So CM Punk was on Colt Cabana’s Art of Wrestling podcast and went OFF on WWE, Vince, HHH and everything about them in one of the best rants you’ll ever hear.  You probably should listen to it in full, but here’s the most detailed synopsis I’ve found so far.  THis is a long one but totally worth the time.

No I didn’t write this myself if that’s not clear.  My thoughts are at the bottom.

Source: http://www.cagesideseats.com/wwe/2014/11/27/7298557/cm-punk-story-walking-out-on-wwe

• He says that while people have remarked time and again that he couldn’t change anything while sitting on his couch in Chicago he disagrees because it almost took him doing exactly that for meaningful change to occur. He indicates that while they may have done some things to spite him, he’s really happy that certain things happened the way they did. He doesn’t outright say that the Daniel Bryan run through WrestleMania 30 was because he left but he definitely hints at as much.
• “It’s okay to be bitter about some things. That’s how you work through stuff.”
• He remarks that he’s the happiest he’s been in a really long time. “I’m the f****** happiest I’ve been in I don’t know how long, at least three years, legitimately. I find these other things that have made me happy and I thought this thing that I loved, that I thought I loved, it just made me so miserable. All the time, it made me miserable. I guess the black and the white of it, when you boil it all down, the essence of it, was I was miserable, I was unhappy, f*** it! I made myself happy. I left. That’s what it boils down to. It wasn’t an easy decision to make but it was also a long time coming.”
• He said there are many assumptions, like he was disgruntled with his creative direction, he was injured, he was mad about working with Triple H. “There’s an element of truth in all those things but I can’t say there was one big thing that led to my decision.” He does say that the biggest was his health.
• He despises the term “pipe bomb” now because everyone refers to promos as that now.
• People were calling him about sponsor money after the pipe bomb and he pitched it to Vince McMahon, who wouldn’t sign off on it. Then Brock Lesnar came in and was allowed to have sponsors on his wrestling gear.
• The story behind the pitch to WWE on walking out with Chael Sonnen at a UFC show and how it would have been good business. Vince told him someone might die in a fight and there’s no way they could let him go. Vince was also apparently appalled at the idea of women fighting in the UFC.
• He says the environment is “creatively toxic” and gives examples of issues like pitching something to Vince, being told “no,” and seeing John Cena doing that exact thing a week later.
• For the fans who are cool fans of his and who would like to hear an explanation, he is giving it to them right now. For those who were demanding it and calling him a quitter, those people can go to hell. For that matter, just because you bought a t-shirt doesn’t entitle you to anything and you didn’t make him and WWE didn’t make him. “WWE was a f******pit stop.” He said he’s not defined by his job, and no one should be.
• “That place should be the happiest place to work and they use that as some bizarre mindf***. ‘Go out there and have fun!’ It’s like ‘f*** you, this place sucks, and on top of that, you’re not f****** paying me nearly enough to do this s***.”
• He brings up the WWE Network coming out and how he spent months asking questions and wasn’t told anything.
• He rails on WWE for how they treat wrestlers as far as concussion protocol goes, revealing that he was working through concussions (he got one in the Royal Rumble too, and the testing for it was a joke) and a knee injury and messed up ribs. He was still in a mindset of doing what was best for “the boys” so he gutted out a lot of situations he definitely shouldn’t have.
• When The Rock came back, he said he wanted to work babyface against a strong heel so Punk was given the choice to either turn heel or drop the WWE title to Daniel Bryan. He was told that if he turned heel and did the job, he would be owed one. So he made the sacrifice, one he admits wasn’t that big of a sacrifice. He does say he tried to politic his way into the main event of WrestleMania, making Rock vs. Cena into a three-way before they booked him against Undertaker.
• Punk talks about WWE plans to get him a heater after WrestleMania and he reveals The Shield was his idea, believe it or not. They wanted a heel stable that would have included Punk, Big Show, Daniel Bryan, and Seth Rollins. So he pitched that they pick three guys from developmental to create the stable. They asked who he wanted and he said “Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and Chris Hero.” Triple H vetoed Hero and they put Roman Reigns in that spot instead. The idea was to put The Shield with Punk but plans changed.
• He says the Ryback program took years off his life because of how green he is. He also calls Ryback “steroid guy” because “I call it like I see it” and reveals that Ryback kicked him in the stomach so hard during a match it broke his ribs and he never got an apology or call about it.
• “I wrestled that match with Undertaker at WrestleMania with the biggest f****** chip on my shoulder because I knew it was going to be better than Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H and The Rock vs. John Cena.” They admitted that he should have went on last and he got “so f****** mad” before demanding that they should pay him like he went on last and they didn’t.
• He harps on wrestlers not taking a stand against the machine, going along with stories that don’t make any sense for anyone. He said the only people who say anything are Cena and maybe Randy Orton.
• His response to being told they wanted him to do the job to Brock Lesnar was to wonder who was coming to work the next day and, of course, being told that he would but Brock wouldn’t and there wouldn’t be a rematch at the next show. So he found a way to get excited about doing what they asked, working with Chris Jericho at Payback and Lesnar at SummerSlam, thinking it would help his case for the main event of WrestleMania the next year.
• He takes a shot at Triple H not putting over Curtis Axel the way he had originally said he was going to, and wanting to work with him to help elevate him. Instead, they booked him with Ryback again and once again, Ryback injured him with a guerrilla press spot where he missed the table. That’s one of the things he’s bitter about.
• Confirmed: He s*** his pants during SmackDown late last year and tells the story of tweeting it and being told he couldn’t tweet that and had to take it down. Many realized and reported on Punk unfollowing the WWE Twitter account not long after. It turns out he blocked them.
• He complained about the pay he received from his WrestleMania match with Undertaker on the basis that he had the best match on the card and he should have been paid equal to everyone else on the card. When he found out that wasn’t the case, he was outraged by it because “no one else on that card could have laced my boots that night”. When Cabana brings up Rock being a huge movie star and that bringing in more fans, Punk says he doesn’t care and WrestleMania is what draws at this point and no one can tell him different.
• The treatment he received for a large mass on his back was laughable, with the doctor not doing much of anything about it as it grew more and more.
• He went into the Royal Rumble knowing that the plan for WrestleMania was for Batista vs. Randy Orton for the title to main event and his plan was to work so hard during the match that he would change their minds.
• There’s a great story of Punk telling Rusev backstage before the Rumble match that no one gives a s*** about him and he needs to forget that Punk is supposedly a big star and get in there and really make an impression.
• When he was told during the match that he would be eliminated by Kane, he initially responded with the idea that he would quit if Kane even touched him because his wrestler’s mentality kicked in and he wanted to finish the match.
• During the drive to Cleveland for Raw the next night, he was miserable and looked over at his future wife, AJ Lee, who he says he knew he was going to marry and just hadn’t said anything yet, and had an epiphany wondering what he was doing with his life.
• At Raw the night he quit, he went in and was told he was going to have to take a drug — he calls it a “p*** test” — test and considering the new policies they put in place so wrestlers who had failed previous tests could get strikes taken off their record, he was livid that he, of all people, would have to take a pIII test. He demanded to be taken care of for his various health issues and they wanted him to sign a bunch of papers and take the p*** test. That’s when he decided he was done.
• He reveals he called a meeting with Vince McMahon and Triple H initially said he would leave but Punk told him to stay. “I do not love this anymore, I’m f****** sick, I’m f****** hurt, I’m f****** confused, I don’t know as a business what we’re doing anymore, I… every day you tell me this is a team effort but every day it’s a f****** individual effort by me to find what’s necessary to even f****** come here. It’s not fun. I have zero f****** passion for this. I’m f****** concussed, I’m f****** hurt, and alls (sic) you care about is what segment I am and how soon I can f*(***** get my gear on and when I can pea in this f****** cup. And I don’t want to do it anymore.”
• He said he talked openly about bringing back Batista as a babyface being a horrible idea.
• When Triple H told him that Batista took the same p*** test they were asking Punk to take, Punk asked “did you” and got no response. “Look, I thought when I re-signed three years ago, Vince, I told you if I couldn’t be all that I could be you should f****** fire me, that if I was a fraud and I was anything less and fell short of the f****** mark… I sold more shirts than John Cena until I turned heel for you, and you said you owed me one.. I worked guys that were f****** dangerous and you said you owed me one. I did all these f****** things and all I wanted was the main event of WrestleMania and it’s fine if you don’t think that is me and that I’m that caliber of a f****** superstar but then you need to f****** fire me because I do not want to be here and I do not want to be anything less. I will go somewhere else and I will get more f****** over because I know I can. You have shackled me, you have creatively stifled me, you have made this a very toxic environment, I no longer want to be here.”
• “It boggles my mind how Daniel Bryan has not figured into your plans to be in the main event of WrestleMania because this is his f****** year. Just like two years ago it was my f****** year and I was white f****** hot just like he is now and what did you do? You fed me to this guy.” He said Vince responded to all this by saying it was just the concussion talking and that working with Triple H was like working in the main event. Punk says he turned to Triple H and said “All due respect, I do not need to wrestle you, you need to wrestle me. I do not want to wrestle you. I seriously resent you for not putting me over three years ago when you should have. That would have been best for business but you had to f****** come in and squash it. And then I had to lose to F****** Truth and Miz. It didn’t make any business sense then, it doesn’t make any business sense now, and I am in a position now where I can tell you that I don’t have to nor do I want to wrestle you at WrestleMania. I don’t care if I was supposed to win.”
• Punk reveals he was scheduled to beat Triple H at WrestleMania and he didn’t care. “I didn’t want to give him the F****** privilege. He says Triple H never liked him and while you hear stories on the dirt sheets about various things, whenever he was in a room with Triple H there were never good vibes. “The way he would always look sideways at me, the way he always treated me.” He says he thinks Triple H believes he’s a “piece of s***.”
• Triple H told Punk that he had the best match at WrestleMania 29 against Undertaker and that it was the main event. Punk said they can push that way of looking at it to the fans, but the main event is the match that goes on last and that’s all there is to it.
• He says the Batista vs. Randy Orton main event plan was from an old, out of touch mind and he was really, really stoked when they made the change and put Daniel Bryan in the match and gave him his moment.
• When Triple H again pushed that Punk was in the main event at WrestleMania 29, Punk asked if he made the same money as those who went on after him. Again, Triple H responded with silence.
• He said Vince had tears in his eyes and gave Punk a hug, one Punk reciprocated, albeit reluctantly. Then he turned to Triple H, who had extended his hand, shook it, and said “good bye” before walking out.
• He brings up people saying “oh my god, he walked out on his contract” and clarifies that he’s an independent contractor and he could have walked out whenever he wanted to. Plus, he didn’t do it in the middle of a program and he didn’t hold them up. There wasn’t anything advertised for him coming up. He walked when there was nothing for him.
• Vince called him a week after he walked out and asked if he was ready to come back to work. He told Vince “no” at that time.
• His wife, AJ, convinced him to go to a doctor in Tampa Bay and he looked at the mass in his back. He was immediately told that he had a staph infection. He was told he needed to go to a hospital and get on an antibiotic IV drip. He wondered what they would do with less time and they cut it out, and gave him antibiotics, an experience he describes as the most painful thing he’s gone through in his life. He was given three months of antibiotics and told that after working with a staph infection for three months, he could have died.
• After catching up on sleep and feeling a lot better, he got a call from Vince saying he was suspended for two months. After thinking of the timeframe, he thinks that his suspension will come up just after WrestleMania and okay, whatever. But then it came up and he didn’t hear anything. He heard from an investor call that Vince told investors he was “on a sabbatical”. It was then that he realizes he hadn’t received a royalty check.
• He tells the story of finding a royalty check from WWE and calling about what he should do about it. He also asked about the royalty check he had yet to receive and is told that said check was at the desk of a lawyer. He attempted to contact said lawyer and found no success. He says he got a bunch of butt dials from various people and how he called about the royalty checks. He was given the runaround from literally everyone.
• He put the royalty check issue on the backburner because he was getting married and the Blackhawks were in the playoffs and he had a lot going on in his personal life at the time, like planning his honeymoon. Triple H texted him on June 11 asking if he had time to talk. He was upset about this, and said he had a honeymoon he was about to go to after getting married in two days. He asked for his royalties and promised to talk after his honeymoon.
• Punk then reveals that he was fired by WWE on his wedding day and that he believes it was a calculated move. He explains that he got a FedEx and the letter was ridiculous, saying he was in breach of contract on Jan. 27 and he was forfeiting his royalties and there was a no compete clause for UFC in it.
• He said he called a lawyer before going on his honeymoon, gave him his story, and the lawyer said “great, let’s get these motherf******.” He said he can’t talk about the terms of the settlement but does reveal he “got everything I wanted, and then some.”
• WWE tried to get him to sign a non-disparagement agreement and he said that he wasn’t the one who was talking, they were the ones who went out in Chicago and called him a quitter on television. He said he would only consider signing the agreement if they went to Chicago and apologized while admitting they lied, that he didn’t quit, and that they fired him on his wedding day.
• He says WWE was worried that he was going to go to TNA and his lawyer told them he isn’t interested in that and he despises professional wrestling now. He also said there won’t ever be a working relationship with WWE ever again.
• He said he’s happy training and being married and writing comics and just living his life now.
• He says he failed at his goal of wrestling in the main event of WrestleMania but he’s come to terms with it.

My thoughts on it: First and foremost, it’s obvious that Punk’s story is only his side.  I’m certainly not saying he’s lying, but you can only get so much truth out of one party’s version.

Here’s the big thing though: Punk can talk all he wants about how unfair things are and how he should have been in the main event all he wants.  That’s fine.  However, at the end of the day, Rock vs. Cena drew a fortune and Rock vs. Cena II drew a slightly smaller fortune.  Whether Punk was hot or not, those numbers are REALLY hard to argue against.  I still find his match with Undertaker very overrated though as I never bought him as a threat to the Streak, which I found Shawn and HHH (in the Cell at least) to be.  Yeah it was probably the match of the night but it was nothing excellent.

As for stuff I agree with him on, we’ll start with the match against HHH in 2011.  I’ve heard every possible argument about how HHH should have gone over and I don’t buy them at all.  While I don’t think he would have surpassed Cena full time as the top star, I see no reason for HHH to beat him there.  HHH has been a made man for years and was basically retired at that point, but he beat Punk anyway.  I’m not the biggest Punk fan in the world at times but that was ridiculous.  Yeah he got the long title reign out of it but, as he’s said, most of the time Cena was still in the main event (which he should have been a good deal, though not all of, the time).

As for him leaving like he did….I’m split on that.  He’s right that he didn’t have anything major going on, but if he’s right about Batista vs. Orton headlining Wrestlemania (which I don’t completely buy as true), he had a legitimate complaint.  It’s one thing for Lesnar or Rock or someone with a legitimate drawing record to come in and take a spot like that, but Batista isn’t a big enough star to validate that kind of power.  I would have liked to see Cena vs. Punk vs. Rock at Wrestlemania XXIX, but I see why WWE went the way they did.  As for XXX, as Punk said, it was Bryan’s year.

Overall he makes a ton of valid points, but a lot of it comes off like the same fanboy comments you hear all over the place.  Yes he was hot, but if that doesn’t translate to business, it’s not something that can be done.  That being said, I think they screwed up by having HHH beat him in 2011 and giving him the title as a consolation prize instead of as the big prize for him.

It’s very interesting stuff, but don’t immediately take it all as gospel.  Also, I know he said he’ll never be back, but would you have believed that Bret Hart would not only come back in 2010 but win a title in WWE?  Keep that in mind.

Today is Orlando Jordan. Let’s get this over with.

Allegedly Jordan got started in 1999 but I can’t find anything on him until 2002 in OVW. However we’ll start on Smackdown, July 31, 2003.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Cena is still heel here and raps about almost beating Undertaker at Vengeance recently. He even makes gay jokes about Undertaker and Jordan, which would be far more interesting later on. Jordan charges the ring and blasts Cena in the face to take over early. John will have none of that though and chokes Jordan down onto the mat. He goes after Jordan’s ribs and just grabs his face to block a sunset flip. Jordan fights out of the corner with right hands but walks into the FU for the pin.

Jordan would become JBL’s Chief of Staff in 2004, earning him this match on August 12, 2004.

Undertaker vs. Orlando Jordan

That’s not a bad way to start a second hour. The big man dominates to start with shoulders and a backdrop. Old School is countered with rights and lefts in the corner but Undertaker hammers away, knocking Jordan senseless. Undertaker avoids a charge in the corner and nails the chokeslam but JBL offers a distraction. That’s fine with Taker as Old School plants Jordan again.

A running DDT gets two on Orlando but he slips out of a tombstone attempt and hits Undertaker low. They head outside with Orlando managing to whip Undertaker into the steps. Back in and Jordan hammers away with more punches (actually fits because he used to be a boxer) but Undertaker nails him and loads up the tombstone, only to get nailed by the Clothesline From JBL for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Shockingly good match here with both guys working hard, even though the match was short. Jordan would of course never amount to anything while Undertaker was still getting his wheels back under him after becoming the Dead Man again. Not a great match or anything but it was a big surprise.

JBL would enter his last feud as champion against John Cena. As a loyal minion, Jordan took Cena on in a US Title match on Smackdown, March 3, 2005.

US Title: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Champion Cena powers him down for two to start and a release fisherman’s suplex gets the same. A big side slam sets up the Shuffle and Jordan is in big trouble. Orlando bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with a hiptoss putting Jordan down for another two before we hit the chinlock. Jordan’s cross body is countered into a slam for three straight near falls as this has been one sided. John stomps him down in the corner and we’re back in the chinlock.

Orlando FINALLY goes to the eyes to get a breather and a rollup with feet on the ropes gets two. Cena rolls through a high cross body for about the tenth near fall of the match. Ten right hands in the corner have Jordan in even more trouble but he comes out with a powerbomb. The amateur boxer (Jordan) hammers away even more and now it’s the champ in a chinlock. A legdrop gets two on Cena and we’re right back to the chinlock. Cena fights out but walks into a powerslam for two.

