Impact Wrestling – October 26, 2017: Three Out of Seven is Really Bad

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 26, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

We’re back in Orlando and whatever other city/country they’re using material from this week. That’s the major issue at this point: a lot of Impact isn’t so much from Orlando but rather from all over the world. It’s nice once in a while but it’s mainly just showing how horrible the Impact Zone is. Let’s get to it.

Dan Lambert, Bobby Lashley, Moose and Stephan Bonnar arrived earlier today.

Johnny Mundo arrived earlier.

Opening sequence.

We recap Team AAA vs. Team Impact.

From AAA in Mexico.

James Storm/Ethan Carter III vs. El Hijo de Fantasma/Texano

It’s a brawl to start with Fantasma being double teamed in the corner. Texano pulls Carter outside and posts him as the brawling continues. Storm beats on Fantasma against the barricade as Carter stomps on Texano inside. The announcers recap why this feud started, which all began when Hector Guerrero didn’t vote for Fantasma in a Grand Championship match? Remember that? Remember the Grand Championship? Remember Hector Guerrero being involved in this feud? You shouldn’t, as he hasn’t been mentioned since that initial appearance.

Rating: D. This was barely a match and was much more about advancing Fantasma vs. Texano, which is a feud I didn’t even know existed coming into this show. The story continues to be a combination of uninteresting and bad here as apparently it’s over that Grand Championship match from a few weeks back. I’m sure this is leading to a six man tag at Bound For Glory, even though there’s next to no interest in this whole thing (which to be fair could apply to the company as a whole at this point).

Eli Drake is on the phone when he runs into Dutch Mantel. Apparently Eli is missing media appearances and marketing calls so Dutch wants to know what’s up. Drake blows them off and says those things aren’t important before returning to the phone. It’s not clear who he’s talking to but Drake thinks it’s time they came back.

After a break, Jim Cornette, Scott D’Amore and Mantel yell about Drake. Scott leaves to make sure they have a show tonight. Cornette comes up with an idea: if Drake loses the title, this whole thing might work itself out.

From Border City Wrestling in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

GFW Tag Team Titles: OVE vs. Phil Atlas/Brent Banks

OVE is defending and we’re joined in progress with Dave and Atlas coming in off hot tags. Phil is taken into the corner and kicked in the face for his efforts. Jake gets two off a dropkick as the announcers talk about almost anything else. Not that it matters as Brent comes in again with a dropkick of his own and a front flip into a nip up. Dave sends the champs into each other but Banks hits a falling cutter. A top rope elbow gives Banks two but it’s the spike tombstone to Brent to retain the titles at 5:10 shown.

Rating: C-. Who are Phil Atlas and Brent Banks and why does GFW think I’m interested in them? Better yet, what is Border City Wrestling? AAA and Pro Wrestling Noah are big deals but the Crash and Border City aren’t exactly household names, or really even big time indies. They’re just promotions that are included occasionally and it’s not like this is outstanding action or anything like that. It’s another match that doesn’t do anything for me and that’s been the case since these international matches started.

Another long recap of Moose/Bonnar vs. American Top Team. By the way we’re 24 minutes into the show and we haven’t seen any wrestlers in the Impact Zone arena.

Drake won’t do an interview and texts someone instead.

From Pro Wrestling Noah in Tokyo.

GHC Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Naomichi Marafuji

Edwards is defending. Feeling out process to start as they run the ropes with neither being able to get much of an advantage. It’s a standoff and we’re clipped to Eddie hitting a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. An enziguri knocks Marafuji off the top but he comes back with a no sold Saito suplex. A hard shot to the chest drops Marafuji and we’re clipped to Edwards not being able to hit a suplex.

Clipped again to Marafuji kicking Eddie in the head to stop a dive. They head outside with the pads being pulled back. Eddie can’t hit a piledriver on the concrete but settles for a superkick instead. Another clip takes us to Eddie hitting a nasty suicide dive. Clipped again to Eddie getting piledriven on the apron (good looking crash) and yet again to Marafuji hitting a top rope C4 for two.

Another clip has Eddie grabbing a super hurricanrana, followed by another clip into the Boston Knee Party getting two. A tiger bomb gets two more and it’s an Emerald Fusion to retain Eddie’s title at 6:36 shown. Way too many clips to fairly rate this but this looked to be a heck of a match, which ran about twenty six minutes in full.

Marafuji shakes his hand post match.

OVE is sick of LAX and has a friend to help them out. We don’t see his face but he gives a thumbs up, which switches to a thumbs down. That’s the pose of Sami Callihan, who has been rumored to be coming to the promotion.

Drake says he doesn’t have time to talk but is ready for his tag match against Johnny Impact and Garza Jr.

Laurel Van Ness is in the arena with two glasses of champagne. She’s the first GFW talent in the arena tonight and we’re 47 minutes into the show.

Back to Border City Wrestling in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

Petey Williams vs. Idris Abraham vs. Tarik vs. Kiyomiya

One fall to a fall and it’s a brawl to start with Kiyomiya getting knocked down, setting up a brawl between Abraham and Tarik. Abraham gets put in the Tree of Woe for O Canada and we’re clipped to Petey hitting running corner dropkicks. Petey dives onto Kiyomiya and grabs a crucifix for two on Tarik.

Back in and Abraham starts cleaning house with some forearms, only to have Tarik send him into the corner for a running elbow. What looks to be a Cross Rhodes is broken up and it’s Tarik hitting Ricochet’s Benadryller for two on Kiyomiya. Petey comes back in with a bicycle kick and it’s the Canadian Destroyer to put Tarik away at 5:55.

Rating: C. Pretty standard four way match and I’m not even going to bother making the same complaints that I’ve made so far. The other problem here is this was a way to showcase Petey Williams. That’s all well and good, but is there NO ONE else that could get this kind of a spotlight? I mean, of course that would suggest actually putting the focus in the arena and on GFW, which isn’t the point of this show, at least in the first half.

Recap of Impact vs. Drake.

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis vs. Johnny Impact/Garza Jr.

Adonis shoves Garza into the corner to start and Garza TAKES OFF HIS….shirt. Dang it that’s quite the tease. An enziguri puts Adonis down and it’s off to Impact for some double chops. Chris pulls Impact’s hair from the apron though and Drake comes in to hammer away. Everything breaks down for a big and Drake clears the ring without too much effort.

Adonis adds a clothesline to take Johnny down but he sends the villains into each other, allowing the hot tag to Garza. That means IT’S TIME FOR GARZA TO TAKE OFF HIS PANTS, followed by a superkick to Adonis. Stereo moonsaults get two on Drake but Garza gets knocked down as we take a break.

Back with Garza getting double teamed in the corner and Adonis doing his biceps pose (This guy might have fewer moves than Kevin Nash). We hit a camel clutch for a bit before it’s off to Drake for a bad looking powerslam. Garza kicks him away though and it’s the hot tag to Johnny. A running knee to Adonis sets up the springboard corkscrew crossbody with Drake making the save. Everything breaks down and Adonis hits Drake by mistake, allowing Johnny to grab a rollup for the pin at 14:02.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here though they made a point of having Drake avoid Impact. They’ve set up a nice little story for the title match, but the company is kidding themselves if they think this is the top story going into the pay per view. The World Champion shouldn’t be taking a huge backseat to something that isn’t a really important feud and that’s not something Bound For Glory has.

Alberto El Patron is returning at Bound For Glory.

Video on Trevor Lee coming to the Crash and wondering who he’s facing for the X-Division Title.

From the Crash in Tijuana, Mexico.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Ultimo Ninja

Lee is defending, which shouldn’t be that surprising as we haven’t seen Ninja (Garza Jr.’s brother) before. Ninja wastes no time in taking Lee down for a dropsault. Lee sends him outside and scores with the running apron kick to the chest. Back in and things slow down again with Lee slowly stomping and posing a lot. Ninja fights back with a missile dropkick for two, followed by a running flip dive to the floor. A spinning kick to Lee’s face gets two more on Lee but he raises his boots to block a moonsault. The standing double stomp retains Lee’s title at 6:00.

Rating: D+. It’s not a good sign when the fans who know Ninja didn’t seem to care about him either. This was a short match with two guys not doing much of anything special. There was no reason to believe that the title was changing hands, making it just a step ahead of an old school squash.

Global Forged.

King Mo doesn’t like Moose or Bonnar. You remember King Mo right? He’s that MMA guy who shows up every few years, doesn’t do anything important and leaves again without most people realizing he’s gone. But he a Bellator mainstay so he’s always being brought back. His history with TNA isn’t mentioned here so if you don’t know that stuff coming in, he’s just an MMA fighter with a big mouth.

Moose vs. Bobby Lashley

Bonnar and Lambert are the seconds here. They don’t waste time as it’s Moose taking him into the corner to start for some hard forearms to the chest. Lashley sends him into the corner as well for some forearms of his own. Moose puts him on the top for a dropkick out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Lambert grabbing Moose’s leg so Lashley can kick him to the floor. Lambert gets in some choking with a boot as he’s holding some kind of trophy. Lashley hits some posing on the floor and stomps away on Moose back inside. There’s something to be said about someone who can do all the power stuff and wrestle a strong amateur style going with a simple offense instead.

It’s quite the heel move as he’s basically saying he doesn’t need to go to the good stuff when simple offense is more than enough. A chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s Moose coming back with the bicycle kick. Moose’s hesitation dropkick connects but Lambert comes in for the DQ at 11:41.

Rating: C. Something that has gone under the radar in this feud: Dan Lambert is a pretty good heel manager. He’s obnoxious and condescending and can talk fairly well, but he’s stuck in this terrible story. Kind of a shame really. Anyway this worked well and they were smart to do the non-finish with less than two weeks before Bound For Glory. Lashley and Moose are good choices for power guys and you can almost guarantee a tag match at the pay per view. I have no idea why we’re not just seeing this singles match there, but I’m assuming it’s something about the company thinking wrestling fans care about MMA.

Moose and Bonnar clean house post match with Moose powerbombing one of the American Top Team guys onto the pile. The MMA guys bail to the stage and Moose throws out a challenge for Six Sides of Steel at Bound For Glory.

A promo for LAX vs. OVE wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D-. They do know that Bound For Glory is in less than two weeks? You really could have cut this show down to about thirty five minutes and no one would have noticed the difference. There were seven matches on this show and three of them (one of which was heavily clipped) involved wrestlers with matches actually on the pay per view card. It really does feel like they’re throwing whatever they can out there and hoping people watch.

I know they have some issues with filling in so much content over the way too long marathon taping sessions but filling it in with this isn’t working. There’s a good chance that they’re going to do the exact same thing with the Ottawa tapings and that’s going to make for some very, very long episodes in the future. This show was hard to sit through and that’s with a goal in sight. How bad is it going to be when they don’t have a pay per view for another eight months?

Results

James Storm/Ethan Carter III b. El Hijo de Fantasma/Texano – Last Call to Fantasma

OVE b. Phil Atlas/Brent Banks – Spike tombstone to Banks

Eddie Edwards b. Naomichi Marafuji – Emerald Fusion

Petey Williams b. Tarik, Idris Abraham and Kiyomiya – Canadian Destroyer to Tarik

Johnny Impact/Garza Jr. b. Eli Drake/Chris Adonis – Rollup to Adonis

Trevor Lee b. Ultimo Ninja – Standing double stomp

Moose b. Bobby Lashley via DQ when Dan Lambert interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – October 19, 2017: What Is Impact Wrestling?

