Monday Night Raw
Date: December 9, 2013
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s Slammy night which usually means we’re in for anything from fun to annoyance, all while using the awards as props. It’s also the go home show for TLC, meaning we’re going to get a lot of Cena and Orton staring at each other while talking about what their belts mean. Also expect a lot of cameos. Let’s get to it.

The opening is like a big time awards show, talking about what will be announced tonight and talking about who will be here.

Jerry Lawler and Booker T are hosting the awards while Cole and JBL handle commentary.

We open with an explanation of how to download the WWE App. Expect to hear that a lot tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Fandango

Bryan is the hometown boy and has a new shirt. Daniel leapfrogs Fandango to start and dropkicks him down but gets kneed in the ribs for two. Fandango suplexes Bryan down, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Bryan pounds him down and hooks the surfboard knee crusher followed by a kick to the chest for two. A sidestep sends Bryan to the floor but Fandango misses a dive, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Bryan hits a running dropkick up against the barricade and we head back inside. Fandango is staggered but manages to catch Bryan coming off the top in a sitout powerbomb for two as we take a break.

Back with Bryan hitting the running clothesline and shaking like the reincarnated Ultimate Warrior. There are the YES Kicks as the Washington crowd goes nuts. The big kick misses so badly that Cole has to acknowledge it but Bryan gets two anyway. Bryan misses the running dropkick in the corner and gets suplexed down for two. Fandango misses the guillotine legdrop but Bryan hits the Swan Dive followed by the running knee to the face for the pin at 9:18.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here with Bryan making Fandango look like a million bucks. That’s what Bryan might be best at and now he has the credibility to give anyone on the roster a rub. Good match here and it’s nice to see Fandango not look like a complete jobber every time he’s out there.

Post match we’ve got Bray on the screen. He doesn’t like Bryan’s unwillingness to comply and the clock is ticking. Bray doesn’t want to watch Bryan suffer because in his world, there are no happy endings or fairy tales. This story ends the same way that it started. Bray needs Bryan to know that he’s going to hurt Bryan bad and prove that Bryan is a monster just like him. In that moment, Bray can take all of Bryan’s pain away, if he’ll join the Family. The lights go out again and the fans chant NO.

Here are Jerry and Booker for our first award of the night. Up first is the Laugh Out Loud Award, presented by the New Age Outlaws, clad in powder blue and neon orange tuxedos, complete with top hats ala Dumb and Dumber. Road Dogg can talk just as fast as he used to. They do some of their schtick but get cut off by a ONE MORE MATCH chant. Billy tries to do the catchphrase but gets cut off.

The nominees are:

Vickie Guerrero being fired and freaking out

Titus O’Neil eating too much and getting sick in JBL’s hat

The Cobra being caught between Jinder Mahal’s and Great Khali’s snake charm flutes

Rock singing about Vickie Guerrero

Apparently we have to wait for the winner to be announced later because voting is still going on.

Back from a break and Rock wins the award. Vickie comes out to take the trophy and say the award represents her beauty.

Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella

Santino starts with his power walk as Langston is on commentary. Sandow stomps Santino down and puts on a quick chinlock. Santino comes back with his hiptoss and the headbutt before loading up the Cobra. Damien legsweeps him down though and You’re Welcome ends this at 2:30.

Langston and Sandow stare each other down post match.

Shield, wearing suits, are here to present Double Cross of the Year. Before the nominees, Shield recommends never double crossing them. Ambrose cuts Reigns off and Roman doesn’t look pleased. The nominees are:

Mark Henry faking retirement

Shawn Michaels superkicking Daniel Bryan inside the Cell

Paul Heyman costing CM Punk MITB

HHH Pedigreeing Daniel Bryan at Summerslam

The winner is again after a break.

Post break and Shawn Michaels wins. Shawn thinks it’s ironic that he double crossed people for 25 years and wins an award four years after he retired. The fans chant YOU SOLD OUT and Shawn said he did that years ago which is why he’s still here. Shawn didn’t come off like a heel here but he wasn’t the nicest guy in the world.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

This is another match we don’t need to see again. Kofi gets in a running kick to start but runs into a knee in the corner. A big boot puts Miz down and a few knees to the head get two each. Trouble in Paradise misses and Miz bails to the floor as a result. Miz tries to walk out but Kofi chases him down and blasts Miz in the back of the head. Back in and a springboard shot to the back of Miz’s head gets two. Miz counters a rollup and kicks him into the buckle and rolls Kofi up with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:38. Pretty messy match.

Post match Kofi kicks Miz in the head like a sore loser.

Eve Torres returns to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:

The Bella Twins

Funkadactyls

Kaitlyn

Natalya

Eva Marie

AJ Lee

After a break the Bella Twins win and are booed out of the building.

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel

Ryback pounds Mysterio down to start but Rey slides through his legs and kicks Ryback in the face. The big guy heads outside to avoid the 619 and heads back inside to face the Big Show. Ryback is shoved into the corner and chopped in the chest before it’s off to Goldust for an elbow drop. Back from a break with Rey spinning Cesaro down with a headscissors before it’s back to Goldust.

Goldie is dragged into the corner and beaten down by Swagger, only to come back with the uppercut to the jaw. Swagger sends him to the floor so Cesaro can clothesline Goldust down for two. Off to Axel for a dropkick and an elbow for two before it’s back to Ryback for some pounding. Swagger puts on a front facelock as we hear about the Ascension Ceremony later tonight. There will be 20 world champions around the ring as the titles are raised into the air for the last time….except for Sunday but at least it’s something new.

Cesaro double stomps Goldust for two and we hit the chinlock. Goldust fights up and powerslams Cesaro down, only to be sent into the corner for a beating from Swagger. The Real Americans both come in but get caught in a double DDT to put everyone down. The hot tag brings in Cody to face Axel as house is cleaned. A springboard missile dropkick puts Axel down and there’s the moonsault press for two as everything breaks down. Big Show spears various heels and Rey tags himself in. The Disaster kick sets up the 619 and the top rope splash pins Axel at 11:40.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t bad but these matches throwing Goldust/Cody vs. any combination of heels are going to stop working eventually. Big Show and Mysterio don’t work for me as a team as they’ve done the big man/little man combination so many times that it just doesn’t hold up.

How to download the WWE App The Sequel!

Booker and Jerry bring out Shawn Michaels to present Superstar of the Year. First though, Shawn declares himself Mr. Slammy. Also, since Shawn was always giving A+ performances, maybe we should call the award the H-B-Shizzle? Anyway, the nominees are:

Brock Lesnar

CM Punk

Big Show

Daniel Bryan

Randy Orton

John Cena

An hour and fifteen minutes in, this show is dedicated to Nelson Mandela. I really hope that was at the beginning of the show as well.

Bryan wins to set up the confrontation with Michaels. Bryan thanks the fans for giving him the H-B-Shizzle Award but also thanks Shawn for costing him the world title. This award is because of the people rather than what the Authority wants. Oh and GO SEAHAWKS.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cara now has red white and green tights. We get an inset interview with Del Rio saying he’s a former world champion and Cara is nothing. Del Rio is aggressive to start by headbutting Cara down, only to be cross bodied for his efforts. Cara pounds him on the head but gets caught in a suplex to put him down. More forearms put Del Rio on the floor but he tries to charge back in, only to be dropkicked out to the floor.

A Russell Wilson MVP (Seahawks quarterback) chant starts up as Del Rio is sent into the barricade. Back in and the corner enziguri puts Cara down but Alberto misses what looked to be a dropkick, even though Cara was on the mat. Del Rio rolls to the floor before the Swanton can launch and we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock but Cara fighting out and dropkicking Alberto down for two. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alberto and he takes Sin outside to send him into the barricade.

Back in and we hit another chinlock before the low superkick gets two for Del Rio. Cara avoids a charge into the corner and hits a tornado DDT for two. A handspring elbow gets the same but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker to the arm. Cara escapes the armbreaker and hits a rolling Angle Slam to put Alberto down. The Swanton takes too long to set up though and Cara gets crotched on the top. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets caught in a sunset bomb, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 11:04.

Rating: B-. If they’re not careful they’re going to make a star out of Sin Cara. It’s remarkable how much better Hunico is at playing the character and he’s nailing this second run. Good match here and it’s good to see Del Rio dropping down the card like he should have done a long time ago.

The Prime Time Players are here to present the Audience Presentation Award, which is basically best chant. They insert the Millions of Dollars dance as an honorable mention. The nominees are:

Fandango-ing

YES! YES! YES!

Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks

What’s Up!

Daniel Bryan wins which isn’t a huge surprise. He says the only thing he can think of: YES! YES! YES!

Brodus Clay vs. Xavier Woods

Woods goes right at him and pounds away in the corner, only to be powerbombed in half to stop the momentum. Brodus hits a middle rope splash for the pin at 39 seconds.

Post match Brodus destroys Woods with elbows and splashes. Woods appears to have hurt ribs.

Here’s Miz to present Insult of the Year. The nominees are:

AJ Lee – “I didn’t get here because I SUCKED….up to the right people.” (Total Divas promo)

Zeb Colter – Almost anything he said

Paul Heyman – Insulting CM Punk

Stephanie McMahon – Insulting Big Show before firing him

Stephanie wins, of course. She says what she said was a huge compliment because everyone knows it was best for business.

CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Reigns are staying at ringside. Punk takes him down into a headlock followed by a wicked looking armbar to start. Dean fights up and takes Punk over to the rope, only to be taken down with a hammerlock. Back up and Punk tries a spinning cross body off the ropes but dives into a gutbuster instead. Dean stomps away at the injured ribs and drops an elbow for two before being Punk’s back around the ropes.

Punk has his face shoved into the mat for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. CM fights up and sends Dean chest first into the corner before throwing Ambrose outside to get a breather. The suicide dive takes Ambrose out but Punk has to keep an eye on the rest of the Shield as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose holding a headlock but getting belly to back suplexed down. Punk misses a dropkick and as per wrestling logic, he hurts himself despite landing the same way he would have had the move connected. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Ambrose and some forearms keep him in trouble. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow for two but Ambrose comes right back with a butterfly suplex.

Punk’s top rope cross body is rolled through for two but he comes back with the high kick for two of his own. The fans think this is awesome. Ambrose knees him in the rubs but sends Punk to the floor where Shield gets in his face for some reason. The other two members leave and Punk hits a quick GTS for the pin at 17:07.

Rating: B. As I said on Smackdown: this was exactly what you would expect from Punk vs. Ambrose when they get time. I wish they would let someone else lose the fall to Punk, but at least this time we got some storyline development as a result. Very solid TV match here as anyone would have expected.

Post match Reigns comes back in with a spear to Punk’s bad ribs.

We get the same video about what winning the world title means from Smackdown.

Mick Foley presents the Most Extreme Moment of the Year Award. The nominees are:

Shield putting Undertaker through a table in England

Ryback slamming Cena through the set in their last man standing match

CM Punk destroying Heyman on top of the Cell

Wyatt Family crushing Kane’s head at Summerslam

Punk wins although almost none of these were extreme. He says it’s weird to win an award without wearing pants but promises to be even more extreme on Sunday against the Shield.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Jey tries to speed things up on Rowan to start and manages to dropkick him out to the floor. In a cool spot, Jey dives through the ropes while Jimmy dives off the top to take out Harper. Bray laughs as we take a break. Back with Harper holding Jey in a chinlock before bringing in Rowan for a fallaway slam. Erick misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Jimmy for a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack in the corner. Everything breaks down and Harper gets superkicked down, setting up the Superfly Splash for two as Rowan makes the save. Rowan is kicked down as well but Harper takes Jey’s head off for the pin at 8:28.

Rating: C-. The show is starting to drag but at least the match wasn’t too bad. That lariat is absolutely awesome and proves that a simple move can become something special if it’s given enough time. Rowan is looking better and better every time he’s out there which is nothing but good.

Bret Hart presents the Match of the Year Award. The nominees are:

CM Punk vs Undertaker – Wrestlemania 29

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield – Battleground

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar – Extreme Rules

The Rock vs. John Cena – Wrestlemania 29

Rock vs. Cena wins which is as good as anything else I guess. Cena gets a mixed reaction but it’s mainly booing for his standard acceptance speech.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

Since this show hasn’t gone on long enough already. Tamina takes her into the corner and stomps away as AJ looks on with an evil smile from ringside. Natalya avoids a charge and hits a discus lariat but goes after AJ. Tamina picks up Natalya but accidentally swings her into AJ, allowing Natalya to put on the Sharpshooter for the win at 1:37.

