Smackdown
Date: January 27, 2005
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means more polishing up John Cena for either winning the Royal Rumble or getting the next big title shot after the show. Other than that, we have a rather spiffy three way feud for the World Title, which is a lot better than I was expecting. Maybe they can even continue it as we get through the final show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the three way feud between Kurt Angle, Big Show and WWE Champion JBL, which has mainly been focused on Joy Giovanni and Amy Weber. Last week, Angle and JBL teamed up to take out Big Show’s knee. In quite the surprise, the two of them haven’t dragged the feud down and have played their roles rather well.

JBL, Angle and their respective cronies are happy with what they did last week. Tonight, they’re going to do it again when they take down Booker T., Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio in a six man tag. Well Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak and Orlando Jordan will that is. JBL: “United we stand, divided they fall.”

Orlando Jordan/Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

One of these teams is very talented. I’ll let you figure out which is which. Booker and Jindrak get things going but the fans want Eddie. A clothesline takes Jindrak down and it’s Eddie coming in with the slingshot hilo. Rey adds the springboard dropkick for two but Jindrak takes him into the corner. Jordan comes in and gets caught with a springboard crossbody as the pathetic lackeys can’t keep anything going.

A backdrop cuts Jordan off and Booker comes in for the Big Apple Blast (Hart Attack with a side kick instead of a clot). Everything breaks down for a few seconds and it’s Rey being thrown over the top and down onto Eddie as we take a break. Back with Booker hitting the Book End on Jordan and bringing Mysterio back in. A dropkick sends Jordan into the corner but Jindrak saves Jordan from the Bronco Buster. Reigns and Jordan get in an argument over who gets to beat up Mysterio but Jordan is fine enough to get two off a backbreaker.

It’s off to Jindrak for a chinlock until a Booker distraction lets Eddie sneak in with a poke to the eye. That’s not enough for the tag though as Jordan comes back in for a neck crank. Rey breaks out and crawls through some legs before sending the villains into each other. The hot tag brings Eddie in and the fans are rather pleased. Everything breaks down and it’s a 619 to Jindrak. The ax kick into the frog splash is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. The parade of chinlocks was a little much but the last minute and a half picked things up a lot with Mysterio knowing how to get a crowd going. The coalition style team isn’t going to work in the end and it’s even worse when they’re against a team with that much talent. Cut out a few minutes in the middle and this could have been rather good.

Post match Reigns shoves Jordan down and blames him for the loss. The Bashams come out to break things up. Angle and JBL come out as well and we take a break. Back with JBL blaming Angle for everything but Kurt says it was Jordan’s fault for being a bad deputy. JBL needs a cabinet because he’s the champion, which Angle will never be again. Angle says he was winning championships when JBL was getting drunk at frat parties.

JBL is one ankle lock away from being the cowboy in the bar, which sends JBL into a rant about Bill Clinton. Threats are made but here’s Theodore Long (in a salmon jacket) to interrupt. It turns out that Big Show is healthy enough for Sunday, but Long is interested in Angle talking about being the last man standing. That’s why tonight it’s JBL vs. Angle in a Last Man Standing match.

Clip of the Steve Austin press conference.

Video on Heidenreich vs. Undertaker for Sunday’s Casket match.

US Title: John Cena vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Cena is defending and hammers away to start as I don’t see this being the most competitive match. They head outside with Cena sending Suzuki into the post as this is complete dominance so far. Cena drives him back first into the announcers’ table before channeling his inner Rock by doing his own commentary. Back in and Kenzo finally sends him into the corner for a breather….which lasts all of five seconds before Cena is back with some chops. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and ends Kenzo with the FU.

Rating: D+. Cena might as well have been facing the Brooklyn Brawler here, which has been the case with just about anyone he’s been facing as of late. That triple threat feud on top of the card is leaving Cena without anything interesting to do but at least they’re not making these matches longer than they need to. Bring on the Rumble.

Post match Cena says that’s momentum and tonight, Suzuki ran into the Chain Gang. That’s what’s going to happen to twenty nine people on Sunday. Cena wants to know who is in the Rumble and mentions a fan in a certain seat, which happens to be a kid. Cena: “Little man, if you was in the Rumble, we would all whip your a**!” With that threat to a minor out of the way, Cena wraps things up.

Eddie and Rey are celebrating their victory and laughing when Booker comes in. He’s not happy with not being invited but calms down a bit as they praise him for his part earlier tonight. Booker gets on Eddie for costing them the titles last week but Eddie talks about the Rumble, which he could win. The other two don’t see it that way and Rey tells him to sit down. They both think they could win and won’t trust Eddie on Sunday. This was a perfectly nice character building segment and I could go for a lot more of those.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat because that match needs two segments. He has a poem for us but stops in a hurry because a fan has a mini casket with a picture of Heidenreich inside. After breaking that apart, he gets through his poem, which is about his greatest battle. As he talks, he starts foaming at the mouth and shouts NO CASKET. Can we please get rid of this goon already?

Angle goes to Long’s office but Long comes outside for some reason. The main event tonight is unfair but Long sees it differently. Maybe Angle is just scared of JBL? The match is still on.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Spike Dudley vs. Paul London vs. Shannon Moore vs. Funaki

Non-title and one fall to a finish. Funaki knocks Spike off the apron at the bell and it’s time for the very early rollups. Shannon gets thrown outside and Spike gets two off a belly to back to Funaki. London knees Spike in the face for the same but Spike is right back with a half Walls of Jericho.

The other two make the save as Tazz talks about Moore’s makeup. Funaki pulls London off the corner and sends him outside for a nasty looking crash. Spike’s running headbutt to Funaki’s ribs gets two with Shannon making the save. Spike knocks Moore outside but gets caught in a reverse tornado DDT. London is back up and shoves Moore and Funaki off the top, setting up a 450 to Spike for the surprise pin.

Rating: C. As usual, what are you supposed to do with four and a half minutes in a four way match? London winning was a nice surprise and it’s not like Funaki is hurt by a loss like this. If nothing else for the sake of letting him have a big bump during his elimination, which he does as well as anyone else.

After blowing off Carlito’s request for a petition signature, JBL goes to ask Long about getting the match canceled. This time Long just slams the door in his face, which is enough to make JBL sign.

ANOTHER video on Heidenreich vs. Undertaker.

Amy Weber comes up to the rest of the women in the locker room. Dawn Marie takes obsession to Amy snapping her fingers but listens to her pitch to sign Carlito’s petition. Joy isn’t there but Amy is NOT scared to ask her. Joy comes up from behind with some yogurt. The obvious happens.

Royal Rumble rundown.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title Last Man Standing match. Reigns, Jindrak, Jordan and the Bashams are at ringside. We’re joined in progress with Angle taking JBL down but JBL runs him over and drops an elbow for….well nothing because that’s not how this match works. Kurt goes for the arm so JBL powers out and chops away in the corner. The fall away slam gives JBL a five count and a top rope superplex is good for nine.

The Clothesline From JBL is countered into the ankle lock to make JBL tap but thankfully Angle is smart enough to not let it go. Instead the Bashams break it up and the fight is on outside. Despite them not breaking any rules, the referee ejects everyone and we take a break. Back with Angle going face first into the steps as things have turned into more of a brawl, which makes sense for something like this.

JBL whips him over the announcers’ table but spends too much time clearing it off, allowing Angle to dive off and get a breather. Angle backdrops his way to freedom but can’t get the Angle Slam through the table. Instead JBL posts him for a nine count (took thirty seconds) and gets annoyed when Angle gets up. Back in and Angle rolls the German suplexes, hitting a ridiculous eight in a row before letting go.

JBL gets up again so Angle grabs a rear naked choke. That’s still not enough so Angle tries a front facelock, which is reversed into a spinebuster (makes sense as JBL couldn’t do much more than pick him up and drop him). The powerbomb plants Angle for nine but he’s right back with the Angle Slam.

That’s another nine and JBL blasts him with the Clothesline. They’re both up at nine and the exhausted/near defeated look on JBL’s face is a great visual. With nothing else working, JBL grabs a chair but Angle takes it away. JBL kicks it into his face but Angle blasts him in the head before collapsing, meaning it’s a double ten count for the draw.

Rating: B. I know all of the focus is on the Rumble and Batista/Cena, but this is a really underrated feud, especially with Big Show thrown in. There’s a rather nice chemistry there and the story is actually making me want to see more. I know everything goes away as soon as Sunday is over, but they deserve a good deal of credit for a story that has no reason to be this interesting. The match itself was a good brawl with both guys beating each other up and the logical finish of a draw. As usual, JBL is better off working a power brawling style and Angle can play off of that all day long.

We cut to Long’s office where he thanks Big Show for the idea for the match. Show says he loves it when a plan comes together and promises to win on Sunday.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s good that we’re moving on soon enough because this holding pattern has been going on for a while now. That being said, it’s been a rather nice holding pattern with a shockingly good World Title feud and Cena oozing star power. They’ve set things up very well and Cena can get his title shot either by winning the Rumble or whatever else he has to do at No Way Out. This was an enjoyable show and they’re hitting the right notes at the correct time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2005
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time to get ready for the Royal Rumble and so far that means focusing on the Smackdown World Title match. JBL, Kurt Angle and Big Show have been playing mind games with each other and I don’t see that ending well. Other than that, John Cena is still looking for anything to fill his time before he can get to the World Title scene. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s issues between everyone involved in Joy Giovanni’s disappearance, which was one of the most entertaining things they’ve done in a good while. Kurt Angle and company were behind the whole thing and that is likely going to have some repercussions this week.

Theodore Long is in the ring to open things up. He talks about what Angle did last week and promises that Angle will face the music tonight. Angle isn’t here yet, but when he arrives, it’s time for an official apology to Joy Giovanni, all by himself. Otherwise, he is out of the title shot at the Royal Rumble and won’t get another title shot this year. Now holla holla holla.

Tag Team Titles: Bashams vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

The Bashams are defending and has Orlando Jordan here with them. Doug takes Booker into the corner to start so Booker clotheslines him right back. Eddie comes in to a rather nice reaction and stomps away in the corner. The slingshot hilo hits and it’s time to start on the arm. Booker’s spinning kick to the face gets one and Eddie goes very old school with an airplane spin. Eddie is so dizzy that he staggers into the corner for a poke to Danny’s eyes.

Back to back planchas to the floor keep the champs down and we take a break. Back with Doug STILL in trouble to continue the rather long beatdown segment. A suplex finally gets Doug a breather and it’s off to Danny for some fresh Basham. Booker comes in and the champs do a very fast twin switch, which would seem to be a rather bad idea. The cheap shot lets Doug take Booker down and it’s back to Danny for some choking on the apron.

Danny grabs a seated full nelson and then gets two off a powerslam. The hold goes back on and Eddie gets yelled at for not holding the tag rope. In a rather brilliant move, Eddie unties the rope and holds onto it as he walks down the apron, though it doesn’t matter as Danny puts on the third full nelson in the span of a few minutes. A regular chinlock changes the pace a bit and that’s enough to trigger the comeback, including a spinebuster to drop Danny.

It’s Eddie coming back in and hitting the rope walk wristdrag/headscissors combination to the champs. Three Amigos have Doug in trouble so Eddie brings Orlando in for a bonus. The distraction lets Doug bring in a title but Eddie knocks it away and hits Doug with it….as the referee turns around. He SWEARS that he didn’t do it but that’s a DQ anyway.

Rating: C-. The long stretch of holds in the middle hurt it a lot but this got some time and was allowed to develop a bit. The Bashams are fine champions at the moment and a team can be built up to take them away in time. Eddie vs. Booker seems to be building as well and that could be a rather nice feud.

Post match Booker yells at Eddie, who walks out on him instead. Danny and Jordan jump Booker and Eddie makes a somewhat delayed save. A scissors kick into the frog splash takes care of Orlando.

JBL is upset over Jordan but Amy reminds him that the Bashams retained the title. Josh Matthews comes in so JBL can talk about some things he’s done in his life. Those things were a matter of doing business though and what Angle did crossed the line. Tonight, Angle will pay. I hope he gets a receipt.

Big Show and an upset Joy Giovanni are waiting on Angle. Show doesn’t think this is the place for her so she leaves.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Akio vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

This is Scotty’s return after having a benign tumor removed. Akio gets aggressive to start and stomps away but Scotty armdrags him into an armbar. They head outside with Akio sending him back first into the apron and grabbing his own armbar. A suplex gets two as the cameras stay close to avoid showing the large number of empty seats during this match. The abdominal stretch has Scotty in more trouble and a belly to back plants him again. Akio Time (corkscrew moonsault) misses and the Worm gives Scotty the pin.

Rating: D+. They were trying but there’s nothing you can do with two cruiserweight job guys fighting to be cannon fodder in the Rumble. The Worm still gets a reaction but other than some dancing, Scotty doesn’t have much more than that. Akio was aggressive here and it was one of his better performances.

John Cena is all fired up for the Royal Rumble because it’s about the movement. If you want some, come get some. Not much to say this week.

Steve Austin had a press conference on Wednesday. This show is airing on Thursday so tune in Monday to find out what he said!

Theodore Long tells Big Show that he can’t attack Angle until the apology takes place. Show isn’t convinced.

Here’s Carlito with his petition and he gets some signatures on the way to the ring. He promises to keep collecting signatures but here’s Heidenreich of all people to interrupt. Heidenreich actually signs as well because Long is forcing him into a casket match. He’s not scared of Undertaker but he doesn’t like caskets, so he’ll do anything to get out of that match. The lights go out and Undertaker appears on screen, promising to introduce Heidenreich to a casket. There’s a casket in front of him and Heidenreich is inside. This story can gladly end anytime. Like, say before we have to watch them fight again.

Lauren and Rochelle arrive and Show nearly hits them with a chair.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Rene shoulders him down to start and throws in his own You Can’t See Me. A much harder shoulder puts Rene on the floor and the fans are rather pleased. Cena spends a bit too much time high fiving a fan and walks into a dropkick. Back in and a clothesline connects as the announcers try to figure out what Rene’s trunks say.

The chinlock goes on for a bit as Tazz is confused why Rene isn’t the hometown favorite. Cena comes back with clotheslines and elbows for two, followed by the ProtoBomb for the same. The Shuffle actually misses, so Cena hits a DDT and then the Shuffle connects. The FU sends Cena tot he Rumble.

Rating: D+. I know I say this every week but Cena has nothing to do at the moment until we get to the Rumble because no one in the midcard can touch him. We’re just waiting to get him to the main event scene where he belongs, and having him beat up Rene one week and Kenzo Suzuki the next isn’t the most interesting thing in the world.

Post match here’s Kenzo to jump Cena, likely setting up one more match between the two of them next week.

Royal Rumble rundown.

JBL comes up to Big Show and offers to help him deal with Angle tonight. After the apology, they can beat him up. Show doesn’t say no.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They lock hands to start with Chavo monkey flipping him over, leading to a standoff. A reverse powerbomb plants Rey and Chavo gets to talk a little trash. Rey sends him to the apron though and it’s a springboard Stunner to put Chavo on the floor as we take a break. Back with Rey getting caught in the chinlock, which is a little better than coming back to the chinlock. Chavo starts kicking at the knee but Rey kicks him in the chest, followed by a springboard moonsault.

It’s right back to Rey’s knee though but Chavo switches to an armbar for some reason. Chavo dives into raised boots and falls into 619 position but thankfully stands up so Rey can get two off a basement dropkick. A faceplant gives Chavo two of his own with Rey putting his foot on the rope. Rey tries a running headscissors but gets planted with a reverse powerbomb for two as the fans are VERY impressed. Another headscissors works better for Rey though, meaning it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two are capable of having a good match. That almost always seems to be the case and I’m not surprised in the slightest. Rey winning was the mostly obvious ending but Chavo was trying here, giving us one of the better Smackdown matches in recent memory.

Raw Rebound.

Next week: Kenzo gets another US Title shot.

