I kid you not.During his opening promo he did a dance, during which he said he was going to shake, so he shook his hips. Then he said he was going to kick a little bit, so he kicked his foot up. Then he slid his foot around the mat and said “maybe a little heel turn too?”
Yeah he’s still a face but the joke was funny.
Wrestlemania XXIX
Date: April 7, 2013
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 80,676
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
We have arrived at the biggest night of the year. The main events is John Cena vs. The Rock II for the WWE Championship. If that isn’t enough for you to get into this, we also have Brock vs. HHH II, Undertaker vs. Punk and Del Rio vs. Swagger for the Smackdown Title. The show looks great, the matches look good, the WWE is going home, and it’s Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett
Miz is challenging. This match was set up because both guys had movies out at the same time but that has since been dropped. Miz beat Barrett on Raw a few weeks ago as well. Miz escapes a belly to back suplex to start and gets two off a quick sunset flip. Barrett gets in a kick in the corner to take over but Miz blocks the kick in the ropes. The Reality Check gets two for Miz before the Wasteland and Skull Crushing Finale are both countered.
Winds of Change get two for Barrett but the Bull Hammer misses. Miz takes the legs out and puts on the Figure Four but Barrett gets a rope. Wasteland hits this time for two and Wade is frustrated. In a unique counter, Miz trips up Barrett and puts on the Figure Four from the mat for the submission and the title at 4:10.
Rating: D+. What do you want here? It’s a four minute match and not a very good one at that. At the end of the day, Miz isn’t anything special, the match was nothing special, Barrett hasn’t meant anything of note in forever, the title means nothing, and the match was four minutes long. How in the world are they supposed to get anything of note going? The answer is they aren’t, because that’s what a pre-show match is for.
The opening video is about Hurricane Sandy and is narrated by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who talks about New Jersey rising up due to its great spirit.
The National Guard waves a bunch of American flags.
The real opening video talks about growing up and making an impact on the grandest stage of them all. It’s your standard video about making a Wrestlemania moment, but well done.
Much like previous years, there’s a big canopy setup, but this year there’s a Statue of Liberty over the ring.
Shield vs. Sheamus/Big Show/Randy Orton
Surprising choice for an opener. Thankfully Shield doesn’t come down from the upper deck of the arena. Sheamus and Reigns get us going and the pale one pounds away from one corner to the other. This is already longer than Sheamus’ match from last year. A forearm puts Reigns down as does a hard clothesline for two. Off to Orton for the knee drop and some stomping. We get Cole’s first error of the night as he says Orton won the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 24 (he retained).
Reigns gets in some shots to the head and it’s off to Rollins. That goes badly as well for Shield as he gets pounded in the corner and suplexed down. Back to Sheamus but Seth gets in a dropkick to the knee to take him down. Ambrose gets the tag and it’s time for some evil double teaming. Sheamus will have none of that though and powerslam Ambrose down for two. Orton is ready for a tag but Show tags himself in instead. He rips Ambrose’s vest open for the LOUD chop and Dean wants another one. Instead he gets about five in a row and a splash in the corner.
Dean actually comes back and dropkicks the knee out to bring in Rollins. A top rope kick gets two on Show and it’s off to Reigns for some hard shots to Show’s back. Ambrose is back in now, sans all of his vest and shirt. Back to Rollins as Shield is tagging in and out very fast. A running kick to the face gets two for Rollins and it’s back to Roman for the chinlock. Big Show fights up with a belly to back suplex but Rollins takes out Orton to break up the tag. That’s fine with Show though as he brings in Sheamus instead for some fast and hard hitting knees to the chest.
Rollins gets his own vest split open and there are the ten forearms to the chest. Ambrose tags himself in from the apron and there are ten forearms for him as well. The Regal Roll puts Dean down and Sheamus hits one on Rollins as well, this one on top of Ambrose. Reigns breaks up something from Sheamus off the top and everything breaks down. Rollins dives through the ropes at Orton and slams his own head into the barricade. Sheamus is triple teamed in the ring but as Shield loads up the TripleBomb, Show spears them all down for the save.
Ambrose is the only one still in the ring for Shield as Sheamus is crawling to the corner. He reaches for Big Show but Orton tags himself in instead. The powerslam sets up the Elevated DDT and Big Show is ticked off. Orton loads up the RKO on Ambrose but Rollins springboards into the RKO instead. Reigns spears Orton down as Big Show watches from the apron for the pin at 10:34.
Rating: B-. Not as good as I was hoping for here but it was still a good match and a fine opener. This was more about the trio instead of the Shield, which is ok I guess but I’m hoping Shield gets to have their moment later on. The good thing here though is that Reigns got a 100% clean pin on Orton. It wasn’t Shield picking the bones. It was a spear and a pin. That’s a big help for the team and a good sign for them.
Big Show knocks out both of his partners post match.
Video on Rock vs. Cena.
Snooki is here.
Ryback vs. Mark Henry
They stare each other down before colliding. No one goes anywhere so they do it again to the same result. They slug it out with Ryback taking over. Some clotheslines stagger Henry a bit but Henry runs Ryback over with a single clothesline of his own. A powerslam gets one for Mark but Ryback fights back with some right hands. A suplex is blocked by Henry and he puts Ryback on the apron with ease. Henry sends him into the post and clotheslines him out to the floor for good measure.
Back in and Henry pounds away on the back even more to take away the power game from Ryback. We hit an old school bearhug for a bit before Henry throws him to the floor again. Ryback gets back in at nine and it’s back to the bearhug. The bald one finally fights out of it and hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner and there’s the Meat Hook. Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Henry grabs the top rope and falls onto Ryback’s back for the pin at 8:06.
Rating: D. What in the world was that? Henry DESTROYED Ryback here and beat him almost clean in eight minutes. I don’t think there was an injury or anything, but why in the world would you have Ryback lose here? This keeps his long losing streak going for what, eight months now? I don’t get this one at all.
Post match Ryback hits the spinebuster and Shell Shock on Henry. So why did we have the match end that way???
The announcers play with toys and announce a partnership with the Special Olympics.
Some Special Olympians are here with Stephanie McMahon and Governor Christie.
Tag Titles: Big E. Langston/Dolph Ziggler vs. HELL NO
HELL NO is defending. This was set up by Ziggler beating Kane and Bryan in singles matches and wanting a title match as a result. This is also Langston’s debut. We get a funny bit to start with Ziggler kissing AJ to taunt Bryan and getting kicked in the head for a VERY close two ala last year. Ziggler bails to the floor and gets caught with a suicide dive. Back in and Bryan fires off the hard kicks to the chest but the big one to the head misses.
Ziggler dives off to tag in Langston and he gets Kane. Big E. easily catches a charging Kane and hits three straight backbreakers to take over. Kane gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Langston but the chokeslam is easily broken up. Langston runs over Kane and it’s back to Ziggler for some quick choking. Langston comes in again for more shots to Kane’s chest and ribs. He lowers his head though and there’s a DDT from Kane to put Langston down.
Back to Dolph who breaks up a tag to Bryan, only to miss a splash in the corner. Kane’s side slam gets two but the top rope clothesline misses. The Fameasser kind of misses but Bryan comes in for the save anyway. Ziggler jumps into an uppercut from Kane but Langston splashes Kane for the save at two. The Big Ending is broken up and Kane sends Big E. to the floor for the knee from Bryan. The Zig Zag gets two on Kane and Dolph is frustrated. AJ slides in the briefcase but Kane ducks Ziggler’s swing. The chokeslam connects and Kane takes out Langston. The Swan Dive from Bryan retains the titles at 6:30.
Rating: C. My predictions are taking a pounding tonight. I would assume this means Ziggler cashes in tonight, because we should totally buy him as world champion after he loses to Bryan here right? The match was fine, but at this point there’s no need to see HELL NO with the belts anymore. It’s just dull at this point and they stopped being funny a long time ago.
John Cena talks about Make-A-Wish.
Fandango vs. Chris Jericho
Fandango has a troop of dancing girls this time. This is set up because Jericho can’t pronounce Fandango’s name properly. This is also Fandango’s debut. Fandango dances to start and is taken down by Jericho very quickly. The dancer heads to the floor but as soon as he heads back in, Jericho takes him down and pounds away even more. Fandango jumps over Jericho in the corner but walks into a Codebreaker to send him to the floor. A baseball slide sends Fandango to the floor and Jericho hits a big plancha to take him down.
Back in and Jericho wipes the dust off his hands but as he loads up the springboard dropkick, Fandango blasts him in the face with a hard kick. Off to a chinlock as JBL goes off on Fandango for posing too much. Chris fights up pretty quickly and speeds things up before hitting a top rope ax handle. A Thesz Press puts Fandango down as does an enziguri for two. A top rope cross body gets two for Jericho but he gets sent shoulder first into the post to stop his momentum again.
A Downward Spiral puts Jericho down and the guillotine legdrop hits….for two. The Walls are countered and Fandango clotheslines Jericho down. Another guillotine legdrop is broken up but so is Jericho’s superplex bid. The third legdrop attempt misses but the Lionsault misses as well. Jericho tries the Walls but looks to have tweaked his knee. Fandango gets a sloppy small package for the pin at 9:16.
Rating: D. This was REALLY sloppy at the end and it appeared to be botched. Fandango did nothing to impress me here as he only seems to have one big move in the legdrop and that was tried three times in less than ten minutes. That ending looked awkward though so I’m guessing something went wrong.
We look at Miz winning the Intercontinental Title on the pre-show.
Video on Rock being back and various cities his fans come from.
We get a highlight package of Mania moments set to Rocky music on the big screens with all the other lights off. The lights come back up to reveal….Diddy, for the annual music medley.
We recap Swagger vs. Del Rio. Swagger and his manager Zeb Colter don’t like people coming into their country and taking jobs from “people that look like them”. The world champion, Alberto Del Rio, is one of these people. Swagger won the Elimination Chamber match and earned this shot. To make it personal, Swagger broke Alberto’s friend Ricardo Rodriguez’s ankle. The idea is that Del Rio is the kind of immigrant that America was built on, but the fans aren’t really buying him in this role for the most part.
Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger’s entrance is cut off as he and Colter are in the ring after the video package. Colter goes on his usual rant about how awful New York is because of all the non-English languages being spoken. Apparently those foreigners are plotting something. Swagger pounds away to start but Del Rio sends him to the floor for a baseball slide. Alberto pounds on Jack on the floor for a bit before heading inside again. Colter starts distracting the champion immediately and Jack takes over.
A hard clothesline gets two for Swagger and it’s off to an armbar, which Del Rio rolls up for two. Swagger comes back with the Vader Bomb for two but as he tries to wrap the champion’s legs around the post, Alberto pulls Jack’s shoulder into the post. Back in and Swagger charges into a boot to the face and there are some clotheslines from the champion. Both Swagger and Colter get kicked in the face with the actual wrestler getting covered for two as a result.
The armbreaker is countered and Swagger hits a high belly to belly suplex for two. Jack goes after the leg but the Patriot Lock is quickly broken up. The Vader Bomb is broken up as well and Del Rio hits the ten forearms to the back followed by the Backstabber for two. The champion hits a hard German suplex for two but the armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb for two.
There’s another Patriot Lock but as Swagger tries the grapevine, Del Rio slides over into the armbreaker in a sweet counter. Jack powers out of that into the Patriot Lock again but Alberto makes the rope. Another gutwrench powerbomb is countered and Del Rio fires off a kick to the head, only to hurt his ankle even more.
The corner enziguri hits Swagger but Colter puts the foot on the ropes at two. Ricardo goes after Zeb but gets kicked in the ankle. Del Rio and Colter both have a crutch but the distraction lets Swagger deck Alberto. They head back in and there’s the cross armbreaker out of nowhere for the tap out at 10:37. It was as sudden as it sounds.
Rating: C+. That ending came out of nowhere and cut short what was looking to be a good match. Thankfully they kept this a mat based match which is where both of these guys shine. The counters were pretty sweet out there and both guys looked good, but at the end of the day that ending stopped this dead in its tracks, which is a shame.
The National Guard is here.
We recap Punk vs. Undertaker, which is built around the idea of Punk disrespecting the memory of the recently dead Paul Bearer. Punk wants to be the 1 in 20-1, meaning he wants to break the Streak. He stole the urn as well, because that hasn’t been done in about ten years or so.
Undertaker vs. CM Punk
Living Colour plays Punk to the ring live. Heyman and Punk throw the urn around before the match. Punk slaps Taker in the corner to try to tick him off before pounding away back inside. Undertaker launches Punk into the corner but Punk slaps him again. The chokeslam is blocked by a high kick but Taker kicks him in the face to counter. We head to the floor and Taker keeps pounding away before loading up the announce table.
Punk is rammed spine first into the post and there’s the apron legdrop for good measure. Back inside and Taker gets some more open shots in the corner. Old School is broken up and Punk stomps away in the corner. In a solidly evil move, Punk hits Old School of his own followed by a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a kind of keylock by Punk which is easily broken up. Taker slugs him down but misses a running big boot into the corner.
A baseball slide puts Taker on the floor and there’s a Macho ax handle to keep the Dead Man down. Back in and Punk works on the shoulder with some Scott Hall driving shoulder blocks. Taker fires off some right hands but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker for two. Heyman shouts that Punk is getting closer and it’s off to a chinlock. A suplex eventually gets Taker out of trouble but Punk tries Old School again. That’s just asking for trouble though and Punk crotches himself on the top rope. Heyman: “WHAT HAPPENED?”
Taker loads up the Dive but Heyman makes the save. Instead of a chokeslam to Heyman though, it’s a springboard clothesline by Punk for two. The running knee in the corner connects and there’s the Macho Elbow for two more. Punk draws power from the urn and calls for Go to Sleep but Taker counters into the chokeslam for two. Back up and Undertaker wins a quick slugfest before pounding Punk down into the corner. Snake Eyes connects but Punk leg lariats him down for two.
A clothesline sends Taker to the floor and now Punk finishes loading up the announce table. Taker tries a Last Ride through the table but Punk escapes and high kicks Taker onto the table instead. The Macho Elbow…..doesn’t put Undertaker through the table as Punk just kind of stops moving once he hits Undertaker. Both guys are down and Punk is holding his knee back in the ring. The referee gets to nine but Taker dives back in just in time.
Back in and Taker tries Hell’s Gate but can’t get it all the way in. Punk tries to flip over but only gets two as a result. There’s the Anaconda Vice (no mention of Punk beating Taker in a submission match back in 2009) and Taker sits up. He glares at Punk while still in the hold and slips his hand underneath, but the chokeslam is countered into a bad GTS. Taker doesn’t even go off his feet and picks Punk up for the Tombstone for two.
They slug it out again and Taker loads up the chokeslam, only to have Punk shove the referee down. Punk’s knee is giving out but he hits the running knee in the corner only to be countered into the Last Ride. Heyman throws in the urn to blast Taker in the head ala HHH and the sledgehammer in 2001. Naturally it only gets two because Undertaker doesn’t lose at Wrestlemania. Taker escapes the GTS twice and the second Tombstone makes it 21-0 at 22:23.
Rating: B. It was good but I never once bought the Streak as being in jeopardy. It wasn’t going to end in a countout, it wasn’t going to end off a GTS, it wasn’t going to end with the same spot that HHH did better 12 years ago. It’s a good match but it’s a step down from the last four years. To be fair though, did anyone really think it was ending here? I’m not sure why you would. It’s Undertaker at Wrestlemania for crying out loud. The match was entertaining though and Punk’s visuals were great throughout, as was him hitting Old School. Good but definitely not great match here.
Undertaker reclaims the urn and looks like he’s about to cry.
WWE has donated a lot of Slim Jims to the military.
Video on Cena being focused for the main event.
We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar using the same video we’ve seen about five times now. HHH didn’t have a reason to get back into the ring until Lesnar hurt Vince. It’s No Holds Barred with HHH’s career on the line.
