Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

By this point a lot of the top mainstays are firmly established on top of the company. Cena is the star that everyone knows him as now, Orton is becoming one of the top heels and Punk is rising up the card. Now that things have stopped shuffling, we can get down to some solid stories and matches. However, the midcard is about to be in a major state of flux. Let’s get to it.

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. The extended clips stop at 1990 though.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

Miz and Morrison used to be partners but have since split and started a feud. Hardy and Benjamin would be gone from WWE in 2010, Finlay would become a trainer and only part time wrestler in the same year, and Morrison wouldn’t make it to 2012. Bourne (a high flier) would stay active but eventually be out over two years with a foot injury. Morrison is Intercontinental Champion.

On the other side you have four World Champions and Drew McIntyre (later known as Drew Galloway in TNA). Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre (a Scottish wrestler with a lot of potential) has only been around for about three months and Sheamus (an Irish brawler) has only been on Raw less than a month.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig neck snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face.

There’s the hot tag to Matt (BIG pop) and a double elbow to the back of Ziggler’s head by Evan and Matt. The Side Effect sets up Air Bourne (great looking shooting star press) for the elimination of Ziggler, but McIntyre comes in immediately and Future Shocks (double arm DDT) Bourne to tie it back up. Finlay charges in to fight McIntyre and hits that Regal Roll of his. Off to Sheamus and Striker goes oooo.

They stare each other down but a Miz distraction allows Sheamus to Brogue Kick Finlay down for the pin. Matt comes in to pound on Sheamus but he walks into a powerslam for two for the pale one. Off to Miz who drops a leg and puts on a reverse chinlock. The Reality Check (backbreaker into a neckbreaker) gets two and it’s off to a front facelock.

Hardy reverses but Swagger comes in and drops ax handles on his back to keep Matt in. Jack hooks a chinlock but Matt counters into a sleeper, from which he drops Swagger onto the back of his head in a kind of neckbreaker. Hot tag brings in Morrison to speed thing up. Morrison gets sent into the post but avoids the Vader Bomb. After taking out Miz, the Flying Chuck (Disaster kick) kills Jack for two as everything breaks down. The referee gets run over and once things calm down, Morrison hits a knee to Swagger’s chest and Starship Pain (twisting split legged moonsault) ties things up by eliminating Swagger.

Miz comes in and hits his running corner clothesline followed by a top rope double ax for two. Off to a quickly broken chinlock and it’s back to Shelton, now with gold hair in an idea that never did work. A Stinger Splash and a northern lights suplex gets two and Benjamin keeps knocking Miz away whenever Miz comes at him. A bridging German suplex gets two for Shelton as the original referee is being checked for a concussion. Sheamus breaks up a neckbreaker from Shelton and Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale to take out Benjamin.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Morrison starts with McIntyre and pounds away in the corner as Striker quotes Jim Morrison lyrics. Drew sends him into the corner and it’s off to Sheamus for some double stomping. Miz comes back in for some trash talk followed by a slugout. Morrison takes over but it’s quickly off to Sheamus to run John over. Morrison kicks all three heels down but the Flying Chuck is caught by a Brogue Kick out of the air, followed by the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) for the final elimination.

Rating: C+. This was your typical Survivor Series match and hopefully it gives us the definitive ending to the feud between the captains. Morrison was the more athletically gifted guy but Miz would go on to much better things. I’m not sure if it was more his talent or the complete lack of expectations for him but Miz went miles ahead of Morrison soon after this. Sheamus would get the Raw World Title in less than a month.

Team Kofi talks strategy but Christian feels awkward among four people not like him. His partners are MVP, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth and Mark Henry. Christian says he’s the only one that’s….you know…..from ECW. The awkward responses ensue and Christian thinks they thought it was because he’s Canadian. Christian “raps” and mentions the race thing, drawing stares. Everyone eventually cracks up.

We recap Batista vs. Rey Mysterio. They had been tag partners but Rey got pinned a few times. At Bragging Rights, Batista snapped and turned heel on Rey in one of the best heel turns in years. I loved this turn because it’s so simple: Batista got tired of losing over and over and then, very calmly, he said he was going to rip Rey’s head off, and then he DID. Rey begged for mercy, but Batista kept beating on him and hurting him, turning him into a big, muscle headed bully, which is one of the best kinds.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

Rey kicks Batista into 619 position but Batista grabs the legs out of the air but can’t hit the Bomb yet. Mysterio sends him to the floor for a seated senton but Batista shrugs it off. Back in and Rey hits a pair of 619’s to the back and the ribs and a third to the face. Another springboard seated senton puts Batista down and Rey goes up for the Eddie Guerrero dance, only to dive onto knees. Batista kills Rey with a spear and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb kills Rey but Dave won’t cover. There’s another Bomb and a third so the referee stops the match.

Rating: C+. I liked this for the story it was telling and the match wasn’t all that important. This was cool to see as Batista let out some of his anger and didn’t have to get pinned by some stupid rollup or anything like that. Sometimes you need some violence and the destruction of someone instead of them being able to stand tall. Let the bad guy win once in awhile and let him look strong. Then when someone stands up to him and beats him, they’re a hero. For some reason, this never happens anymore.

Post match Batista brings in a chair and picks up a begging Rey. He hits a spinebuster onto the chair, but the key here is the look on his face. There is no emotion on it at all and it’s like he has to do this because it’s who he is. Awesome all around. Rey is taken out on a stretcher.

Orton doesn’t like his team. Punk doesn’t really want to hear it.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, capped off by a Boom Drop through a table.

Unfortunately, the beginning of this saw Kofi miss his cue and make Orton look stupid, so guess what happened to Kofi’s push at the end of this program. Since, you know, months of awesome promos and buildup and crowd reactions should be thrown away for the sake of a three second error that no one remembers. The package easily edits it out here, but hey, EVERYONE remembers EVERYTHING that happens on Raw right? That’s why everything is recapped: so EVERYONE that remember EVERYTHING can remember it even better.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Christian is ECW Champion and is feuding with Regal. Mark Henry and MVP are a team and feuding with Legacy (Rhodes and DiBiase. That’s DiBiase Jr. of course. He never did much but he had potential.). Orton is pleased that he gets to fight Kofi but Henry starts instead. Henry throws Randy into Orton’s corner where Henry beats up all four of them. There’s a bearhug as Striker says being a Rumble winner might help Orton with strategy here. What does a battle royal have to do with an elimination tag match? Anyway, Legacy helps their boss out and it’s an RKO to eliminate Henry in less than a minute.

MVP comes in and Team Orton all bails to the floor. After the quick huddle outside, here’s Orton again to face MVP but Rhodes makes a blind tag to stomp away on him. It’s quickly off to DiBiase then Regal then Punk to stomp away until Punk hooks a chinlock. MVP fights up and hits a suplex that looked like it lacked contact before bringing Truth in. Truth does his backflip into the splits but Rhodes’ distraction lets Punk hit the GTS to eliminate the rapper.

Christian comes in next to face Punk and they trade basic stuff to start. Punk gets in a knee to the ribs and it’s off to DiBiase for a middle rope elbow which gets two. Christian tries the Killswitch but walks into a powerslam instead. Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) and the Killswitch are both countered so Christian kicks DiBiase in the ribs and hits the spinning sunset flip out of the corner to make it 4-3.

Regal comes in immediately and gets all fired up but gets dropkicked down. There’s the tag to Kofi and things speed way up. Kofi fires off punches in the corner and but Regal fires off some punches to slow Kofi down. Off to Rhodes for more punches and kicks before Regal comes in again. MVP gets the tag and hits the Drive By (running boot to the head) to take Regal out and tie us up at three each (Kofi/MVP/Christian vs. Orton/Rhodes/Punk).

Cody comes in with a top rope cross body but MVP rolls through it for two. Rhodes gets caught in the good guy corner and it’s Canadian time as Christian pounds him into another corner. Tornado DDT is broken up and Christian is in trouble already. Cody wraps his legs around Christian as things slow down again. Off to Randy again who hits a gorgeous dropkick for two. Off to Rhodes who misses a knee drop so it’s back to MVP. It’s more basic punches and the Ballin Elbow for no cover. MVP has to knock Orton down and gets caught in Cross Rhodes to make it 3-2.

Kofi comes in and rolls up Cody for a VERY hot two count before it’s back to Christian. The Canadian works on the arm before it’s back to Kofi with a springboard shot to the arm as well. Christian and Kofi take turns on Cody until the Killswitch takes him out. This was simple yet effective. It’s down to Punk/Orton vs. Christian/Kofi which is a spiffy little tag match.

Orton comes in to face Christian and a right hand takes Captain Charisma down. Christian has to take Punk down off the apron but still manages to avoid the RKO and hit the Killswitch for two as Punk saves. Punk distracts Christian and it’s an RKO to make it 2-1. Kofi wants Orton but Randy tags out when he sees Kingston there. Punk and Kofi stare at each other a bit before slugging it out with Kofi taking over with some HARD forearms.

The GTS and Trouble in Paradise both miss and we’ve got a stalemate. Kofi hits a big dropkick and the SOS for two. Orton is walking around on the floor as Punk takes over. Off to a leg choke which shifts to a body vice with the legs as some time is killed. Kofi fights up but a splash hits Punk’s knees.

A falcon’s arrow gets two for CM but the bulldog out of the corner is countered with a belly to back suplex. Kofi goes up and after blocking a superplex twice, a top rope cross body gets a close two. An Orton distraction prevents the Boom Drop but Kofi reverses a rollup into the pin on Punk and immediately kicks Orton’s head off for the final pin and a BIG pop.

Rating: B. This took a bit more time than it needed but the ending was perfect. It made Kofi look like a STAR….and then he lost the next month to Orton and was back in the midcard immediately after, but this was AWESOME. The other eliminations didn’t mean much and this would have been better as a 4-4 match with about three less minutes, but great ending and I was totally into the Kofi push at this point.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho’s team won at Bragging Rights and Big Show turned on Raw at the same show to get this spot. Undertaker is defending and he’s the only person I’ll call champion in this match even though Jericho and Big Show have the Smackdown Tag Team Titles here. The challengers pound Undertaker into the corner with Show headbutting the champion a bit for good measure.

Undertaker comes back with a clothesline to send Show to the floor and goes after him instead of fighting Jericho in the ring. Odd decision but Undertaker is an odd guy most of the time. Undertaker fires away punches on the floor but Jericho pops up from out of nowhere and takes out the champ’s legs. Undertaker is stuck in the timekeeper’s area so the challengers lift him out of it to throw him back inside to hammer away.

Jericho misses a charge and Undertaker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Undertaker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Undertaker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

A chokeslam to Undertaker is countered into a DDT and all three guys are down. Jericho tries to cover both guys but can only get two before being launched to the floor by Big Show. Undertaker wins a slugout with Big Show and they both grab chokeslam grips, but it’s Jericho with a belt shot to take Show down, possibly by mistake. Undertaker loads up the Last Ride on Jericho but another belt shot to the head knocks out the champion for a good two seconds.

Jericho mocks the Undertaker for some reason and tries a Tombstone. Since he isn’t Kane at the moment, Undertaker easily counters, only to have Big Show knock him out. Jericho saves the pin and tries a Codebreaker on Big Show, who is like boy please. A knock out punch puts Jericho down as Undertaker is getting back to his feet. Show calls for the chokeslam but Show pulls him down into the Hell’s Gate for the submission to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that went fine but you could have called most of the match the entire way through. Was there any doubt that Undertaker was going to keep the belt here and that the partners would turn on each other? That’s the problem with these kind of matches: they never take risks on the endings so it’s the same stuff over and over again.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit and claim to be the future. Eh kind of.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Elimination rules. Michelle is Women’s Champion and Melina is Divas Champion. Layla and McCool are now an evil team called Laycool, Fox is a Diva with an attitude, Torres is a smart and polished woman and Gail is back from TNA but not doing much. Kelly and Layla get things going and it’s not pretty from the start. They are but the wrestling isn’t quite so smooth. Layla hits some dropkicks to the back but Kelly comes back with a legdrop to the back of the head to get the quick elimination.

Off to Gail vs. Michelle and it’s a quick Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to eliminate Kim. Seriously it’s that fast. It’s time for Eve vs. Jillian with the singer taking over with a cartwheel splash. After some uninspired stuff, Eve pins Jillian with a top rope sunset flip and is immediately pinned herself after the Glam Slam. A second Glam Slam pins Kelly and it’s down to Mickie/Melina vs. Beth/Michelle/Alicia. Mickie comes in to fight Beth and after some forearms, a crucifix gets rid of Phoenix.

Alicia comes in next and things slow WAY down as Beth was the only girl in there that was going to be able to beat Mickie. A northern lights suplex with a GREAT bridge from Alicia (she could always do that so well) gets two but Mickie backflips up from the mat into a front chancery. It’s quickly broken up but it looked awesome. Mickie comes off the middle rope with a Thesz Press for the pin to make it 2-1.

Michelle comes in and stomps on Mickie before hooking a chinlock. Mickie comes back with a forearm to the face and both chicks are down. James can’t quite make the tag so Michelle slams her down for two. There’s the hot tag to Melina who goes nuts but gets no response. Michelle suplexes her down but she puts Melina over her shoulders and gets caught in a sunset flip for the final pin.

Rating: D-. This was worthless. As in there was no value to this whatsoever. The sex appeal is going down too as most of the girls are more covered up than they were in the previous years, and when you have bad wrestling with a lack of sex appeal, the Divas matches go way down in value. The crowd didn’t care at all here either.

Batista liked hurting Rey.

No recap video for the main event, but there’s no need for one. It’s the same story as the other World Title match minus the Bragging Rights parts.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. The bell rings and Shawn superkicks HHH to the floor for a big surprise. Cena’s reaction is great as he never saw that coming and I don’t think most people did either. The replay screws it up by showing a good three inches between Shawn’s boot and HHH’s face, but that’s normal anymore. Cena tries a fast clothesline on Shawn but gets caught in a neckbreaker instead.

John comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex but Shawn chops away in the corner. Shawn gets kicked onto the top rope where Cena tries the AA but Shawn counters into something that most resembled a DDT for two. Shawn goes for the knee and the fans think Cena sucks. There’s a Figure Four on Cena but John turns it over to escape.

Back to their feet we go and Cena’s leg seems perfectly fine. He hits a pair of shoulder blocks but a third misses and he falls to the floor. Shawn loads up the announce table as HHH is still out cold apparently. Cena pops up to try an AA through the table but HHH saves, only to hit a big spinebuster to send Shawn through the table. Back inside we have HHH pounding away on Cena as Striker won’t stop talking. He goes on about how HHH is the ace of spades and all kinds of other terms that either go over most peoples’ heads or make little sense because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else watching.

HHH hits a neckbreaker for two on Cena but a Pedigree attempt is countered into a slingshot into the corner. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting a shoulder to take over. There’s the ProtoBomb but Shawn sends him into the post to break up the Shuffle. It’s time for DX to explode and Shawn takes over early with an atomic drop followed by some chops. HHH comes back with a knee to the face but Shawn hits the forearms and nips up.

It doesn’t do much good though as he is immediately caught in the spinebuster, but like Cena he escapes the Pedigree. Shawn goes up but gets crotched by Cena who goes up as well, only to miss the top rope Fameasser. Shawn hits the top rope elbow on Cena but HHH sends Shawn to the floor. There’s the STF on HHH as Cena doesn’t seem interested in selling at all in this match. As HHH is about to tap, Shawn comes in and hooks the Crossface on Cena to break the hold.

Cena pulls up from that into an AA attempt but Michaels slips down the back, only to get caught in the STF. Shawn FINALLY gets the rope and pops up to superkick Cena. HHH charges in and takes another superkick, only to fall on Cena for a VERY close two. Cena hits an AA on HHH as Shawn gets back in after falling out after the two kicks. They both crawl for the cover and both get a two at the same time. All three guys try finishers on each other (including a piledriver attempt from Shawn) before Shawn superkicks HHH again but gets AA’d onto HHH for the pin to retain Cena’s title.

