Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.

No intro video this year. That’s interesting.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.

We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.

JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.

Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.

Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.

Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.

That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.

Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.

Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.

Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.

Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.

The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.

Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.

Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.

We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.

Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.

Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.

Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.

Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. That’s his last WWE appearance to date. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.

The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.

So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.

Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re in New York City again and there are three main events tonight. We have the usual Rumble and Edge defending the Smackdown Title against Mysterio, but the interesting one here was Orton defending against Jeff Hardy. I don’t know how they did it, but the company did an OUTSTANDING job of making Hardy seem like he had a very real chance of taking the title tonight and shocking the world. I had no idea who was going to win and I LOVED that feeling. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses more on the show being in MSG than anything else.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Flair’s career is on the line but MVP’s US Title isn’t. Flair talks about having his first match here in 1976 but MVP’s music cuts him off. MVP takes him into the corner to start and he’s BALLIN already. Flair goes after the arm for a second before chopping away at the jumpsuit. MVP comes back with a running boot to the head for two before hooking a chinlock. The fans tell MVP that he sucks as he cranks on the chin.

Flair fights up and picks the leg, only to get small packaged for two. A backdrop puts Flair down and there’s a running boot to the face in the corner for three, but Flair has his foot on the rope. You know MSG isn’t buying that one. Flair tries to steal the pin but gets clotheslined down for his efforts instead. A superplex gets two for MVP and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Flair starts trying for some fast pins before slugging away. MVP punches him down and hits a facebuster, but the Playmaker is countered into a quick Figure Four to end this.

Rating: C. This was about what you would expect. At the end of the day, everyone knew Flair wasn’t going to lose this but it was a way to give him one last moment in MSG before retiring in April. I’m not wild on him beating the US Champion clean but the title hasn’t meant anything in years anyway so what difference does it make?

Vince talks to Horny about the Rumble. This is during the “Vince is Hornswoggle’s dad” phase. Vince tells him to not trust Finlay but he has to win. Finlay comes in and takes some offense to Vince telling them not to trust each other.

Mike Adamle is introduced as the newest broadcaster. Oh dear. For those of you that don’t remember him, imagine Cole but with something resembling charm.

We recap Jericho vs. JBL. JBL cost Jericho the title at Armageddon and tonight is the blowoff. JBL brought Jericho’s children into this too, saying Jericho would have to admit to them that he’s a coward. Jericho would use this same line against Shawn soon after this.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Feeling out process to start with JBL hiding in the corner and ropes a few times. Jericho forearms him down and pounds away but gets sent to the floor. That doesn’t last long as he slides right back in and hooks the Walls but JBL immediately grabs the rope. A baseball slide keeps Jibbles on the floor where he is sent into the steps. Back in and Jericho charges into a hot shot to put both guys down.

A clothesline (not the one from down under) puts Jericho down as apparently he has a bad throat and neck coming into this. Bradshaw slingshots Jericho throat first into the middle rope and hooks a quick sleeper. Jericho fights out of it and hits a clothesline of his own, only to charge into a big boot. John sends him shoulder first into the post which busts his head open somehow. Back in and JBL pounds away at the cut as a villain would do. Jericho comes back but they botch a clothesline, causing both guys to get booed loudly. A Cactus Clothesline sends them to the floor where Jericho cracks JBL with a chair for the LAME DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for the most part. Jericho didn’t work at all as a face with the short hair during this comeback and I think everyone knew it. Thankfully he would turn heel over the summer and have the feud of the year with Shawn. The ending to this sucked and I don’t think they had any other matches after this.

Jericho destroys JBL post match and chokes him with a cord, which is what JBL did to him. That gets Jericho cheered at least.

Santino tells Ashley that Maria won’t do Playboy. Thank goodness he was wrong.

We recap Edge vs. Mysterio. Edge is with Vickie now who just happens to be the corrupt GM. Mysterio won a Beat the Clock challenge by beating Edge himself to earn the shot. Edge is annoyed that Rey is claiming that Edge is just using Vickie, which of course he is.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge is defending if that’s not clear. Vickie, Hawkins and Ryder are at ringside as well. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans LOUDLY boo Rey and cheer for Edge as Rey kind of messes up a rana. Edge runs him over but Rey speeds things up, causing Edge to panic a bit. Rey gets sent to the floor where Hawkins and Ryder go after him, only to stop when they’re nearly caught. The referee ejects them anyway.

Back in and Rey almost hooks the 619, only to have the champion bail to the floor. Rey is perfectly cool with diving to the floor to take out Edge, drawing boos in a bizarre sequence. Back in and a seated senton gets two for Rey but Edge takes his knee out to take over. Edge pounds away and hooks a half crab for a little while. Rey comes back with kicks to the face to escape and you would think he was choking a kitten from the crowd’s reaction.

Rey loads up the 619 but charges into a powerslam for two. Off to a kind of ankle lock hold but bending the knee instead of the ankle. Edge tries to take the knee brace off of Rey but gets caught in the sitout bulldog to put both guys down. Mysterio uses his good leg to kick Edge in the face for two before hitting another kind of seated senton for two. Like an idiot, Rey goes up and hits a double stomp for two. Smart move on a bad knee Rey. Edge is sent to the floor where Rey slide through the ropes into a tornado DDT for two back inside.

Back in and Edge kicks Rey right in the face to put him down again. Why over complicate things? The spear misses so Rey hits the 619 and the top rope splash, but Vickie pops out of her wheelchair to break up the count. Edge misses another spear and puts himself in 619 position, but Vickie jumps onto the apron to take the hit, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the retaining pin.

Rating: C+. This was ok but you kind of expect more from Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. The ending was about Vickie, which would become a running theme over the next few months. Edge being all conniving and backstabbing the already evil Vickie was awesome stuff, but getting there was tedious at times. Still not a bad match at all though.

Mr. Kennedy is waiting for Flair when he gets out of the shower in a towel. Shawn comes in before anything happens and shakes hands with Flair. Shawn: “Imagine, a loud mouthed platinum blonde with a catchphrase. That gimmick will never work.” Batista comes in (pop), as does HHH (lesser pop). HHH: “I’ve said this a lot of times before Ric, but put your pants on.” It turns into a merchandise plug in a cute bit.

Maria comes out to do the Royal Rumble Kiss Cam. This eats up some time until Ashley comes out to ask Maria to be in Playboy again. Santino comes out to insult the fans (and the Giants), saying the people would cheer if you asked if they wanted hepatitis. He brings out Big Dick Johnson with a rubber chicken and wearing a half Patriots jersey. You can figure this one out for yourself.

WrestleMania ad featuring Mae Young as a lifeguard. Ok then.

Mike Adamle introduces us to the next match, featuring Randy Orton vs. Jeff Harvey.

We recap Hardy vs. Orton, which is based on three simple words: Hardy could win. Apparently this match drew HUGE numbers for the Rumble, which showed why they held out on Hardy winning the belt for nearly a year. Hardy hit a HUGE Swanton off the set on Raw, which made you wonder how far he would go to win here. The video is a mini-history of Orton’s career to this point, which isn’t really a good idea for a heel. This is followed by a music video about Jeff Hardy set to the song Rooftops by the Lost Prophets, which really fits him well. I remember being very excited for the match and this video was a big reason.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. Feeling out process to start with Jeff taking over via a headlock on the mat. An atomic drop gets two but Orton hits him in the face and brags to the crowd about it. Orton gets sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Hardy follows with a plancha to the floor as JR SCREAMS to get Orton back in the ring. Randy tries to walk out with the belt but Hardy will have none of that. Orton is rammed into the announce table and back inside we go.

As Hardy tries a springboard, Orton dropkicks him right back to the floor in a big crash. There’s the Orton Stomp and some choking as Orton shows off his wide range of offense. This is before Orton was orange so the visuals aren’t all that bad. A pair of knee drops get two on Hardy as Orton asks the fans if they believe in Jeff still. Hardy sends Orton over the top to the floor, followed by a bad clothesline off the apron (it hit Orton’s arm and completely missed his neck and chest).

Back in again and Jeff misses a charge into the post, giving Orton both a two count and control again. Randy hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors followed by a powerslam for two. Back to the chinlock (yep it’s an Orton match) to fill in some time. Jeff fights up again and takes Randy down with a clothesline but can’t follow up. Jeff starts striking with everything he’s got and hits the Whisper in the Wind to fire up the crowd even more.

That’s one thing I haven’t talked about enough here: the fans are WAY behind Hardy here. It isn’t the usual New York reaction to a face. They want Jeff to win the title NOW. Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner but before he can hit the Swanton, Randy bails to the floor. Jeff is cool with that and hits (kind of at least) a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Jeff loads up the Twist but Orton counters into the RKO out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. That’s a really bad finish for a few reasons. First of all, it’s WAY too sudden. If they were shooting at punching the audience in the stomach I guess they accomplished that, but it doesn’t do much else. Hardy winning was an option, but at the end of the day they made the right move here….I think. I was disappointed Hardy won, but thankfully WWE stretched it out for a LONG time before he got the title, which was the right move at the end of the day.

Hardy gets a well deserved standing ovation. His time would come.

We get the Rumble by the Numbers video, which is always a favorite of mine. Here are those numbers:

20 years of history

21 winners

569 superstars in the Rumble

36 eliminations (by Austin, since broken by Shawn)

11 Rumbles for Shawn (since broken by Kane)

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

3 identities under which Foley entered the Rumble in 1997

2 feet that must touch the ground

1 woman in the Rumble (Chyna, since joined by Beth Phoenix and Kharma)

62:12 of time that Mysterio was in the Rumble

2 seconds that Warlord lasted in the Rumble (since broken by Santino)

3 wins for Austin, still a record

1 is the spot that has the same amount of wins as #30 (Shawn and Undertaker)

4 men that have won the Rumble from the 27 spot, the most ever

73 percent of the Rumble winners have won the title at Wrestlemania

I love that.

Royal Rumble

As introduced by Michael Buffer (only the Fink gets all caps in the Garden), #1 is Undertaker, #2 is Shawn Michaels,. Now how’s THAT for an opening pair? Isn’t it amazing how a RANDOM pairing finishes the match the previous year and opens it this year? 90 second intervals here which seems to be the right amount of time most of the years. Taker powers Shawn around to start and elbows him in the corner.

Shawn gets crotched on the ropes but Taker GOES AIRBORNE with a running boot that misses in the corner. Shawn charges into the grip of Taker as he gets back in but there’s no chokeslam. Taker kicks him in the face instead as Santino is #3. Twenty five seconds later Shawn superkicks him and Taker gets the elimination. Shawn tries to dump him but Taker hangs on and works on the arm.

Old School is countered and Shawn hits an atomic drop as Great Khali is #4. Taker jumps him as he comes in as Shawn is down from something we missed. The big chop puts Taker down as the fans tell Khali he can’t wrestle. They grab each other by the throat but Khali misses a chop and gets eliminated. Shawn never touched Khali but charges at Taker when it’s just the two of them.

Hardcore Holly is #5 and is a tag champion here. Taker slugs Holly down but Shawn tries to dump the big man again. John Morrison, also a tag champion but with Miz instead of Cody Rhodes like Holly, is #6. Morrison looks at Taker and immediately goes after Holly instead. Shawn dumps him to the apron but John gets back in. That winds up being bad for him as he get slammed down by Shawn followed by the top rope elbow.

Shawn tunes up the band but Morrison blocks the kick. Tommy Dreamer is #7 to a big pop and a LOUD Tommy Dreamer chant. #8 is Batista as we get another good blast of energy. Big Dave and Taker knock everyone down (no eliminations) and they stare each other down, only for Dreamer to charge at Batista, earning himself an elimination. Shawn goes after Batista now but Dave spears Morrison down instead.

Hornswoggle is #9 and immediately dives under the ring without ever getting in. Batista and Taker hammer on each other in the corner as Holly clotheslines Shawn to the apron. Chuck Palumbo, a lame biker at this point, is #10. Taker flips Morrison to the apron but he hangs on again. Shawn and Morrison fight on the top rope as Jamie Noble, Palumbo’s enemy at this point, is #11. Noble has taped up ribs so his offense can’t last long. Palumbo dumps him after less than a minute.

At the moment we have Taker, Shawn, Holly, Batista, Palumbo and Morrison in the ring with Horny underneath. #12 is CM Punk as Morrison makes ANOTHER impressive save. Punk is insanely popular in New York of course and fires off running knees in the corner to everyone he sees, only to charge into a clothesline from Undertaker. Morrison, the guy that took the ECW Title from Punk, pounds away on him. Punk takes Palumbo out but gets jumped from behind by Shawn.

Cody Rhodes is #13 before he means anything at all. Yes he’s a tag champion, and yes I stand by what I just said. Cody goes after Punk before shifting over to Taker like an idiot. Umaga is #14 to a decent pop. He spikes Holly out and gets to try on Batista for a bit now. Shawn gets backdropped to the apron but hangs on of course. Snitsky is #15 and badly pounds on everyone at once.

Rhodes jumps on Snitsky’s back and they both head to the apron but no further than that. Taker gets headbutted by Umaga as the ring is starting to get too full. Miz is #16 with those stupid shorts of his. He goes after Punk as Taker tries to put Umaga out. Shelton with his even stupider gold hair of his knocks both Miz and Morrison off the top and onto the ropes but not out, before walking into a superkick from Shawn for the elimination in less than 20 seconds.

Jimmy Snuka of all people is #18 to a HUGE pop. He goes after Morrison as the fans do Snuka’s barking kind of chant. Taker gets a headbutt which staggers the dead man before Snuka goes after Miz. At #19 here’s Roddy Piper to an even BIGGER pop. He takes his shirt off and causes about half the audience to faint before having a showdown with Snuka, which the rest of the match (remember this includes Umaga, Taker and Shawn) stops to watch. Piper pokes Jimmy in the eyes and the match finally picks up a bit.

Kane is in at #20 to hopefully clean out the ring a bit. Yep he knocks out Piper and Snuka before chokeslamming Miz. Taker loads up a chokeslam on Kane but before he grabs the throat, he spins around and grabs Michaels instead. Carlito is in at #21 and spits the apple at Rhodes. Punk and Morrison pick up Carlito but he kicks off the ropes and sends them both into them. Punk kicks Morrison in the head but gets caught by a Backstabber. Cool little sequence there.

