IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.

No intro video this year. That’s interesting.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.

We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.

JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.

Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.

Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.

Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.

That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.

Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.

Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.

Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.

Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.

The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.

Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.

Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.

We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.

Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.

Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.

Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.

Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. That’s his last WWE appearance to date. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.

The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.

So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.

Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This was the other request so let’s throw up a triple shot this year. The big story here is Jeff Hardy challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. This was set up incredibly well with Hardy being set up as the ultimate underdog who might be able to pull off the miracle. The fans believe in him and it’s an absolutely incredible build that had me dying to see what they did. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features a bunch of wrestlers getting on a subway before going into a history of the Rumble. This year’s show gets some time as well and we cut to a fight in the subway, because wrestlers are going to wrestle.

I love the MSG setup with the entrance opposite the hard camera. It’s the only major arena to do that and it feels special.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

MVP’s US Title isn’t on the line. This was during the “if Flair loses he retires” period and MVP wanted to take him out for good, as did so many others. Before the match, Flair talks about how important this arena is and how he first wrestled here in March 1976. MVP’s entrance cuts off a rather nice speech because MVP is a rather good jerk. MVP easily takes him down and strikes a pose but Flair just WOOs at him.

Back up and Flair takes him into the corner for the chops and punches, including a big chop to put MVP down. That’s about it for the offense though as MVP kicks him in the face and gets two off a neckbreaker. Cole says he’s sure that there are fans here who were here for Flair’s first match. Really? A fan who is there for two shows 32 years apart? That’s a bit of a stretch, but Cole never was all that logical. Flair comes back with a quick Figure Four attempt but gets small packaged for two instead.

Another running boot in the corner (Helluva Kick) gives MVP three….with Flair’s foot on the rope. You know Little Naitch is thrilled to be able to say Flair gets to keep going. A superplex gives MVP two more but Flair gets in a clothesline out of the corner for a breather. Flair grabs a rollup and backslide for two each and it’s time for stylin and profilin. The Playmaker is countered into the Figure Four and MVP taps out clean.

Rating: C. Perfectly watchable match here and I can even forgive the US Champion doing a clean job for the sake of what is likely Flair’s last match in the Garden. I didn’t care for this whole story at first but it’s grown on me a bit over time. Flair deserves this kind of goodbye and his matches were still perfectly watchable at this point. Not too bad here, and a great feel good moment to ope the show.

Flair gets the big standing ovation that you knew was coming.

Hornswoggle, Vince McMahon’s son at this point in a story that is still so bizarre and gets worse every time, is in Vince’s office. Vince gives him a history of the McMahon Family in the Garden. Tonight it’s every man for himself and you can’t even trust your own family. Finlay comes in and Hornswoggle is rather happy to see him. Vince tells Finlay not to trust Hornswoggle, who jumps into Finlay’s arms as they leave. I’m still not sure if they know how old Hornswoggle is supposed to be here. That was never quite clear.

We meet new correspondent Mike Adamle, who actually doesn’t screw anything up! Yet.

We recap JBL vs. Chris Jericho. JBL had been doing commentary on Jericho’s World Title shot and got knocked down so he cost Jericho the match. The feud ensued with JBL even yelling about Jericho’s family. It’s time for the fight as Jericho continues to try to click in his return.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Ah the days of a ton of pyro for a midcard match entrance. They shove each other around to start with JBL hiding in the corner and the ropes. The second break is enough for JBL to get in a few right hands so Jericho takes him down for some of his own. The early Walls are broken up by a grab of the rope and JBL drops him throat first (the throat/neck that was damaged in the buildup) onto the top rope.

A standing Clothesline From JBL gets two and he catapults the throat into the middle rope to make it even worse. We hit the sleeper to stay on Jericho’s neck until Jericho slips out and hits a clothesline of his own. JBL is fine enough to send him shoulder first into the post and Jericho is busted open. Back in and JBL stomps away as the blood is starting to flow. They fight to the floor again and Jericho BLASTS him with a chair to the head for the DQ. Kind of a sudden finish but that sounded amazing.

Rating: D+. This really didn’t work as JBL can’t do much and Jericho didn’t exactly do much other than throw punches. Jericho is already in need of a heel turn as the face push isn’t exactly working. Maybe it’s the lack of hair or just rust but it’s not exactly clicking here. Then again Jericho is known for being able to change things up at the drop of a hat so I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Post match Jericho beats the heck out of JBL and chokes him with the television cable.

Ashley Massaro tries to go see Maria but boyfriend Santino cuts her off. See, Maria is NOT interested in posing for Playboy, though the magazine had probably already been shot by this point. For the sake of modesty, we’ll move on.

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Edge has used his relationship with Vickie Guerrero to become World Heavyweight Champion but Mysterio won a Beat the Clock Challenge (with the help of Batista and Undertaker) by pinning Edge on Smackdown. This earned Rey some beatings from Edge and the Edgeheads (Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder), because you have to have some lackeys.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge is defending and has Vickie (in a wheelchair) and the Edgeheads out here with him. The fans actually boo Mysterio a bit and cheer loudly for Edge. Feeling out process to start with Edge slipping out of the corner to continue the staredown. Rey takes him down and gets two off a basement dropkick as the fans are relentless with the booing. Back up and Edge sends him outside for the quick beating from the Edgeheads. For once the referee isn’t an idiot and ejects him, allowing Rey to get two off a springboard seated senton.

Edge takes out the knee though in a smart move and Mysterio is right back in trouble. A kneeling half crab stays on the knee but Rey fights up and scores with an enziguri. The bad knee means the 619 is very slow though and Edge grabs a powerslam for two. Something close to an ankle lock keeps the leg in trouble and now it’s time to get series as Edge loosens the knee brace. That’s enough to wake Rey up for the sitout bulldog and another kick to the head (with the good leg) gets two.

Rey changes things up a bit with a top rope double stomp for two, followed by a hurricanrana to send Edge outside. The slide into the tornado DDT has Edge in even more trouble but he kicks Rey in the head to get a breather. Mysterio is right back with a drop toehold into the 619, which draws Vickie out of the wheelchair. The distraction means Rey has to hit another 619 so Vickie jumps up to take the blow. That’s enough for Edge to get up and spear a springboarding Rey out of the air for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. This was good, though it never got up to the level you would expect from these two. Edge retaining is far from a surprise and the ending worked really well, with Vickie showing her love for Edge, who likely doesn’t care because it’s all about the title. That spear out of the air was awesome too, meaning this was perfectly fine for a Royal Rumble title defense.

Mr. Kennedy gives Flair, in a towel, a slow clap and sounds like he wants to face Flair next but here’s Shawn Michaels to get rid of him. Shawn says a loud mouthed bleach blonde guy will never work as a gimmick today and Flair seems pleased. Batista and HHH come in with HHH telling Flair to put his pants on. Tensions are teased over who will win the Royal Rumble so Shawn turns it into a merch plug.

Here’s Maria for the Kiss Cam, which totally feels in place at the Royal Rumble. This is the excuse to bring out Ashley to ask about the Playboy shoot again. Cue Santino with someone under a blanket to say stop it. There will be no Playboy because no one wants to see Maria with no clothes on.

We hit the cheap New York sports teams suck heat and, after a LET’S GO GIANTS chant, the fans seem interested in having Maria in the magazine. Santino: “They would cheer for hepatitis if you asked them to!” Santino brings in the blanketed person and of course it’s Big Dick Johnson in Patriots (Giants opponent in next week’s Super Bowl) gear for some dancing. Ashley beats him up to conclude our comedy.

Wrestlemania ad with a Baywatch theme. Believe it or not, Kelly Kelly fits this perfectly.

Adamle throws us to the recap video for Randy Orton vs Jeff “Harvey” in a fairly infamous botch.

So this is the biggest match on the show, even bigger than the Royal Rumble. Apparently the buys went WAY up as a result of Hardy getting the shot and it’s one of the best builds I’ve ever seen. You might remember me saying that Mysterio was the challenger that had no chance of winning. Well Jeff is the polar opposite, as WWE has done a masterful job at making you believe that Hardy could win.

The idea is that Orton is the perfect wrestler but Hardy is willing to do anything to win and could actually pull it off. This included one dive after another to Orton and sweet goodness did they ever work. I COMPLETELY bought Jeff as a real challenger and a lot of other people did too. It didn’t make sense, but WWE managed to create something where you believed the impossible could happen and it was amazing. I still love the build to this and it’s one of the handful of best jobs I’ve ever seen them do.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending and Jeff’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Dang I miss Burn In My Light as Orton’s theme. The fans are behind Hardy for the early lockup exchange and Jeff takes him down with a headlock. The legdrop between the legs into the basement dropkick gives Jeff two but Orton is right back with some forearms to the back. Orton to the crowd: “WHO’S YOUR BOY NOW???”

Jeff clotheslines him right back down and hits a heck of a dropkick through the ropes, leaving Orton’s head a bit crooked against the barricade. The first big dive takes Orton down and the fans believe it all over again. Back in and Orton hits a big dropkick to break up a springboard, which you had to know was coming sooner or later. There’s a suplex on the floor to give Orton two and it’s time to slowly stomp away. Back up and Jeff sends him over the top for a clothesline from the apron. Jeff takes him back inside but gets sent into the post, allowing Orton to throw on a chinlock.

Since it’s a big match though, he adds a grapevine for a bonus. The powerslam gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock for the second time in a minute. Jeff fights up again and hits the Whisper in the Wind, followed by the slingshot dropkick in the corner. It’s too early for the Swanton so Jeff settles for a missile dropkick to knock him off the apron instead. Jeff’s moonsault to the floor barely makes contact and they’re both down. Back in and Jeff tries the Twist of Fate but gets countered into the RKO for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. It was good, but without a title change (which didn’t need to happen yet) there was no way they could live up to the hype that had been built. Hardy got in some dives but there was only so much you can do when you’re not winning the title. They NAILED the build and the match itself was fine, but it was a little deflating. Jeff certainly moved up a few levels though and that’s what matters most.

Jeff gets the standing ovation, but it’s not the strongest in the world.

Rumble By The Numbers:

21 Winners

569 Wrestlers Eliminated

36 Eliminations for Steve Austin, the most ever

11 Royal Rumbles for Shawn Michaels, the most ever

11 Eliminations for Kane, the most in one match

10 Consecutive Royal Rumbles for Kane

3 Times Mick Foley entered in 1998

2 Feet that need to hit the ground for an elimination

1 Woman to have entered, with Chyna

62:12 for Rey Mysterio in 2006, the most ever

:02 For Warlord in 1990, the least ever

3 Wins for Steve Austin, the most ever

#1 Spot, which has produced more winners than #30

1 Winner from #30, the Undertaker in 2007

4 Winners from #27, the most of all time

73% Success rate for winners at Wrestlemania

1 Road to Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Michael Buffer of all people gets to do the intro, which is a very WCW thing to do, though that voice is hard to turn down. There are ninety second intervals this year so things are going to be moving. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2, with Buffer just calling him the Heartbreak Kid and never mentioning his name. Shawn (or Heartbreak) chops away in the corner to start but gets grabbed by the throat and sent into the corner for his efforts. Undertaker misses a running boot though and gets sent out to the apron. He’s fine enough to grab Shawn by the throat and hit a big boot as Santino Marella is in at #3.

Death comes quickly as Shawn superkicks him and Undertaker gets the elimination in less than thirty seconds. Shawn goes to throw Undertaker out and that’s just not bright. Old School is broken up with a pull off the top but Undertaker hits a chokeslam as Great Khali is in at #4. The fans immediately start the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants as Undertaker and Khali slug it out. The big chop is blocked though and Undertaker throws him out to get us back down to two. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 and might have some more staying power.

Undertaker and Shawn take turns knocking him down until Holly gets in a cheap shot on Undertaker to knock him into the ropes. Shawn and Holly chop it out in the corner until John Morrison is in at #6. As Coach talks about Morrison and Miz spending all night partying, Shawn throws Morrison off the top and hits the top rope elbow. It’s too early for Sweet Chin Music and Tommy Dreamer is in at #7, because WE NEED TOMMY DREAMER!!!

The traditional brawling around the ring begins with Dreamer pretending he has a chance to eliminate Undertaker. Batista is in at #8 and that keeps the crowd going even more. That gives us the big showdown with Undertaker but Dreamer (OF COURSE) breaks it up, thankfully getting eliminated. Batista spears Morrison but gets punched down in the corner by Undertaker.

Hornswoggle is in at #9 and immediately hides underneath the ring. Another spear takes Undertaker down and the brawling continues. Angry biker Chuck Palumbo is in at #10, giving us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle and Palumbo. Morrison pulls himself back in from the apron as we get to the standard operating procedure of people trying to save themselves on the ropes. Jamie Noble, currently feuding with Palumbo and rather banged up, is in at #11 and slugs it out with Palumbo.

That’s good for an elimination in about thirty seconds to keep the ring from getting too full. CM Punk is in at #12 and you know the fans are going to be into him. A bunch of running knees have Punk on a roll and he throws Palumbo out. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and a grand total of nothing happens. Well unless you count basic brawling and no one being close to an elimination. Umaga is in at #14 and knocks Holly out in a hurry to keep things balanced.

Snitsky is in at #15 (He was still around in 2008?) and the Big Bald starts cleaning house. Cody takes him to the apron but Punk can’t shove either of them out. As Cole says Morrison is like a young Shawn Michaels, Morrison’s partner Miz is in at #16. Undertaker puts Umaga on the apron but can’t stomp him out as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17. The jump to the top lets him knock Miz and Morrison to the apron, followed by Paydirt to Morrison.

That’s enough from Shelton though as Sweet Chin Music is good for an elimination. Well that works. I loved the original Shelton run but he never recovered from that Gold Standard nonsense. Jimmy Snuka of all people is in at #18 and the fans literally get to their feet for that one. Undertaker tries a headbutt and hurts himself in a little payback from Wrestlemania VII. The old man abuse stops….and Roddy Piper is in at #19 to blow away Snuka’s pop.

Piper and Snuka have the big showdown in slow motion (thankfully with Piper in shorts instead of trunks) and everyone stops to watch the fight. Things settle back down until Kane is in at #20 to get rid of Piper and Snuka, leaving us with Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still under the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz and Kane. Undertaker loads up a chokeslam on Kane but goes after Michaels instead, with Kane making the save for some reason.

Carlito is in at #21 and spits the apple at Cody as there are too many people who have been around too long. A nice backflip gets Carlito out of trouble and it’s Mick Foley in at #22 to a very long and positive reaction. Batista takes the Last Ride and Foley hits a double arm DDT on Kane. There’s a Samoan drop from Umaga to Undertaker as the ring is way too full. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 to make it even worse but Undertaker takes him down with a chokeslam. A lot of people are down as Undertaker starts hitting his running clotheslines in the corner.

Undertaker gets rid of Snitsky but walks into Sweet Chin Music for the big surprise elimination. Kennedy gets rid of Shawn immediately thereafter, all while Big Daddy V is in at #24. Undertaker beats up Snitsky to blow off some steam before leaving. We get some near eliminations with Cody and Kennedy fighting to the apron and Mark Henry is in at #25. Hornswoggle returns from the dead and pulls Miz out before heading right back underneath the ring. As Snitsky finally gets up to leave, V can’t get rid of Morrison or Kennedy. Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 and Kane kicks Morrison out.

Henry pulls the returning Hornswoggle inside so here’s Finlay to jump the gun at #27 to swing the shillelagh. He and Hornswoggle leave, with the explanation being that Finlay was disqualified for using the club and Hornswoggle was, uh, short? Finlay holds Hornswoggle’s hand on the way out, again acting like he’s about five. Elijah Burke is in at #28 and MY GOODNESS get rid of some people already. The Samoan Spike sends Batista underneath the ropes and outside for a breather.

Chavo gets rid of Punk and it’s HHH at #29 to hopefully eliminate half the field. Cody, Big Daddy V, Foley (nice slugout first) and Burke are all gone to make things way better. Umaga gets sent head first into the post and Pedigreed….and JOHN CENA is in at #30 to one of the all time great pops.

