In Your House #25: Judgment Day: Austin Gets Fired

In Your House 25: Judgment Day
Date: October 18, 1998
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 18,153
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

So we’re just three weeks (dang it happened back then too) from Breakdown and your two main things are as follows: there is no WWF Champion. After the double pin last month, Vince said that the title is vacant. The following night on Raw, Vince tried to have a ceremony but Austin interrupted with a Zamboni, (the thing used to smooth ice) and attacked Vince.

Vince announced Taker and Kane with Austin as referee for Judgment Day. Taker and Kane broke his ankle because of it. HHH was stripped of the IC Title because he hurt his knee and Shamrock won a tournament for it. D’lo got the European Title back too.

Standard opening, but they get a little insane by having a missile go off with the words WWF on the side. A bit intense don’t you think?

Al Snow vs. Marc Mero

Snow continues to get big pops and I have no idea why they didn’t push him as something. He was over and could work a good match. Oh that’s right, Vince didn’t come up with the gimmick so it wouldn’t have worked. I can’t stand him sometimes. Anyway there’s no point to this match so it should be better than most on this show. Jeff Jarrett joins us as he and Snow had been fighting lately.

He’s gone in all of 2 minutes though so that was a fairly pointless thing. This is a decent opening match with the best line being Al Snow is so dumb his dentist says his wisdom teeth are stupid. It’s exactly what you would expect here as they go back and forth a bit with Mero missing the SSP (by a freaking mile. Seriously he completely missed.) Snow gets rolled up and his shoulder is so clearly off the mat it’s awful but he’s counted anyway for two. TKO gets reversed into the Snow Plow to end it.

Rating: B-. It was a short opener so what more did you want from it? Not a bad match but just ok. Jarrett made no sense with the run in at the beginning so that part was a waste of time. Mero of course sucked a bit and Snow was good as always. I’ll never get how Snow wasn’t a bigger star than Mero was. I simply don’t get it.

Austin is shown coming into the arena and having to dress in the referee’s locker room. Slaughter has to be the most useless man in wrestling history.

DOA vs. LOD

This is a twist as it’s a 6 man with Droz and Ellering in the ring. That’s fun as I now have 6 reasons to hate this match instead of just 4. Hawk has admitted his “demons” which is the bad storyline that I’ve been referencing. The LOD with regular haircuts just do not work at all. They’re the hometown boys though so the pops are……..pretty mild actually. They exist but it’s nothing solid.

Droz actually looks the most like an original LOD member. He also busts out a jumping reverse elbow which is one of my all time favorite moves. This is a fairly short match with the LOD dominating for the most part. Hawk looks fine for someone with an addiction problem but oh well. Anyway, Ellering does next to nothing as was expected. Eventually the Doomsday Device is hit, resulting in Droz stealing the pin. Hawk isn’t happy.

Rating: C+. It’s very short and an overdone feud that wasn’t interesting, but it wasn’t a bad match. Droz was better than I remember him being but he was ok at least. He had a unique look which helped him out a lot, making him look more like the LOD than the LOD> Not a terrible match, but nothing that wouldn’t fit on a Raw.

Christian vs. Taka Michinoku

Christian has his cocky walk going already here even as a rookie. This is going to be a much happier review as I just finished seeing my boy Punk get the WHC back. Anyway, this match yet again shows what’s wrong with this division in two parts. Number one, Taka has been champion ten months now. That’s too long for what’s supposed to be a fast paced division and WAY too long for an inaugural champion.

Second, and this is the most important of the problems, they’re wrestling a heavyweight style. The big spot here is a crossbody block. Ricky Steamboat used that for years and he’s certainly a heavyweight wrestler. Sting used to use it. See what I mean? In a division like this, I want all kinds of flips and top rope moves and dives etc. CM Punk, who is the NEW WHC I might add, is more of a light heavyweight than Taka was.

Christian wrestles a heavyweight style as well. See how this is a problem? Anyway, Christian reverses the driver (what small guy uses a piledriver anyway?) into a rollup for the pin and the title as Edge looks on from the crowd.

Rating: C-. It was way too short, there weren’t enough high flying moves, and no one knew who Christian was at t the time. It gets a passing grade simply because it ended the mind numbing Taka reign which went on about 8 months too long and killed the division before it ever got off the ground. Not a great match, but passable I suppose.

Venis and Goldust are recapped, leading to…

Val Venis vs. Goldust

Before the match Goldust hijacks Val’s mic so he can’t do his shtick. That’s a nice little thing that plays up to Goldust and the psychological games. Anyway, apparently dressing in gold is quite intimidating these days as the guy that Val destroyed last month now scares him. Ok then. Anyway, it’s a pretty standard match here and Val uses a diving cross body and does it better than Taka did. See what I mean about the boring moves?

One thing I really don’t like about this match is that they use too many rest holds and they spend too much time with them. Things like that slow down the match and just suck all of the life out of the crowd. Anyway, the main thing is that Terri is on the floor and still wearing her wedding ring despite Val making out with her earlier. During the match Goldust’s glove comes off and he’s still wearing his ring as well.

Other than that, there’s not a lot to say about this match as while it’s entertaining there’s not much going on in it. Finally Terri gets involved as we know this is the finish. Val almost hits her and walks into a low blow for the pin.

Rating: C+. It was a pretty standard match but yet again that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. It’s ok with both guys being solid in the ring to make this a decent enough match. It’s nothing mind blowing, but it’s perfectly acceptable wrestling.

We’re told that Shamrock has beaten up HHH and injured his knee again and HHH is in the hospital. X-Pac says he’ll deal with Shamrock tomorrow but tonight he’s getting the worthless title tonight.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’lp Brown

Brown is from Milan, Italy now which is a little touch I always liked from some of the champions. Apparently the Nation has finally broken up which I can’t say is a bad thing. It ran its course and has split, which is how it was supposed to go. Now I’ve never been a fan of X-Pac but I like this match quite a bit for some bizarre reason. It’s solid all the way up until the ending where it just completely dies for me.

These guys go back and forth with Brown using my favorite counter as he just raises his foot up to stop the Bronco Buster. They hammer the heck out of each other and with the guys of smaller size working together, the match works much better than most of what Pac does. Brown just can’t put him away and I’m actually getting into it a bit.

Mark Henry, who is suing Chyna for sexual harassment, comes down to the ring for no apparent reason, allowing X-Pac to get hit with the belt. Brown hits a bunch of big moves but Pac keeps kicking out. Eventually he goes up top for the splash but Pac is up already.

Now for the stupid part. He dives face first and lands in the X-Factor. WHY WOULD HE JUMP LIKE THAT? What was he going for? It makes no sense and exposes the match, which just makes things bad. Hate the ending as it ruins what was otherwise a good match.

Rating: B-. If the ending was good, this would be a B or maybe even a B+. I really liked the flow here despite my disdain for Sean Waltman. Everything had a nice flow to it but of course we couldn’t just have a clean finish. We just had to have the interference and the belt shot and the ridiculous looking ending didn’t we? Just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Paul Bearer might be in Taker’s locker room.

Tag Titles: Headbangers vs. New Age Outlaws

This started when Road Dogg had a boom box broken over his head. Outlaws are WAY over here as no one wanted to see the bald guys win again. They hadn’t done anything in forever and they weren’t any good to begin with. Why would we want to see them as champions again, or even for the first time. The problem here is that there is absolutely no heat on this match at all.

It’s all about the Outlaws and no one wants to see the Bangers do anything. Gunn gets beaten on for a good while and they use an arm bar on him late in the match. Ross thinks that’s not a good move and he’s right. Seriously, an arm bar? Why not a Saskatchewan Spinning Nerve Hold? Or maybe an ARM BAR? If that doesn’t work, you could try an ARM DRAG. As a final solution though, I’d go with an ARM BAR.

Now that my bad Chris Jericho impression is over, let’s continue with the match. Yeah it sucks. We keep waiting on the hot tag but it never comes. They set Gunn for their finisher but Road Dogg blasts one in the head with a boom box for the DQ and the biggest and I think only pop of the whole match. Why did he have a boom box there? I don’t know, I guess because he felt like it.

Rating: C-. The Outlaws were solid faces here while the team they were against just plain sucked. I don’t get the appeal to this team and I never have. What was so amazing about them that I’m just not seeing? They were ok and that’s pushing it. No one thought they were winning here and this was the last feud they had.

Mankind cuts a very funny promo bashing Shamrock and talking to Mr. Socko.

IC Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Mankind

No real reason for this other than one is a big face and the other wants to be a big heel. Shamrock had won the belt Monday so he’s just not going to lose here. Mankind is 6’4??? When in the world did that happen? According to JR at least he is, but I always thought Foley was more around the 6’2 range. Edge and Orton are 6’4, and I think they’re both fairly taller than Foley is. This starts off with Shamrock just beating the heck out of Foley with strikes and punches.

Foley gets little offense in as usual and of course makes Ken look like a million bucks which Shamrock couldn’t do if his life depended on it. That’s where Foley truly shines and this is no exception. However he gets the claw on for all of one second and it’s enough to bring the match to a screeching halt. The commentators are talking about how Foley is a loveable idiot that is doing nothing but trying to please Mr. McMahon but is constantly ridiculed and manipulated by him.

For some reason the chair shot by Shamrock is completely ignored. The comeback is on as Foley uses the same offense he always uses and still makes it look good either way. All of his big moves are hit ranging from the Cactus Clothesline to the corner punches to the double arm DDT.

Shamrock gets the ankle lock on him but instead of tapping, Mankind puts the claw on himself, knocking himself unconscious. Shamrock hears this and snaps, beating up the referee and Mankind until other referees come out, allowing Mankind to put the claw on him and limp away.

Rating: B+. This was exactly the way this match should have been. Both guys worked pretty hard out there with Shamrock not actually beating Mankind but winning anyway. Foley made him look good which was likely what his instructions were. Good match but not great.

Cole tries to see Vince but Bossman doesn’t like the idea.

Rock vs. Mark Henry

This is fallout from the Nation’s split I suppose, not to mention a beatdown they gave Rock on Monday. Henry has a poem for Chyna. The pops for Rock are there and they would never leave again. The classic style is there too as the Rock has finally arrived. The commentators do nothing but talk about how big Henry is. Did you know he’s a big man and a former Olympian? Rock uses his normal stuff which works well against big men like Henry.

He shows some unusual power for himself by suplexing the big fat waste of 3 people’s skin. Soon thereafter Henry is beating him down to lead to a comeback. With D’lo’s help Henry survives the elbow and a splash finishes the Rock. I know it’s short but the match is five minutes and two seconds long. How much can I really say about it?

Rating: C. The shortness hurt this one and it hurt it bad. There’s no need to make this match just five minutes long. I know that Henry was limited in the ring and still is today and that Rock wasn’t ready for a main event spot yet but he could do more than 5 minutes. I even get Rock losing here, but not that fast. The time is the main thing here as it just takes a lot away from what could have been an ok match.

Massive recap and blah.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Kane

Austin is the ref and if he doesn’t do things right he’s fired as we’ve been over already. Austin of course is the biggest star in the whole match as is expected here. If you’ve seen one match from these two you’ve seen them all and this one isn’t particularly great as Taker is more of a heel. It’s more of two big guys fighting instead of Taker against Kane in one of their epic struggles.

It’s a slow pace which is what you would expect from these guys, but there’s no burst of high speed offense like there are in the other matches. Austin really is reserved here as we all know it’s just building to the big deal with him in the finish. It was kind of obvious to me that something would keep there from being a straight new champion crowned here.

Your psychology here is that Kane’s knee gets worked over the whole match. Since this is the Attitude Era though, it has no bearing at all on the end of the match. As they fight, Kane starts beating up Austin for no reason at all. Chokeslam puts him down long enough for Bearer to come out and turn on him as he joins Taker all over again. Anyway, Austin sees him blast Kane with the chair and refuses to make the count.

