Smackdown
Date: December 1, 2006
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It is the first show after Survivor Series and the big Smackdown story is Batista taking the World Title back from King Booker. That means it is time to start getting ready for Armageddon in a few weeks, so we need to set up some stuff. With so little time left before the show, we might be getting ready for the show this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Teddy Long in the ring to hype up Armageddon on December 17. That sounds like a good place to announce some matches, so we’ll have Kane vs. MVP in an Inferno match and Mr. Kennedy vs. the Undertaker in a Last Ride match. That is in a few weeks though, so for now let’s bring out Batista. The new champ is rather happy to have his title back, though JBL goes on a rant about how Batista didn’t climb some mountain to become champion again. It took Batista eleven months to get the title back and now all is right with the world.

Cue King Booker and Queen Sharmell, whose ALL HAIL’s have lost some steam. Booker says it takes some nerve to stand in the ring with his title, because Batista stole it. Teddy Long helped him steal the title by changing the stipulations right before the match began. Then Batista had to cheat to win to win the title (yeah) so tonight, the rematch clause is being invoked. Batista is ready to fight now but here is Finlay to interrupt. Finlay says Booker doesn’t deserve a rematch because he hasn’t beaten him yet, so it should be Finlay vs. Batista. Teddy thinks they both have a point so let’s have a triple threat match for the title.

MNM vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title and Melina/Ashley are here as the seconds. As a bonus, we’re told that Ashley is next year’s Wrestlemania Playboy girl. London and Kendrick take turns knocking Nitro down to start with Kendrick coming in off the top to elbow the arm. The double dives hit MNM but Kendrick misses a high crossbody back inside. London has to make an early save so Nitro slaps on the chinlock with a bodyscissors. That’s broken up so Kendrick gets over to London for a double high crossbody. Everything breaks down and here are Dave Taylor and William Regal to jump London. That’s enough to set up the Snapshot to put London away.

Rating: C. This is a match I could go for on the bigger stage. I know London and Kendrick took the titles from MNM in the first place but they have come so far in the time since the title change that it could be a classic if they did it again. It’s kind of shame that MNM is only back for a short run, because they could give the division a much needed boost. Nitro has come a long way on his own though and I think WWE figured out his potential a long time ago.

We look at Mr. Kennedy beating Undertaker in the First Blood match at Survivor Series.

Kennedy comes up to MVP in the back and yells at him for swinging the chair. They argue over their matches at Armageddon and Kennedy calls him an idiot. Things are not quite cool here.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Batista

Batista is defending and Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. Batista punches them both down to start and takes over, including a Regal Roll to Finlay. The ring is cleared of challengers and we take a break. Back with Finlay working over Batista, including the elbow to the chest. JBL: “These guys would smack their mama right now to win a World Title.” Booker gets knocked outside again and Finlay plants Batista for a close two.

The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by some boots to Batista’s head. Finlay grabs the chinlock again but Batista fights up and hits a MuscleBuster for two. Booker comes back in to kick Batista in the back for two of his own, followed by the catapult into the bottom rope for the same. Finlay makes a save this time and it’s time for the villainous staredown. Booker gets the better of the brawl and Sharmell rakes the eyes to put Batista on the floor.

Back in and Booker gets two on Batista, meaning it’s time for the double teaming. Finlay throws Booker off for daring to cover before slapping on a chinlock. With that broken up, Finlay grabs the Shillelagh but the referee makes him put it down, as this triple threat has DQ’s. Cue the Leprechaun….but Batista stares him to the floor. Now the Shillelagh shot to the knee can get two on Batista and Finlay grabs the half crab. That’s broken up by Booker’s superkick but Finlay knocks Batista down. The spear into the Batista Bomb finishes Finlay to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Not a classic or anything but it got time and felt like a match that meant something. Giving Batista a title defense right out of the gate makes up for some of the belt shot title win and keeps open the door for Batista vs. Booker II. If nothing else, it is always cool to see the title on the line in a match with some weight so this was a nice surprise.

Post break, Booker and Finlay yell at Teddy Long, who doesn’t want to hear it. Therefore, at Armageddon, it’s Booker/Finlay vs. Batista/a partner of his choosing.

We look back at Chris Benoit retaining the US Title over Chavo Guerrero after accidentally knocking Vickie Guerrero off the apron.

Vickie and Chavo call Benoit a woman beater and swear revenge.

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Vickie Guerrero, in a neck brace, is here. Benoit knocks him down to start but gets elbowed in the face for an early two. The rolling German suplexes send Chavo outside, where he hides behind Vickie as we take a break. Back with Chavo sending him face first into the middle buckle and slapping on an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and Benoit starts the comeback with a backdrop into a chop for two.

Chavo tries to get up top but gets superplexed right back down in a nasty landing. The Sharpshooter attempt is broken up so the Crossface sends Chavo crawling to the ropes. Back up and Benoit tries an O’Connor roll but gets kicked almost into Vickie. This time Benoit puts the brakes on and Chavo rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Rating: C. There’s your setup for the rematch and that’s all it needed to be. They even played off of Sunday’s ending here for a nice bonus. It isn’t a great match or anything but it served its purpose and the pay per view rematch should be better. Now just stop talking about Benoit being such a monster and the next match will be easier to watch.

Batista seems to have picked a partner.

Layla vs. Kristal Marshall

Layla grabs a headlock to start but an attempted hammerlock doesn’t go very far. Kristal gets sent outside but comes back in for a slam as commentary talks about Playboy. A Hennig necksnap gives Kristal two so she grabs Layla by the hair and slams her head first into the mat for the pin. This was one of the worst matches I can remember in a long time.

Batista picks John Cena.

Raw Rebound.

MVP vs. Undertaker

MVP immediately starts begging off but gets taken into the corner to start the beating. A running clothesline lets Undertaker hammer away in the corner and Old School connects (JBL: “That is completely unnatural.”). MVP kicks him in the face and the glare is on in a hurry. There’s the jumping clothesline to drop MVP again and the turnbuckle pad is ripped off.

A few rights and lefts slow Undertaker down for a bit but he is right back with a clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot lets Undertaker grab a chair. MVP goes to run but here is Mr. Kennedy to throw him back in….but MVP reverses and sends Kennedy inside instead. Cue Kane as I think the match has been thrown out.

Rating: C-. This was a total squash until the no contest, though it is at least a match that felt fresh. They very well could do another match between them down the line and it would be a fine way to headline one of the next two Smackdowns. What we got here was fine enough for the short form, though it does feel like it’s a match that was there to fill in time and little more.

Kane and Undertaker clean house but the threat of a double chokeslam sends the villains running to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t remember the last time that they set up three major matches for the pay per view, plus a few other matches that you can see coming from here, for a pay per view in a single night. They did what they should have done with their time here and the World Title match was pretty good in its own right. Good, effective show here and it was nice to see something efficient like this one.

 

 

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Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’ve always been a big Survivor Series fan and there is something great about seeing a milestone show with the 20^th edition. On top of that, we have three elimination tag matches for a change and the card looks pretty awesome. Then again that has been the case with several shows before and you never know if it is going to live up to the hype. The big non-elimination match is Batista vs. King Booker for Book’s Smackdown World Title so let’s get to it.

The opening video briefly talks about the anniversary before moving on to a traditional hype video looking at the big matches.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes, Ron Simmons

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Mikey, Nicky

Arn Anderson and Mitch are at ringside. The Squad has been insulting Flair and the rest of the legends so it’s time to go to school. Simmons is replacing the injured Roddy Piper and scares Mikey down to start. A powerslam drops Mikey again and it’s a bunch of clotheslines to take the rest of the Squad down. Mitch offers a distraction though and Simmons goes out after him.

The stalking and watching Anderson beat up Mitch take a bit too long though and Simmons gets counted out. Simmons takes Mitch to the back with him and Anderson is ejected (with the fans NOT approving). That means Nicky gets to come in and request a salute from Slaughter, who works on his arm instead. It’s off to Flair for some shots of his own before handing it back to Slaughter for the cobra clutch. Kenny gets in a kick to the back of Slaughter’s head though and the mostly out Nicky gets the pin.

Dusty comes in for the Bionic Elbow to get rid of Nicky and it’s 3-2. Some jabs get Dusty out of the corner but a rollup is enough to finish him off. That leaves Flair alone against Kenny/Mikey/Johnny but Flair grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. A small package gets rid of Kenny, meaning Flair can chop Johnny and put him in the Figure Four for the fast tap. Flair beat the last three of them in about two minutes.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course and it isn’t like the Squad means anything in the first place. Flair can beat all of these guys without breaking a sweat and he came pretty close here. The team almost has to be done now and that is going to be better for Raw at this point. The idea wasn’t going to work no matter what they did so to get as much as they did out of them is impressive enough. Pretty bad in-ring stuff, and that was never the point.

Post match the big beatdown is on with no one coming out for the save.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero for Benoit’s US Title. Benoit thinks that Chavo and Vickie Guerrero are taking advantage of Eddie Guerrero’s estate but they told him to stay out of their business (a fair point). Chavo beat Benoit up and tonight he can win the title.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo, with Vickie, is challenging. Benoit starts very fast with a slam into a backbreaker for two, followed by easily winning a strike off. A snap suplex and slam get two each on Chavo as JBL says Chavo made Rey quit like a little girl. I’m almost scared to imagine when/how JBL made a little girl say she quit. Chavo comes back with a series of strikes and sends Benoit hard into the post.

There’s a Saito suplex for two and the armbar goes on. Benoit gets creative with a Samoan drop to escape but Chavo dropkicks him right back down. A suplex sets up the frog splash for two but Chavo stops to yell some more. Benoit fights up again and knocks Chavo away for a needed breather so Vickie gets on the apron. After dealing the pesky manager, it’s the Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: C. That is pretty much it for Chavo being seen as anything serious as he loses the big showdown after Benoit kicks out of his finisher. What other reason is there to buy into him at this point? Chavo was not exactly a can’t miss prospect here anyway and it’s ok for him to not win, but this should wrap it up on him being seen as a serious villain, at least for the time being.

Lita, with Edge, affirms that she is still retiring after her title match against Mickie James no matter what. Edge makes fun of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb while Cryme Tyme sneaks in and steals a box. Edge rants about DX as Cryme Tyme sneaks out of the room.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs to start. Some kicks to the ribs slow Mickie down and Lita counters a headscissors out of the corner by slamming Mickie down on her face (the simple ones always work). The fans deem Lita a “crack w****” as she gets some near falls. With the chant down, Lawler is right there with more jokes about Lita as the bodyscissors has Mickie in trouble.

Lita misses a splash of all things, sending Lawler into the joy of hope over a wardrobe malfunction. Mickie kicks her in the face for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into another faceplant. The Litacanrana gets two but the DDT is countered with a grab of the rope. They trade rollups for two each until Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was about what you would expect from a big Raw showdown but what matters is passing the torch (which Mickie has held before). The bad thing here was the amount of jokes at Lita’s expense, as commentary laid it in even thicker than usual. I know she’s leaving, but WWE can be rather cruel with these things at times, which was the case here.

Post match Lita insists on being called the greatest of all time but has to rant at the fans for disrespecting her so much. Cue Cryme Tyme with the box, sending Lita further over the edge. It’s time for a “ho sale” but it’s cash only. First item up is some yeast infection medicine, followed by some underwear (which JBL wants to smell before buying). Something that vibrates goes for $25 and finally, Lita’s box (it’s cheap and wide) is a hot item to wrap it up. Kind of a cruel way to go, but at least it saves them the cost of a trash bag (April 2021 reference for those of you reading this in 3847).

Earlier today, Batista wouldn’t answer any of Michel Cole’s questions. After a clip of the beatdown on Smackdown, Batista says he’s leaving as champion.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

DX: HHH/Shawn Michaels/Matt Hardy/CM Punk/Jeff Hardy

Rated-RKO: Edge/Randy Orton/Gregory Helms/Mike Knox/Johnny Nitro

The fans are way into Punk so HHH lets him ask if they are ready. The bell rings and HHH has Kelly Kelly get on the apron for a better view (while covering Shawn’s eyes of course). The distraction lets Shawn hit the superkick for a fast pin and elimination. Shawn chops away at Nitro and hands it off to Jeff to knock him down as well. Helms comes in to take Matt down and it’s Edge coming in as well to stomp away.

The villains start taking turns on Matt, who has to cover up from Nitro’s right hands to the head. Matt kicks him away and brings Punk in, much to the fans’ delight. Matt’s neck snap across the top sets up a Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice to eliminate Nitro. Orton dropkicks Punk down and Helms takes over with a front facelock to keep him on the mat for a bit.

The yet to be named Codebreaker connects for Helms and the RKO gets two with HHH making a save. It’s back to HHH for the jumping knees to the face as everything breaks down. Jeff and Shawn hit some dives onto the floor, leaving HHH to bust Helms’ spine. The Twist of Fate into the spinebuster gets rid of Helms and it’s Rated-RKO against all five members of the other team. Rated-RKO try to leave but get thrown back inside for Poetry in Motion into Sweet Chin Music to get rid of Edge. Another superkick into the Pedigree finishes Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. How weird is it to see a squash in a Survivor Series elimination match? Granted the talent on one side was completely nuts but my goodness man. This was completely one sided and I’m not sure how wise that was. Rated-RKO were decimated here, Helms’ title somehow lost even more value and Nitro was just a guy. It was fun, but I’m not sure if this was the smartest move.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is the latest young guy to go after Undertaker and say he is the new big star. This time Kennedy even managed to bust Undertaker open with his microphone so tonight it’s a First Blood match, which seems like a nice way out of having someone take a fall.

Mr. Kennedy is ready for his match but MVP gives him a pep talk anyway.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

First Blood. Kennedy hammers away to start and gets knocked over the top for his efforts. Undertaker sends him face first into the announcers’ table and then throws Kennedy over it for a bonus. Some headbutts have Kennedy in pain and there’s a big boot to to drop him again. Kennedy is back up with a whip into the steps but gets posted to cut that off in a hurry. Back in and Undertaker hits a top rope superplex but Kennedy is back with a low blow.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind and kicks away at the ribs before hammering away in the corner. Another low blow slows Undertaker down but Kennedy’s nose is busted. Cue MVP to towel Kennedy’s blood off….and throw Kennedy back inside as payback for Kennedy doing the same thing on Smackdown. Kennedy hammers away but here is MVP with a chair, which hits Undertaker by mistake (in theory) to bust him open. The referee finally sees it to give Kennedy the win.

Rating: C. The ending sets up a few more things, including MVP’s complete and utter destruction. Much like MVP winning the cage match against Kane on Smackdown, this is the kind of win that helps make Kennedy look that much more important. Of course it would be better to have Undertaker get pinned, but that isn’t something that happens very often so take what you can get here. Granted that’s Undertaker beating Kennedy up for most of the match and then getting cheated at the end, though I doubt Kennedy would mind.

Post match Kennedy brags about the win and talks a lot of trash, allowing Undertaker to wrap a chair around Kennedy’s head. Kennedy is busted open and Undertaker gives him a nasty Tombstone. The gloves come off and some bare knuckle punches have the bloody Kennedy bleeding even more. The referee drags him off.

Queen Sharmell gives King Booker a pep talk so Booker can monologue about how this is it for Batista.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena: John Cena, Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Sabu

Big Show: Big Show, Finlay, MVP, Test, Umaga

Cena avoids Umaga’s charge to start and sends him outside. Everything breaks down and Umaga hits Cena in the ribs with a TV monitor for the fact DQ. We settle down to Test elbowing Van Dam in the corner and planting him down so MVP can come in with the chinlock. Van Dam, with his nose bleeding, fights up and scores with the spinning kick to the face.

More kicks put all of the villains down and it’s Kane kicking MVP in the face. The Five Star gets rid of MVP but Test is right there with the big boot to eliminate Van Dam. Test sends Sabu outside but Lashley nails a spear, allowing Sabu to hit a tornado DDT for the pin. Show comes straight in to chokeslam Sabu for the pin as these eliminations are flying by. The Leprechaun comes out to give Finlay the Shillelagh and a shot to the head rocks Kane, setting up a chokeslam so Big Show can get rid of him too.

So it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Show/Finlay with Show powerslamming Cena in a hurry. Finlay comes in to stomp away but Cena gets in a knockdown of his own. That’s enough to bring in Lashley and everything breaks down again. A double clothesline drops Show but here’s the Leprechaun, who is thrown onto Cena. The distraction lets Lashley spear Finlay down for the pin and we’re down to 201. Cena manages to DDT Show and there’s a double suplex to put him down again. The finishing sequence is initiated and the FU finishes Show.

Rating: D+. his match, which featured eight eliminations, is now the longest match of the night at about twelve and a half minutes. I’m not sure why we need to go that short with everything but it has been a problem with almost everything on the show. Cena and Lashley teaming up to take out Show worked, but was there really any need for five eliminations in less than two minutes?

We recap Batista vs. King Booker for the Smackdown World Title. Batista had to vacate the title earlier this year due to an injury in this very building. It is his missing to get it back but Booker isn’t going it up so easily. If Batista loses, he can never challenge Booker for the title again.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Batista is challenging and starts fast by jumping him before the bell. They get inside to officially start the match with Batista hammering away in the corner. The threat of a Batista Bomb sends Booker bailing to the floor and the fans aren’t pleased. Back in and Batista hammers away even more but a hot shot gets Booker out of trouble. A catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope and Booker stomps away even more.

Booker pokes him in the eye but you don’t need two eyes to hit a side slam for two. They head to the apron for a slugout with Batista knocking him back in. Sharmell grabs the leg though and Booker kicks him out to the floor again. Back in and Booker pounds him down into a chinlock as Cole asks JBL what it feels like to try and get the title back. JBL: “I’m not a loser Michael. Bring up something else.”

Batista fights up and hits the clotheslines into a big boot to send Booker outside. That means a whip into the steps, followed by a top rope shoulder (dang) for two back inside. Booker is right back with a Bookend for two but Batista is up with the Batista Bomb. They’re right next to the rope so Booker saves himself, allowing Sharmell to hand him the title. A Sharmell distraction doesn’t work though as Batista ducks the shot and takes the belt away. Batista’s belt shot is enough for the pin, the title, and the energized celebration.

Rating: D, This really didn’t work and the ending was stupid. How much of a conqueror does this make Batista, when he needed a belt shot to beat Booker? It’s a reclaiming the glory story and that should work, but the lack of drama didn’t help anything. Pretty awful main event with the main bright spot being the fact that they didn’t go long here. It’s the longest match of the show at less than fourteen minutes and it felt every one of them.

Batista celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. For a show that looked pretty fun on paper, this wound up being a nearly complete miss with nothing worth seeing, a bunch of matches that felt rushed, and a World Title change in the end that was about as lame as possible. These Survivor Series matches are supposed to be about hanging in there over a grueling match, but Finlay and Benoit had a match on Smackdown that was longer than anything here. It wasn’t the worst show, but someone needs to teach them how to Survivor Series.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: November 24, 2006
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and the card is set. This week’s Raw focused almost entirely on the elimination tag team matches so there is a chance that we are going to get to see the rest of the card get some build. On top of that, we have a steel cage match between Kane and MVP as the trials by fire continue. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Kane vs. MVP

In a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. MVP slugs away but it’s way too early to go over the top. Kane chokes him with a boot in the corner but MVP is back with a dropkick into the cage. That’s enough for an early climb attempt, only to have Kane sit up and send MVP into the steel so he crashes back down to the mat.

A running clothesline in the corner sets up a toss into the cage and there’s a big boot to knock him into the steel again. The top rope clothesline lets Kane go up but MVP gets up to catch him. Kane loads up a super chokeslam but MVP crotches him down and climbs over the top to escape for the upset (and fast) win.

Rating: C-. It’s weird to see a seven and a half minute cage match but they did something smart by having MVP win clean with no interference or cheating for a change. In something I’ve said over and over, Kane is the kind of person who isn’t going to be hurt by a loss so having him put over MVP isn’t going to bring him down in any significant way. Nothing special as a match, but it did what it was supposed to do.

Gregory Helms vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title because Helms never defends the stupid thing. Helms starts fast by sending him into the corner but a leg sweep takes him down. Yang kicks Helms outside for a slingshot dive as JBL rants about Amy’s lack of intelligence for being in Yang’s corner. Back up and Helms gets in a knockdown of his own to set up the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry with Yang coming back for a hard clothesline. Not that it matters as Helms is right back with the Nightmare On Helm Street for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad match actually but egads it is impossible to care about anything Helms does these days. He is perfectly serviceable in the ring but WWE has made it clear that feuding with Matt Hardy is his ceiling a champion. The title is never on the line and if not for him being the longest reigning champion in WWE (which commentary mentions weekly), you would have little reason to know or care about his title reign. That’s not his fault, but dang it makes things rough.

Vickie Guerrero yells at Chris Benoit for talking to Vickie’s attorney. She tells him to stay out of her life and loads up the slap, but Benoit grabs her (rather small) hand.

Mr. Kennedy comes up to MVP in the trainer’s room and tells him to sit back and watch, because it’s time to give thanks to the Undertaker.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell want Teddy Long to sign a contract saying that after Booker beats Batista at Survivor Series, he will never have to defend the title against him again. Long doesn’t like being bossed around but thinks Booker has a point. If Long agrees with the contract, he’ll sign it tonight. Booker wants it signed in the middle of the ring with Batista in person as well.

Brian Kendrick vs. William Regal

Ashley, Paul London and Dave Taylor are here as well. Kendrick spins out of a wristlock to start and snaps off a headscissors to put Regal down. Back up and Kendrick grabs a rollup for two as Regal isn’t sure what to do with this kind of speed. Regal manages to get him into the corner for some strikes to the face though and it’s time to crank on the ace on the mat.

A suplex drops Kendrick on his head for two and we hit the half nelson to drive Kendrick’s face into the mat. Kendrick fights back with some shots to the face, one of which busts open Regal’s eye. You don’t do that to Regal, who drives him down and stomps away. Kendrick comes back with a crossbody for two so it’s time for Taylor to go after London and Ashley on the floor. That means a dive onto Taylor, but the distraction lets Regal hit a running knee to the head for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more Regal viciousness but it wasn’t as aggressive as last week’s mauling. Regal and Taylor are about as locked in as you can get for the next title shot and that makes a lot of sense, if nothing else due to how thin the division is at the moment. Regal has been built up as a monster and that is enough to get the team a title shot. Good beating here, with Regal looking like he wanted to hurt Kendrick.

Video on Batista vs. King Booker.

Here’s Mr. Kennedy to give thanks to the Undertaker. This involves telling everyone, including Undertaker, to shut up. First of all, everyone needs to bow their heads and give thanks to him for beating Undertaker at No Mercy. After seeing a shot of Kennedy’s win, and listening to a YOU SUCK chant, Kennedy shows us a clip of helping MVP beat Kane last week.

We see some clips of Kennedy talking trash about Undertaker, but Undertaker didn’t do a thing. That means a video of Kennedy busting Undertaker open….and there’s the gong. Undertaker pops up behind Kennedy, who runs into the aisle. Undertaker says it’s a first blood match….and blood rains down onto Kennedy. Good segment and the match is feeling big.

Chris Benoit vs. Finlay

Non-title. They fight over a lockup to start and circle the ring without breaking a thing. Benoit knocks him into the corner, which makes Finlay think this out a bit more. Back up and a hard clothesline puts Benoit down so we can hit the chinlock. Benoit fights up but is knocked down again, setting up another chinlock. This time the comeback works a little better as Benoit snaps off a suplex to send Finlay outside. The big dive takes Finlay down again and we take a break.

