Elimination Chamber Preview

It’s the last show before we really get on the Road to Wrestlemania.I think I’m going to go with the champions to retain.  I don’t see anyone taking Bryan out, especially if Big Show is going to fight Shaq at Mania like the rumors say.  Same with Punk, unless they go with Jericho to set up Punk proving he’s the best in the world by taking his title back.

 

Tamina I guess, not that it matters.

 

Cena over Kane for obvious reasons.

 

I’ll throw in a pair of bonus matches of Swagger retains over whomever he defends against and Sheamus squashes someone.

 

Your thoughts/picks?




Monday Night Raw – February 1, 1999 – 300th Episode

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 1, 1999
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Attendance: 6,986
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the 300th (or so) episode of Raw. We’re just after the Rumble and we’re solidly in the middle of Vince vs. Austin. Taker is starting to get psycho at this point and the Ministry is around, but it hasn’t hit its peak yet. The main event tonight is Kane vs. HHH in a cage. Mankind won the world title “last night” at Halftime Heat. Both this show and Halftime Heat were taped the previous week. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips of the empty arena match where Mankind won the world title in what I thought was a fun match. The ending is stupid but it is 1999 WWF so you have to cut them some slack.

We open with Shane having a meeting with the Corporation. Vince isn’t here tonight so he’s in charge. Kane is traveling on his own which freaks Shane out.

Here’s the Corporation to open the show. It’s Shane, Bossman, Test and Shamrock. Shane says he isn’t X-Pac and sends everyone else to the back. Vince is down in Victoria, Texas to try to provoke Austin into hitting him so that Austin gets fired. Shane calls for the cage to be lowered. What he doesn’t see is X-Pac riding down on it. The Corporation is getting beaten down by DX in the back.

Shane talks smack about X-Pac and then sees him. He begs off and tries to buy time for the Corporation to save him. Pac jumps him until Chyna runs out for the save. Pac spin kicks Shane down but takes a low blow. Chyna and Shane leave together.

Here’s the WWF Super Bowl commercial. This was at the beginning of every home video for like a year.

Vince is in Texas with the Stooges. They’re in cowboy hats so Vince says they look ridiculous. They’re in a badly lit bar and Vince asks the bartender if she’s seen Austin. He makes fun of her accent and gets annoyed when she won’t answer him.

Here’s Shamrock who is IC Champion at this point. Val Venis has been hitting on Shamrock’s sister and made one of his videos with her.

Billy Gunn vs. Val Venis

This is part of the threeway feud for the IC Title. Shamrock goes on a huge rant about Venis before the match while on commentary. Val says he’s a lot like a custom Harley: good on the eyes, powerful between the legs and ready to be rode all night long. Billy moons Val and stomps on him in the corner. Cole asks if Ken’s sister might be making consensual decisions with Val. Ken says he makes the decisions for her.

Ken goes on another rant about how horrible adult films are and how it needs to be banned from the country. Billy hits a powerslam for two. The fans start laying into Shamrock as this match is background noise for the Shamrock rants. Lawler of course goes on about how Venis was soaping up Shamrock’s sister in the shower. Val hooks a chinlock and Shamrock has promised not to put a hand on Val. Shamrock finally has enough and whacks Val with a chair. Not his finger though, right? The camera cut to the crowd during the shot for some reason.

Rating: D. The match sucked for the most part but like I said, the whole point of this was to hear Shamrock’s rants. This was pretty funny stuff as Shamrock went all insane conservative instead of just his usual insane. Ryan (his sister) was rather attractive so I can’t say I’m complaining about her being Val’s partner.

Val thinks Billy hit him with the chair so he hits Billy with the chair (again cutting to the audience).

Somehow Mankind got $100,000 out of Shane’s trust fund and has been going on a spending spree. His first purchase: Max Mini for $487.

Rock doesn’t like the money being spent. He’s talking to Vince who is still in Texas.

Here’s Debra to brag about being the manager of the new tag champions. Mark Henry comes out to hit on her when Jarrett and Owen beat him down.

Mankind gives investment advice to Kurrgan. Kurrgan has no money so Mankind gives him some.

We recap D’Lo costing Terri her baby so he has to be the slave of PMS (Pretty Mean Sisters).

Before their match, Terri and Jackie complain about D’Lo not doing enough for them yet. Bossman insulted them earlier so they want D’Lo to fight him.

D’Lo Brown vs. Big Bossman

Bossman takes over to start with his power. A splash in the corner puts D’Lo down but he comes back with a leg lariat and some leg drops. Middle rope elbow gets two. Brown puts Bossman down and hits the Low Down but PMS gets the referee’s attention. Bossman Slam ends this quick.

Mark Henry comes out for the save post match.

Pat Patterson hits on Texas women. Vince says he’s found Austin.

Here’s Blue Meanie for an audition to see if a male dance review will go over on cable TV. I am dead serious. Goldust jumps him and hits Shattered Dreams on him.

Henry tries to tell Brown that he can’t keep doing this. The doctor tells Henry that Terri was never pregnant.

Darren Drozdov vs. Kurrgan

Droz turned heel last week and beat up the Oddities’ friend George Steele. Kurrgan fights him back with power and hits a side slam for two. A splash in the corner puts Droz down and he gets clotheslined to the floor. Droz hits Kurrgan with a stick of some sort from under the ring and wins with a top rope shoulder.

Droz beats him down post match until the other Oddities make the save.

Vince and the Stooges have some chili at a place Austin frequents.

Undertaker/Mideon/Viscera vs. Edge/Christian/Gangrel

Taker is sitting on a throne at the entrance so this is 3-2 for awhile. Mideon and Gangrel start us off and Gangrel is backdropped. Here’s Viscera who has recently been added to the Ministry. A rolling heel kick kills Gangrel so the brothers come in to try to help him out. The three of them manage to take Mideon down but the Acolytes run in for the DQ.

Officials come down but the Brood throws them out. They ask for more punishment which they receive. Gangrel is hung.

Mankind gives Debra a sweater.

Clips of Halftime Heat last night.

Here’s Mankind for his official introduction as the champion. He briefly talks about how fun it is to be champion when Rock is here. Rock talks about how he’s the real champion and how he lost the title with all of Mankind’s conditions in play. He wants his $97,000 back. Mankind says it’s more like $72,000 now. Apparently Foley said that if Rock gave him the empty arena match, he’d give him the money back. But he’s changed his mind so he won’t give it back. Ok then. Rock wants a last man standing match for a rematch and Mankind says deal. This was really low key and not the best exchange they’ve ever had.

The Super Bowl commercial is talked about again and we get the spoof of it, which is the exact opposite of what they had before. For instance, Sable says they always use sex to enhance the show as opposed to the original where they say they never do. It’s a lot funnier than it sounds.

Vince thinks he’s found Austin in a pawn shop. He tells the Stooges to jump him as he comes in while Vince gets the car. And it’s not him but rather a Texan with a gun. Austin is at a bar apparently.

Al Snow/Road Dogg vs. Acolytes

Roadie is Hardcore Champion if you’re looking for an explanation for the pairing. The brawl starts on the ramp and it’s a hardcore match. Snow has a table rammed into his head and this is a big mess from the bell. Bradshaw throws in the steps and Road Dogg has a pencil. Snow and Farrooq fight into the crowd and the others join them. They fight to a concession stand and Snow goes into a barricade. They head outside and Snow hammers on Farrooq who has a garbage can over his head. Roadie and Bradshaw have a table in the ring while Viscera appears in the back to slam Snow. Bradshaw powerbomb Dogg for the pin.

Rating: C. Fun match but the ending was exactly what you would expect it to be. These matches are for fun for the most part and the thrown together team did a lot better than you would have expected them to do for the most part. The Acolytes were still getting the hang of what they were doing.

The Ministry comes out to beat on Roadie, including three druids. Taker comes out and has them unveiled, showing them as the Brood.

Road Dogg wants to know where Snow was. Snow wants to know where Road Dogg was. Roadie hits him with a chair.

The cage is lowered.

Vince finds the real Austin. Vince talks trash and Austin says he isn’t going to hit him until St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. McMahon says he doesn’t like being here with these kind of people. Austin tells “these kind of people” to make sure Vince has a good time after Austin leaves.

HHH vs. Kane

In a cage. HHH isn’t happy with Chyna who he tells to suck it even though she’s in the back. This is escape only I believe. There’s no referee in there so it must be. Kane takes over and the fire goes out of the corners. That didn’t seem 100% planned. The red lights are on too. The lights go normal again as HHH is rammed into the cage. Trips dives for the door but Kane makes a save.

He tries it again and there’s a chair on the outside. I’ll bet that comes into play later. Kane goes up top but the clothesline misses. HHH goes for the door for the third time and Kane saves, but just as I expected the chair is brought into play. It goes onto Kane’s head and the jumping knee puts him down. HHH has the momentum and gets his feet up to stop a charging Kane.

Kane uppercuts him down though and starts to climb. HHH makes the save in a pretty impressive looking fall. They both go up and Kane tries to chokeslam him off the top but gets crotched instead. Pedigree is countered by a backdrop which is followed by the chokeslam. Pac comes out and slams the cage door onto Kane’s head as he tries to escape but Kane still gets up first. Pac climbs up to stop him as HHH climbs the other corner. Chyna comes in to try and interfere to no avail as HHH escapes for the win.

Rating: C+. This set up a tag match at the PPV which I don’t remember in the slightest. The match itself was pretty solid though with these two working well together. Somehow three of these people (not X-Pac) would manage to turn four times within a week with three of those coming at Wrestlemania alone, resulting in a total role reversal.

Chyna promises to end this with HHH at the PPV.

Overall Rating: C-. This show is one that is going to be hit or miss for a lot of people. If you like this era, you’ll like this show but if you don’t then you’re not going to be all that thrilled. It’s ok and the main event is good, but the wrestling other than that is totally worthless as the matches are either really short or there to set up the angles post match. Not terrible, but not there for the fans of in ring actions.

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Monday Night Raw – July 16, 2001: The Old Stone Cold Is Back. For Six Days.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2001
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole

This is the go home show for Invasion and the idea is that Team WWF has no real leader. Vince begged with Austin to be the old Stone Cole instead of the hilarious one he’s been lately. The Alliance has officially been formed and we’re getting ready for the Inaugural Brawl on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Smackdown with Vince asking Austin to be the old Stone Cole again. He begged Austin to beat him up but Austin shook his head no, walked up the ramp, and left. Vince yelled back at Austin to come back and stun him, ala Shane (the movie, not the kid).

Austin is at the Friendly Tap here in Providence instead of at the arena.

Taker/Kane vs. Page/Rhyno is the main event.

Here’s Spike on crutches to open the show with a major announcement. He’s got something that’s been building in him for awhile and would like Molly to come out here. The announcement is that he loves her. She loves him too. Spike gives her a rose and Molly says she has something for him too but she can’t give it to him here. Spike: “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you and good night!”

Cue Heyman to interrupt the live sex celebration. Heyman says Spike needs to join ECW before this gets insane. Go to the penthouse suite and take care of things with Molly then come to the ECW offices. ECW has offices? Spike declines and says he’s staying with Molly. There’s a place in ECW for Molly too. It’ll only take some liposuction and breast implants.

Spike defends Molly but the Dudleys come out to stop that. Bubba says Spike cost them the tag belts and accuses him of stealing their spotlight. People should be talking about ECW but they’re talking about Spike and Molly. D-Von jumps him and tie him in the ropes. Molly tries to fight back but winds up going through a table.

Angle is practicing his speech to Vince to offer his services as leader of Team WWF on Sunday. Vince comes in and Angle mentions that Austin is at the Friendly Tap. He pitches his idea of leading Team WWF and Vince doesn’t even acknowledge it.

Farrooq vs. Chuck Palumbo

Cole is already screwing things up as he says this is a tag match. O’Haire and Bradshaw are here and these four are the WCW and WWF tag champions. Palumbo charges into the ring and takes over to start but Farrooq pounds him down. The tag teams will meet on Sunday at Invasion in a non-title match. A dropkick puts Farrooq on the floor and Palumbo adds a baseball slide. O’Haire gets involved and eats some steps due to Bradshaw. DDT gets two for Palumbo. Farrooq hits a spinebuster but O’Haire distracts him, allowing the superkick from Palumbo to get the pin. That might be the first Alliance win that was almost clean.

