Smackdown – April 14, 2005: The In Your House Formula

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 14, 2005
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in the process of finding a new #1 contender, which is likely to be JBL. Thankfully we get some big matches on the way there, including one tonight with Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero. That is one of those matches that can’t be screwed up so we should be in for a good evening. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the #1 contender series, with Eddie Guerrero costing Rey Mysterio his match against JBL.

Opening sequence.

Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T.

Non-title with JBL on commentary. Speaking of JBL, he offers an early distraction so Jordan can get in a cheap shot to take over. Jordan stops to pose like the schnook that he is and Booker kicks him in the face, only to have the Bashams run in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on but Big Show runs (faster than I’ve seen him move in years) in for the save. Theodore Long, handicap match.

Orlando Jordan/Basham Brothers vs. Big Show/Booker T.

Show pulls Danny over the ropes to start but Doug breaks up a chokeslam attempt to Jordan. Booker beats up the Bashams and Show spears Danny on the floor. The Spinarooni sets up the ax kick and Doug is done in a hurry.

Post match we’re told Big Show faces Booker next week in the #1 contender series, which makes sense given Show’s current nice guy status. As a bonus, JBL yells at the rest of the Cabinet.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Fallout from last week’s bikini contest. Dawn kicks her in the ribs to start and sends her face first into the mat. They go to a pinfall reversal sequence of all things until Dawn hits an X Factor for two. Torrie gets two off a rollup before finishing with the swinging neckbreaker.

Video on the Australia tour.

It’s time for the debut of Carlito’s Cabana, complete with a hammock and coconut drinks. And a basket of apples for the health conscious guest, though if you disrespect him, he will spit on you. Carlito mocks the Cubs as lovable losers, just like his first guest: Rey Mysterio. We look back at Eddie Guerrero costing Rey his match against JBL last week, ending his chances at becoming #1 contender.

Rey admits that he’s mad at Eddie and hasn’t talked to him in a week but they’re family. He’ll be WWE Champion one day though, which Carlito doesn’t buy. It’s clear that Eddie is jealous of him and things are about to get a lot worse. Cue the debuting MNM, with Carlito’s eyes bugging out over Melina’s entrance (fair enough). Carlito dubs them cool and Melina handles the introductions.

They could be Tag Team Champions since Latino Heat and Mucha Lucha aren’t getting along. That’s a challenge so Rey makes fun of Melina’s breath. The beatdown is on and it’s an elevated DDT to plant Rey as the EDDIE chants don’t get him any help. Carlito sits in his lounge chair and seems impressed with the whole thing. This was a heck of a debut as you instantly get the idea of the team with the paparazzi style entrance and their overall appeal. They were outstanding down in OVW and the whole idea works even better on the main roster. Very good stuff here.

Post match JBL yells at the Cabinet some more, blaming them for costing him the World Title. A deliveryman brings in a box, which is addressed to John Cena. JBL pays him off and gets the box instead.

Rey is on the trainer’s table when an irate Eddie comes in to say he’ll deal with MNM. Rey says just leave him alone because he wasn’t there when Rey needed him. Eddie claims car trouble but Rey isn’t convinced and yells about last week. Things calm down a bit with Eddie dedicating his match against Kurt Angle tonight to Rey.

Here’s John Cena, sans title belt, for a WWE Championship presentation. Cena talks about how Chicago does it big, because they’re hosting Wrestlemania XXII next year. That brings him to the title, which everyone is chasing. Cena has made a new title belt but since JBL stole it, he can bring it out here right now. Either that or Cena can come get it.

Cue JBL, who orders some goons to bring out a trashcan and a box. JBL takes off his jacket to reveal the current title, which still has Cena’s name on it. Cena: “Looks like you made a habit out of stealing my stuff.” JBL goes on a rant about Cena ruining tradition and promises to destroy what Cena has planned for tonight. Cena says hang on as JBL opens the box and reaches in to find….guts from a slaughterhouse.

JBL is disgusted so Cena goes up and pours the whole box onto his white shirt. As I try to get my head around how lucky it is that JBL just happened to be there to intercept the box from the delivery man, Cena gets back in the ring and has the new title lowered. And yes, it’s the spinner title as we enter the dark ages.

Heidenreich vs. ???

Tazz gets his history wrong by saying that we’ve never had a poet in WWE before, meaning Michael Cole has to serve as historian. What does it say when Cole is outsmarting you? The unnamed guy hammers away in the corner but gets kicked in the face as Heidenreich talks about wanting to be friends. A corner clothesline sets up more shouting and it’s a sitout Boss Man Slam to give Heidenreich the pin.

Post match, with the jobber in the corner, Heidenreich reads a poem about….breaking wind because we’re in the Windy City. It is exactly what you would expect. That’s a Vince promo if I’ve ever heard one.

Booker and Sharmell are fired up for next week but Booker has to stop for a photo shoot. Kurt Angle comes up to say it doesn’t matter who wins next week because Angle is on a roll. Sharmell calms things down so Angle accuses Booker of needing a woman to fight his battles. Sharmell: “Oh no you didn’t.” She brings up Eddie beating Angle last year at Wrestlemania and does Booker’s catchphrase. Sharmell can actually talk outside of hailing King Booker.

Here’s Paul London with a bandage around his head after last week’s bloody match. We see part of last week’s beatdown at the hands of Billy Kidman and Chavo Guerrero before London talks about needing eighteen staples in his head. He can’t wrestle tonight so he’s here for a fight, meaning it’s time to call out Chavo.

Cue Chavo, who claims that London stole the Cruiserweight Title in the first place. London has never beaten him because he is the greatest of all time. Chavo is coming for the title as soon as London is cleared. An honorable man like Chavo would never fight an injured man, so here’s Kidman from behind to jump London. The champ fights him off and hits a DDT to set up the 450.

Raw Rebound.

We recap the #1 contender series. All one match of it.

WWE Championship Series: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Feeling out process to start with Eddie taking him down by the arm. Angle reverses into a wristlock, with Eddie reversing into one of his own. That’s not working for Angle, who stacks Eddie up for two and a standoff. Eddie gets smart by picking up the pace and dropkicks Angle to the floor as they are taking their time here. Back in and a headlock takeover works a bit better for Angle but Eddie reverses into another armbar.

Eddie switches things up with Three very fast Amigos but has to roll through the frog splash as we take a break. Back with Angle uppercutting away and hitting the first belly to belly to work on the ribs. The Angle Slam is countered into a hurricanrana as they’re getting into their standard story here of Angle being laser focused with his natural skills and Eddie being creative and adapting as the match goes on. It’s very Bret vs. Shawn and they’re talented enough to make it work.

The ref gets bumped so Eddie goes outside and puts a chair near the announcers’ table before dropping down on the mat. It’s not quite enough for the DQ so Angle snaps off a German suplex. A backbreaker gives Angle some near falls and we hit the bodyscissors. Eddie gets creative by elbowing the leg for the break, earning himself another hard German suplex. With nothing else working, Angle tries a super Angle Slam, which gets elbowed away. The frog splash hits knees though and we take another break.

Back with Angle grabbing the waistlock again before the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for the double knockdown. Angle is up first and the Slam gets two to put them both down again. It’s time to roll some German suplexes for two more but Eddie hits Three more Amigos. The frog splash gets two and a small package is good for the same as Angle has to pull his singlet back up. He’s made enough to pick the ankle but Eddie rolls it away for the ref bump.

Angle grabs the chair from earlier, which draws out Rey to take it away. Eddie sees Rey holding the chair and thinks he’s going to hit him, allowing Angle to ram Rey into Eddie, knocking him silly with the chair. The referee comes back in so Angle can pin Eddie and advance.

Rating: B+. Were you expecting anything less from Angle vs. Eddie for 25 minutes? Actually you might have been as these two can put on some masterpieces. This one was just very good with some storyline advancement tied into the rather awesome match. The storytelling was there and the wedge between Eddie and Rey is furthered. That’s one of the better TV matches you’ll see in a long time and it flew by, which is always a bonus.

Eddie yells at Rey to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It takes a lot to knock a show with this kind of a main event down this far but the rest of the night was terrible. You had a bunch of nothing matches, Heidenreich’s juvenile promo and the debut of the spinner belt. What else was positive on here other than the main event and MNM’s debut? Sharmell yelling at Angle maybe? Excellent main event but egads the rest of the show is awful.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – April 7, 2005: The Other Kind Of Post Wrestlemania Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 7, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and that means things are going to be resetting just a bit. John Cena won the Smackdown World Title and that means things should feel a little more energized around here. I’m not sure what to expect, but hopefully it’s a better structured show than Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results it you need a recap.

This one is rated TV-MA, which should make it a bit more interesting.

Here’s JBL to get things going, because we’re doing the same thing Raw did. Cole says that JBL’s title reign lasted 244 days, which isn’t really close to the 280 that it actually was. That’s quite the error but we’ll move on to JBL ranting about how awesome he is/was while John Cena left the arena in handcuffs last week. Cena is not in his league and maybe JBL should just go back to his great life in New York City. He isn’t riding into the sunset though because he wants his rematch.

JBL quotes the Jack Nicholson court room speech from A Few Good Men but here’s Eddie Guerrero to cut him off. Eddie didn’t like hearing JBL say the people need him as champion because they only thing they need is for him to shut up. If JBL wants the title back, he’ll have to go through Eddie because he deserves it. Cue Booker T. to say they can go to the back of the line but it’s Big Show cutting them all off. The fans chant for Eddie as Big Show threatens to shove JBL’s hat somewhere.

Now it’s Rey Mysterio joining the fray and Eddie isn’t looking happy. JBL to Rey: “Try it in English.” Rey says he should get the shot because we’re in the 619 but here’s Kurt Angle to say Eddie, Big Show and JBL all lost at Wrestlemania. Booker wasn’t even on Wrestlemania! As for Rey, you can’t challenge for the title without being an adult. Angle was very busy on Sunday because he got arrested for armed robbery. He stole the show and everyone saw it and the police had to do something.

JBL tells everyone to get out of the ring but here’s Theodore Long to say JBL doesn’t have a rematch clause in his Wrestlemania contract. They all have a case and they’ll have a chance to prove it in a series of matches to determine the new #1 contender, though the word tournament isn’t mentioned. We’ll start with JBL vs. Mysterio. I’m not sure if you can call it a tournament, but that’s the same thing we just got to set up Wrestlemania.

There is a bikini contest tonight, which I really hope isn’t what makes this TV-MA.

Cruiserweight Title: Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

London is defending and Chavo Guerrero is on commentary, talking about the twenty five men who eliminated him from the battle royal last week. On a related note: I love the way Charles Robinson flips the belt up to hold it over his head. It’s a nice touch. London grabs an early armdrag but gets thrown into the corner for his efforts. A heck of an Irish whip into the corner has London in more trouble and some knees to the face make it even worse. London tries to fight up but gets sent hard into the buckle and down to the floor in a crash that looked pretty bad.

Back in and London is busted open with the blood gushing as London starts his comeback. A hurricanrana gives London two but Kidman’s dropkick is good for the same. We pause so Robinson can ask if London wants to continue and the distraction lets Kidman hit the BK Bomb. Kidman grabs a fireman’s carry but London rolls through into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C. The blood was quite the addition (as well as the TV-MA explanation) and it felt

like the match ended in a hurry as a result. London is an easy guy to like and putting him against Chavo should give us some good matches. It’s better than having the cruiserweights barely ever show up and there is never a problem with some faster paced matches.

Post match Kidman and Chavo beat London down.

Long Wrestlemania recap.

Luther Reigns mocks Big Show’s sumo gear and some humor challenged wrestlers find this HILARIOUS. Show pops up and says let’s do this right now.

Big Show vs. Luther Reigns

Show chops him to the floor to start so Reigns tries to power him into the corner. That earns him some sumo strikes back across the ring and Show knocks him outside again. A big boot and corner splash set up the chokeslam to finish Reigns. That would be Reigns’ last match on Smackdown and he’s little more than a small footnote in wrestling history. He had a great look but couldn’t do anything in the ring or anything significant on the mic, so he went nowhere.

Here’s John Cena for his first comments as champ and the fans seem happy to see him. Cena talks about JBL being the longest reigning champion in a decade and all the things that he accomplished with the title. After all that though, the champ is here. He’s been told that he isn’t a superstar and doesn’t respect the business or its championships. Apparently traditionalists got offended when he modified the US Title, so take a look at the coveted WWE Title.

Cena goes outside and climbs into the crowd, saying that it doesn’t matter who it is coming at him: Booker T., Eddie Guerrero, JBL, the Brooklyn Brawler, Iron Mike Sharp or Steve Gatorwolf. You want some, come get some. The celebration is on in the crowd and it does feel like a big deal and a new era.

Post break and the celebration is still on.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Gold Medal Invitational. Before we get to that though, he talks about Cena’s days being numbered because next week he’s facing Eddie Guerrero in the #1 contender series.

