Ring Of Honor
Date: July 17, 2025
Location: Curtis Culwell Center, Garland, Texas
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Caprice Coleman

We’re done with Supercard Of Honor and Bandido is still World Champion, having retained the title over Konosuke Takeshita in a great match. Other than that, the Sons Of Texas and Athena retained their titles and we are likely back to the run of the mill shows around here for a good while. Let’s get to it.

Here is Supercard Of Honor if you need a recap.

We actually see commentary so you know we’re taped from something special.

We get a quick recap of Supercard Of Honor’s results and preview tonight’s show.

Lee Johnson vs. Atlantis Jr.

Blake Christian is here with Johnson. They fight over arm control to start and then trade standing switches until Atlantis grabs a headscissors. Johnson is sent outside so the big dive takes him out again. Back in and Johnson gets him in the ropes, with Christian running in for a sliding German suplex. The chinlock doesn’t last long but Atlantis misses his frog splash. A Death Valley Driver gives Johnson two but he can’t hit a powerbomb. Atlantis hits a Canadian Destroyer and the frog splash for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: C+. As usual, the in-ring side of things is not the issue for Atlantis, who can do well against anyone. The issue is more that he’s only so interesting, which was the case here. The match was perfectly fine enough, though I’m not sure what is next for Atlantis. He’s in the middle of the clogged up midcard, and it’s hard to imagine that changing anytime soon.

Lee Moriarty is the longest reigning Pure Wrestling Champion ever and wants to become the face of Ring Of Honor.

We look at Mina Shirakawa winning the Interim Women’s TV Title…but then she got injured the next day. No word on what this means, but maybe we can have an Interim Interim Women’s TV Title!

Diamante vs. Maya World

Diamante snaps off a running hurricanrana to start and rakes World’s eyes across the top rope. Some more shots to the face set up a Code Red to finish World at 1:56. Just a squash.

We get an ad for Seed, the MxM Collection perfume.

Athena is ready to be the AEW Women’s World Champion.

We look at Dustin Rhodes becoming a triple champion at Supercard Of Honor, with a look at his quest to win the TNT Title over the years.

Rhodes can’t believe he won and his dad taught him to always keep going. He wants to carry the title for as long as he can. This was a rather humble promo.

Jay Lethal vs. Michael Oku

Amira is here with Oku, whose Rev Pro Title isn’t on the line. Oku wins a wrestle off to start and Lethal isn’t sure about this. Back up and they lock hands for some big forearms. Lethal snaps off a suplex but the Lethal Injection is countered with a hurricanrana. They head to the apron, where Lethal gets backdropped out to the floor. Oku hits a triangle dropkick, which is one of Lethal’s moves, for a nice touch. Back in and Lethal grabs a pair of cutters, setting up the Lethal Injection for the fast pin at 5:47.

Rating: C+. I’m still not sure I get the appeal of Oku, but this seems like the latest attempt to push Lethal a bit around here. He certainly has the pedigree to be in the spot, but he’s also only so interesting. That’s a recurring issue in Ring Of Honor, but there are worse choices than Lethal.

Respect is show post match.

The Frat House is upset at losing at Supercard Of Honor but they go to the bar anyway.

We look at Bandido retaining the World Title and Hechicero seeming to step up next after the match.

Hechicero vs. Angelico

Rocky Romero and Serpentico are here too. Hechicero wins a wrestle off to start and blocks a snap off the arm. Angelico takes him down by the leg and does his dance, earning himself a choke in the ropes. Hechicero goes up but gets kicked out of the air for a big crash. Back up and Angelico strikes away and grabs la majistral for two. A lifting Downward Spiral gives Angelico two but Romero’s distraction lets Hechicero hit a DDT. The spinning backbreaker finishes for Hechicero at 6:24.

Rating: C+. Another fine match here but it only had so much time. They wanted to make Hechicero feel like a big deal here and a threat to Bandido, but there is only so much to be gotten out of beating Angelico. Odds are Hechicero gets the title shot at Death Before Dishonor though so he needs the build as fast as it can be done.

Post match the beatdown is on but Hologram makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Perfectly fine show, which again is made better by the shorter run time. Ring Of Honor had a bad habit of stretching the show out longer and having so much filler, but the 45ish minute run time is pretty much the perfect fit. They have enough action to keep you engaged without realizing how low level a lot of this stuff can be. Nice follow up show here, which is a good thing to see.

Results
Atlantis Jr. b. Lee Johnson – Frog splash
Diamante b. Maya World – Code Red
Jay Lethal b. Michael Oku – Lethal Injection

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Lucha Underground
Date: September 27, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

It’s FINALLY time to wrap this season up with the first week of Ultima Lucha Tres. There are currently about 194 matches scheduled over the next four shows and that means it’s hard to say what to expect around here. They’ve done a great job of making this show feel important though and that’s what matters most. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of tonight’s matches, including Famous B. vs. Texano and Killshot vs. Dante Fox, the latter of which is built around being in the army together and Fox being left for dead.

Melissa Santos welcomes us to the show for a change of pace and Matt Striker is even more excited than usual.

Vampiro runs down the Hell of War match, which means Three Stages of Hell with First Blood, No DQ and Medical Evac (Ambulance match).

Famous B. vs. Texano

If B. wins, Texano has to join his team but he’s coming in with a broken arm. Therefore, Dario Cueto has made this a handicap match.

Famous B./Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. Texano

Wagner has his mask here because it was shot over a year ago. Texano and Wagner trade backdrops to start until Texano monkey flips him across the ring. A slingshot hilo connects and B.’s cast shot has no effect. The distraction lets Wagner stomp him down though and Wagner gets two off a backsplash. B. comes in and stomps away while wanting to know why Texano won’t just sign. Texano fights back with a sitout powerbomb on Texano but he’s not legal. Instead Brenda gets up on the apron to kiss Texano, allowing B. to roll him up for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: D. Other than Brenda, there was nothing to see here. Texano can only do so much and the Famous B. story is one of the least interesting things going on around here. He’s just not a character I can care about and everything he does feels tacked on instead of something that actually belongs on the show.

The announcers run down more of the card. I’m still not sure if they can fit all those matches into three weeks and give them the time they deserve.

Killshot vs. Dante Fox

After a break, the first fall begins with a First Blood match. They waste no time in heading outside as this is going to be all about the violence. There’s already a ladder bridged between the apron and barricade but Fox would rather throw a chair at his head. A shooting star from the apron crushes Killshot on the ladder to get the crowd even more into this. Fox chairs him in the head but can’t quite bust him open yet. Back in and Killshot hammers away but misses an apron legdrop.

Fox puts the chair around Killshot’s neck and dives off the barricade with a legdrop to the apron. They’re going straight for the violence here and that’s the right call. Fox pulls out a sheet of glass and bridges it over two chairs but Killshot catches him with a Rock Bottom onto the apron for a breather. Back in and Fox grabs a springboard C4 before throwing the glass and chairs into the ring. They head to the top with Killshot loading up a super Pedigree, only to be backdropped through the glass, drawing blood from the back for the first fall at 10:24.

The second fall is No DQ (because that’s totally different than what we just saw) and Killshot’s back is COVERED in blood. Dante puts an unfolded chair upside down in the corner and brings in a ladder. Oh this can’t end well. Like at all. A running springboard C4 through the chair only gives Dante two so he bridges the ladder over the ropes. Killshot is laid over said ladder for a 450 and another near fall, making me worried about what it’s going to take to finish this.

Killshot is back with a superkick and DDT out of the corner for two more. Fans: “FIGHT FOREVER!” It’s time for a barbed wire board (Striker: “The ancient Aztec torture rack!”) with Killshot setting it up in the corner. Killshot’s top rope double stomp only gets one but a running powerbomb through the barbed wire….doesn’t even get a cover. Instead Killshot grabs something like a One Winged Angel (without sitting Fox on his shoulders) ONTO THE BROKEN GLASS for the second fall at 6:14.

The third fall, an Ambulance match, begins after a break with Fox suplexing both of them over the top and out to the floor. Killshot is up first and drags a stretcher towards Fox as Striker accurately talks about the potential for infections on the dirty floor. With nothing else working, Killshot hits a super Death Valley Driver from the middle rope onto the stretcher on the floor, leaving a piece of Fox’s skin on the stretcher. I’m really not sure how to even respond to that.

