Monday Night Raw – September 1, 2008: Shawn Vs. Jericho Is Still Awesome

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

I downloaded this show thinking that it was the 800th episode and that WWE couldn’t count, but I found out that they had a big 800th episode celebration later on. I’ve done that one already, or at least I will by the time you read this. That being said, I already have this show downloaded so I might as well throw it in as a bonus. Let’s get to it.

We open with an in memory graphic for Killer Kowalski. Always good to see.

This was taped on Sunday since Monday was Labor Day.

Here’s Orton to open the show and he’s apparently got a bad left arm. This is his return from an injury and his arm is still in a sling. Orton talks about how a brand is measured by its champions. When he was world champion, Raw dominated. Let’s look at the Divas Champion, Beth Phoenix. She’s running around like a lovesick puppy. And who is she in love with? Santino? Orton could beat him even while hurt. Moving onto the tag champions, how can Orton and DiBiase be called Priceless? It’s more like worthless.

However, that’s not the real problem here on Raw. Instead, Punk is the one running around disgracing the World Title. Four years ago, Punk was nothing in a nothing organization. Now he climbed a ladder and got a lucky win to become champion. Orton would love to take the title back right now but he’s not medically cleared. One day soon though, Orton will come back and take the title.

Cue Punk who looks WAY younger here. Punk talks about how he didn’t have his daddy and granddaddy getting him his spot. He’s world champion and he doesn’t drink, smoke etc. Know what else he doesn’t do? He doesn’t go out on his motorcycle at 3am and reinjure his shoulder for three more months. NICE. Punk calls Orton a joke and Randy goes to leave, so Punk says he’ll keep the title until Orton is ready to come back and lose to him.

Orton leaves and here’s JBL who is in the Scramble on Sunday. He says that in three days, the clock strikes midnight on Cinderella. The odds will catch up with Punk and the fans will get a real champion in JBL. JBL says he can clothesline anyone and pin them. Cue Kane who says he’s been home and hasn’t seen JBL’s clothesline there. He did however see Mysterio there, which means Rey is out of the Scramble match. Now cue Batista who spears everyone and stands tall.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

Haas is dressed as Cena in another imitation. Cena is out after having neck surgery so the fans popped big for the music. Kofi speeds things up to start but Haas knocks him down. He sets for the Shuffle but Kofi kicks him in the head followed by some dropkicks. Things speed up again and there’s the Boom Drop. Charlie gets in a right hand and tries the FU but Kofi escapes and Trouble in Paradise ends this quick.

Priceless yells at Orton so Orton slaps them and says take some action.

Teddy and Tiffany go to see Adamle because they run ECW. There’s going to be a battle royal for the ECW Scramble guys as well as one with the Raw guys. Adamle thinks this could become a tradition on Labor Day, like a Jerry Lewis telethon without the sick kids. Kane comes in and says Rey isn’t coming back like Adamle says. Adamle says he was hoping to make Rey feel good and show up either tonight or at Unforgiven.

Battle Royal

Matt Hardy, Finlay, Mark Henry, Chavo Guerrero, The Miz

Henry is champion coming in. I don’t think the winner gets anything here. Everyone goes after Henry to start but he throws them all away with ease. Matt is the only one that has any luck against him as he and Miz manage a double DDT. Finlay slams Chavo onto Henry, which is kind of stupid as it keeps Henry on the mat. Miz puts Finlay onto the apron but walks into a side effect.

Finlay comes back in for a double clothesline on Matt to put them both down. Henry throws out Chavo and Miz at the same time and then splashes Finlay in the corner. Matt goes after Henry as does Finlay but they can’t throw him out due to reasons of fat. Finlay is easily thrown out by Mark and after a brief flurry from Matt he’s tossed too to give Henry the pretty easy win.

Rating: D-. So let me get this straight: Henry, the champion and favorite coming into the match on Sunday just threw out all four of his opponents in about three and a half minutes with complete ease. How exactly is that supposed to make me want to see the match on Sunday again? Why are battle royals so hard to get right? They really should be easier than this to book.

Jericho looks at the contract for his unsanctioned match on Sunday with Shawn.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Noble wants to date Layla so she’s here too. I don’t remember that pairing very well at all but this brings it back a bit. Granted it’s not exactly the biggest angle of all time. Regal annoyed Layla when she was dancing and Noble saved her so there’s your background. Regal is in his one piece swimsuit attire and he pounds Noble down with ease. A full nelson is easily countered and they trade some rollups for two. Regal punches him in the face to put him down as the beating continues. Out of nowhere, Noble grabs a small package for the quick pin. This was like a minute long.

Jillian Hall sings a bit before the next match.

Jillian Hall/Katie Lea Burchill/Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly

The Divas were much hotter in 2008. Beth is Women’s Champion and says she’s a great champion, which is a message to Orton. She says no one can challenge her which draws out Candice to be the mystery partner or something. Kelly vs. Katie to start with Kelly proving why she should stick to looking good, which she is in a bikini and chaps.

Off to Mickie and Jillian with Mickie getting caught in the heel corner. Beth comes in for a slingshot suplex for two. A neckbreaker lets Mickie tag in Candice, who just wasn’t that good. She cleans house and goes up in the heel corner for a cross body. Beth rolls through but Candice rolls into an ugly small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Candice brought this WAY down. She was botching everything she tried and really messed up the match. They tried really hard to make her into the big deal of the division and it never quite worked. On another note, the Divas looked WAY better back then and could work better matches too. Such a shame.

Recap of Jericho vs. Shawn which was about Shawn having a bad eye and having to retire. Jericho blames Shawn for it and in a fight between them, Jericho punched Shawn’s wife. Shawn can’t quit after that so there’s an unsanctioned match this Sunday. This is a long
video but it’s good.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Santino debuts the Honk-A-Meter before the match. I saw this match at a house show earlier in the summer. Brown starts off fast getting two off a clothesline. A Shining Wizard (actually called that) sets up the Low Down but Santino moves and gets the very fast pin.

We get a classic moment from September of 1997 and the first Raw in MSG. It was the night Austin first Stunned Vince.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

Cryme Tyme has the tag title belts which they stole. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start and here’s Priceless to beat down the thieves and to take back their titles. No match.

After a break Priceless shows Orton the belts but don’t say a word.

Smackdown Your Vote, the Republican edition. I’m a political geek so this is awesome.

Batista is asked what his game plan is for tonight. It’s to destroy everyone.

We run down the card for Sunday.

Battle Royal

Kane, Batista, CM Punk, John Bradshaw Layfield

Rey isn’t here but he’d be in the match on Sunday. Orton is at ringside when we come back from a break. Kane comes out last instead of Punk for some reason. Batista knocks everyone down to start and hits the worst spear I’ve seen in a very long time on JBL. Batista is a monster but there was zero impact there at all. Kane breaks up the Bomb on Punk with a big boot and Punk clotheslines Batista out.

A backdrop puts JBL out and it’s down to two. Punk tries whatever he can against Kane but the big boot and side slam take him down. Punk hits three knees in the corner but the bulldog is countered. He tries the GTS but Kane elbows out of it. Punk tries to springboard into the clothesline but Kane catches him by the throat and shoves Punk out for the win.

Rating: C. See how easy it is to give us a little drama going into Sunday? All you have to do is give someone other than the champion a win and it makes the fans think there’s some doubt as to who wins. The good part of a battle royal is that it makes the winner look good but the loser doesn’t lose anything because it’s just a battle royal.

Post match Punk and Orton stare at each other and Punk slaps him. Also Rey returns, completely defeating the purpose of not being in the battle royal, to beat down Kane and send him into the post and hit a 619 around the post.

Time for the contract signing. Jerry is the moderator and explains that there are no rules and WWE is absolved from any liabilities in the match. Both of them sign and Jerry thanks them but Jericho cuts them off. He wants to know why we have all the security. Shawn says it’s not his idea because if it were up to him it would be just the two of them. Jericho and Shawn agree that the security isn’t needed here so it’s just the two of them.

Jericho says he followed the advice Shawn gave him at Summerslam, “you know, before I hit your wife in the face.” He told them that he’d never be an egomaniac like Summerslam. Then he said not to watch Summerslam because he doesn’t want them to see what he’s capable of doing. Shawn says his family won’t be watching either. Someday he’ll tell them about it all though. About the day that his father almost walked away but couldn’t turn the other cheek because sometimes you have to spit in the eye of evil.

Shawn talks about how he’ll never forgive him for what he did, but he hopes on day God forgives Shawn for what he’ll do to Jericho on Sunday. They both get up but Lance Cade comes in to save Jericho which goes as well as you would expect for him. Really strong closing segment.

Overall Rating: B-. This was an odd show but it set up an odd PPV. The problem is that there were 15 people tied up in three matches so you could only do so much on TV before the PPV. That being said, the build was mostly good and the Shawn/Jericho stuff was awesome. At the end of the day when you have great promos and great matches, the feud is going to be great by default, and it was, giving us the feud of the year. Good show.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – #14: It’s Austin’s World And We’re Just Living In It

Wrestlemania 14
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: Fleetcenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Chris Warren

We have arrived in the Attitude Era full blast now. As of last year’s Wrestlemania, it was about as obvious as possible that Austin was going to be the guy that the company put itself on for the foreseeable future. Bret was gone due to Montreal and, we didn’t know it at the time, but Shawn was on his way out. This show was based completely around storyline with wrestling thrown in on the side.

The big deal at this show was Mike Tyson. Floyd Mayweather at last year’s show was nothing but a cheap imitation of this. Tyson being on the show was absolutely mind blowing at the time as he was one of the biggest names in the world. We all knew Austin would get the belt, but with Tyson there we wanted to see how he did it. The other feud was a mind blowing one as well with Kane vs. the Undertaker.

That feud is about as epic as you can get so I’ll go into the explanation for that when it’s time. This was the first show that was completely in the new era and it’s clear that the company was going in a new direction. You can see that in the very first match of the show. Before that though, we get an excellent video talking about how the new generation is killing off the tradition of Wrestlemania, but it questions if they really are doing so. Check it out if you get the chance. Where was I? Oh yes, let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how there’s a new era in the company. This era is full of brash young men that are fighting for the same title that Hogan and Sammartino had. Tonight instead of fighting history, they will become it. Cool opening video.

With no pyro or anything, it’s time for the first match.
Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission, Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Henry/Brown), Nation of Domination (Farrooq/Kama), Quebecers, New Midnight Express (Bart Gunn and Bob Holly), Rock N Roll Express (original), Headbangers, Too Much (Too Cool), Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwins, Legion of Doom 2000
This is for a title shot the following month at Unforgiven. The LOD is returning here, managed by the epitome of sex appeal, Sunny. If you ask most people here, Sunny was one of their first crushes. Just an absolute goddess. Anyway, this is a pretty big mess of a match. The rules are that if one man is eliminated, so is his partner. The RVD sign in the crowd amuses me. The crowd is going nuts for LOD, who were always ridiculously over.

We only see the intros of Farrooq/Kama and the LOD, more or less saying who the winners are automatically. Why there’s a remix of their song I have no idea. Anyway, Animal is in shorts now and Sunny is in very little. LOUD LOD chant starts up. Everyone starts on the floor so it’s a big brawl to start. Savio goes out. There isn’t much to say here as everything is a big mess with 30 people in the ring to start.

Kurrgan comes out and eliminates the Truth Commission. Barry Windham comes out to get rid of Chainz and Bradshaw. Thankfully that clears up a bit of space here. D’lo and Henry are out. The Quebecers are out. This is going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. The original Express is out. This is annoying beyond belief.

Castillo and Estrada are out. Headbangers are out. Henry is still in there even though his partner is out. I have no idea who is left. Henry is gone finally. Too Much is gone and Lawler is mad. Uh the Godwins, the DOA, the LOD, New Midnights and that’s it. We slow WAY down and this is just boring.

The DOA is finally out. We went from like two eliminations a minute to one in three minutes. Ok the DOA is still in. Now the Godwins are out as is DOA. The Godwins get their buckets to drill LOD, making it harder for the new Midnights to pick them up and toss them as the LOD are now dead weight. Animal goes under the ropes but Hawk hangs on. I think you know the ending here. The LOD clean house and almost stereo eliminations give the old guys the win.

Rating: D-. This was awful. The ending was known far before the match ended, the eliminations were awful as they went far too fast, and there were WAY too many people in the ring at once with 30 being in there at the beginning. This team went nowhere for the most part but anytime Sunny looks like that you can’t call it a failure at all.
Light Heavyweight Championship: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

This is the epitome of filler. No one ever knew what to do with these guys so it would be Taka vs. random opponent of the month. This whole title was just a waste and I don’t think anyone missed it when it was exiled to Metal. It was clearly a response to the Crusierweights, but the problem was simple: most of the good cruiserweights were taken already.

Aside from Taka, the WWF guys had no personality, no substance to them at all, and were just dull. There was absolutely no structure to the division whatsoever. See what I’m doing here? I’m typing this out so I don’t have to be bored to death by this match. Dang it I have to watch it I guess. There was zero transition here at all either as we just start the match. No entrance for Taka either.

They slap hands to start and here we go. This is very much like the Moolah Women’s Title defenses back in the 70s and early 80s. Asai moonsault by Aguila who is only 19. We head to the floor for the second time tonight as Taka hits a huge plancha to take down Aguila.

We go into the ring and the fans go into their seats. No one cares about these guys and it’s pretty clear. There’s a reason why this division bombed and I’ve gone into it already. We go to the floor for the third time in less than three minutes. Taka counters for a bit but gets caught by a top rope armdrag.

Aguila does some great flips and we’re on the floor one more time. Nice corkscrew plancha by Aguila takes Taka down as we’re doing high spot, rest, high spot, rest, lather rinse repeat. Moonsault by Aguila gets two. Middle rope splash gets knees for Taka and the champion is in trouble. Michinoku Driver and a moonsault miss but Taka gets a counter with a dropkick and the second attempt at the Driver ends this.

Rating: D+. The match was fine but at the same time, this was rather pointless. It’s the definition of filler as there was no reason to care about any character. Only Taka got any kind of extended camera time and when the challengers are all gone a week later, why in the world should I get interested? The division never worked and those are some reasons why.

We see some woman that had something to do with Bill Clinton interviewing the Rock. This is completely hilarious as Rock is the most egomaniacal person of all time, saying that all the major issues like homelessness aren’t important as long as his lawn is clean. He’s the judge and jury and is always a hung jury, if you smell what he’s cooking. If my memory is right, that’s the debut of that line. He makes sex jokes about interns and is absolutely hilarious.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

This feud is a residual effect from Montreal. The time of HHH as leader of DX was on the horizon as was his face turn. That would lead to one of the best feuds of the late 90s between him and the Rock, culminating in an absolute war in the ladder match at Summerslam. Chris Warren and the DX Band play HHH to the ring. He’s champion here and Chyna will be handcuffed to Sgt. Slaughter, the commissioner, during the match.

