Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XIV (2015 Redo): An Actual New Era

Wrestlemania XIV
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

You might notice that things have picked up a lot since last year. This can mainly be attributed to the influence of Vince Russo, who isn’t remembered all that fondly. While his later efforts didn’t exactly work out very well (that’s putting it mildly), his early work with this kind of talent around him was a major part of the turnaround in the Monday Night Wars, which will finally see Raw win a battle just two weeks after this show. Let’s get to it.

Chris Warren and the DX Band perform a hard rock version of America the Beautiful and the Star Spangled Banner. This is booed out of the building and was very poorly received both live and later, as it has been edited out of most versions of the show. That’s probably best all around.

The opening video focuses on the lack of tradition in Wrestlemania these days, but the tradition is all about the gold and that’s why everyone is here tonight.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission (Recon/Sniper), Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Brown/Henry), Nation of Domination (Faarooq/Mustafa), Legion of Doom 2000, Quebecers, Rock N Roll Express, Headbangers, Too Much, Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwinns, New Midnight Express

Los Boricuas are Savio Vega’s Puerto Rican street gang split into two teams here, the Truth Commission is a military group from South Africa, Chainz is a biker, the Nation now has Faarooq/Kama Mustafa/Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown, the LOD 2000 are the same guys and a surprise team, the Rock N Roll Express are a famous team from the south, Too Much is better known as Too Cool, the Disciples of Apocalypse are the Harris Twins (formerly known as the Blu Brothers) as bikers, Blackman is a karate expert and the New Midnight Express are Bombastic Bob Holly and Bodacious Bart Gunn in one of the worst ideas of this era.

Only a few teams get an entrance with the LOD coming out last (with Animal in shorts for the first time ever) as a surprise team with Sunny as their new manager. The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at next month’s In Your House XXI and if one member is eliminated his partner is eliminated as well. It’s a huge brawl to start and the fans are entirely behind the LOD. Vega and Perez are eliminated early with Perez having to be helped to the back.

Former Truth Commission member Kurrgan comes out to eliminate the Truth Commission and here’s Bradshaw’s former partner Barry Windham to eliminate Chainz and therefore Bradshaw. Brown/Henry and the Quebecers are eliminated. The other Nation team and the Rock N Roll Express are gone as well with the other Boricuas quickly following. Henry is still in there despite Brown being eliminated but who’s going to stop him?

The Headbangers are eliminated and Henry Godwinn dumps Henry. We’re down to the LOD, the Midnight Express, the Godwinns, Too Much and the DOA as they’re flying through the eliminations so far. There goes Too Much and things finally slow down a bit with eight total men to go. Hawk runs Henry over but Phineas eliminates Skull (partner of 8-Ball) to get rid of DOA. The bikers come back in anyway and throw out the Godwinns to get us down to the LOD and the Midnight Express.

Ever the poor sports, the Godwinns come back in with their metal buckets to knock the LOD silly and give the Express a chance. Animal rolls under the ropes to the floor, leaving Hawk to beat up both goons on his own. Animal comes back in to clean house and the Express is clotheslined out to give LOD the win at 8:13.

Rating: D+. Above all else, they kept this short. There was no standing around waiting to get rid of most of the teams and it makes for a much faster battle royal. Having the LOD return was a great way to wake up the crowd to start and has set a much better pace than the preview few years worth of opening matches. That’s already a good sign so maybe this one will work better. The new LOD wouldn’t work all that well but at least this was fun and quick.

Kevin Kelly and Honky Tonk Man tell us to CALL THE HOTLINE!

Clips of various media appearances that took place in Boston over the recent days. This would become a Wrestlemania tradition and always made the show feel more important.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Michinoku is defending and won the inaugural title late last year. Aguila is better known as Essa Rios and slaps hands with the champion to start. A quick spinwheel kick sends Taka out to the floor and Aguila follows him out with a moonsault to the outside. Taka kicks him outside as well and nails his signature running springboard dive to take over again.

A forearm to the mask (JR’s term, which is one of the only times I’ve heard that called accurately) staggers Aguila but he armdrags Taka off the top. The champ heads outside again and Aguila is right there with a corkscrew plancha for a big gasp from the crowd. Back in and Taka’s middle rope splash (quite the step down after the start to this match) hits knees but he comes back with a running kick in the corner. The Michinoku Driver is escapes but Aguila’s hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. Taka dropkicks him out of the air and now the Driver connects to retain Taka’s title at 5:55.

Rating: B-. This was another good choice to keep the show going as they didn’t even try to do anything aside from fly around the ring and pop the crowd. The light heavyweight division didn’t work very well but this was one of the best pairings they had. Simple idea here and they played it well without staying too long. Good stuff.

Gennifer Flowers (a player in a Bill Clinton scandal) interviewed the Rock earlier today. Yes it’s the Rock now, following one of the best character turnarounds in history. It was clear that Rocky wasn’t going anywhere so he was turned into the ultimate cocky jock who spewed one liners and had more charisma than he knew what to do with.

Flowers asks about Rock being the leader of the government but leader doesn’t suit him. Instead it should be ruler, and as ruler he feels that the homeless should stay away from his freshly mowed grass at his palatial estate in Miami. As for the judicial system, all Rock’s fans need to know is that Rock is judge and jury. Make that a hung jury of course, if you smell what he’s cooking. Some Monica Lewinsky jokes take us out. You might as well have just started printing the money with Rock’s face on it based on this segment.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

HHH is defending in this battle of the huge noses and he’s another guy who has been completely changed. He still has Chyna but now has joined D-Generation X and become a far more dangerous man. HHH and Owen have been feuding for months as fallout from Survivor Series 1997 (I’m going to assume you know that one and why Bret isn’t around anymore) and Chyna is going to be handcuffed to Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter to make sure this is one on one. Owen has a bad leg coming in.

Hart starts fast and scores with some early clotheslines and right hands in the corner followed by a standing hurricanrana for two. So much for the leg being badly damaged but he does seem a bit ginger. HHH sends him to the floor but Slaughter stops Chyna from interfering. Back in and a poke to the eye breaks up the Sharpshooter to give HHH control.

This works a bit better than last time as HHH’s offense has gotten a lot better in the last year. The jumping knee to the face gets two (JR describes it as negotiating a two count, which opens up a host of questions. Did he negotiate it with the referee? Owen? The guy in section 14 selling popcorn? And what did he have to give up for it?) and HHH finally starts going after the leg.

We hit a leg lock and Owen’s nose is bleeding. Owen fights back and crotches the champion against the post, followed by a missile dropkick for two. There’s a spinwheel kick for the same and Lawler is panicking. Owen tries an enziguri but messes up his ankle again to put both guys down. The Sharpshooter is kicked away but Owen falls face first into a low blow.

Lawler goes nuts wanting a DQ as he can just never bring himself to like a Hart. Now the Sharpshooter goes on but Chyna is able to pull HHH to the ropes. Nice job Slaughter. Chyna doesn’t think he did that well either and throws powder into his eyes. The blinded Slaughter (or the referee for that matter) doesn’t see her hit Owen low, setting up the Pedigree to retain the title at 13:27.

Rating: B. What a difference a year makes with HHH as he went from a slow, boring match with Goldust to a really good, fast paced match here with Owen. I never quite got why Hart kept losing and losing to HHH as you would think they might want to go somewhere with him as the last remaining Hart. At least he was a good opponent for HHH and we got a good match here.

Chyna beats up Slaughter to some nice applause post match. Slaughter was one of the worst authority figures in company history and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone who actually enjoyed him in the role.

Buy the new Austin shirt! I think they’ve got that one covered.

We recap Goldust/Luna vs. Marc Mero/Sable. This was an interesting feud as Mero is terribly jealous of Sable’s popularity but now he’s coming to her defense because Luna and Goldust have gone too far attacking her. Goldust is in a very strange place at this point as he’s starved for attention and is wearing mostly women’s clothing or various sexual attire. The video makes no secret of the fact that this is all about Sable.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

That’s Luna Vachon of course and the genders have to match here. The guys get things started and a headscissors sends Goldust crawling over to the corner. Luna wants Mero but gets Sable instead and immediately bails to the floor for a chase. It’s back to Goldust vs. Mero but Sable comes in for a superkick, much to Mero’s annoyance. Luna insists Goldust stay in, much to his annoyance.

Both guys try cross bodies and it’s Mero falling on top for two. The announcers keep talking about how amazing and tough Sable is for taking this match and it’s already annoying. We finally get the tag to Sable for the catfight with Luna but thankfully Sable starts kicking in the corner, including a big shot to Goldust. It’s back to the men with Mero’s slingshot splash hitting knees. That’s fine with Mero who hits Goldust low but can’t get the TKO (fireman’s carry into a cutter).

Mark flips out of a Curtain Call instead and hits (well mostly at least) a springboard moonsault press for two. Some heel miscommunication gives Marc another near fall and now the TKO connects but Luna breaks up the cover. Luna splashes Goldust by mistake and Sable powerbombs her for a very close two. Instead it’s the TKO for the pin on Luna at 9:11. They probably should have just ended it at the powerbomb.

Rating: C. The match was watchable enough albeit a bit messy, but they weren’t even trying to hide the fact that this was all about Sable. To be fair though, the crowd was going NUTS for her and she made the company a fortune going forward so this push was justified. Not a good match or anything but Sable was clearly a big star.

Mero celebrates like he got the pin in a perfect character move.

JR gets the schedule wrong and says we’re coming up on the Tag Team Title match but instead it’s Tennessee Lee (formerly known as Colonel Robert Parker, a pretty bad manager) in the ring. In a pretty worthless cameo, Lee introduces Jeff Jarrett who escorts Flowers to be guest ring announcer.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Rock is defending and the leader of the Nation of Domination. He actually gave Shamrock a title shot back at the Rumble where Shamrock got disqualified and the feud has continued from there. This included Rock BLASTING Shamrock in the face with a chair a few weeks back on Raw in a shot that would probably get him fired today. Rock has the Nation in his corner, minus Faarooq who Rock took the leadership from. If Rock gets disqualified here, he loses the title.

Shamrock starts fast with a pair of clotheslines to send Rock out to the floor. Back in and a kick puts Rock down, followed by a string of right hands to the face. Rock sends him into the steps to take over and the yet to be named People’s Elbow gets two. Ken comes right back and grabs a chair but shoves the referee down, allowing Rock to hit Shamrock in the face with the chair for two. That’s it for Rock’s control though as Shamrock pops up and scores with a powerslam, followed by the ankle lock for the submission at 4:48.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t work very well as it felt like an extended Raw match (yeah five minutes would be long on Raw at this point, especially for the midcard) instead of a big showdown. I know the popular idea would be to change the title here but they knew they had something special with Rock here and didn’t want to screw with it.

Then Shamrock beats up the Nation and puts the hold back on, meaning it’s a reversed decision to give the title back to the Rock. The champ, bleeding from the mouth, is stretchered out but makes sure to hold up the title because it’s still his. Shamrock is livid and beats Rock up even more on the bandstand.

We get the awesome Attitude promo that made the company feel much more real than it was before. A lot of the roster talks about their past accomplishments (Mero being a Golden Gloves champion, the Rock playing for the Miami Hurricanes, Faarooq’s success at Florida State etc.) with the final line of “This isn’t real? Try lacing my boots.”

Tag Team Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and this is a dumpster match (a casket match but with a dumpster) due to them putting Jack (formerly Mankind) and Charlie (Terry Funk) inside a dumpster and shoving them off the stage in February. The Outlaws (You better know them. They were Tag Team Champions in 2014) are growing in popularity every day, even though they’re pretty awful in the ring and completely anti-authority.

It’s a brawl to start and for once that’s the right move. The champs take over and send Funk (the announcers call him Funk more often than they call him Charlie so it’s good enough for me) into the dumpster but you have to get both guys inside and close the lid to win. Cactus tries his flip dive off the apron but only hits the dumpster. Terry gets out so the Outlaws take turns slamming the dumpster down on the challengers’ heads.

Cactus gets the Claw on Road Dogg (sporting a “Look Ma! No curse!” shirt, referencing the Armstrong family curse in a very nice touch) and Funk blasts Gunn in the head with a trashcan lid. Gunn gets crushed by a cookie sheet and now let’s bring in a ladder. Sure why not. Cactus and Gunn climb up and Dogg hits Funk into the ladder, knocking both of them into the dumpster in a huge crash and a big spot for this time period.

Funk gets powerbombed into the dumpster (JR freaks out over this happening to Funk at 53, but he’ll still be around EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER. That’s just not normal.) but Cactus and Gunn get out and take it to the back. They head into the kitchen with Dogg joining in on the beating. Funk gets to the back as well and steals a forklift, lifting the Outlaws into the air and dropping them into another dumpster for the win and the titles at 10:00.

Rating: B. I liked this way more than I should have as it’s a wild brawl but that’s a lot smarter than having these teams try to do a regular match. Cactus and Funk winning the titles together is a cool moment due to their past together and this worked really well. The Outlaws would join DX the next night as they regained the titles, but this was a solid brawl and the title change felt like it meant something.

In Your House XXI ad.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane and this is going to get a bit complicated. Paul Bearer had promised to destroy Undertaker and revealed that Undertaker had a brother named Kane, who had been horribly burned in a fire as a child, a fire that Bearer claimed Undertaker set. During the first Hell in a Cell match, Kane actually debuted and laid out Undertaker, seemingly setting up their first match. However, Undertaker vowed to his parents that he would never fight his brother.

Kane didn’t take this well and, after seemingly forming a bond with his brother, put Undertaker in a casket which he lit on fire at the 1998 Royal Rumble. That was enough for Undertaker, who returned a few weeks later, promising to face his brother at Wrestlemania XIV. This was one heck of a build and the perfect blend of drama and over the top insanity that made the era work. Now if only the match can live up to it.

Before we get to the match though, here’s baseball legend Pete Rose as guest ring announcer for one of the most infamous moments in Wrestlemania history. Rose goes full on heel, ripping on the Boston Red Sox for not being able to win the World Series. “I left tickets for Bill Buckner but he couldn’t bend over and pick them up. HOW BOUT IT?” The fans are ready to kill him but here’s Kane to do it for them. Kane tombstones Rose and is instantly the biggest hero in the building…..for about ninety seconds. Major credit to Rose here, who clearly got the idea of being a heel instantly and had a blast with this. He’ll be back.

Undertaker vs. Kane

The first of many. Undertaker begins his tradition of incredible Wrestlemania entrances, walking through a tunnel of torches held by cloaked druids. JR knows it’s going to be big and sums it up perfectly: “This ovation will be not of this world.” That’s nowhere near strong enough as the place comes unglued and with good reason. What an entrance, easily one of the best of all time.

They stare each other down and Undertaker hammers away to almost no effect. A big toss by the throat sends Undertaker into the corner but Kane charges into a boot to the face. Undertaker charges into a Tombstone attempt but gets dropped on his head in the corner. Kane knees Undertaker down in the corner before draping him ribs first across the top rope.

Undertaker gets back up and tries a big boot but winds up on Kane’s shoulders. The electric chair drop doesn’t work very well as Undertaker lands on his arms but it was a cool spot until then. Kane takes him to the floor and drops the steps on Undertaker’s back a few times. A suplex brings Undertaker back in and the backstory starts to fall apart. Kane was supposed to be in an asylum for most of his life but he knows how to suplex people? It doesn’t add up, which says a lot given how much else I’m supposed to buy about this story. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane pulls him up at two.

We hit the chinlock on Undertaker, stop for a clothesline break, and put it back on. After the better part of three minutes in the hold, Undertaker fights up and drops Kane over the top. The Taker Dive makes its Wrestlemania debut but Kane steps to the side, sending Undertaker crashing through the Spanish announcers’ table. Back in and Kane scores with the top rope clothesline for two.

They slug it out again and Kane grabs a Tombstone for two. Undertaker comes back with a good chokeslam and a Tombstone of his own…..for two. That might be the first time ever and the shock from the crowd implies that it is. A second tombstone gets two more and there’s a top rope clothesline. Kane sits up again so Undertaker gives him a third Tombstone and a regular cover for the pin at 16:58. Kane would have been up at 16:59.

Rating: D+. This is a tricky one to grade but the atmosphere and build carries this as far as it can go. The problem here is that chinlock. It just kills everything the match had going for it and looks so completely out of place. This would have been better as an all out war which they tried at times but it wound up being more of a wrestling match, which isn’t the right idea. The ending sequence helped and the power brawling was good, but this needed to be a war with weapons and violence all over the place, which it only was at times.

Now for the big question: did the right person win? The more I think about it, the more I think Undertaker should have lost here. It’s very rare to see a real argument for the Streak ending, but at this point it still wasn’t really a thing. The story makes more sense if Kane destroys Undertaker here and wins, but you could argue that Kane already destroyed Undertaker when he lit him on fire. If you can’t stop a man by lighting him on fire, pinning him for three seconds really doesn’t prove much. Still though, they both wound up fine with Kane being WWF World Champion in June.

Bearer comes in for some cheap shots, allowing Kane to lay Undertaker out with a chair and another Tombstone. Kane and Bearer leave but Undertaker sits up again.