Back with Benoit knocking him outside but Finlay sends him knees first into the steps. Finlay starts in on the leg back inside with some stomping and a half crab. Benoit is bleeding from the side but manages to kick away and try the Sharpshooter, which is countered again. The bad knee is wrapped around the post and then around the knee and Finlay slams him down.

Finlay’s middle rope jump down that is only designed to hit a raised boot hits a raised boot and Benoit has a breather. Three Amigos set up the rolling German suplexes and the Swan Dive connects (without much trouble from the knee, which is rare for Benoit). Cue Chavo Guerrero to distract the referee though, allowing the Leprechaun to sneak Finlay the Shillelagh for a hard shot. The Celtic Cross finishes Benoit.

Rating: C+. Like this wasn’t going to be good. This was about taking two hard hitting people and having them beat each other up for a long time. Finlay vs. Benoit for the US Title would be great down the line, though the personal issue with Chavo could go on for a lot longer. Either way, we had a pretty good one here, even if the knee didn’t make much of a difference.

Post match Chavo yells about this being his business and hits a pair of frog splashes to Benoit’s back.

Raw Rebound.

Miz vs. Boogeyman

Miz runs him mouth before the bell, earning a clothesline out to the floor. Back in and Boogeyman hammers away but Miz fires off some knees to actually take over. Boogeyman isn’t having that and shoves him away, meaning it’s time to load up the worms. That’s enough for Miz to bail for the no contest.

Rating: D. This was barely a match and was on there for the gross out ending. Then again it isn’t like there are any real expectations here and Miz didn’t lose, so they covered the most important stuff. Nothing much to this one, though it does look like Miz is already done with Kristal.

Post match, Boogeyman puts the worms down the referee’s shirt and gyrates away.

Here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell for the (rather fancy) contract signing. Booker brags about his title defenses and wants to be done with Batista for good. First of all though, he needs Teddy Long, who doesn’t seem to be thrilled about this. Long agrees to the stipulation and Booker signs without trouble. Now it’s Batista coming out and starting to sign the contract, only to have Booker cut him off. Booker talks about how Batista is getting in over his head, but Batista signs anyway. Booker says may the best man win and turns the table over for the big beatdown. Batista is left laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was all about building almost everything except for the Survivor Series matches, which is what this show needed. The wrestling was pretty steady throughout (save for the main event) and even then it was there to set up the contract signing. Watchable show this week, but it made all the rest of the pay per view seem important so well done.

 

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Smackdown
Date: November 17, 2006
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re over in England here too and that means it is time to continue pumping up the build to Survivor Series. We know most of the card, including the World Title match with King Booker defending against Batista. Odds are that gets built up this week, as it always needs to be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Boogeyman vs. The Miz/Kristal

Miz and Kristal don’t get an entrance and Kristal was added to this by Teddy Long. Boogeyman chokes Miz down to start so Kristal jumps on his back. Miz gets in a few cheap shots and a clothesline but Boogeyman is back up, complete with worms to Miz’s face. Kristal gets wormed and screams a lot….as the match just ends.

Queen Sharmell shouts King Booker’s praises when Finlay comes in. Finlay and Booker are teaming together tonight and agree that Booker should beat up Batista while Finlay deals with Bobby Lashley. That’s quite the big tag match.

We see a video on Rey Mysterio’s knee surgery following his torn PCL and ACL.

Tatanka vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. Benoit chops away in the corner to start but Tatanka gets in a thumb to the eye. Forearms to the back set up a quick chinlock as things slow down a bit. Tatanka cuts off a comeback and knocks Benoit outside for a whip into the steps. Back in and a hard whip into the corner puts Benoit down again but he grabs the legs for a fast but failed Sharpshooter attempt. As JBL explains that Bret Hart got the Sharpshooter from Bret Hart, Tatanka gets a Boston crab to send Benoit over to the ropes. The rolling German suplexes rock Tatanka and the Sharpshooter makes Tatanka tap.

Rating: C-. Another riveting performance from Tatanka here as the new version continues to be somehow even lamer than the old one. There is nothing to him and the sooner WWE realizes this, the better everyone will be. Benoit is going into the showdown with Chavo so he needed something to get him warm, but egads was there no one better than Tatanka? Maybe an angry wombat or something?

Post match Chavo Guerrero comes in and beats Benoit down. A chair shot to the knee has Benoit screaming as Chavo shouts about Benoit not being a Guerrero. He wants Benoit to stay out of their business.

Teddy Long talks to Kane about his street fight with MVP and plugs the See No Evil DVD. Kane doesn’t actually say anything.

We look back at Mr. Kennedy attacking Undertaker and busting him open to set up their First Blood match at Survivor Series.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. He dubs himself the savior of wrestling and talks about everything he has done so far. Just like Undertaker, he has broken new ground in wrestling but now Undertaker has been surpassed. Just look at the proof, with this bloody microphone. This year at Survivor Series, the fifteen years of destruction will end.

William Regal vs. Paul London

Brian Kendrick and Ashley are here too and Regal gets one of the biggest pops of his career. Regal grabs an armbar to start and London can’t even headscissor his way to freedom. Instead Regal sends him into the corner and heads outside for a running boot to the head against the post.

Back in and Regal fires off some knees to the head, followed by a flip over half nelson suplex. Some more knees to the head and a legdrop to the back of said head give Regal two. London fights out of a double arm crank and starts the comeback but a missed dive takes Ashley out by mistake. London is distraught and Regal hits a running knee for the pin.

Rating: C. In addition to the fans loving everything Regal did, this was one of the more intense beatings you will see around here. Regal looked vicious and took London apart to instantly give us new challengers for the titles. The division has needed some fresh blood and if it happens to be two old British guys, so be it.

We look at Bobby Lashley debuting on ECW and entering the Extreme Elimination Chamber.

Teddy Long is happy with Lashley and thanks him for everything. The door is always open if he wants to come back. How nice of a boss losing a main event star to ECW.

Wrestlemania tickets are on sale.

Kane vs. MVP

Street fight. MVP grabs a chair to start but Kane kicks it out of his hands. They head to the floor with the beatdown being on in a hurry. Kane sends him into the barricade near the stage and then face first into the big red phone booth. Somehow MVP knocks him into the booth so Kane blasts his way out with the door taking MVP down. To even things up a bit, Kane puts him in the booth and turns it over so the beating can head back to ringside.

The slightly busted open MVP is sent into the announcers’ table and then JBL and finally the post to complete the trio. Kane drops him face first onto the steps but MVP comes back with a DDT onto the chair for two back inside. We take a break and come back with MVP hitting a running big boot in the corner. The bell to the face drops Kane for no cover so he gets back up and hammers away, including the side slam. Kane connects with the top rope clothesline so here is Mr. Kennedy to help MVP hit him in the face with the steps for the pin.

Rating: C+. There is something fun about watching Kane wreck people and it was on full display here. The important thing here though was MVP picked up the win and didn’t even have to cheat to do so. They did their thing and MVP took a nice beating, so this did its job on both ends. Now go somewhere with MVP and Kennedy.

Post match the Undertaker comes in to clear the ring. Kennedy sends MVP back in though and the double chokeslam leaves him laying.

Gregory Helms vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and yes, we’re doing this AGAIN. Helms starts fast by jumping Hardy during the entrances and chokes with the boot. A stomp to the ribs keeps Hardy down as commentary again tries to make this feel like some epic rivalry. The front facelock doesn’t last long on Matt as the comeback is on with a clothesline, followed by the corner clothesline into a bulldog. Helms grabs a rollup out of the corner but the referee catches him with his feet on the ropes. The Twist of Fate is countered into a neckbreaker for two and it’s time to argue with the referee. The delay lets Hardy grab the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C. The matches tend to be fine but they stopped meaning anything weeks ago. Their pay per view match a few weeks back was very good but the three minute version with part of that going to Helms arguing with the referee isn’t going to do anyone any good. These two really need to move on and do anything else, or at least have some big blowoff match to wrap it up already, because trading quick wins isn’t helping anyone.

MVP is being checked on by the medics when Teddy Long comes in. Since MVP is fine, he can face Kane in a cage next week.

King Booker is talking with Queen Sharmell about the main event when Batista comes in. Booker isn’t happy with Batista becoming the new #1 contender because Booker didn’t need his protection. No worries though as Booker has beaten him before and can do it again. Batista: “Tonight, I’m going to beat you up.” Oh and Booker dropped his crown.

King Booker/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley

Queen Sharmell is here too. We get the big staredown before the bell and it’s Batista starting with Finlay. Batista shoves him down to start and Finlay is already looking frustrated. A catapult sends Finlay throat first into the top rope and he lands on Batista’s knees for a bad landing. Batista powerslams Finlay for two and it’s off to Booker to unload in the corner.

That’s shrugged off and a clothesline drops Booker so Lashley can come in. Finlay gets thrown into Booker and there’s the double delayed vertical suplex to put Finlay down. JBL: “Makes me sick.” We take a break and come back with Finlay tying Lashley in the ring skirt to hammer away. Back in and Booker hits a side kick for two, followed by the required chinlock.

Booker sends him outside so the Leprechaun can pop out for a splash from the steps. JBL is rather pleased and Booker hammering away makes it even better. Finlay grabs the chinlock and then clotheslines Lashley down for daring a comeback. Lashley gets up again and hits a spear, allowing the hot tag to Batista. House is cleaned but Finlay breaks up the Batista Bomb. Sharmell gets in a scepter shot for two and Booker is stunned. Another kick to the face misses though and Batista hits the spinebuster for the pin.

Rating: C+. Things got a bit nuts at the end with the scepter but Batista continues to gain momentum on his way to Survivor Series. Lashley was little more than a warm body here but he is already moving on th ECW and who else was supposed to take his spot here? Batista almost has to win the title back at Survivor Series and if he does, everything should be fine on Smackdown for the time being.

Overall Rating: C. They’re kind of in a weird place at the moment as Survivor Series is pretty much set, meaning there isn’t much to do either this week or next. You’re only going to get so far with pushing the same matches that have already been set, so thankfully the main event and Regal matches were both pretty good. It’s a watchable but also skippable show, which is likely going to be the case next week as well.

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Wrestlemania XXXVII Night Two
Date: April 11, 2021
Location: Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Ashland Craft

It’s time for the second half of the show and hopefully it is just as good if not better than last night. This time we have the main event of Roman Reigns defending the Universal Title against Daniel Bryan and Edge, along with four more title matches. That should make this feel more like a complete Wrestlemania, though I’m still not sure on whether I like one or two nights better. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

America the Beautiful, with the roster on the stage.

We get the same opening video from last night, again with the Captain Jack Sparrow impersonator though with some fresh visuals.

Here are Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan to get things going….and they’re in pirate costumes. They make pirate jokes and the fans do not seem overly interested as we are thrown to our first match.

Randy Orton vs. The Fiend

Fiend has been tormenting Orton so Orton burned him alive. Now the charred remains of the Fiend are back for revenge. Orton is in white gear in a look I don’t remember seeing before. We see Fiend walking through the hall backstage and he transforms from the burned version into the regular one. Before Fiend appears, here’s Alexa Bliss with a huge jack in the box on the floor (it goes above the top rope). She turns the crank and the Fiend pops out of the box like the boss in a fairly creative game.

Fiend jumps off of the box and clotheslines Orton down as the red lights are back. A release Rock Bottom plants Orton and Fiend shouts what sounds like YOWIE WOWIE. Fiend loads up his own Punt but Orton bails out to the floor. That’s fine with Fiend, who follows him out with the Mandible Claw. Orton rolls inside for the break and there’s the hanging DDT to drop Fiend for all of two seconds.

The RKO is countered so Orton sends him into the side of the box (“box like structure” according to Cole) and there’s another DDT. Fiend is back up with the crossbody and right hands so Orton sends him outside again. That means a third DDT and this time Fiend stays down for a bit. The RKO is countered into the Mandible Claw and Sister Abigail is loaded up….but fire comes out of the posts. Bliss is sitting on top of the box with the black goo all over her. Fiend is distracted enough that the RKO can finish him at 5:54.

Rating: D. And I thought the bugs on the mat were never going to be topped. The Fiend gets to lose to Orton again in another idea that probably sounded great on paper but since this company doesn’t get that there is more to it than that, this is what we get. I don’t know if they’re going with the beauty killed the beast idea or something like that, but good grief man. Is it asking too much for Fiend to be able to get a bit win without doing something stupid? Awful stuff again, and hopefully they get it out of the way here.

Post match Fiend stares at Bliss and the lights go out. When they come back up, both of them are gone.

Bayley comes up to Hulk Hogan, Titus O’Neil and Eric Bischoff as they talk about Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair. She offers Bischoff a spot on her show but Bischoff would rather have Belair on. Hogan and Bischoff leave to talk about Hogan’s new boat, though Titus does give Bayley his pirate hat.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Natalya/Tamina vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Natalya/Tamina are defending after winning Tag Team Turmoil last night. Natalya and Shayna go to the mat to start and it’s an early standoff. Nia comes in and wants Tamina, who gets what I hope are ironic cheers. Tamina’s headbutt sets up an unsuccessful slam attempt so it’s back to Natalya to take Shayna down. A catapult sends Shayna into a superkick from Tamina for two.

Shayna is back up with a knee to Natalya’s face as Jax beats up Tamina on the floor. It’s time to start in on Natalya’s leg, including a nasty stomp to twist the ankle around. Nia comes in to stay on the knee and we get some of the trademark Natalya screaming. A missed charge sends Nia shoulder first into the post but she is back up with a spinebuster with Tamina having to make the save.

The hot tag brings in Tamina (which they miss on the first try because they can’t even SLAP HANDS properly) and the pace picks up. Tamina blocks the Kirifuda Clutch is straight power and Samoan drops Shayna for two. Shayna catches Tamina on top but Natalya breaks up a super Samoan drop from Nia. That sets up a double high crossbody to give Nia two, though she seems to bang up her knee in the process.

Nia shouts at Tamina a lot so Tamina backhands her in the face. A slam (with less rotation than Lex Luger got on Yokozuna) plants (kind of) Jax for two and we get a TAMINA chant because wresting fans are annoying. The Superfly Splash misses and it’s Natalya and Shayna coming back in, with Natalya dropkicking Shayna first. The Sharpshooter has Nia in trouble but Baszler grabs the Kirifuda Clutch on Natalya to retain at 14:21.

Rating: D. What does it say that I’m relieved Nia Jax is still a champion? This went WAY too long as WWE will not give up on the idea of Tamina and Natalya being something. The match was completely uninteresting because of who was in there and it isn’t like the action was very good either. Awful match, as WWE continues to not have the first clue of how to use these titles.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn. Sami has been going a little bit nuts because he is convinced that there is a huge conspiracy against him. Owens does not seem to buy it but Zayn has even brought in YouTube sensation Logan Paul, who doesn’t quite seem to buy Sami’s conspiracy theory. Paul is here tonight in an undefined role.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

It’s pretty awesome that these two are getting to face each other at Wrestlemania. Sami comes out first and introduces Paul, who does not seem that popular. Owens plants him with a Pop Up Powerbomb at the bell so Sami rolls outside. That means Sami has to grab the ropes to avoid an apron powerbomb. Sami gets dropped ribs first across the top rope and there’s the Cannonball to crush him again.

The threat of Owens going to the top sends Sami outside again but this time he catches Owens with a brainbuster on the apron for a big reaction (egads). Back in and the Michinoku Driver (Cole calls it a Blue Thunder Bomb, but Graves “saves him from the internet” by correcting him. Cole: “Thanks Corey. I got enough of that last night.”) gives Sami two so he puts Owens on top.

Some headbutts send Sami flying and the frog splash gives Owens two of his own. A fisherman’s buster onto the knee knocks Zayn silly for two more but ht he’s right back with the exploder suplex into the corner. The Helluva Kick and Stunner both miss so Sami grabs the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Another exploder sets up a nasty half and half suplex to rock Owens and the brainbuster gets another near fall.

Sami takes him up again and gets countered into the swinging fisherman’s superplex to crush Zayn and have Paul slumped over in his chair. Back up and Sami hits the Helluva Kick but makes the mistake of trying another one, allowing Owens to hit a superkick. Another superkick sets up the Stunner to pin Zayn at 9:17.

Rating: B-. A lot of what made this work was just seeing Owens vs. Zayn at Wrestlemania. These two have one of the deepest histories in modern wrestling and it must be so special to them to get to do this. Good match too, with Owens getting a win like he deserves after having such a great series with Reigns. Also, thanks for getting the show on track after the awful first hour.

Post match Paul checks on Sami as he gets up so Sami yells a lot and reminds Paul that Owens is the enemy. Paul shoves him down and storms off so Paul raises Owens’ hand. The Stunner leaves him laying so Owens can hug his family. Paul is helped out and asks why Owens did that.

Riddle runs into Great Khali and congratulates him on the Hall of Fame. He thinks Khali should open a store for giant sized people and sell giant toilets and scooters. There seems to be a communication issue so Rob Van Dam comes in to act as a translator. Van Dam says Khali says they need to dominate the market share with good marketing ideas, so Van Dam recommends his brand of rolling papers (to a big pop).

US Title: Sheamus vs. Riddle

Riddle is defending after Sheamus attacked him with Riddle’s own scooter a few weeks back. One day someone is going to have to explain the birds on Riddle’s entrance. Sheamus takes him down with a headlock takeover to start and stomps away but Riddle is back up with a choke on Sheamus’ back. That’s broken up and the swinging Rock Bottom plants Riddle again.

The Irish Curse connects but Riddle is back up with some shots to the face. Sheamus knocks him back and goes up so Riddle catches him with a top rope flipping belly to belly superplex. Some running forearms set up the exploder into the Broton into the Jackhammer for two (he can’t let the Goldberg stuff go) on Sheamus and Riddle is stunned. The Bro Derek is broken up and Sheamus sends him to the apron. Riddle flips back in for a knee to the face (looked like it was supposed to be the Brogue Kick, as Cole called it) for two.

An Alabama Slam gets two on Riddle, who is right back up with a suplex to the floor. The Floating Bro drops Sheamus again and they head back inside. Another Floating Bro gets two but Sheamus knocks him back again. Sheamus goes up top so Riddle follows him, only to have Sheamus load up a super White Noise.

That’s a bit too much though as they slip off, leaving Sheamus to hit the regular White Noise. Sheamus adds a top rope knee for two (proving that Riddle is tougher than Bruno Sammartino) so Riddle tries another springboard flip, which is Brogue Kicked out of the air (in some great timing) to give Sheamus the pin and the title at 10:49.

Rating: B-. These guys beat the heck out of each other, though some of the spots didn’t quite connect as planned. The ending made up for a lot of that though and while I’m not wild on Riddle’s short reign, Sheamus absolutely deserves something after his great run run with Drew McIntyre. Solid midcard match between two hard hitting guys, though I’m not sure where Riddle goes from here. Sheamus isn’t likely a long term champion, but him putting someone over will be a good moment.

HHH gives Bad Bunny a golden microphone to start his world tour.

We recap Big E. vs. Apollo Crews for the Intercontinental Title. Big E. won the title on Christmas night and defeated Crews to retain it. Crews thinks there have been shenanigans so he attacked Big E. Then Crews embraced his Nigerian roots and gained an accent, a scarf and a spear. Then Big E. beat Crews to retain it so Crews thought there had been shenanigans so he attacked Big E. Now it’s a Nigerian Drum Fight, which seems to be another hardcore match, in Big E.’s hometown.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Apollo Crews

Big E. is defending in a Nigerian Drum Fight, meaning anything goes and you can only win by pin or submission. Wale performs Big E.’s entrance live for a bonus. Big E. looks rather emotional and has a Feeding Tampa Bay (charity) logo on his entrance gear. Commentary explains that this has nothing to do with percussion instruments, but rather beating your opponent like a drum, though there is a gong at ringside.

There are also various weapons, including some kendo sticks, with both of them grabbing one to beat on the other. Big E. gets the better of it and they head outside, where there are indeed drums. A superkicks gets Crews a breather and he sends Big E. into the gong. Back in and Big E. spears Crews through the ropes to the floor and it’s time to pick some new weapons. Crews knocks him down and puts Big E. onto the steps. He picks up the other half and goes to the apron to crush Big E. but only hits steps.

Big E. is back up with a release Rock Bottom off the apron and onto the steps for a rather disturbing thud. A table is set up but it takes a bit too long, allowing Crews to hammer away with a kendo stick. The frog splash through the table only hits table though, allowing Big E. to nail the Big Ending. Cue a giant (Dabba Kato of Raw Underground fame) in something like a military uniform to beat Big E. down though, including a chokeslam. The giant puts Crews on top for the pin and the title at 6:50.

Rating: C+. They beat each other up well enough here and the title change was a nice moment, but Big E. being the latest star to have the big moment in his hometown is rather depressing. I’m not sure what WWE’s obsession with that is but it gets a little tiring. Also, for those keeping track, this is the second night in a row where a member of New Day has lost a title in the fourth match of the show thanks to a giant hitting something like a chokeslam.

Video on the first night of Wrestlemania.

Hall of Fame ceremony video.

The Hall of Fame class is presented:

Molly Holly

Great Khali

Ozzy Osbourne (not here)

Eric Bischoff

Rob Van Dam

Rich Hering (Warrior Award)

Kane (gets the headliner entrance)

We recap Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley for the Raw Women’s Title. Asuka has been champion for most of the last year and Ripley debuted to challenge her. Not much more to it than that and it really doesn’t need to.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka

Ripley is challenging and gets played to the ring live by Ash Costello. Asuka starts fast by kicking her into the corner and then counters a charge into a drop toehold into the middle buckle. That’s enough to send Ripley outside for a breather so Asuka follows her out with a knee to the face. Back in and Asuka kicks Ripley in the back as it seems Ripley is a bit shaken up by the pressure to start.

Ripley gets in her own kick and a belly to back faceplant gets two. The fans are split here as Ripley grabs a bodyscissors and shouts about how much she wants this. That’s broken up and Ripley slows the pace for some hard clotheslines. Asuka counters a kick to the chest into a kneebar so Ripley goes with the power to muscle up into a German suplex. Some shoulders in the corner stay on Asuka’s back and Ripley takes her up top.

That can’t go well so Asuka knocks her down and nails a good missile dropkick. Asuka’s German suplex sets up the rapid fire strikes, capped off by the big kick to the head for two. Asuka goes up again but this time Ripley dropkicks her down, setting up a face first drop onto the apron (which thankfully doesn’t smudge Asuka’s eye makeup). They fight to the apron and Asuka grabs a DDT to the floor (GEEZ) with Ripley thudding hard. That gets seven, because dropping four feet from the apron to the floor and landing on your head isn’t worth an eight these days.

Back in and Asuka fires off the Kawada kicks but the sliding knee is countered into some stomps to the head. The Prism Trap is countered into an armbar but Ripley swings her into the corner for the break. A bottom rope superplex (you don’t see that every day) gets two on Asuka so she tries the Asuka Lock. That’s broken up so she misses Ripley’s head, allowing the Riptide to give Ripley the pin and the title at 14:15.

Rating: B-. Perfectly fine match, but there was no story coming in and the ending did kind of come out of nowhere. What matters here though is they got the winner right as Asuka has done just about everything she can with the title. Also, it was kind of nice to not have it be Charlotte giving Asuka a major loss for a change. Good match here, though not exactly a break the door down debut for Ripley.

We recap Fiend beating Randy Orton. That might not be the right thing to recap.

