Monday Night Raw
Date: July 20, 1998
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Fully Loaded and that means we’re six weeks from Summerslam. That’s really all that matters at the end of the day, because this PPV certainly didn’t. There are two more Brawl For All matches because someone hates me. We also have a title match and a title change which I have a story about. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince to open the show. He says he wants to talk about what happened when Taker became #1 contender. We get a clip of Undertaker dressing up as Kane, which makes Vince wonder where Kane was and where Undertaker got that outfit. Last week he asked and was given no answer. Now we get a clip of the ending of last week’s show where Undertaker saves the pinfall on Kane. We also get clips of the brawl to end the show.

Vince calls Taker out and wants to know what’s going on. He blasts the dead man for thinking he can do everything on his own and that he won’t take the disrespect anymore. Undertaker still won’t answer if he’s with Kane or not. Since he won’t answer, Vince makes it him vs. Kane/Mankind tonight. Before Taker leaves, Vince tries to tell Taker where to go but it’s a chokeslam instead. The Stooges come out and are beaten up too.

European Title: D’Lo Brown vs. HHH

Brown takes over early on but HHH takes him down with a quick clothesline. Rock is watching from ringside. Trips ducks his head and takes a kick to the face. Pedigree is countered but HHH clotheslines Brown to the outside. He gets in Chyna’s face and has his blocked knocked off. Back in D’Lo takes over for a few moments but HHH hits the jumping knee to the face to take over. Suplex by the Game looks to set up the knee drop but Rock trips Trips. Chyna takes care of Rock as HHH hits a powerslam. Henry comes out and Chyna meets him with a chair. Rock comes in with a Rock Bottom and D’Lo wins the title.

Rating: C-. Quick story about this match. This show was taped on the 14th. Sometime over the weekend I went to a house show where Brown was already acknowledged as champion. Based on that, I already knew that HHH was going to lose the title when this show aired. That’s probably my first experience with a spoiler. The match was nothing of note at all but it advanced the DX vs. Nation feud.

The Nation celebrates the title win.

Sunday Night Heat is coming.

Brawl For All First Round: Quebecer Pierre vs. Steve Williams

Doc destroys him and the referee calls it with seven seconds to go.

We get a clip from Val’s movie last week with Yamaguchi-san’s wife.

In the arena, Yamaguchi says that his wife is going to be punished. He treats his wife like a slave and she has to crawl through his legs and get paddled. Val runs in to make the save and leaves with Yamaguchi’s wife.

Animal vs. Skull

Oh dear. There’s no Hawk. Animal won’t get in the ring when it’s 3-1 but the DOA comes after him. Animal goes into the steps and beaten down. No match. Ellering tries to run over Animal with the motorcycle but Hawk makes the save. He gets beaten down also and the DOA stand tall as well as bald.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman sees that he’s up against four guys so he goes to the back and comes back with Shamrock and Severn. Blackman takes him down quickly and hits a backbreaker for two. Shoulder block gets the same. A middle rope headbutt misses so Jarrett goes for the leg. Blackman kicks it off and the bicycle kick ends this. Basically a squash.

Owen runs out and sends Shamrock into the steps then runs back into the crowd.

Taker has his stuff with him and is walking out.

Cole says Taker has left. He said he’ll see us Sunday.

Here’s Austin for an interview with JR. Austin throws JR out quickly and says he wants to know which side Undertaker is on this Sunday. Vince comes out and talks about screwing, so it’s Austin taking Vince’s place tonight. Austin says there’s no point to it so he’s not fighting. Vince says if Austin doesn’t do it then Taker gets the title without a match. Austin says after he beats the monsters, Vince is next.

We get a clip from last week of Jason Sensation. That Shawn impression is scary good.

Owen Hart vs. Farrooq

Farrooq tries a quick backbreaker but Owen slips down the back and speeds things up to take control. Owen hooks a Boston Crab as this has been much closer to a squash than you would expect. Owen beats him down and grabs a mic to tell the fans he is not a nugget. Enziguri gets two. A powerslam by Farrooq gets two but Owen comes back with a missile dropkick. Farrooq actually goes up but gets crotched, setting up the Sharpshooter for the quick tap.

Rating: D+. I didn’t exactly expect a squash here. It’s not a terrible match but it being a squash was very surprising. Farrooq wouldn’t do much until forming the Acolytes (called Hell’s Henchmen at the time) with Bradshaw later in the year. Owen looked good here and would have a Dungeon Match on Sunday with Shamrock.

Shamrock runs out post match and chases Owen through the crowd.

Bearer won’t quite say whose side Taker is on. Mankind says kicking Austin in the teeth gives him pleasure.

Here are Mero and Jackie. Jackie trash talks Sable and offers her a chance to come out here and forfeit the bikini contest. Sable comes out in a maternity dress. She takes it off to reveal a bikini. Since she’s been in Playboy, this doesn’t do much. Edge comes in through the crowd and hits Mero with a Downward Spiral.

HBK comes out for commentary again.

They finally come to their senses and just show highlights of 8-Ball and Scorpio’s Brawl For All. Scorpio wins by decision.

The Nations says Rock will keep the title.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. X-Pac

DX runs in and a big brawl starts. We take a break and come back with the bell ringing. Chyna comes out as the only person at ringside. It’s power vs. speed here which isn’t something you often see with Rock. He’s a big guy but he’s never been one to use power to excess. Rock takes X-Pac down but Pac comes back with right hands. He speeds things up but Rock LAUNCHES him in a release hot shot which sends Pac to the floor.

Samoan Drop gets two as does a swinging neckbreaker. A quick chinlock sets up the People’s Elbow which only gets two. Pac grabs an X-Factor out of nowhere but he’s too spent to cover immediately. Bronco Buster hits but Pac charges into a powerslam for two. X-Pac throws him to the floor and grabs his knee to distract the referee. Chyna hits Rock with the title which gets a VERY close two. Rock’s clothesline misses and down goes the referee. A spin kick sends Rock down but here are D-Lo and HHH. HHH Pedigrees Rock after crotching Rock but a second referee runs out to say what he saw and it’s a DQ.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty rocking match before the overbooked ending. These Nation vs. DX brawls happened every week and it was cool to see a feud like this getting time, but I was hoping to see an ending to that match. Rock is a guy that isn’t big enough to make Pac’s offense look ridiculous, which means the match is a lot better. Fun stuff.

DX and the Nation get pulled apart again. The Nation is pulled to the floor and HHH gets a hot girl in the crowd to flash him. In other news, Jerry Lawler has volunteered to serve HHH for the rest of his life.

Kane/Mankind vs. Steve Austin

Austin hits Mankind with the title on the way to the ring. The tag champions don’t have to tag. Vince is watching in the back and is pleased. Austin manages to clothesline Kane to the floor and sends him into the steps. Back in a clothesline gets two on Mankind. He gets caught in the Claw though and they stumble to the floor.

Austin rams Mankind into the post but Kane is back up again. Back in and Austin hits the Thesz Press but Mankind pulls him to the floor. Back in again and a Stunner to Kane is countered. Here comes Undertaker with a chair. Mankind is now on the apron in a corner so maybe they do have to tag? Taker is in Austin’s corner and it’s back to Mankind. Foley hits Austin with a chair on the outside but his running knee in the corner misses. Austin grabs a Stunner to Mankind but Kane makes the save.

Kane tries the chokeslam but Austin kicks him low to escape. Taker pulls the chair up and swings it down but it hits Kane. Taker looks annoyed but it’s hard to say. Austin hits them all with the chair to end the show. If it wasn’t announced already, the match on Sunday is for the titles.

Rating: C+. All things considered, this was pretty entertaining stuff. The idea of Austin having to fight everyone on the planet at once was a good idea because that’s what he was best at: wild brawls that resulted in him being able to hang in there. The ending adds even more questions to the title match on Sunday, which is what the whole thing is built around.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one better than last week’s as the idea here was to have the PPV pushed even harder, which they certainly did. If you add that to one of the Brawl for All matches being clipped to highlights, there wasn’t much wrong on this show at all. It’s not great, but it did what it needed to do which is all you can ask for most of the time.

Here’s Fully Loaded if you’re interested:

In Your House 23: Fully Loaded
Date: July 26, 1998
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,855
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

So King of the Ring has come and gone and as I’ve gone over, we know what the double main event was and I’m sure you all know what happened in those matches so I’ll spare you the details. Ken Shamrock is your new king and that went absolutely nowhere. Not a lot really happened other than the main events but the Raws were the big deal for your buildup here. The main thing going on at the time was Austin feuding with just about everyone with Taker slowly becoming a tweener.

Your main event is Austin and Taker trying to get the tag titles from the new champions Kane and mankind. It was all leading up to the big feud with Taker and Kane against Austin, eventually being revealed as being masterminded by Vince himself. In reality, this show was more of a catalyst than a big show, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Let’s see if it is or not.

Oh I almost forgot: a guy that walked the streets and subways, screaming because he was bordering on being completely psychotic and beating up random people had debuted about a month before this. His name was a strange one: Edge.

The intro more or less just talks about how Austin has been facing everyone and somehow still has the title. Nothing special here at all but it gets the job done I suppose.

Val Venis vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett now has the Godwinns, now known as Southern Justice, as his bodyguards. Venis was controversial to say the least as he is likely the most envelope pushing character in company history as he jumped WAY over the line many times. However, he was a very  good wrestler that is often overlooked. Kaientai of all people come to the ring with their boss doing commentary and clearly doing an impression of a Japanese accent.

Their feud was over his wife sleeping with Val and appearing in one of his “videos.” This would end up with Val allegedly being castrated on Raw which was freaking creepy at the time and actually ended the show which was odd indeed. It also involved Taka turning heel and completely killing the division. Jarrett hits a DDT and the comments are great from both guys.

Ross says that anyone would go limp from that, which Lawler says he planted him like a geranium. What kind of a comparison is that? Venis really was underrated in the ring. He’s got a nice variety of offense which is a rare thing to see and he rarely made any noticeable mistakes. Apparently Austin thinks Taker is going to turn on him and that it’ll be 3-1 in the main event.

Val eventually wins it with a roll up as Yamaguchi continues to say that he’ll never be the same after Raw tomorrow. He’s really short so he gets a lot of jokes for that. Val gets on the mic and says that Yamaguchi is small and his wife says so.

Rating: B. This was a very decent match as both guys can really go in the ring when they’re given the chance. Val was the hot shot rookie and he showed why he was here. He had a nice variety of offense, a very unique gimmick a good look, size, strength and agility. Put him in there with a good technician like Jarrett and how could this be bad?

We see a shot of the Hart Family Dungeon where there will be a match tonight.

D’lo Brown vs. X-Pac

This is just a continuation of the DX/NOD feud but the real match would have been later tonight between Rock and HHH in an Iron Man match. Brown beat HHH for the European Title on Monday for no apparent reason as the Iron Man was supposed to be title vs. title. I was at a house show the Friday before that Raw so 10 days before this where D’lo was already billed as champion despite not winning the title until three days later.

Kama is now the Godfather of the Nation and is dressing like a pimp. This is non title for no good reason. There’s a bikini contest tonight with Sable and Jackie so King simply will not shut up about it. Other than that, this match is painfully boring. I can’t stand X-Pac but this is just bad no matter who is in it. The crowd is completely dead and in a ten minute match you should not need three rest holds. Godfather interferes and D’Lo hits the Sky High for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a very boring match. It wasn’t any good at all and while I can’t put the blame on either guy more than the other, I’m going to blame X-Pac because I hate that little bastard. This really was just a bad match and the non-title didn’t help it. It just gave us even less of a reason to care here so why should this be any good at all?

Apparently the Undertaker isn’t here yet.

Farrooq/Scorpio vs. Terry Funk/Bradshaw

Anyone that can find the point to this match will receive a free ham sandwich. As the other team heads to the ring, Funk says that this will be his last match in the WWF for at least six months, thereby ticking off Bradshaw. From what I can find, this wasn’t actually told to Bradshaw until just then so his reaction was legit. It pretty much left him without anything to do but he and Farrooq would join up around November.

