IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 19, 2005
Location: Tyson Events Center, Sioux City, Iowa
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and most of the card has been set. We could be in for a good show on Sunday with the two biggest matches looking solid, though there isn’t much underneath them. I’m not sure what to expect from this week’s show but I don’t exactly have my hopes up outside of Eddie Guerrero’s rapid fire loss of sanity. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Kurt Angle invading Sharmell’s dressing room last week and attacking Booker T. who failed in a rescue attempt. Cole asking what Angle did to Sharmell behind closed doors doesn’t bode well.

Opening sequence.

It’s Carlito’s Cabana to get things going. Carlito recaps last week’s edition, including Big Show turning down his offer and eating a poison apple as a result. Back in the arena, Carlito talks about having trouble getting the stains out of the Cabana’s carpet. Now though, Big Show has challenged him to a match on Sunday, which Carlito has accepted.

However, he isn’t coming into the match alone because he has a new bodyguard: Matt Morgan. Cue Morgan, who stutters so much that he can’t really say yes. Carlito: “You want some water?” The joke is so funny that he tries three times before going with a simple ok. So yes, he’s officially Porky Pig. Anyway here’s Big Show for the brawl but Morgan chairs him down and gets out with Carlito.

JBL goes to the inner city to explain to some kids why John Cena, and various rappers, are all about. Rappers belong in jail because they are thugs, just like Cena. JBL lists off some lyrics, which even approve of premarital sex. JBL is taking the title on Sunday and helping America.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

JBL kicks him in the face at the bell and drops the elbows. A swinging neckbreaker gets two but JBL charges into a boot in the corner. Scotty hits a superkick but JBL bounces off the ropes with the Clothesline. That’s not enough for JBL so he hammers away in the corner and that’s a DQ.

Post match JBL says he doesn’t care because nothing can stop him in three days. For tonight though, Scotty has the chance to quit but refuses to, meaning JBL punches him even more. JBL finds a belt and whips Scotty on the announcers’ table, eventually choking Scotty into saying he quits.

John Cena threw out the first pitch at a Red Sox game.

Booker yells at Theodore Long about what Angle did last week. There won’t be a match with Angle tonight though because he has been banned from the building. Instead, Booker can face Mark Jindrak, but that isn’t cool with him. Angle will apologize tonight, but that’s not enough for Booker.

Post break, Jindrak comes up to Sharmell and talks about Angle having a fetish for…..you know…..gutter sl***. This turns into an argument over whether or not Jindrak thinks she is one, so here’s Booker (who is rather lax about his wife being alone after last week) to beat him up. Booker knocks him into the arena and busts Jindrak open….as the match is starting now.

Booker T. vs. Mark Jindrak

Booker hammers away in the corner and hits the scissors kick. The referee tries to pull Booker off, allowing Jindrak to get in the big left hand. That’s enough for Booker, who comes back with the Book End and the ax kick for the pin.

JBL tells the Bashams to beat up John Cena tonight and promises to be out there with them. Long comes in and says he can’t get involved with the threat of a fine. Short, to the point, explained the situation. Why is that so hard to do so often?

Video on the awesome Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio feud. Eddie’s face and eyes last week were outstanding.

Here’s Eddie, still carrying Rey’s mask, for a chat. It takes a little time for Eddie to say anything so he stares at the mask, throws it down and stomps on it. He leaves without saying anything in another good segment.

Clips from the Judgment Day press conference.

Heidenreich vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title and COME ON ALREADY. Hang on though as Heidenreich has to find a new friend. His quest includes a song and a quick dance, which is more charming than it should be. Jordan says hang on because you don’t keep the champ waiting. No one likes Heidenreich and after he loses, no one will want to be his friend.

Jordan stomps away and hits a clothesline to start, followed by a knee to the head. The hammering continues as Heidenreich pulls himself up, only to get stomped back down. We hit the chinlock until Jordan lets go to shout about it, allowing Heidenreich to get up and do his fist pump dance. A big boot gives Heidenreich two so Jordan pounds him down again. That’s about it though as Jordan charges straight into the Boss Man Slam for the fast pin.

Rating: D-. This one is bad just due to the people involved, though Heidenreich is FAR better in this role and the march could have gone somewhere in the long term. He just needed to stop being so serious and have his wrestling time cut down by about 80% and things get a little better. Why was that so complicated?

We look at Angle vs. Booker/Sharmell over the last few weeks.

Judgment Day rundown.

Joey Mercury vs. Hardcore Holly

Half of Sunday’s title match so Johnny Nitro and Charlie Haas are here too. Mercury hiptosses him down a few times to start so Holly goes with the chops in the corner. A neckbreaker (complete with a camera motion) gives Mercury two and we hit the neck crank. Mercury lets that go and gets crotched on top, setting up the top rope superplex. The backdrop into the dropkick sets up a full nelson slam but Holly won’t cover. Instead it’s a top rope clothesline for two and the Alabama Slam for the clean pin to put Mercury away.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of win that you need to give Holly from time to time and before the title match made it even better. The team has no chance of winning the titles on Sunday so giving them a win could help a little bit. I mean, it can only get so far but it’s better than not trying.

Raw Rebound.

Nelly thinks Cena is a talented rapper.

Kurt Angle is at WWE Studios in Connecticut where he has to give an apology to the fans, Booker and Sharmell. Last week was a mistake but you have to understand. He was on fire after Wrestlemania and it should have been a formality before he was WWE Champion again. Booker stopped that so Angle needed to get revenge but he went too far. So yeah he’s sorry.

Now that they have what they’ve wanted, it’s about what he wants. Angle wants Sharmell to admit that she is a gutter sl**, because he saw proof last week. He and Sharmell kissed last week when the door closed and she liked it. Sharmell molested and fondled him….and they both loved it. This Sunday, Angle is going to make Booker scream for a different reason. Then after dominating Booker, he’ll dominate Sharmell and show her how to do a real Spinarooni.

Booker superkicks a TV with Angle’s face on it. That promo was so uncomfortable that it damaged a television.

John Cena is reading JBL’s financial book, which includes chapters on diversifying your portfolio, making Orlando Jordan’s hair stand up (Cena: “THERE’S A PICTURE!”) and how to say I Quit when John Cena is beating you up. Cena says he isn’t a wrestling god but he is…..Josh Matthews: “A prophet! A street prophet!” Cena takes the mic and sends Josh away, saying it was as sad as JBL’s sex life. See, Cena can respect JBL for his success but on the streets, you never quit, and Cena won’t quit on the people.

John Cena vs. Bashams

Non-title and JBL is at ringside. Cena takes over on Doug to start by grabbing a headlock and running him over. Danny comes in but Cena is smart enough to bail to the floor before some cheating can ensue. Things settle back down with Doug hammering away but getting taken into the corner for choking from Danny and yelling from JBL. Another knockdown sets up the chinlock so JBL grabs the mic and demands that Cena quit.

Doug gets in a cheap shot to cut Cena down again and more JBL shouting ensues. A belly to back suplex gives Danny two but Cena fights up and grabs the rope to block a DDT attempt. JBL shouts more and more as some suplexes put Cena down. Cena blocks a double version though and slugs away, setting up the ProtoBomb on Doug. The FU finishes Doug for the pin after a bit more sweat than you would expect.

Rating: D+. JBL’s shouting was annoying but it was also the only thing that mattered int the match. The Bashams were nothing more than lackeys here and that’s a good role for them. The match wasn’t anything of note because it wasn’t like there were many options other than this or JBL running in for the DQ. Not a good match, but it was fine for a short form build.

Cena stares JBL down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show built around the stories and the good outweighs the bad 2-1 with Eddie being incredible, the battle of the John’s being better than expected and Booker vs. Angle just being creepy. The wrestling wasn’t great though as a Hardcore Holly match and a Heidenreich match is a little too much. It made me want to see Judgment Day more than I did earlier though so they’re going in the right direction. Just do more of the good and less of the bad, which is pretty much a universal rule.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 12, 2005
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re on our way to Judgment Day and that means we should be in for Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Most of the time you have to worry about how the big match is going to go but how bad can a Mysterio vs. Guerrero match go? Other than that, we continue the build to John Cena vs. JBL II. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rey vs. Eddie, with the latter attacking Rey again last week. Chavo Guerrero seems to be causing all of this, which adds another layer.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie, on foot and debuting Can You Feel The Heat as his new theme music. He grabs a chair and has a seat, plus a spotlight for a bonus. Everyone has been asking why he took Rey out last week and it’s simple: he was giving Rey what he wanted. He pulls out Rey’s mask and shouts DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES HIM HAPPY??? It’s Rey’s fault and what else could he have expected Eddie to do?

Rey drove him to this, plus all of these people. The fans have been living off of his Latino Heat but he got it all back last week. Eddie likes feeling like this and grabs the camera, demanding that it listen to him. He tells Rey to think about his son and daughter, because Eddie is about to hurt their papa. Rey has been talking about returning at Judgment Day, but Eddie advises against it. Right now, Eddie has his blood on his hands and if Rey comes back, Eddie will have his life.

This was GREAT and one of the best things WWE has done in a long time. It’s an excellent example of things only making sense to the heel, who is the only one that needs to understand what is going on. Eddie sees things differently and has been driven to everything he’s done by his jealousy. Yeah it was an extreme response, but it was everyone else’s fault because he hadn’t done anything wrong. Eddie sold the heck out of it too and looked crazed and angry, which is a rather dangerous combination. Excellent stuff here.

Heidenreich vs. Spike Dudley

This however is not likely to be excellent. Before the match, Heidenreich talks about asking Spike to be his friend but Spike said no. Heidenreich knows he can find a friend here and picks a kid out of the crowd. The kid, Jordan, would like to hear one of Heidenreich’s Disasterpieces, which is about looking for friends before he fights. Jordan gets to be in Heidenreich’s corner as Spike beats Heidenreich up in another corner.

Spike even comes outside to yell at Jordan so Heidenreich makes the save and finishes with a Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich still isn’t any good but if you have him as something goofy like this, he’s a lot less annoying. This is the last Spike match we’ll be seeing and he would be pretty much out of the mainstream wrestling scene in about two years. For someone his size, he had quite a nice career and that’s pretty impressive.

Sharmell comes in to see Booker, who gives her a kiss and a spank. They wind up on a couch and laughter ensues.