Here’s a scared looking Kurt Angle coming through the crowd. After a break, he calls out Joy for the apology. Joy comes out and Angle reads an apology, blaming last week on his overly competitive spirit. Any pain and suffering was unintentional….and here’s Big Show. Once Show is in the ring, Angle bails to the floor because they can settle this at the Rumble. Cue JBL and the Cabinet to threaten Angle, followed by a handshake. Angle calls out Jindrak and Reigns so Show is down 7-1. Cole, after the handshake and smile: “Have JBL and Angle joined forces here?”

It’s the classic villain strategy of sending one or two people at a time before the villains wake up and rush Show at the same time. Show fights them off and even no sells a low blow from Jordan. The Angle Slam takes him down though and JBL chairs him in the head. JBL and Angle take turns hitting Show in his busted head and a great looking shot with the steps put Show on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The transitional phase continues as we slowly crawl towards Cena getting into the main event picture and having no one to touch him until then. At the same time though, Big Show, Angle and JBL are giving it all they have in the title feud and it’s working far better than I would have expected. The women are adding in enough of a difference that the story is working and I’m wanting to see the title match. The wrestling tonight wasn’t very good, but I’m digging the show enough at the moment. Things are building towards Cena at the Rumble though and there’s no need to try and hide it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2005
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The road to the Royal Rumble and John Cena’s obvious coronation continues and this time around he has to beat up Kenzo Suzuki again. Other than that, we have to build towards JBL defending against both Kurt Angle and Big Show in a match that doesn’t sound too great on paper. They’ve surprised me before though so maybe that’s the case again here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of last week’s issues with Amy Weber, Kurt Angle, Joy Giovanni and Big Show where shenanigans ensued thanks to Weber outsmarting everyone else involved.

Angle tries to apologize for walking in on Joy in the shower last week but can’t get around Big Show. He finally steps aside so Angle can apologize and she says thank you. Show doesn’t like Angle but that took guts. Now they need to make JBL apologize.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam vs. Basham Brothers vs. Luther Reigns/Mark Jindrak vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

Van Dam and Mysterio are defending and this is under elimination rules. Ignore Van Dam having a full leg cast on his left leg and his inability to walk with any kind of speed. Thanks to a pre-show coin toss, Eddie and Jindrak start things off. That means some Jindrak hip swiveling but the fans are behind Eddie anyway. Eddie has to counter a headlock with a top wristlock but Jindrak pretty easily powers him right back into it.

In a smart move, Eddie gets Jindrak over to Booker so the double teaming can begin. The hook kick to the face puts Jindrak out as Cole has an actual good idea: why not tag in the injured Van Dam and get an easier elimination? I knew if I listened to him talk for twenty years he’d say something smart eventually. Eddie dropkicks Jindrak down again and tags Doug in for a change of pace. Both teams come in for a brawl but Mysterio trips Doug and hits a 619 on Jindrak.

Eddie puts Doug on top and we’re down to three. Back from a break with Mysterio armdragging Doug down but Eddie gets tagged in to face Rey. Eddie is hesitant here so Rey tries a flying mare, only to slip off (though replays showed that it might have been Eddie pushing him off but not shoving him far enough) and nearly land on his head. Thankfully Eddie turns it into something like a powerslam to keep Rey from a bad case of paralysis. It’s back to Booker for a spinebuster and Eddie chokes with the tag rope in the corner.

Rey monkey flips Eddie down though and hits a springboard hurricanrana for the pin and the elimination. Eddie is very, very frustrated as they leave so Doug gets in a cheap shot on Mysterio to take over. Van Dam gets knocked off the apron so it’s Rey getting choked in the corner. A steps shot to the knee has Van Dam writhing in pain on the floor but Rey avoids a charge to send Doug into the post.

Mysterio heads outside to check on Van Dam and the delay lets Danny beat on Rey even more. A stretcher comes out for Van Dam and Mysterio goes outside AGAIN to ask what’s going on. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING ON REY??? Danny gets two off a suplex and we hit the chinlock. Rey manages the sitout bulldog for two but Doug makes the save. A 619 hits Danny but it’s a switch so Doug’s chokebomb can connect for the pin and the titles.

Post match the Cabinet comes out to celebrate and Cole is sick because we’ll have to listen to them. The irony is strong with this one.

Hiroko says Kenzo Suzuki loves America and thinks John Cena is everything wrong with America. Tonight, Kenzo wins the US Title because God bless America. Hit that cheese grin.

JBL and the Cabinet are celebrating when they run into Big Show and Joy. They didn’t like what JBL and company did last week so it’s time for JBL to apologize. He apologizes immediately but Show wants something more sincere. Amy needs to apologize as well but she says Joy just wanted to be the center of attention last week. That makes her nothing more than a CENSORED and the catfight is on. Theodore Long makes the most well timed appearance in recent memory and makes a match between the women tonight.

Raw and Smackdown are coming to Tokyo next month.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Invitational but first, he promises to take JBL’s title at the Rumble. You might have heard of this week’s opponent.

Kurt Angle vs. Roderick Strong

I love surprise cameos like this. Strong is very excited to be here and slaps Angle in the face. The bell rings so Strong runs away because he just has to beat the clock. Angle catches him though but Strong gets two off a rollup. A double chickenwing has Strong in trouble and Angle punches him in the face again. There’s the release German suplex and the ankle lock makes Strong tap in a hurry.

Wrestlemania Recall: Morton Downey Jr. in Piper’s Pit.

US Title: John Cena vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Cena is defending but first, he makes fun of Kenzo for thinking that he’s going to become more American tonight. If you want to know what America is about, look out into the crowd. America is why he wears these colors (an orange Tampa Bay Buccaneers jersey at the moment) and tonight, they’re going to whip Kenzo together. Suzuki slugs Cena down in the corner to start but Cena spears him down and hammers away. A bulldog drops Kenzo and there’s the Five Knuckle Shuffle (complete with bow). The shoes get pumped up and it’s the FU to retain the title in a hurry. The Cena roll continues.

Cena leaves through the crowd to celebrate.

Video on the weekend house show tour.

Amy is freaking out because she isn’t a wrestler and everyone has been banned from ringside.

Joy rubs baby oil on herself and gets a kiss for luck from Big Show.

Video on Heidenreich being scared of caskets and losing a match last week to keep the Rumble match a casket match.

Amy Weber vs. Joy Giovanni

Or not as there is no Joy. The music plays twice and no one is here so Amy wins via forfeit.

Show wants Long to find Joy and threatens violence if it doesn’t happen. Finlay and Steve Keirn are on the case. Everyone leaves so Heidenreich comes in to complain about the casket match again. The match is still on so get over it. Heidenreich leaves and JBL comes in but denies knowing anything about Joy’s disappearance.

Post break, JBL has given his alibi but Long says if he’s lying, the title is stripped next week.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Nunzio

Funaki is defending and gets a jobber entrance. Nunzio goes right at him to start but gets kicked in the ribs. An armdrag sets up an early armbar on Nunzio, who gets up without too much effort. Back up and Nunzio dropkicks him out of the air, setting up his own chinlock. Funaki fights up again and hits a kick to the arm, followed by a high crossbody with Nunzio rolling through for his own near fall. Not that it matters as Funaki hits a sloppy tornado DDT to retain.

Rating: C-. This was a rather nice little match for such a short amount of time. The ending didn’t look great but given how little time they had, they were probably going faster than they should have. Funaki isn’t the long term champion but at least they’re getting the champion on TV more than once a month or so.

Long accuses Carlito of having something to do with Joy’s disappearance. Carlito says no but that does sound like another bad mark against Long’s status as General Manager. Long throws Carlito out but here are Jackie Gayda and Torrie Wilson to take his place. They saw Orlando Jordan following Joy on her way to the ring. Long sends for Jordan and says he should have known.

Post break Jordan has given his alibi as well….and then says he admits it. He told Joy Amy was going to hurt her but that was it. Show comes in and chokes Jordan, who says JBL was in a photo shoot when Joy disappeared. That better be true, or bones will be broken.

Raw Rebound.

The Chairman of the Florida Agricultural Society is here to honor JBL as their Man of the Year. We get the full entrance and the Chairman talks about JBL helping to replant orange trees after the hurricane season and supplying a bunch of fertilizer. JBL gets a plaque and we get a photo op before the required speech. He talks about helping the people of Florida live and prosper but he did it for that kid who goes to the breakfast table and wants orange juice. Or for the family who starts off on the right foot with a JBL chant to start their morning.

As JBL allows the fans to cheer him, Angle interrupts and accuses JBL of abducting Joy. Angle wants to know his plan but JBL keeps denying it. That’s not good enough for Angle, who hears noises coming from the trunk of JBL’s limo. Joy is indeed in there, drawing out medics to tend to her. Cue Show to cry over Joy and then turn back to JBL. The fight is on with Show cleaning house and beating the fire out of Jordan. A bunch of chair shots leave Jordan laying and Show glares at JBL in the crowd.

We cut to the back where Angle, Reigns and Jindrak talk about loving it when a plan comes together. They smile and walk off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a very interesting show as while a lot happened, a good chunk of it was wrapped up by the end of the show or didn’t change that much. What it did do though was entertain me, which is so often lacking in wrestling. They did a bunch of stuff here and it was a fun show where I was wanting to see where things went. That’s a better way to spend two hours than doing the same stuff over and over, making this a rather nice surprise. I know you can’t have some big angle every week, but it was cool to have something different for a week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 6, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in a new year and it’s time to start building towards the Royal Rumble, featuring another Undertaker vs. Heidenreich match. I’m not sure why anyone would be looking forward to that but hopefully it wraps up their feud once and for all. Other than that, John Cena is looking like the star of stars and I’m thinking that has some potential. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Fallout from last week’s Tag Team Title match. Rey brings out the 619 Cam but Eddie steals it for some filming of guest timekeeper Joy Giovanni. We get started with Rey snapping off a headscissors but getting caught in a test of strength. That’s broken up with Rey climbing onto Eddie’s back for two off a sunset flip, meaning it’s an early standoff. Back up and it’s another headscissors to rattle Eddie some more.

Rey charges again but this time he gets faceplanted down, setting up an armbar on the right (not left Cole) arm. The hammerlock goes on for a good bit until Rey makes the rope, with Eddie not letting go immediately. Rey tries a moonsault but gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a dropkick to the ribs. Eddie misses a charge though and crotches himself against the post as we take a break.

Back with Rey holding something like an abdominal stretch on the mat before switching to an armbar. An exchange of sleepers goes to Rey, followed by a springboard armdrag. Rey gets two off a Lionsault and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so Rey dropkicks him into the ropes, only to miss the 619. Eddie chills in the corner so Rey tries a Bronco Buster, which is blocked with a raised boot.

It was NOT a low blow though (Eddie promises) so Rey takes him up top but the hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. A missed charge bumps the referee though and Eddie has an idea. It’s the old grab the title spot so he throws it to Rey….who throws it right back and drops down as the referee gets up.

Eddie crawls around on his stomach to hide the title and INSISTS that he did not use the belt. He tries to crawl over and throw it away but gets caught, giving us a hilarious look on his face. Rey cracks up and Eddie tries to convince the referee that it means Rey did it. That’s almost a double DQ but Eddie’s begging keeps the match going….and lets Rey small package him for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two had a fun match, but the ending was hysterical with Eddie going so over the top when he had no idea what to do in the situation. His NO and HE’S LAUGHING got some actual laughter and they did it for the right reason. How often do you get that in wrestling?

Post match Rey shakes an unenthusiastic Eddie’s hand.

Heidenreich thanks Paul Heyman for coming to help him with the casket stipulation. For some reason, Heyman is treated like a big reveal here and isn’t shown until a little bit into Heidenreich’s speech. Heyman promises to fix things.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Akio

Funaki is defending and Carlito, with his petition, is on commentary. Hang on actually as Carlito gets a signature from the cameraman and some fans. Funaki starts fast with an armdrag to send Akio outside, followed by some rollups for two each. Carlito isn’t done though and even gets inside, asking the referee and wrestlers for signatures.

With Carlito sent outside (sans signatures), it’s time to get some security guards to sign. Akio’s enziguri gets two and it’s off to a quickly broken armbar. Funaki hits a bulldog for two as Carlito is asking more fans for signatures. Akio misses a corkscrew moonsault and gets DDTed off the middle rope for the pin.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? This was all about Carlito’s deal and does very little to make me want to see the cruiserweights for the time being. You can’t put a squash match in there instead of a title match? Hopefully they don’t do any more of this stuff, or at least not in a match that should matter.

Post match Joy won’t sign so Carlito spits apple on her. I do not find this to be cool.

Heyman and Heidenreich try to talk Long out of the casket match at the Royal Rumble. Violence seems to be threatened so Long gives Heidenreich an offer: If he can beat Undertaker tonight, he gets to pick a new stipulation. Oh and we’ll make it a handicap match with Heyman involved. Heyman: “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???”

Kurt Angle meets with Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak but Amy Weber comes in and wants to talk to him in private. She offers him her services, which Angle sees as her hedging her bets. Personal relations are implied and Angle seems rather happy.

Here’s Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational and he’s feeling like he’s up for a gamble tonight. By that he means doing the same thing he’s done every week.

Kurt Angle vs. Brian Black

Black looks a bit like Chris Nowinski with shorter hair. Angle makes him tap in less than thirty seconds.

Torrie Wilson and Jackie Gayda meet Daniel Puder, who doesn’t seem entirely impressed. Puder brings up Jackie cheating on Charlie Haas and wishes her better luck with men in the future. They can leave now, with Puder saying they’re just after his money.

And now, a battle rap between John Cena and Kenzo Suzuki before their US Title match next week. Kenzo, now clean shaven, is dressed like Uncle Sam. It’s Kenzo going first and talking about how much he loves America with the usual lame jokes. Cena on the other hand goes with a bunch of gay jokes about him and sex jokes about Hiroko. Kenzo says something about Cena sucking so Cena brings out Rochelle, Michelle and Lauren.

They get Kenzo’s attention and he flirts with them a bit. Cena: “I swear, he’s got some game.” The women seem more disturbed than anything else so Hiroko jumps on Michelle’s back. That’s broken up and Cena cleans house. They’re just biding time until Cena goes after the World Title because everyone else feels beneath him.

Next week: the Tag Team Titles are on the line in a four way.

Rob Van Dam vs. Doug Basham

Danny Basham and Orlando Jordan are in Doug’s corner. Rob takes him to the mat without much effort as Mysterio has come out to even the score a bit. The threat of a kick to the face sends Doug outside, where he shoves Rey and gets punched down. That’s an ejection for Rey so Van Dam moonsaults down onto Doug for two back inside. They slug it out on the floor with Van Dam going back first into the apron so Doug can start in on the spine.

The bow and arrow hold doesn’t last long so Doug tries a Vader Bomb, which hits raised feet. Rob hits the middle rope boot to the face and Rolling Thunder keeps Doug in trouble. A distraction lets Orlando give Doug a foreign object but the referee catches him, allowing Danny to change places. Danny’s chokebomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special to see here though it does give the Bashams a little momentum as we head into next week’s title match. The tag division isn’t exactly strong right now but Van Dam and Mysterio have felt like filler champions since they won the belts. That’s not a bad thing but I’m not sure who is going to work well as champions.

Angle lets himself into Amy’s dressing room but she’s in the shower. The suit comes off and, after Angle rubs his nipples, it’s Joy in the shower and a lot of screaming ensues. Angle pulls her towel off and smiles again as Joy runs off. Angle gets his pants on and chases after her, but finds Big Show holding her, meaning panic sets in as Angle tries to explain things. The chase is on and they wind up in the ring as the announcers try to figure out the locker room situation. Reigns and Jindrak try to help and get destroyed but Angle grabs a chair. This goes badly as well and Angle is dispatched.

Post break, here’s the same thing you just saw.

JBL, Amy and Jordan are very happy about what happened and of course Amy has put a sign up on Joy’s locker room to mess with Angle. Yeah it was telegraphed but it worked fine.

Raw Rebound.

Heidenreich punches a wall to warm up as Heyman tries to calm him down about the casket. He was totally going to volunteer to be on Heidenreich’s team if Long didn’t order him to do it.

