ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 15, 2008
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 17,422
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re over in England this week as the European tour is on. In this case, we have a special main event as the Brothers of Destruction are here. That alone should be enough to carry the show, as there is little to care about other than one or two stars. Maybe they have something else to help it out, because the show needs it. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a preview of the show, which in this case means Undertaker/Kane vs. Miz/John Morrison. Well that ups the star power.

Opening sequence.

Tazz tells us that this is Joey Styles’ last night on the show as he is going on to head up WWE.com. We meet the new play by play announcer: Mike Adamle. Oh boy.

CM Punk/Kofi Kingston/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Elijah Burke/Deuce N Domino/Shelton Benjamin

Well it’s different. Domino and Punk start things off with Punk taking over. Moore comes in with a sunset flip and starts on the arm, as the good guys get to take their turns. Yang hits a dropkick and lands on Domino for two before it’s back to Punk. Benjamin comes in and gets kicked in the face as everything breaks down on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Burke missing an elbow to Punk, allowing Kofi to come in for an armbar. The rapid fire tags continue as it’s off to Moore to stay on the arm. Burke comes in and uppercuts Yang to take over, setting up the running crotch attack to the back of the head. Benjamin and Deuce put on a chinlock each before Domino drops a leg. A backdrop gets Yang out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Kingston to clean house. Everything breaks down and Trouble In Paradise finishes Deuce (who had tagged in) for the win.

Rating: C+. This match got some time and picked up steam as it kept going. What mattered here was keeping Kingston strong as ECW is certainly protecting him. With Punk pretty clearly not long for the minor show, fresh talent is going to be needed. Kingston is getting better in his spot so maybe he could do some good in the future.

We look back at Chavo Guerrero and his lackeys beating up Kane, including his new bald enforcer.

Kane promises revenge on Chavo, but tonight it’s about the Brothers of Destruction.

And now, a Diva Dance Off, featuring Layla, Maryse, Eve, Lena Yada and Kelly Kelly. Tazz, the emcee, demonstrates a bit of dancing (or kind of jiggling in his case) before everyone gets to go. Shockingly Layla and Eve, the former professional dancers, blow everyone else away but Kelly, the only one to remove clothing, wins. Post contest, Kelly and Tazz dance together in a funny moment.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox

Colin Delaney is here with Dreamer. Hold on though as here is Armando Estrada to change things up.

Colin Delaney vs. Mike Knox

Dreamer is sent to the back. Total destruction with Knox hitting a swinging Downward Spiral for the pin in about a minute.

Miz and John Morrison say they’re a real team while Undertaker and Kane are always fighting each other. Morrison is even willing to let Miz start the match!

Miz/John Morrison vs. Kane/Undertaker

Non-title. Kane shoulders Miz down to start and sends him shoulder first into the corner. Undertaker comes in to punch the shoulder, setting up Old School. Morrison breaks up the apron clothesline with a legdrop though and we take a break. Back with Morrison striking away at Undertaker in the corner, only to have Undertaker show him how it’s done.

Morrison gets struck in the face a few times, allowing Kane to come in with a side slam to Miz. A Morrison distraction lets Miz get in a chop block though and Morrison comes in to crank on the knee. Miz hammers away until an uppercut and big boot give Kane a breather. That’s enough for Undertaker to come in and really take over, including Snake Eyes into the big boot. Double chokeslams set up the Tombstone to finish Morrison.

Rating: C. This is a good example of “it was what it was” as Kane and Undertaker ended up decimating the champs in the end. Miz and Morrison got in a bit of offense on Kane but there is no way to buy this working when things evened up. It’s also no shame to lose to a pair of monsters with success of their own like Undertaker and Kane, so Miz and Morrison could have come out looking worse.

The Brothers posing with their titles is a great visual to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Pretty skippable show, but then again it felt like it was more for the live fans than anything else. ECW really needs to develop some new names and right now it seems to be Kane and Kofi Kingston leading the charge. Kane is fine, but Kofi has a long way to go but the potential is there. This week was more or less a spectacle though and it was an easy enough way to burn through about forty five minutes.

 

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 8, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We are still starting the new reality around here, with Kane as the ECW Champion and CM Punk as the star who is way too big for this show. Other than that, we have the continuing adventures of Colin Delaney, who is still trying to get a contract. That hasn’t been going well for him and odds are it doesn’t get better this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Miz vs. CM Punk

John Morrison is on commentary. Punk grabs a headlock to start and runs him over with a shoulder to start. Back up and Miz hits his own shoulder, only to have his leg tied up for some hard cranking. Punk gets sent outside though and Miz drives him back first into the apron. Morrison gets caught interfering and gets ejected as Miz grabs a chinlock.

We take a break and come back with Miz snapping Punk’s throat across the middle rope for two. Punk gets out of the double arm crank without much trouble but Miz pulls him into a reverse chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown, followed by Punk making the comeback. The powerslam gives Punk two and it’s the running knee in the corner into the GTS for the pin on Miz.

Rating: C. Punk continues to feel like the biggest star in ECW but Miz has improved by leaps and bounds. He still isn’t exactly polished but he can wrestle a completely watchable match. You can see the effort that he has put in and it is starting to pay off. Just find some actual challenges to go after he and Morrison and you might be on to something.

Colin Delaney and Tommy Dreamer come up to Armando Estrada to ask about Delaney getting a contract. Estrada says sure….if Delaney can beat Dreamer tonight. Oh and if Dreamer goes easy on him in any way or loses, he’s fired. Neither seems pleased.

Here is Armando Estrada in the ring for the Kane/Chavo Guerrero contract signing at Backlash. Guerrero, with the Edgeheads, comes out first, with Kane following. Kane goes to sign first, but Chavo says that means signing away the title. That makes Kane laugh as he signs, but Chavo says he’ll have someone watching his back at Backlash. Cue a bald man in a suit to start the brawl, including a belt shot to Kane. The beatdown is on and Chavo frog splashes Kane through the table. Now Chavo signs.

Elijah Burke vs. Nunzio

Burke works on the arm to start and sends him face first into the apron to keep Nunzio rocked. A hard shot to the face sets up the running crotch attack to the back of Nunzio’s head. There’s a middle rope forearm into a release German suplex before an STO finishes Nunzio off. Total squash.

Kofi Kingston vs. Domino

No Deuce or Cherry here. Before the match, Kofi talks about having a good time in the ring and bringing the good vibrations. Domino even wrestles without his shirt to really make things different. Kofi slides between the legs and takes him down, setting up the armdrag into the armbar. It works so well that Kofi does it again before sending him into the corner. Domino manages a faceplant out of the corner (kind of a reverse powerbomb) for two, followed by a knee to Kofi’s face. The chinlock goes on but Kofi fights out and hits his jumping back elbow. Domino ducks a crossbody but charges into Trouble in Paradise for the pin.

Rating: C. Kofi is still building himself up but this was a win over a slightly bigger name. You need to do something like this over the months as Kingston needs to move up the ladder. He still needs a lot more than beating Domino, but you can tell that WWE is paying attention to him and sees something there.

Eve Torres is in the back with Kelly Kelly when Layla comes in. Layla says there is room for one Diva Search winner around here. She is the top Diva around here and Eve needs to learn that. This stuff continues to be bad.

Colin Delaney vs. Tommy Dreamer

Basically only the winner has a job and Armando Estrada is at ringside. Dreamer wrestles him to the mat to start and grabs a slam. The elbow misses though as they are firmly in first gear here. Delaney gets in a shot or two before low bridging Dreamer to the floor. There’s the slingshot dive and a slingshot hilo gets two on Dreamer back inside. Dreamer grabs some kind of a reverse suplex and avoids a missile dropkick to send Delaney crashing down. The Tree of Woe dropkick sets up the DDT to finish Delaney.

Rating: C-. There was a story here with Delaney wanting a contract and Dreamer having to beat him up despite not wanting to. The problem though is the Delaney matches are only so good as he can’t do much in the ring and is mainly getting squashed. Delaney got in a little more than usual here, but it is still only going so well. They need to go somewhere with this, as I don’t know how much fuel this version has left.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of a lackluster show here, as there is only so much that you can get out of this roster. Kane is a star and Kofi feels like he is on the way up, but then you have whatever is left of Elijah Burke, Chavo Guerrero and a somewhat out the door CM Punk. That isn’t going to make for the best show, with the hour long run time being this show’s saving grace.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XIV
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

You might notice that things have picked up a lot since last year. This can mainly be attributed to the influence of Vince Russo, who isn’t remembered all that fondly. While his later efforts didn’t exactly work out very well (that’s putting it mildly), his early work with this kind of talent around him was a major part of the turnaround in the Monday Night Wars, which will finally see Raw win a battle just two weeks after this show. Let’s get to it.

Chris Warren and the DX Band perform a hard rock version of America the Beautiful and the Star Spangled Banner. This is booed out of the building and was very poorly received both live and later, as it has been edited out of most versions of the show. That’s probably best all around.

The opening video focuses on the lack of tradition in Wrestlemania these days, but the tradition is all about the gold and that’s why everyone is here tonight.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission (Recon/Sniper), Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Brown/Henry), Nation of Domination (Faarooq/Mustafa), Legion of Doom 2000, Quebecers, Rock N Roll Express, Headbangers, Too Much, Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwinns, New Midnight Express

Los Boricuas are Savio Vega’s Puerto Rican street gang split into two teams here, the Truth Commission is a military group from South Africa, Chainz is a biker, the Nation now has Faarooq/Kama Mustafa/Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown, the LOD 2000 are the same guys and a surprise team, the Rock N Roll Express are a famous team from the south, Too Much is better known as Too Cool, the Disciples of Apocalypse are the Harris Twins (formerly known as the Blu Brothers) as bikers, Blackman is a karate expert and the New Midnight Express are Bombastic Bob Holly and Bodacious Bart Gunn in one of the worst ideas of this era.

Only a few teams get an entrance with the LOD coming out last (with Animal in shorts for the first time ever) as a surprise team with Sunny as their new manager. The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at next month’s In Your House XXI and if one member is eliminated his partner is eliminated as well. It’s a huge brawl to start and the fans are entirely behind the LOD. Vega and Perez are eliminated early with Perez having to be helped to the back.

