Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XX (Original): They Do Anniversaries Right

Wrestlemania 20
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
Star Spangled Banner: Harlem Boys Choir

This just feels right. Wrestlemania is supposed to be at MSG. This show is considered to be the show where the new generation took control as Cena debuted, Eddie was defending a title, and Benoit challenged for a title. Sadly, two of them are gone now so those plans have been completely derailed.

This show is the first of the modern HOF induction shows as well as having the first smaller arena show in four years. I’m split on that actually. The smaller shows are better in the sense that it’s more personalized and there simply isn’t a place better than MSG, but the stadiums show off the spectacle more. Really depends on what you like. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful and we go into the opening video. This is definitely the biggest show of all time with major matches and us at Madison Square Garden. The main event is Benoit vs. Shawn vs. HHH which has the problem of Shawn. There is zero point to having him in there but he’s there so that HHH doesn’t have to job to Benoit clean. Whatever I guess.

To end the video we see Vince, Shane and Vince’s grandson, which I believe is the first time Vince’s grandchildren have appeared on WWE programming.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is the rapper at this point and hasn’t really gotten established at all at this point. He had been around a little under two years at this point and had turned mega face. You could see that he had what it took back then but he was being paced along very well. Show is champion coming into this. He was more or less worthless (yeah a stretch I know) as champion here so the ending wasn’t really in doubt.

John does his represent thing before the match starts. Dang you could see the star just trying to break out in him. He does a quick rap about Show and says Show is a gorilla. Cena’s hand is taped up so maybe he’s hurt or something. This isn’t really funny or anything but it gets the crowd going which is the point. Granted it’s a New York crowd so it’s not like it takes much work overall.

The title literally looks like a toy on Show’s shoulder. This is serious Show who has been motivated/focused lately which means he’ll lose a big match soon. Cena tries to get around the power to start which doesn’t really work at all. He gets sent to the floor and needs to rethink his strategy. Show allegedly retired Hogan in this building. Which retirement was that?

A cross body off the top by Cena of course fails as it always has against Show. Cena gets the powerslam that he deserves for being an idiot like that. He hammers away which gets him nowhere other than clotheslined down with ease. They have the picture of the current match on the opposite side from the cameras which is a cool thing to see.

Show suplexes Cena and he goes flying which makes John look like a toy. I know you hear that a lot but it’s true here. Headbutt puts Cena down and Show stands on his back. Cena hammers away but gets kicked in the face to end that. Show adds that standing legdrop that I think is called the Showstopper depending on who you listen to for two. The fans chant for Cena.

Cena tries a sleeper which is broken up rather quickly. This has more or less been all Show. Cobra Clutch by Show and Cena is in trouble. Naturally he just lets it go to put it right back on. Cena fights back with right hands and takes the knee out to send Show’s face into the buckle. FU gets two and Cena isn’t sure what to do now. Cena grabs the chain he brought with him but throws it down to distract the referee. The knuckles he carried with him also winds up going upside Show’s head and Cena has his first title.

Rating: C-. Basic big man vs. little man match here but at the same time, not much going on with it at all. Show dominated and Cena hit like three moves to take over and win the thing. That being said, the fans were into Cena which is the whole point. Not bad but kind of generic overall.

Coach is in the back and runs into some random people that aren’t important before saying hi to Teddy Long. He goes into Bischoff’s office to find he and Johnny Spade. Spade had just gotten a name change from Johnny Blaze. A few weeks later he was Johnny Nitro, and a few years later he was John Morrison. Didn’t realize he’d been there that long. Coach is told to go find the Undertaker, who was redebuting for the 58th time tonight.

Evolution minus HHH is in the back and Orton says he’s going to become a hardcore legend. As a former OVW Hardcore Champion, he’s well on his way. He never did that, but he got close a month later at Backlash. If you haven’t seen that match, go do so immediately. Well worth the 15 minutes it takes up. Anyway we see a clip of Orton hurting Foley back in June as this was almost a year long storyline. Oh and he’s IC Champion. The idea is that Foley is scared of Orton but has a backbone now. Oh and Rock is with him for a handicap match. That always helps.

Raw Tag Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Wow. You can see the division dying as we speak. The Dudleyz would more or less be gone in four months, save for the One Night Stand main event. We then have the one decent tag team on the brand at the time, and then two generic guys packaged as a “team”. RVD and Booker are your odd combination tag team. This is one fall to a finish. The remix of RVD and Booker’s songs was really quite bad.

Dupree vs. Van Dam to start us off here. Booker comes in quickly and gets a superkick to Renee for two. Bubba is tagged in. Why would you tag out here if it’s one fall to a finish? The Dudleys are faces for this week. The fans already want tables. At least they’re patient as they waited a full minute before starting that chant here.

Ross thinks Booker is a young man. That’s rather amusing. Bubba tries to do the suck on this deal and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. This is more or less RVD/Booker vs. the Dudleys with two other teams in the background. Jindrak gets two on Booker. It’s Garrison Cade at this point too. Who thought that would be a good name? I mean dude, Garrison Cade? Really?

Dupree comes in and La Resistance takes over for a bit. It’s Dupree/Conway in this form of La Resistance as that team changed every few months. No real reason given for why these teams are in here but does it really matter? The fans chant for USA while Conway, the American, is in there. Conway gets an elbow for two, which JR says was opportunistic. How? Isn’t that like doing his job?

Conway uses a bow and arrow hold for awhile to kill some time. Spinebuster gets Booker out of trouble. Wow Van Dam was in a good amount of worthless tag teams. RVD comes in and cleans house. The Five Star is blocked as D-Von shoves him off the top. Everything breaks down and it’s Booker (illegal) vs. D-Von (also illegal). 3D is broken up by Cade and then an axe kick sets up the Five Star on Conway for the champions to retain.

Rating: D. Totally boring match here that should have been on Raw. The division if you want to call it that was completely dead by this point and nothing was going to save it. The titles needed to be unified back then but wouldn’t be until 2010. Weak match that had no need to be on Mania in the slightest.

In the basement, the Coach hears noises coming from behind a door and opens it to find Gene Okerlund trying to get dressed. He tries to explain why he’s there and Bobby Heenan stumbles out half dressed as well. Coach says it’s not what you think. There was a poker game according to Heenan. Moolah and Mae pop out and drag the guys back in where frightening sounds are heard. One of my all time favorite segments.

We recap Christian vs. Jericho which was a great storyline. This started with Jericho and Christian betting a Canadian Dollar that Jericho could sleep with Trish before Christian could sleep with Lita. Trish found out about the bet and got all ticked off. Jericho fell for Trish and Christian tried to get his head back on straight. This led to Christian vs. Trish with Christian hurting Trish. Tonight is the grudge match. This was a great buildup and the video has me wanting to see the match years later. That’s a really good sign.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

 

I guess Lita was just dropped from this after awhile for reasons unknown. They lock up for a bit and then Jericho is like screw it and takes Christian down with right hands. Clothesline takes him down again. Christian sends him to the apron but gets backdropped to the floor. All Jericho in the opening few minutes and we get a big Y2J chant.

Jericho hits that springboard cross body to the floor and then sends Christian into the barricade. Back in and Christian’s sunset flip attempt is countered into the Walls. They’re not applied though and Christian is able to get a thumb to the eye and then dump Jericho to the floor. Christian chokes away and talks trash to Jericho at the same time. He’s multi-tasking I guess.

Knee to the ribs by Christian as the fans are surprisingly quiet here. They don’t seem bored though and are instantly back into it when Christian hits a chinlock. I guess they’re interested here. Christian pulls some of Jericho’s hair out which gets him two. Ah the old hair attack. Haven’t seen that in years. Back to the chinlock but Jericho tries for the Walls again and again they don’t work.

Christian chokes away but Jericho fights back. Off to a neck crank for a second but Jericho is taken down by the hair as he tries to escape. Hey here’s another chinlock. Walls are attempted again and again fails. Spinwheel kick gets two on Jericho. Jericho gets a forearm and a knee to the back as he’s starting a comeback. Running enziguri gets two.

Rollup by both guys gets two and Christian’s had a handful of ropes. Northern Lights Suplex by Jericho gets two. Lionsault attempt winds up eating knees but the Unprettier can’t hit either. Reverse tornado DDT out of the corner gets two for Christian. They’re moving a lot more out there now. Backbreaker by Christian and he goes up. Jericho is slammed off and Christian hits a cross body which is rolled through for two by Jericho.

Christian throws on a Texas Cloverleaf and Jericho is in trouble. This is the first time they’ve had a bit of a break in a good while. Jericho breaks that and tries the Walls for the fourth time which doesn’t work either. He finally gets them on the fifth try but on the floor. As Christian tries to get back in he gets caught in a double underhook suplex off the top for two.

And here comes Trish. I’m pretty sure you know how this is going to end but she looks great in a tied off shirt so I can’t complain. Edgecution by Christian gets a long two. Christian drags Trish in and shoves her down. Trish “accidentally” nails Jericho and Christian gets a rollup and the win with it.

Rating: B. Decent match but it could have been a lot more. This was a match where the buildup was better than the match. The feud would continue for a good while though and it continued to be rather solid. Fun stuff here and pure popcorn soap opera stuff which is usually a good combination.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho, turning heel and leaves with Christian. The crowd is TICKED. Trish and Christian kiss to a big reaction as they leave.

Now we get to one of the more entertaining part of the show. Foley is talking about being nervous about having his first match in four years but Rock pops up and cuts him off. He talks about how there’s no reason to be nervous because everyone knows what’s coming. Hurricane and Rosey know it. Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka know it.

But most importantly the people know it. Make sure you get a shot of the people. Rock says let’s go take care of Evolution, if you smell what the Rock (Foley: and Sock) IS COOKING! Funny promo.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Now this has an interesting backstory to it. Back in December, Orton was on his Legend Killer gimmick and called out Foley. Foley got ready to fight him but at the last minute bailed out, allowing Orton to spit on him and walk out of the arena, branding him as a coward. At the Royal Rumble, Orton had made a long run but Foley entered at #21 and beat the crap out of Orton.

The problem with this was that when you go after Orton, you get all of Evolution. Except HHH who had more important things to do than fight two first ballot Hall of Famers. This made it 3-1, so Foley needed help. Rock returns to help his friend, and we get this as the end result. If you ever want to see the match that almost single handedly got Batista and Orton over, this is it. It was them being in there with the big boys and we could see what they can do.

I love the old school vs. new school dynamic here. The Rock N Sock Connection hit the ring and the fight is on. Rock vs. Batista is really weird to see. How weird is it that Rock retired younger than Foley? Rock vs. Flair is something that is just awesome to look at and it officially starts us off here. Rock does Flair’s strut and they lock up.

Out to the floor and Flair slips a thumb into the eye. That gets him nowhere as he gets slammed on the floor and Foley adds an elbow off the apron. Off to Orton now and Foley wants in. Orton bails but Foley somehow catches him and the beating is on. Back in with Foley in control. Rock comes in and punches Orton in the balls and then Flair smacks him in the back of the head.

Rock fights off Evolution but gets caught by Batista on the floor with the power game. Off to Orton vs. Rock in the ring now with Orton hammering away. Make that Batista. He’s not as big as he would get but still gets two off an elbow drop. Flair comes in now and throws chops in the corner. He tries to strut and gets his head taken off by a running clothesline. Well why mess with the basics?

Like an idiot, Flair goes up and gets slammed down. Why is anyone surprised at that? Off to Batista who hammers away. The crowd being all attentive is weird. Rock gets a clothesline to Batista and it’s off to Foley now. Double arm DDT is blocked and it’s a slug out. Running knee in the corner is stopped by a clothesline though. That’s a popular move in this match isn’t it?

On the floor Foley grabs the Claw on Orton out of nowhere. This is a good match so it’s hard to make jokes here. For the 1000th time in his career Foley’s knees slam into the steps with a LOUD bang. Orton in now who hammers away even more. Make that Flair who chops Foley down and then they slug it out. Foley takes him down but Orton comes in for a chinlock/face pull to stop Foley.

Batista comes in as Evolution keeps up that fast tagging. He starts the ground and pound on Foley but Mick slips a hand up and grabs the Claw to break it up. Orton comes in for the save and they keep tagging in and out very quickly. Swinging neckbreaker to Batista buys Foley some time and a double clothesline buys him even more time.

Flair comes in to break up the tag but a shot to the head is enough to bring in Rock who cleans house. DDTs and right hands all around but a Batista spinebuster takes him down. And now Flair wants to do the People’s Elbow. Rock nips up while Flair struts and drills him. There’s a spinebuster for Flair and it’s the REAL People’s Elbow, complete with Rock’s 8th strut of the match.

RKO doesn’t work but the Rock Bottom does. Flair makes a last second save and then SPRINTS around the ring to grab a chair. Batista Bomb to Rock which gets two for Orton. Rock manages to bring in Foley and he finally gets his hands on Orton. Foley loads up Socko but takes too long and Orton grabs a quick RKO for the pin. Foley sits up afterwards which I like as it makes it look like Foley got stunned but not knocked out. And that my friends, is how you put people over.

Rating: A. This wasn’t so much a great match but rather a work of art out there. They knew what they were doing and the two old masters made stars out of young guys. This is what you’re supposed to do out there as the old guys look great as well and like I said, it was a quick win rather than a dominating one. The key thing there though was that it was a win. Great stuff and worth seeing for what it means to put someone over.

Rock and Foley get a standing ovation as they deserve.