Another Attitude spot, but this time with some legends talking about how amazing their days were. In their time, there were no flashing lights or moonsaults, no walking the top rope or pyrotechnics. Today though, the legends are the ones cheering. Another outstanding ad here as you can see that everything is changing.

We recap Austin vs. Michaels, which translates to a video on Mike Tyson, who is the real star of this show and the reason it was such a big deal. This is one of the best celebrity investments in company history and made the match.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Tyson, a member of D-Generation X, is guest enforcer referee, meaning he’s on the floor for most of the match. Michaels is defending after Austin won the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. We get the always cool tracking shots from the back to the entrances to make this feel even more special. Austin gets an incredible reaction as there’s just no way to hide the fact that he’s winning tonight. The D-X Band plays Shawn to the ring for a cool entrance. Remember that Shawn’s back and Austin’s neck are barely held together here.

They circle each other to start and Shawn gets in a left jab. The chase is on and Shawn loses most of his tights for an unwanted view. A backdrop puts Shawn over the top and down onto HHH, who whips Austin into the barricade in retaliation. That’s enough for a double ejection and it’s one on one.

They fight to the bandstand and Shawn hits him in the face with a cymbal. The fans get behind Austin again and the guys head back inside with Austin working on the back. An atomic drop (makes sense) gets two and it’s back to the floor with Shawn being knocked off the apron and face first into the announcers’ table. Austin jacks him in the jaw again but gets backdropped over the top and into the crowd. The bell knocks Austin silly again and Tyson has no problem with it of course. You can see the agony on Shawn’s face and he can barely move.

The fans chant HOLYFIELD in an annoying moment and Shawn keeps punching away. Austin tackles him though and throws Michaels over the top as I can’t believe Shawn can still get up. The champ sweeps the leg and wraps it around the post to give him a target. Back in and Shawn stays on the knee before sending him to the floor for a baseball slide. There’s a Figure Four on Austin but he turns it over pretty quickly. It’s comeback time until Shawn grabs a sleeper.

Austin drives Shawn back into the referee though and Michaels is whipped into various corners. You can see that he can barely take the bumps and it’s tough to sit through. Shawn comes back with the forearm and somehow nips up (the camera misses it AGAIN). The top rope elbow looks to set up the Sweet Chin Music but Austin is ready for it. The Stunner is countered as well and I’ll let JR take it from here until the pin at 20:01. “Michaels going for another kick. Austin…..HE GOT IT! THE STUNNER! MIKE TYSON IN! AUSTIN IS THE CHAMPION! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!”

Rating: A-. And that’s how the WWF won the war. When you factor in the injuries, this is one of the most impressive and gutsy performances you’ll ever see. Austin was in terrible shape and he’s still miles ahead of Shawn. It’s hard to watch Shawn going through a match like this and the things he was doing out there are absolutely amazing when you consider he had a broken back. Let me repeat that: he had a BROKEN BACK and wrestled a great twenty minute match where he was being thrown all over the place. Great match and exactly the way Austin needed to ascend to the top of the wrestling world.

One last thing: Austin hit one Stunner and only one Stunner. They didn’t trade finishers all over the place and kick out at 2 and 7/8. The finishing move finished the match and won the title, just like it’s supposed to do. It really makes the moment feel more important and definitive as Austin won a close match but he won it with no doubts.

JR gets the famous line with “The Austin Era has begun!” Michaels is ticked off at Tyson and takes a swing, earning him a right hand to the jaw to knock Shawn out cold. Confetti falls and the highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. It’s not a great show, but it nailed the ending and lived up to enough of the hype to do what it was supposed to do. The WWF was white hot at this point and there was nothing WCW could do to touch them now that Austin is the champion. As mentioned earlier, it would be two weeks before they won a night in the Monday Night Wars but the battle was over the second this show went off the air.

There are better Wrestlemanias out there but this one was the right show at the right time with the right ending. The memorable moments here are memorable for a reason and the show holds up today for all the right reasons. This show launched the WWF into its second great era and they never looked back. Well not for a few years at least.

Ratings Comparison

Tag Team Battle Royal

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: B

Marc Mero/Sable vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

That’s a lot more all over the place than usual, even by my standards.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/21/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-14-everything-changes-forever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-the-austin-era-has-begun/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XIV (2013 Redo): Like Looking In A Weird Mirror

Wrestlemania XIV
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is what you call a changing of the guard show. For the last six months or so it’s been clear that Austin is ready for to be on the top of the mountain and tonight he ascends to the peak. Shawn Michaels is world champion but he has a broken back thanks to hitting his back on a casket thanks to the Undertaker. The main draw of the show though is Mike Tyson as the guest referee. I can’t emphasize enough how huge that was for WWF. Other than that we’ve got Kane vs. Undertaker in a battle of the monster brothers. This is a huge show to say the least. Let’s get to it.

Chris Warren of the DX Band sings an unnecessary rock/metal version of the Star Spangled Banner/America the Beautiful. Thankfully this is booed out of the building.

The opening video is about tradition and the new generation that has arrived here tonight. Tyson and DX are featured along with Austin, even though they’re fighting tonight. Even though they’re fighting tonight, they’re fighting over the same belt that Hogan and Andre fought over. That’s a great point actually.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission (Recon/Sniper), Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Brown/Henry), Nation of Domination (Faarooq/Mustafa), Legion of Doom 2000, Quebecers, Rock N Roll Express, Headbangers, Too Much, Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwinns, New Midnight Express

This is the format of if one member is eliminated then both are out and the winners get a title shot at sometime in the future. LOD returns as the fifteenth team with Sunny as their new (mouth watering) manager. It’s a big brawl to start because there are thirty people in the ring at once. One of the Boricuas is on the floor and is either hurt or is tying his shoe. It’s Savio and he’s helping his partner to the back.

The Truth Commission is out as Cornette and Sunny get in an argument. Barry Windham comes out and eliminates Chainz to tick off Bradshaw. Brown and the Quebecers are out as this is clearing out fast. The other Nation team is done too and there goes the Rock N Roll Express. The Headbangers are out and Mark Henry is still in despite his partner being gone. Ok now Henry is out and there goes Taylor to eliminate Too Much. We’ve still got the LOD, the Godwinns, the Midnights and the DOA. You can actually see the mat now.

The fans are completely behind the LOD as you would expect. Apparently the title match will be next month at Unforgiven. Things slow WAY down as Hawk runs over Henry Godwinn. The bikers (D.O.A.) are gone but they come back in to eliminate the Godwinns for fun. That leaves the returning L.O.D. against Bombastic Bob Holly and Bodacious Bart Gunn. Do I need to draw you a picture here?

Actually I do as the Godwinns come back in and blast Hawk and Animal with metal buckets. Animal is knocked to the floor so Hawk has to fight them both off on his own. Since this is the NEW Midnight Express, that’s about as hard as fighting off a paper bag. Animal comes back in and the Legion easily eliminates the Midnights to win.

Rating: D. As is the case with most battle royals with this many people in the ring, the majority of the match is spent clearing out the ring. Once we got down to a handful of teams left, it was clear who was going to win. That’s fine though, especially when the team is this popular. The tag division SUCKED at this point so bringing the L.O.D. in wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

We get some clips of the events of Wrestlemania week in Boston, including the DX Public Workout where Austin got tied up in the ropes and Shawn kissed his head. Regis Philbin rubbed Austin’s head for some reason too.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Taka is defending and is pretty much the only wrestler in the division worth anything due to WCW having every luchador and smaller Japanese guy of note under contract. Aguila is Spanish for eagle in case you’re not familiar with El Espanol. He would later take his mask off and be called Essa Rios. No one would care about him though until he got a hot redheaded manager named Lita and then people only cared about her. They shake hands to start and we’re ready to go.

Aguila hits a headscissors to start and a spin kick to send Taka to the floor. A HUGE moonsault press to the floor takes out Taka. Rios never was great but he had one of the most beautiful moonsaults you would ever see. They fight to the apron where Taka throws him back in then dropkicks him to the floor. There’s a GREAT springboard dive to take Aguila out as they’re flying very high so far.

After a quick word from the Spanish announcers, Taka hits a low dropkick for two. Aguila comes back by throwing Taka out to the floor and armdragging the champion off the top rope as he comes back in. A springboard into another armdrag puts Taka down and there’s the running up the corner wristlock that Sin Cara uses to send Taka to the floor. Aguila hits a corkscrew dive to take the champion out again and the stupid northeast crowd doesn’t care. Well screw them because this is awesome so far.

Back in and Michinoku misses a corkscrew dive but Aguila hits a moonsault for two. Taka fights up and hits a smack to the face to put Aguila on his knees. A splash hits knees though and Aguila puts Michinoku back on the top. Aguila hits a big old rana off the top for no cover, allowing Taka to come back with a knee in the chest. A missile dropkick puts Aguila down as does a powerbomb, but Taka misses a moonsault. Aguila dives into a dropkick though and the Michinoku Driver retains the title.

Rating: B. This started VERY fast and while it was clear they got tired by the end, this was still great stuff. It’s not quite Mysterio/Guerrero/Psychosis level stuff but it beats anything else WWF was putting on with this division. Taka was the right choice for the inaugural champion, but he kept the title WAY too long and that’s why the division died. Well among the other reasons I mentioned earlier.

Gennifer Flowers, some chick from the a Bill Clinton scandal, interviews the Rock. First off, what would you do if you were leader of this country Rock? “Well Genny, the term leader is a bit beneath the Rock. Let’s go with……..ruler.” Ok, so how would the Ruler handle the country’s homeless situation? “Well it’s like this: as long as the Rock still has his palace in Miami and those homeless pieces of trash keep their cardboard boxes off the Rock’s freshly mowed grass, everything will be copacetic.”

As for the judicial system, everything will be just fine as long as the people know he’s the judge and the jury. After looking at Gennifer, he makes sure to point out it would be a hung jury, if you smell what he’s cooking (there’s a chance that’s the debut of that line but I don’t think it is). As for the White House, it’s a tough job to run but as long as all the interns underneath the Rock don’t do anything “orally” wrong, everything will be fine. This was HILARIOUS and one of the funniest promos Rock has ever had.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

HHH gets played to the ring by the DX Band and is defending here. This would be about four months after Owen returned as the only remaining Hart and attacked Shawn, but we couldn’t have Owen vs. Shawn on PPV so let’s feed Owen to HHH instead. Chyna is handcuffed to the worst authority figure ever, Sgt. Slaughter, during this match. Owen has a bad ankle coming in thanks to an attack by HHH.

The brawl is on to start and HHH is backdropped down quickly. Hart fires away right hands in the corner and a standing rana gets two. Owen is sent to the floor but Chyna can’t interfere. HHH tries to dive at the Canadian but hits the barricade instead, keeping the advantage in Owen’s favor. Back in and he loads up the Sharpshooter but HHH pokes him in the eye. There’s a facebuster and a clothesline to put Owen down and HHH finally gets a breather.

The high knee gets two for the champion as does a knee drop. Are you noticing a pattern with this offense? Back up and Owen charges into a boot in the corner but HHH hits a DDT to break Owen’s momentum and get a two count at the same time. HHH finally starts going after the bad ankle as Lawler cackles. Owen is bleeding from the bridge of his nose as HHH takes him down again.

There’s another leg hold as Jerry is very happy to see a Hart in pain. HHH stomps on the bad ankle as the nose is busted even worse now. Owen comes back with some right hands before dropping down in the corner and crotching HHH ala Mr. Perfect. A missile dropkick gets two for the challenger as does a spinwheel kick. There’s the enziguri to put HHH down but Owen can’t follow up.

Hart eventually gets two as we get about our third loudly called spot of the match. HHH powerbombs Owen to counter a rana for two of his own. Owen goes up top and hits a cross body for two more. A Pedigree and Sharpshooter attempt are both blocked but Owen falls face first on HHH’s crotch for two. Another Pedigree attempt is countered and the Sharpshooter goes on in the middle of the ring.

Chyna, despite being handcuffed to the commissioner, manages to pull HHH to the ropes. See? I told you Slaughter was really bad at his job. There’s some powder in Slaughter’s face which allows Chyna to hit Owen low. The Pedigree retains the title for HHH as Slaughter continues to be incompetent.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable but not much more than that. HHH going over was questionable but he would become the new leader of DX the next night so maybe there was something to it. Also, it’s not like Owen wasn’t used to getting jobbed out anyway. Slaughter was laughably bad at his job so at least we had that to laugh at.

Chyna decks Slaughter post match.

Buy the new Austin shirt! Oh don’t worry: A LOT of people did that.

We recap Mero/Sable against Goldust/Luna. This was a weird feud as Mero had been a total jerk to Sable for months as he thought she was hogging the spotlight. Then Luna and Goldie went after her so for about a week, Mero was the gallant hero standing up for her honor.

The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon vs. Marc Mero/Sable

The guys start things off with Mero hitting a fast headscissors and a clothesline. Off to the women folk but Luna wants to fight Mero. She gets Sable instead and Luna runs away instead of fighting. We get a lap around the ring and the men come back in before we get any contact. Goldie gets backdropped by Mero and kicked in the ribs by Sable for good measure. Luna won’t tag in so it’s back to Mero so that the genitals match.

Mero pounds away on Goldust in the corner but gets clotheslined down to change control. A quick cross body gets two for Marc but Goldust hits an uppercut to put him right back down. The fans chant for Sable as the men collide. A double tag brings in the girls and Sable spears Luna down. She pounds away and kicks Luna in the corner before bealing her across the ring.

Sable pounds on Goldust as well but it’s back to Mero who doesn’t fare as well. With Sable trying to get back in, Mero hits Goldust low but can’t hit the TKO. Instead Goldust counters into a DDT for two but he can’t hook the Curtain Call. Mero hits a running knee lift and a moonsault press for two. Goldust goes up but gets crotched, setting up a top rope rana by Mero for two.

Marc threatens to hit Luna and ducks just in time to make the heels collide. The TKO on Goldust gets two more as Luna makes the save. Sable tags herself in and covers Goldust but has to avoid a splash from Luna. A Sable Bomb gets two on Luna and she’s back up in seconds. Not that it matters as the TKO (it’s a cutter out of a fireman’s carry) from Sable ends Luna a few seconds later.

Rating: C. This was WAY better than I was expecting it to be. The saddest part of this match though was what happened after: in the back Sable had praise heaped onto her while Luna was basically ignored. Sable could barely do anything in the ring while Luna was a seasoned veteran who received no credit for her work with Sable. Only Owen Hart congratulated her on her success. That’s rather sad when you think about it.

Jeff Jarrett brings out Gennifer Flowers to be at ring announcer for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

This is just after the debut of the new name for Rocky Maivia and he’s defending. He’s also in the Nation of Domination. Flowers isn’t very good at this but she’s trying at least. A few weeks ago on Raw, Shamrock was beating up D’Lo Brown but Rock came out for the save. He hit Shamrock in the head with a chair shot that would get John Cena fired today. He also hit Faarooq, the leader of the Nation, in the head “by mistake. I’m sure.

Shamrock immediately attacks to start and Rocky is in trouble. A clothesline puts the champion on the floor and Rock tries to walk out. Shamrock sends him into the barricade but has to stop the count, allowing Rock to get in some shots of his own. Apparently if Rock gets disqualified he loses the title. Back in and a kick to the chin puts the champion down and Shamrock rams Rock’s head into the mat a few times.

Back to the floor again, this time with Shamrock going into the steps to give Rock his first extended advantage. There’s the yet to be named People’s Elbow for two but Shamrock throws Rock out to the floor again. Ken gets a chair but stops to shove the referee down, allowing Rock to get the chair and CRACK Shamrock’s head with it. That gets two and there’s a powerslam by Shamrock. The ankle lock changes the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. This was too fast paced to work that well but Shamrock’s insanity worked really well here. Rocky would move on to the feud that launched him to the stars against HHH soon after this while Shamrock would fight various people until heading to the Corporation late in the year. Decent match but too short to mean much.

Post match Shamrock goes after Rock even more but here’s the Nation. Shamrock easily suplexes Henry down and puts Rock back in the ankle lock. This brings out Faarooq who won’t get in the ring to help his Nation teammate Rock. Shamrock keeps the ankle lock on Rock for a bit before finally letting it go. Instead he beats up referees, which causes the original referee to reverse his decision and give Rock the title back. Gah with the Dusty Finishes. With nothing to lose, Shamrock destroys Rock even more and holds up the title.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

This is a dumpster match which is a casket match with a dumpster. The Outlaws are defending because two months ago they put Cactus and Funk (Charlie is Terry Funk) in a dumpster and shoved it off the stage. Billy and Roadie are about 24 hours from joining DX so they’re not quite what they would become yet. It’s a brawl to start (were you expecting anything else?) and there’s a dumpster at ringside to put a team inside.

Cactus and Roadie trade shots to the head as Billy chokes Funk. Jack tries to charge off the apron at Roadie but gets sent into the side of the dumpster instead. Funk goes into the barricade as the champions are controlling early on. They backdrop Terry into the dumpster but he escapes before Jack can be put inside with him. That’s fine with the Outlaws as they drape both challengers over the edge of the dumpster and slam the lids over the backs of both guys.