The amazing part is that Funk actually did leave after this and wasn’t seen on a mainstream show until he showed up in WCW about two years later. The main thing here is all about Taker not showing up yet and Funk leaving soon. Other than that, this match is bad. The fans agree apparently as they start the boring chant which is actually acknowledged.

It’s just nothing of note at all here with a powerslam by Farrooq when Bradshaw jumps from the ropes being the only thing decent at all. Funk won’t tag out and in the big brawl Scorpio pins him after a 450. Bradshaw then beats all three of them up as he turns heel.

Rating: D. This was just bland as heck and no one was interested at all. It would have been fine on Raw I guess, but this had no business being on a PPV. The wrestling wasn’t that good, there was no story or build and no one really seemed to care that a 54 year old man was leaving. Can you blame them really?

Vader vs. Mark Henry

Apparently they had a tug of war or something on Shotgun Saturday Night which is a show I should review in a lot more detail someday. I just do not get what Vince’s problem is. Mark Henry is described by JR as still being raw and a rookie when he’s been in the company and a professional for over two years at this point. Vader has been a three time world champion in WCW.

The crowd is chanting VADER for the majority of the match. So how does the booking go of course? Henry gets his head handed to him for the majority of the match and hits two moves to win it. He kicks out of a move that more or less is the Vader Bomb, hits a bad powerslam and a splash to win it. WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM VINCE MCMAHON???

Why in the world would you not push a guy like Vader but have Mark freaking Henry still be a big deal? It’s been 13 years and he’s the same worker he was back then. Why in the world was he kept around when he gets hurt every five minutes while Vader is getting cheers but can’t keep a job?

Vader is clearly getting in better shape too as he’s visibly not as fat but more muscular and maybe a hair faster, while Henry’s chest looks rather horrible. Seriously, Vince needs to get his head some fresh air.

Rating: C. Vader of course does all the work and makes Henry’s level of suck reach only that of a vacuum and not a tornado. Henry botched a slam at the beginning of this match. Do you realize how difficult it is to botch a slam? It’s the most basic move there is after a punch. The sad thing is he could still botch it today and likely has. This just had me shaking my head and making me a bit angry. There was no sense at all to do this to Vader.

The Outlaws say they’ll be watching this next match closely.

LOD vs. DOA

Dang was there a spelling bee coming up with all of these abbreviations or something? Anyway, this is the convergence of two storylines in one as Paul Ellering, LOD’s mentor and the only person that’s ever been able to control them left them for the DOA a few weeks ago.

This was combined with the beginning of Hawk’s alcoholism storyline which evolved into a drug problem which evolved into him falling off of the top of the big screen one night which evolved into a storyline that a lot of people got a bad taste in their mouths because of. It just never felt right. Once again, Vince runs down another very over team in exchange for a copy of them, in this case the DOA. Anyway, this one is short and we don’t really see any effect of Hawk’s “condition.”

It’s fast for the most part with a standard tag team formula of faces dominate, heels take over, hot tag, finish. There’s nothing wrong with that and it works pretty well here. Animal even uses a dropkick and a pretty good one at that. He always was the more polished of the two. Anyway, the finish here is fairly simple: switch after the Doomsday Device leads to the pin. The main thing here was DOA’s manager being crazy according to Ross, but he really just acts like a normal heel manager. There’s nothing really all that crazy about him when you watch this match, so I guess there was a promo or something like that where his craziness was more explained. Either way, this was what you would expect from two teams like this.

Rating: B. Not bad but given the four guys out there, this was as good as it was going to get. Hawk gets beat up, tags Animal who cleans house, and then since the LOD was dominant in the 80s, Vince says screw you to the fans and pushes another team to the moon who never did anything in the company.

Dungeon Match: Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock

This is in the famous Hart Family Dungeon for absolutely no reason at all. In something else that there’s no point to, Dan Severn, Shamrock’s UFC rival is the referee. He wrestled as the NWA Champion forever and has a four year reign to his credit, but it was during the time when the company was completely dead. He was at an MMA tournament in Japan when he was called on to defend the title at a PPV called TNA.

He had to forfeit and Shamrock became the first TNA Champion. Anyway, Owen and Shamrock are apparently feuding so we’re having a match in Owen’s basement. This seriously looks like a homemade wrestling project that would be thrown on YouTube or something. Severn just leaning against the window when Shamrock makes his entrance amuses me for some reason. Anyway, this is submission only.

This looks dangerously close to a shoot with how hard they’re hitting each other in there. You get some very stiff shots into the wooden walls and they use the water pipe to get in the air. I’m really not sure if this is terrible or awesome. Anyway, they beat on each other for a bit until Owen, and I wish I was making this up, lifts Shamrock into the air and his head goes through the ceiling.

Anyone else thing that just sounds funny? Anyway, they brawl a bit more but Shamrock kicks Severn in the head, allowing Owen to grab a dumbbell and smash Shamrock in the head. He locks on a crossface and then taps Shamrock for him as Severn is waking up to declare Owen the winner. Owen goes through the dungeon (which is one room) and into the garage to leave. This didn’t last five minutes.

Rating: C. I gave it a C because I have no idea what to say about this. It was a cross between wrestling, UFC and backyard fighting. The whole thing was meant I think as just a way to have a novelty but it was somewhere in between sweet and terrible. Really just a weird thing.

In the back, Vince says that he has a replacement partner in case Taker doesn’t show up: Brooklyn Brawler.

Recap of HHH vs. Rock, which was supposed to be title for title as previously mentioned.

IC Title: HHH vs. Rock

This is two out of three falls. One thing I’ve never liked about 2/3 falls: pretty much whoever wins the first fall should be the champion shouldn’t they, at least if it’s by pin or submission? I mean, they beat the champion in a title match in a way by which the title can change hands. Also, for some reason I love HHH’s tights here.

This is yet again a match where DX and the Nation are there and have no real point of being there other than to act as a bunch of seconds. After the 37 other people clear out of the ring it’s time to get going. Slaughter sends off a bunch of people and only lets Chyna stay out there because she has a legit manager’s license. I’d love to take that test.

Crotch chop by HHH and it’s on. We have a thirty minute time limit which is likely going to come into play here. Chyna drills Rock behind the referee’s back as you can tell they’re in for a long one here. We brawl up the aisle a bit and HHH controls. Jerry asks an interesting question: if they’re both counted out is that one fall apiece or just the first fall?

Game gets sent into the steps and Rock starts dominating. The fans think Rocky Sucks. Back in the ring the momentum changes again. These two are far better at emitting emotion in a match than most guys are today. You get the feeling that this could end at anytime rather than just killing time until the finish.

With Rock distracting the referee Mark Henry comes down and splashes HHH. Billy Gunn comes out for the save and Henry heads to the back. Rock gets a belt shot for two. We hit a chinlock as Rock gets to run some time off. All Rock at this point. Dang Rock looks like he’s roided up something huge here. I mean he’s always been a big guy but he looks muscular here.

Back to that chinlock as we’re probably about 15 minutes into this. HHH gets some comeback offense in and hits the knee to the face. Rock grabs him and throws him at the top rope for a hot shot. Here comes Godfather but the Outlaws run out before he can even make it to the mats at ringside.

Rock keeps shoving the referee but it’s a distraction so that D’Lo can come in with the European Title but HHH stops him. He walks into a Rock Bottom to make it 1-0 Rock though. We have a one minute rest period now. Rock beats him up for awhile but gets sent into the railing. He pops off of that and KILLS Rock with a clothesline.

People’s Elbow hits as Brown is getting back up for two. HHH gets a big clothesline and both guys are down. We’re under 10 minutes to go here and Brown is getting back up. Chyna takes him out and while she’s being reprimanded, X-Pac runs down for an X Factor for two. Rock brings in a chair but accidentally pops the referee with it.

With no referee Chyna runs in for a low blow and a DDT on a chair. You might notice the high level of the term RUN-IN here. That evens us at one fall with about 5 minutes to go. After the rest period other referees have come out to help their fallen official so there’s no referee there. We only have two minutes left.

HHH gets all fired up as Hebner is here now. Facebuster sets up the 6th crotch chop and a big clothesline for two at a minute left. Samoan Drop puts HHH down for two as they were moving there for a bit.

They slug it out and Rock sets for the Rock Bottom but HHH counters into a SWEET Pedigree as the time is up. Oh man the fans are not happy. The Nation and DX come out for the big beatdown. HHH would get one last shot at the title in August at Summerslam and to say it blows this away is an understatement.

Rating: C+. I HATE the ending here. Who in the world books a 2/3 falls match to end in a time limit? That makes absolutely no sense at all to me. They’re getting close to the big blowoff to this match next month which is light years ahead of this, so this was fine I guess. It kept us from having a definitive end to the feud and it makes HHH’s win next month all the sweeter because we now know he can beat the Rock.

The main issue here is the amount of run-ins. Everybody comes in and the announcement of the time limit at the start more or less gave it away. This feud was the one that made both of these guys stars but it is NOTHING compared to what they would do two years later. I can’t wait to get to that iron man match.

Bikini Contest: Sable vs. Jackie

See, I told you Sable would be back. Before this starts, Dustin Rhodes comes out and leads us in a prayer, asking for forgiveness for those that watch what’s coming. This was a really weird period in his career that he was more or less a preacher. He would eventually start saying He is coming back, inferring Jesus but of course meaning Goldust.

Lawler is your moderator of this. Jackie is the annoying woman that allegedly is hot but no one else has ever seemed to see that in her. She’s with Mero now and no one could care less. She’s in a robe, Sable is in a t-shirt. Jackie goes first and has a red one piece on that’s more or less a pair of suspenders. Definite nip slip here as it’s easily visible and she covers it up after she’s done dancing badly.

Sable takes hers off and has on a half shirt and a thong. She says that Vince, who apparently is the way she got back into the company, said she should wear something more conservative. I think that was supposed to be a kind of sleeping with the boss story or at least an implied one but nothing ever came of it.

Anyway, she says it’s live TV and there’s nothing Vince can do so she pulls her half shirt off to reveal painted handprints with pasties over the nipples. Of course she wins and of course Vince comes and covers her up with his coat. The next night they reversed it, saying that wasn’t a bikini because we have to waste some time on all Raws.

Rating: F. This was freaking stupid and not even a decent contest. This was just bad.

Recap of the main event feud that is complicated to say the least. It was Russo’s magnum opus as it was a year long storyline that culminated with the swerve to end all swerves as Vince goes so far as to terrorize his own family due to his obsession with making Austin’s life a nightmare.

That would come later though as at the moment the main story was that Vince, Taker and Kane were part of a conspiracy against Austin. This started because Austin hit Taker with a chair by mistake when Taker was trying to help Austin against Kane and Mankind. After that Taker was seen going into his own locker room with Kane standing in it. That led to the theory that Taker was in on it.

Tag Titles: Taker/Austin vs. Mankind/Kane

The heels won the titles from the Outlaws on Raw a few weeks ago. Taker comes out to new music after getting there twenty minutes ago apparently. This is exactly what you would expect from a main event tag match with these four, but it’s given nearly half an hour. All four guys beat on each other and the tension between Austin and Taker is clear. They brawl on the floor, in the ring and all over the place.

It’s very hard to comment on a match like this because the first 15-20 minutes or so are just what you would expect in a match like this with very little of note. Austin keeps hitting stunners but there are kickouts every time or someone interferes. It’s a good match, but I really don’t get why the titles had to be involved.

Putting two guys that are big singles stars as tag champions rarely if ever works and it didn’t here, as the faces win but lost them back I think either the next night or 8 days later. Taker wins it with a tombstone on Kane.

Rating: B+. This was fine, but it made no sense to change the titles back so fast. It was Russo 101 to make them just a prop, which I’ve always hated deeply. Seriously, what’s the point in just making the belts a thing to advance a storyline? They should be on the top tag team, which they did about two weeks later when the Outlaws got them back. The wrestling was top quality with four great workers in there at the top of their game. Great match, but I’m not wild on the storyline.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is bad. There are two matches on it worth anything and one is a horrible ending. The main event is solid but it certainly can’t save the show. Aside from that and the opening match, the show is just a waste. Nothing of note happens and the two good matches certainly can’t save it.