See, Cena had torn his pectoral muscle back in October and the word was he was going to miss Wrestlemania, if not the following Summerslam. WWE had this wild idea for Cena: use a combination of Cena’s uncanny ability to heal and recover in a crazy hurry and, of course, LIE. This is one of the best shocking returns ever because Cena had been completely written off for at least the next six months. The fans, as in the MSG fans, are STUNNED and pop the roof off the place before realizing that it’s Cena and they’re supposed to boo at him.

Cena starts cleaning house and gets rid of Carlito, Chavo and Henry to get us down to Cena, HHH, Umaga, Kane, Batista and Kennedy. We get the big showdown with Cena and HHH as the right hands start fast. HHH hits a spinebuster but walks into an uppercut from Umaga. Kane and Kennedy are dispatched in a hurry and it’s HHH and Batista teaming up to toss Umaga. That leaves us with three, which is a heck of a triple threat. Batista gives both of them the thumbs down and the fight is on with a double clothesline putting HHH and Cena down.

There’s the big spinebuster to both of them but Cena counters the Batista Bomb. A clothesline gets rid of Batista and we’re down to the major showdown, which the fans certainly enjoy. That means POINTING AT THE SIGN (take that Ronda) and they slug it out with the fans being behind Cena. HHH gets caught with Cena’s usual but it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown. A DDT takes Cena down again but he counters another Pedigree attempt into the AA over the top for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a bumpy road as they didn’t pace things well, meaning the match was way too full for far too long. They had a nice balance of legends and modern stars though with those three New York pops being very well done. It’s not a great match or anything, but what we got worked.

Now, with that out of the way, this is ALL about Cena’s return with nothing else coming close. That’s the kind of ovation and reaction you only get once in a long time and my goodness did it work here. Cena being back changed everything and it was a great moment all around. Just watching that crowd of smarks lose their minds because they were actually surprised is an all time favorite of mine and it still works eleven years later.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of an awkward show as the whole big moment at the end doesn’t exactly make up for everything else. Now that being said, there’s nothing too bad or even bad at all, but nothing that stands out either. The Hardy vs. Orton match was all hype but still entertaining, while I’m already having trouble remembering the rest of the card. Cena’s return stole everything and that’s fine, as it wasn’t really a great show to start.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: C

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/27/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-screw-wwes-list-this-is-the-1-rumble-moment/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2008-the-biggest-surprise-in-rumble-history/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This show received the same amount of votes as 2001 and sounded intriguing so here’s a bonus redo. We’re back in Texas here with Undertaker and Shawn Michaels both in the Rumble, meaning good things should be happening. There’s also a well remembered John Cena vs. Umaga match, which should be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard look back at the history of the show, including what it means to win and go to Wrestlemania. Well that’s certainly a big deal. The rest of the card (not so big of a deal) is discussed as well, mainly focusing on Cena vs. Umaga.

We hear from all six announcers because WWE thinks we need to have six announcers. Just wait until there’s basically a press row.

MNM vs. Hardy Boyz

The Hardys had made a comeback late in 2006 and their main rivalry was with MNM. Joey Mercury is coming in with a shattered nose, meaning he’s got a face mask. MNM has Melina in their corner and just….wow. That’s really all that needs to be said. Matt comes in with a dislocated jaw and Jeff is Intercontinental Champion, showing you how balanced the team was. Nitro jumps Matt from behind to start and Mercury comes in to go after Matt’s injured face.

Matt takes over though and brings Jeff in, meaning it’s time for the WOOing from the crowd. It must be a North Carolina thing. Jeff’s atomic drop into the legdrop between the legs gets two and it’s back to Matt. Johnny sends him into the buckle though and we’re down to the beating. A good looking/hard kick to the head has Matt in trouble as MNM stays on the face for the sake of revenge. Makes sense actually and the kind of thing you wouldn’t see a lot of the time.

Melina hits the screeching because…that sound made me lose my train of thought so we’ll go to Matt being caught in a chinlock. Mercury misses a middle rope elbow though and it’s off to Jeff to speed things back up. A facebuster gets two on Johnny, followed by a Whisper in the Wind for the same with Mercury having to make a save. The Hardys hit their top rope legdrop/splash combination but Jeff is banged up and Nitro stays on the ribs.

We hit the waistlock for a bit until Jeff reverses into a rollup for two. Nitro grabs a bodyscissors as you certainly can’t fault their psychology so far. Jeff finally backdrops his way to freedom but, of course, the referee doesn’t see it so Matt stays in trouble. Double teaming doesn’t work so well though as Jeff sends MNM into each other, meaning it’s off to Matt so house can be cleaned.

The bulldog/clothesline combination gets two but Jeff has to break up the Snapshot (elevated DDT) as everything breaks down. Poetry in Motion is broken up and Nitro’s rollup gets two (and more screeching). The Twist of Fate into the Swanton (with Nitro rolling over so it can hit) gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: B. Good but not great match here as the Hardys were only going to be able to do so much at this point. I’m not sure what the point was in having MNM lose the matches like this when you need to build younger teams up but at least they were pushing the heck out of the Hardys while they could. Jeff would of course break free and go on to some huge things, but it was WAY too early to realize that yet.

Jonathan Coachman (Raw Executive Assistant) and Teddy Long (Smackdown General Manager) are holding the Rumble drawing (SWEET). After the standard bickering over who will win, Edge comes in to pick his number but first we look at Kelly Kelly (my goodness the WWE women were stunning back then).

Edge’s partner Randy Orton (Raw Tag Team Champions) comes in to draw his own number. Orton threatens to eliminate Edge and we get the standard “I’ll show you mine, you show me yours” exchange. King Booker comes in to say tell me you didn’t just say that. I miss these segments and I have no idea why they don’t exist anymore. You can get some nice character development in all of a few seconds with no effort put in. Probably not high concept enough for WWE or something.

We recap Test vs. Bobby Lashley. Test wanted a title shot and is on a roll so he gets to be the sacrificial lamb to the monster champion. It sounds good, but it’s Test in 2007.

ECW Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Test is challenging while Lashley does the Brock Lesnar jump to the apron entrance, complete with the same pyro. They start a little slowly until Lashley spears Test down, sending the Canadian bailing to the ropes. Back up and Lashley avoids a charge and snaps off a great looking t-bone suplex. If he could have talked, he would have block Lesnar’s career out of the water.

With the wrestling not working at all, Test tries posting Lashley instead to actually take over. Back in and we hit the armbar for a very, very long time, because that’s exactly what you would expect in an ECW match (To be fair, people like Lashley and Test never would have been in ECW to begin with. And there’s the whole WWE aspect so maybe the armbar isn’t as big of an issue as it seems. Maybe that’s enough filler to get through this armbar and….oh sweet we’re on to something else.).

Test gets suplexed again but the shoulder gives out, allowing Test to get in the big boot for two. That’s his big shot so Test tries a TKO, only to get countered with a belly to belly. A clothesline puts Test on the floor….and that’s a countout. Egads this needs a rematch? For TEST? Someone thinks this is worthy of a second match?

Rating: F. Just no all around here, between a big power guy using an armbar for such a long stretch of the match, Test in general, the stupid ending and thinking that a pay per view as big as the Royal Rumble isn’t enough of a stage to end this nothing feud. Terrible match here and it didn’t even feel like a TV main event.

Lashley beats Test up again. Why in the world was this not a clean pin? Lashley pinned him in an even shorter match on the following episode of ECW TV, so what was the point here?

John Cena’s ribs are banged up but he’ll defend the title anyway. Vince comes in and mocks You Can’t See Me, saying he won’t be seeing Cena as WWE Champion after tonight. Funny enough line, but Vince vs. Cena doesn’t do anything for me.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match with Mr. Kennedy winning a Beat the Clock Challenge to earn the shot at Batista. Kennedy cheated Undertaker out of the shot so Undertaker went after him, only to hit Batista by mistake. That would be saved for Wrestlemania XXIII though, with Kennedy getting the shot and bragging about beating six World Champions leading up to lucky #7 tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Batista is defending and easily tosses Kennedy around with raw power. Back up and some right hands stagger Batista as JBL sings Kennedy’s praises. A suplex takes Kennedy down again though and it’s time to head outside. Kennedy gets in a shot to the leg to slow Batista a bit and it’s time to go to work back inside. We hit a reverse Figure Four of all things (I haven’t seen that in years) until Kennedy gets caught in the ropes. A running boot in the corner keeps Batista in trouble as this has been almost one sided so far.

Kennedy grabs a half crab to stay on the leg for a good while until letting go, allowing Batista to snap off a spinebuster. After some holding the knee, Batista starts the comeback with clotheslines and a backdrop, followed by a Kenton Bomb (Kennedy’s Regal Roll). The Batista Bomb is broken up though and a ref bump allows Kennedy to get in a low blow. Kennedy’s neckbreaker (finisher) gets no count but the fans are chanting for Kennedy. For some reason Kennedy goes to the middle rope but dives into a clothesline. The Batista Bomb retains the title.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world here as they didn’t bother having Kennedy trying to do more than he could have done. Batista wasn’t exactly great against smaller guys so there was definitely a styles clash here. At least the match had a point and felt like a TV main event, which is all this should have been. The fans reacted to Batista’s win though and seemed to like Kennedy, even if this really didn’t rocket off the launch pad.

JBL is FURIOUS over the non-count off the neckbreaker.

Kevin Thorn and Ariel try to draw a number when Hornswoggle (nearly feral at this point) comes in to do the same. Coach makes a short joke and gets bitten and attacked. Great Khali comes in for the visual joke, followed by grabbing three balls. He leaves two, which Kelly Kelly picks up. You know the joke and you know what Ron Simmons comes in to say.

We recap John Cena vs. Umaga. Cena escaped with a fluke win at New Year’s Revolution but Umaga’s manager Armando Alejandro Estrada decided the rematch should be a Last Man Standing match. Umaga injured Cena’s ribs coming in for a pretty simple but perfectly acceptable story.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Cena is defending, Umaga has manager Armando Alexjandro Estrada in his corner and it’s Last Man Standing. It’s almost weird to hear Cena get a pretty strong face reaction but it’s still in full force here. Cena tries to slug away and even hits a jawbreaker, only to have a single shot to the ribs put him on the floor. Umaga sends him into the steps and it’s time to knock Cena up the aisle.

For some reason Cena tries to send Umaga head first into the apron and is promptly beaten down for his efforts. Serves him right. Back in and Cena charges into a clothesline for an eight count. Umaga throws the steps in but Cena snaps Umaga’s neck over the top and throws the steps over the top and down onto Umaga’s face for another near win. It looked great if nothing else and that’s what they were going for there.

Back in and Umaga, whose head is hard enough to survive having steps thrown at them, grabs a bearhug into a belly to belly. Umaga puts the steps up in the corner but the running Umaga Attack only hits steel. Another steps to the head shot drops Umaga again but Cena’s high crossbody (Just….why?) is countered into a swinging Rock Bottom (Oh….that’s why.). A low blog gets Cena out of trouble and he hits the Throwback onto the steps. The entire finishing sequence is initiated onto the steps but Umaga is too heavy for the FU, sending Cena head first into the steps and busting him open in the process.

That’s only good for nine and the fans think Cena sucks (now that’s more like it). Cena somehow gets all fired up and tells Umaga to bring it, meaning a bunch of right hands and a Samoan drop to crush Cena all over again. So I guess that’s Umaga bringing it. Cena gets tied in the Tree of Woe but Umaga misses a running headbutt. A whip sends Umaga into the post, followed by a heck of a monitor shot to the head. I mean, it shouldn’t work on Umaga but that’s what they do around here.

For some reason Cena dives at him and gets driven back first into the post to change control again. You would think Cena would learn at some point. It’s time to load up the announcers’ tables and since there are three of them, Cena is laid on the third one for a running splash but Cena moves, likely clued in by the running Samoan charging at him. That’s only good for nine so Estrada unhooks a rope for the sake of setting up the finish. The turnbuckle is ripped off and Cena grabs an FU before choking Umaga out with the rope in the STF to retain at 23:10.

Rating: B+. There wasn’t exactly any subtlety in this one and there’s nothing wrong with that. Last Man Standing matches are designed to be wild brawls with both guys beating the heck out of each other which is exactly what we got here. Cena had to go to another place to retain the title here and that’s the kind of match he needed to boost him to another level. Really fun brawl here with Umaga playing his role perfectly as the monster that has to be stopped somehow.

Wrestlemania ad.

Sandman goes to pick his number but sprays beer everywhere instead. Ric Flair comes in and Kelly hits on him. The lights go out and the rest of Extreme Expose (Brooke Adams and Layla) come in to dance. Again: back in the day when there were jobs for sexy women whose job was nothing more than to be sexy and dance in tiny outfits. There is something to be said about the old days.

We look back at various famous Rumble moments and winners in a nice touch as this is the 20^th Rumble. That being said, how many times can we have THE MOST STAR STUDDED ROYAL RUMBLE IN HISTORY???

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals with Ric Flair in at #1 (That’s the second time he’s been #1. In five appearances he entered #3, #1, #5, #30 and #1 for some of the worst luck ever in this thing.) and Finlay in at #2 in what could be a very interesting midcard match if they were given some time. The promos alone could be interesting. Finlay easily wins a battle of the forearms and catches Flair with a backdrop. A rake to the eyes gets Flair out of trouble and it’s Kenny Dykstra (a twenty year old who has given Flair some issues before) in at #3.

Kenny knocks Flair down but has to save himself from Finlay. Some chops cut Kenny off and it’s Matt Hardy in at #4. Still not much going on aside from a bunch of right hands so it’s Edge in at #5 for some spears. Flair is knocked through the ropes to the floor and comes up with a pair of chairs. Matt cuts Edge off with a clothesline but Edge is still up to get rid of Flair without much effort. Edge tosses Dykstra as well and Tommy Dreamer is in at #6. Matt can’t get Edge out as the announcers joke about how Lawler survived for a long time by hiding underneath the ring. To be fair, it was a smart idea.

Sabu is in at #7 and sets up a table at ringside to fulfill general expectations. Dreamer clotheslines him out of the air though as Jerry impresses the commentators by remembering all of Sabu’s nicknames. Cruiserweight Champion (for a YEAR now) Gregory Helms is in at #8 as this isn’t exactly lighting the world up so far. More eliminations are teased but there’s just nothing going on at the moment and it’s really starting to show. Shelton Benjamin is in at #9 and nearly gets Matt out but can’t quite put him near the tables.

Matt can’t suplex Shelton out either and it’s Kane in at #10 (CLEAN THE RING OUT!), giving us a group of Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Dreamer, Sabu, Helms, Benjamin and Kane. House is cleaned in a hurry with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to Helms and a chokeslam to Edge. Dreamer and Sabu, the latter via a chokeslam through the table, are tossed without much effort (good, as they were nothing more than filler anyway as no one took ECW seriously at this point). CM Punk, not yet a big star, is in at #11 and goes right for Edge which just feels right. We’re getting back into the same lull we were in earlier, just with some bigger names.

Finlay punches Punk down but can’t get him out (I’m as shocked as you are). King Booker is in at #12 and quickly eliminates Helms. Matt and Finlay can’t get rid of Kane so people keep running around and punch each other until Super Crazy (complete with lawnmower noises to start his entrance) is in at #13. More eliminations are teased with no eliminations so Jeff Hardy comes in at #14, hopefully firing things up a bit. We get some double teaming but NO ELIMINATIONS, even when they get in a fight with Kane.

The Sandman, coming through the crowd, is in at #15, cracks some people with the kendo stick, and is eliminated by Booker in about fifteen seconds. Jeff and Punk both manage to survive and it’s Randy Orton (with the sweet Burn in My Light theme) in at #16. Orton and Edge immediately get together to eliminate Crazy and both Hardys, thankfully clearing some of the ring out. US Champion Chris Benoit is in at #17 and slugs away at Booker before grabbing some German suplexes on various people. There’s very little to talk about between these entrances aside from kicking and the occasional suplex.

