Royal Rumble 2001
Date: January 21, 2001
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 17,137
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is the first of two requested Rumble reviews of the year to go along with the regular redo of last year’s show. We’re nearing the end of the Attitude Era and Steve Austin is back after nearly a year on the shelf for neck surgery. All signs are pointing to Rock vs. Austin for the title at Wrestlemania and there’s nothing wrong with that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at how this is the only chance for a lot of people to become World Champion.

The opening sequence is rather clever as it’s a pole with street signs, each bearing a Rumble participant’s name. The Road to Wrestlemania you see.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Edge and Christian are defending and the story….well it likely doesn’t matter as these teams plus the Hardys feuded for the better part of ever. Thankfully the recap shows us that the Canadians laid both of them out with chair shots to the head on Monday. What a sign of the times that really is. Edge and Christian tease walking out but you know that’s not going anywhere.

D-Von neckbreakers Edge for two to start as Jerry goes over the Dudleys’ family tree. Eh it was better when Heyman did the same thing at Wrestlemania. Bubba comes in and drops a big elbow for two as Lawler makes fun of the concussions. Again, total sign of the times and it’s almost disturbing to hear today. Christian walks into a side slam for two but a forearm to the back of D-Von’s head gives the champs their first control.

A Russian legsweep keeps the head banged up as it’s time to talk about Christian’s hair and teeth. Bubba comes in for a save with Lawler giving tips for how to make the concussion even worse. We get a rare D-Von chant as he tries to fight out of a chinlock. Another neckbreaker gets two on D-Von and Edge stays on the neck. Lawler: “I love it when Edge talks trash.” JR: “Does it keep you aroused?” D-Von gets in half of a double clothesline and it’s time for the slow crawl to the corner.

Like any good villain, Christian distracts the referee so the tag doesn’t count. Instead it’s Conchairto time but the chairs only hit each other, allowing D-Von to clothesline both champions down. NOW the hot tag brings in Bubba and it’s What’s Up to Edge. It’s table time but Christian cuts him off. Edge misses a belt shot and gets rolled up for two. A spear cuts off the 3D though and gives Edge two on Bubba. The champs load up their own What’s Up but D-Von makes the save this time, followed by 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. These teams are always good for a layup and like I said, it’s not like the story really mattered. You could throw any combination of these four and the Hardys out there for a great match and that’s a great thing to have in your back pocket. It’s not like the titles really mattered at this point as the fans wanted to see some combination of these three teams, which the company certainly gave them. The concussion stuff is still a bit rough to sit through though.

Drew Carey arrived earlier today. More on this later.

Also earlier today, Vince clarified that HHH will still get his title shot tonight despite what happened with Steve Austin on Smackdown. What happened you ask? Well again that’s not important enough to mention. Like anyone wasn’t watching the shows at this point though.

HHH doesn’t want Stephanie coming out to the ring tonight but Stephanie says she has to be there to deal with any potential Trish Stratus interference. After listening to Stephanie’s normal levels of acting, we’re joined by someone with some actual talent in that area as Carey comes in. He didn’t know the two of them were married because he’s been a bit busy lately.

Carey talks about running into Kamala recently and HHH tries to get rid of him. Drew understands and is looking for Vince for some tips on his upcoming comedy pay per view. Stephanie leaves with him because she wants to find Trish. Nothing wrong with a little promotion like this and the segment didn’t take long.

The APA talks about showing each other something. Bradshaw: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”. They mean Rumble numbers of course and Faarooq needs two beers. Crash Holly comes in to say he’ll thrown them out tonight even if they’re friends. Bradshaw: “And people say we’re drunks.”

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho. They’ve been fighting over the Intercontinental Title and tonight it’s a ladder match for Benoit’s belt. Most of the video doesn’t even have words but it’s not like it matters. Much like the tag match, you could throw these two and Angle out there with whatever story you wanted and it’s going to get a strong reaction. Again, that’s incredibly valuable to have at your disposal.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit is defending in a ladder match and the fight is on in a hurry. The slugout leads to both guys trying their submission to no avail. Benoit sends him shoulder first into the post as Lawler picks Benoit to win in a blowout. A shoulder breaker stays on the shoulder and Jericho’s springboard dropkick is knocked out to the floor. They’re definitely going with the idea that Benoit knows Jericho very well to start.

The shoulder goes into the post and it’s already ladder time. It’s way too early to climb though as Jericho pulls him off in an electric chair. Jericho rams the ladder into Benoit’s ribs and puts said ladder in the corner. Now you know what’s going to happen and I know what’s going to happen, but since Jericho is a face here, he’s stupid enough to be whipped into the ladder and fall outside again.

Benoit’s dive through the ropes is blocked with a chair to the head (egads that’s tough to watch). A ladder shot to Benoit’s back only hits barricade and now it’s the ladder going off Jericho’s head. Jericho sends him into the ladder back inside before tying Benoit’s leg into the ladder. That means a super Russian legsweep to bring them both crashing down. Benoit goes into the ladder again and Jericho catapults the ladder into his face to make things even worse. These are some brutal, brutal shots here and they keep getting harder and harder.

Jericho starts going up the ladder so Benoit belly to back suplexes him over the top in a heap. They both head up the ladder this time though and Jericho gets the Walls ON TOP OF THE LADDER for one of the coolest and most painful looking spots you’ll ever see. Benoit falls off but manages to kick the ladder over, sending Jericho into the ropes. The Crossface makes Jericho tap (and goes back to the shoulder from earlier) but Jericho’s other arm is still good enough to send Benoit into the ladder.

The ladder is set up in the corner but Benoit knocks him off, setting up a HUGE Swan Dive….which only hits mat. Jericho puts the ladder on top of Benoit for a climb but Benoit shoves it forward, sending Jericho crashing into the top rope. Benoit goes up but Jericho makes the save with a chair to knock Benoit to the floor. That’s too much of a fall and Jericho wins the title.

Rating: A. This is one of my all time favorites as the match is nothing short of brutal and featured some unique spots in there. Sometimes you just need two people to beat the heck out of each other with reckless abandon and that’s exactly what you got here. There’s even some psychology with the arm work and that’s all you could ask for. This isn’t a match that needs a lot of analysis because you get everything you need out of just watching the thing.

Carey meets Trish Stratus who isn’t all that interested when he hits on her (Drew Carey isn’t that bad of a catch actually) because she’s involved with someone. That someone would be Vince, who doesn’t seem thrilled to meet Drew. The pay per view is plugged and Vince has an idea to promote the show: Drew can be in the Royal Rumble! Drew: “I don’t wrestle. Of course I don’t act but I have a show.”

Chyna doesn’t want to hear from Billy Gunn about her match with Ivory. She tells him to worry about the Rumble. I’d worry about being Billy Gunn.

Jericho says he proved Benoit wrong.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory. The Right to Censor gave Chyna a spike piledriver to put her out of action, meaning her career might have been over. Now she’s back to destroy Ivory for what she’s done to them in what should be a squash.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Chyna

Chyna is challenging and hits some quick clotheslines to begin the dominance. A toss off the top keeps it going and Ivory gets stomped in the corner. Ivory gets tossed outside so Chyna follows her into the crowd for the quick stop. Chyna cleans house, including tossing Steven Richards. Back up and a handspring elbow into the corner crushes Ivory….but Chyna collapses and grabs her neck. Ivory gets the quick cover for the pin after no offense.

Rating: D-. Of course the wrestling isn’t the point here as this was an angle disguised as a match. There are only so many ways you can book Chyna vs. Ivory, or Chyna vs. any woman for that matter, and this is the kind of trick booking you have to use. It’s barely a match of course and what we got was nothing worth seeing of course.

Lawler goes in the ring to check on Chyna and Billy Gunn (who comes from opposite the entrance for some reason) joins him. A long stretcher job ensues.

After someone seems to have her neck horribly injured, we go to Stephanie needing her hair fixed. She runs into Trish and things get catty, as expected.

Harvey Wippelman gives Drew some gear when Kane comes in. I think you know where this is going and it’s starting to wear thin.

Tiger Ali Singh and Low Down (D’Lo Brown and Headbanger Mosh in, shall we say, an ethnic gimmick, which is probably more offensive than funny) are arguing over who gets the spot in the Rumble. Vince comes in and says never mind because Carey is getting their spot. This is the kind of detail that makes the entry a lot easier. You’re not left wondering whose spot Carey is taking because the name is officially give. Also, who is going to remember Brown or Chaz in the match as cannon fodder for a big name? Put Carey in instead and give us a fun moment instead. It’s not like it’s going to change anything.

Fans at WWF New York give their picks for HHH vs. Kurt Angle.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. HHH. Angle won the title a few months back but HHH said he could get the title back whenever he wanted it. A few family strings were pulled and Vince’s son-in-law got the title shot. Since Angle couldn’t have a McMahon in his corner, he got Vince’s mistress Trish. This set Stephanie off and the ladies are in a bigger feud than the men. Oh yeah the men don’t like each other either.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending. They fight over the arm to start as JR has to point out that this is heel vs. heel for a really weird setup. Lawler of course would rather talk about the women at ringside (to be fair, Stephanie looks great here). Angle throws HHH outside but the fans think the champ sucks. The signature chant hasn’t started yet so that’s still some fresh thinking.

Angle follows him out for some right hands to the face, only to get sent into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and HHH starts on the knee as the announcers discuss Drew Carey. Lawler actually brings up a good point by saying he made a huge name for himself by piledriving Andy Kaufman. What kind of attention would someone get for taking out Drew Carey? Angle whips HHH over the corner for a big crash and more “acting” from Stephanie. Another whip sends him into the steps and it’s Angle being even more aggressive.

A missed charge allows HHH to wrap the leg around the post though and a chair to the knee makes it even worse. HHH follows it up with a chop block and it’s off to the Indian deathlock. Well you knew he was going to work that one in somehow. The Figure Four follows up and JR is talking about all the things Gordon Solie would say about the hold. Trish tries for a save but Stephanie pulls her out for the catfight. Vince comes out to break it up as HHH looks on. Maybe getting some ideas for later?

HHH finally snaps back into it and drops some elbows on the leg. A DDT cuts HHH off though and a bridging German suplex gets two. Kurt goes up but gets low blowed, followed by a Razor’s Edge of all things for two more. You know it’s serious when HHH is using the Kliq moveset. Angle is back up with a suplex and the moonsault, only to bang his knee up some more.

They head outside and the ref gets bumped, with Lawler referring to Hebner as one of his best friends. Back in and HHH goes up, allowing Angle to run the ropes for a super armdrag. There’s no referee so HHH grabs the belt but walks into another suplex. Naturally the Pedigree connects for no count so here’s Austin to lay HHH out with a belt shot.

Rating: B. A little too much overbooking for my taste but the ending makes sense given HHH costing Austin the title a few weeks back (which the announcers finally bothered to mention after the match was over). Angle retaining is fine too as HHH vs. Austin doesn’t need the title and we can get to Rock vs. Austin at Wrestlemania that much easier. Angle still isn’t quite capable of hanging move for move with someone like HHH but he’s certainly able to do enough to cover up his few faults. The fact that he was only about fifteen months on the main roster at this point is almost scary.

The Rock, looking a little stoned, compares the Rumble to a big pot of jambalaya: there’s a bit of everything in it. The big question is whether the Undertaker and Kane are together and you know Rock isn’t letting an easy line like that get by. After talking about Undertaker tickling nipples, Rock says the Rumble could come down to him and anyone from Bull Buchanan to Perry Saturn to Steve Austin. He’ll win either way. Standard Rock here, with crazy charisma and presence without saying anything more than “I’ll win and don’t care who I have to beat”.

Long recap video on the Rumble. Does this really need an explanation? A bunch of people are in and about 25 five of them are kidding themselves into believing they could win.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals this year so they have a lot of time. Jeff Hardy is in at #1 and Bull Buchanan (of the RTC) is in at #2. Buchanan throws him into the corner but gets punched up to the top for his efforts. That goes nowhere so Matt Hardy is in at #3 in one of those old Rumble tropes. It’s kind of amazing how often this happens isn’t it? Buchanan is tossed without much effort and a fist bump gets us ready for the brother showdown. Matt can’t get him out in the corner so a suplex drops Jeff instead. Faarooq is in at #4 and it’s time to run over some Hardys.