Back up again and Cena hits a flying shoulder but misses the second to put both guys down. Jordan is up first and grabs Cena’s chain, only to have Cena throw it out to the floor. The Throwback (a running flip faceplant) gets two more on Jordan and there’s the ProtoBomb. There’s the FU but the Bashams (more JBL lackeys) run in for a distraction, allowing JBL to grab the title belt. JBL clocks Cena upside the head and Jordan has the biggest upset in like, ever.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t great but they had to get the title off Cena somehow so they could head to the big moment at Wrestlemania. At the end of the day though, it’s Orlando Jordan pinning John Cena for a title. There’s no real way this can be right. The match was a lot of Cena dominating before Jordan got in some actually decent power stuff.

Here’s a title defense at Judgment Day 2005.

US Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Heidenreich

Jordan got the US Title in JBL’s Cabinet from Cena and just kind of kept it. He was never anything special at all but he kept it for like 6 months. For those of you that haven’t seen Heidenreich, he’s uh…..different. And remember who he’s in there against when I say that. First up though, he needs to find a friend.

This was his thing at the time: he would pick a kid out of the audience to be his friend and would read them a poem. He chants WHERE’S MY FRIEND as he looks around for one. The girl is named Alex and she’s like 10. She can’t say the word Minneapolis. She’s REALLY excited about being sat in a chair and having a big tattooed man read her a poem. Also, chant and champ do not rhyme. This is one of those characters we would describe as out there.

Oh hey we have a match now. Cole talks about the Preakness winner being named Alex like the girl. That’s a very stupid man. Heidenreich beat Jordan on Smackdown to set this up. Belly to belly suplex gets two for Heidenreich. Out to the floor and they slug it out a bit. When Heidenreich hits him you can hear him say POW. I’m not sure if I should make fun of this or not. He might ask me to go get an espresso.

The fans chant Buckwheat Sucks which is rather appropriate for Jordan. You figure out what I mean by that. Heidenreich does his walk (don’t ask) and hammers away. Big boot gets two. Jordan gets a swinging neckbreaker for two as Alex is panicking. Jordan gets his WEAK DDT to end this abruptly.

Rating: D-. No idea why they thought Jordan should be champion but somehow he’s the best option here. Jordan was really bad at what he did and yet he kept winning for no apparent reason. Benoit beat him in like 30 seconds at Summerslam which was a breath of fresh air to everyone.

Another at Great American Bash 2005.

US Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Jordan is champion and has been since March, beating Cena for the title. Yes, this guy kept the title like six months for absolutely no apparent reason. He has stupid looking puffed up hair here too. Benoit hammers him down to start as Orlando isn’t all that talented. Jordan tries to kick him in the knee and Benoit just chops him down. The champ tries working on the arm but Benoit leg drags him down and we go to the floor.

Benoit goes into the post and Jordan takes the buckle off. That lets the Canadian hit a German on the American to take over. There was no story to this other than Benoit beat Booker to get this shot. Jordan works on the neck for a second and then fires off punches. He used to be a boxer apparently. Ok so now Jordan is on the arm. PICK A BODY PART AND STICK WITH IT!!!

A dropkick puts Benoit down which Tazz tries to pass off as a big impressive move. Back to the arm and this match needs to end already. I’ve been thinking that a lot in this show. Benoit grabs a Sharpshooter attempt to try to get something going but Jordan would rather bore us to death. Jordan hooks something like a crossface chickenwing and then off to the neck because he worked on it for a few seconds earlier.

Jordan goes up but Benoit chops him down and hits a superplex off the top to put both guys down. Another Sharpshooter attempt fails but here are the Rolling Germans. I’m still not sure what popping your hips means. Swan dive gets two after a delay. Benoit chops away but Orlando’s head smacks into Benoit’s to put Chris down. Jordan finishes taking the pad off the buckle and a charging Benoit hits that for the pin to keep the title on Jordan. Yes they really did this. Benoit would win it at Summerslam in like 30 seconds.

Rating: D. Again the problem here is that Jordan is just boring. He’s as generic as anyone could ask for and I don’t think he had an actual finishing move. He might have used a DDT once in awhile. Imagine Honky Tonk Man’s offense, minus anything resembling charisma or ability in the ring. And he held the title for SIX MONTHS!

Benoit had another shot in the opening match at Summerslam 2005.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan, the most worthless wrestler I can think of at the moment, is defending. He took the title from Cena of all people and defended it over the course of the summer. In some of the smartest booking you’ll ever see to open a show, Benoit shoves him into the corner, snaps off a German suplex and puts Jordan in the Crossface for the submission and the title in 25 seconds.

When a guy is so bad that you can’t trust Chris Benoit with him on live TV, this is the right move. Benoit would go on to show how fast the match was by timing how long it took him to do things like go to the bathroom or have a cup of coffee, each of which lasted longer than the match. Brilliant stuff here and the crowd is instantly on fire.

Here’s the rematch at No Mercy 2005.

US Title: Booker T vs. Christian vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending, Booker gets a big pop as the hometown guy and this is one fall to a finish. Benoit beat Jordan in like 25 seconds at Summerslam to win the title. Why he’s in this match is beyond me. Jordan goes after Benoit and takes him down so the heels (Christian/Jordan) can double team Booker. Booker knocks Christian to the floor and kicks Jordan down but Christian pulls him to the outside.

Benoit pops up out of nowhere with a Crossface on Jordan but Christian saves. With Booker on the floor, Benoit cleans house on the other two. Suplexes all around and Christian is put in a quickly broken up Sharpshooter. Booker comes off the top with a missile dropkick to take Christian down as it’s his turn to be in control. Jordan and Christian are knocked to the floor so we get a staredown between Booker and Benoit.

They don’t really do much though as Christian comes in and is suplexed over the top with ease. Benoit goes to the floor to fight his fellow Canadian as Booker and Jordan clothesline each other down. Christian breaks up the Swan Dive by fighting Benoit on the top. Jordan is whipped into them and the Canadians hit the floor. Booker rolls up Jordan for a VERY close two. Benoit comes back in and walks into a side kick.

Cole reminds us that everyone is legal at the same time. Thanks Cole. The first seven minutes of this match didn’t tell me that. Axe kick gets two on Jordan. Christian throws Benoit into Booker to knock Booker to the floor but Christian can’t hit the Unprettier on Benoit. Benoit tries Rolling Germans but Orlando breaks it up.

Orlando is thrown out onto Booker, leaving the Canadians in the ring. After four Germans Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Christian tries a rollup but Benoit reverses into the Crossface. Orlando seems to miss his cue on the save as he takes forever. Jordan is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter makes Christian tap.

Rating: C. This seems like a match that belonged on a house show. It wasn’t that bad but I don’t think anyone was really expecting a new champion here. Benoit was on a roll at this point and would hold the title for about six more months. It’s not a bad match but it was more of a Benoit showcase than a competitive match.

Jordan wouldn’t do much until he was released in the middle of 2006. After spending 2007 in Japan and the first half of 2008 in Europe, he somehow had this match for the NWA World Title in Spain on June 25, 2008.

NWE Championship: Orlando Jordan vs. Ultimate Warrior

It’s more of an awkward looking jog than a run. Orlando jumps Warrior during the rope shaking and hammers away in the corner, only to have the painted one comeback with kicks and chops. A backdrop puts Jordan down and he bails to the floor. Warrior’s paint is already peeling off. Back in and Orlando gets in a few shots, only to be rammed into the corner. A running clothesline puts the champion on the floor again and Warrior hammers on his own chest a bit.

Orlando stalls on the floor for a long time before coming back in to trade some hammerlocks. Jordan can’t keep a rear waistlock on for very long as Warrior powers into one of his own. They hit the mat for a bit as the match is quickly breaking down. Another backdrop puts Jordan outside and Warrior is clearly gassed. He follows Orlando outside and they fight in the confetti with Jordan in control.

Back in and Jordan mocks the chest beating, only to get taken down by a shoulder block. A powerslam gets two and a superplex to Jordan brings both guys down to the mat. Orlando is up first but Warrior starts shaking the ropes and hits the clotheslines. Warrior actually goes up for a nice cross body but the splash hits knees. He pops right back up though and hits some clotheslines and a bad shoulder for the pin and the title. No slam or splash?

Rating: D. This just wasn’t very good. I have no idea who thought giving this match 17 minutes was a good idea when Warrior barely made it through 14 minutes back in 1998. There was a lot of standing around but it didn’t really help. Warrior was clearly out of energy about five minutes in and it was becoming more sad than anything else.

Jordan would get signed by TNA because they would take anyone at the time. Here he is with a title shot at Sacrifice 2010.

Global Title: Rob Terry vs. Orlando Jordan

We’re told that Terry has never turned down a title defense. What has he had? Two of them? They call this a battle of the freaks. Ok then. Jordan is lowered from the ceiling into the ring. Taz says it’s better than walking to the ring with a black towel on your head. Ok that was a funny line. Terry is called the Global Champion of the World.

So don’t pay attention to that Venezuelan Global Champion. He’s got JACK on Terry. Terry has come a long way in the last few months. Who would believe him having passable matches (given who he is) a few months ago? They list off the people he’s defended against. Wow they sound pitiful. This has been all Terry here. Jordan goes for the knee which makes a bit of sense I suppose.

Jordan can’t even drop a knee properly. That’s hard to do. It truly is. Oh and the flamboyant and bizarre guy is wearing gold. Nothing stolen there at all. The fans thing Terry Wants It apparently. WOW I want to smack those people. And there’s the spinebuster (Not calling it the Freakbuster or whatever Tenay called it) for the pin. That came out of nowhere. I SAID IT FIRST TAZ! SHUT UP!

Rating: D. Why in the world do these two get a decent amount of time on PPV? Again, Jordan is shock value for the sake of shock value. I defy anyone to say he’s valuable to the company or worth any kind of money he gets. What has he ever won that anyone (who doesn’t read my stuff) going to remember?

Here he is at Bound For Glory 2010 in a COMEDY team.

Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. Ink Inc.

Ink Inc. is a tattooed team comprised of Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal. This is the result of an Xplosion match and Eric is carrying a rulebook and has drawn on tattoos for some reason. Oh this is during Young’s latest crazy period. Jordan and Jesse get things going but Young quickly puts the referee on the apron and takes his place. Things settle down and Jesse gets two off a spinning cross body and it’s off to Shannon for a kick to the face and two.

Young comes in and gets rolled up for two so he congratulates Shannon for his success. He high fives everyone, including a tag to Jordan. Ink Inc. kicks Jordan in the corner and Eric wants to join in, only to get crotched on the top rope. Jordan gets crotched right along with him as comedy abounds. Back in and Orlando grinds on Shannon before planting him with a spinebuster. The fans want Eric but get a Jordan suplex for two on Moore.

Young breaks up Jordan’s cheating to give Moore another two count and now Orlando doesn’t want to tag. Instead Jordan nails Jesse and holds Moore open for a cheap shot but Eric goes over and takes Jesse’s place on the apron. Moore tags Eric in because why not and Young cleans house on Jordan. In the confusing, Shannon loads Jordan up in a fireman’s carry so Neal can hit a top rope neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D. If you like Eric Young’s comedy, this was gold. If you’re like me and he makes you want to pound a rusty spike into your eye, this was the longest eight and a half minutes of your life. I will however give him this: at least this was something different than the same four things he would do for years on end.

Here’s a four way for the sake of a four way on Impact, April 14, 2011.

Jesse Neal vs. Douglas Williams vs. Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan

Winner gets….a win I guess. All of the partners are at ringside and Moore gets after Steiner. Orlando looks to be in a purple dress for lack of a better term. Neal vs. Williams to start but the British dude tags in Jordan quickly. Side slam gets two and it’s off to Crimson vs. Neal. T–Bone suplex gets two but Neal hits his spear on Crimson. Moore keeps making fun of Steiner and distracting Neal. Moore finally pushes him and the fight is on. Steiner goes out to help him so we’re down to a three way.

Crimson goes off to help but here’s Abyss to jump Crimson. Magnus and Young fight on the floor as Abyss rips up the railing. Chokeslam onto the guardrail leaves Crimson laying as the match is down to Jordan vs. Williams for all intents and purposes. Jordan grinds on Williams and gets a clothesline for two. Young and Magnus come in which goes nowhere as Jordan hits something like Cross Rhodes (called the Gender Bender) to end it at 3:35.

Rating: D. Considering the fact that about seventy five percent of this match was spent on the stuff outside and what you saw in the ring was nothing special at all, what are you supposed to say here? Weak match to build to a match that really shouldn’t be in a cage. It’s always a problem with Lockdown but rarely a big one. Weak match though.

We’ll wrap it up with Jordan’s last major match to date at Lockdown 2011.

Ink Inc vs. Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. British Invasion

Jordan’s outfit of the night is a Tarzan leopard print kind of deal. I think this is one fall to a finish. Young vs. Neal to start us off with Young immediately trying to escape which isn’t an option for winning. Neal with some arm drags followed by Young with an arm drag leading to a standoff. Moore comes in and takes over with basic heel stuff.

Williams and Jordan get tags at the same time and it’s off to Magnus very quickly. Jordan does various dirty things to Magnus while beating both Brits up. Off to Neal again as this is moving too fast, namely due to having too many people in the match again. The Brits beat down Neal for a bit and a double back elbow gets two. Double neckbreaker gets no count as Moore makes the save.

The crowd wants Steiner so we keep going with Neal vs. Magnus because the crowd wasn’t quite dead enough. Neal breaks free and tags Crimson when he was wide open to tag either. After Crimson beats on Williams for a bit we FINALLY get Steiner and a roar. Steiner cleans house with his traditional stuff, including belly to bellies all around. He goes for the pin on Williams but Moore distracts him.

Young tries to jump Steiner and Crimson is fine with his partner fighting off four or five guys. Shannon makes a blind tag to bring himself in. He dances around Scott and then chokes away in the corner. Young takes his pants off to reveal some tiny tiger print tights. And so much for that as a jumping back elbow takes him down.

Everything breaks down as Moore hits a moonsault press to Williams, Young hits the Gender Bender to Young, Crimson hits Red Alert to Jordan, Magnus hits….something like a Michinoku Driver to Jordan, Steiner hits a t–bone on Magnus, Young hits a missile dropkick to Steiner….and then tries to escape again. Rolling Chaos to Moore is blocked and the Mooregasm ends Williams and gives Ink Inc the win. I give up.

Rating: D. Dudes, I beg of you: GIVE THE FANS SOMETHING TO CHEER FOR! Steiner was over beyond belief and was in the match for all of a minute. The opening 45 minutes of this show should be a lesson in how to kill a crowd. Nothing has been interesting and the best match has been ok at best. Well done TNA: you’ve proven me right so far.

At the end of the day, Orlando Jordan just isn’t that good. His in ring work wasn’t very good, his character was a disaster, his feuds are forgettable and there’s nothing about him worth remembering. There are definitely worse guys out there, but his stuff in TNA was just so ridiculous that it drags a relatively average guy through the floor.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 24, 2014
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re coming off one of the most eventful main events in a very long time as Sting actually debuted last night after roughly thirteen years of waiting. Team Cena prevailed over Team Authority with Dolph Ziggler actually hanging on until the end after Cena was eliminated when Big Show turned heel. Again. Other than that we’ve got less than three weeks before TLC and what might be the main event is already set with Dean Ambrose set to face Bray Wyatt in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. Let’s get to it.

We open with the required recap of last night’s show.

Here’s the Authority to open things up because where would we be without them? Stephanie talks about how unfair last night was and blames the loss on Sting. They stand before you tonight as winners instead of losers because they still have corporate responsibilities. Stephanie starts crying and the fans chant YES. HHH knows there is no one here that could handle the Authority’s power.

We live in a universe governed by the laws of finance and commerce. They have to make decisions based on supply and demand, not what’s popular. Is Cena going to do that? Ziggler? Sting maybe? HHH doesn’t know why Sting did that last night but maybe he was trying to make his career relevant by standing in the ring with HHH for thirty seconds.

He goes into a speech from the end of A Few Good Men (almost word for word) before asking who makes the decisions now. There is no Cena, Ziggler or Ryback without the Authority and there is no WWE Universe. What are the fans going to do without Raw now? They can sit on a couch and live in their pathetic failures, because the Authority is going to leave now, but you all will beg for them to come back.

Cue Daniel Bryan of all people for one of the biggest YES chants this side of Wrestlemania. He doesn’t say anything but does the YES pose all the way up the aisle, right in the Authority’s face. That certainly woke the fans up and that’s exactly what you bring a guy like Bryan back for. Bryan stays in the ring as we go to a break.

Back from commercial with Bryan talking about how great it feels to be back in this ring tonight. It felt great to kick the Authority to the curb, but that brings him to Team Authority. As for tonight, Bryan is in charge of Raw and asks all of the losing members of Team Authority to come out here right now. Cole calls each member a loser because Cole doesn’t understand the meaning of the words “subtle” or “neutral”.

Bryan says he won’t be vindictive like the Authority so no titles are in danger and no one is being put in unfair matches. We’ll start with Rollins, who tonight gets to team with two superstars to face Cena and Ziggler. Rollins grabs a mic but it doesn’t work at first so we get some quick banter between him and Bryan.

Seth holds up the briefcase and says he’s still the future of this company. He thinks his partners will be something like Hornswoggle and El Torito or JBL and Cole. Bryan won’t be making the selections though. Instead, it’s in the WWE Universe’s hands. Daniel however, does get to pick the options. It will either be Mark Henry/Luke Harper, Mark Henry/Kane or the Stooges.

Bryan starts the voting as Rollins runs down the Stooges as being pretty bad at their job before storming off. Next up is Kane, who really shouldn’t be Director of Operations anymore. Bryan puts it up to the people and they give him a resounding NO. He won’t fire Kane but he will reassign him. Starting tonight, Kane is Director of Food and Drink, meaning he’ll be known as Concessions Kane. A guy brings out popcorn and hot dogs for Kane to carry throughout the night as we’re in comedy mode.

That brings us to Rusev and Lana. Bryan thinks the US Champion should be a bit more patriotic so he has some options. Rusev can either defend the title in a battle royal against the rest of the roster, or he can pledge allegiance to a big US flag in the middle of the ring. Lana freaks out as the crowd chants USA.

After they storm off, it’s Harper’s chance. He won the title last week with the help of the Stooges (“who you can vote for as Option C on the WWE App!”), but tonight he’s having to go it alone. Bryan needs an opponent for him though, so how about the Lunatic Fringe Dean Ambrose?