Rob Van Dam is in at #18 and starts firing off the kicks. Kane gets rid of Booker, who gets back in and dumps Kane like a royal jerk. The fight continues at ringside as Viscera, complete with smoking jacket, is in at #19. Rob hammers on Finlay as the announcers make a bunch of fat jokes about Viscera. Johnny Nitro is in at #20, giving us Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam, Viscera and Nitro. It also gives us another section of NOTHING HAPPENING until Benoit throws Shelton over the top but since that might be interesting, Benjamin gets back in.

Kevin Thorn is in at #21 giving us another meaningless body in there. A dropkick knocks Nitro into Viscera but some clotheslines can’t get rid of the big man. Hardcore Holly comes in at #22 and the crowd is just DONE. How boring of a match does it take to kill the freaking Royal Rumble crowd? Rob hangs on off a catapult to the apron as there are way too many people in the ring as we wait on someone to come in and clean house.

A bunch of people can’t get rid of Viscera so it’s hometown boy Shawn Michaels in at #23 and PLEASE HELP US!!! Shawn hits a Thesz press on Finlay (the only person not trying to get rid of Viscera) and dumps him without much effort. Viscera is finally dumped after a superkick from Shawn and everyone else getting together. Shawn gets rid of Shelton and somehow the ring is still overcrowded. Chris Masters is in at #24 and Benoit eliminates Nitro. Chavo Guerrero is in at #25 to really bring up the energy.

Benoit gets rid of Thorn as well and Rob can’t find someone to kick. MVP is in at #26 and dang I missed that clock entrance. Rob dropkicks Masters out as they’re doing a good job of keeping the total about the same at worst and going down when they can. Some right hands from Orton can’t get rid of Punk and it’s Carlito in at lucky #27. JBL insults Cole as is his custom while Shawn is put to the apron and BARELY hangs on in a spot that wakes the crowd up a bit. Great Khali is in at #28 and he has get rid of a bunch of people. Everyone gets chopped down with Holly being the only one eliminated.

Miz (JBL: “Don’t worry King, I hate him too.”) is in at #29 and Khali gets rid of him in short order. Van Dam, Punk, Carlito, Chavo and Benoit all go out at Khali’s hands and it’s a Punjabi Plunge to Shawn. There’s one name left and there’s the gong to give fans hope over Khali. Of course it’s Undertaker in at #30, giving us a final group of Edge, Orton, Shawn, MVP, Khali and Undertaker. The giant slugout is on with Undertaker getting the better of it and clotheslining Khali out to REALLY wake the fans up.

Old School hits MVP and we’re down to four in a hurry. MVP grabs a chair but Orton takes it away and caves in Undertaker’s head. Edge teases spearing Orton but Randy has to catch Shawn with an RKO, sending him underneath the ropes to the floor. A bloody Undertaker gets beaten down by Edge and Orton but of course comes back with right hands and running clotheslines in the corner. The double clothesline puts them down again and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot on Edge.

A chokeslam on Orton is broken up with a spear and Edge blasts Undertaker with the chair. JBL points out the problem that knocking him down makes it even harder to throw him out, which is the only smart point he’s made all night. A Conchairto is loaded up but Shawn comes back in to get rid of Orton and Edge. Shawn collapses and it’s Undertaker sitting up, closely followed by Shawn’s nip up and you it’s on now.

Undertaker misses a charge in the corner and Shawn hammers away but gets whipped hard over the buckles. Shawn hangs on with one arm (like he did in 1995) and punches his way out as you can feel the energy here. Another Flair Flip in the corner puts Shawn on the apron but Undertaker misses a running boot and winds up on the apron. Shawn’s running forearm can’t get rid of him and a second attempt eats an elbow, allowing Undertaker to get back in.

Shawn grabs a swinging neckbreaker and both guys are down again. That means it’s time for the slugout as the fans are almost entirely behind Shawn. A big boot cuts Shawn down but he hangs on the apron again. Undertaker puts him on top and they slug it out with Shawn doing some of the best milking of the drama that you’ll ever see. Shawn FINALLY knocks him back to the mat and drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is blocked though and it’s a chokeslam to put Shawn down again. Somehow Shawn pops up with another superkick and they’re both down for what feels like the fifth time. Shawn tries another superkick with Undertaker against the ropes (how Shawn won in 1996) but gets backdropped out to the floor to give Undertaker the win, making him the first #30 entrant to ever win.

Rating: C-. Shawn and Undertaker just came as close as you can get to saving a really boring match with a ten minute segment. That was some of the best drama you’ll ever see and you could actually feel the drama at the level you almost never get in the Rumble, right up there with Hogan vs. Warrior back in 1990. Absolutely incredible finish there and they would have been crazy to not run that match at Wrestlemania at some point. It took two years but I’d say it worked well to put it mildly.

The rest of the Rumble though….egads. This was a wreck with WAY too many stretches of people laying around and doing almost nothing at all. You shouldn’t have more than eight or nine people in the match but for some reason they had over ten in there multiple times. There was almost nothing in there until Undertaker came in and that’s WAY too late to make this work. It doesn’t help that almost no big story for the first eighty percent of the match, which really makes the match a chore to sit through. Just check out the ending though because that stuff is incredible.

Shawn looks like he’s about to cry and Undertaker points at him. Undertaker soaks in the victory and does the pose at the Wrestlemania sign to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The ending of the Rumble helps this a lot and the Last Man Standing match is great but the rest of the show just wasn’t working at all. This wasn’t the best time for the company as they were trying to develop some midcard talent but it wasn’t quite there yet. It was still a good show but there was a lot to be desired, especially in the Rumble. Give the Rumble a better middle and this show goes way up. As it is though, it’s just pretty good.

Ratings Comparison

Hardy Boyz vs. MNM

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B

Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: F

Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. Umaga

Original: C

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C+

My jaw kept falling lower and lower with each of those original ratings. The Rumble rating just shouldn’t have been that high either time though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/26/royal-rumble-count-up-2007-the-best-spot-finally-wins/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/21/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2007-the-battle-of-texas/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 14, 2019
Location: FedExForum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves

We’re getting closer and closer to the Royal Rumble and as long as we don’t have anything like last week’s Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar fiasco, I should be fine. The problem is Strowman might not be fine, as his recovery from elbow surgery isn’t done yet, meaning he might not be able to compete at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon arrives to open things up and isn’t happy about a spot on the limo.

Here’s Braun Strowman to a rather strong reaction. Strowman talks about Lesnar being scared of him, including the time that he had to be saved at WWE World Cup (still not the name of the show). He’s getting the Universal Title at Chase Field but the only thing that Lesnar is getting are these hands. This brings out Baron Corbin, with Strowman reminding him that he got fired. Corbin says the people are going to listen to him and if he’s up there for five minutes, it’ll be longer than Strowman lasted against Lesnar.

The chase is on with Strowman heading to the back and throwing Sunil Singh over a table for not knowing where Corbin went. Strowman goes off to find Corbin and we get a quick song from Elias. The lyrics say he knows where Corbin went so here’s Strowman, who couldn’t possibly have heard the song from where he was, to hear Elias say Corbin is in the limo. Strowman finds a pipe and breaks the window before just ripping the door off. Vince comes up and isn’t happy with the broken door but doesn’t say anything.

Post break Braun can’t put the door back on so Vince says he’s a wrecking ball. That’ll be a $100,000 fine, which Strowman says is crazy. Vince doesn’t like being talked to that way, so the Universal Title match is canceled. Vince leaves so Strowman turns the limo over. Did Corbin ever get out of there?

Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Ronda Rousey/Sasha Banks

Nia throws Banks around to start but gets kicked in the head, allowing the tag to Rousey. Ronda kicks Tamina in the face as well and the armbar attempt sends Tamina bailing to the floor. Banks knocks Nia off the apron and we take a break. Back with Nia putting Banks in a chinlock….as we go split screen for a trailer for Glass. We come back to full screen with Banks fighting up and sending Tamina into Nia. The Bank Statement makes Tamina tap at 10:02 without a tag to Rousey.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst but it’s still hard to care about anything involving Nia. They did something interesting with having Banks get the win without Rousey doing anything in the end, which is a nice way to help pump things up a bit. Now just let them have an awesome match at the Rumble.

Post match Rousey and Banks are interviewed with Rousey saying it’s going to mean a lot to make Banks tap. That’s not cool with Banks, who says she can make anyone tap. Banks promises to make Rousey tap out with grace so Rousey says Banks can be the world’s most grateful loser. That sounds like Rousey calling her a loser, so Banks says Rousey can bank on tapping. Banks goes to leave but Rousey goes after her and talks about respect.

A bunch of wrestlers are outside Vince’s office when Jerry Lawler comes out. No Way Jose comes up so dancing can ensue.

Post break Bayley and Natalya are holding Rousey and Banks back. They finally leave so Bayley and Natalya can argue over whose fault it was. The Riott Squad comes up to laugh at them and a six woman is set up for later, if Bayley and Natalya can find a partner. Somewhere, someone has to be laughing at this because it has to be a rib at this point.

Lucha House Party vs. Revival

Kalisto and Gran Metalik here. Before the match, Revival complains about getting cheated out of the titles last week, which still isn’t a good way to make them heels. Kalisto flips away from Wilder to start and it’s Metalik dropping Kalisto onto him for two. An atomic drop into a dropkick from Wilder gets two on Kalisto and we go split screen to hear Apollo Crews volunteer to face Lesnar at Royal Rumble. Curt Hawkins comes up to say he should get the shot as Dawson gets two off a suplex to Kalisto.

EC3 comes in (making his Raw debut) and smiles without saying anything. The B Team says the B stands for Brock but they’re not sure which one should get the fight. Kalisto knocks Dawson away as Heath Slater says he shouldn’t fight Lesnar but Rhyno could. Back to full screen with Metalik coming in off the hot tag and getting to clean house. A dropkick misses though and Dawson plants Metalik with a DDT for the pin at 4:13 with Wilder shoving the foot off the rope.

Rating: D. I’m not wild on the cut to the back when it was little more than a cameo from EC3, though I’ll certainly take the storyline stuff over a movie plug. The match itself was nothing that hasn’t been done either, but I’m not sure why they can’t figure out if we’re supposed to cheer for the Revival or not. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Vince comes out of his office and says he’ll make the announcement of the replacement in the ring.

Here’s Vince for the announcement but John Cena cuts him off before anything can be said. Cena talks about everyone leaving Vince high and dry, leaving him with a bunch of misfits (or Hall of Famers, same thing) to carry things. Vince needed someone to stand up and that’s what Cena did, time after time. Now, Cena wants to stand up one more time and he won’t let Vince down.

Cena says he can do this because he has RUTHLESS AGGRESSION but here’s Drew McIntyre to say it should be his shot now. Like everyone else Cena talked about, Cena can leave. Now it’s Corbin coming out (YOUR PRESENCE IS NOT REQUIRED!!!) to threaten legal action over what happened with Strowman earlier, though he’ll be fine with just a title shot.

Finn Balor comes out as well to say he’s tired of being left out of these conversations. Out of everyone here, he’s the only one to have ever been Universal Champion. Vince says Balor may be one day again, but he doesn’t have the beef to size up against Lesnar. Balor says Vince never believed in him but the people here do. There’s nothing Balor can say to change his mind, so he’ll show Vince instead. The fight is on with McIntyre being the only one left standing. A Claymore knocks Cena silly for a bonus and Vince makes a four way for the title shot tonight.

Post break, Jinder Mahal comes up to Vince and says he should be in the match instead. Vince seems to buy into it and says Mahal can face any of the four and if he wins, he can go to the Rumble. Mahal picks Balor to face tonight, and if he wins he gets to go to the Rumble. Wait what? Did I miss something here?

Bayley/Natalya/Nikki Cross vs. Riott Squad

Cole makes it clear that neither Nikki nor the rest of the NXT callups have been assigned to either brand and will be appearing on both shows for awhile. Bayley starts with Logan as Nikki freaks out on the apron. She gets the tag and immediately starts choking Logan, followed by a dropkick to send it off to Morgan instead. All six get in and Nikki says let her play by herself.

Nikki goes after all three of them on the floor, allowing Bayley and Natalya to add baseball slides. The distraction lets Nikki crawl underneath the ring and pull Riott into the ring skirt for a pounding as we take a break. Back with Bayley in trouble as Morgan comes in to choke away. A dropkick to the back gets two and it’s Logan coming in for the chinlock.

Bayley fights up and sends Logan into the corner so the hot tag can bring Natalya in. Morgan snaps off a running hurricanrana for two and it’s Nikki diving in for the save. Something like a super Hart Attack drops Logan and a Regal Cutter puts her down again. Everything breaks down and Nikki crushes Riott and Logan in the corner. Bayley tags herself in as Nikki hits her hanging swinging neckbreaker. The top rope elbow gives Bayley the pin at 11:31.

Rating: C. Most of the match was nothing we haven’t seen before but this was ALL about Nikki, who was the ball of fire that she needed to be. Nikki’s greatest strength is coming off as actually nuts and that’s what she did here. Now just please don’t make her the latest plaything for this ridiculous feud. That would be as dumb as you can get and I really hope it’s not the case here. Anyway, great debut in an eh match.

Balor is on his way to the ring and sees Lacey Evans talking to Dana Brooke and Mickie James.

Dean Ambrose talks about right and wrong. It’s right that he gets to defend the Intercontinental Title but wrong that he has to defend the Intercontinental Title in a triple threat match in Memphis.

Finn Balor vs. Jinder Mahal

The winner is in tonight’s four way for the title. Mahal jumps Balor before the bell and knocks him off the top, sending Balor ribs first into the barricade. Balor gets in and says he wants the match so Mahal hits him in the face for an early two. The chinlock goes on and Mahal knocks him to the floor as we take an early break.

Back with Balor’s bad ribs being sent into the corner and a reverse chinlock going on. Balor fights up with a kick to the head and some running forearms. The real comeback is on with the big flip dive to the floor onto Mahal and Singh. Back in and the shotgun dropkick sets up the Coup de Grace to give Balor the pin at 9:33.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t a great match on its own but it sets Balor up for the win later on. The rib injury was a good addition as it makes Balor’s hill that much harder to climb. There’s a good David vs. Goliath story to be told with Balor vs. Lesnar and this was a smart place to start.

Lio Rush says Bobby Lashley is ready to win the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Before the match, Rollins says this is his last chance to win the title back and knock Ambrose’s teeth out. All that matters out there is what you do bell to bell and no one can do it like him. Dean offers Rollins a partnership against Lashley and gets sent outside for his efforts. Rollins dropkicks Lashley outside as well and hits a dive before punching Dean again.

Back in and Rollins gets double teamed to put him in trouble for the first time. Lashley hits a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner but a second charge misses, allowing Rollins to slug away. One heck of a spinebuster puts Rollins down and Dean sends Lashley outside. That’s enough of a delay to let Rollins clothesline Dean to the floor for a suicide dive to both. Rush tries to go after Rollins but has to bail to the floor instead. The chase is on so Lashley hits a spinebuster on Rollins and a belly to belly on Dean as we take a break.

Back with Dean hitting a clothesline on Lashley and forming a rather loose partnership with Rollins to keep him in trouble. That gives us the big staredown but they go with more stomping on Lashley instead. A shot with the steps puts Lashley down again and NOW it’s time for the big showdown. Rollins hits the Falcon Arrow for two with Rush coming in for the save because there are no DQ’s. Ambrose knocks Rush to the floor and gets superkicked, only to have Lashley come back in to steal two.

Dirty Deeds is broken up by Rollins’ springboard clothesline and there’s an enziguri to Lashley. Rollins adds the frog splash but Dean sends Rollins outside to steal the near fall. Ambrose and Lashley get together for a Doomsday Device on Rollins, who pops right back up. Rush offers ANOTHER distraction and gets Seth knocked outside, leaving Lashley to spear Ambrose for the pin and the title at 13:15.