We get a quick video of Owen’s bad ankle being destroyed by Chyna and losing the title to HHH as a result. Owen never got his big match with Shawn and was more or less buried and fed to HHH who moved on to bigger stuff. Owen was given the European Title after beating Goldust to keep him appeased but the writing was totally on the wall at that point.

Setting up the handcuffs takes FOREVER. Owen comes out and the fight is on in a hurry. Bret is actually mentioned here which is odd to hear indeed. Hurricanrana gets two. Owen was insane in the ring at times for someone his size. HHHHH gets in a shot to the knee and we hit the floor. Chyna tries to interfere but gets stopped cold by Slaughter.

Owen takes over again and we go back to the ring. Sharpshooter almost goes on but HHH rakes the eyes. Hart lowers his head and gets a facebuster because of it. Well if you do it that obviously you deserve to get a knee to the face. Crotch chop to Owen. Earl Hebner isn’t here tonight and is in intensive care for some reason. He’s watching Mania though, probably thinking of how to screw over Owen for a change.

Suplex by HHH gets no cover. Jerry screams at HHH to go for the ankle but it’s a Flair knee drop instead. DDT gets two. HHH finally goes after the ankle and the big beaked Canadian is screaming in pain. Owen’s nose is busted. More ankle work but Owen gets some shots in to take over a bit. He ducks a boot and slides HHH’s balls into the post. Get Stephanie stat!

Missile dropkick gets two as the ankle is ok enough for that I guess. Quick belly to belly gets two. Enziguri puts HHH down but it reinjures the ankle and down goes Owen. The delay allows HHH to kick out before the three. Rana is blocked into a powerbomb for two for HHH. Chyna keeps trying to interfere as Owen gets a cross body for two.

Pedigree is blocked into another Sharpshooter attempt but Owen manages to fall on the little Pedigrees again for two. Owen lowers his head again and almost gets caught in the Pedigree again. Instead it’s reversed into the Sharpshooter but Chyna is able to pull HHH to the ropes even with Sarge out there. That’s rather impressive. Chyna gets some white powder from somewhere (read as Waltman) and throws it in Slaughter’s eyes. A low blow to Owen lets HHH hit the Pedigree to end it.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid match but they needed a few more minutes. Also the cheating at the end made the Slaughter aspect completely pointless. It’s good but there’s just not enough there to warrant a higher grade. I liked it though as Owen and HHH were both good in the ring with HHH being a shell of what he would become.

Chyna beats up Slaughter post match to a big pop just because she can.

Apparently we have some technical difficulties as Vince should be checked for a heart attack. I didn’t notice anything.

We recap Sable vs. Mero with him being starved for attention while Sable became a star. He got Goldust and Luna to help him in some weird way. This was one of the weirder angles in the early Attitude Era which is saying a lot. Luna wanted to make Sable ugly and Mero defended her, bringing Goldie into it. This takes like three minutes to explain.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna and Goldust

Oh he’s the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust here. I lay corrected. Mero is a boxer character here which mirrors his real life background. Goldie is of course dressed in a ridiculous outfit. Sable and Luna want to start us off. Sable is about as clueless as you could ask for. Remember that as I’ll get back to it later. Actually the guys start us off as the genders have to match here.

Off to the women as Sable gets a loud pop. Luna runs and the chase is on. Luna gets back in the ring and tags out so it’s back to the men. Mero backdrops Goldust and it’s off to Sable and Luna. Luna of course hides again like the heel she is so it’s back to Mero and Goldie again. You may notice Sable is doing NOTHING here.

Goldust gets a clothesline out of the corner to put Mero down and take over for a bit. Both guys go for cross bodies and it’s Goldust taking over again. The fans want Sable and I can’t say I blame them. She does look good here. Sable finally comes in to fight Luna and hammers away. She’s incredibly sloppy and fires “martial arts” kicks. Goldie gets drilled also and Luna is reeling.

She manages to get the tag off to Goldie so Sable hits him too. Mero beats on Goldust on the floor but can’t get a slingshot splash to come back in. Sable distracts the referee and Mero gets a low blow. TKO is countered into a DDT for two. Curtain call is reversed and Mero gets a running knee lift and a moonsault press for two. Top rope rana gets two and a rollup from heel miscommunication does the same.

TKO isn’t as crisp as it should be but Luna saves. Sable tags herself in and tries to pin Goldust. Luna misses a splash and Sable debuts her powerbomb to get two. See, for a big move like that it should END THE MATCH. Instead she ends it a few seconds later with a bad TKO.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here considering the star was Sable and Mero vs. Goldust was the core of this. While the did the lifting here, that still gives us the logical conclusion. Of course Sable gets the glory here by being told she’s such a great wrestler. This led to a somewhat sad story actually. After this match, Luna, a long since established veteran, claims that Sable refused to learn how to take bumps and would only get punched or slapped while Luna did all the work.

After the match, Sable was congratulated by everyone while Luna was left completely alone, with the exception of one person telling her she did well: Owen Hart. If you watch the match, you can see that Sable is completely clueless and is only able to do the two big moves that she knew. Other than that it’s all Luna. Also, Luna had always wanted to be the Women’s Champion, yet never got it because of Sable. A very sad story to me.

Jeff Jarrett and that woman from the Rock interview are presented to the crowd in a total waste of time. Oh and Tennessee Lee, the promoter of Jeff Jarrett, introduces them. He’s more famous as Colonel Robert Parker in WCW. Thank goodness the Nation of Domination’s music plays to hurry this along.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

This was an interesting little feud here. Shamrock was built up to be this fighting machine that had Rock’s number. Recently, Rock had gotten under Farooq’s, the leader of the Nation, skin, claiming that he, the Rock, was the reason for the group’s success. Four members of the Nation including the Rock are at ringside to face Shamrock. God that woman’s voice is annoying. Flowers is doing the announcing if you didn’t get that.

Shamrock really was sweet at what he did. He knew how to fight and he made sure you knew it. While never a great wrestler, he was completely legit and it made him that much more impressive sounding. Rock’s heritage is explained for the ten thousandth time, without it once being explained why his last name was Maivia and his father’s last name was Johnson.

It’s so weird because I’m watching Raw leading up to this as well as this show today so it’s kind of intriguing to see every little bit that set this up. Shamrock had been owning Rock recently and had let Rock get a clean chairshot which would get them fired today. Also Rock hit Farrooq with a chair for no apparent reason.

Shamrock sprints to the ring and it’s on. Rock ducks a lot of punches but gets kicked in the head to take him down. If Rock gets disqualified he loses the title. After some brawling on the floor it’s back in the ring and all Shamrock. The Nation interferes a bit to give Rock control as he sends Shamrock into the steps.

People’s Elbow isn’t quite of the people yet but it’s still good for two. Shamrock is up quickly, likely because it’s just an elbow. Rock is sent to the floor one more time and Shamrock grabs a chair. He shoves the referee down and Rock gets a BIG chair shot to the head for two. That was absolutely sick and is a great example of why those can be a bad thing. Shamrock does his usual stuff, grabs the ankle lock (yes, KEN SHAMROCK brought it to American pro wrestling, not Kurt Angle) for the quick tap to win the title!

Rating: C+. This was very quick but it did the job it was supposed to. Shamrock looked like an animal here and he massacred Rock with relative ease. When it was one on one Rock was completely overmatched and had to cheat to get anything going. The quick tap out was nice also.

Post match the Nation attacks and Shamrock fights them all off. Shamrock grabs the ankle lock again as Farrooq comes down. He looks at Rock and just walks away, more or less turning face. Shamrock grabs the hold again as referees and officials come down. They get their beatings too and Rock is taken out on a stretcher.

Shamrock’s eyes are FREAKY. Due to the beatings, the decision is reversed and Rock keeps the title. He goes after Rock and beats on him even more. Rock wouldn’t lose the title until August at Summerslam and Shamrock wouldn’t get it until October.

The WWF guys say they’re real athletes, which is true.

There’s a gate record tonight as there has never been a more lucrative event in this city. I find that hard to believe with Patriot games or Red Sox games.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Ago Outlaws

The backstory here is simple. Jack was feuding with the Outlaws and got tired of getting beaten up, so he got his friend Charlie, a.k.a. Terry Funk to help him. Eventually the Outlaws threw them in a dumpster and threw them off the stage. This match for the tag titles is the result of that act. It’s dumpster match which means you have to put both guys in the dumpster.

Road Dogg is getting the entrance there but doesn’t quite have it yet since they’re not in DX yet. There’s a dumpster at ringside. This is far more of a brawl than a match as you would expect. They hit the floor immediately and the beating is on. It’s Cactus vs. Road Dogg and Funk vs. Gunn. Cactus tries a flip at Road Dogg but bounces off the dumpster instead.

The Outlaws are in control early and manage to get Funk into the dumpster. Roadie hits a Russian Leg Sweep to ram Cactus’ head into the dumpster. That was SICK. The Outlaws slam the lids of the dumpster on the back of the heads of their challengers. Cactus is in the dumpster while Funk is abused. Both challengers are in now and Gunn celebrates but Cactus gets up and gets a double Mandible Claw. They couldn’t shut the lid so the match isn’t over.

Funk pops out of the dumpster with a cookie sheet to hammer away some more. Cactus and Funk take turns giving neckbreakers to Road Dogg as this is a total brawl. Cactus Elbow with a cookie sheet to Gunn on the floor. He looks for more toys and finds a ladder. Oh dear. Cactus and Billy climb it for no apparent reason and get launched into the dumpster.

They both get out but Funk is powerbombed into it by Billy. The Outlaws take Cactus to the back and we don’t have a camera there so we see some replays. Ah there’s a shot in the back with Cactus falling into everything. After being thrown into some massive soda bottles, Cactus finds a chair to even the odds. He puts both Outlaws on a forklift which Funk commandeers to put them in a dumpster to win the titles.

Rating: C+. Hard one to grade here as it was a total mess to say the least. That being said, the challengers worked VERY hard out there and it’s not like the Outlaws ever wrestled anyway. The ending would come into play the next night on raw as the Outlaws would get the decision overturned because they were put into the wrong dumpster. Later that night, the company just happened to have a steel cage handy so the titles were on the line in a cage match. DX interfered, giving the titles to the Outlaws, who finally joined DX.

Now we get to the real stuff on this card. This whole show was built around two matches: the WWF Title match, and this one right here. In what might have been the best booked “silly” feud of all time, the Undertaker was set to do battle with his brother Kane. My God this was built up perfectly. Sit back, because this is a long backstory.

After Paul Bearer betrayed Taker at Summerslam 96, Taker was going after him. Midway through the previous year when Taker was WWF Champion, he feuded with Mankind, managed by Bearer. During that feud, Bearer mentioned the name Kane. This drove Taker insane as he kept trying to cover up what this name meant. Finally Bearer revealed that it was Taker’s brother, and that Taker attempted to kill him.

This led to Bearer eventually saying that when Taker’s parents were killed in a fire, the Undertaker was the person that started the fire in an attempt to kill his parents. What wasn’t known was that his brother was in the house with them. Taker says that it was an accident and that he tried to rescue them but firefighters held him back. Bearer would go on to reveal that he was in fact Kane’s father.

This results in one of the worst beatings ever recorded on WWF television, but it ends with Paul saying that it’s the truth and that Kane told him, because Kane was still alive. Apparently Paul rescued him from the fire and cared for him for the last 20 years, which was unknown to Taker.

This was all revealed over a several month long period of time. Finally, in August, Taker was facing Shawn Michaels in the first ever Hell in a Cell match. Shawn gets one of the worst beatings of all time, but as Taker signals for the Tombstone, the lights go out and we hear organ music. An explosion goes off and a 7ft giant walks through the curtain, accompanied by Paul Bearer.

Taker is stunned as this man rips the door to the cage off and tombstones Taker, allowing Shawn to pin him. There was one key to this whole thing that made it work to me: for probably 3 months, you only heard about Kane. Until the night of the Cell match, you never saw him.

You didn’t know what he looked like, you didn’t know how he dressed, you didn’t know how big he was. You knew absolutely nothing at all but what you heard. All you knew was he was the Undertaker’s brother. After all the buildup you got about him, no matter what he looked like when you finally saw him, he was going to be awesome. That my friends, is how you build up a character.

Anyway, Kane of course wants to fight his brother. In the interest of ratings, Taker says no way. Kane begins just destroying people left and right, including two brothers named Matt and Jeff. They never did anything after that I don’t think. Kane would randomly run in and beat people up, all while begging the Undertaker to fight him.

He would come to the ring and beat up his brother, but Taker kept insisting he couldn’t fight his own flesh and blood. Kane punched him one night and raised him hand to do it again, but Taker blocked it. The crowd went nuts over him simply raising him arm. Taker didn’t fight back though and got beaten up again.

Finally, Taker and Shawn were feuding again, leading up to the Rumble. HHH kept interfering, but one night, out of absolutely nowhere, Kane helped his brother. That Sunday at the Rumble, Taker was gang attacked and Kane came out. However, he beat up his brother and shut him in the casket, costing him the match. Kane then locked it shut and set it on fire.

However, after this occurred, it was revealed that the casket was empty, prompting Paul Bearer to be absolutely terrified, knowing that Taker was still alive somewhere. Kane continued to ravage the company, until one night on Raw, the arena was covered by a blue light, and druids brought out a body on a pedestal. A bolt of lightning hit it, and the man on it rose up, revealing himself to be the Undertaker himself.

In a completely over the top yet still amazing promo, the Deadman said he will gain his revenge on his little brother, accepting his challenge for Wrestlemania. The next week on Raw, Kane was in the ring having called out his brother, yet instead Taker appeared on top of the titantron, talking about how Kane would feel his wrath. Taker then threw a lightning bolt at the stage, igniting a coffin that was standing up. Inside was an effigy of Kane, that began burning.

And that finally leads us to this. The video on the PPV took over five minutes so you know this was a long story.
Kane vs. The Undertaker

Before the match, Pete Rose appears, insulting Boston. Kane then comes out and tombstones Pete Rose, starting a three year running joke feud between the two which was rather funny in my eyes. This was kind of funny but went on too long. Rose sounds drunk too. Also, was there a need to make Kane a face for 8 seconds like that? Anyway, JR puts it just right: as Taker is about to appear, JR says, “This ovation will be not of this world.” He couldn’t’ have been more correct.

The fans all have their lighters out, they’re going crazy, Taker has a line of druids all holding up torches which he walks under, the lightning, the thunder, the smoke, and Taker dressed in his demonic attire. It was absolutely amazing looking and finally the pair face off in the middle of the ring. This is still the best entrance of his I’ve ever seen. This match might have the best build up I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Taker’s offense is no sold to start which is going to be something you read a lot in this review. Kane launches him into the corner but Taker keeps moving. Almost all Taker so far. Short clothesline by Kane but Taker pops up. Kane gets him in a Tombstone position but rams him into the buckle instead. You have to remember this is maybe the fifth match Kane had in this gimmick, at least two of which had been squashes. This isn’t something he’s used to yet.