Heidenreich/Paul Heyman vs. Undertaker

If Heidenreich/Heyman win, they can pick a different stipulation for the Rumble match. Heyman is in a suit here. Heidenreich starts for the team and shoulders Undertaker down, which is more success than you would usually expect against undertaker. An armdrag of all things takes Heidenreich down but he sends Undertaker into the corner and hammers away.

The chinlock doesn’t do anything so Heidenreich knocks him down for two more. Undertaker is right back with his usual series of strikes and the jumping clothesline puts Heidenreich back down. Snake Eyes into the big boot sends Heidenreich to the floor….and we’ve got druids.

They bring two caskets to the ring (Cole: “Perhaps one casket is for Heidenreich and the other is for Heyman!”) and Heidenreich panics. He tags Heyman and runs out into the crowd as Undertaker’s head snaps to Heyman. A lot of screaming is cut off by the Tombstone and Heyman is sent into the casket for the win. To be fair the casket is outside so I guess it would be a countout. Then again there’s no bell so I guess it’s just assumed.

Rating: D. This was exactly what it should have been as Undertaker vs. Heidenreich in a long match is nothing I ever need to see again. Since WWE seems to think they MUST finish this feud though, keeping it short is the best idea possible. Now just let Undertaker crush him at the Rumble (in another short match) and be done with it.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener carries a lot of the show and the Angle/Joy thing was fine, though the Undertaker vs. Heidenreich stuff just isn’t working. They need to get to the Royal Rumble build already so Cena can become the main event star he’s destined to be. You can feel the energy when he’s on screen and there’s no one even close to that right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: November 18, 2004
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re done with Survivor Series and unlike Raw, there isn’t much to go on at this point. Team Guerrero won the big match on Sunday and World Champion John Bradshaw Layfield retained the title by cheating to beat Booker T. There is one big match set up for this week though, as United States Champion Carlito defends against John Cena. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s a serious John Cena to get things going. Cena says the champ is back and talks about Carlito thinking he’s man enough to steal a chain. Carlito tried to have him taken out in a nightclub to take everything away from him. That’s why tonight we’ll see if Carlito is man enough to go face to face and handle his business. With the serious part out of the way, Cena starts rhyming about being on fire and how Carlito needs to retire. It’s time for the tides to switch and everyone knows that payback is a censored (their censoring, not mine). As usual, serious Cena brings the goods.

And now, Tough Enough. At least they didn’t open the show with them for a change. Chris Nawrocki still won’t quit. This week’s elimination: Chris Nawrocki. With that out of the way, the remaining five head to the ring where Snow introduces them again and it’s time for a challenge. This week there’s a flag set up in a corner and you have to get by the Basham Brothers to capture it. Al Snow reads off a bunch of rules, basically saying it’s grappling and strength instead of fighting.

Everyone has thirty seconds and it’s Mike Mizanin starting things off. He’s taken down with ease and the Bashams lay on him until a rope break lets Mizanin get up. The remaining nine seconds don’t work either and time is up.

Ryan Reeves goes next and powers into them, which works better but he still can’t get past the middle of the ring. He certainly got closer than Mizanin.

Daniel Rodimer is third and uses the size to get close but they have to stop the clock at nine seconds because they’re in the ropes. Why they didn’t stop it when Reeves was in the ropes isn’t clear but the Bashams take him down again and time expires.

Justice Smith goes fourth and tries a straight ahead approach, which gets him the closest so far, though still not that close.

Daniel Puder goes last and gets a foot or two away before being pulled back by the numbers game.

Snow says the Bashams win the contest.

Rey Mysterio walks in on Michelle McCool and Rob Van Dam stretching. This is in no way an excuse to have Michelle stretching in limited clothing or to have Van Dam bridging up from his back and managing to do the finger point anyway.

We look at Carlito’s debut where he won the US Title.

Carlito and Jesus come in to see Theodore Long with Carlito claiming a shoulder injury to keep himself out of the match. Even the doctor’s note and the x-rays aren’t enough to sway Long, because Cena was stabbed six weeks ago and is wrestling anyway. Carlito yells in Spanish but Long only understands Ebonics. Oh and swallow that apple.

Paul Heyman straps Heidenreich into the straitjacket and tells him that the match against Undertaker was a moral victory. Heidenreich is Undertaker’s own personal demon and Heyman has never seen Undertaker look at anyone that way. For tonight though, Heidenreich needs to focus on Charlie Haas. Heidenreich says let’s get this over with (amen brother), sounding more solemn than ever.

Heidenreich vs. Charlie Haas

Haas is ready to fight but Heidenreich needs to fold up his straitjacket so Heyman can hold it. Charlie jumps him from behind, knocking Heyman and the straitjacket to the floor. Heidenreich snaps and hits a shoulder breaker but doesn’t cover. Instead he slaps the mat and bails to the floor, shouting about how he didn’t fail until it’s a countout.

Post match Heidenreich goes into the crowd, lays on the ground, and shouts about how he can’t fail.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Non-title. Kenzo kicks Van Dam to start and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Rob picks Rey up and hits a double legdrop with Cole describing them as supple tonight. Uh, yeah. Kenzo starts in on Rey’s knee and Rene trips him to the floor like a true villain. With Rob making the save, Rey is fine enough to hit a top rope dropkick on Suzuki. Back from a break with Rey still in trouble and Kenzo possibly having a broken nose.

A top rope hurricanrana sends Dupree flying but Kenzo is right back in to whip Rey into the corner. The chinlock goes on as Cole talks about Kenzo being part of the Japanese national rugby team. Tazz finds this to be the most amazing thing ever and goes into a rant about Japanese baseball players for reasons I don’t think I want to understand.

Kenzo drops a knee for two and it’s off to an armbar. The sitout bulldog plants Kenzo and it’s off to Van Dam for the stepover kick and a top rope kick to the face to put Dupree outside. Rey’s springboard seated senton sends Kenzo into a sunset flip from Van Dam for two. The 619 into the Five Star finishes Suzuki.

Rating: D+. Imagine that: Suzuki and Dupree are enough to bring down two of the best performers in the company. This was another lame performance from the champs as they desperately need to drop the belts already. They’re a bad evil foreigner team and at the moment, Mysterio and Van Dam are the only viable option to take the titles.

We look at Carlito taking the US Title from Cena via shenanigans.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a chat. He’s the most giving superstar on the roster and to prove it, he’s introducing the Kurt Angle Invitational. Every week, a hometown star can get in the ring with him because he’s here to prove that no one can beat him. If by some miracle he loses though, the winner will receive his gold medal.

Kurt Angle vs. Dean Visk

Visk wrestled in OVW for awhile. Angle wrestles him to the mat for some slaps to the back of the head as the confidence is already high. Dean takes him down as well but Angle’s offer of a handshake is a ruse for a poke to the eye. It’s a belly to belly into the Angle Slam into the ankle lock to make Dean tap.

Orlando Jordan meets JBL’s new image consultant Amy Weber.

We look at Carlito denying being involved in John Cena’s attack.

Here are JBL and Orlando Jordan for the Survivor Series victory speech. It is morning in American and the swing state of Ohio is coming up JBL. Every few years, someone comes up head and shoulders above the rest. Larry Bird, Magic Johnson and Dominique Wilkins were great but then came Michael Jordan. Eddie Guerrero, Booker T. and the Undertaker have been cornerstones of this company but they came along in the JBL Era.

The fans here will remember this night forever and it’s all because of JBL. Since JBL has been champion, the economy is up, unemployment is down and there has not been a major terrorist attack on American soil. He is the symbol of America but here’s Booker T. to interrupt. Booker calls Orlando a house boy who slid the title in to save JBL’s championship. He wants a rematch right here tonight but here’s Eddie Guerrero.

Here are the Tough Enough guys. Each one gets a chance to get you to vote for him, with each of them saying it’s their dream to get in this business. Go vote.

Joy Giovanni works on Carlito’s shoulder because the Diva Search women are now just working in various jobs in WWE.

We look at Cena chasing Carlito out of Survivor Series.

US Title: Carlito vs. John Cena

Carlito is defending and has a bad shoulder. Cena beats up Jesus and throws Carlito into the barricade for some right hands to the head. A chair show crushes the shoulder and we get the opening bell. We also get the FU to give Cena the title back in less than thirty seconds.

Post match Cena goes to get the chain back but Jesus jumps him from behind, going after the bad kidney. A chain to the kidney has Cena down and the medics run in to check on him. Even Tazz is in there as Cena does a stretcher job to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t exactly a wrestling show with three matches too short to rate and a fourth that was rather boring. Cena winning the title back but going on the shelf again with the kidney deal is just about the same situation that we had before, albeit with Cena holding the title instead of Carlito. Other than that, it was a lot of talking to set things up for later, which doesn’t make for a good show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

So here we are. After all these months, we’ve finally arrived at Wrestlemania and as JR has put it, it don’t get no bigger than this. The main event is Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar (THIS TIME FOR SURE!), along with Ronda Rousey making her long awaited in-ring debut. It’s hard to say what to expect, other than a very long show with a lot of stuff crammed in. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show. My seat was in the lower arena in the corner, opposite the hard camera. I was looking almost directly at the upper right hand ring post.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are in on commentary for this, along with Saxton. I was coming into the stadium as the wrestlers came down the ramp so my timing couldn’t have been much better. As usual, it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going on to start until Aiden English is eliminated. Anderson gets rid of Viktor and it’s already time for Ziggler to do his last second saves.

There goes Hawkins (who I still can’t wait to see actually win something) R-Truth and Goldust reunite for all of eight seconds before Goldust tosses him. With an incorrect countdown to Wrestlemania clock on the screen, Primo is eliminated as well. Mike Kanellis is out (I forgot he worked here too) as Byron tries to explain the Woken Universe to JR. With Jim not exactly sounding interested, Apollo knees Breeze out.

Viktor is out next and the ring is starting to clear a bit, at least to the point where you can at least see the mat. Matt does his rapid fire rams into the buckles to rock Goldust, drawing another DELETE chant. Ryder loads up the Broski Boot on Ziggler but Mojo Rawley runs him over for another elimination to make the fans hate him even more. Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows and we take a break.

Back (After they showed the commercial in the stadium. You know, the place WHERE WE’RE WATCHING WHAT THEY’RE ADVERTISING!) with Revival getting rid of Apollo. Wilder is sent to the apron but a Dawson save allows them to eliminate Benjamin instead. The Revival is sent out at the same time, followed by Kane getting rid of the Miztourage. We cut to the crowd where John Cena is watching as a fan (because of course he is) and come back to see Cara being tossed as well.

Kane uppercuts Fandango out and Slater makes the mistake of going to the apron, allowing Corbin to get rid of him as well. Gable joins him on the floor, leaving us with Corbin, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Fandango, Kane, O’Neil and Dillinger. That means a Kane vs. Corbin showdown but everyone else interferes before anything happens. Titus starts cleaning house and throws Ziggler over his shoulders, only to get superkicked and clotheslined out. Goldust snaps off the powerslam to Ziggler and it’s Shattered Dreams to Tye.

Ziggler is ready for him though and dumps Goldust but gets punched down by Hardy. That gives us the TEN vs. DELETE showdown, which I didn’t know I needed to see. A Twist of Fate is enough to get rid of Dillinger, followed by Ziggler superkicking Kane’s hands. Kane dumps him without much effort but Corbin dumps his fellow giant to get us down to Mojo, Corbin and Hardy. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the double teaming begins. Not that it matters as we’ve got Bray Wyatt to save Hardy, allowing him to eliminate Rawley. Wyatt takes End of Days but Matt gets rid of Corbin to win at 16:34 as Wyatt wasn’t entered.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was terrible, running WAY too long and making me wonder when it was going to be over. So many of these people just don’t need to be on Wrestlemania (Hawkins, Ascension, R-Truth, Primo, Kanellis, Rawley to name a few) and they’re just extending the show by being in this. Matt winning makes the most sense as it’s not like many other people in the match are doing anything at the moment.

Matt and Bray pose post match as Bray is officially good. Now just don’t get injured and lose your spot again.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

The title is vacant coming in, Drake Maverick is at ringside and Ali is SubZero for some reason. Cedric shouts a lot and they shake hands for the sake of good sportsmanship. An exchange of shoulders goes to Cedric so Ali snaps off a hurricanrana for our first standoff. Back up and Cedric flips away to grab a headscissors, followed by a dropkick for two. Ali gets sent to the floor and taken down by a big flip dive but there’s no commercial, despite the announcers sounding like they were sending us to one. Nice change of pace for once.

Back in and we hit a waistlock to keep Ali down and a high backdrop gives Cedric two. Another waistlock and a knee to the ribs keep Cedric on target as he certainly has a game plan. Cedric plants him with a Spanish Fly and counters a tornado DDT by crotching Ali on top. With Ali stunned, Cedric goes up as well but gets caught in a super Spanish Fly, which even impresses Cena. The 054 is broken up with a shove to the floor and now we go to the inset ad for Rousey’s debut. At least they didn’t show this in the stadium, which would have almost been just as annoying as showing the whole thing.

Back with Cedric getting caught in a reverse hurricanrana and now the tornado DDT connects. The 054 hits this time but Cedric gets his foot on the ropes. Another 054 attempt misses and Alexander elbows him in the head. Ali gets elbowed down again and the Lumbar Check gives him the title at 12:18.

Rating: B-. This was a lot less competitive than I remember it being as Alexander dominated from the beginning and ran over Ali save for a little flurry near the end. Alexander winning is the right call and I’m glad neither of them went heel here. They both looked good but Ali was a step behind what he usually does here. I had a good time with it and Cedric winning is a feel good moment. That’s all you could ask for here.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Naomi, Carmella, Mandy Rose, Peyton Royce, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Sarah Logan, Dakota Kai, Sasha Banks, Mickie James, Bianca Belair, Becky Lynch, Kairi Sane, Taynara Conti, Sonya Deville, Lana, Bayley, Ruby Riott, Natalya, Dana Brooke

Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary. Royce, Devi, Kai, Belair, Sane and Conti are from NXT. Lynch, Bayley and Banks are the only ones to get entrances. Carmella poses with the briefcase at the bell and gets gang attacked, meaning it’s an early elimination. It’s Dana being circled (Dana: “THAT’S NOT NICE!”) and gang attacked for the elimination.

Everything breaks down and the NXT women stand tall, meaning it’s time for the required NXT chant. Becky yells at Devi for stealing the orange look and gets slammed for her complaints. Mandy gets tossed and Paige is panicking. Deville is slammed down and Belair is allowed to hit a 450 as we take a break.

Back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow on Riott during the commercial. Devi is tossed and Conti is knocked out a few seconds later. Belair whips Becky with the hair but gets kicked out in short order. Kai kicks Naomi in the face to put her under the ropes and out to the floor. Banks gets rid of Kai and Riott punches Mickie out. Now it’s Royce firing off some kicks but the Riott Squad superkick her out to a chorus of boos.

We’re down to the Squad, Natalya, Banks, Bayley and Naomi on the floor. Natalya suplexes Riott and Logan down but Bayley saves Sasha from the same. Bayley and Sasha get rid of Natalya, Morgan, Riott and Logan in short order. They stare each other down and Bayley gets the quick elimination. Cue Naomi though and the Rear View is good for the win at 9:49.

Rating: D+. I liked it better than the men’s version (that’s not exactly a high bar to clear) but egads what is the point in giving this to Naomi? She’s been doing a grand total of nothing in recent weeks (months really) and there was a story between Banks and Bayley. This feels like giving Orton the Royal Rumble last year in that someone has to win it, even if

And now, the main show.

Khloe and Halle sing America the Beautiful. They’re billed as “the future of music” but I’m not convinced. If that’s the case, I’d expect an original song.