Fox starts kicking his way off the stretcher so Killshot hits the double stomp off the barricade. It only gets Fox free though and they fight around to the front of the ambulance, which is backed into the entrance. Since they’ve done everything else, they head up to the bandstand where Fox chokes him with a cord.

Killshot throws him off though, sending him through another sheet of glass, which Dario apparently set up just in case they needed extra violence. That’s quite the……I guess the word is good, owner? Since Fox is basically dead, Killshot sends him into the ambulance for the win at 8:39 (34:54 counting commercials). I was worried about them doing a quick surprise ending there but thankfully they went with sanity for the only time in the match.

Rating: A. I’m really not even sure how to think about this one. Above all else though, I completely bought the idea that these two wanted to destroy each other. This wasn’t about having a match and there’s nothing wrong (ok maybe not nothing) with just going insane like this for a change of pace. These matches work when they do them once in a blue moon instead of every single show or few shows, which is what worked so well here. I could completely get how it’s too violent for some people and I wouldn’t put up any argument if you hated it, but I bought into the story which is what matters most.

Overall Rating: A-. Well that worked. Lucha Underground is great at setting things up slowly but then delivering in the payoff, which is what they had here. Obviously it’s a one match show but it’s also a good reason to split this show up. Instead of having a bunch of violent matches to blow off the stories, let them do something like this where the matches have a chance to shine on their own. The main event, which is NOT for everyone, is worth seeing but skip the opener. If the rest of the show is up to this standard, this could get very awesome in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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JR said this on commentary for the 2004 Rumble and remarkably enough it’s still true heading into the 2013 edition.

The Dudleys are the only teams to win the (non-vacant) tag titles at the Rumble.  In 25 years of the Rumble, no one else has ever won them.  I love little factoids like that which you would never think of otherwise.

Anybody have any interesting ones?

Unforgiven 2003
Date: September 21, 2003
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 10,347
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a request so I almost had to do it. The main event here is Goldberg vs. HHH as we’re in the middle of the worst year in recent memory for the company. This was mainly on the Raw side as HHH just would not allow anyone not named Shawn Michaels to do a stupid thing. He had matches with Goldberg, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash. Let that sink in a bit. Let’s get to this so we can get it over with.

The opening video is about revenge since people are unforgiven. Is that even a word outside of the WWE world? There’s also Shane vs. Kane in their never ending feud that few wanted to see. This is a Raw show in case you missed that.

Ross is WAY too excited to be here. He’s wearing a Sooners jersey for no apparent reason.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

This is a handicap elimination tables match as La Resistance have Sylvan Grenier, Rob Conway and Rene Dupree. This was supposed to be a 6 man but the heels botched a table spot on Spike on Raw where the threw him over the top and missed the table entirely other than the back of Spike’s head smacking into the table in a SICK looking spot. And we have tags in a tables match. Sure why not?

You can tell this is a long time ago as they’re only 16 time tag champions here. Sweet goodness that’s ridiculous sounding. D-Von and Grenier, who is by far the worst of the three, start us off. And now it’s Conway. Thank you for wasting our time like that. He’s an American that is a French sympathizer. We get the eternal question of why do the French love Jerry Lewis movies. That’s a great question and I’ve yet to get an answer to it.

For a tables match there is a severe lack of tables in it so far. It’s just a handicap match with the Dudleys being way ahead. The double neckbreaker hits and so does What’s Up. Still no tables. There are no disqualifications in this, yet they have to tag. I’ll never get that. Ah here we go. D-Von gets sent through so it’s only Bubba left. They’re not eliminated though. Bubba is WAY over here which is odd to an extent. There are a ton of tables here.

Bubba, from his knees, slaps the heck out of Sylvan’s chest. That sounded GREAT. He goes through the table so it’s 2-1 I guess you could say. Wait…are they eliminated? Oh does it really matter? Well there’s D-Von and the referee is fine with it so I’m thinking no. Wait it’s No DQ so it doesn’t matter if they’re eliminated or not.

Conway goes through it and in nearly the same spot he hurt Spike in, he hits HIS head on the table. FREAKING OW! It’s Bubba vs. Dupree here more or less and since it’s both Dudleys vs. him, what do you expect? Actually Rene wins for the most part and gets to set up a table. He’s 19 here but walks into 3D to give the Dudleys the belts.

Rating: D+. Well this wasn’t that bad but it could have been on Raw. Well maybe not as it actually got over ten minutes. This wasn’t anything special but it made the Dudleys look strong here which is the right idea. It’s nothing special but it’s fine for what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain that much.

We get a MUSIC VIDEO about Scott Steiner vs. Test. The idea is Stacy Keibler was Test’s marketer or whatever and then she decided she “loved” Scott Steiner but Test turned heel and wouldn’t let her go. They had a match for possession of Stacy which Steiner won and then Test beat her up on Raw. Then Test won her back. You have to love the human trafficking going on here.

Scott Steiner vs. Test

Well at least we get a great outfit on Stacy. Dang and Steiner was fighting with HHH for the world title at the Rumble about 7 months before this. That should tell you everything you need to know about both that match and the rematch. Apparently people in Kuwait are pulling for Steiner here. If Steiner wins he gets Stacy and if Test wins Steiner becomes his property. Again: Human Trafficking complete with tights.

Stacy hugs Scott before the match and I really couldn’t care less (and yes I mean it that way) about this match. Test tries a leap frog or something and gets slammed/suplexed for his efforts. Something tells me this is going to be BAD. How stupid is Stacy? Steiner says he only cares about his freaks and his peaks, so SURELY he’s being sincere about wanting to be with her right? Test is dominating here and keeps talking trash to Stacy.

I love the full nelson slam. It’s just an awesome looking move all around. Test does the push-ups to be a jerk which is kind of funny. Ross says Steiner has character. That’s rather amusing. Steiner makes a comeback but a low blow ends that. Given the amount of steroids he was on I’m surprised he felt it.

The Pumphandle Slam finally hits but Stacy distracts him. Test pulls the turnbuckle pad off so the referee has to fix it. He gets a chair, Stacy takes it and accidentally nails Scott with it. The big boot ends it. Steiner would turn heel the next night and team with Test and “share” Stacy, which is what Stacy wanted in the first place, making this entirely pointless.

Rating: D. Not much here at all. This just wasn’t interesting and could very easily have been done on Raw. That’s a common problem with the single brand shows as there simply wasn’t enough talent to go around to support a 3 hour PPV show with PPV quality matches. That’s a bad sign and you’ll see more of it later on.

Ad for a Trish DVD.

Ross, you look like an idiot in that jersey. You really do.

We recap Shawn vs. Orton. It’s Legend vs. Legend Killer. What more explanation do you need here? It’s weird seeing Orton being all cocky like this. To say he was awesome in this roll is an understatement. Shawn says he’s a millionaire in this package. How did he lose that in I believe 5 years to the point where he needed JBL’s money?

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

We’re in the Evolution Era here so Flair is with Orton. There’s no Batista though due to an injury but he would be back very soon. They do some decent mat stuff to start which isn’t something you see out of Orton that often. Shawn is being goofy here as he does the whole lounging on the top rope bit which is always funny for some reason. We hear a lot about Orton vs. Foley which I can’t wait to get to as that was a great feud that went on for a long time.

Orton skins the cat which has to be the best name for an over the top return to the ring spot not involving the feet hitting the floor or the top rope ever. I mean what else comes close to it? Shawn counters a double axe off the top into an atomic drop. Then he skins the cat just to be a jerk like only he can be. Now he dives off the top. In case you can’t tell, Shawn is dominating here. There’s a German, which I can’t remember Shawn using otherwise.

I love when guys throw out random moves because they’re perfect. Why do you have to use a signature move when something you don’t do a lot is far more convenient ‘and makes more sense? The only answer I can think of is because it’s how the WWE tells them to do. Guys like Shawn can get away with it because they’re guys like Shawn. Flair interferes like an annoying pest and sets up Orton to be able to work on the arm. Orton does a nice job of controlling the arm.

Pay no attention to that though as we literally are getting the life story of Shawn Michaels for the last 2 minutes or so. We hear about how great he was when he was champion and how many big guys he beat and all that jazz. The attention that he got back then was maddening. Seriously with all the heart that Shawn has he really should see a cardiologist. That big of a heart can’t be normal. He goes insane and beats up Orton on the floor as you can more or less feel Flair getting ready to run in.

