Today is a true innovator of offense: Nova.

Nova debuted under his real name of Mike Bucci in 1992 and had some early jobber spots in the WWF, such as this one from Superstars on November 27, 1993.

Adam Bomb vs. Mike Bucci

There’s a guest ring announcer of about 8 years old who introduces Bucci as weighing 249 libs and says Bomb is managed by Marby Bippleman. Bomb throws him around with ease but avoids an elbow and goes to work on the arm. Adam drops him ribs first across the top rope and the Adam Smasher (powerbomb) ends this quick.

After some time in the indies, Bucci went to ECW as Supernova and would appear on the Hostile City Showdown 1996 card.

Supernova vs. El Puero Ricano

Supernova is a superhero here and quickly hiptosses Ricano over the top rope to the floor. A top rope flip dive puts Ricano down again and a powerbomb out of the corner gets two back inside. Ricano sends him outside for an Asai Moonsault against the barricade but the Eliminators run in for the no contest. Short but very energetic stuff while it lasted.

Things would get a bit more serious in 1998 as Nova had become part of the Blue World Order (Hollywood Nova, Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie), a parody of the NWO. Joey Styles summed the group up perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it.” They would be on the card at Wrestlepalooza 1998.

F.B.I. vs. BWO

Suddenly I want some alphabet soup. It’s Tracy Smothers and Guido vs. Super Nova and Blue Meanie. The BWO itself is actually over and dead but they both wear blue and team together still so there we are. I want to hit Tommy Rich. The guy is just freaking annoying. He gets a huge F YOU chant directed at him so at least Georgia fans are intelligent. Nova and Guido, the two talented guys, start us out.

Nova is a superhero by the way. Meanie is just a fat guy that has nothing else going for him. Nova is well known for having a very unorthodox offense and it’s on display here. Meanie comes in and Rich says we need to have a dance contest. And the referee dances too. THANKFULLY Smothers jumps Meanie to end this mindlessness. And the referee slams both heels to get two on Smothers. What the heck am I watching???

Finally we get something sensible as Smothers hits a nice bicycle kick to Nova’s head. Meanie can’t even get into the ring correctly. This is what critics mean when they say this company was a joke. When you’re that sloppy, you have no business being in a ring on a major show at all. Meanie misses the moonsault, which is just about the only move Meanie could do without injuring someone else. Nova hits a downward spiral for the pin. And the faces do the YMCA afterwards. My head hurts again.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t bad, but for the most part it was an unfunny comedy match. Nova was cool, but other than that there was just noting at all that stood out here for me. Meanie was just a fat man that never did anything of note outside of ECW (Bluedust was nothing of note and yes I know he was in WWF for awhile) and the FBI were always annoying as all goodness to me. It’s not bad but it’s nothing to write home about, or better yet it’s nothing to review. Wait what?

Another six man tag, this time from November to Remember 1998.

Blue World Order vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

The BWO here are Nova and Meanie, as Richards realized he had that thing that people like called mainstream appeal so he’s in WWF at this point. Roadkill is an Amish guy, called the Angry Amish Chicken Plucker. This could be a really long night. They’re a new team here but they would eventually become kind of a big deal by ECW standards. Doring is about as bland as you could dream of a guy with his name being.

Nova has some unique offense from what I remember so this should be ok. And here’s Funk again with his own cameraman. There’s also a camera following Funk and his cameraman. Styles asks a great question: why are we focusing on Terry Funk when there’s wrestling going on. Funk takes over as timekeeper. Again, I get that he’s a far bigger star, but if you’re going to have these four guys out there, don’t take the focus off of them for Funk.

Yes he’s by far the bigger star and more important than all four combined, but show the guys some respect if you could. We get a lot of heel miscommunication to keep the faces in control as this is becoming a glorified squash. Ok the People’s Legdrop is kind of a cute idea but I’m still not huge on theatrical moves. Not a big deal at all though. And here’s Funk again to interfere and then put himself through a table.

Doring is setting for something but stops to do a strut called the Dastardly Shuffle. I like the name if nothing else. Ok seriously, have the match, or follow Funk. This is annoying. Joey makes me chuckle asking if Roadkill took a horse and buggy to New Orleans from Pennsylvania. That’s rather amusing. He does a Taker rope walk but misses the elbow drop he was trying.

Doring has a lot of long and drawn out names for his moves which is clever for some stupid reason that I don’t get but whatever. He and Nova are working the majority of the match which is intelligent. And now we have one of my biggest annoyances of ECW: claiming Monday Night shows steal all their moves. This is brought up by Nova doing a move called the Sledge-o-Matic. It’s a diving powerbomb where he goes to the side on the landing.

In other words, it’s the same move but with a slight twist that makes zero difference. It’s wrestling guys. People use the same moves quite often. You don’t see a right hand being called a Strangler Lewis Special do you? Now yes, ECW got ripped off more than any other company I can think of, but at times they got ridiculous complaining about it.

I mean really, can you imagine someone complaining about every tiny little thing that goes on at a wrestling show which no one else would have the sheer stupidity to notice since no one else would be such a bored and pathetic human being to think this in depth about such a thing? Can you imagine how pitiful that person really is? DANG they would drive me crazy. What’s the point of picking something apart and blowing the tiniest thing completely out or proportion?

Anyway, this match needs to end as the right lace of Nova’s left boot has a single thread sticking out and it’s driving me crazy. Nova hits a modified tornado DDT that is completely different than the one that Chavo Guerrero had been using around this time, because it was MODIFIED. The BWO wins it with a double team move where Meanie did a wheelbarrow lift into a DDT from Nova called the Blue Light Special.

And here’s Funk again to steal the spotlight, which yes I know that’s fine and the point. I have no problem with it here, but did we need to have him do the stuff during the match? Not that I can see of. Heyman comes out to calm him down. So in other words the ten minute match was all just to set up the Funk angle. Got it. Not that bad of an idea I guess as at least there was a full length match, unlike in WWE where it would have been lucky to go 100 seconds before Funk ran in, so points for that definitely.

Rating: D. It was a long squash and Funk stole the focus at a very annoying rate. I don’t get that but we’re just twenty three minutes into the show so maybe we’ll find out later. This wasn’t a very good match but it got the crowd going, which isn’t really something ECW needs as I always thought they had Red Bull IVs going into them but I get the idea.

After the group split up, Nova would hook up with Chris Chetti as a pretty solid tag team. Nova would be on Cyberslam 1999 in a singles match.

Rod Price vs. Nova

Nova is more famous as Simon Dean. Price is a big muscle guy that looks about 55 years old. Price gets taken down quickly but takes over with basic power. Snap suplex puts Nova down and Price hammers away for awhile. Nova goes to the middle rope and hits a clothesline but can’t get much going overall.

Skull Von Crush (Big Vito), who is Price’s partner, comes out to hammer on Nova a bit as well. Nova’s partner Chris Chetti comes out for the save and it’s a double brawl. Nova hits a baseball slide to Price and then the good guys fire off a pair of dives. The Tidal Wave (splash/top rope legdrop off the same corner) pins Price. Big mess but I like the Tidal Wave so this was fine.

ECW got TV soon after this and Nova would appear on the show on October 22, 1999.

Nova vs. Chris Candido

Gertner makes alcohol jokes about Tammy. They start fast with no one being able to get anything significant in. Candido finally hits him in the face to take over but walks into a backdrop. Flying forearm gets two. Nova is a guy that’s hard to keep up with because he’s not only fast but he does a lot of stuff that no one else did so it’s hard to call the moves. Before anything happens, Doring, Roadkill and Lita run in to beat on Nova for a DQ. This was really short.

Now we’ll get to the team as they had a match on Living Dangerously 2000.

Jado/Gedo vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

I’ve heard incredibly mixed reviews on Jado and Gedo but I think I’ve seen one match of theirs and it was a 6 man. We hear about how great Gedo is and he’s got a decent resume actually with wins over Jericho, Benoit and Malenko. Joey: Nova and Chetti have been together as a team now for a year minus the six months Chetti was out with a back injury. I think that’s grounds for just saying they’ve been together for awhile.

They tag with other people though but it’s all good. The Japanese guys like to mock opponents apparently. Joey can you freaking say who is who? I think Gedo is in the ring but I’m not sure. This show has been such a train wreck I’m not sure. Ah never mind that’s Jado. Gedo has a shirt on. Got it. Nova gets a NICE superkick to the throat of Jado. That looked great and sounded great too.

Chetti tries one and does very well too. His only missed by six inches or so. Cyrus doesn’t know the referee’s name which means nothing at all but I need to fill in some space here. The Tidal Wave hits Gedo to end it. It’s a combination splash and leg drop but both guys jump from the same rope. It looked pretty freaking cool.

Rating: D+. This was just a mess. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was just a total mess. I know I said that already but it’s the only way to put it. Why are the Japanese guys here? Why did Nova and Chetti pick this time to run down? How was a contract agreed to and sanctioned so fast? Yes I know I’m nitpicking but dang man. That’s two in a row with nothing but random match to explain it. That’s not good.

Another tag match from Heat Wave 2000.

Da Baldies vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

And remember, even though Nova and Chetti are the best tag team in ECW, they can’t have the tag belts because we’re not going to have tag champions for about four months. DeVito “hits” a “dropkick” on Nova as we’re actually having something close to a tag match here. Wow Chetti is sloppy. His punches more or less hit their arms. It’s his birthday though so I can’t complain that much. Well I could but whatever.

Nova misses a Swanton and Cyrus says Chetti has educated feet. I wonder who stole that from whom. Nova hits a very nice double piledriver into a helicopter bomb (think the Three Amigos but with piledrivers and a spinning powerbomb to end it). Since that’s a totally awesome move, it doesn’t end the match. The Tidal Wave ends it as I shake my head over these two never winning the tag titles.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as the high flying guys were never in anything close to danger here. These guys are kind of like the MCMG in TNA at the moment but not as tandem based. Still though this was good for them as the Baldies remain completely useless yet employed.

The team would split soon after without having a title reign because ECW didn’t make a ton of sense around this time. Nova would wrestle on the last ECW on TNN show, from October 6, 2000.

Bilvis Wesley vs. Nova

Yeah see what I’m having to deal with for you guys here? Nova and Chetti, the best team in ECW for their last 15 months or so have split up with Nova as the face I think. Commercial #3 and we haven’t had a match yet. There are about 5 empty seats in the front row. Nova is dressed like the Flash here which is one of the few costumes he stuck with.

This should be a squash but it likely won’t be. He’s a bad Elvis impersonator. I mean he makes Honky look good. Joey asks Joel what his strategy is for his match with Cyrus which was five days earlier but whatever. This is just a way for Gertner to make Elvis jokes which are getting over. Nova hits a Swanton for two as this has been going for a good while now but the commentary is more interesting.

SICK enziguri by Nova and Bilvis is almost out. Nova Cain hits and the valet and the wrestler that hangs out with Bilvis break up the pin. Nova is just toying with them here for the most part. School boy gets two. Kryptonite Krunch (modified Emerald Flosion) ends it. Mostly a squash.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here but it’s the last original match on this show as other than this it’s nothing but repeated matches from the PPV. This was nothing of note but Nova is always fun to watch with all of his insane offense. This wasn’t much at all though and it’s a shame that this is what the company had become.

Nova and Chetti would meet in a Loser Leaves ECW match at November to Remember 2000.

Chris Chetti vs. Nova

They were the best team forever in ECW and this is loser leaves ECW. Yeah because we need to split them up before they get too good. Dangerously, as in Lou, Chetti’s manager, runs down Chicago for some basic heat to start. Nova is Spiderman here which is better than the Flash I suppose. Nova busts out a Crossface Chicken Wing of all things. Chetti has a bad back and it gets hurt here.

Lou comes in and Chetti was faking it. What a brilliant man. The crowd is a bit dead here which is saying a lot at an ECW show. Nova is bleeding and Chetti is as well to an extent. The problem with these kinds of matches and this one in particular is that you have to have a team built up high enough to have a match like this mean something. These guys were good but only for a few months and they never won anything. That’s why this isn’t incredibly interesting.

Chetti steals Nova’s move so Nova steals Chetti’s move. Nova just goes insane with punches in the corner, beating the heck out of Chetti. And it’s chair time since this is an ECW match. The fans finally wake up a bit for this due to Nova’s insanity. I don’t think anyone ever actually liked Chris Chetti which is the biggest problem here. Nova hits a double arm DDT but Lou makes the save.

He gets nailed to a nice pop. The crowd is trying so hard to care about this match but it’s just not happening. Why were these guys never tag champions? Nova goes insane and tries rolling piledrivers. He gets two of them but Lou pops him with the phone. Nova kicking out gets a solid pop as well. Kryptonite Krunch from the middle rope ends it and Nova can stay for the remaining two months!

Rating: C-. The fans wanted to like it but this just missed so many times that it never got together. No one liking Chetti hurt it a lot like I said. Nova could have been something special but he was in midcard/tag purgatory forever. This wasn’t anything special though and it never went anywhere. Of course it’s the longest match of the night so far.

After ECW went out of business, Nova would hit the indies for a bit, including WWA Revolution in 2002.

Nova vs. AJ Styles vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Shark Boy vs. Low Ki

Elimination rules here and no one gets an entrance. It’s probably a good thing that they have to tag here. Styles vs. Mamaluke to start and they trade arm control. The camera keeps changing angles and it’s getting annoying. Mamaluke is bleeding from the nose as he hits a German to send AJ down onto his shoulder. Shark Boy comes in to fight Tony and gets clotheslined down.

Nova is standing on the floor, drinking water. Shark Boy hits an atomic drop and bites the place where his knee went. Off to Low Ki who gets atomic dropped as well, but comes back with a kick to Shark Boy’s head before he gets bitten. Daniels vs. Low Ki now and you know the strikes are coming here. A Capo Kick staggers Daniels and Nova gets tagged so hard that he spills his drink.

Apparently Nova is a businessman now. I’ve never seen a businessman in workout pants and no shirt but whatever. He works on Daniels’ arm a bit before it’s back to Low Ki. A double gordbuster puts Daniels down and it’s off to Mamaluke. There are the kicks from Low Ki and a double suplex by Ki and Sharky, but there was no tag so Shark Boy’s cover gets no count.

Things start to break down a bit as Sharky Boy and Mamaluke go to the floor for some dives. They wind up in the crowd (which is carpeted) as AJ pounds on Nova in the ring. Nova hooks a modified Crossface which goes nowhere because they’re not legal. Shark Boy hits a top rope rana on Mamaluke for two, even though the referee’s hand hit the mat three times. Low Ki comes in and hits a cartwheel kick on the distracted Shark Boy for the first elimination.

Off to AJ vs. Low Ki as the camera angles start to show a few details about the “arena”. There’s no ramp that I can see, and all of the seats are opposite the screen. I believe they’re in a theater, which is a really weird visual and atmosphere. Low Ki hits a HARD kick to the head (I’m shocked) but AJ comes back with forearms to the head. Both guys hit cross bodies so it’s off to Mamaluke vs. Daniels.

An STO kills Mamaluke who is a bloody mess. Daniels loads up the BME (I think) but Styles breaks it up for no apparent reason. AJ gets knocked down (I think. The camera direction here is a nightmare) so Mamaluke hits a belly to back off the top for two. Daniels hits the Angel’s Wings for no cover, instead tagging in Styles for the Clash to get us down to four people.

Nova comes in with a backbreaker on Styles for two before it’s back to Daniels vs. Styles. Even before TNA existed this was happening a lot. Styles tags in Low Ki who strikes away even harder on Daniels. Low Ki charges into a spinning electric chair of all things and a top rope elbow from Nova gets two on the kicking dude. Nova goes up and gets crotched, but as Low Ki goes up, he gets elbowed down into the Tree of Woe. Low Ki sits up and pulls Nova down into a rear naked choke while they’re both upside down.

Daniels comes in and is immediately thrown out, followed by everyone going to the floor. Daniels dives onto Low Ki so Styles hits a Shooting Star Press to the floor. This camera work is REALLY annoying as it either keeps cutting away or it has awkward shots of everything. Back in the ring, Low Ki loads up a rana on Nova, but Daniels runs the corner and hits a top rope Rock Bottom on Low Ki for the elimination.

Nova dropkicks Daniels to the floor so it’s Styles vs. Nova legally I guess. AJ is busted too. Everyone is in now and Daniels kicks Nova down and AJ gets two off a neckbreaker to Christopher. Daniels takes AJ down and hits the BME for two. There’s a dragon sleeper to AJ but Nova hooks a standing Last Chancery on Daniels at the same time. Nova grabs Daniels from behind but Styles sunset flips Nova, sending Daniels flying in the suplex.

AJ shoves Nova off the top and counters Daniels’ rana into a middle rope Styles Clash to get us down to one on one. A pair of rollups get two for Nova, as does a Downward Spiral. AJ gets two of his own off a German and Tessmacher’s current finisher (Tesshocker if you’re a big wrestling geek like me). They both go up with Nova hitting a C4 off the top (flipping Downward Spiral) for the final pin. Not much build to that.

Rating: B. Take six young and small guys, throw them in one match, let them have fun. AJ and Low Ki looked like the stars here, which they would be for all intents and purposes. Nova was already a name, Mamaluke never went anywhere, Shark Boy would become a cult favorite, and Daniels would become a decent sized star of his own right. Still though, fun match and AJ looked good in it, which shouldn’t shock anyone.

Nova would be brought into OVW in early 2002 and become quite a big star, including this match against a guy who you might have heard of. I’ll throw in the pre match promo before their match on May 15, 2002.

Nova is in the ring with Jim Cornette and sounds like he’s making his debut. He talks about wanting to get into the ring with the Prototype but says he’s done it a few times already in California. Nova says he’s beaten Prototype three times already in California, but now they’re both two years better. This brings out Prototype to say he’s tired about hearing everyone talk about the next big thing in WWE, Brock Lesnar. Now this Nova guy is the next big thing. Nova wants a fight right now and we get a bell for a title match.

OVW Title: Nova vs. Prototype

Nova hammers away to start and takes Prototype down into a front facelock. A sunset flip gets two on the champion and Nova hammers away with right hands and a hurricanrana. The fans think this is boring for some reason. Prototype comes back with a slam followed by a spinebuster but misses a top rope splash. Nova accidentally bumps the referee and Prototype’s manager Kenny Bolin throws in the briefcase for a hard shot to Nova’s back. It’s only good for two via a new referee and we take a break.

Back with Prototype nailing a hard clothesline and stomping away in the corner. Another hard clothesline gets two and a vertical suplex gets the same. A big side slam gets yet another two count but an atomic drop sends Nova bouncing off the ropes and the second referee gets bumped. Nova nails Kenny Bolin and the first referee comes back in.

A hard shoulder to the ribs has Prototype in trouble and a big kick gets two. Nova plants him with an STO and gets two more off a top rope elbow. Prototype kicks out of a rollup and a Nova crossbody puts the referee down AGAIN. Sean O’Haire runs in to jump Nova but he rams both heels into each other. The Kryptonite Krunch (White Noise) is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It was a bit overbooked but it still worked well enough for the most part. It makes Nova look like a star and that’s all you need to do with something like this. Prototype would be gone from the promotion soon after this as he debuted on Smackdown under his real name: John Cena.