Former Truth Commission member Kurrgan comes out to eliminate the Truth Commission and here’s Bradshaw’s former partner Barry Windham to eliminate Chainz and therefore Bradshaw. Brown/Henry and the Quebecers are eliminated. The other Nation team and the Rock N Roll Express are gone as well with the other Boricuas quickly following. Henry is still in there despite Brown being eliminated but who’s going to stop him?

The Headbangers are eliminated and Henry Godwinn dumps Henry. We’re down to the LOD, the Midnight Express, the Godwinns, Too Much and the DOA as they’re flying through the eliminations so far. There goes Too Much and things finally slow down a bit with eight total men to go. Hawk runs Henry over but Phineas eliminates Skull (partner of 8-Ball) to get rid of DOA. The bikers come back in anyway and throw out the Godwinns to get us down to the LOD and the Midnight Express.

Ever the poor sports, the Godwinns come back in with their metal buckets to knock the LOD silly and give the Express a chance. Animal rolls under the ropes to the floor, leaving Hawk to beat up both goons on his own. Animal comes back in to clean house and the Express is clotheslined out to give LOD the win at 8:13.

Rating: D+. Above all else, they kept this short. There was no standing around waiting to get rid of most of the teams and it makes for a much faster battle royal. Having the LOD return was a great way to wake up the crowd to start and has set a much better pace than the preview few years worth of opening matches. That’s already a good sign so maybe this one will work better. The new LOD wouldn’t work all that well but at least this was fun and quick.

Kevin Kelly and Honky Tonk Man tell us to CALL THE HOTLINE!

Clips of various media appearances that took place in Boston over the recent days. This would become a Wrestlemania tradition and always made the show feel more important.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Michinoku is defending and won the inaugural title late last year. Aguila is better known as Essa Rios and slaps hands with the champion to start. A quick spinwheel kick sends Taka out to the floor and Aguila follows him out with a moonsault to the outside. Taka kicks him outside as well and nails his signature running springboard dive to take over again.

A forearm to the mask (JR’s term, which is one of the only times I’ve heard that called accurately) staggers Aguila but he armdrags Taka off the top. The champ heads outside again and Aguila is right there with a corkscrew plancha for a big gasp from the crowd. Back in and Taka’s middle rope splash (quite the step down after the start to this match) hits knees but he comes back with a running kick in the corner. The Michinoku Driver is escapes but Aguila’s hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. Taka dropkicks him out of the air and now the Driver connects to retain Taka’s title at 5:55.

Rating: B-. This was another good choice to keep the show going as they didn’t even try to do anything aside from fly around the ring and pop the crowd. The light heavyweight division didn’t work very well but this was one of the best pairings they had. Simple idea here and they played it well without staying too long. Good stuff.

Gennifer Flowers (a player in a Bill Clinton scandal) interviewed the Rock earlier today. Yes it’s the Rock now, following one of the best character turnarounds in history. It was clear that Rocky wasn’t going anywhere so he was turned into the ultimate cocky jock who spewed one liners and had more charisma than he knew what to do with.

Flowers asks about Rock being the leader of the government but leader doesn’t suit him. Instead it should be ruler, and as ruler he feels that the homeless should stay away from his freshly mowed grass at his palatial estate in Miami. As for the judicial system, all Rock’s fans need to know is that Rock is judge and jury. Make that a hung jury of course, if you smell what he’s cooking. Some Monica Lewinsky jokes take us out. You might as well have just started printing the money with Rock’s face on it based on this segment.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

HHH is defending in this battle of the huge noses and he’s another guy who has been completely changed. He still has Chyna but now has joined D-Generation X and become a far more dangerous man. HHH and Owen have been feuding for months as fallout from Survivor Series 1997 (I’m going to assume you know that one and why Bret isn’t around anymore) and Chyna is going to be handcuffed to Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter to make sure this is one on one. Owen has a bad leg coming in.

Hart starts fast and scores with some early clotheslines and right hands in the corner followed by a standing hurricanrana for two. So much for the leg being badly damaged but he does seem a bit ginger. HHH sends him to the floor but Slaughter stops Chyna from interfering. Back in and a poke to the eye breaks up the Sharpshooter to give HHH control.

This works a bit better than last time as HHH’s offense has gotten a lot better in the last year. The jumping knee to the face gets two (JR describes it as negotiating a two count, which opens up a host of questions. Did he negotiate it with the referee? Owen? The guy in section 14 selling popcorn? And what did he have to give up for it?) and HHH finally starts going after the leg.

We hit a leg lock and Owen’s nose is bleeding. Owen fights back and crotches the champion against the post, followed by a missile dropkick for two. There’s a spinwheel kick for the same and Lawler is panicking. Owen tries an enziguri but messes up his ankle again to put both guys down. The Sharpshooter is kicked away but Owen falls face first into a low blow.

Lawler goes nuts wanting a DQ as he can just never bring himself to like a Hart. Now the Sharpshooter goes on but Chyna is able to pull HHH to the ropes. Nice job Slaughter. Chyna doesn’t think he did that well either and throws powder into his eyes. The blinded Slaughter (or the referee for that matter) doesn’t see her hit Owen low, setting up the Pedigree to retain the title at 13:27.

Rating: B. What a difference a year makes with HHH as he went from a slow, boring match with Goldust to a really good, fast paced match here with Owen. I never quite got why Hart kept losing and losing to HHH as you would think they might want to go somewhere with him as the last remaining Hart. At least he was a good opponent for HHH and we got a good match here.

Chyna beats up Slaughter to some nice applause post match. Slaughter was one of the worst authority figures in company history and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone who actually enjoyed him in the role.

Buy the new Austin shirt! I think they’ve got that one covered.

We recap Goldust/Luna vs. Marc Mero/Sable. This was an interesting feud as Mero is terribly jealous of Sable’s popularity but now he’s coming to her defense because Luna and Goldust have gone too far attacking her. Goldust is in a very strange place at this point as he’s starved for attention and is wearing mostly women’s clothing or various sexual attire. The video makes no secret of the fact that this is all about Sable.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

That’s Luna Vachon of course and the genders have to match here. The guys get things started and a headscissors sends Goldust crawling over to the corner. Luna wants Mero but gets Sable instead and immediately bails to the floor for a chase. It’s back to Goldust vs. Mero but Sable comes in for a superkick, much to Mero’s annoyance. Luna insists Goldust stay in, much to his annoyance.

Both guys try cross bodies and it’s Mero falling on top for two. The announcers keep talking about how amazing and tough Sable is for taking this match and it’s already annoying. We finally get the tag to Sable for the catfight with Luna but thankfully Sable starts kicking in the corner, including a big shot to Goldust. It’s back to the men with Mero’s slingshot splash hitting knees. That’s fine with Mero who hits Goldust low but can’t get the TKO (fireman’s carry into a cutter).

Mark flips out of a Curtain Call instead and hits (well mostly at least) a springboard moonsault press for two. Some heel miscommunication gives Marc another near fall and now the TKO connects but Luna breaks up the cover. Luna splashes Goldust by mistake and Sable powerbombs her for a very close two. Instead it’s the TKO for the pin on Luna at 9:11. They probably should have just ended it at the powerbomb.

Rating: C. The match was watchable enough albeit a bit messy, but they weren’t even trying to hide the fact that this was all about Sable. To be fair though, the crowd was going NUTS for her and she made the company a fortune going forward so this push was justified. Not a good match or anything but Sable was clearly a big star.

Mero celebrates like he got the pin in a perfect character move.

JR gets the schedule wrong and says we’re coming up on the Tag Team Title match but instead it’s Tennessee Lee (formerly known as Colonel Robert Parker, a pretty bad manager) in the ring. In a pretty worthless cameo, Lee introduces Jeff Jarrett who escorts Flowers to be guest ring announcer.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Rock is defending and the leader of the Nation of Domination. He actually gave Shamrock a title shot back at the Rumble where Shamrock got disqualified and the feud has continued from there. This included Rock BLASTING Shamrock in the face with a chair a few weeks back on Raw in a shot that would probably get him fired today. Rock has the Nation in his corner, minus Faarooq who Rock took the leadership from. If Rock gets disqualified here, he loses the title.

Shamrock starts fast with a pair of clotheslines to send Rock out to the floor. Back in and a kick puts Rock down, followed by a string of right hands to the face. Rock sends him into the steps to take over and the yet to be named People’s Elbow gets two. Ken comes right back and grabs a chair but shoves the referee down, allowing Rock to hit Shamrock in the face with the chair for two. That’s it for Rock’s control though as Shamrock pops up and scores with a powerslam, followed by the ankle lock for the submission at 4:48.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t work very well as it felt like an extended Raw match (yeah five minutes would be long on Raw at this point, especially for the midcard) instead of a big showdown. I know the popular idea would be to change the title here but they knew they had something special with Rock here and didn’t want to screw with it.

Then Shamrock beats up the Nation and puts the hold back on, meaning it’s a reversed decision to give the title back to the Rock. The champ, bleeding from the mouth, is stretchered out but makes sure to hold up the title because it’s still his. Shamrock is livid and beats Rock up even more on the bandstand.

We get the awesome Attitude promo that made the company feel much more real than it was before. A lot of the roster talks about their past accomplishments (Mero being a Golden Gloves champion, the Rock playing for the Miami Hurricanes, Faarooq’s success at Florida State etc.) with the final line of “This isn’t real? Try lacing my boots.”

Tag Team Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and this is a dumpster match (a casket match but with a dumpster) due to them putting Jack (formerly Mankind) and Charlie (Terry Funk) inside a dumpster and shoving them off the stage in February. The Outlaws (You better know them. They were Tag Team Champions in 2014) are growing in popularity every day, even though they’re pretty awful in the ring and completely anti-authority.