Before I even finish that line he does but it doesn’t matter. RKO gets two and MICHAELS IS EPIC! Ross, the brilliant football mind that he is, calls then Florida coach RON Zook JOHN Zook. Oh look: it’s Flair again. The elbow hits and we hear more about HEART. Is he Ma-Ti from Captain Planet or something?

He nips up and the kick connects. He gets the pin but Flair puts his foot on the ropes because he’s EVIL. The referees back in the day were freaking IDIOTS. Orton pops Shawn with a foreign object and gets the pin. Sweet goodness the referees sucked at times.

Rating: B-. Solid match here, but I’m still in awe of the idiocy of the referee. That and having Flair interfering in this about a thousand times was just annoying. Flair became such a pest in this time and would never really stop. The match worked quite well though as Shawn was still great at this point having not broken down again. To be fair he didn’t do that at all so there we go. This was good though but idiocy and annoyance hurt it.

Jericho says he’ll stop Steve Austin’s tyranny. He’s a mentor to La Resistance for no apparent reason.

Molly Holly/Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

This feud is more or less about Molly and Gail being jealous of Lita and Trish being insanely popular. Standard stuff to put it mildly. Molly is Women’s Champion here and is actually looking good. Lita was out for almost a year because of a broken neck and now wears khaki shorts. Yep she’s gorgeous. The non-famous girls jump them early and that doesn’t work at all.

This is Lita’s return match. Oh seriously who do you expect to win this? You have two girls that are about as middle of the road as possible and the first two women to main event Raw. Lita and Gail are the actual starters and Lita nips up as we hear about King having a vasectomy. Molly hooks a Dragon Sleeper on Trish which works about as well as you would expect it to. Gail is gorgeous. That’s all there is to it.

Now Gail does a Dragon Sleeper. Trish walks up the turnbuckles and backflips into a reverse DDT. FREAKING SWEET. Molly looks good as a brunette and in blue. Trish manages to beat up both girls on her own since Lita is bleeding from the mouth. Lita gets the mostly warm but partly cloudy with a 30% chance of showers tag. Trish knocks Gail to the floor and Lita hits the moonsault to get the win which was about as predictable as you could expect.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect here. Lita was indeed a huge deal as she and Trish were just flat out awesome around this point but the injury took her out for over a year. This was nothing more than a welcome home match and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: announce that Lita is still awesome.

We recap Shane vs. Kane which started because Austin went off on Kane and soon afterwards had his masked ripped off. He then went nuts and lit JR on fire and tombstoned Linda on the stage (any bets on how much her Senate opponent would love that clip?). Shane of course got the first feud with the newly psycho Kane because no one draws face pops like Shane.

Pay no attention to the fact that the crowd got bored out of their mind with this because they had like 3 PPV matches in a row. The problem was that Shane could never hurt Kane but he kept trying anyway. He even threw him into a pit of fire. So then Shane got handcuffed to the post and had his legs pinned down by the stairs.

Kane of course had jumper cables stashed by the ring along with a battery. He electrocuted Shane’s balls. That was the signature moment of this feud and it made a lot of people’s heads hurt. It’s a Last Man Standing match too.

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Shane jumps Kane in the aisle with a chair and it’s on. That’s about 9 shots with it including a jumping one to the head. Shane wisely goes for the knee. That’s smart if nothing else so there we go. This is all Shane so far so I can’t imagine that it’ll last much longer. The beating I mean, as I can’t imagine this is going to be short. Kane’s back is bleeding but he catches Shane in a powerslam from a jump off the barrier that looked pretty bad. Hey I was right as it’s all Kane now.

Shane gets up at 9 from the chokeslam and then Kane kicks the referee in the face by mistake. Kane talks about Shane’s mom, which today would get him on a cable news show. He tries a tombstone on the steps but it gets blocked. Shane sets up the steps on Kane in the corner. Pay no attention to the fact that we already saw that they are hollow as he kicks the bottom of them into Kane’s face with the Coast to Coast. No ref though. Look at my big sad face.

Actually it is sad because it means this goes on. This is NOTHING compared to Shane vs. Angle from the 02 KOTR, but then again not much is. Both guys are down so we get a double count which I don’t think makes sense but whatever. We’re in the aisle now which sounds like a really bad song name for some reason. Shane goes into the set and it sounds loud. That’s about the extent of its good quality. So hey let’s do it again. Then three more of them.

We get it: Shane has heart. What is the deal with the big hearts in this company? I think the Wellness Policy needs a new amendment. This was during the time where the announcers set up by the entrance, so Kane puts Shane beneath the platform they sit on and dumps their table onto Shane. Sure why not. And then he laughs.

See the sentence two before this one. Shane is of course fine and up within about a second, blasting Kane in the head. He uses a boom camera to blast Kane which of course doesn’t work either. Shane chokes him with a cord and knocks him out in front of the set which has a ladder attached. He jumps. He misses. The match ends.

Rating: D+. This was just boring. The bumps are decent at best and Shane is almost always fun to watch, but dang man. There was just NO drama here. When Shane fought Angle, there was a real feeling that Shane could beat him. I know it was unlikely, but there was this feeling that he could pull it off and he got very close a few times. This just didn’t have it and 19 minutes is FAR too long. Not very good, but it’s not a nightmare by any sense of the word. This would go on until Survivor Series.

Shane takes forever to get taken out on a stretcher.

Jericho and Austin talk. Jericho was trying to get in Austin’s head for a long time but of course it never worked. Austin says if Jericho has a problem to take his best shot.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian has the belt here. He beat up both guys when they were having a triple threat match so Austin made it a triple threat. The Canadians made a pact before the match to take out RVD. I’d bet against that working. This is a smark dream match today. Ross says RVD is the best to never be the world champion. How did Heyman never put the belt on him? I can understand being shaky in WWF, but come on. In ECW? SERIOUSLY?

The double teaming actually works to start us off. And so much for that as RVD fights them off. And we’re into math world now. We get RVD vs. Jericho for a bit until Christian gets back up. He wasn’t very good at all yet and was just this young guy that got on people’s nerves. Think of Heath Slater but with short hair and a higher coolness to him. The partnership actually works fairly well here. Ross even calls it a modified handicap match.

That kind of makes sense but whatever. Wow it’s weird seeing Nick Patrick working for the WWE. The crowd isn’t exactly enthralled here. Ross points out that you can’t get counted out in a triple threat. Unless you’re trying to become #1 contender in TNA. We’re told that Shane is going to the hospital. Naturally he’d be on Raw the next night. Jericho took the tape off to choke Van Dan with and he looks weird with a bare arm.

Christian has been gone forever now. After RVD is in the Walls forever, Christian makes his untriumphant return and beats on Jericho, ending the partnership that never was. They would have a solid feud next year though so maybe this is foreshadowing. I love that jumping back elbow for some reason. Christian gets crotched on the top which sounds REALLY bad. The referee counts again and Ross questions why. I bet TNA paid him off.

In a cool spot, RVD hits a drop toehold on Christian to have him on Jericho and then hits a Five Star on both of them, but he doesn’t get a cover for no apparent reason. In an AMAZING looking visual, Jericho is on the top rope and Van Dam hooks an electric chair and Christian comes underneath to add a powerbomb.

The thing is that given how the other two guys were positioned, it looked like an actual powerbomb which looked incredible. Christian gets the belt and holds it in place to have RVD land on it in another Five Star, which is enough to pin Van Dam.

Rating: D+. This got TWENTY MINUTES. Now today it’s a classic. At this point though it’s just a bad idea. Christian was a glorified jobber at this point as he wasn’t ready to hold the title yet. Jericho was in a really weird funk and RVD was his usual hit or miss self. If you cut this in half it goes through the roof, but there were far too many dead spots in this.

HHH talks about fairy tales. He was just horrible at this point.

We recap Coach/Snow vs. Ross/Lawler. Yes, that’s the next match. They’re feuding because the former two want to host Raw so they’re trying to take over. They host Heat if that makes sense. Yep, this is a match.

Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman

The winner to do the announcing for Raw. Yes, they asked people to pay $34.95 for this. There’s no commentary for this. I think I can get by without the extra jokes somehow. The wrestlers start and Lawler kind of botches a rollup. Ok then. The lack of commentary is weird here but then again I’m watching Ross and Coach on PPV. You can hear them shouting at each other a lot better which is weird to hear.

