Monday Night Raw
Date: June 3, 2013
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators; Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Back with more of the red guys here as we’re back in America this week. The main story is that HHH will be back in the ring tonight to face Curtis Axel, a mere two weeks after Axel did NOT put HHH on the shelf. This sounds like more of a storyline than a match, which is fine as long as HHH doesn’t kill the kid. Other than that we’ll get more Ryback vs. Cena build. Let’s get to it.

After a quick recap of everything that has happened to HHH in the past few weeks, here’s Stephanie McMahon to open things up. She talks about HHH getting beaten up by Lesnar and then collapsing during his match (basically saying what we saw in the video) before trying to come back tonight. Despite HHH being medically cleared, Stephanie is making a business decision and not letting him compete tonight. She knows HHH wants to fight Curtis Axel, “Who quite frankly is beneath HHH.” The fans chant for HHH but get Vince instead.

Vince says that HHH won’t be competing tonight and says that HHH has given everything he has to this business. Do the fans want HHH’s liver and spleen next? Vince reminds us that this is family entertainment and not a blood sport. Last week, Kofi Kingston was put through a table and the fans chanted one more time. There won’t be one more time for HHH tonight or any night, and Curtis Axel is still beneath HHH. Vince is then cut off by…..Shield?

Shield vs. HELL NO/Randy Orton

In case you were wondering what happened with the McMahons, Cole tells us that if you have the WWE App, you would have seen them leave the ring without incident. If that doesn’t make you want to download the App, I don’t know what does. This match is a result of Bryan cleaning house with the Shield to end Smackdown. A HUGE YES chant breaks out before the match as we start with Bryan vs. Ambrose.

Bryan hits his rapid fire kicks to the chest followed by some to the back before bringing in Kane. The low dropkick and the side slam get two for Kane as we see Tons of Funk and Ryder watching the match on the App. And it’s LIVE people! Another side slam gets two on Rollins this time but a Reigns distraction lets Seth dropkick Kane off the top as we take a break.

Back with Rollins cranking on Kane’s neck before bringing Ambrose back in. Dean pounds on Kane for a bit as well, only to have the monster hit a double suplex on both smaller members of the Shield. Hot tag off to Orton as the fans go NUTS. Randy snaps off some powerslams and a double Elevated DDT to Ambrose and Rollins but Seth breaks up the DDT on Reigns. Ambrose cranks on Randy’s neck for a bit as the match slows down again.

Off to Reigns for a full nelson to keep Orton in trouble. Dean comes back in and pounds away before handing it back over to Reigns for a chinlock. Randy rolls out of the chinlockery but it’s off to Rollins, who promptly jumps into a dropkick. The real hot tag brings in Bryan who goes nuts again, destroying everyone in riot gear that he can find. Some HARD kicks to Dean’s chest keep him down and a big kick to the head stuns him.

A top rope rana sends Ambrose onto Rollins and there’s the suicide dive to take out Reigns. The place is going NUTS for this. A missile dropkick gets two on Ambrose and there’s the NO Lock but Reigns and Rollins make the save. Everything breaks down and Reigns spears Kane down but it’s an RKO to Rollins. Reigns shoves Orton into Bryan though and the Bulldog Driver is enough to pin Daniel at 17:33.

Rating: B. The middle part was pretty dull but Bryan is the MAN right now and the fans are treating him as such. The ending to the match here is fine as Bryan was rolling but got beaten because of someone else on his team screwing up. As for Shield, are they actually capable of having a bad match? The more I see of them the less sure I am.

Post break Orton apologizes for costing Bryan the match, making Bryan yell at Kane. Bryan then goes off on Orton for thinking he’s the weak link. He thinks neither guy respects him, so Kane tries to yell some reality into him. Bryan says one match can solidify that he’s not the weak link. Since it’s clear that neither of them respect him, Bryan is going to beat the respect into someone tonight. Bryan is AWESOME right now and is totally nailing this character.

HHH arrives and goes into the McMahon dressing room, saying that he’s fighting Axel tonight. Stephanie tries to talk him out of it again, because Curtis Axel isn’t worth it. Vince says HHH isn’t being too cerebral right now and says don’t do something you’ll regret. Vince leaves them in the dressing room.

Usos vs. Prime Time Players

This is joined in progress after a break with the Usos (in face paint tonight) beating up Young. Off to Titus who takes I believe Jimmy down with a backbreaker before it’s off to Young again. Apparently the paint is to give the Usos an edge like their ancestors. Back to Titus for a front facelock and a cravate as Cole talks about being in Hangover III. A double tag brings in Jey vs. Darren and a Samoan drop takes Young down. The running Umaga attack in the corner gets two and the Superfly Splash ends Young at 4:49.

Rating: D+. I’m a big fan of the Usos and for the life of me I have no idea why they’re not on TV more often. They’re young, they have a good look, they’re part of the biggest wrestling family ever, they can move in the ring, they’re talented. Why don’t we see them on a regular basis? Samoans have been a fixture in wrestling for years so why not put them out there? The fans always react to the Siva Tao if nothing else.

Some Special Olympians are here.

Big E. Langston vs. Alberto Del Rio

For those of you counting, this is their fifth match (with the score at 2-2) in less than three weeks. Del Rio quickly clotheslines him out to the floor but gets taken down by a shoulder. Langston throws him into the barricade and runs him over again back inside. Del Rio fires back with some headbutts but jumps into a set of three backbreakers to put him right back down. Langston misses a charge into the corner and gets caught by a low superkick for two. There’s the armbreaker but Langston lifts him up and into the ropes for the break. Del Rio puts the hold back on but shifts the counter into a cradle for the pin at 4:49.

Rating: C. Del Rio continues to have chemistry with almost anyone he works with and Langston continues to show ridiculous potential. They need to get him away from Ziggler in a hurry as having him just playing a heavy is wasting a lot of his skills. The match was fine, but five times in two weeks is WAY too much.

Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is doing commentary and reading a book written by Mrs. JBL. Sheamus throws Cody to the apron for the ten forearms to the chest but Cody runs to the corner to hide. Sheamus tries a kick through the ropes but gets his leg wrapped around the buckle that hooks the ropes to the post. A knee to the head gets two for Cody but Sheamus comes back with a release front suplex. The top rope shoulder puts Cody down but the Brogue Kick hits ropes. Cross Rhodes can’t connect and Cody misses a moonsault press as well. White Noise puts Cody down again and the Brogue Kick finishes this at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Remember all the complaints I’ve made about Sheamus vs. Rhodes/Sandow in the past? Go read one of those because it’s the same stuff again. That is all.

Post match Sandow won’t shake Sheamus’ hand so Sheamus punches him.

HHH is leaving but he’s not happy with it. He’ll fight Axel next week instead.

We look at Kofi being injured by Ryback on Friday and being taken out of action for a few months.

Bryan kicks a table in the back but runs into Ryback. Ryback insults Bryan for being small and they’re having a match later.

Vince comes in to see Heyman and Axel but is disappointed that we’re not seeing the rematch with HHH either this week or next week. Paul is ready to leave but apparently Axel is going to have a match tonight with John Cena. It’s No DQ tonight as well.

Fandango vs. Great Khali

The fans are totally behind Fandango here as both guys dance a bit to start. Khali takes him into the corner for some chops followed by some clotheslines. Fandango bails to the floor to avoid the Plunge and starts walking out, only to be cut off by Miz. Wade Barrett pops up to blast Miz with the Bull Hammer as the match just ends at about 2:00.

The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Non-title again and Miz is fine after being laid out before the break. Miz pounds away to start but gets taken down by a big boot to the head. Barrett loads up the big boot in the ropes but is quickly sent to the floor instead. Back in and Miz gets two off a sunset flip before going after the knee. The Winds of Change get two for Wade…and here are Fandango and Summer for more dancing. The distraction lets Miz hook the Figure Four for the tap out at 3:27.

Rating: D. To any wrestlers that might read my site, I offer you a tip: if you make it to the WWE and someone offers you the Intercontinental Title, go join the circus as there’s a better future for you there. Also, can we please stop having the distraction lead to a quick win? That’s such a played out booking idea that I had the finish written the second Fandango’s music hit.

We recap the McMahon/HHH drama up to this point.

It’s time for the Jericho/Punk contract signing for Payback. Heyman is representing Punk here as you would expect. They sit at the table with Heyman listing off Punk’s accomplishments before Jericho cuts him off and finishes the list for him. Heyman signs and wants Jericho to sign so he can come to Chicago and be booed, heckled, and hated by fans that worship Punk because Punk is the real best in the world.

Jericho says maybe we should move the match to Summerslam in Los Angeles or to Madison Square Garden. Heyman says no so Jericho suggests right here in Hartford. Heyman says no to that so Jericho signs for Chicago. However he isn’t sure where we should file the contract. Jericho tells Heyman to stand up and open his jacket before filing the contract in Heyman’s pants.

Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Bella Twins

Kaitlyn and AJ start things off. AJ backs into the corner and elbows both dancing chicks before bringing in Brie. Off to Naomi for the Rear View and a rolling senton from Cameron for two. Naomi hits the ropes with a crossbody and the Bellas take over on her arm. Nikki stays on the arm until Naomi slugs her down and brings in Kaitlyn. The reverse DDT only gets one on Nikki but AJ drops to the floor instead of tagging. The spear finishes Nikki at 4:32.

Rating: C-. That’s on the Divas scale so this wasn’t half bad at all. The arm work went nowhere but when is the last time you remember psychology in a Divas match? They’re to the point where they can get through a match without looking completely horrible which is at least progress. The camera shots of the girls didn’t hurt either.

Kane can’t talk Bryan out of facing Ryback tonight. Bryan tells Kane to stay in the back too. Kane says he’s leaving and to call when Bryan has found his mind.

Video on the Wyatt Family, talking about monsters being real.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback

Bryan pounds away to start but gets slammed into the corner. A boot to the chest puts Bryan down but a splash hits knees. Ryback pounds him down some more, only to be pulled into a half crab by Bryan. Daniel hooks a kind of Indian deathlock and pounds Ryback’s face to fire up the crowd. The moonsault out of the corner has Ryback even more confused but he clotheslines Bryan to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Bryan being slammed into the corner again so Ryback can stomp his chest. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Ryback misses a charge into the corner and hits the post. Bryan fires off some dropkicks for two but Ryback easily kicks out. A missile dropkick sets up a VERY long swan dive for two more. Bryan fires off the kicks but gets caught in a wicked powerbomb.

Ryback goes for another powerbomb but gets caught in the NO Lock out of nowhere. He makes the rope after a VERY long time in the hold and falls out to the floor but Bryan can’t follow up. The suicide dive is caught with Bryan being sent into the announce table. Ryback rams him spine first into the post over and over, knocking Bryan out cold. Instead of covering though, Ryback powerbombs him through a table for the DQ at 15:06.

Rating: C+. These two have some solid chemistry together as Bryan was doing a great job at making you believe he could somehow make Ryback tap. The one thing I didn’t like here though was the commentators saying Bryan could do the impossible. Bryan has won a Triple Crown and just lost a title two weeks ago. Ryback has won a total of nothing noteworthy, so why would it be impossible for Bryan to win?

Post match Ryback loads up another table but Cena makes the save. Axel comes out for the main event as we take a break.