That leaves just Henry, who tries to leave before Bryan can do anything for him. Bryan was backstage when a big guy came up to him and asked for a favor. Naturally Bryan said yes because that’s his thing, so tonight a guy is going to get his chance to avenge his loss to Mark Henry a few years back at Wrestlemania, so tonight it’s Henry vs. Ryback. Bryan gave him the match because he’s running Raw tonight, and “THAT’S WHAT I DO!”

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Ryback jumps him from the aisle and sends Henry head first into the post. He drives Henry into the barricade a few times but referees pull him off as we go to a break without a bell. Back with the opening bell and Henry already staggered. He’s still able to knock Ryback down a few times but Ryback comes back with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook connects for the pin at 55 seconds.

HHH and Stephanie are walking through the back when they run into Vince. Stephanie apologizes for letting them down but Vince says he isn’t an angry man. He is however disappointed by the two of them coming up against insurmountable odds. Somehow, someway the two of them have to fix this though. Vince yells at Stephanie for being sorry because he’s never been sorry for a thing in his life. That might change when he has to spend Thanksgiving with them though. All three leave in a limo with Vince still ranting about sorry.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

Luke hammers away to start and drives in some shots to the throat in the corner. Dean takes him right back down and drives in crossface shots to the nose. It’s off to the arm of all things with Harper in early trouble. Luke is sent to the floor for a big dive as we take a break. Back with Harper holding a chinlock but Dean fights up, only to be sent chest first into the buckle.

Ambrose fights back with right hands but his boot to the ribs is caught and Harper shoves it back, sending Dean face first onto the mat. After a quick chinlock, Harper sends him out to the floor yet again. Another whip sends Dean into the barricade but Ambrose comes back with a hard clothesline. They head back inside with Dean grabbing a rollup for two and a crossbody for the same.

Harper gets tied up in the ropes for the running dropkick, followed by the Fameasser to drive Harper face first into the mat for two. Dean hammers away until Harper grabs the sitout Boss Man Slam for two of his own. Ambrose breaks up a superplex attempt and hits his standing elbow drop, only to eat a superkick. That’s fine with Dean who hits the Rebound Clothesline for two more. The champ goes and gets his title but Dean hits the suicide dive to prevent him from walking out. Back in and Harper fights off Dirty Deeds until he shoves Dean into the referee…..for the DQ at 14:39.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but I liked that they didn’t just have Bray run in for the DQ like I was expecting. The ending was stupid but at least they kept both guys looking strong. Dean facing the former Wyatt Family is a good idea, though I’m glad they didn’t put the title on him. The feud doesn’t need to be for a belt.

Post match Dean gets a chair and hits Dirty Deeds before bringing in a table and ladder. Bray sneaks in through the crowd and lays him out though, including Sister Abigail on the floor.

Big E. New Day video.

Here are Santino Marella and Larry the Cable Guy with the latter in a mask, shorts and no shirt. Larry says he’s ready to go King Kong Bundy on someone but Santino says we’re not here to wrestle. He takes off the mask and apologizes for all the eye candy. Larry says he beat up Savage one night in Florida. Santino: “Randy Savage???” Larry: “No, Fred.” The Cable Guy says he’s a fan of Steve Austin and says he’d be Stone Cold Creamery (Cold Stone Creamery is an ice cream store chain). Cue Goldust and Stardust to get in Larry’s face and that’s it.

Tag Team Titles: Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Goldust/Stardust

Miz/Mizdow are defending and Mizdow has toy titles again. Stardust slams Miz to start but misses an elbow. Miz tries to tag out but Stardust takes him into the corner for a chest rake. It’s off to Goldust for an atomic drop, meaning Mizdow comes in to mock an atomic drop of his own. Miz dives into a punch to the ribs and Stardust breaks up another tag attempt by knocking Miz to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Stardust in control of Miz until a jawbreaker puts both guys down. The hot tag brings in Mizdow to clean house to a big reaction. He nails a quick Reality Check on Stardust and actually nips up. Stardust snaps his throat across the top though and things slow down again with Goldust holding a chinlock as a trainer checks on Miz.

A powerslam gets two on Mizdow and Stardust’s release gordbuster gets the same. Miz is telling the trainer to stay off the face as Mizdow makes his comeback and puts Starudst in the Figure Four, only to have Goldust make the save. Mizdow sends him outside but Miz makes a blind tag and hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Stardust to retain at 10:16.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it continues the story as we get closer to Mizdow’s face turn. It would be nice if he started backing up the character in the ring and we got a glimpse of that tonight. Nothing great here but I’m glad they didn’t change the titles back just a night later.

The concessions manager yells at Kane and puts him in charge of chips.

Lana says this isn’t fair, just like America. Daniel Bryan pops up on screen and gives him them the same options, but gives us a supervisor to make sure it works well. Cue Sgt. Slaughter as the big flag comes down. Sarge leads them in the Pledge but Rusev won’t bring himself to do it. Rusev stands there for awhile and finally throws the mic down. It’s time to fight and Slaughter takes off the hat but Jack Swagger comes in for the save. This story again?

Kane gives fans food when Santino and Larry show up in line. Santino winds up wearing mustard and Larry gets a hot dog because Kane is a fan.

Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Rematch of the pre-show match last night. Fandango hits a hard elbow to the jaw to start but Justin knocks him off the top rope. A big clothesline flips Justin inside out though as Rosa looks on from ringside. The top rope legdrop ends Gabriel at 1:57.

Here’s a smiling Big Show in a suit for his explanation about last night. He wants to make sure everything is cool because he saw a lot of things online that didn’t sit well with him. Last night he did some things and now people see him as a bad guy. In reality he’s a human being who made a mistake.

Surely everyone has done that before though, so the people should be able to forgive him. He has a medical condition that makes him this big, but on the inside he’s a person just like us. Last night he saw John Cena vulnerable and did what he thought he had to do. Big Show is sure that everyone can forgive him because he wouldn’t have done that if he knew Team Cena was going to win anyway. He’s been putting his body on the line for the last twenty years and maybe the fans owe him this one.

The fans say he sold out and Big Show gets angry in a hurry. He’s heard all those people in the back that are calling him a coward and wants one of them to come out right now. Cue Erick Rowan, who Show calls an upside down Sheamus. Show could understand if this was John Cena or someone, but Erick Rowan? He mocks Rowan a bit before Rowan takes off the mask. That earns Erick a warning to leave before he gets hurt but Rowan says he doesn’t like bullies and the fight is on. Show is quickly knocked to the floor and he breaks the steps before leaving.

The Stooges come up to Rollins in the back and are both about a foot shorter. Ziggler comes in and says he’s asked his 1.4 million Twitter followers to vote for the Stooges.

Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee

AJ comes out with the mic and says Nikki has turned the title into a new accessory. As for Brie, “lesbihonest”, she’s an even bigger skank than her sister. Nikki offers a quick distraction so Brie can nail a hard clothesline for two. We hit a hammerlock for a bit before AJ fights up for a quick Shining Wizard for two. Nikki shouts about Brie Mode and another distraction lets Brie grab a rollup for the pin at 3:22.

Rating: D. The Bellas continue to drag down whatever segment they’re in. I know WWE thinks we care about them because they’re on a reality show but for the love of all things good and holy they’re just another pair of lame Divas. Yeah they’ve had their moments, but they’re treated like the second coming of Trish and Lita and it just doesn’t work.

AJ yells at the Bellas post match and says talent is not sexually transmitted.

Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Tyson Kidd/Natalya

Larry the Cable Guy and Santino are on commentary to dance with the Bunny. Rose grabs him by the ears and throws him into the ring for some yelling. Rose tags out to the Bunny tos tart and it’s time for comedy. The Bunny hits a quick middle rope dropkick and stomps on Tyson in the corner. Tyson finally smacks the Bunny in the face before it’s off to Natalya….who immediately tags back to Tyson. Jerry explains the idea of the match (both teams are having relationship problems) as Ada gets two off a spinebuster. The Bunny trips Rose by mistake and Kidd hooks a rollup for the pin at 3:58.

Rating: D. We’re to the point now where there’s only so much more they can do before they unmask the Bunny. That being said, there needs to be a good reveal and I’m really not sure who is going to be a big enough deal. Larry and Santino were just kind of there and have to do stuff like this for promoting a DVD and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Ryback wants to find the concession stand.

New Day video with all three together. They’re debuting next week.

Ryback shows up to the concession stand and asks for two cans of tuna, a protein shake and a can of beef jerkey. Kane throws a hot dog at him instead so Ryback shoves the table into him. The Big Red Machine throws popcorn and ketchup at him and leaves. Ryback throws a bag of nuts at Kane and that’s it. Funny right?

Cena is in the back with Ziggler and praises Dolph for his win last night. Ziggler says he promised to find a way to survive and that’s exactly what he did. However, it took a miracle in the form of the man called Sting. Cena thanks Sting and Ziggler for changing history and giving the fans all the power. They’re going to steal the show tonight.

John Cena/Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins/???/???

Bryan comes out before the match to introduce Rollins and the partners. In a vote closer than I was expecting, the Stooges win with 93% of the vote. They come out in their suits and it’s time to fight. Noble starts with Cena but Rollins makes him take his tie off. The look on Rollins’ face is hysterical as Cena lets Noble grab a headlock. Mercury comes in and runs the ropes, only to accidentally knock his partner down. Seth has to break up an AA attempt and they go outside for a breather as we take a break.

Back with Cena in a bit of trouble until Noble misses a charge into the post. The hot tag brings in Ziggler for some clotheslines and the running DDT to Noble, but a Mercury distraction lets Rollins nail him to take over. Back to Noble for a slam and a legdrop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Ziggler pops up with a dropkick. Mercury comes in and allows the hot tag to Cena as house is cleaned. Everything breaks down and the Stooges try to save Rollins. This earns them a whip into each other and an AA and Zig Zag for the pin at 10:05.

Rating: D. Yeah it was bad but what else are you expecting here? Rollins not getting pinned is fine but the match really wasn’t anything to see. Cena and Ziggler beating up the Stooges is fine, even if a bit boring. This was a dull way to end a dull show though and I really didn’t care.

Bryan throws Rollins into the ring for a superkick and AA of his own. Posing looks to end the show…..but we have an e-mail from the general manager. The fans groan as Cole says the line. The party is officially over because next week is Cyber Monday when order and discipline return to Raw. The e-mail sound goes off over and over to close the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Tonight wasn’t very good but it really wasn’t supposed to be anything big. This was the show taking a night off after such a big show last night and while it’s annoying, its kind of necessary as we’re setting up the mostly meaningless TLC show before the Rumble season begins. The show wasn’t much to see but nothing on it was all that terrible. That’s more than I can say about Raw a lot of the time so we’ll call this one a dull effort.

Results

Ryback b. Mark Henry – Meat Hook

Luke Harper b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose hit the referee

Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Goldust/Stardust – Skull Crushing Finale to Stardust

Fandango b. Justin Gabriel – Top rope legdrop

Brie Bella b. AJ Lee – Rollup

Tyson Kidd/Natalya b. Adam Rose/The Bunny – Rollup to Rose

Dolph Ziggler/John Cena b. Seth Rollins/Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury – Zig Zag to Mercury

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I know I’m running late with this but you try putting out a book and having a bad sinus infection and see if you can write about a show featuring a grumpy cat. Anyway, this was the go home show for Survivor Series and the big question was how would the teams look going into the only match that matters on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

The show opened, naturally, with the Authority. Trips and Steph went on a rampage about WCW and how this is all they have and all that jazz. They recruited Ryback, showed him clips of Cena insulting him last year, and were told that Ryback is on his own. Somehow, this again took about twenty minutes. That’s one of the most annoying things about WWE anymore: these opening segments that you could cover in half the time. I would ask why that’s so hard, but it’s because HHH talks slower than a turtle and Stephanie goes on forever with the same bad acting over and over.

Immediately after the promo that would not die, Harper beat Ziggler to win the Intercontinental Title. This made the most sense as there’s almost no way that Ziggler can have all those matches against big names and not eventually drop the title. It’s even better that they had Rollins attack Ziggler before the match so it wasn’t even a clean loss. That’s what I’m talking about by protecting someone and they did it well with Ziggler.

Miz and Mizdow spent most of the night talking to the Grumpy Cat. Thankfully they kept this short but it was still stupid.

The Bunny cost Adam Rose another match, so the hopping enthusiast….uh…..shall we say, simulated something by thrusting his hips behind Rose. Again, it was stupid.

Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose said the same things about Dean’s father being in jail and Ambrose growing up alone. Bray can cast out the demons, so Ambrose came down and beat him up. Standard build but I’d like them to actually go somewhere with these interesting ideas.

Larry the Cable Guy is guest hosting next week due to being in the latest WWE movie that almost no one will see.

Ryback beat Cesaro in a good power match. This is the standard idea of “let’s let two guys who are really strong hit each other really hard” and as usual, it worked well.

Lana teased us with a topless photo ala Kim Kardashian which wound up being of Vladimir Putin. Heath Slater came out dressed like Apollo Creed from Rocky and got beaten up faster than I expected him too.

Big Show and Stephanie had another of their stupid arguments until Sheamus came out. Stephanie made a match between them for a shot at the World Title, but the Authority came in for the DQ. Yeah it was a DQ because they hit Sheamus first, and Heaven forbid they just hit both guys at the same time. Of course it was called a no contest because that’s the planned ending, despite whatever actually happened. The match itself was ok with Sheamus showing off his freakish strength but there might as well have been a big countdown clock until the obvious finish. Sheamus was beaten down and apparently injured.

Nikki Bella had Brie dress up as AJ for an exhibition. The real AJ’s distraction let Brie get a rollup pin while looking better than she usually does.

Cena gave Ryback a pep talk to try and get him to join.

The four teams in Sunday’s fourway had a bad eight man tag. This was exactly what it sounds like.

The big closing segment was Cena confronting Team Authority for a contract signing. Cena signed and then talked about how he’s going to take out every single member in a row. This went on WAY too long until Big Show and Ziggler came out to fight with him. Erick Rowan of all people came out to back them up and Cena was fine with it.

I can live with this as while Rowan was in a war with Cena earlier this year, Cena is going to take whoever he can get at this point. It’s a stretch but it worked. Cesaro came out as well but sided with the Authority in a nice bit of trolling. Ryback came out as the real fifth man and Team Cena dominated to end the show.

Overall, again, Raw was all about a single idea. It’s annoying but it’s all they’re focusing on for Sunday. I’m so sick of hearing about this match though and Sunday can’t get here soon enough. Ryback being the focus is interesting, but I have little confidence in WWE to actually pull the trigger on him in any way.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2014
Date: November 23, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally to one of the biggest one match shows I can ever remember.  THey aren’t even trying to hide the fact that this is all about the main event this year and it’s taken a lot to get through the rest of the card as a result.  Obviously this is about Team Cena vs. the Authority with the future of both groups on the line.  Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Fandango is new and improved, meaning he now has Rosa in his corner, comes out to what sounds like Spanish music and wrestles in an open chest sweater. Gabriel gets knocked out to the floor as the announcers talk about his skeleton themed pants. Justin comes back with a kick to the face for two but Fandango takes his head off with a clothesline. A release suplex sets up Fandango’s top rope legdrop for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D. As usual, Rosa was the most entertaining thing out there. This was the same Fandango we’ve seen for nearly two years now and he’s somehow less interesting than he was before. The sweater doesn’t make me care about him any more and he’s just as generic in the ring as he was before he left. Not much to see here.

Bad News Barrett comes out for the first time in months. His topic of course is the main event and he has some bad news for Cena: if the Authority wins, Cena’s life is going to be a nightmare. On the other hand, if the Authority loses, the WWE will never be lost in the era of Bad News Barrett. This was actually something close to a face promo.

Pre-Show: Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro

This is an added match. Cesaro comes out to talk about being neutral like Switzerland when Zeb and Swagger come out to say if Cesaro is on Team Authority, he and Jack are on Team Cena. Swagger grabs him by the ribs to start but Cesaro grabs a suplex to take over. A double stomp is countered into the Patriot Lock though and Cesaro is in early trouble. He kicks Swagger out to the floor though before Swagger charges back in and goes shoulder first into the post.

A German suplex puts Swagger down again and another suplex gets two. Cesaro drops a middle rope elbow for the same and we hit the chinlock. Swagger quickly fights up and loads the Vader Bomb but has to stop and grab the Patriot Lock instead. They’re too close to the ropes though and Cesaro starts rolling Germans. Swagger rolls through again and puts on the third Patriot Lock for the submission at 5:23.

Rating: C-. The match was better than Fandango’s as I have a reason to care about these guys but it was still nothing great. We’ve seen these guys fight so many times now that it’s hard to get interested in yet another match. It’s nice to see Swagger win, but this is another match that could have been on the main show to flesh out the card a bit.

The opening video was all about the main event which I’m sure you’ve heard by now. Literally, nothing else was even mentioned. There’s usually some history if nothing else.

Here’s Vince to open the show. He does his usual enthusiastic welcome and brings out the Authority for a chat. HHH talks about how Vince is the reason we’re here and the Authority starts a Vince chant. The boss cuts them off and asks Vince to come out here. Vince says that tonight, Cena is in charge of four men’s lives. HHH takes over and says that when Team Cena loses tonight, four men are going to be out of work and quickly forgotten.

Stephanie says that if their team loses, they’ll still be running the show, just not from Raw. “Right Dad?” Vince: “Not exactly.” Apparently if HHH and Stephanie lose tonight, they have no authority over any WWE Superstar. Actually, there’s only one man that could ever bring them back to power.

Stephanie immediately starts sucking up to her dad but Vince says the decision will lie with Cena. Stephanie goes into her I’M A MCMAHON speech but Cena cuts her off and says she’s gone tonight. Cena grabs the mic and says that after they’re gone, just like the song says, there is NO CHANCE that he’ll bring them back.

Tag Team Titles: Los Matadores vs. Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

The opening bell is over 22 minutes into the show. Goldust and Stardust are defending with one fall to a finish. Diego cranks on Stardust’s arm to start before it’s quickly off to Miz vs. Fernando. Mizdow is doing the exact same things on the floor as he’s known to do. Miz gets slammed off the top, so Mizdow goes up top and flips himself off for good measure. The fans want Mizdow to come in but Miz isn’t quite ready for the tag yet.