It’s a brawl to start and for once that’s the right move. The champs take over and send Funk (the announcers call him Funk more often than they call him Charlie so it’s good enough for me) into the dumpster but you have to get both guys inside and close the lid to win. Cactus tries his flip dive off the apron but only hits the dumpster. Terry gets out so the Outlaws take turns slamming the dumpster down on the challengers’ heads.

Cactus gets the Claw on Road Dogg (sporting a “Look Ma! No curse!” shirt, referencing the Armstrong family curse in a very nice touch) and Funk blasts Gunn in the head with a trashcan lid. Gunn gets crushed by a cookie sheet and now let’s bring in a ladder. Sure why not. Cactus and Gunn climb up and Dogg hits Funk into the ladder, knocking both of them into the dumpster in a huge crash and a big spot for this time period.

Funk gets powerbombed into the dumpster (JR freaks out over this happening to Funk at 53, but he’ll still be around EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER. That’s just not normal.) but Cactus and Gunn get out and take it to the back. They head into the kitchen with Dogg joining in on the beating. Funk gets to the back as well and steals a forklift, lifting the Outlaws into the air and dropping them into another dumpster for the win and the titles at 10:00.

Rating: B. I liked this way more than I should have as it’s a wild brawl but that’s a lot smarter than having these teams try to do a regular match. Cactus and Funk winning the titles together is a cool moment due to their past together and this worked really well. The Outlaws would join DX the next night as they regained the titles, but this was a solid brawl and the title change felt like it meant something.

In Your House XXI ad.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane and this is going to get a bit complicated. Paul Bearer had promised to destroy Undertaker and revealed that Undertaker had a brother named Kane, who had been horribly burned in a fire as a child, a fire that Bearer claimed Undertaker set. During the first Hell in a Cell match, Kane actually debuted and laid out Undertaker, seemingly setting up their first match. However, Undertaker vowed to his parents that he would never fight his brother.

Kane didn’t take this well and, after seemingly forming a bond with his brother, put Undertaker in a casket which he lit on fire at the 1998 Royal Rumble. That was enough for Undertaker, who returned a few weeks later, promising to face his brother at Wrestlemania XIV. This was one heck of a build and the perfect blend of drama and over the top insanity that made the era work. Now if only the match can live up to it.

Before we get to the match though, here’s baseball legend Pete Rose as guest ring announcer for one of the most infamous moments in Wrestlemania history. Rose goes full on heel, ripping on the Boston Red Sox for not being able to win the World Series. “I left tickets for Bill Buckner but he couldn’t bend over and pick them up. HOW BOUT IT?” The fans are ready to kill him but here’s Kane to do it for them. Kane tombstones Rose and is instantly the biggest hero in the building…..for about ninety seconds. Major credit to Rose here, who clearly got the idea of being a heel instantly and had a blast with this. He’ll be back.

Undertaker vs. Kane

The first of many. Undertaker begins his tradition of incredible Wrestlemania entrances, walking through a tunnel of torches held by cloaked druids. JR knows it’s going to be big and sums it up perfectly: “This ovation will be not of this world.” That’s nowhere near strong enough as the place comes unglued and with good reason. What an entrance, easily one of the best of all time.

They stare each other down and Undertaker hammers away to almost no effect. A big toss by the throat sends Undertaker into the corner but Kane charges into a boot to the face. Undertaker charges into a Tombstone attempt but gets dropped on his head in the corner. Kane knees Undertaker down in the corner before draping him ribs first across the top rope.

Undertaker gets back up and tries a big boot but winds up on Kane’s shoulders. The electric chair drop doesn’t work very well as Undertaker lands on his arms but it was a cool spot until then. Kane takes him to the floor and drops the steps on Undertaker’s back a few times. A suplex brings Undertaker back in and the backstory starts to fall apart. Kane was supposed to be in an asylum for most of his life but he knows how to suplex people? It doesn’t add up, which says a lot given how much else I’m supposed to buy about this story. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane pulls him up at two.

We hit the chinlock on Undertaker, stop for a clothesline break, and put it back on. After the better part of three minutes in the hold, Undertaker fights up and drops Kane over the top. The Taker Dive makes its Wrestlemania debut but Kane steps to the side, sending Undertaker crashing through the Spanish announcers’ table. Back in and Kane scores with the top rope clothesline for two.

They slug it out again and Kane grabs a Tombstone for two. Undertaker comes back with a good chokeslam and a Tombstone of his own…..for two. That might be the first time ever and the shock from the crowd implies that it is. A second tombstone gets two more and there’s a top rope clothesline. Kane sits up again so Undertaker gives him a third Tombstone and a regular cover for the pin at 16:58. Kane would have been up at 16:59.

Rating: D+. This is a tricky one to grade but the atmosphere and build carries this as far as it can go. The problem here is that chinlock. It just kills everything the match had going for it and looks so completely out of place. This would have been better as an all out war which they tried at times but it wound up being more of a wrestling match, which isn’t the right idea. The ending sequence helped and the power brawling was good, but this needed to be a war with weapons and violence all over the place, which it only was at times.

Now for the big question: did the right person win? The more I think about it, the more I think Undertaker should have lost here. It’s very rare to see a real argument for the Streak ending, but at this point it still wasn’t really a thing. The story makes more sense if Kane destroys Undertaker here and wins, but you could argue that Kane already destroyed Undertaker when he lit him on fire. If you can’t stop a man by lighting him on fire, pinning him for three seconds really doesn’t prove much. Still though, they both wound up fine with Kane being WWF World Champion in June.

Bearer comes in for some cheap shots, allowing Kane to lay Undertaker out with a chair and another Tombstone. Kane and Bearer leave but Undertaker sits up again.

Another Attitude spot, but this time with some legends talking about how amazing their days were. In their time, there were no flashing lights or moonsaults, no walking the top rope or pyrotechnics. Today though, the legends are the ones cheering. Another outstanding ad here as you can see that everything is changing.

We recap Austin vs. Michaels, which translates to a video on Mike Tyson, who is the real star of this show and the reason it was such a big deal. This is one of the best celebrity investments in company history and made the match.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Tyson, a member of D-Generation X, is guest enforcer referee, meaning he’s on the floor for most of the match. Michaels is defending after Austin won the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. We get the always cool tracking shots from the back to the entrances to make this feel even more special. Austin gets an incredible reaction as there’s just no way to hide the fact that he’s winning tonight. The D-X Band plays Shawn to the ring for a cool entrance. Remember that Shawn’s back and Austin’s neck are barely held together here.

They circle each other to start and Shawn gets in a left jab. The chase is on and Shawn loses most of his tights for an unwanted view. A backdrop puts Shawn over the top and down onto HHH, who whips Austin into the barricade in retaliation. That’s enough for a double ejection and it’s one on one.

They fight to the bandstand and Shawn hits him in the face with a cymbal. The fans get behind Austin again and the guys head back inside with Austin working on the back. An atomic drop (makes sense) gets two and it’s back to the floor with Shawn being knocked off the apron and face first into the announcers’ table. Austin jacks him in the jaw again but gets backdropped over the top and into the crowd. The bell knocks Austin silly again and Tyson has no problem with it of course. You can see the agony on Shawn’s face and he can barely move.

The fans chant HOLYFIELD in an annoying moment and Shawn keeps punching away. Austin tackles him though and throws Michaels over the top as I can’t believe Shawn can still get up. The champ sweeps the leg and wraps it around the post to give him a target. Back in and Shawn stays on the knee before sending him to the floor for a baseball slide. There’s a Figure Four on Austin but he turns it over pretty quickly. It’s comeback time until Shawn grabs a sleeper.

Austin drives Shawn back into the referee though and Michaels is whipped into various corners. You can see that he can barely take the bumps and it’s tough to sit through. Shawn comes back with the forearm and somehow nips up (the camera misses it AGAIN). The top rope elbow looks to set up the Sweet Chin Music but Austin is ready for it. The Stunner is countered as well and I’ll let JR take it from here until the pin at 20:01. “Michaels going for another kick. Austin…..HE GOT IT! THE STUNNER! MIKE TYSON IN! AUSTIN IS THE CHAMPION! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!”

Rating: A-. And that’s how the WWF won the war. When you factor in the injuries, this is one of the most impressive and gutsy performances you’ll ever see. Austin was in terrible shape and he’s still miles ahead of Shawn. It’s hard to watch Shawn going through a match like this and the things he was doing out there are absolutely amazing when you consider he had a broken back. Let me repeat that: he had a BROKEN BACK and wrestled a great twenty minute match where he was being thrown all over the place. Great match and exactly the way Austin needed to ascend to the top of the wrestling world.

One last thing: Austin hit one Stunner and only one Stunner. They didn’t trade finishers all over the place and kick out at 2 and 7/8. The finishing move finished the match and won the title, just like it’s supposed to do. It really makes the moment feel more important and definitive as Austin won a close match but he won it with no doubts.

JR gets the famous line with “The Austin Era has begun!” Michaels is ticked off at Tyson and takes a swing, earning him a right hand to the jaw to knock Shawn out cold. Confetti falls and the highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. It’s not a great show, but it nailed the ending and lived up to enough of the hype to do what it was supposed to do. The WWF was white hot at this point and there was nothing WCW could do to touch them now that Austin is the champion. As mentioned earlier, it would be two weeks before they won a night in the Monday Night Wars but the battle was over the second this show went off the air.

There are better Wrestlemanias out there but this one was the right show at the right time with the right ending. The memorable moments here are memorable for a reason and the show holds up today for all the right reasons. This show launched the WWF into its second great era and they never looked back. Well not for a few years at least.

