Impact Wrestling – January 6, 2022: Mediocre New Year!

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 6, 2022
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

We’re back after two weeks off for the first show of the year but it is also the go home show for Hard To Kill. Last year ended with Matt Cardona accidentally hitting his fiance Chelsea Green in the head with a chair, thanks to Moose. That is not going to sit well and now it might be time for revenge. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at the contract signing when Matt Cardona accidentally chaired Chelsea Green down.

Opening sequence.

Tasha Steelz/Lady Frost/Chelsea Green vs. Rachael Ellering/Jordynne Grace/Rosemary

Well I guess Green is ok. Savannah Evans and Havok are the seconds here. Ellering headlocks Steelz to start before taking her down without much trouble. A gutwrench toss into the corner brings Frost in so Ellering shoulders her down in a hurry. It’s off to Rosemary vs. Steelz, with the latter being knocked into the corner in a hurry. A sliding clothesline gives Rosemary two and the Upside Down goes on.

The seconds get in a bit of a fight on the floor but it doesn’t seem to matter as Ellering beats up Steelz even more. It’s off to Frost, who gets beaten up again so Green comes in for a change. Green kicks Ellering to the floor and that means a big dive onto the pile. Frost dives onto all of them and it’s Ellering and Green going back inside. Ellering can’t get a fireman’s carry so Green hits the Unprettier for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: C. This was pretty much one sided until Green came in and more or less dominated. That made it a great showcase for her, but there is only so much you can do in a six woman tag without much time. Also, I’m assuming we are going to get something else about her chair shot, because that’s kind of a big thing to leave hanging.

Video on Moose and his path of destruction on the way to the World Title.

Moose is ready to hurt Matt Cardona and W. Morrissey to stay champion. He isn’t going to complain about the numbers game because he is too awesome to do that.

Hard To Kill rundown.

Trailer for The Free Fall, a movie sponsoring Hard To Kill.

Jonah vs. Jake Something

Jonah powers him into the corner to start before grinding away on a headlock. Jake is back with some shoulders, including a flying one to drop Jonah as we take a break. Back with Jonah working on a waistlock but Jake fights out and shoulders Jonah to the floor. The big dive takes Jonah down and they head back inside so Jake can hammer away. Jonah isn’t having that and blasts him with a hard clothesline. The top rope splash (Striker: “Like a Tsunami!”) finishes Jake at 6:37.

Rating: C+. There is something to be said about two strong wrestlers hitting each other really hard for a few minutes. Jonah could be a big deal around here, with that splash alone being worth a look. Other than that, you have Jake, who hasn’t been around long and could be something if he had a name that actually sounded good.

Post match here is Josh Alexander to go after Jonah but Jonah runs him over. Jonah grabs a table and drives it into Alexander’s already bad ribs, setting up the top rope splash to put Alexander through said table.

Video on Deonna Purrazzo vs. Mickie James in a Texas Deathmatch at Hard To Kill.

Masha Slamovich vs. Sandra Moore

Slamovich strikes away and finishes with a scoop brainbuster at 43 seconds. Well that was an effective debut.

Steve Maclin is ready for his one on one X-Division Title match at Hard To Kill. Gail Kim comes in to say if Maclin loses, he never gets another shot.

We get a sitdown interview between Chelsea Green and Matt Cardona. Green says she is fine after the chair shot because she is a wrestler and has taken worse. She is worried about how it is going to impact Matt’s chances at winning the World Title. Green talks about how great Cardona is and knows she is looking at the next World Champion. Cardona seems happy.

Mercedes Martinez vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Mickie James is on commentary and Matthew Rehwoldt is in Purrazzo’s corner. Purrazzo jumps Martinez during her entrance and we start in a hurry. The beating is on in the corner and Purrazzo stomps away while working on the arm. Martinez fights up but gets taken right back down without much effort.

Purrazzo stays on the arm before going off to a chinlock. That’s broken up and Martinez snaps off a spinebuster for two and they head to the apron. Something like a spear takes Purrazzo down and we go to a break. Back with Martinez forearming away and snapping off a half and half suplex. Some knees to the face give Martinez two more and the Air Raid Crash connects….only to have Purrazzo reverse into the Venus de Milo for the tap at 13:39.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going and Martinez only got to do a little bit near the end. That being said, Purrazzo needed to win here as she has the big title match coming up on Saturday. At the same time, Martinez has been signed to AEW and doesn’t need to win here, so this was about as logical of a path as they had.

Post match Purrazzo and James have the big staredown because they still can’t make contact.

The IInspiration are ready for their new talk show, All About II, with Jai with an I. They mock the Influence, who come in to accuse them of ripping off their talk show. Yelling and hair pulling ensues. The Influence goes after the belts but that’s too far and the IInspiration leave.

Josh Alexander is pretty banged up after Jonah attacked him earlier.

Madman Fulton/Ace Austin vs. Hernandez/Johnny Swinger

Austin and Fulton jump them from behind to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Hernandez takes Swinger into the corner and the villains start taking turns beating him up. Swinger finally crawls through Fulton’s legs and brings in Hernandez with the slingshot shoulder. That’s about it for the offense though as Fulton hits a swinging Downward Spiral, setting up an assisted splash to give Austin the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D+. This was short and to the point as it is easy to watch Swinger getting beaten up. Swinger is one of the best comedy goofs on the show and you can have him do this over and over. Austin and Fulton are a fine team, though it would be nice to see Austin winning something here or there.

Post match the beating stays on, with Swinger leaving as Hernandez’s arm is crushed with a chair.

W. Morrissey says he didn’t have anyone to help him get back from rock bottom. He doesn’t know why he wanted to be partners with Moose because he is better on his own. He doesn’t need fans or friends, because on Saturday, he will be winning the World Title alone. Just like he likes it.

Hard To Kill rundown.

Heath vs. Karl Anderson

The winner’s team gets the advantage in Saturday’s Hardcore War and the rest of the teams are all here too. The brawl on the floor is teased at the bell so the referee ejects everyone but the two inside as we take a break. Back with Anderson being sent into the corner and out to the floor, where Heath is sent into the steps.

They head back inside with Heath’s arm being sent into the buckle so Anderson can grab the armbar. That’s broken up and Heath slugs away, setting up an atomic drop for two. Anderson uses a referee distraction to take Heath down by the arm again. The Gun Stun finishes Heath at 10:42.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here and the ending isn’t exactly the biggest surprise. That’s a fine way to go and the villain getting the win is the right way to go. At the same time though, you’re only going to be able to get so much out of Anderson vs. Heath in a ten minute match. It wasn’t terrible, but at least they did what they needed to do.

Post match everyone else comes in and the big brawl is on with all of the weapons coming in. Striker runs down the card again as the fight is still on to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They got through their stuff here and it was an acceptable enough way to set up Hard To Kill. The show is going to be good enough and that’s what matters. It was weird to not get more of a build towards the main event, but that has been covered enough in recent weeks. Mostly skippable show, though I want to see Hard To Kill so they have done something right.

Results
Tasha Steelz/Lady Frost/Chelsea Green b. Rachael Ellering/Jordynne Grace/Rosemary – Unprettier to Ellering
Jonah b. Jake Something – Top rope splash
Masha Slamovich b. Sandra Moore – Scoop brainbuster
Deonna Purrazzo b. Mercedes Martinez – Venus de Milo
Ace Austin/Madman Fulton b. Hernandez/Johnny Swinger – Splash to Hernandez
Karl Anderson b. Heath – Gun Stun

 

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – November 25, 2021: They Made A Sequel!

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 25, 2021
Commentators: James Mitchell, Dr. Ross, Sinn Bodhi

So it’s Thanksgiving and that means things are going to be a little different around here. Since Impact Wrestling is smart enough to realize that a TV show on Thanksgiving isn’t going to draw so well, this is going to be a special look at the second season of Wrestle House. In other words, it’s the wrestling version of a reality show, whose first season was a mixture of a lot of fun and near torture at times. Let’s get to it.

A rhyming narrator (sounds like James Mitchell) welcomes us to Wrestle House and we recap the first season, featuring a bunch of people who have not been around much lately. This ultimately led to Rosemary nearly marrying John E. Bravo, Tommy Dreamer, then a shooting at the wedding, an investigation, more Tommy Dreamer, the rise of Swinger’s Palace, the closing of Swinger’s Palace and then Bravo sending everyone here so Swinger can be happy. I think we can say this is the most intricate story in Impact in a long time, and points to whoever is putting it together because they are clearly having a blast.

The cast figures out they are on a reality show and Johnny Swinger goes on a rant about how bad this place in. Last time it was like Brutus Beefcake stabbing Cesar Romero on a Coliseum Video. Swinger tries to escape but sees his greatest fear: the ghosts of rizats past! Then he marches away like a Bushwhacker.

Everyone else wants to leave, but Rosemary says they have to stay until Swinger is happy. It doesn’t sit well that they are all here because of JOHNNY SWINGER. Does anyone here even like him? Then Chris Sabin comes out in a towel, much to Swingerella #1’s delight. People head off to find their rooms and Rosemary has an apple.

Back from a break and the cast, minus Swinger, tries to figure out how to make Swinger happy. Kaleb With A K makes reality show references no one else gets and here is Sabin again, complete with a lot of steam and in slow motion. Kaleb With A K calls him out on the slow motion/steam/towel/abs so a fight is teased, but John E. Bravo is told he can’t say MATCH TIME. They need a new catchphrase and Sabin’s “I Love This Match” will seem to do.

Chris Sabin vs. Kaleb With A K

Suddenly they’re in gear and Sabin dizzifies him with a bunch of armdrags. Kaleb With A K flips him over into the Rings of Saturn but it’s the Cradle Shock (in slow motion because reasons) to give Sabin the pin at 2:01.

Back in the house, Swinger is doing Tae Bo.

Now it’s time to cook but Madison Rayne freaks out because no one else is trying to escape. Decay says they have to leave for their Knockouts Tag Team Title match at Turning Point. Rayne doesn’t like this but Sabin, who walks down the steps in slow motion, though at least now wearing pants, has a match too.

We go to the living room, where Alisha Edwards and Rayne have a plan on how to get out of here. They have a tape, from the original Throwback Throwdown event (imagine if Southpaw Regional Wrestling had a full show). We see some clips of Julian Cummerbund vs. Downtown Daddy Brown (Ethan Page vs. Willie Mack) as the women try to explain what the heck this is. Swinger loves this stuff, so maybe seeing his old friends will make him happy.

A blindfolded Swinger is brought into the living room, along with a blindfolded Brown…and they’re ready to tear each other apart. Swinger tried to hook up with his daughter and that means it’s time for Brown to come out of retirement. Alisha: “A Downtown Daddy Brown match in 2021???” Swinger: “We can’t wait until 2021! Let’s do it right now!” Sabin comes in for the catchphrase and we’re on.

Johnny Swinger vs. Downtown Daddy Brown

The match is in the morning, as Brown’s gout was acting up. Brown punches his way off of the ropes and Swinger is caught in the ropes like a see saw, as powered by Brown’s right hands. Swinger gets in a shot to the eye but Brown punches him out of the air (Bodhi: “BREADBASKET!”). The referee (Bravo) gets bumped so Swinger grabs Brown’s cane for a shot to the throat and a near fall. Brown is right back up with a jumping elbow for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: C. I have no idea how to rate most of these and I think that is going to be a running theme. It’s not meant to be a competitive match and one guy is probably supposed to be in his mid 60s, so they were limited in what they were able to do. In other words, it’s perfect for Swinger and this was worth at least a chuckle for his antics alone.

