Monday Night Raw
Date: December 26, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s solid show, we close out the year with this one. There are still five weeks before the Rumble so they could easily burn another show here and things would still be fine. It should be interesting to see where they go here because there really aren’t any matches set up for the PPV, other than maybe Ziggler vs. Ryder II. Other than that there isn’t anything really clear. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk….and never mind as it’s Ace coming out to his music and in a Punk shirt. He says it’s a microcosm of the unpredictability that you’ve gotten under his leadership. The future begins tonight and here’s Punk. After a loud chant for him, he says that if he didn’t know any better, Ace is trying to antagonize him. Why shouldn’t Punk just kick him in the face right now? Ace says he can’t because he’ll get fired.

Tonight, Punk has the night off. Oh and he’s kidding again. Tonight Punk is wrestling up to three times in a gauntlet match. If any of them beats him, that person gets a title shot next week. Punk wants to know what happens if he wins all three matches. Ace doesn’t know, so Punk suggests he gets a shot at Ace if he does. Ace eventually agrees. Punk’s posing is cut off by the latest video. It says he is coming and that he’ll reclaim what is his. The words this time are The End Begins Next Monday.

Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes

Non-title here. Cole and Jerry has an actual lighthearted argument over who sang Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Hiptoss gives Booker an early advantage and a slam gets two. Snap suplex gets one. Axe kick misses though and Rhodes takes over with a neckbreaker. Out to the floor goes Booker and we take a break. Back with Booker taking over. He spins into the corner though and an elbow takes him down. Off to a crossface chickenwing

Clothesline gets two for Cody. The fans of course chant for Booker and Cody is getting frustrated. Booker fights back and it’s boo/yay tonight. Cody dropkicks him down and works the arm. Camel clutch goes on and Booker gets sent into the corner. He gets his feet up though and looks like he needs oxygen. Side slam gets two. The Jack Brisco sunset flip doesn’t look that good as it gets two. Rollup gets two for Cody. The Beautiful Disaster looks to have been short and it gets two. Cross Rhodes is countered but the side kick misses. The axe kick hits though and it gets the clean pin at 12:06.

Rating: C. The sloppiness hurt it and I’m not sure I like the idea of Cody losing clean. Booker looked kind of old here, but it’s what, his fourth match this year? Not bad and I guess the rematch is coming at the Rumble? Also the booking isn’t bad as he lost when he got beaten down before the match but wins when it’s even. That’s not as bad.

Ryder tells Cena that he owes Cena for everything. Cena says no, you don’t. Everything was Ryder getting here on his own. Cena is going a-Kane hunting though.

Jerry got a note saying that we’ll learn the three opponents for Ace soon. Oh ok he’s going to announce them. The three opponents are Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler and Mark Henry.

Kelly has some weird flirting moment with Show when a referee says he’s needed elsewhere.

Ace says Brodus is debuting next week on Raw. Show comes in and Ace talks about Otunga jumping him last week. Otunga says that’s a lawsuit and Show says he can beat Otunga with an arm behind his back.

Swagger and Ziggler trade insults when Vickie comes in and says it doesn’t matter who gets the show. Henry comes in and says excuse me. Ok then.

Eve Torres/Zack Ryder vs. Tyson Kidd/Natalya

….seriously? This is kind of a step down for Ryder isn’t it? Eh well he was getting over and he wasn’t in the original WWE plans so you know they’re not going to be happy with it. Cole says that July 23rd will be the 1000th episode of Raw. Oh my that could be BAD. The guys start and nothing happens so it’s off to the chicks. Eve does her dancing moonsault and it’s back to the guys. We get stereo Broski Boots and the Rough Ryder ends this at 3:00. No idea why Ryder was in this.

Here’s Cena who isn’t well received by the fans. He acknowledges that the fans aren’t happy with him and there’s a Cena Sucks chant. Cena talks about how there’s magic in this building in the form of three Wrestlemanias. Chicago inducted Eddie Guerrero into the Hall of Fame, which draws an Eddie chant. Also, right here in this building, CM Punk beat him for the WWE Championship.

New York is considered the capital of the WWE, but after seeing another show like this here in Chicago, he’s not sure about that. Cena has somehow gotten the Chicago crowd on his side. Right now though, he’s going to call out Kane. Cue Miz instead. Miz wants to face him right now because the win at Mania was tainted. Miz wants Rock to beat Cena and tonight he wants the last image of 2011 to be him standing tall over Cena. Cena wants Miz to shut up and wash the tan off his body. Get a referee out here right now and let’s do it.

John Cena vs. The Miz

The fan that catches Cena’s shirt won’t throw it back. Good, he’d be stupid to do so. Cena controls early with a headlock and the fans are split on him. That’s a step up for him in Chicago. Miz heads to the floor and grabs a mic. The fans are chanting for the wrong person so he’s out of here. It’s a countout at 2:30, most of which happened during Miz ranting against Chicago.

Miz sets for his catchphrase and here’s R-Truth for the on the floor brawl. So I guess Truth is face again. He destroys Miz and says he could finish Miz right now, but there’s no fun in that. It’s like Christmas: once you open the presents, it’s all over. Every Monday Night should be like Christmas, so he’s going to take his time getting to Miz, because Little Jimmy says it’s ok. Truth hits him with a water bottle to end this.

Kane is officially here.

Big Show vs. David Otunga

Show must have an arm tied behind his back. It’s the right arm too so there’s no knockout punch or chokeslam. He’ll be at the relentless mercy of the offense of DAVID OTUNGA. Otunga gets sent to the floor and here’s Mark Henry. The match is officially thrown out at 2:00 despite Henry not touching him.

Henry clotheslines him down and here’s Bryan to distract show. He runs and Henry gets the arm loose. Otunga breaks up a chokeslam and takes it himself. Show officially wins by DQ. HENRY NEVER TOUCHED HIM!!!!

Here’s Del Rio but in a wheelchair. Ricardo, in a neckbrace, does the intro anyway. Jerry makes me laugh by giving us the information of the wheelchair, which is valued at about $200! Del Rio confirms the true rumor that he tore his groin last week. He says he’ll be back and here are the Bellas to berate the crowd. One of them says they’ll throw a party in his honor. It’s Nikki apparently. They get in an argument over who gets to throw the party so Alberto yells at them. He throws them out and blast it as they were looking good tonight. His New Year’s Resolution is that he’ll be champion again.

CM Punk vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry

It’s a gauntlet match and if someone beats Punk, they get a title shot next week. If Punk sweeps it, he gets a match with Ace, presumably tonight. The opponents are in the order listed so Swagger is up first. Swagger hooks a test of strength but Punk stays on his head to keep from going down. Here come the kicks but Jack comes back with a gutbuster to take over.

Punk tries a cross body off the top but Swagger (almost) catches him in another gutbuster for two. At least he has a strategy. He sets for the Vader Bomb but Punk jumps up and catches him in the GTS position. That doesn’t work so Punk kicks him in the head for the pin at 3:27. Here’s Ziggler next but Swagger takes out the knee almost immediately before the bell.

Punk says he can go and we take a break. Back with Ziggler working on the knee. Sweet dropkick gets two for Dolph. Punk fights back with a slingshot and tries a neckbreaker but Dolph goes back to the leg. Off to a half crab which lasts awhile. Punk fights back and the knee isn’t hurting so much now.

Using the good leg he fires off some kicks to the back and a big kick to the head for two. Fameasser is blocked and there’s the running knee in the corner. Vickie breaks up the GTS and the Fameasser hits this time for two. Cue Johnny Ace who ejects Vickie and Swagger. This is happening while Punk has Ziggler covered. The distraction lets the Zig Zag end Punk at 13:27.

Rating: C+. This was the ending I expected actually. It seemed too easy to go the way it was looking. Ziggler vs. Punk could be awesome if they give it enough time, which they probably won’t. Decent stuff here though and it’s good to see Dolph getting a chance to headline a Raw as he’s earned so far.

Here’s Kane to end the show. He talks about how the mask is his real face and everyone else is hiding. Cue Cena but Kane throws up a wall of fire to stop him. Kane says Cena is his target because Cena preaches to rise above hate. This world is a dark place and people should hate. Everyone hates, so why rise above it? He says that there’s hatred in Cena but he’s hiding from it. There’s a Cena chant. In Chicago. Man that’s scary.

Kane talks about how Cena will be free once he embraces the hate. Now the chant is dueling so the world is more correct. The people are going to help Cena embrace his hate. The last thing Cena will hear is them chanting Cena sucks. Kane needs some lessons from the Spirit Squad because they don’t go along with Kane’s idea. There’s a mild dueling chant and Cena has to overact and make it seem like it was deafining. He hangs his head to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I wasn’t so huge on this show. There’s some ok stuff in here but the show felt like other than the beginning, there was a lot of stuff just thrown in there with no real thinking behind it. I liked the ending as we got a reasonable (by Kane’s standards) explanation of why he’s going after Cena. Dolph vs. Punk should be good and that’s what they’re shooting for here, which is ok. Not a terrible show but kind of weak.

Results
Booker T b. Cody Rhodes – Axe Kick
Zack Ryder/Eve Torres b. Tyson Kidd/Natalya – Rough Ryder to Kidd
John Cena b. The Miz via countout
Big Show b. David Otunga via DQ when Mark Henry interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. CM Punk – Zig Zag

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What do you think about this?

 

I’m not sure how to take this yet.  Kane is one of my favorites, but I’m really not sure what the point is in having him (seemingly) come back as a heel.  It’s too early to tell obviously but this could be kind of stupid.  It gives Cena something else to do until probably the Rumble, but after that I’m not sure.

 

As for the mask…..why?  He had his greatest run without it and his second best run with the original.  This one now is like the one he had in 02-03, when he had his worst results (no world title).  Also, WE KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE.  There’s my mystery to it at this point.

 

As for the talk of Kane vs. Taker III at Mania…..no.  ANYTHING but that.

 

Your thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested:

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 21, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We have arrived. This is the show with probably the most famous and best TV tag match in company history if not wrestling history. It’s Austin/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho in a tag title match. The rest of the show doesn’t matter but last night was Judgment Day and HHH lost the IC Title while Austin is still world champion. Let’s get to it.

Austin is here immediately to open the show. He says he’s still the champion no matter how much the people hate him. Austin represents all of them and even though he’s a fighting champion, Undertaker doesn’t get a rematch. There’s no one in the WWF that can beat him, and here’s Jericho. He asks if Austin would shut up and asks him why he sold his soul to Vince. He sold his soul and is as big a sl** as Stephanie. The challenge for later on is made (Benoit/Jericho won a match last night to determine the #1 contenders) and it’s a big brawl with the partners coming in as well.

After a break the Two Man Power Trip (which has three people in it) rant a lot with HHH being the main hot head.

Angle gets here with his medals again. He shows them off to various people because there’s a ceremony later. Oh it’s this show. Nice.

Hardcore Title: Big Show vs. Rhyno

This is a more even match than it sounds. Rhyno gets weapons out but gets beaten down quickly. The size difference here is massive. Show suplexes him on the ramp but misses a charge into the post. Here are the weapon shots as Rhyno works over the arm. Getting rid of the chokeslam makes sense. Rhyno sets for the Gore but it hits a chair. Show hits something like a Van Daminator (minus the jump) and a chokeslam onto said can gives Show the title.

