ECW On Sci Fi – August 5, 2008: The XFL Veteran And The Boat Captain

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 5, 2008
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Todd Phillips, Matt Striker

I refuse to believe that this show could be less interesting than last week’s, but I also have a tendency to be very wrong about this kind of thing. Last week’s show featured a grand total of nothing interesting and bad matches, but hopefully they can do anything better here. Then again they probably won’t. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Matt Striker is replacing Tazz for this week on commentary. Oh yeah it’s already getting worse.

Chavo Guerrero/Bam Neely vs. Evan Bourne/Ricky Ortiz

Ortiz knocks Neely into the corner to start as commentary goes over the history of wrestling in Robinsdale, Minnesota, Neely’s hometown. Ortiz cranks on Neely’s arm and Bourne comes in for a shot to the same arm. It’s off to Chavo, who gets taken down with a running hurricanrana. A middle rope shoulder gives Ortiz two on Chavo as Striker talks up Ortiz’s time in the XFL.

Neely gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and comes in to send Ortiz into the corner (thankfully not messing up his large hair). Chavo comes back in for a chinlock but Ortiz fights up without much trouble and hands it back to Bourne. Everything breaks down and Bourne rolls Neely up for the pin.

Rating: C. Bourne is a good high flier, Chavo is fine as a midcard villain and there are worse bodyguards than Neely. That leaves Ortiz and sweet goodness he is somehow getting less interesting. Other than a unique look, there is absolutely nothing that stands out about him and thankfully the attention was on Bourne here, which did help a bit. Ortiz isn’t the next thing though and hopefully WWE figures that out fast.

Here is Mike Knox, who isn’t going to explain why he attacked Finlay last week. Instead, he’s here to show why Finlay is a fraud. We get a clip of Finlay dancing around with Hornswoggle, which Knox calls a joke. The idea of Finlay being the man who loves to fight makes Knox laugh but here are Finlay and Hornswoggle to interrupt. Finlay says that was a funny clip but it’s just the tip of the iceberg “Fred”. He doesn’t really care what Knox’s name is because if Knox has a problem with them, take a shot. Finlay tells Knox to take his shot, but Knox better knock him out. Knox walks off instead.

Raw Rebound.

Armando Estrada vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is Estrada’s final chance to earn a contract. Dreamer grabs a headlock to start before armdragging him into an armbar. Back up and a running clothesline sends Estrada to the floor before tying him in the Tree of Woe. Cue Colin Delaney for a distraction though, allowing Estrada to grab a rollup for the fast pin.

Post break, Delaney congratulates Estrada, who has no idea why Delaney helped him. It’s because Estrada gave him a chance, but here is Teddy Long to make Delaney vs. Dreamer in an Extreme Rules match next week.

Smackdown Rebound. A one hour show should really not need two lengthy recaps.

Summerslam rundown.

Braden Walker vs. James Curtis

They fight over wrist control to start until Walker’s suplex gets two. Commentary talks about Curtis being a boating captain as they try to come up with anything interesting here. Curtis gets in a shot of his own but Walker is back with an atomic drop into a clothesline. A jumping clothesline puts Curtis down, only to have him knock Walker into the corner. Walker hits another clothesline (even commentary points out that he likes that move) and grabs a fisherman’s suplex for the pin. This was really dull, with Walker never getting out of first gear and doing absolutely nothing that made him feel interesting in the slightest.

It’s time for the TV debut of the Dirt Sheet, Miz and John Morrison’s talk show. Morrison says he was offered $15 million for photos of himself as a baby but he turned People Magazine down because he isn’t for sale. With that out of the way, it’s time for our guest: Mark Henry. This means a picture of Henry on the Titantron with his mouth making grunting noises.

Tony Atlas (again, a picture) pops up to say something odd about money. Henry talks about his love of eating, which Morrison says makes you fat. Morrison: “Mark, I think you might have a gland problem.” None of the Divas would find Henry attractive, so here is a picture of Lena Yada to agree, along with blowing Miz kisses. Morrison shows off his abs but here are the real Henry and Atlas to interrupt.

Atlas is sure there has been some kind of a mistake because they did not come here to be disrespected. Miz and Morrison back off, with Morrison praising Henry’s abs. If they were going to disrespect anyone, it would be their next guest: Matt Hardy (or a picture thereof). Matt doesn’t know what it’s like to be champion because he’s never been #1 at anything.

Cue the real Matt to call out the Conan O’Brien style comedy and make a Brokeback Mountain joke. They had wondered how Matt became the #1 contender, which Matt says was by beating them. Like the slogan of their show says: be jealous. Matt promises to win the ECW Title but gets in a fight with Miz and Morrison. That includes Morrison accidentally hitting Henry, leaving Miz and Morrison to get wrecked to end the show. Miz and Morrison are amusing, but it might take some time for this stuff to really catch on.

Overall Rating: C-. Somehow, Finlay and Knox might be the most entertaining part of the show, which says a lot. There is just not much to this show and people like Ortiz, Delaney and maybe Estrada aren’t helping. A lot of the show feels it is just there to fill in time, which is hard to fathom on an hour long episode. It’s hard to imagine that there is no one else that could be sent to this show to spice it up a bit, but there is nothing to indicate that they will be showing up anytime soon.

 

 

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ECW On Sci-Fi – July 29, 2008: This Was Really Bad

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 29, 2008
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Tazz

We have a new broadcast team this week after Mike Adamle was named General Manager of Raw for reasons I don’t quite comprehend. The big story here is that Matt Hardy is the new #1 contender to the ECW Title, but unfortunately that’s about the only story of note on this show. Maybe they can get something else set up this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look back at Matt Hardy winning a four way last week to become the new #1 contender.

Opening sequence.

Tazz introduces Todd Grisham to the broadcast team.

Here is Matt Hardy for a chat. He was excited to be drafted to ECW about a month ago because it felt like a perfect fit, given his history of going to the extreme. Now he has a huge opportunity because he could be ECW Champion…and here is Mark Henry, with Tony Atlas, to interrupt. Atlas talks about how Henry was drafted to ECW as well and now he is the ECW Champion.

But what has Hardy done since he was drafted here? Lose the US Title! For now though, we’ll settle for a demonstration, with Henry bending a steel bar, just like he’ll do to Hardy at Summerslam. Hardy says it’s a wrestling match at Summerslam and unlike the bar, he can fight back. Henry can break his bones but he cannot break his spirit, which is why Hardy will win the ECW Title. This was basically Henry saying he’ll win, Henry showing off his power, and Hardy not caring. I’m going to need more than that.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Chavo Guerrero

Bam Neely is here with Guerrero. They take their time to start until Ortiz powers him down without much effort. A gorilla press plants Guerrero again but he manages to kick Ortiz into the ropes for a needed breather. The reverse chinlock with a knee in the back goes on, followed by a front facelock to keep Ortiz in trouble. Ortiz fights up but gets sent face first into the buckle to cut him off. Guerrero grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes and Neely helping…but the referee catches them for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It was maybe a bit better than Ortiz’s debut but there is nothing here that makes him stand out in any way. He’s the same generic wrestler with a good set of muscles and a lot of hair, but that’s about it. ECW needs some fresh stars, but this hasn’t exactly made me interested in anything Ortiz is doing.

Post match the beatdown is on until Evan Bourne runs in to…well get a cheap shot on Guerrero and Neely, who chases him off. Ortiz is still down in the ring so Bourne didn’t really accomplish much there.

Colin Delaney comes in to see Mark Henry and Tony Atlas, asking why they left him last week. Atlas says Delaney needs to prove he belongs with them, which he can do tonight….against Matt Hardy.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Finlay and Miz get things going with the camera making sure to point out the shillelagh on the apron. For some reason Miz decides to charge at Finlay, who grabs him by the face and drops an elbow. The nerve hold doesn’t last long before Finlay drops him with a shoulder for two. We’re already in the chinlock, making me think that they’re on rather different pages for whatever reason.

Morrison comes in for a cravate on Finlay, only to have Hornswoggle come in to trip Morrison down. Everything breaks down and stereo seated sentons send the villains outside as we take a break. Back with Morrison fighting out of a headlock (that’s a weird one) but getting taken right back down for a kick between the shoulders.

We hit the chinlock AGAIN as it’s like they’re allergic to getting going here. Morrison fights up but misses the breakdancing legdrop, allowing Finlay to grab a half crab. That doesn’t last long either as Morrison drives him into the corner, only to get backslided for two. Finlay puts the nerve hold on again as I’m almost in awe of what they’re doing here.