Chavo talks to MNM about Eddie being so vicious lately. There’s a six man tag later and Paul London is looking for partners. Chavo approves of this new partnership.

We look back at Kurt Angle chasing Sharmell last week and nearly putting her in the ankle lock.

Angle says that Sharmell started it by slapping him first. He wouldn’t have done anything to her because he doesn’t hurt women. No, Angle makes them feel very good. Everyone has vices and his happens to be “gutter sl***s like Booker T.’s wife.” Angle knows he probably has some psychological disorder but he needs to say something.

Angle: “Booker, I want to have sex with your wife. And I’m not just talking any kind of sex with your wife. I’m talking, you know, that kind of bestiality sex with your wife. That kind of perverted sex.” The fans rightfully boo this out of the building because WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? I mean I know it’s Vince (or maybe Angle) but what could have been a good feud just went flying off a cliff and bounced all the way down.

MNM/Chavo Guerrero vs. Paul London/Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

London works on Nitro’s arm to start and it’s quickly off to Charlie to stay on said arm. A shoulder breaker and a middle rope knee to the shoulder keeps Nitro down as everything breaks down for a bit. Mercury gets in a cheap shot to take over on Haas and Chavo comes in for a belly to back suplex. Haas fights up without too much trouble and dives over for the hot tag off to Holly. London comes in with a double high crossbody and a hurricanrana to Chavo as everything breaks down again. Chavo can’t get the Gory Bomb on London but he can get a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here and that’s all you could expect in something like this. The Cruiserweight Title is rather worthless but that has to be expected. Chavo is a good choice for a heel but he has been around the thing for a long time now and we need something fresh. It isn’t a good combination for a not great match and a boring story and that’s what we had here.

John Cena had an autograph signing for his CD.

Here is JBL for a chat. He plugs the re-release of his financial book, which is receiving the best reviews since the Bible. You can find it in bookstores and online, but you won’t see it with a parental advisory, which Cena’s CD has. Cena is a bad example and role model, along with being a bad champion. JBL talks about everything he’s been through in the last years but he has never quit. Those words never came across his mind and at Judgment Day, he is busting Cena open and making him quit.

JBL will find out that Cena is who he says he is and that is a wrestling god. Throughout the world, the fans will be chanting his name….and here’s Cena to interrupt. The fight is on but the Cabinet comes in to take Cena apart. Of all people, Funaki, Nunzio and Shannon Moore come out for the save. With that being his best hope, Cena fights up himself as the locker room comes out to keep them apart. The fight breaks out again and gets broken up just as fast as Cena is rather pleased with the whole thing.

Post break, here’s everything you just saw.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Jimmy Jacobs

Another one of those future names who means nothing at the moment. Eddie kicks away and elbows him in the face to start but stops to yell at Mysterio’s mask on the post. He even puts the mask on Jacobs and hammers away before tossing him outside as the dominance continues. Back in and Eddie grabs a chair, thinks about it with a crazed look on his face, and hits Jacobs with a brainbuster onto the chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the wrestling but rather just showing how crazy Eddie has gone over the last few weeks. The hyper intense Eddie is a very fresh twist for him and it’s making things more interesting. It helps when you have someone who can perform at this kind of a level. Not a good match, but very good character stuff.

Post match Eddie yells at the mask, saying Rey better not show up.

Judgment Day rundown.

Cole and Tazz talk about Cena’s music video.

And now, Cena’s music video.

Matt Morgan vs. Funaki

Before the match, Morgan talks about how people make fun of the way Funaki talks while stuttering heavily. SEE, IT’S FUNNY! A big boot knocks Funaki silly and another shot to the head knocks him out. The suplex into the Rock Bottom finishes Funaki in a hurry.

Raw Rebound.

Booker tells Sharmell to stay in the back tonight. That does not bode well.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana and his guest this week is the Big Show. Carlito gets straight to the point: he wants Show to be his bodyguard. Show: “You want me to play second banana to you?” Carlito: “No…..we don’t do bananas here…..we do apples.” Carlito shows us some stills of Big Show in the sumo match at Wrestlemania, which was embarrassing. They could be unstoppable together, but Show says he needs Carlito as much as he needs a bigger shoe size.

Carlito grabs the apple but Show grabs him by the throat and eats the apple. Before the chokeslam goes through, Show hunches over and grabs his stomach. He can’t get up and Carlito says that it can only take one bad apple to spoil the bunch and Show just ate that apple. Carlito pours the apples over him and leaves Show laying. That’s some very lucky foresight from Carlito, though I don’t know how much we can expect from the match.

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

No Sharmell and Booker is rightfully ticked. Booker wastes no time in hammering Angle down and stomping away in the corner. Angle’s right hands don’t work very well so Booker heads outside for a chair. When the referee cuts that off, Booker gets sent into the steps and it’s time for some American stomping back inside.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Booker is right back with the side kick and right hands to the head. Angle manages to pull the trunks to send him shoulder first into the post and there’s the Angle Slam. With Booker down, Angle runs off to the back. Booker follows and the match is a double countout somewhere in there.

Rating: C-. Much like the Eddie match, the wrestling wasn’t the point here as the match was just a means to an end. The Angle/Sharmell stuff is much more creepy than anything else and while I can get the idea behind it, there comes a point where it isn’t a good story anymore as much as it is disturbing. That promo earlier took it to the latter and that’s not a good thing.

In the back, Angle goes into Sharmell’s locker room and shuts the door as screaming is heard. Booker runs in and gets jumped by Angle as Sharmell keeps screaming. Angle: “Come on Booker. You want some? Cause I want your wife!”Angle rams him head first into a locker and leaves as Sharmell screams even more to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show where the angles were a lot more important than the show and that’s not a bad thing. Most of the stories were good enough with Eddie being outstanding, JBL vs. Cena being quite good and Angle vs. Booker….well Eddie was great. The wrestling didn’t play a big part here but we can do that once we get to the pay per view. Not a good shot, but check out that Eddie stuff as it’s getting to be a major treat.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 5, 2005
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re into the build towards the yet to be named pay per view now, as John Bradshaw Layfield is the new #1 contender to the Smackdown World Title. The more interesting story at the moment though is Eddie Guerrero completely turning on Rey Mysterio last week, which is not likely to go well for either of them. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eddie promising that he and Rey are fine, only to turn on Rey last week after Rey accidentally knocked him off of the apron during a tag match. Eddie’s emotionless face is great.

Here’s Rey for a chat. Rey has to hand it to Eddie because he’s a heck of a liar. Eddie even had Rey believing that they were family but Rey isn’t going to be his fool anymore. Rey wants to fight right now so here’s Eddie to no music. The fans are all over Eddie, which is all the more impressive given how beloved he was just a few months ago. He has nothing to say to Rey, which isn’t what Mysterio wanted to hear.

Post break Rey demands that Theodore Long give him a match with Eddie. Long says that’s easier said than done so here’s Chavo Guerrero to say Rey will never be a Guerrero. The fight is on and Long screams for security.

Matt Morgan vs. Robbie Eckos

Before the match, Morgan stutters about being unstoppable and promises to make Eckos disappear. A headbutt sends Robbie into the corner and it’s the suplex into the Rock Bottom for the pin in a hurry. Exactly what it should have been after the pre-match promo, which is exactly what it should not have been.

Rey vs. Chavo in a street fight is set for later.

We see the same look at John Cena’s music video that we saw last week.

We look back at JBL becoming #1 contender last week.

Sharmell fires Booker T. up backstage.

Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T.

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Booker hitting him in the face and chest a few times. A clothesline puts Booker on the floor though and a posting makes it even worse. Back in and Booker breaks out of a chinlock in a hurry but gets rolled up for two with Jordan’s feet on the ropes. Booker hits the running forearm and a missile dropkick sets up the side kick. The ax kick finishes Jordan clean.

Rating: D. Normally I would get annoyed at a champion losing clean but Jordan has been presented as nothing more than a punching bag for weeks so it’s hard to get overly annoyed. I have no reason to believe this will lead to Booker going after the title, but it’s not like it has any value since Jordan won the thing.

Sharmell is happy in the back when Kurt Angle comes up. He says Booker should be arrested for grand larceny after last week. Angle wants Booker at Judgment Day and Sharmell needs to be at ringside to hear Booker’s screams as his ankle is broken.

MNM vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Shannon Moore

Non-title and Tazz is already reaching near Jerry Lawler levels of creepy about Melina’s entrance. Mercury takes Scotty into the corner to start but it’s a blind tag from Shannon so Scotty can dance a bit. Everything breaks down for a bit and a double clothesline puts Mercury on the floor. That leaves Nitro to knee Shannon in the head so the champ can take over in the corner.

Nitro and Moore both try crossbodies at the same time and it’s a double knockdown. Mercury knocks Shannon into the corner though and it’s off to Scotty to not much of a reaction. House is cleaned for a bit and most of the Worm is loaded up, only to have Melina get on the apron and show off some leg. The elevated DDT (now dubbed the Snapshot) finishes the distracted Scotty.

Rating: D+. They were doing better than you might have expected for what looked to be a squash on paper. Scotty and Shannon weren’t going to be any threat to beat the new champs here but at least we got a surprising little match out of it. There aren’t any major teams to go after the titles at the moment but at least MNM is rather awesome.

Post match Mysterio runs in with a lead pipe to chase everyone off.

Here’s JBL for a chat even though it was John Cena’s scheduled time. JBL talks about how we need him as champ because no one here would have survived what he’s been through since Wrestlemania. The people have a long history of quitting, whether it be from school or your jobs.

JBL had to go through a bunch of people to get back to the title match and he did it like Moses going through the Red Sea. Now only Cena is left and he is a one hit wonder. Cena is the Buster Douglas of wrestling and after Judgment Day, he will be nothing but a footnote.

Cue a serious Cena with JBL telling him to get his fifteen minutes of fame. Cena agrees that JBL isn’t a quitter but he rides around with a lot of oily men called the Cabinet. He and Michael Cole are “just friends” but he’s not a quitter. Cena isn’t a quitter either, which is why they’re having an I Quit match at Judgment Day. Cena explains the match and promises to make JBL quit before Cena beats him into unconsciousness. This was the fired up Cena and it worked as well as ever.

Chavo is talking to MNM.

