Monday Night Raw
Date: February 10, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We have an announced main event tonight with Orton continuing to run the Authority gauntlet, meaning tonight it’s Orton vs. Cena. Again. Other than that we’re getting closer to Shield vs. Wyatts at the PPV which has been a well built feud. That Reigns face turn is coming and it’s going to be huge when he spears Ambrose in half. To top it off, we get BETTY WHITE tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Frank Bullock, a production worker who died over the weekend.

Thankfully we’re getting Betty White out of the way first as Big Show returns from the horrible beating at Royal Rumble like it was no big deal to escort her to the stage. She talks about how great it is to be here but the Authority cuts them off. Stephanie hugs White and that’s all for Betty and Big Show for now.

HHH talks about Orton losing last week, which means it’s time to reconsider who is the face of the WWE. It might be any of the six men inside the Elimination Chamber but Orton interrupts the boss. Stephanie: “Are you seriously doing this again?” That line writes about a dozen jokes on its own. She advises Randy to go to the back to get ready for his main event tonight but Orton thinks he owes the two of them an apology.

Orton says he needs to bring the Viper back for the rest of his reign, but Stephanie isn’t sure if she can believe him. A Daniel Bryan chant starts up as Orton talks about the Authority making a promise to him at Summerslam. Orton wants to be the face of the WWE outside of the ring, including being on every piece of advertising and merchandise that WWE produces because he’s the best in the company.

This brings out Daniel Bryan who is almost immediately cut off by Stephanie. She says everyone who wants to speak to them will need to make an appointment with the Director of Operations, but that’s why Bryan came out here. It seems that Kane is nowhere to be seen unless he’s doing the Authority’s bidding, including last week when he tried to help Orton win. Not that it mattered though, as Bryan pinned Randy last week. Tonight, Bryan doesn’t want an appointment with Kane, but he does want a match.

Stephanie says Kane is on administrative leave for a week and a VERY serious letter of performance approval on his file. Bryan says the Authority is a great combination of arrogance and stupidity but that sets Orton off. Daniel brings up a moment from not too long ago (about five years actually) when Orton handcuffed HHH to the ropes and kissed an unconscious Stephanie. HHH says hold off on the Punt because Bryan is getting the night off. The fans chant no but that’s the segment.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio vs. Wyatt Family

Cody pops Rowan in the jaw to start and dropkicks him into the good corner for a tag off to Goldust. A quick tag brings in Harper who charges into a boot in the corner, setting up a middle rope hurricanrana from Goldie. Cody adds a missile dropkick to send Luke outside, followed by a sliding Rey splash as we take a break.

Back with Rowan cranking on Goldust’s neck and forearming him in the jaw to stop a comeback attempt. Harper comes in with a hard slam for two but Cody comes in for the save. Off to Bray for his aggressive offense and a hard elbow to drop Goldust. Rowan gets two off a knee drop but walks into a middle rope elbow to the jaw to put both guys down. Goldust low bridges him to the floor but Harper comes in and knocks the partners off the apron. Luke walks into a powerslam though and the hot tag brings in Mysterio.

Rey sends Harper into the post and hits a top rope seated senton followed by a tornado DDT for two. Bray makes the save but caught in the 619 position. Harper joins him but Rey only hits Luke as Bray rams Mysterio face first into the apron. Cody and Goldust dive off the steps to take out some Wyatts, leaving Rey alone with Luke in the ring. Rey loads another 619 but Bray charges in and hits a running Sister Abigail for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: C+. Is anyone else getting tired of these six man tags? Shield and the Wyatts have been doing these matches for a year now and while they’re still entertaining, it’s becoming a “we’ve seen this” feeling. The ending sequence with the chaos is always fun but I’m starting to roll my eyes when I hear about a six man tag later in the show.

Post match Bray calls the Shield toy soldiers in a war that isn’t for them. After the war is over, it’s time for the Wyatt’s new day to begin.

Video on Reigns breaking Kane’s Royal Rumble record.

Renee Young asks Reigns about the Shield so he calls her baby girl and says actions speak louder than words. Ambrose and Reigns agree but Renee asks Ambrose about never defending the US Title. Apparently it takes a lot of paperwork to get a title match set up but Reigns doesn’t buy it. Dean puts out an open challenge for the title tonight and walks away, leaving Reigns smiling.

The Divas talk to Betty White when Vickie Guerrero comes in. We’re promised clips of Betty’s show about practical jokes but the New Age Outlaws come up to offer her protection from any pranks later tonight. They escort Betty off to get a cup of tea and the Divas aren’t sure what’s going on.

We look back at Cena vs. Orton at Breaking Point in 2009 with Orton basically filming a torture movie with Cena as the victim.

Santino Marella vs. Fandango

Santino has Emma with him. Fandango quickly takes him down with some headbutts as the fans chant for JBL. Miz comes out to commentary again and says how ridiculous it is for a Hollywood movie star like him to not be in a match while Twinkletoes and a guy whose act is older than Betty White can get in the ring. Cole: “What’s his problem?” Sanitno’s comeback goes nowhere as the headbutt hits knees, setting up the guillotine legdrop to give Fandango the pin at 2:23.

Byron Saxton (NXT commentator and former wrestler) asks Sheamus about teaming with Christian against the Real Americans later tonight. Sheamus talks about always respecting Christian, which makes the teaming a bit easier. Maybe they can even have a pint after the show. That would mean an Irishman and a Canadian walk into a bar on Hollywood Boulevard, but that sounds like the start of a bad joke. The Elimination Chamber isn’t a joke, because it’s the chance to go to Wrestlemania. Sheamus will kick anyone in the face to headline the biggest show of the year.

Sheamus/Christian vs. Real Americans

Before the match we get a quick promo from Christian who thinks he might make a good face of the WWE. He doesn’t have poster boy good looks, though is mom thinks he does. What he does have is a pair of World Heavyweight Titles, but he should make it three at Elimination Chamber. Colter does his usual schtick before the match and thinks Christian and Sheamus snuck across the border after their injuries.

Zeb says Cesaro starts and Swagger isn’t happy with it. A loud WE THE PEOPLE chant starts with Cesaro slamming Christian around before bringing in Swagger. Jack misses a charge in the corner and gets caught by a middle rope dropkick for two. Off to Sheamus who knocks Jack from corner to corner before it’s Cesaro back in with rights and lefts in the corner.

Sheamus comes back with a neckbreaker for two but Cesaro fires off a series of European uppercuts to the delight of the crowd. Sheamus is all BRING IT ON and the fans aren’t pleased as his comeback. A top rope shoulder gets two for the Irishman but a Swagger distraction lets Antonio kick Sheamus to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro taking the Irish Curse for two before it’s back to Christian for a sunset flip, good for two of his own.

The middle rope elbow to the jaw puts Cesaro down but he fights out of the Killswitch. Christian charges into Swiss Death for two and it’s back to Swagger for a front facelock. Swagger breaks up a hot tag attempt and we get the Vader Bomb into the running double stomp for two. Cesaro loads up the Swing to a great reaction and Christian has to get back inside after a nine count. Swagger comes in with a powerslam for two of his own before tagging back to Cesaro, only to have Christian avoid a charge in the corner.

Jack is sent to the floor as well and it’s a double tag to Sheamus vs. Swagger. There are the ten forearms to get the fans back on Sheamus’ side and he loads up the Brogue Kick. Cesaro makes ANOTHER save before the kick is launched and Swagger puts Sheamus in the Patriot Lock. Christian comes in with a high cross body before taking Cesaro out with a DDT, setting up the Brogue Kick for the pin on Jack at 14:30.

Rating: C+. Nice match here again with Cesaro looking like a killer for the most part. The best sign for Sheamus was that the fans didn’t dislike him but that they liked Cesaro more. As soon as it was Sheamus vs. Swagger the fans were right back on Sheamus’ side, proving that he’s still a fan favorite. Cesaro needs to get away from Swagger like six months ago.

Cena says he and Orton have dominated WWE for ten years but now the fans are choosing new superstars like Daniel Bryan. The match tonight is about the future, as Cena closes his rivalry with Randy Orton once and for all. Why do they even bother with lines like that anymore? If the Wyatts, Shield, Cesaro or Bryan think they can be the future, know that they’ll have to go through Cena to get there.

Quick highlight reel of Batista Bombs.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto fires off some quick kicks to start but Ziggler takes him down and hits the ten elbow drops. Ziggler gets two off the Fameasser but Del Rio kicks him in the knee and hits the low superkick for the pin at 1:30.

Del Rio goes after Dolph but Batista makes the save and spears Alberto down. He loads up the announce table and powerbombs Del Rio through it to shut him up for a change.

The Bellas tell us how to get the WWE Network.

HHH tells Batista he can’t do the kind of things he just did. A match between Del Rio and Batista is made for Elimination Chamber.

The newest Hall of Fame class is Lita. Nothing wrong with that.

Betty White has tea with the Outlaws but isn’t sure she should trust them. Dogg spikes the tea while Betty admires a tag title but stops to ask for lemons. She switches teacups with Billy while the Outlaws get lemons for her. Comedy will ensue later I’m sure.

Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

The Outlaws are out for commentary. Jey hammers away on Axel to start as Cole talks about the Outlaws fighting the Usos’ dads. Billy has a stomach ache and I think we’ve got some COMEDY coming up. Ryback comes in again to work on Jey in the corner as Billy’s ailments continue. Back to Axel as Dogg won’t agree to defend against the Usos. Ryback comes in to stomp away as the Goldberg chants begin.

Jimmy comes off the middle rope with a cross body and makes the tag to Jey as house is cleaned. A superkick puts Axel down as the Billy shenanigans continue. Jimmy dives over the top to take out Ryback while tagging at the same time. Jey comes in off the top with the Superfly Splash (while pointing at the Outlaws in midair) for the pin on Axel at 4:00.

Rating: D+. That ending sequence was awesome and I’m glad we’re getting to the Usos getting back in the title hunt. It’s WAY overdue for them to win the titles and a title change at Wrestlemania would be perfect. The Outlaws continue to be a waste of time as champions but if they lose before Wrestlemania it’ll be ok enough.

Billy leaves quickly with stomach issues.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. ???

This is Dean’s first defense since October and it’s Mark Henry accepting the challenge. So what was he going to do if there wasn’t an open challenge? The look on Dean’s face is GREAT as his eyes bug out with a terrified smile at the same time. We get big match intros and Ambrose is terrified from the opening bell. Henry shoves him down with ease despite having a heavily bandaged elbow.

Ambrose bails to the floor before getting in some kicks to the elbow. Henry kicks him square in the jaw to stop the champion’s control and sends him into the buckle a few times. Dean goes shoulder first into the post but he takes the brace off Henry’s bad elbow. Mark casually hiptosses him to the outside and we take a break.

Back with Dean still in control and putting on a Fujiwara armbar, only to have Henry fight up and slam Dean off the top. A powerslam crushes Ambrose and Henry counters the bulldog driver into the World’s Strongest Slam, only to have Rollins come in for the title saving disqualification at 8:00.

Rating: D. I’m glad Henry didn’t win as the title changing needs to be a bigger deal than an open challenge getting it off Ambrose. I’m glad it wasn’t Reigns either as the Shield has a big enough story going with the Wyatts to split even further at the moment. Boring match for the most part though and that’s not good.

Reigns spears Henry down post match but the Wyatts’ intro cuts them off. The Family comes to the ring for the face to face staredown and Shield comes back over the barricade. The Wyatts step forward as well as they’re all around the ring. The fans like what they see as Shield gets on the apron. Shield gets in the ring but the Wyatts back off with Bray smiling the whole way.

We look back at Orton attacking Cena’s dad a few weeks ago.

Black History Month video on Bobo Brazil.

Aksana/Alicia Fox/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins/Cameron

Nikkia hits a quick facebuster on AJ to start and sends her to the floor before it’s off to Aksana. Nikki does the Worm for no apparent reason and kicks Aksana in the back for two. Brie comes in and is slammed down for two and it’s off to Alicia for another slam out of the corner for two more. A rollup gets two for Brie and Alicia runs her over to set up a chinlock. Nikki is sent to the floor as Cameron gets the hot tag and cleans house. Cameron takes Alicia down with a headscissors and gets two off a dropkick to the side of the head. A DDT, apparently called Girl Bye is enough to pin Fox at 4:43.

Rating: D-. Next. That’s all I’ve got here.

Be A Star rally at a middle school earlier today means we get MORE STEPHANIE!

We recap the opening segment.

Here’s Kane who accepts the punishment set down by the Authority and admits that it was ill advised to act on his own. Bryan cuts him off before this can go too far and the fight is on. Kane uppercuts Bryan down but gets low bridged to the floor. Bryan hits the FLYING GOAT and dropkicks Kane into the crowd.

Betty White thanks the fans for welcoming her and introduces us to the main event. Nothing wrong with that.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

This DEFINES THE FUTURE, whatever that means. Feeling out process to start with Cena sending Orton outside off an armdrag. Back in and John grabs a headlock and gets a quick one off a hiptoss, sending Orton bailing to the floor again. Orton hits the ring again and pounds on Cena with right hands followed by a back elbow to the jaw. They head back outside with Cena being rammed face first into the announce table and dropped back first onto the barricade.

Back from a break with Orton stomping away but getting slammed down. Cena starts his comeback but Orton ducks the second shoulder as everyone knows it’s coming. That’s one thing I’ve always liked about Orton: he’s one of the few guys that learns from earlier matches. Back in and Cena tries an AA but gets caught with a DDT for two. Orton listens to the crowd a bit too long and it’s Cena hitting his finishing sequence but Randy counters the AA into a backbreaker for two.

Cena still can’t hit the AA and gets caught in a powerslam for two more. John blocks a superplex attempt but gets caught in the Elevated DDT out of the corner. There’s no cover though as Orton yells at the crowd and laughs evily. The RKO is countered into the STF but Randy is quickly in the ropes.

A dropkick from the champion puts Cena down again and Randy gets serious by POINTING TO THE SIGN. Orton misses the Punt but escapes the AA for the fourth time tonight before the RKO gets two. The required AA gets the required near fall but Orton fights out of the middle rope AA. Cena hits the top rope Fameasser and grabs a quick AA for the pin at 20:53.

Rating: C+. Now NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN. That’s what’s so annoying about this never ending series: the matches are usually good like this one was, but I just do not want to see them fight anymore. Any kind of spark this match used to have is gone as Cena has easily won the rivalry over the years and there’s just nothing special to it anymore.