Rating: C-. This could only be so good. The match lasted about 4 minutes so it’s not like this was supposed to be a classic or anything. Show shrugged off the arm work which was kind of stupid and made Rhyno look weak, but the reign wound up being pointless as Jericho would win it the next week but lose it back to Rhyno the same night. Go figure.

Angle shows the medals to someone else.

Terri comes in to hit on the APA and pours beer on her top to mess with them. They’re facing the Radicalz next. The Radicalz jump the alcoholics.

Austin can’t find Debra.

Spike and Molly talk about their families fighting. Are they Romeo and Juliet? He gives her some Dudley Glasses as a good luck gift.

Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. APA

Farrooq beats on Dean to start us off. The beating they took doesn’t seem to really be hurting them that much so far. The double neckbreaker gets two on Malenko as this has been one sided so far. Suplex gets two for the future JBL. The heels have to cheat and a superkick puts Bradshaw down for two. Off to Farrooq who can’t get the Dominator on Saturn so Perry hooks a suplex.

Farrooq takes a quick beating but snaps off a powerslam to set up the double tag. Bradshaw cleans house so Terri flashes him….to no effect at all. Saturn takes a big beating with a ton of power moves, getting pinned by a pair of double powerbombs. This would be the start of the Saturn is loopy angle.

Rating: D+. This was pretty stupid. The pre-match beatdown didn’t mean anything and neither did the flashing. Saturn was getting too popular or something so they decided to give him the upcoming gimmick where he was nuts and wanted to date a mop. I can’t stand the idiocy of this company at times.

Regal is talking to someone when Austin comes up looking for Debra. Regal says she might have been attacked by Taker.

The soon to be face Edge and Christian decline to be in on Kurt’s gold medal ceremony.

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. X-Pac

Fast paced feeling out process to start with no one being able to take over so far. The fans all chant for Lita as this is still fast paced. Justin Credible distracts Matt so Pac can take over and let the cheating begin. JR and Paul argue over who “they” are (as in they call Justin the one man crime spree) as Pac/Credible crotch Matt on the post. Bronco Buster is still annoying. They slug it out and Matt blocks the X-Factor into a slingshot.

Pac grabs a backslide for two with the feet on the ropes. Other than a chinlock they’ve been going strong for like 5 minutes. Out to the floor where Jeff interferes and it turns into a big brawl. Lita tries to jump Pac which results in her getting flipped. Here’s Eddie for the save and he throws Pac into the Twist of Fate for the pin as Matt retains.

Rating: B-. For a six minute match, this was pretty awesome. They didn’t stop moving the entire time and it made the match a lot better. Pac can go when he’s in there with a smaller guy like Hardy and this is what you get out of it. As long as he’s not around big guys and overcoming the odds and making said big guy look like an idiot, this was fine.

Saturn is still out of it.

Angle is very happy looking as he comes to the ring. After a break here’s the medal celebration, complete with an Olympic style three place podium. Kurt reads from a scroll about what a hero is because San Jose is stupid. It’s pretty epic with fireworks and Heyman saying John Wayne wishes he could be the American that Angle is. Imagine how JR takes that.

This brings out Shane McMahon to I believe new music which is still awesome. I know he didn’t have it at Mania. He talks about WCW which is starting soon. Shane goes through the letters WCW, starting with W, which stands for World. We live in the world on the planet Earth. There are other planets like Mars, Jupiter, Pluto, and they all have moons. Kurt: “What are you talking about?”

Shane goes on to talk about the letter C, which stands for championship, which Kurt currently doesn’t have. It can also stand for crayon, coyote and for cookie, which is good enough for me. Kurt: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” (According to Eric Bischoff, it stood for commitment but continuity didn’t mean anything in WCW). The final W is for wrestling which he says as he walks up the podium. Angle runs up and hits a big old Angle Slam and the ankle lock to leave Shane laying. This was odd as Shane had no real reason to come out here. It set up a great brawl at KOTR though so no complaints there.

Debra is in the back and is fine. Austin comes in and she says she was just gone getting coffee. She apologizes and Austin says he was worried about her. He talks about Regal thinking it might have been Taker and here is that Taker, getting right in Debra’s face. Taker says it’s not over, which it more or less was. He says it’s personal and to keep his family out of it. Austin isn’t that much shorter than Taker. Taker leaves and Austin says he didn’t fight because Debra was there. Austin came off looking like a face here while Taker looked like a heel.

Shane is escorted out. And I’m sure we won’t see him all night long right?

Dudley Boys vs. Hollies

Molly isn’t tall enough to be the Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress and I don’t know of any Bus Stops in Dudleyville. That’s all the Hollies songs I know so no more references. Big brawl to start and Hardcore is sent outside so double teaming ensues. Bubba vs. Crash officially gets us going. Off to Bob vs. D-Von as the fans want tables. Spike and Molly are near each other on the floor which distracts D-Von, giving the Hollies the advantage.

Heyman is making Jewish references which are probably pushing the limits a bit too far. Suplex gets two. Hardcore’s dropkick is still sweet to watch. Crash gets a DDT for two. Bubba gets the hot tag and there’s What’s Up to Bob. It’s Table Time and JR asks why it’s always D-Von that has to get the tables. Spike tries to convince Bubba not to use it but Crash hits a baseball slide to send it into their faces. Crash tries to use the bell but Molly breaks that up. The bell winds up in the ring and upside D-Von’s head for the pin.

Rating: C-. The Hollies were an interesting team that were actually former tag champions, having a totally forgotten two week reign back in 1999. That being said, they were interesting in that they were rarely put into storylines other than hardcore matches or against each other but they were a fairly decent tag team. Fun little match here with a nice surprise at the end, which is usually the best part of a match.

Vince gives Kurt an IC Title shot against Kane. Kurt isn’t sure if that’s a reward. Vince wanted Kurt to hurt Shane even worse.

The more famous Dudleys yell at Spike about Molly. They declare that Molly is going through a table.

Eddie comes in to check on Matt before he and Jeff team up against Edge and Christian.

HHH reminds Austin that they’re a team.

Steven Richards is at WWF New York and announces that…..well I’m not sure as Heyman yells that NO ONE CARES and to go tell someone who cares. I don’t know if it was his voice or what but that cracked me up.

Eddie Guerrero/Jeff Hardy vs. Edge/Christian

Eddie vs. Edge starts us off and this is a pretty stacked tag match. Jeff speeds things up but Christian cheats like a good heel. He comes in legally now and gets a powerslam for two. Heyman shows what an analyst is supposed to do by asking the question of who would make a better partner for Eddie: Jeff or Matt.

See, that simple question is pertinent to the match and angle at hand, gets JR into the conversation, and isn’t something that there’s a clear cut answer to. Today you would hear about how one isn’t in the Fave Five and something about how Cole is going to do this or that and how something is trending on Twitter or talking about the main event. In about 4 seconds, Heyman has probably played more attention to a match than Cole has in a year.

Anyway, Jeff comes in with a jawbreaker to put Edge down and we get a double tag. Eddie snaps off a gorgeous headscissors and the non-Canadians beat Christian down in the corner. There’s Poetry in Motion but Eddie takes a spear and everything breaks down. Eddie might have pushed Jeff out of the way for it. Lita crotches Edge on the post and Eddie gets a sunset bomb on Christian for the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty nice fast paced tag match here. Unfortunately the Eddie and Hardys angle never got any resolution as Eddie would be sent to rehab later this month and would be released in November. After next week, he wouldn’t wrestle on Raw until April of 2002. Shame too because the angle was pretty intriguing.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Kurt Angle

Kane still has a bad wing. He takes over anyway with a powerslam early on. Kurt avoids a chokeslam and goes after the arm. A cross armbreaker doesn’t work that well so Kane gets Kurt on the mat and pounds away. The arm work continues for awhile until Kane fires back with a side slam and the clothesline. A big boot and another clothesline put Angle on the floor and here’s Shane for the return attack. He throws Kurt back in for a chokeslam to keep the title on Kane.

Rating: D. Pretty meh match here but it wasn’t terrible I guess. These two didn’t have a particularly good match when they wrestled at Mania either so maybe they just don’t click well. They had six minutes or so and it went by fast, but everyone was waiting on Shane to return and attack, so it was a pretty moot point anyway.

The Chrises say remember where we came from to get here.

Tag Titles: Steve Austin/HHH vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Here we go. Austin vs. Jericho gets us going and one of the belts is laying in the ring. Austin takes over with pounding boots but Jericho snaps off a cross body for two. A top rope elbow to the head scores for Jericho and he works on Austin’s arm. HHH comes in and the Canadians take over. Benoit chops Austin HARD and then hits a snap suplex for no cover. There’s a superplex for two as HHH saves.

Jericho comes in to even things out but it lets the champions take over. Benoit is like screw that and pounds them back, hooking the Crossface on Austin. HHH comes in with a big chair shot to break it up but Benoit kicks out to a big pop. Benoit goes into the steps for no count as he kicks out before the one. Austin pounds away on him and it’s off to HHH who hooks a cheating abdominal stretch.

Make that a sleeper as Benoit is in big trouble. Benoit manages to fire off a suplex to put both guys down and an enziguri is good enough for the hot tag to Jericho….but the referee doesn’t see it. The fans don’t like that at all. Jericho goes off with Austin on the floor as HHH hits the Pedigree. There’s no referee though so Jericho goes up and takes HHH’s head off with a missile dropkick.

There’s your hot tag to Jericho and he takes on the now legal Austin and HHH at the same time. Thesz Press is countered into a spinebuster and then the Walls but HHH makes the save. That right there, that save, resulted in HHH tearing his quad off the bone and would put him out of action until January of 2002. You could see HHH’s leg just stop moving. His leg is dead weight now.

HHH is like screw this potentially career ending injury and goes to set up the announce table. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Jericho counters into the Walls on the table, and remember that HHH has a torn muscle. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Benoit hits the swan dive on Austin but there’s no referee. Stunner to Benoit gets two as Jericho pulls the referee out. Lionsault gets knees and HHH finds the sledgehammer from somewhere. The second Lionsault hits but the hammer hits Austin and Jericho gets the pin and the titles as the place erupts!

Rating: A+. WOW this match holds up really well. After Jericho gets that hot tag, this is full speed ahead the rest of the way. The energy in this is great as they did everything they could to keep the Canadians down but in the end, HHH messes up to end it. Notice one very important thing here: Jericho had Austin (presumably) beat with the Lionsault, so it’s not like they got dominated the entire time and won on a mistake by the other team. That’s huge and it makes Benoit/Jericho look far stronger as the new champions.

Overall Rating: A. This is a great show overall with some very fun stuff throughout the night. Everything clicks and for a TV show, that’s almost unheard of. When you get a classic main event, you’re guaranteed a good show but a great show surrounding it makes this one of the best Raws I can remember in a very long time. Check this show out as it’s awesome stuff.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 14, 2001
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 12,022
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re just one week away from the big tag match but first we have one more show to get through. It’s the go home show for Judgment Day which is pretty much the end of the Two Man Power Trip vs. the Brothers so we’re going to be through that. There isn’t much else here to talk about so let’s get to it.

We open with a video from Smackdown of Taker waiting on Austin all night, including chilling in his locker room and stealing the vest. This includes a clip of Vince hitting Taker in the back with a chair that was in the Smackdown intro for awhile. Kane made his return to make the save.

