Judgment Day 2000 – The Best Iron Man Match Ever

Judgment Day 2000
Date: May 21, 2000
Location: Freedom Hall, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 16,827
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We kick off the series with this, which for the life of me I didn’t go to for some reason. The main event and more or less the only reason this show means anything is Rock vs. HHH in an Iron Man match for the world title. Other than that there more or less is nothing as that match takes over an hour. The only other good match is Benoit vs. Jericho in a submission match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video lists off things that happen in an hour, including births, deaths and flights taking off. Think they’re playing up the Iron Man match as important here?

This is going to be a tricky show for me as a friend of mine that I was supposed to go to the show with is visible on camera for almost the entire show.

Vince is with his kids and DX along with Brisco, the current Hardcore Champion. Patterson isn’t here so Brisco is the errand boy. They’re all in action tonight for the most part. Vince makes Shane vs. Show hardcore for the most part. Rock is champion coming in mind you. Even the mention of HHH’s name gets mad heat.

Brisco is getting the coffee and the Headbangers jump him, carrying him off.

Shawn, the referee for the main event, is here in fall too small shorts.

Too Cool/Rikishi vs. Edge/Christian/Kurt Angle

Angle is fresh and as goofy as ever here and I love it. He’s “all that” according to various teenage girls. He gives a nursery rhyme about chastity and “not shacking up with a bunch of guys, but stay pure by following his three I’s”. I love Angle from this era. Edge and Christian are tag champions here and bring out some bags. The mispronounce the name of the town and have a new Five Second Pose. They bust out banjos for one called Jug Band The out of context visual here is great.

Crowd pops BIG for Too Cool. Or is that for Rikishi? Their music is catchy if nothing else. The heels jump the dancers and it’s on. That doesn’t last long as Rikishi and his lackies clear the ring. Too Cool beats down Edge for a bit. Apparently Stephanie was in Shawn’s locker room earlier in the day and left smiling. I’m not sure how Becca would feel about that.

Scotty vs. Christian now with Scotty in control. Too Cool does some double teaming and Edge tries to emulate it, resulting in him getting crotched on the top rope. Grandmaster starts dancing and his pants fall down. Oh dear. Off to Rikishi now as this is moving a bit too fast for my tastes. Rikishi tries to drop his fat on Kurt but missed, giving Team ECK (Edge, Christian, Kurt, which is their actual name and not something I made up) the advantage.

Angle beats him down in the corner and the champions add in a beating of their own. Rikishi remembers he’s an upper midcard guy and fights them off to bring in Scotty. Edge illegally comes in so of course the referee believes that he made the tag. Off to Kurt and Scotty actually beats him down a bit. Crowd is all over Kurt here. Christian beats on Scotty for a bit as they’re tagging in and out that fast.

Scotty sets for a powerbomb and drops Christian back into a hot shot to bring in Rikishi. Is Grandmaster crippled or something? Can he just not come in at all? All three heels get stacked up in the corner and are splashed at once. Stinkface to Angle makes Lawler scream. Angle and Christian tries a DDT on Rikishi for no adequately explored reason and the fat man hits Kurt again.

Edge spears Rikishi down, being the only one with some intelligence on his team. He gets bulldogged down and it’s the Worm. And so much for that as Christian pops Rikishi with the bell. Grandmaster FINALLY does something by dropping the leg off the top to break up the easy pin and putting Scotty on Edge for the pin.

Rating: C+. This isn’t anything too bad and was a decent enough opener. It’s a fairly fast paced six man with some fun comedy spots and popular guys in there. This sums up this generation pretty well: I’m currently redoing the Mania reviews and am doing #13 at the moment. This match was more exciting than all but one match on that show and arguably a second. Let that sink in for a bit.

Of course we get some post match dancing.

Shawn is with Cole and says he’s going to call this down the line. There are apparently internet rumors about Shawn being jealous of Rock and Shawn says if it’s on the internet it MUST be true. Nice little shot there.

We get a clip from earlier of Eddie and Chyna arriving. Dean gets in their face and Saturn gets in Dean’s face.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn vs. Dean Malenko

Dig that pop for Eddie. Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion here which he would be like forever. Dean and Saturn beat him down with relative ease, throwing in a modified Decapitator ala Demolition. I love hearing them drop F Bombs in the corner. Leg lariat by Malenko takes Saturn down as Eddie is down in the corner.

We get some nice three man spots including Eddie getting a mule kick as a low blow to both guys. Eddie fights both guys back and gets a nice rana on Saturn to take him down. Dean leans into a headscissors and gets a side slam for two. Tornado DDT by Eddie to take Saturn down for two as Malenko saves.

Butterfly suplex by Malenko is countered into a sunset flip by Eddie which is countered into a Texas Cloverleaf which is countered by Saturn. Saturn double crosses Malenko as they set for a Doomsday Device. He throws Eddie at the top rope to crotch Malenko. Eddie gets up but walks into the middle rope gutbuster from Eddie. Saturn busts out a Frog Splash on Eddie for two as Malenko saves.

Perry tries a Texas Cloverleaf on Dean which Eddie breaks up. Brainbuster to Saturn as this has gotten quite good. Saturn charges at Eddie who ducks and it’s down to Eddie and Dean for the moment. Dean gets a suplex and a top rope splash for two. It’s a triple/double/whatever else JR calls it suplex as Dean suplexes Eddie and Saturn suplexes Dean. Chyna drills Saturn with the flowers and trips Dean to send him head first into them. Eddie rolls up Dean for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. Another fast paced and fun match. This is what happens when you put guys out there that know each other and have no issues with letting the other guys look good. There were some very creative spots in there and all three guys worked very hard. Fun times indeed and the second good match in a row.