Ratings Comparison

Tag Team Battle Royal

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: B

Marc Mero/Sable vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

That’s a lot more all over the place than usual, even by my standards.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/21/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-14-everything-changes-forever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-the-austin-era-has-begun/

Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2008
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and the big story is the Undertaker defeating Edge in the show’s main event to get the World Title back. You can all but guarantee that won’t be it between the two, as a match like that is primed for rematches. Other than that, we might be seeing some new stars around here, which tends to be the case after Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is La Familia to get things going and none of them look happy. Edge has never been so upset as he felt he left everyone down. Most of all, he feels like he let Vickie Guerrero down but swears on their love that he will get the World Title back. Chavo Guerrero feels like he let La Familia down and says Kane cheated to beat him at Wrestlemania. Vickie, after a rather mild “excuse me”, says Edge and Chavo will get their next title matches at Backlash. As for tonight, their opponents can face each other, as it’s Kane vs. Undertaker.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title as the battle rages on. MVP drives him into the corner to start and fires off the shoulders to the ribs. A neckbreaker gets Matt out of trouble and they fight to the floor as Cole recaps this rather long feud. Back in and Matt drops an elbow for two and a clothesline has MVP outside again.

That doesn’t last long this time either as MVP hangs Matt over the ropes for something like a Nightmare On Helm Street to take over. MVP sends him outside in another heap and Matt goes into the announcers’ table to make it worse. We hit the reverse chinlock back inside before MVP goes simple by stomping on Matt’s face.

Back up and Matt goes after the knee (feels like some poetic justice), including wrapping it around the rope in the corner. More cranking ensues on the mat, followed by the Side Effect. The Twist of Fate is broken up but MVP’s knee is too banged up to try the running boot in the corner. Now the Twist of Fate can finish MVP off.

Rating: B-. This was a slower paced match than the two usually have but they both have the skills to have a quality match like this one. MVP almost has to lose the title to Hardy sooner than later as that is entirely the point of picking this feud up after such a long hiatus. Granted it won’t mean as much due to MVP’s consistent losing, but at least they are tying up the loose end.

Festus vs. Zack Ryder

Jesse and Curt Hawkins are here too. Before the match, Hawkins and Ryder didn’t have many nice things to say about Festus. The bell rings so Festus beats both of them up on the floor without much trouble. Back in and Festus beats on him in the corner as commentary talks about Snoop Dogg at Wrestlemania. A bunch of headbutts keep Ryder down but he manages some forearms to the face. The fall away slam sends Ryder flying though and a running knee makes it even worse. Festus grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. This was little more than a squash but Festus can do the power stuff well enough to make it entertaining. If nothing else the flapjack looks like something that could wipe someone out, which is not something every finisher manages to accomplish. I’m a bit surprised that Ryder lost to someone who is little more than half of a comedy team, but maybe the reheating is upon us.

Long video on Ric Flair losing to force his retirement, plus his farewell.

Here is Shawn Michaels to address what he did to Ric Flair. Shawn talks about being face to face with Flair on Raw and feeling his eyes well up with tears. Cue Batista to interrupt though and he isn’t looking happy. Batista says that he isn’t over what happened to Flair yet, because he won’t get to see his friend wrestle again. Shawn says it killed him too but Batista doesn’t want to hear it.

Shawn talks about how Flair wanted his best and Batista would have done it too. Batista says not so fast and says that while Shawn had a job to do, Shawn doesn’t do jobs. If Shawn had laid down JUST ONCE, Flair would still be here. Because Shawn wouldn’t do the right thing, Batista will never ride with his best friend again. Does Shawn really see Flair as Old Yeller? Like some sick old dog? Batista walks away, still making it sound like Flair died.

Undertaker and Kane meet in the back but don’t say anything.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Bentley

Bentley is an OVW mainstay while the debuting Kozlov comes to the ring to no music for a bit of an eerie vibe. Kozlov flips him over to start before firing off some kicks. The boot choke in the corner sets up a headbutt to the chest and a torture rack drop finishes Bentley fast. Total squash and impressive enough while it lasted.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Non-title. Miz drives Yang into the corner to start but misses a clothesline. Moore comes in with a dropkick for one but it’s off to Morrison as there are a disturbing amount of empty seats opposite the hard camera. Morrison finishes fast with the flipping neckbreaker.

Post match Great Khali comes out to wreck everyone. Cue Big Show to say he is getting in Khali’s face instead, with Khali leaving again.

Here are Teddy Long and the owners of Beverly Hills Choppers to announce the winner of the Divas contest. Michelle McCool wins but here is Victoria to interrupt. Victoria says the contest was fixed and the brawl is on, but a mystery woman jumps Michelle from behind. Said mystery woman also knocks Cherry (here for the finals) down as well and leaves with Victoria. No name is given but you might know her better by her name in OVW: Nattie Neidhart.

Long Wrestlemania video.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Non-title. They shove each other around to start so Undertaker goes after the arm. Some arm cranking has Kane down until he powers out, only to have Undertaker take out the leg instead. With that not working, Undertaker switches back to the arm as Coach says they aren’t going as hard as usual due to not wanting to hurt each other.

Kane backs him into the corner for some shots to the face as the pace picks up fast. The slugout actually goes to Kane, who drops him with a big boot. The right hands in the corner just wake Undertaker up and the brawl heads to the floor. Back in and they fight over a chokeslam attempt until stereo big boots put them both down. They both sit up but here is La Familia to jump both of them for the double DQ.

Rating: C. This was little more than a way to have a big main event without having either champion lose. The match was barely a thing as they spent about half of it in slow motion, which did kind of make sense for the story they were telling. Thankfully they didn’t have either of them lose, so they were thinking here, even if the stakes were nonexistent.

Post match Undertaker and Kane fight back, including double chokeslams and Tombstones, to clear the ring and end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They kept the pace going here and had a few debuts to go with the next steps in the big stories. Other than Batista’s weird way of talking about Ric Flair being gone, there wasn’t much that didn’t work here. While nothing was through the roof, it was a show that felt like it came in with momentum and then moved towards Backlash. Good, efficient show here and a great breath of air after the last few weeks.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 1, 2008
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re done with Wrestlemania and thankfully that means we have a new ECW Champion. Kane won the pre-show battle royal and then beat Chavo Guerrero in about ten seconds to win the title. That alone makes the show feel more important, but now we get to see where they go from here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Kane winning the battle royal and the title at Wrestlemania.

Here is Kane to recap winning the battle royal and the title at Wrestlemania. Kane says we haven’t seen anything yet, so here is CM Punk, with Money in the Bank briefcase, to interrupt. That earns him a threat from Kane, but Punk says he’s out here to say he’s a bit jealous. Punk explains the idea of Money in the Bank but here is Chavo Guerrero to interrupt. He’s getting the title match next because Kane’s title win was a fluke! Kane: “I beat you in eight seconds!”

Punk talks about how that has to be some kind of a record but Chavo laughs him off. Chavo promises to win the title back next time. For tonight though, it’s tag match time, with Chavo and Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane/Punk. Cue Shelton to say the only reason Punk is standing there is he got double teamed on Sunday. Punk calls Benjamin Goldilocks and says the one thing Benjamin can’t call himself is Mr. Money In The Bank. This was quite the wordy exchange.

Mike Knox vs. Stevie Richards

Knox takes him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs to start but Richards manages a trip to the floor. Richards’ dive off the apron is elbowed out of the air, followed by the bearhug back inside. A belly to back suplex cuts off Stevie’s comeback attempt but Stevie kicks his way out of trouble. Knox shrugs it off though and grabs a backbreaker, followed by the spinning Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty nothing match here as Knox is about as generic of a heel as you can get and Richards has been beaten into the ground. There isn’t much else that can be said about these two feuding, but for some reason they have been going back and forth for a few weeks now. Hopefully it wraps up soon, though neither is exactly interesting at the moment.

Video on the Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

Tazz is in the ring with Colin Delaney, who says he didn’t get hurt at Wrestlemania. Next year though, he wants to be at Wrestlemania as part of the roster. Cue Armando Estrada to offer Delaney a contract….or not as it’s an April Fools joke. Delaney can have a contract, and all he has to do is win this match.

Colin Delaney vs. Big Show

Cobra clutch finishes Delaney in about 45 seconds. The spin when Show sent Delaney flying to let go of the hold was the best part.

We take a long look at Ric Flair retiring at Wrestlemania and the still outstanding farewell from Raw.

Chavo Guerrero/Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk/Kane

Punk cranks on Benjamin’s arm to start before handing it off to Kane. The basement dropkick gets two on Benjamin but it’s off to Chavo to kick at the leg. Kane scares Chavo over to Benjamin, who comes back in, only to be launched over the top. We take a break and come back with Kane and Punk taking turns kicking away at Benjamin in the corner.

Chavo comes back in and hits a quick jawbreaker but needs Benjamin to save him from the GTS. We hit the neck crank from Benjamin, followed by the double arm crank from Chavo. Punk finally fights out of the corner and bulldogs his way to freedom. Kane comes back in to start cleaning house, including a big boot to Benjamin. Chavo crotches Kane on top, only to have Punk hit the GTS on Benjamin for the pin.

Rating: C+. This got some time and felt far bigger than anything else on the show, despite not being that important of a match all things considered. Punk is pretty clearly on his way out of ECW, Chavo was destroyed at Wrestlemania and Benjamin is Benjamin. That leaves Kane, the already established monster, as the big deal for ECW and that doesn’t leave much reason to believe Chavo and Benjamin had a chance over fifteen minutes.

Overall Rating: C. The show still isn’t very good and feels miles beneath the two main WWE shows, but just having Kane as the top star, or at least champion, gives it more of a legitimacy. No one was buying Chavo as champion of anything but Kane could be a midcard champion on Raw or Smackdown without a bit of doubt. The rest of the show was nothing, but I can give them a break as everyone is still exhaling after Wrestlemania. If things stay like this next week then there’s a problem, but for a one off, it was ok enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 25, 2008
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the final ECW before Wrestlemania and that means pretty much nothing around here. There is no title match set for Wrestlemania as it is going to be all about the battle royal. I’m not sure what that is going to leave us to do on this show but maybe they have one more week of nothing before things, at least hopefully, reset next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes/Kofi Kingston/Kane/Tommy Dreamer/Jesse & Festus/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jim Duggan/Val Venis/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Miz/Chuck Palumbo/Matt Striker/Mark Henry/Snitsky/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Brian Kendrick/Deuce N Domino/Elijah Burke

Because THIS is a good idea. This is all twenty four entrants into the battle royal thrown into a tag match, which makes me wonder how many people the aprons can hold. Cody rolls Kendrick up for a fast two and then backslides him for the same. It’s quickly off to Noble vs. Palumbo, with the latter grabbing a belly to back suplex.