Overall Rating: C-. This felt like Smackdown on a Monday night. Nothing here felt like I needed to see it and none of the stories felt like they went anywhere. Batista vs. Del Rio for the PPV was a given, the Shield and Wyatts didn’t really do anything new, Ambrose defended the title in a meaningless match, and I think I’ve seen that main event somewhere before. It wasn’t a bad show or anything but this episode could easily have been skipped with nothing changing in a fan’s eyes. It’s ok to have one of those around this time, as long as it doesn’t become the norm.

Results

Wyatt Family b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio – Sister Abigail to Mysterio

Fandango b. Santino Marella – Guillotine legdrop

Sheamus/Christian b. Real Americans – Brogue Kick to Swagger

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Superkick

Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Axel

Mark Henry b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

Bella Twins/Cameron b. AJ Lee/Aksana/Alicia Fox – Girl Bye to Fox

John Cena b. Randy Orton – Attitude Adjustment

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Last night’s show was polarizing to say the least. I’ve seen people calling it a classic to a decent show to the worst show in a long time. As usual I found myself right in the middle. We’ll start with the beginning of course.

First and foremost, the crowd was chanting for CM Punk throughout the night. Here’s the thing that people keep forgetting: Punk walked out on the company and the fans. In a word, he quit. Punk wasn’t being held back by the company, he wasn’t being misused and he wasn’t some kind of a martyr. He quit a job that he wasn’t happy at anymore and that’s all there was to it. The fans chanting for him comes off as more anti-WWE than pro-Punk, but that’s not what it should be.

This brings me to the Authority, who interrupted Orton while he was fighting the Punk chants. To clarify, HHH didn’t want Bryan to be champion but now that Orton has done everything HHH wants, HHH doesn’t want Orton as champion either and keeps setting up new hoops for Randy to jump through. Then he’s all pro-Bryan even though nothing seems to have changed between the two of them. Whether he’s acting like one or not, HHH is supposed to be a heel but isn’t acting like one at all. Last week was great when he was acting like a corporate jerk to Bryan but being the same to Orton is just confusing.

Next up was the further murdering of the midcard title scene. JBL mentioned that Ambrose never defends his US Title and Langston loses the fall. Big E. suddenly has nothing to do at all after spending weeks fighting off a challenger of the month for the title which was as basic of a story as you can get but it worked fine. Now both champions are making the titles look more and more worthless despite being strong to start. In other words, they’re the same as every midcard champion has been for years.

Shield vs. Wyatts is going to be amazing. I don’t think I need to go any further than that.

I don’t get the deal with Lawler interrupting Bad News Barrett. I don’t think they’re building to a match between the two of them, but Barrett needs ANYTHING to do right now and Jerry Lawler isn’t going to make things better for him. He was a good character when he was pointing out how bad stuff was, but saying stuff like “eating junk food is bad for you” isn’t going to get anyone to care about him.

Swagger losing is little more than another losing streak angle that they’ve used a dozen times before. Stop with the same ideas over and over again and come up with some actual stories for the split. Say Swagger is in love with a foreign chick or have Sin Cara help him so Swagger realizes Colter is wrong or something so people can actually RELATE TO HIM instead of just making him look pathetic and going for pity.

Betty White as the guest host is just…..there. She’ll make some people chuckle, she’ll interact with some comedy guys, she’ll make fun of low level heels, and then she’ll leave and will be mentioned once more in about a year or so and people will say “Oh yeah. She was on Raw once.” Seriously, that’s it.

Now on to the biggest disaster of the night: that cage match. This was just horrible for a few reasons. First and foremost, the Outlaws just aren’t any good in the ring and I have no idea why people would expect them to be. Do you remember the Outlaws in the 90s? They were the Honky Tonk Man of the division, winning by cheating in ways that no one had even invented yet and stealing the belts from every team that deserved them until the fans found their antics funny and turned them face as a result.

Now they’re beating a good team clean because people remember them as awesome and think that means they used to be good in the ring. It doesn’t help that they’re playing to the crowd and can do that as well as any team in history so the fans are always going to cheer for them, making Cody and Goldust, as in the team that has worked harder than anyone to get over, look like afterthoughts as we set up their singles feud (which no one wants to see) through ANOTHER losing streak angle.

In other words, we’re pushing nostalgia as faces (nothing wrong with that) at the expense of good faces (a lot wrong with that). Have the Outlaws doing this stuff to 3MB or the Real Americans or ANY heel team and the act is much more fun and logical than anything else. Instead it’s hurting Goldust and Cody to make a team with an average age of 47 years old and who are only out there on a nostalgia run. On top of that, their matches have SUCKED and Road Dogg nearly let Cody kill himself by not taking a step to the left to catch him. Oh and why can Road Dogg swear during the in-ring entrances but not the song opening?

Moving on to the next match we have Titus O’Neil as a monster heel which I really dig. The guy was the best thing not named the Usos about the dying days of the original NXT and I’d love to see him pushed as something that matters. The Clash of the Titus is a great power move and looks awesome when used.

During that same match we had Miz come out and complain that he couldn’t get on the show while a guy that makes internet championships and a guy who barks like a dog get TV time. Word on the street is that he’s being paired with Ziggler (check out the promo from the App on Smackdown to see more. We’ll be back to Dolph later) as two disgruntled performers who want to be higher on the card. Sounds like they’re parodying/mocking Punk to me but maybe not.

What I liked here though was Miz felt spontaneous. How many times have you seen a match end and we cut to the back where two people just happen to be standing in front of a camera so it can catch their conversation, which clearly hasn’t started until the match ended? That kind of thing drives me insane because it looks SO scripted. Miz coming out during a match made it feel like he had to get this off his chest and didn’t flag down a cameraman and demand time so it could be aired after the match. It happened right then and there, making it feel more realistic. I miss that so much anymore.

This brings us to the dance off with Summer Rae and Emma. They did this same bit in NXT which worked better there because of one simple reason: the fans know who Emma is. This is the same reason why Diamond Dallas Page never got over in the WWF. See, down in NXT it’s a much more close knit atmosphere. The fans feel like they’re a part of the show and they’ve embraced Emma and want their people to be the little engines that can and show they can be just as good as WWE (same as ECW when you think about it).

Well WWE fans have no idea who Emma is for the most part. She’s just some chick that dances in the crowd and holds up a sign that says EMMALUTION while Cole says “Oh she’s from NXT”, which a lot of fans have no idea exists. The people didn’t care about Emma because they have no reason to care about Emma. She’s just some chick that has been at Raw for the last month and apparently dances a lot. Why should I care about that unless I watch NXT?

Next up was Sheamus not squashing Curtis Axel in seven minutes. Sheamus is in the world title match at the next PPV and took seven minutes to beat a jobber to the stars. That’s not acceptable.

Batista was up next but thankfully was cut off by Alberto Del Rio. Why are these two fighting? Because Del Rio thinks Batista doesn’t deserve that title shot. Not that Del Rio wants the title shot for himself or anything, because that would just be a stupid thing to add to the match. It might actually intrigue people or something and we wouldn’t want that.

The Wyatts squashed the dancers and Ziggler to further make my head hurt. The announcers acknowledged the promo Ziggler cut and then he goes out and gets destroyed in five minutes like nothing has changed at all. This is what I’m talking about when I say the writers don’t remember anything that happened five minutes ago. Have Dolph be frustrated or try extra hard or SOMETHING, but don’t have him say one thing then do another and expect us to care about him. Or maybe you could, I don’t know, SHOW US THE PROMO instead of just hyping the App. You show us stuff from it every week but not that?

There was a Divas match between Naomi and Aksana which was just embarrassing. Near the end Naomi caught Aksana in a head scissors position out of the corner but didn’t take Aksana down. Instead she just wiggled her hips in the air and let go. From a kayfabe perspective, what does that accomplish? How does that help Naomi win the match? It makes her look like she doesn’t take this seriously, so why should I take her as a serious challenger to AJ?

Last up was the main event, which made things even worse. First of all let me clarify: the match was very entertaining, but the story made no sense. Kane interfered at the end, presumably sent by the Authority (unless the Authority complains about him interfering later, we have no reason to assume they disagree with what he did) to help Orton win. Why would they come out and help Orton win if they seemingly had no problem with Bryan beating him?

Again, the Authority tries to play both sides without ever playing heels ON CAMERA. Their interference is implied here, but whenever they’re on screen they’ll be talking down to Orton like he’s a child (imagine someone saying that to Rock, Austin, Hogan, or any other champion. The reaction alone would turn them face but instead Orton just nods and accepts it because the Authority is all powerful and cannot be questioned) and say Orton has to regain their trust before starting this cycle all over again.

To put it into one sentence, the Authority storyline makes no sense. What do they want? Orton as face of the company? Fine, but if they want him as face of the company, why constantly move the goal posts on him? You do that to people you hate, not people you want to be the top guy. Vince did it to Austin and Bischoff did it to WCW when he ran the NWO. And why is HHH backing Bryan after spending months telling him he was worthless? The Authority is Johnny Ace without the goofy charisma and that’s not a good thing at all.

A few other notes here:

Were there any backstage segments last night? There weren’t a ton on Smackdown that I remember and now there were none last night. I rather like that idea as there are usually WAY too many and they drag the show down. One or two is fine but keep those things quick and have them mean something.

No Cena due to the eye injury which is all you can ask for. He ran in for the post show beatdown of Orton and Kane but I’d assume his eye was too messed up to be seen on camera. That’s the right idea as you need him healthy for Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania, not a Raw in early February.

Overall I thought Raw was good last night, but this Authority nonsense has been going on WAY too long. The Authority is fine as a heel idea, but have them be HEELS, not people who treat everyone like garbage. It makes your heels look weak and keeps fans from caring about seeing them get beaten up. A double standard is a heel tactic, but when you use it on another heel, it just confuses people.

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We continue our international run with a stop in Ireland for the Celtic Warrior Sheamus.

Sheamus started training in New Jersey in 2002 but was badly injured and out of action for the better part of two years. He would get back into things in Irish Whip Wrestling, which I believe is the largest organization in the country. He would become the most popular star in the company and the first IWW Heavyweight Champion on March 28, 2005. This is a match from a bit over a week before that with Sheamus O’Shaunessy vs. Charlie Rage in Dublin.

Sheamus O’Shaunessy vs. Charlie Rage

WOW. Sheamus is 27 years old here, far less muscular and looks to be about 19 with no facial hair and hair longer than he wears it now. Rage jumps Sheamus during his entrance before taking him down with a headlock. The commentator is rather good here with a very clear voice and some fast analysis. Sheamus is nicknamed SOS here and fights out of a test of strength, properly called a Greco-Roman Knuckle Lock. A running powerslam (SOS Drop) gets two for Sheamus and Rage bails to the floor.

The fans are WAY into Sheamus as he pulls Rage back inside. We get a crisscross before Sheamus stops in the middle, points to the ceiling, and slaps the distracted Rage. Charlie tries to do the same thing and gets smacked again in a funny bit. The fans start an OLE chant but Rage calms them down with a low blow to break up a full nelson. Rage gets in an argument with the referee but goes back to Sheamus with a big knee drop for two. Sheamus pops back up and gorilla presses the rotund Charlie for two of his own.

A cross body gets the same and Sheamus says it’s over. What appeared to be White Noise is countered with a rake to the face and it’s off to the chinlock. Sheamus fights back but walks into a spinebuster for two. Rage tries a headscissors out of the corner but is shoved outside and taken down by a top rope (told you he was different then) ax handle to the floor. Rage comes back with a delayed vertical suplex for two of his own before laying him out with a Jackhammer but Sheamus won’t stay down. Actually he gets up enough for a Death Valley Driver and the pin on Rage.

Rating: C. It’s not a great match or anything but you can see the star in Sheamus waiting to come out. He looked very confident out there despite being a totally different wrestler than he’s most famous for being. Rage was a generic big heel but that’s the kind of guy you have top faces beat up.

Sheamus’ biggest feud in Ireland was with Thee (weirdest nickname I’ve ever heard) Drew Galloway (McIntyre) and I’d be missing a big piece of his history if I didn’t include a match between them. From July 1, 2006 in Dublin.

IWW Title: Sheamus O’Shaunessy vs. Drew Galloway

Sheamus is defending and is the huge face here in Ireland. He looks FAR more like he does now with trunks instead of shorts, a mustache and short hair. Coming out to rap music is very strange though. Sheamus shoves him around to start and Galloway is quickly sent to the floor. Back in and Drew grabs a headlock but Sheamus counters into one of his own and takes him down to the mat. One sided so far.

Off to a front facelock as Thee (doesn’t work when the commentator says it either) and right back to the headlock. Drew comes back with some forearms and backdrops Sheamus out to the floor. Back in and Drew puts on something resembling a Sharpshooter but instead of pulling on the legs he leans back and pulls on Sheamus’ arms. The hold doesn’t stay long and Drew drops a knee on the arm. Sheamus comes right back with a German suplex but can’t follow up. Drew misses a middle rope legdrop and it’s Sheamus with a backbreaker into a fallaway slam. There’s the Death Valley Driver but Charlie Rage comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. I can see why these two would have some solid matches if they had more time and a better story. Sheamus was starting to round into form here with the power game but he wasn’t quite to the level he would reach yet. Galloway is the kind of guy that would have been a big deal if he wasn’t crushed all the time, but that’s what nasty divorces do for you.

Galloway is declared the winner even though Rage pulled Sheamus off the cover.

It was soon off to the WWE for Sheamus as there was just nothing left for him to do but go to the big leagues. First up on the way to the big leagues: the minor league, meaning FCW. After doing nothing of note for months, he defeated Jake Hager (Jack Swagger) for the FCW Title. Here’s a title defense from November 8, 2008 against Carson Oakley (Alex Riley).

FCW Title: Sheamus O’Shaunessy vs. Carson Oakley

Sheamus is a heel here with very tall hair. There’s some confusion as to whether this is a title match or not but the announcer described it as one and it sounds better that way. Carson gets a few rollups for two each and hits a nice dropkick but Sheamus (in the shorts again) takes him down with a clothesline. Some knees to the chest and a backdrop have Oakley down as we might be in squash territory. The yet to be named Brogue Kick puts Carson down and a chokebomb called the Firey Red Hand is enough to end this quick. Total dominance.