Rating: C. It was exciting at times though I’m a little surprised by the title change. Lashley hasn’t really been doing anything of note but at least it’s something fresh. Ambrose didn’t have many people to feud with but it’s not like Lashley has that many more. Not a bad match, just a surprise ending.

Alexa Bliss won’t answer the door to get her latte so the delivery guy brings it in. Bliss is changing and covers up in time, much to her own annoyance.

It’s time for a Moment of Bliss. Before we get to the guest, we have some news to get to. A few weeks ago, the Women’s Tag Team Titles were announced but no date was given. Well Bliss has the details: in five weeks at Elimination Chamber, three teams from Raw and Smackdown will compete inside the Chamber to crown the first champions. Bliss pulls off a blanket to reveal the titles, which have a big plate with points on the corners.

That’s enough for that though as it’s time to talk to Bliss’ guest: Paul Heyman. He tells Bliss to ask her best questions so Bliss asks about tonight’s four way. Lesnar would run over any of the four in the match tonight with a quick mention of each competitor. He has had his eye on McIntyre and knows he’ll be a World Champion, but not right now. As he talks about the four, Otis Dozovic from NXT appears and looks….disturbed. He talks about pretty ladies as Heyman and Bliss look horrified. His partner Tucker Knight comes in to pull him back to wrap things up. That was a rather forced debut but Dozovic definitely got some attention.

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre vs. John Cena

One fall to a finish and the winner goes to the Rumble to face Lesnar. Balor starts fast by heading up top for an early Coup de Grace on Corbin but gets pulled down into a chokebreaker for two as we take a break. Back with Corbin knocking Balor off the apron to keep the ribs in trouble. Cena hits a tornado DDT for two on Corbin with McIntyre making the save.

McIntyre comes back in and gets caught with some of Cena’s usual until Corbin makes a save of his own. Balor and Cena load up Corbin for a double superplex but McIntyre powerbombs them both down, only to get crotched on top by Corbin. That’s fine with Drew, who does his situp into a choke superplex as we take another break. Back again with Balor charging into the End of Days, leaving Corbin to take the Glasgow Kiss.

Cena goes up top but dives into a powerbomb from McIntyre for two. Drew and Corbin start stomping away until the good guys fight back. Cena takes Balor up top for the super AA with Corbin throwing him outside to steal two. Now it’s Corbin grabbing a chair to unload on Cena and McIntyre but Cena is right back with an AA. The Claymore takes Cena down but Balor hits a tornado DDT of his own on McIntyre. The Coup de Grace to Cena gives Balor the title shot at 19:13.

Rating: B-. They weren’t exactly hiding this one and that’s ok. Having Balor pin Cena after coming in injured and having already wrestled a match earlier in the night is about as strong of a push as you can give someone and it should suit him very well going into the Rumble. The match was entertaining for what it was and that’s all this needed to be.

Post match Cena says he believes in Balor and says he’s the next Universal Champion.

Overall Rating: C+. Oh it’s the Road to Wrestlemania season alright. This was WAY better than previous weeks as stuff actually happened here and we had some fun. Getting rid of Strowman was a necessary move but at the same time it adds so much more energy to the whole show. Balor isn’t likely winning the title but at least he has the charisma to make me believe there’s a chance. The rest of the show was full of stuff and while I don’t agree with all of it, it’s still nice to have a thing or two actually feel different for a change. I’ll take this over what we’ve been having for the last few months with ease so call this one a success.

Results

Ronda Rousey/Sasha Banks b. Nia Jax/Tamina – Bank Statement to Tamina

Revival b. Lucha House Party – DDT to Metalik

Bayley/Natalya/Nikki Cross b. Riott Squad – Top rope elbow to Morgan

Finn Balor b. Jinder Mahal – Coup de Grace

Bobby Lashley b. Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins – Spear to Ambrose

Finn Balor b. Baron Corbin, John Cena and Drew McIntyre – Coup de Grace to Cena

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

Eddie Guerrero. If you honestly believe this show is about anyone but him, you’re completely wrong and missing the point. Tonight’s show is about milking as much as we possibly can out of Eddie’s dead body, because the entirety of the Smackdown main event scene until Wrestlemania (and even glimpses of it for years to come) would be about Rey Mysterio fighting for Eddie’s memory against people like Orton. I never have been comfortable with this but it is what it is. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle. The Rumble and Edge vs. Cena gets a little time as well.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Kid Kash is champion coming in and this is Texas Tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Helms is from Raw but is here because it’s an open invitational. It’s a big brawl to start and everyone gangs up on Helms. I don’t know if there was a delay of some sort or just a really bad sign, but there are dozens if not hundreds of empty seats visible in the lower arena, most of them opposite the hard camera.

Helms gets beaten into the corner but Kash pulls some other people off for no apparent reason. Nunzio slams Kash onto the mat for one Noble gets two on Nunzio off a powerslam as London hits a dropsalt for two on Noble and Nunzio. Wait apparently those red seats are stairs. Those are rather distracting and the seating structure is odd as there’s a group of about eight seats per row then another set of stairs as opposed to most arenas where there are about twice that many in a row. At least the place isn’t as empty as it seemed.

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Back in and London loads up a shooting star press onto Kash but Helms goes up top at the same time and hooks a swinging neckbreaker to bring London down for two. A brainbuster from Kash kills London again but two guys come in for the save. All six guys are back in the ring now and Kash gets two off a Backstabber on Nunzio. Funaki can’t hit a tornado DDT on Noble and gets caught in a gutbuster for trying. Noble gets sent to the floor by Helms and Gregory hits a Shining Wizard out of nowhere for the pin on Funaki and the title.

Rating: C+. What are you expecting to find here? It’s six guys in the ring all at once and going nuts on each other with spots. There isn’t supposed to be any sort of story or flow to it and there certainly wasn’t here. It was the right choice for an opener and the match worked well enough for its purpose. Fine but nothing memorable at all. Helms would hold the title for over a year.

Teddy gushes to Vince about how excited he is over the Rumble. Vince is happy because he has Torrie, Victoria and Candace Michelle doing the drawing. They were a heel Divas stable at the time which didn’t work at all. HHH and Orton come in to draw and only the latter seems pleased with his number. Amazingly enough, these guys got the EXACT SAME NUMBERS that Guerrero and Flair got when they came in to draw last year.

Trish is looking GREAT in a referee outfit when Mickie, currently the psycho lesbian, comes up and says she loves Trish. Ok then.

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Trish is referee and I didn’t realize she was in some barely there shorts. I miss Mickie wearing those skirts that often flew up above her waist. The problem with Ashley was simple: she wasn’t that good. Mickie cranks on the arm but Ashley counters into a wristlock of her own. Massaro armdrags Mickie down and it’s clearly Mickie flipping while Ashley moves her arm.

James heads to the floor to get a breather but Ashley hits a clothesline off the apron to take her down. Back in and Mickie snaps, basically turning heel mid-match. Mickie hooks a standing half crab to fill in some time as it’s clear Ashley has nothing to do here. We head to the floor where Mickie rams Ashley’s ribs into the post. Back in and Mickie hooks a bow and arrow hold to work on the back even more.

Ashley catches an incoming kick from Mickie and starts her “offense” but can barely hook a crucifix. The only good thing about it was Mickie’s skirt flying up but the rollup only gets two. Massaro shoves Ashley into the corner and the fans are openly booing now. She’s just absolutely horrible and thankfully Mickie kind of powerbombs her out of the corner for the sloppy pin.

Rating: D. Again, anything with Trish looking that hot involved can’t be considered a failure whatsoever. She was likely there because it was clear that the match was going to be horrible and the fans had to have something to be distracted by. Thankfully Trish and Mickie would get to have their excellent Mania match instead of another Ashley mess. Terrible stuff but hot women in tiny outfits make up for it.

Big Show draws his number. Rey comes in to talk about Eddie a bit. Apparently Eddie is joking with Rey by giving him this number.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

This is part of an ongoing feud, which involved Boogeyman eating a growth off of Jillian Hall’s face. Do yourself a favor and don’t ask. Oh and I forgot to mention the set. It’s themed like a coliseum with guards opening up the doors for the wrestlers to come in. They did that at some of the old King of the Rings and I still like it.

John hides behind Jillian for awhile and then bails to the floor, leaving the blonde chick to get stalked. Boogeyman puts worms in his mouth and spits them into Jillian’s mouth. Boogey gets sent to the floor and into the steps before JBL chokes away a bit more. The Clothesline misses and a pumphandle powerslam ends JBL in less than two minutes. I have no idea what the point of this was.

Mama Benjamin comes in and hits on Vince. Thankfully Shelton comes in to save Vince from a future paternity suit. Melina comes in to hit on Shelton but Mama takes him away quickly. Mama Benjamin was one of those ideas that didn’t make a ton of sense and didn’t accomplish anything but it certainly exists. MNM draws their numbers as well. Vince and hits girls sit on the couch to watch the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble, which says everyone thinks they’ll win. Vince is vindictive against Shawn around this time too. Apparently there will be some returns tonight as well.

Before the Rumble starts, the Spirit Squad comes out to give us a chant.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1 and Mysterio is #2, naturally coming out in a lowrider and an Eddie shirt. HHH tries to power him down to start but Rey comes back with kicks to the knee. Rey hits a headscissors to take HHH down and into the corner but HHH lifts him to the apron. Rey comes back with a springboard dropkick to the back but HHH ducks the 619. Simon Dean is #3 and goes after Rey to a bunch of boos. Dean sends him to the apron and wants a high five from HHH but gets punched in the face and hit by a seated senton. The elimination is academic.

Rey takes HHH down and hits a Bronco Buster as Psychosis is #4. He immediately goes after Rey before kicking HHH down. Psychosis busts out a freaky move where he hooks a Rock Bottom grip on Rey but lifts him into the air and slams Rey face down. Rey gets put in a Razor’s Edge position but ranas Psychosis out for the elimination. Ric Flair is #5 and goes right for HHH. They slug it out with Flair taking over but ducking his head into the facebuster. Ric comes back with a crotch grab but HHH rakes the eyes and backdrops Flair out.

Big Show, who hates HHH at the moment, is #6. They were feuding at this time, I believe over HHH injuring Big Show’s hand with the hammer. Show chops him in the corner and HHH falls forward onto Show’s chest. A headbutt keeps Rey down and there’s a side slam to HHH. Like an idiot, Big Show picks up HHH and slams him to the mat instead of to the floor. Coach is #7 and makes it about thirty seconds before Show puts him out.

Show does that stupid slam thing to HHH AGAIN. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt him or anything. The chokeslam takes HHH down again and here’s Lashley at #8. He and Show slug it out with Show getting backdropped to the mat. Kane, Big Show’s tag champion partner at this point, is #9. He and Lashley stare it down and Kane kicks Lashley’s head off.

Lashley immediately comes back with an overhead belly to belly and a third press slam to HHH. Kane takes a Dominator and Sylvan, the “Smackdown fashion consultant” is #10 and lasts about 18 seconds before Lashley throws him out. Unfortunately he turns around and gets caught in a double chokeslam followed by the elimination. The partners quickly turn on each other with Kane getting a boot up to stop a charging Show. They fight to the ropes and HHH runs up to throw them both out, emulating the same thing Shawn did in 1996 with Vader and Yokozuna.

Carlito is #11 and goes for Mysterio as is the theme tonight. There’s a Backstabber to put Rey down in the corner, where he’s been for a lot of the match tonight. Carlito punches HHH down and here’s Benoit at #12. Everyone gets a German and Carlito taps to a Crossface which means nothing here. HHH breaks it up for no apparent reason and whips Benoit hard into the corner.

The Game puts Benoit on the apron and they fight over a suplex with Benoit winding up on the top rope. Benoit headbutts HHH down and hits the Swan Dive before Booker T is #13. He’s US Champion here and in tights, which suggests an injury to me. Oh yeah he’s barely moving out there and just letting Benoit chop him. Benoit dumps him in about 20 seconds so yeah Booker must have been hurt.

Benoit chops on HHH until Joey Mercury is #14. Mercury fires off dropkicks but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Carlito jumps Benoit to break it up and Mercury pounds on Benoit a bit. Freaking Tatanka is #15, giving us a group of Mysterio, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury and Tatanka. Seriously why did the bring TATANKA back? He fires off chops as the fans do the Seminole chant.

Johnny Nitro is #16 to give us the Smackdown tag champions in the ring at the same time. HHH is upside down as Tatanka chops Nitro down. Nitro is John Morrison if you don’t remember him. Mysterio is finally back to his feet after being down for about half the time he’s been in the match. Trevor Murdoch is #17 and chops away on Tatanka as the match calms down again. Eugene is #18 and immediately Hulks Up, hooking an airplane spin on Murdoch. Mysterio hits a double bulldog to take both guys down to remind us that he’s still there.

Road Warrior Animal is #18 and immediately takes MNM’s heads off with a double clothesline. A powerslam puts Nitro down and we hit another lull. RVD is #20 and is back for the first time in nearly a year. Animal and Benoit have a staredown until Benoit gets kicked in the face. RVD kicks MNM down and backdrops Animal out to finally clear some room out in the ring.

Orlando Jordan is #21 and no one cares. Van Dam hits a kick to Carlito’s face off the top and Chavo Guerrero is #22. Nitro takes Three Amigos but Chavo goes up and is immediately knocked out by HHH. Matt Hardy is #23 and hits the Twist of Fate on Jordan. RVD and Rey combine to get HHH to the apron but they can’t get him out. MNM put out Tatanka and there are way too many people in this match with three letter initials. Super Crazy is #24 and literally flips to the ring.

At the moment we’ve got HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, RVD, Jordan, Hardy, Crazy and now Shawn Michaels at #25. Why are there THIRTEEN PEOPLE in the ring at once? Everyone swarms Shawn but he punches them all off until Murdoch gets in some shots on him in the corner. There goes Trevor and Carlito knocks Shawn to the apron but not out.

Chris Masters is #26 and Hardy sends HHH to the apron. Viscera is #27 in his World’s Largest Love Machine period. He sits on Matt and does his anal rape thing as Mercury saves himself from being eliminated. Matt gets some boots up in the corner but is thrown out pretty quickly thereafter. Shelton is #28 and Benoit eliminates Eugene. Goldust returns at #29 and chops a bunch of people to no reaction.

Orton is FINALLY #30, giving us a final group of HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, RVD, Jordan, Crazy, HBK, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE MATCH. To give you an idea of how lame the star power is other than like three people in this, the final five were Masters, Viscera, Shelton, Goldust and Orton. Other than Randy that’s like a medium budget indy show, not the last five entrants to the Royal Rumble.

Randy almost immediately puts out Benoit. Seriously? You can’t put out Masters or Jordan? It just HAD TO BE Benoit??? An RKO takes down Viscera so Masters and Carlito can throw him out. Carlito immediately turns on his partner and dumps Masters. Goldie loads up Shattered Dreams on Carlito and gets in a good kick, only to be eliminated by RVD. Orton puts out Jordan and Shawn and HHH finally go at it. MNM double teams Shawn but gets eliminated for their efforts.

Shawn has to skin the cat to stay in and turns into a kick to the head from Shelton. Michaels is cool with that and sends Shelton to the apron followed by a superkick to eliminate him. This brings out Vince who hates Shawn and the distraction lets Shane run in and dump HBK. Shawn is ticked and runs back in and superkicks HHH after escaping a Pedigree attempt. He goes after Vince but a single referee stops him. Ok then.

We’re down to Carlito, Van Dam, HHH, Mysterio and Orton. Van Dam kicks Carlito out and we’re down to four. Van Dam kicks Orton in the head and teams up with Mysterio to beat on the Evolution guys. Rob goes up top but HHH crotches him and sends Rey into the corner to knock Van Dam out, getting us down to three. Evolution teams up on Rey but he knocks them both into the ropes for a double 619. Orton takes the seated senton but HHH clotheslines Rey down.