Poetry in Motion into the Twist into the Swanton is enough to dump Faarooq though and it’s back to two. There go the shirts (and the schoolgirl cheers) as it’s time to slug it out. Drew Carey is in at #5 and the Hardys don’t even bother stopping their fight this time. They actually eliminate each other and Drew climbs in, much to the fans’ appreciation. Then the clock runs down and it’s Kane at #6, giving us the only thing JR could possibly say: “Oh my God oh my God oh my God.”

Drew tells the Hardys to get back inside and save him as Kane takes his sweet time in a logical move. Carey keeps up the intelligence by offering cash but it’s Raven coming in at #7 with a kendo stick for the save. In the smartest thing he could do, Carey eliminates himself and manages to not have died.

I’ve said this before but that’s one of the best celebrity appearances in WWE history. He came in, he did his thing, he took a spot from a nothing wrestler who would have been tossed in short order and we get a fun moment. About nine months earlier, WCW took a lesser celebrity and made him the World Champion. Now which of these two did things the smart way?

Anyway we’re on to the hardcore section now with Raven spraying Kane with a fire extinguisher, only to have Al Snow jump the gun at #8 and attack Raven from behind. The buzzer, uh, buzzes, and it’s Snow coming in legally this time. That means a bowling ball between Raven’s legs with JR saying it seems like a hurricane blowing through New Orleans. I’ll be leaving that one alone as the hardcore guys beat the heck out of Kane.

Perry Saturn is in at #8 with Lawler and JR losing their minds over Terri’s top. Saturn starts in on Kane’s knee as there are weapons all over the ring. Kane has finally had it with this getting beaten up thing and slams Saturn down but everyone gangs up on him to get Kane down. Then reality sets in that they have to get him back up and throw him over the top. There’s a reason these guys are stuck in the hardcore division. Steve Blackman is in at #9 and WHAT A COINCIDENCE THAT IT’S ANOTHER HARDCORE GUY! I know the line is it’s completely random but these things get hilarious at times.

The brawling continues until Grandmaster Sexay is in at #11. Weapons are swung until Kane has enough of the nonsense and eliminates Sexay with the trashcan. Everyone else follows him out and Kane is alone to face the Honky Tonk Man of all people at #12. For some reason he decides to ask Kane to stand back so we can have a song. One guitar shot later and Kane has his sixth elimination in about four minutes. Again: great usage of a legend there, if nothing else just to give the fans a breather and a transition between the sections of the match.

That next section begins with the Rock coming in at #13 so the slugout can begin. They knock each other down in short order though and it’s Goodfather in at #14….and being eliminated in thirteen seconds, counting entrance. Kane chokes Rock on the ropes with JR getting in the….I’m not sure what the right adjective is but he calls Kane a carnivore and Rock a big piece of Rock Burger.

Tazz is in at #15 and manages to last even shorter than Goodfather. Rock can’t get Kane out either so he settles for a Samoan drop. It’s Bradshaw in at #16 and both Kane and Rock are clotheslined down in short order. Rock takes Bradshaw down but walks into a clothesline from Kane as things stay slow (fine in this case as Rock and Kane have been fighting for a few minutes now and Bradshaw is getting beaten up by both of them). Albert is in at #17 and gets double teamed by Kane and Bradshaw.

Lawler of course asks about Trish and Stephanie with JR cutting him off as fast as he can. The four pair off but no one is eliminated until Hardcore Holly is in at #18. Rock has to survive an elimination attempt as Albert bicycle kicks Kane down (that looked impressive). A running clothesline takes Bradshaw down (for a change) but Rock can’t get Kane past the apron. K-Kwik (R-Truth, who is somehow STILL AROUND seventeen years later) is in at #19 and is promptly stomped in the corner.

Rock can’t get K-Kwik out (Seriously?) and it’s Val Venis in at #20, giving us Kane, Rock, Bradshaw, Albert, Holly, K-Kwik and Venis. The brawling continues with no one coming close to an elimination until William Regal is in at #21. Bradshaw manages to hang on this time as it’s Test in at #22 to keep filling the ring up. Regal is tossed to keep things even though with JR saying he was molested.

The returning Big Show is in at #23 to get rid of Test and K-Kwik, followed by chokeslams to Albert and Bradshaw. Venis and Holly go up and down next, followed by one to Kane for a BIG pop. Rock is smart enough to kick him low though and a spit punch eliminates Show in short order. That was quite the sequence and has the fans right back into things after a bit of a lull. Smart booking, again. Show isn’t done though and loads up the announcers’ table as Crash Holly is in at #24.

The chokeslam puts Rock (not eliminated) through the table and the fans are quieted again. Everyone left in the ring goes after Kane but it’s Undertaker in at #25 to save his brother. The ring is cleared in all of thirty seconds and it’s Kane vs. Undertaker in a staredown with Rock still down on the floor. Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #26 and I’m not even going to bother describing his painful experience. Undertaker and Kane look at the ramp for the next entrant and it’s Steve Austin in at #27….only to have HHH jump him in the aisle.

Rock gets back in to fight the giants as HHH sends Austin into the barricade, busting him open somewhere in there. With Austin down on the floor, Billy Gunn is in at #28. Right hands abound but Undertaker and Kane stomp Rock and Gunn down into the corners. Undertaker DDT’s Rock and punches him in the head but it’s HAKU (the reigning WCW Hardcore Champion but not under contract because WCW WAS STUPID) in at #29.

Austin is still down on the floor and my goodness that’s a lot of blood. Undertaker and Kane beat on Haku, who is nice enough not to eat them. JR and Lawler get in an argument over Austin being attacked because of course they do and it’s heel Rikishi in at #30 (which was already announced). Austin is up to hammer on him in the aisle though and we have a final grouping of Austin, Kane, Undertaker, Rock, Rikishi, Haku and Billy Gunn. Right hands and a clothesline get rid of Haku and we’re down to six.

Undertaker chokeslams Rikishi and sends Rock to the apron but hurts himself headbutting Rikishi. A superkick actually gets rid of Undertaker in probably the biggest success of Rikishi’s heel run. I mean, it’s also one of the only ones but it counts. For some reason Rikishi tries the Bonzai Drop on Rock, earning himself one of the dumbest eliminations of the year. We’re down to four as Undertaker’s motorcycle revving is rather distracting. Gunn hits a Fameasser on Austin and is eliminated for general purposes.

Rock gets in a DDT on Kane and finds himself in an opposite corner from Austin, meaning we have the modern Hogan vs. Warrior moment. The Wrestlemania preview is on and you can actually see the fans standing to watch it. There’s a Stunner to Rock and the Thesz press to Kane, followed by a low blow. A Rock Bottom cuts Austin off but Rock sends Kane through the ropes by mistake.

The big time slugout is on again but Kane comes back in and dumps Rock. Now THAT is a big deal for him…yet he was in a triple threat hardcore match at Wrestlemania. Wrestling is funny that way. Kane chokeslams Austin, only to walk around for a bit. A low blow gives Austin a breather so Kane grabs a chair. No worries though as a Stunner and some chair shots send Austin to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This was the Rumble formula at a very high level with Austin not being a lock to win here (Rock was very much an option) and Kane as the story throughout the match. There were also some long sections in there, along with several stories being set up for the future. The company was on a roll at this point and it’s no shock that the Rumble was excellent as well. Great stuff here and one of the best ever.

Overall Rating: A. When the worst part of the show is an angle disguised as a match, it’s pretty clear that you have a winner. The Rumble and the ladder match here are both top notch and it’s no surprise that things are rolling along as well as they are here. The company was just on a roll at this point with no turning back (until they managed to botch the biggest storyline in wrestling history but that’s a story for later). Just a great show top to bottom here with the only weak spot being a three and a half minute match. That’s some pretty sweet territory and the amazing thing is Wrestlemania blew this away.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B-

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A

2013 Redo: A+

2018 Redo: A

Ivory vs. Chyna

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

It always interests me when the first and third ratings are the same and the middle is different. Still though, great show all around, as it always has been.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/20/royal-rumble-count-up-2001-drew-carey-could-go-to-wrestlemania/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2001-two-masterpieces-in-a-row/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 10, 2008
Location: Bradley Center, Madison, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a special three hour show as we have Wrestlemania Rewind. In this case that means every match will be a Wrestlemania rematch, which could make for some interesting combinations a few years after the original matches. Other than that, either Randy Orton or HHH will be in charge tonight, which isn’t fair to the other two when they get two hours each. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Ric Flair to get things going. Last week, Shawn Michaels came out here and said that he was going to stop Flair’s show at Wrestlemania. That means Flair needs Michaels out here right now in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Cue Shaw, with Flair saying that is the best entrance in wrestling today. When Flair got started, the idea of sympathy did not exist and if he can’t compete in the ring with people like Shawn today, he doesn’t to do this anymore. Flair wants to be a franchise player and someone who can beat someone like Shawn on his best day.

Shawn brings up the “to be the man” line, because at Wrestlemania, he IS the man, and Flair’s career is ending. No matter what happens, the show is going to get stolen. Before Wrestlemania though, Flair has a 3-1 steel cage match against Edge and…uh, his Edge guys. Now Shawn’s Friday nights are usually reserved for Dora The Explorer, but he’ll make an exception this time. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt, calling this a touching, touching moment. Orton is in charge tonight, so we’ll have HHH vs. Kane and Shawn vs. the man he couldn’t beat last year at Wrestlemania: John Cena.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Casket match. Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline to continue the fast opening. Old School is loaded up but Henry pulls him into a bearhug. With that not working, Henry clotheslines him to the floor, where Undertaker lands on his feet and pulls Henry outside. A whip into the corner slows Undertaker down again so he rams Henry into the casket. Back in and something close to a World’s Strongest Slam gets Henry out of trouble, only to have Undertaker pull him into the choke. That’s enough to knock Henry out and put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D+. That might be the shortest casket match I can remember and it felt like a way to have Undertaker on the show in some fashion. There was nothing to this one as Undertaker more or less squashed him in a hurry. Granted that’s how it should have been, but this wasn’t the most interesting option.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. and company are here.

Boxing people talk about Big Show vs. Mayweather Jr.

Earlier today, HHH talked about being ready to get the title back because it is two years in the making. Cena, Orton, game on.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay

They were in a Money in the Bank ladder match before so this counts as a rematch. Hold on though as JBL pops up on screen to say he’ll beat up Finlay so bad that he’ll be in a bed next to Hornswoggle. The bell rings and Finlay beats on him with the shillelagh for a DQ in about fifteen seconds.

Post match the beating continues and Finlay knocks him silly.

WWE is doing something with Make A Wish. Apparently John Cena does a lot with the charity. Like him or not, that is another level of work.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending. JR: “One has to wonder what Chris Jericho’s motive is in this match.” Lawler: “To win the Intercontinental Title and be the champion.” They get on with the brawl (based off of some issues on the Highlight Reel a few weeks back) early until Jericho clotheslines him over the top.

We take an early break and come back with Hardy hitting the dropkick through the ropes. Hardy’s barricade running clothesline only hits announcers’ table though and things slow down a good bit. Back in and Jericho bends the back over his knee before kicking Hardy in the head. Hardy finally fights up and hits something like a Sling Blade, plus a Whisper in the Wind for two.

They go to a pinfall reversal sequence until Hardy misses some kind of flip. Jericho’s high crossbody is rolled through to give Hardy two but the Twist of Fate is countered. The Lionsault gives Jericho two but he misses the running enziguri, allowing Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate. Hardy misses the Swanton though and it’s a Codebreaker to give Jericho the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but the last few minutes were what you would expect from these two. Hardy has been on a bit of a downward slide at the moment, as at some point he has to actually win the bigger matches. Winning the Intercontinental Title doesn’t mean much for him, but it does give Jericho a needed boost. Good match too, at least once things really got rolling.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. US Express

Hold on though as Jillian Hall is here for her own version of Born In The USA. That earns her the airplane spin from Mike Rotunda, as we have no match (thank goodness).