Here’s Austin to open the show and he gets a solid reaction. They just didn’t want to boo him. Here’s the Game as well. Steph gives her husband a big introduction and isn’t quite that big herself yet. HHH says Kane should have just stayed away, but Kane couldn’t just stay away. For some reason, HHH offers Kane an IC Title match at the PPV in a chain match. HHH wants Kane here now but it’s Austin’s turn to talk.

He says he’ll keep the title and he doesn’t need to jump people from behind like Taker did to him. Austin demands more respect. For some reason, he wants to defend the tag titles against the Brothers. What’s up with the brave heels tonight? Austin says the tall ones won’t do it because they can’t and that draws out Taker.

Taker doesn’t approve of being called a coward and says he’s looking for someone brave enough to fight him. On behalf of Kane, Taker accepts HHH’s challenge which Kane would win. The tag title match is on too. Taker says that Austin said he doesn’t like traps. That means he’s not going to like this then and cue Kane’s fire. Kane pops up out of nowhere and they chase off the champs.

Kurt comes in to see Regal and it’s Kurt vs. Rikishi tonight. If Kurt wins, he gets to pick the kind of match he and Benoit have on Sunday.

Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi

Kurt tries to get behind him and suplex Rikishi and after about two seconds he goes over and hammers away instead. A clothesline puts Angle on the floor and we slug it out on the outside for a bit. Kurt avoids a drop and tries to hammer away but Rikishi is too big. They go into the corner and Rikishi loads up the Stinkface but here’s Regal for the DQ. Angle hits the Slam post match. Regal would beat Rikishi on Sunday where Rikishi would hurt I believe his shoulder and would be out until December. This match was nothing and pretty short.

There are cops on the way to find Taker.

Crash comes up to talk to Molly and he doesn’t like her talking to Spike. These two aren’t good talkers at all. Crash has a Hardcore Title match tonight. He’s only a 12 time champion here and says you can’t trust a Dudley.

Malenko wants to know what’s up with Eddie and Lita/Matt/Jeff. Saturn says Eddie is either with them or against them in the tag match tonight.

Here’s Trish who has music now. She says Vince won’t approve of this. The fans want to see more of her. Maybe they’d like to see more of all the Divas. There’s a new Diva video and here’s a clip of it. Lita and Trish in bikinis is never a bad thing.

The cops are talking to Taker in the locker room. The cop comes out and Taker bolts out the door. After a break the cop says Taker’s wife had a car accident and Taker is being escorted there. And you know that no one has ever lied about something like that in wrestling.

Hardy Boys vs. Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko

Lita is getting ready for a match later so the Hardys are on their own. Jeff and Perry start us off. Whisper in the Wind gets two and it’s off to Dean who cheats a bit. Dean works on the leg for a bit as JR gets the upcoming show announcements in. Everything breaks down and Perry has a chair from somewhere. Eddie steals it from him and the Twist of Fate ends Saturn. This was even shorter than the other match.

Post match Eddie clocks Saturn with the chair and officially turns face. Eddie would be gone from the company by the end of the month and wouldn’t be back for almost a year due to going to rehab and then getting released for a drunk driving arrest.

Austin talks to the cop and asks how Taker took the news. He’s a bit too happy about Taker being gone.

Hardcore Title: Crash vs. Rhyno

Crash speeds things up to start and hits a dive on the floor for two. A top rope trashcan lid shot to the head gets two. Rhyno takes over with a big shot and covers but Spike pops up out of nowhere to put Crash’s foot on the rope. Rhyno gets up and Gores Crash for the quick pin anyway. Crash beats up Spike post match. That was kind of odd.

Kane arrives in gear and Regal says it’s a handicap main event. If Kane doesn’t fight, both he and Taker are fired.

Edge/Christian vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Benoit still has Angle’s medals. Jericho vs. Christian to start but it’s off to the Canadian quickly. Oh wait that needs some more doesn’t it? It’s Benoit who beats on Christian for awhile, mainly with chops. Edge comes in and walks into a German from The Canadian. Edge breaks up a Crossface attempt and Christian takes over for a bit. The reverse DDT is countered into another Crossface attempt and another Edge save. I know he carried the team for awhile but this is ridiculous.

Off to Edge legally and they chop it out for a bit. The only one of these four that is still active comes in and chokes away. Edge and Christian didn’t really have any big kind of offensive repertoire at this point so them winning in a way other than cheating or a rollup or the occasional spear was rare. Benoit dives for a tag but Christian makes another save.

Benoit finally gets a hot tag a few seconds later and things speed up a lot. Jericho hooks the Walls on Edge but now Christian makes the save. It’s Conchairto time but they miss, sending the chairs together. Benoit dropkicks the chairs into their faces and here’s Angle to steal his medals back. Jericho hits a Lionsault on Edge for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and it’s really a tuneup for Benoit/Jericho taking the tag titles next Monday. They would be in a tag team turmoil match on Sunday to get the shot. Edge and Christian were on their final legs as a team here because they’ve outgrown the division and have nothing left to prove. It would take Christian years to get over as a singles guy though.

Angle celebrates on the ramp with his medals but Benoit says he hopes Angle finds them sweet, because they’re made of candy. He pulls the real medals out of his tights and says come get them on Sunday.

Post break Angle is still ticked and doesn’t know what he’s going to pick for the stipulations on Sunday.

Jericho talks about how he and Benoit beat Edge and Christian but the evil Canadians jump him and give him a Conchairto.

Here’s Regal who makes it a handicap match later tonight. Didn’t he already do that? Also the chain match is confirmed. Regal vs. Rikishi on Sunday as well. He gets ready to leave and here’s….Grandmaster Sexay? He says Regal needs to chill because Rikishi is cool now. Sexay is very annoying. Regal says he has no idea what Sexay just said and I’m not sure I did either. Sexay wants Regal to dance. He brings in four decent looking girls from ringside to dance with them. The look on Regal’s face is hysterical. Sexay suggests Regal doesn’t like women so Sexay dances with the girls. Regal finally beats him and Rikishi doesn’t save.

Debra is with Austin and is sad about Taker’s wife’s car crash. Austin says it won’t ever happen to her.

We recap the Canadian tag match and Jericho taking the Concharito.

I don’t know why or how, but that transitions into Rock on NBC Dateline.

Lita/Chyna vs. Molly Holly/Ivory

I don’t get that transition either. Ivory is the only heel in this match. Ivory vs. Lita to start us off. Lita does fine for a bit but Chyna won’t tag in. Molly comes in and Lita is kind of in a handicap match here. Molly hits the Molly Go Round but Chyna makes the save. A sloppy Twist of Fate sets up the moonsault for the pin on Molly. More or less a handicap squash.

Austin comes in to see Regal to make sure he understands the main event. He asks Regal if he thinks it’s fair to Kane. Austin demands that it be for the tag titles. Ok then.

Lita says she doesn’t know what Chyna was doing out there but she’ll get her Sunday. Chyna pops up to say that Lita needed to prove something to her. This didn’t mean anything as Chyna destroyed her in like 5 minutes Sunday and wouldn’t be seen again. She also says don’t trust Eddie.

We get a clip from earlier with Taker bolting from the arena.

The Austin racecar is at WWF New York. The driver is there too and doesn’t have much to say.

Stephanie talks to HHH who has a racecar debuting soon. She can’t get excited about it because she can’t stop thinking about the car wreck. HHH and Austin talk about how bad Taker’s wife might be after the wreck.

APA/Test vs. Big Show/Bull Buchanan/Goodfather

Show got a Stinkface on Smackdown at Test’s instruction so there’s your backstory. The good guys beat down Big Show before the RTC gets here. Oh never mind they’re here now. After a brawl we start with Goodfather vs. Faarooq but it’s off to Buchanan quickly. Big Show vs. Test at the PPV. Bradshaw comes in for a bad swinging neckbreaker. This is a rather sloppy match. Lukewarm tag brings in Test who hits a full nelson slam on Goodfather. Big Show comes in and botches a low bridge spot to send himself to the floor. Not that it matters as he hits Test with the steps and Buchanan steals the pin. Another short match.

Kane says this is for Sarah and Taker. He has a chain with them and says it’s for Austin and HHH.

Austin says he feels no remorse.

Tag Titles: Kane vs. Steve Austin/HHH

Kane has the chain with him. He also has a broken arm. They head to the floor quickly and Austin starts in on the arm. It doesn’t look like the champions have to tag. A double clothesline puts the champs down and Austin takes a powerslam. There’s a chokeslam but HHH jumps off the top with a chain shot and it gets thrown out.

Rating: C. No idea what to call this otherwise as it’s barely over three minutes long. The idea here was to get the guys out there and set up the post match beatdown which is kind of pointless since Kane already has a broken arm in the first place but whatever. Either way, not much of a match here but it could have been a lot worse which is the bright spot I guess.

Austin and HHH beat down Kane and Austin says Taker’s wife will be fine. I think the accident was faked by them to beat down Kane.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a pretty weak show but it was a very solid go home show for the PPV. Everything got at least some time which is the right idea for a show such as this. The PPV wound up pretty decent if I remember correctly. We’re still a few months away from entering the Alliance Era so we have that on the horizon. Anyway, good go home show here.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 2002
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,550
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well as you know there’s usually a reason as to why I do these random Raws and in this case this is the first ever WWE Draft. Tonight we split the roster in two to have Raw and Smackdown as independent (yeah right) shows with different owners (Flair on Raw, Vince on Smackdown) in the system we’re used to now. This was also 8 days after Mania so we’re still kind of transitioning to the new year. Let’s get to it.

Linda introduces us to the concept of the Draft where tonight we’re only going to have twenty picks, as in ten each. There’s a world title match tonight with HHH vs. Jericho vs. Stephanie so none of them can be drafted. Also Austin is undraftable uh…..because he’s bald. That’s as good an explanation as any (the official reason is he had it in his contract. How was that contract written? “In the event that the roster becomes too big to sustain one roster and must be split in half under a concept called the Brand Split I get to not be drafted? Imagine those negotiations. In reality he was having a contract dispute and wasn’t signed).

Taz vs. Mr. Perfect

Hennig had made a comeback here at age 44 where he still looked solid out there. He would be gone in like three months after getting very drunk on a plane. He would be dead in less than a year which is mind blowing. Hennig says he’ll be the perfect pick and sounds a bit shall we say buzzed. Jazz and whoever winds up being world champion can be on both shows apparently. Perfectplex but Taz gets the ropes. They collide in the corner and Taz grabs the Tazmission to end this QUICK. Taz says Hennig was JUST ANOTHER VICTIM. He was getting popular around this time too but his neck gave out and he had to retire.

Rating: N/A. Way too short but competitive enough. Perfect was still rather good and looked exactly like he did in his prime. Shame his personal life was more or less a disaster because he could have been used as a solid midcard guy.

The owners are both in their war rooms going over their plans. Vince has the first pick.

After a break we’re ready for said pick. We get a brief speech and the #1 overall pick is The Rock. Can’t say that’s a bad way to go. Hard to believe he more or less had a year left. Rock comes out and Vince runs down a bunch of stuff Rock can’t do anymore, namely catchphrases he can’t say. Rock stops him from leaving and proceeds to make fun of Vince, leading the crowd in a huge anti-Vince chant. He’s just absolutely awesome here. This was rather funny. Rock does one last IF YA SMELL since it’s his last night on Raw which is a nice touch.

