Survivor Series Count-Up – 2008: Down Goes Canada

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

Shawn and JBL are feuding over Shawn being broke and needing money form JBL, Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard and JTG, two thug characters) are feuding with Miz and Morrison, Kane has been hunting Mysterio and Khali and MVP (in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and the US Title) are there to fill out the lineups. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Smackdown: Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object, ending any drug speculation.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away slowly.

Batista immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vladimir sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2006: The Dark Days

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the 20th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Lita is defending and slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far. The fans think Lita is a crack w****. Their words, not mine.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Team DX: Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk

Team Rated-RKO: Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy beats up Undertaker post match but Undertaker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Undertaker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam

Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga

The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T

Ratings Comparison

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Lita

Original: B

Redo: D

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Original: B

Redo: C-

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: C

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Batista vs. Booker T

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D-

WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2006-who-thought-batista-vs-booker-was-a-good-idea/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




What If Rock Never Went Hollywood?

So a few months ago, I did a few columns where I answered a bunch of questions every week.  It turns out that writing a ten page column in addition to everything else I did was a little insane and I dropped the whole thing.  However, I can always find the time to answer a question or two so I might as well take a shot at it.  This is going to be COMPLETELY informal and I have no idea how often I’ll do it, but if someone asks me a question over on Steel Cage Forums (steelcageforums.com.  Check it out if you haven’t yet as it’s quite good.) or in the comments here that isn’t something that can be answered in a sentence or less, I might do something like this.  So here’s one from the forum:

For the sake of simplicity, we’ll assume Rock stays on Smackdown, where he was when he left.

Oh dear this is a big one. In short, yes we would have but at the same time, things would have been a little different. For the sake of sanity, we’ll assume that most things didn’t change for the most part, as it’s almost impossible to guess how things go otherwise. Therefore, the Brand Split would have kept Orton and Batista over on Raw, where they could grow into superstars on their own.

That leaves Cena, who is easily the most interesting case out of everyone here. I’m a pretty strong believe in the concept of the talent rising to the top and Cena would have found something in there eventually. Rock would have been the top star on one of the shows, but Cena was going to sneak in there eventually and become the next big thing in wrestling, but there would have been a delay.

When Cena and Batista won their first World Titles at Wrestlemania XXI, Batista was the bigger star. He might not have had the same longevity, but he was the bigger deal at the time. Assuming he rises to the top of Raw in the same way, that leaves Cena to….I’m not really sure. You can almost guarantee that there’s no JBL title run because no one is buying JBL laying a finger on Rock. As long as Rock doesn’t mock Cena’s rapping and eviscerate him on the mic, Cena could have risen up and become the new anti-authority character, but it would have taken longer.

The other thing to remember about Rock is the same problem that would happen to anyone: eventually he would have cooled off. Rock was a six time WWF Champion by the time he was 29. With Austin gone and HHH boring the life out of everyone, there was no one in Rock’s universe and that can only last so long. It happened to Hogan, it happened to Austin, and it would have happened to Rock too.

At some point he would need someone fresh to face and maybe that’s Cena. I’m not sure how well a passing of the torch match would have gone (because they almost never work) but Rock would have had to do something. You can only dominate people for so long before you start losing momentum. Maybe Batista becomes a rival for Rock later on and one of them moves, leaving Cena to stay off on his own. There are a million ways to go, but Rock would have needed someone fresh to face and that’s really hard to do when Rock was that much ahead of everyone else.

So yeah, the talent would have risen to the top, but Cena would have taken a little longer because it took him a lot longer to become the top star. It would have happened though.




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004: Dig That False Hope

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

We open with a video about the seventeen years this show has run already.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Big Show

Maven (the first Tough Enough winner and on Team Orton tonight in the biggest match of his career) offers to demonstrate his skills to Coach but Snitsky jumps Maven and busts him open. This would be how they would keep Maven out of a PPV main event for most of the match when they realized that he was in WAY over his head.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Heidenreich comes out in a straightjacket because he might attack more plants, as had been his custom in recent weeks. Undertaker does the big long entrance to get the crowd back into things. He stares at Heidenreich for a few moments before the beating begins. A charge in the corner runs into a Heidenreich elbow but the Dead Man will have none of this being on defense stuff. Undertaker works on the arm but a Heyman distraction lets Heidenreich crotch Undertaker to break up Old School. He crotches Undertaker against the post again and we head to the floor.

The chokeslam is broken up and Heidenreich gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Then like an idiot, Heidenreich punches away in the corner while Undertaker arms are down. The obvious Last Ride only gets two though as Heidenreich grabs the rope. Heidenreich tries a sleeper but Undertaker is like boy please and suplexes out of it almost immediately. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish this quick.

Bischoff says Maven is out of the main event and if he allows Orton to add a replacement, HHH will complain and Eric will lose his vacation, which is the point of the main event.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Batista and HHH are ready for the main event.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Guerrero vs. Team Angle

Original: D

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D

Redo: D

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Original: F

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

Original: B-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

In a rare instance, I liked this a lot better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/13/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2004-eyebrows-huffman-main-events/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Smackdown – June 3, 2004: Stop Pointing Out The Problem

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 3, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re less than a month away from Great American Bash and the show continues to look weaker and weaker every single night. The big story tonight seems to be Paul Heyman and the Dudley Boyz kidnapping Paul Bearer in their continued attempt to make an impact. Other than that, JBL gets to pick his stipulation for the pay per view. Reminder: your big villains are JBL and the Dudley Boyz. I think you know why this show is in trouble. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a video on James Dudley, who passed away at 94. Dudley was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 1994 and is probably best known as being a guy who was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 1994 and waving a towel during Bobo Brazil’s entrances.

We look back at last week with Heyman trying to fire up the Dudley Boyz, leading to them attacking Bearer.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Booker T. to open things up. He wants to make this clear: he had NOTHING to do with the abduction of Paul Bearer last week and nothing is going to stop him from taking care of the Undertaker tonight. He even has an idea who had Bearer attacked last week: the Undertaker! Booker thinks Undertaker had the Dudleys attack Bearer so he could have an excuse to skip out on the match with Booker tonight. He loads up the catchphrase but here’s John Cena to interrupt.

Cena isn’t happy with Booker almost costing him the US Title last week and they’re settling this right now. Apparently that was just business and Booker is just here to beat up Undertaker tonight. Booker doesn’t think much of Cena with the catchphrases and the hand signs because it’s clear that Cena is a Booker wannabe. Cena does his own impression of Booker, including the hand shaking (Cena: “Is it cold in here???”) and the weird face, which apparently has to do with Booker having an, ahem, accident.

This joke goes on WAY too long until Booker wants to be told that Cena didn’t say that. Kurt Angle comes out to say Cena has no respect and no class. It’s ok if he wants to insult Booker, but the main event is NOT being interrupted. Angle throws him out so Cena calls Luther Reigns lumpy. Booker jumps him from behind so the fight is on with Cena being thrown into Angle, who is still in the wheelchair. To make it even worse, Booker chairs Angle in the leg by mistake. Angle gets a mic and threatens to have Cena stripped of the title. Booker vs. Cena is only going to do Cena good at the moment, and maybe Booker will care.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Danny Basham

Non-title. Eddie grabs a headlock to start as the announcers try to tell us that Danny is one of the young, up and coming stars around here. A dropkick has Danny in trouble but he backdrops Eddie to the floor so Doug can get in a cheap shot. Ever the liar, Eddie fakes a chair shot from Doug and gets him ejected so it can be down to one on one. Danny is fine enough for a spinning belly to back for two and it’s off to a cravate.

Back up and some right hands to Eddie’s head just get on his nerves so he headscissors Danny down. The third Amigo is broken up and the ref gets bumped so Danny grabs the belt. That earns him a low blow and a belt shot to the head as Eddie lays down. Uh, since the referee didn’t see anything, why didn’t Eddie just hit the frog splash for the pin immediately? The splash hits and Danny is done a few seconds later.

Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t anything to see here but I do love seeing the top stars wrestle a match with someone that much lower than them. Danny got in a little offense here and it was a nice chance for him to showcase himself. Eddie wins a match that made him sweat a bit and Danny loses a match he had no business winning. Everything is fine.

Summerslam is coming to Toronto.

Here’s Mordecai for a prayer. He prays for the sinners and all of their families, who are no better than harlots who sell themselves on the city streets. The father has forgiven them but Mordecai will punish every one of them. Fire come out of the posts, which doesn’t go anywhere near as high as Kane’s. And we move on.

Miss Jackie shows off her other bikini (the one she didn’t show last week) to Rico and Charlie Haas. They’re impressed.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Classic vs. Funaki

Funaki is challenging and Chavo Jr. is on commentary to praise his dad. Some armdrags have the champ in trouble but a gutwrench suplex puts Funaki down. Chavo grabs the rope to avoid a dropkick but gets kicked in the head anyway. A shoulder to the ribs keeps Classic in trouble so Jr. shoves Funaki off the top to give his dad the pin. Same as last week and that’s fine.

Post match some women jump the barricade and mob Classic.

Post break Chavo Classic says he’s a sex symbol and that these women want some love from south of the border. Jr. leaves and Classic pays them off for their performances.

It’s time for the swimsuit contest with a bunch of beach themed stuff in the ring and Jamie Noble as host. We have Torrie Wilson, Miss Jackie, Dawn Marie and Sable, the latter of whom is making her big return. They all have twenty seconds to dance with one of the items and the fans get to pick the winner. Jamie tells Torrie to go first and she has to dance with the sandbox. She drops some sand over herself and Tazz almost loses his mind. Next up is Dawn with a beach chair, with Jamie having a seat.

Jamie rather approves of the half cousin of a lap dance and it’s Sable with a beach towel next. Sable wraps it around herself and reveals a one piece without doing much else. Finally we have Jackie with a bucket of water. She pours the water over herself and wins, though Torrie’s cheering sounded louder. Her reward is getting to kiss Jamie but he gets covered with water instead. Jamie is furious because his tuxedo is a rental. And yes, that’s the only payoff to the whole thing, though I’m shocked Rico didn’t come out in a thong or something.

We look at Heyman and the Dudleys from last week again.

Kenzo Suzuki is here next week.

Rene Dupree vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey goes after the knee to start and hammers away in the corner as Rene can’t keep up with him. A clothesline cuts Rey off and Rene drops a knee but the leg is hurting him. It’s hurting so badly that Mysterio is able to break up a superplex and hit a top rope seated senton. The 619 is broken up with the good knee to the ribs and there’s the French Tickler. Dupree’s powerbomb is loaded up but Rey reverses into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Well so much for Dupree, who goes from main eventing the show in a title match last week to losing clean in about three minutes here. That’s not the best idea in the world when this show is dying for heels. I know Dupree isn’t the best in the world, but he’s something fresh and the effort has already been put in. But then again, it’s not like the rest of the show has done anything logical lately anyway.

Raw Rebound.

We recap the opening segment.