Kane takes over and we slow things WAY down. These two seem incapable of having a good match for some reason. Taker winds up on Kane’s shoulders so Kane shoves him face first into the mat. Well kind of as it didn’t go like it was supposed to but you get the idea.

Out to the floor now as Taker is dropped across the railing. Kane drops the steps on Taker’s back as Bearer has the referee. The steps make a big sound and hit the referee in the leg, yet somehow the referee doesn’t call a DQ. Makes sense right? Taker is apparently trying to get Kane to punch himself out. Chokeslam gets two as Kane pulls his brother up.

We hit the chinlock. Now let’s time this as it goes on for FAR too long overall. Yet again we get the beginning of the Streak wrong, saying it started at Mania 8 instead of 7. Minute and a half on this particular chinlock until Taker breaks it up. A clothesline puts the more successful one down and it’s back to the chinlock. Just a minute this time as Taker lifts Kane up and puts him on the apron.

A big boot finally puts Kane on the floor. Taker dives over the ropes but Kane casually steps to the side and lets Taker crash into the table. Top rope clothesline puts Taker down again for two. You ever notice that everyone manhandles Taker better than the previous guy he fought?

Out of nowhere Taker grabs a Tombstone but Kane reverses into one of his own for a long two count. The crowd is barely alive for this by the way. Taker starts firing punches in and a big shot takes Kane down. Big boot is blocked so Taker has to settle for the Chokeslam. Taker gets the Tombstone but KANE KICKS OUT. This was unheard of as I don’t think that had ever been done.

Kane pops up so Taker has to hit a second Tombstone which AGAIN only gets two. Bearer is clutching his chest as he curses Undertaker. Taker goes up and hits a top rope clothesline to put Kane down one more time. The THIRD Tombstone finally gets the pin as he hooks a leg and Kane kicked out at about 3.1.

Rating: D+. While not great from a technical standpoint, this match’s build up was out of this world. A fine example of the hype carrying a match rather than the in ring work. The streak is beginning to mean something now as it reaches 7-0, although I don’t think that’s mentioned for another three years. The match itself more or less sucked, but the buildup was there and enough to make it passable. Cut about 5 minutes out of this and it goes WAY up.

Kane beats up Taker with a chair post match including a Tombstone on it.

We recap Austin vs. Shawn. Basically there’s not much build up here. Austin won the Rumble and got the title shot. On Raw one night, Vince had Mike Tyson show up as a guest, but Austin got in his face, flipping him off and starting a fight. This is what planted the seeds for the Austin vs. McMahon war that went on for nearly two years. Tyson is named the enforcer referee for the title match, but joins DX in between. It was his involvement with Austin that is credited with putting the WWF over the top of WCW, so in the end this was a great move.
WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

If you didn’t get that, Mike Tyson is a guest referee and allegedly in Michaels’ pocket. Yep Austin is over. Austin and Tyson immediately get in each other’s faces. Tyson is actually the outside referee here which is probably better. He grabs at Austin’s foot just after the bell. As JR says, it don’t get no bigger than this. Austin flips Shawn off as we’re waiting around a bit before we get going.

Shawn scores with some fast punches and then runs like an intelligent lad. Here comes Austin though and we get the Heart Break Tights Lowering. Austin goes for the knee, I guess trying to get rid of Sweet Chin Music. Shawn, with his tights still down, gets backdropped onto DX on the floor.

HHH jumps Austin on the floor but the referee doesn’t disqualify Shawn due to it being too easy of a way out. HHH and Chyna are sent to the back to a huge pop. Austin beats up HHH by the band area because he can. Shawn drills him with a clothesline for hurting his life partner though as this is your standard Attitude Era brawl.

Back in the ring Shawn gets caught coming off the top and here comes Austin again. Flair flip in the corner and Shawn is more or less dead. Atomic drop gets two for the bald one. Austin knocks him off the apron and Shawn’s head smacks into the table. That looked sick. Austin hammers away and the elbow gets two.

We hit the chinlock as it’s clear Shawn is far weaker than he usually would be. Shawn fights back though and it’s time for the ring post. Austin pulls Shawn in and Shawn’s head rams the post instead. Nice and simple counter there. We hit the floor and Austin is sent into the crowd via a backdrop. Shawn pops him in the head with the bell which the referee didn’t see. Tyson did though and is like “I want a new rubber duckie. I’ll name it Albert and I can bite his head off in the tub!”

Back in the ring with Shawn dominating completely. He hammers away on Austin while Tyson cheers Shawn on. Shawn flips off the crowd and limps around the ring. Austin gets a kind of spear and hammers away. Shawn goes flying to the floor again and his back must just be dead. He gets the leg of Austin around the post though to reestablish his dominance.

Shawn works on the knee for a good while as he’s trying to take away the Stunner I guess. That makes sense. According to JR that’s what he’s doing at least. Austin gets knocked into the table by Shawn and Tyson throws him back in. Here’s the Figure Four from Shawn as he channels his inner other old crippled dude.

The hold goes on for a good while but Austin reverses and Shawn lets it go. Austin catapults him into the post for two and it’s time for a sleeper from Shawn. Naturally the referee is bumped and Austin hammers away. Shawn gets the forearm (minus the jump but I can accept that) and nips up.

Top rope elbow looks to kill Austin but there’s no striped shirt wearing referee. Shawn starts to tune up the band as his face looks horrible from the pain in his back. Austin ducks the kick, Shawn blocks the Stunner, Austin catches the kick, Stunner, Tyson slides in and Austin wins his first title! JR: “The Austin Era has begun.” Perfect description. Tyson puts on an Austin shirt and knocks Shawn the heck out to end the show.

Rating: B+. We all pretty much knew who was going to win here, but we watched to see how Tyson would play in and how Austin would do it. Looking back now and knowing how much pain Shawn was in because of his back, this match goes way up in impressiveness for me.

You can tell when Shawn is selling and when he’s in real pain and it’s good to see that despite Shawn being a complete jerk backstage, he would go out and perform despite the pain he was in. I don’t care how big of a jerk he was, that takes guts. This match pretty much comes down to who is going to hit their big move first.

The match itself is much better than I remember it being. That’s not saying much because I, like most people, barely remember it. We all know the ending and the buildup, but that’s about it. Good, underrated match.­

Overall Rating: B+. If there’s ever been a show where the torch was completely passed, you’re looking at it. Austin winning the title finally is as about as important of an event as you can possibly have in company history. It launched the WWF ahead of WCW in the war, although that wouldn’t be official for a few more weeks, and it was also the last time Shawn would wrestle for nearly 5 years.

However, even with the Taker match, the solid work elsewhere and only two bad matches, you really do have an all around solid show. It’s not great, but it’s certainly worth checking out. Skip the Light Heavyweight match and about five minutes of Taker/Kane and you’ll love the rest of it in theory.

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Monday Night Raw – March 12, 2012: Word Life Says Cena Wins Again

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 12, 2012
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Star: James Roday

We’re a step closer to Wrestlemania now so it’s hard to say what to expect. Well actually it isn’t but that sounds better. Tonight we’ll probably get more of Rock vs. Cena, although I’m not sure if Rock is going to be here tonight. Undertaker and HBK both will be though and their confrontation is one of the highlights of the show. Let’s get to it.

Oh and I forgot: tonight Cena raps and we get another Rock concert.

The full theme song and opening sequence starts things out. We haven’t seen that in awhile.

Lawler announces the Rock and Rap concert in the shadow of the Rock N Roll (Express?) Hall of Fame. We’re going to start with Thuganomics so here’s Cena in the Word Life gear, complete with chain and throwback jersey. He starts with a LeBron James joke to get the crowd to love him. If Rock gets all choked up, it’s all in the wrist. I can’t do these lines justice by just writing them out. He mentions the Tooth Fairy chant from last week. This one is short though and ends with him throwing nuts at the camera, like he’ll do at Rock’s face.

Here’s Vickie who I can’t understand. She introduces Dolph. Ok then.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Sheamus’ march through the midcard continues. Ziggler can’t quite pull off the pink but at least he matches Vickie. Sheamus takes him to the mat and then runs him over to start. Back to the mat with an armtrap headlock. Forearms in the ropes take us to the first break. Back with Sheamus clotheslining Dolph down. Sheamus hip tosses him to the outside but Dolph slips under the ring and hits a dropkick to take over.

Still on the floor Sheamus is rammed into the back and both guys are down. OH MAN there’s a bit mark on his back. He manages to get back in at about eight and Dolph stomps away. Off to a chinlock as AJ and Bryan are in a skybox watching. Josh is up there so let’s cut to Bryan talking instead of watching the match. AJ is scared of Bryan after Bryan told her to shut up last week.

Sheamus comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Celtic Cross is countered and a one man flapjack gets two. They botch what could have been a cool ending as Ziggler hooks a crucifix but Sheamus tries to pull him into White Noise but can’t get him up. Fameasser gets two. Brogue Kick finishes clean at 11:53.

Rating: B-. Sheamus dominating the upper midcard is fine but they desperately need something substantial to make us care about the Bryan match. When Bryan hasn’t beaten anyone big on his own in months, there’s no reason to care about the match. Then again no one in charge cares about this match at all so it doesn’t really matter.

The Battle of the General Managers match was announced earlier on WWE.com The GM’s will get to pick their own teams and the winner gets to run both shows.

Santino Marella/Aksana vs. David Otunga/

Santino is captain for Team Teddy at Mania. Oh dear. Ace is on commentary here. Otunga is Ace’s captain. Ace says hold it a minute. There’s not going to be a mixed tag. Instead it’s a handicap match.

Santino Marella vs. David Otunga/Mark Henry

Teddy comes out to an actual pop. Aksana is on the apron even though we were told this was a handicap. It’s a 12 man tag at Mania. Teddy escorts Aksana out as Otunga jumps Santino. Teddy shoves Ace down and we’re missing the match for the second time tonight. Santino avoids Otunga and comes back with his usual stuff but Henry makes a blind tag. He grabs the Cobra and headbutts Santino down. World’s Strongest Slam makes Santino the latest squashed champion at 1:32.

Kofi comes out for the save but is beaten down as well. Truth comes out but is beaten down as well. Ace officially announces Henry as the second man on his team.

Preview for Psych, guest starring Miz.

Piece from Extra with the Bellas and Alicia talking about Mania and Rock vs. Cena.

Eve and her AWESOME rack is in the back when Ryder comes up. He wonders why Eve hasn’t answered his calls this week. Ryder asks if she’s playing him so she says be friends with benefits instead. Beth comes up and says she should have been on Extra. She’s going to see Maria Menunos on Extra. I smell a celebrity match. Ryder leaves and Beth says she could get Ryder wrapped around her finger too if she wanted. Eve says she’d mind and leaves.

Ace is on the phone when Miz (hometown pop) comes in. He wants to know when he’ll be added to Team Ace. Ace was on the phone with a member of the Board of Directors so Ace is mad. James Roday of Psych comes in and Miz says he’s a guest star, which is the star power Team Ace needs. Miz has a match tonight and if he wins, he’s on the team. Roday is guest ring announcer. He says he’ll Fink it up tonight. Oh and Miz is facing CM Punk.

BRODUS IS BACK NEXT!!!!!

Jinder Mahal vs. Brodus Clay

Jinder now has a case for his turban. The girls still look good, this time in white. Jinder jumps Brodus to start and gets a headbutt for his efforts. There’s the suplex and a splash ends this in 26 seconds.

Brodus dances for a bit post match.

Some rapper is here.

It’s Shawn time. He talks about how it’s going to be the end of an era inside the Cell. Shawn is guest referee and HHH wasn’t aware of that when he told HHH that last week. We get a clip of last week where HHH says he’s going to end the Streak for Shawn. How that makes people stop talking about how Shawn couldn’t do it still eludes me. Shawn has been in the back and he hasn’t heard anyone calling him a loser.

However, there’s one person that hasn’t been around lately. He calls out Undertaker and 27 hours later, Taker is in the ring. Shawn accuses Taker of being the one talking about him and that that’s not cool after what they did at Mania. Taker wants to know if it’s eating at Shawn that he couldn’t get it done. He thinks Shawn is just repeating what HHH has been saying. Taker starts talking about Shawn’s insecurities and Shawn cuts him off.

It was Undertaker that was begging for the match so he’s the insecure one. Last year HHH got so close to beating him that Taker needs another match. Taker says he’s prepared to accept the outcome whether it’s a win or a loss, but he’s not prepared to have Shawn cost him everything.

He says Mania is on April 21st and that Shawn will pay if the outcome isn’t pure. Shawn says this is irony, not destiny. The guy whose career Taker ended might end the Streak. He could still be the guy to end the Streak. Taker says he’ll win and that the Streak will continue and he’ll end an era. If Shawn screws him, he’ll end Shawn. Shawn pulls back like he’s going to superkick Taker but doesn’t move. He leaves with a smile. Shawn gets to the stage and HHH meets him. They share a quick look and Shawn leaves. HHH shoots Taker a crotch chop.

CM Punk vs. The Miz

Roday is the ring announcer. If Miz wins he’s on Team Ace. Miz takes over with a quick knee to the ribs and we take a break 40 seconds in. Back with Miz holding Punk in an abdominal stretch. Punk comes back with some kicks but the GTS is countered. Low DDT gets two. The Finale is countered into the Vice and we’re done at 6:10. Since we saw about 2:20 of that, I’m not going to bother rating it but it was mostly a squash.

Jericho pops up on screen and says that Punk is a fraud. He says he’s found out something about Punk. Punk is straightedge because his father is an alcoholic which is why Punk doesn’t drink. It scares Punk which is why he puts on this big front. Punk is going to drink eventually and Jericho is going to drive him to it. Punk almost freaks out like he’s having a relapse but gets serious again.

We get a commercial for David Otunga’s law offices. See, THAT is the kind of character development that the people in today’s company is starving for.

Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Orton takes over to start and sends Jack into the steps as we take a break. Back with Swagger controlling with a top wristlock as Cole says the attendance for at least the third time tonight. Swagger goes after the ankle but misses the Vader Bomb. Jack grabs the ankle but Orton kicks him off and they go up to the corner. A superplex puts Swagger down and Orton comes back with his signature package. RKO ends this clean at 8:30.

Rating: C-. This was fine. Swagger is nothing more than a jobber to the stars and putting the US Title on him was the way they’re trying to keep a victory over him meaning anything. Orton looks strong before the inevitable Kane post match stuff (and hey there it is) which is the right idea.

Post match the Kane pyro goes off and the red light comes on but there’s no Kane.

We recap the Cena rap (with the fourth use of attitudinal by Cole).

HHH, Shawn and Undertaker will be at Raw next week. Cena vs. Henry next week also.

Here’s Rock with a guitar for the Rock Concert. Rock talks about how the people have broken a record. This is the largest sellout crowd the WWE has ever had in Cleveland. He says to chant Cleveland instead of Rock. He wants to know if the people have seen Marky Mark tonight. What’s up with the chain anyway? Also Cena looks like Vanilla Ice crossed with a Teletubbie. And he has pictures. This isn’t funny.