He stuns Taker (who staggers around and never falls) before chairing him. Austin counts three on both men then declares himself the winner. He goes to the back to find Vince but Vince appears as the Titantron is raised after Austin returns and fires him as he breaks out the catch phrase for the first time. Austin says to play his music and has a beer bash to end the show.

The next night would be the famous Austin’s Got A Gun show where he is stalking Vince all night and Vince wets himself as the gun says Bang 3:16 to end the show. Shane would rehire him but for no good reason at all screw him over weeks later. Why rehire them just to screw them instead of just letting him stay fired? God bless kayfabe.

Rating: B-. It was ok but once again this was more about the angle than about the title. I like a lot of what Russo did but I will never agree with his stance on titles being just props. It should mean something to be the World Heavyweight Champion.

I get that Austin was the biggest star on the planet but it makes the title look weaker. Never once been a fan of that and never will be. As for the match it’s one of Taker and Kane’s weakest entries but that’s because it wasn’t about their rivalry as they were just two guys fighting over a belt.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty solid show I think from a wrestling standpoint. However, it kind of falls flat at the end as the final moments meant nothing since Austin would be in the tournament at the Survivor Series the following month.

The show serves as a good lead in to the Deadly Game tournament but other than that it’s just not there. While the in ring work is pretty good, there’s no substance as far as storylines go which drops this pretty far in my eyes. It does feature 5 title matches, but the European and IC matches are the only ones I really liked. It’s a decent show but don’t expect too much. Rated just slightly above average.

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Monday Night Raw – October 5, 1998: This Rock Guy Is Going To Be A Big Deal

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 5, 1998
Location: Breslin Arena, East Lansing, Michigan
Attendance: 9,846
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s another week closer to Judgment Day and we have two Raws left before we get there. Tonight we’ll likely hear more about the main event for the PPV which is Austin refereeing Taker vs. Kane for the vacant world title. You know that’s going to rival a Thesz vs. Gotch classic for basic wrestling skills of course. Anyway there isn’t much else announced for that show so let’s get to it.

We open with a quick look at Taker and Kane breaking Vince’s leg/ankle last week.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’Lo Brown

Pac is defending and he’s coming out before JR can even welcome us to the show. Brown charges right into a spin kick but he comes back with a powerslam. Legdrop hits Pac and a leg lariat gets two. Off to the chinlock and Brown yells at the crowd. He always was good at that. Someone serves Chyna with papers and Henry is smiling.

The champ fights out of the hold and hits a belly to back suplex. His elbow misses and Brown hits one of his own off the middle rope for two. Side slam gets the same. The Low Down misses and it’s slugout time. Pac speeds things up and hits the Bronco Buster, but Henry trips him up and rams Pac’s back into the post. That and the Low Down gives us a new champion.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but it was more about building up the DX problems as Chyna didn’t help Pac out for no apparent reason. Brown would hold onto the title for awhile until the title fell into obscurity. You know, as in more than it already was at this point. I’ve always been a fan of Brown’s work so I can’t complain much here. Decent opener.

Vince is in a hospital bed and complaining about getting the wrong kind of juice. OH IT’S THIS SHOW!!!

The Oddities played football earlier today.

Here are the Headbangers who apparently aren’t scheduled right now. They call out the Insane Clown Posse and I can easily see why I’ve never heard them cut a promo before. The Oddities come out but the Headbangers want the Clowns.

Headbangers vs. Insane Clown Posse

Please make it short. The Oddities have to go to the back and the Clowns come in. I’m not sure if this is an official match or not. Shaggy takes a flapjack and it’s a double suplex for Jay. There’s no tagging so far at all. There’s a Super Bomb for Shaggy and Thrasher gets a chair. The Clowns get laid out with chairs and it’s a big beatdown until the Oddities make the save.

We see Austin looking for Vince last night with an ax in his hand. He took over the production truck and hacked the feed to Vince’s hospital. I mean that literally.

Austin had a metal CD. Ok then.

We get a clip from last week with the Zamboni attack and the announcement of the PPV main event. Vince called the Brothers handicapped (one physical and the other mental) and Taker threatened them. Vince flipped them off and the Brothers destroyed his leg.

We go to Vince’s hospital room and the nurse says he has a large visitor. Vince says no visitors and it’s Mankind. Vince’s heart rate monitor beeping in time with his panicking is great. Mankind gives him candy and balloons and has a visitor. It’s female entertainment. “She does a trick with a dog that you won’t believe.” It’s Yurple the Clown. Vince being given stickers and balloon animals is great. Foley says he has another visitor and it’s….MR. SOCKO!!! Vince finally snaps and throws them out.

Sable joins in on commentary.

Vader vs. Marc Mero

Sable says she wants the Women’s Title which would come soon enough. The whole Vince is Sable’s Boss thing is pretty much forgotten at this point. Vader pounds away on him and they head to the floor where Mero hides behind Jackie. Back in and Vader runs Mero over, sending him right back to the floor. After a Jackie eye rake it’s back to the ring and Mero takes over with his usual stuff. Vader beats him down again and a splash gets two. Jackie dives onto Vader and gets caught, but a Mero low blow and the Marvelocity (Shooting Star) gets the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Mero was only there as a surrogate for Jackie and Sable. That would tend to be the case for awhile as Mero never really meant much after this. This was also Vader’s last match on Raw which is kind of pitiful but he was so far past his prime in WWF that it never quite clicked.

Jackie gets on the mic post match because I haven’t suffered enough so far. She challenges Sable who gets in, but Mero distracts her so Jackie can jump her. Jackie cuts Sable’s hair.

William Regal makes his own orange juice.

Edge vs. Owen Hart

We hear about Edge’s younger brother, which is a new revelation. His name is Christian. Owen comes out in street clothes. Last night he tried to walk out on a match with X-Pac but got rolled up anyway. He’s distraught because of the injury to Severn last week. He says he’s sorry but he can’t wrestle tonight. Owen walks out and it’s a forfeit.

Post break Owen says it’s over and he’s done before leaving the arena.

Kane vs. Ken Shamrock

See, THIS is something you don’t get today. These guys have very different styles and it’s cool to see them clash. Today almost everyone but two people have the same style so you can plug in anyone. It’s something that really is missing today. Shamrock is on the verge of turning heel but he’s still a tweener here. He uses his speed advantage and fires off some strikes to take over early.

Shamrock goes for the leg but gets caught in a powerslam when trying a cross body. A dropkick staggers the big man but his rana is caught in a powerbomb. Kane chokes him down and chokes on the mat before a powerslam gets two. Off to a chinlock which Shamrock fights out of but here’s Undertaker to watch. Shamrock fires off a bunch of stuff but it takes the rana to put Kane down. Not that it matters as Kane is up to his feet first. Kane goes up top but Undertaker gets up and crotches him, allowing a belly to belly superplex to give Shamrock the pin.

Rating: C-. Like I said the conflicting styles were a nice touch here. That’s something you NEVER get anymore. We don’t have many power monsters and even fewer MMA style guys, so it’s nice to see something like this. Think about it: how many people work the same exact style today and how uninteresting does it get after awhile?

Val Venis finds Terri’s wedding ring. Guess where it was.

Val Venis vs. Gangrel

Val talks about Magic Johnson before the match. He starts fast with a powerslam and some knees to the ribs followed by the bump and grind. JR takes a shot at WCW by saying this is action and not two 45 year olds on the microphone. Val hits a big boot and here comes Edge. He gets in Christian’s face but Gangrel runs out to DDT Edge on the floor. They stomp Edge and the match is thrown out. Oh ok Val wins by countout. That makes sense.

Val and Terri make out in the ring but a movie usher shows up. He hands Val a gold envelope, the contents of which freak Val out. Cue Goldust’s music and the man himself on the screen. Goldust’s world premiere is next week apparently.

We get a clip from last night of Austin yelling at Shane on Heat.

Vince is in the hospital and wants another nurse and something for his pain.

Al Snow vs. Jeff Jarrett

They go to the mat and it’s a nice technical exhibition to start. Snow is like screw that and catches him with the trapping headbutts. He knocks Jarrett to the floor and grabs a chair but Jeff knocks him down. Slaughter comes out here, demanding the Head from the referee. Snow hits a kind of Air Sabu move against the barricade but as Al goes after Slaughter, Jarrett hits him in the back with a chair. Back in the ring Snow hits an enziguri to come back and goes up but Slaughter crotches him for the DQ. Fun while it lasted but this was about Slaughter vs. Snow, which isn’t interesting at all.

Road Dogg vs. Mark Henry

There’s no Billy here so Roadie brings in a blowup doll. Lawler gets the papers that Chyna was served earlier and it’s a sexual harassment by Henry. Road Dogg takes over to start and hits the shaky knee for two. He walks into what would become known as the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the advantage. Brown trips up Dogg and a legdrop to the back of the head half kills him. Chyna comes out and drills Brown, allowing Pac to kick Henry low and hit an X Factor for Dogg to get the pin. Another short match.

Henry chases after DX with a chair post match.

Vince is in the hospital and wants more juice.

We go to McMahon for an interview but he isn’t ready, so we look at Austin’s Zamboni stuff from last week again. We get the attack on Vince as well.

Vince is getting hit blood pressure taken when Austin, dressed as a doctor, jumps him. Austin pounds on his broken ankle, hits him with a bedpan, and zaps him with the cardiac paddles. To end it he anally rapes Vince with an IV. To quote Punk: “SECURITY AROUND HERE SUCKS!”

The Rock vs. The Undertaker

They have a lot of time for the main event here. Rock is on fire and this is one of his biggest matches to date. He’s still listed as part of the Nation here but it’s really just in name only at this point. Taker immediately jumps him and the fight starts fast. The jumping clothesline puts Rock down again as it’s been all Taker so far. Out to the floor and Rock reverses a whip into the steps.

Here comes Kane to watch the match ala Undertaker in Kane’s match earlier. The distraction alows for a powerslam from Taker to stop Rock cold again. Henry and Brown come out but get glared away by Kane. Taker starts in on the arm and here’s School. Off to the chinlock which is quickly broken by a belly to back suplex. Rock gets thrown to the floor and the beating is on in the aisle.

This has still been almost all Undertaker and it continues to be as he slams Rock into the steps. Back into the ring and Rock’s comeback is easily stopped by a right hand. Sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for Rock. Again he fires off punches but Taker easily clotheslines him down for two. Rock grabs an O’Connor Roll for two and a clothesline for the same. Big boot takes Rock down for another near fall.

Taker loads up Old School again but since you can’t hit the same match twice in a match, Rock arm drags him down. JR declares Rock the #1 contender for some reason. Swinging neckbreaker gets two for the Not Yet Great One. Tombstone is escaped into a side Russian legsweep and the People’s Elbow connects. The referee gets crushed in the corner and everyone goes down. Time for Kane but Undertaker sits up. Kane kills Taker in the back with the chair and the Rock Bottom looks to finish but there’s no referee. Kane slides the chair in and a Tombstone onto said chair gets the pin.

Rating: B. These two don’t do that well on PPV together, but man they were cooking here. Rock was on fire at this point and more or less would stay on fire for the next two years or so. Seeing him get beaten down and then fight back time after time, including hitting a solid Rock Bottom, only to get screwed was a nice ending to a good match. That’s how you give someone a rub by the way.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re clearly running on all cylinders at this point and it’s clear that WCW having stuff like Warrior vs. Hogan is merely a band-aid trying to stop the tidal wave that is Raw. With Rock on the verge of being revealed as the Corporate Champion and Mankind’s rise up to the top of the company, this is going to get great and it’s going to do it in a hurry.