Back up and Finlay hits a clothesline, only to have Miz break up the cover. Finlay goes after Miz and gets posted as we might actually be doing something for a change. Miz comes in for the armbar but Morrison misses a slingshot dropkick. Finlay gets in a suplex for two and Hornswoggle tags himself in. A headscissors is blocked though and Morrison hits a reverse powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a long time and I really don’t know what they were doing. Finlay more or less wrestled the match by himself, which makes sense as Hornswoggle can’t do much, but it didn’t need to be that dull. Maybe they were trying to fill in time or something, but Finlay is capable of much better than what we got here. Rather bad stuff.

Post match Miz and Morrison leave, allowing Mike Knox to come in and lay Finlay out.

Matt Hardy vs. Colin Delaney

Mark Henry and Tony Atlas are on the stage despite saying they would be in Delaney’s corner. Delaney gets knocked the corner and suplexed as Hardy doesn’t seem to be having too much trouble to start. A boot in the corner slows Hardy down and a middle rope dropkick actually gives Delaney two. Hardy easily suplexes him back down though and hits the middle rope elbow t othe back of the head. The Side Effect and Twist of Fate finish for Hardy in a hurry.

Post match Atlas and Henry come to the ring, with Henry launching Delaney to the floor. Henry stares Hardy down and then leaves, walking by Delaney to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the weaker things I’ve seen from WWE in a long time, as there is just nothing going on here to warrant it being its own show. Atlas summed up the problem with Hardy as the challenger: the only thing he recently did was lose, which isn’t exactly something that makes me want to see what he does next. The rest of the show wasn’t much better, making this pretty horrible.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – July 22, 2008: Same Old Problems

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 22, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re done with the Great American Bash and that means we need a new #1 contender to the ECW Title. Mark Henry dispatched Tommy Dreamer to the shock of no one and needs someone else to crush next. There is a chance we find that out here as Summerslam is less than a month away. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Teddy Long to present a much bigger ECW Title to Mark Henry. Thank goodness as the one he had looked like a toy. Henry, with Tony Atlas, comes out and is rather pleased with the new belt. Atlas talks about how this is a new ECW in the home of the original. That beautiful new title is something you can all be proud of and it is held by the World’s Strongest Man. If you try to hold onto the past, you will be swept aside, but if you go along with it, you will be fine.

Like Colin Delaney, who joins us in the ring for an explanation of why he betrayed Tommy Dreamer. Delaney wanted to be just like Dreamer, but it just got him beaten up over and over. Then he saw Atlas and Henry and wanted to be like them, so here we are. Delaney calls them his future, but Long says Dreamer is Delaney’s future. As in his immediately future.

Colin Delaney vs. Tommy Dreamer

Delaney hides in the corner to start so Dreamer powers him into and then back out of said corner. They go outside with Delaney getting in a cheap shot but Dreamer runs him over with a clothesline. Dreamer ties him in the Tree Of Woe for a running dropkick, followed by a pumphandle throw. The DDT finishes Delaney in a hurry.

Miz and John Morrison are unhappy with losing their Tag Team Titles but they’re ready to win the fatal four way tonight to crown a new #1 contender to the ECW Title. Well one of them anyway. Morrison: “May the Buddha of luck sit in your corner.”

Jenny McCarthy doesn’t like autism.

Evan Bourne vs. James Curtis

Chavo Guerrero, with Bam Neely, is on commentary. Bourne takes him down with an armbar to start as Chavo brags about his various accomplishments. Curtis makes the rope so Bourne hits a nice dropkick into a hurricanrana for two. Bourne grabs a sanding armbar but a monkey flip is blocked with a grab of the rope. A belly to back suplex gets two and we’re off to the chinlock. Bourne fights up and strikes away, with another hurricanrana setting up the shooting star press to finish Curtis.

Rating: C+. Curtis has been around a few times now and he’s done well in his short appearances, but there is only so much you can get out of a match that doesn’t even last five minutes. Other than that, Bourne continues his ascent as he is slowly becoming a bigger star around here, which is what ECW really needs.

Post match Guerrero and Neely go after Bourne but he gives them the slip.

Finlay is ready to win the four way to get an ECW Title shot. Finlay: “Who needs luck when you’ve got a shillelagh?”

Raw Rebound.

Tiffany talks to Ricky Ortiz about her marketing background when Teddy Long interrupts. Ortiz has been working on some ideas, including a nickname: The Latin Assassin, complete with hand gestures! Long points out the whole “you’ve had one match” issue so next week we’ll double that.

Video on Mike Knox.

Matt Hardy is ready to get back to winning.

Matt Hardy vs. Miz vs. John Morrison vs. Finlay

One fall to a finish for the ECW Title shot at Summerslam. As you might have expected, a mini tag match breaks out, with Miz and Morrison being sent outside rather quickly. Finlay backs Hardy into the corner for some trash talking before Finlay drops him with a left arm clothesline. Miz and Morrison get back in to take over, which is cut off rather quickly. Hardy’s middle rope elbow to the back of the head drops Morrison and a backslide gives Hardy two. Hardy stands alone and we take a break.

Back with Morrison hitting a neckbreaker on Finlay as Miz chokes Hardy on the ropes. Finlay gets back up to go after Miz and Morrison, including an atomic drop and right hand to Miz. Some rollups get two each before Miz sends Hardy into the buckle. Finlay grabs a Fujiwara armbar on Morrison as Hardy suplexes Miz for…no cover as the referee is WAY out of position. With that broken up, Finlay takes over and gets two each on Hardy and Miz, only to get posted by Morrison.

For some reason, Morrison goes after Hornswoggle, earning a toss over the barricade. Miz has to save Morrison and drives Finlay into said barricade as there is a bunch of water on the camera lens. Some double teaming puts Finlay down so Hardy gets the chance to beat up both villains for a change. The double teaming takes Hardy down in the corner though, with a double gutbuster making it even worse.

Posing ensues until Morrison rolls Hardy up for two, meaning it’s time for angry Miz. The argument is on but they go after Hardy instead, only for the Flying Chuck to take Miz out by mistake. Finlay remembers he’s in the match and comes back in with the Regal Roll for two on Hardy.

For some reason Finlay actually goes up for a middle rope dropkick to put Morrison down but Hardy is back up to take everyone out. Finlay is back with the running seated senton to Morrison, with Hardy making the save. Miz’s corner clothesline hits Hardy but goes after Hornswoggle due to reasons of Miz isn’t that smart. Finlay shillelaghs Miz but gets kicked in the head by Morrison. The distraction lets Hardy kick Morrison out of the air and hit the Twist of Fate for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Good enough stuff here, with Hardy being the best choice for the next challenger. I’m not sure I can imagine Finlay challenging Mark Henry on a major show and that leaves the other two and….no. The match got some time and that made things a bit more interesting as Hardy had to overcome some odds, which went about as well as it could have gone.

Mark Henry comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event got some time, but it really did feel like it was just there to fill in a lot of the show. That’s still the biggest problem with ECW: there is very, very little here, as you had three stories in an hour. That isn’t much to go on, and it only worked fairly well here. Not a bad show, but they still need a lot more depth as there is very little to get interested about.

 

 

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Great American Bash 2008 (2024 Edition): See You Next Show

Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re wrapping up the period before the Summerslam build here and the card is one sided to put it mildly. The Smackdown side is pretty much Edge challenging HHH for the Smackdown World Title, plus a four way Tag Team Title match. On the other side, Raw has John Cena vs. JBL in a parking lot fight, CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against Batista and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in a grudge match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Vickie Guerrero and Edge’s wedding, plus HHH revealing that Edge cheated on her the night before to end Smackdown. The other big matches get some attention of their own.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Edgeheads vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse and Festus

Miz and Morrison are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Festus clears the ring as tends to be his custom before Hornswoggle comes in for a stare…uh, up. Hornswoggle rolls up his sleeves but opts to dive onto Miz and Morrison instead. We settle down to Jesse monkey flipping Miz and knocking him down again for two. Festus beats on Miz as well before handing it off to Finlay. Morrison comes in and actually takes over on Finlay before bringing Miz back in for a chinlock.

It’s back to Morrison for his own chinlock as JR continues his Morrison to Rick Rude comparisons. Finlay fights up and double legs Miz down before doing the same thing to beat on Morrison. They collide in the corner so Ryder tags himself in to hammer Finlay down. The neck crank doesn’t last long on Finlay so Hawkins comes in to keep Finlay in trouble.