Orton powerslams HHH down but the RKO is countered into a spinebuster. HHH goes after Rey and gets flipped out to get us down to two. Cole’s voice is almost gone. HHH, ever the nice guy, pulls Rey to the floor and sends him into the steps. Mysterio is basically dead so Orton takes his sweet time. That’s his downfall though, as Rey counters the elimination attempt into a rana and sends Orton out for the win. Naturally he had to be #2 which the WWE considers less than #1 for absolutely no apparent reason, but that’s HHH for you.

Rating: C-. This isn’t a bad match, but man alive is it boring. There are three major problems in this match. First of all, there were WAY too many people in the ring at most given times. Like I said, once Orton got in there we had fifteen people in the ring at once. That’s double what the number should be around and it clutters things up way too much with that many people in there.

Second, as I touched on near the end, the talent pool was pretty shallow here. I mean, MNM aren’t bad but they don’t need to be in the final grouping of the Rumble. Guys like Masters and Carlito should have been eliminated earlier but just stuck in there. That gets old fast and it was begging for someone like Shawn to come in there and eliminate like five guys at once.

Finally, since there were so many people in there at once, it was hard to focus on any single story. You had stuff like HHH trying to go wire to wire but that got lost in the shuffle. Rey was on the mat for long stretches of time so he wasn’t really noticed either. Shawn’s issues with Vince only popped up for the elimination and were only touched on. When you can’t focus on one thing, you can’t focus on anything and that makes for a dull match. One good thing was that Rey wasn’t a guaranteed winner, so there was some drama. It’s not a bad Rumble but it was badly run.

Mickie comes in to hit on Trish as she does an interview on WWE.com.

Rey celebrates when Edge comes in and says don’t even think of challenging him at Mania.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB back at Mania and waited nine months before cashing in on Cena after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber. Tonight is the rematch three weeks later.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena walks across a catwalk that lowered from the ceiling and hops in over the top. You know, in case it’s wasn’t clear enough that Edge had no chance here. Cena clotheslines him down to start but has to chase Edge back inside, allowing the champion to send Cena into the buckle. We head to the floor again with Cena having to avoid Lita and getting sent into the steps as a result. A baseball slide sends Cena over the barricade and the match stops again.

Edge tries for a countout but Cena DIVES back in at nine. Back in and Cena pounds away but charges into a spinwheel kick for two from the Canadian. Edge punches Cena to the floor again but goes after him instead of going for the countout again. Cena gets sent into the steps and back inside a missile dropkick gets two for the champion. Edge loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, only to avoid a guillotine legdrop from Cena.

Cena grabs a quick FU attempt but Edge counters into a rollup for two. A big boot puts Cena down but he rolls through a top rope cross body for two. Edge tries a rear naked choke of all things which Cena eventually breaks up. The spear misses and there’s a DDT to put both guys down. It’s Cena up first to start his finishing sequence but Lita distracts the referee. Edge misses a charge and is sent into Lita, setting up Cena for the FU and STFU to get the title back.

Rating: D+. This was a world title match at the Royal Rumble? Why? Edge never felt like he had Cena in trouble and the match wasn’t anything that you would remember five minutes after it ended. Lita’s cleavage was awesome but when that’s the best thing about a match….well you shouldn’t be surprised because it often was in Edge’s matches, but still, pretty lame match here that made Edge look like a footnote. Obviously that would change, but not a good start for him here.

Edge freaks out on Todd Grisham in the back. Edge storms off and Lita panics a bit. We get a random Hacksaw Jim Duggan cameo (does anyone do those better?) to call her a HO!

We recap Angle vs. Henry. Batista had been scheduled to face henry but tore his triceps and had to vacate the title. Angle won the title in a battle royal and gets to defend here. The idea is that Henry is way too strong for Angle. Seriously, that’s the story. Why this main evented the show isn’t quite clear.

Angle is all I’M THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD and no one can beat me. He leaves but comes back to tell Mark Henry that he SUCKS. This version of Angle was AWESOME, as he would just go out there and go beast mode on everyone and make them look like fools trying to keep up with him. Also he was perfect for a quick title reign like this as no one would question him popping up out of nowhere and taking the title. Those kind of people are hard to find but Kurt was one of them.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Angle gets overpowered to start. That’s about all there is to say for the first two minutes or so, as Kurt keeps getting shoved around and then taken to the floor. Henry whips him into the steps and then stands on Angle’s chest back inside. We hit a bearhug for a bit until Angle hiptosses out of it. He tries a cross body like an imbecile but rolls out of the World’s Strongest Slam. The ankle lock and Angle Slam are no good so Henry clubs him down again.

Instead Angle hits a German (kind of) to put both guys down. The Angle Slam gets two (duh) and the ankle lock is broken up again. The counter causes the referee to get bumped so Angle gets a chair. A low blow and two chair shots take Henry down for two, so Angle takes a buckle off. Kurt drop toeholds him into the buckle and rolls Henry up to retain. Our hero everyone.

Rating: D. Seriously, why was this……

And a gong strikes. That’s why.

As for the match, it sucked pretty terribly. Why would we buy Henry as a potential champion here after him showing no proof of being at that level? The match wasn’t even ten minutes long, making it feel much more like a TV match than a PPV title match. I know they wanted to do the big ending with Taker, but there had to be a better way to do it.

Taker comes out in a freaking horse drawn chariot and motions that he wants the title. Then he shoots lightning from his hands at the stuff over the ring, before slamming his arms down to send lightning at the posts. The ring collapses to end the show. Yeah that happened.

Overall Rating: D. I watched this show over the course of two days, and honestly the only thing that came to my mind other than the last ten minutes of it was how Trish looked in that referee outfit. That’s how completely forgettable this show is. Nothing came out of this show as Cena was champion all over again, making the last three weeks feel like nothing. Nothing to see here and definitely not worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Original: C-

Redo: D

Boogeyman vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: F-

Redo: N/A

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: C-

John Cena vs. Edge

Original: B

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

What was I on for that Edge vs. Cena match?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/25/royal-rumble-count-up-2006-eddie-guerrero-puts-on-a-mask-and-wins-the-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s time for a new set of guys to take their place on top of the company and what better time to do that than at the Rumble? Other than the Rumble, we’ve got the final blowoff of Orton vs. HHH in a feud that still makes me shake my head to this day. Also it’s Big Show vs. JBL vs. Angle for the Smackdown Title in a match that sounds so uninteresting I’d rather watch last year’s show all over again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed like a clock counting down in the Rumble. Cool idea there.

I almost forgot: this is the West Side Rumble, which is actually designed on a theme of West Side Story, as in gangs of Raw and Smackdown guys snapping their fingers and singing. Remember that THIS was considered the best idea and that someone received a paycheck for doing this. Let that sink in when you’re unemployed next time.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge is mad that he didn’t get the title shot at Taboo Tuesday and is finally turning heel, which he would be for years to come. Edge jumps Shawn before Shawn can take off his vest, only to get sent back to the floor by Shawn. Back in and Shawn chops away in the corner but Edge comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to take over. Edge is embracing the evil here and pokes Shawn in the eye but it only ticks Shawn off, resulting in a Thesz Press by Shawn.

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

As Shawn fights up, Edge slams him right back down to stop the comeback before doing Shawn’s pose. Shawn gets guillotined on the top but Edge jumps into a punch to the ribs for two. Shawn counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two but Edge clotheslines him right back down. We hit the chinlock again although for far less time here. Michaels comes back with an atomic drop and they mistime something pretty badly with Shawn waiting on one side of the ring while Edge stumbles around on the other side.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but at nearly 20 minutes it’s too long. I’m not sure if I like the ending or not either, as Edge cheating shows that he’s embracing the heel turn, but I don’t think cheating and then hitting a move like another spear would have been a bad choice either. Still though, solid way to further Edge’s turn and a very long opener, which isn’t a terrible idea.

Teddy and Eric banter about who is going to win. Apparently we’re doing the old school tumbler thing to draw numbers with. Flair and Eddie come in (Flair hits on Torrie of course) to draw and Flair is very happy with his number. Eddie is disappointed, so he picks Flair’s pocket and steals his number. See, THIS is the kind of stuff we need more of. It enforces Eddie’s character and is funny at the same time, unlike the stupid stuff we get today that doesn’t help anyone.

Heidenreich is panicking about caskets when Snitsky comes up. Heavy breathing ensues and Snitsky says he has an idea.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Basically Heidenreich wants to replace Undertaker is his chance in a casket match. Most people didn’t think much of Heidenreich and they would wind up being proven correct. He would be followed by Great Khali in the long line of strange guys to face Undertaker.

The casket is brought out.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Taker grabs a headlock to start and pulls Heidenreich towards the casket but (Jon) Heidenreich runs away. That works so well that we do it again and Jon is terrified. Since that didn’t quite work, Taker hooks the leg with a half crab, causing Heidenreich to crawl towards the ropes in front of the casket. As we ignore the problem of crawling to the ropes, Jon bails to the floor to take the fight out there.

Heidenreich sends Taker into the casket and pounds his head into it, which apparently isn’t a problem for him. Back in and Heidenreich pounds away in the corner, only to get caught in a modified triangle choke. Taker pulls the hold down to the mat and Heidenreich is almost out, so here’s Snitsky to break up the hold. After a double suplex to Taker, the monsters start pulling him to the casket…..which has Kane inside.

Kane, who was feuding with Snitsky over Snitsky punting a plastic version of the baby that Kane’s wife Lita (just go with it) lost, destroys both guys and takes Snitsky into the crowd. Heidenreich starts shoving the casket away very slowly before slamming Taker into the steps. Heidenreich slides the casket into Taker, which looks rather stupid as Taker had nothing behind him to be crushed against but whatever.

Back in and Jon puts on a cobra clutch which chokes Taker out enough to get him into the casket. Well mostly in at least as Taker sticks an arm out and chokes away. With Heidenreich’s torso in the casket, Taker drops the apron legdrop in the spot of the match. Back in and Heidenreich is suddenly fine, pounding away on the Dead Man and hitting a Boss Man Slam for a cover. Taker chokes his way out of the casket and wins a slugout, followed by a bad running DDT. Chokeslam and tombstone hit and we’re done.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. At the end of the day, Heidenreich just didn’t work at all and he never came close to it. This was supposed to be a preview of Snitsky/Heidenreich vs. Kane/Taker at Mania, but thankfully they went with Kane in MITB and Taker vs. Orton in a great match, whereas Snitsky and Heidenreich didn’t even make it onto the show.

Teddy yells at Eddie to get Flair’s number back. Evolution comes in and a beatdown nearly ensues. Eddie has to give the number back, and he throws in Flair’s wallet too. Batista is going to go draw for the Rumble but HHH wants to talk about the match with Orton. Tensions flare but Flair calms things down. I think I smell a showdown.

Christian is here to draw his number and he’s well pleased. Cena shows up and hits on Christy but Christian isn’t pleased. He says rapping isn’t hard and challenges Cena to a battle rap. Tomko won’t give Christian a beat so he has to go it alone. Christian actually rhymes a bit but can’t rhyme charisma. Cena makes gay jokes and isn’t nearly as funny as Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This match has a backstory that isn’t important enough to explain to us. Apparently Angle had a last man standing match with JBL but the winner is even less important than the backstory. JBL is defending. Angle bails to the floor to start so Show runs over JBL a few times. There’s the loud chop in the corner followed by a legdrop which finally draws Angle into the ring for a save.

Now it’s Kurt getting a big chop in the corner. Cole says that’s like getting hit in the chest with a skillet. My question continues to be: how does anyone know what that feels like? Is that what goes on at WWE headquarters when there aren’t any shows on? Show clotheslines both guys to the floor to a surprisingly big reaction. Angle tries a German on the floor which fails completely, so Show picks up the steps.

Show loads up the announce table and climbs the steps to chokeslam JBL through said table. Before he can though, Angle hits Show low and blasts him with a monitor, knocking Show through the table. Back inside and Angle puts JBL in an armbar followed by a keylock. Kurt rolls the Germans but walks into a big boot for two. Big Show gets back in and there’s a double clothesline and headbutts all around. He slams Angle onto JBL to a big reaction. When did Big Show get this popular? Both guys get crushed in the corner and another double clothesline puts both guys down.

Show loads up a double chokeslam but the other guys go High/Low to take Show down. Angle Germans JBL down and hits a bad Angle Slam which gives JBL two. There’s a chokeslam to JBL but he gets a foot on the rope. Out to the floor and Show spears JBL through the barricade in his signature spot, putting all three guys down.

Back in and Angle goes after Show with a chair but gets flapjacked face first onto the steel. Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, Angle’s lackeys, come out for the save as JBL’s Cabinet try to wake up the champion. Show beats up Jindrak and Reigns as Orlando Jordan puts JBL in the ring for the Clothesline to pin Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

Batista won’t sign Carlito’s petition to get rid of Teddy Long. Carlito loads up the apple, looks at Batista, and swallows. Funny bit.

Batista goes to draw his number and hears Bischoff bar Evolution from ringside for the next match. Big Dave seems very happy to tell HHH.

Long video recapping HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other, Orton was never supposed to get another shot, so tonight he gets another shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending. This is when Orton was still young and a not quite plucky face. He punches Orton to the floor and gets two off a dropkick back inside. HHH pounds away in the corner but gets caught in Snake Eyes to stop him cold again. Orton tries the RKO again but gets dumped to the floor, which thankfully doesn’t break his shoulder again. HHH sends him into the steps and heads back in for some knees to Orton’s back.

The Game goes after the taped up knee and wraps it around the post because he can. HHH modifies the cannonball down onto the leg by dropping an elbow instead of sitting on it. After a quick attempt at a small package by Orton, HHH puts on a LONG Figure Four, lasting way longer than almost any other I can remember. Orton finally turns it over, sending HHH retreating to the floor.

Orton sends him over the announce table and pounds away before heading back in for his backbreaker. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Orton as does a regular one. The powerslam by Orton gets two as he doesn’t seem interested in selling the knee at all. HHH counters punching in the corner into an atomic drop to slow things down again. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets armdragged down, allowing Orton to hit a top rope cross body (his old finisher) for two.

Orton counters a Pedigree attempt into a catapult but HHH counters the RKO for at least the third time before hitting the high knee for two. Randy is bleeding from the lip. The Pedigree is escaped again and Orton gets two off a clothesline. The champ rolls to the floor again and gets sent into the steps for trying to hide. Back in and Orton pounds away in the corner, only to miss a DDT attempt and possibly give himself a concussion.

The referee looks at Orton to stall even more, as I think they’re going for some big emotional moment where Orton fights through adversity. HHH charges at Orton and knocks out the referee at the same time. It’s hammer time but HHH misses his charge and hits the post. Back inside and Orton gets the hammer, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline. HHH throws away the hammer and hits the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: D+. As usual, these two do not work well together at all. This was one of their worse matches too, as Orton never seemed to have HHH even remotely in danger at all. At the end, HHH had Orton dead to rites for a long time and won clean (he never used the hammer) with a Pedigree. Orton’s face push was killed dead here so he had to turn heel and feud with the Undertaker soon after this. Not a good match and kind of headscratching booking.

Angle literally steals Nunzio’s number and spot in the Rumble.

Teddy tells JBL and company that Jibbles has to defend the title against Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Royal Rumble

Eddie Guerrero is #1 and Benoit is #2. Dang Benoit is on a run of bad luck in these things. I think we’ve got 90 second intervals again here. Feeling out process to start and they get into a technical standoff of course. Eddie hooks one of the few chinlocks in Rumble history until Daniel Puder, the winner of Tough Enough 4 (beating Mike MIZanin in the finals) is #3. He gets on the mic and says that he’ll be the first Tough Enough Champion to win the Rumble, drawing “are you serious” glares from Benoit and Eddie.

Benoit and Eddie fire off chops in the corner followed by a double suplex because they can. Eddie hits Three Amigos and Hardcore Holly is #4. Holly asks if he can have some fun with Puder and rips some skin off with chops in the corner. Benoit and Eddie get in some chops of their own before Holly kicks Puder low, hits the Alabama Slam, and throws him out. Hurricane is #5 as Guerrero and Benoit dump Holly.