Here’s JBL, carrying a bullrope, to pick the stipulation for the match with Eddie at the Great American Bash. It’s a Texas Bullrope match, and somehow this announcement takes nearly seven minutes because JBL is that slow and dull, along with saying the same things about Eddie that he’s said for a month and a half.

We see the Dudleys kidnapping Bearer for the third time tonight.

Undertaker vs. Booker T.

Booker is smart enough to jump Undertaker as he takes four days to remove his gear. Now why does no one else get that? Undertaker throws him into the corner and starts slugging away, followed by the running elbow drop for two. Old School is broken up (I’m not sure if it was the cranking on the arm or Undertaker going to the corner) but Undertaker kicks him in the face for two instead.

The armbarring continues with Undertaker lifting him up by the arm for the real cranking. Old School is broken up again and Cole actually gets the story correct by saying Undertaker might be off without Bearer. Back from a break with Booker hitting a missile dropkick for two and then kicking him in the face again. The chinlock goes on and the side kick takes Undertaker down for a delayed two.

Undertaker is able to reverse a suplex into one of his own and the comeback is on. Booker slips out of the Last Ride but can’t do the same on the chokeslam. It’s Tombstone time but cue Paul Heyman to say Undertaker needs to worry about what could be happening to Bearer. The match ends here in a no contest and Booker isn’t seen again for the rest of the show.

Rating: C. A little slow (as you probably guessed) but Booker got in some offense and the ending wasn’t definitive with Booker still having the chance to survive. That’s a good sign considering what appears to be an interesting feud with Cena. It’s nice to see Booker actually doing something worthwhile for once and the match was better than the pay per view version.

Undertaker grabs him by the throat, only to have the Dudleys pop up on screen. Bearer is in a room behind them and if Undertaker doesn’t want Bearer to suffer, he better listen to Heyman. Undertaker lets go and Heyman says Undertaker can either join himself and the Dudleys, or Bearer gets it. He has a week to decide.

Overall Rating: D+. That’s a big upgrade for this show as while not great, it was nowhere near as bad as some of their previous efforts. There’s still no way around JBL and the Dudleys as the top heels, but at least they featured some other people a lot more this week. While that’s good, this show did reinforce one of the biggest problems with Smackdown: Booker T. isn’t the featured heel. I’m not saying Booker is the be all and end all star or anything close to it, but he’s much better than JBL at the moment. Anyway I’ll cut myself off there and continue hoping that Undertaker vs. the Dudleys is at least short.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2003: The Last Ride

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another big one and it’s also a one sided show. The Smackdown offerings are about as uninteresting as they could be while the Raw side looks at at least marginally better. This isn’t a great show on paper and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to be even worse as it actually takes place. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home episode of Smackdown if you need a recap.

The opening video talks about surviving things such as the game, evolution, and the battles in between. That’s all this needed to be, especially with Austin vs. Bischoff being the real main event.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, Chris Benoit, John Cena, Bradshaw

Brock Lesnar, Big Show, A-Train, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan

Cena is out first and raps about burying everyone, meaning Lesnar and Show need a bigger graves. He’s still new at this team thing because he wonders if he can trade his partners in for a one night stand with Sable. Holly wastes no time and attacks Lesnar before the bell, sending him into the steps and trying a full nelson to break his neck. He also shoves a referee, and gets disqualified before the match even starts.

The bell rings and a Clothesline from Bradshaw ends A-Train in less than thirty seconds to tie it up. The chokeslam gets rid of Bradshaw as we’re not even a minute in yet. Good idea actually, as it’s not like Bradshaw and Holly were anything more than warm bodies anyway. Cena comes in but can’t FU Big Show and gets thrown into the corner as the four remaining members start working him over. A Throwback to Lesnar gets two but more importantly it allows the hot tag off to Benoit.

The chokeslam is countered into a Crossface (always looks cool) with Lesnar making a save. It’s off to an abdominal stretch as things slow down again. The standing legdrop gets two on Benoit and it’s time for some double teaming on the floor. Angle and Cena have finally had enough and go over to make a save but Benoit is beaten down even more. Morgan comes in for some lumbering offense but a suplex allows the hot tag to Angle. That means a series of suplexes as everything breaks down. The Angle Slam eliminates Morgan to tie us up at three.

Show clotheslines Jones by mistake though and an ankle lock gets rid of Nathan less than thirty seconds later. An F5 gets rid of Angle with the first count coming as Jones’ elimination is still being announced. We’re down to Benoit/Cena vs. Lesnar/Show and Brock goes shoulder first into the post.

A Crossface has Lesnar in trouble but he reverses into a cradle for two. Benoit won’t be denied though and slaps it on again, this time with Lesnar’s feet reaching the ropes. The third attempt makes Lesnar tap and we’re down to two on one. Benoit drops Show with a top rope shoulder for two so Cena adds a chain shot and the FU for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was too fast for the most part but the real problem comes from the fact that so many people were involved in the first place. This really could have been a six man elimination tag (A-Train as the third villain) and it would have been better, but that’s not how these things traditionally work. Cena and Benoit winning in the end is the right way to go as Cena’s rocket push is being assembled, but at the same time there’s a lot of work left to do. Benoit vs. Cena, which could still happen, would be a benefit for both guys and that’s a good sign for the future. Unfortunately it wasn’t the best present, but at least it wasn’t long.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shane and talks about how tonight, father and son are facing two brothers. He thinks it’s almost spiritual and asks Shane how he feels about that. Shane only feels sorry for Vince. The boss leaves and runs into Austin, who starts laughing. Then he stops and gets serious before walking away. These two have great chemistry even if it doesn’t make the most sense.

JR explains the exchange.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is challenging after winning a #1 contenders match a few weeks back. Feeling out process to start as JR explains that these two have some contrasting styles. Lita gets knocked to the floor so Molly starts in on the back with some ax handles. We hit a dragon sleeper with Jerry liking her intensity. The handspring elbow in the corner keeps Lita in trouble and Molly stomps away.

A running corner clothesline rocks Molly and Lita rains down some right hands for her first real offense. Molly cuts her off with a side slam but Lawler would rather talk about Lita’s thong. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Lita a breather but the moonsault misses. The Molly Go Round gets two so Molly rips off a turnbuckle pad and sends Lita face first to retain.

Rating: D+. This was mainly Molly doing everything while Lita did a thing or two here and there. That’s not the most thrilling style in the world but Molly can be made into a good champion for a big name to take the title from later. Let her be built up for awhile instead of giving Lita the title immediately. It’s ok to wait now and then.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane went nuts after losing his mask and after struggling to defeat Rob Van Dam, started tormenting Linda McMahon. Shane became the big star out of this because of course he did, including beating himself in a Last Man Standing match. Various attempted murders later set up this ambulance match, which is possibly the second most pushed match on the show.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Ambulance match with Shane charging straight at him for a crossbody to the floor. Shane knocks him onto the announcers’ table and hits him in the head with a monitor, setting up the big elbow to drive Kane through. That’s enough at ringside though so they head to the back, including the camera cutting out. That means we hit the pretape and come back with Shane pounding him down with a kendo stick.

Shane puts him in a security shack and jumps into an SUV to run Kane over again. Finding a well placed walkie-talkie, Shane tells someone to SEND IT, which means it’s time for an ambulance backstage. But is that the designated ambulance? That makes a difference you know. Instead of backing the ambulance up to the shack where Kane is down, Shane grabs a stretcher and wheels it twenty feet over, allowing Kane to grab him by the throat and slam Shane into a wall.

The camera goes out again and we pick it up with Kane knocking him back into the arena. Shane gets knocked into the front of the ambulance but manages to hit Kane in the face with the back door. What a sick sounding thud too. Kane is back up and sends Shane into the ambulance but another ram with the door gets Shane out of trouble. A tornado DDT on the floor plants Kane as they’re now near the grave for the Buried Alive match.

Shane puts a trashcan (good thing one was nearby) and a crashpad (same as before) and hits the Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to smash Kane’s face. That’s still not enough to wrap things up as Kane pulls Shane into the ambulance with him for more brawling. It’s Kane throwing Shane out though and then ramming him back first into the side. He javelins Shane’s head into the other side (you have to match you see) and a Tombstone on the floor is enough for the win.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as I was expecting but again, this doesn’t really do what they were likely shooting for with Kane. It makes two straight matches where Kane has had trouble beating up Shane McMahon. He can destroy Rob Van Dam but Shane gives him trouble? It didn’t work last time and it doesn’t work here. Now that he’s lost all of his heat though, you can pencil him in for a World Title match.

Brock Lesnar says he didn’t lose that match because his team lost it instead. Goldberg comes in for a staredown but Lesnar won’t wish him luck tonight. And so it begins.

Here’s the Coach, in a neck brace, for a chat. He assures his fans that he’s fine after the 3D from the Dudleys on Monday and he’ll be good to go soon. That seems to be it but hang on a second as Coach sees Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban in the front row. Cuban is ready to see Austin’s team win and insults referees of all kinds (he’s known for heavy criticisms of NBA referees). This brings out Eric Bischoff to invite Cuban into the ring, where a fight breaks out. Bischoff gets shoved down but here’s Randy Orton for an RKO to complete this waste of time.

Evolution is having a party with HHH in the middle of a good looking bunch of women. Ric Flair comes in to say they can have the champ later, which annoys HHH. Orton comes in, hits on the women, and brags about what he just did. Uh, congratulations?

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are defending after Eddie won a handicap match to earn the shot. Eddie and Chavo waste no time in slugging away until Shaniqua offers a distraction to slow things down. That doesn’t seem to matter much to the cousins as Eddie works over Danny to start things off. A dropkick gives Chavo two and there’s a headscissors/armdrag combination from Eddie to put both champs down.

Some double teaming (described by Cole as “classic Bashams”) takes over though and Shaniqua gets in a slam on Eddie for good measure. Back in and Eddie gets stomped in the corner, followed by a double vertical suplex for two. Eddie gets free with a headscissors and hands it back to Chavo, who is double flapjacked in short order. Chavo fights up but Twin Magic takes him down again. Everything breaks down and Chavo slams Shaniqua, followed by a quick spanking. That’s NOT cool with the champs so Doug grabs a rollup with Chavo’s tights to retain.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here with Los Guerreros coming up short again as we get closer to their inevitable split. The Bashams aren’t a great team (though they have apparently have a classic period) but they’re serviceable for something like this. Get rid of the dominatrix stuff though as it’s not working, isn’t funny and makes Shaniqua look like the important part of the team, which misses the point entirely.

Replays show Chavo kicking Eddie down by mistake, meaning this is far from over.

JR doesn’t think Austin can handle this trusting people stuff and has never seen Austin this angry.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They’re running the show together but Austin isn’t allowed to attack people at will anymore. On top of that, a lot of people are accusing him of ruining the show through his various antics. That doesn’t sit well with Austin, so it’s time for a winner take all match with the winner getting to run Raw on their own. The idea is Austin has to trust people, which goes against everything he believes in.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Dudley Boyz, Booker T., Rob Van Dam

Bischoff: Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, Christian, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton

Coach, Stacy Keibler and the two team captains are at ringside. The fans want tables to start but have to settle with D-Von and Christian instead. D-Von shoulders him down to start but gets slapped in the face, triggering a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s not a nice response. Van Dam comes in for some forearms to the face and a kick to the jaw gets the same. It’s off to Jericho for some more luck, followed by Steiner whipping Van Dam hard into the corner to set up some posing.