Brock Lesnar vs. HHH
Shawn Michaels is in HHH’s corner. Lesnar is in the MMA gear which makes him look even scarier than usual. They slug it out to start with HHH firing off a bunch of right hands to the ribs. Lesnar knees the Game in the ribs and out to the floor we go. Brock is sent into the barricade and the announce table but Brock sends him into the apron to take over. They head into the crowd but HHH immediately clotheslines Lesnar back to ringside.
Brock blasts him in the head and picks up a chair as we head back inside. The jumping knee to the face puts Brock back down and Heyman steals the chair away before HHH can use it. They head back to the floor and Lesnar hits a belly to belly suplex to send HHH onto the floor. A release vertical suplex puts HHH through the table and Brock screams at HHH’s body. There’s another belly to belly suplex onto the remnants of the table and Brock gives us another evil grin.
Shawn tries to check on Brock and is sent running away. Back inside and Brock pounds away into the corner and shrugs off a facebuster before clotheslining HHH down for two. Another belly to belly gets another two as Shawn plays cheerleader. A pair of German suplexes get three two counts and Brock shouts a lot. HHH fires back some right hands but gets whipped over the corner and back out to the floor.
HHH’s arm is hanging there at the moment but he comes back with a clothesline and a right hand. Another clothesline puts Lesnar into the timekeeper’s area. A chair shot staggers Brock but we head back inside for a bridging German for two. Brock decks Shawn off the apron but walks into a spinebuster. The Pedigree is countered but so is the F5. Shawn comes in to try a superkick but gets caught in the F5 instead.
A bad looking Pedigree gets two on Brock and it’s sledgehammer time. Brock puts HHH up in mid swing and hits the F5 for two. We head to the floor and Brock cracks a chair over the Game’s back before sending him into the steps. The same steps go upside HHH’s head and Brock sends the other set into the ring. Back inside and Brock hits him in the arm with the steps for two more. Another shot with the steps gets another two but HHH comes back with some right hands. The Pedigree is countered into the Kimura arm lock but the ropes do nothing here.
Triple H breaks the hold twice by ramming Brock into the corner but Lesnar puts it on again. Brock fires off some knees and puts the hold on while on the middle rope but HHH picks him up and slams him down in a spinebuster. Brock misses a charge into the post and there’s a low blow for good measure. HHH wraps Brock’s arm around the post and Brock sounds like he in labor. A chair shot crushes the arm against the post and HHH does the same against the steps for good measure.
HHH throws on a Kimura of his own and Brock screams for Heyman, only to have Shawn superkick Heyman down. Brock holds off from tapping and lifts HHH into the air before slamming him down onto the steps. HHH throws the hold right back on and Brock slams him down onto the steps again to break the hold a second time. Here’s a third Kimura by HHH and Brock lifts him up, only to be DDTed onto the steps. It’s sledgehammer time again and a shot to Brock’s head sets up a Pedigree onto the steps for the pin at 24:00.
Rating: B+. This started slow but the ending was much better. I was actually thinking Brock would tap at the end and they had me not sure of who was going to win until the end. I’ll have a lot more to say about HHH spending eleven months with Brock Lesnar and then beating him in the blowoff match at Wrestlemania, but for now this was a good, hard hitting, entertaining match.
We get the Hall of Fame video from last night.
The Class of 2013 is presented to the arena: Mick Foley, Booker T, Trish Stratus, Bob Backlund, Donald Trump (booed) and Bruno Sammartino (gets a trumpet entrance). Foley got the loudest ovation it seemed.
The attendance record is 80,676.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Rock
No entrance video, no musical performance, no special Mania entrance, nothing. Cena just walks out and kind of struts down the ramp at first. Apparently the eight person tag was cut from the show. I didn’t think they could fit all of that into the amount of time they had left. We get Big Match Intros and we’re ready to go. The crowd is exactly as you would expect it to be. Rock is champion and the huge crowd favorite if that wasn’t clear.
A quick shoulder block gets no one anywhere so we stare each other down a bit more. Rock grabs a headlock which does nothing of note either. We try it again until they run the ropes a few times followed by a hip toss to send Cena to the floor. Back in and Cena sends Rock into the corner before pounding away a bit. The champion comes back with a clothesline and a kick to the face to put Cena down on the mat.
Rock drives some elbows into Cena’s chest but gets clotheslined down again. The crowd isn’t into this for the most part. Cena hooks a chinlock which transitions into a headlock on the mat. Rock fights up and hooks a sleeper as the fans think this is boring. A suplex puts Rock down and Cena stomps away as he continues to be the heel in the match. Rock fights back with a Samoan drop and they lay around a bit more. Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex gets two.
Rock tries the spit punches but Cena hits the shoulder. A second one misses and the spit punch connects. The spinebuster is countered into an STF attempt but Rock escapes. Cena hits his finishing sequence but the ProtoBomb is countered into the Sharpshooter, and it’s WAY better than the one he used last year. Cena rolls out of that and kicks Rock off so he can hit the ProtoBomb.
The Shuffle misses (I don’t remember that happening before actually, which is hard to believe) and Rock hits a DDT to take Cena down. The Rock Bottom is countered into a bad Crossface but when that gets Cena nowhere, he hits a third ProtoBomb and the Shuffle for no cover. The AA is countered but there’s the spinebuster by Rock. Cena picks the leg to counter the Elbow though and the STF goes on. In an impressive power display, Rock rolls onto his back and breaks Cena’s grip to escape.
Cena charges into the Rock Bottom for two as the fans are barely reacting to these near falls because we’re not even fifteen minutes into this yet. The AA hits for two but the to rope Fameasser misses. Now the People’s Elbow hits but of course it only gets two. The near falls aren’t even close as Cena is kicking out at like two and a quarter instead of two and nine tenths.
After Cena rolls to the floor for a bit they head back inside for the boo/yay slugout. Rock for some reason tries a cross body and it’s ANGRY Cena but he gets countered into a big Rock Bottom. AGAIN Cena kicks out barely after two which takes away a lot of the drama. Rock stops to listen to the people and loads up another Elbow, only to throw in You Can’t See Me. In a nice callback to last year, Cena pops up and hits the AA for two.
Back up and they slug it out again and Cena hits a Rock Bottom of his own for two. NOW the fans are getting into this. Cena has no idea what to do now but as he loads up the Shuffle, he stops and sets up the Elbow. This is what cost him last year but he holds the ropes when Rock nips up, only to have the AA countered into a Rock Bottom for another two. This is starting to pick up a lot.
The AA is countered, the Rock Bottom is countered, the AA is countered again, the Rock Bottom is countered again, the AA is countered again, Rock hits a DDT. The champion tries about the nineteenth Rock Bottom of the match but gets countered into the Attitude Adjustment to give Cena his 14th world title at 24:00. Yeah seriously, that’s it.
Rating: C+. This started off REAL slow but picked up after about twenty minutes. The problem is it stopped as soon as they started to get going. This fell into the classic trap of trying to have an epic match and collapsing under the weight. The problem at the end of the day is we’ve seen this done better before, so what’s the appeal here? Not much to see here and it was freaking boring at times.
They say something we can hear to each other and shake hands….and Rock walks out to his own music to end the show. Oh wait they salute each other and pose to really end it.
Overall Rating: B-. This falls into that awkward “Good but not memorable” category. The big matches were all good but nothing on here was what I would call a masterpiece. Rock vs. Cena was good but we saw a better and bigger match last year between the two. The crowd didn’t help things, which ranges from either the cold or reports of REALLY obstructed views for a lot of them.
The biggest problem here is there was never that moment that you remember from each show until the end. Yeah that helps a lot, but it doesn’t help when we’ve seen Cena win the title what, twelve times before? It also doesn’t help that the moment comes after FIVE HOURS of WWE tonight.
Results
Shield b. Big Show/Randy Orton/Sheamus – Spear to Orton
Mark Henry b. Ryback – Henry fell on Ryback’s back
HELL NO b. Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston – Swan Dive to Ziggler
Fandango b. Chris Jericho – Small Package
Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger – Cross Armbreaker
Undertaker b. CM Punk – Tombstone
HHH b. Brock Lesnar – Pedigree on the steps
John Cena b. The Rock – Attitude Adjustment
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:
Then there’s this.A year ago I was as fired up for a match as I’ve ever been because of Cena vs. Rock. I didn’t know if it was going to be good or bad, but I needed to see it one way or another. That being said, the feeling isn’t there this year. I’m not saying I don’t want to see the match because I do and there’s no way this won’t be good. The problem is there’s nothing separating this match from last year’s version. Yeah it’s for the title, and maybe 10% of the promos have been about said title. It’s not adding anything and is the definition of a prop to set up this match.
All that being said, I’m fine with the match happening again. These complaints of the match being stale or played out are pretty ridiculous considering we’ve seen them fight ONCE in a a year and that match drew more money than any other match ever. Again, we haven’t seen them fight in over a year and that match was an instant classic. But somehow this match is stale because….it just is right? Anyway the match itself should be fine.
As for the big question about it: no, I don’t see Cena doing the turn. I see this being more like Wrestlemania 8 where Roddy Piper picked up the bell, looked at it, and sat it down instead if giving into the demons. Granted he lost about ten seconds later but at least he had a clean conscience. The main thing to remember abotu Cena becoming the villain is there’s no one ready to take his place on top of the company. Cena is way too big of a cash cow for WWE and in his own words:
“”I just don’t see me getting there in order to please a very small group of 30-year-olds.”
That’s what it boils down to. A lot of fans REALLY like John Cena. He appeals to kids, he appeals to women, he appeals to families. Cena is built up as a role model and he’s done that for years. Yeah, the turn would be shocking. Then three months would go by and where would we be then? We would have a small group of 30-year-olds cheering for him and a bunch of people not buying his merchandise. WWE is too smart to cater to such a small group of fans and at the end of the day, the right move is for Cena to stay where he is, at least until someone new is ready.
As for the match, I can’t imagine Rock keeping the title. I just can’t. Rock can’t be world champion long term because of his movie schedule, so you can’t expect him to keep the title even longer. Also Cena has earned a big win as he hasn’t been champion in a LONG time. Think about it. Since Money in the Bank 2011, Cena has been world champion for 34 days, and 20 of those were spent as co champion with Punk. His last title reign that went longer than three months? The year long one which ended in 2007. It’s been a very long time since Cena had an extended reign as world champion and it’s his time again. Cena wins, as he should.
Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles
To say this show was a success is an understatement. Until Rock vs. Cena, this show drew more PPV buys than any show in the history of the company, which says a lot when you consider what came before it. The main event here is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga, which is the Battle of the Billionaires, as Donald Trump and Vince are backing the two respectively. The losing billionaire gets his head shaved. There’s also Cena vs. Shawn in what should be awesome. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is a montage of Wrestlemania logos which turns into your usual highlight reel.
We get a clip of the opening of Wrestlemania III before transitioning to Ford Field in the same city. Aretha Franklin is here again twenty years later to sing America the Beautiful again. That’s a very nice touch, as are the clips from Tribute to the Troops.
Now we get the video for this year’s show, which is the All Grown Up theme. It’s a bunch of kids dressed like the stars who then turn into their adult selves.
Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge
With this match, we start the tradition of having too many people in a single MITB match and overcrowding the thing. Everyone looks up at the case until Kennedy goes to get a ladder. Orton heads to the floor to stop him as the big brawl begins. Finlay DIVES on everyone not named Edge, allowing the Canadian to make a climb, only to be stopped by Matt. They head to the floor, allowing Orton and Finlay to head up top for a brawl on the ladder.
They topple to the floor so it’s Jeff going up, only to be shoved down by Kennedy. Booker goes to pull out a ladder but it’s Horny’s, meaning it’s only about two feet tall. Punk takes it away and pounds on people with it, only to have Edge take over again. This is one of those matches that moves too fast to really keep track of things. Punk is bleeding from the forehead as Edge bridges a ladder between the ring and barricade.
Back inside and Booker takes over with kicks and spinebusters for everyone in sight. Before climbing though, here’s a Spinarooni. The distraction lets the Hardys crush Booker with some ladders before Matt and Edge go at it a bit. The Hardys set up a ladder seesaw but Jeff is sent off the top to break up whatever they were going to do to Edge. Instead Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder, only to be sent to the floor by Kennedy.
Kennedy pounds away on Matt but the Kenton Bomb only hits ladder. Instead it’s Jeff with a Swanton to Mr. before the brothers team up to drop everyone in sight with the ladder. Both Hardys go up and start slugging it out on top of the ladder, only to be shoved into the top rope by Finlay. Edge hits the spear on Finlay and one for Orton and Booker as well. Kennedy and Matt take spears too and there’s one for Jeff to nearly complete the set. Punk jumps over Edge to send him into the corner and become the only man standing.
Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around a bit to take everyone out until Edge thinks wisely and DUCKS, allowing him to take out Punk’s vulnerable ribs. Edge gets the big ladder and makes a climb, only to gets caught by Orton and shoved down to the floor. Jeff saves that though and climbs up on his own as Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the barricade. Jeff dives off the ladder THROUGH EDGE AND THROUGH THE LADDER! Needless to say, Edge and Jeff are DONE.
We’re down to six people in the match now and it’s Orton’s turn to take over with RKOs all around. He picks up a regular sized ladder but Punk knocks him down and sets up a second ladder in the middle of the ring. Apparently Jeff is still on the floor despite Edge being taken out. Orton and Punk both climb up and it’s an RKO off the top of the ladder to end Punk. Booker goes up but has to stop an RKO attempt with a Bookend off the ladder.
It’s Matt vs. Booker on the ladder but Matt drops down and threatens to give Sharmell the Twist of Fate, drawing Booker down. There’s the Twist to the King but Finlay (sporting a NASTY cut on the back of his head) shoves the ladder over. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) crushes Matt against the ladder but hurts Finlay’s back in the process. Finlay is barely able to stand so here’s Horny to climb for him.
Instead though Kennedy pops up the ladder….and gets smacked in the face by Horny. There’s a fireman’s carry roll off the ladder for the little guy’s efforts. Finlay destroys Kennedy with the ladder but gets knocked off the ladder by Matt. Now it’s Punk going up but Kennedy meets him on the ladder for a slugout. Punk shoves him off but Kennedy spears him in the ribs with another ladder, allowing Kennedy to climb up and win the case.
Rating: B. This was definitely the weakest of the matches so far as there were too many people in there and no one to have the big spots like Shelton. It’s definitely good but this one lacked the pop that most of these matches had over the years. Kennedy would lose the case to Edge a few weeks later.
Video on the premiere of The Condemned so we can clear the ring out.
Kennedy warns every champion that he’s coming for them and says he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Bank.
Batista is All Grown Up.
Great Khali vs. Kane
This is when Khali is still a decent monster who could move a little bit. Kane is easily shoved down to start and then shoved to the floor for good measure. Back in and Kane slugs Khali, only to be chopped right back down. Off to the nerve hold before Khali slugs away in the corner. Kane comes back with punches of his own but is easily shoved down and across the ring.
Kane fires back with a right hand and tries the top rope clothesline but it only staggers Khali. Another shot sends Khali into the ropes and Kane has his opening. Kane heads to the floor and grabs a chain with a hook on the end which he used in the horror movie he was in around this time. Khali knocks him back and rips off the turnbuckle pad to distract the referee, allowing Kane to kick him low. In one of the big spots of the show, Kane slams Khali ala Hogan slamming Andre twenty years ago. That only gets two so they both grab chokeslams, but it’s Khali hitting the Punjabi Plunge for the one footed pin.
Rating: D-. The slam was cool and the rest was completely horrible. Khali was nothing good and somehow he would get even worse. Kane was in that weird period for him where he was just kind of there and doing nothing of note. By period, I mean about a five year stretch of course. Terrible match but the slam was good.
Post match Khali chokes him out with the chain and no one makes the save.
The Divas say they’re All Grown Up. The idea of taking them seriously is amusing.
Cryme Tyme tries to cheer up a now bald Eugene with an Extreme Expose dance party. That would be Kelly, Layla and Brooke (now Tessmacher) as a dance troupe. Instead Moolah and Mae Young show up and Eugene wants to dance with them. Cue REVEREND SLICK of all people to show us how it’s done. This brings in Dusty Rhodes who says you can’t have a dance party without him. The music comes back on and here are Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart and IRS to join in. Ricky Steamboat in full karate attire shows up until we get the Ron Simmons payoff.