Swingerella #1 checks on Swinger and Brown is transported to…..Perkins. I could go for some Perfect.

Swinger tells the cast that he’ll never cheer up and everyone is stuck here with him.

The non-Swinger cast is annoyed and Madison Rayne blames Rosemary for not blinking them out of here. Kaleb With A K busts out a roll of tape and it’s everyone who wants to stay vs. everyone who wants to go, with each team getting a side. A big tag match is set, but Alisha wants Eddie Edwards on her team. They snap him in, though he comes in from another room for the sake of an entrance. That means the cast sings his entrance song, which is quite the cute moment.

Rosemary/Havok/Crazzy Steve/Black Taurus/Chris Sabin vs. Madison Rayne/Kaleb With A K/Hernandez/Alisha Edwards/Eddie Edwards

The former team wants to help Swinger and the latter wants out, with the winners getting their way (I think?). Alisha yells at Rosemary to start, earning herself a trip to the mat and some shots to the face. Havok comes in for a double right hand so it’s off to Madison, who gets screamed at.

Madison tries an Irish whip and is quickly flattened so it’s off to Steve, who slugs it out with Eddie. Steve grabs a suplex so it’s off to Kaleb With A K, who is run over by Taurus. Alisha comes back in and jumps the also legal Rosemary, but neither can hit a suplex. Eventually all ten are trying for the same suplex but it turns into five brawls. Rosemary finally spears Alisha down for the pin at 4:09.

Rating: C-. This is what you’re going to be getting on this show and that isn’t the biggest surprise. At the end of the day, the show isn’t meant to be taken seriously (understatement) and the wrestling is certainly a part of that. It was nice to have some stakes, assuming that’s what was happening here. Commentary says all of ten words during a match so it’s not like they’re much help, so the details can be a little hazy.

Back in the house and Madison Rayne isn’t happy. Eddie Edwards gets a quick explanation of what is going on as Rosemary asks if Swingerella #1 has feelings for Johnny Swinger. Rosemary approves but they’re going to have to speak to someone.

Post break, Rosemary and Swingerella #1 go to see….someone we don’t see.

Everyone is around the pool table when Swinger comes in. After some coaxing, Swingerella #1 introduces her boyfriend: Lawrence D. (the serious Larry D., from the first season). Swinger isn’t impressed and leaves, as we find out that this is Lawrence’s house.

Opening sequence, complete with cast name cards.

The non-Swinger house has a new plan.

The plan seems to involve Locker Room Talk, with Madison Rayne bringing Swinger in as her co-host. Swinger is still sad though, as it’s hard being Johnny Parisi (his real name). He’s worried about a letter from McDevitt! Madison brings in the guest: Gene Simmons of KISS. Actually it’s the Demon, but Swinger doesn’t seem to know the difference. Swinger thinks the Demon is impersonating Simmons…who is clearly right here, because Swinger isn’t that bright. The Demon thinks Swinger needs to find true love and settle down, which gives Swinger something to think about.

Kaleb With A K wants people to use the confessional room.

Alisha and Eddie Edwards use the confessional room for married activities.

Johnny Swinger pops in to say that Eugene Simmons has told him to find love. Maybe it’s time for the Swingerella #1 to become his #1. Lawrence isn’t happy so Rosemary hits on him but Swinger is ready to fight anyway.

Johnny Swinger vs. Lawrence D.

They trade kicks to the ribs to start before Swinger goes to the eyes. Lawrence runs him over and hits a backbreaker but dives into a raised boot. Swinger takes the strap down and hammers away but Lawrence hits the Best Hand In The Business for….two, as referee Bravo accuses Lawrence of using his cologne to cheat. The distraction lets Swinger throw powder in Lawrence’s face and hit the swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 3:35.

Rating: C. The Lawrence D. stuff wasn’t funny the first time around but at least it’s some continuity for the continuation of Wrestle House. Swinger almost had to win a match on this thing and it even came with cheating. That’s about all you could expect here and it was so short that it wasn’t worth getting annoyed over in the first place.

Post match Swinger grabs the fanny pack and pulls out….a bunch of stuff, capped off by a ring. Swingerella #1 says yes and the kiss ensues. Rosemary comes in to say no one is going anywhere until we get to the altar.

Back in the house, Alisha yells at Eddie and tells him to take this seriously. Swinger, in leopard print, comes in to ask Hernandez to be his best man. He says sure, but thinks there is something fishy going on. Alisha is taking charge of the wardrobe plans.

Swingerella #1 and Swingerella #2 discuss dresses.

Hernandez overhears Rosemary and John E. Bravo discussing trading Bravo’s soul for an escape. That’s not cool with Hernandez, who gets caught in a match as a result.

Hernandez vs. Black Taurus

The not so reluctant Bravo is the referee and Taurus jumps Hernandez from behind to start fast. A low blow rocks Taurus though and Hernandez comes back with shoulders and clotheslines. The Border Toss is escaped though and a Rosemary distraction lets Taurus grab a rollup for the pin at 2:29.

Post match Rosemary touches Hernandez’s head and makes him think of LAX, which seems to erase his memory.

Back in the house, Hernandez has no idea what any of this is and only remembers Swinger as the ECW guy.

Eddie Edwards overhears Rosemary and Bravo talking about exchanging his virgin blood for an escape. Decay scares Eddie off though.

Kaleb With A K seems to dump Swingerella #2 for Madison Rayne. Sabin comes in and says he’s married but would love to go with Swingerella #2 as friends.

It’s wedding time and yes James Mitchell is ministering. We go straight to the vows and Swinger brags about all of the women he has had over the years. Swingerella #1 reveals that her name is Brunhilde, so Swinger says we’ll stick with Swingerella instead. Eddie tries to break it up but can’t talk (presumably due to magic) so Hernandez translates and reveals the plan. Rosemary: “Oops, we did it again.” A bunch of people: “FREE BRITNEY!”

Rosemary says Bravo is ready to satisfy that virgin blood….but Bravo reveals that he isn’t a virgin anymore! Swingerella #1 reveals that she was the one who changed Bravo’s status, but Swinger is thrilled because you never marry a rizat. Bravo offers to marry her instead (Sabin: “I love this match too.”) and the vows are exchanged.

Everyone sits down for Thanksgiving dinner and Swinger is happy for being free from rizats past.

It starts snowing and Sweet Daddy Brown comes in as Santa Claus, saying it’s time for Christmas.

The narrator suggests there is more coming later to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C+. What am I supposed to say about this? It’s a one off special, which was quite the surprise as I was expecting one big episode to start the new batch of stuff on the regular Impacts. For a one off wrestling related special, I had a good bit of fun with it, but it’s complete turn off your brain stuff. It’s self contained and I had a good time so we’ll call it a totally goofy pass. Whoever put this together is clearly having a great time with it and it’s the kind of silly wrestling fun that either doesn’t exist in WWE or has way too much history and in-jokes in AEW. Nice job, though a lot of people aren’t going to be thrilled.

Results
Chris Sabin b. Kaleb With A K – Cradle Shock
Downtown Daddy Brown b. Johnny Swinger
Rosemary/Havok/Crazzy Steve/Black Taurus/Chris Sabin b. Madison Rayne/Kaleb With A K/Hernandez/Alisha Edwards/Eddie Edwards – Spear to Alisha
Johnny Swinger b. Lawrence D. – Swinging neckbreaker
Black Taurus b. Hernandez – Rollup

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Impact Wrestling – November 18, 2021: We’ll Do It Again

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 18, 2021
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

It’s the go home show for Turning Point and that means we are likely getting the final push towards the show. There are a lot of things that still need to be fixed up but what matters now is making me want to watch. Impact has gotten a lot better at this sort of thing as of late and one last push could help a lot. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Eddie Edwards becoming #1 contender to Moose’s World Title.

Opening sequence.

Steve Maclin vs. Laredo Kid

If Maclin wins, he’s added to the X-Division Title match at Turning Point. Kid starts fast but gets rolled up for an early two. That means a standoff and the fans are rather pleased with what they are seeing. Maclin is sent outside but switches places in a hurry, meaning Kid is crushed by a big suicide dive. Back in and Kid flips out of a release German suplex but gets tied in the Tree of Woe.

A missed charge sends Maclin outside and that means a BIG dive from Kid for the knockdown. Back in and Kid hits a Michinoku Driver, setting up the multiple moonsaults for two. The top rope moonsault misses though and a running knee gives Maclin two. Kid’s cartwheel DDT doesn’t do much good as Maclin is right back with a running clothesline to put both of them down. Back up and Kid gets caught on top, setting up the spear in the Tree of Woe. Mayhem For All finishes Kid at 6:14.

Rating: C. This was the only way to go with the match as Maclin isn’t going to say that he wants into the title match, get a chance to get into the title match, and then lose. I’m not sure if Maclin is going to win the title, but it would certainly be a career making moment. That being said, Trey Miguel losing so soon after becoming champion isn’t a great idea so I’m not sure where to go. That’s a nice feeling to have so well done on putting something together.

Here’s what’s coming at Turning Point and tonight.

Brian Myers injured Sam Beale’s throat earlier tonight on BTI. Then a Conchairto made it worse.

Rich Swann isn’t happy with what Myers did and swears revenge at Turning Point.

Trey Miguel isn’t happy with the X-Division Title match being a triple threat but he’s ready for anything. He’s going to go out of his way to beat Maclin to retain the title.

Ace Austin isn’t interested in beating Chris Sabin again at Turning Point because, as the shirt says, he already beat Chris Sabin. Cue Chris Sabin to talk him into taking the challenge, but the brawl is on right now. Sabin manages to lock Austin and Madman Fulton in what looks to be a closet.

IInspiration vs. Undead Bridesmaids

Non-title. McKay can’t get very far with Lauren so it’s off to Kimber to take Cassie down by the leg. Back up and Cassie scores with a spinning kick to the head as we take a break. We come back with Kimber jawbreaking her way to freedom and handing it back to Lauren to clean house. A basement dropkick knocks Cassie out to the floor but she faceplants Lauren down. Kimber is knocked to the floor and it’s a belly to back suplex/powerbomb combination to finish Lauren at 9:11.

Rating: C-. Just a match here to give the IInspiration a TV win, which is a good idea. The team has a reputation from WWE but that is mainly for their talking. Let them get in the ring and show what they can do there as well, as it is kind of an important bonus. Now we can get on to the real showdown with Decay, which should be another nice boost for the champs.

Post match here is Decay for the big staredown, which has the IInspiration cowering in fear. Granted Decay surrounding them and screaming doesn’t help.

Flashback Moment of the Week (They still do those?): Rhino/Heath b. Reno Scum at Victory Road 2020.

Earlier this week, Chelsea Green became #1 contender to the Digital Media Title.

Chelsea Green is ready to win the title at Countdown To Turning Point. Matt Cardona is here too and wants the winner of Moose and Eddie Edwards at Turning Point. W. Morrissey comes in to say he’s in Cardona’s way. A Turning Point match is made between the two of them.

Eddie Edwards talks about his history with Moose….who jumps him from behind. They brawl into the arena, with Moose dropping him hard onto the apron twice in a row. Moose loads up a table but takes too long, allowing Eddie to grab a chair for some shots to the back. A running knee puts Moose on the table and it’s time for a ladder. That takes too long as well and Moose bails, with Eddie looking down at him from atop the ladder.

In the back, Moose says Eddie will see what he is capable of at Turning Point. Scott D’Amore comes in to make it Full Metal Mayhem (basically TLC).

Mercedes Martinez says she’s here to dominate the division and at Turning Point, she’s taking out Mickie James to win the Knockouts Title.