Van Dam’s comeback is cut off by a belly to belly superplex but he’s able to get over to Booker for the hot tag. Things speed way up in a hurry and the scissors kick into the Spinarooni makes Bischoff face palm. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Steiner hits Booker low. The Recliner goes on but Stacy offers a distraction, setting up a reverse 3D. A Bookend is enough to get rid of Steiner and make it 5-4.

The World’s Strongest Slam gets rid of Booker a few seconds later to tie it right back up. Bubba comes in to try his luck and is sent hard into the corner. D-Von’s help doesn’t make things much better as the Dudleys are rammed together. Mark misses a charge though and it’s a 3D into the Five Star for the elimination. It’s off to Orton for a hard clothesline on Van Dam but Rob scores with a kick. Another Five Star is loaded up but Jericho makes a save, setting up the RKO to tie things up at three each. Jericho comes in and missile dropkicks D-Von down as JR and King wonder how things will go tomorrow night.

D-Von shoulders Jericho down for no count as Christian has the referee, setting up the sleeper drop for another elimination. This match is already better paced than the opener and here’s Shawn to pick things up all over again. Shawn pounds on Jericho in the corner and catches an invading Christian without much effort. Orton gets in a dropkick but stays down anyway as I guess he didn’t hit all of it. A double tag brings in Christian and Bubba with a backdrop getting two on the Canadian.

Jericho runs Christian over by mistake but a low blow sets up the Unprettier to get rid of Bubba. We’re down to Shawn vs. Christian/Jericho/Orton and Austin is starting to see how much trouble he’s in. Shawn punches away at Christian to start but some good old fashioned double teaming has Shawn in trouble again. Like there’s any other way this should go. Shawn is taken outside and catapulted into the post (you can see him blade on the wide shot) to bust open a GUSHER.

That and a suplex are only good for two back inside and Christian even steals his pose. Jerry: “That was a creepy little pose right there.” The Unprettier is broken up and a quick Sweet Chin Music gets rid of Christian. A frustrated Jericho comes in and gets two off a clothesline before handing it back to Orton. Shawn gets in a belly to back suplex but Jericho comes back in to take over again. As usual, JR is perfect at calling this kind of a story and Shawn getting two off a DDT has Jerry trying as hard as he can to believe in Shawn.

The Lionsault hits knees and Shawn pulls himself up but gets pulled into a Walls attempt. That’s reversed into a quick small package to get rid of Jericho and make it one on one (Lawler: “I BELIEVE I BELIEVE!”). Jericho isn’t gone yet though and caves Shawn’s head in with a chair shot. Why that isn’t a DQ on Orton isn’t clear but Shawn is done as Orton comes back in.

That’s only good for two and you can see the sigh of relief from Austin. Orton’s high crossbody hits the referee and here’s Bischoff to break up Sweet Chin Music. That’s too much for Austin so it’s a Stunner to Orton but he makes the mistake of beating on Bischoff a bit too much. They go up the aisle and here’s Batista to powerbomb Shawn, giving Orton the final pin.

Rating: B+. I love this match and always have. It doesn’t really pick up until Shawn is on his own but that’s what he’s done best throughout his entire career. He knows how to play the underdog better than anyone I’ve ever seen and you really can get behind the Lawler mindset of trying to believe here. As usual, Shawn is great in this role and it’s never too far to believe that he could pull this off (quick superkick, small package for two eliminations). Great stuff, but you might want to skip the first few minutes.

Austin is stunned at the loss because he placed his career in someone else’s hands and was let down. The bloody Shawn can barely stand and Austin congratulates him for giving it everything he had. Austin grabs the mic and talks about starting here in Dallas and going out here as well. Coach comes out to laugh and gets beaten up one more time with security getting the same treatment. Beer is consumed as a final goodbye. You know, assuming you believe that he’s gone for good this time.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker wants the title one more time but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy. Therefore Undertaker wanted a Buried Alive match here, because that’s where you go from here. Vince then went into this weird spiritual thing, which really didn’t work or accomplish much.

Tazz’s key for Vince’s victory: AVOID THE HOLE! Good advice.

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Buried Alive and Vince drops to a knee in prayer before the match. Undertaker punches him down to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Vince is already bleeding less than thirty seconds in as this is going to be one sided for a long time. The beating continues until Undertaker crotches him on the post to switch things up a bit. More low blows keep Vince in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor with Undertaker choking with a cord. Completely one sided so far, as you probably guessed.

Cole and Tazz try to explain the idea of Vince being punished for his sins, which I’m guessing are mainly about Stephanie. I mean, almost everything else is. Vince is thrown over the announcers’ table and it’s time to go to the grave. Well just Undertaker at this point and he comes back with a shovel. One heck of a shot to the head rocks Vince again and Cole declares it over. So much for Undertaker’s hot streak.

Vince’s ankle gets crushed by the steps and NOW it’s time to head to the grave. Vince finally throws some dirt in the eyes (his first “offense”) and a low blow keeps Undertaker in trouble. A shovel to the head puts Undertaker in the grave….for a few seconds. He pulls Vince in and goes to the front loader to drop the dirt but gets cut off by lightning. Cue Kane to beat up Undertaker and bury him (again) to give Vince the win.

Rating: D-. So yeah LOLVINCEWINS because of course he does. There was nothing to see here unless you like Undertaker destroying people and then having a surprise ending. The announcers treated this like Undertaker’s last match, because if there’s one thing Undertaker is known for, it’s going away for good. It’s more of a match than an angle, and there’s no way that’s how Undertaker is going out. Bad match but moderately entertaining beatdown.

Cole and Tazz are SHOCKED.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Goldberg won the title last month so HHH put a $100,000 bounty on his head. Batista returned and collected by breaking Goldberg’s ankle so tonight it’s about revenge and the title. There’s not much of a reason for this to main event but would you expect much else? Well save for Vince maybe?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is defending and is coming in with a bad ankle. HHH is looking as out of shape as I’ve seen him in years, probably due to his bad groin injury. Hang on a second though as Goldberg has to quickly dispatch Flair to make it a little more fair. They head outside in short order with Goldberg hammering away but the ankle gives out on a gorilla press attempt.

A chop block takes Goldberg down and we hit the meat of the match. Flair is back up as HHH sends Goldberg outside, meaning a distraction sets up a chair to Goldberg’s ankle. There’s another chop block back inside and the slow leg work continues with Flair getting in a few shots of his own. A knee drop keeps the ankle in trouble and we hit a half crab. At least he knows his low level submissions.

Goldberg grabs the rope and fires off some right hands to little avail. A limping clothesline works a bit better as Flair is beside himself. HHH takes him down again and calls for a Figure Four, only to be kicked into the referee. That means brass knuckles for a very near fall and HHH beats up the referee again. The sledgehammer is brought down but Goldberg kicks him down with the bad ankle.

Flair’s latest attempt at interfering gets him slammed off the top (JR: “It hasn’t worked in thirty years.”) and Goldberg grabs the hammer. A shot to the ribs drops Flair and an invading Batista and Orton are quickly dispatched as well. The Pedigree is blocked and Goldberg picks up the hammer again but throws it down. Instead it’s a spear and Jackhammer to retain the title like a real man.

Rating: D+. Well if you’re a fan of HHH working the ankle, have fun. Goldberg looks strong, but there have been so many other big matches tonight that this isn’t the strongest way to end things. I’ll give them points for giving Goldberg a push, but you’re crazy if you think HHH isn’t getting the title back within the next month. Just a messy brawl, but it could have been much worse. At least HHH didn’t need fifteen minutes of working the leg.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s some good and bad stuff on this show but the bad wins out in the end. Between the weak main event, not great opener and pretty terrible Vince vs. Undertaker match, there’s not enough to put with Shawn’s amazing performance. This was better than I was expecting though and that’s a nice relief. Both shows need something fresh on top and it actually seems to be happening on Smackdown. I’ll take one out of two, especially at this point in time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Smackdown – May 27, 2004: Consider Ted DiBiase

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 27, 2004
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in for another edition of the Eddie Guerrero Show this week and while that doesn’t sound like the worst concept in the world, it might be a little weaker when Eddie passed out to end last week’s show. In other words, expect more of JBL talking about how he should be champion and droning on for far too long. Oh and Booker T. looking bored out of his mind out there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eddie’s collapse last week.

Kurt Angle is in the back and says that Eddie Guerrero is allowed to be wrestle tonight, but EMT’s will be waiting for him to pass out again.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Dudley Boyz

Yes AGAIN. They really don’t have anything else they could be doing? Bubba shoves Rey down to start and seems annoyed at having to do so. Rey takes him down with a flying mare so Bubba tosses him into the other corner with ease. The armbar goes on so Rey climbs the ropes into a wristdrag to leave Bubba all confuzzled. Van Dam and D-Von come in, meaning it’s time for some kicks to the face and a standing moonsault. I’ll let you figure out who did what.

Rey comes back in with a springboard hurricanrana (which looked like it was supposed to be the seated senton but D-Von didn’t go down) but Bubba dives in and takes Rey’s knee out to break up the 619. The fans boo the heck out of that and here’s Paul Heyman through the crowd as we take a break. Back with Rey in trouble and Heyman sitting in the front row. Bubba misses a sitdown splash but it’s not bad enough for Rey to get over for the tag.

The Dudleys start taking turns on the leg but an enziguri gets Rey out of trouble. A springboard moonsault press drops D-Von so Bubba comes in for an elbow to keep Rey down. Since Van Dam isn’t into that whole helping your partner thing, Rey has to avoid a splash from D-Von and spinwheel kick Bubba to make the hot tag.

Van Dam starts in with the kicks and a top rope version gets two on D-Von. A Rolling Thunder/springboard legdrop combination gets the same with Bubba having to make a save. There’s the 619 to D-Von but Heyman jumps the barricade and breaks up the West Coast Pop. Bubba drops Rey onto the announcers’ table and D-Von steals the pin.

Rating: C. Long and watchable match here but I’m sick of seeing these teams fight. I’m not sure why the announcers acted like Heyman supporting the Dudleys was a big deal when he’s been doing that for weeks now but I don’t get a lot of what Smackdown does. I’m sure this makes Bubba and D-Von perfectly fine after all these losses, because fans want to see the Dudleys as major heels.

The Dudleys leave with Heyman.

Post break the Dudleys celebrate and let Heyman into their locker room. Heyman slaps D-Von and tries to do the same to Bubba but gets his arm grabbed. Why are they happy with just winning a match? Beating Eddie Guerrero didn’t get them a title shot or a pay per view main event. All they got was another win and that doesn’t get them anywhere. Tonight, they need to pick a victim and make an impact or he’ll have someone make an impact on them. Egads we’re really supposed to care about the Dudley Boys?