Kurt Angle vs. Jose Quesada

Angle asks if Jose’s family is here and jumps him as he goes to point. German suplex, Angle Slam and ankle lock finish Jose at 36 seconds.

Post match Angle puts on the ankle lock again and makes Jose scream as a preview for Eddie.

Carlito didn’t like Piper’s Pit so next week it’s Carlito’s Cabana. Anyone cool is invited, and the interviewer thinks he might qualify. The apple is loaded up so he backs off immediately.

Rey Mysterio is ready when Eddie comes in to give him a pep talk. Mysterio isn’t wild on the idea of Eddie being out there with him after what happened last week. Besides, he can beat anyone on any given night, just like he did to Eddie on Sunday. Eddie doesn’t look happy.

Michael Cole is in the ring to host a bikini contest to plug the Viva Las Divas magazine and DVD. We have Miss Jackie, Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson but Michelle McCool, Joy Giovanni and Lauren Jones interrupt. They should be included too so they disrobe as well and, of course, Torrie wins because she always does. This was a way to fill in time with good looking women so it worked on that front.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Orlando Jordan is here with JBL and we finally get the rules of the series: there are three singles matches and the winners go to a triple threat match in the UK for the title shot at a date to be announced. Better than a standard tournament. Rey moves around to start and bails to the floor, eventually suckering JBL in for a dropkick.

That’s shrugged off though and JBL forearms him in the back as the fans stay behind Rey. A shot to the face knocks Mysterio down again but he’s fine enough to snap JBL’s throat across the top. Rey’s hurricanrana puts JBL on the floor and a baseball slide puts Jordan on the floor. Back from a break with Rey holding a sleeper until JBL flips him forward for the counter. JBL starts working on the ribs and back with a suplex getting two.

A straight right hand puts Rey down again and a super fall away slam is good for two more. JBL kicks him in the face for daring to try a comeback and the expected bearhug goes on. Rey bites at the face to escape so JBL plants him with a spinebuster for two instead. The belly to back superplex is countered though and Rey hits a top rope moonsault press for his own near fall.

That means the pace can pick up, including a DDT to plant JBL. Jordan breaks up the 619 though, which draws out Eddie to deal with him. Eddie hammers away on Jordan so JBL kicks him in the back for the save. Now the 619 hits JBL, with the announcers declaring that he is gonna do it. The West Coast Pop looks to finish but Eddie comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was getting good by the end and then they went to the logical ending. It’s fine to have Mysterio lose here because of Eddie as their issues can continue while also getting us closer to the logical JBL rematch. JBL knows how to put on a power display like this though and the match was entertaining as a result.

Post match the Bashams run in to go after Eddie and Rey but Cena makes the save. JBL points at him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one better than Raw, even though Raw had better wrestling throughout the night. This show felt like it had more filler but it also felt like it was a show that kept things rolling rather than taking most of the night off. We have a series of challengers for the title (though the end result isn’t much of a secret) and actual comments from the new champ rather than seeing him getting beaten up for a few minutes in a lame match. It wasn’t a great show but it made me want to see where some things were going and that’s what you want from a show like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – March 31, 2005: We Need To Get There Soon

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 31, 2019
Location: Reliant Arena, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the very last show before Wrestlemania and that can’t come soon enough. This week’s Raw was a great example of what happens when the show is set in stone and there is nothing worth doing to get us to the pay per view. Hopefully that isn’t the case this time around but I don’t have the highest hopes. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Danny Basham

There’s no Rey Mysterio, which seems to be at Eddie’s request. Danny starts in on the arm as Jerry (replacing Tazz who is having family issues) gets in the LATINO HEEEAT line. Eddie spins up so Danny poses at him, earning a poke to the eye. You don’t need an eye for a powerslam though as Danny is already showing more fire than Muhammad Hassan did in his match with Shawn on Monday.

Basham misses a splash in the corner and gets dropkicked as the comeback is on. Right hands in the corner draw Doug up for a failed save attempt, meaning it’s time for Three Amigos. Now Doug’s cheap shots can work though, drawing out Rey for the save. Rey kicks Eddie by mistake though, knocking him into a rollup to give Doug the big upset pin.

Rating: C. There was some fire in the match but what mattered here was the story advancement, which was better than I would have guessed. Eddie and Rey’s issues have been slowly simmering over the last few weeks with Chavo starting to get inside Eddie’s head, which can make for quite the match on Sunday. Who knew that Danny, another of the OVW stars who was great on his own, could hang here? It’s almost like it should have been obvious while he and Doug were wasting time trying to get Shaniqua over.

We look at last week’s JBL vs. John Cena debate.

JBL yells at Theodore Long for letting it get out of control last week. It better not happen tonight or the Wrestlemania main event is off.

Cruiserweight Title: Battle Royal

Spike Dudley, Akio, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Funaki, Billy Kidman, Paul London, Chavo Guerrero

We’re down to Kidman, Scotty, London and Akio as London stomps on Akio’s back. Scotty gets sent to the apron and a middle rope kick from Akio is good for the elimination. Kidman gets all aggressive and pounds on London but can’t get rid of him. London gets in a dropkick to both of them and Kidman accidentally backdrops Akio to the apron. A dropkick gets rid of Akio and London headscissors Kidman out for the title.

Rating: D+. London is as good of a choice as any here as the fans react to him and it’s not like the title has any real value at the moment. I can appreciate them getting a spot like this, though I can imagine it isn’t living up to a Wrestlemania payday. Hopefully they got thrown onto the DVD as an extra for the sake of an extra payout or something.

Akebono arrives.

Dirty Harry Wrestlemania trailer.

Carlito comes in to see Theodore Long and has an idea: he can get back in the ring tonight but Long says no. He isn’t medically cleared, so Long has a better idea. Some Carlito protests get him back in the ring….against John Cena.

Eddie comes up to Rey, who tries to apologize but Eddie knows it was an accident. Eddie is just frustrated, so Rey agrees to wrestle Doug Basham tonight, even though he’s not scheduled. Just to make Wrestlemania fair you see.

Booker T. vs. Luther Reigns

In the back, Sharmell gives Booker a pep talk about how he needs this win. Reigns powers him into the corner to start and then hits Booker in the face a few times. Booker’s hook kick to the face drops him but a missed side kick crotches him on the ropes. The side slam sets up the chinlock but Booker’s comeback doesn’t take long. A superkick sets up the Spinarooni into the scissors kick for the pin.

Rating: D. Booker goes from a Heidenreich feud to facing Reigns? What did he do to deserve something like this? With everything else that he can do, you put him against those numskulls? The match was every Reigns match, as he can’t do anything in the ring other than generic power stuff. Booker deserves better.

Long finds Bob Orton in his office. Bob is worried about what Randy is going to be doing and wants to talk to the Undertaker about it. Long is cool with it out of respect for Orton.

Classic Steve Austin Moment: the zamboni.

Here’s Bob Orton for a chat. He’s honored to be inducted into the Hall of Fame and he’s honored to have a World Champion son, but Randy is taking it too far. Bob calls Undertaker out and after the full entrance, Bob talks about how he has no problem with Undertaker. Randy has taken it too far though and Bob nearly begs Undertaker to not kill him. Undertaker says Randy’s fate is sealed and he will rest in peace at Wrestlemania. Cue Randy for a quick RKO so he and his dad can leave. It’s not a sign if they need to bring in Randy’s dad to make this work. It was going fine enough with just the two of them.

Doug Basham vs. Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Danny are both at ringside and a Danny distraction lets Doug get in a cheap shot from behind. A ribs first drop across the top rope sets up the abdominal stretch but Rey gets out in a hurry. The standing Lionsault gives Rey two and the 619 connects but Danny’s distraction draws in Eddie, who accidentally crotches Rey. Doug steals the pin to even things up between Rey and Eddie.

Post match Rey accepts that it was just an accident.

Braveheart Wrestlemania trailer.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like being told that he failed on Raw. He beats up Josh Matthews and carries him to the ring due to a bad case of being Josh Matthews. Angle beats him around the arena, including on the stage and at ringside. Josh actually gets in a right hand so it’s the ankle lock with a grapevine. After letting go, Angle says he’ll do the same to Shawn on Sunday and sets up a video package about his career. The highlight reels alone from these two have been worth everything else.

Classic Hulk Hogan Moment: the Saturday Night’s Main Event match against Paul Orndorff.

Cole is in the ring for the weigh-in between Big Show and Akebono. They both come out and Cole explains sumo wrestling. Show weighs 493 and Akebono (barefoot) weighs 504, which surprises Show, who last week said he expected Akebono to weigh more. He says this is the first time in his life that someone has weighed more than him, meaning he has forgotten the match with Loch Ness (which wasn’t all that bad). Show talks about how big of a deal Akebono is in sumo but this is the WWE. Akebono is looking forward to their match on Sunday and wants a match right now.

Akebono vs. ???

Thrust to the chest and a squatting cover is good for the pin. For Akebono that is.

Wrestlemania rundown.

John Cena vs. Carlito

Carlito hides in the ropes to start, which is probably the best thing he can do. The chase goes badly for Carlito as well so he pokes Cena in the eye for what is likely the peak of his offense. Cena explodes with the clothesline and sends Carlito head first into the buckle over and over. The FU is loaded up but here are JBL and the police to arrest Cena as the match is thrown out.

Cena is arrested for destroying JBL’s limo and the trash talk is on as the cops take Cena away. JBL does put a hand on Cena so Cena can get a shoulder to the ribs. That earns him a low blow and a You Can’t See Me from JBL to end the show. JBL had to get in a little something on Cena before Wrestlemania.

Overall Rating: D+. The Rey/Eddie stuff was good but other than that, they were out of ideas for Wrestlemania a few weeks ago so it’s quite the relief to finally get to the show. The stuff that has nothing to do with Sunday plus the sumo wrestling thing made me want to fast forward instead of see Wrestlemania. They did a good job with one match though and Eddie vs. Rey needed the help. The last few weeks have not been kind to Wrestlemania, but Sunday is all that matters so it might be all right in the end.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – March 24, 2005: Not A Wrestling Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 24, 2005
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have two Smackdowns left before Wrestlemania and it seems that they’re running out of ways to hide the fact that John Cena is becoming WWE Champion. You can only go so long before it’s the most obvious result in the world (other than Batista beating HHH that is) and we’ve been there for a few weeks now. It would be a good idea to focus on some other things this week so hopefully WWE gets the idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tonight: a debate between Cena and JBL. Well JBL is better at talking than he is wrestling.

Tazz brings Big Show to the ring for a chat. After recapping what is going on (a sumo wrestler challenged Show and Show accepted), Tazz hypes up next week’s weigh-in with Akebono. Show doesn’t care if Akebono weighs more than he does because he’s still bigger. Cue Luther Reigns in a jeep to interrupt and this isn’t going to end well.

Reigns talks about how Show is in over his head and has no chance of winning because he’s smaller and inexperienced (the man has a point). That’s going to embarrass Theodore Long, Smackdown and the whole locker room, including Reigns himself. It should be Reigns facing Akebono, but he has an idea. This jeep weighs 4,400 pounds and Reigns is going to flip it over with his bare hands.

That is as much of a failure as you can imagine so Reigns hits the ring for the brawl. Show doesn’t have time for this and chokeslams him in short order. Before leaving though, he (eventually) turns over the jeep as expected (with a last second camera switch). This was as much of an effort as you could get to make a sumo match interesting and it didn’t work, mainly because it’s an attempt to hype up a sumo match.

Eddie Guerrero tells Chavo to leave but Chavo says they’re family. Eddie: “Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t.” Chavo asks Eddie what happened last week, with Eddie saying Rey got the pin because he was the legal man. Chavo wants to know what legal has to do with the Guerreros but Eddie doesn’t want to hear it. Maybe he should listen to himself though, because Chavo knows Eddie needs to know who the better man is. That gets Eddie thinking.

Classic Hulk Hogan Moment: Wrestlemania IX. Still one of the all time dumb moments.

Sylvester Stallone will be inducting Hogan into the Hall of Fame. And make sure to watch his new show the Contender.

Orlando Jordan vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Non-title. Hold on though as JBL takes Scotty out but Scotty fights back and hits the Worm on JBL. That’s too far for JBL and we have a change.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Non-title again and the beating is on in a hurry, including the fall away slam. The Clothesline finishes Scotty in about a minute.

Kurt Angle has a special surprise.

Here’s Theodore Long to talk about how much fun we’ve been having tonight. He has another idea though and brings out Elvis, as played by Carlito. He comes out to what sounds like Cool Cocky Bad in Spanish and promises to prove that he’s a better singer than this Elvis guy. Carlito speaks the opening words to Jailhouse Rock and then storms off when the fans aren’t happy.