Sheamus would debut on ECW in June and be on Raw in less than six months, taking part in a breaththrough battle royal with a group of people who had never been world champion (and Randy Orton) fighting for a title shot against John Cena at TLC.

Breakthrough Battle Royal

Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Randy Orton

Vince and Jesse are on commentary for this one. Vince comes out to the theme from SNME which is just awesome. It’s great to hear Vince on commentary as he clearly loves what his product is and is a promoter at heart. Legacy stays in one corner and immediately go after Kofi. It’s a big brawl but Sheamus stays in a corner to himself. Orton is on the floor but he went through the ropes.

Things slow down before they ever got going. I don’t think Sheamus has had any contact with anyone yet. He was biding his time though and picks off R-Truth, throwing him out after a clothesline. Legacy works over Kofi in the corner and Orton is back in. Sheamus Brogue Kicks MVP and tosses him to get us down to six. Henry goes after Sheamus but Legacy makes the save for some reason. Sheamus is on the apron but gets back in.

Henry double clotheslines Legacy to the floor but Sheamus drills him in the back and dumps Henry. We’re down to Orton, Kofi and Sheamus. Orton and Kofi hammer away on each other and Sheamus gets knocked down. Jesse goes on a small anti-Chaney rant as Kofi is sent to the floor. He skins the cat though and headscissors Randy out. Sheamus takes Kofi’s head off with a double ax, knocking him to the floor to become #1 contender.

Rating: D. Very boring match but it was a great thing to see them really trying to push someone else as a main event guy. That was something that was badly missing at this point and pushing Sheamus was as good a move as they could have made. It gave them some fresh blood in the main event and if 2009 taught us anything, it was that Raw was dying for fresh main event blood.

After losing the title inside the Elimination Chamber, Sheamus lost his first singles match as part of the Raw roster to HHH at Wrestlemania because HHH. The rematch was a street fight at Extreme Rules. Earlier in the night, Sheamus had attacked HHH backstage.

Street Fight: Sheamus vs. HHH

HHH of course controls to start things off which is bearable I guess. He hits the spinebuster but can’t get the Pedigree because of the arm being how hurt it is. Now this is more like it. He’s just ramming HHH into the barricade over and over again. I forgot this is a street fight. That’s not a good sign at all.

Striker and King are arguing like no other here and it’s coming off as great. Striker says he and Lawler have both wrestled hurt. That’s rather stupid. Striker wrestled for what, a year or so? Just seems ridiculous to compare the two of them. And of course HHH has the energy to use a DDT with his left arm.

HHH grabs a pipe and smacks HHH in the head with it. Naturally he kicks out. Sure why not? Apparently after a massive Irish man blasts you in the head with a steel pipe you can kick out via instinct. Sure why not? Celtic Cross is blocked. Apparently that’s called Pale Justice now. HHH gets a kendo stick and all of a sudden his arm is fine. That makes my head hurt. This has at least picked up a bit. Pump kick hits though. A second kick hits and it’s all Sheamus.

Naturally he lets HHH get up and the third and fourth kicks land to FINALLY end him. And remember kiddies: do not attempt making yourself look that strong without a licensed wife with connections. To be fair, the ending makes this a lot more bearable. Post match he fights off a cervical collar and tries to crawl off. He’s almost to the entrance when Sheamus hits ANOTHER kick to put him down again. Nice.

Rating: C-. The second half saved this match. The first half was borderline failure but the weapons helped it a lot. Sheamus winning is the right thing though, period. Yes HHH looked very strong, but to be fair he laid down at the end of the match and that’s what counts at the end of the day. Not terrible but more about the angle afterwards than the match.

Sheamus would win the WWE Title back in a surprise at Fatal Fourway with the help of the invading Nexus (Sheamus didn’t join them), making it clear that there was something to him. He would hold the belt until Night of Champions three months later but would be overshaddowed by Nexus. After losing the title Sheamus dropped down to the midcard for a bit but he had a fresh batch of opponents to face, including John Morrison in a falls count anywhere match on the September 13 episode of Raw.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

I’m not sure why but this sounds awesome to me. It’s Falls Count Anywhere. Sheamus beats him down to start but Morrison does some gymnastics to get out of it. We head to the floor and into the crowd. Irish Curse on the floor and Morrison is in trouble. He gets dropped ribs first onto the railing near the production stuff for two. It was in the ribs of Morrison so of course it didn’t hurt.

Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick into a production box and it shoots sparks. Onto the stage and it’s all Sheamus. Morrison counters something but winds up getting thrown off the stage. He does a front flip though and lands on his feet. Flash Kick with Morrison getting a running jump up to the stage and using the edge like a top rope, somehow only getting two.

They fight more on the floor and Sheamus finds a chair. He hits the stage but Morrison somehow gets up on the NOC sign and hits a HUGE cross body off of it for TWO. Out of nowhere Jericho pops up and cracks Morrison over the back with a chair for Sheamus to get the pin. He sits in the ring as we go to break.

Rating: A-. That’s likely WAY too high but I had a blast with this match. I like this pairing and Morrison’s stuff is literally the kind of stuff you see in action movies. The ending with Jericho is a bit annoying because I wanted to see more of this, but I guess Morrison vs. Jericho is your non-title match for Night of Champions. Find this match as some of the spots are just completely insane. Find the warmup too as it’s cool stuff.

Sheamus wouldn’t be done with Morrison as the two would meet in the King of the Ring finals in November. Instead of doing the same match twice in a row, we’ll look at Sheamus’ first round match against Kofi Kingston instead.

King of the Ring Quarter-Finals: Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus

This is more or less a semi-final match. Sheamus destroys him to start with power moves and the Irish Curse for two. Punk points out that he carried Kofi to his first title in WWE. A graphic on the bottom says Kofi has his own PPV Special all December. He’s that big of a deal already? Really? Kofi wakes up a bit I guess to advertise the PPV, hitting the Boom Drop for two.

High Cross is reversed and Kofi gets Trouble in Paradise. The Irishman lands under the ropes to buy time though like a true former champion. Pendulum Kick has Sheamus in trouble. Kofi jumps off the top right into the Brogue Kick and is more or less dead to end it in about 4:30.

Rating: B-. I liked this a good bit here as both guys had the chance to look good. Sheamus looked like he was thinking out there which is always the best thing you can ask for. This worked pretty well and it gives Sheamus a credible win. I can’t imagine he’ll get anyone but Morrison in the finals but odder things have happened.

After a quick losing streak and meaningless US Title reign, Sheamus would toil around the company until July. Around that time Mark Henry was on a rampage and no one would dare stand up to him. One night on Smackdown, Henry was bragging about how everyone was scared of him until Sheamus came to the ring. With the three simple words of “I’ll fight him”, Sheamus turned face for the first time in his WWE career. The two would fight at Summerslam with Sheamus losing by countout but there would be a rematch on August 29, 2011.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

This is a rematch from Summerslam which they’ve played up about as much as humanly possible tonight. Booker says he’d be upset if he had been here 15 years like Henry had and got disrespected. It really has been 15 years. It seems like at least 16 or so. This is what you would expect from these two: a power brawl. Sheamus takes over to start and then Henry uses his power to take him back down.

Henry steps on his chest but Sheamus fires off some right hands. That goes nowhere as Henry headbutts him back down. What would a power match be without the heel throwing on a bear hug? They keep up the idea of Sheamus trying to get some shots in but Henry is too strong. Henry sets for a gorilla press but Sheamus counters into a pretty nice DDT.

He fires off the axe handles and then the forearms while Henry is in the ropes. A flying shoulder block gets two off the top. Henry rolls to the floor and the fun starts. Henry pulls him to the floor and then sends him literally flying into the barricade. Henry loads up the announce table but Sheamus counters the Slam and gets a big old Brogue Kick to send Henry over the table. Sheamus slides in to beat the count at 7:33.

Rating: C. This was really all they could do here and it’s the right move. They’re even now and Sheamus has a reason to want another crack at Henry because neither has the definitive win yet. This was exactly what you would expect in the form of a brawl and that’s what it should have been. There’s no need to have these guys try to be something they’re not and this match was watchable because of it.

This win set Sheamus off on the roll of a lifetime where he lost only eight singles matches (most of which were by countout or DQ) over the next year. During thie stretch Sheamus won the Royal Rumble and beat Daniel Bryan for the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 28. He would hold the title for several months, including through October 3 when he fought WWE Champions CM Punk in a non-title match on the debut episode of Main Event.

Sheamus vs. CM Punk

Non-title of course. We get big-match intros at least. Punk grabs a headlock and shouts spots in Sheamus’ ear as is his custom. Sheamus puts on one of his own as it looks like we’re in for a long match. Punk takes him to the corner but Sheamus kicks Punk away. The Smackdown Champion (Sheamus) pulls himself to the top but gets shoved to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus guillotining Punk on the top rope and stomping away in the corner, only to get pulled face first into the middle buckle. Punk drops a knee for no cover. That spot between Sheamus’ eyes seems to be bleeding. Punk goes after the shoulder and hits a neckbreaker for two. Sheamus gets back up and starts speeding things up with a high knee followed by a powerslam for two.

Sheamus sets for the ten forearms in the ropes but Punk blocks the first one and hits a high kick for two as we take another break. Back with Sheamus holding his arm on the floor. The arm seems to be fine though as he snaps off a forearm and hits a slingshot shoulder for two. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but Punk hides in the corner. The buckle pad is pulled off as Punk is pulled out and there are the ten forearms to the chest.

White Noise gets two and the fans are getting into this. Heyman seems to be praying or muttering to himself at ringside. Sheamus loads up the Cloverleaf but Punk punches his way out of it. There’s a running knee in the corner followed by the Savage Elbow for two. The GTS is countered and Sheaamus gets the Cloverleaf on in the middle of the ring.

Punk manages to get to a rope and Heyman is panicking even more. They both come out of the corner and Punk charges into the Irish Curse. Sheamus charges again but Punk drop toeholds him into the exposed buckle and rolls Sheamus up with the tights for the pin at 12:18 shown of approximately 18:18.

Rating: B. Good match here and the fact that there was as close to a clean pin as there was is amazing. Sheamus hadn’t lost a singles match since like July but at least it was to another main event guy. For a first match on a new show this was excellent and it was a very good match all around anyway.

He would drop the title to Big Show in October before going right back on another big winning streak. Sheamus would eventually start having issues with the Shield, leading to a six man tag at Wrestlemania 29 with partners Randy Orton and Big Show.

Shield vs. Sheamus/Big Show/Randy Orton

Surprising choice for an opener. Thankfully Shield doesn’t come down from the upper deck of the arena. Sheamus and Reigns get us going and the pale one pounds away from one corner to the other. This is already longer than Sheamus’ match from last year. A forearm puts Reigns down as does a hard clothesline for two. Off to Orton for the knee drop and some stomping. We get Cole’s first error of the night as he says Orton won the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 24 (he retained).

Reigns gets in some shots to the head and it’s off to Rollins. That goes badly as well for Shield as he gets pounded in the corner and suplexed down. Back to Sheamus but Seth gets in a dropkick to the knee to take him down. Ambrose gets the tag and it’s time for some evil double teaming. Sheamus will have none of that though and powerslam Ambrose down for two. Orton is ready for a tag but Show tags himself in instead. He rips Ambrose’s vest open for the LOUD chop and Dean wants another one. Instead he gets about five in a row and a splash in the corner.

Dean actually comes back and dropkicks the knee out to bring in Rollins. A top rope kick gets two on Show and it’s off to Reigns for some hard shots to Show’s back. Ambrose is back in now, sans all of his vest and shirt. Back to Rollins as Shield is tagging in and out very fast. A running kick to the face gets two for Rollins and it’s back to Roman for the chinlock. Big Show fights up with a belly to back suplex but Rollins takes out Orton to break up the tag. That’s fine with Show though as he brings in Sheamus instead for some fast and hard hitting knees to the chest.

Rollins gets his own vest split open and there are the ten forearms to the chest. Ambrose tags himself in from the apron and there are ten forearms for him as well. The Regal Roll puts Dean down and Sheamus hits one on Rollins as well, this one on top of Ambrose. Reigns breaks up something from Sheamus off the top and everything breaks down. Rollins dives through the ropes at Orton and slams his own head into the barricade. Sheamus is triple teamed in the ring but as Shield loads up the TripleBomb, Show spears them all down for the save.

Ambrose is the only one still in the ring for Shield as Sheamus is crawling to the corner. He reaches for Big Show but Orton tags himself in instead. The powerslam sets up the Elevated DDT and Big Show is ticked off. Orton loads up the RKO on Ambrose but Rollins springboards into the RKO instead. Reigns spears Orton down as Big Show watches from the apron for the pin at 10:34.

Rating: B-. Not as good as I was hoping for here but it was still a good match and a fine opener. This was more about the trio instead of the Shield, which is ok I guess but I’m hoping Shield gets to have their moment later on. The good thing here though is that Reigns got a 100% clean pin on Orton. It wasn’t Shield picking the bones. It was a spear and a pin. That’s a big help for the team and a good sign for them.

Sheamus would kind of lose his way soon after this and just beat up random people, including Luke Harper on the July 24, 2013 episode of NXT.

Luke Harper vs. Sheamus

They fight onto the ropes to start and Sheamus grabs a quick headlock. Harper actually runs him over with a shoulder and Sheamus isn’t sure what to do. Sheamus comes back with a shoulder of his own to send Harper to the outside before dropping some knees back inside for two. A running ax handle to the face puts Harper down again as Wyatt gets out of his chair to shout. Sheamus sends Harper to the apron for the forearms but Rowan gets some as well when trying a save.

Harper FINALLY gets in a shot to Sheamus’ back due to the distraction and we take a break. Back with Harper in control and standing on Sheamus’ head. We hit the chinlock as Bray is looking much calmer now. The goat mask hanging from the back of the rocking chair is a creepy image. Sheamus gets back up and hits a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to give himself a breather.

They slug it out and Harper hits a modified Boss Man Slam for two. Harper misses a middle rope splash and gets caught in the rolling senton for two. The Brogue Kick misses and the discus lariat gets two for Harper. Sheamus sends Luke into Erick and hits White Noise followed by the Brogue Kick for the pin at 9:45 shown of 12:15.