Here are Hulk Hogan and Titus O’Neil to thank the fans and everyone who made this possible but Bayley interrupts. She demands her thank you and pyro because she has been carrying this show on her back for the last two nights…..and here are the Bellas to interrupt. Bayley: “I don’t know what you heard, but John Cena is not here tonight!” Nikki slaps her and Brie gives her a facebuster as the fans are not pleased. Hulk and Titus dance with the Bellas to wrap it up.

Here’s what’s coming to Peacock, with the main focus on the Ruthless Aggression series.

We recap the main event of Roman Reigns defending the Universal Title against Edge and Daniel Bryan. Edge won the Royal Rumble after returning from another long term injury, but wasn’t happy that Daniel Bryan is complaining about not getting his own shot. Bryan won the Elimination Chamber and then had to face Reigns immediately, with Reigns winning in less than two minutes. Bryan wanted another shot and had Reigns tapping at Fastlane but guest referee Edge cost him the match after accidentally getting knocked down. Therefore, it’s a triple threat for the title.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Edge vs. Daniel Bryan

Reigns is defending and Edge gets a monster pop. Paul Heyman and Jey Uso, with the lei’s, are here with Reigns. We’re ready to go after the Big Match Intros and Reigns decks Bryan at the bell. Edge hammers on Reigns but Bryan is back up, only to be thrown outside. Uso drops Bryan on the floor and then does the same to Edge, leaving Reigns as the only one up. Reigns loads up the announcers’ table but Bryan is back up with the suicide dive.

Uso is right there to take both of them down though, earning himself a whip into the steps from Edge. Reigns gets posted too and Edge is the only one left standing. The Edgecution plants Uso on the steps and medics come in to take him out. That leaves Bryan to hurricanrana Edge off the top but Edge rolls him up for two. Reigns is back up on the apron so Bryan slides between his legs to pull him back to the floor.

Bryan’s missile dropkick hits Edge and he nips up but Reigns counters the suicide dive into an overhead belly to belly. Back in and Edge counters the Superman Punch into the Edgecution but loads up the spear instead f covering. The spear is cut off with a Superman Punch so Reigns loads up his own spear. That’s countered into a sunset flip for two, leaving them to both try spears at the same time and collide.

Bryan comes back in with a Swan Dive each with Reign having to kick out. Edge is knocked outside, leaving Bryan to stomp on Reigns’ head over and over. The YES Lock goes on (and Heyman’s eyes pop up) until Edge makes a save to give us a quick breather. Bryan YES Locks Edge with Reigns making a save this time, setting up a powerbomb to drive Bryan into Edge. Reigns isn’t done though as he takes Bryan outside for a powerbomb off the steps and through the announcers’ table, allowing Edge to spear Reigns off the steps for the three way knockdown.

Edge is up first and grabs a chair to knock Reigns down again. The Crossface, complete with a piece of the chair in Reigns’ mouth, has Reigns in trouble inside but Bryan comes in with a YES Lock to Reigns at the same time. Bryan and Edge headbutt the heck out of each other for the break so Bryan stomps on Edge’s head too. The running knee is countered by Edge’s spear though and another spear gets two on Reigns with Bryan having to pull the referee out.

Edge is incensed so he chairs Bryan in the back. The chair is taken inside so Edge can chair both of them over and over as the psycho eyes are back at full strength (he was always great at those). With both of them down, Edge loads up a pair of Conchairtos, because covering is a little too basic for him. The first Conchairto hits Bryan but Jey Uso is back in to save Reigns but Edge spears him down. Reigns spears Edge down and gives him a Conchairto for the double pin at 21:49.

Rating: A-. I really liked this and above all else, it came off as a Wrestlemania quality match and main event. I’m rather pleased with the ending as well, even if it seemed like the least likely result. You could feel all three as possible winners more than once and that is a great feeling to have. Awesome main event here and by far the best match of the two nights.

A lot of pyro and replays take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. The first hour really dragged this one down a lot but they did what they could to make up for it. The very good main event helped it a lot and allowed it to overcome a fairly weak middle of the show, but that first hour was the big problem. This one felt more like Wrestlemania than the first night, though the real version is somewhere between the two with some stuff cut out. It still isn’t a great Wrestlemania or even very close, but what we got was very good and I’ll take that after last year’s mostly forgotten show.

Overall Overall Rating: B. Two good halves make for a rather good weekend and it felt like WWE was back to normal, if only for two nights. I know it is time to go back to the Thunderdome (even the new one this time) but it was so nice to have things back to normal for a change. The wrestling was mostly (though not entirely) good and we had some memorable moments, though it is pretty clear that they need to fine tune the Wrestlemania formula again before Dallas. Still though, very enjoyable weekend and it made me smile about wrestling for the first time in a good while.

Results

Randy Orton b. The Fiend – RKO

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Tamina/Natalya – Kirifuda Clutch to Natalya

Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn – Stunner

Sheamus b. Riddle – Brogue Kick

Apollo Crews b. Big E. – Chokeslam

Rhea Ripley b. Asuka – Riptide

Roman Reigns b. Daniel Bryan and Edge – Double pin

 

 

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Cyber Sunday 2006
Date: November 5, 2006
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the interactive show as we have the fans picking a lot of the specifics about the card. This can range from stipulations to titles on the line to participants, though hopefully we don’t have more of the two joke options and one real one. The main event is the Champion of Champions match, which certainly sounds big. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how the fans have the power and runs down the major matches/fan choices.

The huge computer setup with the keyboard stage looks awesome.

Umaga vs. ???

Kane – 49%

The Sandman – 28%

Chris Benoit – 23%

There’s something surprising about Benoit finishing last, though Kane has been feuding with Umaga and Sandman at least got a promo about the match. Umaga has Armando Alejandro Estrada with him. The slugout is on to start with Kane knocking him into the corner and choking away. Kane charges into a belly to belly suplex though and earns himself a kick to the chest for trying the sit up. The spinwheel kick drops Kane again and there’s a facebuster to cut off the comeback attempt.

Umaga hits a pretty far middle rope headbutt for two and they head outside, where the Samoan Spike only hits the post. Back in and some running clotheslines rock Umaga, who is right back with the Samoan drop. Kane sits up again and avoids a splash in the corner, setting up a belly to back suplex. It’s time to go up but Umaga knocks him out of the air, setting up a jumping Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad power brawl here and that is all it needed to be. Let them go out there and have a fun match, which worked out rather well because they’re both good at this kind of thing. Kane is going to be fine despite losing every single match in the feud because he is long established in his spot. Umaga is rolling though and there aren’t many spots left for him before going to the main event.

Queen Sharmell talks to Big Show and suggests a King Booker/Show alliance. Show says she may be beautiful, but offers to put that shiny scepter somewhere.

Cryme Tyme vs. Charlie Haas/Viscera vs. Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Texas Tornado – 50%

Tag Team Turmoil – 35%

Fatal Four Way – 15%

I don’t think this was mentioned on TV, or at least not mentioned extensively. The brawl is on in a hurry with Cade and Murdoch and the Highlanders fighting out to the floor. Haas gets low bridged out to the floor but Viscera’s elbow misses JTG. A middle rope splash gets two with Cade making the save.

The Highlanders come in and clear the ring before everyone heads out to the floor. JTG is back in with a dropkick to Haas and Shad slugs away on Viscera. That earns Shad a swinging Boss Man Slam, leaving the Highlanders to slug it out with Cade and Murdoch. Robbie gets dropped with a High/Low but Shad takes out Cade and JTG steals the pin.

Rating: C-. This was short but energetic as Cryme Tyme gets another win to keep their momentum going. That is such a lost art these days and it is nice to see Cryme Tyme getting a push. They might not be the greatest or most polished team in the world, but they are getting more and more popular while establishing themselves as a good team. It still really can be that simple.

Post match Cryme Tyme steals Lawler’s laptop. Lawler: “IT’S NOT EVEN PAID FOR YET!”

Shawn Michaels is messing with a laptop when HHH comes in to say stop worrying about the guest referee. They already shoved Vince’s head into Big Show’s tights and spray painted Coach, so that leaves Eric Bischoff as the one person they haven’t done something horrible to yet. Controversy does create case….but Shawn isn’t the controversial anymore. Shawn: “I’M THE ONE WHO PUT BRET HART IN THE SHARPSHOOTER YOU KNOW” And HHH married…..what’s her name!

Shawn sees a backstage worker named Stan (hi Shawn Spears) and superkicks him, saying he just kicked STAN. Shawn goes running down the hall, ranting about controversy and superkicking everyone he finds. HHH thinks it’s funny, and he’s absolutely right, as this is one of my all time favorite backstage segments. Shawn might not be the funniest guy ever, but he found a style that worked for him and played it very well, including the bizarre visual of him running around superkicking strangers. I throw this on when I need a laugh and it still holds up.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. ???

Carlito – 62%

Shelton Benjamin – 25%

Johnny Nitro – 13%

Well that’s a landslide. They trade knockdowns to start until Carlito dropkicks the knee out. A suplex gives Carlito two but Hardy hits a running dropkick to put him down as well. Carlito takes a breather on the floor and There’s the running dropkick through the ropes. Hardy’s run the barricade clothesline is dropkicked out of the air so they head back inside, where Hardy fights out of a chinlock.

The slingshot dropkick in the corner is blocked as well so Carlito slaps on a waistlock. Hardy grabs a rope but Carlito is right back with a double legdrop to the ribs. We hit the waistlock again as commentary says this is our third interactive pay per view, without actually mentioning Taboo Tuesday of course. A backbreaker gets two more on Hardy and the sleeper (Carlito: “GO TO SLEEP!”) goes on.

That’s broken up and Hardy hits something like a tornado DDT for two as Lawler won’t shut up about Hardy’s hair color. A sitout gordbuster drops Carlito again but he’s fine enough to get the knees up and block the Swanton. Carlito’s springboard elbow gets two so Hardy runs the corner for the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy goes up top where Carlito catches him, only to get shoved back for a crash. The Swanton retains the title.

Rating: B-. This started slowly but then turned into a rather fun back and forth match as they played a game of trying to top the other. Hardy didn’t so much win as much as hitting the last big move, which means we are likely to see more from Hardy vs. Carlito. I’m not sure how well Carlito’s face run is going, but he was in a pretty good one here..

We recap Edge/Randy Orton vs. DX. Edge and Orton were tired of DX dominating WWE and wanted revenge on them for apparently causing all of Edge and Orton’s problems. This needs a special guest referee though and Vince McMahon is an option.

D-Generation X vs. Edge/Randy Orton

Eric Bischoff – 60%

Jonathan Coachman – 20%

Vince McMahon – 20%

That’s a very surprising result as it’s weird to see McMahon on anything without winning. At least it’s something a little more fresh though. Before the match, DX spends a good amount of time playing to the crowd for some alternating cheers. Shawn finally gets in his catchphrase, because the fans shouting it first. JR officially dubs the team Rated RKO, which really was about as good of a name as you were getting.

Edge punches Shawn in the face a few times to start but gets knocked into the corner for a right hand from HHH. A rollup lets Shawn pull Edge’s tights down and then chops away (JR: “Shawn taking Edge out of his boots after he takes Edge out of his tights!”). The armbar doesn’t last long as it’s already off to HHH to hammer away on Edge’s jaw. Orton comes in and stomps away in the corner but HHH snaps off a suplex. There’s the knee drop for two and more pummeling ensues until Orton is knocked over for a tag to Edge.

This time it’s HHH getting hammered down in the corner with Orton coming in to do more of the same. A quick DDT gets HHH out of trouble so it’s back to Shawn to pick up the pace. Orton is sent outside and Edge is slammed down, setting up the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Orton sweeps the leg and crotches him against the post. Some knee drops give Orton two and Edge comes back in for some stomping.

Commentary agrees that Bischoff has been fine so far as Edge hits a dropkick into a front facelock. Shawn fights up but gets his head taken off with a big boot for two more. Orton hits a dropkick for two and we hit the required chinlock. Another comeback is cut off by Orton’s backbreaker but Edge’s spear hits Bischoff. Shawn enziguris Edge down and the hot tag brings in HHH to clean house. The spear hits HHH and Edge throws in the crotch chop so Shawn crossbodies Edge out to the floor.

The RKO takes HHH down again and another referee comes in for two. Another RKO is shoved into Sweet Chin Music but Bischoff pulls the other referee out. Edge chairs Shawn down and another chair shot breaks up the Pedigree attempt (with Bischoff watching). The RKO onto the chair finishes HHH.

Rating: B. Yeah believe it or not, these four were able to have a good match. The shenanigans at the end were fine enough and HHH did do the job, despite kicking out of a spear and RKO in less than thirty seconds. Above all else, DX losing is the right thing because they were basically unbeatable for their entire reunion. They have needed someone to put them in check and if Rated RKO can do that then we might be able to get another dimension to the whole thing.

Video on the Marine.

Edge and Orton don’t want to hear about the chair and promise a new era in WWE. That era will be Rated RKO.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Lumberjack Match – 46%

No Disqualification – 40%

Submission Match – 14%

For the vacant title, though the rest of the women being in the ring before the match kind of spoiled things. Mickie is sent outside in a hurry but comes back in to throw Lita outside as well. JR mentions a possible wardrobe malfunction and Lawler is instantly more interested in the match. Back in and Lita hits a shoulder block but Mickie grabs the leg to cut her off. Lita tries to go to the apron but gets shoved back in as the women are near a brawl at ringside.

Lita snaps off a suplex for two but Mickie sends her face first into the buckle. Some choking takes Mickie down again though and the sleeper goes on. That’s reversed into a quickly broken Fujiwara armbar to mess up Lita’s elbow, allowing Mickie to hit some elbows to the face. The hurricanrana out of the corner is broken up and they both crash out to the floor. Back in and Mickie tries a tornado DDT….which lands in the corner. I’m not sure if that was a planned spot which looked bad or a botch but either way, egads. One of the women distracts Mickie though and a DDT gives Lita the title back.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but putting the title on Lita makes sense here. She is by far the biggest star the division has, even if she is not exactly the same as when she became a star in the first place. Mickie is going to be fine and is probably the future of the division. At least they had an out for her with the distraction, but it still wasn’t much of a match.

Kenny gives the Spirit Squad a pep talk, but has to explain why he is the leader. Apparently it’s because he beat Ric Flair, which is code for he’s the only one who has been treated as anything competent.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

Roddy Piper – 46%

Dusty Rhodes – 35%

Sgt. Slaughter – 19%

Flair and Piper, who disturbingly takes his shirt off, are challenging. Rhodes and Slaughter come out to even things up and it’s Kenny starting with Flair. That means a headlock takeover and some WOOing but Kenny is right back up with a dropkick. Piper comes in to hammer away on and bite Mikey but he has to deal with the rest of the Squad. Mikey gets in a splash in the corner and hammers away on Piper with the rapid fire forearms to the back.

Kenny comes back in for a chinlock into a sleeper, before being smart and pulling Piper back into the corner. A slam looks to set up Mikey’s middle rope splash off of Kenny’s shoulders, which only hits mat. The hot tag brings in Flair for the assorted chops and a double clothesline puts Kenny on the floor. The Figure Four has Mikey in trouble but Kenny makes the save. Flair gets bored of dealing with Mikey though and pulls him down into the Figure Four for the win.

Rating: D+. I know Flair was old here but he was miles ahead of Piper, who not only looked horrible but could barely do anything. I can go with the old guys winning here though because it’s not like there is any team ready to take the titles, save for maybe Cryme Tyme. The Squad has been mostly done for a long time now though and it was long past time for them to drop the titles.

Post match the celebration is on. One thing you’ll notice about the legends: they treat winning titles like the biggest thing in the world. Learn from that.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell offer John Cena an alliance, but Cena wants one night with Sharmell. Booker asks her if it’s ok and Sharmell leaves, allowing Booker to agree. Booker: “But just one night!” Cena: “HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND???” Cena isn’t taking Booker’s wife, but he’ll take the World Title. They head outside where Cena warns Sharmell that tonight it’s the two of them, Jim Duggan’s 2×4, a case of Jaeger, Finlay’s leprechaun and Cena gets to watch. Sharmell panics as Cena leaves, being replaced by Ron Simmons for the cameo.

We recap the main event, which is all three champions fighting at once.

We need a title to be defended.

Smackdown World Title – 67%

ECW World Title – 21%

Raw World Title – 12%

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Booker, with Sharmell, is defending and earns a right hand to the face for another proposed alliance. Show runs Cena over and whips him hard into the corner. A headbutt sends Cena outside so Booker finally comes in to kick Show into the corner. Show isn’t having any of that and chops away in the corner. Cena finally comes back in and the double teaming finally puts Show on the floor.

That leaves Cena to slug it out with Booker and the release fisherman’s suplex gets two, with Show pulling Cena to the floor. Show picks up the steps so Cena dropkicks the knee out to send Show face first into said steps. Back in and the Book End gives Booker two on Cena and the slugout is on again. A hot shot into a superkick gets two on Cena but he is right back with a belly to belly for two.

We get a bit of an awkward exchange until Booker takes him down into a chinlock. Cena powers out again and plants Booker for two as things slow down a bit. A splash of all things hits Booker’s knees and he grabs a DDT for two. The STF sends Booker to the ropes so Cena hits a clothesline into a suplex as we plug the Marine a bit. Booker gets crotched on top but Show is back with an electric chair to Cena, so Booker missile dropkicks Show in a smart move.

Show reverses a double suplex to put both of them down again and a double shoulder sends them flying as well. There’s the chokeslam to Booker and another shoulder puts Cena on the floor. Show loads up the announcers’ table but Cena posts him. Cena initiates the finishing sequence on Booker, chairs Show, FU’s an invading Sharmell, and grabs the STFU on Booker. Cue Kevin Federline to break it up with a chair though, allowing Booker to Cena with a belt shot to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone was realistically expecting a title change here and there is nothing wrong with that most of the time. The Federline interference might not be the most popular ending but at least it is something they have set up in recent weeks and it gave them an out here. The Booker vs. Cena section was really awkward, but other than that it was a watchable enough match, even if it was a lot of waiting around until the obvious winner.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of the most “this was a show” shows I can remember for a long time. The wrestling was ok enough but the gimmick worked out fine, with some actual options for just about every match. It’s a gimmick show and the idea worked out well enough, but it isn’t a show I’m going to remember watching in a matter of hours, let alone any long time.

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Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We had to get here again at some point. I sat in the stadium last year for the better part of seven hours watching this show and was pretty entertained for the most part. However, since then I’ve thought back on it a few times and it seems to go all downhill from there. I’m not sure what to expect from this one other than it’s going to take a few days to get through. Let’s get to it.

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Kalisto, in some ceremonial bird headpiece, is defending and this is your standard bully vs. smaller guy feud. It’s such a weird visual to see people coming to the ring with so few fans in the seats. I’m not sure if it’s going to make a difference but I expect a three part podcast from Ryback about how unfair it was to his career. We get the big staredown to show the match’s story and to show off Ryback’s new trunks.

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

A running sitout powerslam (kind of like a Michinoku Driver) gets the same and it’s time to slap at the mask. I know Ryback had some issues but he did seem to be trying to mix things up on offense. He deserves credit for trying at least and it’s true that he had some unfair breaks. I just can’t imagine it was as bad as he made it seem.

A delayed superplex is countered into a crossbody for two and the Shell Shock is countered into a quick DDT. The corkscrew crossbody gets two but Ryback plants him again. Kalisto goes to the corner and pulls a turnbuckle pad off. I’m sure you can piece the next step together but in case you’re a bit slow, Ryback goes head first into the buckle and the Salida Del Sol retains the title at 8:57.

Rating: C. Despite the surprise when the title didn’t change hands, this was a snappy little match with the power vs. speed working quite well. Kalisto is the kind of guy who can perform well against anyone and Ryback’s power was a perfect foil. Ryback is still one of the more interesting what if’s in recent years but it’s pretty clear that the guy isn’t all there sometimes, which can make for some messy negotiations.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Yes this story is still happening for reasons I’m sure you can figure out for yourself. If nothing else, Wrestlemania is an excuse to see Brie’s legs, which you don’t get for the rest of the year. This is Lana’s only main roster match to date and uh…..yeah this works. Fox elbows the heck out of Summer to start and a sloppy tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. We get the big ten Diva staredown and it’s off to a break because the pre-show is basically Raw.

Back from a break with Eva getting booed out of the stadium and suplexing Emma. A hard tag brings in Natalya and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. Paige comes in to play Bret to Natalya’s Neidhart (that must have made her smile) on a Hart Attack. It’s back to Emma for a wheelbarrow suplex on Paige before Lana is brought in to the pop of the match so far. Some good looking kicks drop Paige and we hear some trash talk with nothing resembling an accent.

Brie tries to come in so Lana mocks the YES chant in a nice touch. Tamina grabs a chinlock as the rapid tags continue (that’s all you can expect in something like this). A Tower of Doom is teased but instead Paige dives onto a bunch of the women at ringside. Back in and Emma stomps on Paige in the corner but a rollup sends Emma’s head into the buckle.

The hot tag brings in Brie to clean house and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers. Naomi: “FEEL MY GLOW!!!” By that she means barely get grazed by a split legged moonsault and have Lana shoves Brie off the top. Not that it matters as Brie gets a good looking roll into the YES Lock to make Naomi tap at 11:26.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match was a mess but there’s only so much you can put on the wrestling here. With so many people and so many of them being there as eye candy, there’s only so much they can do. This is the last night for the old Divas style with people being able to use the most basic moves but mainly being there for the sake of their looks. There are FAR worse versions of this match though and this was actually fine for the circumstances.

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are heels and refusing to use tables. It’s a brawl to start with the non-brothers cleaning house as the crowd is really filling in now. D-Von cranks on Jimmy’s neck and it’s off to Bubba for some trash talk about Rikishi. The snap punches take too long though and Jimmy gets in a superkick, setting up the hot tag to Jey. Everything breaks down and Jey takes What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but again takes too long, earning a double superkick. 3D is broken up as well and Jey superkicks D-Von for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here as we’re just getting ready for the big show and getting this stuff out of the way. You easily could have cut this match off and no one was going to notice it, especially with so little time. The Dudleys were fine at putting people over but did the Usos really need a win like this? Nothing to see here and it really could have been cut as a way to take some of the time off the main show.

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania and how it’s never been bigger than this. Various legends and legendary moments are shown, as they certainly should be. This transitions into a preview of tonight’s show, including the matches and of course a focus on the Rock’s unspecified role. Nothing out of the ordinary here but as is usually the case with these things, WWE really knows how to make these things look great. Also of note: Kelsey Grammer of all people narrates this.

I’m not a fan of his but Flo Rida’s My House is one of the catchiest theme songs they’ve had in years.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Owens is defending and this is a ladder match. Originally there were just four people involved but the match fell through with Stephanie making a triple threat for the title shot. That match went to a no contest so LET’S JUST THROW EVERYONE INTO THE MESS OF A MATCH. And people wonder why this title isn’t treated as anything important anymore. Sami gets a very nice pop here but Owens’ blows it away, making him the big crowd favorite.

On the other hand, Stardust (in Dusty polka dots) and Sin Cara come out to near silence, which isn’t exactly the biggest surprise. Finally, Ryder gets to hear his music played at Wrestlemania for the first time ever, which really is a cool moment. Ryder: “I’VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS!!!”

Everyone drops to the floor to start and it’s Owens left alone in the ring. As you might expect, Sami comes in with a ladder and it’s time for the Wrestlemania slugout that you know means the world to them. Kevin gets the better of it and cleans house with the ladder until Cara gets in a ladder shot of his own to take over. Ryder neckbreakers Stardust onto the ladder and Miz throws a different ladder over the top and onto Cara.