Here’s a ticked off Kurt Angle for the Invitational but he’s in no mood for this and throws the jobber out of the ring. Actually he changes his mind and beats the kid up anyway. Angle wants Booker to answer his challenge so here are Booker and Sharmell to answer. The match is on so Angle promises to break his ankle and make Booker go home with that “gutter sl**.”

The beating is on in a hurry and Sharmell even gets in a slap. Actually several of them but Angle gets in a low blow and the Slam. It would seem to be ankle lock time but Angle looks at Sharmell instead. She trips running up the aisle so Angle goes into stalker mode. Cue referees to break it up and Booker chases Angle off. I don’t see this one going well.

Video on the European tour.

Chavo comes in to tell Eddie about how much he admires him. Eddie put friendship and loyalty over anger when Rey slapped him so tonight Chavo will get revenge for the whole family. Eddie still doesn’t say anything.

Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito

Carlito hits one heck of a chop in the corner to start but Holly hits some far weaker ones of his own. The hanging kick to the ribs and a clothesline get two but Carlito knocks him back down. The neck crank doesn’t last long and neither does the ensuing sleeper. Holly gets two off a full nelson slam and tries a suplex but Carlito reverses into a backslide with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. Carlito continues to be nothing worth seeing in the ring and it’s not like Hardcore Holly is the kind of guy to get a good match out of him. It’s smart to put Carlito in the ring at least a little bit, but he needs the right kind of opponent to make him look good and Holly doesn’t fit that mold.

Post match, Carlito announces the Big Show as his guest on the Cabana next week, where he’ll give Big Show a special offer. Ok then.

Long introduces Cena’s music video for Bad Bad Man, which is very 80s.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Street fight. Mysterio brings the pipe to the ring so Chavo bails. For some reason Rey puts it down, allowing Chavo to dropkick the knee out and take over to start. Rey kicks him into the corner and hits a baseball slide low blow, setting up a split legged moonsault for two. The basement dropkick gets the same and a springboard hurricanrana sends Chavo tot he floor.

Rey’s slingshot dive completely misses though and it’s time for a chair. Chavo takes a bit too long though and gets his leg kicked out so Rey goes up top. That doesn’t work well either as Chavo dropkicks him out of the air and tosses Rey stomach first to the floor. We haven’t gotten very hardcore yet so here’s a ladder to make up for lost time. Rey avoids being launched into the ladder though as he catches himself in the air and moonsaults down onto Chavo in a cool spot.

Back in and Rey headscissors him shoulder first into the post. The chair is opened up and Chavo is fine enough to send Rey face first into the steel. The Gory Bomb gives Chavo two so here’s MNM to hold up the ladder. Rey dropkicks it into their faces but walks into a faceplant for two more. Back up and Rey knocks him into the chair, setting up the springboard seated senton to knock Chavo right back out of the chair for the pin.

Rating: C+. They only played into the street fight stuff a little bit here, though Rey vs. Chavo is almost always a good match. MNM didn’t really need to be out there but they did make things a bit more interesting and it plays into what happened last week and earlier tonight. It’s a good main event, though it’s just part of the much bigger story going on.

Post match the triple teaming is on but here’s Eddie for the save. With MNM and Chavo gone, Eddie stares at Rey….and beats the heck out of him, including sending him head first into the post. He even rips the mask open to show the busted forehead. A suplex onto the steps leaves Rey laying as the fans are scared to end the show. This was really effective with Eddie looking completely evil and teasing the fans with Eddie making the save before stabbing Rey in the back again.

Overall Rating: B-. The big stories were all on fire here with Eddie vs. Rey being a big standout and Cena vs. JBL having a logical next step. Angle vs. Booker could go a variety of ways but what we got so far seemed that we might be in for some rather uncomfortable moments. Some of the bad stuff on here went by rather quickly and the additional Eddie vs. Rey stuff more than made up for it. Good show, though there are still areas they need to fix.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 28, 2005
Location: NEC Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re still over in England and this time around we’ll be seeing a four way elimination match to determine the first challenger for John Cena’s Smackdown World Title. There is a good chance that match is going to be getting a lot of the TV time, though I’m hoping we get some time on Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Carlito to open things up with Carlito’s Cabana. Carlito goes over some British food stereotypes and wants to spit apple in the Queen’s face. See, England is NOT cool because they have not yet discovered cool. We get a picture of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip, who must not be cool.

That brings him to his guest: Kurt Angle, who immediately agrees with Carlito’s take on England. There really is nothing cool around here, like making Shawn Michaels tap at Wrestlemania or beating Eddie Guerrero a few weeks ago. That’s cool, but what is REALLY cool is winning the four way tonight and going on to become a five time WWE Champion. This brings out a rather muscular British wrestler to interrupt and Angle isn’t happy.

The guy introduces himself as Steve Lewington, who wants to take part in the Kurt Angle Invitational. That isn’t happening, but Angle throws in a bad British accent to say no in a better way. Angle sends him away and jumps him from behind, which is the American way. He promises to become #1 contender tonight….and Lewington jumps him from behind. A low blow cuts Lewington off though and the Angle Slam/ankle lock make it even worse. Carlito adds an apple spit. This felt like filler, which can be a problem on the British shows.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Paul London

London is defending and Torrie Wilson is guest ring announcer for obvious reasons. London’s head was stapled together a few weeks ago so Chavo sends him face first into the buckle in a smart move. A few more shots to the head don’t do much good so London hits a rolling kick to the face, followed by a dropsault for two. London goes up top but gets shoved off, sending him ribs first into the turnbuckle and out to the floor. That’s quite the crash and it’s enough for the countout.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it should set up a rematch for the title down the line. Chavo has a reasonable complaint about losing the title in a battle royal so giving him a few matches against London is a good idea. What might not be a good idea is having your champion lose like this when he isn’t the most established star in the first place.

Post match Chavo celebrates with the title but Torrie says she has been informed that a championship cannot change hands on a countout. Is there reason to believe that she knew that before he told him? Chavo lets out some frustrations with a Gory Bomb.

We recap the issues between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero, which included them losing the Tag Team Titles last week.

The Daily Star Girls are here….and that’s it.

Sharmell is firing Booker T. up when Heidenreich shows up. Booker gets in his face….but Heidenreich just wants to read a poem about the four way. Sharmell can dig the poem, which has Booker winning. Heidenreich is happy because he made two friends tonight. They really still see potential in this poetry gimmick?

Eddie comes in to see Rey to try and bury the hatchet. As Eddie talks about being a bad partner lately, Chavo comes in to say he’s going to win the Cruiserweight Title soon. If the two of them play their cards right, they could be champions again. Eddie doesn’t like this line of thinking and says everyone is just like Chavo: jealous of the relationship Eddie and Rey have. He and Rey are family, but Chavo doesn’t buy that because Rey is no Guerrero.

Eddie says Rey has been more of a brother than his own blood and is there for him every time. Eddie asks if Rey is his family and Rey cuts off Chavo for interfering. Chavo isn’t part of this and needs to leave. Chavo leaves and Rey agrees that they are great friends and partners. Yeah Eddie may not be all there mentally sometimes but that’s the case with everyone. His heart is in it though and that’s what counts now and forever. It’s time to go win some titles. Awesome stuff here, as has been the case with almost everything Eddie and Rey have been doing.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Rey are challenging. It’s Nitro in trouble early as both Eddie and Rey get in a few shots to the face. Nitro sends Eddie to the apron, allowing Mercury to pull him down to the floor and then post him for a bonus. As the fans whistle at Melina, the champs start keeping Guerrero down in the corner like a good team should. Eddie gets up without much trouble and drives over for the tag to Rey, who springboards in as only he can. He also accidentally runs into Eddie as only he can, though a springboard moonsault is still good enough for two on Mercury.

A hurricanrana looks to set up the 619 on Mercury as Eddie is walking out. One heck of a powerbomb plants Mysterio as Eddie is watching on the Titantron. Eddie eventually comes back and gets on the apron as we take a break. Back with Rey in trouble, including Nitro’s breakdancing legdrop connecting for two.

We hit the waistlock as Eddie is looking annoyed on the apron. Nitro switches to a reverse chinlock until Rey kicks him off, only to have Eddie look like he’s sitting through a seminar on proper handwashing technique. Eddie won’t reach his hand out when Rey gets over so Mercury pulls him away and drops an elbow to the back. The assisted elevated DDT plants Rey to retain the titles.

Rating: C. This worked very well from a storytelling perspective though not so much from a wrestling perspective. That wasn’t the point here though and the big angle was quite good as an enhanced version of how Strike Force split back at Wrestlemania V. It was very well done and it’s likely to keep being awesome.

Post match MNM destroys Rey and posts him as Eddie just stands there watching from the apron. He slowly walks away as Rey screams for him to come back in one of the best moments they’ve done in a long time.

Post break we recap the whole thing, which isn’t as effective with Cole calling every step of it.

John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Before Cena comes out, Rene talks about being a REAL European athlete because he’s from France. Dupree starts fast and even gets in a spinebuster for some right hands. We hit the reverse chinlock again before a kick to the back sets up a second version. Cena finally realizes how boring this is and finishes with the usual in a hurry.

Rating: D. This was rather boring despite barely breaking three minutes. Cena vs. Dupree has been done so many times and it isn’t made better by the fact that Dupree has never felt like a threat to him. I had almost forgotten that Dupree was even a thing at this point and that might be better for everyone.

Matt Morgan vs. Mikey Whiplash

Whiplash would go on to become a name in British wrestling. Morgan gets to stutter about how he stutters. Who in the world looked at someone like Morgan and thought STUTTERING was the right way to go? Morgan blasts him in the face for what he thought was laughter and generally mauls him for a bit before finishing with the suplex into the hard Rock Bottom for the pin in a hurry.

JBL, still with the classic title belt, says it doesn’t matter where we are, because the fans still want to chant his name. Big Show comes in to say JBL says the same thing every week. No matter what he says, JBL is on a losing streak (no he isn’t) and tonight it’s going to continue (no it isn’t).

We go behind the scenes of John Cena’s music video (for Bad Bad Man with all of it’s 80s greatness), complete with Christina Aguliera showing up and sounding rather uninterested. The video premieres next week.