Angle complains to Steve Lombardi that he should be the leader. He calls him Bomber to be funny. Kurt: “I can be extreme. I drank milk the day after it expired once.” Raven comes in and says Kurt isn’t extreme. Angle says Raven isn’t missed so Raven does some of his poetry. Angle asks what most people ask when they hear a Raven promo: what are you talking about? Anyway it’s Raven vs. Angle later, ECW rules. Angle: “WWF rules pal!” Angle was awesome in this role.

Mike Awesome vs. Edge

Before the match, Storm issues a challenge for Invasion between the two of them vs. Edge/Christian. Storm will have no more of these offbeat shenanigans! Five points for working shenanigans in. Here are the Canadians and Christian says Holy Jurassic Park, we’ve actually found a living, breathing Reekasaurus Rex. The tag match is made and offbeat shenanigans RULE!

Awesome controls to start and splashes him into the corner. Edge comes back with a clothesline and neckbreaker for two. Awesome takes it to the floor and rams Edge into the apron. Back in Edge gets his knees up and fires off some dropkicks. Awesome Bomb is countered into the Buzzkiller (Edgecution) but Storm puts the foot on the rope. Storm comes in and is easily dispatched. Christian brings in chairs for a Conchairto but as the referee gets rid of them, Storm superkicks Edge and Awesome gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Eh not bad but the Alliance guys still can’t get a clean win no matter what they do. This is the problem that they had for the entire run of the angle: there’s no reason to assume that the WWF was ever in any real danger because they never got beaten clean at all. Eventually someone competent would beat WCW/ECW (not yet called the Alliance actually) so why get worried?

On a related note, Cole says the WWF is 0-3 tonight. After two matches. I don’t even need to make fun of him anymore.

Stephanie, with her horrible braided hair, praises Booker for how awesome he is. Jericho comes in and makes Seinfeld references with Steph. He calls her a w**** so Booker gets in his face. They fight for the WCW Title tonight.

Regal fires up Tajiri for Regal’s match tonight with Tazz. Not sure how that works but whatever. Tajiri will be doing commentary. This should be good.

Stephanie talks to the other parts of the Triad of Terror (Shane/Heyman) about Booker’s match tonight. They announce Team Alliance for Sunday: Booker, DDP, Dudleys and Rhyno. So we have Booker, a tag team that lost to the APA, a guy that has gotten mauled by Undertaker every time it’s been fair, and a lackey to a tag team against the five best the WWF has to offer. SMELL THE BUYRATE!!!

Vince comes to the Friendly Tap, which appears to be totally empty other than Austin, Vince and Debra. He apologizes to Austin for what he asked on Thursday but he still needs Austin tonight. Austin keeps drinking and turns his back on Vince. Vince says he’s heading back tot he arena and hopes to see Austin there tonight.

Tazz vs. William Regal

Tajiri is on commentary. Apparently he did this on Smackdown as well. The brawl starts on the floor but heads inside quickly. Knee Trembler puts Tazz down but Tazz comes back with a suplex. This draws Tajiri into the ring for a showdown. Tajiri says wait and takes his shirt off to reveal an ECW one underneath. Regal is shocked…..and then Tajiri turns AGAIN, breaking Chyna’s record for time between turns. He kicks Tazz in the head and puts him in the Tarantula. That makes ECWCW 3-0 tonight, or 17-0 if you’re Michael Cole. Good to see they didn’t do the face turn at the PPV or anything like that. We HAD to do it immediately.

DDP gives Rhyno a Best of Sara tape for the Alliance to watch.

Tim White talks to Austin and says he closed the whole bar for him today. That explains a few things. White says he knows Austin will make the right decision.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Chris Jericho

JR calls Booker a sellout. How is he a sellout exactly? He’s working for the company that made him famous. Feeling out process to start and the springboard dropkick sends Booker to the outside. Baseball slide sends Booker flying and they fight on the floor a bit. Back in a top rope cross body gets two for Chris. Booker comes back with the spinwheel kick as the announcers talk about how much they need Austin.

Jericho comes back with something kind of like a spear to set up the Walls but Shane comes up for the distraction. Booker superkicks the Canadian for two. Alabama Slam (called a powerbomb by Cole) gets two. Booker hooks a chinlock but Jericho quickly breaks it and hits a flapjack to put everyone down. Jericho chops away and a middle rope dropkick gets two. It should be three but Nick Patrick’s shoulder is bothering him.

Jericho tries the Lionsault but Booker rolls away. Chris lands on his feet and avoids the axe kick. There are the Walls and Booker taps but Nick Patrick has a knee injury this time. Earl Hebner comes in and decks Patrick. He sees the tap and goes to call for the bell but Shane hits him. The distraction lets Booker get a fast rollup with a fast count from Patrick to keep the belt in WCW.

Rating: B-. Fun match but again the ending hurts it. Jericho and Booker should be out there having 20 minute wars instead of these things to build up to a referees’ match on Sunday. That might be interesting though so we can’t have that. Anyway, good match between talented people so there’s no surprise here.

Heyman talks to Saturn in the back and offers him a spot in the Alliance. Saturn says Snausages.

Raven vs. Kurt Angle

This is under ECW Rules, meaning street fight/hardcore. Angle spears him down immediately to make him drop whatever Raven has in his hand. Kurt hits him with the medals. That’s a new one. Raven comes back with a drop toehold onto a trashcan (doesn’t dent) for two. Angle pounds him down and rips Raven’s shirt off to choke him. Sign to the head sets up a trashcan to the head and a few to the back. Raven counters into the clothesline and bulldog out of the corner (basically stolen by Punk) but Kurt breaks it with ease. Angle Slam and Ankle Lock end this. Total squash.

Angle destroys Raven post match with various evil submissions until Justin Credible, Kanyon and some other guy run out. They get cleared out without landing a single punch by a chair from Kurt. The one major bright spot in this story: it made Angle look like a STAR.

Austin shoots pool.

Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

Welcome to a game of HOW MANY TIMES CAN THESE TEAMS POSSIBLY FIGHT???? Matt is European Champion and Jeff is Hardcore Champion. Trish (dating Jeff I think) and Lita stay in the back, prompting a WE WANT LITA chant. Matt and D-Von start us off with Matt keeping control. Jeff comes in and gets taken down very quickly by the other brothers.

Bubba gets two off an elbow drop. Double flapjack puts Jeff down and it’s D-Von again. Matt offers a quick distraction so Jeff can punch Ray in the balls. It allows the hot tag to Matt and everything breaks down. Twist/Swanton combo gets two on D-Von as Ray saves. Matt tries a sunset flip but RVD comes in and holds D-Von’s arms as he goes down for the pin on Matt.

Rating: C-. Picture any Hardys vs. Dudleys match. This one wasn’t as good as whichever one you picked. In short, this feud has been PLAYED. They had the same three teams feuding in some combination or the other for over a year and a half. The same thing happened in the main event with HHH, Rock and Austin dominating everything for almost two years. People got tired of it which is why things died off.

Five Star to Jeff.

The APA isn’t happy and Vince wants to know what they’re going to do about it. Vince says that since Austin won’t be here, the rest of them have to.

Shane and Stephanie say that they’ve sold their stock to finance the Invasion. Therefore, DON’T SCREW UP. Heyman gives his usual speech which fires people up.

The APA, Taker and Vince give a speech to the WWF C Team. Taker says screw Austin so let’s do it ourselves. Angle is in there too so it’s not totally the C Team. They actually wheel in FREDDIE BLASSIE to give them a big pep talk. Does anyone actually buy that it’s this serious of a threat from a bunch of WCW jobbers and 1-2 big names?

Austin watches from the bar and leaves.

Trish Stratus vs. Terri

Terri slaps her to start but can’t handle walking so Trish giant swings her. I’m sure this match is happening for competition rather than to see Terri in a skin colored bikini right? A bulldog by Trish ends this if you’re curious.

Trish goes to strip her post match when Stacy and Torrie run in. Lita makes the save.

Diamond Dallas Page/Rhyno vs. Undertaker/Kane

The Brothers clear the ring early on. Kane and Rhyno officially get us going and the horny one takes a powerslam. This is one of those matches where everyone hits high power and high impact stuff from the bell. Taker comes in to knock Rhyno around a lot. Old School sends Rhyno to the floor and it breaks down even more. The Brothers beat on them even more and here are the Dudleys. I’m not going to bother rating it because it was far more of a brawl than a match.

Team ECWCW beats on them until Team WWF plus a bunch of guys come out. It turns into a huge battle royal and there’s another part in the parking lot. Austin is here! He beats up everyone with the pool cue but doesn’t touch the WWF guys. The ECWCW guys start to clear the ring but CUE GLASS SHATTER! Austin walks in and he clears house. He hits about ten Stunners and the Brothers are up again.

Shane and Stephanie find Blassie in the back and tell him he’ll be dead soon, just like the WWF. Gee, nice of you guys to end the show with THAT instead of Austin standing tall.

Overall Rating: D+. Where do I even begin? First and foremost, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT TO BUY INVASION NOW??? Austin and Team WWF just destroyed Team WCW plus about ten other guys like it was nothing. We’re led to believe that the WWF is unbeatable which is saying a lot considering they’re outnumbered in this.

This is the Invasion in a nutshell: the WWF looks awesome, the Alliance can’t do jack, so they pick off some WWF guys who can fight for them. With what was available, why in the world would you do this? Heaven forbid that WCW looks even slightly better than WWF for 5 seconds. We can’t have that. I mean, it might make us a billion dollars.

Here’s Invasion if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw – July 20, 1998 – Austin Fights Monsters!

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 20, 1998
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Fully Loaded and that means we’re six weeks from Summerslam. That’s really all that matters at the end of the day, because this PPV certainly didn’t. There are two more Brawl For All matches because someone hates me. We also have a title match and a title change which I have a story about. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince to open the show. He says he wants to talk about what happened when Taker became #1 contender. We get a clip of Undertaker dressing up as Kane, which makes Vince wonder where Kane was and where Undertaker got that outfit. Last week he asked and was given no answer. Now we get a clip of the ending of last week’s show where Undertaker saves the pinfall on Kane. We also get clips of the brawl to end the show.

Vince calls Taker out and wants to know what’s going on. He blasts the dead man for thinking he can do everything on his own and that he won’t take the disrespect anymore. Undertaker still won’t answer if he’s with Kane or not. Since he won’t answer, Vince makes it him vs. Kane/Mankind tonight. Before Taker leaves, Vince tries to tell Taker where to go but it’s a chokeslam instead. The Stooges come out and are beaten up too.

European Title: D’Lo Brown vs. HHH

Brown takes over early on but HHH takes him down with a quick clothesline. Rock is watching from ringside. Trips ducks his head and takes a kick to the face. Pedigree is countered but HHH clotheslines Brown to the outside. He gets in Chyna’s face and has his blocked knocked off. Back in D’Lo takes over for a few moments but HHH hits the jumping knee to the face to take over. Suplex by the Game looks to set up the knee drop but Rock trips Trips. Chyna takes care of Rock as HHH hits a powerslam. Henry comes out and Chyna meets him with a chair. Rock comes in with a Rock Bottom and D’Lo wins the title.

Rating: C-. Quick story about this match. This show was taped on the 14th. Sometime over the weekend I went to a house show where Brown was already acknowledged as champion. Based on that, I already knew that HHH was going to lose the title when this show aired. That’s probably my first experience with a spoiler. The match was nothing of note at all but it advanced the DX vs. Nation feud.

The Nation celebrates the title win.

Sunday Night Heat is coming.

Brawl For All First Round: Quebecer Pierre vs. Steve Williams

Doc destroys him and the referee calls it with seven seconds to go.

We get a clip from Val’s movie last week with Yamaguchi-san’s wife.

In the arena, Yamaguchi says that his wife is going to be punished. He treats his wife like a slave and she has to crawl through his legs and get paddled. Val runs in to make the save and leaves with Yamaguchi’s wife.

