Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This show has had a pretty strong build as the card has been all but set for a few weeks now. The bigger matches include Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Edge defending the Smackdown World Title against the Undertaker, plus the Raw World Title triple threat match as Randy Orton defends against John Cena and HHH. Throw in Shawn Michaels trying to end Ric Flair’s career and that’s a heck of a card. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Elijah Burke, The Miz, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky, Deuce, Tommy Dreamer, Shannon Moore, Jamie Noble, Kofi Kingston, Festus, Cody Rhodes, Lance Cade, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Stevie Richards, Trevor Murdoch, The Brian Kendrick, The Great Khali, Jimmy Wang Yang, Domino, Mark Henry, Val Venis, Kane, Jim Duggan

The winner gets an ECW Title match later in the show. The bell rings so Festus snaps, allowing him to toss out Deuce and Domino rather quickly. Khali tosses Duggan and Burke gets rid of Richards, only to get eliminated by Kane. Miz, Yang, Moore and Jesse go out in a hurry, with Venis going out somewhere in there.

Murdoch, Festus, Kendrick and Cage go as well as the ring clears out VERY fast. Henry throws Kingston on top of the pile, followed by Noble (who tries to walk on the eliminated bodies but gets knocked down), Rhodes and Palumbo. A bunch of people get rid of Khali, Dreamer and Holly, leaving us with Henry, Kane and Snitsky. Kane gets rid of Snitsky, slips away from Henry and kicks him out for the win/title shot.

Rating: D. This is one of those “let’s get everyone on the DVD” matches and they didn’t bother wasting time with anything else. Kane winning is a fine way to go as he is pretty easily the biggest name in the match. There is almost no reason to not put the title on him later in the night and at least they didn’t waste time announcing the title match in advance, as Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane is hardly some huge showdown.

John Legend sings the America the Beautiful.

The opening video talks about how important it is to be here, as well how much has changed in a year. It’s not do much a sequel to last year, as much as it is the grand culmination of a rather eventful year. Cool video, as WWE nails these most of the time.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Belfast Brawl (street fight) and kind of a weird choice for an opener. JBL gets the limo entrance and we look at a quick recap of JBL attacking Hornswoggle (Finlay’s son) as Vince McMahon’s mercenary. As you might expect, Hornswoggle is back as well. They start the fight on the floor with JBL getting the better of things before the bell. Finlay reverses a whip into the steps and they’re back inside for the bell.

That means it’s time to go outside for some weapons, with JBL grabbing a trashcan for a heck of a shot to Finlay’s head. The steps are brought in but JBL gets backdropped off of them for a crash. JBL hammers him back down and grabs the shillelagh but Hornswoggle gets in a kendo stick shot for the save. Finlay shillelaghs JBL down and the fans are rather pleased, with Finlay pulling out a table to make them even happier.

With the table up in the corner, a heck of a clothesline drops JBL again but he goes outside and slaps Hornswoggle. Finlay goes nuts and unloads on JBL, who manages to grab a trashcan lid. The suicide dive (oh dear) is lidded out of the air and JBL even kicks Hornswoggle down. Back in and a trashcan shot to the head puts JBL down for a change, setting up the spear through the table. Finlay grabs the steps but JBL knocks out his knee, sending Finlay face first into them. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Finlay off.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t a classic but they beat each other up rather well and started the show off pretty well. It’s a bit weird to see JBL win as the villain comes out on top, but at the same time he’s a much bigger star than Finlay. Even from fighting underneath, Finlay beating JBL would have been a big upset. It might have been the better result though, but at least it was a solid opener.

Kim Kardashian is the guest host and talks about the Money In The Bank ladder match. Mr. Kennedy interrupts to say he’ll win again this year to become the first ever back to back winner. Kardashian laughs at him repeating his name.

John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Money In The Bank. Everyone but MVP bails to the floor to go for a ladder to start, leaving MVP to steal one of the ladder that slides in. Some shots to the face put various other people down but here is Jericho with the big ladder. That means a ladder off (?) with MVP being knocked outside, leaving Morrison to pick up a ladder and moonsault down with it onto the pile (there’s a highlight reel moment).