Booker T. vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Elimination rules for the #1 contendership and Orlando Jordan is here with JBL. Angle already has the straps down so you know this is serious. The brawl is on in a hurry to start with Show cleaning house, even knocking away a German suplex attempt. A legdrop crushes JBL and sends Booker flying off a toss. Show crushes all three of them in the corner but Angle pops out with an Angle Slam for one.

Booker adds the ax kick for two and the Clothesline From JBL gets the same. They knock Show outside for the huge Angle Slam through the table….and a countout for the elimination. In a four way? That’s a creative way to get rid of him, even if it goes against the general rules of the match. We take a break and come back with Booker fighting out of the corner but crotching himself off a missed sidekick.

A whip into the steps slows JBL down and Angle suplexes Booker for two. JBL comes back in and walks into a Book End for two but Angle is right back with the rolling German suplexes for the same on Booker. Neither the Angle Slam or the Book End can connect so Angle picks the ankle. That’s broken up as well so Angle hits the Slam for two more. Booker’s superkick gets his own near fall as Jordan slides in a chair. That earns him an ejection and the distraction lets Angle chair Booker in the head for the second elimination to get us down to one on one.

We take another break and come back with JBL slightly cut open and Angle fighting out of a chinlock. The ankle lock goes on but gets broken up just as quickly and there’s the fall away slam. The Clothesline hits the referee though, just as Angle gets the ankle lock. JBL calls out the Bashams for the save so it’s a bunch of suplexes all around. That includes some rolling German suplexes to JBL and the ankle lock gets the tap, which no one sees. Cue Booker to chair Angle down, allowing JBL to steal the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Booker vs. Angle made this work rather well, even when the ending was as obvious as you could have gotten. They have made no secret about the fact that this was JBL’s win the entire way and that’s fine. It makes the most sense and you can have the other three get title shots later on if they want to. Not a great match, but it got around the clear finish and that’s kind of hard to do.

JBL does You Can’t See Me to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a story heavy show and that gave it a way around some of the lame wrestling. The shows over in England are often a bit off wrestling wise (probably due to the travel issues) so going with some big angle advancement was the right call. It’s a good show and now we can start the build towards whatever their next pay per view is going to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 21, 2005
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,258
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The search for a #1 contender continues with Booker T. vs. Big Show for the final spot in the #1 contenders triple threat match. The other, and likely more interesting, story is the issues between Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio, who are still the reigning Smackdown Tag Team Champions. For now at least. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

WWE Championship Series: Big Show vs. Booker T.

JBL, with the now former version of the WWE Title, is on commentary. Booker’s wife Sharmell is in the front row. Hold on though as here’s Kurt Angle, which doesn’t sit well with JBL. Kurt stares at JBL and then joins commentary as well. Booker’s waistlock doesn’t get him anywhere as JBL goes on one of his great rants about how unfair this whole thing is. Angle mentions being a four time WWE Champion, with Cole bringing up the gold medal. Angle: “That too.” Some shots to the knees have Show down but he uses the good leg to kick away in the corner.

The standing legdrop gives Show two as Angle comes to the realization that he would face JBL one on one if no one wins here. Oh here we go. As JBL yells about Angle being bald, Show cuts off the comeback with a superkick. The big boot misses though and Show crotches himself on the ropes. The Book End gets two and a Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor. That’s enough for Angle and JBL to get up and beat them both down for the double DQ.

Rating: D+. This was all about the story instead of the match itself, a lot of which was missed for the sake of showing commentary. You can see the four way coming from here because heels never learn in WWE but at least the commentary was entertaining until we got to the finish. Show is already back to where he was before his comeback though and that’s a bit sad to see.

Post match Show and Booker clear the ring and here’s Theodore Long to say not so fast. As expected, next week will now be a four way #1 contenders match, because this company can’t even go through three matches without changing the format of a series it created. As for tonight, tag match playa, holla holla holla!

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana, with the fans behind Carlito in a bit of a surprise. We’re in New York City and that’s not cool. He has no problem with spitting part of the Big Apple in their faces because he doesn’t like it here. Earlier today, he was walking the streets and saw hundreds of kids with no chance of growing up to be cool. New Yorkers are known for losing their cool, which brings him to his guest tonight, who is the opposite of cool: Eddie Guerrero.

The fans are VERY behind Eddie here as Carlito brings up Eddie’s absence last week when MNM laid Rey Mysterio out. We see a clip, but Eddie threatens to do some violent things to Carlito if he says cool again. Eddie would like Rey to come out here right now for a chat so here he is. A lot has changed in the last year with Eddie going from holding up the WWE Championship in this building a year ago and now….this. Eddie has become clouded and selfish and it cost Rey a shot at the WWE Championship.

Instead of focusing on what he doesn’t have, Eddie is focusing on what he does have: his health, and his family, like Rey. They shake hands but here are MNM on the screen. Melina wastes no time in issuing the challenge but Eddie wants them to say it face to face. They say they’re happier back here, and step aside to reveal Eddie’s low rider. Spray painting ensues and Eddie rants in Spanish.

During the break, Eddie and Rey went to the car and the title match is on for tonight.

The returning Matt Morgan, now with a stutter, says he isn’t nervous because he commands attention. And that would be it for Morgan’s chances at going anywhere in WWE.

Orlando Jordan tells the Bashams, who are about three feet from him, to get over here right now. He wants them to help him beat up John Cena tonight to soften him up for JBL. Jordan leaves and Danny says he’s getting sick of this.

Matt Morgan vs. Brett Matthews

Morgan thinks Matthews is laughing at him so the destruction is on in a hurry, including a big boot. A side slam sets up a suplex into a Rock Bottom (later named the Hellevator/Nightmare Pendulum) gives Morgan the pin in a hurry. Matthews would later change his name to something that stuck a little better: Zack Ryder.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Kurt Angle vs. Booker T./Big Show

Booker and JBL stare at each other to start but Show comes in before anything happens. That means the big overhand chop and a headbutt as Show does his usual slow paced offense which looks effective enough. With JBL knocked down and out to the floor, it’s off to Angle, whose headlock is carried into the corner. Booker comes in for a headlock and cleans house without much effort. The side kick takes too long though and it’s time to roll some German suplexes.

Angle low bridges him to the floor and it’s Booker in trouble for a change. A whip into the corner sets up a waistlock with a grapevine to keep Booker down and Angle gets some near falls. JBL holds Booker down for some Angle stomping and a belly to belly makes it even worse. The rib work continues with a bodyscissors but Booker gets up and grabs a DDT. The hot tag brings in Show to clean house and run everyone over but the Angle Slam cuts him off. Show is back up and grabs a chokeslam on JBL as Angle walks out on the match. The ax kick and the chokeslam finish JBL.

Rating: D+. Totally standard main event tag match here with Angle showing some intelligence because this means nothing in the long term. They aren’t hiding the obvious ending to next week’s match and that’s acceptable enough here, though JBL vs. Cena again isn’t the most thrilling prospect in the world.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat. He’s been here for a few days now and has even made a few friends. He would like to bring out one of those friends right now, so here is the Brooklyn Brawler (who has theme music). Heidenreich reads a poem about him, which basically says the Brawler is here. The Brawler isn’t impressed and says that was embarrassing.

The only more embarrassing thing was when the Yankees choked against the Red Sox last year in the playoffs. That was so embarrassing that Brawler takes off his shirt to reveal a Red Sox shirt. Now, he is the BOSTON BRAWLER, earning himself a beating from Heidenreich. I remember the Brawler doing this and it very well might be more memorable than anything Heidenreich did in his career.

We look back at MNM ruining the low rider.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

MNM is challenging and we get the very cool paparazzi entrance (another one which was incredible in OVW, especially with Superstar as their theme song). The brawl is on before the bell with Eddie backdropping Nitro to get things going. Mercury is sent outside as well, with Cole declaring it a tag team clinic about thirty seconds in. Back from a break with Rey dropkicking Nitro down and Eddie nailing the slingshot hilo.

A Nitro distraction lets Mercury knock Eddie off the apron though and the champs are in trouble for the first time. Mercury grabs an abdominal stretch, which is broken up in a hurry for the hot tag off to Rey. That’s fine with Nitro, who fireman’s carries him into a gutbuster from Mercury to take over again. Eddie comes back in anyway as everything breaks down. Rey loads up the 619 but Melina distracts Eddie, allowing MNM to hit their elevated DDT for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. I’ve always liked MNM and this is a good way to start them off in a hurry. It’s not a great match or anything but they advanced the Eddie vs. Rey story and made some new stars in the tag division at the same time. That’s a rather nice use of ten minutes and a much better debut than the Heart Throbs had on Raw.

Post match Eddie shoves Rey down and goes to leave but Rey shoves him down on the floor and leaves by himself.

Raw Rebound. I wouldn’t remind people of that show.

MNM has a photo shoot by their limo and Melina is very pleased.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Before the match, Cena, in a Babe Ruth Yankees jersey, says he’s hearing the sounds of New York and lists off some boroughs to make the crowd happy. Cena talks about how New York is built on tradition and that makes it special. New York knows how to adapt and overcome, which he will do here. Dude it’s Orlando Jordan. You could win this match without taking the jersey off. Jordan only has one Basham here and that isn’t going to end well.

Jordan gets in an early shoulder but gets punched in the corner. Doug Basham offers a distraction so Jordan can hit a DDT, which is probably about it for his big time offense. Cena comes back but gets sent shoulder first into the post so Jordan can hammer away. The bearhug is broken up with a shot to the head and a suplex puts both of them down. Back up and some clotheslines have Jordan in trouble as Cena initiates his finishing sequence. Doug has to take an FU and as the referee gets rid of him, cue Danny to belt Cena in the head. Jordan’s top rope elbow gets two and, after dropping Danny, Cena finishes with the FU.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? Jordan isn’t interesting and isn’t worth watching but he’s here almost every single week and we have to watch him have one bad match after another. There was no way that Cena was losing here and it was a matter of time until Cena beat him. They didn’t spend too much time on it, but any time spent watching Jordan feels like an eternity.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling was not good here but the storytelling made up for a lot of it and that’s what matters more. The Eddie vs. Rey stuff is a very good story and I’m digging how they’ve made one logical step after another. That is the case with JBL vs. Cena as well, though that one isn’t as interesting. It wasn’t a great show here, but they’re setting things up and you can see where it’s going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 14, 2005
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in the process of finding a new #1 contender, which is likely to be JBL. Thankfully we get some big matches on the way there, including one tonight with Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero. That is one of those matches that can’t be screwed up so we should be in for a good evening. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the #1 contender series, with Eddie Guerrero costing Rey Mysterio his match against JBL.