Cole brings out JBL for a chat. We look back at the chair shot at Judgment Day and Eddie collapsing later in the week so JBL could pin him. Cole mentions that some people don’t think that was very manly of JBL so we get the big tough guy voice to send Cole back to commentary. We hear the same JBL speech that he’s made for the last month and a half with shots at Eddie for not being a man. Last week Eddie was laying down so he didn’t have to take another beating.

What JBL is going to do to him next time will be nearly criminal but let’s stop to yell at the fans for chanting EDDIE. See, at Judgment Day, Eddie got disqualified because he knew he was beat. The beating will be even better at the Great American Bash because it’s JBL’s rules. This was way too long with JBL saying the same stuff he’s always said and droning on about how great he is. In other words: everything that has been wrong with him since this run started.

Compare him to Ted DiBiase for a minute. Above all else, DiBiase played it so much more over the top instead of serious. When JBL talks about having a stock portfolio and a business radio show, it feels too real. DiBiase never really explained where his money came from (and he certainly didn’t say it over and over week after week). He was just the rich guy who never ran out of money and did whatever he wanted because that’s what he did. You didn’t need an explanation of why he was who he is. The character spoke for itself and he did ridiculous things to show off his wealth (the laugh alone was a good chunk of it).

With JBL, it’s a guy who has money and brags about it, but he does it so boringly that it’s not something I care to see. It also doesn’t help that he spent all those years as a bar fighter and now he’s supposed to be something totally different. It’s not working and you can feel the energy go out of the room when he starts talking. I don’t really want to see him lose because I don’t like him. I want to see him lose so he’s not featured anymore. Those are two very different things and one of them isn’t good.

Booker T. vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Scotty sends him into the corner a few times to start but gets kicked in the face. Booker shrugs off a comeback attempt and finishes with the ax kick in a hurry.

Post match Booker says he wants another shot at the Undertaker next week. The lights go out and come back up blue, followed by lightning hitting the posts. Booker: “Alright. So you are a little scary.” Next week, he’ll shock the world.

Mordecai promises to make sinners pay for their sins. His crusade has just begun.

Danny Basham vs. Eddie Guerrero

Non-title with EMT’s on standby, until Eddie breaks the stretcher and sends them away because he doesn’t need that. The Bashams are cleared out but here’s Angle to say he’s legally responsible for everyone here. Eddie was going to fake another injury and then sue Smackdown, so he’s off until he signs a release saying Angle and Smackdown aren’t at fault. Danny tries a cheap shot and gets sent outside again. No match.

Torrie Wilson/Spike Dudley vs. Jamie Noble/Dawn Marie

I wonder if there will be any mention of Torrie sleeping with both of her opponents. Noble is in trunks for a change. The guys start things off with Spike working on the arm but Jamie sends him throat first into the ropes. A glare sends Torrie out to the floor so Spike headbutts Jamie in the ribs. It’s off to the women and the wolf whistles begin. Torrie dropkicks her down for two so Jamie gets in a knee to the back to cut her off.

An X Factor gives Dawn two and the chinlock goes on. Torrie’s jawbreaker allows the hot tag to Spike and a top rope double stomp gets two on Jamie. Everything breaks down and Jamie goes after Torrie, allowing Spike to hit the Dudley Dog on Jamie, dropping her onto Dawn for the pin.

Rating: D+. This….wasn’t horrible. Maybe it was limiting the women’s interactions or just a harder effort but that’s one of the better of these matches I’ve seen in a good while. The wrestling was passable as Jamie and Spike are usually good for at least a decent match and with Torrie and Dawn only in there for a few minutes, it wasn’t the worst in the world.

Kenzo Suzuki is still coming. Get here already so you can leave.

Rico and Charlie Haas preview Jackie Gayda’s bikini for next week’s contest, though we only see part of it. Charlie almost drools but Rico criticizes the look, telling her to go try on the other one. As she goes to change, Rico shows off his rather revealing gear of his own. Haas is disgusted….because it doesn’t compliment the complexion of his skin. Rico goes to try on his other one and Charlie tries to figure out what he’s doing.

John Cena comes in to see Angle, who isn’t happy about a meeting Cena had with the board of directors. The gist of the whole thing: the military can see the Great American Bash for free and Cena beat Angle to the idea. Angle yells at him for a bonus because he’s waited months for Cena to lose that title. He’ll even cheer for a Frenchman from ringside tonight.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. goes into Chavo Classic’s office but gets yelled at for not knocking. Classic wants Jr. to introduce him.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Classic vs. Akio

Akio is challenging and Jr. has to introduce his dad, who comes out in an old school robe. During Akio’s entrance, we see Mordecai destroying him last week. And you wonder why they’re relying on Jacqueline and Chavo Guerrero Sr. instead of their young stars. Classic takes him down and drives an elbow into the face but Akio speeds things up with a leg lariat.

His neck is too damages to follow up but he’s finally fine enough for a corkscrew moonsault. Jr. grabs the referee though, allowing Classic to kick out after a delayed two. Classic sends Akio outside and distracts the referee as well, allowing Chavo to hit a tornado DDT on the floor so Classic can retain the title.

Post match the Chavos argue over the belt a bit.

Raw Rebound.

The Dudleys kidnap someone named Paul and slam the trunk of a car on his ankle. We can’t see who it is but they throw him in the trunk and drive away. The Urn is left in the parking lot and Heyman picks it up. Cole: “The Dudleys kidnapped Paul Bearer!” Cole is really good at stating the obvious.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending in a lumberjack match with Angle watching on a platform draped with American flags. A rollup gives Cena a very early two and it’s already a standoff. Dupree takes him down by the waist as the fans start the required USA chant. That drives Cena to grab a hammerlock, which goes nowhere. Instead it’s a hard shoulder so Dupree thinks about rolling outside but thinks better of the idea.

We come back with Dupree cranking on the neck and driving an elbow into it for two. More neck cranking fires Cena up so it’s a running clothesline to cut him back down. Cena’s next comeback is cut off by Booker T. pulling the top rope down so the next beating can ensue. Dupree adds a backbreaker and a middle rope elbow for two. Cena gets sent outside again and this time it’s Booker getting in some extra shots to give Rene two. A spinebuster sets up the French Tickler but Cena backdrops out of a powerbomb. Right hands have Dupree in trouble and Booker screaming NO. The FU retains the title.

Rating: C+. It’s not as good as their previous matches but at least they had the good ending that made things a little bit better. Cena finishes off his first feud with a win and the fans are very pleased with the victory. Dupree has been an actual surprise during this feud as you would have expected him to be a one off victory for Cena but he held up his own end of the feud, which is something you can always use.

The good guys put Cena on their shoulders in a pretty big overreaction to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’d hesitate to say that this show was better but it was at least less bad. The JBL involvement was limited to a single promo and while the Dudleys going after Undertaker makes you say “seriously?”, they had a good opening match and the rest of the stuff was pretty quick. They still need better heels, but focusing on Cena for a week was a nice change of pace as the Eddie vs. JBL feud isn’t doing anyone any favors. Not a terrible show, but it was better than recent weeks. Granted, that’s not the highest hurdle to clear.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – April 1, 2004: The Joke Is On Them

Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2004
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re officially in the JBL Era here and that’s going to go on for a long time. Last week we saw the debut of the new character, followed by him interfering in an Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T. World Title match. I was hoping that it was just a bad dream but now it seems that we’re going to be in for the long haul. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, which STILL includes Rock.

Here’s General Manager Kurt Angle to open things up. There’s something behind him underneath a black blanket, which Cole thinks might be a surprise. Angle talks about sacrificing his in-ring career for the good of both the fans and Smackdown. He can’t do it alone though and needs someone to step up and help him.

Tonight, someone needs to show that they’ve earned what is underneath the blanket: a trophy, which is the Kurt Angle Great American Award. Eddie Guerrero isn’t eligible, mainly because the winner gets the next shot at Eddie’s title. Tonight there will be a series of matches with the winners being the official nominees, with the first match beginning right now.

Great American Award Nominee Match: Big Show vs. Rikishi

Rikishi slugs away to start but gets knocked down with next to no effort. The slow beating begins, including the boot choke in the corner. One heck of an overhand chop puts Rikishi down but he superkicks Show in the corner. The Stinkface is broken up though and the chokeslam gives Show the pin. They kept it short, as they should have.

Earlier today, JBL with the horned limo arrived, complete with him yelling at the Latino driver, especially for not speaking English. Cole hypes up JBL’s portfolio beating the stock market SEVEN YEARS IN A ROW, which is now the way you push a top heel.

Rey Mysterio/Spike Dudley vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Chavo has new music. Rey and Jr. start things off with Mysterio’s standing Lionsault getting caught, only to have him armdrag Jr. down. Everything breaks down and it’s a Bronco Buster to Jr. and Spike’s running corner stomping on Sr. Rey gets crotched on top though and Sr. comes in for a butterfly suplex.

The fans think Chavo sucks and Tazz wants to know which one. My money is on Jr., who comes in with a camel clutch to Rey. That doesn’t last long and Rey sends Jr. into a right hand from Spike, who comes in for more offense than you’re usually going to see from him. Jr. saves his dad from a 619 so Spike Dudley Dogs Jr. while kicking Sr. to the floor for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s a bad night for the champions so far and the match just wasn’t working very well. I can certainly go for having Spike as a cruiserweight more than as the plucky underdog though and at least he’s getting some more time. That being said, if you’re going to use this to likely set up a title match, maybe you shouldn’t have had Spike lose to Jr. last week.

Post match JBL comes in to beat up Rey and Spike, because cruiserweights mean nothing around here.

Great American Award Nominee Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Charlie Haas

Rematch from last week, though Haas now has new trunks. Haas tries to take it to the mat but has to avoid a kick to the face. Another attempt gets Rob on the mat, though jumping him from behind works. Unfortunately for Haas, the second attempt at kicking him in the face works as well but Haas is smart enough to start in on the leg. A headscissors sends Haas to the floor and he picks up a chair. Cole: “Great Americans don’t run around hitting people in the head with steel chairs.”

Back in and more shots to the leg have Rob in trouble and Haas wraps it around the post a few times. Charlie pulls him down by the leg again and puts on a half crab, which works a bit better than last week. Van Dam still gets out in a hurry, but this time Haas doesn’t get kicked in the face. A trip up top takes too long though and now Haas gets kicked in the head. Rolling Thunder (What leg injury?) gets two but the Five Star misses. Haas rolls to the floor and grabs the chair to knock the suicide dive out of the way, setting up the double countout.

Rating: C-. Not bad, Van Dam’s selling issues aside. I can appreciate the idea of building Haas up though as you can always have a good technical guy on the roster to get a good match out there. Haas isn’t likely to go anywhere and going 0-1-1 in two matches isn’t the best start, but the talent is clear and with a few wins, he could be a fine midcarder.

Actually hang on as Angle comes out and says Haas wins because he was ahead on points. Well yeah, he certainly was. Cole, obviously lacking an eye for talent, freaks out.