There are twenty former world or WWE Champions in the ring for the final segment. We have Swagger, Christian, Bryan, Mysterio, Miz, Henry, Khali, HHH, Booker T, Kane, Bret, Punk, Foley, Del Rio, Big Show, HBK and Ziggler. HHH gives an introduction but a Daniel Bryan chant makes him pause. Henry raises Bryan’s hand to really fire up the crowd. This is one heck of a chant as the YES YES YES keeps it going. HHH finally gets a word in and brings out Cena and Orton to bring us up to 19 champions (JBL was supposed to be #20 but he’s still on commentary).

The belts are placed on the hanger and Orton talks about what image means to Cena. He gets annoyed at the fans chanting YES before talking about taking years off Foley’s career and embarrassing Shawn over and over. There wouldn’t have had to be a Montreal Screwjob because Orton would have knocked Bret out cold. The fans think Orton sucks before booing Cena out of the building as well. Cena says Orton talked about working hard and asks Bryan to stand next to him.

Cena asks Bryan where he’s from and if his parents were WWE Superstars. Bryan says no, but YES he’s had to work for everything he’s achieved in WWE. Orton hasn’t had to work his entire career because the right guys liked him. Now he hides behind the Authority and says he’s bigger than everything here. Orton has always blamed everyone else for his failure and has had behavior problems everywhere.

The only reason Randy wants the titles is greed but Cena has always given opportunities. When no one wanted Ziggler, Cena said let’s fight. When Punk was about to leave, Cena agreed to give the best in the world the title shot. When Daniel Bryan was the hottest thing in WWE, Cena gave him a shot and lost. Orton is going to need luck on Sunday and they

very tensely shake hands. The belts are raised and the brawl is on.

Punk goes after Orton but HHH throws Punk down. That earns the boss a beating but Shawn kicks Punk down to save his buddy. Bryan hits the running knee on Shawn but has to avoid an RKO, shoving Orton into Stephanie in the process (crowd: “YES! YES! YES”!). HHH Pedigrees Orton as Cena and Kane help Stephanie up. The fans chant for Bryan as Orton looks at the Authority and Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was…..long. It set up the three major matches at TLC but the awards gimmick got old about an hour into the show. Bryan and Shield looked good tonight but other than that the awards felt like they were as planned as they possibly could have been. The ending segment came close to saving it but only brought it up to decent. The show wasn’t bad for the most part but it felt like a show you could have just read online the next morning and gotten everything you needed to know out of it.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Fandango – Running knee

Damien Sandow b. Santino Marella – You’re Welcome

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel – Top rope splash to Axel

Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio – Swanton Bomb

Brodus Clay b. Xavier Woods – Middle rope splash

CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose – GTS

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Discus lariat to Jey

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Sharpshooter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Some of these are actually big deals.

Breakout Star of the Year: The Shield

“This is Awesome!” Moment of the Year: Big Show knocks out Triple H

Trending Now (Hashtag of the Year): #BelieveInTheShield

Beard of the Year: Daniel Bryan

The following Slammy Awards were given out on WWE.com today:

“What a Maneuver!” Award: Roman Reigns’ spear

Faction of the Year: The Shield

“You Still Got It!” Award: Goldust

Couple of the Year: Daniel Bryan & Brie Bella

Tag Team of the Year: Cody Rhodes & Goldust

Feat of Strength Award: Mark Henry pulls two trucks with his bare hands

“Say What!?” Quote of the Year: Dustry Rhodes “huckleberry” promo

Best Dance Moves: The Funkadactyls

Favorite Web Show: The JBL & Cole Show

Best Crowd of the Year: Raw after WrestleMania 29 (East Rutherford, NJ)

Catchphrase of the Year: “YES! YES! YES!”

Tribute to the Troops 2009
Date: December 4, 2009
Location: Holt Memorial Stadium, Balad Air Base, Iraq
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So back in 2003, WWE started doing an annual Christmas show for the troops stationed in Iraq (why did they never go to Afghanistan?). This was an awesome idea and they’ve run the same idea every year until 2010 when they started having the shows in America so people didn’t have to fly around the world for a few days. I’ve done a few of these so I figured I’d do the rest of them and since I can’t find a full copy of the first one right now, here’s the one from 2009. Let’s get to it.

Oh and before I forget: not all of the card is televised. There were eight matches on the card but only three aired on the broadcast. That would be changed I think next year. Lawler and Cole did commentary on tape from Connecticut later on.

One other note: the matches here are going to be lower quality than usual and there is nothing wrong with that. I’m going to be very lenient with my ratings on this show because the wrestling isn’t for the TV audience here.

The opening video talks about the USO’s history of taking care of the troops in combat.

Rey Mysterio/Mark Henry vs. CM Punk/Carlito

The arena is unlike anything you’ll ever see. It’s outside and everyone is in camouflage. Punk and Rey start things off in a feeling out process. They go to a test of strength with Punk easily putting Rey on the mat. Rey fights up but can’t hit the 619. Punk does the Hogan muscle pose so Rey tags in Henry. Mark runs him over a few times and drops him out of a gorilla press position. We get the Andre/Snuka splash but Carlito makes the save. Rey hits a double 619, followed by a World’s Strongest Slam on Carlito and a springboard splash to Punk for the stereo pins. Carlito was never in and this was a squash.

We get photos of the WWE guys and Divas visiting troops set to a Bob Dylan song.

Here’s Eve Torres to introduce R-Santa who introduces the Bellas, Layla, Alicia and Kelly in sexy Santa outfits to give gifts to the crowd.

Barack Obama thanks the troops for doing this.

More troop visits, including Morrison and Eve singing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. This runs for a LONG time but it’s just wrestlers shaking hands with soldiers.

General David Petraeus thanks us some more and we hear about all the cool stuff the troops do in Iraq.

The Miz vs. John Morrison

Miz is US Champion and Morrison is IC Champion, although he’s lost the title to Drew McIntyre since the show was taped. Morrison hits a fast dropkick to take over and get two as Cole talks about some commander who missed the show so he didn’t miss his anniversary for the seventh straight year. Smart man. Miz sidesteps Morrison to send him to the floor and the fans are all over Mikey. Back in and Miz goes up and gets crotched, giving Morrison a superplex for two. Starship Pain misses and Miz rolls him up for the pin with his feet on the ropes. Another short match but that’s fine.

We get a speech from Cena from after the match that’s up next. He talks about how he’s been here six years now and everyone knows how he feels about the troops. We get a highlight package set to Never Gonna Be Alone by Nickelback.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending even though he already lost the title to Sheamus at TLC. Jericho would be a tag champion here (no belt for some reason) but he also lost at TLC. Bad show for champions that. We get some abbreviated big match intros and it’s time to go. Jericho immediately takes him into the corner and pounds away but Cena comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex for no cover.

Jericho gets in a kick to the face to knock Cena to the floor for the springboard dropkick. We take a break (with more videos of the soldiers) and come back with Jericho putting on the Walls. Cena finally rolls through into the STF but Jericho grabs the rope. While the hold is on we cut to a shot of the crowd and you see a fighter jet flying through the shot. That’s awesome.

Cole thanks the staff here and apparently one of the big shots is named Ned Flanders. I played that back to see if it was right and that’s the exact name he says. Jericho tries an AA off the middle rope but Jericho headbutts him down. Jericho tries a middle rope cross body but Cena rolls through into the AA to retain.

Rating: C. This was fine even though we barely saw most of the match. Jericho never beating Cena is almost a running joke at this point but I don’t think it was ever brought up. This was a very quick match which apparently ran less than eight minutes in full. To be fair though it’s like 100 degrees so the lack of endurance is acceptable.

A three minute highlight package of the while trip ends the show.

Overall Rating: N/A. I know that’s kind of cheap but we had one rateable match and a ton of the show was just clips of the guys with the troops. Still though, what in the world do you want me to say? This is about a special Christmas show and giving the troops who get shot at every day something fun. The full show versions of this we would get starting next year would be much easier to grade. It’s really hard to not smile when you watch one of these though.

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No Way Out 2008
Date: February 17, 2008
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 13,306
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’ve FINALLY moved past the brand exclusive shows and into the Elimination Chamber years. There are two of them tonight so I’m rather interested in this show. I figured since I hadn’t watched a No Way Out in a month before I put up the 07 show that I might as well just finish the series so it isn’t Mania time before it goes up. Anyway, both of the matches tonight are for the title shots rather than the belts, as Cena is cashing in his Rumble win TONIGHT to get a shot at Orton. Odd but ok. Other than that there’s Edge vs. Rey for the Smackdown Title and that’s about it. Just 6 matches on the card this year. Let’s get to it.

Oh and also, the whole adding in the Chamber popped the buyrate from about 218,000 up to 329,000. In short, IT WORKED.

The opening video talks about how the Road to Wrestlemania has led us here. The theme song is Fake It by Seether which is an awesome song so I like the transitional stuff for once.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo had taken the title from Punk and this is his rematch. We get a quick recap which involved something about a fiesta which I never thought was that great. We hear some of Tazz during this video which we weren’t supposed to hear. We also recap the Gulf of Mexico match which wasn’t much either. Crowd is entirely behind Punk.

Chavo sends him to the floor early and tries to get a countout early. In a cool spot with Punk on his stomach Chavo hits a front flip onto his back for two. Off to a body scissors as Punk is in trouble. Punk comes back and gets a powerslam for two. GTS is countered into a rana and a tornado DDT gets two.

Punk does Eddie’s dance to tick off the crowd a bit. He goes nearly full heel as he hits Three Amigos. Knee and bulldog get two as Chavo gets his foot on the rope. Punk keeps going off on Chavo, beating on him on the floor which gets two as we’re back in the ring now. Punk kicks him in the head and goes to the corner for a top rope rana but is shoved off and the Frog Splash keeps the title on Chavo. Kind of an abrupt ending.

Rating: C+. This was more or less a TV main event but not bad. Chavo getting a clean pin after needing Edge to get the title in the first place is a good thing for him. The ECW Title would start going to monsters soon as Kane would win it at Mania in 8 seconds. Anyway, this wasn’t bad but it was short and too abrupt for my tastes.

We recap Smackdown where Rey messed up Edge’s proposal to Vickie. This was the start of Vickie in a wheelchair. Mike Adamle talks to Rey who says he’s not sorry but it was an accident. Rey has a torn bicep apparently but he’s going to wrestle anyway. Floyd Mayweather pops up and is friends with Rey apparently.

Jericho is getting ready for his Chamber match later.

LOWER THE CHAMBER!

We get a quick highlight reel of Chamber matches over the years.

Great Khali vs. Undertaker vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Batista vs. Big Daddy V

Winner gets the Smackdown World Title match at Mania. MVP is US Champion here. In case you’re not familiar with the rules, you start with two in the ring and four in small pods. Every four minutes another person is released. You can be eliminated by pinfall or submission but it has to be in the ring. Last man standing wins. Matt Striker is Big Daddy V’s manager which I had forgotten about.

Finlay’s music is so bad here it’s not even funny. It does not fit at all, but at least he doesn’t have Horny with him here. Apparently it’s Horny vs. Vince tomorrow night. That led to JBL destroying Horny and setting up a surprisingly good hardcore match with Finlay vs. JBL at Mania. We start with Batista vs. Undertaker. I think that’s sufficient enough don’t you?

Taker slams the door shut and it’s on. We have the camera shot of the ring kind of blocked by the cage but it’s nothing you can really ignore. They slug it out early on with Batista surprisingly winning. There’s a camera in the ring which helps a lot but they don’t use it that often. We head out to the cage floor and Batista is in trouble. And never mind as he gets a boot in to send Taker back into the ring.

They slow it down a bit as we’re waiting on the next guy to come in with less than a minute to go. Batista takes over and gets booed LOUDLY. Ok it’s been four minutes and no one has come in yet. Is it five perhaps? More like four and a half apparently as both guys are down. Big Daddy V is in third to loud booing. V destroys both guys for awhile just because he can.

He doesn’t do much aside from choking and chopping. And now we get really stupid as Taker is knocked through the door and hits the floor. Nice job guys. Taker might have tweaked his knee as he fell. V splashes his as he comes back in just to be a jerk. Running splash crushes Batista too. Batista finally wakes up and gets a VERY good spinebuster to V considering the enormous gravitational pull of V’s fat. Taker gets a DDT on the steel and apparently you can get a pin out there as Batista gets rid of V.

Khali is in fourth just after V goes out and the beating continues. I think the fans are chanting USA but it’s not that clear. Taker hammers on Khali but can’t get the chokeslam. Punjabi Plunge gets two so instead of going after the weak Taker, Khali goes after the rested Batista like a stupid man. Vice Grip to Batista has him in trouble. And never mind as he breaks out and hits a spear to put Khali down.

Taker knocks Singh off the cage with a kick and then gets Hell’s Gate to eliminate Khali but he won’t let go. Back to Taker vs. Batista as we just kill time (which has been over five minutes since the next guy came in but whatever) until Finlay comes in. He comes in but Taker kicks him in the face to put him right down. Cole calls the STEEL chain concrete-like as Finlay gets the Celtic Cross for two.