Rating: B. Good solid match here and WAY better than the previous one. Cena’s selling here was really surprising though as he’s not one to pull something like that. Other than that the finishers being used so often got a bit annoying, but the match felt like a big battle where anyone could have won, which couldn’t really be said about Show vs. Jericho vs. Undertaker. Good stuff here.

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good show but overall, it’s kind of underwhelming. The show mostly felt like it came and went and if the show happened that’s fine but if it didn’t exist that would be fine too. The triple threats didn’t work either although the main event was definitely a solid match. No need to see this, although it was good show if that makes sense.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

The other major story on the show is Team Orton vs. Team Batista. Randy Orton vs. Batista had always been a match WWE wanted to push on a big stage but this is about as high as they ever got. They would face each other at various other pay per views in singles matches, but none as high profile as this one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the exact same thing it’s been for two years. Literally, they’re the same clips before we get to the stuff about the main events.

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

Shawn and JBL are feuding over Shawn being broke and needing money form JBL, Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard and JTG, two thug characters) are feuding with Miz and Morrison, Kane has been hunting Mysterio and Khali and MVP (in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and the US Title) are there to fill out the lineups. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once.

Rey hits a quick hurricanrana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s time for Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Naturally Shawn skins the cat to come back in, as he has for years. At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn gets back inside. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker. Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 victory.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

HHH doesn’t think he needs to give his opinion on the Jeff Hardy situation. Either way, Hardy will be back. Tonight it’s going to be him vs. Kozlov and HHH promises to give the Russian his first defeat.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Smackdown: Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Candice is a model who wasn’t horrible in the ring, Maryse is a French Canadian bombshell and Natalya is a member of the Hart Family. Beth is the captain of Team Raw (and is dating Santino Marella) and McCool is captain of Team Smackdown. They’re also Women’s and Divas Champions respectively. For the sake of simplicity, only Michelle McCool will be referred to as Michelle. Beth and Michelle start things off with Beth controlling via a top wristlock. Michelle uses some decent chain wrestling to set up a dropkick to send Beth backwards a bit.

Maryse tags herself in and gets in a brawl with her own partner Michelle. Team Raw: “LET THEM FIGHT!” Good thinking. After the brawl is broken up, it’s Beth vs. Maria with Maria avoiding a charge and hitting a slow motion headscissors. Off to Kelly vs. Maria and hopefully this doesn’t last long. Victoria tags herself in and gets caught in a hurricanrana by Kelly for the pin. Kelly tries the same thing on Maryse for two so Maryse hits a backbreaker and gets the pin as well.

It’s 4-4 now and Mickie comes in while swearing a bit. A Thesz Press puts Maryse down and it’s off to Michelle again. They try to bridge into a backslide, fail miserably, and try again to a standoff. McCool hits a Russian legsweep for two and Mickie hits a clothesline for the same. Maria’s save hits McCool by mistake, allowing Mickie to hit the jumping DDT and pin Michelle. Mickie gets in an argument with Beth and gets rolled up by Maryse to tie it right back up.

Off to Candice vs. Natalya and they trade some rollups for two. Natalya busts out a Sharpshooter (it is the Survivor Series after all) but Jillian makes the save. Candice hits a spear for a quick pin on Natalya and it’s 3-2 with Jillian, Beth and Candice vs. Maria and Maryse.

It’s Jillian vs. Maria with Jillian getting two off a Samoan Drop. Maria grabs a quick victory roll to eliminate Jillian and ten seconds later, Candice hits a northern lights suplex to put Maria out. Maryse hooks an inverted figure four on Candice and we’re down to one on one. Maryse gets in a few shots and a rollup but the Glam Slam (double chickenwing slam) gives Beth the final pin very quickly.

Rating: D. As decent as last year’s was, this felt like your traditional Divas match. You had some decent workers but most of the girls are models who are there because of how they look in swimsuits. I’ve seen worse matches and the right choice was the survivor, but this just didn’t work for the most part.

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object, ending any drug speculation.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Show isn’t scared of Undertaker so he’ll win the casket match tonight.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Casket match and the casket gets the full druid entrance. I wonder if those guys hang out at catering after this. They have a nice casket this year too instead of the normally generic ones. Show took all of 2007 off and lost a ton of weight so he’s still kind of slim here. Well slim for him that is. I don’t think the bell rang but Show starts throwing punches anyway. One misses though and Undertaker tries to dump him into the casket to no avail.

They head to the floor and Undertaker’s headbutt has no effect. Show pounds away at the ribs and rams Undertaker face first into the announce table to daze the smaller giant. The announce table gets loaded up but Show headbutts him instead of putting Undertaker on the table. Undertaker grabs one of those big monitors WWE uses and bashes Show’s head in a few times with it. A BIG leg to put Show through the table in the huge spot of the match.

They slowly start heading back to the casket but take a detour into the ring instead. Old School is countered and things slow down again. There’s a side slam from Show as the crowd is a lot less interested than they were when Undertaker was on offense. The casket it opened and Undertaker is put inside but Show has to close the casket himself.

Since Show won’t close the lid, Undertaker comes back with a bunch of punches and the jumping clothesline. Show hits a big elbow in the corner to slow down Undertaker (and the crowd) again. For some reason Show loads up a Vader Bomb when Undertaker is half up and gets chokeslammed down.

The casket is opened again and a big boot to the side of Show’s head knocks him inside, but Show blocks the lid from being shut again. Back in and Show hits the chokeslam….then destroys the casket. Show starts walking away and there’s a wall of fire to stop him from leaving. Well of course there is. Undertaker goes after him and gets punched down again, but here are more druids with another casket.

Show punches Undertaker a bit more and stands the casket up so he can ram Undertaker into it and knock both of them down. The casket is stood up again but it’s open this time. Undertaker punches Show to the edge of the stage before whipping Show into the casket, causing it to fall and shut to give Undertaker the win.

Rating: D. This is considered a horrible casket match by some people but it’s really not that bad. It’s certainly a bad match but the ending was kind of creative and what are you expecting from Undertaker vs. Big Show? They’re going to hit each other a lot and it’s going to be slow, so why do people act surprised when any match with either of these two or Kane is the same formula? Not a good match but it’s definitely not terrible.

Carlito and Primo (cousins) hit on the Bellas but can’t tell them apart. In something I never thought I’d have to say again, the Gobbledygooker pops up and the Colons think it’s Charlie Haas, but of course he pops up in the room and the Gooker is played by the Boogeyman. This would be another pointless segment.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to be team captain but his team will win anyway. He implies Cody is the weak link of the team. Cody says that if Randy is eliminated first, it’s addition by subtraction. The team has to hold them apart.

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Cody is being mentored by Orton in a group called Legacy, Shelton is US Champion, Matt is ECW Champion and Punk/Kofi are Raw Tag Team Champions. Orton cost Punk the Raw World Title back in October, Hardy and Henry are feuding over the ECW Title, Truth is chasing Shelton’s Title and Regal has been helping Orton against Batista. This is quite the intricate match for a change.

Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away slowly.

Henry apparently gets tired after a few seconds so here’s Cody. Matt comes in, does nothing of note, and tags in Truth who pounds away. Striker talks about what a killing Truth is making as we can hear a lot of spots being called here tonight. I don’t know if the ring is mic’d loudly or what but you can hear all kinds of stuff here. Batista comes in and everybody runs until it’s only Cody left to face him. Rhodes quickly tags out to Shelton but Batista takes him down with ease and gets two via a powerslam. Off to Matt vs. Randy as things speed up. A bulldog gets two for Matt but a moonsault misses.

It’s off to Henry who lost the ECW Title to Hardy a few months ago. Cody comes in and chokes a bit but there’s the double tag to Truth vs. Shelton. A victory roll gets two for Truth and he does his backflip into the splits spot. The spinning forearm misses completely and Paydirt (a jumping downward spiral) gets the pin for Shelton. Kofi immediately comes in with a springboard cross body for two and a dropkick to put Shelton down.

The Boom Drop gets another two for Kofi but Henry blasts Kofi in the back of the head. Henry comes in legally now for more quick pounding and it’s finally off to Orton. Orton does his really slow stomp but the knee drop misses. Randy drapes him over the top rope and hits the hanging DDT for the elimination. Punk is immediately waiting on Orton, who gets beaten up for a few moments but gets in a rake to the eyes and tags out to Cody.

Rhodes works on the arm for a bit but gets caught by the knee and bulldog combo for two. Punk goes up but Manu (the other member of Legacy who didn’t last long) distracts him long enough for Cody to shove him off the top. A DDT eliminates Punk quickly and we’re down to 4-2 with Batista/Matt vs. Orton/Cody/Henry/Benjamin. Matt comes in and hits a quick Side Effect for two on Rhodes but it’s quickly back to Henry. Matt hits an elbow to the back of Henry’s head and manages to pull off the Side Effect for two. That’s about it for Hardy as the World’s Strongest Slam takes him out, leaving Batista all alone.

Batista immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Rating: B. This was a kind of throwback to the old school Survivor Series matches where the numbers finally caught up with the big face and he got beat. Orton vs. Batista was one of the big matches that WWE never really got to do on the scale I think they were hoping for. They would have a long match next month at Armageddon but that’s hardly the second main event at Wrestlemania which they were capable of having. Still though, good stuff here and the best match of the night by far.

Kozlov says he’ll win.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

The recap video is pretty pointless now because the video is mostly about Jeff. Kozlov is here because HHH wanted to have some big epic match with him that no one but him was interested in. Jeff is here because he keeps getting so close to winning the title so EVIL Vickie wouldn’t let him in the match. Jeff invaded the contract signing and beat up a lot of people until he was put in the match.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

HHH is defending. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans chant USA of course and for once it’s actually appropriate. Kozlov, the amateur wrestler/combat sports expert, takes it to the mat with amateur stuff. Now remember that, because it’ll become important later. HHH gets on the mat with him and hooks a headlock. The fans now chant boring as we hit a standoff. Now they want Hardy.

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vladimir sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Back in and a fall away slam gets two for the challenger and he fires some shoulders to the ribs. A powerslam gets another two and it’s off to a body grip to slow things down even more. Kozlov hits a pair of backbreakers for two and it’s back to that grip. HHH comes back with some right hands but gets powerslammed down for another two. A comeback by HHH is countered into a belly to belly as Taz says Kozlov is going to win, further dooming him to lose. HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere and here’s Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero.

She says he’s here and makes it a triple threat, with the third man being the returning Edge. Edge does the psycho eyes on the way to the ring and I think a cameraman fell off the ramp as he was filming. Edge spears down HHH and here’s Jeff Hardy to destroy the Canadian. His chair shot hits HHH though, allowing Edge to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: D. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, as usual I disagree with anyone who said this was the worst match of the year. It’s arguably not even the worst match of the show, but think about this for a minute: are you telling me there isn’t some terrible Divas match somewhere in the year worse than this? Or that Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino Marella at Cyber Sunday was indeed better?

This match was indeed bad, but let’s think about this for a minute. Kozlov is supposed to be a combat sports expert and an amateur wrestler. So what did he do? He wrestled like his character was supposed to. Now was it boring? Absolutely. Was it a REALLY stupid move to put him in a World Title match? Absolutely. Were the fans interested? Not at all. If you want proof, back at Cyber Sunday the options for the title match were HHH vs. either guy, or a triple threat. The results were as follows:

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Based on that alone, it’s clear that almost no one wanted to see HHH vs. Kozlov one on one. The interest just wasn’t there, so they booked a triple threat instead which there was interest in. Then they screw the fans out of their money by taking Jeff out of the match because of whatever their reasoning was. Then they flip the fans off AGAIN by having Hardy run in at the end. Hardy would pin Edge in another triple threat the next month to win the title in a shocker. Why this match didn’t happen here is beyond me, but again it’s screwing the fans out of what was advertised until the night before the show.

At the end of the day though, no one bought Kozlov as a real threat to the title. The guy just wasn’t going to be WWE Champion with the response he got, which is why Hardy was the interesting factor in this match. Without him, you have twelve minutes of your time being wasted until the ending, which should have been Hardy. Anyway, nothing to see here but it’s not the worst match of the year.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. Jericho snuck into the Championship Scramble match last month at Unforgiven and stole the World Title while Cena was on the shelf. Tonight, Cena returns from a neck injury to try and get his title back. In his hometown. Against a guy that has literally only beaten him once. And we’re supposed to expect Jericho to have a chance because we’re supposed to ignore all that stuff.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Jericho is defending of course. Cena almost immediately tries the FU but Jericho bails to the apron. Jericho comes back with a headlock which works on the neck followed by a shoulder block to take Cena to the floor. John holds his neck a lot and looks shaken. Back in and Cena pounds away in the corner as they’re hitting hard but the pace of the match is pretty slow if that makes sense. Jericho takes over and things continue to go slowly.

Cena comes back with the Throwback and goes up for the Fameasser, only to come down because that’s the move that hurt his neck in the first place. Jericho takes over again and things go slowly. A kick to the side of Cena’s head puts him on the floor for a nine count. Back in and Cena slugs away but gets sent right back to the floor. Jericho throws him into the steps and heads back in for a neck crank.

After the hold is broken, it’s time for more choking followed by a full nelson. The hold lasts almost a minute and a half but Cena blocks the bulldog. A shoulder puts Jericho down but the second shoulder connects. Jericho misses the Lionsault but the Shuffle is countered into the Liontamer (kneeling Walls of Jericho)! He hasn’t used that in years but it looks awesome. Cena escapes the hold so Jericho puts on the regular Boston Crab instead. Cena, after being in the hold over a minute straight, grabs the rope to escape. Back up and Cena hits an FU out of nowhere but can’t follow up.

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine but there was less drama in this than in a Donald Duck cartoon. At the end of the day, Cena does not lose to Jericho and he does not tap out no matter what. The wrestling was fine and it told a story and all that jazz, but I’d rather have a main event where I wasn’t sure what was going to happen than a match being designed for Cena to have everything come together and win and then everything coming together to win.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been doing so many of these lately, but this wasn’t the most interesting show in the world. It was dull at times and almost felt like a chore to sit through. The first hour or so is WAY worse than the rest of the show, but even the last two thirds aren’t all that great. This didn’t work that well and it’s not something I want to see again.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another match of note on the show is Mickie James challenging Lita for the Women’s Championship in what would be Lita’s final match. Combining this with Trish Stratus leaving just a few months earlier, the Divas division was in a huge state of flux with the two biggest stars it ever had leaving in the span of a few months. Let’s get to it.

This is the 20^th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

Slaughter is replacing a cancer ridden Roddy Piper. Actually he got very lucky as he got a concussion because of a Conchairto from Edge, and on the tests the cancer was found. Arn Anderson is here with the Legends and we get the awesome Horsemen music. The only member of the Squad (a group of male cheerleaders) still around is Nicky, more famous as Dolph Ziggler, so I’ll spare you from an explanation. Kenny is the only other one that stuck around after the team split up anyway.

Simmons and Mikey start things off and guess who wins the slugout. Ron beats up all of them but Mitch, the fifth member of the squad not in the match, interferes and gets Ron on the floor. Mitch’s distraction leads to Simmons getting counted out. Mitch (the other cheerleader) gets ejected but Simmons beats him up first. Anderson gets ejected as well for no apparent reason. The Philly fans are TICKED. Nicky comes in to face Sarge and he mocks the salute. Fan: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!”

Sarge beats him up with ease and it’s off to Dusty for some gyrating and elbows to the arm. It’s Flair time and you know the Philly fans are all for that one. A chop later and it’s right back to Slaughter who hooks the Cobra Clutch, but Dusty and Kenny come in to fight, allowing Johnny to kick Sarge in the head to give Nicky a pin. Off to Dusty who hits the bionic elbow on Nicky for the immediate elimination, making it 3-2. Dusty gets caught in the corner but he gyrates it off.

The Flip Flop and Fly takes Kenny down but another elbow misses, giving Kenny a rollup (with a handful of jeans) pin. It’s Kenny/Johnny/Mikey vs. Flair now with Mikey starting first. Flair chops him into the corner but Mikey starts punching away. Ric hits a quick atomic drop and gets a rollup with feet on the ropes (now THAT is vintage Flair) for the elimination. Kenny gets in some shots but ducks his head and gets cradled for the pin, leaving Flair vs. Johnny. Less than a minute later it’s a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what it was expected to be and that’s all it should have been. The legends were there to have a feel good nostalgia moment and get eliminated so Flair, the only one who had been active in the last three years or so, could knock out all of the Squad and give the fans a feel good moment. Also it’s only about ten minutes long so it’s not like this was anything major. It’s not a good technical match, but if that’s what you’re expecting here, you missed the point entirely. Besides, the Squad was gone literally the next night.