Yang comes in off some of that Jung Dragons chemistry but gets suplexed for his efforts. A middle rope hurricanrana gets Yang out of trouble and it’s time for a parade of dives. We take a break and come back with everything breaking down, as you might have expected. Kofi dives onto Deuce N Domino and Holly gets to hit an Alabama Slam. Khali and Kane have finally had enough of this and start wrecking people. With the two of them down, Henry feeds Dreamer into a big boot from Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that isn’t about the action itself but rather telling you what you might be seeing on Sunday. In that sense it worked out well enough, but my goodness the battle royal might as well have about three people. Chavo almost has to lose at this point as there is just nothing to his title reign and someone else can take the title to hopefully do something with it.

Post match everyone gets in the ring for the huge staredown.

Boxing personalities talk about Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Chavo Guerrero comes up to mock the injured Tommy Dreamer. A match is set for tonight, thanks to some insults to Colin Delaney (sure why not).

Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Feeling out process to start with Carlito slugging away as Taz says he has been hit in the face with a ladder in a match but never had a ladder match. Benjamin skins the cat but Carlito snaps his throat across the top for a crash to the floor. We hit the chinlock back inside and the fans do not seem impressed. Benjamin fights up but gets knocked back into the corner as this isn’t exactly burning up the mat.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Benjamin electric chairs his way to freedom. Carlito is back with a neckbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Benjamin’s back. Benjamin finally makes the comeback and hits the overhead belly to belly. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but the Backstabber is countered into a buckle bomb. Paydirt is countered into a backbreaker to give Carlito two more but Benjamin catches him on top. A super Paydirt finishes Carlito off.

Rating: C-. These two were left out there to fill in as much time as they could and it didn’t exactly work. There were far too many chinlocks to get them through the match until Benjamin finally won in the end. This really didn’t work very well, but like everything else around here, none of that is going to matter by next week.

Video on the Raw World Title triple threat match.

Wrestlemania rundown.

The final inductee into the Hall of Fame Class: Gordon Solie.

Kelly Kelly/Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox/Layla

The women actually wrestle to start with Kelly getting two. Knox gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Layla takes over for a bit. The men come in and Richards swings away until the women getting in a fight distracts him. Knox grabs a swinging Downward Spiral for the fast pin.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and the battle royal participants are at ringside. Dreamer backdrops him to the apron and punches him out to the floor to start, with the unofficial lumberjacks sending Chavo back inside. Chavo sends him shoulder first into the post and we hit the front facelock. The fans think Chavo sucks, even as Dreamer fights up with a bulldog. Guerrero blocks something out of the corner so Dreamer settles for a neckbreaker. Dreamer gets crotched on top though and the frog splash gives Chavo the pin.

Rating: C-. And that’s another Chavo match these days, as they are still rather uninteresting with little going on that could make me care about the title. Dreamer making his comeback is always decent enough but there was only so much that can be done with a three minute match less than a week before Wrestlemania. Just get the title off of Chavo already because this reign is dragging down everything else.

Post match everyone gets inside and the fight is on to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. My goodness Wrestlemania needs to come and go already because this show is falling apart in a hurry. There is only so much that can be done when you have one important story and that one is in limbo due to the champion not having an opponent. Other than that, it is a bunch of people trying to fill in time and that is not going to work long, or even short, term.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: March 21, 2008
Location: Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’re almost to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure what else there is to build around here. Last week’s main event was a weird combination of a Raw and Smackdown match which felt like a weird off ramp match. Odd are the focus will still be on Edge vs. Undertaker, which really doesn’t need it at this point. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recreation of Batista vs. Umaga in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Well that’s a change of pace.

Batista vs. Deuce N Domino

No Cherry this week as she is in the competition later tonight. Batista doesn’t look amused as he drives Deuce into the corner to start. A double team manages to take Batista down but he’s right back with an elbow to Domino’s face. Batista isn’t having that though and sends Deuce outside, setting up the Batista Bomb to finish Domino in a hurry.

Maryse comes up to see Cherry and can’t believe she’s still in the Divas competition. Look at the two of them: Maryse is a Diva but Cherry is a dog.

It’s time for the Divas Competition with Michelle McCool, Eve Torres, Cherry and Victoria left. This week’s competition is an arm wrestling contest so Victoria cheats to beat Eve, Michelle beats Cherry and Michelle beats Victoria. With that out of the way, Victoria is eliminated after last week’s fan vote. Instead of leaving, she gets in a fight with Michelle but gets sent outside.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Michael Buffer and Evander Holyfield talk about Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

Big Show vs. Chase Stevens/Andy Douglas/Luke Hawx

Stevens and Douglas were the Naturals in TNA a few years earlier. Before the match, we see Chris Jericho talking about how Show’s right hand is going to make it Wrestlemania RIP for Mayweather. Destruction ensues and the big right hand finishes Stevens in less than a minute and a half.

Raven Symone will be bringing kids to Wrestlemania for Make-A-Wish. Cool.

Edge vs. Funaki

Non-title and the Edgeheads are here with Edge. Funaki seems to be taking this a bit more seriously than Edge, who knocks Funaki down fast. The stomping in the corner keeps Funaki in trouble until he manages an enziguri. Edge hits the spear but pulls Funaki up at two. Instead it’s a Tombstone and arm cross pin (with tongue) to finish for Edge.

Rating: D+. This was just a quick workout for Edge but the Tombstone was a nice touch. Edge knows how to get under people’s skin like no other and mocking Undertaker is the kind of mind game that he would play. Funaki is fine for something like this and they didn’t mess around by letting him get a near fall or anything unnecessary like that. Nothing match, fine use of time.

Post match Edge says he’ll win at Wrestlemania and promises to show us something by the end of the night.

It’s time for MVP’s VIP Lounge with MVP pointing to the Money in the Bank briefcase above the ring. Therefore, his guest this week is Chris Jericho, but first MVP wants to talk about the ladder underneath the briefcase. MVP brags about his career successes and how he has beaten so many World Champions. That means he is the next World Champion because he is better than everyone else in the match. Cue Jericho to interrupt and the fans certainly seem to approve.

Jericho is excited about being back on Smackdown for the first time in five and a half years, but he can’t stand a loudmouthed blowhard who can’t shut up with his own talk show. MVP mocks Jericho and Jericho is right back, pointing out that MVP could have had far worse initials (and yes, he has graphics spelling out some stupid names). That’s too far for MVP, who goes on a rant about how Jericho couldn’t save anyone from anything. He climbs the ladder and gets the briefcase….so Jericho turns said ladder over.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo

They fight over the power to start with Palumbo actually taking over off an armbar. Kane fights up and hits the big boot as they head outside. They head back in, where Kane clotheslines him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kane charging into an elbow in the corner…and here is Great Khali to go after Kane for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Thankfully they didn’t bother trying to make Palumbo a thing here as he stopped showing much potential a good while ago. Kane winning the battle royal and the ECW Title as a result would make good sense and there is a real chance that is where they are heading. Not much of a match, but what were you expecting with Palumbo in there?

Post match Khali beats both of them down but here is Mark Henry to interrupt. Henry World’s Strongest Slams Khali and stands tall.

Eddie Graham Hall of Fame video.

Tag Team Titles: Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison

Miz/Morrison are defending. The bell makes Festus snap and he hits Morrison in the face to start fast. An interfering Miz is knocked out of the air and some headbutts to Morrison’s back set up Jesse’s running neckbreaker. Miz gets in a cheap shot though and works on Jesse’s arm before choking on the rope.

Morrison’s chinlock is broken up as Jesse sends him into the corner, where Festus scares Morrison in a funny bit. Miz grabs another chinlock before Jesse neckbreakers his way out of Morrison’s….something. It’s back to Festus for the house cleaning before handing it off to Jesse again. That lets Morrison send Festus outside and the Reality Check retains the titles.

Rating: C-. We’re now to the point where Miz and Morrison have cleaned out the division, which granted doesn’t take that long when there are about four teams. Jesse & Festus need to either win the titles or find something else to do, as the novelty is kind of wearing off. This was mainly a chinlock match with Festus coming in to do his thing and then Jesse gets pinned. That’s only going to get you so far and we have reached that point.

Raw Rebound.

Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Edge/the Edgeheads are here with Chavo. Undertaker starts fast and knocks Chavo down without much trouble. Old School connects and Chavo is rocked early on. A distraction from the floor lets Chavo hammer away in the corner, only to have Undertaker LAUNCH him into said corner as well.

The side slam gives Undertaker two but another distraction sends him outside. This time Chavo manages a baseball slide from behind and the likely not very effective beating begins. Chavo grabs a short armscissors but Undertaker powers out in short order. Snake Eyes into the big boot set up a chokeslam and the Hell’s Gate to finish Chavo.

Rating: C. Chavo has to lose the title at Wrestlemania now as his big win in recent weeks has been over Colin Delaney. Other than giving him a win to make him into something a little bigger, his title reign has been pretty much nothing and that was on display here. Undertaker beating Chavo isn’t a bad thing, but the champ just lost in about five minutes in little more than a squash.

Post match Edge and the Edgeheads come in, each with a chair, and the huge beatdown ensues. The Conchairto leaves Undertaker laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s not a good sign when the best match on the show is Undertaker squashing Chavo Guerrero. The problem is the same as it has been for weeks now: Wrestlemania is set and all that Smackdown can do is fill in time on the way to Orlando. This show was just a bunch of filler with some build towards Wrestlemania, plus the bigger moment at the end. That’s a rough two hours, but none of that is going to matter nine days from now. Not a good show, but it doesn’t mean a thing anyway.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 18, 2008
Location: Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Now we continue the lame duck string of shows as there is very little actually going on around here that matters for Wrestlemania. The main ECW involvement is going to be a battle royal for a title shot later on and that isn’t something that is easily built up outside of the Royal Rumble. Maybe they have something else for the next two weeks though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Kane vs. Elijah Burke

Kane snaps off an uppercut to start and Burke bails out to the floor. Burke pulls him outside too and gets driven into the apron for his efforts. Back in and Kane hits a backbreaker before cranking on the neck for a change. That’s broken up and Burke gets in a shot of his own before avoiding a charge in the corner. The Elijah Express is loaded up….and cut off with a chokeslam to give Kane the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty nothing match here as Kane gets a squash and Burke continues to be little more than a jobber to the stars. Kane is someone who can be pushed as a top star around here as he is the definition of a big fish in a small pond. It’s not like he was doing anything on Smackdown anyway so let him come here and get reheated.