Opening sequence.

Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T.

Non-title with JBL on commentary. Speaking of JBL, he offers an early distraction so Jordan can get in a cheap shot to take over. Jordan stops to pose like the schnook that he is and Booker kicks him in the face, only to have the Bashams run in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on but Big Show runs (faster than I’ve seen him move in years) in for the save. Theodore Long, handicap match.

Orlando Jordan/Basham Brothers vs. Big Show/Booker T.

Show pulls Danny over the ropes to start but Doug breaks up a chokeslam attempt to Jordan. Booker beats up the Bashams and Show spears Danny on the floor. The Spinarooni sets up the ax kick and Doug is done in a hurry.

Post match we’re told Big Show faces Booker next week in the #1 contender series, which makes sense given Show’s current nice guy status. As a bonus, JBL yells at the rest of the Cabinet.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Fallout from last week’s bikini contest. Dawn kicks her in the ribs to start and sends her face first into the mat. They go to a pinfall reversal sequence of all things until Dawn hits an X Factor for two. Torrie gets two off a rollup before finishing with the swinging neckbreaker.

Video on the Australia tour.

It’s time for the debut of Carlito’s Cabana, complete with a hammock and coconut drinks. And a basket of apples for the health conscious guest, though if you disrespect him, he will spit on you. Carlito mocks the Cubs as lovable losers, just like his first guest: Rey Mysterio. We look back at Eddie Guerrero costing Rey his match against JBL last week, ending his chances at becoming #1 contender.

Rey admits that he’s mad at Eddie and hasn’t talked to him in a week but they’re family. He’ll be WWE Champion one day though, which Carlito doesn’t buy. It’s clear that Eddie is jealous of him and things are about to get a lot worse. Cue the debuting MNM, with Carlito’s eyes bugging out over Melina’s entrance (fair enough). Carlito dubs them cool and Melina handles the introductions.

They could be Tag Team Champions since Latino Heat and Mucha Lucha aren’t getting along. That’s a challenge so Rey makes fun of Melina’s breath. The beatdown is on and it’s an elevated DDT to plant Rey as the EDDIE chants don’t get him any help. Carlito sits in his lounge chair and seems impressed with the whole thing. This was a heck of a debut as you instantly get the idea of the team with the paparazzi style entrance and their overall appeal. They were outstanding down in OVW and the whole idea works even better on the main roster. Very good stuff here.

Post match JBL yells at the Cabinet some more, blaming them for costing him the World Title. A deliveryman brings in a box, which is addressed to John Cena. JBL pays him off and gets the box instead.

Rey is on the trainer’s table when an irate Eddie comes in to say he’ll deal with MNM. Rey says just leave him alone because he wasn’t there when Rey needed him. Eddie claims car trouble but Rey isn’t convinced and yells about last week. Things calm down a bit with Eddie dedicating his match against Kurt Angle tonight to Rey.

Here’s John Cena, sans title belt, for a WWE Championship presentation. Cena talks about how Chicago does it big, because they’re hosting Wrestlemania XXII next year. That brings him to the title, which everyone is chasing. Cena has made a new title belt but since JBL stole it, he can bring it out here right now. Either that or Cena can come get it.

Cue JBL, who orders some goons to bring out a trashcan and a box. JBL takes off his jacket to reveal the current title, which still has Cena’s name on it. Cena: “Looks like you made a habit out of stealing my stuff.” JBL goes on a rant about Cena ruining tradition and promises to destroy what Cena has planned for tonight. Cena says hang on as JBL opens the box and reaches in to find….guts from a slaughterhouse.

JBL is disgusted so Cena goes up and pours the whole box onto his white shirt. As I try to get my head around how lucky it is that JBL just happened to be there to intercept the box from the delivery man, Cena gets back in the ring and has the new title lowered. And yes, it’s the spinner title as we enter the dark ages.

Heidenreich vs. ???

Tazz gets his history wrong by saying that we’ve never had a poet in WWE before, meaning Michael Cole has to serve as historian. What does it say when Cole is outsmarting you? The unnamed guy hammers away in the corner but gets kicked in the face as Heidenreich talks about wanting to be friends. A corner clothesline sets up more shouting and it’s a sitout Boss Man Slam to give Heidenreich the pin.

Post match, with the jobber in the corner, Heidenreich reads a poem about….breaking wind because we’re in the Windy City. It is exactly what you would expect. That’s a Vince promo if I’ve ever heard one.

Booker and Sharmell are fired up for next week but Booker has to stop for a photo shoot. Kurt Angle comes up to say it doesn’t matter who wins next week because Angle is on a roll. Sharmell calms things down so Angle accuses Booker of needing a woman to fight his battles. Sharmell: “Oh no you didn’t.” She brings up Eddie beating Angle last year at Wrestlemania and does Booker’s catchphrase. Sharmell can actually talk outside of hailing King Booker.

Here’s Paul London with a bandage around his head after last week’s bloody match. We see part of last week’s beatdown at the hands of Billy Kidman and Chavo Guerrero before London talks about needing eighteen staples in his head. He can’t wrestle tonight so he’s here for a fight, meaning it’s time to call out Chavo.

Cue Chavo, who claims that London stole the Cruiserweight Title in the first place. London has never beaten him because he is the greatest of all time. Chavo is coming for the title as soon as London is cleared. An honorable man like Chavo would never fight an injured man, so here’s Kidman from behind to jump London. The champ fights him off and hits a DDT to set up the 450.

Raw Rebound.

We recap the #1 contender series. All one match of it.

WWE Championship Series: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Feeling out process to start with Eddie taking him down by the arm. Angle reverses into a wristlock, with Eddie reversing into one of his own. That’s not working for Angle, who stacks Eddie up for two and a standoff. Eddie gets smart by picking up the pace and dropkicks Angle to the floor as they are taking their time here. Back in and a headlock takeover works a bit better for Angle but Eddie reverses into another armbar.

Eddie switches things up with Three very fast Amigos but has to roll through the frog splash as we take a break. Back with Angle uppercutting away and hitting the first belly to belly to work on the ribs. The Angle Slam is countered into a hurricanrana as they’re getting into their standard story here of Angle being laser focused with his natural skills and Eddie being creative and adapting as the match goes on. It’s very Bret vs. Shawn and they’re talented enough to make it work.

The ref gets bumped so Eddie goes outside and puts a chair near the announcers’ table before dropping down on the mat. It’s not quite enough for the DQ so Angle snaps off a German suplex. A backbreaker gives Angle some near falls and we hit the bodyscissors. Eddie gets creative by elbowing the leg for the break, earning himself another hard German suplex. With nothing else working, Angle tries a super Angle Slam, which gets elbowed away. The frog splash hits knees though and we take another break.

Back with Angle grabbing the waistlock again before the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for the double knockdown. Angle is up first and the Slam gets two to put them both down again. It’s time to roll some German suplexes for two more but Eddie hits Three more Amigos. The frog splash gets two and a small package is good for the same as Angle has to pull his singlet back up. He’s made enough to pick the ankle but Eddie rolls it away for the ref bump.

Angle grabs the chair from earlier, which draws out Rey to take it away. Eddie sees Rey holding the chair and thinks he’s going to hit him, allowing Angle to ram Rey into Eddie, knocking him silly with the chair. The referee comes back in so Angle can pin Eddie and advance.

Rating: B+. Were you expecting anything less from Angle vs. Eddie for 25 minutes? Actually you might have been as these two can put on some masterpieces. This one was just very good with some storyline advancement tied into the rather awesome match. The storytelling was there and the wedge between Eddie and Rey is furthered. That’s one of the better TV matches you’ll see in a long time and it flew by, which is always a bonus.

Eddie yells at Rey to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It takes a lot to knock a show with this kind of a main event down this far but the rest of the night was terrible. You had a bunch of nothing matches, Heidenreich’s juvenile promo and the debut of the spinner belt. What else was positive on here other than the main event and MNM’s debut? Sharmell yelling at Angle maybe? Excellent main event but egads the rest of the show is awful.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 7, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and that means things are going to be resetting just a bit. John Cena won the Smackdown World Title and that means things should feel a little more energized around here. I’m not sure what to expect, but hopefully it’s a better structured show than Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results it you need a recap.

This one is rated TV-MA, which should make it a bit more interesting.

Here’s JBL to get things going, because we’re doing the same thing Raw did. Cole says that JBL’s title reign lasted 244 days, which isn’t really close to the 280 that it actually was. That’s quite the error but we’ll move on to JBL ranting about how awesome he is/was while John Cena left the arena in handcuffs last week. Cena is not in his league and maybe JBL should just go back to his great life in New York City. He isn’t riding into the sunset though because he wants his rematch.

JBL quotes the Jack Nicholson court room speech from A Few Good Men but here’s Eddie Guerrero to cut him off. Eddie didn’t like hearing JBL say the people need him as champion because they only thing they need is for him to shut up. If JBL wants the title back, he’ll have to go through Eddie because he deserves it. Cue Booker T. to say they can go to the back of the line but it’s Big Show cutting them all off. The fans chant for Eddie as Big Show threatens to shove JBL’s hat somewhere.

Now it’s Rey Mysterio joining the fray and Eddie isn’t looking happy. JBL to Rey: “Try it in English.” Rey says he should get the shot because we’re in the 619 but here’s Kurt Angle to say Eddie, Big Show and JBL all lost at Wrestlemania. Booker wasn’t even on Wrestlemania! As for Rey, you can’t challenge for the title without being an adult. Angle was very busy on Sunday because he got arrested for armed robbery. He stole the show and everyone saw it and the police had to do something.

JBL tells everyone to get out of the ring but here’s Theodore Long to say JBL doesn’t have a rematch clause in his Wrestlemania contract. They all have a case and they’ll have a chance to prove it in a series of matches to determine the new #1 contender, though the word tournament isn’t mentioned. We’ll start with JBL vs. Mysterio. I’m not sure if you can call it a tournament, but that’s the same thing we just got to set up Wrestlemania.

There is a bikini contest tonight, which I really hope isn’t what makes this TV-MA.