Back in and Jericho cuts off Kennedy’s climb but catapults him into the ladder in a bit of a mistake. Kennedy can’t get the briefcase so Morrison jumps onto the ladder for the slugout. Benjamin sets up his own ladder and joins the two of them, setting up a sunset bomb into a Tower Of Doom (geez) off the ladders. Carlito breaks up Benjamin’s climb and hits him with the GTS. MVP comes in to knock some people down but misses a running boot in the corner.

It’s Carlito getting pulled down this time so Benjamin Dragon Whips him down. Benjamin goes up until Carlito and Kennedy shove his ladder over…sending him through a bridged ladder at ringside. Kennedy, Carlito and Jericho go up but MVP shoves the ladder over, only to be taken out by Morrison as the carnage continues. Jericho gets the Walls on Morrison on top of the ladder (geez that looks painful/scary) until he has to stop Kennedy.

Hold on though as Carlito and Punk springboard onto the ladders, setting up the big crashes, including Carlito’s super Backstabber to Jericho. That leaves MVP all alone so he goes up but Matt Hardy (in gear) runs in to make the save and reignite their feud. A super Twist of Fate brings MVP off the ladder and Matt runs off through the crowd, leaving Jericho to wedge two ladders together, making kind of a big V (Daddy not included).

Morrison goes up and gets knocked down just as fast, including a crotching on top. Jericho’s climb is cut off by an apple to the face but Kennedy shoves Carlito into a ladder in the corner. Punk makes the save but gets Codebreakered into a ladder to leave everyone down. That lets Jericho go up until Punk starts the slugout. Punk gets smart by tying Jericho’s leg in the ladder and gets the briefcase for the win.

Rating: B. Yeah these matches can be interchangeable but dang they are a lot of fun. This was another spotfest and Punk winning the briefcase is about as big of an endorsement as he could have gotten here. I’d still like to see one or two fewer people in there but Benjamin getting taken out softened things a bit. Heck of a fun match and that’s all it needed to be.

We see the video from last night’s Hall Of Fame induction ceremony.

Here is the Class Of 2008 (dang that music is still great):

Brisco Brothers (how Jack wasn’t in already is beyond me)
Gordon Solie (you can’t forget that voice)
Rocky Johnson (complete with a shuffle)
Peter Maivia (I hear he’s a family man)
Eddie Graham (had to be inducted in Florida)
Mae Young (again, how was she not in before)
Ric Flair (who thankfully isn’t here to tell us about how great he is)

Snoop Dogg is having a great time here so far and he has found someone he sees eye to eye with, from movies to food to cars to everything. That would be Festus but Santino Marella comes in to threaten Snoop….who whips out a bell to send Festus after Santino. Todd Grisham asks where the bell came from so here is Mick Foley, complete with Mr….would it be Snoopo?

Batista vs. Umaga

Smackdown vs. Raw so Theodore Long and William Regal are here. Batista powers him into the corner to start and a shoulder sends Umaga outside for a breather. Back in and a spinwheel kick drops Batista for a change, followed by a splash to the back for two. The nerve hold goes on, which seems a bit early for this one. With that broken up, a powerslam from Umaga sets up…another nerve hold. The Samoan drop gives Umaga two but the Samoan Spike is blocked. Umaga misses a charge into the post, gets spinebustered, and the Batista Bomb (with Batista falling backwards) finishes him off.

Rating: D. Oh this was bad, as it was Batista laying around a lot and then doing his two big finishers. They had built this up as a big match and Batista barely did anything for most of the match. While Umaga had fallen a long way, he was able to do more than this. Normally I would complain about their lack of time, but I don’t want to imagine how much worse this would have been if it had gone longer. Pretty awful match.

We look at the tale of the tape for Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

We look at Kane becoming the new #1 contender to the ECW World Title on the pre-show.

ECW World Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane

Chavo is defending and loses the title to a chokeslam in a record eleven seconds. That’s how it should have gone as there was no reason to believe Chavo would be a threat to Kane.

Here’s the Carlito/Maria ad for the show you’re already watching. Weird.