Eddie has an idea for Mysterio at Wrestlemania: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Rey likes the idea and then realizes that Eddie is serious. Eddie wants him to think about it but they’ve got a title defense tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

Holly and Haas are challenging…..and we have a gong. Undertaker appears on screen to say that many dragons have laid siege to his kingdom over the years. Randy Orton has tried to use him to make a point and has sealed his own destiny. All Orton has done is wake him up and tonight, there will be a sacrifice. And now, for the title match.

Eddie and Holly start things off with Guerrero taking him to the mat and grabbing a headlock. With that not working, Haas and Mysterio come in….and we have more thunder and lightning. We take a break and come back with Mysterio being snapmared into a double arm crank. Rey gets out of the corner and hits the springboard seated senton for a breather.

Eddie comes back in to pick up the pace with the headscissors and the Three Amigos to Haas. It’s too early for the full nelson though and Holly grabs a full nelson slam for two. A whip knocks Rey off the apron and Charlie busts out the Haas of Pain (I miss that one). It’s Rey coming back in with the springboard save so Eddie pops Rey up into a super hurricanrana to Haas. Now the frog splash can retain the time.

Rating: C. This was about the storytelling more than the wrestling, which was kind of clear when it was Holly and Haas getting the title shot. Eddie gets to feel a little better as he got the pin for a change but something like this never ends well for either partner involved. The match is going to be awesome but it’s probably going to mean new champions and given this level of competition, I don’t know who could take them.

Post match, Rey accepts the challenge for Wrestlemania and Eddie is happy.

Classic Steve Austin Moment: Austin Meets Mike Tyson.

And now, here’s Kurt Angle to Shawn Michaels music in Shawn style gear (though the HBK shirt is crossed out) but he waves someone out. That would be Sensational Sherri and Cole sounds terrified. Angle even strikes Shawn’s pose (though he leans in the wrong direction) and promises to show how he’s a bigger star than Shawn. That’s why he’s brought out Shawn’s first manager, even though Angle didn’t need a manager when he won a gold medal. Every time you hear Shawn’s music you hear Sherri’s voice. Well Angle thinks that song sucks so he’s going to do it better.

Angle then belts out his own version of Sexy Boy, saying he has the moves, including the ankle lock and declaring his sexiness (“I’m just a sexy Kurt. I’ll make your ankle hurt!”). Shawn cuts him off from the screen and says he isn’t surprised by this and we get a Shawn highlight package. Back in the arena, Angle thinks Sherri is laughing and puts her in the ankle lock. She could probably take him in a good fight so he might want to break both ankles.

This was hilarious and some of the best proof of how outstanding Kurt can be with comedy. He sold the heck out of this and the dancing made it even better. I’ve always remembered this one and it more than holds up. Oh and Shawn’s highlight package is outstanding because he’s Shawn Michaels and has more great matches than almost anyone ever.

Dawn Marie vs. Michelle McCool

Dawn jumps her to start and goes straight to the middle turnbuckle pad. Michelle takes her down to start the cat fighting portion and Dawn’s top comes off before the first two count. A headbutt puts Michelle down and Undertaker makes the lights flicker again. Dawn sends her into the buckle and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin. I’m glad that is settled.

Carlito is leaving and threatens to beat up Funaki if he tells Long about it.

Taxi Driver Wrestlemania trailer. Still a good one.

You can vote for the Movie Trailer Awards!

Booker T. vs. Rene Dupree

Booker gets in an early kick to the face for two but Rene stomps him down in the corner. We hit the French Tickler but there’s the gong again. This time Undertaker is actually here to destroy Dupree as Booker walks off. The Tombstone onto the steps destroyed Dupree.

It’s time for the possibly above average debate between JBL and John Cena. As Cena wraps the chain around his hand, JBL wants Long to reinforce the rules from last week. That’s fine with Long, but if JBL physically provokes Cena, he can fight back. The first question goes to JBL, who is asked why he’s the better choice to be WWE Champion. JBL sucks up to the Memphis fans and talks about how great he is. Yeah HHH is a ten time champion but that means he’s lost nine times. JBL is the only champion in history to never lose his title (uh…..) and has held the title longer than anyone in ten years.

Cena asks why a rich and successful man like JBL is driving around in a broken down limo. JBL doesn’t understand so Cena goes to the floor and stabs a tire. With Long insisting that there is nothing wrong with this as Cena isn’t touching JBL, Cena busts out some spray paint and writes JBL SUCKS on the side. Cena: “I see a limo that says JBL sucks! YOU DROVE OUT HERE IN A LIMO THAT SAYS JBL SUCKS!”

Cena gets back in the ring and tells JBL to do something about it but JBL is ready for the next question. That would be “how important is one’s social and economic upbringing in being champion”. JBL rants about the rich being better for America and the only way Cena will have that kind of money is winning the lottery or turning to crime. Cena knows JBL doesn’t think much of how he dresses so maybe it’s time for a suit and tie. Since his pants have no limits, Cena busts out a big pair of scissors and cuts off JBL’s tie, which he puts into his chain. That’s not going to work either as he feels too much like a banker.

JBL’s jacket comes off and Cena sticks out his jaw but JBL turns him down. Back to the podiums with Cena cutting off Long’s question by asking what he has to do to get JBL to hit him. This time Cena steals JBL’s ten gallon hat (JBL: “I hate you.”) and wants to know if it holds ten gallons. Cena takes the pitchers of water from the table and pours it in the hat, which holds less than a gallon. With JBL’s lying confirmed, Cena puts the hat full of water back on his head.

The fight is nearly on with Cena saying JBL looks ridiculous. Cena busts out more spray paint and puts a yellow streak up the back of JBL’s shirt. A red FU (the third color of paint Cena has had) on the front of the shirt is Cena’s preview for Wrestlemania to end the show. This was WAY too long at nearly twenty minutes and Cena isn’t ready to do that kind of talking just yet. It wasn’t terrible at all and helped reinforce the story but they’ve established everything already and this didn’t add anything new.

Overall Rating: D+. This is absolutely not a wrestling show and that’s ok in a case like this. Other than Rey vs. Eddie finally being established, this was a lot of building up matches that were already set, making this a pretty skippable show (classic Angle segment aside). We’re wading through that weird period where the card is ready and there is nothing left to do but get to Wrestlemania, but we’re not all the way there just yet. This is a great example of a show where you could get by on the highlights and while it flew by, there isn’t much to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Monday Night Raw – July 23, 2007: The Bad Way To The Good Ending

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2007
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Great American Bash and that means John Cena is still the World Champion followed a pretty big match showdown against Bobby Lashley. The next stop is Summerslam, but we have about a month to go before then so there is plenty of time to get things ready. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Acting General Manager Coach brags about last night’s show but we’re looking towards Summerslam. Tonight he’s going to be watching every show and seeing who belongs in the title match. I think I remember where this one goes.

Opening sequence, which is so much more energetic than today’s stuff.

There’s a table in the ring with a bowl of fruit and a big throne set up, so here are Sharmell and King Book-ah. After a look at Book-ah and Lawler getting in a pull apart brawl last week, Book-ah asks Jerome if they can settle their issue like gentlemen. Lawler gets in the ring and sits at his end of the table, which has no tablecloth, bar stool, a coffee mug and a doughnut with a bite taken out of it (ok that’s funny).

Lawler’s mic doesn’t work so Booker talks about how he earned the crown last year and now Lawler is calling himself the King without earning it. The same is true of the Sacramento Kings you see and they should really be the Sacramento Peasants. Booker asks who should be king until Lawler asks if he’s done. Sharmell cuts him off with an ALL HAIL KING BOOKER but Lawler eventually calls Booker a pompous royal pain. That’s too far with Booker and the fight is on with Lawler sending him outside.

Mickie James/Maria vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Maria has Santino Marella with him and he sits in on commentary. Beth charges into Mickie’s elbow to start and gets taken down with a hurricanrana out of the corner. Mickie gets taken into the corner and stomped down but Melina gets double backdropped. Beth gets in a cheap shot from behind though and it’s Maria in trouble, including a chinlock.

The double chickenwing makes Maria scream (Santino: “Oh Mama Mia!”) and Melina rubs her face on the mat. Maria gets up and brings in Mickie for the Thesz press on Melina. A high crossbody gives Maria two with Beth making the save. Santino trips Beth and Melina, allowing Maria to bulldog Melina for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a weird time for the women’s division as it’s completely forgotten but they were trying. There is a fine line between the depths of the women’s division which are just embarrassing and barely even wrestling and this, which was just dull. I’ll take this every day and they were trying to make some new stars. That’s a lot better than a thirty second match with two moves if you’re lucky. Maria wasn’t great, but the other three all looked solid. Just get rid of Santino.

Video on Cena vs. Lashley.

Gerald Brisco gives Cody Rhodes a pep talk before his rematch with Randy Orton. Cue Orton to say Dusty didn’t teach Cody common sense, which doesn’t sit well with Cody. Orton didn’t Punt Dusty last night because he was afraid. Tonight, Orton will just take out the anger on Cody instead. Cody is given a chance to back out but Cody will see him out there. There’s some fire in Cody, even if it’s just his second week.

Snitsky is ready to hurt people for his own pleasure. Brush your teeth man.

John Cena tells Todd Grisham to close his eyes and imagine Candice Michelle walking towards him and being ready to team with him. She says they can wrestle (Grisham likes the idea) but then the cast of Brokeback Mountain and a huge Samoan who smells like urinal cakes comes in and starts a fight. That’s what Cena is having to deal with tonight. Then he has to worry about the next #1 contender, but come get it.

Carlito/William Regal vs. Sandman/Jim Duggan

This….might be the most amazing tag match of all time. Sandman and Regal start (what a pair) with Regal driving him back into the corner. Coach is shown watching in the back because we’re supposed to believe that these four are #1 contender contenders. Regal unloads with some left hands but Sandman backdrops him down, allowing the tag off to Duggan. That means big right hands (from the only right hander in the match) in the corner as JR isn’t sure what to make of this one. Duggan misses a charge into the corner and takes the Backstabber for the fast pin. Amazing while it lasted.

Post break Carlito thinks he should be #1 contender. He loads up the apple and spits….right onto Lashley. Carlito runs into the arena and says accidents happen sometimes so he’s here to publicly apologize. If Lashley accepts his apology, don’t say or do anything. Cue Lashley to jump over the steps and plant Carlito with the running powerslam. That should get him back on track.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

No Dusty in Cody’s corner this time. Orton headlocks him down but Cody is right back up, earning himself some forearms to the back. A crossbody out of the corner gets one (which isn’t a near fall JR) on Orton and a sunset flip out of the corner gives Cody the same. Orton snaps off the backbreaker and kicks Cody in the head as the limited mercy is long gone.

Cody gets a rollup for two but Orton blasts him with a clothesline for the same. The required chinlock goes on for a shorter time than usual and Cody is back with the drop down right hand to stagger Orton. A top rope clothesline misses though and Orton finishes with the RKO.

Rating: C-. Cody is trying here and has the fire that he needs but there was no way he was going to beat someone like Orton, either at this point or even a few years from now. Orton was on a roll at this point and while beating someone like Cody might not seem like the biggest deal, it was the way that he did it that matters.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt but Dusty runs in for the save. Dusty checks on Cody but lowers his head, allowing Orton to get in the Punt. You can hear the fans (and JR) get serious on that one and rightfully so. The replay makes it look even better and Dusty does a stretcher job.

Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy

Before the match, Kennedy says he’s about to become #1 contender. Jeff takes him into the corner to start and dodges a slap as the feeling out process begins. Kennedy goes for the arm as JR talks about how proud he was of Jeff last night against Umaga. The armbar is reversed so Kennedy forearms him in the chest, only to miss a dropkick. The legdrop between the legs….connects but Jeff goes down so Kennedy can get two.

Kennedy misses some kicks to the head so Jeff hits the legdrop between the legs for….no count as Kennedy’s shoulder was off the mat. What a weird exchange. They fight over a hammerlock, which suggests to me that they’re trying to get on the same page. Jeff sends him outside for a slingshot flip dive and we take a break. Back with Kennedy hitting an Alabama Slam out of the corner for two and the high pitched squeals erupt on the kickout. The front facelock stays on Jeff’s neck and a messed up neckbreaker gets two.

The cravate keeps Hardy in trouble until he breaks away and goes up top….where he falls down without being touched. That’s only good for two and the pop for the kickout is strong. Back up and Jeff hits the Twist of Fate (what he appeared to be trying before), setting up the slingshot dropkick in the corner. Jeff’s facebuster looks to set up the Swanton so Kennedy bails to the floor. That’s fine with Jeff, who runs the barricade for the clothesline before sending Kennedy into the set. Jeff remembers how to count though and runs down the ramp to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C. Kennedy is one of those guys where I never quite got the huge appeal (outside of one moment in 2008). I get why they would want to push him but this wasn’t anything great. The fan reactions to Jeff alone show you how they’re ready to pull the trigger on him, but it would still be a good while before that took place.