John Cena vs. Curtis Axel

No DQ. Cena starts fast but Heyman trips him up, allowing Axel to take over. The Hennig neck snap puts Cena down and Axel demands a chair. As you would guess it winds up hitting Axel in the back and we head to the outside. Cena loads up the announce table but has to stop for the sake of the count. Back inside and Axel gets in a chair shot to Cena’s ribs and back outside we go. Another chair shot misses Cena and two more miss inside until Cena dropkicks the chair into his face for two.

Cena wedges the chair between the top and middle ropes but gets clotheslined in the back of his head to give Axel control again. Cena comes back with his finishing sequence, only to miss a charge into the corner and crash into the chair. He just beats the count back in but gets beaten down by a bunch of chair shots from Axel. The McGillicutter onto the chair gets two but the PerfectPlex is countered into the STF.

Axel can’t make the rope, but Heyman hands Axel an iPad to blast Cena in the head to break the hold. They head outside again but Heyman distracts Cena long enough to break up the AA. Cue Ryback to beat Cena down and drive him through the table set up earlier for the countout win for Axel at 13:00.

Rating: C+. This was a solid match and there was no other possible ending than the one we got. The key thing here was that Axel hung with Cena every step of the way and again Cena couldn’t actually beat him. This was exactly what they should have done as you can’t have Axel pin Cena, but giving him a win while advancing Ryback vs. Cena is the right call.

Overall Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade. The show certainly isn’t great, but you can’t really call it bad either. The main stories were advanced in a logical way, but they’re not what I would call interesting. There’s definitely an idea here though which is a big upgrade over some of the stuff we’ve been seeing lately. The in ring work continues to be good, but it’s the writing holding WWE back which is a bad thing. This show grew on me as it went on, which isn’t something I can remember saying in a very long time. Decent show here, but it’s firmly capped at that level.

Results

Shield b. HELL NO/Randy Orton – Bulldog Driver to Bryan

Usos b. Prime Time Players – Superfly Splash to Young

Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. Langston – Cradle

Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick

Fandango vs. Great Khali went to a no contest

The Miz b. Wade Barrett – Figure Four

Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls b. AJ Lee/Bella Twins – Spear to Nikki Bella

Daniel Bryan b. Ryback via DQ – Ryback powerbombed Bryan through a table

Curtis Axel b. John Cena via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 30, 2011
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

Three weeks out from Capitol Punishment and we now have some new stories set up. It’s looking like we’re setting up some form of Truth vs. Cena at the PPV which is probably the best option right here. Other than that it’s kind of hard to say where we’re going with major matches as other than that, Show vs. Alberto is probably coming later with the knee injury angle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a tribute to Memorial Day and soldiers that have died in combat. Nothing wrong with that.

And now we have a black screen. Oh wait here’s R-Truth at a merchandise stand destroying stuff. And never mind as we’re gone again with a graphic saying there are technical difficulties. Ok now he’s destroying the stand with no audio. He messes with a concession stand and we cut to black again. We have some background audio but whatever he’s saying into the microphone isn’t heard.

Cole and Lawler are talking but their words don’t match their movements. Lawler says it’s something to do with the conspiracy. Now Truth is coming down the steps in the audience and yelling at people in Cena gear. There goes the audio again. Truth comes down to a family in Cena gear and the audio is way out of sync. He calls the kid little Jimmy and the kid’s father big Jimmy. The father says What’s Up and Truth isn’t happy. The sound sounds like it’s in a tunnel or something and is about 8 seconds ahead of the video.

He’s in the ring now and ranting about how the fans are the problem instead of him. It’s about Little Jimmy apparently. Here comes Cena as Vince must be losing his mind right now. Cena says that Truth is losing it because he thinks everyone is named Jimmy and there is no conspiracy. The audio is in sync now, about 10 minutes into the show. Truth says it’s the fans and Cena that are crazy, not Truth.

The fans chant for Cena and the picture is still jumping a bit. Cena says that these are the greatest fans in the world and they agree that Truth should be in a straightjacket. Cena says he has no problem knocking some sense back into Truth. Truth wants a match so all the little Jimmys can watch him beat Cena down. Cue the GM for an E-Mail read by Cole and the main event is Truth vs. Cena with no little Jimmys allowed at ringside. Truth thinks it’s a joke and says Cena will get got.

Kharma will speak tonight.

Dolph vs. Kofi next.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Cole says he’s thankful for being back at ringside to call this show. Dolph is blonde again which is a big improvement for him. Technical stuff to start as Lawler says Vickie looks good tonight. I know they were having technical difficulties but dang man they’re messing with Lawler’s words now. Slower paced match than was probably expected. Ziggler takes him down with a shoulder block but Kofi speeds things up a bit.

The referee has an elbow pad on for some reason. Cole keeps sucking up to Vickie as Kofi takes over a bit. No one has really had an extended advantage yet. Kofi tries his jump into the punches in the corner but Dolph moves, allowing Kofi to land on the top rope. Dolph shoves him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Dolph holding an armbar and pulling Kofi back down by the hair. Elbow drop gets two and we go to a chinlock. Stinger Splash in the corner misses for Dolph and Kofi speeds things up again. He can’t get the SOS but the jumping clothesline does hit. There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. Sleeper almost goes on and Kofi hits a pendulum kick. Top rope cross body misses and a Fameasser gets a close two. Small package gets two for Kofi but he walks into the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C+. This got a lot better near the ending but the first part of it was kind of uninspiring stuff. Not a great match or anything but it’s nice to see them get about ten minutes to go out and let a match build upon itself instead of being like three minutes long. Not bad but nothing great, especially compared to what they did on Smackdown last year.

Here’s Alberto in an Audi. We get a clip from last week where Big Show was hit by the car driven by Ricardo. Part of the clip shows Alberto was driving and Ricardo switched places with him in the background. Ricardo explains his side of the story in Spanish. Alberto says bad things happen to bad people. They owe him money for damaging his car and Ricardo will send them the bill. Get well soon Big Show. So it took almost 8 minutes to say “I’m not sorry”?

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Bella Twins

Eve vs. Brie to start as Eve does her gymnastics. She hooks some kind of a choke/arm lock on but Twin Magic prevails. The Bellas beat down Eve for a good while as the crowd really doesn’t seem to care. There’s the tag to Kelly who does what is supposed to be a Thesz Press I think. Kelly’s belt goes flying off and she gives whichever Bella that is a Stinkface. Everything breaks down and the K2 ends let’s say Nikki at 2:56. Just your typical Divas match with the looks being the only thing of note.

There’s a cookout in Nebraska. No real reason for it being shown but it’s the second time we’ve seen it tonight.

Cole is in the ring to talk to Riley about his attack last week. The Raw GM has apparently signed Alex Riley again. We see the beatdown on Miz from last week. Here’s Riley with his own theme song and a decent reaction from the crowd. Cole yells at Riley about how he betrayed Miz after Miz had done so much for him. What about Miz apparently? Miz looked at Riley like a brother and Cole wants to know how Riley can do what he did to Miz last week.

Riley says he’s never felt better and Cole suggests Riley beg Miz for forgiveness. Cole rants on him a bit more and Riley cuts him off. Riley says Cole has a big mouth and is starting to get annoying just like Miz. Cole calls Riley a bastard an Riley grabs him. He of course takes too long and here’s Miz for the beatdown. He looks manly in pink. Miz tries to get a kick in but Riley takes him down. Miz tries to run but Riley takes him down in the aisle and continues the beating. Riley throws him onto the table and Miz runs into the crowd and out the door as Riley stands tall in the ring.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Ryan is with Punk here. Cole can’t wait to tell us that a guy on American Idol wore a Punk shirt. You know, for all the WWE fans that watch American Idol. Punk takes over to start but gets caught in a kick to the chest and a headscissors. Into the corner but Punk gets out of the way and sends Rey to the floor. Rey gets on the apron but Ryan sends him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Punk holding Rey in something like a Gory Stretch for a bit. Rey escapes but a headscissors is countered into a backbreaker for two. Punk hammers away but Rey manages to dropkick him into 619 position. CM hits the floor but Rey hits a suicide dive to send Punk over the announce table. Back in Rey hits the seated senton and the springboard cross body for two. A sweet pinning combination gets two.

Big spin kick misses and Punk gets another backbreaker for two. Punk loads up the GTS but Rey counters into a rana to set up the 619. Ryan blocks it so Rey dropkicks him to the floor. Rey tries to skin the cat back in but Punk catches him in the GTS position. Rey counters again but a big kick to the head is enough for Punk to pin him at 9:05.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as they let both guys do their thing. Punk and Nexus’ push continues and it’s definitely not a bad thing. Also seeing Rey lose is always a plus as it gets a good deal annoying to see him beat every single person he’s in there with. Either way, good stuff here and Punk’s push continues, which is a good thing.

We get a clip of Austin on Jimmy Fallon.

Here’s Kharma to explain what happened last week. Her voice is a lot softer than you would expect. Her dream was to be a WWE Superstar (not Diva) and here she is. She tried out for season 2 of Tough Enough and JR apparently told her she was too fat to be a Diva. She went to Japan where she cleaned floors for training. She went to every wrestling promotion in the world (no mention of TNA) before WWE called.

Her other dream was to be a mother. She’ll be a mother because she is currently with child. This is a high risk business and she can’t risk anything happening to her because it’s a high risk sport. She’ll be back though. Here are the Bellas to make fun of her. They say they’re impressed that she found a guy to hook up with. It must bother her to not be able to beat them up right now. They make fat jokes and the Bellas try to run. Kharma will be back in a year and she hopes they’ll still be here because then she has a new dream. Her music plays her out.

We get the really stupid press conference promo on Capitol Punishment. At least mix it up a bit. I think this one is different but still, the joke is over.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger hammers away to start but an attempt at a belly to back suplex puth both guys on the floor. Back in and it’s all Swagger so far with him hammering away on the back of Bourne. Rather slow match here but Bourne tries to speed things up a bit, only to walk into a sidewalk slam. Swagger keeps smacking him in the head and seemingly wasting time. And yep there it is as Bourne grabs a victory roll for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match there to have Swagger mess up and continue this feud with Bourne. I hope this leads to a face turn for Swagger as his character can only go so far as a heel. He has the talent but they haven’t really gone anywhere with it. Pretty much a nothing match but with 3 minutes what can they do?

Truth talks to himself some more.

Cena talks to Ryder who looks like he has something resembling the IC Title.

R-Truth vs. John Cena

We do get part of the segment to open the show from earlier tonight with working audio. Cena’s music hits at 10:58 so this is going to be a pretty short match. Cena sends him to the floor almost immediately and Truth rants at some fans. Truth gets something going but is sent to the floor again where he runs his mouth some more. They’re intentionally not having a ton of contact here.

There are the dueling chants as Cena gets going. At least he’s not gone get got. Cena takes him to the floor again and Cena gets frustrated. Truth escapes the Attitude Adjustment and hits the crowd this time. Cena goes after him but gets caught with a shot to the head and it’s a count out win for Truth at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Not even a match really as there might have been a total of 30 seconds of contact the entire time. Still though they’re setting up for later on, likely with a PPV title match coming up. If that’s the case then this is fine as the point was to not have them actually do anything yet. Not even a match though so the grade means nothing really.