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Smackdown – June 1, 2012: Another Stake In The Brand Split

Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Tonight we have a Raw World Title match on Smackdown for the first time in a few years as Punk defends against Kane. I’d assume that Bryan has gotten the title match for No Way Out but it’s hard to tell with this company anymore. Other than that we’ll probably have some more stuff with Big Show as he continues to take over the stories everywhere. It’ll also be interesting to see how they work around the Orton suspension. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the title match tonight. It looks more like a TV commercial than a normal opening video.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the weather tomorrow for my neighborhood yard sale.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show and we get a clip of him kicking Del Rio’s head off to end the show last week. Sheamus talks about how Del Rio has been waited on hand and foot for years, but it’s not going to matter at No Way Out because he can’t buy the World Heavyweight Championship. Cue Otunga who again demands that Sheamus apologize for running over Ace. Sheamus says this isn’t Starbucks where you order someone around. If Ace wants an apology, he can come out here and get it himself. Otunga: “You may be the whitest bulb, but you’re not the brightest.”

Cue Del Rio who calls Sheamus a peasant and a street hooligan. People like Sheamus wind up working for people like Del Rio and Otunga. Otunga thinks Sheamus should be in a match tonight, with the opponent being chosen by Del Rio. The champ kicks Otunga’s head off and Del Rio runs. Sheamus says never trust a hooligan.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

No trampoline and he’s in red and white not instead of blue and gold. The lighting is back too. Slater grabs the arm to start but Cara grabs the arm and hits his spinning wrist drag. Out to the floor for a BIG dive but Slater jumps him coming back in. Off to a chinlock but Cara fights out and hits some kicks to the leg. A jumping back elbow puts Slater down as does an enziguri from the apron. The La Mistica mat slam gets the pin at 2:24. I didn’t see any botches here and Cara looked pretty good.

Damien Sandow vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Sandow’s Titantron graphic has a theme of a curtain being pulled back like at a theater. Sandow says he won’t be in this match and goes to leave but Jackson pulls him back in to get us going. The Torture Rack is countered and Sandow goes psycho. Russian legsweep puts Jackson down and the neckbreaker ends it at 1:36. Sandow gets in the Thinking Man position during his cover. I’m liking the 2012 Genius a bit more.

Del Rio and Ricardo are in the back when Ziggler comes in and asks to be put in the match tonight. Del Rio says okey dokey.

Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons vs. Ryback

The jobbers are from Alabama so the Louisiana fans HATE them, due to them saying Roll Tide. It’s the exact same match as last week with the double MuscleBuster getting the pin at 2:02.

Raw ReBound chronicles Show’s destruction. Apparently Brodus has a concussion and bruised ribs.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Non-title. Ziggler cuts off Vickie’s intro and says tonight he beats the champion. He’s serious tonight. If the reaction is to be believed, Sheamus is getting verypopular. Ziggler tries a headlock to start but gets run over very quickly. He dropkicks the champ down and hooks an armbar which gets him nowhere at all. Ziggler punches Sheamus in the corner but gets sent to the apron. Top rope cross body is caught in a Regal Roll for two.

Sheamus launches him over the top and to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sheamus breaking a top wristlock. Dolph runs to the apron and has to grab the ring skirt to keep from getting a worse beating. He suckers Sheamus in and guillotines him on the top rope. Sheamus gets dropkicked off the apron and onto the floor for awhile. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring.

Off to the chinlock and Ziggler does the handstand. Booker: “That’s just showing off.” Now he’s getting it. Sheamus starts to fight up but gets caught in a DDT for two. Ziggler hooks an ugly sleeper but Sheamus dumps him onto the apron for the ten forearms. Irish Curse is countered twice so Sheamus uses a regular backbreaker (which Cole calls the Irish Curse anyway). He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets crotche. A top rope X Factor gets a close two and a good reaction from the crowd on the kickout. Zig Zag is countered and it’s White Noise, failed Swagger interference and the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:06 shown of 13:36.

Rating: C+. These two always have good chemistry together and they did again here. The ending is good too as it furthers the Ziggler split from Vickie and company, but it also keeps Sheamus looking just as strong because he had Ziggler beaten without the interference going wrong. Little things like that can make a match so much better.

Punk says he’ll beat up anyone that Ace throws at him, including Kane. Kane is going to sleep tonight.

Darren Young/Titus O’Neil vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

An inset promo says that O’Neil and Young want to be known as the Prime Time Players. Young and Santino get us going but it’s quickly off to Titus. Ryder comesin to break up a double team which gets him run over by Young. Then Santino gets a rollup out of nowhere on Young for the pin at 1:13. What in the world was the point of that? They spent the pre-match stuff and the match talking about how awesome Young and O’Neil were and then the ending comes from out of nowhere. Marella and Ryder had no offense at all other than the rollup. Literally, none.

Post match here’s Big Show to destroy everything. Make that just Ryder and Santino as Young and Titus escaped. Ryder tries to fight back but it gets him nowhere. The beating goes on for awhile. Show is in the same kind of stuff he was wearing before his turn. Santino gets put in a camel clutch on the steps on the stage before getting punched in the back of the head and knocked out. So in four days he’s been punched out and made to tap out in 45 seconds. Another champion is made to look like a joke.

We see Punk in the back but it’s actually AJ in a Punk shirt. Bryan pops up and asks why AJ thinks Punk cares about her. He pretends to care about her again and you can see her knees get weak. Bryan is only joking though.

Cody Rhodes vs. Tyson Kidd

Christian is on commentary and Kidd has full tights now. Kidd gets in a quick legsweep but Cody is too fired up for Kidd to be able to do much. Tyson keeps fighting and tries the Dungeon Lock but Cody shrugs it off and Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:20.

Cody and Christian stare at each other a lot post match.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Kane

They have a lot of time here. The announcers talk about how Kane hasn’t been champion in 14 years. Cole thankfully points out the mistake and reminds Booker of the Smackdown World Title that Kane won like a year and a half ago. Out to the floor and Punk drops a double ax off the top onto Kane to take over. Back in and the uppercut drops Punk, but he dropkicks Kane’s knee out to send him into the middle buckle.

Punk wraps Kane’s arm around the post and drops some elbows onto it as well. He works on it some more and hooks on a top wristlock. Kane throws him off and sends him tot he floor as we take a break. Back with Punk in control but quickly getting knocked to the floor. Here’s AJ to check on the champion. Back in and Kane slams Punk and drops an elbow for two. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT but Punk can’t follow up.

Punk hits two knees in the corner but still can’t hit the bulldog. High Kick misses but the spinning neckbreaker gets two. Kane tries to slam him but Punk slips out and hits the High Kick for two. Punk tries the GTS but Kane falls on top of him. Low dropkick gets two. Top rope clothesline is countered by a dropkick and now it’s Punk going up.

AJ gets on the apron to try to get his attention. She’s pointing at Bryan who is coming to jump Punk. The champ dives on Bryan on the floor but that’s not a DQ. Punk kicks Kane from the apron and drops the Macho Elbow for two. Cole: “The championship almost left Punk there.” Punk goes up and jumps into the uppercut. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Bryan comes in and dropkicks both guys for the DQ at 12:00 shown of 15:30.

Rating: C+. For a TV main event this was fine. It’s pretty clear where they’re going for No Way Out so the ending here was fine. It sets up the likely triple threat title match at the PPV which needed to be done one way or another. They were going back and forth pretty well here and the arm work made sense from Punk. Pretty good little match here.

Bryan DESTROYS Punk with kicks but both guys get chokeslammed. Ace and Eve come out to make the triple threat match.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show for the most part. Nothing was really bad on it and they had something big in the main event, which is what Smackdown needs. It’s basically a supplement to Raw anymore so throwing a big match into the main event is the right idea. The show wasn’t great but with nothing bad and a main event that had something on the line, this was about as good as Smackdown is going to get at this point.

Results
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater – Spinning Mat Slam
Damien Sandow b. Ezekiel Jackson – Neckbreaker
Ryback b. Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons – Double MuscleBuster
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil – Rollup to Young
Cody Rhodes b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk vs. Kane went to a no contest when Daniel Bryan interfered

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Thought Of The Day: The Triple Crown

Back in the 1990s, I remember hearing about how Diesel became the third Triple Crown winner in WWF history. He joined Pedro Morales and Bret Hart as the only three men to do that. Each had something distinct about it: Morales did it first, Bret was the first to win each title twice, and Diesel won them all within a year (Diesel may have completed his before Bret got his second of each but it doesn’t really matter).

Morales got his in 1980 and Diesel in 1994. That means 3 men did this in about 15 years. In the 18 years since then, another 21 have gotten the Triple Crown. Just to give you an idea of how meaningless this is, Big Show completed the (official according to WWE) Triple Crown at Wrestlemania. He also completed another one in one year, as he won the World Title at TLC, and the tag titles with Kane a bit after Mania 27 (does ANYONE remember that reign?). Did you hear anything about it? No, because it doesn’t mean anything anymore.

Sign of the times.




Smackdown – May 25, 2012: Ryback Is More Awesome Than You

Smackdown
Date: May 25, 2012
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s after Over the Limit and Sheamus is still champion after a pretty fun fatal fourway. Other than that there isn’t much to talk about other than a new Intercontinental Champion in the form of Christian. We begin the build to No Way Out tonight but since Raw was mostly a throwaway show, I’d expect about the same thing here. Hopefully it’s better than last week’s. Let’s get to it.

The opening is about Cena vs. Ace from the PPV and the fallout from Raw.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is three and a half minute recaps of a story that I didn’t like when it aired on Raw.

Here’s Eve to open us up in the arena. Ace isn’t here tonight so she’s in charge. Ace is going to deal with Cena on Monday so tonight, she’s going to deal with Sheamus. Sheamus is going to issue a public apology for running over Ace on Monday and also, she’ll name his #1 contender. Cue Alberto who sucks up to Eve for awhile. She says no one is more deserving than him, but here’s Orton for a rebuttal.

He introduces himself to Eve and asks the fans who they would like to see. After the obvious response, here’s Kane. Kane says he should get to face “that pasty white Irish ghost.” If you need more convincing, tonight is episode #666 of Smackdown. Eve makes a triple threat for the title shot.

Christian vs. Hunico

Non-title here. Christian takes him down with a forearm but stops to go after Camacho, allowing Hunico to get in a shot and a suicide dive. A springboard dive misses and Christian takes over again. A big right hand puts Hunico on his knee and a middle rope back elbow puts him on his back. After a baseball slide takes out Hunico, it’s Killswitch and Frog Splash for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as Hunico is a guy that is very slowly growing on me. I like Christian using the frog splash better than just the Killswitch as it looks more devastating. It’s also more of a face move which furthers his turn a little more. This made Christian look good but let Hunico get in some offense at the same time. Proper jobber usage makes me happy.

Cody comes out with Christian still in the ring. He talks about how he spent eight months making the title important again after it had been held by jokes. Cody restored it to greatness that people like Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels and Cody Rhodes gave it. It won’t take him eight months to get it back, but rather 3 seconds.

Darren Young/Titus O’Neil vs. Usos

Jimmy vs. Titus to start. This is due to some argument in the back earlier today where they made fun of each others’ dances. The Usos take over quickly and double team O’Neil in the corner. Young kicks Jey in the back though and the NXT Crew takes over. Titus suplexes Young onto Jey for two. Young misses a charge and it’s off to Jimmy. He cleans a few rooms of the house and everything breaks down. Jey looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Young crotches him and the Demolition Decapitator gets the pin at 3:12. The Millions of Dollars dance is still good.

Rating: D+. Just a tag match for the most part here, but again I have to ask: where was this from Young/O’Neil for a year on NXT? This was entertaining and I’m liking this team more when they’re on every week. They have charisma and show off out there, which is what they never did on the yellow show. Alas, the Usos are the tag team jobbers now.