Raven Symmone is very loud and introduces a bunch of Make-A-Wish kids. That’s always cool. The kids, not Symmone.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels. Flair is still on his winning streak, as he has to retire whenever he loses his next match, so now he wants to face one of the best ever in Shawn, or he doesn’t want to be here anymore. Shawn thinks he has to put Flair down, but Flair isn’t about to go down without a fight. This include an AMAZING tribute video to Flair, set to Leave The Memories Alone. I’m not a Flair fan but dang this worked well.

Flair says his game plan is to be the man. WOO!

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair retires if he loses. Shawn takes him down to start and teases a strut but Flair is back up with a hammerlock. That’s reversed into one from Shawn and they get up for a standoff, complete with WOO. Flair takes him into the corner and brings up the Old Yeller line, earning a shot to the face from Shawn (busting a lip in the process).

A quick slugout goes to Shawn so he goes up top, only to get slammed off. Flair goes up and hits the high crossbody for two in a Starrcade 83 callback. Back up and Shawn sends him outside again, only to have an Asai moonsault hit the edge of the announcers’ table (as in not Flair) to do some serious damage to his ribs. The count is beaten so Flair goes right after the ribs, including a suplex for two.

Shawn knocks him outside again though and hits the moonsault off the top for another knockdown. Back in and they chop it out again until Michaels hits the flying forearm into the nipup. The top rope elbow hits Flair but Shawn can’t bring himself to fire the superkick. You don’t do that to Flair, who grabs the Figure Four, which is turned over without much trouble. Shawn sunset flips him for two more but Flair is right back to the leg, as is his bread and butter.

There’s the Figure Four again and this time it stays on a lot longer. The rope is grabbed to get Shawn out of trouble and he nails Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere. A very delayed cover gets two so Shawn loads it up again, only to have Flair fall down. Shawn’s attempt at picking him up earns himself the required low blow for two but Flair can’t follow up either.

Instead, Shawn pulls him into that inverted Figure Four of his, sending Flair to the rope for a change. They chop it out from their knees until Shawn hits another Sweet Chin Music. Shawn won’t cover so he goes to the corner, with Flair getting back up. Flair says bring it, so Shawn says “I’m Sorry, I Love You” and superkicks him for the pin.

Rating: B. This is a weird one to rate as it is a farewell for Flair, but not exactly a classic. At the end of the day, Flair has been able to wrestle a completely acceptable match for a long time now but there is a big gap between that and hanging in there on this level. It didn’t exactly feel like a classic and the drama was limited, but what we got was certainly good. The problem is that when you think of Flair vs. Michaels on the stage of Wrestlemania, you expect a bit more than “good”. That being said, Flair gets to out with a solid match on the grand stage against a legend. What more could you reasonably ask for?

Shawn immediately leaves so Flair can have the big moment. Flair kisses and hugs his family and makes the long walk up the aisle before blowing one last kiss to the crowd. Yeah it’s an emotional moment, as like him or not, Flair is still a legend and one of the last links to the glory days of the 70s/80s.

Edge talks about being at Wrestlemania VI and seeing Hulk Hogan lose in the main event. It was ok though, because it has come full circle and now he is here again. See, everyone can count on the Undertaker at Wrestlemania but tonight, he takes everything away from them, just like Hogan losing took it away from him. That makes sense.

Fireworks go off.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

This is the Playboy Bunnymania match, meaning a lumberjill match with Snoop Dogg as the Master of Ceremonies. Naturally Snoop comes to the ring in what looks like a Mercedes golf cart, with most of the women following him. Santino Marella is here with the villains. Ashley drives Beth into the corner to start so Maria can come in. Melina gets sent to the floor for a quick beating from the lumberjills, setting up Maria’s Bronco Buster back inside.

Ashley comes back in and gets caught in the wrong corner. A trip to the floor goes badly for Ashley as well and Beth grabs the bearhug. With that broken up, Beth electric chairs Melina into a moonsault onto Ashley (not bad) for a near fall….and the lights go out. As in an actual lights issue, not an Undertaker cameo.