Truth goes back into the crowd and throws soda in the face of the fans from earlier. Cena gives them his wristbands to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a rather good show overall with the pacing being far better than it’s been in recent weeks and a good deal of wrestling to go with it. Truth being all insane is a nice touch to his character as he’s playing that character to perfection. A lot of stuff was advanced tonight and we got a high amount of wrestling too. What more can you ask for? Very solid show here indeed.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – K2 to Nikki Bella

CM Punk b. Rey Mysterio – Kick to the head

Evan Bourne b. Jack Swagger – Victory Roll

R-Truth b. John Cena via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon at:

Extreme Rules 2013
Date: May 19, 2013
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is a card that has gotten a long time to build itself up, yet the top matches are still pretty weak. The main events tonight are Ryback challenging John Cena in a last man standing match and HHH facing Brock Lesnar inside a cage. The rest of the card has been built up far better than these matches and should be much more entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody starts fast by trying to jump Miz, only to be caught in a flapjack and a backslide for one. A clothesline puts Rhodes down but a kick to the face misses Cody, allowing him to hit a quick hot shot for two. The release front suplex gets two for Rhodes and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Back up and Cody pounds away before putting on an armbar.

A rollup gets two for Rhodes and it’s back to the bodyscissors. Miz fights up and hits some kicks to the ribs and head before getting a near fall off a sunset flip. Miz escapes CrossRhodes but the figure four is broken up as well. Cody dives off the ropes and lands in the figure four for the tap out at 4:52.

Rating: D+. This was nothing special and was the same kind of match you could see on any given Raw. Miz’s problem at this point is he has no reason to be considered a face other than the announcers treat him like one. He’s just a guy out there wrestling and the same could be said of Cody. That makes for a really dull set of matches, as there’s no reason to care about either guy and the matches aren’t all that great in the first place.

The opening video focuses on the main events and how tonight is different from the other nights of the year.

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

This is a rematch from Wrestlemania where Fandango won his debut match in a major upset. Jericho goes after him to start and pounds on Fandango’s head to send the dancer out to the floor. Chris follows him out and sends Fandango into the barricade before dancing on the announce table. Back in and Jericho stomps away at Fandango to send him back to the floor. Fandango gets back in and gets a boot up to stop a charging Jericho in the corner to take over.

After a kick to Jericho’s ribs we hit the chinlock, only to have Fandango hit him in the ribs for another near fall. A slingshot legdrop gets two for Fandango and it’s back to the chinlock. Jericho fights up and hits some shoulder blocks followed by the top rope ax handle for two. Fandango kicks out of the Walls so Jericho goes up top for a crossbody, only to have Fandango roll through for a two count.

Fandango kicks Jericho in the face to keep him down before loading up the guillotine legdrop. Chris rolls away though and hits the Lionsault for a near fall. Can that even be called a finishing move anymore? Fandango tries a sunset flip out of the corner but gets caught in the Walls of Jericho, only to grab the ropes a second later. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and Fandango goes up, only to dive into the Codebreaker for the pin at 8:32.

Rating: C+. This was better than their match at Wrestlemania and the ending looked good. Fandango isn’t going to lose his credibility now as he won the original match, which is what WWE usually gets backwards in their booking of these characters. Good opener here and the fans are fired up now.

Sheamus says that the trucks Henry has been pulling around don’t hit back like he does. Tonight, the Celtic Warrior goes extreme.

Video from Raw of Ryback attacking Cena’s bad leg.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose

Kofi is defending. Rollins and Reigns walk back up into the crowd to keep this as an actual one on one match. Feeling out process to start with Kofi trying a quick Trouble in Paradise but Dean grabs the rope. A hiptoss sends Ambrose down and Kofi pounds away in the corner. Dean comes out of the corner with a clothesline and drops an elbow for one. With Kofi against the ropes, Ambrose hits a hard dropkick for a near fall. Ambrose talks trash and puts on a crossface chicken wing of all things, complete with a grapevine.

Kofi fights up and sends Ambrose face first into the buckle to escape before dropping him with a dropkick. Boom Drop connects but Ambrose backs away before Trouble in Paradise can launch. SOS gets two on Dean and Kofi goes up top, only to be crotched down and caught with a butterfly superplex for two.

Ambrose charges into a kick to the face in the corner and there’s a top rope cross body for two for the champion. Dean goes to the apron and there’s Trouble in Paradise but it knocks Ambrose to the floor. Kofi throws him back in for two but another Trouble in Paradise only hits ropes. The bulldog driver gives us a new champion at 6:45.

Rating: C+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be. Kofi was given the title to drop it to someone like Ambrose and he did that just fine. Kingston is the kind of guy who can bounce back no matter who he loses to so he’ll be just fine. This should be the first of many titles for Shield and it’s a very good sign that they’re getting gold this soon.

Shield comes out to celebrate post match but doesn’t beat Kofi down.

We look at Henry vs. Sheamus, which is built around Henry displaying his power and Sheamus outsmarting him. Tonight they’re tied together with a strap and you have to drag your opponent around the ring and touch all four corners in succession (meaning that if you get three but your opponent breaks your momentum, you have to start over again) to win.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

There are lights in each cover to keep track of who has touched which with Sheamus having green lights and Henry having red. Sheamus trips Henry down to start and Mark is already ticked off. They slug it out and Sheamus goes back to the leg to put Henry down again. Sheamus gets one corner but Henry easily pulls him to the middle of the ring to break the streak. Henry gets smart by hogtying Sheamus’ feet together, only to have Sheamus break the streak after one buckle.

Sheamus knocks him over the top and out to the floor, only to have Sheamus get on the apron and pop Henry in the face. In a smart move, Sheamus runs the apron to get three straight buckles, only to have Henry take him down with a clothesline. Back in and Henry puts Sheamus on his shoulder before walking around to the corners. Sheamus is touching them as he goes along though and it’s 3-3. Henry catches on though and headbutts Sheamus down, breaking both streaks. Sheamus comes back with forearms to the face and drops a bunch of knees to slow Henry down.

We finally get to what we wanted to see: Sheamus whipping Henry with the strap. A beaten down Henry has trouble stopping Sheamus from getting to the first three buckles but Sheamus charges into a spinebuster to break his momentum. Back to the floor with Sheamus pulling Henry into the post in a smart move. They go back inside with Sheamus getting three but getting caught in the World’s Strongest Slam. Before Henry can drop Sheamus though, the Celtic Warrior bails out and Brogue Kicks Henry down, allowing him to hit the fourth buckle at 7:58.

Rating: C-. This was pretty underwhelming given what was expected of them. The problem with these matches is the same every time: it becomes about strategy instead of the violence that the match was built up on. Strap matches are always better when the guys get to destroy each other, but that might be interesting so we better not do that here.

AJ is on the phone with Dolph when Kaitlyn comes up. Apparently AJ has said she’s too distraught to face Kaitlyn so AJ makes fun of the secret admirer. Kaitlyn calls her Looney Tunes and AJ is mad. Kaitlyn quotes Porky Pig which AJ calls appropriate and the beating is on.

Here are Colter and Swagger with Zeb complaining about the IRS and AP phone tapping scandals before ripping into the St. Louis Cardinals for having too many Latin players.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

This is an I Quit match for the #1 contendership. Del Rio hits a fast clothesline to send Swagger to the floor. A flying knee takes Jack down on the floor and it’s already weapons time. Del Rio’s first choice is a kendo stick but Del Rio gets caught in a belly to belly to put him down. Swagger pulls the barricade covering off but Alberto sends him into the steps before Jack can do anything else.

Alberto goes after the arm as is his custom before stomping it against the steps. Back in and Swagger gets in some kendo stick shots to give Jack control. The fans want Ziggler but they get more kendo stick shots to Del Rio’s leg. Swagger ties Del Rio’s arms in the ropes and pounds away at his chest with the stick. Alberto gets his arm free and catches Swagger in the armbreaker while in the ropes, only to fall backwards onto the floor.

Jack brings in a chair but gets caught by an enziguri to put him down. Del Rio fires off his usual clotheslines and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by the low superkick. Swagger gets caught in the ropes and Del Rio pelts his back with the stick before hitting the Backstabber for good measure. The armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly suplex and the gutwrench suplex puts Del Rio down again. He still won’t quit but the no’s are getting weaker.

Another powerbomb puts Del Rio down but he grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere. Remember that rope breaks don’t count here as they mentioned on Raw. Swagger counters into the Patriot Lock but Del Rio still won’t give up. Swagger grapevines the leg but Del Rio won’t quit. Out of nowhere, Colter grabs the white towel that Ricardo was carrying and throws it in, which counts as Del Rio quitting, giving Swagger the win at 9:25.

Actually scratch that as another referee comes out and says that Colter threw it in. We look at a replay and the referee says if Del Rio can continue, the match will restart. Del Rio says let’s continue so Swagger goes after the leg again. Alberto fires off a superkick to the arm and puts on the armbreaker but Swagger won’t say it. Scratch that as he does quit at 13:50.

Rating: C. Well that helped absolutely no one at all. I’m not sure what in the world the point of the false finish was given that it was resolved in literally two minutes. Swagger taps out to Del Rio again which continues to make him look worthless in this persona. I’m guessing this allows them to do the threeway anyway, making this match pretty much pointless all around.

Ryback says all Cena has left are words, but Cena is a liar. Tonight Ryback Rules and he wins the title.

Tag Titles: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. HELL NO

This is Texas Tornado rules, meaning all four men are in the ring at the same time. The fact that there were some deaths a few days ago due to tornadoes in Texas makes this bad timing for this gimmick. Kane and Bryan are defending. It’s a big brawl to start as you would expect with the champions taking over. Bryan puts Rollins in the surfboard and Kane adds in a low dropkick for two.

Kane gets double teamed down in the corner and then Bryan gets the same treatment. Reigns loads up a powerbomb off the middle rope but Bryan counters into a rana to put everyone down. Kane grabs both Shield members by the throat before shoving them to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit the suicide dive to take both guys out. The champions take turn hitting clotheslines on both guys in the corners before Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Rollins, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat for two.

Bryan gets the NO Lock on Reigns but Rollins finally makes the save. A chokeslam puts Rollins down but Roman catches Kane with the spear. Back up and Reigns shoves Kane into Bryan, only to get caught around the throat. Seth comes in off the top with a knee to Kane’s head, allowing Reigns to hit a second spear. Bryan makes the save but can’t get the NO Lock on Reigns. Rollins makes the save so Reigns can put Bryan in a torture rack. Seth comes off the top with a knee to the chest, good for the pin and the titles at 7:24.

Rating: C+. Again this was ok but nothing great. They could have used another five to ten minutes here but for some reason they’re flying through these matches tonight. Shield winning was the only logical conclusion as there was nothing left for Bryan/Kane to do with the belts at this point. Decent but not great here.

We look at the pre-show match.

There’s going to be a post show with Mick Foley, Wade Barrett, Titus O’Neil and Renee Young.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

This is an Extreme Rules match, meaning anything goes. Orton agreed to trust Big Show at Wrestlemania but annoyed Big Show by taking the tag himself, causing Show to knock Orton out. Orton gets a big reaction as the hometown boy. Show shrugs off an early flurry by Orton before running Randy down with a big shoulder. JBL incorrectly says that Orton’s dad was in the main event of the first Wrestlemania. He was at ringside but not in the match.