Sin Cara returns next week.

Ryback vs. Brian Edwards/Kevin Bendol

The jobbers make fun of the town some more and I think you can figure this one out. Ryback’s left eye is MESSED UP. It’s all bruised and it looks like there’s blood in it. The cannon fodder doesn’t have to tag. Ryback picks one of them up in a powerbomb position and slams him into the other guy. Powerbomb kills one and the clothesline kills another. Ryback picks one of them up for the MuscleBuster, then picks the other one up AT THE SAME TIME. He walks them around and a double MuscleBuster ends this at 1:26. That ending was awesome.

Santino Marella vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

This should be entertaining. It’s a continuation of Ricardo getting beaten up on Raw. Ricardo wrestles in his tuxedo and has his own theme music. He introduces himself as well which is amusing. Santino hooks a headlock but Ricardo shoves him off and runs the ropes while Santino watches. We get an airplane spin from Santino but he makes himself dizzy and falls to the floor. He crawls under the ring and sneaks up on Ricardo so that the Cobra can end it at 1:50. Comedy matches are fine.

Here’s Sheamus for his apology. Sheamus says it was an accident but it was accidentally on purpose. He apologizes for Ace being so horrible and for Eve and Otunga being so far up Johnny that they can tell what he has for breakfast. Oh and Big Show sucks too. As for No Way Out, he wants to face Orton. Here’s Vickie for some reason who says Eve has made a match for Sheamus.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

They lock up and go into the corner with no one getting an advantage. Some elbows to the face knock Swagger back but Sheamus misses a charge into the corner. It turns into a fist fight which puts Jack down, followed by the top rope shoulder for two. Swagger goes to the floor so Sheamus runs him over out there too. Vickie offers a distraction which lets Swagger knock Sheamus off the apron and possibly injure the champ’s ankle.

We take a break and come back with Swagger working on both the ankle and the shoulder. He DDTs the leg for two. Swagger ties it up in the ropes in the corner but misses a kick. Sheamus hits a neckbreaker and both guys are down. The champ comes back with the ax handles and the forearms in the ropes. Jack kicks him in the ankle again and goes for the ankle lock but Sheamus kicks him off. Brogue Kick misses and Swagger takes out the leg for two. Booker: “Two and three quarters. That’s a victory!” Sheamus escapes the gutwrench powerbomb and the Brogue Kick finishes at 6:56 shown of 10:26.

Rating: C. This was fine. Swagger is firmly cemented in his jobber to the stars status and given how dull he’s become lately, that’s about as much as he can ask for. Sheamus looked decent here but he still needs some more development. It’s not an emergency though as the fans are cheering him very strong at the moment. Decent match.

Big Show will speak later. Cole says these might be the darkest days in WWE history. I know Cole is known for hyperbole, but are you kidding me?

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow does his usual stuff before the match. I’m digging the Backlund robe too. Yoshi is an ignoramus and a dunce. The hot pink trunks work too. Yoshi charges and Sandow hides in the ropes while shouting at the referee to “please do your job thank you!” Sandow gets a shot in and the neckbreaker ends this at 45 seconds.

We look at the ending to the Ryback match again.

No Way Out ad, set like a 1920s silent movie. AJ is tied to railroad tracks, Bryan saves her, and AJ ties him up. She has a mustache now too. Cool?

We recap Big Show on Raw and at the PPV, because we might have forgotten it in the last hour and fifteen minutes. And Cole, it still isn’t the darkest day in WWE history.

Here’s Big Show for an explanation. Show says he was never fired until a few weeks ago. Everyone here has probably been fired, but they don’t love what they do. He’s a 7’4 giant and loves to wrestle. No one offered him any sympathy and he wasn’t too pleased with that. Show is sitting on a stool for this. After all the years he’s been here, that’s what he gets? The fans think he sold out which he denies.

After everything he’s done, this is the thanks he gets? It made him realize he has no friends and that he’s alone in this world. Then he got a phone call. The fans chant for Cena. Show says he made a deal with Ace to come back with a new contract and a big fat bonus. He knew exactly what he would do and he knows he’ll knock Cena out at the PPV. The fans never cared for him and now he doesn’t care for them. Why couldn’t we get this explanation on Raw? Didn’t he say he didn’t owe us one? Still though, it’s better than nothing.

As Show is leaving, here’s Kane. I guess we’re running short on time because he’s just coming out for the main event early. As Kane gets in, Bryan appears and beats the tar out of Kane with a chair. He probably hit him 20 times. I’m not sure if you can call this a face action or not, but it draws a HUGE YES chant.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kane

The winner gets Sheamus at No Way Out. Kane is going to give it a go here. Orton goes after Alberto to start but punches Kane a bit too. Del Rio gets knocked to the floor and Kane hits the low dropkick on Orton for two. Orton hits his backbreaker but Del Rio makes the save. Kane knocks both of them to the floor and follows them to the outside. He beats up both guys but Orton comes back and rams both of them into the barricade and adds a few shots to the table for Kane.

Orton loads up the elevated DDT but Alberto hits an enziguri to break that up. We take a break and come back with Kane hitting Del Rio with an uppercut. Orton takes one as well which gets two for Kane. An elbow drop gets the same. Del Rio hits the enziguri to the shoulder and Kane goes down, giving Team Mexico control. Orton backdrops him to the apron and dropkicks him to the floor, but he walks into a side slam for two.

Kane goes up for the clothesline but Del Rio comes back in and runs up the corner for an enziguri that puts Kane on the floor. A big kick misses and Orton comes back. Kane comes back in and takes the powerslam, as does Del Rio. Del Rio goes to the corner but Orton hits the elevated DDT to bring him back down. The RKO is escaped and Kane pulls Randy to the floor and sends him into the steps.

The top rope clothesline misses but the cross armbreaker is escaped and Kane hits the chokeslam. Here’s Bryan again with the chair but Kane sees him coming. Kane chases him off but as he gets back in, here’s Bryan again. Kane sees him again and stares him down. As Kane turns around he walks into the RKO. Del Rio kicks Orton away and steals the pin at 7:51 shown of 11:21.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good, although the chair attack before the match didn’t wind up amounting to that much. Del Rio vs. Sheamus doesn’t really blow my skirt up but it’s what they’ve wanted to do for months. The interesting thing is Kane vs. Bryan as it looks like that’s what they’re building to. I don’t think Bryan vs. Punk was officially announced but I could easily see it turning into a triple threat. Good main event here.

Sheamus kicks Del Rio’s head off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a much more entertaining episode than last week. It set up a few matches for the PPV and we got the explanation from Big Show that we didn’t have time for on Raw. This show could almost be called a supplement to Monday and in that regard, it was ok. Ryback continues to be awesome and I’m intrigued by where this Bryan thing is going. Much better show this week.

Results
Christian b. Hunico – Frog Splash
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Usos – Demolition Decapitator to Jimmy
Ryback b. Brian Edwards/Kevin Bendol – Double MuscleBuster
Santino Marella b. Ricardo Rodriguez – Cobra
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Damien Sandow b. Yoshi Tatsu – Neckbreaker
Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton and Kane – Del Rio pinned Kane after an RKO from Orton

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Smackdown – May 18, 2012: Nice Long Main Event Almost Saves It

Smackdown
Date: May 18, 2012
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Time for another edition of that show on Fridays that doesn’t mean a thing because everything happens on Raw now. The main event tonight is Orton vs. Sheamus which is the big PPV match they’re waiting for the right time to have. This is the go home show for Over the Limit which is the least interesting PPV I can think of in years. Maybe we’ll actually have Punk and Bryan talk. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw. Gee there’s a novel idea. This is edited together really well as it’s Ace talking about what he can do and Cena reading a line from the letter to say that Ace can’t do that.

In the arena here’s Ace to really open things up. He disagrees with the Board’s decision because it puts him in harm’s way. Ace says that he’s almost 40 but he’s still in shape. Wow I would have put him closer to fifty. The Board won’t reconsider their decision so he appeals to the fans for their support. He asks for our prayers but gets Punk instead.

Punk says that everyone, including him and the rest of the roster has been praying. Their prayers have been answered by this match on Sunday. It’s not about if Cena beats him but rather when. It would be more realistic to say that it’s not if Big Show/Lesnar interferes but when but you get the idea. Punk says after Ace is fired the party will start on Raw and it’ll go on through Smackdown next week.

The champ talks about Raw where Ace made Big Show beg for forgiveness with a smile on his face. Ace constantly insults the intelligence of the fans and humiliates Teddy, so how does it feel to be on the other end of the stick? Ace says it’s not over yet so tonight Punk faces Kane. Punk says that concerns him but he’s going to face Kane like a man. Next week he’ll still be WWE Champion but Ace will be unemployed. So let’s see. Punk talked to a guy he’s not facing on Sunday, is facing a guy that is on the pre-show on Sunday, and didn’t mention his opponent by name at all. Nice way to show what the real match is guys.

Punk leaves but Ace stops to yell at the fans. He says that since he’s the GM, he’s been tough but fair. Ace says that he works hard for the fans and they still boo them. He’s not going to blame Punk and Cena, because it’s the fans’ fault. If this is his last night, he could care less about all of them, and with that he leaves.

Cena Make-A-Wish video which is good to mention because it makes you think of the good stuff WWE guys do. Make sure to remember that if you’re a Connecticut registered voter.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil

Young and Truth start things off. They fight into the corner and Truth punches him a bit. Off to Kofi with the springboard cross body for two. Kofi takes down both opponents but Titus’ distraction lets Young hit his belly to back suplex onto the apron to take over. Off to Titus who slams Kofi and hits a splash in the corner. Another attempt hits boots and it’s off to Young and Truth again. Truth speeds things up and hits the spinning forearm. DDT gets two as Titus saves. Kofi knocks O’Neil to the floor and hits a dive as the Little Jimmy pins Young at 2:59.

Just a quick aside here: we have Young and O’Neil brought up as a new team who look impressive, so in I think their fourth match they job clean to the champions in less than three minutes. That’s a great way to make these guys look good. This is where JOBBERS should be used. Throw Slater and someone else out there for this match and save Young/O’Neil for later. Unfortunately there are only five teams (Colons, champions, O’Neil/Young, Usos (are they still alive?) and Swagger/Ziggler) They’re saving the Colons for a big match I guess, so this is all they can use and that’s why there’s no division.

Don’t Be A Bully! How long before it’s time to STAND UP for WWE?

Ryder is filming stuff for his show in the back but Sandow is standing next to him. And that’s that apparently.

Video on Ryback. He’s 1/3 of the “they’re monsters but we have no idea what to do with him yet so we’ll keep having him squash people until the fans get bored of him” trio with Tensai and Clay.

Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Sandow won’t fight for the same reasons he gave two weeks ago. He leaves but Tatsu calls him a chicken, complete with clucking. Sandow runs in and takes off the robe to reveal hot pink tights that Rick Martel would look twice at and destroys Tatsu. He hits a version of the Regal Cutter with both arms pulled instead of just one and then leaves. There was no bell and no pin so this wasn’t a match.

We recap the events that set up the fourway other than the actual announcement of the match.

Orton and Sheamus are in the back with Striker. Sheamus says he’s looking forward to fighting three guys and rubs in that he’s not champion anymore. Orton says he’s no longer so overconfident that he overlooks his opponents. He can beat anyone on Sunday but wants to beat Sheamus. Sheamus says he can kick Orton right now but Orton says compared to him, Sheamus is too nice a guy.

Zack Ryder vs. Daniel Bryan

Ryder gets in some offense to start but a running knee puts him down. The running dropkick in the corner gets two. Bryan works on the arm a bit but gets caught by the knees in the corner. Broski Boot misses and Bryan kicks him in the head. YES Lock gets the submission at 2:28. Squash.