Video on JBL’s big promo and interference from last week. They’re certainly going full speed ahead with this guy.

We look back at JBL getting out of the limo earlier and then beating up Mysterio and Spike.

Booker wants in on the Great American Award and gets a Nominee match with Hardcore Holly. So Booker is slumming it with Holly while freaking BRADSHAW is pushed as one of the top heels. Who writes this nonsense?

Video on the WWE getting an award from the USO.

Great American Award Nominee Match: Booker T. vs. Hardcore Holly

They trade shots in the corner to start as Cole talks about earning respect on Smackdown. You know, like Holly has done for all those years. Holly knocks him to the floor for a seven count so Booker comes back in with the hook kick to the face. A delayed vertical suplex gives Holly two and it’s off to the armbar.

Booker fights up and gets two off a side slam before dropping a knee. An elbow gives Holly two and it’s back to the armbar. Back up and Booker’s Cactus Clothesline puts them on the floor as we take a break. We come back with the side kick putting Holly on the floor but not being able to suplex him onto the steps.

Instead Holly suplexes him onto the floor and throws Booker back inside, only to have Booker get two off his twisting sunset flip out of the corner. Holly makes the fired up comeback and gets two of his own off a powerslam. The dropkick gets two but Booker Book Ends him for the same. With nothing else working, Booker grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. The post break half was way better than the first but my goodness why is Hardcore Holly going move for move with Booker T. for more than fifteen minutes? I don’t know who in the world thinks JBL is a better top heel than Booker (at least given their statuses at the moment) but we really are getting Booker as the midcard act who has trouble beating Holly while JBL gets to run people over.

Dudley Boyz vs. Akio/Sakoda

Bubba headlocks Sakoda to start and shoulders him down, only to have Akio kick Bubba in the back of the head to take over. The stomping begins, which makes sense given that Akio and Sakoda are just generic villains now that Tajiri is gone. Sakoda cranks on the neck but Bubba just blasts him with an overhand chop. It’s off to Akio so Bubba hits a pretty good looking spear to cut him down as well. The diving tag brings in D-Von to clean house and the villains are sent into each other. A 3D finishes Akio in short order.

Rating: D. Just a short match here as the Dudleys are still getting settled in around here. That being said, the Dudleys vs. Scotty/Rikishi isn’t exactly a big time match so I’d assume a title change before we get to the title showdown. Akio and Sakoda aren’t bad by any stretch, but they’re not going anywhere without a few tweaks.

We look at the nominees for the Great American Award.

The Dudleys check on Spike when Teddy Long comes in to offer his services. Well for Bubba and D-Von at least.

Raw Rebound looks at Chris Jericho ripping Trish Stratus apart and Shelton Benjamin upsetting HHH.

Eddie arrives and talks to the limo driver. Plans seem to be forming.

Rene Young and Fifi come out for commentary with Tazz interviewing the dog.

Great American Award Nominee Match: John Cena vs. Nunzio/Johnny Stamboli

Cena gets a heck of a reception as the star power is growing at a remarkable rate. He doesn’t think much of the other nominees because that award is his. Cena also throws in an insult to Dupree and Fifi, suggesting that Cole is in love with him. I’ll let you figure out who Cena is talking about. Cena easily pounds Stamboli down and knocks Nunzio off the apron before catapulting Stamboli into his partner. The Throwback and Shuffle set up the FU to put Stamboli away. I don’t think Cena is even sweating.

Post match Cena gets in Dupree’s face.

Angle recaps the Great American Award process and wants Eddie in the ring next.

Here’s Angle with the trophy for an announcement. He’s proud of the locker room because they’ve shown that HHH wouldn’t have lasted five minutes here. The award will be given out next week because the fans can vote for the winner. Make your choice careful too, as the winner will be the new #1 contender to Eddie’s title. This brings out Eddie, who cuts Angle off a few times to annoy the boss.

Eddie is ready to fight right now but Angle isn’t going to do that because he’s the General Manager. Instead, he wants someone skilled to take the title from Eddie. Someone who is as adept at the stock market as Eddie is at stealing cars. That would of course be JBL, who is now the fifth nominee for the Award. JBL comes out in the limo and climbs on top to thank Angle for the nomination. He can’t wait to get out of here and get back to New York City to his Central Park home.

We hear about all of his TV and radio show appearances, plus hear a plug for his TALK RADIO SHOW! As for Eddie, last week was just business and now he wants the WWE Championship. Eddie wants to make it personal and climbs onto the limo where he steals the hat as JBL goes back in through the moon roof. With JBL saying that the hat costs $1000, Eddie passes it around the arena, telling fans to put whatever they want into it. Angry Texas ranting ends the show. I don’t know about you, but I could really go for more from the #1 contender than “I wear expensive hats and talk about the stock market”.

Overall Rating: D-. So, much like last week, we got to see the new names showing up and having matches that meant absolutely nothing because it’s clear that JBL is getting the shot and didn’t have to wrestle a match to get there. The wrestling ranged from pretty meh to bad and then you have the entire change of pace at the end of the show. Just a worthless show as you can see the cliff coming from here and that makes it really hard to watch.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – March 18, 2004: Does Eddie Ever Get Tired Of Saving Us?

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 18, 2004
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and, much like this week’s Monday Night Raw, the level of importance of this show might be pretty low. Eddie Guerrero is still Smackdown World Champion, having vanquished Kurt Angle, meaning he now needs a new challenger. There aren’t many options though and that makes things a little more complicated. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

Here’s hometown boy and new US Champion John Cena to open things up. Cena is glad to be home and talks about how he used to buy tickets for the old Boston Gardens. Back at Wrestlemania, he put Big Show on an FU diet and Show came out ten pounds lighter. Cena brings championships home like he’s Tom Brady. The FCC is getting on him and they suck just like the Yankees. It’s time for Cena’s first match but here’s Paul Heyman instead.

Heyman confirms that Brock Lesnar is gone from Smackdown and WWE as well, so maybe Cena can be the new face of the show. This Monday though, Cena might be getting sent over the Monday Night Raw. If Heyman was one of the superstars in the locker room, he would be on his knees praying to be drafted to Raw. Everyone left on Smackdown will be suffering Heyman’s wrath and that includes Cena. Heyman slaps him and gets knocked down but here’s Rhyno to start the title match.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rhyno

Cena is defending and takes an early spinebuster for two. He charges into a hard elbow in the corner to make it worse but the fans are still behind him, despite his tendency to charge in too soon. The real comeback (after being on defense for all of a minute) starts with some shoulders and the Shuffle, complete with pumping up the shoes. The FU retains the title in a hurry. Cena has taken about three giant steps forward into stardom since winning the title and you can see that fire in his eyes.

Edge is coming back. Still no date given.

Heyman is upset by what happened but runs into the APA, who laugh at him over what they saw. Therefore, if they don’t win the Tag Team Titles tonight, they’re fired.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. APA

Rikishi and Scotty are defending. Bradshaw starts with Scotty, who tags out for the showdown with Rikishi. A slugout goes badly as Rikishi takes over with a headbutt and now it’s off to Scotty for some right hands of his own. Scotty’s middle rope crossbody goes as badly as you would expect and Faarooq comes in to slowly punch away. Bradshaw comes back in for a torture rack (still would be a great finisher for someone) and Faarooq puts on the chinlock.

Faarooq starts jumping onto Scotty’s back but eventually lands on raised knees, ala Arn Anderson. A tornado DDT to Bradshaw gets Scotty out of trouble and it’s off to Rikishi for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Faarooq breaks up the Worm with a right hand. Now why did no one else ever think of that? Not that it matters as Rikishi superkicks Bradshaw to retain.

Rating: D. Pretty bad match here and that’s not exactly a surprise. Why would you expect the APA to do anything more than bad at this point? They haven’t had a good match in a long time and it’s way past their expiration date. Scotty and Rikishi aren’t very good champions but with the rest of the available options, they’re about as high a level as we’re reaching right now.

Post break the APA storms into Heyman’s office so he can fire them to their faces. The thing is, they didn’t listen to Heyman because only Faarooq is fired (Heyman did say that if Faarooq and his partner didn’t win “you are fired”) because Bradshaw has too much value. Faarooq says they’re both out of here but Bradshaw stays, turning himself heel in the process. It should be noted that Faarooq was fired earlier in the day so this wasn’t the most shocking result.

We see Vince’s Lottery announcement from Raw.

Dawn Marie has gathered Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, Billy Gunn and Rey Mysterio in a locker room. Heyman comes in to talk about the Smackdown locker room being united against him last week so tonight, they’re going to play Divide and Conquer. He can’t control what happens on Monday, but he can control what happens tonight. The four of them are running a gauntlet and the winner gets a WWE Title shot tonight. Haas and Benjamin aren’t interested in fighting each other so Heyman makes them the first part of the gauntlet.

Video on Wrestlemania.

Gauntlet Match

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin get things going, showing off their blue and gold singlets. To the shock of no one, they go straight to the mat for a fight over arm control. Charlie gets the better of it for all of a few seconds before they get back to their feet where Shelton takes over with a headlock. That takes us to a standoff until they fight over a top wristlock. This time it’s Haas taking him down into a leglock, which is reversed into another headlock.

Shelton tosses him down and taps Charlie on the jaw, meaning it’s time to get serious. After a trip to the floor, they’re right back inside with Shelton hooking a front facelock. Shelton slaps him in the jaw again and Charlie isn’t having any of that. Back in and Haas gets two off a suplex (you would have expected more than that), followed by a bridging German suplex for the same. Shelton jumps over him in the corner though and the Dragon Whip (to the chest) is good for the pin.

Back from a break, Faarooq tries to leave but gets stopped by Bradshaw, who begs him not to leave. Bradshaw is a freaking one man conglomerate and he can’t be fired just because Faarooq said something stupid.

Now back to the match with Billy Gunn in third to face Shelton. Gunn takes too long getting in so Shelton stomps away in the corner. A running clothesline drops Gunn again and they head to the floor. This goes a bit better for Gunn as Shelton is whipped into the barricade for two back inside. Shelton doesn’t seem to mind as he elbows Gunn in the face and knees him hard in the head. Gunn gets out of a reverse chinlock with a jawbreaker and catches a charging Shelton with a raised boot. The good looking tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two but the Fameasser misses. Shelton grabs a rollup (and the rope) for the upset (Maybe?) pin.

Before we get to the next name, here’s Big Show to say he’s not happy about losing the US Title to a cheater like Cena and is entering the gauntlet as the last man.

Back to the match again with Mysterio as the fourth man. They trade some rollups to start until Shelton snaps off an exploder suplex to take over. A delayed belly to back suplex gets two and some knees in the corner have Rey in even more trouble. Shelton whips him hard into the buckles and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. That switches over to a regular armbar, which Rey reverses into the sitout bulldog. Shelton is right back with a powerslam but Rey slips out of a German suplex. The 619 lets Rey Drop the Dime for the pin in the best section of the gauntlet so far.