Rating: C-. Basic power brawl here and a way to make Harper look good. That’s the cool thing about bringing someone like Sheamus in for a set of TV tapings: you can run a short term story like this but it takes so long to air the whole thing that you forget it was taped in one night. Decent match here.

Overall, Sheamus remains one of if not my favorite wrestler in WWE at the moment. The guy isn’t complex and there’s nothing about him that others haven’t done before, but you can see the talent there. I remember once being asked who would be the Expendables if I had to pick from an all time WWE roster. Sheamus would automatically be on the list because sometimes you just need someone to kick a guy in the face. Even watching these old shows from Ireland you can see the star there. The guy has dominated everywhere he’s been and will be a big deal in WWE for a long time to come.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Since the Royal Rumble extra thoughts post went over so well I figured I’d try it again with Raw. I won’t be making this a regular thing unless there’s a big show where a lot of stuff happens. Let’s get to it.

The opening promo was absolutely awesome and did several things that it needed to accomplish. First and foremost, it caused the Authority to to act like heels for the first time in a long time. For many weeks now they’ve been the smug semi-faces that played to the crowd and acted like they were doing something to please the fans. HHH and Stephanie came off like total villains last night and it’s exactly what they were supposed to be doing.

On top of that, the promo advanced several feuds at the same time. It gave Sheamus something to do as soon as he gets back, it puts Cena in the Chamber to keep him in the title scene while keeping him directly away from Orton, and it gives Bryan the shot at the title that the people have been wanting him to have all along. It also keeps Shield front and center which is never a bad thing.

I’m going to lump all of the matches save for the main event into one big pile. Last night’s wrestling really didn’t do much for me and a lot of that is due to the amount of rematches we had. Usos vs. Ryback/Axel again, Kofi vs. Del Rio in their monthly meeting and Truth vs. Fandango because they’re both dancers. No the matches don’t happen every week like some of the feuds we get, but they happen often enough that we don’t need to see them for a long time.

It’s a big problem in WWE that needs to be addressed. With as deep of a roster as WWE has, there’s no excuse to not have a fresh match every few weeks. It’s ok to mix things up a bit instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again, even though it’s all WWE seems they’re capable of doing anymore.

That brings us to the big segment in the middle of the show with Orton, Batista and Brock Lesnar. The key thing here is the amount of doors this segment opened. It’s possible that we could be seeing Batista vs. Brock at the Elimination Chamber for the Mania title shot, or that Brock could enter into the Chamber, or that we could wind up with a three way out of all this (erg). The best thing though is that it could be one of several ideas and I’m not sure which one. That’s always a great feeling and it’s what I got last night.

However, the one option I don’t care to see is Batista vs. Del Rio at the Chamber. No matter how many midcarders Del Rio beats up, he’s a jobber at the main event level and has been for years now. Batista may not be the hottest thing in the world, but he’s more interesting than Del Rio. No one is going to buy that Del Rio is going to make Batista tap or pin him after the superkick. It would be a filler match with what sounds like very uninteresting chemistry.

The Tag Title match was nothing special but the Outlaws showed they’ve still got it. They were playing the same characters they did before, but somehow they haven’t aged in the fifteen years they’ve been gone. I don’t see them being long term champions and would love to see the Usos take the belts off of them, but there’s just not much to them in the ring. To be fair though, there wasn’t when they were in their prime either.

Brock interfering keeps things open but I was surprised that there was nothing to follow it up later in the show. I was expecting the Authority to come out and address Brock but the less interaction I see between HHH and Brock Lesnar, the better my experience watching Raw goes. Lesnar continues to be terrifying, which is in part due to him throwing chairs everywhere. He needs to watch it with that.

The main event was absolutely awesome with both teams looking great. Sheamus is certainly back and in the same shape he was in before his injury. That’s a good sign as so many people leave and then come back with a totally different look and physique that takes six months to get back to normal. As for the match, Bryan vs. Rollins stole the show as Seth continues to be the workhorse of the team. Reigns is starting to get his signature moveset together as you can see the big push coming.

The ending was perfect as neither team deserved to job, Reigns got to break the STF, and we set up a future match. Yeah lost in all this was the future Wyatts vs. Shield match which people have been drooling over for months now. The Shield isn’t going to be around much longer and this is the one big match that people have been wanting to see for a long time. It’ll be a nice addition to the Chamber, unless Bray and/or Reigns are added to the Chamber itself and the six man is at Wrestlemania.

A few other notes about the show:

Jake Roberts is a great choice for the Hall of Fame. He worked very hard to get his life back in order and deserves the honor for the DDT alone. This might be the better idea than putting him in the Rumble where he might have injured himself falling out of the ring.

A lot of people were missing from last night’s show, including Punk, Langston and Rusev. I kept thinking Punk wasn’t looking right during the Rumble so maybe he’s banged up after all the wear and tear he’s built up over the last few months. Langston might have needed a week off after the Rumble as well, given that it wasn’t his night. I hope Rusev appears more than just once in the Rumble as the guy has potential.

Oh and Christian is back on Friday. Uh….yay.

Overall it wasn’t a great show but it did what it was supposed to do. The wrestling wasn’t great but it was able to get us through the night until we hit the awesome main event. More than anything else though it set things up on the Road to Wrestlemania and calmed the fans down after they were on the verge of rioting at the Rumble. The crowd wasn’t a very big deal last night but that’s a good thing at the moment. Good but not great show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 27, 2014
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after the Royal Rumble and the big question is what happens to Daniel Bryan. The fans hijacked the show last night in their support of Bryan but it seems that he doesn’t have anything to do at the moment. Batista won the Royal Rumble for the shot at the WWE Title at Wrestlemania, but a lot of people can’t see that being the final match at the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Authority to open Raw because that’s how WWE works nowadays. On the way to the ring we get some stills of Lesnar mauling Big Show last night. Stephanie starts her schtick and the audience immediately cuts her off with a YES. Stephanie: “Yes, yes it was one of the most satisfying Royal Rumbles in history.” HHH mocks the fans for not getting what they want and talks about how awesome last night was, including bragging about Batista’s win. Stephanie mentions one more stop at the Elimination Chamber where Orton will defend the title inside the Chamber…..AND HERE HE COMES!

Daniel Bryan comes out and starts the YES chant but asks the fans to calm down for a second because the Authority doesn’t care for it. Things calm down a bit before Bryan talks about what a great match he had last night. HHH calls it a good little effort and Stephanie agrees. This takes Bryan to the biggest disappointment last night, which of course was him not being in the Rumble. There’s a YES Movement going on and even though Bryan asked the Authority to be in the Rumble, all he got was a NO.

Stephanie says Bryan has been through a lot lately and didn’t want him to be in jeopardy. Bryan brings up all of the handicap matches against Shield and the Wyatts and all the handicap matches, but HHH says that’s why they didn’t want to do it again. Daniel accuses them of being out to get him instead of doing what’s best for business so Stephanie says Bryan is being selfish. “Do you think these people are only here to see you?” Fans: “YES! YES! YES!”

Bryan polls the audience about various people they might be here to see but Bryan seems to be the popular choice. Stephanie can’t make out what they’re saying so Bryan cuts to the chase: he wants in the Elimination Chamber and threatens HHH with violence if he doesn’t get what he wants. HHH says that sounds good but Bryan has company and here’s the Shield. Daniel immediately grabs a chair but the numbers take him down. Sheamus tries to make a save but gets taken down as well, leading to Cena making the save. I’d bet on a six man for later.

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. Real Americans

The six man is set for later tonight and the winning team all qualifies for the Chamber. As for the four man tag, I’m surprised it took them this long to get to this match. Mysterio, dressed like the Flash here, sends Cesaro down with a flying mare before it’s off to Cara who is in gold tights with red boots. Swagger is sent to the floor and into the announce table off a dive where Colter yells in his face. Colter says he’s not listening and slaps Swagger in the face. Jack goes back in and runs Cara over as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro elbowing Cara in the face as we look at Swagger being aggressive during the break. Cara comes back with a spinning DDT to Jack and backdrops Swagger to the floor before getting two off a victory roll to Cesaro. Antonio comes back with a powerslam for two and it’s back to Swagger who misses the Vader Bomb.

Cesaro isn’t sure what to do because Cara isn’t there for the double stomp, allowing Cara to make a hot tag to Rey. Things speed up with a top rope seated senton and the sitout bulldog for two on Cesaro. Everything breaks down and Rey sends Swagger to the floor, only to have Cara dive into the European uppercut followed by the Neutralizer for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C-. The idea of pushing the Real Americans is fine but I have zero confidence in the company to follow through on it. Besides, it’s not like anything is going to matter if the teams wind up chasing their tails all over again, which has been the case for months now. The match was fairly sloppy too, but that’s to be expected with high flying.

Here’s Bad News Barrett on his podium with the gavel. He has some BAD NEWS for the viewing audience: tonight we have to watch Dolph Ziggler vs. the Miz in the Battle of Cleveland. This is a problem as Cleveland is full of nothing but losers.

Video on the Monday Night War series on the WWE Network.

Fandango vs. R-Truth

Xavier Woods is on commentary and complaining about not being in the Rumble. Emma is dancing in the crowd again as Truth takes over with a shot to the back and a jumping shot to the head. Fandango rolls to the floor for a breather but Truth quickly follows, only to get distracted by Summer (no shame in that), allowing Fandango to run him over. Back in and Fandango grabs a chinlock for a few seconds before Truth comes back with some clotheslines. The suplex into a Stunner gets two and Little Jimmy connects for the pin at 3:32.

Rating: D-. This was pretty awful for the most part and came off as nothing but filler. It wasn’t a long match or anything so it wasn’t that much torture to sit through, but I’m getting sick of these matches of guys with dancing gimmicks. I have no idea what the appeal is supposed to be of having guys with the same style working together but it’s a trope of wrestling.

Here’s Brad Maddox to introduce Randy Orton for his big speech. Orton says the champ is here and doesn’t care that people are calling it a hollow victory. Then he got to work this morning and found out he has to defend the title inside the Elimination Chamber. He asks Brad whose idea this was because he’s the face of the WWE, but here’s Batista to argue. Batista congratulates him for the win, but reminds Randy that he’s back to win the title at Wrestlemania.

Batista doesn’t care who he faces at Wrestlemania (including Bryan) because his goal is to be WWE Champion. On April 6, he doesn’t care who likes it because he’s walking out of Wrestlemania WWE Champion and nothing can change that. This brings out Brock Lesnar with something to say. Heyman introduces himself to Maddox and says that Brock’s patience is running thin. Tonight the Authority has two choices: have Orton defend the title against Lesnar tonight, or put Brock against Batista for the title shot at Wrestlemania. Either pick one, or else. Batista stares down Brock as Orton is ticked off.

The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

It’s the Battle of Cleveland so they’re both in jerseys. Miz has new orange trunks and it’s a feeling out process to start. A headlock gives Miz control but he goes up top, only to dive into a dropkick for two. There’s a sleeper by Dolph as the announcers rip on Cleveland. Miz comes back with an uppercut for two and has to fight off the running DDT. Ziggler breaks up the Realiity Check but gets caught in the Figure Four. He FINALLY makes the rope so Miz goes back to it, only to be rolled up for two, followed by the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:08.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world but neither guy came out of it looking anymore more than average. It wasn’t a bad match, but it shows how much both guys are in need of something to do. They’re both just floating around at this point and it’s getting sad to see them like this.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Usos

The Goldberg chants start up because they’re still a thing. Jey ducks a forearm to start but gets driven into the corner over and over before bringing in Axel for his variety pack of stomping. A dropkick sends Jey into the ropes and Axel celebrates a bit before bringing in Ryback for a delayed vertical suplex. Jey gets in a few right hands but it’s quickly back to Axel for some chops in the corner.

Axel breaks up another hot tag attempt but Jimmy gets in a shot from the apron, allowing for the Twins to make a tag. Jimmy cleans house on Curtis with the referee pulling him out of the corner. The Samoan drop puts Axel down but Ryback comes in off a blind tag. He loads up Shell Shock on Jimmy but Jey superkicks him for the save. Quickly back to Jimmy and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 5:42.

Rating: C-. Another fine but uninspiring match. The Usos continue to look great but they need to win the titles at some point. They’ve been the same team for years now and it never seems to lead anywhere at all. Still though, good enough match here, even though they need to do something better soon.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

New gear for Kofi as well as he’s got long purple tights and white boots, making him look more like the Joker than anything else. Back and forth to start with Del Rio going for his strikes but Kofi coming back with his right hands in the corner. Del Rio kicks him down for two but misses a cahrge to send him outside, allowing Kofi to hit a suicide dive. Alberto comes back by kicking Kofi in the head on the way back in before sending him into the barricade for two.

A lot of standing around ensues but let’s stop for JBL to get a chant and a standing ovation. Alberto yells at him so there’s one for Lawler as well. Kofi is put on top but they both fall to the floor as we take a break. Back with Del Rio in control after kicking Kofi in the head during the break. Kofi fights out of a chinlock with a jawbreaker and gets two off a sunset flip, only to get caught in a wicked German suplex for two.

Kingston comes back with a clothesline and some right hands but Del Rio hits him in the leg. A rollup gets two for Kofi but Del Rio bails to the apron to avoid Trouble in Paradise. The SOS gets two and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Alberto gets the same. Another Trouble in Paradise attempt misses and Del Rio hits the Backstabber for two. Alberto gets crotched on the top but comes back with something resembling a double stomp to the chest from the top. The low superkick is good for the pin on Kofi at 13:37.

Rating: C+. The match was good but I have no desire to see these two fight anymore. Unfortunately I have a bad feeling there’s going to be another two matches between the two on Smackdown and then Raw next week so they can have a rubber match. It’s not like WWE has any other fresh ideas for us.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

The Outlaws are defending after winning the titles in a big surprise last night. Road Dogg actually quotes Selena Gomez before doing the full entrance, which is a full face version. Before the match, Roadie talks about becoming champions because they’re the best at what they do. This might hurt, but the Brothers just weren’t good enough last night. Cody and Goldust knock them to the floor before the bell and the Outlaws think they shouldn’t have to defend.

Gunn tells Goldust (not wearing gloves which is a weird look for him) to suck it to start, earning himself a clothesline and armdrag. Billy rolls to the floor where Road Dogg cools him down with JBL’s hat. Back in and Goldust chases Roadie into the corner where Dogg shouts about what’s going on here. Off to Cody who grabs a headlock on Dogg before loading up the moonsault press, sending Dogg to the floor for a breather.