Hikuleo vs. Doc Gallows

The rest of Bullet Club and Karl Anderson are here too. Gallows goes right after him at the bell and the fight heads out to the floor. Hikuleo is sent face first into the apron but kicks away as they go back inside. An exchange of clotheslines don’t go anywhere so it’s a Bullet Club distraction, which allows Hikuleo to get in a low blow. That’s good for some near falls but Gallows isn’t having this being chopped thing.

The vest comes down though and now the chops have some more effect, setting up a splash for two more. We hit the chinlock, which is switched into a neck crank in a hurry. Back up and the double clothesline gives us a double knockdown for a double breather. Gallows is up first with a flying shoulder but Hikuleo runs him over as well. Anderson pops up onto the apron for a distraction, allowing Gallows to take the eyes. The chokebomb finishes Hikuleo at 6:35.

Rating: C. Pretty standard power brawl here so they followed an easy formula. That’s all they needed to do and it keeps the champs looking strong going into the title match. Add in some cheating to keep Hikuleo strong and this was pretty by the book stuff. The titles still need to change, though I’m not completely sure that they will.

We get a sitdown interview with Deonna Purrazzo, who is in all black, including large sunglasses, and has very little to say. She is contractually obligated to be here and owes no one an explanation about where she has been. Purrazzo finally goes into a bit of a rant as she says everyone is going to have to see what her next move is.

FinJuice isn’t happy with being knocked all the way back down to the bottom of the ladder. Scott D’Amore pops up to give them a match against Decay at Turning Point.

Eric Young asks what it is like to be truly free. Rhino knew real freedom but then he made a choice. That choice brings consequences and at Turning Point, Young promises to build a monument to violence over Rhino and Heath’s bodies.

Johnny Swinger/Hernandez/Fallah Bahh vs. Decay/Demon

Swinger starts with Black Taurus and yes, he busts out a red handkerchief for the bull charge. Somehow this works twice, but the third time sees Taurus hit Swinger in the face (as bulls tend to do). Crazzy Steve comes in and gets caught in Hernandez’s rocking slam. Bahh drops a big elbow but Steve bites Swinger’s arm, allowing the tag off to the Demon. With the rest of the ring cleared out, the Demon chokes Swinger for the tap at 3:10.

Rating: D+. This was your comic relief of the week and that is exactly why Swinger is in a match. They kept it short and to the point here so it’s hard to get annoyed in any way. Nothing to the match of course and I’m still not sure why the Demon of all people is here, but Swinger is such a charming goof that it’s hard not to smile.

Post break, Swinger passes John E. Bravo in the back, saying this must be rock bottom. Swinger leaves and Havok/Rosemary pop in. They’re willing to help Bravo help Swinger…for his virgin blood.

Jordynne Grace is ready for Chelsea Green. Rachael Ellering lists off all of Grace’s accomplishments.

Mickie James respected Mercedes Martinez but apparently they aren’t friends.

Turning Point rundown.

Minoru Suzuki vs. Josh Alexander

Alexander goes for the arm to start as this is already being declared awesome. That’s switched into an ankle lock and Suzuki is out in a hurry for a standoff. Alexander takes him up against the ropes and offers a clean break, which just feels stupid against Suzuki. Thankfully it’s a kick to Alexander’s ribs but he sends Suzuki outside for a breather. Back in and Suzuki chokes him over the ropes but a security guard takes away Suzuki’s chair. That means a right hand to said guard and we take a break.

Back with Suzuki hitting a running boot on the ramp as the fans continue to be split. They get back inside with Alexander hitting a running boot to the face but Suzuki runs him over again. Some taunting kicks to the head just wake Alexander up but it’s time for Suzuki to chop him in the chest. A big one sends Alexander to his knee, where Suzuki hits him in the face.

The fired up Alexander is chopped right back down and he gets caught in the sleeper. Suzuki lets him go and tries the Gotch style piledriver, which is countered with a backdrop. Alexander hits a top rope knee to the back of the head for two, with the kickout going straight into the ankle lock. Suzuki forearms his way out before going to the sleeper. They trade some very fast counters (that was sweet) until Alexander hits him in the face. The C4 Spike gives Alexander the pin at 13:48.

Rating: B. This started off pretty slowly and then got better near the end, once Suzuki actually started working a bit harder. The first half felt like he was just there and getting by on reputation only, but after that things improved a good bit. Alexander winning a wrestle off and then winning clean makes him look strong, as he should be getting the Hard To Kill title shot in January.

Alexander gets to celebrate with his family in a nice moment.

We go to the back where Johnny Swinger and John E. Bravo run into everyone from Swinger’s Palace. They’re not sure why they’re here, but Decay pops up to say they brought everyone together. Next week, they’re coming together again….in WRESTLE HOUSE 2! Sure why not.

Overall Rating: C+. It was an up and down week, though I can go for the idea of more Wrestle House to go with a good main event. Turning Point got a lot of focus this week and the show should be a pretty eventful one. These monthly shows have done a lot of good for Impact, just for the sake of giving them something to focus on. Another solid week here, and Hard To Kill could start getting some focus next week.

Results
Steve Maclin b. Laredo Kid – Mayhem For All
IInspiration b. Undead Bridesmaids – Powerbomb/belly to back suplex combination to Lauren
Doc Gallows b. Hikuleo – Chokebomb
Decay/Demon b. Johnny Swinger/Fallah Bahh/Hernandez – Choke to Swinger
Josh Alexander b. Minoru Suzuki – C4 Spike

 

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – October 14, 2021: They’re Still Doing It

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 14, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Lo Brown

We’re less than two weeks away from Bound For Glory and that means it is time to really hammer home the stories. Most of the card is set, save for the final spot in the X-Division Title match. Things have been going well as of late and I’m actually interested in where the show goes. Keeping that up is not going to easy but maybe they can make it work. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s main event as Josh Alexander vs. Christian Cage continues to heat up.

X-Division Title Qualifying Match: Rohit Raju vs. El Phantasmo vs. Willie Mack

The winner joins Trey Miguel and Steve Maclin for the title match at Bound For Glory and the rest of the Bullet Club is in Phantasmo’s corner. Phantasmo is sent outside to start, leaving Mack to shoulder Raju down. Phantasmo replaces Raju and can’t get anywhere with some shoulders of his own. This time it’s Mack being knocked outside so Raju and Phantasmo can slug it out. That’s broken up and Raju is sent outside again as they certainly have a formula here.

Phantasmo manages to knock Mack down and hit a springboard Swanton for two. Back in and Raju hits a Cannonball to both of them at the same time. Mack runs them both over though and shows off the crazy power with the double Samoan drop. The double standing moonsault gets two but Phantasmo catches Mack on top.

That means a super hurricanrana, with Mack Swantoning onto Raju for a big crash. A top rope splash gets two on Mack but he’s right back with the Stunner. The Club has the referee so Mack kicks them to the floor and hits the big flip dive. Raju uses the breather to Flatline Phantasmo for two but Phantasmo is back with a rather low punch. The Pedigree style Neutralizer gives Phantasmo the pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. It’s hard to screw up a match like this and they certainly didn’t here. Phantasmo winning is fine as you don’t want to have two heels in a three way match for the title. The drawback here was the fairly fired formula of having two in and one out, as there was barely any stretch of the match with all three involved. That’s how triple threat works, but it would be nice to try something else for a change.

Ace Austin and Madman Fulton are ready for tonight’s battle royal to determine the entrance order for the Call Your Shot gauntlet match (this company has a bad history of making things a bit complicated). Neither of them are worried about possibly being #1, because Fulton likes fighting a bunch of people at once.

Here’s what’s coming tonight and at Bound For Glory.

Savannah Evans vs. Lady Frost

Tasha Steelz is here with Evans. Frost strikes away to start and is easily sent into the corner for a running shoulder to the ribs. The comeback is cut off with a big boot and we take a break with Evans in full control. Back with Evans hitting a Samoan drop but Frost manages some running shoulders in the corner. That earns Frost a heck of a clothesline, setting up a full nelson slam to give Evans the pin at 7:39.

Rating: C-. More or less a squash here with Evans being established as the new monster. You can always go with that as it serves as a way to keep her strong at the moment, which can set up someone conquering her later on. Frost has a good look but hasn’t exactly done anything to make herself stand out so far.

Post match here are Deonna Purrazzo and Matthew Rehwoldt for a chat. Purrazzo is here because she gets to pick Mickie James’ opponent for next week and Evans sounds like a good idea. Evans is down.

Steve Maclin says people don’t know his background but he’ll let us in. Where he comes from, there are people called ribbon chasers and they almost got him killed. Around here, he sees people chasing titles, but he’s going to win the X-Division Title because he wants a target on his back.

Gail Kim recaps Knockouts Knockdown, including the announcement that the IInspiration will get a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot at Bound For Glory. Decay comes in to say they shouldn’t have to defend the titles, but Kim gets a letter from a deliveryman. It’s from the IInspiration, who think it’s nice that Decay gets to share the ring with them. We wrap it up with “if this letter is not read out loud in an Australian accent, please start again from the beginning.” That was funny, but Rosemary is ready for violence and chaos at Bound For Glory.

VSK vs. Rich Swann

Brian Myers and Willie Mack are here too. VSK strikes away to start and scores with a fast fireman’s carry backbreaker. A slam into a splash gives VSK two and we’re already in the chinlock. Swann fights up and slugs away, setting up a neckbreaker. The Phoenix splash finishes VSK at 2:59.

Johnny Swinger is still cleaning out Swinger’s Palace but Hernandez comes in to take all of his money. One of the Swingerellas comes up to Swinger and asks him out. That’s a no, and she walks away in tears. Swinger leaves, so here is Chris Sabin to see the place one more time. Swingerella #2 (or Riley) says she likes him but his love is the wrestling ring. She leaves, so Sabin sits down and we get a montage of moments from the Palace. I’m going to miss the place too, as it went from a one off joke into a pretty funny running gag.

Heath comes in to see Scott D’Amore and is ready to sign his contract. One thing though: he wants his first match to be at Bound For Glory and wants to team with Rhino against Violent By Design. D’Amore doesn’t think Rhino is interested, but Heath will fight by himself is Rhino doesn’t show up. That’s good enough for D’Amore and the contract is signed.

Chris Bey vs. Chris Sabin

The Bullet Club and FinJuice are here too. Feeling out process to start with Sabin shouldering him down and grabbing a quickly broken armbar. They fight over armdrags and that means an early standoff. The guys on the floor almost get into a fight so the referee tosses them before anything can happen.

We settle down to Sabin grabbing a snap suplex for two but Bey ties him in the ropes for a middle rope elbow. Another elbow gets two on Sabin, setting up a top rope clothesline for the same. The chinlock goes on but Sabin fights up and scores with a pretty hard kick to the chest.

A rolling fisherman’s buster (as in a fisherman’s suplex but Sabin rolls through and hits a buster) gets two on Bey, who kicks him in the head again for another near fall. Back up and they trade clotheslines for a double knockdown. They slug it out until Bey loads up a rolling…something, only to get kicked out of the air. The Cradle Shock finishes Bey at 12:07.

Rating: B-. This was fun and good at the same time, which is quite the hard to pull off. The two of them are both able to go in the ring and do just about whatever they want, which is rather hard to pull off. Sabin is a legend around here and it makes sense to warm him up again, even if that means beating Bey clean in a good match.

Trey Miguel is ready for the X-Division Title match and has already beaten a few people. Cue one of those wrestlers in Alex Zayne, who says Miguel never beat him. That’s fine with Miguel and a match is made, for some reason with an allegory about a chicken sandwich. Also of note: Zayne TOWERS over Miguel and it’s a bit of a strange visual.