Mick Foley is #22 and you know the fans freak out for him. A double arm DDT takes Kane down as Umaga hits a Samoan Drop on Taker. The ring is WAY too full now with Taker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Kane, Carlito, Foley and Horny under the ring. Morrison hits a springboard kick to take Foley down and Kennedy is #23. I’ll say this: the ring has some star power in it.

There’s a Mic Check to Miz and a kick to Taker after he sits up from something. A chokeslam puts Kennedy down and Taker starts beating up everyone. Here’s Big Daddy V at #24. Taker shoves Snitsky out, Shawn superkicks Taker out and Kennedy throws Shawn out. The only question I have from that: why is Taker on his feet after being superkicked? Taker drops a leg on the announce table on Snitsky because he’s a big jerk at times.

Kennedy and Rhodes fight to the apron as Henry is #25. Horny comes out from under the ring and pulls Miz out from the ring for an elimination. Horny goes back under the ring as V is trying to put out Morrison and Kennedy. Chavo is #26 and freshly ECW Champion, thereby making it clear that the ECW Title isn’t a world title. Kane sends Morrison to the apron and then to the floor with a big boot.

Horny comes in again as V and Henry double team him. Finlay runs out ahead of the gun (presumably at #27) and blasts both guys with the club. He and Horny leave through the ropes and don’t return, with the official statement being that Horny was eliminated for leaving and Finlay was disqualified. In the Rumble. Yeah this story was just badly done overall. Elijah Burke (D’Angelo Dinero) is #28.

Chavo dumps Punk after taking his title on Tuesday. That’s just overkill man. Umaga spikes Batista under the ropes and out to the floor. HHH is #29 which leaves a hole at #30. Basically every major star has entered and the announcers aren’t sure who is possibly left. Rhodes, V, Foley and Burke all go out at HHH’s hands before he pounds on Umaga. The countdown begins for #30.

The roof is blown off the Garden, because JOHN CENA is #30. This is shocking as Cena had torn his pec and had announced that he would be gone until Wrestlemania at the earliest. Imagine that: lying about an injury and getting a big response from the crowd. Who would have ever thought of that, and in wrestling of all things? Carlito, Chavo and Henry are all gone in about fifteen seconds before it’s HHH staring Cena down.

We’ve got Cena, HHH, Batista, Kane, Umaga and Kennedy to go. HHH takes Cena down with a spinebuster but walks into a superkick from Umaga. Batista takes Umaga down with the spinebuster and dumps Kennedy to get us down to five. There goes Umaga and we’re down to four. HHH and Batista dump Kane and we’ve got three left. Batista gives the double thumbs down, Cena says you can’t see me and HHH says suck it. Them are fighting catchphrases and it’s on.

Trips and Cena go after Big Dave but he clotheslines them both down. The spinebuster plants Cena and another one takes HHH down. The fans don’t seem thrilled with Batista so they cheer when Cena backdrops him down. HHH clotheslines Batista out and we’re down to HHH vs. Cena.

Since this is New York, the fans hate Cena by default and it’s boo/yay time. Triple H pounds away but walks into the Protobomb and the Shuffle. The finishers are both countered and they clothesline each other down. Cena can’t FU HHH out and gets caught in a DDT. The finishers are countered again until Cena hits the FU on HHH for the elimination and the win.

Rating: C+. It took awhile to get through the bad parts but once Cena’s music hit the place was electric. The fans booing Cena doesn’t surprise me at all because that’s how New York works. Cena would wind up facing Orton at No Way Out for some reason, resulting in a three way at Mania with HHH involved as well.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it definitely wasn’t terrible but at the end of the day, nothing is really all that good here at all. The best match is probably Hardy vs. Orton and that’s just ok. On the other hand though, nothing is really bad here and you likely won’t be bored with the show. It’s one of those shows where you watch it and other than Cena’s return, you probably won’t remember watching it two days later.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: C+

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Wow the Smackdown title match really changed things around here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/27/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-screw-wwes-list-this-is-the-1-rumble-moment/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antoino, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re back in Texas here and the main question is which Texas guy is winning the Rumble. The main change from last year is that ECW is around now and get to have seven guys in the Rumble because their roster isn’t deep enough to support ten. Other than that we’ve got Cena vs. Umaga in a last man standing match and Batista vs. Kennedy because Kennedy gets a lot of title shots. Let’s get to it.

This is the 20^th Rumble so you know the theme of the opening video already. The other matches get a little hype as well but the Rumble dominates, as it should.

MNM vs. Hardys

Mercury had his face shattered at Armageddon in a ladder match and tonight is about revenge. Jeff is IC Champion here and Matt was given a Snapshot (MNM’s elevated DDT finisher) on the exposed concrete recently. Matt and Nitro start things off but it’s quickly off to Mercury. He goes for Matt’s dislocated jaw but lets Nitro back in for some shots to the ribs. Matt comes back with punches of his own to slow Mercury down in the corner.

Jeff comes in and speeds things up before hitting an atomic drop and legdrop to split the legs of Nitro. Back to Matt who is rubbing his face a lot. A neckbreaker gets two on Nitro but he comes back with a shot to Matt’s jaw to take him right back down. Mercury comes in and slugs away as Matt is playing Ricky Morton for a bit. Back to Nitro for some choking on the ropes and it’s already back to Joey.

Melina does that ear piercing scream of hers and Mercury goes after Matt’s jaw again. Off to a chinlock followed by a hair pull to send Matt to the mat again. Mercury goes to the middle rope but misses an elbow, allowing for the tags to Jeff and Nitro. The sitout gordbuster gets two as everything breaks down. A double suplex puts Nitro down and the Hardys go up for a legdrop from Matt and a splash from Jeff, but the latter hits knees on the way down.

Mercury comes in off the tag and gets two off a knee to the ribs. Nitro does exactly the same before sticking on the ribs for a bit more. Jeff grabs a quick rollup on the incoming Mercury but Joey goes right back to the ribs. Nitro comes in and does the same as MNM continues to keep tagging in and out very quickly. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors but Jeff fights out pretty quickly. He still can’t make the tag but finally backdrops Nitro down and makes the tag….which isn’t seen. I love that spot.

Jeff hits a mule kick to take Mercury down and FINALLY makes the hot tag to Matt. Things speed up a lot and Matt fires off elbows to everyone named M or N. A combination bulldog and clothesline takes MNM down for two followed by the yodeling elbow to the back of Nitro’s head. There’s Poetry in Motion to Mercury but one to Nitro misses, as Johnny grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two on Matt. The Side Effect puts Nitro down but Mercury spears Matt to the floor. As he went through the ropes though, Jeff made a blind tag and hits the Swanton on Nitro for the pin.

Rating: B. This took a long time to get going but it was building up to a nice finish. This was old school tag team stuff and that’s hard to screw up. MNM was getting a good rub off the Hardys who were as much of a nostalgia act as you could have at this point. Good stuff here and a hot opener, at least after the tag to Matt.

Coach and Teddy talk trash about brand dominance. Edge comes in to draw and runs into Kelly Kelly, who is an exhibitionist. Edge’s condescending talking to Kelly is hilarious stuff. Orton comes in to draw and threatens to throw his tag title partner out if need be. Edge: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Booker walks in and comedy ensues.

Wrestlemania promo. I liked that All Grown Up campaign.

ECW Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Lashley won the title in December and Test is the warm body that he gets to crush in his first major defense. There’s a video package for this which is basically both guys beating up RVD to show how awesome they are. Test powers Lashley back into the corner so the champion comes out with a spear to take over again. Now Test tries to choke, so Lashley suplexes him down. Nice to see them sticking with the same formula. A delayed vertical suplex puts Test on the floor and the champion follows him.

Test sends Lashley into the barricade to take over and we head back in for a chinlock. He shifts into an armbar and hits a Stunner onto the arm for two. Lashley fights out of trouble and backdrops Test before hitting a three point stands shoulder in the corner. He tries a slam but the arm gives out, allowing Test to fire his one big weapon, the big boot, but it only gets two. Lashley pops up with a clothesline to send Test to the floor….and he walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. They needed to protect TEST? Seriously? Lashley doesn’t get to pin TEST clean? The match was dull stuff in the first place before a stupid ending like that. Lashley did what he could out there but Test was as much of a worthless musclehead as you could possibly ask for at this point.

Lashley pulls Test back in and beats him up, which makes you wonder WHY DID THEY NOT DO THIS BEFORE???

Cena gets his broken ribs looked at when Vince comes in to see if Cena wants to forfeit. Vince says he can’t see (get it?) Cena as champion after tonight….and that’s it. I don’t remember them having an issue at this point but whatever.

We recap Mr. Kennedy (Anderson) vs. Batista, which is just Kennedy winning a Beat the Clock challenge and having a great record against former world champions.

Smackdown World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Kennedy slaps Batista to start and takes over as he tries to tie Batista up. Batista slugs him down and gets two off a suplex and we head outside. Kennedy spears/shoves Batista into the steps, injuring Batista’s knee in the process. We get into a regular “hurt the big man’s knee” match which is the smartest thing they could do here. A reverse Figure Four has Batista in trouble but Kennedy gets caught holding the rope.

A running kick to Batista’s face in the corner has the champion in trouble again and a knee to the head gets two. Off to a half crab for a minute or so before Batista fights up and hits a spinebuster to put both guys down. Kennedy kicks him in the face but Batista Hulks Up. There’s a weak slam as the knee is giving out on the champion.

Batista hits a Regal Roll (Kennedy used that a lot) of all things but Kennedy hits the knee to break up the Batista Bomb. The referee gets bumped so there’s no one to count after Kennedy’s neckbreaker. A DDT gets two and JBL is LOSING IT. The fans chant for Kennedy as he goes to the middle rope, only to jump into a clothesline followed by a Batista Bomb to retain the title.

Rating: D+. The psychology was there from Kennedy but Batista didn’t really go along with it. I’m not saying he didn’t sell, but at the end of the day this was only eleven minutes long which isn’t enough time to tell the story they were going for. Also Kennedy didn’t have the Mic Check yet so he didn’t have anything to finish Batista with and everyone knew it. Not a bad match but they needed more than they had here.

Kevin Thorn draws his number. He and Ariel leave and Hornswoggle comes in to terrorize the tumbler. Apparently he’s in the Rumble too and attacks Coach for good measure. Khali comes in and scares Horny off. Kelly makes a stupid joke about holding balls, drawing in Ron Simmons for his usual line.

The Marine is on DVD.

Wrestlemania is coming and Saliva, the band that does the theme song, is in the front row.

We recap Cena vs. Umaga. Cena escaped the last PPV with the title and gave Umaga his first loss so tonight it’s last man standing. Cena is coming into this with bad ribs.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Cena is defending and this is last man standing. Cena pounds away to start but Umaga barely moves. Umaga gets in a shot to the ribs and Cena falls to the outside, clutching his ribs. The champ gets sent into the steps and it’s all Umaga in the early going. They slug it out in the aisle and all of a sudden Cena’s punches work better. He tries to ram Umaga face first into the apron but Umaga screams and hits Cena in the ribs again.

Back in and Cena is in even more trouble with Umaga pounding on the ribs. A clothesline puts Cena down and Umaga brings in the steps. Cena knocks him off the apron though and throws the steps down onto Umaga’s (hands covering) head. It looked a lot better when Kane did it because you couldn’t see the hands but whatever. That draws a six count but more importantly it allows Cena to get a breather.

Umaga superkicks Cena down and it’s off to a bearhug. Since there are no submissions, Umaga lets Cena go and brings in some more steps. The steps are set up in the corner but Cena avoids the running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA AND NOT RIKISHI!!! SCREW YOU WWE ANNOUNCERS!!!) and blasts Umaga in the head with the steps. That only gets seven so Cena goes up and jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom, drawing some loud screams from the champ.

The Samoan cannonballs down onto Cena’s ribs but Cena finally knees him in the crotch to slow Umaga down. The Protobomb sends Umaga onto the steps but only gets about five as Cena hits the Shuffle to break the count. Cena tries the FU but Umaga’s weight causes Cena to fall face first into the steps. John is busted open so the fans tell him that he sucks. Ignore the fact that almost no one else could get a match this good out of Umaga I guess.

Cena gets up at eight and gets punched in the face some more, only to start Hulking Up. He pounds away on Umaga but walks into a Samoan Drop, driving the ribs and Cena’s shoulder into the mat. The Samoan Spike is blocked (for the life of me I do not get why they picked a thumb to the neck for Umaga’s finisher. The guy is a MONSTER and he pokes you in the neck?) so Umaga headbutts Cena down instead.

Umaga puts him in the Tree of Woe but Cena sits up in the corner to avoid a running headbutt. The top rope Fameasser takes Umaga down and Cena sends him shoulder first into the post. They head to the floor and Cena is covered in blood. With Umaga still laying over the ropes, Cena BLASTS HIM with a monitor to the head to put him down. Back to the floor but Umaga catches a diving Cena and drives him back first into the post.

Umaga puts Cena on the announce table and runs along the other tables, only to miss a splash and crash onto the ground. That gets nine and Cena has no idea what to do next. Estrada, Umaga’s manager, unhooks the top rope and tells Umaga to use the metal pole to blast Cena in the head. Cena catches a charging Umaga with the FU and hits him in the head with the pole. He hooks a kind of STF with the ring rope and Umaga is passing out. Umaga starts fighting up so Cena chokes him even more. FINALLY Umaga is out and Cena retains the title.

Rating: B+. This was a FIGHT which is what a last man standing match is supposed to do. I was digging the story they were telling here with Cena fighting a savage but having to become a savage himself to beat him. The fans didn’t like him at this point, but screw them as would you really rather have Umaga as champion? This was one of many awesome matches Cena had in this stretch, but OH NO kids like him so he must suck right? Give me a break.

Sandman draws his number and has a beer. Flair comes in to draw and gets hit on by Kelly. We get the adult music and Extreme Expose comes in to dance with Flair, complete with club lighting. Not that I’m complaining about Layla, Brooke (Tessmacher) and Kelly dancing in barely there outfits, but WHY DID THAT HAPPEN???