Sami and Ziggler knock Miz’s ladder over and there’s the Blue Thunder Bomb, which thankfully doesn’t have to go through the motions of a near fall. Back in and Owens backdrops Sami onto a ladder. Kevin: “THIS IS KO MANIA! GO BACK TO NXT!” Ziggler and Ryder go up but Stardust makes a save to put both guys down again. Cara does the same to Stardust and it’s Sami vs. Miz in the ring.

That doesn’t last long either as Sami dives through a ladder to take out four people at once, followed by the diving tornado DDT on Owens. Cara gets shoved off the ladder but lands on the top rope into a springboard onto another pile of people. Ziggler starts the superkick party so JBL can talk about Shawn Michaels.

Owens comes back in and it’s a double superkick to put everyone down. Stardust pulls out the polka dotted ladder (The Exo Atmospheric Starbird Mark II. I’d call it Larry.) and spins it around his head, only to get caught in a Skull Crushing Finale onto said ladder. Now it’s Sami back in but charging into Kevin’s boot in the corner. A frog splash onto Sami onto a ladder bridged onto the bottom rope crushes everyone (JBL: “That’s the biggest frog I’ve ever seen.”).

Ryder doesn’t quite one up him with the Elbro off another ladder to crush Miz but it still looked cool. I’m not sure why there weren’t more flashbulbs going off either as it was quite the highspot. Ziggler faceplants Ryder off the ladder and comes up favoring his knee. The delay lets Owens powerbomb Ziggler off the ladder and Cara kicks Stardust onto a ladder bridged between the apron and the barricade.

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

Rating: B. It’s a fun match and the spots were great but…..RYDER??? I mean…..HE’S ZACK RYDER! As is so often the case, there were too many people in here with guys like Cara and Stardust just being there to add more bodies to the thing. Cut this down to four people (five max) and it’s WAY better but that might mean the title is treated a bit more seriously and we can’t have that. I still think this was supposed to be Neville’s spot until he broke his ankle but it doesn’t really matter.

Ryder’s dad comes in to celebrate with him for a really cool moment.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. They traded some wins and then formed a short lived team (Y2AJ) but Jericho turned on him when they lost. Jericho was jealous over the AJ STYLES chants and wanted the respect for himself. It’s actually a solid feud and one of the matches people wanted to see, though I could have gone with not having the same match three times before.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

Rating: B. Another long match here with an interesting choice for the ending. I know Jericho went on to have one of the best years of his career but at this point he’s just Jericho and Styles hasn’t even been in the company for three months yet. This continues to feel like booking for the sake of the surprise, which is almost never a good thing. Still though, would you expect anything other than very good from these two for seventeen minutes?

Maria Menunos interviews Zack Ryder and talks about getting to take a picture with Razor Ramon and his Intercontinental Title when he was a kid. Tonight though, he and Ramon are taking a picture with RYDER’S Intercontinental Title. I’m not sure if that’s a better line than waiting your whole life for this but Ryder is nailing it tonight.

New Day vs. League of Nations

New Day comes out in a huge box of BootyO’s which tips over….to reveal them in Dragon Ball Z costumes, complete with a tail on Woods. This was originally a Tag Team Title match but was changed to a handicap match before switching to a six man (Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio/Rusev for the League with King Barrett in the corner) for no apparent reason. I mean, other than having New Day lose or something crazy like that. Also, make no mistake about it: New Day was by FAR the most popular merchandise choice of the weekend. You would see that blue shirt all over Dallas and nothing was anywhere near as common.

Kofi and Sheamus start things off as we hear about New Day holding the titles for over 200 days. Somehow they’re not even at the halfway point. Sheamus gets taken down into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede and Woods starts in with some tromboning. Xavier comes in and gets beaten down as JBL has the nerve to compare these two to the Freebirds and the Horsemen.

Sheamus gets in the forearms to the beat of NEW DAY SUCKS and it’s off to Rusev for a running flip senton. Woods sends Del Rio to the floor in a big crash but Sheamus is over there to takes New Day off the apron in a smart move. Not that it matters as Kofi gets the hot tag a few seconds later and house is cleaned again. Trouble in Paradise is broken up and Rusev adds a kick to the head of his own for two.

The fans try to get an UP UP DOWN DOWN chant going and Big E. tags himself in for some suplexes. The spear through the ropes takes out Sheamus, Rusev and Barrett but it does the same to Big E., who thankfully didn’t break his neck. Back in and Woods drops a top rope double stomp for two on Sheamus. Del Rio makes a save and hits a scary double stomp off the apron to crush Kofi. That leaves Woods alone to take the Bull Hammer from Barrett to give Sheamus the pin at 10:02.

Rating: D+. Ok they’re trolling us now right? The League of Nations is one of the most worthless stables in a LONG time and they’re beating one of the most over groups in recent memory? I know it’s designed to set up the post match shenanigans but there are multiple ways to do the same thing without beating New Day. It’s even worse when you consider the group was split less than a month later.

Post match Barrett says there are no three men who can beat them. Cue Shawn Michaels (nearly causing the wife to jump out of the upper deck), Mick Foley and Steve Austin (he’s a bit too big of a star for this group) for the beatdown. The moment is cool but Cole talking about how great of a moment this is feels so stupidly forced. Anyway, house is quickly cleaned (and apparently Austin further injures his already destroyed shoulder in the process). New Day gets back in and dancing ensues with Shawn and Steve getting into it…..until it’s a Stunner for Woods. Beer is quickly consumed.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose. Lesnar is the Beast and needs someone to fight him so Dean was like “eh I’ll do it.” This led to one heck of a beatdown so Ambrose was given some weapons by various hardcore legends (barbed wire bat from Foley and a chainsaw from Terry Funk) because this is a no holds barred street fight.

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

We hit the third German suplex forty five seconds in and Ambrose is on the floor. A few kendo stick shots annoy Lesnar so he rolls two more suplexes. Brock breaks the stick over his knee and there’s number six. Ambrose can barely move so he gives the referee a thumbs up and there are numbers seven and eight before we’re even five minutes into the match. Dean slaps him in the face….and gets suplexed again.

With nothing else to do, Lesnar offers Dean a free shot with the stick, which Brock then stands on. That earns him a low blow (Ambrose: “THAT’S HILARIOUS!”) and now the stick shots work a bit better. Dean goes outside and finds a chainsaw (Heyman’s eyes bug out) but that means a tenth suplex. A laptop off Lesnar’s face allows Dean to chair him a few times, only to have Brock run the ropes for a belly to belly superplex. Dean’s next trick is a fire extinguisher blast to the face followed by some lame chair shots to the ribs.

A dropkick to send the chair into Lesnar’s face works a bit better and the top rope chair drop gets two. For some reason Dean throws in about ten chairs, which he then goes sailing over off another German suplex. The F5 is countered into a DDT onto (or close to) a chair for two. Now it’s time for the barbed wire baseball bat but it’s another German suplex onto the chairs. An F5 onto them is enough to put Dean away at 12:50.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as I remember it but they made it very clear that Ambrose wasn’t on Lesnar’s level or really close to it for that matter. There’s only so much you can do when Lesnar is out there doing nothing but suplexes (other than those and an F5, I actually can’t think of anything else he did in the match) and Dean ran into that problem here. This could have been a lot worse but a little more offense from Ambrose would have been appreciated.

Ric Flair teaches Ryder how to Woo but it turns out to be a Snickers commercial. Ryder takes a bite….and turns into Charlotte. Yeah I don’t get it either but I think Charlotte is the new Intercontinental Champion.

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Big Boss Man (That’s perfectly fine.)
Jacqueline (Fine, just don’t let her talk.)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

We go back to the Kickoff Show with Lita unveiling the new WOMEN’S Title (meaning the Divas era is finally over). Oh and remember that this is completely different than the original Women’s Title, meaning it actually has its own lineage.

We recap the Women’s Title match with a really cool WWE Network themed video. It’s a search for Women’s Champions which shows some famous names before a Women’s Revolution search brings up the three of them (with Stephanie’s screeching narration of course). This gets the music video treatment, which it actually deserves.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

The title is officially vacant coming in though Charlotte never lost the Divas Title. Banks has Snoop Dogg (her real life cousin) rap her to the ring, which should guarantee her winning the title here. She also has Eddie Guerrero inspired gear and actually looks better in the tights than the trunks. Charlotte (still wearing the Divas Title) has Ric Flair in her corner and debuts the blue gear, with the robe being made from the robe Flair wore in his final match. That’s a very good thing as she rocks the heck out of that outfit. Lita is holding the new title and after the Big Match Intros we’re ready to go.

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte pulls Sasha outside though and gives her something like a wheelbarrow suplex onto the apron. Back in and Becky (with a lot of eye makeup) grabs an arm trap reverse DDT for two on Charlotte and we hit the cross armbreaker. Flair gets on the apron like a good pop though and it’s time for the Figure Four. That also means that it’s time for Sasha to come in with a frog splash for the save.

Becky grabs something like a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte and rolls Sasha up for the same. In the first big spot of the match, Sasha dives through the ropes to flip onto Charlotte (possibly catching her foot on the ropes but it didn’t seem to change much). Becky TAKES OUT FLAIR, drawing one of the biggest pops of the night. With Becky and Sasha staggered, Charlotte goes up top and moonsaults onto both of them (looked sweet) for maybe the biggest spot in the history of women’s wrestling.

Back in and double Natural Selection gets a double near fall, much to Charlotte and Ric’s collective frustration. Charlotte loads Sasha up into an electric chair but Becky comes in with a missile dropkick for two on Sasha. The Disarm-Her has Charlotte in trouble until Sasha makes the save with the Bank Statement.

That brings Charlotte back in with the Figure Four on Banks, which is upgraded into the Figure Eight until Becky pulls them to the ropes. Charlotte spears Banks down but gets taken to the top for one heck of a superplex. Banks gets up and goes for the Bank Statement, only to be sent outside so Charlotte can grab the Figure Eight (with Flair holding Banks’ foot) to make Becky tap at 16:08.

Rating: A-. Match of the night so far by a good stretch and pretty easily the best women’s match ever on the main roster to date. There were a few botches here and there but the idea that three women could have a match on par with if not exceeding a lot of the better men would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. Great stuff here and FAR better than I think anyone could have hoped for (save for the logical Banks title win of course).

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

You know, we’re about two hours and twenty minutes into this show and it’s on pace to be one of the best shows ever. I know there are some booking issues but other than a nothing six man (with a really fun post match segment), nothing has been bad and even that match was fine. However, there are four matches left and nearly TWO AND A HALF HOURS left in the show. I think I know where things are going to start going downhill.

The Cell is lowered for the 33^rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker and it’s time for this show to start to unravel. So Shane came back in January and talked about how Vince and Stephanie had ruined everything. There was something about a lockbox with evidence of Vince doing something bad (never specified) and Shane threatened to open it if he didn’t get to run Raw (which he said basically meant WWE). Vince decided to put it up in a match with Shane facing Undertaker in the Cell. Undertaker’s Wrestlemania career was put on the line and that’s about it for anyone buying this as anything serious.

At the end of the day, it’s really, REALLY hard to believe that Undertaker was in any real danger against Shane, who hadn’t wrestled a single match in seven years. It’s kind of hard to buy this as a competitive match, but there’s a very good chance that this was supposed to be John Cena instead of Shane but injuries derailed the plans (a major problem all night). To their credit, this match led to something like tens of thousands of tickets being sold in a hurry so it was definitely a draw and worthy of this kind of a push.

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Inside Hell in a Cell. Shane does the high energy entrance and brings his kids out to dance to the ring with him as Shane Bucks fall from the ceiling in a cool moment. Apparently Shane wants to take Undertaker’s cardio, which you know Shane has in droves due to, you know, everything that works against him. Some right hands have no effect on Undertaker so he punches Shane down with one shot. Remember: best pure striker ever in WWE, which you can add to the list of reasons this should be a squash.

Snake Eyes into the big boot have Shane reeling but he gets Undertaker to chase him and stomps away. That earns him a throw into the cage wall and the apron legdrop as this is total dominance in the first five minutes. The Last Ride gets two and the match is instantly a complete mess at 5:32. I’m sorry but there’s no way I can buy this no matter what WWE wants to tell me. That move has beaten World Champions but SHANE MCMAHON, in his mid 40s and seven years removed from his last match, kicks out of it after getting beaten up? Just….no, period.

Undertaker grabs the steps but gets pulled into a weak triangle choke. That’s countered into a chokeslam onto the steps for another two as Shane is suddenly the offspring of Super Cena and Hulk Hogan. Undertaker misses an elbow onto the steps so Shane sits on them and teases Undertaker into a drop toehold onto said steps. I don’t buy Undertaker as being that stupid, nor do I buy the cover that follows.

Shane punches him in the face off the situp so Undertaker gets him in the Hell’s Gate, which Shane reverses into a Sharpshooter. You know, because anyone can survive THREE UNDERTAKER FINISHERS IN TWELVE MINUTES. Undertaker easily powers out so Shane punches him into the corner, which is totally enough to have Undertaker in trouble. Coast to Coast into a trashcan gets two and Shane grabs….boltcutters.

He cuts the Cell open but Undertaker tackles him through the wall and onto the announcers’ table. A monitor to the head looks to set up a Tombstone onto the table but Shane reverses into a sleeper. That’s reversed with a backwards crash through the table as this is getting even more ridiculous. A toolbox to the head puts Undertaker on a table…..and Shane climbs the Cell.

The big elbow completely misses (because it would have killed Undertaker) and you can see the crash pad deflate as Shane lands. Cole: “FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND!” It was a terrifying spot live but now it’s much more silly than anything else, which isn’t the point in a match like this. Then again this stopped being anything serious or really interesting as soon as the Last Ride only got two so it’s a moot point. Shane says bring it again so Undertaker carries him inside for the Tombstone and the pin at 30:06.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

It’s a ridiculous story (both the buildup and the match itself) and a terribly dull match with one big spot not being able to make up for anything. This was more fun live but GOOD NIGHT it does not hold up. Cut it down to twenty minutes at most and this is much better but as it is, this is horrible. On top of that, allegedly Shane was supposed to win until Undertaker shot it down, which he certainly should have done. The show has hit a major wall now and it’s going to need something special to bring them out.

Shane is taken out on a stretcher as the announcers brag about how awesome he is, which is why a lot of people don’t like seeing Shane wrestle. Yeah he’ll do a bunch of stuff but he gets WAY more credit and praise than he deserves. Shane gives a thumbs up on the way out.

Reason #1 this show crashed so hard: from the time the Cell was lowered to the time we cut away from Shane: 50:43. That’s a lot of time to spend on something that…..bleh.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Fandango, Damien Sandow, Shaquille O’Neal, Big Show, Viktor, Diamond Dallas Page, Konnor, Tatanka, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Goldust, Curtis Axel, Baron Corbin, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Bo Dallas, Darren Young, Kane

O’Neal is a surprise, or as much of one as you can be when his face popped up on the big screen during the other entrances. We get the big staredown between Shaq and Show but they have to stop and double chokeslam Kane. Everyone else is sent outside (none eliminated) until Fandango comes in and gets eliminated. Sandow (POP) does the same and is eliminated as well, allowing everyone else to come in and eliminate Shaq and Show. Somehow, that means we NEED to see them at Wrestlemania the next year, despite almost no one asking to see it. Everyone stands around until Page hits the Diamond Cutter on Viktor and tosses him with ease.

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

We’re down to Corbin, Kane, Young, Breeze, Henry and Dallas with Kane chokeslamming Baron. Henry comes back in after being on the floor for six minutes to eliminate Slater and Breeze to get us down to five. Kane and Young (the oddest couple until….Young and Bob Backlund I guess) get rid of Henry before Kane dumps Dallas and Young. Corbin sneaks in from behind though and eliminates Kane to win at 9:43 and set off the NXT chants.

Rating: D. This was your annual “hey we still have jobs” battle royal but for once they let someone have the win to elevate them up the card. Corbin hits the ground running and odds are he’s going to be challenging for the Intercontinental Title at next year’s show. That’s how you introduce a star and it worked very well. The battle royal itself didn’t though with too many dead spots, but at least they kept the pace up after the first year’s was over thirteen minutes and last year’s was over eighteen.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

Here are the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to perform, which is never a bad thing. They’re followed by something that’s a bit more hit or miss: Rock’s annual Wrestlemania appearance. This time it’s a bit different though because he has a FLAMETHROWER. He lights a ROCK sign on fire and this eats up even more time on a show already over three and a half hours long with the main event to go.

After the long entrance and some standing around, Rock FINALLY says his first words nearly eight minutes after the cheerleaders started. We get some crowd praising and talk of Rock babies as there’s a loud echo on everything Rock says (kind of cool because of just how big the place is) and the new attendance record of 101,763 is announced. Yeah I know it’s probably not quite that high and much like in 1987, I really don’t care that much.

Rock says it’s about to get good…and we’ve got Wyatts. Thankfully this means we get the Fireflies in the stadium, which was one of the coolest visuals I’ve ever seen. It actually lit up the ring, which is pretty impressive for a bunch of phones. Bray introduces himself and says he chose Rock because Rock represents a lie. Rock is supposed to be the People’s Champion but this is Bray’s moment. He’s going to eviscerate Rock on the grandest stage of them all and the people have to watch.

Rock mocks the eviscerating line and thinks Bray has been hitting the bong. We get some jokes about Rowan and Strowman (Is this where Rock buried Bray? I never can tell with these things.) before Rock praises Bray for having it all (BURIAL! HE’S BURYING HIM! SOMEONE GET A SHOVEL TO HELP BRAY!) and getting 100,000 people on their feet. Rock accuses Bray of eating Hot Pockets but Bray says he’s here to kick the door down. However, Rock has an idea: let’s have a match! We get a referee and Rock says pick any Family member as he takes off the workout gear to reveal trunks.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

The Family surrounds Rock and heeeere’s Cena for the save. House is cleaned, signature moves are hit and Rock welcomes Cena back (he would be back in about a month) to FINALLY end this, 28:15 after the cheerleaders came out (I’m keeping time for a reason in case you couldn’t tell).

It’s 11:03pm so let’s recap the main event. Roman Reigns was World Champion but HHH couldn’t get him to go corporate so it’s Austin vs. Vince again. HHH made Reigns defend the title in the Royal Rumble, which he of course entered and won to set up this match. People really weren’t all that interested but you knew this was going to happen several months back. You know, because THIS TIME FOR SURE it’s going to get Reigns over.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

HHH is defending and here’s Stephanie in what I think is a Mad Max look. It’s a closeup of her face in front of a barren wasteland as she talks about how this is their world and we’re all just living in it. Basically all hope is lost and we need to give up on this ridiculous belief that anyone can save us from the Authority.

Then an army of people in skull masks (NXT wrestlers with Enzo Amore at the front) carrying WWE Titles comes to the ring to set up HHH’s entrance where Stephanie gets to show off her legs. Again, just like the last two years, the big face gets to follow this rather cool (and over the top) HHH entrance. But hey, at least we get the annual HHH is Cool moment right?

As ridiculous (and as much as they’re begging the fans to boo them instead of Reigns) as this is, it’s NOTHING compared to the outright hatred that Reigns receives. The man is booed out of Texas and allegedly the audio had to be turned down in response. If that’s true…..I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Since these two can’t stand each other, they go to a headlock and armbar to start. The fans unload on Reigns when he shoulders HHH, only to get hiptossed to the floor. Back in and HHH works on the arm some more until Reigns shoves him into the corner for more incredible booing. A lockup goes nowhere as this is already starting to look like one of HHH’s disastrous main events.

Some hard forearms to the back of Reigns’ head put him down. The comeback is so soundly booed that it’s almost comical. A Stunner over the top rope sets up the apron dropkick for one on the champ. Stephanie offers a quick distraction so HHH can get in a low blow (FACE POP) and Reigns goes down again. HHH goes with some hard right hands to the face and the spinebuster gets two.

They head outside with HHH sending him face first into the announcers’ table (which he did a few weeks back to break Reigns’ nose). Another comeback is cut off and Reigns is thrown into the German announcers. Back in and Reigns uppercuts him out of the air and hammers away, only to have HHH bail from the Superman Punch. They trade whips into the steps until Reigns spears him through the barricade for almost no reaction. This is basically the same problem as HHH vs. Jericho in 2002: there’s no reason to believe the champ has a chance so there’s no reason to care until Reigns hits a spear in the ring.

Back in again and Reigns is holding his arm but HE’LL CONTINUE! And without a thirty minute nap like at the Rumble! Oh he’s got his working boots on tonight. HHH puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things because the main event of Wrestlemania with a match that’s supposed to be based on hatred is built around a bad arm. See, when Daniel Bryan did that, it was entertaining. When Reigns is doing it, the fans are cheering the evil villain.

Reigns powers out of something like the Rings of Saturn but can’t knock the confetti off of HHH’s head. It’s back to the armbar until Reigns FINALLY gets the break with a powerbomb. That goes nowhere so WE HIT ANOTHER ARMBAR BECAUSE THIS MATCH NEEDS TO BE ALL LONG AND EPIC AND STUFF! Another powerbomb breaks the hold again but the spear is countered into a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop to the floor.

The fans start singing to placate their boredom until the spear gets….no count because Stephanie pulls the referee out. Now Stephanie gets in to yell at the referee, earning herself a spear and turning Reigns into the biggest star in the world (for about thirty seconds). If my memory serves me right, she hasn’t taken a bump in nearly a year since then, or really had anything bad happen to her that lasted more than a day or two.

The Pedigree gives us the first hot near fall of the match and it’s the Superman Punch to drop HHH. The second spear is broken up with a knee and Stephanie hands HHH the sledgehammer (She took a spear less than four minutes ago so OF COURSE she’s capable of doing that. This woman is scary.). Not that it matters as another Superman Punch and the spear give Reigns the title back at 27:04.

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

This needed to be about fifteen minutes shorter and we would have had the same result: Reigns winning and getting booed out of the building because people just don’t want to see him in this spot. There was a total lack of hatred and violence here and it really dragged things down, which is far too often the case for any given HHH match. It’s one of the worst Wrestlemania main events ever and there’s really no way around that.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t think of a single show that is so completely different from the first half to the second. The worst thing about the first few matches is the booking with the worst match being a somewhat dull six man tag. If you cut this off after the Women’s Title, this is one of the better pay per views I’ve seen in several years.

Then the Cell was lowered, kicking off the last “four” matches (counting Rock vs. Rowan) and the long segment. When you add up the Cell, the Rock segment and the main event, they all combined for over two hours. That’s two REALLY bad matches and a segment that went on far too long (but was entertaining at times) adding up to an episode of Smackdown. Clip off fifteen minutes from Shane vs. Undertaker (and another five from the intro/post match stuff), ten from Rock’s stuff (say, him playing with a flamethrower) and AT LEAST ten off the main event and this is instantly a less horrible show.

Unlike most pay per views, Wrestlemania is almost exclusively remembered for two to three matches more often than not. Therefore, it’s a major problem when your two main matches are long and rather horrible. It was hard to keep interest in this show even sitting in the stadium and that should not happen. There’s a lot of good stuff in the first half though and switching the order up would have helped out a lot. Unfortunately that’s completely the opposite of what they did as it was all stupid booking overshadowing the good and then REALLY bad stuff covering the rest of the show.