Both challengers are put back inside but Jack grabs stereo Mandible Claws to stop the Outlaws’ momentum. We head back inside and Road Dogg gets caught by some neckbreakers before Jack and Billy head to the floor again. The Cactus Elbow with a cookie sheet crushes Gunn and it’s ladder time. Back in and Cactus goes up on top of the ladder along with Billy, onto to have Terry knocked into the ladder, sending both guys on top of it into the dumpster. Cactus climbs out as Terry is powerbombed into the dumpster.

The three remaining people fight into the back and Cactus is rammed into various metal objects. Now he goes into some large (as in 6’0) bottles of Surge and Powerade but Cactus comes back with double arm DDT onto a forklift. Funk pops back in and raises the Outlaws up on the forklift and drops them in another dumpster for the titles.

Rating: C. This was a garbage match (literally) but it was a fun brawl and the good guys got their revenge on the guys that injured them in the first place. What more can you ask for from a match like this, which was the third biggest on the card? Later it would be decided that the title change didn’t count because that was the wrong dumpster, leading to a cage rematch the next night with the Outlaws regaining the belts and joining DX.

Unforgiven is in Greensboro, North Carolina.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker. This dates back to last summer, when Bearer claimed that Undertaker burned down his parents’ funeral home, burning his brother Kane to deah. One night Undertaker was beating up Paul Bearer but Bearer claimed that Undertaker’s brother was alive. At Bad Blood, Kane interfered in the first Hell in a Cell match and cost Taker the match, much to Undertaker’s shock. Kane wanted to fight Taker but the Dead Man kept saying no. Kane went on a path of destruction throughout the company but Taker wouldn’t fight him.

Undertaker got a title shot at the Rumble and a week before the show, the brothers seemed to bond. Then at the Rumble itself, Kane turned on his brother and locked him in a casket, which was then set on fire. A few weeks later, Undertaker came back and said he would fight Kane at Wrestlemania. This led to a moment I’ve always loved as Taker was on top of the Titantron and sent a bolt of lightning down at a casket, lighting it on fire. It fell apart, revealing a Kane mannequin inside which burned to end Raw. This is a HUGE deal and almost the co main event.

Here’s Pete Rose to be ring announcer. After getting a warm reception, Pete turns heel on the audience and rips on them for losing for so long. Pete sounds a bit drunk here but not too bad. He makes fun of the Red Sox and there go the lights, cuing Kane. We debut a three year long running joke of Kane beating up Pete, this time with a Tombstone, sending the crowd into delirium. There go the lights and it’s time for the mother of all Undertaker entrances. Druids come out carrying torches and we hear music that sounds like Gregorian chanting. Undertaker walks out under a tunnel of fire and we’re ready to go. AWESOME.

Undertaker vs. Kane

There’s the bell and they stare each other down before Taker pounds away with no effect. Kane shrugs them off and LAUNCHES Undertaker into the corner but Taker is too quick. Kane comes back with a clothesline but Taker immediately sits up. A tombstone doesn’t work for Kane so he puts Taker in the Tree of Woe and stomps away. This is only Kane’s second match in the company to date so we don’t have a lot to go on with him.

A clothesline in the corner puts Undertaker down again as Bearer talks trash. Kane draps him over the top rope and there’s a forearm to the back of the head. Back in and Kane pounds away in the corner but Undertaker covers up. Taker gets a running start at Kane and winds up on the red one’s shoulders, only to be (kind of) slammed face first into the mat. They head to the floor with Taker being dropped face first onto the barricade. A Paul Bearer distraction lets Kane drop the steps onto his brother’s back.

Paul gets in some stompings before Kane suplexes Taker back in. Taker says bring it on and hits a few clotheslines, only to charge into a chokeslam for two as Kane pulls his brother up. We hit the chinlock for over a full minute before Undertaker fights up with punches to the ribs. A back elbow puts him back down though and an elbow drop sets up another chinlock by Kane. Taker fights out of that one as well, only to try to crotch Kane on the top rope. That doesn’t quite work though as Kane bounces on the top rope and falls to the floor.

Instead here’s a Taker Dive but Kane throws him through the Spanish Announce Table in a spectacular crash. Back in and the top rope clothesline gets two for Kane and Bearer is shocked. Taker loads up a Tombstone out of nowhere but gets countered into one by his brother but it only gets two. Kane is TICKED so they slug it out with Taker getting the better of it.

A clothesline puts Kane down and there’s a chokeslam by Undertaker. The Tombstone hits Kane but it only gets two. You can hear the fans gasp at the kickout. There’s another Tombstone but THAT just gets two so Taker goes up for a top rope clothesline. The third Tombstone FINALLY ends it, even though Kane would have been up at 3.1.

Rating: C-. I’ve heard this called terrible and yeah it’s bad, but it’s definitely not horrible. They would have been better suited cutting out about two minutes but even without that missing this was still a solid power match. It was clear they were getting winded by the end, but this is one of the matches where the crowd carried things. There’s nothing wrong with that and it worked well here. Nowhere near as bad as I remembered it.

Post match Kane lays out Undertaker again, blasting him with a chair a few times. A tombstone on the chair leaves Taker out cold.

We recap Austin vs. Michaels. Austin was the hottest thing in the history of ever and it was a matter of time until he won the world title. Mike Tyson was brought in to referee the main event and joined DX to desperately convince people that Austin had a prayer’s chance of losing here. Austin’s neck is basically being held together by tape while Michaels’ back isn’t that lucky, so expect a lot of easy brawling here.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Steve Austin

We get the always awesome shot of the guys walking from the back to the ring. Mike Tyson is guest enforcer on the floor and there’s a regular referee in the ring. JR: “Folks, it don’t get no bigger than this.” They circle each other to start and there’s a double bird for HBK. Shawn pops him with a left hand and does it again a few seconds later. The champion runs away but gets caught back inside as Austin pounds away and pulls Shawn’s tights down to give the girls a thrill.

A backdrop puts Shawn on the floor but HHH gets in a shot to Austin’s back. He sends Austin into the barricade which gets both him and Chyna ejected. Austin beats up HHH in the aisle but it lets Michaels get in a shot to take over. Shawn sends Austin into the dumpster shoulder first and we head back to the ring. The challenger comes back with right hands and there’s a Flair Flip which must feel like murder for Shawn.

The Stunner is countered as Shawn bails to the apron, only to get knocked onto the still standing announce table. Back in and the Austin elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock so Shawn can get his back pain down to only pure agony. Back up and Shawn hits a jawbreaker to give himself a breather. Shawn heads to the floor and it’s clear he can barely move. He tries to wrap Austin’s leg around the post but gets pulled face first into it instead.

Shawn comes back with a backdrop to put Austin into the crowd and there’s a bell shot for good measure. Back in and Shawn lays in some right hands but he can barely move other than that. The fans chant Holyfield to tick off Tyson for no apparent reason. More punching by Shawn but he can’t even bend over to pick up Austin’s legs. Austin comes back with a double leg trip and rapid fire punches to Shawn’s face before sending Michaels back to the floor.

This time though the tripping up works and Austin’s leg is wrapped around the post. It gets wrapped a few more times and we head back inside for some basic leg work. A figure four is countered and Austin kicks him shoulder first into the post. Shawn comes right back with another shot to the knee though before cannonballing down onto it for good measure. A chop block puts Steve down and there’s a very ginger figure four by the champion. After Shawn cheats any way he can, Austin turns the hold over to escape.

Michaels gets caught in a slingshot to send him into the post for two but he comes back with a sleeper. The referee gets crushed in the counter as Shawn is dropped face first onto the buckle again. Austin sends him into the corner and stomps a mudhole but Shawn comes back with the flying forearm. Michaels nips up to blow my mind before dropping the big elbow. He tunes up the band but Austin ducks. The Stunner doesn’t work but neither does another superkick attempt. The Stunner hits, Tyson slides in for the pin and Austin claims his destiny.

Rating: B+. Considering how messed up the two of them were, this was nothing short of a miracle. Shawn was literally wrestling with a broken back and Austin’s neck was close enough that you could say it was broken too. This was a great match and a great way to send Austin to the top of the company, as he beats the previous top guy and the torch is passed. At this point, no one thought Shawn would ever wrestle again so this was a great way to go out. This match is also the definition of “match where everyone and their mother knew what was going to happen and it was the 100% correct call”.

We get the famous line from JR of “The Austin Era has begun!” as Austin gets the belt for the first time. He poses on the ropes in another famous visual before handing Tyson an Austin shirt. Shawn is ticked off at Tyson and gets in his face so Tyson lays him out with a right hand (JR: “TYSON! TYSON! TYSON! RIGHT HAND! DOWN GOES MICHAELS!”). Massive celebrating ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is a pretty solid show and a good example of a shot that doesn’t fit with the individual parts that it had if that makes sense. The main event is by far the best, but this was much more about atmosphere and buildup. The good guys went over in every major match and only the Rock match had a screwy finish. Tonight’s show was about giving the fans what they were supposed to get and sometimes that’s the right move. This show finally launched WWF over the hump and put them on top in the Monday Night Wars, where they would basically stay forever (minus about six weeks in the fall

Ratings Comparison

Tag Team Battle Royal

Original: D-

Redo: D

Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Original: D+

Redo: B

HHH vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Marc Mero/Sable vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon

Original: C

Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

Redo: C-

New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

Original: C+

Redo: C

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: B

I have no idea what I was thinking on the second and third matches.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/21/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-14-everything-changes-forever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XIV (Original): He Did It

Wrestlemania 14
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: Fleetcenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Chris Warren

We have arrived in the Attitude Era full blast now. As of last year’s Wrestlemania, it was about as obvious as possible that Austin was going to be the guy that the company put itself on for the foreseeable future. Bret was gone due to Montreal and, we didn’t know it at the time, but Shawn was on his way out. This show was based completely around storyline with wrestling thrown in on the side.

The big deal at this show was Mike Tyson. Floyd Mayweather at last year’s show was nothing but a cheap imitation of this. Tyson being on the show was absolutely mind blowing at the time as he was one of the biggest names in the world. We all knew Austin would get the belt, but with Tyson there we wanted to see how he did it. The other feud was a mind blowing one as well with Kane vs. the Undertaker.

That feud is about as epic as you can get so I’ll go into the explanation for that when it’s time. This was the first show that was completely in the new era and it’s clear that the company was going in a new direction. You can see that in the very first match of the show. Before that though, we get an excellent video talking about how the new generation is killing off the tradition of Wrestlemania, but it questions if they really are doing so. Check it out if you get the chance. Where was I? Oh yes, let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how there’s a new era in the company. This era is full of brash young men that are fighting for the same title that Hogan and Sammartino had. Tonight instead of fighting history, they will become it. Cool opening video.

With no pyro or anything, it’s time for the first match.
Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission, Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Henry/Brown), Nation of Domination (Farrooq/Kama), Quebecers, New Midnight Express (Bart Gunn and Bob Holly), Rock N Roll Express (original), Headbangers, Too Much (Too Cool), Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwins, Legion of Doom 2000
This is for a title shot the following month at Unforgiven. The LOD is returning here, managed by the epitome of sex appeal, Sunny. If you ask most people here, Sunny was one of their first crushes. Just an absolute goddess. Anyway, this is a pretty big mess of a match. The rules are that if one man is eliminated, so is his partner. The RVD sign in the crowd amuses me. The crowd is going nuts for LOD, who were always ridiculously over.

We only see the intros of Farrooq/Kama and the LOD, more or less saying who the winners are automatically. Why there’s a remix of their song I have no idea. Anyway, Animal is in shorts now and Sunny is in very little. LOUD LOD chant starts up. Everyone starts on the floor so it’s a big brawl to start. Savio goes out. There isn’t much to say here as everything is a big mess with 30 people in the ring to start.

Kurrgan comes out and eliminates the Truth Commission. Barry Windham comes out to get rid of Chainz and Bradshaw. Thankfully that clears up a bit of space here. D’lo and Henry are out. The Quebecers are out. This is going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. The original Express is out. This is annoying beyond belief.

Castillo and Estrada are out. Headbangers are out. Henry is still in there even though his partner is out. I have no idea who is left. Henry is gone finally. Too Much is gone and Lawler is mad. Uh the Godwins, the DOA, the LOD, New Midnights and that’s it. We slow WAY down and this is just boring.

The DOA is finally out. We went from like two eliminations a minute to one in three minutes. Ok the DOA is still in. Now the Godwins are out as is DOA. The Godwins get their buckets to drill LOD, making it harder for the new Midnights to pick them up and toss them as the LOD are now dead weight. Animal goes under the ropes but Hawk hangs on. I think you know the ending here. The LOD clean house and almost stereo eliminations give the old guys the win.

Rating: D-. This was awful. The ending was known far before the match ended, the eliminations were awful as they went far too fast, and there were WAY too many people in the ring at once with 30 being in there at the beginning. This team went nowhere for the most part but anytime Sunny looks like that you can’t call it a failure at all.
Light Heavyweight Championship: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

This is the epitome of filler. No one ever knew what to do with these guys so it would be Taka vs. random opponent of the month. This whole title was just a waste and I don’t think anyone missed it when it was exiled to Metal. It was clearly a response to the Crusierweights, but the problem was simple: most of the good cruiserweights were taken already.

Aside from Taka, the WWF guys had no personality, no substance to them at all, and were just dull. There was absolutely no structure to the division whatsoever. See what I’m doing here? I’m typing this out so I don’t have to be bored to death by this match. Dang it I have to watch it I guess. There was zero transition here at all either as we just start the match. No entrance for Taka either.

They slap hands to start and here we go. This is very much like the Moolah Women’s Title defenses back in the 70s and early 80s. Asai moonsault by Aguila who is only 19. We head to the floor for the second time tonight as Taka hits a huge plancha to take down Aguila.

We go into the ring and the fans go into their seats. No one cares about these guys and it’s pretty clear. There’s a reason why this division bombed and I’ve gone into it already. We go to the floor for the third time in less than three minutes. Taka counters for a bit but gets caught by a top rope armdrag.

Aguila does some great flips and we’re on the floor one more time. Nice corkscrew plancha by Aguila takes Taka down as we’re doing high spot, rest, high spot, rest, lather rinse repeat. Moonsault by Aguila gets two. Middle rope splash gets knees for Taka and the champion is in trouble. Michinoku Driver and a moonsault miss but Taka gets a counter with a dropkick and the second attempt at the Driver ends this.

Rating: D+. The match was fine but at the same time, this was rather pointless. It’s the definition of filler as there was no reason to care about any character. Only Taka got any kind of extended camera time and when the challengers are all gone a week later, why in the world should I get interested? The division never worked and those are some reasons why.

We see some woman that had something to do with Bill Clinton interviewing the Rock. This is completely hilarious as Rock is the most egomaniacal person of all time, saying that all the major issues like homelessness aren’t important as long as his lawn is clean. He’s the judge and jury and is always a hung jury, if you smell what he’s cooking. If my memory is right, that’s the debut of that line. He makes sex jokes about interns and is absolutely hilarious.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

This feud is a residual effect from Montreal. The time of HHH as leader of DX was on the horizon as was his face turn. That would lead to one of the best feuds of the late 90s between him and the Rock, culminating in an absolute war in the ladder match at Summerslam. Chris Warren and the DX Band play HHH to the ring. He’s champion here and Chyna will be handcuffed to Sgt. Slaughter, the commissioner, during the match.

We get a quick video of Owen’s bad ankle being destroyed by Chyna and losing the title to HHH as a result. Owen never got his big match with Shawn and was more or less buried and fed to HHH who moved on to bigger stuff. Owen was given the European Title after beating Goldust to keep him appeased but the writing was totally on the wall at that point.

Setting up the handcuffs takes FOREVER. Owen comes out and the fight is on in a hurry. Bret is actually mentioned here which is odd to hear indeed. Hurricanrana gets two. Owen was insane in the ring at times for someone his size. HHHHH gets in a shot to the knee and we hit the floor. Chyna tries to interfere but gets stopped cold by Slaughter.

Owen takes over again and we go back to the ring. Sharpshooter almost goes on but HHH rakes the eyes. Hart lowers his head and gets a facebuster because of it. Well if you do it that obviously you deserve to get a knee to the face. Crotch chop to Owen. Earl Hebner isn’t here tonight and is in intensive care for some reason. He’s watching Mania though, probably thinking of how to screw over Owen for a change.

Suplex by HHH gets no cover. Jerry screams at HHH to go for the ankle but it’s a Flair knee drop instead. DDT gets two. HHH finally goes after the ankle and the big beaked Canadian is screaming in pain. Owen’s nose is busted. More ankle work but Owen gets some shots in to take over a bit. He ducks a boot and slides HHH’s balls into the post. Get Stephanie stat!

Missile dropkick gets two as the ankle is ok enough for that I guess. Quick belly to belly gets two. Enziguri puts HHH down but it reinjures the ankle and down goes Owen. The delay allows HHH to kick out before the three. Rana is blocked into a powerbomb for two for HHH. Chyna keeps trying to interfere as Owen gets a cross body for two.