Rock sits down with the guitar and the fans cheer for him. This isn’t about a two minute rap because Cleveland Rocks. Rock gets a spotlight and starts singing what sounds like a parody of Jailhouse Rock. He says Cleveland Rocks a lot and the people cheer. Rock says Cena went to a doctor last week and he’s got a song about it. It ends with Cena wanting a rectal exam. Now he has a story about Cena and Eve. They were making out but Cena has a wife. Ok then.

Now he’s got a story about Cena’s birthday. The doctor wanted to get rid of Cena at birth and Cena had lady parts. THIS ISN’T FUNNY! I know that’s blasphemy but this isn’t funny at all. He keeps singing about how Cleveland Rocks so the fans cheer for him but the stuff he’s saying isn’t funny. He asks if there are any adult male Cena fans and says that they’re virgins in a funny bit. He asks about the ladies. Rock says he loves women and there’s a special woman that he has a song for. He’s going to bring her wine and yeah it’s Cena’s mom.

He has his finale now and it’s for the people. This if for Team Bring It. It’s for the millions you see. It’s We Will Rock You. Rock actually sings the song but throws in some Cena Sucks lines. There are lyrics on the screen for the modified lyrics. Rock totally screws the words up (I mean, we can see them on the screen) and that’s it. No Cena at all. Seriously? This was the lowest Rock has his since he’s been back.

Overall Rating: B. I liked tonight’s show again. The Cena stuff was good, Rock was just dreadful and they plugged a good amount of matches. Plus you get some Brodus time which is never a bad thing. The 12 man tag was finally announced to help flesh out the card a bit. I’m starting to wonder how many more people they’re going to induct into the Hall of Fame (Mil Mascaras was announced on WWE.com earlier today but there was no mention of him tonight) but other than that, everything is getting time. Good Wrestlemania push show.

Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
David Otunga/Mark Henry b. Santino Marella – World’s Strongest Slam
Brodus Clay b. Jinder Mahal – Splash
CM Punk b. The Miz – Anaconda Vice
Randy Orton b. Jack Swagger – RKO

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In Your House #24 – Breakdown: This Should Have Been Where The No Chance Song Came From

In Your House 24: Breakdown
Date: September 27, 1998
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,405
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Summerslam has passed and Austin, much to everyone’s surprise, kept the belt by beating Taker clean. If my memory is right, that was the only time that happened from 1991 to 1998 but I could be wrong on that. Other than that, HHH ended the DX vs. Nation war by beating the Rock for the IC title. The rest of the show is pretty weak as it was kind of meant to be the end of a lot of storylines and now create new ones.

The main idea was that Vince is completely fed up with Austin and wants the title off of him at any cost, so he’s made the main event for tonight of Kane vs. Taker vs. Austin in a triple threat for the title, knowing it would be a handicap match. Also on here we have a triple threat in a cage with mankind, Shamrock and the Rock for the #1 contenders spot. The rest of the card looks like Typical Attitude Era stuff, so let’s get to it.

The intro is all about Vince wanting to get the title off of Stone Cold at any cost, talking about his master plan which includes shots of John Kennedy and various other historic leaders. This is WAY over the top to say the least.

Owen Hart vs. Edge

This is really just a matchup of an upper midcarder and a rookie. I really like this match actually as both guys are solid in the ring. Edge is working a style that is very good for him with a mix of what he does now with technical stuff thrown in. He’s staying move for move with Owen which is no small task to say the least. We get a lot of near falls and since I don’t remember who wins this, it’s a very exciting match.

Edge was getting a cult following at the time and he was still a rookie, which really is an impressive feat. Both go for their finishers and Edge lands a decent DDT. They’re going back and forth here in a great pace that’s really showing Edge off well. Owen of course is as solid as ever but this is pretty even.

Eventually Edge has Owen in trouble but a long blonde haired fan jumps the railing and distracts Edge allowing Owen to roll him up for the win. Dang , that guy that jumped the rail must totally reek of awesomeness and charisma.

Yeah it’s Christian debuting.

Rating: B+. This match was very good and an excellent opener. Two Canadians so it’s almost face vs. face, meaning the crowd is way into it. Edge was showing off here as he proved he can go with anyone. Owen was his usual solid self on the mat and I really didn’t know who was going to win until the end. That’s the sign of a good match in my opinion.

Bad promo for the Superstar Line.

Too Much vs. Scorpio/Al Snow

This comes after Raw when Snow regained his contract by beating Slaughter in a boot camp match. Now in case you don’t remember that, Lawler will mention it 18 times in the next match. After that the Stooges ran down to beat him up but Scorpio made the save. Too much is here because we needed a heel tag team to job to the new faces I guess. This is an ok match but it’s nothing special.

Snow as always is entertaining here as a very underrated worked and character. Scorpio is someone I’ve always enjoyed as well so this should be ok. For some reason they bring a chair in and after the faces distract the referee, both use it for running poetries in motion on Too Much, but Scorpio botches him and lands on his back.

Other than that it’s a pretty up tempo match here with both teams doing a good job at keeping the fans excited. At the end everything just breaks into a huge fight with there being no idea who the legal men were with there being all kinds of covers by all four men. Finish comes off of the Snowplow.

Rating: B. This was another fun match. There was no point to it at all but it was just fun. The characters were fun and wild with everyone all over the place. Snow was easily the star here which is an odd thin since he w treated as nothing but a comedy character for th majority of his career. This was very fun though and while not great, it was entertaining.

Droz vs. Marc Mero

Only thing of note is that Jackie won the Women’s Title on Monday night. We’re not told who the champion was, so I’m assuming it’s nothing of note at all. Droz is considered to be a freak with talk of him eating deer hearts after hunting and sleeping with boa constrictors. Great things to talk about wouldn’t you say?

Once again there’s no real point to this match other than having a face lower mid card guy against a heel lower mid card guy. Nothing at all of note happens here until Jackie hits Droz in the head with a shoe, leading to the Shooting Star Press, here called the Marvelocity.

Rating: D. No point, no good action, no drama, no good grade. There was just nothing here at all and it was clear that no one cared about it. Not much else to say.

Bradshaw vs. Vader

Again, no point to this match that I know of but it’s no holds barred. Oh and it’s falls count anywhere so it’s a hardcore match. Bradshaw has shaved the beard so we now have the traditional look that we’re used to of him. He says Vader is too far to beat him.

This was Vader’s last match with the company on PPV and his last televised match would be in about 3 weeks in the well known and used Edge vs. Vader match. We get some good news though; the Brawl For All is over. Ross says he doesn’t want Vader between him legs. Oh apparently they’re fighting because they failed as a tag team.

Glad I missed those pairings actually. Here comes the weapons as Bradshaw nails him with the bell. Bradshaw’s power moves here are very well done with all kinds of suplexes and slams that put him over really well. I’ll never understand how finishing moves lose their power as Bradshaw gets up from the Vader Bomb, which put HBK down several times, but can’t put a young Bradshaw down here? Then for a weird finish, the clothesline from JBL doesn’t pin Vader, but a neckbreaker does?

Rating: C+. This was fine for what it was. Putting the hardcore thing in there helped a bit as it kept the weaknesses they had from being exposed, but at the time neither really relied on them too much. The destruction of Vader on PPV is finally ended here which is nothing more than a shame. Bradshaw was given a mini push but eventually they got it right with him in the APA.

We see a thing on WWE.com with Jason Sensation doing various impressions of wrestlers. He was a comedian but some of his voices were dead on. His Taker voice is absolutely perfect.

D’Lo Brown vs. Gangrel

Brown lost the European title to X-Pac on Raw apparently. Yeah I don’t care either. Gangrel’s entrance and music is just awesome to put it mildly. As far as his in ring work goes, that’s another story entirely. He had this weird running elbow drop that I never liked as it was just odd looking. At the time everyone was trying to figure out what the deal with Edge and Gangrel was.

They never explained it but soon the Brood would form. You can feel Russo’s hands all over this as you have two over the top gimmicks as well as no real face or heel character but rather two guys that could be either or. Botched hot shot sends D’Lo face first into the top rope which isn’t something you see that often.

There’s really not much going on here as this whole card just feels like filler with this being the worst of that category so far. Henry comes out and attacks Gangrel, leading to the Sky High for the pin. After the match Gangrel drinks from his cup which lets him beat both of them up.

Rating: C-. There’s nothing here, but both guys have fairly cool gimmicks so I’ll say it just passes. That’s the issue with this so show far: everything just feels like pure filler and it’s not working well. Give me something with some meat to it if you want me to care. There’s no build here or anything and I feel like I’m watching a house show.

Recap for the triple threat for the contendership. This match already happened on Raw but Taker and Kane beat them all down. Promos from all three follow. Shamrock is far better than what he used to be, but he’s still pretty bad. Rock’s popularity has arrived as his pop gets bigger and bigger but he’s still far from what his peak would be. Now we get to Mankind. I have never seen a more off the wall promo.

He references Bill Clinton’s scandal with a girl that even he would have turned down in high school as the only thing that comes close to being as pointless as the people’s elbow. WOW. Also, Rock had referenced sugar coated testicles, which Foley thinks should be a new cereal. Mankind the face has arrived.

Rock vs. Shamrock vs. Mankind

Remember this is for the #1 contenders spot and it’s in a cage. Shamrock gets no reaction. He got no reaction in the Attitude Era. Let that sink in for a minute. Mankind’s is solid but Rock’s is just big. This is the older format of triple threats where it’s pretty much a bunch of one on one matches that rotate. I really like the feeling in this match as there’s a good amount of drama and it’s not the watered down variety of today which just absolutely sucks.

These guys beat the living tar out of each other and it’s really working well. They’re fighting hard and the fans are into it. Since we’re in Canada, the heel Rock is getting cheered. All kinds of big spots here as the cage isn’t the star like it is anymore. It’s also the big blue one which is a lot better in my eyes than the one they use now. Anyway, these guys are beating the living tar out of each other with everyone getting dangerously close to winning only to have it snatched away.

Rock lands a double People’s Elbow that has the people going INSANE. Pop of the night so far with ease which is odd as he was the heel coming into this. These guys work each other over very well here with all three being very close again. Both guys are down but Foley dives off the top of the cage with an elbow that crashes. Somehow a chair gets in and Rock just starts killing Shamrock with it.

Foley gets it and both guys are down, but as Foley goes up the cage Rock covers Shamrock for the pin. After it Foley thinks he’s won and raises his hand in victory but then sees Rock and is ticked, ripping out his hair. Rock heads to the back as Shamrock is beating on things with the chair and scaring your favorite Oklahoma representative.

Rating: B+. While I hate the pinfall ending in cage matches, this added a very nice psychology concept to it with Foley trying to be the hero and the heel Rock taking the easier way to get the win. Very subtle yet very key to making the match a bigger success.

You could see that Rock was the biggest star here but it was Foley that was carrying things in there. Vince continues to try to make something out of Shamrock and just epically fails at it. This was a slower paced match but it worked very well as they were all working hard and had the crowd into it as well.

We get a recap of Goldust vs. Venis which was during the time that Rhodes was in the preacher gimmick and Venis made a movie with Terri called the Preacher’s Wife of the two of them sleeping, or I guess not sleeping together.

Val Venis vs. Goldust

This is during the religious period for Dustin who would keep saying HE IS COMING BACK, meaning Goldust. Val brings Terri out who is very scantily clad. Val hits a spinebuster almost immediately but gets powerbombed shortly thereafter. This shouldn’t last that long.

Dustin tries to leave and gets his head taken off for his troubles. Very basic match to start here as Dustin is supposed to be just a man fighting for honor out there while Val is on a hot streak at the moment. Russian leg sweep sets up the grind for Val and then a camel clutch.

Dustin is called a youngster despite being around over 8 years at this point. Take it off chant at Terri. Terri looks at Val dreamily during a long chinlock. Almost all Val here as he goes up for a middle rope suplex but lifts Dustin up and just drops him to the floor in a pinful looking move.

Val goes to the floor and gets consoled by Terri. Bulldog by Dustin gets two which is probably the extent of his control here. Yep the powerslam sets up the Money Shot to end it.

Rating: D. All angle here as this just DRAGGED. It went on for nearly ten minutes here and just didn’t get interesting at all. We get the idea here and didn’t need to have it hammered into us. Nothing special at all and just an extended TV match. The angle was done here I think for all intents and purposes, at least the Dustin aspect.

Recap of DX vs. Jeff Jarrett. Yeah I don’t care either.

DX vs. Jeff Jarrett/Southern Justice

Southern Justice are the Godwinns for those of you that can’t get to sleep at night. This is as bland of a 6 man as you could possibly ask for. It’s a mini feud that no one remembers and fewer cared about. X-Pac gets beaten on, wild brawl, Pac takes a guitar to the head, Fameasser in the ring, match over.

Rating: F. I have no idea why but I hated this match deeply. I think it was just that it was a waste of time. There’s filler that is good and filler that is bad. This was of the latter variety.

Promo and recap which you know the drill of by now. If you can’t tell I really just want this show to end.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Undertaker vs. Kane

Kane can’t pin Taker and vine versa, making this a handicap match. We see a clip of Austin beating up Vince on Heat. If anyone helps Austin he’s stripped of the title. Austin jumps Taker with a chair as he’s on his way to the ring and beats the tar out of him. Austin was a lot of things but above all else he was smart.

Kane vs. Austin in the ring now as Taker is trying to get up. Top rope clothesline misses as Austin just steps aside. Taker comes back with a chair and Austin is in trouble. Total brawl the whole way so far but that’s what it’s supposed to be. Stunner out of nowhere on Kane but Taker saves.

The Big Red Machine is down forever from that as it’s Taker vs. Austin now. Jumping clothesline takes Austin down but Taker gets caught by a Thesz Press. Heel miscommunication occurs so Austin can get back up which lasts like 4 seconds. The Stooges and Slaughter come out to stand on the stage as it’s ALL Brothers of Destruction at this point.

Back near the stage and Austin makes a brief comeback but gets his Piledriver reversed by Taker. Austin charges at Brisco and half kills him but Slaughter kicks him in the head. Taker brings Austin back to the ring like he’s carrying him to the gallows. Where’s Luke when you need him?

And we replay the beginning of the match for no apparent reason. Back in the ring now and Austin is getting destroyed. He goes nuts and gets some shots in but Taker catches him. They’re doing really well here at making it look like Austin has a chance and then snatching it away. He’s never quite defeated though which is a nice touch.

Austin caves Kane’s head in with a chair but Taker saves. Taker covers but Kane breaks it up, giving Austin a glimmer of hope. Taker breaks up a Kane pin and then drills him to a ROAR. Kane and Austin send Taker to the floor and now it’s one on one.