Batista gets a slingshot to send Finlay into the cage. After a brief skirmish between the only two guys with a chance to win this, Finlay takes Deadman to the outside and wortks him over a bit. Finlay manages to send Taker through the BULLETPROOF, yes BULLETPROOF I SAY, glass. We finally get to MVP’s countdown with them not even trying to hide the lack of caring about the clock anymore.

Taker stands in front of MVP’s pod to wait on him and hammers away on him in the pod. Everyone is in now. MVP gets a Drive By to Batista and one to Taker as well, getting two on the taller one. MVP finds a chain from somewhere to choke away on Finlay for a bit. Taker is busted after a shot with the chain. He gets up and stares down MVP. The no selling of punches begins.

MVP tries to hide on the top of a pod but here comes the dude that sleeps with McCool. He grabs MVP by the throat and throws him over his head (called a reverse chokeslam which works as well as anything else) so Finlay can get the pin. Taker misses a top rope elbow to Finlay and all three guys are down. And here’s Horny from under the cage to send in the Irish club that I can’t spell to Finlay.

A shot to the head with it gets two on Batista so Undertaker chokeslams Finlay onto the cage which gets us down to one on one. Batista is busted open too. They do a long slow start and then slug it out. Crowd says yay for Taker so you can tell he’s far more popular. Batista Bomb hits rather soon for two, making the fourth finisher that Taker has kicked out of (Bomb, Plunge, Drive By, Celtic Cross).

Then we get proof that Batista is a very stupid man as he goes for multiple punches on the middle rope. As has happened to EVERYONE THAT HAS DONE THAT TO UNDERTAKER IN THE LAST SEVEN YEARS, the Last Ride hits for a long two. Dude your mentor was HHH. Did you never watch their Wrestlemania match? Taker mounts him and throws bombs. Batista sends him out to the cage but he sets like a powerslam and tries to ram Taker’s head in again. Taker shoves off the cage, drops to his feet from Animal’s shoulders and hooks the Tombstone in the ring to set up Taker vs. Edge at Mania. Sweet, sweet ending.

Rating: C+. The big problem here should be really obvious: there was ZERO chance anyone named Batista or Undertaker wasn’t winning here and everyone knew it. They started the match, the dominated it, and they ended it. That’s fine as they had mad chemistry together and the stuff they did was good, but did we need four extra guys in there and 30 minutes to get us here? It’s ok but it’s one of the weaker Chamber matches for sure.

The Edgeheads (Hawkins and Ryder) tell Edge that Taker is 15-0 at Mania which Edge more or less shakes off. Edge tries to set up a plan for later but Teddy comes in. He bands Hawkins and Ryder from ringside just because he can.

Mania ad with a bad Baywatch parody.

We get a clip of Maria and Ashley at the Playboy mansion as Maria was the Playboy chick this year, which was awesome stuff.

Ric Flair vs. Mr. Kennedy

Career threatening match here as if Flair loses he has to retire. Who why is Jeff Hardy suddenly underwater? Oh that’s just the logo for the show. Creepy much? Flair’s knee is taped and Kennedy struts to start. Apparently Kennedy is the future of the WWE and a win over Flair will define his career. Why would that be the case? If he can’t beat a guy that was over the hill five years ago and 20 years past his prime, what kind of future does he have anyway?

Kennedy works on the knee with a half crab like a smart man. Flair shouts an expletive which is of course censored. Figure Four on the post gets a Bret Hart reference. BIG slap to Flair, who has had no offense at all so far that I can remember. Regular Figure Four goes on from Kennedy but he’s no Jay Lethal so it doesn’t work.

Kennedy can’t manage to break a 60 year old’s legs and the fight is on again. The fireman’s carry rolling slam gets two. JR asks why Kennedy doesn’t get himself disqualified. Maybe because it would mean Flair is still active and it would gain him nothing? Flair hits a chop block and goes after the knee.

Kennedy counters into the anal displaying rollup for two with the ropes but gets caught cheating so it only gets two. Figure Four is countered again into a small package for two. There’s the Figure Four for real and of course a 60 year old man gets in two shots to the knee and a basic hold is enough to beat one of the young hot shots on the roster. Makes perfect sense no?

Rating: D+. This wasn’t very good. It was the epitome of a Raw match and not a very good one at all. Flair hit all of three moves and managed to win clean. I get that he can’t lose, but it looks stupid to see him go over these young guys clean every time. How does that help anyone at all, especially when Flair is leaving in a few weeks? I don’t get it but whatever.

Vince says to Finlay that he’s going to hurt Horny tomorrow.

JBL is worried about the Chamber.

We recap Edge vs. Rey and of course, it’s PERSONAL. We see part of the first match they had at the Rumble where Vickie got out of her wheelchair and took a 619. That set up the apology thing which set up the engagement thing. And of course we get back to the Guerrero name and all that jazz.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Winner gets Undertaker at Mania. And remember Rey has a really bad and legit arm injury. Floyd Mayweather is in the front row. Edge’s theme song is still awesome. Rey keeps dodging to start but hurts his arm on a rana. Rey hits the floor and Edge gets a baseball slide to send Rey’s arm into the floor and then into the steps.

Rey is caught in the Tree of Woe but Edge misses a baseball slide to send Edge’s balls into the post. Sorry Vickie. Moonsault press gets two as Rey can’t hook a leg. Rey gets a 619 out of almost nowhere but Edge beats him to his feet due to the arm. He tries for a springboard something, but Edge spears him out of the air to pin him clean. This didn’t even run six minutes so you can tell Rey was hurt badly.

Rating: C. Yes this was a pretty bad match, but major points to Rey for gutting it out and doing what he could. He was barely able to do anything out there but he tried which is all you can ask for at the end of the day. The arm was the focal point of the match so that makes sense. They’ve had better matches before when both were healthy so it’s almost impossible to blame this on anything but the arm. Bad match, but not their fault at all.

Here’s Big Show for absolutely no apparent reason. He’s a face at this point, but that would get thrown out the window for the next few weeks. Apparently this is a return of some sort. Oh wow this is his return from his hiatus after December to Dismember. He’s lost 108 pounds which is rather impressive and actually looks legit.

And never mind the face part as he hits the floor and grabs Rey by the throat and smacks him in the arm, saying does your arm hurt. He gets in Mayweather’s face a bit but drags Rey back into the ring. Floyd’s team tries to keep him back but since WWE security is TERRIBLE, Mayweather gets in. There’s no commentary here. Show shoves him and gets down on his knees. Mayweather goes right at him and lands three or four bombs, apparently legitimately breaking Show’s nose. Floyd runs and we have our Mania match.

Mania is 42 days away.

Jeff Hardy is getting ready. Check for any flat surface with powder on it.

Adamle is with some fans and can’t remember the company he’s in. We recap Cena vs. Orton which started with Orton hurting Cena (it was actually Kennedy I think but Orton was #1 contender so that sounded better). This set up the EPIC return at the Rumble which no one, I mean NO ONE, saw coming. Cena won, but is cashing in tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton isn’t quite hearing voices yet which is good for me as I like his old music better. There’s the bell and they’re going for the big epic feeling here, which is getting pretty close actually. Cena gets a small package for two almost immediately. Orton gets in a shot to the ribs and the beating is on. Cena’s bulldog out of nowhere gets two.

Orton comes back as neither guy has had anything as far as an extended advantage in the first three minutes or so. Cena keeps going for quick wins with rollups and covers off weaker moves while Orton is trying to slow it down and take away Cena’s momentum. The crowd is split here for the most part. He counters the elevated DDT and gets the top rope Fameasser from the top for a close two.

FU is countered and Orton goes after the knee/ankle. Since that makes no sense he stomps away on the bad shoulder/pectoral area that Cena had hurt and caused him to be put out for awhile. Makes sense. Orton can’t get a knee drop on the pec and we hit the chinlock as is Orton’s custom. Cena gets the Protoplex out of nowhere and with a point to the Mania sign, Orton can’t see him. I have no idea what the connection is but Cena is rocking the serious stare here so don’t question it.

FU can’t hit again though and Orton hits the floor. At 9 and a half they both fly into the ring to prevent the double countout. Back in and Orton catches Cena in the backbreaker, although Orton may have tweaked his knee. Crowd is all over Cena here. A middle rope suplex is shoved off but Cena misses another Fameasser. Orton starts that slithering stuff he tends to do but the RKO is countered and Cena gets the STFU!

Orton gets a rope and heads to the floor, holding his knee. He DEMANDS that the referee count him out but was playing possum. RKO hits on the floor and Cena is legally dead. Somehow he manages to get back in without the help of a yellow sun as Orton is shocked. And there’s a slap to the referee for the DQ to prevent Cena from winning the title which isn’t as bad of an ending as it seems, because now Cena has used his title shot. He lands an FU and the STFU post match but it doesn’t mean much.

Rating: B-. I liked this pretty well although it’s no classic or anything. I like the ending as it fits something that a heel would do to keep the title. Cena is out of a chance at Mania but of course he would fight Orton there anyway, although with HHH thrown in for fun. The fans doing the GOODBYE song is funny stuff as he was absolutely loathed in this match. Decent match and one of the better ones they’ve had actually.

Orton lays in the ring as the fans chant THANK YOU RANDY. This is funny stuff.

HHH is sitting in the back and Shawn comes up. HBK says this isn’t the appropriate time to shill merchandise or crack jokes and apologizes for what he might have to do out there. They say they’ll go through each other if they have to and that seems to be mutually ok.

The Chamber is lowered again and we get the winner of the mobile poll. Hardy, HHH and Shawn have the vast majority of the votes. The other three combine for 10%.

HHH vs. Umaga vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This should be a bit better don’t you think? The entrances take the better part of forever, especially HHH’s as he comes out first. Umaga is second and is pure filler in this match. I think he had Batista at Mania in a horrible match. Jeff gets a HUGE pop but it would be 9 months before he was in the world title scene again. He’s IC Champion here and would be suspended for a few months soon after this for Wellness.

It’ll be Jericho and Shawn starting us off. They would have their huge feud in about two months. Jericho is still a face here and it’s odd to see him in long tights with short hair. At least Shawn isn’t in the brown tights. Nice to hear Shawn come out to his own music rather than the DX song.

We get a rather technical start as this is far more or a wrestling match than a brawl so far which is a nice thing to see for once. They start slugging it out and Shawn nips up. The top rope elbow hits knees though and the best part about it: the elbow clearly would have hit had the knees not been there. Shawn tries to do the same thing to the Lionsault but Jericho grabs the Walls instead.

He can’t hook the hold though but Shawn can’t hook a Sharpshooter either. Both go for either cross bodies or a shoulder block as the time comes down. It’s Umaga and the beatdown is on. Both pretty boys are in trouble quickly as he takes both down with a clothesline. Shawn and Jericho team up to fight the monster off but he’s like screw it and hits a Samoan Drop on both guys at the same time (think Cena to Edge and Show at Mania).

Umaga kicks Shawn to the outside of the ring and hammers on Jericho for awhile. He goes up for a middle rope splash but can’t crush Jericho and here comes the Texas. In a cool spot Jericho gets the Walls and Shawn hooks the Crossface as JBL comes in at 4. He of course breaks up the Walls and hammers Jericho for awhile which isn’t incredibly smart. Shawn is busted open as JBL pounds down Jericho.

Umaga and Shawn fight in the ring until Shawn is thrown out to the steel again. After maybe two minutes HHH comes in to a somewhat mixed reaction that becomes cheering partway through. He hammers on Umaga, sending his head into Bradshaw’s. Umaga’s head is rammed into one of the metal beams on a pod. HHH goes after Jericho but takes the Clothesline From JBL, again for no apparent reason. For his troubles JBL takes a Codebreaker and is out first.

Before he leaves though JBL grabs a chair and drills everyone with some HARD shots to the head. Here comes Jeff, just in time. Umaga is the only one up as the crack head comes in. Slingshot dropkick to Shawn as Jeff cleans house. DX comes after him but he hits a Whisper in the Wind. Pay no attention to HHH falling backwards before it hits too. Now the Samoan comes back and destroys various people.

Umaga gets a running hip smash to Jericho’s head through the BULLETPROOF glass, which should kill him but since it’s WWE he’s up enough to get a Codebreaker just after Chin Music. A Pedigree is added and after a Swanton is the fourth finisher off a pod, Umaga is FINALLY gone. Shawn hits Jericho with Chin Music and Jeff steals a pin. Pedigree and Twist of Fate take care of Shawn. Those three eliminations happened in less than 45 seconds.