Nova would be a big force in OVW for over two more years before FINALLY debuting in WWE under a totally new gimmick: Simon Dean, a fitness expert. You know, because why bother using the character that worked all those years when you can turn him into an over the top comedy character? Dean would have a match on Raw, December 6, 2004.

Hurricane vs. Simon Dean

Simon is Nova from ECW and had a gimmick where he was a sponsor of Raw and pitched a weight loss system. Just take a guess as to how well this goes. This is his debut match. Simon wants to have an amateur style match so Hurricane rolls him up for two. Simon takes over with nothing significant. This is really the best match they can give us on Monday Night Raw? The King makes fun of TMNT and I hate him already. Hurricane breaks a chinlock and hits some fast paced stuff. The Shining Wizard misses and Dean rolls him up for the pin with tights.

Rating: F. This is the best they can do for Monday Night Raw? Seriously? Yeah that’s all I’ve got here.

In 2005, WWE held an ECW reunion show called One Night Stand. At the end of it, a big brawl broke out and JBL beat the living tar out of Blue Meanie in a shoot. Instead of firing JBL, this was the payoff, from Great American Bash 2005.

Mexicools vs. BWO

Oh where do I begin. Ok so the Mexicools are Juvy, Psicosis and Super Crazy as really stereotypocal Mexicans (ride lawnmowers, carry rakes etc). The BWO is here because at One Night Stand, JBL legitimately beat up Blue Meanie. WWE gave Meanie a job for like two months so he didn’t sue them. This is their only match of note. The BWO comes out on big wheels for absolutely no apparent reason. American Chopper joke maybe?

Juvy vs. Nova starts us off. Things break down and the BWO takes over. Psicosis finally hits a corkscrew plancha to take over on Nova. Back to Juvy as Nova gets beaten down. He Hulks Up (NWO parody remember…..in 2005) and Cole messes up the BWO’s names. Hot tag brings in Richards who cleans house. Side slam gets two on Psicosis. Everything breaks down and Crazy hits a moonsault onto Richards followed by a guillotine legdrop by Psicosis for the pin.

Rating: F. This was on PPV. Once you get that through your heads, you’ll get why this was a failure.

We’ll wrap it up with one more trip to OVW, from May 31, 2006.

Simon Dean vs. Shawn Spears

Dean easily throws him down to start before tripping him to the mat. Back up and Spears cranks on a hammerlock but walks into a big right hand. Not that it matters as a small package out of nowhere gives Spears the quick pin.

Dean loses his mind, breaks a lot of stuff, and hits security with chairs after the match.

Nova is a guy that worked well when he was allowed to be himself but companies kept feeling the need to make him into some over the top character. The Simon Dean issue is the same thing that keeps hurting NXT talent being called up today: why does WWE see them get over down there as one character then switch everything up and blame them for not getting the new character over? Anyway, Nova is a talented guy but bad gimmicks killed him.

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Smackdown
Date: June 20, 2014
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re in the home stretch now for Money in the Bank as the WWE Title ladder match’s lineup is set. However, there’s now a second ladder match which was announced on Main Event. Seth Rollins is the only confirmed name for the match with the rest being announced on Raw. They’re really going to be stretched thin at the PPV as a result. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Cena vs. Kane from Raw.

Here’s Cena to get things going. He points out the titles above the ring and gives us a ten second recap of the last nine months of the titles. That brings us to Money in the Bank and it sounds like the start of a bad joke. “A Mexican, an Irishman, a European, a Duck Dynasty reject, a primadonna and Dudley Do-Right walk into a WWE ring.” Cena says that’s where the comedy stops because he’ll be knocking all of them out at Money in the Bank and taking his title back. So he’ll be knocking himself out?

This brings out Del Rio who says Cena needs to stop talking and start worrying. He qualified first and then he’ll climb the ladder first. Sheamus comes out and says people haven’t forgotten to be afraid of Del Rio. People just don’t care about him at all. Sheamus will leave the PPV as a double champion. Cue Cesaro with Heyman and the latter talking about how Cesaro loves a match where it’s every man for himself because only Cesaro has a full time strategist. I haven’t heard Heyman talk this fast in a long time.

Next up is Reigns with what sounds like new and slower music but it’s very similar to the Shield’s song. He has trouble trusting people anymore but now the only thing that matters are those titles. Reigns doesn’t care who you think you are (looking at Cena), no one is going to stop him. He and Cena stare each other down and John takes off his shirt but Orton interrupts. Randy reminds everyone that he’s the face of the WWE and Reigns is already on the ramp to brawl with Orton. They fight up by the stage while the others brawl in the ring. Sheamus and Cena clear the ring but don’t fight each other. This was fine.

Seth Rollins vs. Kofi Kingston

Rollins has new ring gear, including what look to be dark gray tights and no shirt. Kofi says he wants in the ladder match in an inset interview before we get going. Seth is quickly tripped down and splashed for two before Kofi takes him into the corner for some right hands. Kofi gets sent into the buckle and put in a chinlock about a minute into the match. Back up and Kofi nails a quick cross body for two but Trouble in Paradise hits the ropes. The buckle bomb and a good looking curb stomp put Kofi away at 2:55.

Post match Rollins gets on the mic and says he’ll win the briefcase. Ambrose pops up on screen and says tonight might be the night he gets his revenge on Rollins. If it’s not tonight, then it’s coming soon. Rollins says that might be a good idea if Ambrose didn’t have to face Kane. Dean: “Shut up.” Ambrose promises to take care of both Rollins and Kane.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title. Ziggler wants another chance to be Mr. Money in the Bank. The bad news of the week: everyone else’s chances at Money in the Bank are like the US’s World Cup team: they might have some early success but they’ll fall at the end. A quick dropkick puts Barrett down but he sends Dolph into the corner and kicks him out to the floor. We take an early break and come back with Ziggler fighting out of a chinlock but getting kicked in the ribs to put him right back down.

Some knees to the face set up the big boot in the ropes to put Ziggler on the floor. Back in and JBL references the White Bronco and Roddy Piper vs. Goldust at Wrestlemania XII. A jawbreaker puts Barrett down and a running cross body does the same. That’s about it for Dolph’s offense though as he walks into Winds of Change for two. The Bull Hammer misses and Ziggler grabs a sunset flip for the pin at 4:08 shown of 7:38.

Rating: C. Not enough time to go anywhere but they got in most of their signature stuff. I’m not wild on the ending but it’s nice to see Ziggler getting a clean win over a name. I’d assume both of them will be in the ladder match, but this doesn’t put much confidence in me for Barrett’s title reign.

Ziggler walks into a Bull Hammer post match.

Adam Rose vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus sends him into the corner to start but gets rollup for the pin at 42 seconds.

Titus says ring the bell again and gets rolled up for another pin at 10 seconds.

Kane vs. Dean Ambrose

Rollins is on commentary. Ambrose’s new ring gear is a white undershirt and jeans. It actually suits him well. Ambrose charges at Kane to start but gets sent face first into the buckle. Rollins dares Ambrose to come fight him anywhere as Kane drives knees into the ribs. Dean stops Kane with a boot to the face and a top rope dropkick puts Kane down. A clothesline does the same and Ambrose hammers away in the corner.

Dean escapes a quick chokeslam attempt and gets two off a tornado DDT. Rollins stands up and dares Dean to come fight him but Ambrose sends Kane outside instead. Dean dives on him before going after Rollins, only to walk into an uppercut from Kane. Back in and the chokeslam is good for the pin at 3:34.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to get anywhere but it was more about Ambrose vs. Rollins than anything else. Seth as part of the Authority rather than Evolution works much better as Orton is being phased out of the group anyway and Rollins as the new star isn’t a bad idea at all. Ambrose vs. Rollins will be one heck of a fight.

Rollins curb stomps Ambrose post match.

We recap the opening segment.

Big E. vs. Jack Swagger

Colter talks about Big E. taking a handout last week when Lana distracted Swagger. Big E.’s music cuts him off and we’re ready to go. Swagger takes out Big E.’s leg to start and clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and Big E. runs him over and the Big Ending gets the pin at 47 seconds.

Fandango knocks on the Divas locker room door and tells Layla that they’re up. She says she’ll be right there so Fandango turns around and sees Summer Rae. Summer says she understands why Layla loves him but she loves Fandango more. Summer kisses him and of course Layla comes out and catches them, sending her back into the locker room in tears.

Video on the Special Olympics.

Fandango vs. Bo Dallas

Fandango comes out on his own but Summer runs out to dance with him. He isn’t sure but Layla runs out to jump Summer. Fandango tries to break it up but the girls get in the ring. Layla accidentally kicks Fandango in the head and the girls run to the back. The Bodog gets the pin at 1:16.

Fandango gets a pep talk post match.

The Wyatts pop up on screen with Bray talking about a bunch of mice running around chasing a piece of cheese. Bray is the snake entering the maze and the monster ready to sink its jagged teeth into the world. All he has to do is climb a ladder and take what is his to bring us into the era of Wyatt. Can we please get the writers a thesaurus for some new words other than era?

There will be six other people in the briefcase ladder match to be announced on Raw.

Roman Reigns/Sheamus/John Cena vs. Randy Orton/Cesaro/Bray Wyatt/Alberto Del Rio

Sheamus and Cesaro get things going with the Irishman hammering away in the corner. Cesaro takes him down to the mat before running away when Sheamus gets back up. Off to Wyatt for a slugout with Sheamus with the pale one nailing his running knee lift. Cesaro offers a distraction and Bray takes over. Back to Cesaro who hammers away but Sheamus says bring it on. Cesaro does just that but walks into a powerslam anyway.

Cena comes in for his bulldog, sending Cesaro off to Del Rio for a tag. Alberto does about as well as Cesaro as he’s taken into the corner without putting up any offense at all. Cena tags Sheamus back in and Reigns looks annoyed that he didn’t get the tag. Del Rio gets Sheamus into the corner for a tag off to Cesaro as the heels take over. The Irish Curse out of the corner sends Cesaro to the apron for the ten forearms to the chest.

We take a break and come back with Del Rio getting two on Sheamus off what looked to be a suplex. A chinlock keeps Sheamus in trouble as the fans want Roman. Sheamus shrugs it off and tags in Cena again to work over the now legal Orton. Randy is knocked to the floor and we get the seven man standoff followed by the seven man brawl. Orton brings Cena back inside for the Elevated DDT and stares down Reigns. Cena gets taken into the heel corner for some stomping before it’s off to Bray for the running splash.

Del Rio hits the low superkick but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Cesaro throws him back inside for a fast tag to Orton who powerslams Cena down with ease. Randy hammers away before it’s back to Cesaro for more of the same. A delayed vertical suplex gets two on John and we hit the chinlock. Reigns looks like he’s about to explode on the apron. The fact that Cole described it using the exact same words frightens me a bit.

Cena fights up and suplexs Cesaro down but Swiss Death prevents the tag. Del Rio gets two off the corner enziguri but gets dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down. He’s right back up for another low superkick to stop the tag again though and it’s back to Cesaro. A big right hand knocks Sheamus off the apron but Cesaro is afraid to punch Reigns.

Cena avoids a shot to the head and makes the tag to Reigns for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down with Reigns hitting the apron dropkick but getting sent into a forearm from Wyatt. Del Rio kicks Roman in the ribs but the armbreaker is countered into the spear for the pin at 16:03 shown of 19:33.

Rating: B-. Again Reigns is made to look like a star and treated like a main event equal. I don’t think he wins the title but it’s still too early for him to do that anyway. This did what it was supposed to do and followed a solid tag team formula to get there. Cesaro being afraid to fight Reigns was a great visual too.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another show where most of the stuff went by so fast that it’s hard to grade it. The stuff that did get time was good though, especially the Money in the Bank build. I’m still not sure how they’re going to fill in a card with fourteen people in two matches and four in another but they’ve pulled off harder tricks before. Good building show tonight.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Kofi Kingston – Curb stomp
Dolph Ziggler b. Bad News Barrett – Sunset flip
Adam Rose b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup
Adam Rose b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup
Kane b. Dean Ambrose – Chokeslam
Big E. b. Jack Swagger – Big Ending
Bo Dallas b. Fandango – Bodog
Roman Reigns/John Cena/Sheamus b. Cesaro/Alberto Del Rio/Randy Orton/Bray Wyatt – Spear to Del Rio

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As we’re coming up on Money in the Bank, WWE is kind of on a roll. Raw was a great example of that but there were certainly some issues in there as well. Let’s get to it.

We open with a roster meeting on the stage to set up the major matches tonight. The Authority gives us Cena vs. Kane in a Money in the Bank qualifying stretcher match because Bryan can’t do it (makes enough sense) and a battle royal for the other Money in the Bank spot. Ambrose and Reigns won’t be in the battle royal because they have other matches that we’ll get to later. There wasn’t much to the meeting and it really didn’t need to take place. This easily could have been announced by Cole to save more time for other stuff.

First match up was Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler. They’ve fought a few times on Smackdown and the matches have worked, much like this one here. The interesting thing was the ending though, which ties into the next match as well. Dean Ambrose would hit the ring and attack Rollins for the DQ as Seth was about to win. That’s the logical move as Rollins’ back was turned and Ambrose had his best chance to get in an attack. Rollins escaped but HHH gave Ambrose a match.

Ambrose lost to Bad News Barrett via countout when Ambrose went out to fight with Rollins. The match was good, but the main story here was how awesome Ambrose vs. Rollins feels. This feud is on fire and feels like something that could launch them to a much higher level. It’s a feud based on hatred between two men over a betrayal instead of something contrived and that’s exactly what you should do in a feud like this. The fact that both guys can more than go in the ring makes things even better. I said that it was giving me flashbacks to Rock vs. HHH in 1998 and that’s about as high of a compliment as I can give.

Now we get to the stupid part of the show because this is WWE and it wouldn’t feel right if we didn’t have one. Roman Reigns intercepted and spiked some coffee (in plastic cups for some reason) that Vickie Guerrero was bringing to the Authority. Jumping ahead, HHH would spill his coffee but Stephanie would suck it down and soon get sick, vomiting on Vickie (possibly in a tribute to Ultimate Warrior who did the same in 1992 and would have had a birthday on Monday).

Much like last week with Layla, WWE doesn’t have A TOWEL available and Vickie wouldn’t clean up all night. With Vickie left in charge while HHH got Stephanie to a doctor, Reigns would tell her that she’s getting fired anyway so why not put him in the battle royal. She agreed, completeing Reign’s plans. This doesn’t work for a variety of reasons.

First and foremost, Roman Reigns just isn’t a mastermind like this. Not that he’s stupid or anything, but he’s a muscle and power guy who gets by being physical. Ambrose was the smart and dastardly guy in the Shield and could get away with something like this, but it really doesn’t suit Reigns. They tried this with Kurt Angle back in 2001 when he tortured Austin into giving him a title shot and it just doesn’t fit.

Second, it took A LOT of convenience to make this work. Reigns didn’t know that they would get sick that fast, that they would leave, that they would leave Vickie in charge, that Vickie would go for this, and that Vickie would turn on them for giving her more authority. It’s REALLY convenient that all this worked and it didn’t work for me. Also, did we really need the projectile vomiting? That’s supposed to be entertaining? Insert your own “it’s WWE” joke here.

Bray Wyatt cut a really good promo about how the title would be his happy ending because it means power. This promo made me think that he could win, and that’s exactly what it’s supposed to do. It makes sense for the story and would be the boost that Bray needs. He also made me believe that winning the title made sense which I didn’t buy last week.

Sheamus would beat Bray Wyatt via DQ in a nice brawl when the Wyatt Family interfered. The Usos would make the save as they’re defending against the Wyatts at Money in the Bank. This was fine and made perfect sense, along with preventing either guy from taking a clean loss. See how easy it can be?

Heyman said that Cesaro will win and that’s a spoiler. Simple line but I liked it.

Rusev squashed Heath Slater, who appeared alone and referred to himself as the American Rock Star. It came off as kind of a face turn but it’s not going to make a difference when you lose in 34 seconds.

Kevin Hart was the guest star last night and did fine in his short segment with Adam Rose. He did commentary on a mixed tag with Rose/Summer Rae vs. Layla/Fandango. Nothing to see here and Hart was fine.

The battle royal was next and actually surprised me. The final group included Reigns, Rusev and Bo Dallas among others. Reigns was the fairly obvious winner, but WWE gave us just enough reason to believe that the other two could pull it off that there was doubt. All you have to do is have the smallest doubt and you can get around the obvious result. They pulled this off in the battle royal and the fans LOVED it. There’s a big match between Rusev and Reigns somewhere down the line and it will rock if they build it up properly.

Cena cut a Cena promo on the Authority. Nothing to see here.

Cameron dragged Paige down to a horrible match, which I believe is leading to the Funkadactyls splitting and Naomi getting a title shot. At the end of the day though, Cameron will be around because she’s on Total Divas and is loud, obnoxious and stupid, making her a reality TV star. She’s horrid in the ring though and hopefully the split lets Naomi get some solo time.

Goldust’s partner was Cody Rhodes as Star Dust. This actually worked as they won a quick match over Ryback/Axel (basically wasting all the wins they’ve gotten in recent weeks but that’s WWE for you) with Cody getting the pin. Yeah it’s destined to lead to Cody vs. Goldust, but Cody as Cody Rhodes has never worked so this is as good as anything else. One nice touch: Cody got the pin with a move that used to be called Diamond Dust. Those good things being said, I really don’t get why they split up the Brothers in the first place. They were on fire and having good matches, but now we’re back where we started with Cody in a new gimmick. It’s working though so it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Cena beat Kane after surviving Rollins and Orton interfering thanks to Ambrose making the save. This was one of their better matches but it wasn’t anything all that good. Much like last week, Cena winning was obvious but there’s nothing wrong with that at all. You can’t have a huge multi man title match without Cena and WWE would be crazy to try.

Issues aside, Raw was awesome on Monday and Money in the Bank is looking like one heck of a ladder match. Reigns, Wyatt, Orton and Cena are all realistic options to take the title and that makes things far more interesting than just one or two choices. Reigns as a criminal mastermind aside, this was a good show that made the stars of the future look like huge stars and that’s a great sign going forward.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 16, 2014
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re in Cleveland tonight and the main story continues to be Shield vs. HHH/Orton/Rollins, which doesn’t seem to be Evolution anymore. Other than that we’re getting ready for Money in the Bank with two spots left in the World Title ladder match. John Cena is still without a match for the show, so you can probably pencil him in for a qualifying match at some point this week. Let’s get to it.

First off on a personal note, Happy Birthday Mom.

We open with the roster on the stage and the Authority walking through them to get to the ring. Stephanie knows how hard it is for the fans to not have a WE Champion because the title means so much. Look at her husband, the greatest of all time for proof of how it can immortalize people. Bryan has proven that he’s a B+ player because he didn’t have the heart to defend the title.

This brings HHH to the roster on the stage, because the next WWE Champion might be standing up there right now. Stephanie says tonight is about opportunity because someone will join the Money in the Bank match. Everyone up there will be in a battle royal, minus the Shield because they’ve refused to evolve. Also, John Cena won’t be in the match for reasons not specified. HHH knows Cena loves to help people, so tonight Cena can help the Authority. Tonight Cena gets his own chance to qualify for Money in the Bank, in a stretcher match against Kane.