Rumble video. Not much else to say here as I’m sure you get the idea by now. This is more of a history package than a hype video for this year. The theme of this year is how star studded it is. Seven guys are from ECW so I question this premise.

Royal Rumble

Flair is #1 (second time for that along with drawing #3 one year. He really doesn’t have a great record in these things) and Finlay is #2. Finlay drops Flair with a quick shoulder and we have ninety second intervals here. Flair chops away in the corner but gets backdropped down for his efforts. Kenny Dykstra of Spirit Squad fame and currently in a small feud with Flair is #3. Flair chops away at him in the corner and Finlay tries to dump Kenny.

Everyone hits everyone for awhile until Matt Hardy is #4. That’s a pretty diverse group of guys to start things off. The young and old guys pair off with Finlay and Kenny taking over. Matt takes over on Finlay and Edge is #5. Hardy avoids a spear and hits a Twist of Fate but gets taken down with a double clothesline with Kenny. Ric throws in a chair but Edge easily throws him out instead. Kenny tries to take credit despite doing nothing, so Edge throws him out too.

Tommy Dreamer is #6 and takes down Edge of all people before getting beaten up in the corner by Finlay. Sabu is #7 and actually doesn’t bring any weapons with him. Instead he finds a table under the ring and sets it up at ringside before going in to fight Dreamer. Nothing of note happens for now so here’s Gregory Helms at #8. Finlay is sent to the apron but he hangs onto the bottom rope.

The Irishman almost sends Sabu through the table but Sabu hangs on. Now Helms teases going through it but saves himself as well. Shelton Benjamin is #9 and goes for Hardy. Benjamin and Finlay both nearly go out but somehow both survive. They’ve teased that table being broken about five times already. Kane is #10 and immediately pounds away on everyone. There’s a chokeslam to Edge and an elimination for Dreamer and Sabu, the latter being chokeslammed through the table. Law of wrestling #1: you set up the table, you’re going through it.

CM Punk is #11 and is immediately called boring by JBL for not smoking and drinking. Finlay sends CM to the apron but can’t get him out. There’s the running knee to Edge’s head in the corner from Punk but again he can’t get an elimination. King Booker is #12 and dumps Helms pretty quickly. We’ve currently got Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Shelton, Kane, Booker and Punk.

Super Crazy is #13 and is knocked down by Kane before he can do much else. JBL mentions that Mil Mascaras owes him money, which he said on Raw a few months ago. I wonder if there’s something to that. Booker and Finlay go at it until Jeff Hardy is #14. The Hardys team up on Finlay (smart) before shifting over to Edge. Now they go after Kane for some reason and hit Poetry in Motion. Sandman is #15 and is gone in as many seconds thanks to Booker.

Jeff skins the cat to save himself and Orton is #16. Hopefully he and Edge (tag champions) can clear things out a bit. Yep there goes Super Crazy and Matt takes the backbreaker. Rated-RKO throws out both Hardys and things are a lot clearer now. Benoit is #17 and fires away chops at everyone. Finlay takes a German as Punk is teetering on the apron. Now Benjamin takes a German and RVD is #18.

Van Dam fires off kicks all around and Kane throws Booker out. Booker, ever the jerk, goes back in and throws out Kane. He beats on the Big Bald on the floor which didn’t set up a Mania match surprisingly enough. Viscera is #19 as things slow down a bit. We’ve got Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam and Viscera in there at the moment. Nitro is #20 and things are getting too full again.

Punk gets crushed in the corner by Viscera for awhile and Shelton hangs on by inches. That was impressive. Kevin Thorn is #21 and no one is really doing anything at the moment. Hardcore Holly is #22 and that’s not going to pick anything up. A bunch of guys go after Viscera and Shawn is #23. He’s in DX mode and you know he’s the hometown boy here. Shawn hits a Thesz Press on Finlay and clotheslines him out before superkicking Viscera, allowing a huge group of guys to dump him.

Shelton is gone at Shawn’s hands too. The ring is FINALLY cleared out a bit now until Masters is #24. Nitro goes up top like a schmuck and gets dumped by Benoit. Chavo Guerrero is #25 and Benoit dumps Thorn in the same fashion that he dumped Big Show in 04. Van Dam goes up, can’t find anyone to kick, and hops back down. MVP is #26 as Orton tries to dump Punk.

Nothing happens AGAIN until Carlito is #27. There are way too many people in the ring again. Shawn is sent to the apron but you know he’s not going out yet. Great Khali is #28 and swings his arms a lot on the way to the ring. The match stops as Khali gets in and he beats everyone down. Khali dumps Holly as Miz is #29. He lasts a good seven seconds and there’s only one man left. Van Dam is thrown out as are Punk and Carlito. Chavo gets dumped as well and Shawn gets chokebombed. Things look hopeless but heeeeeeeeeeere’s Taker at #30.

This gives us a final group of Edge, Orton, Michaels, MVP, Khali and Taker. Taker and Khali slug it out with everyone else down. The Dead Man finally puts Khali out with a clothesline and everyone else gets beaten down as well. MVP is eliminated and tries to get a chair but Orton takes it away and cracks Taker in the head with it. Edge tries to spear Orton down but gets scared off by the chair. Instead of going after Edge though, Orton hits the RKO on Shawn to send him down to the floor but not out.

Rated-RKO goes after Taker and we’re in a handicap match at this point. Taker fights back but can’t hit a double chokeslam. He can however hit a double clothesline while being busted open. Snake Eyes and the big boot drop Edge but as Taker goes to chokeslam Orton, Edge spears Taker down. A BIG chair shot to the head drops Taker again and it’s Conchairto time. Shawn comes back in and backdrops Orton out before superkicking Edge out to get us down to two.

The fans are WAY into this all of a sudden as Taker sits up. He looks over at Shawn and there’s the nipup. The showdown is on and Shawn pounds away in the corner to no avail. Shawn kicks the chair to the floor and gets launched into the corner so Taker can pound away even more. Shawn is knocked upside down in the corner but punches his way to safety. Shawn does a Flair Flip to the apron but Taker misses a big boot, sending HIM to the apron as well. Shawn charges into an elbow and both guys are back in.

A neckbreaker puts Taker down but Shawn can’t follow up. They slug it out and Taker kicks Shawn’s head off to take over again. Taker lifts him for a suplex and wisely puts him on the apron instead of down onto the mat. Shawn fights back and goes up, only to get crotched. Taker loads up a superplex but gets knocked down so Shawn can hit the flying elbow. Chin Music is caught and there’s a chokeslam but Taker can’t follow up. The tombstone is countered into a superkick and both guys are down again. Taker catches another superkick and dumps Shawn to the floor, nearly silencing the fans in the process.

Rating: C+. The ending stuff starting with Khali cleaning house until Taker dumps Shawn out is GREAT, but until then it’s pretty dull with way too much laying around and too many people in there. The ending here is pretty questionable too as Shawn is in his hometown and would wind up being in the actual main event of Mania anyway. Taker would beat Batista for the Smackdown Title, which makes you wonder why they didn’t have Shawn win for the big hometown win here, as the results literally would have been THE EXACT SAME THING. Not a great Rumble at all but the ending helps it a lot.

Overall Rating: C+. There are two long matches here and both of them are solid enough so I can’t complain much here. The stuff that is good is good and the stuff that is bad is bad, so while it’s not terrible, this definitely isn’t a must see show. Shawn and Taker are of course great together and would have some masterpieces at Mania in the coming years, but they couldn’t make this a great show on their own.

Ratings Comparison

Hardys vs. MNM

Original: B-

Redo: B

Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Original: D-

Redo: D

Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Original: B-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. Umaga

Original: C

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C+

Man I REALLY liked that ending last time. I have no idea what I was thinking on the world title matches though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/26/royal-rumble-count-up-2007-the-best-spot-finally-wins/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

Eddie Guerrero. If you honestly believe this show is about anyone but him, you’re completely wrong and missing the point. Tonight’s show is about milking as much as we possibly can out of Eddie’s dead body, because the entirety of the Smackdown main event scene until Wrestlemania (and even glimpses of it for years to come) would be about Rey Mysterio fighting for Eddie’s memory against people like Orton. I never have been comfortable with this but it is what it is. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle. The Rumble and Edge vs. Cena gets a little time as well.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Kid Kash is champion coming in and this is Texas Tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Helms is from Raw but is here because it’s an open invitational. It’s a big brawl to start and everyone gangs up on Helms. I don’t know if there was a delay of some sort or just a really bad sign, but there are dozens if not hundreds of empty seats visible in the lower arena, most of them opposite the hard camera.

Helms gets beaten into the corner but Kash pulls some other people off for no apparent reason. Nunzio slams Kash onto the mat for one Noble gets two on Nunzio off a powerslam as London hits a dropsalt for two on Noble and Nunzio. Wait apparently those red seats are stairs. Those are rather distracting and the seating structure is odd as there’s a group of about eight seats per row then another set of stairs as opposed to most arenas where there are about twice that many in a row. At least the place isn’t as empty as it seemed.

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Back in and London loads up a shooting star press onto Kash but Helms goes up top at the same time and hooks a swinging neckbreaker to bring London down for two. A brainbuster from Kash kills London again but two guys come in for the save. All six guys are back in the ring now and Kash gets two off a Backstabber on Nunzio. Funaki can’t hit a tornado DDT on Noble and gets caught in a gutbuster for trying. Noble gets sent to the floor by Helms and Gregory hits a Shining Wizard out of nowhere for the pin on Funaki and the title.

Rating: C+. What are you expecting to find here? It’s six guys in the ring all at once and going nuts on each other with spots. There isn’t supposed to be any sort of story or flow to it and there certainly wasn’t here. It was the right choice for an opener and the match worked well enough for its purpose. Fine but nothing memorable at all. Helms would hold the title for over a year.

Teddy gushes to Vince about how excited he is over the Rumble. Vince is happy because he has Torrie, Victoria and Candace Michelle doing the drawing. They were a heel Divas stable at the time which didn’t work at all. HHH and Orton come in to draw and only the latter seems pleased with his number. Amazingly enough, these guys got the EXACT SAME NUMBERS that Guerrero and Flair got when they came in to draw last year.

Trish is looking GREAT in a referee outfit when Mickie, currently the psycho lesbian, comes up and says she loves Trish. Ok then.

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Trish is referee and I didn’t realize she was in some barely there shorts. I miss Mickie wearing those skirts that often flew up above her waist. The problem with Ashley was simple: she wasn’t that good. Mickie cranks on the arm but Ashley counters into a wristlock of her own. Massaro armdrags Mickie down and it’s clearly Mickie flipping while Ashley moves her arm.

James heads to the floor to get a breather but Ashley hits a clothesline off the apron to take her down. Back in and Mickie snaps, basically turning heel mid-match. Mickie hooks a standing half crab to fill in some time as it’s clear Ashley has nothing to do here. We head to the floor where Mickie rams Ashley’s ribs into the post. Back in and Mickie hooks a bow and arrow hold to work on the back even more.

Ashley catches an incoming kick from Mickie and starts her “offense” but can barely hook a crucifix. The only good thing about it was Mickie’s skirt flying up but the rollup only gets two. Massaro shoves Ashley into the corner and the fans are openly booing now. She’s just absolutely horrible and thankfully Mickie kind of powerbombs her out of the corner for the sloppy pin.

Rating: D. Again, anything with Trish looking that hot involved can’t be considered a failure whatsoever. She was likely there because it was clear that the match was going to be horrible and the fans had to have something to be distracted by. Thankfully Trish and Mickie would get to have their excellent Mania match instead of another Ashley mess. Terrible stuff but hot women in tiny outfits make up for it.

Big Show draws his number. Rey comes in to talk about Eddie a bit. Apparently Eddie is joking with Rey by giving him this number.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

This is part of an ongoing feud, which involved Boogeyman eating a growth off of Jillian Hall’s face. Do yourself a favor and don’t ask. Oh and I forgot to mention the set. It’s themed like a coliseum with guards opening up the doors for the wrestlers to come in. They did that at some of the old King of the Rings and I still like it.

John hides behind Jillian for awhile and then bails to the floor, leaving the blonde chick to get stalked. Boogeyman puts worms in his mouth and spits them into Jillian’s mouth. Boogey gets sent to the floor and into the steps before JBL chokes away a bit more. The Clothesline misses and a pumphandle powerslam ends JBL in less than two minutes. I have no idea what the point of this was.

Mama Benjamin comes in and hits on Vince. Thankfully Shelton comes in to save Vince from a future paternity suit. Melina comes in to hit on Shelton but Mama takes him away quickly. Mama Benjamin was one of those ideas that didn’t make a ton of sense and didn’t accomplish anything but it certainly exists. MNM draws their numbers as well. Vince and hits girls sit on the couch to watch the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble, which says everyone thinks they’ll win. Vince is vindictive against Shawn around this time too. Apparently there will be some returns tonight as well.

Before the Rumble starts, the Spirit Squad comes out to give us a chant.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1 and Mysterio is #2, naturally coming out in a lowrider and an Eddie shirt. HHH tries to power him down to start but Rey comes back with kicks to the knee. Rey hits a headscissors to take HHH down and into the corner but HHH lifts him to the apron. Rey comes back with a springboard dropkick to the back but HHH ducks the 619. Simon Dean is #3 and goes after Rey to a bunch of boos. Dean sends him to the apron and wants a high five from HHH but gets punched in the face and hit by a seated senton. The elimination is academic.

Rey takes HHH down and hits a Bronco Buster as Psychosis is #4. He immediately goes after Rey before kicking HHH down. Psychosis busts out a freaky move where he hooks a Rock Bottom grip on Rey but lifts him into the air and slams Rey face down. Rey gets put in a Razor’s Edge position but ranas Psychosis out for the elimination. Ric Flair is #5 and goes right for HHH. They slug it out with Flair taking over but ducking his head into the facebuster. Ric comes back with a crotch grab but HHH rakes the eyes and backdrops Flair out.

Big Show, who hates HHH at the moment, is #6. They were feuding at this time, I believe over HHH injuring Big Show’s hand with the hammer. Show chops him in the corner and HHH falls forward onto Show’s chest. A headbutt keeps Rey down and there’s a side slam to HHH. Like an idiot, Big Show picks up HHH and slams him to the mat instead of to the floor. Coach is #7 and makes it about thirty seconds before Show puts him out.