We’re down to HHH vs. Hardy now for the Mania spot. Jeff gets a DDT on the steel but can’t get a cover as his back is hurt from the landing. Jeff goes the heck off on HHH who can barely stand. Jeff counters a Pedigree with a backdrop but can’t get the Swanton. Pedigree hits but gets two as the pop blows the roof off for a few seconds. Twist of Fate on the chair is reversed and a Pedigree onto it ends this, sending HHH to Mania.

Rating: B+. Much better match here with this being a war throughout, especially with four guys combining to take out Umaga. Granted when he or JBL is the worst guy in there rather than Khali or Big Daddy V things can go a bit better. It was also far more violent and while it was pretty clear HHH or Hardy would win, there was a chance Shawn or Jericho could pull it off. That and shaving off five minutes helped too.

Overall Rating: B-. Not a great show but much like TLC was last week, they didn’t try to have a great show but rather a flashy one which worked just as well. It went by far faster than the previous year’s and was definitely an upgrade. They would have another the next year with the titles on the line and it wouldn’t be as good. Anyway this wasn’t bad but it would have been better with one less Chamber match and another match added on instead. Still decent though.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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According to Meltzer.  This would mean the show is the lowest bought PPV in modern history save for December to Dismember.  Night of Champions and Summerslam were down as well.  HIAC was up very slightly.

 

In other words, three of the four shows headlined by Bryan were down in buys and the only one up saw Cena returning.  That’s why Daniel Bryan is feuding with the Wyatts instead of the Authority and John Cena is headlining another pay per view.

 

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 2, 2013
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on TLC now since a title unification match eleven years in the making only needs three weeks of build. Tonight we have a contract signing between Orton and Cena which is bound to wind up in some kind of an altercation. On top of that we might find out what happened when the human goat was kidnapped by the backwoods religious cult. That could only happen in wrestling or a very disturbing movie. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open the show. He says he’s in denial because last week he made the sin of criticizing HHH on Raw. Now he finds himself here in denial because there has to be something between insulting the Authority and being attacked by Shield last week. If he’s right, that makes the Authority the biggest group of cowardly censored something that starts with a D in history.

This brings out a smiling Stephanie with something to say. She hopes everyone had a good Thanksgiving but thinks Punk is way off base here. Would the Authority be the kind of people to send the Shield after Punk because of a simple insult? They’ve matured further than that and the Authority had nothing to do with the attack last week. They have more important things to do tonight, including overseeing the contract signing. Stephanie is fair though and says Punk can bring up any concerns with Kane.

Kane reiterates that the Authority had nothing to do with the Shield’s attack, so this issue is resolved, unless Punk has any questions. Punk asks when Kane because this corporate suck up and advises Kane not to patronize him. Punk wants Kane in the ring right now but Stephanie holds him back. Instead here’s the Shield so Punk immediately grabs a chair. Stephanie tells Shield to stop because Punk is to be respected and admired. She leaves so Kane makes a handicap match for TLC with Punk vs. all three members of Shield.

Damien Sandow vs. Dolph Ziggler

The winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot at TLC so Langston is at ringside. Ziggler hits a quick dropkick for two and a clothesline puts Sandow down. Langston says he’d rather face Dolph instead of saying he’d like to face either guy. They head to the floor with Ziggler being dropped face first onto the steps for a two count. Langston talks about competing in Skip-It with Ziggler back when they were close to confuse JBL.

The Wind-Up Elbow gets two for Sandow but he misses a middle rope moonsault. Ziggler rains down right hands in the corner and drops Sandow with a neckbreaker for two. A sunset flip gets the same and Sandow misses his running flip neckbreaker. The Fameasser gets two on Damien but Ziggler gets crotched on the top and You’re Welcome sends Sandow to TLC at 3:54.

Rating: C. This was something the title has missed for far too long: someone winning a match over an established name to earn a title shot. There’s nothing overly complicated to that idea and it works fine here. Langston doesn’t have to lose a match to set it up, Sandow gets a win and we have a title match down the road. Why is that so much to ask for most of the time?

Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins/Natalya

The non-Total Divas are now the True Divas. AJ skips around the ring while Nikki gets two off a crucifix on Tamina to start. Brie comes in with a middle rope dropkick and a running knee to Snuka’s chest. AJ is still skipping around the ring. Summer chokes Brie on the ropes and shows off her flexibility before getting a two count.

Brie finally fights out and makes the tag to Natalya who speeds things up a bit. Tamina is knocked off the apron so Summer shouts at AJ to stop skipping and make the tag. AJ finally comes in and nearly gets caught in the Sharpshooter as everything breaks down. The distraction lets Natalya roll up AJ for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D. Here’s the problem with the Total Divas face push in a nutshell: we haven’t been given a reason to care about them. There was never a moment where they were all turned face, other than AJ’s promo from months ago which was all true stuff. WWE is assuming that fans like the Total Divas because they have a reality show and the Bellas date Cena and Bryan, though I don’t think Cena and Nikki have ever been announced on WWE TV. Other than that, they just started being faces and the announcers started talking about AJ being mean. That’s not enough to build a boring feud on and it’s showing badly.

AJ skips away post match.

Here’s Wade Barrett’s new gimmick: Bad News Barrett, standing at a podium next to the announcers’ desk. He has good news and bad news for us. The good: we’re live on Raw. The bad: we’re stuck in a place full of hillbillies that had to name their city after the state they live in. Barrett thanks the crowd and the words #Bad News Barrett appear on screen. End segment.

Orton demands that Brad Maddox tell the WWE Universe that he’s a bigger star and a more well known name than Cena.

Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan

So after disappearing last week, Bryan appears to be fine. There’s no Bray in sight. Bryan goes after Rowan to start before grabbing a sleeper, only to be flipped down onto his back. A hard slam puts Bryan down as JBL talks about Shakespeare writing psycho babble. The beating continues with Rowan throwing Bryan to the floor, only to be dropkicked in the ribs on the way back in. Bryan’s dive is caught in mid air and Rowan slams him into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock but being slammed right back down instead. Rowan takes him to the floor and sends Bryan into the steps but Bryan comes back with a drop toehold into the corner. The running dropkick staggers Rowan but Bryan charges into an elbow to put him down. Some knees to the head get two for Erick and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Bryan’s back.

Daniel tries another comeback but charges into a fallaway slam. Rowan hits a running splash in the corner for two as JBL thinks Bryan should join the Wyatt Family. Bryan finally comes back with a dropkick to send Rowan to the floor, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Erick down but the big YES Kick is blocked. Bryan is put on the top rope and kicked in the face but he slides down Rowan’s back for the rollup pin at 14:03.

Rating: C+. This was the power vs. speed formula worked very well. On top of that it made Rowan look better than he ever has before as he dominated about twelve minutes out of the fourteen in the match. What more can you ask for from a match to build up the Bryan vs. Bray feud?

Post match Bray pops up on screen and tells the Wyatts to stand down. He talks about doing a lot of horrible things since he’s been on this earth and that he can admit when he’s in the wrong. Bray was wrong about Bryan when he thought Bryan was just chasing the improbable dream. How long is Bryan willing to live this lie and soil their red carpet? They look at Bryan like he’s a gorilla in a cage and will never love him like Bray could. Together they could bring the machine to its knees if Bryan will just open his eyes.

Post break Bryan is walking around in the back when he runs into Kane. The big man congratulates him on his success but makes Bryan vs. the three members of the Wyatt Family at TLC. We even get a mini-finger pointing yes from Kane.

Xavier Woods/R-Truth vs. Tons of Funk

This is over Woods borrowing Brodus’ music a bit too much. Brodus slams Woods down to start and apparently has scales on the back of his singlet now. Off to Tensai for some shoulders but Woods fights back with forearms. Truth comes in and pounds away on Tensai but gets run over with ease. The catapult sends him throat first into the middle rope and it’s back to Clay for some gyrations.

Truth comes back with a forearm to put both guys down and there’s the hot tag off to Woods. Things speed up a bit and the Honor Roll gets two on Clay but he comes back with the release suplex. Woods avoids the middle rope splash and gets the most awkward looking side roll you’ll see in a long time for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: D+. The fans were silent for most of this but the match was decent enough from a technical standpoint. Woods will grow on the fans if he’s allowed to be the comedy character he’s best at, but being Truth’s lackey isn’t going to do much for him. This is as good a way as any to bring him in though.

Clay glares at Tensai post match.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sin Cara has a large tattoo on his arm and shoulder, which means it might be Hunico under the mask instead of Mistico. The lighting is back again. Cara scores with a top rope armdrag and some kicks to the legs before a spinning armdrag off the top puts him down again. Del Rio heads to the floor and gets (mostly) caught by an Asai Moonsault.

Back in and Del Rio kicks Cara out to the floor before putting on a chinlock. A double stomp to Cara’s back gets two but Cara comes back with a nice to rope headbutt. Sin gets two off a spinning springboard cross body but gets caught in a German suplex for two. Del Rio misses the corner enziguri and gets caught by a Swanton Bomb for the huge upset at 4:43.

Rating: C. Has the writing staff completely changed tonight? We’ve had a #1 contenders match for a midcard title, a feud over stolen music and now a completely clean upset win. These are actually fresh ideas and they’re really helping things. WWE has been needing some new plot devices and it’s very nice to see some happening tonight.

Cena talks about the argument over which title is better raging for fifty years. We get a Flair and Hogan imitation to perk the false history up a little bit before Cena says the titles mean everything.

Shield says Punk can’t last with any of them at TLC.

Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Big Show vs. Shield

Big Show starts with Ambrose with the giant taking over with a headbutt and elbow drop. There’s the skin ripping chop in the corner and it’s off to Rollins who gets clotheslined inside out. We get the showdown with Reigns who has his vest ripped open for an even louder chop. Reigns goes to the eyes to bring in Ambrose, only to have him get slammed off the top.

Goldust and Cody both get their turns with some shots to Ambrose before Cody hits a seated knee for two. A delayed release front suplex gets two on Rollins and it’s back to Goldie for a few moments. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Cody who cleans house in the Shield corner. The moonsault press gets two on Ambrose but Dean escapes Cross Rhodes. Dean cranks on Cody’s arm to take over and we take a break.

Back with Rollins cranking on Cody’s arm before bringing Dean in again to stomp at the ribs. Roman comes back in and works on the arm even more before Rollins hits a splash in the corner. Cody finally gets in a shot to Dean’s ribs but Reigns breaks up the tag. Roman’s elbow misses though and there’s the hot tag off to Big Show. Ambrose low bridges Big Show to the floor for an eight count before Rollins can hit the top rope knee for no cover. Reigns puts on a front facelock and gets two off a shoulder block before it’s back to Dean for a sleeper.

Show suplexes him down and chokeslams an invading Reigns, giving us the final hot tag to Goldust. The Golden one hits his uppercut and a freaking hurricanrana of all things as everything breaks down. Dean dropkicks Cody to the floor but Big Show low bridges Ambrose out as well. Goldust’s powerslam puts Rollins down but Reigns spears Big Show. Cody takes out Reigns off to the apron but might have injured his elbow. Goldust loads up a superplex on Dean but Seth gets a quick rollup on Goldust for the pin at 20:40.

Rating: B-. The match picked up a lot at the end but felt like it was filling in time until the end of the match. The problem for me is the Rhodes brothers and Shield have fought in some combination six times on TV since the beginning of November alone. They need to keep these teams apart for awhile to make the matches feel special again before the magic goes away.

Punk is asked about how he feels for the handicap match. Apparently he feels pretty and witty and gay but changes his mind. He knows he’s going down but wants to know how many members of the Shield he’s taking with him.

More Bad News Barrett. The bad news is Americans celebrated Thanksgiving, meaning their arteries are now clogged and they sweat when they eat. End segment.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston/The Miz

Axel and Miz get things going with Miz taking over with a clothesline. Off to Kofi to crank on the arm and bring Miz back in with an ax handle to the shoulder. Axel’s clothesline to the back of the head puts Miz down and it’s back to Ryback. The monster shoves Miz around and clotheslines his head off to follow up. A delayed vertical suplex sets up a bearhug on the mat to work on the ribs.

Back to Axel for a dropkick before Ryback comes in again with a kick to the head. The second bearhug doesn’t last long either as Miz fights out, eventually making the hot tag to Kofi. Things speed up a bit and Kofi pounds away in the corner, only to be distracted by Axel, allowing Ryback to take over. A Shell Shock out of nowhere ends Kingston at 5:57.

Rating: D. Ryback and Axel are fine as a team but the match was there as a way to advance Kofi vs. Miz even more. Miz’s heel turn has worked decently so far as he’s getting to be the jerk that he naturally is, but he needs to do more than just roll up Kofi all the time. Dull match for the most part.

Post match Miz slaps Kofi.

Los Matadores sell us stuff.