It’s easy to see why this show is remembered so poorly when the second half is just such a wreck. It felt like a huge way to have the fans get annoyed while WWE laughs and says “we’ve got all your money”. You shouldn’t leave Wrestlemania talking about how bad the show was when there was so much good going on. The bad completely outweighs the good here and there was no way anything else was going to be remembered. Awful show that lives down to its reputation.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as most people really weren’t looking forward to it. The card isn’t that bad on paper but the interest is still low. Reigns vs. Lesnar isn’t the most exciting main event and the idea of HHH vs. Sting as a regular match is borderline terrifying. The show has surprised me before though so let’s get to it.

The set is HUGE this year with a very wide stage and a big circle for the Titantron looking like a play button on the WWE Network. It’s another open air stadium and since it’s on the west coast, the sun is shining very brightly for a unique look.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. New Day

One fall to a finish. Kidd and Cesaro, with Kidd’s wife Natalya, are defending and it’s Kofi Kingston/Big E. (minus the Langston) for New Day with Xavier Woods in their corner. The Usos (in San Francisco 49ers colors) have Jimmy’s wife Naomi and Los Matadores still have El Torito. Cesaro and Kofi start fighting with Kingston scoring a quick dropkick but Diego tags himself in.

A ticked off Cesaro pulls Jey off the apron and whips him into the barricade, re-aggravating a shoulder injury and taking Jey out. Kofi monkey flips Diego for two and gets punched in the face as Jey is being taken to the back. Back to Cesaro for a chinlock before the Swing sends Kofi into Kidd’s dropkick. Kofi gets kicked into the corner so Jimmy can tag himself in for a superkick to Cesaro.

Kidd, Fernando, Big E. and Cesaro are all down in a corner and Jimmy nails the running Umaga hip attack to each one of them. Kofi dives onto Diego as any semblance of the tagging has been abandoned. Kidd springboards into a superkick from Jimmy, who charges into an uppercut from Cesaro. Big E. comes in and launches Kofi into a double knee to Cesaro’s chest for two.

Cesaro’s apron superplex takes Big E. down and Los Matadores add a powerbomb/Backstabber combo to Kofi with Kidd breaking up the pin. Kofi goes after Kidd on the floor but has to catch Torito, allowing Natalya to put the bull in a Sharpshooter to continue a stupid mini feud. Jimmy and Naomi dive onto Kidd, Kofi and Fernando. Back in and the Midnight Hour (Big Ending from Big E. (a powerslam drop) and a middle rope DDT from Kofi) plants Diego with Jimmy and Cesaro making stereo saves.

Fernando switches with Diego for a rollup on Big E. but the referee says he’s not legal. If that’s true, I want to buy that referee a ham sandwich. Big E. picks up Diego and Kidd at the same time but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick. Kidd eats Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro uppercuts Kofi on top. Los Matadores go up top for a double superplex but Cesaro and Big E. make it a double Tower of Doom. JBL: “OH THE HUMANITY!” Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Big E. but Cesaro steals the pin at retain at 9:58.

Rating: B. Total and complete insanity here (described as a car wreck by the commentators) which was all it needed to be. They didn’t go with a copy of last year’s match, even though a lot of the participants were the same. Kidd and Cesaro were really clicking as a team and the division as a whole was looking up until Kidd’s injury in June.

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Adam Rose, Alex Riley, Big E., Big Show, Bo Dallas, Cesaro, Curtis Axel, Damien Mizdow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Goldust, Heath Slater, Hideo Itami, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Konnor, Mark Henry, Ryback, Sin Cara, The Miz, Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Viktor, Xavier Woods, Zack Ryder

Rose loves to party, Riley is back from injury, Axel is dressed like Hulk Hogan in a gimmick called Axelmania after he was never officially eliminated from the 2015 Royal Rumble, Dallas is a self-obsessed motivational speaker, Mizdow is Sandow copying the Miz as his stunt double (and becoming incredibly popular due to how hard he’s worked at the character), Itami is an NXT guy who won a tournament for this spot and Konnor and Viktor are a power team called the Ascension. The seven people from the opening match are surprise additions to this.

Axel breaks up the brawling to start so he can rip off his shirt, earning himself an elimination from the masses. Everyone keeps fighting until Rose and Fandango eliminate each other. Miz and Mizdow double team Riley and get rid of him with Miz taking the credit. Dallas eliminates Ryder, takes a victory lap, and then gets kicked out by Itami. The fans are way into him so here’s Big Show to eliminate Itami before anyone gets too excited.

Kane gets rid of Los Matadores at the same time and Cesaro does the same to Rose. Henry throws out Kidd but the ring is still WAY too full. Ascension gets rid of Henry and knocks Show down in a stupid move. Ryback dumps Ascension for their brilliance, followed by Young and Slater a few seconds after. Titus goes out too and it’s all Ryback, so Big Show is RIGHT THERE to cut him off.

Show clotheslines Swagger out and takes out all three members of New Day from the apron. You WILL respect Big Show and his amazing strength whether you like it or not. We’re down to Show, Rowan, Uso, Ryback, Cesaro, Goldust, Miz, Mizdow and Kane. The fans are behind Mizdow as Show dumps Rowan.

Ryback gets rid of Goldust but Kane saves Big Show for no logical reason. Miz and Mizdow take a double chokeslam from Kane, who is quickly slammed out by Cesaro. Show dumps Jimmy but gets picked up by Cesaro again, only to escape and dump Cesaro with ease. Ryback grabs a spinebuster on Show and is eliminated for trying to get any momentum.

It’s Miz, Mizdow and Show for the final three but Mizdow FINALLY stands up to Miz and tells him to go do it himself. Miz gets annoyed and yells at him for about a minute as Show just stands back and watch. Mizdow snaps and eliminates Miz and gets to fight Big Show on his own. Some clotheslines have the giant in trouble and Mizdow low bridges him halfway out. Show gets back up and shrugs off a front facelock before easily eliminating Mizdow at 18:08.

Rating: D. So yeah, all hail Big Show, may his name forever be praised, because he’s big and strong and bald and was here back in 1999 so we must give him a win. On top of that, they were trying to push the idea that Big Show had never won a battle royal, ignoring the one he won on Smackdown in 2014 and the one he won on Raw in 2006.

Instead of using this to make Mizdow into someone important, they went with Big Show because he just hasn’t won anything important in a long time. This was it for Mizdow as he would lose the big showdown with Miz less than a month later and pretty much disappear. Big Show on the other hand would do exactly the same thing he’s done for about the last ten years: be treated like a monster and then lose to someone new. Except here of course because Mizdow winning would have been stupid.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is hosted by LL Cool J and talks about how entertainment has evolved with everyone being connected. The one thing that has stayed the same though is us as we’ve watched moment after moment in the history of Wrestlemania. That generation at the beginning created what we see today and connects us all together. Tonight, these men and women will take the biggest stage and connect us all. This is Wrestlemania. Cool stuff here and it worked very well.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

Ladder match and Barrett is defending after issuing a challenge for a bunch of people to fight him. Stardust is Cody Rhodes as an even freakier version of Goldust. Truth is scared of heights and is going to have some issues in this one. It’s a huge brawl to start and Ambrose takes Harper down with a suicide dive. Stardust jumps off the middle rope and lands on a bunch of people (the Falling Star), leaving Harper to dive on everyone but Ambrose.

Dean climbs a ladder and dives on the other six to put all seven of them down. Truth is the first one back in but he can’t bring himself to climb. It’s Barrett with the save but Bryan dropkicks a ladder into him before whipping Stardust into the ladder to crush Barrett even more. The momentum is stopped as Harper throws the ladder at Bryan but he’s able to tie Harper upside down in the ladder for the YES Kicks.

That earns Bryan a superkick from Ziggler and it’s Dean and Dolph going for a climb. Barrett joins them but Stardust takes out the ladder to put everyone down. The fans chant CODY to freak Stardust out so he throws a ladder at Harper. Stardust goes outside and pulls out his own ladder called the, and I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Starbird. In other words, it’s a ladder covered in glitter.

Barrett will have none of that and breaks a rung off to give Stardust a beating. Dean throws the glitter ladder at Barrett and the glitter falls all over the ring. Now it’s time to bring in two small ladders so Harper and Ambrose can have a duel, capped off by a boot to Dean’s face. Harper lays a smaller ladder on the top rope and rams Dean into it face first. The ladder around Luke’s head takes some people out but Truth drop toeholds Harper down, sending him into the ladder.

Truth sets up the big ladder but Stardust goes for the climb, only to get superplexed back down by Barrett. Bryan, Ziggler and Ambrose go up top until Dean drops down and shoves the ladder over. Dean goes up until Harper powerbombs him off the ladder and through a ladder bridged between the barricade and ring. Ziggler tries a sleeper on Harper as he climbs, followed by the Zig Zag to bring them crashing down.

Somehow Dolph is able to climb up, only to have Barrett pull him down into the Bull Hammer. Another one knocks Truth off but Bryan makes a quick climb and kicks Barrett down. Barrett is right back up though and makes a save, followed by a quick running knee from Bryan, allowing him to climb up, headbutt Ziggler off and win the title at 13:55.

Rating: B. Giving Bryan a title (the fifth different one he’s fought for in five years) is a good idea as it lets the fans get it out of their system with a feel good moment. If he hadn’t won here, the fans would have probably hijacked the show with their DANIEL BRYAN chants because if Bryan isn’t the featured attraction, there’s no way they can possibly enjoy the show. Some fans. Anyway, this was exactly what the match should have been: Money in the Bank but for a title. Unfortunately Bryan would get hurt again and be out of action in less than a month, putting him on the shelf indefinitely.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton. Rollins broke up the Shield last year and became the Authority’s young ace, which ticked Orton off. This led to a feud with Rollins putting Orton on the shelf (meaning onto a movie set) with a Curb Stomp onto some steps. Then Orton returned and rejoined the Authority for a few weeks, only to turn on them again and attack Rollins to set this up. After all that stupid, they went with a simpler idea: Orton as the original future of the WWE vs. Rollins as the new future.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank and has Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his personal stooges. Seth starts by flipping away from Orton, only to eat a dropkick and bail to the floor from the threat of an RKO. Back in and a big clothesline looks to set up the RKO again but the Stooges offer a distraction to break it up. Orton deals with them early off a double elevated DDT from the apron.

The distraction lets Seth get in his first offense though and Orton is in trouble. A snap suplex gets two and we’re in the chinlock on Orton. Back up and Orton grabs a powerslam, followed by a t-bone suplex to send Rollins to the apron. As luck would have it, he’s in position for the elevated DDT but Seth pops up with an enziguri, followed by an Asai moonsault to put both guys on the floor.

Back in and Randy can’t get a superplex but he’ll settle for a top rope backdrop and a high cross body, only to have Seth roll through for two. A low superkick staggers Orton and Seth tries standing Sliced Bread #2, only to get caught in the RKO for a very close two. That’s a move you don’t see kicked out of very often. The Stooges break up the Punt to keep this PG, allowing Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two. Seth tries it again but this time Orton launches him into the air and catches him in the RKO for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: B. Good but not great here with the near falls off the false finishes not having the best heat in the world. That ending is more than worth it though and looked awesome with Orton being able to catch that thing from almost anywhere. Orton is the kind of guy that you can throw in there whenever you need a spot like this and the fans are going to freak out over the RKO every time, especially when it’s something like that. Good stuff.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting, which started back at Survivor Series but Sting disappeared for a few months, as is his custom. Sting stood up against the Authority’s corruption so the Authority talked down to him for never being in the big pond before, because WCW’s legacy exists for WWE to stomp on it and beat their chest over the battle that ended fourteen years ago. This turned into a big thing about the Monday Night Wars with Sting being the last soldier from WCW that had to be vanquished.

As a side note, here’s a great example of why Stephanie gets on people’s nerves. On one of the last shows before this match, Sting came out to say that this shouldn’t be about the Monday Night Wars because that would be totally ridiculous. This brought out Stephanie, to insist that it WAS about the Monday Night Wars and barely letting Sting get in another word, because she had spoken and that’s all that mattered.

HHH vs. Sting

No DQ or countout. Sting is played to the ring by some kind of Japanese band with drums and a gong. As you might expect, HHH completely upstages him with a full on Terminator commercial with the robots rising from the stage, a clip from the movie, HHH dressed as a Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appearing on screen for the introduction. It might be time to call in Robocop.

They lock up after forty five seconds and a shoulder drops HHH for more stalling. A hiptoss and dropkick put HHH in the corner and Sting is looking better than he has in years. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” HHH’s right hands and facebuster have little effect as Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock (basically a Sharpshooter), sending HHH bailing to the floor. HHH comes back in but gets whipped over the corner as this has been one sided for the first five minutes.

Sting goes to the floor though and the Stinger Splash hits the barricade by mistake, as it’s done all but roughly twice in his career. Back in and HHH whips him across the ring several times until Sting collapses. We hit the chinlock to slow things down again before HHH goes to the middle rope for some reason. He dives into the Scorpion and here’s DX (X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws) for the save.

Sting fights them off with ease and backdrops HHH onto them, setting up a dive off the top (remember that Sting is 56 here) to take them all out. Back in and a Pedigree gets two so HHH gets the sledgehammer (one of at least two under the ring). This brings out the NWO (Hall, Nash and Hogan) to save Sting (SO much wrong with that statement, not even counting trying to remember if the Kliq exists in storylines or not). They take their sweet time and eventually clean house, allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) for two.

Now the Deathlock goes on and Hogan pulls the sledgehammer away. Gunn takes Nash down and Nash is holding his leg in what almost has to be a rib. Sting tries to put the hold back on but Shawn Michaels runs in for Sweet Chin Music (well the area a few inches in front of the chin that is). HHH only gets two and both guys are done. Shawn hands HHH the hammer but Hall gives Sting a bat for the awesome duel. HHH’s hammer is broken over the bat and Sting pounds away in the corner, only to dive into the sledgehammer to the face for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. This was a blast until the ending which I really didn’t want to see. Of course the quality here was bad but they were never going to get a good match out there so why not just go for the big circus act? I know the logic is that you can’t have Sting come in and beat HHH because he was WCW, but again, IT WAS FOURTEEN YEARS AGO.

Why does anything about the other company matter anymore? Sting came in as a big, fun moment and then it’s HAHA HHH WINS AGAIN! To be fair though, this was his first Wrestlemania win in five years so it’s not like it happens often. Still though, fun stuff but the ending was a punch to the stomach.

Post match HHH shakes Sting’s hand. As in the guy he hit in the face with a hammer two minutes ago. This doesn’t make any sense as HHH is still the corrupt villain, meaning Sting’s original mission should be ongoing. Forget all that though as this was one more rehash of the Monday Night Wars because people still care about that.

Ads for new shows coming to the WWE Network, including the new Divas Search.

Maria Menunos, in a Bushwhackers shirt, brings in Daniel Bryan. First ever Intercontinental Champion Pat Patterson comes in to congratulate him, as do Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair (of course) and Bret Hart, who starts a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and scares them all before hitting his catchphrase.

Skylar Grey, Kid Ink and Travis Barker perform the theme songs. Thankfully it wasn’t a full on medley.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Real people vs. reality stars (from Total Divas), even though Paige had already become a cast member. Nikki is Divas Champion and in the middle of her reign of doom. Paige debuted at the Raw after Wrestlemania last year and has formed a dream team with AJ to take on the sisters.

Nikki and Paige have a catfight to start with the champ getting the better of it and knocking AJ off the apron. An Alabama Slam gets two on off an Alabama Slam. Brie comes in with a middle rope missile dropkick as the announcers debate the importance of the women not on Total Divas. AJ gets knocked off the apron again and Brie’s running knee to Paige gets two.

Back to Nikki who drops AJ for the third time, followed by the Rack Attack for two on Paige. They’re even kicking out of the finishers in midcard matches now. Paige superkicks Nikki down and both Bellas wind up on the floor, setting up Paige’s flip dive off the apron. The hot tag FINALLY brings in AJ who is quickly slammed down for two but Brie has to save Nikki from the Black Widow. Nikki forearms AJ for two more, only to get caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 6:42.

Rating: C-. This was a handicap match for the first half with Paige cleaning house, which was made even weirder when AJ came in anyway. Not that it mattered though as the Bellas were going to be pushed as the stars as long as they wanted to because of that stupid reality show. In theory this should have set up AJ as the next challenger but she retired later in the week and left the company for good.

We get a tale of the tape for Lesnar vs. Reigns, which Cole says is the result of a computer analysis. The stats include height, weight and career accomplishments. Did this computer analysis take place in the Korean War?

Hall of Fame video, with highlights of Lanny Poffo reading a poem to induct his brother Randy Savage and Connor Michalek receiving the first Warrior Award.

The Class of 2015 includes Rikishi, Larry Zbyszko (mainly famous in the 80s), Alundra Blayze, Connor Michalek, the Bushwhackers (with Butch on crutches but still doing the strut), Tatsumi Fujinami (a legendary Japanese wrestler), Randy Savage (represented by his brother), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Kevin Nash (for the required Kliq member, though I wonder why he can go in under his real name and not Hall).

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev for the US Title. Rusev, an evil Bulgarian/Russian, won the title late last year and is undefeated. He’s run through all kinds of American stars and even beat Cena via knockout at Fast Lane 2015. Tonight is the big rematch (as granted by Rusev’s manager Lana to plant the seeds for their split) and showdown for the title. This is one of those stories that worked for years and is still working now because it’s such a simple idea.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. Rusev’s entrance trumps everything tonight as the Russian military accompanies Lana to the ring before Rusev rolls out IN A TANK. This is so Rocky IV. Cena has a video montage of Presidents of the United States talking about American exceptionalism until Cena walks out. The fans do the always awesome JOHN CENA SUCKS chant to the tune of his music.

The champ spinwheel kicks the American down to start and dives at Cena for a gutwrench suplex (from Rusev in a cool move) for two. A Cannonball in the corner gets the same but Rusev stops to wave the Russian flag. You don’t do that to a real American so Cena kicks him in the face and starts his way too early finishing sequence. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the fans are too busy cheering for Lana to care.

The AA is broken up and a jumping superkick drops Cena cold. Rusev argues with the referee though and Cena hooks a tornado DDT for two more. A quick Alabama Slam (that’s how you do it Nikki) looks to set up the Accolade (Rusev’s camel clutch finisher) but Cena pulls him down into the STF. As Cena does some of the loudest instructing I’ve ever heard (telling Rusev to keep his head up), Lana throws in a shoe for a distraction so Rusev can make the ropes. Seriously, a shoe? You couldn’t like, go yell at him or something? At least it was rather heelish.

Rusev throws him down with a fall away slam, followed by a top rope headbutt of all things for two. He can’t quite get the Accolade though, allowing Cena to kick him away and debut the springboard Stunner for two of his own. Another jumping superkick and a wheelbarrow slam set up the Accolade and the fans are THRILLED. This time Cena powers out and grabs the STF. Lana offers another distraction but Rusev rams into her by mistake, setting up the AA to give Cena the title at 14:43.

Rating: C+. It’s cool to see Cena drop down the card like this as he’s been in the main event for so long now that it’s hard to get into seeing him win the World Title again. The match was good enough even if there was an obvious ending but the Accolade could have stayed on longer. Rusev was built up to lose at a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with that. It would have been interesting to see Rusev escape again here though and have Cena chase him over the summer.

Rusev blames Lana for the loss.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

The pre-show panel talks about the Tag Team Title match and Big Show winning the battle royal. Thanks for reminding me.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to brag about the new attendance record and desperately fill in some time as we have two matches left and nearly an hour and a half to go. Stephanie talks about watching Wrestlemania I live and seeing her friend Andre the Giant (This was a thing for her around this time as she would mention this whenever she could. For some reason this was her justification for not letting Cena be in the Andre battle royal.).

Wrestlemania has grown exponentially since then and it’s all because of the Authority’s leadership. HHH says it’s like he beat everyone here tonight, just like he beat Sting (Buy a ticket, get a hammer to the face!). They own everyone here because the Authority wins. That means they own the people and that means it’s time for the Rock. Cole says Rock has headlined five Wrestlemanias. Are they really still going with the idea that Rock vs. Hogan wasn’t the headliner?

The fans keep cheering until Stephanie asks them to be quiet because we get the idea. Rock tells Stephanie that she doesn’t own the people here, including himself because he was born right around here. As for HHH, he can either go dress up as the Terminator again or they can make a Wrestlemania moment right here and right now. HHH doesn’t seem interested so, just like Rock left his heart in San Francisco, HHH clearly left something back in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in Rock’s face and says he knows there’s no Rock without the McMahons. Rock’s dad Rocky Johnson would be nowhere without Vince Sr., Vince Jr. and Stephanie. That starts a chant for Shane, which even Cole acknowledges. Rock says that Stephanie would be nowhere without Vince so she slaps him. Stephanie keeps ranting as Rock goes outside……and stands next to Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock introduces her to Stephanie but Stephanie says they’re friends already.

Stephanie KEEPS GOING and says this is her ring. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so Stephanie can make her leave. Stephanie smiles at her but Rousey gives her a look, which Rock sums up as meaning “she’s going to reach down your throat, pull out your insides and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH tries to interrupt and gets beaten down, including a hiptoss from Rousey. Stephanie loads up the slap but gets her arm bent back with as little force as possible, likely due to UFC contract stipulations. Rousey and Rock stand tall.

There’s no time to recap Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker but it’s what you would expect: Bray wants to be the new evil monster and Undertaker stands in his way. The interesting note here is Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle earlier in the day so he’s nowhere near 100%.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

The awesome entrances continue (well as awesome as a guy holding a lantern when it’s still daylight can be) as Bray walks down the ramp and passes a string of zombies who come to life as he goes by. Undertaker has grown some hair back and looks like he did in 2002. Bray charges into a boot before the bell, though that might be all that ankle can handle for the match.

Some driving shoulders set up Old School (notice that Undertaker’s offense here keeps Bray from having to stand alone) but a running clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. He lands on his feet though and pulls Bray out to keep up the beating. The apron legdrop staggers Bray even more but he breaks up the big boot with his running cross body. Bray takes his time pounding Undertaker down which makes sense coming from him.

The ankle is fine enough for a running splash in the corner but Bray drops down and puts on a chinlock. For someone as banged up as he is, this is a solid performance from Wyatt. Undertaker’s head is rammed into the post but Bray goes down and holds his ankle. I don’t know why they didn’t do a quick angle during the match to explain the injury. Back in and Bray can’t stand at first.

Undertaker grabs Hell’s Gate but Bray punches his way out before it goes on full. A release Rock Bottom sets up the backsplash for two on Undertaker. Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam followed by a Tombstone for two. These near falls are WAY past overdone so far tonight. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail to freak Bray out even more. Bray does his spider bridge up but Undertaker sits up and glares into Wyatt’s eyes, sending Bray wilting to the mat in a perfect reaction. Bray actually wins a slugout but Sister Abigail is countered into a second Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This match told me a few things. First and foremost, last year’s match was so bad because of the injury. Undertaker looked like his old (emphasis on that word) self here and was nowhere near as off as he was last year. Unfortunately it also tells me that Bray isn’t going to move up the card any time soon.

With the Streak over there’s no real reason for Undertaker to win here, other than to give the fans a feel good moment. Bray was trying as hard as he could on one leg but he could only get so far. Finally, Undertaker is missing something now that the Streak is gone. 21-1 still sounds impressive but it’s just not the same.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock has been unstoppable lately after squashing Cena to win the title at Summerslam 2014. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot, despite being LOATHED by the crowd at this point. The idea became about him trying to honor his family’s history and legacy which worked to a degree, but no matter what they did, it was still Brock Lesnar on the other side and people wanted to see him massacre Reigns in every way he could think of.