The opening video is about having a good time, just like it was four years ago. The camera walks through the streets of New Orleans and goes into a cafe/club before someone goes onto a balcony to throw beads down to a crowd below. The regular highlight package, set to Kid Rock’s Celebrate and mixed with Wrestlemania XXX highlights (good choice really), takes us into the stadium and my goodness the set looks amazing. It’s designed to look like a Mardi Gras mask, though the bottom looks like a huge mustache over the entrance. Also, several of the wrestlers’ eyes will appear in the mask for a very cool touch.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending after both challengers beat him in one night, which is totally the same thing or something. Rollins has blue contacts in, I guess making him the ice to the fire that burns it down? Still though, looks pretty cool. In another cool addition, there are some personalized 3D projections for some wrestlers, including Miz’s name with quotes around him saying how great and awesome Miz is. These could only be seen on the monitors so I didn’t notice them until the second match.

Miz, looking even goofier than usual with what looks like a red version of Drew Gulak’s old gear, sends the Miztourage to the back so he can do this on his own. Balor has a rainbow shirt on with a group of fans in identical shirts cheering him on from the stage. The screens say “for everyone” with FOR EVER capitalized.

Balor sends Miz into Rollins to start and some rollups get two for all three of them. With Miz being sent outside, Rollins superkicks Balor in the ribs, only to get sent outside. That means a big flip dive onto the two of them as Balor gets the first real advantage. Everyone heads back inside with Rollins hitting a double Blockbuster for two on Balor. Miz takes Rollins down and grabs a chinlock for a few seconds to slow things down. A neckbreaker gets two on Balor and it’s back to the chinlock.

Balor fights up and stomps on Miz’s ribs but gets caught with a Sling Blade from Rollins. Seth isn’t done and hits a suicide dive on both guys, only to get caught in a Sling Blade from Balor. Miz’s short DDT gets two on Seth and he boots Rollins in the face to break up a springboard. A dragon screw legwhip sets up the Figure Four on Balor but here’s Rollins with a frog splash for the break. That looked much better on screen as you didn’t see Rollins until he was on the top and ready to jump.

They all head outside again with Balor escaping the shoulder breaking barricade bomb. Instead it’s a Sling Blade to put Rollins down but he’s back up with an enziguri to rock Balor. That earns him a Pele and the 1916 for two as Balor is stunned. Miz catches Balor on top but gets caught in a buckle bomb, leaving Balor to take the superplex into a Falcon Arrow but Balor reverses into a small package for two. A Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Rollins to cap off a rocking sequence.

Another Finale is reversed into a rollup for two but Balor gets crotched on top. Rollins goes up top with him but Miz is right there with a super Skull Crushing Finale (looked better than it sounds). The cover is broken up with a Coup de Grace and a second hits Miz clean. Rollins runs over with a Stomp to drive Balor’s head into Miz’s back, followed by the regular version to pin Miz for the title at 15:30.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match you expect from the Intercontinental Title as all three were working hard and the match felt very crisp at the same time. Miz will get the title back someday and break both records, as he should. I’m sure Balor will get the title as well, which is nothing but good for the Intercontinental Title. If nothing else it’s cool to see the former World Champions becoming Intercontinental Champions. That wasn’t always the case (After Pedro Morales, the next former World Champion to win an Intercontinental Title was HHH in 2001) but it’s a good way to give the title some more instant credibility.

Ad for the Andre documentary. I’ve heard good things.

Cena is still a fan. How cool would it be to have him next to you at Wrestlemania?

We recap Charlotte vs. Asuka, which is title vs. streak. Charlotte has dominated the Women’s Division for nearly three years now but Asuka hasn’t a match since debuting in late 2015. The match here is Queen vs. Empress with Charlotte saying she’s ready for Asuka.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and copies HHH’s entrance from Wrestlemania XXX with a throne and three masked men helping her off. These three: Riddick Moss, Tino Sabbatelli and Dan Matha. I’m assuming this was something about she once helped HHH off the throne but now she has her own, but it felt like a tribute to HHH more than anything else. Asuka on the other hand has 3D masks superimposed over her entrance. You know, in case it wasn’t scary enough already.

They fight over a wristlock to start with both of them flipping away, leaving Charlotte to hit the strut. Charlotte trips her down and goes for the leg but Asuka kicks her away, setting up a knee shot for two. Back up and Asuka’s hip attack is blocked so it’s time for the chops. The second hip attack sends Charlotte outside and you can see the cockiness on Asuka’s face.

Charlotte gets back in and it’s time to start cranking on the arm to set up the Asuka Lock. It’s way too early for that though so Charlotte strikes her in the face a few times but has to break another attempt. This time it’s a backpack Stunner to get Charlotte out of trouble and some knees to the head (think the Stomp but with a knee) put Asuka down again. The moonsault misses though as Asuka catches her in a triangle (SWEET!) in the middle of the ring.

That’s reverses into a Boston crab but Asuka rolls her way out of it. They head to the apron (becoming way too common) and Asuka suplexes her down to the floor in a big crash. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Charlotte down for two and Asuka is getting frustrated. They go up top and it’s a super Spanish Fly (I believe that’s three on the night so far) to give Charlotte a big breather.

Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold on the mat before switching to the Asuka Lock. Charlotte reverses that with a rollup before cutting Asuka in half with a spear for a VERY near fall. With Asuka half done, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight, balancing on one hand because of the banged up arm. After hanging on as long as she can, Asuka ACTUALLY TAPS to retain Charlotte’s title at 13:05.

Rating: A-. I was kind of stunned at the amount of time this had as I would have bet on it being at least five minutes longer. This felt like a clash of titans and Charlotte winning gives her a very strong case for being the best of all time. Aside from not being around as long as some others, she has the resume, skill and pure skill to make her the best WWE has ever seen.

Having Asuka do a lot of her usual stuff (albeit cranked up a few notches) was a great way to set up the match as Charlotte was able to hang on and use what she had seen along with her natural athleticism to be ready for what Asuka brought. It was hard hitting, told a story and was an instant classic. Great stuff here, which shouldn’t be that surprising.

Post match Asuka says Charlotte was ready for Asuka and congratulates her.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something (the words “Taker is here” may have been spoken) so Cena jumps the barricade (security around here sucks) and sprints up the ramp. That took something away from the women’s moment. Do the commercial and then move on to the Cena angle. It’s not going to make that much of a difference and lets the women have their full moment.

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Rusev vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending after having a three way feud with Roode and Mahal for the last few weeks. Rusev pinned Orton in a tag match to be added, along with being one of the hottest guys in the company. Aiden English (who has gotten his hair cut since the battle royal) introduces Rusev, in rhyme of course. You can see the fans heading for the concourse during the entrances, which is rather interesting given how popular Rusev was over the weekend. Aside from a Wrestlemania shirt, I saw more Rusev Day shirts than anything else. I guess the repelling powers of Mahal and Orton are too much even for Rusev Day.

The early threat of an RKO sends Mahal bailing to the floor and Rusev dropkicks Roode to the floor. Rusev cannonballs off the apron to take out Orton and Mahal as Phillips acknowledges the popularity of Rusev Day. Back in and Roode’s Blockbuster gets two, leaving Mahal to get punched back and forth between Roode and Orton. A superplex brings Roode down but it’s Mahal asking Rusev for an alliance.

Rusev, realizing that he should have been Mahal last year, stomps Mahal down in the corner instead before getting two off a belly to back suplex. Roode is back with a spinebuster for two on Mahal but gets posted by Orton. Now it’s Rusev kicking Orton down until a spinwheel kick misses. The hanging DDT plants Rusev and English is starting to panic. A pair of RKO’s take out English and Rusev, followed by one to Mahal for a near fall with Roode making the save. Mahal takes a Machka Kick but can’t get the Accolade. Instead he has to deal with Sunil Singh and walks into the Khallas to make Mahal champion at 8:15.

Rating: D. And that is the big middle finger to the fans who thought they were getting somewhere with the Rusev Day chants. WWE wants Jinder Mahal to be pushed in this role and the lack of success and complete apathy to his push means nothing. This is what WWE wants and you can chant RUSEV DAY and buy his merchandise all you want. Mahal is WWE’s guy right now and you can just deal with it until they’re tired of him. Rusev taking the fall here is all the evidence you need: your voices don’t matter here and get over it. The match was as uninteresting as these four were going to be, which was completely expected.

The Fashion Police try to give Mick Foley a ticket but Breeze likes his style, driving Fandango to his knees in terror.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon. Rousey signed with WWE earlier in the year but Angle thinks HHH and Stephanie are just trying to use her. This set off a feud between the two teams with Rousey beating HHH much, only to have Stephanie put her through a table. The match was set up because Rousey needs a debut and putting her in a tag match is the best possible idea. It lets them hide her negatives and accentuate her positives so this has some potential. Of course there’s also the potential that it’s really just about Stephanie, which certainly wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility.

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle

In a near repeat of last year, HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles with a group of motorcycles accompanying them. I don’t know if HHH is just that big a fan of motorcycles or if he just wanted to see his wife as a biker chick again (fair enough) but this didn’t do much for me. Rousey comes out in a Roddy Piper style kilt, in what shouldn’t be a shock to anyone paying attention whatsoever. The fans give Rousey a nice reaction and Stephanie pie faces her before the bell. They’re already milking the heck out of Rousey murdering her and a hair pull makes things even worse.

The men start things off with the fans telling Angle that he still has it. Angle cranks on the arm as they’re actually treating this like a tag match to start. Stephanie offers a low bridge though and HHH sends him into the steps to really take over. A suplex brings Angle back inside and we’re just waiting on this to explode. Back in and HHH calls for and delivers a spinebuster for two. Angle kicks him away and nearly into Stephanie but HHH puts the brakes on in time. A suplex drops HHH, only to have Stephanie pull Rousey off the apron. I’ll give Stephanie this: she knows how to be an amazing heel.

Another kick to the floor is enough for the tag to Rousey and the place goes coconuts. Rousey EXPLODES into the corner (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!”) to pull Stephanie in and scores with a running clothesline. With Stephanie in big trouble (Rouse: “COME ON B****!”), Rousey takes her into the corner and unloads with rights and lefts before throwing Stephanie again. It’s already time for the arm….and Stephanie blocks it by stacking her up.

Back up and Rousey goes into Beast Mode, setting up a spinning Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee out. Rousey: “You’re the biggest cheater I’ve ever seen! I’m going to go continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls Rousey outside as well but Angle takes him onto the announcers’ table. Kurt gets thrown onto the other table so HHH can check on Stephanie. He turns around to see Rousey though and it’s time for some intergender violence.

You can see HHH thinking about it and the fans are WAY into this one. He finally agrees to it and Rousey UNLOADS on him with rights and lefts to drive HHH into the corner. A fireman’s carry has HHH in trouble but Stephanie makes the save. This was GREAT with HHH selling the heck out of the beating and making Rousey look that much better. Stephanie slaps Rousey for some reason and the chase is on, this time with Stephanie sending him into the barricade.

HHH takes Rousey down though and it’s time for Angle to unleash the suplexes. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble but he tries a quick Pedigree. That’s reversed into a catapult into the corner (he always takes that so well) and the Angle Slam gets two. There go the straps (that never gets old) but Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock. Angle doesn’t seem to mind and puts the ankle lock on her (doesn’t look great this time around). That’s broken up with a Pedigree but Rousey makes a save.

A powerbomb attempt to Rousey is countered into a hurricanrana (good one too) and there’s the armbar on HHH. The place (including me) goes even more nuts until Stephanie makes the save with a sleeper (called a rear naked choke, which of course Stephanie knows how to do). That’s reversed into another armbar attempt but Stephanie blocks AGAIN.

The ankle lock goes on HHH and the villains grab hands until HHH sends Angle into the women for the break. Angle and Rousey both get posted and it’s time for the double Pedigree. Kurt sends HHH to the floor and the armbar….is blocked for a third time. Rousey FINALLY gets it on and Stephanie taps at 20:38. Dana White is shown applauding Rousey from the front row.

Rating: A-. I can’t give it anything higher than that due to Stephanie going toe to toe with Rousey (at grappling nonetheless) but this was INCREDIBLY fun and far better than anything I was expecting. They pulled every trick they could to make Rousey look better here and it worked to near perfection. She looked like someone who had been doing this for years and came off like a star who is in this for the long haul. Absolutely incredible here and as entertaining as it could have been. I had a blast, Stephanie issues aside. The ending was fine and the most important part, so we’ll call this a major success.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

The Usos are defending, the New Day has 3D pancakes and, with the call of the DragonZord, Woods’ trombone summons an army of little people dressed like pancakes. I do like the Bludgeon Brothers’ logo with the arms holding hammers to make a B. Kofi wastes no time hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jimmy but Harper makes the save. The Brothers pulls Big E. to the floor for a beating and then powerbomb Woods into the post for good measure.

Back in and Kofi’s beating continues but Jimmy tags himself in and starts kicking away. Some superkicks do a little good but Harper shoves Jimmy into the corner. Jey tags himself in as well (must be a family thing) and starts kicking away, only to have Rowan break up the double Us.

Rating: D+. This feels like a victim of time but it’s not the worst thing in the world. They went out of their way to make the Brothers look like killers and that’s exactly what happened here. I could have gone for a little more time given to the match, but something has to be cut on a show this long and this was one of the most logical choices. The Brothers won though and that’s what matters the most.

Here’s John Cena for a match, though no opponent has been named yet. A second referee runs down though and tells Cena something is wrong. Cena grabs the referee as he’s shaking his head no. This goes on for a bit….and there go the lights….because Elias is here. Elias: “Were you expecting somebody else?”

Well that someone doesn’t have the charisma Elias has, nor does he have the talent that Elias carries in his soul. Cena bails back to his seat in disgust and leaves Elias alone to sing his song, insulting the fans as he always does. As you might guess, Cena gets up and cleans house by initiating his finishing sequence.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner and hammers away, including the running clothesline. Old School sets up Snake Eyes and the WORST BIG BOOT EVER. When you’re sitting hundreds of feet away from the ring and can see the gap between the boot and the hands in front of Cena’s face, it’s a really bad sign. But remember, HE STILL HAS IT. The chokeslam is countered into a belly to back suplex but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, sending Cena falling off his feet in shock. The chokeslam and Tombstone end Cena completely clean at 2:42. Undertaker doesn’t even seem to be sweating.

So….that happened. I definitely like it better than seeing Undertaker stumble through a long match and it certainly should be memorable. Of course it’s not likely to mean anything until next Wrestlemania season, but this is the perfect payoff: Cena has been acting like a complete and utter jerk this whole time and Undertaker threw him the most decisive beating of his career. Even the Lesnar squash saw Cena get in a little offense and a near fall. Here it was a single suplex and that was it. I’m fine with Undertaker going out like this, but at this point I have no reason to believe it’s over.

Hall of Fame video. Hillbilly Jim should be done any minute now.

Here’s the big presentation to the crowd.

Jeff Jarrett. Nice reaction and the strut still looks good.

Mark Henry. No salmon jacket, no buys.

Hillbilly Jim. My hero as a young Kentucky boy.

Ivory. She’s looking better now than she did when she was active.

Jarius JJ Robertson. Did you know he’s cute? Wasn’t sure if that was made clear.

Dudley Boyz. Yep. Next.

Goldberg. I’m hoping those chants aren’t piped in. He does a Green Lantern pose with the ring to wrap things up.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. Owens and Zayn have been going after the two of them for months now and it wasn’t clear where things were going. Then Bryan was cleared to wrestle again and everything came together at once. The evil Canadians have been attacking both of them, including giving Shane a hernia. They’ve been fired, but Bryan wants one more match with their jobs on the line. The question here is whether or not Shane turns on Bryan, which could go either way.

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Shane is in a YES jersey, with the YES being pretty clearly taped on. That sounds like a way for a quick switch to YUP (Owens and Sami’s battle cry) for me. Bryan gets his own entrance, with a Terminator style video, showing the YES chant spreading around the world, even in mainstream sports, before locking in on the home of the YES Movement, which happens to be right here in the Superdome. You can see the emotion on Bryan’s face as he comes to the ring and it’s nearly moving to see.