We get a spotlight as Maria (now legal) hits a crossbody for two on Beth. The Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog for two and Beth’s spear hits Melina by mistake. Ashley dives off the apron onto a bunch of lumberjills, leaving Maria to hit a top rope bulldog for two on Beth, with Santino making the save. Jerry Lawler gets up and decks Santino but Beth hits the fisherman’s buster to pin Maria.

Rating: D. Well ok then. This is one of those matches that was never going to be very good in the first place, but then it got a bit more time than I was expecting (even at five minutes) and the villains win. The match was supposed to be little more than goofy fun and you can’t have Maria get in a rollup for the pin? Just a rather weird choice and I’m not sure why they went this way.

Post match Snoop Dogg drops Santino and kisses Maria.

We recap the Raw World Title match, with Randy Orton defending against John Cena and HHH. Cena and HHH are both coming back from major injuries, with Orton having risen to the top during their absences. Now both of them are back to win the title at Wrestlemania, but Orton doesn’t quite see it that way.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. HHH

Orton is defending and Cena’s big entrance this year is a marching band playing him to the ring (that’s rather cool). The bell rings and Orton hits HHH with the bell before brawling with Cena. HHH gets back up and takes Orton outside to beat him over the announcers’ table, followed by the sleeper back inside. Cena picks both of them up but HHH slips out and kicks him low. Orton is back up as well and knocks HHH down to stomp away at both of them.

Cena catches Orton up top but a HHH distraction lets Orton reverse into a sunset flip for two. Another hard shot puts HHH down and Orton hits a double hanging DDT. The RKO to Cena is countered with a shove, leaving Orton to land on HHH. The Throwback hits Orton and the top rope Fameasser takes him down again. Back up and HHH goes after Orton’s knee and slowly stomps away. Cena’s distraction lets the RKO drop HHH but Cena pulls Orton into the STFU.

Orton is about to tap so HHH grabs his hand and pulls it to the rope in a smart move. A whip into the steps takes Cena down and HHH grabs the Indian Deathlock on Orton, because of course he has to do that. Cena sends HHH over the ropes and grabs the STFU on Orton again, only to have HHH make another save. HHH grabs a crossface on Cena but gets broken up, meaning it’s time for the slugout. The FU and Pedigree are both broken up so HHH hits a face/spinebuster. Another shot to the knee takes Orton down and there’s the Pedigree to Cena….but Orton Punts HHH and pins Cena to retain the title.

Rating: B-. It’s an interesting way to go to have Orton retain, but if you want him to have him feel like a bigger main event, giving him the win at Wrestlemania makes as much sense as anything else. Orton can drop the title to one of them alter if he has to but for now, he gets the win that he needs. The match wasn’t exactly great though and felt like almost any other big time triple threat, with one person being out for most of it so the others could fight. Then Orton stole the pin, which is far too common of a finishing sequence in something like this. Not awful, but I’d call it pretty disappointing.

We recap Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr., in a package that is cut from Peacock, likely for music. Mayweather broke Show’s jaw with a punch at No Way Out so Show is trying to take him out. This is billed as the Best Fighter In The World vs. the Largest Athlete In The World and is as McMahon Freak Show style as you can get.

Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Pinfall, submission or knockout only. Mayweather comes out with his entourage and makes money rain from the sky for a festive entrance. The bell rings and Mayweather, in boxing gloves runs away to start before hitting a few shots to the ribs. Hold on though as Mayweather needs water (from a chalice, because of course) so Show beats up part of the entourage.

Back in and Mayweather goes for the right hand to the face but Show pulls it out of the air. The big stomp on the hand misses so Show grabs him by the throat on the corner. A few right hands don’t do much to Show so Mayweather grabs the required sleeper. That’s broken up so Show goes after the hand again and stands on Mayweather, which has the entourage shouting that how THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES!

The big chop in the corner drops Mayweather again and there’s a side slam to crush him. Show gets creative by dropping a leg on the arm and that’s enough for the entourage to pull Mayweather out. That goes as well as you might expect and they go back to the ring, with Mayweather being mostly done.