This year’s HOF class is honored. No big name here except Jesse Ventura. Next year it really picks up though. Heenan breaking up over wishing Monsoon was there with him is a very touching moment. Harley Race and Tito Santana go in too. teases running for President in 2008.

They bring them out into the arena to have Mean Gene do the presentations to the crowd. The full list is Bobby Heenan (can barely talk due to throat cancer. The fans chant weasel and Heenan’s reaction is of course hilarious), Tito Santana (one of the most underrated guys ever despite being considered great), Big John Studd (dead, his son is here), Harley Race (one of the best heels ever), Pete Rose (deserves to be in due to what he did at Mania. He was said to be incredibly gracious about being in so I can live with this).

Back to the wrestlers with Don Muraco (took the Snuka Splash that apparently every wrestler ever was inspired by), Great Valentine (gets one of the biggest pops surprisingly enough. Looks JUST like he did in the ring and still does to this day as far as I know), Junkyard Dog (Also dead, his daughter is here for him. It was her high school graduation that he died on the way home from), Billy Graham (perhaps the most influential heel of all time), Sgt. Slaughter (go watch the Alley Fight with Pat Patterson. Incredible fight), and Jesse Ventura (do I need to explain this one?

What’s the best way to follow that up? With this of course:

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Instead of the traditional rules, this is pinfall. Blast it. This is happening because Torrie/Sable are in Playboy. Sable was doing a weird lesbian kind of thing at the time with Torrie, which is odd because Torrie had just come off a lesbian angle with Dawn, which ended apparently in her sleeping with Dawn.

Sable requests they all start in their underwear. Taz and Cole are cracking up over a joke Taz makes. It actually was funny and tells me these guys are funny in real life. I’m trying not to pay attention here as this is depressing. Torrie and Sable win.

Rating: F. I hate these things. They’re a total waste of time, we’ve seen the girls like this before, and it’s nothing special at all. Total waste of about 9 minutes.

We get some clips from Axxess.

Eddie comes in to talk to Benoit who is very nervous to say the least. He says that win or lose, he’ll be proud of Chris. Benoit says he won’t lose. Eddie says no one really expects Benoit to win, more or less sealing his title win. Benoit says he’s proud of Eddie for winning the WWE Title and Eddie starts laughing. He wants Benoit to get fired up and Benoit is. Tonight they both walk out world champions.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a ten man gauntlet match. Think Tag Team Turmoil with the champion, Chavo Jr., going tenth. Everyone stands at ringside so I’ll just list them off as they go in. Rey comes out last and is the Flash this year. Ultimo Dragon vs. Shannon Moore to start and they’re moving out there, getting three two counts in maybe 40 seconds. Back suplex by Shannon gets two. Whisper in the Wind by Moore misses and Dragon hits the Asai DDT (sets for a Stunner but backflips over Shannon to slam the back of his head into the mat. Looks great) for the pin. I hope this isn’t a pattern.

Jamie Noble is in third and he jumps Dragon to take an early advantage. Dragon unleashes the kicks but misses a moonsault. A neckbreaker by Noble sets up a guillotine choke by Noble to get rid of Dragon.

Funaki comes in and is rolled up and pinned in 4 seconds. I hate these kind of matches for stupid stuff like these last two eliminations. This would never happen in a regular match and makes Funaki and Dragon look like blundering morons.

Nunzio comes in next and begs off instead of charging, which I think is logical here. They trade some holds and Nunzio gets a victory roll for two. Big kick gets two for Nunzio. He tries an O’Connor Roll but Noble ducks to send him to the floor. Noble dives on him with a front flip to put both guys down and Nunzio is counted out.

Billy Kidman is in now and Nunzio trips Noble. Kidman climbs the ropes and throws a Shooting Star Press but underrotates and lands ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! That gets two in the ring and Noble grabs that guillotine again. It’s easily reversed and Kidman adds a running enziguri. He tries the Shooting Star again but Noble runs up to block it. Short powerbomb off the middle ropes gets rid of Noble though as that might have been the longest fall at just under two minutes.

Rey comes in and gets half killed by a dropkick. He gets whipped in and baseball slides between Kidman’s legs while on his back. Kind of awesome. Kidman takes over after some interference from Tajiri’s friend Akio for no apparent reason. They go to the corner and Mysterio gets a sunset bomb to end Kidman.

Tajiri in next and he grabs the Tarantula very quickly. Handspring elbow is blocked by a dropkick and there’s the 619. Akio interferes again and winds up taking the mist to the face. Rey grabs a rollup to end Tajiri.

Akio can’t fight because of the mist. Whatever.

Tajiri kicks Rey in the head and it’s down to Chavo and Mysterio. Rey avoids a charge and gets a rana to take over. Down goes Chavo Senior via a baseball slide. The referee won’t let Rey dive on him though. Dang it give us our injured senior citizens! Ok he’s in his mid 50s here but he looks about 80. Rey is like screw it and dives over the referee to crush Chavo Senior. He tries a sunset flip but Chavo grabs the hand of his son to get the pin to retain. So Chavo pinned Rey in about 1:50? Got it.

Rating: D+. That’s overall. The problem here is simple: they went through it WAY too fast and it was impossible to get into any of the matches. These things need like 30 minutes to work which is why you never see them. This would have been WAY better as a fatal fourway but since both tag titles are in that format we had this. Not a fan of these at all because they make the guys in them look far too beatable.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock. Goldberg was #30 in the Rumble and was being interviewed prior to the match. Lesnar got annoyed that he wasn’t being interviewed since he was WWE Champion at the time. He came in and beat up Goldberg in the Rumble so that Angle could eliminate him after Goldberg was dominating. Austin gave Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out and said don’t do anything he wouldn’t do. Goldberg speared Brock and Eddie won the title because of it (great match if you’ve never seen it).

Austin was named guest referee and then Lesnar popped up and gave Austin an F5. This basically turned into Austin vs. Lesnar instead with Goldberg being on the side. Lesnar stole Austin’s four wheeler and ticking Austin off. Austin beat Lesnar up and took it back, which totally took the spotlight off of Goldberg to eventually set up Brock vs. Austin.

However, this was Lesnar’s last WWE match s he went to the NFL and then the UFC, which made Austin more or less pointless here. Oh and it’s Goldberg’s last match too. Think they’re going to give it that old college try and work as hard as they can? If so, you’re not that smart.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Let the chanting begin! The shorts on Goldberg never looked right. They stand around for about 20 seconds and we get to the far more interesting part of this match: the crowd. Almost immediately we get a YOU SOLD OUT chant directed at Lesnar. It’s one of the loudest you’ll ever hear outside of Philly and it shakes the guys up it seems. The announcers actually acknowledge it which is saying a lot.

Make that a minute of standing around. There’s the Goodbye Song as they’ve literally stood there staring at each other for a minute and a half. Ross tells us Lesnar is gone and they shout F Bombs at each other. Two minutes with zero contact at all. Now the fans chant for Austin, likely wanting him to Stun them both and just end it at that. Two and a half minutes now. This is all considered part of the match mind you.

At 2:45 they lock up. Amusingly enough Goldberg is called a mixed martial arts aficionado. They go down to their knees in a lockup. That eats up literally 45 seconds and it’s back to staring at each other. We’re four minutes into a thirteen and a half minute match and the total amount of contact is 45 seconds, literally all of which is on a lockup. Think about paying a ticket to see this, one of the feature matches, and getting this. They deserve the crowd reaction they’re getting.

They lock up again and that eats up almost 30 more seconds. The crowd chants THIS MATCH SUCKS and they’re right. The first offensive move of the match comes five minutes in (and yes I’m counting via a counter on the video) with a headlock by Lesnar that goes nowhere. They exchange shoulder blocks and then knock each other down with them. We’re 6:30 into this now and the move list in its entirety is: tie up, tie up, head lock, Goldberg shoulder block, Lesnar shoulder block, double shoulder block.

FINALLY things pick up a bit as Lesnar kicks away. Goldberg is like screw that and press slams him, bringing him down with a half spear/half spinebuster. The regular spear misses though and Goldberg goes chest first into the post. We hit the floor for some Lesnar dominance. I guess that was all the offense Goldberg had in him. The fans aren’t that impressed and tell Goldberg that he sucks.

Back in now and Lesnar really upgrades his offense with a suplex. Into a headlock with an arm trap. This is terrible. This eats up about a minute until Goldberg flips him to ZERO pop. Oh hey let’s go right back to the hold again because it worked so well the first time. Then they ram into each other again and are both down. The fans aren’t exactly happy.

Ross calls the match pedestrian. No Ross, taking a walk would be way more interesting than this. The fans boo the heck out of it as Goldberg makes his comeback. The crowd is chanting for Hogan. In 2004. Wow. Spinning neckbreaker sets up the spear for two. Yeah back then they wanted to drop the Jackhammer because the company was really stupid. F5 hits out of nowhere for two as well. Lesnar misses the spear and then the spear and Jackhammer ends it to make Goldberg 1-0!

Rating: F. This was a disgrace. I don’t care if you’re leaving or not, you don’t do it that way. No excuse for this whatsoever.

Austin, who did NOTHING in the match, stuns both guys post match to try and keep the fans from storming the ring to kill the guys in the match.

WM 21 is in LA.

Vince comes out and says there’s someone that should be thanked for Mania making it to #20. He then amazes even me, perhaps the most jaded wrestling fan there is and he thanks the fans. This amazed me to no end when I saw it and it still does today. Love him or hate him, this was pure class right here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

More filler here before we get to the real main events. This is one fall to a finish again. The APA was more or less worthless by this point. I didn’t even know they were still together in 04. Bradshaw would be world champion in the summer. Rikishi and Scotty have the titles coming in here. Bradshaw vs. Benjamin to start us off here.

After JBL takes Shelton down for awhile, Doug Basham tags himself in and I just do not care at this point. Absolutely nothing of note is going on here. Haas vs. Scotty at the moment. Crowd simply does not care either and it’s obvious. Bearhug to Scotty but a Basham comes in for the…save? Scotty is the face in peril I guess. He gets an enziguri but kicks Doug into Danny to keep Scotty from making the tag again.

Off to Rikishi who cleans house. I think he was supposed to be the grizzled veteran that could beat up just about anyone in the match. They pushed him like that for awhile and it didn’t work incredibly well. German attempt by Benjamin but the power of fat sends him to the floor. Haas gets a Stinkface for not funny comedy. Bradshaw comes in to clean house but walks into a Samoan Drop and then Rikishi drops down onto Danny to retain.
Rating: D. Pointless filler. These teams were worthless by this point anyway as they were all on the verge of breaking up. Shelton was in the IC title hunt within a year, JBL debuted that Summer, the Bashams were fired soon thereafter and no one ever cared about Rikishi and Scotty anyway. Total waste of time.

Edge is coming back.

Jesse Ventura is with Donald Trump at ringside. This was when the Apprentice was still a hot show so Trump was a celebrity here. I don’t like him but you have to admit, the guy apparently likes wrestling as this was the 4th show he was a part of. Jesse implies he’ll run for President someday, getting a big pop.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

This is belt vs. hair with Victoria as champion. Victoria got hotter every time I saw her. The crowd is already more into this than they were for the entire previous match. Molly works the arm to control but gets rolled up for two. Suplex gets two for Molly. Molly is a virgin and wears big underwear which is the focal point of the match. She uses really basic stuff and it’s rather boring. Sunset Bomb gets two and then Molly tries the Widow’s Peak. That doesn’t work and Victoria gets a backslide to retain.

Rating: D+. Short and pretty dull. The real thing here was the shaved diva which doesn’t really do much as the stipulation was more or less just thrown on. Lack of an interesting match for the most part but at least Victoria looked good in those little white shorts.

Head shaving ensues.

We recap Eddie vs. Angle. The idea in short is Eddie is a former drug addict and Kurt says that means he shouldn’t represent Smackdown. The idea is that Eddie is in over his head and Heyman, the Smackdown GM, is against Eddie too for no apparent reason.

During the video package, Molly is still being shaved.
Smackdown Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

They lock up in the first minute, already far ahead of Lesnar vs. Goldberg as far as pacing goes. We start with some mat stuff where Eddie is talented but in over his head. Angle takes him down with a judo throw and grabs a headlock. Let’s go Angle/Angle Sucks chants begin dueling. Angle runs him over with a shoulder and it’s a standoff.

Eddie gets a set of shoulder blocks and Angle hits the floor to clear his head. Back in and Angle takes it back to the mat which is where he’s definitely in control for the most part. Front facelock goes on to drain some energy out of the champion. Eddie escapes and we go back to the mat again with Eddie controlling a keylock. This is well done stuff as they’re definitely keeping things interesting out there for this.

Knee to the ribs takes Eddie down and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. Eddie reverses and tries Three Amigos but can only get one as Kurt gets a German. Out to the apron and Angle of course can’t get the German to the floor because it would, you know, kill Eddie. Eddie knocks him to the floor and dives out at Angle but misses, hitting the barrier chest first. That gets two back in the ring.

Angle works on the ribs/midsection even more, eventually hot shotting Eddie onto the top rope for two. Belly to belly sends Eddie flying. Another gets two and it’s back to the ribs. Angle shifts it into a bearhug and then into a belly to belly for two. Middle rope belly to belly is blocked as is the running belly to belly. Frog Splash misses and Eddie’s momentum is gone just as fast as it arrived.