The Celtic Cross hits Hawkins and a shillelagh shot gets two, with Miz and Morrison making the save. Hawkins grabs a chinlock but Finlay is back up again, this time getting over to Hornswoggle to pick up the pace. Jesse tags himself in just as fast though and the fans are not pleased with the lack of Hornswoggle. Hawkins comes back in for a cheap shot on Hornswoggle but it’s back to Festus to really clean house. Miz and Morrison are sent outside and Hawkins breaks up the Rocket Launcher to pin Jesse and win the titles.

Rating: C+. It was a fast paced opener with a bunch of moving parts but they managed to keep the focus on just a few people at a time until the ending. Hawkins and Ryder winning the titles is the right way to go as Miz and Morrison have gotten everything they can out of them and La Familia is still the biggest thing on Smackdown. Give the team some more gold, as it’s not like Jesse and Festus or Hornswoggle/Finlay are worth anything.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and is quickly taken to the mat to start. A small package gives Hardy two as well as a breather but Benjamin is right back with a headlock. That’s reversed into an armbar as they’re certainly starting slowly. Benjamin sends him to the apron for a ram into the post, setting up the armbar back inside. A gutbuster sets up the seated abdominal stretch as commentary talks about Benjamin’s aggression, despite there being nothing to suggest it exists here.

Hardy fights up and tries a Side Effect but gets planted with something like an STO. Back up and Hardy blocks Paydirt to start the comeback and hits the bulldog out of the corner. Hardy’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a heck of a buckle bomb and they’re both down. A Side Effect gives Hardy two but the moonsault…I think it was supposed to hit knees but Hardy overshot it anyway. Paydirt gives Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C. The match was far from bad, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling, as it came off as more of a house show match. The ending didn’t help things either as commentary had to scramble to cover Hardy missing. It’s not like hardy was doing anything with the title anyway so switching it over to Benjamin works as well as anything else.

We see an interview from Monday, with CM Punk talking about how he’s always been the underdog. It’s not about your size or muscle and he’s in the business of proving everyone wrong, which is what he’s always done.

We look at HHH revealing that Edge cheated on Vickie Guerrero the day before their wedding.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is defending and has Tony Atlas in his corner while Dreamer has Colin Delaney. Dreamer charges at him and is quickly shoved into the corner, with Henry throwing him around again for a bonus. A hard clothesline puts Dreamer down again and Henry steps on his head as a few BORING chants start up.

Henry works on the arm (which is code for he leans over and grabs the wrist), Dreamer fights up, Henry takes him down and works on the arm again. The splash misses though and Dreamer hits the basement dropkick but has to escape the World’s Strongest Slam. The DDT puts Henry down and Dreamer goes up for no apparent reason, allowing Delaney to pull him down. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam to retain.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of everything that is wrong with ECW. First of all, there was no reason to believe Dreamer was going to take the title. He hasn’t been nearly that important for a long time now and it wasn’t going to change here. Second, the Delaney turn doesn’t mean much as he’s a loser who didn’t exactly become a star when he was with Dreamer. Third, the match was really boring, which is quite ECW in a lot of ways. Rather dull stuff here and by far the worst thing on the show.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels, and thank goodness as the show needs it. Jericho claimed Michaels is a hypocrite (and was kind of right) and then took out his eye. Now Michaels is back for revenge and to prove that no matter what Jericho does, Michaels will always be better.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

They lock up to start and thankfully drop that in all of two seconds to start hitting each other in the face. Shawn gets the better of things with some chops and knocks Jericho into the corner before going after the leg. The reverse Figure Four has Jericho in early trouble but he’s in the ropes pretty quickly. Shawn stays on the leg and the referee stops things for a second to check on Jericho in the corner.

Jericho is fine enough to send Shawn over the corner and out to the apron, with Shawn favoring his back. The knee is fine enough to hit a triangle dropkick out to the floor before Jericho takes him inside for a double arm crank. With that broken up, Jericho dives into an atomic drop and Shawn drops him with the flying forearm. Shawn nips up but Jericho pulls him straight into the Walls, which is counter you don’t see very often.

This time Shawn makes the rope so Jericho loads up the bulldog, only to get dropped with a clothesline for two. The top rope elbow is broken up but Shawn wins a fight on top and now the elbow connects. Cue Lance Cade to break up the superkick but Shawn blocks the Codebreaker. They slug it out again until Shawn hiptosses him out onto Cade for the big crash. Naturally Shawn is right there with a moonsault onto the two of them and everyone is down again.

Back in and Shawn’s bad eye is busted open, with commentary not being sure when it was cut. Naturally Jericho goes right after the eye and knocks him into the ropes, where Cade gets in the cheap shot. The very bloody Shawn manages to pull him into a crossface but Jericho pulls him into the buckle for the violent escape. The referee wants to stop it but Shawn begs him not to, meaning Jericho is right back on the eye. Shawn is COVERED in blood and does the “pull myself up on the other guy’s tights” spot, only to have Jericho punch him down again and hammer away….until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but there is almost no one better than Shawn at making you think he was dying in front of your eyes. Shawn was trying to fight and was still in there until the injury flared up again, along with Cade offering the distraction. This felt like the big middle piece in a bigger story and they pulled me in with the emotion and hatred. Awesome match and we’re almost certainly not done yet.

We get the emotional exit for Shawn, who has to be helped out.

Edge is really not pleased with HHH for violating his privacy and taking away his personal life. All Edge has left is his professional life and tonight, he will be extra dangerous.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

For the inaugural title but commentary is to busy talking about Edge/Vickie Guerrero. They grapple to the mat to start as commentary compares McCool to softball star Jennie Finch. Natalya wheelbarrow drops her throat first over the top to take over and we hit the surfboard to stay on McCool’s….well various parts. McCool powers out so Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up as well and this time McCool pulls her into the heel hook for the title.

Rating: C-. These two were in the death slot as there was almost no way they were going to be able to follow the previous match. It doesn’t help that the match was almost a Natalya squash until McCool got in her one hold for the win. It’s rather nice for the women on Smackdown to have something to do, but they could use some more blood in the division or it is going to turn old fast.

Post match here is Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying you need to save your ticket stubs because this is the night of Shawn Michaels’ last match. Shawn has a detached retina and that means his career is over. It shows that the good guys win and the wicked are punished and the worst has finally come for Shawn. Jericho was feeling the evil here and it worked.

We recap CM Punk defending the World Title against Batista. Punk won Money In The Bank and used it to become champion, meaning he needs to prove himself worthy. Batista doesn’t seem to be overly intimidated so Punk is extra motivated.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and we go old school with a weapons check. Batista powers him around to start and Punk realizes he might need another plan. Some kicks to the legs slow Batista down but he elbows Punk in the face to cut him off. An enziguri knocks Batista outside and Punk follows him outside with a suicide dive.

Back in and Punk strikes away, only to be run over to give Batista two. The camel clutch goes on to keep Punk in trouble, which is broken up as camel clutches tend to be. Punk gets up a shot to the face in the corner and hits a high crossbody for two. The Batista Bomb is countered but a powerslam isn’t, meaning Punk has to counter the Bomb again.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but can’t hit the GTS, instead settling for the springboard clothesline. The Anaconda Vice (been a minute since Punk used that) is broken up and Batista hits a heck of a clothesline. Batista’s charge hits the post and he falls outside, where he is able to catch a diving Punk with a spinebuster. Cue Kane to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were starting to get somewhere but then just stopped for the DQ ending. This is either setting up a triple threat (erg) or Punk vs. Batista II, but Punk needs to win something on a big stage. It was bad enough that he got the title via Money In The Bank, but he’s lucky to crack the top five stars on Raw. This didn’t help things, though I guess Batista needed to be kept strong. Granted that makes me wonder why he was in the match in the first place, but I can picture Vince’s “oh it’s fine” face from here so we’ll move o.

Post match Kane lays out Punk, Batista, and a production worker. With Kane gone, Batista hits the Batista Bomb on Punk to make things even worse for the champ. Somehow this is a double DQ, despite Kane not touching Punk before the bell.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. With Vince McMahon gone, JBL has declared martial law but Cena isn’t having it. Now they’re going to fight in a parking lot.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is taking place in the parking lot in a circle of cars and JBL shows up in his limo, fighting in most of a suit. There’s no Cena to start so JBL gets on a hood, only to have Cena pop up in another car and ram into him. Cena chokes him with a cord and then slams a car hood onto JBL’s back. Some jumper cables to the crotch set up some electrocution and JBL screams a lot.