Pedigree is blocked into another Sharpshooter attempt but Owen manages to fall on the little Pedigrees again for two. Owen lowers his head again and almost gets caught in the Pedigree again. Instead it’s reversed into the Sharpshooter but Chyna is able to pull HHH to the ropes even with Sarge out there. That’s rather impressive. Chyna gets some white powder from somewhere (read as Waltman) and throws it in Slaughter’s eyes. A low blow to Owen lets HHH hit the Pedigree to end it.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid match but they needed a few more minutes. Also the cheating at the end made the Slaughter aspect completely pointless. It’s good but there’s just not enough there to warrant a higher grade. I liked it though as Owen and HHH were both good in the ring with HHH being a shell of what he would become.

Chyna beats up Slaughter post match to a big pop just because she can.

Apparently we have some technical difficulties as Vince should be checked for a heart attack. I didn’t notice anything.

We recap Sable vs. Mero with him being starved for attention while Sable became a star. He got Goldust and Luna to help him in some weird way. This was one of the weirder angles in the early Attitude Era which is saying a lot. Luna wanted to make Sable ugly and Mero defended her, bringing Goldie into it. This takes like three minutes to explain.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna and Goldust

Oh he’s the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust here. I lay corrected. Mero is a boxer character here which mirrors his real life background. Goldie is of course dressed in a ridiculous outfit. Sable and Luna want to start us off. Sable is about as clueless as you could ask for. Remember that as I’ll get back to it later. Actually the guys start us off as the gender have to match here.

Off to the women as Sable gets a loud pop. Luna runs and the chase is on. Luna gets back in the ring and tags out so it’s back to the men. Mero backdrops Goldust and it’s off to Sable and Luna. Luna of course hides again like the heel she is so it’s back to Mero and Goldie again. You may notice Sable is doing NOTHING here.

Goldust gets a clothesline out of the corner to put Mero down and take over for a bit. Both guys go for cross bodies and it’s Goldust taking over again. The fans want Sable and I can’t say I blame them. She does look good here. Sable finally comes in to fight Luna and hammers away. She’s incredibly sloppy and fires “martial arts” kicks. Goldie gets drilled also and Luna is reeling.

She manages to get the tag off to Goldie so Sable hits him too. Mero beats on Goldust on the floor but can’t get a slingshot splash to come back in. Sable distracts the referee and Mero gets a low blow. TKO is countered into a DDT for two. Curtain call is reversed and Mero gets a running knee lift and a moonsault press for two. Top rope rana gets two and a rollup from heel miscommunication does the same.

TKO isn’t as crisp as it should be but Luna saves. Sable tags herself in and tries to pin Goldust. Luna misses a splash and Sable debuts her powerbomb to get two. See, for a big move like that it should END THE MATCH. Instead she ends it a few seconds later with a bad TKO.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here considering the star was Sable and Mero vs. Goldust was the core of this. While the did the lifting here, that still gives us the logical conclusion. Of course Sable gets the glory here by being told she’s such a great wrestler. This led to a somewhat sad story actually. After this match, Luna, a long since established veteran, claims that Sable refused to learn how to take bumps and would only get punched or slapped while Luna did all the work.

After the match, Sable was congratulated by everyone while Luna was left completely alone, with the exception of one person telling her she did well: Owen Hart. If you watch the match, you can see that Sable is completely clueless and is only able to do the two big moves that she knew. Other than that it’s all Luna. Also, Luna had always wanted to be the Women’s Champion, yet never got it because of Sable. A very sad story to me.

Jeff Jarrett and that woman from the Rock interview are presented to the crowd in a total waste of time. Oh and Tennessee Lee, the promoter of Jeff Jarrett, introduces them. He’s more famous as Colonel Robert Parker in WCW. Thank goodness the Nation of Domination’s music plays to hurry this along.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

This was an interesting little feud here. Shamrock was built up to be this fighting machine that had Rock’s number. Recently, Rock had gotten under Farooq’s, the leader of the Nation, skin, claiming that he, the Rock, was the reason for the group’s success. Four members of the Nation including the Rock are at ringside to face Shamrock. God that woman’s voice is annoying. Flowers is doing the announcing if you didn’t get that.

Shamrock really was sweet at what he did. He knew how to fight and he made sure you knew it. While never a great wrestler, he was completely legit and it made him that much more impressive sounding. Rock’s heritage is explained for the ten thousandth time, without it once being explained why his last name was Maivia and his father’s last name was Johnson.

It’s so weird because I’m watching Raw leading up to this as well as this show today so it’s kind of intriguing to see every little bit that set this up. Shamrock had been owning Rock recently and had let Rock get a clean chairshot which would get them fired today. Also Rock hit Farrooq with a chair for no apparent reason.

Shamrock sprints to the ring and it’s on. Rock ducks a lot of punches but gets kicked in the head to take him down. If Rock gets disqualified he loses the title. After some brawling on the floor it’s back in the ring and all Shamrock. The Nation interferes a bit to give Rock control as he sends Shamrock into the steps.

People’s Elbow isn’t quite of the people yet but it’s still good for two. Shamrock is up quickly, likely because it’s just an elbow. Rock is sent to the floor one more time and Shamrock grabs a chair. He shoves the referee down and Rock gets a BIG chair shot to the head for two. That was absolutely sick and is a great example of why those can be a bad thing. Shamrock does his usual stuff, grabs the ankle lock (yes, KEN SHAMROCK brought it to American pro wrestling, not Kurt Angle) for the quick tap to win the title!

Rating: C+. This was very quick but it did the job it was supposed to. Shamrock looked like an animal here and he massacred Rock with relative ease. When it was one on one Rock was completely overmatched and had to cheat to get anything going. The quick tap out was nice also.

Post match the Nation attacks and Shamrock fights them all off. Shamrock grabs the ankle lock again as Farrooq comes down. He looks at Rock and just walks away, more or less turning face. Shamrock grabs the hold again as referees and officials come down. They get their beatings too and Rock is taken out on a stretcher.

Shamrock’s eyes are FREAKY. Due to the beatings, the decision is reversed and Rock keeps the title. He goes after Rock and beats on him even more. Rock wouldn’t lose the title until August at Summerslam and Shamrock wouldn’t get it until October.

The WWF guys say they’re real athletes, which is true.

There’s a gate record tonight as there has never been a more lucrative event in this city. I find that hard to believe with Patriot games or Red Sox games.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Ago Outlaws

The backstory here is simple. Jack was feuding with the Outlaws and got tired of getting beaten up, so he got his friend Charlie, a.k.a. Terry Funk to help him. Eventually the Outlaws threw them in a dumpster and threw them off the stage. This match for the tag titles is the result of that act. It’s dumpster match which means you have to put both guys in the dumpster.

Road Dogg is getting the entrance there but doesn’t quite have it yet since they’re not in DX yet. There’s a dumpster at ringside. This is far more of a brawl than a match as you would expect. They hit the floor immediately and the beating is on. It’s Cactus vs. Road Dogg and Funk vs. Gunn. Cactus tries a flip at Road Dogg but bounces off the dumpster instead.

The Outlaws are in control early and manage to get Funk into the dumpster. Roadie hits a Russian Leg Sweep to ram Cactus’ head into the dumpster. That was SICK. The Outlaws slam the lids of the dumpster on the back of the heads of their challengers. Cactus is in the dumpster while Funk is abused. Both challengers are in now and Gunn celebrates but Cactus gets up and gets a double Mandible Claw. They couldn’t shut the lid so the match isn’t over.

Funk pops out of the dumpster with a cookie sheet to hammer away some more. Cactus and Funk take turns giving neckbreakers to Road Dogg as this is a total brawl. Cactus Elbow with a cookie sheet to Gunn on the floor. He looks for more toys and finds a ladder. Oh dear. Cactus and Billy climb it for no apparent reason and get launched into the dumpster.

They both get out but Funk is powerbombed into it by Billy. The Outlaws take Cactus to the back and we don’t have a camera there so we see some replays. Ah there’s a shot in the back with Cactus falling into everything. After being thrown into some massive soda bottles, Cactus finds a chair to even the odds. He puts both Outlaws on a forklift which Funk commandeers to put them in a dumpster to win the titles.

Rating: C+. Hard one to grade here as it was a total mess to say the least. That being said, the challengers worked themselves to death out there and it’s not like the Outlaws ever wrestled anyway. The ending would come into play the next night on raw as the Outlaws would get the decision overturned because they were put into the wrong dumpster. Later that night, the company just happened to have a steel cage handy so the titles were on the line in a cage match. DX interfered, giving the titles to the Outlaws, who finally joined DX.

Now we get to the real stuff on this card. This whole show was built around two matches: the WWF Title match, and this one right here. In what might have been the best booked “silly” feud of all time, the Undertaker was set to do battle with his brother Kane. My God this was built up perfectly. Sit back, because this is a long backstory.

After Paul Bearer betrayed Taker at Summerslam 96, Taker was going after him. Midway through the previous year when Taker was WWF Champion, he feuded with Mankind, managed by Bearer. During that feud, Bearer mentioned the name Kane. This drove Taker insane as he kept trying to cover up what this name meant. Finally Bearer revealed that it was Taker’s brother, and that Taker attempted to kill him.

This led to Bearer eventually saying that when Taker’s parents were killed in a fire, the Undertaker was the person that started the fire in an attempt to kill his parents. What wasn’t known was that his brother was in the house with them. Taker says that it was an accident and that he tried to rescue them but firefighters held him back. Bearer would go on to reveal that he was in fact Kane’s father.

This results in one of the worst beatings ever recorded on WWF television, but it ends with Paul saying that it’s the truth and that Kane told him, because Kane was still alive. Apparently Paul rescued him from the fire and cared for him for the last 20 years, which was unknown to Taker.

This was all revealed over a several month long period of time. Finally, in August, Taker was facing Shawn Michaels in the first ever Hell in a Cell match. Shawn gets one of the worst beatings of all time, but as Taker signals for the Tombstone, the lights go out and we hear organ music. An explosion goes off and a 7ft giant walks through the curtain, accompanied by Paul Bearer.

Taker is stunned as this man rips the door to the cage off and tombstones Taker, allowing Shawn to pin him. There was one key to this whole thing that made it work to me: for probably 3 months, you only heard about Kane. Until the night of the Cell match, you never saw him.

You didn’t know what he looked like, you didn’t know how he dressed, you didn’t know how big he was. You knew absolutely nothing at all but what you heard. All you knew was he was the Undertaker’s brother. After all the buildup you got about him, no matter what he looked like when you finally saw him, he was going to be awesome. That my friends, is how you build up a character.

Anyway, Kane of course wants to fight his brother. In the interest of ratings, Taker says no way. Kane begins just destroying people left and right, including two brothers named Matt and Jeff. They never did anything after that I don’t think. Kane would randomly run in and beat people up, all while begging the Undertaker to fight him.

He would come to the ring and beat up his brother, but Taker kept insisting he couldn’t fight his own flesh and blood. Kane punched him one night and raised him hand to do it again, but Taker blocked it. The crowd went nuts over him simply raising him arm. Taker didn’t fight back though and got beaten up again.

Finally, Taker and Shawn were feuding again, leading up to the Rumble. HHH kept interfering, but one night, out of absolutely nowhere, Kane helped his brother. That Sunday at the Rumble, Taker was gang attacked and Kane came out. However, he beat up his brother and shut him in the casket, costing him the match. Kane then locked it shut and set it on fire.

However, after this occurred, it was revealed that the casket was empty, prompting Paul Bearer to be absolutely terrified, knowing that Taker was still alive somewhere. Kane continued to ravage the company, until one night on Raw, the arena was covered by a blue light, and druids brought out a body on a pedestal. A bolt of lightning hit it, and the man on it rose up, revealing himself to be the Undertaker himself.

In a completely over the top yet still amazing promo, the Deadman said he will gain his revenge on his little brother, accepting his challenge for Wrestlemania. The next week on Raw, Kane was in the ring having called out his brother, yet instead Taker appeared on top of the titantron, talking about how Kane would feel his wrath. Taker then threw a lightning bolt at the stage, igniting a coffin that was standing up. Inside was an effigy of Kane, that began burning.

And that finally leads us to this. The video on the PPV took over five minutes so you know this was a long story.
Kane vs. The Undertaker

Before the match, Pete Rose appears, insulting Boston. Kane then comes out and tombstones Pete Rose, starting a three year running joke feud between the two which was rather funny in my eyes. This was kind of funny but went on too long. Rose sounds drunk too. Also, was there a need to make Kane a face for 8 seconds like that? Anyway, JR puts it just right: as Taker is about to appear, JR says, “This ovation will be not of this world.” He couldn’t’ have been more correct.

The fans all have their lighters out, they’re going crazy, Taker has a line of druids all holding up torches which he walks under, the lightning, the thunder, the smoke, and Taker dressed in his demonic attire. It was absolutely amazing looking and finally the pair face off in the middle of the ring. This is still the best entrance of his I’ve ever seen. This match might have the best build up I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Taker’s offense is no sold to start which is going to be something you read a lot in this review. Kane launches him into the corner but Taker keeps moving. Almost all Taker so far. Short clothesline by Kane but Taker pops up. Kane gets him in a Tombstone position but rams him into the buckle instead. You have to remember this is maybe the fifth match Kane had in this gimmick, at least two of which had been squashes. This isn’t something he’s used to yet.

Kane takes over and we slow things WAY down. These two seem incapable of having a good match for some reason. Taker winds up on Kane’s shoulders so Kane shoves him face first into the mat. Well kind of as it didn’t go like it was supposed to but you get the idea.

Out to the floor now as Taker is dropped across the railing. Kane drops the steps on Taker’s back as Bearer has the referee. The steps make a big sound and hit the referee in the leg, yet somehow the referee doesn’t call a DQ. Makes sense right? Taker is apparently trying to get Kane to punch himself out. Chokeslam gets two as Kane pulls his brother up.

We hit the chinlock. Now let’s time this as it goes on for FAR too long overall. Yet again we get the beginning of the Streak wrong, saying it started at Mania 8 instead of 7. Minute and a half on this particular chinlock until Taker breaks it up. A clothesline puts the more successful one down and it’s back to the chinlock. Just a minute this time as Taker lifts Kane up and puts him on the apron.

A big boot finally puts Kane on the floor. Taker dives over the ropes but Kane casually steps to the side and lets Taker crash into the table. Top rope clothesline puts Taker down again for two. You ever notice that everyone manhandles Taker better than the previous guy he fought?

Out of nowhere Taker grabs a Tombstone but Kane reverses into one of his own for a long two count. The crowd is barely alive for this by the way. Taker starts firing punches in and a big shot takes Kane down. Big boot is blocked so Taker has to settle for the Chokeslam. Taker gets the Tombstone but KANE KICKS OUT. This was unheard of as I don’t think that had ever been done.

Kane pops up so Taker has to hit a second Tombstone which AGAIN only gets two. Bearer is clutching his chest as he curses Undertaker. Taker goes up and hits a top rope clothesline to put Kane down one more time. The THIRD Tombstone finally gets the pin as he hooks a leg and Kane kicked out at about 3.1.

Rating: D+. While not great from a technical standpoint, this match’s build up was out of this world. A fine example of the hype carrying a match rather than the in ring work. The streak is beginning to mean something now as it reaches 7-0, although I don’t think that’s mentioned for another three years. The match itself more or less sucked, but the buildup was there and enough to make it passable. Cut about 5 minutes out of this and it goes WAY up.

Kane beats up Taker with a chair post match including a Tombstone on it.

We recap Austin vs. Shawn. Basically there’s not much build up here. Austin won the Rumble and got the title shot. On Raw one night, Vince had Mike Tyson show up as a guest, but Austin got in his face, flipping him off and starting a fight. This is what planted the seeds for the Austin vs. McMahon war that went on for nearly two years. Tyson is named the enforcer referee for the title match, but joins DX in between. It was his involvement with Austin that is credited with putting the WWF over the top of WCW, so in the end this was a great move.
WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

If you didn’t get that, Mike Tyson is a guest referee and allegedly in Michaels’ pocket. Yep Austin is over. Austin and Tyson immediately get in each other’s faces. Tyson is actually the outside referee here which is probably better. He grabs at Austin’s foot just after the bell. As JR says, it don’t get no bigger than this. Austin flips Shawn off as we’re waiting around a bit before we get going.

Shawn scores with some fast punches and then runs like an intelligent lad. Here comes Austin though and we get the Heart Break reveal. Austin goes for the knee, I guess trying to get rid of Sweet Chin Music. Shawn, with his tights still pulled down, gets backdropped onto DX on the floor.

HHH jumps Austin on the floor but the referee doesn’t disqualify Shawn due to it being too easy of a way out. HHH and Chyna are sent to the back to a huge pop. Austin beats up HHH by the band area because he can. Shawn drills him with a clothesline for hurting his life partner though as this is your standard Attitude Era brawl.

Back in the ring Shawn gets caught coming off the top and here comes Austin again. Flair flip in the corner and Shawn is more or less dead. Atomic drop gets two for the bald one. Austin knocks him off the apron and Shawn’s head smacks into the table. That looked sick. Austin hammers away and the elbow gets two.