Dusty Rhodes was taken to the hospital with Cody riding in the back with him. Jim Duggan was there as the ambulance pulled away for a cameo.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Benjamin gets in an early cheap shot on Kendrick, who is fine enough to hit a middle rope armdrag on Haas. Kendrick has to dive onto Benjamin on the floor though and it’s Shelton taking over back inside. The chinlock fires Kendrick up again so Shelton kicks him in the head. Kendrick enziguris Haas to even things up and it’s the hot tag to London to clean house. The double dropkick puts Shelton on the floor but Kendrick misses his dive. That leaves Shelton to jump over Haas onto London’s back, setting up a bridging German suplex to give Haas the pin.

Rating: C-. Londrick was a good team but their time had come and gone. The World’s Greatest Tag Team reunion felt like something that could have gone somewhere but I never bought it as having the longest shelf life. Their time had come and gone, though they certainly had some value, even if it was in the short term.

We look at Orton Punting Dusty again. They’re not hiding where the ending is going here.

Here’s King Book-Ah again, with Queen Sharmell threatening Lawler for his earlier rudeness. Next week it’s Lawler vs. Book-Ah in a match that should help set up Summerslam.

Coach is ready to go tell the #1 contender about his pick when Candice Michelle comes in. She begs to not be put in a match with Umaga but Coach says she’s a champion. Fair point indeed.

Umaga/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Candice Michelle/John Cena

Non-title, No DQ and everyone is a champion. Candice looks terrified and even Cena’s music doesn’t seem to make her feel better. Never the brightest guy in the world, Cena charges in and gets triple teamed down. We settle down to a regular handicap with Cade and Murdoch pounding Cena down.

Umaga comes in and hammers away but hands it back to Murdoch, with Cena managing to fight back. That just earns Cena a swinging Rock Bottom from Umaga to cut the comeback off in a hurry. Cade and Murdoch chase Candice inside and catch her in the corner but here’s Jeff Hardy to blast Umaga with a chair over and over. Candice runs away so Cena can post Cade and Murdoch, with the latter taking the FU for the pin.

Rating: D. Those chair shots from Hardy were scary with all of the unprotected shots to the head, but they were the only memorable parts of the match. This was all a way to have Cena in the ring to set up the post match stuff and while that might not be the most entertaining idea in the world, it served its purpose and let us look at Candice so it’s not a complete disaster.

Post match Cena turns into the RKO and here’s Coach to name Orton as the #1 contender. I’m as shocked as you are.

Overall Rating: D+. This was all about setting up Orton as the #1 contender but since that was obvious for about half of the show, there is only so much that you can ask for out of the whole thing. They’re setting up Summerslam well enough though and that’s where this is all leading. Orton is LONG overdue to get back into the title hunt so the ending is a good choice. They needed a better way to get there though and that holds the show back.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – March 17, 2005: That Was Good And What Was That?

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 17, 2005
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

We’re rapidly closing in on Wrestlemania and this week will focus on the build towards the two big interpromotional matches. Tonight we have Kurt Angle vs. Marty Jannetty as Kurt tries to prepare for Shawn Michaels, plus the contract signing for Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. For once, I’m looking forward to all of the big stuff. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going. He liked what Shawn Michaels did on Raw and it seemed like a way to get Marty ready for tonight, but there is no way to prepare for an Olympic gold medalist. Shawn can find that out at Wrestlemania but Marty is finding out right now.

Kurt Angle vs. Marty Jannetty

They’re starting fast and the fans are behind Marty early on. Angle takes over with a hammerlock but misses an elbow drop. Marty gets kicked away but nips up and it’s an early standoff. A headlock takeover keeps Marty in trouble though as he can’t do much to escape. Back up and Marty works on the arm again as Cole talks about Marty’s accomplishments. Why being the Intercontinental Champion isn’t mentioned isn’t clear.

Angle takes him down again without much effort but Marty reverses right back into an armbar. A toss to the floor is countered with a skinning of the cat into a headscissors to send Angle outside. Cole calls this “the fight of Angle’s life” as we take a break. Cole isn’t a history buff. Back with Angle holding a waistlock, which he switches into a waistlock to mix things up a bit.

Since these holds aren’t exactly interesting, Angle snaps off a German suplex for two and it’s right back to a waistlock to stay on the ribs. Jannetty finally fights up and hits a DDT for a much needed breather (and a much needed anything else than another hold on the ribs). A spinwheel kick drops Angle and a hurricanrana out of the corner puts him down again.

Marty hits a high crossbody but Angle rolls through and hits a German suplex. The Angle Slam and ankle lock are both broken up and a rollup gives Marty a close two. Now the ankle lock goes on full but Marty rolls him into the buckle for the break. Angle isn’t having that and puts it right back on, this time with the grapevine for the tap.

Rating: C. I know this match has some fond memories and the last five minutes are good, but almost everything before that is Angle holding him on the mat. I don’t know if that was just to extend the match but it was little more than the same style hold over and over. Marty looked better near the end, though it’s not like this was some all time performance. The ending helped bring it back up, but it wasn’t enough to make this any kind of a special match.

Theodore Long is in his office to respond to John Cena giving him the FU last week. It is his responsibility to give us the best in action and entertainment but no one can put their hands on him. JBL comes in to interrupt him mid speech and says he’s rather happy that Long is going to take away Cena’s title shot. Not so fast though as Long isn’t suspending Cena, but if he touches JBL before Wrestlemania, he loses the title shot. That is, unless it’s in a sanctioned match, like tonight when Cena is teaming with Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio to face JBL and the Bashams. We get a classic annoyed JBL face before he storms off, leaving Long to dance.

Chavo Guerrero comes up Eddie, asking if he’s seen Rey. Chavo wants to know what happened to Eddie, who is a disappointment to the family. See, Rey is holding Eddie back because Rey beat him over and over before Eddie agreed to team with him. Chavo: “If you can’t beat him, join him right?” Eddie tells him to get out of here but Chavo says either stop acting like this or stop calling yourself a Guerrero. Chavo leaves and Eddie throws a chair.

Since it’s St. Patrick’s Day, Torrie Wilson and Joy Giovanni are in green as they take pictures with the fans. Joy looks like she’s about to scream.

Booker T. vs. Luther Reigns

During the entrance, Booker kisses his new wife Sharmell, who is sitting in the front row. Heidenreich comes out to do commentary because we’re STILL not done with Heidenreich vs. Booker. Reigns misses an early clothesline but grabs a hot shot to set up the second clothesline for two.

Heidenreich is silent on commentary (I can live with this) as Reigns grabs a neck crank, followed by another clothesline for some more twos. The chinlock goes on as we’re two minutes in and somehow have run through most of Reigns’ offense. Booker suplexes his way to freedom and grabs a spinebuster to put Reigns down again. The superkick into the Spinarooni sets up the ax kick to finish Reigns.

Rating: D. How you can run out of offense that soon isn’t clear but leave it to Reigns to figure out a way to make it work. Reigns just isn’t working and there isn’t much of a way to make him look like any more than a clueless putz. Booker has nothing going on before Wrestlemania but leaving him off of the show is better than a showdown with Heidenreich.

Post match Heidenreich reads a poem about Booker showing him the light with the chair shot. Now he has a new way to live his life. Can that way of life involve a career change?

Wrestlemania trailer, this time featuring When Harry Met Sally. Linda McMahon doing the “I’ll have what she’s having” line might be the funniest thing she’s ever done in WWE. Take that for what it’s worth.

Long is in the ring for the Undertaker/Randy Orton contract signing. We get a quick intro but here’s Eric Bischoff to interrupt. Bischoff promises Raw dominance at Wrestlemania so here’s Orton, who will bring Raw a huge victory. We see one single fan cheering for Orton, which just makes things feel sad. Long handles Undertaker’s entrance, which takes as long as you would expect it to.

Undertaker signs without saying anything and hands the contract to Orton. You can’t get through a contract signing so simply though as Orton says Undertaker will be 12-1 soon. Orton is unlike the rest of his opponents because he isn’t afraid. Everyone says facing Undertaker is like facing no one on earth, but facing Orton is what’s unlike anything else. Orton signs and slaps Undertaker in the face, which just isn’t that bright. Undertaker starts shaking and the lights flicker, followed by the fire exploding behind Orton. That’s never a good sign.

Jackie Gayda and Lauren Jones take more pictures in the crowd.

Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

It feels like we haven’t seen a cruiserweight match in a long time. Kidman takes him into the corner to star as the announcers immediately switch over to talking about Undertaker vs. Orton. Fair enough in this case though at least try to make it sound a little less obvious. London grabs a sunset flip for two and hits a dropsault for the same. A dropkick breaks up London’s springboard though and it’s time to work on the back. We hit the chinlock with a knee in London’s back, which starts the comeback as London hits another dropsault. The 450 finishes Kidman in a hurry.

Rating: C-. London is the current #1 contender after winning a match on Velocity so this wasn’t exactly shocking. The cruiserweight division barely exists anymore but it’s a nice way to fill in some time, when WWE remembers that they exist. Pushing London is as good as pushing anyone else, assuming it actually goes anywhere.

Carlito is working the concession stand this week and that means reading the paper. He eventually sells a kid a hot dog but sprays ketchup on him for requesting change. An adult complains and gets some spit.

Classic Steve Austin moment: crushing Rock’s Lincoln.

Here’s Big Show for a chat. He’s never been in a sumo match before but he’s the one person Akebono can’t push around. That is all.

Orlando Jordan tells JBL to not be worried about tonight’s six man.

Raw Rebound.

Dawn Marie is in the crowd this time but gets in a fight with Michelle McCool. It’s quickly broken up as we continue a string of what feels like filler material.

Wrestlemania rundown.

JBL comes up to Cena and tries to provoke him into violence. He knows that Cena wants to be rich like him because Cena came from a poor family where his mama had to sleep with the landlord to pay the rent. Cena says JBL is as stupid as he looks and he can wait five minutes for the bell to ring. Thanks for the motivation though.

Video on Christy Hemme’s Playboy.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Basham Brothers vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio/John Cena

Historical note: My Time Is Now makes its debut. Cena makes sure to wait for the bell before slugging away at JBL to start but he has to settle for a hiptoss on Danny when the champ bails. A little dancing sets up an early Shuffle for two and it’s a heavily cheered Eddie coming in with a slingshot hilo. The springboard headscissors/armdrag takes both Bashams down at the same time and we take a break.

Back with Eddie bringing Rey in, much to Cena’s….I think annoyance? Shock maybe? Rey’s springboard crossbody gets two on Doug but the Bashams get him into the corner. That means JBL can come in so Rey gets straight over to Cena, sending JBL bailing to the floor. Cena gets to suplex Danny instead as the powder keg continues to simmer. The fans still want Eddie as Rey comes back in for the 619 to Danny. Doug throws him into the barricade though and it’s JBL coming in for a swinging neckbreaker.

The fall away slam, with a glare to Mysterio, gets no cover so it’s back to the Bashams to take turns on Rey. A double flapjack sets up a front facelock, which is escaped in a hurry for the tag off to Cena. That means house can be cleaned but JBL reverses a whip to send him into the steps. Rey dives onto JBL, leaving Eddie to hit Three Amigos to Doug Basham. Eddie goes up for the frog splash but Rey Drops The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the storytelling match more than anything else and the stories they’re advancing worked well. Pushing the idea of Cena being ready to explode on JBL is as good of an idea as they have as Cena winning the title isn’t much of a secret anymore (if it ever was). Rey getting the pin after Eddie did most of the work wasn’t talked about but it’s a perfect way to move things forward.

Post match Cena grabs a chair but realizes the bell has rung and can’t do it. He hits Danny over and over instead as JBL cowers. Cena says you can’t see me to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. What a weird show at times with a bunch of stuff that came and went, plus stories that feel like they belong in the middle of June when there is nothing going on rather than two and a half weeks before Wrestlemania. Did we really need the Divas deal or the cruiserweight match or Booker and Heidenreich (AGAIN)? What matters here is they moved the bigger stories, with JBL vs. Cena all but set and Eddie’s issues with Rey starting to take shape. This would have been a great hour long show but for what we got, it only worked well enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – July 16, 2007: The Time Machine Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2007
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was a request and one of several shows I’ve been asked to do from this era. It’s one of the times that I don’t remember very well whatsoever, which is always a fun thing to see. We’re less than a month removed from the Chris Benoit tragedy and that means things have kind of reset a bit. This is the go home show for the Great American Bash so we’ll get some buildup for a not very important pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

HHH’s (who has been gone since January due to a torn quad) music starts us off but it’s King Booker and Queen Sharmell instead. There is one king around here and that is of course King Booker. Oh sorry. King Book-ah. However, there is someone who seems interested in a claim to the crown, which brings Booker to Lawler. Since Book-ah is the real king, Lawler must cease referring to himself as such. Lawler isn’t buying that as, you know, he’s been the King for thirty years.