JBL is put on another hood and Cena throws a well placed keg, only to hit windshield. With JBL trying to drive away, Cena grabs him for some rams into the horn. JBL fights back to little avail but manages to whip Cena through a car door, knocking it off the hinges. Cena gets punched off a car for two and then sent through the windshield of another for the big crash.

A crowbar shot misses for JBL and Cena slugs away but JBL sends him through a window. With nothing else working, JBL goes to grab some gasoline (with his limo rolling away) and douses one of the cars (with Cena inside). The car is lit on fire and promptly extinguished, with an annoyed looking Cena getting out. JBL goes over to a forklift but Cena is there to send him into another car.

Now Cena gets in the forklift and gores said car, only to lift it up and carry it into the arena. Commentary kicks in as Cena knocks JBL around and plants him with the ProtoBomb onto the stage. Cena loads up the FU but walks JBL over to the edge of the stage, only to take too long as JBL slips off. JBL sends him off the stage and through a windshield for the upset win.

Rating: C-. This was quite the situation and I wasn’t wild on most of it. They had a bunch of slow brawling in the back with car stuff before coming to the arena for a few minutes. JBL had to get a win of some sort but egads this means we’re going to have to hear him talk even more, which is about as painful of a thought as I can imagine. Not exactly great here, but what are you expecting from JBL?

We recap Edge vs. HHH for the latter’s Smackdown World Title. Vickie Guerrero gave Edge the title shot before their wedding but then Edge cheated on her the day before said wedding, with HHH revealing Edge’s, uh, indiscretion. Now it’s about the title, though Edge is more than a bit distracted.

HHH has no regrets over what he did.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

HHH is defending and we get the Big Match Intros with a weapons check. Edge charges right at him and hammers away but gets sent outside. HHH sends him outside and grabs a neck snap across the top. A ram int the buckle has Edge on the floor again but he knocks a diving HHH out of the air. Back in and Edge hits the running shoulder in the corner before sending him outside for a whip into the steps.

A drop onto the announcers’ table keeps HHH’s ribs in trouble and Edge grabs a bodyscissors back inside. HHH fights up but gets dropkicked to the apron, where he sidesteps a spear to send Edge crashing to the floor. Back in and HHH slugs away before they go outside (again) with Edge going into the post. Edge is right back up though and grabs the Impaler on the floor, which means a rather delayed cover gets two.

HHH hits his own DDT for his own two but the Pedigree is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. The spear only hits buckle but Edge’s big boot only hits HHH’s jaw, leaving them both down again. Back up and the spear is countered into the spinebuster to give HHH a much needed breather. The Pedigree is countered again, this time with a ram into the corner. Edge takes him up top for a superplex but here is wedding planner Alicia Fox to send in the title. Cue Vickie Guerrero to take Alicia down and the catfight is on in the ring. The spear hits Vickie by mistake, allowing HHH to grab the Pedigree for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. It was good but they never came close to hitting that really high level. At the same time, it didn’t help that this was more about the Vickie/Edge stuff, with the title just kind of being there on the side. These two feel like they should have had their first big match on a more important show, but at least what they got to do here did work. It just could have been a pretty good bit better.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a perfectly fine show that should have been better than it was. There were some big matches on the card and those matches worked, but the lower card stuff is completely forgettable, even with three new champions being crowned. It’s a show where things happened, but it’s not a show that felt important. Instead, it came off like a “the big one is next time”, which doesn’t make for the most enjoyable event.

 

 

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Smackdown – July 18, 2008: Stiff Trapezoids

Smackdown
Date: July 18, 2008
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and we are getting ready for HHH vs. Edge, which feels something like a major match. On paper it certainly is, but in this case the main story is the continuing saga of Edge and Vickie Guerrero. Naturally things are going well again and now we are probably on the way back towards the wedding. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Edge and Vickie Guerrero’s rocky relationship.

And now, the wedding, with Chavo Guerrero as best man and everything seems to go off without a hitch. The reception is tonight and that’s a bit of a twist on the usual formula.

The wedding party is introduced for the reception, with the rest of La Familia and Alicia Fox waiting on the stage. Chavo welcomes Edge to the family and thinks he’ll be perfect with some of that wild side. Edge isn’t THAT wild any more though, as he never even turns his phone off anymore so he won’t miss anything from Vickie. It’s Chavo’s honor to be the best man and he’ll be there when Edge wins the World Title on Sunday. Chavo even has a mock WWE Magazine with Edge as champion on the cover. Edge says Vickie loves her action so let’s get things started.

Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

This is a preview of the four way Tag Team Title match at the Bash, also involving Jesse and Festus and Miz/John Morrison. Before the match, Edge says he’s tired of seeing Finlay and Hornswoggle cheating every week, but Hawkins and Ryder are too smart for the water guns and such. So is Edge, who will be the guest referee.

Hawkins and Ryder (and Edge) are in wedding clothes and Edge throws the shillelagh out before the bell. Finlay takes Hawkins into the corner to start but Edge breaks it up, which JR doesn’t see as the best move. Edge’s distraction lets Hawkins hammer away and it’s off to Ryder for a neckbreaker. Finlay fights up and brings in Hornswoggle to clean house but Edge hits a spear on Finlay to give Ryder the fast pin.

Post match Edge heads back to the stage for the first dance with Vickie. Cue Big Show to cut in so Edge gives him a handicap match right now.

Big Show vs. Great Khali/MVP/Shelton Benjamin/Vladimir Kozlov

So how did Edge know those four would be ready to go if this was an impromptu match? Show shoves Benjamin down without much effort to start so MVP comes in. That involves nothing physical whatsoever before it’s off to Kozlov. Show shoves him into the corner without much trouble so Khali tags himself in. A quick clothesline drops Khali and everyone else comes in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on, including the chokebomb from Khali.

Post break Vickie is in the ring (you might be noticing a theme here) to throw the bouquet, with a bunch of women at ringside. Michelle McCool and Natalya get in a fight, with Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder getting rid of McCool. Cherry catches the bouquet, which earns her a match against….Vickie. But only after her first match.

Cherry vs. Natalya

They’re both in dresses and Natalya wins in less than 45 seconds.

Vickie Guerrero vs. Cherry

Vickie pins her in five seconds.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. The Brian Kendrick

This is the debut of the new Kendrick, complete with a monster named Ezekiel. Kendrick wants nothing to do with this handshake stuff so Yang takes him down with a headlock takeover. Back up and Yang hits a running clothesline to the floor but an Ezekiel distraction lets Kendrick get in a cheap shot. Kendrick starts in on the arm back inside but charges into an elbow in the corner. A missile dropkick gives Yang two so he goes up for the moonsault, only to have Ezekiel offer a distraction. Kendrick slams him down and hits Sliced Bread #2 for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a good enough debut for the new Kendrick, with Ezekiel playing into the finish like a monster enforcer should. Kendrick’s new attitude worked well and there is some potential for him to do something with this. Yang continues to be a solid hand in the ring and is the right choice to put in a spot like this one.

Edge gets a box of Slim Jim’s, saying he’ll show his spicy side later tonight.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Umaga

Kennedy strikes away to start but Umaga gets in a hard shoulder. An even harder clothesline has Kennedy in more trouble and he runs into an elbow in the corner. This lets Umaga get in his variety of stomping/stepping on Kennedy’s head before grabbing the nerve hold. Kennedy’s comeback is cut off by a knee to the ribs and things slow right back down. We hit the nerve hold again before Umaga drops him one more time as we take a break.

Back with Umaga putting on ANOTHER nerve hold as this match will not get going. Kennedy tries to fight up but his slam attempt falls down and we are off to the fourth nerve hold. With Kennedy daring to do something, Umaga uppercuts him right back down as the fans are dying with every boring second of this mess. Kennedy fights back again and actually gets somewhere with right hands and an enziguri for two. The Mic Check is blocked though and the Samoan Spike finishes for Umaga.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a bad match as much as it was terribly dull. The match was less than fifteen minutes long and it included four different nerve holds. The match just wasn’t interesting and it felt like Umaga was doing less than phoning it in. Kennedy can’t do much when his comeback is cut off time after time so the beatdown can keep going. Really dull stuff here.

Edge is in a new Slim Jim commercial.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jesse and Festus

Non-title. Festus chases Miz and Morrison outside to start as the champs already need a breather. Morrison gets suplexed to start and Festus slams Jesse onto him for two. Back up and Morrison knocks Jesse into the corner as JR compares Morrison to Rick Rude. Jesse gets out of said corner and brings Festus back in to clean house. A Rocket Launcher top rope forearm hits Miz with Morrison having to make a save. Everything breaks down and Miz grabs the Reality Check to pin Jesse.