Instead it’s off to Jimmy for some armdrags on Fernando before it’s quickly off to Jey for some chops. Stardust low bridges Jey to the floor and the champs take over in the corner. The fans still want Mizdow but get the drop down uppercut from Stardust instead. Jey tries a sunset flip but Miz tags himself in to take over. Jey falls into the corner for a tag to Diego as this is almost impossible to keep up with. The Backstabber gets two on Miz but he comes right back with a clothesline to Diego.

Miz takes him into the corner and still won’t tag Damien. The running clothesline in the corner is finally enough to make him tag Mizdow but Goldust tags himself in before Damien can do anything. Diego and Goldust trade rollups until Diego is sent into the corner for some double teaming by the champions. Stardust comes in to crank on the arms before scoring with a clothesline. He tells the fans they want him instead of Mizdow before he sends Diego out to the floor.

Goldust scores with a clothesline on the floor before throwing him back inside for a chinlock. Stardust goes up for a sunset flip on Goldust who is holding Diego in a German suplex for a big catapult spot. Diego sends him to the apron but Stardust shoves Fernando into the post. Back in and Diego counters what looked to be a tombstone attempt into a spinning DDT to drop Stardust.

It’s off to Jimmy vs. Goldust with the Samoan taking over before tagging in Jey for the running Umaga attack in the corner. A bunch of superkicks drop Stardust but Diego breaks up the double dive. Goldust powerslam Jimmy for two but Jey nails him with an enziguri. Now the Usos hit the double dive but Stardust hits the Falling Star onto both of them.

Fernando launches Torito onto everyone before Diego dives onto everyone plus the bull. Goldust breaks up Fernando’s dive as Diego gets back in. All four go up for a big Tower of Doom with Fernando taking the worst of it. Jimmy comes in with the Superfly Splash but Miz sends Jimmy into the post. Mizdow tags himself in and pins Fernando for the pin and the titles at 15:25.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and the absolutely right call, but they needed to cut some time out of this. This was the kind of match where it was clear that they were just trying to fill in time and those things get old in a hurry. It took awhile to get going but it was solid once it sped up. Mizdow getting the pin is the perfect ending too.

Miz celebrates with both belts.

Vince McMahon and Steve Austin will be doing a live Steve Austin Show next Monday after Raw.

Adam Rose and the Bunny are in the back with the Exotic Express. They’re going to settle their differences by playing with the latest WWE toys. Rose reminds the Bunny where he was before Rose found him. The Bunny wins in about five seconds so Titus O’Neil and Heath Slater come in to laugh at Rose. Adam says the Bunny worships him and a tag match is made for later. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!”

Paige/Cameron/Summer Rae/Layla vs. Emma/Natalya/Alicia Fox/Naomi

Elimination tag. Natalya and Paige get things going and we already have a Nattie’s Husband chant. Paige is quickly sent to the floor as we get the required Cheesy/Sleazy/Queasy reference. Lawler even gets the year wrong. Paige sends Natalya into the corner so it’s off to Layla vs. Emma. They trade rollups with Emma being rather clumsy, allowing Layla to roll her up for two.

Emma gets caught in the heel corner and stomped by Paige a bit. Paige spends a lot of time trash talking though and takes a HARD forearm to the head. They head to the top with Emma hitting a nice superplex but Paige is right next to the corner for a tag to Cameron. The screeching begins and Cameron can barely slap Emma right. The fans want Mizdow again as Emma gets two off a backslide.

Naomi tags herself in and kicks Cameron across the ring. A cross body gets no cover but a Stunner of all things gets two on Cameron. Everything breaks down and everyone nails everyone else until Cameron hits a horrible bulldog on Natalya, only to have Naomi hook a nice bridging rollup to eliminate Cameron. Summer comes in but runs from a kick to the face. Naomi kicks her anyway but gets pulled down by the hair. Back up and Summer knocks all of her opponents off the apron, only to have Fox come in and run her over a few times.

Fox cross bodies Paige and loads up a dive to the floor but all of her opponents back up. Summer gets in, gets screamed at, and tags out to Layla. The Brit (Layla) laughs at Fox for climbing down a second ago and gets smacked in the face. A northern lights suplex gets two on Layla but she comes back with her bouncing cross body.

Fox nails a quick backbreaker and it’s 4-2. Paige comes in for some cheap shots but it’s quickly off to Natalya vs. Summer. Natalya runs her over with a discus lariat and a low dropkick but Paige trips her up from the floor. Summer gets in some cheap shots on the apron but stops to mock Paige, only to have Paige knock her off the apron.

It’s off to Emma vs. Summer with Emma hooking the Dilemma (Tarantula) for a few seconds. The Emma Sandwich (cross body in the corner) sets up the Emma Lock (bridging Indian Deathlock) to make Summer tap. It’s Paige vs. all four opponents and the fans are completely in her corner. Paige tries to leave but Emma catches her like she stole something. That’s not cool with Paige who runs Emma over but it’s quickly off to Natalya, who promptly eats a boot to the face. Naomi comes in with the Rear View and a headscissors faceplant to FINALLY end this at 14:16.

Rating: D-. This was terrible as they were clearly just filling time and had almost no business being on a show this big. The girls were mostly sloppy with Cameron being as close to a disaster as you can get. They would have been much better off just having Naomi vs. Paige but why do that when you can get eight Divas out there to ruin a match?

We recap Fandango’s return and Bad News Barrett’s speech from the pre-show.

The expert panel of Booker T., Paul Heyman and Alex Riley talk about the new stipulations for the main event.

We recap Ambrose vs. Wyatt. Bray Wyatt cost Ambrose his match inside the Cell and started talking about Dean’s childhood where he was abandoned by his father and forced to live a hard life. Dean basically said he wanted to hurt Wyatt and that’s about it.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Dean drives him into the corner to start and hammers away with right hands and kicks to the gut. Wyatt comes back with a right hand of his own and they head outside with Dean hitting a nice running forearm off the apron. Back in and Bray takes him down with the running cross body for two as things slow down a bit. They head outside again with Dean going up, only to dive into a right hand to put him down again. Bray stomps Dean’s hands on the steps before taking him back inside for two.

We hit a full nelson on the mat but Dean bites the fingers to escape. That’s fine with Bray who just runs Ambrose over again. They head outside yet again for a double clothesline before slowly crawling back inside. Dean hammers away with forearms to the head and some running elbows before doing Bray’s upside down pose in the corner. Dirty Deeds is broken up but Dean has to counter Sister Abigail into a rollup for two.

With Bray’s feet on the ropes, Dean ties the arms into the ropes for a running dropkick, followed by a legdrop to the back of the head for two. Back up and a big slam gets two for Bray but he misses a middle rope backsplash. Ambrose goes up top and connects with a top rope elbow, even though Bray was standing up. That’s a new one.

Bray gets up and knocks Dean’s head off with a clothesline, sending Ambrose out to the floor. The release Rock Bottom puts Dean onto the steps but Ambrose somehow kicks out. Bray heads back outside and grabs the mic. He asks Dean why he’s doing this and shouts that it didn’t have to be like this.

They could have ruled the world together and there’s nothing anyone back there could do to touch them. Ambrose has chosen his path and there’s a microphone shot to the head. Bray finds some chairs under the ring but Dean takes one away. Wyatt drops to his knees like he did to Cena at Wrestlemania and Dean nails him in the ribs for the DQ at 14:00.

Rating: B-. This took its time to get going but turned into a violent brawl after awhile. They’re clearly setting up something else for this feud and I’m glad they didn’t give it a clean ending here. Ambrose is much more of a monster than Cena was going to be so the ending makes sense here. These two in a wild brawl could work really well.

Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds onto the chair and loads Bray on a table. A top rope elbow puts both guys through the wood but Dean isn’t done. He puts another table on top of Bray and covers it up with chairs. With Wyatt not moving, Ambrose pulls out a ladder. He climbs on top of it….and stands there as his music plays. Dean climbs down and teases shoving the ladder onto Bray but referees stop him.

HHH and Stephanie give Team Authority a long pep talk. The gist of it is if they lose, the team’s lives will be destroyed.

Slater Gator vs. Adam Rose/The Bunny

The Bunny starts but Rose tags in before anything happens. Slater kicks Adam’s head off to start before it’s off to Titus for some throws into the corner. Adam dives over for the tag to the Bunny as the announcers make rabbit jokes. With Adam demanding a tag, the Bunny hits a middle rope dropkick for the pin on Slater at 2:25.

Roman Reigns is here via satellite and says he’s getting better every single day. He’d rather be here with us and asks the fans if they want to know what he’d do if here were there. Reigns would cock back his fist and make it reign in the arena. JBL says Reigns isn’t here but Seth Rollins is here in the main event. How would Reigns feel if Team Authority won. Reigns calls that a stupid question as he threw a cinder block at Seth’s head. It doesn’t matter what happens tonight because in a month, either team might be out, but he’ll be back at that time.

Team Cena is in the back and they all know what they signed up for. Well we’re assuming Rowan does as he’s playing with a Rubik’s Cube. Cena says there’s one thing left to do when Rowan stands up and says win.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

AJ is defending and Nikki has her sister Brie as an assistant. We get big match intros and Brie gets up on the apron with with title in her hand. She kisses AJ, allowing Nikki to get in a cheap shot and the Rack Attack gives us a new champ at 38 seconds in the Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan ending from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Indeed, the Bellas are back together.

We recap Ambrose vs. Wyatt, who will be in a TLC match three weeks from tonight.

Long recap of the main event. I’m assuming you get the idea by this point.

Team Cena vs. Team Authority

John Cena, Ryback, Erick Rowan, Big Show, Dolph Ziggler

Seth Rollins, Kane, Luke Harper, Rusev, Mark Henry

Rusev is US Champion and Harper is Intercontinental Champion. The Authority and Stooges are at ringside of course. Henry and Big Show get things going with Mark shouting that he’s going to hurt everyone. HHH and Stephanie stay on the apron for support but Henry charges right into the KO Punch to make it 5-4 in less than a minute. Harper drops to the floor and tries to sneak up on Show but it’s a decoy for Rollins to come in from behind. HHH is dejected and sitting in a chair with his tie off.

Rollins has exactly as much luck against Show as you would expect and it’s off to Kane. Show sends him into the corner and it’s Cena in to hammer away. A dropkick puts Kane down so he tags in Harper, who gets to face Rowan. The fans are behind Erick but we’re not quite ready yet as Seth tags himself in. That’s fine with Rowan who hammers away in the corner and crushes him with a splash. A slam plants Rollins and it’s off to Ryback for a back drop.

Harper comes in and takes a delayed vertical suplex so it’s quickly off to Kane. Ryback Thesz presses him down and gets two off a splash. We get a showdown between Ryback and Rusev with the champ quickly getting slammed down. There’s the Meat Hook but Rusev escapes the Shell Shock and sends Ryback into a boot from Kane. Everything breaks down and it’s a huge brawl with Rollins hitting the Curb Stomp on Ryback. The running superkick from Rusev is enough to eliminate Ryback and tie things up.

Things settle down and it’s Rusev vs. Big Show, because this has gone so well for the giant recently. It’s quickly off to Harper who gets thrown around the corner, only to come back with a dropkick to put Show down. Rollins comes in for some cheap shots before it’s off to Kane for a bunch of stomps. Back to Harper for the Gator Roll before we hit the chinlock. Show fights up and makes the tag to Ziggler as things speed up. Dolph nails Rollins off the apron but charges into the sitout Boss Man Slam for two.

The Authority takes over on Ziggler with Rusev throwing him down for two. Off to Kane for the side slam and big boot for two each. Rusev comes in again to talk Russian trash but Dolph comes back with right hands to the head. Rollins takes him back down again and the slow destruction continues. A release Downward Spiral into the corner gets two on Dolph and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Rusev who runs into the DDT for two but Harper makes the save. Cena comes in with an AA to Harper but Kane chokeslams him. Show chokeslams Kane but Rollins takes him down with the springboard knee. Rowan backdrops Seth onto everyone else but Rusev nails him with a spinwheel kick. Ziggler’s Fameasser to Rusev is countered and Rusev throws him onto about six people at ringside. Rusev loads up the announcers’ table and sets Ziggler for a splash but Dolph moves, sending Rusev crashing through the wood. Only Ziggler beats the count and we’re down to 4-3. That’s one of the only ways to get rid of Rusev.

Back in and Cena gets the hot tag to go after Kane with the usual. The AA connects but Rollins nails a quick Curb Stomp. The referee is totally fine with all of this as Cole is losing his mind. The double tag brings in Harper and Rowan for the showdown we’ve been waiting to see for DAYS. Rowan cleans house and nails a spin kick on Harper but everything breaks down again. Rollins comes in for another Curb Stomp to Rowan, setting up the discus lariat from Harper to tie things up.

We’re down to Show/Cena/Ziggler vs. Kane/Rollins/Harper. We get the showdown and Show turns heel by knocking out Cena….FOR A PIN??? Cena is out and we’re down to 3-2. Show shakes HHH’s hand and walks out, effectively making it 3-1. The fans want Orton as Cena wakes up and realizes what’s going on. Stephanie shouts “OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAH” and fails at having any sort of rhythm.

Ziggler gets thrown into the barricade by Kane for two back inside. Off to Harper as Cena has left like he’s supposed to. Rollins comes in a few seconds later and takes Ziggler to the corner, telling him to tag his partners. Back to Kane as the domination continues. Kane loads up a superplex but gets shoved down and cross bodied for two. The superkick and Zig Zag take out Kane and it’s 2-1.

Harper comes in and kicks Dolph’s head off, knocking him out to the floor. A big suicide dive takes Dolph out again as Cole is cheering for Ziggler more than he ever did for Miz. Harper brings Dolph back inside for a superkick but Dolph kicks out again. A Batista Bomb gets the same and Harper is getting frustrated. Dolph grabs a rollup out of nowhere (and a handful of jeans) to tie things up. That probably gets him a rematch for the title at TLC as well.

It’s Rollins vs. Ziggler and Seth comes in to stomp away. He throws Dolph to the floor and into the barricade as Ziggler is on fumes. Back in and Ziggler grabs a small package for two and a quick DDT gets the same. The fans are WAY into these near falls. HHH is losing his mind at ringside as Rollins just lays in right hands to the head. Seth goes up but Ziggler runs the corner, only to get shoved down. A super Curb Stomp misses and the Fameasser gets an even closer two.

The Zig Zag is countered but the Stooges offer a distraction. The second attempt connects on Rollins but HHH takes the referee out. Now the Stooges come in for the beatdown but they screw up as only Stooges can. Ziggler throws Mercury into Stephanie, knocking her into her husband. The Buckle Bomb is countered and the Zig Zag connects. A second referee comes in for the count but HHH breaks it up AGAIN.

He hammers on Dolph and nails a huge clothesline before planing Ziggler with a Pedigree. Rollins is laid on top as referee #3 (crooked Scott Armstrong) comes out……BUT WE HAVE STING! He slowly walks out and nails Armstrong before staring down HHH. The fans find this awesome as they circle each other very slowly. HHH swings but Sting lays him out with the Death Drop. Ziggler and Rollins (who hasn’t moved an inch for about eight minutes after a single Zig Zag) are still down but Sting throws Ziggler on top of him for the pin at 42:08.

Rating: B+. Sting just debuted. You think ANY of the rest of this matters?

Ok for the sake of covering it: the match wasn’t great but they had me freaking out at the end with those near falls and then the crow sounding to have Sting come out. Above all but one thing (which should be obvious), this was about Ziggler instead of Cena, who wasn’t out there for the last fifteen minutes or so. This is the biggest rub Ziggler has ever had and the question now is where he goes with it. That’s a great way to end a show and one heck of a rub.

Cena comes out to hug Ziggler and help him to the back. The fans sing the Goodbye Song to the Authority as Stephanie shouts that THIS IS NOT OVER as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. That main event and the surprise bring this WAY up as this was looking to be one of the worst shows in a long time until the main event. It’s the definition of a one match show (mostly at least) but just like many a Royal Rumble before it, that one match dragged the show up. It’s a rare thing that I can feel my heart beating at the end of a match but that’s exactly what happened during that last sequence. Awesome ending to a bad show.

Results

Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Usos, Los Matadores and Goldust/Stardust – Mizdow pinned Fernando after a Superfly Splash from Jimmy

Naomi/Natalya/Alicia Fox/Emma b. Cameron/Layla/Summer Rae/Paige – Headscissors faceplant to Paige

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose used a chair

Adam Rose/The Bunny b. Slater Gator – Middle rope dropkick to Slater

Nikki Bella b. AJ Lee – Rack Attack

Team Cena b. Team Authority – Zig Zag to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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It’s time for this months pa…..you don’t actually have to pay for this, unless you pay for the Network every month. However, this is as one note of a show as you can find as the entire show is about Team Cena vs. Team Authority and the rest is barely mentioned. Even after Raw there were only four matches announced with a bonus being added later in the week. This show is going to be all about the main event which is usually a bad idea. Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the preshow with the new and improved Fandango facing someone to be announced. I have a feeling this is a way to have a big name return against him and beat him, which would be more entertaining. Fandango stopped meaning anything after he didn’t win the Intercontinental Title so I don’t see this meaning anything.

I’ll go in reverse order this time so you might have a reason to keep reading.

Miz and Mizdow need the titles at this point as there’s no reason to not capitalize on Mizdow any longer. He has a short shelf life so giving him a Tag Team Title is about as good as you can ask for from him.

The Bellas get the Divas Title because it’s been a whole month since this stupid personal servant thing started and about three weeks since it meant anything. The sisters seem totally fine with each other anymore and I think we’re setting up a Bellas reunion as a season finale of Total Divas, making the last few months completely pointless. AJ doesn’t need the belt anymore, though to be fair I don’t need the Bellas anymore in general.

Paige, Cameron, Layla and Summer to win the elimination tag in a match that means even less than it seems to.

Bray vs. Dean is one of those matches where it’s a coin flip. Bray needs the win to rebuild himself and Dean has basically been thrown in a freezer since the Cell. The story is good but they need to actually go somewhere with it instead of just saying vague things about Ambrose’s dad causing him all this emotional damage. I can’t imagine this has a clean finish and I’d assume we’re seeing a gimmicky match next month.