Owens and Zayn’s music hit but they come in from behind for the big beatdown, including an apron bomb to Bryan. That might be enough for him as the medics come in to check. Even the fans don’t seem to buy this one, as they probably shouldn’t. Shane is willing to fight on his own and YES, we get the lame punches on Owens in the corner. The jumping elbow to the jaw puts Owens down but Shane has to beat up Zayn as well.

Now of course he can do that at the same time, including a jumping kick to Owens and a Maivia Hurricane to Sami. The old hernia pops up though and brings Shane down as we have a stretcher for Bryan. We settle down to Sami taking over on Shane before it’s off to Owens (thankfully in a KO Mania III shirt) to step on the stomach. Owens: “MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY! MONEY ISN’T GOING TO SAVE YOU NOW!”

A superkick sets up the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but Owens gets knocked to the floor. The Helluva Kick misses and Sami gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Of course Shane is fine enough to hit the Coast to Coast but Owens makes the save with a backsplash onto the bad stomach. The frog splash gets two but Bryan comes back in for the save. That’s not enough for a hot tag so Sami gets out of a chinlock by slamming Sami into the mat.

NOW it’s off to Bryan for the first time in nearly three years. He takes his time coming in (as he should) before hammering away on Zayn. There’s the moonsault into the running clothesline, followed by a running knee off the apron to Owens. A missile dropkick puts Bryan down but he grabs his head….and nips up because he’s fine. That was a scary but great moment. The running corner dropkicks rock Owens and Zayn and a top rope hurricanrana drops Sami. Kevin breaks up the knee though and the Helluva Kick is only good for two. My goodness finishers mean nothing on Wrestlemania night.

Owens tells him to stay retired and gets two more off the Pop Up Powerbomb. Since we haven’t seen him in long enough, Shane takes Owens down and we’re back to even again. Back in and Sami hammers away while asking how Bryan could do this to them. That’s enough for Bryan and he unloads with the strikes and YES Kicks, even hitting the big one. The running knee into the YES Lock is good for the submission at 15:25 to keep Owens and Zayn fired.

Rating: C+. This was of course ALL about Bryan, to the point where even Shane’s usual superhero efforts seem to pale in comparison. They didn’t go with the stupid swerve finish for the sake of the storyline because this needed to be Bryan’s night. To go from having no chance to wrestling in a huge Wrestlemania match is more than you could ever ask for and he doesn’t look like he’s lost a step. If he’s back full time, WWE just got one heck of a bonus. Not a great match, but the ending was what it should have been.

Bryan and Shane celebrate with Bryan going to the floor to kiss Brie in a nice moment.

Attendance announcement.

We recap Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax. Bliss had been her friend for a long time but was eventually caught making fun of Nia’s size and weight. This didn’t sit well with Jax and it was time to SMASH. And take the title. Bliss is suddenly ultra confident despite being a foot shorter and about 160lbs lighter.

Raw Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is challenging and comes down from the set on a mini platform. So that’s what happened to Bad News Barrett’s stage. Hang on a second though as Nia needs to destroy Mickie James before the bell, meaning this is truly one on one. Bliss slaps Nia due to high levels of stupid and Jax’s growl gives us a horror movie level scream in response. Makes sense actually.

There’s a gorilla press to plant Bliss as the dominance isn’t taking time tonight. That’s not the beginning of the end for some reason as Bliss starts in on the knee to take over, including a double knee to the knee in the corner. A guillotine choke is shrugged off but Nia goes shoulder first into the post (WAY too common of a spot tonight). Twisted Bliss to the floor drops Nia and the DDT gets two, shocking/scaring the heck out of Bliss all over again.

For some reason Bliss calls Nia pathetic and slaps her a few times….until Nia grabs her by the throat. A charge into the corner is cut off by another kick to the knee but Bliss’ sunset flip is tossed into the corner. Bliss is right back with a poke to the eye but Nia is right back with one of the hardest Alabama Slams you’ll ever see. Since Bliss is mostly dead, it’s a super Samoan drop to put her away for good and make Nia champion at 9:01.

Rating: D+. I was firmly in the camp of this needing to be about a minute long with Bliss getting in nothing beyond a few harmless forearms and I’m still of that state of mind. Bliss didn’t look like a joke here but there’s a time to squash the heck out of someone and that’s what we had here. Jax is a monster and should have destroyed Bliss in short order. Bliss is going to be fine with one more of those cocky promos and it really would have been better to have her get crushed here. The ending did look great though and the right person won, but it’s the wrong path to get here.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. AJ Styles is the ace of the show and has beaten everyone put in front of him. Shinsuke Nakamura won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot and we have a dream match. Both guys have promised to win and hopefully they don’t collapse under the expectations. The hype video goes throughout AJ’s career, including clips of him on Thunder and from TNA (!) because WWE can just do something like that.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by an army of violinists plus Alice Cooper guitarist Nita Strauss playing the heck out of a guitar. That’s one of the better Wrestlemania entrances I’ve ever seen with Strauss’ playing stealing the show. AJ’s graphic lists him as the Universal Champion. If nothing else he gets a cool looking spinning ring of blue light around him once he gets inside for a cool visual.

Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about the Japanese match without talking about the Japanese match. AJ drives him into the corner but gets shoved away as they’re still in low first gear. They hit the mat with Nakamura kicking him in the face before doing his head on the chest arm waving deal. A knee drop keeps AJ in trouble but he breaks up Good Vibrations to offer some mind games of his own.

Back to the corner we go with a hard forearm rocking Styles but he grabs a backbreaker for his first major offense. A knee drop gets two on Nakamura and it’s off to the chinlock. The drop down into a dropkick sends Nakamura outside but he kicks the leg out from the apron. A kick to the head really puts Styles in trouble and a middle rope kick to the face makes it even worse. Nakamura tells him to come on but kicks AJ down. Well dude if you want him to COME ON you have to give him the chance to pull it off.

The running knee in the corner rocks AJ but he’s right back with a pumphandle gutbuster for two. It’s Nakamura’s turn to come back in a hurry though and a Landslide (Samoan Driver) gets another near fall. Some right hands in the corner have AJ rocked but he kicks the knee out to take Nakamura down. There’s the Calf Crusher but Nakamura reverses into a triangle choke (another very popular move this weekend).

That’s broken up with something close to a Death Valley Driver and they’re both down again. Nakamura gets in the kick, only to come up holding the damaged leg. There’s some logic to Styles’ plan at least. The running knee hits the buckle and the Phenomenal Forearm gets two.

AJ needs to bring out the mega guns and tries the springboard 450, which hits the bad knee and gives Nakamura two off a small package. They slug it out until AJ Peles him down, only to get kneed in the back of the head. Nakamura has had it and drives knees into the head before slapping AJ a few times. The Kinshasa is loaded up but AJ rolls through, straight into the Styles Clash to retain at 20:20.

Rating: B. Yeah they didn’t really come close to the expectations here and I can’t say I’m surprised. They didn’t have much going on in the way of telling a story other than both guys hitting their big moves and countering a few of the other’s. There’s no reason to hate either of them and that makes for a dull match if you don’t build to a big finish. It’s certainly good but it never hit that next level that people were expecting. Oh and both Royal Rumble winners lose in their title shots. What a great use of the pay per view.

Post match Nakamura presents AJ with the title….and hits him low (with some Ric Flair level force) to turn heel. Nakamura mocks the fallen champion and kicks him to the floor for Kinshasa. For some reason he flashes a Diamond Cutter sign as he goes up the ramp. Maybe he’s a DDP Yoga user?

Now this was good, but why not do this BEFORE NAKAMURA LOST CLEAN? Do it at the worthless Fastlane or on any show before this match. Give them something more personal to fight over, because what we got for a story here was lacking a bit. I don’t get why WWE thinks this has as much of an impact after a loss, because it really doesn’t work. If nothing else have Nakamura hit him low to steal the title after Kinshasa didn’t get the job done. Just something other than this.

Kickoff Show recap.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

Strowman won the shot by winning a tag team battle royal on his own and his partner has been quite the topic of debate coming into this show. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float to the tune of When the Saints Go Marching In before switching to their usual entrance. I was worried I was a bit too tired and imagined all the costumed people on the float but not so much apparently.

Strowman comes out and turns the float over off the stage but has no partner. He knows everyone wants to know who it is, but he wanted to wait until he got to New Orleans. That’s because his partner….is a member of the WWE Universe. Strowman looks around forever and finally sees someone in the crowd. He goes into the crowd (this is taking WAY too long) and finds….a ten year old boy. The boy, named Nicholas, is introduced as Strowman’s partner as Graves is losing his mind.

Nicholas is terrified (completely understandable) as Braun starts (good idea) with Sheamus. Graves isn’t sure about this as Nicholas probably has algebra tomorrow. Fans: “WE WANT NICHOLAS!” A chokeslam gets two on Cesaro but Braun gets double suplexes. With Sheamus talking trash to Nicholas, he drops a top rope knee for two. On Braun, not the kid.

Braun crossbodies both of them down and Sheamus gets backdropped over the corner for a NASTY fall, hitting both the post and the steps on the way down. That’s enough for the tag to Nicholas….who tags straight out again. The powerslam on Cesaro is good for the pin and the titles at 3:57.

Rating: F. I laughed when it happened but the more I think about this, the worse and worse it looks. If you want to do this over a comedy team or something then fine, but after everything Cesaro and Sheamus have done over the last few years, this is the best they can get? Having Brains Strowman come out there would have been a better move as this comes off as a stupid idea where they just refused to pick something and went with the first stupid idea that came to their heads. Put Hawkins out there if this is the best thing you can come up with. I didn’t like this idea as it makes it into a total joke, which shouldn’t be the case.

Wrestlemania XXXV is in New York. Well New Jersey but whatever. I’m good on that one.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns. Lesnar won the Universal Title at last year’s show and Reigns won the Elimination Chamber after doing nothing main event level for months. Reigns went on to call Lesnar out for not being here all the time and just doing what’s best for himself, which earned Reigns a series of beatings. But hey, this time for sure, right?

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and nope, the plan didn’t work. As you might expect, the fans boo him out of the building all over again because THIS ISN’T WORKING. After the Big Match Intros, Lesnar hits three German suplexes in the first thirty seconds. Reigns is right back up with two Superman Punches and a running clothesline to put Lesnar on the floor. Brock grabs a belly to belly on the outside, followed by a second one with Reigns almost landing on his head.

The fans chant for CM Punk as Brock loads up the announcers’ table. Another belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the table (no elevation at all) and Brock hits another German suplex back inside. A seventh suplex (with a fan providing helpful signs) is almost completely flat as we’re just waiting on the beach balls now.

There’s another belly to belly, during which time the fans started doing the Wave. A fan in my section started shouting about how the fans should just leave if they’re that bored because they’re ruining it for the rest of the fans. He was promptly given a DELETE chant because wrestling fans are rather horrible people at times. It’s time for another table as the fans want Johnny Gargano.

Reigns posts him on the floor as the fans aren’t reacting in the slightest. A spear sends Lesnar over the table (still no reaction) as the Wave is in full swing. The fans loudly boo….because a beach ball is taken away. Reigns gets two off a Superman Punch and two spears and it’s beach ball time again. Brock blocks a spear with a knee for two, followed by the F5 for the same. The fans still aren’t interested, because this just isn’t anything they care about.

F5, two, F5, two (Brock: “MOTHERF*****!”), the fans chant BORING (actually acknowledging the match for a change, F5 through a table (to NO reaction), F5, two. That’s enough for Lesnar as he takes the gloves off and just unloads with the hard right hands as the fans declare this awful. Reigns is GUSHING blood but hits two spears for a near fall. Not that it matters as a sixth F5 retains the title at 15:49, shocking the heck out of the crowd.

Rating: D. Here’s the thing: the match itself is a hard hitting video game match and had some entertaining spots. If you watch it in a complete vacuum, it’s actually good. The problem is, at least in this case, you can’t just ignore everything else and watch the match on its own. This was a complete and utter rejection of everything going on and you can’t ignore it. I’m not sure how much more needs to be done to make it clear that Reigns isn’t working but this might be it. Either that or we try to do this again NEXT year, just because that’s what WWE is obsessed with doing.

I have no idea where they go from here as Lesnar might not be around much longer and other than Reigns, there’s no one that could conceivably take the title from him. Reigns winning here was the logical call, but I can see why they pulled the plug. If it’s that bad though and the fans have rejected him this many times in a row, it’s time to admit defeat and move on. Hopefully that’s what the loss means, but stranger things have happened, just with Roman alone actually.

After a long highlight package, as in about seven minutes long, a cleaned up Reigns walks up the ramp to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. You know, there’s a pattern to these mega long shows. For the last three years, they’ve all started off white hot for about two hours but then they hit a road block and go sailing off a cliff. In Dallas it was the Cell, in Orlando it was the mixed tag and here it was pretty much everything after Rousey’s match (Bryan and Styles’ matches ranged from good to acceptable).

Maybe it’s having Reigns as the big finish or maybe it’s just the length of the shows, but they simply can’t maintain the momentum they set up at the start of these shows. It’s like they just run out of ideas and throw whatever nonsense they have on the screen, which may or may not work. I can get that with a small writing staff, but with THIRTY WRITERS put together into two groups, there’s never an excuse to run out of ideas this quickly.

Overall, the show is more good than bad, thanks to the first two matches, the mixed tag, Bryan and AJ, but they really needed to shed….oh a good two hours to get this down to manageable. Notice that I keep saying that year after year. Seven hours is just not something that anyone can pull off because eventually your buzz goes away. It’s happened to me three years in a row and I can’t imagine I’m in the minority. Just give us a break at some point because not everyone needs to be on the show. If you’re only good enough to be thrown into the battle royal, odds are you don’t belong on the card.

Really, the mixed tag main eventing would have made more sense (like you would EVER have to ask Stephanie if she wanted to main event Wrestlemania). If they were going to pull the plug on Reigns winning the title here, go with the feel good, fun match and let Rousey look like the big star. It would make more sense but Reigns seemed to be set in stone for that spot, pretty obvious reaction aside.

All in all, Wrestlemania XXXIV is a good show that needs a MAJOR edit to make it work. Switch the lineup around, shorten some matches, cut some matches (in other words, GET THE TIME LOWER) and you might have something great on your hands. As it is though, it falls into the same category as the other two mega long shows: a hot start, but they run out of gas because there’s a limit to how much wrestling any large group of fans can take.

Results

Seth Rollins b. The Miz and Finn Balor – Stomp to Miz

Charlotte b. Asuka – Figure Eight

Jinder Mahal b. Randy Orton, Bobby Roode and Rusev – Khallas to Rusev

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle b. HHH/Stephanie McMahon – Armbar to McMahon

Bludgeon Brothers b. New Day and Usos – Double sitout superbomb to Kingston

Undertaker b. John Cena – Tombstone

Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – YES Lock to Zayn

Nia Jax b. Alexa Bliss – Super Samoan drop

AJ Styles b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Styles Clash

Braun Strowman/Nicholas b. The Bar – Powerslam to Cesaro

Brock Lesnar b. Roman Reigns – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. New Day

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Ryback gets rid of Goldust but Kane saves Big Show for no logical reason. Miz and Mizdow take a double chokeslam from Kane, who is quickly slammed out by Cesaro. Show dumps Jimmy but gets picked up by Cesaro again, only to escape and dump Cesaro with ease. Ryback grabs a spinebuster on Show and is eliminated for trying to get any momentum.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

Truth sets up the big ladder but Stardust goes for the climb, only to get superplexed back down by Barrett. Bryan, Ziggler and Ambrose go up top until Dean drops down and shoves the ladder over. Dean goes up until Harper powerbombs him off the ladder and through a ladder bridged between the barricade and ring. Ziggler tries a sleeper on Harper as he climbs, followed by the Zig Zag to bring them crashing down.