Post match the Squad beats down Flair and the Legends….are nowhere in sight. Kind of a downer.

We recap Benoit vs. Chavo. Benoit came back from an injury and won the US Title but Vickie and Chavo, his former friends, wanted nothing to do with him. Chavo and Vickie didn’t like Rey making his name off Eddie’s legacy, which is true but I don’t blame Rey for it. Chavo injured Rey’s knee (Mysterio needed time off for surgery) but when Benoit tried to make the save, the Guerreros weren’t happy. There was also some nonsense about Eddie’s estate which didn’t going anywhere.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Benoit, the champion, pounds away to start and hits a quick backbreaker for one. Some knees to the ribs set up a snap suplex for another two. Chavo comes back with a bunch of forearms and stomps in the corner, only to get caught in the Crossface. Vickie makes the save by putting Chavo’s boot on the rope. Chavo hits a pair of suplexes for two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Benoit comes out of it with a Samoan drop of all things but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Another suplex is countered and Benoit rolls some Germans to set up the swan dive. Vickie grabs Benoit’s foot and the distraction makes the dive miss, sending Chris’ head crashing into the mat again. Chavo suplexes him down (again) but the frog splash only gets two. Benoit loads up the Sharpshooter but gets kicked off into Vickie who is on the apron. There’s the Crossface and Chavo taps out.

Rating: D+. That’s likely a bit low but this was a dull match. Chavo came off as more of an annoyance than a challenge here and that never makes for an entertaining match. I still shudder whenever I see Benoit take a head shot like he did off the swan dive as I always wonder which shot was the point of no return for him.

Lita says that she’s done after tonight’s match (that’s actually true) and she’s glad it’s in front of these horrible fans in Philadelphia. Edge makes some Donovan McNabb jokes and says his team is going to take out Team DX. After he leaves, Cryme Tyme leaves Lita’s locker room with a box of her stuff.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far. The fans think Lita is a crack w****. Their words, not mine.

A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. Off to a sleeper from Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes. Again, their words not mine. Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two. Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.

Rating: D. Most of that is for the ending with Lita’s head bouncing off the mat. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.

Lita asks for a microphone and makes Lillian tell the crowd to cheer for her. She doesn’t like being booed and is glad to get to leave in front of Philly because its fans suck. Here’s Cryme Tyme with the box of Lita’s stuff they stole earlier. They’re having a HO Sale and it’s cash only. The first item sold: Lita’s yeast infection medicine for one dollar.

Cryme Tyme realizes JBL is at the announce table and offer the goods to him. He says he’s the only person in America who doesn’t have some of Lita’s underwear so he gives them $100. The next item: Lita’s massager. That goes for 25 bucks and there’s only one thing left. It’s cheap, it’s wide, you can put your head in it: it’s Lita’s box. That goes for 20 bucks to end a hilarious segment.

Batista has nothing to say about the title match tonight. Booker attacked Batista at the contract signing and hit him in the throat with a scepter. After seeing a clip of it, Batista says he’s leaving tonight with the title.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Team DX: Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk

Team Rated-RKO: Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms

This is Punk’s first major match and Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. DX plays to the crowd for a LONG time before the heel entrances. The fans of course LOVE Punk, so he gets to ask if the fans are ready. Helms, the current Cruiserweight Champion, is feuding with Matt Hardy at this point. Knox, a big power guy with a beard, has a chick named Kelly Kelly with him at the moment and she’s an exhibitionist. Rated-RKO are the Raw Tag Team Champions too so most of the gold in the company is in this match.

HHH asks Kelly to flash him and has Shawn cover his eyes. Knox comes in to stop it but Shawn kicks him in the face to eliminate him. Shawn to HHH: “Who was that guy?” Points for a funny bit if nothing else. Nitro comes in to speed things up but Shawn slides to the floor and puts his arm around Melina. We’ve got a comedy match here people. Off to Jeff who works on Nitro’s arm to continue their recent feud.

Off to Matt so the Hardys can hit some nice double team stuff. Nitro finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Helms. Matt is slammed off the top and it’s off to Edge to stomp on Matt. Well that’s appropriate. Back to Helms for a suplex and it’s immediately off to Orton. After some very basic stuff, here’s Nitro again so Melina can SCREECH. Matt hooks the Side Effect and there’s the tag to Punk. Punk immediately starts his strikes and hits the knee/bulldog in the corner.

Nitro blocks the Rock Bottom but the second attempt (with an assist from Matt) sets up the Vice for the tap out. Edge comes in to face Punk and the fans are very pleased. Punk pounds on him in the corner but Orton guillotines Punk on the top rope to give the heels their first advantage. Randy comes in and hits a dropkick for two before it’s back to Helms. After some knees to the face, Helms hits a one knee Codebreaker to put Punk down.

Back to Orton for a slugout with Punk, resulting in the RKO taking Punk down. Why Randy can’t cover immediately isn’t quite clear but Shawn makes the save anyway. Edge gets the tag but spears the buckle. JR: “That middle turnbuckle isn’t in the match!” Hot tag brings in HHH to face Helms and the beating is on fast. A facebuster puts Helms down but the Edge-O-Matic breaks up the Pedigree. Everything breaks down and Jeff and Shawn dive on Rated-RKO.

Matt comes in with the Twist on Helms followed by a Swanton to make it 5-2. The heels take their belts and walk but the Hardys will have none of that. Team DX take turns beating up both members and it’s Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Edge. So it’s Orton vs. five guys now and Randy tries to run, but the Hardys and Punk stop him. Back in and it’s Chin Music and the Pedigree to complete the sweep.

Rating: C-. This was entertaining but it’s kind of a questionable ending when you consider the captains were in a pretty big feud. The guy that gets the big rub here is Punk, as he goes from a guy on the C show to rubbing elbows with two of the biggest stars ever and one of the best tag teams ever. Fun match here but it didn’t really accomplish much.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is a very loud guy that likes to challenge legends and would become Mr. Anderson in TNA. Basically Kennedy wants to break the legend of Undertaker, or about the same thing as about half the feuds Undertaker has had in years. It’s a first blood match tonight because Kennedy busted Undertaker open on Smackdown recently. Kennedy got a blood bath from Undertaker’s magic powers.

Kennedy isn’t worried but MVP (think Deion Sanders) comes up and notices the Vaseline on Kennedy’s forehead. I guess the referee isn’t watching the interview.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy immediately drops to the floor to try to get an early advantage, but Undertaker punches him down as soon as they get back inside. We head back to the floor and Kennedy gets punched over the announcers’ table with Undertaker in total control. We head to the crowd and Undertaker hits a pair of headbutts. Back to ringside and Kennedy gets in his first big move by sending Undertaker into the steps.

Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. This has been almost all Undertaker so far. We head back in and Undertaker busts out a superplex to put Kennedy down. The offense looks good but shouldn’t Undertaker be going for the head? I don’t know if internal bleeding counts but it hasn’t been mentioned in any first blood match I’ve ever seen. Kennedy hits Undertaker low but Undertaker immediately comes back with a kick to the face.

A buckle was taken off somewhere in there by Kennedy but Undertaker sends him into it twice in a row. Kennedy kicks Undertaker low again and Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth. He rolls to the floor before the referee can see it and here’s MVP with a towel to clean up the blood. They start to walk away, but MVP throws Kennedy back in the ring which is payback for Kennedy doing the same thing to MVP on Smackdown.

Undertaker pounds away in the corner but Kennedy drops him face first on the exposed buckle. Kennedy starts pounding away but MVP brings in a chair to hit….someone. It winds up hitting Undertaker and busts him open to give Kennedy the upset win. The fans boo that out of the building because Undertaker is such a legend at this point.

Rating: C. This was a decent brawl but the ending, which was to advance Undertaker/Kane vs. MVP/Kennedy, kind of sucks. The feud just never worked because at the end of the day, it’s two guys who are career midcarders at this point against two former World Champions who can beat up anyone. Kennedy never got to the point where they wanted him to be due to various reasons, but this is the fifth former World Champion he had beaten.

Kennedy beats up Undertaker post match but Undertaker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Undertaker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.

Sharmell tells Booker to be excited because tonight is Batista’s last chance.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam

Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga

It’s Philadelphia and we’ve got Sabu and RVD on one team so I think you can guess the crowd reactions. Cena is Raw World Champion and Big Show is ECW Champion. Umaga, a Samoan and formerly Jamal of 3 Minute Warning is still undefeated and a monster. Finlay is an Irish brawler.

Naturally Cena is booed out of the building by the hardcore crowd. Cena and Umaga start things off with Cena getting knocked to the floor. Everything breaks down and Umaga gets a monitor to knock out RVD for a DQ. Umaga also destroys the rest of Team Cena because that’s what savages do.

We finally get down to Finlay vs. RVD but it’s quickly off to Test for some bland big man power stuff. Back to Irishman for some stomping and then to really mix things up, MVP comes in and stomps as well. Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth as MVP puts on a chinlock. Rob comes back with a cradle for two and a spin kick to take MVP down. Van Dam kicks all of the heels including a LOUD one to Finlay. Test tries to ram RVD into the post but since he’s big and dumb, Test’s head goes into it instead. Kane chokeslams MVP and the Five Star gets the pin for Rob.

While Van Dam is getting up, Test immediately comes in and kicks his head off to make it 4-3. Test gets sent to the floor and Lashley spears him down, followed by a tornado DDT from Sabu back inside for the pin. Show immediately chokeslams Sabu to make it 3-2 and it’s time for the giants to fight. They both grabs chokeslam grips but here’s Hornswoggle (the Little Bastard at the moment) for a distraction. Finlay clocks Kane with his club so Show can pin Kane after a chokeslam. Starting with MVP’s pin, those five eliminations all came within less than two minutes. I didn’t skip anything in between.

To recap, it’s Show/Finlay vs. Cena/Lashley. Cena comes in to face the monster but is immediately taken down. Off to Finlay for a clothesline and some good old fashioned cheating. Show sends Cena flying off a headbutt and it’s back to the heel corner. After more of a beating, Cena fights them both off and makes the hot tag to Lashley. Powerslam is escaped but a spear puts Finlay down for two.

A double clothesline from Show puts Cena and Lashley down and here’s Hornswoggle again. Cena loads him up in the FU and in the distraction, Lashley spears Finlay down to make it 2-1. Both good guys take their turns on Show including stuff like double DDTs and double suplexes. JR calls Cena cock strong and I don’t want to know what that one means. Lashley breaks up the chokeslam with a spear and the FU gets the final pin.

Rating: D. As I was writing that, it felt like I was just saying what was happening and nothing special was going on. The reason it felt like nothing was going on was because nothing was going on. This match was as paint by numbers as you could ever ask for and that makes for a VERY dull match. Cena hitting the FU on Show is always worth seeing, but this didn’t work at all.

JR says that Lashley is debuting at Survivor Series tonight which is flat out wrong. To be a bit fair though, JR wasn’t on commentary for that match last year.

The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.

We recap Booker T vs. Batista. Booker won the King of the Ring and became a king with a bad British accent before winning the title off Rey Mysterio. He kept cheating to beat Batista and tonight is Batista’s last shot at the title unless he wins. Batista never lost the title in the first place and had to drop it due to injury, so tonight is his last chance to regain what he believes is still his.

Before the match, Teddy comes out and says that if Booker gets counted out or DQ’ed, he loses the title.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T

Booker is defending of course. Batista jumps him in the aisle and the referee says you have to get it in the ring. Why? Batista can win the title via DQ so no he doesn’t need to get it in the ring. Also the ruling said Booker loses if he gets counted out. It said nothing about him losing by countout so would a draw give Batista the title? Booker fires off some chops in the corner and is immediately punched in the face for his efforts. A suplex puts Booker down but he escapes an early Batista Bomb attempt.

After Booker gets back in, Batista hits a clothesline for two. This isn’t really working so far. Booker finally comes back with a hot shot to take over before sling shotting Batista’s throat into the bottom rope. Batista comes back with some right hands but Booker pokes him in the eye. We’re about five minutes into this and it’s not clicking at all. Big Dave comes out of nowhere with a side slam for two followed by a Jackhammer.

A Boss Man Slam gets two for Batista and they head to the apron to slug it out. Cole brings up a good question: what happens if there’s a double countout or double DQ? Egads now I’m thinking like Michael Cole. Presumably it would be a draw and Booker keeps the title but it’s not clear. A Sharmell distraction lets Booker take over as JBL goes on a tirade about Teddy Long being racist. Side kick puts Batista down for two. We hit a chinlock to fill in some time which is probably the last thing they should do right now. Batista comes back with some right hands and a belly to belly suplex for two.

Batista cranks things up and knocks Booker to the floor before sending him into the steps. Back in and a top rope shoulder gets two. The spinebuster gets the same but Booker grabs the Bookend for two. Batista comes back with the Batista Bomb but the champ grabs the rope. Sharmell gives Booker the title, Batista takes it from him and clocks Booker with it, new champion. That’s how the show ends: not with a Batista Bomb, but with Batista cheating.

Rating: D-. A horrible match to end a horrible show is always appropriate. Batista getting the title back was probably the right move as he was insanely over and hadn’t been champion since January. This match didn’t work at all though and it was the last time Booker would be near the World Title, which is probably a good thing if he’s as bad as he looked here.

Overall Rating: D-. When the second best match of your show is a group of guys in their late fifties or early sixties beating up male cheerleaders for ten minutes, your show is in trouble. There’s NOTHING worth seeing here at all and this show sucked. The other odd thing here is where the time went.

This show runs about two hours and forty minutes and the longest match (main event) doesn’t break fourteen minutes. There’s no big segment on it either so I have no idea where the time went. Other than the main event nothing is awful but there’s nothing worth watching. Either way, this is an awful show and probably the worst since the 90s.

Ratings Comparison

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Lita

Original: B

Redo: D

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Original: B

Redo: C-

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: C

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Batista vs. Booker T

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D-

WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2006-who-thought-batista-vs-booker-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

This show is all about brand vs. brand, which really isn’t an interesting story because they would interact pretty regularly but of course WWE doesn’t get this. Therefore, the main event is a five on five Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown Survivor Series elimination tag for pure bragging rights. At least they didn’t have a full pay per view about it yet. Let’s get to it.

As you would expect, the opening video is about fighting to survive. The theme is still mostly about Raw vs. Smackdown, which really only matters in WWE’s eyes. Still though, a well built feud for bragging rights is better than building up a match for a lame story so I’ll take what I can get.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Here’s an idea they blatantly copied from WCW as this is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title. Booker had been defending and we had a double pin in a match against Benoit, meaning we need to have seven matches instead of one. At least both guys are good. Benoit glares out at Sharmell and goes right at Booker in the corner to start. Feeling out process in the early going as Booker gets in a quick slam for two. Booker gets sent to the floor and it sounds like something falls near the entrance.

As Benoit takes Booker to the mat, Cole unintentionally buries the WCW TV Title (the first series was for a shot) by saying this series is actually important. Either Cole doesn’t know what the original was for or Vince fed him that line and then cackled a bit. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face, followed by an elbow to the same general area for two.

A raised boot in the corner and a side slam breaks it up and we hit an armbar. Yeah after the shots to the head and a slam where Benoit lands on his back, it’s a hold on the arm. Come on Booker you’re smarter than this. Thankfully Booker wakes up and goes to an abdominal stretch instead. Benoit fights out again so Booker knocks his block off with a spinwheel kick. Tazz starts talking about Cole looking mints and having a funny face as a result.

WHAT IS WITH HIM??? Every single show he goes on these insane tangents that make NO sense and barely talks about the match. Why did he keep doing commentary for the better part of ten years? Occasionally he’ll say something insightful (like AVOID THE HOLE in the Buried Alive match in 2003) but most of the time it’s just random babbling. Anyway, there’s a neckbreaker for two from Booker and we hit the chinlock.