Hall of Fame video. Why are they doing all of these breaks in between the matches?

So it’s Mysterio vs. Big Show for the title shot with Rey getting smart early on by rolling to the floor. Back in and Rey dives between Show’s legs but gets backed into the corner, allowing Show to toss him around. Show stands on Rey’s head but Rey snaps him throat first across the top. A springboard missile dropkick rocks Show, who kicks Rey in the face for two as the comeback is cut off in a hurry.

Show standing on Rey’s back has Mysterio bailing outside again, this time with a good bit more pain. Back in and Show gives him a rather impressive gorilla press drop, launching Rey into the air so the crash is even bigger. Cue Cena for a distraction though with Show going outside to get him, allowing Rey to hit a 619. The referee yells at Rey, allowing Cena to get in a belt shot to bounce Show off the post for the countout.

Rating: D-. This was a bunch of lame matches and while the most interesting choice won, it felt like they were doing the least interesting thing they possibly could have, which made this a very long match with almost nothing standing out as good. Mysterio vs. Benjamin was passable, which is probably why it was the shortest section of the whole thing. At least the title match has serious potential though.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and they shake hands to start. An exchange of wristlocks and armdrags give us a standoff with Rey holding his arm. Eddie trips him down and puts on a headlock, only to have Rey snap off a heck of a headscissors to send the champ outside. Rey motions that he wants the title as Eddie looks stunned. Back in and Rey slaps him in the face for some reason so Eddie sends him arm first into the buckle to stop Rey cold. An armbar goes on but Rey realizes he’s next to the rope for a fast break.

Eddie, having a brain, takes him down into another armbar but Rey, being Rey, spins out and monkey flips Eddie down. Mysterio pulls him to the floor for an Asai moonsault and we take a break. Back with Eddie hitting a top rope superplex for two and staying on the back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. To really crank things up, Eddie puts on a cross between a Gory Stretch and a chickenwing (egads that looks painful), making Rey tap twice. Why these taps (with Tazz and Cole saying Rey is tapping, as he’s clearly slapping his shoulder) don’t count isn’t clear but Rey reverses into a small package for two.

Eddie takes him down again and twists the arm even more, followed by some stomping to the arm. Rey fights out of another armbar and tries a springboard moonsault to Eddie’s back, driving him face first into the mat for two. The springboard seated senton gets the same as the pace is picking up. There’s a tornado DDT for two more but Rey is spent. Two rolling verticals connect but Rey reverses the third into a rollup. Eddie finally hits the third and tries the frog splash, which only hits mat. Rey hits the 619 and Rey Drops the Dime but Eddie rolls away. La majistral retains Eddie’s title.

Rating: B+. Oh come on like these two were going to have anything short of a great match. They know each other so well and it was no surprise that they were able to tear it up out there. Mysterio wasn’t likely to win but he’s good enough to make you believe that a miracle could happen to give him the title. That’s a valuable asset and Mysterio can do it as well as almost anyone else ever.

Post match Heyman comes out to say he didn’t know Spanish was the new language around here. He hopes Eddie and Rey’s families get deported because they have no place on his Smackdown. Next week he’s the only person guaranteed to be on Smackdown….and the gong strikes. Heyman decides to get back in the ring with Mysterio and Guerrero as Undertaker takes off the coat and hat (revealing a bandanna for a weird look). Eddie shoves him into a Tombstone to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. It says a lot when a really good Eddie vs. Rey match can’t save your show. This was as much of a punt of a show as you could imagine and unfortunately that’s not the biggest surprise in the world. They could have done something better than this, but I guess Shelton Benjamin vs. Billy Gunn was one of their best available ideas at the moment. Really lame show, but I can kind of understand why it happened.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2016: To Be The Best

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,974
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

A year has passed since I saw this show and I can barely remember much about it. That’s very telling when you look at how stacked this show really is. There are multiple top level matches here and it really wasn’t clear what was going to close the show until the night of the event. Hopefully that means that this SIX HOUR show holds up. Let’s get to it.

So here’s a quick plug. I’m going through the pre-show and there’s a three expert panel of Booker T., Jerry Lawler and Lita. Earlier this year, I met all three of them at WrestleCon. If you’re ever at a Wrestlemania weekend, treat yourself to an amazing time and GO TO WRESTLECON. I met over 120 wrestlers in about four hours. Where else are you going to get to do something like that? Anyway, on with the show.

Pre-Show: American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Who would have thought that Breezango would be the most entertaining out of all these teams? This is pretty much the still titleless Smackdown tag division at this point as they had to bring in the Headbangers and throw together Heath Slater and Rhyno to be able to have a tournament. This is also a rematch from Smackdown, which shows how little effort they were putting into the tag division at this point.

Gable and Breeze start things and the fans are WAY into Gable. Chad twists around as only he can to escape a wristlock and it’s off to Jey, who is quickly driven into the corner. English comes in and says that he’s what a man is. That earns him a right hand to the jaw and it’s off to Mojo to work on a wristlock. Ryder comes in to quite the reaction as Mauro says the Hype Bros have more chemistry than the Periodic Table.

Everything breaks down (What took them so long?) and Ascension clears the ring, only to have American Alpha come off the top (the same corner) with double clotheslines (that’s pure Steiner Brothers). English posts Ryder though and we take a break. Back with Gotch putting Ryder in a chinlock, followed by Viktor doing the same. The other heels take turns stomping on Ryder until Breeze grabs his own chinlock. Fandango adds a slingshot legdrop as this is going WAY longer than it needs to.

JBL thinks cold beer uniting the APA is more effective than furry selfie sticks uniting Breezango but maybe he’s wrong. Ascension knocks the good guys off the apron but Viktor misses a charge in the corner, allowing Ryder to get in a neckbreaker on Konnor. The hot tag (with a limited reaction) brings in Jimmy to clean house.

Jordan gets the real hot tag and does his fired up sequence (which he really is awesome at) with a belly to belly getting two on Breeze. We hit the parade of secondary finishers as the referee is imploring them to tag. Mojo powerbombs Breeze and Viktor out of the corner and the Usos add stereo superkicks to set up stereo dives. Back in and Grand Amplitude plants Gotch, only to have Jey tag himself in for a Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:31. Gable is really not cool with that. Eh just wait until your team is split up for a pretty lame story where Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a few minutes from this, it’s a heck of an opener. There are too many people in the match of course but they kept it moving fast enough (for the most part) to really get something fun out of it. Jordan’s house cleaning spot is a heck of a way to fire the crowd up and it made the match more fun than it should have been. Tweak this a bit (eight/ten man tag or shorten the match a bit) and it’s even better.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

Sami works on D-Von’s arm to start and it’s off to Neville for more of the same. Both of them get in more shots as we hear about the rivalry over the NXT Title. I do appreciate the history, especially when Graves should know about that match very well. Bubba is sent outside but D-Von breaks up a springboard dive, allowing Bubba to nail Neville from behind to take over. The fans want tables but a back elbow to Neville’s jaw cuts them off in a hurry.

Back from a break with Bubba hitting his neckbreaker out of the corner. Things slow down even more as Bubba is talking even more than he usually does in a match. Bubba: “COME ON ENGLISH BOY! O-LAY! O-LAY!” The middle rope backsplash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. D-Von takes the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but the reverse 3D gets the same. Neville escapes the regular version though and we get some heel miscommunication. The Helluva Kick sets up the Red Arrow to put Bubba away at 7:55.

Rating: C-. That would be it for the Dudleys in WWE as they would have one more segment tomorrow night where Anderson and Gallows sent them packing. It’s also pretty much it for Sami and Neville as a team, which is quite odd as you would think they would be a fine choice for a team. The match was nothing you wouldn’t expect on Raw.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

You know, because two matches just weren’t enough for the pre-show. This is the first match of the Best of Seven Series, which really wasn’t too well received. After Cole says Cesaro is facing Cesaro and both Cole and Saxton say this is about establishing physical dominance, we’re ready to go. Sheamus misses a very early Brogue Kick but the spinning springboard uppercut is blocked as well.

Cesaro charges into an uppercut but comes back with a dropkick for one. The ten forearms to the chest are broken up so Sheamus clotheslines him onto the apron instead. It’s off to an armbar on Cesaro’s chronically taped up shoulder but Cesaro lifts him up into that kind of reverse Angle Slam of his. They’re certainly hitting each other hard here, which is pretty much the draw of the whole feud.

Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl slam and it’s off to a break. Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock because that rule even applies on pre-shows that will never end. The Irish Curse gives Sheamus two as Cole runs down the pay per view card, which only makes me think that there are FAR too many titles in WWE. They fight over a suplex and fall out to the floor in a heap. Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the running uppercuts in the corner, capped off by a dropkick to knock him off the ropes.

The apron superplex (which wasn’t from the apron) gets two but Sheamus counters the Neutralizer into White Noise for two. There’s the super Regal Roll for two more and frustration is really setting in. Another Brogue Kick attempt is countered by one heck of a clothesline though and Cesaro adds a high crossbody for two of his own. Cesaro tries the Sharpshooter but Sheamus gets to the ropes. Back up and a poke to the eye sets up the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 14:11.

Rating: B. They beat the heck out of each other and it was a fun match but it also brings up the problem: I’m not going to want to watch them fight six more times. No matter how good things are, having them happen so many times in a row over several weeks is going to get tiresome. It happens in all these series and it’s happening here too.

And now, after more wrestling than you get on an average Smackdown, here’s the actual pay per view.

The opening video looks at New York City, with the narrator telling you how AMAZING the city is. I’m not sure if New York City or Texas is worse about bragging about their home’s greatness. As usual, this switches over to a series of quick looks at the biggest matches on the card.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Well duh. That’s about as easy of a choice for an opener as you could ever find for this show. As you might expect, the crowd eats up the opening promo with a spoon and of course we hear a ton of New York City music references. Included are Frank Sinatra, Biggie Smalls and Jay-Z, plus more that probably go over my head. Cass adds in a few songs of his own as this is the only way this show could have opened. Since Graves is the best heel commentator in wrestling today though, he points out that Enzo is from New Jersey.

Jericho and Owens jump Enzo at the bell and the STUPID IDIOT chants start rolling. Enzo comes back with a crossbody and a running right hand to the jaw for two. It’s off to Cass, who drags Owens inside for a beal. That’s some scary power. Enzo gets launched into the corner to crush Jericho but the Canadians bail to the floor. That’s fine with Cass who tosses Enzo over the top onto them in a huge crash. I’ve always loved that spot as it just looks cool.

Back in and Enzo ax handles Owens but turns into a middle rope dropkick from Jericho. The Canadian violence begins with Owens kneeing Enzo from the apron and doing his dance on the apron in a rather funny visual. Owens’ comedic skills aren’t given enough credit more often than not. It’s back to Jericho for the Arrogant Cover and a chinlock with Owens telling Jericho to do it like he taught him.