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 19, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

Hopefully with more wrestling this week. We’re less than a month away from Bound For Glory 2017 and that means it’s time to really crank things up. The big story is Johnny Impact becoming #1 contender to Eli Drake’s World Title. Well at least that’s the big story on the wrestling side. On the MMA side, Moose has been joined by Stephan Bonnar to go after American Top Team. Let’s get to it.

Moose and Stephan Bonnar arrive with everything they stole from the American Top Team facilities.

American Top Team is here as well. It’s going to be another one of those shows.

Recap of Chris Adonis attacking Johnny Impact last week.

Chris Adonis vs. Johnny Impact

Adonis slugs away at Johnny to start but gets kicked in the ribs. We hit the bearhug on Impact for a bit before a spinebuster gets two. The Adonis Lock goes on but Johnny is able to dive over the top for the break in a unique idea. Back in and Impact slugs away in the corner, including a kick to the head. The flip neckbreaker gives Impact two, followed by a springboard corkscrew kick to the head for another near fall and we take a break. Back with Impact breaking up a superplex attempt and hitting the countdown 450 (Countdown to Impact) for the pin at 10:15.

Rating: C. Impact looked fine here, albeit about as bored as you’re going to be against Adonis. At least this match made sense for Impact as he was fighting Eli Drake’s lackey instead of fighting Garza Jr. for no logical reason. The match was more about advancing the story than anything else and that’s what this story needs.

Post match Eli Drake runs in but gets his pants ripped off. The double teaming takes Impact down but Garza Jr. runs in for the save because HE is the one who rips the pants off around here.

Alberto El Patron is back at Bound For Glory. Again I say: PLEASE NO!

Hijo de Fantasma vs. James Storm vs. Texano vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III

This is from Cancun, Mexico, the winner goes on to a match we won’t be seeing and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Storm being sent outside as JB talks about how Team Impact needs to work as a unit. Again, one fall and singles matches of course so let’s talk about teamwork. Carter clotheslines Texano down and it’s time for some triple teaming until Carter doesn’t want Storm to get the pin. Fantasma crossbodies Eddie for two but it’s Storm up again to take over.

That’s still not cool with Carter, who says he should be getting the fall. We hit a parade of big moves until Carter and Texano hit a double clothesline to put everyone down. Back up and Texano posts Edwards, leaving Fantasma to piledrive Carter. Storm and Texano tease going after Fantasma’s father at ringside but the distraction just lets Texano pin Carter at 8:22.

Rating: C-. I’m running out of ways to say I don’t care about this story. They’ve run the same people fighting in Orlando over the promotion invasion and now they’re fighting in Mexico for a spot in a match we won’t be seeing. These matches are watchable but I need more of a story to make me care whatsoever.

OVE is in Tijuana, Mexico to find Konnan, who agrees to meet with them in exchange for a title defense in the Crash promotion.

Carter, Storm and Edwards bicker about the loss in Cancun.

American Top Team yells at Jim Cornette over the stolen property. You have breaking and entering, destruction of property and theft on tape/national TV and you go to the wrestling boss?

Dezmond Xavier vs. Andrew Everett

Everett takes him down by the neck for two to start and a snap suplex gives him the same. Xavier is sent outside as we hear that Taryn Terrell won’t be in the Knockouts Title match at Bound For Glory. Sounds like an injury or someone else leaving the company. That’s enough talking about the Knockouts so the announcers discuss Alberto El Patron returning.

Xavier makes his comeback with some kicks and a backdrop to the floor, followed by the running flip dive to take out Everett and Trevor Lee. Speaking of Lee, he offers another distraction but Xavier misses a charge into the corner. The moonsault kick to the head gives Xavier the pin at 4:37.

Rating: D+. Yeah this happened. It was your usual flip match with the announcers ignoring the action because the X-Division doesn’t mean a single thing in this promotion. As usual, it’s the vaguest of issues (Lee thinks he and his boys are the best, the rest of the division disagrees) and odds are they’ll be thrown into Ultimate X for the title match. That’s lazy writing and I’m not a bit surprised.

Preview of Lee going to Tijuana next week to defend the title. GOOD GRIEF ENOUGH WRESTLING FROM MEXICO ALREADY! These are just matches for the sake of having matches and this is now the third story on the show set in Mexico. I get that a partnership is cool but this is taking over the show.

Oh hey let’s go to Mexico again where OVE is looking for Konnan. They’ll have to defend the titles tonight.

Bonnar and Moose have the Bellator gear in the back. Yes they really brought it here with them and we’re supposed to believe this is real.

Long recap of the issues between Grado and Joseph Park with Park exploiting Grado and taking his money.

Here’s Grado to call out Park. Grado is ready to prosecute Park for stealing from him (or maybe just taking whatever Grado agreed to give him in the contract) and he’s going to be Park’s executioner. We hear a rant about how Grado has been worked ragged for Park’s benefit and Grado doesn’t want to hear any jokes. Park admits that the money was too tempting for him and he gave in. However, the visa keeps Grado in the country so he pretty much has nothing to say right now.

Grado wants the visa handed to him but Park has a better idea: a match at Bound For Glory for Grado’s freedom. Grado immediately signs and Park is rather happy. See, Grado still hasn’t learned about reading the fine print. It turns out that the match is going to be Monster’s Ball and against the monster Abyss.

Recap of Moose/Bonnar vs. American Top Team. My goodness this show loves its recaps.

A panicked Grado gets in his car when someone changes the radio to Abyss’ theme. It’s Father James Mitchell of all people, who scares Grado away.

Tag Team Titles: OVE vs. Black Diamond/Black Danger

OVE is defending and this is in Tijuana for the Crash promotion. Jake, in most of a suit, crossbodies Diamond to start and it’s OVE firing off some kicks to the ribs. We finally settle down to Danger being sent into Diamond, only to have Danger catapult Jake into a spear out of the air. Cool spot if nothing else. A superplex into a powerbomb gets two on Danger and it’s a spike tombstone (with a top rope double stomp) to put Diamond away at 3:44.

Rating: C. Points for having OVE get a win but, again, the focus was this being in Tijuana than anything else. I get that the company thinks going to these other promotions is the coolest thing in the world but all it does is make me think that the Impact Zone is a joke and that the company doesn’t think much of their own talent because they need to go elsewhere to make the show work.

JB is in the ring for what sounds like the Hall of Fame announcement when American Top Team interrupts. Dan Lambert says this isn’t how it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a thing with Jeff Jarrett but now he’s the villain in the story, despite being a huge wrestling fan for forty years. He got into MMA through Japanese shoot professional wrestling promotions and has the biggest collection of wrestling memorabilia in the world.

Lambert pulls out Bruno Sammartino’s first WWWF World Title belt, the National Tag Team Titles from Georgia, the Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Titles, and Jerry Lawler’s AWA World Title (which I believe Lawler said he still had on the AWA documentary). Lambert talks about Moose and Bonnar taking their stuff and showing no respect.

Therefore, at Bound For Glory, we should have a fight with the two of them facing King Mo and Lashley. That’s a fight that wrestling can’t win because they’re not real fighters. Cue Moose and Bonnar with the Bellator titles but they’re quickly beaten down. Lambert runs his mouth about how horrible wrestling is and American Top Team beats down security and the invading roster.

This was a better segment than any other from the MMA guys but EGADS the level of focus this story is receiving is getting very old. It’s a bunch of guys who aren’t going to wrestle plus Lashley and King Mo, who wrestled like three times and wasn’t interesting. Lambert is a decent heel manager but I get really, really tired of hearing about how awesome mixed martial arts is every single week. As usual, this company has no idea what draws fans in and just goes with an idea that they like for months on end, probably leading to a tag match which should be a regular match, but that would imply that the wrestlers are the interesting ones.

OVE gets to meet Konnan and want their pay for the night. Uh, Konnan never said he’d pay them. He said he’d talk to them in exchange for them wrestling. Konnan basically says as much and here are the Crash guys to beat OVE down. Who decided to have two beatdown segments in a row?

Global Forged videos, as we continue to have ANYTHING but Impact on this show.

Recap of Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary

Rosemary wastes no time in charging at Taya in the corner and throwing her across the ring. Taya chokes her in the corner a bit and we take a break. Back with Rosemary stomping in the corner as the announcers make a not so subtle reference to Sexy Star injuring Rosemary in Mexico. Rosemary’s modified Tarantula slows Taya down but Valkyrie throws her into the corner to take over again.

A quickly broken chinlock keeps Rosemary in trouble but she grabs a release German suplex. They loudly slug it out with Rosemary screaming a lot, only to be taken down by some hard kicks to the chest. Rosemary is dropped with her legs bent underneath her, only to come back up with an Undertaker style situp. Not that it matters as Taya hits a double stomp for the pin at 10:55.

Rating: C-. Well that was surprising. I would have bet on this being saved for Bound For Glory but we got it here instead. Having Rosemary lose here shows how strong they’re making Valkyrie, who will probably be Knockouts Champion when we’ve praised Gail Kim enough. I mean, that’s been the case for years now but why change what’s working so little over the years?

Post match Taya loads up the Road to Valhalla but gets misted for her efforts. Rosemary says they make each other see red so it can be a different shade of red at Bound For Glory: blood red. That sounds like a first blood challenge, though I’m more curious about why Taya’s face looks completely normal after taking red mist to the face.

Overall Rating: D+. What is Impact Wrestling? I know it’s supposed to be this promotion that has a bunch of international talent coming in but it feels like a place that has been taken over by that international talent and showcases it’s own talent when they’re given the chance. On this show, we saw the Team Impact guys, the X-Division Champions and the Tag Team Champions in Mexico, along with a woman who calls herself lucha royalty in the main event, the AAA World Champion challenging for the World Title and the main story on the show being built around something that started in Mexico.

As I’ve been saying for weeks now, this show is about everything other than Impact Wrestling. I’m having real issues caring about most of this stuff because I have no real reason to care about them. The MMA stuff continues to bore the heck out of me (pick a reason why, starting with the fact that it’s almost ALL about the MMA people with Moose feeling wedged in there to make it a wrestling angle) and the World Title feud feels like a midcard match. This show is really frustrating as they seem to be charging in the wrong direction as we had into the biggest show of the year.

Results

Johnny Impact b. Chris Adonis – Countdown to Impact

Texano b. Hijo de Fantasma, James Storm, Eddie Edwards and Ethan Carter III – Piledriver to Carter

Dezmond Xavier b. Andrew Everett – Moonsault kick to the head

OVE b. Black Danger/Black Diamond – Spike tombstone to Diamond

Taya Valkyrie b. Rosemary – Double stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – October 12, 2017: Bad and Unacceptable

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 12, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

We’re less than a month away from Bound For Glory and some of the card is starting to come together. You can pretty much guess a lot of the things they’re going to do, though one question is will Moose manage to do something dumber than walk into an MMA gym alone and pick a fight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Eli Drake and Chris Adonis attacking Johnny Impact, only to have Garza Jr. interrupt. This sets up Impact vs. Garza for the Bound For Glory title shot.