Some Detroit Tigers are here.
US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit
Benoit is defending and MVP is pretty new here. They head to the mat to start with MVP actually in control. Off to a headlock by the challenger but he has to shove Benoit to the floor to avoid the Crossface. Back in and Benoit can’t hook the Crossface as MVP keeps it on the mat with the headlocks. Back up and MVP pounds Benoit into the corner but charges into an elbow. A superplex attempt is blocked and Benoit’s arm is draped across the top rope to shift momentum again.
Back in and MVP works over the bad arm with some driving shoulder blocks. He misses a spinning kick though and Benoit busts out the Rolling Germans. The Swan Dive is broken up though and MVP goes back to the arm by sending it into the post. Off to an armbar again, followed by a running clothesline for two. Out of nowhere Benoit reverses a slam into a Crossface attempt but the arm is too weak to hook the hold. This time the slam works and there’s the Ballin elbow for two. MVP misses a charge into the corner and it’s time to roll some Germans. After four of those, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to retain.
Rating: C. Yeah that’s it. The match really never got off the ground and could have used another four minutes or so. As always the scariest part is thinking that Benoit only had about two months left so he likely wasn’t sane during this match. The match itself wasn’t bad but as mentioned it never got off the ground. MVP would win the title at Backlash and hold it for almost a year.
Video on Undertaker who is All Grown Up….I think.
Donald Trump is in his dressing room and complaining about the lack of food and drinks backstage. Boogeyman comes in for no apparent reason and Trump doesn’t seem impressed. Trump asks him for a sandwich. This uh…..happened. Yeah we’ll go with that.
Hall of Fame time. Mr. Perfect was one of the headliners here and gets a pretty touching tribute. William Shatner inducted Lawler, which is kind of annoying as Lawler had wanted Lance Russell (announcer of Memphis Wrestling for like forty years) to do it but WWE said no and picked Shatner because of a forgotten segment on Raw back in like 1995. The other headliner was Dusty Rhodes who asked to be made an honorary Horseman. That’s just wrong. No presentation to the crowd here which is weird.
The attendance is over 80,000, which is of course a new record.
Here’s the Fink because what would Wrestlemania be without him? Oh ok he’s doing the Hall of Fame live presentation to the crowd. JR gets easily the biggest pop of the entire class.
82% of the fans think Undertaker will win the title.
We recap Undertaker vs. Batista but there isn’t much to say. Taker won the Rumble and picked Batista for an awesome power match. They had to team up at No Way Out and Batista turned on him to give us a one night only heel, even though that’s not really too far out of Batista’s normal behavior.
Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker
Teddy Long does the intros here for some reason. We lso get the druids and the torches, which look AWESOME in the huge stadiums like this. The bell rings and Batista spears Taker down before pounding away in the corner. Undertaker fires off right hands of his own but Batista throws him right back into the corner. The fans are totally behind Undertaker here. They head to the floor with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps as is his custom.
Back in and Batista hits a top rope shoulder for two. If you’re listening to Cole, you would think he had hit a 450. A big clothesline puts Taker down for two but Undertaker comes back with right hands and a running charge in the corner. The Snake Eyes and big boot combo puts Batista down and a legdrop gets two. Old School connects but Big Dave powers out of the chokeslam to huge booing.
The jumping clothesline puts Batista down again but only for two. Taker puts him on the apron for the elbow and legdrops before busting out the Taker Dive as is his custom at Wrestlemania. Taker pounds away even more but Batista counters to throw him through part of the barricade to take over. With Undertaker dazed, Batista loads up a powerslam from one announce table through the other, which actually isn’t countered.
Back in and that only gets two so the champion pounds away more for good measure. Batista loads up the Bomb but Taker plows him into the corner to counter. Dave comes right back with a belly to belly suplex for two. He pounds on Taker in the corner like a schmuck and of course there’s the Last Ride for two. Taker has a breather but walks right into the spinebuster.
Batista doesn’t cover though and gets caught in a chokeslam for a VERY close two. The Tombstone is countered and Batista hits the spear and Batista Bomb for an even closer two, shocking the champion. Batista loads up another Bomb but Taker backdrops out of it and avoids a spear, setting up the Tombstone for the title.
Rating: A. The idea is that these two were annoyed and decided to have an awesome match to show everyone up. These two would go on to have more great matches on shows where Batista actually had a chance to win. This was the feud of the year and it’s hard to argue as they could both work the power game like few others.
Lashley is All Grown Up.
Vince is in the back looking in a mirror when Stephanie comes in with a stroller. Vince goes off on Stephanie before playing with his granddaughter. Naturally there’s a camera from inside the stroller looking up at Vince. He promises to fracture Trump’s skull.
Joey tries to talk about the ECW Originals vs. the New Breed but we need to get this along.
New Breed vs. ECW Originals
It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.
It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.
Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.
Austin is All Grown Up.
Wrestlemania 24 is in Orlando.
We recap the real main event for tonight’s show and the reason why this show was the highest drawing show ever for the next five years. Vince and Donald Trump both agreed to back a guy into a match and the losing billionaire would get their head shaved. This was when Trump was still a big deal and EVERYONE was backing Umaga because they wanted to see Trump bald. Oh except for Rock who actually cut a promo about wanting to see Vince bald.
Trump picked the ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley. Steve Austin was brought in to referee because this is Wrestlemania. The best part of the build was Lashley in a cage with Umaga on the floor. To escape, Lashley shoulder blocked the cage wall, knocking it down to the floor and nearly crushing Umaga in the process.
Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga
The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.
Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.
A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.
Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.
Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.
Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.
Post match they take FOREVER to Stun Vince and cut his hair. Austin Stuns him because that’s what Austin does to Vince. To their credit though, they SHAVE his head, not just trim it. Vince’s face during this whole thing is great as he goes from shock to the patented Vince rage in a few seconds. This led to three months of Vince/Shane/Umaga vs. Lashley which didn’t work for the most part. Austin, Lashley and Trump share beers and Trump gets Stunned. I’ll give the guy this: he has a soft spot for wrestling. He hosted two Wrestlemanias, was in the crowd for two more and did this.
John Cena is All Grown Up.
For no apparent reason other than we have nothing else to talk about, we look at the dark match with Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero in a lumberjack match.
Womens Title: Melina vs. Ashley
It’s a lumberjill match and all of the other Divas are introduced. Melina is defending here because thank goodness Ashley never got the title. Ashley, who isn’t a wrestler, takes Melina down and pounds away. The crowd is audibly quiet for this match and can you blame them? Ashley pounds away in the corner and does some bad choking but Melina comes back by SCREAMING. Off to a bow and arrow for a bit as I have no interest in watching this match at all. Ashley misses an elbow and thankfully Melina reverses a rollup into one of her own to retain.
Rating: M. As in Mickie James, who was on the floor during this match instead of in the ring. Point blank, Ashley cannot wrestle. She was decent looking, but other than that she had nothing going for her at all. This was a popcorn break match and thankfully it was barely three minutes long as I couldn’t sit through much longer.
Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.
We recap Michaels vs. Cena. Shawn won a triple threat to set this up and then won the tag titles with Cena. The idea is Shawn has turned on every one of his partners in his career and he’ll do it again here. No music video here for some reason.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
Remember that they’re tag champions here but neither guy wears the belt. I can’t say I blame them of course. Cena’s special entrance this year is driving a muscle car from “the parking lot” into the arena due to being in Detroit. They circle each other to start before Shawn slaps him in the face. A quick headlock doesn’t do much for Shawn so he uses his speed advantage to pop John with some right hands. Back to the headlock and it works a bit better this time as Shawn takes Cena down to the mat.
Cena has had enough of this defense thing and rings Shawn’s bell with a clothesline. Shawn is sent to the apron but he tosses Cena from the ring and out to the floor. A BIG chop staggers Cena but Shawn’s Asai Moonsault hits mostly table and Shawn is hurt. Luckily for him though Cena is even more hurt as they head back inside. Shawn chops away in the corner before going after Cena’s knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and Cena is in trouble. The referee asks Cena if he can continue and of course Cena says yes.
Shawn keeps kicking at the leg before wrapping it around the ring rope. With Cena down in the corner, Shawn stares straight at him to play even more mind games. Back up and John hits a big right hand to send Shawn flying across the ring. Shawn charges straight back at him with a shoulder into the ribs in the corner to keep control. Michaels charges again but Cena’s leg gives out and Shawn goes head first into the post, busting him open.
Cena has had enough of getting beaten up so he punches Shawn down before firing off some mounted right hands. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle hit but Shawn punches his way out of the FU. Cena is sent into the corner but manages to duck Sweet Chin Music. The referee isn’t so lucky though and is knocked senseless. Cena tries the FU but is countered into a DDT to put both guys down.
With no referee in sight, Shawn rolls to the floor and hits a sick piledriver onto the steps. The THUD when Cena’s head hit was a little scary. The back of Cena’s head is cut open BAD on top of that. Back in and here’s a second referee but the count only gets two. There are the forearm and nip-up as the blood flows down Shawn’s face. The top rope elbow connects but Cena blocks Chin Music with a big clothesline to put both guys down again.
They slug it out in the middle of the ring but the FU is countered again into a sunset flip for two. Shawn’s leap frog is caught in the FU but Cena is too banged up to cover. The very delayed cover gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. With nothing else to do he tries an FU off the top, only to be shoved off by Shawn. Michaels dives at Cena but gets caught in the FU position. He counters that as well though by landing on his feet, only to miss the superkick and have Cena try for the STFU. Cena keeps trying for it but gets small packaged down for two instead.
Shawn misses an enziguri attempt and now the STFU is on. Cena cranks back on it but Shawn is only a few inches away from the rope. As Shawn starts to black out he grabs the rope and Cena has to break. He takes a bit too long though and gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Shawn to kick Cena’s head off. Another delayed cover gets two and both guys are down. In a cool spot, both guys have to lean on the other to get up. The FU is countered again but Shawn can’t avoid the STFU again. Cena cranks back on it and Shawn has no choice but to tap out.
Rating: A-. This was a much better match than the HHH match from the year before for a few reasons. First of all, there was a story behind the match. As simple as it was, Shawn being Cena’s partner gave them a bond and seeing them fight was something interesting to see. Second, the drama was better here. Cena felt like he was in real trouble and that the title was in danger, which I never felt last year. It’s a better match overall and they would have even better ones in the future.
A highlight package ends the show.
Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the stuff that is bad is really bad but the stuff that is good is REALLY good. There are only eight matches on the card and three of them are very good to great. The best part about that though is the bad matches (other than one) were all short and pretty easy to get through. The show is completely forgettable other than Trump vs. Vince and maybe Undertaker vs. Batista, but it’s worth seeing. I would however recommend fast forwarding through some of the weaker parts.
Ratings Comparison
CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge
Original: B+
Redo: B
Great Khali vs. Kane
Original: D
Redo: D-
Chris Benoit vs. MVP
Original: B
Redo: C
Undertaker vs. Batista
Original: B+
Redo: A
ECW Originals vs. New Breed
Original: D+
Redo: D
Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga
Original: C-
Redo: D
Melina vs. Ashley
Original: F
Redo: M (for Mickie James)
John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: A
Redo: A-
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: B+
Almost everything goes down and the rating goes up. I’m a complex guy sometimes.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 23, 2011
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews
We’re past Over the Limit and after another Cena torture movie he’s still WWE Champion. Also Jerry Lawler finally got his revenge on Cole in a humiliating defeat. Tonight we’ll start building towards Capitol Punishment in four weeks. It should be interesting to see where we go from here as it seems a lot of feuds wrapped up last night. Let’s get to it.
An in memory of Randy Savage graphic opens us up.
Theme song hits.
Here’s Lawler who says that the long national nightmare is over because Michael Cole has been beaten. He said he had an ace up his sleeve last night. Actually he had a Hart up his sleeve, and here’s the Hitman! Bret says he’s always respected Jerry over the years as a competitor despite not always seeing things the same way. He had no respect for Michael Cole though so he as glad to help him taste the agony of “de-feet”.
R-Truth of all people comes out to talk to Bret. He says Bret must be a 90 time WWE Champion and wants Bret to ask him how many championship matches he’s had. That would be zero because he didn’t care about the little Jimmys like Bret did. He asks if there’s something he can give to the fans and asks to take Bret’s shades to give to the fans.
Truth finds a Little Jimmy in the front row and gives him the glasses. “I’m a good R-Truth now.” Now he thinks he should be next in line for a WWE Championship match but he isn’t. Truth takes the glasses back and goes to see Bret again. It’s about wins and losses, not giving the fans what they want. He put out John Morrison and he beat Rey last night but now he needs to beat on a Hall of Famer.
Bret says go ahead and try it but he got championship matches because he’s the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Truth doesn’t get championship matches because he’s a freaking lunatic. Truth doesn’t like that but here’s Cena before we see what he says next. Cena limps out and is clearly in pain. It’s a mostly pro-Cena crowd tonight.
Cena chats with Bret for a bit and now it’s time to talk to the resident lunatic. Cena says he and Truth used to be cool but now he lost his mind. Truth: “Used to? Used to is a rooster from Brewster.” Well ok then. This thing Truth has been on is all about Cena apparently. The people make it all about him. Cena says that Truth is wrong and that he makes it all about the people.
Truth says that it’s all about Cena and how he has to get the Cena shirt, the Cena wristbands, go see the new Cena movie, HE WANTS HIS SON BACK! It’s all about him now and he isn’t going to feel right until he gets his WWE Title match. Cena says he’s a bit broken up from last night but it’s about time someone knocked some sense into Truth. An E-Mail stops that though because the GM isn’t sure about Truth. The main event is Truth/Punk vs. Rey/Cena with Bret as referee. Bret gives the kid the sunglasses in a nice touch.
Show and Kane are sitting on a nice car and Show says that they’re going to be in a pack tonight, I think talking about Nexus. Ricardo comes up and yells in Spanish so Show shoves him down. Alberto comes up and yells in Spanish too. The big guys actually leave as Alberto rambles more in Spanish.
Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty
I don’t get why these two didn’t have the tag title shot last night since they won last week. Punk has boots up to his thighs that are white/yellow and look a bit odd. He sits in on commentary here. Kane and Otunga start us off and David heads to the floor to avoids a seated dropkick. A small chase starts but Otunga misses an elbow drop as Kane fakes him out.
Show comes in to a big pop and here’s Michael as well. Show sends him to the floor with ease as we take a break. Back with Nexus working over Kane as Punk says he doesn’t care which Nexus team wins the titles. Orunga gets a neckbreaker on Kane for two. Show comes in soon thereafter and the beatdown is on. Punk talks about how everything is going to be ok and Ryan tries to come in. Kane takes him down but Punk says he has faith and kicks Show in the head. A double DDT to Show and we have new champions at 8:54 total.
Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it’s probably a good thing to see the giants lose the titles. They can only go so far with the titles before things get really boring with them. Nexus needed something to go with here and the tag titles tend to be the first thing you’re given to get something established.
Back with a video of Orton at a Wal-Mart signing That’s What I Am DVDs. Not as bad a movie as I was expecting even though he was in it less than five minutes.
Big Show and Kane are asked about frustration and Show is all ticked off. Alberto for some reason Slaps him in the face and runs off. The camera goes down and when we find them Alberto’s car is on Show’s leg! Kane shouts at everyone and Ricardo backs the car off. Show screams a lot as medics arrive. Show tries to get up but falls right back down.
Back and Big Show still tries to stand, this time getting over to something to lean on. He won’t sit on a stretcher and looks like he’s going to try to walk it off.
Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne
Swagger misses a shot in the corner and Bourne snaps off a rana. And there goes that momentum as he runs into a big boot as Swagger takes over. Off to an armbar but the Vader Bomb misses. Bourne gets some kicks in but can’t get anywhere with it. One is caught into an ankle lock but Bourne gets out again. Another rana attempts is reversed into a HUGE gutwrecnch powerbomb to end this at 2:10. That impact was awesome.