Show does that stupid slam thing to HHH AGAIN. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt him or anything. The chokeslam takes HHH down again and here’s Lashley at #8. He and Show slug it out with Show getting backdropped to the mat. Kane, Big Show’s tag champion partner at this point, is #9. He and Lashley stare it down and Kane kicks Lashley’s head off.

Lashley immediately comes back with an overhead belly to belly and a third press slam to HHH. Kane takes a Dominator and Sylvan, the “Smackdown fashion consultant” is #10 and lasts about 18 seconds before Lashley throws him out. Unfortunately he turns around and gets caught in a double chokeslam followed by the elimination. The partners quickly turn on each other with Kane getting a boot up to stop a charging Show. They fight to the ropes and HHH runs up to throw them both out, emulating the same thing Shawn did in 1996 with Vader and Yokozuna.

Carlito is #11 and goes for Mysterio as is the theme tonight. There’s a Backstabber to put Rey down in the corner, where he’s been for a lot of the match tonight. Carlito punches HHH down and here’s Benoit at #12. Everyone gets a German and Carlito taps to a Crossface which means nothing here. HHH breaks it up for no apparent reason and whips Benoit hard into the corner.

The Game puts Benoit on the apron and they fight over a suplex with Benoit winding up on the top rope. Benoit headbutts HHH down and hits the Swan Dive before Booker T is #13. He’s US Champion here and in tights, which suggests an injury to me. Oh yeah he’s barely moving out there and just letting Benoit chop him. Benoit dumps him in about 20 seconds so yeah Booker must have been hurt.

Benoit chops on HHH until Joey Mercury is #14. Mercury fires off dropkicks but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Carlito jumps Benoit to break it up and Mercury pounds on Benoit a bit. Freaking Tatanka is #15, giving us a group of Mysterio, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury and Tatanka. Seriously why did the bring TATANKA back? He fires off chops as the fans do the Seminole chant.

Johnny Nitro is #16 to give us the Smackdown tag champions in the ring at the same time. HHH is upside down as Tatanka chops Nitro down. Nitro is John Morrison if you don’t remember him. Mysterio is finally back to his feet after being down for about half the time he’s been in the match. Trevor Murdoch is #17 and chops away on Tatanka as the match calms down again. Eugene is #18 and immediately Hulks Up, hooking an airplane spin on Murdoch. Mysterio hits a double bulldog to take both guys down to remind us that he’s still there.

Road Warrior Animal is #18 and immediately takes MNM’s heads off with a double clothesline. A powerslam puts Nitro down and we hit another lull. RVD is #20 and is back for the first time in nearly a year. Animal and Benoit have a staredown until Benoit gets kicked in the face. RVD kicks MNM down and backdrops Animal out to finally clear some room out in the ring.

Orlando Jordan is #21 and no one cares. Van Dam hits a kick to Carlito’s face off the top and Chavo Guerrero is #22. Nitro takes Three Amigos but Chavo goes up and is immediately knocked out by HHH. Matt Hardy is #23 and hits the Twist of Fate on Jordan. RVD and Rey combine to get HHH to the apron but they can’t get him out. MNM put out Tatanka and there are way too many people in this match with three letter initials. Super Crazy is #24 and literally flips to the ring.

At the moment we’ve got HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, RVD, Jordan, Hardy, Crazy and now Shawn Michaels at #25. Why are there THIRTEEN PEOPLE in the ring at once? Everyone swarms Shawn but he punches them all off until Murdoch gets in some shots on him in the corner. There goes Trevor and Carlito knocks Shawn to the apron but not out.

Chris Masters is #26 and Hardy sends HHH to the apron. Viscera is #27 in his World’s Largest Love Machine period. He sits on Matt and does his anal rape thing as Mercury saves himself from being eliminated. Matt gets some boots up in the corner but is thrown out pretty quickly thereafter. Shelton is #28 and Benoit eliminates Eugene. Goldust returns at #29 and chops a bunch of people to no reaction.

Orton is FINALLY #30, giving us a final group of HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, RVD, Jordan, Crazy, HBK, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE MATCH. To give you an idea of how lame the star power is other than like three people in this, the final five were Masters, Viscera, Shelton, Goldust and Orton. Other than Randy that’s like a medium budget indy show, not the last five entrants to the Royal Rumble.

Randy almost immediately puts out Benoit. Seriously? You can’t put out Masters or Jordan? It just HAD TO BE Benoit??? An RKO takes down Viscera so Masters and Carlito can throw him out. Carlito immediately turns on his partner and dumps Masters. Goldie loads up Shattered Dreams on Carlito and gets in a good kick, only to be eliminated by RVD. Orton puts out Jordan and Shawn and HHH finally go at it. MNM double teams Shawn but gets eliminated for their efforts.

Shawn has to skin the cat to stay in and turns into a kick to the head from Shelton. Michaels is cool with that and sends Shelton to the apron followed by a superkick to eliminate him. This brings out Vince who hates Shawn and the distraction lets Shane run in and dump HBK. Shawn is ticked and runs back in and superkicks HHH after escaping a Pedigree attempt. He goes after Vince but a single referee stops him. Ok then.

We’re down to Carlito, Van Dam, HHH, Mysterio and Orton. Van Dam kicks Carlito out and we’re down to four. Van Dam kicks Orton in the head and teams up with Mysterio to beat on the Evolution guys. Rob goes up top but HHH crotches him and sends Rey into the corner to knock Van Dam out, getting us down to three. Evolution teams up on Rey but he knocks them both into the ropes for a double 619. Orton takes the seated senton but HHH clotheslines Rey down.

Orton powerslams HHH down but the RKO is countered into a spinebuster. HHH goes after Rey and gets flipped out to get us down to two. Cole’s voice is almost gone. HHH, ever the nice guy, pulls Rey to the floor and sends him into the steps. Mysterio is basically dead so Orton takes his sweet time. That’s his downfall though, as Rey counters the elimination attempt into a rana and sends Orton out for the win. Naturally he had to be #2 which the WWE considers less than #1 for absolutely no apparent reason, but that’s HHH for you.

Rating: C-. This isn’t a bad match, but man alive is it boring. There are three major problems in this match. First of all, there were WAY too many people in the ring at most given times. Like I said, once Orton got in there we had fifteen people in the ring at once. That’s double what the number should be around and it clutters things up way too much with that many people in there.

Second, as I touched on near the end, the talent pool was pretty shallow here. I mean, MNM aren’t bad but they don’t need to be in the final grouping of the Rumble. Guys like Masters and Carlito should have been eliminated earlier but just stuck in there. That gets old fast and it was begging for someone like Shawn to come in there and eliminate like five guys at once.

Finally, since there were so many people in there at once, it was hard to focus on any single story. You had stuff like HHH trying to go wire to wire but that got lost in the shuffle. Rey was on the mat for long stretches of time so he wasn’t really noticed either. Shawn’s issues with Vince only popped up for the elimination and were only touched on. When you can’t focus on one thing, you can’t focus on anything and that makes for a dull match. One good thing was that Rey wasn’t a guaranteed winner, so there was some drama. It’s not a bad Rumble but it was badly run.

Mickie comes in to hit on Trish as she does an interview on WWE.com.

Rey celebrates when Edge comes in and says don’t even think of challenging him at Mania.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB back at Mania and waited nine months before cashing in on Cena after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber. Tonight is the rematch three weeks later.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena walks across a catwalk that lowered from the ceiling and hops in over the top. You know, in case it’s wasn’t clear enough that Edge had no chance here. Cena clotheslines him down to start but has to chase Edge back inside, allowing the champion to send Cena into the buckle. We head to the floor again with Cena having to avoid Lita and getting sent into the steps as a result. A baseball slide sends Cena over the barricade and the match stops again.

Edge tries for a countout but Cena DIVES back in at nine. Back in and Cena pounds away but charges into a spinwheel kick for two from the Canadian. Edge punches Cena to the floor again but goes after him instead of going for the countout again. Cena gets sent into the steps and back inside a missile dropkick gets two for the champion. Edge loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, only to avoid a guillotine legdrop from Cena.

Cena grabs a quick FU attempt but Edge counters into a rollup for two. A big boot puts Cena down but he rolls through a top rope cross body for two. Edge tries a rear naked choke of all things which Cena eventually breaks up. The spear misses and there’s a DDT to put both guys down. It’s Cena up first to start his finishing sequence but Lita distracts the referee. Edge misses a charge and is sent into Lita, setting up Cena for the FU and STFU to get the title back.

Rating: D+. This was a world title match at the Royal Rumble? Why? Edge never felt like he had Cena in trouble and the match wasn’t anything that you would remember five minutes after it ended. Lita’s cleavage was awesome but when that’s the best thing about a match….well you shouldn’t be surprised because it often was in Edge’s matches, but still, pretty lame match here that made Edge look like a footnote. Obviously that would change, but not a good start for him here.

Edge freaks out on Todd Grisham in the back. Edge storms off and Lita panics a bit. We get a random Hacksaw Jim Duggan cameo (does anyone do those better?) to call her a HO!

We recap Angle vs. Henry. Batista had been scheduled to face henry but tore his triceps and had to vacate the title. Angle won the title in a battle royal and gets to defend here. The idea is that Henry is way too strong for Angle. Seriously, that’s the story. Why this main evented the show isn’t quite clear.

Angle is all I’M THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD and no one can beat me. He leaves but comes back to tell Mark Henry that he SUCKS. This version of Angle was AWESOME, as he would just go out there and go beast mode on everyone and make them look like fools trying to keep up with him. Also he was perfect for a quick title reign like this as no one would question him popping up out of nowhere and taking the title. Those kind of people are hard to find but Kurt was one of them.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Angle gets overpowered to start. That’s about all there is to say for the first two minutes or so, as Kurt keeps getting shoved around and then taken to the floor. Henry whips him into the steps and then stands on Angle’s chest back inside. We hit a bearhug for a bit until Angle hiptosses out of it. He tries a cross body like an imbecile but rolls out of the World’s Strongest Slam. The ankle lock and Angle Slam are no good so Henry clubs him down again.

Instead Angle hits a German (kind of) to put both guys down. The Angle Slam gets two (duh) and the ankle lock is broken up again. The counter causes the referee to get bumped so Angle gets a chair. A low blow and two chair shots take Henry down for two, so Angle takes a buckle off. Kurt drop toeholds him into the buckle and rolls Henry up to retain. Our hero everyone.

Rating: D. Seriously, why was this……

And a gong strikes. That’s why.

As for the match, it sucked pretty terribly. Why would we buy Henry as a potential champion here after him showing no proof of being at that level? The match wasn’t even ten minutes long, making it feel much more like a TV match than a PPV title match. I know they wanted to do the big ending with Taker, but there had to be a better way to do it.

Taker comes out in a freaking horse drawn chariot and motions that he wants the title. Then he shoots lightning from his hands at the stuff over the ring, before slamming his arms down to send lightning at the posts. The ring collapses to end the show. Yeah that happened.

Overall Rating: D. I watched this show over the course of two days, and honestly the only thing that came to my mind other than the last ten minutes of it was how Trish looked in that referee outfit. That’s how completely forgettable this show is. Nothing came out of this show as Cena was champion all over again, making the last three weeks feel like nothing. Nothing to see here and definitely not worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Original: C-

Redo: D

Boogeyman vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: F-

Redo: N/A

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: C-

John Cena vs. Edge

Original: B

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

What was I on for that Edge vs. Cena match?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/25/royal-rumble-count-up-2006-eddie-guerrero-puts-on-a-mask-and-wins-the-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s time for a new set of guys to take their place on top of the company and what better time to do that than at the Rumble? Other than the Rumble, we’ve got the final blowoff of Orton vs. HHH in a feud that still makes me shake my head to this day. Also it’s Big Show vs. JBL vs. Angle for the Smackdown Title in a match that sounds so uninteresting I’d rather watch last year’s show all over again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed like a clock counting down in the Rumble. Cool idea there.

I almost forgot: this is the West Side Rumble, which is actually designed on a theme of West Side Story, as in gangs of Raw and Smackdown guys snapping their fingers and singing. Remember that THIS was considered the best idea and that someone received a paycheck for doing this. Let that sink in when you’re unemployed next time.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge is mad that he didn’t get the title shot at Taboo Tuesday and is finally turning heel, which he would be for years to come. Edge jumps Shawn before Shawn can take off his vest, only to get sent back to the floor by Shawn. Back in and Shawn chops away in the corner but Edge comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to take over. Edge is embracing the evil here and pokes Shawn in the eye but it only ticks Shawn off, resulting in a Thesz Press by Shawn.

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

As Shawn fights up, Edge slams him right back down to stop the comeback before doing Shawn’s pose. Shawn gets guillotined on the top but Edge jumps into a punch to the ribs for two. Shawn counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two but Edge clotheslines him right back down. We hit the chinlock again although for far less time here. Michaels comes back with an atomic drop and they mistime something pretty badly with Shawn waiting on one side of the ring while Edge stumbles around on the other side.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but at nearly 20 minutes it’s too long. I’m not sure if I like the ending or not either, as Edge cheating shows that he’s embracing the heel turn, but I don’t think cheating and then hitting a move like another spear would have been a bad choice either. Still though, solid way to further Edge’s turn and a very long opener, which isn’t a terrible idea.

Teddy and Eric banter about who is going to win. Apparently we’re doing the old school tumbler thing to draw numbers with. Flair and Eddie come in (Flair hits on Torrie of course) to draw and Flair is very happy with his number. Eddie is disappointed, so he picks Flair’s pocket and steals his number. See, THIS is the kind of stuff we need more of. It enforces Eddie’s character and is funny at the same time, unlike the stupid stuff we get today that doesn’t help anyone.

Heidenreich is panicking about caskets when Snitsky comes up. Heavy breathing ensues and Snitsky says he has an idea.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Basically Heidenreich wants to replace Undertaker is his chance in a casket match. Most people didn’t think much of Heidenreich and they would wind up being proven correct. He would be followed by Great Khali in the long line of strange guys to face Undertaker.