We head to the floor with Orton getting in some kendo stick shots, only to have Show take the stick away and break it over his knee. Orton pulls out another stick but Show breaks that one as well. Show puts Orton up against the announce table for a LOUD chop, only to be rammed face first into the post to give Orton a breather. It’s ladder time but Show slams it off Orton’s head to put Randy down again.

Back inside and Orton’s shoulder hits the post but Randy comes back with a dropkick. Orton pounds away in the corner but Show easily picks him up and slams him down for two. Show throws the ladder inside and gets a few chairs for good measure. He sets up the chairs in the corner and bridges the ladder across them like a mini platform. Show lays Orton on the ladder but misses a Vader Bomb and crushes the ladder, giving Orton two.

The Elevated DDT connects and Orton goes into his place. The fans get all fired up and there’s the RKO but Big Show kicks out at two. That’s one of the few finishers that has been protected over the years so it had to be kicked out of eventually, as in WWE finishers mean nothing anymore.

Orton gets another chair and cracks Show in the back with it over and over again. They head back inside for a shot to the chest, but Big Show hits a spear to put Orton down. Not that it matters though as Orton kicks him in the face and hits an RKO on the chair. Instead of covering though, Orton shakes his head and has a freaky smile on his face. The Punt makes its return and that’s enough for the pin at 13:05.

Rating: B-. This was the match of the night so far but even still it wasn’t all that great. The Punt was a nice addition but I’m rather surprised that they would allow it given what happened to Ziggler recently. Still though, not bad here and Orton winning was the right move for the hometown crowd.

We recap Cena vs. Ryback. At Wrestlemania, Cena won the title while Ryback lost to Mark Henry. The next night Ryback turned on Cena due to Cena constantly leaving him to be beaten down by Shield. Cena injured his ankle on a European tour so tonight it’s a last man standing match, playing to Ryback’s advantage.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback

Last man standing, which means you have to keep your opponent down for a ten count to win. Also Cena is defending if that wasn’t clear. Ryback shoves Cena down to start and the fans chant Goldberg at the challenger. Cena’s ankle is strong enough to survive a leapfrog and there’s a bulldog to take Ryback down. After Ryback hits some shoulders in the corner, he catches Cena diving off the middle rope in a powerslam for a six count. A gorilla press puts Cena down for eight.

Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.

The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Ryback again counters the AA. A weak spear puts Cena down but Cena pops back up and hits a powerbomb of all things for an eight. Back up and Cena puts him in a kind of choke hold, only to be countered into a spinebuster. That and the Meathook are enough for a seven but Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere. Ryback is out but Cena is pulling in another table just in case. He’s up at eight and Ryback is all fired up.

Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Cena escapes and hits the AA through the table to put both guys down. Both guys get up at nine and Cena goes up, only to get caught in a Shell Shock. Cena gets up at nine and they head to the floor where Cena plows Ryback through the barricade but only for a nine. They head into the crowd where Ryback rips up what looks like a hockey board and knocks Cena senseless with it. It’s still not enough though and Cena puts on a sleeper.

After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.

Ryback again gets up at eight but the AA is countered, allowing Ryback to drive Cena through a the set (as in through the electrical light grid and off camera). Both guys are out behind the set with a bunch of glass under them. The referee asks for medics and Cena is out cold as Ryback is helped to his feet. Shouldn’t that count as Cena not being up and Ryback winning? The match is thrown out at about 24:00.

Rating: B. That’s a pretty cheap (yet good looking) ending as Cena couldn’t keep Ryback down and now we’re going to get a rematch at Payback. It was certainly entertaining though, which is mostly because of how much more time it got than any other match. That’s the problem with a lot of the matches tonight: they’ve been WAY too short.

Ad for Payback in four weeks.

We recap HHH vs. Lesnar. They’ve been feuding for a year at this point, trading wins at Summerslam and Wrestlemania. Lesnar then trashed HHH’s office and tonight is the rubber match.

The cage has a new design and is higher than the usual one.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

You can win by pin, submission or escape. HHH jumps Lesnar in the aisle and rams him into the cage before HHH’s entrance music even starts. They get inside the cage with Brock in big trouble early on. A spinebuster puts Lesnar down as JBL goes through Brock’s MMA history. Brock counters the Pedigree with a backdrop into the cage before ramming the Game’s head into the steel. HHH is thrown into the cage and Brock is already in full control.

The Game sends him into the cage but Brock just smiles and rams him right back into the steel. Brock misses a flying knee into the cage and shouts to Heyman that his knee is hurt. HHH goes up top but Brock is there to meet him. Lesnar is shoved back down though and the knee is hurt again. The facebuster puts Brock down again as HHH is calling some loud spots tonight.

Brock counters the Pedigree attempt into the Kimura but HHH goes back to the knee to escape the hold. A big clothesline puts HHH down and Brock wants the door opened, but a chop block by HHH puts him down again. Now HHH goes for the door but Heyman slams the door on his head. An F5 gets two and Brock tells Heyman to get him a chair. Lesnar hits Trips with the chair but Brock’s knee is too hurt to keep going. Another F5 attempt fails as the knee gives out.

Now HHH gets the chair and beats on Brock’s knee to send Lesnar into the corner in a heap. A quick Kimura attempt gets Lesnar nowhere and it’s Figure Four time. The ropes mean nothing (Heyman: “BREAK THE FRIGGIN HOLD!”) so Brock has to turn the hold over to escape. With HHH down, Brock tries to climb over the top but HHH gets a chair shot to the bad leg to bring him down. HHH has a big dumb grin on his face and climbs to the top where he pulls out a camouflaged sledgehammer.

Brock gets the hammer away but HHH takes him down and puts on a Sharpshooter of all things. I don’t think I’ve ever seen HHH use that. It’s clear that HHH doesn’t have a lot of experience with the hold as it’s a pretty ugly version. Heyman comes into the ring and gets caught in a Pedigree, but there’s one for Brock as well. That only gets two so HHH gets the hammer, only to have Heyman hit him low. A sledgehammer shot to the face puts the Game down but Brock doesn’t cover. Brock hits a one legged F5 for the pin at 20:10.

Rating: B. Not bad and probably their best match yet, but at the end of the day we’re celebrating the fact that HHH didn’t put himself over Brock Lesnar in a cage. The fact that we’re a year into this feud (with no guarantee that it’s over) and HHH almost beat him in what should be Brock’s signature match is a sad reality. Good match but it didn’t need to exist.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. On one hand, it’s certainly not awful and there are some solid matches on the card. However, most of the matches felt like afterthoughts to the main events which were matches that weren’t all that interesting coming in. The main events are good examples of good matches that don’t make up for the lame buildup to them. At the end of the day, people weren’t that interested in either of the matches but the payoffs were both good. Decent enough show but it could have been WAY better.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Fandango – Codebreaker

Dean Ambrose b. Kofi Kingston – Bulldog Driver

Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Sheamus touched all four corners

Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger – Cross Armbreaker

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. HELL NO – Torture Rack/Top Rope Knee Drop Combination to Bryan

Randy Orton b. Big Show – Punt

Ryback vs. John Cena went to a no contest

Brock Lesnar b. HHH – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

At least in North America.  According to Meltzer, it had 750,000 North American buys, putting it slightly ahead of last year’s show.  It also made approximately $5 million more than last year.

WWE really is dying with Cena on top though.  No one would EVER pay to see him in the main event of Wrestlemania in a match where it was pretty obvious he was winning the title.

I’m rather surprised but also rather pleased with these results so far.

Love him or hate him, that’s just awesome.  Period.

Go ahead and disagree.  Please.  Try to.

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 23, 2007
Location: Earl’s Court, London, England
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is back in England and it’s being reviewed for one reason: this is the Cena vs. Michaels hour long match which is more or less the match where Cena proved that he was in fact not human. Other than iron man matches, I think this would be the longest match in modern company history unless I’m overlooking it and it’s nearly 5am so I probably am. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Shane to open things up. He says that he’s here for a fight but not with Lashley due to what happened last week. We get a video of the Milan Miracle, where a “fan” named Santino Marella came in for an IC Title match with Umaga and won the title with a little help from Lashley. This is fallout from Mania where Lashley beat Umaga and caused Vince to lose his hair.

Shane talks about how a fan is going to get a chance to face a dragon, just like St. George since it’s St. George’s Day. It’ll be a No DQ match. The manager of Chelsea Football Club is here but it won’t be him. Shane brings out Robbie Brookside who was a pretty big deal, teaming with Regal for years and competing in Japan as well. He had a cup of coffee on Nitro as well I think. Regal has said that without Brookside there wouldn’t be a William Regal, a Finlay, a Wade Barrett or a Sheamus so take that for what it’s worth.

Robbie Brookside vs. Shane McMahon

This is No DQ. Shane takes him down with a headlock and works on the back with elbows. Total squash so far as Shane knocks Brookside down in the corner. Shane sets up the Coast to Coast and drives the garbage can into Robbie’s head. Robbie is out cold so Shane says this is a handicap match and brings out Umaga to be his partner. Umaga hits the running hip attack and a top rope splash but Shane brings out Vince to make it 3-1. Apparently this is the go home show for Backlash which is a show I haven’t done yet. Vince is in a suit and hat but he gets the pin.

Rating: D. The idea makes sense but there’s no entertainment value to it for the most part. Shane is always cool to see and further emphasizes how bad Garrett Bischoff is but there wasn’t any interest here. Brookside took a beating which was expected but the fans didn’t really seem to care about him.

We get a clip from Wrestlemania where Cena beat Shawn. That means it’s time for a rematch on Raw three weeks later right? Tonight’s match is non-title.

Matt Hardy vs. Trevor Murdoch

The Hardys are Raw tag champions. Todd Grisham is doing ring announcing for no apparent reason. Murdoch takes him into the corner easily and throws on a headlock. Matt comes back with a fist drop for two. He goes up but gets pulled off the middle rope as Murdoch takes over again. Off to a sleeper but Matt breaks it up and hits a forearm. Side Effect gets two. A middle rope Fameasser gets two and Cade pops up on the apron for a distraction. Murdoch hits what was supposed to be a Canadian Destroyer for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t click at all. Jeff was at ringside but didn’t do a thing at all. There wasn’t much to see here as it was a short match on top of being bad. Murdoch was pretty good at times but at other times he was your old Texas cowboy kind of guy which isn’t interesting a lot of the time. Bad match.

Video on the Condemned.

Melina vs. Maria

Both girls are looking GOOD here. Melina is Women’s Champion but it’s not on the line. Grisham talks very slowly. Melina beats her up and after the quick comeback from Maria, a facejam ends this. It’s amazing how much better looking these girls are than the current crop of Divas.

Carlito is getting ready in the back and Flair says let’s go. This was a mentor/mentee thing.

Carlito vs. Great Khali

Carlito comes out alone, minute Flair or girlfriend Torrie. He tries to speed things up but gets run over by a Khali shoulder block. Carlito tries the legs and then the eyes. He goes up top but his missile dropkick misses. Chop, Plunge, pin.