The other problem for Reigns is he hasn’t really earned the spot. Aside from the Rumble, his only major win was last month over Daniel Bryan. This really wasn’t the strongest build in the world and is boiling down to Brock suplexes a lot and Reigns hits him a lot. Roman has been told he can’t beat Brock and his motivation is to prove him wrong. That’s the extent of his motivation and that’s not enough for the main event of Wrestlemania.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending of course. We do the big match intros and Reigns is booed out of the building, following by the fans to quote Heyman’s intro along with him. Roman goes right at Brock to start but gets driven into the corner, setting up the first German suplex. Brock is already bleeding but he hits the F5 inside of thirty seconds. A release fisherman’s suplex sends Reigns flying but he elbows out of a German, drawing incredible booing from the crowd.

Brock no sells a clothesline and now the German sends Reigns across the ring again. Reigns smiles at Brock, earning himself a belly to back suplex and Brock debuting the “SUPLEX CITY” line. Right hands don’t bother Brock either as another German drops Reigns again. Roman keeps smiling so Brock breaks it up with a release German. The fans think this is awesome as Brock forearms Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As he gets back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the ribs, followed by some kicks to the face but Brock catches a foot and knocks Reigns silly with a clothesline.

A belly to belly overhead brings Reigns back in over the top rope but Reigns shakes his head at Brock again. Another F5 gets two and now Brock take the gloves off. Some hard slaps put Reigns down but he tells Brock to bring it on. Another German earns him another bring it on so Brock gives him suplex number ten. The third F5 gets two more, putting Reigns past Undertaker last year. Brock takes Roman outside but Reigns posts him, drawing some real blood from Lesnar.

Back in and Brock is wobbly so Roman its two straight Superman Punches. That gets him to a knee but Reigns has to elbow out of another German. The third Superman Punch puts Brock down and there’s the spear. Brock is up though so a second spear gets a VERY close two. Heyman is on his knees praying as the fans are booing Roman even more. A fourth Superman Punch is countered into a fourth F5…….AND HERE COMES SETH ROLLINS TO CASH IN MONEY IN THE BANK!

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The Curb Stomp puts Brock down but Reigns has to spear Brock down to save Seth from an F5. Another Curb Stomp (and a whisper of “thank you so much” to Reigns) gives Seth the title at 16:43!

Rating: A-. They went in a TOTALLY different direction here and it was the best thing they possibly could have done. Reigns vs. Lesnar had little interest as a match but as a one sided war with Reigns giving it everything he had near the end, they turned it into one of the most dramatic spectacles you could find. They had me on the near fall after that second spear and I lost it when Rollins came out.

That ending was a stroke of brilliance as they didn’t want to job Lesnar but they didn’t want to give Reigns the title yet. Rollins had been the wrestler of the year in 2014 and it made much better sense to give him the credit that he deserved for it here. Great drama, great action, and a way better match that it had any right to be.

Fireworks and posing take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. I actually liked this show a lot more live, which probably had a lot to do with the expectations being so low coming in. With more time to think about it and the shock of the cash in being gone, it’s still a really strong show that FAR exceeded expectations. The main event was great and most of the other stuff was good. Aside from the main event there really isn’t a big blow away match though and that hurts things a bit.

The entire show was set up differently this year as there were very few backstage segments and the show was able to fly by otherwise. However, there was that big twenty plus minute segment with Rock/HHH/Stephanie and that’s what caused a big part of this show’s problem: it’s too long.

Counting the two hour pre-show and it’s nearly thirty minutes of wrestling, this show runs nearly six hours. It doesn’t matter if it’s the greatest show you’ve ever watched; that’s too long. There had to be something that could be cut in here (hint: it was the long part that didn’t involve a match), even though none of the matches broke twenty minutes. Between the big talking segment and the live performance, which still adds nothing to the show, there’s too much in here and it makes for a very long sit.

Overall though, this was a major surprise and a better show than it had any right to be. The low expectations helped it a lot, but this was looking like one of the worst Wrestlemanias in history and wound up being a lot of fun. Nothing on it really stands out above the rest (save for maybe the main event) so the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Really fun show here.

Ratings Comparison

New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Original: C+

Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: D

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match

Original: B

Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B-

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Rusev vs. John Cena

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Yeah the shock had a lot to do with it but there was good stuff throughout.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXX
Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is a special one for me and I’m glad that it was the other requested redo. I was in the stadium for this, marking my first ever Wrestleamania live. In case you’re really new at this, the show is all about Daniel Bryan, who will be facing HHH for a spot in the main event. He’s been riding on the strength of the YES Movement for months now and this is the grand finale. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores

The Usos are defending and this is under elimination rules. Zeb Colter introduces the Real Americans (Cesaro/Jack Swagger, which feels like it’s from forever ago). On the other hand, JBL wants to eat El Torito. Just in case you needed both sides of the spectrum there. I also forgot how much I miss the Siva Tao and the Usos’ theme. They’re just cool. Axel and Jey get things going as the fans chant WE THE PEOPLE. JBL gets in his own way by saying Colter is the greatest hero to be in New Orleans since Andrew Stonewall Jackson in 1814. You history buffs know how bad that sounds.

Axel runs Jey over with a clothesline and it’s already off to Ryback, who feels like a relic despite being in the company over two years after this. Ryback runs him over and bangs on his own chest but Diego tags himself in to cut things off. Why you would do that isn’t clear but never let that get in the way of a tag. Diego shrugs off the Usos’ double elbow and gets in an OLE! Somehow he’s still employed to this day so how can I mock him?

Cesaro tags himself in this time and the fans certainly seem to approve. A jumping back elbow puts Swagger down and Diego knocks him to the floor. The Real Americans, Ryback and the Usos are sent outside so Los Matadores him stereo dives. Axel won’t let Torito dive but Los Matadores catch him on top, allowing Torito to drive Axel onto the pile. Back in and the Patriot Lock makes Diego tap at 5:40 to get us down to three.

Axel tags himself in and snaps Jack’s neck across the top rope before running Jimmy over. Ryback gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and some knees to the back keep Jimmy in trouble. We hit the chinlock (notice the REST HOLD sign in the crowd because Wrestlemania fans think they’re rather intelligent) for a bit until Ryback is sent shoulder first into the post.

That’s enough to bring in Jey for the pop up Samoan drop on Axel. Swagger cuts him off with his belly to belly powerslam for two and it’s Ryback snapping off a string of spinebusters. The Meat Hook drops Swagger but Cesaro beaks up the Shell Shock. Cesaro isn’t done as it’s Swiss Death into the Neutralizer to eliminate Ryback and Axel at 11:47.

The fans are behind the Real Americans as we’re down to two teams. A double dive takes the Americans out but Cesaro pulls Jimmy out of the air with a backbreaker for two. It’s too early for the Swing though as Jey tags himself in. That’s fine with Cesaro, who uppercuts his head off too. Swagger grabs the Patriot Lock but Jimmy makes a save. Swiss Death drops Jimmy but Jey is back up with a Samoan drop to put everyone down. The Americans are sent into each other and it’s a double superkick into a double Superfly Splash to Cesaro to retain the titles at 16:13.

Rating: B+. Now THAT is how you do a Kickoff Show match. It was fast paced, it was energetic, the fans were into it (because the fans were already in the stadium and the wrestlers weren’t performing in front of a bunch of empty seats and 500 people) and it was a lot of fun. This match is really great stuff and it had everyone fired up for Wrestlemania. No complaints here and a heck of a performance.

Post match Swagger yells at Cesaro and blames him for the loss. Colter tells Jack to calm down but it’s a Patriot Lock to Cesaro instead. Zeb wants a handshake but Cesaro swings Jack, breaking up the team and making the fans cheer him even more. This should have been the start of a rocket push for Cesaro but it just never clicked for a variety of reasons.

The opening video starts with a man standing on a dark street when a marching band comes in. The voiceover says someone once said a good time starts when we lose track of time it is. “And man oh man, have we lost track of time.” The street fills up with people (and wrestlers, with the Bellas and their signature dance prominently featured) in a Mardi Gras style party with a Wrestlemania highlight package, both historical and modern, airing at the same time. This one didn’t click with me at first but it’s grown on me a lot over the years and now it’s amazing.

As odd as it may seem, the most exciting part of the night is the short stretch between the end of the opening video and the pyro going off. You know it’s coming and it’s just a few seconds away. That’s such a sweet feeling.

Cole: “This is Wrestlemania. Then, now and forever.”

We waste no time in introducing the host of Wrestlemania: Hulk Hogan. Well if you insist. At a milestone show like this, it would have been criminal to not have the most important man in the show’s history front and center. You can tell the fans are ALL over this as they’re losing it over every look he gives the camera. “Well let me tell you something brother” has them even more rabid and I was certainly one of them.

We get the infamous line of Hogan calling it the Silverdome (To this day I still believe that was intentional. Hogan is the oldest player in the business and what’s the big thing that people remember from this? Him slipping up on the line. Then you laugh and chuckle because it’s goofy, and Hogan looks funny in retrospective. That’s the kind of thing he would do.) and not getting why the fans are a little confused. Hogan recaps the first Wrestlemania and messes up the location again.

This time reality sets in and he makes the correction, saying he was thinking about bodyslamming Andre the Giant. Hogan promising more Wrestlemania moments, and you never know when one of those will happen. Then the glass shatters, and the place goes coconuts. I’ve seen a lot of wrestling and it takes a lot to surprise me, but I lost it at this point. This was special and WWE knew what they had here, which is why this is one of the best moments they’ve done in a very long time.

Austin hits all four corners and does a quick staredown for a very cool image. It’s good to be back here at the SILVERDOME and Austin even praises Hogan for everything he did at Wrestlemania I-X (he wasn’t at X but I can live with it here). Austin brings up the two of them wanting to protect their legacies before shaking Hogan’s hand and saying he respects Hogan and everything he’s done for the business. He hits the catchphrase…..and here’s the Rock just in case this wasn’t amazing enough already.

Rock takes his sweet time getting to the ring (it’s a four hour show so it’s acceptable) and even shows off the goosebumps. After hugs and posing, we pause for the completely appropriate THIS IS AWESOME chant. Rock says all five of his senses are on fire because you can see and hear the people, taste it and feel it and OF COURSE you can smell it because FINALLY, the Rock has come back to Wrestlemania. Which means, the three of them have finally come back to the SUPERdome. That means a SUPERDOME chant and thankfully Hogan takes it in stride.

Rock talks about seeing his good friend and his childhood hero, who are the biggest names in the history of the WWE. He’s faced them both at Wrestlemania and they’ve both had an incredible impact on that locker room. Tonight, someone is going to come out here and fight in the name of hustle, loyalty and respect (fans aren’t happy) and that doesn’t happen if Hogan hadn’t promised to say his prayers and take his vitamins. Tonight, someone is going to come out here and rise against the Authority (pause for YES chant) and that doesn’t happen if a bald headed SOB didn’t cross the boss.

Those are facts, just like so many WWE fans having birthdays nine months after Wrestlemania. It’s because of Rock you see. Rock: “Just wait for January. A lot of Rock Babies running around.” Rock even throws out some Wrestlemania rhyming before catchphrases are spoken (with Hogan making sure to say SUPERdome) and beer is consumed. I was ready to go home at this point because this couldn’t have been done better no matter who they brought out. This was special, and that’s how you start a show this important.

Oh yeah. We have three and a half hours left.

We recap HHH vs. Daniel Bryan with the incredible Monster video. The idea is that Bryan has fought his way up the card because this is all that he’s ever wanted to do. Bryan kept fighting his way up, eventually winning the World Title. HHH and Stephanie McMahon, the Authority, didn’t want someone so small and plain being the face of the WWE.

Less than five minutes after becoming champion, HHH then cost him the title, setting up a major feud. The fans would have none of this though and hijacked nearly every show, chanting for Bryan and the YES Movement all night long. Bryan knew he would have to beat HHH once and for all at Wrestlemania, but that’s not all. The winner of the match will move on to the main event for the title.

Make no mistake about it: this push and this feud played a major role in changing WWE for years to come, as the fans suddenly realized that they could power their chosen star to the top of the company. I highly, highly recommend you see this video as it’s one of the best videos WWE has ever put together. You might be noticing a trend in that direction so far tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. HHH

Stephanie, in some very revealing shorts, introduces HHH. Now since this is Wrestlemania, HHH appears on a throne with three gorgeous masked women (Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss) surrounding him. They remove his robe and armor and HHH takes off his skull helmet before the regular music comes on. As usual it’s a lot, but also as usual it’s hard to ignore the three women around him. Dang indeed. Bryan is coming in with a very bad shoulder.

After a minute of staring each other down, Bryan kicks away an offered handshake and gets two off a rollup. Some kicks in the corner have HHH in trouble and the threat of a big kick sends him bailing to the floor. Back in and a hard shoulder to Bryan’s bad shoulder puts him down but it’s a headlock takeover to put HHH down as well. HHH is completely outclassed on the mat so he drives Bryan into the corner as the DANIEL BRYAN chants start up.

A shot to the leg cuts Bryan off again but Bryan is right back up with a tornado DDT off the apron (sloppy, but it did its job) to drop HHH. Bryan follows up with a cannonball off the top to the floor and everyone is down again. Well not Stephanie of course. Like she would ever do what everyone else was doing.

Back in and Bryan gets crotched on top as Stephanie shouts that he’ll never win. They fight outside again and while HHH can’t get the Pedigree onto the announcers’ table, he can drive the shoulder into the table to really take over. Now the real arm work begins with a DDT on the arm and some good old fashioned cranking.

Bryan kicks him away for a second and loads up a suicide dive, only to get punched out of the air to keep HHH in full control. They’re doing a very good job here with the slow beatdown as you don’t want to have Bryan make his comeback too soon. It makes it that much better to give him a beating like this and let it sink in. A crossface chckenwing into a crossface (hold the chickenwing) stays on the arm but Bryan makes the rope. Bryan slugs away and scores with a running forearm, followed by a pair of German suplexes for a pair of two’s.

That’s it for the offense though HHH goes out of the comfort zone with a tiger suplex (what an odd thing to type) to cut Bryan off again. The one suplex worked so well for HHH that he tries the super version, only to get reversed into a sunset bomb. It’s time for the running dropkicks in the corner but a heck of a clothesline turns Bryan inside out (Stephanie: “YEAH!!! WOO!!!”).

This time it’s Bryan popping up with the kick to the head but the Swan Dive hits a raised knee. Why that doesn’t hurt HHH’s knee isn’t clear. Granted he’s too busy going back to the Crossface to care. The grip starts to slip away as Bryan crawls over to the ropes (it’s barely on his forehead) but HHH rolls it back to the middle. Bryan finally switches it over into the YES Lock but a rope is reached. It’s time to get fired up with back to back suicide dives and YES Kicks against the barricade, followed by the missile dropkick back inside.

The shoulder being banged up doesn’t seem to bother Bryan as he nips up for more kicks to the chest. The running knee is countered into a spinebuster though and the Pedigree….gets two, sending the fans right back into their frenzy. JBL and Stephanie are both stunned and a small package for two on HHH makes things even worse. Some more Pedigree attempts are countered so HHH knees him in the head. A third attempt is countered so HHH tries a belly to back suplex. Bryan flips out, lands on his feet, and hits the running knee to go to the main event at 25:55.

Rating: A. Excellent performance and storytelling from both here as Bryan survives everything HHH has to throw at him and wins in the end through pure determination. This was all about HHH being confident that he was the better man coming in and getting frustrated that he couldn’t stop Bryan. You could see the desperation coming in when the Pedigree only got two and there was nothing else he could throw at Bryan.

Also, Stephanie added a lot here with the constant screaming, to the point where you were begging to see her lose. What made it work though was she DID lose and got shown up, a rarity for her. Outstanding stuff here though with everyone doing their thing as well as they could have in a classic match.

Post match Stephanie slaps Bryan for a distraction, allowing HHH to wrap the arm around the post and crush it with a chair. Again: HHH lost his control and is acting like the old savage instead of the corporate boss that he’s become. That’s a nice touch.

New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield

Kane and the Shield both work for the Authority but they’ve been having issues as of late. A few weeks back, Kane sent out the Outlaws and a few other teams to beat Shield down, seemingly going rogue on HHH in the process. Shield comes through the crowd with those thankfully short-lived half masks until Kane INSANELY LOUD pyro interrupts.

Kane and Ambrose slug it out to start with Dean getting the better of it. Reigns comes in to no reaction (oh, it’ll come) and cleans house with the jumping clotheslines and a Samoan drop. The double apron kick hits both Outlaws and everything breaks down in a hurry. Ambrose breaks up a Fameasser attempt on Reigns and there’s a Superman Punch to Gunn.

That leaves Billy all alone so the Outlaws bail, earning a double suicide dive from Rollins and Ambrose. The spear drops Kane and a double spear puts the Outlaws down. It’s a double TripleBomb to the Outlaws (JBL: “There goes the Attitude Era.”) for the double pin at 2:55. Total and complete squash as the Shield has basically turned face already.

Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter are playing with action figures, with DANNY DAVIS refereeing. Ricky Steamboat comes in to challenge….but that’s not happening because Ted DiBiase has bought the toys. I chuckled, though I wonder why Duggan isn’t wearing a shirt. Ron Simmons, cameo, swearing, you get the joke.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Big Show, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, The Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Mark Henry, Titus O’Neil, Santino Marella, Brad Maddox, Darren Young, Justin Gabriel, Yoshi Tatsu, David Otunga, Big E, Fandango, The Miz, Jinder Mahal, Rey Mysterio, Tyson Kidd, Goldust, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, Brodus Clay, Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, Sin Cara, Xavier Woods, Cesaro, R-Truth

Only Sheamus and Big Show get entrances. One thing WWE is VERY good at is sneaking the people to the ring when something (the legends segment) is on the screen distracting you. I was surprised when the lights came back on and the ring was filled up. Yoshi is out first as there are way too many people in there at once to keep track of much. Cody and Kofi are sent over the top but hang in, resulting in a battle of kicks to the ribs as they hang over the apron. Cool visual if nothing else and they both get back in.

There goes Maddox (still Raw GM at this point) and Khali’s chop gets rid of Clay. Khali is dumped out by a posse and McIntyre gorilla presses Ryder out. 3MB tosses Young but Henry tosses all three of them (including future WWE Champion Jinder Mahal). Show eliminates Henry as the ring is getting a lot less full in a hurry. Sheamus dumps Titus and Santino loads up the Cobra because that’s his one joke and he’s going to use it every chance he can.

The Cobra gets rid of Miz (erg) but Alberto throws Santino out in a replay of the 2011 Rumble. There goes Sandow as you can at least see the mat again. Woods was put out off camera and Big E. powerbombs Gabriel out in a big crash. Otunga is out next as even Lawler is acknowledging the rapid eliminations. Fandango kicks out Big E. (Intercontinental Champion in a miserable reign) and the Fandangoing begins. Unfortunately he spends WAY too much time on the apron, allowing Sheamus to hit about 30 forearms to the chest for an elimination.

Truth gets tossed as well and Show mocks the dancing for an unfunny moment. For some reason Rey goes after Show, greatly pleasing JBL who wants Show to eat him. With Sin Cara eliminated off camera, Kidd is tossed as well and Del Rio enziguris Goldust out. We’re down to Cody, Alberto, Kofi, Ziggler, Sheamus, Big Show, Cesaro and Mysterio. Before I can finish tying that list, Cody gets tossed to get us down to seven. The 619 hits Alberto but Cesaro blocks a second attempt and uppercuts Rey out. JBL: “Good.”

Cesaro LAUNCHES Kofi over the top…but his feet land on the steps for his annual save. I’ve always liked that one. Kofi comes back in for his run of Troubles in Paradise until Cesaro pulls him out of the air for the Swing. Cesaro is so dizzy that he walks into a chokeslam but a Brogue Kick drops Show. A second eliminates Kofi and now it’s Ziggler’s turn to get our hopes up. Thankfully Del Rio superkicks him out, much to the crowd’s annoyance. Give it a few more years and see how much you care.

Ever the nitwit, Del Rio puts Sheamus in the cross armbreaker but Sheamus powers him up, only to tumble over the top for a double elimination. We’re down to Cesaro vs. Big Show and you know who the fans are behind here. Some uppercuts and clotheslines rock Show but he throws Cesaro to the apron. A chop knocks Cesaro out of the air but he PICKS SHOW UP (ala Hogan slamming Andre) and throws him over the top to win at 13:24.

Rating: D+. Nothing special for a battle royal but that’s to be expected with so many people in there at once. Like I said earlier though, there is no excuse for this not to have launched Cesaro to the moon. The fans wanted to see it happen, he has the skills and they gave him a great moment to set it up. Now how could that possibly fail? Putting him with Heyman really was a death sentence as it brings this expectation and there’s no way around it, which ultimately sank him. Great moment here though and that’s at least hope for the future.

Show shakes Cesaro’s hand and leaves. It takes five referees to bring the trophy into the ring so Cesaro lifts it up by himself.

We recap John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt. Bray hadn’t even been around for a year at this point and it’s his first major match after several months of midcarding it. I’m still not sure what the idea here is, but Wyatt started talking about wanting to destroy Cena’s legacy. I think it was supposed to be giving in to Cena’s inner anger or turning to the dark side, but it wound up with Cena being scared of the Wyatts and saying he’d fight anyway. They were really bad about making the intent clear, which could be said about a lot of Wyatt matches.

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

Wyatt is played to the ring with a bunch of (I think) voodoo dancers and fire around him for a CREEPY visual. Harper and Rowan are here too with Rowan dragging the rocking chair. What a way to debut at Wrestlemania. Cena’s big entrance? Running to the ring. Wyatt drops to his knees and offers Cena a free shot, allowing Cena to “be the monster”. Cena tells him to get up before grabbing a headlock takeover.

That goes nowhere so an uppercut puts Cena down instead. Some maniacal laughter ensues and Wyatt says Cena doesn’t want to fight him. Bray runs him over with a body block but Cena is right back with the clothesline as he goes into a bit of a frenzy. That makes Bray smile and laugh again so Cena chokes in the corner as you can see the anger on his face. A running big boot (Huh?) drops Wyatt again but he’s right back with the suplex slam (always looks painful).

The fans serenade the two of them with He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands and we hit the sleeper/chinlock to keep Cena down. You don’t chinlock Cena though as he comes back with the ProtoBomb but Bray spiders up to block the Shuffle. That’s still one of the coolest signature spots of its day. A release Rock Bottom gives Bray two and he conducts the fans as the singing begins again. Cena manages to get up top but gets powerbombed out of the air for a sick impact.

A spinning gutbuster gives Bray two and a DDT onto the apron knocks Cena even sillier (take a shot for the announcers reminding us that it’s the hardest part of the ring). The fans sing again, this time with their arms waving and Bray is smart enough to acknowledge them. Cena powers out of a superplex but dives onto Harper and Rowan, despite them barely being a factor so far.

Wyatt sends him into the steps, and says he knows what to do now. Apparently that would be take too much time picking up the steps and getting posted as a result. Cena can’t bring himself to use the steps and gets body blocked for two instead. We pause for more singing and the backsplash misses as a result, meaning the first AA connects for two. Harper and Rowan finally get involved as Rowan offers a distraction so Harper can hit a superkick. Cena rolls outside and drives Harper though the barricade. At least he was justified for once.