Cruiserweight Title: Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

London is defending and Chavo Guerrero is on commentary, talking about the twenty five men who eliminated him from the battle royal last week. On a related note: I love the way Charles Robinson flips the belt up to hold it over his head. It’s a nice touch. London grabs an early armdrag but gets thrown into the corner for his efforts. A heck of an Irish whip into the corner has London in more trouble and some knees to the face make it even worse. London tries to fight up but gets sent hard into the buckle and down to the floor in a crash that looked pretty bad.

Back in and London is busted open with the blood gushing as London starts his comeback. A hurricanrana gives London two but Kidman’s dropkick is good for the same. We pause so Robinson can ask if London wants to continue and the distraction lets Kidman hit the BK Bomb. Kidman grabs a fireman’s carry but London rolls through into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C. The blood was quite the addition (as well as the TV-MA explanation) and it felt

like the match ended in a hurry as a result. London is an easy guy to like and putting him against Chavo should give us some good matches. It’s better than having the cruiserweights barely ever show up and there is never a problem with some faster paced matches.

Post match Kidman and Chavo beat London down.

Long Wrestlemania recap.

Luther Reigns mocks Big Show’s sumo gear and some humor challenged wrestlers find this HILARIOUS. Show pops up and says let’s do this right now.

Big Show vs. Luther Reigns

Show chops him to the floor to start so Reigns tries to power him into the corner. That earns him some sumo strikes back across the ring and Show knocks him outside again. A big boot and corner splash set up the chokeslam to finish Reigns. That would be Reigns’ last match on Smackdown and he’s little more than a small footnote in wrestling history. He had a great look but couldn’t do anything in the ring or anything significant on the mic, so he went nowhere.

Here’s John Cena for his first comments as champ and the fans seem happy to see him. Cena talks about JBL being the longest reigning champion in a decade and all the things that he accomplished with the title. After all that though, the champ is here. He’s been told that he isn’t a superstar and doesn’t respect the business or its championships. Apparently traditionalists got offended when he modified the US Title, so take a look at the coveted WWE Title.

Cena goes outside and climbs into the crowd, saying that it doesn’t matter who it is coming at him: Booker T., Eddie Guerrero, JBL, the Brooklyn Brawler, Iron Mike Sharp or Steve Gatorwolf. You want some, come get some. The celebration is on in the crowd and it does feel like a big deal and a new era.

Post break and the celebration is still on.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Gold Medal Invitational. Before we get to that though, he talks about Cena’s days being numbered because next week he’s facing Eddie Guerrero in the #1 contender series.

Kurt Angle vs. Jose Quesada

Angle asks if Jose’s family is here and jumps him as he goes to point. German suplex, Angle Slam and ankle lock finish Jose at 36 seconds.

Post match Angle puts on the ankle lock again and makes Jose scream as a preview for Eddie.

Carlito didn’t like Piper’s Pit so next week it’s Carlito’s Cabana. Anyone cool is invited, and the interviewer thinks he might qualify. The apple is loaded up so he backs off immediately.

Rey Mysterio is ready when Eddie comes in to give him a pep talk. Mysterio isn’t wild on the idea of Eddie being out there with him after what happened last week. Besides, he can beat anyone on any given night, just like he did to Eddie on Sunday. Eddie doesn’t look happy.

Michael Cole is in the ring to host a bikini contest to plug the Viva Las Divas magazine and DVD. We have Miss Jackie, Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson but Michelle McCool, Joy Giovanni and Lauren Jones interrupt. They should be included too so they disrobe as well and, of course, Torrie wins because she always does. This was a way to fill in time with good looking women so it worked on that front.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Orlando Jordan is here with JBL and we finally get the rules of the series: there are three singles matches and the winners go to a triple threat match in the UK for the title shot at a date to be announced. Better than a standard tournament. Rey moves around to start and bails to the floor, eventually suckering JBL in for a dropkick.

That’s shrugged off though and JBL forearms him in the back as the fans stay behind Rey. A shot to the face knocks Mysterio down again but he’s fine enough to snap JBL’s throat across the top. Rey’s hurricanrana puts JBL on the floor and a baseball slide puts Jordan on the floor. Back from a break with Rey holding a sleeper until JBL flips him forward for the counter. JBL starts working on the ribs and back with a suplex getting two.

A straight right hand puts Rey down again and a super fall away slam is good for two more. JBL kicks him in the face for daring to try a comeback and the expected bearhug goes on. Rey bites at the face to escape so JBL plants him with a spinebuster for two instead. The belly to back superplex is countered though and Rey hits a top rope moonsault press for his own near fall.

That means the pace can pick up, including a DDT to plant JBL. Jordan breaks up the 619 though, which draws out Eddie to deal with him. Eddie hammers away on Jordan so JBL kicks him in the back for the save. Now the 619 hits JBL, with the announcers declaring that he is gonna do it. The West Coast Pop looks to finish but Eddie comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was getting good by the end and then they went to the logical ending. It’s fine to have Mysterio lose here because of Eddie as their issues can continue while also getting us closer to the logical JBL rematch. JBL knows how to put on a power display like this though and the match was entertaining as a result.

Post match the Bashams run in to go after Eddie and Rey but Cena makes the save. JBL points at him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one better than Raw, even though Raw had better wrestling throughout the night. This show felt like it had more filler but it also felt like it was a show that kept things rolling rather than taking most of the night off. We have a series of challengers for the title (though the end result isn’t much of a secret) and actual comments from the new champ rather than seeing him getting beaten up for a few minutes in a lame match. It wasn’t a great show but it made me want to see where some things were going and that’s what you want from a show like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 31, 2019
Location: Reliant Arena, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the very last show before Wrestlemania and that can’t come soon enough. This week’s Raw was a great example of what happens when the show is set in stone and there is nothing worth doing to get us to the pay per view. Hopefully that isn’t the case this time around but I don’t have the highest hopes. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Danny Basham

There’s no Rey Mysterio, which seems to be at Eddie’s request. Danny starts in on the arm as Jerry (replacing Tazz who is having family issues) gets in the LATINO HEEEAT line. Eddie spins up so Danny poses at him, earning a poke to the eye. You don’t need an eye for a powerslam though as Danny is already showing more fire than Muhammad Hassan did in his match with Shawn on Monday.

Basham misses a splash in the corner and gets dropkicked as the comeback is on. Right hands in the corner draw Doug up for a failed save attempt, meaning it’s time for Three Amigos. Now Doug’s cheap shots can work though, drawing out Rey for the save. Rey kicks Eddie by mistake though, knocking him into a rollup to give Doug the big upset pin.

Rating: C. There was some fire in the match but what mattered here was the story advancement, which was better than I would have guessed. Eddie and Rey’s issues have been slowly simmering over the last few weeks with Chavo starting to get inside Eddie’s head, which can make for quite the match on Sunday. Who knew that Danny, another of the OVW stars who was great on his own, could hang here? It’s almost like it should have been obvious while he and Doug were wasting time trying to get Shaniqua over.

We look at last week’s JBL vs. John Cena debate.

JBL yells at Theodore Long for letting it get out of control last week. It better not happen tonight or the Wrestlemania main event is off.

Cruiserweight Title: Battle Royal

Spike Dudley, Akio, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Funaki, Billy Kidman, Paul London, Chavo Guerrero

We’re down to Kidman, Scotty, London and Akio as London stomps on Akio’s back. Scotty gets sent to the apron and a middle rope kick from Akio is good for the elimination. Kidman gets all aggressive and pounds on London but can’t get rid of him. London gets in a dropkick to both of them and Kidman accidentally backdrops Akio to the apron. A dropkick gets rid of Akio and London headscissors Kidman out for the title.

Rating: D+. London is as good of a choice as any here as the fans react to him and it’s not like the title has any real value at the moment. I can appreciate them getting a spot like this, though I can imagine it isn’t living up to a Wrestlemania payday. Hopefully they got thrown onto the DVD as an extra for the sake of an extra payout or something.

Akebono arrives.

Dirty Harry Wrestlemania trailer.

Carlito comes in to see Theodore Long and has an idea: he can get back in the ring tonight but Long says no. He isn’t medically cleared, so Long has a better idea. Some Carlito protests get him back in the ring….against John Cena.

Eddie comes up to Rey, who tries to apologize but Eddie knows it was an accident. Eddie is just frustrated, so Rey agrees to wrestle Doug Basham tonight, even though he’s not scheduled. Just to make Wrestlemania fair you see.

Booker T. vs. Luther Reigns

In the back, Sharmell gives Booker a pep talk about how he needs this win. Reigns powers him into the corner to start and then hits Booker in the face a few times. Booker’s hook kick to the face drops him but a missed side kick crotches him on the ropes. The side slam sets up the chinlock but Booker’s comeback doesn’t take long. A superkick sets up the Spinarooni into the scissors kick for the pin.

Rating: D. Booker goes from a Heidenreich feud to facing Reigns? What did he do to deserve something like this? With everything else that he can do, you put him against those numskulls? The match was every Reigns match, as he can’t do anything in the ring other than generic power stuff. Booker deserves better.

Long finds Bob Orton in his office. Bob is worried about what Randy is going to be doing and wants to talk to the Undertaker about it. Long is cool with it out of respect for Orton.

Classic Steve Austin Moment: the zamboni.

Here’s Bob Orton for a chat. He’s honored to be inducted into the Hall of Fame and he’s honored to have a World Champion son, but Randy is taking it too far. Bob calls Undertaker out and after the full entrance, Bob talks about how he has no problem with Undertaker. Randy has taken it too far though and Bob nearly begs Undertaker to not kill him. Undertaker says Randy’s fate is sealed and he will rest in peace at Wrestlemania. Cue Randy for a quick RKO so he and his dad can leave. It’s not a sign if they need to bring in Randy’s dad to make this work. It was going fine enough with just the two of them.

Doug Basham vs. Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Danny are both at ringside and a Danny distraction lets Doug get in a cheap shot from behind. A ribs first drop across the top rope sets up the abdominal stretch but Rey gets out in a hurry. The standing Lionsault gives Rey two and the 619 connects but Danny’s distraction draws in Eddie, who accidentally crotches Rey. Doug steals the pin to even things up between Rey and Eddie.

Post match Rey accepts that it was just an accident.