Benoit fights up and starts the Germans, only to eat another kick to the face. A quick dragon screw leg whip looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Booker rolls him up for two. More rolling Germans look to set up the Swan Dive but Sharmell offers a distraction, only to have Benoit headbutt Booker down. The Swan Dive misses anyway and Booker grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes (and Sharmell holding them there) to win the first match in the series.

Rating: B+. This is a heck of a match and a really good opener. They’re a case of two people who work really well together and this is what they can do with time. After Booker realized that the armbar was stupid (which it was) and he started cutting Benoit off every time, the match fell into a good story that ended with Sharmell’s interferences playing in to the finish. Really good stuff. Booker would win the series in January.

Eric Bischoff is warming up for his match with Teddy Long. Oh geez it’s this show. Vince comes up to wish him luck and Bischoff brings up Montreal. Bischoff promises to bring him up to date though because the fix is in with Kurt Angle vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Cena pops up and oh geez it’s THIS show. After a quick gay joke from Cena, Vince says “keep it up my nigga” and then does his strut past Booker and Sharmell. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go sing Real American for no reason in particular.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Joey Styles of Raw and Tazz of Smackdown are on commentary as this is interpromotional. Trish is defending after Melina had MNM kidnap her on Raw and demand a title shot. Melina has MNM with her and the ticked off Trish has the recently debuted psycho Mickie James in her corner. Trish attacks to start and sends Melina to the floor for a big dive off the top. I could really get used to this psycho and angry Trish. It’s shall we say, rather attractive in a purely innocent way of course.

The headstand into a headscissors puts Melina down but she forearms Trish in the back to get a breather. Joey talks about Melina being inexperienced on paper, sending Tazz into an actually funny rant about “WHAT PAPER ARE YOU COMMENTATORS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT???” Melina kicks her square in the face but has to deal with Mickie, leaving MNM to load up a Snapshot on Trish, only to get caught just in time. Instead of that being the logical DQ, it’s just an ejection. So you can come in, pick someone up and throw them down and not get disqualified? Good to know.

Melina puts on a surfboard as the announcers debate which of Trish’s laces are more valuable at the moment. A hair takedown gets two on Melina and we hit the screeching. Tazz: “I’m kind of cool with that.” The Stratusphere (that headstand headscissors out of the corner) sets up a spinebuster of all things for two. After Mickie pulls Trish away from a charge, some kicks to the face set up a top rope bulldog to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it’s amazing how good Trish got in just a few years. She looked like she knew more about what she was doing out there than almost any Diva going today, which is probably why she’s considered the best ever. Melina would get way better when she became a wrestler instead of mainly being a valet. Not a great match but good lord Trish knew how to dress.

Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young is here.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair. HHH returned from some time off and turned on Flair, making Ric a face in the process. This led to a great match inside a cage at Taboo Tuesday where Flair turned on the magic one more time and won. You know HHH isn’t letting it end that way though so we’re having a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle before Flair can even get his robe off. They get inside with Flair in big trouble, made even worse by HHH grabbing a chair. Flair comes back with a kendo stick, which really looks weird in his hands. They brawl to the hockey boards with HHH taking over again and bringing it back to ringside. Flair is up at seven after a backdrop on the floor and an elbow to the back makes Flair swear a lot.

Ric’s strikes have little effect (WAY too early for that) and they head outside again. You can tell they have a long time to go here and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Flair goes into the post so HHH pulls out a toolbox and picks a screwdriver to bust Ric open BAD. If it wasn’t opened up enough, Ric makes sure to blade (on camera by mistake) to make it even worse.

Back in and we get more screwdriving (I would have pictured Flair being a big fan of screwdrivers), followed by two knee drops that clearly miss by a good eight inches each. I know they almost never hit but get it together production guys. They go back outside to load up the announcers’ table but first of all HHH grabs a spinebuster on the floor. HHH yells a bunch of trash on the mic so Flair grabs him by the crotch.

That’s not cool with HHH because Stephanie is the ball ripper in this company so it’s a Pedigree through the announcers’ table, only to have Flair backdrop HHH through the other table. It’s only good for nine though because HHH isn’t losing to a backdrop, even if it’s from Flair. A bunch of chops get a six for Flair but HHH can’t bring himself to use a chair. Instead HHH pounds on him even more, only to take a low blow. A chair off the head drops HHH for eight more so Flair bites the forehead.

HHH gets crotched against the post FOUR TIMES IN A ROW before Flair bites him on the back of the leg. There’s a Garvin Stomp of all things followed by a chop block but the Figure Four is broken up. Well, says, Flair, if that doesn’t work, why not a chair to crush the leg against the post? Now the Figure Four goes on and he can grab the ropes all he pleases.

HHH taps for no meaning so Flair lets go, only to have HHH beat the count at nine. He’s still able to drop Flair with a clothesline and bring in some steps. As so many people have done, HHH makes the mistake of holding them over his head, allowing Flair to score with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps. HHH is up again and two Pedigrees get eight each so HHH gives him a third. Flair is STILL getting up so it’s a sledgehammer to the general area a few inches above Flair’s back to give HHH the win.

Rating: B. Long but good here with a ridiculous amount of blood to really make this feel like an old school brawl. HHH was always good at being especially evil and look how evil he was here as he beat up a guy in his late 50s. I’m not sure how bright it was to give Flair this kind of a rub when you could build up someone new, but you know HHH wasn’t going to sell like this for anyone but Flair or Shawn. Still though, good, violent brawl.

Flair goes out on a stretcher.

Trish and Mickie are online.

Orton is giving Team Smackdown a pep talk about why he should be the leader since Batista is injured. Cue Batista who thinks he’s in charge. JBL disagrees and gets stared down in a funny bit.

Here are Edge and Lita (good lord) with something to say. Edge has an announcement to make…..and it’s not him cashing in his Money in the Bank contract. No actually he and Lita are going to have their own talk show soon, called the Cutting Edge. That’s enough of that now though so let’s go annoy Dmitri Young. Edge goes with the basic jabs at the Tigers and Young looks stunned that a heel would insult him.

After some steroids jokes, Edge runs down the Detroit sports teams (ignoring the LET’S GO REDWINGS chants). Young lists off the sports championships Detroit has won but can’t see one on Edge (who would wind up with as many World Championships as the Redwings as of 2015).

We recap the Raw World Title match which is built around trying to make Cena vs. Bischoff into Austin vs. McMahon again. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena as champion so he’s gotten Kurt Angle: Wrestling Machine to take the title. Angle has beaten him before but Kurt now has his own personal referee in Daivari to really stack the deck.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending, Daivari is referee and Angle’s YOU SUCKS are censored due to Bischoff thinking it’s unfair. Kurt takes him down by the leg to start and drops elbows on the knee, followed by an early leg crank. Back up and the threat of a right hand sends Angle to the floor but Daivari keeps Cena in the ring. So much like Bill Alfonso in ECW, Daivari is a heel for doing his job.

The fans are red hot for this one as Lawler talks about all the countries watching this show live. Apparently Coach thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Angle for no count. That earns Cena the ankle lock for way longer than anyone should be able to survive the hold. Cena gets the rope but Daivari kicks his hand away. The hold is reversed and Cena’s ankle is FINE, allowing him to slam Angle and slap Daivari. Kurt makes sure Daivari doesn’t call for the DQ so Cena rams them together to get a breather.

Cena gets sent into the steps and a second referee comes in to count two. Well you knew there was going to be a way around Daivari. Kurt grabs a waistlock before throwing Cena hard into the corner to keep him in trouble. The fans are ALL OVER Cena and another suplex gives Kurt two. Off to something like an STF on Cena but Kurt goes to a regular chinlock instead. Cena fights up and grab a DDT without selling the ankle injury one bit. The champ wins a slugout and initiates his finishing sequence, including pumping up the shoes.

Kurt clotheslines the referee down and there’s a low blow for Cena. Here’s a third referee as you would think Daivari would have risen from the dead by now. The Angle Slam gets two, followed by a superplex for the same. The moonsault misses because of course it does so Kurt uppercuts the third referee. Daivari is finally up so Cena DDTs him back down, only to have a Smackdown referee come out to take over. He’s got a quick night though as Cena hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B-. WAY too overbooked here but they had to protect Cena here, even if he wouldn’t sell being in the ankle lock for thirty seconds. You could see Cena’s inexperience in matches at this level coming through, which is so bizarre when you know what he would become. Angle was so hot at this point that they had to do something with him but what can you do when you don’t want to give him the Raw World Title? Well in this case you wait for Batista to get hurt and give him the Smackdown World Title until he leaves for TNA in less than a year.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Let’s get this over with because neither is a wrestler and this is happening because EVERYONE LOVES BRAND WARFARE! Teddy has network adviser Palmer Cannon in his corner and we have two referees to make sure this is fair. Eric throws some kicks and Teddy does his bouncy dancing. Bischoff finally chokes him down as we’re waiting on a match to break out.

The fans think this is boring and that’s being too kind. A sleeper takes Teddy down but a shoe to the head breaks it up. Bischoff’s karate shot to the throat….and here’s the Boogeyman. Eric looks to the entrance but Boogeyman is behind him with a choke and a pumphandle powerslam. Teddy wins and it’s time for more dancing.

Rating: I. I’ve had infections that were more pleasant than this. Moving on.

The Raw and Smackdown teams are cheered on by their respective rosters.

We recap the main event. Back in October at Raw Homecoming, Bischoff turned the lights out on a Smackdown six man tag. This triggered a war between the shows as they kept invading each other to try one more time to get this brand warfare thing to matter, even though no one outside of WWE cared. You over there. You say you cared? Stop lying, because you know you didn’t. Why? Because no one cared.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Big Show, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, Batista, Randy Orton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is Smackdown World Champion but has a bad upper body due to an attack by Kane and Big Show. JBL has his publicist Jillian Hall, who still has a mole on her face. Lashley is still pretty new here but considered a can’t miss prospect. Orton (with his dad) is replacing Eddie Guerrero who passed away just a few weeks before this show. Kane and Big Show are Raw Tag Team Champions. The announcers bicker throughout the nearly ten minutes of entrances which makes me think we’re in for a long match. This really is one sided on paper.

Shawn and Orton get things going after Batista wasn’t allowed to start due to his injuries. Randy backs him into the corner and slaps the taste out of Shawn’s mouth, only to have Shawn slap him down to one knee. Three times in a row Shawn headlocks him to the mat but gets caught in a headscissors. With that not working, Shawn slaps him even harder but Orton grabs a slam.

The announcers talk even more than they do now with Tazz being a jerk. Like, moreso than usual. Masters comes in but takes a dropkick from Orton. It’s off to Lashley for the big power showdown. Lashley tells him to try his luck and Masters charges into a powerslam for two. A cheap shot from the apron lets Masters try the Masterlock but you know that’s not working. Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly and it’s off to Carlito who has to be dragged in.

Some clotheslines set up a running powerslam for two (on Carlito in case you’re a bit slow today) and it’s off to Michaels. That’s fine with Lashley who slams him off the top, followed by an overhead belly to belly. I told you Lashley was a can’t miss prospect. I wonder how he wound up missing so badly in WWE. The Dominator plants Carlito but Kane chokeslams Lashley from the apron to give Shawn the pin for the first advantage.

Mysterio comes in for some kicks to Shawn’s legs but Kane interferes again with a knee to the back. It’s back to Masters who might be able to do something with Rey this banged up. A gorilla press drop sets up the tag to Kane (Tazz: “This isn’t good.”) who is quickly chopped down by some kicks to the head and a standing moonsault for two.

Rey charges right into a boot to the face though as the announcers are now talking about qualifying matches and Coach not being funny. A bearhug puts Rey in trouble as the argument turns to ratings. Tazz: “Joey I beg of you shut up.” Mysterio finally escapes and it’s off to Batista to really get Smackdown going. Kane gets in a shot to the bad ribs but Batista spears him down with ease. The rest of the Raw guys are dispatched and it’s a 619 to Kane, followed by a spinebuster for the elimination.

Batista walks into a Big Show chokeslam for two, followed by a double chokeslam from Kane and Show behind the two referees’ back. They didn’t notice that three of the nine people still at ringside weren’t around? We settle down to JBL vs. Big Show but the giant throws Rey around a bit first. Orton snaps Show’s throat across the top and the Clothesline From JBL, the 619, the RKO, another Clothesline From JBL and a springboard seated senton from Rey finally ties it up.

We’re down to Mysterio/JBL/Orton vs. Shawn/Carlito/Masters, which again is pretty one sided. Everything breaks down again and JBL throws Shawn on the floor with a fall away slam. Masters plants Rey down and it’s off to Carlito for a chinlock as Shawn is still down. Rey fights up and JBL gets in a blind tag, setting up another Clothesline From JBL to get rid of Carlito, who has to be helped from the ring. Masters suplexes JBL for two as Shawn STILL hasn’t moved.

Back to Mysterio who avoids a charge in the corner and hits the 619, followed by Dropping the Dime (Springboard legdrop. Tazz: “HE DROPPED THE WHOLE DOLLAR ON HIM!”) to make it 3-1. JBL throws Shawn back inside and it’s off to Rey for another 619. As Joey Styles points out that Smackdown could have won on a countout, Shawn superkicks Rey and JBL for back to back pins in 15 seconds to get it down to Orton vs. Michaels.

Orton is quickly sent to the floor for a big dive as things speed up. Back in and some clotheslines set up the top rope elbow as the fans want Undertaker (who was advertised for the show). JBL tries to come in with a chair but eats a superkick, setting up the RKO to give Smackdown the pin.

Rating: B+. That’s how you do an elimination tag. This was great stuff (save for the commentary, though it was actually entertaining at times) with the eliminations coming fast enough that they didn’t get ridiculous and Shawn doing his best to make you believe he was dead before his comeback. They kept people looking strong too and the whole thing worked well. Good match and a really good main event to make the Survivor Series match feel important again.

The Smackdown roster hits the ring and here’s Undertaker. Well scratch that as first we have the druids bringing a casket. After a lot of chanting, the casket lights on fire (as Orton had done to Undertaker about a month and a half back) and Undertaker walks out. Undertaker stalks to the ring to clean house and a throat slit has Orton terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. For a show that almost no one remembers, this is a heck of a good card. The main event is good, there’s a lot of other solid stuff around, Trish looks about as good as she ever has……..and dang it Teddy Long’s dancing makes me smile. I don’t think I can call this a classic but there’s a lot of really good stuff on it to carry it a lot higher than I thought it was going to be. They’re in a transitional period here but this was a great show.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B+

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

2012 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

2012 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B-

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

2012 Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

2015 Redo: I (For Infections I’ve had that were more entertaining)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

And the redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/11/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2005-raw-vs-smackdown/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 8, 2003
Location: Metro Centre, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

With the pay per view right around the corner, it might be nice if they set up a few more matches. There’s only a few things set up already and unfortunately we’re likely in for more of the Mr. America story dominating the show. Last week’s segment was fine, but I have a feeling it’s going to overstay its welcome in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the Mr. America story, which somehow seems to focus on Stephanie. Vince has vowed to take the mask off of America and prove it’s really Hogan.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince to get things going. He’s had a change of heart so tonight Hogan is going to be here tonight….via satellite from Tampa, Florida. That means Mr. America won’t be here because they’re clearly the same person. Even Canadians could figure something like this out. The YOU SCREWED Bret chants start up with Cole saying that means Bret Hart. Thanks Mikey. Vince: “You’re right I did and I’ll screw every one of you if you just give me the chance!”

This brings out Stephanie with Vince demanding to know why she signed Mr. America. She did it for the fans because she had heard about how big a star he was and all his experience. Vince wants to know why she did this, which Stephanie says was to counter Bischoff’s attempts to sign Mr. America, which is why he got the iron clad deal. The only way to break the contract is to prove that Mr. America is Hogan. That’s cool with Vince and he has Stephanie leave so he can interview Hogan from Tampa.

We go live via satellite to Hogan’s office, featuring a prominently displayed copy of his new book on the shelf, what appears to be a Divas swimsuit magazine on the table and…..a really big Home Depot catalog/book? Hogan says he wants to be back in front of the crowd because it’s killing him to not be out there.

