IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 13, 2003
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means it’s time for a bunch of matches to set up Sunday’s elimination match. However, one of those matches needs a participant as Kurt Angle’s team only has four members at this point. You can probably guess the last member but the official announcement probably takes place tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Later tonight: Brock Lesnar/Big Show vs. Chris Benoit/the fifth member.

Kurt Angle vs. Nathan Jones

Jones has Matt Morgan in his corner but he’s ejected before the music even turns off. A top wristlock goes very badly for Angle so he switches to a double leg takedown for some better results. You know, by using wrestling. Back up and a big boot misses so Angle can knock him out to the floor. Jones drops him face first onto the barricade though and Angle is in some sudden trouble. Not enough trouble that he can’t punch his way out of it, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two.

A hard slam plants Angle though and we hit a very lazy looking neck crank. Jones drops an elbow for two, which Cole calls impressive. That would be a vintage low standard. Back up and Angle’s clotheslines just get on Jones’ nerves but the rolling German suplexes work far better. Kurt grabs the Angle Slam and ankle lock but Morgan comes back in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Angle was trying as hard as he could here but it’s clear that Jones is still very limited. If only there was a place they could send him for development of his skills or something like that. The match didn’t have time for Angle to build anything up, but I’m scared to imagine what it might have been if this wasn’t either Angle or Benoit or someone with the energy and skill to pull this off as well as he did.

The beatdown is on until Hardcore Holly makes his, ahem, triumphant return with a chair for the save. Holly wants Lesnar right now but gets no one.

After a break, Holly is still hunting for Lesnar but Paul Heyman threatens to suspend him if he doesn’t calm down. Heyman begs him to leave tonight because he’s not medically cleared until Sunday. Holly eventually leaves and yeah, the fact that it’s Hardcore Holly completely kills what they’re going for here.

Sable and Vince McMahon are looking at the WWE 24 book with pictures of Vince’s dog. Vince isn’t interested because he has a headache but a picture of Undertaker makes him angry. He talks about a dream he had where he was watching maggots eat his dead body but he wound up eating them. Then he couldn’t move and laid there in a stench until they ate him again and again in a loop. Eventually he woke up and smelled the same stench because he had soiled himself. Vince: “What does this mean?” It means that Vince wrote this segment and doesn’t understand why this feud is so bad.

Here’s Jamie Noble to call out Tajiri before Survivor Series. Tajiri actually comes out but the goons, now named as as Akio and Sakoda, follow him for the beatdown. Rey Mysterio runs in for the save though and clears the ring.

Akio/Sakoda vs. Rey Mysterio/Jamie Noble

Joined in progress after a break with Noble slamming Akio before it’s off to Sakoda for some stomping. Mysterio springboards in with a high crossbody to speed things up, only to walk into a hot shot. We hit the front facelock and then a cravate as the new guys are a decent power team, at least for their size. Rey slides between his legs but Akio (who the announcers keep calling Sakada) cuts Tajiri off.

Akio grabs a choke with his knees in Rey’s back but Rey pops up with a headscissors into a reverse DDT for the double knockdown. The hot tag brings in Noble so things can speed up again. Everything breaks down and Akio spinwheel kicks Noble down. The West Coast Pop is broken up though and Tajiri comes in to kick Tajiri in the head, giving Akio the pin. The referee doesn’t even notice that Akio’s feet are underneath the ropes. Fire this man.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world here but Akio and Sakoda aren’t the most thrilling team. Tajiri being built up is a good idea and there’s something to this Noble feud as I want to see Jamie get some revenge. The wrestling wasn’t great though and the ending was a little messy. I do want to see Noble vs. Tajiri more though and that’s the point of the match.

Eddie and Chavo are in the back when a detective comes in. Eddie’s wife’s sister has been in a horrible accident in El Paso so Eddie has to leave. Chavo isn’t happy with this because of their Tag Team Title match tonight. Eddie glares at him and Chavo calms down.

Post break Chavo goes to Paul Heyman, who postpones the title match until Survivor Series. For tonight though, Chavo has to have a handicap match. Shaniqua and the Bashams agree to the idea with Shaniqua accusing Chavo of not having any huevos. The match is made.

The announcers plug the Unscripted book. I remember wanting to read that.

Undertaker is in the graveyard, saying Vince is the one that has to pay. Sunday is Vince’s day of reckoning and he’ll become another victim. Undertaker talks about all the people he’s destroyed but none of them have wanted his wife raped or his children kidnapped. Keep in mind that this is coming from Undertaker, who once kidnapped Vince’s daughter and tried to force her to become his wife in a demonic wedding.

Undertaker shovels dirt into the grave and talks about wanting Vince to suffocate on the thoughts of what he’s done to people over the years. This is said over shots of Vince torturing Stephanie, because somehow, this is still about her. Even when Stephanie isn’t here she drives stories.

Basham Brothers vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo takes Danny to the mat to start as Tazz determines why Eddie is called Latino Heat: He’s Latino and he has heat. An armdrag into some dropkicks have Danny in trouble so Shaniqua gives the Brothers a little whipping for motivation. Chavo kicks Doug in the ribs and dives off the apron onto Danny, followed by a Boston crab back inside. That’s broken up and we hit the double teaming in the corner.

Doug grabs a chinlock as the announcers debate Heyman’s issues with family. The hold goes nowhere so Doug goes up for the dive onto Chavo’s raised foot. Everything breaks down and Chavo hits a tornado DDT to send Doug outside. Shaniqua tries to come in and it’s Twin Magic so Danny can get a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. So in other words it’s the same match as last week but Chavo isn’t as good as Eddie. There’s not enough to this story to keep it going for so many weeks, mainly because the Bashams have no characters other than liking to be whipped by Shaniqua. Chavo is trying but at the end of the day, he’s Chavo Guerrero and working with Eddie. There’s only so much he can do.

Post match Shaniqua kicks Chavo in the face, setting up a double beatdown.

Kurt Angle won’t talk about the fifth member.

Chavo gets treatment as the Bashams laugh from the locker room. IT WAS A RUSE! So now the Bashams and Shaniqua are outsmarting Eddie and Chavo?

Bradshaw vs. A-Train

….oh dear. They fight over a lockup to start until Train clubs him upside the head a few times. Bradshaw sends him to the floor to no avail as Train runs him over back inside. The catapult into the middle rope has Bradshaw in more trouble and we hit a bad sleeper. Bradshaw reverses into one of his own but gets suplexed down. Somehow, that’s enough to keep A-Train down at the same time, mainly because wrestling is weird that way. Bradshaw gets in a dropkick (!) and swinging neckbreaker but charges into an elbow in the corner. The Derailer gets two and it’s the Clothesline to put A-Train away.

Rating: D. Oddly enough I didn’t hate this as they just hit each other really hard for a while. The problem is they did that for over six minutes, which is far longer than these two should be out there. The other problem is Bradshaw. There’s nothing about him (at least in this version) that makes him anything more than a big guy with a hard clothesline. I need something more than that to get invested in.

Angle and Benoit are in the back with Benoit really not liking Angle’s pick for the fifth team member. Whoever it is has made a career out of making them miserable and they can’t be trusted. Angle points out that they feel the same way about each other but sometimes you have to deal with it to reach a common goal. John Cena comes in to say he doesn’t like them either but he’ll team with them to get his hands on Team Lesnar. Benoit threatens Cena and promises to take it out on Angle if things go badly.

Vince is stressed so Sable brings in a priest to relieve some tension. Sable leaves them alone and Vince recaps the situation. The priest starts praying but Vince asks why his eyes are open. Is he that awed by Vince’s presence? Next Vince wants to pray on their knees but that doesn’t work either. The prayer continues and Vince breaks into laughter. See, this prayer needs to be for Undertaker because Vince has heard the calling. Vince cuts a promo on Undertaker and the priest is stunned. As has been the case since it started, this is stupid.

Video on Raw’s matches.

Tazz and Cole run down the blue show matches.