The rest of the card is just random filler that few cared about. It would get a lot better soon though as the real glory days of the Attitude Era were on the horizon. Skip this for sure though and go grab Summerslam which is light years better and a very solid show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 13, 1998
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,569
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Shawn Michaels

Well we have two Raws to go before Fully Loaded which is just a big preview for Summerslam anyway, which the company more or less admitted to. That strategy wound up working as Summerslam was huge that year. The main event tonight is the tag title match with Kane/Mankind challenging the Outlaws. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from the end of last week’s show where Undertaker impersonated Kane and became #1 contender.

Raw opens up….and my goodness Shawn Michaels is here. He hasn’t been seen since Wrestlemania. He sits in on commentary and even kisses Lawler on the cheek. Shawn is going to be here for the rest of the night too. That’s something he’d be perfect for today actually.

Vader vs. Undertaker

Imagine this match if they were both in their primes. My goodness. Austin vs. Taker is officially announced for Summerslam. Kane comes out as well after the guys in the match do. He shoots the fire out of the corners and Taker jumps Vader. Vader slugs Taker down and pounds him down in the corner. I kid you not: Taker hits a Fameasser for two. That sounds like something out of a video game. Out to the floor with Bearer and Mankind out with Kane. Back in Vader powerslams him (minus most of the power) and a splash gets two. A middle rope splash gets two on Taker. He pops up, chokeslam, tombstone, pin.

Rating: C. This is exactly what guys who are over the hill like Vader should be doing. Vader was still a big enough guy that he could be considered a threat so having him lose to big names is a good way to keep the big names looking strong while not wasting big matches. Guys like Vader at this stage of his career don’t exist nearly as much anymore and that’s a real shame.

Mankind goes to hit Taker with a chair but Kane stops it for unknown reasons. Another reason JR is awesome: he points out the two possibilities of Kane either wanting to do it himself or saving his brother. That’s what a commentator can be great at: being a guide.

Brawl For All First Round: Bart Gunn vs. Bob Holly

The New Midnight Express collides! Cornette has resigned as their manager because of this. The announcers spend the intros absolutely burying WCW for their horrible Bash at the Beach PPV the night before with Karl Malone and Dennis Rodman in the main event. I gave it a rating of not acceptable if that tells you anything. Bart Gunn was the surprise in this tournament but it doesn’t make this interesting. Bart wins by decision. They get in a fight post match.

We get some clips from the DX Nation parody last week.

The guy that played Owen does some of him impressions on commentary. His Shawn is GREAT. So is his Austin. The Nation pops up on screen and says they’re looking for DX. Jason (impression guy) does some more Owen until the real one comes out and puts him in the Sharpshooter. DX comes out for the save as does the Nation.

Rock/Owen Hart vs. HHH/X-Pac

It’s a brawl to start with HHH and Owen staying in the ring. Rock vs. HHH in a 2/3 falls title for title match is announced for Fully Loaded. Rocky and Pac start us off and a Samoan Drop gets two. Owen hits a top rope elbow for two. Pac tries to speed things up but Owen can go step for step with him. Back to Rock and X-Pac can’t do anything with him either. A slam sets up the People’s Elbow for two. Owen distracts the referee so Rock can hit X-Pac low, but it lets HHH get a belt shot to put him down. Rock breaks up a tag but walks into an X-Factor for the surprise pin. HHH was never in the match.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but the ending was kind of surprising. I like that it came out of nowhere because it’s not something that you see coming. Most matches today are structured and go on the same formula so it’s very nice to be able to have a match that is nowhere near the formula but still works.

Marc Mero vs. Steve Blackman

Sable comes out for commentary. She still can’t comment on her relationship with Vince. Shawn calls Jacqueline Sexual Chocolate. Blackman takes over to start with slams and strikes. He keeps control and the girls get into it. Mero low blows Blackman and a Samoan Drop, but Jackie and Sable distract him and a bicycle kick gets the pin for Blackman.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind

Undertaker comes out as well. Mankind and Billy start but it’s quickly off to Road Dogg. Billy hammers on Mankind as the champs have tagged twice in just a few seconds. Chyna hits Mankind in his bad shoulder with a belt to give the Outlaws the advantage. Billy jumps off the middle rope into the Claw but Roadie saves him. Here’s Kane and Billy’s punches have no effect at all.

Kane shoves Gunn down and the beating begins. Billy is sent outside and Mankind throws him knees first into the steps. Taker has done nothing at all in this so far other than watch. Owen and Rock come out as Mankind comes back in. Mankind charges into Billy and they ram heads. Road Dogg and Kane come in but Roadie can’t hurt him either. Piledriver takes Mankind down as DX comes out to fight the Nation. Fameasser puts Kane down as does a Russian legsweep, but D’Lo comes off the top with the Lo Down to Road Dogg. A tombstone gives the monsters the titles.

Rating: D+. This was Attitude Era 101: total insanity ending with a run-in to change a title. The monsters would only hold them for a few weeks but would then get them back. It would lead up to Summerslam and the rematch where someone turns on someone else. It’s not a great match but if you’re watching for the wrestling in this one, you really don’t get the point.

HHH complains to Vince about what just happened.

Kai En Tai vs. Too Much/Taka Michinoku

Too Much starts fast and hits a Hart Attack on Funaki. Off to Togo who gets suplexed by Scotty. Taka comes in to speed things up and calls for the Michinoku Driver. Kai En Tai continues their speed stuff to stop Taka but he makes the tag to Brian. A powerbomb puts Togo down and Too Much uses some double teaming to get two. Scotty uses the Worm’s grandfather but Togo moves. A moonsault gets two for Dick. Taka and Scott get in an argument, resulting in Scotty taking a senton backsplash to end this. Not enough to grade but it was mostly a mess.

Too Much throws Taka to the floor….and here’s Val. He didn’t like being slapped by Yamaguchi-San but it made him realize he was wrong about something. No man should ever mess with another man’s wife. Val apologizes and offers a gift: a special viewing of his latest video entitled Land of the Rising Venis. Val is in bed and stuff is censored. And it’s with Yamaguchi’s wife. Val says sayonara and cuts the camera. He says that once they taste Valbowski, they never come back.

Here’s Vince to address a few things. He says we’ll discuss the tag title situation in a minute and calls out Undertaker. Vince talks about King of the Ring and how Taker fooled him last week. What Vince wants to know though is did Taker have help or was he acting along last week. He demands an answer and Taker refuses. Vince starts to back off and here comes Austin.

Austin tells Vince to get out. As for Taker, he and Austin are on the road to Summerslam. Austin respects Taker for challenging him face to face. However before they get there, they have to go through Fully Loaded. Austin wants to know if Taker will be his partner or another opponent at the PPV. Taker won’t answer him either…..and here’s DX?

HHH says he wants answers too and says that tonight, the Outlaws get their rematch. Somehow that means we’ll find out if Taker and Kane are in cahoots. There are going to be three referees: one on the inside, and Taker and Austin as guest enforcers on the outside. Vince says ok so HHH tells him to suck it.

Brawl For All First Round: Godfather vs. Dan Severn

So this is the reason Severn left the tournament. He easily takes Godfather down over and over but for some reason that no one but the people running this crap gets, they don’t count. The fans HATE this and Severn wins. He bailed on it because he had nothing to prove (true) and it made no sense (double true).

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind

Austin and Undertaker are referees on the floor. It’s a brawl to start and I don’t think it’s going to change from that very much. Road Dogg and Kane fight in the ring as Gunn hits Foley in the face with the steps. The Outlaws double team every chance they get but it doesn’t really work. We actually get to a tag format with Mankind vs. Roadie. We’re just waiting on the big brawl with the main event guys to start here. Road Dogg has been being beaten down the entire time here.

Billy comes in and there goes the referee. Roadie low blows Kane and hooks a small package. Austin comes in for the count but Kane pulls Austin out. DUN DUN DUN!!! Kane chokeslams Road Dogg but Austin stops Taker’s count. The brawl begins and here’s the Nation and DX. Stunners and chokeslams all around (Shawn said those exact words a second after I thought of them) end the show.

Rating: D. I can barely rate this so I’ll keep it brief: if you’re looking for wrestling here, go read a book instead, because you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Overall Rating: C-. This show is one where your taste will vary depending on what you’re looking for. The wrestling here is nothing of note at all, but it did a lot of the heavy lifting that had to get done to get us to Fully Loaded. Most of the card is set now so we don’t have that to worry about. That being said, the Fully Loaded stuff wasn’t really all that interesting because it’s just a buildup PPV to Summerslam. Not a terrible show tonight, but this would be a great show to read about instead of watching. Make your own jokes about that in the comments.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 30, 2012
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentary: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re past the Rumble now and Raw still has the same champion. The main thing going on tonight is that HHH is going to be evaluating Ace’s job performance. Last night, Ace pretty much was perfect other than a few small errors, which makes me think something is up. Punk vs. Ziggler was a highlight of the show and I’d like to see more of it. Also the Chamber members have been announced already: Kofi, Miz, Truth, Punk, Ziggler and Jericho. Let’s get to it.

After a quick Rumble video and the theme song, we’re ready to go.

Ace comes out and shakes hands with fans and the announcers to keep sucking up. He talks about how it’s ok to make mistakes as long as you don’t make the same ones. Ace is looking forward to the evaluation. He talks about his performance last night and moves onto the “Elimination PPV.” We hear the aforementioned Chamber participants. Also it’s Beth vs. Eve, Kofi vs. Miz and Ziggler vs. Orton. Finally, Punk vs. Bryan.

Cue Punk who leads us in the goodbye song. Ace wants an apology for not screwing Punk and being a man of his word. Punk talks about how bad of a job Ace has done and can’t wait until HHH gets here and throws him out. We also get the Bart Simpson (I think) suck and blow at the same time line. Ace says he won’t take it personal because the Board doesn’t. He does offer a clean slate via a handshake but Punk says if you do that to the best wrestler in the world, it means you want to go to sleep.

That brings out Bryan for the big celebration as usual. After last night, Punk isn’t much of a challenge. Punk again says he’s the best in the world so Bryan says he’s a role model as a vegan. He doesn’t even eat meat. Punk wants to know what exactly Bryan eats then. Bryan threatens to shove the Pipe Bomb somewhere it shouldn’t be. Punk says let’s give the people a show and the best match in the world.

That brings out Sheamus to remind us that he won the Rumble last night. His words, not mine. He also reminds the champs they defend at the Chamber PPV and that Ace could be fired. Sheamus doesn’t pick yet and gives Ace a little Irish proverb. Punk and Bryan shake hands.

Barrett is in a sky box to watch Orton’s match.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

During Orton’s entrance, Barrett says he’ll finish the job on Friday. Barrett is doing commentary from his box in a way. Ziggler starts off fast and avoids a right hand. Randy takes it to the mat for a second with a headlock. Barrett reiterates that he’ll take Orton out on Friday. Zigger hits a dropkick to the back and we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock.

Orton gets up and avoids a corner splash but another dropkick takes him down for two. A neckbreaker sets up the sit-ups. Dolph goes up but gets crotched and a superplex gets two for Randy. Orton powerslams him down but the elevated DDT is countered and Dolph hooks the sleeper. They go to the corner again and Orton gets a slick rolling cradle for two. Fameasser gets the same for Dolph. Zig Zag is countered and we go to the floor. Orton throws him into the barricade and comes back in with the elevated DDT. RKO ends this totally clean at about 11:00.

Rating: B-. Is Ziggler capable of having a bad match anymore? He and Orton do nothing but put on solid matches anymore and this was no exception. Good stuff here and the dominant victory is fine for Orton. I don’t think it hurts Ziggler really as he’s a lower level star than Orton so it’s not exactly an upset.

New Hall of Fame inductee tonight.

We get a still package on the Kane/Ryder/Cena stuff from last night.

Ace is still talking to people in the back and asks Regal how his son is. Regal has daughters apparently, who are conjoined and locked in the attic. Somehow that’s hilarious.