Garza says he’ll win. No dude, you won’t.

Opening sequence.

We look at Eddie Edwards winning the GHC Title and Garza trying to win the title. As usual, GFW is really, really overestimating how interesting these other companies are.

Eli Drake is defending the title in Japan this week.

Here’s LAX with something to say. They want their title match right now and don’t care what rules they have to abide by. This brings out OVE to say bring it, even if it’s a 5150 street fight. The champs don’t care but Diamante says it’s all of LAX vs. OVE at the same time. The match, and the brawl, is on with the champs getting beaten down, including Dave being sent through a table at ringside.

We look at a press conference announcing GFW wrestlers going over to Tokyo to invade Pro Wrestling Noah. Is it really an invasion if you announce a working relationship and hold a press conference announcing the matches? More on this later, because we’re just that lucky.

Video on American Top Team, including them attacking various GFW employees and Moose going to their gym and getting beaten down. This is a compilation of clips and packages we’ve seen before.

Another video on Garza Jr. By the way it’s 8:31 and we haven’t had a match yet. I’m not sure if that’s a complaint or not.

Rosemary vs. Hannah Harper

Red Wedding ends Harper in 59 seconds. Nearly half of that was them staring at each other.

Post match Rosemary calls out Taya Valkyrie for a dance with the demon. Taya comes out and mists Rosemary for a change of pace, followed by the Road to Valhalla.

We look at Moose getting beaten down at the American Top Team facility.

Moose is going back to the facility, but this time he has backup.

Here’s Taryn Terrell to tell us all to shut up. She’s got a Knockouts Title shot at Bound For Glory but now she wants to focus on Gail Kim. Taryn talks about Gail’s husband Robert Irvine and says after she’s done, they’ll be heading appearing on Divorce Court. Gail comes out and says she won’t be attacking Taryn, only to slap her anyway.

Alberto El Patron is back at Bound For Glory. DANG IT MAN JUST GO AWAY ALREADY!!!

Sienna is ready for a mixed tag tonight and can’t wait to beat up Allie. One of her partners, Texano, says AAA is awesome. The other partner, Caleb Konley, says North Carolina is awesome.

Grado is very tired and says no more. Joseph Park comes up in an expensive car with a bunch of good looking women. They’re just interns, though one of them calls Grado the meal ticket. Grado isn’t happy as Park leaves with the ladies.

Wrestlers talk about the importance of Bound For Glory. This is probably the fifth promo for the show in the first hour to go with the 53 seconds of in-ring action.

We’re an hour into this show and it’s been little more than a recap show so far. 53 seconds of wrestling and an announcement of a tag match for the pay per view. Wrestling Challenge was run better than this.

Sienna/Caleb Konley/Texano vs. Allie/Dezmond Xavier/James Storm

We finally break a whole minute of wrestling an hour and nine minutes into the show. Sienna stomps Allie in the corner to start but gets taken down with a clothesline. It’s off to Texano vs. Storm but Konley comes in instead. Some villainous cheating has Storm in trouble but Storm is quickly out of a chinlock. A leg lariat gives Texano two and Sienna stomps away as well.

Texano gets dropped again and the diving tag brings in Xavier. Kicks abound and a standing corkscrew moonsault gets two with Sienna making the save. Everything breaks down and it’s a Codebreaker from Allie into a Backstabber from Storm. Konley comes back in with a swinging slap, only to have Xavier hit a 619 around the post. Lee breaks up something off the top but it’s the Last Call to end Konley at 6:38.

Rating: D+. Normally I’m a fan of throwing a bunch of feuds into one match but what happens when the feuds aren’t interesting in the slightest? This was more evidence that Bound For Glory isn’t an interesting show as the TV building it up isn’t compelling in the slightest. There’s no reason for AAA and GFW to be feuding and Xavier feels like he hasn’t been around in weeks. I’m sure he’ll be in the X Title match at the pay per view because that’s what they do with that title most of the time. More uninspired booking here, which is becoming a trend.

Here’s a slightly different package on the wrestlers in Japan. Some of the quotes and clips are the same.

Yet ANOTHER video on Garza Jr., this time of him in Japan.

This week’s Global Forged as this show is allergic to wrestling. This one focuses on Jon Bolen, the head trainer.

LAX is ready for the street fight.

Moose went to the American Top Team facility again (we’ve seen the clip of him on the phone at least five times now), though this time he has backup. Fellow MMA fighter Stephan Bonnar (not named until after the segment is over) is there this time though and they have pipes. They walk in and that’s all for now.

Garza Jr. vs. Johnny Impact

The winner faces Eli Drake at Bound For Glory. Feeling out process to start until Impact takes him down with a headlock. Garza sends him outside for a suicide dive as the announcers promise more American Top Team stuff later tonight. Johnny is back up with a flipping elbow off the steps and we take a break. Back with Garza forearming Impact in the corner but LET’S TAKE OFF THOSE PANTS!

Some kicks to the face have Johnny in trouble and they slug it out, followed by a crossbody to put both guys down. Back up and Johnny kicks him down for two more but he has to bail out of Starship Pain. A second attempt completely misses and Garza gets two off a standing moonsault. Garza’s missile dropkick gets another near fall but a pinfall reversal sequence goes to Impact for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: C+. I don’t know how else to say it but no one cares about Garza. He’s just a guy who was in the lucha tag team and then he’s randomly in the #1 contenders match. A bunch of packages on him for one night isn’t enough to make me care about him in this spot, especially when they weren’t hiding the fact that Impact was winning.

Post match Cornette comes in to interview Impact but Adonis comes in and breaks a board over his head.

And now, back to the real story with American Top Team and UFC LEGEND (yes UFC LEGEND I say, along with JB who says it multiple times) Stephan Bonnar. Everyone is gone (it’s the middle of the night) so they just break stuff with the pipes instead and Moose steals some MMA belts. They also wreck the merchandise area. This is the way they’re hyping up the biggest show of the year people. It’s the best idea they have. Moose leaves a note with the receptionist (who didn’t say a word while in the same room where all this was happening) to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This is only above a failure because the main event wasn’t bad. I just sat through two hours of Bound For Glory ads, the same clip of Moose on the phone saying he needed help, videos that didn’t make me interested in Garza Jr. and GFW in Japan. If you take out the commercial from the main event, there was less than twenty minutes of action on the show and less than two minutes out of the first seventy were spent on wrestling.

I know they’re strapped with all the taping marathons and such but with this many wrestlers running around, there’s really no excuse to have almost no one to put on the shows. Come up with something better than a squash, a six person tag and a really obvious main event. With as many people as they have, including all the talent they bring in, there’s not much of an excuse for this. This show wasn’t so much bad as it was unacceptable, which is much worse.

Results

Rosemary b. Hannah Harper – Red Wedding

James Storm/Dezmond Xavier/Allie b. Sienna/Caleb Konley/Texano – Last Call to Konley

Johnny Impact b. Garza Jr. – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – October 5, 2017: I’m Getting Tired Of Saying This

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re closing in on Bound For Glory and fresh off another show that ended in chaos with the American Top Team guys cleaning house. World Champion Eli Drake actually got to do something though as he and Chris Adonis got to beat down Johnny Impact and Garza Jr., who is now involved in the main event scene for some reason. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Lance Russell.

We get a Pray For Vegas graphic.

We open with a recap of Johnny Impact vs. Eli Drake last week with Impact getting cheated out of the title. Johnny wants a fair rematch.

Opening sequence.

Here are Drake and Adonis to open things up. Drake talks about driving down Victory Road last week and pulling straight into Slam Town. He turned the ghetto into a parking lot and built Eli’s Cakes on top. Eli: “YUMMY! YEAH!” Johnny isn’t here tonight and there’s a good chance he won’t get back after that Gravy Train he took last week.

Drake turns his sights to Jim Cornette, whose golden boy couldn’t get the job done. Cornette has brought up every challenger he can and next week he’s sending the champ to Japan. Since he has to go halfway around the world next week, he’s getting the night off tonight. As for Adonis though, he wants to fight so let’s get an opponent out here right now.

Chris Adonis vs. Garza Jr.

Adonis is in street clothes and Drake joins commentary. Garza scores with a series of kicks for two but Adonis takes over on the arm. Back up and a hurricanrana takes Adonis out to the floor but he drops Garza onto the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Garza fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a butterfly suplex.

Adonis cranks on both arms as this match just keeps going. Seriously it’s Chris Masters vs. the local luchador. Why is this getting ten minutes? A spinebuster plants Garza but we cut to the back where Johnny Impact arrives. The Adonis Lock doesn’t work as Garza sends him into the corner. Drake bails to feed the parking meter and THERE GO GARZA’S PANTS!!! The Lionsault misses and Impact runs in for the DQ at 12:00.

Rating: D-. We just sat through Chris Masters vs. the luchador whose big spot is taking his pants off for twelve minutes with a run-in DQ. That’s the best thing they have to open the show? Horrible stuff here as Adonis really isn’t interesting and hasn’t changed a bit since he was in WWE. Find something more interesting than this.

Post match Impact beats up Adonis but gets in a fight with Garza. Cue Jim Cornette to make Impact vs. Garza Jr. for next week (yay). He throws in a bonus: the winner will be facing Drake for the title at Bound For Glory. So Garza goes from a midcard tag guy to possibly #1 contender for the World Title in the main event of the biggest show of the year in a few weeks? Even Jinder Mahal would think that’s extreme. Garza and Impact brawl some more. By the way, the total time between Cornette coming up and the music playing after his announcement: 87 seconds.

Recap of Moose vs. Bobby Lashley, which of course features the American Top Team guys. Good grief why do they think we care?

Moose is in a parked car looking for Lashley. He’s heading for the American Top Team headquarters.

Wrestlers are ready for Bound For Glory.

We look at OVE winning the Tag Team Titles last week.

Konnan yells at LAX for losing so Santana gets in his face. The card table is turned over.

OVE vs. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill

Non-title. Jake starts with Bolen but gets waistlocked for his efforts. A high crossbody and neckbreaker drop Bolen and McGill is sent outside as well. Jake drops both of them with a double suicide dive, followed by Dave’s Asai moonsault. Back in and OVE kicks McGill in the head a few times and let’s plug those Pop TV sitcoms. A High/Low puts Bolen away at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Just a quick win here to further establish OVE as stars. It would be nice if they established some other teams though as I’m not sure who OVE is supposed to feud with after they presumably defeat LAX in the rematch at the pay per view. The tag division is one of the company’s weakest points and that’s really covering a lot of ground.

We recap James Storm/Ethan Carter III vs. the AAA guys, who completely hate this company because the script tells them to.

Here are KM and Sienna with the latter complaining about not having a match on Bound For Glory. No one has a match on the show yet you nitwit. She says she’s going into the Hall of Fame this year so here’s Gail Kim to interrupt. Gail wants her show at the Knockouts Championship Title (still such an odd way to word it) at Bound For Glory.

Cue Taryn Terrell to say she was the longest reigning Knockouts Champion in history and wants a chance to get the title back. Now it’s Allie coming out with Josh seemingly liking her look this week. The other three might be former Knockouts Champions but she’s Allie and deserves another chance to become champion. Cue Karen Jarrett to say Sienna isn’t going into the Hall of Fame. Yes, they actually felt that we needed that explained to us. It’s also a four way for the title at Bound For Glory.