Braveheart Wrestlemania trailer.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like being told that he failed on Raw. He beats up Josh Matthews and carries him to the ring due to a bad case of being Josh Matthews. Angle beats him around the arena, including on the stage and at ringside. Josh actually gets in a right hand so it’s the ankle lock with a grapevine. After letting go, Angle says he’ll do the same to Shawn on Sunday and sets up a video package about his career. The highlight reels alone from these two have been worth everything else.

Classic Hulk Hogan Moment: the Saturday Night’s Main Event match against Paul Orndorff.

Cole is in the ring for the weigh-in between Big Show and Akebono. They both come out and Cole explains sumo wrestling. Show weighs 493 and Akebono (barefoot) weighs 504, which surprises Show, who last week said he expected Akebono to weigh more. He says this is the first time in his life that someone has weighed more than him, meaning he has forgotten the match with Loch Ness (which wasn’t all that bad). Show talks about how big of a deal Akebono is in sumo but this is the WWE. Akebono is looking forward to their match on Sunday and wants a match right now.

Akebono vs. ???

Thrust to the chest and a squatting cover is good for the pin. For Akebono that is.

Wrestlemania rundown.

John Cena vs. Carlito

Carlito hides in the ropes to start, which is probably the best thing he can do. The chase goes badly for Carlito as well so he pokes Cena in the eye for what is likely the peak of his offense. Cena explodes with the clothesline and sends Carlito head first into the buckle over and over. The FU is loaded up but here are JBL and the police to arrest Cena as the match is thrown out.

Cena is arrested for destroying JBL’s limo and the trash talk is on as the cops take Cena away. JBL does put a hand on Cena so Cena can get a shoulder to the ribs. That earns him a low blow and a You Can’t See Me from JBL to end the show. JBL had to get in a little something on Cena before Wrestlemania.

Overall Rating: D+. The Rey/Eddie stuff was good but other than that, they were out of ideas for Wrestlemania a few weeks ago so it’s quite the relief to finally get to the show. The stuff that has nothing to do with Sunday plus the sumo wrestling thing made me want to fast forward instead of see Wrestlemania. They did a good job with one match though and Eddie vs. Rey needed the help. The last few weeks have not been kind to Wrestlemania, but Sunday is all that matters so it might be all right in the end.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 24, 2005
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have two Smackdowns left before Wrestlemania and it seems that they’re running out of ways to hide the fact that John Cena is becoming WWE Champion. You can only go so long before it’s the most obvious result in the world (other than Batista beating HHH that is) and we’ve been there for a few weeks now. It would be a good idea to focus on some other things this week so hopefully WWE gets the idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tonight: a debate between Cena and JBL. Well JBL is better at talking than he is wrestling.

Tazz brings Big Show to the ring for a chat. After recapping what is going on (a sumo wrestler challenged Show and Show accepted), Tazz hypes up next week’s weigh-in with Akebono. Show doesn’t care if Akebono weighs more than he does because he’s still bigger. Cue Luther Reigns in a jeep to interrupt and this isn’t going to end well.

Reigns talks about how Show is in over his head and has no chance of winning because he’s smaller and inexperienced (the man has a point). That’s going to embarrass Theodore Long, Smackdown and the whole locker room, including Reigns himself. It should be Reigns facing Akebono, but he has an idea. This jeep weighs 4,400 pounds and Reigns is going to flip it over with his bare hands.

That is as much of a failure as you can imagine so Reigns hits the ring for the brawl. Show doesn’t have time for this and chokeslams him in short order. Before leaving though, he (eventually) turns over the jeep as expected (with a last second camera switch). This was as much of an effort as you could get to make a sumo match interesting and it didn’t work, mainly because it’s an attempt to hype up a sumo match.

Eddie Guerrero tells Chavo to leave but Chavo says they’re family. Eddie: “Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t.” Chavo asks Eddie what happened last week, with Eddie saying Rey got the pin because he was the legal man. Chavo wants to know what legal has to do with the Guerreros but Eddie doesn’t want to hear it. Maybe he should listen to himself though, because Chavo knows Eddie needs to know who the better man is. That gets Eddie thinking.

Classic Hulk Hogan Moment: Wrestlemania IX. Still one of the all time dumb moments.

Sylvester Stallone will be inducting Hogan into the Hall of Fame. And make sure to watch his new show the Contender.

Orlando Jordan vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Non-title. Hold on though as JBL takes Scotty out but Scotty fights back and hits the Worm on JBL. That’s too far for JBL and we have a change.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Non-title again and the beating is on in a hurry, including the fall away slam. The Clothesline finishes Scotty in about a minute.

Kurt Angle has a special surprise.

Here’s Theodore Long to talk about how much fun we’ve been having tonight. He has another idea though and brings out Elvis, as played by Carlito. He comes out to what sounds like Cool Cocky Bad in Spanish and promises to prove that he’s a better singer than this Elvis guy. Carlito speaks the opening words to Jailhouse Rock and then storms off when the fans aren’t happy.

Eddie has an idea for Mysterio at Wrestlemania: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Rey likes the idea and then realizes that Eddie is serious. Eddie wants him to think about it but they’ve got a title defense tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

Holly and Haas are challenging…..and we have a gong. Undertaker appears on screen to say that many dragons have laid siege to his kingdom over the years. Randy Orton has tried to use him to make a point and has sealed his own destiny. All Orton has done is wake him up and tonight, there will be a sacrifice. And now, for the title match.

Eddie and Holly start things off with Guerrero taking him to the mat and grabbing a headlock. With that not working, Haas and Mysterio come in….and we have more thunder and lightning. We take a break and come back with Mysterio being snapmared into a double arm crank. Rey gets out of the corner and hits the springboard seated senton for a breather.

Eddie comes back in to pick up the pace with the headscissors and the Three Amigos to Haas. It’s too early for the full nelson though and Holly grabs a full nelson slam for two. A whip knocks Rey off the apron and Charlie busts out the Haas of Pain (I miss that one). It’s Rey coming back in with the springboard save so Eddie pops Rey up into a super hurricanrana to Haas. Now the frog splash can retain the time.

Rating: C. This was about the storytelling more than the wrestling, which was kind of clear when it was Holly and Haas getting the title shot. Eddie gets to feel a little better as he got the pin for a change but something like this never ends well for either partner involved. The match is going to be awesome but it’s probably going to mean new champions and given this level of competition, I don’t know who could take them.

Post match, Rey accepts the challenge for Wrestlemania and Eddie is happy.

Classic Steve Austin Moment: Austin Meets Mike Tyson.

And now, here’s Kurt Angle to Shawn Michaels music in Shawn style gear (though the HBK shirt is crossed out) but he waves someone out. That would be Sensational Sherri and Cole sounds terrified. Angle even strikes Shawn’s pose (though he leans in the wrong direction) and promises to show how he’s a bigger star than Shawn. That’s why he’s brought out Shawn’s first manager, even though Angle didn’t need a manager when he won a gold medal. Every time you hear Shawn’s music you hear Sherri’s voice. Well Angle thinks that song sucks so he’s going to do it better.

Angle then belts out his own version of Sexy Boy, saying he has the moves, including the ankle lock and declaring his sexiness (“I’m just a sexy Kurt. I’ll make your ankle hurt!”). Shawn cuts him off from the screen and says he isn’t surprised by this and we get a Shawn highlight package. Back in the arena, Angle thinks Sherri is laughing and puts her in the ankle lock. She could probably take him in a good fight so he might want to break both ankles.

This was hilarious and some of the best proof of how outstanding Kurt can be with comedy. He sold the heck out of this and the dancing made it even better. I’ve always remembered this one and it more than holds up. Oh and Shawn’s highlight package is outstanding because he’s Shawn Michaels and has more great matches than almost anyone ever.

Dawn Marie vs. Michelle McCool

Dawn jumps her to start and goes straight to the middle turnbuckle pad. Michelle takes her down to start the cat fighting portion and Dawn’s top comes off before the first two count. A headbutt puts Michelle down and Undertaker makes the lights flicker again. Dawn sends her into the buckle and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin. I’m glad that is settled.

Carlito is leaving and threatens to beat up Funaki if he tells Long about it.

Taxi Driver Wrestlemania trailer. Still a good one.

You can vote for the Movie Trailer Awards!

Booker T. vs. Rene Dupree

Booker gets in an early kick to the face for two but Rene stomps him down in the corner. We hit the French Tickler but there’s the gong again. This time Undertaker is actually here to destroy Dupree as Booker walks off. The Tombstone onto the steps destroyed Dupree.

It’s time for the possibly above average debate between JBL and John Cena. As Cena wraps the chain around his hand, JBL wants Long to reinforce the rules from last week. That’s fine with Long, but if JBL physically provokes Cena, he can fight back. The first question goes to JBL, who is asked why he’s the better choice to be WWE Champion. JBL sucks up to the Memphis fans and talks about how great he is. Yeah HHH is a ten time champion but that means he’s lost nine times. JBL is the only champion in history to never lose his title (uh…..) and has held the title longer than anyone in ten years.

Cena asks why a rich and successful man like JBL is driving around in a broken down limo. JBL doesn’t understand so Cena goes to the floor and stabs a tire. With Long insisting that there is nothing wrong with this as Cena isn’t touching JBL, Cena busts out some spray paint and writes JBL SUCKS on the side. Cena: “I see a limo that says JBL sucks! YOU DROVE OUT HERE IN A LIMO THAT SAYS JBL SUCKS!”

Cena gets back in the ring and tells JBL to do something about it but JBL is ready for the next question. That would be “how important is one’s social and economic upbringing in being champion”. JBL rants about the rich being better for America and the only way Cena will have that kind of money is winning the lottery or turning to crime. Cena knows JBL doesn’t think much of how he dresses so maybe it’s time for a suit and tie. Since his pants have no limits, Cena busts out a big pair of scissors and cuts off JBL’s tie, which he puts into his chain. That’s not going to work either as he feels too much like a banker.

JBL’s jacket comes off and Cena sticks out his jaw but JBL turns him down. Back to the podiums with Cena cutting off Long’s question by asking what he has to do to get JBL to hit him. This time Cena steals JBL’s ten gallon hat (JBL: “I hate you.”) and wants to know if it holds ten gallons. Cena takes the pitchers of water from the table and pours it in the hat, which holds less than a gallon. With JBL’s lying confirmed, Cena puts the hat full of water back on his head.