Animal vs. Skull

Oh dear. There’s no Hawk. Animal won’t get in the ring when it’s 3-1 but the DOA comes after him. Animal goes into the steps and beaten down. No match. Ellering tries to run over Animal with the motorcycle but Hawk makes the save. He gets beaten down also and the DOA stand tall as well as bald.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman sees that he’s up against four guys so he goes to the back and comes back with Shamrock and Severn. Blackman takes him down quickly and hits a backbreaker for two. Shoulder block gets the same. A middle rope headbutt misses so Jarrett goes for the leg. Blackman kicks it off and the bicycle kick ends this. Basically a squash.

Owen runs out and sends Shamrock into the steps then runs back into the crowd.

Taker has his stuff with him and is walking out.

Cole says Taker has left. He said he’ll see us Sunday.

Here’s Austin for an interview with JR. Austin throws JR out quickly and says he wants to know which side Undertaker is on this Sunday. Vince comes out and talks about screwing, so it’s Austin taking Vince’s place tonight. Austin says there’s no point to it so he’s not fighting. Vince says if Austin doesn’t do it then Taker gets the title without a match. Austin says after he beats the monsters, Vince is next.

We get a clip from last week of Jason Sensation. That Shawn impression is scary good.

Owen Hart vs. Farrooq

Farrooq tries a quick backbreaker but Owen slips down the back and speeds things up to take control. Owen hooks a Boston Crab as this has been much closer to a squash than you would expect. Owen beats him down and grabs a mic to tell the fans he is not a nugget. Enziguri gets two. A powerslam by Farrooq gets two but Owen comes back with a missile dropkick. Farrooq actually goes up but gets crotched, setting up the Sharpshooter for the quick tap.

Rating: D+. I didn’t exactly expect a squash here. It’s not a terrible match but it being a squash was very surprising. Farrooq wouldn’t do much until forming the Acolytes (called Hell’s Henchmen at the time) with Bradshaw later in the year. Owen looked good here and would have a Dungeon Match on Sunday with Shamrock.

Shamrock runs out post match and chases Owen through the crowd.

Bearer won’t quite say whose side Taker is on. Mankind says kicking Austin in the teeth gives him pleasure.

Here are Mero and Jackie. Jackie trash talks Sable and offers her a chance to come out here and forfeit the bikini contest. Sable comes out in a maternity dress. She takes it off to reveal a bikini. Since she’s been in Playboy, this doesn’t do much. Edge comes in through the crowd and hits Mero with a Downward Spiral.

HBK comes out for commentary again.

They finally come to their senses and just show highlights of 8-Ball and Scorpio’s Brawl For All. Scorpio wins by decision.

The Nations says Rock will keep the title.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. X-Pac

DX runs in and a big brawl starts. We take a break and come back with the bell ringing. Chyna comes out as the only person at ringside. It’s power vs. speed here which isn’t something you often see with Rock. He’s a big guy but he’s never been one to use power to excess. Rock takes X-Pac down but Pac comes back with right hands. He speeds things up but Rock LAUNCHES him in a release hot shot which sends Pac to the floor.

Samoan Drop gets two as does a swinging neckbreaker. A quick chinlock sets up the People’s Elbow which only gets two. Pac grabs an X-Factor out of nowhere but he’s too spent to cover immediately. Bronco Buster hits but Pac charges into a powerslam for two. X-Pac throws him to the floor and grabs his knee to distract the referee. Chyna hits Rock with the title which gets a VERY close two. Rock’s clothesline misses and down goes the referee. A spin kick sends Rock down but here are D-Lo and HHH. HHH Pedigrees Rock after crotching Rock but a second referee runs out to say what he saw and it’s a DQ.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty rocking match before the overbooked ending. These Nation vs. DX brawls happened every week and it was cool to see a feud like this getting time, but I was hoping to see an ending to that match. Rock is a guy that isn’t big enough to make Pac’s offense look ridiculous, which means the match is a lot better. Fun stuff.

DX and the Nation get pulled apart again. The Nation is pulled to the floor and HHH gets a hot girl in the crowd to flash him. In other news, Jerry Lawler has volunteered to serve HHH for the rest of his life.

Kane/Mankind vs. Steve Austin

Austin hits Mankind with the title on the way to the ring. The tag champions don’t have to tag. Vince is watching in the back and is pleased. Austin manages to clothesline Kane to the floor and sends him into the steps. Back in a clothesline gets two on Mankind. He gets caught in the Claw though and they stumble to the floor.

Austin rams Mankind into the post but Kane is back up again. Back in and Austin hits the Thesz Press but Mankind pulls him to the floor. Back in again and a Stunner to Kane is countered. Here comes Undertaker with a chair. Mankind is now on the apron in a corner so maybe they do have to tag? Taker is in Austin’s corner and it’s back to Mankind. Foley hits Austin with a chair on the outside but his running knee in the corner misses. Austin grabs a Stunner to Mankind but Kane makes the save.

Kane tries the chokeslam but Austin kicks him low to escape. Taker pulls the chair up and swings it down but it hits Kane. Taker looks annoyed but it’s hard to say. Austin hits them all with the chair to end the show. If it wasn’t announced already, the match on Sunday is for the titles.

Rating: C+. All things considered, this was pretty entertaining stuff. The idea of Austin having to fight everyone on the planet at once was a good idea because that’s what he was best at: wild brawls that resulted in him being able to hang in there. The ending adds even more questions to the title match on Sunday, which is what the whole thing is built around.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one better than last week’s as the idea here was to have the PPV pushed even harder, which they certainly did. If you add that to one of the Brawl for All matches being clipped to highlights, there wasn’t much wrong on this show at all. It’s not great, but it did what it needed to do which is all you can ask for most of the time.

Here’s Fully Loaded if you’re interested:




Fully Loaded 1998 – Just A Stop Before We Get To Summerslam

In Your House 23: Fully Loaded
Date: July 26, 1998
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,855
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

So King of the Ring has come and gone and as I’ve gone over, we know what the double main event was and I’m sure you all know what happened in those matches so I’ll spare you the details. Ken Shamrock is your new king and that went absolutely nowhere. Not a lot really happened other than the main events but the Raws were the big deal for your buildup here. The main thing going on at the time was Austin feuding with just about everyone with Taker slowly becoming a tweener.

Your main event is Austin and Taker trying to get the tag titles from the new champions Kane and mankind. It was all leading up to the big feud with Taker and Kane against Austin, eventually being revealed as being masterminded by Vince himself. In reality, this show was more of a catalyst than a big show, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Let’s see if it is or not.

Oh I almost forgot: a guy that walked the streets and subways, screaming because he was bordering on being completely psychotic and beating up random people had debuted about a month before this. His name was a strange one: Edge.

The intro more or less just talks about how Austin has been facing everyone and somehow still has the title. Nothing special here at all but it gets the job done I suppose.

Val Venis vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett now has the Godwinns, now known as Southern Justice, as his bodyguards. Venis was controversial to say the least as he is likely the most envelope pushing character in company history as he jumped WAY over the line many times. However, he was a very  good wrestler that is often overlooked. Kaientai of all people come to the ring with their boss doing commentary and clearly doing an impression of a Japanese accent.

Their feud was over his wife sleeping with Val and appearing in one of his “videos.” This would end up with Val allegedly being castrated on Raw which was freaking creepy at the time and actually ended the show which was odd indeed. It also involved Taka turning heel and completely killing the division. Jarrett hits a DDT and the comments are great from both guys.

Ross says that anyone would go limp from that, which Lawler says he planted him like a geranium. What kind of a comparison is that? Venis really was underrated in the ring. He’s got a nice variety of offense which is a rare thing to see and he rarely made any noticeable mistakes. Apparently Austin thinks Taker is going to turn on him and that it’ll be 3-1 in the main event.

Val eventually wins it with a roll up as Yamaguchi continues to say that he’ll never be the same after Raw tomorrow. He’s really short so he gets a lot of jokes for that. Val gets on the mic and says that Yamaguchi is small and his wife says so.

Rating: B. This was a very decent match as both guys can really go in the ring when they’re given the chance. Val was the hot shot rookie and he showed why he was here. He had a nice variety of offense, a very unique gimmick a good look, size, strength and agility. Put him in there with a good technician like Jarrett and how could this be bad?

We see a shot of the Hart Family Dungeon where there will be a match tonight.

D’lo Brown vs. X-Pac

This is just a continuation of the DX/NOD feud but the real match would have been later tonight between Rock and HHH in an Iron Man match. Brown beat HHH for the European Title on Monday for no apparent reason as the Iron Man was supposed to be title vs. title. I was at a house show the Friday before that Raw so 10 days before this where D’lo was already billed as champion despite not winning the title until three days later.

Kama is now the Godfather of the Nation and is dressing like a pimp. This is non title for no good reason. There’s a bikini contest tonight with Sable and Jackie so King simply will not shut up about it. Other than that, this match is painfully boring. I can’t stand X-Pac but this is just bad no matter who is in it. The crowd is completely dead and in a ten minute match you should not need three rest holds. Godfather interferes and D’Lo hits the Sky High for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a very boring match. It wasn’t any good at all and while I can’t put the blame on either guy more than the other, I’m going to blame X-Pac because I hate that little bastard. This really was just a bad match and the non-title didn’t help it. It just gave us even less of a reason to care here so why should this be any good at all?

Apparently the Undertaker isn’t here yet.

Farrooq/Scorpio vs. Terry Funk/Bradshaw

Anyone that can find the point to this match will receive a free ham sandwich. As the other team heads to the ring, Funk says that this will be his last match in the WWF for at least six months, thereby ticking off Bradshaw. From what I can find, this wasn’t actually told to Bradshaw until just then so his reaction was legit. It pretty much left him without anything to do but he and Farrooq would join up around November.

The amazing part is that Funk actually did leave after this and wasn’t seen on a mainstream show until he showed up in WCW about two years later. The main thing here is all about Taker not showing up yet and Funk leaving soon. Other than that, this match is bad. The fans agree apparently as they start the boring chant which is actually acknowledged.

It’s just nothing of note at all here with a powerslam by Farrooq when Bradshaw jumps from the ropes being the only thing decent at all. Funk won’t tag out and in the big brawl Scorpio pins him after a 450. Bradshaw then beats all three of them up as he turns heel.

Rating: D. This was just bland as heck and no one was interested at all. It would have been fine on Raw I guess, but this had no business being on a PPV. The wrestling wasn’t that good, there was no story or build and no one really seemed to care that a 54 year old man was leaving. Can you blame them really?

Vader vs. Mark Henry

Apparently they had a tug of war or something on Shotgun Saturday Night which is a show I should review in a lot more detail someday. I just do not get what Vince’s problem is. Mark Henry is described by JR as still being raw and a rookie when he’s been in the company and a professional for over two years at this point. Vader has been a three time world champion in WCW.

The crowd is chanting VADER for the majority of the match. So how does the booking go of course? Henry gets his head handed to him for the majority of the match and hits two moves to win it. He kicks out of a move that more or less is the Vader Bomb, hits a bad powerslam and a splash to win it. WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM VINCE MCMAHON???

Why in the world would you not push a guy like Vader but have Mark freaking Henry still be a big deal? It’s been 13 years and he’s the same worker he was back then. Why in the world was he kept around when he gets hurt every five minutes while Vader is getting cheers but can’t keep a job?

Vader is clearly getting in better shape too as he’s visibly not as fat but more muscular and maybe a hair faster, while Henry’s chest looks rather horrible. Seriously, Vince needs to get his head some fresh air.

Rating: C. Vader of course does all the work and makes Henry’s level of suck reach only that of a vacuum and not a tornado. Henry botched a slam at the beginning of this match. Do you realize how difficult it is to botch a slam? It’s the most basic move there is after a punch. The sad thing is he could still botch it today and likely has. This just had me shaking my head and making me a bit angry. There was no sense at all to do this to Vader.

The Outlaws say they’ll be watching this next match closely.

LOD vs. DOA

Dang was there a spelling bee coming up with all of these abbreviations or something? Anyway, this is the convergence of two storylines in one as Paul Ellering, LOD’s mentor and the only person that’s ever been able to control them left them for the DOA a few weeks ago.

This was combined with the beginning of Hawk’s alcoholism storyline which evolved into a drug problem which evolved into him falling off of the top of the big screen one night which evolved into a storyline that a lot of people got a bad taste in their mouths because of. It just never felt right. Once again, Vince runs down another very over team in exchange for a copy of them, in this case the DOA. Anyway, this one is short and we don’t really see any effect of Hawk’s “condition.”

It’s fast for the most part with a standard tag team formula of faces dominate, heels take over, hot tag, finish. There’s nothing wrong with that and it works pretty well here. Animal even uses a dropkick and a pretty good one at that. He always was the more polished of the two. Anyway, the finish here is fairly simple: switch after the Doomsday Device leads to the pin. The main thing here was DOA’s manager being crazy according to Ross, but he really just acts like a normal heel manager. There’s nothing really all that crazy about him when you watch this match, so I guess there was a promo or something like that where his craziness was more explained. Either way, this was what you would expect from two teams like this.

Rating: B. Not bad but given the four guys out there, this was as good as it was going to get. Hawk gets beat up, tags Animal who cleans house, and then since the LOD was dominant in the 80s, Vince says screw you to the fans and pushes another team to the moon who never did anything in the company.

Dungeon Match: Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock

This is in the famous Hart Family Dungeon for absolutely no reason at all. In something else that there’s no point to, Dan Severn, Shamrock’s UFC rival is the referee. He wrestled as the NWA Champion forever and has a four year reign to his credit, but it was during the time when the company was completely dead. He was at an MMA tournament in Japan when he was called on to defend the title at a PPV called TNA.

He had to forfeit and Shamrock became the first TNA Champion. Anyway, Owen and Shamrock are apparently feuding so we’re having a match in Owen’s basement. This seriously looks like a homemade wrestling project that would be thrown on YouTube or something. Severn just leaning against the window when Shamrock makes his entrance amuses me for some reason. Anyway, this is submission only.

This looks dangerously close to a shoot with how hard they’re hitting each other in there. You get some very stiff shots into the wooden walls and they use the water pipe to get in the air. I’m really not sure if this is terrible or awesome. Anyway, they beat on each other for a bit until Owen, and I wish I was making this up, lifts Shamrock into the air and his head goes through the ceiling.

Anyone else thing that just sounds funny? Anyway, they brawl a bit more but Shamrock kicks Severn in the head, allowing Owen to grab a dumbbell and smash Shamrock in the head. He locks on a crossface and then taps Shamrock for him as Severn is waking up to declare Owen the winner. Owen goes through the dungeon (which is one room) and into the garage to leave. This didn’t last five minutes.

Rating: C. I gave it a C because I have no idea what to say about this. It was a cross between wrestling, UFC and backyard fighting. The whole thing was meant I think as just a way to have a novelty but it was somewhere in between sweet and terrible. Really just a weird thing.

In the back, Vince says that he has a replacement partner in case Taker doesn’t show up: Brooklyn Brawler.

Recap of HHH vs. Rock, which was supposed to be title for title as previously mentioned.

IC Title: HHH vs. Rock

This is two out of three falls. One thing I’ve never liked about 2/3 falls: pretty much whoever wins the first fall should be the champion shouldn’t they, at least if it’s by pin or submission? I mean, they beat the champion in a title match in a way by which the title can change hands. Also, for some reason I love HHH’s tights here.

This is yet again a match where DX and the Nation are there and have no real point of being there other than to act as a bunch of seconds. After the 37 other people clear out of the ring it’s time to get going. Slaughter sends off a bunch of people and only lets Chyna stay out there because she has a legit manager’s license. I’d love to take that test.

Crotch chop by HHH and it’s on. We have a thirty minute time limit which is likely going to come into play here. Chyna drills Rock behind the referee’s back as you can tell they’re in for a long one here. We brawl up the aisle a bit and HHH controls. Jerry asks an interesting question: if they’re both counted out is that one fall apiece or just the first fall?

Game gets sent into the steps and Rock starts dominating. The fans think Rocky Sucks. Back in the ring the momentum changes again. These two are far better at emitting emotion in a match than most guys are today. You get the feeling that this could end at anytime rather than just killing time until the finish.

With Rock distracting the referee Mark Henry comes down and splashes HHH. Billy Gunn comes out for the save and Henry heads to the back. Rock gets a belt shot for two. We hit a chinlock as Rock gets to run some time off. All Rock at this point. Dang Rock looks like he’s roided up something huge here. I mean he’s always been a big guy but he looks muscular here.

Back to that chinlock as we’re probably about 15 minutes into this. HHH gets some comeback offense in and hits the knee to the face. Rock grabs him and throws him at the top rope for a hot shot. Here comes Godfather but the Outlaws run out before he can even make it to the mats at ringside.

Rock keeps shoving the referee but it’s a distraction so that D’Lo can come in with the European Title but HHH stops him. He walks into a Rock Bottom to make it 1-0 Rock though. We have a one minute rest period now. Rock beats him up for awhile but gets sent into the railing. He pops off of that and KILLS Rock with a clothesline.

People’s Elbow hits as Brown is getting back up for two. HHH gets a big clothesline and both guys are down. We’re under 10 minutes to go here and Brown is getting back up. Chyna takes him out and while she’s being reprimanded, X-Pac runs down for an X Factor for two. Rock brings in a chair but accidentally pops the referee with it.

With no referee Chyna runs in for a low blow and a DDT on a chair. You might notice the high level of the term RUN-IN here. That evens us at one fall with about 5 minutes to go. After the rest period other referees have come out to help their fallen official so there’s no referee there. We only have two minutes left.

HHH gets all fired up as Hebner is here now. Facebuster sets up the 6th crotch chop and a big clothesline for two at a minute left. Samoan Drop puts HHH down for two as they were moving there for a bit.

They slug it out and Rock sets for the Rock Bottom but HHH counters into a SWEET Pedigree as the time is up. Oh man the fans are not happy. The Nation and DX come out for the big beatdown. HHH would get one last shot at the title in August at Summerslam and to say it blows this away is an understatement.

Rating: C+. I HATE the ending here. Who in the world books a 2/3 falls match to end in a time limit? That makes absolutely no sense at all to me. They’re getting close to the big blowoff to this match next month which is light years ahead of this, so this was fine I guess. It kept us from having a definitive end to the feud and it makes HHH’s win next month all the sweeter because we now know he can beat the Rock.

The main issue here is the amount of run-ins. Everybody comes in and the announcement of the time limit at the start more or less gave it away. This feud was the one that made both of these guys stars but it is NOTHING compared to what they would do two years later. I can’t wait to get to that iron man match.

Bikini Contest: Sable vs. Jackie

See, I told you Sable would be back. Before this starts, Dustin Rhodes comes out and leads us in a prayer, asking for forgiveness for those that watch what’s coming. This was a really weird period in his career that he was more or less a preacher. He would eventually start saying He is coming back, inferring Jesus but of course meaning Goldust.

Lawler is your moderator of this. Jackie is the annoying woman that allegedly is hot but no one else has ever seemed to see that in her. She’s with Mero now and no one could care less. She’s in a robe, Sable is in a t-shirt. Jackie goes first and has a red one piece on that’s more or less a pair of suspenders. Definite nip slip here as it’s easily visible and she covers it up after she’s done dancing badly.

Sable takes hers off and has on a half shirt and a thong. She says that Vince, who apparently is the way she got back into the company, said she should wear something more conservative. I think that was supposed to be a kind of sleeping with the boss story or at least an implied one but nothing ever came of it.

Anyway, she says it’s live TV and there’s nothing Vince can do so she pulls her half shirt off to reveal painted handprints with pasties over the nipples. Of course she wins and of course Vince comes and covers her up with his coat. The next night they reversed it, saying that wasn’t a bikini because we have to waste some time on all Raws.

Rating: F. This was freaking stupid and not even a decent contest. This was just bad.

Recap of the main event feud that is complicated to say the least. It was Russo’s magnum opus as it was a year long storyline that culminated with the swerve to end all swerves as Vince goes so far as to terrorize his own family due to his obsession with making Austin’s life a nightmare.

That would come later though as at the moment the main story was that Vince, Taker and Kane were part of a conspiracy against Austin. This started because Austin hit Taker with a chair by mistake when Taker was trying to help Austin against Kane and Mankind. After that Taker was seen going into his own locker room with Kane standing in it. That led to the theory that Taker was in on it.

Tag Titles: Taker/Austin vs. Mankind/Kane

The heels won the titles from the Outlaws on Raw a few weeks ago. Taker comes out to new music after getting there twenty minutes ago apparently. This is exactly what you would expect from a main event tag match with these four, but it’s given nearly half an hour. All four guys beat on each other and the tension between Austin and Taker is clear. They brawl on the floor, in the ring and all over the place.

It’s very hard to comment on a match like this because the first 15-20 minutes or so are just what you would expect in a match like this with very little of note. Austin keeps hitting stunners but there are kickouts every time or someone interferes. It’s a good match, but I really don’t get why the titles had to be involved.

Putting two guys that are big singles stars as tag champions rarely if ever works and it didn’t here, as the faces win but lost them back I think either the next night or 8 days later. Taker wins it with a tombstone on Kane.

Rating: B+. This was fine, but it made no sense to change the titles back so fast. It was Russo 101 to make them just a prop, which I’ve always hated deeply. Seriously, what’s the point in just making the belts a thing to advance a storyline? They should be on the top tag team, which they did about two weeks later when the Outlaws got them back. The wrestling was top quality with four great workers in there at the top of their game. Great match, but I’m not wild on the storyline.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is bad. There are two matches on it worth anything and one is a horrible ending. The main event is solid but it certainly can’t save the show. Aside from that and the opening match, the show is just a waste. Nothing of note happens and the two good matches certainly can’t save it.

The rest of the card is just random filler that few cared about. It would get a lot better soon though as the real glory days of the Attitude Era were on the horizon. Skip this for sure though and go grab Summerslam which is light years better and a very solid show.

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 13, 1998: Kane Needs To Chill With The Rematches

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 13, 1998
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,569
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Shawn Michaels

Well we have two Raws to go before Fully Loaded which is just a big preview for Summerslam anyway, which the company more or less admitted to. That strategy wound up working as Summerslam was huge that year. The main event tonight is the tag title match with Kane/Mankind challenging the Outlaws. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from the end of last week’s show where Undertaker impersonated Kane and became #1 contender.

Raw opens up….and my goodness Shawn Michaels is here. He hasn’t been seen since Wrestlemania. He sits in on commentary and even kisses Lawler on the cheek. Shawn is going to be here for the rest of the night too. That’s something he’d be perfect for today actually.

Vader vs. Undertaker

Imagine this match if they were both in their primes. My goodness. Austin vs. Taker is officially announced for Summerslam. Kane comes out as well after the guys in the match do. He shoots the fire out of the corners and Taker jumps Vader. Vader slugs Taker down and pounds him down in the corner. I kid you not: Taker hits a Fameasser for two. That sounds like something out of a video game. Out to the floor with Bearer and Mankind out with Kane. Back in Vader powerslams him (minus most of the power) and a splash gets two. A middle rope splash gets two on Taker. He pops up, chokeslam, tombstone, pin.

Rating: C. This is exactly what guys who are over the hill like Vader should be doing. Vader was still a big enough guy that he could be considered a threat so having him lose to big names is a good way to keep the big names looking strong while not wasting big matches. Guys like Vader at this stage of his career don’t exist nearly as much anymore and that’s a real shame.

Mankind goes to hit Taker with a chair but Kane stops it for unknown reasons. Another reason JR is awesome: he points out the two possibilities of Kane either wanting to do it himself or saving his brother. That’s what a commentator can be great at: being a guide.

Brawl For All First Round: Bart Gunn vs. Bob Holly

The New Midnight Express collides! Cornette has resigned as their manager because of this. The announcers spend the intros absolutely burying WCW for their horrible Bash at the Beach PPV the night before with Karl Malone and Dennis Rodman in the main event. I gave it a rating of not acceptable if that tells you anything. Bart Gunn was the surprise in this tournament but it doesn’t make this interesting. Bart wins by decision. They get in a fight post match.

We get some clips from the DX Nation parody last week.

The guy that played Owen does some of him impressions on commentary. His Shawn is GREAT. So is his Austin. The Nation pops up on screen and says they’re looking for DX. Jason (impression guy) does some more Owen until the real one comes out and puts him in the Sharpshooter. DX comes out for the save as does the Nation.

Rock/Owen Hart vs. HHH/X-Pac

It’s a brawl to start with HHH and Owen staying in the ring. Rock vs. HHH in a 2/3 falls title for title match is announced for Fully Loaded. Rocky and Pac start us off and a Samoan Drop gets two. Owen hits a top rope elbow for two. Pac tries to speed things up but Owen can go step for step with him. Back to Rock and X-Pac can’t do anything with him either. A slam sets up the People’s Elbow for two. Owen distracts the referee so Rock can hit X-Pac low, but it lets HHH get a belt shot to put him down. Rock breaks up a tag but walks into an X-Factor for the surprise pin. HHH was never in the match.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but the ending was kind of surprising. I like that it came out of nowhere because it’s not something that you see coming. Most matches today are structured and go on the same formula so it’s very nice to be able to have a match that is nowhere near the formula but still works.

Marc Mero vs. Steve Blackman

Sable comes out for commentary. She still can’t comment on her relationship with Vince. Shawn calls Jacqueline Sexual Chocolate. Blackman takes over to start with slams and strikes. He keeps control and the girls get into it. Mero low blows Blackman and a Samoan Drop, but Jackie and Sable distract him and a bicycle kick gets the pin for Blackman.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind

Undertaker comes out as well. Mankind and Billy start but it’s quickly off to Road Dogg. Billy hammers on Mankind as the champs have tagged twice in just a few seconds. Chyna hits Mankind in his bad shoulder with a belt to give the Outlaws the advantage. Billy jumps off the middle rope into the Claw but Roadie saves him. Here’s Kane and Billy’s punches have no effect at all.

Kane shoves Gunn down and the beating begins. Billy is sent outside and Mankind throws him knees first into the steps. Taker has done nothing at all in this so far other than watch. Owen and Rock come out as Mankind comes back in. Mankind charges into Billy and they ram heads. Road Dogg and Kane come in but Roadie can’t hurt him either. Piledriver takes Mankind down as DX comes out to fight the Nation. Fameasser puts Kane down as does a Russian legsweep, but D’Lo comes off the top with the Lo Down to Road Dogg. A tombstone gives the monsters the titles.

Rating: D+. This was Attitude Era 101: total insanity ending with a run-in to change a title. The monsters would only hold them for a few weeks but would then get them back. It would lead up to Summerslam and the rematch where someone turns on someone else. It’s not a great match but if you’re watching for the wrestling in this one, you really don’t get the point.

HHH complains to Vince about what just happened.

Kai En Tai vs. Too Much/Taka Michinoku

Too Much starts fast and hits a Hart Attack on Funaki. Off to Togo who gets suplexed by Scotty. Taka comes in to speed things up and calls for the Michinoku Driver. Kai En Tai continues their speed stuff to stop Taka but he makes the tag to Brian. A powerbomb puts Togo down and Too Much uses some double teaming to get two. Scotty uses the Worm’s grandfather but Togo moves. A moonsault gets two for Dick. Taka and Scott get in an argument, resulting in Scotty taking a senton backsplash to end this. Not enough to grade but it was mostly a mess.

Too Much throws Taka to the floor….and here’s Val. He didn’t like being slapped by Yamaguchi-San but it made him realize he was wrong about something. No man should ever mess with another man’s wife. Val apologizes and offers a gift: a special viewing of his latest video entitled Land of the Rising Venis. Val is in bed and stuff is censored. And it’s with Yamaguchi’s wife. Val says sayonara and cuts the camera. He says that once they taste Valbowski, they never come back.

Here’s Vince to address a few things. He says we’ll discuss the tag title situation in a minute and calls out Undertaker. Vince talks about King of the Ring and how Taker fooled him last week. What Vince wants to know though is did Taker have help or was he acting along last week. He demands an answer and Taker refuses. Vince starts to back off and here comes Austin.

Austin tells Vince to get out. As for Taker, he and Austin are on the road to Summerslam. Austin respects Taker for challenging him face to face. However before they get there, they have to go through Fully Loaded. Austin wants to know if Taker will be his partner or another opponent at the PPV. Taker won’t answer him either…..and here’s DX?

HHH says he wants answers too and says that tonight, the Outlaws get their rematch. Somehow that means we’ll find out if Taker and Kane are in cahoots. There are going to be three referees: one on the inside, and Taker and Austin as guest enforcers on the outside. Vince says ok so HHH tells him to suck it.

Brawl For All First Round: Godfather vs. Dan Severn

So this is the reason Severn left the tournament. He easily takes Godfather down over and over but for some reason that no one but the people running this crap gets, they don’t count. The fans HATE this and Severn wins. He bailed on it because he had nothing to prove (true) and it made no sense (double true).

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind

Austin and Undertaker are referees on the floor. It’s a brawl to start and I don’t think it’s going to change from that very much. Road Dogg and Kane fight in the ring as Gunn hits Foley in the face with the steps. The Outlaws double team every chance they get but it doesn’t really work. We actually get to a tag format with Mankind vs. Roadie. We’re just waiting on the big brawl with the main event guys to start here. Road Dogg has been being beaten down the entire time here.

Billy comes in and there goes the referee. Roadie low blows Kane and hooks a small package. Austin comes in for the count but Kane pulls Austin out. DUN DUN DUN!!! Kane chokeslams Road Dogg but Austin stops Taker’s count. The brawl begins and here’s the Nation and DX. Stunners and chokeslams all around (Shawn said those exact words a second after I thought of them) end the show.

Rating: D. I can barely rate this so I’ll keep it brief: if you’re looking for wrestling here, go read a book instead, because you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Overall Rating: C-. This show is one where your taste will vary depending on what you’re looking for. The wrestling here is nothing of note at all, but it did a lot of the heavy lifting that had to get done to get us to Fully Loaded. Most of the card is set now so we don’t have that to worry about. That being said, the Fully Loaded stuff wasn’t really all that interesting because it’s just a buildup PPV to Summerslam. Not a terrible show tonight, but this would be a great show to read about instead of watching. Make your own jokes about that in the comments.

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Monday Night Raw – January 30, 2012 – They’ve Turned It On

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 30, 2012
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentary: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re past the Rumble now and Raw still has the same champion. The main thing going on tonight is that HHH is going to be evaluating Ace’s job performance. Last night, Ace pretty much was perfect other than a few small errors, which makes me think something is up. Punk vs. Ziggler was a highlight of the show and I’d like to see more of it. Also the Chamber members have been announced already: Kofi, Miz, Truth, Punk, Ziggler and Jericho. Let’s get to it.

After a quick Rumble video and the theme song, we’re ready to go.

Ace comes out and shakes hands with fans and the announcers to keep sucking up. He talks about how it’s ok to make mistakes as long as you don’t make the same ones. Ace is looking forward to the evaluation. He talks about his performance last night and moves onto the “Elimination PPV.” We hear the aforementioned Chamber participants. Also it’s Beth vs. Eve, Kofi vs. Miz and Ziggler vs. Orton. Finally, Punk vs. Bryan.

Cue Punk who leads us in the goodbye song. Ace wants an apology for not screwing Punk and being a man of his word. Punk talks about how bad of a job Ace has done and can’t wait until HHH gets here and throws him out. We also get the Bart Simpson (I think) suck and blow at the same time line. Ace says he won’t take it personal because the Board doesn’t. He does offer a clean slate via a handshake but Punk says if you do that to the best wrestler in the world, it means you want to go to sleep.

That brings out Bryan for the big celebration as usual. After last night, Punk isn’t much of a challenge. Punk again says he’s the best in the world so Bryan says he’s a role model as a vegan. He doesn’t even eat meat. Punk wants to know what exactly Bryan eats then. Bryan threatens to shove the Pipe Bomb somewhere it shouldn’t be. Punk says let’s give the people a show and the best match in the world.

That brings out Sheamus to remind us that he won the Rumble last night. His words, not mine. He also reminds the champs they defend at the Chamber PPV and that Ace could be fired. Sheamus doesn’t pick yet and gives Ace a little Irish proverb. Punk and Bryan shake hands.

Barrett is in a sky box to watch Orton’s match.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

During Orton’s entrance, Barrett says he’ll finish the job on Friday. Barrett is doing commentary from his box in a way. Ziggler starts off fast and avoids a right hand. Randy takes it to the mat for a second with a headlock. Barrett reiterates that he’ll take Orton out on Friday. Zigger hits a dropkick to the back and we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock.

Orton gets up and avoids a corner splash but another dropkick takes him down for two. A neckbreaker sets up the sit-ups. Dolph goes up but gets crotched and a superplex gets two for Randy. Orton powerslams him down but the elevated DDT is countered and Dolph hooks the sleeper. They go to the corner again and Orton gets a slick rolling cradle for two. Fameasser gets the same for Dolph. Zig Zag is countered and we go to the floor. Orton throws him into the barricade and comes back in with the elevated DDT. RKO ends this totally clean at about 11:00.

Rating: B-. Is Ziggler capable of having a bad match anymore? He and Orton do nothing but put on solid matches anymore and this was no exception. Good stuff here and the dominant victory is fine for Orton. I don’t think it hurts Ziggler really as he’s a lower level star than Orton so it’s not exactly an upset.

New Hall of Fame inductee tonight.

We get a still package on the Kane/Ryder/Cena stuff from last night.

Ace is still talking to people in the back and asks Regal how his son is. Regal has daughters apparently, who are conjoined and locked in the attic. Somehow that’s hilarious.

Brodus Clay vs. Tyler Reks

There’s a disco ball in Brodus’ entrance now. Reks actually gets in some offense, even getting Brodus down to one knee. Not that it matters though as Brodus comes back and What The Funk ends this in 1:04.

Punk is lacing up his boots when Bryan comes in. Punk asks about the whole vegan thing and Bryan explains about how it’s about screaming animals and not putting poison in your bodies. Bryan asks about straightedge which Punk explains and says he doesn’t claim to be a role model. He’s just the best wrestler in the world.

CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan quickly takes over with a dropkick and double leg stomp out of the surfboard position. The announcers explain the Chamber as Bryan continues to control. He misses a high kick and Punk backdrops him to the floor. Punk drops an axehandle on him and they trade European uppercuts on the floor. Bryan throws him over into the timekeeper’s area but Punk beats the count back in at 9.

Punk hits a belly to back suplex to set up the springboard clothesline which gets two. Bryan does his moonsault out of the corner and tries a cross body at the same time Punk does. They collide and as they’re both down we take a break. Back with Bryan working on the arm which he kicked during the break. Bryan goes up but Punk crotches him and hits a rana after shouting BEST IN THE WORLD.

The running knee hits in the corner and Punk shifts to the good arm for the bulldog. I love subtle little things like that, even though Cole and Lawler pointed it out. GTS is attempted but Bryan heads to the floor. Baseball slide is attempted but Punk’s suicide dive is countered by a forearm. Missile dropkick gets two for Daniel. Bryan fires off the kicks but Punk gets a sunset flip for two. BIG kick to the head of Punk gets the same.

They go to the corner again with Bryan trying a superplex. A headbutt puts him down and there’s the Savage Elbow. Well not quite as he only points with one arm. GTS is countered into a crucifix but Bryan can’t get the LeBell Lock. Slingshot puts Bryan into the corner and a high kick puts him down. And here’s Jericho to interfere for the DQ at 15:04.

Rating: B. It was good while it lasted and I guess this sets up Jericho vs. Punk. It was very good back and forth stuff, but it does kind of say a lot when Punk vs. Bryan and champion vs. champion is only the first hour main event. Still though, pretty entertaining match which had no chance at a clean ending.

Jericho hits Punk with a Codebreaker and leaves him laying. He hit Bryan first though so Bryan wins.

Mike Tyson is going to the WWE Hall of Fame. This was on ESPN.com earlier today.

Truth comes out for commentary for the next match.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz talks about the handstand last night and how he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania no matter what. Miz controls to start with his usual basic stuff. Kofi avoids a charge and speeds things up a bit, but Miz takes him down with a double axe from the top. Off to a cravate and into the short DDT for two. Cole keeps asking about Little Jimmy and Truth gets annoyed. Kofi is in tights with question marks on them. Top rope cross body hits Miz for two. He tries the SOS but Miz escapes. Jumping forearm is almost countered into the Finale but Kofi shakes him off. Trouble in Paradise hits out of nowhere for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C. It’s nice to see Kofi get a win which gives him some momentum. He hasn’t really done anything as a singles guy in awhile so this is something he needs going into the Chamber. Not a great match but at least it accomplished something and was 100% clean. Kofi has as much chance as I do in the Chamber but that’s ok as he’ll hit some huge spots for the fun aspect of the match.

Otunga comes in to talk to Ace and wishes him luck.

Same Rock video from last night airs. You know, for the wrestling fans that don’t know who The Rock is.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve jumps her to start but the Glam Slam ends this in 30 seconds. Yep, this was pointless.

Kane pops up on the screen and says this could have been avoided if Cena embraced the hate. Cena keeps looking by Kane to Rock, and until Cena embraces the hate, there’s no way Cena can beat Rock. Kane is going to continue punishing Ryder until the hate is embraced. Tonight, Kane is going to use Eve as a way to push that idea along. The fire goes off and Kane isn’t at the entrance. Instead he’s on the apron behind her. She screams and Cena comes out for the save.

The fight is on quickly and they go into the aisle. Cena fires back at Kane and rams him into the steps. He picks up the steps and takes Kane down with them, drawing a smile on John’s face. There’s another shot and Kane is in trouble. Cena loads up the announce table and sets for the AA as he laughs. Kane elbows his way out of it and runs through the crowd. Good segment as Cena has some fire to him (no pun intended) and you buy that he can beat Kane now, which is the idea heading into the Chamber so he can reach his destiny at Wrestlemania.

Time for Ace’s evaluation. Ace says he’s not nervous because he knows what he’s done on Raw and that the fans have appreciated it. He’s had to go through a self evaluation and has given himself a lot of 5’s (the highest score possible). Ace goes on with this for a bit before HHH’s entrance cuts him off. HHH says forget everything about the assessment and all that stuff because it’s all about how Ace has grabbed the power and tried to make himself a star.

Ace tries to explain it and HHH says don’t lie and make it worse. HHH talks about how this is a personal agenda to make Ace a star. That HAS to be a rib. HHH talks about people letting personal decisions cloud their judgment and having to be replaced. Ace says he’ll do anything to save his job. HHH makes sure the word anything was in there. When Ace says that’s right, HHH says apologize to the WWE Universe.

Ace apologizes to everyone and you can feel the corporate stooge in him coming out perfectly because he snaps this off like he’s ordering dinner. HHH says the fans aren’t going with it so how about Ace runs a gauntlet match against everyone in the locker room that wants a shot at him. That probably isn’t fair though so how about Ace joins Vince’s exclusive club. Ace is really shaken about it but puts on chapstick and gets on his knees.

His eyes are closed and he’s puckered up. HHH laughs and says “You’re really going to do it aren’t you you freak?” Instead, Ace is fired and HHH is running Raw again. HHH sets to wish his well in his future endeavors…..and a gong sounds. The lights go out, fire comes up, and the Undertaker is back. I don’t know if Ace is officially gone or not but HHH said the Board said HHH could run Raw again anytime he wanted.

Taker stares down HHH and slowly walks to the ring. Well there’s Wrestlemania and the shot at 20-0. Taker circles HHH and they stare each other down. This is a LONG overrun as it’s 11:15. He looks up at the Wrestlemania sign and then at HHH then hits the throat slit. A very long staredown and more looking at the sign follows and then HHH pats him on the shoulder to a lot of booing. HHH leaves and Taker looks at the sign again. His music plays us out.

Overall Rating: B. I really liked tonight’s show, but MAN does it take a hit between Miz vs. Kofi and the Cena/Kane fight. That Rock video is way too long and it stops things cold. I really don’t get the point of it either. Who doesn’t know who the Rock is? Even non-wrestling fans know he used to be a wrestler and wrestling fans worship him. Why do we need a 5 minute video on him? Either way, the rest of the show was solid as they’ve turned it on as they always do this time of year.

Results
Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO
Brodus Clay b. Tyler Reks – What The Funk
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Trouble in Paradise
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam

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Monday Night Raw – July 6, 1998 – DX Parodies The Nation

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 6, 1998
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another day another Raw. With three weeks to go before Fully Loaded we have more conspiracy stuff to get to. Austin won the title back last week so there’s also likely to be fallout from that. Also we’ll of course have more DX vs. the Nation stuff as that feud is going to take awhile to get through. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video of last week’s events.

Here’s Undertaker to open the show. He says he wants a title shot and he wants it right now. We cut to the back where Cole is looking for Austin. JR says Austin is here somewhere. There he is and he doesn’t want to talk. Here’s Austin who gets in the ring. Taker gets ready but Vince cuts them off. He says that he picks the opponents and times when Austin defends the title. However since they both want it, he’ll make it happen, but at Fully Loaded. It won’t be a one on one match though. It’ll be them teaming up against Kane/Mankind. The #1 contender will be named tonight as well. Vince flips Austin off.

Brawl For All First Round: Brakkus vs. Savio Vega

Brakkus is a big German muscle man. Savio gets in some good shots in the first round but it’s tied up because of a takedown. Brakkus is totally gassed after round two. Savio wins via points or decision or however you win these things. Brakkus has a broken nose.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock easily sends him to the floor to start. Jarrett comes back in with a top rope cross body but Shamrock rolls through it for two. Edge is in the crowd. Out to the floor and Jarrett throws him into the steps. Jeff takes over and hooks a sleeper. Belly to back breaks whatever momentum Shamrock was getting going. Shamrock starts his comeback and hits a powerslam. A belly to back suplex gets two when King Mabel of all people runs in and splashes Shamrock.

Rating: D. Boring match but it was only here for the ending. Mabel would be here for one night only and would face Shamrock later in the night, which is why things were so short. I don’t think anyone wanted to see Mabel and I don’t think most people remembered him, but either way it’s just one night and the King of the Ring angle was something for Shamrock to do for awhile.

Vader vs. Bradshaw

Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind for the titles next week. What exactly are you expecting here? They’re big, they’re strong, they hit each other a lot. Vader fires off headbutts in the corner and goes up but jumps into a powerslam. And here are Kane and Mankind to beat them both up for the double DQ. The big guys leave the lesser big guys laying.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Headbangers

Please be a squash. The Headbangers pour hot candle wax on themselves on the way to the ring. Ellering is with the DOA here and sends them right after the Headbangers. Mosh vs. let’s say 8-Ball to start. Ellering says the wind was blowing towards the DOA so he went with them. The LOD took their talent and became prisoners of their own memories. Thrasher gets two on a cross body. Off to Skull and Mosh and the Headbangers do their…whatever that is that they do. Stage Dive is broken up and the DOA hits something like a spike belly to back suplex to pin Thrasher.

Rating: D. This was basically a squash but at least it wasn’t against the LOD. Those matches were simply awful so of course they would go on for months. Not much here and the Headbangers weren’t going to be anything pretty much ever again. Not horrible, but there’s only so much this could be.

D-Lo Brown vs. Terry Funk

Brown has the chest protector. Terry takes him to the mat easily but D-Lo gets him into the corner and splashes him with the chest protector. Terry tries to chop him but can’t due to the protector. Instead he punches Brown in the face and piledrives him. A Downward Spiral takes Brown down and they go to the floor. Terry tries an Asai Moonsault but partially hits the railing. Back in and Terry thinks enough to put Brown on his stomach for the moonsault so that it hurts. Brown goes to the apron and Godfather hits Funk with some jewelery. The Low Down ends it.

Rating: D+. I love Terry Funk more and more every time I see him. He does crazy stuff but he has some of the most entertaining matches on Raw every week. Good stuff here and the beginning of one of Brown’s long running gimmicks. That nagging injury angle could work today if someone would think to use it.

Undertaker comes out and chokeslams everyone, including Terry, basically becoming a tweener.

Here’s Vince to announce the #1 contender. We’ll get to the announcement in a bit but first let’s bring some people out. First up, Mankind. Now Kane. Finally it’s Undertaker. Vince talks about everyone and why they could be #1 contender. Mankind took a horrible beating at King of the Ring, Kane was a great champion but was also a very stupid person, and Taker Vince isn’t sure on.

Is it because he’s done evil things to the other candidates? Is it because he thinks he’s as good as Austin? Or is it something else? Either way, we’ll find out who the #1 contender is tonight in a triple threat match.

Brawl For All First Round: Hawk vs. Darren Drozdov

Hawk looks very stupid in wrestling gear and boxing gloves. They lumber around for the first round and this needs to end already. I mean the whole competition mind you. Hawk gets knocked backwards in the second. Nothing happens in the third round and it’s a draw. Droz would advance because Hawk was hurt.

Here are Mero and Jackie. The fans chant for Sable and Jackie says she’s here to talk. She blames herself for Mero losing the fight because she wore him out. Apparently Sable couldn’t satisfy him. Here’s Sable who says Marc couldn’t do anything. Sable implies Jackie is a rather loose woman, so Jackie wants a bikini contest. Ok then.

Val Venis vs. Dustin Runnels

Val’s pre match thing is about Joe Paterno. Dustin prays a bit. Val takes over quickly and hits a running knee in the corner. He goes up for punches but gyrates in Dustin’s face, resulting in an atomic drop. Val takes over again and hooks a full nelson with his legs on Dustin. Dustin comes back with a Russian legsweep but here’s Kai En Tai for the DQ.

Yamaguchi gets on the mike and threatens Val. His wife can’t stop looking at Venis.

And now for the famous part of the show: the DX parody of the Nation. We have HHH as the Crock, Road Dogg as B-Lo, X-Pac as Mizark, Billy as Godfather and a guy named Jason Sensation as Owen. Billy says random things and hands the mic to HHH. He has an eyebrow painted on his forehead and talks about what he was cooking in the bathroom. Roadie repeats everything and then shakes his head. Crock sets for a People’s Elbow on B-Lo but stops mid-leg turn to talk about how when he hits Rock Bottom with the ladies, he has to lay the Smackdown on himself.

B-Lo of course runs to the corner and shakes his head after repeating everything Crock said. Jason Sensation (in a PERFECT Owen voice) says that he looks like a road sign. He wanted to be tough, but he couldn’t grow his beard in. He’s a black Hart, a winner and a soul survivor WOO! And if anyone smells what the Rock is cooking, it’s him. Look how big his nose is. What is he, an aardvark. WOO!

Mizark wants to know what Rock is cooking, because hey hey hey, it smells like crap. B-Lo is finally told to shut up. Now shut your mouths and know your roles, because Nation, we got two words for you: WATCH THIS. This is still absolutely hilarious and had me cracking up. It’s on a WWE DVD somewhere I’m sure.

Mabel vs. Ken Shamrock

Mabel goes after the ribs and hits a backbreaker. Shamrock hammers on him but a corner splash misses. A middle rope elbow can’t drop the monster and neither can a leg lariat. World’s Strongest Slam puts Ken down but a middle rope clothesline misses and the ankle lock ends this quick. Not long enough to rate but this was no surprise at all.

Shamrock won’t let go of the hold and snaps again.

Here are Vince and Bearer to watch the triple threat. Austin joins them. It’s Austin and Vince on commentary.

Undertaker vs. Mankind vs. Kane

Winner is #1 contender. And there’s no Undertaker. The arena has Kane’s red lights in it. Vince gets off commentary and says it’s now one on one and no holds barred. We’ll throw in falls count anywhere in the building too. Mankind sits on the floor in front of the steps. He says he’s given enough and he’s not giving for Vince anymore. Mankind isn’t going to fight his friend Kane. Vince says ring the bell and we have like 2 minutes left. Kane stands in the ring as Vince yells to get going. Kane goes to the floor, cracks Mankind in the head with the chair and becomes #1 contender.

Kane rips off the mask to reveal the Undertaker, who is now #1 contender, end of show. This was done perfectly. Kane had been wearing the two sleeved outfit for a few weeks so it wasn’t out of the ordinary to see him in that. The red light keeps you from being able to see details of Taker, and therefore it probably fooled a lot of people. Very well done and I was shocked when I was ten.

Overall Rating: C. This show is very indicative of what the Attitude Era’s problem is: it doesn’t age well at all. The problem is that when you have a show that is totally built around drama and who knows what and who is really with who, it’s very entertaining to watch week to week. Watching it later, you realize that it’s not the best TV. The difference between this and Nitro is on Nitro, there was a ton of drama, but it resulted in stuff in the ring week to week. Now Raw did that too, but it resulted in great stuff in the ring on the PPVs, which means the TV can be kind of boring to sit through.

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Monday Night Raw – June 29, 1998 – Oh Cheese And Crackers The Brawl For All Is Here

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 29, 1998
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 16,505
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is pretty historic show in that we have a world title match as Kane defends against the man he beat last night, Steve Austin. Other than that, we also have the debut of one of the dumbest ideas in the history of the company: the Brawl For All. Other than that, we’ve got Shamrock as the new King of the Ring and we begin the road to Fully Loaded, which is in four weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a still package from the title match last night. Taker smacked Austin in the head with a chair and claimed that it was inadvertent. Either way, it cost Austin the title.

Here’s Vince and here’s all fired up. There’s a red carpet in the ring and the title is under glass. He spends a lot of time bragging about how awesome the new champion is rather than the old one. Vince praises Kane who has never had alcohol or uttered a swear or anything like that. He’s a role model apparently. Here’s Kane and Bearer does the talking of course.

Paul talks about how this is a place where dreams come true. He spent over twenty years watching Kane watch his brother and about how Kane wanted to be like Taker. Bearer told him that Kane could be better than him. For the first time, Taker is in Kane’s shadow. Here’s the belt presentation. Patterson isn’t here due to a family emergency which is legit if I remember correctly.

Vince goes to put the title on Kane but here’s Austin. He says Kane never busted him open which is true. Austin wants a rematch right here tonight. He keeps telling Vince to make it but Vince is hesitant. If the people want it, why not do it? Bearer says it’s all right with him if it’s all right with Kane. Now Austin yells at Kane, talking about how it was Taker who won the title last night and in a great bit of manipulation, Austin says Kane will always want to know if he could do it himself. Kane nods yes to Austin and the title match is on for later.

Darren Drozdov vs. Steven Regal

Sable introduces Regal, who sadly enough is just Steven Regal, British guy. I hadn’t realized it yet but Lawler is now on commentary both hours. Sable sits in on commentary. Droz hammers away on Regal who does his usual shouting. We’re on a split screen of the match and Sable, so at least there’s something to look at. JR keeps asking Sable about her relationship with Vince and all that and she can’t comment. Regal hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Droz. Droz makes a comeback and goes up. Regal suplexes him off the top and the Regal Stretch ends this boring match.

Rating: D-. I can see why Regal was sent down to Dory Funk’s training center for some more work. He hurt his ankle there though and later broke his leg so he didn’t have another match on WWF TV until around Halloween. That’s good too because this was really pretty boring stuff.

Here’s the new King, Ken Shamrock. He talks about how it was hard to win last night but he managed to win. As far as Rocky goes, the guy he beat last night, last night Rocky showed him something. Here comes Owen who says he was a better king than Ken is. Owen challenges him for later and Ken says it was Owen that broke his ankle so it’s on. Now here’s HHH who wants in on this too. Shamrock is a really weak talker. Granted that isn’t his strong suit and never was supposed to be.

We had to get here. I didn’t want to do it but we had to eventually. It’s time for the Brawl For All.

The UFC was gaining popularity so WWF tried to get in on some of it. This is the result. There are three one minute rounds and a point system. You get 5 points for the most punches per round, 5 points for a takedown and 10 points for a knockdown. A knockout ends the fight.

Now here’s where things got really stupid: It wasn’t predetermined. That’s right: this is a legit fighting tournament. Now, any common sense would suggest that Dan Sever, a legit all-American wrestler and an Olympic alternate as well as a former UFC Champion, would be the runaway favorite. However, for some reason this was designed to get Dr. Death Steve Williams over. That didn’t happen. It also didn’t help that it was another tournament just after the King of the Ring and that there were no submissions. Let’s get this over with.

Brawl For All First Round: Marc Mero vs. Steve Blackman

I won’t be rating any of these because it’s not wrestling. Blackman takes him down quickly but instead of holding him on the ground, they stand up and start all over again as soon as they hit the ground. The crowd is openly booing 26 seconds in. Blackman gets 4 takedowns in the first round alone. He also got the most punches so he’s up 25-0. The fans say they want wrestling. Blackman dominates the second round and there’s no point to even talking about this. After about 9 takedowns, Blackman wins by decision, making the points worthless. He was hurt though so Mero got to come back. So freaking stupid.

Kane says he’s giving Austin a title shot because he knows he can win and is better than Taker ever was.

Someone is just getting here.

Val Venis vs. Dick Togo

Make your own name jokes. Val chases Yamaguchi off with a chair. Yamaguchi’s wife is at ringside, which comes into play later. Val pounds him into the corner for a fast start. Dustin Rhodes comes out to preach a bit. Togo runs the corner and hits a nice flip dive attack. Rhodes wants to know if Jerry and JR have thought about how many people they can reach by spreading the word of God. Jerry says chill and Rhodes quotes scripture. DDT gets two for Togo. Togo goes up but jumps into a powerslam. A regular slam sets up the Money Shot (with gyrations) to end this clean. Pretty much just a squash.

Val hits on Yamaguchi’s wife post match. Yamaguchi protests and slaps him. Kai En Tai comes in so Val blasts them with a chair.

Edge is watching from the crowd.

Austin says he didn’t lose the title so he’ll be getting it back tonight.

HHH vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart

Owen and Hart fight on the floor while HHH chills in the ring. Owen comes in so HHH pounds on him for a bit and the jumping knee gets two. Jerry suggests that HHH would have been the King of Kings if he had won there. So that’s where it started. All three are back in now and the fans are all over Owen. Shamrock and Owen wind up double teaming the Game and Shamrock gets two.

Owen is sent to the floor and HHH gets a flying knee for two. A piledriver gets two on Trips but Shamrock saves. Snap suplex puts Owen down but he pops up and grabs a German on Shamrock for two. During the break we got the triple sleeper and double jawbreaker spot. Now the blondes are going after the ankle of Shamrock which isn’t totally healed yet. A missile dropkick puts HHH down (with an inadvertent bell) and Owen hooks a Sharpshooter (Jerry: “Is Vince around?”).

Now Triple H tries the Pedigree on Shamrock but Owen breaks it up with a spinwheel kick. DDT puts HHH down and Shamrock comes back on Owen. Leg lariat gets two for Ken and he crushes HHH. Here’s the ankle lock to Owen but HHH makes the save. Rana is countered by HHH into a powerbomb but he gets enziguried to the floor. Chyna takes Owen out so Shamrock goes out to beat on him. Rock runs in and blasts HHH with the IC Title. Shamrock comes in and gets the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was a long match and it was very energetic as they moved all over the place the entire time. I wasn’t wild on it but I’m not a fan of triple threats in general. This was before the modern standard triple threat formula was established though so it was a nice change of pace.

DX and the Nation fight on the stage as is their custom. Owen puts Shamrock in a figure four around the post.

Here’s Taker who has an explanation of some sort. He says he owes no one anything but he’ll say why he came to the ring last night. He and his brother don’t get along but he couldn’t let Kane set himself on fire. Cole who is conducting the interview says that may have cost Austin the title. Taker says he did what he had to do.

Cue Vince who says Taker did it because he thinks he can beat Kane but not Austin. Vince calls him evil and threatens him with something if he interferes tonight.

Brawl For All First Round: Bradshaw vs. Mark Canterbury

Canterbury is Henry Godwinn. They throw a lot of punches during the first round and are gassed afterwards. Bradshaw pounds him down but Canterbury stands up. The fans think it’s boring. I’m not really going to bother talking about these much because that’s not what I’m here for. Canterbury gets a takedown as Lawler tries to make us believe that this is something impressive. Bradshaw wins if you care.

Summerslam is in 9 weeks. That would be pretty easily the biggest Summerslam ever.

Here’s the LOD minus Sunny. Animal says they have a new manager: Paul Ellering, their original manager. Here’s the LOD to complain though. Ellering turns on the LOD because the DOA is his new team. Ellering would later say that this was awful because he couldn’t bring himself to insult the LOD.

Taker says no one tells him what to do, implying that he’ll interfere in the title match.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Kane

Austin has a bad arm from an infection I believe. Austin goes right at Kane but gets knocked down by the power. A forearm shot floors Kane though and the fans are erupting after every single move. Quick Stunner attempt is countered and Kane heads outside. Austin dives from the apron with a clothesline and Kane goes into the steps.

Back inside and Kane hammers him down but walks into the Thesz Press. Austin goes after the leg, wrapping it around the post. Kane kicks him to the floor and Austin goes into the steps again. Austin is in trouble so the fans cheer even faster. Even Bearer gets a poke in with what looked like an object. Off to a chinlock and here’s Taker.

Austin tries to make a comeback but walks into a big boot by the champion. Top rope clothesline takes Austin down. Austin tries to come back but walks into a bad chokeslam. Tombstone and Stunner are countered but the second attempt at the Stunner gives Austin the title back totally clean. Taker did nothing at all.

Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird match. Austin pretty much just beat Kane clean in about 9 minutes. I mean…that’s it. He too all of the attacks, countered the Tombstone and hit the Stunner to end it. There’s nothing else to it and that’s such a surprise given how dominant Kane had been over his time so far.

Austin Stuns Taker post match and the giants sit up at the same time to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The Brawl For All stuff just cripples it. I know it’s short, but my goodness it takes me out of the show. It drives me crazy when wrestling apparently isn’t enough so they have to do whatever else they can to try to get people watching. Just stick with what it says on the marquee and you won’t go wrong. Why Vince hates that idea is beyond me.

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Great American Bash 2007 – Lashley’s Best Match Ever

Great American Bash 2007
Date: July 22, 2007
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,034
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

Back to the WWE again and we’re back to double branded shows with this one. Therefore we have two world title matches tonight in the form of Khali defending against Kane and Batista, plus Cena vs. Lashley in a match that I’ve always hoped the company would be able to present on a bigger stage. Other than that there isn’t much huge on here, at least not from an historical perspective. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is being here for a party. This transitions into talking about the main events.

The announcers talk about the show. I’ve always felt sorry for the ECW guys who have to sit there for three hours and call an 8 minute match total.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. MVP

This feud went on and on. To give you an idea, this is July of 07 right? Matt won the title in April of 08. Matt armdrags him and MVP bails to the floor. Back in and they go to the mat. Both guys go for arm control but MVP gets sent to the floor. Plancha to the floor gets two back inside. Back in and things slow down a bit. Test of strength goes on and Mattt grabs a suplex for two.

Matt sets for what I’d assume was a tornado DDT but MVP yanks him off. Boot to the head gets two. Off to a double arm hold but Matt bites his leg. Well that’s a counter. MVP pounds on Matt’s bad head and neck. Fireman’s carry results in him just dropping him without going off his feet. Matt gets a clothesline but when he goes up he loses his balance and might have hit his head.

MVP goes up and hooks a superplex off the top. He can’t follow up though due to slamming his head on the mat. That gets a delayed two. MVP finally juts rams Matt’s head into the mat. An attempt at a belly to back superplex is countered into a cross body (which Cole calls a bulldog because Cole is an idiot) for two. NOW a bulldog gets two. Middle rope legdrop gets two. Twist of Fate and Playmaker are countered. Side Effect gets two for Matt. A cradle gets two for the champ but the big boot misses in the corner. This is getting good. They go to the corner and MVP gets a running boot to the chest. Playmaker ends this clean.

Rating: B-. Good solid opener here which is what they needed to go with. The Cruiserweight have a match later but sometimes it’s nice to have a more serious title defense to start things off. The matches these two had usually worked but the problem was getting to these matches with all the wasted time in between.

Dusty Rhodes says he’s ready for Orton. It’s a bullrope match and I have no idea why it’s occurring. It’s way too late for the Legend Killer thing I’d think. Dusty talks about everyone that came before Orton and respect and all that jazz. He tells a story about a cow and a bull and makes noises.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

It’s a five man match but remember that this is a Cruiserweight Open, as in anyone can get in on this. Chavo is champion coming in. This is the dying days of the title as this was thrown on the card yesterday with no story. They did these kind of matches for probably a year. Hornswoggle is on the floor and hides under the ring. Chavo tries to run but gets thrown outside instead. This is one fall to a finish.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with anything so the whole thing is pretty all over the place. Chavo comes back in and Cole talks about his Latina wife. Shannon gets two on Chavo but Funaki hits a cross body onto both of them for a combined two. Powerslam gets two for Noble but Chavo breaks it up again. Chavo hooks some freaky rollup on Yang and transitions into a half crab but it gets broken up by Funaki.

Moore slams Funaki into the buckle HARD. Noble vs. Moore now. Make that Noble vs. Funaki. See what I mean about how there’s no point in trying to call this? Funaki gets an enziguri for two on Moore. Gory Bomb to Funaki gets two for the champ. Almost everyone goes to the floor so Yang sets for a dive. Chavo stops it and it’s Tower of Doom time. Noble is down and here’s Horny to come off the top with a Tadpole Splash to win the title.

Rating: C-. Like I said there’s only so much you can do in these. The ending is totally legal when you think about it: he’s certainly small enough and it was an Open so anyone can enter at any time right? This wasn’t anything great but it was very clear that the title was done. And no it wasn’t Horny that killed it. The belt was long since dead.

HHH returns at Summerslam.

Video on Lashley’s career, including his amateur stuff. They’re pushing him hard as the uncrowned champion.

Carlito vs. Sandman

This is a Singapore Cane on a Pole match. For some reason that absolutely no one is quite sure of, Sandman got a midcard push on Raw for a few weeks in 2007. Carlito spits the apple in Sandman’s face to tick him off. You win by pinfall or submission here. Sandman works on the arm to take him down. That’s not exactly what I was expecting but ok then. Both go for the cane and both fail. A dropkick puts Sandy down but Sandman stops a climb attempt. That gets repeated a few times as this needs to end quickly. Sandman gets the cane and walks into a Backstabber for the pin. Carlito never touched the cane.

Rating: F. This was on a PPV. Why in the world did this exist? Like I said I still don’t get the point of Sandman’s time on Raw and I don’t think anyone else did either. Allegedly there’s a point to this feud but they didn’t really bother telling us what it was. Boring match and no point to being here at all.

Orton says he’s glad Dusty is in a good mood. Todd Grisham is almost as tall as Orton. Randy brags about how Shawn can’t even remember that today is his birthday after he punted Shawn in the head. A Punt is promised for Dusty as well.

Women’s Title: Candace Michelle vs. Melina

Candace has the title coming in here. I’m still not sure if I liked Candace or not. She looked good but other than that, there’s nothing to her at all. Melina takes her to the mat and has furry boots. It looks pretty clear that we’re in the full on long Raw match format here. Candace hits a Hennig necksnap and they exchange some covers.

I’m not really paying attention to this on the grounds of it’s rather boring. Melina grabs the arm and this match continues to go nowhere. Candace fights back and oh my goodness I remember why I didn’t like her. She SUCKS at attacking. Top rope cross body gets two. Neckbreaker gets two for Melina as well as screams. Candace wins with a freaking standing bulldog of all things.

Rating: D-. This is pretty much the same result as the previous match: there’s no point in the match being here but this one had looks and Melina gyrations. The match didn’t mean anything and it was just a Raw match that went about twice as long. Thankfully Beth would win the title from Candance soon, as well as three years later when Kelly played the role of Candace in basically the exact same story.

Mania is coming to Orlando.

Matt and Jeff talk in the back when Candace comes up. She has a bottle of water and, ahem, adult, music comes on as she pours it over herself. Well at least they admit the girls are just eye candy. Ron Simmons comes up to say the line.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Jeff is challenging and that Candace scene was in place of a recap. Umaga immediately takes him down and they go to the floor. Jeff fights back but walks into a Samoan Drop which must be like learning to walk at the Samoan wrestling school. Umaga pounds him down and hooks a nerve hold. Jeff looks more like he’s coming down off a really bad trip. Must be a Sunday. And now it’s back to the nerve hold for a VERY long time.

Jeff gets up and tries a slam but guess how well that goes. Umaga crashes down onto Jeff’s chest and then does it again. This has been a squash so far. A middle rope headbutt misses and both of them are down. Out to the floor and there’s a plancha, thankfully by Jeff so that the plate tectonics don’t shift. A dropkick gets two for Jeff. The running hip bump in the corner misses and Jeff hooks a Twist of Fate for two.

The fans are way into this too which is always a good sign. Umaga charges and hits the ring post. There’s a Swanton but Umaga BARELY kicks out. That seems to wake Umaga up though so he throws Jeff around like a skinny man that owes him drug money. The corner hip shot and the Samoan Spike kill Jeff deader than an overdose on every drug known to man and we’re done.

Rating: C+. This was one of the opening steps in the process of Jeff’s rise to the world title a year and a half later. He would show signs of hammering away on Umaga but then he would come up short. Jeff would continue to rise up and get closer and closer to the big wins, even getting the Rumble title shot in January, before FINALLY winning the title in 18 months. Yes Virginia, there used to be world title pushes that lasted longer than two months.

Same kind of video on Cena that was shown on Lashley earlier.

ECW Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is freshly….well Morrison. He was Johnny Nitro forever and this is Punk’s second shot I think. This is a rematch from last month’s show which was supposed to be Benoit’s night but some stuff came up. Like murder and suicide. Anyway, this is happening because of Morrison wondering what Punk’s name means. The old ECW Title looks like a toy. Punk takes him to the mat and they fight over the arm.

Slingshot suplex gets two for Punk. Monkey flip out of the corner sends Morrison flying and we go outside. Morrison takes over out there and shoots the half for two in the ring. GTS is countered and Morrison takes him down for two. Wheelbarrow slam gets two. Up to the corner they go but Morrison gets dropped to the floor and a cross body off the top puts both guys down.

Morrison rolls him up but grabs the rope so it doesn’t count. Punk fires off kicks for two and the knee in the corner looks to set up the bulldog but Morrison counters and tries to walk out. Punk makes the stop and tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into a kick for the pin. That was a quick ending.

Rating: C+. Another pretty good match here but not a classic. Punk wasn’t quite a master of his craft yet but he would be world champion in a year if my memory is right. Not bad but again, it was really just an extended TV match. That being said, the ECW Title might as well have just been a title defended on TV anyway. It had no business on PPV for the most part.

We recap Orton vs. Rhodes. Rhodes had gone into the Hall of Fame earlier this year and is certainly a legend. Orton is a legend killer and one day he walked up to Rhodes. Cody tried to defend him but Randy slapped Dusty. Disrespect was mentioned and clearly you can see the connection from that to a cowbell and bullrope right? Do cowboys ever win those?

Randy Orton vs. Dusty Rhodes

This is the pinfall version instead of the touching all the corners version, making it a bit better. I can’t complain about hearing Common Man or whatever that song is called again. Randy doesn’t really want to get tied up to the rope and I can’t say I blame him. I think the bell rang and that this is counting. The problem is there’s a bell on the rope so it’s hard to tell. Blast it there’s the real bell. I was hoping we were almost half done.

Comedy to start as Dusty takes him down with the rope around his feet. Dusty elbows him down and crotches him with the rope. They go to the floor and Dusty misses a bell shot to the head against the post. There’s a long beating on the floor and back inside we go. Orton gets in a shot to the knee and here comes the booing. Orton hooks a long chinlock to fill in most of the match. Dusty comes back with the elbows but a bell to the head gets the pin for Randy.

Rating: D-. What in the world were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Dusty is an old man and he’s against a young superstar. That being said, at least they didn’t make this idiotic by doing something like making him a heel. I mean, can you imagine how stupid you have to be to make an old man attempt to be a big threat? I mean, can you imagine being intimidated of a guy in his early 60s?

And for those of you that don’t get basic sarcasm, I was making fun of TNA.

Cody blocks a punt post match.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Great Khali vs. Batista

Kane is a face here….I think. There was no video recap so how am I supposed to remember a story from four and a half years ago? Khali is champion and Batista kept wanting to slay the giant. The champ runs over both of them and chokes Batista down in the corner. Oh apparently Khali won the title three days earlier on Smackdown in a battle royal after Edge got hurt. I remember that. That must be why there was no backstory.

This has been ALL Khali so far. Both guys get nerve holds and chokeslams. Khali of course stops to pose. Out to the floor and Khali loads up the announce table. Kane tries a chokeslam through it and Batista tries the Bomb but both of them are easily broken up. They double team him and get a half spinebuster/half chokeslam through the table. That was kind of cool.

Kane hits a side slam for two back in the ring. Big Dave gets the same off a powerslam. He loads up a superplex but Kane knocks him off and hits the clothesline off the top. Here comes the chokeslam but Khali comes back and takes it instead. Batista and Kane go to the floor and the Big Bald goes down. Back to Khali vs. Batista with Big Dave getting two off a spinebuster. Kane charges into the post and Batista tries the Bomb on him but gets backdropped. Chokeslam to Batista gets two. The next attempt hits but Khali pulls Dave out. Punjabi Plunge to Kane keeps the title on Khali.

Rating: C-. I know a lot of people are going to bash this match but the idea here is simple: everyone is a monster so what’s the point in trying anything other than their biggest moves? They’re not going to work so just stick with the big stuff. Fun match but not exactly a technical masterpiece. Still decent, all things considered though.

HHH is still coming back at Summerslam. Nothing has changed with that.

Here’s Booker with Sharmell. He says HHH isn’t the King of Kings because he’s the only King. Speaking of which, Jerome, why are you wearing a crown? Booker demands an explanation and the surrendering of said crown. Lawler says come get it. Booker calls this treason and then leaves with Sharmell. I’m assuming this is a Raw story now?

They really try to hype up Cena vs. Lashley as a dream match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley

They fight over a lockup to start and Cena is shoved into a corner. Lashley takes him down with a test of strength but Cena comes back to booing. He’s been champion for ten months here so the fans aren’t that thrilled with him. Lashley takes over with the power game but Cena counters into an STFU attempt so Lashley runs. Basically this is a chess match as both guys try to get ahead but neither is being very aggressive.

Lashley grabs a release t-bone suplex for two. He might be bleeding just a bit. Cena gets whipped into the corner and a delayed suplex gets two. Cena grabs a suplex of his own out of nowhere for a very delayed two. Lashley gets a modified gutbuster to mess up Cena’s ribs and it’s down to a body vice. JR and King turn into idiots by saying they can’t remember any opponent with Lashley’s amateur credentials challenging Cena.

Cena fires off a pair of ProtoBombs and the Shuffle for two. FU is easily escaped and a powerslam gets two. Lashley hooks a torture rack and then drops him into what we would call Shock Treatment. Out of nowhere Cena hits an FU but can’t cover. Lashley’s spear attempt is countered into the STFU and the place pops. Weird crowd man. Lashley FINALLY gets a rope and this is getting good.

John complains to the referee about….something, and walks into a BIG spear for two. The fans are way into this too. They go to the corner and Lashley loads up something that appears to be a superplex, but Cena counters into a somewhat weak FU off the middle rope for the pin. That ending came out of nowhere, kind of.

Rating: B+. It’s an excellent match and they were getting close to the heavyweight slugfest format but they weren’t able to get there with it ending like that. It needed a lot more near falls. Anyway, the match was good, although Lashley never really reached this level again afterwards. He would be “injured” by Kennedy 8 days later and hasn’t set foot in a WWE ring since as far as I remember.

Overall Rating: C+. This show worked pretty well and was a fairly solid B-level PPV with a very good main event. However, the rest of the card isn’t all that great. It’s not all that bad either so I’d call this show fine overall. It’s nothing that you’re going to want to go out of your way to see again, but the main event is good and while some of the matches are bad, they’re the shortest ones. Decent show and the best overall in this series so far.

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