Joseph Park has a meet and greet scheduled for Grado but Grado thinks the prices are a little high. Park says you can charge these marks anything. He pays Grado what seems to be a small amount of money but Grado again seems happy with it.

Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams/Matt Sydal

Remember like three weeks ago when Sydal was getting a World Title shot? Or remember like fourteen years ago when people cared about Petey Williams? I mean you should, as it’s the only reason he’s in this spot at the moment. Everything breaks down just a few seconds in with the villains taking over early on, only to be sent into each other. A triple dropkick sends them outside, followed by an apron moonsault and a double suicide dive.

Back from a break with Dutt and Sydal legsweeping Lee and Konley to set up stereo standing moonsaults. Dutt gets kneed in the back and kicked in the face as the beating begins. Konley works on the arm as the announcers talk about the villains’ unity for wearing all black gear. Or they want to make sure no one recognizes them on this show.

Dutt grabs a tornado DDT while dropkicking everyone else, setting up the hot tag to Petey so house can be cleaned in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Sydal’s top rope double knees takes Lee down. Matt throws Lee into Everett on the top, followed by the shooting star to end Everett at 14:31.

Rating: C. I’m not even going to bother with the sarcasm here. It was a completely watchable cruiserweight match that means a grand total of nothing because they’re going to be thrown into an Ultimate X match for the title where no one gets to showcase any individuality and the whole thing is about crazy spots that we’ve seen before and we hear about how important the X-Division is despite it never getting any focus. We’ve heard the same thing for the better part of ten years now and I’m tired of pretending it’s going to change.

Dutt wants the title shot at Bound For Glory and the winners get in an argument over who should have the chance. Just announce Ultimate X already so it can be over hyped.

Here’s this week’s Global Forged.

Laurel Van Ness is back in the audience looking a husband.

Moose arrives at the gym and shoves Dan Lambert away. He gets in a cage but a fighter punches him in the face so the beatdown can be on. They throw Moose out of the building.

Ethan Carter III/James Storm vs. El Hijo de Fantasma/Texano Jr.

In what is becoming a trend, this is getting nearly half an hour. Storm takes Texano down to start as JB hypes this as main eventers vs. main eventers. Carter and Storm get in an argument over a tag though and it’s Fantasma sneaking in for a cheap shot to take over. Storm slips over and makes the tag to Carter for a flapjack on Texano.

The TK3 gets two but Fantasma gets the same off a dropkick. Carter is taken into the heel corner for some stomping, followed by a hard kick to the chest for two. It’s off to the chinlock for a bit until Carter fights up, only to have Pagano come strolling down. Back from a break with Carter still in trouble via some more choking on the ropes.

Texano adds in a jawbreaker and shouts in Spanish for Fantasma to go up. That means a missed splash though and a cutter allows the hot tag to Storm. Everything breaks down again and Storm starts to clean house. It must not be a very big house though as Fantasma superkicks him down, only to get crotched on top. He hasn’t had much luck up there.

The Tower of Doom takes everyone down and thing slow a bit. Carter is thrown outside and then into the post by Pagano as Eddie Edwards not being here to even things out is likely going to be a plot point. Storm loads up a suplex, only to have Pagano trip him up and hold the leg so Fantasma can get the pin at 19:50.

Rating: D+. This one boils down to whether this story interests you or not. It doesn’t in my case as I still have no reason to care about any of the AAA guys, nor do any of them have any motivation to be heels other than they’re from another company. That’s not enough of a story for my taste and I really didn’t need to see a completely average at best tag match going on for twenty minutes.

We go back to the LAX club house where Konnan has a big idea: a street fight at Bound For Glory. Everyone leaves to party and Low Ki is shaking his head.

Overall Rating: D. The show still feels completely flat as almost nothing interesting happened all night long. A big part of that is the roster being filled by so many outsiders, be they from MMA or AAA. It’s one thing if the matches are tearing the house down or something (like the lucha libre in ECW where they were a bunch of outsiders but stealing the show in a way no one had seen in America before) but that’s not what we’re getting here.

Instead it’s a bunch of average matches with very weak stories that aren’t drawing in any special interest. Odds are the MMA guys get in the ring at Bound For Glory, which hasn’t been interesting before and won’t be this time either. Either way, I’m sure we’ll be told that it’s the most thrilling thing we’ve ever seen and how the company is changing wrestling.

What GFW doesn’t seem to get is that changing wrestling isn’t always a good thing and just being different for the sake of being different doesn’t work. They need a focus and I really haven’t seen that in a long time. Figure out what you want to be and go with it, but just bringing in a bunch of people from another promotion whose entire characters are “this person is from this promotion and they’re awesome” isn’t enough. The show wasn’t terrible by any stretch but it also was one of the least interesting ones they’ve done in a good while, which is the case way too often around here.

Results

Chris Adonis b. Garza Jr. via DQ when Johnny Impact interfered

OVE b. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill – High/Low to Bolen

Matt Sydal/Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett – Shooting star press to Everett

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – September 28, 2017: Can We Get Them A Motivational Poster?

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 28, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re still in the invasion period as stars from both AAA in Mexico and the American Top Team fighters are around, making lives rather difficult for the Impact Wrestling crew. With less than two months to go before Bound For Glory, things are starting to pick up and that means some stuff needs to start being set up. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks like the World and X-Division Title matches tonight.

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Trevor Lee

Williams is challenging because he doesn’t like how Lee stole the title and wants to return the title to its glory days. You know, like when you cheated by using a hockey stick or various other Canadian things. In other words, this story is a stretch at best and unnecessary at worst. Williams hurricanranas him down to start as the announcers debate the wrestlers’ IQ’s.

Lee sends him into the steps to take over though and another hard whip into the corner gets two on Petey. As Josh takes shots at fans/news talking about the company being in trouble, Lee grabs a quickly broken chinlock. A Canadian legsweep gets two but Caleb Konley gets on the apron for a distraction. Now the Canadian Destroyer connects but Lee pulls the referee out at two. Petey begs for it to not be a DQ and settles for Konkey being ejected instead. The distraction lets Lee hit a belt shot for two but the standing double stomp puts Williams away to retain at 8:09.

Rating: C. I’m still waiting on a reason to care about Williams other than nostalgia. He’s a one move guy and nothing else he does really stands out. Yeah he used to be a big deal around here but that was over ten years ago and it’s hard to care about him now when I didn’t care about him in the first place. Lee retaining is good though I’m not looking forward to them just throwing the title up in an Ultimate X match instead of having a story put together.

LAX is ready to retain their Tag Team Titles.

Taya Valkyrie/Taryn Terrell/Sienna vs. Gail Kim/Allie/Rosemary

Sienna and Rosemary start things off with the latter throwing the champ around like she’s nothing. It’s off to Taryn who runs from Gail and brings in Taya instead. Everything breaks down with the villains being sent outside as we take a break. Back with Gail getting triple teams and Taryn hitting a swinging faceplant for two. The Road to Valhalla is broken up though and the hot tag brings in Allie to clean house. Not that it matters as Sienna rolls Allie up and puts her feet on the ropes for the pin at 9:34.

Rating: C-. Just a match here with a good chunk being spent on a commercial. The Knockouts division is starting to pick up steam again but it’s not going to matter if we just hand it right back to Kim for the sake of a big retirement present. Allie has become just another person too and that’s quite the shame after everything she did over the spring. There’s still time for her but sweet goodness it’s gone down hill in a hurry.

Eli Drake says he’ll retain and that’s just a fact of life.

An exhausted Grado goes to dinner with Joseph Park and is given his first royalty check. Without looking at it, Grado offers to take care of dinner but Park has to leave to answer a call. Grado opens the envelope and really isn’t happy.

Johnny Impact has stolen Drake’s couch and says he’ll take his title tonight too.

Here’s James Storm for a chat. He doesn’t like the AAA guys coming in and disrespecting him like so many other wrestlers have done in the past. This is GFW (not for long dude) and Storm has the fans stand up and chant the letters with him. He doesn’t care what the AAA guys think because he’ll be here beating people up and drinking beer. Cue Texano but Storm says cut the music.

Storm doesn’t have a problem with Mexicans but he has a problem with Texano. A Taco Bell joke is made and the fight is on. Fantasma runs in to beat on Storm with Texano beating on him with the bullrope and hitting his own Last Call. Fantasma calls AAA the best company in the world but Ethan Carter runs in to break up a beer bottle shot to Storm’s head. House is cleaned and Storm offers a handshake, which Carter finally accepts.

Post break Storm and Carter demand a match from Jim Cornette even though they hate each other. Cornette makes it for next week but tells them not to screw up the AAA deal.

Another video on Global Forged. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting.

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. OVE

OVE is challenging and goes straight at the champs during the entrances. Dave rolls Santana up for two to start as the announcers talk about the World Title match. Santana is right back up with a middle rope Russian legsweep and we take a break. Back with Dave in trouble and Ortiz dropping a middle rope legdrop for two.

A double suplex drops Dave again but he rolls away and brings in Jake for the house cleaning. Jake powerslams Santana into the corner (cool) for two, followed by a super hurricanrana for the same. A Death Valley Driver sends Dave into Jake for a rather near fall. Back up and Dave grabs Search Encompass (a snap DDT) for the pin and the titles at 11:14.

Rating: C. The match was fine but they didn’t have time to do much with it. OVE winning makes sense and they’ve been built up well enough though I have no idea who they’re supposed to feud with other than LAX. In other words, get ready for the big gimmick rematch at Bound For Glory.

As usual, we speed away from the title change to get to what matters: a video on Lashley deciding if he wants to be a fighter or a wrestler. Dan Lambert brags about how awesome of a fighter Lashley can be and tells the cameras to get out of here. Can someone please explain to me why an MMA gym owner is the top heel in this promotion?

Johnny Impact is ready to win the title.

GFW World Title: Johnny Impact vs. Eli Drake

Drake is defending and unless there’s something else to end the show, they have nearly half an hour. Eli sends him into the corner to start but gets tossed outside for his efforts. Back in and a neckbreaker drops Impact again. Impact slugs away until Chris Adonis pulls him down from the floor, earning Adonis an ejection.

Back from a break with Drake teasing walking out and getting suplexed on the ramp for his efforts. Johnny charges into an elbow in the corner though, followed by an elbow on the apron for two. A chinlock keeps things slow with Josh saying it’s not boring because it’s how Drake wins matches. Fair enough.

Johnny fights up with a neckbreaker and the breakdancing legdrop, followed by the standing shooting star for two. Back from a break with Drake getting two off Blunt Force Trauma. The referee gets bumped so there’s no one to count the pin off the Flying Chuck. Adonis comes back as Drake hits Impact with the belt for two from another referee.

Drake punches the second referee as Adonis helps beat Impact down. The belt shot hits Adonis though and Johnny’s flip neckbreaker gets two more from the first referee. Drake shoves the first referee and kicks Johnny low, setting up the Gravy Train to retain Drake’s title at 25:23.

Rating: C-. So did Cornette just skip off to Wendy’s and miss the entire main event? Of all the things he complains about seeing, this is the kind of thing he would likely stop in a heartbeat but all this stuff is just allowed to happen? The match was fine, albeit completely overbooked of course, which tends to be the case in so many of these main events. You can probably pencil this in for the main event of Bound For Glory too, which isn’t the worst idea in the world.