That brings us to the main event, which is more along the lines of what kind of swerves we get. The possibilities range from someone turning on Cena to HHH offering immunity to a member of Team Cena to HHH having to step into the match himself and probably a lot more than that. I still think Orton returns and completes his face turn, likely setting up a showdown with Rollins, perhaps for the briefcase and then a feud with Lesnar. Or maybe I’m just wishful.

As for the match itself, I can’t imagine it winds up with anyone but Cena at the end, triumphing over the Authority and winning the day. While this could be a great chance to give someone else a rub, it doesn’t seem like that’s something that’s likely to happen. Rusev isn’t going to get pinned and odds are Ziggler or Rowan pins Harper to set up a match for the title later on. At the end though, it’s probably Cena pinning either HHH or Rollins to free the company from the Authority.

As for the big name rumored to make an appearance, as I’ve said millions of times, I’ll believe it when I see it. If he shows up here to plug the game and that’s the last we see of him, it’s like Dolph Ziggler’s 45 minute title reign a few years back: yeah it happened, but it’s a cheap way to check something off a list.

Overall Survivor Series really isn’t doing it for me, though the main event should be fun. There’s almost bound to be something extra added to the card, with Rose vs. the Bunny as a possibility. Of course they could add a third elimination tag without too much effort, but I can’t imagine they’ll actually do that at SURVIVOR SERIES.

Survivor Series 2013
Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before the 2014 edition and for the most part I have no idea what happens here. If I remember right it’s something about Orton and then Reigns destroying a bunch of people. It kind of amazes me how easy the last year is to forget while I could snap off the main event of almost every PPV 2005 or so. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi won’t shake hands to start but eventually gives in after a few seconds. Kingston tries to speed things up with his leapfrogs before a crucifix gets two. A backslide gets two more but Kofi charges into an atomic drop. Both guys miss finishers but Kofi kicks him in the face and clotheslines him out to the floor. There’s a suicide dive for good measure and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock for a change but Miz fights up with a big boot to take over.

Another boot to the face gets two and Miz puts on a chinlock. Back up and Kofi hits a quick standing double stomp before speeding things up with his dropkicks. There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. SOS connects for two and a high cross body gets the same as Miz is reeling. Kofi kicks him in the chest a few times before countering a Skull Crushing Finale attempt into a rollup, only to have Miz counter into a rollup of his own for the pin.

Rating: C. Nice match here as Kofi kept things moving until Miz finally caught him going for one too many big moves. Kingston is a guy that can move around as fast as anyone else and put on an entertaining match with almost anyone. Miz was looking sharp here too, even though I’d like him to drop that Figure Four nonsense. It didn’t work for him then and it still doesn’t today.

The show itself opens with HHH and Stephanie rather than an opening video. They guarantee no physical interference in any match tonight. Not a single one. Assuming Boston is ready, here’s the opening match.

After an opening video about the flame of survival in us all that is. As usual this transitions into a video about the main events.

Rey Mysterio/Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Usos vs. Shield/Real Americans

Elimination match of course. This is Mysterio’s return from yet another injury. Ambrose is US Champion and Cody and Goldust are Tag Team Champions, having taken the belts from Reigns and Rollins recently. Before the match, Colter rips on Americans for Twerking and even gives us a demonstration. David Ortiz gets insulted a bit as well until Cody Rhodes cuts him off and Twerks a bit as well.

Rhodes and Ambrose get things going with Rhodes nailing him with a right hand. Dean comes back with a clothesline but argues with the referee, allowing Cody to roll him up for a quick elimination. Everything breaks down for a bit with the Usos nailing all four remaining opponents. Each Uso dives on a team and the good guys are in full control.

We settle down to Cody suplexing Seth for two. Off to Goldust to a huge reaction but Swagger comes in off a blind tag and runs Goldust over. Cesaro snaps Goldust’s arm over the top rope before coming in to work on the ribs. Swagger gets two off a powerslam as Cole screws up Survivor Series history, saying that Andre won the first Survivor Series match (it was the first main event). Cesaro jumps over Swagger’s shoulders for a double stomp and slaps on a chinlock.

Back up and Goldust grabs a DDT to put both guys down. Goldust has to elbow all of his opponents before hitting a sunset bomb on Cesaro, only to have Swagger come in first. The Vader Bomb hits raised boots though and the hot tag brings in Mysterio. A quick 619 sets up a superkick from Jimmy and the Superfly Splash from Jey to make it 5-3.

Cesaro comes in immediately with Swiss Death for two on Jey. Both Usos get Swung and Cesaro is the most over person in the match. His reward: a sunset from Cody for another elimination. It’s Reigns in now to run over Jey and stomp away in the corner. Rollins comes in with an elbow for two before it’s back to Reigns to work on the arm. Cole mistakenly says the Shield has developed rivalries over the years but JBL points out that they’ve only been around a year. Cole: “Well you know what I mean.” JBL: “No not really.”

Jey finally gets over for the hot tag to Jimmy who takes Reigns down with a Samoan drop. The running Umaga attack gets two but Roman blocks the splash with his knees and nails the spear to make it 4-2. Cody comes in with a missile dropkick to Rollins as things speed up. The moonsault press gets two but the Disaster Kick is caught in midair. Rollins gets countered into Cross Rhodes but makes a blind tag, allowing Reigns to spear Cody for the elimination.

Jey sends Reigns into the barricade but misses a high cross body back inside. Rollins makes another quick tag to come in for a Curb Stomp and it’s down to Mysterio/Goldust vs. Reigns/Rollins. Rey is quickly taken down by Rollins but he comes back with a kick to the head for two. The advantage is short lived though as Rey gets tied in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick to the ribs. Reigns throws him out to the floor with ease but the spear hits the post by mistake.

It’s quickly back to Rollins who dropkicks Goldust off the apron, only to get caught in a rollup for a fast pin. It’s Reigns vs. Goldust/Mysterio but Seth gets in some cheap shots on Mysterio before he leaves. Rey sends a charging Reigns into the buckle and tags in Goldust to clean house. A spinebuster plants Reigns and Goldust hammers away in the corner. Goldust nails a powerslam and spinning cross body for two each but a bulldog is countered into a spear for another pin. So it’s Mysterio vs. Reigns and the 619 is broken up with a huge spear to give Reigns the pin.

Rating: C. The match was boring to start but picked up a lot when Reigns was unleashed. This was the star making performance that started Reigns’ push to the moon which would be driven even higher when he broke the elimination record in the Royal Rumble. The match itself wasn’t much to see but those spears looked great.

HHH, Kane and Stephanie are in the back when Orton comes in. He wants to make sure everyone is on the same page after he demanded respect from the Authority on Monday. HHH wants to know if that’s just making sure everything is ok or if Orton is asking them to save him tonight. We get the usual Face of the WWE speech but Stephanie tells him to go prove it.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. Langston vs. Curtis Axel

Langston took the title from Axel on Monday and this is the rematch. Axel puts on a headlock but gets taken down with pure power. With that not working, Curtis starts going after the arm for almost the same result. Big E. busts out a leapfrog before just running Axel over. A running splash in the corner crushes Axel again and a clothesline gets two.

They head outside for a few seconds with Axel knocking Langston off the apron to get his first advantage. Back in and Curtis puts on a chinlock before Langston fights up with a big belly to belly. The Warrior Splash connects but Axel grabs a quick PerfectPlex for two. Back up and the Big Ending retain the title with ease.

Rating: D+. This was far less of a match and more of a formality. Langston was getting a solid push around this time until they suddenly pulled the plug on him. Axel has the same result, though at least he got to be in a tag team. Hopefully Langston can get somewhere with the New Day stuff but I won’t get my hopes up.

Post match Big E. talks about being in Boston but doesn’t want to look like he’s pandering to the people here in Boston. However, this feels like when the Boston Red Sox won the World Series.

AJ gives the True Divas a big pep talk but they don’t buy into it. Rosa Mendes: “Do you think you’re better than all of us.” AJ: “Yes?” Kaitlyn goes on a rant about all the horrible things AJ has done but AJ says this is about Total Divas not wanting any of them. The champ’s (AJ) advice for the night: start your own show by stealing this one.

Total Divas vs. True Divas

Total Divas: Bella Twins, Natalya, Funkadactyls, Jojo, Eva Marie

True Divas: AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Summer Rae, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Aksana, Kaitlyn

Elimination tag and let’s get this over with. Fox works over Naomi in the corner to start and slams her down for one. She puts Naomi on top but gets elbowed down, setting up a split legged moonsault to get rid of Fox. Rosa comes in and avoids the Rear View before it’s off to Cameron. This can’t go well. A double split legdrop from the Funkadactyls gets two on Mendes as we hear about the Total Divas having personalities.

Rosa sends a charging Cameron into the middle buckle for a pin. Mendes dances but turns into a Bella Buster from Nikki for another elimination. Summer comes in wearing orange and blue for a dance off with Nikki. Summer does the splits and gets dropkicked to make it 6-4 for the Total Divas. Eva Marie comes in and is booed out of the building. Kaitlyn doesn’t like her either and ends her with a quick gutbuster to make it 5-4. Naomi comes in but takes a gutbuster of her own for the pin. Tied at four now with Brie throwing Kaitlyn down for two.

Kaitlyn misses a spear and gets caught by a bad looking missile dropkick for another pin. I’m not leaving out anything on play by play here. These falls are just going that fast. AJ kicks Brie from behind, allowing Aksana to hit a bad spinebuster to eliminate Brie. A Rack Attack ends Aksana about 10 seconds later and we’re down to AJ/Tamina vs. Nikki/Natalya/Jojo. Tamina comes in to lay Nikki out with headbutts and Nikki is nice enough to smile through half of the beating.

Nikki gets thrown into Natalya and it’s off to Jojo, who has almost no in ring experience. Jojo nails a quick cross body and a rollup gets two before Tamina just kicks her head off. A Samoan drop plants Jojo and AJ comes in for the pin. The announcers say it’s 2-1 because Nikki Bella is that forgettable. Tamina charges into Natalya in the corner but misses the Superfly Splash, allowing Natalya to hook the Sharpshooter for the elimination. AJ comes in and gets nailed by Nikki because she wasn’t eliminated, setting up another Sharpshooter so the Total Divas can win.

Rating: F. This won Worst Match of the Year and it’s really easy to see why. It was clear that they had no idea how to do more than a few spots and had to fly through this match as fast as they could. I can’t stand these messes but the fans hating Eva Marie made up for it a bit. In case this wasn’t enough for you, there was a REMATCH the next night!

Orton asks referee Charles Robinson to help him out tonight but Robinson says he’ll do what the Authority told him to do.

Expert panel time but Ryback’s music cuts them off. Ryback says his favorite Survivor Series memory is shutting up all those old timers. He can intimidate anyone here but that doesn’t make him a bully. It’s open challenge time so let’s have a Wrestlemania rematch.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

This is another return for Henry. They fight over a lockup to start and Ryback talks even more trash. Henry casually shoves him across the ring so Ryback goes after the knee for two. Ryback slams him down but misses a charge into the post. Maybe the GOLDBERG chants messed with his head. Mark gets down on all fours for some JYD headbutts before a powerslam gets two. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered into a spinebuster and Ryback takes down the straps. Ryback’s Meat Hook is countered with a cross body and now the World’s Strongest Slam is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I can’t remember the last time I saw such a worthless set of back to back matches. Henry looked fatter than ever and Ryback’s collapse continues. At the end of the day the guy has come back so many times that it’s really hard to care. The fact that he’s anything but the Hall of Pain era Henry makes things even worse.

We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Cena had to leave due to a bad arm but came back to take the World Heavyweight Championship from Del Rio like the main event jobber that he was. This is the rematch and Del Rio is going after the arm. Of course.

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cena is the defending hometown boy so the split chants begin. They fight over a headlock to start until Del hiptosses him down for a headlock and some of the most obvious spot calls I’ve ever seen. Back up and Del Rio steps on Cena’s head before a snap suplex gets two. Cena powers out of an armbar but Del Rio sends him outside and into the steps. They head back inside and the arm work continues along with the slow pace.

Cena fights up again but misses a charge into the buckle to keep Del Rio in control. Alberto avoids a shoulder block and Cena falls outside again so Del Rio can stay on the arm. A clothesline gets two on the champ and we hit another armbar. Del Rio talks about doing two things to Cena because he’s really bad at spot calling. Cena powers up again and hits a clothesline, only to walk into a Backstabber for two.

Alberto goes up but dives into a dropkick to put both guys down again. Back up and the ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Cena takes too long, allowing Del Rio to score with a DDT. Alberto misses a charge of his own though and both guys are down again. The champ’s finishing sequence is countered yet again into a German suplex so he opts for a tornado DDT for two. The enziguri knocks Cena off the top and the dueling chants begin again.

Del Rio puts him in the Tree of Woe but his charge hits the post by mistake. There’s the top rope Fameasser for two and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same for Del Rio. Alberto calls for the cross armbreaker and gets a huge SI chant. Cena rolls through into the STF though, sending Del Rio rolling over to the ropes. The low superkick gets two on John and his belly to back neckbreaker gets the same for the champ. Cena’s cross body is countered into the armbreaker but he counters up into a powerbomb. Back up and the AA retains Cena’s title.

Rating: B. Del Rio is basically the new Chris Jericho: he’ll win the title every now and then, but he’s little more than cannon fodder for Cena. I have no reason to believe that Cena is going to tap out to the armbreaker and every time Del Rio went for the hold it felt like a waste of time. Alberto’s style makes perfect sense for him, but it’s a waste of time against Cena. The match was good, but the ending was never once in doubt.

Santino and Truth play with toys, only to be joined by Los Matadores, El Torito, Fandango and Johnny Ace.

We recap the Wyatts vs. Bryan/Punk. Bray saw both of them as heroes that needed to be destroyed so he crushed Bryan’s head and went after Punk in general. Bryan came out for the save and we’ve got a tag match. The tag line makes it a bit better: the Wyatts vs. the Beard/the Best.

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family

Bray holds up the lantern and says Abigail told him Punk and Bryan would be tough as nails. She was right. Bryan kicks at Rowan’s leg to start and is quickly shoved down. More kicks to the leg send Rowan into the good corner for a tag from Punk. The fans are very pleased with the tattooed hero but Erick drives him into the other corner to take over. Off to Harper as the Family starts taking turns working over Punk’s ribs.

Rowan slaps on a bearhug but Punk slips out of a suplex and tags in Bryan. Their combined forces can’t suplex Rowan though so he sends both guys flying at the same time. Things settle down until Punk and Bryan start kicking away in the corner and now they can suplex Rowan down. Naturally the announcers are debating if Rowan is like Michael Myers or not.

Back to Harper but Punk easily drives him back into the corner as well. A double dropkick sets up Bryan’s YES Kicks and we go old school with a Hart Attack for two. Punk gets distracted by Erick though, allowing Harper to kick Punk’s head off and tag in the other freak. A backbreaker gets two for Rowan and it’s back to Luke for the Gator Roll. Rowan starts talking to the mask on the post as Luke gets two off the Michinoku Driver.

Rowan comes back in and charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a tornado DDT (way too common a move anymore). There’s the hot tag to Bryan who comes in with all of his usual stuff. Luke gets kicked to the floor for the FLYING GOAT. Back in and the missile dropkick gets two but the big YES Kick is caught in a powerbomb. Bryan counters into a hurricanrana but Luke counters it’s top rope cousin into a super sitout powerbomb for a very close two.

Everything breaks down and Rowan throws Punk out to the floor. A splash gets two on Bryan as things settle back down. Harper runs Bryan over and chokes with the boot before catapulting him throat first into the rope. Daniel fights back until Erick catches him in a half nelson suplex. The monster gets too confident though and goes after Punk, only to get kicked in the head. The hot tag brings in Punk to clean house again but he dives on Rowan and Wyatt instead of Harper. Back in and the top rope elbow gets two on Luke but Rowan breaks up the GTS. That earns him a running knee and the GTS ends Harper.

Rating: B-. The fans thought it was awesome but it never got past solid for me. Bryan and Punk are the kind of super team that you put in there to fight monsters like these, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter until they fight the master himself. At least Harper and Rowan are still good enough to have a good match and look like real threats.

Bray teases getting in but backs down as you would expect.

Cena is getting his arm looked at with the Authority next to him. Orton comes in and isn’t pleased so Cena leaves them to their chat.

We recap Big Show vs. Randy Orton. Big Show was basically blackmailed into being the Authority’s monster until lawsuits were threatened and Big Show was given anything he wanted. Rather than money, job security, or a piece of the WWE, he wanted a single WWE Title shot. This went on for months and felt like it would never end, setting up a match that no one wanted to see.

WWE Title: Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Champion Orton immediately bails to the floor before going back in and getting shoved out again. Randy heads back in again and takes one of the loudest chops I’ve ever heard. Show tries to claw Orton up from the floor but gets his throat snapped across the top rope. A big shoulder gives Show two but Orton finally scores with a dropkick.

We hit the front facelock as the crowd goes silent again. Instead Orton shifts to a horrible sleeper until Show suplexes him down. Orton rolls outside to avoid a chokeslam so Show sends him into the steps. Back in and Show tries to go up for some reason, allowing the champ to crotch him down and nail the Elevated DDT. He takes too long setting up the RKO though and eats a chokeslam for two.

Show loads up the KO but Orton bails outside, bumping into the referee’s knee in the process. They head into the crowd to keep up the beating, including a KO Punch to knock Orton silly on the floor. We’re about to have a new champion and of course here’s the Authority. The distraction lets Orton nail an RKO, setting up a Punt to retain the title.

Rating: D. This is basically poor man’s version of Del Rio vs. Cena. The ending was never in doubt as there was no way they were putting the belt on Show, but the match was really dull and boring throughout. This was the culmination of a terribly dull story and thankfully they moved on to anything better, like Cena vs. Orton. That’s a fresh idea right?

Orton celebrates but Cena comes out and holds up his own belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was a rollercoaster. The first part was just kind of there, then it went straight down, then up for Cena/Bryan/Punk, then down through a hole for the finish. October/November is just a horrible time for the company every year and this is probably the low point for the Survivor Series. There are far worse shows, but man alive this show felt worthless. It’s just not an interesting show and felt like it could have been any given B show rather than the second longest PPV ever. That’s a bad sign for a show this important.