We get a clip from Smackdown where Crash was taking a nap and Brisco came in with a referee and got a quiet pinfall to win the Hardcore Title. That actually was kind of funny. Brisco is sneaking around in the bathroom so of course the announcers are whispering. Brisco tries to jump himself in the mirror as he’s all paranoid.

We recap Shane vs. Big Show which is fallout from Mania. Show has turned face and is having fun and being funny now, so Shane ripped him for it. Shane challenged him for no apparent reason so Show promptly destroyed him on Raw. McMahon made him run a gauntlet match and managed to chokeslam Show (with some help from T&A).

Shane McMahon vs. Big Show

This is in essence a hardcore match. Show has almost rap music here. I kind of dig it actually. Shane dives over the top and gets caught with ease. Let the massacring begin. All Show to start as he easily throws Shane into the ring from the floor. We’re just filling time until the Corporation comes in to clean house.

Show calls for the Chokeslam and here’s Boss Man for the save. He drills Show in the knee multiple times with the nightstick but here comes Show. Show gets a powerbomb on Boss Man which is a move he could use more often I think. T&A come out with chairs so Show drills them both in the chair to knock them into the faces. Trish tries a low blow which doesn’t work so Show throws her onto T&A on the floor.

Shane tries to run so Show follows him up the ramp. Show launches him into the set like a rag doll. He rips the thing apart but Shane jumps up and grabs the bottom of the Tron to kick Show in the face. T&A come back to beat Show down a bit so Shane can shove an anvil case into Show’s face for two. Test even tries a cinder block but can’t get a shot in with it. Shane climbs the set but Bull Buchanan pops up with the nightstick. They knock Show into the sound equipment which falls onto Show’s leg. A shot to the head with a cinder block gives Shane the pin.

Rating: C+. Match was short but fun. Show is great as the monster and having everyone come in there to beat the heck out of him is a nice touch. Not a bad match at all especially since Shane had no direction at all for the most part. I would have had Show fight off the odds but that’s Vince’s company for you at the end of the day. Fun though.

Brisco is still looking for a place to hide. He picks the referee’s locker room and nods off. Naturally the referees in there try to steal the title but he yells at them and leaves.

HHH is talking to Shawn about his shorts which are far too small and far too tight. Apparently it looks like he’s smuggling bananas in them.

We recap Benoit vs. Jericho who are in their annual CAN YOU TOP THIS contest. Benoit made the challenge this time and is champion coming in. Jericho has a counter to the Crossface apparently. Hardcore Holly attacked Benoit with a chair on Smackdown so Benoit’s knee may be messed up.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Ross liked Benoit’s hold better because it can go on faster. That’s logical. Back and forth to start and Jericho goes for a Fujiwara Armbar out of nowhere. I would make fun of the lack of psychology, but here any submission works and Jericho is trying to get something quick so that’s ok. Tombstone attempt by Jericho is countered into a shoulderbreaker by Benoit.

Benoit gets a shoulder lock on and Jericho is in some trouble. Jericho reverses into a Walls attempt but Benoit blocks that as well. Springboard dropkick takes Benoit down to the floor. Crowd is WAY hot here. Val Venis is watching and gets a title shot tomorrow apparently. Jericho gets Benoit and the knee into the steps to further his dominance. Back into the ring and Jericho gets a Tiger Bomb into a backbreaker.

They chop it out and those things sound great. Off to Benoit now as the turnbuckle is exposed. Jericho’s shoulder is rammed into said buckle and then he does it again. Off to an armbar again which Jericho reverses and they slug it out one more time. Benoit may have a slightly broken nose from a few weeks ago. Cross armbreaker by Benoit and Jericho is in trouble. Sorry for the lack of jokes here but it’s hard to find stuff to make fun of in a good match.

Hardcore Holly is watching too, I guess because he’s a voyeur or something. Flapjack by Jericho has the crowd in a frenzy. Jericho goes after the knee and tries to get the brace off of it. There it goes so let’s whip Benoit with it! Lionsault goes onto the knee and Benoit tries to escape. Jericho locks on the Walls around the ropes in a very cool looking spot. I love it when you tweak a move like that to adapt to your surroundings.

Benoit kicks Jericho in the face to get out of it. Why mess with an idea that works I guess? Triple Germans by Benoit and he goes for the shoulder again. Jericho gets a shot to the knee and tries for the Walls. Benoit gets a shot with the knee brace and hooks on the Crossface! Jericho almost gets to the ropes so Benoit releases it and pulls him to the middle. Jericho gets out AGAIN but Benoit slips the arms beneath the chin and Jericho passes out to end it.

Rating: A-. Oh come on were you expecting anything other than a great match from these two? These are guys that I start on a higher level than I do most matches as I know it’s going to be good. The idea here was how good was it going to be and this was quite good indeed. Both guys had the psychology going of course and it worked quite well. Good stuff of course, but their ladder match the following January was even better.

We get a clip of Brisco getting jumped earlier. Cole talks to Brisco who says he can’t have any peace as everyone, including his kids and his neighbors are trying to take his title. Behind him some venders are talking to a referee. Apparently his StoogeSense kicks in and he pops them in the head.

Shawn is talking with Rock who says that this better be called down the line. This is one of the few dream matches that we never got.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Dudley Boys

This is a double tag match, as in you have to put both guys through tables and I don’t think it’s elimination rules. Tori is freaking sexy. Tori put Bubba through a table and Bubba looked downright orgasmic from it. Road Dogg does his usual schtick that is on the verge of being done at this point. The Dudleyz charge and clear the ring including the Fink who was still doing their entrances.