We’re back and it’s time for Flair’s first pick. With nothing special to say, he picks the Undertaker who was in a big feud with Flair around this time. Wow it’s weird to think about Taker being on Raw. He throws some stuff and we get a nice little graphic with Taker’s stats on it. Rock got the same.

Vince is furious and Angle comes in to complain. Taker does the same and threatens Vince. It’s very weird to think that Taker started on Raw but he would be on Smackdown in about 4 months and has been there since.

Edge/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Booker T/Christian

These were both singles matches at Mania where both faces won. Edge was getting very hot very fast at this point and probably would have been world champion within a year had he not gotten hurt. Christian has the awesome entrance here with the high pitched singers saying AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOU OWN! I love that. It comes complete with Alberto’s current pyro. Christian cost DDP the European Title recently as well. Oh and Angle cost Edge a match vs. Booker.

The Draft Lottery is plugged even though most of the picks meant nothing. Edge and Booker start us off. This is another very short match where the Canadians go to the floor and DDP gets a Diamond Cutter on Booker. Christian with a save and Edge misses a spin kick by a mile but Christian doesn’t sell much of it, which I think was intentional. Axe Kick kills DDP for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was another very short one although it was better than the first match. Nothing all that bad in here but when a match barely breaks two minutes it’s kind of hard to say if it was good or not. With such little time how can they get anything going at all? This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t very good either.

Angle lists off a ton of his accomplishments to Vince in an attempt to be the #2 pick which is rather funny. Vince wants the NWO though, which apparently is drafted as a unit. Vince takes Angle as the second pick after some nice psychology from Angle, but Kurt ticked about not being #1.

Flair immediately hits the stage and says he’ll do everything he can do to get Austin on Raw, which he would do. Flair takes the entire NWO (Hall, Nash and X-Pac) in a surprise. Vince is FURIOUS but vows to get Austin. Angle talks to him a bit and Vince takes Benoit who was still out injured. Oddly enough when he came back he started on Raw before moving over to Smackdown.

The NWO yells at Flair. Pac, who has been there since Thursday (literally) is now their mouthpiece. Hall says you don’t blow us off so Flair makes his #3 pick, who is designed to look after the NWO: Kane. Ok then. In other words on Smackdown we have Rock, Angle and Benoit. On Raw we have Nash (injured), Hall (fat), Waltman (overrated), Taker (AWFUL at this point) and Kane (you know the drill here). Which show would you rather watch?

Trish Stratus vs. Ivory

Ivory is back and this is some kind of a small grudge. Yeah there’s nothing to talk about here. Trish wins in about two minutes with Stratusfaction. No rating either. Totally worthless.

Vince comes out again and gets the chant Rock invented earlier. He takes Hogan, who is incorrectly listed as a 7 time WCW Champion. Ah apparently they’re including the Bash at the Beach title here. Vince doing Hogan’s air guitar is rather funny.

After a break, Flair comes out to take RVD who brings the IC Title with him.

Vince is mad about losing the IC Title so Angle suggests a match between him and RVD for the title tonight so Angle can bring it Smackdown.

Rock is walking around backstage and Hogan comes up to him. The bald one suggests a handicap match vs. the NWO. Well what kind of a huge face would Rock be if he said no?

Vince is here to make his next pick (5th overall if you’re keeping track) and he picks Billy and Chuck who are the tag champions.

Tough Enough 2 commercial. I had my first kiss while that show was going on in the background.

Somehow the boot of the week is a chair shot. No one accused WWE of making sense all the time.

NWO vs. Hulk Hogan/The Rock

This is Nash’s first match in the company I think since his return. Ah scratch that as I’m wrong actually. It was one of his first though. Hogan and X-Pac start us off here which is a RIVETING match indeed. And Hogan throws him to the floor immediately in a nice power display. Hall comes in and fails also so we switch to Nash. Amazingly all Hogan seems to do is punch.

Hot tag to the Rock and we CRANK it up. We shift from an 80s style to a 90s style and it’s much more interesting. Cold tag to Hogan and the crowd just dies. Pac makes the save as it’s all breaking down. He breaks out the knunchucks and here comes Kane since he’s the guy taking care of the NWO and he clears house, giving the NWO the win.

Rating: D. Weak match but Rock was interesting. This wasn’t much at all and with five minutes how big of a match can it be? This is the last match on Raw for Hogan and Rock? This is the best they can do? That’s hardly a good sign. This was really rather weak all things considered.

Vince comes into Flair’s office to yell about various things. Flair takes Booker. Vince takes Edge. Flair takes Big Show. Vince takes Rikishi. They’re going that fast. So in other words: Nash, Hall, Waltman, Taker, Kane and Big Show vs. Benoit, Rock, Angle and Edge. Who do you think wins in the long run here? Keep in mind that the NWO guys would all be gone in the second week of July, this is looking one sided to say the least. Come to think of it, a year after this Rock and Edge were gone too. Help is on the way however, as between now and August WWE would debut guys named Lesnar, Orton, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Like I said, this was a transitional period for the company. Oh and Shawn came back in the fall too.

Jeff Hardy vs. Billy Gunn

This is during the gay era for Billy and Chuck, culminating in a mind blowing ending when they were about to be married but the minister was Eric Bischoff with a prosthetic face on, pretending to be a senior citizen aged preacher. It legitimately got me. Another two minute match but Jeff getting a singles run was a new idea back then. Matt and Chuck fighting on the floor cause Jeff to miss the Swanton. Lita TOTALLY botches a rana on Rico but Jeff gets the pin on Billy anyway.

Rating: N/A. I’m really getting tired of these short matches. That botch was a sight though. Her legs didn’t even get close to around his head. Moving on.

Flair picks Bubba Ray Dudley so Vince takes D-Von. They actually were going to try to make Bubba a serious challenger, even giving him a world title shot on Raw and giving it time. D-Von became a preacher with a deacon named Batista. I think the latter was a bit more famous.

European Title: Rikishi vs. William Regal

As Regal is coming to the ring, some HUGE muscle guy comes in and beats the living tar out of Rikishi, hitting a spinebuster and a SICK fireman’s carry spinout facebuster. You may know the move as the F5 and the guy as the current UFC World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar. I told you this was a transitional period. No match obviously.

Jazz is a witch in New York.

Vince tries to get Brock but it’s not his pick so Flair takes him. Great to see that D-Von pick working for Vince. Vince takes Mark Henry. I actually laugh when I think of the comparison between those two. Flair takes the European William Regal so Vince takes Maven, the Hardcore Champion. Flair takes Lita. Those are the last two picks. Let’s stop for a minute here and go pick for pick and look at these selections with Vince’s coming first.

#1: Rock vs. Undertaker. That’s a tossup I guess as Rock was bigger at the time but Taker is better long term.
#2: Kurt Angle vs. NWO. Do I even need to make fun of this one?
#3: Chris Benoit vs. Kane. Vince wins this based on in ring work alone.
#4: Hulk Hogan vs. Rob Van Dam. Have to go Vince here again as RVD was never really that important in WWE. Close one though given the money Hogan probably commanded.
#5: Billy and Chuck vs. Booker T. Comedy team vs. future world champion. Hmm I wonder.
#6: Edge vs. Big Show. Vince gets another one.
#7: Rikishi vs. Bubba Ray Dudley. Everyone loses.
#8: D-Von Dudley vs. Brock Lesnar. Actually you could make a case for Vince winning here as like I said Batista debuted shortly after this as D-Von’s enforcer. On paper though it’s really Flair in a landslide as Brock was a once in a lifetime find.
#9: Mark Henry vs. William Regal. Flair wins again.
#10: Maven vs. Lita. Eyebrows Huffman vs. a great rack. Flair finishes strong.

Vince has the better core and I think wins pretty easily here, especially since Brock was on Smackdown within 8 months. Also Raw wound up being boring as HECK soon after this.

Vince makes fun of Flair picking Lita because it’s going to be awful and a cesspool.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

Angle grabs a German immediately. Dang Angle was good back then. RVD makes a short comeback to some very solid cheers. He sets for the Five Star but Angle hits the floor. And then Angle pulls the referee in front of the dropkick for the DQ. Edge comes down for the save.

Rating: N/A. Dude we can’t have these two get TV time? Are you kidding me? Where is the time going in this show considering how fast they’re making picks?

Stephanie says she’s going to win the title.

Undisputed Title: Stephanie McMahon vs. HHH vs. Chris Jericho

This is a triple threat and if Stephanie is pinned she’s out of the company. Jericho sends HHH to the floor and Stephanie lays down for Jericho but HHH makes the save. HHH won the title 8 days before this mind you. Totally boring match as the two wrestlers have to be on pins and needles so Stephanie doesn’t get exposed as being NOT A WRESTLER.

Stephanie slaps Jericho for some reason and they argue. Jericho goes for the Walls as this match needs to end. We know HHH isn’t losing so quit teasing us about it. HHH knocks Jericho down and stalks Stephanie. Pedigree is set up but Jericho hits a dropkick to stop it. Jericho grabs a title and a chair and through some odd stuff both HHH and Jericho get belt shots. Stephanie comes in and covers Jericho for two. She does this weird thing of lifting her leg on covers.

HHH gets caught in the Walls but Stephanie jumps on Jericho’s back. Pedigree gets two on Jericho and Stephanie makes the save. Spinebuster ends her and she’s gone….for four months until she became Smackdown’s GM. Security literally drags her away.

Rating: D-. Just horrible stuff here as HHH and Jericho more or less did nothing while this was about Stephanie all over again. What a shock right? She was the focus of just about everything for a good while and this would only get worse in 03/04 when Smackdown was ALL about her and Vince and their stupid feud for power. This was a glorified house show main event though and was really quite stupid.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a bad show overall with the main event being the only thing to break 8 minutes. The picks are odd at best and stupid at worst with nothing really making that much sense at all. This was a bad show and the whole thing would just get worse as the year went on with Raw becoming the HHH show and no one really paying attention to how awesome Smackdown was. Oh and Shawn would come back and be instantly pushed to the top of the roster because he’s Shawn and a 4 year layoff is easy to come back from right? Bad show but huge for historical purposes.

 

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Unforgiven 2004
Date: September 12, 2004
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s 2004 and we’re in the single brand PPV era. This is a Raw show and the main event is HHH vs. Orton since Orton rose to the top of the show and won the title from Benoit at Summerslam. Since someone is getting some traction as a face, we better crush him quickly. Other than that we also have Jericho vs. Christian in a ladder match for the vacant IC Title and the winner of worst match of the year. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how Orton has turned back against Evolution and HHH in specific so tonight it’s payback time.

Batista/Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit/William Regal

Regal got a small push around this time as he feuded with Evolution because Evolution hurt Eugene. Benoit vs. Batista gets us going and the Crossface is attempted less than a minute in. Benoit uses his technical stuff and has Batista all confused. Off to Regal who tries to brawl and tosses Big Dave around with a suplex. Batista gets his hands on Benoit and brings in Flair. Let the wooing begin!

Benoit is like cool man and chops it out with Flair and the Canadian gets the better of it. Back to Regal and the beat down the old wrinkly man. Flair Flop and Regal drops a knee on his head. Benoit and Regal hammer away on Ric for a bit. He probably owes them money. Benoit goes for the knee again and takes an enziguri for Flair Flop #2. Off to Regal vs. Batista now and Regal is in a fighting move.