That might be Ross’ big mouth though so there we are. Snow “hits” a clothesline and I say that in the weakest sense of the word hit. Snow, being younger and better at this point, dominates as we’re just waiting on the other guys to come in and make it a comedy match. Coach is the team captain apparently. Oh dear. There’s the piledriver on Snow and JR does commentary from the apron. The foot gets to the ropes but Snow sold that like he had an anvil fall on his head so I can’t complain there.

And it’s Coach time, which has even Snow wondering what the heck he’s doing. As usual, Lawler’s offense is shall we say limited? The middle rope punch hits but Snow makes the save. Ross gets a blind tag and the referee is fine with it I guess. He beats up Coach for awhile and I see why he stayed in the booth for his career.

Coach keeps shouting not in the face which is funny. And here’s Jericho to kick Ross in the head and let Coach and Snow become the Raw announcers tomorrow. Ross would beat Coach in 8 days to get the sanity back. Jericho says this is to get back at Austin for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. Seriously, do I need to explain why this going on for 8 minutes was a bad idea? It was mainly Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler and someone thought this was a good idea. Here’s the thing: no one really cares about announcers in a national company. Wait scratch that. They do care about them, but only the way they sound. We don’t want to see them in the ring other than a once a year match from Lawler in Memphis. That’s it. Now stop doing this nonsense.

We recap Goldberg vs. HHH which is more or less that Goldberg knows he can beat HHH and HHH knows he can’t beat Goldberg so he keeps hiding. He used the sledgehammer at Summerslam to keep it in the Elimination Chamber. It’s title vs. career here. Let’s get this over with.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. HHH

Also if HHH loses by countout or disqualification he loses the belt. Ross and Lawler are back for commentary here. Ross of course can’t remember when the stakes were ever higher. I love hyperbole in wrestling. This is nut cutting time apparently. Ok then. Ross says he has to mat wrestle Goldberg to keep the title. I thought he had to win the match to retain. Then again I’m no professional.

Goldberg in the shorts never worked. Also they remixed his music for no apparent reason at all. HHH still had a groin injury here so he’s wearing long shorts which look weird. We even get referee instructions. Lawler says it doesn’t get any bigger than this. Again, yeah it does. It’s a power match to start, which despite his huge muscles, HHH has never been portrayed as one other than the spinebuster. The Pedigree certainly isn’t a power move.

Goldberg of course wins it as we’re told that HHH is 4-0 at Unforgiven. Ross and Lawler are rather chipper for guys that just lost their jobs. This match is of course awkward as their styles just clash completely. WWE just had no idea how to use Goldberg. He was a monster but they had him lose far too much and be hurt far too much. They just didn’t get it and it never really worked. The spear eats knee and HHH takes over.

So despite everything that Goldberg has taken over the years, a knee to the head stops him. Sure why not. There’s a Figure Four. I get that Flair is great, but does he have to get so many freaking tributes to him? In a cool power spot, Goldberg catches the knee of HHH on a kneedrop. He just puts his hands up and blocks the knee of a 270+ pound guy, not even factoring in force, the jump that HHH did to get there, the velocity and momentum and the height he got.

That’s so ridiculously over the top that it’s AWESOME. HHH is busted open after going into the steps. And what would a main event be without a ref bump? HHH gets a sledgehammer shot to the jaw which likely should kill Goldberg but he’s up in like 3 seconds and hits the spear. The Jackhammer gives him the title clean.

Rating: D+. This was just generic. It could have been the main event of any big Raw minus the title change. Also, I know Goldberg was a big star but he just doesn’t fit in here at all. They try to make this a huge thing but it just isn’t. More than anything else they just wanted to get the belt off of HHH who had held it since like January. This just had nothing at all going for it though and just wasn’t interesting at all. Not bad from a technical standpoint, but just not a good match at all.

Overall Rating: D. There’s just nothing very good here. The thing isn’t that it’s a bad show. It’s not horrible or one of the worst shows ever or anything, but it’s just really weak. There’s nothing worth paying anything to see as all of these matches have either been done better at other shows or aren’t all that interesting to begin with.

Orton continuing his rise to greatness is about all that’s worth anything here. Again, the matches aren’t horrible, but there’s just no reason to want to watch them. Definitely not recommended.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 1, 2012
Location: Chesepeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma|
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

We’re in Oklahoma tonight which means a few things. First of all, it’s JR Appreciation Night but that might only be for the post show stuff. Also I believe we’re in the arena where Punk first cashed in the MITB case and won his first world title, which will likely be mentioned. We’re also likely to see what Ryback staring Punk down last week will mean, and on the Blue side, we’re getting…..wait for it….a debate between Big Show and Sheamus. Yet they wonder why no one watches Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of all of Punk’s antics last week, including the great promo with Foley and turning around to see Ryback at the end of the show.

Here are Punk and Heyman to open the show. During the entrance the Appreciation Night is mentioned. Punk complains about the attack last week and says in Chicago that’s called weakness. Punk was looking for a doctor at the end of the show when he low blowed Foley. He didn’t like the lack of respect that Foley was showing him and thinks Foley never would have talked like that to Cena or Rock or Austin. Punk doesn’t like the lack of respect this crowd is showing him either. Tonight, Punk is here to announce that it’s still not going to be Punk vs. Cena inside the Cell.

Punk whispers something to Heyman and Paul takes the mic. Heyman would like to move on to something else and that would be the proposal to AJ. This seems to bring out AJ but they cut her music after about half a second. Must be a production miscue. Heyman points out that while AJ didn’t say no, she did violate an ordinance from the board of directors, that if AJ strikes someone, she’s in trouble. Heyman calls for her removal from power and wants her job.

This brings out Vickie and Dolph with Vickie demanding that AJ be fired also and we get a clip of AJ beating her up a few months back. Heyman wants to know when this became about Vickie. Vickie cuts him off and says she represents the future World Heavyweight Champion. Heyman makes the obvious point that he’s with the CURRENT WWE Champion. Ziggler suggests Heyman and Vickie being co-GMs.

This brings out AJ to a surprisingly big reaction. AJ says she’s officially on probation which means we can drag this story out for a few more weeks. Apparently even Heyman doesn’t count as an exception so she has an executive coach to help with her development as a GM. And it’s Daniel Bryan. Bryan snaps on the crowd and yells NO a lot, saying he’s just here to apologize.

Bryan thinks AJ has gone insane because of being dumped by the man with the amazing beard. Now he’s the tag team champions, and you know who this brings out. Kane points out that AJ is a phenomenal kisser. Everything else that Bryan said was true, but he (Kane) is the tag team champions. Ziggler and Punk get in an argument of their own over who is better until AJ freaks out and reaches octaves even Vickie is jealous of. She makes the tag match you would expect her to make with the four guys in the ring. Total time for the opening segment: 21 minutes.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Epico/Primo vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cara and Epico start with Cara hitting a Tajiri Elbow for two. Off to Primo who doesn’t do any better. Cara and Rey have inverted matching attire now. Rey comes in and the cousins are sent to the floor, but the masked guys stop before diving Epico and Primo move. Here are the Prime Time Players to sit on the stage as we take a break.

Back with Rey tagging out to Cara who comes in with a big springboard cross body. Cara kind of botches a springboard armdrag but it’s not too bad. Epico dropkicks him out of the air for two as the cousins take over. A quick sunset flip gets two on Primo for Cara and it’s back to Epico. Cara spins Epico around and slams him into the mat to get some separation and there’s the tag to Rey.

A big kick to the head takes Primo down and a seated senton does the same. A spinning reverse DDT gets two and here’s Cara with a springboard missile dropkick. There’s a kick to Primo’s head and it’s a double 619. Both masked guys go up top and Cara dives on Epico as the top rope splash from Rey pins Primo at 9:27.

Rating: C+. When all else fails, throw four high fliers out there and have them jump a lot. It worked for years in WCW and it worked here too. The Players didn’t do much here, but what did do something here was the commercial. It’s annoying when you have one like a minute into a match and the post break stuff has to act like a full match for all intents and purposes.