Comedian Kevin Hart is guest host tonight.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

I think we had a miscue before the break as Kane came out and is nowhere to be seen now. Rollins has some new music and is back in something similar to his Shield attire, though it’s a plain black sleveless top instead of a vest. The hometown boy runs Seth over to start but Rollins slaps him in the back of the head a few times. Ziggler hiptosses him down and out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Rollins puts on a headlock before whipping Ziggler hard into the corner as we take a break.

We come back with Seth getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock. Ziggler escapes and heads to the floor where he blocks a suicide dive. Back in and Rollins hits a quick enziguri but misses the curb stomp, allowing Ziggler to nail the jumping DDT for two. Ziggler hammers away and gets two off a sunset flip before putting on the sleeper. Seth is quicky out but the Fameasser gets two for Dolph. Not that it matters as Rollins hits two straight buckle bombs followed by the curb stomp, but Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 11:06.

Rating: C+. This was getting going but the DQ ending makes sense in this case. Ambrose not coming out there when he knew where Rollins was wouldn’t have made sense so the ending is as logical as you can get. You knew Ziggler wasn’t going to go over Rollins at this point, so there isn’t much to complain about.

Ambrose erupts on Rollins but Seth bails to the floor. Dean tells him to get down here for his beating, but HHH pops up on screen and says he has some bad news for Ambrose.

Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose

This is joined in progress after a break with Dean, in street clothes, hitting a cross body and hammering away on Barrett. I’m assuming this is non-title. A snap suplex gets two on Barrett and we hit the face rip. Barrett comes back with a knee to the ribs and puts on a chinlock, complete with an angry look on his face. Bad News hammers away in the corner but Dean runs him over and fires off right hands of his own to knock Barrett outside. A big dive takes him down again but Barrett takes him inside and clotheslines Dean off the top rope to mess up Ambrose’s bad shoulder again. We take a break with the referee looking at Dean.

Back with both guys still on the floor and Barrett ramming the bad arm into the apron. They head back inside for more arm work until Dean makes a comeback with his good arm. Some right hands have Barrett staggered but he runs into Winds of Change for two. Wasteland is countered into a crucifix but Dean does his bounds off the ropes clothesline to drop Barrett. Dean is feeling the crowd because he’s an awesome face, but Rollins is on the announce table again. The distraction doesn’t work as Barrett is sent to the floor, setting up a double suicide dive from Ambrose. Dean follows Seth into the crowd for the countout at 11:55.

Rating: B-. Nice match here but more importantly Dean is FEELING IT as a face. The guy is just flat out talented and has the awesome visuals that you need to be a star. This feud is starting to make me think of HHH vs. Rock in 1998 and that feud launched both guys into the main event for the rest of their careers. That’s a very, very good sign.

Vickie Guerrero is bringing coffee to the Authority. She runs into Roman Reigns and suggests sugar. Vickie leaves the coffee there and Reigns spikes it with her gone. She sneezes again because that’s her thing now. And people wonder why the writers are mocked.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring. The cell phones for Wyatt’s entrance make for an awesome visual. Before the match Bray talks about how without power, we’re all just little mice running from the lions in the jungle. Power can be addicting because we all need and crave it. Power will be our downfall though because a powerful is to be respected, but a weak man is less valuable than the dirt he crawls through.

Bray’s game is power and that title is all the power he needs. He wants us to look at Harper and Rowan and judge them as you will. Judge them as you want, because at Money in the Bank, they’re taking the Tag Team Titles from the Usos. Bray crawls under the ladder and says at Money in the Bank, he’ll claim his power and his title. Sheamus interrupts and offers to put his boot down Bray’s throat because it’s time to fight.

Bray Wyatt vs. Sheamus

It’s a brawl to start with both guys getting in their own big shots to the head. Bray takes him down and slugs away with Sheamus in early trouble. Back up and Bray’s suplex is slam is blocked into a suplex from the ticked off pale one. Now it’s his turn to hammer away on Wyatt before dropping him with a running forearm. A middle rope forearm staggers Bray and the fight goes out to the floor. The Family is about to get involved but the Usos come out to even things up as we go to a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock to continue the brawl before Bray hits the running crossbody for two. Sheamus hits the forearms on the apron but Bray counters White Noise. A powerslam puts Bray down and it’s Brogue Kick time but the Family interferes for the DQ at 11:16.

Rating: C+. This was the Sheamus Special: put him in there with another power brawler and let them beat each other up for awhile. Bray is looking like a step above a dark horse for the title match and I’d love to see him get the title just to see where things go from there. Nice match here and it’s nice to see no one win in a match where both guys should look strong.

Post match the Usos and Sheamus clean house, including using the ladder as a ramp to dive on the Wyatts. Sheamus throws the ladder at the Family’s head and Rowan looked to take it full on in the face.

HHH accidentally knocks his coffee into Vickie’s face. Stephanie gets hers and says it’s good.

After the break, Stephanie is still drinking coffee and talking about how it’s every man for himself when her stomach gets upset. Because her drink is spiked and she needs a bathroom you see, because that’s what a violent and angry man like Roman Reigns does. Paul Heyman comes in to take Stephanie’s interview time and asks about who could win Money in the Bank. He says it’s going to be Cesaro and that’s a spoiler.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

This time Lana’s speech takes place in the ring. She thinks American men should be ashamed because Rusev keeps running through them and they’re nothing compared to Vladimir Putin. We get a picture of a Russian Mount Rushmore and Rusev can apparently speak English, saying that resistance if futile. Slater actually gets to talk and asks why Lana and Rusev don’t go back to Russia if they love it so much. He’s now the American Rock Star. Heath sactually slugs away to start but runs into a right hand and the jumping superkick. Accolade ends this in 34 seconds.

Vickie is sent in to check on the sick Stephanie and gets vomited on. Vickie is put in charge while the Authority leaves. Screaming ensues. This made me groan out loud.

Reigns goes to see Vickie, who hasn’t cleaned up because, as we learned from Layla last week, showers don’t exist at WWE. Roman says she’ll get fired next week and asks to be put in the battle royal to screw with the Authority. “Fine. YOU’RE IN!” The fans seem very pleased with this.

We get a clip of Kevin Hart’s new movie Think Like A Man Too.

Kevin Hart is talking about the movie when Adam Rose and the Exotic Experience comes in. Rose plugs the movie and says Hart should be a Rosebud. Hart has no idea what he just said but says no. Kevin wants to know why they’re all singing at him and that’s about it.

Adam Rose/Summer Rae vs. Fandango/Layla

Kevin Hart is on commentary. Cole tries to explain why the girls have poured milk and kitty litter on each other and it sounds so ridiculous when you put it into words. The guys get things started as Kevin makes fun of their clothes. Layla tags herself in and we get a catfight but Layla quickly tags out. Summer chases her up the aisle and Rose hits the Party Foul for the pin at 1:25.

Hart joins the Express post match.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Titus O’Neil, Damien Sandow, Bo Dallas, Jack Swagger, Diego, Fernando, Curtis Axel, Fandango, Dolph Ziggler, Rusev, Ryback, Sin Cara, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Roman Reigns, Rob Van Dam, Bad News Barrett, Xavier Woods

Those are all the people on the graphic so there’s a chance I missed a few. Damien is LeBron James because why not. Not that it matters as everyone gets together to put him out ten seconds in. Bo throws Santino out and Rusev does the same thing to both Matadores. Woods gets the same treatment from Rusev and everyone brawls for awhile.

Ziggler is sent to the apron and Reigns eliminates Titus. Swagger puts Sin Cara on the apron before catapulting him out. Kofi can’t get Swagger out and Big E. can’t get rid of Axel. Rusev gets Ziggler to the apron but a kick to the head saves Dolph. Kofi finally gets Swagger out and we take a break. Back with Rusev, Reigns, RVD, Ryback, Ziggler, Fandango, Dallas, Big E., Axel and Barrett still in, meaning Kofi (via Ryback) was the only elimination during the break. Speaking of eliminations, Ryback punches Ziggler out to the floor for his second straight elimination.

Reigns starts cleaning house and even takes Rusev down with a Superman Punch but can’t take care of Ryback that easily. Roman sends Fandango to the apron but has to spear Ryback and Axel down. A kick to the head puts Fandango out and Rusev kicks Reigns in the chest. Big E. dumps Ryback and Reigns throws out Axel. Another kick puts Roman down but Van Dam kicks Rusev in the face. Van Dam and Dallas start fighting but Barrett takes Rob down with a big boot.

Rob comes back with more kicks but Bo shoves him off the corner for a surprise elimination. That could be Bo’s first big feud. Barrett lays out a celebrating Bo and throws him to the apron but Bo hangs on. Nice little call back to the Rumble from a few years ago. Reigns dumps Barrett and Dallas knocks out Big E., but walks into the spear. Dallas is dumped and we’re down to Rusev vs. Roman.

The fans are WAY into this and the slugout is on. Reigns gets the early advantage but walks into a wicked spinwheel kick. They trade running charges in the corner and Reigns puts him on the apron. Some big right hands can’t get rid of the Russian but the Superman Punch sends Reigns to Money in the Bank and the crowd is VERY happy.

Rating: B. I was doubting Reigns for awhile but he’s coming off like a STAR at this point, just like Ambrose. This was a really solid battle royal as there were some good saves and the last bit of the match was really solid stuff. The last pairing is how you should do big matches: take two guys who look unbeatable and have them fight. Notice the reaction and you’ll see why that’s an idea.

John Cena holds up five fingers and knocks down a finger at a time to explain why he should go to Money in the Bank. All that’s left is his index finger, because him being WWE Champion is what’s best for business. Various unfunny references to Stephanie and Vickie were included.

Cameron vs. Paige

Non-title. There’s some story here about Cameron slapping Paige on social media. Paige gets all ticked off to start and throws Cameron around by the hair before driving in some headbutts. Cameron bails to the floor but comes back in with a kick to the ribs and another slap for two. Paige shrugs it off and nails some clotheslines followed by the PTO for the submission at 3:30.

Rating: D. Total snack time match here, but it showed one thing: Cameron is there because she’s annoying on a badly scripted reality show and how she looks in shorts. She couldn’t do even basic stuff competently in there and Paige was carrying everything she could for the match. Nothing to see here and Paige needs better help.

We recap the Rhodes Brothers’ issues. Tonight Cody has found the perfect partner for Goldust. Goldust has met him and says the partner is super and galactic.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Goldust/???

And it’s Cody Rhodes in Goldust paint under the name Star Dust, despite Cody saying it wouldn’t be him last week. The Dusts jump Ryback and Axel to start with Cody hitting a quick DDT on Axel. Ryback is sent to the floor and Cody nails a springboard elbow to Curtis’ head. Something resembling Diamond Dust (ending in a cutter instead of a Stunner) ends Axel at 1:00.

Stephanie helped host the Special Olympics to give her a new charity to work with.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Kane

Stretcher match which is taking place because Cena is replacing Bryan due to injury. Kane easily takes him down to start and stomps away before taking him down to the floor. Cena is quickly off the stretcher and rams it into Kane’s ribs a few times to take over. A hard whip sends Cena into the steps and another puts him into the post to give the monster control again. John is put on the stretcher but gets off before they get too far up the ramp.

Back from a break with Kane still in control but Cena sends him into a chair. Cena goes up, only to jump into a chokeslam. That doesn’t mean much in a stretcher match though so Kane brings in the steps. John dropkicks the leg out though and Kane’s head slams into the steel. An AA off the steps is countered into a DDT but Cena is still dead weight. Kane can only get the stretcher partially up the ramp before Cena fights back and sends him into the post.

Kane whips Cena into the barricade and loads up the table but gets caught in an AA through said table to put the monster down. He’s still a long way from the stretcher though so Cena wisely puts him in a fireman’s carry. Cena gets him to the stretcher but collapses before he can get Kane on it. Cena finds another stretcher from ringside and gets Kane on it but here are Orton and Rollins to put Cena back in the ring. Why they didn’t put him on a stretcher is beyond me.

An RKO lays Cena out in the ring but Ambrose hits the ring to save Cena from a chair shot. Kane is back up though with a chokeslam to Ambrose, leaving us with the people in the match. Cena low bridges Kane to the floor and looks at the steps. We get the throw the steps spot but Kane mostly blocks them with his hands. He goes down anyway though and puts Kane on the stretcher but Kane sits up at the last second. He grabs Cena by the throat but Cena AA’s him back onto the stretcher to go to Money in the Bank at 15:18.

Rating: C-. These two never really worked all that well together but this wasn’t all that bad. I was thinking they wouldn’t go with Cena there for a second but I wasn’t sure what that would leave him with at the pay per view. Hopefully this gets rid of Kane for awhile as there really isn’t much for him to do right now.

Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This show got by on energy alone and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. The parts that were good were REALLY good with the Shield stuff in particular knocking it out of the park. Rollins will be solid in his role but Ambrose and Reigns look like superstars already. The ladder match looks great and there are at least five legitimate contenders to win it.

It’s certainly not a perfect show by any means but the bad stuff was kept to a limit tonight. Yeah the stuff with the coffee was dumb and beyond a stretch, but at least the payoff was more than worth it. I have high hopes for Money in the Bank for the first time and above all else: IT LOOKS LIKE THERE WON’T BE A BRIEFCASE THIS YEAR! I couldn’t be happier about that so I’ll give the show bonus points. Really solid show this week that brought the goods.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Dean Ambrose via countout
Sheamus b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Adam Rose/Summer Rae b. Fandango/Layla – Party Foul to Fandango
Roman Reigns won a battle royal last eliminating Rusev
Paige b. Cameron – PTO
Goldust/Star Dust b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – Diamond Dust to Axel
John Cena b. Kane – Cena pushed Kane over the finish line

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today is someone who isn’t really a wrestler but has had enough matches to make an entry. It’s Easy E himself, Eric Bischoff.

I’ll be jumping over quite a bit as Bischoff doesn’t have a ton of matches to pick from.

There will actually be more stories here than usual as Bischoff didn’t wrestle often but it was a big deal when he did. We’ll start at Starrcade 1997, in a battle for control of Nitro.

Eric Bischoff vs. Larry Zbyszko

With Bret Hart as guest referee. This should have been Hall vs. Larry, as those two had been talking trash to each other for months. However, Larry only gets Hall if he beats Eric here tonight. If Eric wins, the NWO controls Nitro. Larry is in good shape here considering he’s 46 and hasn’t wrestled regularly in about five years. Bret checks them for weapons and we’re ready to go. Bischoff has the body of a 15 year old girl. He is however a black belt in karate so you can expect a lot of striking.

Bischoff hits a quick shot to Larry’s head and immediately celebrates. More strikes follow and Eric heads out to the floor for consultation with Hall. Back in and Larry hits some shots of his own and Eric is scared. Larry goes after him again and Eric hits a spin kick to the side of the head that knocks Larry down. That’s enough for Zbyszko and he charges at Eric and takes him down to the mat. Bret admonishes him for pulling Eric’s hair, so Larry puts on a sleeper and a headscissors, both of which are broken up for being chokes.

Off to a standing figure four but Eric quickly makes a rope. The damage is done though and Larry goes after the leg. Makes sense against a karate guy. Bret keeps Larry away from Eric and the announcers PANIC. Imagine that: a referee following the rules. Eric is sent into the steps and takes a brief walk around the ring. Back in and Bret blocks a right hand from Larry, allowing Eric to get in a kick to the head. Bischoff fires more kicks with Larry on the ropes, although Bret is fine with them.

Eric is starting to kick himself out though as the kicks are getting weaker and weaker each time. Now he fires rights and lefts in the corner as Larry is just covering up. Eric can barely move now and Larry shakes everything off. A suplex puts Bischoff down and Larry ties him in the Tree of Woe. Hall pulls something out of his pocket and loads it into Eric’s shoe, WITH BRET LOOKING RIGHT AT THEM. I mean, he knows what’s going on so why not LOOK THE OTHER WAY???

Anyway, Eric kicks him in the head with the loaded foot and the piece of metal goes flying. Bret isn’t supposed to see it, despite watching it fly through the air. Eric celebrates, so Bret hits both Bischoff and Hall before putting Hall in the Sharpshooter, which is Bret’s version of the Scorpion Deathlock. Larry chokes Eric for a bit and is declared the winner, presumably by DQ.

Rating: F. This was in the second to last spot on the biggest show of the year and featured the boss of the company who has no skill whatsoever in the ring. Larry did fine all things considered, but to waste this spot on this match and to waste BRET HART’s in ring debut on this match is absolutely ridiculous in every sense of the word.

Then in the summer of 1998, Bischof and Hollywood Hogan took over the Tonight Show, setting up a showdown tag match at Road Wild 1998.

Jay Leno/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eric Bischoff/Hollywood Hogan

Thank goodness they don’t have another video package to set this up. The one good thing about this: Liz ROCKING some jeans and chaps. Leno is apparently here to defend his title as King of Late Night. Kevin Eubanks is at ringside. Leno throws water at Hogan and Bischoff on the floor to show how serious he is. Hogan and Page start (thank goodness) and we get the usual non-action headlined by a wristlock.

Page drives in the shoulders and hits a big right hand, knocking Hogan into a left hand from Leno. Hogan is sent to the floor and the ripped Kevin Eubanks sends him into the post. Leno leads a chant against Hogan and is at least into the match. Bischoff comes in and Jay tries to go after him but gets held back. Page shrugs off some kicks to the chest and it’s off to Leno. Bischoff runs away to Hogan and Jay stays in. He points at his chin and makes fun of Hogan’s baldness which is about what you would expect. Leno avoids a pair of right hands and tags in Page.

Hogan clotheslines Page down and it’s back to the driving shoulders. Leno comes back in to grab the wrist and in one of the most painful things I can remember seeing as a wrestling fan, Hogan sells it. He wouldn’t sell for Sting at Starrcade but he’s selling for Jay Leno. Hogan shoves him into the corner and drives in a knee but Leno grabs the wrist again. A double clothesline puts Hogan down and Leno gets two before nearly collapsing into a tag to Page. Ok to be fair to Leno, he did his job and was actually trying. Points for that.

The wrestlers head to the floor and Eubanks steals a chair from Hogan to keep Page in control. Back in and Bischoff gets in a kick to the back of Page’s head to change momentum. Bischoff gets in his shots to make himself feel important before Hogan gets in a shot with a foreign object to give Eric a two count. There’s the big boot but Page gets up before the legdrop and takes Hogan down with the discus lariat.

Leno gets the hot tag and we get the showdown with Bischoff…..who drops Leno with a poke to the eye. Jay comes back with a low blow and some right hands before sending Bischoff into some buckles. Leno is totally gassed and everything breaks down. Hogan hits Bischoff by mistake and Eubanks hits a very good looking Diamond Cutter on Bischoff to give Leno the pin.

Rating: D. Of course that’s on an adjusted scale. This match wasn’t horrible but it was incredibly stupid. Again I’d like to reiterate that Leno did his job to the best of his ability. He did his comedy stuff, took a few shots from Hogan and got the pin on Bischoff. He was bad, but you knew that was going to happen as soon as this was announced. As for the booking, there were a bunch of other ideas they could have gone with here and this was probably the worst possible outcome.

You could have gone with the Battle of the Billionaires idea with Leno backing Page against Hogan in a singles match and done the showdown with Bischoff that way. You could have swapped in Goldberg for Page and done Goldberg vs. Hogan II with the same Leno vs. Bischoff outside stuff. Do that and put Page in the battle royal to get Goldberg’s next challenger. You could have done any of those things and gotten a better result, but it wouldn’t be WCW if they had gone that way.