Brock Lesnar/Big Show vs. John Cena/Chris Benoit

Cena and Lesnar start things off and it feels so much more natural to have Cena as a face. Lesnar throws him around without much effort and drives the shoulders in the corner. Some power drives Lesnar into the corner and it’s off to Benoit for the rapid fire kicks to the ribs. A snap suplex gets two but Show comes in to headbutt Cena down without much effort. The fans chant SUBWAY because that passes for clever around here. Show gets in the chokeslam but Benoit pulls Cena to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cena caught in an abdominal stretch and getting suplexed by Brock. Lesnar tries one too many suplexes though (I’m as shocked as you are) and gets taken down, allowing the hot tag to Benoit. A release German suplex sets up the Swan Dive for two with Show making the save. One heck of a clothesline takes Benoit down and it’s back to Show for more tossing. That means more SUBWAY chants as Show sits on Benoit’s chest.

Brock’s chinlock keeps things slow until Benoit chops his way up and grabs another German suplex. The hot tag isn’t seen though and Cena is taken back to the apron, allowing Lesnar to grab a DDT. Benoit finally gets in an enziguri for the real hot tag to Cena and everything breaks down. The Crossface to Lesnar has the referee distracted, allowing Cena to low blow Show and hit him with the chain for the pin.

Rating: D+. Dull match, but the ending was the right idea. Cena is still brand new at the good guy thing and it makes perfect sense to have him act like a villain until he gets used to this new role. He cheated to win here but he’s cheating against bad guys. Once this feud is over, he can become the full on good guy that he’s destined to be.

Overall Rating: D. There’s no way around it: Survivor Series isn’t looking great overall and the blue side is much weaker than its red counterpart. Undertaker vs. Vince is a bad story and the Survivor Series match feels thrown together (when Hardcore Holly and Bradshaw are two of your best options, there’s a major problem). Like, are Angle, Cena and Benoit going after the title after this? They’re certainly not acting like it at the moment. Throw in something like that and see if this gets better. As things are now, things aren’t looking good but maybe they can surprise me. Save us Raw?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

A lot happened at Wrestlemania and some of it deserves extra attention.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/way-down-yonder-wrestlemania/

And everything else.

Overall Thoughts

I’m pleasantly surprised by the card so far. There’s a potentially great show in there, but again the run time is just going to kill it. Thankfully the ramp shouldn’t be quite so long this year, which could legitimately shave a good fifteen minutes off of the show. Some of the matches are classics waiting to happen and if that’s what we get in New Orleans, we’re just that lucky.

Then there’s the elephant in the room with John Cena vs. the Undertaker. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I don’t want to see this match. WWE had their chance to do this match several times (“Wrestlemania XXX”, Wrestlemania XXXI”, “Wrestlemania XXXIII” and probably more) but they chose to go other ways, like giving “Total Divas” a storyline instead. I don’t need to see Undertaker doing this again and it would be nice if he stayed retired.

The ONLY thing I could live with here is a brawl which sees neither coming out ahead. There doesn’t need to be a future match and there doesn’t need to be a match here. Just let it be over and done with while Cena does some stupid antics for part of the night, basically being the unofficial host for the show. But yeah, there’s going to be a match and Cena is likely winning. There’s no way around that and I have no idea why I’m supposed to get excited about ONE MORE FIGHT when there’s probably a three disc DVD set of Undertaker’s ONE MORE FIGHT ready to be made.

Overall, I’m excited, and that’s a nice feeling to have.

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 5, 2003
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and that means things are picking up fast on the blue show. Last week saw most of the Survivor Series match being set up, which may or may not be something that interests you. The big part though: John Cena seems to be turning from the evil side to the good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio

Cena says Rey beating him is like Big Show eating one Cheerio. Oh and Rey is a midget dominatrix. The fans love Cena’s jokes and give him a CENA chant as the turn is really starting to click. Cena drops to his knees to start and then bails when certain references are made. A hard shoulder works a bit better for Cena and he breaks up a springboard with a hard right hand. We hit the chinlock back inside but Rey fights up with the sitout bulldog for two. The springboard seated senton gets the same but Cena breaks up a top rope dive with a low blow. An FU is good for the pin.

Rating: C. Cena winning is the right call here as they’re doing something with him and having him lose to Rey would have made him lose some steam as they head into Survivor Series. It’s not like Mysterio needs to win every match so everything is fine here, especially with Cena getting a nice boost.

Post match here’s Team Lesnar, complete with Paul Heyman. Paul likes the idea of Cena taking things like that win, but tonight he’s going to give Cena something. Not a title like he has to earn, but the fifth spot on Team Lesnar at Survivor Series. Actually hang on a second though because no one tells him what to do. Besides, he doesn’t fit in on Team Sasquatch. Cue A-Train from behind to beat Cena down with the rest of the team coming in to join the attack. Lesnar cracks him over the head with a chair and Cena is done.

I know he cheated to do it, but having Cena win makes this better. Today, WWE would do this after he lost a nothing match and then wonder why the angle does nothing. It’s such a logical detail but for some reason it tends to elude WWE time after time, which gets very annoying in a hurry.

Post break, Heyman gives A-Train the fifth spot.

We recap everything falling apart for Eddie Guerrero. Break him down so you can build him up.

Chavo Guerrero tells Eddie that he can’t be out there for Eddie’s handicap match against the Bashams. Eddie needs to do this himself because he’s been the one who caused all of these issues.

Big Show vs. Bradshaw

Non-title. Bradshaw wastes no time in hammering away, just like the fans waste no time in calling this boring. A big boot puts Big Show on the floor and it’s Bradshaw hammering away even more as they get back in. Show kicks him in the face to take over though and the pace gets much slower. Some headbutts have Bradshaw in more trouble as Cole talks about how heavy Team Lesnar is. Bradshaw knees him in the face and takes it outside again with a hard whip sending Show into the barricade. Back in and a chokeslam ends Bradshaw in a hurry. It’s that fast.

Rating: D. There’s not much else that these two are going to do and the short time helped as much as it could. Bradshaw as a singles guy isn’t working very well when it’s just APA Bradshaw as a singles wrestler, doing exactly the same thing. You can only rip of Stan Hansen so many times and it’s not exactly thrilling stuff with Bradshaw on his own.

Heyman tells Torrie that he’s in charge now, backs her against the wall, and tells her she’s going to do this his way.

Kurt Angle is upset that Faarooq is officially out of Survivor Series. Chris Benoit tells him to calm down when Torrie comes in to say Heyman is sending them a message. Tonight it’s Benoit/Angle vs. Team Lesnar (minus Show).

We get a sitdown interview with Undertaker, who hates Vince for costing him the title. Therefore, Vince must be destroyed. Vince doesn’t respect the wrestlers and that’s not cool with Undertaker, so a beating has to take place. You have to be held accountable for your actions and that’s what Vince has waiting on him at Survivor Series.

Ernest Miller is still coming.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Basham Brothers

If Eddie wins, he and Chavo get a title shot next week. Eddie stomps away at Danny to start but Danny grabs a pumphandle, with a hard thrust as Eddie is bent over in front of him. That’s not cool with Eddie or the crowd for that matter as they don’t really react to it. Something like a reverse Michinoku Driver gives Doug two but Eddie walks the ropes for a hurricanrana. A slingshot dive drops Doug but Shaniqua kicks Eddie in the face to cut him off again. The lazy announcers don’t even call her an Amazon this time.

A double slingshot suplex puts Eddie down for two and we hit the chinlock. Eddie gets out with a jumping jawbreaker and avoids a top rope legdrop (with some serious height). Backdrops a go-go give Eddie some momentum and he takes them down at the same time. It’s frog splash time but Eddie has to deal with Shaniqua, allowing the Twin Magic switch. Not that it matters as Eddie steals Shaniqua’s whip and gives the ref a spank. Danny gets caught with the whip and while defending himself, gets rolled up to give Eddie the fluke pin.