Kurt hammers away as Cole calls him a hypocrite for talking about how Eddie is a disgrace. Eddie shrugs it off and wants more shots. He fires back and gets a little momentum going. A charge in the corner misses and Eddie gets a belly to back suplex for two. Eddie still can’t get Three Amigos and it’s Rolling German time. The second is reversed into a rollup for two and then Angle drills Eddie to take him right back down again.

Angle Slam is countered and Eddie speeds things up a bit. Three Amigos are attempted again and again Kurt counters after a second one. Ankle Lock goes on for a bit but not that long. Dropkick puts Kurt down but as Eddie goes for the Frog Splash Angle gets the running belly to belly two. After a rollup gets two Eddie is caught in a German for two.

Another counter to the Angle Slam, this one in the form of a DDT sets up the Frog Splash for two. Has that ever happened before? Angle plays possum and picks the ankle out of nowhere into the ankle lock. Again he manages to send Kurt to the floor and Eddie is unlacing his boot. Angle doesn’t see this and comes right back with the ankle lock. Eddie kicks the hold off and the boot goes off with it. He grabs a small package on the confused Kurt (and wraps his feet around the ropes to cheat a bit) to retain in a brilliant ending.

Rating: A. Excellent stuff here. There’s definitely a story here with Eddie going move for move with Angle but in the end going back to his roots to pick up the upset. Also look at the intelligence that Eddie shows at the end by playing possum just like Kurt did seconds before to beat Angle as he goes just a step too far to retain the title. Go find this match and watch it. You’ll learn something.

We recap Taker vs. Kane. Kane had buried Taker yet again. This time it was over Taker turning into the American and ceasing to be a monster. I guess the tag title run they had together didn’t count? At the Rumble a Taker Gong went off to scare the heck out of Kane and the distraction let Booker put him out. This kept happening until it was announced his return would be here at Mania.

Undertaker vs. Kane

 

Yeah the build here isn’t quite as good as their first Mania match. Taker gets the full on Mania entrance, complete with darkness, chanting, fire, druids, and PAUL BEARER!!! Taker’s hair isn’t even to his shoulders here so the look is a bit off. Oh and he wears a cowboy hat now. Kane is all scared to death here and shouts that Taker isn’t real. He reaches out and touches Taker (there’s an old commercial in there somewhere) and Taker hammers away.

Kane hides on the floor and Taker starts his usual stuff. The ending is so obvious here it’s unreal. Some corner clotheslines put Kane down but the Last Ride is blocked. They mess up the reverse back body drop as they’re about three feet away from the ropes. Taker does some ground and pound but walks into a sidewalk slam. Top rope clothesline gets two.

They slug it out which of course Taker wins. Kane misses a charge in the corner and a running big boot puts Kane down. Old School is caught by a chokeslam and Kane stops to laugh. Taker sits up, Kane panics and I think you know what’s going to end the match.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Taker completely squashed Kane here, which to be fair is more or less Kane’s job. Not much of a match at all although that’s what the people wanted I think. Taker has been the same character since this point for the most part and this was the beginning of the modern Taker.

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH is champion, Benoit won the Rumble and should get the one on one shot. However, at the Rumble Shawn and HHH tied in a Last Man Standing match so Shawn says he should get another shot. Always thought that was ridiculous. Shawn had his chance, but he didn’t win. It shouldn’t be him again. Anyway he signed the contract anyway so Austin made it a triple threat. The video more or less shows Shawn as a heel because he just wouldn’t let Benoit have his moment.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Surprisingly normal entrance for HHH here although he’s wearing white boots. We even get a weapons check which you never see anymore. Everyone goes after everyone to start us off here with Shawn avoiding a Crossface. HHH to the floor and the others slug it out. He comes back in when he thinks it’s best as we’re in a slow build here.

DX explodes for a bit and the fans think someone screwed Bret. Leaping knee gets two. Some nice tandem stuff lets Shawn hit a moonsault off the top to the floor to take everyone out. HHH and Shawn go back to the ring now with Benoit out on the floor. Facebuster to Shawn but he can’t hit the Pedigree as Chris saves. Shawn’s shoulder goes into the post and Benoit hits a snap suplex on HHH.

With Benoit in the Tree of Woe HHH throws Shawn into him in a cool spot. Shawn nips up so Benoit knocks him to the floor. Benoit hits Rolling Germans on the Game Shawn stops the headbutt and HHH takes him down with a DDT. Superplex by HHH gets two on Benoit. Make that three twos. The fans like Benoit here. Pedigree is reversed into a bad Crossface which Shawn breaks up.

Rolling Germans by Shawn are booed and reversed into a set by Benoit. Headbutt to Shawn gets two. Forearm and nipup by Shawn but there’s no one else in the ring. HHH comes in and gets beaten on for a bit. Elbow hits and the Band is Tuned Up. The kick connects but Benoit saves. Shawn vs. Benoit now with Shawn being launched into the post to bust him open. Terrible Crossface to Shawn and HHH grabs his arm before he can tap.

Benoit and HHH hit the floor for some brawling while Shawn is down. HHH sends him into the steps and preps the announce table. Just the Smackdown one though, not the Spanish one. Benoit, ever the traditionalist, puts HHH on the Spanish one. German is blocked as it the Pedigree. Shawn pops up and DX suplexes/drops Benoit through the SD table in a cool visual.

Back in the ring now it’s Shawn vs. HHH. They slug it out with neither guy taking over. HHH is sent to the floor and a cameraman is taken out. Ross wants an EMT for Benoit. HHH gets posted (without spam) and is busted as well. Pedigree out of NOWHERE is the counter to some punches. Somehow Benoit makes the save and the crowd pops like a cherry.

Benoit chops away but HHH grabs a Pedigree attempt which is reversed into a long Sharpshooter in an eruption. Shawn kicks Chris’ head off though which somehow only gets two. Ross’ voice is almost gone here. Loud Benoit chant starts up as Shawn Tunes Up the Band. Benoit backdrops him to the floor and walks into another Pedigree attempt. Benoit counters that into a Crossface with HHH in agony. HHH rolls backwards but Benoit hangs on and HHH taps, giving Benoit the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A+. Great match, everything clicked, absolute classic. There’s nothing else I can say here.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with Benoit in a classic Wrestlemania moment.

Overall Rating: B. This is good but the length starts to get old after awhile. At 4 ½ hours long it needs about an hour cut off to be a classic. Still though with two great world title matches and some other good stuff in there it’s hard to argue. Also we get a legit Mania moment to end the show which is never a bad thing. Good show and worth seeing, but be ready to fast forward some stuff.

 

 

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Smackdown – October 27, 2006: The Big Fight Tag

Smackdown
Date: October 27, 2006
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re on the way to Cyber Sunday, but that only means something for a few people on this show. Other than that we are starting the build towards Survivor Series, or at least we should be pretty soon. I’m not sure what to expect from this show but the main events have been pretty big as of late. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s a ticked off Batista to get things going. He talks about winning the World Title at Wrestlemania XXI but then being forced to vacate it due to an injury. Since then, all he has wanted to do is get his title back but an Irish thorn has been a pain in his neck so he wants Finlay out here right now.

Instead here are Paul Heyman and his security, with Heyman recapping tonight’s main event of John Cena/Batista vs. Big Show/King Booker. Heyman points out that Batista is the lone non-champion, which does it sit well with Batista. That sends Heyman into a speech about why Batista should be a champion because he looks and acts like one. Teddy Long is holding him back, even though these people don’t care about him. Heyman cares about him though and would love to have him in ECW.

Batista says that’s a nice offer and asks for some time to think about it. That’s fine of course, but Batista turns it down before Heyman can get out of the ring. The brawl is on but here are Big Show and King Booker to beat Batista down. John Cena runs in for the save and the good guys clear the ring in a hurry.

Wrestlers talk about whether John Cena or the Marine is tougher. That’s three times for this segment this week.

William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Bobby Lashley/Tatanka

Tatanka shoulders and clotheslines Regal down to start and hands it off to Lashley, who charges into a knee in the corner. Taylor comes in for a few quick shots but charges into a boot to the face. The tag brings in Tatanka and everything breaks down. Lashley gets sent outside and Regal grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes and Taylor pushing a bit for the pin. Tatanka tore his meniscus at some point in there so he might be gone for a bit.

Post match Tatanka beats up the referee and decks Lashley with a right hand, followed by a low blow.

Chris Benoit is asked about possibly facing Umaga at Cyber Sunday but goes over to see Vickie Guerrero. He asks what is going on with her and Chavo Guerrero and what they did to Rey Mysterio. Vickie accuses Benoit of using Eddie to further his career because they weren’t as close as he thought they were.

MVP claims an intestinal virus to keep him out of a No DQ match with Kane. Mr. Kennedy comes in and says he wants to face Undertaker tonight. Long says Kennedy knows Undertaker isn’t here tonight so he can replace MVP in the No DQ match against Kane.

We recap King Booker and Big Show attacking John Cena on Raw, followed by Booker taking out Big Show.

Chavo Guerrero tells Vickie Guerrero to be careful around Chris Benoit and to keep her friends close and enemies closer.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title and yes we’re doing this again. Helms takes him down and pounds away to start but Matt is right back up with a running clothesline into the corner. A bulldog out of said corner gets two but Helms shoves him off the apron for a clothesline on the floor. Back in and Helms chokes on the rope to set up the chinlock for a bit. Matt fights up again and hits the Side Effect for two. The Twist of Fate is loaded up but Helms reverses into a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C. It was a quick match and little more than that, which is not exactly something I needed to see. These two have fought a few times now and while the match at No Mercy was rather good, there was nothing to this one which made me want to see it keep going. Hopefully this is it because there isn’t much else left to see from them.

Ashley, in a fairy costume for later, comes in to ask Paul London and Brian Kendrick’s opinion on her costume. London is disappointed because she stole it from him. Kendrick thinks she looks great and the three of them are heading out later. Ashley leaves and the guys lose it.

Ad for Controversy Creates Cash.

Kane vs. Mr. Kennedy

No DQ. Kane slugs away to start and hammers away in the corner as JBL jumps on Cole for accidentally saying Victoria’s Secret instead of….whatever he was trying to say. A suplex plants Kennedy for two and there’s a hard clothesline to put him down again. Kennedy ducks a big boot though and Kennedy hammers away to little avail. They head outside with Kennedy whipping him into the steps and uses a chair on the knee.

Another hard chair to the knee rocks Kane and Kennedy wraps the knee around the ropes for a running kick back inside. Kane gets in a few uppercuts though and a hard clothesline out of the corner drops Kennedy. A one armed side slam does it again but here’s MVP to break up the top rope clothesline. Kane beats both of them up but MVP chairs the knee out so Kennedy can steal the pin.

Rating: C+. This worked out fairly well and Kennedy continues to build up momentum with one win over a big name after another. Kane was basically in a handicap match here and I think you know where this is going. That should work out well, and a match against Undertaker and Kane should be a nice rub for the young guys.

John Cena comes in to see Batista before the tag match and Batista mocks the You Can’t See Me. That’s not good enough for Cena, who gets in Batista’s face about how it is war out there so take this seriously. Cena wants some heart and Batista buys into the idea.

Here are Chavo and Vickie Guerrero for a chat. Chavo talks about how the family finally have some peace in their lives. A fan says they suck but Chavo says Guerreros don’t suck. They are glad to be rid of Rey Mysterio and let’s look at him saying I QUIT again. Then we watch it again just to make the point clear. Make it three times because Chavo could watch it all day long. There’s the fourth time but as he calls for the fifth, here is Chris Benoit instead. The Guerreros bail before anything can be said.

Video on the tour of the Philippines.

Here is Teddy Long for a chat. He saw what happened in the previous match so next week it is Kane/Undertaker vs. MVP/Mr. Kennedy. As for tonight, it’s a Divas Battle Royal.

Battle Royal

Jillian Hall is Elvis, Michelle McCool is a nurse, Kristal is a gold miner (or digger more than likely), Ashley is a fairy and Layla is a bunny. Before the bell, cue the Miz to make himself referee and we’re ready to go. We’re down to Kristal vs. Layla in less than a minute with Layla taking over. Kristal puts her on the apron though and Miz pulls her out for the win. This certainly existed as a way to get the women in their outfits and out of the ring in a hurry.

Post break, Miz is in the ring with Kristal to celebrate the win but here’s the returning Boogeyman. Miz shoves Kristal at him and the worms are back.

We recap Tatanka snapping.

Big Show and King Booker bicker over who is better but agree to work together tonight.

The Marine is still a thing.

King Booker/Big Show vs. John Cena/Batista

Cena and Booker get things going with Batista applauding from the apron. Batista comes in and gets in a few shots of his own, followed by some choking in the corner. It’s already back to Cena and a double clothesline drops Booker again. We take a break and come back with Cena coming in to slug away at Booker but Show comes in to run him over. Booker adds some kicks to the ribs and there’s Show’s headbutt for a bonus.