Here’s one of Bischoff’s most famous moments. Back in 1998, Bischoff suspended Ric Flair for missing a Thunder taping and the fans were LIVID. After about four months of chanting WE WANT FLAIR, Bischoff allowed him to come back for possibly the best moment on Nitro. They argued for awhile and this is the result. From Starrcade 1998.

Ric Flair vs. Eric Bischoff

Bischoff immediately heads to the floor but Flair gets his hands on him against the barricade. The beating is on quickly and they head inside for some choking in the corner. There’s the knee drop to the head and a right hand, which Flair says is for his wife. Ric goes after the knee in the corner but Bischoff gets in a kick to the head that knocks Flair all the way to the floor. He sends Flair into the barricade as Tony gets in the semi-infamous line about how anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Bischoff is a force in that sport.

Flair is busted open as Eric hammers away in the corner. Ric Hulks Up but another kick to the head puts him right back down. It’s nothing that a low blow won’t stop though as Flair takes over. Two more low blows put Eric in the corner and Ric chops away before shoving the referee down. Shattered Dreams has Bischoff screaming and a pair of suplexes make it even worse. The Figure Four goes on but here’s Curt Hennig to nail Flair with an object, giving Bischoff the pin, thereby killing the audience deader than dead. I mean they go SILENT.

Rating: F. For failure. That’s what this match was: a complete failure. This match went against the basic idea of wrestling: the villain runs his mouth and then gets beaten down by the hero at the end of the day. How does this help anyone other than Eric Bischoff? It ticks the fans off, doesn’t make the villain look right, and makes Flair look stupid. That’s fine once in awhile, but it’s the problem for WCW: the hero almost never got his day. It was always a screwjob of some form and the hero was supposed to fight another day. Eventually the fans got tired of waiting though and these moments stopped meaning anything.

As for the match itself, there’s really no logic to it either. Bischoff had WAY too much offense here as a single kick was enough to knock Flair all the way out to the floor. Last year Larry Zbyszko was staggered by some of his kicks but didn’t go out to the floor as a result. The heart attack angle was mentioned in passing by Tony and nothing more, making that almost entirely pointless. But hey, people think Eric Bischoff is a tough guy so everybody is happy right?

And from the next night on Nitro.

Ric Flair vs. Eric Bischoff

Flair being in power for 90 days vs. all of Flair’s possessions. There’s no Bischoff though as we see him in the back saying no way. Eric comes into the arena to get to an exit but the Horsemen are waiting in his limo to carry him to the arena. Nice move. The bell rings and Flair hits Bischoff low before chopping away in the corner. There’s another low blow and some choking as the referee counts especially slow. Not that it matters as Flair throws Charles Robinson down anyway.

The NWO tries to run in but the Horsemen are waiting for them in the aisle. Flair drops some elbows as the Horsemen cut off another group of NWO guys. The Giant finally comes out as the Horsemen are busy fighting and a big headbutt drops Flair. Anderson, Booker T., Konnan and Page come out as a JACKED Randy Savage and a good looking blonde come out in Black and White gear. It’s a swerve of course as Savage hits Giant low and clotheslines him to the floor. Flair suplexes Bischoff down and slaps on the Figure Four to become the boss for three months.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t a match but the angle worked very well. This felt like a big moment and a game changer for WCW. That being said, the question should be obvious: why in the world did Bischoff need to get the win at Starrcade? Either have this match last night or have it be a no contest of some sort. This moment taking place is fine, but how many people remember this compared to Bischoff getting the win at Starrcade? This felt like running back to fix an error and it worked to a degree. However, a lot of the damage was already done due to the fans feeling like they had been punched in the stomach the night before.

We’ll jump ahead over a year for a story that was used to promote the movie Ready to Rumble. From Thunder on April 26, 2000 and the match that ended WCW for good.

WCW World Title: David Arquette/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eric Bischoff/Jeff Jarrett

Page is champion coming in and the winner of the fall gets the title. Bischoff brings out his wife Kimberly as the referee, even though she hates Page at the moment. The brawl is on with the expected pairings and Bischoff beats up Arquette. Back in the ring and Page puts Jarrett down with something off camera but Kimberly breaks a nail instead of counting.

A sitout powerbomb gets the same result, but Kimberly counts very fast on a Jarrett rollup. Bischoff comes back with a smile on his face and the heels take over. Arquette comes back as everything breaks down. Page kisses Kimberly in the corner to freak her out as David spears Bischoff down for the pin and the title via a second referee. I’m getting out of this one as fast as I can.

Rating: F. Nothing more to say.

Since WCW was dying, why not give Bischoff a Hardcore Title shot? From June 5, 2000.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Eric Bischoff

Ernest Miller comes out to kick a chair into Funk’s face for two. Bischoff plays with knunchucks but Funk comes back with a trashcan to the wrestler. He uses it as a shield from the knunchucks before blasting Bischoff in the head. Miller and Eric try to leave but Funk chases after them.

At this point a five minute segment between Kimberly and Miss Hancock took place so we’ll skip over that until the match continues.

Funk wheels Bischoff out in a wheelbarrow as Russo and the Mamalukes are watching in the back. Russo sends them to the ring as Funk is threatening to take his tights down. Thankfully the Mamalukes hit the ring to destroy Terry and put Bischoff on top for the pin and the title. No rating of course but Hancock looked good in between at least.

Then WCW died because of stuff like Arquette as champion so Bischoff went to the WWE. His first match there was on Raw, February 17, 2003 against an old rival.

Eric Bischoff vs. Jim Ross

Bischoff breaks some boards and a watermelon before the match to show how awesome he is. JR comes to the ring in his announcing clothes and Eric makes it no holds barred because he can. He looks at Morely as he says this to really hammer in the idea. Lawler is really worried but of course he stays seated.

Bischoff does some karate poses but gets punched in the face. Morely comes in to beat JR down and puts a cinder block against Ross’ head so Bischoff can kick it in half. This finally brings Lawler down to take Morely down, but a Bischoff distraction lets Morely take the King down. JR is busted open. More kicks put Ross down and Bischoff covers him with a half nelson for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling. I’m not sure what it was, but it wasn’t wrestling. I’d like to point out that we’re spending the last segment of a show showing how Eric Bischoff could be a threat to STEVE AUSTIN. At least with Vince he would have some major backup, but Eric is going to have who? Morely? That’s supposed to be intriguing?

And now, the match that was setting up, from No Way Out 2003.

Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff

Ross comes out for this and is WAY too happy about this match. Eric tries to say that we don’t need to have this match but gets drowned out by glass shattering. The pop isn’t the same but it’s still there. This is his first appearance in like 8 months or so, meaning this is indeed a big deal.

Eric is on his own here. He tries to talk more but Austin beats the tar out of him. We hit on the Austin couldn’t draw argument that Bischoff made in 94. What a shock that young and talented guys like him and Foley were run off and replaced by Beefcake and Duggan when Hogan showed up. The Raw roster is enjoying this it seems.

Austin is borderline ripped here. Mudhole is stomped and it’s of course all Rattlesnake. Eric goes to the eyes and gets his kick to the chest no sold. To the floor for some more pounding as this is exactly what you would expect it to be. Stunner for Bischoff but Austin pulls him up twice. Another Stunner and again Austin pulls him up. The third Stunner does it. Austin does his usual schtick afterwards.

Rating: N/A. Not really a match but short enough to not really be that bad. The idea was to have Austin look like he’s awesome again which is fine but considering his last match would be at the next PPV it’s not like it meant much.

In August 2003, Bischoff got on Vince’s nerves and earned this punishment on August 11, 2003’s Raw.

Eric Bischoff vs. Kane

Eric lays down, gets lifted up for a chokeslam, dropped down with ease, and Kane walks out for the countout at about 30 seconds.

Here’s a slightly better match from Summerslam 2003.

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Eric implies that he screwed Linda several times over that night. This brings out Shane to send Eric into the corner for a beating. Crossface punches send Bischoff to the floor but Shane clotheslines him in the back of the head. Back to ringside and Shane breaks the referee’s count (sidebar: why doesn’t that happen when both guys are on the floor and one guy slides back in at the last second?) before kicking away at Shane even more.

Bischoff is sent into the announce table and stomped down, only to have Coach come in with a chair and turning heel by helping Bischoff. The referee says ring the bell but Bischoff makes it No DQ and falls count anywhere. Shane is sent into the steps for two as Coach is playing the enforcer here. He holds Shane as Bischoff tells the production truck to turn off JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do commentary.

Bischoff starts firing off kicks as Coach does the eternally annoying JR impersonation. This keeps going for awhile until Shane gets in a right hand, only to be dropped by a low blow from Coach. Cue Steve Austin who can’t fight unless physically provoked. Shane shoves Coach into Austin which is enough for the beating to begin. Austin and Shane stomp Coach down in the corner and clear the ring. Austin has the mics turned back on as Shane grabs Eric’s hand and uses it to slap Austin’s face, meaning Austin can Stun Bischoff. That’s not good enough or Shane so he puts Eric on the table for the big elbow for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was a long segment instead of a match. Also to recap how stupid things were at this point, we’re supposed to be interested in Austin/Shane vs. Coach/Bischoff when Austin has equal power to Eric. We also have Stephanie vs. Sable, because EVERYONE wants to see the McMahons dominating the show. This is in addition to Evolution dragging Raw down the drain with the Kevin Nash and Goldberg feuds. See why 2003 is considered so bad?

Here’s a match that would have made a million dollars in 1998 but we got it on Raw, February 24, 2004.

Vince McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Austin is guest referee just to make it more awesome. Bischoff is in his karate gear and offers a handshake. Vince shakes his hand and proceeds to beat the tar out of him with knees to the ribs. Eric fires off some kicks to little avail but Austin breaks up a Vince choke in the corner. The boss slaps Austin and earns a right hand, allowing Bischoff to tee off with kicks. The fight heads to the floor and we get the real point of the match: Brock Lesnar sneaks in and F5’s Austin for the no contest.

It turned out Bischoff had a nephew that was, shall we say, special. Eric verbally abused him for a long time and a match was made at Taboo Tuesday 2004.

Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene

The stipulation will be announced after the match. Bischoff is Eugene’s uncle for your explanation. Eric uses the power of martial arts to start which makes sense to anyone who follows tournament karate, according to Tony Schiavone. He feigns injury and kicks Eugene in the head. It’s Hulk Up time and there’s an airplane spin. The big boot and legdrop ends this.

Rating: N/A. Dang Eugene was over at this point. Even I loved him.

Loser Wears a Dress 21%
Loser is the Winner’s Servant 20%
Loser is Shaved Bald 59%

Oh dear. This would be the end of Bischoff’s black hair. Coach tries to talk Eugene into accepting the servant thing for five minutes. And here’s Vince, apparently interested about something. Dang Nick Dinsmore played that character to perfection. Vince says that the crowd has spoken so the shaving is happening.

Eugene does the cutting and Bischoff’s face is great. Coach gets put in the dress for no apparent reason. Vince tells him to take his shirt and pants off. I honestly wonder how many other men he’s said that too over the years. The mannequin the dress was on has balls. Vince: “Button that dress up! Don’t be a sl**!” Vince sees the gray roots of the hair and has a field day with it. He totally steals the show here and it’s great.

Bischoff would be Raw GM for the better part of ever. John Cena came to Raw in 2005 and since it’s WWE, they tried to make it Vince vs. Austin. Here’s Bischoff’s required title shot on Raw, October 3, 2005.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Eric Bischoff

Angle is here with Bischoff. This was at a period where Batista was the biggest star in the company but Cena was on the rise. At this point, Cena was still pretty much a guy just barely not in over his head. He would grow up a lot over the next six to eight months and become the John Cena that we all know today.

Eric’s kick is countered and remember that it’s No DQ. Cena never takes his eyes off Angle. Angle tries to interfere and Eric gets in some kicks. There’s the Shuffle but Kurt comes in. The Slam is countered but the FU is broken up by a low blow. Angle misses a chair shot and hits himself by mistake. FU ends this clean. This was like two minutes long.

What Bischoff collection is complete without this disaster from Survivor Series 2005?

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Yes this is real, yes it’s happening on PPV, yes we’re supposed to ignore Bischoff being a martial arts expert from WCW and thing Teddy might have a chance in a straight fight, and yes this is going to SUCK. Teddy has some network consultant with him named Palmer Cannon who never lasted long. They’re both GM’s if that wasn’t clear. Teddy poses a lot on the corner and we haven’t had any contact after a minute. Teddy dances a bit and Eric misses a kick. There’s more dancing and no contact still.

We do the exact same thing AGAIN before Eric chokes Teddy with his sash. There are two referees in there for no apparent reason. Eric chokes away but Teddy takes off his shoe and whacks Eric in the head. Bischoff goes to the throat to stop Teddy again…..and here’s the Boogeyman. If you’ve never seen him, picture Darth Maul from the first Star Wars prequel if he ate worms. He sneaks up on Eric and lays him out with a pumphandle slam, giving Teddy the pin.

Rating: S. Six minutes. This match took SIX MINUTES. The WWE owes me six minutes of my life back. John Cena vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship can only get thirteen minutes but this gets SIX? Who in the world thought this was a good idea? At least it went by….no actually it didn’t go by fast. This won worst match of the year and I can’t argue at all.

We jump WAY ahead to TNA now for a pair of matches from the Immortal days, which really need no introductions. We’ll start with Impact on May 19, 2011.

Generation Me vs. Matt Hardy/Eric Bischoff

No entrance for Gen Me.  Matt vs. Jeremy to start us off and Matt uses his size advantage to take over.  Gen Me speeds things up as is their custom and work on Matt’s arm.  Matt takes over for a bit but since it’s more or less a handicap match, Gen Me takes over again with double teaming.  Poetry in Motion to Matt and Jeremy takes him down with a spear.

Matt fights back but both guys do down.  Matt wants a tag and Bischoff freaks, allowing Jeremy to hit a frog splash to Matt’s back for two.  450 attempt eats knees as we’re told that Foley and Hogan will be here next week.  Ice Pick, that double underhook chokeout by Matt has Max out cold so Bischoff comes in for a kick and the academic pin at 6:07.

Rating: D. The match sucked and the burial/elimination of the X Division continues.  I’m not complaining, but at the same time is there a reason that on a show about the rebirth of wrestling to have Eric Bischoff get a pin?  The match itself was bad on top of that but I’ve seen worse.  The Bucks using high spots is always a plus.

From Lockdown 2012.

Lethal Lockdown

Team Eric: Eric Bischoff, Gunner, Bully Ray, Kazarian, Christopher Daniels
Team Garrett: Garrett Bischoff, AJ Styles, Mr. Anderson, Rob Van Dam, Austin Aries

I was worried this would close the show so this is a nice surprise. This is TNA’s WarGames match and if Garrett’s team loses, he’s out of TNA. If Eric’s team loses, he’s out and can’t use his name in wrestling again. Three minute opening period then two minutes for each one after that and Team Eric has the advantage. Gunner and Garrett start of course and it’s power vs. speed.

Garrett tries to avoid the power but after a missile dropkick, Gunner takes over by running him down. Into the corner and Gunner hits a running knee to the head. No pins or submissions until all ten are in remember. He rams Garrett into the steel and Bully Ray is out next for a two minute advantage. Gunner holds him for a running boot to the chest. This is pure dominance for about 90 seconds until Austin Aries is in fourth. The fans were cheering his name so they’re giving the people what they want.

Aries EXPLODES on Ray in the corner and gets in some shots on Gunner as well. At about a minute in he runs into a boot and Ray takes over. Garrett stays in the corner where he belongs as Aries, the actually good wrestler, does the work. A missile dropkick puts Ray down and Kazarian, with a nearly shaved head, is in next. The fans chant that he looks stupid and it’s a three on one beatdown of Garrett. Gunner chokes Aries as Kaz fires off kicks to the ribs of Garrett.

AJ evens things up as this is in classic WarGames formula already. Kaz tries to meet him coming in but AJ slams the door on his head. Pele takes Gunner down but Ray runs him over. Sweet dropkick takes Ray down and everyone pairs off. Here’s Daniels for another advantage. It’s 4-3 at the moment and Daniels gives Team Eric the big advantage. Ray pulls off his belt and Garrett takes a whipping.

Anderson is the fourth guy for his team so there’s just Eric and RVD to go. It’s the heel beatdown again but AJ manages a nice suplex on Ray. Now back to your regularly scheduled beatdown with thirty seconds to go before Eric comes in. Here’s Eric in business casual attire. He holds Garrett for a big chop from Ray and Gunner gets in one as well. Eric and Daniels talk trash as the clock counts down.

Here’s Van Dam and he cleans house. There hasn’t been a lot of that in this match so far. There hasn’t been much to commentate on because it’s been 17 minutes of punching and kicking so far. That’s what these matches usually are so it’s not a shock, but it’s still not that interesting. Eric hides in the corner and here come the weapons. The match basically resets here as everyone gets a weapon and Team Garrett takes over.

Daniels takes a bunch of weapon shots and Aries stomps away on Ray. Eric gets dragged in by AJ and Austin and the beating commences. Van Dam loads up the Five Star but Gunner crotches him. Ray lawn darts Aries into the cage but Anderson comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to Daniels. Kaz gets the spotlight now as he beats up everyone before focusing on AJ.

Kaz monkey bars across the top of the cage but AJ follows him and kicks him down. He drops an elbow down on Kazarian and RVD hits the Five Star. Ray takes Van Dam down but picks up a chair. YOU DON’T PICK UP A CHAIR IN A ROB VAN DAM MATCH! Van Daminator puts him down but Daniels pops up to take Van Dam out. Daniels goes after Garrett but Garrett hits his falling Diamond Cutter.

He covers Daniels but Eric grabs a kendo stick to pound away on him. Eric insults his own wife by calling Garrett an SOB and beats Garrett half to death. The fans want blood. Eric is the only one up at the moment. Garrett pops up and guitars Eric for the pin at 26:04 to get rid of Eric for I’d say three months or so. That was completely out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. This was probably the worst Lethal Lockdown I can ever remember. There was A LOT of punching and kicking and no big spot at all. Also the whole thing here was supposed to be about Garrett’s big comeback but really all he did was pop up after a bunch of kendo stick shots, hit Eric once and pin him. Naturally that probably means more TV time for Garrett because that’s what the fans are screaming for in Eric’s ears, but that’s life in TNA. Getting this out of the way first was a good idea though.

It was this or Barry O. What do you expect me to do? Bischoff isn’t a wrestler, but somehow he’s had multiple World Title shots, a title reign, and several wins over Hall of Fame caliber wrestlers. Funny how that works isn’t it?

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He’s got the whole world in his hat. Today is Bray Wyatt.

Bray is the son of wrestler Mike Rotundo (IRS) and got his start in 2009. We’ll pick things up on June 14 of that year on FCW television. Bray is going by Duke Rotunda and is a blond here.

Jon Cutler/Lance Hoyt vs. Vic Adams/Duke Rotundo

This is Adams/Rotundo’s TV debut. Duke runs over Cutler with ease before cranking on a headlock. Off to Hoyt vs. Adams with Vic cranking on the arm to take over. Hoyt drives him into the corner so Cutler can get in a cheap shot from the apron, setting up Lance’s wicked release high collar suplex.