Batista takes down Regal and lets Flair get the glory shots in. Well that’s better than a Regal money shot I guess. Belly to back gets two. This crowd is silent. Batista comes back in and he’s really not that good at this kind of stuff yet. Back to Flair and it’s Figure Four time. Benoit comes in to break it up like any good partner would do. Batista beats on Regal a bit but Regal rams into him and it’s hot tag Benoit.

Flair comes in at the same time and Benoit is all fired up. The crowd doesn’t seem to care about anyone but Regal. That tends to be a problem in the Pacific Northwest. Is there an Atlantic Northwest that I’m not aware of? Benoit busts out Rolling Germans on Flair and the Swan Dive drills Flair. Crossface goes on Flair but Batista picks Benoit up like he’s a small Canadian wrestler and Batista is a big power lifter. Regal sends Batista into the post and then into the crowd. The Canadian counters the Figure Four into the Crossface and we’re done.

Rating: B-. Solid opening tag match here that got a lot of time to work with. Regal was fired up here and with him like this I could see him having a bit of a stronger push if they kept him serious. Not a classic or anything but they did enough here to make a good match without much to work with other than Evolution hurt a slow guy and it’s revenge time. Good opener though.

Trish and Christian argue over who gets to use Tomko tonight. Pay no attention to the fact that they have different matches tonight and Tomko isn’t in one of his own. Trish whispers in his ear and Tomko leaves with her. I think that was a breakup also. There’s some mystery chick that is trying to jump Trish which is why she wants Tomko there.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is champion and Victoria is in this weird stage where she’s dancing and such and it didn’t fit her at all. JR thinks Victoria is the stronger of the two. And this man is in the Hall of Fame. The fans think Trish is a sl** and Jerry disagrees. Jerry wanted to give Trish a pre-match physical since she had been injured. JR: “She had a broken hand. What were you going to have her do? DON’T ANSWER THAT.” Victoria keeps taking over but can’t keep the advantage.

Tomko saves Trish from a dive and Victoria is mad. She gets sent into the post and that changes things around quite a bit. Trish pounds away and chokes a bit for two. She channels her inner Dan Severn and uses the modified abdominal stretch that he used during his limited time in the company. Things slow WAY down as Trish hooks on a chinlock. Victoria makes her comeback and hits her side slam and and standing moonsault (with shake) for two each. A headbutt puts Trish down…and Victoria dives on Tomko. That’s enough for Stratusfaction to end this.

Rating: D. And most of that is because Victoria looks good in little flesh colored shorts. This was really boring and I don’t think anyone cared. For some reason this was to set up the post match stuff because the company thought someone wanted to see it. What is that you ask? It’s the worst match of the year. Here it is.

The mystery woman comes in to save Victoria from a beating and a DDT puts Tomko down. After a brief chat with JR and Jerry, Tomko says he wants to fight the mystery woman right now. Here she comes and even JR says it’s the worst kept secret in wrestling as to who that is.

Tyson Tomko vs. Mystery Woman

There go the clothes…and it’s Steven Richards. Yeah and everyone knew it so this is hardly a secret. And he’s wearing a bra, panties and plastic chest enhancements. Tomko destroys him and asks if Richards wants to be a girl. The fans know it’s garbage and it’s not even really a match. Tomko chokes Richards a lot and the fans aren’t paying attention at all. Tomko slams him and that’s the first non-stomp/choke move of the match. Here’s a neck vice and the fans just die. Richards no sells punches and Tomko calls him a sissy, making Steven grabs his balls. Tomko’s that is. Richards stops to look at the bra and a rack neckbreaker ends him.

Rating: J. As in just no. No way, not working, nothing of value. Next please. This is why we got tired of individual brand PPVs: stuff like this got six and a half minutes. Let that sink in for a minute.

Buy the Chris Benoit DVD which we’ll never mention again three years from this date!

We recap Christian vs. Jericho. In short, Edge was injured (shocking I know) and had to forfeit the title. Jericho got in his face so Christian made the save and a ladder match was announced for this show for the title.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

All outside parties are banned from ringside and it’s a ladder match remember. The fans chant CLB and Christian is in green tights for some reason. Basic stuff to start with these two being their normally awesome selves. Jericho grabs a ladder and throws it at Christian but only hits another ladder. Jericho takes over and hits a running enziguri. Out to the floor and Jericho misses another ladder shot.

And now let’s go into the crowd because there are a ton of ladders out there right? Back to ringside and Jericho chokes on him with a cord. Christian busts out an Unprettier (Killswitch) on the floor which today would probably be an injury angle for Jericho but here it just knocks him out. To give you an idea of what midcard finishers mean, Jericho keeps Christian from even climbing the ladder after taking his finisher on the floor. Imagine that today.

Christian is sent face first into the ladder and JR talks about barbecue sauce. I don’t get how he manages to tie those things together but whatever. Christian puts the ladder on the middle rope and slingshots Jericho into it face first. This is more about beating on each other instead of the title and climbing. Speaking of which, Jericho throws the ladder at Christian to put him down again.

Jericho channels his inner Shawn and rides the ladder down onto Christian, mainly hitting the back and the knees. Since selling isn’t allowed in this match, Jericho gets hung upside down, almost in a Tree of Woe position in the corner. Christian goes up but Jericho flips him off instead of climbing to slow him down. Jericho tries a Lionsault onto Christian onto the ladder but only gets ladder.

Jericho sends him into the ladder and the fans try to get into it. Christian goes up and hangs up there but still can’t pull it down. Instead he crashes, allowing Jericho to go up and be shoved off too. Christian goes up and gets caught in Jericho’s signature Walls on the Ladder spot. Christian falls off and Jericho still can’t get it as Jericho’s tail bone lands on the ladder. FREAKING OW MAN! Captain Charisma brings the big ladder in and Jericho tries on a regular one.

Since he’s an idiot in this match, Christian touches the belt and then stops to look at Jericho. Both guys go flying off after Jericho shoves the belt so Christian has issues getting to it. And then Jericho climbs up to get it in a very pedestrian ending. This would give Jericho the record for most Intercontinental Titles ever, a record he still holds to this day.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty boring ladder match actually. Ladder matches automatically get some bonus points because they’re ladder matches but this was far less about drama for the belt and more about trying to have big spots. Not a particularly good match and most of the time it just got boring. They were trying though and the spot near the end where Jericho fell on the ladder was impressive.

Todd tries to talk to Kane but runs into Lita instead. Lita talks about how she wants Shawn to kill Kane. Kane pops out of his locker room and grabs her by the hair. It’s now a No DQ match. Kane also forces a kiss out of her.

Jericho talks about how proud he is to be champion and the record holding champ. Edge pops up and says that’s my belt.

Mania 21 is in LA.

We recap Shawn vs. Kane. Kane is all crazy and evil and Lita is carrying his baby which was the result of a night with Kane to keep him from killing Matt. Guess how well Kane kept up the end of the bargain. This resulted in a forced wedding because that’s how wrestling works. Kane got an open contract to face anyone he wanted at Unforgiven and planned to get a world title shot but Lita stole the contract and signed Kane up to face the returning Shawn Michaels. Oh and Kane put Shawn out in the first place.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kane

Lita is here against her will. Shawn fires away at Kane and the Big Bald gets beaten to the floor. See, this is why Shawn is great: you can throw him into something like this and it works very well as can anyone question Shawn being in there? Shawn heads to the floor but jumps into an uppercut back inside. Kane misses an elbow due to Shawn moving even though it would have missed by a mile anyway. Out to the floor and Shawn dives over the top to take Kane down.

The lack of a story is hurting it here as it’s just a match with no backstory or anything like that and that’s the meat of any wrestling match. Shawn gets slammed through the table and he bumps like only Shawn can. That only gets two back in the ring because an upper midcard match has to go longer than 5 minutes. A legdrop also gets two. Off to a chinlock to waste some time. The move known as the Punjabi Plunge gets two.

Back to the neck vice which lasts a little longer this time. Shawn finally gets something going and drops Kane with a DDT. Both guys are down so Kane sits up and Shawn nips up almost at the same time. Out to the floor again and a step shot busts Shawn open. Shawn tries to speed things up and knocks a chair out of Kane’s hands but gets knocked down again.

Kane misses a big boot to the post and Shawn sends his head into the steel. Shawn fires away with his usual stuff back in the ring and drops the elbow for no cover. Michaels starts shaking like Terry Funk and it’s time to stomp the mat in an attempt to surprise my opponent. And never mind as Kane kicks his head off for two. Top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Shawn hits Kane in the Little Balds.

A big chair shot puts Kane down but Shawn can’t follow up. Since it’s a No DQ match we also have no countouts so the laying around is pretty pointless with no drama at all. Lita steals the chair from Kane and the distraction lets Shawn…miss Sweet Chin Music again but the third attempt hits and it’s good for the pin.

Rating: C. This got almost twenty minutes and while it was a good brawl, I’m not really sure what this proves. Shawn, a bigger star than Kane, beat Kane and that’s it. There’s no story or retribution or anything like that. It was an entertaining enough match but all it really does is advance Lita and Kane a bit more. It would take Gene Snitsky of all people to turn Kane face again.

Video on Shelton Benjamin. He isn’t on the show or anything but here’s a video about him.

HHH talks about how Orton was nothing until he met HHH and how Evolution was about the best, meaning him. Orton is good, but not as good. This takes about two minutes and it takes that much time to say HHH is awesome and Orton needs to be beaten.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Tajiri/Rhyno

Conway/Grenier here. Conway vs. Tajiri starts us off and Tajiri speeds around a lot to take over. Off to Grenier who hits the floor to avoid a Gore. Tajiri comes back in and takes over with a semi-botched tornado DDT. Conway beats on Tajiri and the fans just do not care. Off to a reverse chinlock as the fans chant USA for a Japanese comeback. Rhyno comes in and beats on both French dudes a bit.

This match needs to end like five minutes ago. It’s just boring but you could say that about every tag title match in this period. We hear about Rhyno looking everywhere for a partner as he walks into a double flapjack for two. The flag goes into Conway’s balls but a Gore only gets two. And there’s a flag to the face of Rhyno for the cheap pin.

Rating: F+. This had zero point in being on PPV. It wouldn’t even be a good Raw match, mainly because it went on way too long, getting almost ten minutes. La Resistance would be the heel team of the year for awhile as no one cared at all and it went nowhere at all. The tag division sucked BAD around this point and this is a fine example of it.

We recap Orton vs. HHH which I’m sure you get by this point. They were in Evolution together, Orton won the title, HHH got mad and threw him out, this is the match. Oh and Orton spat at HHH. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH has the white boots on this time. I miss this version of Orton. Here he’s young and chisled and has elbow pads and isn’t orange and covered in tattoos. They get something resembling big match intros as both guys are checked for weapons and they get the rules read to them. Feeling out process to start and they look at each other a lot. Orton spits at him again and I guess the bodybuilding phase is over.

Orton fires away and drops HHH on his back (a backdrop if you will) and hammers on him even more. Time for the chinlock and Orton looks ticked off while he’s holding onto it. And now that the hold is broken: more punching! They head to the floor and JR calls it no man’s land, and “HHH owns a lot of land in no man’s land.” If this show hadn’t bored me into a numbness already, I’d rip that apart.