Flair comes out post match and Carlito yells at him in Spanish. Naitch leaves in a huff.

Mick Foley talks about a Make-A-Wish kid that made the main event for Backlash which was a fatal fourway. One of the four is Edge who pops up and says he’ll win on Sunday.

Another video on the Condemned.

Shawn runs into Cena and nothing of note is said.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

There’s almost an hour to go in the show so you know this is going to be something good. Shawn works on the shoulder to start but Cena counters with a headscissors into a stalemate. They do the exact same sequence and then try it again, but Cena goes for a drop toehold which Shawn escapes. Another STFU attempt sends Shawn running to the ropes. Cena is very pleased that he got that close.

Cena tries to grab the leg this time but Shawn makes the rope. They get in each others’ faces and it’s a slugout. Back from a break and the fans are getting way into this. Cena takes him down with a headlock instead which lasts for a good while. A big clothesline takes Shawn down and it’s chinlock time. Shawn pops back up and is immediately clotheslined back down.

Sweet Chin Music is avoided and the FU is countered by Shawn heading to the floor. We take another break and come back to Shawn getting in a shot in the corner. He’s mostly the heel in this but it’s not full fledged. They speed things up and Cena hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two. Throwback gets two. They slug it out and Shawn counters a suplex into a neckbreaker for two.

Another slugout results in the flying forearm by Shawn. He nips up and hammers Cena down and goes to the corner for the elbow. It hits but instead of covering Shawn stomps the mat for the Chin Music. Cena ducks and Shawn grabs a quick backslide for two. The shoulder block misses and Cena may have hurt his shoulder on the crash to the floor. Shawn dives over the floor but Cena catches him in mid-air and slams him into the steps.

Back from break #3 and they’re both in the ring again. It should be noted that we’re probably half an hour into this and Cena looks FINE. He doesn’t look tired, he doesn’t look winded, he doesn’t even look sweaty. That’s almost scary. Cena charges into the post and Shawn has a target. He hooks a combination hammerlock/abdominal stretch on the mat before driving in some knees on the arm.

Cena shrugs off most of it and starts his finishing sequence, taking Shawn’s head off with a clothesline. The Shuffle hits but the FU is countered into Chin Music attempt into the FU for a VERY close two. We take another break and come back with Cena throwing Shawn to the floor. Cena rams his back into the post and we head back inside. Delayed vertical suplex gets two.

Bearhug time which is proof we’re in a big match as you almost never see a face use one of those. Shawn fights out of it but gets thrown over the corner and out to the floor. Back in Cena hits the top rope Fameasser which seems to be a new move for him. They go to the corner for a superplex but Cena instead tries an FU off the top, which Shawn counters into a powerbomb off the top to put both guys down.

Out to the apron and Shawn knocks him face first into the announce table. The look on his face says THAT REALLY HURT! Out to the floor and Shawn loads up a piledriver on the steps but Cena backdrops him onto the floor as we take I think break number five. Back with them on the announce table and Cena is all fired up. Back inside Cena hooks the STFU but it’s not cranked on perfectly.

Shawn makes the rope and we cut to some cheering girl in the crowd. Shawn looks a bit dead but Cena is waiting for the FU. Shawn pops up with the Chin Music but Cena tries the FU again. That gets reversed and Chin Music hits for a very delayed two. They slowly get up and Cena tries the FU again but Shawn slips down the back and hits the second Sweet Chin Music for the pin at 55:49. Unless there’s some house show match that I don’t know of, that’s the longest regular one on one match in the WWE/F since 1981.

Rating: A-. It’s certainly not a masterpiece or even anything close to one, but considering they just went an hour, you have to give them bonus points. Cena looked fresh as a daisy 40 minutes into this which is more proof that he isn’t human. This is also a loss that doesn’t hurt Cena because it wasn’t like he got beat but rather that he got caught. Very good match and the time aspect of it is remarkable. This match is on the Heartbreak and Triumph DVD.

Shawn puts the title on Cena’s chest post match and crotch chops him to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. To say that this is a one match show is an understatement but when it’s a great match like this on free TV, you can’t complain at all. Good stuff here and while it didn’t really build up Backlash that well, it’s still great with one match that is the first of its kind in over twenty five years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the history of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 8, 2013
Location: IZOD Center, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after Wrestlemania and we have a new world champion here on Raw. Cena pinned Rock after a somewhat lackluster match, giving Cena not only his 14^th world title but his 4^th title win at Mania alone. Other than that, HHH still has a job, Undertaker has still never lost at Wrestlemania, Shield is still undefeated and Del Rio retained the title. Tonight is usually a huge show with a big surprise, so let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to open the show. We also get a Tweet from Rock saying that he tore his abdominal muscles off the bone during his match last night. Cena says it should be everyone’s dream to win in the main event of Wrestlemania, because you get the adulation, the respect and the cheers (of which he gets very few on all counts). He says the fans have known him for ten years now and it seems they’re angry tonight. Actually Cena is upset too because Wrestlemania is over.

However, it’s the night after Wrestlemania which is when things happen. Last year he got beaten up by Lesnar but he’s still here now. Maybe he’ll do a little dance. Maybe with a kick. Maybe with a little shake. “Maybe even a little heel turn?” Anyway he says he’s the champion and this is what he wants for a Wrestlemania celebration: to defend the WWE Championship. He doesn’t care who it is….and here’s Mark Henry.

Henry gets in Cena’s face and says that he won his match too, just like the champion. The fans chant for Sexual Chocolate so Cena cracks a joke. Henry yells some more about Ryback so Cena cracks more jokes. Cena agrees to defend the title tonight against Henry but here’s Booker T. He says Rock is #1 contender to the WWE Championship (Cena: “Once in a lifetime best two out of three?”) because Rock has a guaranteed rematch. Therefore, if Henry wants a shot, he has to beat Cena in a one on one match tonight. Henry promises to put Cena in the Hall of Pain.

Alberto faces Colter/Swagger in a handicap match tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big E. Langston

We get a Tweet from Shield saying that they’re going to do something historic. Langston shoves Bryan down to start and hits a hard running charge into the corner to keep control. A delayed backdrop puts Bryan down and Langston pounds away in the corner. Bryan comes back with a bunch of kicks to the chest and a hard one to the head, but an AJ distraction lets Ziggler crotch Bryan. As Kane goes after Dolph, Big E. throws Daniel over the top and onto Kane for the save. Back inside and the Big Ending gets the pin on Bryan at 2:17. Total squash.

Kurt Warner, former NFL quarterback, hosts a new reality show called The Moment on USA and is at Raw tonight.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is challenging after losing the title last night on the pre-show. Wade pounds away in the corner to start but Miz comes back with a left hand and a snap suplex for two. Off to a chinlock by the champion as the fans chant for Barrett. Wade escapes but gets caught in a quick sunset flip for two more and it’s back to the chinlock. That’s easily broken up as we now talk about the rugby player Barrett is named after. Wade comes back and sends Miz into the ropes for a neckbreaker to the apron as we take a break.

Back with Barrett getting a near fall off the Winds of Change. Miz rolls to the floor so Wade can drop an elbow off the apron for two. Off to a chinlock on the champion for a bit but Miz fights up and pounds away. A running knee and big boot put Barrett down but they botch the Reality Check (the backbreaker went fine but Wade fell down before the neckbreaker started).

The corner clothesline hits a bit better and Miz’s short DDT gets two. Wasteland is escaped and Miz puts on the Figure Four, only to have Wade make the rope. Barrett comes back with a quick elbow and goes to the middle rope (since nothing has been done to his leg at all so far right?). Miz breaks it up but gets slammed into the top turnbuckle. Barrett hits the Bull Hammer and regains the title at 13:00.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t bad actually but the booking makes less than no sense. This puts Barrett at 1-2 in the last three weeks against Miz, but he walks out with the title anyway. Naturally there’s going to be a third match because that’s how WWE works, but this whole feud (what are they fighting over anyway?) is worthless and done for.

Vickie and Maddox are arguing in the back when Sheamus comes in. He wants Big Show tonight but Brad says Sheamus will owe them one. Sheamus glares him down so Vickie says she’ll give Sheamus a match. She doesn’t say who it’s going to be against though.

Randy Orton comes up to Booker in the back and asks for a match with Big Show tonight. Booker says Sheamus has already gotten that match tonight but Orton says Booker is a GM and a Hall of Famer. This makes Booker overrule Vickie and give Orton the match instead. Great. Now we get battling GMs. Again.

Here are Colter and Swagger with Zeb asking for the fans’ support for their handicap match up next against Del Rio. He wants the fans to chant USA when Del Rio comes out.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zeb Colter/Jack Swagger

The heels have to tag so Swagger starts things off. The fans want Ziggler. Not much of note to start until Swagger is sent to the floor. Del Rio hits a suicide dive to send Swagger into the announce table and hits a running stomp for good measure. A top rope cross body gets two on Swagger but Zeb gets in a cheap shot, allowing Swagger to take out the world champion’s knee.

The knee is worked on even more until Del Rio fights back and tries for the enziguri in the corner. It misses by six inches but thankfully Swagger doesn’t sell it. They trade some standing switches and there’s the Patriot Lock, but Del Rio rolls out quickly. Del Rio puts the armbreaker on over the top rope until a four count but is knocked into the barricade for good measure as we take a break.

Back with Jack hitting a belly to back suplex for two and cranking on the leg some more. Jack misses a charge into the corner and hits the post, allowing Alberto to make his comeback with some clotheslines and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The backbreaker re-injures the champion’s knee though and both guys are down again.

A hard kick to Swagger’s head gets two but the armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly for two. Off to the Patriot Lock again but Alberto makes a rope. The hold goes on for the third time but Alberto pulls him into the armbreaker as he did last night. Jack taps at 11:06. Colter never got into the match.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it’s the same……screw the rating because we’ve got music.

Post match Alberto has his leg looked at and HERE COMES ZIGGLER!

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

The place goes NUTS for Ziggler as he stomps away on the leg and head of Alberto. The Fameasser hits for two but Ziggler misses a splash in the corner. The enziguri in the corner hits for a VERY close two and there’s the armbreaker. Ziggler cranks on the bad knee to break the hold and the Zig Zag gives us a new champion at 2:15.

If that’s not enough, here’s Undertaker. He talks about dedicating the match to Paul Bearer….and here’s Shield. They surround the ring and all get on the apron at the same time. Cue Kane and Bryan for the save before there’s any contact. As usual, Shield runs when the numbers are even.

In the back, Ziggler says he’s going to go show off his new title.

R-Truth/Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. 3MB

No entrances for any of these guys in this random tag match. Truth and Heath start things off with Slater being slammed down. Santino comes in, thrusts his pelvis, gets punched once, and bails. Off to Ryder vs. Mahal with Zack getting beaten down on the floor by a cheating McIntyre. Apparently Drew is legal now and hits a big boot to the jaw for no cover.

Off to Slater for some more beating before it’s back to McIntyre for an armbar. A neckbreaker puts Drew down and there’s the hot tag to Santino. He cleans house on Slater with his usual stuff but Mahal breaks up a near fall. Everything breaks down and the Cobra is enough to pin Slater at 3:30.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of this was. Were they running short or something and needed to fill in five minutes with something like this? None of the guys have anything going on right now so let’s spend a few minutes on them here to fill in a gap….I guess?