The Good Brothers are still on vacation and are ready to be back at Bound For Glory. Now get them some opponents already.

Battle Royal

Ace Austin, Madman Fulton, Fallah Bahh, Moose, Hernandez, W. Morrissey, Brandi Lauren, Kimber Lee, Matt Cardona, Johnny Swinger, Petey Williams, Alisha Edwards, Matthew Rehwoldt, Jake Something, Brian Myers, Rachael Ellering, Laredo Kid, Black Taurus, Raj Singh

The winner is #20 in the Call Your Shot gauntlet but the runner up is #1. Moose tosses Alisha in a hurry and Swinger eliminates himself to get away from Lauren and Lee. Austin hides behind Fulton and Cardona tosses Williams. Cardona can’t eliminate Myers as the Learning Tree catches him for the save, only to have Ellering kick Myers out instead. Kid is tossed with Taurus and Hernandez following. There goes Rehwoldt, followed by Ellering and Singh. The ring is getting cleared out a bit and we take a break.

Back with a bunch of brawling and near eliminations until Austin kicks Something out. Fulton shrugs off some mist and helps Austin get rid of Lauren and Lee. Cardona takes too long loading up a running boot and gets tossed, leaving us with Moose, Morrissey, Fulton, Austin and Sabin. Fulton gets the better of a brawl between the giants until a double big boot knocks him out.

We take another break and come back again with Fulton saving Austin from an elimination. Austin tries to get together with the monsters, who toss him out in a hurry. Sabin manages to low bridge Moose to the apron and kicks the leg out, leaving us with two. A missile dropkick puts Morrissey down but Moose pushes him back over the top. Morrissey unloads on Sabin before tossing him out for the win at 19:38.

Rating: C. These things are always kind of hard to grade but a monster winning is a smart move, especially if you put Sabin at the start. Sabin is someone who could put on a good run and even tease a win in the end so this was a well thought out match. It wasn’t the most interesting match, but it could have been a lot worse.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Minoru Suzuki is coming. Well dang.

The ropes have been taken down and we get a sitdown interview between Christian Cage and Josh Alexander. Christian talks about how important it was to win the title back because he spent so many years out of the ring due to his injuries. Alexander talks about how much the X-Division means to him but now he wants to make it mean even more by winning the World Title. He doesn’t have a single regret about the decision he made and is ready for Bound For Glory.

Christian sees the fire in Alexander’s eyes but no one thinks in the ring like he does. Alexander grew up watching Christian and is a huge fan but at Bound For Glory, Alexander is the wild card. Christian knows what it takes to be on this stage and it’s going to be sink or swim, which Alexander will learn soon. He’s a fan of Alexander, but we see a clip of a fan asking if Christian would like to face him, and Christian doesn’t know who Alexander is. Alexander storms off to end the show. That’s the kind of personal Edge that the match needed.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was a nice boost toward Bound For Glory and that’s what it needed to be. The pay per view is looking better every week and I’m still getting used to this idea of being into Impact. If they can make Bound For Glory a better version of TV, we’re going to be in for a heck of a show. Nicely done here, and that has been the norm for a good while now.

Results
El Phantasmo b. Willie Mack and Rohit Raju – Double underhook faceplant to Raju
Savannah Evans b. Lady Frost – Full nelson slam
Rich Swann b. VSK – Phoenix splash
Chris Sabin b. Chris Bey – Cradle Shock
W. Morrissey won a battle royal last eliminating Chris Sabin

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – September 30, 2021: After All This Time

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 30, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

We are on the way to Bound For Glory and we now have the main event set for the World Title. As a result of Josh Alexander giving up the X-Division Title to set up the main event, we need a new X-Division Champion and the tournament begins tonight. It’s time to get serious around here so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title Tournament First Round: Laredo Kid vs. Alex Zayne vs. Trey Miguel

The winner goes on to the title match at Bound For Glory. Zayne hiptosses Kid over to Miguel for a hurricanrana but they’re all back up to miss dropkicks and that means a standoff. Kid is sent outside and Zayne hits a running twisting backsplash for two on Miguel. That doesn’t last long as Kid is back in to send Zayne outside but Miguel does the same, setting up a running hurricanrana over the top to flip Kid off the apron.

Back in and Miguel ties Zayne up for the Cheeky Nandos kick and then up Zayne’s legs while suplexing Kid at the same time. Kid is back up with a 450 to break it up so Zayne suplexes Kid down. Miguel takes Zayne down and hits a jumping double stomp to the back. With Zayne down, Kid springboard cutters Miguel off the top onto him for a crash in a cool spot. Miguel is fine enough to go up top and hit the super Meteora to put Kid away at 8:42.

Rating: B-. It worked in WCW and it worked here, as they had three young, talented high fliers go out there and go nuts for a few minutes, which is all you should do in something like this. It’s an idea that is always going to work and it is nice to see Miguel get a win. Now give him the title already!

Miguel is very fired up over his win.

Matthew Rehwoldt was watching that match and wants to attack Laredo Kid’s mask. They’ll fight next week. He was watching the match live and had a pre-tape ready? That’s some fast production.

Sami Callihan has been attacked and suffered a broken ankle at the hands of W. Morrissey and Moose. That’s about the best option they had to write him off for a legitimate injury.

Eddie Edwards is ready to face W. Morrissey in a street fight for revenge. Tonight it ends once and for all, and then Eddie is coming for Moose.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Influence vs. Jordynne Grace/Rachael Ellering

For the Knockouts Tag Team Title shot at Knockouts Knockdown and Kaleb With A K is here with the Influence. Dashwood starts with Ellering and we hit the stall button so both teams can pose together. They eventually fight over a wristlock with Ellering getting the better of things and taking her down over and over. There’s a headlock takeover to do it again as Dashwood can’t get anything going to start. Dashwood slides outside, where she trips Ellering down as we take a break.

Back with Grace coming in for some shoulders in the corner to put Dashwood in trouble. A backsplash into a double suplex gets two on Dashwood but Rayne gets in a kick from the apron to rock Grace. Rayne’s knee to the face gets two and the Influence stand on Grace’s hair to make it worse.

Grace fights up in a hurry and brings Ellering back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Ellering’s STO sets up a Vader Bomb from Grace for two, with Kaleb With A K putting the foot on the rope. Rayne gets in another cheap shot to take over but Ellering kicks her in the head. Kaleb With A K distracts Grace though, leaving Ellering to take a double Stroke for the pin at 12:44.

Rating: C. This might not have been the best match ever or anything but it was a perfectly competent match between two teams who felt like they belonged together. The division is starting to take a little shape and that is because we have some actual teams. You don’t get that very often around here and it is nice to see for a change.

Christopher Daniels is back to deal with Madman Fulton when Josh Alexander comes in. Alexander is glad he’s back, but Christian Cage comes in to say he didn’t need help. Daniels leaves and Christian says Alexander needs to be ready.

Brian Myers teaches the Learning Tree about physical fitness. Sam Beale thinks VSK is being treated better but Myers doesn’t want to hear it. Beale tells the other two to take some notes.

The Good Brothers are still on vacation, where they have been putting themselves over on Twitter and beating up Jon Moxley. They aren’t worried about any of the teams around here. Bound For Glory is coming though and they need opponents, so Bullet Club can face FinJuice for the title shot.

Deonna Purrazzo drives onto Mickie James’ horse farm and jumps her in the stables. Purrazzo hits her with a bucket but Mickie fights back and screams a lot. A pitchfork misses Mickie, who gets in a shot with….something hard. They fight outside where Mickie blasts her with a hose (the white shirt is just a coincidence I’m sure) but gets sent face first into a water bucket (the white shirt is just a coincidence I’m sure). Purrazzo leaves with Mickie down.

FinJuice doesn’t like the Bullet Club having a numbers advantage but Chris Sabin is here to even the odds. Six man next week.

Madman Fulton vs. Christopher Daniels

Ace Austin is here with Fulton. Daniels does get a nice reaction and it feels like a special return. Fulton throws him down to start and grabs an early delayed vertical suplex. Daniels slips out of a powerslam though and hammers away, including knocking Fulton outside. The Arabian moonsault takes Fulton down again but he kicks Daniels in the face to take over again.

Some elbows and choking in the corner keep Daniels in trouble but he comes back with a running DDT. A middle rope hurricanrana sets up the running STO for two on Fulton, who is back with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam (Striker: “Through the wasteland. The water is currency!”). Austin offers a distraction so here is Josh Alexander to cut him off. Angel’s Wings gets one and Daniels is stunned, so he tries a middle rope Downward Spiral instead. That sets up the BME to finish Fulton at 6:58.

Rating: C. I’m not sure I get the point in having Fulton kick out of the Angel’s Wings so easily when he was going to get pinned a few seconds later, but that’s a fairly minor point. What matters here is Daniels looked good and could still be a player around here. The guy seems immune to time and it is cool to see him back here where he was quite the big deal in the company’s glory days.

We go to Swinger’s Palace where Scott D’Amore comes in. Johnny Swinger tries to talk D’Amore out of taking Bound For Glory to Las Vegas but that isn’t happening. Swinger promises to make it the class of Las Vegas, but admits he doesn’t have a gaming license. That’s too bad, because D’Amore has no choice but to have them shut down.

Ace Austin and Madman Fulton go to see D’Amore because they don’t like Christopher Daniels and Josh Alexander. D’Amore makes a tag match…but with Christian Cage instead of Daniels. Makes a bit more sense.

Here is Violent By Design for Rhino’s decision. Eric Young talks about how the team was in full control (it was just the Tag Team Titles) but Rhino let the sickness back in. Now Rhino needs to make a decision because he’s either all the way in or all the way out. Cue Rhino, who looks confused about what to do. Young tells him to make the right decision so he can avoid the violence. Rhino is surrounded….so here is Heath to interrupt. The brawl is on and Heath clears the ring….but Rhino leaves through the crowd without making a decision.

The Digital Media Title is coming, with matches taking place on Tuesdays and Wednesdays on the various web shows. I kind of like that.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Eddie Edwards vs. W. Morrissey

Street fight as Edwards is out for revenge. Morrissey starts fast by kicking Eddie in the face and it’s time to go outside. It’s already time to bring in the weapons, with Morrissey hitting him with a wet floor sign. Eddie low bridges him to the floor though and hits a heck of a suicide dive. A replica TNA World Title knocks Morrissey silly and it’s time for a table. Morrissey sends him into the steps though and starts taking his time, which probably isn’t a good idea. Eddie manages a drop toehold into the steps (I knew it was a bad idea) and we take a break.

Back with Morrissey hitting a splash in the corner and unloading with trashcan lid shots to the head. Eddie gets in some shots of his own though and there’s a Blue Thunder Bomb onto the trashcan. It’s time for a barbed wire chair but Morrissey kicks him in the face again. Morrissey puts a chair onto Eddie and drives another chair onto him before setting up four chairs, two by two.

A superplex is loaded up but here is Alisha Edwards with a kendo stick for the save. Eddie powerbombs him onto the chairs and unloads with the stick, but Alisha has an idea. She puts the barbed wire chair over Morrissey’s head and the Boston Knee Party finishes for Eddie at 15:18.

Rating: B-. This was what you would want from a match like this and it was entertaining while it lasted. Alisha coming in to help her husband was a good way to go, though Edwards is going to need some help to deal with Morrissey and Moose at the same time. It was a good start to the next leg of the story though, especially when everything had to be reset due to Sami Callihan’s injury.

