Smackdown
Date: October 27, 2006
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re on the way to Cyber Sunday, but that only means something for a few people on this show. Other than that we are starting the build towards Survivor Series, or at least we should be pretty soon. I’m not sure what to expect from this show but the main events have been pretty big as of late. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s a ticked off Batista to get things going. He talks about winning the World Title at Wrestlemania XXI but then being forced to vacate it due to an injury. Since then, all he has wanted to do is get his title back but an Irish thorn has been a pain in his neck so he wants Finlay out here right now.

Instead here are Paul Heyman and his security, with Heyman recapping tonight’s main event of John Cena/Batista vs. Big Show/King Booker. Heyman points out that Batista is the lone non-champion, which does it sit well with Batista. That sends Heyman into a speech about why Batista should be a champion because he looks and acts like one. Teddy Long is holding him back, even though these people don’t care about him. Heyman cares about him though and would love to have him in ECW.

Batista says that’s a nice offer and asks for some time to think about it. That’s fine of course, but Batista turns it down before Heyman can get out of the ring. The brawl is on but here are Big Show and King Booker to beat Batista down. John Cena runs in for the save and the good guys clear the ring in a hurry.

Wrestlers talk about whether John Cena or the Marine is tougher. That’s three times for this segment this week.

William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Bobby Lashley/Tatanka

Tatanka shoulders and clotheslines Regal down to start and hands it off to Lashley, who charges into a knee in the corner. Taylor comes in for a few quick shots but charges into a boot to the face. The tag brings in Tatanka and everything breaks down. Lashley gets sent outside and Regal grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes and Taylor pushing a bit for the pin. Tatanka tore his meniscus at some point in there so he might be gone for a bit.

Post match Tatanka beats up the referee and decks Lashley with a right hand, followed by a low blow.

Chris Benoit is asked about possibly facing Umaga at Cyber Sunday but goes over to see Vickie Guerrero. He asks what is going on with her and Chavo Guerrero and what they did to Rey Mysterio. Vickie accuses Benoit of using Eddie to further his career because they weren’t as close as he thought they were.

MVP claims an intestinal virus to keep him out of a No DQ match with Kane. Mr. Kennedy comes in and says he wants to face Undertaker tonight. Long says Kennedy knows Undertaker isn’t here tonight so he can replace MVP in the No DQ match against Kane.

We recap King Booker and Big Show attacking John Cena on Raw, followed by Booker taking out Big Show.

Chavo Guerrero tells Vickie Guerrero to be careful around Chris Benoit and to keep her friends close and enemies closer.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title and yes we’re doing this again. Helms takes him down and pounds away to start but Matt is right back up with a running clothesline into the corner. A bulldog out of said corner gets two but Helms shoves him off the apron for a clothesline on the floor. Back in and Helms chokes on the rope to set up the chinlock for a bit. Matt fights up again and hits the Side Effect for two. The Twist of Fate is loaded up but Helms reverses into a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C. It was a quick match and little more than that, which is not exactly something I needed to see. These two have fought a few times now and while the match at No Mercy was rather good, there was nothing to this one which made me want to see it keep going. Hopefully this is it because there isn’t much else left to see from them.

Ashley, in a fairy costume for later, comes in to ask Paul London and Brian Kendrick’s opinion on her costume. London is disappointed because she stole it from him. Kendrick thinks she looks great and the three of them are heading out later. Ashley leaves and the guys lose it.

Ad for Controversy Creates Cash.

Kane vs. Mr. Kennedy

No DQ. Kane slugs away to start and hammers away in the corner as JBL jumps on Cole for accidentally saying Victoria’s Secret instead of….whatever he was trying to say. A suplex plants Kennedy for two and there’s a hard clothesline to put him down again. Kennedy ducks a big boot though and Kennedy hammers away to little avail. They head outside with Kennedy whipping him into the steps and uses a chair on the knee.

Another hard chair to the knee rocks Kane and Kennedy wraps the knee around the ropes for a running kick back inside. Kane gets in a few uppercuts though and a hard clothesline out of the corner drops Kennedy. A one armed side slam does it again but here’s MVP to break up the top rope clothesline. Kane beats both of them up but MVP chairs the knee out so Kennedy can steal the pin.

Rating: C+. This worked out fairly well and Kennedy continues to build up momentum with one win over a big name after another. Kane was basically in a handicap match here and I think you know where this is going. That should work out well, and a match against Undertaker and Kane should be a nice rub for the young guys.

John Cena comes in to see Batista before the tag match and Batista mocks the You Can’t See Me. That’s not good enough for Cena, who gets in Batista’s face about how it is war out there so take this seriously. Cena wants some heart and Batista buys into the idea.

Here are Chavo and Vickie Guerrero for a chat. Chavo talks about how the family finally have some peace in their lives. A fan says they suck but Chavo says Guerreros don’t suck. They are glad to be rid of Rey Mysterio and let’s look at him saying I QUIT again. Then we watch it again just to make the point clear. Make it three times because Chavo could watch it all day long. There’s the fourth time but as he calls for the fifth, here is Chris Benoit instead. The Guerreros bail before anything can be said.

Video on the tour of the Philippines.

Here is Teddy Long for a chat. He saw what happened in the previous match so next week it is Kane/Undertaker vs. MVP/Mr. Kennedy. As for tonight, it’s a Divas Battle Royal.

Battle Royal

Jillian Hall is Elvis, Michelle McCool is a nurse, Kristal is a gold miner (or digger more than likely), Ashley is a fairy and Layla is a bunny. Before the bell, cue the Miz to make himself referee and we’re ready to go. We’re down to Kristal vs. Layla in less than a minute with Layla taking over. Kristal puts her on the apron though and Miz pulls her out for the win. This certainly existed as a way to get the women in their outfits and out of the ring in a hurry.

Post break, Miz is in the ring with Kristal to celebrate the win but here’s the returning Boogeyman. Miz shoves Kristal at him and the worms are back.

We recap Tatanka snapping.

Big Show and King Booker bicker over who is better but agree to work together tonight.

The Marine is still a thing.

King Booker/Big Show vs. John Cena/Batista

Cena and Booker get things going with Batista applauding from the apron. Batista comes in and gets in a few shots of his own, followed by some choking in the corner. It’s already back to Cena and a double clothesline drops Booker again. We take a break and come back with Cena coming in to slug away at Booker but Show comes in to run him over. Booker adds some kicks to the ribs and there’s Show’s headbutt for a bonus.

Cena clotheslines Booker but gets knocked over the top in a hurry. The sleeper goes on to keep Cena in trouble but he reverses into the ProtoBomb. Booker goes for the tag….and Show walks off to make up for Raw. The hot tag brings in Batista and it’s time to clean house. The shoulders in the corner set up the running powerslam to plant Booker. Cena comes in for most of his finishing sequence, followed by the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a nice enough main event tag team match and that is all it needed to be. What mattered here was getting in some tension between Booker and Batista, which worked out well enough. You don’t need to do anything more than what makes sense at times and that is exactly what went down here. Nice match, and Cyber Sunday gets a boost.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty nice show here for the most part and there is nothing wrong with that. Having Big Show and John Cena as guest stars is helping to prop the show up but the good sign is that they are also building for the future. Mr. Kennedy and MVP are looking strong and Chavo is getting a nice push as well. I’m interested in where things are going and that has not been the case for a bit.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 23, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 15,101
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the 700^th episode and that means we are going to be in for a pretty big show. It does not help that we are just a few weeks removed from the Raw Family Reunion show, but we only have about two weeks to go before Cyber Sunday so the push continues. We have a few matches set up already so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We see a bunch of the media coverage from John Cena laying out Kevin Federline last week.

Here’s Kevin Federline to get things going. He’s back here on Raw for payback because everyone was talking about his appearance last week when John Cena laid him out. Federline isn’t a lovable loser like the Chicago Cubs though and he is ready to see Cena lose at Cyber Sunday. He brings out King Booker and Queen Sharmell, the former of which calls Federline’s album a treasure.

Booker can’t wait for Cena’s title to be on the line so he can be a double champion, but here’s Big Show to disagree. Show refers to the King as just Booker, which does not go well with the King. Show: “I’ll call you anything I want.” The two of them both tell Federline that they will win at Cyber Sunday but here is Cena himself to interrupt. Cena says this must be the dumbest lineup in the history of Celebrity Jeopardy, but he really sees a big royal pain in the a**.

Cena mocks Show’s acting legacy as the Staypuft Marshmallow Man and Jabba the Hut, plus his future role as the white Fat Albert. Then there is Booker, who called Federline’s album a treasure. Cena: “Booker, you have officially lost your status as a black man.” Ron Simmons comes in for the one line cameo (that was perfect) and Cena advises Federline to stop playing with fire (the album name) and to try playing with himself.

Women’s Title Tournament Semifinals: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina jumps her at the bell to start fast but Mickie gets in a few kicks for a breather. A quick suplex puts Mickie back down and we hit the dragon sleeper. That’s broken up and Mickie slugs away, only to get caught with a swinging neckbreaker. Mickie hurricanranas her out of the corner and grabs the MickieDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t much of a match but it was actual wrestling after weeks of nothing for the first round. I know the women’s division is completely worthless at this point but there are people who can wrestle, making the nonsense all the more frustrating. This was just a quick match, but after all of the terrible stuff so far, it was rather refreshing.

We look back at Umaga vs. Jackass.

Carlito/Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chris Masters

Shelton throws Hardy outside to start and Masters gets in a slam on the floor. Back in and Shelton grabs a chinlock with the fans all behind Hardy. Masters comes in but Hardy knocks him away and makes the hot tag to Carlito to pick up the pace. A Flatliner plants Shelton and the back to back corkscrew flip dives hit both villains. Back up and Masters sends Hardy into Carlito and grabs a rollup with a hand on the rope for the pin.

Rating: C. They packed a good bit of stuff into this one and while it wasn’t anything great, it did a nice job of building up the idea of Hardy having to defend against someone at Cyber Sunday. It is a little tricky to build up a match against no one in particular but they are doing what they can with what they have here. I’m not sure it worked, but the match was ok.

Edge and Randy Orton are ready to beat up DX on Sunday because they are sick of the lack of respect. Cyber Sunday is coming, so when Orton faces HHH tonight, the three nominees to referee the match (Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff and Jonathan Coachman) are going to be at ringside.

Johnny Nitro thinks Kevin Federline is a better rapper than Cena, but for now Nitro is going to prove that he is a better wrestler.

Wrestlers debate if John Cena or the Marine is tougher. Cena would like to meet his character because he has bad taste in people he would like to meet.