Somehow Dolph is able to climb up, only to have Barrett pull him down into the Bull Hammer. Another one knocks Truth off but Bryan makes a quick climb and kicks Barrett down. Barrett is right back up though and makes a save, followed by a quick running knee from Bryan, allowing him to climb up, headbutt Ziggler off and win the title at 13:55.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank and has Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his personal stooges. Seth starts by flipping away from Orton, only to eat a dropkick and bail to the floor from the threat of an RKO. Back in and a big clothesline looks to set up the RKO again but the Stooges offer a distraction to break it up. Orton deals with them early off a double elevated DDT from the apron.

Ronda Rousey is here.

HHH vs. Sting

No DQ or countout. Sting is played to the ring by some kind of Japanese band with drums and a gong. As you might expect, HHH completely upstages him with a full on Terminator commercial with the robots rising from the stage, a clip from the movie, HHH dressed as a Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appearing on screen for the introduction. It might be time to call in Robocop.

Sting fights them off with ease and backdrops HHH onto them, setting up a dive off the top (remember that Sting is 56 here) to take them all out. Back in and a Pedigree gets two so HHH gets the sledgehammer (one of at least two under the ring). This brings out the NWO (Hall, Nash and Hogan) to save Sting (SO much wrong with that statement, not even counting trying to remember if the Kliq exists in storylines or not). They take their sweet time and eventually clean house, allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) for two.

Ads for new shows coming to the WWE Network, including the new Divas Search.

Maria Menunos, in a Bushwhackers shirt, brings in Daniel Bryan. First ever Intercontinental Champion Pat Patterson comes in to congratulate him, as do Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair (of course) and Bret Hart, who starts a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and scares them all before hitting his catchphrase.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Real people vs. reality stars (from Total Divas), even though Paige had already become a cast member. Nikki is Divas Champion and in the middle of her reign of doom. Paige debuted at the Raw after Wrestlemania last year and has formed a dream team with AJ to take on the sisters.

Rating: C-. This was a handicap match for the first half with Paige cleaning house, which was made even weirder when AJ came in anyway. Not that it mattered though as the Bellas were going to be pushed as the stars as long as they wanted to because of that stupid reality show. In theory this should have set up AJ as the next challenger but she retired later in the week and left the company for good.

We get a tale of the tape for Lesnar vs. Reigns, which Cole says is the result of a computer analysis. The stats include height, weight and career accomplishments. Did this computer analysis take place in the Korean War?

Hall of Fame video, with highlights of Lanny Poffo reading a poem to induct his brother Randy Savage and Connor Michalek receiving the first Warrior Award.

The Class of 2015 includes Rikishi, Larry Zbyszko (mainly famous in the 80s), Alundra Blayze, Connor Michalek, the Bushwhackers (with Butch on crutches but still doing the strut), Tatsumi Fujinami (a legendary Japanese wrestler), Randy Savage (represented by his brother), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Kevin Nash (for the required Kliq member, though I wonder why he can go in under his real name and not Hall).

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Rusev blames Lana for the loss.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

The pre-show panel talks about the Tag Team Title match and Big Show winning the battle royal. Thanks for reminding me.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to brag about the new attendance record and desperately fill in some time as we have two matches left and nearly an hour and a half to go. Stephanie talks about watching Wrestlemania I live and seeing her friend Andre the Giant (This was a thing for her around this time as she would mention this whenever she could. For some reason this was her justification for not letting Cena be in the Andre battle royal.).

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Ad for Extreme Rules.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

A belly to belly overhead brings Reigns back in over the top rope but Reigns shakes his head at Brock again. Another F5 gets two and now Brock take the gloves off. Some hard slaps put Reigns down but he tells Brock to bring it on. Another German earns him another bring it on so Brock gives him suplex number ten. The third F5 gets two more, putting Reigns past Undertaker last year. Brock takes Roman outside but Reigns posts him, drawing some real blood from Lesnar.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The Curb Stomp puts Brock down but Reigns has to spear Brock down to save Seth from an F5. Another Curb Stomp (and a whisper of “thank you so much” to Reigns) gives Seth the title at 16:43!

Rating: A-. They went in a TOTALLY different direction here and it was the best thing they possibly could have done. Reigns vs. Lesnar had little interest as a match but as a one sided war with Reigns giving it everything he had near the end, they turned it into one of the most dramatic spectacles you could find. They had me on the near fall after that second spear and I lost it when Rollins came out.

Fireworks and posing take us out.

Overall though, this was a major surprise and a better show than it had any right to be. The low expectations helped it a lot, but this was looking like one of the worst Wrestlemanias in history and wound up being a lot of fun. Nothing on it really stands out above the rest (save for maybe the main event) so the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Really fun show here.

Ratings Comparison

New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Original: C+

Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: D

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match

Original: B

Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B-

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Rusev vs. John Cena

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Yeah the shock had a lot to do with it but there was good stuff throughout.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The stage is HUGE and has a big circle in the middle for a Titantron.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kid vs. New Day

Kofi dives off the top onto Fernando, leaving Jimmy to drop Kidd for a close two. Cesaro drops Jimmy with an uppercut but Big E. tags himself in for a splash on both guys. He throws Kofi at Cesaro for two but everyone goes to the corner for a series of superplexes, a splash and Los Matadores with a powerbomb into a backstabber for two on Kofi. Natalya (and her very low cut outfit) offer a distraction, allowing Torito to hurricanrana Woods into the barricade.

Kofi kicks Kidd and knees Cesaro in the corner but Los Matadores get in there to knock Cesaro to the floor. The announcers are already calling this a car wreck. A six man Tower of Doom puts everyone not named Uso down, leaving Jimmy to splash Big E. but Cesaro runs in to steal the pin and retain at 10:00.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Bo Dallas breaks up the Broski Boot and dumps Ryder, only to eliminate himself in celebration. He goes back in anyway so Itami kicks him out again. Kidd and Itami kick it out but Big Show punches Hideo out. So much for NXT meaning anything. Kane dumps Los Matadores and Cesaro throws Sin Cara onto the two of them. Henry throws Kidd onto the pile but Ascension gets together to throw him out.

Show counters the Meat Hook and throws out Ryback, leaving Show to smile at the only two left. The fans cheer for Mizdow, who FINALLY tells Miz no. Miz tries to talk him down and yells at him as Big Show just stands around for two minutes while they argue. Miz goes after Big Show and gets eliminated to a big reaction, only to turn around and see Big Show.

JBL keeps harping on Big Show never winning a battle royal in WWE but Mizdow skins the cat to get back inside. He hammers away but gets taken down by a shoulder. Mizdow avoids a charge to send Show to the apron but Show grabs him by the throat. A guillotine choke looks to do the same ending as the 2004 Royal Rumble but Show shoves him off and wins at 18:11.

The opening video features LL Cool J talking about how universal the world has become with everyone being connected. However, one thing stays the same: us. People come together and feel a connection between themselves. J talks about some great moments in Wrestlemania and says these generations have come together for this night. Kind of a far cry from the huge party down the streets of New Orleans.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Stardust vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Orton has elbow pads again. Some headlocks get us nowhere so Rollins does a standing backflip, only to eat a dropkick. After a quick chase on the floor, Rollins stomps away in the corner but Orton takes his head off with a clothesline. The RKO is broken up by a Stooges distraction, earning them a double elevated DDT onto the floor to get us down to one on one. It takes too much time though and Rollins nails a suicide dive to take Orton out.

Ronda Rousey is here.

Sting vs. HHH

Sting is played out by a Japanese drum group. HHH one ups him with scenes from the new Terminator movie, a shot from the Terminator’s view, and an army of Terminators on stage. HHH is in Terminator attire and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appears on the screen to say it’s time to play the game. Sting shouldn’t be scared. After all, he knows Robocop. In an added stipulation, you can only win by pinfall or submission. Sting is in his singlet instead of a t-shirt.

After a 45 second staredown, it’s time for the first lockup with Sting shouldering him down. HHH does the same and throws out a crotch chop. Sting is right back up with a dropkick and HHH is stunned. The facebuster is no sold but HHH bails from a Scorpion attempt. Sting follows him out and gets sent hard into the steps to give HHH his first advantage. Back in and HHH starts on the ribs before putting on a chinlock. That goes as far as you would expect before HHH gets two off a spinebuster. We hit the chinlock again but Sting counters into the Deathlock.

Cue the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac (remember no DQ). Sting fights them off with ease and throws HHH to the floor before dives off the top to take DX down! Back in and the Pedigree connects for two with the fans not really buying that as a major threat just yet. It’s sledgehammer time but cue Hall, Nash and Hogan to make it about the Monday Night Wars again. You know, because Sting was SO into the Black and White.

The Death Drop gets two on HHH and we hit a long Deathlock as everyone fights at ringside (with Nash going down and holding his leg, which would be one heck of a rib). Shawn Michaels runs in with Sweet Chin Music to break it up but Sting gets up at two. Gunn hands HHH the sledgehammer but Hall gives Sting the bat. A bat shot to the ribs puts HHH down and another BREAKS THE HAMMER! The Stinger Splash staggers HHH but he comes back with the head of the hammer to knock Sting cold for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. GOOD GRIEF. I was having a great time with the nostalgia until they completely missed the point with the ending. What in the world is the point in bringing Sting in to have him lose? For the sake of doing one more shot at WCW for the Monday Night Wars? That thing that was FIFTEEN YEARS AGO and Vince still isn’t over? The worst part for me was the match was actually rocking before the ending. This was a really fun match until the bad ending, which is way more than I was expecting.

HHH shakes his hand post match. Uh, no. YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND!

New series coming to WWE Network: Camp WWE (Rated mature), Jerry Springer’s Too Hot For WWE, a Jackass style show and the new Divas Search.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Hall of Fame video.

The Class of 2015 is presented. Butch is on crutches but still does the arm wacking.

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev. Cena passed out in the Accolade last month but he choked Rusev out to get a rematch. This is firmly about the USA vs. Russia and Cena wanting to bring the title back home.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Lana is back and carrying the title, flanked by Russian soldiers carrying the Russian flag. Rusev RIDES OUT IN A TANK to the Russian national anthem. Cena counters with an American theme with various Presidents talking about American exceptionalism but just walks out with the fans singing “John Cena sucks” in time to his music ala the Raw after Wrestlemania last year. Rusev insists that his big match intro is first and Cena stares a hole through him.

Post match Rusev yells at Lana and leaves.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas on April 3, 2016.

The pre-show panel talks for a bit and recaps the two matches before the show started.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

No recap but Bray keeps the awesome entrances going with zombie scarecrows that come to life as he passes them. Bray sprained his ankle earlier in the night so he might not be moving like usual. The sun is still partially out so the entrances are nowhere near as ominous as usual. Undertaker has some hair again and looks similar to how he did back in 2002. Bray says all of this is his now and charges into a boot to the face before the bell.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock catches a third spear in the fourth F5 AND HERE COMES ROLLINS! He cashes in right now and I think we have a triple threat! Rollins kicks Reigns to the floor and connects with the Curb Stomp but loads up a second, allowing Lesnar to counter into the F5. Reigns spears Lesnar down but Rollins Curb Stomps Reigns to win the title at 16:43!

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, Stardust, R-Truth, Dean Ambrose and Bad News Barrett – Bryan pulled down the title

Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins – RKO

HHH b. Sting – Sledgehammer to the face

AJ Lee/Paige b. Bella Twins – Black Widow to Nikki

John Cena b. Rusev – Attitude Adjustment

Undertaker b. Bray Wyatt – Tombstone

Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar – Curb Stomp to Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXX
Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is a special one for me and I’m glad that it was the other requested redo. I was in the stadium for this, marking my first ever Wrestleamania live. In case you’re really new at this, the show is all about Daniel Bryan, who will be facing HHH for a spot in the main event. He’s been riding on the strength of the YES Movement for months now and this is the grand finale. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores

The Usos are defending and this is under elimination rules. Zeb Colter introduces the Real Americans (Cesaro/Jack Swagger, which feels like it’s from forever ago). On the other hand, JBL wants to eat El Torito. Just in case you needed both sides of the spectrum there. I also forgot how much I miss the Siva Tao and the Usos’ theme. They’re just cool. Axel and Jey get things going as the fans chant WE THE PEOPLE. JBL gets in his own way by saying Colter is the greatest hero to be in New Orleans since Andrew Stonewall Jackson in 1814. You history buffs know how bad that sounds.

Axel runs Jey over with a clothesline and it’s already off to Ryback, who feels like a relic despite being in the company over two years after this. Ryback runs him over and bangs on his own chest but Diego tags himself in to cut things off. Why you would do that isn’t clear but never let that get in the way of a tag. Diego shrugs off the Usos’ double elbow and gets in an OLE! Somehow he’s still employed to this day so how can I mock him?

Cesaro tags himself in this time and the fans certainly seem to approve. A jumping back elbow puts Swagger down and Diego knocks him to the floor. The Real Americans, Ryback and the Usos are sent outside so Los Matadores him stereo dives. Axel won’t let Torito dive but Los Matadores catch him on top, allowing Torito to drive Axel onto the pile. Back in and the Patriot Lock makes Diego tap at 5:40 to get us down to three.

Axel tags himself in and snaps Jack’s neck across the top rope before running Jimmy over. Ryback gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and some knees to the back keep Jimmy in trouble. We hit the chinlock (notice the REST HOLD sign in the crowd because Wrestlemania fans think they’re rather intelligent) for a bit until Ryback is sent shoulder first into the post.

That’s enough to bring in Jey for the pop up Samoan drop on Axel. Swagger cuts him off with his belly to belly powerslam for two and it’s Ryback snapping off a string of spinebusters. The Meat Hook drops Swagger but Cesaro beaks up the Shell Shock. Cesaro isn’t done as it’s Swiss Death into the Neutralizer to eliminate Ryback and Axel at 11:47.

The fans are behind the Real Americans as we’re down to two teams. A double dive takes the Americans out but Cesaro pulls Jimmy out of the air with a backbreaker for two. It’s too early for the Swing though as Jey tags himself in. That’s fine with Cesaro, who uppercuts his head off too. Swagger grabs the Patriot Lock but Jimmy makes a save. Swiss Death drops Jimmy but Jey is back up with a Samoan drop to put everyone down. The Americans are sent into each other and it’s a double superkick into a double Superfly Splash to Cesaro to retain the titles at 16:13.

Rating: B+. Now THAT is how you do a Kickoff Show match. It was fast paced, it was energetic, the fans were into it (because the fans were already in the stadium and the wrestlers weren’t performing in front of a bunch of empty seats and 500 people) and it was a lot of fun. This match is really great stuff and it had everyone fired up for Wrestlemania. No complaints here and a heck of a performance.

Post match Swagger yells at Cesaro and blames him for the loss. Colter tells Jack to calm down but it’s a Patriot Lock to Cesaro instead. Zeb wants a handshake but Cesaro swings Jack, breaking up the team and making the fans cheer him even more. This should have been the start of a rocket push for Cesaro but it just never clicked for a variety of reasons.

The opening video starts with a man standing on a dark street when a marching band comes in. The voiceover says someone once said a good time starts when we lose track of time it is. “And man oh man, have we lost track of time.” The street fills up with people (and wrestlers, with the Bellas and their signature dance prominently featured) in a Mardi Gras style party with a Wrestlemania highlight package, both historical and modern, airing at the same time. This one didn’t click with me at first but it’s grown on me a lot over the years and now it’s amazing.

As odd as it may seem, the most exciting part of the night is the short stretch between the end of the opening video and the pyro going off. You know it’s coming and it’s just a few seconds away. That’s such a sweet feeling.

Cole: “This is Wrestlemania. Then, now and forever.”

We waste no time in introducing the host of Wrestlemania: Hulk Hogan. Well if you insist. At a milestone show like this, it would have been criminal to not have the most important man in the show’s history front and center. You can tell the fans are ALL over this as they’re losing it over every look he gives the camera. “Well let me tell you something brother” has them even more rabid and I was certainly one of them.

We get the infamous line of Hogan calling it the Silverdome (To this day I still believe that was intentional. Hogan is the oldest player in the business and what’s the big thing that people remember from this? Him slipping up on the line. Then you laugh and chuckle because it’s goofy, and Hogan looks funny in retrospective. That’s the kind of thing he would do.) and not getting why the fans are a little confused. Hogan recaps the first Wrestlemania and messes up the location again.