Back in and Sister Abigail’s Kiss (kissing didn’t really fit Bray) is countered into the STF but Bray is in the ropes. Sister Abigail’s Kiss gets two and Bray backs into the corner in shock for a good reaction. It’s chair time so Rowan comes in for the distraction but Bray throws the chair to Cena instead. He offers him another free shot to end him but Cena hits Rowan instead. I’m not exactly sure if that makes things better. Not that it matters as Cena reverses Sister Abigail into the AA for the pin at 22:27.

Rating: C. And that’s it for Bray Wyatt being a big deal. For the life of me, I have no idea why Cena needed to win this match and I’m never going to get that. Wyatt didn’t have the big win yet and he had clearly gotten into Cena’s head but then Cena just pins him clean. How does this help anyone? Cena doesn’t need an upper midcard win and Wyatt has his legs cut out from underneath him. Horrible, terrible decision here and the match wasn’t even great in the first place.

Recap of the Hall of Fame ceremony. Undertaker coming out during Paul Bearer’s induction was great.

And now for the class presentation:

Jake Roberts (not much of a reaction)

Mr. T. (that mother….)

Paul Bearer (his son does such a perfect impression)

Carlos Colon (next to no reaction)

Lita (ROAR)

Razor Ramon (another roar)

Ultimate Warrior (The camera guy pulled WAY back in case he ran to the ring. This is so hard to watch now, knowing what was coming just two days later.)

That’s a heck of a class actually.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. I think you get the idea here: no man can beat the Streak but a Beast might be able to pull it off. During the build, Undertaker stabbed Brock in the hand to show that he was more aggressive, which is rarely a good idea in wrestling. Heyman got in a great line here by saying Brock is the 1 in 21-1. The end of the video is equally awesome with Heyman saying “Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat, eat, sleep, conquer, repeat, eat sleep, conquer….the Streak.” Finally, the lyrics playing over this: “In times all things shall pass away.” They weren’t exactly hiding things.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Brock looks downright terrifying here, being as chiseled as I can remember seeing him and giving that stare that guarantees death that only he can pull off. Undertaker’s entrance features a line of caskets with each Streak victim’s name on top. They all light on fire because that’s the kind of thing Undertaker does.

Undertaker hammers away to start but the first suplex takes him down twenty seconds in. That seems to wake him up and a necksnap across the top rope staggers Brock. Back in and Undertaker wraps the arm around the ropes before sending it into the post. It’s weird to see Undertaker this aggressive to start. Old School is broken up with right hands as Cole goes over the history of the Streak. Lesnar misses a charge and posts himself so Undertaker kicks him in the bad arm. There’s the apron legdrop as Brock is in trouble for the first few minutes.

Back in and the chokeslam and F5 are both escaped with Undertaker sending the shoulder into the buckle. A running big boot misses though and Brock sends the leg into the post. Undertaker tries a kick but gets shoved down onto the floor, which may be where he suffers a severe concussion. You can see his eyes looking very messed up and he’s not moving nearly as well all of a sudden. Back in and Brock chokes in the corner and OH YEAH Undertaker is gone. That glossy look on his face is scary stuff and Lesnar stomps away at the leg.

Undertaker gets in an elbow to the jaw but Brock easily shoves him down again. You can see Brock trying to figure out what he can do right now because Undertaker has nothing to give him. Heyman offers a near creepy laugh as Brock forearms Undertaker down again and again. I know it’s not the most thrilling thing in the world but this is about all they can do safely in Undertaker’s condition.

A running DDT puts Lesnar down for a few seconds and Snake Eyes into the big boot (or high boot according to Cole) drop him again. The chokeslam gets two and an F5 gets the same with the latter shocking Brock. A quick Hell’s Gate has Brock in trouble but he muscles Undertaker up for the powerbomb break. Undertaker slaps it on a second time (Heyman: “POWER YOUR WAY OUT! YOU’RE BROCK LESNAR”) and it’s a second powerbomb for another escape.

The Kimura goes on but Undertaker actually reverses into one of his own. Brock VERY carefully takes him down (it’s clear Brock knows Undertaker’s head is hurt) and drives some slow motion shoulders to the ribs. Undertaker stops a charge with a raised boot but Old School is countered into a second F5 for two more, sending Heyman into a fit.

Some German suplexes rock Undertaker but Brock can’t follow up. At least we get an awesome speech from Heyman, saying Undertaker is taking Brock’s legacy away from him. Hey now that’s Cena’s deal (whatever it means). For some reason Brock hammers away in the corner and even stands on the ropes while Undertaker is almost seated in the corner. That means the Last Ride but Undertaker can’t follow up.

The worst Tombstone in recorded history gets two (you could see a good eight inches between Lesnar’s head and the mat) and Undertaker is stunned. He’s fine enough to sit up and try another Tombstone, only to be reversed into the third F5 to end the Streak at 25:11. Heyman makes the segment by going from the cocky grin at two to shock and awe at the pin. And no, this wasn’t changed on the fly and Brock didn’t shoot on Undertaker or whatever other nonsense conspiracy theories you’ll see out there. It was the planned finish and Undertaker got hurt during the match. Nothing more.

Rating: D. We’ll get to the important part here in a minute. This is a match where you have to excuse the performance because of Undertaker’s injury. It’s very clear that he was banged up early on in the match and you can see everything chance in a heartbeat. With the concussion, Lesnar wasn’t able to do much to him and Undertaker was only able to do so much on his own. It’s a bad match, but not because of the two people involved. Disappointing, but understandable given the circumstances.

Now for the 800lb gorilla in the room. There are two schools of thought to the Streak and you could go with either of them. There’s the thought that it never should have ended and could have gone on as the one thing that never happens in WWE. I can live with that. At the same time though, there’s the mentality of it has to end sometime and how can you buy that Undertaker, who hadn’t wrestled in a year, could come back and beat Lesnar in one on one match? I can see that line of thinking as well.

However, if you’re going to break the Streak, it should have been on someone with a lot to gain. Sure Lesnar went on to beat Cena for the title in a very memorable match, but there were others who needed the win WAY more (like Bray Wyatt for example). Lesnar does look like an even bigger deal, but Lesnar already was a big deal. What’s the point in giving him something like this if it doesn’t make that much of a difference?

As for the reaction though….I’ve never seen anything like it. It was like Santa Claus was shot in front of all the children in the world on Christmas Eve. The air was let out of the stadium and there was nothing that could be done. This wasn’t something that happened in wrestling and fans didn’t know how to take it. I saw fans crying and running out of their seats while others begged Hogan to come out here and do something about it. But no, the Streak was over, and there was nothing that could be done. That’s how it went down and really, I think I can live with it.

Should he have kept wrestling? Again, I could see it going either way. On the one hand, he had some good matches after this and I can understand why he wouldn’t want to go out this way. That being said, without the Streak, so much of what Undertaker was is gone. It’s a huge part to take away from him and I’m not sure how much of a point there is to continuing at Wrestlemania with the Streak being broken. It’s a hard question, but I could see why he didn’t want to go out, either this way or at all.

The fans are all stunned (complete with the infamous bug eyed guy in the front row) and it takes a few moments for the official announcement. You’ll hear this compared to Bruno losing the title and really, it’s hard to argue this being on the same level. The 21-1 sign comes on the screen as Lesnar and Heyman leave and the announcers act like they’ve seen a murder.

Undertaker looks up the ramp to see that they’re gone before sitting up as the standing ovation begins. He falls back down again though and closes his eyes on the mat for a bit. There’s another situp and the THANK YOU TAKER chants begin. He gets to his feet (Fan: “YOU SUCK!”) and looks around a bit before going back to one knee and shaking his head. The announcers give him a standing ovation as well until Undertaker slowly walks up the ramp. He leaves the stadium….and collapsed backstage as the concussion really was that bad.

Wrestlemania XXXI is in the Silicon Valley.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational

AJ Lee, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Tamina Snuka, Summer Rae, Cameron, Eva Marie, Emma, Layla, Naomi, Natalya, Rosa Mendes

AJ is defending and this is one fall to a finish with only the champ getting an entrance. Vickie, who hates AJ for reasons not important enough to explain, screeches good luck to everyone and we’re ready to go, with everyone in the ring at once. AJ and bodyguard Tamina are shoved into the middle so everyone can beat on her. It’s a big brawl (well duh) and I’m not going to bother trying to keep up with the play by play here.

The Bellas hit a horrible double gutbuster for two on Layla and Natalya stacks up Cameron, Rosa and Fox at the same time. The triple Sharpshooter doesn’t work (partially due to the laws of physics) and it’s a four way cover for a four way near fall. Cameron hits a Codebreaker and snaps her top, which is made worse when Emma puts on the Emma Lock. It’s time for the parade of secondary finishers as they’re trying to get any kind of a reaction here. Brie dropkicks Tamina to the floor and the Bellas hit stereo suicide dives onto the pile (marking the ONLY time I’ve ever thought the Bellas looked cool).

Back in and the twins shove each other, thankfully without wishing the other died in the womb. The Rack Attack gets two on Brie but Alicia comes back in with a good looking tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Nikki. Naomi breaks up the Superfly Splash and we hit the required Tower of Doom spot. AJ grabs the Black Widow on Naomi to retain at 6:50.

Rating: D-. Oh come on how was this going to be anything but a failure? The women’s division was nothing at this point save for AJ and Paige, who would debut the next night (which I called to perfection at least two weeks early). Other than that though, it was a bunch of models trying to be wrestlers and bad action throughout the division. This was a mess, but what were you expecting with fourteen people in there at once?

Mean Gene Okerlund talks to Hulk Hogan (yeah he’s still a thing on here) when Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff come in. Piper COMPLIMENTS Hogan on how good a job he’s doing tonight and says he’s finally over the loss at Wrestlemania I. It eats Orndorff up though, because every day someone tells him about it. How does that make him feel? Gene: “Horrible!” Violence is teased and here’s Mr. T. to even the odds. Pat Patterson, in a referee shirt for the sake of continuity, comes in to say it was thirty years ago. The four of them actually bury the hatchet, though Piper nearly retches as he shake’s Mr. T.’s hand.

Bruno Sammartino, Harley Race, Bob Backlund, Dusty Rhodes and Bret Hart (easily the biggest reaction) are in the front row.

No recap for the main event so we’ll improvise. Orton is the Authority’s hand picked face of the company and was handed the World Title by HHH. Batista won the Royal Rumble to get here. Bryan is in due to winning earlier (in case you decided to skip the opener for some odd reason).

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton is defending and is played to the ring by Rev Theory. Bryan still has a horrible arm coming in. Batista tries a Batista Bomb but Bryan hurricanranas him outside in short order. A crank to the arm brings Bryan down though and it’s Batista coming back in for some shoulders to Orton’s ribs. All three head outside with Orton going back first into the apron. It’s already time to go to the announcers’ table but first, Bryan gets knocked down again.

Orton suplexes Batista onto the barricade but it’s Bryan back up with YES Kicks to both of them. The big kick takes out Batista, only to have Orton suplex Bryan onto the bad shoulder for two. Somehow Bryan comes back with the running corner dropkicks to both guys, followed by a top rope hurricanrana to Orton. The fans are back to life, only to have Orton send Bryan outside.

A superplex drops Batista but Bryan is right there with the Swan Dive. Bryan grabs the YES Lock on Orton but here are HHH and Stephanie for the save. The referee gets taken out as well so here’s crooked referee Scott Armstrong to take over. The Batista Bomb gets two on Bryan but a spear only hits post. Bryan has finally had enough of this and kicks Armstrong in the head, followed by a suicide dive to take out Stephanie and HHH.

That’s enough for HHH who grabs the sledgehammer, only to have Bryan take it away and blast him instead. A livid Orton is back in though and sends Bryan into the barricade as Batista comes over to help with the stomping. The tape is pulled off of Bryan’s arm and Orton drills it with the steps.

They load up two announcers’ tables and, after hitting Bryan in the head with a monitor (and some CM PUNK chants, back when they might actually mean something), it’s a Batista Bomb into an RKO (jumping reverse neckbreaker in this case) with Orton’s back landing square on a monitor. I was terrified that he had a major injury but thankfully he gets up pretty quickly. Medics come down to check on Bryan as Lawler makes a good point: why isn’t Batista throwing one of them in the ring and PINNING THEM?

Instead Batista sends Orton into various non-ring things before taking him back inside….for a backdrop to the floor. The hanging DDT off the apron plants Batista as Bryan is being wheeled out. Not so fast though as he fights his way off the stretcher, only to be sent into the steps by Orton. The RKO is countered into a YES Lock but Batista is there fore another save. That just earns Batista a YES Lock of his own with Orton making the save this time. A spear cuts Bryan down and the RKO gets two on Batista in a great false finish.

Orton loads up the Punt but Bryan cuts him off with the running knee. Batista throws Bryan outside and gets two on Orton. There’s the Batista Bomb to Orton but Bryan comes back in with the running knee to Batista. The YES Lock goes on and Batista taps (that’s important because Bryan had showed he could beat Orton before) to FINALLY make Bryan champion at 23:21. Cole: “A MIRACLE ON BOURBON STREET!” I mean, the Superdome isn’t on Bourbon Street but that’s an awesome call.

Rating: B. The wrestling wasn’t the point here (duh) but what was important was nailing the ending, which is exactly what they did here. This match made Bryan look like the giant killer and that’s exactly the point of what was going on here. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions as Bryan fought through everything and won the title that was rightfully his to begin with. It may not be a classic, but the ending was all you could ask for and more.

Bryan celebrates for a LONG time, including the iconic shot with both belts on the announcers’ table, as confetti (of which I have a piece) falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There are some weak spots in there (Undertaker vs. Lesnar stands out like Undertaker’s sore head) but the stuff they nailed, they REALLY nailed. Above all else this is the Daniel Bryan show and with a classic to start and the perfect ending, it’s hard to complain about much. This show felt like it was a spectacle and that’s where WWE shines. Yeah there were some weaker matches, but there was also a twenty five minute segment with Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and the Rock acting like the biggest stars of all time. I had the time of my life watching this show live and it more than holds up. Outstanding stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Usos vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Real Americans

Original: B

2015 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Daniel Bryan vs. HHH

Original: A

2015 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

Shield vs. New Age Outlaws/Kane

Original: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: N/A

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Original: B

2015 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: D

Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational

Original: D+

2015 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Batista

Original: A-

2015 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2015 Redo: A-

2018 Redo: A-

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/07/wrestlemania-xxx-oh-yeah-i-went-there/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/28/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxx-2015-redo-yes/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXX
Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

I haven’t watched this match since I saw it the day after seeing it live in the Superdome last year. This show received rave reviews at the time (including from me) and it’s going to be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Granted, given how this year’s Wrestlemania has been built up, anything is going to seem like a classic. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Under elimination rules and the Usos are defending as part of the TWO HOUR preshow. I remember when these things were thirty minutes but that’s the age we live in I guess. These entrances show you how many different paths people can take. Cesaro is in the same place but with a title, Los Matadores are in the exact same spot, the Usos are in the same match minus the belts, Ryback is rebuilding and Curtis Axel got to confront Hulk Hogan on the go home Raw for Wrestlemania. That last part still makes my head shake.

Axel and Jey get things going with the champ grabbing a headlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE as JBL says Colter is the greatest war hero in Louisiana since Andrew “Stonewall” Jackson in 1814. History geeks around the world are shaking their heads (Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson was a Civil War general who wasn’t born until 1824. JBL meant President Andrew “Not A Stonewall” Jackson) as Jey and Axel chop it out. The Real Americans bail to the floor to avoid a tag attempt and Axel drops Jey with a dropkick.

Off to Ryback for some hard shots but Diego tags himself in to go after Jey. The Usos make a tag and it’s Jimmy vs. Diego but they stop for an OLE! Fernando tags himself in for a dropkick to go with his cousin’s legsweep for two on Jimmy. Cesaro tags Jimmy for the biggest pop of the night so far (that might change) and hammers away before bringing in Swagger for a running clothesline. A springboard back elbow scores for Fernando and, amazingly enough, no one cares.

Both Real Americans are sent to the floor with Ryback and the Usos being thrown on top of them so Los Matadores can dive on everyone. Torito gets on the top but Axel grabs him from behind and throws him inside. Axel goes up but Los Matadores catch him in a double electric chair, allowing Torito to cross body him down onto the big pile for a crash. Back in and Swagger throws Diego off the top and puts on the Patriot Lock for the submission elimination.

Jimmy comes in and jack Jack’s jaw but he gets caught in the Patriot Lock as well, only to have Jimmy roll out in a hurry. Axel tags himself in and stomps on the champ before it’s off to Ryback for a delayed vertical. Axel and Ryback take turns on Jimmy in the corner until Ryback slaps on a chinlock. That goes nowhere until Jimmy fights up and makes the tag to Jey as house is cleaned. The running Umaga Attack staggers Axel but Jack breaks up a charge with a belly to belly.

Ryback plants Swagger with a spinebuster but Cesaro breaks up the Shell Shock. The Meat Hook is blocked by Swiss Death and the Neutralizer eliminates Ryback to send the fans into a frenzy. We’re down to the Usos vs. the Real Americans, which is pretty much what everyone was expecting in the first place. The Usos send them to the floor for a big double dive, leaving all four on the outside.

Back in and Cesaro gets two off a backbreaker to Jey but the Swing doesn’t work. Instead it’s off to Jimmy but Swagger comes in off a hot tag, only to have Jey hit a Whisper in the Wind for two. Swagger, with a bloody arm, blocks the running Umaga Attack with the Patriot Lock but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick, only to walk into Swiss Death. Cesaro and Jimmy get tags but the Americans are whipped into each other, setting up a double superkick to Cesaro, followed by the double Superfly Splash to retain the titles.

Rating: B. This was the perfect way to open a show as the fans are now way into things. It’s a pretty meaningless match, proven if nothing else by how similar this year’s pre-show match will be. At the end of the day, that’s the benefit of a multi-team tag match: let the fans get fired up and have a great time while not wasting anything of note. It’s another reason I’m amazed by how little tag wrestling is used. You can use it for something like this but for some reason it’s almost never done.

Post match Swagger and Cesaro go at it with Jack putting on the Patriot Lock as Colter loses his mind. They break it up but Cesaro Swings him to blow the roof off the place again.

The opening video is set in the streets of New Orleans with a jazz band playing. There’s a great opening line of “A good time occurs when we forget what time it is, and man have we lost track of time.” Wrestlers fill up the streets for something like a Mardi Gras parade with shots of famous Wrestlemania entrances, such as Shawn at XII and Heenan/Andre at III, superimposed over the streets. It’s a REALLY cool video and fits the theme of how big a night this really is.

There’s something so amazing looking about the sea of people in the Superdome to watch the show.

We open big with the special host Hulk Hogan, which is really the only way to open a major anniversary Wrestlemania. First line: “Well let me tell you something brother!” Oh yeah he’s got us in the palm of his hand and he knows it. He was there at Wrestlemania I in Madison Square Garden but now it’s thirty years later at Wrestlemania XXX, right here in the Silverdome. I thought he flubbed that line on purpose and I still think it now. Think about it: how many times has that been referenced since, meaning people keep thinking of Hogan? There’s nothing wrong with it if it’s true but I’m almost certain he did it intentionally.

Hogan talks about how there are Wrestlemania moments and surprises, and you never know when one of those moments is going to happen…….CUE GLASS SHATTER! I’ve been to a lot of wrestling shows in my day and I’ve never freaked out more than hearing that sound. That was the moment when you knew you were in for something very, very special that night.

Austin hits all four corners and you can tell he’s fired up to be here. He says it’s good to be back here at the Silverdome and asks if the fans want to see him open a can on Hogan. They were sitting next to each other at the Hall of Fame and Austin has seen every thing Hogan has done over the years, from Wrestlemania I (WHAT!) through Wrestlemania X (which Hogan wasn’t at). Austin appreciates all of Hogan’s accomplishments in this business and shakes his hand. He talks about how tonight is about the current stars…..and here’s the Rock.

After taking his sweet time getting to the ring, Rock and Austin hug for old times’ sake. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” Rock says all five of his senses are on fire and FINALLY he has come back……to the SUPERdome! He looks across the ring and sees the two biggest names in the history of the WWE and he’s had the privilege of facing both of them at Wrestlemania.

They’ve had a huge impact on his career and on everyone’s in the back as well. Tonight Cena is coming out here to fight for hustle, loyalty and respect, but he doesn’t do that if no one told him to say his prayers and take his vitamins 29 years ago. Tonight someone is fighting against the Authority (pause for a YES chant) but that doesn’t happen unless a bald headed SOB didn’t have the guts to fight against the boss.

Rock wants to know why so many babies are born just nine months after Wrestlemania? They’re Rock Babies! Rock gives us a great rhyme about the history of Wrestlemania with the final line saying that everyone else would have lost to the three of them (look it up because just reading it doesn’t do it justice). Everyone hits their catchphrases, beer is consumed and all three songs are played. JBL: “My life is complete.”

Overall Rating: A+. Well that was…..oh dang we’ve got three and a half hours to go. I had my money’s worth right here already.

We get the AWESOME recap video for HHH vs. Daniel Bryan. If there’s one thing this show got right (and there are about a hundred of them), it’s the big recap videos. This is set to Monster by Imagine Dragons and shows Bryan going from an NXT rookie up to the US Champion and then into the main event.

At Summerslam 2013, Bryan pinned John Cena completely clean but guest referee HHH knocked him out so Orton could cash in Money in the Bank. HHH didn’t want Bryan as the face of WWE because he didn’t fit the mold, but Bryan spent the next several months trying to prove himself and get the title back. Eventually Bryan wanted a match with HHH but couldn’t get the boss to agree. With nothing else left, Bryan took Raw hostage and forced HHH to agree to let them have a match here at Wrestlemania. The winner is put into the World Title match main event.

Stephanie, showing so much leg that Stacy Keibler would tell her to tone it down, introduces HHH. Naturally HHH has a golden throne with three good looking women (played by NXT girls Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss) to take off his mask and armor. To be fair, this is pretty cool.

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Winner goes to the main event title match. For some reason, Bryan’s entrance is never actually announced, likely due to not being able to hear the announcer over the INSANE YES chants. Cole says this is a mismatch on paper, even though Bryan is a multiple time World Champion coming in. HHH would be the heavy favorite but it’s not that big. Bryan is coming in with a bad shoulder after HHH attacked it a few weeks back on Raw. Stephanie kisses HHH for an awesome heel moment.

We start with a long staredown as the fans are about 300% behind Bryan. HHH’s offer of a handshake is kicked away and Bryan gets a quick rollup for two. That would be one heck of a way to open the show. The threat of a big kick sends HHH outside but he comes back in to go after the arm. Bryan flips out and hits a dropkick to the ribs before taking him down with a headlock. Stephanie: “COME ON BABY!” They hit the mat for a nice technical sequence until HHH takes him into the corner and wraps the bad arm around the ropes.

Bryan escapes an attempt at sending his arm into the post before hitting a running tornado DDT off the apron to the floor. As HHH gets up, Bryan dives off the top for a big flip dive and Stephanie is losing it. She shouts that Bryan is a B+ at best as HHH crotches him on the top, followed by a running forearm to put Bryan on the floor. It’s time for the announcer’s table but Bryan fights out of the Pedigree attempt, only to have HHH grab the arm and drive it into the table.

Back in again and HHH puts on an armbar as JBL shouts about how brilliant this is. He really needs to figure out proper tone. Bryan is able to low bridge HHH to the floor but a right hand stops the Flying Goat. Something like a belly to back suplex on the apron drops Bryan’s arm on the apron again and he has to beat the count back in. HHH channels his inner Backlund for a crossface chicken wing before putting on a regular Crossface to make Benoit scream even more.