Brodus Clay vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here and no entrance for Brodus. There was no entrance for either tag team earlier so maybe they’re trying to hurry things up. It’s an easy way to add a lot of time to the show actually. Brodus takes him into the corner to start and suplexes him down. A headbutt to the chest does the same but the t-bone suplex is blocked. Clay misses a splash and a springboard uppercut (you read that right) gets two and the Neutralizer pins Clay in 1:06. I guess it’s time for Brodus to be a jobber.

AJ comes up to Kaitlyn and introduces her to the coach, Christopher J. Stevenson, a guy in a suit. Kaitlyn will be ready to go again next week, even though she’s in her ring gear tonight. AJ wants to talk about their relationship and is all serious before going into an insane laugh. She isn’t really sorry at all and skips away. The coach says nothing at all.

Zack Ryder vs. The Miz

Miz takes him down with a shoulder block and a pair of boots to the head for two. Ryder makes a comeback and hits the Broski boot for two as we hear about Larry King as the social media ambassador. The Rough Ryder is countered into a buckle bomb and the Skull Crushing Finale gets the pin at 2:39.

Here are Booker, Show and Sheamus for the debate. Show gets to make an opening statement but Show says this is stupid. He’s going to knock Sheamus out and Sheamus can’t even kick that high, so the Brogue Kick means nothing. Sheamus asks Show not to rip his leg off because he needs it to kick Show’s teeth in. All of the questions come from fans and the first question is what do you find the most challenging about your opponent. Sheamus is looking forward to the fight and the biggest issue is the match lasting more than 45 seconds. Sheamus has something between his eyes that looks like a bruise.

Show defends his hygiene in response to something Sheamus said and the second question is who has the most devastating finisher (Booker, reading the questions off the screen, gets Show’s finisher’s name wrong). Sheamus mentions the 45 second loss again and Show gets mad again. FINALLY he breaks his podium and we go to the last question.

Sheamus wants it to be from his cousin’s Tout. It’s from Rey Mysterio Sullivan, which is clearly Sheamus holding a mask to his face. Show complains about this not being serious again so Sheamus asks how it feels to lose the title in 45 seconds. Show takes off his jacket and Sheamus takes off his shirt. Show is dripping sweat and he walks away. This was REALLY worthless and it doesn’t make me want to see them fight at all. It does however make me want to know what is on Sheamus’ nose.

Ryback vs. Tensai

For those of you that were fascinated by the two minute match these two had on Smackdown I guess. Tensai runs him over to start but Ryback pops up and smiles. They slug it out and Ryback powerslams him down with ease. A belly to belly is broken up by Tensai so Ryback clotheslines him down with ease. Ryback can’t Shell Shock him on the first two attempts so he clotheslines him again for the pin at 1:49.

The Rhodes Scholars love their name and make fun of the debate. Sandow wasn’t pleased with the lack of formal wear from Sheamus. They think Sheamus is a neanderthal. And that’s it.

More cancer stuff.

Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match Eve talks about how awesome the Divas are. Beth tentatively shakes her hand and blocks the surprise attack from Eve. This is non-title by the way. Beth misses a charge and hits the post so Eve goes to the floor to pound on the bad arm. Beth gets rammed onto the floor and into the barricade which draws a nine count. Back inside Eve is upset so Beth runs her over. Eve hides in the ropes and comes out with her neckbreaker for the pin at 2:35.

AJ runs into Barrett in the back and my goodness Barrett is tall. Barrett says AJ needs the coach because Barrett doesn’t even have a match tonight. He says AJ has done a horrible job with her emotional outbursts and letting her personal relationships get in the way of her job. Barrett leaves and AJ thinks the coach is intimidated.

We hear about JBL climbing mountains to raise money for poor kids. Nothing wrong with charity work.

Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Apparently the One Man Band now has two people with him in the forms of Mahal and McIntyre. After a quick dance off they trade shoulder blocks and Slater elbows him in the face to take over. Slater’s group is called Encore apparently. He slams Santino down and jumps into the boot and Santino uses his usual stuff. The Cobra hits and Mahal/McIntyre run in for the DQ at 2:51.

Encore destroys Santino post match. All three of them say their nicknames and that’s about it. Slater’s theme song starting with “I’m just one man” is really stupid now.

Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus

Sandow hides to start so Sheamus grabs him by the beard and pounds away. Damien hides on the floor as we take a break. Back with Sandow hitting the floor again, drawing huge boos. Sheamus chases him into the crowd and catches Cody trying to interfere. The distraction lets Sandow clothesline Sheamus down and he takes over back in the ring. After some basic shots to the upper body, Sandow puts on a chinlock. Sandow fires off knees to the chest and hits a Russian legsweep and the windup elbow for two.

Damien pounds away some more and gets two off an elbow to the face. Back to the chinlock as Sandow’s offense is pretty much exhausted at this point. With Sheamus in 619 position, Sandow hits a charging hip shot to the back for two. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Sheamus gets a boot up in the corner but Sandow knocks him off the top with a good right hand. A boot to the head gets one for the non-champion and it’s off to a front facelock again.

Sheamus gets knocked to the floor as Sandow is still dominating which is pretty surprising. Back in and Damien gets another two and then another two and then chinlock #3 assuming you don’t count the variations of the move he’s already used. Sheamus comes back with a suplex to escape the hold and hits a knee lift and Regal Roll.

Sandow escapes a powerslam and hits a flipping neckbreaker for two. Sheamus gets the feet up in the corner and a top rope battering ram gets two. Sandow escapes White Noise but gets caught in the ten forearms. Sheamus catches Cody coming and sends him into the ring as well. A single Brogue Kick takes out both guys and pins Sandow at 15:45.

Rating: C+. Sandow looked better than usual here but man alive does he need to expand his offense a bit. Five chinlock variations in a fifteen minute match is hard to get past. It’s very good to see Sandow get a rub like this though, as he looked credible against a guy who is way out of his league. Not a great match or anything but a good stepping stone for Damien.

It’s time for Jim Ross Appreciation Night and Cole sucks up to JR now because the scripts calls for it. Before JR can say anything, here are Punk and Heyman. Punk tells Cole to go sit down and asks the fans to make some noise. He says the fans don’t know the first thing about respect and says JR is going to make the fans believe it, by saying Punk is the best in the world.

JR calls Punk a jackass instead and Punk is mad. He wants to know what JR is going to do if Punk gets physical. Will Ross scream for Austin to help, because Austin isn’t here. Today is the 316^th day Punk has been champion which means that number now belongs to Punk. JR belongs to Punk right now too and JR is going to say it, no matter what. Ross says no because he’s called some of the best matches of all time with the best in the world in them and those people have earned the right. Punk needs to walk into the Cell and beat Cena, and then JR will say he’s the best in the world.

Punk takes his jacket off and steals JR’s hat which he stomps on. Them are fighting words in Oklahoma. JR looks like he’s about to cry and Punk talks about all the time he’s beaten Cena and makes fun of the Thunder for losing in the NBA Finals. Punk gives JR a chance to run or he’s going to get knocked out. JR goes to leave but Punk stops him, saying there’s no more commentary for JR for the rest of the night. Punk makes him take the walk of shame and berates him as he leaves.

Cue Ryback and JR immediately turns back towards the ring. Ryback stares Punk down with JR behind him. Punk doesn’t back down at first and the fans are chanting FEED ME MORE. Now Punk backs down, which is something he said he never does in his promo a few moments before.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Post Smackdown Del Rio attacked the already down Orton to put Orton off TV to film the movie I’d assume. Ricardo is going to do commentary here. This should be good. Del Rio immediately takes Kofi down to start but Kofi speeds things up as you would expect. Kofi knocks Del Rio to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Alberto holding an abdominal stretch with Ricardo complaining that it’s 3-1 with Little Jimmy and R-Truth out there. Kofi escapes and hits an elbow and clothesline. A nice dropkick puts Del Rio down followed by the Boom Drop. Trouble in Paradise misses but the springboard cross body does as well. Armbreaker and we’re done at 6:10. Most of that was during the break so no rating, but this was nothing of note.

The coach talks to AJ in the back about putting aside her personal issues. AJ wants something special to happen tonight, like making the coach the guest referee for the main event. This is only made interesting by hearing JR talking about doing a reveal in something we weren’t supposed to hear. That’s production gaffe #3 tonight. For those of you counting, I only mentioned one of them. An incorrect graphic was put up earlier as well as AJ’s music playing too early.