The casket is brought out.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Taker grabs a headlock to start and pulls Heidenreich towards the casket but (Jon) Heidenreich runs away. That works so well that we do it again and Jon is terrified. Since that didn’t quite work, Taker hooks the leg with a half crab, causing Heidenreich to crawl towards the ropes in front of the casket. As we ignore the problem of crawling to the ropes, Jon bails to the floor to take the fight out there.

Heidenreich sends Taker into the casket and pounds his head into it, which apparently isn’t a problem for him. Back in and Heidenreich pounds away in the corner, only to get caught in a modified triangle choke. Taker pulls the hold down to the mat and Heidenreich is almost out, so here’s Snitsky to break up the hold. After a double suplex to Taker, the monsters start pulling him to the casket…..which has Kane inside.

Kane, who was feuding with Snitsky over Snitsky punting a plastic version of the baby that Kane’s wife Lita (just go with it) lost, destroys both guys and takes Snitsky into the crowd. Heidenreich starts shoving the casket away very slowly before slamming Taker into the steps. Heidenreich slides the casket into Taker, which looks rather stupid as Taker had nothing behind him to be crushed against but whatever.

Back in and Jon puts on a cobra clutch which chokes Taker out enough to get him into the casket. Well mostly in at least as Taker sticks an arm out and chokes away. With Heidenreich’s torso in the casket, Taker drops the apron legdrop in the spot of the match. Back in and Heidenreich is suddenly fine, pounding away on the Dead Man and hitting a Boss Man Slam for a cover. Taker chokes his way out of the casket and wins a slugout, followed by a bad running DDT. Chokeslam and tombstone hit and we’re done.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. At the end of the day, Heidenreich just didn’t work at all and he never came close to it. This was supposed to be a preview of Snitsky/Heidenreich vs. Kane/Taker at Mania, but thankfully they went with Kane in MITB and Taker vs. Orton in a great match, whereas Snitsky and Heidenreich didn’t even make it onto the show.

Teddy yells at Eddie to get Flair’s number back. Evolution comes in and a beatdown nearly ensues. Eddie has to give the number back, and he throws in Flair’s wallet too. Batista is going to go draw for the Rumble but HHH wants to talk about the match with Orton. Tensions flare but Flair calms things down. I think I smell a showdown.

Christian is here to draw his number and he’s well pleased. Cena shows up and hits on Christy but Christian isn’t pleased. He says rapping isn’t hard and challenges Cena to a battle rap. Tomko won’t give Christian a beat so he has to go it alone. Christian actually rhymes a bit but can’t rhyme charisma. Cena makes gay jokes and isn’t nearly as funny as Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This match has a backstory that isn’t important enough to explain to us. Apparently Angle had a last man standing match with JBL but the winner is even less important than the backstory. JBL is defending. Angle bails to the floor to start so Show runs over JBL a few times. There’s the loud chop in the corner followed by a legdrop which finally draws Angle into the ring for a save.

Now it’s Kurt getting a big chop in the corner. Cole says that’s like getting hit in the chest with a skillet. My question continues to be: how does anyone know what that feels like? Is that what goes on at WWE headquarters when there aren’t any shows on? Show clotheslines both guys to the floor to a surprisingly big reaction. Angle tries a German on the floor which fails completely, so Show picks up the steps.

Show loads up the announce table and climbs the steps to chokeslam JBL through said table. Before he can though, Angle hits Show low and blasts him with a monitor, knocking Show through the table. Back inside and Angle puts JBL in an armbar followed by a keylock. Kurt rolls the Germans but walks into a big boot for two. Big Show gets back in and there’s a double clothesline and headbutts all around. He slams Angle onto JBL to a big reaction. When did Big Show get this popular? Both guys get crushed in the corner and another double clothesline puts both guys down.

Show loads up a double chokeslam but the other guys go High/Low to take Show down. Angle Germans JBL down and hits a bad Angle Slam which gives JBL two. There’s a chokeslam to JBL but he gets a foot on the rope. Out to the floor and Show spears JBL through the barricade in his signature spot, putting all three guys down.

Back in and Angle goes after Show with a chair but gets flapjacked face first onto the steel. Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, Angle’s lackeys, come out for the save as JBL’s Cabinet try to wake up the champion. Show beats up Jindrak and Reigns as Orlando Jordan puts JBL in the ring for the Clothesline to pin Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

Batista won’t sign Carlito’s petition to get rid of Teddy Long. Carlito loads up the apple, looks at Batista, and swallows. Funny bit.

Batista goes to draw his number and hears Bischoff bar Evolution from ringside for the next match. Big Dave seems very happy to tell HHH.

Long video recapping HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other, Orton was never supposed to get another shot, so tonight he gets another shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending. This is when Orton was still young and a not quite plucky face. He punches Orton to the floor and gets two off a dropkick back inside. HHH pounds away in the corner but gets caught in Snake Eyes to stop him cold again. Orton tries the RKO again but gets dumped to the floor, which thankfully doesn’t break his shoulder again. HHH sends him into the steps and heads back in for some knees to Orton’s back.

The Game goes after the taped up knee and wraps it around the post because he can. HHH modifies the cannonball down onto the leg by dropping an elbow instead of sitting on it. After a quick attempt at a small package by Orton, HHH puts on a LONG Figure Four, lasting way longer than almost any other I can remember. Orton finally turns it over, sending HHH retreating to the floor.

Orton sends him over the announce table and pounds away before heading back in for his backbreaker. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Orton as does a regular one. The powerslam by Orton gets two as he doesn’t seem interested in selling the knee at all. HHH counters punching in the corner into an atomic drop to slow things down again. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets armdragged down, allowing Orton to hit a top rope cross body (his old finisher) for two.

Orton counters a Pedigree attempt into a catapult but HHH counters the RKO for at least the third time before hitting the high knee for two. Randy is bleeding from the lip. The Pedigree is escaped again and Orton gets two off a clothesline. The champ rolls to the floor again and gets sent into the steps for trying to hide. Back in and Orton pounds away in the corner, only to miss a DDT attempt and possibly give himself a concussion.

The referee looks at Orton to stall even more, as I think they’re going for some big emotional moment where Orton fights through adversity. HHH charges at Orton and knocks out the referee at the same time. It’s hammer time but HHH misses his charge and hits the post. Back inside and Orton gets the hammer, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline. HHH throws away the hammer and hits the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: D+. As usual, these two do not work well together at all. This was one of their worse matches too, as Orton never seemed to have HHH even remotely in danger at all. At the end, HHH had Orton dead to rites for a long time and won clean (he never used the hammer) with a Pedigree. Orton’s face push was killed dead here so he had to turn heel and feud with the Undertaker soon after this. Not a good match and kind of headscratching booking.

Angle literally steals Nunzio’s number and spot in the Rumble.

Teddy tells JBL and company that Jibbles has to defend the title against Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Royal Rumble

Eddie Guerrero is #1 and Benoit is #2. Dang Benoit is on a run of bad luck in these things. I think we’ve got 90 second intervals again here. Feeling out process to start and they get into a technical standoff of course. Eddie hooks one of the few chinlocks in Rumble history until Daniel Puder, the winner of Tough Enough 4 (beating Mike MIZanin in the finals) is #3. He gets on the mic and says that he’ll be the first Tough Enough Champion to win the Rumble, drawing “are you serious” glares from Benoit and Eddie.

Benoit and Eddie fire off chops in the corner followed by a double suplex because they can. Eddie hits Three Amigos and Hardcore Holly is #4. Holly asks if he can have some fun with Puder and rips some skin off with chops in the corner. Benoit and Eddie get in some chops of their own before Holly kicks Puder low, hits the Alabama Slam, and throws him out. Hurricane is #5 as Guerrero and Benoit dump Holly.

Hurricane gets double teamed but Eddie tries a double cross, only to get chopped for his efforts. Hurricane hits a Blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him down and whips him into Eddie for the elimination. Kenzo Suzuki (one of the most forgettable footnotes in wrestling history) is #6. Just like everyone else, Benoit and Eddie pound on him in the corner with chops and suplexes, but Benoit turns on Eddie ala earlier but only throws him to the apron.

Edge is #7 to a BIG pop. He beats on everyone in sight but gets clotheslined down by Benoit. Rey Mysterio is #8 and my goodness does Suzuki look out of place in there. Thankfully Rey headscissors him out about twenty seconds after entering, getting us down to an AWESOME tag match if they ever got around to doing it. Edge goes after Guerrero and here’s Shelton Benjamin, the current IC Champion and on pure fire at this point, at #9.

There isn’t a bad combination in the ring at the moment. Benoit tries to dump Rey but Eddie tries to put both of them out. Shelton can’t eliminate Edge so he walks into a headscissors from Rey instead. Here’s Booker at #10 to keep the talent level high. Question for discussion: who is the worst worker in the ring at the moment? Here’s Eric Bischoff to cheer on the Raw guys as Benoit puts Eddie in a Boston Crab.

Jericho is #11 to a BIG pop. Teddy Long comes out to cheer as well as various people beat on each other. Luther Reigns is #12 to stop the hot streak dead. With four Raw guys (Benoit, Edge, Jericho and Benjamin) and four Smackdown guys (Booker, Luther, Mysterio and Guerrero), it’s time for a showdown ala the West Side Rumble that the show is based on. That’s a cool idea in theory, but what happened to the “every man for himself” concept?

Muhammad Hassan is #13 and the match stops cold. Everyone surrounds Hassan and the group beatdown is on. The fans REALLY dig this, which says a lot about Hassan’s potential. He was going to win the world title over Batista in Washington DC at Summerslam, but real life issues got in his way. Hassan is out in less than a minute and here’s Orlando Jordan at #14. Tazz says we can compare Jordan to Benjamin. Other than a good look, talent, charisma or fan interest, they are indeed neck and neck.

Scotty 2 Hotty is #15 but Hassan jumps him in the aisle, keeping him from ever getting into the ring. Taker beat him down in the aisle in 2002 also so it’s not the best even for Mr. Hotty. The ring is getting too full now but most of the guys are talented enough that I can live with it. Charlie Haas is #16 and Luther is put out by Booker, as is Jordan. That clears things out a bit. Booker stops for a Spinarooni and charges into a low bridge from Eddie to get rid of him.

Renee Dupree is #17, giving us Benoit, Guerrero, Edge, Mysterio, Haas, Jericho, Benjamin and Dupree. The World’s Greatest Tag Team hits their Shelton jumps over Charlie spot to Renee but Shelton misses a splash in the corner and gets dumped by Edge. Simon Dean is #18 but he stops to do exercises on the floor before getting in. JR goes off on him in a funny bit. Eddie stops to look at him and Edge dumps Guerrero as a result.

Shawn is #19 and superkicks Simon out, doing some Hindu Squats to celebrate. Edge tries to corner Mysterio in a corner. JR: “Makes a lot of sense.” Shawn backdrops Charlie out and Kurt Angle is #20. He hits Angle Slams on everything in sight but tries the ankle lock on Shawn. Michaels rolls through and superkicks Angle out after less than 40 seconds. Coach is #21 and you can hear JR groan. He gets in a single shot on Benoit and runs to hide.

Edge tries to put Mysterio out and here’s Jindrak at #22. Angle comes back in and dumps Michaels before blasting him with the steps and putting him in the ankle lock. I’m thinking we need a masterpiece at Wrestlemania to settle this. Viscera is #23 and he pounds on everyone in sight. Paul London is #24 and nearly slides out of the ring from sliding in so far. Dupree takes him down but stops to dance, allowing Jericho to dump him.

London gets sent to the apron but slides back in as Cena (BIG pop) is #25. He gets in a shot on everyone and backdrops Viscera out. Cena and Benoit slug it out as Snitsky is #26. He’s still kind of a threat at this point and runs over everyone in sight. Londdon gets knocked to the apron again and hit with a HUGE clothesline for an even bigger backflip off the apron to the floor. That made a lot of highlight reels.

Snitsky and Cena stare each other down and John takes a big boot. Kane is #27 complete with pyro. Tazz: “WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT OVER HERE??? THIS IS NUTS!!!” Chokeslams all around as London is taken out on a stretcher. Jindrak goes out thanks to Kane and Coach of all people tries to avenge him. Batista is #28 and the pop that Cena got looks like a whimper. Snitsky is gone immediately and it’s time for a showdown with Kane. The crowd is WAY into Batista as he powerbombs Kane.

There goes Jericho thanks to Big Dave but Edge hangs on. Christian is #29 and he goes right after Cena. Cena is all like BRING IT ON and stomps Christian down in the corner. Rey hits a 619 on Kane and Cena FU’s the monster out. Flair is #30, giving us a final group of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batsita, Christian and Flair. Not bad at all with one exception. Evolution teams up for a spinebuster on Coach for the elimination before doing the same to Christian.

Benoit chops away at Flair but walks into a spinebuster and the elimination by Ric. Flair goes for a toss out of Batista but gets glared at in response. Edge and Mysterio dropkick Batista down and Edge dumps Flair, getting us down to Edge, Mysterio, Cena and Batista. Edge spears Cena and Batista down but Mysterio avoids the one coming at him. There’s a 619 to the Canadian but a springboard legdrop misses and Edge spears Rey out. Edge charges at Cena and we’re down to Cena vs. Batista.

The fans REALLY like this (and they’re in red(ish) and blue to match their brands) and the staredown is on. Cena slaps away (clearly open handed) and tries the FU over the top but Batista blocks it. Dave loads up the Bomb but Cena fights out of it and they head to the ropes where both fall out, seemingly at the same time. Seriously, it’s so close you can’t fairly say one of them went out first.

We have a split decision, so here’s Vince to charge out, slide into the ring….and destroy his knees and rip both of his quadriceps at the exact same time. While Vince sits on the mat (and hopefully doesn’t seeing Batista dying laughing), both guys throw each other out and Vince restarts the match. Why this means we don’t start with Benoit and Guerrero again isn’t explained but it’s spinebuster and elimination for Batista, sending Big Dave to the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. I don’t remember liking this as much the first time around but this was really good stuff. That segment in the first part with all the talent was reminiscent of the 1990 edition where there was a string of incredibly talented guys to start things off. Then things slowed down a bit, but once Cena hit the crowd, who was already red hot all night, got turned up to white levels and things went through the roof. Goofy ending (which wasn’t planned) aside, this was great stuff and a forgotten classic Rumble.