Back to Cutler for a one armed camel clutch and a chinlock before Lance comes in again to hammer away. Adams finally avoids a charging Cutler and dives into the corner for the hot tag to Duke. The running backsplash gets two on Cutler as Hoyt breaks up the pin. Everything breaks down and Adams hits what looked to be a Rock Bottom for the pin on Cutler.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note but it worked well enough. Adams had a decent look and some nice power but Cutler was as generic as you can get. Duke had the best look of the four and even then it wasn’t anything all that great. That being said, this is what FCW is about: getting people ring time.

Duke would hook up with his brother and win the FCW Tag Team Titles soon after this and defend them on September 6, 2009’s FCW TV.

FCW Tag Team Titles: Bo Rotundo/Duke Rotundo vs. Vance Archer/Dylan Klein

Archer is Hoyt under his more famous name and this is the first title defense. Bo cranks on Klein’s head to start before driving some shoulders into the ribs. Archer pulls him off the apron to send Bo face first into the apron before dropping a leg back inside. The challengers take over with Klein getting two off a snap suplex. Bo slips into the corner for the hot tag to Duke, who does the splits to avoid a cross body. Everything breaks down and Duke hits a swinging Rock Bottom for the pin on Archer.

Rating: C-. Not a great match again but the Rotundos looked better than Duke and a random partner. This was also much more about showcasing Duke than anyone else as he got the hot tag and then cleaned house for the win. It seems to be the right call a few years later too as he’s the biggest star of the four.

Rotundo would be one of the rookies on the second season of NXT. One of his first matches was on June 29, 2010.

MVP vs. Husky Harris

Harris is 0-1. They go really slowly to start. Harris apparently is mad at Rhodes for embarrassing him on Friday. Crowd isn’t that thrilled here. Mark Henry is on assignment apparently. Dang Harris is a dull guy to watch. This is just a slow and boring match with NOTHING of interest going on in it. Harris misses his back splash as the crowd is DEAD. When Ballin is barely able to get a pop you can tell the match sucks. MVP hits a Downward Spiral and Harris is 0-2. Dang I hate that move too. Harris won’t shake MVP’s hand post match.

Rating: F. This was just boring. No one thought Harris had a chance and no one cared at all. This did nothing at all and deserves to fail. Even the overrated Ryder could have gotten a better match out of him here. MVP isn’t the guy you want carrying a match and here is your proof.

Here’s a slightly better match from July 27, 2010.

Kaval vs. Husky Harris

This should go short as it’s getting close to 10:45 and we have a poll to do. Kaval was at a Lady Gaga concert apparently with Laycool. We talk about the Cowboys for a bit regarding the Dez Bryan/Roy Williams incident which was overblown. Kaval uses stuff other than kicks here which is a nice perk for him. Laycool gets knocked to the floor and Kaval checks on them. A reverse suplex and the back splash end it with Harris getting the win.

Rating: C-. Kaval uses stuff other than just kicks here which is a big step up for him. That’s his main issue: he needs to vary up his offense which is what he did. Harris is still not someone I can get into but I can tolerate him more now than I could before. This was fine for what it was and Kaval showing concern for his pros was cool.

Harris would join the Nexus in the fall and have a pretty high profile match on October 18, 2010’s Raw.

John Cena/Randy Orton vs. Husky Harris/Michael McGillicutty

Nexus comes out to stand on stage. Michael and Cena start us off as Cena hits a release fisherman’s suplex where McGillicutty lands on his back. Back and it’s Orton hitting his perfect dropkick on the perfect son. Not much going on here as you’re just kind of waiting on the big thing to happen. McGillicutty hits his neck snap off the middle rope which was kind of nice. Hot tag to Orton who comes in to beat the heck out of everyone. He points at Barrett and sets for the RKO. BIG FU to Harris and the RKO ends McGillicutty. Cena has a big old celebration and is clearly rather happy.

Rating: C. Average stuff here and the ending was appropriate. There was no way the Super Friends were losing here and they shouldn’t have. This was of course to set up the post match angle which is fine. Using a match to set up an angle is fine and it worked rather well here I though. Average match and nothing special but nothing bad either.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Harris being back in FCW and look at one of the big matches in his long feud with Percy Watson.

Husky Harris vs. Percy Watson

Lumberjack match. Harris slugs him down to start but Percy knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Harris gets caught in a headlock but he drives Watson throat first into the top rope. Back up and we hit a chinlock on Watson followed by a chinlock. Watson fights up and hits some dropkicks but his enziguri gets caught in a half crab. That goes nowhere so Percy fights up and hits a floatover DDT for two. A reverse DDT puts Harris down again but Michael McGillicutty puts his foot on the ropes. Watson is sent outside again and the distraction allows Harris to hit the release Rock Bottom for the pin.

Rating: D. This was really dull stuff due to the lack of any real anger. If we’re going to have a lumberjack match, it needs to be over two people that can’t stand the sight of each other. Watson was energetic, but at the same time I find it hard to get interested in someone named Percy. It’s just not that interesting of a name.

Here’s a match that would be WAY different today. This took place at Wrestlemania XXVIII Axxess.

Bo Rotundo/Husky Harris vs. Damien Sandow/Antonio Cesaro

Rotundo is of course Dallas and Harris’ real life brother. Sandow has Summer Rae with him. Damien is called a Diva due to his manly pink trunks and gets to start with Harris. They fight into the corner with Sandow hiding several times in a row. A big right hand puts Sandow down and he hides with Summer in the corner again.

Cesaro comes in and wants Bo but first demands SILENCE. The brothers double team Cesaro for a bit until a Sandow distraction lets Antonio knee Bo to the floor. Sandow comes in and hammers away for a bit before it’s back to Cesaro for more stomping. Bo breaks out of a front facelock from Sandow and makes the tag to Harris. House is cleaned and some misdirection lets Bo spear Sandow for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here but to be fair it wasn’t supposed to be anything of note other than to give the live fans something to see. It’s so strange to see Harris as a face knowing what he’ll become in just a year or so. Bo using a spear just didn’t work at all given how small he is.

We’ll jump ahead a bit now as Harris was repackaged as Bray Wyatt, a swamp preacher and borderline cult leader. We’ll pick him up on February 20, 2013 on NXT after Bray returned from an injury.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a good idea as the Wyatt Family lost last week, so having Wyatt himself get in the ring, I believe for the second time on NXT, is a way to redeem the Family. Wyatt no sells everything and throws Tatsu down with a wicked release Rock Bottom. A BIG running splash crushes Tatsu in the corner and a fast spinning Downward Spiral gets the pin at 1:37. Total squash.

Bray and his Family (cult followers) would debut in WWE in early June and set their sights on Kane. Wyatt’s debut match in WWE was a Ring of Fire match against Kane at Summerslam 2013.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt and his Family debuted a few weeks ago and attacked Kane. Tonight the ring is surrounded by fire to prevent interference but you win by pin/submission. This is Bray’s in ring debut. Kane pounds him into the corner to start and clotheslines him down, sending the flames shooting into the air. The Family tries to get closer to the ring and there goes the fire again. Nice touch. Bray charges right at Kane and pounds away but can’t hit a suplex.

Kane suplexes him down instead, sending the fire up again. Bray avoids the low dropkick but misses a charge, sending himself into the ropes and near the flames. Wyatt crushes him in the corner with a splash and mostly misses a cross body. They’re lucky that the flames are covering up a lot of these misses. Bray slugs his way out of a chokeslam but Kane “hits” a big boot. Are the flames really messing them up that badly? That’s like three moves that have mostly missed. Kane side slams him down for no cover but Bray gets in a shot to take Kane down.

Wyatt asks for a weapon but as Harper loads up a kendo stick the flames go up, catching the stick on fire. Firemen put it out so Rowan steals the extinguisher, but it has no effect. There’s the chokeslam to Wyatt but Kane hits a second one for revenge. He calls for the tombstone but the Family puts a blanket over the flames, allowing the monsters to come in and beat Kane down. There’s no DQ though so this is all legal. Kane is destroyed and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 7:49.

Rating: D+. This was disappointing. The visuals were cool but just putting a blanket over the flames was a pretty lame way to have the monsters get inside. I was expecting something a bit more supernatural instead of fire safety tips with the Wyatt Family. Also what was up with those botches?

Next up for Bray was the white hot Daniel Bryan, who had joined the Wyatts for about two weeks before rebelling against them, setting up this showdown at the 2014 Royal Rumble.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

The Family is with Bray here, despite the idea of the match being that they’re not supposed to be here. Daniel fires off kicks to the leg and takes Bray down with a running knee but Bray gets in a shot of his own to take over. The Wyatts get in a few blows of their own and are ejected, with Bray saying he doesn’t need them to fight this war. Back in and Daniel gets in some kicks to the leg and a high cross body for two, only to be sent to the floor. Bray misses a charge into the steps and injures his knee again, giving Bryan the opening he’s been needing.

Daniel hooks something resembling an Indian Deathlock before stomping Bray’s face into the mat for two. They slug it out on the apron with the fans chanting YES/NO in time. Bray headbutts Daniel to stagger him and wrings his arm down onto the apron to take over. Back in and Bray is in serious mode now. We hit the chinlock but Daniel quickly fights up with forearms, only to be backdropped to the floor.

The annoying fans chant Jerry Lawler as Bray rams Daniel’s head into the post and drives in forearms for good measure. A running senton backsplash has Daniel in even more trouble and Bray asks the fans why they don’t help him. Bray catapults Daniel throat first into the ropes and we hit another chinlock. Wyatt does his spider walk out of the corner and the announcers of course laugh at Linda Blair jokes. He stays on Daniel’s neck with another chinlock but Daniel gets in a shot to the head and shakes the ropes before firing off even more strikes.

A drop toehold sends Bray into the middle buckle and there are the YES Kicks to the chest and leg. Daniel hooks a hurricanrana from the middle rope to send the big man flying but he’s out at two. Now the fans are into it by saying this is awesome and there’s the moonsault in the corner. Daniel loads up the clothesline but thankfully Bray knows what’s coming and hits a running elbow to stop Bryan’s comeback.

Bray misses a charge and falls to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit a running tornado DDT off the apron. Awesome looking move. There’s the running dropkick to knock Bray into the barricade and the missile dropkick puts him down back inside. Now the real YES Kicks have Bray in even more trouble as the fans are going nuts. The big kick to the head gets two and Daniel loads up the running dropkicks in the corner but Bray clotheslines him inside out for a very near fall.

Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two and there’s the YES Lock but Bray bites the hand for the break. Bray’s superplex is countered with headbutts and Daniel hits a top rope splash to crush Wyatt. Daniel loads up the running knee but Bray bails to the floor. Bryan dives at him with the FLYING GOAT but Bray catches him in midair and hits a wicked Sister Abigail into the barricade. Sister Abigail connects for the pin at 21:37.

Rating: A. Well that was awesome. This was a good example of a match where both guys could look great and only one could win. Daniel losing here isn’t a bad thing as he could still come back later and win the Rumble to make up for this. Both guys look better coming out of this and Bray was the one that needed the win more. As soon as he loses, a lot of his mystique is gone. Outstanding match here and something Bray needed.

With the Wyatt Family totally dominant, there was only one team that could take them on: Shield. This was the biggest match of the night at Elimination Chamber 2014.

Wyatt Family vs. Shield

The Wyatts take their sweet time as is their custom and we get a long staredown as the fans think this is awesome before busting out the dueling chants. This is what you get when you actually build up a feud to the point where you can’t imagine either team going down clean. Ambrose jumps the Family and the Shield clears out the ring before the opening bell.

Rowan vs. Rollins gets things going with Erick being drokicked into the Shield corner before it’s off to Reigns for a pop. He’s out just as quickly as it’s back to Rollins who gets his head taken off with a clothesline. Harper comes in for some hard right hands before it’s off to the boss for some knees in the corner. Rollins is thrown into the corner and the tag brings in Reigns. You can feel the fans get excited for this showdown.

They trade right hands with Bray getting the worst of it so a tag brings in Harper. Luke can’t suplex Reigns so Roman counters into one of his own and brings in Dean. Ambrose pounds away in the corner before it’s back to Reigns for two off a HARD right hand. Dean gets two off the dropkick against the ropes and it’s back to Seth for a headbutt to Luke’s back. The Shield starts their fast tagging with Dean coming in to rake his forearm over Luke’s face. A middle rope elbow to the jaw puts Luke down but Rowan offers a distraction, allowing Harper to hit a dropkick of all things.

Bray gets the tag to pound away on Dean as the Family takes over again. A running splash in the corner crushes Dean and it’s back to Rowan for the head vice with two fists. Rowan gets two off a side slam and brings Harper back in, only to have Dean grab a swinging neckbreaker to get a breather.

Rollins comes back in with a nice running dropkick but he gets caught on the top rope. Luke loads up a reverse superplex but Seth lands on his feet and sends Harper to the floor for a suicide dive. Back inside and the top rope knee to the side of the head puts Harper down again and Seth has a fired up look in his eyes. Harper kicks his head off for a very close two and it’s back to Bray after the best sequence Rollins has ever had in WWE.

Bray sends Rollins outside and hits the running backsplash on the floor before it’s back to Rowan. The dueling chants begin again before the fans say they want tables. Back to Harper who hammers away in the corner and scores with a running clothesline. Wyatt demands to be tagged in but runs into a boot in the corner. Rollins goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a chokeslam of all things for two. Ambrose tries to make the save but Harper kicks his head off, sending him to the floor.

Rollins finally gets in a shot to Harper’s head and the hot tag brings in Reigns to clean house. A Samoan drop puts Rowan down but Harper saves his partner. There’s the dropkick from the floor for two on Erick as everything breaks down. Dean takes Bray down and hammers away before dropkicking him out to the floor. Harper dives through the floor to take out Ambrose but Rollins hits a swanton dive over the top to take Luke out. Reigns rolls up Erick for a VERY close two but they clothesline each other down.

Seth loads up the Spanish announce table but Bray decks him from behind. Ambrose saves Rollins from being sent through the table and takes Bray into the crowd with another charge. AWESOME stuff here. Rowan and Reigns slug it out and Roman goes shoulder first into the post, only to come back with a running clothesline for two. Rollins hits Harper with a monitor to the ribs but Bray comes back and loads up the other announce table. Rowan takes Reigns down in the ring and sends him to the floor with a fallaway slam.

The Family has Rollins surrounded and the monsters double chokeslam him through the announce table. Ambrose is still gone so it’s pretty much Reigns vs. all three Family members. They slowly get back in the ring and Roman sees what he’s up against. He goes right for Bray but the numbers are too much for him.

Harper kicks Reigns’ head off and drops to his knees for the tag off to Wyatt. Bray does his upside down thing in the corner but Reigns powers out of Sister Abigail and Bray is terrified. Reigns goes into Beast Mode and Samoan drops Bray before hitting Rowan and Bray with Superman Punches. The spear puts Harper down but Wyatt runs Reigns over, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 22:45.

Rating: A+. When you expect a match to be one of the best match you’ve seen in a long time and get blown away, you’ve seen something special. This was outstanding stuff and had me glued to the screen which doesn’t happen every day. Outstanding match where neither team looked bad at all. Find this match if you didn’t catch it tonight.

Bray would set his sights on John Cena, attacking him later in the night. The showdown was at Wrestlemania XXX and the battle was over Cena’s legacy as a hero.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray is played to the ring in an awesome visual, complete with barrels fire, what appears to be a voodoo woman dancing with swords and I believe an altar. No special entrance for Cena this year but he gets more booing than cheers. The cheers are there though. Bray bounces on the middle rope to start before kneeling in front of Cena and begging John to be a monster and hit him. FINISH ME JOHN! Cena says get up and fight before taking Bray down with a headlock. Bray headbutts Cena several times to take over while shouting a lot.

An elbow drop gets two and he asks the fans if this is their hero. Cena comes back with a HARD clothesline before looking furious in the corner. He hammers away on Bray but Wyatt laughs and invites Cena to do more. John drives in more right hands, drawing Harper and Rowan to the apron. Wyatt keeps laughing (very 1998 Raven) and Cena isn’t sure what to do. He chokes away which is exactly what Bray wants as Cena is unleashing the monster inside. A big boot drops Bray but Cena is angry at himself for losing control.

Bray lifts Cena up for a suplex but slams him down instead in a cool visual. John comes back with a dropkick but gets caught in a sleeper. It shifts into a chinlock but Cena counters with the ProtoBomb. He loads up the Shuffle but Bray bridges up into the spider stance. Fans: “THAT WAS CREEPY!” Bray runs him over and conducts the crowd as the arm swaying begins. Cena comes back with a tornado DDT but the Fameasser is countered into a wicked powerbomb for a very close two.

Cena comes back again and hits the Shuffle but Bray counters the AA into a spinning gutbuster for two. Bray takes him to the apron for a DDT and another near fall as the fans starting singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. Now THAT is a creepy moment. John is able to fight out of a superplex and loads up the Fameasser, only to dive onto the Family instead. Bray is right back on him though and sends Cena hard into the steps. Wyatt says he’s figured it out but gets knocked down by a hard shot.

Now we get to the interesting part as Cena picks up the steps but can’t bring himself to embrace the hate. Back in and the hard cross body gets two for Bray and it’s time for more singing. He misses a backsplash though and Cena nails the AA for two. This kicking out of finishers thing is really getting old. Rowan tries to interfere, allowing Harper to superkick Cena down. Now the backsplash gets two and Bray is getting frustrated.

He sends Cena outside so John spears Luke through the barricade for some revenge. That’s what Bray wanted though so he throws Cena back inside and bends over backwards in the corner. Sister Abigail is countered into the STF but Bray makes the ropes. Back up and a quick Sister Abigail is good for two. Wyatt is smiling again and heads outside to load up the announce table.

Then he goes over to get a chair (giving us a visual of Harper still out cold two and a half minutes after he was laid out) but slides it to Cena instead. Bray gets on his knees and tells Cena to hit him. This is the big moment as John heavily thinks about it but is able to control himself and knock Rowan off the apron with the chair instead. Sister Abigail is countered into an AA for the pin out of nowhere at 22:28.

Rating: B. The match was the usual big match style here with both guys hitting all their big stuff. However the important part here was the psychological war instead of the physical aspect. I’m REALLY not sure on Cena winning, but the story is clearly going to continue in some gimmick matches. That’s where Cena can be pushed even further and go too far with the violence ala Magnum vs. Tully where Magnum went nuts and then realized what he did.

The match worked well enough but the ending leaves a lot of questions to be answered. The biggest of all though is what happens to Wyatt. Hopefully the magic isn’t gone after the loss but we’ll find that out very soon. He’ll be way over in his home state and the gimmick is cool enough to keep him over for years.

After Cena got the better of him at Wrestlemania, they met again in a cage match at Extreme Rules 2014.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

The fans sing John Cena Sucks to the tune of his music. Bray gives Rowan and Harper some instructions before the match gets going. He shouts that this is what Cena wanted but gets caught in a headlock. Cena jumps over Bray coming off the ropes but Wyatt just blasts him in the back with a forearm. A release fisherman’s suplex puts Bray down but Harper stops Cena from climbing the cage, allowing Bray to take his head off with a right hand.