Hurricane gets double teamed but Eddie tries a double cross, only to get chopped for his efforts. Hurricane hits a Blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him down and whips him into Eddie for the elimination. Kenzo Suzuki (one of the most forgettable footnotes in wrestling history) is #6. Just like everyone else, Benoit and Eddie pound on him in the corner with chops and suplexes, but Benoit turns on Eddie ala earlier but only throws him to the apron.

Edge is #7 to a BIG pop. He beats on everyone in sight but gets clotheslined down by Benoit. Rey Mysterio is #8 and my goodness does Suzuki look out of place in there. Thankfully Rey headscissors him out about twenty seconds after entering, getting us down to an AWESOME tag match if they ever got around to doing it. Edge goes after Guerrero and here’s Shelton Benjamin, the current IC Champion and on pure fire at this point, at #9.

There isn’t a bad combination in the ring at the moment. Benoit tries to dump Rey but Eddie tries to put both of them out. Shelton can’t eliminate Edge so he walks into a headscissors from Rey instead. Here’s Booker at #10 to keep the talent level high. Question for discussion: who is the worst worker in the ring at the moment? Here’s Eric Bischoff to cheer on the Raw guys as Benoit puts Eddie in a Boston Crab.

Jericho is #11 to a BIG pop. Teddy Long comes out to cheer as well as various people beat on each other. Luther Reigns is #12 to stop the hot streak dead. With four Raw guys (Benoit, Edge, Jericho and Benjamin) and four Smackdown guys (Booker, Luther, Mysterio and Guerrero), it’s time for a showdown ala the West Side Rumble that the show is based on. That’s a cool idea in theory, but what happened to the “every man for himself” concept?

Muhammad Hassan is #13 and the match stops cold. Everyone surrounds Hassan and the group beatdown is on. The fans REALLY dig this, which says a lot about Hassan’s potential. He was going to win the world title over Batista in Washington DC at Summerslam, but real life issues got in his way. Hassan is out in less than a minute and here’s Orlando Jordan at #14. Tazz says we can compare Jordan to Benjamin. Other than a good look, talent, charisma or fan interest, they are indeed neck and neck.

Scotty 2 Hotty is #15 but Hassan jumps him in the aisle, keeping him from ever getting into the ring. Taker beat him down in the aisle in 2002 also so it’s not the best even for Mr. Hotty. The ring is getting too full now but most of the guys are talented enough that I can live with it. Charlie Haas is #16 and Luther is put out by Booker, as is Jordan. That clears things out a bit. Booker stops for a Spinarooni and charges into a low bridge from Eddie to get rid of him.

Renee Dupree is #17, giving us Benoit, Guerrero, Edge, Mysterio, Haas, Jericho, Benjamin and Dupree. The World’s Greatest Tag Team hits their Shelton jumps over Charlie spot to Renee but Shelton misses a splash in the corner and gets dumped by Edge. Simon Dean is #18 but he stops to do exercises on the floor before getting in. JR goes off on him in a funny bit. Eddie stops to look at him and Edge dumps Guerrero as a result.

Shawn is #19 and superkicks Simon out, doing some Hindu Squats to celebrate. Edge tries to corner Mysterio in a corner. JR: “Makes a lot of sense.” Shawn backdrops Charlie out and Kurt Angle is #20. He hits Angle Slams on everything in sight but tries the ankle lock on Shawn. Michaels rolls through and superkicks Angle out after less than 40 seconds. Coach is #21 and you can hear JR groan. He gets in a single shot on Benoit and runs to hide.

Edge tries to put Mysterio out and here’s Jindrak at #22. Angle comes back in and dumps Michaels before blasting him with the steps and putting him in the ankle lock. I’m thinking we need a masterpiece at Wrestlemania to settle this. Viscera is #23 and he pounds on everyone in sight. Paul London is #24 and nearly slides out of the ring from sliding in so far. Dupree takes him down but stops to dance, allowing Jericho to dump him.

London gets sent to the apron but slides back in as Cena (BIG pop) is #25. He gets in a shot on everyone and backdrops Viscera out. Cena and Benoit slug it out as Snitsky is #26. He’s still kind of a threat at this point and runs over everyone in sight. Londdon gets knocked to the apron again and hit with a HUGE clothesline for an even bigger backflip off the apron to the floor. That made a lot of highlight reels.

Snitsky and Cena stare each other down and John takes a big boot. Kane is #27 complete with pyro. Tazz: “WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT OVER HERE??? THIS IS NUTS!!!” Chokeslams all around as London is taken out on a stretcher. Jindrak goes out thanks to Kane and Coach of all people tries to avenge him. Batista is #28 and the pop that Cena got looks like a whimper. Snitsky is gone immediately and it’s time for a showdown with Kane. The crowd is WAY into Batista as he powerbombs Kane.

There goes Jericho thanks to Big Dave but Edge hangs on. Christian is #29 and he goes right after Cena. Cena is all like BRING IT ON and stomps Christian down in the corner. Rey hits a 619 on Kane and Cena FU’s the monster out. Flair is #30, giving us a final group of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batsita, Christian and Flair. Not bad at all with one exception. Evolution teams up for a spinebuster on Coach for the elimination before doing the same to Christian.

Benoit chops away at Flair but walks into a spinebuster and the elimination by Ric. Flair goes for a toss out of Batista but gets glared at in response. Edge and Mysterio dropkick Batista down and Edge dumps Flair, getting us down to Edge, Mysterio, Cena and Batista. Edge spears Cena and Batista down but Mysterio avoids the one coming at him. There’s a 619 to the Canadian but a springboard legdrop misses and Edge spears Rey out. Edge charges at Cena and we’re down to Cena vs. Batista.

The fans REALLY like this (and they’re in red(ish) and blue to match their brands) and the staredown is on. Cena slaps away (clearly open handed) and tries the FU over the top but Batista blocks it. Dave loads up the Bomb but Cena fights out of it and they head to the ropes where both fall out, seemingly at the same time. Seriously, it’s so close you can’t fairly say one of them went out first.

We have a split decision, so here’s Vince to charge out, slide into the ring….and destroy his knees and rip both of his quadriceps at the exact same time. While Vince sits on the mat (and hopefully doesn’t seeing Batista dying laughing), both guys throw each other out and Vince restarts the match. Why this means we don’t start with Benoit and Guerrero again isn’t explained but it’s spinebuster and elimination for Batista, sending Big Dave to the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. I don’t remember liking this as much the first time around but this was really good stuff. That segment in the first part with all the talent was reminiscent of the 1990 edition where there was a string of incredibly talented guys to start things off. Then things slowed down a bit, but once Cena hit the crowd, who was already red hot all night, got turned up to white levels and things went through the roof. Goofy ending (which wasn’t planned) aside, this was great stuff and a forgotten classic Rumble.

Overall Rating: B. This is a solid show overall with only the casket match being really bad. The Raw Title match isn’t terrible but it’s not worth watching either, especially with Orton’s lack of selling being horrible. Batista and Cena would of course go on to Wrestlemania to win both world titles and dominate the company for years to come, making this a truly game changing show. Good stuff here and certainly worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B-

The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D-

Redo: D

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: B-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Like I said, I liked the Rumble a lot more this time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/24/royal-rumble-count-up-2005-the-rise-of-the-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: August 12, 2004
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and things are mostly set for the pay per view. The big story (if you can call it that) coming out of last week’s show is Orlando Jordan joining forces with JBL, meaning it’s probably time for Jordan to die at Undertaker’s hands. Other than that we’ll be in for some last minute pushes towards the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are JBL and Orlando Jordan to open things up. After a quick look at the mini Undertaker and Jordan saving JBL last week, JBL paraphrases Richard Nixon by saying that he is not a midget. He’s certainly not intimidated by Undertaker though he’s certainly respectful of what Undertaker has done in WWE. JBL lists off a variety of names that Undertaker has defeated over his career but JBL isn’t on that list.

Undertaker may have few weaknesses, but JBL is going to exploit them at Summerslam. Championships are won in the ring, which is where JBL defies the odds. At Summerslam, JBL will not only remain WWE Champion but defeat the Undertaker. That brings him to Jordan, who is both a great American and JBL’s new Chief of Staff.

Jordan says JBL has taught him that you have to take something you want, which is why he stopped Undertaker last week. Not that JBL needed the help or anything. JBL compares Jordan to the troops overseas and announces that it’s Jordan vs. Undertaker tonight. They’re trying to hide the fact that Jordan is Jordan and it’s not really working.

Spike Dudley vs. Paul London

Non-title. The Dudleys vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman/London is confirmed for Summerslam. Speaking of the Dudleys, they come out to start things off, complete with Bubba wearing a bandanna for an odd look. London gets sent outside early on and Kidman stares the Dudleys down to prevent violence. Back in and the Dudley Dog is blocked and London kicks him in the face for two. An enziguri drops Spike again but Ray breaks up the 450, allowing Spike to get a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Short angle advancement here as the Dudleys win because of the numbers game. I’m still not sold on Spike as the evil boss but there are worse storylines to get upset about around here. London and Kidman still can’t get away from the Dudleys, which isn’t doing their title reign any favors. Not a terrible match, but it wasn’t exactly designed to be a great one.

Post match the Dudleys beat the champs down.

Cole and Tazz explain the main event, which is called a Summer Games Relay. It’s a six man tag, but the catch is the match is made up of five minute periods. One person each will start for five minutes, then there’s a coin toss. The winning team gets to send in a replacement for five minutes. After that is over, the team that lost the toss gets to send in their replacement for five minutes. They keep alternating every five minutes until there’s a fall. That doesn’t sound bad.

Heidenreich and Paul Heyman will be at Summerslam.

Scotty 2 Hotty asks what’s up with Spike. It’s simple: Spike has just come home to his family and it’s gotten him the Cruiserweight Title. So who needs friends? A slap to the face looks to set up a fight but Bubba and D-Von intervene.

Kurt Angle comes in to Theodore Long’s office to rant about Eddie Guerrero selling his stuff. Long says it was for charity and offers to let Angle call Eddie out tonight. But is Kurt man enough to go out there and do it? Angle says he is, so Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Nunzio

Nunzio has Johnny the Bull with him. Chavo works on the arm to start but gets taken down into a front facelock. That’s broken up so a Johnny distraction lets Nunzio snap off a hurricanrana. Chavo is fine enough to hit a t-bone suplex but the Gory Bomb is reversed. A rollup with a grab of the ropes gives Chavo two as Johnny breaks it up. Nunzio grabs a rollup of his own for the pin, even though Chavo seemed to get his shoulder up. Nothing special but quite the random filler match.

Undertaker vs. Orlando Jordan

There’s smoke in the ring as a loud TAKER chant starts up. The arm cranking begins but Jordan shoulders away in the corner to break up Old School. Undertaker charges into a boot in the corner and Jordan stomps away. That’s pretty much it for Jordan’s offense as it’s a chokeslam to send him outside. Back in and Old School connects, setting up something like a DDT for two.

The required JBL distraction lets Jordan get in a low blow and a few right hands. Undertaker realizes how bad it looks to sell for this goof and throws Jordan outside again, only to get thrown into the steps. Back in again and the jumping clothesline sets up the running corner clothesline. Snake Eyes connects but JBL comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D-. There’s just no way around it: Jordan is terrible at just about everything he does and having Undertaker sell for him wasn’t a good idea. Undertaker is challenging for the World Title in three days and he’s in trouble against Jordan? There’s a reason that Jordan hasn’t been around in months and this showed just how bad he was. Really bad match and I don’t see it getting any better.

The villains bail and Undertaker sits up for the stare.

Here’s Long to talk about Angle vs. Guerrero at Summerslam. Angle and Guerrero come out with Eddie asking about Angle’s wheelchair and the missing Luther Reigns. Since Angle doesn’t have anywhere to hide, he has to say something to Eddie’s face. Angle says he doesn’t have to hide because he had a legitimate injury. Eddie has no idea what it’s like to have something taken from you like that, but Eddie says that’s what Angle did to him when he stole the WWE Championship.

Angle brings up Eddie stealing his stuff (Eddie: “That was for a good cause!”) and then showing that footage from Wrestlemania where Eddie stole a victory. It’s just a way of hiding the fact that Eddie has to cheat to beat him. Maybe it’s true that Eddie can’t beat him without cheating, maybe he can. That’s what we need to find out on Sunday because Angle can’t hide behind his General Manager position any longer. Maybe Angle doesn’t know if he can beat Eddie either.

Long cuts them off and says that in the spirit of competition, he wants to see a handshake, if they’re man enough that is. They shake hands rather aggressively to end a very good segment. This is a well told story with both guys having a reason to be here. They’ve built it up over several months and I want to see what’s going to be a great match. Sometimes it really is that simple.

Team Cena vs. Team Booker T.

Rob Van Dam, Charlie Haas, John Cena

Booker T., Luther Reigns, Rene Dupree

One fall to a finish with Van Dam and Booker starting. Why it’s not Captain Cena starting isn’t clear but maybe they want to save that showdown for the first of at least three matches at Summerslam. Team Booker already won the toss so they’ll get the first replacement after five minutes. The rules are a little complicated but it sounds fun. Before the match, Cena praises his teammates and likes Jackie’s eyes. Yes eyes.

Booker and Van Dam trade hammerlocks to start with Rob getting the better of an armbar. A hot shot gets Booker out of trouble and the hook kick to the face gets two. The armbar doesn’t get Booker very far so he chops away in the corner. Rob is right back with a loud kick to the head and the step over kick gets two more. There’s a jumping kick to the face and the Five Star but the first period expires, meaning Luther Reigns comes in before the pin. The beatdown is on and we take a break.

Back with Rob throwing some right hands and hitting the springboard kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gets two but Reigns catches him with a spinebuster to end the second period. That means Haas comes into tie Luther’s leg in the ropes and pull on it a bit. A quick crank of the leg and a takedown keeps the leg in trouble but Reigns is right up with a butterfly suplex. Haas gets clotheslined for two and a belly to back gets the same.

Back from another break with Rene working over a beaten down Haas. Rene takes a bit too long going up top though and gets dropkicked out of the air. That and a bridging German suplex give Haas two, followed by more suplexes for more two’s. Booker trips Haas from the floor though and Rene grabs an STF (which might be worse than Cena’s) until time expires. Cena comes in and, after checking on Haas, takes Rene down for some bad right hands to the head. A running neckbreaker out of the corner gets Dupree out of trouble and it’s off to a camel clutch.

Cena breaks up that and a regular chinlock but misses the flying shoulder. The French Tickler wastes some time, but Tazz does get to sing about it which is always a highlight. Another comeback includes the FU attempt but Dupree grabs the rope to kill off the rest of the time. Booker comes in again and hits the hooking kick to the face. A You Can’t See Me knee drop gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Cena fights up and drops Booker to the floor, with Van Dam getting in a few shots. Tazz declares that not kosher, especially as Cena rolls Booker up for the pin.

Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t awesome here but they did have a unique idea and it was perfectly watchable throughout. Cena getting the pin ahead of Sunday is fine, even if that match doesn’t mean anything on that night. It was fun and different though, which is certainly better than watching some of the same stuff over and over again, which happens far too often.

A brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s a tale of two shows here with the main event working and the JBL/Orlando Jordan stuff being rather awful. There’s not much you can do to get around a lack of talent and WWE doesn’t seem to get that with Jordan. At least there was some other stuff to balance it out, but that’s not exactly enough to make this show work. Angle and Eddie were awesome and that helped a lot, but they couldn’t make up for the rest of the show being pretty lame.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: January 10, 2019
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson

Now this one should be interesting. Earlier this week it wasn’t clear if this show was going to feature the debut of some of the NXT callups. Their matches took place with Main Event graphics up but it wasn’t clear if the matches were taped for the show or not. If nothing else, another studio show wouldn’t be that bad. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Yep it’s a studio show.

From Raw.