Rating: C. They kept this one really short and it didn’t do much to get me excited for the four way Tag Team Title match at the Bash. The champs have already beaten one of the teams, so why would I want to see Jesse and Festus getting a title shot? I get not having the champs loses here as they just lost on ECW, but it’s not the best way to go for Sunday.

Raw Rebound.

Great American Bash rundown.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title and they come to the ring at the same time, though only after hitting Chavo Guerrero with a cake. Respect is shown to start and Jeff goes after the arm. That’s reversed into an arm crank from Matt, who knocks Jeff down. Neither can hit a Twist of Fate so Jeff runs up the corner for the Whisper In The Wind to take over. The slingshot dropkick (that always looks good) gets two but he has to break out of the Side Effect. Jeff knocks him down again, only to miss the Swanton. Matt’s moonsault gets two but La Familia runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as they didn’t want to fight each other and the fans weren’t sure what to do here. The smart move here is that they kept this short, as there was only so much you can get out of a match like this one. The action was good but the vibe was off, which was kind of the point of the whole thing anyway.

Post match the beatdown is on and Edge hits a spear to each Hardy.

Post break La Familia is in the ring so Edge can talk about how much he loves Vickie. He even has a special video package of their relationship, including their time in a park on a seesaw and in, uh, more intimate areas. With that out of the way, here is HHH to interrupt, complete with a big gift box. First though, let’s get this out of the way: no he isn’t secretly married to Vickie.

While he didn’t have the time to get a big special video together, he does have a video of his own. We see a video dated yesterday, showing Alicia Fox coming to see Edge with Vickie nowhere to be seen. Edge is worried about some wedding details so they go over some planning, including food options (uh, that should probably be decided earlier than the day before the wedding). HHH pauses the video and thinks Edge is a bit anxious, so let’s skip to the good part.

Back to the video, with Edge talking about how a white rose symbolizes his love for Vickie. He’s so attracted to scents, including whatever perfume Fox is wearing. She’s not wearing any perfume (cut to a VERY displeased Vickie in the arena) and Edge touches her arm, saying his trapezoid (Fox: “Your what?”) is locking up on him. A slightly nervous looking Fox rubs his neck (Edge: “I think it’s getting a little stiffer.”) but HHH pauses things again.

Edge explains that his neck was flaring up, with HHH saying lots of guys have women massage their necks when their wives aren’t there. An angry Edge sends the troops after HHH, who pulls out gift #2: a sledgehammer. HHH: “It’s one size fits all and there’s plenty for everyone!”

We go back to the video, which now sees Edge rubbing Fox’s back. Edge suggests taking the bra off (Fox isn’t sure) and mentions he went lingerie shopping yesterday, but there was nothing in Vickie’s size. He was told to go to the store for “bigger people” and talks about how big Vickie’s underwear really is. HHH stops the tape again and says this is awkward. He says he didn’t watch this yet, but it kills gift #3: some rather large underwear. HHH: “I can always park my car under it.”

We go back to the video where Edge takes off Fox’s glasses and…she’s going to leave. Edge stops her and they kiss, with Fox certainly approving. Back in the arena, Vickie glares at Edge, Fox looks like she’s about to cry, and Bam Neely is talking to Chavo Guerrero about something. Vickie screams a lot as Edge leaves to end the show. I’m going to assume they ran out of things to air here, as this went nearly 20 minutes and they easily could have accomplished the same thing in half the time.

Overall Rating: C-. It would be an understatement to call this a one note show as the Edge/Vickie stuff went from start to finish, with the villains sitting on the stage almost throughout the night. The wrestling was nothing special with that Umaga vs. Kennedy match being especially dull. Other than the Tag Team Title match, there is nothing important but Edge vs. HHH at the pay per view on the Smackdown side. Pretty weak show this time, though the reaction to Edge kissing Fox (once they got there) was good.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – July 15, 2008: Save Us Guest Stars

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 15, 2008
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz

It’s been a bit since I’ve done one of these but we are in the middle of Mark Henry’s monster reign as ECW champion. He is scheduled to defend against Tommy Dreamer on Sunday at the Great American Bash and that match is going to need some more build to make things interesting. Like Tony Atlas perhaps. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Tony Atlas joining forces with Mark Henry as his new manager, which is certainly an interesting choice.

Opening sequence.

Tazz is in the ring and brings out Mark Henry and Tony Atlas for a chat. Tazz brings up the title match at the Great American Bash, but first he wants to know what happened with these two last week. Atlas says he’s a legend who doesn’t carry bags, but he’ll do it for the World’s Strongest Champion. To prove how strong Henry is, we have a demonstration, involving some frying pans.

After establishing that the pans are normal, Atlas wants someone to come out here and try to bend it. A fan attempts to do it but can’t get anywhere, so Henry does it instead. Cue Tommy Dreamer (Adamle: “Here comes the Dream Machine.”) but he’s not here to fight. Instead he would rather try to bend the other pan, which of course he can’t. He can however hit Henry in the head with the pan before leaving like a wise man would.

Post break, Teddy Long ejects Dreamer from the arena. Oddly enough, Dreamer is stunned.

Mike Knox vs. Shannon Moore

Knox sends him into the corner to start and drops Moore with a hard clothesline. There’s a backbreaker and Knox bends Moore’s back over the knee. Moore comes back up and kicks away, setting up a top rope hurricanrana for two. Not that it matters as Knox is back with the swinging faceplant for the fast pin.

Raw Rebound.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Evan Bourne

Bam Neely is here with Guerrero and we get quick comments from Bourne, who wants to show he is on Chavo’s level. Chavo grabs a headlock to start but Bourne armdrags him down and hits a dropkick. The spinning kick to the face set up an armbar but Chavo knocks Bourne off the top.

The nasty crash has Bourne in trouble and Chavo belly to bellies him for two. We hit the chinlock but Bourne fights up and grabs a middle rope armdrag. The standing moonsault gives Bourne two but Chavo is back up with a spinning backbreaker. Chavo’s Vader Bomb only hits knees though and it’s the shooting star press to give Bourne the pin.

Rating: C+. This was good stuff with Chavo being a nice choice to give Bourne a clean win. Bourne is someone with some impressive high flying but he has the strikes to make it that much better. He certainly feels like one of the better additions to the ECW roster at the moment and that is a good thing to see after some less than successful attempts.

Mark Henry and Tony Atlas interrupt Colin Delaney talking to Tiffany and tell him he has nothing to worry about. Then Henry gives him a bearhug and tosses him around.

Video on CM Punk vs. Kane on Raw, with Batista having to make the save.

Great American Bash rundown.

Hardys vs. Miz/John Morrison

Non-title and we’re joined in progress with Miz clotheslining Matt. That doesn’t get very far as Matt’s hiptoss gets two and we hit the headlock. Jeff comes in but gets taken into the wrong corner, where Morrison starts working on the arm. That’s broken up just as quickly as Jeff hits the legdrop between the legs and the Spin Cycle gives Matt two. Miz has to offer a distraction and hit a clothesline to save Morrison from the Twist of Fate, showing how versatile he really is.

The chinlock goes on before it’s back to Morrison to strike away. Matt Russian legsweeps his way to freedom though and it’s back to Jeff to pick up the pace. The slingshot dropkick hits Miz in the corner, as does Poetry In Motion for good measure. It’s too early for the Swanton though as Miz and Morrison bail to the floor. We take a break and come back with Jeff fighting out of a reverse chinlock….eventually. Miz cuts off the tag bid with a backbreaker for two before grabbing a chinlock of his own. That gives me a chance to marvel a bit at how far Miz has come. Yeah he still looks like a goof, but he’s an accomplished goof.

Then said accomplished goof misses a charge into the corner, meaning Morrison has to cut off another tag attempt. Jeff manages to knock Morrison down but Matt is pulled off the apron again, meaning the beating continues. This time Miz ties him in the Tree of Woe for some choking, only to have Jeff get up and hit the Whisper In The Wind.

Now the tag can bring in Matt to clean house, including a clothesline/bulldog combination. Morrison gets in a shot of his own but Starship Pain is easily broken up. A Razor’s Edge powerbomb plants Morrison for two and the Side Effect drops Miz. Morrison knees Matt down but Jeff hits a Swanton onto his back to break it up and give Matt the pin.