Cena clotheslines Booker but gets knocked over the top in a hurry. The sleeper goes on to keep Cena in trouble but he reverses into the ProtoBomb. Booker goes for the tag….and Show walks off to make up for Raw. The hot tag brings in Batista and it’s time to clean house. The shoulders in the corner set up the running powerslam to plant Booker. Cena comes in for most of his finishing sequence, followed by the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a nice enough main event tag team match and that is all it needed to be. What mattered here was getting in some tension between Booker and Batista, which worked out well enough. You don’t need to do anything more than what makes sense at times and that is exactly what went down here. Nice match, and Cyber Sunday gets a boost.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty nice show here for the most part and there is nothing wrong with that. Having Big Show and John Cena as guest stars is helping to prop the show up but the good sign is that they are also building for the future. Mr. Kennedy and MVP are looking strong and Chavo is getting a nice push as well. I’m interested in where things are going and that has not been the case for a bit.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – October 23, 2006: Minus The Celebration

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 23, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 15,101
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the 700th episode and that means we are going to be in for a pretty big show. It does not help that we are just a few weeks removed from the Raw Family Reunion show, but we only have about two weeks to go before Cyber Sunday so the push continues. We have a few matches set up already so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We see a bunch of the media coverage from John Cena laying out Kevin Federline last week.

Here’s Kevin Federline to get things going. He’s back here on Raw for payback because everyone was talking about his appearance last week when John Cena laid him out. Federline isn’t a lovable loser like the Chicago Cubs though and he is ready to see Cena lose at Cyber Sunday. He brings out King Booker and Queen Sharmell, the former of which calls Federline’s album a treasure.

Booker can’t wait for Cena’s title to be on the line so he can be a double champion, but here’s Big Show to disagree. Show refers to the King as just Booker, which does not go well with the King. Show: “I’ll call you anything I want.” The two of them both tell Federline that they will win at Cyber Sunday but here is Cena himself to interrupt. Cena says this must be the dumbest lineup in the history of Celebrity Jeopardy, but he really sees a big royal pain in the a**.

Cena mocks Show’s acting legacy as the Staypuft Marshmallow Man and Jabba the Hut, plus his future role as the white Fat Albert. Then there is Booker, who called Federline’s album a treasure. Cena: “Booker, you have officially lost your status as a black man.” Ron Simmons comes in for the one line cameo (that was perfect) and Cena advises Federline to stop playing with fire (the album name) and to try playing with himself.

Women’s Title Tournament Semifinals: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina jumps her at the bell to start fast but Mickie gets in a few kicks for a breather. A quick suplex puts Mickie back down and we hit the dragon sleeper. That’s broken up and Mickie slugs away, only to get caught with a swinging neckbreaker. Mickie hurricanranas her out of the corner and grabs the MickieDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t much of a match but it was actual wrestling after weeks of nothing for the first round. I know the women’s division is completely worthless at this point but there are people who can wrestle, making the nonsense all the more frustrating. This was just a quick match, but after all of the terrible stuff so far, it was rather refreshing.

We look back at Umaga vs. Jackass.

Carlito/Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chris Masters

Shelton throws Hardy outside to start and Masters gets in a slam on the floor. Back in and Shelton grabs a chinlock with the fans all behind Hardy. Masters comes in but Hardy knocks him away and makes the hot tag to Carlito to pick up the pace. A Flatliner plants Shelton and the back to back corkscrew flip dives hit both villains. Back up and Masters sends Hardy into Carlito and grabs a rollup with a hand on the rope for the pin.

Rating: C. They packed a good bit of stuff into this one and while it wasn’t anything great, it did a nice job of building up the idea of Hardy having to defend against someone at Cyber Sunday. It is a little tricky to build up a match against no one in particular but they are doing what they can with what they have here. I’m not sure it worked, but the match was ok.

Edge and Randy Orton are ready to beat up DX on Sunday because they are sick of the lack of respect. Cyber Sunday is coming, so when Orton faces HHH tonight, the three nominees to referee the match (Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff and Jonathan Coachman) are going to be at ringside.

Johnny Nitro thinks Kevin Federline is a better rapper than Cena, but for now Nitro is going to prove that he is a better wrestler.

Wrestlers debate if John Cena or the Marine is tougher. Cena would like to meet his character because he has bad taste in people he would like to meet.

Johnny Nitro vs. John Cena

Non-title and Nitro has Melina and Kevin Federline with him. Cena starts fast by sending him into the corner and an elbow to the face puts Nitro down again. A Federline distraction lets Nitro hammer away though and a neckbreaker gets two. Cena gets sent outside where Federline slaps him in the face. The distraction lets Nitro hit a big dive and something like a bulldog gives Nitro two. A chinlock with a bodyscissors has Cena in more trouble but he powers out in a hurry. The ProtoBomb into the Shuffle into the FU finishes Nitro in a hurry.

Rating: C. I know Cena keeps beating Nitro but these haven’t been squashes and that makes for some nice boosts for Nitro. He is being treated as someone who might make Cena break a sweat and that’s a lot more than a lot of the other people around here. The Federline stuff is still annoying, but it’s not like it dominated the match or anything.

Post match Cena goes after Federline but gets jumped by Big Show and Booker. The beatdown is on and the heels pose….until Booker lays out Show with the Bookend.

Spirit Squad vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title. Mikey slams JTG down to start and it’s off to Johnny to rip at his face. A suplex, with Mikey almost dropping him, gets two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a leapfrog allows JTG to get over for the hot tag to Shad and it’s time to clean house. The G9 finishes Mikey in a hurry. Short and to the point, as Cryme Tyme continues to look like stars.

Post match Kenny goes on a rant about how he is sick of the losing, especially to a bunch of old people. Therefore, he is going to beat Ric Flair on his own.

This Week In Wrestling History: WCW’s Chamber Of Horrors (Voiceover: “Yes I said electrocuting him.”). The snark is high with this one.

Eugene, in a Chicago Bears jersey, is shooting out t-shirts when Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada interrupt. Estrada talks about the fans being able to choose if Umaga faces Chris Benoit, Sandman or Kane at Cyber Sunday….and Eugene shoots him low with a t-shirt. Umaga destroys Eugene as usual.

Video on the Japanese tour.

Jim Duggan tells Eugene he was too nice of a guy out there….and Eugene jumps him but seems to immediately regret it.

Kenny vs. Ric Flair

The Spirit Squad is here with Kenny but Flair didn’t believe what he said anyway, so here are Sgt. Slaughter, Roddy Piper and Dusty Rhodes to even things up. Kenny runs him over for an early two but Flair is back with the chops. Mikey grabs Flair’s foot though and Kenny gets a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Post match the brawl is on with the Squad being cleared out (minus Kenny, who ran off). Old school dancing ensues.

Robert Patrick is in the Marine. Good grief wrap this stuff up already.

Brooke Hogan has an album coming out tomorrow.

DX is in the back to plug their merchandise but they’re also not worried about Randy Orton and Edge. They drop down like they’re in an elevator….but Shawn says it’s out of order and walks away like he is going down a flight of stairs. Shawn’s lame dad jokes are always good for a chuckle.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

Vince McMahon runs into Eric Bischoff and Jonathan Coachman. They’re cool with each other before the main event and Vince plugs Controversy Creates Cash.

We look back at Cena getting beaten down.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Eric Bischoff, Jonathan Coachman, Shawn Michaels, Lita and Edge are all at ringside, though Vince is off on the phone with his broker. After a quick joke about Edge and Orton’s relationship, we’re ready to go. We take a break before the bell (it’s so easy) and HHH starts fast with a knee to the face into a suplex. Orton is already out on the floor so HHH posts him and takes it back inside.

Orton gets in a shot to the face and grabs a DDT, setting up the posing. The big knee drop gets two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and HHH hits a jumping knee to the heel, only to have Lita grab the leg. Orton gets in the backbreaker but the RKO is broken up, with Orton being shoved into both the referee and Shawn. Edge spears HHH so Shawn superkicks Coach. Shawn gets posted by Edge but Bischoff hands Orton a chair to knock HHH out for the pin (as JR’s voice is almost out).

Rating: C+. It is usually better to keep this one short and that is what they did here. Orton vs. HHH does not have the best chemistry so having them out there for about seven minutes with interference makes it a little bit better. It was also the right way to go as Orton needed to win a match, even if it should have happened last week.

Overall Rating: C. I like the fact that they didn’t make this feel like some big, special show after the Raw Family Reunion a few weeks back. This show focused on Cyber Sunday, as it should have, because the show is in less than two weeks. I’m not exactly interested in a lot of what they are doing, but a little bit of a build is better than none at all. Not a great show here, but at least they did something.

 

 

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Smackdown – October 20, 2006: When Raw Takes Over

Smackdown
Date: October 20, 2006
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,169
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s time for another guest stars show as John Cena and Big Show are here to scout for the upcoming Champion Of Champion match. That could make for a bit of a problem though as King Booker is defending the title against Batista following a #1 contenders match on last week’s show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

MVP vs. Kane

MVP talks some trash before Kane’s entrance but the fire cuts him off. Some right hands rock Kane to start but he shows MVP how they are really done. A shot to the face puts MVP on the floor but Kane throws him right back inside. That’s fine with MVP, who gets in a shot to the knee to take over. Back in and Kane uppercuts his way up from his knee, setting up a big boot. There’s the side slam into the top rope clothesline as JBL continues to not be able to stand MVP. A low blow breaks up the chokeslam for the DQ, allowing MVP to run away.

Elijah Burke vs. Vito

Sylvester Terkay is at ringside and Vito is a French maid this week. Vito punches him down to start but misses a top rope elbow as JBL keeps freaking out over the dress. Burke sends him into the corner and some elbows to the back set up the armbar. That’s broken up as Vito makes the comeback but spends too much time messing with the skirt, allowing Burke to knock him into the ropes. Terkay’s big boot finishes Vito.

Rating: D+. Hopefully this starts wrapping up the dress bit as there is little reason to feature Vito once he loses like this. There wasn’t much of a shelf life to the gimmick anyway and we are long past the expiration point. Burke and Terkay seem great on paper but for some reason nothing has clicked yet. That is becoming quite the trend for them and that isn’t a bad thing.

Gregory Helms and Matt Hardy talk trash to each other, with Helms asking how long it has been since Hardy held a title. Teddy Long comes in to give Helms a match with the Undertaker tonight.

Fans have seen the Marine.

William Regal talks about being a great wrestler who has held lots of titles but that has not been the case as of late. He has been focused on everyone else and that is stopping right now. Regal introduces us to his friend Dave Taylor, who is here to help him stay on track.

William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Funaki

Regal is in purple trunks for a change. A knee to the face rocks Funaki to start as JBL makes racist jokes. Taylor comes in to drop Funaki ribs first across the top rope and Regal comes back in for a chinlock. With that not working, Taylor comes back in to hit Funaki in the face. Regal does the same and a boot to Funaki’s face cuts off his comeback attempt. A knee sends Funaki into the corner though and Scotty is allowed to come in with Regal not even trying to break it up. Taylor hits a butterfly suplex with a floatover to pin Scotty.

Rating: C-. This was all about establishing Taylor and Regal as a serious team and it did that well enough. There was no drama here but it wasn’t that kind of a match. The tag division needs a fresh team and these two could work out rather well in that role. Let them try as they already have a chemistry and experience. Could it be that much worse than everyone else?

Video on Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

I Quit match. Chavo hammers away in the corner to start but the 619 chants bring Rey back up. Rey sends him outside for the big running flip dive and they’re both down on the floor. A posting puts Chavo down again, followed by Rey dropkicking a chair into Chavo’s face in the corner.

Back up and a Vickie distraction lets Chavo start in on the leg, which has a history of working against Rey. Chavo even ties the chair around the knee for a frog splash, which still isn’t enough to make Rey give up. They go up the ramp with Chavo staying on the knee, only to have Rey kick him off the ramp. The running seated senton to the floor hits Chavo again, which shows you just how high that stage is.

A Crossface isn’t enough to make Chavo quit so Rey chokes with the chair. He can’t follow up though, allowing Chavo to throw him onto some equipment cases. Rey gets in a right hand and climbs the lighting structure but Chavo knocks him into a Tree of Woe in the structure. Some chair shots to the knee are enough to make Rey give up.

Rating: B-. That’s the last you’ll be seeing of Rey until August as he needed another knee surgery. This was a heck of a showcase for Chavo, who really does not have a major win to his credit. Rey was World Champion about three months ago so this still carries some weight. Rey needed to go away and it was nice to see them elevate someone on his way out for a bit.

Gregory Helms vs. Undertaker

Non-title. Helms tries to dodge a bit but gets punched in the corner, taking the turnbuckle pad off in the process. Snake Eyes into a big boot connects but here is Mr. Kennedy for a distraction. That doesn’t exactly work as Undertaker sends him into the steps and drives Helms into the post. A chokeslam into the Tombstone finishes Helms in a hurry.

Post match Kennedy tries to jump him again but gets knocked down. The threat of a chokeslam sends Kennedy running.

Here is Miz to host a Diva Dance Off. The women come out but we need judges, so here are Nick and Aaron Carter. Miz brings up Layla having Big Dick Johnson dance on him a few weeks ago but gives her a hug to show that everything is ok. The women dance, Kristal grinds on Miz, he picks her as the winner, the Carters say it was Layla, a catfight ensues. More of the same from this stuff.

The Marine has actions scenes.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending with Big Show and John Cena coming out to watch. Batista powers him into the corner to start before grabbing a headlock. Booker’s shoulder can’t take Batista down but Booker manages to send him outside for a cheap shot from a hidden Finlay. Back in and the Book End gives Booker two and Batista gets tied up in the ropes.

Some forearms to the chest and a kick to the head knock him to the floor for a crash Back in and we hit the chinlock but Batista fights up for the clothesline comeback. The spinebuster connects so Booker goes outside, where Batista drives him into Big Show. Back in and Batista hits the spear but Show comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if there was even the first hint of drama to the result but these two still don’t have the best matches together. Maybe it’s a styles clash or something but it really doesn’t fit all that well together. The ending being a matter of time rather than any doubt didn’t do them any favors though and there was only so much that they could do.