Rating: C-. I’m over the Bashams’ “comedy” and having them lose in a handicap match wasn’t the best idea in the world (though it makes Eddie look great again, which is the bigger priority). This sets up the title match, and you can almost bet on Los Guerreros losing to further their split, which should help Eddie in the long run.

Post match, Eddie and Chavo are all cool again and leave in the low rider.

Here’s Vince to talk about the buried alive match hanging over his head like the Sword of Damocles. Vince wants one more chance and asks for everyone to lower their heads and close their eyes for an invocation. He prays for forgiveness for what he has to do but he’s been chosen to destroy the Undertaker. As usual, I have no idea why this is supposed to be the top feud.

Hardcore Holly is still on his way back.

Tajiri/Nunzio vs. Jamie Noble/Ultimo Dragon

Noble is making a surprise return and goes charging after Tajiri but gets dropped by Nunzio. It’s quickly off to Dragon for the strikes to Nunzio, including the series of rapid fire kicks for two. Tajiri comes in and gets sent to the floor with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. His still unnamed goons offer a distraction though and Nunzio gets in a cheap shot to take over again.

The Sicilian Slice gets two on Dragon and the stomping continues. Back up and Nunzio tries a superplex but gets reversed into a faceplant for a double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Noble but he gets caught in the springboard flying armbar (Arrivederchi). Tajiri misses the handspring elbow though and gets rolled up to give Noble the pin.

Rating: C+. The cruiserweights are fine and this face turn from Noble has been really well done. I want to see him beat Tajiri up for what was done to Nidia and that means the story has been working. It’s not going to lead anywhere because it’s a cruiserweight match but at least we’re getting a nice little story in the meantime.

Survivor Series rundown, with Noble vs. Tajiri for the title announced.

We recap the Cena beatdown, just after the announcers were wondering who would be Angle’s fifth man.

Brock Lesnar/A-Train/Nathan Jones/Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Brock sits in on commentary to start. Jones shoves Angle into the corner as Brock brags about how long Jones was in prison. A gorilla press is countered and Angle dropkicks the knee, allowing the tag to Benoit. Morgan tosses Benoit again, which Lesnar compares to throwing bales of hay on the farm. Lesnar: “I think he’s a farm kid.” Tazz: “He’s from Fairfield, Connecticut.” Lesnar: “They got farms up there!”

It’s back to Angle, who avoids a charge to send Morgan face first into the middle turnbuckle. A-Train comes in and bearhugs Benoit as Lesnar keeps listing off stats. Back from a break with A-Train running Benoit over again and throwing him outside. That’s enough to get Lesnar off of commentary and come in for some shots to Benoit’s back. A delayed fisherman’s suplex gives Brock two as the announcers declare Team Angle done because of how much Team Brock weighs. So not only is Cole Art Donovan’s dream commentator, but apparently wrestling really doesn’t matter in WWE.

Morgan grabs a bearhug of his own before handing it off to A-Train, who is taken down with a German suplex. The hot tag brings in Angle and it’s time for the rolling German suplexes. An Angle Slam drops Morgan and another one gets rid of Brock as the straps come down. Kurt gets the ankle lock on Lesnar while Benoit Crossfaces A-Train, drawing in Big Show for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not terrible but the ending was pretty obvious. You’re not going to have most of THE GREATEST TEAM EVER losing ten days before Survivor Series, even if it’s to two of the best in the world. Jones and Morgan were kept to a minimum here and that’s a good thing. Let them get their feet wet in the next week before going into one of the biggest pay per views of the year. It’s totally logical.

Bradshaw runs in to clothesline Show but Morgan and Jones take him down. Cue Cena with a chair to clean half of the house until a Derailer cuts him off. Lesnar gets the chair and decks everyone, leaving Team Lesnar to stand really tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re doing everything they can with this Survivor Series match but it’s turned into Big Show/Lesnar vs. Cena/Angle/Benoit and that’s not the most exciting thing in the world. As a show, this was fine and advanced the stories, but you have to remember which stories are being advanced and that brings things back down. Undertaker vs. Vince is a terrible main event and I’m having trouble remembering that Heyman is even running things at the moment. Not a bad show, but Survivor Series is looking bleak for the blue team.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: April 5, 2018
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph

I’m not sure what to expect from a Main Event designed to make me want to see Wrestlemania. Odds are there’s going to be some time spent on original matches between people who won’t even make it into the battle royals, but that’s never stopped this show before. This should be recap heavy so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali vs. Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari

Did I put in 205 Live by mistake? Of note, all of their name graphics point out that they are cruiserweights. Not 205 Live wrestlers, but cruiserweights. Nese whips Ali around to start but gets caught with a spinwheel kick for two. Daivari comes in and gets kicked in the face by Alexander for the same but the villains finally use some double teaming to send Ali face first into the apron.

Some stomping sets up a waistlock, followed by a running forearm for two. Another kick to the head allows the hot tag to Alexander though and it’s time to speed things up. Everything breaks down and a tornado DDT sets up the Lumbar Check to put Nese away at 5:45.

Rating: C-. Not enough time to do much here but well done on trying to use the Main Event time to actually set something up for Wrestlemania. It’s not much of a match and that’s all you could have expected, but at least they did something here. Ali vs. Alexander should be a rocking match too.

Quick clip of Cena challenging Undertaker from Raw.

Long recap of Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open the show and shockingly enough, the fans seem into him. He wastes no time in bringing out Shane McMahon for the first time in a few weeks. Shane praises Bryan for having the courage to come back and get in this ring despite everyone telling him it would never happen. He brings up having diverticulitis and a hernia thanks to Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn but just like Bryan, he’s medically cleared for Sunday.

Bryan has to apologize to Shane though, because Shane was right about Owens and Zayn all along. Shane says he was a little stubborn over the last six months. Bryan: “YOU? STUBBORN? NO!” Bryan wants a hug but Shane offers a handshake. That’s not working because they shook hands a few minutes ago and the people of Nashville want a HUG. The fans finally get their wish and Shane promises to get rid of Owens and Zayn once and for all.

From later in the night.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn come through the crowd (with Owens in a KO-MANIA III shirt, thankfully continuing the trend of using the old Wrestlemania logos) onto the announcers’ table. No one is stopping them tonight so they’ve got some apologies of their own. Sami apologizes to Birdie and Brie Danielson for what’s going to happen to Bryan. A YOU DESERVE IT chant started by Sami doesn’t quite catch on but the mic is cut off anyway. Shane and Bryan come out, sending Owens and Zayn bailing into the crowd. Bryan says this is the last time they’ll be on Smackdown and Shane starts the Goodbye Song.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Anderson and Gallows vs. Revival

Remember a year ago at the Raw after Wrestlemania when SAY YEAH got a huge reaction? WWE certainly doesn’t. Anderson headlocks Dawson to start but a blind tag….doesn’t do much good for Dawson, who gets armdragged down for his efforts. Gallows comes in and charges into a knee and everything breaks down in a hurry. Revival gets sent outside and we take a break. Back with the Magic Killer being broken up and the Shatter Machine ending Gallows at 6:21. Too short to rate of course and not enough time to mean anything in the first place.

We see the end of the Stephanie McMahon/HHH/Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey sitdown on Monday. Rousey’s line about making sure Stephanie can still sign her checks was great.

From Raw.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar with wrestlers guarding the entrance. Heyman doesn’t think much of Angle’s actions tonight, including failing as Rousey’s mentor. We hear about how this Sunday is a battle between the two men who have defeated Undertaker at Wrestlemania. People think that this is going to be Roman Reigns’ coronation and Heyman respects everything about Lesnar.

However, this Sunday, Lesnar is going to pin Reigns 1-2-3 after an F5. Should an act of God happen though and Reigns win, Heyman and Lesnar will never appear on Raw again. If they’re leaving though, Brock will say goodbye from UFC but Heyman needs to say something now. You know this aura that Heyman has built up since 2002 of Lesnar being above everyone else and that no one is worthy of polishing his boots? It’s all true, because no one in the locker room can hold his jock, let alone take his title.