That’s not cool with Booker, because a kingdom divided cannon stand. Lawler finally gives in and says he won’t call himself the King anymore, but Booker wants him to kiss the ring. Shockingly enough, that’s not happening so Booker orders Lawler. That’s enough to get Lawler to his feet so Book-ah punches him in the face, only to have Lawler get in a few shots of his own as we’re likely to have a match tonight. Nice segment, with Booker logically being annoyed at another king.

Ric Flair picks John Cena to beat Bobby Lashley at the Great American Bash. This seems to be a theme tonight.

Lawler looks ready to fight.

We look back at Umaga destroying Santino Marella last week to retain the Intercontinental Title.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Santino Marella vs. William Regal

Elimination rules with the winner getting a shot at Umaga on Sunday. Charlie Haas is here with Shelton. This is before Santino had become a comedy goof so he’s just a boring guy in trunks at the moment. Santino and Regal fight to the floor with Jeff fighting out of the corner until stereo crossbodies put he and Shelton down. Regal and Marella get back in with Santino punching Shelton down until Regal hits the knee trembler to get rid of Santino for the first elimination.

Jeff hammers on Regal in the corner but gets caught with an electric chair from Shelton. We take a break and come back with Jeff getting double suplexed, leaving Regal and Benjamin to argue over the pin. In an elimination match because they’re not that bright. Regal throws Benjamin down with a suplex and drops a knee on Jeff for two. A collision out of the corner puts Regal and Benjamin down so Jeff is back up to some VERY high pitched cheers. Benjamin gets kicked to the floor but Jeff misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The knee trembler misses Jeff though and it’s a Twist of Fate to get us down to two.

Benjamin is right back in with a top rope Blockbuster for two and the fans are rather pleased on the kickout. A Whisper in the Wind sends Shelton outside and Jeff dives onto Haas and Benjamin. The Swanton misses though because Jeff can’t keep the momentum going for that long. Shelton loads up a piledriver but gets rolled up to give Jeff the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. Hardy was the only realistic winner here and a match against the monster should be a good moment. This just felt a little more energized than most modern matches and that made for a nice opener. The ans were completely behind Hardy here and it’s easy to see why he was going to get the rocket attached to his back very soon.

Edge isn’t sure on Cena vs. Lashley because he has no history with Lashley. He has history with Cena and can’t stand him, but he knows how tough Cena is. Cena retains.

Randy Orton has challenged Cody Rhodes to a match tonight and it’s time to kill a legend before it starts (Cody only debuted earlier in the month and hasn’t actually wrestled yet). Vince McMahon would agree these days. Orton is ready to destroy Dusty Rhodes on Sunday and wants him out there tonight for a preview.

Maria tries to make Santino feel better because he’s not a loser. Santino talks about watching Transformers and thinks he feels like he doesn’t belong here. Then she makes him feel better. Come spend the night with him and he’ll make her pancakes in the morning. She’s good with that.

Batista can’t decide but goes with Lashley. The fans are the winners though.

The bald Snitsky likes to hurt people as much as he likes to win matches. It’s weird but he can’t help himself. His opponents’ pain is his pleasure.

Snitsky vs. Val Venis

Val still had a job in 2007??? Venis gets a boot up in the corner to start but gets sent chest first into the buckle to put him in trouble. The pumphandle slam finishes Val in a hurry.

Post match Val gives him a second pumphandle slam. Commentary focusing on Snitsky’s bad teeth show you how far he’s going to go.

Cody is ready for his in-ring debut but knows he can never be a bigger star than his dad. You can’t RKO away Dusty’s legacy but as for tonight, Cody is going to make a first impression.

Lawler is in the ring with a bull rope for a preview of Orton vs. Dusty in Sunday’s Texas Bull rope match. The rules are explained with Lawler talking about how many horrible, violent things he’s seen Dusty do in these matches over the years. And then Orton comes out for his match.

Video on Orton being a psycho and punting various people in the head.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

This is Cody’s in-ring debut, which is almost hard to fathom. Dusty is out with Cody, as he should be. Cody gets in a left hand to the jaw to start but gets clotheslined down as the beating begins. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and Dusty is looking rather concerned, as he should.

The comeback is cut off by a snap powerslam and some forearms to the chest make it even worse. Orton grabs the chinlock for a bit until Cody fights up with right hands and a missile dropkick for two. That’s it again though as Orton grabs the backbreaker and Dusty’s emotional roller coaster continues. The RKO connects to finally put Cody away.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as Cody wasn’t going to be any kind of threat. What kept my attention here was Dusty, who worked the crowd into a near frenzy, just by going through every possible emotion in a seven minute match. The look on his face when Cody was making his comeback and then getting the near fall sold the whole thing, because Dusty can sell you anything he wants without breaking a sweat. Not a good match, but great emotion.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt but Dusty breaks it up.

Steve Austin picks Cena but really isn’t sure.

Melina vs. Mickie James

Rating: D+. The women’s division was trying at this point and this was one of the better matchups they had, but what can you do in about three minutes? Candice wasn’t the most intimidating champion so they weren’t building to much, but they were certainly trying to get somewhere at this point so points for giving it a shot.

Smackdown Rebound.

Regal comes in to see Jim Duggan to talk about Jonathan Coachman liking Duggan’s board. This turns into a series of jokes about hard things going into Regal’s hand. Ron Simmons comes in for the joke, which is still funny.

Mick Foley picks Lashley because Cena has to lose at some point.

Carlito vs. Sandman

2007 was weird as this is fallout from Sandman caning Carlito last week. Sandman works on a wristlock for the token wrestling so Carlito slugs him down. The neck crank goes on until Sandman comes back for a slam, only to have Regal come in for the DQ (as Sandman caned him last week as well).

Duggan makes the save, setting up a nightmare of a tag match that I need to see.

JBL picks Cena for the experience.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Rematch from two weeks ago when Kennedy ran his mouth too long and got pinned. Kennedy beat the fire out of him backstage last week to make himself feel better. Kennedy does his own entrance, while Super Crazy’s theme sums him up well: “I’M SUPER! I’M CRAZY! I’M SUPER CRAZY!”

An early shoulder puts Crazy down to start but he dropkicks the knee and hammers away in the corner. Kennedy punches him into the other corner and grabs an abdominal stretch to slow things down. With Lawler explaining that it hurts your abdominals, Crazy comes back with a slam and two of the three moonsaults. The third is broken up with a crotching though and a reverse superplex gives Kennedy the pin.

Rating: D. Well that was a big waste of a few weeks. Was there any need to have Kennedy deal with Super Crazy over the course of three weeks? Super Crazy was a jobber to the stars at best and that’s a lot less than what Kennedy should be doing. It was a nothing match too, as Kennedy won after shrugging off anything Crazy did. I don’t get this one and I think we’ll keep it that way.

Great American Bash rundown.

We look back at HHH tearing his quad in January. He’s coming back at Summerslam, apparently now as the Six Million Dollar Man (who was named Steve Austin on the show).

Coach is on the stage to moderate an in-ring podium debate between Cena and Lashley. Cena gets a very high pitched reaction. First up, we look at Cena getting speared during the recent contract signing. Cena is asked if he feels that his title reign is ending on Sunday, which is actually a year. It sounds like Cena is about to cry because that spear two weeks ago REALLY HURT. There’s no way he can win the match and the worst part is he never learned to read. Cena: “God bless America.”

That has to be a topical reference, though I get the “I award you no points” part. We get serious with Cena admitting that Lashley is more athletic than him, but he’s fought the best before. He’s won some and lost some but on Sunday, Lashley is getting Cena’s best. Lashley says if we want someone to hype the match, let Cena the hype man do it. He turns the podium over and says he’ll be ready to fight when Cena is done talking.

The fight is teased but Coach says this isn’t happening on his show. Lashley goes up the ramp but Cena says Lashley needs to be ready for the biggest match of his career. So he needs to get ready for Wrestlemania again? Cena knows that Lashley has a great resume and on Sunday he’ll put it to the test. Lashley comes back down and the fight is on to end the show. Good segment as they’re making Lashley feel like a real threat.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird look into the time capsule that was 2007. There were some rather strange characters and feuds in there, with stuff like Sandman, Super Crazy and Jim Duggan of all people getting TV time. Cena vs. Lashley felt like a one off match and while it felt big, it didn’t feel like it was going to be a game changed. The problem is that the Cena vs. Lashley stuff is just about the only good part of the entire show, which is from a completely forgotten time in the company’s history.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – March 10, 2005: The Wrestlemania Support System

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 10, 2005
Location: Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and that means this show is going to be more about John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield, which is almost all that matters from Smackdown. Odds are we’ll get some more on the interpromotional matches but John vs. John is the only exclusive Smackdown match that has gotten any focus so far. Maybe that changes tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at last week with JBL and the Cabinet costing Cena the US Title to Orlando Jordan in a smart and logical next step.

Here’s the Cabinet to open things up, complete with security, which hopefully coordinated with the Bashams. JBL talks about how they’ve done something cool every week and this week it’s time to honor someone who values respect. That would be Jordan, who won the US Title last week all by himself. The CENA chants begin and JBL tells them to stop cheering for the loser.

We hear a bit about Jordan’s past, growing up with several brothers and sisters in the inner cities. Jordan did the right thing: he turned his back on his family and here he is as the US Champion and the people in the seats watching him. JBL is a wrestling god and can show these people how great everything can be. Common people can never stand here with championships and….what is Jordan holding? JBL looks disturbed by the spinner title (well yeah) because common people like Cena put things like that on their cars instead of investing in education. That’s why we need to do what we’ll be seeing next.

A trashcan is brought in and, after a rant about what Cena has ruined about the title, JBL puts it in the can and lights the belt on fire (with the can exploding in something Kane would fine excessive). JBL presents the traditional US Title to Jordan and we get some solid heel posing. They kept this short and the segment and promo both worked. Thank goodness it wasn’t on Raw as HHH would have made it ten minutes longer.

Booker T. vs. Heidenreich

No DQ because WWE wants us to suffer. Heidenreich slugs Booker into the corner to start in the only thing he does remotely well. A knee to the ribs cuts Booker off and Heidenreich slowly stomps away in the corner. In a smart move, Booker kicks him low because he can get away with it here, sending the announcers into near hysterics over the pain.

Heidenreich seems fine as he sends Booker face first into the announcers’ table and then the post for a bonus. Back in and Heidenreich punches even more, followed by a hard clothesline for two. Heidenreich brings the chair in but takes too long crawling around, allowing Booker to ax kick him onto said chair. A scary chair shot to the head knocks Heidenreich cold for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was a conclusion to a story that didn’t warrant a second part, let alone a third, but it was an emphatic way to end things. However, it also (again) showed just how useless Heidenreich was in the ring. Most of his offense was punching and he looked incapable of doing anything beyond entry level stuff. Booker, as well as everyone else involved, deserves better than that.

We look back at Randy Orton challenging Undertaker for Wrestlemania.

Theodore Long isn’t sure what is going to happen when Cena gets here tonight. Carlito comes in and Long has a job for him: find out Undertaker’s response to Orton’s challenge. Do it or be fired.

Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero admire their Tag Team Titles when Chavo Guerrero comes in to wish them luck tonight. See, tonight JBL and Jordan have a Tag Team Title shot and Chavo wouldn’t want to be the only Guerrero with a title. Eddie: “No one’s grandma would be happy with that!” Chavo leaves and Eddie says it’s not his fault that Chavo is his nephew.

Carlito goes looking for Undertaker, because the only place he could be is in the bottom of the building. The lights go out and Carlito lets out a high pitched scream. A maintenance worker apologizes for turning them out because he didn’t know anyone was in there. That was kind of funny.

Mark Jindrak vs. Luther Reigns

Jindrak jumps him during the entrance but gets beaten down because Jindrak isn’t very good. They get inside with Reigns powering him down in the corner and pulling on the arm. Back up and Jindrak makes his comeback with every basic bit of offense you can imagine. A high crossbody gets two so Jindrak knocks him out with a left hand for the pin. Can these two be done already?

A ticked off Cena arrives, pipe in hand, and doesn’t want to be asked questions. Or maybe he just doesn’t like Josh Matthews.

Back from a break with Cena in the arena (makes sense because there would be no reason for him to wait in the back until after the commercial and wanting the noise killed. He and JBL both like to break things, but he likes to break faces instead of titles. So the Cabinet can get out here right now so we can handle this. No one comes out so Cena demands that they get out here so we can deal with this right now. Instead it’s Long coming out, saying he knows that Cena is a little razzle dazzled. Cena: “Razzle dazzled?”

Tonight Jordan and JBL have a Tag Team Title shot but Long has another idea: Cena can have his rematch for the US Title tonight. Cena would rather take all of them apart, but Long says we can’t have the Wrestlemania main event destroyed. That’s not cool with Cena, who thinks Long is sounding like JBL. Since that makes him part of the problem, Cena lays Long out with an FU. That didn’t quite fit with the rest of what Cena was saying, which was one of his first really serious main event promos, where Cena can excel.