Post match here is Moose to throw Alisha down and spear Eddie through a table in the corner. The giants grab Alisha, with Morrissey holding her in place as Moose wraps a chair around Eddie’s neck. The chair is sent into the post and Eddie is out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Impact being this good feels completely normal. It has been the case for a long time now and the good thing is that it seems like a new era for the show instead of a nice run. Impact has such a terrible reputation and while the idea of it being a player has long since sailed, it is very nice to have the show be such a steady offering. Another positive effort this week as we get close to the biggest show of the year.

Results
Trey Miguel b. Alex Zayne and Laredo Kid – Super Meteora to Kid
Influence b. Jordynne Grace/Rachael Ellering – Double Stroke to Ellering
Christopher Daniels b. Madman Fulton – Best Moonsault Ever
Eddie Edwards b. W. Morrissey – Boston Knee Party into a barbed wire chair

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – September 23, 2021: Bound For Good?

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 23, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

We are a month away from Bound For Glory and it seems that we have a main event. At Victory Road, X-Division Champion Josh Alexander announced that he was using Option C to cash in his title for a shot at Christian Cage’s World Title. This has been teased for a few weeks now and is the absolute best idea that they have at the moment. Alexander feels unbeatable and that comes from months of putting in the effort. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Scott D’Amore to get things going. He explains Option C and brings out Josh Alexander, but reminds him that once he hands over the title, a tournament begins to crown a new champion. Therefore, make sure this is what you want. Alexander talks about having neck surgery six years ago and having doubts about his future. He has no doubts this time though, because he knows he can be the face of this company.

This brings out Christian Cage, who says Alexander almost lost his career but Christian DID lose his career for seven years. Cage tells him to think about this, because right now he is the face of the X-Division, but he won’t be the face of this company. Instead, he’ll just be a face in the crowd. Alexander says that makes his decision that much easier and hands over the title.

D’Amore leaves but here are Ace Austin and Madman Fulton to interrupt. Austin doesn’t go away quietly after a loss at Victory Road and calls out Alexander for being a quitter. He would never give up the title like that….but Alexander says that wasn’t an option because Alexander took the title from him. The fight is on but Austin’s cane shot hits Cage by mistake. There were some great lines in there and I like where this is going.

Rich Swann and Willie Mack aren’t happy with losing their Tag Team Title shot at Victory Road but they want their next shot. Mack wants in the X-Division Title tournament and Swann wants in the Call Your Shot gauntlet match. Cue Brian Myers to say he’s in the gauntlet as well, but he whines so much that a tag match is set for later tonight.

Josh Alexander complains about Ace Austin so Scott D’Amore makes the match between them for later tonight.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Hikuleo vs. David Finlay

Chris Bey and Juice Robinson are the seconds. The massive Hikuleo drives him up against the ropes to start but can’t hit a shot to the face. Instead he hiptosses Finlay into the corner, making Finlay pause for a second. Finlay’s crossbody is countered into a slam and Bey tripping him from the floor makes it worse. Hikuleo kicks him in the face for two and we take a break.

Back with Hikuleo getting two off a powerslam and grabbing a chinlock. Finlay fights up and grabs a jumping neckbreaker, setting up a middle rope crossbody for two. The sleeper slows Hikuleo down for a bit until he powers his way out and hits a heck of a clothesline for two of his own. The chokeslam is countered into a Stunner though and Finlay avoids a charge, setting up a rollup for the pin at 11:14.

Rating: C+. This was a totally fine big man vs. little man match, though pinning the giant so early on in his time around here seems to be a bit questionable. FinJuice continues to grow on me though and it is nice to see two guys getting over so well, mainly due to their talent alone. Nice match, and I’m curious to see where they are going.

Post match the brawl is on again with FinJuice getting the better of things, but El Phantasmo, also Bullet Club, runs in to help with the beatdown.

Violent By Design says what happened to Rhino last week was necessary. Violence is the only cure for the sickness and while Rhino can apologize, he needs to decide and do the right thing. They need an answer next week.

Matt Cardona is done with Rohit Raju and Shera but Chelsea Green is ready to take out Raju herself.

Su Yung’s followers present her with…..a red belt, which doesn’t seem to please her. Ok then.

Chelsea Green vs. Rohit Raju

Matt Cardona is here too. Raju shoves her into the corner to start but she’s back with a pair of kicks to the face for two. That earns her a hair takedown and a snap suplex gives Raju two of his own. Green Thesz presses him for some right hands to the face and a snap German suplex makes it worse. The jumping knee connects for Green but she can’t get the Unprettier, allowing Raju to grab a rollup and the ropes. Cardona breaks up the latter but here is the returning Raj Singh to send him into the steps. Raju grabs a small package for the pin at 4:07.

Rating: C-. Great, the Desi Hit Squad is back. Things have gotten better for Raju but the team was such a horrible waste of time before that I’m almost depressed at the idea of having to watch them again. The match itself was fine enough, and Green looked like was hanging in there rather well.

We look at W. Morrissey taking out Alisha Edwards at Victory Road.

Eddie Edwards swears vengeance but doesn’t want to hear from Sami Callihan. That doesn’t work for Sami, who wants revenge of his own. Moose comes in for the brawl but gets beaten down as Eddie wants to know where W. Morrissey is.

Rich Swann/Willie Mack vs. Brian Myers/???

Myers says his learning tree isn’t ready to team with him in this match so he has a surprise partner: VSK, another of Myers’ students. Swann and VSK start things off with the latter hitting a surprise dropkick to take over early on. Back up and Swann nails his own dropkick, setting up a double flapjack with Mack’s help.

Myers comes in and gets flattened with a flying shoulder but a Zicky Dice distraction lets VSK score with a sliding German suplex. Mack fights up and forearms the heck out of Myers, allowing the double tags to Swann and VSK. The rolling splash gives Swann two but VSK grabs an elevated DDT for the same. Swann superkicks him out of the air though and a high crossbody (possibly due to Dice’s mistimed shove) is good for the pin at 5:16.

Rating: C. Just another match here as VSK isn’t exactly a threat to a former World Champion. I know he has been around AEW for a while now but that doesn’t make him feel like a star here. The same is true of Myers, who feels about as firmly midcard as you can possibly be.

Johnny Swinger is worried about Impact going to Las Vegas and putting him out of business. He writes a letter to Scott D’Amore, who he thinks has just bought the company from Bob Carter’s daughter (Swinger: “Babe.”). Therefore, D’Amore needs to come to Swinger’s Palace next week and talk about this. Signed, JJ Dillon.

The Good Brothers are still on vacation because they have beaten every team around. They are on the top of the mountain and the only thing to do is knock any other team off the mountain. Can they get lost on the mountain while they’re up there?

Video on the Good Brothers.

Here is Mickie James for a chat. She is rather touched by her reception and talks about how awesome Empowerrr was, but Deonna Purrazzo has changed everything. Mickie calls Purrazzo out for a face to face chat so here is the champ. Purrazzo doesn’t like Mickie even saying her name after attacking her last week, which Mickie doesn’t buy.

Mickie throws out the Bound For Glory challenge, but Purrazzo isn’t interested in giving Mickie a boost with nothing in it for her. It’s a no, but the brawl is on anyway with security breaking it up. Cue Scott D’Amore to make the match for Bound For Glory. You know it was happening but it had to be set up.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Mickie James wins the Knockouts Title on Impact, May 23, 2013.

Eddie Edwards and Sami Callihan go after W. Morrissey, but get cut off by security. Scott D’Amore makes the street fight for next week.

Gail Kim announces a tournament for Knockouts Knockdown, featuring an eight woman tournament with four Knockouts and four from elsewhere. The winners get a Knockouts Title match, but here is the Influence to interrupt. Madison Rayne thinks they should get a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot, but Kim says they have to beat Rachael Ellering and Jordynne Grace next week.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Ace Austin vs. Josh Alexander

Madman Fulton is here with Austin, who bails into the corner to start. Austin drives him up against the ropes for a clean break but Fulton trips Alexander from the floor. That doesn’t seem to bother Alexander, who snaps off a suplex to send Austin outside. Austin jumps up to the apron, where he gets caught with a quickly broken ankle lock. Back in and Alexander gets two off a delayed vertical suplex but a Fulton distraction lets Austin get in a kick to the head.

We take a break and come back with Austin grabbing the chinlock with a bodyscissors. That’s reversed into a quickly broken ankle lock so Austin hits a belly to back slam. Alexander pops up with a German suplex and Austin is rocked again. A running big boot drops Austin but the C4 Spike is broken up. Instead, Alexander rolls some German suplexes until Austin grabs the rope for a break.

Another C4 Spike attempt is broken up and Austin grabs a neckbreaker for two. Alexander knocks him to the apron for a suicide dive to the back (that’s a new one), sending them both outside. Back in and Austin hits a heck of a superkick to knock Alexander off the apron and outside onto Fulton. The Fold is countered into a powerbomb onto the knee though and the C4 Spike finishes for Alexander at 15:12.

Rating: B-. Are you surprised that these two had a good match? There was no serious doubt about the winner here, as there shouldn’t have been. What mattered here was making Alexander into a bigger star and that is what they did, as he beat the most recent #1 contender. Good match with the right result.

Post match Fulton comes in to stomp on Alexander and the beatdown is on. Christian Cage comes in for the save and helps clear the ring but Alexander isn’t pleased. Fulton and Austin come back in to jump the good guys….until Christopher Daniels of all people makes a surprise return for the save. Everyone is stunned as Daniels clear the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was what they needed as Bound For Glory is beginning to take shape with a month to go before the pay per view. The Daniels return was a surprise and a nice one at that, especially if AEW isn’t going to be using him. I’m liking where things are going in Impact and if they can keep it up, we could be in for another strong month from them.

Results
David Finlay b. Hikuleo – Rollup
Rohit Raju b. Chelsea Green – Small package
Rich Swann/Willie Mack b. Brian Myers/VSK – High crossbody to VSK
Josh Alexander b. Ace Austin – C4 Stack

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – August 19, 2021: Another Homecoming

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 19, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

We have a new World Champion around here and it happens to be someone who doesn’t actually work here (again). Christian Cage wont he World Title from Kenny Omega during the first edition of AEW Rampage. I’m not sure what that is going to mean for the future, but Brian Myers is the #1 contender so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Christian Cage defeating Kenny Omega to win the World Title last Friday. Cage is pleased with his win.

Josh Matthews and Gia Miller are in the ring to talk about Cage’s win but here are Eddie Edwards and W. Morrissey to brawl around ringside. Eddie hits the suicide dive but Morrissey is right back up take him down. Cue Sami Callihan to go after Morrissey, which is finally enough for security to get Morrissey out of there. Sami grabs the mic and says Eddie can thank him later. He has a match tonight and he doesn’t feel like waiting so get them out here RIGHT NOW.

Opening sequence. I thought they had forgotten.

Sami Callihan/Chris Sabin vs. Ace Austin/Moose

Madman Fulton is here with Austin/Moose and these four are in a four way at Emergence to crown a new #1 contender. The fans are behind Sami (“DEATH MACHINE!”) but Austin armdrags him down for some early annoyance. A running shoulder drops Austin though and Sami catches him in a running Death Valley Driver. The good (ish) guys start working on Austin’s arm, including Sabin snapping it over his shoulder. Austin’s springboard spinning kick to the face misses and Sabin knocks Moose off the apron.

We take a break and come back with Moose chopping Sabin so hard that his eyes bug out. A rake of said eyes draws Sami over but Sabin gets caught in the wrong corner again. Sabin manages a sunset flip out of the corner for two though and the hot tag brings in Sami to start cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Sabin hits a top rope tornado DDT to plant Moose. Sami takes too long with the THUMBS UP thing though, allowing Sabin to tag himself back in. The Cradle Shock finishes for Sabin at 10:48.