Hell No vs. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title and AJ’s coach is referee for some reason. Scratch that as after the break before the match, AJ comes out as referee. Well I’m assuming she looks better in the outfit if nothing else. Kane and Ziggler start things off with Kane shoving him around a lot. Ziggler tries to get on Kane’s back but gets clotheslined to the floor. Bryan tags himself in as we take ANOTHER break.

Back with Ziggler holding Kane in the sleeper which means nothing anymore. A dropkick puts Kane down for two but the monster comes back with the low dropkick for two. A jumping DDT takes Kane down again and there’s the tag to Punk for the corner clothesline. Say it with me: the bulldog is countered. A side slam gets two on Punk as we still haven’t seen Bryan yet.

Kane hits the clothesline but as usual, Bryan tags in while Kane sets for the chokeslam. Punk kicks Bryan out of the air but Bryan moonsaults out of the corner. A clothesline from Daniel sets up the kicks and he takes Ziggler down as well, only to walk into the high kick for two. Dolph comes in and dropkicks Bryan to the floor. Bryan gets thrown into the barricade which gets two back inside and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Punk who goes up and gets crotched by Bryan. A butterfly superplex sets up the NO Lock on Punk but Punk (with Heyman’s help) makes the rope. AJ ejects both Heyman and Vickie, which makes Ziggler leave as well. Punk walks into the chokeslam and kane gets the pin at 12:35.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but it felt more like an angle than the match itself. Bryan and Kane have more or less been turned face now which is the best thing for both of them. They also weren’t featured as much tonight which is another good thing for them, as the company was bordering on overkill with them. Not a great match but it did its job….whatever that was.

Overall Rating: D+. This one felt flat to me. The biggest problem of all was that in the first two hours or so, everything felt really short, making it hard to get into anything. I’m wondering what the point was in squashing Clay, but more importantly we have Ryback getting face to face with Punk in the ring and the place going NUTS. That’s a really good sign for Ryback and hopefully it means something for the future. Not a good show tonight as it felt really flat, but it wasn’t the worst I’ve ever seen.

Results

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Epico/Primo – Top Rope Splash to Primo

Antonio Cesaro b. Brodus Clay – Neutralizer

The Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

Ryback b. Tensai – Clothesline

Eve Torres b. Beth Phoenix – Spinning Neckbreaker

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater via DQ when Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal interfered

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker

Hell No b. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk – Chokeslam to Punk

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 26, 2001
Location: The Myriad, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well after last week we’re in a brand new era for WWE as we have Vince and Flair as co-owners of the company. Vince had his mind blown to end Raw last week and Austin is now the top good guy again. This sets us up for Vengeance but we need a concept for that. I wonder if we could think of something that would get people to watch while at the same time throwing away what could have been the main event of Wrestlemania at the same time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from earlier today with Vince coming in to see Flair. Flair yells at him for what Vince said about him on Smackdown. Apparently Vince put Jericho in a handicap match and made Austin get a 5-1 beatdown. Vince says he’ll make it up to him.

After the theme song, here are Vince and Angle. Vince gets right to the chase and says that someone else is joining his club tonight. But first, Kurt has something to say. Angle talks about dominating the sandbox and then the Boy Scouts. Then in high school he was the toughest kid in Glee Club and the prom king. Then he got a full ride to Clarion University and graduated Magna Cum Laude. Then he dominated the Olympics and the WWF. He says he’ll win the title at Vengeance and I begin to chuckle.

We get a clip from the end of Raw last week with Austin beating up both guys. Then on Thursday everyone got together and beat Austin down, led by Regal. Vince doesn’t think Austin wants to go through another war with him, so instead tonight Austin will be joining Vince’s special club.

Regal, Christian, Test and the Dudleys, the five guys that beat Austin down, find this hilarious. Regal says Austin is going to try to take all of them out so they should stick together. Flair comes in and says they’re all in matches tonight. If anyone interferes in another match, they’re suspended. Austin isn’t allowed to interfere either.

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Christian

Christian is defending. Jeff starts with a quick mule kick but he tries a flip and staggers on the landing. Apparently he’s lightheaded. Gee I wonder why. Christian stomps on the head and here’s Matt for moral support. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker but Christian rolls away before the Swanton can be launched. Jeff sets to dive to the floor but Matt gets in his way because it’s too dangerous. Christian posts Matt, sending Jeff crashing off the top, allowing Christian to steal the pin to retain. Short but it was about the Hardys and not the match.

Post break Matt yells at Jeff. Jeff yells back about who is smarter. Lita is told to shut up.

Hardcore Title: D-Von Dudley vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and D-Von is a tag champion. D-Von immediately hits him with a stop sign, which in real life would be grounds for near death but here it puts Van Dam down for about 6 seconds. D-Von goes to the floor where Van Dam moonsaults him for two. Back inside and D-Von hits a big powerbomb to take Van Dam down for no cover.

A HARD trashcan lid shot to the head puts Van Dam down but again Rob won’t sell very long and superkicks D-Von down. Rob goes up but get neckbreakered down onto a chair for a delayed two. Van Dam goes up but gets crotched again. Sell that? Nah. Instead he shoves D-Von off the ropes and hits the Five Star to retain.

Rating: C-. Van Dam’s non selling was really annoying but D-Von’s offense looked good. I always liked him better than Bubba but Bubba has about 10,000x more personality so Bubba got the probably better deserved push. Anyway, the match was fine given that it lasted about three and a half minutes and was a forgone conclusion.

Regal needs to go to the bathroom and Christian (after translating Regal’s European) and company agree to go with him. Bubba: “I ain’t holding nothing!”

Edge’s Creed Desire video.

The four guys all go to the restroom at once and Big Show is in there too. Regal is scared by D-Von coming in and….uh…..goes on Show. I think you know where this is going.

Stacy says nothing of note.

Lawler has a telestrator (the pen on the screen) of what just happened.

Women’s Title: Stacy Keibler vs. Trish Stratus

Bra and panties match with Trish defending. What exactly are you expecting here? Stacy can’t wrestle and is in high heels. Stacy is wearing a thong and takes Trish’s top off. Trish takes Stacy’s top off but the Stratusfaction is broken up. Stacy stands on Trish’s hair but gets rolled up and has her skirt/shorts takes off to lose the match. Next. Oh and Trish pins Stacy for absolutely no apparent reason.

Here’s Rock because we need more time spent on talking/not wrestling tonight. Rock says he’ll be the first undisputed champion after Vengeance. He talks about how great he is and thinks it should be Rock vs. Austin for the undisputed title. But they’re just the world champions right now so why bother doing that? I mean, WE HAVE TO DO THIS BY VENGEANCE, so we don’t have time to waste on setting up a big match right? Rock imitates Vince which goes nowhere and is only somewhat funny.

FINALLY Jericho comes out to interrupt this. Rock is usually awesome but dang this was a miss for him so far. Jericho brags about beating Rock with the Rock Bottom before saying there’s a weakness in himself. That weakness was caring about the fans and what they thought of him. Caring about them never got him anywhere though, which is true actually. Now he’s larger than life and he’s going to beat Rock at Vengeance to become Undisputed Champion. Rock says he’ll win and that’s about it. This somehow took almost ten minutes, which is longer than any match tonight will be or has been.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

Edge is champion coming in. Edge immediately goes up to the middle rope for a clothesline for two but Test knees him in the ribs to take over. A clothesline in the corner gets two but Edge comes back with that half nelson face first slam of his. The spinwheel kick takes Test down and Edge takes over. The big boot from Test misses but the Edgecution is blocked. Test powerbombs Edge down and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A pumphandle slam and powerbomb from Test are both countered so Edge loads up the spear which hits the referee for the ultra lame DQ.

Rating: D+. Freaking TEST can’t lose clean here? Seriously? What in the world was the point of this? Edge wouldn’t face Test at the PPV and it’s not like Edge had to do something to get disqualified because he wasn’t going to win. I don’t get this one at all and the match wasn’t any good on top of that.

Test gets a chair but Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert come out for the save, which set up a worthless tag at the PPV which Edge had nothing to do with.

Angle is curious about which cheek Austin is going to have to kiss tonight. Regal comes in and tries to get out of his match with Big Show. Vince offers Regal some advice which we can’t hear. This REALLY needed its own segment didn’t it?