Back in again and Cody puts on an armbar before it’s off to Goldust for the same. Billy comes back in and kicks Goldust’s head off as we go to a break. We come back with Goldust powerslamming Billy to put both guys down. Road Dogg comes in again but gets caught in a quick sunset bomb out of the corner for two, cutting his head open a bit as well. The hot tag brings in Cody who cleans house but misses the Disaster Kick, allowing Billy to clothesline him down for two. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar comes in to lay out Cody and Goldust for the DQ at 12:00.

Rating: C-. The first part of the match was more strange than good with the Outlaws trying to hide instead of have the match. That’s fine for a story, but it was still very awkward, which seemed to be what they were going for. Not a bad match though and I can’t imagine the Outlaws holding the titles much longer.

Heyman says the Authority have picked Option 3, which is Lesnar has no match tonight. This is what happens when Lesnar doesn’t get what he wants, meaning the Rhodes Brothers get the chair treatment.

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Aksana/Alicia Fox/Tamina Snuka

Aksana and Cameron start with some catty yelling at each other before it’s off to the Bellas for dropkicks to the back. Off to Alicia who gets caught in a facebuster from Nikki but she comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. The fans are silent for most of this. Off to AJ for the only reaction of the match and a chinlock.

A neckbreaker gets two on Nikki and it’s back to Aksana who is basically in a one piece purple swimsuit. Tamina comes in for a hard slam and a chinlock of her own before Nikki finally avoids a charge in the corner and Naomi comes in off the hot tag. Naomi comes in and jumps around a lot with her purple lipstick flying all over the place. The other six girls fight over a triple suplex until Naomi is able to pin AJ after the Rear View at 5:40.

Rating: D. This felt LONG and was the kind of Divas match that gets annoying in a hurry. First and foremost: Naomi looked ridiculous. She had on bright purple and gold with purple lipstick and looked more like she was going out for Halloween than being in a match. The Bellas continue to be the Bellas and everyone else sucked for the most part, leaving this as a very long nearly six minutes.

Video on the history of Wrestlemania show on the WWE Network.

Christian returns on Smackdown.

John Cena/Daniel Bryan/Sheamus vs. Shield

They have a lot of time for this and the winners go to the Chamber. Cena and Ambrose get things going as the dueling Cena chants begin. It’s quickly off to Rollins as Cole starts spouting off Rumble stats. Rollins grabs a quick headlock but Cena fights up and punches Seth in the mouth to take over. There’s the tag to Reigns and you can hear the fans get fired up. We even get a Roman Reigns chant.

Sheamus gets to face Reigns in a power vs. power match and the Irishman takes him down with a neckbreaker for two. Back to Rollins who gets kicked in the back to send him to the apron for the ten forearms. An Ambrose distraction lets Rollins take over on Sheamus before Dean comes in to stomp away legally. Shemaus comes right back with power to drag Dean into the corner for the tag off to Bryan. Daniel starts cleaning house with the kicks and a hurricanrana off the top gets two.

There’s the surfboard to pop the crowd a bit more before it’s back to Cena who charges into an elbow for two as we take our last break. Back with Rollins stomping away on Cena before getting two off a Blockbuster. Reigns hits a dropkick from the floor to the side of Cena’s head as it’s draped over the bottom rope to keep John in trouble. The Superman Punch knocks Cena down again and is treated like a signature spot. Cena sidesteps the spear and Reigns falls to the floor where he comes up limping.

It’s not too bad though as Reigns gets right back in and breaks up the tag before making a tag off to Ambrose. Dean stomps away and talks more trash before it’s back to Rollins for a double suplex for two. We hit the chinlock on Cena for a bit before a snap DDT is good for two for Ambrose. Cena hits an AA out of nowhere to set up the hot tag to Bryan, with Cole using the term YES Movement as the latest buzzword. Bryan fires off the kicks and FLYING Goat to Rollins before the YES Kicks are good for two.

Reigns comes back in with the spear to Bryan and Cena (Cena’s hit him in the knees) but Bryan dropkcisk Reigns down. Rollins tries a rollup on Bryan but Daniel is out at two. Bryan flips out of a German suplex but gets caught in a buckle bomb for two. Rollins hits a quick splash in the corner but misses the top rope knee. Bryan hits his own release German suplex but misses a running dropkick in the corner, allowing Seth to roll him up but Bryan counters into the YES Lock, only to have Ambrose make the save. There’s a Brogue Kick for Dean but Rollins takes Sheamus down with the knee to the head.

Bryan avoids another splash and a double crossbody puts both guys down again. Cena is up on the apron again and it’s hot tag to John and Reigns. Roman is quickly caught in the STF but he BREAKS CENA’S GRIP….as the Wyatts interrupt things. They show up on Cena and that’s a DQ to send Cena/Bryan/Sheamus to the Chamber at 24:00.

Rating: A-. Great six man here with everyone looking good and that Rollins vs. Bryan segment stealing the show. There was no way they couldn’t put Bryan in the Chamber after last night and it was either here or in one of the last two spots. This was great booking as everyone gets to look good and a lot of stories are advanced. Really good stuff here and the results they needed.

Shield throws a fit to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. It was a good show for the most part as things calmed down a lot. The crowd was nowhere near as big of a factor and that helped the show. Brock wanting in on the title scene heading into Elimination Chamber makes things very interesting as I could see Brock vs. Batista for the title shot at the PPV, which leaves a lot of doors open. I wouldn’t call tonight damage control, but they showed us that there are ways around the predicaments they’ve found themselves in. The wrestling tonight wasn’t great but it did what it needed to do to give us a solid show.

Results

Real Americans b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Neutralizer to Cara

R-Truth b. Fandango – Little Jimmy

Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Zig Zag

Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Ryback

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Superkick

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. New Age Outlaws via DQ when Brock Lesnar interfered

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls b. AJ Lee/Aksana/Alicia Fox/Tamina Snuka – Rear View to AJ

Sheamus/Daniel Bryan/John Cena b. Shield via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

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So I’ve had a night to sleep on one of the most controversial shows I’ve ever seen. I didn’t have the chance to go as in depth as I wanted to with some of my thoughts last night because the Rumble is such a fast paced match. Let’s take a closer look the whole show in more of a rapid fire format.

First of all, the New Age Outlaws are the new Tag Team Champions. The more I think about this, the less I care for the idea. Yeah the Outlaws are on a nice reunion tour, but so were the Rhodes Brothers. Cody has the potential to become something important in the future, while the Outlaws are here for nostalgia and not much more. I get the idea of the Authority being corrupt and giving their friends title shots, but it doesn’t come off as cronyism when they won the title match clean.

Moving on to the actual show, the opening match was outstanding. That’s the kind of a win that Bray Wyatt needed because he’s the kind of character that is going to take a big hit when he loses his first big match. The win was good but the fact that it was one of the best openers in company history helped a lot.

Brock Lesnar is a terrifying human being. Seriously, the guy is just a beast and that F5 to Big Show had me screaming at my screen.

That brings us to what I thought was the bigger insult to the wrestlers of the night. John Cena vs. Randy Orton was a good match last night, but the fans treated it horribly. I understand that they wanted Daniel Bryan to be in the title picture, but it was incredibly rude to go off on those two because he wasn’t in there.

The worst part of it all: it was a good match. It’s true that Orton vs. Cena has been done several times and no one wanted to see this rematch, but the fans were chanting BORING less than 20 seconds in. If the mtch is actually boring then chant that, but don’t go off on it from the beginning. The stealing finishers stuff was good and thankfully it calmed the crowd down a bit, even though Orton went nuts several times out there.

One last thing about the match: John Cena continues to be an absolute master at working a crowd. Look back to the show in Portland (somewhere in the northwest at least) right before TLC when the fans chanted for Bryan throughout the Championship Celebration. Cena was smart enough to bring Bryan into his promo. Last night the fans were chanting for Y2J and Cena tried a Liontamer. The crowd immediately calmed down because they knew that someone was listenting to them and that’s all they wanted. It was still a very good match though.

That brings us to the ending of the match and its post match antics. It would seem that Cena’s Wrestlemania program is with the Wyatts and that’s good news all around. If there’s a better way to give Wyatt a big rub, I certainly can’t think of it. This is what the fans have been asking for: getting new stars to the top of the roster. Bray got the biggest win of his career last night and will now have the biggest match of his life ten weeks. It helps that Bray has shown he can have great matches and is more than just a great worker.

Now hopefully it’s just a singles match instead of turning it into a rumored tag match with Cena and Bryan teaming up against the Wyatts. Daniel is at the point where he doesn’t need a rub like that and we don’t want the Cena vs. Wyatt match stolen by fans who want to see something completely different from Bryan.

So that brings us to the big one of the evening and we’ll start from the beginning.

CM Punk was the Rumble’s Iron Man and I don’t think most people noticed. Punk spent a long stretch of the match laying around and waiting to get to the final four before Kane eliminated him in a very quick scene that didn’t have the impact they were hoping for. Kane vs. Punk at Elimination Chamber should be good but it felt like they were rushing to get to that moment last night and it took away from Punk’s Rumble performance. Good, but not memorable night for Punk last night.

The same can be said for Rollins and Ambrose. Both guys were in the Rumble for a long time but neither did anything all that special. The most interesting thing was Dean trying to throw out Reigns, but you could easily write that off by just saying it was trying to win the Rumble. I’d be fine if that’s what they did, but it feels like another seed being planted for the big Reigns face turn.

Alexander Rusev had a good debut and looked like a monster. I wish he had gotten to throw some people out, but having five or so people combine to eliminate him was a nice touch. He’s the kind of guy that would have been headlining house shows against Hogan back in 1986 and his NXT matches have all been good. He’ll be a force if given some time and it looks like his first program is with Kofi, who he’s traded wins with in NXT.

As for Kofi, his running jump back to the apron last night was a nice change of pace from the last few years worth of saves. More often than not they’ve been creative or clever, but this one was all about Kofi showing off how athletic he is. It was awesome looking and that’s all it was supposed to be.

Dolph Ziggler returned. It’s over.

Kevin Nash was a surprise so let’s look at all of the legends/comedy characters at once. It was a lighter year for these guys this time with only a handful of appearances. Nash was Nash, El Torito was there as a comedy segment (for the love of all things good and holy, don’t let this start Horny vs. Chavo II with Torito and Fandango), and then there’s JBL. While it was a fine idea, Cole saying “this is the first time the JBL character has appeared in the Rumble” made me groan. I know kayfabe is dead, but don’t pummel its corpse. Also the lack of Jake Roberts surprised me.

I’ll save Reigns and Batista for later.

Sheamus also returned last night and you can see the same problems that plagued him during his last year: he’s in severe need for a story. At the moment, Sheamus is just a strong guy who kicks people in the head. He hasn’t had the slightest bit of adversity or problems since he was World Heavyweight Champion. That makes for a very uninteresting character and not something that is going to carry Sheamus much further. Give us a reason to care about Sheamus the person, not Sheamus the fighter.

On a more positive note: that’s three straight final threes in the Rumble for Sheamus. Him being successful in the Rumble fits his fighter character really well, just like it did with Austin. Little things like that are when you can tell the writers are actually paying attention and it’s very nice to see.

Miz had a nice showing last night as well. If you let him show some aggression and stop with the stupid Figure Four stuff (that’s been going on for over a year now), there’s still hope for that guy.

Del Rio was just there and thankfully it doesn’t look like he’ll be doing anything of note for awhile.

I watched last year’s Rumble for the redos and it’s astounding how far Ryback has fallen in just a year. He came in at #30 in 2013 and destroyed the world before being in a showdown with Cena. Now he’s a midcard comedy act and little more. There’s still hope for him, but it’s not as a heel.

Big E. Langston was the worst disappointment to me last night. He came in, eliminated no one, and basically did nothing in his entire time in the Rumble. I’m still very high on the guy but he needs to have a good night soon to make up for that. Obviously it’s not all on him, but the Usos had better performances in the Rumble than Langston did.

I feel very sorry for Rey Mysterio. He could have been Santa Claus with a bag full of Corvettes for the crowd and would have been the biggest disappointment of the entire night. Anybody in that spot not named Bryan was going to be booed last night and it’s not Mysterio’s fault at all.

That brings us to the important stuff of the match last night. First off, Roman Reigns is getting the push that people have been expecting him to get for a long time (time for a little bragging: I’ve said he would be the biggest star out of the three since the beginning) and breaking Kane’s record was a big step towards that. Keep in mind that Reigns came in at #15 and Kane came in at #6 when he set the old record and the twelve eliminations last night are even more impressive. More on Reigns later.

Now it’s time to get to the most controversial guy in the Rumble: Big Dave Batista. I think I’m one of the few who sees it this way, but Batista was find as the Rumble winner. Yeah he’s been back for six days, but he was a big deal when he left and it’s not like he pinned someone to win the thing. Batista came back at the wrong time due to the whole Bryan fiasco. If this was any other year, people wouldn’t mind nearly as much. No he’s not in the same shape as he was in before, but give him more than ten minutes in the Rumble to get back to form. Also for people criticizing his spear, he was never good at that move. Why should he be now?

And now, for the Daniel Bryan situation. I don’t think people were saying he had to win or else. It wasn’t that Bryan didn’t win the Rumble, but that he wasn’t even in it. If Bryan was in the Rumble, got down to say the final three or even four before being screwed out of the match, it would have been a FAR better reaction. As a very smart guy named Barbosa said on WrestleZone last night:

“Pardon me and the thousands of others for having some expectation of the hottest act being put in a position to win the Royal Rumble.”

That sums it up as well as anything else could. Bryan didn’t need to win, but he needed to place or show. The crowd knew what they wanted last night and did not care what else they were going to get as a consolation. As I said in the review, I’ve never seen a crowd just turn on a match as fast as they did when Mysterio’s music hit. They did not care to see anyone but Bryan and they made that very clear in a few seconds.

This brings me to the reception the show received. I’ve seen people calling it the worst show the company ever produced and that just makes me laugh. First and foremost, Wyatt vs. Bryan was more than enough to make it an acceptable show. Also listen to the crowd for the entire Rumble up to Mysterio’s music hitting. They’re totally into the match and care about everything going on, but that one moment changes everything. It’s a great show with a bad last fifteen minutes, not a horrible show at all.