Owens comes in and adds a gutbuster for two, followed by the running start for a chinlock. It takes real talent to turn a chinlock into an art form but Owens has somehow pulled it off. Enzo finally rolls away but Jericho is there to break up the diving tag attempt. Owens drops the frog splash for two and his stunned looked on the kickout is the usual awesome visual. Enzo gets pulled off the corner to make things even worse but, after blowing a kiss to Jericho, misses the Cannonball.

That means the hot tag to Cass and everything breaks down. Jericho dives into a big boot but Owens breaks up the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka. Cass gets posted on the floor and now the Cannonball against the barricade connects. Back in and Enzo scores with his top rope DDT on Jericho with Owens making the save. A pop up Codebreaker (didn’t look great as Jericho was too far away) ends Enzo at 12:09.

Rating: C+. Odd choice for an ending aside (not surprising of course but odd), this was a good way to get the crowd going. I could have gone for another hope spot from Enzo and more of Cass cleaning house but that pop up Codebreaker could have been a heck of a finisher if done right. Nice opener, though would it have killed them to put Enzo and Cass over in Brooklyn?

Smackdown bosses Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon run into Raw General Manager Mick Foley to brag about how awesome their shows are. Former Daily Show host Jon Stewart and his son come in to ask what Foley is thinking to work with Stephanie. He rants about abuse of power but realizes she’s right behind him. Stephanie yells at him about how great it is to abuse power but thankfully New Day comes up. As the Smackdown bosses and Foley much on cereal, New Day asks Jon if he’d like to do something. He gets out as fast as he can and Stephanie isn’t amused.

We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks. Sasha won the Women’s Title on the first exclusive show after the Brand Split and tonight is the rematch. The other big idea here is Charlotte never loses singles matches on pay per view and Banks has to recreate the magic one more time.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Some early WOOing sets up a slightly less early Bank Statement but Charlotte bails to the floor. Back in and Banks climbs the corner for a wristdrag before sending Charlotte face first into the middle buckle. Banks gets caught on top though and Charlotte basically drops her onto the ropes for a backbreaker which almost had to hurt horribly. The fact that Banks had a bad back coming in and Charlotte still did some rather sloppy moves like that got her in some hot water.

We hit a Gory Stretch on the champ for a bit but she comes back with a pair of running clotheslines. That just earns her another backbreaker and Charlotte stomps away at the back. The Figure Eight is broken up but Sasha misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Charlotte picks her up for a super Razor’s Edge but since that would, you know, kill Sasha, she reverses into a hurricanrana to put them both down.

Back up and a WOO earns Charlotte a string of slaps before Sasha avoids a charge in the corner and hits the double knees to the back for two. Charlotte kicks her in the leg to break up a charge but gets knocked outside again, setting up the double knees from the apron. Back in and the Backstabber doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement (thankfully too as the Natural Selection clearly didn’t send Sasha’s head anywhere near the mat).

Charlotte makes the rope for the break and takes out the knee again. Natural Selection gives Charlotte two so she yells about being better than Sasha. Another Bank Statement goes on but Charlotte reverses into a rollup for the pin and the title at 13:52. Saxton: “Just like that?”

Rating: B. This was just a straight match and that’s the key to the whole thing. The women are getting to show that they can have a good match without the smoke and mirrors, which never would have been the case otherwise. If nothing else it got the kind of time that a title match deserves to develop the story of Banks having a bad back (which would keep her on the shelf for about a month). Strong match here and another of many to come for these two.

Doctors Anderson and Gallows (oh man I had forgotten how stupid this was) run into AJ Styles for a Club reunion. Finn Balor comes up and doesn’t think much of it. Somehow, this has still never gone anywhere.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending after winning a triple threat match. Miz comes out wearing a glittery Phantom of the Opera mask while Maryse is basically in a one piece swimsuit. In a sign of the changing times, Mauro talks about Miz’s look instead of Maryse. Miz stomps away in the corner and gets two off a running kick to the chest. Crews gets the same off a rollup, only to walk into the short DDT as it’s almost all Miz to start. We’re already in the reverse chinlock before Miz sends him into the apron to cut off a comeback. Miz takes too long coming off the top though and dives into a dropkick to put both guys down.

A crossbody into a nipup has Miz in trouble as JBL rants about Otunga calling Crews a Jackrobat (jacked acrobat). The Toss Powerbomb is countered so Crews gets two off a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. An overhead belly to belly sets up a standing moonsault, which Otunga sums up perfectly: “A man with that kind of size and that kind of muscle should not be able to do that.” Miz teases taking a walk but Maryse cuts him off, allowing Miz to post Crews. The Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:36.

Rating: D+. Standard Smackdown match and something that could have been cut, or at least put in the Kickoff Show in the place of the Dudleys match. Crews felt like an easy obstacle to overcome because there was nowhere near enough build to set the match up. Put some more effort into the title already people, as it’s just not working.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. They set up the first match when Styles and Cena were in the ring together, only to have Anderson and Gallows interfere to turn Styles heel. Styles went on a great rant about how Cena was a fraud who couldn’t hang in the ring with someone like him. Cena went into a great speech about how he’s here out of love because it never gets old. AJ beat him at Money in the Bank with assistance from Anderson and Gallows, setting up a rematch between the two here.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This just feels big. AJ grabs a waistlock to start but is easily knocked away. The announcers go out of the way to put over how AJ has been on big shows before but nothing this big. Oh I don’t know. I remember him being at that Wrestlemania thing earlier in the year. The dueling chants begin and the AJ STYLES side is pretty clearly stronger.

Cena’s headlock is countered and AJ scores with the dropkick but the bragging earns AJ a right to the jaw. A hard whip into the corner sends AJ down for a bit with Cena doing some rare trash talking. They head to the floor and the fans start belting out JOHN CENA SUCKS, only to have AJ turn it into some gasping with a suplex onto the apron. Cena is right back with a dropkick for two and it’s time for some more right hands to the head.

AJ comes back with a forearm to the face, earning himself Cena’s finishing sequence. It’s way too early for the AA though as AJ hits a Pele, followed by the Styles Clash for a close two. The fans were actually more into the near fall than I was expecting as you would think they’d know better this early. The AA gives Cena two of his own and both guys are down again.

Styles slips out of the super AA and grabs the torture rack for the spinout powerbomb. They’re trading bombs at this point and it’s the only way they should be going here. Something like a Big Ending gives Cena two but he can’t get the STF. Instead it’s the AA neckbreaker for two on Cena (not the same as the AA JBL) but the springboard 450 only hits mat.

A faceplant puts Cena down again though and AJ can’t follow up. He manages the springboard forearm but Cena reverses into the worst STF I’ve ever seen. Thankfully AJ slips out and grabs a Crossface, which Cena powers out of as well. That’s reversed into the Calf Crusher which AJ is smart enough to twist away from the ropes. Cena reverses that into another horrible STF (AJ’s face is on the mat) so AJ is quickly up with the enziguri. A tornado DDT plants AJ and there’s the top rope Fameasser for two.

Cena heads up again and gets taken down with a super hurricanrana (Mauro: “MAMA MIA!”), followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for a VERY near fall (drawing Mauro to his feet). It’s Cena’s turn now as he takes AJ up for the super AA and….it’s two. NOW the fans know it’s on as I don’t think anyone has ever kicked out of that before. Cena is stunned and the AA is countered into another Clash. The Phenomenal Forearm puts Cena away clean at 23:10.

Rating: A. I know it’s not going to sound good but a lot of this goes to Cena. At the end of the day, the crowd completely lost it when AJ kicked out of that super AA. AJ wins here not because he got a pin but because he beat Cena clean. That’s a very, VERY short list and that’s what makes it feel so important. Think back to how big of a deal it was when Warrior pinned Hogan clean. That felt like an era changing win, and while this isn’t quite that big, it’s the same idea.

Oh yeah and it’s an outstanding match and possibly the Match of the Year. This was the heavyweight slugfest formula as they beat the heck out of each other with both guys hitting everything they could until one of them couldn’t get up. That’s a really hard match to pull off and these two did it in an incredible match. It belonged on the grand stage and gives Cena one heck of a mountain to overcome, which he somehow did in a better match at the Royal Rumble.

Post match Cena takes off his wristband and leaves it in the ring. He would do dark matches for a few weeks and then be back wrestling on TV in less than a month so this didn’t mean anything.

Some fans won a contest and got some stuff. In other words, let the fans have a breather.

Here’s Jon Stewart for your celebrity appearance. He makes fun of himself for interfering in Cena’s match last year and says the big lesson he learned was to tuck your shirt in when you’re taking an AA. As for tonight though, he’s here to be in New Day’s corner to help deal with Anderson and Gallows. In honor of the moment, he throws on a unicorn horn and does Big E.’s (out injured due to getting crotched against the post) entrance.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending of course and unfortunately Anderson and Gallows are still doing their stupid doctor nonsense, complete with jars for Kofi, Xavier and Jon’s testicles. I hear Paige can help you with one of those. Anderson headlocks Kofi down to start but he’s right back up with the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Kofi flips onto his feet and gets two off the standing double stomp. You can tell the fans are still recovering from the previous match and it’s off to Woods.

That goes badly as the he gets taken into the corner for a beating from Gallows. At least it does bring the fans back a bit with the rhythmic clapping. Gallows gets taken into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede (which they’ve kind of stopped doing in recent months) and the fans are really not responding. Woods sends him outside so Kofi can hit a running dive (while posing in the air) to take him down again. Back in and Gallows kicks Kofi in the head to take over for real this time with Anderson working on the arm.

That goes nowhere as the hot tag brings in Woods to clean house. Anderson sends him to the apron for an enziguri, setting up the rope walk elbow drop. Everything breaks down and Anderson kicks Kofi in the chest, setting up the Magic Killer. Stewart gets in though and it’s time to crotch him as well. Hang on though as he has to tuck in his shirt first. Cue the returning Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:09.

Rating: D. I don’t know if it was the previous match or what but sweet goodness the fans did NOT care for this one. It’s not a good match in the first place as Anderson and Gallows aren’t funny in the doctor roles, but the bigger problem here was the focus being on Stewart at the end. Oh and the ending sets up a rematch, which really isn’t what they need to be going with here. Bad match but Big E.’s return did wake up the crowd.

Big E. drinks the fluid in the jar holding his “testicles”. Stewart dances with New Day and the fans…well they care when Big E. dances at least.

We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler. Dolph won a six way match to earn the shot and then it all went nuts. Ziggler started talking about how he was tired of being told that he always either too good or not good enough. It was time to turn up the jets and become champion for the third time. Serious Ziggler was nice but I don’t think anyone was buying him as having a real chance here. You know, because he’s Dolph Ziggler.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is defending and Shane and Daniel are here for no apparent reason. The fans are behind Ziggler and they trade some grappling on the mat with Ziggler getting the better of it (not exactly a surprise). The threat of a neckbreaker sends Ambrose bailing to the floor so Dolph splashes him against the barricade.

Back in and Ziggler’s jumping DDT is countered with Dean throwing him outside again. Ziggler escapes a super Dirty Deeds so Dean slaps on a half crab of all things. You can tell Dean is playing the subtle heel here as the smark crowd is always going to cheer for Ziggler. Dean heads up top and gets dropkicked out of the air but he’s right back with a double chickenwing facebuster.