After a brief reconciliation Taker and Kane need more counseling as they fight again. Austin gets to rest a bit here and fix his knee braces. Double clothesline and both guys are down, prompting Austin to sit up in a funny moment. Finally they get together and hit a double chokeslam and a double pin. Fink does the announcement but pauses before he announces the winner.

Vince comes out and takes the belt. They would have a one on one match at the next PPV where no one would win again, setting up the Deadly Game Tournament at Survivor Series where Rock turned heel to become McMahon’s star. Austin kills everyone in sight and gets flipped off by Vince to end the show.

Rating: C-. This is ok but it’s just a bit boring. Austin fighting insane odds is always fun but the good thing here is they didn’t have him overcome them. That would have been too much for anyone and I think they got that. Having this go over 20 minutes was WAY too long though as it took Kane and Taker all of 40 seconds to beat Austin once they got together. Decent and booked mostly right but too long.

It made the buildup for the rest of the feud great as Austin wouldn’t get the title back until Mania 15. Austin had a great run with the belt but taking it off of him for about 5 months made his next win all the greater. Kane and Taker would fight at the next PPV for the title with a certain redneck as the referee.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s an ok show but that’s it. There are certainly some good matches but the show just dies a painful death before the main event. The Venis match and the DX match are just flat out draining. That’s how I would describe this show: draining.

While there are more good matches than bad, those that are bad are very bad and come towards the end of the show which is what matters most because it’s what’s remembered most. It’s an ok show, but it could have been booked much better. Thumb squarely in the middle.

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Monday Night Raw – August 17, 1998: Kai En Tai Main Events

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 17, 1998
Location: Veterans’ Coliseum, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another week here and we’ve now got two more shows counting this one before Summerslam. That means another gimmick needs to be added to one of the matches. After last week there’s another conspiracy going around about Taker and Kane which I’m sure will be pounded into our heads all night. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vince trying to kick open Vince’s door, shouting that he has 15 seconds to get to the ring.

Theme song opens us up.

We open up with Highway to Hell playing and a hearse backs into the arena. Oh I remember this one. Austin is driving the car and there’s a casket in the back. He pops it open and there’s beer in it. That makes me smile. Austin says he has 23 more beers and has no problem holding things up until Vince gets here. Instead he gets Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco. Slaughter comes out too, as the jackass behind curtain #3 according to Austin.

Vince comes out and Austin says hurry up because you’re starting to tick me off. Austin says Vince must be happy about Austin and Taker losing the titles, but it means they’re not tied together anymore. Vince has said that Austin has a foot in the grave. Tonight, that foot is going up inside Vince to give him a preview of Summerslam. Taker goes in the hearse tonight.

Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart vs. Dan Severn

Shamrock gets Owen at the PPV and Severn is kind of in there on the side. Lawler promises a statement from the White House tonight. Severn heads to the floor to start as the others pound on each other. The Nation is thrown out. We get a loud nugget chant as Owen controls with a legdrop. Owen rams shoulders in the corner and Severn hasn’t done a thing yet.

Enziguri puts Shamrock down for no cover. Shamrock comes back with a hurricanrana and a belly to belly for two as Severn breaks it up. That’s it for Severn at the moment as Owen takes over with a suplex on Ken. Ankle lock to Owen but Severn hooks a dragon sleeper on Shamrock. The match is stopped without a tap and Severn wins.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here as Severn was using strategy but that doesn’t mean it’s interesting. He never was cut out for pro wrestling as he didn’t have the charisma to make it work. He was NWA World Champion at this point I believe, which probably explains why you never hear about that title anymore.

He won’t let go of the hold so Blackman comes out to get left laying also. Owen and Severn have joined forces it seems.

Ad for WWF War Zone. Smackdown vs. Raw it’s not.

Brawl For All Semi-Finals: Godfather vs. Bart Gunn

A Bill Clinton impersonator calls in making Monica Lewinsky jokes. Godfather says he’s not even offering the ho’s tonight. Bart dominates and wins by knockout in the third round.

Blackman and Shamrock break stuff in the back.

As we go to a break, we hear Jerry talking to Vince about how he was supposed to get a line in. Nice job guys.

Dan Severn is coaching Owen for his Lion’s Den match. They’ve left for the night.

Brian Christopher vs. Gangrel

This is Gangrel’s Raw debut. He won last night on Heat with an Impaler. Edge is chilling in the crowd watching Gangrel. Brian jumps him to start and hits a middle rope bulldog to take over. Gangrel hits a tiger driver and the Impaler to end this quick.

Shamrock and Blackman say they’ll break Owen and Severn. Did we really need to spend this much time on these four tonight?

DX and the Nation brawls in the back.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Farrooq/Scorpio

Clinton is on the phone again for this. Farrooq and let’s say 8-Ball start things off and Farrooq hits a middle rope clothesline for two. Off to Scorpio and Skull with the stronger guy taking over. DX and the Nation are still fighting in the back. Scorpio comes back with Trouble in Paradise and makes the tag to Farrooq. DX and the Nation brawls into the arena as Scorpio hits the 450. There’s no referee though and it’s Twin Magic resulting in a small package win for DOA.

Rating: D+. The match was a mess but this was about setting up the DX vs. Nation brawl. They have a street fight scheduled for later on but I have a feeling that match isn’t actually going to happen. Scorpio was a guy I always liked but the Disciples were so boring and so generic and you saw them so many times they they didn’t interest anyone.

D-Generation X vs. Nation of Domination

This is a street fight and they actually have their intros. There are only three Nation members because Godfather is still shaken up. This in no way resembles a wrestling match so I’m not really going to call it one. Rock takes over for his team with a cookie sheet. He manages to hit the People’s Elbow on Roadie but Billy saves the pin.

Billy piledrives I think Rock on something metal and here’s Jeff Jarrett of all people to fight X-Pac. Southern Justice comes out and it’s a huge brawl. Jarrett cuts X-Pac’s hair as HHH takes a Rock Bottom. A ladder is brought in and HHH gets destroyed with it even worse. He gets left under the ladder and the Nation leaves.

Rating: C. You can’t really give this a grade so I’ll put it right in the middle. The match was fun for the most part but these wild brawls with people coming out for no apparent reason like Jarrett would get old in a hurry. They’re still better than the NWO endings on Nitro though. The feud would end soon.

Here are Tiger Ali Singh and Babu. Oh it’s Abu now. Ok then. We get a clip of Abu training earlier today. He’s still in the sweaty clothes that he wore earlier so whoever comes in here and licks his unwashed feet gets $500. The guy does it with no reluctance at all and gets paid.

Here are Sable and Jackie for an arm wrestling contest. If you’ve seen one of these, you’ve seen them all. Jackie shoves the table over and hurts Sable’s ribs. She takes a trophy that Sable brought with her and knocks Sable out until the Oddities make the save.

Val says he’ll run the Kai En Tai gauntlet to get five minutes with Yamaguchi-San.

Droz’s World is about his tattoos.

Brawl For All Semi-Finals: Darren Drozdov vs. Bradshaw

Bradshaw wins a decision to face Gunn next week.

Video on Al Snow and we see him at a bar. Head is drunk apparently so Snow takes the keys.

Sable is coming back out here.

Dustin says don’t be bad.

Here’s Sable who wants to fight Jackie right now. Jackie says no but we’ll have a mixed tag. Luna and the Oddities jump Jackie.

Val Venis vs. Kai En Tai

This is a gauntlet match. If Val can beat all four in a row, he gets five minutes with Yamaguchi-San. Men’s Teiyoh is first and Val is rolled up for two. Val comes back with some clotheslines and a fisherman’s suplex for a pin. Here’s Funaki who is powerslammed and pinned in about 5 seconds. Togo is third and Clinton is back on the phone. A powerbomb gets two for Venis and Clinton is gone. Val hits some knees to the ribs and a tilt-a-whirl slam. A powerbomb (good one too) sets up the Money Shot to get him to Taka, the last man.

The idea is that Val is getting tired despite having wrestled about five minutes. Taka has better luck, knocking Val to the floor and hitting that corner dive of his. Val comes back with the size and power advantage including a butterfly suplex for two. Taka can’t Michinoku Drive him so Val slams him down but misses the elbow. The Michinoku Driver ends this clean.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty boring, but what was the point in Val losing here? I mean, why make him go through three of them and then lose to the fourth? Not a very good match but it’s cool to see Taka hit that dive most of the time. I think this ends this feud if nothing else.

Mrs. Yamaguchi-San comes down to slap Val so Val sprays them with some white stuff from a pink cannon. Yeah that’s how funny they were in the 90s.

Here’s Undertaker to close the show. He has the high collar on and you can’t see his face. Austin has called him out all night so here’s the champ. Kane’s pyro goes off and yep it’s Kane. Kane beats on Austin for awhile but Austin takes over and clotheslines him to the floor. They fight up the hearse and Austin throws Kane inside. He goes to drive it off but Undertaker is in the driver’s seat. Highway To Hell plays and Taker drives it off to end the show. JR freaks out because Kane and Undertaker are leaving together, because that’s the only possible ending this could have had right?

Overall Rating: C-. This show went by very fast. It’s not a very good show but it’s not bad either. They pushed the HHH vs. Rock match and the main event really strong, but other than that it felt all over the place. I mean, did we really need that much on Shamrock vs. Owen or Jackie vs. Sable? Not a bad show but they need to get to Summerslam.

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Monday Night Raw – August 10, 1998: All Champions To The Main Event Please, All Champions To The Main Event

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 10, 1998
Location: Omaha Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 7,601
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Back to 1998 as my trip into all the short shows is done. We’re getting very close to Summerslam at this point with I believe three weeks to go. The main event tonight is a four way for the tag titles with Kane/Mankind defending against a bunch of people. Other than that we have the other Brawl For All Quarter-Finals. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Mankind to open the show. He says he’s tired of being lied to and deceived. He wants the truth and only one person has ever given him that: Vince McMahon. Mankind sits and waits for Vince to get here and pulls his hair out to pass the time. Vince finally gets here and Mankind says he needs his help.

Vince says this must be humiliating for Mankind and that he detests people that need help. The truth hurts, like when Kane was swinging for Mankind last week. Undertaker hit him with a chair too. Vince is calling him Mick now. Last night Undertaker disguised himself as Kane but it might as well have been Kane himself. The brothers are in collusion against everyone in the WWF. They’re one in the same you see.

Cue Kane and Bearer with Paul yelling at Vince, saying that Vince is the real manipulator of the WWF. Vince isn’t going to get into his mind or Kane’s mind either. Vince: “Are you done venting your spleen?” Vince says that that’s Undertaker under the Kane mask and demands it be removed. There go the lights but when they come back on Taker is in the ring in his regular gear and there’s no Kane. Taker grabs Vince by the throat but Mankind saves Vince.

Val Venis and John Wayne Bobbitt are having a joint press conference tonight.

Undertaker goes into his locker room and Kane can be seen inside.

Cue Sable to introduce Luna and the Oddities. Kurrgan dancing is still funny.

Luna vs. Jacqueline

Luna slams Jackie into the mat to start and Sable takes Mero down on the floor. Kurrgan glares Mero down when he comes after Sable and the match grinds to a halt. Jackie goes up top but gets crotched. A neckbreaker puts Jackie down and Luna goes up for a splash. Her hip kind of almost hits Jackie’s face but it gets the pin anyway. What a mess.

Highway to Hell Summerslam video. This is still awesome, even with Jerry talking to the director over it.

DX arrives. Oh wait it’s just the Outlaws.

Brawl For All Quarter-Finals: Savio Vega vs. Darren Drozdov

Droz is replacing Hawk who he injured. I’m not even going to waste my time with this. Droz wins and Savio was injured during this, meaning he never wrestled for WWF again.

Chyna tells Cole to Suck It and shoves him into a car. There’s a rumor that DX is splitting tonight.

Legion of Doom vs. Southern Justice

Hawk falls down the ramp. After a break the suits won’t let Hawk compete so Droz replaces him. Thank goodness Tennessee Lee got dumped last night. There’s no match as Jeff Jarrett comes out and breaks the guitar over Droz’s head in retaliation for a loss last night. Jeff cuts Droz’s hair.

X-Pac arrives.

Here are the Outlaws in serious mode. Pac comes out alone, followed by HHH and Chyna. HHH says everyone wants to know where DX stands but Pac cuts him off, saying he’s had enough of this. He says HHH and Chyna are jackoffs, so HHH calls Pac a jackoff. The Outlaws are jackoffs too. JR declares DX dead, and since no wrestling announcer has EVER jumped to conclusions it must be true! Everyone agrees that they’re all jackoffs and HHH says they’re not sure if they should split. HHH says it’s time for the split so they all start to take down their pants. Chyna stops them and takes her’s down. Not bad.

Austin throws Cole in the shower in the back. Not a good night for him.

Vader vs. Godfather

Bart Gunn pops up at the announce desk and wants respect from JR instead of hearing about how Williams had a bad knee. Godfather offers the ladies to Vader, most of which are flat out ugly. This takes awhile and Vader takes the girls. Bart Gunn knocks out Vader and takes Godfather down. Yes, this whole thing was a build up to the Brawl For All next week.

Dustin Rhodes says read the Bible and watch the Discovery Channel. He is coming back. This segment was sponsored by Evangelists Against Television Movies and Entertainment. Man when Vince wants to drive something in he doesn’t stop does he?

Here are Val and John Wayne Bobbitt (dude that got a rather specific area cut off by his wife. It was reattached and he made an adult movie about it. This was in 1993 so why they’re doing this now I’m not sure) for a press conference. He has an ice pack between his legs. He makes some expected jokes in a sad voice but then reveals that he’s fine. Lawler makes his own jokes and Val dumps Mrs. Yamaguchi-San for causing him all this trouble. He throws her a battery in a funny bit.

Edge is here.

Brawl For All Quarter-Finals: Bradshaw vs. Marc Mero

Bradshaw wins by points in overtime. Next.

Taker says he’ll explain his actions in the ring.

Tag Titles: The Rock/Owen Hart vs. Undertaker/Steve Austin vs. New Age Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind

You can’t pin your partner, which is called the Outlaw Rule. During the Outlaws’ entrance, Ken Shamrock comes out and puts Owen in the ankle lock. It turns into a big brawl with HHH coming out as Owen taps to the ankle lock. The Nation fights DX and we take a break. D’Lo is replacing Owen. There’s no Mankind with Kane and Bearer. Oh wait he’s just behind them. Austin and Taker are the champions if that got lost in the shuffle.

In case you’re keeping track, every champion in the company other than Taka is in this match. Austin and Mankind start things off with Mankind getting a fast Mandible Claw which is broken up quickly. Neckbreaker gets two for Foley. He heads to the floor to avoid a Stunner though and walks up the ramp. Rock vs. Austin now and Mankind is back. Brown comes in and hits a spin kick as I think Lawler is losing his voice.

Brown takes a Thesz Press and Austin tags Kane. Kane tags Billy as this is moving very fast. Fameasser puts Brown down as does a gorilla press which gets two. Roadie comes in with the shaky knee for two. Mankind comes in to beat Roadie down but the pulling piledriver is countered. Back to Brown as these tags are almost impossible to keep track of. Finally we get to the important part though as Austin and Taker have to tag and they take turns killing Billy Gunn.