Post match Bourne is up already and gets a kick to the head of Swagger to send him to the floor in a heap.
Cole is walking around in the back and walks past the Divas, offering Eve a handshake. She sticks her foot in his face instead. He’s up next.
Rock’s new movie has done incredibly well.
Here’s Cole and he asks for our attention but then says he doesn’t deserve it. He wants to apologize to everyone from Jerry to Matthews to Justin Roberts to Mark Yeaton to the fans in Portland to the people all over the WWE Universe. He just wants to come home and do commentary on Raw. He wants to come back with no Cole Mine and no more matches but just one more chance.
Jerry says thanks for that and thanks for giving him a picture for this year’s Christmas card, which is Cole having Jerry’s foot in his mouth. The fans keep chanting You Suck Toes. Jerry also hands him a box of Altoids which Cole accepts. They offer him a chair but here’s Miz as Cole sits down.
Miz says there is only one reason why he didn’t win the WWE Championship last night, and that reason is Alex Riley. This isn’t the first time Riley has failed either as he wasn’t at the steel cage match, he cost Miz the title three weeks ago because they dropped the belt and then last night he had the cell phone fall on the ground. Miz wants one more chance at Cena in a one on one match with Alex Riley barred from ringside. He isn’t going to leave the ring until he gets an answer either.
There’s an E-Mail and the GM denies the request. Miz is done with Cena because he lost against last night. Riley points out that it wasn’t him that quit and Miz slaps him. Miz goes off on Riley and fires him and the fight is on! Riley is destroying Miz, ripping the clothes off of him and throwing him onto the announce table. Riley beats Miz up and we actually get a big Riley chant! Miz is almost out. Riley leaves Miz laying in the middle of the ring in one of the better face turns I’ve seen in a good while.
Melina/Maryse/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix/Gail Kim
Cole continues to try to be different tonight, saying Miz might have had that coming to him and praising the Divas, enjoying the chance to call the match. A Bella (announcers aren’t sure either) vs. Kelly to start. And here’s Kharma maybe 10 seconds into it to a nice pop.
Beth rallies the troops to stare down Kharma who walks to the ring anyway. She climbs up to the apron and climbs in, not really focusing on anyone. The Divas surround her and it’s a weird staredown moment. Kharma sticks her arms out and her hands start shaking. She gets on her knees and something is censored out. Kharma starts crying with her lips quivering. She’s rocking back and forth a bit and shaking her head. She’s saying something but we can’t hear it. We go to a break with her more or less having a breakdown in the middle of the ring.
Back and we see a clip of Kharma’s breakdown again.
We get a clip of Extreme Rules where Kofi won the US Title back.
Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston
Non-Title here. Drew has a ton of pyro now. Drew is moving out there tonight as they have a very fast paced start but Kofi can’t get over Drew on a leapfrog and Drew works on the knee. Figure Four on the post as this has been all Drew other than some nice speed moves by Kofi. Kofi kicks him off though and manages the Boom Drop on one good leg.
He can’t even attempt Trouble in Paradise though and collapses, allowing Drew to get a kick to the chest for two. Drew tries a knee crusher which Kofi half counters into a rana position, only for Drew to powerbomb him down for a long two. Into the corner but Kofi pulls SOS out of nowhere for the surprise pin at 4:28. Vickie and Ziggler are shown watching. Dolph is blonde again.
Rating: C+. I liked this match with Drew having control due to the bad knee and Kofi having to fight from behind here the entire time. The knee stuff was good with Drew being all aggressive, but he lost again which doesn’t really help him all that much at the end of the day. Good to see him on TV again though.
We get a dream sequence of all three commentators imagining what would happen if President Obama had a press conference about Capitol Punishment. They’ve asked Congress, the Washington Nationals to the forest reserve to the PPV.
Nexus celebrates their win and Punk says watch what he’s about to do. Main event is up next.
Alberto says he had nothing to do with Show’s injury and blames Ricardo for it.
It’s time for what a lot of people have been asking for all night: the Randy Savage tribute. A voiceover talks about how awesome his career was and how when everyone was being flamboyant he was better at it than anyone. Set to Pomp and Circumstance we talk about his matches with Hogan, the Mania 3 match, Slim Jim, the fans imitating him (but never being able to duplicate him).
A barrage of Savage promos set up a highlight reel set to a sad song about setting someone apart and being a shame to be apart. There’s a focus on his relationship with Liz and the clips are mostly from his face runs. They’re showing things in sets here, such as his robes and then a bunch of shots of his elbows and finally the in memory graphic as he gets a standing ovation and a loud Macho Man chant. Very nicely done.
John Cena/Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth/CM Punk
Bret is referee here. Punk has pink tights with stars on them like Savage had at Mania 4 where he won his first WWF Title. Cena and Truth to start with Cena sending him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Punk in control, ramming in elbows in the corner. Cena speeds things up a bit and Punk hides behind Bret in a funny spot. Truth comes in and takes over on Cena with some basic stuff for two.
Back off to Punk and I can’t help but smile at the tights. Punk hits Bret’s floatover Russian Legsweep and it’s the TWO MOVES OF DOOM! Suplex gets two and it’s off to Truth again who gets in Bret’s face. Punk adds a backbreaker but Cena reverses a Sharpshooter into an STF attempt. Punk loads him up for the GTS but Cena counters into a DDT and both guys are down.
Rey comes in and everything breaks down quickly. Cena falls down because of bad ribs and Truth shouts how do you like me now? Rey dropkicks Truth in the back and sets for the 619. Bret drills Punk and adds a Sharpshooter and Rey drops a dime on Punk’s head for the pin at 9:48. Cena jumps in the air with a leap that would make Orton jealous.
Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here but at the same time it was kind of a mess. Not bad to be sure but I’m really not sure what this accomplishes other than a feel good moment I guess. It was like they weren’t sure what to do here so they did a modified comedy match. Not bad, but really nothing special at all.
Overall Rating: B-. This was a hard one to grade here. The show was certainly eventful but the lack of wrestling hurts it. This was far more of a show about resetting a lot of things which is something they really had to do after last night and they did a good job of that, but the lack of wrestling got in the way here. The Savage tribute was well done and needed and I’m very glad we got one. The title change was also good and Kharma’s breakdown is something worth keeping an eye on, but overall I wasn’t buying into the whole show. Good, but certainly not epic or great. It got stuff done though, which was the idea.
Results
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show – Double DDT to Big Show
Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne – Gutwrench Powerbomb
Melina/Maryse/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torries/Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix/Gail Kim went to a no contest when Kharma interfered
Kofi Kingston b. Drew McIntyre – SOS
John Cena/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/R-Truth – Springboard legdrop to Punk
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 16, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
It’s the final Raw before the Over the Limit PPV and we have our main event in the form of Cena vs. Miz for the title. Other than that there isn’t a ton here so we’ll likely fill out the rest of the card tonight for the red show. Over the Limit feels like a filler PPV which is rarely a good thing. Hopefully Raw gives me a reason to not think that after tonight. Let’s get to it.
Theme song opens us up.
Here’s Cena but before he can say anything Riley pops up on the stage. Riley says he knows what Cena is going to say and introduces a video of Miz beating on Cena. Here’s Miz -who looks weird without the title. Riley talks about how everyone has underestimated Miz. They’re in the ring now and Cena isn’t pleased. We get some classic cheap heat on the San Antonio Spurs for choking.
Cena cracks some jokes and implies Miz is a kid/stupid and then turns serious. He talks about how Miz has proven everyone wrong, but on Sunday he won’t be saying he’s awesome. He’ll be saying he quits. An E-Mail says that Miz can pick Cena’s opponent and the stipulation for tonight but it can’t involve Miz or Riley. Miz isn’t sure yet on either option.
Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk
I’m not sure if this is a step up for Kofi or a step down for Punk. Punk takes over to start and tells Nexus to stay at the top of the ramp. Kofi sends him to the floor and they come down, only to have Punk send them back again. Punk fires off some elbows to the chest for two. Knee drop gets the same. He tries to go up top but Kofi gets a kick to the side of the head and the champ takes over.
That HUGE cross body gets two and New Nexus is looking worried. Boom Drop hits despite Kofi running around for about 8 seconds beforehand. He keeps looking at Nexus and misses Trouble in Paradise. GTS can’t hit but Kofi misses his jump in the corner. There’s the GTS and Punk gets the totally clean pin at 3:56.
Rating: C+. This was fine and I can live with Kofi losing here as he was distracted by Nexus and he lost to a guy with a far better resume than he had. I’d love to see these guys get more time out there as the stuff they had worked quite well while it lasted. This was fine for a TV match.
Punk says that was just the beginning and Nexus will become the most dominant force in WWE history.
Miz is talking to Ziggler and Vickie about possibly facing Cena I assume.
Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly
Non-title again. We talk about the Divas on Twitter because that’s about all there is to talk about. Kelly does her gymnast stuff as we keep talking about Twitter. The Twins cheat a bit and Brie works on a chinlock. Kelly spanks her a bit and a quick rollup/pinning combination ends this at 1:56.
Post match the Bellas beat down the blonde and it’s Kharma time. HUGE pop for the music coming on too. Kelly is out in the corner and Kharma goes after her, only to have a Bella hit Kharma in the back. Implant Buster to the other one. We do get the terrified Kelly eyes and Kharma picks her up by the jaw. She flicks Kelly in the head, laughs, and leaves.
Miz talks to Big Show and gets cut off.
That’s What I Am ad.
Here’s Rey to address the situation with R-Truth from last week. He says that he wants to prove to Truth that he had no business being in last week’s main event or any for that matter. He’s still waiting as we go to a break. Back and instead it’s Alberto coming out to see Rey. He talks about how he’s a pure blooded Mexican unlike Rey. Rey says he’s proud to be a Chicano and an American. If Truth isn’t here, then he has no problem shutting Alberto’s mouth instead.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio
They start off very fast with Rey getting a kick to the chest and moving out of the way of a charging Alberto. Codebreaker to the arm out of the corner as we take another break. Back with more arm work by Alberto and Rey can’t quite fight back. Alberto puts on an armbar. Make that a LONG armbar.
Rey starts his comeback and here’s R-Truth up in the rafters. He wants the cops to be called as there’s a thief here as Rey stole his title shot. Alberto doesn’t take the chance to jump Rey or anything so once Truth shuts up Rey keeps the advantage. He speeds things up a bit more and it’s 619 time, but Ricardo grabs Rey for the CHEAP DQ at 9:34 total.
Rating: D+. Very boring match here as it was about 80% armbar and commercial. The point was to set up the Truth stuff post match but can’t you have a good match at the same time that you’re setting up an angle? Pretty weak stuff overall and not what you would expect from these two.
The heels beat Rey down a bit more post match, working on the arm. Truth runs in after they leave and beats him down even more, saying that on Sunday Rey is going to get got. The mask is almost off Rey at this point when Truth leaves.
Miz recruits Punk and Mason Ryan.
Time for the contract signing for Cole and Lawler. Lawler agrees that if Cole wins Cole gets the HOF ring and if it ever happens, Lawler will induct Cole into the Hall of Fame. Cole signs immediately as does Lawler. Michael is all happy about it and it turns out that Sunday is a Kiss My Foot match. We get a clip of Ross being forced to kiss Cole’s feet last month and also a clip from the Kiss My Foot match against Bret Hart where Lawler was made to kiss Bret’s feet and then his own also.
Cole puts his disgusting foot on the table and Lawler says shut up. That was Bret Hart and Cole is no Bret Hart. He’s not even a Jack Swagger. Cole runs his mouth off, talking about how no one remembers Swagger being a former world champion and the only reason Swagger was on Wrestlemania was because of Cole. Swagger isn’t happy with this and says he’s all yours King before leaving. Cole tries to make nice with Jerry and gets slammed down by the tie again. On Sunday, Jerry is going to put his foot in Cole’s mouth and close it. Cole is crying as the segment ends.
Miz is talking to Kane when Big Show comes up. Kane leaves while Miz is still talking and the tag champs face Nexus next.
Cole is all annoyed now.
Big Show/Kane vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga
Kane vs. McGillicutty to start us off and that goes badly for Genesis dude (NXT 2 reference if you didn’t watch the show). Does that make Kane Nintendo Boy? Big Show comes in and the Nexus actually manages to take him down. Cole keeps apologizing for the tiniest things that tick Jerry off now which is a nice touch. The non-champs work on Show’s leg as Punk runs his mouth a lot.
Show actually uses some nice leg work to get out of the hold but Otunga stops the tag. Show gets a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and there’s the tag to Kane. Otunga’s boots look like the ones Swagger usually wears. Kane beats up both guys but here’s Ryan in for the…..not DQ as he doesn’t get any contact in. Show takes him down on the floor and it’s chokeslam time. Punk gets a kick to the back of the head and the McGillicutter ends Kane at 4:50.
Rating: C. Not bad here and nice to see a little surprise as Nexus might actually be getting a push for a change. Nexus is never going to be as strong as they were at first but this is nice to see as instead of just standing around they actually get a few wins. Hopefully the tag titles change hands soon though as Kane and Show can only do their unstoppable giants deal so long before it gets incredibly dull.
Truth is Miz’s latest recruit. As long as they don’t have another match I have zero issues there.
We run down the Over the Limit card to fill in some time.
Kane and Show say the loss means nothing. There’s a title match on Sunday against Nexus apparently.
Cena is up next and he runs into Ryder again.
Miz comes out and picks a no holds barred match. Cena comes out to fight and is jumped by Jack Swagger, who is the opponent.
John Cena vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger starts off in control as Cole says this is why Swagger abandoned him. Cena tries to fight back but Swagger takes him down and adds a leg drop. The dueling Cena chants begin and Swagger adds a suplex. Vader Bomb hits as we take a break. Back and we see that Cena tried to fight back during the break on the floor but was rammed into the post. Also Swagger got a shot in with the computer.
Back in the ring and Swagger gets a chair shot to the back and Cena is in big trouble. Vader Bomb onto the chair gets two only as the fans are getting back into this. Jack wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but here comes Cena. Never mind as he gets caught in something resembling a half belly to belly/half spinebuster for two.
Ankle lock goes on but Cena rolls through and avoids a charging Swagger, sending him head first into the chair. Cena starts the finishing sequence and with a look at Miz, the Attitude Adjustment sets up the STF for the tap out at 11:30 total. Better match than I was expecting.
Rating: C+. Pretty decent main event here as Cena and Swagger continue to have rather solid chemistry together. Cena gets to win a match by submission to prove that he can even though we already knew he could. Swagger looked good out there and got to be in control the majority of the time, which is what they should have done. Good stuff.
Miz lists off various ways he could make Cena quit on Sunday, suck as dropping Cena off the stage, slamming a camera into Cena as he’s against the stage (which he actually does, getting a big crack as it hits the stage) or he could find something under the ring to use on Cena. Alex finds a pipe which he hands to Miz who climbs the stairs.
Miz says he won’t use any of those things because there are a million ways to beat Cena which Cena hasn’t thought of yet. He says he’s going to find a way to make Cena quit that Cena has never seen before. Cena looks a tiny bit worried/scared here. Miz won’t use the pipe Sunday, but he will tonight. Riley provides the distraction and Miz gets a shot in but Cena fights back and takes down Miz, standing tall to end the show. Cena says Miz is going to need the million he has and a million more, because at Over the Limit Miz is going to say I Quit. Staredown ends the show.
Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad show here as they added some stuff to the PPV as well as built up a bit of drama for it. It still feels like a filler PPV but it’s more interesting now or at least more fleshed out. For a go home show this was certainly adequate but it only gets my interest up for the PPV a little bit. Good enough though.
Results
CM Punk b. Kofi Kingston – GTS
Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – Cradle
Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show – McGillicutter to Kane
John Cena b. Jack Swagger – STF
Extreme Rules 2011
Date: May 1, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews
I see this show as being like TLC from last year: there isn’t much of a difference in the stories from here and Wrestlemania so here are a bunch of gimmicks tacked on and we hope that you watch our show and don’t notice that we haven’t put much thought into this past month. The main event tonight (possibly) is Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the vacant world title. If Christian doesn’t win here, I doubt he ever will. Not really but it sounds good. Let’s get to it.