Big Show vs. William Regal

Regal knocks Show off the apron because William Regal is a real man’s man. Nothing of note happens for about 40 seconds until Booker T comes in (wasn’t he fired because of Survivor Series?), allowing Regal to use the knucks on Show for the pin. Another minute long match that served no purpose at all. Oh and if you couldn’t guess: nope, this didn’t set up Booker vs. Big Show at the PPV.

Taker comes in to see Vince and he’s not happy. Vince says he cares about Undertaker and says he’s done nothing but respect Taker that whole time. Oh…..Vince is a lying son of a gun. He says Taker owes him. Vince is a lot taller than I thought he was. Either that or he’s standing on a box. Basically Vince says do something for him or get fired and not get to beat people up anymore. This also takes like two minutes somehow.

Lance Storm is mopping floors at WWF New York.

WWF had a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

Oh never mind as Flair comes out to make it a tag match. Now the logical move would be to add Austin to this so you can have the four guys in the tournament in the same match. That would be the logical move though.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. The Rock/Kane

Big brawl to start with Rock getting double teamed in the ring. Angle hits a big German and starts with the Great One. Off to Jericho who fires off some Flair chops in the corner, only to get punched in the face for his efforts. Jericho bulldogs him down for two and it’s back to Kurt. Rock suplexes Angle down and makes the tag to Kane who calls back to back spots very loudly.

A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two so here’s Angle instead. Jericho breaks up a chokeslam with a missile dropkick and things break down enough for Kane to get double teamed. A double suplex gets two on the big fried freak and it’s back to Jericho again. That goes nowhere so Angle comes in to get powerslammed, allowing Kane to bring in Rock to face Jericho. There’s the Sharpshooter on Jericho but Angle saves, only to get clotheslined down by Kane. Jericho loads up a Rock Bottom but Rock counters into a DDT for the clean pin. Yep, just a DDT.

Rating: C-. This was back in the day when they were going with the old formula of “have a guy lose over and over and over until he wins a shocker and now you need to respect him because those losses are completely forgotten somehow.” Nothing to see here other than a short (seven minutes, nearly double the second longest match of the night) main event tag.

Jericho takes the Rock Bottom post match because he couldn’t lose to that in the match for whatever reason. Angle saves Jericho from a chair shot because why would you want one of the people standing in the way of being Undisputed Champion to get hurt?

Vince talks to the five heels that have been around all night and says Austin will indeed kiss him. Regal gives Vince some Chapstick.

Austin has apparently had about 15 beers tonight.

Here’s Vince to close the show. Vince tells everyone that they would do the same thing Austin would do and they all know it. Cue Austin and Vince is WAY too excited about this. He wants Austin on his knees so Austin says WHAT a lot. Vince says the war won’t have to start if Austin just does this so Austin has some more beer. Austin wants to bury the hatchet so there go Vince’s pants. First of all, Vince gives him Chapstick and mouthwash. Remember people, we couldn’t have a match make it to seven and a half minutes but we’re at eight with this.

Austin gets on his knees and asks for one of Vince’s tricks. He asks Vince if he uses toilet paper and then low blows Vince. Naturally Vince, with his pants down, gets whipped by a belt. How has Linda’s Senate opponent not gotten his hands on this tape yet? The five guys plus Angle come out and brawl to the back with Austin but we still have like eight minutes left.

Angle stays in the ring with Vince and JR gets caught laughing. We’re in Oklahoma City so you knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Angle goes and gets JR to throw him into the ring. Vince says he’s going to make JR kiss it instead but as Angle is forcing him down, here’s Taker for the save. Taker gets the mic and lists off all the people that have come and gone (including Savage and Bret who were somewhat taboo names at this point) and they all kissed up to Vince.

More than anyone else though, Taker did it. He’s put up with Vince for years now and wants to know if JR was going to do it. JR says no, and Taker asks does that mean you think you’re better than me. A big right hand takes JR down and we have a heel turn. Did I mention that Vince has his pants and underwear down with his back to the camera? Taker puts JR’s hat on Vince and makes him kiss Vince, before Vince gallops around the ring like a horse and spanks himself (still with pants down) with JR’s hat to end the show. Oh and Taker’s match at the PPV for this big turn: a Hardcore Title match, just like D-Von Dudley had tonight.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve seen bad shows and I’ve seen boring shows, but very rarely do I find shows that tick me off. This one did that in spades. Vince McMahon was in the ring for over thirty minutes tonight. That’s ¼ of the show and doesn’t include all the backstage stuff he did. Almost twenty of that was for a segment involving him having another man’s face placed on his body. The total amount of wrestling on this show: roughly 21 minutes.

Let me repeat that. We had roughly fifty percent MORE Vince than we had wrestling. This is the company that at this point owned the roster of every major wrestling company in the country. Guys like Booker T and Lance Storm, two incredibly talented guys, are being used for brief cameos while guys like Rob Van Dam are used to fill in time against D-Von Freaking Dudley. Angle can’t get more than seven minutes of ring time and the world title tournament is considered a secondary angle because Vince need to be spanked on national television.

Let’s stick on this title tournament being considered secondary again. This is the WWF Title being united with the WCW Title. There are three weeks between Survivor Series and Vengeance. The poster for Vengeance has HHH, a guy who hasn’t wrestled in over seven months, featured alone on it. There’s no real need for a tournament and there’s no real justification for having it at Vengeance other than to have it close out the year.

The company is an absolute mess right now and it would only get worse when HHH came back and Jericho, the guy who would win the tournament, would be given a back seat to HHH vs. Stephanie, who wasn’t even gone two months. There is nothing good going on right now but the solution was obvious: WE NEED MORE VINCE!

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 2011
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first week without Vince McMahon at the helm and the first day of the HHH run WWE. This should be a rather change heavy show in theory but it’s possible that said changes will be slower and more subtle. Also tonight is The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio for the vacant WWE Championship in the tournament final. It’ll certainly be eventful. Let’s get to it.

We immediately open the show with the WWE Championship match! Not a bad way to get going.

WWE Championship Tournament Final: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Most of the roster is watching in the back. Big match intros occur as they should. Feeling out process to start and Rey takes over with some speed. Miz counters a rana to launch Rey into the top turnbuckle to change momentum. It’s probably a good thing that they waited a week to let them rest up. Corner clothesline gets two for Miz. Knee to the ribs gets the same.

Miz sends him to the floor and adds a baseball slide to keep Rey down. The fans are totally behind Rey here as is probably expected. With Rey on the apron facing down Miz misses a kick but gets sent into the steps shoulder first. Both guys are down as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock and the third anti-politics line from the announcers. Miz takes him to the corner but Rey fights him off and goes up.

Seated senton hits and Rey speeds things up. Springboard spinning cross body gets two. Miz drills him in the ribs but a sunset flip doesn’t work. Rey can’t kick him in the head with that swinging kick and Miz grabs a DDT for two. A big boot gets the same. It’s been about 80-90% Miz in this match. Victory roll gets two for the masked man. A dropkick to the knee looks to set up the 619 but Miz ducks.

Miz tries a powerbomb near the ropes but Rey counters into another rana attempt. That doesn’t work as Miz hits a pretty sweet slingshot sitout powerbomb for a close two. Miz loads up the Finale but Rey climbs up onto the corner and elbows his way out of it. He gets caught in the Tree of Woe though and Miz drives in some knees. A charging knee hits the buckle though and Rey hits a rana to set up the 619. Top rope splash gives Rey the title clean at 13:20.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but it wasn’t quite epic or anything. This felt like any TV main event. It’s a good match but Rey just hit his finishers and won the title. I did like the selling of the knee from last week which is a very nice touch. Either way, good stuff here and fine for a TV title match.

Post match Rey gets kneed in the back and HERE’S ALBERTO TO CASH IN! Rey dives on him though and Alberto picks up his case and runs. That wasn’t a cash-in he says due to the bell never ringing. That’s true so it makes sense.

HHH will give a State of the WWE Address tonight.

The roster congratulates Rey in the back and he gets champagne poured on him. Cena, who looks like a foot taller than Rey, shakes his hand and says good job. Rey says it was worth it and that he’s going home to his family with the gold.