Post match the big brawl is on with Cena and Batista taking Big Show down. Teddy Long comes out to make the tag match for next week.

Overall Rating: C-. Chavo Guerrero and Rey Mysterio saved the day here as otherwise this would have been one of the lamest Smackdowns in a long time. It’s pretty clear that the show is being put on hold until we get to Cyber Sunday and that makes for some rather dull television. The wrestling was ok but it didn’t feel like much of it mattered, at least not in the present. Totally skippable show, though Chavo vs. Rey was good.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – October 16, 2006: The Early Chapters

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 16, 2006
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,169
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are on the way to Cyber Sunday and that means things are going to start getting some of the stipulations set up. The main event is already set up as John Cena, Big Show and Booker T. will have the big Champion of Champions match. We need something else to be added to the card though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s DX to cut off Lilian Garcia’s intro….or at least their music does, as we have Randy Orton and Edge dressed as DX instead. Orton (as HHH) has the big nose and Edge (as Shawn Michaels) is already favoring his back. Edge talks about how this is all they need to do to get people’s interest and sell some merchandise. Orton says the fans suck but here is the real DX to interrupt. Shawn to HHH: “Do I look like that much of an idiot?”

HHH doesn’t get why Edge and Orton are doing this because they are already huge stars. Edge had a highest rated segment on Raw, even if Edge couldn’t really rise to the occasion. And yes they have photos to prove things. Then there is Randy Orton, who is the #1 downloaded superstar on the internet….at least in the gay community. I will now pause for all of the AJ Styles jokes and come back with HHH showing various photos of Orton wearing only a towel.

One of them happens to be Shawn from Playgirl, sending Shawn into a panic. Shawn: “I WAS YOUNG! I WAS STUPID! YOU TOLD ME GIRLS BOUGHT THAT MAGAZINE!” Orton says he wants HHH tonight, but HHH says he go that way. Edge tries to make it more clear and phrases things badly as well. The match is on and the early fight goes to DX as Orton and Edge are cleared out in a hurry. Shawn freaking out is always good for a chuckle.

Spirit Squad vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title and Cryme Tyme is making their debut. JTG and Johnny start things off with JTG snapping off a hiptoss before handing it off to Shad. The big boot has Johnny in trouble but Mikey comes in for a bulldog on JTG. The chinlock goes on but a suplex is broken up, allowing the hot tag to Shad. Everything breaks down and Shad’s kick to the face gets two on Johnny with Mikey making the save. The Samoan drop/running flip neckbreaker finishes Mikey.

Rating: C. I know the gimmick is not something that would pass today (and probably shouldn’t have back then) but Cryme Tyme has grown a lot on me over the years. They work well together and Shad is a solid big man. Throw in a good finisher and what else could you need from a midcard team? The Spirit Squad is desperate for some new challengers so this is a good time for a debut.

During the break, Kenny yelled at the rest of the team and walked out.

Melina and Johnny Nitro promise a celebrity appearance.

The Marine has premiered. It wasn’t exactly a blockbuster, but it did premiere.

Jonathan Coachman welcomes King Booker and Queen Sharmell as his guests and gives them the run of his office. Cryme Tyme comes in and takes Coach’s food and leaves. Booker didn’t understand a word they said because he doesn’t speak Ebonics. They seem to have stolen Booker’s wallet as well.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and we start fast with Masters knocking Hardy into the corner. Crazy and Benjamin fight on the floor as Masters’ suplex gets two on Hardy. Some shoulders in the corner are broken up and Hardy hammers away until Crazy sends him outside. Shelton comes back in for a Tower of Doom and some near falls to send us to a break.

Back with Masters suplexing Hardy again before slugging it out with Benjamin. Crazy comes back in with a missile dropkick but gets caught in the Masterlock. Benjamin springboards in with a Blockbuster to Masters for the save but Hardy is back in to clean house. A basement dropkick puts Benjamin on the floor and there’s a backdrop to do the same to Crazy. The Twist of Fate into a Swanton finishes Masters to retain Hardy’s title.

Rating: C+. This was all about keeping things moving instead of wasting time on a bunch of stuff that wasn’t needed. That’s the right idea for a four way and Hardy getting the win was the only way to go. None of these three are exactly interesting challengers for Hardy but he needed some momentum after last week’s loss and beating three lame challengers at once will work well enough.

Booker is telling the cops about Cryme Tyme robbing him (they all look alike to him) when Big Show comes in. Bickering ensues but Vince McMahon comes in with an announcement. He’ll wait until the third champion is here though.

Here are Melina and Johnny Nitro to introduce their celebrity friend. It’s….Kevin Federline, best known for being married to Brittney Spears and…..well for looking like an idiot. Federline thanks the two of them but says it isn’t great to be here because the people aren’t treating the three of them with respect. Don’t worry though, because he knows these are the same people buying magazines with his face on them. Melina asks for one of his new raps, but the people can wait until his album comes out.

Cue John Cena, who isn’t happy with the lack of rapping. He’ll handle it instead and calls Federline the world’s biggest scumbag. Federline has less talent than Paris Hilton and apparently likes seamen. Cena says he would be spearing Brittney if Federline wasn’t around and that’s enough to get Federline charging. Cena beats up Nitro but here are Big Show and King Booker to interrupt.

Before anything else can be said or done, here’s Vince McMahon to cut everyone off. Vince hypes up the Cyber Sunday main event and announces that one of them will be defending their title. The fans will get to vote on who defends, and voting is open right now. I could have sworn he announced that last week, but it’s the logical way to go anyway.

Everyone but Cena leaves so he calls Federline back into the ring. Cena knows Federline considers himself a trendsetter so he can tell people who to vote for. Federline wants Cena’s title defended so he can lose, meaning it’s an FU to a nice pop. The Federline stuff is as dated as anything can be, but seeing an annoying quote unquote celebrity get beaten up is fine.

Carlito vs. Rob Conway

Conway hammers away to start but Carlito is back with the left hands and springboard elbow. A missed charge lets Conway get two but the Backstabber gives Carlito the fast pin.

Post match, Carlito gets to spit the apple.

Edge and Lita meet Vince McMahon in the back, with Vince making Edge/Randy Orton vs. DX for Cyber Sunday. As for a stipulation, how about a guest referee? Like say Jonathan Coachman, Eric Bischoff or Vince himself! Vince agrees and we’re on.

This Week In Wrestling History: When Snuka Flies, Muraco Dies.

Two of the guys from Jackass are brought into the ring for a chat but here is Armando Alejandro Estrada, who isn’t impressed. They’re willing to do anything, so here is Umaga so destruction can ensue. Oh man I had forgotten about this thing.

The Marine is still a thing.

Women’s Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Candice Michelle vs. Maria vs. Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Bra and panties match and all four have already lost their first round matches. Lilian has to read an introduction that is so long that she needs several cards and even Lawler is mocking her for taking so much time. Maria loses her top, Torrie loses her top, Victoria loses her pants and Maria gets rid of Torrie’s pants to win.

We actually get some brackets:

Melina

Mickie James

Lita

Maria

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Shawn Michaels and Edge are here too. HHH does the pre-match intro and includes one more Orton gay joke. Orton jumps HHH from behind to start and pounds away but gets sent outside. We take a break with Orton holding his knee and come back with HHH hitting a knee drop for two. Cue Lita for a distraction so Orton can send HHH over the corner, allowing Edge to get in a DDT on the floor.

A swinging neckbreaker gives Orton two and we hit the neck crank. Orton’s powerslam gets a few near falls but HHH comes back with a bunch of right hands. There’s the jumping knee and the facebuster but an Edge distraction lets Orton get in the backbreaker for two. Lita offers another distraction though and Edge hits HHH low. That’s not enough though as Lita throws in a chair but Shawn hits Orton low for the save. HHH chairs Orton down for the pin.

Rating: C. And that’s how the DX vs. Orton/Edge feud starts: with DX overcoming the odds and winning the first match in the main event of Raw. That isn’t the best sign for the future of the feud and makes Orton/Edge, who are already looking up at DX, look like they’re in trouble to start. One of the biggest problems with DX has been giving them a real challenge and this didn’t make me think they are in any danger. That’s not a good way to start a feud and it isn’t the best look here.

Overall Rating: C+. This show went by quickly and that was a good thing. They introduced some new things such as Cryme Tyme (who instantly felt like the biggest team in the division) and Edge/Orton as the top villains, but the wrestling was often skippable. In other words, this week’s show was about setting the table for the future so while it worked out well enough, it isn’t a show you need to see because it’s an early chapter in a lot of longer stories.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – October 9, 2006 (Raw Family Reunion): They Actually Did It

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 9, 2006
Location: Columbia Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a special three hour show this week with Raw Family Reunion. A bunch of people who have not appeared in a long time will be back and that could make for some interesting moments. We are also in for the start of some new stories as John Cena finally vanquished Edge for good last week inside a cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

New opening sequence, featuring To Be Loved by Papa Roach. I always liked that one.

All of the commentators welcome us to the show, which does give it the pay per view feeling.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. He’s hyped up to be here on this special edition of the show, which is also the 698th episode. Before he gets going though, he has a message for Edge, after the chairs, the cages, the violence and the carnage, the champ is still here. Cue King Booker and Queen Sharmell from Smackdown with Booker bragging about how he retained the title in a four way last night at No Mercy. He also brings up his last appearance on Raw, when he made Cena kiss his feet.

Cena does a better British accent and talks about coming to Smackdown where he beat Booker’s team in a six man. The fight is almost on but here’s Big Show to say he’s the Champion Of Champions. Show: “You’ve got a white guy who talks like he’s black.” Show: “What you talking about Willis?” Show says Booker is a black guy who talks like Prince Charles so Cena calls him the Michelin Man. Cena doesn’t think much of Show calling himself the most dominant giant ever. Cena: “There’s another giant. Andre, The. Look it up.”

Show says he’s heard that before and if Andre was here, Show would beat him up too (that sounds so wrong). Booker asks what the point is and then they argue over whose movie was best, with Show bringing up the Waterboy. Booker talks about being in Ready to Rumble and….the other two crack up laughing (I mean…..ok yeah it was that bad). Cena thinks they should figure out who the best is and hammers on Show, who clears the ring in a hurry.

Teddy Long, Paul Heyman and Jonathan Coachman (the bosses) argue in the back over what we just saw. Three matches are made for later: Show vs. Jeff Hardy, Booker vs. Rob Van Dam and Cena vs. Undertaker. Well that just escalated.

Umaga vs. Kane

Armando Alejandro Estrada (carrying a long wooden stick) is here with Umaga and the loser leaves Raw. Kane slugs away to start but Umaga hammers him into the corner. Umaga misses a charge into the corner though and eats an elbow, only to knock Kane outside in a hurry. We take a break and come back with the running hip attack being cut off with a grab of the throat.

The chokeslam is broken up though as Umaga knocks him down and hits a top rope splash. The Samoan Spike is blocked as well and now the chokeslam connects. There’s the top rope clothesline but Estrada hits Kane with the board, setting up the Samoan Spike to give Umaga the pin.

Rating: D+. I wouldn’t expect any long matches tonight and that is not the worst thing in the world. This was all about wrapping up their rivalry (at least for now) and it worked out well enough. Beating Kane is almost a required merit badge for a monster so at least they got it out of the way again here. Kane really needs a change of scenery anyway.

Post match Kane gets the big sendoff round of applause.

South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier is here and gets an introduction from Lilian Garcia.

Kane goes to leave but the Highlanders stop him to say it was an honor to be here with him. The beating doesn’t take long and Kane walks out.

DX has to give a formal apology for everything they did last week when they ran the show, which apparently they weren’t allowed to do. HHH doesn’t let Shawn finish any of them though because none of them were their fault. Shawn apologizes for beating Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch in a street fight, but that isn’t until later this evening. They realize they’re live so it’s time for a quick merchandise plug. These things are horribly corny but they make me chuckle.

Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Hardy hammers away to start as Tazz actually mentions that Show is from South Carolina in the kind of trivia that most commentators wouldn’t think to include. Show shrugs everything off and slams Hardy down, only to miss the Vader Bomb elbow. The Twist of Fate is countered but Jeff manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope.

The Whisper in the Wind sets up the Swanton for two, only to have Show grab the cobra clutch backbreaker (dubbed the Big Sleep). Now it’s the chokeslam for the pin. Too short to rate, but Joey citing the Hardcore Title as proof that Hardy was extreme was funny. They really didn’t have anyone from Raw other than the new Intercontinental Champion though? Like, Carlito wasn’t available?

Post match Johnny Nitro runs in to beat on Hardy but gets laid out by Show as well.

The Marine trailer.

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Street fight, but first, HHH has to say Vince isn’t here because he can’t find one big enough in South Carolina. HHH mentions Cocky, the University of South Carolina mascot, who appears on the screen. He isn’t here though, because apparently he has representation. Fans: “GAME! COCKS!” HHH: “No no. I’m the Game, he’s the cock.” HHH makes every joke about the name you can imagine and Shawn looks ready to bite through his lip.

Anyway, the match starts fast with HHH being sent outside, where he sends Cade face first into the announcers’ table. A double whip sends HHH into the steps and an atomic drop into a running big boot to the face drops Shawn. The whipping is on, which makes things a lot more difficult as Shawn and Cade look a good bit alike here. HHH comes back with the chair and Cade is busted open off a shot to the head. The table is set up at ringside and Shawn elbows Murdoch through it in a hurry. Back in and the superkick into the Pedigree finishes Cade.