Fandango vs. Mark Henry

Henry throws Fandango around to start and gyrates to Summer a bit. Well he was Sexual Chocolate after all. Fandango avoids a charge in the corner and hits a few shots, including a top rope cross body. It looked like Henry was supposed to catch him in midair but fell backwards instead. The World’s Strongest Slam ends Fandango at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Henry dancing was funny but that’s about it. This was even more fime filling tonight on a show that didn’t need any more of that at all. I can’t complain about seeing Summer Rae twice in a single night and she looked great out there but there wasn’t much else to talk about here.

We look at Titus in the food eating contest and then getting sick in JBL’s hat.

Real Americans vs. Prime Time Players

Titus runs over Swagger to start as the announcers talk about stomach ailments. A Cesaro distraction doesn’t do much as Titus sends Jack flying in a release fallaway slam. Swagger gets a boot up in the corner to send O’Neal to the floor followed by a hard clothesline. The Vader Bomb sets up the jumping double stomp for two as the announcers think Titus might get sick again.

A double back elbow gets two for the Americans and we hit the armbar. Now it’s off to a chinlock from Cesaro before he loads up the Swing. Swagger and Colter tell him not to for fear of Titus getting sick but Cesaro does a short version. O’Neal looks to be getting sick but falls into the corner for a tag off to Young. Darren cleans house with some nice suplexes but dives into the uppercut for the pin by Cesaro at 6:48.

Rating: D+. I guess this is another of those matches where they’re appealing to a certain demographic, but it’s certainly not mine. This wasn’t funny but I’ve never been one for the gross out style of comedy. If nothing else, Titus deserves better than this. I can’t believe I’m saying that but it’s true.

The new champion will be called the Unified Champion. I can’t imagine they’ll go with that.

Here are HHH and Stephanie for the contract signing. They make it clear that there will be ONE champion after the title match which is a good thing to make definitive. Both guys come out and HHH runs down the history of both titles, of course playing up the made up history of the World Title. Both guys sign and Orton talks about all the greats that have held the title, but he’s better than all of them.

Orton says he and the people here have something in common: they don’t like Cena very much. He’s the only person capable of taking Cena down and he’ll do that in two weeks. Cena says they’ve met before and Orton reminds Cena of kicking his dad in the head. The only reason Cena is on this earth is to lose every big match he’s ever in. The only dream Orton has ever turned into a nightmare was HHH’s because Orton never lived up to his potential.

Orton was supposed to be the best but he let a guy in a t-shirt and a ball cap take him down. Cena never asked to be the face of anything and he earned his title instead of having it handed to him. He may not be the Apex Predator but he’s John Cena. John challenges Randall to make a move but if he does he’ll show him what tables, ladders and chairs are all about. Orton flips the table and the fight is on.

Cena hits him with a ladder but Orton sends him into the post to take over. Orton loads up the announce table but Cena blasts him with another ladder and some chair shots to back it up. Randy is sent into the steps and back inside but he gets in a ladder shot of his own. Some chair shots put Cena down and Orton loads up a table. Cena sends him through a table in the corner though and it’s an AA through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is another show where it needed to be two hours. There were some actually fresh ideas out there with Sin Cara beating Del Rio intriguing me. Hunico is a better fit for the character and could take it to some far better places than Mistico. The bulk of the second half felt like a lot of time filler though which doesn’t make for an entertaining show. The good was stronger than the bad but also less frequent which drags the show down slightly. Still decent enough though.

Results

Damien Sandow b. Dolph Ziggler – You’re Welcome

Bella Twins/Natalya b. AJ Lee/Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Erick Rowan – Rollup

Xavier Woods/R-Truth b. Tons of Funk – Oklahoma roll to Clay

Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio – Swanton Bomb

Shield b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Big Show – Rollup to Goldust

Real Americans b. Prime Time Players – Uppercut to Young

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 25, 2013
Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York,
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Survivor Series and not a lot has changed. The main events all went exactly the same way everyone expected them to, but there was a surprise at the ending. John Cena and Randy Orton, both world champions, stood alone in the ring, seemingly teasing a title unification match at some point down the line. There might be some development on that tonight. Let’s get to it.

We recap the ending to last night’s show.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He brags about doing what he said he’d do and rise about the giant to keep the title last night. Orton asks HHH and Stephanie to come out here for something to say, and the Authority obliges. They seem very pleased with Orton on the way to the ring and Stephanie brags about how awesome he was last night. Orton talks about HHH and Stephanie lied about the interference.

Stephanie says they set everything up and there was no physical interference just like they said. It was all to motivate Orton you see. That’s not cool with Randy though because he was able to beat Big Show on his own. He’s the face of the WWE and the biggest star in all of wrestling.

This brings out John Cena who thinks there’s more than one champion right now. He talks about the fans being tired of being coddled and thinks we need to find out who the better man is. Orton protests a bit but Cena cuts him off, saying that this match is 11 years in the making, but there’s no way to avoid this any longer. If Orton wants to, let’s get rid of one championship and see who really is better.

HHH and Stephanie like the idea quite a bit and say in three weeks at TLC, they’re going to hang both titles above the ring. It’s going to be John Cena vs. Randy Orton in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. HHH never actually said the titles were on the line but I think that’s implied.

Shield vs. Rey Mysterio/Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Shield jumps the good guys to start and pull Goldust to their corner for an early advantage. Ambrose pounds away but Goldust counters his running dropkick into a catapult to the floor. Goldust uppercuts Dean down and backdrops the now legal Rollins to the floor. Seth springboards into an atomic drop but Reigns comes in with a running clothesline for two as we take a break.

Back with Goldust fighting off Ambrose and making the hot tag to Mysterio. Things immediately speed up as Rey snaps off a headscissors to Rollins, only to have both guys try cross bodies at the same time. Double tags bring in Ambrose and Rhodes with Cody hitting the missile dropkick and an Alabama Slam as everything breaks down. Reigns is sent to the floor but Reigns spears him down. Goldust gets one as well but Cody dropkicks Reigns to the floor. A Disaster Kick sends him to the floor again but Ambrose sneaks in with the bulldog driver to pin Cody at 8:30.

Rating: C+. Very fast paced match here with everyone moving the entire way through. Reigns got his big spears in and the seeds of his face turn continue. Notice that Ambrose got the pin after his finisher, but it was Reigns taking out two of the three opponents. That could come into play later.

You can pick Ziggler vs. Sandow’s stipulations: street fight, lumberjack match or hardcore match.

It’s time for MizTV with special guest NFL legend Michael Strahan. Instead it’s Titus O’Neil in a suit with some of his teeth blacked out ala Strahan’s gap between his teeth. Titus imitates Strahan’s odd way of speaking but Miz wants to know what’s up with the gap. Miz: “That thing is wider than the gap between the Giants and the playoffs.” “Strahan” things that Titus is awesome but here’s the real Strahan to protest.

Strahan doesn’t think the gap humor is very funny but thinks the fans want to have some fun. Tonight there’s going to be a double team main event. It’s going to be Orton/Del Rio vs. John Cena/Big Show. Miz approves of Strahan’s hosting abilities but wants to know if he can hang in the ring. Strahan dosn’t mind the idea of a fight but Titus plays peacekeeper.

Apparently a simple move could put Strahan out of work and wants to know if Michael can handle a hiptoss. Michael blocks the hiptoss pretty easily so Titus takes his jacket off to try his luck. The same thing happens again as the fans are just silent. Miz makes fun of the Giants (Strahan’s old team who are having a terrible season) and gets taken down with ease. There’s a hiptoss for Titus as well to end on a fun moment….I think? The Millions of Dollars dance ensues.

How to download the App to vote for the stipulations.

Big E. Langston/Mark Henry vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Langston starts with Axel but the former Heyman Guys double team Langston down with a spinebuster and splash for two. Ryback gorilla presses him down for two and it’s back to Axel for some stomping. Langston fights up and powers Ryback down, allowing for the double tag off to Henry and Axel. Everything breaks down with the power guys cleaning house. The World’s Strongest Slam ends Axel at 2:32.

We recap the opening segment. JBL flat out says one of them is leaving with both titles. That’s the first official confirmation.

Total Divas vs. Team AJ

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/Natalya/Eva Marie/JoJo

Aksana/AJ Lee/Rosa Mendes/Summer Rae/Kaitlyn/Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox

Yes, seriously and it’s elimination again. Brie starts with Aksana and gets a fast pin off something we missed due to the screen going dark. The Bellas double team Rosa for an elimination and it’s off to Cameron to face Tamina. Snuka easily throws her down so it’s off to Naomi for a double suplex on Tamina followed by some hip shaking. A superkick eliminates Naomi very quickly and it’s off to Cameron with a high cross body.

Tamina easily rolls through into a Samoan drop for the elimination but Natalya comes in to take out the monster. She slams Tamina down and tags in JoJo for the “shocking” pin. Alicia comes in and gets rolled up a few times, only to get caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the elimination. Eva comes in to some insane heel heat before countering a sunset flip out of the corner to Fox for a pin.

Off to Kaitlyn vs. Natalya with the Canadian making Kaitlyn tap out in just a few seconds. It’s AJ/Summer vs. the Bellas/Eva/Natalya and AJ comes in first. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter again but AJ rolls her up for the pin, taking care of that potential challenger. Brie comes in with the Bella Buster and the pin, leaving Summer all alone. Summer realizes she’s outnumbered and starts dancing. Nikki comes in and does the Worm to a pop but Summer completely fails at it. The Bellas won’t let her leave and Nikki grabs a torture rack backbreaker for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: F+. You know my opinion on this already. Just pick a Total Diva to win the title in the big season finale and be done with it already.

Sandow is in the ring to protest having to be in a match selected by the fans. The match is going to be a Hamptons Hardcore Match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

The Hamptons is a VERY rich neighborhood in New York so there are golf clubs and tennis rackets around the ring. Ziggler wears a New York Islanders jersey to suck up to the crowd even more. Various objects are uses to hit both guys, including a trashcan to send Ziggler to the floor. Dolph sends Sandow over the timekeeper’s table as Cole talks about the Mean Street Posse in the Attitude Era. Ziggler puts Sandow in the trashcan and dropkicks him down as we take a break.

Back with Sandow dropping knees to the chest but getting sent into a food cart of some kind. Damien drapes the Islanders jersey over Ziggler for the Wind-Up Elbow for some cheap but decent heat. They head outside where Ziggler gets in a blast from a fire extinguisher before heading back inside. A shot with a broom sets up the Fameass for two on Damien. Ziggler hits a delayed jumping DDT onto a chair for two but Daniem breaks the broom over Ziggler’s back. You’re Welcome onto the trashcan is enough to pin Ziggler at 11:35.

Rating: C. This was fine all things around and I could see them doing several of these over the next few weeks. It’s a simple idea and something different from what they usually do so I can’t complain about it being repetitive. The matches aren’t terrible either, though Zack Ryder must be crying over these.

Trailer for Miz’s new ABC Family movie.

Santino is in the back with Strahan when Erick Rowan comes up with a sheep mask. Strahan puts it on and they stare at each other for awhile. Santino thinks it has something to do with Thanksgiving and suggests some turkey cooking techniques. Another strange segment in a series tonight.

Renee Young brings out Punk and Bryan for a chat. Punk asks Bryan if they survived last night, earning a quick YES. Do they want to take on the Wyatts again with Bray included? YES! Are we in Long Island? YES! Is it weird that we both have microphones and keep shouting answers while Renee doesn’t ask us any questions? YES! What is a better team name: the Goats, the Best and the Beard or the Best Team in the World? Bryan: “….that’s not a yes or no question.” Bryan says they’re ready and asks Punk what time it is. IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME!!! The Wyatts come out and we take a break.

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family

Three on two here. Punk and Rowan get things going with CM firing off kicks to the leg. Bryan comes in and kicks at the ribs like only he can but Rowan comes back with an elbow to the jaw. Off to Harper vs. Punk with CM taking Harper into the corner for some shoulders. Back to Bryan as they work on the other monster’s leg a bit this time. Harper comes back with a hard shot to the face and now it’s time for Bray himself.

Bray blasts Daniel in the jaw and drops him with a headbutt before bringing Rowan back in. Erick misses a big boot in the corner and the hot tag brings Punk in for some kicks and knees to the face. Rowan is knocked to the floor and Punk hits the suicide dive to send him into the barricade. Back in and the Macho Elbow gets two for Punk but Erick counters the GTS by LAUNCHING Punk out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Punk fighting out of a Rowan chinlock. Harper comes in before the comeback though and puts on the Gator Roll into a headlock. Rowan comes in again for some choking but Punk kicks him in the head to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan and Harper with Daniel dropkicking Bray out to the floor.

The FLYING GOAT takes Bray down again as Bryan speeds things way up. Back in and Harper catches Harper in a hurricanrana but Rowan breaks up the pin. Running dropkicks in the corner have the monsters in trouble but Harper hits the Michinoku Driver. Bray comes in for the big brawl and the match is thrown out at about 13:00.