Oh and one more thing which unfortunately I can’t take credit for. Picture this:

#30 hits and Daniel Bryan’s music plays.

“I’m afraid I’ve got some BAD NEWS for you all. Daniel Bryan isn’t in the Royal Rumble but BAD NEWS BARRETT IS!”

He would be a made man for years.

So now let’s look at what we should have on tap for Mania.

Punk vs. HHH. Obvious before the Rumble and even more confirmed now.

It would seem that we’re getting Orton vs. Batista, but for the life of me I can’t picture that being the main event or even for the title. I’m not sure what replaces it yet, but if that’s for the title then they’ll be lucky if the fans don’t set the ring on fire.

Cena vs. Bray Wyatt. Should be awesome, though there’s a chance it’ll be Cena/Bryan vs. the Wyatt Family, which doesn’t blow my skirt up.

That leaves us with four men who now need Wrestlemania matches and I think we get the following matches out of it:

Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar and the Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns.

Can you imagine the David vs. Goliath story with Bryan fighting back against Lesnar’s power? Punk made a great match out of it and Bryan can do the same. That would placate the audience well enough in New Orleans I believe.

Roman Reigns is as perfect of a Wrestlemania opponent as you could have for Undertaker. He’s been built up as a record breaker with the Survivor Series (he tied it there but it’s the same idea) and then last night with Kane’s Rumble record, so why not go after the biggest record of them all? Picture Reigns hitting the spear and Undertaker kicking out at the last second or Reigns Superman Punching his way out of the chokeslam. It would be an epic showdown.

Overall it was a very good show but the booking was questionable at best and horrendous at worst. The good thing coming out of it is the number ten, as in how many weeks we have until Wrestlemania. There’s a lot of time to fix the problems shown last night and I have confidence that they’ll fix things instead of letting Wrestlemania be hijacked by the fans. Bryan doesn’t have to be in the title match, but if they put him out there with Cena or against Sheamus, there’s going to be a very big problem that they brought entirely on themselves.

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Royal Rumble 2014
Date: January 26, 2014
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Tonight marks the official start of the Road to Wrestlemania. We’re ten weeks away from the biggest show of the year and barring some surprising changes, the main event will be set in place tonight. The odds on favorite for the Rumble would seem to be Batista, but for the life of me I can’t imagine anyone but Daniel Bryan winning it. He isn’t entered yet, but there are about ten slots left open. Give him a late number and listen to the roof blow off the place. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Cody and Goldust are defending and lost a non-title match to the Outlaws to set this up. Road Dogg starts with Cody and is taken down by a quick shoulder block. Back up and Roadie hits his shaky fist but has to duck the Disaster Kick. Gunn comes in off the tag but is quickly sent to the floor for a top rope clothesline as we take a break. Back with Road Dogg dropping a knee on Goldust for two and putting on a chinlock.

Goldust fights back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Billy breaks up a tag attempt as the announcers brag about how Gunn hasn’t aged a bit since the 90s. For 50 years old the guys is in good shape. Goldust finally makes the hot tag and Cody speeds things up, including a double springboard missile dropkick to put both Outlaws down. Cross Rhodes lays out Road Dogg but Billy saves at two. Billy comes in off a blind tag as Cody hits the Disaster Kick to Roadie, setting up the Fameasser for the pin and the titles at 6:30.

Rating: C. I was surprised here. Not only was this not the result I was expecting, but the match was better than I thought it was going to be. The Brothers had been on one heck of a roll since the fall, but this likely leads into the Authority being corrupt storyline. That doesn’t make sense given that the Outlaws just won the match clean, but I’m assuming that’s the idea.

The opening video focuses on a countdown and how the Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight.

We recap Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt. Daniel joined the Wyatt Family a few weeks ago but only lasted two weeks in the group before turning on Bray in the huge face turn, despite him barely ever being a heel. Tonight is the showdown we’ve been waiting for.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

The Family is with Bray here, despite the idea of the match being that they’re not supposed to be here. Daniel fires off kicks to the leg and takes Bray down with a running knee but Bray gets in a shot of his own to take over. The Wyatts get in a few blows of their own and are ejected, with Bray saying he doesn’t need them to fight this war. Back in and Daniel gets in some kicks to the leg and a high cross body for two, only to be sent to the floor. Bray misses a charge into the steps and injures his knee again, giving Bryan the opening he’s been needing.

Daniel hooks something resembling an Indian Deathlock before stomping Bray’s face into the mat for two. They slug it out on the apron with the fans chanting YES/NO in time. Bray headbutts Daniel to stagger him and wrings his arm down onto the apron to take over. Back in and Bray is in serious mode now. We hit the chinlock but Daniel quickly fights up with forearms, only to be backdropped to the floor.

The annoying fans chant Jerry Lawler as Bray rams Daniel’s head into the post and drives in forearms for good measure. A running senton backsplash has Daniel in even more trouble and Bray asks the fans why they don’t help him. Bray catapults Daniel throat first into the ropes and we hit another chinlock. Wyatt does his spider walk out of the corner and the announcers of course laugh at Linda Blair jokes. He stays on Daniel’s neck with another chinlock but Daniel gets in a shot to the head and shakes the ropes before firing off even more strikes.

A drop toehold sends Bray into the middle buckle and there are the YES Kicks to the chest and leg. Daniel hooks a hurricanrana from the middle rope to send the big man flying but he’s out at two. Now the fans are into it by saying this is awesome and there’s the moonsault in the corner. Daniel loads up the clothesline but thankfully Bray knows what’s coming and hits a running elbow to stop Bryan’s comeback.

Bray misses a charge and falls to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit a running tornado DDT off the apron. Awesome looking move. There’s the running dropkick to knock Bray into the barricade and the missile dropkick puts him down back inside. Now the real YES Kicks have Bray in even more trouble as the fans are going nuts. The big kick to the head gets two and Daniel loads up the running dropkicks in the corner but Bray clotheslines him inside out for a very near fall.

Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two and there’s the YES Lock but Bray bites the hand for the break. Bray’s superplex is countered with headbutts and Daniel hits a top rope splash to crush Wyatt. Daniel loads up the running knee but Bray bails to the floor. Bryan dives at him with the FLYING GOAT but Bray catches him in midair and hits a wicked Sister Abigail into the barricade. Sister Abigail connects for the pin at 21:37.

Rating: A. Well that was awesome. This was a good example of a match where both guys could look great and only one could win. Daniel losing here isn’t a bad thing as he could still come back later and win the Rumble to make up for this. Both guys look better coming out of this and Bray was the one that needed the win more. As soon as he loses, a lot of his mystique is gone. Outstanding match here and something Bray needed.

The expert panel (HBK, Flair, Duggan) are impressed. Shawn seems fine after his fight with Bryan a few weeks ago.

Paul Heyman says Brock wants a title shot and talks about how great Big Show is. It doesn’t matter though as Brock is going to destroy him and then take over the WWE.

We recap Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar. Show doesn’t like Lesnar and is tired of him being a bully so tonight he’s standing up to him. He also stuffed a Lesnar takedown attempt on Raw earlier this week to show how strong he was.

Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

For once this is under regular rules. Brock takes him down before the bell like an MMA fight and just mauls Big Show before blasting him over and over with a chair. More chair shots put Show on the mat as Jerry butchers history, saying Big Show gave Brock his first loss at the 2002 Royal Rumble (it was the 2002 Survivor Series). Show is beaten down even more with chair shot after chair shot. The bell still hasn’t rung.

The referee runs from Brock and Big Show says ring the bell. Brock comes at him with the chair but walks into the KO Punch which knocks Lesnar silly. He rolls to the floor and Big Show throws him around with ease. Back in and Brock ducks another KO Punch and gets caught in the F5. Lesnar WALKS AROUND WITH BIG SHOW ON HIS SHOULDERS and hits the biggest F5 you’ll ever see, making it more like an AA, for the pin at 2:05.

Post match Brock destroys him with even more chair shots, each one louder than the last. He bends two chairs over Show’s back so he goes to get a third and beats on Show’s leg. Show is left in a heap after what was much more of a segment than a match.

The Shield won’t tell each other their numbers. Rollins says the only number that matters is three.

Randy Orton says he’ll beat John Cena tonight and send him to the back of the line. Renee Young mentions Batista, Brock Lesnar and Bray Wyatt wanting title shots. Orton: “Bray Wyatt? He’s a Duck Dynasty reject.” The crowd laughs as Orton says it’s not John Cena’s night.

We get a LONG recap of John Cena vs. Randy Orton. Randy beat him at TLC for the Undisputed Title in a TLC match but tonight it’s one fall with no stipulations. On top of that Orton attacked Cena’s father a few weeks ago on Raw to make it personal.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

We’re ready to go after the big match intros. The fans chant for Daniel Bryan and then that the match is boring. Cena takes him down with a headscissors and the chant shifts to the usual dueling Cena chants. Orton grabs a headlock and suplexes Cena down as the chants go to WE WANT ANGLE and Randy Savage. There’s a Y2J chant…..AND CENA TRIES FOR A LIONTAMER! It shifts the chants to Undertaker as Orton suplexes Cena back inside for two.

The fans think it’s boring as we’re in a chinlock less than five minutes into the match. They head outside with Cena being sent into the steps as the crowd is restless again. Back to the Bryan chant and Orton actually shouts that he’s the champion and not Bryan. A nice DDT puts Cena down for two and the fans think both guys suck. Cena comes back with an electric chair for two and the shoulder blocks followed by the ProtoBomb. Orton counters the Shuffle with the powerslam but Cena comes back with his half nelson slam into a neckbreaker for two of his own.

Cena loads up the top rope Fameasser but first has to block a superplex attempt before connecting for two. Orton throws him to the apron but Cena backdrops him to the floor to counter the Elevated DDT. The crowd has calmed down a bit now. Orton comes right back with the Elevated DDT on the floor and holds a finger to his ear for the crowd. Back inside and the RKO is countered into the STF as the crowd just does not care, probably because they know a title match isn’t ending less than fifteen minutes in.

Randy crawls over to the rope and gets in a shot to the head for a breather on the floor. Back in and Cena grabs another ProtoBomb followed by the Shuffle but Orton grabs the rope to block the AA. The referee gets bumped and there’s the STF, making Randy tap but there’s no referee. Randy hits him in the face with the belt for two as the doctor revives the referee.

The fans think this is awful as an AA gets two for John. An RKO gets the same and the fans still don’t buy that the match is ending yet. Orton poses as the fans say they want Divas. With nothing else to do, Orton puts Cena in the STF but Cena is quickly out and has Orton in a Crossface. That’s countered into a rollup for two and Orton hits an AA (done more like Cena used to do it without going down) for two more.

Cena of course hits an RKO for two of his own before loading up the middle rope AA, only to have Orton get free pretty quickly. A tornado DDT puts Orton down and sets up the STF in the middle of the ring….and cue the Wyatts. Cena chases them off but walks into the RKO for the pin at 20:53. Orton was surprised by the Wyatts being there.

Rating: B. The worst part about the crowd: the match was good. Trading finishers was something new for these guys, which is impressive as they’ve had about a dozen matches on PPV alone. The Wyatts interfering would seem to set up Cena vs. Wyatt at Mania, which is interesting to say the least. Good stuff here, as the show continues to rock.

Cena is destroyed as Orton bails. Bray hits Sister Abigail after shouting BEHOLD THE CREATORS OF THE NEW WORLD.

The New Age Outlaws tell Renee Young to put some more onto their intro. We look at the end of the preshow match and it’s a new record for longest time between title reigns at 14 years. They have two words for Renee: new champs.

We even get old school Rumble promos!

Miz will do whatever it takes to headline Wrestlemania again.

The Usos say only one can win and go to Wrestlemania.

Langston is ready.

Fandango wants to go to the Big Dance.

Batista: “Exactly.”

Sandow says insanity means trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. He won’t make them again.

Ryback says his unlimited energy takes him to Wrestlemania.

Rey Mysterio says he’ll shock the world again.

Back to the expert panel. Shawn picks Shield or Punk. Flair picks Batista. Duggan picks…..Dolph Ziggler?

Royal Rumble

90 second entrants this year and it’s Punk at #1 and Rollins at #2. Punk takes him back into the corner to start but Rollins puts him onto the top, only to be elbowed in the head. Punk comes back with strikes but Rollins just punches him into the face. A kick to Seth’s ribs slows him down but he avoids a big kick to the face and hits a running dropkick. There’s a running forearm in the corner but Punk comes back with the running knee. He calls for the GTS but gets caught by an enziguri. Punk kicks him in the face and both guys are down as Damien Sandow is in at #3.

Sandow goes right for Punk as Rollins gets a breather. Punk gets double teamed but comes back with a neckbreaker to Rollins/DDT to Sandow combo to put both guys down. He tries to throw Rollins out but Sandow breaks it up. Cody Rhodes is in at #4, meaning people from earlier in the night can be in as well. He hits a quick Cross Rhodes on Damien but Seth prevents an elimination. Sandow charges at Punk and is backdropped out to get us back to three.

Rollins gets double teamed but Kane is #5, wrestling in black dress pants. He goes right after Punk and stomps him down in the corner before hitting a nice side slam. Punk blocks the chokeslam with a high kick and throws Kane out with relative ease. Alexander Rusev, a Bulgarian monster from NXT, is in at #6. He immediately starts cleaning house but only throws Cody and Rollins to the apron. Alexander picks up Punk and throws him around with a fallaway slam and it’s Jack Swagger at #7.

Jack charges to the ring and hits a quick Vader Bomb on Rollins and Cody as the ring is filling up a bit. We get a showdown between Rusev and Swagger and the fans chant USA. Rusev takes over with a clothesline and a charge in the corner but Rollins takes Alexander’s leg out and it’s a triple team with everyone not named Punk stomping the Bulgarian. The fans are WAY into this.

Kofi Kingston is in at #8 and you can feel the big save coming. He rolls into the ring and immediately punches Punk down but can’t throw him out. Cody hits the Disaster Kick on Swagger as Kofi goes after Rusev, who he’s been feuding with in NXT. Swagger has Rollins upside down in the corner but can’t get him out. Jimmy Uso is in at #9 and hits a quick Bubba Bomb on Rollins and gets in shots on everyone else. Punk headbutts Jimmy and we get some good old fashioned racial sterotypes as it has no effect.