Overall Rating: B. This is a solid show overall with only the casket match being really bad. The Raw Title match isn’t terrible but it’s not worth watching either, especially with Orton’s lack of selling being horrible. Batista and Cena would of course go on to Wrestlemania to win both world titles and dominate the company for years to come, making this a truly game changing show. Good stuff here and certainly worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B-

The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D-

Redo: D

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: B-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Like I said, I liked the Rumble a lot more this time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/24/royal-rumble-count-up-2005-the-rise-of-the-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestling is built on the backs of feuds. When you add up all the matches and promos, they combine to form a feud between two wrestlers or teams. Over the course of 2016, WWE has produced more than its fair share of them but a handful have stood out above the rest. Today we’re going to look at the nominees for Feud of the Year. As will be the case with all of the awards we’ll be looking at over the next few weeks, these are presented in no particular order.

1. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks.

This is a feud that has lasted a long time as these women fought down in NXT with Banks taking Charlotte’s NXT Women’s Title early last year. Both of them debuted on the main roster as part of the Divas Revolution later in the year, setting them on an inevitable path towards each other, likely over the Women’s Title.

This led to a long series of matches between the two of them with both women getting the better of it at one point or another. Both have taken the title from the other on multiple occasions, though Banks was never able to defeat Charlotte in a pay per view setting. All of her three title wins came on episodes of “Monday Night Raw” and all three ended in less than a month with Charlotte taking the belt back every time.

However, as good as their matches were, there was a much bigger historical significance to their rivalry. At “Hell in a Cell 2016”, Banks and Charlotte wrestled in the main event, making them the only women to ever do so at a WWE pay per view. To call this a huge moment would be an understatement as just a few years ago, WWE Divas (a term which has thankfully gone by the wayside) were lucky to have a two minute match with a chunk of that going to entrances.

Charlotte vs. Banks produced some excellent matches but more importantly, they set the bar for women’s wrestling at an entirely different level. What used to be a sideshow attraction turned into something that headlined one of WWE’s most important events of the year. The feud also had a conclusive ending, which isn’t something you get often enough in wrestling. It’s very good but also historic and that’s going to take something special to beat.

2. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

While Charlotte vs. Banks was built on action, this feud was built entirely on emotion. Ziggler has spent a large portion of this year talking about how he needed to win the big one no matter what happened. Unfortunately, this led to loss after loss after loss as Ziggler continues his career trend of not being able to pull off the big one no matter what he did.

After the Brand Split, Ziggler challenged for the Smackdown World Title at “Summerslam 2016” and was defeated by Dean Ambrose. Soon after this, Ziggler entered into a feud with the Miz, who seemed to have been ready to enter a feud with Daniel Bryan, despite the fact that Bryan was retired. It was Ziggler instead though and the reaction wasn’t exactly positive. Rather than having the huge moment of a potential Bryan return, we were stuck with Ziggler being all talk and no success all over again.

Boy were we wrong though. What followed was the performance of Ziggler’s career as he fought against everything Miz threw at him (including two male cheerleaders in something that probably didn’t need to take place) and FINALLY won the Intercontinental Title at “No Mercy 2016” in an amazing performance.

Miz might have won the title back in the end and pretty clearly won the feud as a whole, but the key thing was Ziggler pulling off the win and getting somewhere for a change. The emotion more than carried the feud and while the match didn’t main event “No Mercy 2016”, it was certainly the most interesting and biggest match on the card.

3. DIY vs. Revival

If you’re not a fan of the feuds based on talking and emotion like Miz vs. Ziggler, this one should be more your speed. These two teams went at it over the NXT Tag Team Titles over the course of several months with Tommaso Ciampa and Johnny Gargano chasing the belts in a series of matches but never being able to catch up to the Revival.

It took leaving the country but in the end, DIY finally pulled it off and won the titles in one of the best tag matches you’re ever going to see. In a two out of three falls match at NXT’s “Takeover: Toronto”, Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder tapped out at the same time to make DIY the new champions once and for all.

This was more of your traditional style of wrestling feud with DIY defeating the Revival in a non-title match earlier in the year to prove they could pull it off before getting closer and closer to the titles every single time. That’s what made the big blowoff title match work so well (aside from the fact that it was an instant classic and a Match of the Year candidate of course): it was such a long time coming that the fans wanted to see the title change because they bought into all the close calls.

NXT is one of the few promotions where you know what’s coming more often than not but the fun is in the journey to the finish line. It wasn’t much of a surprise when DIY finally took the belts but that didn’t make it any less of a blast to see them put Revival away. This feud had the classic match (two of them actually) and one of them might have been the best match all year. What more can you ask for?

4. Samoa Joe vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

We’ll stay in NXT for one more as these two did something unheard of in the promotion’s history. Nakamura debuted back in April and took NXT by storm. In his debut with the company he took Sami Zayn beyond his limits and had one of the all time great NXT performances. This was followed up by a victory over Finn Balor and then a challenge to the NXT Champion.

That champion would be Samoa Joe, who had surprised quite a few people by defeating Balor to become NXT Champion. This set up a collision course between Nakamura and Joe over the title with Nakamura taking the belt away at “Takeover: Brooklyn”. It seemed that Nakamura would go on to hold the title for as long as he wanted as no one had ever been a two time NXT Champion.

That’s just what Samoa Joe did though as he defeated Nakamura for the title at “Takeover: Toronto”. The title reign would only last fourteen days though as Nakamura would defeat Samoa Joe again in a match held in Osaka, Japan. Nakamura finally defeated Samoa Joe once and for all inside a steel cage in Melbourne, Australia. The feud was punctuated with some great promo work from Samoa Joe, who injured Nakamura and then demanded that NXT General Manager William Regal either hand him the title or bring him Nakamura. This led to Nakamura returning and losing the title in a big surprise.

This feud had some excellent, hard hitting matches but also took NXT and its title to some new places. Instead of having someone win the title, defend it against the former champion and then move on, it was actually something fresh with the two wrestlers trading the title. This gave us some very strong surprises to go with the intense matches and promos between the two, making it an NXT classic.

5. AJ Styles vs. John Cena

There’s nothing wrong with a feud between the old guard and the new guard. Cena has been one of the best wrestlers and biggest in WWE for well over ten years. Few have been able to challenge him for that crown but Styles pulled it off. Debuting in January, Styles was instantly a dream opponent for Cena as they had been the two biggest stars in the two biggest promotions in America for years.

A match was quickly set up over the summer with Styles taking a surprise heel turn on Cena to set things up. In an even bigger surprise, Cena lost to Styles, albeit with some help from Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows. With one classic under their belts, the only solution was to have a second match on the bigger stage of “Summerslam 2016”.

In the real shock of the feud, Styles pinned Cena completely clean for one of Cena’s only such losses in several years. Styles was instantly a huge star in WWE and would go on to win the Smackdown World Title at “Backlash 2016” while Cena was soon on his way to a hiatus, leaving Styles as the undisputed ace of the “Smackdown Live” roster.

This is how you make someone into a huge star by way of a big rub. Cena is someone who is going to be able to lose matches like this and bounce back with almost nothing lost along the way. Styles on the other hand was able to gain more in those two wins than almost anything else he could have done in months against other opponents. The shock of Styles winning clean still holds up and Cena will be just fine when he gets back in the ring full time.

6. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

Yeah you knew these two were going to be on here at some point. These two seem to have a great feud over year or so and that’s what matters. This time it was your old standard: they’ve hated each other for so long that they have to feud again at some point. Owens is such a perfect bully and Zayn is the ultimate underdog so how can the matches not work?

They had two great matches on pay per view this year at Battleground and Payback with the two of them splitting the wins. That win for Zayn at Battleground was a huge moment because he never won the big one over Owens at any point. This made Zayn into a player for the first time and if you ignore him doing nothing special after the win, it should have been a turning point in his career.

On the other hand, Owens got a big run out of this and would wind up being the World Champion as a result. Now, logic would suggest that Zayn would go on to be the #1 contender but since WWE decided that THIS IS THEIR LAST MATCH (until a few months later when they fought on Raw), that went nowhere. At least the two matches on pay per view were great.

Zayn vs. Owens is one of those feuds that is going to work no matter what because they know each other so well. Some people just have natural chemistry together and you can’t teach that. They had a few great matches in 2016 and I’m sure they’ll have great matches for years to come because that’s what great wrestlers do.

7. Adam Cole vs. Kyle O’Reilly

This is similar to Zayn vs. Owens as they’ve been fighting for so long now that it’s just kind of what they do. This feud went on for several months on and off over the course of the year with O’Reilly finally winning the World Title at Final Battle 2016. The matches were mostly great with Cole promising that Kyle would never win the World Title on his watch.

The key thing to this feud was how well it built up on all of their matches over time. The idea of Kyle getting closer and closer to the title with Cole holding him back just before he could cross the finish line made the title change all the sweeter. You even had some great storytelling in the title match with Cole hiding because he’s a coward and Kyle fighting because that’s what good guys do.

Again, must like Zayn vs. Owens, this one worked because of the story that came before it. They were both part of a great team and that made for an even better feud. There’s a big difference between just having a match for the sake of having a match and building up a story to get to the big blowoff.

The feud was violent, personal and entertaining as the big payoff was worth the build in the end. Kyle made the title seem important and beating one of the biggest stars in the history of the company helped so much. The fact that it was his old partner and rival was the big icing on the cake, which made everything work so well.

As for my pick though, I’m going with DIY vs. the Revival.

For me, it was the perfect balance of everything needed in a major feud and had no problems along the way. Each of the other four options had a flaw that holds it down just a bit. Charlotte vs. Banks felt repetitive, Miz vs. Ziggler was a bit much as Ziggler kept changing what he had to do to consider himself a success, Nakamura vs. Joe didn’t have a big enough ending and Styles vs. Cena was only two matches long.

That’s not to say that DIY vs. Revival was leaps and bounds better but it found the perfect balance for an amazing feud. The story went on at a good pace, the matches were outstanding and the blowoff was executed perfectly. It felt like it had a beginning, a middle and an ending instead of just going through the motions until everyone had something else to do. I was completely sold on the final match and it never got anywhere close to boring. It’s the best feud of the year in a year with some very strong candidates.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 10, 2017
Location: Raising Cane’s River Center Arena, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

As is becoming the regular case around here, we’ve got a title match set up coming into the show. In this case it’s the Tag Team Titles being defended as American Alpha put the titles on the line against the Wyatt Family. Other than that we have John Cena’s first singles match in a long time as he faces Baron Corbin. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Miz vs. Dean Ambrose over the last few weeks, including all the slaps and without the new interviewer stumbling over her words.

Here’s Ambrose for the Ambrose Asylum as hosted by the new Intercontinental Champion. Let’s get this out of the way right now: he’s in the Royal Rumble. Other than that, he’s annoyed that they can’t have a live alligator in the ring due to not having a permit. He does however have a plastic alligator head named Maryse, which brings him to his guest. That would of course be Miz and Maryse, who cut him off before their introductions.

Miz is in the Rumble as well but more importantly, he wants Ambrose to hand over the title that Miz should have retained due to outside interference. Dean agrees to give Miz something but it’s the Participation Award from a few weeks back. The fight is on and Maryse slaps her husband by mistake, setting up Dirty Deeds to Miz. Maryse is handed the award as Dean leaves.

We recap Nikki Bella vs. Natalya to set up their match tonight.

Nikki is on her way to the ring when Natalya jumps her.

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

Bella charges out to the ring without selling anything (because that would mean she’s not FEARLESS) and it’s a big brawl, meaning no match. Natalya takes out the bad leg and puts Nikki in the Sharpshooter on the floor.

Dolph Ziggler has nothing to say about what he did to Kalisto last week.

Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

A very fast hurricanrana sends Ziggler outside to start so he opts for some technical wrestling to take Kalisto down instead. The masked man tries to speed things up but gets kicked in the head to put him on the floor as we take a break. Back with Kalisto being stuck in and then fighting out of a chinlock. Ziggler charges into an elbow in the corner and gets rolled up for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: D+. Dang that’s not good. I’m sure this is part of a longer form story though I’m not sure what Ziggler is going to do next. I like the idea of making Ziggler even angrier than he already was but I don’t trust WWE to be able to follow up on this. Kalisto winning is cool though there’s no secret to the fact that it’s just a way to advance Ziggler’s story.

Post match Ziggler lays Kalisto out and destroys him with a chair as CHILDREN are watching. Yes I say they’re WATCHING THE SHOW IN FRONT OF THEM! THIS IS SO FREAKING INTERESTING! Apollo Crews comes out for the fight as Ziggler goes to leave, only to get chaired down as well.

American Alpha isn’t underestimating the Wyatts but they know they can beat them.

John Cena wants to know who Baron Corbin thinks he is. Cena is the one who needs to make a statement and he’s been called a lot of things in WWE. Last week, AJ Styles called him a has been and Corbin agreed with him. Tonight the lone wolf may be on the prowl tonight but his name is John Cena and his time is now.

The Wyatts say they’ll win the titles back.

Tag Team Titles: Wyatt Family vs. American Alpha

Alpha is defending and it’s Bray and Randy for the Wyatts. Bray takes Jordan down to start with Jason easily taking over on the mat. Randy comes in and gives up a blind tag to Gable, who armbars Bray over the top rope. Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup and Gable follows it up with a dive off the apron.

Back in and Bray just runs Gable over, allowing Orton to drop him back first onto the barricade. I heartily approve of anything that means a hot tag to Jordan. The chinlock doesn’t work very well so Orton goes with a slingshot suplex for two. Gable finally gets up and makes the tag to Jordan so things can speed way up. It must be the straps coming down to slow down wind resistance. Harper grabs Jordan’s leg though and Jason gets draped across the top rope, sending us to a break.

Back with Orton raking his boot over Jordan’s eyes before handing it back to Bray, who eats one heck of a clothesline. The real hot tag brings in Gable for some bad looking right hands on Wyatt. A top rope clothesline gets two on Orton but Harper gets on the apron, only to be knocked off when Orton goes for the elevated DDT. Harper gets back up and distracts Orton, allowing Gable to ram them together for an O’Connor roll on Orton to retain the titles at 15:32.