Johnny Nitro vs. John Cena

Non-title and Nitro has Melina and Kevin Federline with him. Cena starts fast by sending him into the corner and an elbow to the face puts Nitro down again. A Federline distraction lets Nitro hammer away though and a neckbreaker gets two. Cena gets sent outside where Federline slaps him in the face. The distraction lets Nitro hit a big dive and something like a bulldog gives Nitro two. A chinlock with a bodyscissors has Cena in more trouble but he powers out in a hurry. The ProtoBomb into the Shuffle into the FU finishes Nitro in a hurry.

Rating: C. I know Cena keeps beating Nitro but these haven’t been squashes and that makes for some nice boosts for Nitro. He is being treated as someone who might make Cena break a sweat and that’s a lot more than a lot of the other people around here. The Federline stuff is still annoying, but it’s not like it dominated the match or anything.

Post match Cena goes after Federline but gets jumped by Big Show and Booker. The beatdown is on and the heels pose….until Booker lays out Show with the Bookend.

Spirit Squad vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title. Mikey slams JTG down to start and it’s off to Johnny to rip at his face. A suplex, with Mikey almost dropping him, gets two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a leapfrog allows JTG to get over for the hot tag to Shad and it’s time to clean house. The G9 finishes Mikey in a hurry. Short and to the point, as Cryme Tyme continues to look like stars.

Post match Kenny goes on a rant about how he is sick of the losing, especially to a bunch of old people. Therefore, he is going to beat Ric Flair on his own.

This Week In Wrestling History: WCW’s Chamber Of Horrors (Voiceover: “Yes I said electrocuting him.”). The snark is high with this one.

Eugene, in a Chicago Bears jersey, is shooting out t-shirts when Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada interrupt. Estrada talks about the fans being able to choose if Umaga faces Chris Benoit, Sandman or Kane at Cyber Sunday….and Eugene shoots him low with a t-shirt. Umaga destroys Eugene as usual.

Video on the Japanese tour.

Jim Duggan tells Eugene he was too nice of a guy out there….and Eugene jumps him but seems to immediately regret it.

Kenny vs. Ric Flair

The Spirit Squad is here with Kenny but Flair didn’t believe what he said anyway, so here are Sgt. Slaughter, Roddy Piper and Dusty Rhodes to even things up. Kenny runs him over for an early two but Flair is back with the chops. Mikey grabs Flair’s foot though and Kenny gets a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Post match the brawl is on with the Squad being cleared out (minus Kenny, who ran off). Old school dancing ensues.

Robert Patrick is in the Marine. Good grief wrap this stuff up already.

Brooke Hogan has an album coming out tomorrow.

DX is in the back to plug their merchandise but they’re also not worried about Randy Orton and Edge. They drop down like they’re in an elevator….but Shawn says it’s out of order and walks away like he is going down a flight of stairs. Shawn’s lame dad jokes are always good for a chuckle.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

Vince McMahon runs into Eric Bischoff and Jonathan Coachman. They’re cool with each other before the main event and Vince plugs Controversy Creates Cash.

We look back at Cena getting beaten down.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Eric Bischoff, Jonathan Coachman, Shawn Michaels, Lita and Edge are all at ringside, though Vince is off on the phone with his broker. After a quick joke about Edge and Orton’s relationship, we’re ready to go. We take a break before the bell (it’s so easy) and HHH starts fast with a knee to the face into a suplex. Orton is already out on the floor so HHH posts him and takes it back inside.

Orton gets in a shot to the face and grabs a DDT, setting up the posing. The big knee drop gets two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and HHH hits a jumping knee to the heel, only to have Lita grab the leg. Orton gets in the backbreaker but the RKO is broken up, with Orton being shoved into both the referee and Shawn. Edge spears HHH so Shawn superkicks Coach. Shawn gets posted by Edge but Bischoff hands Orton a chair to knock HHH out for the pin (as JR’s voice is almost out).

Rating: C+. It is usually better to keep this one short and that is what they did here. Orton vs. HHH does not have the best chemistry so having them out there for about seven minutes with interference makes it a little bit better. It was also the right way to go as Orton needed to win a match, even if it should have happened last week.

Overall Rating: C. I like the fact that they didn’t make this feel like some big, special show after the Raw Family Reunion a few weeks back. This show focused on Cyber Sunday, as it should have, because the show is in less than two weeks. I’m not exactly interested in a lot of what they are doing, but a little bit of a build is better than none at all. Not a great show here, but at least they did something.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: October 20, 2006
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,169
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s time for another guest stars show as John Cena and Big Show are here to scout for the upcoming Champion Of Champion match. That could make for a bit of a problem though as King Booker is defending the title against Batista following a #1 contenders match on last week’s show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

MVP vs. Kane

MVP talks some trash before Kane’s entrance but the fire cuts him off. Some right hands rock Kane to start but he shows MVP how they are really done. A shot to the face puts MVP on the floor but Kane throws him right back inside. That’s fine with MVP, who gets in a shot to the knee to take over. Back in and Kane uppercuts his way up from his knee, setting up a big boot. There’s the side slam into the top rope clothesline as JBL continues to not be able to stand MVP. A low blow breaks up the chokeslam for the DQ, allowing MVP to run away.

Elijah Burke vs. Vito

Sylvester Terkay is at ringside and Vito is a French maid this week. Vito punches him down to start but misses a top rope elbow as JBL keeps freaking out over the dress. Burke sends him into the corner and some elbows to the back set up the armbar. That’s broken up as Vito makes the comeback but spends too much time messing with the skirt, allowing Burke to knock him into the ropes. Terkay’s big boot finishes Vito.

Rating: D+. Hopefully this starts wrapping up the dress bit as there is little reason to feature Vito once he loses like this. There wasn’t much of a shelf life to the gimmick anyway and we are long past the expiration point. Burke and Terkay seem great on paper but for some reason nothing has clicked yet. That is becoming quite the trend for them and that isn’t a bad thing.

Gregory Helms and Matt Hardy talk trash to each other, with Helms asking how long it has been since Hardy held a title. Teddy Long comes in to give Helms a match with the Undertaker tonight.

Fans have seen the Marine.

William Regal talks about being a great wrestler who has held lots of titles but that has not been the case as of late. He has been focused on everyone else and that is stopping right now. Regal introduces us to his friend Dave Taylor, who is here to help him stay on track.

William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Funaki

Regal is in purple trunks for a change. A knee to the face rocks Funaki to start as JBL makes racist jokes. Taylor comes in to drop Funaki ribs first across the top rope and Regal comes back in for a chinlock. With that not working, Taylor comes back in to hit Funaki in the face. Regal does the same and a boot to Funaki’s face cuts off his comeback attempt. A knee sends Funaki into the corner though and Scotty is allowed to come in with Regal not even trying to break it up. Taylor hits a butterfly suplex with a floatover to pin Scotty.

Rating: C-. This was all about establishing Taylor and Regal as a serious team and it did that well enough. There was no drama here but it wasn’t that kind of a match. The tag division needs a fresh team and these two could work out rather well in that role. Let them try as they already have a chemistry and experience. Could it be that much worse than everyone else?

Video on Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

I Quit match. Chavo hammers away in the corner to start but the 619 chants bring Rey back up. Rey sends him outside for the big running flip dive and they’re both down on the floor. A posting puts Chavo down again, followed by Rey dropkicking a chair into Chavo’s face in the corner.

Back up and a Vickie distraction lets Chavo start in on the leg, which has a history of working against Rey. Chavo even ties the chair around the knee for a frog splash, which still isn’t enough to make Rey give up. They go up the ramp with Chavo staying on the knee, only to have Rey kick him off the ramp. The running seated senton to the floor hits Chavo again, which shows you just how high that stage is.

A Crossface isn’t enough to make Chavo quit so Rey chokes with the chair. He can’t follow up though, allowing Chavo to throw him onto some equipment cases. Rey gets in a right hand and climbs the lighting structure but Chavo knocks him into a Tree of Woe in the structure. Some chair shots to the knee are enough to make Rey give up.

Rating: B-. That’s the last you’ll be seeing of Rey until August as he needed another knee surgery. This was a heck of a showcase for Chavo, who really does not have a major win to his credit. Rey was World Champion about three months ago so this still carries some weight. Rey needed to go away and it was nice to see them elevate someone on his way out for a bit.

Gregory Helms vs. Undertaker

Non-title. Helms tries to dodge a bit but gets punched in the corner, taking the turnbuckle pad off in the process. Snake Eyes into a big boot connects but here is Mr. Kennedy for a distraction. That doesn’t exactly work as Undertaker sends him into the steps and drives Helms into the post. A chokeslam into the Tombstone finishes Helms in a hurry.

Post match Kennedy tries to jump him again but gets knocked down. The threat of a chokeslam sends Kennedy running.

Here is Miz to host a Diva Dance Off. The women come out but we need judges, so here are Nick and Aaron Carter. Miz brings up Layla having Big Dick Johnson dance on him a few weeks ago but gives her a hug to show that everything is ok. The women dance, Kristal grinds on Miz, he picks her as the winner, the Carters say it was Layla, a catfight ensues. More of the same from this stuff.

The Marine has actions scenes.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending with Big Show and John Cena coming out to watch. Batista powers him into the corner to start before grabbing a headlock. Booker’s shoulder can’t take Batista down but Booker manages to send him outside for a cheap shot from a hidden Finlay. Back in and the Book End gives Booker two and Batista gets tied up in the ropes.

Some forearms to the chest and a kick to the head knock him to the floor for a crash Back in and we hit the chinlock but Batista fights up for the clothesline comeback. The spinebuster connects so Booker goes outside, where Batista drives him into Big Show. Back in and Batista hits the spear but Show comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if there was even the first hint of drama to the result but these two still don’t have the best matches together. Maybe it’s a styles clash or something but it really doesn’t fit all that well together. The ending being a matter of time rather than any doubt didn’t do them any favors though and there was only so much that they could do.

Post match the big brawl is on with Cena and Batista taking Big Show down. Teddy Long comes out to make the tag match for next week.

Overall Rating: C-. Chavo Guerrero and Rey Mysterio saved the day here as otherwise this would have been one of the lamest Smackdowns in a long time. It’s pretty clear that the show is being put on hold until we get to Cyber Sunday and that makes for some rather dull television. The wrestling was ok but it didn’t feel like much of it mattered, at least not in the present. Totally skippable show, though Chavo vs. Rey was good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 16, 2006
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,169
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are on the way to Cyber Sunday and that means things are going to start getting some of the stipulations set up. The main event is already set up as John Cena, Big Show and Booker T. will have the big Champion of Champions match. We need something else to be added to the card though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s DX to cut off Lilian Garcia’s intro….or at least their music does, as we have Randy Orton and Edge dressed as DX instead. Orton (as HHH) has the big nose and Edge (as Shawn Michaels) is already favoring his back. Edge talks about how this is all they need to do to get people’s interest and sell some merchandise. Orton says the fans suck but here is the real DX to interrupt. Shawn to HHH: “Do I look like that much of an idiot?”