The entourage tries to come in and gets dropped, with a chair shot having no effect on Show. Mayweather gets the chair and drops Show (after a guy twice his size couldn’t even stagger him), setting up a low blow. Some chair shots to the head stagger Show again so Mayweather grabs brass knuckles from the entourage to knock Show silly for the knockout win.

Rating: C+. This was a total mess and incredibly entertaining throughout. There is something fun about seeing Mayweather get beaten up, even if he won in the end. It made sense to not bother trying to do anything else here than having a goofy match and that is what they pulled off. Good enough stuff here, even if it was mainly Show doing slow motion stuff and Mayweather’s entourage getting beaten up. Still though, they knew what they had here and it worked.

The attendance, as announced by Kim Kardashian: 74,635.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker for Edge’s Smackdown World Title. The focus is on both of them being undefeated at Wrestlemania, with Edge seemingly being more obsessed with giving Undertaker his first loss rather than retaining the title. Undertaker just wants to hut Edge, as tends to be the case to anyone who has hurt him before. Like Edge, who cost him the World Title and then stole it for himself.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge is defending and gets his neck snapped across the top rope to start. Undertaker hammers away back inside and starts cranking on the arm, as is his custom. Old School is broken up and Edge sends him to the apron for a shoulder into the barricade. A running neckbreaker snaps Undertaker’s neck across the top to even things up a bit, meaning Edge gets in some Wrestlemania worthy posing.

Undertaker finally gets back in, where he is caught with a missile dropkick. Edge takes too long to go up again and gets shoved to the floor, setting up the required Taker Dive. Back in and Undertaker’s banged up back means the Last Ride doesn’t work so Edge takes him back outside. There’s a drop onto the barricade, followed by the half crab to keep Undertaker in trouble back inside.

Make that a double leg crank until Undertaker kicks him away for a needed breather. Undertaker wins the slugout and Snake Eyes connects, only to have Edge hit a dropkick to block the big boot (that’s smart). The chokeslam is countered into the Edgecution for two and frustration is setting in. Back up and the chokeslam gives Undertaker two but Old School is countered again (as the theme of Edge knowing everything that is coming continues).

A superplex brings Undertaker back down but for some reason, Edge decides to punch away in the corner. The pose lets Undertaker try the Last Ride, which is countered into a neckbreaker to give Edge two. Another Last Ride attempt connects for two but the Tombstone is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. Undertaker is up again and Old School connects, only to have a big boot hit the referee (you knew that was coming).

Edge goes low and grabs a camera, which knocks Undertaker silly for….well nothing actually as the referee falls to the floor. For reasons of delusions of grandeur, Edge tries his own Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing, with another referee running down to count the near fall. Cue the Edgeheads to get beaten up, allowing Edge to hit a spear for two. Another spear is pulled into Undertaker’s choke and Edge has to tap away the title.

Rating: A-. That felt like a Wrestlemania main event as you had Edge countering every single time but ultimately not being good enough to beat Undertaker, even with the interference. Edge had his game plan but got a bit too cocky a few times, allowing Undertaker to catch up fast. Undertaker getting his title back and vanquishing Edge in the process is a great way to close the show, and the fact that it came in an excellent match makes it even better.

Undertaker celebrates and pyro rains.

The big highlight video wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show where there is a lot of good stuff but the bad drags it down, with only the main event really standing out as great. Other than that you have Money In The Bank doing its usual stuff, Flair’s farewell as a special moment, a freak show match with Show vs. Mayweather and a just pretty good Raw World Title match. That really isn’t enough to carry a nearly four hour Wrestlemania, leaving it as a good enough show, but far from a classic or all time show.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the second of three redos this year and it is a show that I have seen quite a few times over the years. WWE knows how to bust out the big anniversary shows and that is what we will be seeing here. The fact that the show is in Madison Square Garden makes it even better. The main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels in a match that I think might work. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful with a VERY patriotic montage.

The opening video features Vince McMahon walking out of the shadows and talking about how he had a vision twenty years ago which shaped everything today. This gives us the always awesome montage of Wrestlemania clips, which really is their strong suit. They know how to make things feel special and that is what they did here. Speaking of special, the video ends with Shane McMahon now next to Vince and presenting his son, Vince’s first grandchild, as the narrator talks about where it all begins again. That has always stuck with me since I saw this show for the first time and it is great.