Brodus Clay vs. Tyler Reks

There’s a disco ball in Brodus’ entrance now. Reks actually gets in some offense, even getting Brodus down to one knee. Not that it matters though as Brodus comes back and What The Funk ends this in 1:04.

Punk is lacing up his boots when Bryan comes in. Punk asks about the whole vegan thing and Bryan explains about how it’s about screaming animals and not putting poison in your bodies. Bryan asks about straightedge which Punk explains and says he doesn’t claim to be a role model. He’s just the best wrestler in the world.

CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan quickly takes over with a dropkick and double leg stomp out of the surfboard position. The announcers explain the Chamber as Bryan continues to control. He misses a high kick and Punk backdrops him to the floor. Punk drops an axehandle on him and they trade European uppercuts on the floor. Bryan throws him over into the timekeeper’s area but Punk beats the count back in at 9.

Punk hits a belly to back suplex to set up the springboard clothesline which gets two. Bryan does his moonsault out of the corner and tries a cross body at the same time Punk does. They collide and as they’re both down we take a break. Back with Bryan working on the arm which he kicked during the break. Bryan goes up but Punk crotches him and hits a rana after shouting BEST IN THE WORLD.

The running knee hits in the corner and Punk shifts to the good arm for the bulldog. I love subtle little things like that, even though Cole and Lawler pointed it out. GTS is attempted but Bryan heads to the floor. Baseball slide is attempted but Punk’s suicide dive is countered by a forearm. Missile dropkick gets two for Daniel. Bryan fires off the kicks but Punk gets a sunset flip for two. BIG kick to the head of Punk gets the same.

They go to the corner again with Bryan trying a superplex. A headbutt puts him down and there’s the Savage Elbow. Well not quite as he only points with one arm. GTS is countered into a crucifix but Bryan can’t get the LeBell Lock. Slingshot puts Bryan into the corner and a high kick puts him down. And here’s Jericho to interfere for the DQ at 15:04.

Rating: B. It was good while it lasted and I guess this sets up Jericho vs. Punk. It was very good back and forth stuff, but it does kind of say a lot when Punk vs. Bryan and champion vs. champion is only the first hour main event. Still though, pretty entertaining match which had no chance at a clean ending.

Jericho hits Punk with a Codebreaker and leaves him laying. He hit Bryan first though so Bryan wins.

Mike Tyson is going to the WWE Hall of Fame. This was on ESPN.com earlier today.

Truth comes out for commentary for the next match.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz talks about the handstand last night and how he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania no matter what. Miz controls to start with his usual basic stuff. Kofi avoids a charge and speeds things up a bit, but Miz takes him down with a double axe from the top. Off to a cravate and into the short DDT for two. Cole keeps asking about Little Jimmy and Truth gets annoyed. Kofi is in tights with question marks on them. Top rope cross body hits Miz for two. He tries the SOS but Miz escapes. Jumping forearm is almost countered into the Finale but Kofi shakes him off. Trouble in Paradise hits out of nowhere for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C. It’s nice to see Kofi get a win which gives him some momentum. He hasn’t really done anything as a singles guy in awhile so this is something he needs going into the Chamber. Not a great match but at least it accomplished something and was 100% clean. Kofi has as much chance as I do in the Chamber but that’s ok as he’ll hit some huge spots for the fun aspect of the match.

Otunga comes in to talk to Ace and wishes him luck.

Same Rock video from last night airs. You know, for the wrestling fans that don’t know who The Rock is.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve jumps her to start but the Glam Slam ends this in 30 seconds. Yep, this was pointless.

Kane pops up on the screen and says this could have been avoided if Cena embraced the hate. Cena keeps looking by Kane to Rock, and until Cena embraces the hate, there’s no way Cena can beat Rock. Kane is going to continue punishing Ryder until the hate is embraced. Tonight, Kane is going to use Eve as a way to push that idea along. The fire goes off and Kane isn’t at the entrance. Instead he’s on the apron behind her. She screams and Cena comes out for the save.

The fight is on quickly and they go into the aisle. Cena fires back at Kane and rams him into the steps. He picks up the steps and takes Kane down with them, drawing a smile on John’s face. There’s another shot and Kane is in trouble. Cena loads up the announce table and sets for the AA as he laughs. Kane elbows his way out of it and runs through the crowd. Good segment as Cena has some fire to him (no pun intended) and you buy that he can beat Kane now, which is the idea heading into the Chamber so he can reach his destiny at Wrestlemania.

Time for Ace’s evaluation. Ace says he’s not nervous because he knows what he’s done on Raw and that the fans have appreciated it. He’s had to go through a self evaluation and has given himself a lot of 5’s (the highest score possible). Ace goes on with this for a bit before HHH’s entrance cuts him off. HHH says forget everything about the assessment and all that stuff because it’s all about how Ace has grabbed the power and tried to make himself a star.

Ace tries to explain it and HHH says don’t lie and make it worse. HHH talks about how this is a personal agenda to make Ace a star. That HAS to be a rib. HHH talks about people letting personal decisions cloud their judgment and having to be replaced. Ace says he’ll do anything to save his job. HHH makes sure the word anything was in there. When Ace says that’s right, HHH says apologize to the WWE Universe.

Ace apologizes to everyone and you can feel the corporate stooge in him coming out perfectly because he snaps this off like he’s ordering dinner. HHH says the fans aren’t going with it so how about Ace runs a gauntlet match against everyone in the locker room that wants a shot at him. That probably isn’t fair though so how about Ace joins Vince’s exclusive club. Ace is really shaken about it but puts on chapstick and gets on his knees.

His eyes are closed and he’s puckered up. HHH laughs and says “You’re really going to do it aren’t you you freak?” Instead, Ace is fired and HHH is running Raw again. HHH sets to wish his well in his future endeavors…..and a gong sounds. The lights go out, fire comes up, and the Undertaker is back. I don’t know if Ace is officially gone or not but HHH said the Board said HHH could run Raw again anytime he wanted.

Taker stares down HHH and slowly walks to the ring. Well there’s Wrestlemania and the shot at 20-0. Taker circles HHH and they stare each other down. This is a LONG overrun as it’s 11:15. He looks up at the Wrestlemania sign and then at HHH then hits the throat slit. A very long staredown and more looking at the sign follows and then HHH pats him on the shoulder to a lot of booing. HHH leaves and Taker looks at the sign again. His music plays us out.

Overall Rating: B. I really liked tonight’s show, but MAN does it take a hit between Miz vs. Kofi and the Cena/Kane fight. That Rock video is way too long and it stops things cold. I really don’t get the point of it either. Who doesn’t know who the Rock is? Even non-wrestling fans know he used to be a wrestler and wrestling fans worship him. Why do we need a 5 minute video on him? Either way, the rest of the show was solid as they’ve turned it on as they always do this time of year.

Results
Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO
Brodus Clay b. Tyler Reks – What The Funk
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Trouble in Paradise
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 6, 1998
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another day another Raw. With three weeks to go before Fully Loaded we have more conspiracy stuff to get to. Austin won the title back last week so there’s also likely to be fallout from that. Also we’ll of course have more DX vs. the Nation stuff as that feud is going to take awhile to get through. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video of last week’s events.

Here’s Undertaker to open the show. He says he wants a title shot and he wants it right now. We cut to the back where Cole is looking for Austin. JR says Austin is here somewhere. There he is and he doesn’t want to talk. Here’s Austin who gets in the ring. Taker gets ready but Vince cuts them off. He says that he picks the opponents and times when Austin defends the title. However since they both want it, he’ll make it happen, but at Fully Loaded. It won’t be a one on one match though. It’ll be them teaming up against Kane/Mankind. The #1 contender will be named tonight as well. Vince flips Austin off.

Brawl For All First Round: Brakkus vs. Savio Vega

Brakkus is a big German muscle man. Savio gets in some good shots in the first round but it’s tied up because of a takedown. Brakkus is totally gassed after round two. Savio wins via points or decision or however you win these things. Brakkus has a broken nose.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock easily sends him to the floor to start. Jarrett comes back in with a top rope cross body but Shamrock rolls through it for two. Edge is in the crowd. Out to the floor and Jarrett throws him into the steps. Jeff takes over and hooks a sleeper. Belly to back breaks whatever momentum Shamrock was getting going. Shamrock starts his comeback and hits a powerslam. A belly to back suplex gets two when King Mabel of all people runs in and splashes Shamrock.

Rating: D. Boring match but it was only here for the ending. Mabel would be here for one night only and would face Shamrock later in the night, which is why things were so short. I don’t think anyone wanted to see Mabel and I don’t think most people remembered him, but either way it’s just one night and the King of the Ring angle was something for Shamrock to do for awhile.

Vader vs. Bradshaw

Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind for the titles next week. What exactly are you expecting here? They’re big, they’re strong, they hit each other a lot. Vader fires off headbutts in the corner and goes up but jumps into a powerslam. And here are Kane and Mankind to beat them both up for the double DQ. The big guys leave the lesser big guys laying.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Headbangers

Please be a squash. The Headbangers pour hot candle wax on themselves on the way to the ring. Ellering is with the DOA here and sends them right after the Headbangers. Mosh vs. let’s say 8-Ball to start. Ellering says the wind was blowing towards the DOA so he went with them. The LOD took their talent and became prisoners of their own memories. Thrasher gets two on a cross body. Off to Skull and Mosh and the Headbangers do their…whatever that is that they do. Stage Dive is broken up and the DOA hits something like a spike belly to back suplex to pin Thrasher.

Rating: D. This was basically a squash but at least it wasn’t against the LOD. Those matches were simply awful so of course they would go on for months. Not much here and the Headbangers weren’t going to be anything pretty much ever again. Not horrible, but there’s only so much this could be.

D-Lo Brown vs. Terry Funk

Brown has the chest protector. Terry takes him to the mat easily but D-Lo gets him into the corner and splashes him with the chest protector. Terry tries to chop him but can’t due to the protector. Instead he punches Brown in the face and piledrives him. A Downward Spiral takes Brown down and they go to the floor. Terry tries an Asai Moonsault but partially hits the railing. Back in and Terry thinks enough to put Brown on his stomach for the moonsault so that it hurts. Brown goes to the apron and Godfather hits Funk with some jewelery. The Low Down ends it.

Rating: D+. I love Terry Funk more and more every time I see him. He does crazy stuff but he has some of the most entertaining matches on Raw every week. Good stuff here and the beginning of one of Brown’s long running gimmicks. That nagging injury angle could work today if someone would think to use it.

Undertaker comes out and chokeslams everyone, including Terry, basically becoming a tweener.

Here’s Vince to announce the #1 contender. We’ll get to the announcement in a bit but first let’s bring some people out. First up, Mankind. Now Kane. Finally it’s Undertaker. Vince talks about everyone and why they could be #1 contender. Mankind took a horrible beating at King of the Ring, Kane was a great champion but was also a very stupid person, and Taker Vince isn’t sure on.

Is it because he’s done evil things to the other candidates? Is it because he thinks he’s as good as Austin? Or is it something else? Either way, we’ll find out who the #1 contender is tonight in a triple threat match.

Brawl For All First Round: Hawk vs. Darren Drozdov

Hawk looks very stupid in wrestling gear and boxing gloves. They lumber around for the first round and this needs to end already. I mean the whole competition mind you. Hawk gets knocked backwards in the second. Nothing happens in the third round and it’s a draw. Droz would advance because Hawk was hurt.

Here are Mero and Jackie. The fans chant for Sable and Jackie says she’s here to talk. She blames herself for Mero losing the fight because she wore him out. Apparently Sable couldn’t satisfy him. Here’s Sable who says Marc couldn’t do anything. Sable implies Jackie is a rather loose woman, so Jackie wants a bikini contest. Ok then.

Val Venis vs. Dustin Runnels

Val’s pre match thing is about Joe Paterno. Dustin prays a bit. Val takes over quickly and hits a running knee in the corner. He goes up for punches but gyrates in Dustin’s face, resulting in an atomic drop. Val takes over again and hooks a full nelson with his legs on Dustin. Dustin comes back with a Russian legsweep but here’s Kai En Tai for the DQ.