Cena goes face first into the cage and Bray demands that he spologize to all these people for making them watch this. Rowan rams into Cena against the cage and Bray runs him over for two. John comes back with a catapult into the cage but Bray pulls him back in over the top. They slug it out on the top with Cena winning but Bray crotches him down on the top rope to take over again. We get the old dancing with the limp body spot before a release Rock Bottom gets two for Bray.

Cena comes back with a slam and tries to climb out but Bray does the spider walk towards the door. The running body attack gets two for Wyatt and a few rams into the cage have Cena in more trouble. A reversal finally sends Bray into the steel, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. Bray escapes the AA and tries to climb but Cena pulls him off the ropes with a Batista Bomb for two.

John calls for the door to be opened but Rowan closes it right back. It turns into a test of strength with Cena winning until Harper comes over to help. Cena shoves BOTH of them away from the door but Bray is back up with a jawbreaker for the save. Another ram into the cage puts Bray down again but Rowan shoves Cena back over the top of the cage.

Wyatt is back up as well but gets bulldogged off the top for two. Now it’s Harper climbing the cage for a fight with Cena, so John pulls him down into the cage. Cena kicks the door onto Bray’s head but Rowan is waiting with a chair. John climbs back in and gets caught in the suplex slam followed by the senton backsplash for two. Sister Abigail is countered into the STF but Bray crawls to the door.

Cena lets go because of the ropes being in his face which is better than a rope break at least. Harper is sent into the cage but Bray sends Cena in as well. He climbs up but gets pulled back down for an AA off the top, only to have Harper make a save. A clothesline puts Harper down but Cena is favoring his arm.

Rowan makes ANOTHER save so Cena grabs him by the beard and rams him into the cage. The top rope Fameasser puts Harper down but as Cena goes for the door we get the Wyatt satellite hijacking. The lights go out and come back to show a child singing in a demonic voice in Cena’s face. Sister Abigail puts Cena down and Bray walks out for the win at 21:12 in front of the terrifying child.

Rating: B+. This was too overbooked for my taste. The Wyatts interfering about 857 times was too much but the child coming in for the save was a nice touch and tied into the storyline well. That being said, Bray needs to get a win on his own over Cena soon. It’s not like it’s going to hurt Cena or anything.

Bray Wyatt is a great example of someone who had talent and WWE kept searching until they found the right formula for him. That’s something that is so necessary but you hardly ever see it. So often you’ll see one gimmick not work and then WWE throws up their hands and gives up (see Chris Masters for one of many examples). Thankfully with Bray they took their time and allowed him to find the character that blew the doors off the place. The guy is 27 as of this writing and is going to be a big deal for awhile.

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Last night had some major events taking place and as usual, the fans aren’t all that pleased. To be fair it’s WWE, where nothing is ever satisfactory. Let’s get to it.

The opening promo was the Authority stripping Daniel Bryan of the WWE Title. At the end of the day, this is the only thing you can really do. The guy can’t wrestle and hasn’t been able to for a month, so you have to take it away. Luckily for Bryan, he was only champion for a month so it’s hard to jump on him for the weak ratings. If nothing else maybe he’ll be seen as valuable for them going down without him. The MITB ladder match will now be for the title and Randy Orton has been added to the match because he’s Randy Orton. Seriously that’s pretty much what HHH said.

In the same promo, HHH talks about how Shield was told to evolve but only Seth Rollins actually listened to him. This led to the announcement of a six man tag later with Ambrose and Reigns teaming up with whomever they could find against the Wyatts. Why anyone expected anyone not named John Cena to be the third man is beyond me. Yeah it was predictable, but don’t act like it was some big disappointment just because you figured out who it was and they didn’t throw in a big curveball. That’s your fault for inventing some standard. If you don’t like Cena that’s one thing, but saying that him being the third man is a stupid idea shows that you really don’t know what you’re talking about.

Sheamus beat Bad News Barrett in a MITB qualifying match. Say it with me: Sheamus got beaten up and hit a Brogue Kick for the win out of nowhere. Typical hard hitting and not bad match between these two.

The Wyatts had a promo with Bray saying he was reborn. This was below their usual standard.

Lana showed off her legs while Rusev destroyed Ryder.

The Goldust Needs A Partner story continued with R-Truth. Something that I haven’t touched on in this story is Ryback and Axel picking up a lot of wins. It’s building them up as a new set of challengers and that’s something the Usos need right now. I love killing two birds with one stone. Later in the night Cody promised a new partner next week who will magnify Goldust’s greatness. I saw someone say it’s Sandow as Goldust and that’s probably the case…..unless Cody is now a Boliever. I have no idea why but that popped into my head as a possibility last week. I know it doesn’t make sense and I doubt it happens but it was there.

Summer Rae poured milk over Layla and it looked like male ejaculation. You know you were all thinking it.

Now we get to the real meat of the show: Shield attacked 3MB and got to talk about Rollins. Ambrose got right to the point by saying he was going to beat Rollins up very, very badly. This was a really simple promo but Ambrose was bleeding charisma out there and the whole thing worked really well.

Then we got to the one I really liked. Reigns spoke in a very calm and casual voice about how Seth committed the most horrible sin of them all. Roman is coming after all three of them and Rollins is his first target, followed by Orton and then HHH, presumably at Summerslam.

Reigns going through Evolution one by one is a great story and will make him look like a huge star. I loved how casual he was with this and acted like this was something he just had to deal with. Not a lot of people talk in a voice like that and it worked for him. He even capped it off with a Game of Thrones reference, because Roman Reigns is 29 years old and actually in tune with pop culture rather than referencing things that were big deals 15 years ago.

Damien Sandow dressed as a dancer to team with Fandango (accompanied by a still milky Layla for no logical reason) in a loss to the Usos. If there’s a point to this Sandow stuff, please feel free to get to it anytime.

Bo Dallas beat Xavier Woods in the usual Dallas formula.

Cesaro beat RVD to qualify for the ladder match. There’s really nothing to say here.

Cole had a sitdown interview with Rollins to explain why he did this. The explanation was that Rollins founded the Shield and didn’t like sharing the credit. That helps, but it really doesn’t answer why he joined Evolution. Shield has proven that they’re better than Evolution, so why would Rollins want to work with or under a leader that he’s defeated twice now? It would make more sense to have Rollins strike out on his own or start a new stable with lackeys of his own. Instead he’s arguably third fiddle in Evolution and lower than when this whole thing started. I still think there was no reason for this other than shock value but this helped.

Ambrose and Reigns ran in post interview but the Wyatts made the save, drawing out Cena for the obvious reveal.

Paige beat Alicia Fox again and Fox freaked out on Aksana for costing her the match. I’d like to point out again: I don’t care about stories involving crazy losers.

Jack Swagger got fired up by a slap from Zeb and beat Santino. I didn’t care the first 5 times they did this and I don’t care now. Swagger has needed a repackaging for about four years now, since he’s been the same character since roughly 2009.

The six man main event was fine and did a nice job of storytelling. Having Reigns and Ambrose finally beat the Wyatts in a six man in their first try without Rollins shows that he was the reason they couldn’t do it and adds to the story. Reigns tearing through everyone is going to be an awesome sight to see.

Last night’s Raw was a good example of having everything go so fast that I didn’t have time to complain about most of it. The matches were mostly short but the most part nothing was all that terrible. This show was about the main event scene and we got a lot of stuff added on to the big pay per view match. Also we got a preview of what’s coming for Reigns and that’s the most important thing for the future. Efficient but not a great show this week.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 9, 2014
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The main story coming into tonight are the fallout from Seth Rollins turning on Shield last week. Tonight we should be getting revenge from Ambrose and Reigns, who didn’t appear on Smackdown last week. On top of that, the breaking news today is Daniel Bryan not being cleared for Money in the Bank, meaning the title will likely be held up. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very happy Authority to open the show. Stephanie talks about how they like to make blockbuster announcements and gives us a video of Daniel Bryan’s doctor. Dr. Maroon says that Daniel won’t be able to participate at Money in the Bank due to the severity of his neck injury. HHH is very pleased as Stephanie officially strips Bryan of the title. Stephanie wishes Bryan well and acknowledges his very selfish wife Brie.

However we still need a WWE Champion, so at Money in the Bank we’ll have a WWE Championship ladder match. The participants will be determined by a series of qualifying matches. Stephanie says the first qualifying match took place on Smackdown (it was on Raw) so Alberto Del Rio is in. HHH says Randy Orton is in as well because he deserves it. They’ve been saying it since Wrestlemania, but now this is proof: Daniel Bryan isn’t WWE Championship material.

HHH isn’t done yet as he rants about telling Shield to adapt or perish but only Seth Rollins listened to what he said. We get a video of the turn last week, which still took place after Shield beat Evolution twice in a row. As for tonight, Ambrose and Reigns will be in a six man tag match against the Wyatt Family. They need to find a partner though, which might be tough after they spent a year running roughshod over the entire locker room. However, they need to adapt or they’ll perish.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title. Barrett takes him into the corner to start but gets run over with a clothesline. Sheamus is sent out to the floor and Barrett follows it up with a shoulder block off the steps. Back in and Sheamus takes him down again before hitting the ten forearms. A middle rope knee drop misses and Barrett kicks him in the face, only for a running cross body from Sheamus to put both guys on the floor.

Back from a break with Sheamus in a chinlock before Barrett drops an elbow for two. Sheamus fights up but runs into a knee to the head, only to avoid the low superkick and get two off the Irish Curse. Winds of Change gets the same for Barrett but he walks into the tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. Sheamus loads up the Brogue but Barrett rolls to the floor, only to have Sheamus dive off the top. It’s a bad move though, as Barrett steps to the side and Sheamus crashes into the barricade.

He beats the count back in at nine and kicks out of Wasteland at two. The Bull Hammer is countered into White Noise for a very close two but Barrett counters the slingshot shoulder with a headbutt. He kicks Sheamus in the head over and over before ramming Sheamus shoulder first into the post twice in a row. Another series of kicks to the head in the corner….set up the Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the pin for Sheamus at 13:12.

Rating: B-. As this whole thing was going on, I was saying to myself “and then Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the pin”, and that’s exactly what happened. How did I know that was going to happen? Because that’s what always happens. At least the stuff before the ending was good. Also are we just going to forget about Sheamus’ head injury from before Payback?

The Wyatts pop on screen and says people were supposed to forget about them. Bray says he’s been reborn, despite only being gone eight days and making an appearance on Smackdown in between.

Lana comes out and makes fun of Obama for being a weak man. We get a video of I’m assuming the real Obama working out with some very light weights. Lana compares him to Putin who is known to be in good shape and trains in martial arts. We get a rather disturbing picture of a shirtless Putin on a horse which I’ve seen before and is still just as disturbing.

Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

Forearms to the back of the head, the running superkick and the Accolade end Ryder at 1:03.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Goldust/R-Truth

Truth gets attacked to start but he escapes for the hot (?) tag less than a minute in. Goldust cleans house and hits the snap powerslam on Axel. Ryback comes in and the spinning cross body takes out both he and Curtis as Cody is watching in the back. Truth is thrown to the floor and Goldust nails a spinebuster on Ryback. Axel sneaks in from behind though and rolls up Goldust for the pin with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:20.

Layla is getting her makeup done while insulting the people of Minneapolis, including hometown girl Summer Rae. Summer comes up behind her and pours milk over her before ramming Layla into various things.

3MB is in the ring but here come Ambrose and Reigns. The beating is on and they fight up the aisle with Reigns hitting a spear to Slater completely off screen. It looked like a camera error as they were looking at the crowd for a long stretch of time. Thankfully the replay shows a good shot of it.

Ambrose says the Shield was going to go down as one of the best groups ever. They dominated WWE and everyone in it, including Evolution. The team was healthy on the surface but there was a cancer inside them called Seth Rollins. Ambrose says he’ll get the chance to rearrange Rollins’ face by moving his nose over to his one ear (“because you’ll only have one left”) and that they’ll beat Rollins up. I like how simple that last line was.

Reigns very casually (not a bad thing) says Seth committed the most unforgettable sin. After he gets done with Rollins, Reigns is coming for Orton so he can mess up the face of the WWE. Then he’s coming for HHH. When he gets his hands on the King of Kings, they’ll have their own Game of Thrones.

Seth Rollins will break his silence tonight, despite talking on Smackdown.

Usos vs. Fandango/Damien Sandow

Damien comes out in what looks like long underwear and a streamer for what’s described as “interpretive dance.” Layla still has milk on her because WWE doesn’t have towels. Fandango cranks on Jimmy’s arm to start but Jimmy comes back with the dancing right hand. Off to Damien and the dancing begins. Sandow takes Jimmy over with a headlock before dancing around. Jimmy JUMPS up for a superkick before knocking Fandango off the apron. Jey hits the Superfly Splash for the pin on Sandow at 2:24.

Bo Dallas vs. Xavier Woods

Dallas says the way for Bryan to get back sooner than later is to BOLIEVE! Woods gets caught in a headlock to start but hiptosses Bo down to escape. A knee to the ribs drops Woods again but he sends Dallas into the buckle, only to springboard into something like a spear. The Bodog is good for the pin at 2:30.

Bo tells Woods to never quit after the match.

Back from a break with Paul Heyman in the ring and talking about the same thing he’s talked about every night since Wrestlemania. Tonight he’s here to introduce the next WWE World Heavyweight Champion, who is coming off his history making moment at Wrestlemania……CESARO! Heyman was teasing Lesnar if that wasn’t clear.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob quickly takes him down for two before walking into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. The monkey flip and top rope kick to the face send Cesaro to the floor and a flip dive drops him again as we take a break. Back with Cesaro cranking on a chinlock and throwing RVD out to the floor. They head back inside for another chinlock before Rob nails the spinwheel kick and a clothesline to take over. Cesaro misses a charge in the corner and the split legged moonsault gets two.

Van Dam tries to speed things up a bit too much though and gets caught by Swiss Death out of the corner for an even closer near fall. A powerbomb gets two more for Cesaro but he gets kicked down and nailed with Rolling Thunder. Back up and Rob nails another spinning kick in the corner but gets crotched down for his efforts. Cesaro wraps the leg around the post before Neutralizing RVD for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C+. Good but not great match here. WWE is really getting into a funk with how they do every kind of match and you can see it here very clearly. They just kept trading their signature stuff until the winner hit a finisher for the pin. That’s almost the same formula you see in every upper midcard match and it’s getting a bit annoying.

We recap the Authority and Shield’s promos from earlier.

Michael Cole brings out Seth Rollins, now with his own music and in a suit, for a sitdown interview. Rollins says he doesn’t understand the controversy behind what he did because he was looking out for his own business. He takes credit for creating the Shield and says the other two have no right to claim any of its success. Ambrose would be face first in a ditch without him and Reigns needs someone to focus his aggression.

Cole asks about the Shield being three individuals instead of one man. Rollins says we’ll see about that tonight. He took Shield to the top and that brings us to Payback. Rollins learned from Evolution that you have to evolve and adapt. The fans say he sold out but he says he bought in to the evolution of Seth Rollins. Rollins brags about the guts it took last week but people are fixated on how he turned on his brothers. Seth says they were just business partners and he severed those connections.

For two years, Rollins put his fist out and said believe in the Shield. What he really meant was that everyone should believe in Seth Rollins. That’s all for the explanation, so now where are Ambrose and Reigns to do what they promised? Here they come and Rollins takes off his tie but we’ve got Wyatts. The lights come back on and the Family is in the ring for the fight. Bray is nowhere in sight but Rollins comes back inside….just as Rollins and Harper are sent outside. Bray and the Family come back in for the save but Cena comes out for the real save, apparently becoming the third man for the tag match later.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title and Alicia has Aksana in her corner. Paige quickly heads outside to go after Aksana and gets dropkicked off the apron as a result. Fox puts on a chinlock and yells a lot before hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Paige counters a side slam with a headscissors out of the floor as Cole describes Fox as a “mood ring maker’s dream.” Back in and Paige fires off a bunch of clotheslines followed by a bad looking running dropkick for two. Aksana yells a lot so Paige throws Fox into her, setting up the PTO on Fox for the submission at 4:56.

Rating: D+. This was sloppy at times but not horrible. Fox’s push is pretty much done as she keeps losing every match she’s in, making the character development rather worthless. She does look good in the shorts though. Paige getting another win on TV is good for her though as she can keep dominating until someone is built up to beat her.

Fox beats up Aksana post match before stealing water and popcorn from fans to pour on Aksana. She feeds some to Aksana against her will and that’s about it. JBL calling for anyone from Jesse Ventura to the Gagnes to help them made me chuckle.

Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger

Marella escapes an early powerslam attempt and sends Jack out to the floor with a forearm. Colter slaps Swagger in the face and Jack is all fired up, to the point that he misses a charge into the post. Thankfully he blocks the Cobra and hits the gutwrench powerbomb for the pin at 1:57.

Cody Rhodes tells Goldust that he’s found the perfect partner for him. Next week, Goldust’s partner will magnify his star power. No word on who it is.

We look at Stephanie stripping Bryan of the title and announcing Money in the Bank being for the title.

Stephanie is annoyed at Cena for getting in her business two weeks in a row. Vickie Guerrero comes in with champagne for the two of them because Brad Maddox and Daniel Bryan are both gone. She sneezes on Stephanie and gets thrown out with a threat of being fired again.

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns/John Cena vs. Wyatt Family

It’s a brawl to start until we officially gets going with Ambrose hammering away on Rowan. Dean cleans house and even dives on Harper for good measure. Back in and Dean dropkicks Erick down before the tag brings in Reigns to pound away as well. Rowan finally gets in a shot of his own and makes the tag to Harper, who can’t quite suplex Roman. Instead Reigns suplexes him down for two before driving Harper into the corner for the tag to Ambrose.

The Wyatts take over on Dean with Bray shouting at him to come on. Dean is taken to the floor where he’s able to send Rowan into the steps for a breather. Back in and Harper easily takes him down again and cranks on a chinlock as the dueling Cena chants begin. We come back from a break with Rowan hitting a big side slam on Ambrose before it’s back to Bray for his usual theatrics.

Ambrose gets a boot up to stop a charging Wyatt and the hot tag finally brings in Cena. John hammers away but the Family takes over on him as well via a boot to the face. Back to Bray for the running backsplash for two and Bray laughs a lot. Harper hits a rack neckbreaker for two more and a Michinoku Driver gets the same. Bray pounds in a few right hands and headbutts before taking him back inside for the dancing spot.

The suplex slam gets two before Cena finally gets over for the real hot tag to Reigns. Roman cleans house with all of his signature spots as everything breaks down. Reigns does Cena’s ProtpBomb for two on Harper before Cena cross bodies Rowan down. Bray hits the Sister Abigail on Cena but walks into the Superman Punch. Rowan is thrown outside as well, setting up the suicide dive from Ambrose. A superkick (good one too) gets two for Harper but he walks into the spear for the pin at 20:46.

Rating: B-. This was a nice bit of storytelling with the Shield losing Rollins but finally being able to beat the one team that had eluded them in their reign of dominance. Reigns continues to look awesome and Ambrose has more charisma than he knows what to do with. Not a great match but it more than did what it was supposed to do.

Rollins and HHH look on from the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t a great show but it did some of the things WWE has needed to do. Rollins’ promo was good and explained his mindset, but it still doesn’t make a ton of sense. He wants all of the credit for Shield’s success. That’s fine, but I don’t get why you join a team of losers to get that. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just go out on your own because you don’t need them?