There are a ton of tables around ringside. You have to tag in and out here for no apparent reason. The Dudleys are the faces here. Roadie and D-Von start us off but it’s off to Pac and Bubba rather quickly. Pac gets a spin kick to take him down and it’s to the floor. Never mind it’s back to the ring. Bubba gets a middle rope clothesline of all things to keep control.

What’s Up to X-Pac and you can see Tori cringe. She gets up on the apron so it’s What’s Up to Road Dogg too. DX retreats to the floor as the fans chant for tables. The boys in green try to run and the fight is on in the aisle. Back to the ring with D-Von and Road Dogg. I think we’re at the point now where the rules are thrown out the window. Bubba gives Tori the eye and Pac seems to be ok with it.

Back to the actual rules part now which is rather stupid. Bronco Buster to D-Von makes me very angry indeed. D-Von fights up and tags Bubba but the referee didn’t see it. Naturally he lets DX change when he didn’t see them do it. Spin kick takes down D-Von but a double clothesline gets him out of trouble. Here’s Bubba who cleans about half of a house. Eh make that the whole house I guess.

It’s table time and the fans are into this all of a sudden. We get two set up in opposite corners and another at ringside. Road Dogg reverses D-Von and the Dudley is sent through a table via a pumphandle slam to make it 1-0 DX. Pac, like an IDIOT, tries a rana in front of a table and goes through it. Next guy of Road Dogg or Bubba that goes through it ends this.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring and get annoyed at the referee. Yep the referee goes through a table. Brisco wanders out here as Road Dogg takes a 3D through a table but there’s no referee. Tori comes in like an idiot and D-Von sets up a table while Bubba grabs her. Brisco saves her from a middle rope powerbomb with a low blow to Bubba. X-Factor through the table ends Bubba and DX wins it.

Rating: C. I know people aren’t fans of me saying this but this was what it was. It’s a gimmick match with a lot of violence and people going through tables. Not bad but nothing great at all. It’s nothing more than a way to catch your breath before the main event and there’s not a thing wrong with that. Not bad but nothing we haven’t seen before.

Brisco comes in and throws out some crotch chops at the Dudleys and say it with me, gets a 3D for his troubles.

Another His Judgment Day is Coming video, which changes into His Judgment Day is Here. This is set to a song by Kid Rock and had been airing for a few weeks now. WHY DID I NOT GO TO THIS SHOW???

The graphic for the main event is shown and the fans pop big. We recap Rock vs. HHH which is a feud that has gone on for like ever. Rock FINALLY won the title back the previous month at Backlash after HHH escaped Mania with it. This is considered the third chapter in their feud even though it’s their second one on one match in this feud. Shawn is the guest referee due to his experience in Iron Man matches. There’s history here as the last time Shawn was seen he kicked Rock to cost him the title. Both guys have threatened Shawn if he screws them. This video goes on forever and basically is both guys saying ONE HOUR.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH

Iron Man match and if there’s a tie Rock keeps the title. HHH comes out with all three McMahons. He actually sends the McMahons to the back to fight on his own. Wow indeed. Rock gets a great reaction. Remember this is an hour long so expect a lot of writing for this one. Here we go. There’s a clock in the upper left hand corner of the screen so we have an idea of what’s coming here. And never mind as it’s gone.

Staredown and trash talking to start us off here. Huge pop for the lock up. No one can get an advantage but they have a ton of time in this. Rock is swearing a lot in this. We’re about two minutes in and there hasn’t been any real offense by either guy yet. Rock grabs a headlock to get a tiny advantage early on. Top wristlock battle goes to the Rock and it’s back to the headlock.

Rock gets a trio of twos on rollups so HHH hits the floor to clear his head. They talk about playing the clock which is very true indeed. The smart thing to do would be to bring handcuffs and chain a guy up outside and get like 100 ten counts. Back in and we hit the headlock again. Big punch sends HHH back to the floor again. Back in and back to the headlock, which makes sense here.

HHH tries a leap frog so Rock hits him in the face. He avoids the Rock Bottom and takes Rock down via a clothesline. HHH works on the arm as we haven’t had the clock since the very beginning so it’s kind of hard to say how much time last gone by. Rock starts fighting back but walks into a DDT on the arm to be put back in trouble. Ah there’s the clock and we have just over 50 minutes to go.

More right hands by Rock and HHH hits the ropes. ROCK BOTTOM OUT OF NOWHERE and Rock is up 1-0! Crowd pops huge for the first fall as that was incredibly sudden. HHH isn’t up yet and we have 49 minutes to go. Jerry points out that Rock is more or less up 2-0 as HHH has to beat him, not tie him.

We head to the floor and brawl up the aisle with HHH going into the railing. Rock suplexes HHH back in to get two. Shawn has been a nonfactor so far. Rock wraps HHH’s leg around the post and is dominating at the moment. A lot more knee work by the Rock and HHH is in big trouble. Rock goes back to the knee even more.

Here comes a Figure Four and HHH is screaming OW! We get into the always interesting debate over should HHH give up to break the hold or try to fight out of it. Rock gets three two counts here as HHH needs a break badly. There’s a reversal so he managed to get said break. His leg is almost destroyed though.

Out to the floor and HHH can barely walk. We fight into the crowd for a bit with Rock landing in some big shots. Back to ringside now with HHH in control. We’re past 20 minutes in now. Sorry for the lack of time details but they don’t put it up so I can’t keep up with it that well.