Rating: C+. This was short and the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt but it was intense while it lasted. DX needed to break a bit of a sweat and while Cade and Murdoch aren’t the biggest opponents, so this was a nice little surprise. At least they got violent in a street fight, which isn’t the case often enough in these things.

In the back, Edge blames DX for costing him the World Title last week. Tonight, it’s the Cutting Edge.

We look back at Kane losing.

Here’s Shelton Benjamin to say this is almost his hometown so he isn’t leaving without some competition from any brand.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit takes him into the corner to start but Benjamin manages a quick shot to escape. A drop onto the ropes sets up the chinlock but Benoit fights up with the running forearm to the head. The German suplex connects on Benjamin, though the Swan Dive only connects with the mat. Not that it matters as Benoit grabs the Crossface for the fast win.

Paul Heyman tries to give ECW credit for Benoit but Teddy Long isn’t having it. Coach brings in Super Crazy and asks which brand is the best. All three try to get Crazy to say their brand is the best but the only thing Crazy can do is say all three brands are great. Long: “YOU SPEAK ENGLISH???” Crazy: “Si.” The bosses are all stunned.

Chavo Guerrero/William Regal/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley/Rey Mysterio

Chavo starts with Rey and is quickly hurricanranaed out to the floor. Finlay and Regal have to bail to the floor to avoid a double 619 and the big brawl is on as we take a fast break. Back with Cole telling us not to adjust our sets because this is indeed Raw. Has anyone in the world ever thought they were on the wrong channel (or night in this case) and actually adjusted their set? Maybe turning the sharpness up and the contrast down makes it ECW?

Anyway, we’re back with Finlay hitting a shoulderbreaker on Rey so Chavo can hammer away in the corner. A big kick to the head allows Rey to bring tag Batista….but the referee doesn’t see it. The sitout bulldog plants Chavo and allows the real tag to Batista for the house cleaning. The Jackhammer gets two on Chavo as everything breaks down. Rey hits the top rope hurricanrana into the 619 into the spinebuster into the frog splash for the pin (as Lashley just gets to look on for some reason).

Rating: C. Nothing but a showcase match here and that’s all it needed to be. There is something nice about taking six of the best a show has and throwing them out there for a pretty easy night’s work and that’s all they did here. They had some star power and it keeps Chavo vs. Rey going (assuming they want to) and the fans had some fun. Not too bad.

Eric Bischoff has a book.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young get to come out to the stage for a quick wave. Nothing wrong with that.

John Cena trained with Marines at Paris Island, South Carolina.

Booker doesn’t think much of Cena and promises to dominate RVD tonight.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Melina walks up the steps and Lawler is livid about the lack of splits entrance. Actually we’ll make this a lumberjack match, with the Extreme Strip Poker participants at ringside. They both get sent outside to start and then get sent back inside because yes, this is a lumberjack match. Back in and they slug it out until Torrie gets two off a suplex. A Kristal distraction lets Melina grab a rollup with trunks to win.

Post match Torrie gives Kristal a Stink Face.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference. Edge is WWE Champion here so this is a bit out of date.

King Booker vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Booker misses a kick to the face to start and gets rolled up for two as JBL and Tazz bicker about announcing prowess. Van Dam gets sent shoulder first into the post and Booker hits the hook kick to the face as the arguing continues. Cole: “I’M BEGGING ANYBODY TO LET ME CALL A NEAR FALL!” Van Dam fights up and elbows Booker in the face but Sharmell crotches him on top, allowing Booker to hit a spinning kick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another short match but they did what they were supposed to do. Just let them get in and out while keeping Van Dam protected. It’s not like the champions are likely to lose here and they didn’t waste time trying to make us believe otherwise. These two can have a better match if they are given the chance, but that wasn’t the point here.

Cryme Tyme debuts next week.

The Spirit Squad’s Mitch admits that he sucks but he’ll beat Ric Flair tonight because Flair has no friends.

Vince McMahon returns to interrupt the bosses and has an idea: a triple threat Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion match at Cyber Sunday with the fans voting on who gets to defend their title. Yeah they like the plan.

Clip of the Marine premiere at Camp Pendleton.

Mitch vs. Ric Flair

The Spirit Squad is here so Ric brings out Roddy Piper, Arn Anderson, Ted DiBiase and IRS. That’s a collection of great legends and IRS! If nothing else the Horsemen theme is great to hear every time. The Squad runs off in fear and Flair shrugs off the forearms to the back, setting up the Figure Four for the win in less than a minute.

Here are Edge and Lita for the Cutting Edge. They don’t waste time and bring out Randy Orton in the guest. Edge talks about how Orton impressed him two years ago when he won the World Title but since then, he has done absolutely nothing. Orton doesn’t like that and it’s even worse when Edge talks about all of Orton’s big losses. We see a clip of HHH throwing Orton out of Evolution and beating him down and Edge says it was all HHH ruining his career. Now history is repeating itself and HHH cost him the title last week. Someone has to stand up to DX and it should be the two of them. Hands are shaken and we have an alliance.

John Cena vs. Undertaker

Non-title again. They circle each other to start until Cena hammers away in the corner, only to get tossed into the corner so Undertaker can show him how it’s done. Old School is countered though and it’s a superplex to give Cena two. Undertaker grabs the bearhug but Cena is out in a hurry for the flying shoulder. A running DDT gives Cena two and the sit up freaks him out. The FU is countered and Undertaker hits the chokeslam but here are Big Show and Booker to jump Undertaker.

Rating: C. Another match that didn’t matter much but the atmosphere was certainly there. You don’t see two actual titans of WWE going at it very often and while Cena was still climbing, he was the top star in the company here and putting him in the ring with Undertaker feels important. There was no one anyone was taking a pin here so for once, the run in was the perfect call.

Post match Mr. Kennedy comes in after Undertaker as well and the two of them go up the ramp. The champs are left alone and Cena drops Booker, setting up the STFU on Show. An FU plants Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As you can probably guess, this wasn’t about the wrestling itself and for once it wasn’t even about the legends. This was about making people care about all three brands on one night and putting a new coat of paint on Raw (or at least giving it a new theme song). That worked out well and it felt like an important show without anything that dragged the show down. It’s not a masterpiece but it felt energized and I had fun, which is the point of a big special like this. Nice show and they did well when they were trying to.

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Monday Night Raw – October 2, 2006: The One Match Formula

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 2, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a big title match as Raw doesn’t have a pay per view in October. This time around it is going to be the grand finale (for now at least) between Edge and John Cena as Edge is challenging for the Raw World Title inside a cage. Other than that, we are going to be seeing more of DX vs. the McMahons, or at least Jonathan Coachman acting as their surrogate. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is DX to open things up, including a look at the McMahons being destroyed in the Cell during their entrance. HHH hits the catchphrases and shows us a shot of Vince McMahon’s face being put into Big Show’s…..uh, yeah. Before Shawn can tell you what you can do if you’re not down with that, here’s Jonathan Coachman to interrupt. On behalf of the McMahons, it’s time for a Texas Tornado match. Why does it always have to be a Texas tornado match? Why not a Kansas Kollision? Or a Wichita Whirlwind if you want to keep up the theme?

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Charlie Haas/Viscera vs. Highlanders

DX cleans house to start but get caught in the corner by the numbers advantage. Viscera’s big splash hits Haas though and DX hammers away at the monster. A double shoulder takes him down and it’s a facebuster/atomic drop to put Murdoch on the floor. There’s a double DDT to Viscera and Shawn drops the top rope elbow on Haas. The superkick into the Pedigree puts Haas away in a hurry.

Post match Coach freaks out and says we aren’t done tonight because he runs this show. HHH says maybe DX should and chases Coach to the back because they’re in charge tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Jeff starts fast with something close to a Sling Blade and drops the leg between the legs. That’s enough to send Nitro bailing to the floor and Hardy hits a dive off the apron. We come back from a break with Nitro holding a reverse chinlock with a knee in Hardy’s back.

Melina screams a lot as Hardy is sent into the post, setting up a backbreaker for two. Nitro cranks on both arms but Hardy pulls himself up and kicks Nitro away for a break. A few more shots to the face put Nitro on the floor with Hardy being right there to dropkick Nitro in the face. The barricade run into the dive takes out Nitro and Melina (for the required ankle injury) and it’s the Swanton to give Hardy the title.

Rating: C+. Not too bad here and it was nice to see Hardy actually get the big win here instead of having him come up short again. Nitro has gotten a nice boost out of the title and should be fine going forward. A rematch wouldn’t surprise me either, especially with Cyber Sunday on the way soon. Hardy winning the title still feels like an important deal and that is how a title change should come across.

We look at Edge cashing in the Money in the Bank briefcase to take the World Title from John Cena for the first time.

DX is outside of Coach’s office but he won’t let them in. Jokes about what Coach is doing in there (it could put his eye out) abound.

Jeff Hardy is happy to win the title, with the interview turning into an ad for Maria appearing on ECW’s Extreme Strip Poker next week. Melina comes in to screech so Jeff puts his hand over her mouth.

Coach is on the phone with Vince McMahon, who tells Coach to do….something. That sends Coach outside into the hallway where he can’t find DX. He walks a little ways but eventually runs into HHH, with Shawn popping up on the other side. We get the Good, The Bad And The Ugly knockoff music until DX throws Coach into the women’s locker room.

HHH is rather pleased as they go in, with Shawn closing his eyes. The women tell Shawn where Coach went so he gives pursuit while HHH stops to flirt with Torrie Wilson, Kelly Kelly and Mickie James. Shawn pulls him back and the chase continues until Coach finds Big Dick Johnson. Then he slips on a wet floor, allowing DX to chase him outside. DX throws him in a trashcan, with a janitor throwing trash on top of him and wheeling it away.

Here’s how John Cena got the title back from Edge at the Royal Rumble.

DX comes up to the Spirit Squad and tells them that there is a new dress code around here (in a Johnny Ace impression). The Squad protests but the power of the sledgehammer makes them change their minds.

Umaga vs. Snitsky

Umaga, who is facing Kane in a Loser Leaves Raw match next week, hits a pop up Samoan drop, the running hip attack in the corner, and the Samoan Spike for the fast pin.

Randy Orton is sick of hearing about Carlito so it’s time for an RKO.

The Marine has action scenes.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

Orton starts fast and knocks Carlito outside, followed by a whip into the post back inside. Carlito’s legs are fine enough to snap off a hurricanrana but Orton pulls him down by the arm again. That’s broken up so Carlito slugs away and hits the springboard back elbow. A springboard flip dive into a Lionsault gets two but Orton sends him to the apron. Carlito springboards in with a high crossbody but Orton rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. Carlito continues to be just there and I don’t particularly care to see him do anything here. He’s not someone I want to cheer for or want to see get his revenge on Orton, because there is nothing to Orton. All he does is make spitting jokes and used to date Trish. Is there anything else to him other than that?

We look at Rob Van Dam winning the Raw World Title from John Cena at One Night Stand, with an assist from Edge.

The Spirit Squad needs more time to change and refuse to come out, so DX threatens to strip them of the Tag Team Titles. HHH then describes them as “gay”.

Cryme Tyme steals a doughnut from a police office and run away.

Nicky vs. Sgt. Slaughter

The Squad are here as cheerleaders in some rather revealing uniforms (Which don’t cover their underwear. I’ll spare you the question of why DX had those.). Nicky misses a right hand, meaning he has to go to the ropes to get out of the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter gets two off a gutbuster but gets sent outside for the group beatdown. Back in and the USA chant goes on, only to be cut off by Nicky’s sleeper. Another Cobra Clutch is broken up and Nicky slaps on the armbar. Cue DX on screen to say that Nicky forgot his (female) underwear, allowing Slaughter to grab the rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was little more than a way to have the Squad get embarrassed by DX and that worked out well enough. It’s not like the Squad has any real capital to lose at this point so having someone like Slaughter, especially under these circumstances, beat him makes any difference. Just get the titles off of them already though because the joke of them losing is getting old.

Here’s how Edge won the title from John Cena and Rob Van Dam on Raw in July.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Victoria vs. Mickie James

DX orders them to wear lingerie, which is….pretty much about the same as they usually wear. Victoria hammers away in the corner to start and fires off some knees to the ribs. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked without much effort but Victoria’s Boston crab is escaped as well. Victoria sends her to the apron so Mickie tries a sunset flip, with Victoria grabbing the ropes for the block. The referee breaks that up so it’s a sunset flip to give Mickie the pin.

Post match, Victoria freaks out.

Commercial for Eric Bischoff’s Controversy Creates Cash book, focusing on him firing people.

Chris Masters is asking Bischoff about the book when DX comes in. Bischoff calls them an NWO rip off, which Shawn deems BLASPHEMY. That’s enough to send Bischoff running, so HHH asks Masters when he’s going to write a book. Masters has been thinking of writing a nutrition book, and HHH even has the title: “How To Lose 50lbs In Four Weeks”. Masters leaves in a hurry. Shawn is still worried about being an NWO rip off but HHH says he who laughs last laughs best. Then they laugh.

Then John Cena won the title back from Edge at Unforgiven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge, with Lita, is challenging in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. Cena has a bad arm coming in but the good arm is fine enough to ram Edge into the cage over and over. A kick to the face rocks Cena though and the bad arm goes into the cage. Cena’s suplex cuts off Edge’s escape attempt and gets two as JR is right there to explain that Edge would have won the title had he won. See how quick and easy it can be?