The rest of the show was solid enough with some matches that went by too fast to really be bad. Money in the Bank is shaping up and hopefully there’s only one ladder match this year. I’m not wild on Cena vs. the Wyatts continuing but the upcoming PPV could change a lot of things. The show went by quickly tonight and nothing was horrible so I’m pleased.

Results
Sheamus b. Bad News Barrett – Brogue Kick
Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade
Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Goldust/R-Truth – Rollup to Goldust
Usos b. Fandango/Damien Sandow – Superfly Splash to Fandango
Bo Dallas b. Xavier Woods – Bodog
Cesaro b. Rob Van Dam – Neutralizer
Paige b. Alicia Fox – PTO
Jack Swagger b. Santino Marella – Gutwrench powerbomb
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns/John Cena b. Wyatt Family – Spear to Harper

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Ding ding ding. It’s JBL.

JBL got his start in 1990 so we’ll pick things up with him in 1991 in the GWF as John Hawk against Mike Lane.

John Hawk vs. Mike Lane

Hawk hammers away to start and rips away at the arm. Lane bails to the floor as this is one sided so far. Back in and Lane grabs a headlock before trying some shoulder blocks to no effect. We take a break and come back with Hawk easily winning a test of strength. A big boot sends Lane to the floor again for some major stalling.

Hawk finally gets tired of waiting and pulls Mike to the apron for a belly to back suplex. Back in and Hawk misses a charge in the corner and gets his arm worked over a bit. Lane hammers away as the match drops in intensity. The bad arm is sent into the buckle again and we hit a hammerlock.

We take another break and come back with Hawk hitting a dropkick and shaking his arm a lot. Lane calmly snaps the arm across the rope to take over again, even though the announcers want to know why he’s not going for Hawk’s bad leg. Hawk fires off some right hands and a hard shoulder, only to have someone named Cowboy Mantell hit him in the back to give Lane a cheap pin.

Rating: D+. This would have been much better if they had cut out about five minutes. Lane wasn’t much and I’m pretty sure Hawk was the face out there, which is always odd when the monster is a good guy. It doesn’t help that this is in Texas where a cowboy is always going to be over, even though another cowboy interfered.

After several more years in the indies, mainly in Texas, Hawk would head to the WWF as Justin Hawk Bradshaw. One of his first major matches was at In Your House 10, with some famous interference.

Justin Hawk Bradshaw vs. Savio Vega

This is fallout from about five minutes ago on the pre-show. Bradshaw is a big Texan and a newcomer who hasn’t lost a match yet but is mad that he can’t get a spot on the pay per view. He attacked Savio after his Free For All match so a Caribbean strap match was quickly made. It’s the touch all four corners variety again and remember if your momentum is stopped, you lose any corners you’ve touched. Savio charges in but gets taken down with clubbing forearms and some shots to the back with the strap.

Vega is knocked to the floor and choked up against the post but he manages to pull Bradshaw shoulder first into the steel. The most interesting part of the match is a local independent wrestler throwing beer on Savio and slamming the can into his own head. This would be the Sandman, an ECW mainstay with his cohort Tommy Dreamer next to him. Philadelphia was ECW’s home base and this was near the peak of ECW’s popularity. The theory was this being a shoot but it turned out to be the two companies working together. Paul Heyman, ECW owner, can be seen holding them back as security takes them out.

Back in and Bradshaw hooks a headlock on Savio and gets three buckles before Savio makes the save before the fourth. Some HARD strap shots to the back have Bradshaw down and Savio gets three buckles as a result before Bradshaw pulls him down to reset the score. A spinwheel kick puts Bradshaw down again but he makes the save after two corners this time.

Bradshaw takes him down with a big boot and a HARD clothesline to get three corners but just like in the first strap match with Austin, Vega follows along and gets them as well. Bradshaw makes the mistake of pulling on the strap though, sending Savio into his fourth buckle for the win.

Rating: D. So remember the Austin vs. Vega match where there was a ton of drama and hard hitting shots which got people into the match? None of that applies here. This was paint by numbers stuff which wasn’t anything interesting at all and was only interesting because of the ECW stuff. Nothing to see here.

Bradshaw would soon become part of the New Blackjacks with Barry Windham. The team didn’t do much but they would be in a fourway #1 contenders match at Wrestlemania 13.

Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Why not have the title match here and the #1 contenders match earlier is beyond me but the WWF is running scared of WCW at this point so common sense is thrown out the window. The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. We get some clips of the originals for the sake of old school. The new ones say they’re back and they’ll beat up all the small people.

Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with all eight guys fighting at once. We finally get down to Henry vs. Bradshaw which is a match that has haunted many of my nightmares over the years. A big clothesline puts Bradshaw down and it’s quickly off to Thrasher. Bradshaw still has his vest on. He runs over Thrasher though and there goes the vest. In an interesting bit of strategy, Bradshaw tags in Phineas and then punches him in the face.

Phineas pounds on him a bit more but brings in Mosh to face Thrasher. Jerry makes fun of Vince’s knowledge of rock music, saying Vince’s favorite rock band is Mount Rushmore. After some slam dancing for lack of a better term, it’s off to LaFaon who gets caught in a double flapjack for two. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Furnas vs. Windham with the former hitting a quick rana for two. Windham hits a kind of powerbomb to take over but Bradshaw comes in and helps his partner beat down LaFon.

With the help of his partner, Bradshaw suplexes Phil out to the floor. The four members of the two teams head to the floor where Bradshaw shoves the referee and LaFon and Furnas are counted out, giving us two eliminations. So we’ve got the Headbangers vs. the Godwinns now and Thrasher gets to be in trouble first. It’s pretty clear that Vince has no idea which of the Headbangers is which.

Thrasher starts to fight back so he and Phineas spit on each other. Vince implies that Phineas is into bestiality which is an image I really didn’t need. Off to Mosh vs. Henry but a clothesline by the Godwinn puts both guys out on the floor. Mosh gets back in as Henry is only on the apron, allowing the Headbanger to hit a springboard clothesline to take Henry back down. Lawler keeps up the rock music jokes by saying Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonald’s.

Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Mosh vs. Phineas again. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Thrasher but Mosh makes the save. Everything breaks down and a top rope seated senton by Mosh is enough for the pin on Phineas to send the Headbangers to Raw.

Rating: C-. This shows you where the tag division was at this point. There were indeed several teams fighting over the titles but that doesn’t always make for an interesting series of matches in the division. The Headbangers were different but not a great team at all and the Godwinns were WAY past their expiration date at this point. Not much to see here but it was fast paced.

After doing a lot of nothing for the rest of the year, Bradshaw would be put in a feud with Jeff Jarrett as part of the NWA Invasion. They would have a match for the NWA North American Title at In Your House 20.

NWA North American Title: Bradshaw vs. Jeff Jarrett

Bradshaw, the native Texan and challenger, chases the NWA (Cornette, Jarrett, Rock N Roll Express and Barry Windham, Bradshaw’s former tag partner) to the floor to start. The NWA save for Cornette is quickly ejected to make this as fair as possible. Bradshaw throws Jarrett back inside and whips him with his chaps to start before chopping Jarrett down over and over. A big boot to the face staggers Jarrett and a clothesline sends him to the floor.

Bradshaw makes the mistake of going after Cornette though and Jeff gets in some kicks to the chest to take over. There’s a middle rope dropkick from Jeff for two and Cornette gets in some choking of his own. The choking only ticks Bradshaw off and he rolls up Jarrett for two. The referee yells at Jarrett though, allowing Cornette to blast Bradshaw in the bad knee with his tennis racket.

Jeff goes after the knee but gets crotched on the top rope. Bradshaw’s superplex is blocked but he catches Jeff in a fallaway slam to put both guys down. There’s the powerbomb to Jeff but Bradshaw pulls Cornette into the ring, allowing Jeff to hit Bradshaw in the chest with the tennis racket for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not as bad of a match as some of them and the Texas man helped get the fans interested but this still didn’t do much for me. The NWA angle was little more than a way for Vince to make fun of the organization and make them look like nitwits. The match was nothing special either with a basic knee story which went nowhere.

Bradshaw would become your run of the mill brawler and get a fight with Vader at In Your House 24.

Vader vs. Bradshaw

This is falls count anywhere and no holds barred for no apparent reason. Bradshaw pounds him down into the corner to start and takes him down with a clothesline. A slam and an elbow drop get two for Bradshaw but Vader runs him over and works on the leg. Vader gets two on a splash but Bradshaw kicks him in the face and clotheslines him over the top. The ring bell goes upside Vader’s head and Bradshaw adds an elbow drop for two. Bradshaw accidentally punches the post a few times though and Vader slugs him down.

Some shots to the back with the steps would look to have Bradshaw in trouble but he shrugs them off and fires off right hands back inside. Bradshaw misses a clothesline and falls out to the floor where Vader rams him into various metal objects. Back in and the middle rope splash gets no cover for Vader but the Vader Bomb gets two. Bradshaw comes back with two hard clotheslines and a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D-. This would be better as a regular match but as an anything goes match this was nearly a disaster. Vader was done at this point and it was very clear in this match. Just two years ago that Vader Bomb was beating Shawn Michaels and now a midcarder is kicking out at two. This was Vader’s last PPV appearance which is the best thing for everyone.

Soon after this, Bradshaw would find the story he’d been looking for: a tag team with Farrooq called the Acolytes. They would team together on Raw, February 1, 1999.

Al Snow/Road Dogg vs. Acolytes

Roadie is Hardcore Champion if you’re looking for an explanation for the pairing. The brawl starts on the ramp and it’s a hardcore match. Snow has a table rammed into his head and this is a big mess from the bell. Bradshaw throws in the steps and Road Dogg has a pencil. Snow and Farrooq fight into the crowd and the others join them. They fight to a concession stand and Snow goes into a barricade. They head outside and Snow hammers on Farrooq who has a garbage can over his head. Roadie and Bradshaw have a table in the ring while Viscera appears in the back to slam Snow. Bradshaw powerbomb Dogg for the pin.

Rating: C. Fun match but the ending was exactly what you would expect it to be. These matches are for fun for the most part and the thrown together team did a lot better than you would have expected them to do for the most part. The Acolytes were still getting the hang of what they were doing.

The team would win and lose the Tag Team Titles in the spring before getting a rematch against the Hardy Boys at Fully Loaded 1999. The match was so one sided on paper that the Hardys, the champions coming in, would need Michael Hayes helping them to make it a handicap match.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Hardys/Michael Hayes

Yep it’s a handicap match. At this point I had zero clue which was Matt and which was Jeff. We start in the aisle where they just leave the belts. Who would have thought two of these four would win world titles? I don’t think this has started yet. According to Ross it has. Ah there’s the bell so Ross was wrong.

We have Farrooq and Jeff in there to start while Bradshaw beats up both guys on the floor. Matt takes out everyone with a top rope moonsault. They really were great fliers back in the day. Hayes is pretty freaking worthless here but what did you really expect? The APA takes over with just power. Matt picks to tag Hayes. Why in the world would you do that? We get a Freebird reference so I’m good for the night. There’s Jeff. Crowd is DEAD for this.

I think Lita helped them a good bit to say the least. The Hardys simply aren’t that good at this point. Bradshaw gets a nice belly to back suplex off the top. Not bad. Jeff clocks him with Hayes’ cane over the head. Poetry in Motion is still very much a work in progress here. Hayes comes in and a double powerbomb gives the APA their titles back. Edge, Christian and a ladder would be coming soon.

Rating: D+. I didn’t like it at all. Hayes was just in the way here as he’s old and most of the people here don’t know what he used to be nor do they care more than likely. The Hardys would dump him maybe the next night. Either way, the APA would lose the belts to Kane and X-Pac two weeks later so this was just to get Hayes out of the Hardy picture.

The team would be part of the Corporate Ministry for the rest of the year while losing the belts in the process. They would receive another shot at Fully Loaded 2000.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. APA

I miss Edge and Christian’s old entrance where the camera flies all over the place and looks for them and they’re in the entry way like normal wrestlers. Edge insults Dallas sports teams which makes me hate them quite a bit. They insult the Kennedy assassination before setting up for flash photography but the APA and their awesome music cuts them off. Bradshaw threatens to put his boot in their ears. Ok then.

He actually uses the term cheap heat. That came out of nowhere. He defends Texas by saying how many titles they’ve won. That just makes him sound like a geek. I didn’t know FTS was more commonly known as Bradshaw. Farroq gets a great step shot in on Christian right off the bat.

This starts off as little more than a squash as Bradshaw just freaking murders Christian. Edge and Christian finally get some offense in as they get the advantage on Bradshaw. I like how they use such generic offense to stay in a match for as long as they can until they can hit a much bigger move. That’s a nice little way to do something. It lasts for all of a minute though as the APA dominates again.

We hear for about the 12th time that Bradshaw is from Texas. Seriously, WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT TEXAS??? With the Acolytes hitting their finishers, Edge goes to the floor and grabs a belt. He gets the referee’s attention and nails Farrooq with it for the DQ. I kind of like that as it plays them holding the belts even longer. The same time though, it makes them look ridiculously weak and since they were known to keep stealing wins like that, it’s rather stupid also.

Either way it was ok I guess. Post match the champions are beaten down even more which for some reason means we should talk about the Rock? That makes no sense but at least they saved it for after the match ended, unlike WCW who likely wouldn’t have acknowledged the match going on at all.

Rating: C. It was really short and pointless but it was never dull. That’s the best thing here: they kept moving the entire time. That’s always a plus as it kept things interesting and made you want to keep watching. I really don’t like the whole cheating to keep the belts thing as it makes them look quite weak, but that’s fine I guess as it fits them to the letter. However at just over five minutes they didn’t have enough time to get anything going so it’s about as average as you can get overall.

Occasionally Bradshaw would get some singles matches, including this one at Insurrextion 2001.

Bradshaw vs. Big Show

Odd again. All of these European shows have a bad case of strangeness to them. How weird is it to think that Bradshaw would be a more important world champion than Show? Those chops Show did were freaking insane. EMTs come out to take care of Test. A flying shoulder just looks cool. There goes the referee.

Show goes after Test when he’s trying to leave which of course doesn’t work. A big boot into a steel chair and the Clothesline From JBL ends this with Bradshaw winning it for NO explainable reason. Dude it’s 2001 and Bradshaw beat Big Show. What freaking sense does that make?

Rating: C-. Not bad for a big man fight. The booking is bearable I guess as it’s a show no one is going to see or hear about for months. This was just your standard battle of the big men which usually works pretty well. This was fine for what it was I guess but REALLY short, even for one of these shows.

Back to the tags with the Acolytes getting a Tag Team Title shot on Raw from July 9, 2001 despite not doing much as a team for awhile.

Tag Titles: APA vs. Dudley Boys

Apparently Spike is going to be out for awhile with a broken leg. The APA clears the ring to start and we get down to Bubba vs. Farrooq. Off to Bradshaw as the Dudleys take over. The reverse 3D gets two. D-Von pounds on him and it’s off to Bubba. He goes to the corner for the ten punches but gets powerbombed out and both guys are down. Off to Farrooq and D-Von with Simmons getting a spinebuster for two. 3D doesn’t work but What’s Up does to Farrooq. Bubba goes for a table but Spike comes out, hits Bubba with the crutch and throws him in where Bradshaw’s Clothesline gives the APA their third tag title.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match but I guess the idea here is that if the APA is leading the WWF’s army so give them something to make them seem important. That’s not a terrible idea actually and it’s better than another boring Hardys vs. Dudleys feud for the 7000th time. Not a terrible match and it did its job I guess.

Bradshaw would be a fairly big deal during the Invasion and fight the Alliance every chance he got. This included challenging for the European Title on October 22, 2001’s Raw.

European Title: The Hurricane vs. Bradshaw

Hurricane keeps doing his posing and Bradshaw keeps knocking him down. Out to the floor and Molly glares at him. Hurricane tries a dive but Bradshaw….”catches” him I guess you could say, in a fall away slam. By that I mean he tries to and drops Hurricane down on the floor. Back in the ring and Hurricane hits a superkick but it can’t even put Bradshaw down. Suplex is countered by Bradshaw and both guys are down. A neckbreaker puts Hurricane down and Molly dives at Bradshaw which goes as well as you would expect. There’s the fall away slam for her and the Clothesline gives Bradshaw the title. Too short to rate but it was nothing.

We’re going to skip 2002 and most of 2003 as the former was spent mostly on Hardcore Title matches (Bradshaw won it 17 times in three months) and injuries. The Acolytes would be back at No Mercy 2003.

Basham Brothers vs. APA

This is about the APA hurting the Basham’s manager Shaniqua. The Bashams are named Doug and Danny, which are the names of my uncles so I’ve always liked this team. Bradshaw is blonde here which doesn’t work for him at all. He and Doug start things off but it’s off to Farrooq quickly. Off to Danny who has no luck, just like his brother. Were they brothers? I know they really aren’t but were they on screen? I’m not sure.

Doug gets in a shot to take over but his splash hits Farrooq’s knees and a brawl breaks out. Cole and Tazz get into a stupid argument as the Dominator is escaped. The Bashams hit a double belly to back suplex for two and Farrooq is in trouble. Bradshaw runs in to try to help his partner, because doing it a minute ago worked oh so well.

Off to a chinlock to eat up a few minutes until Farrooq hits a spinebuster and makes the hot tag. Bradshaw cleans house and hits the powerbomb for two on Danny. Everything breaks down and it’s Last Calls (fall away slam) all around. There goes the referee and Bradshaw hits the Clothesline. Shaniqua comes in and hits Bradshaw with a club of some sort for the pin.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t terrible I guess, but what in the world was the reason to give this nine minutes on PPV? Also why did we have to see Shaniqua in a dominatrix outfit? The match should have been on Smackdown or cut in half, but that’s the danger of single branded PPVs. The Bashams were the flavor of the month on Smackdown while the APA would split in March.

Now let’s change pace a bit as the APA would break up due to Farrooq retiring, leaving Bradshaw in need of something new. He would have his entire gimmick changed to John Bradshaw Layfield, a Wall Street tycoon. Somehow this resulted in him becoming #1 contender to the Smackdown World Title with his shot coming at Judgment Day 2004.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guerrero

JBL runs down the Mexicans in the crowd pre match. He’s in blue here which is weird looking for some reason. Eddie hammers away to start and we hit the floor almost immediately. JBL tries to run up the ramp but Eddie catches up to him. We’ve been in the ring about 12 seconds out of the two and a half minutes they’ve been fighting for. Back to the ring now and it’s been ALL Eddie.

Out to the floor again and JBL manages to send Eddie into the steps to break the momentum a bit. They tease the announce table a bit but instead we go back into the ring for more brawling. Eddie gets some punches but a big boot takes him right back down. Cole: JBL’s stock will go way up if he wins this match. That was so corny that it was almost not bad.

An overly long headlock goes on as JBL keeps control. After that finally gets broken up Eddie tries to speed things up, only to walk into a fallaway slam on the floor to get us back in JBL control. Backdrop puts Eddie onto the Spanish Announce Table and we go right back into the ring. This is going way too slowly here. Another slugout follows but Eddie walks into something like a hot shot for two.