Next up for the Hall of Fame: the Briscos. Yeah that works, and as usual the old footage is great.

Video on Big Show.

Kane watches a clip of HHH beating him at Wrestlemania XV. We’re still allowed to talk about that one? Anyway, Randy Orton comes in and wants Kane to hurt HHH tonight but Kane doesn’t want a history lesson.

HHH vs. Kane

Kane slugs him into the corner to start but HHH punches his way to freedom. Back up and Kane takes it outside, where HHH reverses a whip into the post. Kane slugs away back inside and kicks HHH in the face, only to charge into a spinebuster. The facebuster staggers Kane again but the Pedigree is countered. As Randy Orton comes out to watch, HHH slips out of the chokeslam and hits the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. They kept this VERY simple and to the point, as HHH gets to beat up the monster clean. Then again it isn’t like Kane is worth much at the moment and has just been kind of going through the motions. What matters here is HHH though, as he gets the big win and builds momentum towards Wrestlemania, meaning they accomplished the goal.

John Cena talks about how important Wrestlemania is. It’s the reason why he worked so hard to come back from his injury so soon, because Wrestlemania is what matters more than anything else. He respects Randy Orton, but it is going to be a fight to be the best. Cena’s time will come again.

Melina vs. Ashley

Beth Phoenix is here with Melina but there’s no Ashley, as she is hurt. We have a replacement though.

Melina vs. Maria

Beth Phoenix and Candice Michelle are here too. Maria charges into a boot in the corner to start as the shrieking is on to start. Now it’s Santino Marella coming out to watch, complete with a copy of Maria’s Playboy. Santino rips it up for a distraction, allowing Melina to hit a reverse DDT for the pin.

Post match Beth helps Melina beat the other two down.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. He has a lot of money.

Here is Shane McMahon for the official Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. weigh-in. Mayweather weighs 159lbs and Show weighs 441. Show isn’t interested in the photo, but he does bring up Mayweather’s posse. Instead he brings out his own posse in the form of the locker room. Show points out that no one here likes Mayweather and promises pain at Wrestlemania. Mayweather pulls out cash, smells it, and talks about how he respects Big Show.

As the WHAT treatment goes on, Mayweather says Show has to catch him to hurt him. Show takes the case and hands it to some of the wrestlers so Mayweather promises to break Show’s jaw at Wrestlemania. Everyone goes to leave, but Show grabs Mayweather and throws him over the top, onto a bunch of the wrestlers. Mayweather comes up favoring his shoulder and runs to the back with everyone else going behind him.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Randy Orton says he’s HHH and John Cena plus more rolled into one. Wouldn’t that get a little cramped?

Edge vs. CM Punk

Non-title and the Edgeheads are here with Edge. Punk kicks him in the face to start but walks into a hot shot for his efforts. Some strikes don’t work very well for Punk but he is fine enough to fight out of a suplex. A knee to the face and some kicks set up the springboard clothesline for two on Edge. That earns Punk a quick DDT from Edge but Punk is back up with the GTS attempt. Cue the Edgeheads for a distraction though and the spear gives Edge the pin.

Rating: C. Punk has taken a few hits as of late and doesn’t seem to have much going in the way of momentum. Granted some of that might just be due to feuding with Chavo Guerrero for weeks on end, but losing to Edge isn’t quite as bad. Punk certainly has the talent, and now all he has to do is put the pieces together to make it work

Here is William Regal to talk about the Raw vs. Smackdown match between Umaga vs. Batista. Regal isn’t worried about Batista, which sends us to a video on Umaga. As Regal talks about how he pities Batista at Wrestlemania, here is Batista to interrupt. The fight is on with Batista hitting the spinebuster to send Umaga running.

Vince McMahon is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

They trade hammerlocks to start as we talk about their history against each other. Neither can get very far until it’s Cena trying to get the STF, sending Shawn to the floor and us to a break. Back with Cena cranking on the arm until Shawn swinging neckbreakers his way to freedom. Cena gets tossed over the top and it’s time to start in on the knee back inside.

A quick AA attempt doesn’t work as the knee gives out, with Shawn chop blocking Cena to damage the knee even worse. Cena is fine enough to kick Michaels into the corner though and the clothesline comeback is on. The Shuffle connects but the FU is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence.

They collide for a double knockdown and a breather, allowing Shawn to hit the flying forearm. The top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but Cena grabs the foot. That’s fine with Shawn, who pulls him into that reverse Figure Four. With that broken up, Cena is sent outside and Shawn hits a dive, only to have Randy Orton run in to deck Cena for the DQ.

Rating: B-. These two are always going to work well together so the quality was hardly a surprise. It also helps that they got some time, but Orton running in was the best way to go given how strong both of them need to be going into Wrestlemania. It’s no classic, but Shawn vs. Cena in any form is at least worth a look.

Post match the RKO onto a chair is countered into a shove onto the chair, setting up the FU to drop Orton.

We cut to HHH in the back, who is in charge next week. Therefore, next week it’s John Cena and Randy Orton teaming up to face….the entire Raw roster. Oh boy.

Overall Rating: C. The nostalgia was fun, but it was also pretty limited, with some random rematches and cameos, plus some rematches that only kind of took place originally. I can go for an old school show, but this wasn’t exactly their best effort. They’re making me want to see Wrestlemania though so they are getting the big picture right.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: March 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

Wrestlemania is less than a month away and that means we should be seeing some of the lower level matches starting to come together. Most of the card is already set with Undertaker vs. Edge feeling like a huge match. Other than that we have Batista vs. Umaga in a Raw vs. Smackdown match and Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. in a match that could go on either show. We’ll need more than that so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Vickie Guerrero and Edge, with Teddy Long in the corner, on the Cutting Edge. After praising Vickie, Edge talks about how he has never lost to Undertaker, making him the real Phenom. Vickie makes Edge/the Edgeheads vs. Undertaker for tonight, which Edge finds very hot. With that out of the way, there is someone else who is going to be losing his 35 year career at Wrestlemania.

That brings us to tonight’s guest, so here is Ric Flair. Edge welcomes him to the show but wants to know what it’s going to be like when Flair loses at Wrestlemania. Flair promises to beat Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania but Edge doesn’t exactly sound convinced. Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Flair: “Your fans are talking to her.” Edge asks Flair about losing to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, which Flair says is something you never forget.

Losing to Undertaker didn’t hurt his career, but he came at it differently. Edge is the one with a sham of a relationship, which sends Vickie into a rant. After calming her down, Edge says Flair needs to watch the handicap match tonight, because he’ll have his own next week. Oh and let’s make that a cage match. Edge WOOs in his face but gets slapped, with Flair bailing from violence.

CM Punk/Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero

That’s quite the good guy team. Festus clears the ring at the bell until we settle down with Miz vs. Punk to start. Miz manages a quick hot shot and brings in Chavo, who gets backdropped just as fast. Jesse comes in for a backdrop and basement dropkick but Morrison shoves him off the top. This has Festus ready to smash but we take a break instead (probably a good idea).

We take a break and come back with Morrison working on Jesse’s arm. That doesn’t last long either as Jesse slips away and hands it off to Festus to clean house. Everything breaks down with Jesse and Punk hitting dives onto Morrison and Chavo. Back in and the fireman’s carry flapjack gives Festus the pin on Miz.

Rating: C. What else were you expecting here? The good thing is that we didn’t have to sit through too much more of Chavo vs. Punk, as that is a match that has been driven into the ground in recent weeks. Other than that, Miz and Morrison get beaten again, even if it is from a team that is little more than a one off idea. Just find some more interesting challengers for both titles. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Jamie Noble is in the back with Michelle McCool and says he knows she has a thing for him. Noble gets it, but he’s a one woman man. She’s ok with it, and seem to have thought the same thing as Noble.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending. They fight over a lockup to start with Batista powering him outside without much trouble. Back in and Batista knocks him outside again, though this time he follows him out to keep up the beating. They get back in with Batista starting in on the leg for a change, including a half crab. That’s enough for MVP to bail to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Batista hitting a running corner clothesline but MVP kicks the leg out. A running boot to the head, with the bad leg, gives MVP a bit of a desperation two and we hit the chinlock. Another kick to the leg takes Batista back down and a facebuster, on the bad knee, gives MVP a delayed two. It might not sound logical, but commentary is selling the idea that MVP is desperate to fight Batista so it does make some sense.

MVP kicks him out to the floor for another two and we’re off to a leglock to keep Batista down. Back up and MVP misses the running boot in the corner, allowing Batista to come back with the swinging Boss Man Slam for two. The spinebuster crushes MVP, whose low blow is blocked without much effort. They fight outside with Batista keeping up the beating, but MVP kicks him into the announcers’ table and beats the count to win.

Rating: C+. Well, at least MVP didn’t lose again. This screams setup for another match, hopefully where MVP can retain the title by pinning Batista, likely through some kind of shenanigans. These two got some time here and it was a decent match, though Batista in the US Title scene feels so out of place and it’s hard to fathom in a lot of ways.

We look at Hornswoggle being beaten down again.

Jamie Noble interrupts Edge and Vickie Guerrero, saying he wants a match with Chuck Palumbo. Vickie is annoyed so she gives him Big Show instead.

Mae Young Hall Of Fame video.

Kim Kardashian will be the guest hostess at Wrestlemania.

And now, a Divas swimsuit contest, featuring Eve Torres, Cherry, Maryse, Michelle McCool and Victoria. Apparently this is the first week of a four week competition to determine the Top Diva on Smackdown with one woman being eliminated each week. Not only will the winner get bragging rights but they will also win a….custom motorcycle? They all disrobe (Cherry looks nervous and Victoria dances badly) and we get the results next week because this is another Diva Search style contest. Oh and a fight breaks out because of course it does.

Video on Rey Mysterio being injured and having to undergo bicep surgery.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Palumbo is back with some right hands of his own. A clothesline gives Palumbo two but Kane grabs the side slam. Palumbo tries to headbutt his way out of the chokeslam, only to get chokeslammed for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Palumbo was trying here but we are way beyond the point of him meaning anything. The feud with Jamie Noble worked for a little while and then just went on for so much longer than it needed to that it killed any momentum. Kane is getting back on a roll and there is no reason to have him be in any major threat from Palumbo here.

Big Show vs. Jamie Noble

Show throws him into the corner and gets kicked low for the DQ in short order.

Show shrugs it off and chops Noble down before promising to end Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s career at Wrestlemania.

Raw Rebound.

Undertaker vs. Edge/Edgeheads

Undertaker beats up Hawkins to start and throws him into the corner, allowing Ryder to come in and get beaten down as well. Edge certainly seems nervous as Undertaker kicks Ryder in the head. A cheap shot cuts Undertaker off though and Edge gets to hammer away for a bit. The Edgeheads take turns splashing Undertaker but Edge’s swinging neckbreaker is countered into a DDT. Old School is loaded up but a distraction means that it has to be switched into a top rope armdrag (ok then). The Edgeheads distract Undertaker again though and Edge hits the spear for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was quick and to the point here but at least Edge finally got something over on Undertaker. You can only have Undertaker beat him up every week for so long before it stops having any real impact. There is almost no way that Undertaker is leaving Wrestlemania without the title, but at least they are putting on a good story on the way there.

Edge and Undertaker glare at each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They were going up and down this week and that wasn’t the most thrilling show. Undertaker vs. Edge is good and Batista vs. MVP, while not a long term story, is doing well enough, but stuff like the women fighting over a motorcycle isn’t exactly thrilling. Get rid of some of the lame parts and the better portions can take over.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Note that this was written live in 2010 and the quality is far, far below what I would have today.  I apologize in advance.