Rating: B-. This got some time and felt like a big match, even if it was more for the North Carolina fans than anything else. That being sad, it’s the best match on the show and that makes for a good main event. The Hardys still feel like a big enough deal and them going over the Tag Team Champions in a long match doesn’t feel like the biggest stretch. Odds are we’ll get a title rematch out of this and that should be a good one.

Overall Rating: C+. They kept things fairly simple here, with the main event and the opener being long enough to eat up a lot of the show’s time. The best thing is the show didn’t feel long and helped build up Evan Bourne, which is something the show needs. ECW hasn’t been very good lately but maybe things are starting to turn around. I wouldn’t bet on it, but I’ll take the slightest hope where I can.

 

 

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Smackdown – July 11, 2008: The Not So Wedding Show

Smackdown
Date: July 11, 2008
Location: River Center, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley

It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and I’m barely remembering what we’re dealing with at the moment. HHH is ready to defend the Smackdown World Title against Edge at the Great American Bash, though Edge and Vickie Guerrero are having some troubles, to the point where their wedding is off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Edge’s recent issues, from losing the World Title to CM Punk to his problems with Vickie Guerrero. Edge thinking that yelling at his boss/fiance was a good idea wasn’t his greatest moment.

Here is- Edge to get things going. He has had a week to think about what he said to Vickie Guerrero last week….and the wedding is STILL off. He’s happier without Vickie because he’s better than her. At the Great American Bash, he can prove everyone wrong by winning the World Title again.

He has won more titles than anyone else in this industry and he will prove how great he is again at the Great American Bash when he beats HHH. Cue Vickie Guerrero (Vickie: “Excuse me, baby.”) to say the wedding being canceled isn’t her loss. Vickie gives him a match tonight: a No DQ match against the Big Show. Edge says he isn’t afraid and promises to make Show a loser like her. Vickie has his mic cut off.

Video on Maria.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Matt takes him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. Back up and Matt grabs a headlock for some careful grinding. Benjamin sends him into the corner and hits a neckbreaker for two. The neck crank goes on as Benjamin certainly has a target so far. That’s broken up and Benjamin misses the Stinger Splash, allowing Hardy to start the comeback.

It’s too early for the Twist of Fate so Hardy settles for a corner clothesline/bulldog. The top rope elbow to the back of the head gives Matt two but Benjamin is right back with the exploder for the same. Matt is back up to try the Twist of Fate but Benjamin grabs the rope and hits…well it was supposed to be Paydirt but Matt fell the wrong way, making it kind of a jumping clothesline. Either way, it gives Benjamin the upset pin.

Rating: C. The ending was a surprise and it was even a clean pin, which doesn’t make for the best future for Matt and the title. For now though, Benjamin getting a push isn’t a bad thing, but he couldn’t have put his feet on the ropes here? Nice job on the surprise pin, though I’m not wild on the way they got there.

The Edgeheads are in Vickie Guerrero’s office and say the three of them don’t deserve Edge’s abuse. Instead, they want to face Jesse and Festus, with Vickie making the match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Domino

MVP is on commentary and gets a few jabs from Kennedy during the pre-match chat. Kennedy takes him down to start and hits a corner clothesline, with Domino bailing out to the floor. Back in and Domino manages a quick slam and legdrop but Kennedy fights up again. Some elbows to the face and a running boot in the corner have Domino in trouble, setting up the Mic Check to give Kennedy the pin.

Rating: C. They kept this short here and that is how it should have gone as the point was for MVP and Kennedy to be in the same place, likely with something happening after the match. Both of them could use this feud as they could both go or a boost. Domino does not seem long for this place, as he could not have been more of a jobber here.

Post match Umaga runs in and wrecks Kennedy.

Chavo Guerrero, with Bam Neely, gives Edge a pep talk and says he’s going to give Vickie Guerrero a piece of his mind.

Post break Chavo offers Vickie that piece of his mind….which is about how horrible Edge is and how the Guerreros have to stick together. Vickie doesn’t buy it (my goodness intelligence!) and gives Chavo a match with HHH instead.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Non-title. Finlay and Morrison start things off as JR goes on a mini rant about Edge and Vickie’s drama. Miz’s cheap shot earns him a flip over the top so Finlay beats up both of them at once. Hornswoggle comes in for some Stunners (JR: “Next thing you know he’ll be drinking beer!”) but a double dropkick cuts him off. An enziguri hits a kneeling Morrison though and it’s Finlay coming in to clean house. The Celtic Cross connects but Miz makes the save. That earns him a shillelagh shot, followed by the Tadpole Splash to give Hornswoggle the pin.

Rating: C. Nothing is getting a ton of time this week and that doesn’t exactly make me interested in seeing the longer form rematch. This probably sets up a pay per view title match and at least there was some cheating to get us to the rematch. It’s still a bad night for the champs though and that isn’t the best thing to see.

Video on Jeff Hardy’s Mission: Impossible themed photo shoot as he chases the World Title.

HHH vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Bam Neely is here with Chavo. HHH fights out of a headlock to start and elbows him in the face, which does not sit well with Chavo early on. Chavo’s arm wringing gets him punched in the face and HHH starts in on the arm. Chavo comes back with some right hands and Neely’s cheap shot sets up a crossface chickenwing of all things. That’s broken up so HHH hits the running knee. The spinebuster cuts Chavo off again and, after decking Neely, HHH grabs the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. Well at least the champion won for once, even if it was in another short match. Then again, it’s nice to have a showcase for the World Champion for a change as you don’t get to see that often enough. Chavo getting punished for trying to play Vickie and Edge at the same time was nice too and the match went well, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Michelle McCool/Cherry vs. Natalya/Maryse

Michelle takes Maryse down to start as Foley explains how to pronounce Maryse. A dropkick gives Michelle two and it’s off to Cherry for a Hennig necksnap. Maryse runs over to bring in Natalya, who easily slams Cherry. Natalya gets in a kick to the leg and grabs the Sharpshooter for the fast pin. Did they suddenly get a go home cue or something?

Post match Natalya beats up Michelle and suplexes her on the floor.

Jesse & Festus vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Jesse slugs away at Hawkins to start and stomps him down in the corner. Ryder comes in but so does Festus with the latter getting to clean house. Festus clears the ring and Hawkins and Ryder just take the countout.

Post match the bell has turned Festus into a zombie again so Hawkins and Ryder beat down Jesse. They were being scientific….until Jesse rings the bell so Festus can wreck the villains.

Video on HHH.

Stevie Richards vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Kozlov has gained entrance music and runs him over with a shoulder to start. Some knees to the ribs and a fireman’s carry put Richards down and we hit the bodyscissors. Back up and Richards hammers away, only to get headbutted down for the pin.

Edge yells at Chavo Guerrero until the Edgeheads come in. The argument keeps going until Vickie Guerrero comes in. If anyone else tries to help Edge, or if Edge walks out on the match, they’re fired.

Raw Rebound.

Great American Bash rundown.

Edge vs. Big Show

No DQ and Vickie Guerrero is watching from the stage. Show starts fast and takes him to the floor for a ram into the barricade. The announcers’ table takes too long to load up though and Edge gets in a quick spear as we take an early break. Back with Show cutting off a kendo stick shot and throwing Edge into the steps and over the barricade without much effort. Edge comes back with a bulldog off of said barricade and they both get a breather.

A kendo stick to Show’s head lets them go back inside, where Edge’s choke manages to take Show down again. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex but the chokeslam is countered into a DDT. Edge brings in a chair but charges a bit too hard, allowing Show to punch it into his face. For some reason that doesn’t know Edge silly and he’s back with a low blow. The Conchairto is loaded up but Show is up with a chokeslam. Show loads up his own Conchairto, only to have Vickie say stop the match. The bell rings and Vickie comes in to check on Edge.

Rating: C+. This felt like a house show street fight and that is probably something they have done more than once. The ending was more important though and that is going to lead to the next step in the rather long Edge/Vickie saga. Putting someone against Big Show is a pretty standard punishment, so everything here made sense, even if it wasn’t an instant classic.