HHH doesn’t get why Edge and Orton are doing this because they are already huge stars. Edge had a highest rated segment on Raw, even if Edge couldn’t really rise to the occasion. And yes they have photos to prove things. Then there is Randy Orton, who is the #1 downloaded superstar on the internet….at least in the gay community. I will now pause for all of the AJ Styles jokes and come back with HHH showing various photos of Orton wearing only a towel.

One of them happens to be Shawn from Playgirl, sending Shawn into a panic. Shawn: “I WAS YOUNG! I WAS STUPID! YOU TOLD ME GIRLS BOUGHT THAT MAGAZINE!” Orton says he wants HHH tonight, but HHH says he go that way. Edge tries to make it more clear and phrases things badly as well. The match is on and the early fight goes to DX as Orton and Edge are cleared out in a hurry. Shawn freaking out is always good for a chuckle.

Spirit Squad vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title and Cryme Tyme is making their debut. JTG and Johnny start things off with JTG snapping off a hiptoss before handing it off to Shad. The big boot has Johnny in trouble but Mikey comes in for a bulldog on JTG. The chinlock goes on but a suplex is broken up, allowing the hot tag to Shad. Everything breaks down and Shad’s kick to the face gets two on Johnny with Mikey making the save. The Samoan drop/running flip neckbreaker finishes Mikey.

Rating: C. I know the gimmick is not something that would pass today (and probably shouldn’t have back then) but Cryme Tyme has grown a lot on me over the years. They work well together and Shad is a solid big man. Throw in a good finisher and what else could you need from a midcard team? The Spirit Squad is desperate for some new challengers so this is a good time for a debut.

During the break, Kenny yelled at the rest of the team and walked out.

Melina and Johnny Nitro promise a celebrity appearance.

The Marine has premiered. It wasn’t exactly a blockbuster, but it did premiere.

Jonathan Coachman welcomes King Booker and Queen Sharmell as his guests and gives them the run of his office. Cryme Tyme comes in and takes Coach’s food and leaves. Booker didn’t understand a word they said because he doesn’t speak Ebonics. They seem to have stolen Booker’s wallet as well.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and we start fast with Masters knocking Hardy into the corner. Crazy and Benjamin fight on the floor as Masters’ suplex gets two on Hardy. Some shoulders in the corner are broken up and Hardy hammers away until Crazy sends him outside. Shelton comes back in for a Tower of Doom and some near falls to send us to a break.

Back with Masters suplexing Hardy again before slugging it out with Benjamin. Crazy comes back in with a missile dropkick but gets caught in the Masterlock. Benjamin springboards in with a Blockbuster to Masters for the save but Hardy is back in to clean house. A basement dropkick puts Benjamin on the floor and there’s a backdrop to do the same to Crazy. The Twist of Fate into a Swanton finishes Masters to retain Hardy’s title.

Rating: C+. This was all about keeping things moving instead of wasting time on a bunch of stuff that wasn’t needed. That’s the right idea for a four way and Hardy getting the win was the only way to go. None of these three are exactly interesting challengers for Hardy but he needed some momentum after last week’s loss and beating three lame challengers at once will work well enough.

Booker is telling the cops about Cryme Tyme robbing him (they all look alike to him) when Big Show comes in. Bickering ensues but Vince McMahon comes in with an announcement. He’ll wait until the third champion is here though.

Here are Melina and Johnny Nitro to introduce their celebrity friend. It’s….Kevin Federline, best known for being married to Brittney Spears and…..well for looking like an idiot. Federline thanks the two of them but says it isn’t great to be here because the people aren’t treating the three of them with respect. Don’t worry though, because he knows these are the same people buying magazines with his face on them. Melina asks for one of his new raps, but the people can wait until his album comes out.

Cue John Cena, who isn’t happy with the lack of rapping. He’ll handle it instead and calls Federline the world’s biggest scumbag. Federline has less talent than Paris Hilton and apparently likes seamen. Cena says he would be spearing Brittney if Federline wasn’t around and that’s enough to get Federline charging. Cena beats up Nitro but here are Big Show and King Booker to interrupt.

Before anything else can be said or done, here’s Vince McMahon to cut everyone off. Vince hypes up the Cyber Sunday main event and announces that one of them will be defending their title. The fans will get to vote on who defends, and voting is open right now. I could have sworn he announced that last week, but it’s the logical way to go anyway.

Everyone but Cena leaves so he calls Federline back into the ring. Cena knows Federline considers himself a trendsetter so he can tell people who to vote for. Federline wants Cena’s title defended so he can lose, meaning it’s an FU to a nice pop. The Federline stuff is as dated as anything can be, but seeing an annoying quote unquote celebrity get beaten up is fine.

Carlito vs. Rob Conway

Conway hammers away to start but Carlito is back with the left hands and springboard elbow. A missed charge lets Conway get two but the Backstabber gives Carlito the fast pin.

Post match, Carlito gets to spit the apple.

Edge and Lita meet Vince McMahon in the back, with Vince making Edge/Randy Orton vs. DX for Cyber Sunday. As for a stipulation, how about a guest referee? Like say Jonathan Coachman, Eric Bischoff or Vince himself! Vince agrees and we’re on.

This Week In Wrestling History: When Snuka Flies, Muraco Dies.

Two of the guys from Jackass are brought into the ring for a chat but here is Armando Alejandro Estrada, who isn’t impressed. They’re willing to do anything, so here is Umaga so destruction can ensue. Oh man I had forgotten about this thing.

The Marine is still a thing.

Women’s Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Candice Michelle vs. Maria vs. Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Bra and panties match and all four have already lost their first round matches. Lilian has to read an introduction that is so long that she needs several cards and even Lawler is mocking her for taking so much time. Maria loses her top, Torrie loses her top, Victoria loses her pants and Maria gets rid of Torrie’s pants to win.

We actually get some brackets:

Melina

Mickie James

Lita

Maria

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Shawn Michaels and Edge are here too. HHH does the pre-match intro and includes one more Orton gay joke. Orton jumps HHH from behind to start and pounds away but gets sent outside. We take a break with Orton holding his knee and come back with HHH hitting a knee drop for two. Cue Lita for a distraction so Orton can send HHH over the corner, allowing Edge to get in a DDT on the floor.

A swinging neckbreaker gives Orton two and we hit the neck crank. Orton’s powerslam gets a few near falls but HHH comes back with a bunch of right hands. There’s the jumping knee and the facebuster but an Edge distraction lets Orton get in the backbreaker for two. Lita offers another distraction though and Edge hits HHH low. That’s not enough though as Lita throws in a chair but Shawn hits Orton low for the save. HHH chairs Orton down for the pin.

Rating: C. And that’s how the DX vs. Orton/Edge feud starts: with DX overcoming the odds and winning the first match in the main event of Raw. That isn’t the best sign for the future of the feud and makes Orton/Edge, who are already looking up at DX, look like they’re in trouble to start. One of the biggest problems with DX has been giving them a real challenge and this didn’t make me think they are in any danger. That’s not a good way to start a feud and it isn’t the best look here.

Overall Rating: C+. This show went by quickly and that was a good thing. They introduced some new things such as Cryme Tyme (who instantly felt like the biggest team in the division) and Edge/Orton as the top villains, but the wrestling was often skippable. In other words, this week’s show was about setting the table for the future so while it worked out well enough, it isn’t a show you need to see because it’s an early chapter in a lot of longer stories.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 9, 2006
Location: Columbia Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a special three hour show this week with Raw Family Reunion. A bunch of people who have not appeared in a long time will be back and that could make for some interesting moments. We are also in for the start of some new stories as John Cena finally vanquished Edge for good last week inside a cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

New opening sequence, featuring To Be Loved by Papa Roach. I always liked that one.

All of the commentators welcome us to the show, which does give it the pay per view feeling.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. He’s hyped up to be here on this special edition of the show, which is also the 698^th episode. Before he gets going though, he has a message for Edge, after the chairs, the cages, the violence and the carnage, the champ is still here. Cue King Booker and Queen Sharmell from Smackdown with Booker bragging about how he retained the title in a four way last night at No Mercy. He also brings up his last appearance on Raw, when he made Cena kiss his feet.

Cena does a better British accent and talks about coming to Smackdown where he beat Booker’s team in a six man. The fight is almost on but here’s Big Show to say he’s the Champion Of Champions. Show: “You’ve got a white guy who talks like he’s black.” Show: “What you talking about Willis?” Show says Booker is a black guy who talks like Prince Charles so Cena calls him the Michelin Man. Cena doesn’t think much of Show calling himself the most dominant giant ever. Cena: “There’s another giant. Andre, The. Look it up.”

Show says he’s heard that before and if Andre was here, Show would beat him up too (that sounds so wrong). Booker asks what the point is and then they argue over whose movie was best, with Show bringing up the Waterboy. Booker talks about being in Ready to Rumble and….the other two crack up laughing (I mean…..ok yeah it was that bad). Cena thinks they should figure out who the best is and hammers on Show, who clears the ring in a hurry.

Teddy Long, Paul Heyman and Jonathan Coachman (the bosses) argue in the back over what we just saw. Three matches are made for later: Show vs. Jeff Hardy, Booker vs. Rob Van Dam and Cena vs. Undertaker. Well that just escalated.

Umaga vs. Kane

Armando Alejandro Estrada (carrying a long wooden stick) is here with Umaga and the loser leaves Raw. Kane slugs away to start but Umaga hammers him into the corner. Umaga misses a charge into the corner though and eats an elbow, only to knock Kane outside in a hurry. We take a break and come back with the running hip attack being cut off with a grab of the throat.

The chokeslam is broken up though as Umaga knocks him down and hits a top rope splash. The Samoan Spike is blocked as well and now the chokeslam connects. There’s the top rope clothesline but Estrada hits Kane with the board, setting up the Samoan Spike to give Umaga the pin.

Rating: D+. I wouldn’t expect any long matches tonight and that is not the worst thing in the world. This was all about wrapping up their rivalry (at least for now) and it worked out well enough. Beating Kane is almost a required merit badge for a monster so at least they got it out of the way again here. Kane really needs a change of scenery anyway.

Post match Kane gets the big sendoff round of applause.

South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier is here and gets an introduction from Lilian Garcia.

Kane goes to leave but the Highlanders stop him to say it was an honor to be here with him. The beating doesn’t take long and Kane walks out.

DX has to give a formal apology for everything they did last week when they ran the show, which apparently they weren’t allowed to do. HHH doesn’t let Shawn finish any of them though because none of them were their fault. Shawn apologizes for beating Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch in a street fight, but that isn’t until later this evening. They realize they’re live so it’s time for a quick merchandise plug. These things are horribly corny but they make me chuckle.

Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Hardy hammers away to start as Tazz actually mentions that Show is from South Carolina in the kind of trivia that most commentators wouldn’t think to include. Show shrugs everything off and slams Hardy down, only to miss the Vader Bomb elbow. The Twist of Fate is countered but Jeff manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope.

The Whisper in the Wind sets up the Swanton for two, only to have Show grab the cobra clutch backbreaker (dubbed the Big Sleep). Now it’s the chokeslam for the pin. Too short to rate, but Joey citing the Hardcore Title as proof that Hardy was extreme was funny. They really didn’t have anyone from Raw other than the new Intercontinental Champion though? Like, Carlito wasn’t available?

Post match Johnny Nitro runs in to beat on Hardy but gets laid out by Show as well.

The Marine trailer.

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Street fight, but first, HHH has to say Vince isn’t here because he can’t find one big enough in South Carolina. HHH mentions Cocky, the University of South Carolina mascot, who appears on the screen. He isn’t here though, because apparently he has representation. Fans: “GAME! COCKS!” HHH: “No no. I’m the Game, he’s the cock.” HHH makes every joke about the name you can imagine and Shawn looks ready to bite through his lip.

Anyway, the match starts fast with HHH being sent outside, where he sends Cade face first into the announcers’ table. A double whip sends HHH into the steps and an atomic drop into a running big boot to the face drops Shawn. The whipping is on, which makes things a lot more difficult as Shawn and Cade look a good bit alike here. HHH comes back with the chair and Cade is busted open off a shot to the head. The table is set up at ringside and Shawn elbows Murdoch through it in a hurry. Back in and the superkick into the Pedigree finishes Cade.

Rating: C+. This was short and the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt but it was intense while it lasted. DX needed to break a bit of a sweat and while Cade and Murdoch aren’t the biggest opponents, so this was a nice little surprise. At least they got violent in a street fight, which isn’t the case often enough in these things.

In the back, Edge blames DX for costing him the World Title last week. Tonight, it’s the Cutting Edge.

We look back at Kane losing.

Here’s Shelton Benjamin to say this is almost his hometown so he isn’t leaving without some competition from any brand.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit takes him into the corner to start but Benjamin manages a quick shot to escape. A drop onto the ropes sets up the chinlock but Benoit fights up with the running forearm to the head. The German suplex connects on Benjamin, though the Swan Dive only connects with the mat. Not that it matters as Benoit grabs the Crossface for the fast win.

Paul Heyman tries to give ECW credit for Benoit but Teddy Long isn’t having it. Coach brings in Super Crazy and asks which brand is the best. All three try to get Crazy to say their brand is the best but the only thing Crazy can do is say all three brands are great. Long: “YOU SPEAK ENGLISH???” Crazy: “Si.” The bosses are all stunned.

Chavo Guerrero/William Regal/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley/Rey Mysterio

Chavo starts with Rey and is quickly hurricanranaed out to the floor. Finlay and Regal have to bail to the floor to avoid a double 619 and the big brawl is on as we take a fast break. Back with Cole telling us not to adjust our sets because this is indeed Raw. Has anyone in the world ever thought they were on the wrong channel (or night in this case) and actually adjusted their set? Maybe turning the sharpness up and the contrast down makes it ECW?

Anyway, we’re back with Finlay hitting a shoulderbreaker on Rey so Chavo can hammer away in the corner. A big kick to the head allows Rey to bring tag Batista….but the referee doesn’t see it. The sitout bulldog plants Chavo and allows the real tag to Batista for the house cleaning. The Jackhammer gets two on Chavo as everything breaks down. Rey hits the top rope hurricanrana into the 619 into the spinebuster into the frog splash for the pin (as Lashley just gets to look on for some reason).

Rating: C. Nothing but a showcase match here and that’s all it needed to be. There is something nice about taking six of the best a show has and throwing them out there for a pretty easy night’s work and that’s all they did here. They had some star power and it keeps Chavo vs. Rey going (assuming they want to) and the fans had some fun. Not too bad.

Eric Bischoff has a book.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young get to come out to the stage for a quick wave. Nothing wrong with that.

John Cena trained with Marines at Paris Island, South Carolina.

Booker doesn’t think much of Cena and promises to dominate RVD tonight.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Melina walks up the steps and Lawler is livid about the lack of splits entrance. Actually we’ll make this a lumberjack match, with the Extreme Strip Poker participants at ringside. They both get sent outside to start and then get sent back inside because yes, this is a lumberjack match. Back in and they slug it out until Torrie gets two off a suplex. A Kristal distraction lets Melina grab a rollup with trunks to win.

Post match Torrie gives Kristal a Stink Face.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference. Edge is WWE Champion here so this is a bit out of date.

King Booker vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Booker misses a kick to the face to start and gets rolled up for two as JBL and Tazz bicker about announcing prowess. Van Dam gets sent shoulder first into the post and Booker hits the hook kick to the face as the arguing continues. Cole: “I’M BEGGING ANYBODY TO LET ME CALL A NEAR FALL!” Van Dam fights up and elbows Booker in the face but Sharmell crotches him on top, allowing Booker to hit a spinning kick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another short match but they did what they were supposed to do. Just let them get in and out while keeping Van Dam protected. It’s not like the champions are likely to lose here and they didn’t waste time trying to make us believe otherwise. These two can have a better match if they are given the chance, but that wasn’t the point here.

Cryme Tyme debuts next week.

The Spirit Squad’s Mitch admits that he sucks but he’ll beat Ric Flair tonight because Flair has no friends.

Vince McMahon returns to interrupt the bosses and has an idea: a triple threat Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion match at Cyber Sunday with the fans voting on who gets to defend their title. Yeah they like the plan.

Clip of the Marine premiere at Camp Pendleton.

Mitch vs. Ric Flair

The Spirit Squad is here so Ric brings out Roddy Piper, Arn Anderson, Ted DiBiase and IRS. That’s a collection of great legends and IRS! If nothing else the Horsemen theme is great to hear every time. The Squad runs off in fear and Flair shrugs off the forearms to the back, setting up the Figure Four for the win in less than a minute.

Here are Edge and Lita for the Cutting Edge. They don’t waste time and bring out Randy Orton in the guest. Edge talks about how Orton impressed him two years ago when he won the World Title but since then, he has done absolutely nothing. Orton doesn’t like that and it’s even worse when Edge talks about all of Orton’s big losses. We see a clip of HHH throwing Orton out of Evolution and beating him down and Edge says it was all HHH ruining his career. Now history is repeating itself and HHH cost him the title last week. Someone has to stand up to DX and it should be the two of them. Hands are shaken and we have an alliance.

John Cena vs. Undertaker

Non-title again. They circle each other to start until Cena hammers away in the corner, only to get tossed into the corner so Undertaker can show him how it’s done. Old School is countered though and it’s a superplex to give Cena two. Undertaker grabs the bearhug but Cena is out in a hurry for the flying shoulder. A running DDT gives Cena two and the sit up freaks him out. The FU is countered and Undertaker hits the chokeslam but here are Big Show and Booker to jump Undertaker.

Rating: C. Another match that didn’t matter much but the atmosphere was certainly there. You don’t see two actual titans of WWE going at it very often and while Cena was still climbing, he was the top star in the company here and putting him in the ring with Undertaker feels important. There was no one anyone was taking a pin here so for once, the run in was the perfect call.

Post match Mr. Kennedy comes in after Undertaker as well and the two of them go up the ramp. The champs are left alone and Cena drops Booker, setting up the STFU on Show. An FU plants Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As you can probably guess, this wasn’t about the wrestling itself and for once it wasn’t even about the legends. This was about making people care about all three brands on one night and putting a new coat of paint on Raw (or at least giving it a new theme song). That worked out well and it felt like an important show without anything that dragged the show down. It’s not a masterpiece but it felt energized and I had fun, which is the point of a big special like this. Nice show and they did well when they were trying to.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 2, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a big title match as Raw doesn’t have a pay per view in October. This time around it is going to be the grand finale (for now at least) between Edge and John Cena as Edge is challenging for the Raw World Title inside a cage. Other than that, we are going to be seeing more of DX vs. the McMahons, or at least Jonathan Coachman acting as their surrogate. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is DX to open things up, including a look at the McMahons being destroyed in the Cell during their entrance. HHH hits the catchphrases and shows us a shot of Vince McMahon’s face being put into Big Show’s…..uh, yeah. Before Shawn can tell you what you can do if you’re not down with that, here’s Jonathan Coachman to interrupt. On behalf of the McMahons, it’s time for a Texas Tornado match. Why does it always have to be a Texas tornado match? Why not a Kansas Kollision? Or a Wichita Whirlwind if you want to keep up the theme?

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Charlie Haas/Viscera vs. Highlanders

DX cleans house to start but get caught in the corner by the numbers advantage. Viscera’s big splash hits Haas though and DX hammers away at the monster. A double shoulder takes him down and it’s a facebuster/atomic drop to put Murdoch on the floor. There’s a double DDT to Viscera and Shawn drops the top rope elbow on Haas. The superkick into the Pedigree puts Haas away in a hurry.

Post match Coach freaks out and says we aren’t done tonight because he runs this show. HHH says maybe DX should and chases Coach to the back because they’re in charge tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Jeff starts fast with something close to a Sling Blade and drops the leg between the legs. That’s enough to send Nitro bailing to the floor and Hardy hits a dive off the apron. We come back from a break with Nitro holding a reverse chinlock with a knee in Hardy’s back.

Melina screams a lot as Hardy is sent into the post, setting up a backbreaker for two. Nitro cranks on both arms but Hardy pulls himself up and kicks Nitro away for a break. A few more shots to the face put Nitro on the floor with Hardy being right there to dropkick Nitro in the face. The barricade run into the dive takes out Nitro and Melina (for the required ankle injury) and it’s the Swanton to give Hardy the title.

Rating: C+. Not too bad here and it was nice to see Hardy actually get the big win here instead of having him come up short again. Nitro has gotten a nice boost out of the title and should be fine going forward. A rematch wouldn’t surprise me either, especially with Cyber Sunday on the way soon. Hardy winning the title still feels like an important deal and that is how a title change should come across.

We look at Edge cashing in the Money in the Bank briefcase to take the World Title from John Cena for the first time.

DX is outside of Coach’s office but he won’t let them in. Jokes about what Coach is doing in there (it could put his eye out) abound.

Jeff Hardy is happy to win the title, with the interview turning into an ad for Maria appearing on ECW’s Extreme Strip Poker next week. Melina comes in to screech so Jeff puts his hand over her mouth.

Coach is on the phone with Vince McMahon, who tells Coach to do….something. That sends Coach outside into the hallway where he can’t find DX. He walks a little ways but eventually runs into HHH, with Shawn popping up on the other side. We get the Good, The Bad And The Ugly knockoff music until DX throws Coach into the women’s locker room.