If Reigns thinks he’s having a victory party, he’s going to have to go home to his family on Sunday night to say he got beat by Brock Lesnar. Heyman: “Roman Reigns, you’re just Brock Lesnar’s b****.” That’s enough to bring out Reigns, who asks why the full time talent is protecting Lesnar.

They give Reigns a path and it’s time for the in-ring staredown. The fans chant for Roman (remember he played college football in this town) but Lesnar bails to the floor. Lesnar grabs a chair but it gets Superman Punched into his face. Two more have Brock in trouble and a third puts him down. Reigns picks up the title and is promptly F5’d to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a good example of “it was what it was”. The show was all about setting up Wrestlemania and it did that well enough, but it’s not like there was anything of note going on. It was mainly recaps and hype videos and really, that’s all it should have been. I’m excited for the show, but there’s a lot that could go wrong. This did its job well enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 2, 2018
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

Should he do something? Over the last few weeks, John Cena has come off as a complete jerk to Undertaker, basically demanding that Undertaker come out of what seems to be retirement to face him. Why would Undertaker do this? Well apparently because the people want to see it and nearly thirty years in WWE isn’t enough to make them happy. Or so Cena says. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Coach in the ring to emcee a sitdown between Stephanie McMahon (Who dances to the ring and looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world. I know she’s the boss and all that jazz, but could you PLEASE look at least a little worried? It’s Ronda Rousey, not Dana Brooke. This feels like Hollywood Hogan coming to the ring at Starrcade 1997 and that’s not a good thing), HHH, Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey.

Stephanie mocks the fans for cheering for Rousey and HHH calls Angle’s third I (intelligence) into question. Rousey should be the biggest signing WWE could ever have and Angle is giving her a match on the biggest stage of them all. This is a whopper even for Angle and HHH needs to know why. Rousey cuts Angle off and says she’d like to know too. Why did they sign her under ulterior motives?

Stephanie says Rousey doesn’t quite get how it works around here and promises to teach her the right way after she’s broken down on Sunday. Rousey knows the format and wants her answer so Stephanie says the two of them work for her. Why did Angle cost Rousey (HHH: “And WWE. Thanks Kurt.”) millions of dollars. Angle says she’s RONDA FREAKING ROUSEY and says she’ll make Stephanie tap on Sunday.

HHH laughs it off and we get some questions from Twitter, mainly asking how big this is. Stephanie promises to give Rousey a loss in her first WWE match. Rousey asks if Stephanie is right or left handed. Stephanie: “I’m a rightie.” Rousey: “Good. I just want to make sure you can still sign my checks after I rip your arm off.”

They go for the photo op and a brawl is imminent but HHH breaks it up. Rousey chokes him down but Stephanie slowly slams her through a table. Stephanie brought the annoying here but Rousey’s comeback line (which she stumbled through at the end) wasn’t being topped. If Stephanie doesn’t tap on Sunday though (or at least lose), I don’t know what to tell you.

Bayley vs. Sonya Deville

Bayley wastes no time with a crossbody for two before Sonya goes after the arm. That earns her a takedown out of the corner but Sonya stomps on Bayley to take us to a break. Back with Bayley in a chinlock but fighting back as you might have expected. Bayley knocks her into the corner and goes up top for a high crossbody and no cover. Even Coach wants to know why that wasn’t a cover. Bayley’s running knee to the head gets two and Sonya bails to the floor. That’s not happening as Bayley throws her back in and finishes with a rollup at 9:55.

Rating: D+. Deville isn’t the most interesting character, especially now that you have Rousey as the real MMA woman on the roster. She’s fine in spots like this though and that makes for some perfectly acceptable performances. Bayley was smart for once here by throwing Sonya back in instead of letting her get regrouped with Absolution, meaning her character is actually changing a bit.

Post match the beatdown is on with Sasha Banks running in for the save. Sasha says she wants her hand raised but Bayley will have none of it. A brawl breaks out and Absolution comes back in to beat them both down.

We get a By the Numbers video on Asuka’s streak. This was done before but the numbers are updated here.

265 Wins

0 Losses

35 Women

4 Continents represented

11 Countries represented

8 Former champions submitted

523 Days as NXT Women’s Champion

7^th Longest Reign of all time

1^st Woman to be a Survivor Series sole survivor and win a Royal Rumble

29 Women defeated in the Royal Rumble

15 Former Women’s Champions in the Rumble

904 Days undefeated

Congratulations to Miz and Maryse’s daughter.

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Miz is on commentary as they fight over wristlocks to start. With no one being able to get an advantage, Miz gives a heartfelt speech about how he’s main evented Wrestlemania and won the WWE World Title, but watching his daughter being born was the greatest moment of his life. He held her in his arms and heard her cry and then stop crying. Miz wants her to grow up and be able to be proud of her daddy because having a baby changes people. If Miz isn’t a face off that speech, he’s never going to be again. That was very sweet to hear.

Anyway it’s a standoff as we take an early break. Back with Cole asking Miz if the birth of his daughter is going to make him change his in-ring style. Miz seems to say that it will and promises to give the performance of a lifetime on Sunday. Rollins and Balor slug it out until Seth’s Blockbuster gets two. We hit a chinlock on Balor and get a commercial for AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (good idea actually).

Back (from a split screen) with Balor fighting up and hitting the running forearms to the head. Balor’s Eye of the Hurricane gets two but Rollins sends him outside for a big suicide dive and we take another break. Back with Rollins superkicking Balor’s head off for two as the fans think this is awesome. Rollins gets kicked in the face and the Coup de Grace is loaded up, only to have Rollins hit his superplex.

Balor counters that into a small package for two, followed by Seth’s Wind-Up knee for the same. Rollins’ frog splash hits knees and Balor small packages him for two as the fans are WAY into this. They head outside with Rollins loading up the shoulder destroying Buckle Bomb. That’s countered as well and they head back in with a wicked Stomp finishing Balor at 22:03.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah they were feeling it here but above all else, you can’t ignore Miz’s heartfelt talks about his daughter. She’s only six days old at this point and of course his heart is going to be even more touched than ever. That’s the kind of thing that can get Miz cheered, or at least add another layer to his character. The match rocked as these two have some excellent chemistry together, especially in this kind of a hard hitting, back and forth match.

We recap the opening segment.

Announced for the Kickoff Show: both battle royals and the Cruiserweight Title match.

Long video on Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns, starting with Brock winning the title last year at Wrestlemania, then skipping about eleven months to Reigns winning the Elimination Chamber and the ensuing beatdowns at Brock’s hands.

Kurt Angle runs into Paul Heyman in the back and asks him not to cause any more drama tonight as he’s worried about Lesnar’s well being. Heyman finds this hilarious but promises to keep it civil tonight.

Here’s the Bar to say they don’t care who Braun Strowman has as a partner. At some point he has to tag them in and that means they can retain the titles. Cue Strowman, to say he doesn’t play well with others. He has to have a partner though and that means he’s got one. That partner is someone in the back and the partner doesn’t appreciate what they were saying.

The Bar wants the partner to come say it to their face. Strowman agrees, but only if the partner can have a match with one of them. Sheamus says it’s on so Strowman goes to get the partner, who is just like him. Strowman leaves and comes back….in a white shirt and glasses. Strowman: “My brother is Braun. I’m BRAINS!”

Brains Strowman vs. Cesaro

The Bar goes after Strowman, who takes off the glasses to reveal THE RUSE! A Brogue Kick rocks Braun but he shoves both of them away. The Bar bails and I don’t think we’re having a match. No match. That was an actually funny idea, making me think it must be Wrestlemania season.

Goldust is ready for the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal but Matt Hardy interrupts him to say that Argos of Ancient Greece and even Goliath himself have been training him to win the battle royal in honor of Humongous Wonder #8. Tonight, Goldust is scheduled for DELETION!