In a change from the usual MSG setup, the entrance is on the left instead of opposite the hard camera, though there is a large screen showing the current match.

We get the traditional welcome from the multiple commentary teams.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is challenging and is on fire here, while Big Show has defended the title less than three times since winning it back in October. Cena’s rap mocks Show’s anatomy in various ways and promises that he’ll win the title tonight. Show shoves him away to start but Cena is back with the right hands. Cena’s shots are shrugged off though and he gets sent outside, setting up a powerslam for two back inside.

The fans think Show sucks as he slowly hammers Cena down, including a slam. We get the required standing on Cena’s chest/throat and a suplex drops Cena again. More standing, this time on Cena’s back, seems to wake him up a bit but Show kicks him in the face. Show’s standing legdrop gets two and the frustration starts setting in fast. Powered by the fans (his kind always is), Cena slips out of a slam and grabs a choke, which earns him a hard clotheslines.

Show is back with the cobra clutch but Cena powers out again and avoids a charge in the corner. The FU barely gets two though and now it’s Cena being stunned. With nothing else working, Cena grabs his chain, which is taken away by the competent referee. Instead it’s the brass knuckles off Show’s head, setting up the FU to give the filthy cheater the pin and the title at 9:20.

Rating: C. This was more of a coronation than anything else and it came at the end of a not very interesting match. The problem with someone like Show is there are only so many things that you can do with him. Cena has the power to make it work a little better, but this isn’t the best time in Show’s history and it was obvious here. That being said, this was ALL about Cena and as long as he left with the title, nothing else mattered.

Coach is walking through the back and after meeting various people like Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, he goes in to see Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff (with assistant Johnny Nitro), who wants to make sure that Undertaker is here. Bischoff sends Coach to find him but Coach isn’t exactly comfortable with that. He goes anyway, as Bischoff doesn’t really care.

Evolution, minus HHH, is in a stairwell, with Randy Orton talking about how it’s ironic that we are back here in MSG where he became the new Hardcore Legend. We see a clip of Orton kicking Mick Foley down these steps, which made Foley walk away back in December. Then Foley came back, when Orton spat in his face. Foley can’t accept that life has passed him by, just like evolution.

We see clips of Foley being beaten up over and over, including a segment where Foley told Orton to really hit him in the face. Evolution has gotten bored with it, just like Foley, so he called Hollywood to get the Rock. Then Evolution beat him down too and they’ll do it again tonight. It all started here in MSG, and tonight it all ends here as well. This one always stuck out for me too, just because of the different location.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Van Dam and Booker are defending (with their pretty terrible mashup theme) and this is one fall to a finish. Dupree and Van Dam start things off with a monkey flip sending Dupree flying. Booker beats up La Resistance but it’s off to Bubba for the hard lockup. A neckbreaker drops Booker for two and the snap jabs put him down again. D-Von comes in so Van Dam takes him down with a top rope kick to the face, showing that he too is a filthy cheater by coming in without a tag.

Jindrak tags himself in to stomp away on Booker and it’s Dupree coming back in to drive Booker into the corner. Conway cranks on both arms with a knee in Booker’s back for far too long until a spinebuster breaks things up. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house but D-Von shoves him off the top to break up the Five Star. Everything breaks down and Cade saves Booker from the 3D. Booker kicks Conway down and the Five Star retains the titles at 7:54.

Rating: C-. This is one of the most “yeah whatever” matches I can remember in a long time. There were too many people involved and it was only so good because of all of the people running around. Also, why are you using a minute of an eight minute match on a rest hold? You have eight people involved but we spent that long on Conway pulling Booker’s arms? Really?