HHH is rather pleased as they go in, with Shawn closing his eyes. The women tell Shawn where Coach went so he gives pursuit while HHH stops to flirt with Torrie Wilson, Kelly Kelly and Mickie James. Shawn pulls him back and the chase continues until Coach finds Big Dick Johnson. Then he slips on a wet floor, allowing DX to chase him outside. DX throws him in a trashcan, with a janitor throwing trash on top of him and wheeling it away.

Here’s how John Cena got the title back from Edge at the Royal Rumble.

DX comes up to the Spirit Squad and tells them that there is a new dress code around here (in a Johnny Ace impression). The Squad protests but the power of the sledgehammer makes them change their minds.

Umaga vs. Snitsky

Umaga, who is facing Kane in a Loser Leaves Raw match next week, hits a pop up Samoan drop, the running hip attack in the corner, and the Samoan Spike for the fast pin.

Randy Orton is sick of hearing about Carlito so it’s time for an RKO.

The Marine has action scenes.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

Orton starts fast and knocks Carlito outside, followed by a whip into the post back inside. Carlito’s legs are fine enough to snap off a hurricanrana but Orton pulls him down by the arm again. That’s broken up so Carlito slugs away and hits the springboard back elbow. A springboard flip dive into a Lionsault gets two but Orton sends him to the apron. Carlito springboards in with a high crossbody but Orton rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. Carlito continues to be just there and I don’t particularly care to see him do anything here. He’s not someone I want to cheer for or want to see get his revenge on Orton, because there is nothing to Orton. All he does is make spitting jokes and used to date Trish. Is there anything else to him other than that?

We look at Rob Van Dam winning the Raw World Title from John Cena at One Night Stand, with an assist from Edge.

The Spirit Squad needs more time to change and refuse to come out, so DX threatens to strip them of the Tag Team Titles. HHH then describes them as “gay”.

Cryme Tyme steals a doughnut from a police office and run away.

Nicky vs. Sgt. Slaughter

The Squad are here as cheerleaders in some rather revealing uniforms (Which don’t cover their underwear. I’ll spare you the question of why DX had those.). Nicky misses a right hand, meaning he has to go to the ropes to get out of the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter gets two off a gutbuster but gets sent outside for the group beatdown. Back in and the USA chant goes on, only to be cut off by Nicky’s sleeper. Another Cobra Clutch is broken up and Nicky slaps on the armbar. Cue DX on screen to say that Nicky forgot his (female) underwear, allowing Slaughter to grab the rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was little more than a way to have the Squad get embarrassed by DX and that worked out well enough. It’s not like the Squad has any real capital to lose at this point so having someone like Slaughter, especially under these circumstances, beat him makes any difference. Just get the titles off of them already though because the joke of them losing is getting old.

Here’s how Edge won the title from John Cena and Rob Van Dam on Raw in July.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Victoria vs. Mickie James

DX orders them to wear lingerie, which is….pretty much about the same as they usually wear. Victoria hammers away in the corner to start and fires off some knees to the ribs. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked without much effort but Victoria’s Boston crab is escaped as well. Victoria sends her to the apron so Mickie tries a sunset flip, with Victoria grabbing the ropes for the block. The referee breaks that up so it’s a sunset flip to give Mickie the pin.

Post match, Victoria freaks out.

Commercial for Eric Bischoff’s Controversy Creates Cash book, focusing on him firing people.

Chris Masters is asking Bischoff about the book when DX comes in. Bischoff calls them an NWO rip off, which Shawn deems BLASPHEMY. That’s enough to send Bischoff running, so HHH asks Masters when he’s going to write a book. Masters has been thinking of writing a nutrition book, and HHH even has the title: “How To Lose 50lbs In Four Weeks”. Masters leaves in a hurry. Shawn is still worried about being an NWO rip off but HHH says he who laughs last laughs best. Then they laugh.

Then John Cena won the title back from Edge at Unforgiven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge, with Lita, is challenging in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. Cena has a bad arm coming in but the good arm is fine enough to ram Edge into the cage over and over. A kick to the face rocks Cena though and the bad arm goes into the cage. Cena’s suplex cuts off Edge’s escape attempt and gets two as JR is right there to explain that Edge would have won the title had he won. See how quick and easy it can be?

The FU is countered into the Impaler for two and Edge slaps on a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Cena’s Throwback gets two. Edge pulls him off the cage though and it’s a spear to drive Cena into the steal for a good looking crash. Now it’s Edge going up but Cena catches him with a super bulldog as we take a break. Back with Cena using the good arm for a belly to belly suplex as we cut to some Marines watching from the crowd.

Edge is back up to throw Cena’s bad arm into the cage but Cena is right there again to stop the escape attempt. They sit on top and slug it out with Cena being knocked back in first. Cena pulls him back in as well but Edge gets in a superplex for two. Edge climbs but gets crotched on top, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. The FU is blocked with a grab of the cage though and Edge sends him head first into the cage again.

Another FU is countered again to give Edge two again so he tries to escape. That’s broken up by Cena, so Lita grabs Edge’s arms as she throws in a chair. The referee ejects Lita but the referee gets bumped. A heck of a chair shot knocks Edge down to set up the STFU but here are Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch to take Cena out. Cue DX to make the save though and Shawn superkicks Murdoch into the door into Edge’s head. The FU retains Cena’s title.

Rating: B. Good stuff here and it felt like the big blowoff to the feud. They needed to wrap the thing up here as it has been going on for about eight months now and there isn’t much else to do. The good thing is that Edge stayed strong in defeat, and now they are ready to move on to something else. Cena needs a fresh challenger and we can get somewhere else soon enough, but for now they had the big finale and it worked out well.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ALL about the main event with the DX shenanigans just filling in time elsewhere. What we got was a nice show built around one match and that worked out fine. They can start things up again next week as the build towards Cyber Sunday can begin, but this was good enough and it’s nice to see them set something up and then pay it off like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: September 29, 2006
Location: Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re less two weeks away from No Mercy and most of the card is set. That’s a good situation to be in as it means the next two weeks can be spent firming everything up and adding something here and there. This week is about the guest star though, as John Cena is here for a six man main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at King Booker’s Court invading Raw and making John Cena kiss Booker’s foot. Of course you know this means match.

Here’s Cena, with a banged up arm, to get things going. Before he gets into dealing with Booker and company, he is glad to be back on Smackdown because it’s like hosting Saturday Night Live. He’s the WWE Champion again and now he has a new movie coming out. Cena: “Go and see it a million times.”

Cena is glad to have the big fist and Tony Chimmel as the ring announcer. Then there’s JBL, who Cena remembers taking a beating the last time they saw him. Next to JBL is Michael Cole, the Whitney Houston to his Bobby Brown, and Cena has a gift for him. After handing Cole some balls, Cena talks about King Booker’s Court being here, but so are Batista and Bobby Lashley. Tonight, the odds are even.

Video on Vickie Guerrero joining forces with her nephew Chavo.

Rey Mysterio vs. Sylvester Terkay

Elijah Burke is here with Terkay….who tells Burke to take his place.

Rey Mysterio vs. Elijah Burke

Rey snaps off a headscissors to start as JBL goes into a rant about how Mysterio’s success in Mexico means nothing in the USA. Burke knocks him into the corner as we see the Guerreros being rather pleased in the back. That’s leg to in a hurry but Burke misses the top rope elbow. As JBL again called Terkay and Burke the best interracial team since the APA, Mysterio hits the spinning springboard crossbody to put Burke down. The 619 lets Rey Drop The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one other than Burke taking a loss that he probably didn’t need to lose. Terkay continues to be the star of the team, but that doesn’t mean his partner needs to be losing. Mysterio needed the boost on the way towards his match against Chavo at No Mercy, but I would think there is someone better to take the loss than Burke.

Post match Terkay jumps Mysterio from behind and lays him out with a Muscle Buster. We see the Guerreros seeming rather pleased in the back.

Ashley Massaro introduces a video on Brian Kendrick and Paul London.

Pit Bulls vs. KC James/Idol Stevens

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at No Mercy and Michelle McCool is here with James and Stevens. Stevens gets pounded down to start so it’s off to James to get taken into the wrong corner. A kick to the chest gets two on James as JBL gets on Cole for playing soccer. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kash’s moonsault press gets two on James. A small package has James in trouble but McCool turns it over to give James the pin.

Rating: C. Again, not much time to go anywhere but it could have been a lot worse. The problem is we’ve already seen Kendrick and London beat both teams so there is only so much interest in watching either of them get another shot. The lack of time might be annoying, but it was the right move here.

Marine video. Just have the thing come out already.

Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero

They trade some standing switches to start until Hardy drops him with a right hand. Back up and Chavo pulls Matt off the middle rope for a crash and it’s off to a seated armbar. That’s broken up as well and Matt hits some clotheslines into a backdrop. The bulldog gets two and there’s the middle rope legdrop. Vickie Guerrero gets on the apron for a distraction though, allowing Gregory Helms to come in for the real distraction. That’s enough for Chavo to grab a tornado DDT into the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Two talented guys getting to do their thing for a few minutes is almost always going to work and the interferences both made sense. Chavo is starting to feel like more of a player than Eddie’s sidekick and while I’m not sure how far up the ladder he can go, it’s nice to see someone as talented as he is finally getting a chance of his own outside of the Cruiserweight Title.

Post match, Helms hits Hardy with a Shining Wizard.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant knocked out Gorilla Monsoon in a boxing match.

Here’s Mr. Kennedy to bid farewell to Undertaker. There is a black wreath in the ring as Kennedy talks about how this is a tribute. Undertaker has taken on and beaten some of the all time greats and we see a video package on his career. All of those accolades leave him with nothing to prove though, which makes Kennedy feel bad about No Mercy. He doesn’t want to end Undertaker’s legacy, so he certainly doesn’t want to face him at Wrestlemania.

Therefore, as a man of good conscience, he cannot wrestle Undertaker at No Mercy. Cue Undertaker and, after about a five minute entrance, he promises to show no mercy and make Kennedy rest in peace. Then Kennedy goes to hit him with the microphone but it blows up in his hand to send him running.

King Booker’s Court is ready to make John Cena, Batista and Bobby Lashley hail the king tonight.

Commercial for Eric Bischoff’s Controversy Creates Cash book.

Miz vs. Tatanka

Miz sings his version of Sexy Back on the way to the ring. JBL: “I hate him.” Tatanka whips him into the corner to start but Miz gets out to the apron. A slide between the legs lets Miz hit the warpath as JBL makes every Native American joke he can think of in the first minute. Miz’s Russian legsweep gets two but Tatanka is back with his own for one. Now it’s Tatanka going on the warpath but Miz rolls him up with trunks for the fast win.

Rating: D+. The best thing about the way they are pushing Miz is he is racking up wins while not overstaying his welcome. I don’t think any of his matches have gone more than about five minutes or so and he is out there almost every week. Keep him warm, give him something to do and build him up a bit. This isn’t rocket science and what they’re doing is working well for an early stage.