Bobby Lashley/Drew McIntyre/Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins/John Cena/Finn Balor

We start fast with Balor working on Lashley’s arm but getting knocked into the corner. Ambrose comes in and gets caught with a basement dropkick, only to drag Balor into the corner for a hard chop from McIntyre. The beatdown continues with Lashley hitting a chinlock but not being able to hit the spinning Dominator. Balor gets up some boots in the corner (it’s always the boots) but Lashley drives him straight back into the corner again.

One more chance gets Balor over to the corner so Cena can clean some house but the Glasgow Kiss cuts him off as we take a break. Back with Cena dropkicking Ambrose, drawing Lashley right back in to break up the tag. Lashley stops to pose and the delay lets Cena hit the AA to put both guys down. Ambrose cuts off the hot tag bid though and we hit the chinlock. They head outside with Ambrose sending him into the steps as we take a second break.

Back again with Balor getting the hot tag to clean house, including a double stomp and shotgun dropkick to Ambrose. The Coup de Grace connects but McIntyre is right there with the Claymore to cut him down. It’s too early to finish things up though as Balor gets over for the tag to Rollins. That means a springboard clothesline to McIntyre and a moonsault to Lashley and Ambrose.

The Falcon Arrow gets two on McIntyre but the Stomp doesn’t connect. The reverse Alabama Slam is broken up by an AA but Lashley spears Cena down. That means a superkick to Lashley and another one to McIntyre. The frog splash (with some crazy height) misses McIntyre though and Ambrose tags himself in. Rollins blocks Dirty Deeds though and hits the Stomp for the pin at 21:15.

Rating: B. Good, hot match to open the show as they try as hard as they can (in vein that is) to fight off the National Championship game. Rollins pinning Ambrose to continue their feud is fine, especially if Rollins vs. Lashley is going to continue. Having Cena in there is a good idea as you might not want to have him in a long singles match when he hasn’t been in the ring much lately. Solid match and a very good start to the show.

We get the Gene Okerlund tribute video. No Hulk Hogan part, though he’s mentioned.

From Raw again.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for the debut of her talk show, A Moment Of Bliss. After demanding and receiving a cup of coffee, we see a video on Ronda Rousey’s rookie year. Rousey is of course the first guest and wants to talk about the future instead of the past. She talks about someone who is more athletic than Charlotte and had a tougher road here than Becky Lynch. Rousey means Sasha Banks, so here’s Nia Jax (Me out loud: “GOOD GRIEF!”) to say that sounds like someone has a girl crush on Sasha.

Nia wants to know when she’s getting her rematch from TLC but here’s Sasha, who says she’s honored by the words. She’d love to face Ronda for the title and teach her how to lose with grace. Nia says the line starts behind her before she’s a 300.5 ounce (not pounds, but ounce) Samoan. Sasha: “B**** what line?” Sasha challenges her to a #1 contenders match right now but Nia has a seat and we take a break.

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

The winner gets Rousey, presumably at the Rumble. Nia does indeed get in the ring during the break as Bayley and Tamina are watching at ringside. Sasha kicks her in the face and tries a guillotine but gets thrown into the corner. A kick to the head rocks Nia until she runs Banks over with a knee. Nia drops her face first onto the barricade for a nine count as Bayley and Tamina get in a fight.

Back in and a Batista Bomb gives Nia two as we take a break. We come back with Nia holding her in a torture rack until Sasha slips out and starts in with the knees. The running knees in the corner set up the top rope Meteora for two but Banks can’t hold the Bank Statement. Nia misses the face breaker and it’s a Samoan drop to crush Banks again. There’s a corner splash and Nia loads her up in a fireman’s carry on the middle rope.

Instead of falling back though, Nia jumps down, dropping Sasha onto the corner in a nasty crash. That’s only good for two and Bayley dropkicks Tamina for a bonus. Banks comes back with a dropkick in the corner and tries a hurricanrana off the apron but Banks just falls off to the side in what looked like a botch. Back in and the Bank Statement finishes Nia at 13:23.

Rating: C.- Nia and Corbin are the kind of people who need to just go away for awhile. They just got done with some terrible stories and feuds but they’re still trotted out there every week with the fans getting more and more sick of them every time. Eventually they kill the show whenever they appear because the fans don’t want to boo them but rather just not see them at all. WWE keeps at it anyway, because even though they have the huge roster, they don’t want to start anything new but rather keep doing the same stuff over and over again, to worse and worse returns.

From Raw, again.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and it’s Falls Count Anywhere. Seth jumps him from behind to start and we’re off in a hurry. The fight heads outside immediately with Rollins clotheslining him over the barricade. They go backstage with Rollins throwing Dean into a ladder but missing a shovel shot. Ambrose sends him head first into a metal case for two and then gets in a ladder shot for the same.

Back from a break with the fight in the crowd and Rollins diving off a barricade with a crossbody for two. Rollins punches him straight in the nose and they head to ringside with Dean being tossed into the barricade. Ambrose is right back with a drop onto the barricade for two and it’s time to peel back the ring mats. After a kiss on the head, Dean’s Dirty Deeds attempt is countered with a backdrop onto the concrete.

They head inside with a superplex into the buckle bomb into a superkick keeping Dean in big trouble. The Stomp connects but here’s Bobby Lashley to pull Rollins out of the ring. Lashley beats the heck out of him on the floor, including an overhead belly to belly. Back in and the beating continues, including the spinning Dominator and a spear. Dean covers the finished Rollins to retain at 15:22.

Rating: B-. It was a good brawl but they telegraphed the ending by about nine miles. There was no hiding Lashley interfering to cost Rollins the match and that brings up the bigger problem: they set Rollins up as being back last week, have him in a great performance earlier tonight, and then oh dang he lost. Well thanks for letting us get reinvested in him for….oh a week or so. I’m sure Lashley vs. Rollins will be fine and Ambrose can find something else to do, but it didn’t make for a strong main event to end a bad show.

Post match Lashley puts Rollins through a table to end the show.

And again from Raw.

Here’s Braun Strowman for the showdown with Brock Lesnar. Paul Heyman and Lesnar show up on the screen with Heyman talking about how Strowman is looking for a confrontation. The words that Strowman needs to understand are Card Subject To Change, because if Lesnar came out there right now, there would be no Royal Rumble title match.

Strowman stays in the ring, saying he’s waiting for Beastie Boy. Heyman tells Brock not to

worry about it and they stay in the back, with Strowman saying Lesnar must be scared. Lesnar finally comes out, walks near the ring, and starts heading to the back. Strowman says Lesnar needs to get back here….because he’s winning the title at the Royal Rumble.

This was AWFUL as they clearly have no way around the fact that Strowman is the challenger of the month and has no chance of winning. That’s what happens when you do this match twice with Lesnar winning both times, the most recent being without breaking a sweat. Side note: the last time Lesnar defended the title (not counting house shows) in a match that didn’t involve Strowman or Roman Reigns was in July 2017. And they wonder why his matches stopped meaning anything years ago?

And from Smackdown because we have some time to fill.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella

The winner gets Asuka at the Rumble. The fans are behind Becky, which isn’t the biggest surprise in the world. Charlotte decks Becky to start and a shoulder to the ribs puts her on the floor. That doesn’t last long and it’s Becky coming back in for kicks to both sets of ribs. A clothesline has Charlotte in trouble on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Becky kicking Carmella again but getting her throat snapped across the top rope. Becky is fine enough to slam Charlotte onto Carmella for two but Charlotte is back up to slug it out. Carmella breaks that up and hits a Flatliner on Becky, followed by the Code of Silence to Charlotte. That’s broken up without much effort and Becky missile dropkicks Carmella down. Becky gets suplexed into the corner though and a big boot drops Carmella again.

Charlotte moonsaults onto both of them for a pair of twos and we go to another breaker. Back again with Carmella getting two off a hurricanrana out of the corner and frustration setting in. A suicide dive takes out Becky and Charlotte’s moonsault misses. Becky is back up to suplex Carmella on the floor and they’re all down.

Back in and Charlotte hits a top rope Natural Selection on Becky but has to break up Carmella’s attempt at stealing the pin. The Figure Eight goes on until Becky breaks it up with the top rope legdrop. Carmella has to break up the Disarm-Her to Charlotte and it’s a spear to Becky. A superkick drops Charlotte but Carmella gets pulled into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 19:23.

Rating: B. Carmella was holding up her end well enough here and the ending is the right call. Even if Becky doesn’t win at the Rumble, there’s a very real chance of her jumping into the Rumble itself or winning the title shot at Elimination Chamber. This was what the fans wanted to see and that made for a rather entertaining match, along with good action from all three.

Asuka comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well let’s see. It was mainly about Raw and Raw was terrible, so how do you think this went? I’m not sure why they felt the need to cram in so much from Raw when a good amount of stuff happened on Smackdown. We couldn’t have seen Daniel Bryan’s great promo or the very good tag match? No the solution must be more Lesnar vs. Strowman, which certainly wasn’t one of the worst segments of the year or anything like that. Bad show here, due to an overload of Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 7, 2019
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

It’s the first show of the year and WWE has stacked the card. In this case we have the return of John Cena, the return of Brock Lesnar, the return of Braun Strowman, the return of Hulk Hogan and the return of the Tag Team Title match from Christmas Eve with the Revival challenging Chad Gable and Bobby Roode, this time in a lumberjack match. Oh and getting ready for the Rumble in case you didn’t have enough to pick from. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In memory of Gene Okerlund.

We open with a big fight in the back between Seth Rollins and Bobby Lashley with wrestlers, agents and referees not being able to break it up. They fight into the arena with Rollins finally being dragged to the back to separate the two of them.

Less than five seconds after the fight is over, here’s John Cena to open things up. Cena welcomes us to the show and talks about Rollins and Lashley being all fired up because it’s almost Wrestlemania season. He’s not getting left out this year so he’s going to start stepping up right now. There is one match where any superstar can grab the golden ticket and that is the Royal Rumble. Nothing is handed to you and he’s planning on earning his golden ticket by officially entering the Rumble.

This brings out Drew McIntyre to say he’s been waiting on this for several years. Cena is standing in the middle of the ring and McIntyre doesn’t care what’s going on with him, including who is in his bed. What McIntyre cares about is Cena being the best of all time. See, Drew has a tendency to take out the best of all time, like the Shield and Kurt Angle. McIntyre is a dangerous man and now he’s coming for Cena. That makes Cena shake his head, because he had to leave so that everyone else around here could think of a different promo. He’s heard this before so why is McIntyre any different?

The match seems ready to happen but here are Lio Rush and Bobby Lashley to rant about how Rollins sent nuts. If something isn’t done, they’re getting a LAWYER. Cue Rollins to jump Lashley from behind and the fight is on all over again. Dean Ambrose comes out to go after Rollins so Cena and McIntyre get in on it as well. Finn Balor comes out and hits the big flip dive as we take a break.

Bobby Lashley/Drew McIntyre/Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins/John Cena/Finn Balor

We start fast with Balor working on Lashley’s arm but getting knocked into the corner. Ambrose comes in and gets caught with a basement dropkick, only to drag Balor into the corner for a hard chop from McIntyre. The beatdown continues with Lashley hitting a chinlock but not being able to hit the spinning Dominator. Balor gets up some boots in the corner (it’s always the boots) but Lashley drives him straight back into the corner again.

One more chance gets Balor over to the corner so Cena can clean some house but the Glasgow Kiss cuts him off as we take a break. Back with Cena dropkicking Ambrose, drawing Lashley right back in to break up the tag. Lashley stops to pose and the delay lets Cena hit the AA to put both guys down. Ambrose cuts off the hot tag bid though and we hit the chinlock. They head outside with Ambrose sending him into the steps as we take a second break.

Back again with Balor getting the hot tag to clean house, including a double stomp and shotgun dropkick to Ambrose. The Coup de Grace connects but McIntyre is right there with the Claymore to cut him down. It’s too early to finish things up though as Balor gets over for the tag to Rollins. That means a springboard clothesline to McIntyre and a moonsault to Lashley and Ambrose.

The Falcon Arrow gets two on McIntyre but the Stomp doesn’t connect. The reverse Alabama Slam is broken up by an AA but Lashley spears Cena down. That means a superkick to Lashley and another one to McIntyre. The frog splash (with some crazy height) misses McIntyre though and Ambrose tags himself in. Rollins blocks Dirty Deeds though and hits the Stomp for the pin at 21:15.

Rating: B. Good, hot match to open the show as they try as hard as they can (in vein that is) to fight off the National Championship game. Rollins pinning Ambrose to continue their feud is fine, especially if Rollins vs. Lashley is going to continue. Having Cena in there is a good idea as you might not want to have him in a long singles match when he hasn’t been in the ring much lately. Solid match and a very good start to the show.

Post match HHH is shown in the back talking to Sasha Banks and Bayley. That’s not cool with Seth, who storms to the back. Seth finds HHH and demands a title shot with Ambrose tonight. HHH agrees and makes it falls count anywhere. Egads they’re pumping this show up hard.

We look at some Tweets regarding Mean Gene passing away.

We get a ten bell salute to Okerlund.

Here’s Hulk Hogan, in a Mean Gene O Mania shirt (which he had back in the 80s), to pay tribute to Okerlund. Hogan talks about Gene loving to entertain and we get the big video tribute. Back in the arena, Hogan says Gene isn’t here, but he’s right here, with a point to his heart.

The fans start a THANK YOU MEAN GENE chant and we get one more WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING MEAN GENE with Hogan talking about Gene getting the angels singing Tutti Frutti. He’s making Randy Savage/Ultimate Warrior and Roddy Piper/Mr. Perfect with Andre the Giant as a special referee. Gene better be pumping the weights because he has to choose between Moolah and Mae Young. Whatcha gonna do when Mean Gene O Mania runs wild on you? That was awesome, with the tribute being worth seeing for old school fans.

Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Bobby Roode/Chad Gable

Roode and Gable are defending in a lumberjack match and a rematch from two weeks ago when Gable and Roode pinned the illegal man to retain. Roode grabs a headlock on Wilder but it’s way too early for the Glorious DDT. The arm cranking begins until Dawson chops Gable down without much effort. Everything breaks down for a bit with Revival being clotheslined to the floor, allowing Roode to backdrop Gable onto both of them. Back in and Dawson gets in a clothesline on Gable to take over as we hit the break.

We come back with Roode getting the hot tag and coming in to clean house. A spinning Rock Bottom plants Wilder and the Blockbuster into the German suplex gets two on Dawson with Wilder mostly missing a save. The blind tag means Gable’s Rolling Chaos Theory to Dawson doesn’t count, allowing Wilder to come off the top with a splash for two more. Dawson and Gable fight over a backslide and manage to flip Wilder to the apron. Gable grabs a small package for the pin at 10:11, even though Dawson’s foot was underneath the bottom rope.

Rating: C. Can we please stop giving the heels sympathy? This is twice now that the faces have won the match and are then told that they haven’t quite gotten it. Not only does it mean we have to see a match that wasn’t great in the first place, but now we have a reason to feel sorry for the bad guys. That’s not how this is supposed to go and once they do win, it’s a reason to cheer for them because they finally got a fair shake. Why is this so complicated?

Here’s THE SAME NXT ARRIVAL VIDEO THAT WE’VE SEEN FOR A MONTH NOW! EC3 and Lacey Evans already debuted on Main Event this week so what’s the point in doing this again?

Here’s Elias for a song. He talks about 2018 being a great year with everything he accomplished. 2019 is going to be even better when he wins the Royal Rumble, but for now he wants to sing about how awful Baron Corbin is. This brings out Corbin to say he’s here to help. That starts by entering the Royal Rumble but for now, he’ll just beat up Elias.