The FU is countered into the Impaler for two and Edge slaps on a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Cena’s Throwback gets two. Edge pulls him off the cage though and it’s a spear to drive Cena into the steal for a good looking crash. Now it’s Edge going up but Cena catches him with a super bulldog as we take a break. Back with Cena using the good arm for a belly to belly suplex as we cut to some Marines watching from the crowd.

Edge is back up to throw Cena’s bad arm into the cage but Cena is right there again to stop the escape attempt. They sit on top and slug it out with Cena being knocked back in first. Cena pulls him back in as well but Edge gets in a superplex for two. Edge climbs but gets crotched on top, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. The FU is blocked with a grab of the cage though and Edge sends him head first into the cage again.

Another FU is countered again to give Edge two again so he tries to escape. That’s broken up by Cena, so Lita grabs Edge’s arms as she throws in a chair. The referee ejects Lita but the referee gets bumped. A heck of a chair shot knocks Edge down to set up the STFU but here are Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch to take Cena out. Cue DX to make the save though and Shawn superkicks Murdoch into the door into Edge’s head. The FU retains Cena’s title.

Rating: B. Good stuff here and it felt like the big blowoff to the feud. They needed to wrap the thing up here as it has been going on for about eight months now and there isn’t much else to do. The good thing is that Edge stayed strong in defeat, and now they are ready to move on to something else. Cena needs a fresh challenger and we can get somewhere else soon enough, but for now they had the big finale and it worked out well.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ALL about the main event with the DX shenanigans just filling in time elsewhere. What we got was a nice show built around one match and that worked out fine. They can start things up again next week as the build towards Cyber Sunday can begin, but this was good enough and it’s nice to see them set something up and then pay it off like this.

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Smackdown – September 29, 2006: Cena Brought It

Smackdown
Date: September 29, 2006
Location: Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re less two weeks away from No Mercy and most of the card is set. That’s a good situation to be in as it means the next two weeks can be spent firming everything up and adding something here and there. This week is about the guest star though, as John Cena is here for a six man main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at King Booker’s Court invading Raw and making John Cena kiss Booker’s foot. Of course you know this means match.

Here’s Cena, with a banged up arm, to get things going. Before he gets into dealing with Booker and company, he is glad to be back on Smackdown because it’s like hosting Saturday Night Live. He’s the WWE Champion again and now he has a new movie coming out. Cena: “Go and see it a million times.”

Cena is glad to have the big fist and Tony Chimmel as the ring announcer. Then there’s JBL, who Cena remembers taking a beating the last time they saw him. Next to JBL is Michael Cole, the Whitney Houston to his Bobby Brown, and Cena has a gift for him. After handing Cole some balls, Cena talks about King Booker’s Court being here, but so are Batista and Bobby Lashley. Tonight, the odds are even.

Video on Vickie Guerrero joining forces with her nephew Chavo.

Rey Mysterio vs. Sylvester Terkay

Elijah Burke is here with Terkay….who tells Burke to take his place.

Rey Mysterio vs. Elijah Burke

Rey snaps off a headscissors to start as JBL goes into a rant about how Mysterio’s success in Mexico means nothing in the USA. Burke knocks him into the corner as we see the Guerreros being rather pleased in the back. That’s leg to in a hurry but Burke misses the top rope elbow. As JBL again called Terkay and Burke the best interracial team since the APA, Mysterio hits the spinning springboard crossbody to put Burke down. The 619 lets Rey Drop The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one other than Burke taking a loss that he probably didn’t need to lose. Terkay continues to be the star of the team, but that doesn’t mean his partner needs to be losing. Mysterio needed the boost on the way towards his match against Chavo at No Mercy, but I would think there is someone better to take the loss than Burke.

Post match Terkay jumps Mysterio from behind and lays him out with a Muscle Buster. We see the Guerreros seeming rather pleased in the back.

Ashley Massaro introduces a video on Brian Kendrick and Paul London.

Pit Bulls vs. KC James/Idol Stevens

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at No Mercy and Michelle McCool is here with James and Stevens. Stevens gets pounded down to start so it’s off to James to get taken into the wrong corner. A kick to the chest gets two on James as JBL gets on Cole for playing soccer. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kash’s moonsault press gets two on James. A small package has James in trouble but McCool turns it over to give James the pin.

Rating: C. Again, not much time to go anywhere but it could have been a lot worse. The problem is we’ve already seen Kendrick and London beat both teams so there is only so much interest in watching either of them get another shot. The lack of time might be annoying, but it was the right move here.

Marine video. Just have the thing come out already.

Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero

They trade some standing switches to start until Hardy drops him with a right hand. Back up and Chavo pulls Matt off the middle rope for a crash and it’s off to a seated armbar. That’s broken up as well and Matt hits some clotheslines into a backdrop. The bulldog gets two and there’s the middle rope legdrop. Vickie Guerrero gets on the apron for a distraction though, allowing Gregory Helms to come in for the real distraction. That’s enough for Chavo to grab a tornado DDT into the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Two talented guys getting to do their thing for a few minutes is almost always going to work and the interferences both made sense. Chavo is starting to feel like more of a player than Eddie’s sidekick and while I’m not sure how far up the ladder he can go, it’s nice to see someone as talented as he is finally getting a chance of his own outside of the Cruiserweight Title.

Post match, Helms hits Hardy with a Shining Wizard.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant knocked out Gorilla Monsoon in a boxing match.

Here’s Mr. Kennedy to bid farewell to Undertaker. There is a black wreath in the ring as Kennedy talks about how this is a tribute. Undertaker has taken on and beaten some of the all time greats and we see a video package on his career. All of those accolades leave him with nothing to prove though, which makes Kennedy feel bad about No Mercy. He doesn’t want to end Undertaker’s legacy, so he certainly doesn’t want to face him at Wrestlemania.

Therefore, as a man of good conscience, he cannot wrestle Undertaker at No Mercy. Cue Undertaker and, after about a five minute entrance, he promises to show no mercy and make Kennedy rest in peace. Then Kennedy goes to hit him with the microphone but it blows up in his hand to send him running.

King Booker’s Court is ready to make John Cena, Batista and Bobby Lashley hail the king tonight.

Commercial for Eric Bischoff’s Controversy Creates Cash book.

Miz vs. Tatanka

Miz sings his version of Sexy Back on the way to the ring. JBL: “I hate him.” Tatanka whips him into the corner to start but Miz gets out to the apron. A slide between the legs lets Miz hit the warpath as JBL makes every Native American joke he can think of in the first minute. Miz’s Russian legsweep gets two but Tatanka is back with his own for one. Now it’s Tatanka going on the warpath but Miz rolls him up with trunks for the fast win.

Rating: D+. The best thing about the way they are pushing Miz is he is racking up wins while not overstaying his welcome. I don’t think any of his matches have gone more than about five minutes or so and he is out there almost every week. Keep him warm, give him something to do and build him up a bit. This isn’t rocket science and what they’re doing is working well for an early stage.

Teddy Long is proud about last week’s debut being the second highest viewed show among adults on Friday night. Next week, Bobby Lashley and King Booker will pick each other’s poisons and you can find out their picks over the weekend on WWE.com.

Jimmy Wang Yang is a redneck and ready to face Sylvan.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Sylvan

Yang has the Confederate flag on his vest (JBL: “Who is he sponsored by? George Wallace?”) and comes out to I Might Have To Punch Someone Tonight. Sylvan hits him in the face to start but walks into a headscissors into a dropkick. A toss sends Sylvan out to the floor for a crash as Cole compares Yang to Dick Murdoch to needle JBL in a funny bit.

JBL: “I hate you. I hate everyone in the ring. The referee is Canadian so I hate him too.” Yang jawbreaks his way out of a chinlock and hammers away, including a spinwheel kick. Sylvan catches a charge in the corner though and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. As has been the case tonight, not much in the way of a match but at least the JBL rants were funny. Yang losing doesn’t matter in the slightest as he is nothing more than a goofy one note character who was never going to be a big star. Sylvan isn’t either, but that reaction in Montreal last week probably earned him one more win, which is fine.

Vito says it’s the man that makes the dress.

MVP has signed with Smackdown and we get clips from his signing press conference. He debuts at No Mercy.

No Mercy rundown.

King Booker/Finlay/William Regal vs. John Cena/Batista/Bobby Lashley

This does feel like a big match and we see a clip of Cena getting beaten down on Raw during the entrances. It’s a big brawl in the aisle to start before the bell and we take a break. Joined in progress with Batista shouldering Regal in the corner and nailing the spinebuster, which draws Finlay in for an early save. Booker comes in to hammer away on Batista, who is right back with the Jackhammer.

It’s off to Lashley, who gets kicked in the face by Booker. That’s fine with Lashley as he counters a leapfrog into a powerslam to plant Booker for two. Finlay comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press gutbuster but Lashley misses a charge into the post. He’s fine enough to make the tag to Cena and everything breaks down with Cena cleaning house. The STF to Booker is broken up and the Leprechaun slips Finlay the Shillelagh to hit Cena in the bad arm.

We take a break and come back with Regal working on the arm as only Regal can do. The villains take turns working on the arm until Cena suplexes Finlay away. Finlay pops back up with a clothesline though and the armbar goes on again. Another clothesline gives Finlay two and it’s back to Booker, who (after a bit of mistiming) misses the side kick to hit the ropes. Lashley gets the hot tag to clean house as everything breaks down. Batista almost gets caught with the ax kick but Lashley spears Booker down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty long match for a TV main event but it felt like it was something that mattered and that makes up for the problems. Above all else, the star power was here as you had this week’s version of the Super Best Friends against the top Smackdown villains and his cronies. That sounds like an important match and it worked out rather well, even if it was that long.

Post match Edge runs in to spear Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Cena brought the star power to the main event and that’s what mattered the most here, but the rest of the show was a bunch of quick matches (similar to this week’s Raw but not that bad). That made it feel more like a show that wasn’t designed to be a big deal on its own but rather a way to build towards the future. That’s not a bad thing, but it doesn’t make for the most thrilling show.

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Monday Night Raw – September 25, 2006: Kind Of Nice For A Change

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 25, 2006
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still starting of the new John Cena Era and that seems to include one last gasp from Edge, but I can’t imagine him sticking around in the main event scene that much longer. You also have to imagine that the McMahons are going to be back sooner rather than later, because that’s how Raw works. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

And the power is out, meaning the commentary intro is in the dark.

Lilian Garcia’s intro can’t be heard and there is no video screen or graphics.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Lita vs. Candice Michelle

Lilian’s mic is back up to announce that we’re having a Women’s Title tournament. Lita’s video is at least playing on the screen above the ring. Before the bell, Lita gets a mic and says that thanks to a private meeting with Jonathan Coachman, she gets to pick the guest referee for this match. It’s Edge and, after a rather extensive weapons shirt, he spears Candice to give Lita the pin in about thirty seconds.

Post match (and actually mid match) John Cena runs in for the save as the lights start to come back up a bit.

Back from a break with the power on and Cena talking about Edge sabotaging the lights so he wouldn’t have to face him. Edge and Lita come back out and say that there isn’t going to be a title match tonight. They are going to celebrate, sending Cena into a few jokes about Lita being….yeah I think you get the joke. Cena suggests that various parts of her are as red as the Oklahoma University end zone and says that was for JR (who gives a thumbs up. Lita: “SCREW YOU!” Cena: “I don’t have ten bucks!”

Lita is sick of Cena making fun of her when Cena is the real joke. Edge and Lita are both better wrestlers than him, which Cena says is proof that she has the testicles in the relationship. And yeah, she might be better….if he was blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back (uh oh) and wasn’t afraid of a scorching case of herpes. Edge is ready to fight right now but it’s for Lita, with Cena’s arm tied behind his back.

Footage of the Mexico tour.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Kane jumps him during the rather long entrance and a side slam lets Nitro get the fur coat off. Melina’s distraction lets Nitro hit a chop block but Kane boots him out of the air. Cue Umaga with a chair to Kane’s back for the DQ barely a minute in.

Post match Umaga destroys Kane with the running hip attack and the steps to the head.

Shawn Michaels is readying the WWE Magazine but can’t find any advertisements for DX gear. After the plug is done, Maria comes up to ask DX about their gauntlet match tonight. Maria thinks their catchphrase is NO WAY so HHH offers a demonstration, with Shawn pulling him away. Instead HHH whispers it in her ear before leaving, with Eugene replacing them. Maria whispers the same thing in Eugene’s ear and he faints.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant vs. Gorilla Monsoon in a boxing match in Puerto Rico in 1977. Monsoon’s selling of the knockout is great.

Jonathan Coachman talks to Shelton Benjamin about his claims of being held down for being a black man last week. Vince McMahon’s hero is Dr. Martin Luther King! Benjamin: “I’m kind of partial to Michael Jordan myself.” Benjamin asks Coach what he knows about being a black man in this business and says Coach is “whitewashed.”

Jeff Hardy comes up with some of the most stereotypical slang you’ll ever hear (Cryme Tyme would think it was over the top) so Coach makes a match between them tonight. Benjamin: “Thanks, brother.” The two of them leave so Edge and Lita come out of Coach’s office and the Cena vs. Lita match is made. Coach even throws in a No Holds Barred stipulation, but if Edge touches Cena, he loses hit rematch. When did Coach grow a backbone?