Rating: B-. This was a storyline loss for the Wyatts and I’m getting curious about where it’s going. I’m actually not sure what Orton’s endgame is here but if it sets up a bit match against Bray, so be it. Orton really could be on either side here and that makes things all the more interesting.

Post match Harper and Orton are about to fight with Bray trying to break it up. Harper throws a superkick but hits Bray by mistake. Bray looks at both of them as the fans chant Randy. Wyatt leaves on his own.

Corbin is ready for Cena.

Clips from Wrestlemania XXXIV press conference in New Orleans.

Becky Lynch asks Daniel Bryan who was the other La Luchadora. Alexa Bliss comes in and says she was about to find out who was under the mask when Lynch messed everything up. Bryan doesn’t want to hear it and gives Becky a title match next week inside a steel cage.

Carmella vs. CJ Lunde

The jobber’s last name is probably a rib as Lunde is Arn Anderson’s real last name. Carmella runs her over a few times until Ellsworth grabs Lunde’s leg. A hard left hand gets two for Carmella so Lunde goes outside to yell at James. Back in and a badly botched Downward Spiral sets up the Code of Silence for the tap out at 2:41.

We look back at Undertaker entering the Royal Rumble last night.

Carmella is going to take Ellsworth on a shopping spree next week.

Baron Corbin is ready to end Cena. AJ Styles comes in and tells Corbin to impersonate the champ and beat Cena up.

Baron Corbin vs. John Cena

Styles is on commentary. Corbin wastes no time in kicking Cena in the face to put him on the floor as we take an early break. Back with Cena not being able to hit the AA because someone under 300lbs is too heavy for him to lift. They head outside with Cena throwing him into the steps for his first breather of the match.

As Styles talks about how he wants Cena to lose because he just doesn’t like John, Corbin gets in a powerslam for two. Deep Six gets the same so Baron opts to just squeeze Cena with a bearhug. That lasts as long as a bearhug is going to last before Cena fights out and grabs a tornado DDT. Back up and the ProtoBomb sets up the AA for the clean pin on Corbin at 11:02.

Rating: C+. This was just a match really and I’m ok with seeing Corbin lose clean here. He got to beat on Cena for a good while before going down to the biggest name in a long time. I’d have been fine with Styles causing the fall in there somehow but either way it’s a fine way to have Cena come back and Corbin doesn’t lose a ton of steam.

Overall Rating: B-. This one didn’t have as much going for it as recent episodes but it’s still far better than almost anything else WWE has been putting on as of late. Again, you can see the Ryan Ward influence here by setting up stuff for next week to keep you coming back. How many times have you seen a show completely wrapped up with nowhere to go next week? That’s bad storytelling and thankfully you never see it on Smackdown anymore.

Results

Kalisto b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup

American Alpha b. Wyatt Family – O’Connor roll to Orton

Carmella b. CJ Lunde – Code of Silence

John Cena b. Baron Corbin – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Now we’re at one of the big ones. All the stories, all the hype and all the talk doesn’t mean much if the match at the end is worthless. That’s where we’ve arrived: what is the best match of the year? As uninteresting as WWE has seemed, it’s actually been a stacked year for big time matches and there are several to pick from. As usual these are in no particular order and only WWE matches will be considered. Also note that if a match isn’t included, it’s either because I didn’t think it was as good or, far more simply, I didn’t see it.

1. AJ Styles vs. John Cena – Summerslam

Let’s get one of the big ones out of the way early on. This is the definition of the Big Match John fight with Cena coming back to face Styles one more time, only to actually get pinned clean. That’s something that might happen to Cena once a year (twice at most) and for him to put Styles over was a huge deal. This is the match that made Styles into a main event player and broke the idea of Cena losing the first match but winning the rematch.

Above all else though, this was about the action. These two beat the heck out of each other for over twenty three minutes and it felt like the big match it was supposed to be. This was two top level stars at the top of their game fighting at one of the biggest shows of the year. While that happens a lot, this felt like they lived up to the hype, which is what you have to expect from people at their level.

2. Kota Ibushi vs. TJ Perkins – Cruiserweight Classic Finale

This is a simple idea: take a pair of talented guys and let them fly around the ring for the better part of fifteen minutes because they’re some of the most talented cruiserweights in the world. Ibushi was one of the favorites to win the tournament from the start but Perkins gave him a real challenge, eventually beating him to advance to the finals and winning the tournament later in the night.

Instead of wasting time with generic moves and almost no characters, we had two guys who are talented and doing all kinds of things to fire the crowd up. The crowd helped as well with the kind of people who wanted to see this style match and appreciate it far more than the average WWE fans. The lack of a story is fine because this was all about the action, which is the point of something like the Cruiserweight Classic.

3. Royal Rumble

Take thirty people, put them in a battle royal with timed intervals, the last man standing is the WWE World Champion. It’s a very simple concept and something that even non-wrestling fans can easily understand. This was all about the World Title with defending champion Roman Reigns having to start the match because everything was rigged against him. This included the eventual winner Triple H coming in as a surprise entrant.

The match was all about the drama because there was always the chance that someone was going to be a surprise World Champion. The ending was a bit predictable but the mere chance was enough to make things more interesting. For once it wasn’t about the title match down the road because it was all about the title then and there. It’s a risky play but for once it actually worked, making up for the fact that it hadn’t happened since 1992.

4. Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte – “Monday Night Raw” – July 25

This has easily been the greatest year for women’s wrestling (at least on the main roster) and it would be criminal to not have at least one match from them on here. In this case, we’ll go with the first post-Brand Split episode of “Monday Night Raw” when Charlotte FINALLY lost the title she had held (realistically) since October. Banks had been the most popular woman on the roster for a long time and the title change was long overdue, meaning the time was right on a major show like a landmark episode of “Monday Night Raw”.

The fact that it was the main event of the show is an afterthought at this point and that’s what’s the most amazing part. Trish Stratus vs. Lita in the main event of “Monday Night Raw” was legendary and now these two are main eventing multiple times a year. It’s also one of the best women’s matches of the year because these two have amazing chemistry and it was excellent television watching them change the title here.

5. AJ Styles vs. Roman Reigns – Payback

Steve Austin called this one of the best WWE matches he’s seen in years and that means it’s at least worth a look. Styles won the title shot on the “Monday Night Raw” after “Wrestlemania XXXII” and wound up giving Reigns a run for his money. Sure it took the help of Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson but you don’t need a newcomer giving the new champ a real test on his own just yet.

What followed was an outstanding power vs. speed match with Styles giving him everything he had and getting some insane near falls. Reigns eventually won with a spear and then won the rematch in the same fashion, but these matches made Styles feel like a major player. He was facing Cena soon after and then winning the Smackdown World Title. Sometimes it’s all about that first match though and this one was a blast throughout.

6. DIY vs. Revival – Takeover: Toronto

Now we’ve got one of the frontrunners. If there’s one thing NXT knows how to do, it’s set up things from the beginning and move forward until you NEED to see the big ending finally take place. That’s what we had here with DIY getting closer and closer to winning the NXT Tag Team Titles. It was finally set up for the big time NXT gimmick match: two out of three falls. That meant you could see extra wrestling and my goodness did they blow the roof off the place.

The match itself was some of the best wrestling NXT has ever put together with some of the hottest near falls I’ve ever seen. The ending was even better with DIY hooking a double submission to make Revival tap out at the exact same time because there was just nothing left for them to do. It’s much more about putting everything together to tell a complete story with the challengers getting closer and closer until they FINALLY captured the titles because they were the better team. That’s how wrestling is supposed to work and it was in one of the best matches of the year.

7. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens – Battleground

If you have a feud between two very talented wrestlers, at some point one of them actually needs to win their share of the matches every now and then. That’s been the problem for Zayn over the years as he very rarely actually beats Owens. It had to happen at some point though and that’s what happened here. After all those major losses (and one win on a nothing “Monday Night Raw”), Zayn FINALLY got to beat Owens on the big stage at “Battleground 2016”.

Much like the DIY vs. Revival match, this was all about the story. The idea was that Owens was just flat out better than Zayn, who kept getting close but could never close the deal. That’s what “Battleground 2016” was all about and the fact that it was billed as the final match between the two of them (of course it wasn’t) made it feel like a huge moment. Zayn needed the win, so of course WWE then did a total of nothing with him after that and made Owens the Raw World Champion. But still, Zayn winning was a great moment and the natural chemistry between the two of them made it even better.

8. Team Smackdown Live vs. Team Monday Night Raw – Survivor Series

It was billed as the other main event of the show (along side FANTASY WARFARE) and my goodness did it manage to work well. This match lasted almost an hour, making it even longer than some Royal Rumbles. The eliminations took their time and the match was allowed to build up instead of being rushed along until we get to the big ones at the end, making it feel like an event instead of just a regular match.

The fact that it was the Wyatts being the sole survivors instead of Reigns and Seth Rollins made it even more important. For once, Bray Wyatt got a big win and looked like a star, which hopefully means something going forward. Unfortunately the match is almost entirely forgotten after the big main event became all anyone remembers from the show. That being said, we had a great match beforehand and it’s worth looking at again.

9. Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler – No Mercy

Unlike several previous moments, this was all about drama instead of the action. While the wrestling was good, the idea that it was someone’s career vs. a title made it seem important. Ziggler was on a downward spiral at this point and Miz looked better and better every week so the idea that Ziggler could win seemed like a long shot. It was such a long shot that the official preview for the following episode of “Smackdown Live” talked about Ziggler’s exit from the company.

Ziggler of course won, but the fact that it was billed up as a match that he HAD to win was the key to the whole thing. Miz can talk his way into anything and he had us believing that Ziggler’s whole life revolved around this one match. It told a great story and set up the match as something that feels like it matters for a change instead of “eh we can just do the same thing next week.” Sure Ziggler dropped the title back a few weeks later but he won here, which is what mattered more than anything else.

10. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Sami Zayn – Takeover: Dallas

Until DIY vs. Revival, this was the undisputed clubhouse leader for Match of the Year and it’s still one of the most amazing things I’ve seen. I was lucky enough to be in the crowd for this show and I bought all the way into everything that happened throughout. This was all about beating the absolute heck out of each other with the winner being the one to survive. It was also Zayn’s grand finale in NXT, which wasn’t the biggest surprise when you consider he was in the Intercontinental Title match the next night.

This isn’t a match that needs a lot of talking about because it was all about beating the heck out of each other and little more. Nakamura was the new kid on the block and Zayn was on his way to bigger and better things but we were lucky enough to get to see one of the hardest hitting brawls I’ve ever seen for the transition between eras. Absolutely incredible stuff and something truly special.

11. Cesaro vs. The Miz vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn – Extreme Rules

We’ll wrap it up with a forgotten classic as Miz defends the Intercontinental Title against three guys who probably should have been able to rip his head off without blinking an eye. What followed was a nearly twenty minute long match with all four more than working hard and getting in near fall after near fall. As you might expect, Miz wound up stealing the pin after someone else did the work and that’s exactly what should have happened.

This was all about the action and the question of who was going to wind up with the title in the end. In other words, it made me wonder what might happen and I wanted to see what they were going to do at the end of the match. You don’t see that happen in matches like these very often and it made the Intercontinental Title feel important for the first time in far too long.

12. The Final Deletion – Impact Wrestling – June 28

While there were better matches throughout the year, I don’t think any of them came close to this one’s level of creativity and shock value. I know there were other, bigger versions of the same formula but the first one worked better than the rest. By the time we got to Tag Team Apocalypto or the Great War, a lot of this stuff had lost its steam. The first time we saw it though, it was some of the most creative stuff ever done on a wrestling show.

The Hardys really have put together something amazing and it worked so well as a total change of pace. It might not have had much to do with wrestling but there was a ring and a three count so I guess we can classify it as a match. This is more of a glorified honorable mention but it wouldn’t be fair to leave it out.

That brings us to the winner and I don’t like doing something like this but I have to give it a tie. I have to go with a combination of Zayn vs. Nakamura and DIY vs. Revival. No matter how many times I think about these two matches, I just can’t find a way to pick between the two of them. DIY vs. Revival was a long term story but Nakamura vs. Zayn was the short term story that began and ended at the bells. Either of those can work to perfection and these two tied for Match of the Year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 8, 2002
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for a showdown as we have what would have been a dream match back in the 80s, assuming it could have actually been booked. Tonight we have Brock Lesnar vs. Hulk Hogan in what could either make Lesnar look like a killer or wind up killing what little heat he’s built up over the last few months. Let’s get to it.

We open with a newsreel style video about Hogan’s career, which is somehow contained in about a minute. This switches to a much more modern look at Lesnar’s brief career, which is a pretty nice way to set up the match.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Angle takes him down by the arm to start but Cena gets in a shoulder to put him on the floor for a breather. Back in and Angle sends him outside before a ram into the steps allows Cena to slap the steel instead of actually having his head touch it. Cena’s early comeback is cut off in a hurry via a belly to belly and Angle drives him into the corner as this is one sided so far.

A chinlock slows things down again and the rolling German suplexes make things even worse for Cena. The third is blocked though and Cena gets in a DDT for a breather. Another comeback is countered with the ankle lock but Cena rolls through that as well. Angle goes shoulder first into the post and here’s Benoit to Crossface Cena for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything but Cena has hit the ground on fire and looks like he belongs in the ring with these guys. The key thing here is that Cena has no business hanging with someone like Angle but he does well enough to make it work, especially due to the intensity. He’s doing basic offense well enough and the intensity carries him even further, which is a great sign for him going forward.

Cue Mysterio, Guerrero and Edge for ensuing saves/beatdowns.

Post break Benoit and Guerrero yell a lot because Benoit is the best submission wrestler on the show. Angle shows up to protest but Eddie makes peace and proposes a six man for later. Angle: “That’s fine but I thought you wanted real competition.”

Mark Henry vs. Reverend D-Von

Henry is all evil by jumping the preacher from behind as I try to remember why in the world these two are fighting. D-Von trips him up though and gets in a double stomp, only to have Henry grab the boot to stop a regular stomp. Henry knocks Batista off the apron and hits a side kick (!?!?!) followed by a powerslam (that’s more like it) for the quick pin.