Post match Adonis holds Impact so Eli can talk trash to him. Of all people, freaking Garza Jr. runs in for the save but LAX comes in to beat everyone down. Konnan shoves a fan and LAX takes down an Impact official. Adonis and Drake beat up some referees as Cornette and Scott D’Amore come out to end the show. Of all the people you could put into that spot, GARZA JR.??? REALLY?

Overall Rating: C. The show wasn’t terrible for the most part but the lack of personalities is getting worse every week. Drake and Impact (to a lesser degree) can talk quite well but for the most part, people just come in, do their matches and leave without making any kind of connection to the fans. It doesn’t help that the big villain is an MMA guy and the second villains are all from AAA for a lame invasion angle.

Overall, the show just feels lifeless at times and boring the rest of the time. There’s very little that stands out as impressive on the show and it feels like a combination of unoriginal stuff with uninspired characters. The wrestling is watchable but they really need to work on their storytelling, which is a disaster at the moment.

Results

Trevor Lee b. Petey Williams – Standing double stomp

Taya Valkyrie/Taryn Terrell/Sienna b. Gail Kim/Allie/Rosemary – Rollup to Allie with feet on the ropes

OVE b. LAX – Search Encompass to Ortiz

Eli Drake b. Johnny Impact – Gravy Train

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – September 21, 2017: Enough Already! In Spanish!

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 21, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s time for whatever this promotion is called this week, though I would recommend MMA Pro Wrestling at this point as the American Top Team fighters are the undisputed top stars of the show. Lashley’s release has been revoked due to getting in a big fight with Moose to end last week’s episode. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Bobby Heenan.

We open with a recap of last week with Johnny Impact becoming #1 contender and the MMA fighters beating down Moose.

Here’s a mad Johnny Impact to open the show. He wants Eli Drake out here right now for his title shot but it turns out that Drake is in Mexico defending the title (because GFW thinks we still believe this is live every week). Instead it’s KM and a referee to interrupt. KM doesn’t want to hear this but Johnny still wants to fight Eli because he saw the champ’s car in the parking lot. KM: “YOU FANS IN THE IMPACT ZONE SUCK!” And this man is a professional ladies and gentlemen. After some insults, Johnny agrees to put up his #1 contendership right now.

Johnny Impact vs. KM

Johnny kicks him in the face at the bell and gets two off a standing shooting star. KM drapes Johnny over the top rope to take over and hammers away at the head. A sitout full nelson slam gets two but Johnny is right back with a leg lariat. KM takes a knee to the face and the breakdancing legdrop gets two. The countdown 450 puts KM away at 2:59. KM might be the most worthless member of the roster.

Pagano is ready to do bad things and tells someone that they know what to do.

Ava Storie vs. Taya Valkyrie

Taya throws her down without much effort and the beating is on in a hurry. The Road to Valhalla (a great name for the double chickenwing facebuster) is good for the pin on Storie at 1:19.

Taya says lucha royalty has arrived and she wants the Knockouts Title. Cue Rosemary to say there is laughter in her head. The Hive thinks it’s funny that Taya should get a title shot first. How dare anyone think Rosemary would lose without help from the evil bride or the champ’s speed bump of a cousin. Sienna comes in to turn this into a big brawl with Allie and Taryn Terrell following her out soon thereafter. Gail Kim finally comes in for the save to clean house.

It’s back to Mexico where OVE is refusing to leave until they get a fair title shot. A spy calls someone (presumably Konnan) to say they’re coming. Post break Konnan tells his women to show OVE a good time until LAX is ready. This is little more than an excuse for strippers to dance. LAX comes in for the showdown and a match is made for next week.

We meet some names in Global Forged. As usual, none of this has a chance to sink in because we need to get to whatever is next.

Gail, Allie and Rosemary want a six Knockouts tag. Rosemary wants the blood and gore, which seems to excite Allie more than you would expect.

We recap Trevor Lee stealing the X-Division Title last week. Petey Williams really isn’t cool with that and he wants to bring some prestige back to the title.

Bound For Glory is coming to Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.

Video on Grado performing at an indy show in Cleveland on his first assignment as a member of Joseph Park’s sports management group. It’s a fairly well attended show and Grado says he was well paid. I think you know where this is going.

El Pagano/El Hijo Del Fantasma vs. Eddie Edwards/Ethan Carter III

So yeah, Carter is just kind of a face now. Eddie starts fast with a sitout F5 to Fantasma and it’s off to Carter for some right hands in the corner. Carter makes the mistake of going after Pagano though and Fantasma kicks him in the face to take over. A running corner dropkick from Pagano gives Fantasma two, followed by a running Blockbuster to give Pagano the same.

Carter runs over both luchadors but Pagano breaks off a hot tag attempt. A quick TK3 drops Pagano and now the hot tag brings in Eddie to clean house. Everything breaks down and a modified 1%er plants Fantasma, followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb. There’s no count though as the referee decides to enforce the rules for a change. Cue fellow AAA wrestler Texano to powerbomb Eddie, giving Fantasma the pin at 6:36.

Rating: C-. I just do not care for invasion angles as these three are just people attacking GFW wrestlers. Why? No particular reason really other than they’re outsiders. I don’t have any reason to care about any of them and the match was nothing special in the first place. On top of that, I have a big issue buying the idea that GFW wrestlers who might have had issues in the past are just suddenly all friendly for the sake of standing up for the promotion.

The beatdown is on until James Storm makes the save. The announcers point out that Carter and Storm were bitter rivals just a few months ago, making this story all the less logical.

Johnny Impact is looking for Eli but runs into Fantasma and Texano. They don’t like him being in AAA so they want to fight him here, with Impact being willing to put up his #1 contendership tonight.

Kongo Kong vs. Mahabali Shera

Josh: “This is like Godzilla vs. the other big thing!” Shera hammers away but gets powerslammed down for his efforts. Kong throws him around a bit more before having to block a slam attempt. A running splash staggers Kong and a springboard….I guess clothesline that was left short puts Kong down for two. Back up and Kong scores with a headbutt, followed by the Cannonball. The top rope splash ends Shera at 3:49.

Rating: D. This would be another good example of just throwing people out there because they need to fill in time. Neither of these two have anything interesting and Kong continues to be more embarrassing than anything else. Shera is somehow the more interesting of these two, which has probably never been said before.

Eli Drake is in Mexico to find Johnny Impact but it turns out Johnny isn’t here. That gravy train is coming down the tracks to run Johnny over and no one is taking this title from him. As usual, Drake is one of the best things about this promotion by several, several miles.

We look at Lashley and the MMA guys beating Moose down. Moose isn’t happy.

Texano vs. Johnny Impact

For the #1 contendership. Felling out process to start with Texano slapping him in the chest, only to be taken down with some right hands to the face. A running knee to the jaw and the standing shooting star give Johnny two so Texano bails to the floor. Back in and Johnny hits three straight flip neckbreakers for two but the 450 misses. Texano gets in an enziguri to put Johnny on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Texano sending him into the steps and a variety of other things in lieu of actual wrestling. Texano grabs a reverse Figure Four, which goes as far as a submission hold from a heel is going to go. Johnny is back up with an Asai moonsault to the floor but loses another brawl. Back in and Texano hits some chops/clotheslines in the corner but Johnny scores with the Flying Chuck. The sliding German suplex sets up Starship Pain to give Johnny the pin at 14:35.

Rating: C-. Just another example of a match where if you don’t follow either AAA or Lucha Underground, you’re watching Johnny fight some random guy. Texano is a talented performer but he’s another name on a list of people being brought in and it’s getting really old in a hurry.

Laurel Van Ness is in the crowd looking for a man.

Sienna, Taya and Taryn go into Karen Jarrett’s office and demand a match next week. Karen is smug (ala Stephanie McMahon again) and the match is made.

For our main event, we go to AAA where Drake defended the title against Bronce.

GFW World Title: Eli Drake vs. Bronce

Drake is defending and clotheslines the much smaller Bronce down to start. A middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb so Drake can start choking away. The pop up Big Ending gives Drake two as this arena, which doesn’t seem to be anything huge, already feels entirely better than the Impact Zone. Bronce gets two off a hurricanrana but the Gravy Train retains the title at 4:35.

Rating: D. It was watchable enough while it lasted but this was just a step above a squash. There were two big positives here though. First of all, as mentioned, the arena felt big for a change. Instead of just having the same 500 or however many bored fans, this felt like people there to see a wrestling show. That’s so much better than the norm. Second, it was nice to have a full match instead of just clips. I could live with this going forward instead of seeing about three minutes of a probably fifteen minute match.

A Victory Road ad takes us out.

Overall Rating: D. Here’s the thing: this was WAY better than last week’s show as it at least had a point and some stories running throughout the show. They have a direction (at least for now) and that’s an upgrade. However, the problem is that direction not being interesting. If you don’t REALLY like the AAA story or the MMA guys, you might as well just wait until after Bound For Glory as you’re not going to like the show until then at the earliest.

The AAA/Crash guys were all over this show, being featured in nearly every match. As mentioned, I’m not a big fan of invasion angles in the first place and I’m even less of a fan of just bringing people in and being told to care about them because they’re awesome. Without watching AAA (or Lucha Underground, which is starting to see a very similar cast of characters), I have no idea who most of these newcomers are. Therefore, I have no reason to care about them or what they’re doing. Throw in the fact that they’ll likely be gone after this taping cycle and Bound For Glory and it’s a big waste of time.

As usual, the problem is having one story dominate the show. It’s what they did in Immortal, Aces and 8’s and a host of others. While it’s not to that level yet, just wait until Alberto El Patron is back to be the big star of the AAA wrestlers (if they stick around that is). It’s a really annoying tactic and if you don’t like the story, you’re just kind of stuck waiting around, which is hardly a good way to run a TV show. Anyway, this week was less boring, and that’s about the extent of the positives.

Results

Johnny Impact b. KM – 450

Taya Valkyrie b. Ava Storie – Road to Valhalla

El Hijo Del Fantasma/El Pagano b. Ethan Carter III/Eddie Edwards – Sitout powerbomb to Edwards

Kongo Kong b. Mahabali Shera – Top rope splash

Johnny Impact b. Texano – Starship Pain

Eli Drake b. Bronce – Gravy Train

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – September 14, 2017: A Really Bad (And Long) Sign

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dssfi|var|u0026u|referrer|fkrsa||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: September 14, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

We’re closing in on Bound For Glory though nothing has actually been mentioned about the show yet. The big match this week is OVE vs. LAX for the Tag Team Titles….from the Crash in Tijuana, Mexico. In other words, it’s more footage from another promotion instead of here at Impact Wrestling. This is starting to feel like Ring of Honor and that’s really not a good thing. Let’s get to it.

Lashley and American Top Team arrive and beat up a backstage guy.

Quick video on Johnny Impact vs. Low Ki for the #1 contendership.

Opening sequence.