We hit the chinlock as it’s clear Shawn is far weaker than he usually would be. Shawn fights back though and it’s time for the ring post. Austin pulls Shawn in and Shawn’s head rams the post instead. Nice and simple counter there. We hit the floor and Austin is sent into the crowd via a backdrop. Shawn pops him in the head with the bell which the referee didn’t see. Tyson did though and is like “I want a new rubber duckie. I’ll name it Albert and I can bite his head off in the tub!”

Back in the ring with Shawn dominating completely. He hammers away on Austin while Tyson cheers Shawn on. Shawn flips off the crowd and limps around the ring. Austin gets a kind of spear and hammers away. Shawn goes flying to the floor again and his back must just be dead. He gets the leg of Austin around the post though to reestablish his dominance.

Shawn works on the knee for a good while as he’s trying to take away the Stunner I guess. That makes sense. According to JR that’s what he’s doing at least. Austin gets knocked into the table by Shawn and Tyson throws him back in. Here’s the Figure Four from Shawn as he channels his inner other old crippled dude.

The hold goes on for a good while but Austin reverses and Shawn lets it go. Austin catapults him into the post for two and it’s time for a sleeper from Shawn. Naturally the referee is bumped (with Shawn’s back going into his face that is) and Austin hammers away. Shawn gets the forearm (minus the jump but I can accept that) and nips up.

Top rope elbow looks to kill Austin but there’s no striped shirt wearing referee. Shawn starts to tune up the band as his face looks horrible from the pain in his back. Austin ducks the kick, Shawn blocks the Stunner, Austin catches the kick, Stunner, Tyson slides in and Austin wins his first title! JR: “The Austin Era has begun.” Perfect description. Tyson puts on an Austin shirt and knocks Shawn the heck out to end the show.

Rating: B+. We all pretty much knew who was going to win here, but we watched to see how Tyson would play in and how Austin would do it. Looking back now and knowing how much pain Shawn was in because of his back, this match goes way up in impressiveness for me.

You can tell when Shawn is selling and when he’s in real pain and it’s good to see that despite Shawn being a complete jerk backstage, he would go out and perform despite the pain he was in. I don’t care how big of a jerk he was, that takes guts. This match pretty much comes down to who is going to hit their big move first.

The match itself is much better than I remember it being. That’s not saying much because I, like most people, barely remember it. We all know the ending and the buildup, but that’s about it. Good, underrated match.­

Overall Rating: B+. If there’s ever been a show where the torch was completely passed, you’re looking at it. Austin winning the title finally is as about as important of an event as you can possibly have in company history. It launched the WWF ahead of WCW in the war, although that wouldn’t be official for a few more weeks, and it was also the last time Shawn would wrestle for nearly 5 years.

However, even with the Taker match, the solid work elsewhere and only two bad matches, you really do have an all around solid show. It’s not great, but it’s certainly worth checking out. Skip the Light Heavyweight match and about five minutes of Taker/Kane and you’ll love the rest of it in theory.

 

 

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Smackdown – October 13, 2006: They Did It Right

Smackdown
Date: October 13, 2006
Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We are done with No Mercy and King Booker is still the World Champion. With that show out of the way, Booker has a new issue to deal with in the forms of John Cena and Big Show as we move towards Cyber Sunday and the Champion of Champions match. We still have some stuff to get through first though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a No Mercy recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Mr. Kennedy to get things going. A month ago, he asked to be sent to Raw because he is out of competition around here. The only one left was the Undertaker and Kennedy beat him at No Mercy. Long still won’t give him his release so tonight he’s defending the US Title, and if he wins, he’s off to Raw.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is defending and gets knocked into the corner in a hurry to start. Benoit hammers away and gets one off the snap suplex. The threat of the Crossface sends Kennedy over to the rope so Benoit chops him in the corner. Benoit is bleeding from the mouth as he fires off some knees to the ribs. The release German suplex sends Kennedy out to the floor but this time he gets in some shots to the back.

That’s about it for the offense though as Benoit slams him back inside and tries the Sharpshooter. With that not working, Benoit settles for a side suplex for two instead. Benoit drops him ribs first onto the top rope and then slams Kennedy off the top. The Swan Dive connects and now the Sharpshooter goes on but Benoit switches to the Crossface, allowing Kennedy to make the rope.

We take a break and come back with Benoit hitting a headbutt in the corner. Kennedy manages to send him shoulder first into the post though and then does it again for two. The logical armbar goes on but Benoit is back up with another failed Sharpshooter attempt. Kennedy goes back to the arm so Benoit kicks him in the head (the simple escapes are often the best) but the armbar goes on again. Then the gong sounds and Benoit uses the distraction to grab the German suplex. Cue Undertaker as Benoit rolls the German suplexes into the Crossface for the tap and the title.

Rating: C+. I’m not wild on the distraction setting up the finish but at least it wasn’t just a rollup for the title. Kennedy losing off the bat like this was a surprise but continuing a feud with Undertaker is a bigger deal than having the US Title at the moment. Kennedy can talk his way up the ladder as well as anyone so he’s going to be fine no matter what he does. Benoit is always good as the midcard champion so this works out for everyone.

This Week In Wrestling History: Steve Austin fills Vince McMahon’s Corvette with cement.

We look at Vince McMahon announcing the Champion of Champions match.

Teddy Long reminds King Booker that he will defend the World Title next week on Smackdown, which Booker does not like. Tonight it’s Batista vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley for next week’s title shot.

Vito vs. William Regal

Vito has a fur wrap to go with the dress. Regal hammers away in the corner as Cole says Vito and Regal shared a shower at No Mercy. They’re out on the floor in a hurry where Regal kicks him in the face, much to JBL’s delight. Back in and Vito fights out of a full nelson so Regal settles for a half nelson suplex instead.

A crossface has Vito bailing to the rope as JBL continues to take every shot he can at Vito. Regal gets kicked in the face so Vito can pull the dress up, only to miss a top rope elbow. As JBL complains about the closeups of Vito and the far shots of Michelle McCool, Vito sits down on a sunset flip attempt for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if it is a good or bad thing that Vito is being moved up the ladder but it’s better than having him do the same things over and over again. This time he’s doing the same things against better opponents, or at least opponents who can play off of the comedy a bit better. JBL’s rants would not fly today, but they are still fairly funny, just for how much he freaks out every time.

Bobby Lashley is ready for the triple threat tonight and loves the pressure.

Here is MVP to say there is no competition for him here. He beat a world renowned fighting machine at No Mercy and the fans call him a Power Ranger (MVP: “That’s cool.”). MVP wants an opponent who will make him break a sweat tonight so here’s Teddy Long to introduce said opponent.

MVP vs. Kane

This is Kane’s Smackdown debut after losing a Loser Leaves Raw match. MVP stretches a lot and JBL yells at him to get on with it already. Kane hammers on him before the bell and beats him so badly that MVP bails, meaning no match. JBL getting on MVP is a different way to go and I kind of like it.

John Cena trained with some Marines and it was hard.

Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio

Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to watch and we are joined in progress after a break. Jamie knocks him down in the corner as the EDDIE chants are out in full again. Some forearms and knees to the face set up a chinlock on Rey as the chants switch to 619. Back up and Rey counters a sunset flip into a kick to the head and nails a Lionsault for two. The hurricanrana out of the corner sets up the springboard seated senton but Noble is back with a rollup for two of his own. Not that it matters as Rey hits the 619 and Drops The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C. These two are going to have a good match against almost anyone and they were fine here. It was clear that they were just setting up whatever was going to take place after the match with Chavo but they didn’t fly through it for the sake of getting to the angle. Noble continues to be a good hand in a tag team or on his own and that is a good thing to have on the roster.

Post match Chavo mockingly praises Rey’s win but blames Rey for bringing him out of retirement. These two cannot survive on Smackdown so let’s have an I Quit match next week. Rey isn’t sure as he has already beaten Chavo twice. Vickie questions Rey’s manhood so the match is on.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. KC James/Idol Stevens/Sylvan

Ashley and Michelle McCool are here too. Kendrick and Sylvan start things off but everything breaks down in a hurry with London and Kendrick hitting the stereo dives to the floor. Back in and Sylvan blasts Kendrick with a clothesline as JBL talks about McCool holding a yard stick. Everything breaks down in a hurry with London diving onto James. That leaves Yang to hit a moonsault press to finish Sylvan.

Rating: C+. This was a rather short match but it was all action, as you might have expected from most of the people involved. London and Kendrick can work well with anyone but they need some fresh opponents after beating the Pitbulls and James/Stevens over and over. I’m not sure who that is going to be, but it’s nice to have such skilled champions.

Raw Rebound.

Finlay doesn’t like Cole suggesting he might not win tonight. He’ll win tonight and become World Champion next week.

Batista promises to win too.

Batista vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

The winner gets a shot at King Booker, on commentary here, next week. Finlay doesn’t like being left out of the early staredown so they both deck him. That lets Batista take Lashley into the corner but Lashley whips him into the corner as well. A collision gives us a double knockdown so Finlay comes back in and sends Batista outside. Lashley is back up with some clotheslines for two, with the Leprechaun coming in for a distraction. That sends Lashley out in pursuit and we take a break.

Back with Finlay chinlocking Lashley while Batista is down after being posted while we were away. Batista gets back in and cleans house, including a running clothesline to put Finlay on the floor. The Batista Bomb is broken up and they all head outside with Batista loading up the announcers’ table. Finlay and Lashley jump Batista in a smart move and then put him through the table in a smarter one.

Booker is VERY pleased by this as Finlay (Booker: “He’s a turncoat!”) clotheslines Lashley down for two. Lashley is back with some shots to the ribs but Batista makes the save. Finlay beats Batista up on the floor again, including a good looking kick to the face. Batista is back up with a spear to Lashley, leaving Finlay to take the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb (Booker: “NO!!!!!!”) for the pin.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t a ton of doubt on the ending here as Batista vs. Booker is the big showdown that needs to happen again. The good thing here though is the other two are more than capable of having a power match like this and they all beat each other up rather well. Throw in Booker’s hilarious panicking on commentary and they had a nice match here.

Booker is told that Big Show and John Cena will be here for the title match next week. The champ is rather upset to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They kept the show moving here and it was one of their better ones in a bit. It felt like everything mattered here (some more than others) or at least had the energy to make it seem like it mattered. This was a nice way to build off of the pay per view, though it could be a while before we get to anything important with Cyber Sunday being the next big Raw show. At least they have a title match set for next week and then the Champion of Champion match as a bonus. Rather solid show here.

 

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Monday Night Raw – October 9, 2006 (Raw Family Reunion): They Actually Did It

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 9, 2006
Location: Columbia Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a special three hour show this week with Raw Family Reunion. A bunch of people who have not appeared in a long time will be back and that could make for some interesting moments. We are also in for the start of some new stories as John Cena finally vanquished Edge for good last week inside a cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

New opening sequence, featuring To Be Loved by Papa Roach. I always liked that one.

All of the commentators welcome us to the show, which does give it the pay per view feeling.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. He’s hyped up to be here on this special edition of the show, which is also the 698th episode. Before he gets going though, he has a message for Edge, after the chairs, the cages, the violence and the carnage, the champ is still here. Cue King Booker and Queen Sharmell from Smackdown with Booker bragging about how he retained the title in a four way last night at No Mercy. He also brings up his last appearance on Raw, when he made Cena kiss his feet.

Cena does a better British accent and talks about coming to Smackdown where he beat Booker’s team in a six man. The fight is almost on but here’s Big Show to say he’s the Champion Of Champions. Show: “You’ve got a white guy who talks like he’s black.” Show: “What you talking about Willis?” Show says Booker is a black guy who talks like Prince Charles so Cena calls him the Michelin Man. Cena doesn’t think much of Show calling himself the most dominant giant ever. Cena: “There’s another giant. Andre, The. Look it up.”

Show says he’s heard that before and if Andre was here, Show would beat him up too (that sounds so wrong). Booker asks what the point is and then they argue over whose movie was best, with Show bringing up the Waterboy. Booker talks about being in Ready to Rumble and….the other two crack up laughing (I mean…..ok yeah it was that bad). Cena thinks they should figure out who the best is and hammers on Show, who clears the ring in a hurry.

Teddy Long, Paul Heyman and Jonathan Coachman (the bosses) argue in the back over what we just saw. Three matches are made for later: Show vs. Jeff Hardy, Booker vs. Rob Van Dam and Cena vs. Undertaker. Well that just escalated.

Umaga vs. Kane

Armando Alejandro Estrada (carrying a long wooden stick) is here with Umaga and the loser leaves Raw. Kane slugs away to start but Umaga hammers him into the corner. Umaga misses a charge into the corner though and eats an elbow, only to knock Kane outside in a hurry. We take a break and come back with the running hip attack being cut off with a grab of the throat.

The chokeslam is broken up though as Umaga knocks him down and hits a top rope splash. The Samoan Spike is blocked as well and now the chokeslam connects. There’s the top rope clothesline but Estrada hits Kane with the board, setting up the Samoan Spike to give Umaga the pin.

Rating: D+. I wouldn’t expect any long matches tonight and that is not the worst thing in the world. This was all about wrapping up their rivalry (at least for now) and it worked out well enough. Beating Kane is almost a required merit badge for a monster so at least they got it out of the way again here. Kane really needs a change of scenery anyway.

Post match Kane gets the big sendoff round of applause.

South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier is here and gets an introduction from Lilian Garcia.

Kane goes to leave but the Highlanders stop him to say it was an honor to be here with him. The beating doesn’t take long and Kane walks out.

DX has to give a formal apology for everything they did last week when they ran the show, which apparently they weren’t allowed to do. HHH doesn’t let Shawn finish any of them though because none of them were their fault. Shawn apologizes for beating Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch in a street fight, but that isn’t until later this evening. They realize they’re live so it’s time for a quick merchandise plug. These things are horribly corny but they make me chuckle.

Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Hardy hammers away to start as Tazz actually mentions that Show is from South Carolina in the kind of trivia that most commentators wouldn’t think to include. Show shrugs everything off and slams Hardy down, only to miss the Vader Bomb elbow. The Twist of Fate is countered but Jeff manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope.

The Whisper in the Wind sets up the Swanton for two, only to have Show grab the cobra clutch backbreaker (dubbed the Big Sleep). Now it’s the chokeslam for the pin. Too short to rate, but Joey citing the Hardcore Title as proof that Hardy was extreme was funny. They really didn’t have anyone from Raw other than the new Intercontinental Champion though? Like, Carlito wasn’t available?

Post match Johnny Nitro runs in to beat on Hardy but gets laid out by Show as well.

The Marine trailer.

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Street fight, but first, HHH has to say Vince isn’t here because he can’t find one big enough in South Carolina. HHH mentions Cocky, the University of South Carolina mascot, who appears on the screen. He isn’t here though, because apparently he has representation. Fans: “GAME! COCKS!” HHH: “No no. I’m the Game, he’s the cock.” HHH makes every joke about the name you can imagine and Shawn looks ready to bite through his lip.

Anyway, the match starts fast with HHH being sent outside, where he sends Cade face first into the announcers’ table. A double whip sends HHH into the steps and an atomic drop into a running big boot to the face drops Shawn. The whipping is on, which makes things a lot more difficult as Shawn and Cade look a good bit alike here. HHH comes back with the chair and Cade is busted open off a shot to the head. The table is set up at ringside and Shawn elbows Murdoch through it in a hurry. Back in and the superkick into the Pedigree finishes Cade.

Rating: C+. This was short and the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt but it was intense while it lasted. DX needed to break a bit of a sweat and while Cade and Murdoch aren’t the biggest opponents, so this was a nice little surprise. At least they got violent in a street fight, which isn’t the case often enough in these things.

In the back, Edge blames DX for costing him the World Title last week. Tonight, it’s the Cutting Edge.

We look back at Kane losing.

Here’s Shelton Benjamin to say this is almost his hometown so he isn’t leaving without some competition from any brand.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit takes him into the corner to start but Benjamin manages a quick shot to escape. A drop onto the ropes sets up the chinlock but Benoit fights up with the running forearm to the head. The German suplex connects on Benjamin, though the Swan Dive only connects with the mat. Not that it matters as Benoit grabs the Crossface for the fast win.

Paul Heyman tries to give ECW credit for Benoit but Teddy Long isn’t having it. Coach brings in Super Crazy and asks which brand is the best. All three try to get Crazy to say their brand is the best but the only thing Crazy can do is say all three brands are great. Long: “YOU SPEAK ENGLISH???” Crazy: “Si.” The bosses are all stunned.

Chavo Guerrero/William Regal/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley/Rey Mysterio

Chavo starts with Rey and is quickly hurricanranaed out to the floor. Finlay and Regal have to bail to the floor to avoid a double 619 and the big brawl is on as we take a fast break. Back with Cole telling us not to adjust our sets because this is indeed Raw. Has anyone in the world ever thought they were on the wrong channel (or night in this case) and actually adjusted their set? Maybe turning the sharpness up and the contrast down makes it ECW?