Rating: C+. This was a nice little preview of their match at Emergence and that’s all you needed out of a match like this one. What interests me the most here is how Sabin has revitalized his career. He has always been talented and treated like a big deal but now he is having the matches to back it up at this level. That’s a great thing to see and Sabin has been making it work every week.

Post match, Sami takes out Sabin, as he should.

Here’s what is coming tonight.

We look at the Good Brothers beating Jon Moxley/Yuji Nagata at New Japan Resurgence.

The Good Brothers are happy with what they did and tonight, Doc Gallows is going to take out Joe Doering.

Sami Callihan says Chris Sabin was fair game as soon as the match ended and he wants the World Title. Eddie Edwards comes up by Sami says they aren’t friends.

Shera vs. Matt Cardona

Rohit Raju and Chelsea Green are here too. I don’t hear a bell but Shera shoves him around to start anyway. Shera gets tossed outside though and Cardona hits a running dropkick through the ropes to rock him again. Raju grabs the foot though and Cardona gets kicked in the face as we take a break. Back with Shera dropping a big elbow for two and slapping on the chinlock. Cardona makes the comeback but charges into a backbreaker for two. A missed charge sends Shera into the corner but Green has to deal with Raju. Another missed charge lets Cardona hit the middle rope Radio Silence for the pin at 9:38.

Rating: C. It’s almost surprising to see how far Shera has fallen from the dancer into the monster into the jobber to the stars. I wouldn’t exactly call it a bad thing, but it’s kind of hard to fathom. What matters most here though is Cardona continues to find his place around here, which didn’t seem likely when he first debuted.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Christian Cage wins the World Title from Jeff Jarrett in February 2006.

It’s time for the return of Locker Room Talk with Madison Rayne, who has to wake up Johnny Swinger. Anyway, the guests are Tenille Dashwood (Swinger approves) and Kaleb With A K, who are on the set of It’s All About Me. Since Rayne is supposed to ask her questions, she would like to know why they got together last week. Dashwood says they always wanted to but this was the perfect time, so it is time to take over the division. To be fair, it has been a few months since we had a new dynamic duo. Swinger and Kaleb With A K argue though (Kaleb With A K: “Go back to AOL!”) and a match seems likely to wrap it up.

Josh Alexander isn’t scared of Jake Something. Cue Jake to say he’ll give Josh a reason to be scared.

Post break, Jake Something and Kaleb With A K come up to Scott D’Amore to complain about things so they can face each other in a No DQ match tonight.

Here is Christian Cage to the big hero’s welcome. Christian says they’re going to make him blush and the nostalgia is strong around here. Yes he wrestles for AEW, but it was an honor to bring these titles back here where they belong. Impact gambled on him in 2005 and he was able to win World Titles, which was all he ever wanted. The YOU DESERVE IT chants come and go before Christian thinks it is time to retire the TNA Championship. That’s about the past, because the Impact Wrestling World Title is what matters right now. He hands the title off….and here are Brian Myers and Sam Beale to interrupt.

Myers talks about how this is really nostalgic and thinks we need Shark Boy or a Brown Bag Special. He has been killing it for a year around here and tomorrow night, he is taking the World Title. Christian says it’s nice to see Myers finally get out of Matt Cardona’s shadow and he even has his own guy to check his spelling. Myers has to learn how to lose because he knows how to win. He might be the most professional wrestler, but Christian is the BEST professional wrestler. The fight is on and Christian cleans house in a hurry. Nice segment to build a not that interesting title match.

Trey Miguel meets Melina and seems impressed. Melina….not so much.

We look at Deonna Purrazzo becoming the AAA Reina de Reinas Champion.

Melina vs. Brandi Lauren

Lauren is sent into the corner to start but gets up an elbow to the jaw. Melina hits an elbow of her own, followed by a quick middle rope crossbody. There’s a running knee to the back into a DDT and the Muta Lock goes on. Melina turns it over into the California Dream (Muta Lock with Melina on her stomach and pulling down) for the tap at 2:07. Just a squash.

Post match, Deonna Purrazzo runs in for the fight, with Matthew Rehwoldt and Trey Miguel running in as well. The good ones clear the ring.

We look at John Skyler beating Matt Cardona with a bit of an assist from Rohit Raju.

Skyler says of course that isn’t a surprise that he won and no, he didn’t need Rohit Raju’s help. Speaking of help, someone seems to need it and we go over to see a downed Juice Robinson.

We look at Jordynne Grace dominating a powerlifting competition, with Rachael Ellering in the crowd. She’s going for a national championship soon.

Jake Something vs. Kaleb With A K

No DQ and Kaleb With A K has a neck brace on (complete with a bowtie). Jake powers him into the corner to start and snaps off a belly to belly. There’s a Batista Bomb to plant Kaleb With A K again and it’s table time. A spear through said table finishes for Jake at 2:04.

Post match Josh Alexander comes out for the staredown.

Su Yung and Kimber Lee are still evil.

Emergence rundown.

Doc Gallows vs. Joe Doering

Karl Anderson and the rest of Violent By Design are here too. They waste no time in going to the slugout, which sends them outside. Doering is sent into the steps and we take a break. Back with Doering managing a German suplex as we hear about Doering’s time in All Japan. A slightly delayed vertical suplex drops Gallows again and they head outside to keep up the brawling. Gallows throws a char at Doering’s face, which isn’t a DQ because….I guess this is no DQ?

Back in and a double shoulder puts them back on the floor. Gallows wins the next brawl and they fight up the ramp, where Gallows hits a sitout chokebomb through the stage for the big crash. A few minutes later, they pull themselves out and go into the ring (with Striker doing his usual annoying over hype). Gallows goes up but dives into the lariat for the fast pin at 15:03.

Rating: D. It was slow, it wasn’t very interesting, and the rules weren’t exactly clear. The big spot in the middle was good, but if there was ever a spot to go to a no content, they went sailing past it by going back inside. Gallows just isn’t very good in the ring and Doering isn’t much better, leaving us with a way, way, WAY too long match here.

Violent By Design poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I really wasn’t feeling this one, but it did a decent enough job of setting up Emergence. The opening match was pretty good but the long main event and a few short matches didn’t help things. I’ve seen far worse shows, but this was a bit of a downgrade off of what we have been seeing from Impact lately. They can start setting up Bound For Glory next week though, and that’s what matters in the near future.

Results
Chris Sabin/Sami Callihan b. Moose/Ace Austin – Cradle Shock to Austin
Matt Cardona b. Shera – Middle rope Radio Silence
Melina b. Brandi Lauren – California Dream
Jake Something b. Kaleb With A K – Spear through a table
Joe Doering b. Doc Gallows – Lariat

 

 

 

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HIDDEN GEMS: WCW’s Very Own Lucha Libre Show

Call this a little preview.Chris Jericho/Johnny Swinger/Lenny Lane/Norman Smiley vs. Konnan/Hector Garza/Rey Mysterio Jr./Silver King
Date: January 27, 1999
Location: Heart O’Texas Fair Complex, Waco, Texas
Attendance: 2,423

So this is from a special that was taped called Fesitval de Lucha Libre, which was a lucha themed show that never aired in America. The idea was to have a show to counteract WWF Super Astros show (which did last for a bit) but this was never picked up so off to the Hidden Gems section it goes. For some reason Fit Finlay is here with Jericho’s team as well, as we go full international with the villainy. Jericho wants the various women at ringside gone because he is the star around here you see.

Konnan and Jericho (who is getting A LOT of cheers) start things off but Jericho hands it off to Lane instead. Mysterio comes in to hammer away after a minute of stalling. Rey sends Lenny into the corner for a Bronco Buster and a double tag brings in Swinger and Garza. Swinger takes over with a clothesline and sends him to the apron but Garza is right back with a clothesline of his own.

Smiley comes in with an elbow to the face and we get what sounds like a negative chant about someone. The crowd volume goes WAY down in a hurry and it’s Jericho suplexing Garza down for the arrogant two. King breaks up Swinger’s cover and comes in, only to get beaten up by Smiley. There’s the Swinging Slam into the Big Wiggle, which should get a lot more praise. Two referees have to hold Konnan back, allowing a quadruple stomping and a posting to keep King in trouble.

Finlay gets in a shot as well and it’s a powerslam from Lane for two back inside. A faceplant out of the corner has King down again but he scores with a spinwheel kick. There’s a dive over the top onto Lane and that’s as good as a tag around here, meaning Rey can come in to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and Jericho gets the Liontamer on Garza for the tap at 8:00.

Rating: C. I’m not sure how many people were expecting a pretty formula based match here and it didn’t exactly fit the theme. You have Mysterio and Garza on the tecnico team and you do a pretty run of the mill American style tag match? I’m not sure what the thinking was here but it didn’t exactly work out that well.

Post match a brawl seems to break out but the camera is looking at the crowd.




Impact Wrestling – May 27, 2021: By Design

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 27, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Lo Brown

We’re on the way to Against All Odds and that means we are going to be seeing more of Moose vs. Kenny Omega as they set up their World Title match. I’m kind of curious to see the match, even though I don’t quite see a ton of drama involved. Hopefully they can live up to the hype and we can get some more matches set up this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Heath being involved in the Call Your Shot gauntlet match at Bound For Glory, with Rhino ultimately winning. Then last week, Rhino cashed in the contract to win the Tag Team Titles with Violent By Design.

Eric Young says that the change was foretold and last week it came to pass. Now they prove that it is real.

Opening sequence.

Here is Sami Callihan to have a seat in the ring for a chat. Callihan isn’t happy with what Kenny Omega has done around here because Omega and the Good Brothers have ruined this place. You can’t plan for someone like Callihan and Don Callis knows it. Let’s lay this to rest right now, so Omega can come out here right now. Cue Moose to say that no one cares about Callihan, because he didn’t win at Under Siege.

Callihan knows that Moose is a physical specimen but he isn’t dangerous. Cue the Good Brothers to say praise the Lord a lot and say they are on Moose’s side here. Maybe Callihan needs to stay out of Moose’s way, but Moose doesn’t want them on his side. The brawl is on and the Brothers are cleared out in a hurry. Anything that involves them talking less is a good thing.

The Good Brothers go to the back, where Don Callis makes the tag match.

Post break Callis is asked if he is allowed to make a match. Of course he can, though Scott D’Amore comes up to express his shock.

Commentary talks about what is coming tonight, plus the issues between Callis and D’Amore.

Petey Williams/Josh Alexander vs. TJP/Fallah Bahh

TJP has paid off Bahh’s debts at Swinger’s Palace so the team is back. Bahh shoves Alexander into the corner to start and we hit the front facelock. Alexander gets punched in the face but goes after the leg and grabs a front facelock of his own. TJP comes in for the Paisan elbow but Bahh can’t quite nip up.

A double splash gets two but Williams comes back in to slow Bahh down. Alexander adds a top rope shoulder and we take a break. Back with Alexander driving shoulders into Bahh’s ribs in the corner. Alexander comes back in for a kick to the ribs but makes the mistake of hitting Bahh in the head.

Bahh brings TJP back in to pick up the pace, including the Facewashes to Williams in the corner. The TJP vs. Alexander slugout goes to the former but it’s a double knockdown to set up another double tag. TJP counters the Canadian Destroyer from Williams, who is crushed by Bahh’s crossbody. A Samoan drop crushes Alexander and the Mamba Splash gives TJP the pin at 11:08.