Teddy Long is proud about last week’s debut being the second highest viewed show among adults on Friday night. Next week, Bobby Lashley and King Booker will pick each other’s poisons and you can find out their picks over the weekend on WWE.com.

Jimmy Wang Yang is a redneck and ready to face Sylvan.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Sylvan

Yang has the Confederate flag on his vest (JBL: “Who is he sponsored by? George Wallace?”) and comes out to I Might Have To Punch Someone Tonight. Sylvan hits him in the face to start but walks into a headscissors into a dropkick. A toss sends Sylvan out to the floor for a crash as Cole compares Yang to Dick Murdoch to needle JBL in a funny bit.

JBL: “I hate you. I hate everyone in the ring. The referee is Canadian so I hate him too.” Yang jawbreaks his way out of a chinlock and hammers away, including a spinwheel kick. Sylvan catches a charge in the corner though and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. As has been the case tonight, not much in the way of a match but at least the JBL rants were funny. Yang losing doesn’t matter in the slightest as he is nothing more than a goofy one note character who was never going to be a big star. Sylvan isn’t either, but that reaction in Montreal last week probably earned him one more win, which is fine.

Vito says it’s the man that makes the dress.

MVP has signed with Smackdown and we get clips from his signing press conference. He debuts at No Mercy.

No Mercy rundown.

King Booker/Finlay/William Regal vs. John Cena/Batista/Bobby Lashley

This does feel like a big match and we see a clip of Cena getting beaten down on Raw during the entrances. It’s a big brawl in the aisle to start before the bell and we take a break. Joined in progress with Batista shouldering Regal in the corner and nailing the spinebuster, which draws Finlay in for an early save. Booker comes in to hammer away on Batista, who is right back with the Jackhammer.

It’s off to Lashley, who gets kicked in the face by Booker. That’s fine with Lashley as he counters a leapfrog into a powerslam to plant Booker for two. Finlay comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press gutbuster but Lashley misses a charge into the post. He’s fine enough to make the tag to Cena and everything breaks down with Cena cleaning house. The STF to Booker is broken up and the Leprechaun slips Finlay the Shillelagh to hit Cena in the bad arm.

We take a break and come back with Regal working on the arm as only Regal can do. The villains take turns working on the arm until Cena suplexes Finlay away. Finlay pops back up with a clothesline though and the armbar goes on again. Another clothesline gives Finlay two and it’s back to Booker, who (after a bit of mistiming) misses the side kick to hit the ropes. Lashley gets the hot tag to clean house as everything breaks down. Batista almost gets caught with the ax kick but Lashley spears Booker down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty long match for a TV main event but it felt like it was something that mattered and that makes up for the problems. Above all else, the star power was here as you had this week’s version of the Super Best Friends against the top Smackdown villains and his cronies. That sounds like an important match and it worked out rather well, even if it was that long.

Post match Edge runs in to spear Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Cena brought the star power to the main event and that’s what mattered the most here, but the rest of the show was a bunch of quick matches (similar to this week’s Raw but not that bad). That made it feel more like a show that wasn’t designed to be a big deal on its own but rather a way to build towards the future. That’s not a bad thing, but it doesn’t make for the most thrilling show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 25, 2006
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still starting of the new John Cena Era and that seems to include one last gasp from Edge, but I can’t imagine him sticking around in the main event scene that much longer. You also have to imagine that the McMahons are going to be back sooner rather than later, because that’s how Raw works. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

And the power is out, meaning the commentary intro is in the dark.

Lilian Garcia’s intro can’t be heard and there is no video screen or graphics.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Lita vs. Candice Michelle

Lilian’s mic is back up to announce that we’re having a Women’s Title tournament. Lita’s video is at least playing on the screen above the ring. Before the bell, Lita gets a mic and says that thanks to a private meeting with Jonathan Coachman, she gets to pick the guest referee for this match. It’s Edge and, after a rather extensive weapons shirt, he spears Candice to give Lita the pin in about thirty seconds.

Post match (and actually mid match) John Cena runs in for the save as the lights start to come back up a bit.

Back from a break with the power on and Cena talking about Edge sabotaging the lights so he wouldn’t have to face him. Edge and Lita come back out and say that there isn’t going to be a title match tonight. They are going to celebrate, sending Cena into a few jokes about Lita being….yeah I think you get the joke. Cena suggests that various parts of her are as red as the Oklahoma University end zone and says that was for JR (who gives a thumbs up. Lita: “SCREW YOU!” Cena: “I don’t have ten bucks!”

Lita is sick of Cena making fun of her when Cena is the real joke. Edge and Lita are both better wrestlers than him, which Cena says is proof that she has the testicles in the relationship. And yeah, she might be better….if he was blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back (uh oh) and wasn’t afraid of a scorching case of herpes. Edge is ready to fight right now but it’s for Lita, with Cena’s arm tied behind his back.

Footage of the Mexico tour.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Kane jumps him during the rather long entrance and a side slam lets Nitro get the fur coat off. Melina’s distraction lets Nitro hit a chop block but Kane boots him out of the air. Cue Umaga with a chair to Kane’s back for the DQ barely a minute in.

Post match Umaga destroys Kane with the running hip attack and the steps to the head.

Shawn Michaels is readying the WWE Magazine but can’t find any advertisements for DX gear. After the plug is done, Maria comes up to ask DX about their gauntlet match tonight. Maria thinks their catchphrase is NO WAY so HHH offers a demonstration, with Shawn pulling him away. Instead HHH whispers it in her ear before leaving, with Eugene replacing them. Maria whispers the same thing in Eugene’s ear and he faints.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant vs. Gorilla Monsoon in a boxing match in Puerto Rico in 1977. Monsoon’s selling of the knockout is great.

Jonathan Coachman talks to Shelton Benjamin about his claims of being held down for being a black man last week. Vince McMahon’s hero is Dr. Martin Luther King! Benjamin: “I’m kind of partial to Michael Jordan myself.” Benjamin asks Coach what he knows about being a black man in this business and says Coach is “whitewashed.”

Jeff Hardy comes up with some of the most stereotypical slang you’ll ever hear (Cryme Tyme would think it was over the top) so Coach makes a match between them tonight. Benjamin: “Thanks, brother.” The two of them leave so Edge and Lita come out of Coach’s office and the Cena vs. Lita match is made. Coach even throws in a No Holds Barred stipulation, but if Edge touches Cena, he loses hit rematch. When did Coach grow a backbone?

Ric Flair vs. Mikey

The rest of the Spirit Squad is here too. Flair takes him down to start without much effort and unloads in the corner. Mikey snaps off a dropkick and slaps Flair in the corner, earning himself various shots to the face and chest. A shot to the knee looks to set up the Figure Four but Flair has to throw Nicky onto the rest of the Squad. Flair punches Mikey down for the pin. Yeah off a right hand.

Rating: D+. This mini feud continues and I’m oddly fine with a right hand beating Mikey. No matter how you look at the them, aside from Kenny, the entire Spirit Squad is a bunch of goons who only succeed at anything because they have a numbers advantage. Losing to a right hand might be a bit much, but I don’t think Mikey getting pinned by Ric Flair is going to end him.

John Cena was on MadTV.

D-Generation X vs. ???/???/???

DX is running a three team gauntlet and dedicate it to Vince McMahon. He isn’t here though, and they have a video on the Cell to explain his absence. The Highlanders are in first and lose in about fifteen seconds to a superkick. Robbie gets Pedigreed for a bonus and it’s Charlie Haas/Viscera as the second team. HHH runs Haas over to start and Shawn comes in to chop away in the corner. It’s off to Viscera, who gets crushed with a sidewalk slam and we take a break.

Back with Haas cranking on Shawn’s arms but he fights up and sends the villains into each other. The hot tag brings in HHH to clean house and a double clothesline drops Viscera. The Pedigree to Haas lays him out and a superkick knocks Viscera onto him for the double pin. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are in as the third team and a cheap shot to Michaels’ back puts him in trouble, allowing Cade to blast him with a clothesline. Everything breaks down in a hurry with DX being sent into various hard objects. Cade grabs a chair to knock Shawn down for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The longest match we saw was the middle portion, which was cut in half by the break. I’m not sure how this was supposed to be anything more than a workout for DX, but at least they didn’t treat it as anything else. This felt more like DX needing a reason to be on the show and until a new team is built up, that’s about as all as you can do with them.

Post match HHH grabs his own chair to clear the ring.

In two weeks: Family Reunion, a three hour special. Oh…yay.

Cryme Tyme robs a guy near an ATM.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks him down to start and then does it again for a bonus. A running forearm puts Shelton down for a change but he’s back with right hands and a bit one knocks Hardy into the barricade. Back in the chinlock goes on until hardy jawbreaks his way to freedom. The Whisper in the Wind connects but Shelton jumps up to the top, only to get shoved down for the Swanton. Shelton gets a boot on the rope and grabs the rope to block the Twist of Fate. That’s fine with Jeff, who small packages him for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. I have no idea what WWE is doing with these two and the segment with Hardy earlier was a little more than uncomfortable. At the same time, Shelton finding another way to lose is never a good thing despite how many times WWE has done it. I’ve given up on the false hope of him doing anything important anytime soon, but the racial stuff could get rather bad in a hurry.

John Cena has a wife in the Marina.

Carlito/Super Crazy vs. Randy Orton/Chris Masters

Carlito takes Masters down for an early near fall and it’s off to Crazy, who is powerbombed down in a hurry. Orton comes in and slaps on a chinlock, which is broken up in a hurry for the hot tag off to Carlito. House is cleaned and everything breaks down but Masters avoids Crazy’s moonsault. With Crazy sent outside, Masters tries the Masterlock on Carlito but gets reversed into the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to this one but it gives Carlito a quick boost to help him up after the Unforgiven loss. There are only so many things that you can do when the match was so definitive but at least they’re trying. The Super Crazy push is still a little odd, though at least they’re trying something new and that’s not a terrible idea.

Post match Orton catches Carlito with the RKO to leave him laying.

Here’s Jonathan Coachman for a chat and he has a surprise: Eric Bischoff of all people, who has not been here since he was fired last year. Bischoff is happy to be back and while he isn’t thrilled with being fired, he has written a book called Controversy Creates Cash. He’s telling the truth in the book, including the fact that Raw would not exist in this form without him and there would be no DX without the NWO. And then the music plays him off because that’s a little too far.

John Cena vs. Lita

Non-title, Cena’s arm is tied behind his back and Edge is here but can’t touch Cena. Lita pokes him in the eye and gets low blowed but the FU finishes her in less than a minute.