We look at the week in New York/New Jersey to promote Wrestlemania.

Orton and Sheamus argue in the back. Sheamus says he has this and Orton isn’t pleased.

Last night Big Show said he didn’t turn on his partners but rather they turned on him. He tagged himself in and yeah, he saved the team from the TripleBomb. Then later on, Orton stole the tag which should have belonged to him because Orton had to take his thunder. No one is taking Show’s thunder again. That’s not the route he wants to take anymore. The only thing important to him anymore is himself.

Here’s Sheamus to ask who wants to see him face Big Show. He calls out Vickie to make it official but here’s Orton instead. Randy gets in Sheamus’ face and says that Big Show is his tonight. He asks the fans who wants to see him beat up Big Show and the fans seem pretty split. The solution? TWITTER POLL!

Back from a break and Orton wins the poll 77-23. Before the match though, here are Booker and Vickie. Instead of Orton vs. Big Show, it’s Orton vs. Sheamus and the winner gets Big Show. So the poll happened…..why?

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

They shove each other to start and the fans do an OLE chant. Orton hits a snapmare but Sheamus avoids a knee drop. Sheamus hits a pair of knees for his own for two and starts working on the arm. Orton comes back with another knee to the chest as the match keeps going. Randy hooks a chinlock as the fans think a four minutes old match is boring.

Now Sheamus hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about going to London in a few weeks for Raw. Now the fans chant for Rob Van Dam. Now it’s HBK. Orton slowly stomps away as the match is completely ignored. The fans are now chanting for JBL as Sheamus gets two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Sheamus goes up top and the fans chant for Lawler. This is BIZARRE. Orton dropkicks Sheamus out of the air and now they’re chanting Cole as we take a break.

Back with the fans chanting what sounded like DDP and then ECW as Sheamus makes a comeback. The Irish Curse hits for two as the crowd is doing the Wave. JBL: “I wish Michael would drown in it.” Sheamus hits his knee to the ribs and the ten forearms in the ropes as the fans suddenly start cheering along. A suplex brings Orton back in as Sheamus is smiling. Orton’s backbreaker puts Sheamus as we get a Randy Savage chant. Even the announcers are giving up at this point.

The powerslam and t-bone suplex put Sheamus down as the HBK chant starts again. There’s the Elevated DDT and Orton loads up the RKO, only to be shoved off into White Noise. I think the fans are booing Sheamus but how can you tell in this match? The Brogue Kick misses and here comes Big Show as I think everyone knew was about to happen. He throws Sheamus into the post, presumably ending the match at 15:10. Fans: “Thank you Big Show.”

Rating: N/A. I have almost no idea what happened in this match but the crowd stole the show here. The thing I don’t get is that while the match was slow paced, it wasn’t THAT bad. This is a case where the fans just did not care what was going on and found ways to entertain themselves. I’ve never seen anything like this but it was awesome in a way. For an actual grade, we’ll go roughly C- or so.

Post match Show KO’s Orton and hits a BIG spear on the floor. The fans chant FIRE RANDY as Orton is launched into the announce table. Show picks up the announcers’ chairs and tries to throw them into the ring but only hits the ropes both times. Fans: “ONE MORE TIME!” Show walks away instead.

We recap Shield invading Undertaker’s speech earlier.

Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston

The fans are still hot and it seems to be for Fandango. Fandango dances around Kofi before Kingston sends him into the corner. The fans are HUMMING FANDANGO’S THEME MUSIC. Not that it matters as Jericho runs in for the DQ at 1:30.

Post match Jericho destroys Fandango by whipping into whatever he can find. They head inside and there are the Walls of Jericho for good measure. Referees finally come out to break it up. A Codebreaker leaves Fandango laying. The referee declares Fandango the winner and from his back in agony, Fandango corrects his pronunciation. The crowd basically starts a dance party to Fandango’s music.

Video on Cena’s media appearances today.

We look at HHH getting his arm looked at. He’s fine apparently.

Here’s Heyman (crowd ERUPTS) in the back with something to say. His guys lost last night but it took HHH 23 minutes to beat Lesnar. Shawn and HHH aren’t here because of the beatings they took last night at Lesnar’s hands. Paul says Lesnar is ready for a fight TONIGHT. That isn’t happening though, because Brock doesn’t fight for free. Instead, Heyman wants to talk about Punk who is going to tell the fans how he feels…..next week.

Rhodes Scholars/Bellas vs. Funkadactyls/Tons of Funk

This was scheduled for last night but got bumped for time reasons. We’re joined in progress after a break with Naomi hitting the Rear View on one of the Bellas. Off to Cody but Naomi hits a rana on him anyway. Tensai comes in and launches Cody into the corner before hitting a RUNNING FLIP DIVE into the corner. Cody hits a Disaster Kick to send Tensai into 619 position.

The Bellas smack their hips onto Tensai’s head and the Wind-Up Elbow gets a BIG reaction. The hot tag brings in Brodus for his usual stuff and a kind of slide into a cover gets two. Everything breaks down and Sandow is crushed between the big men. A double splash ends Damien at 2:28.

We look at The Moment again.

John Cena vs. Mark Henry

Non-title here and if Henry wins, he gets a title shot at some point in the future. Cena ducks under Henry and dances a bit. He pounds on Henry but gets run over by a single shot from Mark. The fans are behind Henry of course. Mark pounds on Cena in the corner but misses a splash, allowing Cena to pound away. Henry rolls to the floor as we hear about Rock tearing his abdominal muscle off his pelvis bone in addition to having a hernia.

They go back to the announce table so here’s a chant for the table. Henry loads up the announce table but Cena escapes the World’s Strongest Slam. Mark rams him back first into the post but Cena sends him into the steps and slides back inside for the countout win at 3:29. Seriously that’s it.

Rating: D+. Again what can you expect here? They didn’t have the time to do much here but what we got wasn’t bad. Cena is the kind of guy who could have a good match against Henry if given the time, but again what can you ask for with about two hundred seconds to a match? Nothing to see here.

Post match Henry lays out Cena but Ryback makes the save. Ryback lays out Henry with a Meat Hook…..and turns to look at Cena. The fans chant YES but Ryback pulls Cena to his feet. Cena stares at him and Ryback nods. Cena poses on the ropes and Ryback does FEED ME MORE. Cena looks at Ryback…..AND THERE’S THE MEAT HOOK! Shell Shock to Cena ends the show and we’ve got a heel turn.

Overall Rating: C+. I’ve seen over 40,000 matches and well over 2000 shows. I have NEVER seen anything like this crowd tonight. I’m pretty sure they started because they were bored and then they just took off. As for the show….eh it wasn’t terrible, but the first hour SUCKED. I’m sick of these GM’s having to hold our hands through every match being made and taking up so much time because saying “these two have issues, tonight they fight” is too complex. Anyway, a lot of stuff happened tonight and it’s going to be interesting to see the fallout of it. Good show overall and FAR more interesting than I was expecting.

Results

Big E. Langston b. Daniel Bryan – Big Ending

Wade Barrett b. The Miz – Bull Hammer

Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger/Zeb Colter – Cross Armbreaker to Swagger

Dolph Ziggler b. Alberto Del Rio – Zig Zag

Zack Ryder/Santino Marella/R-Truth b. 3MB – Cobra to Slater

Sheamus b. Randy Orton via DQ when Big Show interfered

Fandango b. Kofi Kingston via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered

John Cena b. Mark Henry via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

I kid you not.During his opening promo he did a dance, during which he said he was going to shake, so he shook his hips.  Then he said he was going to kick a little bit, so he kicked his foot up.  Then he slid his foot around the mat and said “maybe a little heel turn too?”

Yeah he’s still a face but the joke was funny.

Wrestlemania XXIX
Date: April 7, 2013
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 80,676
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We have arrived at the biggest night of the year. The main events is John Cena vs. The Rock II for the WWE Championship. If that isn’t enough for you to get into this, we also have Brock vs. HHH II, Undertaker vs. Punk and Del Rio vs. Swagger for the Smackdown Title. The show looks great, the matches look good, the WWE is going home, and it’s Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Miz is challenging. This match was set up because both guys had movies out at the same time but that has since been dropped. Miz beat Barrett on Raw a few weeks ago as well. Miz escapes a belly to back suplex to start and gets two off a quick sunset flip. Barrett gets in a kick in the corner to take over but Miz blocks the kick in the ropes. The Reality Check gets two for Miz before the Wasteland and Skull Crushing Finale are both countered.

Winds of Change get two for Barrett but the Bull Hammer misses. Miz takes the legs out and puts on the Figure Four but Barrett gets a rope. Wasteland hits this time for two and Wade is frustrated. In a unique counter, Miz trips up Barrett and puts on the Figure Four from the mat for the submission and the title at 4:10.

Rating: D+. What do you want here?  It’s a four minute match and not a very good one at that.  At the end of the day, Miz isn’t anything special, the match was nothing special, Barrett hasn’t meant anything of note in forever, the title means nothing, and the match was four minutes long.  How in the world are they supposed to get anything of note going?  The answer is they aren’t, because that’s what a pre-show match is for.

The opening video is about Hurricane Sandy and is narrated by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who talks about New Jersey rising up due to its great spirit.

The National Guard waves a bunch of American flags.

The real opening video talks about growing up and making an impact on the grandest stage of them all. It’s your standard video about making a Wrestlemania moment, but well done.

Much like previous years, there’s a big canopy setup, but this year there’s a Statue of Liberty over the ring.

Shield vs. Sheamus/Big Show/Randy Orton

Surprising choice for an opener. Thankfully Shield doesn’t come down from the upper deck of the arena. Sheamus and Reigns get us going and the pale one pounds away from one corner to the other. This is already longer than Sheamus’ match from last year. A forearm puts Reigns down as does a hard clothesline for two. Off to Orton for the knee drop and some stomping. We get Cole’s first error of the night as he says Orton won the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 24 (he retained).

Reigns gets in some shots to the head and it’s off to Rollins. That goes badly as well for Shield as he gets pounded in the corner and suplexed down. Back to Sheamus but Seth gets in a dropkick to the knee to take him down. Ambrose gets the tag and it’s time for some evil double teaming. Sheamus will have none of that though and powerslam Ambrose down for two. Orton is ready for a tag but Show tags himself in instead. He rips Ambrose’s vest open for the LOUD chop and Dean wants another one. Instead he gets about five in a row and a splash in the corner.

Dean actually comes back and dropkicks the knee out to bring in Rollins. A top rope kick gets two on Show and it’s off to Reigns for some hard shots to Show’s back. Ambrose is back in now, sans all of his vest and shirt. Back to Rollins as Shield is tagging in and out very fast. A running kick to the face gets two for Rollins and it’s back to Roman for the chinlock. Big Show fights up with a belly to back suplex but Rollins takes out Orton to break up the tag. That’s fine with Show though as he brings in Sheamus instead for some fast and hard hitting knees to the chest.

Rollins gets his own vest split open and there are the ten forearms to the chest. Ambrose tags himself in from the apron and there are ten forearms for him as well. The Regal Roll puts Dean down and Sheamus hits one on Rollins as well, this one on top of Ambrose. Reigns breaks up something from Sheamus off the top and everything breaks down. Rollins dives through the ropes at Orton and slams his own head into the barricade. Sheamus is triple teamed in the ring but as Shield loads up the TripleBomb, Show spears them all down for the save.