Post break, Cena has been removed from the building.

It’s time for the Kurt Angle Invitational but this time around, the medal is above the ring. During Angle’s entrance, we see a clip from last week with a spot shadow on Shawn Michaels unmasking as a cameraman. Just in case you thought it was one of the people standing still and now revealing themselves to be a famous wrestler.

Angle talks about working hard to become an Olympic champion in 1994 but he kept hearing about this. We see a clip of the Wrestlemania ladder match, with Angle talking about how revered the match is. Angle knows he could put Shawn’s performance to shame, so tonight it’s a ladder match for the medal. Get an opponent out here.

Kurt Angle vs. Mike Haywood

Angle forearms him in the face to start and chokes with a knee in the back. The Angle Slam and an ankle lock let Kurt win probably the shortest ladder match in history.

Post match Angle sits on the ladder and says that wasn’t hard. He didn’t even use the ladder as a weapon. Now let’s jump to 1989, when Shawn made his Wrestlemania debut. We see a clip of the Rockers’ entrance before Angle says he’s arranged a match with Marty Jannetty next week. Shawn better be watching so he can learn what it’s like to tap out to Kurt.

Wrestlemania Recall: Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund are found with Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah. Bobby begging not to let them drag him back in is hilarious.

Big Show accepts Akebono’s challenge to a sumo match at Wrestlemania. Something I had forgotten: Big Show getting together with Joy is a bit more interesting when you remember she was mentioned as a wife and mother during the Diva Search.

Wrestlemania rundown. There is still just one Smackdown vs. Smackdown match.

Carlito is looking for Undertaker but Torrie Wilson scares him out of his wits. Since he can’t find Undertaker, he’ll have to call him out in the ring. That was a rather worthless waste of time.

Video on Christy Hemme’s Playboy shoot.

Here’s Carlito to call out Undertaker. He’s tired of this wild goose chase and now he needs an answer before he gets fired from Smackdown. Going to Raw is that out of the question for him? Anyway, it would be cool if Undertaker could give him an answer so there’s the gong. Undertaker does the full entrance, leaving Carlito to sheepishly ask about Orton’s challenge. Undertaker says that many have come at Wrestlemania, and like the rest of them, Orton will fall. The Tombstone leaves Carlito laying.

JBL tells the security to guard the hallway in case Cena comes back.

Hall of Fame video.

Next week: Orton and Undertaker sign the contract.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

Mysterio and Guerrero are defending and the Bashams are out here too. Eddie and JBL start things off with Eddie suckering him in with a slap to the face. Thankfully commentary doesn’t waste time getting to a discussion of JBL taking the title from him here in Virginia last year. Some armdrags send JBL outside so Jordan comes in and holds his arms up. Eddie isn’t impressed and pokes him in the eye as casually as you can.

Rey comes in for a sliding dropkick to the knee and some kicks to the head. Again commentary does well as they explain that Jordan hurt his leg at a show over the weekend (that would explain the half trunks/half shorts). A shoulder lets JBL come in and he has to lean rather far down to say something to Rey. The powerbomb attempt is countered with some right hands and it’s Eddie coming in with the slingshot hilo for two.

Eddie draws Jordan in so Rey can snap JBL’s throat across the rope and it’s more choking with the tag rope for a bonus. It’s back to Jordan, who actually has more success with punches and stomps in the corner. Rey’s comeback is cut off by a Bashams distraction and a big boot from JBL.

The Bashams are ejected for their efforts and we take a break. Back with JBL sending Rey outside with the fall away slam so Jordan can send him back first into the apron. The logical bearhug follows from JBL and Jordan gets in one of his own. Rey gets in a tornado DDT and brings Eddie back in as everything breaks down. The 619 is loaded up but JBL hits Rey in the knees with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were making sense for the most part though it was nothing more than a main event tag where we were waiting around for whatever Cena is going to do end the show. It was also clear that JBL and Jordan weren’t getting the other titles so close to Wrestlemania so while the wrestling was good, it was more about waiting around until the ending.

Post match the beatdown is on and here’s Cena to clean house, including the FU to Jordan as JBL bails into the crowd. A lot of glaring ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The JBL vs. Cena stuff has been very well put together as JBL is feeling the promos, but it’s incredible how little else Smackdown is offering Wrestlemania. Yeah there are the two big interpromotional matches and they’ve gotten some time on these shows, but hearing about Big Show in a sumo challenge isn’t quite the same as the introduction of Money in the Bank. Wrestlemania really is a two match show at its core, but Orton vs. Undertaker and Michaels vs. Angle are doing a lot of good to prop up the rest of the show. Throw in Money in the Bank and we’re looking at a pretty stacked card.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2016 (2017 Redo): The Wrestling Match

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,974
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

A year has passed since I saw this show and I can barely remember much about it. That’s very telling when you look at how stacked this show really is. There are multiple top level matches here and it really wasn’t clear what was going to close the show until the night of the event. Hopefully that means that this SIX HOUR show holds up. Let’s get to it.

So here’s a quick plug. I’m going through the pre-show and there’s a three expert panel of Booker T., Jerry Lawler and Lita. Earlier this year, I met all three of them at WrestleCon. If you’re ever at a Wrestlemania weekend, treat yourself to an amazing time and GO TO WRESTLECON. I met over 120 wrestlers in about four hours. Where else are you going to get to do something like that? Anyway, on with the show.

Pre-Show: American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Who would have thought that Breezango would be the most entertaining out of all these teams? This is pretty much the still titleless Smackdown tag division at this point as they had to bring in the Headbangers and throw together Heath Slater and Rhyno to be able to have a tournament. This is also a rematch from Smackdown, which shows how little effort they were putting into the tag division at this point.

Gable and Breeze start things and the fans are WAY into Gable. Chad twists around as only he can to escape a wristlock and it’s off to Jey, who is quickly driven into the corner. English comes in and says that he’s what a man is. That earns him a right hand to the jaw and it’s off to Mojo to work on a wristlock. Ryder comes in to quite the reaction as Mauro says the Hype Bros have more chemistry than the Periodic Table.

Everything breaks down (What took them so long?) and Ascension clears the ring, only to have American Alpha come off the top (the same corner) with double clotheslines (that’s pure Steiner Brothers). English posts Ryder though and we take a break. Back with Gotch putting Ryder in a chinlock, followed by Viktor doing the same. The other heels take turns stomping on Ryder until Breeze grabs his own chinlock. Fandango adds a slingshot legdrop as this is going WAY longer than it needs to.

JBL thinks cold beer uniting the APA is more effective than furry selfie sticks uniting Breezango but maybe he’s wrong. Ascension knocks the good guys off the apron but Viktor misses a charge in the corner, allowing Ryder to get in a neckbreaker on Konnor. The hot tag (with a limited reaction) brings in Jimmy to clean house.

Jordan gets the real hot tag and does his fired up sequence (which he really is awesome at) with a belly to belly getting two on Breeze. We hit the parade of secondary finishers as the referee is imploring them to tag. Mojo powerbombs Breeze and Viktor out of the corner and the Usos add stereo superkicks to set up stereo dives. Back in and Grand Amplitude plants Gotch, only to have Jey tag himself in for a Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:31. Gable is really not cool with that. Eh just wait until your team is split up for a pretty lame story where Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a few minutes from this, it’s a heck of an opener. There are too many people in the match of course but they kept it moving fast enough (for the most part) to really get something fun out of it. Jordan’s house cleaning spot is a heck of a way to fire the crowd up and it made the match more fun than it should have been. Tweak this a bit (eight/ten man tag or shorten the match a bit) and it’s even better.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

Sami works on D-Von’s arm to start and it’s off to Neville for more of the same. Both of them get in more shots as we hear about the rivalry over the NXT Title. I do appreciate the history, especially when Graves should know about that match very well. Bubba is sent outside but D-Von breaks up a springboard dive, allowing Bubba to nail Neville from behind to take over. The fans want tables but a back elbow to Neville’s jaw cuts them off in a hurry.

Back from a break with Bubba hitting his neckbreaker out of the corner. Things slow down even more as Bubba is talking even more than he usually does in a match. Bubba: “COME ON ENGLISH BOY! O-LAY! O-LAY!” The middle rope backsplash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. D-Von takes the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but the reverse 3D gets the same. Neville escapes the regular version though and we get some heel miscommunication. The Helluva Kick sets up the Red Arrow to put Bubba away at 7:55.

Rating: C-. That would be it for the Dudleys in WWE as they would have one more segment tomorrow night where Anderson and Gallows sent them packing. It’s also pretty much it for Sami and Neville as a team, which is quite odd as you would think they would be a fine choice for a team. The match was nothing you wouldn’t expect on Raw.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

You know, because two matches just weren’t enough for the pre-show. This is the first match of the Best of Seven Series, which really wasn’t too well received. After Cole says Cesaro is facing Cesaro and both Cole and Saxton say this is about establishing physical dominance, we’re ready to go. Sheamus misses a very early Brogue Kick but the spinning springboard uppercut is blocked as well.

Cesaro charges into an uppercut but comes back with a dropkick for one. The ten forearms to the chest are broken up so Sheamus clotheslines him onto the apron instead. It’s off to an armbar on Cesaro’s chronically taped up shoulder but Cesaro lifts him up into that kind of reverse Angle Slam of his. They’re certainly hitting each other hard here, which is pretty much the draw of the whole feud.

Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl slam and it’s off to a break. Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock because that rule even applies on pre-shows that will never end. The Irish Curse gives Sheamus two as Cole runs down the pay per view card, which only makes me think that there are FAR too many titles in WWE. They fight over a suplex and fall out to the floor in a heap. Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the running uppercuts in the corner, capped off by a dropkick to knock him off the ropes.

The apron superplex (which wasn’t from the apron) gets two but Sheamus counters the Neutralizer into White Noise for two. There’s the super Regal Roll for two more and frustration is really setting in. Another Brogue Kick attempt is countered by one heck of a clothesline though and Cesaro adds a high crossbody for two of his own. Cesaro tries the Sharpshooter but Sheamus gets to the ropes. Back up and a poke to the eye sets up the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 14:11.

Rating: B. They beat the heck out of each other and it was a fun match but it also brings up the problem: I’m not going to want to watch them fight six more times. No matter how good things are, having them happen so many times in a row over several weeks is going to get tiresome. It happens in all these series and it’s happening here too.

And now, after more wrestling than you get on an average Smackdown, here’s the actual pay per view.

The opening video looks at New York City, with the narrator telling you how AMAZING the city is. I’m not sure if New York City or Texas is worse about bragging about their home’s greatness. As usual, this switches over to a series of quick looks at the biggest matches on the card.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Well duh. That’s about as easy of a choice for an opener as you could ever find for this show. As you might expect, the crowd eats up the opening promo with a spoon and of course we hear a ton of New York City music references. Included are Frank Sinatra, Biggie Smalls and Jay-Z, plus more that probably go over my head. Cass adds in a few songs of his own as this is the only way this show could have opened. Since Graves is the best heel commentator in wrestling today though, he points out that Enzo is from New Jersey.

Jericho and Owens jump Enzo at the bell and the STUPID IDIOT chants start rolling. Enzo comes back with a crossbody and a running right hand to the jaw for two. It’s off to Cass, who drags Owens inside for a beal. That’s some scary power. Enzo gets launched into the corner to crush Jericho but the Canadians bail to the floor. That’s fine with Cass who tosses Enzo over the top onto them in a huge crash. I’ve always loved that spot as it just looks cool.

Back in and Enzo ax handles Owens but turns into a middle rope dropkick from Jericho. The Canadian violence begins with Owens kneeing Enzo from the apron and doing his dance on the apron in a rather funny visual. Owens’ comedic skills aren’t given enough credit more often than not. It’s back to Jericho for the Arrogant Cover and a chinlock with Owens telling Jericho to do it like he taught him.

Owens comes in and adds a gutbuster for two, followed by the running start for a chinlock. It takes real talent to turn a chinlock into an art form but Owens has somehow pulled it off. Enzo finally rolls away but Jericho is there to break up the diving tag attempt. Owens drops the frog splash for two and his stunned looked on the kickout is the usual awesome visual. Enzo gets pulled off the corner to make things even worse but, after blowing a kiss to Jericho, misses the Cannonball.

That means the hot tag to Cass and everything breaks down. Jericho dives into a big boot but Owens breaks up the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka. Cass gets posted on the floor and now the Cannonball against the barricade connects. Back in and Enzo scores with his top rope DDT on Jericho with Owens making the save. A pop up Codebreaker (didn’t look great as Jericho was too far away) ends Enzo at 12:09.

Rating: C+. Odd choice for an ending aside (not surprising of course but odd), this was a good way to get the crowd going. I could have gone for another hope spot from Enzo and more of Cass cleaning house but that pop up Codebreaker could have been a heck of a finisher if done right. Nice opener, though would it have killed them to put Enzo and Cass over in Brooklyn?