Garza Jr. vs. Braxton Sutter

Fallout from Sutter talking to Allie last week. Sutter headlocks him to start but stops to let Garza take off his shirt. A slam gives Garza two, followed by a sunset flip out of the corner for the same. Sutter gets two off a powerslam but again stops so Garza can take off his pants, but not before blowing a kiss to Allie. Her jaw drops as the pants come off and Garza superkicks Sutter for good measure. A powerbomb gives Sutter three straight near falls but he gets superkicked for a second time. Garza adds a Lionsault (minus the running start) for the pin at 4:53.

Rating: D+. So the story now is about Garza hitting on Allie and Allie causing Sutter problems. That’s quite the shame as they seem to be teasing a breakup here, despite the two of them being such an awesome team just a few months ago. Allie is incredibly talented and it’s kind of a shame that she’s been relegated to a really standard story instead of letting the two of them run with what they had earlier in the year.

Post match Sutter yells at her but then apologizes. Allie doesn’t seem to accept it at first but eventually leaves with him.

Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. El Hijo de Fantasma

Carter is defending and gets a decisively face pop. Hector Guerrero is one of the judges and Josh accuses him of being biased. Fantasma is forced into the corner to start but comes right back with an armbar to slow things down. Naturally the announcers talk about Lashley and MMA because that’s what this wrestling show is now about. Some chops get Carter out of trouble and he drops an elbow for two. The TK3 connects but sends Fantasma to the floor as the round ends.

Round one goes to Carter so Fantasma starts round two in a hurry. A right hand puts him back down though and the pace slows again. Fantasma jumps over him in the corner and snaps off a hurricanrana. A jumping knee to the face sets up running knees in the corner as Carter is rocked. Fantasma gets two off a top rope hurricanrana and frog splash. The 1%er is broken up and it’s a surfboard hold to take us to the end of round two.

Fantasma wins to tie things up and we take a break before the third fall. Back with Carter powerbombing him twice for another near fall and both guys being a bit spent. A slugout goes to Fantasma but Carter flips out of a Fujiwara armbar. Another TK3 gets two but Fantasma sends him outside for a suicide dive. Back in and a hanging 1%er plants Fantasma as the time expires at 9:00. Carter wins via split decision.

Rating: B-. Good match, and another great example of one that completely doesn’t need the round thing. It’s a good enough match and they were beating each other up but it was really hard to buy the near falls when they just love these judges’ rulings. I liked the match enough but this just needs to be the TV Title again with this whole nonsense dropped.

Post match Fantasma gets in a shoving match with Hector, who was the deciding vote. That dies down and it’s Pagano debuting (in a very weak moment) to beat Carter down. Eddie Edwards runs in for the save, which Carter doesn’t seem to care for.

We go to Mexico where Homicide reunites with LAX. They hit a club and Konnan says the fix is in because they’ve paid off the referee and gives OVE tainted water.

Tag Team Titles: Ultimo Maldito/Hijo de Pirate Morgan vs. Black Boy/Arkangel Davino vs. LAX vs. OVE

Don’t know who these guys are? Well that’s just your fault because you didn’t do your homework by watching a promotion from Mexico to study up on things. Jeremy says one of their names is Black Diamond but when I looked up some of the names to see how they were spelled, it was listed as Black Boy. Much like the matches during the Hardys’ World Tour, this is a bunch of clips instead of the full match. There are some good looking dives and near falls, followed by what seems to be a three count but the referee is pulled out. Homicide adds a Gringo Killer and LAX retains after less than three minutes shown.

We see OVE going up to I believe the Crash locker room and Konnan says that’s like signing your death certificate.

Grado vs. ???

Grado is leaving due to visa issues and wanted one more match. The Wee Boot gives him the pin at 47 seconds.

Post match Grado says he’s leaving on a coach flight at 10am but he wanted to perform in front of the best fans in the world one more time. Joseph Park interrupts and he has a surprise. He’s going to be sponsoring Grado’s visa so Grado can stay! Park is going to be his agent it seems, promising him booking, in-ring Polaroid shoots and podcast appearances.

Johnny Impact says Low Ki is a dream opponent and tonight, Low Ki goes to Slam Town.

Lashley and American Top Team goes in to see Jim Cornette and demands his release. Cornette grants it but the fighters have to leave, but before Lashley leaves he wants him to face Moose one on one.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Trevor Lee

Dutt is defending and this is falls count anywhere. Lee gets two on the floor off a baseball slide but Dutt sends him into the barricade for a breather. They head inside for the first time with Lee kicking him in the face, only to get dropped again. Dutt throws in a chair but Lee throws it right back out.

They hit kicks to the head at the same time for a double knockdown. Why there’s no count when Dutt’s leg is over Lee isn’t clear, but I’d guess it’s because that’s not in the script and the referee doesn’t know any better. Dutt’s tornado DDT plants Lee but a superplex plants Dutt just as fast. They head outside again with Lee throwing a chair at his head before fighting into the crowd.

We take a break (of course we do) and come back with the fight heading into the back. Caleb Konley jumps Dutt, because falls count anywhere now means No DQ. A trashcan to the head gives Lee two but heel miscommunication lets him get a breather. Dutt is busted open and it’s time to hit Lee in the head with a trashcan lid. A tornado DDT off the wall is countered with a crotching onto a barricade and Lee rolls him up (with tights) for the pin and the title at 13:57.

Rating: C+. It never ceases to amaze me how much they’ve sucked the soul out of this division. This was a fast paced match and I couldn’t bring myself to care about it no matter how hard I tried. It’s just not interesting no matter how hard they try (and the wrestlers are trying) and so much of that is due to how worthless the X-Division is now. They’re treated like an afterthought and have been for years now. Why would I care if the company doesn’t?

American Top Team beats up Richard Justice for general purposes.

Clip of Global Forged, GFW’s version of Tough Enough/Breaking Ground.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Amber Nova

Taya slams her down to start and sends Amber into the corner. A raised boot in the corner staggers Taya as JB mentions Bound For Glory, perhaps for the first time. Taya gets two off a sitout powerbomb and pulls Amber up before three. A double chickenwing facebuster (Beth Phoenix’s Glam Slam) ends Nova at 1:20.

Eli Drake and Chris Adonis smell desperation from the people trying to reach his level with their little T-Rex arms. Drake has spotted two marks in the main event and he’ll be watching.

Johnny Impact vs. Low Ki

The winner faces Drake at Victory Road, whenever that is. Ki tries some shots to the face but gets swatted away as they seem to have a lot of time here. They hit the mat for some grappling before Impact blocks a kick and grabs a dragon sleeper over the ropes. We take a break and come back with Impact fighting out of an abdominal stretch and kicking Ki down.

The breakdancing legdrop gets two and Ki is placed on the middle rope for a sliding German suplex (cool). Impact’s split legged moonsault is broken up though with Ki grabbing a hanging dragon sleeper. The Flying Chuck puts Ki down but he comes back with a shotgun dropkick into the corner. Back up and Ki crotches himself while trying the Warrior’s Way, setting up Starship Pain to give Impact the title shot at 11:14.

Rating: C. Hopefully that’s it for Low Ki as I’m sick of his stupid ultra serious yet still paying homage to/ripping off a video game look. At least he’s toned down the kicks a bit and learned to do something else for a change. Impact winning was obvious and at least they didn’t have the match go on twenty minutes for the sake of going on twenty minutes.

Post match Adonis sneaks in to put Impact in the Adonis Lock. Drake comes out to add the Gravy Train.

Lashley tells Cornette to watch what’s about to happen to Moose.

Taya yells at Karen Jarrett and tells her to pay attention to what happens in that ring.

Here’s Lashley as this show’s run time has been extended to approximately nineteen hours. Lashley talks about being forced to choose between wrestling and MMA, even though he’s doing pretty well at both. American Top Team has been begging him to come there full time and win that “mixed martial arts heavyweight championship”. He’s going back to MMA full time but first, he wants to call out Moose. The announcers are surprised by this, despite seeing what Cornette said and mentioning it during the show.

Moose comes out and immediately punches him in the jaw, only to get clotheslined to the floor. A powerbomb on the floor keeps Moose in trouble but he cuts off the spar with a boot. They fight into the crowd because this needs to fill in more time. This just keeps going as they head into the back with the announcers continuing to name drop Dan Lambert every chance they have.

A neckbreaker drops Moose on the apron as the announcers talk about how Lashley leaving might cost them their Christmas bonuses. Moose kicks him down and hits a spear at ringside. They get back inside and of course here are the MMA guys to beat Moose down to end the show after a nearly seven minute brawl.

Overall Rating: D. This show felt as long as Wrestlemania and my goodness we’ve got how many weeks left in this taping cycle? I don’t even know where to begin on what was wrong with this show. Above all else though, it’s the same problem I have watching Ring of Honor when they’re in their New Japan phases: I don’t watch the show to see other promotions. I watch it to see GFW, not whatever other promotion they can fit in this week. Last week it was twenty minutes of AAA and this week it’s the other AAA guys plus the Crash.

If that’s not enough, the big story, with the last segment of the show and a lot of time, is still the MMA stuff. Combine that with all the international material and it feels like A, GFW doesn’t have enough content of its own to fill two hours a week or B, they don’t think their own stuff is good enough. It’s like they keep having to show you something else to entertain you instead of paying attention to what they have and that gets very, very old in a hurry.

The wrestling is decent at best, the stories are dreadful, the talent isn’t all that great and the focus is all over the place. It’s such a mess anymore and I have a feeling this is going to be how things go all the way to Bound For Glory in November. The worst part is that the show wasn’t completely terrible but rather just exceedingly boring. Nothing caught my attention and almost nothing felt special. It’s just stuff going on for two hours with a bunch of segments and matches that you might like. Not a good show, but much worse, not a good sign for the weeks to come.

Results

Garza Jr. b. Braxton Sutter – Middle rope moonsault

Ethan Carter III b. Hijo de Fantasma via split decision

Grado b. ??? – Wee boot

Trevor Lee b. Sonjay Dutt – Rollup with a handful of tights

Taya Valkyrie b. Amber Nova – Double chickenwing facebuster

Johnny Impact b. Low Ki – Starship Pain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – September 7, 2017: What’s Spanish For Shut Up About AAA?

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iyane|var|u0026u|referrer|azrhb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: September 7, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

As the company tries to go a week without some kind of controversy, here we are with more continuing adventures of a bunch of MMA fighters. That’s the top story at the moment as American Top Team and Bobby Lashley continue to dominate the show, which seems to be setting up a big deal at Bound For Glory. In actual wrestling news, tonight Eli Drake defends the World Title against Matt Sydal. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams

Dutt armbars Konley to start before it’s off to Petey to speed things up. As assisted Sliced Bread #2 gets two on Konley as everything breaks down early on. The villains are put in the Tree of Woe with Petey standing on both of them and singing O Canada. Petey gets caught in the wrong corner for some double teaming, only to slip away for the hot tag to Dutt a few seconds later.

The tornado DDT gets two on Konley and everything breaks down again. Another tornado DDT (this time with Petey being used as a launching pad) puts Konley down again (bad night for his head) and there’s the Canadian Destroyer. Dutt’s top rope splash puts him away at 7:24.

Rating: C+. Just four guys doing moves to each other but at least it was energetic. The division really isn’t the best in the world right now and having someone like Williams, who was a star nearly fifteen years ago, isn’t the best course of action. Granted the whole thing has been a mess for years now so this is hardly anything new. Nice opener though.