Anyway, we’re back with Finlay hitting a shoulderbreaker on Rey so Chavo can hammer away in the corner. A big kick to the head allows Rey to bring tag Batista….but the referee doesn’t see it. The sitout bulldog plants Chavo and allows the real tag to Batista for the house cleaning. The Jackhammer gets two on Chavo as everything breaks down. Rey hits the top rope hurricanrana into the 619 into the spinebuster into the frog splash for the pin (as Lashley just gets to look on for some reason).

Rating: C. Nothing but a showcase match here and that’s all it needed to be. There is something nice about taking six of the best a show has and throwing them out there for a pretty easy night’s work and that’s all they did here. They had some star power and it keeps Chavo vs. Rey going (assuming they want to) and the fans had some fun. Not too bad.

Eric Bischoff has a book.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young get to come out to the stage for a quick wave. Nothing wrong with that.

John Cena trained with Marines at Paris Island, South Carolina.

Booker doesn’t think much of Cena and promises to dominate RVD tonight.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Melina walks up the steps and Lawler is livid about the lack of splits entrance. Actually we’ll make this a lumberjack match, with the Extreme Strip Poker participants at ringside. They both get sent outside to start and then get sent back inside because yes, this is a lumberjack match. Back in and they slug it out until Torrie gets two off a suplex. A Kristal distraction lets Melina grab a rollup with trunks to win.

Post match Torrie gives Kristal a Stink Face.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference. Edge is WWE Champion here so this is a bit out of date.

King Booker vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Booker misses a kick to the face to start and gets rolled up for two as JBL and Tazz bicker about announcing prowess. Van Dam gets sent shoulder first into the post and Booker hits the hook kick to the face as the arguing continues. Cole: “I’M BEGGING ANYBODY TO LET ME CALL A NEAR FALL!” Van Dam fights up and elbows Booker in the face but Sharmell crotches him on top, allowing Booker to hit a spinning kick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another short match but they did what they were supposed to do. Just let them get in and out while keeping Van Dam protected. It’s not like the champions are likely to lose here and they didn’t waste time trying to make us believe otherwise. These two can have a better match if they are given the chance, but that wasn’t the point here.

Cryme Tyme debuts next week.

The Spirit Squad’s Mitch admits that he sucks but he’ll beat Ric Flair tonight because Flair has no friends.

Vince McMahon returns to interrupt the bosses and has an idea: a triple threat Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion match at Cyber Sunday with the fans voting on who gets to defend their title. Yeah they like the plan.

Clip of the Marine premiere at Camp Pendleton.

Mitch vs. Ric Flair

The Spirit Squad is here so Ric brings out Roddy Piper, Arn Anderson, Ted DiBiase and IRS. That’s a collection of great legends and IRS! If nothing else the Horsemen theme is great to hear every time. The Squad runs off in fear and Flair shrugs off the forearms to the back, setting up the Figure Four for the win in less than a minute.

Here are Edge and Lita for the Cutting Edge. They don’t waste time and bring out Randy Orton in the guest. Edge talks about how Orton impressed him two years ago when he won the World Title but since then, he has done absolutely nothing. Orton doesn’t like that and it’s even worse when Edge talks about all of Orton’s big losses. We see a clip of HHH throwing Orton out of Evolution and beating him down and Edge says it was all HHH ruining his career. Now history is repeating itself and HHH cost him the title last week. Someone has to stand up to DX and it should be the two of them. Hands are shaken and we have an alliance.

John Cena vs. Undertaker

Non-title again. They circle each other to start until Cena hammers away in the corner, only to get tossed into the corner so Undertaker can show him how it’s done. Old School is countered though and it’s a superplex to give Cena two. Undertaker grabs the bearhug but Cena is out in a hurry for the flying shoulder. A running DDT gives Cena two and the sit up freaks him out. The FU is countered and Undertaker hits the chokeslam but here are Big Show and Booker to jump Undertaker.

Rating: C. Another match that didn’t matter much but the atmosphere was certainly there. You don’t see two actual titans of WWE going at it very often and while Cena was still climbing, he was the top star in the company here and putting him in the ring with Undertaker feels important. There was no one anyone was taking a pin here so for once, the run in was the perfect call.

Post match Mr. Kennedy comes in after Undertaker as well and the two of them go up the ramp. The champs are left alone and Cena drops Booker, setting up the STFU on Show. An FU plants Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As you can probably guess, this wasn’t about the wrestling itself and for once it wasn’t even about the legends. This was about making people care about all three brands on one night and putting a new coat of paint on Raw (or at least giving it a new theme song). That worked out well and it felt like an important show without anything that dragged the show down. It’s not a masterpiece but it felt energized and I had fun, which is the point of a big special like this. Nice show and they did well when they were trying to.

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Monday Night Raw – September 25, 2006: Kind Of Nice For A Change

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 25, 2006
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still starting of the new John Cena Era and that seems to include one last gasp from Edge, but I can’t imagine him sticking around in the main event scene that much longer. You also have to imagine that the McMahons are going to be back sooner rather than later, because that’s how Raw works. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

And the power is out, meaning the commentary intro is in the dark.

Lilian Garcia’s intro can’t be heard and there is no video screen or graphics.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Lita vs. Candice Michelle

Lilian’s mic is back up to announce that we’re having a Women’s Title tournament. Lita’s video is at least playing on the screen above the ring. Before the bell, Lita gets a mic and says that thanks to a private meeting with Jonathan Coachman, she gets to pick the guest referee for this match. It’s Edge and, after a rather extensive weapons shirt, he spears Candice to give Lita the pin in about thirty seconds.

Post match (and actually mid match) John Cena runs in for the save as the lights start to come back up a bit.

Back from a break with the power on and Cena talking about Edge sabotaging the lights so he wouldn’t have to face him. Edge and Lita come back out and say that there isn’t going to be a title match tonight. They are going to celebrate, sending Cena into a few jokes about Lita being….yeah I think you get the joke. Cena suggests that various parts of her are as red as the Oklahoma University end zone and says that was for JR (who gives a thumbs up. Lita: “SCREW YOU!” Cena: “I don’t have ten bucks!”

Lita is sick of Cena making fun of her when Cena is the real joke. Edge and Lita are both better wrestlers than him, which Cena says is proof that she has the testicles in the relationship. And yeah, she might be better….if he was blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back (uh oh) and wasn’t afraid of a scorching case of herpes. Edge is ready to fight right now but it’s for Lita, with Cena’s arm tied behind his back.

Footage of the Mexico tour.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Kane jumps him during the rather long entrance and a side slam lets Nitro get the fur coat off. Melina’s distraction lets Nitro hit a chop block but Kane boots him out of the air. Cue Umaga with a chair to Kane’s back for the DQ barely a minute in.

Post match Umaga destroys Kane with the running hip attack and the steps to the head.

Shawn Michaels is readying the WWE Magazine but can’t find any advertisements for DX gear. After the plug is done, Maria comes up to ask DX about their gauntlet match tonight. Maria thinks their catchphrase is NO WAY so HHH offers a demonstration, with Shawn pulling him away. Instead HHH whispers it in her ear before leaving, with Eugene replacing them. Maria whispers the same thing in Eugene’s ear and he faints.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant vs. Gorilla Monsoon in a boxing match in Puerto Rico in 1977. Monsoon’s selling of the knockout is great.

Jonathan Coachman talks to Shelton Benjamin about his claims of being held down for being a black man last week. Vince McMahon’s hero is Dr. Martin Luther King! Benjamin: “I’m kind of partial to Michael Jordan myself.” Benjamin asks Coach what he knows about being a black man in this business and says Coach is “whitewashed.”

Jeff Hardy comes up with some of the most stereotypical slang you’ll ever hear (Cryme Tyme would think it was over the top) so Coach makes a match between them tonight. Benjamin: “Thanks, brother.” The two of them leave so Edge and Lita come out of Coach’s office and the Cena vs. Lita match is made. Coach even throws in a No Holds Barred stipulation, but if Edge touches Cena, he loses hit rematch. When did Coach grow a backbone?

Ric Flair vs. Mikey

The rest of the Spirit Squad is here too. Flair takes him down to start without much effort and unloads in the corner. Mikey snaps off a dropkick and slaps Flair in the corner, earning himself various shots to the face and chest. A shot to the knee looks to set up the Figure Four but Flair has to throw Nicky onto the rest of the Squad. Flair punches Mikey down for the pin. Yeah off a right hand.

Rating: D+. This mini feud continues and I’m oddly fine with a right hand beating Mikey. No matter how you look at the them, aside from Kenny, the entire Spirit Squad is a bunch of goons who only succeed at anything because they have a numbers advantage. Losing to a right hand might be a bit much, but I don’t think Mikey getting pinned by Ric Flair is going to end him.

John Cena was on MadTV.

D-Generation X vs. ???/???/???

DX is running a three team gauntlet and dedicate it to Vince McMahon. He isn’t here though, and they have a video on the Cell to explain his absence. The Highlanders are in first and lose in about fifteen seconds to a superkick. Robbie gets Pedigreed for a bonus and it’s Charlie Haas/Viscera as the second team. HHH runs Haas over to start and Shawn comes in to chop away in the corner. It’s off to Viscera, who gets crushed with a sidewalk slam and we take a break.

Back with Haas cranking on Shawn’s arms but he fights up and sends the villains into each other. The hot tag brings in HHH to clean house and a double clothesline drops Viscera. The Pedigree to Haas lays him out and a superkick knocks Viscera onto him for the double pin. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are in as the third team and a cheap shot to Michaels’ back puts him in trouble, allowing Cade to blast him with a clothesline. Everything breaks down in a hurry with DX being sent into various hard objects. Cade grabs a chair to knock Shawn down for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The longest match we saw was the middle portion, which was cut in half by the break. I’m not sure how this was supposed to be anything more than a workout for DX, but at least they didn’t treat it as anything else. This felt more like DX needing a reason to be on the show and until a new team is built up, that’s about as all as you can do with them.

Post match HHH grabs his own chair to clear the ring.

In two weeks: Family Reunion, a three hour special. Oh…yay.

Cryme Tyme robs a guy near an ATM.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks him down to start and then does it again for a bonus. A running forearm puts Shelton down for a change but he’s back with right hands and a bit one knocks Hardy into the barricade. Back in the chinlock goes on until hardy jawbreaks his way to freedom. The Whisper in the Wind connects but Shelton jumps up to the top, only to get shoved down for the Swanton. Shelton gets a boot on the rope and grabs the rope to block the Twist of Fate. That’s fine with Jeff, who small packages him for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. I have no idea what WWE is doing with these two and the segment with Hardy earlier was a little more than uncomfortable. At the same time, Shelton finding another way to lose is never a good thing despite how many times WWE has done it. I’ve given up on the false hope of him doing anything important anytime soon, but the racial stuff could get rather bad in a hurry.

John Cena has a wife in the Marina.

Carlito/Super Crazy vs. Randy Orton/Chris Masters

Carlito takes Masters down for an early near fall and it’s off to Crazy, who is powerbombed down in a hurry. Orton comes in and slaps on a chinlock, which is broken up in a hurry for the hot tag off to Carlito. House is cleaned and everything breaks down but Masters avoids Crazy’s moonsault. With Crazy sent outside, Masters tries the Masterlock on Carlito but gets reversed into the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to this one but it gives Carlito a quick boost to help him up after the Unforgiven loss. There are only so many things that you can do when the match was so definitive but at least they’re trying. The Super Crazy push is still a little odd, though at least they’re trying something new and that’s not a terrible idea.

Post match Orton catches Carlito with the RKO to leave him laying.

Here’s Jonathan Coachman for a chat and he has a surprise: Eric Bischoff of all people, who has not been here since he was fired last year. Bischoff is happy to be back and while he isn’t thrilled with being fired, he has written a book called Controversy Creates Cash. He’s telling the truth in the book, including the fact that Raw would not exist in this form without him and there would be no DX without the NWO. And then the music plays him off because that’s a little too far.

John Cena vs. Lita

Non-title, Cena’s arm is tied behind his back and Edge is here but can’t touch Cena. Lita pokes him in the eye and gets low blowed but the FU finishes her in less than a minute.

Post match here are King Booker, Finlay and William Regal from Smackdown (where Cena will be appearing in a six man tag later this week) for the big beatdown. Finlay gets in some Shillelagh shots and Booker takes off his boot because it’s time for Cena kiss the feet. JR: “WHEN DID BOOKER GET AN ENGLISH ACCENT???” Booker sits on the ropes as the beatdown knocks Cena out and his face is put onto Booker’s bare foot. Booker twirls in the robe before leaving, so Edge grabs a mic. The rematch for the title is next week and it’s inside a cage.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird show as there was one match which broke five minutes and it was a three fall gauntlet match. I’m not sure if they were a little spent after the international tour or whatever else but I did like the show flew by with a lot of things getting some time. Granted not everything needed to get time (like that Hardy/Shelton segment) but I did like the structure they were going with here. It wouldn’t work every week, though it worked rather well for a one off change.

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Monday Night Raw – September 18, 2006: And Then We Breathe

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 18, 2006
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Unforgiven has come and gone and the big story is John Cena winning the WWE Title from Edge in a pretty good TLC match. Other than that, DX defeated the McMahons and Big Show in what felt like the big blowoff to their feud but you never can tell around here. I’m curious as to where things go as we have a long time before the next Raw pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going and the booing is on before Lilian Garcia even finishes saying his name. After smiling at the booing, Cena says this is absolute chaos. The booing cuts him off again before Cena manages to say he was hit in the head a bunch of times last night and he can’t even remember what day it. Wait. It’s becoming clear now. The champ is here.

More booing makes Cena say that he knows there is a bit of unrest in the Force but Cena has been going through a lot in recent months. Like 3000 spears, 2000 sneak attacks, 1000 shots to the head, 1000 jokes involving Lita and head, and now we’re finally done. Cue Edge and Lita, with the former saying he has a rematch clause.

Cena says he respected Edge for the fight he put up last night and, after a CENA SUCKS chant, Cena says Edge has two options. He can have a one man live sex celebration and go screw himself, or have some backbone and cash in his rematch right now. Edge says this isn’t Canada because this is Canada’s inbred cousin, Montreal. He goes into a rant about how he survived last night and never gave up like the people in this arena would do.

Edge is going to take the title back, but not here in front of these people. The fans suddenly like the idea of Cena beating Edge up but Edge snaps, talking about everything Cena took from him last night. Edge wants revenge so here are Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the beatdown, with Edge talking about how they beat up DX last week. Cue DX, with Edge leaving Cade and Murdoch to get beaten down. Coach, six man tag.

Post break, Coach has secured a room where wrestlers can send Vince McMahon well wishes after last night. Shelton Benjamin is up first and he isn’t sure why he wasn’t Vince’s partner last night. Shelton: “It’s because I’m black isn’t it?” Coach shuffles him off as Shelton asks why he can’t talk about Affirmative Action.

Umaga vs. Kane

Rematch from last night. Lawler: “I’m surprised they’re not still fighting. Well they’re going to be still fighting!” Umaga wastes no time in suplexing him down but the referee intercepts a chair from Armando Alejandro Estrada. The referee gets crushed so Umaga uses the chair for two on Kane as a second referee comes in. We take a break and come back with Umaga hitting a Samoa drop but Kane hits a flying shoulder. Umaga’s throat is snapped across the top rope but he knocks a chair out of Kane’s hands this time. Kane avoids a charge though and hits a top rope clothesline. That’s not enough so Kane chairs him in the head for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was better than last night as Kane put up a much better fight rather than getting beaten up for most of the match. They’re likely setting up some kind of a gimmick match down the line, but I’d assume it is going to be on a big Raw rather than the next pay per view. I’m not sure I can imagine this feud having the legs to go two more months but they have surprised me before.

Post match Kane hits him two more times to finally put Umaga down. Kane kidnaps Estrada and takes him to the back.

Post break, Kane is ready to do something with a large spike but Umaga makes the save. Umaga and Estrada leave, allowing Kane to do what he does when villains leave him alone.

Maria things Vince is Jim McMahon, former Chicago Bears quarterback. Cue the Spirit Squad with the air horn to challenge Ric Flair to a match and cheer for Vince.

Ric Flair vs. Johnny

The rest of the Squad stays on the stage for a change. Johnny hammers away in the corner to start but gets chopped against the ropes for his efforts. They go outside with Johnny managing a backdrop and hammering away back inside. That means more chops and a chop block to Flair for a change, setting up the Figure Four. Naturally Flair knows how to get out of that in a hurry and hits his own chop block. Flair tries the Figure Four but gets reversed into a small package, which is reversed into another small package to give Flair the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t meant to be anything but they might be setting up something bigger in the future. Flair beating one of the members of the Spirit Squad isn’t going to hurt them so this isn’t exactly worth being annoyed over. At least they got in and out in a hurry, because there wasn’t much of a need to do anything more than this.

Lita wants to talk to Vince about the Women’s Title but here’s Mickie James to come in and makes jokes about Lita’s prowess with men. A slap ensues and odds are we’ll revisit this later.