Smackdown bosses Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon run into Raw General Manager Mick Foley to brag about how awesome their shows are. Former Daily Show host Jon Stewart and his son come in to ask what Foley is thinking to work with Stephanie. He rants about abuse of power but realizes she’s right behind him. Stephanie yells at him about how great it is to abuse power but thankfully New Day comes up. As the Smackdown bosses and Foley much on cereal, New Day asks Jon if he’d like to do something. He gets out as fast as he can and Stephanie isn’t amused.

We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks. Sasha won the Women’s Title on the first exclusive show after the Brand Split and tonight is the rematch. The other big idea here is Charlotte never loses singles matches on pay per view and Banks has to recreate the magic one more time.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Some early WOOing sets up a slightly less early Bank Statement but Charlotte bails to the floor. Back in and Banks climbs the corner for a wristdrag before sending Charlotte face first into the middle buckle. Banks gets caught on top though and Charlotte basically drops her onto the ropes for a backbreaker which almost had to hurt horribly. The fact that Banks had a bad back coming in and Charlotte still did some rather sloppy moves like that got her in some hot water.

We hit a Gory Stretch on the champ for a bit but she comes back with a pair of running clotheslines. That just earns her another backbreaker and Charlotte stomps away at the back. The Figure Eight is broken up but Sasha misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Charlotte picks her up for a super Razor’s Edge but since that would, you know, kill Sasha, she reverses into a hurricanrana to put them both down.

Back up and a WOO earns Charlotte a string of slaps before Sasha avoids a charge in the corner and hits the double knees to the back for two. Charlotte kicks her in the leg to break up a charge but gets knocked outside again, setting up the double knees from the apron. Back in and the Backstabber doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement (thankfully too as the Natural Selection clearly didn’t send Sasha’s head anywhere near the mat).

Charlotte makes the rope for the break and takes out the knee again. Natural Selection gives Charlotte two so she yells about being better than Sasha. Another Bank Statement goes on but Charlotte reverses into a rollup for the pin and the title at 13:52. Saxton: “Just like that?”

Rating: B. This was just a straight match and that’s the key to the whole thing. The women are getting to show that they can have a good match without the smoke and mirrors, which never would have been the case otherwise. If nothing else it got the kind of time that a title match deserves to develop the story of Banks having a bad back (which would keep her on the shelf for about a month). Strong match here and another of many to come for these two.

Doctors Anderson and Gallows (oh man I had forgotten how stupid this was) run into AJ Styles for a Club reunion. Finn Balor comes up and doesn’t think much of it. Somehow, this has still never gone anywhere.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending after winning a triple threat match. Miz comes out wearing a glittery Phantom of the Opera mask while Maryse is basically in a one piece swimsuit. In a sign of the changing times, Mauro talks about Miz’s look instead of Maryse. Miz stomps away in the corner and gets two off a running kick to the chest. Crews gets the same off a rollup, only to walk into the short DDT as it’s almost all Miz to start. We’re already in the reverse chinlock before Miz sends him into the apron to cut off a comeback. Miz takes too long coming off the top though and dives into a dropkick to put both guys down.

A crossbody into a nipup has Miz in trouble as JBL rants about Otunga calling Crews a Jackrobat (jacked acrobat). The Toss Powerbomb is countered so Crews gets two off a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. An overhead belly to belly sets up a standing moonsault, which Otunga sums up perfectly: “A man with that kind of size and that kind of muscle should not be able to do that.” Miz teases taking a walk but Maryse cuts him off, allowing Miz to post Crews. The Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:36.

Rating: D+. Standard Smackdown match and something that could have been cut, or at least put in the Kickoff Show in the place of the Dudleys match. Crews felt like an easy obstacle to overcome because there was nowhere near enough build to set the match up. Put some more effort into the title already people, as it’s just not working.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. They set up the first match when Styles and Cena were in the ring together, only to have Anderson and Gallows interfere to turn Styles heel. Styles went on a great rant about how Cena was a fraud who couldn’t hang in the ring with someone like him. Cena went into a great speech about how he’s here out of love because it never gets old. AJ beat him at Money in the Bank with assistance from Anderson and Gallows, setting up a rematch between the two here.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This just feels big. AJ grabs a waistlock to start but is easily knocked away. The announcers go out of the way to put over how AJ has been on big shows before but nothing this big. Oh I don’t know. I remember him being at that Wrestlemania thing earlier in the year. The dueling chants begin and the AJ STYLES side is pretty clearly stronger.

Cena’s headlock is countered and AJ scores with the dropkick but the bragging earns AJ a right to the jaw. A hard whip into the corner sends AJ down for a bit with Cena doing some rare trash talking. They head to the floor and the fans start belting out JOHN CENA SUCKS, only to have AJ turn it into some gasping with a suplex onto the apron. Cena is right back with a dropkick for two and it’s time for some more right hands to the head.

AJ comes back with a forearm to the face, earning himself Cena’s finishing sequence. It’s way too early for the AA though as AJ hits a Pele, followed by the Styles Clash for a close two. The fans were actually more into the near fall than I was expecting as you would think they’d know better this early. The AA gives Cena two of his own and both guys are down again.

Styles slips out of the super AA and grabs the torture rack for the spinout powerbomb. They’re trading bombs at this point and it’s the only way they should be going here. Something like a Big Ending gives Cena two but he can’t get the STF. Instead it’s the AA neckbreaker for two on Cena (not the same as the AA JBL) but the springboard 450 only hits mat.

A faceplant puts Cena down again though and AJ can’t follow up. He manages the springboard forearm but Cena reverses into the worst STF I’ve ever seen. Thankfully AJ slips out and grabs a Crossface, which Cena powers out of as well. That’s reversed into the Calf Crusher which AJ is smart enough to twist away from the ropes. Cena reverses that into another horrible STF (AJ’s face is on the mat) so AJ is quickly up with the enziguri. A tornado DDT plants AJ and there’s the top rope Fameasser for two.

Cena heads up again and gets taken down with a super hurricanrana (Mauro: “MAMA MIA!”), followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for a VERY near fall (drawing Mauro to his feet). It’s Cena’s turn now as he takes AJ up for the super AA and….it’s two. NOW the fans know it’s on as I don’t think anyone has ever kicked out of that before. Cena is stunned and the AA is countered into another Clash. The Phenomenal Forearm puts Cena away clean at 23:10.

Rating: A. I know it’s not going to sound good but a lot of this goes to Cena. At the end of the day, the crowd completely lost it when AJ kicked out of that super AA. AJ wins here not because he got a pin but because he beat Cena clean. That’s a very, VERY short list and that’s what makes it feel so important. Think back to how big of a deal it was when Warrior pinned Hogan clean. That felt like an era changing win, and while this isn’t quite that big, it’s the same idea.

Oh yeah and it’s an outstanding match and possibly the Match of the Year. This was the heavyweight slugfest formula as they beat the heck out of each other with both guys hitting everything they could until one of them couldn’t get up. That’s a really hard match to pull off and these two did it in an incredible match. It belonged on the grand stage and gives Cena one heck of a mountain to overcome, which he somehow did in a better match at the Royal Rumble.

Post match Cena takes off his wristband and leaves it in the ring. He would do dark matches for a few weeks and then be back wrestling on TV in less than a month so this didn’t mean anything.

Some fans won a contest and got some stuff. In other words, let the fans have a breather.

Here’s Jon Stewart for your celebrity appearance. He makes fun of himself for interfering in Cena’s match last year and says the big lesson he learned was to tuck your shirt in when you’re taking an AA. As for tonight though, he’s here to be in New Day’s corner to help deal with Anderson and Gallows. In honor of the moment, he throws on a unicorn horn and does Big E.’s (out injured due to getting crotched against the post) entrance.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending of course and unfortunately Anderson and Gallows are still doing their stupid doctor nonsense, complete with jars for Kofi, Xavier and Jon’s testicles. I hear Paige can help you with one of those. Anderson headlocks Kofi down to start but he’s right back up with the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Kofi flips onto his feet and gets two off the standing double stomp. You can tell the fans are still recovering from the previous match and it’s off to Woods.

That goes badly as the he gets taken into the corner for a beating from Gallows. At least it does bring the fans back a bit with the rhythmic clapping. Gallows gets taken into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede (which they’ve kind of stopped doing in recent months) and the fans are really not responding. Woods sends him outside so Kofi can hit a running dive (while posing in the air) to take him down again. Back in and Gallows kicks Kofi in the head to take over for real this time with Anderson working on the arm.

That goes nowhere as the hot tag brings in Woods to clean house. Anderson sends him to the apron for an enziguri, setting up the rope walk elbow drop. Everything breaks down and Anderson kicks Kofi in the chest, setting up the Magic Killer. Stewart gets in though and it’s time to crotch him as well. Hang on though as he has to tuck in his shirt first. Cue the returning Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:09.

Rating: D. I don’t know if it was the previous match or what but sweet goodness the fans did NOT care for this one. It’s not a good match in the first place as Anderson and Gallows aren’t funny in the doctor roles, but the bigger problem here was the focus being on Stewart at the end. Oh and the ending sets up a rematch, which really isn’t what they need to be going with here. Bad match but Big E.’s return did wake up the crowd.

Big E. drinks the fluid in the jar holding his “testicles”. Stewart dances with New Day and the fans…well they care when Big E. dances at least.

We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler. Dolph won a six way match to earn the shot and then it all went nuts. Ziggler started talking about how he was tired of being told that he always either too good or not good enough. It was time to turn up the jets and become champion for the third time. Serious Ziggler was nice but I don’t think anyone was buying him as having a real chance here. You know, because he’s Dolph Ziggler.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is defending and Shane and Daniel are here for no apparent reason. The fans are behind Ziggler and they trade some grappling on the mat with Ziggler getting the better of it (not exactly a surprise). The threat of a neckbreaker sends Ambrose bailing to the floor so Dolph splashes him against the barricade.

Back in and Ziggler’s jumping DDT is countered with Dean throwing him outside again. Ziggler escapes a super Dirty Deeds so Dean slaps on a half crab of all things. You can tell Dean is playing the subtle heel here as the smark crowd is always going to cheer for Ziggler. Dean heads up top and gets dropkicked out of the air but he’s right back with a double chickenwing facebuster.

Ambrose tunes up the band (which is now mocking Ziggler instead of anything involving Shawn Michaels) but shakes his head and tries Dirty Deeds instead. That’s reversed into the jumping DDT and both guys are down again. A double collision gives us another lay down period until Dean is up first and hammering away.

The top rope elbow gets two so Ziggler grabs the sleeper, earning them both a tumble out to the floor. Ziggler gets in the superkick on the floor but it’s barely two back inside. The Zig Zag gets the same but Dean pops back up with the rebound lariat. Ziggler catches Dean on top and pulls him back down, right into Dirty Deeds to retain the title at 15:22.

Rating: D+. And that people, is Ziggler choking again. This would lead to him saying he’s never won the big one, which would turn into him never holding the World Title that long because holding the title is more important than winning it. The match was nothing all that good as we were just waiting on Dirty Deeds, which only happened so Dean could keep it warm for AJ next month. That was completely obvious the second AJ pinned Cena again and that’s all this title needed to do.

Package on Summerslam weekend.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Eva Marie vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Dang I didn’t know the Glow was a year old. Actually hang on a minute as Eva Marie is suffering from exhaustion, anxiety and stress (likely brought on by reading too many Wellness Violation messages, which meant she would never wrestle again) so we have a replacement. At least we got that amazing entrance one more time.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

So yeah, you know full well that Nikki is going to be all that matters in this match because IT’S HER BIG COMEBACK THAT EVERYONE TOTALLY CARES ABOUT BECAUSE WE LOVE HER SO MUCH! She does get one heck of a pop though, which is rather scary. During her entrance, Mauro declares her return “miraculous”. Oh man this is going to be a long one.

Bliss rolls Becky up to start and gets in a hard slap for good measure. Naomi comes in to scare Alexa off so it’s Natalya instead. A forearm puts Natalya down and the splits legdrop gets two. Carmella comes in for the Staten Island Shuffle before a missed charge sends Natalya outside. Back in and a powerslam out of the corner plants Carmella before it’s off to Nikki, the heel, for a strong face pop.

We hit the chinlock but hang on as we need some Nikki pushups. Alexa chokeshoves Carmella down for the moonsault knees to the ribs as the crowd is dead all over again. The abdominal stretch keeps things slow until Carmella finally rolls over and makes the hot tag to Becky. All three heels are send into the corner for the springboard kicks from Lynch, followed by a Bexploder on Natalya.