Edge and Vickie reconcile to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The ending is the big story here as there wasn’t much else on the rest of the show. They did well enough with Edge and Vickie, but that’s about all there is on here, with even HHH not feeling that important. HHH vs. Edge/Vickie is a big time feud and having it take place at a mid level pay per view like the Great American Bash is certainly a weird choice. Smackdown needs another good story though as there just isn’t much going on around here.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi – July 8, 2008: Knock Knock

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 8, 2008
Location: River Center, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Adamle

Things are changing a bit around here as we are firmly in the Mark Henry era. Last week saw Henry wrecking Colin Delaney, which might earn him the ire of Tommy Dreamer. In addition, we saw the debut of Atlas Ortiz, which really was not the most thrilling start. Maybe the second week can go better so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are the Miz and John Morrison for a chat. They introduce themselves, with some jokes about hurricanes wrecking things around here. With that fairly disturbing line out of the way, they say they want new challengers for the Tag Team Titles so here is Finlay to interrupt. Finlay doesn’t think people want to see them run their mouths, but rather someone come out there and shut those mouths. Hornswoggle sneaks in with a water gun and the champs are quickly cleared out.

Finlay vs. Miz

We’re joined in progress with Finlay taking Miz down and doing it again with some uppercuts. A headlock on the mat has Miz in trouble and Adamle not being clear on who Finlay is facing. They go outside with Miz being rammed into the apron, followed by some stomping inside.

An atomic drop has Miz in more trouble and Finlay beats on him in the ring skirt to make it even worse. A cheap shot lets Miz ram him into the apron though and we hit the chinlock. Miz drops a leg and bends Finlay’s arm around the rope, setting up the logical armbar. The corner clothesline connects but Hornswoggle offers a distraction, allowing Finlay to grab the Celtic Cross for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Finlay is the guy to put in there if you need to make someone look good and that was the case here. Miz is still nowhere near ready to be a featured star so having Finlay out there to walk him through a match is a good idea. That being said, Miz has come a long, long way in a relatively short time and that deserves a lot of praise.

Teddy Long and Tiffany are in Teddy’s office when Armando Estrada interrupts. Long isn’t happy with the lack of respect but asks what Estrada wants. That would be a contract, but instead Long gives him a match with the newest ECW star. Cue a man behind Estrada, who says knock knock. Apparently his name is Braden Walker, and he’s going to knock Estrada’s head off. That would be former TNA star Chris Harris under a really stupid name.

Raw Rebound.

Armando Estrada vs. Braden Walker

Walker snaps off an armdrag to start but Estrada drives him into the corner without much trouble. Walker charges into an elbow to the face though and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long so Estrada elbows him down and stomps away, setting up a waistlock. Some slow stomps set up another waistlock as you can hear some BORING chants pop up. Walker fights up with a running clothesline and a full nelson slam gets two. A high crossbody, with Walker almost landing on Estrada’s shoulder, is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. Somehow, Walker might have made Atlas Ortiz look good last week. Walker was slow, sluggish and had some very lame offense. He might not have been a top star during his time in TNA, but he was a lot better than this. I’m not sure what went wrong here, but this was rather horrible.

Teddy Long runs into Tony Atlas and wants to treat him well tonight. Atlas can even be the ring announcer for the main event. With that out of the way, Mark Henry comes in to say what a fan he was of Atlas growing up. Henry mocks Atlas’ 650lb bench press and doesn’t shake his hand before leaving.

Atlas Ortiz brags about being undefeated.

Video on Matt Hardy.

Tommy Dreamer is giving Colin Delaney a pep talk when Tony Atlas walks in. Dreamer talks about Atlas mentoring him and pleasantries are exchanged.

Evan Bourne vs. Nunzio

We get a voiceover from Bourne about how great of a high flier he is, but we don’t get any special kind of video so it’s quite the odd visual. Bourne takes him into the corner to start and snaps off a headscissors into a jumping kick to the head. Nunzio gets in a backbreaker and bends Bourne’s back over the knee for a bit. Bourne is back up with a kick to the head into something like a standing Sliced Bread. The shooting star press finishes Nunzio.

Rating: C. Well it was better than Braden Walker. Other than the ending, this wasn’t much of a showcase for Bourne, though that jumping kick to the head was good. The positive for Bourne is that he is by far the best of the newcomers so far and that should be enough to keep him in good graces until he gets something more important to do.

Mark Henry runs into Tony Atlas again and hears he needs a payday. How about Atlas carries his bags? Atlas thinks about it.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Mark Henry

Non-title with Tony Atlas as guest ring announcer and he introduces Henry from “Sillsville” as opposed to “Silsbee” Texas. Colin Delaney is here with Dreamer as well. Dreamer slugs away to start before Henry hits a standing body block. The comeback attempt is swatted away and Henry drops the rather large elbow. Delaney grabs Henry’s leg so the chase is on, with Atlas asking Henry to leave him alone….and then sending Delaney into the announcers’ table. Dreamer goes outside for the save and gets World’s Strongest Slammed onto the floor for the double countout.

Atlas announces Henry as the winner to end the show as Adamle thinks Dreamer invited Atlas to be ringside for the main event (Tazz thankfully ignores him).

Overall Rating: C-. The opener was good and the main event angle was…well it was something. Other than though, this was a rather weak show, with the new stars ranging from pretty good to dreadful. ECW is feeling like even more of a nothing show as WWE is now putting its newcomers on here rather than people you might want to see. Lame show, and I don’t see that getting much better.

 

 

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Smackdown – July 4, 2008: They Did It Better Than Raw

Smackdown
Date: July 4, 2008
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Mick Foley, Jim Ross

We’re into the new reality around here as both Night Of Champions and the full Draft are done. There is only one World Champion after Edge lost his title to CM Punk on Raw, meaning HHH is once again on top. Other than that, we should get to see how some of the new stars mesh with what’s left of the old. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night Of Champions if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at the 4th of July and talks about how the wrestlers get to live the American Dream with live action fireworks.

Opening sequence.

We open with MVP’s VIP Lounge. MVP wastes no time in bringing out his guest, the still World Champion HHH. After a nice hello, MVP congratulates HHH on his win at Night Of Champions and welcomes him to Smackdown. It’s been a long time since HHH has been here but he is already a big fan of MVP. HHH appreciates the bling and the Power Ranger outfit that MVP wears when he wrestles.

MVP says it’s cutting edge technology and Olympians wear it to compete. HHH says that sounds like a performance enhancer and MVP might get thirty days off. With that shrugged off, MVP brings up that he makes more money than HHH, who could see how that would make some people angry. Not that it matters as he would rather be a 12 time World Champion rather than the biggest waste of money in Smackdown history.

HHH is out here to get a rub from MVP though and he has some special footage. MVP doesn’t like that, so he says let’s play footage instead. We get a recap of CM Punk winning the Raw World Title and retaining it over JBL in the main event, followed by a brawl with security to end the show. Back in the arena, HHH says Edge got Punked out and MVP says Edge got his punk card pulled.

The jokes continue until Vickie Guerrero, back in the wheelchair, interrupts. HHH wishes her well on her upcoming wedding. HHH: “Imagine: marrying the boss to get ahead. Who thinks up that kind of stuff?” HHH thinks she and Edge just need to go to Vegas because he knows a great drive thru place. You don’t even need to be conscious!

Vickie brags about Edge’s success against Batista, but HHH says looking at her, there are things Edge would do that HHH would never do. Vickie doesn’t get what he means but eventually tells him to shut up. Edge is on his way here and speaking of Edge, HHH will be defending the title against him at the Great American Bash.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria vs. Cherry vs. Maryse vs. Kelly Kelly

Star on a pole match with the winner facing Natalya, on commentary and now a redhead, for the Divas Title. A quick brawl to start leaves Kelly as the only one standing but Victoria knocks her off the pole. Cherry cuts Victoria off before Maryse has to knock Michelle down. A double electric chair drops Maryse and Cherry catapults Kelly into the corner. Victoria adds the slingshot flipping legdrop to Cherry and goes up. That’s cut off as well so Michelle kicks Maryse down and wins.

Rating: D+. What are you supposed to say about this? It’s the kind of match that is all about one thing and not exactly having much to do with wrestling. This felt like something out of another company and it really doesn’t fit with what they’ve been trying with the women in recent weeks. Michelle finally gets put into the title match, which is long overdue as she has been the obvious pick for a long time now.

Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder come in to see Vickie Guerrero, who wants to know where Edge is. They don’t know, so she asks them about Edge losing the title on Raw. Vickie blames them both and gives them a match with Jesse and Festus. That’s a punishment?

Edge arrives and a lot of people look at him in silence.

Video on Vladimir Kozlov.

Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder vs. Jesse And Festus

Festus is dressed as Uncle Sam. Hawkins and Ryder jump Festus to start and are quickly shrugged off, setting up a middle rope Hart Attack. Jesse has to fight out of a double team in the corner but gets pulled into another corner to begin the beating. Hawkins grabs a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the neck crank. Jesse is able to get over to the corner for the tag to Festus so house can be cleaned in a hurry. With Hawkins sent to the floor, a seated senton and the fireman’s carry flapjack (with a great sell from Ryder) finishes for Festus.