Yamaguchi gets on the mike and threatens Val. His wife can’t stop looking at Venis.

And now for the famous part of the show: the DX parody of the Nation. We have HHH as the Crock, Road Dogg as B-Lo, X-Pac as Mizark, Billy as Godfather and a guy named Jason Sensation as Owen. Billy says random things and hands the mic to HHH. He has an eyebrow painted on his forehead and talks about what he was cooking in the bathroom. Roadie repeats everything and then shakes his head. Crock sets for a People’s Elbow on B-Lo but stops mid-leg turn to talk about how when he hits Rock Bottom with the ladies, he has to lay the Smackdown on himself.

B-Lo of course runs to the corner and shakes his head after repeating everything Crock said. Jason Sensation (in a PERFECT Owen voice) says that he looks like a road sign. He wanted to be tough, but he couldn’t grow his beard in. He’s a black Hart, a winner and a soul survivor WOO! And if anyone smells what the Rock is cooking, it’s him. Look how big his nose is. What is he, an aardvark. WOO!

Mizark wants to know what Rock is cooking, because hey hey hey, it smells like crap. B-Lo is finally told to shut up. Now shut your mouths and know your roles, because Nation, we got two words for you: WATCH THIS. This is still absolutely hilarious and had me cracking up. It’s on a WWE DVD somewhere I’m sure.

Mabel vs. Ken Shamrock

Mabel goes after the ribs and hits a backbreaker. Shamrock hammers on him but a corner splash misses. A middle rope elbow can’t drop the monster and neither can a leg lariat. World’s Strongest Slam puts Ken down but a middle rope clothesline misses and the ankle lock ends this quick. Not long enough to rate but this was no surprise at all.

Shamrock won’t let go of the hold and snaps again.

Here are Vince and Bearer to watch the triple threat. Austin joins them. It’s Austin and Vince on commentary.

Undertaker vs. Mankind vs. Kane

Winner is #1 contender. And there’s no Undertaker. The arena has Kane’s red lights in it. Vince gets off commentary and says it’s now one on one and no holds barred. We’ll throw in falls count anywhere in the building too. Mankind sits on the floor in front of the steps. He says he’s given enough and he’s not giving for Vince anymore. Mankind isn’t going to fight his friend Kane. Vince says ring the bell and we have like 2 minutes left. Kane stands in the ring as Vince yells to get going. Kane goes to the floor, cracks Mankind in the head with the chair and becomes #1 contender.

Kane rips off the mask to reveal the Undertaker, who is now #1 contender, end of show. This was done perfectly. Kane had been wearing the two sleeved outfit for a few weeks so it wasn’t out of the ordinary to see him in that. The red light keeps you from being able to see details of Taker, and therefore it probably fooled a lot of people. Very well done and I was shocked when I was ten.

Overall Rating: C. This show is very indicative of what the Attitude Era’s problem is: it doesn’t age well at all. The problem is that when you have a show that is totally built around drama and who knows what and who is really with who, it’s very entertaining to watch week to week. Watching it later, you realize that it’s not the best TV. The difference between this and Nitro is on Nitro, there was a ton of drama, but it resulted in stuff in the ring week to week. Now Raw did that too, but it resulted in great stuff in the ring on the PPVs, which means the TV can be kind of boring to sit through.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 29, 1998
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 16,505
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is pretty historic show in that we have a world title match as Kane defends against the man he beat last night, Steve Austin. Other than that, we also have the debut of one of the dumbest ideas in the history of the company: the Brawl For All. Other than that, we’ve got Shamrock as the new King of the Ring and we begin the road to Fully Loaded, which is in four weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a still package from the title match last night. Taker smacked Austin in the head with a chair and claimed that it was inadvertent. Either way, it cost Austin the title.

Here’s Vince and here’s all fired up. There’s a red carpet in the ring and the title is under glass. He spends a lot of time bragging about how awesome the new champion is rather than the old one. Vince praises Kane who has never had alcohol or uttered a swear or anything like that. He’s a role model apparently. Here’s Kane and Bearer does the talking of course.

Paul talks about how this is a place where dreams come true. He spent over twenty years watching Kane watch his brother and about how Kane wanted to be like Taker. Bearer told him that Kane could be better than him. For the first time, Taker is in Kane’s shadow. Here’s the belt presentation. Patterson isn’t here due to a family emergency which is legit if I remember correctly.

Vince goes to put the title on Kane but here’s Austin. He says Kane never busted him open which is true. Austin wants a rematch right here tonight. He keeps telling Vince to make it but Vince is hesitant. If the people want it, why not do it? Bearer says it’s all right with him if it’s all right with Kane. Now Austin yells at Kane, talking about how it was Taker who won the title last night and in a great bit of manipulation, Austin says Kane will always want to know if he could do it himself. Kane nods yes to Austin and the title match is on for later.

Darren Drozdov vs. Steven Regal

Sable introduces Regal, who sadly enough is just Steven Regal, British guy. I hadn’t realized it yet but Lawler is now on commentary both hours. Sable sits in on commentary. Droz hammers away on Regal who does his usual shouting. We’re on a split screen of the match and Sable, so at least there’s something to look at. JR keeps asking Sable about her relationship with Vince and all that and she can’t comment. Regal hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Droz. Droz makes a comeback and goes up. Regal suplexes him off the top and the Regal Stretch ends this boring match.

Rating: D-. I can see why Regal was sent down to Dory Funk’s training center for some more work. He hurt his ankle there though and later broke his leg so he didn’t have another match on WWF TV until around Halloween. That’s good too because this was really pretty boring stuff.

Here’s the new King, Ken Shamrock. He talks about how it was hard to win last night but he managed to win. As far as Rocky goes, the guy he beat last night, last night Rocky showed him something. Here comes Owen who says he was a better king than Ken is. Owen challenges him for later and Ken says it was Owen that broke his ankle so it’s on. Now here’s HHH who wants in on this too. Shamrock is a really weak talker. Granted that isn’t his strong suit and never was supposed to be.

We had to get here. I didn’t want to do it but we had to eventually. It’s time for the Brawl For All.

The UFC was gaining popularity so WWF tried to get in on some of it. This is the result. There are three one minute rounds and a point system. You get 5 points for the most punches per round, 5 points for a takedown and 10 points for a knockdown. A knockout ends the fight.

Now here’s where things got really stupid: It wasn’t predetermined. That’s right: this is a legit fighting tournament. Now, any common sense would suggest that Dan Sever, a legit all-American wrestler and an Olympic alternate as well as a former UFC Champion, would be the runaway favorite. However, for some reason this was designed to get Dr. Death Steve Williams over. That didn’t happen. It also didn’t help that it was another tournament just after the King of the Ring and that there were no submissions. Let’s get this over with.

Brawl For All First Round: Marc Mero vs. Steve Blackman

I won’t be rating any of these because it’s not wrestling. Blackman takes him down quickly but instead of holding him on the ground, they stand up and start all over again as soon as they hit the ground. The crowd is openly booing 26 seconds in. Blackman gets 4 takedowns in the first round alone. He also got the most punches so he’s up 25-0. The fans say they want wrestling. Blackman dominates the second round and there’s no point to even talking about this. After about 9 takedowns, Blackman wins by decision, making the points worthless. He was hurt though so Mero got to come back. So freaking stupid.

Kane says he’s giving Austin a title shot because he knows he can win and is better than Taker ever was.

Someone is just getting here.

Val Venis vs. Dick Togo

Make your own name jokes. Val chases Yamaguchi off with a chair. Yamaguchi’s wife is at ringside, which comes into play later. Val pounds him into the corner for a fast start. Dustin Rhodes comes out to preach a bit. Togo runs the corner and hits a nice flip dive attack. Rhodes wants to know if Jerry and JR have thought about how many people they can reach by spreading the word of God. Jerry says chill and Rhodes quotes scripture. DDT gets two for Togo. Togo goes up but jumps into a powerslam. A regular slam sets up the Money Shot (with gyrations) to end this clean. Pretty much just a squash.

Val hits on Yamaguchi’s wife post match. Yamaguchi protests and slaps him. Kai En Tai comes in so Val blasts them with a chair.

Edge is watching from the crowd.

Austin says he didn’t lose the title so he’ll be getting it back tonight.

HHH vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart

Owen and Hart fight on the floor while HHH chills in the ring. Owen comes in so HHH pounds on him for a bit and the jumping knee gets two. Jerry suggests that HHH would have been the King of Kings if he had won there. So that’s where it started. All three are back in now and the fans are all over Owen. Shamrock and Owen wind up double teaming the Game and Shamrock gets two.

Owen is sent to the floor and HHH gets a flying knee for two. A piledriver gets two on Trips but Shamrock saves. Snap suplex puts Owen down but he pops up and grabs a German on Shamrock for two. During the break we got the triple sleeper and double jawbreaker spot. Now the blondes are going after the ankle of Shamrock which isn’t totally healed yet. A missile dropkick puts HHH down (with an inadvertent bell) and Owen hooks a Sharpshooter (Jerry: “Is Vince around?”).

Now Triple H tries the Pedigree on Shamrock but Owen breaks it up with a spinwheel kick. DDT puts HHH down and Shamrock comes back on Owen. Leg lariat gets two for Ken and he crushes HHH. Here’s the ankle lock to Owen but HHH makes the save. Rana is countered by HHH into a powerbomb but he gets enziguried to the floor. Chyna takes Owen out so Shamrock goes out to beat on him. Rock runs in and blasts HHH with the IC Title. Shamrock comes in and gets the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was a long match and it was very energetic as they moved all over the place the entire time. I wasn’t wild on it but I’m not a fan of triple threats in general. This was before the modern standard triple threat formula was established though so it was a nice change of pace.

DX and the Nation fight on the stage as is their custom. Owen puts Shamrock in a figure four around the post.

Here’s Taker who has an explanation of some sort. He says he owes no one anything but he’ll say why he came to the ring last night. He and his brother don’t get along but he couldn’t let Kane set himself on fire. Cole who is conducting the interview says that may have cost Austin the title. Taker says he did what he had to do.

Cue Vince who says Taker did it because he thinks he can beat Kane but not Austin. Vince calls him evil and threatens him with something if he interferes tonight.

Brawl For All First Round: Bradshaw vs. Mark Canterbury

Canterbury is Henry Godwinn. They throw a lot of punches during the first round and are gassed afterwards. Bradshaw pounds him down but Canterbury stands up. The fans think it’s boring. I’m not really going to bother talking about these much because that’s not what I’m here for. Canterbury gets a takedown as Lawler tries to make us believe that this is something impressive. Bradshaw wins if you care.

Summerslam is in 9 weeks. That would be pretty easily the biggest Summerslam ever.

Here’s the LOD minus Sunny. Animal says they have a new manager: Paul Ellering, their original manager. Here’s the LOD to complain though. Ellering turns on the LOD because the DOA is his new team. Ellering would later say that this was awful because he couldn’t bring himself to insult the LOD.

Taker says no one tells him what to do, implying that he’ll interfere in the title match.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Kane

Austin has a bad arm from an infection I believe. Austin goes right at Kane but gets knocked down by the power. A forearm shot floors Kane though and the fans are erupting after every single move. Quick Stunner attempt is countered and Kane heads outside. Austin dives from the apron with a clothesline and Kane goes into the steps.

Back inside and Kane hammers him down but walks into the Thesz Press. Austin goes after the leg, wrapping it around the post. Kane kicks him to the floor and Austin goes into the steps again. Austin is in trouble so the fans cheer even faster. Even Bearer gets a poke in with what looked like an object. Off to a chinlock and here’s Taker.

Austin tries to make a comeback but walks into a big boot by the champion. Top rope clothesline takes Austin down. Austin tries to come back but walks into a bad chokeslam. Tombstone and Stunner are countered but the second attempt at the Stunner gives Austin the title back totally clean. Taker did nothing at all.

Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird match. Austin pretty much just beat Kane clean in about 9 minutes. I mean…that’s it. He too all of the attacks, countered the Tombstone and hit the Stunner to end it. There’s nothing else to it and that’s such a surprise given how dominant Kane had been over his time so far.