Post match here are King Booker, Finlay and William Regal from Smackdown (where Cena will be appearing in a six man tag later this week) for the big beatdown. Finlay gets in some Shillelagh shots and Booker takes off his boot because it’s time for Cena kiss the feet. JR: “WHEN DID BOOKER GET AN ENGLISH ACCENT???” Booker sits on the ropes as the beatdown knocks Cena out and his face is put onto Booker’s bare foot. Booker twirls in the robe before leaving, so Edge grabs a mic. The rematch for the title is next week and it’s inside a cage.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird show as there was one match which broke five minutes and it was a three fall gauntlet match. I’m not sure if they were a little spent after the international tour or whatever else but I did like the show flew by with a lot of things getting some time. Granted not everything needed to get time (like that Hardy/Shelton segment) but I did like the structure they were going with here. It wouldn’t work every week, though it worked rather well for a one off change.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 18, 2006
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Unforgiven has come and gone and the big story is John Cena winning the WWE Title from Edge in a pretty good TLC match. Other than that, DX defeated the McMahons and Big Show in what felt like the big blowoff to their feud but you never can tell around here. I’m curious as to where things go as we have a long time before the next Raw pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going and the booing is on before Lilian Garcia even finishes saying his name. After smiling at the booing, Cena says this is absolute chaos. The booing cuts him off again before Cena manages to say he was hit in the head a bunch of times last night and he can’t even remember what day it. Wait. It’s becoming clear now. The champ is here.

More booing makes Cena say that he knows there is a bit of unrest in the Force but Cena has been going through a lot in recent months. Like 3000 spears, 2000 sneak attacks, 1000 shots to the head, 1000 jokes involving Lita and head, and now we’re finally done. Cue Edge and Lita, with the former saying he has a rematch clause.

Cena says he respected Edge for the fight he put up last night and, after a CENA SUCKS chant, Cena says Edge has two options. He can have a one man live sex celebration and go screw himself, or have some backbone and cash in his rematch right now. Edge says this isn’t Canada because this is Canada’s inbred cousin, Montreal. He goes into a rant about how he survived last night and never gave up like the people in this arena would do.

Edge is going to take the title back, but not here in front of these people. The fans suddenly like the idea of Cena beating Edge up but Edge snaps, talking about everything Cena took from him last night. Edge wants revenge so here are Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the beatdown, with Edge talking about how they beat up DX last week. Cue DX, with Edge leaving Cade and Murdoch to get beaten down. Coach, six man tag.

Post break, Coach has secured a room where wrestlers can send Vince McMahon well wishes after last night. Shelton Benjamin is up first and he isn’t sure why he wasn’t Vince’s partner last night. Shelton: “It’s because I’m black isn’t it?” Coach shuffles him off as Shelton asks why he can’t talk about Affirmative Action.

Umaga vs. Kane

Rematch from last night. Lawler: “I’m surprised they’re not still fighting. Well they’re going to be still fighting!” Umaga wastes no time in suplexing him down but the referee intercepts a chair from Armando Alejandro Estrada. The referee gets crushed so Umaga uses the chair for two on Kane as a second referee comes in. We take a break and come back with Umaga hitting a Samoa drop but Kane hits a flying shoulder. Umaga’s throat is snapped across the top rope but he knocks a chair out of Kane’s hands this time. Kane avoids a charge though and hits a top rope clothesline. That’s not enough so Kane chairs him in the head for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was better than last night as Kane put up a much better fight rather than getting beaten up for most of the match. They’re likely setting up some kind of a gimmick match down the line, but I’d assume it is going to be on a big Raw rather than the next pay per view. I’m not sure I can imagine this feud having the legs to go two more months but they have surprised me before.

Post match Kane hits him two more times to finally put Umaga down. Kane kidnaps Estrada and takes him to the back.

Post break, Kane is ready to do something with a large spike but Umaga makes the save. Umaga and Estrada leave, allowing Kane to do what he does when villains leave him alone.

Maria things Vince is Jim McMahon, former Chicago Bears quarterback. Cue the Spirit Squad with the air horn to challenge Ric Flair to a match and cheer for Vince.

Ric Flair vs. Johnny

The rest of the Squad stays on the stage for a change. Johnny hammers away in the corner to start but gets chopped against the ropes for his efforts. They go outside with Johnny managing a backdrop and hammering away back inside. That means more chops and a chop block to Flair for a change, setting up the Figure Four. Naturally Flair knows how to get out of that in a hurry and hits his own chop block. Flair tries the Figure Four but gets reversed into a small package, which is reversed into another small package to give Flair the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t meant to be anything but they might be setting up something bigger in the future. Flair beating one of the members of the Spirit Squad isn’t going to hurt them so this isn’t exactly worth being annoyed over. At least they got in and out in a hurry, because there wasn’t much of a need to do anything more than this.

Lita wants to talk to Vince about the Women’s Title but here’s Mickie James to come in and makes jokes about Lita’s prowess with men. A slap ensues and odds are we’ll revisit this later.

We recap the brawl to set up the main event.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. Orton says that last night was rough, because he needed stitches in his mouth but still won his match. He is the future of WWE….but here are Johnny Nitro and Melina to interrupt. Nitro calls himself the future of the industry and he has a message for everyone who finds him boring, and he holds up the title. It’s not like Orton has a title of his own, and that’s because Orton has been coasting on his title for years. Orton says he can take the title and Melina anytime he wants.

Cue Chris Masters to say he should be the Intercontinental Champion because no one breaks the Masterlock. Nitro and Orton break up laughing because Masters has lost two weeks in a row to “a guy who should be busing tables.” Cue Carlito to say Orton did win last night and the brawl is on. Super Crazy and then Jeff Hardy run in to join the brawl so Coach makes a Six Pack Challenge for the title. Nitro panics.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy vs. Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Nitro is defending and it’s one fall to a finish with no tags. Joined in progress with everyone brawling in the corners and a few near falls without much drama. Crazy breaks up Nitro’s cover on Hardy and the rapid fire saves begin. Carlito hits a springboard moonsault to Masters for two with Nitro making a save.

Nitro gets knocked down and we hit probably the fifteenth cover in about three minutes with several saves being made. Everyone but Crazy goes to the floor but Nitro pulls him outside and tries a big dive, only to get caught. Crazy hits his own big moonsault to the floor and we take a break.

Back with everyone brawling some more and even more near falls. Carlito hammers on Nitro in the corner but hits a spinning crossbody for two on Orton. There’s a Downward Spiral to give Carlito two on Nitro but Jeff starts to clean house. Orton, Hardy and Nitro are left alone in the ring and we hit the parade of finishers. Hardy shoves Crazy off the top and nails the Swanton on Masters but Nitro steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how to rate this as there wasn’t much of a flow to it as the whole thing was built around one near fall after another. There were probably two dozen covers that were shown, not even including the stuff that probably took place during the break. It did do a nice job of building up the drama though and that’s a nice way to make Nitro look like a bigger deal, even if he just stole the pin to retain.

Smackdown Rebound.

Cryme Tyme steals a guy’s van after he dares to ask them for directions to the country club.

Coach is ready for some more messages to Vince but DX comes in. They talk about having Stockholm Syndrome but they’re glad it’s over. We get a video on the feud, focusing on Vince being humiliated. DX is sprayed on the camera to wrap things up.

Candice Michelle vs. Lita

Lita sends her into the corner to start as the fans REALLY don’t like Lita so far. Candice comes back with some bad right hands and Lita is knocked outside. That earns Candice a trip to the floor and a ram into the apron, meaning Lita can smile a lot as they head inside again. The chinlock goes on and Lita cuts off the comeback by pulling her down by the hair. There’s a Russian legsweep for two and Lita shoves her in the face a few times. The moonsault is loaded up but here’s Mickie James for a distraction, allowing Candice to hit a powerbomb out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here but I think you know where they’re going for the next big (work with me here) women’s feud. The women’s division is already feeling the lack of Trish Stratus, as you can only do so much with a division that only has about three members and then one of them leaves. Candice is a long way off from being ready to take a top spot, but she seems a bit further along than a few others.

Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch remind Edge that they are fresh after last night and are ready for the main event. Edge likes that kind of thinking.

Edge/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. John Cena/D-Generation X

Lita is here too. The brawl is on in a hurry with the bad guys being cleared out without much effort. We settle down to Cena shouldering Cade down and mocking Edge on the apron. Shawn comes in but gets caught with an atomic drop from Cade and a running big boot from Murdoch to take over.

The chops don’t do Shawn much good as Murdoch runs him over for another near fall. Edge comes in to grab the chinlock and Murdoch adds a big elbow for two. The front facelock doesn’t last long and the hot tag brings in HHH to clean house. Everything breaks down and HHH cuts off Edge’s chair shot with a spinebuster. Shawn picks up the chair and cleans house for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Totally run of the mill main event six man tag with a bit of a surprise ending. The wrestling was fine and the ending gives us a reason to come back to more of this later on. I’m not sure where that leads, but a mini feud of some sort between these guys could give us a nice bridge towards the October pay per view.

Post match Cade and Murdoch are cleared out so Edge gets beaten up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was just a placeholder show after the pretty big pay per view. There was no reason to do anything more than an easy night here as Raw has spent the last month or so setting everything up for Unforgiven so this worked as well as anything else. Nothing you needed to see, but at least it worked out well enough.

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Unforgiven 2006
Date: September 17, 2006
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,105
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can’t believe it but I’m actually looking forward to this show as it has a stacked card. We have a double main event of John Cena challenging Edge for the WWE Title in a TLC match, plus DX vs. the McMahons/Big Show inside the Cell. Throw in Trish Stratus’ retirement match and you have a heck of a show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the double main event while talking about how the thirst for revenge can be unquenchable. Makes perfect sense.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro is defending and has Melina in his corner. Feeling out process to start and we pause for a NITRO SUCKS chant. Neither can get a hiptoss so Hardy armdrags him into an armbar for a change. That works so well that Hardy does it again but this time Nitro is up with a forearm into the corner. Cue Melina screaming, which is likely to be a theme throughout the match. Jeff takes him down for the legdrop between the legs to send Nitro outside, followed by right hands in the corner back inside.

There’s the slingshot dropkick but it’s way too early to try the Swanton. Instead Hardy baseball slides him to the floor but Nitro catches him with a dropkick on the way back inside. Nitro starts working on the knee by driving it into the mat and hitting a hard kick (cue the scream). Some cranking on the knee ensues with a modified Indian Deathlock, followed by a chop block. As commentary tries to figure out where Pat Patterson is at the moment, Morrison misses a corkscrew moonsault, allowing Hardy to grab a rollup for two.

JR has to cut Lawler off from talking about Melina’s moist looking skin as Hardy knocks Nitro off the top. The Swanton bangs up the knee though and it’s a pretty delayed two. Nitro starts cranking on the leg again but Melina gets on the apron for no apparent reason. That means a big crash as Hardy kicks Nitro into her, meaning a rollup gets a near fall. Melina pops up with her boot off and knocks Hardy silly so Nitro can retain.