Opening video is pretty much what you would expect: TONIGHT IS EXTREME!!!
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Last man standing here. New Nexus is with Punk as they continue to try to validate their existences. And never mind as an E-Mail throws them out. Punk takes the pad off a buckle before he even gets in. Hot start as they go right at it. We go to the floor quickly with Punk getting introduced to the barricade. They hit it off and are taking in a movie next Tuesday.
They go back into the ring as they’re keeping up that fast pace. The problem of course is that in last man standings, there’s no real point to buying into any counts until after at least 8 minutes. Punk grabs a kendo stick and the “brutal” part of the match starts. Multiple shots by Punk (Straightedge anyone?) gets about seven and now it’s payback time. Finisher attempts are exchanged and Orton sends Punk into a chair wedged in between the ropes to the floor for about 6.
Punk gets a solid kick to the head for about 8. As always in these matches, a lot of time passes with little happening due to the counting and setting up for the counting. Orton sends him into the barricade for six and we head back to the ring. GTS actually hits and Orton gets up at 9, only to fall back down a second later. That counts as being up though as it should. Punk throws in a chair and a Russian leg sweep onto it gets about 8.
To their feet and Punk tries another leg sweep. Orton pulls an RKO out of nowhere and both guys are down. Orton gets up as does Punk but he stumbles to the floor just after he gets up. Punk fights off the elevated DDT and wraps a chair around Orton’s throat to send it into the post. THAT gets 9 and Punk is ticked off. They go to the table and Punk tries the GTS on it….which wouldn’t add anything to the move but whatever. There’s the counter into an RKO onto the (non-breaking in this case) table and Punk stumbles to his feet somehow at 9. I would have bet on that being the ending.
Orton sets for a Punt but gets caught in a GTS into the steps. When I say the GTS I mean he gets dropped face first onto the steps which is really about all you can do with that move. Up at nine and Punk has a kendo stick. Punk sends Orton in and goes up top for some reason, only to have Orton intercept the stick and WEAR PUNK OUT with it as he’s hanging from the top. SUPER RKO from the top ends this with Orton barely beating the count.
Rating: B. I rather liked this one, mainly because they gave it a lot more time than I expected them to. I would have thought the ending was going to happen multiple times in there but they let it keep going. I think it was pretty clear Orton was going to win, but they had a lot of very close calls in there and it worked rather well. Much better than I expected actually.
Lawler heads to the back to get read and we recap the Draft.
Morrison is warming up.
Sheamus is ticked off that Teddy has added an extra match with him defending against Kofi in a tables match. He’s the US Champion and is defending against someone not from the US. He demands to see the birth certificate. This is FAR less stupid now that that whole issue is over.
US Title: Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston
Booker continues to imply Kofi should turn heel as we hit the floor early. First table is brought out by the pale one and set up on the floor. Back to the ring and Sheamus gets caught on the apron, only to hit a slingshot shoulder block to take Kofi down. Table #2 comes in and lands on top of Kofi. We hear about how Sheamus beat Cena in one of these to win the title which still blows my mind.
Table gets set up in the corner but Kofi fights out of it. Sheamus moves to avoid Kofi’s dive but Kofi is like screw it and does the splits in midair to land on the ropes with the table between his legs. Big boot sends Kofi flying over the table on the floor as Sheamus takes over again. The corner table is set up in front of the corner and Sheamus hammers away. Sheamus can’t suplex him onto a table on the floor and gets caught by Trouble in Paradise but it doesn’t put him through the table. The Boom Drop as Sheamus turns around does however to give Kofi the title.
Rating: C+. Not bad here and considering it was just a way to get a midcard title on Raw this was fine. Kofi of course is his usually solid self and Sheamus loses the title without getting pinned. This was perfectly fine and the ending plus some cool spots by Kofi were enough to push it over the top.
Truth complains about Morrison because that’s what he does anymore. He can’t spell conspiracy. The one thing he can’t stand is a thief which is what Morrison is. Back in the 80s this would have been a squash over a jobber and the point is just to establish that Truth is here for when he likely runs in later.
Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler
Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps. Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap. Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday. Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old. Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him. Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face. There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.
Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes. Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole. Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold. Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger! Swagger escapes and I think accidentally tags Cole. Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit. Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow. He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it. Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?
Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more. Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE! This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it? Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead. Match sucked too.
Over the Limit is in three weeks. Well of course it is.
Cena says he hasn’t been champion since June and will be champion again tonight. Short interview here.
We recap Rey vs. Cody. Not much to say here other than it’s been awesome from Cody and Rey messed up Cody, turning him into someone that thinks he’s grotesque despite looking the same as he always has. That’s some solid psychological stuff there.
Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio
Falls count anywhere. People hand out the bags which is a nice touch. Cody has promised to send Rey to the hospital on his way to Raw. Cody charges at Rey to start us off but Rey speeds thigns up to send him to the floor. They go up the ramp and Rey gets a seated senton off the stage for two. Out into the crowd as Rey kicks away at the head. NOT IN THE FACE!!!
Up towards the back of the arena with Cody kind of in control now. Into the back as this is more or less an old school hardcore match. Cody mangaes the Beautiful Disaster off a concession stand window for two. That looked awesome. Back to the ring as this has been a very stiff looking match. Rey tries his sitout bulldog but Cody reverses with a wheelbarrow drop onto the steps for two.
Cody picks Rey up like a 24 pack and throws him into the ring. Rey fights back and sets for the 619, intentionally exposing his knee brace. Cody counters and hits an Alabama Slam for two. Up we go but Rey FIRES GREEN MIST at Cody to send him flying. 619 out of nowhere and the springboard splash finishes completely clean.
Rating: B. Another good match here, mainly due to them beating the tar out of each other. This feud was solid and at least Cody got the win at Mania which looks better on his resume and will be what is remembered. Good stuff overall here and the mist was a nice touch despite messing up the racial stereotypes again.
Layla apologizes to the Divas for being mean to them over the years. They say they don’t like her but they like Michelle less.
Cole is back on commentary. Oh joy.
Michelle McCool vs. Layla
More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE. Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance. Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl. A shot into the table gets two for Michelle. Big boot misses and here comes Layla. Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.
They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over. DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in. Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two. Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately. Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.
Rating: C+. I liked this again. The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time. Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine. Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine. Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.
Layla cries as she leaves.
Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts. Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease. All of the Divas are freaked out. Beth is made to look the most prominent here.
Alberto gives Ricardo instructions on how to announce the ending.
We recap Edge’s retirement and the title being vacant. This gets the 3 Doors Down video again which makes me smile. Edge was supposed to defend in a ladder match but had to retire due to a neck injury so Christian took his place by winning a battle royal.
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio
Ladder match here. Well we’re in Christian’s match with Edge’s momentum behind him in his (kind of) hometown. If he doesn’t win here, he’s never going to have a better chance. Brawl to start and Christian goes for the ladder only for the king of the golden banana hammock to take over. Baseball slide into the ladder into Del Rio as Christian takes control right back.
First ladder is brought in and Del Rio gets in a shot to take over. Christian is knocked to the floor as Del Rio gets the big ladder set up between the table and the ring like a platform. Suplex is blocked but Christian is kicked into the steps hip first. The Canadian gets knocked off the top onto a ladder and then jumps onto Del Rio to keep the advantage for the most part.
Up goes Christian but we’re only about 8 minutes into this so that’s not the ending. They slug it out but the Killswitch is avoided. Del Rio is sent into the ladder arm first. Big ladder goes up in the middle of the ring but Del Rio chucks a stepladder at Christian for the save. Codebreaker to the arm with Del Rio on the small ladder and Christian coming off the big ladder which looked awesome.
Del Rio works on the arm a bit as Cole declares Christian done. The small ladder (I smell an alliance with Horny) is used again but Del Rio goes crashing into the big ladder to put him down. Christian goes up again, only to get caught by Alberto in a kind of powerbomb move which is countered by a rana by Christian. They fight over a chance to put the other through the ladder platform but Christian gets a suplex onto a ladder to put Del Rio down.
Alberto goes up, only to be stopped but the arm goes out on Christian as Alberto keeps control. Chair slipped in by Ricardo which goes nowhere. Back in the ring Christian busts out a SPEAR to put Del Rio down. I guess he isn’t a master of it though as Del Rio makes the save by pulling Christian through the rungs of the ladder. Christian slips free, sending Alberto into the corner where the stepladder gets kicked into his face again.
Christian gets laid out on the platform ladder and Del Rio goes up for an elbow/legdrop/splash/whatever. Christian moves though and the ladder DOESN”T BREAK. FREAKING OW MAN! There goes the Canadian but Brodus runs in to move the ladder and pull him down. Stepladder shot puts Clay down as Del Rio comes back in to take over. Cross armbreaker with the arm in the ladder makes Christian tap which means nothing.
Christian is busted open so we bust out the towel. Alberto sets up the ladder and has to take his time as first aid is administered, making this look REALLY FREAKING STUPID. He goes up but a horn honks and Edge is in a car. Brodus is busted BAD. The distraction lets Christian shove Alberto onto Clay and Christian is champion. One important thing here: Edge stands off to the side for a good while to let Christian celebrate on his own.
Rating: B. Another rather good match here and this is the right move. I’m skeptical about Christian as champion still, but this was 100% the right call given the circumstances. He gets the chance to run with things here, despite being 37 now. It’s a gamble, but it’s not a huge walk the plank one so I don’t have many complaints here. Rather good match too but nothing we haven’t seen before for the most part.
Edge celebrates with Christian but DOESN’T STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT.
Package on Orton’s movie at a film festival. I think they’ve figured out the idea here: let the actors do the acting and let the WWE guys have supporting roles. It’ll do a lot better.
Riley gives Miz a pep talk as the fans can be heard heckling Del Rio.
Tag Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Wade Barrett/Ezekiel Jackson
Lumberjack match here which is really needed as it’s 10:15 and we only had the Raw title match left. Show vs. Barrett to start us off as Show dominates. Kane comes in with his low dropkick for two. Everything breaks down quickly as Show beats up various jobber lumberjacks as Jackson runs over Kane to take over. Double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a bit of a mess. It’s a bonus match though so you really can’t complain that much.
Off to Show who cleans a few rooms but gets sent to the floor by Jackson. Jobbers pound on him which means they’ll be his dinner later. DH Smith is actually here. Wow indeed. They finally get Show back in and Jackson slams him, but Barrett wants the glory. The glaring between the foreigners allows Show to grab a chokeslam to retain over Barrett. Just a quick match here.
Rating: D+. Again, it’s a bonus match so you really can’t complain much here. They filled in the card and pushed the whole Corre breaking down thing. This was fine for what it was as they weren’t expected to do anything of note. I’m done will filling in space here but with this sentence I get four lines out of it so I’m happy.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison
In a cage and it’s pin, submission or escape. Miz tries to run but the not brothers John save him. Midnight Express flapjack puts the champ down as we’re firmly into the three way formula already. Everyone beats on everyone as the former tag champions……and by that I mean Miz and Morrison…..go up but Cena makes the save. Miz and Cena fight on the top rope for a bit and down goes Cena.
Morrison tries to make a quick escape as Miz tries a pin but the champion saves. They sit on top of the cage and slug it out as Booker says they’re 20 or 30 feet in the air. I give up. Cena pops up and it’s a double suplex to Miz but they kind of botch it into almost a double brainbuster. That looked SICK. Back to the formula again and down goes Morrison.
Cena locks on the STF but Miz tries to escape. Cena lets go for some reason and no one escapes. Morrison gets thrown into the cage, only to jump up the wall and almost escape. He’s a wildcard in this and changes the whole thing, as wildcards are designed to do. With the Johns on top, Miz tries to go out the door. Morrison kicks the door onto his head but gets crotched on said door.
Miz wisely pulls Morrison back into the cage because Morrison was about to just fall onto the floor. Cena gets two on Morrison. BIG DDT on Cena by Miz gets two. Miz rams Cena into the cage and Morrison almost escapes, only to be caught again by Miz. They slug it out on top of the cage again and Miz can’t quite get down. Miz goes down so Morrison launches a Starship Pain off the cage to take out both guys in a cool spot.
Morrison almost gets out but of course here’s Truth to slam the door on Morrison’s head. Truth comes into the cage and destroys Morrison. Axe kick to Cena as Booker is confused. Jumping downward spiral (NAME THAT MOVE ALREADY!) to Morrison as Truth climbs the cage. He hasn’t touched Miz. Truth climbs out of the cage and has the big freaky eyes going on.
Everyone is down now and Miz is the first one up. He goes to escape, for some reason not going through the door, only to be caught by Cena. They slug it out with the boo/yay which is required for Cena matches anymore. Skull Crushing Finale is blocked into a big old FU off the top (stealing moves from Orton Cena? Really) and Cena is champion again.
Rating: B-. Well we all knew the Truth interference was coming and that Morrison wasn’t walking out with the title which is fine. The ending sets up a rematch and Truth vs. Morrison which is fine on both counts. This was a pretty solid main event to a pretty solid show which is always a good sign. They worked the formula and they worked it well here, so no complaints for the most part.
Overall Rating: A-. Dude this show was pretty awesome. There are good matches throughout, some history thrown in there and two bonus matches, one of which was pretty good. This is a lot like TLC: it wasn’t meant to be an epic show but rather fun instead and that’s just what they did here. Good stuff throughout and not boring at all with everyone working hard. That’s what you want here and it paid off. Very good show and rather fun overall.
Results
Randy Orton b. CM Punk when Punk couldn’t answer the ten count
Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Boom Drop through a table
Michael Cole/Jack Swagger b. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler – Cole pinned Ross with a rollup
Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Springboard splash
Layla b. Michelle McCool – Crucifix Pin
Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Christian pulled down the championship
Big Show/Kane b. Ezekiel Jackson/Wade Barrett – Big Show pinned Barrett after a chokeslam
John Cena b. John Morrison and The Miz – Cena pinned Miz after an Attitude Adjustment off the top
Extreme Rules 2010
Date: April 25, 2010
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Arena
Attendance: 12,278
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler
Ok so here we are. Again this is hopefully going to be a live review so if it comes off as odd don’t be surprised. This show was plagued by a lack of Raw build up show due to the volcano in Iceland. Even still though, this is a minor PPV as it’s just a rehash of the Mania feuds. This is the show where everything is a gimmick match which is always at least cool in theory. The main event is Batista/Cena in a last man standing match. Let’s get to it.
Opening video more or less says that Extreme rules. Cute. Incredibly stupid, but cute. Rey/Punk gets a higher billing than Edge/Jericho. That’s rather odd. Standard video package that sums up everything. WWE is very user friendly. It’s easy to step into any show and get what’s going on. That’s a HUGE perk for attracting new fans.
Street Fight: HHH vs. Sheamus
WOW. This is the opener? I’m stunned actually. This has been a decent build up to a feud…and there’s no HHH. ICELAND ATTACKS AGAIN! We go to the back and Sheamus has jumped HHH. I like it. It gives things a feeling of you don’t know what’s coming which is a very nice touch to say the least. The pale one has a steel pipe and gets in a solid shot on HHH’s head. I guess this has officially started but I’m not sure. The referee calls for the medic and we go to the arena.
And Big Show and Miz are here. Ok then. These two aren’t scheduled but I’d bet on a tag title match. They’re not scheduled but they just happen to have their wrestling gear on. The jacket on Miz works in some weird way. Miz has risen so far so fast that it’s amazing. I think Bret is going to be here soon.
Oh apparently they’re moving that to tomorrow. They say they have a lack of competition and they’re praying for opponents. I smell Kane for some reason. Here’s Teddy Long. He makes ShowMiz vs. a team of his choosing. This is just for a title shot, not the titles. Got it. And the opponents are….not announced yet. I’m liking this live way of reviewing actually. Ah .