Austin Stuns Taker post match and the giants sit up at the same time to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The Brawl For All stuff just cripples it. I know it’s short, but my goodness it takes me out of the show. It drives me crazy when wrestling apparently isn’t enough so they have to do whatever else they can to try to get people watching. Just stick with what it says on the marquee and you won’t go wrong. Why Vince hates that idea is beyond me.

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Great American Bash 2007
Date: July 22, 2007
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,034
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

Back to the WWE again and we’re back to double branded shows with this one. Therefore we have two world title matches tonight in the form of Khali defending against Kane and Batista, plus Cena vs. Lashley in a match that I’ve always hoped the company would be able to present on a bigger stage. Other than that there isn’t much huge on here, at least not from an historical perspective. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is being here for a party. This transitions into talking about the main events.

The announcers talk about the show. I’ve always felt sorry for the ECW guys who have to sit there for three hours and call an 8 minute match total.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. MVP

This feud went on and on. To give you an idea, this is July of 07 right? Matt won the title in April of 08. Matt armdrags him and MVP bails to the floor. Back in and they go to the mat. Both guys go for arm control but MVP gets sent to the floor. Plancha to the floor gets two back inside. Back in and things slow down a bit. Test of strength goes on and Mattt grabs a suplex for two.

Matt sets for what I’d assume was a tornado DDT but MVP yanks him off. Boot to the head gets two. Off to a double arm hold but Matt bites his leg. Well that’s a counter. MVP pounds on Matt’s bad head and neck. Fireman’s carry results in him just dropping him without going off his feet. Matt gets a clothesline but when he goes up he loses his balance and might have hit his head.

MVP goes up and hooks a superplex off the top. He can’t follow up though due to slamming his head on the mat. That gets a delayed two. MVP finally juts rams Matt’s head into the mat. An attempt at a belly to back superplex is countered into a cross body (which Cole calls a bulldog because Cole is an idiot) for two. NOW a bulldog gets two. Middle rope legdrop gets two. Twist of Fate and Playmaker are countered. Side Effect gets two for Matt. A cradle gets two for the champ but the big boot misses in the corner. This is getting good. They go to the corner and MVP gets a running boot to the chest. Playmaker ends this clean.

Rating: B-. Good solid opener here which is what they needed to go with. The Cruiserweight have a match later but sometimes it’s nice to have a more serious title defense to start things off. The matches these two had usually worked but the problem was getting to these matches with all the wasted time in between.

Dusty Rhodes says he’s ready for Orton. It’s a bullrope match and I have no idea why it’s occurring. It’s way too late for the Legend Killer thing I’d think. Dusty talks about everyone that came before Orton and respect and all that jazz. He tells a story about a cow and a bull and makes noises.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

It’s a five man match but remember that this is a Cruiserweight Open, as in anyone can get in on this. Chavo is champion coming in. This is the dying days of the title as this was thrown on the card yesterday with no story. They did these kind of matches for probably a year. Hornswoggle is on the floor and hides under the ring. Chavo tries to run but gets thrown outside instead. This is one fall to a finish.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with anything so the whole thing is pretty all over the place. Chavo comes back in and Cole talks about his Latina wife. Shannon gets two on Chavo but Funaki hits a cross body onto both of them for a combined two. Powerslam gets two for Noble but Chavo breaks it up again. Chavo hooks some freaky rollup on Yang and transitions into a half crab but it gets broken up by Funaki.

Moore slams Funaki into the buckle HARD. Noble vs. Moore now. Make that Noble vs. Funaki. See what I mean about how there’s no point in trying to call this? Funaki gets an enziguri for two on Moore. Gory Bomb to Funaki gets two for the champ. Almost everyone goes to the floor so Yang sets for a dive. Chavo stops it and it’s Tower of Doom time. Noble is down and here’s Horny to come off the top with a Tadpole Splash to win the title.

Rating: C-. Like I said there’s only so much you can do in these. The ending is totally legal when you think about it: he’s certainly small enough and it was an Open so anyone can enter at any time right? This wasn’t anything great but it was very clear that the title was done. And no it wasn’t Horny that killed it. The belt was long since dead.

HHH returns at Summerslam.

Video on Lashley’s career, including his amateur stuff. They’re pushing him hard as the uncrowned champion.

Carlito vs. Sandman

This is a Singapore Cane on a Pole match. For some reason that absolutely no one is quite sure of, Sandman got a midcard push on Raw for a few weeks in 2007. Carlito spits the apple in Sandman’s face to tick him off. You win by pinfall or submission here. Sandman works on the arm to take him down. That’s not exactly what I was expecting but ok then. Both go for the cane and both fail. A dropkick puts Sandy down but Sandman stops a climb attempt. That gets repeated a few times as this needs to end quickly. Sandman gets the cane and walks into a Backstabber for the pin. Carlito never touched the cane.

Rating: F. This was on a PPV. Why in the world did this exist? Like I said I still don’t get the point of Sandman’s time on Raw and I don’t think anyone else did either. Allegedly there’s a point to this feud but they didn’t really bother telling us what it was. Boring match and no point to being here at all.

Orton says he’s glad Dusty is in a good mood. Todd Grisham is almost as tall as Orton. Randy brags about how Shawn can’t even remember that today is his birthday after he punted Shawn in the head. A Punt is promised for Dusty as well.

Women’s Title: Candace Michelle vs. Melina

Candace has the title coming in here. I’m still not sure if I liked Candace or not. She looked good but other than that, there’s nothing to her at all. Melina takes her to the mat and has furry boots. It looks pretty clear that we’re in the full on long Raw match format here. Candace hits a Hennig necksnap and they exchange some covers.

I’m not really paying attention to this on the grounds of it’s rather boring. Melina grabs the arm and this match continues to go nowhere. Candace fights back and oh my goodness I remember why I didn’t like her. She SUCKS at attacking. Top rope cross body gets two. Neckbreaker gets two for Melina as well as screams. Candace wins with a freaking standing bulldog of all things.

Rating: D-. This is pretty much the same result as the previous match: there’s no point in the match being here but this one had looks and Melina gyrations. The match didn’t mean anything and it was just a Raw match that went about twice as long. Thankfully Beth would win the title from Candance soon, as well as three years later when Kelly played the role of Candace in basically the exact same story.

Mania is coming to Orlando.

Matt and Jeff talk in the back when Candace comes up. She has a bottle of water and, ahem, adult, music comes on as she pours it over herself. Well at least they admit the girls are just eye candy. Ron Simmons comes up to say the line.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Jeff is challenging and that Candace scene was in place of a recap. Umaga immediately takes him down and they go to the floor. Jeff fights back but walks into a Samoan Drop which must be like learning to walk at the Samoan wrestling school. Umaga pounds him down and hooks a nerve hold. Jeff looks more like he’s coming down off a really bad trip. Must be a Sunday. And now it’s back to the nerve hold for a VERY long time.

Jeff gets up and tries a slam but guess how well that goes. Umaga crashes down onto Jeff’s chest and then does it again. This has been a squash so far. A middle rope headbutt misses and both of them are down. Out to the floor and there’s a plancha, thankfully by Jeff so that the plate tectonics don’t shift. A dropkick gets two for Jeff. The running hip bump in the corner misses and Jeff hooks a Twist of Fate for two.

The fans are way into this too which is always a good sign. Umaga charges and hits the ring post. There’s a Swanton but Umaga BARELY kicks out. That seems to wake Umaga up though so he throws Jeff around like a skinny man that owes him drug money. The corner hip shot and the Samoan Spike kill Jeff deader than an overdose on every drug known to man and we’re done.

Rating: C+. This was one of the opening steps in the process of Jeff’s rise to the world title a year and a half later. He would show signs of hammering away on Umaga but then he would come up short. Jeff would continue to rise up and get closer and closer to the big wins, even getting the Rumble title shot in January, before FINALLY winning the title in 18 months. Yes Virginia, there used to be world title pushes that lasted longer than two months.

Same kind of video on Cena that was shown on Lashley earlier.

ECW Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is freshly….well Morrison. He was Johnny Nitro forever and this is Punk’s second shot I think. This is a rematch from last month’s show which was supposed to be Benoit’s night but some stuff came up. Like murder and suicide. Anyway, this is happening because of Morrison wondering what Punk’s name means. The old ECW Title looks like a toy. Punk takes him to the mat and they fight over the arm.

Slingshot suplex gets two for Punk. Monkey flip out of the corner sends Morrison flying and we go outside. Morrison takes over out there and shoots the half for two in the ring. GTS is countered and Morrison takes him down for two. Wheelbarrow slam gets two. Up to the corner they go but Morrison gets dropped to the floor and a cross body off the top puts both guys down.

Morrison rolls him up but grabs the rope so it doesn’t count. Punk fires off kicks for two and the knee in the corner looks to set up the bulldog but Morrison counters and tries to walk out. Punk makes the stop and tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into a kick for the pin. That was a quick ending.

Rating: C+. Another pretty good match here but not a classic. Punk wasn’t quite a master of his craft yet but he would be world champion in a year if my memory is right. Not bad but again, it was really just an extended TV match. That being said, the ECW Title might as well have just been a title defended on TV anyway. It had no business on PPV for the most part.

We recap Orton vs. Rhodes. Rhodes had gone into the Hall of Fame earlier this year and is certainly a legend. Orton is a legend killer and one day he walked up to Rhodes. Cody tried to defend him but Randy slapped Dusty. Disrespect was mentioned and clearly you can see the connection from that to a cowbell and bullrope right? Do cowboys ever win those?

Randy Orton vs. Dusty Rhodes

This is the pinfall version instead of the touching all the corners version, making it a bit better. I can’t complain about hearing Common Man or whatever that song is called again. Randy doesn’t really want to get tied up to the rope and I can’t say I blame him. I think the bell rang and that this is counting. The problem is there’s a bell on the rope so it’s hard to tell. Blast it there’s the real bell. I was hoping we were almost half done.

Comedy to start as Dusty takes him down with the rope around his feet. Dusty elbows him down and crotches him with the rope. They go to the floor and Dusty misses a bell shot to the head against the post. There’s a long beating on the floor and back inside we go. Orton gets in a shot to the knee and here comes the booing. Orton hooks a long chinlock to fill in most of the match. Dusty comes back with the elbows but a bell to the head gets the pin for Randy.

Rating: D-. What in the world were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Dusty is an old man and he’s against a young superstar. That being said, at least they didn’t make this idiotic by doing something like making him a heel. I mean, can you imagine how stupid you have to be to make an old man attempt to be a big threat? I mean, can you imagine being intimidated of a guy in his early 60s?

And for those of you that don’t get basic sarcasm, I was making fun of TNA.

Cody blocks a punt post match.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Great Khali vs. Batista

Kane is a face here….I think. There was no video recap so how am I supposed to remember a story from four and a half years ago? Khali is champion and Batista kept wanting to slay the giant. The champ runs over both of them and chokes Batista down in the corner. Oh apparently Khali won the title three days earlier on Smackdown in a battle royal after Edge got hurt. I remember that. That must be why there was no backstory.

This has been ALL Khali so far. Both guys get nerve holds and chokeslams. Khali of course stops to pose. Out to the floor and Khali loads up the announce table. Kane tries a chokeslam through it and Batista tries the Bomb but both of them are easily broken up. They double team him and get a half spinebuster/half chokeslam through the table. That was kind of cool.

Kane hits a side slam for two back in the ring. Big Dave gets the same off a powerslam. He loads up a superplex but Kane knocks him off and hits the clothesline off the top. Here comes the chokeslam but Khali comes back and takes it instead. Batista and Kane go to the floor and the Big Bald goes down. Back to Khali vs. Batista with Big Dave getting two off a spinebuster. Kane charges into the post and Batista tries the Bomb on him but gets backdropped. Chokeslam to Batista gets two. The next attempt hits but Khali pulls Dave out. Punjabi Plunge to Kane keeps the title on Khali.

Rating: C-. I know a lot of people are going to bash this match but the idea here is simple: everyone is a monster so what’s the point in trying anything other than their biggest moves? They’re not going to work so just stick with the big stuff. Fun match but not exactly a technical masterpiece. Still decent, all things considered though.