Matt Hardy vs. Goldust

Joined in progress with Matt applauding Goldust and getting punched in the face for his efforts. A spinebuster gives Goldust two and we hit a chinlock. Back up and Matt gets two off the Side Effect but Goldust gets the same off a powerslam. The first Twist of Fate doesn’t work but the second attempt ends Goldust at 3:09.

Rating: D. Just a way to give Matt some momentum (the most valuable thing in WWE anymore) going into the battle royal. The fact that Goldust is still going mostly strong all these years later is nothing short of amazing. He’s awesome at staying solid in the ring and it makes for some impressive performances. Matt could wind up winning the battle royal and it wouldn’t be a big surprise.

Post match Matt goes to the trophy and says PROCURE over and over.

Alexa Bliss and Mickie James suggest Nia Jax is fat and ugly. This needs to be the squashiest squash of all squashifications on Sunday.

Here’s John Cena to say he was wrong because there’s no Undertaker. He’s done everything he could to get Undertaker to DO SOMETHING. That’s not going to get Cena to put his head down though because he won’t walk into New Orleans with his head down. Cena isn’t going to have a match because Cena is going to Wrestlemania as a fan. Earlier today, Cole said go enter the Battle Royal or be Strowman’s partner or be in a triple threat match.

That won’t happen because Cena has lost in his last five pay per view matches. After all that, he would be taking a spot from a full time WWE superstar who has worked hard to earn it. That’s so dumb that I’m not even going to touch it so we’ll move on to Cena wanting one last chance. A match vs. Undertaker will be a match where neither is held back. Now Cena will go to Wrestlemania as a fan and he’s proud of it. He can’t wait to see people like Rollins and Bryan and Rusev and Elias perform on the grandest stage of them all.

Cena offers some praise to the women on the show because success isn’t determined by gender. However, there’s one more thing about Undertaker. The fans did what they could to get Undertaker to Wrestlemania but Cena thinks the fans here in Atlanta haven’t tried yet. Cena: “I don’t think you guys can be loud enough.” He says the cheering here sounds like a Dallas warmup. If they want the lightning they need to be the thunder so let him hear it all the way in Death Valley.

The fans chant for Undertaker but get nothing. Cena says that as soon as you ignore the people, you’re a dead man walking. Now it’s clear that Undertaker left his hat in the ring and his balls at home. That gets nothing either so Cena walks away with no response. Are they really waiting for Sunday to announce this? Because that would be really stupid.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Roman Reigns is in the back when Angle comes in. Angle asks him to leave to keep the peace tonight but Reigns is going to listen to what Heyman says. Roman doesn’t think much of Angle’s fear.

Here’s Elias to say Sunday will be the performance of a lifetime but tonight he’s stuck in this horrible city. He’d rather be in a town that matters but it’s time for a song….which is quickly cut off. They never said what Elias will be doing.

Elias vs. Heath Slater

Elias pounds him down to start and the fans are all behind Slater. After some stomping, Drift Away ends Slater at 1:12.

Strowman is in the back when he runs into Curt Hawkins in a PICK ME BRAUN shirt. Braun asks about Hawkins’ win/loss record and throws him through a wall. Strowman: “There’s your big break.” I’m glad they acknowledged Hawkins as an option.

Rundown of the Wrestlemania Week events.

Alexa Bliss/Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke/Asuka

Dana and Alexa start things off with Brooke throwing her into a fireman’s carry to freak Bliss out a bit. The fans want Asuka but settle for Mickie hitting Brooke in the face. A takedown gives Dana a breather and we take an abrupt break. Back with Bliss holding Brooke in a chinlock but getting suplexed down for a breather. That’s enough for the hot tag to Asuka and it’s time to clean house in short order. Asuka kicks away but gets kicked in the face, giving Mickie two twice in a row. Not that it matters as the Asuka Lock makes Mickie tap at 10:28.

Rating: D. The weird thing is they’ve built up a pretty nice rivalry between Asuka and Bliss despite having no interest in actually doing the match right now. Nia vs. Bliss is going to be a lot of fun if they do it right but I’m not sure what the point is in keeping Asuka on Raw right now. That being said, she’s getting some exposure and that’s a good thing for her going into a huge match.

Post match the double beatdown is on but here’s Nia for the save. She gets Bliss by the hair but Mickie makes the save and takes the beating for her.

Heyman and Lesnar assure Angle that nothing will go wrong.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar with wrestlers guarding the entrance. Heyman doesn’t think much of Angle’s actions tonight, including failing as Rousey’s mentor. We hear about how this Sunday is a battle between the two men who have defeated Undertaker at Wrestlemania. People think that this is going to be Roman Reigns’ coronation and Heyman respects everything about Lesnar.

However, this Sunday, Lesnar is going to pin Reigns 1-2-3 after an F5. Should an act of God happen though and Reigns win, Heyman and Lesnar will never appear on Raw again. If they’re leaving though, Brock will say goodbye from UFC but Heyman needs to say something now. You know this aura that Heyman has built up since 2002 of Lesnar being above everyone else and that no one is worthy of polishing his boots? It’s all true, because no one in the locker room can hold his jock, let alone take his title.

If Reigns thinks he’s having a victory party, he’s going to have to go home to his family on Sunday night to say he got beat by Brock Lesnar. Heyman: “Roman Reigns, you’re just Brock Lesnar’s b****.” That’s enough to bring out Reigns, who asks why the full time talent is protecting Lesnar. They give Reigns a path and it’s time for the in-ring staredown. The fans chant for Roman (remember he played college football in this town) but Lesnar bails to the floor. Lesnar grabs a chair but it gets Superman Punched into his face. Two more have Brock in trouble and a third puts him down. Reigns picks up the title and is promptly F5’d to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a mixed bag but above all else, it got the job done by making me more interested in some stuff for Sunday. Reigns vs. Lesnar has me intrigued, mainly because they didn’t push the match down our throats this year. It’s not something I’m dying to see but it should be a good power brawl with a big ending. The rest of the show was good enough to make me care about Sunday and that makes this week a success. Of course none of that matters if Sunday is a bomb (which it shouldn’t be) but this week worked for the most part.

Results

Bayley b. Sonya Deville – Rollup

Seth Rollins b. Finn Balor – The Stomp

Matt Hardy b. Goldust – Twist of Fate

Elias b. Heath Slater – Drift Away

Dana Brooke/Asuka b. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James – Asuka Lock to James

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 30, 2003
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The Heyman Era has its first full night this week and you can imagine that Vince McMahon isn’t all that happy with him. Last week’s show ended with Undertaker managing to defeat Big Show and Brock Lesnar in the same match. Naturally he pinned them both in one match because wins and losses don’t matter to champions in WWE. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s big story with Heyman becoming GM and Undertaker overcoming the odds to set up his Buried Alive match at Survivor Series. It’s amazing how much younger and energetic (and less bloated) Heyman looks here. This eats up over four minutes.

Opening sequence.

At Survivor Series: Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar.

A-Train/John Cena vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Rematch from last week where Angle and Benoit got in a fight. Before the match, Cena thinks Angle and Benoit are breaking up but then they were kissing and making up. Oh and he and A-Train are Han Solo and a Wookie. The chicks dig that about A-Train though. Benoit headlocks Cena to start as the announcers talk about who might be on which Survivor Series team.

A hiptoss sends Cena into the corner and it’s off to Angle to beat on him even more. A-Train comes in and gets suplexed, followed by a backdrop to Cena. That’s enough of a distraction for A-Train to blast Cena with a clothesline, followed by a Vader Bomb for two as the pace picks up a little bit. Something like a Polish Hammer gives Cena two (there’s a move that could come back) and the big clothesline puts Angle down again.

A DDT allows the hot tag to Benoit who starts cleaning house with a running forearm to A-Train. Benoit grabs the German suplex but the Swan Dive only hits mat. Angle is right back in with an Angle Slam to A-Train, only to walk into an FU. Not that it matters as Benoit rolls the German suplexes on A-Train, followed by the Swan Dive for the pin. How often do you see that get a clean fall?