Ambrose is the only one still in the ring for Shield as Sheamus is crawling to the corner. He reaches for Big Show but Orton tags himself in instead. The powerslam sets up the Elevated DDT and Big Show is ticked off. Orton loads up the RKO on Ambrose but Rollins springboards into the RKO instead. Reigns spears Orton down as Big Show watches from the apron for the pin at 10:34.

Rating: B-. Not as good as I was hoping for here but it was still a good match and a fine opener. This was more about the trio instead of the Shield, which is ok I guess but I’m hoping Shield gets to have their moment later on. The good thing here though is that Reigns got a 100% clean pin on Orton. It wasn’t Shield picking the bones. It was a spear and a pin. That’s a big help for the team and a good sign for them.

Big Show knocks out both of his partners post match.

Video on Rock vs. Cena.

Snooki is here.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

They stare each other down before colliding. No one goes anywhere so they do it again to the same result. They slug it out with Ryback taking over. Some clotheslines stagger Henry a bit but Henry runs Ryback over with a single clothesline of his own. A powerslam gets one for Mark but Ryback fights back with some right hands. A suplex is blocked by Henry and he puts Ryback on the apron with ease. Henry sends him into the post and clotheslines him out to the floor for good measure.

Back in and Henry pounds away on the back even more to take away the power game from Ryback. We hit an old school bearhug for a bit before Henry throws him to the floor again. Ryback gets back in at nine and it’s back to the bearhug. The bald one finally fights out of it and hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner and there’s the Meat Hook. Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Henry grabs the top rope and falls onto Ryback’s back for the pin at 8:06.

Rating: D. What in the world was that? Henry DESTROYED Ryback here and beat him almost clean in eight minutes. I don’t think there was an injury or anything, but why in the world would you have Ryback lose here? This keeps his long losing streak going for what, eight months now? I don’t get this one at all.

Post match Ryback hits the spinebuster and Shell Shock on Henry. So why did we have the match end that way???

The announcers play with toys and announce a partnership with the Special Olympics.

Some Special Olympians are here with Stephanie McMahon and Governor Christie.

Tag Titles: Big E. Langston/Dolph Ziggler vs. HELL NO

HELL NO is defending. This was set up by Ziggler beating Kane and Bryan in singles matches and wanting a title match as a result. This is also Langston’s debut. We get a funny bit to start with Ziggler kissing AJ to taunt Bryan and getting kicked in the head for a VERY close two ala last year. Ziggler bails to the floor and gets caught with a suicide dive. Back in and Bryan fires off the hard kicks to the chest but the big one to the head misses.

Ziggler dives off to tag in Langston and he gets Kane. Big E. easily catches a charging Kane and hits three straight backbreakers to take over. Kane gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Langston but the chokeslam is easily broken up. Langston runs over Kane and it’s back to Ziggler for some quick choking. Langston comes in again for more shots to Kane’s chest and ribs. He lowers his head though and there’s a DDT from Kane to put Langston down.

Back to Dolph who breaks up a tag to Bryan, only to miss a splash in the corner. Kane’s side slam gets two but the top rope clothesline misses. The Fameasser kind of misses but Bryan comes in for the save anyway. Ziggler jumps into an uppercut from Kane but Langston splashes Kane for the save at two. The Big Ending is broken up and Kane sends Big E. to the floor for the knee from Bryan. The Zig Zag gets two on Kane and Dolph is frustrated. AJ slides in the briefcase but Kane ducks Ziggler’s swing. The chokeslam connects and Kane takes out Langston. The Swan Dive from Bryan retains the titles at 6:30.

Rating: C. My predictions are taking a pounding tonight. I would assume this means Ziggler cashes in tonight, because we should totally buy him as world champion after he loses to Bryan here right? The match was fine, but at this point there’s no need to see HELL NO with the belts anymore. It’s just dull at this point and they stopped being funny a long time ago.

John Cena talks about Make-A-Wish.

Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

Fandango has a troop of dancing girls this time. This is set up because Jericho can’t pronounce Fandango’s name properly. This is also Fandango’s debut. Fandango dances to start and is taken down by Jericho very quickly. The dancer heads to the floor but as soon as he heads back in, Jericho takes him down and pounds away even more. Fandango jumps over Jericho in the corner but walks into a Codebreaker to send him to the floor. A baseball slide sends Fandango to the floor and Jericho hits a big plancha to take him down.

Back in and Jericho wipes the dust off his hands but as he loads up the springboard dropkick, Fandango blasts him in the face with a hard kick. Off to a chinlock as JBL goes off on Fandango for posing too much. Chris fights up pretty quickly and speeds things up before hitting a top rope ax handle. A Thesz Press puts Fandango down as does an enziguri for two. A top rope cross body gets two for Jericho but he gets sent shoulder first into the post to stop his momentum again.

A Downward Spiral puts Jericho down and the guillotine legdrop hits….for two. The Walls are countered and Fandango clotheslines Jericho down. Another guillotine legdrop is broken up but so is Jericho’s superplex bid. The third legdrop attempt misses but the Lionsault misses as well. Jericho tries the Walls but looks to have tweaked his knee. Fandango gets a sloppy small package for the pin at 9:16.

Rating: D. This was REALLY sloppy at the end and it appeared to be botched. Fandango did nothing to impress me here as he only seems to have one big move in the legdrop and that was tried three times in less than ten minutes. That ending looked awkward though so I’m guessing something went wrong.

We look at Miz winning the Intercontinental Title on the pre-show.

Video on Rock being back and various cities his fans come from.

We get a highlight package of Mania moments set to Rocky music on the big screens with all the other lights off. The lights come back up to reveal….Diddy, for the annual music medley.

We recap Swagger vs. Del Rio. Swagger and his manager Zeb Colter don’t like people coming into their country and taking jobs from “people that look like them”. The world champion, Alberto Del Rio, is one of these people. Swagger won the Elimination Chamber match and earned this shot. To make it personal, Swagger broke Alberto’s friend Ricardo Rodriguez’s ankle. The idea is that Del Rio is the kind of immigrant that America was built on, but the fans aren’t really buying him in this role for the most part.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger’s entrance is cut off as he and Colter are in the ring after the video package. Colter goes on his usual rant about how awful New York is because of all the non-English languages being spoken. Apparently those foreigners are plotting something. Swagger pounds away to start but Del Rio sends him to the floor for a baseball slide. Alberto pounds on Jack on the floor for a bit before heading inside again. Colter starts distracting the champion immediately and Jack takes over.

A hard clothesline gets two for Swagger and it’s off to an armbar, which Del Rio rolls up for two. Swagger comes back with the Vader Bomb for two but as he tries to wrap the champion’s legs around the post, Alberto pulls Jack’s shoulder into the post. Back in and Swagger charges into a boot to the face and there are some clotheslines from the champion. Both Swagger and Colter get kicked in the face with the actual wrestler getting covered for two as a result.

The armbreaker is countered and Swagger hits a high belly to belly suplex for two. Jack goes after the leg but the Patriot Lock is quickly broken up. The Vader Bomb is broken up as well and Del Rio hits the ten forearms to the back followed by the Backstabber for two. The champion hits a hard German suplex for two but the armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb for two.

There’s another Patriot Lock but as Swagger tries the grapevine, Del Rio slides over into the armbreaker in a sweet counter. Jack powers out of that into the Patriot Lock again but Alberto makes the rope. Another gutwrench powerbomb is countered and Del Rio fires off a kick to the head, only to hurt his ankle even more.

The corner enziguri hits Swagger but Colter puts the foot on the ropes at two. Ricardo goes after Zeb but gets kicked in the ankle. Del Rio and Colter both have a crutch but the distraction lets Swagger deck Alberto. They head back in and there’s the cross armbreaker out of nowhere for the tap out at 10:37. It was as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C+. That ending came out of nowhere and cut short what was looking to be a good match. Thankfully they kept this a mat based match which is where both of these guys shine. The counters were pretty sweet out there and both guys looked good, but at the end of the day that ending stopped this dead in its tracks, which is a shame.

The National Guard is here.

We recap Punk vs. Undertaker, which is built around the idea of Punk disrespecting the memory of the recently dead Paul Bearer. Punk wants to be the 1 in 20-1, meaning he wants to break the Streak. He stole the urn as well, because that hasn’t been done in about ten years or so.

Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Living Colour plays Punk to the ring live. Heyman and Punk throw the urn around before the match. Punk slaps Taker in the corner to try to tick him off before pounding away back inside. Undertaker launches Punk into the corner but Punk slaps him again. The chokeslam is blocked by a high kick but Taker kicks him in the face to counter. We head to the floor and Taker keeps pounding away before loading up the announce table.

Punk is rammed spine first into the post and there’s the apron legdrop for good measure. Back inside and Taker gets some more open shots in the corner. Old School is broken up and Punk stomps away in the corner. In a solidly evil move, Punk hits Old School of his own followed by a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a kind of keylock by Punk which is easily broken up. Taker slugs him down but misses a running big boot into the corner.

A baseball slide puts Taker on the floor and there’s a Macho ax handle to keep the Dead Man down. Back in and Punk works on the shoulder with some Scott Hall driving shoulder blocks. Taker fires off some right hands but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker for two. Heyman shouts that Punk is getting closer and it’s off to a chinlock. A suplex eventually gets Taker out of trouble but Punk tries Old School again. That’s just asking for trouble though and Punk crotches himself on the top rope. Heyman: “WHAT HAPPENED?”

Taker loads up the Dive but Heyman makes the save. Instead of a chokeslam to Heyman though, it’s a springboard clothesline by Punk for two. The running knee in the corner connects and there’s the Macho Elbow for two more. Punk draws power from the urn and calls for Go to Sleep but Taker counters into the chokeslam for two. Back up and Undertaker wins a quick slugfest before pounding Punk down into the corner. Snake Eyes connects but Punk leg lariats him down for two.

A clothesline sends Taker to the floor and now Punk finishes loading up the announce table. Taker tries a Last Ride through the table but Punk escapes and high kicks Taker onto the table instead. The Macho Elbow…..doesn’t put Undertaker through the table as Punk just kind of stops moving once he hits Undertaker. Both guys are down and Punk is holding his knee back in the ring. The referee gets to nine but Taker dives back in just in time.

Back in and Taker tries Hell’s Gate but can’t get it all the way in. Punk tries to flip over but only gets two as a result. There’s the Anaconda Vice (no mention of Punk beating Taker in a submission match back in 2009) and Taker sits up. He glares at Punk while still in the hold and slips his hand underneath, but the chokeslam is countered into a bad GTS. Taker doesn’t even go off his feet and picks Punk up for the Tombstone for two.

They slug it out again and Taker loads up the chokeslam, only to have Punk shove the referee down. Punk’s knee is giving out but he hits the running knee in the corner only to be countered into the Last Ride. Heyman throws in the urn to blast Taker in the head ala HHH and the sledgehammer in 2001. Naturally it only gets two because Undertaker doesn’t lose at Wrestlemania. Taker escapes the GTS twice and the second Tombstone makes it 21-0 at 22:23.