Tag Team Gauntlet
R-Truth and Morrison are opening us up here. This is the first of three teams. I know this is a rematch of Mania but come on now. Actually this works so I can’t complain that much. Cole says the fans are behind the face team. NO REALLY? It’s a bit better than the previous one at Mania, but not by much. Morrison screws up and gets disqualified by not letting Show out of the ropes when he has a triangle choke on. Ok then.
Team number two is MVP/Mark Henry. This is rather short but it works fine I guess. Without going into details, MVP gets punched and pinned.
Cue Hart Dynasty, Hart Attack, pin. Literally, that’s it.
Rating: N/A. Too much of a mess to really grade it as a regular match. Something like this was needed to flesh out the card though. It came off fine though.
Grisham tries to give us an update on HHH but Sheamus says he’ll have to forfeit or get a worse beating.
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
Remember if Punk loses his head is shaved. Punk NEEDS this. Rey is wearing a Skelator mask. Ok then. Punk hits that sweet powerslam of his. In a nice spot, Punk just throws Punk under the ropes so he crashes into the floor. Nicely done. Gallows has a bit of an Austin look going for him.
Decent match far and longer than their Mania one I think. Come on WWE don’t kill Punk off yet. He busts out a bow and arrow of all things. Nice. Striker tries to turn Cole and Lawler to Straightedge. I like it. Punk busts out a freaking Gory Special of all things. See? Even back then they had special moves. No Mercy stole from them! Punk is more or less dominating, which scares me to no end. Serena stops the 619 and she and Gallows get ejected.
Rey hits an Asai Moonsault to get right back into it. Crowd is red hot by the way. Rey gets a seated senton but Punk hits a dropkick to make the save. This is a storied rivalry already. No Striker. Just no. Punk hits his springboard clothesline and I can’t stand Rey anymore. Seriously, get over the whole overcoming the odds idea.
It’s just stupid anymore. GTS is countered into a rana for 2 and then punk kicks Rey’s head off. Solid match to put it mildly. Rey gets the freaking 619 and someone slides a chair into the ring. It’s a bald guy that slides under the ring. No clue who that was. He also drops Rey with something on the floor and Rey is out. GTS ends it. YES!
Rating: A-. VERY good match that had me wondering who would win up until the very end. Also, this is the way the match needed to end. Rey needed to lose here and Punk now has a credible win in this gimmick. That was a great match though. Love it and yes my Punk bias likely has a lot to do with it but still.
Strap Match: JTG vs. Shad Gaspar
It’s the four corners version here which I’m in the minority that actually prefers it that way. I just could not care less about this match. I truly couldn’t. JTG needs to win to regain credibility apparently. That would imply he had it to begin with, which is a straight up lie. Shad is dominating for the most part here. Yeah riveting.
Wow the crowd is SILENT for this. Who would have seen that coming? Shad just destroys JTG here and beats on him with the strap sans mercy. Shad gets his first three…and JTG does the same three. Not THIS finish again. Yep. JTG hits his finisher and dives for the 4th corner. Screw me running at least it’s over.
Rating: D-. And I like these kinds of matches. The crowd simply could not care less and it came off very clearly here. I mean NO ONE cared. Just boring here with two guys that have no heat on them at all. At least it’s over though.
HHH can’t fight tonight. Yeah I’ll buy that.
Orton vs. Swagger is next? Really? We hit the recap. You know the drill by now.
Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger
Remember it’s Extreme Rules which I guess means no rules? Crowd loves them some Orton. Swagger controls early on as you would expect. I’m hoping they don’t make the switch tonight. Orton chasing the title for a few months would be nice. Also Swagger needs the credibility that the title gives him.
I love how more or less the announcers say Orton has nothing but the RKO. That’s not that nice. Swagger is dominating but Orton gets a belt shot to break that up. Ok then. Orton hits that same powerslam that Punk hit earlier. Swagger counters the elevated DDT too. Nicely done. It’s garbage can time.
SICK shots with it from Orton. Those were nice. Orton is going off now and it’s awesome. Orton does a stomp to Swagger’s head while he’s on the steps. Ow. The knee drop misses though and Swagger hits the floor. Naturally he gets caught in the elevated DDT though and it’s Orton setting for the RKO now. Hint: when he slaps the mat and shouts, it means RKO is coming.
Instead though he sets up a chair but the RKO onto it is countered. Well kind of it was. The look came off terribly but I get the concept. Gutwrench powerbomb hits and Swagger gets the pin. HUGE win there. That was all Swagger as he countered the RKO and got the pin. All Swagger there. Post match Orton gets the RKO to keep the tweener thing going.
Rating: B-. Not great but the booking was exactly right. This was a decent little match as Swagger is getting better and better in the ring. I liked it for what it was. No classic but not bad at all.
And here’s Sheamus. Ok then. And despite not being able to feel his hand, here comes HHH. Ok, if he wins here, I give up.
Street Fight: Sheamus vs. HHH
HHH of course controls to start things off which is bearable I guess. He hits the spinebuster but can’t get the Pedigree because of the arm being how hurt it is. Now this is more like it. He’s just ramming HHH into the barricade over and over again. I forgot this is a street fight. That’s not a good sign at all.
Striker and King are arguing like no other here and it’s coming off as great. Striker says he and Lawler have both wrestled hurt. That’s rather stupid. Striker wrestled for what, a year or so? Just seems ridiculous to compare the two of them. And of course HHH has the energy to use a DDT with his left arm.
HHH grabs a pipe and smacks HHH in the head with it. Naturally he kicks out. Sure why not? Apparently after a massive Irish man blasts you in the head with a steel pipe you can kick out via instinct. Sure why not? Celtic Cross is blocked. Apparently that’s called Pale Justice now. HHH gets a kendo stick and all of a sudden his arm is fine. That makes my head hurt. This has at least picked up a bit. Pump kick hits though. A second kick hits and it’s all Sheamus.
Naturally he lets HHH get up and the third and fourth kicks land to FINALLY end him. And remember kiddies: do not attempt making yourself look that strong without a licensed wife with connections. To be fair, the ending makes this a lot more bearable. Post match he fights off a cervical collar and tries to crawl off. He’s almost to the entrance when Sheamus hits ANOTHER kick to put him down again. Nice.
Rating: C-. The second half saved this match. The first half was borderline failure but the weapons helped it a lot. Sheamus winning is the right thing though, period. Yes HHH looked very strong, but to be fair he laid down at the end of the match and that’s what counts at the end of the day. Not terrible but more about the angle afterwards than the match.
Ad for Over the Limit. Oh dear.
Edge is getting ready.
Smackdown Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool
This is an Extreme Makeover match. Michelle looks great of course. The music helps a lot here for her I think. There’s a table of makeup etc at ringside. Beth gets a semi-pop. Can someone shut Beth up? Please? Michelle is possibly the best women’s athlete ever? Really? That’s just pitiful.
Basically we’re just making fun of Vickie and using random weapons like hairspray and ironing boards. Beth counters the hairspray again and it’s one on one now. Vickie has a broom. Make your own jokes. Glam Slam ends it like it should have.
Rating: D. And that’s mainly due to Beth’s awesome cleavage in this one. This was a comedy match to put it nicely and it didn’t come off well to put it nicely. The girls looked hot, but having them use things like makeup and ironing boards? Really?
Ad for the Mania DVD.
Jericho does his usual great promo about how it ends tonight. He looks buff to say the least.
No recap actually.
Cage Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho
Ah ok we got a quick recap after Edge’s intro. Makes more sense. Jericho stalls a lot to play himself some heel. Ah there we go now they’re both in. And we see Jericho’s tights pulled down. Didn’t need that one there. Jericho gets rammed into the cage. Striker: The metal militia bares its fangs.
Edge goes for the spear but misses entirely. That’s never a good thing. I love that springboard dropkick that Jericho busts out from time to time. Striker talks about footwork and Lawler just couldn’t care less. In a cool spot, Jericho hits a leg whip from the top into the Walls. Nicely done. Edge does the climb the ropes spot to get out which is a nice counter.
Jericho has the door open and knocks Edge to the middle of the ring. Then of course like an idiot he gets out of the cage and goes back in. Yeah he’s an idiot. Edge hits a fast spear for two. Codebreaker gets two and we fight on top of the cage for a bit. Edge gets crotched and Jericho gets out AGAIN but this time Edge stops him from falling.
We fight on top even more and Jericho comes back into the cage. And so does Edge. In a NICE spot, Edge is standing on the top rope and Jericho gets a running start, hits the other rope and into a Codebreaker so both guys are down. Nice. That only gets two for a pretty weak pop. Jericho goes for the top of the cage but Edge saves again.
He slams the door on Jericho’s ankle. That would freaking hurt. Edge spins the ankle around in a weird move. This is more psychological than anything else. Ok not really but there’s some of it in there. More ankle work. Edge hits a CRAP spear for the pin. Why does the announcer’s voice always crack when he’s saying superstar?
Rating: B. Good match here but not great. If nothing else, this gives Edge the definitive win here. That’s the biggest thing I think. It wasn’t great, but it did its purpose. Solid stuff, but nothing great though. Also, stop the stupid pinning in the cage. It’s just so idiotic. Two men enter, one man leaves. Not two men enter, one keeps the other down for three seconds.
We recap Cena vs. Batista. You know it by now.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista
We get the big match intros. Depending on the source you read, this might be Big Dave’s last match. We get some feeling out stuff and then Batista is like screw it I’m getting a chair. Naturally this doesn’t work. When did so many people start using the big boot? FU doesn’t hit and Cena is thrown into the post.
Batista goes for the knee because that strategy always works in these things right? He does that for a good while. Cena gets a reversal into the steps to get Cena back to about even. Batista busts out a freaking figure four. Well you can’t fault him for a lack of psychology. Cena goes into his sequence but Batista hits the floor.
FU onto the chair hits but it gets 8. Wow that’s odd to type. Spinebuster gets 8 for Big Dave. Cena goes thgrough a table and of course that’s not enough. Batista is looking for plundah, perhaps a bicycle, when a kid yells that he hates the Animal. The Animal feels the same way. Cena puts him through the announce table. You can kind of say this is a paint by numbers thing. It’s not but you could say it is. STFU goes on and Big Dave taps, but you can’t win that way.
He’s out but gets up at 9. Nice little throwback (I crack myself up) to Raw two weeks ago. With nothing else left, Cena crotches him on the post and busts out Duct Tape to tie his legs together. Since he isn’t standing, that’s good enough to retain. Or win the title according to the main page.
Rating: B. Solid match but nothing classic. Cena beats Batista again to end the feud and possibly end Batista. This was fine for what it was, which is something I think people need to keep in mind. They weren’t going for a classic showdown here. That was at Mania. This was the violence aspect of it and more about a definitive ending. You have to keep that in mind on matches like these as it’s a huge difference in style and goals.
Overall Rating: B. I thought this was solid. Not great, but solid. Again, you have to keep in mind what you’re looking at here. Just by the name alone, Extreme Rules, you know this isn’t a standard PPV. It was a gimmick show and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. There isn’t a truly bad match all show, with the strap match and I guess the Divas match being the low points.
However you have a surprise ending and hot women. What more do you need? As for the best part of this show, the youth movement continues. Swagger gets a HUGE win over Orton and did it on his own. He countered the RKO, he hit the Bomb, he got the pin. That’s all you need. Also, Punk got the win that the needed in a great match. All of a sudden, he has credibility and momentum all over again. That’s all you need again.
Oh and Sheamus beats the crap out of HHH. Overall, this show did a great job of closing a lot of doors and getting the rest of the ones opened that need to be opened. This was a successful show. I’ll go with that. Oh and one more thing: there was a feeling of you didn’t know what was coming due to the opening of the show. That’s a very important thing there and it worked very well.
Punk/Mysterio and the main event are worth seeing. Everything else is decent enough for a watch later on. This isn’t a great show, but in a few years it would be a great way to kill an afternoon when it’s raining. Good show.
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 25, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Tonight is the Draft and also the go home show before Extreme Rules. The changes tonight don’t go into effect until after the PPV so the matches there are set in stone. What it does mean though is that we could see a changing of some of the shows various titles are on which could help spice things up a bit. This is usually fun and is being moved to this date due to Edge’s retirement, which is definitely a good thing as Smackdown is very low on star power right now. Let’s get to it.
During Tough Enough we saw the Raw midcard coming into the ring for a 20 man battle royal with the winning brand getting the first pick.
Battle Royal
This is in progress as we start. More or less imagine anyone in the midcard or upper midcard on either show and they’re in this. There are 20 men in this with guys like Kane, Show, Bourne, Sheamus, Corre, DiBiase, Tatsu, Clay, Henry etc. Three or four guys put Kane out. Show fights Khali for a bit to a nice reaction. These matches are always hard to call and this is no exception. A bunch of Smackdown guys put out Khali.
Sheamus tries to dump Barrett but can’t get him. Clay is walking around looking like he wants lunch. Only two eliminations so far that I can tell. Drew almost gets Bryan out but DiBiase saves. If I understand this right any amount of people can win for a team, as in if there are three Smackdown guys left in the end the match ends. Kozlov is out. Show beats down Sheamus as Henry puts Big Zeke out. The team dynamic here is kind of cool.
Slater is gone as is Masters. Raw has a slight advantage now. Barrett is gone as Raw takes over. Did Ted DiBiase just put Barrett out? Wow indeed. There goes DiBiase. Henry and Clay go out at the same time. It looks like it’s 6-4 with Raw ahead but Tatsu goes out to make it 5-4. Sheamus can’t put Rhodes out. For Raw it’s Sheamus, Bourne, Daniel Bryan, Mason Ryan and Santino. For the blue guys it’s Rhodes, Kofi, Drew and Show. Drew puts Sheamus out as we take a break.
Back with no changes. Bryan gets crushed by Show as Bourne puts McIntyre out. Kofi comes off the top on Ryan but misses completely. Santino goes to the apron and tries the Cobra on Show. Show casually grabs it and hits Santino with his own move. Bryan and Rhodes go out as we’re down to Mason Ryan and Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston and Big Show. Size vs. size and speed vs. speed. Kofi goes to the apron and we get an awesome sequence with Bourne hanging off the apron and sliding back in while Kofi jumps back in.
Bourne is put on the top but jumps at Show, only to be thrown out with ease. The double teaming begins and a pendulum kick sends Ryan into Show who tosses him to earn the blue show the first pick at 13:40 since the show came on the air. Best time guess I can give you there guys.
Rating: C-. Battle royals are hard to grade but this was just ok. The ending sequence with Kofi and Evan was awesome and the right team won. I’d bet on this being the big star pick that they need or they’ll save it until the end. Either way not bad here but just a battle royal which isn’t something that is very good most of the time.
To Smackdown: JOHN CENA!!! Cena comes out on the stage in the blue shirt as I’m stunned. Raw belongs to Orton I guess.
We get the recap video of Morrison and Truth which is made out to be something Biblical almost.
Here’s Truth to no music and he says Raleigh, North Carolina…..SHUT UP! Tonight is all about you, meaning the fans. They do the WHAT chant and Truth gets annoyed. He blames the fans for his failure because they goaded him into it and says the fans haven’t gotten him anywhere over the years.
Truth says the fans need rhythm and to get in tune for his singing and dancing. He talks to an imaginary fan named Little Jimmy who he apparently made happy by singing What’s Up. The kid singing doesn’t make him a champion either so Little Jimmy can SHUT UP. He’s giving the fans the boot tonight and is done with them. When he let go all of the frustration and anger if felt MARVELOUS (he screamed it, not me)! For the first time the Truth has set him free.
Morrison jumps Truth and the referees come out for the pull apart. Morrison breaks free and charges Truth who he leaves laying as we take a break.
Rock is here next week which is his birthday.
Another video of what will be Awesome Kong and we see her face. The world Kharma pops up on the screen.
Eve Torres vs. Layla
Well the people in this one look better than they did in the first match. Michelle comes out after Layla and is pretty ticked off here. Eve gets a very quick Downward Spiral for two. Layla comes over to Michelle and swings at her as Cole interrupts again. Eve wins with a rollup at 40 seconds.