An elbow gets two for HHH. Actually he gets a bunch of twos here. HHH hammers in the corner but Rock gets some kicks to the knee as he’s using some psychology. He gets thrown to the floor for his efforts though and the count is on. HHH breaks up the count and gets thrown knees first into the steps to reinjure them.

Back in and Rock stays on the knee. HHH hammers away but Rock gets a knee crusher to break that up. Rock wants another Figure Four but HHH shoves him off and gets a Pedigree out of nowhere (that’s been happening a lot in this match) to tie it up with 34:30 to go. Instead of covering again he chokes Rock for no apparent reason. Rock is mostly dead on his feet so HHH ducks down into a small package to get his second pin in 67 seconds to take the lead! 33:23 left.

We hit the floor and Rock is sent into the barricade. Rock walks up the aisle as HHH follows him in an attempt to get some breath. HHH catches him but Rock whips him into the set. Rock tries a suplex but HHH counters into one of his own to take Rock down. Both guys are down in the aisle and we pass thirty minutes. This is the longest match either guy has ever had apparently.

Rock whips him into the apron and gets a backdrop to go after his back a bit. Shawn is yelling at the announcers, saying there won’t be any BS countouts. Rock sends him in but puts his head down, getting caught by a facebuster. A Piledriver of all things (Lawler loves it) gives HHH a 3-1 lead with 27:30 to go. Shawn screws up as HHH is still laying on Rock but Shawn doesn’t count.

Rock gets a huge clothesline out of nowhere but HHH takes his head off for two. The guys are starting to get tired but it’s nothing serious yet. HHH goes up but Rock slams/arm drags him off the top. Both guys down now with 25 minutes left. Rock is up first and he SMACKS HHH with some rights. The Rock: laying out justice with his fists.

La Magistrol (a Mexican cradle that Eddie often used) gets two for Rock. Rock might have a small cut on his forehead. There’s a sleeper by HHH which as JR and I agree on, is a smart move. Rock gets his arm up before the third drop so HHH channels his inner Flair and puts his feet on the ropes. Repeat the last sentence but this time Shawn catches HHH and breaks up the hold.

Rock fights up and gets some right hands. Another sleeper is blocked into a belly to belly but both guys are down. Rock tries the spinning DDT that he used as Rocky Maivia. That is botched to heck and back as instead of a DDT Rock loses his grip. He settles for a regular DDT instead and it’s 3-2 with HHH still in the lead at 19:20 to go. They’re mixing things up here as we’ve had five falls and two have been off finishers.

Out to the floor again and Rock drops him on the barrier. HHH grabs a chair but Shawn grabs it away from him. Rock sends him shoulder first into the steps. Back in the ring and HHH blasts Rock with the chair for the DQ to tie it up at just over 16 minutes left. Since Rock is out cold, HHH throws out a rollup to go up 4-3 at just under 16 minutes. That my friends, is psychology.

Rock is busted open now. 15 minutes left and Shawn looks at the cut which is nothing bad at all. HHH throws on a sleeper again which of course gets two arm drops. Rock fights back with punches but the sleeper goes on again and this time it actually gets a fall, giving HHH a 5-3 lead with about 12:30 to go. HHH won’t let go so Shawn makes him break the hold. Shawn gets in his face and HHH doesn’t like that in the slightest.

The argument lets Rock get to his feet and it’s time for more punching. HHH gets sent over the top rope, landing on a cameraman to give us the eternally funny view of the camera flying everywhere. Ten minutes to go and HHH goes up top. Being a heel he gets crotched and it’s a superplex by Rock to get the crowd right back into it. 8:45 to go.

Both guys are down and the count is on. Rock drapes an arm over but can only get a long two. 8 minutes left. HHH gets knocked to the floor and Rock lands a slingshot to put HHH into the post. The Great One gets sent into the steps and both guys are down with six minutes to go. And now, for the announce table.

Five minutes left and HHH wants the Rock Bottom on the table. Rock counters into a Pedigree and the table doesn’t break! FREAKING OW MAN! HHH is more or less dead so Rock slides in and it’s a countout for the Rock to make it 5-4 at 3:50 to go. HHH is bleeding now too. Here come the McMahons! Shawn starts the count again and HHH beats it by a second.

Rock is all fired up and they crank this up again. DDT gets two as Rock drills both McMahon men. Spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow and we’re tied up with 2 minutes to go! DX is here too. Shane pulls Shawn to the floor so Shawn beats up both McMahon men as well. There’s a strange noise in the arena and DX is in the ring. Shawn gets knocked to the floor, and a video appears on the screen.

It’s the nursery rhyme video from earlier and Rock gets a Rock Bottom. DX and Shane beats the tar out of him and Shane gets a big chair shot. The funny thing about the video at this point is someone was covering up the letter I in “Is NOW” so I thought the video said Snow, making me wonder why Al Snow was here.

Anyway in case you’re a moron, it’s the Undertaker and the debut of the biker character. The song saying “He’s here!” just as we got the first shot of Taker on the motorcycle couldn’t have been more perfect. The crowd loses their minds as Taker annihilates DX and the McMahons, including the BIGGEST CHOKESLAM EVER to X-Pac. Serves you right you little pest. Everyone gets drilled including Vince.