Ambrose tunes up the band (which is now mocking Ziggler instead of anything involving Shawn Michaels) but shakes his head and tries Dirty Deeds instead. That’s reversed into the jumping DDT and both guys are down again. A double collision gives us another lay down period until Dean is up first and hammering away.

The top rope elbow gets two so Ziggler grabs the sleeper, earning them both a tumble out to the floor. Ziggler gets in the superkick on the floor but it’s barely two back inside. The Zig Zag gets the same but Dean pops back up with the rebound lariat. Ziggler catches Dean on top and pulls him back down, right into Dirty Deeds to retain the title at 15:22.

Rating: D+. And that people, is Ziggler choking again. This would lead to him saying he’s never won the big one, which would turn into him never holding the World Title that long because holding the title is more important than winning it. The match was nothing all that good as we were just waiting on Dirty Deeds, which only happened so Dean could keep it warm for AJ next month. That was completely obvious the second AJ pinned Cena again and that’s all this title needed to do.

Package on Summerslam weekend.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Eva Marie vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Dang I didn’t know the Glow was a year old. Actually hang on a minute as Eva Marie is suffering from exhaustion, anxiety and stress (likely brought on by reading too many Wellness Violation messages, which meant she would never wrestle again) so we have a replacement. At least we got that amazing entrance one more time.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

So yeah, you know full well that Nikki is going to be all that matters in this match because IT’S HER BIG COMEBACK THAT EVERYONE TOTALLY CARES ABOUT BECAUSE WE LOVE HER SO MUCH! She does get one heck of a pop though, which is rather scary. During her entrance, Mauro declares her return “miraculous”. Oh man this is going to be a long one.

Bliss rolls Becky up to start and gets in a hard slap for good measure. Naomi comes in to scare Alexa off so it’s Natalya instead. A forearm puts Natalya down and the splits legdrop gets two. Carmella comes in for the Staten Island Shuffle before a missed charge sends Natalya outside. Back in and a powerslam out of the corner plants Carmella before it’s off to Nikki, the heel, for a strong face pop.

We hit the chinlock but hang on as we need some Nikki pushups. Alexa chokeshoves Carmella down for the moonsault knees to the ribs as the crowd is dead all over again. The abdominal stretch keeps things slow until Carmella finally rolls over and makes the hot tag to Becky. All three heels are send into the corner for the springboard kicks from Lynch, followed by a Bexploder on Natalya.

Becky’s top rope legdrop gets two with Nikki making the save. A blind tag brings in Naomi for the dancing kicks with the fans just not reacting at all. Bliss’ springboard splash hits knees so it’s off to Nikki vs. Carmella. A bad looking Bronco Buster gets two on Nikki and everything breaks down. Nikki’s big forearm sets up the Rack Attack 2.0 (Nikki: “I’m back.”) for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: D. This was all about Nikki’s return and that’s not enough to carry a dull match. Naomi’s Glow stuff wasn’t over yet, Becky was stuck around people who weren’t up to her level and Carmella was showing that she didn’t need to be on the main roster yet. The same was true for Alexa and Natalya was her usual self. Just not a good match and it showed the lack of depth to the division.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns. Rusev and Lana were married and so Reigns interrupted for no apparent reason to insult them and shove them into a cake.

Maria Menunos interviews Rusev and Lana, who don’t like her questions about Reigns. They won’t stand for this and Lana is sure that her husband will destroy Reigns.

We recap the Universal Title match. Basically we need a new title due to the Brand Split and Universal Title was the best they could come up with. Seth Rollins was put into the match as Raw’s #1 draft pick and Finn Balor earned his way in by winning a series of matches. Not much else to it as there’s no major animosity between them but it’s better than pulling the title out of a suitcase.

Seth did get in a great promo talking about how he’s done everything Balor has done but he’s done it a little bit better. He’s not wrong, though that’s not the best thing to do when you have someone so new to the main roster. Then Balor showed up as the Demon and scared Rollins to death.

Universal Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Anything goes and the title (which isn’t that well received due to a bad case of being hideous) is vacant coming in. Unless I’m forgetting something, to date this is the only time Balor has wrestled as the Demon on the main roster. We get the Big Match Intros and the title itself receives some hearty boos. Balor dropkicks him into the corner at the bell but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace.

Instead Balor hits a suicide dive to the floor, followed by some kicks to the knee back inside. They head outside again with Seth getting in his first offense via a suplex on the floor. Balor is right back with something like a Phenomenal Forearm off the barricade. Back in again and Balor hits a basement dropkick for two as this is almost one sided so far. Finn stays on the leg as the fans are singing something.

Balor jumps over the ropes but Rollins slides between his legs and powerbombs him into the barricade, completely destroying Balor’s shoulder and putting him on the shelf for the better part of eight months. We’re less than four minutes in though and you can see the shoulder looking all messed up. Back in and Seth gets two off a backbreaker, setting up a chinlock. The chants are still going and it sounds like THAT TITLE SUCKS to the tune of John Cena Sucks.

Seth starts the trash talk and cuts off a comeback attempt. A snapmare into a kick to the back has Finn in even more trouble but Seth would rather walk around than follow up. It’s back to the chinlock for a good while until the springboard knee to the head sets up Seth’s frog splash for two. What looks like a Rainmaker is countered into a DDT to give Balor his first major offense in a long time and he follows up with some forearms.

A basement dropkick sets up the Sling Blade but Seth kicks him down without much effort. An enziguri stuns Balor but he’s right back with the Pele, earning a very nice round of applause. If nothing else the chants about the title have stopped. 1916 (reverse implant DDT) gives Finn two but the Coup de Grace is countered into a triangle choke of all things. Finn falls outside because rope breaks don’t count (anything goes remember) and things slow down a bit.

Back in and the buckle bomb sets up the low superkick for two on Balor with Seth looking stunned on the kickout. A small package driver gets the same count and reaction so Seth goes up, allowing Balor to hit a very loud enziguri to put him on the floor. Balor adds a shotgun dropkick to send him into the barricade, followed by a top rope double stomp to the back of the head for two. The Coup de Grace misses and it’s a Pedigree for two. Finn counters a second Pedigree into a double stomp, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 19:23.

Rating: B+. When you factor in that shoulder injury, this is quite the impressive performance. Above all else though, how good is it that Balor won the title here? If he loses his first major pay per view match and then goes away until April, he’s lucky to come back to the cruiserweight division.

This was a heck of a match with both guys beating the heck out of each other. It took some time to get built up but once they finally got there, the fans really started to accept things, which is a very positive sign. Balor is someone who is going to get a very positive reaction no matter what and giving him the title here was entirely the right call.

Balor can barely move his right arm after the match but finally holds the title up. On his WWE 24 special, he said you could feel and hear the shoulder crunching and crackling as he lifted the title and it probably did more damage to the arm.

The pre-show channel chats a bit and throws us to a KFC ad with Dolph Ziggler dressing up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz dressed as a chicken. It’s actually dumber than you remember it being.

Here’s Lana to introduce Rusev, albeit while wearing half of a wedding dress, the bottom of which looks like a diaper. She’s one of the most beautiful women on the roster but she looks ridiculous here.

US Title: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

Roman is challenging and the booing is strong with this one. Rusev jumps him before the bell and they fight out to the floor with Roman being sent into the steps. The fans chant RUSEV MACHKA because they’ve given up on America over their hatred for Reigns. Roman gets in a Superman Punch as the bell hasn’t rung yet. They fight over a chair with Reigns getting the better of it and destroying Rusev. Reigns finally leaves but comes back with a spear, all while the fans chant WE WANT SLATER. No match of course, likely due to time issues.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar. This match was announced as Orton’s return match from surgery and the build focused on Orton being able to hit the RKO anytime, including a sweet moment where Orton interrupted a Lesnar promo with an RKO. The hype video even includes some OVW clips as they came up through developmental together and debuted within a few months of each other. This had a heck of a build and felt like something important but the question was whether Lesnar would have an actual match or just do his usual Lesnar stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar

Heyman handles Lesnar’s introduction, saying he’s conquering out of the University of Suplex City. Brock seems to get into his MMA stance to start before driving Orton into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Orton escapes the first German suplex attempt but can’t hit the RKO.

Now the first suplex connects (with Mauro knowing that it’s the 33rd Lesnar has hit at Summerslam because he’s awesome that way) and Brock follows with two more. Orton is almost out on his feet so Lesnar suplexes him again. It’s nothing but suplexes at this point and it’s already getting dull. They head outside for a much needed change of pace with Orton being thrown over the announcers’ table.

Orton gets thrown from the front row through the table as this is dominance. The other table is loaded up but whatever Lesnar is trying is countered into the RKO onto (not through) the table. The hanging DDT plants Lesnar back inside and another RKO gets two. Orton realizes he has no choice and tries the Punt, only to have it reversed into the F5 (bad one) for two more.

That’s enough for Lesnar so he takes off the gloves and pads and hammers on Orton. An elbow to the head actually busts Orton open VERY badly. Lesnar just keeps hammering on him while the fans chant GOLDBERG until the referee FINALLY stops it at 11:47. I’ve heard a bunch of answers about what happened but I believe this was the planned ending and a hard way opening.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work when it happened and it didn’t work again this time around. Lesnar suplexing Orton for five minutes then selling a few big moves doesn’t make me think it’s an awesome main event. This was everything wrong with Lesnar’s current WWE run in one match and that made for a really dull match, save for the odd finish that seemed designed to protect Orton. You know, after he was basically squashed.

Lesnar keeps hammering on him until the always intimidating Shane McMahon comes out, earning himself an F5 (which thankfully didn’t lead anywhere). Heyman panics as they leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. If you cut an hour (or more) out of this, it’s bordering on the classic level. As it is, this is just a good show that runs WAY too long. At some point you have to cut something out and WWE just refuses to do that. Cut out the Dudleys match or the women’s tag and give us some breathing room here because sweet goodness this show could use it.

Now that being said, there’s some outstanding stuff on here with the Styles vs. Cena match as an instant classic, the Women’s Title being very good, a great Universal Title match and really only the Tag Team Title match being without much value. The show is certainly good and the positives outweigh the negatives but unless the show is a masterpiece, fans are going to start losing interest near the end. It’s a solid show but cut out a good forty minutes to really make it great.

Ratings Comparison

American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Original: C

2017 Redo: B-

Dudley Boyz vs. Neville/Sami Zayn

Original: C

2017 Redo: C-

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

2017 Redo: B

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Original: C+

2017 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Original: B

2017 Redo: B

Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Original: C

2017 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A

2017 Redo: A

New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

2017 Redo: D

Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Original: C

2017 Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

2017 Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2017 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

2017 Redo: B-

That’s quite the drop on Ambrose vs. Ziggler and Lesnar vs. Orton. Some of them are spot on though and that’s not the biggest surprise.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/08/21/summerslam-2016-they-didnt/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6