Kane vs. CM Punk

Bryan is sitting in on commentary, which is going to multiply the build for this match by about 10,000%. Kane knocks him down to start so Punk fires some kicks to the legs. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk kicking the knee some more and hitting a DDT for two. Punk hooks a Figure Four AND IT’S ON THE PROPER LEG!!! Kane breaks it quickly but I’m in too much shock to care.

Punk springboards into the uppercut and takes over with some very slow kicks. A baseball slide sends Punk’s ribs into the post and Kane focuses on them for a bit. Off to a bearhug and then a backbreaker for two. There’s a body vice as Bryan talks about the history with Punk and how their paths reached this point. See how easy it is? Back up and Punk escapes the chokeslam and hits a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered as you would expect it to be. Since that didn’t work he goes to the middle rope for the bulldog which gets two. He tries the GTS but the ribs give out. Big boot gets two for Kane. Bryan sounds like a kid at Christmas with the ribs being hurt.

Kane loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off and hits the Macho Elbow for two. He tries the Vice but Kane blocks it. Top rope clothesline puts Punk down and it’s chokeslam time. Punk hits the High Kick to counter and Kane goes to the floor. Suicide dive takes Kane out but Bryan pops up with a chair. He hits Kane which gives Kane the DQ win at 9:50 shown of 13:20.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but the main thing that hurt it was the slow pace of it. They were going by the numbers here but the ending helped it a bit. If a rib injury for Bryan to focus on is the best angle we can get to set up the match then we’ll have to go with it. I mean, WWE isn’t going to bother letting them cut promos on each other or anything so I’ll take what I can get.

Bryan runs and sees Punk with the chair near him, so he destroys Punk with it. Bryan hit Kane in the back if that clears anything up. A chokeslam in the ring leaves Punk laying.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

This is the result of an epic Twitter War this week over which title means more. If you don’t know who’s losing here, I can’t help you. Booker says the IC Title is a little more prestigious. Cody hits some knees to the ribs to take over but the moonsault press misses. Here’s the Cobra but Cody dropkicks him down for two. And never mind as the Cobra hits for the pin at 1:59. Hey Vince, congratulations on crushing a guy that could be a big star for you because his brother got fired. Seriously, why else could this be happening?

Since having a match go longer than two minutes is impossible, here’s Ace’s promo from earlier tonight to fill in time.

Now we spend TEN FULL MINUTES reairing the ENTIRE Big Show firing segment from Monday.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

There’s a TON of time left for this because nothing else has happened on this show. Feeling out process to start with Orton getting caught in a headlock. Randy speeds things up and hits a dropkick to take over. They go into the corner and it turns into a shoving match followed by a fight. A clothesline puts the champion down and Orton does his stomping, focusing on the ankle for a bit.

A knee drop misses and Sheamus comes back with right hands in the corner. Orton punches back but Sheamus’ are better and he takes over. Randy comes back with a clothesline to send Sheamus to the floor but he sends Orton into the steps. Brogue Kick misses and Orton rams Sheamus’ shoulder into the post. No one has had a distinct advantage at all so far. That’s Sheamus’ bad shoulder so there’s some psychology thrown in there.

Orton stomps on the arm to drive it into the steps as we take a break. Back with Orton bending the arm around the ropes. Some elbows to the arm keep Sheamus down as does a DDT on the arm. Off to a chinlock with an arm trap. Sheamus starts a comeback but gets sent into the corner shoulder first. The champ manages to send him to the floor and hits a high knee followed by the ten forearms in the ropes.

Sheamus knocks Orton off the apron and into the barricade as we take another break. Back with Sheamus dropping knees on Orton which eventually get two. Regal Roll puts Orton down and Sheamus loads up the High Cross. Orton counters that too, this time into the backbreaker. Sheamus charges at him but Orton hooks a belly to belly of all things. He tries the elevated DDT but Sheamus guillotines him on the top to escape.

Slingshot shoulder puts Orton down and there are the running ax handles. Powerslam gets two. Another Irish Curse attempt is broken up but another attempt connects for two. Sheamus goes up but Orton stops him with punches followed by a top rope superplex. That only gets two and they slug it out. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the rope and the elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Sheamus ducks. Brogue Kick misses and Orton tries the RKO again, but Sheamus drops down into a rollup for the pin at 16:35 shown of 23:35.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this at the end and the finishing sequence was very nicely done. They were setting up this as the match with both guys hitting everything they could other than their big move and then they threw a nicely timed curve ball with Sheamus winning with a rollup. The ending is also good as neither guy looks weak here at all and it keeps the main event on Sunday wide open.

Post match they shake hands and Orton RKOs him. That’s a pretty heelish move.

Overall Rating: D+. Until the good main event, this was on pace to be one of the worst Smackdowns that I can remember in years. The last quarter of it being good prevented that, but there are still major holes in this show. First of all, where were Jericho and Del Rio? They’re in this show’s main event and they’re not even on the broadcast for a promo? Second, Punk and Bryan is the most thrown out there main event in a LONG time. Even Bryan vs. Sheamus had a better build than this. Disappointing show, but a good main event helps it a lot.

Results
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young – Little Jimmy to Young
Daniel Bryan b. Zack Ryder – YES Lock
Kane b. CM Punk via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
Santino Marella b. Cody Rhodes – Cobra
Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Rollup

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Monday Night Raw – September 28, 1998: A Lot Happens Here

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 28, 1998
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 14,517
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s after Breakdown and we don’t have a world champion. Undertaker and Kane pinned Austin at the same time and Vince took the belt with him. This would set up the next PPV, Judgment Day, and the events that came after it. Also we don’t really have a #1 contender as the main event last week was thrown out. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Vince and his master plan which payed off last night.

The show opens with Austin’s music but Vince and his stooges come out with the title. Vince talks about how we’re doing this the hard way which is Austin’s fault. You better believe him when he guarantees something. There’s no rematch either. Cops are waiting in the back to welcome Austin to the show. Tonight there’s going to be a new WWF Champion who will get the REAL WWF Title belt. The Smoking Skull title is going to go over Vince’s mantle. First though, Vince has Slaughter put the Skull title around his waist so he can pose a bit.

Tag Titles: Southern Justice vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are just ridiculously over. Jerry says that he’s not going to talk about an alleged incident with Jim Carrey on the set of Man on the Moon which of course is kayfabe. Canterburry vs. Gunn to start things off and a flapjack gets two on Billy. Knight comes in to double team but it doesn’t last long. Now he comes in legally but walks into a neckbreaker for two. Off to Roadie for the shaky knee but Canterburry hits a knee to the back and a clothesline to take over. Back to Billy who cleans house and hits the Fameasser but Jarrett comes in with the guitar. Roadie steals it and hits Knight with it for the short DQ.

Billy yells at Roadie post match and tension is teased. X-Pac comes in and Billy shoves him down before leaving. HHH comes out but Billy walks past him.

Oh and that would be Southern Justice’s last match on Raw.

Dan Severn vs. Owen Hart

This is a submission match. Severn comes out with the NWA and UFC Titles. Cole is outside DX’s locker room and hears a lot of yelling. Severn throws his towel at Owen and catches an easy charge. It turns into a fight on the mat and you know Severn is more than comfortable with that. Severn suplexes him down and adds a powerslam. Owen hits a spinwheel kick to take Dan down and adds a powerslam of his own. There’s the dragon sleeper but Owen reverses into the Austin killing piledriver and Severn is unconscious so the match is stopped.

We get a stretcher job for Severn as Owen appears concerned. This would basically be it for Severn in WWF other than a quick return in January. This was storyline from what I can tell.

Vader vs. Al Snow

Vader has Sgt. Slaughter with him for no apparent reason. The fans want Head. Vader takes him down pretty quickly and drops some elbows on the leg. Belly to belly suplex gets two. Snow comes back with some clotheslines but can’t hit the Snow Plow. Vader takes him down but Vader hits an enziguri for two as Sarge makes the save. The distractions lets Snow get a Head shot for the fast pin. Vader would be gone soon.

Billy Gunn is walking out.

Edge vs. Gangrel vs. D’Lo Brown vs. Darren Drozdov vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Marc Mero

You have two in the ring and one on each corner, it’s elimination rules and the winner gets a European Title match next week on Raw. Edge and Gangrel start things off with Edge in control. He misses a cross body and gets caught in a dragon screw legwhip. La Magistral pins Gangrel and Brown comes in to beat down Edge. A DDT gives Edge control and he tags out to Droz. Droz looks to be mostly bald now and cleans house.

Brown tags Jarrett who hits the Stroke to take over. Dropkick puts Droz down but there’s still no cover. Droz hooks a quickly broken sleeper and they head to the floor for a double countout. So it’s Edge, Mero and Brown left. Mero and Edge go at it and Mero hits a Samoan Drop. He loads up the Wild Thing but Brown shakes the rope to crotch him. Edge ranas him and avoids a Low Down which hits Mero. A dropkick puts Brown on the floor and Edge gets the easy pin. Edge dives on Brown but Gangrel and “that kid we saw last night” distract Edge so that Brown hits the Sky High for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note but the idea behind it was pretty solid. I’d like to see this kind of thing again but I don’t ever really recall that many of them. Obviously Edge would have some more business soon with Gangrel and Brown would go on to win the title back next week before losing it back to X-Pac in another few weeks.

Oh and “that kid we saw last night” would soon get a name: Christian.

Gangrel and Christian run into the crowd and Edge goes after them.

Here are Vince and company for the presentation of the new champion. It’s the old winged eagle title which is under a glass case. He announces the new champion as The Undertaker. Oh wait he’s just bringing Taker out. The second candidate is of course Kane. Vince is about to make the announcement but here’s Austin on a Zamboni machine. He dives over the top rope and takes out Vince before getting arrested.

Post break Vince is back in the ring with everyone and Vince is all upset. He’s not going to live up to his word. Undertaker and Kane are going to have to fight for the title at Judgment Day. Oh and Austin is going to be referee and Vince is going to be there. Tonight it’s Undertaker/Kane vs. Shamrock/Rock/Mankind. Vince says the giants are handicapped: one is physical and the other is mental. Undertaker says the next time Vince crosses them, Vince will be the one that’s handicapped. Vince laughs and the beating is on. They go after Vince’s knee and Taker puts a hold on it before crushing it in the steps, breaking it.

Vince gets treatment post break.

Mark Henry vs. Farrooq

Chyna is guest referee. Henry attacked HHH last night to set this up. What Farrooq has to do with it I’m not sure but I guess he fills in a spot. Henry runs over Farrooq to start and knocks him to the floor. World’s Strongest Slam gets no count. Henry loads up a gorilla press but Chyna hits him low so Farrooq falls on him. A fast count gets the pin.

Post match someone serves Chyna with papers which she tears up. Henry picks up the pieces.

Vince is being taken out and Mankind is trying to cheer them up.

Shamrock doesn’t like Detroit but he likes getting his partners back for last night.

Oddities vs. Headbangers

The ICP, Detroit natives, play the Oddities to the ring. It’s Golga/Kurrgan here. The Headbangers jump Golga to start and it’s Mosh officially starting for the Bangers. Golga gets beaten up for awhile but shrugs it off and makes the tag to Kurrgan. The ICP trips up Thrasher and Kurrgan splashes him for the pin. This was nothing.

Rock talks about winning the cage match last night and becoming #1 contender. Being the WWF Champion means nothing compared to being the People’s Champ. You can feel the famous Rock coming out in this.

Terri is apparently looking for her earrings while on her knees in front of Val.