We recap the brawl to set up the main event.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. Orton says that last night was rough, because he needed stitches in his mouth but still won his match. He is the future of WWE….but here are Johnny Nitro and Melina to interrupt. Nitro calls himself the future of the industry and he has a message for everyone who finds him boring, and he holds up the title. It’s not like Orton has a title of his own, and that’s because Orton has been coasting on his title for years. Orton says he can take the title and Melina anytime he wants.

Cue Chris Masters to say he should be the Intercontinental Champion because no one breaks the Masterlock. Nitro and Orton break up laughing because Masters has lost two weeks in a row to “a guy who should be busing tables.” Cue Carlito to say Orton did win last night and the brawl is on. Super Crazy and then Jeff Hardy run in to join the brawl so Coach makes a Six Pack Challenge for the title. Nitro panics.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy vs. Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Nitro is defending and it’s one fall to a finish with no tags. Joined in progress with everyone brawling in the corners and a few near falls without much drama. Crazy breaks up Nitro’s cover on Hardy and the rapid fire saves begin. Carlito hits a springboard moonsault to Masters for two with Nitro making a save.

Nitro gets knocked down and we hit probably the fifteenth cover in about three minutes with several saves being made. Everyone but Crazy goes to the floor but Nitro pulls him outside and tries a big dive, only to get caught. Crazy hits his own big moonsault to the floor and we take a break.

Back with everyone brawling some more and even more near falls. Carlito hammers on Nitro in the corner but hits a spinning crossbody for two on Orton. There’s a Downward Spiral to give Carlito two on Nitro but Jeff starts to clean house. Orton, Hardy and Nitro are left alone in the ring and we hit the parade of finishers. Hardy shoves Crazy off the top and nails the Swanton on Masters but Nitro steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how to rate this as there wasn’t much of a flow to it as the whole thing was built around one near fall after another. There were probably two dozen covers that were shown, not even including the stuff that probably took place during the break. It did do a nice job of building up the drama though and that’s a nice way to make Nitro look like a bigger deal, even if he just stole the pin to retain.

Smackdown Rebound.

Cryme Tyme steals a guy’s van after he dares to ask them for directions to the country club.

Coach is ready for some more messages to Vince but DX comes in. They talk about having Stockholm Syndrome but they’re glad it’s over. We get a video on the feud, focusing on Vince being humiliated. DX is sprayed on the camera to wrap things up.

Candice Michelle vs. Lita

Lita sends her into the corner to start as the fans REALLY don’t like Lita so far. Candice comes back with some bad right hands and Lita is knocked outside. That earns Candice a trip to the floor and a ram into the apron, meaning Lita can smile a lot as they head inside again. The chinlock goes on and Lita cuts off the comeback by pulling her down by the hair. There’s a Russian legsweep for two and Lita shoves her in the face a few times. The moonsault is loaded up but here’s Mickie James for a distraction, allowing Candice to hit a powerbomb out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here but I think you know where they’re going for the next big (work with me here) women’s feud. The women’s division is already feeling the lack of Trish Stratus, as you can only do so much with a division that only has about three members and then one of them leaves. Candice is a long way off from being ready to take a top spot, but she seems a bit further along than a few others.

Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch remind Edge that they are fresh after last night and are ready for the main event. Edge likes that kind of thinking.

Edge/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. John Cena/D-Generation X

Lita is here too. The brawl is on in a hurry with the bad guys being cleared out without much effort. We settle down to Cena shouldering Cade down and mocking Edge on the apron. Shawn comes in but gets caught with an atomic drop from Cade and a running big boot from Murdoch to take over.

The chops don’t do Shawn much good as Murdoch runs him over for another near fall. Edge comes in to grab the chinlock and Murdoch adds a big elbow for two. The front facelock doesn’t last long and the hot tag brings in HHH to clean house. Everything breaks down and HHH cuts off Edge’s chair shot with a spinebuster. Shawn picks up the chair and cleans house for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Totally run of the mill main event six man tag with a bit of a surprise ending. The wrestling was fine and the ending gives us a reason to come back to more of this later on. I’m not sure where that leads, but a mini feud of some sort between these guys could give us a nice bridge towards the October pay per view.

Post match Cade and Murdoch are cleared out so Edge gets beaten up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was just a placeholder show after the pretty big pay per view. There was no reason to do anything more than an easy night here as Raw has spent the last month or so setting everything up for Unforgiven so this worked as well as anything else. Nothing you needed to see, but at least it worked out well enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Unforgiven 2006 (2021 Redo): One Out Of Three Works In Baseball And Wrestling

Unforgiven 2006
Date: September 17, 2006
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,105
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can’t believe it but I’m actually looking forward to this show as it has a stacked card. We have a double main event of John Cena challenging Edge for the WWE Title in a TLC match, plus DX vs. the McMahons/Big Show inside the Cell. Throw in Trish Stratus’ retirement match and you have a heck of a show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the double main event while talking about how the thirst for revenge can be unquenchable. Makes perfect sense.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro is defending and has Melina in his corner. Feeling out process to start and we pause for a NITRO SUCKS chant. Neither can get a hiptoss so Hardy armdrags him into an armbar for a change. That works so well that Hardy does it again but this time Nitro is up with a forearm into the corner. Cue Melina screaming, which is likely to be a theme throughout the match. Jeff takes him down for the legdrop between the legs to send Nitro outside, followed by right hands in the corner back inside.

There’s the slingshot dropkick but it’s way too early to try the Swanton. Instead Hardy baseball slides him to the floor but Nitro catches him with a dropkick on the way back inside. Nitro starts working on the knee by driving it into the mat and hitting a hard kick (cue the scream). Some cranking on the knee ensues with a modified Indian Deathlock, followed by a chop block. As commentary tries to figure out where Pat Patterson is at the moment, Morrison misses a corkscrew moonsault, allowing Hardy to grab a rollup for two.

JR has to cut Lawler off from talking about Melina’s moist looking skin as Hardy knocks Nitro off the top. The Swanton bangs up the knee though and it’s a pretty delayed two. Nitro starts cranking on the leg again but Melina gets on the apron for no apparent reason. That means a big crash as Hardy kicks Nitro into her, meaning a rollup gets a near fall. Melina pops up with her boot off and knocks Hardy silly so Nitro can retain.

Rating: B-. This got some extended time and it was a good choice for an opener. They did their thing until the ending, which was a bit off but served as a fine way to keep the title on Nitro. There is nothing wrong with sending two young(ish) guys out there and having them put on a good match to start things off and that is exactly what they did here.

Teddy Long is here in case John Cena loses and has to go to Smackdown.

Matt Hardy comes up to Jeff Hardy in the back and tells him good job. Lita comes in for the Team Xtreme reunion but mocks both of them for not being champions.

Umaga vs. Kane

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga and hypes up Umaga before the match. Kane slugs away to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry with Umaga getting the better of things. Back in and the running headbutt keeps Kane in trouble, followed by the running Umaga Attack in the corner to make it worse.

Kane comes back with his own right hands but charges into the Samoan drop to cut that off. It’s time for the middle rope thumb to the throat but Kane sits up to avoid it, giving us a great shocked look from Estrada. Some headbutts rock Umaga and Kane suplexes him out to the floor. There’s a clothesline over the barricade and they brawl into the crowd for the double countout to continue the feud.

Rating: C-. There’s nothing wrong with a power brawl and Umaga kept looking good, though the ending didn’t exactly make me want to see them keep fighting. Umaga dominated most of the match and while what we got was acceptable enough, there was only so much that you could get out of a seven minute match which ended in a bridge to the next match.

Post match they fight onto the stage and then…..into the back, drawing a rather negative reaction from the fans.

Vince and Shane McMahon fire each other up and insult Canada.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

Kenny and Mikey are defending for the Squad. Rory sunset flips Mikey for an early two and it’s already time to slow down a bit. Mikey’s head is sent into Robbie’s in the corner and the Highlanders start taking turns on his arm. Kenny comes in and gets backdropped in a hurry so the Highlanders can take over on him as well. Some slingshot knees connect in the corner and Rory does exactly the same for two.

That’s enough for Kenny to bring Mikey back in so Rory ax handles him in the chest. A dropkick puts Mikey on the floor but Robbie’s dive completely misses. Back in and a running clothesline takes Robbie down as the champs take over. Kenny grabs the chinlock before handing it off to Mikey for the front facelock.

Something like Poetry In Motion misses but Kenny is smart enough to knock Rory off the apron to break up the hot tag. That means another chinlock but the guillotine legdrop only hits mat. The hot tag brings in Rory to clean house and Kenny is tossed over the top onto some more of the Squad. Everything breaks down and Johnny gets in the Johnny Go Round from behind to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. This could have been on almost any given edition of Raw and that’s all it was supposed to be. It’s not like the Highlanders, or any team at the moment, means much at the moment so it makes sense to have such an average match. Raw’s tag division has never been the strongest, but Smackdown is absolutely smashing it by comparison at the moment.

We get the long recap of D-Generation X vs. the McMahons/Big Show inside the Cell. Vince McMahon wouldn’t shut up about Montreal so he got in a war with Shawn, who eventually got HHH to join him against Vince and his cronies. Shane McMahon got involved as well so DX beat the two of them without much effort, meaning it was time to up the stakes. Vince hired Big Show and a few other goons, so it’s time to put them in the Cell.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Big Show

Inside the Cell. DX gets smart by kicking Show low before the bell and the fight is on in a hurry. Shawn sends Shane out to the floor and there’s another double low blow to keep Show down. Shane gets catapulted face first into the Cell so Shawn unloads on him as HHH hammers Vince in the face. We have our first blood as Shane’s bloody forehead is sent into the Cell again.

Vince is loaded up for the top rope elbow but Show is up to take care of DX in a hurry. HHH manages to send Show into the steps and drops a knee on Vince’s head but Shane is back to clothesline Shawn outside. Vince is busted as well as Show chokeslams HHH and then sends Shawn face first into the Cell on the floor. Shawn gets lawn darted into the Cell to make it worse, leaving HHH to get hit with Shane’s Coast To Coast.

HHH’s earn injury from Raw is busted open again, leaving Show as the only one not bleeding. HHH gets catapulted into the Cell so Show hits the cobra clutch backbreaker on Shawn. Vince covers but picks him up ta two, allowing HHH to come back in and clean house. Shane is back up with a torture rack neckbreaker (where did he learn that) to HHH. It’s Shawn back up with an enziguri to knock Shane to the floor….but Vince is taking his pants down.

That’s broken up by HHH but Show takes over again. Show’s splash hits Vince by mistake though and there’s a low blow to cut the big man down again. Some chairs are brought in with HHH wrapping one around Shane’s neck for a top rope elbow from Shawn. Show makes another save and brings in the steps but HHH gets in a chair shot. That sends Show into the steps and a superkick puts him over the top rope. As in draped over the top rope, so DX pulls his shorts down. Vince goes face first into it, setting up Sweet Chin Music and a sledgehammer broken over the back finally finishes Vince off.

Rating: B+. I was surprised at the lack of any interference, leaving this as two people having to fight off three and looking like they came through a war in the process. This felt like what they billed it up as and that’s a great thing to see. I had a good time with the match and it should finish up the DX vs. McMahons war because there is nothing left for the two sides to do to each other. Heck of a fight here and even the Vince face shot made sense in the context.

The McMahons are taken out on stretchers.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita for Lita’s Women’s Title, but it is also Trish’s retirement match. Therefore, we get a nice video package on her career (at least once she became a wrestler), during which she really did become one of the most important female wrestlers ever. Lita found out about the retirement though and leaked the news to WWE.com, sending Trish over the edge. Now it’s one last fight against her biggest rival. For the title. In her hometown.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is challenging and gets a heck of a hometown pop. We get a THANK YOU TRISH chant to start and there’s the spinning headscissors to put Lita on the floor. The Thesz press of the apron hits Lita and there’s an anklescissors off the steps. Back in and Lita starts choking a bit and hits the chinlock to keep Trish down. That works for all of five seconds so Lita uses the evil by pulling her down by the hair.

Trish comes back with a few kicks to the ribs but charges into an elbow in the corner. Lita goes up so Trish follows her for a slugout, only to have both of them fall out to the floor in a crash. Back in and Lita misses the moonsault to give Trish two but Stratusfaction is countered with a shove over the top and outside again. Back in and Lita snaps off a suplex for two, setting up some more kneedrops.

A few right hands have Lita staggered though and dang the fans are into every single thing Trish does here. Lita kicks her down again though and we hit another chinlock but this time Trish fights up for the slugout. This time the Stratusphere pulls Lita off the top and the Chick Kick gets two. The Stratusfaction is blocked…so Trish switches into a Sharpshooter for the submission and the title.

Rating: C. The wrestling was absolutely not the point here and that’s fine. This was all about letting Trish have one more moment on her way out (because, again, the “time honored tradition” is nonsense) and that’s what she had here. Trish was a huge star in WWE and it was great to see her get a well deserved sendoff. Lita isn’t going to be hurt by the loss and the fans REALLY liked what they got here. Not a good match or anything, but a great moment.

Randy Orton says that was nice but no one cares about Trish’s retirement. Now watch what made him the youngest World Champion ever, right here in this building.

Carlito vs. Randy Orton

They fight over a lockup to start and Carlito spits in his face, setting up some left hands to the floor. Back in and they strike it out with Carlito knocking him down and hitting a Lionsault for two. Orton manages to snap him throat first across the top though and a dropkick puts Carlito on the floor.

They come back in with Orton hitting the always devastating Garvin Stomp, setting up the always present chinlock. Carlito fights up and hits a quick springboard elbow but walks into the backbreaker. Orton tries a suplex but Carlito flips out and grabs the Backstabber. For some reason Carlito loads up a springboard but dives right into the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another Raw level match here and there was little reason for Carlito to try that springboard other than to set up the ending. Carlito’s face turn has had lukewarm results at best so far, even after pairing him with Trish. Orton has been kind of floating around for a bit as well and I’m not sure what he is supposed to do next. This felt like a filler match and that’s not a good sign.

We recap John Cena vs. Edge in a TLC match. Cena has been chasing Edge’s Raw World Title but only has one last chance. Therefore it’s Cena’s Raw career vs. Edge’s title in Edge’s match’s hometown. Sounds like a pay per view main event worthy of a music video to me, which is why the main event gets the music video treatment here.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Tables, Ladders And Chairs, with Edge defending. Edge gets a rather nice reception but Cena is booed out of the building, which is about all you could expect. Cena grabs a headlock to start and is loudly booed again. Some shoulders put Edge down for the same reaction so he slaps Cena in the face. They start slugging it out and head to the floor with Edge’s chair shot hitting the post.

Back in and Edge hits a DDT to cut off Cena’s offense to put him onto the ropes. A few ladder shots to the head have Cena in more trouble but he avoids a charging ladder shot in the corner. Edge gets thrown into the ladder in the corner and it’s time for a table. You don’t try to suplex Edge through a table though as he powerbombs Cena through it instead. With Cena down on the floor, Edge runs up the ladder in the corner to hit a dive to take him out.

Back in and Edge can’t hit the Conchairto, instead sending Edge’s head into a chair. Then Edge gets crushed inside the ladder, setting up the STFU inside the ladder (that’s a versatile ladder). Cena then mixes things up a bit by FU’ing the ladder onto Edge and climbing up (that’s a REALLY versatile ladder) for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Another table is loaded up but Edge caves his head in with a chair and puts Cena on the table. Then he puts a table on top of Cena on top of that table.

That takes some time though and Cena shoves Edge off the top for the next crash. Back in and Cena climbs the ladder, only to have Edge climb another ladder and spear him down. Edge climbs this time, but Cena powerbombs him into the side of a standing ladder for a nasty crash. They’re back on the floor, where a hard chair shot to the head puts Edge down again. Back in again and Cena climbs the ladder, only to have Lita come in and shove it down and through a well placed table at ringside.

Edge goes up but Cena comes back in, earning himself a chair shot from Lita….which knocks Cena into the ladder to knock Edge down again. That earns Lita an FU, allowing Cena to climb again with Edge down on the floor. Edge runs back up to go after the title but Cena FU’s him through the double tables. With Edge mostly destroyed, Cena pulls down the swinging title for the win.

Rating: A-. This felt like the big blowoff to a pretty special feud as Cena beats Edge at his own game on the perfect stage. It was a violent and hard hitting match, which is all you could ask for in something like this. Cena overcame the odds and won the title back in grand fashion, with the big spot at the end being the memorable moment to make it feel all the more special.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a two match show but those two matches were awesome and that’s enough to rate this one pretty high. The opener works rather well too and there is nothing bad on the whole card. Some of the stuff was pretty clearly filler, but when almost a third of the show is made up from the two awesome main events, it makes for one of the better single brand pay per views in recent memory.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – September 11, 2006: The Wrestling Isn’t Important

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 11, 2006
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,298
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Oh yeah I think they might make this one feel special. It’s the go home show for Unforgiven and that means we need the final push forward, including a pretty big main event. This week it’s Vince McMahon vs. HHH, which should be rather special for Vince given what the Garden means to him. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a moment of silence for the 5th anniversary of 9/11. The Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lilian Garcia sings America the Beautiful, which is great as always.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Flair (in red, meaning it isn’t likely to be a good night for him) slugs away to start so Armando Alejandro Estrada gets up for a distraction. That just lets Flair hit some low blows but Umaga is up again. Flair has had it and grabs a chair for some shots to the head and the DQ.