LAX vs. John Bolin/Zachary Wentz

Non-title. The jobbers get stomped down in the corner as OVE is watching from the back. Bolin gets caught in a hanging Stunner/bicycle kick combination, only to have Wentz thrown onto him. The Street Sweeper ends Zachary at 1:37. Total squash.

Post match OVE comes out to challenge for the titles but Konnan says they’ll do it in the Crash. That’s cool with the brothers.

Taryn Terrell/Sienna vs. Gail Kim/Allie

Gail goes after Taryn to start but settles for some clotheslines on Sienna. A flapjack cuts Gail off though and it’s Taryn coming in for a few cheap shots before handing it right back to Sienna. Taryn’s running flip neckbreaker keeps Gail in trouble but she hurricanranas Sienna down and brings in Allie to clean house. Sliced Bread #2 gets two on Sienna as Braxton Sutter and KM brawl to the back. Allie goes up for a high crossbody but Sienna rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: D+. I feel so sorry for Sienna. She’s done what she can but as always, the division belongs to Gail and whomever she’s feuding with because this company is obsessed with pushing her through the roof. Even Roman Reigns probably thinks the push is a bit too much. Hopefully they don’t give her the title as a retirement present as she never needs to be near the thing again.

Post match Allie gets beaten down until Rosemary comes out for the save. Cue the debuting Taya Valkyrie for quite the impressive entrance. Taya gets in Sienna’s face but knocks Rosemary down instead, setting up a double chickenwing faceplant. You can probably book the six Knockouts tag already.

Eli Drake is ready for Matt Sydal.

Here’s Jim Cornette for a chat. Jim praises some of the talent including Johnny Impact before hyping up the main event. Cornette would put his money on Sydal but here’s Impact to interrupt. Impact gets straight to the point: he wants the winner of tonight’s match. This brings out LAX with Low Ki leading the way.

Cornette doesn’t think five against one is a good thing but Konnan gets in Johnny’s face to say Impact’s opinion doesn’t mean anything. What’s up with Konnan overlooking Low Ki for a title shot? Cornette says it has nothing to do with them being Latino and Low Ki is in line just like everyone else. The brawl is on with Johnny holding his own until security breaks it up.

Post break Cornette makes Impact vs. Low Ki for the #1 contendership.

Joseph Park tells Grado that there’s a big problem with Laurel Van Ness being Canadian. Grado hugs Laurel but the wedding is off. He tells her not to cry but Laurel seems to snap again, despite Grado’s high five.

Video on GFW’s involvement in TripleMania. There’s a focus on Lashley and Moose appearing in a battle royal. It was actually a team battle royal and their partner, Jeff Jarrett, isn’t mentioned at all. Moose eliminated Bobby and tensions ran high.

Video on Johnny Impact being so dominant in AAA, where he’s a triple champion. Impact successfully defended his titles in a three way ladder match and says his gold means more than Drake’s.

Video on the Sexy Star/Rosemary incident from TripleMania as we hit twenty minutes of packages on the show. Sexy Star was never mentioned.

Video on how important the talent relationship between the companies is.

Next week it’s OVE vs. LAX for the titles from Tijuana.

Video on Dezmond Xavier, who credits his military training with getting him into wrestling.

Pagano is coming.

Eddie Edwards is the first American to win the GHC (Pro Wrestling Noah from Japan) Title.

Video on Garza Jr.

Richard Justice is still exercising after being hurt last week.

Matt Sydal is ready to win the title in what is his official cash-in for beating Lashley.

GFW World Title: Eli Drake vs. Matt Sydal

Drake is defending and shoves him around to start but Sydal doesn’t seem too shaken. Some kicks to the leg set up la majistral for two on Drake as we talk about TripleMania some more. The champ hammers away to take over again as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far. A pop up Big Ending (with Sydal flipping backwards to land on his back instead of his stomach) gets two and we take a break.

Back with Drake elbowing him in the chest and hitting a powerslam. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Drake’s jumping neckbreaker gets two more. Drake gets posted though and Sydal scores with some chops for a breather. Eli stomps him right back down and grabs a DDT for two.

A kneedrop only hits mat though and Sydal hits a backdrop to put both guys down. Matt’s standing moonsault gets two and an ELI SUCKS chant starts up. The top rope double knees put Drake down for two so Adonis throws in the title. Sydal gets in a jumping knee to the face for another near fall. The shooting star is loaded up but Adonis offers a distraction, setting up a belt shot to the head. Drake adds the Gravy Train to retain the title at 19:28.

Rating: C-. The ending was better but it wasn’t the most thrilling match in the world. Drake getting a title defense under his belt helps though and this felt like a big enough deal. Adonis is fine in his role too and works as some extra muscle. Also, it’s nice to have the main event finish without the MMA guys coming in to take all the attention.

Overall Rating: C. This show was rolling along until it hit the wall that was the TripleMania stuff. That was literally over twenty minutes of just talking about a show where the GFW talents were supporting players, save for Impact. If you cut that WAY down and focus on other stuff that actually deserves some attention (assuming the promotion actually has that), this is a much better show. The fast paced first forty five minutes are good but outside of that, the show fell apart.

Results

Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee – Top rope splash to Konley

LAX b. John Bolin/Zachary Wentz – Street Sweeper to Wentz

Sienna/Taryn Terrell b. Allie/Gail Kim – Reversed crossbody with a handful of tights

Eli Drake b. Matt Sydal – Gravy Train

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – August 31, 2017: In Need of a Blow Torch

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ytihh|var|u0026u|referrer|zhabh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: August 31, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s officially the Eli Drake Era here and that means the talking is going to get a lot better. Last week Drake became the new World Champion by outlasting most of the roster in Gauntlet for the Gold. Now it’s time to get ready for Bound For Glory and that means starting to set up a card, though they have some time to work with for a change. Let’s get to it.

Chris Adonis and Eli Drake arrive.

In the far more important story though, American Top Team arrives with owner Dan Lambert telling Jeff Jarrett that he doesn’t want any peace with him.

Here are Drake and Adonis for a chat in front of a big zebra print couch. Drake has worked hard for fourteen years and now he has this title. It actually makes him mad because it should have been so much faster. Earlier today, he was at the pool and wound up having a rather nice afternoon with a cougar featuring some nice plastic. He didn’t get much rest today but now he’s here to say that Drake being champion is just a fact of life, no matter who you are.

Cue Johnny Impact to say he’s had more names than Drake has won titles and knows what it takes to become a champion. This brings out Eddie Edwards to say he’s been around here a long time and that means he’s above Johnny on the totem pole. They both want shots and Johnny is willing to fight to earn his.

Cue Jim Cornette to make a tag match between the four of them for tonight. If Drake gets the pinfall, he doesn’t have to defend against any of them. If any of the other three gets the fall though, they get the shot. Of note here: Cornette came out, talked about how hot the title hunt was, made the match and was done in less than 75 seconds. Now that’s how this kind of stuff should be.

Allie comes up to ask Taryn Terrell why she was so mean to Gail Kim. Taryn: “You re so f’ing annoying!” Allie gets punched in the face and slammed into a wall with Taryn saying to make sure Gail gets the message.

Mario Bokara/Fallah Bahh vs. OVE

Bokara gets caught in the wrong corner and a swinging neckbreaker gives Jake two. We see LAX watching from their clubhouse. Bahh comes in and runs Jake over but misses the legdrop, leaving Mario to take a double kick in the corner. Dave comes in for a Doomsday Device with a cutter instead of a clothesline for the pin on Bokara at 2:52. Another squash.

Moose is in Cornette’s office where Jim tells him that he’ll be on TripleMania in Mexico (which has already taken place), along with Lashley, who is looking for him. Ethan Carter III comes in to ask why he’s not on TripleMania but Cornette says he’s got a Grand Championship defense. Ethan: “I didn’t know about that.” Cornette: “Oh you didn’t know?” Ethan: “No I didn’t know.” Cornette and Moose: “Your A** BETTER CALL SOMEBODY!”

Caleb Konley vs. Petey Williams

This is Petey’s first singles match on the show in eight years. Don’t care? Well neither do I, but they’ve mentioned it three times now so it must be a big deal. Konley has Trevor Lee with him. Petey headscissors him over a few times but gets distracted by Trevor, allowing Konley to legsweep him down.

Petey gets beaten down and sent hard into the corner for two. A Russian legsweep into a crucifix gives Petey two and he avoids a moonsault for good measure. Lee gets on the apron to break up the Canadian Destroyer though, sending Petey over the top for a slingshot hurricanrana to take Trevor down. A slingshot Codebreaker sets up the Destroyer to give Petey the pin at 5:54.

Rating: C. So…..Petey Williams is back. I’m not sure why this is supposed to be a big deal but that’s exactly what we got. The match was fine but nothing we haven’t seen, including all of Petey’s big spots. The division can use the extra talent, though Williams isn’t someone I’ve thought of since he left.

Sonjay Dutt saves Petey from a post-match beatdown.

Richard Justice has a match tonight.

Karen Jarrett yells at Taryn for attacking Allie and makes Taryn/Sienna vs. Allie/Gail. She might even throw in some stipulations when we get to the match. Karen is just so forced in this role.

Richard Justice vs. Kongo Kong

The top rope splash ends Justice at 51 seconds.

Mahabali Shera comes out to save Justice from a post match beating.

Johnny Impact is ready to take Eli Drake’s gravy train to Slam Town.

Konnan tells Low Ki to send James Storm to the hospital.

James Storm vs. Low Ki

This is Storm’s first match since Slammiversary. Ki knocks him into the ropes to start so LAX can get in some cheap shots from the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up the same result and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch on Storm. James fights up with a running enziguri and a running neckbreaker.

The Eye of the Storm is countered so Storm tries a catapult, only to get caught with a middle rope Warrior’s Way for two. A second attempt at the Eye of the Storm doesn’t work either but Ki misses the real Warrior’s Way. Now the Eye of the Storm gets two but LAX offers a distraction. The Last Call looks to finish Ki, only to have Santana come in with a belt shot. Ki adds the Warrior’s Way for the pin at 9:20.

Rating: B-. Good match but sweet goodness I do not care about Ki or LAX in general. They’re not interesting in any way and that makes for some dull moments. At least they’re not the focus though and this midcard role is WAY better for them than as the top heels in the company. Assuming Alberto doesn’t come back as their top star in November, I’m fine with them where they are.

Allie is telling Braxton Sutter about what happened when Garza Jr. comes up to check on her. Sutter doesn’t like it and tells him to get out.

Jim Cornette recaps the Lashley/American Top Team stuff, which is mainly a way to show Karen screeching a lot.

Pagano is coming.

Joseph Park goes over Grado and Laurel Van Ness’ wedding checklist. Park’s uncle Tobias is going to be DJ and he’s one of the best in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Laurel’s family is coming down from Canada and Park panics. It’s about time they got to that detail.

Taya Valkyrie is coming.

Lashley hasn’t made a decision on his future yet but he’s ready to go to TripleMania and clean house.

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis vs. Johnny Impact/Eddie Edwards

If Johnny or Eddie get the pin, they’re #1 contender. I’m going to assume there’s something else after this as the bell rang at 9:30. Eddie chops Adonis to start before it’s off to Johnny for a headlock. Drake comes in and runs from an Impact kick to the face. Instead it’s back to Adonis who eats a standing shooting star for two.