He’d love to team up with Mr. America one day, even if there are some physical similarities between the two. Of course Hogan’s Pythons are bigger and he’s much better looking. Vince laughs it off and says we should see Mr. America right here in Nova Scotia. Hogan looks upset but quotes George Washington by saying he cannot tell a lie. There’s a chance that Mr. America will show up tonight, which is an idea that Vince loves.

I have SO many questions. Who in the world was telling Stephanie all this stuff about Mr. America without mentioning THAT IT WAS HULK HOGAN??? Who would have seen Mr. America wrestle in person and called Stephanie to tell her about him? Are we supposed to buy that Hogan was just off working independent promotions throughout his career under a mask?

Stephanie said she was told he had a lot of experience, which would suggest he’s been doing this for awhile. So some people who she apparently trusts called her and told her to sign this guy who Eric Bischoff was interested in as well but apparently either didn’t realize that it was Hogan or didn’t know/care about Vince banning Hogan from wrestling? Was Bischoff just going to sign Mr. America and hope Vince didn’t notice? Or did he have the same stupid sources too?

In theory this would have been a long term plan from Hogan but he was sent home on April 3 and the first vignette played on April 17. That would suggest that Mr. America was signed during that two week period as Stephanie couldn’t advertise him until he was signed. So he and Bischoff heard about Mr. American, got obsessed with signing him sight unseen, got into a bidding war to sign him, and then signed him in less than two weeks?

Back to the sources who hyped up Mr. America, did they sound like a San Francisco barber, a mouth from the south and a nasty sensation by any chance? Or did Hogan start doing this months ago on the off chance he lost at Wrestlemania? Oh and did Hogan sign the other contract “Mr. America”? And is he now getting two checks? There are so many questions I kind of need answered about this whole shindig. Unless this whole thing is Stephanie and Hogan being in cahoots with each other, this story really doesn’t make much sense.

Post break, Vince is told that Mr. America is here. So wait: did Mr. America pay off the production staff to lie and say they weren’t in Florida? Was the tape a fake? Did Hogan convince them all to fly back to Canada, set up a room to look like his office and then show up later? Why am I thinking about this more than I did in any class in college?

Matt Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrero

Non-title. Matt hates waking up before noon and eats slowly to savor his food. Eddie headlocks him down to start and the fans are entirely behind Guerrero. A springboard…something that seemed to have been edited gives Eddie two but Matt sends him chest first into the middle buckle to take over.

Back to back Side Effects set up a Ricochet for two on Eddie. The middle rope legdrop is broken up though and Eddie rolls some suplexes. Matt avoids the frog splash but can’t get the Twist of Fate. Instead it’s a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head for two. Matt tries another Side Effect, only to get rolled up (sweet) for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Matt was trying here, though I’m not sure what the point is in having a champion lose over and over. There are other heels you could have in this spot to protect the title but it’s not like there’s anyone around to challenge him for it at the moment. They could develop some more talent for the division but it’s not likely anytime soon.

Team Angle runs out and steals the gold medals back from Los Guerreros.

Big Show is with the FBI for some reason when some production guys carry a piece of equipment. As they walk by, a good sized guy in a blue mask can be seen.

Brian Kendrick vs. Jamie Noble

Brian is now officially Brian “Spanky” Kendrick. Before the match, Kendrick gets a CENA SUCKS chant going in honor of last week. Kendrick flips out of a wristlock to start and nips up into a kick to the chest. Sliced Bread #2 is broken up though and Kendrick is tossed outside where Nidia gets in a few kicks to the ribs.

Back in and a cravate doesn’t keep Kendrick in trouble for very long but a half crab has some more success. Kendrick fights up for a bit, only to get tossed into the corner for his efforts. An enziguri gives Kendrick two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. That’s fine as he lands on his feet and grabs Sliced Bread #2 for the pin.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have much time but they packed in some good stuff. As usual, these guys could be tearing the house down for the Cruiserweight Title but for some reason Matt is stuck as a midcard jobber. Let some of these guys have ten minutes somewhere and see what they can do, perhaps in a pay per view title match. Really, what could it hurt?

Cena is watching in the back when Mr. America comes up. John doesn’t believe his eyes.

We see the whole Big Show attacking Rey Mysterio scene from Backlash. Mysterio will be back next week.

Brock Lesnar is ready to team with Chris Benoit against A-Train and Big Show. As for the title match with Big Show, let’s make it a stretcher match. Do you know what that means? At Judgment Day, Big Show is leaving on a stretcher.

Vince is getting coffee when Funaki comes up to say Mr. America is here. The boss insists that he’s an impostor and makes Funaki make the coffee.

Here’s Mr. America as the first fifteen minutes of the show just wasn’t enough time. Vince and Stephanie are watching from a small office with what looks like the same furniture from Austin and Bischoff’s office last night. Even the plant is the same. Anyway, Vince insists that this is an impostor.

America finally starts talking and we cut to Vince’s panicked face. Back in the arena, America insists that he’s not Hulk Hogan. No, he’s actually a former 165lb accountant from Hoboken, New Jersey who bought Wrestlemania to see Hogan. There was something about Hogan that made him want to get in the gym and now he’s the physical specimen he is now. So he was 6’6 and 165lbs? That’s quite the odd visual.

Anyway here comes Vince to say that mask is coming off and Stephanie is going to come out here and make it happen. A quick distraction lets Vince get in a low blow but he can’t get the mask off. America shoves him away and right into Stephanie, who is knocked cold. The boss gets knocked to the floor and America carries Stephanie to the back. I’m guessing you can now add Stephanie to the list of people this story shouldn’t be about but will be anyway.

During the break, Stephanie was getting medical attention when Vince stormed in. She blames him for the injuries, of course. Vince freaks out and yells about Hogan.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Sable is out to watch. They do a catfight for a bit until Torrie gets a sunset flip for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Sable challenges Torrie to a bikini contest at the pay per view. Torrie unzips her gear to reveal a bra, which seems to be a yes. Considering Torrie is currently in Playboy and her entrance video is mainly her in bikinis, I’m not sure why someone is going to pay to see her in another swimsuit. The same is pretty much true of Sable but WWE doesn’t like to use common sense all the time.

Video on Kurt Angle.

Team Angle vs. Rikishi/Tajiri

Non-title. Rikishi knocks Charlie to the floor to start and sits on his chest for trying a sunset flip. He’s no Torrie Wilson. Tajiri comes in for a spinwheel kick to Shelton but Charlie offers a cheap shot to take over. A hard superkick drops Charlie though and the hot tag brings in Rikishi. Cole actually tries to convince us that Rikishi only weighs 350lbs, which might be the case if you cut off his upper half. Everything breaks down and Rikishi superkicks Haas and Tajiri adds the Tarantula. Shelton pulls Rikishi out though and it’s the superkick into the jackknife cover to put Tajiri away.

Rating: D+. The time issue strikes again as there’s only so much you can do with less than five minutes. Well that and with Rikishi in the match as he’s getting bigger and bigger every single week. I’m still not sure why Tajiri isn’t used in a more prominent role as he’s solid in the ring but stuck in jobbing roles like this one.

Los Guerreros run out and steal the picture of Angle and the gold medals.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Kendrick is on commentary. Before the match, Cena promises to rip the nose off the rhinoceros and make him need a gynecologist. Rhyno hammers on him to start and kicks Cena in the side of the head to send Cena outside. Back in and Cena scores with a suplex before cranking on Rhyno’s arms. Rhyno slugs away but gets caught by the Throwback for two. Cena is back up in a hurry but walks into the spinebuster. Rhyno is down though so Cena goes for the chain. It’s Kendrick making the save though, allowing Rhyno to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad little power match here and it advances the entertaining Kendrick vs. Cena feud. Rhyno was playing it mostly even with Cena so it didn’t even feel like the last second fluke win. Cena needs a good win to keep his momentum though as he lost to Lesnar and is in a much lower level feud with Kendrick. I’m sure he’ll be fine though.

Cena goes after Kendrick and avoids a Gore from Rhyno, who hits the steps instead.

The FBI is planning something.

Judgment Day rundown.

Lesnar is on his way to the ring when he runs into Nunzio, who wants more respect. Nunzio hits him and gets Brock to run into a room, which the FBI barricades with a forklift. So he’s kind of dumb too? Big Show and A-Train are rather pleased and Show says he’s going to face Benoit on his own. Is there a reason Lesnar isn’t banging on the door to try to get out?

Chris Benoit vs. Big Show

Show has a stretcher with Mysterio, Benoit and Lesnar’s names on it. Benoit gets right in his face and is promptly chopped back down. Some shots to Show’s leg and head are shrugged off and it’s a big side slam to put him down. There’s a delayed suplex as Cole says Andre the Giant vs. Killer Khan was in 1986 (1981 really). Benoit fights out of a bearhug and dropkicks the knee, setting up the Swan Dive. The Crossface is broken up as A-Train distracts Benoit with the stretcher. That’s enough to set up the chokeslam and give Show the pin.

Rating: D. This was just a step above a squash though at least they kept it quick. Show beating Benoit with some help is an acceptable enough of a way to build him up for Lesnar, though the stretcher thing is another lame gimmick that feels very tacked on. They’d be better with something like Last Man Standing or a street fight or something but we get this lame idea instead. Also was there really a need to announce the tag match for an hour and a half and then switch it to a singles match at the last minute?

Benoit gets beaten down until Lesnar makes the save, only to take a beating of his own to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The wrestling in the first half of the show saves it from being a failure but the overkill of Mr. America is already getting to be a lot. Aside from the litany of holes in the story’s logic, you can only assume that we’re heading towards America vs. Piper or McMahon (like O’Haire would get that spot). It’s probably going to be Piper and the thought of that makes my skin crawl. The story is fine for something simple that gets a few minutes a week but this was close to a quarter of the show. That’s too much for almost any story, especially one that doesn’t have a lot of depth like this one.

The rest of the show is up and down with some good matches that very little but not much in the storytelling department. Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle over Eddie and Chavo stealing stuff isn’t all that interesting and Sable vs. Torrie is what it is. That leaves you with Lesnar vs. Show, which isn’t doing much for the champ at all. Lesnar really needs a top opponent and Big Show just isn’t that person. Angle and Undertaker coming back will help things out but Lesnar has already beaten both of them. It might be, gulp, time to elevate someone for more than a month at a time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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No Mercy 2017
Date: September 24, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

I don’t remember being this excited for a B pay per view in a very long time. This show is all about the double main event with a combination of Brock Lesnar defending the Universal Title against Braun Strowman and John Cena vs. Roman Reigns in one heck of a big time match. That should be more than enough to carry this show so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Elias vs. Apollo Crews

No real story here as this was just thrown together for the sake of a Kickoff match. Elias sings a little ditty about Los Angeles but gets cut off by Titus Worldwide and Crews in particular. Elias shoves him away without much effort and grabs a headlock to keep Crews slowed down. An armbar has Elias in some trouble and Crews snaps off a dropkick to take over. Elias sends him to the apron though and knocks Crews outside as we take a break.

Back with Elias still in control until Crews punches him in the ribs and slowly slugs away. Crews fights out of a reverse chinlock and scores with the standing shooting star. An enziguri staggers Elias but he sends Crews into the corner, setting up Drift Away for the pin at 8:54.

Rating: D+. This felt like a long Raw match and to be fair that’s all it was really supposed to be. Apollo losing again doesn’t really do anything that bad for him as it’s not like h had anything going for him anyway. On the other hand you have Elias, who is looking more and more like someone they would like to push every single week. Good outing from Elias but not much of a match.

Elias goes after Crews again but Titus makes a fast save.

The opening video looks at the two main events and talks about how everyone has the potential to show no mercy.

Intercontinental Title: Jason Jordan vs. The Miz

Jordan is challenging after winning a six way on Raw. Miz gets a bit too cocky to start and walks into a series of suplexes for his efforts. A cheap shot to the ribs has Jason in trouble though and a DDT gets two. The dueling WHO’S YOUR DADDY/LET’S GO MIZ chants starts up as Jordan slugs away, only to get sent outside for a breather. Back in and we hit the YES Kicks to Jordan with Cole and Corey arguing over who invented them.

Jordan catches one of them in another suplex and a Saito suplex is good for a near fall. Some rolling northern lights suplexes give Jordan a bridging two and Miz bails outside again. Back in and Jordan slaps on a Crossface for a bit, only to miss the running shoulder in the corner. Another suplex drops Miz and now the shoulder hits but Jordan has to go after Bo Dallas. Curtis Axel gets in a cheap shot though, knocking Jordan into Miz for the Skull Crushing Finale to retain at 10:10.

Rating: C. Jordan’s suplexes looked great but I’m not sure that’s enough to carry him to glory. He really doesn’t have enough of a character to make it work but maybe it just needs another tweak to really start clicking. Miz retaining is the right call as he gets to keep setting himself closer towards the most days with the title.

Post match Jordan says he’s love a rematch and thinks Miz sucks, just like the chants about his father.

Long recap of Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor. Bray targeted Finn for thinking he was a false idol with the Balor Club. Bray beat him on Raw but then lost to the Demon at Summerslam. Now Bray wants to win again to show he can beat Balor himself.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Bray jumps him before the bell and sends Balor into various hard objects. The referees come out to check on Balor and start to take him to the back until Bray says that Balor is a coward who is scared of the monster in front of him. Of course those are fighting words and the brawl is on early. Sister Abigail is broken up and Balor sidesteps a charge to send Bray outside.

Back in and Bray catches him with a superplex to stay on the bad ribs like a good villain should. Finn’s shoulder is sent down into the apron as Bray is picking him apart piece by piece. Bray gets caught in the ring skirt though (That’s still a thing?) and Balor kicks him in the chest. Back in and Balor goes up, only to have Bray do the spider walk to scare the heck out of Finn.

The Sling Blade puts Bray down but he pops back up for a shot to the ribs and the backsplash for two. A double stomp gets Balor out of trouble but he takes too long going up top. Bray pulls him back down and hits a heck of a clothesline for two more. Back to back suplex throws have the ribs in more trouble (good psychological sense) but he takes too long on the ropes too. Balor hits the running corner dropkick and the Coup de Grace is good for the pin at 11:55.

Rating: C+. Better match than their last effort and hopefully this ends their rivalry so Bray can find someone else to beat him up for a change. The match ran into the same trap that so many Wyatt matches run into: I didn’t buy most of his near falls because it felt like we were just waiting around for him to get beaten. They really need to fix that if they want Bray to move forward. Balor on the other hand needs to be in the World Title picture like….oh anytime would be nice.

Asuka debuts at TLC.

Sheamus and Cesaro say they’ll win.

Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Ambrose are defending. Ambrose sends both challengers outside to start but gets run over from behind by Sheamus. Cesaro rams him hard into the steps and comes up (well, he’s still on the ground but you get the idea) holding his arm. Back in and things actually slow down a bit for the referee to check on the arm so you know it’s serious. Cesaro’s boot to the face gets two and he cranks on the arm for good measure.

Dean fights up and sends him into the post though, allowing the hot tag to Rollins so house can be cleaned in a hurry, starting with the springboard clothesline and a catapult into the post. There’s the low superkick as Cesaro is bleeding from the face, due to LOSING BOTH OF HIS FRONT TEETH WHEN HIS HEAD SMACKED INTO THE POST! AND HE’S STILL GOING! Sweet goodness someone get this man a…..what the heck should he get? Sheamus is ticked off (must be a dental enthusiast) and grabs three straight Irish Curses to take Seth down.

It’s back to Cesaro (now less bloody) for a big boot to take Ambrose off the apron. Rollins slugs away anyway and avoids a charge to send Sheamus into the post. One heck of a backdrop sends Cesaro outside and the hot tag brings Dean back in. Ambrose clotheslines Sheamus outside and, while still favoring the arm, hits a suicide dive. Back in and Seth has to save Dean from a double Razor’s Edge, only to have Cesaro kick him to the floor.

That means a Sharpshooter and Crossface for Dean, who somehow makes the ropes. The double Razor’s Edge gets two and Sheamus can’t believe the kickout (fair enough, as that should be a heck of a finisher). With nothing else working, the super White Noise is loaded up but Rollins is there for a hurricanrana….which is blocked through raw power.