Over the Limit 2010
Date: May 23, 2010
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It seems like we’re STILL on the same angles as we were on at Mania. I’m not sure if that’s good or not. Allegedly tonight is Batista’s last or one of his last appearances with WWE. I’m not so sure if that’s the case or not but with the gimmick match tonight, it’s certainly possible. Also on the card tonight we have Swagger vs. Big Show in a match I truly can’t predict but on instinct it’s Swagger. That all being said, let’s get to it.

We have a Spanish announce team. That’s rather odd for this day and age.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

Could Drew’s music be sweeter? So remember the idea here is that Drew got stripped of the belt and Kofi won a tournament for it. Drew got it put back on him because Vince likes him. This is the big showdown for it I guess. Drew jumps him early as Striker thinks we need to know that it’s been eleven years since the title has changed hands in Detroit. Ok then. The fans are all over Drew who is dominating early.

Apparently most people don’t like working with him which is odd. I guess you can tell more when you’re in the ring though. That makes more sense at least. Smackdown has definitely been having the better in ring stuff lately and this shouldn’t be an exception. Drew does one of those idiotic spots where he jumps into Kofi’s feet when he puts them up. What the heck was that supposed to be? The set might look cool but I can’t tell.

There’s this weird kind of spotlight thing going on from the end of the arena behind the announcers. It’s rather odd and looks like 6 lights coming off of it. Boom Drop in the corner of all places hits. Ok then. Trouble in Paradise misses and the SOS gets a clean pin. Wow did not see that one coming.

Post match Drew gets on the mic and says the show doesn’t keep going until he’s declared champion by Teddy Long. Instead we get Matt Hardy to an ERUPTION. Seriously it’s been like two weeks not 4 months. Twist of Fate puts Drew down.

Rating: B-. Not bad for an opener I guess. Kofi winning is kind of a surprise but I’d bet on Drew being pushed higher up on the card or into something against Christian or someone like that. Anyway, Kofi doesn’t need the title really, but then again neither does McIntyre. This worked well enough I guess and wasn’t bad at all. Not up to their TV stuff but not bad at all.

Punk is looking in a mirror and says he’s awesome. Tonight Mysterio goes straightedge. Luke hugs him which is kind of awkward.

We recap Ted DiBiase vs. R-Truth. This is a simple but effective feud. What more can you ask for? In short, Ted wanted Truth to be his Virgil.

Ted DiBiase vs. R-Truth

Truth’s entrance is awesome. I’m not a fan of him but I have to give him that one. The real Virgil is here with him instead. You can’t beat that for old school guys. Striker says rich people are better. Amen to that brother man. We even get a Virgil chant. WOW. Cole says that DiBiase paid a couple of guys a few weeks ago to take out R-Truth. One was Carlito. That’s rather amusing.

We get a Harley Race impression from about 1983 and the bounty to take out Flair. I love obscure references like that. Truth busts out a Downward Spiral. I hate that move. Virgil looks more or less exactly the same as he used to. That’s either really impressive or bad. This is really sloppy. Truth…kind of hits the Lie Detector (spinning forearm) for the clean pin. That was bad. Virgil gets the Million Dollar Belt and tries to wake up DiBiase, despite the forearm grazing him at best.

Rating: D. Not very good and just SLOPPY. The stuff came off as weak looking and just all over the place. I didn’t like what I was seeing and the Truth pin just came off as from out of nowhere, which isn’t bad I guess.

Drew goes into Teddy’s office and says change the decision. Drew destroys the office and a picture of Martin Luther King. Never mind as he doesn’t wreck the picture.

We recap the Punk/Rey feud. More or less, Punk wants Rey in the SES. Rey says they’re hypocrites. This is one of the matches I have no clue on, which is the point I guess.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

All outside parties are banned here, which makes me think Masked Man messing things up somehow. Rey is in yellow tonight which makes him look stupider than usual somehow. Punk jumps him to start. That’s my boy. We get into a semi-Master/Slave dialectic from Lawler. That was bizarre but an essay on that got me through a college class. In a SICK spot, Rey gets thrown into the barber’s chair at ringside. That seriously HURT.

Punk is cut open too so they have to stop the blood flow. Can we get Linda in the Senate already? Rey looks at something under his wrist tape for some reason. The match stops for like three minutes because of this. We get an EPIC boring chant and Punk goes off. Seriously, a trickle of blood is ok. Stopping a PPV for that long because of a cut like that is idiotic. I’ve never seen Punk snap like that and I loved it.

Rey hits a sunset flip powerbomb for two. They crank it up and they both get a bunch of near falls. We get some weird dueling chants that I can’t quite make out. GTS of course doesn’t work. Punk gets a corner powerbomb though. Nice one. Punk kicks Rey’s head off. GTS is reversed again and Rey hits the 619. Springboard Splash misses though and this is a good match.

And then we get the same pin that HHH beat Jeff Hardy with at some PPV where Rey rolls him up off a sloppy pin. I hate Vince. Punk is busted open again. Here comes Gallows and Serena and I hope I don’t know what’s coming. They have handcuffs. And here’s….KANE? What the HECK? Punk is handcuffed and gets his hair cut. I hate WWE sometimes. I truly do.

Rating: B+. I really liked this match. I hate the booking, but the in ring stuff was great. There were all kinds of great back and forth things going on here with the great near falls. I can’t blame them for the cut thing as that’s a company decision. Also Punk just going OFF after that was great.

Ad for Fatal Fourway with all championships being in the title of the show style of matches.

Jericho makes fun of Show and Miz sneaks up on him which doesn’t work. Show threatens to know Jericho out, wake him up and knock him out again. This was funny.

And now let’s have a trailer for Prince of Persia.

Unified Tag Titles: Hart Dynasty vs. Chris Jericho/The Miz

There’s not much to say here at all. It’s not bad but it’s ok I guess. Natalya is solid as a manager. They say that on Monday when Hart won the US Title he was in his homeland. They make it sound like he came from an island nation with like four people on it. It’s a very standard tag match which is both good and bad I suppose. Kidd takes the Walls and the Codebreaker off a springboard. It just wasn’t a very good one. Somehow that only gets two. Wow.

Jericho goes off and yells at Kidd to stay down. That was kind of amusing. We’re getting a lot of near falls here. Miz and Jericho yell at the referee A LOT. Natalya trips Jericho and Smith hits the powerslam for the LONG two. This started slow but has gotten a lot better.

Skull Crushing Finale is blocked but Miz gets a rollup and the tights for two. VERY good match here. I’m very surprised. Miz does his running clothesline into the corner but Smith catches him to set up the Hart Attack. NICE match with a SWEET ending.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I expected to. Like I said it started slow but it picked WAY up soon after that. The clean retaining surprised me very much actually but it’s certainly a good thing. They needed that for some credibility and I’ve very glad they didn’t do the switch to another random tag team. Nice match and a very pleasant surprise.

We recap Edge vs. Orton which is just that Edge turned heel again and had a great segment on Raw to set this up. This is the most hyped show on the card. Not sure if it’s going to live up to it. I doubt it will actually.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

They try to talk down the pop that Orton gets for no apparent reason. Orton goes for no tape again which is his new look I guess. Nothing wrong with that. Orton dominates early as would be expected I guess. Edge takes ove and the match is decent enough I guess. Edge hooks a body scissors and the fans think it’s boring. Orton reacts and counters with elbows to get a HUGE RKO chant going. Orton hits the elevated DDT to a huge pop.

The lack of tape thing is working for me. Spear is blocked by a kick. This crowd is NUTS for Orton but his arm is hurt from earlier. Hey we got some psychology in there! Orton might be legit hurt. Yeah he must be. We go to the floor and Edge misses a spear. This has to be legit. At least I think it is. Oh dear.

Rating: C-. What we got is what I’m grading it on as it’s pretty clear that wasn’t the planned ending. Orton was doing his mat slap thing and just stopped dead. Also no way that was going to end in a double count out. Until then it wasn’t that good but it did ok.

We recap Swagger vs. Show which you can read the Smackdown review if you want the story on.

Smackdown World Title: Jack Swagger vs. Big Show

This is another one where I don’t know how it’s going to end. Show uses some wrestling here and Swagger’s look is great. SHOW DOES PUSHUPS! Somebody get that boy a Twinkie before he passes out! Swagger goes for the leg and that doesn’t work. Show keeps coming back. After some boring stuff, Show sets for the chokeslam…..and Swagger blasts him in the head with the belt for the intentional DQ. WOW.

Well they went old school with that so I can’t complain. Two belt shots and Show gets up. A chair shot doesn’t work either and Swagger takes a chokeslam. So the world champion can’t put a guy down with two belt shots and a chair. Right. Show drops him with a punch again. Pay no attention to Swagger opening his eyes to make sure things are going right.

Rating: D. It was short and the ending completely sucked. Swagger looks weak after losing to Kofi on Monday. He’s also lost to Morrison and Orton. Is there a point to him being champion? Yes he’s champion, but he’s another weak champion. It’s a good bit annoying but that’s WWE for you. They’ve been awesome lately so I can’t complain much I guess.

We recap Batista vs. Cena and Batista says he’ll make Cena say he quits.

Raw Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Eve Torres

This is better than I’d expect it to be actually. This has gotten some great build over the past few weeks and due to a lack of matches they have to give it a lot of time. Maryse randomly starts crying for no adequately explained reason. We actually get some near falls. Eve hits some messed up face plant into a rollup for the pin. Cole, Striker and Lawler make jokes about Eve and just lose it on commentary.

Rating: C-. For what you had to work with here and given what Divas matches tend to be, this was actually decent. I tend to start most Divas matches at a D or so, meaning this was pretty good. There was some actual drama and Eve won with a nice finisher. Solid little match.

We recap Batista vs. Cena which is about 3 months old now. Mainly it’s about Batista being mad about getting Duct-Taped to the post to lose last time.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

Batista has a mic and asks Cena if he wants to quit right now. Batista says the words I Quit but for some reason that’s not the end of the match. Cena of course blasts him with the mic. He has a chair within seconds. Some hero eh? Cena gets the split chants again. You can’t argue the guy gets people talking. The problem here is you don’t have to watch the first 20 minutes or so here as nothing is going to happen.

Batista hits the spear if you want to call it that. The fans are awesome tonight. Batista hooks his Rings of Saturn kind of thing but puts far less pressure on it. Cena stands up to get out of it and there’s the STFU. Ropes don’t count for breaks here. Batista passes out in the hold. Some animal indeed. In Austin vs. hart that would be enough. Not here I guess though. Cena gets some water and wakes him up. Ok, now HOOK THE HOLD AGAIN.

Cena won’t quit off a spinebuster. So Batista takes about 9 hours to set up the two tables on the floor and Cena just lets him. I can’t say I blame him though as it’s a breather for him. Batista gets a powerslam through one of the tables and Cena is cut BAD. Let’s get an EMT out there as we can’t have blood in an anything goes match! This is idiotic. We head into the crowd for a bit now and walk forever.

I guess they wanted to get away from the doctors. Cena is told to quit or he’ll be thrown over. Cena has to answer apparently. Or what? He’ll get water thrown on him? Idiotic line if there ever was one. Cena fights out of it and they fight on the barrier up there. Dangerous looking spot and Batista falls all of 6 feet onto some people. Shockingly, that doesn’t end it. I’m glad as if they didn’t it would have sucked to say the least.

They fight up to the entrance near some cars. I wonder if that’s how it ends. Cena won’t quit and the crowd POPS. Batista gets in a car which of course has the keys in the ignition and he runs into Cena and the set which shoots off some sparks. Apparently he didn’t hit Cena as he’s up and fighting. Striker says Cena had to have moved since there’s no other way to explain that. FU onto a 78 Camaro and he won’t quit.

Cena grabs the mic and says he was really hoping Batista would say that. They go on top of the car and Batista quits to avoid the massive FU. Of course he gets it anyway and goes through the stage. Post match Cena celebrates and the graphic in the corner pops up and they say good night but Sheamus kicks his head off as he turns around to really end it. I like that.

Rating: B. This was good. I don’t think anyone believed Cena was going to lose here which is fine. He went over as strong as possible and Batista looks like a defeated man if that’s the end of his run with the company. Either way this was a solid match and a solid way to end the show. It was over the top but that’s fine. Now, KEEP THEM APART.