Coach goes to find Undertaker and is told there are some “freakish noises” coming from a door. He heads to the door, which is being knocked back and forth. Gene Okerlund, pulling his clothes come back on, comes out, followed by Bobby Heenan, whose shirt is undone. Coach wonders what is going on, but Heenan says they were playing poker. Heenan: “He was dealing.” Coach wants to know what was going on in there, so here are Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, who grab Gene and Heenan and drag them back in. Heenan: “No I don’t want to go back! I haven’t been well!” This still gets me every time.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They used to be best friends and made a bet about who could be more, ahem, successful with Lita and Trish Stratus respectively. Lita kind of went away, but Jericho started to fall for Trish. She found out about the bet and yelled at Jericho, who then tried to win her back. Christian turned on Jericho to get him to be the old Jericho again, setting up the match. This was a really detailed story and I’ve always liked it for telling a coherent story throughout. You don’t get that often and it was one of the best of the era.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

They fight over a lockup to start and go into the corner, with Christian shoving him instead of giving a clean break. Jericho punches him in the face and starts throwing knees to take over, setting up the running elbow. A kick to the face and a backdrop to the floor keep Christian in trouble and Jericho hits a bit dive to take him down again. Back in and Christian manages to belly to back suplex him to the floor to take over for the first time.

The neck crank goes on back inside, followed by a chinlock with a knee in Jericho’s back. A spinwheel kick gives Christian two and it’s time to slap Jericho in the face a few times. That earns him a head to head collision though and they’re both down. The slugout goes to Jericho and he hits the running crotch attack to the back in the ropes. The step up enziguri gives Jericho two but Christian reverses a rollup into one of his own, with a grab of the rope getting two.

Jericho’s bulldog sets up the Lionsault to Christian’s raised knees and a reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two of his own. Jericho is right back up with his swinging sleeper drop but he gets tossed off the top, banging up his knee in the process. Christian’s high crossbody is rolled through so he kicks Jericho in the knee. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on for a bit until Jericho reverses into the Walls.

Christian is in the ropes almost immediately and he rolls outside….with Jericho holding on and keeping the Walls on outside. Back in and a butterfly superplex gives Jericho two and here is Trish Stratus to slap the apron. An implant DDT gives Christian two, which draws Trish up to the apron. Christian shoves her down so Jericho sends him outside. Trish elbows Jericho in the face (it’s unclear if she could see who it was) and Christian’s rollup with tights is enough for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: B. This got going once it became a regular match and these two have more than enough talent to make a longer match work. Christian certainly needed the win more than Jericho here, as it was a big boost in probably his biggest singles win ever. Jericho winning here ends the feud so having Christian move up is the right way to go. Good match too, and that really shouldn’t be surprising.

Post match Trish is upset and apologizes to Jericho. Christian comes back but Trish turns on Jericho and slaps him on the face, setting up the Unprettier. Evil Trish leaves with Christian and we get the semi-famous kiss on the stage in the next big step for both of them.

Mick Foley is fired up to be back in Madison Square Garden and needs to get in that mindset to put all of this anger and emotion on Evolution. The Rock interrupts and is VERY fired up, saying he has finally come back…..home. After telling Lilian Garcia not to look at the People’s package (which she does), Rock steals the cameraman to come with him and sees Hurricane and Rosey, Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and then goes all the way into the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re ready for Evolution and it’s weird seeing Rock and Foley as these two big serious guys going up against evil.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

No recap video here, but it’s basically Foley fighting Randy Orton and the two of them both have major backup. Rock and Foley clear the ring to start before Rock and Flair settle things down, giving the New York fans a crazy dream match. A shoulder puts Flair down and Rock busts out a strut, with Flair coming back up for a WOO. The chops don’t do Flair any good and Rock hits a backdrop to send him rolling outside.

Foley follows him out and drops Flair with a clothesline before coming in himself. That sends Orton bailing to the floor so Foley is right there to send him into the announcers’ table. Back in and Rock takes over on Orton (there’s a dream match we never got), but has to punch Flair and Batista off the apron. The distraction is enough for Batista to come in and take over, allowing Flair to hit some more effective chops. We get the big strut and Flair goes up top and….oh you know the deal.

Batista comes back in before Rock can bring in Foley but the tag brings in Foley a few seconds later anyway. Foley fights out of the corner and hammers Batista down but that huge Batista clothesline cuts his down. Some double teaming on the floor has Foley in more trouble and there’s the big whip to send him knees first into the steps (taking that bump so many times explains so much about why Foley walks that way).