Cole is talking about his training regimen and says that Mr. Wrestlemania has left ringside.
Layla DESTROYS Michelle post match and cries, shouting that she’s sick of this. Michelle goes onto the announce table as Layla is bawling.
To Raw: Rey Mysterio. Well that’s a change of pace for him.
JR is warming up. Trish wishes she jiggled that much.
Cody Rhodes talks
about giving Rey a new mask, as in the kind that you get in a hospital. This is another of those creepy Cody promos that get better and better every time.
Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus
Sheamus takes over early and hits a slingshot shoulder block for two. After that chickenwing Sheamus uses he gets sent into the post to shift momentum. Top rope cross body gets two. Next week will be Raw and Smackdown combined again apparently. High Cross misses as does the Brogue Kick but a pair of Trouble in Paradises ends this at 2:34. Quick match and nothing to rate at all.
To Smackdown: Randy Orton. My jaw literally dropped on that one.
Michael Cole vs. Jim Ross
Booker T is on commentary now which I believe is the 9th consecutive week that the announce team has changed during the show. Lawler gets up to be in JR’s corner. Ross is in dress pants and an Oklahoma football jersey. The seconds are on the apron instead of the floor. Cole makes fun or Ross’ weight and they circle each other a lot. A minute in and we’ve had no contact.
Cole, in his orange singlet, dances around a lot as Ross throws right hands. Cole hits the floor as we’ve had no serious contact after two minutes. Cole puts JR’s hat on then takes it off and stomps on it. Cole has a lot of tattoos. Swagger towels Cole off and he does some pushups. We’ve now reached the length of Sheamus vs. Kofi with no contact yet. Ross finally grabs Cole and shoves him down.
Cole calls for timeout and Swagger puts a stool in the corner. There’s a spit bucket and water. Cole actually tries to slam him so Ross hammers on him with some ground and…..with some ground and……no I just can’t say it. Cole tries to run and Lawler throws him back in. Swagger takes down Cole and then comes in for the DQ at 4:35.
Rating: F-. Oh just…..no. We get it: Cole is a jerk that everyone hates. This needs to END. It’s played beyond belief and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to keep going after Extreme Rules.
Cole shouts about what Ross did to him as he has a bloody lip. He gets a belt off JR I think and whips Ross with it. Lawler comes in for the save and the heels run. An E-Mail makes the match on Sunday a country whipping (strap) match. Someone got busted legit in that as there’s a bunch of blood on Ross’ cheek.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton
This is for two picks. Orton takes over for a bit until Ziggler comes back with a crossface chickenwing as the Backlundmania is spreading. Orton fights back as they seem to botch something with Ziggler going to the floor. Dropkick sends Orton into the front row and it’s not a countout of course. Orton’s new beard won’t let that happen. Randy comes back in and hits what is supposed to be a Thesz Press and hammers away. Angle Slam gets two. He loads up the RKO and despite Vickie interfering we’re done at 3:20 to send two more people to Fridays. Good grief that’s a ton.
Rating: C+. This was short but they fit a lot in there. It was a pretty good job of getting a very quick match that made sense which is hard to do with just over three minutes. The ending was pretty obvious when Ziggler got no entrance at all and now looks like Evan Bourne’s cousin. Not bad but WAY too short.
We start the Draft wheel again but Punk cuts it off. He talks about beating Orton in the last man standing match this Sunday. Orton says he’ll be glad to be gone from Raw so he won’t have to deal with Punk anymore. This Sunday he’ll be the last man standing. Now for the picks. Ok never mind as they’re after the break.
To Smackdown: Mark Henry and Sin Cara. Henry still has a job? Cara is good because they can edit his matches to make them a bit less sloppy which will help him a lot I think.
Wade Barrett vs. Rey Mysterio
Barrett gets kicked in the leg to start but a Boss Man Slam gets two. Off to a bow and arrow as Rey is in trouble early on. Rey gets a springboard cross body for two. Into the corner as I love that evil smile Barrett has. Rey knocks him down and gets a headscissors to set up the 619 and top rope splash to end this at 2:30. Just like the previous match: short but they got some stuff in there.
To Raw: Big Show and Alberto Del Rio. Show is pointless as he can go from show to show with his tag title. Alberto changes the whole world title picture though. In the back Alberto is mad and Clay wants to know what happens to him but is sent away.
After we run down the card, Teddy introduces the main event which is for the final draft pick.
CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. John Cena/Mark Henry/Christian
The match starts after the break. There’s going to be a supplemental draft tomorrow at noon. That’s always fun. Josh says this is the final time for Cena on Raw. Assuming that draft picks stays, that’s absolutely laughable since they said next week is going to have guys from Raw and Smackdown on it already. Christian vs. Miz to start us off. Off to Cena and Miz runs off. We actually take ANOTHER break as this is ridiculous. Vince must need a new plane with this many commercials tonight.
Back with Cena cleaning house with a dropkick to Punk and it’s off to Henry. After he stands on Punk a bit Christian comes in but the clapping gets him in trouble. Avoid the clap dude. Punk gets a big kick to take him down and it’s off to Del Rio. He works on the shoulder a bit and it’s off to Miz. Lots of tagging in this match so far. More arm work follows including a Codebreaker to the arm for two.
After Christian plays Ricky Morton for a bit (does that make Edge Robert Gibson somehow?) he manages to pull off a tornado DDT to Del Rio and it’s hot tag to Cena. Miz comes in also and Cena hammers on the champion. Protoplex puts him down but Henry takes Cena down with a shoulder block. He picks Christian up in a press slam and throws him into the steps and the Skull Crushing Finale ends Cena.
Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here with nothing of note to it. I think we all knew Raw would win here as they more or less had no other option. Henry turning isn’t anything of note at all as he’s boring beyond belief for the most part anymore. Not much here but a decent ending I guess.
To Raw: John Cena. Yeah we knew it was coming.
Cena cleans house to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Well for overall shock value this certainly worked. Cena and Orton both going had my jaw dropping. The wrestling itself though….not so much. The Cole/Ross thing was just annoying as it has been for weeks now. The total focus on the main event save for a few picks is rather annoying stuff but that’s par for the course here. Pretty weak Draft but it gave Smackdown more than the boost it needed, which is the point of the show. The ending was a bit predictable but that’s fine as the initial shock was great. Not the worst show but nothing great at all.
Results
Team Smackdown won a battle royal – Big Show last eliminated Mason Ryan
Eve Torres b. Layla – Rollup
Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Trouble in Paradise
Jim Ross b. Michael Cole via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered
Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO
Rey Mysterio b. Wade Barrett – Top rope splash
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/CM Punk b. John Cena/Mark Henry/Christian – Skull Crushing Finale to Cena
Wrestlemania 27
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Keri Hilson
Well here we are. It’s the biggest night of the year and we’re heading to Georgia for the first time in Mania history. The main events are John Cena vs. The Miz for the Raw Title, Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio for the SD Title and HHH vs. Undertaker (not II of course). This is the night we’ve all looked forward to, and there’s that Rock guy here too. Let’s get to it.
The dark match was the US Title match but it turned into a non-title battle royal with Khali eliminating Sheamus to end it. I’m assuming the US Title match will be later.
Note that this is being written live so please excuse any marking out moments.
Keri Hilson, some singer I don’t know, sings America the Beautiful.
The voiceover guy here is like an old vaudeville voice which is kind of cool. Up first: here’s THE ROCK! The Great One looks…well great. The arena looks awesome too. Actually it’s a stadium but whatever. After posing forever he teases the FINALLY before hitting it. Bunch of Fruity Pebbles signs in the crowd. Rock promises this will be electrifying. Time for a little game: the Rock says Yabba, the people say Dabba. This somehow takes up FIFTEEN MINUTES overall and he does a huge IF YA SMELL to end it.
Video about the major moments in Mania history and the big ones tonight. Standard awesome intro video. I know they were cutting out the wrestling but this is ridiculous.
There’s the traditional big fireworks display and we get a match!
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio
WHAT THE HECK??? THIS IS THE OPENING MATCH??? The intro is great for Alberto as the video where the car comes from is designed to look like his driveway at his estate so he’s driving out of it. That’s awesome. Clay is here with Alberto. Here’s Christian to back up Edge. I think shenanigans may be afoot. This gets the big match intros because it’s a big match. Can’t fault their logic there.
I’m watching on a stream so I’ll do my best on the times but I make no guarantees on their accuracy other than in general. Edge fires away early on as Cole talks about the arm. Naturally that triggers an attack on said arm which is in trouble early. The arm work continues as is intelligent. Alberto goes to the floor so Edge flips forward over the ropes and lands mostly on Del Rio in a cool spot.
As the champion comes back in though Del Rio pulls him off the top in an armbar. The Cross Armbreaker is countered into the Edge-O-Matic as Edge gets two. Out of nowhere the armbreaker goes on but Edge rolls through to escape. Dueling chants begin. Edge goes up again but Del Rio gets the running enziguri to take him down for two. Christian and Clay get into it and Christian goes flying via a suplex.
Edgecution sets up the attempted spear but Alberto avoids. He stops in the corner and Clay grabs the arm and rams it into the post. The armbreaker goes on full force after a bit of a block. Edge reverses into a rollup/cradle move that makes Alberto break it up to escape. Edge gets the Edgecator and Alberto is in trouble. Clay tries to come in but Christian gets the tornado DDT off the apron to the floor to take him down. Del Rio escapes but walks into the spear to end this at approximately 11:00. Wow that was abrupt.
Rating: C+. This wasn’t terrible but dude, 11 minutes for this? That’s in the level of Cena/JBL at Mania 21. Not a bad match but it felt like a match that could have easily been on Smackdown as a regular main event. Alberto didn’t need to get the title yet so at least the right man won. Still though, 11 minutes?
Edge beats up the Rolls Royce post match. By that I mean he destroys it with a crowbar. Why Alberto doesn’t go after it is beyond me. Alberto yells for Christian for some reason. Oh ok Christian was helping with a ball bat. I need to pay more attention.
Cole talks about being in the main event and is in a suit, as is Jerry. They….they couldn’t really be putting that on last could they?
Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes
As Rhodes comes to the ring we get the video recap of this. In short, Rey hit Cody with a 619 with a metal knee brace that Cody exposed earlier in the match, injuring the Dashing features of Cody. If this is a few years later, look up Dashing Cody Rhodes for an awesome heel in 2010. Rey’s character this year: Captain America. Ok that’s not bad.
Rey “helps” Cody take the jacket off as Cody is all afraid of being seen. Rana takes Cody down but a shoulder block shifts the momentum immediately. Cody immediately goes for the knee which is a bit odd but whatever. Beautiful Disaster leaves Rey seemingly dead but it only gets two. I could definitely see this being the modern Bob Orton injury angle which could work for months if played up right.
A rana is eventually countered into the Alabama Slam for two. That’s one of the things I like about Cody: he incorporates things from his past into his offense, which is a sign of him growing. Also he stopped having the big Triforces on his boots which was definitely a face thing. Cody gives Rey a neck massage which I’d assume is to get his arms tingling right?
Mysterio tries to speed things up a bit but gets caught on top and it’s a delayed vertical suplex from the middle rope which is pretty awesome. That only gets two though. The crowd is mostly into this but is kind of quiet. Granted that’s what a superhero comeback is all about. Cross Rhodes is avoided and we hit the floor for a bit with Cody’s face being sent into the apron.
Back in the ring and a seated senton means we speed things up a little. Rey kind of looks like something you would see in a Captain America cosplay contest. Wheelbarrow suplex by Cody gets two. Rey finally gets him in 619 position but it gets caught and Cody hits a slingshot to send Rey’s throat/chest into the middle rope for two. Cody tries to take the knee brace off and manages to get it, meaning Rey’s knees are about to snap like a Kit Kat.
Rey fights him off to a bit and gets a moonsault press for two. Cody’s mask comes off and he gets sent into the 619 position. You can see Rey’s not moving the same without the knee brace. Rey goes up but the splash meets knees. Big kick to the head gets only two as this is a good match. Rey puts Cody’s mask on and I’m not sure if Cody knows it or not. Rey gets some running headbutts to send Cody reeling and a swan dive gets….two. Wow I would have thought that was the finish. The referee throws the knee brace out and Cody hits Cross Rhodes for the shocking (but good) pin at approximately 12:15.
Rating: B. I was into this and it was a solid match. Also, thank goodness Cody won here so he can continue his Phantom of the Opera kind of thing. I’m very pleased with this as Cody continues to be one of the best guys in the company at this point. I’d love to see him get a quick title feud with Edge but I doubt it’ll happen.
Snoop Dogg is with Teddy Long and Snoop is looking for talent for a tour he’s got coming up. Teddy has some WWE talent to audition for him. Regal does a rap and it’s again hilarious. Khali and Beth Phoenix do a song from Grease and get hooked more or less. Zach Ryder sings something that is apparently from a chick named Rebecca Black and Roddy Piper hits him with what might have been a coconut. Piper looks good.
Tatsu and Masters do We Will Rock You with Masters doing the pec dance to the drums. Horny is going to do a rap apparently but he can’t talk. Teddy and Snoop leave and Horny raps while the Bellas dance. At least we got the good looking twins.
Corre vs. Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show/Kane
The change of Kozlov to Kingston was kind of a surprise but I’m pretty sure if was officially announced. I can’t complain a bit there either as Kofi should be on the card. Santino vs. Slater to start us off here. Big kick by Santino misses so it’s off to Show who cleans a few rooms. You can’t really say cleans house for one guy.
Show rams into Slater in the corner but Jackson runs him over. Everything breaks down almost immediately and Barrett takes Trouble in Paradise. This is moving around too fast to call. Cobra time and it hits Santino. The Knockout Punch ends Slater and the match in about 1:40. Yeah there was a point to this. No rating of course. That punch was SICK in the replay.
Rock hits on Eve in his first appearance in 45 minutes. He talks about making magical moments. For instance whoever comes around the corner next (without Rock looking) is going to get a magical moment with Rock. And it’s Mae Young. I was thinking it would be her. She wants the People’s Strudel. Rock says that Mae should be after Moses’ strudel. Rock have Eve escort Mae to her seat. Mae spanks Rock for fun.
Rock does the around the corner thing again and IT’S AUSTIN!!!! I was hoping this would happen as it flat out needed to be done. This is like an old western. They’re both retired and it’s an incredible moment to say the least. They shake hands and say it was good to see each other. Totally AWESOME moment here and something that absolutely had to happen.
We recap Punk vs. Orton. In short, Orton punted Punk in the head two years earlier and cost Punk the title. Punk waited two years to get his revenge and sent the New Nexus after him. This more or less crippled the entire feud as it just died when Orton ran through Nexus the entire time. Oh and Orton had a bus for some reason and Punk hit him in the knee with a pipe or something so the leg is bad.
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Punk goes for the knee early but that gets him clotheslined. Out to the floor and Punk is sent into the steps but he jumps/steps over them which I don’t remember seeing before. He kicks the steps into the knee of Orton to take over. The fans chant for Orton as Punk hits a top rope cross body for two.
Orton fires back with the backbreaker and Punk is down a bit. He tries to fight out of the corner but Punk gets something like a jawbreaker onto the knee. That’s a new one. Orton gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk hammers away. Punk gives the sign for the GTS which of course doesn’t work as Punk does what any idiot villain does and walks around before he tries anything.
Randy escapes over the back and tries the RKO but gets kicked in the head for two instead. Punk goes to the outside but gets crotched. His reaction is awesome to say the least. The fans want a DDT off the top so Orton goes up. And the fans get something similar in the form of a superplex for two in a NICE callback to Orton’s papa (that was Bob’s finisher).
Punk fights back and actually gets the figure four around the post and does it to the correct leg! Leg lock back in the ring and it’s almost an Indian Deathlock. Orton fights out and gets the Angle Slam. Finally Cole doesn’t call it something stupid. Orton goes insane again and hits the Thesz Press to ZERO reaction. Punk fires back with kicks and a leg sweep and there’s the Anaconda Vice! The hold makes no sense given the knee work but it’s not going to be the finish anyway.