Rating: C. It’s kind of nice to have the oddball team back together again as they have always worked well together. TJP pinning Alexander is a fine way to set up their title match at….well whenever the match takes place. Williams’ employment continues to confuse me a bit, though he is perfectly serviceable for a spot like this.

We get a sitdown interview with W. Morrissey, who mocks everyone for being so happy to your face and then stab you in the back. Some may call him bitter and people have kicked him while he was down. They even recorded him having a seizure instead of calling 911. People didn’t talk to him in years but once he came back to wrestling, they were right there telling him how happy they were for him. He mocks the idea of Rich Swann and Willie Mack being friends and asks who is laughing now. Cue Swann to jump him for the brawl.

Video on the Knockouts, which feels like an ad you would see when watching another channel.

Tenille Dashwood needs a replacement for a Knockouts tag and Rachael Ellering suggests Jordynne Grace. Dashwood isn’t sure but Grace comes up, saying she doesn’t want to be a substitute. Ellering talks her into it.

Fire N Flava/Kimber Lee/Deonna Purrazzo/Susan vs. Rachael Ellering/Havok/Jordynne Grace/Rosemary/Tenille Dashwood

 

Kaleb With A K is in the latter’s corner and Grace is replacing Taylor Wilde who is missing due to…..well in theory we’ll find out in a bit. Lee charges into Havok’s boot to start so Susan comes in to get kicked down as well. Hogan comes in and gets caught in Ellering’s release gutwrench suplex. A backsplash connects but Hogan gets over for the tag to Steelz. That’s fine for Ellering, who hits a sliding kick to the side of the head.

Dashwood tags herself in and takes Steelz down, much to Ellering’s annoyance. It’s quickly off to Grace, with the referee actually getting rid of Ellering because she was in the ring too long. The distraction lets Steelz snap Grace’s neck across the top and we take a break. Back with Steelz dropping an elbow on Grace to cut off a hot tag attempt. Grace jumps over Hogan in the corner though, allowing her to backflip over into the corner for the tag off to Rosemary.

The Upside Down is broken up in a hurry and some double teaming puts Rosemary in trouble for a change. Susan takes Rosemary up and bites her head, only to have Havok turn it into a Tower of Doom. Purrazzo comes in and gets dropped by Ellering as everything breaks down. Susan throws her shoe at Havok to little success so Rosemary hits As Above So Below to finish Purrazzo at 12:42.

Rating: C. These things are really hard to pull off as there is only so much that can be done with so many people in there at once. Rosemary will be a fine challenger for the title as she is one of the more established names in the division. This did its job, but you would think they could have done about the same with four or so fewer women included.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Eric Young beats Bobby Roode to become King of the Mountain Champion.

Josh Alexander is ready for all challengers so here are TJP and Fallah Bahh to interrupt. Scott D’Amore comes in to make a sixty minute Iron Man match for the title next week on Before The Impact. Well that’s certainly a way to get people interested.

Video on the history between Rohit Raju and Jake Something…..which apparently exists. They were friends for years and Raju doesn’t know why Impact has treated Something as such a star. Something says this isn’t the Raju he has known for years. A showdown seems to be looming. It’s a bit of a random feud to give a story but points for doing anything with a midcard feud.

Here is Violent By Design to brag about their win last week. Eric Young talks about how scary violence is to everyone else but to them, it is a tool. He needed people who knew the sickness existed and that it needed to be removed. Joe Doering was his first choice and his vision is clear.

Then you have Deaner, who needed a guide and now is the most diabolical and violent version of himself. Finally you have Rhino, who is back as the War Machine. They did everything to set up last week by design. FinJuice is back in Japan and can’t use their rematch….by design. Cue Satoshi Kojima to stare Doering down and then issue the challenge for Against All Odds. And then he leaves.

We look at Brian Myers laying out Matt Cardona last week, including sending him face first into a camera.

The Impact doctor says Cardona is out for twelve weeks when Myers comes in to laugh. Sam Beale interrupts and a match is made for later.

Joe Doering accepts Satoshi Kojima’s challenge for Against All Odds. Decay interrupts and talks about Deaner still being in the shadows. Deaner doesn’t like that and I think we have a title match impending.

Decay vs. Johnny Swinger/Hernandez

Alisha is here with Swinger and Hernandez. Swinger’s hammerlock doesn’t last long on Crazzy Steve so Black Taurus comes in for a double back elbow. A backsplash gets two and it’s back to Steve for an armbar. That’s broken up in a hurry and it’s off to Hernandez for something like a reverse Samoan drop. Swinger climbs onto Hernandez’s shoulders but then drops down and hits a standing splash for two instead.

That doesn’t last long either so it’s back to Taurus to clean house. Steve backdrops out of a piledriver and goes up for the middle rope DDT….which is botched so badly that I had to rewind it a few times to see what happened. Steve jumped right but Swinger didn’t fall down, instead standing there until Steve hit the mat and then falling onto his back. As bad as that is, it’s good enough for to give Steve the pin at 3:58.

Rating: D. The match was your usual TV match but that ending was so bad I had to rewind it a few times and put it in slow motion to figure out what the heck happened. I’m not sure how you can have that kind of miscommunication but they pulled it off here. How hard can it be to fall on your face when someone hits a big move off the top? Nothing match, but that ending was memorable in all the wrong ways.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Don Callis gives the Good Brothers a pep talk.

Slammiversary ad, featuring teases of debuts.

Good Brothers vs. Sami Callihan/Moose

Callihan jumps Anderson to start and snapmares him down in a hurry. Some clawing at the head has Anderson screaming and Moose comes in for a slam. The Brothers take a breather on the floor and we take a break. Back with Callihan working on Anderson’s arm but Moose tags himself in. Callihan does that right back so it’s off to Gallows for the weird punching in the corner. After a trip to the floor, Callihan tells Gallows to punch him more so Gallows takes him down for a chinlock.

Back up and Callihan jawbreaks his way to freedom and it’s a double tag so Moose can beat up Anderson. The spear is loaded up but Callihan tags himself in. Callihan loads up the Cactus Special, only to have Moose kick him in the face. Anderson rolls him up for two so Callihan kicks Moose off the apron. Anderson uses the distraction to hit a spinebuster into the Magic Killer for the pin at 9:01.

Rating: C-. This was a storyline match with the Good Brothers happening to be there too. Moose vs. Callihan would be a good warmup match for Moose before his title shot, assuming they don’t turn it into a three way. The match was fine enough and advanced the biggest story on the show, but it wasn’t exactly must see.

Moose spears Callihan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not their best show, but they did some stuff to set up Against All Odds. There wasn’t much to see here in the way of wrestling though and it wasn’t the most thrilling two hours. Violent By Design’s segment didn’t exactly go very far, though at least they did some stuff with the main event. All in all, a skippable week this time.

Results

TJP/Fallah Bahh b. Petey Williams/Josh Alexander – Mamba Splash to Alexander

Rosemary/Jordynne Grace/Rachael Ellering/Havok/Tenille Dashwood b. Fire N Flava/Kimber Lee/Deonna Purrazzo/Susan – As Above So Below to Purrazzo

Decay b. Johnny Swinger/Hernandez – Top rope DDT to Swinger

Good Brothers b. Sami Callihan/Moose – Magic Killer to Callihan

 

 

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Impact Wrestling Hardcore Justice 2021: Call It A Wrestlemania Surprise

Hardcore Justice 2021
Date: April 10, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

It’s the Impact Wrestling Wrestlemania weekend offering with the hardcore themed show, as operated by Tommy Dreamer. Now for once this actually makes sense, though somehow Dreamer is likely to be main eventing the show as well. The card looks decent and has been built up on Impact as of late, so it feels like an actually pay per view. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features Eric Young talking about how he has a sickness and violence is the only cure. Tommy Dreamer has that same sickness and tonight, Young is willing to provide the cure for him.

Ace Austin/Madman Fulton vs. TJP/Fallah Bahh vs. Josh Alexander/Petey Williams

Austin, TJP and Alexander are feuding over the X-Division Title and got to pick their own partners. Alexander gets run over by the huge Bahh to start, including getting knocked to the floor. Back in and Bahh strikes away but Alexander takes him down by the leg. Williams comes in but gets knocked into the corner by TJP. A drop toehold lets Williams hit a dropkick to the back, only to get pulled into TJP’s Octopus variation. It’s off to Austin, who is taken down for a nasty arm crank from TJP.

Bahh comes back in and gets caught in the corner for some shoulders from Fulton. Some double teaming sets up a running crossbody to Bahh’s kneeling back for two but Bahh backdrops his way to freedom. Williams tags himself in to take over on Austin and it’s back to Alexander for a quick German suplex. A blind tag brings Fulton back in to side slam Alexander for two and a big boot lets Austin come back in.

Austin’s spinning legdrop gets two but Alexander pops back up with a powerslam. Austin kicks him into the corner for the hot tag to TJP and the pace picks up. There’s a tornado DDT to Austin and everything breaks down. Bahh crossbodies Fulton down and the Mamba Splash hits Austin but Alexander tags himself in to steal the near fall. Williams Sharpshooters Austin and Alexander ankle locks Fulton but TJP grabs a choke on Williams at the same time.

Bahh breaks the whole thing up and it’s Fulton having to save Austin from the Canadian Destroyer. Everything breaks down again and Fulton cleans house with everyone going down. TJP knocks Alexander into the corner for a facewash and the Canadian Destroyer hits TJP. Williams stomps on Bahh’s ankle and Alexander ankle locks him for the tap at 13:41.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it should have been with a hot opener featuring some talented people. The Canadian Destroyer may have become one of the biggest jokes in wrestling but there is still a little something special about Williams using it. This was all about the main trio though and they could tear the house down at Rebellion. Good stuff here and they’re off to a solid start.

Here’s what’s coming today.

Hernandez vs. Shera

This is a chairs match dubbed Chairly Legal. Dang it why do I have to love puns? The exchange of shoulders goes to Shera and he hammers away in the corner. Hernandez gets in a shot of his own though and the first chair shot goes over Shera’s back. Some chairs are set up at ringside but Hernandez spends too much time on the building, allowing Shera to chair him down. Back in and Hernandez gets in a chair shot of his own and wedges some chairs in the corner.

Shera goes face first into a chair in the middle of the ring for two and the big ax handles keep him down. A quick spinebuster gives Shera two and they head outside with Hernandez taking over again. Some chairs are thrown in and Shera manages to superplex him onto the pile for two. Hernandez is right back up with chair shots of his own but here is Rohit Raju to blast Hernandez with a chair. A confused Shera gets the pin at 9:01.

Rating: C. Another not too bad match here with Shera getting a lot better, mainly due to not having everything focused on some stupid dance. The chairs were the focal point here and they didn’t go outside of that, which made enough sense for a one off match like this. Hernandez is fine in this role and that is all he needs to be. Not a great match but it fit in well on a show like this one.

We go to Swinger’s Palace where Chris Sabin and James Storm aren’t happy with being told to take the night off. XXXL comes in and can’t get a seat so a match is set up for…well actually one isn’t because XXXL gets to sit down. Matt Cardona comes in to ask what the deal is around here. He says Swinger has been in wrestling for 150 years so here is Dreamer to it’s MATCH TIME. This isn’t Wrestle House….but Dreamer is in charge so we’re having Cardona vs. Swinger in a Crate American Bash.

Doc Gallows vs. Black Taurus

Karl Anderson and Crazzy Steve are here too. Taurus hammers away to start but misses a crossbody, allowing Gallows to hit a clothesline to take over. Gallows knocks him down again and hammers away, including an uppercut to cut off a comeback attempt. A suplex sets up a chinlock for a bit before a trip to the floor.