European Title: Val Venis vs. X-Pac

Pac has an eye injury because of a guitar shot from last night. Val slams him down a few times but misses a headbutt. BIG spinwheel kick takes Val’s head off but Val’s big boot takes him down in turn. There goes the eye patch. Val pounds on him a bit more but a kick takes Val down. Pac nips up and loads up the Bronco Buster but Terri trips him up. Fisherman’s Suplex gets two and here’s Chyna. She shoves Terri down so Val gets in her face and drilled for a DQ. These short matches are getting annoying.

Val and Terri get in the ring and kiss but get cut off by Goldust’s music. The place gets really excited for Goldie actually, who says that he told Val that “he was coming back.”

Mankind talks about how nothing is standing in his way tonight and admits that the elbow he dropped last night was awful.

Mankind/The Rock/Ken Shamrock vs. Undertaker/Kane

There’s a ton of time left for this. Mankind and Shamrock come out first and get in a fight. Here’s Rock who Shamrock stares down the whole way. Now they go at it before Undertaker and Kane are even here yet. Mankind gets back in and it’s a three way fight until Taker and Kane get here. Why would they even come out until the other three are all beaten down?

Even with the giants in the ring, the three of them keep fighting each other. Mankind and Shamrock fight on the floor while Rock is on his own. Rock vs. Taker officially gets us going and the dead man is totally in control. Old School puts Rock down and it’s off to Kane. Rock gets in a clothesline and makes the tag off to Mankind who doesn’t do that well.

Back to Undertaker with Mankind in trouble in the corner. Shamrock comes in and knocks Mankind to the floor so Rock beats him up. It’s Taker vs. Shamrock now but Kane comes in quickly. Shamrock dropkicks him and a standing rana puts Kane down. Off to Mankind again and they head to the floor with Foley hitting that always awesome flip dive off the apron.

Kane takes over back inside, hitting the top rope clothesline for two and a tag. Mankind makes a brief comeback but falls to the floor. Both monsters follow and Kane hits a SICK chair shot to cave in Foley’s already dented skull. That only gets two inside for Taker because there hasn’t been a full on murder yet. JR gets in a jab at Hogan, saying you don’t see any bald 45 year olds playing the air guitar here.

Mankind gets a kick to Kane’s face but can’t make the tag. Things look to break down again but Undertaker stops the tag and drags Foley back to their corner. Double arm DDT puts Kane down as the referee says three minutes left. Double tag brings in Rock vs. Undertaker and a DDT puts Taker down for two. People’s Elbow gets the same and everything breaks down. Shamrock and Taker get in there eventually and a big boot puts Ken down but he grabs the ankle lock.

Kane saves and goes to the floor with Shamrock. Undertaker sends Rock into the ropes and they botch something BAD. I think Rock was supposed to run at Taker and grab the Rock Bottom with Taker trying a clothesline and Rock countering. The problem is that Rock sold the clothesline, which was a good foot over his head and their shoulders collided. They try it again and Rock hits the Rock Bottom and gets the pin, which is the biggest of his career at that point.

Rating: D+. The match was a mess and I’m sure you can figure out why. What I want you to notice here is that this is how you put someone over. Undertaker, a big star, was beaten by a young up and comer. It wasn’t someone else doing the work and Rock got a pin on Undertaker. The Rock countered the Undertaker, hit the Rock Bottom and got a pin. Also Undertaker was more than a big enough star to not be hurt by this at all. That’s a huge upgrade from the usual “rubs” you see people get.

Overall Rating: C+. DANG a lot of stuff happened on this show. The wrestling, as usual, was pretty weak but at the same time a ton of stuff happened here which is where things get fun on a week to week basis. We had a famous moment, an arrest, a return, a HUGE win and a main event being announced. It’s not exactly a good show, but it was certainly entertaining which might as well be the battle cry of the Attitude Era.

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Monday Night Raw – September 21, 1998: Austin, Kane, Undertaker And…..Billy Gunn?

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 21, 1998
Location: Power Balance Pavilion, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Cornette, Shane McMahon, Kevin Kelly

It’s the go home show for Breakdown which will see Undertaker/Kane vs. Austin in what amounts to a handicap match. Other than that there isn’t much to talk about, but we have a freshly face Rock and a rapidly turning face Mankind so things have to be pretty entertaining around here this week. Let’s get to it.

Whoa where are Jim and Jerry? I can live with this new team though. Kevin Kelly is there too.

We open with Rock coming to the ring to meet Vince, Mankind and Shamrock. Undertaker and Kane are standing on the ramp to prevent Austin from attacking Vince. Tonight it’s Austin/whoever wants to join him vs. Undertaker/Kane. As for the other three in the ring, he’s here to ensure that none of them are going to be Austin’s partner tonight. Why should any of them settle to be a partner when they could be the same as Undertaker or Kane? By that, Vince means any of them could be world champion. If they don’t help Austin, they can be in a triple threat match tonight and the winner gets a title match next week.

Billy Gunn vs. Jeff Jarrett

Roadie has a throat issue so Billy has to do the entrance, complete with a cue card for his own name. All of the outside people are sent out and Billy jumps Jeff to start things off. Jeff escapes the gorilla press and a dropkick gets two for Billy. There’s a six man tag on Sunday between DX and Jeff/Southern Justice. Jeff comes back with a pair of dropkicks There’s the gorilla press from Gunn but Jeff pops up and hits a top rope cross body for two. DDT gets the same. Jim and Jerry are filming Man on the Moon apparently.

Billy misses a cross body as Shane is more fired up than anyone Raw has had on commentary in years. Out to the floor with Jarrett in control, only to be sent into the post by Billy. That does nothing at all as it’s back to Jeff stomping on him. Jeff goes up and hits Billy in the back as we hear about a Women’s Title match tonight, which would be the first time the title had been active in almost three years.

Russian legsweep gets two for Jarrett. Piledriver by Billy is broken up with a backdrop and both guys are down. Fameasser (not yet named) puts Jarrett down but a Stinger Splash misses and Billy runs into the referee. The guitar is taken away though and Billy hits a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but it furthered the feud between the two groups and helped to set up the match on Sunday which is about all you can ask for in a match like this. Billy was decent in the ring but I don’t think anyone wanted to see him as a singles guy ever. Jarrett got better in a hurry too.

We go to the back and Vince says he has no idea who will team up with Austin but the match is happening no matter what.

Here’s Austin for a chat. Things are starting to look bad for him because Undertaker and Kane are back there making deals with Vince. Undertaker says this is just business Coming after the title though is automatically personal because it means you’re coming after him. As for Vince, Austin isn’t going to moan about those stipulations because he’ll fight Undertaker and Kane on his own if he has to, just like he’ll do on Sunday.

Earlier today Undertaker and Kane arrived. I figured that would be confirmed when we saw them here earlier but you can’t be too sure I guess.

Headbangers vs. Oddities

Silva and Golga in this case. The Headbangers spray something in the giants’ eyes and choke Golga out before ripping up the Cartman doll. Kurrgan gets beaten up as well. No match.

Undertaker tells Austin to cool off with his threats. Due to his and Kane’s deal with Vince, they’re getting the title match.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Jacqueline

Mero stays on the apron and distracts Sable so that Jackie can get in a shot to her back to take over. Jackie fires off some kicks into the ribs and a DDT gets two. She misses a crotch attack on the ropes though and Sable goes into catfight mode with a take down. Sable throws Jackie to the floor and knocks Mero off the apron as well. She suplexes Jackie back in but Mero holds the foot for the pin and the title for Jackie. I don’t think there’s a belt. Too short to rate but as usual Sable was bad in the ring.

Undertaker/Kane vs. Steve Austin/???

Before Austin gets in the ring, Billy Gunn comes out to be his partner. Ok then. Brawl to start with Kane hammering Billy to the floor. Austin and Taker start things off with Austin hitting the middle finger elbow. Off to Billy who has to stick and move. Taker misses a big boot and gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Back to Austin who sends Taker into the corner but gets clotheslined down.

Off to Kane but Austin fights back and tags in Billy. Chokeslam is broken up but Undertaker’s distraction allows Kane to knock him over the top. Billy is sent into the steps and we head back in. Taker comes in and beats on Billy but lowers his head so Billy can get in a boot. Taker looks at him and takes Billy’s head off again. Back to Kane who hits a big boot for two.

A regular clothesline sets up the top rope clothesline for two. Austin makes the save and flips off Kane. Well at least he’s multitasking. Billy and Kane hit a double clothesline and Gunn makes the tag to Austin. Stunner doesn’t work but the second attempt gets two on Kane due to a Taker save. Everything breaks down and the referee goes down. Chokeslam to Billy by Undertaker is good for the pin despite them both being legal.

Rating: C-. Standard main event style tag match here but I’m really not sure why they picked Billy Gunn of all people to be his partner. I know they lost all of the other main event players but still, Billy Gunn? Not HHH? Anyway, the match was fine but I really don’t know what it does for Sunday.

Austin clocks both guys with a chair post match.

Southern Justice vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

8-Ball and Mark start things off with 8-Ball getting two off a legdrop. Off to Knight and Skull with Skull taking his head off with a clothesline. Sidewalk slam gets two. They head to the floor and here’s Jarrett with a guitar shot to Ellering. The match just kind of stops.

Vince says Undertaker and Shane are going to take care of Billy Gunn later.

A REAL MAN’S MAN is coming.

Al Snow vs. Sgt. Slaughter

This is a boot camp match, which basically means a street fight. Before the match Snow does the questions about Head. If Snow wins he’s reinstated but if he loses he’s gone. Sarge jumps him and rips off Snow’s shirt as Cornette says that Snow is as crazy as a rainbow trout in a carwash. Snow comes back with a superkick and a slingshot into the post. Snow has Slaughter’s belt and whips the Sarge’s back and they go to the floor.

He gets a chair but his swing hits the post. A chair to the back of Snow gets two on the floor. Snow shrugs that off and hits something like Poetry in Motion up against the railing. A moonsault off the barricade only gets two. Cornette is just great on commentary, snapping off all kinds of analysis and insane things but staying entertaining the entire time. Snow goes up top with the chair but as he moonsaults with it, Sarge moves and Al hits canvas. Cobra Clutch goes on but Snow escapes. He breaks it up again with a low blow and Sarge takes off his boot. That goes nowhere and a shot with Head gets the pin for Al.

Rating: D. This was nothing but a way to finally give Al a reason to be around every week, even though he has been for like four months. Sarge is only so interesting and it was pretty clear that he wasn’t going to win here. I like Snow but this did nothing for me for the most part.

Patterson and Brisco run in post match for a beatdown on Snow but Scorpio makes the save.

Rock says he’ll be champion soon, that Mankind is a piece of trash and that Shamrock is proof that anyone can act tough.

Val Venis vs. Owen Hart

Dustin is on commentary. Val talks about cigars before the match. This was in the Lewinsky scandal so I think you know where this is going. Owen takes over to start as Shane taunts Dustin about his wife being in two adult films with Val. Owen pounds on Val some more and Dustin comes in for the DQ.

Val knocks him back and ties him up in the ropes. There’s a third video with her from Val which has Terri saying she was considering a reconciliation but has changed her mind.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown is in the unusual position of having to use power here so he slams Pac down to take over. The legdrop hits but Brown poses too much. Brown misses a charge in the corner and Pac hits a spin kick, but the Bronco Buster misses and D’Lo takes over again. A middle rope moonsault misses Pac and he comes back with spinning kicks. There’s the Bronco Buster but Pac charges into the Sky High for a delayed two. Brown dives off the top but jumps right into the X-Factor to give Pac the title.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and for a midcard title like the European Title, it’s fine to make DX look even stronger. Also I’m glad they didn’t mention the Nation vs. DX feud as it’s been done for awhile now. Fun little match here and it worked pretty well. Pac would lose the title back pretty quickly though.