Rating: C. Still good for the most part but nowhere near what last night’s match was. Rowan needs the ring time more than anything else right now so having two tag matches like this is a good thing for him. Bray being in the match helped too but it’s good that he was in small doses here. Fun match to continue the story.

Post match the heroes are laid out and Bryan gets taken away by the Wyatts. Punk goes after them but Shield takes Punk out in a surprise attack. The TripleBomb leaves Punk laying.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi starts fast with some hiptosses to frustrate Miz and things already slow down. Miz bails to the floor but Kofi stops himself from diving after him. Back in and we hit the front facelock on Miz but he counters into a headlock. Kofi fights out with ease and kicks Miz down to set up the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise is blocked as well. The Figure Four doesn’t work and the SOS gets two. Kofi hits a cross body for two but Miz quickly rolls him up for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C-. This was fast paced for the most part but it wasn’t anything close to what they did last night. I’m still not sure what the idea is behind doing the same thing on back to back nights, especially when last night’s match was available for free. Kofi continues to be Kofi and no one cares about the Miz, so everything is the same.

Mick Foley, Dude Love and Mankind sell us stuff.

Some contest winner is here and already has shirts made for his gimmick: the Kosher Butcher. Ok then.

R-Truth is in the ring in street clothes to introduce Xavier Woods, who is being accompanied by the Funkadactyls tonight due a deal with Brodus Clay.

Xavier Woods vs. Heath Slater

Woods starts fast and flips Slater down to the mat before chopping in the corner. Slater avoids a charge in the corner and puts on a chinlock to kill more time. Woods fights up and hits the rolling clothesline followed by Lost in the Woods for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D. They did what they were hoping to do here but it didn’t really change anything at all. Woods is going to be fine in the midcard for awhile but I can’t picture him going much further than that. Then again, that’s not a bad career to have. R-Truth isn’t going to do him much more good though.

The Total Divas hit on Strahan as he signs autographs for them. Eva hits on him but Goldust pops up behind Strahan for his bite thing.

Steve Austin is voted as Rock’s greatest Wrestlemania rival.

Cena and Strahan are cool with each other.

John Cena/Big Show vs. Randy Orton/Alberto Del Rio

Big Show and Del Rio get us going with the giant hitting some of those loud chops of his. Del Rio is thrown to the corner and it’s Orton’s chance at Big Show. More chops put Orton down and an elbow drop crushes him as we take a break. Back with Cena missing a charge into the corner, allowing Del Rio to hit the corner enziguri for two. Orton comes in for a chinlock followed by a Del Rio DDT for two.

Cena gets in a shoulder block and brings in Big Show off the hot tag and house is cleaned. Del Rio comes back with the low superkick to put Big Show down and his eyes look dazed. Big Show falls down off the ropes and Del Rio rakes at his eyes to show how evil he is. Back to Orton who does very little before bringing Del Rio back in for a kick to the head.

Remember that Big Show was punted last night. The giant tries to tag Orton and the doctor comes in to check on him. Big Show says he’s ok so Orton takes him down with a DDT. Another punt is countered by a spear and there’s the hot tag to Cena. House is cleaned, armbreaker is countered, Del Rio is tapping at 15:33.

Rating: D+. This was all about Big Show, which is dumb given the match that’s coming. We needed a big showdown here between Cena and Orton and we got a chinlock instead. The match was nothing to see of note but Big Show’s injury could be interesting going forward. I can’t imagine sitting through Big Show vs. Del Rio though. That just sounds dreadful.

Post match Cena beats up Del Rio a bit more but Orton lays him out with the title. Orton poses with both belts to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of those shows where what was good was good but what was bad was bad. They felt like they were really rushing through this show though, packing in as much stuff as they could into three hours. I’m not a fan of having another PPV in three weeks but I have a hard time the title is going to be unified at TLC three weeks after the story is set up. That’s fast even for WWE standards. The Strahan stuff could have been MUCH worse but it wasn’t anything of note at all. If you cut out the boring stuff on this, it’s a good show but as it is, it’s just passable.

Results

Shield b. Rey Mysterio/Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Bulldog driver to Rhodes

Mark Henry/Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – World’s Strongest Slam to Axel

Total Divas b. Team AJ – Torture Rack backbreaker to Summer Rae

Damien Sandow b. Dolph Ziggler – You’re Welcome onto a trashcan

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family went to a double disqualification when everyone brawled in the ring

Xavier Woods b. Heath Slater – Lost in the Woods

John Cena/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/Randy Orton – STF to Del Rio

 

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In a TLC match.  There’s a catch though.HHH said they’re taking both belts and putting them above the ring.  That leaves two possible outs:

 

1. He never said the titles were on the line.  It was heavily implied but he never flat out said it.

2. It means one person could pull down one belt and the other pull down the second, keeping two champions.

Survivor Series 2013
Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is one of those shows that hasn’t had the best build but doesn’t look that bad when you look at it. The main events are Cena defending against Del Rio in a match few people are interested in and Big Show challenging Orton in a match even fewer were asking for. Other than that there’s a big tag team Survivor Series match and Punk/Bryan vs. the Wyatts. In other words, it should be a decent show but the interest just isn’t there. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz turned on Kofi in a tag match on Raw to set this up. He offers a handshake to start but Kofi is too smart for that. We get a surprisingly fast start with Kofi trying to get a grip on Miz but settling for a rollup for two. They trade about three rollups each for three in a very nice chain wrestling sequence until we reach a stalemate. Miz goes for the Figure Four but has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi sends him to the floor for a nice dive and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock before getting two off a cross body.

Kingston pounds away in the corner but Miz sneaks underneath him and scores with a big boot to the face. Kofi fights out and hits a double stomp to the chest followed by some nice dropkicks. The Boom Drop looks to set up Trouble In Paradise but Miz ducks, only to get caught in the SOS for two. Another Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Kofi’s high cross body gets the same. Two low knees to the face/chest put Miz down but he ducks the third and grabs a rollup for the pin at 8:40.

Rating: B-. This was one of the better opening matches they’ve had in a long time. The reversal sequences were very fast paced and other than a few moments here and there the action barely stopped. Kofi losing here doesn’t hurt him at all and Miz gets a win to help boost his heel turn. Everybody wins. Well except Kofi but you get the idea.

The opening video talks about how survival is a must before transitioning to your usual hype video for the world title matches. Nothing special.

Rey Mysterio/Usos/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Shield

Elimination rules of course. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary. Colter does his usual routine before the match before attempting to twerk because what would a wrestling show be without that? Cody and Ambrose get things going as this is the Shield’s debut anniversary. They trade waistlocks to start but Cody takes over with some right hands, only to have Ambrose pound away in the corner. Rhodes comes back with even more punches as Cole tells us that Friday is Lawler, Colter and JBL’s birthday. Ambrose pounds away in the corner but gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Cody to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Everything breaks down with the Usos cleaning house and hitting dives to take out all of their opponents. We settle down with Goldust vs. Rollins but it’s quickly off to Swagger to drive Goldust into the corner. Jack takes him down and Cesaro comes in with a knee drop for two. Cole messes up his history by saying Andre the Giant was the sole survivor of the first Survivor Series match (that would be the main event or the fourth Survivor Series match ever).

Goldust gets a backslide for two on Cesaro and scores with a powerslam. A jawbreaker puts both guys down but Cesaro is able to tag first. Swagger comes in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing for the hot tag off to Mysterio. He easily takes Swagger down to set up the 619 and it’s a superkick from Jimmy followed by the Superfly Splash from Jey to eliminate Swagger.

Cesaro immediately comes in with an uppercut to Jey to set up the Cesaro Swing. The fans count along with the swings but it’s only 15 revolutions. Jimmy comes in without a tag and gets a swing of his own 19 revolution swing. Cody gets the tag and scores with a sunset flip out of nowhere for the elimination, leaving us with Rollins/Reigns vs. all five members of the other team.

Reigns comes in to work on Cody’s arm but it’s off to Jey instead. Roman easily tags him into the Shield corner and the two remaining members take over with the alternating tags. Rollins comes in with a top rope fist to Jey’s jaw and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and backdrops Rollins over the top rope, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. A Samoan Drop gets two on Reigns and the running Umaga attack in the corner keeps him in trouble. Jimmy goes up top but has to headbutt Reigns down. He jumps down but the spear is enough for a quick elimination.

Cody comes in with a missile dropkick followed by the moonsault press for two on Rollins. Cross Rhodes connects but Reigns made a blind tag, allowing him to spear Cody in half for the elimination, leaving us at 3-2. Jey comes in and takes Reigns to the floor, sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Rollins makes a quick tag to set up the Black Out (running one foot curb stomp) to eliminate Jey, leaving us with Reigns/Rollins vs. Goldust/Mysterio.

It’s Rey vs. Rollins with Mysterio getting in a quick dropkick, only to go up top and get caught in the Tree of Woe. Back to Reigns who sends Mysterio out to the floor but Rey makes it back in at 9. Reigns’ spear goes into the post by mistake but Rollins knocks Goldust to the floor to prevent the hot tag. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere to get rid of Rollins and make it 2-1.

Rollins stomps on Mysterio a bit before leaving, giving Roman a big advantage. Rey slides through Reigns’ legs and catches him with an enziguri before sending him into the corner with a drop toehold. There’s the hot tag to Goldust who gets two off a spinebuster. He pounds down right hands to Roman in the corner before a powerslam gets two. Reigns comes right back by countering the bulldog into a spear and it’s one on one. Rey tries the 619 but gets speared in half as well, giving Reigns his star making performance with his fourth elimination for the pin at 23:30.

Rating: B-. Total star making performance by Reigns here as he was completely unstoppable out there. Save for a meaningless fall over an Uso, Reigns literally got every elimination for his team. From the beginning I’ve said Reigns was the star of the team and if this isn’t proof of that, I’m not sure what is.

Orton interrupts an Authority meeting and wants to make sure they’re all on the same page to start. The Authority talks down to him before telling him to go prove his worth on his own.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

This is the rematch from when Axel lost the title on Monday. Axel grabs a headlock to start but Langston easily powers out. They trade leapfrogs until Langston runs him over with ease. Axel sends him to the apron and forearms Langston down to the floor for his first advantage.

The fans chant You Can’t Wrestle, presumably at Axel, showing that Boston fans aren’t that bright. Axel hits a Hennig neck snap and puts on a chinlock only to have Langston power out and suplex Axel down. There’s the Warrior Splash but Axel kicks the knee and gets two off a PerfectPlex. Not that it matters as Big E. grabs Curtis for the Big Ending to retain at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Well at least it was short. This was one of the least important title matches I can think of in a long time as I don’t even think Axel believed he was taking the title here. Nothing to see here and basically it was an extended squash for Langston. That’s all it should have been too.

Post match Langston cuts a promo that would make Mick Foley proud, mentioning Boston three times in about 20 seconds.

AJ gives a semi-maniacal speech to her teammates which they take as her saying she’s better than them. AJ says yeah she’s better because they’re just here because they’re not good enough to be on Total Divas. The promo basically buries the entire division by pointing out how worthless all of them are. Rebellion is imminent even though AJ gets a great line: “Get your own show by stealing this one.”

Team AJ vs. Total Divas

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Kaitlyn/Aksana

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/JoJo/Eva Marie/Natalya

The Total Divas come out in a big line to the show’s theme song because they’re SO close on that show. Naomi starts with Alicia and rolls her up for a pin in just over a minute. Rosa avoids a Rear View but gets caught in a double suplex by the Funkadactyls. Mendes comes back with a quick kick to the face to eliminate Cameron, only to be taken out by a Bella Buster from Naomi.

It’s 6-5 now and here’s Summer to dance a bit. Nikki does the Worm and we’re in a dance off. Another Bella Buster gets rid of Summer and it’s time for Eva Marie who is booed out of the building. Kaitlyn only needs the gutbuster to get rid of Eva and it’s off to Naomi again. Another gutbuster takes Naomi out as we aren’t even five minutes into the match. Brie avoids a spear from Kaitlyn and takes her out with a missile dropkick.

Aksana comes in and pins Brie (huh?) after an AJ cheap shot and a spinebuster. Nikki comes in and puts Aksana in a Torture Rack backbreaker for a pin. I’m not skipping anything between these falls by the way. Tamina headbutts Nikki down a few times but the Bella comes back with an enziguri. Natalya was taken down by something the camera missed so it’s off to JoJo vs. Tamina.

Snuka toys with her but gets rolled up for two, only to kick JoJo in the face. There’s a Samoan drop for no cover because AJ wants and gets the pin. Natalya is driven into the corner by Tamina but the monster misses a charge and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. AJ tries a save but can’t get there in time and Tamina taps. Natalya reverses a quick AJ rollup into the Sharpshooter for the submission, leaving her and Nikki as the survivors at 11:30.