Sheamus gives Ambrose the regular White Noise and Cesaro superbombs Rollins onto Dean for the most ludicrous kickout I’ve seen in months. Dean collapses before a Brogue Kick can connect so Sheamus tries again, only to hit Cesaro by mistake. The wind-up knee knocks Sheamus into Dirt Deeds to retain the titles at 15:57.

Rating: B+. Do we still have Isaac Yankem’s business card? I don’t think I need to explain that this was an insanely hard hitting match with both teams beating the fire (and teeth) out of each other. I wasn’t expecting anything coming into this and while the kickouts were ridiculous at times (unfortunately that has to be plural), heck of a performance here and worth checking out.

We recap the Women’s Title match, which is a five way due to trying to throw in everyone they can. Alexa Bliss is defending, Sasha Banks is getting a mandatory rematch, Nia Jax and Emma won a tag match to get here and Bayley is just there because reasons.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Emma vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Bliss is defending her right to get killed by Asuka. Emma now has new music that starts with “it’s all about me”. Uh, nothing has ever been about you Emma. Bliss and Jax are knocked to the floor without much effort and it’s a rare triple test of strength from the other three. Emma is sent outside as well to give us the big showdown, only to have Nia back in and destroy the mere mortals.

Bliss comes back in and tries her DDT on Jax, who just shrugs it off in a nearly funny moment. Banks tries a save so Nia Samoan drops her and Bliss at the same time, leaving Bayley to dive in for a save. The guillotine choke over the ropes has Nia in trouble so everyone can get together and dump her out. Nia gets right back up and grabs Emma, who slips between her legs and grabs a powerbomb with Bayley helping and Banks and Bliss dropkicking her away from the ropes.

Nia lands ON HER HEAD but thankfully seems to be alive. Back in and Banks hits Rey Mysterio’s sitout bulldog on Emma, followed by the Bank Statement on Bliss. Bayley makes a save and grabs the Bayley to Belly for two of her own. Nia is back up though and starts destroying people again, including a legdrop on Sasha for two. The monster is taken to the floor but Bliss uses the distraction to DDT Bayley and retain the title at 9:59.

Rating: B-. THEN WHY WAS EMMA IN THE FREAKING MATCH??? Of all the people they could have take the fall (and by that I mean of like three), they pick BAYLEY? The one coming back from injury after her horrible run? They have the jobbiest jobber to ever job in Emma and she’s just out there on the floor with the rest of them while Bayley takes the fall? And they wonder why no one buys into her. The other problem here is Nia, who needs to actually win something at some point in her career.

Bliss says she’s a goddess.

Clip from No Mercy 2005 with Batista retaining the Smackdown World Title over Eddie Guerrero.

Long recap of John Cena vs. Roman Reigns. Cena came to Raw to face Reigns and then destroyed him in a series of promos. Reigns talked about Cena leaving for Hollywood and says he needs to win this match to really be the big dog.

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns shoulders him down to start, drawing a YOU BOTH SUCK chant. Cena actually gets out of the ring and walks up the ramp (Huh?), allowing Reigns to follow him up and get in a shot to the face to take over again. Some right hands have little effect on Reigns, who drops Cena with a single shot for two. Cena sends him into the steps for a breather but still doesn’t seem to have the killer instinct going yet.

Reigns does the same thing to him, followed by the apron dropkick. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as Reigns gets two. Cena gets in a few right hands but a pair of kicks cut him off again as Cena has still had almost no offense. We hit the chinlock as the announcers are suggesting that Cena is starting to lose his big match skills and the stupid fans chant boring.

Back up and the shoulder block is cut off with an uppercut as Reigns is nailing the heel style. Cena’s finishing sequence is initiated but the Five Knuckle Shuffle is countered with another Samoan drop. The Superman Punch is countered into an STF but Reigns powers out into the sitout powerbomb for two more. Cena powers up again and hits the AA for two on a very near fall that I almost bought.

The top rope Fameasser is countered with a not great powerbomb for two and another Superman Punch gets another near fall. Back up and Reigns’ spear hits the post (CHECK HIS TEETH! CHECK HIS TEETH!) so Cena grabs the super AA for another very close two that I bought more than the standard version.

With nothing else working, Cena loads up the announcers’ tables but his third AA is countered into a spear through the table, though Cena kind of countered it with a DDT. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!” That’s only good for two back inside but another spear is countered into rolling AA’s for a two that I didn’t buy as much this time around. Another Superman Punch and another spear gives Reigns the pin at 21:48. Cole: “This may be the biggest win of Reigns’ career!” No Cole. No.

Rating: B. Yeah this didn’t really work like it was supposed to and the spamming of finishers was laughable at the ending. The fact that I bought the first AA, really bought the second AA, and didn’t buy the rolling AA’s tells you all you need to know. This was supposed to be some big win that made Reigns but he’s main evented THREE WRESTLEMANIAS IN A ROW. Excuse me if I’m not thrilled with Reigns winning the co-main event of a B show. It’s a big win, but this wasn’t anything close to the level of epic they were hoping for.

Cena raises Reigns’ hand and sits in the corner after Reigns leaves. The fans applaud and give him a THANK YOU CENA chant because they’re acting like he’s retiring for some reason. Cena goes to the ramp, turns around and salutes before leaving.

Miz tells Kurt Angle he wants a special MizTV with Roman Reigns tomorrow night because that win was the same as retiring the Undertaker. Angle agrees and says it’s opening the show. Translation: PLEASE DON’T WATCH MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!

Cruiserweight Title: Enzo Amore vs. Neville

Enzo is challenging and comes out dressed like Beetlejuice. Before the match, Enzo runs his mouth about taking the king’s queen (Enzo: “What is a king without a queen?” Still a king you buffoon.) and something about cookie dough. Neville wristlocks him to start and takes Enzo down with a front facelock. A backflip out of trouble just earns Enzo a kick to the leg as Neville doesn’t seem to be sweating this one too much.

Neville sends him head first into the corner and stomps away, followed by a sliding kick to the head. All champ so far and you can feel the screwy ending coming. One heck of a superkick drops Enzo again and more kicks have him reeling. Neville goes up but takes too long jawing at the fans for the Phoenix splash. The DDG gets a close two on the champ but he throws Enzo outside and over the barricade. With the referee at nine, Enzo holds up the title and dives back in. The referee takes it away, allowing Enzo to hit a low blow for the pin and the title at 9:43.

Rating: F. Enzo Amore is Cruiserweight Champion. This is a failure.

D for those of you who are picky about this kind of stuff. It was a squash with a screwy finish.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman, which is going to be a big collision. Strowman is the biggest monster that Lesnar has ever faced and he might not be enough of a beast to conquer him.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is challenging. Brock gets shoved down to start and a takedown attempt is shoved away. The first German suplex is no sold and Brock gets chokeslammed (Graves: “CHOKESLAM CITY BROCK!”). Braun’s running powerslam only gets two and Heyman is panicking. An elbow and headbutt block another German suplex attempt and Brock’s back gives out on an F5 attempt.

Braun posts him and sends Brock hard into the corner, only to miss a charge. Strowman gets caught in the Kimura and despite Braun grabbing the ropes four times, he settles for a spinebuster to break the hold. It’s Suplex City time with numbers two thru six having Strowman in trouble and Lesnar in a puddle of sweat. The F5 doesn’t work though and a second running powerslam plants Lesnar. A third only gets two on Brock as the fans aren’t reacting to these near falls. Back up and the F5 retains the title out of nowhere at 8:58.

Rating: D. Well that was garbage. They had something going in the first few minutes but Brock just shrugged everything off and hit the F5 to retain. You know, likely because we need Reigns vs. Lesnar II in New Orleans. Braun made one big mistake coming into this match: he got himself over when he wasn’t supposed to and WWE isn’t changing their plans for anyone, especially if the World Title is involved.

Overall Rating: B. That was a heck of a surprise as everything I was looking forward to was either disappointing or just bad and almost everything that I wasn’t interested in was good stuff. Reigns vs. Cena was certainly entertaining though nowhere near as big as WWE thinks it was. Strowman vs. Lesnar….yeah we all bought into the false hope that we’re getting ANYTHING other than Reigns vs. Lesnar II in New Orleans. It’s a shame, but I can’t really say I’m surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised.

The rest of the show was actually very good with the low point being…..I guess Balor vs. Wyatt? I had a good time with this show, even if it was for the polar opposite reason I was expecting to. Still though, it’s one of the better B shows they’ve done in a long time and the good stuff at the beginning more than makes up for the lackluster main event.

Of course nothing makes up for Enzo winning. That’s a wound that will never heal.

Results

The Miz b. Jason Jordan – Skull Crushing Finale

Finn Balor b. Bray Wyatt – Coup de Grace

Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro/Sheamus – Dirty Deeds to Sheamus

Alexa Bliss b. Bayley, Nia Jax, Emma and Sasha Banks – DDT to Bayley

Roman Reigns b. John Cena – Spear

Enzo Amore b. Neville – Low blow

Brock Lesnar b. Braun Strowman – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Backlash 2003
Date: April 27, 2003
Location: Worcester Centrum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

If WWE held the least important pay per view in recent memory, does it matter in the slightest? This is a glorified Raw pay per view with a handful of Smackdown matches thrown in to fill out the card. It’s a really bad time for WWE at the moment and I don’t remember looking forward to a pay per view less than this one in a long time. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Rock vs. Goldberg, which is billed as a dream match (fair enough) but the build really hasn’t done it any favors. No other matches are mentioned.

As a side note: Scott Steiner beat Rico in the dark match. I know you hear about how big of a collapse his WWE run was but my goodness I never realized it was this bad.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros

Eddie and Chavo are challenging. Team Angle brings out a framed picture of Kurt, complete with medals hanging off the corner. Haas starts with Eddie with the champ getting rolled up a few times for some early near falls. It’s off to Chavo, who stops to lay over the top rope for a bit of fun.

Benjamin comes in as well and Chavo actually wrestles him down, which only seems to give Benjamin a bit more of a serious look. A knee to the back slows Chavo down but Eddie gets in one of his own to keep Benjamin in trouble. What’s good for the champ is good for the Guerrero perhaps? Eddie gets in a few cheap shots on the floor and puts something into his boot. The slingshot hilo gets two as this has been all Guerreros to start.

For some reason Eddie lets Shelton tag out and some choking from the apron lets the champs take over. Shelton does the jump over Haas spot for two before slapping on one of his own. A powerslam sets up another chinlock as the match has slowed considerably. Haas comes in to stay on the back but a few kicks to the head allow Eddie to make the hot tag.

Heel miscommunication puts both champs in the corner but Shelton gives Chavo a good looking powerbomb. Eddie is right back in with Three Amigos to Charlie and Chavo gets a very near fall. A great looking frog splash crushes Haas so Chavo can get two more with Shelton making the last minute (perhaps post last minute) save. Chavo tries a suplex but it’s the Bobby Heenan Wrestlemania V finish with Shelton holding his foot so Haas can get the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. Good choice for an opener here with the mostly fast paced action and a few hot near falls near the end. They got some time to make this work as well and it was a better match as a result. Eddie and Chavo will be fine as they’re so smooth in the ring that they can make almost anyone look better than they can on their own.

Post match, Los Guerreros jump the champs and steal the belts, leaving in a great looking green car.

Torrie Wilson tells Test to stop calling her but he keeps hitting on her anyway. Test calls her a tease for being in Playboy and insists that she wants him. Being a human, Torrie says no because A, he’s Test and B, she’s Stacy Keibler’s friend. Torrie goes to leave but Test pulls her back and kisses her. She storms off as Sable looks on with a rather evil smile. This storyline just went from stupid to REALLY bad n near record time.

Before the next match, here’s Roddy Piper with a basket full of coconuts. Piper: “I have a loverly bunch of coconuts.” He introduces Sean O’Haire and promises that he’ll teach Rikishi that everyone pays the piper. When purchasing coconuts perhaps?

Sean O’Haire vs. Rikishi

Rikishi wins a slugout on the floor to start and throws O’Haire inside for the opening bell. An early Samoan drop gets no cover as Rikishi has to go after Piper, allowing Sean to get in a superkick. We hit the neck crank with some kicks to the back thrown in for good measure. The fans keep booing something in the crowd as Rikishi fights up and splashes O’Haire in the corner.

Sean pretty easily kicks away the Stinkface as Piper gets inside with the coconut. That goes nowhere as a double superkick puts both guys down. Piper comes in again but gets coconutted to the head. The distraction is enough for O’Haire to hit the reverse Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. Terrible match of course but points for putting someone young over. I know the focus is on Piper (not a surprise) but at least they’re trying to push someone fresh. I’d come up with something other than the Snuka vs. Piper feud from twenty years ago, though at least they don’t have Snuka getting back in the ring. Yet at least.

Sable tells Stacy that Torrie kissed Test and even gave him the advance copy of Playboy a few weeks ago. I’ve started typing a few different things about how stupid this is but I think it speaks for itself. I mean…..Eugene was presented as ten times smarter than Stacy in this segment.

Rob Van Dam likes being a champion but says it doesn’t matter what happens tonight because Chief Morely (guest referee, as announced on Heat) won’t let he and Kane retain. Kane says they’ll take everyone down with them.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are defending and Morely is guest referee. Bubba jumps Van Dam from behind to start but a quick leg trip gets him out of trouble. A standoff slows things down but more importantly allows Van Dam to hit that signature pose. Bubba drops him with a right hand and does the same pose to a rather negative reaction. It’s off to D-Von vs. Kane as this is already feeling like a glorified Raw match. The abundant amount of empty chairs would seem to back up that theory.

A big boot gives Kane two and it’s back to Bubba to change things up a bit. The fans want tables but have to settle for Kane getting two off a spinebuster instead. Morely hasn’t been much of a factor so far. Van Dam’s split legged moonsault is good for two but it’s time for some good old fashioned cheating. D-Von comes in sans tag to draw Kane in as well, meaning Van Dam has to take What’s Up.

It’s off to a chinlock and Bubba actually comes in with a basement dropkick. Rob finally gets in a kick to the face and the hot tag brings in Kane. Everything breaks down and it’s Rob’s top rope kick to D-Von’s face. Rolling Thunder hits Bubba but Kane comes back in with the top rope clothesline to D-Von.

Morely finally does something by hitting Kane low but a second swing hits Bubba in the jaw by mistake. That’s enough for D-Von who beats on Morely but Lance Storm comes in with a springboard clothesline. Bubba dispatches Lance without too much effort and it’s a 3D to Morely. Kane grabs a chokeslam on Bubba and the Five Star is enough for the pin from another referee.

Rating: C-. Overbooking aside, this wasn’t half bad but it was really just a longer version of what they do on Raw most of the time. The story is out of gas at this point and unfortunately that ending is likely to see it continue for whatever reason. The division needs more teams and hopefully the evil French guys can help out a bit.

Since this story hasn’t gone on long enough, Stacy goes to see Torrie, who says Test kissed her. Stacy doesn’t buy it and a cat fight is on. I have no idea why most of these women are here when they’re not on the card, nor why Ivory is in a towel despite not having a match.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending and comes in banged up. We get a staredown early on until Trish actually takes her down without too much effort. A backbreaker gets Jazz out of trouble and we hit the double chickenwing. Trish gets thrown down by the hair and Jazz sits on her ribs for good measure. The comeback is short lived as Trish charges into a boot in the corner and the Stratusphere is countered into something like a super Styles Clash.

Jazz goes with a weak half crab but Trish reverses into the full thing. The Chick Kick gets two and Stratusfaction gets the same with Teddy Long throwing in a shoe (make your own Austin Powers joke) for the save. The referee believes that Teddy didn’t do it, despite the fact that HE’S ONLY WEARING ONE SHOE! Trish tries a sunset flip but Jazz sits down on it and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Rather solid match with a finish that felt like it belonged in the NWA. Above all else though they both looked comfortable out there, which is a big step up from most of the women around this company. Good little match here and the finish should hopefully help set up some fresh challengers for the title in the not so distant future.

Booker, Shawn and Nash agree to trust each other but Nash wants HHH for himself. Well they would be the only ones to want that match.