Off to a bearhug now as this continues to go way too slow. I get that JBL is a slow guy but this is getting a lot of time and that makes for a boring match more often than not. Eddie escapes and tries to speed up a bit, hitting Three Amigos. Clothesline From JBL and a powerbomb both miss and there goes the referee. JBL is sent to the floor and we go to the table again.

JBL caves Eddie’s head in with a chair shot. FREAKING OW MAN! Oh sweet goodness Eddie is bleeding a freaking gusher. Steps to the head as Eddie is reeling. There is blood all over the ring. Clothesline From JBL kills Eddie dead but there’s no referee. Another referee slides into the lake of blood and gets a two count for JBL. The third attempt at the Clothesline drills the second referee. Dude, shouldn’t the referee that has been down for five minutes get some help?

Huge powerbomb by JBL gets only two as the fans are WAY into this now. The blood isn’t flowing off his head not but is only dripping. Sleeper by JBL which is rather smart here but a suplex gets Eddie out of it. Eddie does his dance thing and here he comes again. Crowd is losing it over this. Fallaway slam is countered into a DDT just like the F5 from Lesnar was at No Way Out.

Eddie tries to crawl to the corner for the Frog Splash as it’s amazing that he’s not dead at this point. Ok maybe that was a poor choice of words. The fans almost gasp at the idea of the Frog Splash but it misses anyway. Bradshaw grabs the title which he puts behind his back and a chair. The referee sees the chair but not the belt. Eddie kicks him low and drills him with the belt for the DQ and the fans aren’t happy at all.

Rating: B. This was a good match at times but you can cut off the first 8 minutes or so and no one would notice it at all. The blood is INSANE and if you have a weak stomach you should stay far away from this one. The ending hurts it a lot as they could have done either a fluke pin or simply stopping it for the blood. Either way, the ending hurts this one a lot and considering it wasn’t a classic in the first place, that’s not good.

Eddie massacres him post match and hits him with a big old chair shot to bust him open too. Oh wait he was bleeding off the belt shot. Another chair shot and Bradshaw is more or less dead. Eddie chases him down for some more as JBL is taken away.

The non-finish would require a rematch at Great American Bash 2004.

Smackdown World title: Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Yes, the concrete match is going last. This is no DQ, unless you intentionally unhook yourself. There’s a bell on the rope of course, because we’re wrestlers so we all want to be cowboys! Eddie goes for the leg and chokes him out a bit with the rope. That bell is getting really annoying really fast. They have these stupid lights on the corners because just counting the number of corners for each guy is too much for Nick Patrick.

Both guys get two corners but they get their momentum broken up. The rope goes around Eddie’s neck and there’s a bell shot to put him down. Bradshaw puts him in the Tree of Woe and chokes him upside down as Eddie is in trouble. Here comes the Spanish Announce Table but Eddie blocks a powerbomb through it. Cowbell to the head puts JBL down and it’s Eddie in control.

JBL sends him over the table again but Eddie CRACKS Bradshaw over the head with a chair. Oh yeah he’s busted too. That’s enough for Eddie to get three corners but JBL breaks it up enough for the fourth to not count. Patrick says the momentum is broken, meaning the streak is broken. Eddie gets three corners again and again JBL grabs the rope. After a JBL DDT, Eddie crotches him with the rope and gets three buckles but the streak is broken.

Three Amigos hit and Eddie adds a frog splash for good measure. In a REALLY smart move, JBL rolls to the floor to stop the fourth corner from being touched. Smart because Eddie can’t drag him from the floor like he could in the ring. They go to the top and JBL hits him with the bell. He wraps the rope around Eddie’s neck and throws him onto the announce table which doesn’t break. Cole says it’s like rock or concrete. These jokes write themselves at times.

A powerbomb puts Eddie through the table and both guys are down again. Somehow that only gets three corners back in the ring. JBL gets three corners again but takes a cowbell low to stop things again. Since this is a four corners bullrope match, we get the only ending that ever happens in these things: they both get three and the good guy dives to touch the fourth one just in time.

Rating: B. Pretty solid brawl here but at the same time these matches get really repetitive after awhile. It becomes wrestler A gets a few corners, then wrestler B gets a few corners, then we reset things. The brawling in between that was pretty solid stuff though so I can’t really complain here. At the end of the day though, this gave us JBL as world champion. Here’s why.

Angle comes out and shows us the replay, which shows that when Eddie dove at JBL, it knocked JBL into the buckle first, which means he’s champion. This would go on until Wrestle-freaking-Mania.

JBL’s title reign would last into the new year, including a triple threat defense at Royal Rumble 2005.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This match has a backstory that isn’t important enough to explain to us. Apparently Angle had a last man standing match with JBL but the winner is even less important than the backstory. JBL is defending. Angle bails to the floor to start so Show runs over JBL a few times. There’s the loud chop in the corner followed by a legdrop which finally draws Angle into the ring for a save.

Now it’s Kurt getting a big chop in the corner. Cole says that’s like getting hit in the chest with a skillet. My question continues to be: how does anyone know what that feels like? Is that what goes on at WWE headquarters when there aren’t any shows on? Show clotheslines both guys to the floor to a surprisingly big reaction. Angle tries a German on the floor which fails completely, so Show picks up the steps.

Show loads up the announce table and climbs the steps to chokeslam JBL through said table. Before he can though, Angle hits Show low and blasts him with a monitor, knocking Show through the table. Back inside and Angle puts JBL in an armbar followed by a keylock. Kurt rolls the Germans but walks into a big boot for two. Big Show gets back in and there’s a double clothesline and headbutts all around. He slams Angle onto JBL to a big reaction. When did Big Show get this popular? Both guys get crushed in the corner and another double clothesline puts both guys down.

Show loads up a double chokeslam but the other guys go High/Low to take Show down. Angle Germans JBL down and hits a bad Angle Slam which gives JBL two. There’s a chokeslam to JBL but he gets a foot on the rope. Out to the floor and Show spears JBL through the barricade in his signature spot, putting all three guys down.

Back in and Angle goes after Show with a chair but gets flapjacked face first onto the steel. Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, Angle’s lackeys, come out for the save as JBL’s Cabinet try to wake up the champion. Show beats up Jindrak and Reigns as Orlando Jordan puts JBL in the ring for the Clothesline to pin Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

After losing the belt and a rematch to John Cena, JBL would go after the other World Title at Summerslam 2005 against champion Batista.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.

JBL pounds him down into the corner and whips Batista with the timekeeper’s belt. The choke with the belt goes on longer than any human would be alive but Batista fights out and whips JBL with the belt as well. Batista hits the corner shoulders but charges into a boot and JBL’s Clothesline is good for two. JBL brings in the steps and loads up a powerbomb off of them, only to be backdropped down instead. Batista hits the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover. Instead he picks up JBL again and powerbombs him onto the steps for the emphatic pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all and the ending was never in doubt. It’s just over nine minutes and about a minute of that was spent on JBL choking Big Dave. JBL was the main event jobber at this point which meant he was ok at best. Batista was still the biggest star in the company at this point but Cena was rising fast.

JBL would get back into the midcard after this, with a shot at the US Title coming at Wrestlemania XXII.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and takes over with a quick headlock. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold but can’t get the Crossface this early. Back to the headlock by JBL but Benoit gets his back and pounds on the challenger’s neck. The Sharpshooter is broken up very quickly and Jibbles heads to the floor. Back in and Benoit avoids a charge in the corner and lays out Bradshaw with the Rolling Germans. The champion loads up the Swan Dive but JBL crotches him to escape.

JBL cranks up the heel by doing Eddie’s chest slap. A superplex puts Benoit down but only gets a very delayed two. There’s the Eddie dance and JBL hits Three Amigos to HUGE heat. Benoit knees his way out of the third Amigo and pounds away, only to get kicked in the face for two. Off to a lame chinlock (his hands aren’t even locked) by JBL but Benoit suplexes his way out. Now Chris hits Three Amigos to a solid ovation before doing the chest slap. Now the Swan Dive hits for two and Benoit counters the Clothesline into a Crossface attempt, but JBL rolls onto his back and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Just like the opener this was pretty meh but JBL was an awesome heel here. The part of this that sticks in my mind though is Benoit hitting that headbutt. After it hit he was grabbing his skull and was clearly in pain. Every time I see him hit something like that I cringe a little bit more and wonder if that was the point of no return.

JBL would lose the title a few months later and then take nearly two years off due to a back injury, wrestling only once in between. One of his first matches back would be at the 2008 Royal Rumble against Chris Jericho, who JBL had cost a title shot in December.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Feeling out process to start with JBL hiding in the corner and ropes a few times. Jericho forearms him down and pounds away but gets sent to the floor. That doesn’t last long as he slides right back in and hooks the Walls but JBL immediately grabs the rope. A baseball slide keeps Jibbles on the floor where he is sent into the steps. Back in and Jericho charges into a hot shot to put both guys down.

A clothesline (not the one from down under) puts Jericho down as apparently he has a bad throat and neck coming into this. Bradshaw slingshots Jericho throat first into the middle rope and hooks a quick sleeper. Jericho fights out of it and hits a clothesline of his own, only to charge into a big boot. John sends him shoulder first into the post which busts his head open somehow. Back in and JBL pounds away at the cut as a villain would do. Jericho comes back but they botch a clothesline, causing both guys to get booed loudly. A Cactus Clothesline sends them to the floor where Jericho cracks JBL with a chair for the LAME DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for the most part. Jericho didn’t work at all as a face with the short hair during this comeback and I think everyone knew it. Thankfully he would turn heel over the summer and have the feud of the year with Shawn. The ending to this sucked and I don’t think they had any other matches after this.

JBL would of course feud with Cena a bit more, including a parking lot brawl at Great American Bash 2008.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is in “the parking lot” and likely was taped earlier today for the most part. JBL is in a shirt and tie and has a crowbar. He takes the tie off at least. They have the circle of cars set up and a referee out there. Something metal hits the ground but we don’t know where it was from. Now a car turns on and Cena drives it at the car JBL is standing on. Ok now it’s on.

Cena chokes him with jumper cables. Then he slams a car hood on him. Now he jumps JBL’s balls. That would kind of, um, KILL HIM. Cena picks up an oil drum and chucks it at a car which JBL tries to escape in. Bradshaw gets in some shots but nothing significant. They knock a car door off. Cena went through it so JBL takes over. Powerbomb on a car gets two. Cena gets dropped on the top of a car for two.

Cena goes through a window and isn’t busted open. Did they hit the blood quota earlier or something? This is really dull by the way. Cena is knocked down then thrown into the back of a car and JBL goes to get a gas can out of his limo. He covers the car with the gas and throws a lighter on it. Uh yeah I’m done here. They put it out but JBL is stealing a forklift. Cena gets out and Bradshaw is mad.

They brawl even more and Cena takes over, throwing JBL into a car then into a car. Cena gets the forklift and spears the car. He lifts the car up and drives the forklift into the arena. JBL gets beaten up on the stage. There’s the Shuffle and Cena loads up the FU. Instead of flipping the fool like a clam shelled cellular phone, he walks towards the car and JBL escapes and throws Cena off the stage into the windshield for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This had nothing to do with wrestling. It was bad, whatever it was. They got WAY too ridiculous here and I’m sure the fans loved seeing a total of maybe three minutes of this live. They were setting up JBL as the next challenger to Punk and Cena moved onto Batista, but this was still bad.

One of JBL’s final stories would be buying Shawn Michaels when Shawn was broke due to the financial crisis. This resulted in JBL getting a World Title shot against Cena at the 2009 Royal Rumble with Shawn being required to help him win.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

After losing the blowoff to Shawn, JBL would head back to the midcard again and chase the Intercontinental Title. We’ll wrap it up with his title shot on Raw from March 9, 2009.

Intercontinental Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. CM Punk

These two had issues a few months back when Punk first won the World Title. A hard shoulder gets two on the champion but he comes back with kicks to JBL’s legs. Punk jawbreaks out of a sleeper and hits the running knee against the ropes. JBL bails to the flor to avoid the bulldog so Punk hits a suicide dive to take him down. We take a break and come back with Punk in a bad looking abdominal stretch. At least pull back on the thing John.

The fall away slam gets two and some hard forearms to the back have Punk in even more trouble. A big right hand stops a Punk comeback attempt but he fights out of the corner with a tornado DDT. Punk gets sent to the apron but comes back with the springboard clothesline followed by the knee and bulldog for two. The GTS is loaded up but Punk takes too much time turning to the hard camera, allowing JBL to rake the eyes. The Clothesline is enough to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but I’ve missed heels using basic moves like a rake of the eyes. It’s such a simple way to look evil and it works wonders. Not everything has to be some run-in to distract a guy for a rollup finish and this is proof. Unfortunately modern wrestling writers don’t get that and we’re stuck with the same stuff over and over again.

JBL would lose the title to Rey Mysterio at Wrestlemania 25 in about 40 seconds before quitting in a big fit. I’ve heard him call that the perfect way for the character to go out and I can’t say I disagree. Overall JBL is a guy that totally overachieved and found the perfect character for himself. It’s another example of a guy doing his best when he’s allowed to play an exaggerated version of himself, which is a lesson that a lot of wrestlers and bookers should learn.

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Last night’s show was a one idea show for the most part but I don’t remember many people talking about one thing this month outside of Wrestlemania or Daniel Bryan in a long time. Let’s get to it.

The opening segment was one basic idea: Batista quit Evolution. In case you don’t remember this, WWE will show you a total of four times over the rest of the show. Other than that, HHH decided that the war with Shield isn’t over because he decided it’s not over. This is where things start to get hairy for the rest of the show. Above all else, there is zero reason for this story to continue. It’s keeping things going because the script says it does. When Shield beat Evolution in three straight falls on Sunday, why should we need to see them fight even more?

After a break, Batista confirms that when he said he quit, he indeed meant that he quit.

Sheamus, Cesaro, Barrett and Van Dam continued their intertwining stories without doing much of anything else. The important thing here was that Cesaro walked out on the match, much to Barrett’s annoyance. This looks to set up Cesaro vs. Barrett, but I’d assume Van Dam gets thrown in as well. Not much to this one but it advanced stories.

Damien Sandow continued to dress up like various characters, in this case as an Indiana Pacer. Big Show beat him up and that was that. The idea can go somewhere, but there’s no indication that it’s going to anytime soon. I know there’s something about the rant that was cut off on the pre-show, but it’s never mentioned and the whole story just feels like they threw it at him without any real reason.

Bo Dallas beat Kofi Kingston in the same match Bo has had since he debuted. Kingston is however a step up so he’s going somewhere. Nothing to see here but Dallas is nailing the character.

Stephanie and Cena had a long talk about what it means to strip someone of the title. The only announcement here is Bryan will defend the title against Kane in a stretcher match if he can, but if not then the ladder match is for the title. The highlight of this one though were some great lines from Stephanie and Cena, including Cena saying that Stephanie had some surgery and putting that idea “in a chest” to think about later and Stephanie making fun of the dueling chants by saying “oh sure you all like that idea” when Cena insulted her. When Stephanie isn’t taking herself too seriously, she can be a really entertaining person to watch.

Then Cena beat Kane via DQ in a really boring match. These two just don’t work well together.

Los Matadores and 3MB did their thing. Nothing to this one but it was really fast so there wasn’t much to complain about. I’m thinking one more match for the little guys.

The Divas match of the week also tied into Bryan vs. Stephanie as Nikki is being tortured for saying she missed her sister. Aksana and Alicia Fox beat up Nikki then Fox shouted about hashtags because in the modern world, people shout HASHTAG LOSER instead of saying YOU’RE A LOSER. Wester civilization is in its decline.

Another interesting story is Bray Wyatt not being on the show after losing at Payback. This leaves the Family alone to take up Bray’s cause in his absence, which leads to some intriguing possibilities.

Rose beat Swagger to continue their feud which doesn’t mean a ton anymore.

The Wyatt Family beat the Usos in a good back and forth fight which should set up a title match down the line. I can live with this one because the Usos are injured, but at the end of the day, is there any reason this had to happen? Now I know the Family can beat the Usos, which takes away a lot of the intrigue of traditional wrestling builds.

In the match that got on my nerves, Alberto Del Rio pretty much destroyed Dolph Ziggler in a Money in the Bank qualifying match. Del Rio might as well have been beating up Xavier Woods as he won via clean submission in less than six minutes. This came off like WWE saying “we have the power so stop cheering this guy because we’re just going to have him lose and lose and lose until you stop.” I have no idea why WWE feels the need to keep putting people down, especially when the fans like them and WWE is REALLY in need of top faces. Actually not even top faces, but just big faces. I mean, would it hurt to put him in an eight man match that he won’t win?

Cody Rhodes picked Sin Cara to be Goldust’s partner against Ryback/Curtis Axel. As you can guess this went badly, but it’s an interesting story. It pretty clearly ends with Cody realizing that it was Goldust who was the weak link and turning heel as a result, but there’s nothing wrong with that as it makes sense.

Rusev got a medal from an English speaking Russian government official. This was short and so was Lana’s skirt so it wasn’t too bad.

Then for the moment that made my eyes roll: Bray Wyatt will be back on Smackdown. AFTER FOUR DAYS OFF! Yeah I know it’s so he can be at Money in the Bank, but at least build this up for a few weeks, or have him miss Payback and do the previous match at Extreme Rules. But instead, let’s just do this for FOUR DAYS with less than 24 hours of wondering because why not.

Now we get to the big deal.

The main event was supposed to be Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton, but HHH and the sledgehammer had plan B in mind. Seth Rollins wound up turning on the Shield and attacking Ambrose and Reigns before seemingly joining Evolution. HHH and Rollins stood tall to end the show. This brings up several questions, with one being bigger than the other.

1. WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY THINKING? Now before people explain why this is a great idea, let me say that I don’t hate it at all and there’s a ton of potential for Rollins to be a big deal. That being said, it doesn’t make any sense to do it now and the way they did.

Rollins and the Shield have defeated Evolution twice in a row now, including in three straight falls last night. Why would Rollins leave now? You either have Batista quit before Payback and have HHH say he has a new plan and do the switch at Payback, or have Rollins get beaten at Payback and get annoyed, or have Shield lose. Having him be on the winning team and then turn though? It doesn’t make sense.

2. It felt like a swerve for the sake of a swerve. This ties into the end of the previous point. Why in the world did we need this swerve? It felt like they didn’t have anywhere else to go with this story so they had one guy jump to the other team so it can get another match or move to the Shield splitting. In a word, this felt forced. Like, REALLY forced.

3. Why did Shield have to split like this? After beating everyone (save for the Wyatts), why not just say they have nothing left to accomplish and that they’re going their separate ways but will be there for each other if the need ever arises again? Because this is WWE, where there’s ALWAYS a heel turn to end a team because it was really good when Shawn Michaels did it. Yeah that’s an exaggeration, but the thing just didn’t fit for the most part.

Overall I definitely don’t hate it and it really could do a lot of good for Rollins. It just doesn’t make sense the way they did it, and I have a bad feeling that we’re going to get some version of “I’ll explain when I feel like it”, which is code for “we didn’t think this through but are going with it anyway”. They really like that one and it did a lot of bad things in the NWO, so let’s do it here with the hottest thing in the company.

Raw was ok with a big ending. They don’t seem to have a lot of ideas going into Money in the Bank, which is annoying as MITB is little more than a crutch for the writers to not have to think of anything. It doesn’t help that they’re lazy in the first place, but why make them work when they can just do the same stuff with different people?

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