Rating: B-. This got some extended time and it was a good choice for an opener. They did their thing until the ending, which was a bit off but served as a fine way to keep the title on Nitro. There is nothing wrong with sending two young(ish) guys out there and having them put on a good match to start things off and that is exactly what they did here.

Teddy Long is here in case John Cena loses and has to go to Smackdown.

Matt Hardy comes up to Jeff Hardy in the back and tells him good job. Lita comes in for the Team Xtreme reunion but mocks both of them for not being champions.

Umaga vs. Kane

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga and hypes up Umaga before the match. Kane slugs away to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry with Umaga getting the better of things. Back in and the running headbutt keeps Kane in trouble, followed by the running Umaga Attack in the corner to make it worse.

Kane comes back with his own right hands but charges into the Samoan drop to cut that off. It’s time for the middle rope thumb to the throat but Kane sits up to avoid it, giving us a great shocked look from Estrada. Some headbutts rock Umaga and Kane suplexes him out to the floor. There’s a clothesline over the barricade and they brawl into the crowd for the double countout to continue the feud.

Rating: C-. There’s nothing wrong with a power brawl and Umaga kept looking good, though the ending didn’t exactly make me want to see them keep fighting. Umaga dominated most of the match and while what we got was acceptable enough, there was only so much that you could get out of a seven minute match which ended in a bridge to the next match.

Post match they fight onto the stage and then…..into the back, drawing a rather negative reaction from the fans.

Vince and Shane McMahon fire each other up and insult Canada.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

Kenny and Mikey are defending for the Squad. Rory sunset flips Mikey for an early two and it’s already time to slow down a bit. Mikey’s head is sent into Robbie’s in the corner and the Highlanders start taking turns on his arm. Kenny comes in and gets backdropped in a hurry so the Highlanders can take over on him as well. Some slingshot knees connect in the corner and Rory does exactly the same for two.

That’s enough for Kenny to bring Mikey back in so Rory ax handles him in the chest. A dropkick puts Mikey on the floor but Robbie’s dive completely misses. Back in and a running clothesline takes Robbie down as the champs take over. Kenny grabs the chinlock before handing it off to Mikey for the front facelock.

Something like Poetry In Motion misses but Kenny is smart enough to knock Rory off the apron to break up the hot tag. That means another chinlock but the guillotine legdrop only hits mat. The hot tag brings in Rory to clean house and Kenny is tossed over the top onto some more of the Squad. Everything breaks down and Johnny gets in the Johnny Go Round from behind to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. This could have been on almost any given edition of Raw and that’s all it was supposed to be. It’s not like the Highlanders, or any team at the moment, means much at the moment so it makes sense to have such an average match. Raw’s tag division has never been the strongest, but Smackdown is absolutely smashing it by comparison at the moment.

We get the long recap of D-Generation X vs. the McMahons/Big Show inside the Cell. Vince McMahon wouldn’t shut up about Montreal so he got in a war with Shawn, who eventually got HHH to join him against Vince and his cronies. Shane McMahon got involved as well so DX beat the two of them without much effort, meaning it was time to up the stakes. Vince hired Big Show and a few other goons, so it’s time to put them in the Cell.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Big Show

Inside the Cell. DX gets smart by kicking Show low before the bell and the fight is on in a hurry. Shawn sends Shane out to the floor and there’s another double low blow to keep Show down. Shane gets catapulted face first into the Cell so Shawn unloads on him as HHH hammers Vince in the face. We have our first blood as Shane’s bloody forehead is sent into the Cell again.

Vince is loaded up for the top rope elbow but Show is up to take care of DX in a hurry. HHH manages to send Show into the steps and drops a knee on Vince’s head but Shane is back to clothesline Shawn outside. Vince is busted as well as Show chokeslams HHH and then sends Shawn face first into the Cell on the floor. Shawn gets lawn darted into the Cell to make it worse, leaving HHH to get hit with Shane’s Coast To Coast.

HHH’s earn injury from Raw is busted open again, leaving Show as the only one not bleeding. HHH gets catapulted into the Cell so Show hits the cobra clutch backbreaker on Shawn. Vince covers but picks him up ta two, allowing HHH to come back in and clean house. Shane is back up with a torture rack neckbreaker (where did he learn that) to HHH. It’s Shawn back up with an enziguri to knock Shane to the floor….but Vince is taking his pants down.

That’s broken up by HHH but Show takes over again. Show’s splash hits Vince by mistake though and there’s a low blow to cut the big man down again. Some chairs are brought in with HHH wrapping one around Shane’s neck for a top rope elbow from Shawn. Show makes another save and brings in the steps but HHH gets in a chair shot. That sends Show into the steps and a superkick puts him over the top rope. As in draped over the top rope, so DX pulls his shorts down. Vince goes face first into it, setting up Sweet Chin Music and a sledgehammer broken over the back finally finishes Vince off.

Rating: B+. I was surprised at the lack of any interference, leaving this as two people having to fight off three and looking like they came through a war in the process. This felt like what they billed it up as and that’s a great thing to see. I had a good time with the match and it should finish up the DX vs. McMahons war because there is nothing left for the two sides to do to each other. Heck of a fight here and even the Vince face shot made sense in the context.

The McMahons are taken out on stretchers.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita for Lita’s Women’s Title, but it is also Trish’s retirement match. Therefore, we get a nice video package on her career (at least once she became a wrestler), during which she really did become one of the most important female wrestlers ever. Lita found out about the retirement though and leaked the news to WWE.com, sending Trish over the edge. Now it’s one last fight against her biggest rival. For the title. In her hometown.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is challenging and gets a heck of a hometown pop. We get a THANK YOU TRISH chant to start and there’s the spinning headscissors to put Lita on the floor. The Thesz press of the apron hits Lita and there’s an anklescissors off the steps. Back in and Lita starts choking a bit and hits the chinlock to keep Trish down. That works for all of five seconds so Lita uses the evil by pulling her down by the hair.

Trish comes back with a few kicks to the ribs but charges into an elbow in the corner. Lita goes up so Trish follows her for a slugout, only to have both of them fall out to the floor in a crash. Back in and Lita misses the moonsault to give Trish two but Stratusfaction is countered with a shove over the top and outside again. Back in and Lita snaps off a suplex for two, setting up some more kneedrops.

A few right hands have Lita staggered though and dang the fans are into every single thing Trish does here. Lita kicks her down again though and we hit another chinlock but this time Trish fights up for the slugout. This time the Stratusphere pulls Lita off the top and the Chick Kick gets two. The Stratusfaction is blocked…so Trish switches into a Sharpshooter for the submission and the title.

Rating: C. The wrestling was absolutely not the point here and that’s fine. This was all about letting Trish have one more moment on her way out (because, again, the “time honored tradition” is nonsense) and that’s what she had here. Trish was a huge star in WWE and it was great to see her get a well deserved sendoff. Lita isn’t going to be hurt by the loss and the fans REALLY liked what they got here. Not a good match or anything, but a great moment.

Randy Orton says that was nice but no one cares about Trish’s retirement. Now watch what made him the youngest World Champion ever, right here in this building.

Carlito vs. Randy Orton

They fight over a lockup to start and Carlito spits in his face, setting up some left hands to the floor. Back in and they strike it out with Carlito knocking him down and hitting a Lionsault for two. Orton manages to snap him throat first across the top though and a dropkick puts Carlito on the floor.

They come back in with Orton hitting the always devastating Garvin Stomp, setting up the always present chinlock. Carlito fights up and hits a quick springboard elbow but walks into the backbreaker. Orton tries a suplex but Carlito flips out and grabs the Backstabber. For some reason Carlito loads up a springboard but dives right into the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another Raw level match here and there was little reason for Carlito to try that springboard other than to set up the ending. Carlito’s face turn has had lukewarm results at best so far, even after pairing him with Trish. Orton has been kind of floating around for a bit as well and I’m not sure what he is supposed to do next. This felt like a filler match and that’s not a good sign.

We recap John Cena vs. Edge in a TLC match. Cena has been chasing Edge’s Raw World Title but only has one last chance. Therefore it’s Cena’s Raw career vs. Edge’s title in Edge’s match’s hometown. Sounds like a pay per view main event worthy of a music video to me, which is why the main event gets the music video treatment here.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Tables, Ladders And Chairs, with Edge defending. Edge gets a rather nice reception but Cena is booed out of the building, which is about all you could expect. Cena grabs a headlock to start and is loudly booed again. Some shoulders put Edge down for the same reaction so he slaps Cena in the face. They start slugging it out and head to the floor with Edge’s chair shot hitting the post.

Back in and Edge hits a DDT to cut off Cena’s offense to put him onto the ropes. A few ladder shots to the head have Cena in more trouble but he avoids a charging ladder shot in the corner. Edge gets thrown into the ladder in the corner and it’s time for a table. You don’t try to suplex Edge through a table though as he powerbombs Cena through it instead. With Cena down on the floor, Edge runs up the ladder in the corner to hit a dive to take him out.

Back in and Edge can’t hit the Conchairto, instead sending Edge’s head into a chair. Then Edge gets crushed inside the ladder, setting up the STFU inside the ladder (that’s a versatile ladder). Cena then mixes things up a bit by FU’ing the ladder onto Edge and climbing up (that’s a REALLY versatile ladder) for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Another table is loaded up but Edge caves his head in with a chair and puts Cena on the table. Then he puts a table on top of Cena on top of that table.

That takes some time though and Cena shoves Edge off the top for the next crash. Back in and Cena climbs the ladder, only to have Edge climb another ladder and spear him down. Edge climbs this time, but Cena powerbombs him into the side of a standing ladder for a nasty crash. They’re back on the floor, where a hard chair shot to the head puts Edge down again. Back in again and Cena climbs the ladder, only to have Lita come in and shove it down and through a well placed table at ringside.

Edge goes up but Cena comes back in, earning himself a chair shot from Lita….which knocks Cena into the ladder to knock Edge down again. That earns Lita an FU, allowing Cena to climb again with Edge down on the floor. Edge runs back up to go after the title but Cena FU’s him through the double tables. With Edge mostly destroyed, Cena pulls down the swinging title for the win.

Rating: A-. This felt like the big blowoff to a pretty special feud as Cena beats Edge at his own game on the perfect stage. It was a violent and hard hitting match, which is all you could ask for in something like this. Cena overcame the odds and won the title back in grand fashion, with the big spot at the end being the memorable moment to make it feel all the more special.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a two match show but those two matches were awesome and that’s enough to rate this one pretty high. The opener works rather well too and there is nothing bad on the whole card. Some of the stuff was pretty clearly filler, but when almost a third of the show is made up from the two awesome main events, it makes for one of the better single brand pay per views in recent memory.

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