The fight is nearly on with Cena saying JBL looks ridiculous. Cena busts out more spray paint and puts a yellow streak up the back of JBL’s shirt. A red FU (the third color of paint Cena has had) on the front of the shirt is Cena’s preview for Wrestlemania to end the show. This was WAY too long at nearly twenty minutes and Cena isn’t ready to do that kind of talking just yet. It wasn’t terrible at all and helped reinforce the story but they’ve established everything already and this didn’t add anything new.

Overall Rating: D+. This is absolutely not a wrestling show and that’s ok in a case like this. Other than Rey vs. Eddie finally being established, this was a lot of building up matches that were already set, making this a pretty skippable show (classic Angle segment aside). We’re wading through that weird period where the card is ready and there is nothing left to do but get to Wrestlemania, but we’re not all the way there just yet. This is a great example of a show where you could get by on the highlights and while it flew by, there isn’t much to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2007
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Great American Bash and that means John Cena is still the World Champion followed a pretty big match showdown against Bobby Lashley. The next stop is Summerslam, but we have about a month to go before then so there is plenty of time to get things ready. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Acting General Manager Coach brags about last night’s show but we’re looking towards Summerslam. Tonight he’s going to be watching every show and seeing who belongs in the title match. I think I remember where this one goes.

Opening sequence, which is so much more energetic than today’s stuff.

There’s a table in the ring with a bowl of fruit and a big throne set up, so here are Sharmell and King Book-ah. After a look at Book-ah and Lawler getting in a pull apart brawl last week, Book-ah asks Jerome if they can settle their issue like gentlemen. Lawler gets in the ring and sits at his end of the table, which has no tablecloth, bar stool, a coffee mug and a doughnut with a bite taken out of it (ok that’s funny).

Lawler’s mic doesn’t work so Booker talks about how he earned the crown last year and now Lawler is calling himself the King without earning it. The same is true of the Sacramento Kings you see and they should really be the Sacramento Peasants. Booker asks who should be king until Lawler asks if he’s done. Sharmell cuts him off with an ALL HAIL KING BOOKER but Lawler eventually calls Booker a pompous royal pain. That’s too far with Booker and the fight is on with Lawler sending him outside.

Mickie James/Maria vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Maria has Santino Marella with him and he sits in on commentary. Beth charges into Mickie’s elbow to start and gets taken down with a hurricanrana out of the corner. Mickie gets taken into the corner and stomped down but Melina gets double backdropped. Beth gets in a cheap shot from behind though and it’s Maria in trouble, including a chinlock.

The double chickenwing makes Maria scream (Santino: “Oh Mama Mia!”) and Melina rubs her face on the mat. Maria gets up and brings in Mickie for the Thesz press on Melina. A high crossbody gives Maria two with Beth making the save. Santino trips Beth and Melina, allowing Maria to bulldog Melina for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a weird time for the women’s division as it’s completely forgotten but they were trying. There is a fine line between the depths of the women’s division which are just embarrassing and barely even wrestling and this, which was just dull. I’ll take this every day and they were trying to make some new stars. That’s a lot better than a thirty second match with two moves if you’re lucky. Maria wasn’t great, but the other three all looked solid. Just get rid of Santino.

Video on Cena vs. Lashley.

Gerald Brisco gives Cody Rhodes a pep talk before his rematch with Randy Orton. Cue Orton to say Dusty didn’t teach Cody common sense, which doesn’t sit well with Cody. Orton didn’t Punt Dusty last night because he was afraid. Tonight, Orton will just take out the anger on Cody instead. Cody is given a chance to back out but Cody will see him out there. There’s some fire in Cody, even if it’s just his second week.

Snitsky is ready to hurt people for his own pleasure. Brush your teeth man.

John Cena tells Todd Grisham to close his eyes and imagine Candice Michelle walking towards him and being ready to team with him. She says they can wrestle (Grisham likes the idea) but then the cast of Brokeback Mountain and a huge Samoan who smells like urinal cakes comes in and starts a fight. That’s what Cena is having to deal with tonight. Then he has to worry about the next #1 contender, but come get it.

Carlito/William Regal vs. Sandman/Jim Duggan

This….might be the most amazing tag match of all time. Sandman and Regal start (what a pair) with Regal driving him back into the corner. Coach is shown watching in the back because we’re supposed to believe that these four are #1 contender contenders. Regal unloads with some left hands but Sandman backdrops him down, allowing the tag off to Duggan. That means big right hands (from the only right hander in the match) in the corner as JR isn’t sure what to make of this one. Duggan misses a charge into the corner and takes the Backstabber for the fast pin. Amazing while it lasted.

Post break Carlito thinks he should be #1 contender. He loads up the apple and spits….right onto Lashley. Carlito runs into the arena and says accidents happen sometimes so he’s here to publicly apologize. If Lashley accepts his apology, don’t say or do anything. Cue Lashley to jump over the steps and plant Carlito with the running powerslam. That should get him back on track.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

No Dusty in Cody’s corner this time. Orton headlocks him down but Cody is right back up, earning himself some forearms to the back. A crossbody out of the corner gets one (which isn’t a near fall JR) on Orton and a sunset flip out of the corner gives Cody the same. Orton snaps off the backbreaker and kicks Cody in the head as the limited mercy is long gone.

Cody gets a rollup for two but Orton blasts him with a clothesline for the same. The required chinlock goes on for a shorter time than usual and Cody is back with the drop down right hand to stagger Orton. A top rope clothesline misses though and Orton finishes with the RKO.

Rating: C-. Cody is trying here and has the fire that he needs but there was no way he was going to beat someone like Orton, either at this point or even a few years from now. Orton was on a roll at this point and while beating someone like Cody might not seem like the biggest deal, it was the way that he did it that matters.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt but Dusty runs in for the save. Dusty checks on Cody but lowers his head, allowing Orton to get in the Punt. You can hear the fans (and JR) get serious on that one and rightfully so. The replay makes it look even better and Dusty does a stretcher job.

Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy

Before the match, Kennedy says he’s about to become #1 contender. Jeff takes him into the corner to start and dodges a slap as the feeling out process begins. Kennedy goes for the arm as JR talks about how proud he was of Jeff last night against Umaga. The armbar is reversed so Kennedy forearms him in the chest, only to miss a dropkick. The legdrop between the legs….connects but Jeff goes down so Kennedy can get two.

Kennedy misses some kicks to the head so Jeff hits the legdrop between the legs for….no count as Kennedy’s shoulder was off the mat. What a weird exchange. They fight over a hammerlock, which suggests to me that they’re trying to get on the same page. Jeff sends him outside for a slingshot flip dive and we take a break. Back with Kennedy hitting an Alabama Slam out of the corner for two and the high pitched squeals erupt on the kickout. The front facelock stays on Jeff’s neck and a messed up neckbreaker gets two.

The cravate keeps Hardy in trouble until he breaks away and goes up top….where he falls down without being touched. That’s only good for two and the pop for the kickout is strong. Back up and Jeff hits the Twist of Fate (what he appeared to be trying before), setting up the slingshot dropkick in the corner. Jeff’s facebuster looks to set up the Swanton so Kennedy bails to the floor. That’s fine with Jeff, who runs the barricade for the clothesline before sending Kennedy into the set. Jeff remembers how to count though and runs down the ramp to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C. Kennedy is one of those guys where I never quite got the huge appeal (outside of one moment in 2008). I get why they would want to push him but this wasn’t anything great. The fan reactions to Jeff alone show you how they’re ready to pull the trigger on him, but it would still be a good while before that took place.

Dusty Rhodes was taken to the hospital with Cody riding in the back with him. Jim Duggan was there as the ambulance pulled away for a cameo.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Benjamin gets in an early cheap shot on Kendrick, who is fine enough to hit a middle rope armdrag on Haas. Kendrick has to dive onto Benjamin on the floor though and it’s Shelton taking over back inside. The chinlock fires Kendrick up again so Shelton kicks him in the head. Kendrick enziguris Haas to even things up and it’s the hot tag to London to clean house. The double dropkick puts Shelton on the floor but Kendrick misses his dive. That leaves Shelton to jump over Haas onto London’s back, setting up a bridging German suplex to give Haas the pin.

Rating: C-. Londrick was a good team but their time had come and gone. The World’s Greatest Tag Team reunion felt like something that could have gone somewhere but I never bought it as having the longest shelf life. Their time had come and gone, though they certainly had some value, even if it was in the short term.

We look at Orton Punting Dusty again. They’re not hiding where the ending is going here.

Here’s King Book-Ah again, with Queen Sharmell threatening Lawler for his earlier rudeness. Next week it’s Lawler vs. Book-Ah in a match that should help set up Summerslam.

Coach is ready to go tell the #1 contender about his pick when Candice Michelle comes in. She begs to not be put in a match with Umaga but Coach says she’s a champion. Fair point indeed.

Umaga/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Candice Michelle/John Cena

Non-title, No DQ and everyone is a champion. Candice looks terrified and even Cena’s music doesn’t seem to make her feel better. Never the brightest guy in the world, Cena charges in and gets triple teamed down. We settle down to a regular handicap with Cade and Murdoch pounding Cena down.

Umaga comes in and hammers away but hands it back to Murdoch, with Cena managing to fight back. That just earns Cena a swinging Rock Bottom from Umaga to cut the comeback off in a hurry. Cade and Murdoch chase Candice inside and catch her in the corner but here’s Jeff Hardy to blast Umaga with a chair over and over. Candice runs away so Cena can post Cade and Murdoch, with the latter taking the FU for the pin.

Rating: D. Those chair shots from Hardy were scary with all of the unprotected shots to the head, but they were the only memorable parts of the match. This was all a way to have Cena in the ring to set up the post match stuff and while that might not be the most entertaining idea in the world, it served its purpose and let us look at Candice so it’s not a complete disaster.

Post match Cena turns into the RKO and here’s Coach to name Orton as the #1 contender. I’m as shocked as you are.

Overall Rating: D+. This was all about setting up Orton as the #1 contender but since that was obvious for about half of the show, there is only so much that you can ask for out of the whole thing. They’re setting up Summerslam well enough though and that’s where this is all leading. Orton is LONG overdue to get back into the title hunt so the ending is a good choice. They needed a better way to get there though and that holds the show back.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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