Ratings Comparison

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Original:B-

Redo: C

Real Americans/Shield vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos

Original:B-

Redo: C

Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

Original:D+

Redo: D+

Total Divas vs. True Divas

Original:D-

Redo: F

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Original:D

Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Original:D+

Redo: B

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

Original:B

Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Original:D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original:D+

Redo: C-

Dang I hated Del Rio back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/11/24/survivor-series-2013-they-had-me-for-a-bit/

That’s it for Survivor Series and you can tell WWE has thought the same for years. The show hasn’t felt important in a long time with almost no major matches, save for maybe the Rock’s in ring return, even though that was just a warmup for the real match. I still love the idea and tradition of the show, but it’s been too long since we’ve had an elimination tag that matters.

Now that’s going to be remedied in 2014 so maybe there’s some hope, but the last few years haven’t been kind to the show. That doesn’t change the fact that the older shows rock and are definitely worth checking out if you want to see a lot of the roster on the same show and about five matches rolled into one. It’s a good series, but anymore it’s really just one of the Big Four because it came so early.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

I don’t remember much about this show and I think that says a lot about it. The main event is a triple threat with Punk defending against Cena and Ryback because WWE loves their three way matches. The original main event was going to be Team Punk vs. Team Foley in a Survivor Series match but WWE realized no one would pay to see that, so the new main events were made. Team Punk was replaced by Team Ziggler, despite the two of them having no real animosity at all. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: 3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

It’s Slater and Mahal here. Ryder starts with Mahal as Matt Striker rips Ryder on commentary. Mahal takes him down with a shoulder block but gets caught in an armdrag. Off to Santino who works on a headlock before it’s off to Slater for another armdrag. Ryder comes back in as the announcers talk about Halloween a good three weeks since it’s been over. McIntyre holds Slater’s belt from the floor to avoids Santino’s dropkick. Tag off to the fun one of the Band (meaning Mahal if that’s not clear) who gets two off a knee drop.

Back to Slater for some shots in the corner but he gives up the hot tag to Santino for all his usual antics. Heath punches him down and brings Jinder in again for some knee drops off the ropes. Santino misses a double clothesline which gives Slater another near fall. The Band stays on Marella but he backdrops Mahal down, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Ryder. The Broski Boot connects and everything breaks down. A Rough Ryder connects on Slater but the legal Mahal sneaks in with a full nelson slam for the pin on Zack.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see. It isn’t a bad match or anything but how good can a match be when 3MB is getting a clean pin? That’s not exactly a match that’s going to light the world on fire. Also, you’re trying to get a crowd going for a show, you have Santino Marella, and he doesn’t get the hot tag? Really?

The opening video talks about the history that has taken place at this show, ranging from Undertaker and Rock debuting, Montreal, and Rock and Cena teaming up for the first time ever. We then shift over to the main event hype videos you would expect, focusing on the world title matches and….nothing else. Seriously Foley vs. Ziggler isn’t mentioned here at all. There is a nice idea of Punk surviving as champion at various amounts of days into his reign.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio

Tensai, Primo, Epico, Prime Time Players

This is a bonus match to fill out the card. Nothing wrong with that at all. Apparently this is the debut of the three man booth so we’re getting a bit of history here. Why anyone would care about that is beyond me but I need something to talk about during these long entrances. This was also back when Tensai was all evil but was a total joke by this point, just as he had been all along. If nothing else we get to see Rosa Mendes with black hair and those hips of hers.

Kidd works on Epico’s arm to start before taking him down into a headlock. Epico is sent to the floor but manages to send Kidd face first into the apron to take over but it’s quickly off to Gabriel. A sunset flip gets two for Justin and he cranks on Epico’s arm as well. Back to Kidd for a headscissors before putting on another armbar. That doesn’t last long as Mysterio comes in with a low dropkick for two.

Young gets the tag and is almost immediately sent face first into the middle buckle, allowing for a tag off to Sin Cara. The masked men hit a combination wheelbarrow slam/X-Factor for two on Young, sending him over to the corner for a tag off to Primo. Cara hits a quick cross body for two and a sunset flip gets the same as this is a very fast paced match. Tensai gets the tag and runs over Cara with a few slams as JBL lists off Tensai’s Japanese accomplishments.

Off to Titus as Sin Cara is in a lot of trouble. Another slam puts Sin down and it’s off to Primo for a camel clutch. Tensai comes back in to work over the downed Cara but goes after the rest of the team instead of covering. Sin Cara gets up for an enziguri, allowing the hot tag to Clay. Brodus cleans house and the Players, Epico and Primo are sent to the floor. Kidd and Gabriel hit stereo dives to take out the cousins followed by Asai moonsaults from Cara and Mysterio to take out the Players. Awesome sequence.

The monsters are going at it back inside and Clay botches his high collar suplex, making it into more of a lifting downward spiral. Tensai avoids a charge in the corner and shoulders Brodus down, setting up a backsplash for the elimination. Gabriel comes in with some kicks to the side but gets taken down by a big shoulder block. Off to Titus for an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker. Back to Tensai for two off a backsplash but he misses a second one, allowing Gabriel to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Titus comes in to stomp on the spent Gabriel before it’s back to Epico for a chinlock. Epico misses some elbow drops, allowing Gabriel to make the tag off to Tyson. Kidd heads to the apron but gets sent to the floor where Primo gets in a cheap shot. Back inside with Primo now legal but getting forearmed in the face. Cole says Primo has been a general out there. I’d go more like a lieutenant at best from what I’ve seen.

Back to Titus who crotches himself off a missed big boot, allowing Tyson to kick him in the side of the head, setting up a rolling cradle for the pin and an elimination. Young comes in to keep the pressure on Kidd before it’s back to Epico for some rolling belly to back suplexes. Not that they matter though as Kidd sweeps the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter to get rid of Epico. Cole of course talks about Montreal.

Primo comes in now but gets elbowed in the ribs for his efforts. He comes back with a quick belly to back suplex, only to go up top and dive into a dropkick to the ribs. The hot tag brings in Mysterio who rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face for two. A seated senton looks to set up the 619 but Primo moves to the side, only to get caught in La Majistral for the pin. Darren Young is left all alone and it’s finishers a go-go until Rey finishes him with a top rope splash for the win.

Rating: C. The winners were never really in doubt but this was the right way to get a show going. The fast paced stuff worked very well here with all of the smaller guys hitting their dives to wake the crowd up and give them a fun match. It’s no masterpiece or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. A little trivia for you: that loss makes Tensai 0-5 at Survivor Series, which I’m pretty sure is the worst record ever.

Kaitlyn is on her way to the ring when someone in black attacks her. Kaitlyn fights back to reveal a blonde wig which falls off as the attacker leaves. Eve pops up and acts all shocked even though she’s evil at the moment. I think the attacker wound up being Aksana.

Divas Title: Katilyn vs. Eve Torres

Eve is defending. Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away in the corner before sending Eve out to the floor. The champion is sent into the barricade and apron before heading back inside for some hair pulling. Eve kicks her in the ribs and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the mat over and over for two. Off to the corner for some choking and an elbow to the back gets two on Kaitlyn.

Eve puts on a figure four choke before clotheslining Kaitlyn down for no cover. Kaitlyn pops back up to break up the moonsault, sending Eve out to the floor. Back in and Eve is tossed around by the hair followed by a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Eve comes right back by sweeping Kaitlyn’s legs out and finishing her with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D. As is the case with the Divas around this time, there isn’t much to brag about other than the girls looked good in their outfits. Kaitlyn just wasn’t that good in the ring and hasn’t gotten much better ever since. Eve was good but her character had hit a ceiling around this time. It’s no surprise she was gone soon after this.

Team Ziggler argues over who is the leader.

Team Foley argues over who will survive. Foley unites them in a BANG BANG chant, save for Orton. Foley: “Randy?” Orton: “I hate you.” Foley: “He’s ready.”

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro is defending and asks why Americans are thankful. The only thing he can think of is how great of a champion he is. Truth gets a quick rollup, sunset flip and rolling cradle for two each before thrusting his hips a bit. Cesaro comes back with a headbutt and a clothesline before pounding away on Truth in the corner. Off to an armbar but a USA chant gets Truth to his feet. The champion shoulders him in the corner and puts on a body vice to keep Truth down again.

A knee to the ribs gets two as JBL lists off some facts about Cesaro’s rugby career. Cole brushes him off and starts listing off rugby facts of his own, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about Cole not listening and asking if Cole is a parrot. The gutwrench suplex gets two for Cesaro and an uppercut gets the same. Back to the body vice for a bit before Truth makes his comeback. Some clotheslines take Cesaro down and a spinning kick to the face gets two. A front suplex gets the same for Truth but the ax kick misses and Cesaro Neutralizes him to retain.

Rating: D. Other than JBL’s rant there was nothing to pay attention to here. These kind of title defenses tend to be very dull as someone like Truth isn’t going to take the title off Cesaro. For the life of me I don’t get why Cesaro isn’t a bigger deal than he is today. The guy has everything you would need but he doesn’t get that big push.

Ad for TLC, set up like an ad for David Otunga’s law offices.

We get a clip from Raw of voicemails from AJ, saying that she wants to end her relationship with Cena, but she loses control when she sees him. AJ claims that Ziggler hacked her phone and set those up. Ziggler makes fun of Cena’s, ahem, performance issues, drawing out Cena as backup. AJ slapped Ziggler down without Cena doing a thing.

Here’s AJ with some evidence against someone for something. Over the last month Vickie has been trying to prove that AJ is having an affair with Cena (remember that they’re both single at this point) which AJ thinks means Vickie has something to hide. This brings out Vickie, ranting as always about how much power she has and how she’s being disrespected.

AJ has pictures of Vickie eating with various wrestling personalities and this is SCANDALOUS! I’ve spent a long time trying to block this storyline out of my head but now I’m remembering how dumb it was. Vickie is shown in a one piece leopard swimsuit dancing with Brodus and Vickie shouts a lot. Slapping is threatened but they both get fired for touching the other, so here’s Tamina Snuka to destroy AJ on Vickie’s behalf. This story would keep going for WEEKS.

Promo for the Attitude Era DVD. Just writing that is so wrong.

Paul Heyman talks about how Punk is now #8 on the all time list for longest title reign and will be rising up the ranks even further after tonight because he’s the best in the world. Heyman is just awesome at promoting his guys.

We recap Big Show vs. Sheamus. Not much of a story here other than they had a war at HIAC with both guys kicking out of each others’ finishers in a great match. Tonight is a rematch.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Big Show

It’s another brawl to start with Sheamus pounding away but Big Show gets in a few shots of his own to take over. The big chop misses in the corner and Sheamus gets in some more shots to little avail. Finally Sheamus wakes up and goes after the knees before tying Show up in the rpes for the forearms to the chest. Big Show escapes to the floor but Sheamus dives off the apron to get in even more right hands to the head.

Back in and Sheamus goes up top but Big Show spears him out of the air in a cool looking crash. They head outside again with Show sending Sheamus into the steps. Sheamus is thrown back in and can barely move. Big Show steps on Sheamus’ ribs a few times as the match has slowed way down. A huge elbow drop gets two and we hit the nerve hold. Sheamus fights up quickly but walks into a side slam for two as the match stays in slow motion. Since the slams aren’t working, Show just stands on Sheamus’ head. Sheamus fights up and grabs a sleeper but Big Show throws him off.

Big Show is getting winded so Sheamus pounds away as much as he can, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. The Final Cut gets two and Show goes to the middle rope, only to be caught in an electric chair of all things for two. That was rather awesome indeed. They slug it out from their knees and Sheamus takes over, knocking Show down with a running ax handle.

The Brogue Kick and chokeslam are countered and Sheamus gets two off White Noise. Now the fans are getting into this again. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick again but takes out the referee by mistake. Four people immediately come out to check on the referee as the replay shows the champion pulling him in the way. Big Show knocks out Sheamus and one of the referees counts a pin to end the match out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match was slow for the most part and the ending hurts it even worse. This took all the good stuff out of the HIAC match and turned it into a dull imitation. This needed to be two monsters firing bombs at each other until neither guy could get up but instead it was your usual Big Show match at about 4 miles per hour.

Post match Show is disqualified and Sheamus lays the thirty one chair shots on him. I never remembered it being that many and that’s because it’s more like 18 and a Brogue Kick. Big Show crawls to the back as WE WANT ZIGGLER chants are ignored.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga, Damien Sandow, Wade Barrett

The Miz, Kofi Kingston, HELL NO, Randy Orton

So as I said, it was supposed to be Punk vs. Foley over old school vs. new school, but Punk was put in the main event and Ziggler was picked despite having no issue with Foley. The match was originally Punk/Sandow/Miz/Del Rio/Rhodes, but Cody got hurt and Miz felt he didn’t deserve the spot, so Miz was replaced by Barrett and Cody was replaced by Otunga. Ryback was originally on Team Foley but was moved to the main event and replaced by Miz in a Raw poll. As you can see, the match is a huge mess and almost no one was interested in it for the most part. HELL NO have the tag belts and Kofi is Intercontinental Champion of course.

Kofi grabs a quick rollup for two on Otunga to start. David avoids a quick Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by a dive on the floor. Otunga’s trunks are pulled up a bit as Bryan comes in with his kicks. Off to Sandow for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow gets two. Bryan fights out of a chinlock and fires off the kicks to the chest to send Sandow out to the floor. Damien says good luck and walks out but Kane will have none of that. Back in and Bryan’s big kick to the head sets up a chokeslam for a fast elimination.

The tag champions get in an argument for no apparent reason, allowing Ziggler to hit a quick Zig Zag on Kane for the pin. That makes the move look strong if nothing else. Orton and Miz get in a quick fight for some reason but Randy catches a sneaky Ziggler in the slingshot suplex for two. Off to Kofi for the matchup that will not die with Ziggler being launched face first into the buckle for two. Back to Bryan who gets poked in the eye, allowing Dolph to tag in Barrett.

Bryan shouts NO a lot but misses a charge into the corner, setting up Barrett’s big boot in the ropes. Otunga comes in again and the YES Lock goes on almost immediately for the submission. It’s 4-3 with Foley in the lead as Del Rio comes in with a chinlock on Bryan. Back up and Del Rio misses a charge into the corner, allowing Bryan to kick him out to the floor. Kofi gets the not very hot tag and kicks Del Rio down, setting up the Boom Drop for no cover. Instead Ziggler distracts Kofi so Trouble in Paradise misses, but Kofi runs up the corner for a cross body and two.

Wade comes right back with the Bull Hammer for a quick pin, getting us down to 3-3 (Orton/Miz/Bryan vs. Barrett/Ziggler/Del Rio). Orton comes in right away and suplexes Barrett down before cranking on the arm. Miz doesn’t seem interested in a tag but Bryan is glad to come in and work on an arm. A middle rope dropkick gets two and Bryan snaps off even more kicks. Barrett avoids a big one and tags in Del Rio but Alberto has to fight out of a quick YES Lock attempt.

Alberto tries a running enziguri in the corner but hits the arm instead, setting up the cross armbreaker for the elimination. Can you imagine the reaction if that happened today? Miz comes in for the first time and scores with some left hands before it’s back to Orton for his traditional stuff. Back to Ziggler who takes over on Randy with a big elbow followed by a chinlock. Orton fights up and launches Ziggler into the air in a nice crash.

A double tag brings in Barrett and Miz with the American connecting with the corner clothesline. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a pumphandle attempt (which isn’t the Wasteland Cole) but Miz escapes into the Finale for the elimination to tie us up at two. Del Rio comes in next but charges into a DDT for two. Alberto grabs a German suplex for two but gets pulled off the middle rope in a crash. Miz misses the corner clothesline and gets enziguried for an elimination.

That leaves Orton vs. Ziggler/Del Rio with Alberto starting for his pair. Orton fires off some punches but gets caught by a cheap shot, allowing Ziggler to come in and slow things down. Alberto is back in very quickly with a double stomp to the ribs but goes up top, only to dive into a dropkick. Ricardo trips up Orton, earning him Socko down the throat. Ziggler accidentally dropkicks Del Rio and gets sent into the post. A quick RKO takes out Alberto and it’s one on one now with Orton having that evil look in his eyes.

Orton immediately goes into RKO mode but Ziggler holds the ropes and hits the Zig Zag for a quick near fall. So it can beat Kane after he’s taken no damage at all but Orton kicks out at two after twenty minutes? Score one for the Viper. The Fameasser misses and Orton hits the Elevated DDT despite bleeding from the mouth a bit. Orton loads up the Punt like a schnook though and walks into a superkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Here’s the problem again: the match isn’t bad but there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting each other. Yeah they’ve all feuded with each other at some point in the past, but there’s nothing going on setting up this match. It’s really just ten guys fighting each other with a minor feud here or there. There was no reason to care about this match and that’s exactly how the match felt. Decent match, but the absence of emotion held it back.

Tout continues to annoy me a year after it stopped being a thing.

We recap the main event. Punk has been champion for a year almost to the day, Ryback got screwed over by Brad Maddox inside the Cell and Cena gave Ryback his spot in the Cell due to injury. The solution? TRIPLE THREAT OF COURSE!!!

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both guys. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena is all like “dude, my arch nemesis” and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fallaway slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.

Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first though but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.

Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Obviously the three guys were Reign/Ambrose/Rollins which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he hasn’t recovered yet. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.

Overall Rating: D. Man alive has time been cruel to this show. Watching it live there was some drama, but looking back you have two LONG Survivor Series matches with no real story behind them and two screwjob finishes in title matches. Shield would become a bigger deal but no one knew that at this point. This was a “tune into Raw tomorrow night” show and that’s not good for the Survivor Series.

Ratings Comparison

3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Original:

Redo: D+

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Original: B-

Redo: C

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Original: D-

Redo: D

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Original: D

Redo: D

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team Foley vs. Team Ziggler

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ryback vs. John Cena vs. CM Punk

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same down the line. It sucked back then and it sucked now. I actually watched most of this show late and while still tired from a flight the first time around but apparently it had more problems than that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/21/survivor-series-2012-a-filler-ppv-disguised-as-a-major-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2011
Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,749
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This show is all about the Rock. Seriously, that’s it. The main event is Rock/Cena vs. Awesome Truth in Rock’s first match in seven years. They totally gave away the announcement of the match before the announcement on Raw but they were trying at least. This show didn’t sell that well for reasons we’ll get to later. Let’s get to it.