Gunn finally falls into a tag to Austin, making the partners legal. They wisely bring Road Dogg in because they can’t pin each other so there’s nothing to gain by fighting. Old School takes Road Dogg down and Taker tags in Brown. D’Lo hooks a chinlock and things finally slow down. There’s the Low Down but Billy makes the save. Rock comes back in and drops the People’s Elbow to a ROAR. Things slow way down as Mankind comes in. He spits at Austin and Taker but walks into a Russian legsweep from Road Dogg to put him down.

There’s the tag to Undertaker and everything breaks down as we’ve expected it to do the entire match. Kane hasn’t been in the match yet and is standing on the apron during the big brawl. Taker knocks everyone down and Mankind tags Kane. He chokeslams Undertaker very easily and wins the titles.

Rating: C. This was a mess and that’s all it was designed to be. It’s not like the titles meant anything here so changing them is fine. Russo was booking at this point so having everything be crazy like this is one of his trademarks. Still though, for a TV main event this was pretty huge and it worked pretty well.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the best show but it wasn’t bad. The Brawl For All ends in two weeks and I couldn’t be happier. It stops the show dead every time and with these little three minute fights, no one is going to be able to get into them. Anyway, ok show here but it’s clear they’re counting the days until Summerslam.

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Smackdown – February 1, 2001: Smackdown Extreme

Smackdown
Date: February 1, 2001
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 11,757
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is a special called Smackdown Extreme. This was claimed to be live but from what I can tell, this was taped two days before. What exactly is extreme about it I’m not sure but I seem to remember some gimmick matches being added in here. This would be just after the Rumble so we need an opponent for Austin at Mania, so we need to start building up to No Way Out. Let’s get to it.

There’s a red X over the logo here because it’s EXTREME!!!

Rock vs. Angle for the title later.

Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

The Dudleys are defending in their specialty here, the tables match. Only one has to go through a table for the win here. It’s a brawl to start as at the moment there’s no tagging going on. Jeff takes the reverse 3D and What’s Up Matt? The Dudleys set Jeff on a table but he punches Bubba in the balls. Jeff tries a top rope rana but D-Von moves the table. Jeff does the same to save Matt from a double flapjack.

In a cool spot, Bubba is about to superplex Jeff through a table but Matt dives through it instead. Bubba superplexes him onto the wreckage but it doesn’t count because Bubba didn’t drive Matt through it. That makes sense. Matt busts out a ladder and throws D-Von into it. The Hardys set up a table on the floor and then a second beside it. D-Von is placed onto one of them and Matt climbs the ladder but Bubba saves.

D-Von climbs up but Bubba throws Jeff into the two of them and they fall, SLAMMING THEIR HEADS INTO THE EDGE OF THE TABLE WIHCH DOESN’T BREAK!!! FREAKING OW MAN!!! Everyone is on the floor now with Bubba and Jeff up by the stage. Matt and D-Von are mostly dead as the others fight up by the production tables. They go up onto the stage and after a brief brawl, Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb to Jeff through the tables to retain.

Rating: C. Picture a match between these two teams and make it a tables match. That’s more or less what you had here and it wasn’t that bad. The problem these teams along with Edge/Christian had was you saw them do the matches so many times and it got very repetitive after awhile. This was entertaining enough though.

Austin is watching in the back.

All four guys are getting medical attention in the back. Lita comes up and Matt says go worry about winning the Women’s Title.

We recap HHH and Austin’s contract signing. The deal was if Austin hit HHH before the PPV, he lost his title shot. If HHH hit Austin before the PPV, he was suspended six months. HHH signed and then hit Austin, but he only pretended to sign and then laid Austin out.

Austin leaves his dressing room.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Lita vs. Jacqueline

Ivory is champion. The challengers slide to the floor to get at Ivory so she runs. That fails completely and the double beating continues. The fans are all behind Lita here. Lita gets a headscissors for two on Ivory and it’s your typical one girl beats on Ivory and the other saves the pin and then switch it up. Lit puts Jackie down and hits the moonsault but Ivory comes in to steal the pin. Just how I like my Jackie matches: short.

HHH and Steph get here and find that it was Austin’s dressing room they were in. They find beer cans everywhere and Austin comes out of their bathroom. Everything is leaking apparently and Stephanie is disgusted. This could get awesome.

Here are Edge/Christian who are all worried about their opponents. And they’re facing….Kai En Tai. The Canadians interfered in a tag title match for Kai En Tai on Monday to set this up. However, Funaki has a bad rash so the EVIL Kai En Tai has some replacements.

Edge/Christian vs. Acolytes

The APA rushes the ring and it’s Bradshaw vs. Christian to start. This is two days before the start of the XFL so you know Cole is going to plug that. Bradshaw goes after Edge and the distraction lets Christian hit a dropkick to take over. Off to Edge who beats on Bradshaw a bit until the future rich guy is able to bring in Farrooq. Everything breaks down and Christian escapes the Dominator. Edge slides in some chairs but Funaki takes the Concharito for him. Edge goes after Taka and Farrooq hits a spinebuster on Christian for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much here but they went fast enough that it wasn’t going to get that bad. Also it allows Kai En Tai to get their revenge without making the Canadians look weak. Not a particularly good match but it did what it was supposed to do, which is as much as you can ask for most of the time. You wouldn’t get that today.

Vince yells at people saying that he has his own issues to deal with because he has his own problems. Regal comes in to say Vince has a phone call. Unless it’s Dick Ebersol Vince isn’t interested. Regal says it’s personal and whispers it to Vince, which makes him take it.

Vince is on the phone with someone and says that whoever it is is the most important person to them. That person is here in Columbus. Lawler thinks it’s Trish.

We talk about Chyna making personal appearances to plug her book. She was on Conan last night so we get a clip of it.

Billy Gunn is glad Chyna is keeping a positive mental attitude and has been making all those media appearances. Big Show comes in and is tired of hearing about Chyna so he shoves Billy down. He wants to know when he gets his interview because he’s been out six months.

Trish is in a bubble bath and is on the phone. Why she’s cool with a camera watching this is anyone’s guess. She says there’s plenty of room and wants whoever she’s talking to to come down there right now.

Video on Chris Jericho.

HHH is ticked off at Austin and says he’s not sure if he can make it to the end of this without getting suspended. Steph says calm down and focus on getting the title. She’s going to go talk to Vince because she has an idea.

Jericho, the IC Champion, says he knows extreme so he’s issuing an extreme open challenge for a title match right now.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Taz

Taz says he’ll make Jericho just another victim. Jericho works on the arm to start with an attempt at a Fujiwara Armbar but Taz fights him off. A head and arms suplex puts Jericho down and out on the floor. Jericho gets rammed into the barricade and Taz hooks a chinlock back inside. Jericho gets a rollup but Taz gets out and clotheslines him down. Enziguri puts the challenger down and a forearm gets two. Taz grabs the Tazmission but Jericho escapes and the bulldog sets up the Lionsault for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but this was again nothing special. This is something you don’t get anymore: one off title defenses to build up the champion a little bit. It doesn’t seem like much here but if you do this four or five times, the champion looks a lot better and is on a roll. See how easy it can be to do that?

Vince is about to leave when Stephanie comes up. He’s in a hurry but she says she has an idea. Vince is in such a hurry that he drives off himself. The idea is add HHH to the world title match tonight which Vince agrees to so he can get out.

Here’s The Kat in a very small top. She talks about how everyone is talking about Smackdown Extreme and all the gimmick matches we’ve got tonight. There are other ways to get extreme though, and that’s where she comes in. There’s nothing she won’t do to get a rise out of the fans and she excels at it. She knows what turns men on and she knows what men want to see. She’s going to give us full frontal nudity and she manages to get her pants off, but as the top is untied, the RTC comes out to cover her up.

Richards goes on a rant against the crowd and Lawler says he hates him. This was a parody of the PTC, which is a group that basically tries to tell everyone how to think and what they should or shouldn’t be allowed to watch on TV. Naturally they hate Vince and the WWF.

We see some Tough Enough auditions, none of which I recognize.

Rock talks about the main event now being a triple threat. HHH got lucky to be married to Stephanie and is getting Rock’s shot as a result. Rock has been in the main event of the last two Wrestlemanias and has to win the title to do it a third straight year. Rock tells Angle to go to the local arcade and take a bunch of pictures of himself. Make them into a belt to hold your pants up because after the Rock takes the title, Angle is going to need something to hold up your pimply hemorrhoid (To Kevin Kelly: “Don’t get excited. The Rock said hemorrhoid not hermaphrodite”) head. Angle and HHH can just bring it.

Austin is still drinking beer. He shakes up two cans and leaves with them.

Big Show vs. Billy Gunn

Billy tries to speed things up so Show kicks his head off. There’s a claw hold and Show hammers on him. Gunn is grabbed by the throat, picked up and dropped but that’s not a chokeslam somehow. The crushing goes on for awhile. Gunn gets something like a sleeper but is countered into a side slam. Billy misses an elbow and hits a bulldog but Show kicks out with ease. Chokeslam ends this a moment later.

Rating: D. Billy Gunn is an interesting case and a fine case study for future attempted pushes. They tried for years to push him as a singles guy but the fans never accepted it. The company kept trying it but at the end of the day he was still Billy Gunn, just a few years later. The fans still didn’t care for him and it still didn’t work. WWE never quite got it though so Billy’s push was never effective. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, as Billy had the perfect look but never got over as he was expected to because the fans just didn’t want him.

HHH is getting ready when Austin comes in and offers him and Stephanie a beer. Instead he opens it and it sprays all over HHH.

Angle says why not make this in a shark tank and the only way you win is to put the opponent down the shark’s throat and pin the shark. He’s ready for the main event.

Video on Kane’s Rumble dominance.

The Brothers of Destruction are ready for the Samoans tonight.

Undertaker music video to Rollin by Limp Bizkit.

Undertaker/Kane vs. Haku/Rikishi

First blood here. Total brawl to start with Undertaker throwing Haku into the steps. The Brothers ping pong Rikishi with punches until Haku is back up. Rikishi and Undertaker head into the ring and Taker hits Old School. The pairings switch off and the Samoans get chairs to take over. Rikishi pounds on Kane in the corner and sets for a Stinkface but Taker cracks Haku with a chair and Kane breaks it up with a low blow. A chokeslam puts Rikishi down and Haku is bleeding but it isn’t seen. Steps to the head of Rikishi and the referee sees Haku bleeding to end it.

Rating: D+. Just a brawl that had a way to declare a winner. This feud wasn’t really interesting anyone and it only ended because of an injury to Rikishi. Not much to see as far as a match but power matches are always kind of fun to see. Kane and Undertaker would move on to bigger things very soon.

The Brothers beat down the Samoans post match to clear the ring.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Rock and HHH start fighting before Angle gets here. Angle runs out and is thrown to the floor almost immediately. DDT gets two for Rock very fast. Kurt gets back in and is punched to the floor almost immediately. Pedigree out of nowhere gets two. The match has only been going a minute so far. Here’s Austin because the first minute didn’t have enough happening in it. He comes out with a cooler to watch the match.

Angle uses the distraction to grab the Olympic Slam (back when it could still get a pin) for two as Rock saves. Rock suplexes Angle down but can’t follow up so all three are down. HHH pounds on Rock and goes up top (???) only to have Rock punch him and slam him off the top. Rock throws HHH over the corner and out to the floor but Angle suplexes him. Austin goes for a walk and puts a beer in front of HHH’s face.

HHH slaps it away as Rock comes back on Angle. Rock grabs the Sharpshooter but HHH comes in and DDTs him to break up the hold, getting two. The jumping knee hits and HHH takes him down with a neckbreaker for two. Angle suplexes HHH but walks into a Rock Bottom. Stephanie distracts the referee and Rock goes after her, allowing HHH to blast him. Angle Slam gets two. HHH sets for a catapult but gets kicked into the referee. Angle hits HHH low to break up the Pedigree and rolls him up but there’s no referee. Austin comes in and grabs the referee’s hand to slap the mat three times.

Rating: B. I liked this match a lot as they only had about ten minutes to work with and so they didn’t put anything slow paced out there. Almost everything was about hitting finishers which I usually dislike but this match was thrown together so there was no time for planning or anything like that. Fun match and the ending played into the Austin vs. HHH feud very well.

Overall Rating: B. I could see how people would like this show a lot but to me, there are a lot of dead spots on it. It’s certainly good and an entertaining show, but it doesn’t ever really get past good and into great. Austin vs. HHH would be a great match at No Way Out and it set up the greatest PPV ever, but this never got past being just a good show and into an area of greatness.

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Smackdown – March 9, 2012: We’re Three Weeks From Wrestlemania. Do They Know That?

Smackdown
Date: March 9, 2012
Location: Mohegan Sun Casion, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

Johnny Ace is in charge tonight and if it’s the same as when Teddy ran Raw on Monday, then we’re in for a very uneventful night indeed. Other than that I don’t think we have much else announced for tonight. Hopefully we get anything on the story for Sheamus vs. Bryan as we need any reason to care about them. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Ace hosting tonight and implying he’s out to steal the job permanently.

We open with a cage being lowered. Otunga and Ace are in the ring. Tonight we’re starting with a championship match in a cage because Teddy has never done that.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger throws him into the corner and pounds Santino down followed by a modified powerslam for two. Clothesline gets two. This has been all Swagger in the first two minutes. Santino tries to escape but Swagger launches him face first into the steel. Santino comes back with some punches and his signature stuff. Headbutt gets two and here comes the Cobra. Ziggler tries to climb in so his hands get hit by the Cobra to knock him to the floor.

Swagger grabs Marella in a belly to back suplex but Santino hits the Cobra to escape and both guys are down. Ziggler is ejected and we take a break. Back with Santino taking a knee to the ribs to put him down. Swagger takes the Cobra glove off and throws it to the floor. Rollup gets one for Santino and a sunset flip gets two. Swagger throws him down and hits a Vader Bomb for two.

He tries to climb but gets crotched and covered for two. Santino gets most of the way over but Swagger saves and they’re both back inside now. Santino comes back with a tornado DDT and crawls for the door. Santino kicks Swagger off and dives again but Swagger grabs the ankle lock. Vickie tries to slam the door on Santino’s head but hits Swagger instead, allowing Santino to crawl out to retain at 7:33 shown of 11:03.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. Why this was in a cage is beyond me, but I guess it’s to further the Ace vs. Long feud somehow. The match was just ok as neither is particularly great in the ring but the crowd was way into Santino. It’s better than Swagger having the title as he actually gets on TV too. I guess this is Ryder’s push too.

Teddy comes out to celebrate with Santino.

Teddy comes to see Ace/Otunga and doesn’t want Aksana to have to face Kane. Ace enjoys seeing Teddy squirm and Teddy begs a bit. Ace proposes a match between himself and Teddy. If Ace loses, Aksana will face Kane. Ok then.