This time reality sets in and he makes the correction, saying he was thinking about bodyslamming Andre the Giant. Hogan promising more Wrestlemania moments, and you never know when one of those will happen. Then the glass shatters, and the place goes coconuts. I’ve seen a lot of wrestling and it takes a lot to surprise me, but I lost it at this point. This was special and WWE knew what they had here, which is why this is one of the best moments they’ve done in a very long time.

Austin hits all four corners and does a quick staredown for a very cool image. It’s good to be back here at the SILVERDOME and Austin even praises Hogan for everything he did at Wrestlemania I-X (he wasn’t at X but I can live with it here). Austin brings up the two of them wanting to protect their legacies before shaking Hogan’s hand and saying he respects Hogan and everything he’s done for the business. He hits the catchphrase…..and here’s the Rock just in case this wasn’t amazing enough already.

Rock takes his sweet time getting to the ring (it’s a four hour show so it’s acceptable) and even shows off the goosebumps. After hugs and posing, we pause for the completely appropriate THIS IS AWESOME chant. Rock says all five of his senses are on fire because you can see and hear the people, taste it and feel it and OF COURSE you can smell it because FINALLY, the Rock has come back to Wrestlemania. Which means, the three of them have finally come back to the SUPERdome. That means a SUPERDOME chant and thankfully Hogan takes it in stride.

Rock talks about seeing his good friend and his childhood hero, who are the biggest names in the history of the WWE. He’s faced them both at Wrestlemania and they’ve both had an incredible impact on that locker room. Tonight, someone is going to come out here and fight in the name of hustle, loyalty and respect (fans aren’t happy) and that doesn’t happen if Hogan hadn’t promised to say his prayers and take his vitamins. Tonight, someone is going to come out here and rise against the Authority (pause for YES chant) and that doesn’t happen if a bald headed SOB didn’t cross the boss.

Those are facts, just like so many WWE fans having birthdays nine months after Wrestlemania. It’s because of Rock you see. Rock: “Just wait for January. A lot of Rock Babies running around.” Rock even throws out some Wrestlemania rhyming before catchphrases are spoken (with Hogan making sure to say SUPERdome) and beer is consumed. I was ready to go home at this point because this couldn’t have been done better no matter who they brought out. This was special, and that’s how you start a show this important.

Oh yeah. We have three and a half hours left.

We recap HHH vs. Daniel Bryan with the incredible Monster video. The idea is that Bryan has fought his way up the card because this is all that he’s ever wanted to do. Bryan kept fighting his way up, eventually winning the World Title. HHH and Stephanie McMahon, the Authority, didn’t want someone so small and plain being the face of the WWE.

Less than five minutes after becoming champion, HHH then cost him the title, setting up a major feud. The fans would have none of this though and hijacked nearly every show, chanting for Bryan and the YES Movement all night long. Bryan knew he would have to beat HHH once and for all at Wrestlemania, but that’s not all. The winner of the match will move on to the main event for the title.

Make no mistake about it: this push and this feud played a major role in changing WWE for years to come, as the fans suddenly realized that they could power their chosen star to the top of the company. I highly, highly recommend you see this video as it’s one of the best videos WWE has ever put together. You might be noticing a trend in that direction so far tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. HHH

Stephanie, in some very revealing shorts, introduces HHH. Now since this is Wrestlemania, HHH appears on a throne with three gorgeous masked women (Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss) surrounding him. They remove his robe and armor and HHH takes off his skull helmet before the regular music comes on. As usual it’s a lot, but also as usual it’s hard to ignore the three women around him. Dang indeed. Bryan is coming in with a very bad shoulder.

After a minute of staring each other down, Bryan kicks away an offered handshake and gets two off a rollup. Some kicks in the corner have HHH in trouble and the threat of a big kick sends him bailing to the floor. Back in and a hard shoulder to Bryan’s bad shoulder puts him down but it’s a headlock takeover to put HHH down as well. HHH is completely outclassed on the mat so he drives Bryan into the corner as the DANIEL BRYAN chants start up.

A shot to the leg cuts Bryan off again but Bryan is right back up with a tornado DDT off the apron (sloppy, but it did its job) to drop HHH. Bryan follows up with a cannonball off the top to the floor and everyone is down again. Well not Stephanie of course. Like she would ever do what everyone else was doing.

Back in and Bryan gets crotched on top as Stephanie shouts that he’ll never win. They fight outside again and while HHH can’t get the Pedigree onto the announcers’ table, he can drive the shoulder into the table to really take over. Now the real arm work begins with a DDT on the arm and some good old fashioned cranking.

Bryan kicks him away for a second and loads up a suicide dive, only to get punched out of the air to keep HHH in full control. They’re doing a very good job here with the slow beatdown as you don’t want to have Bryan make his comeback too soon. It makes it that much better to give him a beating like this and let it sink in. A crossface chckenwing into a crossface (hold the chickenwing) stays on the arm but Bryan makes the rope. Bryan slugs away and scores with a running forearm, followed by a pair of German suplexes for a pair of two’s.

That’s it for the offense though HHH goes out of the comfort zone with a tiger suplex (what an odd thing to type) to cut Bryan off again. The one suplex worked so well for HHH that he tries the super version, only to get reversed into a sunset bomb. It’s time for the running dropkicks in the corner but a heck of a clothesline turns Bryan inside out (Stephanie: “YEAH!!! WOO!!!”).

This time it’s Bryan popping up with the kick to the head but the Swan Dive hits a raised knee. Why that doesn’t hurt HHH’s knee isn’t clear. Granted he’s too busy going back to the Crossface to care. The grip starts to slip away as Bryan crawls over to the ropes (it’s barely on his forehead) but HHH rolls it back to the middle. Bryan finally switches it over into the YES Lock but a rope is reached. It’s time to get fired up with back to back suicide dives and YES Kicks against the barricade, followed by the missile dropkick back inside.

The shoulder being banged up doesn’t seem to bother Bryan as he nips up for more kicks to the chest. The running knee is countered into a spinebuster though and the Pedigree….gets two, sending the fans right back into their frenzy. JBL and Stephanie are both stunned and a small package for two on HHH makes things even worse. Some more Pedigree attempts are countered so HHH knees him in the head. A third attempt is countered so HHH tries a belly to back suplex. Bryan flips out, lands on his feet, and hits the running knee to go to the main event at 25:55.

Rating: A. Excellent performance and storytelling from both here as Bryan survives everything HHH has to throw at him and wins in the end through pure determination. This was all about HHH being confident that he was the better man coming in and getting frustrated that he couldn’t stop Bryan. You could see the desperation coming in when the Pedigree only got two and there was nothing else he could throw at Bryan.

Also, Stephanie added a lot here with the constant screaming, to the point where you were begging to see her lose. What made it work though was she DID lose and got shown up, a rarity for her. Outstanding stuff here though with everyone doing their thing as well as they could have in a classic match.

Post match Stephanie slaps Bryan for a distraction, allowing HHH to wrap the arm around the post and crush it with a chair. Again: HHH lost his control and is acting like the old savage instead of the corporate boss that he’s become. That’s a nice touch.

New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield

Kane and the Shield both work for the Authority but they’ve been having issues as of late. A few weeks back, Kane sent out the Outlaws and a few other teams to beat Shield down, seemingly going rogue on HHH in the process. Shield comes through the crowd with those thankfully short-lived half masks until Kane INSANELY LOUD pyro interrupts.

Kane and Ambrose slug it out to start with Dean getting the better of it. Reigns comes in to no reaction (oh, it’ll come) and cleans house with the jumping clotheslines and a Samoan drop. The double apron kick hits both Outlaws and everything breaks down in a hurry. Ambrose breaks up a Fameasser attempt on Reigns and there’s a Superman Punch to Gunn.

That leaves Billy all alone so the Outlaws bail, earning a double suicide dive from Rollins and Ambrose. The spear drops Kane and a double spear puts the Outlaws down. It’s a double TripleBomb to the Outlaws (JBL: “There goes the Attitude Era.”) for the double pin at 2:55. Total and complete squash as the Shield has basically turned face already.

Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter are playing with action figures, with DANNY DAVIS refereeing. Ricky Steamboat comes in to challenge….but that’s not happening because Ted DiBiase has bought the toys. I chuckled, though I wonder why Duggan isn’t wearing a shirt. Ron Simmons, cameo, swearing, you get the joke.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Only Sheamus and Big Show get entrances. One thing WWE is VERY good at is sneaking the people to the ring when something (the legends segment) is on the screen distracting you. I was surprised when the lights came back on and the ring was filled up. Yoshi is out first as there are way too many people in there at once to keep track of much. Cody and Kofi are sent over the top but hang in, resulting in a battle of kicks to the ribs as they hang over the apron. Cool visual if nothing else and they both get back in.

There goes Maddox (still Raw GM at this point) and Khali’s chop gets rid of Clay. Khali is dumped out by a posse and McIntyre gorilla presses Ryder out. 3MB tosses Young but Henry tosses all three of them (including future WWE Champion Jinder Mahal). Show eliminates Henry as the ring is getting a lot less full in a hurry. Sheamus dumps Titus and Santino loads up the Cobra because that’s his one joke and he’s going to use it every chance he can.

The Cobra gets rid of Miz (erg) but Alberto throws Santino out in a replay of the 2011 Rumble. There goes Sandow as you can at least see the mat again. Woods was put out off camera and Big E. powerbombs Gabriel out in a big crash. Otunga is out next as even Lawler is acknowledging the rapid eliminations. Fandango kicks out Big E. (Intercontinental Champion in a miserable reign) and the Fandangoing begins. Unfortunately he spends WAY too much time on the apron, allowing Sheamus to hit about 30 forearms to the chest for an elimination.

Truth gets tossed as well and Show mocks the dancing for an unfunny moment. For some reason Rey goes after Show, greatly pleasing JBL who wants Show to eat him. With Sin Cara eliminated off camera, Kidd is tossed as well and Del Rio enziguris Goldust out. We’re down to Cody, Alberto, Kofi, Ziggler, Sheamus, Big Show, Cesaro and Mysterio. Before I can finish tying that list, Cody gets tossed to get us down to seven. The 619 hits Alberto but Cesaro blocks a second attempt and uppercuts Rey out. JBL: “Good.”

Ever the nitwit, Del Rio puts Sheamus in the cross armbreaker but Sheamus powers him up, only to tumble over the top for a double elimination. We’re down to Cesaro vs. Big Show and you know who the fans are behind here. Some uppercuts and clotheslines rock Show but he throws Cesaro to the apron. A chop knocks Cesaro out of the air but he PICKS SHOW UP (ala Hogan slamming Andre) and throws him over the top to win at 13:24.

Rating: D+. Nothing special for a battle royal but that’s to be expected with so many people in there at once. Like I said earlier though, there is no excuse for this not to have launched Cesaro to the moon. The fans wanted to see it happen, he has the skills and they gave him a great moment to set it up. Now how could that possibly fail? Putting him with Heyman really was a death sentence as it brings this expectation and there’s no way around it, which ultimately sank him. Great moment here though and that’s at least hope for the future.

Show shakes Cesaro’s hand and leaves. It takes five referees to bring the trophy into the ring so Cesaro lifts it up by himself.

We recap John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt. Bray hadn’t even been around for a year at this point and it’s his first major match after several months of midcarding it. I’m still not sure what the idea here is, but Wyatt started talking about wanting to destroy Cena’s legacy. I think it was supposed to be giving in to Cena’s inner anger or turning to the dark side, but it wound up with Cena being scared of the Wyatts and saying he’d fight anyway. They were really bad about making the intent clear, which could be said about a lot of Wyatt matches.

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

Wyatt is played to the ring with a bunch of (I think) voodoo dancers and fire around him for a CREEPY visual. Harper and Rowan are here too with Rowan dragging the rocking chair. What a way to debut at Wrestlemania. Cena’s big entrance? Running to the ring. Wyatt drops to his knees and offers Cena a free shot, allowing Cena to “be the monster”. Cena tells him to get up before grabbing a headlock takeover.

That goes nowhere so an uppercut puts Cena down instead. Some maniacal laughter ensues and Wyatt says Cena doesn’t want to fight him. Bray runs him over with a body block but Cena is right back with the clothesline as he goes into a bit of a frenzy. That makes Bray smile and laugh again so Cena chokes in the corner as you can see the anger on his face. A running big boot (Huh?) drops Wyatt again but he’s right back with the suplex slam (always looks painful).

The fans serenade the two of them with He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands and we hit the sleeper/chinlock to keep Cena down. You don’t chinlock Cena though as he comes back with the ProtoBomb but Bray spiders up to block the Shuffle. That’s still one of the coolest signature spots of its day. A release Rock Bottom gives Bray two and he conducts the fans as the singing begins again. Cena manages to get up top but gets powerbombed out of the air for a sick impact.

A spinning gutbuster gives Bray two and a DDT onto the apron knocks Cena even sillier (take a shot for the announcers reminding us that it’s the hardest part of the ring). The fans sing again, this time with their arms waving and Bray is smart enough to acknowledge them. Cena powers out of a superplex but dives onto Harper and Rowan, despite them barely being a factor so far.

Wyatt sends him into the steps, and says he knows what to do now. Apparently that would be take too much time picking up the steps and getting posted as a result. Cena can’t bring himself to use the steps and gets body blocked for two instead. We pause for more singing and the backsplash misses as a result, meaning the first AA connects for two. Harper and Rowan finally get involved as Rowan offers a distraction so Harper can hit a superkick. Cena rolls outside and drives Harper though the barricade. At least he was justified for once.

Back in and Sister Abigail’s Kiss (kissing didn’t really fit Bray) is countered into the STF but Bray is in the ropes. Sister Abigail’s Kiss gets two and Bray backs into the corner in shock for a good reaction. It’s chair time so Rowan comes in for the distraction but Bray throws the chair to Cena instead. He offers him another free shot to end him but Cena hits Rowan instead. I’m not exactly sure if that makes things better. Not that it matters as Cena reverses Sister Abigail into the AA for the pin at 22:27.

Rating: C. And that’s it for Bray Wyatt being a big deal. For the life of me, I have no idea why Cena needed to win this match and I’m never going to get that. Wyatt didn’t have the big win yet and he had clearly gotten into Cena’s head but then Cena just pins him clean. How does this help anyone? Cena doesn’t need an upper midcard win and Wyatt has his legs cut out from underneath him. Horrible, terrible decision here and the match wasn’t even great in the first place.

Recap of the Hall of Fame ceremony. Undertaker coming out during Paul Bearer’s induction was great.

And now for the class presentation:

Jake Roberts (not much of a reaction)

Mr. T. (that mother….)

Paul Bearer (his son does such a perfect impression)

Carlos Colon (next to no reaction)

Lita (ROAR)

Razor Ramon (another roar)

Ultimate Warrior (The camera guy pulled WAY back in case he ran to the ring. This is so hard to watch now, knowing what was coming just two days later.)

That’s a heck of a class actually.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. I think you get the idea here: no man can beat the Streak but a Beast might be able to pull it off. During the build, Undertaker stabbed Brock in the hand to show that he was more aggressive, which is rarely a good idea in wrestling. Heyman got in a great line here by saying Brock is the 1 in 21-1. The end of the video is equally awesome with Heyman saying “Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat, eat, sleep, conquer, repeat, eat sleep, conquer….the Streak.” Finally, the lyrics playing over this: “In times all things shall pass away.” They weren’t exactly hiding things.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Brock looks downright terrifying here, being as chiseled as I can remember seeing him and giving that stare that guarantees death that only he can pull off. Undertaker’s entrance features a line of caskets with each Streak victim’s name on top. They all light on fire because that’s the kind of thing Undertaker does.

Undertaker hammers away to start but the first suplex takes him down twenty seconds in. That seems to wake him up and a necksnap across the top rope staggers Brock. Back in and Undertaker wraps the arm around the ropes before sending it into the post. It’s weird to see Undertaker this aggressive to start. Old School is broken up with right hands as Cole goes over the history of the Streak. Lesnar misses a charge and posts himself so Undertaker kicks him in the bad arm. There’s the apron legdrop as Brock is in trouble for the first few minutes.