The whole history thing starts us off again, as always. Take a guess as to what the opening video is about.

John Laurinitis welcomes us to the show. That’s all he says so this was a minute wasted, brought to you by one of the Dynamic Dudes.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Morrison lost FOREVER, then won a match on Raw after Mason Ryan helped, and gets a title match as a result. This was during a bad period where Ziggler had a rock cover of his song which didn’t work at all. Feeling out process to start and the fans want RYDER. This was when Ryder was white hot but WWE decided that crushing him for the sake of Kane and Jack Swagger. Ziggler gets taken down by the arm as the announcers talk about Ryder.

The fans now think this is boring so Dolph jumps over John in the corner and hits a dropkick to take over. Off to a headlock by the champion as the fans still want Ryder. Dolph gets thrown to the floor and Morrison hits a big corkscrew dive to take the champ out. Vickie offers an annoying distraction and Ziggler takes over back inside. Ziggler takes Morrison down and nips up in a good athletic display before hooking a near Crossface.

As the fans chant the same thing I’d expect to hear for the entire show, Ziggler stands around a lot. Morrison misses a charge in the corner and Dolph hits a reverse powerslam for two. The sleeper doesn’t go on and Morrison starts speeding things up with clotheslines and a leg lariat. That gets two and so does a rollup with tights for Ziggler. Morrison kicks Dolph in the head for two and a half and they trade sleepers.

The fans seem to be more behind Ziggler but it’s New York so that’s not shocking. John hits a spinning DDT for two as Vickie puts Dolph’s foot on the rope, which earns her an ejection. Morrison misses a running knee and they rapidly trade near falls. The Flying Chuck misses for Morrison and it’s a Fameasser…..for two. Wow I thought that was it. The running knee hits Ziggler in the face but Starship Pain hits Ziggler’s knees. Zig Zag retains the title.

Rating: B-. I dug this match a lot, annoying crowd aside. Sometimes there’s nothing better you can do than throw two talented guys out there for ten minutes and let them have fun. Ziggler is more or less in the same spot he’s in a year later which is annoying but it’s the way of life in the WWE. Morrison would be gone in eight days which almost knew was coming.

Post match Vickie gets our attention as only she can and hands the mic to Ziggler who says he’d hate to have to follow what you just saw. He says it’s not showing off it you can back it up every night. As Ziggler celebrates, here’s Ryder…who is immediately beaten down. Ryder comes back and hits the Rough Ryder to send Ziggler running. They probably should have changed the title here, but I’m not sure they were sure they wanted to go with Ryder yet or not.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending and this is a lumberjill match. Beth catches a cross body and just drops Eve like she doesn’t care. Eve kicks her down and does her STUPID dancing moonsault but Beth rolls to the floor and calls it stupid. Good for her! Back in and the moonsault hits anyway for two. Eve gets sent to the apron and has to kick away Natalya, allowing the champion to take over.

Off to a reverse chinlock for a bit before Eve counters a wheelbarrow suplex to send Beth into the middle turnbuckle. Eve hits a kick to the face but a rolling flip hits knees. The Glam Slam is countered and Eve hooks a freaky kind of Octopus Hold before shifting to a modified triangle choke. Eve has to chase off some evil chicks but manages to kick Beth in the head. The moonsault gets broken up though and the Glam Slam off the middle rope retains Beth’s title.

Rating: C. Not terrible here and the ending looked awesome. I loved Beth and Natalya’s heel run together as they HATED the stupid Barbie stuff that chicks like Kelly and Eve were doing because it’s almost embarrassing at times. This particular match started slow but once it picked up it got a lot better.

Otunga comes in to annoy Punk and says Cole deserves an apology from some attack by Punk. Punk says let me go become world champion first.

Rock is in the back and he’s got a mic. He talks about MSG (no FINALLY for some reason) and being here in the 70s, watching his grandfather fighting for the world title. Then in the 80s he hung out with Andre the Giant in the locker room. Then in 1996 he debuted in the WWF, and despite having a hideous outfit and the worst haircut known to man (his words), the fans chanted his name. That’s correct actually and they didn’t even tell him to die. Rock runs us through his history of catchphrases and title wins, with the most important being him becoming the People’s Champion.

There’s FINALLY and he has to stop for a chant. He does his stupid boots catchphrase before moving on to his partner: John Cena. The fans think Cena sucks but Rock talks about the things that have happened in MSG like Ali vs. Frazier. Then he sings some Frank Sinatra and asks the fans to sing with him. It’s on tonight and that’s about it. This is what the fans wanted and he could have had them say anything he wanted here. That’s what Rock is great at and it worked.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler

Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Mason Ryan, Sin Cara

Ziggler is subbing for an injured Christian. There’s no real reason for most of these guys other than needing four midcard faces and heels to fill out the teams. Cody is IC Champion. Kofi and Bourne are tag champions here but Bourne is on a Wellness violation. Kofi and Ziggler start things off with Ziggler hitting a quick elbow to take Kofi down. The reverse powerslam is countered and Dolph gets one off a dropkick.

Kofi’s SOS is countered so it’s a forearm to take Dolph down instead. There’s the tag to Orton and an RKO eliminates Ziggler quickly. To be fair he had a match earlier so this isn’t a bad thing for him. Barrett has a huddle on the floor with his team but Orton wants to fight some more. Back in and it’s most of Team Orton to clear the ring before Kofi and Cara try stereo flip dives. Cara, being the klutz that he is at this point, trips on the top rope and rips his knee apart, putting him in the shelf for the next seven months.

The match stops for a few moments as we’re told Cara is eliminated. We get back to normal and it’s Cody vs. Randy now. Orton grabs the arm and it’s off to Ryan. Prepare for a trainwreck. Ryan hits some very basic stuff including a knee to the chest before Cody bails to the floor. Hunico gets the tag but Ryan has to literally pull him in. Off to Kofi whose tights look like they have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man on them if you don’t look too long.

Kofi misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Barrett for a chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline to put them both right back down. Double tag brings in Hunico vs. Ryan with the latter hitting a series of backbreakers and a fallaway slam. Hunico gets gorilla press dropped into the corner for a tag to Cody. There’s the Disaster Kick and the Cross Rhodes (POP) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Sheamus vs. Cody now with the Pale One quickly getting annoyed. He pounds Rhodes down in the corner and hits the ten forearms in the ropes, which they tried to name some Irish word. It lasted about two weeks before they realized it speaks for itself pretty well. Cody tries to low bridge Sheamus but Sheamus lands on the apron. Barrett decks the Irishman and Hunico comes in with a springboard dropkick to the knee.

Cole starts talking about Shawn Michaels for no apparent reason as Sheamus takes out Hunico’s knee as well. Off to Kofi who chops Barrett down a lot but gets kicked in the face after having to deal with Swagger. Upon further review, that IS the Stay Puft Man on Kofi’s trunks. With Barrett mostly dead from the kick, the Wasteland eliminates Kofi. It’s Orton and Sheamus vs. Swagger, Barrett, Hunico and Rhodes.

Orton comes in and tries the Elevated DDT, but Wade drops him to the floor where Hunico hits a suicide dive to take Orton out. Swagger comes in to pound on Orton a bit before Cody comes in for a release gordbuster. That gets two and it’s off to a chinlock for a bit. A bulldog by Cody is easily countered and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. The Pale One pounds on Swagger and hits the top rope shoulder and the Irish Curse. Swagger escapes the High Cross so Sheamus drops knees on his head, drawing a DQ when the referee gets to five. They were really trying to keep Sheamus strong here and that mostly worked.

Before Sheamus leaves, he takes Swagger’s head off with a Brogue Kick. Orton gets the easy pin and it’s 3-1. Rhodes comes in and stomps a spent Orton down in the corner but Orton comes back with some clotheslines. There’s the powerslam to Rhodes followed by the Elevated DDT. Randy has to chase off Barrett so Hunico gets a blind tag. He springboards right into the RKO for the elimination to make it 2-1, but Rhodes distracts Orton into the Wasteland to give Barrett the final pin.

Rating: B. This is your usual good formula based Survivor Series match with Orton and Barrett getting to advance their feud and not having Orton lose any face at all. The rest of the teams didn’t mean much but Kofi is perfect for matches like this: he’s got the resume to make him look like a threat but he never steals anyone’s thunder. Good match.

The Bellas hit on Alberto when Ace comes up. Del Rio isn’t worried about Punk tonight. Ace texts someone.

Don’t be a bully!

The ring is reenforced for the next match after Big Show and Henry broke the ring at Vengeance. That’s why the rematch is happening here tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Henry is defending. They trade the big dramatic shoves to start and Henry gets shoved to the floor. Back in and Show takes it to the mat which goes a lot better than you would expect it to. If that’s not shocking enough, Show armdrags Henry to the floor. Henry stalls in the corner before going after Show’s knee. Mark lays on the leg a bit and drops some elbows. I think the fans are chanting boring, likely due to New York fans being ridiculous.

A clothesline puts Show down but Show comes back with a DDT for two. Now the fans want Daniel Bryan, who has an MITB case at this point. Show shoulders Henry down and calls for the chokeslam, but Henry kicks him in the knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for two. A splash gets the same and Henry is getting frustrated. Booker sums up what Henry should do: give him another World’s Strongest Slam. I’ve never gotten why wrestlers don’t do that. Just because a finisher doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean a second or third won’t work.

The fans want Undertaker as the guys go to the floor. Show gets posted and then tackled through part of the barricade. That finally gets the fans’ attention on the match instead of on guys who aren’t here. Show barely makes it back into the ring in time but he manages to break up another superplex attempt. He busts out a superkick of all things to knock down Henry and draw an HBK chant.

Big Show goes up top (uh oh) and even though he takes forever, he hits a top rope elbow on Henry…..for two. Why do a huge spot like that if it doesn’t end the match? Now it’s a Randy Savage chant. Show loads up the WMD, but Henry kicks him low for the FREAKING LAME DQ to retain the title.

Rating: C+. There’s something awesome about two huge guys beating the tar out of each other and that’s what we got here. Henry was AWESOME in 2011 and made for a great world champion, which is the last thing most people expected. That elbow was great, but to have the match end the way it did sucked. Show would beat Henry the next month, only to have Bryan cash in and win the title 45 seconds later.

Post match Henry tries to Pillmanize Show’s ankle again but Show gets out of the way and knocks Henry out cold. The fans chant for Bryan but no such Goatface appears. Show wraps the chair around Henry’s ankle instead and drops a leg on the chair to break Henry’s ankle.

Barrett says that the world title is next for him but Awesome Truth comes in and demands respect. Truth talks about an argument he had with some pigeons. The pigeons said nothing though, because pigeons don’t talk. Crazy Truth was great.

The New York National Guard is here.

We recap Punk vs. Del Rio. Del Rio cashed in MITB at Summerslam after Punk won, Cena beat Del Rio at Vengeance, Del Rio won a threeway with Punk and Cena in the Cell, tonight is the rematch from Summerslam, if you call that a match.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. Del Rio has Ricardo Rodriguez introduce him, so CM Punk brings out his own ring announcer: HOWARD FREAKING FINKEL! Round one goes to Punk. Howard waddles out and seems genuinely choked up by the reaction he gets. The fans want ice cream which is a thing he said he wanted in his own image. Feeling out process to start as Punk does his headlock so he can call spots to Del Rio.

Now the fans chant for Colt Cabana. Man these guys just won’t stop. Punk cranks on the arm a bit and Alberto hides on the floor. Back in and Punk knees him down in the corner and hits a dropkick to send the champ back to the floor. There’s the suicide dive from Punk and it’s back in to work on the arm. Alberto sends him into the ropes where Ricardo gets in a shot, allowing Del Rio to take over.

Alberto comes in off the top with an elbow to the head for two and it’s off to the arm for the champion. Both guys have arm finishers which isn’t something you often see. Punk fights out of the hold but can’t hook the GTS as Del Rio hooks a DDT on the arm. The champ drops knees on the arm and we hit about the 8^th armbar of the match. Punk breaks that one as well but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

CM ducks a charge to send Alberto to the floor and things slow down again. Back in and Punk makes a comeback with a lot of strikes to the head and a neckbreaker for two. The knee in the corner and bulldog get the same but Alberto counters the GTS into a Backstabber for two. A running enziguri in the corner gets a VERY close two on Punk and now it’s Alberto that’s frustrated.

Del Rio loads up a superplex in the corner but Punk knocks him off and loads up the Macho Elbow but gets crotched. Alberto gets in a hard kick to the arm but misses a charge into the post while Punk is still on top. Now the Macho Elbow hits to a big pop but it only gets two. The crowd is really getting into these kickouts now. Punk shouts for the GTS but Alberto counters it for the third time. The armbreaker is escaped but Punk’s high kick misses as well and there’s the armbreaker on full.

After getting as close to tapping as a face is going to, Punk gets his feet in the ropes. Del Rio escapes the GTS for the fourth time because the arm isn’t there. Punk kicks Ricardo in the face and gets rolled up with trunks for two. The high kick gets two for CM so he immediately puts on the Vice and wins Del Rio is in big trouble. He grabs at Punk’s face (realistic, nice) but has to tap and Punk wins the title.

Rating: A. I don’t remember liking this as well the first time but this was a really good match. Del Rio seemed like a real threat to keep the title here as Punk’s arm just wasn’t going to be able to do hit the GTS. The Vice is a little more realistic and I can live with him being able to do that so even the ending is ok. This was a very solid match, but the problem with the story overall is the title changes happening so rapidly.

In short, Del Rio getting two title reigns and Cena getting one out of all this didn’t need to happen. Punk could have won at Summerslam, beaten Del Rio cashing in here, and things would have been much stronger. But hey, that would mean MITB would be interesting instead of there for a shock value and we can’t have that.

Finkel does the “and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW” WWE Champion call. Punk is the new WWE Champion having won it in the middle of Madison Square Garden and The Fink got to tell the people about it. Is there a cooler moment in wrestling? No, there isn’t.

Punk celebrates for a long time post match. As I’m writing this (November 7, 2012), he’s STILL champion.

Austin has yet another DVD.

We recap Awesome Truth vs. Rock/Cena. Cena had beaten up both guys before a tag match was made for this show. He was told he could pick ANYONE he wanted as a partner so he picked The Great One. Pay no attention to the PPV ad that played at the end of HIAC and advertised the match before Cena officially picked his partner. Basically the only way Awesome Truth (Miz/R-Truth) can win is to have Rock and Cena implode. Other than that we’re looking at a squash.

Awesome Truth vs. The Rock/John Cena

Rock is going to start as Cena is off to kiss the widow of Arnold Skaaland. Miz gets to face Rock to start and the Great One grabs a quick headlock. Rock snaps off some GREAT armdrags and gets two off La Magistral (it’s an armtrap cradle) on Miz. Awesome Truth huddles on the floor and Cena looks impressed. Truth wants to fight Rock now and Rock says Just Bring It. The fans do the Cena dueling chants before Rock hits a fisherman’s suplex on Truth, but Cena is going after Miz, meaning no count.

Now Miz wants to get back in and he wants it to be with Cena. Given how Rock looked, that’s a wise choice. Cena quickly takes over with snapmares, a monkey flip (!!) and a dropkick. The fans boo him out of the building and tell him he still sucks. Off to Truth who walks into Cena’s finishing sequence but Cena tells Rock that he can’t see Cena. They stare each other down, allowing Truth to nail Cena (Rock saw it coming and didn’t do anything) to give the guys with no chance the advantage.

Truth and Miz take a few turns on Cena before Truth hooks a chinlock. Cena gets thrown to the floor by Truth which gets two back in the ring. Back to a leg choke by Truth as the fans want Rocky. Off to Miz who counters an AA into a short DDT for two. The fans seem to be into Miz as he hits his running clothesline in the corner. Truth hooks a front facelock to kill a few moments and it’s back to Miz who gets two off a clothesline.

The spinning legdrop gets two for Truth as the crowd is waiting to explode for Rock’s hot tag. Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through. His AA attempt is countered into a sitout gordbuster for two and it’s back to Miz. Miz hits a pair of boots to the face of Cena but the third is countered into the STF. Truth makes a quick save and Rock is content to stand on the apron. Cena grabs a quick AA on Truth but Miz knocks Rock off the apron to tease the crowd even further.

Truth drops Rock on the barricade to keep him down as Cena gets put in another chinlock. A double flapjack gets two on Cena and it’s back to the front facelock by Truth. Truth’s second legdrop misses There’s the real hot tag to Rock and house is cleaned in a hurry. Miz gets put in the Survivor Series Sharpshooter but Truth saves as everything breaks down. With Cena and Truth on the floor, Miz goes off on Rock but charges into a spinebuster. The People’s Elbow returns and Rock gets the pin on Miz.

Rating: B. What else were you expecting here? This is one that has indeed changed over time as we knew Rock would have a great match with Cena at Wrestlemania. The match itself was formula stuff which is perfectly fine and all that it should have been. Rock making the save was the right call and there’s almost no complaints at all here. Good match but it didn’t need to happen, which we’ll get to in a bit.

Cena leaves so Rock can have him moment, but Rock calls him back in. Cena’s posing gets booed, Rock’s gets cheered. Rock lays out Cena with a Rock Bottom to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This is an AWESOME show with a great world title match and a solid main event. The problem was it didn’t sell that well and it’s really clear why: the main event was a bad idea. The whole idea of Rock vs. Cena at Mania was that it was Rock’s first match in 8 years. Well now it’s Rock’s first match in about five months and for what? Rock and Cena had beaten up both guys one on two leading up to the match. There was no doubt as to who was going to win and nothing was on the line, so why watch the match? There was no reason and not a lot of people did. Still though, great show and worth seeing.