HHH is still coming back at Summerslam. Nothing has changed with that.

Here’s Booker with Sharmell. He says HHH isn’t the King of Kings because he’s the only King. Speaking of which, Jerome, why are you wearing a crown? Booker demands an explanation and the surrendering of said crown. Lawler says come get it. Booker calls this treason and then leaves with Sharmell. I’m assuming this is a Raw story now?

They really try to hype up Cena vs. Lashley as a dream match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley

They fight over a lockup to start and Cena is shoved into a corner. Lashley takes him down with a test of strength but Cena comes back to booing. He’s been champion for ten months here so the fans aren’t that thrilled with him. Lashley takes over with the power game but Cena counters into an STFU attempt so Lashley runs. Basically this is a chess match as both guys try to get ahead but neither is being very aggressive.

Lashley grabs a release t-bone suplex for two. He might be bleeding just a bit. Cena gets whipped into the corner and a delayed suplex gets two. Cena grabs a suplex of his own out of nowhere for a very delayed two. Lashley gets a modified gutbuster to mess up Cena’s ribs and it’s down to a body vice. JR and King turn into idiots by saying they can’t remember any opponent with Lashley’s amateur credentials challenging Cena.

Cena fires off a pair of ProtoBombs and the Shuffle for two. FU is easily escaped and a powerslam gets two. Lashley hooks a torture rack and then drops him into what we would call Shock Treatment. Out of nowhere Cena hits an FU but can’t cover. Lashley’s spear attempt is countered into the STFU and the place pops. Weird crowd man. Lashley FINALLY gets a rope and this is getting good.

John complains to the referee about….something, and walks into a BIG spear for two. The fans are way into this too. They go to the corner and Lashley loads up something that appears to be a superplex, but Cena counters into a somewhat weak FU off the middle rope for the pin. That ending came out of nowhere, kind of.

Rating: B+. It’s an excellent match and they were getting close to the heavyweight slugfest format but they weren’t able to get there with it ending like that. It needed a lot more near falls. Anyway, the match was good, although Lashley never really reached this level again afterwards. He would be “injured” by Kennedy 8 days later and hasn’t set foot in a WWE ring since as far as I remember.

Overall Rating: C+. This show worked pretty well and was a fairly solid B-level PPV with a very good main event. However, the rest of the card isn’t all that great. It’s not all that bad either so I’d call this show fine overall. It’s nothing that you’re going to want to go out of your way to see again, but the main event is good and while some of the matches are bad, they’re the shortest ones. Decent show and the best overall in this series so far.

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Is there any reason for this? My take:

If you’ve read my review of the show, the answer seems to be that Ryder is the guy that got over on his own and that’s not what the company wants.  Unless this is a real injury, I don’t see any need for it.  He got put in the horrible storyline with Eve who does nothing but complain to Cena and look good in shorts.  Ryder has gone from the hottest thing in wrestling to a pawn in a Cena storyline to tide him over until Mania.  Think about that for a minute.

Thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 2012
Location: US Airways Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s actual emotion from Ace, I’m kind of curious as to what happens tonight. The Rumble is in six days and they’ve seemingly only built up to the actual match on Smackdown. That being said, it’s the Royal Rumble so it’s not like it needs much build. It’s a 30 man battle royal with an obvious prize to the winner. That’s not hard to sell. Let’s get to it.

We open things up with the champ. He sits down in the ring and talks about how this Sunday is the Rumble and a big WWE Title match is on the card. Ziggler claims that he’s beaten Punk three times this month, and that’s because he has. Now granted, all of those had Ace helping him but he has indeed beaten him three times. Punk calls Ace a failure, which he knows is true after looking it up on Wikipedia.

We get a clip from the end of the show last week. Punk is a little worried about Ace promising to screw him. However, what exactly can Ace do with two broken arms? Punk calls him out but when there’s no GM, Punk says he’s going after him. Cue….Cena? Cena looks ticked off. He says he was sick of hearing Punk ramble. He’s out here for business, not to talk. Cena demands Ace is here in a few moments to atone for his sins with Ryder last week. Also he wants a match tonight with Kane before his match at the Rumble. Cena also says Ace will resign. Now that’s something new.

Cena looks at the ramp and Punk says Ace needs to be here because of the people. Cue Ace who talks about having days where we wish we could change things. Last week wasn’t one of those days though. Punk calls Ace down to the ring and it’s the whole “I don’t work for you” line from Ace. Ryder is cleared to compete tonight and gets Kane tonight in a falls count anywhere match. If Cena gets involved, Ryder will never get a US Title rematch. Ace makes the tag team match against Ziggler/Swagger and it starts RIGHT NOW.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. John Cena/CM Punk

The bad guys promise vengeance before the match. The bell is after a break. Ziggler vs. Cena gets us going. Punk is in long black shorts here which is a new look for him. Well technically as those are what he wore in ROH. Cena hits the running bulldog to start and here’s Punk. Ziggler bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with the starters and Ziggler speeding things up a bit and strutting.

Cena takes over and struts as well. Off to Swagger who takes it to the mat with a double chickenwing. Cena snaps off a suplex but Dolph makes the save with a dropkick. He drops a bunch of elbows and does the situps spot. Swagger Bomb gets two. Ace is texting or tweeting or whatever. Jack puts on a bearhug but Cena fires off an AA out of nowhere. Cena is so weakened though that he can only tag out.

Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline on Ziggy and he busts out his usual stuff. He sticks his tongue out like Jordan but the GTS is countered. High kick gets two as Swagger saves. Everything breaks down and Swagger gets the ankle lock on the floor but Cena reverses into the STF. Punk goes up but Ace distracts him. Punk threatens to him him and Ziggler rolls him up with a handful of tights for the pin at 11:10.

Rating: C+. Decent main event style tag match here with them playing up the idea of Ziggler getting the title via a screwjob. Cena and Swagger were just kind of there really but they kind of had a story to them so it made sense. Not a great match or anything but it was better than most of the recent main event tags.

Punk says this changes nothing because on Sunday, Ace will screw him and Punk will beat him up. Punk says since Ace likes giving Ziggler presents, he’ll give Ace a chance. For one night only, Ace should be a superstar. Tonight: Punk vs. Ace. He accepts and the fans cheer.

Jericho will be in the Highlight Reel next.

We get a clip from Jericho walking out last week.

Here’s Jericho for the Highlight Reel. He’s officially in the Rumble according to Lawler. Jericho picks up the mic and asks for silence. Nothing said yet. He puts the mic up to his mouth twice but he has an idea. He gets out of the ring and runs up to the stage, asking for one second. Jericho goes into the back and comes back with a t-shirt cannon and ammo. He doesn’t shoot any shirts but steals the camera which we get shots from.

Back to the mic again and once more he asks for silence. He points at the Jeritron 5000 and we get the Millennium Countdown and a highlight package of his career, including winning the Undisputed title. The fans cheer once it’s over but there are some boos in there too. HE SPEAKS! I’ve never heard a bigger pop for the word “This Sunday at the Royal Rumble”. He says that this Sunday, it’s going to be the end of the world as you know it. And that’s it. The lights go out, the jacket goes on, and we go to a break.

We get a WWE Rewind from September with the Hugh Jackman show.

We now get one of my favorite things of the year: the It’s All About The Numbers promo for the Rumble. I love these things.

31 Hall of Famers in Rumbles
21 Wrestlemania main events for those Hall of Famers
695 participants in total
39 eliminations for Shawn Michaels, the most everything
35 eliminations for Kane, the second most all time
194,107 pounds total, or 430 Big Shows
421,883 fans have seen the Rumbles
62:12 is the record amount of time in the Rumble, set by Mysterio
3 wins for Austin, the record
2 seconds, as in the record held by Warlord for over 20 years
1 second, Santino’s record breaking mark
2 women in the Rumble
#1 is the entrant that has produced the same amount of entrants as #30
27 is the lucky number, with four winners
55% have gone on to win their Mania match, dating back to 1993

Ryder is with Eve when Foley comes up. He says Kane is an animal, but he’s just a human being. And Foley is serious bro. Eve is worried and tries to call it off. Cena pops up to a mixed reaction. He says he’s got Ryder’s back if needed but Ryder says stay out of it so Ryder can get his rematch. He’s not mean about it though.

Zack Ryder vs. Kane

Falls count anywhere so Ryder isn’t so thrilled. He still has bad ribs/back too. Ryder goes right for him which is better than he’s done lately. Kane kicks him off the apron where Ryder’s face slams into the table. His back goes into the post and there’s a slam outside. Ryder goes back first into the steps and this has been domination. Eve is at ringside now and this isn’t going to end well. Back into the table again and we take a break.

Back and the beating continues on the floor. A whip into the barricade gets two. Here’s the smother and the referee asks what Ryder says. Well they’re not paid for their intelligence. Out into the crowd now and they go up by the tech area. Ryder hasn’t has any offense in about 8 minutes. Oh wait there’s a shot with a metal case. This is no DQ apparently. Back to the ramp now and Kane kicks him in the ribs.

Ryder goes head first into the WWE logo and a piece of it breaks off. That only gets two and Kane isn’t sure what to do here. A headbutt puts Ryder down as the fans chant for Zack. A few punches by Ryder don’t get him anywhere. And Ryder is chokeslammed through the stage. Ok then. The match just ends. Kane goes after Eve but Cena comes out and Kane runs into the crowd. Match ran roughly ten minutes.

Rating: D. You know I’m really getting ticked off at how they’re treating Ryder. He might as well have been Barry Horowitz out here with how much offense he got in. The guy comes up with a brand new character, makes WWE a bunch of money they wouldn’t have gotten in merchandize sales, and has now been treated like a rag doll by Kane multiple times, making him look like any other guy. I can’t stand this company at times.

Back from a break and Ryder is put on a stretcher. He’s put in an ambulance and Eve, that whiny little pest, says this is all Cena’s fault. Josh Matthews picks NOW to put a mic in Cena’s face. Cena slaps it out of his hands and is very ticked off.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

This is their 5th match and Sheamus has never lost. There was a tag match in there too. Barrett, as in the guy Sheamus should be feuding with with no Mahal involved, comes out for commentary. There are the ten forearms. Mahal hits a running knee to the face to take over with a cobra clutch. Well kind of. It’s closer to a Tazmission. Screw it: it’s a chinlock. Sheamus gets up and the Brogue Kick ends this at 3:10.

Rating: D. Sheamus is probably my current favorite wrestler but I have no interest in seeing him against Mahal ever again. I mean…we get it. Sheamus can destroy Mahal at will. It’s now just a challenge of how fast can he do it anymore. Why is Mahal even in this at all? Why isn’t it Sheamus vs. Barrett?

Anyway, Sheamus invites Barrett in but Barrett says no. Sheamus says he’ll win the Rumble.

Miz says that Truth will be repeating history because every partner he’s had has been destroyed. Truth comes up and says he’s a marketing analyst and declares Miz the #1 guy in being boring, uninteresting and making people ask What Else Is On. Truth also thinks his name is Fleischer. Ace comes up and breaks them up. The loser of the match is #1 in the Rumble.

Orton is back on Friday.

William Regal is on commentary for this next match due to his dancing on Friday.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

Brodus is in a white suit now. I’m assuming Regal will be his first feud. Slater gets run over to start. Heath gets the first notable offense in against Clay: a dropkick. And never mind as Slater is run over, suplexed and What The Funk ends this in 55 seconds.

Rumble Moment: Taker wins from #30.

R-Truth vs. The Miz

The loser is #1 in the Rumble on Sunday. Cole says that two men have gone from #1 to win the Rumble. I’d LOVE to hear someone ask who those people are. This is much more of a brawl than a match. They go to the floor quickly and then back inside. Miz drops him on the floor and we take a break. Back with Miz hitting something for two.

Off to an abdominal stretch which Truth escapes. He starts his comeback with a nice rolling victory roll for two. Backslide gets two but Miz hits the Reality Check for two. He loads up the Finale but Truth rolls through it. Little Jimmy is countered and a short DDT gets two. And out of nowhere a Little Jimmy gets the pin at 8:13. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: D+. These two just don’t have good chemistry together. I remember them having a match I believe the Fatal Fourway PPV a few years back and it was simply dreadful. These are guys that are far better on the mic than in the ring, which becomes a problem after awhile. Not horrible but pretty much just there.