HHH gets in a shot to the knee and JR follows that one up by saying he thinks Orton is quicker. Back in HHH goes for the knee as he channels his inner Naitch. The leg goes into the post and the Game works on the knee. By that I mean he spends a LONG time working on it. Off to a Figure Four and Trips puts the pressure on it. The hold goes on for a few mintues as the boring nature of this show continues. The crowd isn’t into it at all either.

The Game finally gets caught in the ropes and Hebner breaks it up. Orton counters another try at the hold and both guys are down. HHH is busted off….something. Orton goes back to the old faithful right hand and a Piper poke to the eye. They trade sleepers and HHH goes up for the dumbest move in wrestling (jumping into the boot). Randy goes up as well and hits a cross body for two.

Backbreaker gets two for the champion. The knee injury is coming and going. Orton loads up the RKO but gets shoved into the referee. Pedigree is countered into the RKO but there’s no ref. Here’s Flair who has the same looking hair as my ex stepmother but down he goes as well. Batista comes in and goes into the post.

A low blow puts Randy down and Coach comes out to referee. There’s a right hand for him but Orton walks into a Batista spinebuster to put him down for two. Pedigree is countered and there’s an RKO for Coach. Flair brings in a chair and takes an RKO too. A low blow gets rid of Batista but HHH pops Randy with a chair and a Pedigree onto said chair gives HHH the title back.

Rating: B-. Good match but the ending really hurts it. Everything went insane and the Evolution team standing tall was already old but here it is again. Batista would hit the hot streak of a lifetime soon after this though and would finally take the title off HHH for good. Oh and that Cena guy won a title too. The match was long though and the leg selling by Orton was so hit or miss that it got annoying.

Overall Rating: D-. There’s some good stuff on here but OH MY GOODNESS this show is boring. This show just keeps going on and on and there are moments where you want to pound your head into a wall to give you something interesting like a concussion. The matches aren’t bad but nothing is really great and there is so much awful on it that it gets pulled down and pulled down deep. Very boring show and nothing worth seeing at all.

Smackdown
Date: July 22, 2011
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Money in the Bank is over and the question is simple: can Christian make it through one whole show as world champion? He won the title from Orton in the first instance I can ever remember where the “if the champion gets disqualified he loses the title” stipulation actually worked. Also Daniel Bryan now has the MITB case so there’s always the chance of a cash in starting tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open the show with Orton sitting in a chair in the middle of the ring. His says his name is Randy Orton. I wonder if he loves to fight. Although there’s a lot going on in the WWE at the moment, this show isn’t going anywhere until his issue with Christian is settled. We get a clip of Orton destroying Christian post match and here’s the new champion.

Christian wants to know what unfinished business Orton is talking about. Orton says as long as Christian is breathing there’s unfinished business. Christian thinks the unfinished business is with the voices Orton has in his head. Orton says Christian has been hiding behind a team of lawyers but Christian says Orton simply broke the rules. Christian says that he’s been fighting incompetence for a long time now and also the unseen forces that keeps Randy on top. He’s beaten them all though and is now a two time world champion.

There won’t be a celebration tonight because nothing has changed over the last few months. He’s not going to talk to these people because they still treat him badly. Orton says these people are going to see him beat Christian tonight because he wants his rematch. Christian says no because rematches don’t grow on trees. Is he new here or something?

The champ says he’s going to leave and talk to his lawyers about the situation. Orton comes after him but here’s Teddy of course to break that up. Teddy says Orton will get his rematch but not tonight because he has Kane in a street fight. Orton needs to be the bigger man and that just doesn’t happen. He takes Christian down and hammers away for a bit until the referees pull him off. Christian gets in Teddy’s face but Teddy says get to the ring because Christian has a match with Big Zeke right now.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

Non-title here. Jackson comes out after a quick break. Christian immediately heads to the floor to hide for a bit. They get into the ring and no mention has been made yet of their ECW days. Total power game from Jackson to start us off and a long gorilla press slam puts the Canadian down. Jackson slams him again and sends him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jackson slamming Christian into the announce table on the floor.

Christian ducks low and Jackson eats steps and the momentum shifts. That gets two back in the ring. Christian uses some basic stuff but Jackson gets a shot to the ribs and takes over one more time. Actually scratch that as Christian nails him in the ribs and stops the momentum. Booker says Christian can pull this off. He’s the world champion. Shouldn’t it be Jackson that can pull this off?

Off to a chinlock and it’s Jackson in trouble again. Jackson escapes with a Samoan Drop and starts firing off clotheslines. Christian avoids one but can’t hit the Killswitch. Here come the slams but Christian escapes and goes to the knee. Killswitch doesn’t work again and Jackson gets him on his shoulder. Jackson charges shoulder first into the post though and the Killswitch ends this at 6:39 shown of 10:09.

Rating: C. Match was fine but I really don’t get the need to have Jackson lose again. Isn’t there some non champion midcarder that could have done this? It’s not like Jackson should have beaten him but I don’t get the point in having him lose like that. Christian needed the clean win over someone though so that was fine for the most part.

Here’s Cole to bring out Daniel Bryan. Cole says it was a fluke win at MITB and Bryan says he doesn’t care what Cole says. Cole makes fun of Bryan for being all valiant but he knows Bryan is going to cash in like everyone else has: when the champion is down and out. Bryan doesn’t deserve to have that case. Bryan says Cole didn’t deserve to be in a featured match at Mania. No one deserves anything in this company and he’s earned his spot over the last 12 years.

He lists off some of his injuries such as a detached retina and not being able to hear out of his left ear due to being kicked in the head so much. However he won’t quit because he’s dreamed of being WWE Champion since he was a kid. The person who holds the case can cash it in whenever and wherever they want. Bryan however is going to cash it in at Wrestlemania. I’ll believe that when I see it. Heath Slater of all people comes out and calls Bryan a loser.

Heath Slater vs. Daniel Bryan

Slater starts off in trouble and has to escape the LeBell Lock by going to the floor. We take a break and come back with Bryan tossing him around with an armdrag. Bryan is now in the top of Booker’s Fave Five now. Slater throws on a headlock and takes over. Hard whip into the corner puts Bryan down. Bryan starts fighting back and the crowd is cheering so hard that they’re not even moving.

Booker says Slater has the same amount of charisma as a bowl full of turnips. Slater puts him down again as Cole keeps saying it was a fluke. Back to the chinlock as Booker and Cole get into their bickering again. Josh as usual gets us back to the match because he’s the responsible one. Bryan makes a comeback with a flying forearm and both guys are down. Daniel lowers his head and gets kicked in the face for his troubles.

Slater charges at him and goes crashing to the floor. Bryan hits a running kick from the apron and back inside we go. Missile dropkick gets two. Slater grabs a spinebuster for two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets some two counts for both guys. Bryan sets for what looks like a tornado DDT but goes into a guillotine choke instead for the tap at 7:25 shown of 10:55.

Rating: C+. Good match here as Bryan got to showcase himself pretty well. This is what he needs: matches where he can show off his skills and get the win at the end because since he lost the US Title he hasn’t done much. He’s gotten a little resurgence leading up to the MITB win so it’s not totally out of nowhere but he needs some resume building wins.

We recap Big Show vs. Henry at the PPV where Henry hurt Show’s leg post match.

Henry says the destruction will never end because the attack on Show gave him a pleasure. If it sounds like he’s talking about himself, it’s because he is. His words there, not mine.

We get the Vince/Cena/HHH video from Raw which eats up about ten minutes. Josh wouldn’t say Punk’s name leading into the segment.

Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett

Fallout from the MITB build here. The announcers touch on Cara being out due to the “injuries” he suffered in the ladder match. Sheamus hammers him down to start but Barrett gets his foot up in the corner to take over. Cole says Sheamus has a degree in computer technology and Barrett has one in marine biology. Never would have guessed those. Wade chokes Sheamus out on the top rope and then kicks pale boy to the floor.

That gets two back in the ring. Barrett has been dropped from the Fave Five. We get a Harvey Whippleman reference for no apparent reason. Sheamus grabs the Irish Curse for two. He pounds away even more like the brawler he is and they head to the floor. It turns into a slugout and neither guy can really get an advantage. They fight to the announce table and it’s a double countout at 4:29.

Rating: C+. I like big man brawls like these where they don’t really care about the pin and it’s about the fight. Neither guy could really lose here so the ending was the right idea. I’d like to see more of this but then again I like both guys. Either way, fun brawl that probably will lead to something more from them later.

They keep fighting post match and Barrett tries Wasteland, only to take the Brogue Kick to leave Sheamus standing tall.

Kane says he’s going to unleash his pain and misery tonight. Lately he’s been haunted and tonight he’s going to try to escape that. He’s been feeling too human lately and doesn’t like it at all. He uses the Devil’s Favorite Demon line for the first time in many months.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

This is a street fight. They have a ton of time left to do this also. Kane fires away to start and beats Orton down in the corner. Orton gets a boot up though and there’s the Thesz Press. Kane grabs him by the throat but Orton counters into a failed RKO attempt. Out to the floor we go They fight up the ramp and neither guy can get much of an extended advantage.

Orton rams Kane into the railing and finds a kendo stick. He’s getting all googly eyed and slides back in so he can bust out the elevated DDT. That fails completely and Orton is sent back over the top and out to the floor. Orton goes into the railing as we take a break. Back with Kane still in control and getting a two count. Orton low bridges Kane to send him to the floor but jumps into an uppercut.

Kane sets up the announce table but Orton escapes the chokeslam attempt. Orton climbs up onto the table to escape but it falls forward and Randy is holding his knee. He’s up again but he’s limping. Kane’s knees go into the steps in a wicked shot and Randy hammers away. Orton puts Kane’s leg on the step and stomps it into the steel and then slams the steps down onto it. We take another break and come back with Orton hammering away at the leg/ankle.

Kane fires off a big boot to take Orton down. He goes up but Orton avoids him and sends Kane’s shoulder into the post. Elevated DDT hits and it’s RKO time. That doesn’t work and Kane hits the side slam for two. Now the big clothesline hits and Kane calls for the chokeslam. Orton is like screw that and grabs an RKO out of nowhere for a VERY close two. Kane can’t get up so Orton sets up the Punt. The Big Bald pops up and hits a chokeslam for two.

We take an almost unprecedented third break as this match is going to get 20 minutes minimum. Back with Kane picking up a chair. He drills Orton four times with it and loads up a tombstone onto it. Randy escapes that and also escapes a chokeslam onto it. The RKO onto the chair ends this at 14:08 shown of 25:38 (remember that I assume 3:30 per break so the match could have been much shorter or even a bit longer).

Rating: B-. This was good but not great. For a TV match it took up a very long time which probably wasn’t a great idea. They never really hit a high gear but the match itself was fine. I do kind of question giving this so long and giving Barrett vs. Sheamus four minutes as you could have balanced this out a lot better. Still though, good stuff for a long match.

Post match Kane takes his glove off and shakes hands with Randy. I don’t ever remember seeing his right hand. Kane gets up after Orton leaves and the fans applaud him. Geez another turn for the Big Bald? Mark Henry comes out before Kane can leave though and he doesn’t look nice. Remember Kane has a very bad knee here and can barely stand. Kane fires off on him but Henry takes the knee out. Henry gets him down as I guess Kane’s new buddy Orton doesn’t need to help Kane. Kane gets the same treatment Show got at the PPV.