Taurus is sent over the barricade and we head back inside for another chinlock. With that broken up, Gallows hits a bit boot but Taurus fights up with a shot to the ace. A top rope clothesline sets up a 619 into a missile dropkick for two on Gallows. Anderson offers a distraction though and it’s a superkick into a chokebomb to finish Taurus at 9:01.

Rating: D+. This was mostly a squash until Taurus had a nice comeback. I like Taurus a good bit but there is no way he should be beating Gallows here. That being said, there is only so much that can be done when Gallows isn’t exactly giving him much throughout the match. The Brothers are not exactly my favorite people in Impact and this didn’t do much to change that idea.

Violent By Design is ready to cure Tommy Dreamer and company.

Matt Cardona vs. Johnny Swinger

Crate American Bash, meaning there is a crate at every corner with something inside to use. Swinger, with the Swingerellas, gets rolled up to start and lies about the tights being pulled. Back up and Swinger hits a strut but needs to hide in the ropes, allowing Cardona to do his own strut, which will always work. Some forearms to the back set up a Paul Orndorff elbow on Cardona and it’s time to grab the first crate. Inside….is a framed photo of Scott Hall, which is a call back to the WCW version of this match because reasons.

Swinger knocks him off the apron and into the barricade for a breather. Back in and Swinger goes for the second crate but Cardona takes him down with a jawbreaker. Swinger pulls him off the ropes though and opens the second crate to find…a rat trap. Ok that was funny. Cardona gets his knees up in the corner and adds the middle rope dropkick.

Back up and a collision gives us another double knockdown but Cardona is up first. The third crate has….something Cardona likes but he doesn’t pull it out. Swinger gets the other crate and finds some brass knuckles for a big smile. That’s about it for the smiling though as he charges into Radio Silence for the pin at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Total comedy match here and there is nothing wrong with that. Swinger is someone who has gone from a complete groan to one of the more entertaining things about Impact Wrestling, which has been a great surprise. I’m guessing the third crate has some kind of toy or action figure inside, which would be appropriate for the match, though it does make me wonder why Dreamer had these things sitting around. Anyway, this was fine.

Cardona takes the third crate with him.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu at Hardcore Justice 2010. You need this on a taped pay per view? This eats up nearly ten minutes.

XXXL is having trouble keeping up with James Storm and Chris Sabin’s drinking.

Here is Sami Callihan to say he tries to help people, including Trey Miguel. It worked last week and under his mentoring, Miguel could reach the next level. Passion is about taking what you want and since Sami wants to be on Hardcore Justice, he is going to be on Hardcore Justice. The open challenge is on.

Sami Callihan vs. Sam Beale

Beale is Miguel’s student and Sami runs him over to start. Sami offers him a free shot and then knocks Beale down again. Beale’s face is rubbed into the mat and Sami bites him a bit before taking it outside. Some right hands have little effect on Sami, who snaps off a t-bone suplex to drop Beale again. Back in and Beale rolls him up for two so Sami nails a hard clothesline. The package piledriver finishes Beale at 4:05.

Rating: D+. This was a storyline advancement rather than a match and while I’m not a fan of the angle, it’s not like they spent a lot of time on it. Sami messing with Trey is either going to result in a big match at Rebellion or them being the Tag Team Champions. Neither is overly appealing but PLEASE DON’T MAKE THEM A REGULAR TEAM! Just let them fight and be done with it already.

We recap Brian Myers damaging Matt Cardona’s eye Jake Something’s eye. Therefore, it’s a hardcore blindfold match.

Brian Myers vs. Jake Something

Striker: “Look up the last time someone named Jake was in a blindfold match.” Good grief. They’re both blindfolded and there are weapons at ringside. Myers gets knocked outside early on and finds a trashcan lid to take Something down. In a smart move, Myers grabs him by the wrist and then finds another weapon to hit him in the head. They head back inside with Myers dropping him again and covering, albeit with Jake on his stomach.

Back up and Jake manages a sitout powerbomb, followed by some Scott Hall style shoulders while holding Myers’ wrist. Myers manages to find the referee and send him into Jake. The knockdown allows Myers to pull up the mask and hit a low superkick, which draws out Cardona with the third crate. Cardona slaps the mat for a distraction and slides Jake the crate. A shot to the head knocks Myers out and opens the crate, revealing a bunch of action figures. Jake hits a Boss Man Slam for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D+. Another match that wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a fun idea that advanced a bigger story. In that regard it worked out well and it isn’t like this is going to be anything more than that. Cardona vs. Myers is slowly growing on me and as long as it doesn’t get treated as anything overly serious, it should work out well. Now give Jake a new last name and everything gets better.

Tommy Dreamer and his team (Rich Swann/Willie Mack/Eddie Edwards) are ready for Violent By Design.

Rosemary vs. Alisha vs. Havok vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Susan vs. Tenille Dashwood

Weapons match and the winner gets a Knockouts Title shot at Rebellion. Actually hold on as Su Yung comes out to attack Susan and we have a replacement. Yung is too much for Dashwood, who runs off rather than deal with her. Grace hammers on Alisha in the corner while Rosemary and Havok knock Young outside. That team lasts all of three seconds before they knock each other to the floor. Dashwood grabs Grace’s leg so the chase is on, meaning Kaleb With A K almost hits Dashwood with a frying pan by mistake.

It’s time for the staple gun and Kaleb With A K takes the shot to save Dashwood. That leaves Havok to legdrop Alisha for two with Grace making the save. The big staredown goes to Grace, who cuts off Alisha’s try with a trashcan. Grace plants Alisha for two with Yung making the save this time as you can see Susan being taken to the back (only took the referees the better part of ten minutes to help her). Yung beats on Grace until Havok comes in with a noose to take her down. Rosemary gets the Upside Down on Grace and it’s time for little red bag of thumbtacks.

Alisha hits something like a reverse DDT to drive Rosemary into them before whipping out a kendo stick (which is dubbed Kendra). Yung gives Alisha the Mandible Claw to cut that off and drag her away, which can’t end well. Havok and Grace slug it out with Havok knocking her down (allowing Striker to get in the always wrong “they’re all the same height on the mat”) and going up. Cue Nevaeh to throw powder in Havok’s eyes though and Kaleb With A K adds a superkick. Grace is back up with a Vader Bomb to Havok but Dashwood comes in and steals the pin at 9:43.

Rating: C-. This started to drag a bit in the middle but Dashwood winning actually surprised me. It is nice to see her FINALLY moving up as she has every tool imaginable but for some reason nothing has clicked yet. The weapons were a pretty minor part here but hopefully this leads to Yung returning full time. Susan isn’t working so give us what works better for a change. Not much of a match, but the right person won.

XXXL is very drunk but still want their match. James Storm says it’s time…..to play beer pong apparently. Chris Sabin throws the ball at the cup and knocks it off the table, so Larry D. offers to show him how it’s done. This misses completely, with Swinger dubbing him Knuckleball Schwartz. Storm throws a ball at Larry and the fight is on with Storm and Sabin standing tall, allowing Storm to drop a ball in the cup for the win. Swinger panics because he forgot to pay for his insurance.

Deonna Purrazzo talks about how important Jazz is but her time has passed. Tonight Purrazzo will prove that and it is title vs. career.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Jazz

Jazz is challenging with her career on the line. An early spinwheel kick gives Jazz two and she starts in on the arm. That’s fine with Purrazzo, who catches her with an arm snap across the top rope. The armbar is on but Jazz gets in an elbow to the face, only to get pulled into a Downward Spiral for two. Purrazzo stays on the arm and ties Jazz’s limbs around the bottom rope for a change of pace. Some kicks put Jazz on the floor so she has to pull herself back in, allowing Purrazzo to stomp away some more.

They head outside with Purrazzo hammering away until Jazz runs her over. It’s time to throw in some weapons and they head inside again, with Jazz nailing the snap jabs. An X Factor gets two but Purrazzo goes after the arm again to take over. The title is brought in but Purrazzo pulls it away and chairs her down. A DDT onto the chair gives Jazz two and frustration is setting in. Jazz can’t get a double chickenwing so Purrazzo snaps off an exploder suplex. The Queen’s Gambit retains the title at 13:08.

Rating: C+. They were going for the big, emotional moment here and came pretty close to nailing it. Jazz might not be the biggest legend of all time but she has wrestled everywhere and done pretty well for a long time, so it is more than ok to give her something like this. Solid enough match too, making this feel like a good co-main event.

Post match Purrazzo leaves and Jazz gets the big sendoff, with Jordynne Grace coming in to thank her. This would be a lot better if Striker would shut up about Mama calling on the Louisiana wind and her children always waiting. Just….stop talking sometimes man.

Tommy Dreamer has been attacked so the main event will be 4-3.

Eddie Edwards/Willie Mack/Rich Swann vs. Violent By Design

This a Hardcore War, meaning WarGames (minus the cage) with two men starting for three minutes and the team who won a coin toss (Violent By Design) sending in another man after two minutes. Two minutes later, the other team evens things up. Once all eight are in, it is the first fall to win with No DQ of course. Eddie Edwards and Deaner start things off on the floor as Striker wants Dreamer to come out in the Willis Reed or Kirk Gibson moment.

They knock each other around on the floor before heading inside, where Eddie hits a belly to belly suplex. That sends them back outside…and then get back in, with Eddie hammering away to take over. The Backpack Stunner connects as time expires, with Striker, who read the rules earlier, not being sure who has the advantage. Rhino is in to make it 2-1 and the slow beating is on. Brown talks about how Rhino has changed, to the point where Rhino won’t even speak to him.

As I try to imagine Brown and Rhino as a team with Rhino doing the head shake, Willie Mack, with Kenny and a chain (which Striker thinks sounds like a country song) comes in to even things up. The good guys take over with various weapons shots, including a toaster (Brown: “I love French toast.”) until Joe Doering comes in to make it 3-2.

Edwards and Mack jump the monster but he knocks both of them down at once without much trouble. Deaner puts Mack’s hand in the toaster and bends it back until Rich Swann is in to even it up. Swann cleans house, including kicking Doering low, with a handicap parking sign. With Violent By Design down, Swann and Edwards set up a table at ringside as Eric Young comes in to complete the villains.

Young brings in a hockey stick to beat on people in various painful ways until the countdown is on and…..Trey Miguel evens things up with a golf club. Miguel gets in Doering’s face and gets crushed with a crossbody, which has Striker loudly thanking God for Doering. Deaner beats on Mack but gets caught with Swann’s handspring cutter. Rhino Gores Swann through a table in the corner for two, meaning it’s time to go to the corner.

The Tower of Doom plants everyone but Doering, who puts Eddie on a table outside. Miguel gets up with a top rope Meteora to drive Doering through Eddie through the table though, leaving Mack 3-1 inside. Rhino is sent outside and a pop up Downward Spiral gets two on Doering with Young making the save. Young is back up with the piledriver to finish Mack at 20:25.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good but felt a bit like the hold house show versions of WarGames in the NWA days. Yeah it’s a big, violent match but don’t expect anything taken to the next level. Miguel coming in to replace Dreamer was a surprise and Dreamer not getting the spotlight was nice. They did well enough for a main event here, but it’s no classic, at least partially due to Striker’s odd obsession with Doering.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure how much more you were expecting from a hardcore themed show over Wrestlemania weekend. It advanced some stories and gave us a few good moments with some talented wrestlers. For $10, that’s about all you can ask for and it worked out as well as could be expected. Nothing worth seeing on here, but if you throw it on, you won’t have the worst time.

 

 

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