We recap Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio, which is entirely built around a single 619 that knocked Show down. For some reason, this warrants a pay per view match.

Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey trips him down to start and Show is annoyed again, earning Mysterio a toss into the corner. One of the hardest chops you’ll ever see or hear has Rey’s eyes bugging out of the mask and he rolls outside. Back in and Show stands on the chest for a bit until Rey slips out of a gorilla press. Some right hands stagger Show but Rey heads outside again, this time for a chair. The referee is conveniently knocked away so Mysterio can get in a chair shot, followed by the springboard seated senton for two. A 619 to the leg sets up a 619 to the face but the West Coast Pop is countered into the chokeslam to give Show the pin.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. I have no idea why this needed to be on pay per view as they could have either done the exact same thing on Smackdown or had Mysterio face Matt Hardy for the Cruiserweight Title here. But no, the solution was to give Big Show a squash win, likely so he can have a big match next month. And of course Mysterio is the only person you can put in here against him because you can’t have show win a competitive match against a name of equal value (Benoit would have been a better choice). Putting this on pay per view in this form was ridiculous and more booking that makes my head hurt.

Mysterio does a stretcher job but Show picks him up and swings the backboard (with Rey still attached) against the post. Just in case you didn’t get the entire idea from the match you see. The bump looked great though.

HHH, Ric Flair and Chris Jericho are ready for the wholesome trio tonight.

Torrie and Stacy get in another fight until Scott Steiner saves Stacy. Test FINALLY returns to yell at Steiner for carry Stacy to the trainer.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena. Lesnar won the title at Wrestlemania and Cena has been calling him out both before and since the title win. Cena then won a tournament to earn the shot so it’s an actually well built match. Unfortunately it’s also the biggest match on the Smackdown side and feels like a slightly glorified TV main event.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Cena comes out in a Yankees jersey which must have his skin crawling. His rap talks about how he’s going to be added to the list of great champions, meaning he’s crazy like Mankind and coming at you from so many angles that you’ll call him Kurt. Cena jumps him at the bell and slugs away but you can only do that for so long against Brock. Two backbreakers into a fall away slam has Cena in trouble and Brock at the cut on his forehead from Smackdown.

A front facelock keeps Cena in trouble as Tazz goes into his rare yet useful explanation of how to get out of a hold. Brock stomps away in the corner and there’s a gorilla press for good measure. Cena wisely bails out to the floor and grabs a chair but settles for throwing Lesnar into the steps instead. The cut is busted open so Cena slugs away back inside. A running shoulder sends Lesnar to the apron and there’s the middle rope Fameasser to put him fully outside.

Back in and we hit a chinlock for a good while before a DDT gives Cena two. Lesnar grabs a spinebuster to put both guys down for a breather as Cole starts talking about momentum. Tazz thinks whoever is up first might have the advantage. Thanks for that analysis there buddy. Cena is back up with a chinlock and a bodyscissors for a rather long while.

Back up and Cena gets driven into the corner for the break and it’s comeback time. Some clotheslines and a powerslam give Lesnar two. Cena is smart enough to almost send Lesnar into the referee, allowing John to hit a low blow for two more. It’s chain time but a quick F5 retains the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty watchable match (save for that long chinlock) but there was no hiding the fact that Cena was in way over his head and had almost no chance to win the title. Lesnar did what he could and sold a lot, though there’s only so much you can do when the ending is never in doubt. Cena would have his day of course but it just wasn’t here yet.

We recap the six man tag, which was all about who is Nash’s best friend. In other words, it’s a story that all of five people are interested in and for some reason we have to do this six man tag instead of HHH vs. Booker T. II here and Nash doing his hair somewhere instead. This is little more than a pit stop before Nash gets his big singles title match that isn’t interest in and no one wants to see anyway. This gets the music video treatment because it’s the big match in the eyes of the people who matter the most around here.

Kevin Nash/Shawn Michaels/Booker T. vs. HHH/Ric Flair/Chris Jericho

Nash wants to start with HHH but thankfully we do Shawn vs. Jericho instead. Jericho punches away in the corner but Shawn speeds things up and starts a pinfall reversal sequence. A Walls attempt is broken up and it’s off to Nash to hammer on the arm. Jericho skins the cat (I still want to know how it got that name) but Nash is smart enough to be right there with a big boot.

It’s off to Booker, who scores with a kick to HHH’s jaw, only to get caught in the facebuster. The spinebuster puts Booker down and it’s off to Flair for the old school portion. Shawn comes in off a missed elbow drop and house is quickly cleaned. Sweet Chin Music connects but HHH is right there with a Pedigree for the save. HHH and Flair take turns beating on Shawn until it’s off to Jericho for a hard belly to back.

Now the villains start in on the knee but an enziguri puts Flair down. That’s enough for the hot tag to Nash and we get the showdown with HHH. I’m sure the fans are all going to start cheering as soon as the shock wears off so ignore that silence thing. Snake Eyes and the side slam are good for two on HHH with Flair making the save. The chops have no effect with Nash fixing his hair while Ric fires them off.

Everything breaks down and Booker ax kicks Jericho to set up the Spinarooni. Sweet Chin Music is broken up and Flair grabs the Figure Four as Nash loads up the announcers’ table. He comes in for the save instead (how nice of him) but shoves Flair into the referee. The sledgehammer to the head puts Nash away.

Rating: D. So yeah, instead of doing HHH vs. Booker and Shawn vs. Jericho or Flair, we’re stuck with HHH beating Nash to likely set up HHH vs. Nash for the title. As usual, 2003 makes my head hurt and somehow we’re not even close to done with this story. The match wasn’t the worst by any stretch but sweet goodness it was boring and not the way to make me want to see anything else on Raw.

We look back at Mysterio being destroyed in case you didn’t get the idea the first time.

The update on Rey: there is no update.

Long recap of Rock vs. Goldberg, which doesn’t really have much of a story. Rock is coming off beating Steve Austin at Wrestlemania and Goldberg just showed up to attack him. The match was agreed to and Goldberg has been chasing him since. It’s basically Rock being a huge star and someone getting to beat him before he heads to Hollywood permanently.

Rock says he’ll win and doesn’t care much about Goldberg. This felt like nothing but the time filler that it was. The fans chant for Rock all over again.

The Rock vs. Goldberg

The entrances take a long time and Rock hits the floor before the bell as they’re hitting the stall button hard here. They stare each other down as the match hasn’t actually started yet. We’re finally ready to go after several minutes of killing time, which isn’t what this show needed. Goldberg shoves him away off the lockup, which isn’t that surprising as Rock isn’t known as a power guy.

They do it again with Rock falling to the floor this time around. Back in and Rock slaps him in the face, only to get run over with a shoulder. Rock bails again as the announcers debate music. We hit another long stall until Rock snaps him throat first across the top. Goldberg grabs a Rock Bottom but takes way too long on the spear, allowing Rock to send him into the post. The Sharpshooter goes on for a bit before Rock goes with a low blow.

That means nothing either and it’s a spear to cut Rock down. No Jackhammer though as Goldberg gets two off a slam instead. Good grief END THIS SHOW ALREADY. Rock hits a spear of his own (called a spinebuster by Coach, which isn’t that far off actually) and the Rock Bottom gets two. Now the spinebuster actually connects and the People’s Elbow gets two more. Goldberg pops up, hits a spear, ignores the GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, adds a second spear, and finishes with the Jackhammer.

Rating: D-. This was about as dumb as they could have gone with Goldberg doing the same kind of match that every WWE main eventer has with the multiple finishers and trading moves instead of doing the formula that got him over in the first place. It was a completely terrible debut match with Rock’s selling alone completely outshining everything Goldberg did.

Compare this Goldberg match to his recent return (true story: he wrestled more in this match than in a match, a Royal Rumble appearance, a title win and a title defense) and look at which got better reactions, more entertaining matches and just more success overall. It’s not hard to figure out why one was better than the other and a lot of it has to do with booking Goldberg like Goldberg and not like any other star.

Overall Rating: F. The problem here is much more based around this show not being necessary, at least not in this form. The Smackdown stuff was completely unnecessary with most of the blue matches being TV worthy at best and horrible at worst. If you can’t even fit Chris Benoit, Matt Hardy and Undertaker on the show (yet there was time for FOUR Stacy/Test/Torrie segments), just cut the Smackdown part out and let it be a Raw pay per view. Turn the six man into HHH vs. Booker II for the title and do Shawn vs. Jericho II with Jericho getting his win back while Nash is guest enforcer or something.

Then there’s the show itself, which peaked at a just somewhat above average Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros opener. The wrestling was terrible throughout with matches either not needing to exist or being so uninteresting that there was no reason to care about them. This show felt like it was running overtime and didn’t even make it to two hours and forty five minutes. It was an awful show which could have either been a standalone Raw show or just not existed and I don’t think anyone would have really noticed. Just awful stuff all around and a really bad sign of things to come.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 24, 2003
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Backlash and we have a Smackdown main event. This time around it’s going to be rookie upstart John Cena challenging Brock Lesnar for the Smackdown World Title, meaning it’s likely time for a big face to face showdown. Other than that it’s Rikishi vs. Roddy Piper tonight for reasons I don’t even want to begin to understand. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The announcers preview the show with Cole making sure to say that “we are just 72 hours away, three days, from Backlash”. I have that 72 hours, three days thing burned into my head after hearing Cole say it all those years.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Before the match, Cena raps his history, which basically summarizes the tournament and says he’s winning on Sunday. He also promises graphic footage to prove that Lesnar shouldn’t be champion. Rhyno wins the early power battle and sends him outside, only to get dropkicked on the way back inside.

A middle rope Fameasser with Rhyno draped over the ropes has Rhyno in trouble and it’s time to start in on the neck. Back in and we hit the armbar for a good bit until Rhyno fights up with a powerslam. The still yet to be named Throwback sets up the ProtoBomb but Rhyno catches him in a spinebuster. The Gore misses though and Cena rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a power match here and I kind of like the idea of Cena making a power guy miss a catch him on a quick pin as it gives him another option to take the title from Lesnar. Unfortunately it wasn’t a great match in the first place, but at least Cena won and beat someone that the fans still care about.

Mr. America is coming.

The FBI annoys Chris Benoit for losing last week when they had a bet on him. They want their money back but Nunzio winds up with a match against Benoit instead.

Sable flaunts her body to Josh Matthews and hypes up the Sable Invitational body contest later tonight.

Some wrestlers toured a Navy ship earlier this week.

Chris Benoit vs. Nunzio

Stamboli and Palumbo get in some shots from behind while Nunzio has the referee. As usual the referee has no issue with Benoit being down despite his opponent not touching him and doesn’t even yell at the other Italians. They trade some chops with the Canadian getting the better of it (well duh) but Palumbo trips Benoit again. The Sicilian Slice (middle rope Fameasser) gives Nunzio two and a swinging neckbreaker is good for the same. An enziguri finally gets Benoit out of trouble and grabs the rolling German suplexes. Nunzio pops up but the springboard armbar is countered into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: D. I’m hoping they pull the plug on the FBI thing in the very near future as it’s just not interesting. Nunzio is the best worker of the team and even he’s only decent. On top of that, it’s such a simple and not very interesting idea. They’re just stereotypical mob thugs and that’s far from good enough to survive. At least Benoit won though.

Benoit gets beaten down post match.

Tajiri and Funaki watch Rey Mysterio 619 Big Show last week and have a hearty laugh. Cue Big Show to destroy the TV and VCR to blow off some steam.

Rey Mysterio vs. Crash

Crash is now an MF’er, meaning a follower of Matt Hardy, who only uses low fat salad dressings. Tazz dubs Crash a Moore-On as he’s working his way up to MF’er. Rey dropkicks Shannon to the floor but gets armbarred for his efforts. The sitout bulldog is countered with a belly to back suplex (Crash is the first person to come up with that counter?) but the kickouts frustrate Crash. Now the bulldog works fine and the springboard seated senton sets up a tornado DDT to give Rey two. The 619 sets up the springboard legdrop to put Crash away.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure how this is supposed to help Rey get ready for Big Show on Sunday. Crash doesn’t exactly fit the mold for a goon as he wrestled his usual not great match here without looking like anything more than a bad wrestler. This should be setting up Rey vs. Matt but it’s Rey vs. Big Show for reasons I don’t understand.

Cena gives A-Train a pep talk and shows him Lesnar giving him a very scary F5 that saw A-Train landing on his head. That was edited off the actual broadcast if you don’t remember seeing it. A-Train wants to end Lesnar.

Rikishi vs. Roddy Piper

Unfortunately Piper wrestles (work with me here) with his shirt off and the blinded referee doesn’t see Sean O’Haire hit a low blow. Some right hands knock Piper backwards and Sean takes a few of his own but O’Haire comes in to break up the Stinkface for the DQ.

O’Haire beats him down even more and adds the reverse Death Valley Driver.

The evil French guys (now officially La Resistance) are still coming.

It’s time for Sable’s body contest. Before anyone comes out, Sable says this is designed to see if anyone can be as sexy as Torrie. However, Torrie won’t be here tonight because she’s feeling a bit fat lately as she hasn’t been able to get to the gym with all the Playboy stuff. Nidia and Dawn Marie come out and are about to do their thing until Torrie comes out, as expected.

Nidia and Dawn do their thing and get their standard reactions. It’s time for Torrie, who hits on Sable, giving her kind of a standing lap dance, complete with lollipop, and….loses anyway. The beatdown is on and Torrie is left laying as this story is now more confusing than anything else. So Sable is now a lesbian cougar who didn’t interest Torrie but now Torrie is interested (or just playing the proverbial “mind games”) but Sable isn’t interested? Is that where we are?

Chavo Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Team Angle is dedicating their win on Sunday to Kurt. Shelton takes him down without too much effort but lets Chavo up pretty quickly. Chavo scores with a dropkick and a clothesline as Tazz thinks Eddie stole money from him. Why were Los Guerreros never accused of stealing the FBI’s money a few weeks back? It’s kind of their thing to do.

Chavo’s hurricanrana gets two but he walks into a belly to belly for the same. A quickly broken camel clutch doesn’t do Shelton much good as Chavo grabs a flapjack. An STF that John Cena would think looks bad has Shelton in trouble but Charlie Haas pulls him over to the rope. The referee yells at Eddie for going after Haas, allowing Charlie to turn over a rollup and give Shelton the pin.

Rating: C-. They tried to put a bit too much into this and it wasn’t as good as I was expecting. At least they actually set up something for Sunday as that hasn’t seemed to be the case for most of the night. Chavo is the weaker of the team but he’s certainly capable of having a good match. There was a bit too much interference to let that work here though and it was kind of a mess as a result.

Cena talks trash to Lesnar.

Big Show vs. Tajiri

Show catches him without much trouble and a clothesline cuts off the kicks. A charge misses and Show crotches himself, allowing Tajiri to fire off more kicks. Show’s kick drops Tajiri again but here’s Mysterio’s music for a distraction. Not that it matters as the chokeslam plants Tajiri. Cue Rey in person to post Show, drawing a countout.

Rating: D-. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Show has been humiliated twice in a row and is likely to squash Mysterio on Sunday, Rey is little more than a fly who is going to be swatted in the actual match, Tajiri gets treated like a jobber and Mysterio/Tajiri beating Team Angle to start the whole thing meant nothing at all. If someone would be interested in pointing out a positive in this whole mess, please let me know.

Stephanie McMahon is bent over a table for no apparent reason other than she probably thought she looked good that day (granted she’s not wrong). She’s an All-American girl and is happy to have Mr. America here next week.

Backlash rundown.

Brock Lesnar vs. A-Train

Non-title with Cena on commentary. Lesnar’s pyro when he jumps to the apron seems to shake Cena, which you don’t see very often. Joined in progress after a break with an exchange of power shoves. We hit a front facelock with Brock rolling A-Train around like he’s not even there. Back up and a big collision puts both of them down and it’s another staredown.