Goldust is in at #10, giving us a group of Punk, Rollins, Rhodes, Kingston, Rusev, Swagger and Uso. He takes Rollins down with some right hands and hits the kneeling uppercut on Jimmy. Rusev punches the paint off Goldie’s face to stop his momentum and eveyrone gangs up on Alexander again. We need some eliminations here. A big group of about five people get Rusev out in a showing that could have gone longer.

Kofi is knocked to the apron and into Rusev’s arms, so he lays him on the barricade and drives knees into Kingston’s back. Kofi stands up on the barricade and tightropes across before jumping ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE APRON in an incredible athletic display. Ambrose (coming through the entrance) is in at #11. He goes right for Kofi and then Punk as Swagger is in big trouble but gets back inside. Things slow down a bit as Goldust slides back in under the ropes. Dolph Ziggler returns at #12.

Ziggler speeds things up by pounding on everyone but is put on the apron in just a few seconds. The ring is really getting full as we need a monster to clear it out. Instead we get R-Truth at #13 but is double teamed by the two Shield members. They toss him to the apron and Ambrose kicks him out with ease. Jimmy goes up but gets kicked in the head, allowing Ambrose to shove him out as well. Kofi is on the apron but has to block a boot from Swagger. He holds onto it so long that he’s literally hanging in by his feet and pulls Jack’s boot off.

Kevin Nash of all people is in at #14, giving us a group of Punk, Rollins, Nash, Ziggler, Ambrose, Goldust, Swagger, Rhodes and Kingston. Nash puts out Swagger as soon as he gets in but has to deal with Shield. Things slow down again and it’s Roman Reigns in at #15 to put the entire Shield in the match. There’s a spear to Cody and a headbutt to Nash’s chest. Roman catches Trouble in Paradise and throws Kofi out but shrugs off the Zig Zag and hits a GREAT spear on Ziggler for a quick elimination.

Nash is low bridged out by Reigns as well as the ring is rapidly emptying out. Goldust and Cody go after Reigns but Rollins makes a save. Great Khali is in at #16 and Shield is on him as he comes in. The giant shoves all of them down but a Superman Punch knocks him into the ropes, allowing all three of them to put Khali out. Goldust, Punk and Rhodes pair off with the three guys but Cody is sent to the floor, only to be accidentally knocked out by his brother. Reigns dumps Goldust and we’re down to Punk vs. Shield.

Things even up a lot as Sheamus returns at #17. Shield is right on him but the pale one fights them off and gets them all in different corners. There are the ten forearms to Ambrose’s chest with the last one being to the exposed chest. An Irish Curse puts Rollins down and a Brogue Kick knocks Reigns silly. Sheamus stands tall but Reigns is dead weight. Rollins and Ambrose double team Sheamus and it’s Miz at #18, giving us Shield, Punk, Sheamus and Miz.

Everyone pairs off again but they all wind up in one corner. Punk has been down for a long time now but is likely just getting a breather. The clock is going very fast tonight as Fandango is in at #19. Shield swarms Sheamus as Fandango goes after Miz. Punk is still down in the corner. The fans want Daniel Bryan but get El Torito at #20. As in the little guy in the white bull costume.

Naturally he beats up a few guys but Punk gives him a look that channels Miz by saying “really?” Punk grabs him by the head but gets caught in a freaking hurricanrana. Fandango runs him over (JBL: “PETA is going to be mad. I head Mantaur is his grandfather.”) but gets hurricanranaed to the apron and dropkicked out by the bull. Torito dives on Reigns like an idiot though and is LAUNCHED onto Fandango for his sixth elimination. We’re back to Miz, Sheamus and Punk vs. Shield.

Cesaro is in at #21 and picks Miz up for a quick Cesaro Swing. Punk gets one as well but Rollins and Ambrose break it up. Cesaro rams them into each other and swings Rollins until it’s Luke Harper at #22. Reigns spears Cesaro down as things slow again. Rollins and Cesaro slug it out and Jey Uso is in at #23, giving us Shield, Sheamus, Miz, Jey, Punk, Cesaro and Harper. Speaking of Cesaro and Harper, they have a big power slugout with Harper kicking Cesaro’s head off to take over.

JBL of all people is in at #24 to a BIG pop and comes in wearing a full suit and tie. He yells at Cole to come take his coat, allowing Reigns to throw him out with ease. That’s #7 for Reigns. Erick Rowan is in at #25 and teams up with Harper to dump Miz, leaving us Shield, the Wyatt Family, Miz, Punk, Sheamus, Cesaro and Jey Uso. Jey is kicked out by Harper and Shield stares down the Wyatts as Ryback is in at #26. Everyone brawls and Alberto Del Rio is #27.

Nothing much happens until Batista is in for the big cleanup spot at #28. He’s in very short shorts instead of trunks but still looks good. He clotheslines Rowan out and it’s showdown time with Ryback. They slug it out and Cesaro has to dive out of the way of a launched Batista. Ryback is backdropped out by Big Dave but Del Rio clips Batista and kicks him in the head. Batista easily picks Alberto up and tosses him out though, right before Big E. Langston is in at #29.

Langston starts with a nice belly to belly on Batista and a series of backbreakers to Sheamus. The fans start chanting YES as the clock is ticking down. #30 is…….Rey Mysterio, completely letting the air out of the arena. The final group is Punk, Shield, Harper, Sheamus, Cesaro, Mysteiro, Langston and Batista. Rey and Rollins try to eliminate each other but neither go out. Sheamus knocks out Langston to get us down to ten but the fans just do not care now.

Rollins tosses Mysterio to a pop because he’s not who the fans wanted to see. Rollins and Ambrose stomp Sheamus down in the corner and get Harper to the apron but Reigns Superman Punches him out. Ambrose tries to get rid of Reigns but can’t quite do it, triggering an argument. Cesaro goes after both of them so Reigns dumps Cesaro, Rollins and Ambrose, which ties Kane’s record of eleven. His reward is a spinebuster as we’re down to four: Punk, Batista, Sheamus and Reigns.

Make that three as Kane comes in and pulls Punk out before chokeslamming him through the table. The final three are Reigns, Batista and Sheamus who are all down as the fans chant for Mysterio. Everyone slowly gets back up and the fans boo this out of the building. This would be Sheamus’ third straight final three by the way. Batista breaks up a spear to Sheamus as the NO chants begin. Sheamus rewards him with the Regal Roll but Batista ducks the Brogue Kick.

A backdrop puts Sheamus on the apron and Reigns dumps him for the record at 12 eliminations. Batista thinks he dumps Reigns but Roman slides back in as we’re down to two. Roman unzips the vest and stares Batista down as the fans are somewhat into this. They slug it out with Reigns taking over but Batista comes back with a spear. The fans are COMPLETELY behind Reigns here as he spears Batista right back. He’s all fired up….but Batista easily throws him out for the win at 55:10, letting the air out of the arena again.

Rating: B. It was a really good Rumble, but man alive if that crowd reaction doesn’t change something, nothing is going to. I’ve been watching wrestling my entire life and I have never ever heard a crowd just go silent like they did when Mysterio came out. I mean they just DIED. Batista was destined to win this thing, even though he was the completely wrong pick. Reigns looks like a STAR here but needed the win to cement it. Batista just was not the right pick here, but you knew it was coming the entire time.

The fans are not pleased as a lot of fireworks go off to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Very ticked off crowd to say the least, this was an outstanding show. Everything was either good to excellent with only the world title match being a step below the rest. Raw tomorrow night is going to be VERY interesting as they’re either going to change a lot of stuff or have the worst crowd reaction to a Wrestlemania of all time. I had an awesome night with this show, but Batista should not have gotten that win, period.

I’ll have more in depth thoughts and analysis on the Rumble tomorrow after it’s had a better chance to process.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Daniel Bryan – Sister Abigail

Brock Lesnar b. Big Show – F5

Randy Orton b. John Cena – RKO

Batista won the Royal Rumble, last eliminating Roman Reigns

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As inspired by a line from Jesse Ventura at Wrestlemania V.The idea is very simple: a show is usually better when there is one match that is the definitive main event and the big draw of the show.  Look at some of the Wrestlemanias with a clear main event:

#1 – Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

#3 – Hogan vs. Andre

#6 – Hogan vs. Warrior

#14 – Austin vs. Michaels

#17 – Austin vs. Rock II

#20 – HHH vs. HBK vs. Benoit

#26 – Michaels vs. Undertaker II

#28 – Rock vs. Cena

There are other shows with a definitive main event, but how much bigger do most of those shows feel as a result?  For the opposite, look at some of the Wrestlemanias where there was a double main event or a show where the main event wasn’t built as THE reason to see the show.

#2 – Hogan vs. Bundy

#4 – Tournament

#8 – Hogan vs. Sid/Savage vs. Flair

#9 – Hart vs. Yokozuna/Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

#11 – Diesel vs HBK/Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

#13 – Bret vs. Austin/Undertaker vs. Sid

#21 – Batista vs. HHH/JBL vs. Cena

#23 – Cena vs. HBK/Lashley vs. Umaga

#24 – Undertaker vs. Edge/Orton vs. HHH vs. Cena

While these shows were good, they didn’t have the big match feel and it holds them back.  That’s what holds me back on Wrestlemania 19: there were four matches that you could call the real main event of the show.  The idea of a double main event may sound good, but it doesn’t hold up most of the time when you look back at them.

After Smackdown last night I’m actually excited for the show.

As always we’ll start with the pre-show match.  I can’t imagine they’ll take the belts off the Rhodes Brothers and give them to the Outlaws, especially not on a pre-show.  The Brothers have been on fire as of late and come off like main event players, so the belts stay with them.  The Outlaws have been impressive though as they’re basically at the same level they were on fifteen years ago.

Lesnar over Big Show.  There’s a chance they’ll do a double DQ, but Big Show doesn’t get hurt by losing as he’ll get at least two world title shots on PPV this year.

Orton keeps the title in a match I think people forget exists.  The booking of this feud has been completely backwards with the title match being booked and then making it personal and the gimmick match leading off the feud.  I don’t believe for a second that there won’t be interference of some sort and Orton keeps the title.  I have very little desire to see this match.

I have a feeling we get a no contest/unclean ending to Bray vs. Bryan.  THe Wyatts losing kills most of the mystique but Bryan is so hot right now that you can’t have him lose at a big PPV.  I think they drag this out to another show which isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Now for the real main event with the Rumble itself.  Until #30 enters and it’s not Bryan, I’ll take Daniel Bryan as the favorite to win.  He’s the hottest thing in years and there are only twenty entrants accounted for so far.  Yeah there are a lot of rumors out there about what might be coming for him at Wrestlemania but I’ll believe the card when it’s announced on Raw.  If Bryan isn’t in there, this is going to Batista, which it likely is anyway.  Punk will make a good run but Kane will screw him over, setting up Punk vs. Kane at Elimination Chamber which sets up Punk vs. HHH at Wrestlemania.

If AJ vs. Naomi is added, the champion keeps the title.

Overall the show definitely has me interested because the Rumble is a match that can go several ways.  Yeah Batista is the big favorite at this point, but there are other options to winning it.  The other matches should be fun though I have less of a desire to see them.  The good thing about the RUmble is that a third of the show is spent on one match, so the entire show hinges on that alone.

Thoughts/predictions?

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Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 16,697
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We’re getting close to the end of the run here with only three shows left. Tonight we’ve got the Rumble of course along with Undertaker defending against Mysterio and Sheamus defending against Orton. I remember really liking this one as the new generation had arrived and was rising up the card. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the Road to Wrestlemania is beginning and how it determines what happens for months to come. This is called the most star studded Rumble ever, which is a tagline that has been used before.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Christian is defending and man that ECW ring announcer has an annoying voice. Regal is with Jackson here. According to Striker, Jackson went to Columbia Law School. Now there’s a factoid that fell through the cracks. Jackson shoves Christian into the corner and then does it again into the ropes so the champion slaps him in the face. After a brief chase, Christian dropkicks Jackson out to the floor.

The springboard plancha takes Jackson out and we head back in. Christian finally gets caught in the corner and pounded on before having the Killswitch easily blocked. Instead Christian chokes away on the ropes and hits another shot to the face. Jackson throws Christian to the floor where Regal tries to throw him back in, earning himself an ejection. Off to a neck crank back inside which Jackson picks up into a kind of cobra clutch slam for two.

A vertical suplex gets two for Big Zeke and it’s time for more choking. A sunset flip is easily blocked by Jackson and it’s back to the chinlock. Striker tries to figure out what a peep is, as he knows it as a something made of chocolate. Some shots to the face get Christian out of trouble for awhile, or at least until a clothesline to the back of the head gets two.

Jackson hooks both of Christian’s arms back for another hold before putting the champion on top. The superplex is blocked and Christian hits a top rope back elbow for two (LOVE that move). Jackson’s big clothesline misses and a middle rope dropkick gets two for the champion. A spinwheel kick gets two on Jackson but a swan dive misses and gives Zeke a near fall as does a backbreaker.

The tornado DDT gets ANOTHER two for Christian so Jackson takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to a sleeper from Christian when the Killswitch doesn’t work but Jackson counters into a powerslam position to ram Christian’s back into the buckle. Christian slides down Jackson’s back and grabs the Killswitch out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. Trim two minutes out of this and it goes WAY up in quality. The period of near falls went on too long without getting any significant heat from the crowd. Jackson would get the title in a little over two weeks on the final episode of ECW because if there’s one man that should be the final ECW Champion, it’s a musclehead that could barely get through a five minute match most of the time.

Cryme Tyme come in to try to get a second spot in the Rumble from Teddy and Tiffany. Khali says “no dice homeslice” to selling their spot because he’s keeping it real. Apparently he’s learned his English from Family Matters (Singh’s words, not mine). Ok then. Anyway US Champion the Miz comes in and laughs which causes him to have to defend against MVP.

Orton is in the back when Cody Rhodes comes in. He’s there for Randy in the title match tonight but that’s not all. Apparently DiBiase isn’t in on this because his mind is on winning the Rumble and taking the title from Orton.

US Title: The Miz vs. MVP

A quick clothesline gets two for MVP and he works on the champ’s ribs to start. Miz gets a boot up in the corner to slow him down but MVP comes right back with a belly to back suplex for two. They head to the floor for this gem from Striker: “Miz is one of the most recognizable faces on this planet.” I don’t think Miz is one of the most recognizable faces in this match.