Back in and the chokeslam and F5 are both escaped with Undertaker sending the shoulder into the buckle. A running big boot misses though and Brock sends the leg into the post. Undertaker tries a kick but gets shoved down onto the floor, which may be where he suffers a severe concussion. You can see his eyes looking very messed up and he’s not moving nearly as well all of a sudden. Back in and Brock chokes in the corner and OH YEAH Undertaker is gone. That glossy look on his face is scary stuff and Lesnar stomps away at the leg.

Undertaker gets in an elbow to the jaw but Brock easily shoves him down again. You can see Brock trying to figure out what he can do right now because Undertaker has nothing to give him. Heyman offers a near creepy laugh as Brock forearms Undertaker down again and again. I know it’s not the most thrilling thing in the world but this is about all they can do safely in Undertaker’s condition.

A running DDT puts Lesnar down for a few seconds and Snake Eyes into the big boot (or high boot according to Cole) drop him again. The chokeslam gets two and an F5 gets the same with the latter shocking Brock. A quick Hell’s Gate has Brock in trouble but he muscles Undertaker up for the powerbomb break. Undertaker slaps it on a second time (Heyman: “POWER YOUR WAY OUT! YOU’RE BROCK LESNAR”) and it’s a second powerbomb for another escape.

The Kimura goes on but Undertaker actually reverses into one of his own. Brock VERY carefully takes him down (it’s clear Brock knows Undertaker’s head is hurt) and drives some slow motion shoulders to the ribs. Undertaker stops a charge with a raised boot but Old School is countered into a second F5 for two more, sending Heyman into a fit.

Some German suplexes rock Undertaker but Brock can’t follow up. At least we get an awesome speech from Heyman, saying Undertaker is taking Brock’s legacy away from him. Hey now that’s Cena’s deal (whatever it means). For some reason Brock hammers away in the corner and even stands on the ropes while Undertaker is almost seated in the corner. That means the Last Ride but Undertaker can’t follow up.

The worst Tombstone in recorded history gets two (you could see a good eight inches between Lesnar’s head and the mat) and Undertaker is stunned. He’s fine enough to sit up and try another Tombstone, only to be reversed into the third F5 to end the Streak at 25:11. Heyman makes the segment by going from the cocky grin at two to shock and awe at the pin. And no, this wasn’t changed on the fly and Brock didn’t shoot on Undertaker or whatever other nonsense conspiracy theories you’ll see out there. It was the planned finish and Undertaker got hurt during the match. Nothing more.

Rating: D. We’ll get to the important part here in a minute. This is a match where you have to excuse the performance because of Undertaker’s injury. It’s very clear that he was banged up early on in the match and you can see everything chance in a heartbeat. With the concussion, Lesnar wasn’t able to do much to him and Undertaker was only able to do so much on his own. It’s a bad match, but not because of the two people involved. Disappointing, but understandable given the circumstances.

Now for the 800lb gorilla in the room. There are two schools of thought to the Streak and you could go with either of them. There’s the thought that it never should have ended and could have gone on as the one thing that never happens in WWE. I can live with that. At the same time though, there’s the mentality of it has to end sometime and how can you buy that Undertaker, who hadn’t wrestled in a year, could come back and beat Lesnar in one on one match? I can see that line of thinking as well.

However, if you’re going to break the Streak, it should have been on someone with a lot to gain. Sure Lesnar went on to beat Cena for the title in a very memorable match, but there were others who needed the win WAY more (like Bray Wyatt for example). Lesnar does look like an even bigger deal, but Lesnar already was a big deal. What’s the point in giving him something like this if it doesn’t make that much of a difference?

As for the reaction though….I’ve never seen anything like it. It was like Santa Claus was shot in front of all the children in the world on Christmas Eve. The air was let out of the stadium and there was nothing that could be done. This wasn’t something that happened in wrestling and fans didn’t know how to take it. I saw fans crying and running out of their seats while others begged Hogan to come out here and do something about it. But no, the Streak was over, and there was nothing that could be done. That’s how it went down and really, I think I can live with it.

Should he have kept wrestling? Again, I could see it going either way. On the one hand, he had some good matches after this and I can understand why he wouldn’t want to go out this way. That being said, without the Streak, so much of what Undertaker was is gone. It’s a huge part to take away from him and I’m not sure how much of a point there is to continuing at Wrestlemania with the Streak being broken. It’s a hard question, but I could see why he didn’t want to go out, either this way or at all.

The fans are all stunned (complete with the infamous bug eyed guy in the front row) and it takes a few moments for the official announcement. You’ll hear this compared to Bruno losing the title and really, it’s hard to argue this being on the same level. The 21-1 sign comes on the screen as Lesnar and Heyman leave and the announcers act like they’ve seen a murder.

Undertaker looks up the ramp to see that they’re gone before sitting up as the standing ovation begins. He falls back down again though and closes his eyes on the mat for a bit. There’s another situp and the THANK YOU TAKER chants begin. He gets to his feet (Fan: “YOU SUCK!”) and looks around a bit before going back to one knee and shaking his head. The announcers give him a standing ovation as well until Undertaker slowly walks up the ramp. He leaves the stadium….and collapsed backstage as the concussion really was that bad.

Wrestlemania XXXI is in the Silicon Valley.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational

AJ Lee, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Tamina Snuka, Summer Rae, Cameron, Eva Marie, Emma, Layla, Naomi, Natalya, Rosa Mendes

AJ is defending and this is one fall to a finish with only the champ getting an entrance. Vickie, who hates AJ for reasons not important enough to explain, screeches good luck to everyone and we’re ready to go, with everyone in the ring at once. AJ and bodyguard Tamina are shoved into the middle so everyone can beat on her. It’s a big brawl (well duh) and I’m not going to bother trying to keep up with the play by play here.

The Bellas hit a horrible double gutbuster for two on Layla and Natalya stacks up Cameron, Rosa and Fox at the same time. The triple Sharpshooter doesn’t work (partially due to the laws of physics) and it’s a four way cover for a four way near fall. Cameron hits a Codebreaker and snaps her top, which is made worse when Emma puts on the Emma Lock. It’s time for the parade of secondary finishers as they’re trying to get any kind of a reaction here. Brie dropkicks Tamina to the floor and the Bellas hit stereo suicide dives onto the pile (marking the ONLY time I’ve ever thought the Bellas looked cool).

Back in and the twins shove each other, thankfully without wishing the other died in the womb. The Rack Attack gets two on Brie but Alicia comes back in with a good looking tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Nikki. Naomi breaks up the Superfly Splash and we hit the required Tower of Doom spot. AJ grabs the Black Widow on Naomi to retain at 6:50.

Rating: D-. Oh come on how was this going to be anything but a failure? The women’s division was nothing at this point save for AJ and Paige, who would debut the next night (which I called to perfection at least two weeks early). Other than that though, it was a bunch of models trying to be wrestlers and bad action throughout the division. This was a mess, but what were you expecting with fourteen people in there at once?

Mean Gene Okerlund talks to Hulk Hogan (yeah he’s still a thing on here) when Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff come in. Piper COMPLIMENTS Hogan on how good a job he’s doing tonight and says he’s finally over the loss at Wrestlemania I. It eats Orndorff up though, because every day someone tells him about it. How does that make him feel? Gene: “Horrible!” Violence is teased and here’s Mr. T. to even the odds. Pat Patterson, in a referee shirt for the sake of continuity, comes in to say it was thirty years ago. The four of them actually bury the hatchet, though Piper nearly retches as he shake’s Mr. T.’s hand.

Bruno Sammartino, Harley Race, Bob Backlund, Dusty Rhodes and Bret Hart (easily the biggest reaction) are in the front row.

No recap for the main event so we’ll improvise. Orton is the Authority’s hand picked face of the company and was handed the World Title by HHH. Batista won the Royal Rumble to get here. Bryan is in due to winning earlier (in case you decided to skip the opener for some odd reason).

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton is defending and is played to the ring by Rev Theory. Bryan still has a horrible arm coming in. Batista tries a Batista Bomb but Bryan hurricanranas him outside in short order. A crank to the arm brings Bryan down though and it’s Batista coming back in for some shoulders to Orton’s ribs. All three head outside with Orton going back first into the apron. It’s already time to go to the announcers’ table but first, Bryan gets knocked down again.

Orton suplexes Batista onto the barricade but it’s Bryan back up with YES Kicks to both of them. The big kick takes out Batista, only to have Orton suplex Bryan onto the bad shoulder for two. Somehow Bryan comes back with the running corner dropkicks to both guys, followed by a top rope hurricanrana to Orton. The fans are back to life, only to have Orton send Bryan outside.

A superplex drops Batista but Bryan is right there with the Swan Dive. Bryan grabs the YES Lock on Orton but here are HHH and Stephanie for the save. The referee gets taken out as well so here’s crooked referee Scott Armstrong to take over. The Batista Bomb gets two on Bryan but a spear only hits post. Bryan has finally had enough of this and kicks Armstrong in the head, followed by a suicide dive to take out Stephanie and HHH.

That’s enough for HHH who grabs the sledgehammer, only to have Bryan take it away and blast him instead. A livid Orton is back in though and sends Bryan into the barricade as Batista comes over to help with the stomping. The tape is pulled off of Bryan’s arm and Orton drills it with the steps.

They load up two announcers’ tables and, after hitting Bryan in the head with a monitor (and some CM PUNK chants, back when they might actually mean something), it’s a Batista Bomb into an RKO (jumping reverse neckbreaker in this case) with Orton’s back landing square on a monitor. I was terrified that he had a major injury but thankfully he gets up pretty quickly. Medics come down to check on Bryan as Lawler makes a good point: why isn’t Batista throwing one of them in the ring and PINNING THEM?

Instead Batista sends Orton into various non-ring things before taking him back inside….for a backdrop to the floor. The hanging DDT off the apron plants Batista as Bryan is being wheeled out. Not so fast though as he fights his way off the stretcher, only to be sent into the steps by Orton. The RKO is countered into a YES Lock but Batista is there fore another save. That just earns Batista a YES Lock of his own with Orton making the save this time. A spear cuts Bryan down and the RKO gets two on Batista in a great false finish.

Orton loads up the Punt but Bryan cuts him off with the running knee. Batista throws Bryan outside and gets two on Orton. There’s the Batista Bomb to Orton but Bryan comes back in with the running knee to Batista. The YES Lock goes on and Batista taps (that’s important because Bryan had showed he could beat Orton before) to FINALLY make Bryan champion at 23:21. Cole: “A MIRACLE ON BOURBON STREET!” I mean, the Superdome isn’t on Bourbon Street but that’s an awesome call.

Rating: B. The wrestling wasn’t the point here (duh) but what was important was nailing the ending, which is exactly what they did here. This match made Bryan look like the giant killer and that’s exactly the point of what was going on here. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions as Bryan fought through everything and won the title that was rightfully his to begin with. It may not be a classic, but the ending was all you could ask for and more.

Bryan celebrates for a LONG time, including the iconic shot with both belts on the announcers’ table, as confetti (of which I have a piece) falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There are some weak spots in there (Undertaker vs. Lesnar stands out like Undertaker’s sore head) but the stuff they nailed, they REALLY nailed. Above all else this is the Daniel Bryan show and with a classic to start and the perfect ending, it’s hard to complain about much. This show felt like it was a spectacle and that’s where WWE shines. Yeah there were some weaker matches, but there was also a twenty five minute segment with Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and the Rock acting like the biggest stars of all time. I had the time of my life watching this show live and it more than holds up. Outstanding stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Usos vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Real Americans

Original: B

2015 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Daniel Bryan vs. HHH

Original: A

2015 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

Shield vs. New Age Outlaws/Kane

Original: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: N/A

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Original: B

2015 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: D

Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational

Original: D+

2015 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Batista

Original: A-

2015 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2015 Redo: A-

2018 Redo: A-

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/07/wrestlemania-xxx-oh-yeah-i-went-there/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/28/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxx-2015-redo-yes/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Wrestlemania XXX
Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Both Real Americans are sent to the floor with Ryback and the Usos being thrown on top of them so Los Matadores can dive on everyone. Torito gets on the top but Axel grabs him from behind and throws him inside. Axel goes up but Los Matadores catch him in a double electric chair, allowing Torito to cross body him down onto the big pile for a crash. Back in and Swagger throws Diego off the top and puts on the Patriot Lock for the submission elimination.

Post match Swagger and Cesaro go at it with Jack putting on the Patriot Lock as Colter loses his mind. They break it up but Cesaro Swings him to blow the roof off the place again.

Stephanie, showing so much leg that Stacy Keibler would tell her to tone it down, introduces HHH. Naturally HHH has a golden throne with three good looking women (played by NXT girls Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss) to take off his mask and armor. To be fair, this is pretty cool.

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

HHH bails to the floor but Bryan gets up for two straight Flying Goats, followed by a series of kicks to the chest as they hit another gear. The missile dropkick puts HHH down but Daniel lands on his shoulder. He nips up though and the fans are right back into it. JBL is starting to panic as well as Bryan busts out the YES Kicks. The big one knocks HHH down but he kicks out at two. This is reaching epic.

New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Cesaro celebrates with his chest high trophy.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray goes out and rips the top off the Spanish table. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary and tells him to go after the French table in a funny moment. Instead Bray gets a chair and kicks it over to Cena before kneeling in the middle of the ring. He tells Cena to finish this but Cena blasts Rowan instead, setting up Sister Abigail. The kiss is too much though and the second AA is enough to pin Bray.

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

Wrestlemania XXXI ad.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

AJ Lee, Naomi, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Cameron, Emma, Eva Marie, Layla, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, Tamina Snuka

Bruno Sammartino, Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Bob Backlund and Bret Hart (by far the loudest reaction) are at ringside.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Rev Theory (remember them?) play Orton to the ring. Orton is defending of course and Batista won the Royal Rumble to get here. Bryan can barely move that left shoulder and has to do a one armed YES point. After the big match intros, Bryan hits a quick running dropkick to the champion followed by the YES Kicks. Orton calmly goes to the arm and stomps away but Batista takes Randy down.

Batista comes back with a suplex to send Bryan outside but he goes up top for no logical reason other than to allow Orton to superplex him back down. Daniel adds a Swan Dive and puts Orton in the YES Lock but here are HHH and Stephanie to pull out the referee. Crooked referee Scott Armstrong comes in to count two off the Batista Bomb on Bryan. Bryan sends a charging Batista into the post and kicks Armstrong in the head before hitting a FLYING GOAT onto the Authority, including Stephanie. Just fire him right now. Plant a tie on him or something.

Orton immediately sends Bryan into the steps before throwing him back inside. Again he won’t cover though, allowing Batista to come back in and take the champ down. There’s the YES Lock to Batista but Orton is right back up for the save. Daniel is knocked to the floor by Batista’s spear and the RKO gets a VERY close two on Dave to get the fans back into it.

Another RKO is loaded up but Bryan comes back in with the running knee. Batista throws Bryan down but Orton kicks out at two. Another Batista Bomb puts Orton down but Bryan comes back in with the running knee and the YES Lock FINALLY makes Bryan champion, sending New Orleans into a frenzy. Cole dubs it the Miracle on Bourbon Street in a call I really like.

Rating: B. This needed to be five minutes shorter but my goodness they cranked up the emotions here. There was no other possible ending to this though and the fans ate up every single bit of it. The near falls on the finishers were great and I was totally buying into them as potential endings. Not a great match but exactly the way the show should have ended.

Confetti falls (and I got a piece which I still have) and a huge celebration finally ends the show.

Ratings Comparison

Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Original: B

Redo: B

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A

Redo: A

Shield vs. Kane/New Age Outlaws

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

Original: B

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

Original: D+

Redo: D

Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton

Original: A-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A-

The main event was too high but the show is still an instant classic.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/07/wrestlemania-xxx-oh-yeah-i-went-there/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

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