Shawn will confront Undertaker on Monday.

Here’s Drew McIntyre in his gear. Is anyone surprised by this? Drew says that Ace will rehired him if he wins a match against a mystery opponent.

Drew McIntyre vs. Great Khali

And never mind as Otunga says Khali isn’t in the match, so here’s the real opponent.

Drew McIntyre vs. Hornswoggle

So why did Khali come out there at all? Horny is terrified despite regularly beating full sized guys before. Drew dominates him and keeps pulling him up after slams. The referee stops it at 1:39.

Khali chops Drew post match.

Aksana is scared for Teddy but he says it’s ok.

Ace is warming up in a track suit.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mark Henry

So the word on the street is that Henry is in hot water for not being tough enough for working through his injuries, despite being out there almost every week working through his injuries. There’s your lesson guys: don’t work hard, don’t enhance your character, don’t work through injuries, or you might be in danger of being released. Slugout to start but Zeke gets beaten down quickly. Zeke comes back with the clotheslines in the corner but Henry runs him over again. World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:41. Well Jackson is moving up. Now he’s getting squashed by bigger names.

John Laurinitis vs. Teddy Long

Remember if Teddy wins, it’s Aksana vs. Kane. This gets big match intros. Ace grabs a mic after the bell rings and tries to talk Teddy out of this. Ace yells at Teddy to do the right thing and lay down, but Teddy won’t do it. Aksana freaks so Ace waves down Kane. Orton runs through the crowd and RKOs Kane, allowing Teddy to roll Ace up at about 2:30. Is this company aware the Wrestlemania is in three weeks? So to clarify, as soon as Kane gets up, he has to face Aksana right? Right?

According to the announcers, Teddy did that because Kane has been taken out so there won’t be a match. I’m as shocked as you are. Teddy and Aksana leave to have a nice dinner.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Primo/Epico

Uh oh. Kofi was starting to get over as a legit guy again so we better put him in the black tag team of the month. Now the Kane vs. Aksana match isn’t happening because Teddy and Aksana left. So why didn’t Teddy just send Aksana away earlier in the night? Epico and Kofi start with Epico being monkey flipped to the corner. Off to Truth who dances around and hits a spinning legdrop for two.

Back to Kofi and Primo hooks the rope to send Kofi to the floor. Booker praises the cheating for being the right move. See, that’s what most commentators are horrible at: being subtle. Things settle down a bit and it’s Kofi in trouble against Primo. Kofi comes back with a knee to the head and there’s the hot tag to Truth. Everything breaks down and the Little Jimmy gets the pin on Primo at 5:11.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but the tag champions get to job AGAIN to these two that have teamed together what, three times now? Why did Bourne have to get all drugged up when the division was actually getting some stability to it? This wasn’t a particularly good match, mainly because you knew the champions weren’t going to win.

Three minutes on Cena vs. Rock from Monday.

Here’s Cole in the ring to talk to Sheamus and Bryan. Yes, they’re actually talking about this match. Cole’s first question is to Bryan, asking how much of a role luck has played in his title reign. Bryan says you don’t need to be lucky when you’re good like he is. Nothing has been luck in any of his accomplishments, which he lists off. It’s been living a vegan lifestyle and scientific skill that has given him the title. That and charisma and sex appeal.

Sheamus says everyone needs a bit of luck. He’s lucky to be from Ireland and to be in WWE and in America and in front of all these people here. You make your own luck however and Sheamus has fought his way here. He also hasn’t hid behind a 99lb girl who looks like she should be in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. AJ: “Well from my point of view…” Bryan: “AJ shut up.” Sheamus says Bryan should be wearing the skirt. At Wrestlemania, Bryan’s luck runs out.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes/Daniel Bryan/The Miz

The staredown got cut short for Cody’s entrance, meaning once again this match gets like 3 minutes a week if it’s lucky. Sheamus vs. Cody gets things going. Quickly off to Randy as we hear again about Legacy and their history together. Orton stomps him down but Cody gets in a dropkick and the tag to Bryan. Cole says he’s starting to respect Bryan. Off to Big Show who throws the champion around a little bit more.

Bryan finally gets away and tags in his former NXT Pro. You know, in ancient history when NXT actually had a structure to it. Show throws Miz around too so Miz tags out to Cody. Cody comes in and tags out to Miz immediately. Show doesn’t care and brings Miz back in as we take a break. Back with Sheamus pounding on Miz. Miz comes back with some lefts in the corner but Sheamus comes back with a rolling fireman’s carry slam.

Off to Cody who gets the ten clubbing forearms in ropes. Miz finally gets in a shot to send him to the floor and Bryan adds the knee off the apron. Bryan vs. Sheamus now and Sheamus towers over him. Bryan keeps taking him down and strikes away with the knees and feet. Off to Miz who hits a running boot to the chest for two. Cody comes in as the heels are moving in and out well.

Back to Daniel who shouts YES with every kick in a funny bit. Miz hooks the chinlock and the knee to the back gets two. Here’s Cody again (see how fast they’re tagging?) as Cole makes fun of GI Bro. Celtic Cross out of nowhere is countered into a Russian legsweep for two. Irish Curse takes Cody down and there’s the hot tag to Randy. Everything breaks down and Show stalks Cody up the ramp. Elevated DDT takes Miz down but Bryan avoids it. Sheamus LAUNCHES Bryan into the barricade and they fight into the crowd. The Finale is countered into an RKO for the pin at 10:39 shown of 14:09.

Rating: C+. This was a good main event tag, but I’m really not sure why Miz was involved. Was Kane that injured off a single RKO? At least we got some in ring time for the two matches, although I’m worried that they’re going to give the title to Big Show which is one of the last people that they need to put a title on. Good match overall though.

Kane comes out post match and pulls Orton out to the floor. Kane knocks him into the crowd (called the Universe by Cole to make me roll my eyes) and they fight up the steps to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I REALLY didn’t like this show. It’s like the main matches are being pushed back for the sake of the Teddy Long and Johnny Ace and Aksana. As I said earlier, do they realize that there are three weeks before Wrestlemania? I know Ace vs. Teddy is going to be lead to a match at Mania but the rest of the show felt thrown together. We have an unneeded gimmick match, Drew being rehired again, meaning that weeks of losses add up to nothing, a Henry squash, and the tag champions losing again. This show had no focus at all and it was a pain to sit through as a result. Bad show.

Results
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Marella escaped the cage
Drew McIntyre b. Hornswoggle due to referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. Ezekiel Jackson – World’s Strongest Slam
Teddy Long b. John Laurinitis – Rollup
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Primo/Epico – Little Jimmy to Primo
Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show b. The Miz/Cody Rhodes/Daniel Bryan – RKO to Miz

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Elimination Chamber 2012 – Oh Sorry I Have The Wrong Show. I Wanted The One About ELIMINATION CHAMBERS.

Elimination Chamber 2012
Date: February 19, 2012
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

This is the final stop on the Road to Wrestlemania, or the beginning of the road, depending on how you look at it. The even money would seem to be on both of the champions retaining here but you can never be sure. I mean, Santino is scheduled to be in this match so how sure can you be? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would imagine it is.

The Chamber is lowered.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Jericho enters last due to winning a match on Raw two weeks ago. Punk and Kofi start us off. Naturally the two faces wrestle as faces. Also they’re not going to use a lot of energy this early in the match. Kofi goes to the ropes but might have slipped a bit. It was nothing bad though. They trade pinfall reversals and Kofi avoids the GTS. Punk avoids the Boom Drop and they go to the outside. Well as to the outside as you can go.

Punk blocks a kick and slingshots Kofi into the pod which has a great thud sound effect. Back into the ring but Punk has hurt his hip. It was probably due to that time when he got slammed out on the chain and landed on his hip, but that’s just speculation. Here’s the first pod opening and it’s…..a guy in pink trunks. The new idea they want to push is that it can go from a one on one match to a triple threat and so on. Great, another thing to have drilled into our heads.

Ziggler goes after Punk and does pullups on the Chamber wall. He splashes Kofi back in the ring and we’re told that pins have to take place in there. Good thing to clarify. A splash attempt on Punk misses and everyone is in some trouble. Punk and Kofi double team Dolph and go to the outside for a double springboard. In a cool looking visual, they both dive at Dolph but collide in the air off the springboards due to Dolph ducking.

Dolph can’t cover though so we open pod #2 after about three minutes. It’s R-Truth who works on the pink one. He’s no Bret Hart. Truth knocks Ziggler over the ropes to send Dolph leg first into the cage. Truth dives on top of him because he’s not that smart all the time. Scissors kick gets two in the ring. Punk does his usual ramming his head into the other guy’s ear to call a spot before superplexing Truth for two.

Trouble in Paradise misses Punk and Kofi gets thrown to the outside. Macho Elbow eliminates Truth but Ziggler grabs a rollup. Punk rolls through it and Kofi hits the kick on Punk (looked SICK). Ziggler goes after Kofi of course but Kofi fights him off. He can only get two on the champ though due to the delay. Kofi does the springboard into the Spider-Man cage grab then hits a tornado DDT Dolph onto the cage, basically knocking him silly.

Here’s Miz in fifth to clean house. Everyone is down now so Miz covers Dolph, getting two. Kofi gets up on the ropes and kicks Miz in the face but is knocked off and crashes into the cage. GTS and Finale are both blocked so Miz hits the short DDT for two. They head to the mat and Punk grabs the Vice on Miz, but wouldn’t you know it, Jericho comes in to break it up before the tap.

Jericho and Punk square off with Jericho in control. Walls and GTS are both blocked but the Lionsault hits for two. Ziggler comes back in and walks into the Codebreaker to get us down to four (Punk, Jericho, Miz, Kofi). Punk catches a Jericho dropkick and catapults Chris out to the cage again. Jericho gets rammed into the pods so he gets a finger into Punk’s eye and hides in the pod. That works for about two seconds as Punk follows him in.

Punk’s arm gets caught in the door and Jericho pulls on it to ram Punk into the pod door. Kofi remembers that he’s alive and tries the SOS on the cage, driving his own head into the cage. Miz and Kofi are the only ones up now but Miz misses the running clothesline and Kingston goes up. A superplex is countered as Punk powerbombs Miz for two. Kofi climbs to the top of the pod and dives onto both of them but can’t pin Miz.

Jericho comes in and Liontames Kofi for the elimination to get us down to three. He beats on Kofi after the elimination and throws him out of the Chamber. Punk kicks Jericho out of the Chamber and he’s unconscious. The referees say he’s done and say he’s not responsive. I’m REALLY not liking them doing this a week after what happened to Sorensen. The cameraman is down too but sits up a few seconds later.

Back in the ring Miz tries the Reality Check but Punk counters with a high kick for two. The running knee and bulldog get two but Punk springboards into the Finale for two. Miz freaks out and talks a lot of trash in the corner but misses a charge, hitting his head on the pod. GTS puts him out at 32:39 and I guess Jericho isn’t running in as a surprise since it’s over.

Rating: C+. The Chamber is one of those matches that gets an automatic higher grade to start. This was one of the weaker ones I can remember. For me the problem is that the main feud in this, Jericho and Punk, has no heat on it and there’s zero reason for this to be in the Chamber. They were the only two that had a chance in this but their feud has just begun with nothing but a run-in by Jericho, a promo and some staring. That’s the problem that these calendar based PPVs present and that looks like how the future will be.

We recap Santino getting his spot in the Chamber.

Santino drinks Raw eggs to Eugene’s music and with a towel that looks like it has the All That logo on it.

Remember those overly long videos on Rock and Cena? Here’s another one, this time on Cena’s training regimen and the gym he goes to. Some developmental guys work out there. This one wastes four minutes of PPV time.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is wearing something inspired by Piper. This match could be subtitled “How many times can we remind you that Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter in a last ditch effort to make you care about her”. Tamina goes up quickly but gets knocked down to the outside. Beth pounds on her and Tamina barely gets back inside. Tamina gets up and hits a Samoan Drop but the Splash is broken up. Superplex gets two for Beth and Tamina chops her down. Superfly Splash gets two. Tamina goes up again but Beth brings her down, sends her into the buckle and the Glam Slam retains the title at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Call me sexist, call me a chauvinist, call me whatever you want, but I’m bored out of my mind every time the Divas are on screen. They’re waiting on Beth vs. Kharma which basically means they’re spending a year putting the whole division on hold, but at the end of the day is anyone going to care? I mean, who is Kharma going to feud with once she beats Beth? The division means nothing and it’s so uninteresting. The US Title can’t get on PPV because we have to see this. Right.

Santino punches some meat.

Jericho can’t talk.

Here’s Ace for his big announcement. He’s the Raw interim GM and he’s heard complaints about Smackdown’s GM Teddy Long. And never mind as here’s Alberto Del Rio! He says Teddy is a dog and likes to play favorites. Alberto wants Ace to be permanent Raw GM and the GM of Smackdown too. That brings out Henry who Cole thought was suspended (wasn’t he on Smackdown this week?).

Henry thinks Teddy is a bully who physically assaulted him. He supports the idea of Ace as permanent GM of both shows. Here’s Christian in a hat. Christian says that Teddy has been negligent and Smackdown is an unsafe working environment. He endorses Ace for GM as well. Ace has a picture taken of all four of them and then a second one. Now one with Otunga in it as well. And that’s that.

Santino runs some steps.

The Chamber is lowered. As in the ambulance match is main eventing ELIMINATION CHAMBER instead of an ELIMINATION CHAMBER.

Big Show says he has to win tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett and Big Show start in the ring. Show runs Barrett over to start but Barrett gets him down for one. They go outside and Show gets rammed into the cage door twice. Wade goes after the knee but Show kicks him off. We get a statement from Lawler saying that if you’re knocked out (like Jericho was) that counts as a submission. Why do I have a feeling this won’t be enforced later? Show wants Bryan as the buzzer goes off but gets Cody instead. Show is standing there waiting on him and things slow down a lot.

Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.

Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.

Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they’re both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it’s the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there’s a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it’s Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.

Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There’s Cody’s next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino’s arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.

Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he’s an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he’s eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he’s up against as it’s one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.

Rating: B-. Better match with better drama, but at the end of the day this wasn’t that great. Khali being out quick was fine but I have some real issues with them jobbing out their heels AGAIN for the sake of a one off thing. Barrett was this evil violent and cunning man and he loses to Santino. The same for the longest reigning IC Champion in 8 years. And for what? A pop because they can’t put the freaking US Champion in there? Ok I’m shutting up before I go too long with this. Match was ok, but nothing great.

Here’s Sheamus post match who takes Bryan out.

Time for unfunny comedy with Natalya. Cheese is present. Horny says that jack cheese is his favorite. Jack Swagger gets a cameo with Vickie, prompting a cottage cheese line. Justin Gabriel gets in Jack’s face so Teddy makes our filler match. Jack says that one man should run both shows. Teddy agrees but says it should be him. The match is for the title.