Overall Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. And before anyone jumps on me and says I overreacted to Punk/Rey, heck yes I did. I don’t like Rey and Punk is my favorite wrestler. It’s part of being a fan so shut up with the whole biased arguments. Heck yes I’m biased. Anyway, this show just wasn’t very good.

The best way I can put it is unnecessary. This show was unnecessary. Nothing of major note happened other than Punk and Rey. There was some solid wrestling on the show, but there was just too much that didn’t work for me. Having literally no heels win is just a weird thing to do. This show isn’t as bad as people are saying, but it wasn’t good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 4, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re still on the Road to Wrestlemania and somehow, again, we’re getting CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero for the latter’s ECW Title. This is setting a new standard for trying to squeeze every last drop out of an idea and there absolutely cannot be much left to wring out of the feud. Maybe tonight can wrap it up for good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at the last month or so of CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero, because the feud is so long that you can trim it down like that.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Miz/John Morrison vs. Colin Delaney/Tommy Dreamer

Delaney and Dreamer are challenging after beating the champs in a non-title match last week. Dreamer and Miz start things off with Miz being taken down rather quickly. A Quebecers’ Cannonball hits Miz for two but he’s right back up to drive Delaney into the corner. Morrison comes in for the springboard spinning kick to the head but Delaney manages to kick him away.

The tag brings in Dreamer to a rather nothing reaction and a neckbreaker out of the corner for one on Morrison. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on but Miz makes the save, knocks Delaney to the floor and hammers Dreamer down. That’s too far for Delaney, who grabs a chair and cleans house for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Yeah this wasn’t much to see and that’s because there was no way the titles were going to change here. Delaney and Dreamer are some teacher/student deal and it is getting better over the weeks, but that doesn’t mean they were ready to become champions. Points for making someone new though, which has been lacking around here for a good bit.

Post match Dreamer looks stunned but also rather pleased with the violence. Ignore Delaney costing them the title shot.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Stevie Richards

Benjamin’s original Ain’t No Stopping Me Now music is gone, taking away one of the catchier themes from the era. Richards grabs a headlock to start but Benjamin pulls him out of the air for a shoulder breaker to take over. An armbar and them a figure four arm lock (Tazz’s words) keep Richards in trouble.

Benjamin elbows him in the face and grabs the same arm lock as things grind to another halt. Back up and Benjamin jumps to the top, only to miss a high crossbody. We get some weak SHELTON chants as Richards makes the comeback, including an enziguri for two. That’s too far for Benjamin, who hits the jumping Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was as interesting as Benjamin working the arm for two minutes out of less than five was going to be. The new Benjamin is just so lame with the gold hair and the weaker music, but at least they’re pushing someone who still has some star power. Also, so much for Richards’ push, but I don’t know what kinds of legs it had in the first place.

Post match Benjamin promises to win Money In The Bank.

We recap the reveal of Maria’s Playboy cover.

Kofi Kingston and Kelly Kelly are admiring the Playboy cover, with Kingston saying she could be a Playboy cover girl. With that kind of creepy line out of the way, Layla comes in to yell at Kelly about Playboy wanting Layla instead. Catfighting ensues, likely over who could be a worse actress.

Kane vs. James Gibson

Before the match, Chuck Palumbo, who is facing Kane on Smackdown, rides to the ring on his motorcycle. Not that it matters as the chokeslam finishes Gibson in about thirty seconds.

Raw Rebound.

CM Punk talks about how Chavo Guerrero claims to be a warrior, but there is one Guerrero who is a warrior and it isn’t Chavo. Punk talks about the things he’s done to Chavo and promises to regain the title tonight.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero is defending. Feeling out process to start as Chavo takes him into the corner, only to get rolled up for a fast two. A hammerlock slam sets up an armbar from Punk, which is quickly reversed into a headlock. With that broken up, Punk tries a springboard but gets knocked out to the floor in a pretty nasty crash.

We take a break and come back with Chavo working on the leg, including a chop block to cut him down again. The leg is wrapped around the post and Chavo seems rather confident. We hit the leg crank but Punk manages to use the good leg to kick Chavo outside. Back in and Punk grabs an armbar, only to have Chavo pull him into a half crab. The rope is grabbed so Chavo plants him with a tornado DDT for two instead. Punk catches him going up but gets knocked back down, setting up the frog splash to retain the title.

Rating: C+. They’re done now right? Chavo has beaten Punk multiple times now and this one was completely clean so the feud is over. There is nothing left for these two to do with each other and it is time for both of them to move on. I’m not sure what that will mean for Chavo, but Punk is more than ready to move up to one of the other shows.

Overall Rating: C. This show is in need of a fresh tank of gas as they seem to be running on empty. Miz and Morrison vs. Delaney and Dreamer is the second biggest story on the show and that has the shelf life of some week old bread. Other than that, you have Benjamin minus the fun stuff and Kane warmed up for something on Smackdown. What does that leave for this show? Decent main event this week and nothing else.

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Smackdown
Date: February 29, 2008
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We are just over a month away from Wrestlemania XXIV and most of the top of the card is set. That means that the following weeks can be for a mixture of firming up the main events and building up the lower half of the card. That can include quite a few things and we’ll start this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the Wrestlemania press conference.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Joey Ryans/Jay Garland

Ryans is….well I think you can guess and this is Show’s first WWE match in over a year. We hear about Show wanting to be a boxer but not being able to get anyone to take his fights. Garland gets chokeslammed and Ryans gets punched in the corner. A right hand knocks Ryans silly for the easy pin.

Post match Show talks about how Floyd Mayweather Jr. may be facing Oscar de la Hoya in September. It’s just a rumor, and Show is here to stop that rumor. Show is going to break everything in Mayweather, including his spirit. There isn’t going to be a Mayweather vs. de la Hoya fight, but Show vs. de la Hoya is possible. That $20 million that Mayweather is getting for the Wrestlemania match (right) isn’t going to be enough for the pain he’ll be experiencing.

Deuce N Domino vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Yang and Domino get things going with Domino missing an elbow drop so Yang can grab a headlock. Moore comes in and gets hit in the face a few times before headscissoring Domino into the corner. Back up and Domino sends Moore HARD out to the floor (that was a scary landing), setting up something like a seated abdominal stretch back inside.

Commentary argues about old westerns and whether Asians can be rednecks (oh dear) as Domino pulls Moore down by the hair and knocks Yang off the apron. Not that it matters as the hot tag goes through a few seconds later, with Yang getting to clean a few rooms. The moonsault press misses though and Cherry pulls Moore off the apron. That leaves Yang to slip out of a belly to back suplex and now the moonsault press can connect for the pin on Deuce.

Rating: C. I’m glad to see Yang and Moore sticking around a bit longer, as they have been a rather nice little bright spot between here and ECW. I’m not sure what that is going to mean for them in the long term, but at least they are doing something for the time being. Deuce N Domino….yeah how long were you expecting a greaser gimmick to last? Maybe having them actually do something as champions might have helped.

Edge and Vickie Guerrero make honeymoon plans, with Edge thinking Canada. Vickie loves Canadians but the Edgeheads interrupt their romance. That’s ok with Edge, who sends Zack Ryder after Undertaker tonight.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

Yes, AGAIN and Michelle McCool is here with Noble. Palumbo misses a charge into the corner and Noble strikes away before pulling on an armbar over the ropes. Back up and Palumbo dumps him to the floor without much effort but a McCool distraction breaks up whatever Palumbo has planned (probably some kind of wrestling move).

They head back inside with Palumbo hitting an overhead belly to belly superplex for two, leaving Palumbo stunned. Noble manages a Fujiwara armbar until the rope is grabbed, allowing Palumbo to hit a hard slam. An enziguri sends Palumbo into the corner for a Cannonball but he rakes Noble’s eyes across the top. The Overdrive finishes Noble off.

Rating: C. The more I watch these matches the more I believe WWE has just forgotten where they were going with the story but keep it going for lack of anything better for the two of them. Palumbo is still his old, not that interesting self and now Noble, who has been the good guy in the whole thing, is a loser. What else is there for these two to do? And it isn’t like McCool has gained anything either, making this quite the waste of time.

Vickie Guerrero is in the back with Teddy Long and Maryse, with the latter praising Vickie until Batista comes in. Batista has heard about this Raw vs. Smackdown challenge and wants to face Umaga. Maryse likes the idea (and maybe Batista) so Vickie sets the match.

Batista/Kane vs. MVP/Great Khali

Feels like they pressed the random button in Smackdown vs. Raw. Kane and Khali start things off with Khali pounding him into the corner. MVP comes in and gets backdropped, setting up the basement dropkick, which always feels weird from Kane. It’s off to Batista, who charges into an elbow in the corner.

Kane is right back in to big boot MVP down for two as commentary thinks we’ll be talking about the recent Elimination Chamber match for years to come. I wouldn’t get my hopes up on that one. The spinebuster plants MVP but Khali breaks up the Batista Bomb as we take an early break.

Back with Khali shoving Batista down and sending him outside without much trouble. Khali runs him over again back inside and actually covers for two, showing more mobility than usual. Batista gets over for the tag off to Kane to fire off on Khali in the corner. This lasts all of five seconds before Khali knocks him backwards. MVP comes in so Kane grabs him by the throat, earning a chop from Khali on the apron (makes sense).

The cravate doesn’t hold Kane down for very long as he powers up and slams MVP down for a breather. MVP cuts him off with a kick to the head though as this heat is getting some time. Kane finally knocks MVP down though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. Everything breaks down and Khali chops Batista right back down, only to have the Vice Grip reversed into the spinebuster. MVP makes the save so Batista spears Khali down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a near shockingly good match as they worked the formula and got some time, making it into a match where I wanted to see how it ended. What mattered the most here though was MVP didn’t take the fall, which had me worried throughout. Khali has nothing going on at the moment and thankfully WWE realized he should be taking the pin.

Eve Torres comes out to introduce High Chief Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson for the Hall of Fame, with the Rock inducting them. I get that she has to do something, but the Hall of Fame announcement (even one repeated from Raw) doesn’t feel exactly right for someone who has been around for all of a few months.

Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison

Non-title but before the match, we get a clip from the Dirt Sheet with a completely genuine conversation between the teams, which makes Jesse & Festus sound a bit dumb. The bell rings and Festus jumps Miz and Morrison before sending the former into the corner for a running shot to the face.

A headbutt lets Jesse come in with a middle rope elbow and even knock Morrison off the apron. Miz gets smart by taking a breather on the floor and Jesse gets taken down back inside. That lasts all of a few seconds as an easy escape sets up the hot tag to Festus. House is cleaned and Festus sits on Morrison’s chest and grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. The champs lose again (after losing on ECW to Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney), which is far too common of a trope in WWE. At least Jesse and Festus are a bit better team, but it isn’t like they’re the next great thing. Other than the good looking flapjack, there wasn’t much to be seen here, especially after that rather awesome…Khali match?

Raw Rebound.

Big Daddy V vs. Balls Mahoney

Matt Striker is here with V. Mahoney gets beaten down to start and there’s the swinging Boss Man Slam. The corner splash and Samoan drop crush Mahoney….and there’s the Undertaker’s gong. The lights go out and Undertaker POWER WALKS to the ring (egads) to beat V outside. Mahoney gets chokeslammed too as it’s a no contest because DQ’s are passe or something.

Post match Undertaker says death waits for no man, so Edge needs to send his minion to Undertaker’s yard.

Undertaker vs. Zack Ryder

Edge and Curt Hawkins are here too. Ryder bails to the floor to start and a distraction lets him get in a few cheap shots. That earns Ryder a hard posting and there’s the kick to the side of the head. The beating continues back inside before Undertaker throws him over the top in a heap. Ryder tries to come in off the top but Hawkins has to save him from a chokeslam. Some right hands in the corner just annoy Undertaker so he throws Ryder into the corner to hammer away. Snake Eyes into the big boot set up the chokeslam and choke, which is enough to draw Edge in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. More or less a squash here for Undertaker and that’s all it needed to be. A heel like Edge has minions for a reason and Undertaker got to wreck one of them on the way to Wrestlemania. Ryder is nowhere near ready to be a challenge to Undertaker so this went as it should have gone. It doesn’t make it interesting, but it was logical.