Armando Estrada shakes hands with Mark Henry, who is in the Wrestlemania battle royal. ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero comes in and panics over the giants in the battle royal. Colin Delaney comes in to ask about a contract but Chavo doesn’t like being interrupted. Chavo rants about Delaney being disrespectful and a match is made, with Delaney getting a contract (rather than the title) if he wins.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr., the same as on Raw.

Kofi Kingston vs. James Curtis

Kofi shoulders him down to start and grabs a drop toehold as commentary talks about Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather. A headlock takeover has Curtis down again but he fights up and actually takes over for once. Curtis works on an armbar until Kofi upkicks his way to freedom to start the comeback. The double chops set up the double legdrop and the buzzsaw kick finishes for Kofi.

Rating: C. Kofi continues to get built up, at least as much as you can be by beating James Curtis again. What matters is keeping him in the ring and making him look dominant until they find something or him to do. ECW has been needing fresh talent for a long time and Kofi is as good as anyone else they can throw in there.

CM Punk meets Jesse and Festus before their six man tag. Jesse insists that Festus will be fine when the bell rings.

CM Punk/Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison/Shelton Benjamin

Festus clears the ring at the bell until he slams Morrison down. Jesse comes in for a basement dropkick before Punk comes in to send Miz and Morrison outside. There’s the springboard spinning crossbody before Festus pulls Benjamin over the top and out onto everyone else in a big crash.

We take a break and come back with Punk kicking Miz in the head (Morrison: “Stay in there Miz! You’re doing good!”). Benjamin pulls Punk off the top though and the villains take over for the first time, despite the CM PUNK chants. We hit the chinlock, followed by an exploder suplex to plant Punk again. Morrison comes back in for a chinlock of his own until Punk fights out. The tag brings in Festus to clean house and everything breaks down. Miz can’t hit the Reality Check, allowing Festus to hit the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match, as Punk never felt like he was overly worried about any of his opponents. That’s how this match should have gone anyway, as Punk is by far and away bigger than any other regular ECW star right now. Let him have an entertaining match and give Jesse & Festus a win before their Tag Team Title match later this week.

We look back at HHH making John Cena and Randy Orton face the Raw roster this week. Or some of it at least.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Eddie Graham is going into the WWE Hall Of Fame. Now there’s an influence on the business.

Video on Big Show.

Colin Delaney is in the ring and says he’s ready to go, despite JBL beating him up last night.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Colin Delaney

Non-title and Delaney gets a WWE contract if he wins. Chavo pounds him down without much trouble to start but Delaney fights up. A dropkick sends Chavo outside and he isn’t pleased with the developments. Back in and Chavo kicks away before hitting a belly to back suplex. We hit a seated double arm crank for a bit as the slow beating continues. The frog splash (with a lot of trash talk) misses though and Delaney gets a desperation two. Chavo is annoyed and finishes with the Gory Bomb.

Rating: C-. What else were you expecting here? Delaney has been treated as a joke his entire time in ECW and he wasn’t going to pin the champion for his first singles win. The good thing is that they didn’t treat this as anything more than what it should have been, though Delaney getting in a bit of offense here and there is a nice little progression.

Overall Rating: C. This show isn’t much to see at the moment and I don’t see that getting any better next week. The good thing is it seems like we might be in for a change of course after Wrestlemania, as Chavo hasn’t been doing much as ECW Champion and it seems like time to move somewhere else. That doesn’t make the shows on the way there that much better though, as these shows are in a holding pattern as you can get until Wrestlemania.

 

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Smackdown
Date: March 14, 2008
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,121
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

We are less than a month away from Wrestlemania and the focus continues to be on Edge vs. the Undertaker. This time though, Edge is veering off to team with the Edgeheads against Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair in a cage match. That’s certainly a unique enough one to go with so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is hometown girl Maria to get things going. She is excited for Bunnymania but tonight, she is hosting the Smackdown Divas Contest so here are the rest of the women. We waste no time in eliminating Maryse, meaning it’s time for this week’s contest. All four of the remaining women (Eve Torres, Michelle McCool, Cherry, Victoria) run the course….with time not counting, because the fan vote decides who is eliminated anyway. McCool wins as at least this was short.

Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels are ready for the main event.

Raw Rebound.

Big Show vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Show shoves them down without much trouble and tosses Yang into Moore in the corner. The chops rock Moore again and Yang gets tossed so hard that he almost spins around. The big right hand pins Moore in a hurry.

Post match Show tosses Yang ala Floyd Mayweather Jr. on Raw.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: John Morrison vs. The Miz

Morrison doesn’t waste time by grabbing a rollup for a fast two. Back up and Miz hits a middle rope clothesline for one and it’s time for Morrison to bail to the floor. Miz cranks on a headlock before forearming away. That’s fine with Morrison, who sweeps the legs into a jackknife rollup for two more. The flipping neckbreaker is blocked though and Miz faceplants him for two of his own. Morrison isn’t pleased and pops back up with the flipping neckbreaker to finish Miz off.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here and that is about all you could expect from them. Miz isn’t that far along (though he’s coming) and Morrison is the bigger and more successful star. No one would buy Miz as a threat to win the briefcase and while Morrison isn’t that much better of an option, he’s the better option than Miz at the moment.

Video on JBL vs. Finlay, leading to their Belfast Brawl at Wrestlemania.

Finlay joins us via satellite, saying there are no words to describe what it’s like to look at Hornswoggle in his hospital bed. At Wrestlemania, there will be no words to describe the beating he is going to give JBL.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending and this is no holds barred. They go nose to nose to start until MVP bails to the floor to avoid a charge. Back in and Batista sends him face first into the buckle before a big kick to the chest gets two. An elbow to the head gives Batista two more but MVP is right back up with an overhead belly to belly of all things. MVP gets smart by hitting him in the face with a chain and then chokes away with it back inside.

Batista breaks that up so MVP tears off a buckle pad, only to walk into a spinebuster. It’s too early for Batista to follow up though and MVP gets in a chair shot to the ribs. They go outside with MVP being sent into the barricade and Batista being sent into the post. A low blow gives MVP a needed breather and there’s a running boot to the face as we take a break.

Back with both of them still down on the floor until Batista has to spear a chair out of MVP’s hands. That doesn’t keep MVP down very long though as he chairs Batista in the leg to take over again. MVP takes too long (common theme in this one) peeling back the ring mats though and now it’s Batista getting in his own chair shot. Back in and MVP sends him face first into the exposed buckle to knock Batista silly. For some reason MVP goes up with the chair, allowing Batista to get up. Not that it matters though as cue Umaga to Samoan Spike Batista down, allowing MVP to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This should be it for the feud as Batista now has an even bigger reason to focus on Umaga and Wrestlemania. The ending was the logical way to go as you need to keep Batista strong and MVP…well he’s lost so many times already that it’s hard to believe that there is much left for his reign anyway. What matters here is they wrapped up one feud and moved on to another and at least MVP got a pin for once.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

Kane/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo slugs away at Kane to start, which goes about as well as you are probably imagining. Noble, with his bad ribs, comes in and is quickly dropped, allowing Khali to come in and go after the ribs. Some shots to Khali have no effect but Palumbo gets in a cheap shot from the apron anyway. The chokebomb finishes Noble fast.

The cage is lowered.

The Brisco Brothers are going into the Hall Of Fame.

Ric Flair/Shawn Michaels vs. Edge/Edgeheads

In a cage with escape only rules. Hold on though as here is Vickie Guerrero to say we’re adding in someone else. Cue Chavo Guerrero and this is going to be 4-2. We’re joined in progress with the big fight on and Edge spears Flair down to make the numbers game even worse. Shawn gets tied up in the ropes and there’s a spear against the cage or him too.

That leaves him to see an already bloody Flair get rammed into the cage but Shawn is untied and stomped in the corner. Flair manages a few right hands but Edge rakes him face first into the cage. Shawn fights up and Flair does the same, only to have Shawn get tied up in the Tree of Woe for a spear from Edge. Somehow Flair chops away at Edge and the Edgeheads and Shawn manages to knock a diving Chavo out of the air.

A low blow drops Edge and Shawn hits the forearm into the nip up. The villains are sent into the cage over and over and there’s the top rope elbow to Hawkins. Edge spears Chavo by mistake and the double Figure Fours go on. Chavo breaks them up with a double frog splash….and Undertaker is here. Undertaker goes after Edge but a distraction lets him escape the cage for the win.

Rating: C. This was weird as it didn’t really do anything other than put a bunch of people in the cage at once before Undertaker popped in to give them an ending. It felt like they just said “oh do whatever” and moved on, which doesn’t make for the most interesting of matches. That being said, it’s more interesting than a regular tag match and I guess Flair’s loss doesn’t count because he wasn’t directly beaten?

Overall Rating: C. We seem to be entering into the portion of the Wrestlemania build where they have everything set and just need to focus on that instead of anything new. That doesn’t make for the most interesting show, but it’s nice to have a plan and then go forward with it. With only two weeks to go before Wrestlemania, we could be in for some very different shows, but that doesn’t mean they’re all going to be thrilling.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2001
Date: January 21, 2001
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 17,137
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is the first of two requested Rumble reviews of the year to go along with the regular redo of last year’s show. We’re nearing the end of the Attitude Era and Steve Austin is back after nearly a year on the shelf for neck surgery. All signs are pointing to Rock vs. Austin for the title at Wrestlemania and there’s nothing wrong with that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at how this is the only chance for a lot of people to become World Champion.