Becky’s top rope legdrop gets two with Nikki making the save. A blind tag brings in Naomi for the dancing kicks with the fans just not reacting at all. Bliss’ springboard splash hits knees so it’s off to Nikki vs. Carmella. A bad looking Bronco Buster gets two on Nikki and everything breaks down. Nikki’s big forearm sets up the Rack Attack 2.0 (Nikki: “I’m back.”) for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: D. This was all about Nikki’s return and that’s not enough to carry a dull match. Naomi’s Glow stuff wasn’t over yet, Becky was stuck around people who weren’t up to her level and Carmella was showing that she didn’t need to be on the main roster yet. The same was true for Alexa and Natalya was her usual self. Just not a good match and it showed the lack of depth to the division.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns. Rusev and Lana were married and so Reigns interrupted for no apparent reason to insult them and shove them into a cake.

Maria Menunos interviews Rusev and Lana, who don’t like her questions about Reigns. They won’t stand for this and Lana is sure that her husband will destroy Reigns.

We recap the Universal Title match. Basically we need a new title due to the Brand Split and Universal Title was the best they could come up with. Seth Rollins was put into the match as Raw’s #1 draft pick and Finn Balor earned his way in by winning a series of matches. Not much else to it as there’s no major animosity between them but it’s better than pulling the title out of a suitcase.

Seth did get in a great promo talking about how he’s done everything Balor has done but he’s done it a little bit better. He’s not wrong, though that’s not the best thing to do when you have someone so new to the main roster. Then Balor showed up as the Demon and scared Rollins to death.

Universal Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Anything goes and the title (which isn’t that well received due to a bad case of being hideous) is vacant coming in. Unless I’m forgetting something, to date this is the only time Balor has wrestled as the Demon on the main roster. We get the Big Match Intros and the title itself receives some hearty boos. Balor dropkicks him into the corner at the bell but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace.

Instead Balor hits a suicide dive to the floor, followed by some kicks to the knee back inside. They head outside again with Seth getting in his first offense via a suplex on the floor. Balor is right back with something like a Phenomenal Forearm off the barricade. Back in again and Balor hits a basement dropkick for two as this is almost one sided so far. Finn stays on the leg as the fans are singing something.

Balor jumps over the ropes but Rollins slides between his legs and powerbombs him into the barricade, completely destroying Balor’s shoulder and putting him on the shelf for the better part of eight months. We’re less than four minutes in though and you can see the shoulder looking all messed up. Back in and Seth gets two off a backbreaker, setting up a chinlock. The chants are still going and it sounds like THAT TITLE SUCKS to the tune of John Cena Sucks.

Seth starts the trash talk and cuts off a comeback attempt. A snapmare into a kick to the back has Finn in even more trouble but Seth would rather walk around than follow up. It’s back to the chinlock for a good while until the springboard knee to the head sets up Seth’s frog splash for two. What looks like a Rainmaker is countered into a DDT to give Balor his first major offense in a long time and he follows up with some forearms.

A basement dropkick sets up the Sling Blade but Seth kicks him down without much effort. An enziguri stuns Balor but he’s right back with the Pele, earning a very nice round of applause. If nothing else the chants about the title have stopped. 1916 (reverse implant DDT) gives Finn two but the Coup de Grace is countered into a triangle choke of all things. Finn falls outside because rope breaks don’t count (anything goes remember) and things slow down a bit.

Back in and the buckle bomb sets up the low superkick for two on Balor with Seth looking stunned on the kickout. A small package driver gets the same count and reaction so Seth goes up, allowing Balor to hit a very loud enziguri to put him on the floor. Balor adds a shotgun dropkick to send him into the barricade, followed by a top rope double stomp to the back of the head for two. The Coup de Grace misses and it’s a Pedigree for two. Finn counters a second Pedigree into a double stomp, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 19:23.

Rating: B+. When you factor in that shoulder injury, this is quite the impressive performance. Above all else though, how good is it that Balor won the title here? If he loses his first major pay per view match and then goes away until April, he’s lucky to come back to the cruiserweight division.

This was a heck of a match with both guys beating the heck out of each other. It took some time to get built up but once they finally got there, the fans really started to accept things, which is a very positive sign. Balor is someone who is going to get a very positive reaction no matter what and giving him the title here was entirely the right call.

Balor can barely move his right arm after the match but finally holds the title up. On his WWE 24 special, he said you could feel and hear the shoulder crunching and crackling as he lifted the title and it probably did more damage to the arm.

The pre-show channel chats a bit and throws us to a KFC ad with Dolph Ziggler dressing up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz dressed as a chicken. It’s actually dumber than you remember it being.

Here’s Lana to introduce Rusev, albeit while wearing half of a wedding dress, the bottom of which looks like a diaper. She’s one of the most beautiful women on the roster but she looks ridiculous here.

US Title: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

Roman is challenging and the booing is strong with this one. Rusev jumps him before the bell and they fight out to the floor with Roman being sent into the steps. The fans chant RUSEV MACHKA because they’ve given up on America over their hatred for Reigns. Roman gets in a Superman Punch as the bell hasn’t rung yet. They fight over a chair with Reigns getting the better of it and destroying Rusev. Reigns finally leaves but comes back with a spear, all while the fans chant WE WANT SLATER. No match of course, likely due to time issues.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar. This match was announced as Orton’s return match from surgery and the build focused on Orton being able to hit the RKO anytime, including a sweet moment where Orton interrupted a Lesnar promo with an RKO. The hype video even includes some OVW clips as they came up through developmental together and debuted within a few months of each other. This had a heck of a build and felt like something important but the question was whether Lesnar would have an actual match or just do his usual Lesnar stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar

Heyman handles Lesnar’s introduction, saying he’s conquering out of the University of Suplex City. Brock seems to get into his MMA stance to start before driving Orton into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Orton escapes the first German suplex attempt but can’t hit the RKO.

Now the first suplex connects (with Mauro knowing that it’s the 33rd Lesnar has hit at Summerslam because he’s awesome that way) and Brock follows with two more. Orton is almost out on his feet so Lesnar suplexes him again. It’s nothing but suplexes at this point and it’s already getting dull. They head outside for a much needed change of pace with Orton being thrown over the announcers’ table.

Orton gets thrown from the front row through the table as this is dominance. The other table is loaded up but whatever Lesnar is trying is countered into the RKO onto (not through) the table. The hanging DDT plants Lesnar back inside and another RKO gets two. Orton realizes he has no choice and tries the Punt, only to have it reversed into the F5 (bad one) for two more.

That’s enough for Lesnar so he takes off the gloves and pads and hammers on Orton. An elbow to the head actually busts Orton open VERY badly. Lesnar just keeps hammering on him while the fans chant GOLDBERG until the referee FINALLY stops it at 11:47. I’ve heard a bunch of answers about what happened but I believe this was the planned ending and a hard way opening.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work when it happened and it didn’t work again this time around. Lesnar suplexing Orton for five minutes then selling a few big moves doesn’t make me think it’s an awesome main event. This was everything wrong with Lesnar’s current WWE run in one match and that made for a really dull match, save for the odd finish that seemed designed to protect Orton. You know, after he was basically squashed.

Lesnar keeps hammering on him until the always intimidating Shane McMahon comes out, earning himself an F5 (which thankfully didn’t lead anywhere). Heyman panics as they leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. If you cut an hour (or more) out of this, it’s bordering on the classic level. As it is, this is just a good show that runs WAY too long. At some point you have to cut something out and WWE just refuses to do that. Cut out the Dudleys match or the women’s tag and give us some breathing room here because sweet goodness this show could use it.

Now that being said, there’s some outstanding stuff on here with the Styles vs. Cena match as an instant classic, the Women’s Title being very good, a great Universal Title match and really only the Tag Team Title match being without much value. The show is certainly good and the positives outweigh the negatives but unless the show is a masterpiece, fans are going to start losing interest near the end. It’s a solid show but cut out a good forty minutes to really make it great.

Ratings Comparison

American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Original: C

2017 Redo: B-

Dudley Boyz vs. Neville/Sami Zayn

Original: C

2017 Redo: C-

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

2017 Redo: B

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Original: C+

2017 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Original: B

2017 Redo: B

Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Original: C

2017 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A

2017 Redo: A

New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

2017 Redo: D

Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Original: C

2017 Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

2017 Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2017 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

2017 Redo: B-

That’s quite the drop on Ambrose vs. Ziggler and Lesnar vs. Orton. Some of them are spot on though and that’s not the biggest surprise.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/08/21/summerslam-2016-they-didnt/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2016 (Original): That Bloody Lesnar

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

Pre-Show: Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango vs. American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos

Breeze gets his turn at a chinlock and Viktor keeps Zack in trouble. A neckbreaker puts Konnor down though and the hot tag brings in Jimmy to almost no reaction. Everything breaks down and Jordan starts throwing suplexes as only he cans. We get the parade of people hitting each other in the face until Rawley powerbombs Breeze and Viktor. The Usos superkick Ascension off the apron and hit double dives to take out most of the heels. Gotch takes the Grand Amplitude but Jey tags himself in for the Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:30.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

The Brogue Kick and Cesaro Swing are both broken up but Sheamus sends him into the post to take over. Sheamus puts on an armbar and a tilt-a-whirl powerslam takes us to a break. Back with Cesaro in a chinlock and a look at what we saw before the break, a full minute ago. The Regal Roll means we should respect the hawk but Cesaro counters a suplex to send both guys falling out to the floor.

For some reason Cesaro stands on the post and jumps down onto the top rope for the high cross body. Not much of a change but it looked cool enough. The Swing sets up the Sharpshooter but Sheamus is right next to the rope. Sheamus is tired of getting beaten on though and thumbs him in the eye to set up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 14:38.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

House is quickly cleaned with the big man beating up the villains and sending them outside, only to have Enzo get launched over the top (with his foot almost getting caught on the top rope). Back in and Jericho kicks Enzo in the face to take over, allowing Owens to talk trash as only he can. We hit the ASK HIM chinlock, followed by the running the ropes chinlock from Owens.

Anderson and Gallows are making doctor jokes when AJ Styles comes in for some too sweeting. Finn Balor comes in, looks at them, and leaves as the fans lose their minds.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Apollo Crews

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This is earlier than I was expecting. The dueling chants being and you can tell Cena is fired up. Feeling out process to start until AJ hits the dropdown dropkick but spends too much time posing, allowing a big right hand to the face. The fans come up with various ways to say John Cena sucks as AJ suplexes him on the apron to take over.

Cena actually gets cheered post match. He takes off the Never Give Up armband and leaves it in the ring before walking away. I doubt it goes anywhere but that could mean something.

Some fans won a contest.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending and Big E. is out hurt. Anderson and Gallows come out in their doctor coats and even have a small jar for Stewart. Kofi starts with Anderson and flips out of a monkey flip as you would expect him to do. The Unicorn Stampede has Gallows in trouble and Kofi dives over the top, poses in the air, and takes him out again.

Big E. drinks the fluid in his his ball jar.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose. Dean is carrying Smackdown as the champion but Ziggler won a six pack challenge to earn a title shot here. Ziggler has been getting much more serious lately and superkicked Dean in mid sentence on Smackdown earlier this week.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dean is defending and Shane and Bryan are at ringside to hold them apart before the bell. They slap each other in the face to start until Ziggler takes him down with a nice amateur move. Dean goes outside and sends Ziggler into the steps, followed by a butterfly superplex for two. Ambrose grabs a half crab as JBL goes into a rant about Dean robbing a homeless mannequin.

Back up and Dean gets two off a Glam Slam of all things before tuning up the band, which is now mocking Ziggler instead of Shawn. Instead of a superkick (what a concept), Dean tries Dirty Deeds but gets shoved to the floor. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT and hits back to back Fameassers for two. They hit crossbodies at the same time before Dean takes over with the top rope elbow.

We look at WWE taking over New York.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/???

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns for the US Title, which involved Lana going into a wedding cake.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins for the inaugural Universal Title. Rollins gets the spot due to being the #1 draft pick and Balor won a mini tournament by pinning Roman Reigns to get his place. Seth seems to be laughing off Balor as a challenger so Balor brought out the Demon to make it clear how serious this was.

Raw World Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Pre-show panel recap because screw people having to go to work tomorrow.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev

Reigns is challenging to stand up for America. Rusev jumps him before the bell and sends Reigns into the steps a few times. The bad arm is crushed by some steps but Reigns Superman Punches him off the barricade. Referees come out to pull them apart and the guys fight over a chair. Reigns cracks him over the back with a chair and is finally made to leave. No match due to Rusev not being able to compete.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Now, on to the stuff before WWE lost its mind.

Results

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Codebreaker to Amore

Charlotte b. Sasha Banks – Rollup

Miz b. Apollo Crews – Skull Crushing Finale

AJ Styles b. John Cena – Phenomenal Forearm

Anderson and Gallows b. New Day via DQ when Big E. interfered

Dean Ambrose b. Dolph Ziggler – Dirty Deeds

Nikki Bella/Alexa Bliss/Natalya b. Carmella/Becky Lynch/Naomi – TKO to Carmella

Finn Balor b. Seth Rollins – Coup de Grace

Brock Lesnar b. Randy Orton via TKO when Orton was busted open

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


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