Stephanie tries to be the hero but Taker grabs her by the throat too. HHH makes the save and gets a chokeslam for his troubles. Now this is where they screw it up. The clock shows about 5 seconds left as HHH is chokeslamed. Shawn sees this but Taker gets a Tombstone as well, clearly after the time (the clock disappeared with 3 seconds left) expired and the buzzer sounded late. Taker waited for the buzzer to go off to hit the Tombstone, but Shawn calls a DQ anyway and HHH wins the title. The chokeslam would have been enough for the DQ, but the way they ended it kind of screwed things up.

Rating: A. This was FUN. They realized they screwed up in 96 so this time they made it all about can you top this with the fast pace and most importantly, NO REST HOLDS! I have zero problem with guys being out there for 40 minutes and needing 60 seconds to catch their breath, but in 96 the match was probably 20 minutes resting.

This was a fast paced match between two stallions and the whole thing came out great. The ending was a bit botched but it was insane enough that the fans ate it up with a spoon. Another important thing was the lack of finishers. It wouldn’t make sense for them to be able to kick out of everything after such a war so they didn’t insult our intelligence by having them do it. Excellent match that flew by.

Overall Rating: A. GREAT show here with not a bad match to be found. 2000 might be the best year the company ever had and this is a great example of it. Everyone was working hard out there and the results are proof as to what hard work can do. There isn’t a bad match on the card with even the worst match being ok. The company was hot at this point and WCW was already decaying in their grave. Great show and definitely worth checking out.

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Judgment Day 2002: Jump Hogan Jump!

Judgment Day 2002
Date: May 19, 2002
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 14,521
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry LawlerWe’re firmly on the other side of the glory years here. However coming into this show the Undisputed WWE Championship is Hulk Hogan and he defends against the Undertaker. Also on the card we have a forgotten Hell in a Cell match with HHH vs. Chris Jericho. This looks decent on paper but in reality something tells me it’s not going to go that well, as most shows from this era didn’t. Let’s get to it.The opening video is almost creepy, as we see some people from what looks like the Salem Witch Trials being ready to go to the gallows and a voiceover talking about how what do you in life determines what happensIntercontinental Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rob Van DamEddie is champion coming in here and this is the second match in a series of I think three, the final of which being a ladder match. They talk some trash and Van Dam grabs a headlock to start. They speed things up to start with Van Dam getting a powerslam for two. Eddie hits the floor and is all frustrated. Back in with Eddie taking over with some shots.Van Dam fakes Eddie out with what would have been a cross body off the second rope and hits a split legged moonsault in a nice move. Suplex gets two for RVD. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Van Dam. He tries a surfboard but Eddies gets to the ropes. RVD drops an elbow on the back which has been his focal point so far. There’s the surfboard with Eddie in trouble.After Eddie gets two with that, Van Dam kicks Eddie into the air out of a surfboard and rolls out to let Eddie hit the mat. Eddie finally gets a right hand in to take over for the first time all match. He chokes away in the corner and heads to the outside to get in some offense while Van Dam is on the apron. Back in now with Eddie firmly in control.Rob gets a monkey flip to send Eddie flying onto his back again and adds some shoulders to the back. Another monkey flip sends Eddie down again as momentum shifts. Rolling Thunder gets two. The stepover spin kick by RVD sets up what was going to be the Five Star I guess but Eddie crotches him. A powerbomb out of the corner gets no cover for Eddie.

Guerrero goes up for the Frog Splash which is the point of this match: the battle of the frog splashes. Eddie takes too much time since he’s a heel and Van Dam rolls away. Another kick puts Eddie down but the Five Star misses. Both guys get up slowly and Eddie is all fired up. They speed it up again and Van Dam gets a cross body for two. Backslide gets the same for RVD but Eddie’s gets three. Granted he had his feet on the ropes but then again he likes to cheat.

Rating: B-. Decent match here and not bad for an opener. They would fight again very soon on Raw with Van Dam getting the title in a much better match. Still though this wasn’t bad as both guys looked pretty good out there. Remember when the IC Title was the wrestlers’ title? I miss those days.

Reverend D-Von says it’s time for prayer. He’s with Deacon Batista, Stacy (HOT!) and Vince. He’s managing Stacy in her match against Trish. The Dudleys are feuding here and no one cared, much like now.

Add for the new WWE, which has “gotten the F out”. Get it?

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler

Each is going to have a Dudley in their corner for reasons of bad writing. Molly vs. Trish had been built up for months but they went with this instead because they picked the Dudley feud to be the better draw. Trish interrupted a swimsuit contest to set this up on Thursday. Well at least we get D-Von’s music. Aww man they hadn’t changed it yet so it’s just organ music. Dang it!

Naturally Bubba Ray Dudley is here. This was right before they were going to build him up as one of the top faces on Raw. Yes, that’s a true story. I’ll wait a bit while you regain consciousness. Stacy throws a kick that hits (read as her foot might have been two feet from Trish’s head, prompting a groan from the crowd) for two. Trish was just ok in the ring at this point and the awful Boston Crab shows that.

Stacy counters and Trish counters that into a rollup for two. This is quickly getting embarrassing, which says a lot as we’re maybe a minute into it. Trish hammers away and Stacy is sent to the floor where she has a fit. Batista comes in and drills Trish (lucky) with a slam that gets two for Stacy. Stacy chokes away and Trish fights back, getting a bulldog (minus springboard) to end this quickly. Terrible match but Stacy looked great.

Post match D-Von offers Bubba a hug but it’s a trap. Batista jumps Bubba and gets thrown to the floor. When will you ever see THAT again? D-Von jumps him and tells Batista to get the tables. Bubba blocks a Batista Bomb but gets drilled by the money box and then put through the table by a double flapjack.