Umaga isn’t having these chair shots to the head either so Flair grabs the steps, which are swatted away as well. A Samoan drop plants Flair on the floor so here’s Kane for the brawl. Umaga chairs Kane down but he sits up and gets sent outside. Kane picks up the steps and throws them over the top, hitting Umaga square in the face (I remember watching that live and losing it at how scary that looked). The fire sends Umaga staggering away.

Vince and Shane McMahon are outside the Garden and we see Vince’s marker on the Madison Square Garden Walk Of Fame (roped off of course).

We see a clip of Cactus Jack vs. HHH in (and out of) the Cell at No Way Out 2000. I know it’s well remembered but it’s a shame more people don’t talk about that match as much as they do thanks to the other Foley Cell match.

Here’s the New York City Pipe And Drum Corps to introduce the Highlanders……and Roddy Piper to blow the roof off the place. Piper is pleased to have been ranked as the #1 offender in WWE history in a new magazine. He introduces the Highlanders and asks which one Rory is. Rory: “This is my cousin Robbie.” Robbie: “I’m Robbie.” Roddy: “I’m Roddy!” Robbie: “I’m Robbie!” Roddy: “I’m Roddy!” Then they slap each other, which Piper says is the most fun he’s had since he beat up Mr. T.

Cue the Spirit Squad to say that everyone here is dressed like girls. Piper says that’s tough talk coming from a bunch of guys who had their testicles replaced with pom poms. The challenge for the six man tag is thrown out and you know that Piper is down for that. Granted he issued the challenge so maybe that was implied.

Roddy Piper/Highlanders vs. Spirit Squad

Joined in progress with Roddy holding Johnny’s arm so Robbie can come in off the top with an ax handle. The two Squad members on the floor offer a distraction so the ones in the match can get in a few cheap shots. Robbie fights out of Kenny’s chinlock but gets taken into the corner again anyway.

Mikey’s running knee gets two and we hit the neck crank. Kenny breaks up another comeback bid and it’s back to Johnny for a hard clothesline. The chinlock doesn’t last long again and the hot tag brings in Piper to clean house. Kenny slugs away at Piper, who quickly backdrops him out onto the floor. The Highlanders grab the double reverse slingshot suplex and Piper steals the pin.

Rating: D+. Of course the match itself wasn’t the point here and we got everything we needed here. This show is being treated like a homecoming special and Piper is one of the most famous wrestlers ever in Madison Square Garden. Go with what works to pop the crowd here and give the Highlanders a bit of a rub at the same time. Piper looked like he was having a ball out there too and that’s great to see.

Johnny Nitro and Melina don’t like Jeff Hardy saying their press conference was like watching paint dry. Melina doesn’t think much of Mick Foley talking about things that happened twelve years ago but hang on because Hardy is painting. Said painting is trashed so he throws the paint on the two of them.

Another classic Cell moment: Shawn vs. Undertaker.

Here are Edge and Lita for a chat before Edge is in a six man tag. Tonight is going to be John Cena’s last match on Raw before he gets sent back to Smackdown where he got started. In honor of his move, it’s time for a special rap, with Edge talking about winning at Unforgiven and mocks the Yankees and New York women.

Edge/Randy Orton/Johnny Nitro vs. John Cena/Carlito/Jeff Hardy

Nitro, still covered in paint, hammers at Jeff in the corner to start but Hardy knocks him right back down. The dropkick to the ribs allows Hardy to bring Carlito in to flip Nitro over and nip up. Orton comes in and gets clotheslined down, followed by an elbow to the face for two. It’s off to Cena and that means the big showdown with Orton despite it not really being a big showdown moment yet.

Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex gets two but Cena goes after Edge, allowing Orton to hit his own suplex. The painted Nitro comes in and gets taken down for some right hands to the face, allowing the tag back to Carlito. It’s back to Orton, who gets clotheslined down and taken into the corner so Hardy can stomp away. A running clothesline puts Orton on the floor and Hardy nails a dive to take him down again.

Edge gets in a cheap shot to Hardy though and that means some hardcore six way staring to take us to a break. Back with Edge working on Hardy’s leg before handing it off to Nitro for the same. Edge comes back in and gets caught with the Whisper in the Wind, allowing the hot tag off to Carlito.

The pace picks up but Edge pulls the middle rope down to send him crashing to the floor. Back in and Nitro’s neckbreaker gets a delayed two so it’s another chinlock. That’s broken up as well and it’s the really hot tag to bring in Cena. Carlito cuts off an RKO attempt with a Backstabber and Hardy adds a Swanton to Orton. The FU into the STFU finishes Nitro as Edge and Lita walk out.

Rating: C+. This got a lot of time but there were quite a few chinlocks to stretch said time out. What we got did work well enough though and I was liking what we were seeing for the most part. Nitro losing to Cena isn’t the worst thing in the world, though I’m still not wild on seeing a champion take a fall. Good match here, but not quite as epic as they seemed to be trying to reach.

Another Cell moment: HHH pins Chris Jericho on top of the Cell.

Cryme Tyme knocks a white guy down and steals his wallet. Egads this isn’t aging well, even if it’s so over the top that it’s hard to take seriously.

Vince McMahon says he’ll win here, unlike Muhammad Ali.

Super Crazy vs. Chris Masters

Rematch from last week when Crazy got an upset win. Masters jumps him from behind to start and the beatdown is on with Crazy getting caught in a chinlock. Back up and Crazy scores with a middle rope crossbody before slipping out of an over the shoulder backbreaker. A hurricanrana takes Masters down again and a sunset flip gives Crazy the fast pin. As usual, the best way to make someone matter in wrestling is to give them some wins so well done so far.

Robert Patrick is in the Marine.

Smackdown Rebound.

Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

This is Trish’s final match on Raw. Mickie grabs the wristlock to start but Trish flips out and throws in a smile. The Thesz press into some right hands have Mickie in trouble but she counters the Stratusphere into a hurricanrana out of the corner. A double clothesline puts them both down but Trish is fine enough to catch Mickie in the Stratusphere on the second attempt. The Chick Kick misses and here’s Lita for a distraction. That’s fine with Trish, who hits the Stratusfaction off of Lita to finish Mickie.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t much to see and that’s completely missing the point. Trish might have been surpassed over the years (almost everyone is at some point) but she absolutely was a huge deal and a game changer for women’s wrestling. If nothing else, how many of today’s crop of women cite her as a huge influence? Trish deserves a big sendoff and that’s what they were going for here, at least on Raw.

Post match Mickie and Trish hug and Trish thanks the fans.

Classic Cell Moment: Kevin Nash vs. HHH, in a match that has kind of been buried in history. I can’t say I really disagree either.

This Week In Wrestling History: the post 9/11 show.

Unforgiven rundown.

D-Generation X runs into Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch and the brawl is on in a hurry. Shane McMahon runs in to help with the beatdown before the main event. Big Show joins in and chokeslams Shawn Michaels onto the limo. Speaking of the limo, HHH has the door slammed on him, allowing Vince McMahon to come in and make the main event no holds barred.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and Vince’s muscle shirt is red instead of the usual black. HHH can barely walk and is bleeding from the…..ear? Somewhere head related at least. Vince is smart enough to headbutt him in said ear, knocking HHH down in a hurry. Choking ensues and some shots to the face with Vince’s belt put HHH on the floor. Vince posts him hard and adds in a kick to the face, so HHH tells him to suck it.

A Pedigree gives Vince two and it’s Game On. HHH hammers away and hits the spinebuster but here’s Shane for a cheap shot to save his pop. Cue Shawn, holding his ribs, for the save but Big Show takes care of that comeback as well. HHH grabs the sledgehammer, only to be taken down by the numbers. Shane chairs Shawn and Vince hits HHH with the sledgehammer for the pin.

Rating: D+. As has been the case tonight, the wrestling didn’t matter here because this was barely a match. What matters here is DX FINALLY having to deal with some adversity as they have mowed through everyone else in recent months with no one else even making them break a sweat. I’m not sure I can imagine them losing inside the Cell, but this set up the possibility and that’s what mattered.

Overall Rating: C+. This show worked because they made it feel like an important night. The Garden is sacred ground for WWE and they know how to make it feel like a place that matters. That’s what they did here and it worked rather well, with a mixture of a build to the pay per view and special moments throughout the night. I had a good time with this and as I said more than twice, this wasn’t about the wrestling and that’s ok in a special situation.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Monday Night Raw – September 4, 2006: I Want To See It

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 4, 2006
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Unforgiven and that means it is time to build up the card. The main event was set last week as John Cena will be challenging Edge for the World Title in a TLC match, which does sound like it has some potential. Other than that and a handicap match inside the Cell, you can probably see a lot of the card but there is work left to do. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the TLC match being set up last week.

Here is Edge in the ring with a table, a ladder and a chair (there’s something to that) to get things going. Edge sits on the ladder and says the “Get John Cena Out Of My Life Countdown” is on. After Unforgiven, Cena is going to the CW because Cena Can’t Win. The match is in Edge’s hometown and Edge has never lost.

We see a special video on Edge’s history in TLC matches (Video: “He’s fearless, he’s relentless, he’s Canadian.”) with some rather violent clips. Back in the arena, Edge says he’s getting rid of Cena and proving that he is the greatest WWE Champion of all time….and here’s Cena to turn the ladder over to put Edge through the table.

Jeff Hardy is painting a wall, which he says is like watching Johnny Nitro and Melina’s press conference from last week. Maria comes up and says it looks like Jeff is watching paint dry. Hardy: “Exactly.”

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro is defending and has Melina in his corner. They trade early rollup attempts for two each to start and it’s an early standoff. That means a kick to the chest to put Nitro on the floor and we take a break. Back with Hardy caught in a reverse chinlock and hitting a belly to back suplex to stay on the back a bit more. With the double arm crank not working, Nitro stomps away and cuts off a comeback with a hot shot.

The fans are behind Hardy but a backbreaker into a Russian legsweep cuts them off again. Nitro grabs a waistlock (with JR making a surprising error by calling it a bearhug) but Hardy comes back with an electric chair to put them both down. Hardy makes the clothesline comeback and uses his double legdrop rollup for two. The Whisper in the Wind gets the same and the Twist of Fate connects, drawing Melina in for the DQ.

Rating: C. They went with a different path here and it involved Nitro being a bit smarter than usual. It made sense to ground Hardy and proved to be right as Hardy’s comeback involved going to the air a bit to take over. This is probably leading to a rematch at Unforgiven and that should work out just fine for everyone involved.

Post match, Hardy hits a Swanton to Nitro’s back.

This Week In Wrestling History: Monday Nitro debuts.

Trish Stratus runs into Lita in the back, who isn’t impressed by Trish’s impending farewell. They set up a title match at Unforgiven and Lita slaps her, with the brawl being on. Carlito tries to break it up but gets jumped by Randy Orton.

Video on the Marine.

Lita pounds on Vince McMahon’s door but gets Shane (looking weird in a beige-ish suit) instead. Shane makes Lita/Orton vs. Trish/Carlito for later tonight. Lita would rather be with Edge, so Shane adds in Edge and John Cena to make it a six person. Jonathan Coachman sucks up to Shane, who rolls his eyes and leaves.

Here’s Chris Masters to say his comeback last week was interrupted so it’s open challenge time.

Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy

This is Crazy’s debut as part of the Raw roster and uh…..yay? Masters punches him down in the corner to start and sends Crazy’s shoulder into the post. That’s good for two back inside but Crazy is back with a spinwheel kick to the face. Crazy kicks him to the floor and hits a dive, followed by a sunset flip for two back inside. Masters blasts him with a clothesline but gets his leg dropkicked out, allowing Crazy to hit the moonsault for the surprise pin.

Rating: C-. What a random debut as Crazy was hardly a big star anywhere in WWE so far. That being said, there is nothing wrong with throwing out a high flier because he is the kind of guy who can go out there and pop the crowd. I’m kind of surprised that he beat Masters, but does Masters mean anything in the first place?

As Masters is upset, we randomly look at Maria still watching the paint dry (and possibly sniffing the roller).

We look back at Vince McMahon attacking DX last week and announcing the McMahons/Big Show vs. DX in the Cell at Unforgiven.

Here are the McMahons for a chat and Vince is looking rather happy this week. Before they can say anything, here’s Big Show to join them, with Vince nearly dancing to his music. Shane says last week was just a little preview for what is coming at Unforgiven, where DX will learn to never mess with the McMahons. Big Show talks about DX coming to ECW to face him tomorrow night, where it will be time to pay the price.

Vince says there is something missing this week and realizes what it is: the fans aren’t happy! They aren’t laughing like they were when they saw DX ruining so many of Vince’s things. Last week they destroyed DX and then it is going to be even worse at Unforgiven. So what kind of a chance will DX have against the three of them in the Cell?

Well that would be no chance in….and here’s DX, looking serious this week. HHH, with the sledgehammer (complimented by Shawn and his chair), says thank you for waking them up last week. They go to the ring and wreck security as the McMahons and DX leave. I can go for serious DX as they go into a major match for a change.

Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas

The winners get a shot at the Spirit Squad (on the stage) at Unforgiven. Cade and Murdoch clean house at the bell with Haas having to save Rory early on. Murdoch elbows Haas in the face but gets flattened by Viscera. Everything breaks down with Viscera flattening various people and Haas loading up a German suplex on Murdoch. Robbie comes in with a sunset flip to Haas, which send Murdoch flying as Robbie gets the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D+. It was energetic but there wasn’t much to see here. There also wasn’t much drama, as the Highlanders had been built up as the next challengers for a long time now, leaving this as more of a foregone conclusion. That isn’t the worst thing though and they were smart to keep this moving as quickly as they did.

Smackdown Rebound.

Carlito rants to Trish about Randy Orton, who he calls a fraud. Tonight, he’s spitting in Orton’s face.

And now, Maria with the Kiss Cam but here’s Ric Flair to interrupt. Maria certainly seems to approve of Flair, who says the only thing that would make this better would be a kiss. Flair gets what he asks for and Maria could not seem happier. It even makes Flair drop his microphone but here’s Armando Alejandro Estrada to interrupt. Estrada talks about Flair saying “to be the man, you gotta be the man”, but who has beaten Umaga? He wants Flair to pass the torch but that isn’t going to be the case. Cue Umaga but here’s Kane right after him. The brawl is on and Umaga is knocked to the floor in a hurry.

We get the first vignette of Cryme Tyme’s training, who rob a smoothie shop. They do make sure to get in a shout out to their friends though, which makes this somehow even more racist than it did before. These things would get half the company fired today.

Teddy Long is in a sky box.

Maria is back with her paint.

Unforgiven rundown, with Carlito vs. Randy Orton and Johnny Nitro defending the Intercontinental Title against Jeff Hardy confirmed.

Big Show knows he can destroy DX but Vince McMahon, holding his DVD, has a better idea: next week, he’s main eventing the show against HHH. It’s in Madison Square Garden you see.

Trish Stratus/John Cena/Carlito vs. Randy Orton/Lita/Edge

Edge has some very taped up ribs after the opening segment. Orton hammers Cena down to start but Cena runs him over with a running shoulder. It’s off to Carlito for the slugout until Orton pokes him in the eye like a villain should. Edge comes in so Carlito hands it off to Cena, sending Edge running off. The women come in to slug it out as well, with Lita blasting her with a clothesline.

Trish is right back up with a slap to Orton and everything breaks down as we take a break. Back with Lita chinlocking Trish, who comes back with a neckbreaker for a breather. The double tag brings in Carlito and Orton again, with Carlito nailing the springboard back elbow to the face. A quick distraction lets Orton send Carlito outside though and the stomping is on to put the villains in control again.

Edge hits a dropkick and the running spear in the corner but hands it off to Orton to kick away instead of covering. That never seems like a good idea but maybe it’s a Canadian thing. Lita gets in a bit of choking of her own and Edge nails a hard clothesline for two. Orton grabs the abdominal stretch but gets caught grabbing the rope. Come on man your dad taught you better than that.

Edge’s chinlock doesn’t do much on Carlito so Orton shows him how it’s done. This time Carlito fights up and hits an enziguri so Edge pulls Cena to the floor. Trish gets the tag instead and everything breaks down in a hurry. The Stratusphere takes Lita down but it’s an RKO to drop Trish and give Lita the pin.

Rating: C+. I can always go with the idea of taking a bunch of feuds and putting them into one match and that is what they did rather well here. The action was good enough and they had a pretty nice heel moment at the end with Orton laying out Trish to make Carlito even angrier. Solid main event here, as they went smart by doing everything at once.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual, a wrestling show is at its best when it has something to focus on and that was the case again here. With less than two weeks to go, the Unforgiven card is starting to look a heck of a lot better. I’m curious to see how things are going to go, but at the same time, what they already have is looking pretty good. Hopefully they don’t take a step back next week, because what we have here is making me want to see the show.

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