Post match Undertaker is having none of this and beats up the Edgeheads, including the choke to Hawkins. Undertaker holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Undertaker vs. Edge is starting to feel like a big deal and that is how a major Wrestlemania match should come off. The match got another hard push here and when you add in….Great Khali having the match of the night…..it was a pretty decent show. They need something else to build up aside from Edge vs. Undertaker, but they still have a few weeks to make that work.

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Smackdown
Date: February 22, 2008
Location: Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’re done with No Way Out and Edge is still the World Champion, meaning he is set to defend the title against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. That could be in for a long build and the question now is what else will be on the Wrestlemania card. They have some work to do to get it ready so let’s get to it.

Here is No Way Out if you need a recap.

We look at Undertaker winning the Elimination Chamber to become #1 contender.

Opening sequence.

Here are Edge and the Edgeheads to get things going. Edge brags about retaining the World Title at No Way Out because the three of them hurt Rey Mysterio last week in Chile. Now he is on to Wrestlemania to face the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, where Edge wants to cement his legacy by ending the Streak. Edge has his own Wrestlemania undefeated streak and something has to give. He goes against the impossible and succeeds, which is why he will succeed.

For fifteen years, everyone has asked who will finally defeat the Undertaker (eh, more like the last seven or eight) and he will not fall. This year it all ends because he is that man. Then the gong strikes and here is Undertaker to beat up the Edgeheads, who offer enough of a distraction for Edge to escape. Perfectly fine first segment for the feud.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Shelton powers him into the corner to start and drives some shoulders to the ribs. Yang fights out, only to get buckle bombed HARD into the corner. The chinlock goes on for a bit before a t-bone suplex cuts off Yang’s comeback. A backbreaker keeps Yang in trouble before Benjamin puts him up top. Yang shoves him away, only to have Benjamin jump up to the top for an overhead belly to belly superplex.

Another buckle bomb is countered with a hurricanrana and a spinning headscissors drops Benjamin again. The running spinwheel kick in the corner sets up a high crossbody for two on Benjamin, followed by a sunset flip out of the corner for the same. That’s enough for Benjamin, who avoids the moonsault press and hits the jumping Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: C. Yang is a good example of someone who has been built up well enough to be a bit of a headache for Benjamin. There was no way Yang was going to get in a match like Money In The Bank, but at least they didn’t have the match be total dominance. This was a completely watchable match and that’s more than I was expecting.

Teddy Long runs into the returning Maryse, who says she hasn’t been around for a long time. She would like to ask him something….in his office.

Jesse And Festus vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Festus headbutts Deuce down to start and it’s off to Jesse for a drop toehold. Jesse sends him outside but a Cherry distraction lets Domino get in a cheap shot. We hit the chinlock back inside (with Jesse looking like he is tapping) before Jesse is draped over the top for a forearm to the back from Domino. Back up and Festus adds a headbutt from the apron, allowing Jesse to hit his own headbutt. That’s enough for the hot tag to Festus so house can be cleaned in a hurry. A Rocket Launcher finishes Domino.

Rating: C. Festus is a fun act, but you can only get so much out of the idea of Jesse does a regular match and then tags Festus to wreck things. That doesn’t have the longest shelf life and it is already starting to lose steam. Festus has something with the idea, but there is only so much that can be done with what is basically a one man team.

Raw Rebound.

Video on the South American tour.

Big Daddy V. vs. Shannon Moore

Matt Striker is here with V. Moore gets shoved down to start and his kicks just annoy V a bit more. The swinging Boss Man Slam plants Moore and V sends him flying again. A missed charge lets Moore kick away a few times until V runs him own. The really big elbow finishes Moore off.

Rating: D+. If WWE insists on pushing V as the monster over and over, he needs a win like this every so often. This was almost a total squash and Moore probably got in more than he should have. Moore getting crushed isn’t a bad thing, but V has lost so much that it has me wondering how many more times they can keep reheating him.

MVP vs. Batista

Non-title. During his entrance, we get an inset promo from MVP, saying Batista can’t beat him twice in a row. Batista drives him into the corner to start before going with a boot into MVP’s banged up back. MVP manages to send him face first into the buckle though and a forearm to the back of the head drops Batista for a change.

The running big boot to the side of the head knocks Batista off the apron and MVP hammers away back inside. We hit the chinlock so Batista fights up, only to get sent right back to the floor in a bit of a surprise. The front facelock goes on back inside, setting up a facebuster for two on Batista. That doesn’t last long though as Batista is back with three straight spinebusters and the Batista Bomb finishes fast.

Rating: C. Oh yeah MVP is in that bad place, as he is losing over and over again while still US Champion. In other words, WWE seems to think that he is bulletproof and that means he is going to lose more and more. Why Batista needed to beat him again isn’t the most clear concept, but I would bet on a reaction of “oh well” as they move on.

We get a medical update on Hornswoggle after he got beaten down so badly on Raw. Naturally we see the beatdown, which commentary describes as so horrible.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Kane slugs away to start and gets hit in the face for his efforts. Khali gets knocked back into the corner but a clothesline of his own puts Kane back down. The slugout continues with Kane hitting an uppercut but getting caught going up top. We hit the nerve hold and then the Vice Grip but Kane kicks off the corner and falls backwards for the pin.

Rating: D. It was a bunch of punches and chops before the fluke ending to keep Khali looking strong. Kane was trying here but what exactly is he supposed to do in a situation like this? Khali continues to be so limited in the ring, but much like Big Daddy V, it stops meaning anything when he loses over and over again.

Video on the Streak.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Matt Jackson

Yes that Matt Jackson and Palumbo runs him over with a clothesline to start. Jackson hits a dropkick as Michelle McCool is watching in the back. Palumbo knocks him to the floor for a fall away slam, followed by a clothesline back inside. The Full Throttle finishes Jackson fast.

Here is Rey Mysterio for an update on his health. Rey gets right to the point: he has a torn bicep and needs surgery. Unfortunately the surgery will take place this weekend, so he won’t be at Wrestlemania. If this is the last time that he is going to be in the ring for a long time, there is no better place to be than in San Diego.

Cue Vickie Guerrero to say she doesn’t care if Rey is hurt because he ruined her moment last week. We see Rey “accidentally” hitting Vickie with a springboard seated senton last week and Rey still isn’t very sorry. Vickie doesn’t want to hear it, but Rey has a match RIGHT NOW, injury or not.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title. Chavo charges at him to start and hammers away with Rey falling around the ring. Rey manages a hurricanrana but gets faceplanted to cut that off in a hurry. We take a break and come back with Chavo working on the arm. Rey even has to go to the ropes to escape, leaving Chavo to baseball slide him to the floor. Back in and Rey manages another headscissors, setting up the running seated senton off the apron.

Chavo catches Rey up top back inside, only to get knocked down to set up a top rope seated senton. The basement dropkick gets two more and the 619 has Chavo down. Rey’s arm won’t let him hit the springboard though, allowing Chavo to catch him on top. Three Amigos have Rey in trouble but he avoids the frog splash, allowing Rey to come back with a sunset flip for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Given Rey’s injury, this went about as well as it could have gone. That being said, it doesn’t say much when Chavo, the reigning ECW Champion, knew this was coming and was healthy but still lost anyway. WWE already hasn’t exactly made ECW look good and now it is even worse with this latest development as Rey is on the way out.

Post match Vickie says it’s her turn to hurt Rey….so here is Big Show to lay Rey out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Edge vs. Undertaker is going to be fine but they didn’t exactly do anything to start another feud here. Rey was written off due to his injury for the sake of crushing him in his hometown, but we knew he was already heading off for surgery. Throw in a bunch of pretty ok at best matches and there just wasn’t much worth seeing as we start the Road To Wrestlemania.

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Fatal 4-Way
Date: June 20, 2010
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

Believe it or not, the main matches here will be a pair of fatal fourways, because WWE is very original.  In addition to the title matches, there’s a major story going on at the same time. Back in February, ECW had been replaced by a new show called NXT. This was a competition show between eight rookies, all of whom had banded together after the season ended and invaded Raw. They’re still lurking around and it’s not clear what they’re going to do tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the World Title matches with a special feature on Kane, who is looking for whoever recently attacked the Undertaker and is basically accusing everyone in sight.

Here’s Vince McMahon to open the show and tell us that Raw General Manager Bret Hart will not be here tonight thanks to an attack at the hands of the NXT rookies on Monday night.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

Kofi is defending and McIntyre is a Scottish wrestler and has been dubbed the Chosen One by Vince. McIntyre has also been treating Teddy Long like trash because he can have Teddy fired (that happens to him WAY too often). We see Vince leaving in his limo before Drew tells Teddy to get out here right now to hand Drew the title when he becomes the new champion. Kofi starts fast with kicks to the ribs and a clothesline to send Drew outside. Considering all the jumping and high flying, Drew is smart enough to go after the let to take over.

That lasts all of ten seconds before it’s off to the arm, which leads to a bit of an argument between Lawler and Striker. Lawler: “That’s why you’re a schoolteacher Matt. Maybe after the show we can go out and conjugate some verbs together.” Several armbars set up a Codebreaker onto the arm but Kofi spins around into a DDT to put both guys down. Kofi speeds things up with a dropkick and spinning cross body out of the corner for two.

The Boom Drop looks to set up Trouble in Paradise but Drew kicks Kofi in the face instead. The Futureshock (double arm DDT) is countered with a springboard tornado DDT for two on McIntyre. Kofi hammers away in the corner but Drew comes out with a running powerbomb for two of his own. Kofi gets the same off the SOS so Drew throws him into the referee. Drew sends the good shoulder into the post before hitting the Futureshock for no count.

With no referee, Drew goes outside and gets Teddy to put on the referee shirt. Teddy makes the count but stops at two, FINALLY standing up to McIntyre. Drew loads up another Futureshock but Matt Hardy, who Drew has been going after as well, for the Twist of Fate. Kingston gets up (after being down from that one DDT for the better part of two minutes) for Trouble in Paradise to retain at 16:29.

Rating: B. I liked this one quite a bit with the story building up towards the ending and Teddy advancing his own story with Drew at the same time. Kofi is rapidly becoming a modern Tito Santana, as in someone who can have a good match with anyone you put him against. McIntyre should have been a much bigger deal and I could easily see him becoming a big star in WWE.

The Hart Dynasty is glad that their uncle Bret signed the Usos and Tamina so they can have the best competition. Tonight they’re dedicating the match to the injured Bret who taught them to do their best in the ring every time.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres

Eve, a fairly non-descript but talented worker, is defending. Fox grabs a great looking northern lights suplex for two on Gail and everyone goes for unsuccessful covers. Fox gives Gail a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and it’s time to double team Eve. Gail comes back in with a Black Widow to Alicia as Eve grabs a cross armbreaker on Maryse. In the wacky submission of the match, Eve grabs a camel clutch on Fox while Gail puts her in a Boston crab at the same time, only to have Maryse make a quick save.

Fox is up WAY too fast from the hold for a showdown with Maryse but Gail comes back in to dropkick both of them down. Since Matt Striker is Matt Striker, he calls it a Jumping Bomb Angel double stomp. Eve grabs a fisherman’s neckbreaker on Maryse and adds a moonsault, only to have Fox throw her outside and pin Maryse for the title at 5:43.

Rating: D+. This was your standard “here are four women in a way to change the title without the champion getting pinned” match and that’s perfectly fine. Fox wasn’t much in the ring but she had charisma and could be a good foil for someone down the line. The divisions really needed to be merged back together at this point though as there was a lot of talent on Smackdown but not enough on Raw, which is why the whole two titles thing didn’t work here.

Big Show isn’t worried about Rey Mysterio tonight because he’s too small. Rey says his heart is bigger than Show’s fist.