That’s the end of the Survivor Series Redo Count-Up and it really was fun to do this. A lot of the shows were about the same the second time around, but one thing is very clear: I was freaking WORDY back in the day. All of these reviews were shorter this time around and that’s probably better. Anyway, I’ll be back for the Rumble, Wrestlemania and Summerslam versions of these. Thanks for reading and supporting me all these years to the point where I can do another set of these. I really appreciate you all.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Original: C

Redo: C

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Original: B-

Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: A

The Rock/John Cena vs. Awesome Truth

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A

The World Title really changed things for me here. Still a great show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/20/survivor-series-2011-rock-still-has-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is all about the Nexus with the main event of Orton vs. Barrett for the world title with Cena as the referee. If Barrett wins, Cena is free from Nexus. If Orton wins, Cena is fired. Other than that we’ve only got one Survivor Series match which is kind of a letdown but it could be worse. This is one of those shows that doesn’t mean much because of what happens the next night anyway so it’s hard to get into this in a way. This is one of the two Survivor Series I reviewed live so the grades should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

The usual opening video is the video that opens us. The idea tonight is Cena not wanting to compromise his integrity and give the title to Barrett when he doesn’t deserve it, but he doesn’t want to quit. A song about being what you believe plays over this.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is challenging here because he wants to win his first title. Simple but effective I guess. Bryan has Rise of the Valkyries here which makes things all the more awesome but the lack of beard hurts. Maryse is with Ted here too and is rocking a beige dress. Bryan speeds things up to start and there go the lights. Daniel dropkicks DiBiase to the apron but as he goes to get Ted, Bryan gets suplexed out to the floor in a cool bump.

Back in and Bryan fires off the kicks. It’s so weird to not hear YES or NO whenever he hits…well anything actually. DiBiase hooks a chinlock to slow the champ down followed by a backbreaker and dropkick for two. Back to the chinlock as the fans are way into Bryan here. This one doesn’t last as long as Bryan fights up and speeds up the pace. There’s the moonsault out of the corner and a dropkick to send DiBiase to the floor. Bryan hits the suicide dive to the floor but he comes up favoring his shoulder. Why is that called favoring? It’s in worse shape than anything else so how is that favoring it?

They head back in and Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two and it’s time for more kicks. The LeBell (NO) Lock can’t go on because of the bad shoulder though and DiBiase clotheslines him down. Dream Street (Cobra Clutch) from DiBiase is countered twice so Ted hits a sitout spinebuster for two. Dibiase’s superplex is countered a belly to back superplex by Bryan but he still can’t get the LeBell Lock. A rollup gets two for Ted and Bryan grabs the arm for the LeBell Lock to retain.

Rating: C+. This felt like an extended Smackdown match but that’s not a bad thing. Bryan was still a pretty big underdog in a lot of his matches at this point but wins like this were exactly what he needed. DiBiase never got over in this role or really in any other either. He’s a guy who needs to change his name as he’s never going to get out from under his dad’s shadow and it’s crippling his career. Well that and WWE never putting him on TV.

As Bryan poses on the stage, Miz and Alex Riley (speaking of guys who need to be on TV more) jump him with the MITB case. Miz and Riley get in the ring but the lights go out again. Miz talks about how he’s from Cleveland and doesn’t like the Miami Heat that much. He compares Barrett to LeBron James because neither will ever be a world champion. The fans chant for the Heat and Miz says he’ll cash in soon. That’s true.

We recap Sheamus vs. Morrison. Sheamus is a bully, Morrison is sick of him. That’s it.

Sheamus says Morrison is jealous of him for being a former and future world champion because Morrison never will be.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Jerry tells a story of a guy in high school that kept taking everyone’s lunch money and picking on everyone he could but no one ever stood up to him. Striker: “Was his name Judas? (HUH?)” Jerry: “Actually it was Jerry Lawler.” Your lesson for the day kids: beat up other kids and treat them like trash and you could be a multiple time world champion and get a job on national TV every week and get into the WWE Hall of Fame. But you’d rather be a STAR right?

Cole says Morrison described this match as a tank against a fighter jet. Cole: “Of course Morrison the jet and Sheamus the tank.” What would we ever do without Cole? I’m not sure, but I’m going to go look into it. Anyway Morrison starts fast and dropkicks Sheamus to the floor followed by a corkscrew dive to take the pale one out. Sheamus sends him into the barricade and runs Morrison over with an ax handle.

Back in and we hit the chinlock as the fans aren’t all that into Sheamus at all. A backbreaker gets two for Sheamus and it’s back to a chinlock again, although this one has an armbar added in. Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest from a seated position instead of in the ropes. It’s always cool to see the evolution of a move like that. Sheamus puts him on the top and pounds away again but Morrison slugs Sheamus down to the mat. A cross body gets rolled through for two for Sheamus and John is in trouble.

The Brogue Kick misses and Morrison enziguris him down. Morrison is all fired up and hits some clotheslines for two but it’s hard to keep Sheamus down. Irish Curse stops the momentum but it only gets two again. The High Cross is countered into a Russian legsweep for two for Johnny. Sheamus goes after the knee to stop Morrison again. This match really is as back and forth as it sounds. No one has had an extended advantage for the most part.

Sheamus puts the leg over his shoulder and pulls Morrison forward to the mat in a cool looking move that I haven’t seen before. Half crab does more damage for Sheamus but he slaps Morrison in the face a few times to tick him off. John kicks him down but Starship Pain is broken up with ease. The High Cross is countered again and the Brogue Kick misses, allowing Morrison to hit the Flying Chuck and a running knee to the face for the surprise pin.

Rating: B-. These two always have this freakish chemistry that really doesn’t make a ton of sense but is always there. Morrison’s flying style was a great counter to the power stuff from Sheamus, and as usual the idea of power vs. speed works as well as anything else. Morrison would never hit a level that they were hoping for him to, while Sheamus would go on to win the world title at Wrestlemania in a few years. You never know what’s going to happen in wrestling, which is why it’s funny.

Watch Big Show’s movie! No one else has.

R-Truth continues to meddle in Cena’s business and offers to interfere in the main event tonight because you can only win by pin or submission. He offers to attack Orton and Cena will be guilt free. Cena yells at him for suggesting it.

Intercontinental Title: Kaval vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kaval is more famous as Low Ki and won NXT Season 2 to get any title shot he wanted. In his first win, he beat Dolph on Smackdown and picked to challenge for this title tonight. A quick elbow gets two so Dolph takes over with a forearm in the corner. There’s the Hennig necksnap and a mini AA for two for Dolph. A handspring elbow takes Dolph down and Kaval pounds away in the corner until a Vickie distraction lets Dolph take him down.

Kaval comes back with a handspring into a kick to the face in the corner which looked pretty awesome. Kaval goes up with his back to the ring, allowing Dolph to put on a sleeper on the top rope for some reason. Dolph gets knocked back and Kaval misses a big flip dive, allowing Dolph to hit the Fameasser for two. The sleeper goes on (on the mat this time) but Kaval escapes and is launched to the top rope where he springs off and hits a spin kick to the face in ANOTHER awesome looking move. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and gets rolled up for two before Ziggler gets a rollup of his own with tights to retain.

Rating: C-. Kaval tried here but this crippled whatever he had as far as momentum was going. He would be gone before the end of the year and I can’t say I blame him. The match here was ok enough but the chemistry didn’t click at all. Also, why would you pick a match for the IC Title when you can pick whatever you want?

Jack Swagger doesn’t like the idea about being on Team Del Rio, because it should be Team Swagger. Jack says some stuff about the Spanish being spoken here because he doesn’t habla Espanol. Rhodes, who is still Dashing at this point, comes up and makes fun of Swagger’s shoes. Del Rio, who only mostly sucks at this point, says that he won a bet about Swagger getting interrupted. This goes nowhere.

Team Del Rio vs. Team Mysterio

Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes

Rey Mysterio, Chris Masters, Big Show, MVP, Kofi Kingston

Team Mysterio is all in blue in a nice touch. The fans chant for MVP as he’s the hometown boy. The captains start things off but there’s no contact as Del Rio tags in Rhodes. We start talking about baseball (Striker: “Rickey Henderson may be the greatest baseball player of all time.” Cole and Lawler: “WHAT???”) as Rey hooks an O’Connor Roll for two on Cody. Cody comes back with a Disaster Kick and stomps away in the corner.

Here’s Del Rio again who gets caught in the corner and hit by a hard running dropkick. Off to MVP who hits a dropkick and ducks an enziguri in the corner. This was right around the time when he was getting good, but he would be gone in less than three weeks. Here’s Kofi with some bouncing offense but it’s quickly off to Masters. Lawler does his usual talk about the Clowns vs. Kings back in 94 as Reks and McIntyre take turns beating on Masters.

Drew’s middle rope jumps lands on a boot and Masters can tag in MVP. MVP suplexes McIntyre down and hits the Ballin Elbow, only to fall victim to the Ultimate Warrior/Rick Rude ending from Mania 5 (MVP suplexes Drew but Alberto hooks MVP’s foot and Drew falls on top for a pin). Masters comes back in again and hits a kind of Jackhammer for two. Del Rio avoids the Masterlock and puts on the Armbreaker for the submission to make it 5-3.

Here’s Big Show as the stopper for his team and Del Rio bails, bringing in Swagger. Swagger tries to wrestle him down and is immediately chopped in the chest. A kind of chop block takes Show down and it’s back to Del Rio. Show glares at him again and Alberto tags out to Drew, but before Alberto gets out Show knocks him out cold. With McIntyre down, Show slams Kofi down onto Drew for a two count. Apparently Alberto can’t continue and is eliminated. Cody comes in to face Kingston and Rhodes snaps when he gets hit in the face. He goes on a rant and heads to the floor to check the mirror on the back of his jacket.

Rhodes heads back in and gets hit in the face again. Off to Show who slaps Cody on the back and the KO punch makes it 3-3. It’s Kofi/Rey/Show vs. Reks/Swagger/McIntyre and Reks immediately clotheslines Show down in an impressive move. Swagger comes in to work on the leg and hooks the ankle lock. After nearly tapping, Show crawls over to Rey for the saving tag. Rey speeds things up but Jack kicks his head off for two.

Swagger drills Kofi on the apron before catching Rey’s 619 into the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls through the hold and makes the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house and hits the top rope cross body on Reks for two. Kofi misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. After Kofi gets down, Reks charges into a double boot in the corner for the fast elimination. Swagger comes in almost immediately and catches Trouble in Paradise into the ankle lock to tie things back up. Kofi tapping is a weird sight.

Back to Big Show who uses that large body of his to run Swagger over a few times before Swagger has to lay down so Rey and Show can do the on the shoulders splash. McIntyre breaks up the big splash though and Rey is down. Rey gets placed on the top rope but headbutts Jack down to the mat. The 619 sets up that splash off Show’s shoulders to make it 2-1. Future Shock is countered and it’s a chokeslam from Show for the elimination.

Rating: B-. This was a fine Survivor Series match with both teams working well together. I don’t get the point in having Del Rio eliminated that early, but I guess it allows for Rey vs. Del Rio to happen later on. The match wasn’t a classic but it worked well enough for what it was supposed to be. Decent stuff here and the fans were happy with the ending.

Randy Orton talks about how he’s tired of hearing all of the talk about Cena and Barrett, because tonight it’s either the RKO or the Punt to stop Barrett.

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

I miss Laycool’s entrance, if nothing else for how they look in the shorts. Laycool are the co champions here as both have belts in a story that wasn’t that interesting in the first place. The champs have to tag here and it’s Michelle to start. Natalya takes it to the mat early on and Michelle actually takes over with the amateur stuff. Off to the hometown heel in Layla who distracts the referee so Michelle can pull Nattie onto the floor.

Back in and Natalya supelxes both chicks at once but her back is hurt in the process. Michelle blasts her in said back on the floor, but Natalya shoves Michelle over the barricade. They all brawl at ringside for a bit before Natalya and Michelle head into the ring. McCool gets rammed into Layla and the Sharpshooter gives Natalya the title.

Rating: D. Here’s this whole feud in a nutshell: Natalya beat up Layla, then Natalya beat up Michelle, then Natalya beat up both of them at once. This wasn’t much of a match but it’s the kind of breather that you have to give the fans before you get to the big stuff later on. Laycool would be around for a few more months, but once they split they fell off the face of the planet all of a sudde.

Beth Phoenix returns to save Nattie from a double beatdown. This would set up a Divas tables match next month.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. Kane beat Taker in the Cell (Today is November 6, 2012 and that match is the last time Smackdown main evented a PPV to date) when Paul Bearer shocked no one and turned on Taker. Edge got this shot by uh……tall. I think he just got the shot because he was on a hot streak. Edge also kidnapped Bearer and tortured him and I don’t think has returned him yet.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Kane is defending here. Edge wheels out with an empty wheelchair to mess with Kane a bit more. Kane tries a quick chokeslam but Edge punches out of it. Kane sends him to the floor and Edge wheels the chair around a bit more to make Kane mad. A baseball slide sends Kane into the barricade before we head back inside where the Canadian takes out the Spaniard’s leg. He wraps the leg around the post and lays on it for a bit to make sure we don’t get excited.

Kane gets in an uppercut to take over and slugs away slowly. The Big Bald chokes away and yells about Bearer a bit as the fans aren’t really thrilled by this stuff. Granted I question how many fans know Smackdown exists still so it’s a fair problem to have. To really mix things up, Kane puts on a cravate and yells even more. A low dropkick gets two for the champion and it’s back to the trusty cravate. Edge finally gets up and hits a cross body off the top for two.

Kane slugs him down but Edge dropkicks him out of the air on the top rope clothesline attempt. A side slam gets two for Kane and he goes up again. Edge makes the stop but gets crotched and clotheslined down for two. Something resembling a DDT puts Kane down but Edge’s spear hits boot. There’s the chokeslam for two so Kane tries the Tombstone. Edge slips down the back and spears Kane down for the pin and no title, because all four shoulders were down and it’s a draw. Yep, that’s really what they did.

Rating: F+. The ending until the cover wasn’t bad, but other than that this was dull, slow and horrible. These two just did not work well together at all, so of course they had another title match on PPV. Horrible match here as Kane just stood around and held Edge by the neck for LONG stretches of time. Kane would accidentally kill Paul Bearer soon after this. Don’t ask.

Kane beats up Edge post match. Edge comes back and puts Kane in the wheelchair and sends him through part of the barricade.

Barrett tells Cena if he doesn’t help him tonight, Cena is gone. Apparently Nexus started in this building. Cena says he knows what he’s going to do.

Tag Titles: Nexus vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Santino Marella

Slater and Gabriel are the champions here and have Harris/McGillicutty/Otunga with them. Santino and Slater start things off and Marella gets to use some of the martial arts that Kozlov has been teaching him. Off to Gabriel and Kozlov who tags himself in. Remember that two years ago, Kozlov was in the world title match against HHH and now he’s here. That’s quite the fall. Gabriel dives at Kozlov and gets caught in a kind of spinebuster to give the challengers control.

Gabriel gets in a kick to take Koz down and Slater drops a knee for two. Back to Justin for a cravate and then a front facelock. Kozlov is about to get to Santino when Slater draws Cobra Man in. That’s some good old school tag stuff there and it’s awesome. Slater hooks a front facelock of his own but it’s a hot tag to Santino. He hits all of his usual stuff and loads up the Cobra, but the other members of Nexus distract him (not that hard really) and Slater hits the sleeper drop for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here that wouldn’t be on Raw on any given week. The tag titles were absolutely nothing at this point but then again that could go for any show for a good six year stretch or so. It makes the current tag team resurgence look more impressive as they took it from nowhere to something decent, which is a big deal. The match here was fine but it was another breather for the fans.

Post match the challengers get beaten down again and the Anonymous Raw GM says if Nexus interferes in the world title match, they’re suspended indefinitely.

We recap Orton vs. Barrett. Barrett got the title shot I believe through winning NXT and got Cena to join Nexus through winning at HIAC. Cena hates it and somehow he gets to be the guest referee tonight. If he screws Orton over, he won’t be able to live with himself, but if he doesn’t screw Orton over, Barrett will fire him. This gets the music video treatment of course.

Raw World Title: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Oh and you can only win by pin or submission. Feeling out process to start with Orton grabbing a headlock. A shoulder puts Barrett down and Orton fires away elbows and uppercuts in the corner. Cena finally does something and it’s correct procedure, but the fans boo because it’s against Orton. He goes the same thing to Barrett and Orton hits a dropkick to take over.

We head to the floor where Barrett hits a kick to the ribs to take over. Orton gets sent into the steps and punched down back in the ring. Barrett covers and gets a fair one count. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Orton fights back with his usual comeback stuff. The backbreaker gets two and Orton glares at Cena. Barrett gets in an uppercut and hits a top rope elbow for two.

Barrett hits his pumphandle slam for two and now Barrett glares at Cena too. This is pretty dull stuff so far. Wasteland is countered and there’s a Boss Man Slam (called a Black Hole Slam by Striker) for another close two. The fans do the usual pro/anti Cena chants as Orton hits the Elevated DDT. Barrett gets in a knee to the head and Wasteland hits, but Orton grabs the rope at two. I do love how the idea that Barrett could just win the title on his own is a completely non-factor. Barrett shoves Cena so Cena shoves him back, right into the RKO and the clean pin to fire Cena. Striker: “Cena’s free!” Cole: “Cena’s fired.” Striker: “Oh.”

Rating: D. This barely worked as the focus was entirely on Cena and the match was really dull for the most part. It was someone hitting a move that would be lucky to get two and then glaring at Cena when they didn’t get a pin off of it. Cena was “fired” as a result, but would of course be back on PPV the next month. I don’t think he ever missed a Raw. I like the moment with him counting the pin because that’s him being himself which is the essence of Cena’s character, but the match sucked.

Cena has no idea what to do post match. Nexus runs in and gets beaten down by the Super Best Friends. Cena hands Orton the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main events sucked but the first half or so of this was fine. The problem with the main event here is the same problem that brought down the whole Nexus angle: Barrett never won the title. Without that, Nexus and Barrett in particular weren’t really big threats but rather guys that annoyed Cena for a few months until he beat them all. Besides, the next night Miz cashed in and won the title after Cena cost Barrett another title shot. This show isn’t really worth seeing but it’s not horrible.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: C+

John Morrison vs. Sheamus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Natalya vs. Laycool

Original: D+

Redo: D

Kane vs. Edge

Original: D

Redo: F+

Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D

Redo: D+

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked this one WAY better on first viewing. Then again I didn’t know what was coming for Nexus back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/19/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2010-when-did-orton-and-barrett-get-good/