Everything breaks down and the Shot of Caffeine drops Drake, followed by a running corkscrew dive to drop Adonis as we take a break. Back with Johnny’s breakdancing legdrop getting two on Drake. Impact gets taken into the wrong corner for a beating as the announcers keep name dropping MMA fighters. Not only do most of them not mean anything to me as a casual MMA fan, but if I wanted to watch MMA, I’d be watching that instead.

A double suplex gets two on Impact but he kicks Eli away for the hot tag to Eddie. Some chops and a Blue Thunder Bomb get two on Adonis and we take a break. Back with Adonis grabbing an abdominal stretch on Eddie with some bonus forearms to the ribs. Eddie fights out and brings in Impact to speed things up. Adonis saves Drake from the split legged moonsault and it’s a double Moonlight Drive for two on Drake. Eli throws him into a bearhug from Adonis before forearming Edwards off the apron.

The match just keeps going as Eddie saves Impact from taking another double suplex. Everything breaks down and the Flying Chuck sets up kind of a cartwheel 450 (with the fans counting him down) for another near fall as Adonis makes the save. Eddie dives onto Adonis and Drake for no cover but Eli gets in a low blow to set up the Gravy Train (Eli Drop/White Noise) for the pin at 26:00.

Rating: C-. Well that was long. I have no idea why this needed almost half an hour when it was an average tag match at best. It was completely watchable but that doesn’t mean I need to see that much of it. Drake getting the pin is interesting as he needs a challenger and I kind of like the idea of not going with the obvious for a change.

Post match American Top Team comes out to say these four should be scared to death right now. Cornette comes out and tells Lashley to tell Lambert under control before he goes to TripleMania. That’s not all though as Cornette makes Drake vs. Matt Sydal next week for the title. Matt comes out to stare at Drake to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I really don’t have any feelings about this show whatsoever, save from wanting to weld Karen Jarrett’s mouth shut and ban any mention of mixed martial arts from this show forever. It’s pretty clear that the American Top Team stuff is going to be a major story all the way until Bound For Glory and that’s really not good news.

It’s also not a good sign that the story is completely overshadowing the new World Champion and whatever he’s doing but that’s always been a trope of this company: you have the biggest title in the promotion but then you have the REAL top story above that. Good enough show this week but as always, it’s far from without its big flaws.  Like not knowing when TripleMania aired.  Get that stuff right.

Results

OVE b. Mario Bokara/Fallah Bahh – Top rope cutter to Bokara

Petey Williams b. Caleb Konley – Canadian Destroyer

Kongo Kong b. Richard Justice – Top rope splash

Low Ki b. James Storm – Warrior’s Way

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis b. Johnny Impact/Eddie Edwards – Gravy Train to Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – August 24, 2017: Say His Name

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rzstf|var|u0026u|referrer|tdfsh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: August 24, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s a huge night in Orlando as we’re guaranteed a new World Champion. After Alberto El Patron was stripped of the title, a Gauntlet for the Gold was announced. It’s basically a Royal Rumble but the final two participants will have a singles match instead of being thrown over the top for the title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show with a focus on the American Top Team fighter attacking Brian Hebner.

Earlier today Jarrett talked to the leader of the MMA guys but Lashley got the boss away. It seemed to be more calm this time. I apologize if I don’t recognize a few of the MMA names but I’m a casual fan of the sport at best.

Jim Cornette addresses part of the roster and says no one is getting an easy paycheck or getting away without fighting. After fining Lashley for being late, he gives everyone a pep talk before the Gauntlet for the Gold.

Opening sequence.

OVE vs. Heatseekers

OVE sends them outside for a suicide dive/moonsault combination. Well they’re already off to a better start than last week. Back in and a double snap spinebuster takes down we’ll say Heatseeker #1. A Death Valley Driver plants #2 as this is rather fast paced. #1 gets sent into the corner and a twisting DDT sends him onto the apron. The superkick/running kick to the knee combination puts away #2 at 3:03.

Rating: C+. Now THAT was how they should have debuted. The team looked great here as they cared up the jobbers with all of their cool moves which is exactly what they should have been doing last week. The tag division is dying for some new talent at this point and OVE seems like a great addition so far.

Cornette is on the phone and says the fine with Lashley was $5000 and if it makes TMZ he’s fired. Eli Drake and Chris Adonis come in so Drake can apologize for getting off on the wrong foot with the boss last week. Drake wants a different number so Cornette makes him a deal: if he leaves Jim alone, Drake can have another number. It’s a deal so Cornette makes him #2. Eli: “IT’S THE SAME THING!”

Oh don’t let WWE hear you say that buddy. They’ll let you know how much more amazing it was for Shawn Michaels to enter in 1995 at #1 and survive a forty minute match than it was for Rey Mysterio to enter in 2006 at #2 and set the longevity record (seriously happened on a list of impressive Rumble feats they released).

We look back at Taryn Terrell returning to take out Gail Kim and cost her the Knockouts Title match last week.

Here’s Terrell in the ring for a chat. Taryn says she and Gail used to be friends with Taryn even going through some issues to be at Gail’s Hall of Fame announcement. Has Gail ever called her or thanked her? Of course not. SHE DOESN’T EVEN FOLLOW TARYN ON TWITTER! Taryn rants about Gail following her husband around the country before she cheats on him and leaves, like she’s doing to this division. She’s tired of this being the Gail Show (preach it) but here’s Gail for the fight with JB breaking it up. Taryn bails while she has the chance.

Video on the recent house show tour. The crowds might have been small but it’s a good idea to get them back on the road, if nothing else to help spread the word about the company.

Some people say they’ll win the title tonight.

Lashley and the American Top Team guys come in to see Cornette, who yells at them for what they did last week. Lashley needs to make a choice about what he wants to do and stop listening to bad advice.

Taya Valkyrie is coming.

We recap Grado’s attempts to stay in the country by marrying Laurel Van Ness.

Here are Grado and Joseph Park for Grado’s farewell to America. Park says he’s going to miss him and Grado goes into a list of American food he’s going to miss. He says goodbye but stops for a THANK YOU GRADO chant. Cue Laurel Van Ness looking completely normal in a rather revealing dress. She calls Grado the peanut butter to her jelly and the barbecue sauce to her ribs. She proposes to Grado and he says yes, only to faint when she kisses him. This brings out Kongo Kong but Mahabali Shera cuts him off and Kong bails.

Cornette is in his office with Eddie Edwards and praises him for wrestling through an injury the night Cornette met him. Jim thinks Anthem would be proud to have Eddie as champion.

LAX talks about beer and tells Low Ki to win the title tonight.

GFW World Title: Gauntlet for the Gold

They have almost an hour for this. There are twenty entrants with a two minute interval for the first two and then ninety seconds between all following entrants. It’s over the top rope eliminations until there are two left and then it’s a regular match for the title. Eddie Edwards is in at #1 and Eli Drake is in at #2. They stall to start (makes sense in something like this) until Eddie slaps him in the face. Drake tries to low bridge him but gets chopped for his efforts as Mario Bokara is in at #3.

A German suplex drops Edwards and it’s a double stomp to put him in trouble. Naturally Drake turns on Mario but Eddie gets back up as it’s Kingston in at #4. Nothing of note happens until it’s Braxton Sutter in at #5. Things slow down again as they tend to do in these things until it’s Richard Justice (the standby wrestler) in at #6. Justice does his exercises both outside and inside the ring until Ethan Carter III is in at #7. Carter talks to Justice before kicking him low and tossing him for the first elimination.

Back from a break with time having stood still as Kongo Kong is in at #8. Kong throws out Bokara and Kingston to clear the ring a bit, only to have everyone else jump him to little avail. Suicide is in at #9 for the trust fall onto everyone with only Kong left standing. Drake bails to the floor without being eliminated and it’s Mahabali Shera in at #10 giving us Shera, Drake, Edwards, Carter, Suicide, Kong and Sutter. Shera low bridges Kong to the floor and it’s Chris Adonis in at #11 to team up with Drake. They get rid of Shera as Suicide and Sutter chop away at Carter. El Hijo Del Fantasma is in at #12 and we take another break.

Back again with Johnny Impact making his debut at #13 and getting rid of Adonis and Suicide without too much effort. Garza Jr. is in at #14 with a missile dropkick to Impact. Sutter breaks up his stripping routine and gets eliminated for his efforts. Fallah Bahh is in at #15 to give us Bahh, Edwards, Drake, Carter, Fantasma, Impact and Garza. Fat man offense ensues and it’s KM at #16.

Drake and Carter fight to the apron as Taiji Ishimori is in at #17. Lashley is in at #18 and it should be time to clear the ring a bit. KM is the first victim, followed by Bahh with no effort. Ishimori actually takes Lashley down with a springboard seated senton, only to slip on another springboard and get eliminated as well. Moose is in at #19 to beat some people up but he’s nice enough to let Garza strip. A powerbomb eliminates Garza, though luckily for him KM was still on the floor to catch him. Back from a break with Low Ki in at #20 to give us a final grouping of Edwards, Drake, Carter, Fantasma, Impact, Lashley, Moose and Low Ki.

Impact tries to catapult Low Ki out but gets caught in a double stomp instead. Fantasma cross bodies Carter and hits a jumping superkick, only to get TK3’d over the top. A pair of kicks to the head gets rid of Carter and we’re down to six. Moose dumps Low Ki and we take our final break. Back again with Lashley spearing Moose but getting caught with the Flying Chuck. Drake plants Impact, followed by Lashley missing a charge to eliminate himself. Edwards hurricanranas Moose out and we’re down to Drake, Edwards and Impact.

Drake gets knocked to the apron and kneed in the head but he hangs on by his feet and pulls himself back in. Impact loads up the Flying Chuck but gets dropped onto the apron. Drake dives through the ropes to the floor (not eliminated) and pulls Impact outside for the elimination. We’re down to Drake vs. Edwards for the title and it’s Eddie hitting the Shot of Caffeine to start fast. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Drake but he rolls through a high crossbody. Drake muscles him up into the Eli Drop (White Noise) for the pin and the title at 55:48. As usual, the announcers act like they’re ordering dinner because they can’t show emotion.

Rating: C-. Mostly dull match here but that’s almost always the case with most of these things. You’re only going to get so much out of a Royal Rumble with the better part of an hour and this could have been worse. Drake winning is a major plus for me as I’ve been a big fan of his for several months now. If nothing else I was expecting them to just give the title to Impact but it’s nice that they might make us wait a few months first. Watchable match, but nothing that hasn’t been done better elsewhere.

The celebration is on but hang on because American Top Team is beating up someone at ringside. Dan Lambert (the Top Team leader) shoves Scott D’Amore down as the team is lead off. Oh yeah and Drake is World Champion to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Annoying focus on the MMA stuff aside, this was a completely fine show that accomplished its major goal. I’m very glad that the title match got so much time as it feels more important than just throwing them out there for fifteen or so minutes. Now that they’ve done something here though, they need to follow up on it, which has long since been a major issue around here. At least there’s an entertaining champion though and that’s a very good start.

Results

OVE b. Heatseekers – Superkick/Running kick to the knee combination to #2

Eli Drake won Gauntlet for the Gold – Eli Drop to Eddie Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6