Buy Rock’s new DVD!

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel

Please change the title. Swagger controls to start and hits the Vader Bomb for no cover. Gabriel gets in some basic offense but Swagger grabs the ankle lock and wins by submission at 3:00. Of all the matches I’ve ever seen added to a PPV to fill in time, this was one of them.

Undertaker will be on Raw tomorrow.

We recap Cena vs. Kane. Kane wants Cena to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder then makes Cena make out with a hot woman to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Conclusion? Ambulance match, duh.

John Cena vs. Kane

You win by putting your opponent in the ambulance and having it driven out of the arena. You know Walt Disney was an ambulance driver in World War I when he was about 14. True story. Kane’s broken leg by Henry has been changed into a self imposed exile. Ok then. Cena charges to start and they head to the floor. They fight by the ambulance and use some of the stuff inside it as well.

Back to the ring and Kane goes into the steps but takes over anyway. Kane hits the side slam but Cena ducks the clothesline. He hits some of his signature stuff but the AA is countered into a smother. Cena goes down and is out cold so Kane throws him to the floor. He goes under the ring and pulls out a wheelchair. Well at least he’s making sure Cena is comfortable.

Cena escapes the chair and they fight to the ambulance again. Kane gets slammed into the vehicle and put into the chair. Cena rolls the chair into some production stuff. They fight into the tech area and Cena goes all beast mode. He asks Booker if this gets him a spot in the Fave Five and rams the steps into Kane’s head. John sets up the steps and tries to AA Kane through the table but Kane reverses into a chokeslam through it instead.

Kane goes up to the ambulance and gets a stretcher on wheels. Kane gets him in the ambulance but can’t close the second door. Cena kicks it into Kane’s face and they fight to the cab of the ambulance. John climbs onto the roof of the cab and then on top of the ambulance. They slug it out up there and Cena AA’s Kane off the ambulance into a conveniently placed area we can’t see. At least you couldn’t see the crash pad. He puts Kane in, closes the doors and it’s over at 21:21.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but it wasn’t great at all. Why this finished the show rather than one of the title matches is beyond me, unless something changes after the match. Cena winning was obvious and that’s fine. At least it ends this horrible storyline for good (in theory).

Overall Rating: D. Let’s see. The namesake match didn’t main event the show, the world titles didn’t change, the presumptive Mania matches are exactly what we thought they would be, and Cena wins again. Why exactly did this show exist again? I really didn’t like this one at all and it feels like WWE is being dragged into Mania instead of hitting it head on. They really need to crank things up before the PPV because in my eyes, what they’re doing heading into it isn’t working.

Results
CM Punk b. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho and R-Truth – Punk last eliminated The Miz after a GTS
Beth Phoenix b. Tamina Snuka – Glam Slam
Daniel Bryan b. Great Khali, Big Show, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella – Bryan last eliminated Marella with the LeBell Lock
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Ankle Lock
John Cena b. Kane – Cena put Kane in the ambulance

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Monday Night Raw – December 27, 1999 – Five Run-Ins, Two Chair Shots And A Ref Bump In A Six Minute Match

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 27, 1999
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another request that I don’t remember. This is the final show of the year 1999 and the main event is Big Show, who I think is WWF Champion at this point. Also there’s a Pink Slip on a Pole match between Mankind and Rock. I’m not sure if you would want to win that or not based on the name. This was during the McMahon-Helmsley Era so HHH is in charge on Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here’s DX to open the show, which includes HHH and Steph. HHH says they’re running the show and they want something right here and right now. This is when the big screens that usually say RAW have pictures of HHH and Stephanie. They talk about the near perfect plan and that the only thing missing is HHH being WWF Champion. Tonight it’s Show vs. HHH for the title.

Stephanie looks and sounds so much younger here. She’s 23 here so you know she looks good. X-Pac vs. Kane tonight. HHH yells about Foley trying to raise a revolution and that Foley needs to accept that they’re the power now. Cue Mankind….er Mick actually. Tonight there won’t be a union or mutiny. He talks about how he used to think DX was pretty cool. 364 days ago (a rare admission that Raw is taped) they carried him around after he won the world title.

Now he sees a lot of young children running around and trying to hide from their mom and dad. He asks Roadie how it felt to have Test drop an elbow on him. How did it feel when Kane choked Billy down. As for Pac, he’s being thrown to the wolves tonight. HHH only cares about winning the WWF Title. Mick is in the ring now. As soon as HHH wins the title, he’ll drop DX. DX jumps Foley and Rock makes the save.

HHH says he’s sick of this and that the WWF isn’t big enough for the two of them and DX. Stephanie whispers to him and HHH says the Rock N Sock Connection will never team up again. Tonight it’s the two of them in a pink slip on a pole match. One of them is gone after tonight.

Kane is waiting for Tori to get here. Last week the Outlaws threatened Tori, costing Kane the world title. DX kidnapped Tori.

Chyna vs. Crash Holly

The Kat is with Chyna during their implied lesbian S&M period. Crash has been talking trash about Chyna so Chyna wants to fight right here. This was probably a little after Chyna’s peak. Hardcore sits in on commentary. Crash jumped Chyna to start but gets punched in the ribs and DDTed for two. A sleeper drop ends this very quickly.

Tori gets back and says she loved Christmas. She says Pac was a gentleman and Kane isn’t happy. She could have left but stayed to honor his commitment. Kane is puzzled.

During the break Tori ran into Steve Lombardi. They chatted and nothing was wrong. Test came in and put his arm around her and she freaked and backed away.

For some reason, the Mean Street Posse are doing the ring announcing, time keeping and refereeing for this.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Dudley Boys vs. Acolytes vs. Edge/Christian

The Dudleys have only been around since late August so they’re new and on fire at this point. JR still has to say which is which. Joey Abs is guest referee and Pete Gas says that the Posse is good friends with the Acolytes. D-Von and Christian start things off. This is one fall to a finish. Brown replaces Christian and Bubba does the same with D-Von. Sky High out of nowhere gets two. Back to D-Von who gets Farrooq. The Posse jumps Bradshaw and the Dudleys hit a reverse 3D on Farrooq for a fast count pin. Too short to rate but it was pretty bad. The Canadians were never in the match.

Bradshaw KILLS the Posse with chair shots post match. Pete takes a double spinebuster and double jackknife.

Tori is crying and Kane asks what’s wrong. She says Test touched her. It was innocent but she’s acting like he groped her. Tori says he violated her so Kane GROWLS.

HHH has bought Stephanie a diamond. Speaking of Rocks (that’s their transition, not mine) he might be out of them tonight. HHH also wants Angle to lose his undefeated streak tonight. Stephanie doesn’t like that but Kane and Tori come in and Kane demands a match with Test. Gee, that certainly gets X-Pac out of trouble doesn’t it?

Kurt Angle vs. Headbangers

Angle is still a goofy idiot and YOUR American hero so he makes sure to tell us about his Three I’s. I love this version of him as he was hilarious. He says that even though Greensboro isn’t that smart, but if they stick with Integrity and Intensity, they’ll do just fine. They have to tag. Not that it matters as Steve Blackman comes out, hits Mosh with a kendo stick and puts Angle on top for the pin. I think this was where Blackman wanted to end Angle’s streak. Depending on how you determine it, that would have been either Tazz (Angle passed out but didn’t tap) or Rock who pinned him clean.

HHH isn’t happy with Blackman’s interference. Stephanie had told him not to do that but he must have forgotten. Stephanie seems to think Angle is cute.

Mankind says that he’s sorry but tonight he’s going to have to do some unpopular things because he’s not ready to be fired yet.

Here’s Snow for some ranting. Snow is a heel here due to being shunned by Mankind for Rock. He says he’s not here for your entertainment. He’s been in this business for 17 years and he’s sacrificed a lot of things. And for what? These people? He won’t make any more sacrifices…but here’s Chris Jericho. Chris tells Snow to shut up to solve his problems.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Al Snow

Sunset flip gets two for Jericho and they trade pinfall reversals. Snow slaps him and Jericho gets all mad. They go to the floor and Jericho rams his knee into Snow’s head. Jericho tries a rana but gets powerbombed instead. Snow Plow puts Jericho down but Chyna runs in and hits Snow in the head with Head to save the IC Title. Chyna leaves all smiley. Chyna would get a title shot on Thursday which would result in co-champions. Snow’s heel turn lasted about two more weeks until the company realized they were trying to push Al Snow as a heel and came to their senses.

Mark Henry tells Harvey Whippleman that he has a lot of sexual frustration built up and he needs to be alone with Mae. However he needs Harvey to take Moolah. Harvey says no way so Moolah grabs him by the ear and chokes him as she demands they go. This can’t end well.

The Rock vs. Mankind

The loser gets fired. They’re friends so no one wants to start this off. Foley hits a quick shoulder block and goes for the pole but gets pulled down. The same thing happens with Rock but Mankind pulls him down too. DX is watching on a very small monitor in the back. Rock puts him down with a DDT but Al Snow runs in and knocks Rock out with the Head. He wakes Mankind up and tells him to go up but Mankind won’t take it that way and drills Snow, throwing him to the floor.

Mankind turns around and walks into a Rock Bottom. Snow yells at Foley and says he’ll never help him again. Rock goes up but Mankind gets a low blow to stop it. They slug it out but Mankind ducks the clothesline and puts Rock down with a double arm DDT. There’s Mr. Socko and Rock is in trouble. Mankind goes up but Rock stops him. They fight on the corner and Rock rams Foley’s head into the pole and shoves him to the floor. Rock wins and Foley is fired.

Rating: C+. This was an interesting match. The idea is that you can’t really criticize them for being tentative because that’s character driven. They’re friends so they don’t want to hurt each other but they have to do what they have to do to survive. This worked pretty well I thought although it wasn’t that exciting.

Foley gets a standing ovation and says he’s not ashamed to lose to Rock. He’s ashamed as to how it happened though. He was going to retire in the year 2000 but it’s still 1999. What just happened kind of sucks. He loved everything he’s done and please pop in a Mankind tape and know he loved this. Just don’t watch this match because DX sucks. His firing lasted like a week.

The boys thank Foley for everything in the back.

Ivory/Prince Albert vs. The Kat/Val Venis vs. Gangrel/Luna vs. Jacqueline/Viscera

Kat is Women’s Champion. Why this match exists is beyond me. Val and Albert start this off. Val gets caught in a chokebomb and a slam. He tags in….Luna? Albert runs over her so she hits him low and brings in Val to face Viscera. Gangrel comes in illegally and takes a spinebuster. There’s the Money Shot but Teddy Long (referee) says that’s not the right referee. Bicycle kick from Albert pins Val quickly. What a mess.

Time for comedy! Harvey/Mark/Mae/Moolah are at dinner. Mark reads Mae a poem and wants her in bed. Harvey doesn’t know a poem for Moolah so he makes one up that insults her breath.

Foley says goodbye to the guys in the production truck.

X-Pac vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy means nothing at this point so this should be a show stealer. Not that it would be hard but you get the idea. Matt comes out with Jeff, as does their valet Terri. Jeff avoids some suplexes and dropkicks Pac down. Out to the floor and Jeff hits a sweet baseball slide. Whisper in the Wind to a grounded X-Pac misses and Pac takes over. Jeff comes back and a headscissors sends Pac to the floor. He runs the railing but X-Pac hits him in the ribs on the way down. Terri comes in and helps Jeff with Poetry in Motion. Swanton (called a Senton here) gets two. Jeff tries a moonsault but Pac kicks him low and hits the X-Factor for the pin.

Rating: B-. It was good but not as good as you would have expected. Jeff had nothing to lose here so he went up in the air as much as he could. That being said, he was still really young here (22) so he wasn’t quite ready to do all the flying and flips that he was supposed to be able to do here. Good high flying match though.

Back to the date and a fan asks Henry for an autograph. Harvey tries to help him spell it and the fan asks Henry why he’s such a loser. MAE HITS THE GUY IN THE CHEST! Moolah chokes him until Henry saves the guy. Mae and Mark leave to cuddle.

Kane vs. Test

Test tries to explain to Test what happened but then says give Tori Prozac or Midol. However he’ll fight if that’s what Kane wants. Kane hammers him into the corner and Tori eggs him on. Test gets some offense in but goes to the floor for some reason. Kane hits Test in the face with the steps which isn’t a DQ somehow. Now he shoves the referee and that’s the DQ. This was a beating, not a match.

Tori slaps Test post match.

Foley is still saying goodbye so HHH and Stephanie are going to send security to get rid of him.

Big Show says everything is a game anymore and the game is being run by HHH. He’s squashed everyone he’s been against and tonight, it’s Game Over.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Too Cool

Rikishi comes out for moral support. Road Dogg and Scotty start and Scotty speeds things up to start. Here comes the Worm (centipede according to Lawler so maybe it’s not perfected yet) but Dogg pops up and punches Scotty down. Off to Billy (in a sky blue t-shirt) who is in for about 5 seconds. Roadie misses a middle rope legdrop and here’s Grandmaster. Scotty and Billy fight on the floor as Rikishi takes Billy out. Sexay hits what we would call the Skull Crushing Finale and a top rope legdrop to Roadie but X-Pac comes in with an X-Factor to let Road Dogg get the pin. Short and average.

Rikishi piledrives Road Dogg post match and destroys X-Pac with a belly to belly. The Outlaws save him from the Banzai Drop though. Too Cool does get to dance though.

HHH and Stephanie have Foley thrown out.

Mae and Mark are in bed while Moolah and Harvey are in the other one. No clothing can be seen anywhere. COMEDY!

WWF Title: Big Show vs. HHH

Show still has long hair here. HHH makes this no DQ and tells DX to stay away but doesn’t sound that serious. HHH slugs him back into the corner but Show throws him in even harder. HHH knocks him to the floor and counters Show, ramming him into the post. Back in and Show Shows Up. There goes the referee and here comes DX. Roadie hits him low and Billy hits him with the belt.

That only gets two though and here comes Big Show. He knocks everyone down and powerslams HHH for two. Here comes Stephanie as it’s already 4-1. Show takes the Outlaws down with a flying clothesline and chokeslams X-Pac. Steph gives HHH a chair which caves his head in but Mankind runs in and hits HHH with the chair. Chokeslam ends this.

Rating: C-. Vince Russo may have left a few months earlier but his style was still firmly in place. This was a Russo main event with added gimmicks and run-ins galore (5 in a 6 minute match. That has to be some sort of record) on top of two chair shots and a ref bump. The match was nothing of note and Show winning capped off a bad night.

Overall Rating: C-. I have no idea if this show was any good or not. That’s due to 1999’s major strength/flaw (depending on where you sit): everything goes by so fast that you can’t tell if something was good or not because you’re busy looking at the other stuff. As for the stuff happening on this show, most of it didn’t matter as HHH would win the title the following week and Foley would be reinstated the week thereafter. That’s 1999 booking for you in a nutshell, and it was the most successful year WWF ever had by about a mile. Ok show, but not if you want in ring action.

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