Mankind says he feels like the little engine that could. On his best early to mid-afternoon, he could beat Rock on his worst late evening. As for Shamrock, he knows a lot of holds and Mankind doesn’t know how to get out of any of them. It takes a very tough man to beat Mankind, but it certainly doesn’t take very long. I love this guy.

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Mankind

The winner gets a title shot next week. Rock and Mankind double team Shamrock to start but Mankind is the first to turn on his partner. They head to the floor but Shamrock hits a baseball slide to take out Foley. Foley comes back in the ring with the running knee to Shamrock’s head. Rock is down on the floor. Shamrock suplexes Mankind down so Rock comes in to pick their bones.

There’s the People’s Elbow but instead of covering, Rock throws Shamrock to the floor. He turns around and walks into a double arm DDT for two. Ken pulls Rock to the floor and sends him into the barricade. Back in, Mankind tries the Claw but Shamrock pounds away on his face. Shamrock has busted open Mankind’s left cheek. Rock comes in and it’s double/triple sleeper time. Foley comes back with the double jawbreaker and here come Vince, Kane and Undertaker.

Shamrock hits the belly to belly on Mankind and puts the ankle lock on him but Rock makes the save. Rock Bottom takes out Shamrock but this time Mankind makes the save. Shane hasn’t chilled out for the entire show which is both annoying and good at the same time. Undertaker pulls Mankind to the floor and the monsters beat him down. Rock hits his spinning DDT on Shamrock for two. Ken comes back with a standing rana and a powerslam for two. Shamrock gets sent to the floor and the monsters beat on him too. They get in the ring and beat down Rock so the match is thrown out somewhere in there.

Rating: C. I think it was pretty clear we weren’t getting a clean ending here and that’s ok. This was playing into the theme of drama all night long and that makes for a pretty interesting show most of the time. These three would have a cage match eventually with the winner getting a title shot, so at least we would get a winner there.

Post match Undertaker and Kane beat up Foley some more, which allows Austin to sneak up on Vince and beat him up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one where your taste will vary greatly. We’ve reached the point of soap opera Raws, as each show turns out to be a small piece of a huge story that won’t be revealed for months. That being said, it’s very interesting to see where these turns take us and it’s easy to see how this show was so successful. It would get better soon too.

Here’s Breakdown if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw – April 21, 2008: God Save The King

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 21, 2008
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request and since it’s taking forever to download some TNA shows, I figured I might as well knock some of these off in the meantime. This is the King of the Ring tournament so it’s a three hour special. Almost everything you have here is a tournament match, plus an eight man tag and a REALLY stupid other match. Let’s get to it.

Theme song gets us going. It’s still Papa Roach.

We open with Lillian telling us that the tournament is back tonight.

King of the Ring First Round: Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Jericho is IC Champion and MVP is US Champion. There’s no bracket yet and even JR and Lawler haven’t seen them. I don’t mind a champion losing so much here as one of them gets to look stronger. This is also the go home show for Backlash, which is a show I haven’t done yet. MVP takes him to the mat to start but Jericho comes back with some knees to the head and a kick to the same area.

MVP punches him in the corner as this is off to a hot start. Jericho drapes him over the top rope and mostly misses a baseball slide to the floor. MVP catches him coming back in with a knee lift and a kind of clothesline for two. He hooks kind of a modified abdominal stretch on the mat but Jericho gets up pretty quickly. Overhead belly to belly puts Jericho down for two. They do the Flair bridge up into a backslide spot which gets a good reaction in Horsemen country. Big boot gets two for MVP. Jericho comes back with a clothesline but the Lionsault misses. Play of the Day is countered into the Walls and Jericho advances.

Rating: C. Very basic match here but with a one night tournament you have to keep things that way. Again I don’t mind MVP losing clean here because it was to another champion and on top of that he would drop the title on Sunday anyway. Not much to see here but it was fine all things considered.

Jericho sits on the throne post match.

King of the Ring First Round: CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Punk has the MITB case. Feeling out process to start but it turns into a strike off, won by Punk. He takes Matt down for two and hooks a quick chinlock. Matt comes back with some headbutts and drives an elbow into Punk’s back off the middle rope. Matt’s bulldog is countered into the clothesline and bulldog out of the corner for two. Punk’s springboard clothesline is caught in the Side Effect for two. Twist of Fate is countered into a GTS which is countered into a sunset flip which is countered by Punk sitting on Hardy for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C+. Another short match here but this one was a little more fun than the previous one. The ending was pretty quick and that’s a good thing as it was certainly entertaining for a four minute match. Punk was on a roll at this point and he would win the world title in about two months. Matt would get the US Title on Sunday.

All we have as far as a bracket is Jericho vs. Punk in the semi-finals.

Tonight it’s Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton. That’s the really stupid match I warned you about. We see it in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 for a preview.

We get a clip from Raw last week of HHH vs. JBL when Orton ran in and HHH got double teamed. The fatal fourway on Sunday (those three plus Cena) is now an elimination match.

JBL says this Sunday he’ll take his place on top of the WWE. He was in the New York Times today.

King of the Ring First Round: Finlay vs. Great Khali

Khali is having issues with Big Show around this time. Horny is at ringside of course. Finlay charges at Khali but gets shoved down almost immediately. Khali shoves him down but misses a legdrop. Finlay pounds away but Khali shrugs him off and sends him to the corner. Horny comes in with the club but Finlay saves him. The chop puts Finlay down and Khali wraps Finlay’s leg around the post…..for a DQ? Apparently so. Too short to rate but this was nothing of note.

Big Show comes out but Khali won’t go for him until Sunday.

Finlay is helped out because of the knee attack.

King of the Ring First Round: William Regal vs. Hornswoggle

Twenty seconds, Regal Stretch. Finlay comes in to help but Regal beats him down and attacks the knee. Regal is GM at this point so shenanigans seem to be up.

The brackets are set for the semi-finals:

Jericho
Punk

Finlay
Regal

Video on the annual post Wrestlemania European tour.

Here’s Shawn for a little chat. Apparently Batista isn’t happy about Shawn retiring Flair at Wrestlemania so Shawn wants to talk about it right now. They have a match on Sunday with Jericho as referee for no apparent reason, although it would set up a six month feud between Shawn and Jericho. Here’s Batista and Shawn if Batista wanted to face Flair at Mania, which is what Jericho suggested on Smackdown.

Batista asks if that would make Shawn feel better. This isn’t about Flair anymore, but rather about Big Dave and Shawn. He respects where Shawn is, but not how he got there. He’ll finish this with Shawn at Backlash. Shawn appreciates the honesty but he’s everything Batista says he is. Whether Dave likes it or not, Shawn is Mr. Wrestlemania and there definitely is blood on his hands. Batista is going to need luck on Sunday. Shawn goes to leave but Batista spins him back around. Shawn gets into superkick position but Batista just walks past him and leaves.

Hilary Clinton gives the kind of promo/speech that a famous person gives when they talk to a wrestling audience that they don’t understand. This one isn’t terrible though as she mainly talks about how she’ll fight for America and lists some of her issues. It’s very corny, but I’ll give them points for at least talking like this. Obama and McCain will talk later.

Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito

Just….why? Oh this is something to do with the tag titles. Holly and Rhodes are champions coming into this. Carlito has his partner Santino with him. Feeling out process to start with Holly mainly in control. Carlito comes back with a backbreaker for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Carlito works on the back some more but misses a charge. Holly makes his comeback with clotheslines and the dropkick but his back gives out. He loads up the Alabama Slam but his back gives out again. Backstabber gets the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much. This would presumably set up the match on Sunday but it didn’t happen for some reason. Then again, no one cared at all about the tag titles so it’s not like anyone cared. This was really just a breather to allow everyone to transition from the first half of the show to the second.

HHH says he’ll win.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Both guys are tentative to start but both get quick twos. The first big move is Jericho draping him over the top rope out of a suplex. Punk tries a springboard but Jericho kicks his legs out and Punk is in trouble. Jericho tries a hammerlock but Punk takes his head off with a clothesline for two. They trade rollups like at the end of Punk’s other match but no one gets a pin. Walls are countered into a rollup for two.

Jericho hits an enziguri for two and this is getting good. Punk snaps off a powerslam for two. GTS is countered into the bulldog and Jericho loads up the Lionsault. It looks strange as Jericho tried to land on all fours because Punk had his knees up. Either way he stopped himself and hooks the Walls but Punk makes a rope. Jericho goes up but Punk high kicks him down. He puts Jericho on his shoulders and the GTS sends Punk to the finals clean.

Rating: B-. These two always work well together and this was no exception. Punk got a win here which made him look a lot stronger, which is what someone like Jericho is great at. Even four years later Jericho is still putting people over but it still means something, which is a great sign for a veteran like him.

Senator Obama gives a very corny speech, concluding with “do you smell what the Barack is cooking.” Just….no.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: William Regal vs. Finlay

Finlay has the bad knee coming in. Regal circles him to start but gets monkey flipped to the floor. Regal sends him into the steps and he hits knee first. Back in the ring and it’s time for a slugout. Regal goes shoulder first into the post for two. Finlay tries a fireman’s carry but the knee gives out. Back to the forearms and a rollup gets two. Regal hits him in the head with a knee and puts on the Regal Stretch. Finlay passes out to send Regal to the finals.

Rating: C. These two always have good matches as they’re always physical. The more I see of Finlay the more I appreciate him as he was really good at stuff like this. There was nothing for him to lose out there and he was going to be adequate at worst no matter who you put him out there with. Good stuff but short.

McCain uses a lot of wrestling lines and says go vote.

We run down the card for Backlash.

Cena says that you’ve heard everyone talk tonight and he has as good a chance as anyone else, but the advantage he has is he doesn’t have to go through himself.

Let’s get this over with.

Hilary Clinton vs. Barack Obama

There’s a Bill impersonator with Hilary, who comes out to Real American. No one reacts AT ALL. Obama comes out to Rock’s theme and I guess is the face in this. They’re impersonators in case you didn’t get that. It’s so weird seeing and hearing people not care at all about Hogan’s music. I mean there’s NOTHING. This is one of those times I feel ashamed about being a wrestling fan. They both cut promos on each other and Hilary’s is far better, as she’s played by a chick from SHIMMER. The fans still don’t care.

Is this supposed to be funny? Are we supposed to be this stupid to find this entertaining? Rock’s theme gets ZERO reaction either and Obama has huge ears. King gets the only funny line of this by saying that if Obama were facing Mike Tyson in this it would be a buffet. They have a “match” which isn’t completely terrible as both are played by wrestlers. Obama hits a Rock Bottom but Bill breaks up the People’s Elbow. Cue Umaga for a Spike to Obama and a Samoan Drop to Hilary. Bill runs away. This got TEN MINUTES.

Here are a bunch of face Divas to introduce the new Women’s Champion Mickie James. She beat Beth who was considered unbeatable so it was a big upset. It still amazes me how much more interesting the Divas were just a few years ago. Mickie thanks the other girls but gets cut off by Beth and some other evil girls. Remember when there were twelve Divas that could be in one segment and could all have at least a passable match? Beth says it’s not if she’ll win the title back, but when she’ll win it back. Michelle slaps Beth and the brawl is on.

Mr. Kennedy is coming back.

King of the Ring Finals: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Punk comes in with bad ribs because of the matches earlier. Regal is basically in his second match after the Horny match and beating an injured Finlay. Punk starts off fast with some kicks in the corner. He tries the bulldog but gets suplexed down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Punk fights up from that and hits a spinning kick to the knee.