Evan Bourne vs. Chris Jericho

Bourne beat Jericho via DQ in a big upset earlier in the week so this is the rematch. Before the match, Jericho says everyone under the age of 25 is watching for him and everyone above the age of 25 knows they’re still watching because of him. For some reason he isn’t the buzzword around here anymore with his NXT rookie Wade Barrett having more people talking than him.

Jericho has always been fighting uphill in WWE and no matter how much he’s fought, no one is going to understand this because they’ve never been the best in the world at what they do. He has a target on his back and Evan Bourne is the latest to take a chance on Jericho. It’s fitting that Bourne uses the shooting star because his career started bright but is going to fade out tonight.

Jericho clotheslines him in the corner to start as Striker talks about Jericho’s history against smaller wrestlers like Dean Malenko and Rey Mysterio. Now THAT is the kind of thing you should use someone like Striker for, not coming up with ridiculous nicknames that no one is going to remember in ten seconds. The fans are behind Jericho as he shoulders Evan down for two.

Bourne avoids a charge and sends Jericho outside for a big plancha. The springboard dropkick knocks Evan off the apron though and things slow back down. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Bourne comes back with his quick kicks. A German suplex gets two for Jericho and he grabs the Walls to put Evan in real trouble. Bourne makes the ropes and the fans actually boo the break. They head outside with Jericho being sent into the steps, followed by Evan’s top rope double knees for two.

The Lionsault misses and Evan kicks him in the face but it’s too early for Airbourne. Instead the Codebreaker gets a delayed two for Jericho and shock quickly sets in. Back up and Jericho misses a charge to give Evan a quick two, followed by a tornado DDT. Airbourne is broken up twice in a row before the third attempt finishes Jericho at 12:04.

Rating: B+. Now that’s how you make someone look big. I know Jericho will put over almost anyone in wrestling but it’s the kind of badge of honor that shows you can go somewhere else. Bourne more than kept up with him here and showed he had more than just the shooting star. Really good match here and Jericho’s downward spiral continues.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Jack Swagger is defending after cashing in Money in the Bank just after Wrestlemania. Undertaker originally qualified for this but someone beat him down and left him in “a vegetative state”, because just saying “he got beaten down” was a bit too complex. Kane has promised to find who did it (gee I wonder who it was) and thinks it might have been the four people in this match. They all deny it but Kane isn’t convinced. The title and the setup for the match aren’t even mentioned here as it’s ALL about Undertaker and Kane.

Smackdown World Title: Jack Swagger vs. CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show

One fall to a finish, Swagger is defending and Punk is now under a mask after having his head shaved. Punk is also the leader of the Straight Edge Society but his minions Luke Gallows and Serena are sent to the back before the match. Swagger and Punk go after Mysterio to start but Punk bails before Big Show can get over there. Punk is easily slammed down and Mysterio starts going after his mask.

The champ is sent outside as well, leaving us with the Big Show vs. Mysterio showdown. Rey tries to fire away and has as much success as you would expect. Mysterio bails to the floor and is palmed back inside by the head. Swagger comes back in as Lawler suggests that Show has put on weight. Mysterio actually dropkicks Show down for two and the Vader Bomb gets the same for Swagger. Punk and Mysterio stomp Swagger in the corner but the champ drops them both for two on Rey.

We get a double arm crank on Mysterio and Striker thinks it might confuse him enough to submit. Instead it’s reversed into a 619 attempt but Punk makes the save with a springboard cross body for two. Things settle down with Punk striking everyone not named Big Show. Swagger is right back up and German suplexes both of them at the same time because he can. It’s time for Big Show to remember that he’s in the match though and house is quickly cleaned all over again. Mysterio is sent to the floor and the other two are crushed in the corner.

Show realizes he’s thrown everyone to the floor so he goes out after them, only to have Mysterio dropkick the steps into his knees and hit a 619 around the post. Back in and Punk hits a GTS on Swagger for no cover…..and here’s Kane with a casket. Kane looks at everyone and throws Punk to the floor for a chokeslam into the casket. Gallows comes out for the save so Kane chases Punk off, leaving Rey to give Swagger the 619 and drop the springboard splash to win the title at 10:28.

Rating: C. The match was watchable but it felt like a long time until we got around to Kane interfering to work on that storyline. If nothing else it gets the title off of Swagger, who never fit as a World Champion, mainly because his only accomplishment before this was an ECW Title reign over a year earlier. But hey, he won Money in the Bank and that makes him main event material apparently.

John Cena isn’t worried about the NXT rookies but he thinks the four men in the title match will be ready for them.

We look at Miz taking the US Title from R-Truth in a fatal fourway on Monday in case you didn’t get the concept yet.

US Title: The Miz vs. R-Truth

Miz is defending and has his own version of R-Truth’s rap on the way to the ring, including managing to rhyme blossom with awesome. The champ bails to the floor to start as Striker says this is style vs. substance though he won’t say who is who. Back in and Miz takes him down as we hear about how titles can change hands in a fatal fourway. The fans chant for the recently fired Daniel Bryan as Miz works on an early chinlock. Truth is sent outside and then into the post for a nine count.

Back in and Miz gets two off his running corner clothesline before slapping on a bodyscissors. A running knee to Truth’s ribs gets no cover so Miz slaps on a seated abdominal stretch. The ribs are damaged even more with a snap suplex but Truth kicks him out of the corner and hits a middle rope dropkick. Truth’s suplex into a Stunner gets two as the crowd is just not caring at all. Back up and Miz drops him ribs first over the top rope before getting two off a neckbreaker. Truth misses a high cross body and crashes down onto his ribs, allowing Miz to grab a rollup with a handful of tights to retain at 13:23.

Rating: D. This was LONG with the ribs injury never going anywhere and Miz not exactly looking motivated throughout. It just wasn’t very good but I’d much rather them have the singles match here instead of doing yet another fourway to really hammer the concept in even harder. Nothing to see here though and it felt like it went on forever.

Edge thinks Cena is running scared because every other champion has lost their title tonight (save Miz of course but don’t worry about the details), Orton probably isn’t recovered from his shoulder injury and Sheamus knows he doesn’t belong in the ring with the three of them. That leaves Edge, who is ready to become World Champion again.

Hart Dynasty vs. Usos/Tamina

The Usos and Tamina are newcomers at this point and this is a pretty natural matchup. The women start things off but it’s already off to Jey vs. David less than a minute in. Hart grabs a headlock and runs him over with a shoulder, followed by a belly to belly for two. It’s off to Kidd for a chinlock which goes nowhere (way too early) so Jimmy comes in and cranks on the arm.

Jimmy charges into a kick to the head for two but Kidd has to deal with both twins at the same time, allowing Jimmy to grab a Samoan Drop to send Kidd into the barricade. Back in and we hit the chinlock as the fans are trying to get into this one but it’s not quite clicking. Jimmy’s superkick sets up another chinlock and Striker tries to convince us that it’s a potential submission hold.

The running Umaga Attack gets two in the corner and it’s time to go back to the chinlock. A second running Umaga Attack misses but Jey breaks up a hot tag attempt. Instead it’s off to Natalya, meaning Tamina has to come in as well. Natalya’s Michinoku Driver gets two and everything breaks down. Kidd dives over the top onto both twins, only to have Tamina crush Natalya with a Samoan Drop. The Superfly Splash misses worse than any I’ve ever seen and Natalya hits a discus lariat for the pin at 9:29.

Rating: C-. I’m having flashbacks to the 2005 era with these matches that belong on Raw but are getting about ten minutes of pay per view time and not going anywhere. I’m not sure why you would have the newcomers lose like this but maybe it was something about paying tribute to Bret, who really didn’t need it in the first place. As usual it’s not a bad match but it just didn’t need to be here.

We recap the Raw World Title match, which actually focuses on everyone involved in the match for a change and not someone who isn’t on the card.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Cena is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Sheamus came up to the Raw roster near the end of 2009 and won the World Title in a shocker at Tables Ladders and Chairs by defeating Cena in a tables match. They stare at each other to start before it’s down to Cena vs. Orton (a face again for the first time in years) in less than forty seconds. Well I’m glad they kept it took their time here.

Neither guy can hit their finishers as Sheamus comes back in to stomp Cena down. Edge comes in to help him with the beating as the LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chants begin. As you might expect, Edge turns on Sheamus and grabs a rollup for two. Orton finally remembers that he’s in the match as he breaks up whatever Edge was loading up on the top. Randy keeps going and clears the ring out until Cena pulls himself back up to the apron.

We get the slow circle stomp but Orton misses a knee drop, allowing Sheamus to come back in with an ax handle to take Randy down. Cena hammers away on Sheamus but can’t get an AA. Sheamus can’t hit the Celtic Cross (Razor’s Edge) either and here’s Orton to DDT both of them. Edge comes back in and kicks Orton in the face, only to eat the shoulders from Cena.

Now it’s Orton again to come in and clean house but Sheamus sends him outside. Cena does the same to Sheamus as Striker talks about inertia. Edge gets caught in the STF until Sheamus dives in for a save. The Edge-O-Matic drops Sheamus (some thank you) but Cena comes back in to try an AA. That’s broken up as well so Orton grabs the RKO on Cena, only to have Sheamus pull the referee out.

There’s the spear to Orton but Sheamus Brogue Kicks Edge and gets two on Orton. Edge and Orton fight on the floor and we conveniently cut to the back where the NXT rookies attack some wrestlers watching the match. The NXT guys come to the ring and lay out everyone, allowing Sheamus to cover Cena and steal the title at 17:27.

Rating: C+. So they basically followed the previous match’s formula down to the ending but added eight minutes. If that’s really the best they can do, it’s no surprise that this show is as forgotten as it is. The action wasn’t bad here but they didn’t really hide the fact that this was the ending we were waiting on. Putting the title on Sheamus is smart though as Cena will be busy fighting the NXT guys so have the title do something else at the same time.

Post match, Cena takes a beating, including a Superman Punch, from the NXT guys. Sheamus poses on stage with the title and gets chased off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It really is difficult to have both World Titles change hands on the same show and still feel like nothing happens. That’s the way I’d sum this whole thing up: two hours and thirty two minutes went by (yes we’re back to that again) and almost nothing happened.

This felt like a big episode of Raw with some title changes and that’s not enough to warrant a pay per view. The NXT guys were a nice idea but this was one of the first steps, meaning fans would have paid to see the opening of a long story. World Titles changing hands is a big deal but they both felt like minor notes compared to the angles attached.

On top of that, what kind of an idea is Fatal 4-Way for a pay per view? When you see the matches on Raw this often (including six days before this show), it’s really hard to find the interest to pay for a show centered around such a simple concept. It’s just a boring concept and the definition of something that should have been scrapped in favor of a run of the mill show instead.

Smackdown
Date: February 15, 2008
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,307
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and that probably means we are going to be seeing more between the people involved in the Elimination Chamber. Other than that, Edge vs. Rey Mysterio II needs more of a build, though I’m not sure how much more there is to do with the feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. MVP

Non-title. MVP gets backed into the corner to start before Batista drops him with a shoulder. That’s enough for a breather on the floor as MVP needs a break. Back in and some slams send MVP right back to the floor, followed by a running boot to the head back inside. Batista switches things up a bit by going after the leg, with commentary debating if that is a callback to MVP going after Ric Flair’s leg or just, you know, trying to hurt MVP before the Chamber. The Figure Four would suggest it’s a bit of both but MVP makes it to the rope as we take a break.

Back with Batista driving the shoulders to the ribs in the corner but MVP sends him shoulder first into the post. MVP stomps him down in the corner before getting smart by staying on the arm. The kick to the head gives MVP two and we hit the armbar. They head outside with Batista being sent into the steps but Batista is back with a ram into the apron. Back in and MVP gets smart by sending him shoulder first into the post again. That’s fine with Batista, who uses the good shoulder for a spear. The Batista Bomb puts MVP away.