Flair and Arn are talking and Vince comes in. Flair is teaming with Big Show later to fight Austin. They seem like they’re just meeting despite feuding earlier in the year. He says he’ll take control of Austin and Vince hugs him while rolling his eyes. Odd segment to put it mildly.

Hardy Boys vs. Paul Heyman/Brock Lesnar

Brock had debuted the night after Mania and he needed a first feud I guess. He’s been destroying people right and left so this is pretty much a given. Brock doesn’t even have his signature music yet. The Hardys jump Lesnar to do what they can earlier to get at Heyman. That lasts about 4 seconds as Brock just goes off on Jeff to start us off. Ross HATES Heyman here and the commentary is funny stuff.

Brock beats up both guys with ease as neither Hardy can do anything with him. The fans chant for Goldberg. Trust me, you don’t want Lesnar vs. Goldberg. Heyman keeps orgasming over Brock every 2 seconds. Brock destroys Matt with ease as I guess we’re waiting on Jeff to come in. Matt gets a tornado DDT to break the momentum and make Paul terrified. There’s Jeff who hits the Whisper in the Wind and some double teaming puts Brock down for a bit.

Poetry in Motion hits Brock and Lesnar is sent to the floor. Heyman runs as fast as he can but gets caught in the ring by Matt. Poetry in Motion takes him down but Brock ends Matt. Brock stands in front of the Swanton so Jeff dives on him. In the words of Tazz, here comes the pain. HUGE F5 puts Jeff down and Heyman gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here as the Hardys best stuff got nothing in there on Brock. They were there to make Brock look good and that’s what they did. Brock would be King of the Ring in the next month and therefore the #1 contender for the eventual Champion The Rock at Summerslam where he would become a star.

Booker is glad to be part of the NWO. This didn’t last long and they pulled the plug on it very soon due to reasons of suck. Booker talks to some random chick who whispers a place she wants Booker to autograph in his ear.

There’s a hair vs. hair match later with Edge vs. Angle so we look at the barber stuff.

We recap Austin vs. Flair/Big Show. This was about Flair vs. Austin with Austin not wanting to be on Flair’s (he was co-owner of the company) brand. Flair was a guest referee and accidentally screwed Austin over as he didn’t see Austin’s foot on the rope in a #1 contenders match. Show came in as the enforcer dude. Oh and they’re both in the NWO.

Steve Austin vs. Ric Flair/Big Show

Show is in his women’s one piece swimsuit here. Ok apparently Flair isn’t in the NWO. That blue robe really does work on him, but why is the Raw owner wearing the Smackdown color? Also what happened to those robes while he’s in TNA? Is there a reason Austin is in the fourth match of the show? He would bail very soon after this and be gone for months. Austin fights both guys at once even though they have to tag.

Austin actually used double axes instead of punches on Show. Flair gets clotheslined to the floor and Austin gets a figure four on Show. Flair saves as this has been all Austin so far. He gets the figure four on Flair and avoids a leg drop from Show. Steve grabs a chair which is taken away from him. Austin’s solution? Grab another chair. He sits down and flips off the referee to get a nice chuckle out of the crowd.

Flair and Austin officially start us off after Austin beat both guys up for awhile, making them look like idiots. Austin hammers away on Flair who takes a break. Flair finally gets something going with a thumb to the eye and some chops. Austin fires back with some more and chops away with WHAT being shouted every time. Flair begs off. It’s remarkable how much Flair deteriorated in the last ten years. He looks pretty decent here and you know what he looks like now.

Show comes in and Austin isn’t sure what to do here. Austin hammers away but gets his head kicked off with ease. Flair comes back in and they chop away at each other but it’s back to Show who drills him with a powerslam for two. Flair hammers away in the corner and then goes after the knee. Off to Show again who hammers away on the knee some more.

That lasts a few seconds as Flair comes back in and gets rolled up by Austin for two. Flair grabs the Figure Four and curses away a lot. Austin gets up from that with relative ease and they chop it out. Really bad spinebuster sets up another figure four by Austin which again is broken up by Show. Show comes in and runs into some boots and a Thesz Press. Flair gets one as well. X-Pac, another NWO member comes in and Show is stunned. That gets Austin nowhere but Pac kicks Show down and Stunners for all heels allow Austin to pin Flair to end it.

Rating: B. This was pretty good with Austin being very entertaining as usual. Now can someone explain to me why in the world Austin is on in the first hour of the show in a more or less worthless match? This would never be finished as Austin just left due to getting ticked off from this angle. Rather good match here though with Flair still being good back in the day.

We recap Edge vs. Angle. Angle was going to unveil his new t-shirt and it said You Suck. This is where the You Suck chants started. Somehow Lance Storm got roped into modeling the actual shirt. They had a great match at Backlash so this should be awesome. Angle wanted a rematch to get back at Edge and offered the hair vs. hair stipulation. Edge said groovy and here we are. Yeah I’m not saying groovy again. Doesn’t suit me at all.

Kurt Angle vs. Edge

Edge is more or less the hottest thing in the world at this point so this should be awesome. Angle starts off with grappling stuff but gets sent to the floor. Back in Angle stomps away but gets tied up in the ropes. It’s so weird to see pre-neck injury Edge. He spears Kurt as he’s tied up but Kurt escapes and hits a belly to belly to send Edge to the floor. Angle hammers away as this has been back and forth so far.