Rating: C. This was entertaining and got a little bit of time to make things that much better. A-Train is good in the role of enforcer and Cena is getting better in the ring. You can see a lot of the Survivor Series teams from here and that makes for some fun times. They could put together a good match and if the build works as well, so be it.

Post match Cena yells at A-Train and gets slapped so Cena kicks him low. An FU plants A-Train and I think the face turn has begun.

Vince rips into Heyman for screwing everything up last week and says there won’t be a Buried Alive match because there won’t be an Undertaker at Survivor Series. Heyman says that’s going to be a problem because he’s given Undertaker time off until Survivor Series. The following is a direct quote.

Vince: “This is what’s gonna happen. Terrorists are going to burn down the Undertaker’s house. His children are going to be kidnapped. His wife, she’s gonna be raped by a motorcycle gang, right in front of him. That’s the plan I want implemented!” BUT REMEMBER! THE MOST DASTARDLY THING VINCE EVER DID WAS CLOTHESLINE AND BODY SLAM STEPHANIE! Vince wants all this done in fifteen minutes or he’s going to strangle Heyman to death in the arena.

Torrie Wilson is getting ready for a Trick or Treat contest and sizes up some of her options. Naturally she just got out of the shower and is in a towel.

Angle asks Benoit to be on his team and Chris accepts. They are NOT friends though.

Heyman goes to see Vince and tells him he didn’t go through with any part of Vince’s plan. Good for him to not be in on the terroristic threats and various other crimes. Vince isn’t happy and promises to strangle Heyman to death and THEN fire him. Paul asks why Vince has sunk this low. He used to go toe to toe with Steve Austin and now he’s happy with slapping around Paul Heyman, Zach Gowen and Stephanie McMahon? Heyman wants the ruthless Vince who destroyed WCW and stared down the federal government. We get the big inspirational speech and Vince seems to buy it.

The announcers want to know what’s going on.

Video on the recent house show tour. Are they running short tonight and needing to fill time?

Ultimate Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio

Tajiri sits in on commentary with his bodyguards at his side. Rey’s tights are rather odd as he has his usual blue/green tights but what looks to be purple cutoff jean shorts over top of them. A spinning springboard crossbody gets two on Dragon as Tajiri is rather tight lipped about anything Cole asks him. He does apologize for misting Nidia but says she’s not nice. Rey dropkicks the knee out and the sitout bulldog is good for two. Dragon backdrops him over the top to avoid the 619 and kicks him out of the air for good measure. The ref gets bumped and Tajiri kicks Rey (behind Dragon’s back) for the pin. Dragon is confused.

Post match Tajiri and the goons get in with Tajiri bowing to Dragon, who just shrugs and leaves.

Big Show and Brock Lesnar bicker about last week’s loss. A production assistant comes in to say Heyman wants to see Lesnar in the ring. Show: “That can’t be good.”

Here’s Heyman, flanked by Nathan Jones and another giant. Heyman introduces Jones as someone who is feared on several continents and was given bad advice by Undertaker. His fellow monster is Matt Morgan, meaning Heyman has scooped both Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff because Morgan will dominate everyone put in front of him. With the two of them guarding him, Heyman wants Lesnar here right now.

Cue Brock with a smile on his face and telling Paul to shut up. Brock isn’t dumb enough to get in there with those two monsters but Heyman wants to talk business. That’s cool with Lesnar but he brings out Big Show just in case. Lesnar still hates Heyman’s guts, but if he wants to talk business then it’s another thing. Heyman has named Lesnar a captain at Survivor Series and he’s already given Brock three team members: Big Show, Jones and Morgan. There are two other men who want to be the last member of the team, so tonight it’s Big Show/Lesnar vs. the APA. Heyman says to trust his greed, which seems to work for Brock.

Orlando Jordan and Paul London are playing Smackdown vs. Raw when Dawn Marie comes in to show off her costume. They seem pleased and go back to the game.

Hardcore Holly is still coming back.

Funaki, in an afro and loud jacket, is the emcee for the Trick or Treat contest. Torrie is a sexy bunny (complete with carrots) and Dawn is Wonder Woman (a required costume). They both get to present their costumes and of course Torrie wins, despite wearing a bit more than she usually does. Next up is bobbing for apples in chocolate with Dawn covering herself in said chocolate and taking her top off. Tazz says that’s the treat so let’s show Funaki the trick. Torrie shoves Tazz into the chocolate. Was this supposed to be funny? The costumes looked good but the “comedy”….not so much.

Ernest Miller is coming. WHY???

Brock offers Cena the last spot on the team but doesn’t get an answer.

Tazz, still covered in chocolate, hugs Cole.

Chavo Guerrero reminds Eddie of his recent losses. He’s sinking low again, like when he was on drugs and alcohol. What is with the writing on this show tonight?

We recap Eddie’s losses. Can we get a match anytime soon?

Here’s a depressed Eddie, on foot, for a chat as the lack of wrestling continues. Chavo wanted a public apology for Eddie losing two titles in a week. It’s true that Eddie let people down, including la familia. Eddie apologizes in Spanish and says what Chavo told him hurt. He’s been fighting his addictions for a long time and it’s life for him instead of a game. A fan says Eddie sucks and Eddie agrees with him. Why did Chavo have to bring that up?

Eddie talks about his character being defined by how he picks himself up after being knocked down. A smile creeps onto his face and Eddie says he’s going to fight for Chavo and his raza. Cue Shaniqua with the Tag Team Titles. Eddie: “A mamacita wannabe!” It’s a ruse so the Bashams can come in for a beatdown but Eddie fights all of them off. Danny breaks up a frog splash attempt though and Eddie gets beaten down. Way to use the energy from that really good promo guys. Chavo FINALLY comes in for the save.

Post break Eddie rants to Heyman about wanting the Bashams so he gets them next week….in a handicap match. You know, like last week. Eddie freaks out.

Angle announces the rest of his team: the APA and Bob Holly. And we’re supposed to pay to see those three against Jones and Morgan?

The announcers mess with the chocolate some more.

Survivor Series rundown.

Since we haven’t talked enough yet, Undertaker has a sitdown interview to talk about why he picked Vince. Sometimes you have to take beatings to get what you want but Big Show and Lesnar will get what’s coming to them later. Undertaker wants the title back so he has to get rid of Vince to get him there. Vince has dug his own grave.

Big Show/Brock Lesnar vs. APA

Yep, it’s your main event. Brock and Bradshaw start things off with the champ throwing him into the corner without much effort. Bradshaw gets in a shoulder but it’s off to Show to run him over again. A side slam and headbutt have Bradshaw rocked even more as this is one sided so far. Faarooq comes in for some better results, including charging at Show and clearly pulling up before hitting a shoulder. Show boots him in the face as everything breaks down. A chair to Faarooq’s back is enough for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Nothing match here but you can imagine the post match angle that it was there to allow. The APA just doesn’t matter in 2003 and there’s really no hiding it anymore. They used to be good but Faarooq is too old and it’s getting harder for them to find ways around it. There was nothing to see here and that was the planned idea.

Post match Lesnar and Show destroy Faarooq’s leg with a chair. Bradshaw gets chaired down as well but it’s Benoit and Angle coming in for the save. A double submission goes on but Morgan and Jones run in for the beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Total wrestling time on this show: 12:27. Now I can live with a show with very little wrestling if the rest is good but remember what we had on this show. We went from Vince wanting to have Undertaker’s wife raped to Nathan Jones/Matt Morgan being presented as main eventers to a costume contest with Tazz being shoved into chocolate to a speech about overcoming addictions to Bob Holly being presented as a main eventer. This was horrible and I don’t know if Vince was preoccupied with the wedding or something else but it was a complete mess with almost nothing of value in two hours.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: March 29, 2018
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph

This could be one of the more important Main Events of the year as they can do a pretty hard sale of Wrestlemania with so few shows left to go before Wrestlemania. There was some big stuff this week and that means it’s time to really crank things up. Oh and the cruiserweight tag match. Never forget about that. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Titus Worldwide vs. The Revival

Wilder and Apollo start things off but we’re at a four way staredown less than thirty seconds in. Dawson comes in and gets backdropped for his efforts, allowing the tag to Titus. It’s already back to Wilder and a running clothesline gives Apollo two. Apollo gets elbowed down in the corner though and Dawson grabs a waistlock. That goes into a chinlock and it’s exactly what you would expect to follow that hold. Wilder gets powerslammed and the hot tag brings in Titus to clean house. Not that it matters as the Shatter Machine ends Titus at 5:52.