Rating: C+. I liked the match layout as they had MVP try to wear Batista down for Sunday, which makes sense, but my goodness can we stop having the US Champion get pinned? It’s one of the most annoying things in all of wrestling and it feels like it has been happening on a pretty regular basis as of late. You couldn’t have had him walk out of get disqualified here? That shouldn’t be too much to ask.

Edge gives the Edgeheads a quick and mostly useless pep talk.

Deuce N Domino/Edgeheads vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jesse and Festus

The bell rings and Festus cleans house, as he is known to do. Jesse knocks Ryder down for two and it’s off to Moore, who gets taken into the wrong corner. The beatdown is on and the villains start taking turns beating Moore up. Moore kicks Domino away though and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. Everything breaks down and Yang’s moonsault press finishes Domino fast.

Post match the bell rings and the villains beat everyone down….until Jesse rings the bell and Festus gets to wreck everyone again. Another bell rings calms things right back down.

Vickie Guerrero gets her makeup done in the hopes that Edge pops the question later.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Hold on though as here is Chuck Palumbo to watch and Michelle is shaken. Palumbo revs his motorcycle a lot and Victoria chokes in the corner. Michelle’s superplex attempt is broken up as she is distracted again, allowing Victoria to punch her in the face a few times. They crash out to the floor as the revving continues/grows even louder. Back in and Michelle hits a clothesline but more revving lets Victoria hit the Widow’s Peak for the pin.

Post match Palumbo threatens McCool and Jamie Noble some more.

We recap Undertaker choking people, namely Big Daddy V, out in recent weeks.

Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V, who shoves Undertaker into the corner to start. It works so well that V does it again but Undertaker starts striking away. Undertaker goes to the arm until a Striker distraction lets V get in the rather large clothesline. With Undertaker down on the floor, Striker gets in a kick to the back and V sends Undertaker face first into the steps. After the weird mounting thing, V misses a charge in the corner and gets clotheslined down. Old School connects and a running DDT gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. How many times can Undertaker beat this guy? I think we’ve gotten the point by now, as the video package before the match showed you just how dominant Undertaker has been in this mini feud. I’m not sure why they needed to have V lose clean again here, but it’s not like anyone was buying him as a threat in the Chamber anyway.

Post match Striker yells a lot so Undertaker chokes him out.

Edge is rather nervous.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

No Way Out rundown.

Kane/CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero/Shelton Benjamin

Kane and Chavo start things off and it’s a gorilla press to get things going. I’ll let you figure out who pressed who as Punk comes in to stomp Chavo down in the corner. It’s off to Benjamin, who gets dropkicked down but manages to come right back with a t-bone suplex. Chavo gets launched into a splash on Punk for two and the villains take over. That doesn’t last long either though as it’s back to Kane for the house cleaning. Benjamin saves Chavo from a near fall and gets choked for his efforts, with Chavo having to make his own save. Everything breaks down and the GTS finishes Chavo.

Rating: C. Just a way to get Chavo and Punk in the ring again as that feud continues to exist for reasons of….I guess necessity? There isn’t anyone else for Chavo to defend against at the moment so this is about as good as WWE can do for him. That works for a bit, but the impact falls off when they have fought roughly 184 times so far.

Raw Rebound.

Video on Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon.

Great Khali vs. Finlay

Khali wastes no time in taking him down into the corner for some choking but a neck snap across the rope gives Finlay a breather. Not that it matters as Khali takes him outside and keeps up the beating. Back in and Khali grabs a slam and then a nerve hold, which lasts slightly less long than average. Back up and Finlay avoids a charge in the corner but Khali drops him again. Hornswoggle offers a distraction though and Finlay gets in some shillelagh shots for the pin.

Rating: D+. You can only get so much out of a short match like this one and they didn’t exactly do anything good with it. Finlay beating up Khali with the shillelagh is something that has been done more than once and much like V, there was no reason to believe that Khali was going to win in the Chamber. Finlay isn’t likely going to get much higher than this, but I can go for him being a solid midcard hand who gets a win like this every now and then.

The ring is geared up for the potential proposal. There are balloons, flowers, a string quartet and….well nothing more but do you need anything else? Here is Edge, to some nice string music, and he is looking nervous. Edge talks about how he has never been nervous before but he is really in love. He invites Vickie out here, with Teddy Long getting to push the wheelchair again.

With Teddy gone, Edge says the World Title meant a lot to him, but there is something more important. Edge proposes and gives her the ring, which gets him a yes. Cue Rey Mysterio to interrupt and say he hopes that Vickie drops the Guerrero name. Edge threatens to put Rey in the wheelchair if he doesn’t apologize right now so Rey gets in the ring and apologizes in Spanish. Oh and he’ll win the title on Sunday. The fight is on and the springboard seated sent hits Vickie by mistake. Rey is….sorry? Maybe? Eh Vickie getting humiliated is always worth a look.

Overall Rating: C. Oh yeah they need to get past No Way Out fast because this isn’t exactly working. There is only so much that you can do with the same people doing the same stuff over and over, even if it does at least build things up for the Elimination Chamber. Rey vs. Edge is rapidly turning into Rey vs. Vickie and that is only going to get them so far. It wasn’t a bad show, but it’s a show that is going to need a pit stop really soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: February 8, 2008
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

We are getting close to No Way Out and the Smackdown Elimination Chamber match. That should be enough to carry the show, though there is also a Royal Rumble rematch between Edge and Rey Mysterio for the Smackdown World Title. Tonight is likely going to be about building towards those matches so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Michael Cole brings out Batista for a chat to start. Batista says his experience in the Chamber is his strength because he knows what it is like. There is going to be a ton of monsters in that Chamber but here is MVP to interrupt. MVP says Batista has never been in the Chamber with him but Batista promises violence, especially for what MVP did to Ric Flair. Now it’s Big Daddy V, with Matt Striker, to interrupt.

V feels differently about who is going to win the Chamber with Striker promising violence. Yeah yeah V is big and heavy in case you didn’t get the idea. Then Great Khali, with Runjin Singh, comes out with the latter saying Khali will win. Then Finlay, with Hornswoggle, comes in to say he’s here to fight. Then Undertaker pops up and the good guys clear the ring, likely setting up a six man tag. As soon as MVP came out, you knew what the next eight or so minutes was going to be, especially if you watched Raw where they did the same thing.

Wrestlemania is coming.

Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

Rematch from ECW where Kane won by countout. Before the match, Shelton says there ain’t no stopping him now. Kane hammers him down in the corner and hits a basement dropkick to keep Benjamin in trouble. A missed charge sends Kane into the corner though and Benjamin hits a Blockbuster for a delayed one.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Kane is back up with some shots to the face to start the comeback. The top rope clothesline sends Benjamin outside where Kane gets posted. They head up to the apron with Shelton going up top. Kane uppercuts him back to the mat….and doesn’t beat the count to give Shelton the win.

Rating: C. That’s definitely a creative ending but it came after a pretty standard match. Kane vs. Benjamin sounded like a match that should have been rather good but for some reason neither of their tries have gone very far. It also doesn’t help that they don’t have much going on at the moment so they’re just matches for the sake of filling in time on various shows.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

Yes, again, but this time Michelle McCool is here with Jamie. Palumbo kicks him in the face to start and hammers away, only to miss a top rope elbow. Noble knocks him outside but Michelle isn’t sure about having Noble stomp away. A dropkick knocks Palumbo off the apron again but sends a diving Noble into the motorcycle (OUCH). Back in and Full Throttle finishes Noble.

Rating: C-. That crash onto the motorcycle looked good but my goodness it is hard to care about this story in any other way. Palumbo just isn’t that interested but Noble continues to do everything he can to make this work. They need to move on though, as this match has been done to death already.

Post match Palumbo destroys Noble even more, with commentary getting into their serious voices over the brutality. Palumbo even teases running a downed over with his motorcycle as this segment goes on FAR longer than a Chuck Palumbo and Jamie Noble segment needed to last.

WWE has an office in Shanghai!

Jesse and Festus vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here too. This is the new improved Festus, who comes to the ring with a bag over his head. The bag comes off and Festus looks the same, only to go nuts as usual when the bell rings. Deuce N Domino are cleared out but Deuce comes back in to get armdragged by Jesse. Festus keeps rocking back and forth on the apron as Jesse misses a charge in the corner to put him in trouble for a change. A distraction brings Festus in so the chinlock can go on, only to be broken up just as quickly. The hot tag brings in Festus to clean house and a pump kick into a splash knocks Domino silly. The fireman’s carry flapjack gives Festus the pin.

Rating: C. So yeah it’s the same Jesse and Festus, meaning they’re fun for a bit before before you realize how little Jesse brings to the team. Festus did his thing well enough and is great as a wrecking ball, but the charm wears off soon. Kind of like anything involving Deuce N Domino mattering, as they have completely collapsed after a great start.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge. He doesn’t want to do it, but he shows us a clip from the Royal Rumble where Vickie Guerrero was taken out by an errant 619. That brings out Vickie, with Teddy Long at her side, as this week’s guest. After the EDDIE chants die down, Edge sends Teddy to the back so he can be alone with his “Vickiekins.”

Edge knows that next week is Valentine’s Day and Edge has a special question to ask her. That’s next week though, but for now, Rey Mysterio needs to come out here and apologize right now. Cue Rey, who tries to explain but gets slapped by Vickie. Berating ensues, followed by Edge beating Rey down. Rey is ready for the Conchairto though and hits a quick 619 to send Edge bailing. With Rey and Vickie alone, Rey apologizes to her. Fine enough segment with the challenger standing…well not quite tall but close enough.

No Way Out rundown.

Raw Rebound.

Edge won’t say what he is asking Vickie next week.

Edgeheads vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Yang dropkicks Ryder down to start but it’s quickly off to Hawkins for a forearm to the chest. The villains start taking turns working on Yang’s arm but he gets a boot up in the corner to cut off a charging Hawkins. Moore comes in for a quick legdrop on Ryder, who is right back up with a reverse inverted DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a match that never had a chance to go anywhere and it seems that Yang and Moore’s completely out of nowhere run is finished. They were a fun enough team, who had no chance to actually do anything because the tag division is that weak. Hawkins and Ryder work well together though and it makes sense to give them a win like this to establish them as something more serious than just Edge’s goons.

Great Khali/MVP/Big Daddy V vs. Batista/Finlay/Undertaker

Matt Striker, Runjin Singh and Hornswoggle are here too. We’re joined in progress with Khali hammering on Finlay before MVP comes in to do the same. Finlay fights out of trouble and hands it off to Batista to start on the arm. V comes in and misses the huge charge into the corner, allowing Batista to hit the shoulders in the corner. Undertaker gets to come in and unload with right hands and headbutts before cranking the arm around the top.

Old School is broken up but the second attempt works just fine. An MVP distraction lets V drop Undertaker with a clothesline though and we take a break. Back with MVP hammering on Undertaker but Batista comes in for a suplex. Finlay gets a chance to stomp on MVP, who manages to send him over the top and outside. Everything breaks down and Undertaker grabs a chair, which can’t possibly end well.

We settle down to Khali coming in and stomping on Finlay before stopping to pose. For once that isn’t a bad idea as it’s off to V for a rather easy slam. MVP’s chinlock doesn’t last long and he misses the running boot in the corner, allowing the tag off to Undertaker. Snake Eyes into the big boot (that’s always smooth) gets two and everything breaks down. The parade of secondary finishes sets up Undertaker’s chokeslam to MVP as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Well good for them for not having Undertaker pin MVP, the US Champion. The result was pretty definitive but they didn’t have someone take an unnecessary fall. It’s almost like WWE was thinking about this for a change. Anyway, you know that the Chamber has two possible winners so the match is going to be a lot of filler before the finish, but at least they did something smart here.

Post match Undertaker, Finlay and Batista stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. We are firmly at the point where No Way Out is set and there isn’t much left to do. WWE has done a decent enough job with half of pay per view that isn’t so interesting so this was about as good as they can do. Hopefully they can come up with something good for next week, because that could be quite the lame show. For now though, this was just barely ok enough, but there is nothing you need to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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