The opening sequence is rather clever as it’s a pole with street signs, each bearing a Rumble participant’s name. The Road to Wrestlemania you see.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Edge and Christian are defending and the story….well it likely doesn’t matter as these teams plus the Hardys feuded for the better part of ever. Thankfully the recap shows us that the Canadians laid both of them out with chair shots to the head on Monday. What a sign of the times that really is. Edge and Christian tease walking out but you know that’s not going anywhere.

D-Von neckbreakers Edge for two to start as Jerry goes over the Dudleys’ family tree. Eh it was better when Heyman did the same thing at Wrestlemania. Bubba comes in and drops a big elbow for two as Lawler makes fun of the concussions. Again, total sign of the times and it’s almost disturbing to hear today. Christian walks into a side slam for two but a forearm to the back of D-Von’s head gives the champs their first control.

A Russian legsweep keeps the head banged up as it’s time to talk about Christian’s hair and teeth. Bubba comes in for a save with Lawler giving tips for how to make the concussion even worse. We get a rare D-Von chant as he tries to fight out of a chinlock. Another neckbreaker gets two on D-Von and Edge stays on the neck. Lawler: “I love it when Edge talks trash.” JR: “Does it keep you aroused?” D-Von gets in half of a double clothesline and it’s time for the slow crawl to the corner.

Like any good villain, Christian distracts the referee so the tag doesn’t count. Instead it’s Conchairto time but the chairs only hit each other, allowing D-Von to clothesline both champions down. NOW the hot tag brings in Bubba and it’s What’s Up to Edge. It’s table time but Christian cuts him off. Edge misses a belt shot and gets rolled up for two. A spear cuts off the 3D though and gives Edge two on Bubba. The champs load up their own What’s Up but D-Von makes the save this time, followed by 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. These teams are always good for a layup and like I said, it’s not like the story really mattered. You could throw any combination of these four and the Hardys out there for a great match and that’s a great thing to have in your back pocket. It’s not like the titles really mattered at this point as the fans wanted to see some combination of these three teams, which the company certainly gave them. The concussion stuff is still a bit rough to sit through though.

Drew Carey arrived earlier today. More on this later.

Also earlier today, Vince clarified that HHH will still get his title shot tonight despite what happened with Steve Austin on Smackdown. What happened you ask? Well again that’s not important enough to mention. Like anyone wasn’t watching the shows at this point though.

HHH doesn’t want Stephanie coming out to the ring tonight but Stephanie says she has to be there to deal with any potential Trish Stratus interference. After listening to Stephanie’s normal levels of acting, we’re joined by someone with some actual talent in that area as Carey comes in. He didn’t know the two of them were married because he’s been a bit busy lately.

Carey talks about running into Kamala recently and HHH tries to get rid of him. Drew understands and is looking for Vince for some tips on his upcoming comedy pay per view. Stephanie leaves with him because she wants to find Trish. Nothing wrong with a little promotion like this and the segment didn’t take long.

The APA talks about showing each other something. Bradshaw: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”. They mean Rumble numbers of course and Faarooq needs two beers. Crash Holly comes in to say he’ll thrown them out tonight even if they’re friends. Bradshaw: “And people say we’re drunks.”

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho. They’ve been fighting over the Intercontinental Title and tonight it’s a ladder match for Benoit’s belt. Most of the video doesn’t even have words but it’s not like it matters. Much like the tag match, you could throw these two and Angle out there with whatever story you wanted and it’s going to get a strong reaction. Again, that’s incredibly valuable to have at your disposal.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit is defending in a ladder match and the fight is on in a hurry. The slugout leads to both guys trying their submission to no avail. Benoit sends him shoulder first into the post as Lawler picks Benoit to win in a blowout. A shoulder breaker stays on the shoulder and Jericho’s springboard dropkick is knocked out to the floor. They’re definitely going with the idea that Benoit knows Jericho very well to start.

The shoulder goes into the post and it’s already ladder time. It’s way too early to climb though as Jericho pulls him off in an electric chair. Jericho rams the ladder into Benoit’s ribs and puts said ladder in the corner. Now you know what’s going to happen and I know what’s going to happen, but since Jericho is a face here, he’s stupid enough to be whipped into the ladder and fall outside again.

Benoit’s dive through the ropes is blocked with a chair to the head (egads that’s tough to watch). A ladder shot to Benoit’s back only hits barricade and now it’s the ladder going off Jericho’s head. Jericho sends him into the ladder back inside before tying Benoit’s leg into the ladder. That means a super Russian legsweep to bring them both crashing down. Benoit goes into the ladder again and Jericho catapults the ladder into his face to make things even worse. These are some brutal, brutal shots here and they keep getting harder and harder.

Jericho starts going up the ladder so Benoit belly to back suplexes him over the top in a heap. They both head up the ladder this time though and Jericho gets the Walls ON TOP OF THE LADDER for one of the coolest and most painful looking spots you’ll ever see. Benoit falls off but manages to kick the ladder over, sending Jericho into the ropes. The Crossface makes Jericho tap (and goes back to the shoulder from earlier) but Jericho’s other arm is still good enough to send Benoit into the ladder.

The ladder is set up in the corner but Benoit knocks him off, setting up a HUGE Swan Dive….which only hits mat. Jericho puts the ladder on top of Benoit for a climb but Benoit shoves it forward, sending Jericho crashing into the top rope. Benoit goes up but Jericho makes the save with a chair to knock Benoit to the floor. That’s too much of a fall and Jericho wins the title.

Rating: A. This is one of my all time favorites as the match is nothing short of brutal and featured some unique spots in there. Sometimes you just need two people to beat the heck out of each other with reckless abandon and that’s exactly what you got here. There’s even some psychology with the arm work and that’s all you could ask for. This isn’t a match that needs a lot of analysis because you get everything you need out of just watching the thing.

Carey meets Trish Stratus who isn’t all that interested when he hits on her (Drew Carey isn’t that bad of a catch actually) because she’s involved with someone. That someone would be Vince, who doesn’t seem thrilled to meet Drew. The pay per view is plugged and Vince has an idea to promote the show: Drew can be in the Royal Rumble! Drew: “I don’t wrestle. Of course I don’t act but I have a show.”

Chyna doesn’t want to hear from Billy Gunn about her match with Ivory. She tells him to worry about the Rumble. I’d worry about being Billy Gunn.

Jericho says he proved Benoit wrong.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory. The Right to Censor gave Chyna a spike piledriver to put her out of action, meaning her career might have been over. Now she’s back to destroy Ivory for what she’s done to them in what should be a squash.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Chyna

Chyna is challenging and hits some quick clotheslines to begin the dominance. A toss off the top keeps it going and Ivory gets stomped in the corner. Ivory gets tossed outside so Chyna follows her into the crowd for the quick stop. Chyna cleans house, including tossing Steven Richards. Back up and a handspring elbow into the corner crushes Ivory….but Chyna collapses and grabs her neck. Ivory gets the quick cover for the pin after no offense.

Rating: D-. Of course the wrestling isn’t the point here as this was an angle disguised as a match. There are only so many ways you can book Chyna vs. Ivory, or Chyna vs. any woman for that matter, and this is the kind of trick booking you have to use. It’s barely a match of course and what we got was nothing worth seeing of course.

Lawler goes in the ring to check on Chyna and Billy Gunn (who comes from opposite the entrance for some reason) joins him. A long stretcher job ensues.

After someone seems to have her neck horribly injured, we go to Stephanie needing her hair fixed. She runs into Trish and things get catty, as expected.

Harvey Wippelman gives Drew some gear when Kane comes in. I think you know where this is going and it’s starting to wear thin.

Tiger Ali Singh and Low Down (D’Lo Brown and Headbanger Mosh in, shall we say, an ethnic gimmick, which is probably more offensive than funny) are arguing over who gets the spot in the Rumble. Vince comes in and says never mind because Carey is getting their spot. This is the kind of detail that makes the entry a lot easier. You’re not left wondering whose spot Carey is taking because the name is officially give. Also, who is going to remember Brown or Chaz in the match as cannon fodder for a big name? Put Carey in instead and give us a fun moment instead. It’s not like it’s going to change anything.

Fans at WWF New York give their picks for HHH vs. Kurt Angle.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. HHH. Angle won the title a few months back but HHH said he could get the title back whenever he wanted it. A few family strings were pulled and Vince’s son-in-law got the title shot. Since Angle couldn’t have a McMahon in his corner, he got Vince’s mistress Trish. This set Stephanie off and the ladies are in a bigger feud than the men. Oh yeah the men don’t like each other either.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending. They fight over the arm to start as JR has to point out that this is heel vs. heel for a really weird setup. Lawler of course would rather talk about the women at ringside (to be fair, Stephanie looks great here). Angle throws HHH outside but the fans think the champ sucks. The signature chant hasn’t started yet so that’s still some fresh thinking.

Angle follows him out for some right hands to the face, only to get sent into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and HHH starts on the knee as the announcers discuss Drew Carey. Lawler actually brings up a good point by saying he made a huge name for himself by piledriving Andy Kaufman. What kind of attention would someone get for taking out Drew Carey? Angle whips HHH over the corner for a big crash and more “acting” from Stephanie. Another whip sends him into the steps and it’s Angle being even more aggressive.

A missed charge allows HHH to wrap the leg around the post though and a chair to the knee makes it even worse. HHH follows it up with a chop block and it’s off to the Indian deathlock. Well you knew he was going to work that one in somehow. The Figure Four follows up and JR is talking about all the things Gordon Solie would say about the hold. Trish tries for a save but Stephanie pulls her out for the catfight. Vince comes out to break it up as HHH looks on. Maybe getting some ideas for later?

HHH finally snaps back into it and drops some elbows on the leg. A DDT cuts HHH off though and a bridging German suplex gets two. Kurt goes up but gets low blowed, followed by a Razor’s Edge of all things for two more. You know it’s serious when HHH is using the Kliq moveset. Angle is back up with a suplex and the moonsault, only to bang his knee up some more.