Regal grabs the arms and forces him right back down to the mat as is his custom. The idea is that it’s strikes vs. grapples which is about as natural as you’re going to get with these two. Punk fights up again and hits a BIG kick to the head to stagger Regal. Spinning backfist sets up the high kick for two. That sounded great. Punk loads up the GTS but Regal grabs the rope. He escapes and hits the knee trembler, followed by the Stretch. Punk hangs on for almost thirty seconds but finally has to tap to give Regal the tournament.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean much but it gave Regal some more psychosis to work with which was a really entertaining time. Then it just stopped cold because it was getting too good and that’s how WWE works. Punk giving up because of the rib injury is ok because Regal didn’t win fairly (coming in at a big advantage), which is fine.

Regal’s psycho look while he sits on the throne is still great.

Here’s Orton for the main event but first he brags about how awesome he is and how his title reign will continue after Sunday.

Randy Orton/Edge/Chavo Guerrero/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena/HHH/Kane/The Undertaker

Orton is Raw champion, Edge is challenging Taker on Sunday, Chavo is challenging Kane, JBL is challenging Orton, Cena is challenging Orton, HHH is challenging Orton, Kane is ECW Champion, Undertaker is Smackdown champion. Now that’s a packed main event. How out of place does Chavo look here though? After the entrances take forever to get through we’re ready to go. Seriously, there were ten minutes spent on entrances PLUS a commercial. That’s ridiculous.

Taker and Orton look to start but Edge jumps Taker in a surprise. This goes badly for the Canadian as a big clothesline puts him down. Old School hits (hasn’t that been called old longer than it wasn’t called old?) and we take a break after 40 seconds. Back with Chavo tagging Edge in to work over a downed HHH. The spear is countered into a spinebuster and there’s the tag to Cena.

He starts his finishing sequence very quickly on Edge but Chavo low bridges him on the Shuffle attempt. JBL throws him back in clean which shocks Jerry. Off to Orton who does nothing so it’s JBL again. Russian legsweep gets two as does a clothesline. Edge comes in and the Cena chants begin. Edge gets a big boot and it’s off to Orton for a chinlock. Cena stands up but it’s a double clothesline and both guys are down.

The tags are made to Chavo and Kane with the Big Bald cleaning house. All of the evil team goes down and a side slam puts Chavo down. The top rope clothesline mostly gets shoulder and everything breaks down. Chavo counters a slam attempt into a DDT but as he goes for the Frog Splash Kane chokeslams him down. Out of nowhere though Edge spears Kane for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a main event tag match and that’s about it. They covered almost everything and they had the most secure winner at the PPV (Kane) take the fall which is a good thing. Not a bad match but it’s just a way to throw everyone into the main event at once, which is fine for building up the PPV main events.

Edge takes an FU post match, HHH takes the Clothesline, RKO to HHH and a double chokeslam to JBL and Orton. Undertaker stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really entertaining show that went by fast. I’d have liked to see some better wrestling in there but the matches had to be fast due to the tournament. I’m glad they didn’t go to any double eliminations as in an eight man tournament that’s kind of excessive. Good show though and I want to watch Backlash now so that’s a great sign. Good stuff.

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Smackdown – May 4, 2012: Hallelujah!

Smackdown
Date: May 4, 2012
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is the first show after Extreme Rules and Sheamus has retained the title against Daniel Bryan. Other than that there isn’t much other than Orton beating Kane in the falls count anywhere match. Sheamus needs a new challenger now and all signs point to it being Del Rio which is nothing that I’m interested in but this is WWE so who cares? Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is whatever lunkhead turned on the lights in the middle of the Avengers.

Here’s Sheamus to open things up. He says he’s doing what he loves to do: fight. He doesn’t care where he is, because he just loves fighting. Bryan almost tore his shoulder off at Extreme Rules so tonight, Bryan can try to finish it. He was asked if he wanted to fight Bryan, and his answer was YES. Sheamus starts a YES chant and here comes Bryan for a gimmick infringement complaint. Sheamus says YES probably 40 times here, which is probably a record.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

This is non-title I think. Sheamus tries for a headlock as Bryan goes for the arm. Bryan takes it to the mat but Sheamus fires off a punch to break that up. A single arm DDT takes Sheamus down as Booker breaks his vow from a few weeks back and calls him D. Bry. Off to an armbar but Sheamus gets up pretty quickly. He comes with the power and starts pounding Bryan down in the corner. A running knee lift sends Bryan to the floor but Ricardo Rodriguez jumps off the top onto Sheamus for the DQ at 2:48. This was an angle rather than a match.

Del Rio comes in with the cross armbreaker and Bryan throws on the YES Lock to leave Sheamus laying. Bryan yells at Del Rio as referees hold back Sheamus.

After a break Sheamus is getting his arm looked at.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Hunico/Camacho

Epico, Primo, AW and Rosa watch from the ramp. AW has officially signed the former champs. Truth and Hunico start things off with Hunico slapping Little Jimmy. Is that child abuse? Off to Kofi who comes in off a springboard clothesline for two. Kofi gets sent to the apron and Hunico gets in a shot to send him outside. Camacho gets in a clothesline on the floor and Hunico adds the hilo for two.

Camacho comes in and gets two off a legdrop. Back to Hunico who comes in with a slingshot dropkick to Kofi who is seated in the corner. A monkey flip by Kofi sets up the hot tag and Truth comes in with the pelvic thrusts. Lie Detector gets two on Camacho and everything breaks down. A rana sends Hunico and Kofi to the floor so the Little Jimmy can get the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D+. Nothing tag match but I guess it set up the idea of Primo/Epico continuing the feud with Kofi/Truth. Wait did I just call that a feud? It means that sometime there’s going to be another tag title match and a probably house show program. Can we just look at Rosa some more instead?

Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger

Brodus hits a quick belly to belly suplex for two and runs Swagger over with ease. Ziggler offers a distraction and Jack hits something like a spear to take over. Ziggler tries something off the steps but runs into the headbutt. Back in the ring the suplex looks to set up the splash but Jack rolls to the floor and takes the countout at 1:43.

More annoying kids get to dance with Brodus post match.

Video on the Cena vs. Lesnar match on Sunday. This transitions into the end of Raw where Ace revealed himself as Cena’s next opponent.

Del Rio and Bryan are arguing in the back and Eve has to break it up. Ace is taking a day off for some reason so she and those great glasses of hers are in charge. Bryan wants to continue his match with Sheamus and she says maybe. Eve throws both of them out.

Damien Sandow vs. Derrick Bateman

Sandow comes out to the Hallelujah Chorus and in a Bob Backlund robe and towel. He’s introduced as the Intellectual Savior of the Masses. Sandow says that he won’t do anything here tonight because it won’t teach the masses anything, so he’s out of here.

Bateman wants the match he earned the right to on NXT. We have a replacement for him.

Ryback vs. Derrick Bateman

Ryback has some pyro now. Booker thinks of Devastation Inc. when he looks at Ryback. There’s a stable I never want to think of again. Big boot, Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder, clothesline, MuscleBuster, 1:11.

Kane/Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton/Big Show

Cody and Randy get us going. Cody goes into the buckle quickly and cowers away from Show. The big bald comes in to crush Cody in the corner and brings back Randy. A knee drop gets two as does a dropkick. Off to Kane for a slugout with Orton and the Viper is in trouble. Kane sends him into the corner and it’s off to Big Show. He comes in with a spear to Kane and takes down Cody as well.

Kane gets a DDT to Big Show and we take a break. Back with Cody stomping on the former champion and then tagging Kane back in. The low dropkick gets two and it’s time for the chinlock. Show comes back with a belly to back suplex and it’s the hot (I guess?) tag to Orton. He powerslams Cody but Kane breaks up the elevated DDT.

Instead it’s the Big Fried Freak taking the DDT and Randy sets up the RKO. Kane shoves him off and Cody low bridges Orton to the floor. Kane follows him out and hits a big boot which gets two. Back to Rhodes for some knee drops and a dropkick for two. Kane comes in again and walks into the backbreaker.

A clothesline breaks up the hot tag and the champ is in again. Cody hooks a quick chinlock and tries Cross Rhodes but Orton shoves him off. There’s the tag to Big Show who cleans house. Kane breaks up the chokeslam with the top rope clothesline but Orton hits an RKO on the masked one. WMD gets the pin on Rhodes at 10:47 shown of 14:17.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill tag match here which didn’t really change anything. The champion gets pinned by the same guy that has beaten him on multiple occasions already so Rhodes looks even weaker. Orton and Kane would seem to be through but they keep at it here again. There might be a match at Over the Limit but Orton has already won two matches against him so I don’t know if I’d get the point.

Post match we’re told that Big Show will get his rematches at live events this weekend. There’s a rarity.

Sheamus is taped up and says he’s fighting tonight.

Layla vs. Natalya

They go to the mat and it’s a standoff. Natalya works on the arm and hits a discus lariat for two. Abdominal stretch goes on but Layla gets a sweet rolling counter for two. Layout ends this quickly at 1:58. Layla is more interesting than most of the other girls but giving her two minutes a night isn’t going to get anyone anywhere.

Antonio Cesaro and Aksana are taking publicity photos in the back under Eve’s supervision. She thinks Antonio needs oil and makes Teddy put it on. Teddy says no but does it eventually.

Alicia and Kaitlyn are standing around doing nothing when AJ comes up. Alicia leaves and AJ asks for Kaitlyn’s forgiveness. Kaitlyn says she felt betrayed and was just trying to be her friend. She tells AJ to stop feeling sorry for herself and earns another slap.

Raw ReBound is about HHH vs. Lesnar.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Del Rio is on commentary. Sheamus’ shoulder is taped up. There sure are a lot of arm injuries floating around this company lately. Sheamus basically has to fight from his right side here. He shoves Bryan down and fires off some elbows in the corner. Bryan comes back with a kick to the shoulder to take control. Sheamus keeps trying to play defense so Bryan keeps going for the arm.

Sheamus manages a tilt-a-whirl slam but the Brogue Kick is ducked and he falls to the floor. We take a break and come back with Bryan hitting the running knee off the apron. Back inside Bryan ties the arm up in the ropes and kicks Sheamus down to the floor. The shoulder goes into the post and back inside a Swan Dive to the shoulder gets two. The tape is ripped off now and Sheamus is in trouble.

Bryan drives knees into the shoulder and hooks both arms on the mat. The champ tries to fire off some elbows to the head but can’t break through. Bryan goes to send him into the post but Sheamus reverses to send Bryan’s shoulder in and give himself a breather. Here are the forearms to the chest and a suplex back in gets two. Bryan charges into the Irish Curse with the left (the bad) arm for two.

Sheamus goes after Daniel but gets his arm draped over the rope. A missile dropkick gets two and Bryan is frustrated. Sheamus hits the double ax out of nowhere and loads up the Cross but here’s Del Rio for a distraction. He doesn’t interfere though so it isn’t a DQ. Bryan tries to sneak in the YES Lock but Sheamus shoves him into Del Rio. Sheamus sends Alberto to the floor and Bryan goes up. That goes badly though as he dives into the Brogue Kick (most of one at least) for the pin at 9:25 shown of 12:55.

Rating: B-. This was a different kind of match than Sunday but it was still good. I don’t get the point in having Bryan get beaten again when you had Del Rio interfering already. Just go with the DQ and set up the next title feud that way instead of taking away some of Bryan’s momentum. Still though, another good match between these two who have good chemistry.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all about transitioning over to Sheamus vs. Del Rio and that worked to a degree. At the same time though, they did it at the expense of Bryan who is going to be getting a world title match at the PPV so that wasn’t the best idea. Other than that though, nothing really happened on this show. Nothing was bad and the tag match was ok, but it’s pretty much a forgettable show other than the main event stuff, which is ok.

Results
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Hunico/Camacho – Little Jimmy to Camacho
Brodus Clay b. Jack Swagger via countout
Ryback b. Derrick Bateman – MuscleBuster
Randy Orton/Big Show b. Cody Rhodes/Kane – WMD to Rhodes
Layla b. Natalya – Layout
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

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