Rating: C. This was in fact a Jesse and Festus match and that’s about as good as it’s going to get for them. The team isn’t overly interesting and the one joke of Festus losing it at the bell has long since used up its usefulness. It’s not like Hawkins and Ryder are great, but they’re a heck of a lot better than the other choice.

Post match Edge comes to the ring and beats on the catatonic Festus as Hawkins and Ryder make Jesse watch. Edge throws in a nasty chair shot to the head and stares down at Festus.

Post match Vickie Guerrero tries to calm Edge down but even the Great American Bash match doesn’t make it better. Vickie mentions giving him permission and Edge loses it, saying she doesn’t understand what is going on. He has been at this for sixteen years to the day but Vickie cuts him off, saying she is still his boss. She calls him a fool and Edge storms out.

Jeff Hardy vs. John Morrison

Hardy shoves him down to start so Morrison grabs the arm to slow things down. Morrison gets sent outside and a slingshot dive….doesn’t launch as Hardy head fakes him instead, setting up a dive off the apron instead. Back in and Morrison hits a running knee to the face for two but the Flying Chuck misses. Hardy’s slingshot dropkick in the corner is broken up though and Morrison drops him out to the floor in a crash.

We take a break and come back with Morrison working on an armbar before blocking a Whisper In The Wind attempt. The armbar goes back on, allowing commentary to talk about Edge and Vickie Guerrero. Morrison cuts off a comeback attempt by sending him shoulder first into the post but Hardy counters a dive with a sitout powerbomb. Hardy fights up with some forearms and a cradle gets two. The Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy two but Morrison Pele kicks him on top. The Moonlight Drive doesn’t work for Morrison though and it’s the Swanton to give Hardy the pin.

Rating: B-. This was the “Hardy is here and he’s good on his own” match of the show. It worked well with these two showing the same chemistry they’ve had before, with Hardy showcasing his ability to fight from behind. Morrison feels good on his own too, making for a nice match.

Video on Maria.

Umaga vs. Funaki

Umaga wastes no time in knocking him into the corner and a superkick puts Funaki down as well. Foley even goes inter promotional by saying this is like Mark Henry beating up Colin Delaney on ECW. The running hip attack in the corner sets up the Samoan Spike for the squash pin.

Edge is ranting to Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder when he is told that Vickie Guerrero wants to see him. He goes to Vickie’s office, where she goes on about how she is going to be in the wheelchair with back problems for life (keeping in mind that she was standing earlier tonight). Edge says not to talk to her in that gibberish, so Vickie screams at him to GET OUT. That’s exactly what he does, with the door closing behind him. Edge walks a bit, then turns around and tries to get back in, but the door is locked.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and Bam Neely is here with Chavo. It’s a brawl to start with Matt running Kennedy over but Kennedy is back up with a kick to the face. Kennedy clotheslines Chavo in the corner but Benjamin is back up with a kick of his own. Chavo is back up to take Benjamin down, only to have Benjamin toss him into the air for a nasty crash. Matt and Kennedy put the other two down before knocking each other down as we take a break.

Back with Kennedy cleaning house as Foley compares this to Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton. Everyone but Chavo is caught in a Tower Of Doom but Benjamin is up to suplex Chavo down. Neely distracts Benjamin though and Chavo gets to Three Amigos Matt. The frog splash gets two as Kennedy makes the save. Matt hits a quick Twist of Fate on Chavo before dropping Kennedy onto Neely. Benjamin comes in and gets Twist of Fated onto Chavo, with Matt pinning the latter to retain.

Rating: B-. I believe they call this a sprint, as they were packing in whatever they could for about ten minutes. The 4th of July aspect meant that this more or less had to be the main event and it was a good match as a result. Matt retaining is a fine way to go too, even if getting the US Title off of ECW is not a bad idea.

Here is Edge, without music, for a chat. Edge says this will be his first and last statement about what happened on Raw. He was attacked twice on Raw and now he is going to get the World Title back at the Great American Bash. Ever since he came in here tonight, he was feeling the disrespect, including from Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder, who should have been trying to make him happy.

He didn’t even receive the support of Vickie Guerrero, who should be there for him in his time of need. Therefore, Edge is going to let us in on some dirty little secrets, but here is a screeching Vickie (walking) to interrupt. She asks what Edge is doing so Edge walks up to her. Edge says the wedding is off, leaving Vickie to scream a lot and take off her ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good enough here (ignoring the stupid women’s match) and having Edge’s breakdown throughout the show made it work better. They have at least a main event set for the Great American bash and there is time to set up the rest of the card. Nice show here, as they didn’t have a bad lull after getting the new roster set up.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – July 1, 2008: Wrong Way?

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 1, 2008
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz

We’re all done with the Draft, including the Supplemental Draft, and we also have a new ECW Champion in Mark Henry. ECW needs a new direction and having someone to chase the monster champ could be a good way to go. Other than that though, it should be interesting to see what they go with from here. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night Of Champions if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Mark Henry beating Big Show and champion Kane to win the ECW Title.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mark Henry to get things going. Henry brags about his dominance and proclaims himself as the savior of ECW. Cue Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney, with Henry saying he doesn’t like being interrupted. Dreamer issues a challenge to Henry, who tells both of them to get out of here. We hear about Delaney’s toughness before Dreamer goes into the history of the ECW Title. Dreamer points out Tazz breaking his neck for the title and how much of a legacy it carries. Henry says Dreamer has to earn a title shot, but only if Delaney can beat him. Delaney accepts and Henry promises to wreck him tonight.

Matt Hardy/Hornswoggle/Finlay vs. Miz/John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero

Bam Neely is here with the villains. Matt and Miz start things off with Matt winning the standard fight over arm control. The armbar goes on until Miz fights up and drives him into the corner. A front facelock cuts Miz off though and it’s off to Finlay, who atomic drops Morrison. Chavo comes in to hammer away but Finlay ties him up in the ring skirts and unloads with forearms. Hornswoggle gets tossed onto Chavo and we take a break.

Back with Matt fighting out of a chinlock but getting dragged back into the wrong corner. Morrison adds a slingshot elbow and we hit the chinlock. Miz gets his own chinlock before it’s back to Morrison for the third chinlock in about two minutes. Matt fights up and hits a Side Effect to escape, allowing the tag back to Finlay. Everything breaks down and Hornswoggle hits a Tadpole Splash on Chavo, setting up the Celtic Cross for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad six man here as Chavo is starting to be treated a bit less seriously around here. Finlay being used in his standard tough guy role works well, even with Hornswoggle there to keep things light. Matt, Miz and Morrison feel like they should be bigger deals, but having them involved with this did add some star power.

Raw Rebound.

Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney have a pep talk.

Armando Estrada interrupts Teddy Long talking to Tiffany and someone with a lot of hair. Estrada wants to know about his contract status but Long says don’t interrupt. Long introduces Atlas Ortiz, part of the new Superstar Initiative. Estrada can face Ortiz next.

Armando Estrada vs. Atlas Ortiz

They go to the mat to start with Atlas grabbing a headlock. Said headlock goes on for a good while until Estrada fights up and starts working on the back. A few forearms set up an armbar as this isn’t exactly high speed stuff. Estrada pulls him down by the hair and the armbar goes on again. Back up and Ortiz snaps off an armdrag before a dropkick gets two. A backslide gives Ortiz the pin.

Rating: D+. I remember watching Ortiz back in OVW and he wasn’t interesting there either. Ortiz looks unique and unfortunately that’s about the extent of his positives. If this was supposed to be the match that makes me want to see more of Ortiz, WWE has missed pretty badly, as this was a lot of laying around before the most basic offense finished it off. If Ortiz is their best prospect, they’re in big trouble.

Colin Delaney vs. Mark Henry

Non-title but if Delaney wins, Tommy Dreamer (at ringside) gets an ECW Title shot. Delaney gets powered into the corner to start and a hair takedown makes it worse. A few shots to the head and chest have little effect on Henry, who gorilla press drops him. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes Delaney in a hurry.

Overall Rating: C. Well, it was certainly different, and that does at least address one of the biggest issues this show has had in recent weeks. That being said, Henry beating up Delaney feels like something we’ve been seeing for months now and Ortiz was hardly an interesting new direction. I like that they tried, but it didn’t exactly go in the right direction.

 

 

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