Batista beats Henry down but Rikishi makes the save, setting up a match.

Rikishi vs. Batista

Batista shrugs off some right hands and hits a full nelson slam to start fast. Some forearms to the back have Rikishi in trouble until Batista walks into a DDT. The charge is stopped but D-Von hits his buddy by mistake, setting up a superkick to give Rikishi the pin.

Batista is ticked off at the mistake.

Brock goes into Hogan’s locker room despite Heyman’s protests. After a break they go into the locker room with Brock asking if Hogan wants to do this. Not only does Hulk want to, but if he was Brock, he’d put the title shot on the line. Brock is in. Heyman: “WHAT DID YOU JUST DO???” He goes on about how this guy is different because Hogan has overcome the odds for twenty years. Brock thinks Heyman is losing confidence in him.

Torrie Wilson jumps Nidia. I’m sure the fact that Torrie is in lingerie is just a detail.

Billy and Chuck vs. Hurricane/Shannon Moore

These teams have been having issues on Velocity as of late. Hurricane trips Chuck down to start and a Shining Wizard gets two. Billy comes in from behind and hammers away on Shannon to take over. That doesn’t last long though as the hot tag brings in Hurricane for a failed chokeslam. Instead it’s a double flapjack for two on the superhero and Tazz makes sex jokes because that’s what you do when there’s a gay gimmick in the ring.

A double knockdown allows for the real hot tag to Shannon for the house cleaning as everything breaks down. Rico is sent to the floor (Tazz: “There go the sideburns!”) and Billy shoves him in the way of a Hurricane dive. Back in and Billy and Chuck load up a Doomsday Device (Code Red), only to have Shannon turn it into a victory roll for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and again, it’s a good idea to have a new team win some matches. Well, I mean it would be if there were TITLES for them to win but this leaves you with a tag match for the sake of a tag match. That’s fine for some filler, but if this is supposed to be anything serious they need to make some major adjustments.

Edge, Mysterio and Cena are getting ready with Cena freaking Edge out a bit. Mysterio says he’ll take care of Angle tonight.

Kane is coming back. Shouldn’t that be on Raw? Or is he the subject of another “bidding war”?

Heyman can’t talk Stephanie into changing the stipulation for Lesnar vs. Hogan.

Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/John Cena/Rey Mysterio

This has serious potential. Cena has a bad shoulder coming in. Thankfully we take the break BEFORE the opening bell but come back with this joined in progress. Eh I’ll take what I can get. Back with Angle working over Edge in the corner but Benoit walks into a flapjack. Mysterio comes in and hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner, only to be taken down into the corner for the heel beatdown sequence.

Again it doesn’t last long though as Rey headscissors him down and brings Cena back in for a tilt-a-whirl slam. Everything breaks down for a bit and Cena winds up getting beaten down again with Benoit picking him apart as only Benoit can. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Angle hits a rare spinebuster for two.

As is always the case though, the heels make the mistake of going for their finisher, allowing Cena to superplex Eddie down. The hot tag brings in Edge and everything breaks down again with everyone getting to hit a single spot before someone else takes them out. I love that kind of sequence. The Angle Slam drops Cena but Kurt’s trash talk sets up the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: C+. This could have easily gone on longer but I don’t think they wanted to have Cena out there that long, which I can understand. The faces looked great here and I don’t think the heels really need to prove themselves that much. You can see the Smackdown Six being formed though and that’s nothing but great for all of us.

Angle is livid about getting pinned by a 12 year old and promises to take care of Rey later. He accurately points out that Mysterio wasn’t legal so the pin shouldn’t have counted.

XXX plug.

Jamie Noble/Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson/Kidman

Genders have to match here. Thankfully the men start after breaking up an attempt at a catfight. Kidman dropkicks Noble into the corner as Tazz reminds us that Noble is the Cruiserweight Champion. Jamie is sent outside but dives back in to save Nidia from the spanking. Torrie comes in for some slapping but Jamie trips her up, allowing Nidia to grab a rollup for the pin. This was nothing.

Stacy and Dawn Marie are catty to each other and sex with Vince is implied. Dawn gives Stacy some papers to give to Stephanie but she hides them under the couch.

After a break, Stephanie comes in to get the papers but Stacy says she sent Dawn after Stephanie. It’s a ruse of course and Bischoff pops up to take the papers while Stephanie laughs. I love that Stacy’s plan doesn’t include waiting until the cameras are gone.

Hogan knows Lesnar is stronger and younger but he has the Hulkamaniacs in his corner and is ready to fight.

Hulk Hogan vs. Brock Lesnar

The winner gets Rock at Summerslam. We get the big staredown to start and Hogan can’t do the shove out of the lockup. On the other hand, Lesnar shoves Hogan so hard that the bandana flies off. Brock’s slam is no sold and he misses a charge into the corner. Hulk drops the elbows for little effect as we hear about Hogan slamming Andre. Lesnar takes a breather on the floor and uses a Heyman distraction to crotch Hogan against the post.

Back in and the beating continues as Heyman keeps shouting HE’S DIFFERENT. For some reason Lesnar heads outside to set up the announcers’ table, earning himself a ram into the post. Cole: “That is why Hogan has been successful for twenty years in this business!” Because his opponents are idiots? A powerbomb gets two for Lesnar but it’s already Hulk Up time.

The big boot is pretty much no sold so Hogan does it again and drops the leg but the kickout puts Hulk on his feet. A third big boot looks to set up a second legdrop but Heyman grabs the boot. There’s the F5 but Brock doesn’t cover. Instead we hit the bearhug with Hogan bleeding from the mouth for the knockout.

Rating: D+. The ending was a really good symbolic way to have Hogan lose as he always survived something like that but the build to it was really lacking. This felt like it didn’t have a middle with Hogan dominating to start, Lesnar getting in a little offense and then the finish. It’s far from terrible and it accomplished the necessary goal but it was hardly anything special.

Post match Lesnar chairs Hogan in the head, putting him out of action until February. Lesnar rubs the blood on his chest as the ROCKY chants go nowhere to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It’s not a great show but the important thing here is you can see what they’re trying to accomplish. There’s clearly a goal going forward and that’s really all that matters at this point. The youth movement is in full swing and with Hogan presumably out of the way for a long time, there’s a good chance that we could get somewhere in the near future. That being said, there’s a lot of bad stuff going on as well, by which I mean Stephanie vs. Bischoff. They kept it shorter this week but dang it brings the show to a grinding halt when it shows up. There’s good stuff here but it’s not quite good enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 3, 2016
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Auditorium, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

It’s the first show of the year and because this is Smackdown Live, they actually have something set up. In this case it’s a double shot with Dean Ambrose challenging Miz for the Intercontinental Title and John Cena signing his contract for the Royal Rumble World Title match against AJ Styles. Let’s get to it.

Here are Miz and Maryse to get things going as we look at a recap of Miz vs. Ambrose. Miz has a New Year’s resolution and it’s to be more forgiving. That’s very appropriate because there is a certain woman who needs to come out here and apologize right now. Miz finds it interesting that he went after Renee Young and now Ambrose has a title shot. Cue Ambrose who gets slapped by Maryse. Dean says the hard part is over tonight because Maryse hits WAY harder than Miz.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin

Ziggler starts fast with a failed superkick before hamming away with right hands. Corbin will have none of a dropkick though and the slow beatdown begins. Some choking in the corner is followed by even more right hands before Ziggler is sent back first into the apron. Baron finally charges into an elbow and it’s time for a break.

Back with JBL doing his very JBL-style over the top commentary about a clothesline from Corbin. Ziggler gets in his neckbreaker but the Fameasser is countered into another wicked clothesline. Now the Fameasser connects for two and CUT OUT THE STUPID REACTION SHOTS. Especially when it’s just some woman smiling. The running DDT is countered but the Zig Zag scores for two. Back up and Ziggler charges straight into the End of Days for the pin at 13:42.

Rating: B-. The more I see of Corbin, the more I’m liking the heck out of him. They’re pushing him as hard as they can right now and it’s already starting to stick. The guy is getting the hang of this in a hurry and now he’s winning matches to back it up. I’m digging the heck out of this push and that’s a good thing.

Post match Corbin grabs a chair but Kalisto makes the save. Corbin bails so Ziggler superkicks Kalisto, saying he doesn’t need any help from anyone.

Carmella is in the back when James Ellsworth comes up to offer her a shirt. She’s impressed and calls him fabulous, which means he can accompany her to the ring tonight.

Apollo Crews tells Ziggler that wasn’t cool and a brawl almost breaks out.

We look back at Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch with La Luchadora costing Lynch the title.

Becky Lynch vs. La Luchadora

Lynch easily takes her to the mat and pounds away at the mask. The Bexploder makes it even worse as we hear about how bad Luchadora’s costume is. As we hear about Los Conquistaroes, Luchadora slides under the ring and comes back out with one heck of a quick dye job. The now blonde Luchadora drops Becky and goes up for Twisted Bliss. That’s only good for a big crash though and the Disarm-Her makes Luchadora tap at 2:04.

The new Luchadora is unmasked as Alexa and the double beatdown ensues.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for the Styles vs. Cena contract signing. The guys come out and Styles starts talking to Bryan, saying they’re cut from the same cloth. They’ll wrestle anyone, anywhere at any time but Cena is gone for four months and gets handed a title shot. Bryan goes into a speech about Smackdown winning the ratings battle against Raw last week and how it happened because of how the top stars were around last week.

Bryan leaves so AJ goes into a rant about how Bryan and Cena are basically brothers-in-law. Last year, Cena told AJ to get a big win or be a big indy guy. Now the tables are turned because if Cena loses, maybe he doesn’t belong in AJ’s company. A few years back, Cena was talking about how the Rock left the WWE high and dry and he was absolutely right. Now though, John Cena is the same as the Rock because he has been great for WWE. The two words that matter there are “has been”.

What AJ thinks is bothering Cena is that he’ll never be the movie star the Rock is and he’ll never been AJ Styles in the ring. Cena finally gets the chance to reply and says part of being a man is pushing back when someone crosses the line. AJ just made the biggest mistake of his life when he ticked Cena off and now Cena has no respect for him. A lot of people have said something similar to him because they forget his passion.

Cena ripped his shoulder apart and was back in four months instead of a year. WWE tells Styles where to go but they have to tell Cena to stop doing so much. Everyone else is gone but Cena is still here because that’s passion. There’s already one signature on that contract and Cena is ready to sign because everyone needs this match. People try to say that Cena sucks but they realize on their best day, they can’t be him.

Cena signs….and here’s Baron Corbin. Baron says he won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal on his first day and now he’s going to be the first Smackdown star entered in the Royal Rumble. Cena is so glad that Corbin is out here because it means John might actually get a fight here. John is ready to go but AJ kicks him in the head. Corbin says Cena’s time is up and walks away.

Maryse slaps Renee and tells her to never touch Miz again.

Carmella vs. Aliyah

Aliyah is from NXT and Ellsworth is at ringside. Carmella runs her over to start and sends Aliyah into the corner for the Bronco Buster. A chinlock goes nowhere and sets up Aliyah’s comeback but Ellsworth offers a distraction. Carmella gets in a superkick and the Code of Silence is good for the submission at 2:57.

American Alpha vs. Breezango

Non-title. Grand Amplitude ends Breeze in 32 seconds due to Tyler offering Gable a ticket.

Post match the Wyatts appear and say they’re coming for the titles next week. Orton does the “run” line and Harper isn’t pleased.

Here are Nikki Bella and Natalya with something to say. Nikki thinks it’s interesting that Natalya complains about her getting everything because of Cena when Natalya copies everything from the Hart Family. We see a Tweet from Bret about how much he likes Nikki but Natalya suggests that she, shall we say, coerced him to say that. Once Nikki’s looks fade, Cena is going to leave her and she’ll die alone (a big plot point on Total Divas). Nikki lays her out with the forearm.

The new interviewer can barely ask Ambrose if he’s ready for the Intercontinental Title shot but Dean cuts her off to say he’s going to hurt Miz.

Next week it’s Natalya vs. Nikki, Cena vs. Corbin and American Alpha vs. the Wyatts for the titles.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dean Ambrose

Miz is defending. Ambrose takes him down to start and it’s already time for a chase. That means a breather with Maryse on the floor as Ambrose is almost pacing back and forth to get his hands on Miz. Dean even turns his back on Miz and lets him get in a cheap shot, which earns Miz a trip over the announcers’ table.

Back from a break with Miz being backdropped out to the floor and taken down with the standing elbow. Miz starts in on the leg but gets caught in a backbreaker for two. A superplex is broken up and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two for the champ. It’s time for the YES Kicks but Dean sends him outside for the suicide dive.

Maryse slaps him and Dean actually talks the referee into not DQ’ing Miz. Instead Maryse is ejected, leaving Miz to hit Dean in the back with the belt for a VERY close two. You can hear the fans come back to life on the kickout. Back up and Dirty Deeds gives Ambrose the title at 14:04.

Rating: B-. This worked for one simple reason: we didn’t sit around waiting for the title to change hands on the pay per view for the sake of waiting around on the pay per view. If you consider Ambrose’s character, he should have been ready to take Miz’s head off the second Miz started things with Renee. Waiting another month wouldn’t have made sense and would have allowed the feud to cool off.

Miz can get the title back later if he has to but the key thing here is Dean won the match and the title when he should have instead of when the calendar says so. That’s good storytelling and it’s no surprise on Smackdown. Also well done on not having Young out here. It wouldn’t fit for her to be there and it would have been so easy to go with the illogical move.

Overall Rating: B+. Normally I’d break down a lot of stuff here and go over why it was good or bad but what’s the point? Practically EVERYTHING here is really good as they take such simple ideas and turn them into interesting points. The wrestling was good, the talking was good and somehow this was a downgrade over last week’s classic. That says a lot because this was a heck of a great show.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler – End of Days

Becky Lynch b. La Luchadora – Disarm-Her

Carmella b. Aliyah – Code of Silence

American Alpha b. Breezango – Grand Amplitude to Breeze

Dean Ambrose b. Miz – Dirty Deeds

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