Ric Flair vs. Mikey

The rest of the Spirit Squad is here too. Flair takes him down to start without much effort and unloads in the corner. Mikey snaps off a dropkick and slaps Flair in the corner, earning himself various shots to the face and chest. A shot to the knee looks to set up the Figure Four but Flair has to throw Nicky onto the rest of the Squad. Flair punches Mikey down for the pin. Yeah off a right hand.

Rating: D+. This mini feud continues and I’m oddly fine with a right hand beating Mikey. No matter how you look at the them, aside from Kenny, the entire Spirit Squad is a bunch of goons who only succeed at anything because they have a numbers advantage. Losing to a right hand might be a bit much, but I don’t think Mikey getting pinned by Ric Flair is going to end him.

John Cena was on MadTV.

D-Generation X vs. ???/???/???

DX is running a three team gauntlet and dedicate it to Vince McMahon. He isn’t here though, and they have a video on the Cell to explain his absence. The Highlanders are in first and lose in about fifteen seconds to a superkick. Robbie gets Pedigreed for a bonus and it’s Charlie Haas/Viscera as the second team. HHH runs Haas over to start and Shawn comes in to chop away in the corner. It’s off to Viscera, who gets crushed with a sidewalk slam and we take a break.

Back with Haas cranking on Shawn’s arms but he fights up and sends the villains into each other. The hot tag brings in HHH to clean house and a double clothesline drops Viscera. The Pedigree to Haas lays him out and a superkick knocks Viscera onto him for the double pin. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are in as the third team and a cheap shot to Michaels’ back puts him in trouble, allowing Cade to blast him with a clothesline. Everything breaks down in a hurry with DX being sent into various hard objects. Cade grabs a chair to knock Shawn down for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The longest match we saw was the middle portion, which was cut in half by the break. I’m not sure how this was supposed to be anything more than a workout for DX, but at least they didn’t treat it as anything else. This felt more like DX needing a reason to be on the show and until a new team is built up, that’s about as all as you can do with them.

Post match HHH grabs his own chair to clear the ring.

In two weeks: Family Reunion, a three hour special. Oh…yay.

Cryme Tyme robs a guy near an ATM.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks him down to start and then does it again for a bonus. A running forearm puts Shelton down for a change but he’s back with right hands and a bit one knocks Hardy into the barricade. Back in the chinlock goes on until hardy jawbreaks his way to freedom. The Whisper in the Wind connects but Shelton jumps up to the top, only to get shoved down for the Swanton. Shelton gets a boot on the rope and grabs the rope to block the Twist of Fate. That’s fine with Jeff, who small packages him for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. I have no idea what WWE is doing with these two and the segment with Hardy earlier was a little more than uncomfortable. At the same time, Shelton finding another way to lose is never a good thing despite how many times WWE has done it. I’ve given up on the false hope of him doing anything important anytime soon, but the racial stuff could get rather bad in a hurry.

John Cena has a wife in the Marina.

Carlito/Super Crazy vs. Randy Orton/Chris Masters

Carlito takes Masters down for an early near fall and it’s off to Crazy, who is powerbombed down in a hurry. Orton comes in and slaps on a chinlock, which is broken up in a hurry for the hot tag off to Carlito. House is cleaned and everything breaks down but Masters avoids Crazy’s moonsault. With Crazy sent outside, Masters tries the Masterlock on Carlito but gets reversed into the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to this one but it gives Carlito a quick boost to help him up after the Unforgiven loss. There are only so many things that you can do when the match was so definitive but at least they’re trying. The Super Crazy push is still a little odd, though at least they’re trying something new and that’s not a terrible idea.

Post match Orton catches Carlito with the RKO to leave him laying.

Here’s Jonathan Coachman for a chat and he has a surprise: Eric Bischoff of all people, who has not been here since he was fired last year. Bischoff is happy to be back and while he isn’t thrilled with being fired, he has written a book called Controversy Creates Cash. He’s telling the truth in the book, including the fact that Raw would not exist in this form without him and there would be no DX without the NWO. And then the music plays him off because that’s a little too far.

John Cena vs. Lita

Non-title, Cena’s arm is tied behind his back and Edge is here but can’t touch Cena. Lita pokes him in the eye and gets low blowed but the FU finishes her in less than a minute.

Post match here are King Booker, Finlay and William Regal from Smackdown (where Cena will be appearing in a six man tag later this week) for the big beatdown. Finlay gets in some Shillelagh shots and Booker takes off his boot because it’s time for Cena kiss the feet. JR: “WHEN DID BOOKER GET AN ENGLISH ACCENT???” Booker sits on the ropes as the beatdown knocks Cena out and his face is put onto Booker’s bare foot. Booker twirls in the robe before leaving, so Edge grabs a mic. The rematch for the title is next week and it’s inside a cage.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird show as there was one match which broke five minutes and it was a three fall gauntlet match. I’m not sure if they were a little spent after the international tour or whatever else but I did like the show flew by with a lot of things getting some time. Granted not everything needed to get time (like that Hardy/Shelton segment) but I did like the structure they were going with here. It wouldn’t work every week, though it worked rather well for a one off change.

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Monday Night Raw – September 18, 2006: And Then We Breathe

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 18, 2006
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Unforgiven has come and gone and the big story is John Cena winning the WWE Title from Edge in a pretty good TLC match. Other than that, DX defeated the McMahons and Big Show in what felt like the big blowoff to their feud but you never can tell around here. I’m curious as to where things go as we have a long time before the next Raw pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going and the booing is on before Lilian Garcia even finishes saying his name. After smiling at the booing, Cena says this is absolute chaos. The booing cuts him off again before Cena manages to say he was hit in the head a bunch of times last night and he can’t even remember what day it. Wait. It’s becoming clear now. The champ is here.

More booing makes Cena say that he knows there is a bit of unrest in the Force but Cena has been going through a lot in recent months. Like 3000 spears, 2000 sneak attacks, 1000 shots to the head, 1000 jokes involving Lita and head, and now we’re finally done. Cue Edge and Lita, with the former saying he has a rematch clause.

Cena says he respected Edge for the fight he put up last night and, after a CENA SUCKS chant, Cena says Edge has two options. He can have a one man live sex celebration and go screw himself, or have some backbone and cash in his rematch right now. Edge says this isn’t Canada because this is Canada’s inbred cousin, Montreal. He goes into a rant about how he survived last night and never gave up like the people in this arena would do.

Edge is going to take the title back, but not here in front of these people. The fans suddenly like the idea of Cena beating Edge up but Edge snaps, talking about everything Cena took from him last night. Edge wants revenge so here are Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the beatdown, with Edge talking about how they beat up DX last week. Cue DX, with Edge leaving Cade and Murdoch to get beaten down. Coach, six man tag.

Post break, Coach has secured a room where wrestlers can send Vince McMahon well wishes after last night. Shelton Benjamin is up first and he isn’t sure why he wasn’t Vince’s partner last night. Shelton: “It’s because I’m black isn’t it?” Coach shuffles him off as Shelton asks why he can’t talk about Affirmative Action.

Umaga vs. Kane

Rematch from last night. Lawler: “I’m surprised they’re not still fighting. Well they’re going to be still fighting!” Umaga wastes no time in suplexing him down but the referee intercepts a chair from Armando Alejandro Estrada. The referee gets crushed so Umaga uses the chair for two on Kane as a second referee comes in. We take a break and come back with Umaga hitting a Samoa drop but Kane hits a flying shoulder. Umaga’s throat is snapped across the top rope but he knocks a chair out of Kane’s hands this time. Kane avoids a charge though and hits a top rope clothesline. That’s not enough so Kane chairs him in the head for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was better than last night as Kane put up a much better fight rather than getting beaten up for most of the match. They’re likely setting up some kind of a gimmick match down the line, but I’d assume it is going to be on a big Raw rather than the next pay per view. I’m not sure I can imagine this feud having the legs to go two more months but they have surprised me before.

Post match Kane hits him two more times to finally put Umaga down. Kane kidnaps Estrada and takes him to the back.

Post break, Kane is ready to do something with a large spike but Umaga makes the save. Umaga and Estrada leave, allowing Kane to do what he does when villains leave him alone.

Maria things Vince is Jim McMahon, former Chicago Bears quarterback. Cue the Spirit Squad with the air horn to challenge Ric Flair to a match and cheer for Vince.

Ric Flair vs. Johnny

The rest of the Squad stays on the stage for a change. Johnny hammers away in the corner to start but gets chopped against the ropes for his efforts. They go outside with Johnny managing a backdrop and hammering away back inside. That means more chops and a chop block to Flair for a change, setting up the Figure Four. Naturally Flair knows how to get out of that in a hurry and hits his own chop block. Flair tries the Figure Four but gets reversed into a small package, which is reversed into another small package to give Flair the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t meant to be anything but they might be setting up something bigger in the future. Flair beating one of the members of the Spirit Squad isn’t going to hurt them so this isn’t exactly worth being annoyed over. At least they got in and out in a hurry, because there wasn’t much of a need to do anything more than this.

Lita wants to talk to Vince about the Women’s Title but here’s Mickie James to come in and makes jokes about Lita’s prowess with men. A slap ensues and odds are we’ll revisit this later.

We recap the brawl to set up the main event.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. Orton says that last night was rough, because he needed stitches in his mouth but still won his match. He is the future of WWE….but here are Johnny Nitro and Melina to interrupt. Nitro calls himself the future of the industry and he has a message for everyone who finds him boring, and he holds up the title. It’s not like Orton has a title of his own, and that’s because Orton has been coasting on his title for years. Orton says he can take the title and Melina anytime he wants.

Cue Chris Masters to say he should be the Intercontinental Champion because no one breaks the Masterlock. Nitro and Orton break up laughing because Masters has lost two weeks in a row to “a guy who should be busing tables.” Cue Carlito to say Orton did win last night and the brawl is on. Super Crazy and then Jeff Hardy run in to join the brawl so Coach makes a Six Pack Challenge for the title. Nitro panics.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy vs. Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Nitro is defending and it’s one fall to a finish with no tags. Joined in progress with everyone brawling in the corners and a few near falls without much drama. Crazy breaks up Nitro’s cover on Hardy and the rapid fire saves begin. Carlito hits a springboard moonsault to Masters for two with Nitro making a save.

Nitro gets knocked down and we hit probably the fifteenth cover in about three minutes with several saves being made. Everyone but Crazy goes to the floor but Nitro pulls him outside and tries a big dive, only to get caught. Crazy hits his own big moonsault to the floor and we take a break.

Back with everyone brawling some more and even more near falls. Carlito hammers on Nitro in the corner but hits a spinning crossbody for two on Orton. There’s a Downward Spiral to give Carlito two on Nitro but Jeff starts to clean house. Orton, Hardy and Nitro are left alone in the ring and we hit the parade of finishers. Hardy shoves Crazy off the top and nails the Swanton on Masters but Nitro steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how to rate this as there wasn’t much of a flow to it as the whole thing was built around one near fall after another. There were probably two dozen covers that were shown, not even including the stuff that probably took place during the break. It did do a nice job of building up the drama though and that’s a nice way to make Nitro look like a bigger deal, even if he just stole the pin to retain.

Smackdown Rebound.

Cryme Tyme steals a guy’s van after he dares to ask them for directions to the country club.

Coach is ready for some more messages to Vince but DX comes in. They talk about having Stockholm Syndrome but they’re glad it’s over. We get a video on the feud, focusing on Vince being humiliated. DX is sprayed on the camera to wrap things up.

Candice Michelle vs. Lita

Lita sends her into the corner to start as the fans REALLY don’t like Lita so far. Candice comes back with some bad right hands and Lita is knocked outside. That earns Candice a trip to the floor and a ram into the apron, meaning Lita can smile a lot as they head inside again. The chinlock goes on and Lita cuts off the comeback by pulling her down by the hair. There’s a Russian legsweep for two and Lita shoves her in the face a few times. The moonsault is loaded up but here’s Mickie James for a distraction, allowing Candice to hit a powerbomb out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here but I think you know where they’re going for the next big (work with me here) women’s feud. The women’s division is already feeling the lack of Trish Stratus, as you can only do so much with a division that only has about three members and then one of them leaves. Candice is a long way off from being ready to take a top spot, but she seems a bit further along than a few others.

Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch remind Edge that they are fresh after last night and are ready for the main event. Edge likes that kind of thinking.

Edge/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. John Cena/D-Generation X

Lita is here too. The brawl is on in a hurry with the bad guys being cleared out without much effort. We settle down to Cena shouldering Cade down and mocking Edge on the apron. Shawn comes in but gets caught with an atomic drop from Cade and a running big boot from Murdoch to take over.

The chops don’t do Shawn much good as Murdoch runs him over for another near fall. Edge comes in to grab the chinlock and Murdoch adds a big elbow for two. The front facelock doesn’t last long and the hot tag brings in HHH to clean house. Everything breaks down and HHH cuts off Edge’s chair shot with a spinebuster. Shawn picks up the chair and cleans house for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Totally run of the mill main event six man tag with a bit of a surprise ending. The wrestling was fine and the ending gives us a reason to come back to more of this later on. I’m not sure where that leads, but a mini feud of some sort between these guys could give us a nice bridge towards the October pay per view.

Post match Cade and Murdoch are cleared out so Edge gets beaten up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was just a placeholder show after the pretty big pay per view. There was no reason to do anything more than an easy night here as Raw has spent the last month or so setting everything up for Unforgiven so this worked as well as anything else. Nothing you needed to see, but at least it worked out well enough.

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