Overall Rating: B. This was an odd show at times as not a lot happened. You had some long matches and a lot of wrestling, but at the same time a lot of people weren’t here at all and weren’t mentioned. The main event is long and probably too long for what it was. The ending is kind of weird as Henry claims another victim, but it keeps Henry’s push going. Either way, good show but not a classic or anything.

Results

Christian b. Ezekiel Jackson – Killswitch

Daniel Bryan b. Heath Slater – Guillotine choke

Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout

Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO onto a chair

 

Smackdown
Date: July 8, 2011
Location: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

 

 

This was taped last week but for Smackdown that’s not going to change anything from the norm. Tonight we get some fallout from last week with Sheamus interjecting himself into the main event scene to end the show. Other than that we’ll probably be building up to Money in the Bank with some more stuff between the ladder match guys. Let’s get to it.

 

 

We open with a recap of the ending of last week’s show where Orton signed the contract but before Christian did, Sheamus returned and beat both guys up and ripped up the contract.

 

 

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a really bad sunburn.

 

 

Most of the MITB guys are in the ring but I only see seven right now. Sheamus is missing I believe. Everyone gets to say something. Bryan says he’s excited and nervous because he’s wanted to be world champion since he was a little kid. Cody cuts him off and says it’s because Bryan is a common man incapable of the things exceptional people do. Cody is one of those exceptional people. Once he wins the title everyone will have to swallow their pride and look him in the eye.

 

 

Barrett says he’s tired of hearing about what everyone else has done. He starts listing off his accomplishments but here’s Sheamus with a chair. He cracks almost everyone with it and clears the ring. Sheamus says he’ll win and cash in on Orton when he beats Christian. He’s going to get Orton tonight though, because of getting punted last month. Here’s Christian who asks if Sheamus thinks he can’t beat Orton. Sheamus calls him a scrawny, malnourished, googly eyed homely weasel.

 

 

Christian points out that he beat Sheamus a few weeks ago before Orton punted Sheamus. He’ll also be world champion after MITB. There’s a clause in the contract, saying that if Orton gets disqualified or if there’s bad officiating, Christian is automatically world champion. Christian calls him Ronald McDonald and asks if he can even read a contract. Sheamus throws the chair at him and here’s Teddy. Orton vs. Sheamus is the main event. Really solid opening segment here as Sheamus looked fired up and intimidating. I’m liking this three way feud a lot and they’re running it perfectly.

 

 

Clip of the first MITB match with Edge winning and cashing in about 9 months later.

 

 

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Daniel Bryan/Ezekiel Jackson

 

 

Booker gets a bag again. DiBiase and Bryan start us off with DiBiase not being able to do much. Off to Jackson who is part of the Fave Five of Booker. We actually get the full list: McIntyre, Jackson, Sheamus, Barrett, Cara and a dark horse in Ryder. The good guys clear the ring and send Cody to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan firing off kicks to Cody in the corner.

 

 

Cody avoids a charge in the corner and backdrops Bryan onto the corner and catches him in an Alabama Slam for two. It’s off to DiBiase who keeps the advantage and hits a chinlock. Back off to Cody who uses his old school style to dominate even more. DiBiase chokes some more. Cole picks Wade Barrett to win MITB. Bryan gets a boot up in the corner and Josh picks Sin Cara, the same as Booker. Hot tag to Big Zeke who gets a nice reaction. He starts slamming people and Racks DiBiase but it’s broken up by a Beautiful Disaster and Dream Street gets the pin at 6:45 shown of 10:15.

 

 

Rating: C+. Pretty basic tag match here but for the love of all things good and holy Vince, why do you think midcard champions always have to lose? He won the title and then beat Barrett a second time and now he’s lost to Rhodes (not that bad) and then to DiBiase. Why in the world would that be something they’d think is smart? I don’t get why midcard champions are booked into the ground so often anymore but it’s getting annoying.

 

 

Video on Mark Henry and his domination as of late.

 

 

Striker tells Henry he’s facing potential fines, suspensions and criminal charges after what he did last week. Henry breathes a lot.

 

 

Jinder Mahal vs. Trent Barreta

 

 

During Mahal’s entrance we hear about some empire he’s built up and we don’t hear anything about his wife/Khali’s sister. Are they already changing the story? Anyway Khali sits in on commentary (you read that right) and actually speaks some English now. Total squash in the ring and the full nelson slam ends it at 1:04. The camera was on Khali more than the match. Post match Cole mentions the story we got last week.

 

 

Sheamus says his recent rampage is an Irish thing.

 

 

AJ vs. Tamina

 

 

Cole: “Hopefully this doesn’t put me to sleep like a Harlem Heat match.” Josh: “Tell me you didn’t just say that.” AJ has different hair now as it’s a bit lighter and a bit wavier. Natalya and Alicia are at ringside. Cole bashes Natalya for most of the match as Tamina dominates with an Umaga hip smash to the face. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. AJ fights back and hits a Shining Wizard for two. Tamina misses a splash in the corner and AJ gets a rollup for the pin at 2:28.

 

 

Alicia yells at Tamina post match.

 

 

Mark Henry vs. Kane

 

 

Kane looks terrified but hammers away to start. Henry runs him over but Kane gets three dropkicks, two to the knees and a seated one to the chest, for two. Top rope clothesline is caught in a belly to belly for two. Henry stands on the chest for a bit and Kane is in trouble. The big fried freak fires off a right hand and the crowd is surprisingly into this. Big boot puts Henry down for two.

 

 

Kane goes up again and this time the clothesline hits. He loads up the chokeslam but Henry breaks out of it and headbutts Kane. A second attempt at the chokeslam hits but Henry gets his foot on the ropes. Out to the floor and Kane tries a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up, ramming Kane into the post. Back inside a splash gets two. Mark is all ticked off now and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 5:52.

 

 

Rating: C. For a battle of the big men this was fine. They kept it relatively short which is the right idea for sure. If they want Henry to be taken as a big threat, this is the kind of win he needs. Kane is still someone with credibility and Henry beating him clean by just overpowering him is a good thing for him. I still don’t get the appeal or point of pushing Henry but it’s his every other year push so it’s to be expected.

 

 

Henry yells at the announcers post match.

 

 

Orton says he doesn’t care what the contract says because he’s going to win with the RKO. As for Sheamus, he’ll have to defend the title against him eventually but as for tonight, good luck to him.

 

 

Video of Miz winning MITB last year.

 

 

Tyson Kidd vs. Sin Cara

 

 

There go the lights again. Kidd grabs an armbar to take him down almost immediately. Cara speeds things up and hits an armdrag to send Kidd to the floor. Cara tries a dive or something similar to one, only to get his head slammed into the apron. Back inside Cara hits a slingshot corkscrew splash for two. Off to a chinlock by Kidd as the fans chant for Cara. Kidd keeps countering Cara’s moves and it’s working pretty well. He tries a springboard elbow but Cara gets the knees up to block it.

 

 

Cole says his name would be Billy the Kid if he was a superstar. Booker and Josh are quiet for a bit and then laugh at him. Cara starts his comeback and gets a victory roll into a sunset flip for two. Kidd kicks him down and goes up, only to get dropped onto the buckle. They go up again and the C4 off the top ends this at 4:16.

 

 

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here as I didn’t notice any botches which is a change for Cara. Granted they may have been edited out but that’s the perk of a taped show. Anyway not bad here and Cara is starting to get better slowly but surely as he’s having more coherent matches rather than just doing random spots. Good stuff.

 

 

Teddy is asked if he’s intimidated by Henry and won’t answeron.

 

 

Video on Ezekiel Jackson.

 

 

Usos vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

 

 

The matches are good but we’ve seen this how many times now? The Usos do their dance thing on the way to the ring. Jey has a tattoo on his chest apparently so he starts us off with Gabriel. Slater comes in rather quickly and takes Jey down as the crowd is more or less silent. Booker talks about the Fave Five again and it’s already annoying. Gabriel comes in and gets two before hitting a headlock. After some silence on commentary, Booker randomly says that no one likes Cole.

 

 

Double big boot puts both guys down as Jimmy tries to get the crowd back to life. It’s not really working but points for trying at least. Off to Jimmy vs. Slater with Jimmy being labeled as the powerhouse. Bubba Bomb puts Slater down as Booker says they both need gain another hundred pounds or so. Samoan Drop gets two on Slater. Slater manages to take him down with something like a Zig Zag and it’s off to Gabriel. He wants the 450 but Slater gets kicked into the ropes to crotch Justin. We get Power and Glory’s old finisher (superplex/top rope splash combo) to end Gabriel at 3:32.

 

 

Rating: C+. Another fine match but again, we’ve seen this how many times now? The teased tension between the former Nexus/Corre is what you would expect as they’ve been a successful team long enough so it’s time to split them in a feud that not many people want to see. Anyway this was fine and it’s cool to see the Usos have an actual finisher.

 

 

Johnny Curtis is at a table with a bunch of birthday stuff on it. He takes the cake. Debut him already and get it over with.

 

 

We get an abbreviated version of Cena and Vince from Raw.

 

 

We run down the MITB card. Henry vs. Show is official.

 

 

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

 

 

Christian vs. Orton has been signed apparently and the Canadian is on commentary here. Orton fires away in the corner and Sheamus is in trouble. Pretty basic back and forth stuff here as Orton counters some Sheamus offense with a dropkick. He loads up the punt but Sheamus hits the floor. Back in Orton hits his way too enthusiastic Thesz Press and they slug it out to the floor.

 

 

Orton gets reversed into the railing and part of the wall falls down. Elevated DDT is blocked and Orton goes shoulder first into the post and back out to the floor. Christian goes after Orton but Sheamus stops him. Orton goes into the post again as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a DDT to the arm for two. Orton makes a brief comeback but takes a knee to the ribs to put him right back down.

 

 

Randy makes his comeback and uses his regular stuff including the scoop powerslam. He adds something new to the arsenal with a belly to belly suplex for two. Sheamus gets a kick to the knee and pulls himself up to the top for a shoulder block for two. Irish Curse gets two. Brogue Kick and RKO are countered and Orton hits the backbreaker. Not that it matters as Christian comes in for the DQ at 8:24 shown of 11:54, giving Orton the win.

 

 

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything but compared to the stuff these two were putting on in 2010, their recent stuff has been a miracle. I was thinking Sheamus would win MITB and then cash in at the end of the night but now I’m not so sure. Either way, not a bad match here and fine for a TV main event.

 

 

Post match Sheamus lays out Christian but walks into an RKO to leave Orton standing tall to close the show.

 

 

Overall Rating: B. While a step down from last week this was still good stuff. The key thing to Smackdown is they don’t waste time. Everything they do is either advancing a story, in ring action or promoting one of their wrestlers. This show was no exception as everything on here had a point, which is rare in today’s wrestling product. Anyway good show but not as good as last week.

 

 

Smackdown
Date: July 1, 2011
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We have the main event set for MITB as it’s Christian vs. Orton 39 or whatever we’re up to with them now.  Also tonight we’ll probably find out who the Money in the Bank guys are, which should be interesting given who we have in the midcard on Smackdown.  The field for both shows is pretty wide open this year.  Hopefully Smackdown can get back to where it usually is.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Mark Henry and how dominant he’s been lately.  Apparently he gets Orton tonight.