Rating: D. This was lame even by Main Event standards with Titus Worldwide already losing a lot of its limited steam. The same is true of the Revival, who hasn’t done much in recent weeks. Having them thrown into the battle royal isn’t a good sign for them either, but at least they’re not being completely buried.

From Raw.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to open things up. Heyman recaps the attack on Roman Reigns last week and of course we see some clips. As it turns out, Reigns’ suspension is lifted but he’s not here tonight. Heyman goes over the Samoan wrestling family raising Roman to be a star and a champion. What they didn’t raise him to be is a man.

Reigns was the one saying he was here every single week no matter what but he’s not here tonight. Maybe Reigns should have found three MMA students, dressed them up like US Marshals and beaten the heck out of them before starting a fight with Lesnar. Reigns isn’t man enough to do that though, nor is he man enough to show up here and take another beating from Brock.

Heyman loads up the end but Reigns is in the crowd. He comes out swinging with a chair and gets in a few shots but Brock runs him over. A HARD shot to the face with the steps puts Reigns down and Brock lays him out with the chair. Brock goes to leave but comes back with an F5 onto the steps. Reigns is left laying, again. The story they’re telling here is good, but Reigns not even missing a single show isn’t helping. That and the fans don’t want to cheer for Reigns and there isn’t much of a way around that problem.

We look at Daniel Bryan’s return announcement and beatdown at the hands of Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat on the stage. He loves being in Pittsburgh because he’s cleared to be back in the ring. However, tonight he has a job to do as General Manager. Bryan is willing to give Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn one more chance: in a tag match against Shane McMahon and himself at Wrestlemania. Shane should be back in time for Wrestlemania, so we have some stipulations. If Owens and Zayn lose, they stay fired. If they win, they’re back on Smackdown Live.

Bryan talks about opportunities, like the ones he’s given Owens and Zayn. He’s given them those opportunities because the two of them have always been there for him, whether it’s as a partner or if he needed a bed to sleep in. Bryan has a bunch of responsibilities as General Manager like going to meetings, filling out paperwork and wearing these blazers (CM Punk would not approve).

He’s sick of all of them because he fought for three years to get this spot. Owens and Zayn have held him back and now, it’s time for him to fight at Wrestlemania. Bryan goes on a rant about how this isn’t the Bryan on a disabled list or the General Manager. This is the Bryan coming to Wrestlemania to take out Owens and Zayn.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Lucha House Party vs. Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari/Jack Gallagher

Metalik and Daivari get things going with Ariya charging into a raised boot in the corner. Nese takes Metalik into the corner though and we take an abrupt break (felt like a clip), coming back with Metalik hitting a springboard double dropkick. Dorado dives onto Daivari and Gallagher, leaving the Salida Del Sol to end Nese at 1:46. Oh yeah they clipped the heck out of that.

From Raw.

Here’s Kurt Angle to bring out Ronda Rousey. Angle talks about Stephanie and HHH being ready for anything so Wrestlemania is going to be a lot of fun. Rousey was watching that video earlier and Stephanie is tough, but she’s trust fun tough. She’s limousine riding tough. At Wrestlemania, she’s get what’s coming to her when Ronda takes her arm out of its socket.

Cue Absolution with Paige saying this is their world. It’s nice that Rousey is going into her first match but she needs backup. Rousey could be the fourth member of Absolution! That’s a no from Ronda so Paige sends the other two after her. Deville goes down with one shot and Rousey suplexes Mandy into Sonya’s legs. Rousey grabs Mandy’s arm and cranks a bit but Angle calms her down. That’s very Ken Shamrock of her. This was another rough segment from Rousey, but once she goes beast mode, she’s exactly what WWE wants her to be. The talking though….needs some work.

We recap John Cena calling out Undertaker over and over, basically acting like the biggest jerk in the world in the process.

From Raw again.

John Cena vs. Kane

No DQ. Kane wastes no time in stomping Cena down and a big boot puts him on the floor. We’re already in the chinlock and Cena can’t power up with the AA as Kane falls down onto him for two. They head outside with Cena being sent into the steps as we take a break. Back with Kane knocking him through the crowd and hitting a suplex onto a well placed piece of barricade. They head back to the ring with Kane putting him down and going to take off a turnbuckle.

Cena sits up and sends him into the buckle, followed by the throat slit. A chokeslam gets two on Kane and it’s table time. Kane sits up this time though and shoves the table over before the AA can connect. Instead he sends Cena through the table in the corner for two. Rather than going after Cena even more, it’s another table being set up instead. The chokeslam is countered into an AA through the table to give Cena the pin at 14:02.

Rating: C. I’m still not interested in seeing Cena vs. Kane but at least they’re doing something else to set up the match than the usual stuff. That being said, Cena acting like Undertaker is some horrible person for wanting to retire because Cena wants a match at Wrestlemania is flimsy at best. This was perfectly fine for a house show main event.

Post match Cena wants to know where the lightning is. He calls Undertaker a coward again because there’s no response. Cena is willing to go to Wrestlemania as a fan because all he wants is SOMETHING from Undertaker. There’s just one week left to go because Undertaker has one week left to do something and define his career. Oh good grief. Anyway Cena wants him here next week because it’s Undertaker’s last chance.

Overall Rating: D+. That clipped match made things even less interesting than usual and my goodness Cena gets more and more obnoxious every time he runs his mouth about Undertaker. The Reigns vs. Lesnar and Bryan stuff was all very good and helped the show, but bad wrestling and emphasizing the really bad stories didn’t do this show any favors.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

Pre-Show: Carlito/Ric Flair vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

Helms slowly pounds Carlito down until a botched hurricanrana allows for the tag to Flair. The lumberjacks keep slapping the mat and it sounds like bubble wrap popping. Chops and backdrops abound but Helms saves Chavo from the Figure Four. Everything breaks down and Chavo misses the frog splash, allowing the tag to Carlito for a quick Backstabber to pin Chavo at 6:37.

Jeff Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge

Batista is All Grown Up. These videos will be on all night long with different people starting as kids and then becoming what they are today and narrating about what it means to them.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Khali chokes him with the chain post match.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Reverend Slick comes in to join the party (now with a disco ball) but Dusty Rhodes takes over instead. This brings in Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart, IRS, Gerald Brisco and finally Ricky Steamboat in karate gear. Ron Simmons comes in for his one word catchphrase (a bad word beginning with D) to cap the whole thing off, as was his custom. Funny stuff here as usual and always entertaining.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

Hall of Fame recap from last night. The speeches about Mr. Perfect were rough to sit through. Actor William Shatner inducted Jerry Lawler, even though Lawler specifically asked for longtime Memphis announcer Lance Russell to do it. WWE said no because Shatner had more star power. True, but how many people watched the ceremony because William Shatner was making a speech?

Attendance record announcement.

Time for the Hall of Fame presentation (why do the attendance in the middle?): Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect (represented by his father, which is always sad), Jerry Lawler (he had to go in with JR), Nick Bockwinkel (classy as always), Mr. Fuji (who looks about 90), the Wild Samoans, the Original Sheik (represented by his wife) and Dusty Rhodes. No one really got a bigger reaction than anyone else but the acoustics are weird in a place this big.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Batista

Batista is defending and Smackdown GM Teddy Long is announcing for some reason. Both guys are faces coming in so this could be interesting. Of course we have the druids and torches which never get old. Batista spears him down at the bell and the fans instantly boo. Right hands put Batista into the corner but Undertaker stops to glare at the referee, allowing Batista to come back with a big clothesline.