We get a shortened version of HHH and Vince last night.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Evan Bourne

Dolph has a new somewhat slower rock version of his theme. Pretty sure this is non-title. Yeah it’s non-title. Bourne gets a shot to the head to send Dolph to the floor for a bit. Back in the ring Dolph avoids an enziguri and hits a Fameasser for two. Dropkick gets the same and we’re off to a chinlock. Splash misses in the corner and here comes Bourne. Jerry makes what is I believe the fourth political/Obama reference of the night. Shooting Star misses and there’s the Zig Zag. No cover though as he puts on the sleeper and we’re done at 3:27.

Rating: C. This was fine. This is also what Ziggler needs: wins over guys that he should be able to beat where he has to work a bit to get them. Not every match with a midcard champion has to result in an upset. You get an ok match out of it and Ziggler looks a bit more credible. Nothing to complain about there.

Kofi vs. Alberto tonight.

The Keith Stone beer guy hits on the Bellas and uses a marker to tell them apart. The other isn’t happy and now there’s a full tattoo on his arm.

Maryse/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

At least they all look good. Eve and Maryse start and Eve hits a downward spiral and then dances before trying a standing moonsault for two. Maryse gives her a Stinkface and Kelly comes in. Everything breaks down and Melina misses a charge, allowing the K2 to end it at 2:51. Thank goodness I don’t have to rate it. Match was AWFUL but the girls looked good.

R-Truth is talking to HHH and we can’t hear what’s being said. The Address is next and there’s a major return promised.

Cee Lo Green will be performing at Summerslam. Because all the other concerts at wrestling events have gone so well you know?

Here’s HHH and it’s time for the State of the WWE Address. This place is awesome and let’s thank Vince for it. However he’s not here to talk about the past but rather the futuer. Tonight there’s a new WWE Champion and his name is Rey Mysterio. However, tonight there’s going to be ANOTHER WWE Championship match tonight. Rey is going to defend against…..John Cena. Oh dear.

Also there has been someone who the WWE Universe has been asking about all week. Cue CM Punk’s chant. Someone is coming back to Raw tonight…..and it’s not Punk. Cue JR of all people who is back on Raw. Cole throws down his headset and stands on the announce table as JR is next to King. Cole talks to HHH and says JR is the walking dead, not the future. He’s done everything the company has asked for but the one thing he won’t do is sit there with this hayseed. He makes fun of JR and asks why he’s here. JR is fat and his restaurants failed don’t you know.

HHH asks if Cole is done. His first inclination was to fire Cole and bring JR back. The problem is that Cole has a huge severance package so it’s not worth it to fire him. However, if Cole wants to leave that’s cool but he’ll be in breach of contract and will forfeit all future earnings. Cole has the rest of the night off and he has until Friday to decide. If he’s on Smackdown, he’ll keep his job but if he’s not there then good luck in your future endeavors. Cole sits down and says he doesn’t quit. HHH says not so fast because you have a match tonight.

Cole is told he’s next and that his gear is in the back. Here’s R-Truth who says it’s out with the old and in with the new. He says HHH has been part of the conspiracy since Day One and now HHH is the man. Little Jimmy cost him his match at Capitol Punishment and spiders and heights cost him MITB. Truth wants to know what the boss is going to do about the conspiracy. HHH wants to know who Truth is talking to: him, or the guys next to Truth.

Truth keeps talking to people that aren’t there and HHH does the same. Now the invisible people are about to fight. Truth calls HHH crazy and the crowd gets a good laugh out of it. Truth says HHH is the Game but he’s not playing. Truth drops the mic and leaves. HHH: “Hey all of you stop!” HHH says he re-signed another guy and he wanted a piece of Truth. Heeeeeeere’s Jomo, for some reason not in a shirt. Wait was Morrison fired or something? They fight on the ramp and Morrison takes over, hitting Starship Pain to stand tall.

Here’s Michael Cole in HHH attire, complete with King of Kings as his music and a bottle of water. Oh my oh my. He eve does the water spritz. And his opponent is…..

Michael Cole vs. Zack Ryder

Oh my again. JR actually calls Ryder an internet sensation. Rough Ryder and we’re done in 28 seconds.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is a rematch from the tournament last week where Kofi got the clean upset win. Ricardo is back now. Alberto is in white not. He takes Kofi down almost immediately and gets a dropkick to the back of the head for no count. Kofi tries to speed things up and gets a cruficix into a sunset flip position for two. Alberto is sent to the floor and runs as Kofi teases a dive. Kofi is all fired up as we take a break.

Back with Alberto working on the arm. We get a clip from the break of Alberto hitting the running enziguri to Kofi while he was on the top, injuring the arm. Kofi starts his comeback and hits some kicks and a jumping clothesline to set up the Boom Drop which hits. Trouble in Paradise misses and there’s the Codebreaker to the arm for two. Pendulum kick by Kofi sets up a victory roll for a VERY close two as Alberto grabs the rope. I thought that was it. Del Rio heads to the floor but catches Kofi with a guillotine over the top. Cross armbreaker goes on and we’re done at 7:18.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent little match here with Del Rio looking dominant again. Last week was a fine example of how you can lose and not lose your heat. Alberto looks fine here and him beating Kofi here is a nice rebound win for him because he did it clean. I hope that’s a sign of HHH’s time on Raw because sometimes (not always) clean wins are far more helpful than cheating ones.

HHH will be on Smackdown. Awesome.

Miz wants to know why Cena has a title match tonight. He says Cena got all of us into this situation in the first place. Miz thinks things have gone from bad to worse with Cena around now and that Cena should have been fired last week. The face of the WWE has no face. Oh and Miz will be on George Lopez on Wednesday. HHH has made mistakes and Miz isn’t thrilled with them.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio

There’s a bigger border on the belt now. Cena comes out post break. There’s a Divas Battle Royal next week on Raw. Rey gets a kick to the leg to start and there’s a second one. They’re kind of feeling each other out to start. There are three more of them but Cena runs Rey over with a shoulder block for two. Rey gets a sunset flip kind of move for two and grabs a headlock.

Cena gets a belly to back to escape and gets two at the same time. Rey goes for the knee again but Cena dodges. He misses a charge though and hits the buckle chest first, falling to the floor. The dueling chants begin and Rey hits a springboard flip dive to the floor. Rey speeds things up but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Back in and Cena gets a waistlock but Rey gets up and hits a DDT for two.

STF doesn’t work as Rey gets to the ropes. 619 is caught and Cena tosses him onto his shoulder for that sitout powerslam for two. Here comes Cena’s ending sequence but Rey fires off a dropkick to block a shoulder. Nice counter and it’s remarkable how few people have blocked that before. Rey tries to speed it up but his spinning cross body is caught in an FU attempt which is also reversed.

Both guys are down and Rey drop toeholds him into the buckle. Seated Senton hits but Cena tries to roll through into the STF. Rey counters into an STF of his own. Cena gets up on one leg into an AA position but the leg gives out and Cena collapses, right into 619 position. It hits this time and Rey goes up top for the splash but it eats knees. Rey tries a rana out of the corner but Cena shoves him off in something resembling a powerbomb.

Cena loads up the top rope Fameasser but it turns into a leg drop on a standing Rey which only gets two. The fans are WAY into this too and I can’t blame them as it’s been a solid match. Cena sets the AA but Rey elbows out of it. Another 619 is set up but Cena catches him in the AA and is champion again at 12:47. I can live with this I think.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here as Cena got to show off his power and how effective it could be. I’m not sure what more they could do given the amount of time they had. Rey’s STF was a cool addition which we haven’t seen before on Cena, or at least not that I can remember. Good stuff here as both guys usually bring it in big matches.

Cena helps Rey up and celebrates with the title but some music starts up.  It’s a song called Cult of Personality……..PUNK IS BACK!  Cena holds up his title.  Punk holds up his title.  They stare it down as the show ends with Cena leaving.

Overall Rating: A+. This was a pretty excellent episode of Raw. We had history making stuff, a new champion, a pair of returns, no truly bad matches (the Divas make up for their weak wrestling) and a good HHH segment. I like where things are going here and things worked well here. This was one of the better Raws in awhile and I liked it quite a bit.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. The Miz – Top rope splash

Dolph Ziggler b. Evan Bourne – Sleeper

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Melina/Maryse – K2 to Melina

Zack Ryder b. Michael Cole – Rough Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker

John Cena b. Rey Mysterio – Attitude Adjustment