Elias vs. Baron Corbin

They fight to the floor early on and Elias hits a falling crossbody as we take a break. Back with Corbin hammering away until Elias makes the comeback and slugs away in the corner. The fans try to care about egads man, it’s a Baron Corbin match. Elias gets him up in an electric chair but drops him down, setting up a swinging neckbreaker for two instead. The CM Punk chants start and Elias misses a top rope splash, allowing Corbin to send him shoulder first into the post. End of Days is good for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: D-. I don’t remember the last time a wrestler managed to suck the life out of a show like Corbin does. He’s not interesting, he’s not very good, and WWE has ruined the already not very high potential that he had. It’s not working, and now the solution is to keep him on TV. Corbin needs to go away for a very, very long time just to let people stop hating him so much because he’s actively destroying shows he’s on anymore. Elias isn’t that much better, but at least he doesn’t drag others down with him.

Dean Ambrose isn’t happy about the title defense tonight but he never liked six man tags anyway. Tonight he’s keeping the title from Rollins, because everything falls apart if Seth gets it back.

Here’s Braun Strowman for the showdown with Brock Lesnar. Paul Heyman and Lesnar show up on the screen with Heyman talking about how Strowman is looking for a confrontation. The words that Strowman needs to understand are Card Subject To Change, because if Lesnar came out there right now, there would be no Royal Rumble title match.

Strowman stays in the ring, saying he’s waiting for Beastie Boy. Heyman tells Brock not to

worry about it and they stay in the back, with Strowman saying Lesnar must be scared. Lesnar finally comes out, walks near the ring, and starts heading to the back. Strowman says Lesnar needs to get back here….because he’s winning the title at the Royal Rumble.

This was AWFUL as they clearly have no way around the fact that Strowman is the challenger of the month and has no chance of winning. That’s what happens when you do this match twice with Lesnar winning both times, the most recent being without breaking a sweat. Side note: the last time Lesnar defended the title (not counting house shows) in a match that didn’t involve Strowman or Roman Reigns was in July 2017. And they wonder why his matches stopped meaning anything years ago?

Jinder Mahal/Alicia Fox vs. Apollo Crews/Ember Moon

Before the match, Alicia leads us in some breathing exercises and Jinder insults some fans for not getting into it. It’s like they want us to change the channel sometimes. Crews flips over Jinder to start and gets two off a crossbody. The guys head outside and it’s Moon hitting all of her usual, capped off by the Eclipse for the pin on Fox at 1:48. At least it was short.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for the debut of her talk show, A Moment Of Bliss. After demanding and receiving a cup of coffee, we see a video on Ronda Rousey’s rookie year. Rousey is of course the first guest and wants to talk about the future instead of the past. She talks about someone who is more athletic than Charlotte and had a tougher road here than Becky Lynch. Rousey means Sasha Banks, so here’s Nia Jax (Me out loud: “GOOD GRIEF!”) to say that sounds like someone has a girl crush on Sasha.

Nia wants to know when she’s getting her rematch from TLC but here’s Sasha, who says she’s honored by the words. She’d love to face Ronda for the title and teach her how to lose with grace. Nia says the line starts behind her before she’s a 300.5 ounce (not pounds, but ounce) Samoan. Sasha: “B**** what line?” Sasha challenges her to a #1 contenders match right now but Nia has a seat and we take a break.

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

The winner gets Rousey, presumably at the Rumble. Nia does indeed get in the ring during the break as Bayley and Tamina are watching at ringside. Sasha kicks her in the face and tries a guillotine but gets thrown into the corner. A kick to the head rocks Nia until she runs Banks over with a knee. Nia drops her face first onto the barricade for a nine count as Bayley and Tamina get in a fight.

Back in and a Batista Bomb gives Nia two as we take a break. We come back with Nia holding her in a torture rack until Sasha slips out and starts in with the knees. The running knees in the corner set up the top rope Meteora for two but Banks can’t hold the Bank Statement. Nia misses the face breaker and it’s a Samoan drop to crush Banks again. There’s a corner splash and Nia loads her up in a fireman’s carry on the middle rope.

Instead of falling back though, Nia jumps down, dropping Sasha onto the corner in a nasty crash. That’s only good for two and Bayley dropkicks Tamina for a bonus. Banks comes back with a dropkick in the corner and tries a hurricanrana off the apron but Banks just falls off to the side in what looked like a botch. Back in and the Bank Statement finishes Nia at 13:23.

Rating: C.- Nia and Corbin are the kind of people who need to just go away for awhile. They just got done with some terrible stories and feuds but they’re still trotted out there every week with the fans getting more and more sick of them every time. Eventually they kill the show whenever they appear because the fans don’t want to boo them but rather just not see them at all. WWE keeps at it anyway, because even though they have the huge roster, they don’t want to start anything new but rather keep doing the same stuff over and over again, to worse and worse returns.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and it’s Falls Count Anywhere. Seth jumps him from behind to start and we’re off in a hurry. The fight heads outside immediately with Rollins clotheslining him over the barricade. They go backstage with Rollins throwing Dean into a ladder but missing a shovel shot. Ambrose sends him head first into a metal case for two and then gets in a ladder shot for the same.

Back from a break with the fight in the crowd and Rollins diving off a barricade with a crossbody for two. Rollins punches him straight in the nose and they head to ringside with Dean being tossed into the barricade. Ambrose is right back with a drop onto the barricade for two and it’s time to peel back the ring mats. After a kiss on the head, Dean’s Dirty Deeds attempt is countered with a backdrop onto the concrete.

They head inside with a superplex into the buckle bomb into a superkick keeping Dean in big trouble. The Stomp connects but here’s Bobby Lashley to pull Rollins out of the ring. Lashley beats the heck out of him on the floor, including an overhead belly to belly. Back in and the beating continues, including the spinning Dominator and a spear. Dean covers the finished Rollins to retain at 15:22.

Rating: B-. It was a good brawl but they telegraphed the ending by about nine miles. There was no hiding Lashley interfering to cost Rollins the match and that brings up the bigger problem: they set Rollins up as being back last week, have him in a great performance earlier tonight, and then oh dang he lost. Well thanks for letting us get reinvested in him for….oh a week or so. I’m sure Lashley vs. Rollins will be fine and Ambrose can find something else to do, but it didn’t make for a strong main event to end a bad show.

Post match Lashley puts Rollins through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show was a perfect example of everything wrong with Raw right now. The wrestling was fine at times and even good at some points, but the people and stories that they keep bringing out are death. Between acts that the fans do not want to see (Jax and Corbin) to talented people who have no story and just float from match to match (Crews, Bayley) to feuds that keep going with whatever illogical booking they have going this week (Revival vs. Gable/Roode), there are so many problems with this show that the good stuff is completely drowned out.

I know they’ve had to deal with holidays and the big football game tonight, but we’re less than three weeks away from the Royal Rumble and three months away from Wrestlemania with almost nothing looking like it’s even gotten started. In theory Rollins wins the Rumble to set up a feud with Lesnar, which will be over Lesnar not being around often enough and Rollins being the man and all that. The problem though is what else do they have besides that and the women’s match?

It’s certainly not too late to fix things up but the show continuing like this is flaming death for a TV show. There’s no reason to care about so much of what people are going to do because they’re still in the same place they were in months ago. Elias, Corbin (outside of his time as GM), Strowman, Lashley, Balor and probably others, are all virtually in the same place they were in a year ago with no significant title reigns for any of them in that whole time frame. Why is that? Well it could be because the Intercontinental Title is the de factor World Title right now because Lesnar has to face Strowman for his quarterly defense and leave.

This whole show needs a completely different style of presenting itself, and it’s not like WWE doesn’t know how to do it. Smackdown, NXT, heck even 205 Live knows how to do this stuff but Raw can’t figure it out. I haven’t been this sick of the show in a very long time and so much of it comes from the fact that they know how to do it properly and just won’t. I don’t know if it’s the lack of a proper World Champion or the writers being hacks or Vince losing his touch or some combination of everything, but it needs to change and it needs to change soon. Terribly dull show, with the two good matches not being able to save it.

Results

John Cena/Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose/Bobby Lashley/Drew McIntyre – Stomp to Ambrose

Chad Gable/Bobby Roode b. Revival – Small package to Dawson

Baron Corbin b. Elias – End of Days

Apollo Crews/Ember Moon b. Jinder Mahal/Alicia Fox – Eclipse to Fox

Sasha Banks b. Nia Jax – Bank Statement

Dean Ambrose b. Seth Rollins – Pin after a spear from Bobby Lashley

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: January 3, 2019
Location: Little Caesars Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph, Percy Watson

We’re back in the arena this week after a pair of Best Of shows. That means more of your favorite lower card talents plus a bunch of highlights from some shows that a lot of people didn’t actually watch due to the holidays. Things should be at least somewhat interesting though as we see what the new year might hold. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Titus O’Neil vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins’ early waistlock attempt is shoved away without much effort, as expected. Titus throws him into the corner for some chops but Hawkins snaps his throat across the top to get a breather. A Russian legsweep sets up a chinlock with a knee in Titus’ back but the comeback doesn’t take long. An exchange of right hands goes to Titus and the Clash of the Titus is good for the pin on Hawkins at 4:52.

Rating: D. Just another match between these two as Hawkins is somehow still working in this role. It should have completely lost its impact about a year ago but it’s still amusing watching him be so desperate to get a win. They’ve got something if they ever do it, though I’m not sure how they ever get there.

From Raw.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre

In a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. Ziggler has thankfully lost the record scratch at the start of his song. An early escape attempt doesn’t work for Ziggler and Drew chops the heck out of him. That and a delayed vertical suplex are enough to put Dolph down for some writhing on the mat.

Dolph’s early comeback is cut off by the Glasgow Kiss but he catches Drew on top. That means a series of rams into the cage but Drew kicks the knee out for a crotching. Back from a break with Drew demanding that Ziggler fight and being set into the cage for his efforts. The superkick gives Ziggler two but Drew pulls him back inside. A double headbutt puts them both down again but Drew is up first, only to have Ziggler slam the cage door on his head.

The Fameasser gets two and we take a break. Back again with McIntyre superplexing him off the top of the cage and then sending Ziggler face first into the cage. The Claymore takes Dolph’s head off but Drew would rather sit and look instead of cover. Another Claymore finishes Ziggler at 19:29.

Rating: C+. It’s a good win for McIntyre but it’s way past time for this feud to be over. McIntyre is better than Ziggler and they need to move him on to something else already. They’ve been at this for months now and McIntyre has gotten everything he can from Ziggler. That doesn’t mean it’s stopping, but it means that it should.

Post match Drew isn’t done as he puts a chair in front of Ziggler’s head and Claymores it into Ziggler’s head, driving it into the cage. Drew says that he’s going to win the Royal Rumble and leaves, but comes back as Ziggler was sitting up in the chair. That means another Claymore to leave Ziggler laying. Ok are we done with these two now? I mean we should have been three months ago but are we done now?

From Smackdown.

Here’s John Cena, bad hair and all, for a chat. Cena thanks the fans for the energy and talks about the year in review. He bought a ticket to Wrestlemania and probably shouldn’t have had those beers before the match. His personal life was all over national television, he wrote a best selling children’s book that he’s very proud of and lived in China for six months. With all that though, he still thinks this hair is a good idea. On top of that though, he can still float like a butterfly and sting like a bumblebee, which is still certified fresh.

The question now is why is he here. Well he knows that someone is going to come out here right now and say Cena should leave WWE faster than Nikki Bella left him. That brings out Becky Lynch to some applause from Cena. Becky asks how it feels to expect a man to come out here but to get The Man instead. Things have gotten a bit more complicated since Cena left, because now Becky wants to take his place instead of Charlotte’s. He’s been THE star of WWE and now she wants to be on those posters and filling his shoes. If Cena has a problem with that, Nikki won’t be the only woman to drop him this year.

This brings out Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega, with the latter saying a fresh start was promised not too long ago. What she sees though is an old face in Cena and a still broken face in Becky. Vega introduces the two of them and promises that this will be the year of tranquilo. Cena: “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is John Cena and you may know me from being John Cena.” The challenge is thrown out and the mixed tag starts after the break.

John Cena/Becky Lynch vs. Zelina Vega/Andrade Cien Almas

The women start with a chop sending Vega bailing for a tag to Almas. That means Cena comes in as well and Andrade is rather pleased. The early tranquilo pose doesn’t have Cena very impressed and Almas’ headlock doesn’t make things much better. The fans want Becky but have to settle for more headlocking instead. Almas kicks him down but gets his suplex reversed. A running clothesline takes Cena down though and we take a break.

Back with Vega holding Cena on the ropes and Almas still in control. Cena fights up and avoids a charge, allowing the hot tag to Becky as the fans stay interested. Some kicks have Vega in trouble and the Bexploder makes things even worse. A top rope dropkick with almost no elevation (Becky might have slipped) gets two but Almas breaks up the Disarm-Her. Cena takes care of him with the usual, including the Lightning Fist. Becky shoves Cena out of the ring though and grabs the Disarm-Her for the win at 10:11.

Rating: C-. That ending was a great example of something that Becky would do and fitting her character. She didn’t ask permission from Cena to do what she wanted and just took the spot herself. That fits her very well and was the right call. It’s not going to mean anything, but it fit for the moment.

Post match Cena offers a handshake but Becky does You Can’t See Me instead.

Revival vs. Tyler Breeze/Zack Ryder

Breeze armbars Dawson to start and gets uppercutted for his efforts. That would qualify as the fists part of the offense. Wilder comes in and gets caught in a hurricanrana and there’s a dropkick to Dawson. Ryder helps out on a double backdrop and a slingshot dropkick through the ropes rocks Dawson again. A clothesline on the floor cuts Breeze down though and it’s time for the beatdown inside. Dawson slams him down and an assisted gordbuster gets two.

Ryder gets pulled off the apron for a distraction and the Hart Attack is good for another two. We hit the required chinlock (at least it’s a cobra clutch to mix things up a bit this time) before Breeze fights up with an enziguri. The hot tag brings in Ryder for the usual, including knees to Dawson and a flapjack to Wilder. A double Broski boot sets up the double neckbreaker before it’s back to Breeze. Ryder gets sent to the floor and the Shatter Machine finishes Breeze at 7:42.

Rating: C. That was a snappy little match with all four working hard. The Revival deserves so much better than what they’re getting and I hope they get the titles that have so eluded them for so long. There’s not much of a reason to not put the belts on them at least once, just for them being a different kind of team if nothing else.

From Smackdown.

Rey Mysterio vs Mustafa Ali vs. Samoa Joe vs. Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Bryan at the Rumble. Everyone is in the ring at once so Ali goes right at Joe, who throws him down without much effort. AJ hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Rey before hammering away at Orton in the corner. Everyone but Orton heads outside with the aggressive AJ sending Ali face first into the post. Ali is fine enough to hit the rolling X Factor for two on Orton as Joe makes the save.

Rey dives in to take Joe down but AJ sends him hard into the corner. Mysterio is fine enough to hurricanrana AJ out to the floor, only to walk right into a powerslam. Joe suplexes Ali but charges into AJ’s elbow in the corner, setting up the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Back from a break with AJ taking over again but not being able to launch the Phenomenal Forearm. Joe drops him through the announcers’ table, only to have Ali take him down.

Rey does the same to Orton and we get an Ali vs Mysterio showdown. Ali flips out of a headscissors and catches Rey on top with a super Spanish Fly. That’s good for a delayed two with Joe making a save this time and firing off knees to Ali. The Satellite DDT plans Joe but the 054 misses. Joe grabs the Koquina Clutch with Rey making a save off a 619. Another 619 hits Ali and there’s the RKO to make it worse, with Rey coming off the top with a legdrop for the save. A hurricanrana on the floor takes care of Joe and AJ hits the springboard 450 to pin Orton for the title shot at 13:09.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here with the right call. You don’t want to have AJ get that big moment last year and then lose his first match back. I don’t think they’ll put the title back on him but there’s a good chance he’ll get screwed out of the title, which is a fine enough way to set up a Rumble match. Ali got some nice offense in here as well and that’s a good sign for his future.

Overall Rating: C. They covered the good stuff from the big shows and the tag match wasn’t half bad. This was the Main Event that works so well as a recap as they didn’t miss any of the major stuff (the lack of Baron Corbin was rather refreshing) and it was an easy forty minute watch. Now if only Raw and Smackdown went this well every week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6