Now, say it with me: Batista pounds away in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride. Man he deserves that crash landing for being so stupid. Batista comes back with a spinebuster but walks into a chokeslam for two. The Tombstone is countered and another spear sets up the Batista Bomb for a VERY close two and a roar from the crowd. Back up and Batista tries a Tombstone (moron!) but Undertaker slips out and hits the real thing to win the title at 15:48.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Originals: Rob Van Dam, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Sabu

New Breed: Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von, Matt Striker, Kevin Thorn

Steve Austin is All Grown Up. A kid who looks like Austin slams milk together to drink it like Austin does beer. Were he and Kurt Angle switched at birth?

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando, somehow the first time the show took place in Florida.

Video on celebrities saying they want to see Trump get his head shaved. Only Rock wants Vince to get shaved.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

They slug it out to start as this is power vs. power. Lashley takes over to start and drops Estrada with a right hand, followed by low bridging a charging Umaga to the floor. Back in and Lashley misses a charge of his own, setting up a splash from Umaga for two. Trump is WAY into this on the floor, which is all you would expect from him here.

Post match Austin Stuns Shane as Vince runs. Lashley chases him down (“TIME TO GET BALD!”) and feeds him to Austin for a Stunner, followed by the big shaving. Lashley and Trump do the honors while Austin holds Vince in place be he had to be involved somehow. This would lead to a long feud between Vince and Lashley with Vince becoming ECW Champion to kill the belt once and for all.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

Clips of the dark match to give them time to clean the ring.

The good lumberjills clean house post match.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

Cena is favored to retain the title 59% to 41%.

We recap Cena vs. Michaels. Shawn came in second in the 2007 Royal Rumble and then won a triple threat to earn the title match. Cena and Michaels then became partners, but Cena was reminded that Michaels would turn on every partner he had no matter what. They wound up winning the Raw Tag Team Titles and hold them coming into this match with Shawn still promising to turn on Cena soon.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Back in and Shawn punches Cena in the knee for a target and wraps it around the post. Cena has to hop around the ring on one leg so Shawn bends the bad one around the ropes and chop blocks the champ down. It works so well that Shawn wraps it around the ropes again but Cena punches his way out of trouble. When all else fails, hit the other guy in the face. Shawn misses a charge and goes head first into the post to draw some blood. Oh yeah now we should get going.

Cena cries after the match and the highlights end the show.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Batista

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

Melina vs. Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: M (for Mickie James)

2015 Redo: F

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B+

This one is famous for one match and I’m leaving it at that.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/30/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-23-over-80000-people/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/01/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiii-shawn-is-better-than-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Raw: Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Rob Conway, Lance Cade, Matt Striker, Trevor Murdoch, Tyson Tomko, Snitsky

Smackdown: Funaki, Super Crazy, Simon Dean, Steven Richards, Johnny Nitro, William Regal, Road Warrior, Joey Mercury, Psicosis

Simon tries to make a sales pitch to start and gets superkicked for an elimination. Conway poses while beating on Richards and gets dumped for his efforts. Funaki gets catapulted out and Cade quickly follows him. Richards is stupid enough to pose on the apron and gets knocked out with Striker getting eliminated a few seconds later. Murdoch eliminates Crazy as the ring is quickly clearing out. Psicosis puts out Goldust in a pretty big upset.

Snitsky throws Regal out and MNM plants Eugene with the Snapshot (elevated DDT) for an easy elimination. The final eight (Snitsky, Viscera, Murdoch and Tomko for Raw, Mercury, Nitro, Psicosis and Road Warrior for Smackdown) have the big staredown with Psicosis quickly eliminating Murdoch, only to be put out by Tomko. Viscera tortures MNM as Snitsky and Tomko forget their allegiance by starting a brawl that no one cares about.

MNM avoids a corner splash from Viscera and actually tries the Snapshot, resulting in a severely sore back. Viscera stacks them both up for a splash and the Visagra, which can only be described as rhythmic thrusting on the mat. MNM are thankfully eliminated and Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake. Road Warrior stares Viscera down and the fans chant for the LOD. A big splash crushes Road Warrior and the elimination is academic, leaving Viscera to avoid a running boot to eliminate Snitsky for the win at 9:04.

Viscera kisses Lillian post match.

The set is much simpler this year as it looks like the side of a skyscraper and is shaped liked the Chicago skyline, which fits the theme of “Big Time”. The highlight though is a bunch of portraits of various wrestlers around the arena for a unique and cool look.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Chris Masters/Carlito

Masters and Carlito argue post match.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money in the Bank. Matt is serious again, Shelton is Intercontinental Champion again, Finlay is a tough Irish brawler and Lashley is an athletic freak and a powerhouse (originally described as Brock Lesnar times ten). To make it even better, all four commentators are on the match to make sure we never get a second of silence. Everyone goes after Lashley to start as the fans are all behind RVD.

US Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Joey Styles, the voice of ECW, takes over for JR.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Rating: A. This is the kind of violence that they needed to have and the last shots with both guys in shock and rolling around in agony from the fire more than sold the whole thing. Foley is the perfect choice to bring in for something like this as this is the match that really made Edge. Yeah he was a big deal already, but this showed his mean streak for a change, which is one of the big steps up to the main event. This is the only match people remember from this show and it holds up very, very well.

Some fans won a contest to come to Wrestlemania, plus free Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker and Sharmell are terrified and we might be in for a comedy match here. This match has been a long time in the making as Booker keeps faking injuries so he can avoid fighting Boogeyman but it finally happens here. Sharmell has to start, only to have Booker get in a cheap shot and tag in a few seconds later.

The Stratusfaction (springboard bulldog) is broken up with a grab between the legs, followed by Mickie licking her hand (edited out of most DVD versions). Trish blasts her in the face with a forearm and tries the Stratusfaction but the knee gives out (this is also edited though it might have been a bad attempt at selling the knee injury instead of a botch), allowing Mickie to kick her in the head for the pin and the title at 8:49. JR gets in a great line with “the nutjob has won the title.”

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Henry jumps Undertaker during the nearly three minute entrance and pounds him down using big clubbing blows. Yes I said BIG CLUBBING BLOWS. Undertaker tries running him over but a clothesline puts him right back down. They head outside with both guys going into the steps. Slow progress so far. Back in and Henry breaks up Old School and chokes Undertaker near the open casket.

Rating: D-. This was as going through the motions as you were going to get with neither guy looking like they were trying with any sort of effort. That being said though, if you were scheduled to get Kurt Angle and got Mark Henry instead, how fired up would you be? Bad match here as it was nearly nine minutes of punching and forearms until the ending.

We recap Vince vs. Shawn which I covered earlier. After the grow up line set him off, Vince sent Shane and the Spirit Squad (five male cheerleaders in an odd gimmick choice) after Shawn and even forced him to join his special club. As in the one that involved Vince lower his pants and a kiss from the other person. Figure out the details for yourself.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Vince flips Shawn off from the stretcher in a perfect touch.

Wrestlemania XXIII is in Detroit.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Vickie and Chavo Guerrero come out to celebrate.

HHH and John Cena are getting ready in the back and JR talks about Cena being defiant like his fans. Fans: “CENA SUCKS!”

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference from earlier in the week. HHH called this the easiest match of his life because sooner or later, they all bow down to the king. He won a quick tournament to get the shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

HHH is challenging and comes out first with a full on Conan the Barbarian look, complete with throne rising through the stage, fur pelt, and of course a bottle of water. Just like Kane in 1998 though, his entrance is trumped almost instantly. We see an old newsreel style video of Chicago in the Great Depression. Gangsters were the only people living the American Dream and a group in Chicago lived harder than anybody. To survive, those people needed three things: Hustle, Loyalty and Respect.

Highlight package ends the show.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D-

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C+

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-22-i-barely-remember-this-show/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/31/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxii-hhh-does-it-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6