We get a medical update on Ryder: he has a broken back. Oh geez they’re writing him off aren’t they. If this isn’t for a legit injury, I don’t think I’ll have ever been more annoyed.

Ace is warming up. It’s 10:54 and he’s in his office. Otunga pops up with a fax and says it can’t wait. Ace isn’t happy with it, whatever it says.

It’s 10:59, so let’s run down the card for Sunday!

CM Punk vs. John Laruinaitis

And there’s no Ace. Oh wait here he is and we hear about his resume from All Japan, said by name. Otunga is here too. Ace says he got a fax from the board of directors. Otunga reads it and it says the board is concerned about his activities as interim GM of Raw. His status as interim GM is officially under review. Next week he’ll get a formal job evaluation to determine if he keeps his job or is terminated. HHH is giving the job evaulation.

Punk is very happy and says that means he won’t get screwed. Ace calls it a wakeup call and says this is all a misunderstanding. Foley is in the Rumble and he was always going to call the title match down the middle. Punk calls Ace a little girl that gets everything all year long but at Christmas she’s afraid of getting coal. He wants Ace to be fired. Ace says that won’t happen. No match of course.

Otunga will be subbing so he jumps him. There was no bell. Punk takes him down and Vices him. Ace backs away and Punk has a mouse under his eye. There’s a high kick to Otunga and Ace backs off again. He offers a handshake but walks into a GTS. Ziggler runs in and gives him the Zig Zag to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t work at all and that’s because most of this was about taking out the new guy that got popular in a hurry on his own. I mean seriously, a broken back? If it’s as bad as it sounds, that’s probably what, back by April at the very best? Barring a legit injury, why in the world would you take away the second or third most popular guy on Raw? I hope there’s more to it than that, because if not then they’re idiots at a level even I didn’t expect. Bad show and I don’t think they realize the Rumble is Sunday.

Results
Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger b. CM Punk/John Cena – Rollup to Punk with a handful of tights
Kane vs. Zack Ryder went to a no contest when Kane chokeslammed Ryder through the stage
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Brogue Kick
Brodus Clay b. Heath Slater – What The Funk
R-Truth b. The Miz – Little Jimmy

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 22, 1998
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 10,891
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is the go home show for the King of the Ring and the first set of KOTR matches, so we’ll have four of those tonight. Other than that expect more as far as the C-o-n-spiracy and the whole fallout from that. We also have Kane and Mankind vs. an Outlaw apiece. This looks like a very standard go home show, so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Taker destroying Bearer. Kane will break his silence tonight.

Theme song.

The Cell is above the ring again.

Here’s Vince to open the show. He brings out the next WWF Champion, Kane. Bearer is watching on satellite. The fans immediately chant for Austin. Vince says this will be the greatest day of Kane’s life on Sunday. Kane has apparently requested a special kind of match. There’s no pin, submission, DQ or countout. It’s first blood. Vince wants to know how confident Austin is. Kane (who hasn’t said anything until now) says that if he doesn’t win the title, he’ll set himself on fire. I can’t help but laugh at this.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Ken Shamrock vs. Mark Henry

The Nation is sent out again as they’ve been for the last few weeks. Shamrock makes Henry miss and fires off the kicks. He walks into a powerslam to take him down though. Legdrop gets no cover for Henry, which is chalked up to a rookie mistake by JR. Henry hooks on a bearhug and then a splash to the back of Kenny. Back to the bearhug. Shamrock tries to come back with a sunset flip but Henry drops down onto him. And now bearhug #3. FEEL THE ELECTRICITY BABY!!! Shamrock fights back and manages to hit the rana, sending Mark to the floor. Vader runs out and drills Henry. Belly to belly by Shamrock wins this.

Rating: D+. Henry somehow didn’t get any better for about 12 years. I mean dude, by the laws of averages and muscle memory you would think that somehow he would get better. That belly to belly was pretty impressive. Shamrock had a lot of talent but was only going to be an upper midcarder at best given the way his character went. Plus injuries on top of that.

Edge is in the audience.

X-Pac vs. Dustin Runnels

Dustin, the newly religious man, offers a handshake but gets a crotch chop for his efforts. The move known as the X-Factor takes him down but it doesn’t mean much yet. Dustin crotches him to counter a bulldog but Pac sends him to the floor. Chyna hits him low and momentum shifts again. Pac hits some of those very fast legdrops of his. I’ve always liked those. Off to a chinlock and we talk about how Austin could make Kane bleed. Dustin makes a comeback and a cross body gets two. One armed suplex gets the same. He loads up the bulldog but Chyna trips him. Pac kicks his head off for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s amazing how much less annoying Sean Waltman is when he’s against someone who isn’t a giant. Dustin is a good sized guy but they didn’t have to make him look like an idiot here to have Pac beat him. That’s what gets on my nerves about small guys like Pac and Mysterio: if they’re fighting giants, the giants have to look like idiots for the small guy to win. This has nothing to do with the match. I’m just kind of rambling now.

Pac won’t shake his hand again post match.

We talk to Bearer at his home in….wherever it is. He promises to be at Kane’s side on Sunday.

Here’s Jerry Lawler to rant about Al Snow some more. Snow has apparently stolen the cleaning lady’s dress. Jerry has some papers for Snow, and here comes Snow out of the crowd in a dress. Head has the King’s Crown. Jerry offers a meeting with Vince for the crown. Lawler gets the crown back and Snow is handed a contract, signed by Vince McMahon. Snow and Head have to team up and face Too Much at King of the Ring. If they win, Snow gets his meeting with Vince.

Snow drops to the mat and says pin me and pay me. Why wait until the PPV apparently? Jerry calls out Too Much but Snow pops up and beats them up with Head.

Edge is now sitting on the stage.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Marc Mero vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett knocks him to the floor quickly as the fans are cheering for Sable. There’s a gag order on the Sable issue which translates to me that they have no idea what they’re doing with the story but they have to have her back. Mero powerbombs Jarrett and hits a moonsault press for two. He might have hurt his knee jumping but still manages a small package for two. Jackie trips Jarrett and Tennessee Lee goes after her. That lets Mero hit Jeff low and hit the TKO but there’s no referee. Cue Sable for a distraction and Jarrett grabs a DDT to advance.

Rating: C-. Match was okayish but this was about Sable. I don’t think they ever actually revealed what the reason was for her coming back, but that’s par for the course in this ear. Anyway, decent match and a weird thing to see Jarrett as the face in one of these, especially after that character totally bombed as a face for the Horsemen.

Jarrett says he’s seen the light and will be king.

Kane vs. Road Dogg

I don’t see this lasting long. Billy is sent to the back. Roadie tries to stick and move but there’s too much Kane. A big boot puts Road Dogg down and there’s the smother that Kane has been using on Cena lately. Road Dogg takes a beating but manages to get in some punches and a clothesline to send him to the floor. And never mind as Kane takes over again quickly. Chokeslam is loaded up but Roadie hits him low….to no effect. The chokeslam hits and Tombstone finishes.

Rating: D. Just an extended squash here but it made Kane look unhurtable going into the match on Sunday. That’s the point of this and it also pushes the tag title match which is coming eventually. See how easy it can be to efficiently book a show? Why don’t people get that more often?

Bearer talks about the Conspiracy and Taker wanting to shut him up last week. Screams are heard and Taker comes in and destroys Bearer again. Various stuff is destroyed and the feed cuts out.

And now, it’s time.

Edge vs. Jose Estrada

All that is known about Edge is that he’s a tortured soul from Toronto. He comes in through the crowd and Estrada jumps him. Edge comes back with a spear and sends him to the floor. Edge hits a flip dive over the top onto Estrada….and breaks Estrada’s neck, putting him out for months. Edge wins by countout. The replay shows that Edge’s leg landed on the top of Jose’s head. It only lasted about 30 seconds.

And that’s how Edge debuted.

Kane is freaking in the back as Foley tries to calm him down. There’s a buzz from Kane’s voicebox.

Jose is taken out on a stretcher. Based on the replay, it’s hard to say who’s at fault. When you flip forward like that, it’s hard to control where you land. Probably a combination of both.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Dan Severn vs. Owen Hart

Severn is in that t-shirt of his. He spears Owen down and you know he wants it on the mat. The American hits a German on the Canadian but gets caught in an enziguri. Fisherman’s suplex gets two for Owen. Severn comes back but gets caught in a neckbreaker. Owen rolls outside and grabs a chair. Severn grabs it and in the distraction, X-Pac comes in and cracks a chair on Owen’s back. Severn’s submission ends this. Too short to rate but the match was fine.

The Nation runs Severn off.

Post break Rock calls out DX for a fight and here they come. Remember that it’s still HHH vs. Rock in the tournament later. DX comes out but suits hold them back.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: HHH vs. The Rock

Just Chyna out there with either person. Winner gets Severn at the PPV. Rock takes over to start and hammers HHH down. He ducks his head though and HHH grabs a swinging neckbreaker. HHH takes over and drops the Flair Knee for two. Rock takes over and hits a suplex for two. There’s the People’s Elbow but HHH kicks out. Rock punches HHH, HHH punches Rock, HHH hits the facebuster to take over. Rock sends him to the floor but as he poses, Chyna DDTs him for two. They trade sleepers and Chyna tries to interfere for some reason. The distraction lets Rock hit a low blow and win with a fisherman’s suplex.

Rating: D+. How was that 8 minutes long? Usually the rule of thumb I use is that each paragraph of text is about four minutes of video. How in the world was this an 8 minute matches? It was mainly punching for one thing and nothing at all stands out about it. Definitely one of the weakest I can remember from these two, but their big one is coming.

DX and the Nation run out and it’s a big brawl.

Here’s the semi-finals for the KOTR:

Shamrock
Jarrett

Severn
Rock

Kane is still freaking out. Mankind says stay here because he has to go have a match.

Mankind vs. Billy Gunn

Mankind talks about being a history fan and having a picture of men from Gettysburg near his bed. As he’s talking about this, the Cell is lowered. The story was about time healing all wounds, but he doesn’t want to heal the wounds with Taker after what Taker did to Paul Bearer last week. They’re not going to prosecute him though because it’s a family matter on Sunday at the PPV.

Here’s Billy and the Cell is still down. All Mankind to start including the running knee in the corner. He takes Billy to the mat with a body scissors and the Cell is up. Billy tries to fire off some punches and they go to the floor. Chyna’s interference doesn’t really work at all. She gets ejected and they stay on the floor. Billy drops him onto the railing and into the post but it doesn’t really do anything. Billy dropkicks the steps into Mankind’s face and hammers away but Mankind keeps getting up. Fameasser (called the Rocker Dropper) doesn’t do anything and a piledriver is countered. Mandible Claw ends this.

Rating: D. The problem here was that the ending was inevitable. I mean, did anyone think Billy Gunn was going to win this? The match just went on and wasn’t all that interesting at all. The Outlaws were good at just about everything, except for that whole having matches thing. They were more of an act than a team, which makes things like this a bit annoying.

Mankind can’t find Kane.

Here’s Sable of all people with about 5 minutes left in the show. She brings out Austin in the white baseball jersey which never really worked for him. He wants Sable to go flip Vince off for him. Austin looks around for anyone wanting a fight and then accepts Kane’s challenge. In one of the funniest lines I can ever remember, Austin says if Kane lights himself on fire, he’ll be there with marshmallows, hot dogs and beer and we’ll have a big campfire. Here comes Kane but blood flows from the ceiling onto Austin. Now the white shirt makes more sense. Kane says on Sunday the blood will be real.

Overall Rating: D+. I really didn’t like this one as much as I did last week’s. This was more about getting all of the things that we had to get done before Sunday done. The lack of Vince has been hurting the shows as he’s only been in the opening segments lately. The wrestling here continues to be weak, but seeing Edge debut, even though it was shot, was very cool.

Here’s King of the Ring if you’re interested:

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