They head outside and the ref gets bumped, with Lawler referring to Hebner as one of his best friends. Back in and HHH goes up, allowing Angle to run the ropes for a super armdrag. There’s no referee so HHH grabs the belt but walks into another suplex. Naturally the Pedigree connects for no count so here’s Austin to lay HHH out with a belt shot.

Rating: B. A little too much overbooking for my taste but the ending makes sense given HHH costing Austin the title a few weeks back (which the announcers finally bothered to mention after the match was over). Angle retaining is fine too as HHH vs. Austin doesn’t need the title and we can get to Rock vs. Austin at Wrestlemania that much easier. Angle still isn’t quite capable of hanging move for move with someone like HHH but he’s certainly able to do enough to cover up his few faults. The fact that he was only about fifteen months on the main roster at this point is almost scary.

The Rock, looking a little stoned, compares the Rumble to a big pot of jambalaya: there’s a bit of everything in it. The big question is whether the Undertaker and Kane are together and you know Rock isn’t letting an easy line like that get by. After talking about Undertaker tickling nipples, Rock says the Rumble could come down to him and anyone from Bull Buchanan to Perry Saturn to Steve Austin. He’ll win either way. Standard Rock here, with crazy charisma and presence without saying anything more than “I’ll win and don’t care who I have to beat”.

Long recap video on the Rumble. Does this really need an explanation? A bunch of people are in and about 25 five of them are kidding themselves into believing they could win.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals this year so they have a lot of time. Jeff Hardy is in at #1 and Bull Buchanan (of the RTC) is in at #2. Buchanan throws him into the corner but gets punched up to the top for his efforts. That goes nowhere so Matt Hardy is in at #3 in one of those old Rumble tropes. It’s kind of amazing how often this happens isn’t it? Buchanan is tossed without much effort and a fist bump gets us ready for the brother showdown. Matt can’t get him out in the corner so a suplex drops Jeff instead. Faarooq is in at #4 and it’s time to run over some Hardys.

Poetry in Motion into the Twist into the Swanton is enough to dump Faarooq though and it’s back to two. There go the shirts (and the schoolgirl cheers) as it’s time to slug it out. Drew Carey is in at #5 and the Hardys don’t even bother stopping their fight this time. They actually eliminate each other and Drew climbs in, much to the fans’ appreciation. Then the clock runs down and it’s Kane at #6, giving us the only thing JR could possibly say: “Oh my God oh my God oh my God.”

Drew tells the Hardys to get back inside and save him as Kane takes his sweet time in a logical move. Carey keeps up the intelligence by offering cash but it’s Raven coming in at #7 with a kendo stick for the save. In the smartest thing he could do, Carey eliminates himself and manages to not have died.

I’ve said this before but that’s one of the best celebrity appearances in WWE history. He came in, he did his thing, he took a spot from a nothing wrestler who would have been tossed in short order and we get a fun moment. About nine months earlier, WCW took a lesser celebrity and made him the World Champion. Now which of these two did things the smart way?

Anyway we’re on to the hardcore section now with Raven spraying Kane with a fire extinguisher, only to have Al Snow jump the gun at #8 and attack Raven from behind. The buzzer, uh, buzzes, and it’s Snow coming in legally this time. That means a bowling ball between Raven’s legs with JR saying it seems like a hurricane blowing through New Orleans. I’ll be leaving that one alone as the hardcore guys beat the heck out of Kane.

Perry Saturn is in at #8 with Lawler and JR losing their minds over Terri’s top. Saturn starts in on Kane’s knee as there are weapons all over the ring. Kane has finally had it with this getting beaten up thing and slams Saturn down but everyone gangs up on him to get Kane down. Then reality sets in that they have to get him back up and throw him over the top. There’s a reason these guys are stuck in the hardcore division. Steve Blackman is in at #9 and WHAT A COINCIDENCE THAT IT’S ANOTHER HARDCORE GUY! I know the line is it’s completely random but these things get hilarious at times.

The brawling continues until Grandmaster Sexay is in at #11. Weapons are swung until Kane has enough of the nonsense and eliminates Sexay with the trashcan. Everyone else follows him out and Kane is alone to face the Honky Tonk Man of all people at #12. For some reason he decides to ask Kane to stand back so we can have a song. One guitar shot later and Kane has his sixth elimination in about four minutes. Again: great usage of a legend there, if nothing else just to give the fans a breather and a transition between the sections of the match.

That next section begins with the Rock coming in at #13 so the slugout can begin. They knock each other down in short order though and it’s Goodfather in at #14….and being eliminated in thirteen seconds, counting entrance. Kane chokes Rock on the ropes with JR getting in the….I’m not sure what the right adjective is but he calls Kane a carnivore and Rock a big piece of Rock Burger.

Tazz is in at #15 and manages to last even shorter than Goodfather. Rock can’t get Kane out either so he settles for a Samoan drop. It’s Bradshaw in at #16 and both Kane and Rock are clotheslined down in short order. Rock takes Bradshaw down but walks into a clothesline from Kane as things stay slow (fine in this case as Rock and Kane have been fighting for a few minutes now and Bradshaw is getting beaten up by both of them). Albert is in at #17 and gets double teamed by Kane and Bradshaw.

Lawler of course asks about Trish and Stephanie with JR cutting him off as fast as he can. The four pair off but no one is eliminated until Hardcore Holly is in at #18. Rock has to survive an elimination attempt as Albert bicycle kicks Kane down (that looked impressive). A running clothesline takes Bradshaw down (for a change) but Rock can’t get Kane past the apron. K-Kwik (R-Truth, who is somehow STILL AROUND seventeen years later) is in at #19 and is promptly stomped in the corner.

Rock can’t get K-Kwik out (Seriously?) and it’s Val Venis in at #20, giving us Kane, Rock, Bradshaw, Albert, Holly, K-Kwik and Venis. The brawling continues with no one coming close to an elimination until William Regal is in at #21. Bradshaw manages to hang on this time as it’s Test in at #22 to keep filling the ring up. Regal is tossed to keep things even though with JR saying he was molested.

The returning Big Show is in at #23 to get rid of Test and K-Kwik, followed by chokeslams to Albert and Bradshaw. Venis and Holly go up and down next, followed by one to Kane for a BIG pop. Rock is smart enough to kick him low though and a spit punch eliminates Show in short order. That was quite the sequence and has the fans right back into things after a bit of a lull. Smart booking, again. Show isn’t done though and loads up the announcers’ table as Crash Holly is in at #24.

The chokeslam puts Rock (not eliminated) through the table and the fans are quieted again. Everyone left in the ring goes after Kane but it’s Undertaker in at #25 to save his brother. The ring is cleared in all of thirty seconds and it’s Kane vs. Undertaker in a staredown with Rock still down on the floor. Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #26 and I’m not even going to bother describing his painful experience. Undertaker and Kane look at the ramp for the next entrant and it’s Steve Austin in at #27….only to have HHH jump him in the aisle.

Rock gets back in to fight the giants as HHH sends Austin into the barricade, busting him open somewhere in there. With Austin down on the floor, Billy Gunn is in at #28. Right hands abound but Undertaker and Kane stomp Rock and Gunn down into the corners. Undertaker DDT’s Rock and punches him in the head but it’s HAKU (the reigning WCW Hardcore Champion but not under contract because WCW WAS STUPID) in at #29.

Austin is still down on the floor and my goodness that’s a lot of blood. Undertaker and Kane beat on Haku, who is nice enough not to eat them. JR and Lawler get in an argument over Austin being attacked because of course they do and it’s heel Rikishi in at #30 (which was already announced). Austin is up to hammer on him in the aisle though and we have a final grouping of Austin, Kane, Undertaker, Rock, Rikishi, Haku and Billy Gunn. Right hands and a clothesline get rid of Haku and we’re down to six.

Undertaker chokeslams Rikishi and sends Rock to the apron but hurts himself headbutting Rikishi. A superkick actually gets rid of Undertaker in probably the biggest success of Rikishi’s heel run. I mean, it’s also one of the only ones but it counts. For some reason Rikishi tries the Bonzai Drop on Rock, earning himself one of the dumbest eliminations of the year. We’re down to four as Undertaker’s motorcycle revving is rather distracting. Gunn hits a Fameasser on Austin and is eliminated for general purposes.

Rock gets in a DDT on Kane and finds himself in an opposite corner from Austin, meaning we have the modern Hogan vs. Warrior moment. The Wrestlemania preview is on and you can actually see the fans standing to watch it. There’s a Stunner to Rock and the Thesz press to Kane, followed by a low blow. A Rock Bottom cuts Austin off but Rock sends Kane through the ropes by mistake.

The big time slugout is on again but Kane comes back in and dumps Rock. Now THAT is a big deal for him…yet he was in a triple threat hardcore match at Wrestlemania. Wrestling is funny that way. Kane chokeslams Austin, only to walk around for a bit. A low blow gives Austin a breather so Kane grabs a chair. No worries though as a Stunner and some chair shots send Austin to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This was the Rumble formula at a very high level with Austin not being a lock to win here (Rock was very much an option) and Kane as the story throughout the match. There were also some long sections in there, along with several stories being set up for the future. The company was on a roll at this point and it’s no shock that the Rumble was excellent as well. Great stuff here and one of the best ever.

Overall Rating: A. When the worst part of the show is an angle disguised as a match, it’s pretty clear that you have a winner. The Rumble and the ladder match here are both top notch and it’s no surprise that things are rolling along as well as they are here. The company was just on a roll at this point with no turning back (until they managed to botch the biggest storyline in wrestling history but that’s a story for later). Just a great show top to bottom here with the only weak spot being a three and a half minute match. That’s some pretty sweet territory and the amazing thing is Wrestlemania blew this away.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B-

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A

2013 Redo: A+

2018 Redo: A

Ivory vs. Chyna

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

It always interests me when the first and third ratings are the same and the middle is different. Still though, great show all around, as it always has been.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/20/royal-rumble-count-up-2001-drew-carey-could-go-to-wrestlemania/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2001-two-masterpieces-in-a-row/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6