DDT gets two for Kurt as we’re in a long Angle is in control segment of the match. Off to a chinlock now as we make Finkle jokes. Lawler accidentally says WWF as Edge is taken down again by the hair in what could be considered irony but it probably shouldn’t be. Angle throws on a front facelock which goes on for awhile. Edge gets an Edge-O-Matic for two. Angle heads to the apron and Edge hits a dropkick to send Kurt’s face into the apron.

Back in Angle tries the run up the corner belly to belly only to have Edge shove him off and get a missile dropkick for a long two. Belly to belly by Kurt puts Edge down as JR says that was finer than frog hair. Where does he get these things? Edge goes up again and this time he gets caught in the suplex for a VERY long two. Edge busts out a superkick of all things and gets a DDT out of the corner for two.

Spear accidentally hits the referee and a suplex puts Edge down. No referee though so Angle grabs a chair. Spear puts Angle down Angle but again no referee. Noticing a theme here? Another spear eats boot and the Angle Slam is countered. ANOTHER spear gets two as the referee is up. Edgecution is reversed and Angle hits a spear of his own and then the Angle Slam for a VERY close two. Ankle lock goes on but Edge kicks him in the head to escape. On it goes again but Edge kicks him off and a small package ends this and signals Kurt’s bald time.

Rating: B. Good match but the spears got annoying. Their match at Backlash was WAY better which is what’s holding this one back. It’s not bad at all and they looked good out there, but at the same time it got a bit repetitive. Edge was getting very awesome very fast at this point and Angle probably had a lot to do with that.

Angle fights back so Edge hits an Edgecution to put him out and take him to the barber’s chair. Angle wakes up and runs.

We go to the hotel that Booker is in with that chick from earlier. She pops up in a black dress and the chick wants the lights off. Various sounds are heard and then Goldust’s voice is heard, saying he wants Booker to leave the NWO and come back to him. Booker gets out of bed and runs off without any clothes on. Goldust pulls off the covers and is in a nightgown. Oh dear.

We recap HHH vs. Jericho as the Cell is lowered. This stems from Mania as Jericho is jealous and beat on HHH for a long time, resulting in this. HHH and Stephanie were getting a divorce so Vince jumped on Jericho’s side for this feud.

Oh I forgot to mention that Michael Cole and Tazz have introduced various matches tonight, including this one.

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

They stare it down and slug it out to start with HHH getting the high knee and a backdrop to take over. This is one of the forgotten Cell matches and I think that’s probably due to Jericho having no chance whatsoever here. Out to the floor with Jericho trying to hammer away and failing at that endeavor. Back in and Jericho gets a forearm to take over. Nothing special at all yet but we’re only two minutes into this.

Jericho’s shoulder hits the post and he hits the floor, so of course the referee threatens to count him out. Inside the Cell that is. Do they even get the concept of this match anymore? Jericho goes into the Cell wall and then does it again. Clothesline puts him down as it’s all HHH here. Back in the ring and a suplex gets two. Why are we covering after suplexes in a Cell match?

Jericho whips HHH into the corner and the Game goes flying over the buckle and down to the floor. Back outside again and HHH is sent into the cage. They seem like they don’t have much of a plan here. HHH reverses and Jericho eats cage for the 3rd time in like a minute and a half. Piledriver onto the steps is blocked into a slingshot by Jericho to send HHH into the cage. This is not very interesting at all.

It’s ladder time as we make this a hardcore match because the HELL IN A CELL isn’t enough. Ladder goes into HHH’s face and HHH is busted. Back in the ring the ladder takes HHH down again. At least we’ve gotten to the violent aspect of the match now. HHH goes out to the floor so Jericho throws the ladder at him. Freaking ow man. It’s not good enough for the all caps one but it looked good.

JR says this is the Supreme Court of Gut Checks. Jericho sends HHH into the Cell when he starts getting too feisty. HHH gets a chair to hit the ladder back into the face of Jericho as he charges at HHH with it. Bulldog by Jericho which is a good foot from the ladder but allegedly HHH hit it head first. Whatever. The referee cusses Jericho out for going outside again. That’s rather funny to me for some reason.

Jericho brings the stairs in and HHH grabs a drop toehold to send Jericho face first into them. After a facebuster HHH THROWS THE STEPS at Jericho to send him to the floor. Ok, now it’s ok. FREAKING OW MAN!!! HHH sends Jericho into the ropes but Tim White is there and gets sent into the cage HARD, legitimately injuring him and more or less ending his active career as a referee.

As White is hurt, JR mentions that White has the key. I get that they’re advancing the match with that, but here’s the thing: this match is about staying in the Cell. Why in the world would who has the key make a difference here? They’re supposed to stay in, so why would you mention that? Jericho throws White into the cage arm first which might have been the shoulder injury that put him out. He’s busted too. When do you see a referee bleeding?

Spinebuster takes HHH down as he comes back in but Jericho has the key. It’s not like it matters though as guys come out to open the Cell and check on White. Jericho charges at HHH in the corner with a chair but gets it kicked back into his own face. Sledgehammer shot takes Jericho down but there’s no referee as everyone is checking on White. Jericho crawls out of the Cell and slams the door on the pursuing HHH.

They’re out of the cage now and Jericho takes over. Naturally we hit the Spanish Announce Table and Jericho tries a Pedigree which of course is reversed into a DDT by HHH to destroy the table and leave Jericho laying. We get that Supreme Court metaphor again which is still stupid. HHH finds the barbed wire 2×4 as this is desperately trying to be epic and it’s not there.