Rating: D-. Other than their looks, nothing was good about this. The whole thing was a way to show us that Total Divas are AWESOME while making it clear that most of them are models who look good in little outfits but have no business EVER being in a ring. AJ continues to be exactly right about everything she says but WWE has decided that the reality chicks are the heroes, no matter what.

Orton tries to get Charles Robinson on his side to no avail.

Expert panel looks to talk a bit but Ryback cuts them off. He says he’s the talent here and issues an open challenge to anyone on the roster. Here’s his answer.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Henry is shaved bald now and shoves Ryback around with ease. Ryback is thrown around again but gets taken down by a shot to the knee. Henry shoves Ryback to the floor for a six count but Ryback comes back in with a headbutt. Some JYD all fours headbutts get two for Henry but Ryback takes the knee out again. We hit the chinlock on Mark before he fights up with relative ease. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Ryback spinebusters him down. The Meathook is countered with something resembling a cross body and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. This was as stereotypical of a power match as you could have ever asked for. Henry didn’t look good here and was way too aloof out there rather than being the mosnter that got him over for good. Ryback is desperately in need of a change after all these losses he’s suffered in the last year.

Now the panel talks a bit.

We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Nothing special to say here: Cena won the title last month and this is the rematch. Cena opts for no arm brace.

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a waistlock which gets him nowhere so Del Rio puts on a headlock to take him down to the mat. Del Rio fights free and gets two off a snap suplex before going to an armbar. They head outside for a bit with Cena going shoulder first into the steps. Back in and a top rope forearm to Cena’s shoulder gets two and we hit the armbar again. This is a really slow pace so far with Del Rio talking a lot of trash and not following up on most of his offense.

Cena starts a comeback but misses a shoulder block to keep things right where they have been all match. They head outside again with Cena being sent into the steps again, allowing Del Rio to do You Can’t See Me. Back inside and we hit the armbar again as we’re somehow approaching ten minutes into this match. Cena tries a comeback with his finishing sequence but gets caught in the Backstabber for two.

Del Rio goes up top again but gets dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down again. Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up again by a thumb to the eye and Alberto gets two off a DDT. Alberto is sent to the floor and has to dive in to beat the count. Cena does the finishing sequence at triple speed but the AA is countered into a German suplex for two but the corner enziguri misses.

The STF is countered so Cena grabs a tornado DDT for another near fall. Del Rio takes him down again and stands around a lot before putting John in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere as Cena avoids a charge to send Del Rio into the post. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the STF is broken by a rope. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two and a neckbreaker from Cena gets the same. Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere but Cena counters into a powerbomb to escape. Another armbreaker is countered and the AA retains Cena’s title at 18:45.

Rating: D+. The lack of drama crippled this one for me. There was zero doubt for me as to who was going to win and the only question was whether it would be the AA or the STF. Del Rio just isn’t a threat to Cena at all and he never has been. Why WWE insists on going with that match time after time is beyond me. Put Alberto against Langston for awhile to give Big E. a rub or whatever, but keep him away from Cena.

Santino and R-Truth play with toys. Los Matadores, Fandango and JOHNNY ACE come in for some unfunny comedy. Ok Ace was funny at least.

We recap the Wyatts vs. Punk/Bryan. Not much to this one either. The good guys are heroes and that’s not cool with Bray. He’s sent his monsters to show the world that there are no heroes.

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

Before the match Bray talks about Sister Abigail telling him how tough Bryan and Punk would be. They’re the reapers though, so Punk and Bryan should run. Bryan and Rowan get things going with Daniel (actually with a shorter beard here) firing off kicks to the leg. Rowan easily throws him down but Daniel takes him into the corner for a tag off to Punk which doesn’t get a huge reaction.

Harper comes in and charges into a boot in the corner, only to rip away at Punk’s face and chop him down. Back to Rowan for a bearhug but Punk fights out very quickly. Punk escapes a suplex and Bryan comes in to try a double suplex, only to have Rowan suplex both guys down. Bryan drives Rowan into the corner for some double kicks to the ribs to put Erick down. The crowd doesn’t seem interested in this match.

Back to Harper who is taken into the hero corner as well before a double dropkick puts both guys down. Bryan fires off the kicks and plays Bret to Punk’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack. Rowan tries to come in and the distraction lets Harper kick Punk’s head off for two. Rowan cranks on Punk’s neck for a bit before getting two off a backbreaker. Back to Harper for an uppercut followed by a quickly released Gator Roll. Rowan gets taught talking to the sheep mask which Cole finds strange for some reason.

Harper gets two off a Michinoku Driver before it’s back to Erick for some more neck cranking. Punk gets a boot up in the corner to stagger Rowan and a running DDT puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan to face Harper and Daniel starts up his usual sequence. Luke gets low bridged to the floor and the FLYING GOAT takes Harper out, possibly injuring the monster’s knee.

A missile dropkick gets two and there are the YES Kicks. The running dropkick in the corner staggers the big man but Harper counters a top rope hurricanrana into a super sitout powerbomb for two. AWESOME spot there. The fans think this is awesome as Bray yells at the Family. Rowan splashes Bryan for two and the second heat segment begins. Harper comes in with some forearms to the back but Punk kicks him in the back of the head to give Bryan a breather.

There’s the hot tag off to Punk who takes Harper down but he dives on Rowan and Bray instead of Luke. Now the Macho Elbow connects on Harper for two and everything breaks down. The running knee takes Rowan down and Punk counters the discus lariat into the GTS for the pin on Harper at 16:55.

Rating: B. This was the old school tag team formula and it worked perfectly well. Punk and Bryan are good choices for matches like this and there’s nothing wrong with the Wyatts getting pinned. The money in the feud is Bray in the ring with either of them and that’s certainly coming in the future. Good stuff here.

Bray teases getting in but stays on the floor.

Cena is talking to the Authority about something when Orton comes in to glare at them. The Viper sounds jealous.

We recap Big Show vs. Randy Orton. Orton is supposed to be the face of the WWE but the Authority isn’t very confident in him. Big Show has weaseled his way into a title match tonight due to the threat of a lawsuit which could take over the entire company because that’s what heroes do. They’ve been brawling for a few weeks and Big Show looks dominant while Orton has no backup tonight. Of course he doesn’t.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Big Show

Orton is defending and is on the floor about a second after the bell rings. He trips getting back inside to show how confused he is tonight and gets chopped LOUDLY by Big Show. More slow offense sets up more chops by Big Show but Orton comes back with a dropkick and some kicks to the head. A knee drop gets two for the champion and we hit a sleeper. Big Show loudly says “two clotheslines” before hitting two clotheslines and calling for the chokeslam, sending Orton running to the floor.

Back in and Big Show slams him down before going to the top rope, only to be crotched on the top rope. The Elevated DDT out of the corner puts Big Show down and Orton poses a lot. Show grabs a chokeslam out of nowhere for two and loads up the KO punch but Orton bails to the floor. The big man follows him to the floor and throws Orton at the ropes, taking out the referee in the process. Randy finds a chair but gets it slapped out of his hands before they go into the crowd.

That goes nowhere so they head back to ringside where Orton tries the Elevated DDT again, only to have Show escape and hit the KO punch. Back inside and the Authority comes out for a distraction, allowing Orton to hit a quick RKO. The annoying crowd chants for Daniel Bryan as Orton hits the Punt to retain at 11:10.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Unfortunately, it was exactly what most people were expecting. Big Show was trying but there’s only so much you can do when Orton spends a third of an eleven minute match running, not counting the interference at the end. Horrid main event but I guess it sets up HHH vs. Big Show. Uh….yay.

Post match here’s Cena to hold up the World Heavyweight Championship while Orton holds up the WWE Championship. That’s Wrestlemania it would seem.

Overall Rating: D+. This show had its moments but they totally lost me around the time of the Henry match. The card was about the same as it felt like it was going to be with a few good matches but little to care about in the main event scenes. Orton vs. Big Show was as nothing of a match as it could have been and the interference was just predictable. This show just didn’t feel necessary though it wasn’t the worst effort ever.

Results

Shield/Real Americans b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos – Spear to Mysterio

Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending.

Total Divas b. Team AJ – Sharpshooter to AJ

Mark Henry b. Ryback – World’s Strongest Slam

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment

Daniel Bryan/CM Punk b. Wyatt Family – GTS to Harper

Randy Orton b. Big Show – Punt Kick

 

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Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

I don’t remember much about this show and I think that says a lot about it. The main event is a triple threat with Punk defending against Cena and Ryback because WWE loves their three way matches. The original main event was going to be Team Punk vs. Team Foley in a Survivor Series match but WWE realized no one would pay to see that, so the new main events were made. Team Punk was replaced by Team Ziggler, despite the two of them having no real animosity at all. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: 3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

It’s Slater and Mahal here. Ryder starts with Mahal as Matt Striker rips Ryder on commentary. Mahal takes him down with a shoulder block but gets caught in an armdrag. Off to Santino who works on a headlock before it’s off to Slater for another armdrag. Ryder comes back in as the announcers talk about Halloween a good three weeks since it’s been over. McIntyre holds Slater’s belt from the floor to avoids Santino’s dropkick. Tag off to the fun one of the Band (meaning Mahal if that’s not clear) who gets two off a knee drop.

Back to Slater for some shots in the corner but he gives up the hot tag to Santino for all his usual antics. Heath punches him down and brings Jinder in again for some knee drops off the ropes. Santino misses a double clothesline which gives Slater another near fall. The Band stays on Marella but he backdrops Mahal down, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Ryder. The Broski Boot connects and everything breaks down. A Rough Ryder connects on Slater but the legal Mahal sneaks in with a full nelson slam for the pin on Zack.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see. It isn’t a bad match or anything but how good can a match be when 3MB is getting a clean pin? That’s not exactly a match that’s going to light the world on fire. Also, you’re trying to get a crowd going for a show, you have Santino Marella, and he doesn’t get the hot tag? Really?

The opening video talks about the history that has taken place at this show, ranging from Undertaker and Rock debuting, Montreal, and Rock and Cena teaming up for the first time ever. We then shift over to the main event hype videos you would expect, focusing on the world title matches and….nothing else. Seriously Foley vs. Ziggler isn’t mentioned here at all. There is a nice idea of Punk surviving as champion at various amounts of days into his reign.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio

Tensai, Primo, Epico, Prime Time Players

This is a bonus match to fill out the card. Nothing wrong with that at all. Apparently this is the debut of the three man booth so we’re getting a bit of history here. Why anyone would care about that is beyond me but I need something to talk about during these long entrances. This was also back when Tensai was all evil but was a total joke by this point, just as he had been all along. If nothing else we get to see Rosa Mendes with black hair and those hips of hers.

Kidd works on Epico’s arm to start before taking him down into a headlock. Epico is sent to the floor but manages to send Kidd face first into the apron to take over but it’s quickly off to Gabriel. A sunset flip gets two for Justin and he cranks on Epico’s arm as well. Back to Kidd for a headscissors before putting on another armbar. That doesn’t last long as Mysterio comes in with a low dropkick for two.

Young gets the tag and is almost immediately sent face first into the middle buckle, allowing for a tag off to Sin Cara. The masked men hit a combination wheelbarrow slam/X-Factor for two on Young, sending him over to the corner for a tag off to Primo. Cara hits a quick cross body for two and a sunset flip gets the same as this is a very fast paced match. Tensai gets the tag and runs over Cara with a few slams as JBL lists off Tensai’s Japanese accomplishments.

Off to Titus as Sin Cara is in a lot of trouble. Another slam puts Sin down and it’s off to Primo for a camel clutch. Tensai comes back in to work over the downed Cara but goes after the rest of the team instead of covering. Sin Cara gets up for an enziguri, allowing the hot tag to Clay. Brodus cleans house and the Players, Epico and Primo are sent to the floor. Kidd and Gabriel hit stereo dives to take out the cousins followed by Asai moonsaults from Cara and Mysterio to take out the Players. Awesome sequence.

The monsters are going at it back inside and Clay botches his high collar suplex, making it into more of a lifting downward spiral. Tensai avoids a charge in the corner and shoulders Brodus down, setting up a backsplash for the elimination. Gabriel comes in with some kicks to the side but gets taken down by a big shoulder block. Off to Titus for an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker. Back to Tensai for two off a backsplash but he misses a second one, allowing Gabriel to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Titus comes in to stomp on the spent Gabriel before it’s back to Epico for a chinlock. Epico misses some elbow drops, allowing Gabriel to make the tag off to Tyson. Kidd heads to the apron but gets sent to the floor where Primo gets in a cheap shot. Back inside with Primo now legal but getting forearmed in the face. Cole says Primo has been a general out there. I’d go more like a lieutenant at best from what I’ve seen.