Orton is in trouble but he manages to roll out of it and into the ropes in a nice little counter. Punk goes to the apron and stands on the bottom rope because he’s not that intelligent. He gets sent into the post and the elevated DDT takes him down. Orton slams the mat and doesn’t break his arm this time. The face is awesome to say the least. He takes FOREVER though and you know it’s not hitting here.
Instead he backs up for the one legged punt because you know he can get a running start after not being able to stand a few minutes ago. Thank goodness Orton falls down on the approach. Punk looks all psycho and his hair is even freakier. He goes over to Punk and gets….not caught in the RKO as Punk shot out of the back. I thought it was a botch but that was intentional. Here’s your big RKO spot as Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into a nice RKO to end it at 14:40.
Rating: B-. I’m not a fan of Orton but this was pretty good stuff. They gave it some time and the knee worked pretty well as Punk went into the air rather than having to jump. Pretty good here but you kind of have to wonder where this goes from here as well as where Punk goes. Granted that’s the point of watching tomorrow I guess.
Rock is with Gene Okerlund (do your own caps) who says that Cena’s #1 fan is coming here to confront Rock tonight. And it’s Pee Wee Herman. Gene wears Cena gear and Herman does the Rock’s line. I don’t care for Herman so this was nothing at all.
Hall of Fame time. Abdullah can barely walk.
Sunny looks good for the most part. She needs to just flash the crowd and get it over with.
Animal in a tux looks weird. Ellering is there too, complete with sunglasses.
Drew Carey is murdered by the crowd and rightfully so.
Armstrong gets no reaction at all, probably because no one knows who he is.
Duggan gets a nice ovation and there’s a bowtie on his 2×4.
And now for the one that matters. Yep the roof is gone.
We get a Wrestlemania Recall….which is from Raw. It’s Cole throwing soda in Lawler’s face. I hope this is next and it is.
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
Booker T and JR are on commentary with Josh. They both get intros, I guess to buy the guys time. As JR is coming to the ring, Cole interrupts him, complete with an orange hoodie and headgear and shorts. I give up. Cole runs his mouth about Lawler being old and all that jazz. Oh and he runs down the barbecue sauce. Well at least this isn’t the main event like they hinted at. Cole keeps stalling for time for Lawler which is fine.
Swagger comes out to no reaction at all. We get the pushups but in mid push the glass shatters and Austin is here with ATV and I think a new shirt. Cole took off the hoodie and is in a singlet. For no apparent reason Cole jumps off the apron when Austin is charging around it and has to hide in the box. Lawler comes out to his regular music thank goodness. He looks a bit like Shawn with his attire.
Somehow this is the best built match of the night. Lawler is in his usual attire in the ring as Cole stands on his desk in the Cole Mine to warm up. Austin says ring the bell and sends Lawler after Cole. Swagger charges and gets sent into the post and then the barrier. Cole begs off and is close enough to a mic for us to hear him. He offers a handshake through a hole in the box. Is that like a glory hole for idiots?
Lawler pulls on Cole’s hand and rams his head into the box. Jerry finally climbs into the freaking box and beats the heck out of Cole. This is awesome. Jerry destroys him and gets him out of the box. Into the GM podium he goes and Jerry tosses him into the ring. Swagger gets up and drills Jerry to put him down. Cole gets something close to a baseball slide to the send Jerry down.
Ankle lock by Swagger when Austin is distracted. The comeback for this is going to be awesome. Austin counts incredibly slowly and Cole works on the knee. Cole might have a 3 Stooges tattoo on his back. That’s something I really didn’t want to know. The fans say Cole can’t wrestle. Well he’s not a wrestler so I think that’s ok. The fans think this is nonsense. Such an impatient generation.
Cole tries a Vader Bomb (screw that Swagger Bomb stuff) from the bottom rope and Jerry powers out of it. Jerry gets some punches in but Cole goes back to the leg. The fans say boring so Cole pulls a strap down and puts on the AnCole Lock. Jerry doesn’t seem to mind and kicks Cole off to wake up the crowd. He walks it off and Cole is caught.
A mudhole is stomped….kind of. Swagger throws in the towel and Austin is like WHAT? There’s a Stunner for Swagger as the fans are way into it now. And now it is time to pay. Austin looks at his watch and Cole slaps his hand away and SHOVES AUSTIN. Big right hand by Lawler and the beating is on.
The fans get behind Lawler as the punches come in hard and there’s a dropkick. With a point to the sign and the strap coming down it’s a jumping punch from the middle rope. That gets two as Jerry pulls him up. This has to end with the Piledriver. Jerry grabs the ankle lock and Cole taps. Austin makes sure it’s really a tap in a funny bit. Cole insists he gives up and there’s the bell. Dang it that should have been the Piledriver but the ankle lock ends it at approximately 14:00.
Rating: C. This was a letdown for me. First of all the ankle lock was a pretty weak finisher and Cole was on offense too long. It wasn’t bad but they needed to change a few things out there to really make it awesome. This needed a Piledriver but I can understand Cole being afraid to take it or whatever.
Post match it’s time for a beer bash and Booker gets in the ring. Jerry takes a beer but doesn’t drink it (he’s a known non-drinker). There’s a spinarooni for Mania and why is this about Booker T again? Stunner to Booker and more beer is consumed. Jerry hasn’t drank any it seems. We get an E-Mail of all things to interrupt this. The referee overstepped his boundaries and the winner is Michael Cole by DQ. Please let this be a late April Fool’s joke. Amazingly it’s not and Matthews gets a Stunner. And the show is officially killed.
This should have been easy and they screwed it up. I’m in awe of their utter stupidity here.
We get a video of Wrestlemania Week and I do not care. I’m still stunned at the utter stupidity of what they just did.
Lawler and Ross are on commentary now which is cool but they couldn’t do that without the whole stupidity thing there? Yes I’m harping on it but man that was idiotic.
We recap HHH vs. Undertaker with a package we’ve seen a dozen or so times now. In short, HHH wants to break the Streak because there’s nothing else for him to do.
Undertaker vs. HHH
There’s a rock version of Taker’s theme which is WAY too up tempo for him. Oh wait that’s for HHH. Oh man it’s For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. That’s cool but dude, it’s HHH. Ah there’s All About the Game. That’s more like it. He has an army and a crown and yeah you get where this is going. Still cool though. Taker does his usual awesome entrance to Johnny Cash.
The song loops as the entrance takes too long. Or maybe that was just the second verse. The lightning goes off when Taker removes his hat. The crowd is surprisingly quiet. This is no holds barred and they slug it out immediately. Taker grabs him by the head and fires him over the top with ease. We go to the floor and HHH actually wins a fistfight. His reward is being thrown into the steps.
We set up the announce table (Spanish of course) but HHH spears Taker into the Cole Mine to destroy it and put Taker down. Taker looks up at HHH and is all ticked off. Back in the ring and they slug it out again. Taker works on the shoulder and here comes Old School. That of course doesn’t work but this time you can’t blame it on him shouting OLD SCHOOL at least. Another clothesline sends Taker to the floor as HHH is favoring his left arm.
Now they set up the American announce table as Lawler is in an Austin shirt. Pedigree is countered as is the chokeslam but there’s a backdrop off the table to the floor and he’s holding that arm and wrist again. Oh yeah that thing slammed into the ground HARD. The fans chant 19-0 as the match more or less stops. Taker busts out the Taker Dive which at least cleared the ropes and hit HHH. It wasn’t great but at least he hit a person and not the floor.
We start using the steps and someone shouts about Shawn either being here or not being here to save HHH. Taker sets for a tombstone I think but gets countered and hit with a headbutt. Taker tries a running charge but gets caught by a spinebuster into the table/through the table, whichever you prefer. This has been big spot, lay down, big spot, lay down for about 8 minutes now.
Back in the ring and a chokeslam gets two. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets rammed into the corner. More dueling chants begin and HHH fires away with punches in the corner. Taker tries the Last Ride but HHH counters in a nice callback to Mania X7 (which had nothing to do with these two facing each other. That’s never happened at Mania. Silly people) Pedigree is reversed as is a big boot to the face, the latter being via a spinebuster for two.
HHH goes to the floor and grabs a chair which of course goes across the Game’s back. Pedigree out of nowhere gets two. Last Ride gets a long two as we’re in that same formula from earlier. Taker gives the throat slit but the Tombstone is of course….not reversed for two. HHH kicked out of the tongue sticking out thing! I know they’re wanting this to be epic and while it’s good they feel like they’re trying to be epic rather than actually being epic.
Taker sets for another Tombstone, this time on the chair. Instead it’s a DDT mostly on the chair to put both guys down. Somehow this has been going almost 20 minutes. They both struggle to their feet and there’s a decent Pedigree for a long two. If Scott Armstrong didn’t have the biggest hitch in his count this side of something with a very large hitch in his count, this would have been over a long time ago.
A third Pedigree is kicked out of as this is bordering on stupid here. We get it: you can kick out of the Pedigree now DO SOMETHING ELSE! Both guys are down and HHH gets the chair. BIG chair shot to the head of Taker and he’s in big trouble. Taker does his best Terry Funk shaking impression as HHH shouts what’s wrong with you. He gets grabbed by the throat for his troubles but Taker can’t hold it.
Taker says bring it on so HHH does a throat slit. Tombstone hits Taker and of course it gets two. They try to play this off as some huge thing but dude, no one thought that was going to end it. HHH goes to the floor and it’s sledgehammer time. HHH holds up the hammer but Taker pulls him down into the Hell’s Gate and HHH is in trouble. He drops the hammer and is in big trouble. HHH tries to stand but is fading fast. He gets the hammer again but can’t get a shot to the head. HHH TAPS OUT to end this at approximately 29:10 but I had some stream issues so I’m not sure how accurate that is to the second.
Rating: B. Well it was brutal, but at the same time did anyone really believe this was ending with anything other than a big sign that said 19-0? The whole big spot rest big spot rest got really annoying and it made the match feel a lot longer than it should have. Good stuff, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time it ran too long and that hurt it in my eyes.
Taker gets checked out by a trainer post match and they do the big exit with both of them leaving at the same time. Taker can barely walk and keeps falling down. He falls down next to the ring and they have to get a cart to take him out. I’m not sure if this is legit or not but I’m leaning towards it being so.
Good time for a Don’t Try This at Home no?
Wrestlemania 28 will be in Miami as we all knew.
Laycool/Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki
Please….make it short. Dolph is officially the business associate. Not sure if they had covered that before but it’s official here. At least Laycool looks incredible. Trish should never be allowed to not wear leather. And here’s the draw, Snooki. Oh dear. Well I guess she’s an improvement over Bieber. I can’t wait for like three years from now when this is totally dated.
The girls go at it early and the guys pull them off. Trish and Michelle start us off officially. Trish tries to tag in Snooki early but I think the small one doesn’t want in. Matrish leads to an attempt at a Faithbreaker but Trish counters into a facejam. McCool counters the Stratusphere and they fight on the buckle with both crashing to the floor. Everything breaks down and Morrison hits Starship Pain to the floor to take out Ziggler.
Off to Snooki and let the booing begin. She does a handspring elbow into the corner which is still a stupid move. A cartwheel into the WORST SPLASH EVER ends McCool at 3:15. Snooki was in the match for a total of 12 seconds. Note to future girls wanting to be a Diva: don’t bother marrying Undertaker or working to become awesome. Get on a bad reality show and get in fights in bars. You’ll get wins at Mania. No rating due to it being short and it ticking me off. Match was nothing special to say the absolute least. Perhaps the worst celebrity match ever.
There’s a new attendance record for the Georgia Dome of 71,617. That’s always cool to hear.
It’s time for the main event of Cena vs. Miz. Yes, the Miz is wrestling in the main event of Wrestlemania. BE JEALOUS! No recap at all and it’s time to go. I guess we’re running behind. Ah ok here’s a package as we see Miz’s rise to the top and interspersed with various world title wins at Mania. Miz is looking at a screen watching all this. We get the DEMON CHILD and clips of him on Real World and Tough Enough and doing all kinds of stupid things before he got serious and AWESOME as a result.
This gets the music video treatment about how everyone hates Miz but he keeps winning. Miz having his back to the camera the entire time is great. This transitions into a video about the feud with Miz constantly getting the better of Cena.
Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena
Miz runs through some things that look like balloons saying AWESOME. This is MIz’s moment and it’s working. Riley has the varsity jacket with him here and Miz has his coat also. Must be chilly in Atlanta. Cena’s big entrance this year: a full on gospel choir. We actually have a prayer with clips of Cena growing up and being awesome I guess. They actually say Jesus here which is a bit different. This takes a long time also, as has everything else tonight. After the prayer the choir actually sings Cena’s theme in full on gospel style. And then he sprints to the ring in a new shirt.
Cena is of course mostly booed out of the building. This is listed as Cena’s 8th straight Mania main event which is a relative term as some of them were in the middle of the card. The bell rings twice for no apparent reason and they lock up. Miz controls early but Cena gets a hip block to get us back to even. Cena with some nice technique to get a headlock but that doesn’t last long.
They’re in a long feeling out period here and Miz stomps away to end that. Miz takes over with basic stuff but gets caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Miz misses his running clothesline in the corner which hit earlier. Top rope Fameasser hits for two. Big boot to the head of Cena gets two. They botch something so Miz gets a dropkick to the ribs to send Cena to the floor.
Back in the ring and Cena starts his finishing sequence but can’t get the FU. Short DDT gets two for the champion. A Let’s Go Miz chant starts up as he escapes the STFU and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Miz unhooks the buckle which gets him nowhere. Cena gets the STF but Miz grabs the rope. Riley sends Cena into the exposed buckle and Miz gets the Skull Crushing Finale for a long two.
Down goes the referee and wouldn’t you know it that it hits just a second before the FU. Riley comes in with the briefcase and down goes Cena again. Naturally that only gets two as the fans are finally back into this. Miz goes for the case but hits Riley and walks into a HUGE Attitude Adjustment for TWO! Wow I would have bet on that being the ending there.
Out to the floor and Cena kills him with a running clothesline to send him over the barricade. Big old spear onto the concrete by the fans and that looked sick. They’re both dead and this is going to be a double count out. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? This can’t be. That had better be a legit injury or we’re not done yet.
And here’s Rock to make sure this doesn’t suck. There’s an e-mail and Rock says that it doesn’t matter what the GM thinks so this is restarting, no DQ, no countout, no time limit. Cena goes for the FU immediately but walks into the Rock Bottom and MIZ RETAINS!!! The pin was at 19:30 overall, counting the big stoppage.
Rating: C-. Even with the ending this was still pretty boring. They’re not hurt which is always a good thing but dude, did we need a false finish in something like this? It’s the main event of Wrestlemania for crying out loud. I get that you needed Rock out there, but make something better than that. I’m not impressed here at all which is hard to do with me at Mania
Miz holds up the title post match and Rock looks at him. The beatdown is on and it’s a People’s Elbow for Miz.
Overall Rating: C-. This was a VERY hit or miss Mania and it’s going to have a very mixed reaction I think. A lot of the booking is just kind of out there, namely Cole/Lawler. I get that they’re setting up for future shows but at the same time this is WRESTLEMANIA! There’s some good stuff but nowhere near enough to make this really work.
There are times when you just do certain things and this is one of them. Not impressed here at all and this is a huge fall down from last year. Rock helped, but there’s only so much he can do. Summerslam and Raw tomorrow better be AMAZING. The ending helps this but certainly doesn’t save it. WAY too rushed of a show and that’s the downfall of it. I’ll probably have more to say on it later but that’s my initial reaction.
Results
Edge b. Alberto Del Rio – Spear
Cody Rhodes b. Rey Mysterio – Cross Rhodes
Kane/Big Show/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella b. The Corre – Big Show pinned Slater after a punch
Randy Orton b. CM Punk – RKO
Michael Cole b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Steve Austin got involved in the match
The Undertaker b. HHH – Hell’s Gate
Snooki/John Morrison/Trish Stratus b. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler – Snooki pinned McCool after a splash
The Miz b. John Cena – Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock