No Way Out 2012
Date: June 17, 2012
Location: IZOD Center, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

The show is back after a few years’ absence with the main event in a cage. It’s Cena vs. Big Show with Cena and Ace’s respective jobs on the line. Other than that we have Sheamus defending against a fill in challenger in the form of Ziggler, as well as Bryan vs. Punk vs. Kane in what should be a solid match. This card has the potential to be entertaining which is more than I would have said about Over the Limit. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: David Otunga vs. Brodus Clay

Otunga attacked Clay’s knee on Friday to set this up. Chimmel says Otunga is from Larvard Hart School. Brodus’ knee is taped up but he pounds Otunga into the corner very easily. Striker says that Brodus has an MCL sprain. Otunga finally uses that Larvard Hart brain and goes after the knee. He hooks a DDT onto the leg and a chop block gets two. Otunga gets the knee tied up in the ropes and hits a neckbreaker for no cover. Off to a front facelock but Brodus powers out of it. Brodus hits the headbutt to the chest and the suplex to send Otunga to the floor where he takes the countout at 5:45.

Rating: D+. The match was ok despite the weak ending. I guess this is going to continue which at least means Brodus has something to do. It would seem like they’re setting up Big Show vs. Brodus, likely at MITB, so putting him against another Ace crony makes sense. This got the fans going though which is the point of a match like this so it accomplished its goal in that regard.

The opening video of the PPV is about Big Show vs. Cena and their whole backstory.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

They do big match intros which at least makes this seem like it’s important. To be fair though there’s no story here and Ziggler is filling in so I can’t complain that much about it opening. Vickie kisses Ziggler on the cheek and Sheamus tries the Brogue Kick ala Wrestlemania. Ziggler gets to the floor and looks terrified. Back in and Sheamus takes over with a headlock onto the mat. Dolph gets up and hits a sweet dropkick to take Sheamus down.

That gets Ziggler nowhere though as Sheamus runs him over. The sleeper is quickly broken up as Sheamus sits him on the top rope (not in the corner), so Ziggler slaps him in the face. They go to the floor as the champion is fired up. Sheamus grabs the arm for a bit but Ziggler escapes to the top. His cross body is easily caught and an elbow to the face puts Dolph back down again.

The ten forearms are broken up and we get the rare apron fighting. Ziggler pulls the weakened shoulder into the post and Sheamus is slowed down for the first time in five minutes. A DDT gets two back in the ring for the challenger. Ziggler takes it to the mat and hooks a chinlock including the handstand. Sheamus breaks the hold but his Regal Roll is countered into another DDT for two.

The fans are chanting for Ziggler now. Back to the chinlock which was running long earlier on. Sheamus counters out of it but gets caught in a rollup with a hand on the ropes for two. Off to a modified crossface chickenwing with a bodyscissors by Ziggler but Sheamus powers out of it again very quickly. Brogue Kick misses and Ziggler grabs the sleeper which is quickly broken.

Dolph goes up but Sheamus “catches” him. I think it was supposed to be a slam position into a fireman’s carry but Sheamus dropped him. Sheamus shows off his brain though as he shifts to an Irish Curse position instead. That was a good save by the champion. Ziggler escapes White Noise and hits the Zig Zag for two. Sheamus pulls himself to the top but Dolph hits an X-Factor off the top for two. ANOTHER sleeper attempt is countered into the Irish Curse and there are the ten forearms. The sleeper is easily countered into White Noise and the Brogue Kick keeps the title at 15:04.

Rating: C-. This was working at times but the constant chinlocks/sleepers hurt it a lot. They were on different pages in there at times and it really brought things down. This wasn’t a bad match or anything but the chemistry was off the level that it usually hits for these two. The fans popped big for the Brogue Kick though and that’s the right idea. Good stuff considering it was a replacement match.

Vince is here and finds Ace in a red suit. Ace thinks there’s no need for a man with a concussion to be here. Show is guaranteeing victory so there’s no need for Vince to be here. Vince doesn’t say anything and walks into his office, shutting the door in Ace’s face. Josh comes up to talk to Ace, sending Johnny into a rant about how he has work to do tonight and tomorrow, so leave him alone.

Santino Marella vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

This is a tuxedo match and the logical conclusion to the feud between these two. Ricardo has his own music now which is much faster and perkier than Alberto’s. Both guys present themselves to the crowd to start and Santino seems to be the favorite. Ricardo makes first contact by ripping the pocket off. Santino: “THIS IS MY ONLY TUXEDO!” He rips Ricardo’s sleeve off and we get a few atomic drops.

Ricardo loses his jacket and it’s time for some bullfighting. Santino’s jacket is ripped up too. A drop toehold lets Santino get the shoes off and we get a LOUD boring chant. There goes Ricardo’s shirt and jacket but he comes back with a jawbreaker. Santino loads up the Cobra but Ricardo throws the sock into the crowd. He takes Santino down and removes the pants….revealing a Cobra sock. Santino kicks him in the neck and removes the pants for the win at 4:25. Ricardo wears Del Rio underwear.

Rating: D+. This was a comedy match and while it was funny at times, I’m with the fans. This belonged on Raw or Smackdown rather than second on a PPV. Hopefully this ends the feud or lets Alberto get the US Title off of Santino. It would do both of them some good, as Del Rio needs to be seasoned some more before he bores us in the main event.

Punk says he has no relationship with AJ and that he’ll overcome the odds tonight. AJ comes up and kisses him for good luck, but he says luck is for losers and leaves. AJ glares at Josh for some reason.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes

Christian is defending in this Over the Limit rematch. Feeling out process to start with Cody taking him to the mat with some kicks to the ribs. Christian comes back and sends Cody into the corner for a stalemate. Cody goes to the apron and tries to suplex the champ to the floor but gets dropped onto the apron instead. A dropkick to the floor puts Cody down but he comes back by ramming Christian into the apron.

Back in and Cody starts in on the arm but Christian slides to the floor. He tries to crotch Cody on the post but gets pulled into the post face first. Front suplex gets two on Christian and Rhodes pounds away in the corner. Off to a short arm scissors, but wasn’t it Christian’s ankle that was hurt on Raw? Christian goes up but Cody knocks him down and the shoulder hits the apron on the way to the floor.

Cody follows him out but walks into a tornado DDT off the steps to put both guys down. Back in and a dropkick gets two for the Canadian. Cody gets put into 619 position but Christian’s uppercut misses. Christian’s top rope cross body is rolled through, getting two for Cody. Cody reverses a victory roll but takes FOREVER going up. Another tornado DDT gets two but Christian is hurting.

Cody hits the Alabama Slam for two but walks into the reverse DDT. The champ loads up the spear but Cody drops to the floor. Back inside the sunset flip out of the corner is countered but Christian hits the Killswitch….for two. Frog Splash hits knees but the Disaster Kick misses. Killswitch is countered into another missed Disaster Kick, letting Christian spear him down to retain at 11:30.

Rating: B-. As much as I can’t stand the spear as a finisher anymore, the ending sequence was pretty freaking good with both guys hitting everything they had until Christian got the pin. That was a great false finish on the Killswitch and the fans were totally buying into Cody as a real threat after that. This was better than I was expecting and hopefully it lets Cody move on to the main event.

Usos vs. Titus O’Neal/Darren Young vs. Epico/Primo vs. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd

#1 contenders match, even though Epico and Primo already were #1 contenders. The crack production staff cuts away from Rosa dancing to show us AW giving Epico and Primo a pep talk on the pre show. Young and O’Neal are officially the Prime Time Players. That used to be my fantasy football team name so I’m liking them more and more. Booker: “They’re a little bit fruit bootyish if you know what I mean.” I think this is one fall to a finish with tags.

Titus and Jey starts things off but it’s quickly off to Young. You don’t have to tag your partner here either. Jimmy comes in quickly with a double chop for two on Darren. The Usos tag again and Epico tags himself in off a staggered Young. Jimmy hits a Bubba Bomb on Epico who tags in Justin for some reason. Justin and Jimmy hit a stalemate, followed by a Gabriel headlock.

Jey comes in and it’s the double Samoan Drop for two. Rosa yells a lot as Titus tags himself in for two on Justin. Off to Darren as Gabriel is in trouble. Justin gets in a kick but Primo tags himself in to prevent the hot tag. Epico hits a dropkick for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Apparently automatic rematch clauses expire after 30 days. Ok then. Epico hits rolling belly to back suplexes for two and it’s back to Primo.

He misses an elbow and there’s the tag to Kidd. Tyson fires off kicks and hits a suplex on Primo. Things break down a bit and the springboard elbow drop hits knees. Things break down even more and the Usos dive onto Titus and I think Epico. Young tags himself in but Tyson knocks him off the apron. In a SWEET spot, Kidd ranas Primo onto the other pile of people on the floor. Young and Primo are legal and the fireman’s carry into the gutbuster give Young and O’Neal the pin at 9:33.

Rating: C. For a bonus match, this was fine. Titus and Young are as good as a set of challengers as you can ask for right now and since there are more face teams on the roster than heels, it would make sense to give them the belts so we can have some more challengers. Decent stuff here and it’s good to see something resembling a division existing.

AW jumps ship to the winners post match. That fits him WAY better.

MITB ad, which is about Del Rio having all kinds of money. These ads featuring the wrestlers are a nice change of pace.

We recap HHH vs. Lesnar/Heyman, which is Brock Lesnar, the biggest PPV draw in the company, being used in a legal angle. And people wonder why the ratings are dropping over the summer.

Here’s HHH to address the situation, minus anything visible on his arm. He talks about how he’s spent over half of his life in the ring because he loves it and has never wanted to get a real job. Now he has a real job and it’s a corporate one. He hates having to do all of this corporate and legal stuff because he’s a fighter. That gave him an idea: Lesnar is supposed to be a fighter too, and HHH’s arm is healing. It should be healed somewhere in the middle of the summer. So how about we get rid of the lawyers and Heyman and get down to Lesnar vs. HHH, say at Summerslam? HHH wants it there and that’s it.

Bryan is in the back when AJ comes up. She says they’ve been through a lot but he says this isn’t the time. There’s still a part of her that hasn’t gotten over him but she doesn’t expect him to do anything about it. She wishes him luck and kisses him on the cheek, drawing a smile from him as AJ leaves.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla grabs Beth’s waist to start but Beth gets the rope. Beth shoves her down and basically shouts a promo at her, talking about how she’ll win the title tonight. Layla gets the headband off Beth and mocks her poses. Layla takes her down and dances as Beth gets in a fetal position. End this NOW, please. The champion goes to the apron and kicks Beth in the face, only to get sent to the floor. Back in the Glam Slam is escaped so Beth shoves her down. Beth hooks a backbreaker and bends her over the knee. Layla climbs the corner (botching at the same time) to counter the Glam Slam before hitting a cross body out of the corner for two. A powerslam gets two for Beth but her press slam is countered into a DDT for two. Layout out of nowhere gets the pin at 6:56.

Rating: D. This match was one of the worst I’ve seen in years at first and then upgraded to bad to end it. The division is rapidly reaching new levels of horrible as we had about two minutes to build this match in the course of a month. Terrible match and Layla is really lacking since she’s gotten back.

AJ goes up to Kane but doesn’t have much to say. Kane grabs her arm and kisses her which she doesn’t seem to mind.

Hunico vs. Sin Cara

These two just can’t get away from each other can they? They speed things up to start and Hunico dropkicks him down. Cara snapmares him to the floor but his suicide dive is countered by a kick to the face. Back in and Hunico chops him down in the corner followed by a slingshot dropkick. Off to a chinlock as Cara is being grounded here. The fans want Ryder as Hunico hits a powerbomb for two. Cara hits a pair of headscissors followed by some kicks and the spinning mat slam gets the pin at 5:47.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Smackdown match. Cara is getting the same treatment a lot of people get anymore with these random wins over people that don’t really matter. It keeps him on TV though which is more important than almost anything short of giving him a story. This wasn’t horrible but it couldn’t be more of a filler match if they tried.

We recap the Raw triple threat which revolves around AJ. Bryan almost beat Punk last month and demanded a rematch, so Punk said cool. Kane beat them both on Smackdown so it’s a triple threat. AJ is involved because she’s psycho and awesome and may be in love with all three of them. She’s the wildcard here.

Raw World Title: Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending of course. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Kane goes after Punk so Bryan kicks Kane. Uh….ok? Double chokeslam is broken up and they both kick the monster down. Stereo dropkicks put Kane down but they get in a fight over the cover as is the tradition in triple threats. They slug it out with Punk taking over, backdropping Bryan to the floor. A suicide dive by Punk is broken up by a Kane clothesline which gets two.

Bryan knocks Kane to the floor so Punk dives on both guys to take over. Kane stays on the floor and pulls Punk outside. He sends the champion into the barricade and uppercuts Bryan to block the knee from the apron. Kane bends Punk around the post and kicks him in the head for good measure. He sends Punk into the corner and fires off some knees to the head followed by the low dropkick for two.

Off to a bodyscissors which Punk quickly elbows his way out of. Bryan is back in and hits a running dropkick into the corner on Punk, but he jumps into the claws of Kane. Kane shrugs off a clothesline but a drop toehold sends him into the buckle. A kick sends him to the floor and it’s the small guys one on one again. Bryan goes up but gets caught by Punk. The champion loads up a superplex but Kane breaks it up. He breaks up a second attempt at one and Punk’s trunks come down for a second.

Kane tries the superplex now but Punk breaks it up. Bryan gets tired of waiting and hits a dropkick to both guys for two each. Both guys are on their knees so Bryan fires off kicks to both guys. A big kick to Kane’s head puts him down but Punk grabs a rollup for two. Kane gets in the corner and both guys take running knees. Neckbreaker gets two on Kane as Bryan makes the save. Snap powerslam gets two for Punk and he goes up for the Macho Elbow. Bryan tries a superplex but gets caught on Kane’s shoulders. Punk plays Hawk in a Doomsday Device but only gets two on Bryan.

A horrible looking Macho Elbow hits Bryan but since this isn’t Raw, it only gets two. Kane comes in before we can get the GTS and sends Punk to the apron. The champion hits a high kick but the Macho Elbow misses Kane. Bryan hits a Swan Dive on Punk for two. He low bridges Kane and knocks him to the floor but Punk rolls him up for two. A big kick to the head knocks Punk down and there’s the YES Lock. Bryan CRANKS on it but he cranks too hard, giving Punk a rollup for two ala Over the Limit.

GTS hits out of nowhere but Kane breaks up the cover. Kane comes back in with the top rope clothesline to Punk but the chokeslam is countered into a DDT for two. This time the Macho Elbow hits Kane but Punk can’t hit the GTS. Chokeslam kills Punk but it only gets two. Dang I thought that was it. Kane yells at the referee and sets up a tombstone. Punk escapes and AJ is on the apron. Kane gets sent into her and the GTS hits for Punk to retain at 18:16.

Rating: B. I was really digging this one although AJ continues to be almost a red herring. She was only there for about five seconds and Bryan was gone for the last five minutes of this. Still though, it’s good to see Punk retain as he continues his very long run as the #2 guy on Raw. Good match here though as they used Kane perfectly.

By the way that officially gives Punk the longest reign since Cena’s year long run in 06/07.

Kane carries AJ off and she has a very evil smile. Punk smiles back at her and I think something is afoot. Punk celebrates long enough that his song restarts.

Ryback vs. Dan Delaney/Rob Grymes

The jobbers say they’ll win and be in the main event of…..and they sing the Wrestlemania X song, complete with old school Mania music. I like these guys already. Double Samoan Drop, 1:30. Ryback shouted to give him three while he was holding them up. I hope that’s not what we get stuck with for the next few weeks.

The theme for Summerslam is Be A Star. Oh good grief.

The cage is lowered.

We get a LONG recap of this feud, which is basically Cena feuding with Ace because he’s the boss and Ace being somewhat corrupt. Show was brought back to keep Ace’s job so now the job is on the line again after Vince wanted to fire Ace but didn’t for some reason. Vince got “punched” in the “head” on Monday and has a concussion. If Cena loses tonight he’s fired and if Show loses Ace is fired.

Big Show vs. John Cena

You can win by pin, submission or escape. Vince and Ace are at ringside. Show shoves him down to start and then into the cage. Cena goes into the cage again but the WMD hits the wall. There’s the big chop in the corner as this has been all Show so far. Cena gets in a dropkick and goes for the door but is almost immediately pulled back. Show clotheslines him down and runs his mouth a lot.

Cena gets rammed into the cage again as this is a total squash so far. Show fires a punch into Cena’s ribs and walks around a lot. He crushes Cena in the corner and stands on the neck in front of the door. Cena FINALLY gets his feet up in the corner to slow Show down and a bulldog gets one. Cena gets up on top of the cage but Show pulls him back in. They both get on the top rope but Show gets crotched.

Instead of charging out the door as fast as he can, Cena fires off a shoulder block to ram Show into the cage. Cena climbs the cage like an idiot and gets powerbombed into the cage wall. Well he deserved that. A regular powerbomb gets two as does a Vader Bomb. Show grabs him by the throat and climbs to the top rope while still holding Cena’s neck. He picks Cena up off the mat to the top and drops him down to the mat. Seems counter productive but whatever.

Show drops an elbow off the top but Cena rolls away to prevent a bad case of death. The ring literally shook as he landed. Show tries to crawl out the door and gets his hand on the floor but Cena pulls him back in. Cena goes for the door but gets pulled back in as well. Chokeslam is countered and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Cena goes for the door but Ace knocks the referee down. Vince stops it but Ace shoves Vince into the door which goes into Cena’s head. Chokeslam gets two.

Show loads up the WMD but it hits the referee of course. AA is avoided and Show hits the WMD on Cena. Show is the only one up and there’s no referee. He goes for the door but Brodus Clay is waiting with a chair. Doesn’t that mean he’s fired now? Instead Show starts to climb and Brodus rolls his eyes before stepping two feet to the left so he’s in front of Show again.

Show is frustrated so Brodus waves out Riley and Santino, guys that Show knocked out. They get knocked down so Brodus waves out Ryder. Kofi comes out and gets to the top of the cage and knocks Show to the mat. Cena crawls towards the door but Show grabs the leg. They go back into the ring and the AA puts Big Show down. There’s no referee as Cena covers so he climbs up instead. Brodus has the door covered but Ace blocks Cena’s way out. Brodus goes over and subdues Ace so Cena can escape and win at 19:48.

Rating: C-. This had about 10 minutes of action in a nearly 20 minute match. The ending made sense and was overdone, but it was probably better than the other alternative. Cena winning was the pretty obvious choice but I can’t imagine Ace is going to be gone for more than about two weeks or so. The match wasn’t what I would call good but it was ok I guess. The laying around got REALLY boring though.

Post match Vince fires Ace and Cena gives Ace an AA through the table, because that’s just the kind of guy he is.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t what I’d call a bad show but it was pretty underwhelming. Ace getting fired is good at the moment but I can’t imagine it’ll be a lasting decision. The triple threat was by far the best match of the night but it’s clear that the injuries and suspensions are crippling these guys at the moment. Clearly the solution is to have more squash matches because we COULDN’T just bring someone else up on the roster right? Passable show but it’s nothing great at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2001
Date: April 29, 2001
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,592
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

 

I’m not doing Backlash just yet but I’m coming up on this one in the Raw 2001 reviews so I figured I better knock it out so I don’t have to do it later. There are two big matches here as we have Benoit vs. Angle in an Ultimate Submission match (iron man match, submissions only) and HHH/Austin vs. Kane/Taker in a match where are the titles are on the line. Let’s get to it.

 

Opening video talks about how he who has the gold has the power. Fitting start considering the main event has all the titles in it which is rather stupid indeed but whatever.

 

Dudley Boys vs. X-Factor

 

Six man tag here with all three Dudleyz vs. X-Pac, Credible and Albert. Dang they go from one of the most famous tag matches ever to a six man opening a PPV four weeks later. Brawl to start with the Dudleys clearing the ring. They launch Spike onto Pac and Credible on the floor which is always fun. Spike and Credible start us off with Spike getting a crucifix for two.

 

Off to Albert who counters the Dudley Dog to take over. Back to Justin and the white socks of fear. Powerbomb out of the corner gets two as this crowd is red hot. Double tags bring in D-Von and Pac and Albert cheats, allowing Pac to kick D-Von’s head off to take over again. X-Factor minus Pac puts D-Von’s balls against the post as this is a rather fast paced match.

 

Pac gets two off a legdrop and we hit the chinlock. D-Von tries a comeback but walks into a Boss Man Slam to keep him down. Off to Albert who hits a pretty sweet delayed butterfly suplex for two. After a double clothesline it’s hot tag Bubba who cleans house on all three guys. What’s Up to Justin and it’s table time. Albert kills D-Von though and the distraction allows Credible and Pac to hit a double superkick on Bubba for the pin.

 

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener here with some fast paced stuff. They got the crowd into the show (ok so this is Chicago so it’s not like it was that hard) and the ending worked. Nothing wrong with having heels win the opener as the match was good enough to get the fans over it. Also the lack of feud prevents the whole emotional damage.

 

X-Factor tries to put Bubba through a table but due to the laws of wrestling, Pac goes through it instead.

 

The Duchess of Queensbury, a guy in drag, is here for the match later with Regal and Jericho. This was one of those weird ideas that isn’t talked about after this show. Regal in a collared shirt and trunks is a weird looks.

 

Angle says he’s confident and that’s fine.

 

We get a clip of Jerry Lynn winning the Light Heavyweight Title on Heat with a handful of tights which was rather surprising.

 

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Rhyno

 

Rhyno is champion. This is considered one of the best hardcore matches ever so let’s see if it lives up to its hype. Rhyno tries a Gore immediately but Raven drop toeholds him into the stop sign. Trashcan shot gets two. Rhyno takes over with a running shoulder in the corner and the beating begins. Raven gets a trashcan up to block a running charge but it hurts him even more. He falls out to the floor and gets covered for two.

 

Rhyno sets up the steps and puts Raven in a chair. He tries a run up the stairs to set up a dive, only to crush the chair. Raven uses the same setup but gets a clothesline off the steps for two. Back inside for half a second as Rhyno takes over again. Raven gets his head taken off by a trashcan lid and a sign shot gets two. Back into the ring and Rhyno hits him with a shopping cart. Whatever works I guess.

 

Drop toehold puts Rhyno into the cart and down he goes. A bunch of sign shots take Rhyno down and a LOUD one does it again. Bulldog out of the corner gets two. Rhyno picks up the shopping cart but Raven gets a trashcan shot in to have the cart fall on Rhyno for two. Cart goes into Rhyno’s ribs but Rhyno gets a sign shot in to get two. Momentum shifts back and forth a lot in this match. Rhyno tries the Gore into the shopping cart but misses and Rhyno is stuck inside the cart. We go to a replay of it and during that the Gore ends Raven. That fits the move as the move is supposed to come out of nowhere, which it did there.

 

Rating: B. Well they were right, this was good. The key thing here is it never got silly. This was more about violence than the weapons if that makes sense. Most of the time there would be comedy spots in something like this but here, it was all about the violence and the brutality out there, making for a far better and more entertaining match.

 

We get a clip from Smackdown where Shane read a book called Shane and the Beanstalk to Big Show. Funny stuff here. The idea of the feud is that Vince is mad at Shane for being all rebellious and for destroying him at Mania and buying WCW, so he sent Show out to kill him. That one piece swimsuit was deadly indeed. The story is actually kind of funny. It’s last man standing by the way.

 

Shane is about to talk but Stephanie comes up and says he should apologize to Vince. Stephanie, you look great, but your acting is uh….bad.

 

Austin gets here.

 

Coach tries to find out the rules of the Duchess of Queensbury match. The Duchess doesn’t know who Coach is. Regal breaks it up and yells at Coach.

 

We recap Regal vs. Jericho with the exact same video from Mania. Basically Regal is commissioner and Jericho said he was boring so Regal tormented him. This is the second match and no one knows the rules of this match but Regal. Gee, think there’s a swerve coming?

 

William Regal vs. Chris Jericho

 

Either Regal got taped up in record time or that Duchess thing was taped earlier. This is a Duchess of Queensbury Rules match. He brings out the Duchess after some donkey-hole chants. The Duchess has the whole old school British stereotype stuff on. There’s even a throne there for her. Jericho makes fun of Regal pre-match. There’s the bell and there’s still no idea what the rules are. Technical stuff to start as Jericho speeds things up. Out to the floor with Regal being besmirched a lot.

 

Back into the ring and the missile dropkick misses, giving Regal the advantage. Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long. Regal goes up but Jericho gets a dropkick to slow him down and a rana to bring him back down. Lionsault hits and the bell rings before the count even begins. That’s the time limit for round one so the match has a break. Regal immediately grabs a rollup for two.

 

Jericho misses a dropkick and Regal hits a slingshot to send him into the top rope throat first. The Englishman hits a German to the Canadian as the Oklahoman complains. Regal Stretch goes on but Jericho grabs the rope. Jericho rolls through a rollup into the Walls and Regal taps immediately. And if you really believe that’s the ending, you have no business reading this. You can’t win by submission apparently, which clearly explains why Regal had the hold on a few moments earlier.

 

Jericho goes after the Duchess and Regal pops him with her scepter. It’s No DQ of course though, because that’s how the Duchess rolls. That only gets two back in the ring as Regal takes over again. Butterfly suplex gets two. Enziguri takes down Regal and Jericho stomps a mudhole in the corner. Jericho sets for the Walls but kicks Regal in the balls instead. Regal heads to the floor and a baseball slide sends Regal’s face into the Duchess’ royal vagina. The Duchess goes into the Walls and Regal pops him with a chair three times to end it.

 

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as the ending was about as obvious as you could ask for. Also, this doesn’t really mean anything given that Jericho isn’t champion anymore. Granted the Alliance was coming soon so all of this would be forgotten. Not much going on here but it wasn’t terrible, just stupid.

 

Vince tells Show to hurt Shane.

 

We recap Angle vs. Benoit. Do you really need an explanation here? It’s an Ultimate Submission match with Benoit and Angle. There’s your explanation.

 

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

 

30 minute time limit, most submissions win. Angle says Chicago is full of fat sweaty pigs and needs winners. He makes fun of the city which is kind of funny. There’s a thirty second rest period between falls. After some feeling out stuff to start, Angle takes it to the mat and Benoit is all cool with that. Ankle lock doesn’t work so Kurt hits the floor to think for a bit.

 

This is going to be a long one as the clock is on the screen the entire time. Back in the ring and Angle takes Benoit down which gets him nowhere. Back to the mat again and this time to the floor. Benoit gets the Crossface out there and Angle taps but they’re outside so it doesn’t count. Five minutes in and no falls yet. Angle tries to bring in a chair as we stall a bit. With half an hour I can understand that though.

 

Back in and Angle is holding his shoulder a lot. And never mind as he was faking since he charges straight in and grabs the ankle lock for the quick tap. You could argue Benoit tapped early to prevent further damage but it still looks kind of weak by Benoit. Angle works on the ankle/knee but charges into a Crossface attempt. That doesn’t work so Benoit shifts to a cross armbreaker to tie us up.

 

Benoit rams Angle’s shoulder into the post and there’s the armbreaker again but Kurt leans forward to avoid a lot of the pressure before making the rope. Shoulder breaker by Benoit and he goes after Kurt, only to take out the referee at the ten minute mark. Angle gets a chair shot to the head and the ankle lock makes it 2-1. Angle jumps him during the rest period and you can’t really DQ him I guess.

 

Angle puts on a Crossface seconds later to make it 3-1. Maybe 10 seconds between the end of the rest period and the tap. Kurt hammers him some more and rams his face into the announce table. Benoit backdrops Angle to the floor but doesn’t take the time to breathe. Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post but Benoit’s everything goes into the steps. Ankle lock goes on but it’s still on the floor, meaning Benoit tapping doesn’t mean anything.

 

We go back in with fifteen minutes left and a 3-1 lead for Kurt. Benoit avoids a cross armbreaker by Kurt which wastes some time. Off to an abdominal stretch which Benoit counters into another cross armbreaker attempt but he can’t get the tap. Out of almost nowhere Benoit gets a Sharpshooter, only for Kurt to make the ropes again. A German is countered into a half Liontamer by Benoit (he used it before Jericho in WCW) for the tap to make it 3-2.

 

Kurt heads to the floor and it’s time to play defense. Benoit catches him pretty easily and sends him into the steps. Kurt tries to run again and the fans aren’t thrilled at all. With ten minutes to go Angle catches Benoit coming in and they slug it out a bit. Benoit can’t get back in for a bit and Kurt stomps him when he does. Angle hits a snap suplex back inside and keeps trying for the ankle lock.

 

Out to the floor again and they chop it out. Back in and Benoit gets a dragon screw but can’t hook the ankle. Benoit misses a dropkick and Angle locks in some freaky looking hold before going to a chinlock. Five minutes left as Benoit gets his arm up before a third drop. With four minutes left Benoit breaks the hold with a jawbreaker. And never mind as Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline.

 

Belly to belly by Kurt which is scary considering how long they’ve been out there. Another hits with three minutes left. Benoit manages to grab some Germans but gets reversed into an ankle lock which he reverses into an ankle lock of his own to tie it up at 3 with just over two minutes to go. The clock keeps running during the thirty second rest. Chop block by Benoit with 1:20 to go. Minute left and it’s German time again. Low blow by Kurt breaks that up but the ankle lock is broken quickly. Ankle lock goes on fill with 8 seconds left and we’re done. Benoit taps after the bell ends in a draw.

 

Just like in 96 though with Shawn and Bret, it’s time for some overtime, first submission wins it. If it continued though, why wouldn’t the tap just after the bell have ended it? Angle hammers him and the fans aren’t thrilled with him. They go to the mat and Angle grabs an abdominal stretch down there. There’s a Crossface out of nowhere and Angle taps for the ending. Like Benoit was losing in sudden death.

 

Rating: B. It was entertaining, but the main idea of Benoit vs. Angle is all about having them go back and forth with insane counters until one of them finally gets caught in something. That was taken away here and it brings the match down a lot. To be fair it’s still good but by comparison it’s definitely not as good.

 

Taker is mad at Kane but we can’t hear them. HHH and Stephanie are watching and say they’re coming up with excuses for tomorrow on Raw.

 

We recap Shane vs. Show which we’ve been over already so I’ll spare you from repeating it.

 

Big Show vs. Shane McMahon

 

Show hits the ropes a few times before Shane comes out. Shane comes out to a version of Here Comes The Money here. He has that stupid book with the fable in it with him also. Shane hides under the ring but pops out with a kendo stick to get in some solid shots. Big old clothesline takes him down though and we head back into the ring. Shane gets some solid chair shots and finally takes Show down.

 

Shane goes to the floor and gets a bag. He puts a surgical mask on and some gloves before grabbing a rag to put over Show’s face. This works for the most part and Show goes down to his knees. Now down to his stomach. The fans are completely behind Shane here. At about five Vince runs down and pops Shane with a chair. Show, ever the genius, pulls Shane up at about 8.

 

Final Cut puts Shane down again as we wait around more while the referee counts. That’s a large portion of most last man standing matches and it takes too much most of the time. Show picks him up again and drops him with a chokeslam. He picks Shane up again despite Shane being mostly dead. Torture Rack goes on but here’s Test to pound on Show. They had a thing on Smackdown so this works.

 

Show beats him down also and the big men go to the floor. Up towards the stage and Test gets in some weapon shots to slow him down a bit. Show beats on him some more and here comes Shane again. After some sign shots by Shane, Show finds a pipe from somewhere. Shane climbs the set to escape and Show goes after him. Test pulls him down and beats him up, allowing Shane to hit a HUGE dive, as in literally 25 feet or so to crush Show with an elbow. Test holds Shane up with a boom mic and we’re done. That spot was insane beyond belief.

 

Rating: C. You can only get on Shane so much for these, but the whole thing is basically Show beats on him, Shane is dead, Show picks him up, repeat. That took twelve minutes somehow. The big spot was cool but it didn’t really save the match. Also the replays showing that he totally missed didn’t help.

 

Vince is ticked off about Shane so Stephanie gives a badly scripted speech to chill him out. Vince declares HHH his only son.

 

Steve Blackman is at WWF New York and is impressed by the big dive. Grandmaster Sexay pops up to make me want to go on a shooting rampage.

 

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. Christian vs. Eddie Guerrero

 

Matt is champion, having beaten Eddie sometime between this show and Mania. Apparently it was three days ago. Good to know. Matt fights off a double team to start and that doesn’t last long at all. Matt is tossed to the floor so Christian jumps Eddie as a result. Powerslam gets two for the Canadian. Eddie snaps off a rana and pounds on Christian a bit more. Matt back in now and everyone is down.

 

Matt takes Christian down with a clothesline for two. Eddie is off somewhere, probably looking for a taco. Ah there he is and he pulls Matt to the floor, only for both of them to be taken down by a baseball slide by the Canadian. Matt gets a tornado DDT on the floor but is pulled back in by Eddie who hits a brainbuster for two. There goes Matt’s shirt and there go the teenage screams.

 

Christian saves Matt from taking a rana for some reason and Matt drops Christian onto Guerrero. Matt takes over and Christian accidentally takes out Eddie. Middle rope legdrop gets a big pop and a close two on Eddie. Edge pops up out of nowhere to spear Matt in the aisle and toss him back in for two for Eddie. Edge gets in but here’s Jeff to cancel him out. Unprettier to Eddie but Jeff mostly misses a Swanton to rbeak that up. Twist of Fate ends Christian and Matt retains.

 

Rating: C. Just kind of there really but this could have been on Raw. That being said, it was pretty good for a buffer match between the big ones as only the main event is left. Not a horrible match at all but at the same time it wasn’t all that great. Just kind of there which isn’t something you want on a PPV. I’ve seen worse though.

 

Ad for WWF New York.

 

We recap the main event. Basically HHH and Austin are the monster heel team with Vince in their corner and they destroyed the Hardys for fun. Taker and Kane are their first real challengers and are tag champions. HHH is IC Champion and it’s one of those matches where all the titles are on the line and whoever gets whatever fall gets whatever title.

 

WWF World Title/Intercontinental Title/Tag Titles: HHH/Steve Austin vs. Undertaker/Kane

 

Kane has a bad elbow/arm here so that’ll likely play into the ending. Oh and if HHH wins he’s a Grand Slam Champion. The heels stall a lot and Austin can’t even throw his vest into the ring. There’s the bell and it’s time to go. Kane gets a shot into HHH’s head and we stall even more. HHH finally gets in alone and down he goes again. They’ve been on the floor about three minutes now.

 

Finally the tall dudes go out to the floor and the slugout begins. HHH goes into the announce table as Austin and Taker are actually in the ring now. They switch off with HHH and Kane in the ring now. No idea if anyone is legal yet. Kane chokes both guys but his arm is hurting. Ok so HHH and Kane are the official starters now. There’s the jumping knee and down goes the big fried freak.

 

HHH brings in Austin but Kane gets the tag and Austin tries to run. His reward is having a mudhole stomped into him. Taker destroys him for a bit and Austin offers a handshake. This is the guy that a month before was at war with Rock. Wow indeed. Taker reluctantly tags in Kane, which makes sense here. Back off to Taker and HHH and Old School hits. Old School to Austin also and Taker clears the ring.

 

The Two Man Power Trip tries to leave but Kane makes the stop. Back in the ring and HHH breaks up the Last Ride. Double mudhole is stomped into Taker in the corner and we head to the floor again. Austin vs. Taker now in the ring and make that HHH instead. The challengers (kind of) are tagging in and out rather well. Taker fights out of it and gets a DDT on HHH but won’t tag. Not can’t, but won’t.

 

Austin hits a Thesz Press but the middle finger elbow is caught in an attempted chokeslam. HHH makes the save but Taker gets a double clothesline to put all three guys down. Kane tags himself in and hammers on Austin. Another chokeslam is broken up by HHH and Kane avoids a Stunner. HHH finally wakes up and works on the arm. This is kind of a mess. Austin gets a chair shot to the arm and it’s an ARMBAR in the ring by the Game.

 

Kane’s face is pounded on a bit more but Kane reverses to pound on Austin a bit more. HHH makes another save as it keeps seeming like this is a handicap match rather than a regular tag. Top wristlock goes on which Kane fights out of again. HHH gets tossed to the floor where he’s able to break up a tag. Austin comes in sans tag and he and Kane botch something badly. It looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but Austin didn’t go down or anything like that.

 

HHH tries to comes off the top but Kane gets a foot up but still can’t tag out. He picks up Kane’s leg and Kane looks like he’s setting for an enziguri but he just hops for awhile and HHH takes him down. Pedigree hits and HHH tags out for no apparent reason. During the confusion Taker comes in and chokeslams Austin. Stephanie distracts Hebner so he shoves her down and counts two on Austin.

 

Kane hits the enziguri this time which makes me think they blew the spot earlier. The referee goes down for a bit and doesn’t see the hot tag to Taker. Taker pummels them both and it’s a Last Ride to Taker but he’s not legal a minute after being tagged in. Low blow by Austin to Taker and a Stunner to Kane. Taker and Austin brawl into the crowd and HHH gets a tag title belt, only to get it kicked into his face. Chokeslam is loaded up but Stephanie comes in, only to get kicked in the face also. Vince runs in with a sledgehammer which HHH gets for a pair of shots to Kane, one in the head, for the tag titles.

 

Rating: D+. This was about half an hour long and the whole thing didn’t work for the most part. It was just a big mess with everything going all over the place and nothing of note going on other than the arm work. It was more about everyone doing random moves instead of a coherent match, which is rarely a good thing at all. Not a good main event.

 

Overall Rating: D+. Didn’t really do it for me here. Not really anything great at all on the whole card. There was some good stuff here but at the same time it didn’t work for the most part. The lack of titles other than at the end hurt it a lot as it usually does. The company fell down quickly after Mania and the Alliance only helped for a little bit.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2012
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show before Money in the Bank and things are pretty well set up so far. We have Bryan vs. Punk for the title on Sunday and Cena vs. Show vs. Kane vs. Jericho in the world title match. We’re also two weeks away from the 1000th show so expect a lot of hype for that as is the custom on these shows anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video from last week’s shows, focusing on AJ/Bryan/Punk. This is longer than your usual opening video.

Here’s AJ to open the show. She says she’s the guest referee on Sunday and she realizes she can affect the outcome of the match. That’s an overwhelming feeling, so she needs help introducing Punk. Cue the champ who wants to know what’s going on here. AJ says Punk showed his true feelings about her last week, saying that she needed help. She says she’s in full control of her mind and starts talking much slower.

AJ says that once Punk kissed her, she knew what she had to do. She gets all psycho looking again and talks about Punk’s eyes, which are currently glaring at her. AJ says those eyes send love into her heart and fill her with desire. Quote: “They turn me on.” Punk looks very uncomfortable with this. AJ says she knows what she has to do….and she gets down on one knee and proposes.

Bryan SPRINTS down the aisle and shouts NO. He says this would be the biggest mistake of her life and he can’t allow her to do this. Bryan talks about how Punk is playing her for the match on Sunday. He says he never stopped having feelings for AJ but Punk only cares about himself. Punk says Bryan knows nothing so shut up. Bryan tells Punk to prove it by saying I Do but Punk can’t do it. Bryan says Punk sees her as a special referee but Bryan sees her as a special person.

Daniel says he came here tonight not intending to stop a proposal, but to make one of his own. He gets down on one knee and asks AJ to marry him. Punk says hang on a second and says it’s a load. If he planned this, where’s the ring? Punk says he and AJ should go to the back and talk but Bryan starts yelling too.

Cue the Anonymous Raw GM who is in power tonight. Ok that was awesome. Cole is relishing the computer being back too. Tonight it’s a mixed tag with Punk/AJ vs. Bryan/Eve. Bryan says no because AJ is his partner but the GM says get over it. AJ says this is confusing and that they all need some time to think. The match is going to be good though because everything happens for a reason. AJ has a feeling she’ll walk out of the arena tonight with her future husband. LONG promo here but it got going eventually.

We recap Del Rio attacking and injuring Sheamus on Smackdown.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

Non-title of course. Swagger rams him into the corner to start but the Vader Bomb is caught in White Noise. Brogue Kick and we’re done at 54 seconds. You can’t say Sheamus isn’t efficient.

Del Rio is in the back in his car and says that Swagger is no Del Rio. On Sunday he’ll win the title. With that he starts his engine, so Sheamus kicks Swagger again.

Santino congratulates Ryder for winning the battle royal. Word is the Anonymous GM is in the building tonight so Sherlock Marella is going to find him.

Rock is confirmed for the 1000th Raw, live.

Dolph Ziggler/Tensai vs. Tyson Kidd/Christian

No intros for anyone here. Vickie is on commentary and Ziggler starts with Kidd. It’s quickly off to Christian who takes over on Dolph. The jumping back elbow out of the corner sets up a flapjack to Ziggler but it’s quickly off to Tensai. Sakamoto grabs Christian’s leg so Tensai can splash him in the corner and hit the backsplash for the pin at 1:30.

Post match Tensai powerbombs Kidd on the apron and hits a backsplash on the floor.

Cole talks about wanting the computer to be GM while Jerry wants Teddy to run Smackdown and Foley to run Raw. Cole gets upset and throws a drink at Lawler, only to be saves by an e-mail. Michael won’t read it so Jerry says that tonight it’s himself vs. Cole. Cole freaks out so another e-mail says that there will be a poll on WWE.com to determine if the match takes place. Ok then.

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew jumps him to start and goes up, only to jump into the headbutt. Big splash and we’re done at 36 seconds.

Santino accuses Jericho of being the GM, so Jericho accuses Santino of being the GM. Santino says no and leaves. Big Show comes in to talk about the tag team match tonight against Cena/Kane. Jericho talks strategy, but Big Show yells about how much his time in Jeri-Show sucked. He says for Jericho to stay out of his way tonight.

Another Raw Moment is Stephanie faking being pregnant to get HHH back. HHH found out and snapped at the altar while they were renewing their wedding vows.

Here’s Cena for a chat before the tag match later. He talks about how the match is going to be a spectacle and about rising above everyone else, but more importantly than that, it almost guarantees you a world title. This Sunday is about more than an opportunity though, because he’s going to do two things: he’ll stop Big Show and he’ll do whatever he has to do to win the match.

John Cena/Kane vs. Chris Jericho/Big Show

Good to see Kane and Cena have made up after Kane tried to take him out a few months back. Cena and Jericho start and John destroys the Canadian as is his custom. Off to Big Show whose chokeslam is countered. Cena immediately runs off and tags Kane which looked wrong for him. The monsters pound away on each other and Big Show takes over. Things slow way down as Show knocks Kane down and brings in Jericho. Jericho walks right into an uppercut and there’s the tag to Cena. Show distracts the referee, allowing Jericho to get in a kick as we take a break.

Back with Show running over Cena and chopping him in the corner. Cena tries the FU out of nowhere but can’t hold Show up. He does however manage a suplex and it’s off to Kane, only to have him walk into a side slam for two followed by a spear for two more. Off to Jericho who stomps away in the corner and chokes on the middle rope. Kane is in trouble as Show adds in a chop and we take a second break in the same match. Back with Kane hitting a side slam and making the hot tag. Cena cleans house and hits the AA on Jericho, but Show pulls the referee out…..and that’s a DQ at 16:40. How is THAT a DQ?

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part and the ending was terrible. I like not having someone in the match or lose here, but dang man, can we get a better ending than that? This wasn’t awful and it built on the PPV match a bit, but there was nothing to the match at all over than filling in a lot of time.

Show beats up all three guys with ladders post match. Cena comes back and beats up Show with the ladder.

We recap the opening segment, as in reshow it.

Eve says AJ needs to hear the words I Do tonight or she’ll snap. Eve says Punk has been champion for seven months and he’s been second fiddle to a bunch of people. It must be emasculating doing it to AJ. Eve leaves and Punk is upset.

Santino finds a phone but it’s Khali’s, who can’t speak much English.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

This is for the Smackdown world title MITB match. Cara hits the Tajiri elbow to start but Slater pounds him down. Off to a chinlock but Cara counters with his signature wristlock out of the corner. A springboard crossbody puts Slater down and the spinning mat Slam sends Cara to the PPV at 1:42.

Slater wants any former champion to come down to face him. Cue Bob Backlund in wrestling trunks, looking about 20 years younger than he is. Slater gets in some shots but gets caught in the Crossface Chickenwing. Slater taps, even though this wasn’t a match.

The fans vote to have the match with Lawler and Cole. Cole rants about it as we go to a break.

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Josh and Booker jump in on commentary. Cole tries to run but Booker throws him back in. Lawler puts him in an airplane spin and wins at 56 seconds. They spent ALL NIGHT building to this and it’s a one move match.

And never mind as the GM changes the decision because of Booker’s interference. Cue Santino who says the only place the GM could be is under the ring. E-mail says no he isn’t. There’s no one under the ring sending e-mails, but Santino thinks that sounds like a clue. Santino goes to find out who it is and he gets pulled to the mat. Jerry helps him….and it’s Hornswoggle under the ring. Horny hits Jerry in the shin and bites Santino, but he kicks Cole too. Tell me he wasn’t the GM the whole time. Please. I need to hear that right now.

Daniel Bryan/Eve Torres vs. AJ/CM Punk

The guys start it off and Punk fires off forearms. Bryan comes back with the kicks in the corner but Punk hits a leg lariat to take him down. AJ tags herself in and that means Eve has to come in too. AJ takes Eve down but Eve comes back. A flipping splash hits AJ’s knees though and AJ pounds Eve down again, followed by a running dropkick to the head. Eve goes to tag Bryan but Bryan drops to the floor. A rollup pins Eve at 3:18.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than the always hot Eve and the psycho AJ. I’m not sure how this builds up to the PPV on Sunday but I guess that’s what the post match stuff is for. Bryan’s actions don’t make much sense but that might just be AJ rubbing off on him. This was barely enough to rate.

Bryan tries to convince AJ to leave with him but Punk says Bryan is trying to use her. Punk says that he doesn’t care what this costs him, but he isn’t going to marry her. At least he cares enough to tell her the truth. AJ looks at him and fights back tears before slapping him in the face. As you would expect, she slaps Bryan too and chants YES to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They covered a lot of stuff here, but MY GOODNESS there were some big wastes of time here, namely the GM stuff. That very well may have been the worst show long angle in the history of the show, and that’s covering a lot of ground. There was some good build to the PPV, but dang man this was hit and miss all night. Also most of the matches being short didn’t help anything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 9, 2006
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

This show can be summed up in three words: Live Sex Celebration. Edge shocked the world last night by cashing in the first Money in the Bank Briefcase to win the world title from Cena after Cena retained in the Elimination Chamber. Tonight, Edge and Lita are going to celebrate by having live sex on Raw, which is more or less the biggest nightmare that Linda McMahon wants to keep in her political closet. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the show last night. I remember talking to a huge Cena fan who I went to school with and freaking her out the next day by telling her what happened. This recap goes on for like five minutes too.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He’s still mostly a rapper here so he talks about how life is full of choices. Last night Edge had a choice to make and he won the WWE Championship because of it. Tonight the fans are making choices, including those that have made the choice that he sucks. He’ll stand with all the people that love him and for the people that hate him, they can kiss it. Tonight, he’s cashing in his rematch clause and he wants Edge right now.

Cue Lita who was in her VERY hot period. She says Cena doesn’t get his rematch tonight because of “oral persuasion” she gave to Vince, so the rematch is at the Rumble. Apparently the only wrestling Edge will be doing tonight is with her, in the ring tonight. It’s going to be a threesome with the two of them plus the title. See, Edge actually knows what to do in bed. Cena says he’ll see Edge at the Rumble.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Trish is defending but Mickie psycho at this point, so she demands that the fans cheer louder for Trish. Wait Ashley is challenging. So why is Mickie there at all?

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Ashley Massaro

Trish is still defending. Ashley grabs a headlock to start and grabs a quick headscissors. It’s clear that she’s not ready to be in the ring for an extended period of time yet but she’s getting the basics down I guess. Ashley hits a kind of bulldog for two but it causes Mickie to snap and come in for the DQ. Psycho Mickie was awesome. Lillian screws up and announces Trish as the winner.

RVD will return in the Royal Rumble. He had been out for most of a year.

Cena is getting ready in the back when Vince comes in. Vince talks about great those first time things are, such as the first time Edge won the title last night and the first time for Edge vs. Cena at the Rumble. Then he talks about the Live Sex Celebration which isn’t his idea either. Cena seems to like the idea, but Vince says if Cena interferes he loses his rematch. Before he leaves, Cena says there’s some evidence of Lita’s “oral persuasion” on his pants. Cena wasn’t quite ready to talk to Vince at this point.

Carlito is getting taped up for his match later when Masters, his partner, comes in and grabs him by the shirt. Masters yells about the loss last night and blames Carlito for it, as Carlito screwed Masters over while he had Cena in the Masterlock. That really was pretty stupid of him when you think about it. They have a tag match later.

Rob Conway vs. Chavo Guerrero

Royal Rumble qualifying match. Conway runs him down to start and poses ala Chavo. Chavo comes back with right hands in the corner as I have to question who thought this match was a good idea. I get that Chavo was getting a push recently because Eddie died but do we need to see him qualify against Rob freaking Conway? Chavo tries to skin the cat but gets kneed to the floor.

Conway works on the back on the floor and Chavo is in some trouble. Back in and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in the back. An Eddie chant brings Chavo back and he kicks Rob to the floor, followed by a pescado to take him out. Chavo pounds away and dropkicks him down for two. Conway rolls through a spinning cross body out of the corner for two as the announcers discuss the live sex celebration. Rob mocks Eddie’s chest slap to really make him hated but his suplex is countered into Three Amigos and the Frog Splash gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was in essence a squash match that took awhile. Did we really need to see Chavo Guerrero qualify for the Rumble? This was one of the downsides to Eddie’s death: Chavo getting pushed because of it. Chavo is a talented guy but at the end of the day, there’s nothing of note to him. The match was pretty weak here too. Oh and in case you were wondering, Chavo would last 59 seconds in the Rumble.

The Wrestlemania Big Time Moment is Edge winning MITB. Seems appropriate for tonight.

Shawn is in the back when Angle comes in. Kurt is mad at Shawn for superkicking him out of the Chamber last night. Shawn says he did it because Angle busted him open. They’re a team tonight so they need to forget about last night. Apparently a match against Carlito/Masters is bigger than a world title match in the main event of a PPV. Ok then Shawn. Shawn wants to know if he can trust Angle. Angle shows off his medals and asks if he can trust Shawn. Kurt mentions something about a zero tolerance policy.

Shelton and Mama Benjamin are here with Mama running into Val Venis. She recognizes him from some of his movies but can’t place him. He lists some titles and is told where he’s going when he dies. This was one of those questionable choices they made around this time, as Mama Benjamin is a comedian in a fat suit.

Chris Masters/Carlito vs. Shawn Michaels/Kurt Angle

Shawn and Angle argue over who starts the match so the other team jumps them. Angle sends Masters to the floor so it’s Shawn vs. Carlito to get us going. Carlito gets taken to the mat via a headlock and things settle down a bit. Shawn pulls the hair which is a bit more evil than it usually would be due to the massive afro that Carlito has. Off to Angle who gets a big response here in Pennsylvania. He hooks a headlock of his own as Daivari (Angle’s manager) yells a lot.

Carlito finally hits a suplex but Angle runs him over with a clothesline for two. Shawn comes in and gets a good reaction in his own right. It’s quickly back to Kurt who takes Masters down with a headlock. That’s a popular move tonight isn’t it? Masters fights up and hits a powerslam but the Masterlock is countered into a release German. Angle misses a charge into the post and Carlito knocks Shawn to the floor as well.

We take a break and come back with Carlito stomping on Angle in the corner. Angle finally snaps off an overhead suplex to get himself a breather and it’s a double tag to bring in Masters vs. Shawn. Shawn slams him down and hits the top rope elbow for no cover. He loads up Chin Music but Carlito makes the save. Carlito comes in legally now and hooks a chinlock. Shawn is bleeding a bit over the eye.

The Backstabber stops a Shawn comeback but Shawn hits a backdrop out of nowhere. Angle walks away from the tag though and Shawn is in trouble again. Shawn breaks the Masterlock before it goes on and DDTs Masters down. Angle walks away from another tag attempt to check on the shine on his medals. Shawn superkicks Kurt down which counts as a tag apparently. Masters throws on the Masterlock which gets the win via knockout. Daivari gets a superkick too.

Rating: C. This was the main event style tag match but it was more about furthering Shawn vs. Angle which is more than fine with me. This would continue an incredible series between the two which saw them stealing almost every show they were on. Carlito and Masters would self-destruct soon after this without many people caring. Carlito had a ton of potential but it never really went anywhere.

Vince comes up to Shawn in the back and says that was the real Shawn. He makes Shawn vs. Kurt for next week to end their feud once and for all.

We get some stills from last night where HHH used a sledgehammer to beat Big Show.

HHH says it’s funny that Cena lost the title to someone that meant nothing a week ago. That was a big change, but the one constant around here is him. He warned Big Show that he would get hurt if he came after HHH and that’s what happened. Now it’s time to go to the Rumble and then to Wrestlemania.

Vince’s Devils (Torrie, Candice and Victoria) are in a bed in the back. Ok then.

Last night after the win, Edge and Lita said they would have sex on TV tonight.

Clip of Stacy Keibler on Dancing with the Stars.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Val Venis

Another Rumble qualifying match. Val takes over to start but Shelton hides behind his Mama. Back in and Shelton works over the back to take over. Off to a chinlock which Val fights out of pretty quickly. Mama shouts that Shelton better win here. Val comes back with a half nelson slam and small package for two each. A spinebuster looks to set up the Money Shot but Shelton rolls away and grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two. Val gets a cradle out of the corner for two as Mama keeps shouting. She stabs Val in the tights with something, allowing Shelton to hit the Exploder for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a comedy match that forgot to be funny. It was a common thing both then and now to see the company trying to be funny and probably amusing themselves, but for the masses, this comes off as really stupid and unfunny. Hey look, a stereotypical fat black woman yells a lot and gets a win for her son. This totally makes me want to watch more of the show right?

Royal Rumble ad, with the theme of Ancient Rome with Vince as Caesar. This guy’s sexual fantasies would scare me to death.

Kane vs. Snitsky

Rumble qualifier, Snitsky assault, Kane no sells, chokeslam, pin, less than a minute.

Kane says that’s the first casualty on his way to Mania. There will be 29 others at the Rumble, which isn’t the error that I thought it was.

Edge arrives and is met by Lita.

Here are Edge and Lita for the Live Sex Celebration. Edge says that the champ is here and that no one saw it coming. He outsmarted everyone and cashed in when no one expected it. To be fair that’s true, as this wasn’t a total cliché like it’s become now. Edge says that in this industry, you don’t have to be the biggest or the toughest, but you do have to be the smartest. He was patient, just like he was with Lita. He took everything he wanted and last night he did that again.

We get a highlight reel of Edge’s past set to Right Here by Staind. It’s actually a decent recap of his career. That brings us to last night but they didn’t have sex. Edge wants to do it right here live on Raw. We get the special music and they take each others’ boots off. Lita’s top comes off as does Edge’s. The skirt and pants come off next so they’re in their underwear. Edge throws her down in front of him so she’s bent over and there goes her bra. They go under the covers and we get a full on shot of Lita’s breast. Edge takes her underwear off and Lita seems to go down a bit.

And here’s Ric Flair because who wants to see Lita right? He calls Edge a disgrace to the title and says he’s dead in the bed. Flair dances down the aisle as Edge puts his pants back on. Flair chops him to the floor but gets his head cracked with a chair. Say it with me: Flair is busted open. Edge loads up the announce table and puts the chair on it before going to get another one. There’s a Conchairto for Flair and Cena finally runs through the crowd to make the save. Edge runs off so Cena goes and looks under the covers at Lita. Smart man that Cena. Lita takes an FU to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Ok the wrestling here pretty much sucked, but this was ALL about Edge vs. Cena. If I remember right, and I could be wrong, this show did one of the highest ratings in years, which is to say that Edge was a popular choice as champion. The Live Sex Celebration may be the second pinnacle of his time in WWE, which is saying a lot all things considered. This was a big moment, but unfortunately Cena got the title back just three weeks later, as they didn’t trust Edge at Mania yet. Still though, this is more about a memory than a great show, which is ok.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 26, 1998
Location: Kohl Center, Madison, Wisconsin
Attendance: 10,220
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re another step closer to Survivor Sereis here and hopefully for Vince his month of terror ends. At the moment Austin is still fired so odds are we’re going to get some updates on his career options tonight. Also there’s a chance we’re going to get some of the brackets for the tournament at the PPV. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince and company to start and there’s a band setup in front of the Tron. Austin is here apparently and Vince holds him responsible for everything that happened last week. Vince doesn’t like the people and wants to know where they were when Austin was doing all this stuff last week. My guess would be they were here in Madison while Austin and Vince were in Milwaukee but maybe I’m missing something.

Vince goes over the stuff he was made to do last week, including ruining a perfectly good Armani suit. He’ll never forgive Austin for what happened last week. As for the letter that Austin gave him last week, it was a legal document. Austin better take stock of himself before he goes further. Austin pops up on screen and says Vince should take stock in adult diapers.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Steve Blackman

Apparently Chyna has taken a leave of absence from the company until her legal issues with Henry are over. The match is after a break and as we come back, Vince is telling his guys to look into the document that Austin gave him last week. He wants it broken. Blackman kicks Pac down to start and hits a side slam to put him down even longer. Off to the chinlock followed by a flying clothesline by Blackman. This has been a squash so far. Steve Regal comes out for no apparent reason and beats down X-Pac. The Outlaws come out and it’s a big brawl. The match is thrown out and was too short to rate, but it was nothing of note.

Vince is talking to his lawyers again and says they wrote the document so they can break it.

Cole is outside Austin’s locker room and we’ll hear from Austin after the next match.

Darren Drozdov vs. The Rock

I don’t see this being incredibly competitive. Rock is officially in the tournament. He takes Droz into the corner and pops him in the face to take over. Rock and those sideburns are so over it’s unreal. Droz armdrags him down and puts on an armbar, which has to be the highlight of his wrestling career. Sunset flip gets two for Drozdov until Rock realizes he’s The Rock and he’s facing Darren Drozdov. A low blow puts Droz down and they slug it out a bit. A powerslam gets two on Rock but a middle rope shoulder misses. Rock Bottom, Elbow, done.

Rating: D+. See, this is what you NEVER get anymore. This was a match for Rock to get on TV and get a win over a guy that has no business beating him. This doesn’t hurt Droz because he doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t lose anything by getting beaten up by Rock. Also, Droz got in some offense so it wasn’t even a squash. Can you imagine Cena doing this with say Titus O’Neal? Of course not.

Hawk gets left behind again.

Austin has been advised not to say anything tonight. “We” will have a statement later on though.

Vince’s meeting is over. Vince doesn’t get something apparently.

Here are the Outlaws for the celebrity appearance of the week. The band equipment was for Motley Crue who the Outlaws and Pac will perform with. They perform and that’s about it. The only wrestling related thing here is a bodyguard they have named Test.

Vince yells some more, talking about a contract and opportunities.

Kane vs. Gangrel

Kane is in the tournament also. Christian is at ringside and it doesn’t really mean much at all. Kane runs him over and is apparently popular now. Christian’s interference doesn’t do much good as Kane hits the top rope clothesline and the chokeslam gets the pin. Total squash.

Christian dives off the top at Kane but it only staggers him. He and Gangrel can’t do anything to slow Kane down but Edge makes it 3-1 and they get him down. Kane sits up and the group that would become known as the Brood runs.

Cole tells us that after the break, we’ll hear from the McMahon Family.

Here’s Austin who doesn’t know why Vince is so mad at him. He told the cops that the gun was a toy and he told Vince that there wouldn’t be any pain. Austin told Vince he wouldn’t feel anything and he didn’t, so maybe Vince should believe Austin when he says something. Or maybe he shouldn’t. Austin pulls out a paper which he says is a new contract, which guarantees him at least one world title shot. The only way he’s leaving is if he quits, and that isn’t happening.

Here’s Vince with his cronies who yells at Austin and says that Austin is in a match tonight whether he likes it or not. Austin points out what the fans are chanting at Vince which ticks Vince off even more. Vince closes his eyes and hates the way Austin got his contract, however that was. He talks about driving a wedge between something….and here’s Shane in the ring. Vince has no idea what’s going on but Austin hands Shane a mic and seems calm with it.

Shane says he doesn’t listen to Vince anymore and that he’s a stockholder in this company. He hired Austin back to get Vince’s attention. Shane goes into a huge rant about how nothing he ever did was good enough for Vince. It was always about Vince and how to get his ego stroked. Shane was always called Vince’s Boy instead of Shane and he’s sick of it. Shane is a man now and he’s no longer Vince’s Boy. Vince and Shane are both about to cry so Patterson hugs Vince. This was a big moment as this was more or less Shane’s national debut other than being a commentator on Heat.

Post break Shane is leaving and Austin throws him a beer.

Tiger Ali Singh vs. Godfather

Godfather runs him over to start and Singh runs to the floor. He sends Godfather into the barricade but gets his leg sent into the apron. This is much more a fight than a match. Back in and Singh works on the arm a bit but Godfather clotheslines him down. The move that would become the Ho Train hits Singh and but he comes back with a bulldog for one. Godfather dumps him to the floor and Babu gets shoved down. The referee goes down too and it’s thrown out.

Rating: D. For the life of me I do not get what they saw in Singh. The guy just wasn’t anything interesting at all and he was around for a few years. He’s the Million Dollar Man but the Indian version, which isn’t something I care to see at all. This was much more of a brawl than a match which is probably the best thing they could do here.

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

This is an eight man tag with the Oddities being the ICP teaming with Kurrgan/Golga. Golga starts with I think Funaki, who is blonde here. Teioh comes in and gets crushed along with Funaki in the corner. Taka comes in as well and all three of them combine to get Golga down. Togo joins his partners and all four drop elbows on Golga before it’s off to Kurrgan. Violent J comes in and pounds on Funaki as the embarrassing part of the match begins. Everything breaks down and the Clowns double team Funaki and throw the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D. The crowd popped for the Clowns but they always got on my nerves. They’re fine when they’re doing their JCP thing which is basically a big joke on the idea of wrestling, but when they’re taking up time on Raw to have fun imitating wrestlers, it gets annoying. The match was short though so it wasn’t that terrible.

Shamrock talks about his I Quit match tonight against Austin. He says he quits, and that’s the last time you’ll hear him say that tonight.

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Goldust takes him down with a clothesline to start and pounds away in the corner. He hits a slingshot belly to back suplex for two but Mero gets in a low blow while Jackie offers a distraction. Goldust comes back and hits Shattered Dreams for the quick DQ. Not much here.

Post match here’s Sable to talk to Jackie even more. There’s a challenge for Survivor Series and I guess Jackie accepts.

Mankind is confident that he and Snow can win the titles tonight. They argue over whose prop is dumber.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

Mankind is in the tournament as well. Snow starts with Gunn and gets press slammed for his troubles. Off to Mankind who waves as he comes in. Road Dogg comes in with a wide variety of punches followed by the shaky knee drop. Snow cheats and I think dances on the apron. After a brief beating on the floor by Snow, Roadie gets sent back into the ring for Mankind’s Shake Rattle and Roll. It’s as ugly as you could imagine it as.

Double arm DDT looks to set up Socko but Billy breaks it up. The challengers fight over Head but no one swings it. Billy and Mankind go to the floor as Snow hits the Snow Plow on Dogg. The challengers argue over whether to use Socko or Head for the pin and it lets Roadie roll Snow up to retain.

Rating: D. This was another boring match in a long running series of them over the last two weeks. The ending was the usual swerve as one team was dominating and the other wound up winning on a fluke. Then again that could be the case for almost every Outlaws match for a long stretch of time.

Post match Henry and D’Lo run in to beat up the Outlaws.

Snow has Socko and Mankind has Head until they trade back.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Austin

This is an I Quit match, so if Austin loses he’s done. Shamrock is in the Tournament too, giving us four of the sixteen entrants. Austin doesn’t have his wrist tape which is a nice touch as he wouldn’t be ready to go here tonight. Shamrock jumps Austin as he gets off the ropes to take over quickly. Austin fights back and finally gets the vest off. Shamrock gets dumped to the floor and it’s time to fight.

Ken gets rammed into the announce table and choked by a cord as Lawler is freaking out. Shamrock comes back and they go into the crowd. That goes nowhere so they head back to the ramp with Shamrock still in control. Back inside and Austin is in trouble, being sent into the corner. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken. There’s the Thesz Press but Brisco trips up Austin and gets beaten up for his efforts. Cue Mankind with the Claw on Shamrock and Austin adds a big chair shot to the head, giving Austin the win by knockout.

Rating: D+. These matches continue to be really dull. The I Quit aspect here was just a way to have Austin seem like he was in danger but it never got close to that at all. Like I’ve been saying with the majority of the matches lately from this time period: there’s not enough here to get me interested and the in ring stuff isn’t working at all for the most part.

The Stooges all get Stunners to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. These shows are suffering from the same problems they’ve been suffering from all year: when Austin and Vince aren’t on the screen, things aren’t all that interesting. Rock is still a work in progress and HHH is out with a knee injury. Other than that, there isn’t much going on here and it makes things less interesting to watch. The matches are just bad on top of that, with Russo being at his peak of insanity and bad endings. This would be the peak that would be made to look like 1986 AWA within a year of course but we’ll get to that later.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 19, 1998
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 12,157
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Judgment Day and we’re about to start the build up to Survivor Series. Last night Austin screwed over both Undertaker and Kane in the main event, resulting in his firing to end the PPV last night. So in other words Vince has gotten the final win over Austin and the war is over isn’t it? I’m sure we’ll never see Austin again right? It’s such a great and peaceful world on Monday Night Raw anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a big celebration in the ring complete with jovial music, confetti and the whole roster being brought down to the ring. Here’s Vince in his wheelchair to say that he has an announcement about the WWF Championship. We have no champion right now so on the night of the Survivor Series, there’s going to be a new champion due to a sixteen man one night tournament.

As for last night, Austin was fired and we get a still of his face last night. Apparently Austin muttered something about hunting season, which Vince interprets as him hunting for a job. If Austin EVER wants to come into an arena again, he has to buy a ticket. Firing Austin last night felt better than sex. No one in the ring is bigger than Vince so they’ll never cross the boss right? The Austin 3:16 stuff is now a collector’s item because it’s all about McMahon 3:16. As Vince is about to leave, we get a shot of Austin in what looks like the parking lot with a gun.

Back from a break and Vince sends Bossman to get his family to get them out of town. The Stooges stay with him and Vince wants the cameraman here to document everything. Austin is seen in the back polishing his rifle.

X-Pac vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock is the IC Champion and Pac is European Champion but this is non-title. DX hung out with Motley Crue earlier today. Shamrock jumps him to start and kicks him down almost immediately. A kind of snap Jackhammer gets two as we cut to Vince who wants additional security. Shamrock cranks on a front facelock and here come two rent-a-cops. They take Chyna out and cuff her while reading her her rights. I believe this is called an arrest.

Thankfully Shamrock was smart enough to have a hold on while that was going on so the angle didn’t distract from the match. Once they’re gone Pac comes back with some kicks bu charges into a powerslam for two. The Bronco Buster is broken up and there’s the belly to belly. There’s the standing rana from Shamrock but here comes Mankind. Ken pulls him into the ring but gets caught in the Mandible Claw. Shamrock suplexes his way out of it but walks into the X Factor for the pin.

Rating: C. The best word to describe this match is eventful. There was a lot going on here and the match was probably the least important of those things. Shamrock would continue his heel turn soon after this which would probably be the right move for him. The match was really just a backdrop for the other events.

Chyna is taken away in a cop car when two security goons spot Austin. They ask him to get out of the truck and look at his gun. Austin signs an autograph for the guards’ kids and they leave him alone.

Vince panics and sends the cop with the attack dog after him. Cop: “I didn’t come here to risk my life. Screw you.” Brisco goes to find out what’s going on. This is hilarious.

Headbangers vs. Darren Drozdov/Animal

The Headbangers have foam title belts on and do the Outlaws’ intro. Animal and Mosh get us going with Animal getting in trouble quickly. He comes back with a powerslam for two as the announcers talk about the guard dog. Droz comes in and misses an elbow drop so the Headbangers double team him down. He comes back with a sitout powerbomb and everything breaks down. Hawk claps in support and Droz looks at him for some reason, allowing Thrasher to roll him up for the pin. That was all on Droz but Hawk gets the blame.

Patterson goes to get Vince coffee but Slaughter and Brisco go with him, leaving Vince alone.

Post break Mr. Socko and Foley come in to see Vince. Vince is very relieved to see him for once, but Foley says he wants to get to know Vince and have a sleepover. The look on Vince’s face is perfect.

Here’s Undertaker with Bearer which is a recent reunion. Taker says that Bearer has come home to lead his Ministry of Darkness. He doesn’t really give a reason for it but says you should just get it. Bearer is someone with vision and someone who understands the power of the darkness. We have the beginning of a new era now and there will be a plague unleashed on the WWF which will never be understood. Bearer says he used Kane because he’s weak and it started eight weeks ago. JR calls Bearer a rotund demon. Taker says he set the fire that burned Kane, so here’s the big fried freak himself.

Kane pushes out a casket and uses the voicebox to challenge Undertaker to a casket match tonight. Undertaker doesn’t say anything but Kane says that he’ll rest in peace. That was abrupt.

Foley thinks Vince should rehire Austin so Vince, Austin, Mankind and Socko can be the new Kliq. And now let’s play Twister! That’s enough to make Vince snap and he throws Foley out.

Steve Blackman vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is more famous as the WWF debut of Debra McMichael as Jarrett’s new manager. They start fast and we’re told that we’ll have the casket match tonight. Jarrett takes him down quickly and goes up but gets slammed down for two. Blackman misses a kick and Jarrett hits a neckbreaker to take Blackman down for two. A DDT gets no cover but Jarrett jumps into a kick to the ribs. A bicycle kick puts Jarrett down and here’s the Blue Blazer to jump Blackman and drawing the DQ.

Al Snow tries to make the save but Head is distracted by Debra, allowing Jarrett to hit Snow with the guitar.

The phone in Vince’s room rings but he isn’t sure whether he should answer it. Thankfully the phone is mic’d up so we can hear Austin saying he’s coming for Vince.

Back from a break and Vince is on the phone with his limo driver. The driver doesn’t see Austin so he must be in the building. Vince is going to try to make a fast getaway but has to look around every door. He can see the limo but Austin is on the other side of it. Vince tries to get away but Austin tells him to freeze. Austin wheels him back into the arena while carrying a hunting bow and arrow. Vince screams for mercy so Austin rams the bad ankle into walls. Austin: “I used to work at a hospital.” They go into Vince’s office and the door is shut.

Back and Austin is interrogating Vince about whether he’s ever gone hunting before. Vince says he’s been on a safari once but he only took pictures. Austin asks if the knife he has could kill an elephant.

The Rock vs. D’Lo Brown

Rock has some weird techno remix of his music here which didn’t last long at all. We hear that the Nation is officially split as Rock takes over quickly. A swinging neckbreaker gets a big pop but no cover. Henry gets on the apron allowing Rock to hit Brown low. Brown makes a quick comeback but gets run over by a clothesline. Henry cheats a bit and Brown takes over again. Rock comes back with a DDT for two and it’s People’s Elbow time, but the chest protector prevents the pain. Brown jumps into the Rock Bottom though and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Rock was clearly about to become a HUGE deal and they needed to do this quick feud to clarify that the Nation was done. Rock would be in the tournament at Survivor Series which was certainly where he belonged. The match was nothing of note but it got Rock on TV and that was the important idea.

Henry beats up Rock post match and hits him with the splash.

Austin asks Vince if he wants to know how sharp the knife is. Vince doesn’t say anything so Austin jumps to his feet to scare McMahon again. Austin says he’s having a swell time but he’s going to take Vince tonight. Vince says Austin will never get away with this which Austin seems annoyed by.

Here’s Tiger Ali Singh to be disgusting again. He talks about all of the gross stuff Americans eat and Babu is grilling sausages. Singh says he’ll pay $500 to anyone that can swallow a kielbasa. A chick comes in to swallow it but here’s Godfather who is now a pimp. Apparently the woman used to be one of his ho’s so she isn’t eligible, because she’s a professional. Godfather and Singh brawl and are pulled apart.

Austin shoots arrows at a poster and Vince is forced to look at it up close. Austin makes him hum the Deliverance theme and wants Vince to squeal like a pig. Vince LOUDLY oinks and we take a break.

Back with Austin talking about the movie Misery. Vince has a board between his legs just like in the movie. Austin tapes Vince’s mouth shut and then to the chair. He’s going to find a hammer.

Mankind vs. Val Venis

Goldust kicked Val in the balls last night so Val’s grinding doesn’t work that well. Mankind shoulders him down to start and we get a crisscross. Val’s groin messes up on him though so we have to settle for a headlock. Venis hits his following knees into a Russian legsweep for two. The idea here is that Val can only do so much without hurting himself even further. He tries a running hip attack while Foley is in 619 position but injures himself again. The double arm DDT sets up Socko but here’s Shamrock to hit Mankind in the knee with a chair. Val falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was about Val Venis’ groin. You figure out why I didn’t like it.

Mankind beats up Shamrock post match. They fight into the crowd and Mankind hits him with a chair. Goldust pops up on the screen and tells Val that it isn’t over. Terri whispers something to Val and he panics and leaves her in the ring. I think you know where this is going.

Austin says this isn’t about physical pain but rather getting back at him for last night’s humiliation. Vince isn’t going to feel a thing. Now Austin wants to watch TV. He asks if Vince remembers the show You Bet Your Life. Vince gets to pick either Undertaker or Kane in the upcoming match. Vince picks Kane, so Austin says if Kane wins it’s the easy way, but if it’s any other outcome, it’s the hard way which is the Austin way. That’s a call back to the promo that started this feud.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Casket match remember. It’s a brawl to start with Taker hitting the jumping clothesline for a cover before remembering what kind of match this is. A running DDT puts Kane down and they both sit up. Kane gets knocked into the casket but he pulls Taker in with him. Taker DDTs Kane down into the casket but the lid is shut with both of them inside. They fight inside of the casket and break the thing apart. Both guys get out and Kane goes after Bearer. Kane chases him off but Taker pops him in the back with a chair. We’ll call this a no contest somewhere in here.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of this was but it certainly plays into the final segment of the show. The ending sucked bad though because the whole thing was like four minutes long. There was nothing here but it would only get a lot more complicated very soon, which would dominate 1999.

Austin wheels Vince to the ring while Vince is crying for mercy. After awhile of JR and Jerry talking, here they come. Vince starts to cry so we see a clip from earlier in the night where Vince talked about how the Austin merchandise would become collector’s items. Austin gives Vince a letter to read, saying it’s going to tick the devil himself off. He pulls out a gun and Vince’s eyes are crossing. Again, WHERE IS SECURITY? Austin pulls the trigger and a paper comes out saying BANG 3:16. Vince wets himself and gets Stunned twice to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is one of those shows that’s all about drama and storytelling and all that stuff. The wrestling here meant nothing but that was a very common occurrence back then. The Vince/Austin stuff is one of their more famous moments and would of course result in Austin being rehired very soon. I wouldn’t call this show good, but it was certainly entertaining which is the big idea at this point, especially when it was Warrior vs. Hogan over on Nitro at this point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: June 22, 2012
Location: 1^st Mariner Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’re past No Way Out and we have the same world champion in the form of Sheamus. We’re starting the build up to MITB as well so maybe we’ll have someone added to the ladder match here. If I understand it right we have eight people in it again, but I’m really not sure if they have enough people to put 16 guys in two ladder matches. Besides that’s too many in a single match anyway. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is this heat. It’s way too hot to be early summer.

Bryan vs. Kane later tonight plus Sheamus vs. Ziggler in a non-title match.

Here’s Teddy to open the show. Ace is officially fired and tonight, Mick Foley is in charge. Here’s Big Show instead though for a chat. He doesn’t care that Ace is fired because he didn’t care about him. Show doesn’t care about the fans either and now he can do whatever he wants. He congratulates Cena for the win on Sunday but doesn’t care about that anymore. Yep, another main event loss is being written off.

Instead Show is moving on to something, but the fans have to chant for Cena first. Since Show doesn’t care about them though, he’s moving on to the MITB match. He says there are no five men that can stop them, which is a great sounding thing as it might mean that there are only going to be six people in the match. Once he wins the case and cashes in, he’s going to be champion for as long as he wants to be. He’s going to win the title for himself instead of the people in the back or the fans, because it’s all about him.

Cue serious Brodus who is a little hard to take seriously when he has the girls with him. Brodus charges in and is immediately taken down by knee strikes. Brodus hits the headbutt and Show goes down fast. He pounds on Show in the corner but Otunga comes out and hits the bad knee to put Clay down. Show hits him in the knee a few times as the fans chant that Show can’t wrestle. The WMD leaves Brodus laying. Otunga gets in the ring and says someone should call Brodus’ mama. He’ll do it himself and tell Mama Clay that Brodus can’t get up. Otunga does the Carlton Dance and the Thriller Dance. Ok then.

Ryback vs. Frank Venanzia/Jared Walker

Booker says Walker is Brickhouse Brown’s cousin. There’s a name out of the past. Ryback calls them stupid a lot and powerbombs Walker onto Frank. Double Samoan Drop gets the pin at 1:43.

Foley is in the back with Yoshi Tatsu when Vickie comes up. She’s the guest GM of both shows next week. If Foley doesn’t behave, she’ll make him her assistant. Foley likes the idea and offers Khali as an assistant instead. Khali and Foley dance.

Bryan’s memorable Raw moment is Jannetty beating Shawn for the IC Title.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Non-title of course. Christian hits a shoulder block to take Del Rio down and hooks the sunset flip out of the corner for a fast two. Del Rio responds by kicking him in the head to take over but Christian sends him to the floor. The champ dives onto Del Rio as we take a break. Back with Del Rio holds Christian in an arm lock. During the break Christian’s shoulder went into the steps to start the attack.

Elbow drop gets two for Del Rio and he stays on the arm. A kick to the arm gets two. Alberto goes up but Christian gets in a right hand and a top rope rana for two. With Del Rio in the rope Christian hits his uppercut but the top rope cross body misses. The corner enziguri misses and Christian hits the tornado DDT for another two. The Codebreaker to the arm slow Christian down again but he shrugs it off and hits a missile dropkick for two.

The Killswitch is countered into a Stunner on the arm for two. Christian takes him down and loads up the spear but he charges into a kick to the face. Cross armbreaker is countered into a countered Killswitch. They go to the corner but Rodriguez interferes, allowing Del Rio to hit the corner enziguri and the Armbreaker for the tap at 6:14 shown of 9:44.

Rating: B-. So to be clear, Del Rio has now beaten both midcard champions in four days. Shouldn’t he still be #1 contender by default, or do they really need to have him crush the champions in order to get there? At least this wasn’t a 90 second long match like the one against Santino was. Christian is still solid here and I’ve been liking his face run a lot.

Cody comes out and beats up Christian post match because this feud isn’t done for some unexplained reason. Cody shouts that he is Smackdown and that Christian is stealing his time.

We get a recap from Raw on Monday with Bryan/Kane/Punk/AJ.

Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

AJ is guest timekeeper for this for no apparent reason. Bryan fires off kicks to the legs but charges into a slam. Kane pounds away but charges over the top by mistake. That doesn’t seem to matter much as he keeps beating on Bryan on the floor, only to get sent into the post. Bryan loads up the knee off the apron but Kane gets back inside instead. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s time for the kicks.

Kane comes back with his low dropkick for two and follows Bryan into the corner with a clothesline. Bryan comes back with more kicks but Kane grabs the leg. That gets him nowhere as Bryan sends him into the buckle. He slips coming off the top with the dropkick but a second attempt at it gets two. Kane gets all fired up and pounds away in the corner. Big boot looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan dropkicks the knee.

A hard kick to the head gets two for Bryan but his Swan Dive is caught in a choke. That gets countered into a failed YES Lock but the chokeslam is countered into a guillotine. Kane powers out of that too but Bryan gets the YES Lock. AJ rings the bell without a tap at 7:25. That gets waved off because Kane didn’t tap and the chokeslam gets the real pin at 7:54.

Rating: C+. I was getting into this at the end until we got to the psycho AJ segment of it which was also fine. The near falls at the end were getting good and I was wondering if Kane was going to tap or not, which is a good thing. Another interesting thing here is that Bryan is on the verge of being turned face by crowd reaction alone, which usually results in a monster push. This was a nice surprise.

AJ skips off of course.

Here’s Foley for a chat. He’s glad Ace got fired so he can come back for one night only in Baltimore. Cue Heath Slater to a big cheer from Cole. Slater complains about what happened on Raw with Lauper and Piper, but Foley says there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Foley makes a match for Slater here tonight though.

Heath Slater vs. Zach Ryder

You know, because the LONG ISLAND GUY couldn’t be on Raw in LONG ISLAND right? Ryder takes over quickly but Slater hides in the corner. He comes back with a neckbreaker for two but walks into knees out of the corner. Rough Ryder gets the pin at 1:12.

Foley and Ryder celebrate in the back but run into Sandow. He’s disgusted by what he just saw and says that Ryder has brought the WWE Universe down to new levels of stupidity. I guess Sandow has his first feud.

Usos vs. Prime Time Players

Darren and Jey start things off with the Uso taking over. They head to the corner and the brothers double team Darren. Titus avoids a double superkick and it’s off to Jimmy. Darren drives him into the corner and it’s off to Titus for some power. We hit the chinlock which Jimmy escapes pretty quickly. Hot tag brings in Jey but he and Darren go to the floor quickly. Jimmy goes up for the Superfly Splash but Titus pulls him down and hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 3:24.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the Prime Time Players getting another win is a good thing for them. With the tag champions being gone for awhile now until Truth’s foot heals, Young and O’Neal need to be built up as much as they possibly can. The match was nothing of note but it did its job pretty well.

Post break Epico and Primo jump the Players in the back.

Here’s Santino for Sign of the Night. Most of these signs suck. Some chick has an I Love Santino sign and he invites her into the ring. She’s dressed like Santino and their Cobras kiss. Then she kisses him and Santino faints.

Jerry Lawler likes Vince in the hospital. This is the third time I’ve seen this in a week.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Non-title here. Ziggler gets behind Sheamus to start but Sheamus easily powers out of it. Sheamus takes him down to the mat with a headlock followed by a shoulder for two. Ziggler gets a boot to Sheamus’ face and sends him to the floor. Dolph is hitting and running here which makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is diving at a power guy, resulting in him getting caught in a fallaway slam into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with the guys in the ring and Ziggler putting on a chinlock. They go to the floor and Sheamus sends Dolph into the steps but he stops to yell at Vickie. Dolph comes back with a sweet Fameasser off the steps to take over. Neckbreaker gets two as does an elbow drop. A quick sleeper is countered but Dolph dropkicks him down for two. Another neckbreaker gets two so let’s hit the chinlock again.

Sheamus breaks out of that one just as easily as he has all of the other ones. He starts running over Ziggler and loads up White Noise but Ziggler escapes into a rollup for two. Dolph comes back with a jumping DDT for two and Sheamus goes to the apron. He goes up top and knocks Ziggler out of the air when Dolph tries to run the ropes. The top rope shoulder gets two and there are the ten forearms in the ropes. Irish Curse is broken up but Ziggler charges into the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:00 shown of 13:30.

Rating: B-. I liked this one more than the PPV match. Ziggler used a lot of sleepers and chinlocks, but there’s something about him where you think that he could pull off an upset here. He can hit that Fameasser from anywhere and it would do him a lot of good to make that his primary finisher. This worked well though and for a TV main event, this was fine.

Overall Rating: C+. What an improvement over last week. This show felt like it was actually decent even though nothing really happened. The main event was good and we got another good match in Bryan vs. Kane. Above all else though, nothing was really bad and we got some good matches too. That makes this about ten times better than last week’s show which is the best thing that could happen for Smackdown this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 2, 1998
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,590
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these hasn’t it? We’re still building towards the Deadly Game tournament at Survivor Series which is another step in the feud between Vince and Austin. We have Shane as the top good guy now against Vince as Vince is still evil of course because his name is Vince McMahon. I barely remember most of what’s been going on here so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince vs. Shane.

Here’s Shane in the arena to a big pop. He says that the day after Survivor Series, Austin gets his title shot on Raw. Apparently Shane is in charge tonight. Here’s Austin and we cut to the back to see Vince arriving. He comes to the arena before Austin can say anything and says that he’s not going to retire. As the crowd tells Vince what they think he is, he says that Austin, Shane and the fans would love it if he left.

Well the only way he’s stepping down though is the day he dies. That’s very true I’d assume. When he dies, he doesn’t want anyone coming to his funeral because he wants to get straight to where he’s going forever. That’s where he’s been lately because of what Shane has been putting him through. Therefore, Shane is fired from his executive spot and now he’s a referee. If he’s bad at that, he’ll be on the ring crew where he started his career. As for Austin, he’s in the tournament at Survivor Series. In the opening round, he’ll be facing Big Bossman, Vince’s goon.

There’s a cage over the ring.

During the break, Vince yelled at JR and Lawler. Also, someone will be paying hard time tonight in that very cage.

D-Generation X vs. The Brood

This would be the Outlaws and X-Pac. This is being written the day after Raw 1000 so they’re pretty fresh in my mind. The Brood is Edge, Christian and the leader Gangrel. They may have picked the wrong guy to be in charge. Pac and Edge get us going and you know how fast that’s going to go. Pac kicks Edge’s head off for two but Edge comes back with a spinebuster.

Off to Christian who is in a long sleeve shirt for some reason which is really loose on him. It’s a pretty odd look but he hits a gutbuster to take over. Hot tag brings in Road Dogg for some shaking punches and it’s back to Edge. He DDTs Road Dogg and everything breaks down. The lights go out and it’s Kane time. He clears the ring and we’ll say it’s thrown out too soon to rate. There was nothing to see here.

During the previous break, Vince yelled at Cole. Today these roles would be completely reversed.

Hawk vs. Droz

Thankfully they’re just calling him Droz now. Last night these two got in a fight and cost the LOD a match to some team called The Hardy Boys. Hawk is drunk again. Droz jumps Hawk but Animal comes in and pulls him off. No match but Animal yells at Hawk a lot. Animal and Droz leave together.

Vince yelled at Cornette during the match. I’m sure there’s a shoot video about this somewhere.

Al Snow and Mankind have an argument…..I think. Mankind makes reference to a show called Real Secrets of Pro Wrestling Revealed, which was a documentary which was supposed to be a big deal but didn’t reveal anything most people didn’t already know.

Oddities vs. Mankind/Al Snow

Golga/Kurrgan here. ZZ Top is here. Mankind and Kurrgan start and we get a dance off until Snow jumps Kurrgan from behind. Off to Snow who has a bit less success. Snow fires off some kicks to the legs and Kurrgan goes down before Mankind comes back in. Golga comes in with a splash in the corner and an elbow drop for two. A side slam from Kurrgan gets the same as we’re told Vince is yelling at the Fink.

Mankind grabs a double arm DDT on Kurrgan and reaches for Socko, but he’s not there. Snow hits Kurrgan in the head with Head as Mankind leaves in panic. Snow walks into a bad Bossman Slam from Kurrgan. Snow makes both Oddities miss a few times but Kurrgan chokeslams him and the Earthquake gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a comedy match at times and a major upset at the end. Well maybe not major but still an upset. Kurrgan is a total guilty pleasure for me and when he’s in there with my all time favorite, what else am I going to say here other than it wasn’t all bad. This was nothing great but I had to like it a bit given who was in there.

Most of the roster was watching the show and someone is with them. Vince comes up and throws the guy out because he doesn’t have a backstage pass. His response: “I’m Shaquille O’Neal. I don’t need a backstage pass.” Vince leaves.

Post break Mankind is looking for Socko and thinks Vince can help him find it.

Steven Regal vs. Goldust

It’s the REAL MAN’S MAN! This is the result of an open challenge from Regal, who wants to fight a real man. Regal works on the arm but gets taken down with a shoulder block. Back to the arm for Regal but gets caught in a bad hiptoss. Regal comes back with some shots to the head and sends Goldust to the floor. Here comes Terri with a cigar. Back in and Regal pounds away in his usual clunky style. Goldie comes back with an uppercut and bulldog for two. Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams but here’s Kane for the throwing out of the match.

Rating: D+. The song alone keeps this from failing but the match didn’t work for the most part at all. By that I mean there wasn’t anything here and the focus was on Terri for all of ten seconds. Basically they were there for five minutes until Kane came out. Can I just listen to Regal’s song some more?

Kane goes for a chokeslam on Terri but suits come out. Tony Garea gets the chokeslam instead.

Here are the brackets for the tournament at Survivor Series:

Kane and Undertaker have byes to the second round.

Kane

Undertaker

The Rock

HHH

Goldust

Ken Shamrock

Mankind

???

Jeff Jarrett

Al Snow

X-Pac

Steven Regal

Steve Austin

Big Bossman

Mankind goes to Vince and Vince says Mankind can have something if Mankind doesn’t interfere in the next match. The gift: the WWF Hardcore Title.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Vince talked to Shamrock during the break but we didn’t hear what he said. BIG pop for Rock here. Before the bell, Vince comes out and says if Rock doesn’t win the title, he’s not the #1 contender, nor is he in the tournament at Survivor Series. Rock takes over fast and sends Shamrock into the corner before hitting an elbow to the chest while Shamrock is on the apron. Rock punches some more but gets elbowed down as the champ takes over.

They head to the floor and the Brahma Bull is in trouble. Shamrock stomps away and Rock goes into the steps as well as the announce table. Back in and Shamrock is relishing the fans hating him like they do. Rock comes back with a clothesline but he gets taken down by a hurricanrana and the belly to belly. Ankle lock goes on but Rock makes a rope, taking the smile off Vince’s face.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and Rock gets a very delayed two. Rock fires off right hands and ducks a high kick, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for two. The champ comes back with a powerslam for two but Rock gets a DDT for two of his own. Down goes the referee so Shamrock gets a chair. He swings at Rock’s head but hits the rope, sending the chair into his own head. People’s Elbow connects but there’s still no referee. Shamrock gets up and cracks Rock in the head with the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C+. These two always had some good chemistry together and this worked pretty well too. Rock would be thrown out of the tournament for this but since it’s the Attitude Era, I’ll put his time at being out of it at about 45 minutes. Good little match here and the ending makes sense given the story going on.

Vince tells Rock he’s out of the tournament.

Rock is mad.

Val Venis vs. Jeff Jarrett

Val has recently dumped his pregnant chick of the week Terri, saying it’s her problem and not his. This is a rematch from last night apparently. Feeling out process to start and Val hooks a quick abdominal stretch and a backslide for two. A spinebuster puts Jarrett down and Val does his running knees to the ribs. Val loads up the Money Shot but here’s the Blue Blazer for the DQ. Too short to rate but this was nothing again.

Some cops arrive and Vince wants Rock arrested.

D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry vs. Headbangers

The Bangers are dressed up like the Outlaws. Brown and Mosh start and apparently the winners get a title match at the PPV. Off to Henry and Thrasher and Thrasher has hurt his knee. Mosh cheats a bit but Thrasher can barely walk. Mosh comes in legally now as does D’Lo. Brown charges into a boot but he lures Thrasher in to prevent a Headbangers tag. Mosh charges into a bearhug from Henry and what we would call the World’s Strongest Slam. Big splash crushes Mosh but it’s back to Brown. A middle rope elbow misses for Brown and everything breaks down. The Bangers take over….and here’s Kane to end it.

Rating: D+. This was nothing of note other than a way to bring out Kane for the third time tonight. You know, I think we get it at this point. Anyway, there would be a triple threat tag title match at the PPV where the Outlaws would retain. Also, points to Thrasher here for gutting it out through an injury.

Kane breaks some people.

Rock is arrested.

Post break, Rock is still being arrested and Vince and company gloats.

Here’s Owen Hart dressed as himself in street clothes. He apologizes for injuring Severn a little over a month ago and states that he’s retired. Tonight though he’s here to hear from Severn in person. Here’s Severn in a neckbrace who says everyone knows Owen is the Blue Blazer, but Severn is here to tell Owen that he’s nothing but scum. Severn sounds like Goldust when he talks. Owen jumps him but Steve Blackman makes the save.

Severn is loaded into an ambulance and Blackman jumps Owen. The Blue Blazer comes in to beat down Blackman in a double team. JR has no idea what’s going on.

The cage is lowered.

Here are Vince and company. Vince wants to send everyone in the audience into the cage to serve hard time but instead he’ll just be wheeled down to ringside for now. To Patterson: “Straighten me out!” Patterson: “It’s not that easy. You’re heavy you know!” Boss Man is told to check the cage’s security with the Stooges. They all get inside and Vince says all he wanted was a cup of coffee. He tells the Boss Man to go and the Stooges and Slaughter get destroyed. Boss Man vs. Slaughter would have been a BIG feud in late 90/early 91. Vince tells Boss Man to rip off their clothes for some reason.

Austin finally comes out for the save to attack Boss Man and save the Stooges. Patterson, ever the nice guy, hits Austin in the knee with the nightstick and the beatdown begins. Shane comes out for another save but Vince tells Boss Man to let Shane go. Shane flips Vince off and here comes Taker. He goes into the cage and brawls with Austin with the Rattlesnake being too weak to fight back. Cue Kane for about the fifth run-in for this segment. Kane does his fire thing and the middle of the cage walls are on fire and it’s a three way fight to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There are two problems with this show. First of all, the matches went nowhere. There were seven matches on this show and ONE didn’t have a run-in or a DQ finish, and that match had one of the four people in it walking out. Second, nothing really happened here. Rock was thrown out of the tournament and we were told that Austin’s first victim will be Big Bossman. There’s nothing here for the most part and while the show went by fast, it wasn’t anything good or memorable at all. Bigger things were coming though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2012
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Cena is back tonight. That right there almost automatically makes the show better than it was last week. We have tonight and another week before No Way Out so it should be interesting to see what kind of build we get for those matches. Orton is gone so Miz has nothing to do which likely won’t be mentioned. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Big Show’s dominance over the last week.

Here’s Cole to interview Cena. Cole says that Cena was knocked out twice in 24 hours and it’s his own fault, because he tried to be a comedian instead of supporting Big Show. Cena says that Ace was a bully and he had everything ready to get rid of him and the new GM would have rehired Show. Cole says that Cena caused all this and says that Show is unbeatable. Cena says Show wanted more money and turned his back on everyone.

Now Cole thinks Cena is jealous of Big Show because Show didn’t lose at Wrestlemania, nor did he get beaten up by Lesnar for 20 minutes. Cole thinks Cena is overrated now and that Show puts us out of our misery that we’ve developed after watching Cena’s matches for the last few years. Oh and Cena can’t hit him. Cue Ace now who says that Cena gets to pick his own opponent tonight. Cena tries to pick Ace about 5 times but Ace says that he’s retired and Big Show is NOT here tonight. Cena picks someone that is uninteresting, overrated, and that JR says is being shoved down our throats every week. You know it’s Cole.

Post break Cole begs Ace for mercy but apparently the people want to see Cole get beaten up. Oh and don’t call him Johnny.

We get a clip montage to summarize the Sheamus Must Apologize story.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Cole is back on commentary. Ziggler starts fast and tries to take Sheamus down by the knees. Sheamus tries three Regal Rolls but only the third one connects, getting two. Dolph low bridges him but Sheamus pulls him to the outside. Sheamus blocks a ram into the post but Ziggler jumps over the steps that he gets whipped into. After a Vickie distraction, Dolph dropkicks him back to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler kneeing Sheamus down and working on the shoulder that hit the post during the break. Ziggler works it over a bit more and takes Sheamus down for two. Ziggler goes up and after fighting off Sheamus, hits a top rope Fameasser for two. Sheamus shrugs off the sleeper, hits White Noise and ends Ziggler with the Brogue Kick at 9:09.

Rating: C. Well that uh….happened. It wasn’t bad and it wasn’t great, plus it didn’t really solve or prove anything. Ziggler looked fine, but he’s needing to get away from Vickie I think. There’s just nothing there for him anymore and he needs to move on and do something else. Sheamus having to come from behind like this is a good thing.

As Sheamus is on the stage Del Rio jumps him and with Ricardo’s help, puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Ace asks some schmuck for his coffee when Otunga comes up and says that Vince is returning next week to evaluate him. Ace seems surprised by this, despite saying earlier that everyone was going to be evaluated.

Sin Cara vs. Hunico

Cara speeds things up to start and spins Hunico around and out to the floor. Slingshow sunset flip is escaped and Hunico kicks him in the head for one. Butterfly backbreaker gets the same. Off to the chinlock for a second and Cara escapes the spinning rack slam into an armdrag. Cara kicks him out of the corner and hits a top rope rana to take over. Handspring elbow puts Hunico down and after taking out Camacho, the spinning mat slam gets the pin at 2:30.

Cena’s favorite Raw moment is being drafted to Raw 7 years ago tomorrow.

Stan Stansky/Arthur Rosenburg vs. Ryback

It’s the same thing you’ve seen time after time. This match features more throwing people around and a clothesline to both of them at once. The double MuscleBuster/Samoan Drop gets the pin at 1:55.

CM Punk vs. Kane

There must be a winner. Cole is on the phone begging to be let out of the match. Before Kane comes out, Bryan comes out and gets on the announce table for some questions and answers. Has AJ gone completely delusional since they broke up? Will Kane destroy Punk tonight? Will Bryan win the title in three weeks? Yes Yes Yes. Kane powers him around but Punk uses the kicks to knock Kane to the floor for the suicide dive.

Punk hits the top rope double ax to the floor and we head back inside. Kane comes back with a knee to the ribs for two to take over. He pounds on Punk with sledgehammer shots and a legdrop for two. Punk breaks out of a bodyscissors and fires away with strikes but Kane throws him into the corner and out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kane holding a chinlock and uppercutting Punk down. Side slam gets two. Kane goes for the top rope clothesline but Punk knees him down. Another knee sets up the bulldog for two. Springboard clothesline gets the same. GTS is broken up and Kane boots him down for two. Punk avoids the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker to slow Kane down. Punk goes up but Kane uppercuts him.

The superplex is broken up and Kane is knocked back to the mat. Macho Elbow gets two and they go to the floor. Kane rams him into the table and with the referee distracted, Bryan fires off two kicks to the ribs. Chokeslam is countered by the High Kick and here comes AJ. She tells the referee what Bryan did so Bryan yells at her. Punk uses the distraction to dive onto Bryan, but he walks into the chokeslam for the pin at 13:49.

Rating: C+. I was digging this and I was really digging AJ in a cutoff Punk shirt and shorts. The ending works I guess but I’m curious as to where the whole AJ thing is going, which I guess is the idea. Kane being added into this would let Bryan get the title, but I’m not sure where they would go after that. Decent match though.

Post match Kane stares at AJ (as well as kicking Bryan down) and AJ smiles back at him before he leaves. Ok then.

AJ tells Josh she likes when men look at her. She pulls him by his tie and demands he look at her. AJ says he might be her type.

Cole begs Ace for mercy again.

Video on Big Show and all of the comedy stuff he’s done over the years and how he’s being serious now.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks

This is joined in progress with Hawkins vs. Kofi. The champs are all taped up because of last week. A jumping back elbow gets two for Kofi and it’s off to a hammerlock. Off to Truth who drops a leg on Hawkins’ arm before it’s off to Reks. Reks gets in a little offense but misses a shoulder. Off to Kofi for the Boom Drop on Hawkins but Trouble in Paradise only gets two because of Reks. Truth takes him out and the spin kick gets the pin on Hawkins at 4:02.

Rating: C-. It’s very clear that Kofi and Truth are pure filler and that’s about the best they’re going to get at this point. Then again having extra teams in there is a good thing, even if they are just Hawkins and Reks. The match wasn’t bad but with only a few minutes there’s only so muchthey can do out there.

HHH’s favorite Raw moment is him returning in 2002.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s 10:45 so this could mean a few things. Ace comes out and says that if Cena can beat this man, his match with Cole will be No DQ.

John Cena vs. Tensai

Yeah he’s not a Lord anymore. He’s also moving faster now which is good too. Cole of course cheers everything that Tensai does as the fans are mostly behind Cena. Cena comes back with a clothesline to send Tensai to the floor and Cole panics. Sakamoto gets in some kicks and Cena is down as we take a break. Back with Cena breaking out of a neck lock and hitting a middle rope bulldog for two.

Tensai takes him back down and it’s nerve hold time again. Cena gets knocked to the floor and Cole says he should just quit now. Cole slaps Cena and gets shoved down by Lawler as a result. Cena gets thrown into the steps and Cole rips into him for awhile. Back in and the butterfly suplex gets two. Backsplash misses and it’s shoulder block time. Protobomb sets up the Shiffle and Cole is very nervous. AA gets the clean pin at 9:04.

Rating: D+. Hopefully this sends Tensai back down to the midcard. The changes they’ve made to him have helped him a bit but at the end of the day he’s still Albert which means he can only be so good and so interesting. Cena beating him is the right call though because you can’t validate having him lose twice in a row to Tensai, especially not before a bit time PPV match.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s No DQ. Cole tries to run into the crowd twice but gets pulled back both times. Cena throws him into the ring and Cole says we don’t have to do it this way. He sucks up to Cena and then takes off his coat and tie, saying how he’s going to beat up Cena tonight. He pokes Cena in the chest and tells Cena to not forget his name. Cena rips the shirt open and chops him in the chest. There go Cole’s pants and Cena kicks him low.

He slaps Cole’s chest and back again before putting him in a chinlock. Cena demands an apology to Lawler about the Mania match which Cole gives immediately. Now Cole has to apologize to JR who Cole calls his idol. Cole has to admit his love for JR’s Barbecue Sauce. “It’s slobberknocker good!” Lawler just happens to have a few bottles of it with him and it gets poured over Cole.

Since it was hot, here’s a fire extinguisher to cool Cole off. There’s steam coming off Cole’s head. The AA gets loaded up but here’s Tensai with the Baldo Bomb. That gets two for Cole and he has a bit of a tantrum. Cole slaps Cena in the back of the head and yells a lot before charging with the fire extinguisher. AA counters that and gets the pin at roughly 11 minutes. I’m not rating this for obvious reasons but it did its job well enough.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s still not great but this was WAY better than last week’s show. Having less Big Show on this helped a lot and Cena being here at all certainly brought this one up a lot. The guy is just flat out entertaining and interesting which is more than most people on this roster can say. This helped me a lot with the build to No Way Out, and even with the iffy ending, I liked this about 200% more than last week’s show.

Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Hunico – Spinning Mat Slam
Ryback b. Arthur Rosenburg/Stan Stansky – Double MuscleBuster
Kane b. CM Punk – Chokeslam
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Trouble in Paradise to Hawkins
John Cena b. Tensai – Attitude Adjustment
John Cena b. Michael Cole – Attitude Adjustment

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 12, 1998
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 10,632
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and Austin is back tonight I believe. Vince is going to be mad after the whole rape thing that happened last week. Anyway tonight main event is Austin/Rock vs. the Brothers, which has to be awesome based on star power alone. Rock is rising quickly and along with Austin is going to take everyone with him. Let’s get to it.

We recap Vince’s plot to get the title off Austin over the last five or six weeks.

Vince drove himself here tonight. This isn’t a good idea for him as you’ll see later. The Stooges help him into his wheelchair.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Animal/Darren Drozdov

Hawk is here too, sitting in on commentary. It’s strange to hear him without the over the top voice. Hawk is officially the alternate at this point due to his past issues, but he says he’s cool with that and that he’s sober. Droz and Roadie get us going and the champs take him down for some double teaming. The DOA, LOD’s opponents on Sunday, jump Hawk at ringside. Animal goes to the floor and it’s a big brawl. Now the Headbangers come in and break a boombox over Roadie’s head. The Bangers have a match with the Outlaws on Sunday apparently. The match is thrown out.

HHH has been stripped of the IC Title due to a knee injury so tonight there’s a one night tournament for the title. No entrants are announced yet.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman is returning from an injury for this match. It’s an eight man tournament. There’s actually a history here, due to a brawl from two months ago. Shamrock starts fast and hits a powerslam before heading to the injured knee. Blackman is in trouble early on and gets caught in a Robinsdale Crunch of all things. Blackman tries a quick comeback but it’s ankle lock time and Shamrock advances. Basically a squash.

Post match the Blue Freaking Blazer jumps both guys and runs away. Shamrock puts the ankle lock on Blackman again.

Undertaker is arriving in street clothes. Vince is intrigued.

We get a retrospective of Goldust to play up his return tonight.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Marc Mero vs. Val Venis

The girls that would become PMS are at ringside too. Val runs into a drop toehold to start but he grabs the arm a few seconds later. Butterfly suplex gets two. Mero comes back with a DDT for the same. Someone has arrived but JR doesn’t know who it is. Terri distracts Mero and the fisherman’s suplex gets the pin for Val to advance.

Jackie beats up Terri post match.

Paul Bearer with a briefcase was the arrival. Vince isn’t pleased.

We hear about Sable on Pacific Blue last night and Sable goes after Jackie. She drags Jackie into the arena but Mero makes the save.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Mankind vs. Mark Henry

Mankind gets Shamrock on Sunday and earlier today he said that Shamrock’s chair shots aren’t hard enough. Before the match, Henry has a love poem for Chyna. Here’s Chyna very quickly after the bell and the distraction allows Mankind to take over very quickly. Henry comes back with the power game and goes after Mankind’s leg. He goes up for a middle rope splash but Foley gets out of the way. There’s the double arm DDT and he takes his shoe off to get to Mr. Socko. Well that didn’t take long. Mankind still has the piano music.

Post match Chyna tries to ask why but Henry says it’s out of his hands and leaves.

Austin drives up in a cement truck. The Stooges say they’ll go look at it and Slaughter falls on Vince’s bad leg on the way.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Jarrett jumps Pac to start and pounds away on him for a bit but X-Pac comes back with a spin kick (clearly missing by 4 inches) and a flipping clothesline. Pack loads up a superplex but gets knocked to the mat. Small package gets two for Jarrett, as does a powerslam. Pac fires off the kicks in the corner but the referee goes down too. Bronco Buster is countered by a boot to the groin and Jeff goes for the guitar. Instead he finds Head in the case, allowing Pac to roll Jarrett up to advance.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here but it wasn’t bad. The idea here was about pushing Snow vs. Jarrett in a feud that was pretty much out of nowhere. There was a story to Pac and Jarrett due to a feud from a few months ago, so this wasn’t all that bad. It was way too short to mean much of anything though.

The remaining brackets:

Ken Shamrock
Val Venis

Mankind
X-Pac

Austin pours cement into Vince’s Corvette in a classic moment.

Here’s Austin in the arena to a big pop. He says on Sunday, he’ll beat them both up and then raise his own hand whether Vince likes it or not. Cue Vince in wheelchair with attack dogs behind him. Austin can’t quite go at them so Vince yells and makes Austin/Rock vs. Kane/Undertaker.

Vince says Austin is going to need eyes in the back of his head. Austin shouts at Vince and Vince breaks down, talking about how bad his last three weeks have been, including the Zamboni, his ankle being broken, the hospital stuff, and now the car being destroyed. Vince says if Austin doesn’t raise the winner’s hand, he’s fired. Austin says Vince doesn’t have the balls to do that but Vince says he’ll humble Austin one way or another.

Intercontinental Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis

Shamrock jumps Val during his entrance and throws him into the steps before the bell. Into the ring and there’s the bell, but Shamrock has a huge advantage. Shamrock works on the back and puts on a reverse chinlock which he releases very quickly. Val hits a big boot but Shamrock kind of no sells it in a weird way. Ken comes back with a pair of suplexes and then a Boston Crab. Val FINALLY makes a rope before starting a comeback. He has to bump and grind though so his big boot only gets two. Shamrock quickly chop blocks him and the ankle lock puts him in the finals.

Rating: D. Again this was more or less just a squash. Shamrock has steamrolled everyone in his matches so far tonight and it would make sense to have him win at this point. The match wasn’t all that entertaining and I wasn’t a fan of all the back work before we finally got a chop block and an ankle hold for the win. To be fair though it lasted five minutes so how much can I complain?

Before Val can get up Goldust returns and does his mind games with Val before hitting Shattered Dreams.

Mick tries to console Vince about his car and tries to get the briefcase and the keys out of the car full of cement.

Rock says he isn’t worried about the Brothers because he’s beaten both of them, which makes him #1 contender. He doesn’t like being Austin’s partner, and here are Henry and Brown to complain about Rock not being partners with one of them. Rock says shut up and that’s about it.

Intercontinental Title Tournament Semi-Finals: X-Pac vs. Mankind

Mankind suplexes out of a headlock and pounds on Pac in the corner. They go to the other corner but X-Pac hits a spin kick out of the corner. They head outside and Mankind grabs a chair which is dropped pretty quickly. A kick in the corner drops Mankind and ther’es the Bronco Buster. Foley comes back with a forearm and hits a neckbreaker on the floor, but here’s Shamrock. He pops Mankind in the previously injured knee with a chair, allowing Pac to roll him up for the easy win.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to get anywhere, but flash back with me to the review of last week’s show. This is another great case of matches between guys of completely different styles. There are still differences today, but rarely are they this striking. The match was ok but the ending didn’t help it much.

Post match Shamrock destroys Pac with a neck hold and we go to a break before the match.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. X-Pac

HHH is on commentary. Pac can barely move but keeps fighting as much as he can. Shamrock stays on the neck including a dragon sleeper while Shamrock is on the floor and Pac is on mat. X-Pac comes back with a pair of spin kicks but he can’t follow up on the cover. There’s the Bronco Buster but again he can’t follow up. There’s the ankle lock but we get a rope break. The hold goes on again and this time it’s over, giving the title to Shamrock.

Rating: D. The problem again here, and this isn’t their fault, is that having about four minutes just isn’t enough. The idea here was that with Pac being so hurt the match wasn’t entirely fair, but Shamrock will take it because he’s becoming evil. For his three matches, Shamrock only wrestled less than fifteen minutes. That’s not a bad night’s work.

Kane/The Undertaker vs. Steve Austin/The Rock

Ok so apparently Rock IS #1 contender. I think what messed me up last week was that he was #1 contender to a title that had no owner, so I thought Kane and Undertaker would be considered the contenders. Say it with me: it’s a brawl to start. Kane and Austin go to the floor while Rock beats up Undertaker. Austin and Rock double team Taker down but he sits up. We start with Austin and Undertaker while Kane is on the floor.

Here comes Paul Bearer, which is good as I had forgotten he was here. Taker hits a clothesline for two before working over the arm. Austin comes back and wraps Taker’s leg around the post before tagging in Rock. He loads up the People’s Elbow but Taker sits up. Rock kicks him right back down before hitting the elbow in a move that I’m sure has been on highlight reels before.

Kane distracts Rock so Taker can hit a HUGE chokeslam. Off to Kane now as Brown and Henry come out too. Back to Taker for some choking and then to Kane again. Rock finally comes back with a DDT as the referee tells them seven minutes left. Kane blocks the tag and drapes Rock over the top before tagging in Taker again. Kane hammers on Rock on the floor but comes back in for a Samoan Drop.

A double tag brings in Austin to face Undertaker again and things pick up. Austin can’t quite drop him as Henry and Brown beat down Rock on the floor. Austin gets caught in the ropes and Taker pounds away. That doesn’t last long as Austin escapes and hits a clothesline for two. Thesz Press is broken up by Kane and the security guard from earlier with the dogs run in and hits Austin with a stick before unmasking to reveal Big Bossman. The match is thrown out.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches that sounds better on paper than in reality. This was more about Austin getting beaten down by Vince’s guy which is ok, especially when the main event on Sunday is about Austin vs. Vince with the title and the Brothers being thrown in. Not a bad match but the important thing here again is to have Rock rubbing elbows with these top guys.

Austin gets beaten down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a hard one to rate because of the tournament sucking up the middle of the show. The matches weren’t good but they had to do it at some point given HHH’s injury. It’s interesting looking at the main event scene here as it’s clearly all about Vince vs. Austin and everything else is thrown in on the side. The perk though is that the main feud is so awesome and works so well that it’s easily accepted. Not a horrible show here but the tournament hurt it a lot.

Here’s Judgment Day if you’re interested:

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