Bryan finally makes the rope and nails a running forearm to knock some of the smile off of Stephanie’s face. The moonsault out of the corner doesn’t work but Bryan uses a standing switch for some rolling Germans for rolling near falls. HHH reverses back into another chicken wing attempt before settling for a tiger suplex. They head up top for a superplex but Bryan reverses into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. Bryan starts shaking his head as he gets up for the running dropkicks in the corner, only to have HHH nail a running clothesline to stop the third. Stephanie LOSES IT on the floor in celebration.

The Pedigree is countered into a jackknife for two before the big kick knocks HHH silly. Back to the Crossface but HHH can only grab across Bryan’s forehead. Bryan rolls away but gets caught in the middle of the ring ala the ending of Wrestlemania XX. Another roll lets Bryan counter into the YES Lock but again the grip isn’t perfect. HHH finally makes the ropes and you can see Stephanie breathe a sigh of relief. She’s gone from all confident to having to sweat over this match.

HHH bails to the floor but Bryan gets up for two straight Flying Goats, followed by a series of kicks to the chest as they hit another gear. The missile dropkick puts HHH down but Daniel lands on his shoulder. He nips up though and the fans are right back into it. JBL is starting to panic as well as Bryan busts out the YES Kicks. The big one knocks HHH down but he kicks out at two. This is reaching epic.

Bryan sets up the running knee but it’s countered into a spinebuster, followed by the Pedigree for two, sending Stephanie into shock. HHH puts him in the corner for more right hands but is smart enough to break at four. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop for two but HHH doesn’t let go of the grip. Bryan won’t get up so HHH drives knees (yes, knees from HHH) to the side of the head. This time Bryan rolls out and kicks the boss in the head, only to miss a second attempt. HHH tries a belly to back but Bryan flips out and hits the running knee for the huge upset pin, sending him to the main event.

Rating: A. This was a great match with the big key of Bryan winning clean. HHH wrestled a smart match and did everything he should have, including the arm work and hitting the Pedigree but Bryan flat out beat him. This match was a Match of the Year contender all year and it’s easy to see why. Really good stuff here and HHH continues to prove why he’s still worth putting in the ring a few times a year.

Post match Stephanie gets in for a real challenge. She slaps Bryan in the face, allowing Stephanie to get a chair and crush Bryan’s shoulder against the post. Oh man they really did stack the deck against him. Stephanie: “That’s what happens when you play with the Game.” Dang she’s good at being evil.

New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield

There isn’t much to this one. Kane blamed Jerry Lawler for letting Bryan’s fans in for the Occupy Raw incident but Shield wouldn’t attack him. The Outlaws were added because who else was going to be put in the spot? Road Dogg’s speech is cut off by Shield’s intro, complete with half masks which didn’t last long. This was right before Shield turned face, even though they’re insanely popular and have practically been good guys for a few weeks now. One last note before we get to the massacre: if you’ve never heard it, Kane’s pyro is one of the loudest things you’ll ever hear live.

Kane punches Ambrose into the corner to start but the US Champion (remember that?) fights back and nails a clothesline. Off to Reigns to run over Gunn before taking down Dogg and Kane for good measure. Reigns even tells the Outlaws to suck it. The Apron Kick (he hasn’t done that in a while) hits both Outlaws but Kane blocks the Superman Punch. That earns him a springboard knee from Rollins and Dean breaks up the Fameasser.

The Superman Punch (which the camera misses) lays out Gunn and Billy is surrounded. He gets outside with Dogg, only to take a double dive from Ambrose and Rollins. All three villains get speared (the Outlaws get theirs at the same time) and a double Triple Bomb to the Outlaws is enough for the pin. Total and complete dominance here as you can feel the Shield’s mega face push coming imminently.

Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter are playing with toys in the back with EVIL Danny Davis counting the pin. Why Duggan isn’t wearing a shirt isn’t clear. Duggan wants another opponent so here’s Ricky Steamboat. They can’t play though because someone has bought the toys. Guess who that would be. On a personal note, other than Davis, I’ve met every person in this segment in the last year. Ron Simmons comes in for the required cameo.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Big Show, Cesaro, Xavier Woods, Sin Cara, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Yoshi Tatsu, Brad Maddox, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Darren Young, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal, Heath Slater, Tyson Kidd, R-Truth, Fandango, Big E., David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Damien Sandow, Santino Marella, Miz, Titus O’Neil, Mark Henry

In a line I can’t take credit for, this should be the Andre Rousimoff Memorial Battle Royal: the ARMBAR. There are thirty one people in this and eight of them are out of the company less than a year later. I’ll give them credit for this: they snuck everyone but Big Show and Sheamus into the ring during the legends’ segment and I didn’t notice a thing.

Kidd goes to the apron to start and flips onto a pile of people. You can’t tell what’s going on to start like in most battle royals. Tatsu is out first and Cody and Kofi get in a kick off as they’re hanging from the ropes. Maddox, GM of Raw at the time, is out next and Khali knocks Brodus out with a chop. A few guys dump Khali a few seconds later and you can actually see the mat now. There goes Ryder at 3MB’s hands and Young gets the same treatment.

Mark Henry actually sells a punch from Slater before knocking out McIntyre and Mahal. Henry makes it a matched 3MB set by throwing Heath out but Big Show gets rid of him a few seconds later. The ring is down to a manageable number now and it’s nowhere near as crowded. Show throws Titus out next but it’s Cobra time. Miz tries to block it but with an assist from Xavier Woods of all people, Miz is knocked to the floor. Del Rio kicks Santino out and Sandow dumps Woods. Racist.

Cody’s Disaster Kick nails Sandow and Goldust low bridges him to the floor. Intercontinental Champion Big E. powerbombs Gabriel out and throws Otunga to the floor for good measure. Fandango and Big E. get in a fight on the apron and Fandango actually kicks him out. Your champion ladies and gentlemen. The fans start Fandangoing but stop as Sheamus hits the thirty forearms to the chest and shoves the dancer out.

Show throws Truth out and we’re down to Big Show, Mysterio, Sin Cara, Del Rio, Kidd, Goldust, Cesaro, Sheamus, Ziggler, Kingston and Rhodes. Sin Cara goes out off camera to get us down to ten and Del Rio enziguris Kidd off the top to make it nine. Another enziguri drops Goldust and a shove gets rid of the other Rhodes brother. Del Rio takes a 619 and Cesaro gets the same treatment, only to uppercut Rey to the floor. Ziggler gets an uppercut of his own in the middle of the ring and everyone is down.

It’s Kofi up first and charging at Cesaro, who launches him over the post and down to the floor. You know it’s not that simple though as Kofi’s feet land on the steps and he gets back in for a HUGE top rope cross body. I paused the video to type a bit with Kofi in the air and I couldn’t believe how high he got on that thing. Kofi kicks everyone, including Big Show, down but he gets caught in the Swing that everyone had wanted to see. There’s something hilarious about those braids flying around.

The Swing goes on for a ridiculous thirty seconds but Cesaro walks into a chokeslam. A Brogue Kick drops Big Show and another puts Kingston out. Ziggler DDTs Sheamus but gets superkicked to the floor but Del Rio, drawing some awesome heat. The final four are Del Rio, Big Show, Sheamus and Cesaro. There’s the cross armbreaker to Sheamus, which JBL points out as a waste of time.

Sheamus powers up but both guys fall to the floor to get us down to two. You know who the fans are behind I’m assuming. Cesaro starts firing off uppercuts and clotheslines but dives into a big chop. Show loads him up but Cesaro slips down the back (ala Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) and casually picks him up (not like Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) for a slam to the floor and the win.

Rating: C+. This was a lot more fun than I was expecting and one of the more entertaining battle royals I’ve seen in a long time. Cesaro winning should have meant a big push but it wound up going nowhere due to the incompetence of this company. Good stuff here but they would have been better off with twenty like they’re doing for the second version. That slam was freaking cool too.

Cesaro celebrates with his chest high trophy.

The next awesome recap video shows us Cena vs. Wyatt, which is based around the idea of making Cena destroy his legacy….whatever that means. Wyatt thinks Cena is lying when he talks about hustle, loyalty and respect and seemingly just wants to destroy Cena for fun. He’s a weird guy like that.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt’s song is played live with a bunch of burning barrels, a woman dancing like she’s possessed and what looks like a bunch of junk set up as an altar. This was CHILLING live and an absolutely amazing visual. Bray has Harper and Rowan with him here. This was before Rowan got pushed by having Big Show knock him out 19 times in a row. The fireflies are starting to become a thing at this point but it’s not there yet. Cena doesn’t have any kind of a special entrance, but how could he follow Bray’s anyway? For some reason Roberts doesn’t even announce him until he’s in the ring.

Bray drops to his knees and offers Cena a free shot to finish him early but Cena tells him to get up and fight. They finally get going with Cena headlocking him to the mat as JBL has no idea what he just saw. Back up and Bray hammers him into the corner, shouting that Cena doesn’t want to fight him. A headbutt drops Cena as Bray asks if this is the one the people call hero.

Bray sends him across the ring but Cena just explodes with a running clothesline. A fired up Cena takes him into the corner, only to have Wyatt laugh as Cena stomps away. John gets creative (or is it basic?) with a running big boot. The Family stares at Cena and Bray shouts that John is a monster before hitting the release suplex slam (cool move). We hit the sleeper but it’s quickly just a regular chinlock.

Cena fights back and starts his finishing sequence but the Shuffle is blocked by Bray’s spider walk. Cena’s reaction is perfect as he falls down and gets distracted by Rowan, allowing Bray to hit a chokeslam (meant to be a Rock Bottom but it’s the same move for all intents and purposes) for two. It’s time for Bray to conduct the crowd but the delay lets Cena get two off a jumping tornado DDT.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser is caught in the Batista neck breaking powerbomb and control switches again. Another finishing sequence has Bray in trouble but he counters the AA into a gutbuster for two. A DDT onto the apron drops Cena and his face just looks stunned. Back in and Bray’s superplex attempt is countered but Cena, ever the rocket scientist, dives on the Family for no apparent reason. They weren’t doing much and they’ll just be ticked off now, but Cena is Cena and unquestionable right?

The wild eyed Bray sends Cena into the steps and says he’s figured out what to do. Cena kicks the steps out of his hands and picks them up instead, only to throw them down instead of giving in to the demons. Back in and Bray runs him over, says he has the whole world in his hand, but misses the backsplash. AA gets two and why are people always shocked by that? If you don’t see two of those it’s not a major match.

Rowan offers a distraction so Harper can get in a cheap shot to give his boss two. It’s about time they did something in this match. Cena goes out after Harper and spears him through the barricade, which seems to be exactly what Bray wanted. Sister Abigail is countered into the STF but the rope is quickly grabbed. Now Sister Abigail connects for two and Bray is……happy? Scared? Shocked? You never really can tell with him.

Bray goes out and rips the top off the Spanish table. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary and tells him to go after the French table in a funny moment. Instead Bray gets a chair and kicks it over to Cena before kneeling in the middle of the ring. He tells Cena to finish this but Cena blasts Rowan instead, setting up Sister Abigail. The kiss is too much though and the second AA is enough to pin Bray.

Rating: C+. It’s a good enough match, but what the heck was the point in having Bray lose here? The entire thing was built up as Bray being a monster and he loses the big match? Now of course this didn’t end Bray’s run, but it was questionable then and it doesn’t get any better a year later. Cena really didn’t need the win and the whole legacy thing still doesn’t make a lot of sense. I don’t get how Bray pinning him ended his legacy, so it seemed to be another way of saying “Hey Cena, turn heel already!” It’s not explained why hitting Rowan is different than hitting Bray but this story never made the most sense in the first place.

Hall of Fame video from last night. This package aired about a million times on Sunday and Monday, to the point where I memorized half the lines. Undertaker coming out with the urn during Bearer’s induction was perfect. Mr. T.’s speech on the other hand was so beyond perfect that I don’t have the words to describe it. Seeing Scott Hall and Jake Roberts up there is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen and proof that Diamond Dalla Page is a saint.

Here’s the class of 2015 live: Jake Roberts, Mr. T., Paul Bearer, Carlos Colon, Lita (you all still would and you know it), Razor Ramon and the Ultimate Warrior, who gets a full musical entrance. The interesting thing here is that the camera guys ran backwards in case he ran to the ring but instead he just walked out after everyone else had been standing there. Knowing what happened to him less than two days later still makes my head spin. This is one of the better classes ever as it’s hard to argue against any of them going in, which isn’t always the case.

Medics check on Bryan’s arm.

We recap the Streak match. The video about the Streak being the lone constant over the last twenty three years is really odd when you think about it as nothing else has anywhere near that lifespan. Can any man break the streak? Heyman: “Obviously the answer to this question is no. But what about a beast?” That’s pretty much all you need to know. Heyman caps it off with “Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer the Streak.”

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

Undertaker’s theme this year is a coffin with the name of each victim, all of which are lit on fire. The latest victim is covered by smoke as luck would have it. Even Brock looks a bit shaken up by all this, but that might be due to his coffin opening up. Long staredown to start until Undertaker fires off right hands. That earns him a belly to belly overhead suplex and a clothesline to send him outside because Brock is awesome like that.

Undertaker comes back with a Stunner over the top and it’s time for more punching, followed by bending Brock’s arm around the rope. The arm goes into the post as well but Brock punches Old School down. That’s it for Undertaker’s control though as he fights back and takes it to the floor, setting up the apron legdrop. It’s been about 90% Undertaker so far. The chokeslam and F5 are both escaped but Brock avoids the running boot in the corner.

It’s time to go after the old man’s leg and the last thing you want to give Brock is a target. Or raw meat. Or a belt that a Samoan wants to take from him because it turns into a stupid looking tug of war. Brock slowly hammers him down and pounds away with right hands and knees in the corner. Now they head outside for another shot to Undertaker’s knee before he’s whipped hard into the barricade. Back in and Brock keeps hammering away as the fans are waiting on the big comeback before they hit the main event style.

Now Brock just starts punching him a lot until Undertaker catches him with the running DDT (a popular counter tonight). The running clothesline in the corner (what leg injury?) sets up Snake Eyes and the running boot, followed by a legdrop for two. The chokeslam (Heyman: “HE’S POISED!”) gets two and Undertaker looks deflated. Brock counters the tombstone into the F5 (way bigger reaction than the chokeslam) for two.

Lesnar slows things down and gets pulled into a surprise Hell’s Gate. That’s fine with Brock who lifts him up into a powerbomb to break the hold. Power like that is just scary and Brock is terrifying enough on his own. Undertaker throws it on again but Brock counters it exactly the same way. Why change what works? It’s Brock’s turn for a submission as he puts on the Kimura to make Undertaker scream. We get MMA Taker as he reverses into one of his own but Brock makes it to the ropes.

Brock fires off some shoulders in the corner but Undertaker gets a boot up. We go Old School but Undertaker falls into the F5 for two. Now it’s Brock’s turn to be shocked for a change. Two German suplexes rattle Undertaker again and Heyman shouts that Brock is going to make it 21-1. Brock hammers away in the corner but climbs to the middle rope, setting up something called a Last Ride but more like a weak spinebuster.

Undertaker is just spent at this point so he loads up the tombstone. Brock doesn’t quite get planted though as you can see St. Louis in the gap between his head and the mat, meaning the kickout doesn’t have much of an impact. There’s the sit up and another tombstone, but Brock reverses and muscles Undertaker into the third F5 for the pin to conquer the Streak.

Rating: D+. This is hard to watch for multiple reasons. First and foremost, the Streak ended. I’m not the biggest Undertaker fan, but knowing what was coming actually made this hard to sit through. I mean……the Streak just ended. It’s like telling a kid there’s no Santa Claus: you know it has to happen someday but you don’t want to ever actually do it.

The other reason this was hard to watch is the match pretty much sucked. Undertaker apparently had a concussion early in the match and barely remembers a lot of what happened here. That can cause some severe problems, but I can’t imagine that the match would have been much better had Undertaker been healthy throughout. At the end of the day, the guy is 49 years old and barely wrestles once a year. You can’t expect him to be able to do it every single year.

That brings me to my last point: how can you really expect him to win here? Brock is a monster and wrestles a lot more often than Undertaker, in addition to being thirteen years younger. How can you reasonably believe that Undertaker can win? That’s part of the thing that kills the fans here: the idea of the Undertaker is that one night a year, he’s immortal. This match proved that he was human and that’s a hard thing to admit after all those years of seeing him as a superhero. Lesnar has been a monster since, and this really is the start of something special. Granted no one knew that at the time.

Anyway, Heyman’s reaction is in perfect as even he’s stunned at what he just saw because all his hyperbole is proven correct. They leave as the audience is stunned. Undertaker finally sits up, albeit very slowly, and gets the big hero’s sendoff. He hasn’t been seen since and I’m not sure I want to see him in the ring again at this point. The reaction is even more saddening as the fans are just done at this point. I’ve heard the only thing to compare this to is Koloff beating Sammartino and it’s hard to disagree with that.

On top of that, Undertaker collapsed as soon as he went through the curtain and was sent to the hospital. Vince himself went with him and missed the end of the show. That’s scary stuff but how lucky were they that he didn’t collapse on the stage in front of all the thousands of people?

Wrestlemania XXXI ad.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

AJ Lee, Naomi, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Cameron, Emma, Eva Marie, Layla, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, Tamina Snuka

All fourteen are in at once, one fall to a finish and AJ (only one with an entrance as the others came out during the XXXI video) is defending. Vickie gets in an evil laugh before we get going. AJ and her bodyguard Tamina are sent into the middle of the circle and the brawl is on. Something tells me I won’t be able to keep track of all this.

The Bellas “hit” a horrible gutbuster on Layla before Natalya tries a triple Sharpshooter on Alicia, Summer and Rosa at the same time. A quadruple suplex gets a quadruple near fall as Cameron’s top has broken. That earns her an Emma Lock as this is a total mess. We hit the parade of finishers until only the Bellas are left.

Instead of fighting, they hit an admittedly sweet looking double dive to take everyone out. It’s amazing how much easier they are to sit through when they don’t talk. They slug it out inside and the Rack Attack gets two on Brie. Back in for a parade of secondary finishers until Naomi breaks up the Superfly Splash by shoving Tamina to the floor. Natalya powerbombs Aksana to send Naomi down in a Tower of Doom, leaving AJ to hook the Black Widow on Naomi to retain.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting? There’s almost no way to make a huge mess like this work, especially when so many of the girls have no business inside a wrestling ring. AJ would go on to lose the title the next night to a debuting Paige, which I somehow called about two weeks out. That’s probably a lot better than having her debut here and win as part of this disaster, but it’s rather telling that the same girls are still on top of the division a year later.

Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan (that needed to happen tonight) when Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff come in. Piper reluctantly tells Hogan he’s doing a good job tonight but Paul says he’s tired of hearing about getting pinned at the first Wrestlemania. The losers want to fight now and here’s Mr. T. for the big staredown. Pat Patterson just happens to be here in a referee shirt but they all agree to bury the hatchet and have the most awkward handshakes in years.

Bruno Sammartino, Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Bob Backlund and Bret Hart (by far the loudest reaction) are at ringside.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Rev Theory (remember them?) play Orton to the ring. Orton is defending of course and Batista won the Royal Rumble to get here. Bryan can barely move that left shoulder and has to do a one armed YES point. After the big match intros, Bryan hits a quick running dropkick to the champion followed by the YES Kicks. Orton calmly goes to the arm and stomps away but Batista takes Randy down.

The Orton backbreaker drops Batista and Bryan gets knocked down to the floor. Batista and Orton head over to the announcers’ tables before Batista whips him into the barricade. Orton backdrops out of a Batista Bomb to send Batista into the steps before going after Bryan again. The champ starts going back and forth to send both challengers into the barricade before taking Batista back inside for two.

The knee drop gets two more as the fans chant for Bryan. That’s exactly what they get as well with a double missile dropkick putting down the shaved headed guys. Daniel kicks away at both of them but Orton grabs in him a high collar suplex for two. Big Dave kicks Orton down and stomps on Bryan in the corner to get the fans booing all over again. That’s fine with Daniel as he hits running dropkicks to both guys in the corner. That woke them up again and so did the top rope hurricanrana for two on Orton.

Batista comes back with a suplex to send Bryan outside but he goes up top for no logical reason other than to allow Orton to superplex him back down. Daniel adds a Swan Dive and puts Orton in the YES Lock but here are HHH and Stephanie to pull out the referee. Crooked referee Scott Armstrong comes in to count two off the Batista Bomb on Bryan. Bryan sends a charging Batista into the post and kicks Armstrong in the head before hitting a FLYING GOAT onto the Authority, including Stephanie. Just fire him right now. Plant a tie on him or something.

HHH is livid and pulls out the sledgehammer but Bryan takes it away and knocks HHH to the floor. Orton comes back in and cleans house, joining forces with Batista to beat Bryan up even more. They take the tape off his shoulder as the Authority is taken out, much to JBL’s chagrin. The announcers’ table is loaded up with Orton setting the steps next to it, drawing a CM Punk chant for the save. Instead they get a Batista Bomb into a jumping neckbreaker (called an RKO). The scary part here is that Orton landed back first on a monitor and took a long time to get up.

Batista is the only man left standing and it’s Lawler with the voice of common sense: “Throw one of them in the ring and cover them!” The old guys still get it. Medics come out to help Bryan as JBL joins Lawler’s school of thinking: “COVER BRYAN ALREADY!” Orton and Batista brawl in a heatless segment as people don’t accept that Bryan is done yet. The Elevated DDT off the apron gets a good gasp from the crowd, but Bryan getting off the stretcher gets a better reaction.

Orton immediately sends Bryan into the steps before throwing him back inside. Again he won’t cover though, allowing Batista to come back in and take the champ down. There’s the YES Lock to Batista but Orton is right back up for the save. Daniel is knocked to the floor by Batista’s spear and the RKO gets a VERY close two on Dave to get the fans back into it.

Another RKO is loaded up but Bryan comes back in with the running knee. Batista throws Bryan down but Orton kicks out at two. Another Batista Bomb puts Orton down but Bryan comes back in with the running knee and the YES Lock FINALLY makes Bryan champion, sending New Orleans into a frenzy. Cole dubs it the Miracle on Bourbon Street in a call I really like.

Rating: B. This needed to be five minutes shorter but my goodness they cranked up the emotions here. There was no other possible ending to this though and the fans ate up every single bit of it. The near falls on the finishers were great and I was totally buying into them as potential endings. Not a great match but exactly the way the show should have ended.

Confetti falls (and I got a piece which I still have) and a huge celebration finally ends the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Time has brought this show back down to earth a bit but it’s still incredibly fun. This was everything the fans could have wanted from Bryan (though not quite everything from Undertaker vs. Lesnar) and an incredibly emotional show. The wrestling here ranges from very good to mixed but the emotion is off the charts. That’s what matters at the end of the day and it was the perfect story being told. The show holds up almost completely and it’s still great and worth checking out. Bryan may never get back to the top again, but they can never take this night away from him and that’s not the worst prize.

Ratings Comparison

Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Original: B

Redo: B

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A

Redo: A

Shield vs. Kane/New Age Outlaws

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

Original: B

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

Original: D+

Redo: D

Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton

Original: A-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A-

The main event was too high but the show is still an instant classic.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/07/wrestlemania-xxx-oh-yeah-i-went-there/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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