Back to Titus who crotches himself off a missed big boot, allowing Tyson to kick him in the side of the head, setting up a rolling cradle for the pin and an elimination. Young comes in to keep the pressure on Kidd before it’s back to Epico for some rolling belly to back suplexes. Not that they matter though as Kidd sweeps the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter to get rid of Epico. Cole of course talks about Montreal.

Primo comes in now but gets elbowed in the ribs for his efforts. He comes back with a quick belly to back suplex, only to go up top and dive into a dropkick to the ribs. The hot tag brings in Mysterio who rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face for two. A seated senton looks to set up the 619 but Primo moves to the side, only to get caught in La Majistral for the pin. Darren Young is left all alone and it’s finishers a go-go until Rey finishes him with a top rope splash for the win.

Rating: C. The winners were never really in doubt but this was the right way to get a show going. The fast paced stuff worked very well here with all of the smaller guys hitting their dives to wake the crowd up and give them a fun match. It’s no masterpiece or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. A little trivia for you: that loss makes Tensai 0-5 at Survivor Series, which I’m pretty sure is the worst record ever.

Kaitlyn is on her way to the ring when someone in black attacks her. Kaitlyn fights back to reveal a blonde wig which falls off as the attacker leaves. Eve pops up and acts all shocked even though she’s evil at the moment. I think the attacker wound up being Aksana.

Divas Title: Katilyn vs. Eve Torres

Eve is defending. Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away in the corner before sending Eve out to the floor. The champion is sent into the barricade and apron before heading back inside for some hair pulling. Eve kicks her in the ribs and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the mat over and over for two. Off to the corner for some choking and an elbow to the back gets two on Kaitlyn.

Eve puts on a figure four choke before clotheslining Kaitlyn down for no cover. Kaitlyn pops back up to break up the moonsault, sending Eve out to the floor. Back in and Eve is tossed around by the hair followed by a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Eve comes right back by sweeping Kaitlyn’s legs out and finishing her with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D. As is the case with the Divas around this time, there isn’t much to brag about other than the girls looked good in their outfits. Kaitlyn just wasn’t that good in the ring and hasn’t gotten much better ever since. Eve was good but her character had hit a ceiling around this time. It’s no surprise she was gone soon after this.

Team Ziggler argues over who is the leader.

Team Foley argues over who will survive. Foley unites them in a BANG BANG chant, save for Orton. Foley: “Randy?” Orton: “I hate you.” Foley: “He’s ready.”

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro is defending and asks why Americans are thankful. The only thing he can think of is how great of a champion he is. Truth gets a quick rollup, sunset flip and rolling cradle for two each before thrusting his hips a bit. Cesaro comes back with a headbutt and a clothesline before pounding away on Truth in the corner. Off to an armbar but a USA chant gets Truth to his feet. The champion shoulders him in the corner and puts on a body vice to keep Truth down again.

A knee to the ribs gets two as JBL lists off some facts about Cesaro’s rugby career. Cole brushes him off and starts listing off rugby facts of his own, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about Cole not listening and asking if Cole is a parrot. The gutwrench suplex gets two for Cesaro and an uppercut gets the same. Back to the body vice for a bit before Truth makes his comeback. Some clotheslines take Cesaro down and a spinning kick to the face gets two. A front suplex gets the same for Truth but the ax kick misses and Cesaro Neutralizes him to retain.

Rating: D. Other than JBL’s rant there was nothing to pay attention to here. These kind of title defenses tend to be very dull as someone like Truth isn’t going to take the title off Cesaro. For the life of me I don’t get why Cesaro isn’t a bigger deal than he is today. The guy has everything you would need but he doesn’t get that big push.

Ad for TLC, set up like an ad for David Otunga’s law offices.

We get a clip from Raw of voicemails from AJ, saying that she wants to end her relationship with Cena, but she loses control when she sees him. AJ claims that Ziggler hacked her phone and set those up. Ziggler makes fun of Cena’s, ahem, performance issues, drawing out Cena as backup. AJ slapped Ziggler down without Cena doing a thing.

Here’s AJ with some evidence against someone for something. Over the last month Vickie has been trying to prove that AJ is having an affair with Cena (remember that they’re both single at this point) which AJ thinks means Vickie has something to hide. This brings out Vickie, ranting as always about how much power she has and how she’s being disrespected.

AJ has pictures of Vickie eating with various wrestling personalities and this is SCANDALOUS! I’ve spent a long time trying to block this storyline out of my head but now I’m remembering how dumb it was. Vickie is shown in a one piece leopard swimsuit dancing with Brodus and Vickie shouts a lot. Slapping is threatened but they both get fired for touching the other, so here’s Tamina Snuka to destroy AJ on Vickie’s behalf. This story would keep going for WEEKS.

Promo for the Attitude Era DVD. Just writing that is so wrong.

Paul Heyman talks about how Punk is now #8 on the all time list for longest title reign and will be rising up the ranks even further after tonight because he’s the best in the world. Heyman is just awesome at promoting his guys.

We recap Big Show vs. Sheamus. Not much of a story here other than they had a war at HIAC with both guys kicking out of each others’ finishers in a great match. Tonight is a rematch.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Big Show

It’s another brawl to start with Sheamus pounding away but Big Show gets in a few shots of his own to take over. The big chop misses in the corner and Sheamus gets in some more shots to little avail. Finally Sheamus wakes up and goes after the knees before tying Show up in the rpes for the forearms to the chest. Big Show escapes to the floor but Sheamus dives off the apron to get in even more right hands to the head.

Back in and Sheamus goes up top but Big Show spears him out of the air in a cool looking crash. They head outside again with Show sending Sheamus into the steps. Sheamus is thrown back in and can barely move. Big Show steps on Sheamus’ ribs a few times as the match has slowed way down. A huge elbow drop gets two and we hit the nerve hold. Sheamus fights up quickly but walks into a side slam for two as the match stays in slow motion. Since the slams aren’t working, Show just stands on Sheamus’ head. Sheamus fights up and grabs a sleeper but Big Show throws him off.

Big Show is getting winded so Sheamus pounds away as much as he can, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. The Final Cut gets two and Show goes to the middle rope, only to be caught in an electric chair of all things for two. That was rather awesome indeed. They slug it out from their knees and Sheamus takes over, knocking Show down with a running ax handle.

The Brogue Kick and chokeslam are countered and Sheamus gets two off White Noise. Now the fans are getting into this again. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick again but takes out the referee by mistake. Four people immediately come out to check on the referee as the replay shows the champion pulling him in the way. Big Show knocks out Sheamus and one of the referees counts a pin to end the match out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match was slow for the most part and the ending hurts it even worse. This took all the good stuff out of the HIAC match and turned it into a dull imitation. This needed to be two monsters firing bombs at each other until neither guy could get up but instead it was your usual Big Show match at about 4 miles per hour.

Post match Show is disqualified and Sheamus lays the thirty one chair shots on him. I never remembered it being that many and that’s because it’s more like 18 and a Brogue Kick. Big Show crawls to the back as WE WANT ZIGGLER chants are ignored.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga, Damien Sandow, Wade Barrett

The Miz, Kofi Kingston, HELL NO, Randy Orton

So as I said, it was supposed to be Punk vs. Foley over old school vs. new school, but Punk was put in the main event and Ziggler was picked despite having no issue with Foley. The match was originally Punk/Sandow/Miz/Del Rio/Rhodes, but Cody got hurt and Miz felt he didn’t deserve the spot, so Miz was replaced by Barrett and Cody was replaced by Otunga. Ryback was originally on Team Foley but was moved to the main event and replaced by Miz in a Raw poll. As you can see, the match is a huge mess and almost no one was interested in it for the most part. HELL NO have the tag belts and Kofi is Intercontinental Champion of course.

Kofi grabs a quick rollup for two on Otunga to start. David avoids a quick Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by a dive on the floor. Otunga’s trunks are pulled up a bit as Bryan comes in with his kicks. Off to Sandow for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow gets two. Bryan fights out of a chinlock and fires off the kicks to the chest to send Sandow out to the floor. Damien says good luck and walks out but Kane will have none of that. Back in and Bryan’s big kick to the head sets up a chokeslam for a fast elimination.

The tag champions get in an argument for no apparent reason, allowing Ziggler to hit a quick Zig Zag on Kane for the pin. That makes the move look strong if nothing else. Orton and Miz get in a quick fight for some reason but Randy catches a sneaky Ziggler in the slingshot suplex for two. Off to Kofi for the matchup that will not die with Ziggler being launched face first into the buckle for two. Back to Bryan who gets poked in the eye, allowing Dolph to tag in Barrett.

Bryan shouts NO a lot but misses a charge into the corner, setting up Barrett’s big boot in the ropes. Otunga comes in again and the YES Lock goes on almost immediately for the submission. It’s 4-3 with Foley in the lead as Del Rio comes in with a chinlock on Bryan. Back up and Del Rio misses a charge into the corner, allowing Bryan to kick him out to the floor. Kofi gets the not very hot tag and kicks Del Rio down, setting up the Boom Drop for no cover. Instead Ziggler distracts Kofi so Trouble in Paradise misses, but Kofi runs up the corner for a cross body and two.

Wade comes right back with the Bull Hammer for a quick pin, getting us down to 3-3 (Orton/Miz/Bryan vs. Barrett/Ziggler/Del Rio). Orton comes in right away and suplexes Barrett down before cranking on the arm. Miz doesn’t seem interested in a tag but Bryan is glad to come in and work on an arm. A middle rope dropkick gets two and Bryan snaps off even more kicks. Barrett avoids a big one and tags in Del Rio but Alberto has to fight out of a quick YES Lock attempt.

Alberto tries a running enziguri in the corner but hits the arm instead, setting up the cross armbreaker for the elimination. Can you imagine the reaction if that happened today? Miz comes in for the first time and scores with some left hands before it’s back to Orton for his traditional stuff. Back to Ziggler who takes over on Randy with a big elbow followed by a chinlock. Orton fights up and launches Ziggler into the air in a nice crash.

A double tag brings in Barrett and Miz with the American connecting with the corner clothesline. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a pumphandle attempt (which isn’t the Wasteland Cole) but Miz escapes into the Finale for the elimination to tie us up at two. Del Rio comes in next but charges into a DDT for two. Alberto grabs a German suplex for two but gets pulled off the middle rope in a crash. Miz misses the corner clothesline and gets enziguried for an elimination.

That leaves Orton vs. Ziggler/Del Rio with Alberto starting for his pair. Orton fires off some punches but gets caught by a cheap shot, allowing Ziggler to come in and slow things down. Alberto is back in very quickly with a double stomp to the ribs but goes up top, only to dive into a dropkick. Ricardo trips up Orton, earning him Socko down the throat. Ziggler accidentally dropkicks Del Rio and gets sent into the post. A quick RKO takes out Alberto and it’s one on one now with Orton having that evil look in his eyes.

Orton immediately goes into RKO mode but Ziggler holds the ropes and hits the Zig Zag for a quick near fall. So it can beat Kane after he’s taken no damage at all but Orton kicks out at two after twenty minutes? Score one for the Viper. The Fameasser misses and Orton hits the Elevated DDT despite bleeding from the mouth a bit. Orton loads up the Punt like a schnook though and walks into a superkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Here’s the problem again: the match isn’t bad but there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting each other. Yeah they’ve all feuded with each other at some point in the past, but there’s nothing going on setting up this match. It’s really just ten guys fighting each other with a minor feud here or there. There was no reason to care about this match and that’s exactly how the match felt. Decent match, but the absence of emotion held it back.

Tout continues to annoy me a year after it stopped being a thing.

We recap the main event. Punk has been champion for a year almost to the day, Ryback got screwed over by Brad Maddox inside the Cell and Cena gave Ryback his spot in the Cell due to injury. The solution? TRIPLE THREAT OF COURSE!!!

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both guys. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena is all like “dude, my arch nemesis” and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fallaway slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.

Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first though but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.

Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Obviously the three guys were Reign/Ambrose/Rollins which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he hasn’t recovered yet. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.

Overall Rating: D. Man alive has time been cruel to this show. Watching it live there was some drama, but looking back you have two LONG Survivor Series matches with no real story behind them and two screwjob finishes in title matches. Shield would become a bigger deal but no one knew that at this point. This was a “tune into Raw tomorrow night” show and that’s not good for the Survivor Series.

Ratings Comparison

3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Original:

Redo: D+

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Original: B-

Redo: C

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Original: D-

Redo: D

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Original: D

Redo: D

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team Foley vs. Team Ziggler

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ryback vs. John Cena vs. CM Punk

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same down the line. It sucked back then and it sucked now. I actually watched most of this show late and while still tired from a flight the first time around but apparently it had more problems than that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/21/survivor-series-2012-a-filler-ppv-disguised-as-a-major-show/

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