Teddy is in his office and Christian comes in with a contract.  He wants a contract signing with Orton tonight.  Teddy points out that he didn’t win the tag match last week, Henry did.  That clears up some stuff so we’re off to a good start.  If Henry wins, he might make it triple threat.  Christian is barred from ringside.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

 

Not bad for an opener.  Henry immediately rams him into the corner but Orton fires off some right hands.  That doesn’t last long as Henry throws him into the corners a few times and then hits a belly to belly suplex for two.  Big boot puts Orton down again and Henry chokes a bit.  Time for some smack talk as Henry says he’s the champ and not Orton.  World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Orton gets a DDT for two.

We head to the floor and the referee actually lectures them for a bit, saying get back in the ring before he has to start counting them.  I’ve never heard that before.  Not that it matters though as here’s Big Show’s music.  No Big Show though as Henry stares at the runway.  When he realizes that there’s no big bald dude coming, he turns into an RKO at 8 and Orton wins by countout at 4:24.

Rating: C-. Not much here but it wasn’t meant to be a classic or anything like that.  Henry not being in the main event makes sense as they’ve been building to Show vs. Henry for awhile now.  This gets Henry out of the equation though so it accomplished that at least.  Nothing great but the pop for Orton was solid.

Post match Henry goes up to the technical area and yells at the music guy.  He destroys a lot of equipment while the sound guy is sitting there in terror.  I run the sound board at my church so I feel for this guy.  The guy starts to leave but Henry changes his mind and throws him off the side of the stand they’re on in a nice visual.  The guy just disappeared.  Henry finally leaves.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

 

Neither guy has music due to the attack.  It’s a weird visual to see Bryan coming out to dead silence.  The lack of music of course.  The very mild reaction is typical.  DiBiase coming out to no music is a nice unintentional throwback to his pop’s days.  That’s about the only similarity between them though.  Ted says he’s enjoyed humiliating Bryan and it’s due to Cody in an inset interview.

Basic stuff to start with Bryan getting an armdrag into an armbar.  Off to a full on surfboard which still astounds me every time.  Bryan heads up but misses a jump of some sort, allowing Ted to dropkick him to the floor as we take a break.  Before we go back to the match, let’s have a quick video about Daniel Bryan.  Not bad for mid match advertising.

Back with Ted holding a chinlock.  DiBiase hits his following clothesline for two and it’s right back to the chinlock.  Bryan gets his backflip out of the corner and a clothesline puts DiBiase down.  He’s getting frustrated here.  Here come the kicks but Ted grabs one into a rollup.  Bryan counters that into an attempt at the LeBell Lock but Ted gets a rope before it’s on.

A backdrop puts Ted over the top and Ted tries to jump off the apron, only to be rammed into the post and then the railing.  He’s holding his shoulder after the second ram which gets two for Ted.  DiBiase gets some facewashes in the corner and a big slap.  They go up the corner but Ted is knocked off and Bryan hits a dropkick to put both guys down.  His arm and shoulder are still bothering him.  Bryan unloads with strikes and a big kick gets two.  Dream Street is countered so Ted tries another following clothesline.  Bryan is ready for it though and throws on a guillotine choke which is good for the submission at 9:03 shown of 12:33.

Rating: B. I liked this here as they had the time to build up a solid match with some psychology at the end of it also.  As usual, Bryan has a solid TV match.  I was very skeptical about him when he first came to WWE but he’s proven me wrong and has gone on to have some very solid matches.  Good TV match and it worked well, which is stunning for DiBiase.

The music is working again.

Christian comes in to see Teddy, saying since Henry lost he should get the title shot.  Teddy says the word on the street is that Christian was seen leaving the production truck after Big Show’s music played.  Apparently that doesn’t matter as there will be a contract signing in about an hour.  To kill the time though, Christian will be facing Sin Cara.  Bit of a step up from what Cara’s been doing to say the least.

Ted is upset and Cody says Ted hasn’t won a match since May 20.  He can’t guide Ted until Ted changes his ways.  If Ted can’t do that, he might as well wear a paper bag.

We recap Khali and Mahal and the heel turn of Khali.  We get highlights of Mahal and Khali dominating people while Singh talks about what’s going on.  Apparently Jinder wishes he was Great Khali but never will be.  He’s Singh’s brother in law apparently which makes him Khali’s brother in law also.  Mahal is married to their sister.  His power over Khali and what he’s saying when he shouts is that he’ll humiliate their family by divorcing his sister.  Dang it’s nice to have everything explained all at once for a change.

Video on Sin Cara that we’ve seen before.  Actually this is an extended one because he talks in it.  Wait that’s Mysterio.  What am I watching?  It started as a video on Cara and became one about Rey.  Why are they promoting Rey on Smackdown now?

Sin Cara vs. Christian

 

The MITB case is hanging over the ring and we’re told the SD MITB participants:

Kane, Sin Cara, Daniel Bryan, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Sheamus

Some interesting choices in there.  I guess Sheamus is the frontrunner but I’m not very sure.  Rhodes as a dark horse I guess.  Cara under jumps a springboard armdrag and Christian hits the floor.  Cara keeps teasing dives but Christian runs more as we take a break.  He complains about the lights before we cut away.  Back with Christian hammering away and trying to start a Sin Cara chant for some reason.

Christian hits the floor and Cara hits a corkscrew plancha to take over.  Back in Cara gets two.  There’s the way too complicated arm drag out of the corner for two.  Christian manages to backdrop him to the floor to take over.  The Cara chant starts up as he’s in a chinlock.  The Canadian gets a few near falls and chokes him on the middle rope.

Top rope headbutt misses and Cara gets two.  Springboard back elbow gets two.  Cara tries what looked like his finishing move but rotates more into a DDT instead for two.  Victory roll and a pretty ugly one gets two.  Christian goes up but Cara gets a boot to try to set up the top rope C4.  Christian shoves him off and hits the floor to rest a bit.  Cara is like cool dude and gets a rana off the apron to put Christian down again.

Back in a kick staggers Christian again and a springboard crossbody gets two.  Christian counters into a reverse DDT for a long two.  Cara grabs a small package for two.  Tajiri elbow is countered into a failed Killswitch attempt.  Cara charges but gets dropped onto the turnbuckle, followed by a spear to give him his first loss at 9:31 shown of 13:01.

Rating: B-. Good but not quite as good as the previous one.  It’s scary to think how bad this could have been without Smackdown editing for it.  The high spots are cool but at the same time they can cause problems with botching, which is something that it’s hard to overcome.  Kind of surprised Cara’s first loss is here, but at least he was able to hang in there with some higher level talent so that’s a good sign.  Pretty fun match, botches aside.

We get a clip of Jackson winning the IC Title.  He gets Cody tonight.  I was kind of hoping for a feud between those two so I’m happy here.

Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson

 

Jackson goes right at him and tosses Cody around like a tiny man.  Cody escapes a gorilla press and heads to the floor.  Some distracting by Ted allows Cody to take over for the first time.  Back inside Cody works on the arm and turns it into a hold I don’t think I’ve ever seen.  He’s sitting back like a camel clutch but has Jackson’s arm wrapped around his leg like a LeBell Lock.

Jackson gets up and throws Cody with a release gordbuster.  Big Zeke sells the arm and hits a corner clothesline and it’s slam time.  DiBiase comes up on the apron and gets drilled, only for Cody to hit the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes for the upset pin at 4:06.  I’m rather surprised by that.

Rating: C+. I know Jackson is almost universally hated on the internet, but answer this: what exactly are you expecting him to do/be out there?  The guys is a pure power wrestler and he uses basic power moves.  Why in the world would you expect him to do anything other than that?  I really don’t get the criticism I read about him as he’s doing exactly what someone that looks like him is supposed to do.  Anyway this wasn’t that bad at all with Jackson dominating and Ted trying to redeem himself in Cody’s eyes.  Nice little match.

We get a video on Jackson in the form of a little highlight package.  This is a new running thing on Smackdown and I really like them.  They’re like 30 seconds long and gives you a nice quick idea of what you can see if you keep watching the show.  Well, at least in cases where the guy hasn’t had his match already.

Johnny Curtis draws a picture of himself in a corner.  He has to run out of lines eventually.

Raw ReBound is the same as from NXT, showing a shortened version of Punk’s promo.  Cole tells us that Punk has been indefinitely suspended.  Booker saw it on Youtube and says he was blown away.  Good to know that Booker doesn’t watch Raw.  Vince is rumored to be on Raw apparently.

Kane vs. Wade Barrett

 

Barrett actually throws some bareknuckle punches which I don’t remember him doing any other time.  He controls early until Kane gets a boot up to break the momentum.  The low dropkick is set up but Wade hits the floor to avoid it.  Kane chases him in and runs into a big boot to knock him back to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Barrett holding a chinlock that is quickly broken.

Kane charges into an elbow and takes another big boot.  Barrett really likes that move.  He chokes Kane on the middle rope as Booker criticizes him for wasting time.  All the choking gets him a one count so let’s hit that chinlock.  Big uppercut takes him down after the hold is broken.  Barrett keeps expanding his moveset by hitting a DDT for two.  Middle rope elbow misses as the announcers are talking about ducks.  I think I’m glad I missed what got us there.

To the shock of everyone Kane busts out a pretty good cross body for two.  It’s followed by a big boot of his own for two.  Clothesline in the corner and a side slam get two.  Top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam.  That gets reversed so Kane tries what looks like either a tombstone or a powerslam but Barrett gets out of that also.  Boss Man Slam gets a close two as this is getting good.  Doesn’t last long though as Barrett misses a big boot and Kane is able to hit the chokeslam for the pin at 8:37 shown of 12:07.

Rating: B. I like both of these guys and they put on a good match here.  This is one of those matches where both guys look good which is a good sign.  Barrett certainly doesn’t look weaker for losing and it’s not like Kane winning is a shocking upset.  Barrett keeps using his varying offense and it makes for entertaining matches.  The rating might be a bit high but I liked this quite a bit.

We see Henry attacking the guy earlier.  He’s been taking to the hospital and his vital signs are good.

Time for the contract signing.  Christian comes out with a lawyer with him.  He says there’s a clause in the contract saying that if there’s a bad decision or unfair call he gets an automatic rematch.  He swears he can beat Orton and cuts the champ off when he tries to talk.  The WWE and the fans can’t save their golden boy anymore because Orton can’t beat him.

Orton talks about how they had great matches and Orton kept winning.  Now we’ve gotten to all this and it’s making him angry.  As you know, he’s had problems in the past controlling his anger.  Lawyers won’t help him though because the only way he can get the title is to beat Orton, and that won’t happen.  Orton signs it up and hands it to Christian.  The lawyer reads it first and whispers something to Christian.

He goes to sign but the pen doesn’t work.  Teddy goes into his pocket for another pen but here’s Sheamus, returning from being punted and massacring both guys.  RKO is blocked and it’s a Brogue Kick for both guys.  Sheamus picks up the contract that doesn’t have Christian’s signature yet and rips it up.  He leaves both guys laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Well that was a pretty awesome TV show.  You had some good matches, the main event scene has a new element added to it which was needed as Christian vs. Orton can only happen so many times.  Almost every match got some time and the whole thing was very good.  No bad matches, everything made sense, stories were advanced and the whole thing was very efficient.  Nice to see Smackdown bounce back after a few weaker shows.

Results

Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via countout

Daniel Bryan b. Ted DiBiase – Guillotine choke

Christian b. Sin Cara – Spear

Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes

Kane b. Wade Barrett – Chokeslam