Jericho runs up to the top of the Cell rather than like, around the corner of it or something. HHH goes up top with the 2×4 which Jericho gets away and cracks HHH in the back with it. They fight up top for awhile and Jericho grabs the Walls of Jericho up there. Apparently you can tap out up there now. Mike Chioda comes up to the top to check for a submission. They’re making the rules up as they go apparently.

A low blow by HHH keeps himself from getting caught by another shot from the 2×4. I guess Jericho saw a pretty bunny instead of keeping the hold on. Jerry says HHH and Jericho must have seen that match where Foley flew through the Cell off a backdrop. No King REALLY??? You think HHH might have seen it??? YOU THINK SO??? A backdrop saves Jericho from the Pedigree which is what brought that on if you were wondering. Anyway a 2×4 shot to the head and the Pedigree up top on the Cell ends it.

Rating: B. Well they tried but at the same time this was full of issues the entire time. First and foremost, there was never any doubt at all that it would be HHH winning. Second, the rules changing hurt it a lot. Third, Tim White needs to shut up with the telling them to stay in the ring. It’s a war, not under Marquis of Queensbury rules. Either way, this was good but it’s NOTHING compared to the other Cell matches that came before it for the most part.

Angle pretends to be a woman to hide from Edge who doesn’t fall from it. I give up.

We get a messed up WWE Get the F Out ad complete with the Sexual Chocolate music.

Maven and Torrie are on a date and Torrie makes various innuendo.

Tag Titles: Rikishi/??? vs. Billy/Chuck

The partner for Rikishi will be announced in a bit. To the shock of no one, the partner is Billy and Chuck’s manager/stylist Rico. Billy vs. Rikishi to start us off here. DDT does nothing of course and Rikishi takes over. This is when there was only one set of titles at the time. Chuck comes in and hammers away which gets him nowhere for the most part. Suplex gets two.

The idea here is that Rico will lay down for his buddies so they can keep the titles so Rikishi is more or less in a handicap match. Belly to belly by Rikishi gets two. Billy comes in and gets beaten up by Rikishi too. Rico is just chilling on the apron at the moment. Dropkick by Chuck puts Rikishi down. Rico tries to help Chuck and accidentally drops Chuck, giving him and Rikishi the titles.

Rating: D. Was there any point to this other than to give the crowd a breather? No? I didn’t think so. Moving on here as there’s nothing to say here. The title reign meant nothing if you didn’t guess.

Rikishi dances a bit post match.

WWE Confidential is coming. The first episode was an interview with Shawn about the Screwjob. This was AWESOME at first but then would turn into exactly what you would expect.

Edge is still looking for Angle but Angle jumps him and it’s time for Edge to get his hair cut. Angle throws Edge onto the barber platform but Edge fights him off. Edge grabs a sleeper and Angle is done, resulting in the haircut. The comedy in the next few weeks was pretty good actually. Edge tries to get a You’re Bald chant going and it just fails.

We recap Hogan vs. Taker. At Backlash Taker beat Austin to become #1 contender in the match mentioned earlier with Flair screwing Austin by mistake. Taker interfered in HHH vs. Hogan, costing HHH the title and getting beaten up by Hogan. Hogan destroyed the motorcycle so Taker tied Hogan to the bike and dragged him around the arena which looked fun. This gets the music video treatment.

WWE Undisputed Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Taker has Hogan’s weight belt and Hogan again comes out to Voodoo Child. It’s supposed to be Hollywood Hogan but he’s in red and yellow. Hogan charges and gets whipped by the belt. This is before the bell. Hogan hammers away and gets the belt to whip Taker a bit. The belt (the weightlifting one, not the title) is thrown out and we finally get a bell. A backdrop sends Taker to the floor and Hogan rips off his shirt.

Taker goes knee first into the steps as there are some overly happy fans out there for this. The fans are totally behind Hogan here to put it mildly. Old School is blocked and the old balls are taken to school. Superplex by Hogan gets two which actually looked a bit decent. Taker ducks a clothesline and goes after the knee. Well it’s good to see him attacking something that Hogan has had replacement surgery on (I think).

The knee is wrapped around the post as this isn’t much of a match as far as excitement but it’s been ok. Taker lays on the leg of Hogan so Hogan drops a bunch of legs over Taker’s face. Wouldn’t that be very similar to the leg drop? Hogan was on the mat when he did that if it wasn’t clear. Big boot out of nowhere sets up the legdrop but Taker rolls away and throws on a half crab. Yeah Hogan tapping wouldn’t happen….until next month actually when Angle made it happen.

Taker gets up and tries a chokeslam. The key word being try as Hogan more or less dead weights him and doesn’t even jump, making it more or less a choke takedown. Hogan Hulks Up after the weakest finisher of all time. There’s the boot and there’s the leg and there’s the two. DDT gets two for Taker and here’s Vince. He distracts the referee and another leg drop gets no count. Leg drop to Vince but Taker gets a chair shot to the back of the head and a chokeslam to end this. Taker becomes I think the only person ever to win two world titles off of Hogan.

Rating: D. This was what it was. They kept it relatively short at about 11 minutes which is probably best for all involved. Hogan wasn’t really around the world title again which is probably best for all involved. Taker would drop it to Rock who would drop it to Lesnar at Summerslam but that’s a different story. Weak match, but seriously what were you expecting here?

Taker pops Hogan again with the chair for the motorcycle.

Overall Rating: D+. Well there’s some ok stuff here but nothing is exceptional. It’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen but this was a bad time for the company as they were letting the same old guy syndrome that killed WCW happen here. Weak show overall and not worth seeing, which is saying a lot with Hell in a Cell on there. The main problem is that the decent matches have been done elsewhere, which is what kills this.

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