Rating: B. It was good but I never once bought the Streak as being in jeopardy. It wasn’t going to end in a countout, it wasn’t going to end off a GTS, it wasn’t going to end with the same spot that HHH did better 12 years ago. It’s a good match but it’s a step down from the last four years. To be fair though, did anyone really think it was ending here? I’m not sure why you would. It’s Undertaker at Wrestlemania for crying out loud. The match was entertaining though and Punk’s visuals were great throughout, as was him hitting Old School. Good but definitely not great match here.

Undertaker reclaims the urn and looks like he’s about to cry.

WWE has donated a lot of Slim Jims to the military.

Video on Cena being focused for the main event.

We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar using the same video we’ve seen about five times now. HHH didn’t have a reason to get back into the ring until Lesnar hurt Vince. It’s No Holds Barred with HHH’s career on the line.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Shawn Michaels is in HHH’s corner. Lesnar is in the MMA gear which makes him look even scarier than usual. They slug it out to start with HHH firing off a bunch of right hands to the ribs. Lesnar knees the Game in the ribs and out to the floor we go. Brock is sent into the barricade and the announce table but Brock sends him into the apron to take over. They head into the crowd but HHH immediately clotheslines Lesnar back to ringside.

Brock blasts him in the head and picks up a chair as we head back inside. The jumping knee to the face puts Brock back down and Heyman steals the chair away before HHH can use it. They head back to the floor and Lesnar hits a belly to belly suplex to send HHH onto the floor. A release vertical suplex puts HHH through the table and Brock screams at HHH’s body. There’s another belly to belly suplex onto the remnants of the table and Brock gives us another evil grin.

Shawn tries to check on Brock and is sent running away. Back inside and Brock pounds away into the corner and shrugs off a facebuster before clotheslining HHH down for two. Another belly to belly gets another two as Shawn plays cheerleader. A pair of German suplexes get three two counts and Brock shouts a lot. HHH fires back some right hands but gets whipped over the corner and back out to the floor.

HHH’s arm is hanging there at the moment but he comes back with a clothesline and a right hand. Another clothesline puts Lesnar into the timekeeper’s area. A chair shot staggers Brock but we head back inside for a bridging German for two. Brock decks Shawn off the apron but walks into a spinebuster. The Pedigree is countered but so is the F5. Shawn comes in to try a superkick but gets caught in the F5 instead.

A bad looking Pedigree gets two on Brock and it’s sledgehammer time. Brock puts HHH up in mid swing and hits the F5 for two. We head to the floor and Brock cracks a chair over the Game’s back before sending him into the steps. The same steps go upside HHH’s head and Brock sends the other set into the ring. Back inside and Brock hits him in the arm with the steps for two more. Another shot with the steps gets another two but HHH comes back with some right hands. The Pedigree is countered into the Kimura arm lock but the ropes do nothing here.

Triple H breaks the hold twice by ramming Brock into the corner but Lesnar puts it on again. Brock fires off some knees and puts the hold on while on the middle rope but HHH picks him up and slams him down in a spinebuster. Brock misses a charge into the post and there’s a low blow for good measure. HHH wraps Brock’s arm around the post and Brock sounds like he in labor. A chair shot crushes the arm against the post and HHH does the same against the steps for good measure.

HHH throws on a Kimura of his own and Brock screams for Heyman, only to have Shawn superkick Heyman down. Brock holds off from tapping and lifts HHH into the air before slamming him down onto the steps. HHH throws the hold right back on and Brock slams him down onto the steps again to break the hold a second time. Here’s a third Kimura by HHH and Brock lifts him up, only to be DDTed onto the steps. It’s sledgehammer time again and a shot to Brock’s head sets up a Pedigree onto the steps for the pin at 24:00.

Rating: B+. This started slow but the ending was much better. I was actually thinking Brock would tap at the end and they had me not sure of who was going to win until the end. I’ll have a lot more to say about HHH spending eleven months with Brock Lesnar and then beating him in the blowoff match at Wrestlemania, but for now this was a good, hard hitting, entertaining match.

We get the Hall of Fame video from last night.

The Class of 2013 is presented to the arena: Mick Foley, Booker T, Trish Stratus, Bob Backlund, Donald Trump (booed) and Bruno Sammartino (gets a trumpet entrance). Foley got the loudest ovation it seemed.

The attendance record is 80,676.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Rock

No entrance video, no musical performance, no special Mania entrance, nothing. Cena just walks out and kind of struts down the ramp at first. Apparently the eight person tag was cut from the show. I didn’t think they could fit all of that into the amount of time they had left. We get Big Match Intros and we’re ready to go. The crowd is exactly as you would expect it to be. Rock is champion and the huge crowd favorite if that wasn’t clear.

A quick shoulder block gets no one anywhere so we stare each other down a bit more. Rock grabs a headlock which does nothing of note either. We try it again until they run the ropes a few times followed by a hip toss to send Cena to the floor. Back in and Cena sends Rock into the corner before pounding away a bit. The champion comes back with a clothesline and a kick to the face to put Cena down on the mat.

Rock drives some elbows into Cena’s chest but gets clotheslined down again. The crowd isn’t into this for the most part. Cena hooks a chinlock which transitions into a headlock on the mat. Rock fights up and hooks a sleeper as the fans think this is boring. A suplex puts Rock down and Cena stomps away as he continues to be the heel in the match. Rock fights back with a Samoan drop and they lay around a bit more. Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex gets two.

Rock tries the spit punches but Cena hits the shoulder. A second one misses and the spit punch connects. The spinebuster is countered into an STF attempt but Rock escapes. Cena hits his finishing sequence but the ProtoBomb is countered into the Sharpshooter, and it’s WAY better than the one he used last year. Cena rolls out of that and kicks Rock off so he can hit the ProtoBomb.

The Shuffle misses (I don’t remember that happening before actually, which is hard to believe) and Rock hits a DDT to take Cena down. The Rock Bottom is countered into a bad Crossface but when that gets Cena nowhere, he hits a third ProtoBomb and the Shuffle for no cover. The AA is countered but there’s the spinebuster by Rock. Cena picks the leg to counter the Elbow though and the STF goes on. In an impressive power display, Rock rolls onto his back and breaks Cena’s grip to escape.

Cena charges into the Rock Bottom for two as the fans are barely reacting to these near falls because we’re not even fifteen minutes into this yet. The AA hits for two but the to rope Fameasser misses. Now the People’s Elbow hits but of course it only gets two. The near falls aren’t even close as Cena is kicking out at like two and a quarter instead of two and nine tenths.

After Cena rolls to the floor for a bit they head back inside for the boo/yay slugout. Rock for some reason tries a cross body and it’s ANGRY Cena but he gets countered into a big Rock Bottom. AGAIN Cena kicks out barely after two which takes away a lot of the drama. Rock stops to listen to the people and loads up another Elbow, only to throw in You Can’t See Me. In a nice callback to last year, Cena pops up and hits the AA for two.

Back up and they slug it out again and Cena hits a Rock Bottom of his own for two. NOW the fans are getting into this. Cena has no idea what to do now but as he loads up the Shuffle, he stops and sets up the Elbow. This is what cost him last year but he holds the ropes when Rock nips up, only to have the AA countered into a Rock Bottom for another two. This is starting to pick up a lot.

The AA is countered, the Rock Bottom is countered, the AA is countered again, the Rock Bottom is countered again, the AA is countered again, Rock hits a DDT. The champion tries about the nineteenth Rock Bottom of the match but gets countered into the Attitude Adjustment to give Cena his 14^th world title at 24:00. Yeah seriously, that’s it.

Rating: C+. This started off REAL slow but picked up after about twenty minutes. The problem is it stopped as soon as they started to get going. This fell into the classic trap of trying to have an epic match and collapsing under the weight. The problem at the end of the day is we’ve seen this done better before, so what’s the appeal here? Not much to see here and it was freaking boring at times.

They say something we can hear to each other and shake hands….and Rock walks out to his own music to end the show.  Oh wait they salute each other and pose to really end it.

Overall Rating: B-. This falls into that awkward “Good but not memorable” category. The big matches were all good but nothing on here was what I would call a masterpiece. Rock vs. Cena was good but we saw a better and bigger match last year between the two. The crowd didn’t help things, which ranges from either the cold or reports of REALLY obstructed views for a lot of them.

The biggest problem here is there was never that moment that you remember from each show until the end. Yeah that helps a lot, but it doesn’t help when we’ve seen Cena win the title what, twelve times before? It also doesn’t help that the moment comes after FIVE HOURS of WWE tonight.

Results

Shield b. Big Show/Randy Orton/Sheamus – Spear to Orton

Mark Henry b. Ryback – Henry fell on Ryback’s back

HELL NO b. Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston – Swan Dive to Ziggler

Fandango b. Chris Jericho – Small Package

Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger – Cross Armbreaker

Undertaker b. CM Punk – Tombstone

HHH b. Brock Lesnar – Pedigree on the steps

John Cena b. The Rock – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Then there’s this.A year ago I was as fired up for a match as I’ve ever been because of Cena vs. Rock.  I didn’t know if it was going to be good or bad, but I needed to see it one way or another.  That being said, the feeling isn’t there this year.  I’m not saying I don’t want to see the match because I do and there’s no way this won’t be good.  The problem is there’s nothing separating this match from last year’s version.  Yeah it’s for the title, and maybe 10% of the promos have been about said title.  It’s not adding anything and is the definition of a prop to set up this match.

All that being said, I’m fine with the match happening again.  These complaints of the match being stale or played out are pretty ridiculous considering we’ve seen them fight ONCE in a a year and that match drew more money than any other match ever.  Again, we haven’t seen them fight in over a year and that match was an instant classic.  But somehow this match is stale because….it just is right?  Anyway the match itself should be fine.

As for the big question about it: no, I don’t see Cena doing the turn.  I see this being more like Wrestlemania 8 where Roddy Piper picked up the bell, looked at it, and sat it down instead if giving into the demons.  Granted he lost about ten seconds later but at least he had a clean conscience.  The main thing to remember abotu Cena becoming the villain is there’s no one ready to take his place on top of the company.  Cena is way too big of a cash cow for WWE and in his own words:

“”I just don’t see me getting there in order to please a very small group of 30-year-olds.”

That’s what it boils down to.  A lot of fans REALLY like John Cena.  He appeals to kids, he appeals to women, he appeals to families.  Cena is built up as a role model and he’s done that for years.  Yeah, the turn would be shocking.  Then three months would go by and where would we be then?  We would have a small group of 30-year-olds cheering for him and a bunch of people not buying his merchandise.  WWE is too smart to cater to such a small group of fans and at the end of the day, the right move is for Cena to stay where he is, at least until someone new is ready.

As for the match, I can’t imagine Rock keeping the title.  I just can’t.  Rock can’t be world champion long term because of his movie schedule, so you can’t expect him to keep the title even longer.  Also Cena has earned a big win as he hasn’t been champion in a LONG time.  Think about it.  Since Money in the Bank 2011, Cena has been world champion for 34 days, and 20 of those were spent as co champion with Punk.  His last title reign that went longer than three months?  The year long one which ended in 2007.  It’s been a very long time since Cena had an extended reign as world champion and it’s his time again.  Cena wins, as he should.