Back in and Miz sends MVP to the apron and gets kicked into the table on the floor. Not that this is treated like anything of note because the announcers are laughing about Sherri Shepard from The View. Miz sends shoulders into MVP’s ribs in the corner followed by the running corner clothesline. A top rope double ax gets two for Miz and we hit the chinlock.

After that eats up some time, MVP pounds away with all of his usual stuff. Ballin hits and a running boot to the side of the head gets two for the challenger. A big shoulder block gets the same for MVP but he misses a running boot in the corner. MVP grabs three straight quick near falls but gets caught in a small package for the pin to keep the title on Miz.

Rating: D+. If there was a reason for this to be on PPV other than the show was running short, I don’t know what it was. Miz didn’t look like anything special out there but somehow he would be world champion a year later. MVP on the other hand would be out of the WWE but he did well enough in Japan. Nothing to see here other than a filler match.

Post match MVP hits the Playmaker on Miz and gets booed LOUDLY. He lost completely clean so the booing is deserved.

Show and Jericho, the former tag team champions, run into each other. Show accuses him of being jealous of the chemistry Show and Miz have but Jericho brushes it off. He calls the crowd gelatinous worms before pointing out all of the similarities he and Miz have. Show says he’ll throw both Miz and Jericho out to win the Rumble. R-Truth pops up and says he’ll do the same. Show leaves Jericho standing there much to Jericho’s chagrin.

DiBiase wishes Orton luck and says he’s got Randy’s back. Orton asks where Cody is but DiBiase doesn’t know. This was during the time when Legacy was about to die and both members were trying to get on Randy’s best side. DiBiase claims that Rhodes only wants to win the Rumble but Orton has heard enough. He doesn’t want anyone’s help and gets a clear face pop in response.

The National Guard is here.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Sheamus won the title in a shocker last month at TLC and is heel here. He’s also still not that good and wouldn’t really hit his stride for about a year and a half. They stare at each other to start and my goodness is Sheamus pale. A dropkick puts the champion down but he comes right back with a running ax handle. Sheamus gets in a shot to the arm and we head to the floor where said arm is sent into the steps.

Back in and Orton goes for the knee and things slow down a bit. Orton wouldn’t really pick up the pace of his offense until about the following year which made his matches pretty hard to sit through. Sheamus comes back by sending Orton’s shoulder into the post twice and hitting some shoulder blocks in the corner. That gets him nowhere though as Orton takes out the knee again and knocks Sheamus to the floor.

They head inside again and yet AGAIN momentum shifts back to Sheamus as he hits a DDT on the arm for two. Off to an armbar for a bit before they slug it out to the boo/yay chants. Orton wins the slugout but walks into the Irish Curse for two. The High Cross is escaped and Orton kicks Sheamus in the head to send him to the outside. Orton gets ready for the RKO but Rhodes jumps the guardrail and blasts Sheamus in the back before running away. The referee sees it though and despite Orton hitting the RKO, he’s disqualified and Sheamus keeps the title. Lame ending to a pretty lame match.

Rating: D+. Like I said, Sheamus just wasn’t very good yet. He was still this big imposing brawler who pounded on people and that’s about it. There was indeed a story in the match but it wasn’t a very entertaining one as they just kept beating on each other’s limbs but when there’s no difference because of the beating, the story doesn’t work. The ending didn’t help either but it did set up something in the future.

Post match Orton snaps on Cody as DiBiase comes down to save his partner. While Orton yells at Cody in the corner, Sheamus comes back in and lays out Randy with a Brogue Kick.

We recap Mickie vs. McCool. This was an awkward feud as Mickie won the title shot in a triple threat and then Laycool made fun of Mickie for being fat. This is of course odd as Mickie is a professional athlete and gorgeous and would only be called fat by a crazy person. It’s also pretty disturbing when you consider how WWE pushes the Divas as role models. The final bit of it was a segment where Mickie got beaten down and covered in food.

Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.

Post match the other Divas bring out a cake and smash it into Laycool’s faces.

We recap Mysterio vs. Undertaker. Rey won the shot by slamming a cage door onto Batista’s head to escape because that’s what heroes do. Taker said he’ll show no mercy on Mysterio so Rey uses the same line everyone does on Taker: he isn’t afraid. Batista beat up Mysterio as well, claiming that Undertaker and the world title was his.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker

Mysterio, in the deep south, comes out wearing a white hood. Striker talks about Lawler being in the ring with Kamala and Lord Humongous (Sid) because he thinks it makes him sound interesting. He’s trying to make a comparison to being in the ring with Undertaker, but if he was as smart as he thinks he is, he would ask Jerry what it’s like to be in the ring with Undertaker himself, which would save a lot of headaches.

Rey fires off some shots in the corner before Taker grabs him by the neck and throws him up and over the top and out to the floor. That looked awesome. Back to the apron and Rey fires off strikes to the face, only to get punched right back down to the floor by a single shot. Taker misses the legdrop on the apron but hits it the second time before heading back in. Rey counters a chokeslam into the 619 but Taker easily grabs the legs. Tombstone is countered and Taker misses an elbow drop.

Rey tries a springboard cross body but jumps into a boot to the chest. We head to the floor again and there’s another big boot to the head to take Rey down. A third big boot keeps Rey down but the fourth misses and Taker sends his leg around the post. Rey hits a baseball slide to send the leg into said post and Taker is in trouble. The seated senton off the apron is caught and Taker puts him back on the apron, only to be caught by an Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.

Taker grabs Rey by the throat and slams him into the barricade. The champion’s nose is busted a bit. Taker does that lifting wristlock of his to crank on the arm a bit before punching Rey down in the corner for a bit. A big side slam gets two for the guy who would use a side slam in this match as Striker goes into this big speech about how the blood shows that undertaker is mortal. Seriously, it’s a BLOODY NOSE. Watch the freaking Lesnar match in the Cell when the blood is literally dripping from Taker’s head and down onto Lesnar’s body.

Rey starts firing off some punches but a single shot from Taker is enough to put him back down. A jawbreaker finally staggers the big man and they do a kind of cross body, although Taker counters into something like Langston’s Big Ending, so it’s hard to say which hurt worse. Taker sits up so Rey kicks him in the face. Why has no one done that before? Rey drops the dime (springboard legdrop) for two but Taker kills him with a big clothesline. The Last Ride is countered and the 619 hits as does a second one, but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Last Ride to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff for the most part for a few reasons. First of all, they didn’t make Taker look ridiculous to get into position for Rey’s moves. That’s my biggest issue with most of Rey’s battles against giants: how stupid the big men look. The other good thing here is that Taker wasn’t knocked silly after just a few moves. Rey only hit maybe a dozen offensive moves here other than basic strikes and it wouldn’t have made sense to have Taker in major trouble. Finally, Rey can bump like crazy when he’s trying to. The only issues here are the lack of a threat to Taker and Striker’s commentary. Chill out already man.

Shawn is watching in the back when Kane comes in and says Shawn’s obsession with Taker is unhealthy. This is KANE calling something unhealthy. He warns Shawn to cool it with Taker because it won’t end well. Kane leaves and HHH comes in. Shawn apologizes for whatever happened on Raw which apparently isn’t important enough to specify. HHH agrees Shawn vs. Taker is meant to be, but it won’t be by wining the Rumble.

Rumble by the Numbers time:

23 Winners

627 entrants eliminated

36 eliminations by Austin

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001

2002 was the last Rumble in Atlanta

62:12 Rey was in the Rumble in 2006

2 seconds was the record for 20 years until Santino broke it last year

3 wins for Austin

2 win for #1, the same as #30

70% of the winners win at Mania

Royal Rumble

Dolph Ziggler is #1 and Evan Bourne is #2. Bourne snaps off a headscissors to start and follows up with a spinwheel kick to take Dolph down. Ziggler comes back with the Zig Zag but can’t throw Evan out. Bourne decks Ziggler and hits Air Bourne as CM Punk of the Straightedge Society is #3. He slams the other two guys’ heads together and dumps them out one after the other. Punk gets a mic and says that tonight is the greatest night in the history of the Straightedge Society. These two are just the first of 29 men who will challenge him, but they can be saved.

The clock starts running down, so Punk gives us the line of the night: “Excuse me, it’s clobberin time.” JTG is #4 and after a few clotheslines, he poses like an idiot in the corner and gets dumped. Punk gets the mic again and says that not everyone can be saved because they don’t have his dedication. Great Khali is #5 and Punk immediately says he can make Khali greater by saving him. He asks Khali to raise his hand for the Straightedge Pledge but Khali lowers the hand onto Punk’s head for the chop.

There’s the Khali Vice and in less than 90 seconds, Beth Phoenix of all people is #6. She stares down Khali and gets picked up and placed on the apron. Beth kisses Khali but in the process pulls him over the top to eliminate him. Phoenix gets back in and BEATS UP PUNK, only to get caught in a GTS to the chest. Would that really knock her out? Before she’s dumped out, here’s Zack Ryder at #7.

As Ryder gets in, Punk grabs the mic and says Zack has potential. PREACH IT BROTHER! Punk starts offering him a spot but his Ryder with the mic before he gets done with it. The fans are going nuts for Punk now and there goes Ryder. Punk talks about how great he is and wants to know who is next, but whoever it is, they’re inferior to Punk. In at #8 is HHH as we enter the second segment of the Rumble.

They stare each other down and HHH starts punching. The facebuster has Punk staggered and a spinebuster puts him down as Drew McIntyre is #9. That gives us a tag champion in HHH and the IC Champion in Drew at the moment. HHH is looking a bit flabby here. He hits the high knee on McIntyre and escapes the GTS to eliminate Punk. DiBiase is #10 as we’re flying through this.

HHH gets double teamed down in the corner until John Morrison, the guy that lost the title to McIntyre, is #11. He takes both heels down and pounds away on them before hitting a jumping DDT on Drew. Starship Pain almost completely misses Drew and HHH clotheslines John down. Kane is #12 and comes in with the top rope clothesline to HHH. There’s a double chokeslam to McIntyre and Morrison before Kane tries to dump DiBiase.

Rhodes is #13 and saves Ted as he comes in. Morrison is sent to the apron and springboards back in, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Legacy goes after Kane but HHH saves him for no apparent reason. Cody saves himself from being eliminated and MVP is #14. Miz runs up behind him though and blasts MVP with the US Title. Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive on McIntyre to break up the Future Shock on Kane. HHH is in trouble in the corner and MVP is carried to the back.

Carlito is #15 and the ring is starting to get full. There’s a Backstabber to HHH and one for Drew and Ted as well. Miz is #16 and hits a quick Finale on Carlito. Cue MVP to clothesline Miz out and eliminate himself in the process. Matt Hardy is #17 and lasts about 20 seconds before Kane puts him out. HHH immediately dumps Kane too and the ring is a lot more empty all of a sudden.

HHH starts laying out everyone and Shawn is #18. Carlito is backdropped out, Rhodes and DiBiase are tossed, Morrison gets dumped, and DX puts out McIntyre to get us down to DX. Before anything can happen though, Cena is #19 to get us to the final third of the match. Cena cleans house and hits a double Shuffle before getting caught in the Pedigree. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks HHH out to pop the crowd BIG.

Shelton Benjamin in that stupid gold period is #20. He hits Paydirt on both guys but gets dumped by Cena in less than 50 seconds. Yoshi Tatsu is #21 and doesn’t even make it 30 seconds. Big Show is #22 and Cena is shaken. Big Show RUNS down to the ring and house is cleaned. Shawn and Cena try to eliminate each other but Show pulls Shawn back in for some reason. What’s up with that tonight?

Mark Henry is #23 and we get a quick battle of the giant. Who would think those two would have a world title feud a year and a half later and be REALLY popular? Henry slams Show and falls on Cena as he tries an AA. Show spears Henry down and Chris Masters is #24. Masters tries the Masterlock on Show and gets dumped for his efforts. Now Henry goes after Show but Shawn breaks it up for some reason. R-Truth is #25 and actually dumps BOTH big guys. There’s something you wouldn’t expect.

Truth hits a Stroke on Cena and Jack Swagger is #26. All three guys get Vader Bombs and Swagger goes old school with a very slow Oklahoma Stampede. Jack knocks Michaels to the apron but can’t get the elimination. Kingston is #27 and cleans house on Swagger, hitting the Boom Drop and dumping him out with a nice leverage move. Truth puts Kofi on the apron but gets pulled out by a reverse headscissors.

Jericho is #28 but after cleaning about half the house, Cena grabs an AA to put him down. Shawn adds the top rope elbow and tunes up the band but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to take him out. Cena dumps Kofi but walks into a Codebreaker. Everyone is down and EDGE makes his big return at #29. That’s rather brilliant instead of waiting for the big surprise at #30, we get a SWERVE that actually makes sense.

Everyone gets a spear and Jericho is out. Edge is back about six months early and it’s Edge-O-Matics all around. Batista is #30, giving us a final four of Shawn, Cena, Edge and Batista. Not bad at all. It’s power all around but Edge spears him down. Everyone is down now Shawn gets up first and hits the forearm on Cena followed by the nipup.

Shawn slams every American in sight and drops the top rope elbow on Cena. Batista takes one too as Edge is still down in the corner. Sweet Chin Music hits Cena and there’s one for Batista as well. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and Michaels superkicks Edge back in, only to get knocked out by Batista. The crowd gasps HUGE at that and Shawn is about to cry. Shawn gets back in and superkicks the referee to vent some frustration. Shawn FINALLY leaves and Cena escapes the Batista Bomb before dumping Batista out. Edge misses the spear but throws out Cena a second later to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is kind of a hard one to grade. They definitely followed the three act structure which helped a lot and the match was VERY fast paced. I mean, the longest anyone was in there was Cena and he barely broke 20 minutes. The problem with that is it doesn’t give anything time to develop. The main story was Shawn which is fine and he would get to Mania at the end of the day anyway. It’s a really fun Rumble but not one of the best ever.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is very solid and the rest has nothing terrible so we’ll call it a good show overall. Things would get a lot more interesting soon after this with the rise of the Nexus and a very solid Wrestlemania. This was also a time of transition for the company as a lot of the guys in this show would be gone by the end of the year. Anyway good show here and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Miz vs. MVP

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

Dang I liked Sheamus a lot more than I thought I did.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/29/royal-rumble-count-up-2010-one-of-the-best-ever/

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