Brock finally gets a more definitive advantage by clotheslining A-Train to the floor, allowing Cena to trash talk even more. The distraction lets A-Train kick him in the face to take over, followed by the chinlock. Brock fights up but gets puts right back down with a hard shoulder. A powerslam works a bit better for Lesnar, only to have A-Train grab the Derailer for two. Cena: “WHAT’S UP WITH CHIODA DOG??? WAY OUT OF POSITION!” The F5 plants A-Train a few seconds later but Cena comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Slow, plodding power match here with an obvious and dull ending. Lesnar winning is fine and A-Train got in some big shots despite having no change to win. There’s no hiding the fact that Lesnar vs. Cena is the only Smackdown match that matters on Sunday but it’s looking like little more than a glorified squash. Bad main event to a bad show.

Cena chains Lesnar in the head and hits the Death Valley Driver (now the standard AA). A belt shot to Lesnar’s head ends the show.

Overall Rating: F+. The best thing on the show was a lackluster Chavo vs. Shelton match as it’s clear that the Smackdown side of Backlash means absolutely nothing. Brock vs. Cena is the distant third biggest match on the pay per view card and everything else is complete filler. This show did nothing to shake that idea as the whole thing was Lesnar vs. Cena and everything else, none of which was interesting in the slightest. It was a terrible show and another part of a horrid stretch for the brand.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

There’s something fun about going into a show where you don’t know what’s going to close the show. That’s the case we’ve got in front of us this coming Sunday at “No Mercy 2017”. This time around it’s a double main event of John Cena vs. Roman Reigns and Universal Champion Brock Lesnar defending against one heck of a monster (among men to be exact) Braun Strowman. Hopefully the rest of the card backs it up. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Elias vs. Apollo Crews

This was announced on Friday and that’s about as much attention as it needs. It’s a thrown together match between two guys who have nothing better to do and there’s nothing wrong with that. Elias is a mile ahead of Crews at this point and actually has a character to him. Crews is far from a lost cause but he needs something to give him some momentum.

That being said, I don’t think it’s going to be this match as Elias should get the win. It’s clear that Elias is a bigger deal and someone the company is interested in protecting so there’s no reason to have him lose here. Crews has gotten over losses before and the fans are going to be behind him due to Elias’ song anyway. Just let them have about ten minutes and everything will be fine but Elias wins, as he should.

Tag Team Titles: Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins(c) vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

I’m just putting this one on here now to get it out of the way. I’ve been so bored with the tag team division on Mondays for months now and Rollins and Ambrose as the champs hasn’t really done anything for it. At the end of the day, they just need fresh opponents and Sheamus/Cesaro aren’t the kinds of guys who are going to be able to stir up any interest in a title match.

Therefore, as you can probably tell, I’ll go with the champions to retain the titles, as they certainly should. While they haven’t been able to jump start the whole division, there’s only so much of that which can be put on them. They should win though as we set up another good team to challenge them, which should make them some of the longest reigning champions in years without much effort.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz(c) vs. Jason Jordan

I’m actually not sure on this one as all of the signs seem to be pointing towards Jordan taking the title in a walk, especially given the Kurt Angle situation. However, I’m thinking it’s a bit too easy. They’re setting it up on a silver platter and that makes me think that they’re not quite ready to pull the trigger on Jordan just yet, at least not in this form.

However, I do think they’ll give him the title. The Angle story isn’t working and the best choice they might have at this point might be to have him win the title and say he made the whole thing up in order to get a title shot on his own or something like that. Jordan has hit the ground running with the singles push with matches against Cena and Reigns and he’s done most of it without Angle helping him out. Jordan wins here, only to have Miz get the title back again soon enough to continue his march towards both Intercontinental Title records.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville(c) vs. Enzo Amore

Let’s get this one over with. On paper, Amore winning the title and holding it away from every more talented wrestler in the division (basically a face version of the Honky Tonk Man) sounds great but dear goodness I’ve been going nuts watching Amore on “205 Live”. He’s not funny anymore and he’s definitely not someone I want to see any more. Neville has turned into a star and should be ready for the main roster as a midcard champion contender, which means not losing to that rat faces weasel Amore.

But, of course, I’m pretty sure Amore wins the title here. If he doesn’t, they might as well just cut him off the roster now and be done with it. The only thing for him to do is win the title and be done with it, hopefully dropping it right back to someone a lot more talented in the near future. Amore does nothing for me without Big Cass and it seems that I’m not the only one who thinks this way. But yeah, he wins the title here, blast it all.

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

So this is a thing too and it’s starting to make me think of Dolph Ziggler’s “can’t win the big one” storyline. The idea here is that Wyatt can’t defeat the Demon so he wants to face Balor on his own instead. It’s like when Ziggler couldn’t win the World Title so he settled for the Intercontinental Title and called it the big one instead. No one looks good coming out of this story but WWE likes it all the same.

I’ll take Balor to win here, just in case he hasn’t been crushed enough yet. Balor should be ready to move up to the World Title scene in the near future and Wyatt should….I’m not even sure at this point anymore. When you have him lose match after match over and over anymore, the best thing you can do is just wait until something better comes along ala Cesaro and the tag division, since it’s pretty clear he’s never getting a long term push as a title contender. Balor wins here, which shouldn’t surprise anymore.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss(c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Emma vs. Nia Jax

Well to be fair it’s been at least a whole five days since WWE last presented a “let’s throw a bunch of women together into the same match so we don’t have to actually put any effort into it” match. Emma is pretty clearly here just for the sake of having her take the fall, but the question is who gets to beat her and leave with the title.

I’m going to go with Bliss retaining the title here as we continue to wait on the long rumored Banks heel turn. Maybe they sow some more seeds here for the turn, but they need to actually do something about it already. There’s a chance that the Bayley injury slowed things down, but I’m thinking Bliss retains here, only to lose it in a singles match later, hopefully to Jax this time around.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar(c) vs. Braun Strowman

This one is ALL about the long term planning as the question is likely how do we get Reigns into the title picture all over again. My guess is very simple and it starts here with whoever walks out of the show with the title. They could just have Lesnar dominate the title until April and give him the year long title reign or they could go a different path and try something more interesting.

I actually think they’re going to switch the title here and put it on Strowman. That lets Reigns take it away at perhaps “Royal Rumble 2017” with Reigns holding the title until New Orleans where he successfully defends it against Lesnar, sending him back to the UFC. But yeah, I think Strowman wins here and that’s the best for the long term planning. If Lesnar is only going to be around every now and then, there’s no reason to have him go over Reigns and Strowman at back to back pay per views.

Roman Reigns vs. John Cena

I have no idea how this couldn’t be the main event and I have no idea why it wasn’t the main event of a much bigger show (well ok I do as they needed a big match to hang onto all the people who got the free WWE Network month in August with a pair of huge matches). They’ve got a good story here and Cena being away this week helped Reigns a ton. Reigns now has something to fight for (proving himself as the big dog) and that’s been lacking for a very long time.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that WWE hasn’t lost its freaking mind and have Reigns take the loss here. Cena does not need this win and could give Reigns a big rub (you know, because he’s only had a dozen or so of them) on his way off to do whatever he has for his next project. Reigns winning makes sense after his complete destruction in the promos and I hope WWE sees that. There’s a way to have Reigns bounce back from the loss but I don’t think they need to go that route.

Overall Thoughts

For the first time in a long time, I’m a lot more interested in a low level show. It’s almost like there’s something to this idea of building up a few matches and making them feel important. Why WWE refuses to do this a lot more often is beyond me, but I’d bet on it being because they’re not the best creative department in the world.

I’m rather interested in the train crash (not wreck) that is Strowman vs. Lesnar and Reigns vs. Cena does indeed feel like it’s one of the biggest matches the company could put together for a long time. The rest of the show might not be the best in the world but they’re more than capable of putting on a very good show, especially if the wrestling exceeds the not quite exceptional hype.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 17, 2003
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s tournament night as we have the finals to crown a new #1 contender. John Cena will be facing Chris Benoit, which is pretty much the best final they could have gone for. Cena should be the favorite after having spent weeks taunting Lesnar but Benoit is one of those cases where it’s easy to see him pulling it off. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the tournament, which hasn’t been too bad so far. I’m not sure if it’s worthy of the music video treatment though.

Opening sequence.

Big Show/A-Train vs. Rey Mysterio/Tajiri

Assuming this is going to see the small guys crushed up and sprinkled on the monsters’ pizza, beating the champions last week would be rather pointless. Mysterio slugs away at A-Train to start and gets thrown into the corner for his efforts. A basement dropkick gives Rey a breather though and it’s off to Tajiri for a kick of his own. A-Train shoves them down but it’s a double dropkick to stagger him again. Big Show breaks up the 619 though and the order of the universe is restored.

Show launches Rey into the corner and it’s time for the slow motion beatdown. A pair of backbreakers has Rey in more trouble and A-Train follows up with the modified Gory Stretch. Rey gets in a tornado DDT for the breather though, setting up the hot tag to Tajiri. The handspring elbow barely connects but a springboard kick to the face gets two. Show casually throws Rey outside though, leaving A-Train to kick Tajiri in the head for the pin.

Rating: C. Questionable booking aside, this wasn’t a bad match with the smaller guys getting in some nice shots before going down. Big Show and A-Train are fine for a pair of heavies but they need something to do. Rey and Tajiri could be a perfectly fine tag team, though this isn’t the best way to help set them up.

Post match A-Train takes the mist and Rey 619s Big Show around the post. That’s REALLY not cool with Big Show. After the break, Show rants about being embarrassed so he wants to face Rey at Backlash.

Here’s Brock Lesnar for his first talk as champion. Interviewer Michael Cole goes over the shooting star and Lesnar says he was lucky to survive that. It took him five months to win the title back and he knew he had to do whatever it took. Kurt Angle is the first person to kick out of the F5 so Brock had to do something special. He had a concussion but there’s no doubt that he would do it all again. Brock talks about his respect for Angle but here’s Cena to cut him off. Where is the respect for Cena? Brock is just a white boy up in here lying to the fans.

Cena gets all fired up talking about how he’s bigger than Lesnar and the title, only to be cut off by Chris Benoit. Chris talks about how Cena has to show some respect because no one is bigger than the title. Brock calls Benoit out for not respecting him and they go nose to nose, only to have Cena demand respect from them both. Eventually Brock says they should all respect the winner of the tournament but Cena gets in a cheap shot on Benoit.

Mr. America is coming. Oh boy here we go.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble

Hang on as here’s Team Angle to mock Los Guerreros, who are now #1 contenders. So yeah, the Rey/Tajiri match means nothing at all. Charlie says Grandma Guerrero is the best housekeeper that money can buy, which is enough of a distraction for Noble to get in some cheap shots to start. A swinging neckbreaker gives Jamie two but an uppercut sets up Three Amigos. Eddie’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and it’s Chavo taking care of Nidia so Eddie can frog splash Jamie for the pin.

Eddie and Chavo make gay jokes about Team Angle and win a quick brawl.

The French guys are coming. Tazz makes a joke about all the ethnic acts at the moment and he’s got a point.

Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio is official for Backlash.

We recap the FBI vs. Undertaker/Nathan Jones. They really think there’s something to the FBI? Really? Johnny gorilla pressing Rikishi should have gotten him something but that hasn’t been mentioned since.

Undertaker is going to be out a few weeks due to elbow surgery.

Earlier today, Jones nearly murdered Nunzio but settled for beating up the rest of the team instead.

Torrie is stretching when Sable comes in. She liked seeing Torrie get out of the shower last week but this time she needs help undoing her zipper. Sable unzips herself and takes her top down because she has nowhere to change. Torrie leaves though and Sable has to cover herself with her hands. Well at least they’re not hiding what they’re going for here, but we’ve covered this with Dawn Marie and it’s already been made clear that we’ve seen all we’re going to see. It doesn’t have the same effect twice in a four month stretch.

Long recap of the Hogan/Vince/Piper ordeal.

Rikishi vs. Sean O’Haire is confirmed for Backlash.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit and that could mean anything. Piper gives a rambling rant against fans on the internet, saying fans are coming out of the closet to beat people up but he likes it. We see the Snuka coconut thing from twenty years ago, followed by the same thing happening to Rikishi last week. Anyway, Piper has been looking for the modern wrestler with intelligence so here’s the champion of champions: Sean O’Haire.

Sean comes out and praises Piper, who might be even more evil than O’Haire is. Before Piper can say anything though, here’s Jimmy Snuka to send Piper through the roof. Piper sucks up to him but Jimmy says we have a problem here. Sean is ready to fight but Piper says he doesn’t need food or water because he’s self-contained.

Piper wants to bury the coconut, only to have Snuka hit him in the head. O’Haire gets involved as well but it’s Rikishi out for the save. A chair to the back drops Rikishi though and the bad guys bail. That’s enough for Rikishi to challenge Piper for next week while Snuka’s eyes are bulging as only his can. I like the idea of pushing O’Haire but this is getting very high on the list of most overbooked angles that are likely to collapse underneath their own weight.

Torrie did a Playboy signing in New York earlier this week. They’re pushing the heck out of that thing as only WWE can do.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Torrie’s gear has the Playboy logo prominently displayed. Hang on a minute though as here’s Sable to referee. Torrie and Sable stare at each other so Nidia can jump Torrie from behind. That goes nowhere so Nidia throws her into the corner, only to get caught in the headscissors solely designed for a certain angle of Torrie’s shorts. A high crossbody and basement dropkick give Torrie two but hang on as Sable has to dropkick Noble to the floor. Nidia gets caught in a tornado DDT for the fast pin.

Sable gives Torrie one of those looks.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Brian Kendrick

Matt, who really digs his book and whose favorite sushi is freshwater eel, is defending. Brian goes with a fast backslide to start and takes out Shannon Moore with a suicide dive for good measure. Back in and Matt throws him off the top though and Brian is in early trouble. Kendrick gets caught in a full nelson but he climbs the ropes and spins around to drive Matt’s head into the mat for a really cool counter. An enziguri gets two, followed by a to rope elbow for the same. Sliced Bread #2 is countered though and the Twist of Fate retains Matt’s title.

Rating: C+. Kendrick has been showing up almost everyone on this show week to week and this was no exception. It wasn’t a great match but for something that barely broke three minutes and saw Kendrick hitting some good looking stuff and barely stopping, it was quite the entertaining match. Now can we put him over someone other that Moore for a change?

The FBI is ready for revenge on Nathan Jones.

The APA went to Washington DC to visit soldiers.

Nathan Jones vs. Nunzio

Jones kicks him down and chokes a bit until the FBI comes in after less than a minute.

The Italians beat him down and crush the ankle with the steps to send Jones down to Louisville.

Mr. America is still coming. Nothing has changed in the last hour and a half.

#1 Contenders Tournament Finals: John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena says Benoit can rent the space beneath his teeth and calls him a Dynamite ripoff. Benoit takes him down to start and works on the arm for a bit. Cena is smart enough to shove the referee and nail a low blow. We hit the early chinlock for a bit before Cena reverses the first German suplex into a victory roll for a near fall. The threat of a Crossface sends Cena bailing to the floor so Benoit dives through the ropes to take him down again.

We take a break and come back with Benoit working on the arm again. Cena grabs the yet to be named Throwback for a quick two before we hit the neck crank (with their backs to the camera because they don’t know how to work). Benoit gets thrown hard into the corner but manages to suplex his way out of a chinlock.

Back up and Benoit elbows him in the face, only to get caught in something like a reverse Blue Thunder Bomb (Benoit landed at the side instead of between the legs for two. That just earns Cena the Crossface, though he’s too close to the ropes. Benoit slips out of the Death Valley Driver and tries a sunset flip but Cena drops down into a cradle for the clean pin.

Rating: B-. You have to give Cena the clean win here to make him look like a bigger threat against Lesnar, especially after the mess of the match against Undertaker last week. Benoit controlled it for the most part but Cena got in enough offense that it didn’t look like a fluke. That’s the value of someone like Benoit, who can make Cena look good but doesn’t really lose much in defeat. Good match too.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event is easily the best thing about the show but the big stories are major issues at this point. Cena vs. Lesnar is third on the show with the way overdone Piper’s Pit stuff (assuming you don’t count that as a separate story from Hogan vs. Vince) and Sable/Torrie above it. I can understand the World Title not being the biggest story on the show but sweet goodness it would be nice if one of the bigger stories was even slightly interesting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6