Back in and Foley and Flair slug it out until Orton can come in and pull at Foley’s hair for a reverse chinlock. Batista adds some clotheslines but Foley slips in a quick Mandible Claw. In a smarter move than you would expect from a musclehead like this version of Batista, he waves Orton in for the save instead of getting in more trouble. Flair comes back in and gets forearmed in the face, allowing the really easy tag back to Rock. House is cleaned but Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster.

That lets Flair….load up the People’s Elbow (complete with throwing an invisible elbow pad), but again he takes too long, allowing Rock to nip up and really clean house. The spinebuster plants Flair, setting up a People’s Elbow, complete with strut, for a delayed two. There’s the Rock Bottom to Orton with Flair making the save.

Flair grabs a chair but the distraction lets the Batista Bomb hit Rock to give Orton two (in the same way Batista helped Orton beat Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 2003). The real hot tag brings in Foley to clean house but the Mandible Claw takes too long (theme of the match) and Orton grabs an RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: B+. The more I see this match, the more I like it, as you have Rock and Flair doing everything they could to steal the show and Foley going after Orton every chance he could. Batista was in there with the muscle and it made for a great showcase. It was every bit the big moment that they were shooting for and it made me want to see a bunch of these combinations again. That wouldn’t happen for the most part, but dang they made this one work really well, as the match itself was a backdrop to just doing entertaining stuff, leaving the crowd completely in their hands.

Hall of Fame video recap, featuring Heenan’s “I wish Monsoon was here”, which will get me every single time.

The Hall of Fame class is introduced by Gene Okerlund:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as only he can)
Tito Santana (about as perfect of a midcarder as you could have)
Big John Studd (represented by his son)
Harley Race (yep, though billing him as The King is a bit odd)
Pete Rose (booed, but apparently very grateful for the honor so points for that)
Don Muraco (I could go for more of him, as you don’t see him brought up very often)
Greg Valentine (who looks like he is ready for Wrestlemania IV)
Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)
Billy Graham (there’s an influential one)
Sgt. Slaughter (with the salutes)
Jesse Ventura (I could listen to that voice talk about anything, as long as he jabs McMahon)

This was the first class in almost ten years and it is a heck of a group, though no one really stands out as a headliner.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Playboy Evening Gown match, as Jackie and Stacy are jealous of the other two for being in the magazine. Hold on though as Sable wants to start minus the evening gowns. That’s exactly what we do, with commentary reacting exactly as you would expect them to. Jackie won’t drop her gown so it gets ripped off of her to start fast. Sable kicks at Jackie’s ribs in the corner and Torrie comes in with a high crossbody.

Stacy comes in (taking her time to come over the ropes) and throws in a cartwheel. The Kevin Nash choke in the corner doesn’t do Stacy much good so they go to the pinfall reversal sequence for various camera shots. Stacy’s kick to the face gets two on Torrie before it’s back to Jackie. The referee gets rolled over and it’s Torrie reversing a rollup for the pin on Jackie at 2:32. This is exactly what you would have expected it to be.

Fans have come from various states and countries for the show.

WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero says he has Chris Benoit’s back win or lose, but Benoit doesn’t like the word lose. Eddie says no one believes in him but Benoit says he believes in himself and tonight is his night. That’s what Eddie wanted to hear.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (with his dad) is defending and will enter last in the ten person gauntlet. Everyone gets their entrance (with Ultimo Dragon’s two slips edited out, thankfully) and it’s Shannon Moore in at #1 and Ultimo Dragon in at #2. Dragon works on the arm to start but Moore shoulders him down for….well not much really. Back up and Moore misses a Whisper in the Wind, allowing Dragon to hit his standing Sliced Bread for the elimination at 1:19.

Jamie Noble is in at #3 to jump Dragon from behind with a clothesline for two. Dragon is right back with his alternating kicks for two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. A neckbreaker drops Dragon and a guillotine choke finishes him off at 2:17 (total). Funaki is in at #4 and hits a high crossbody but Noble rolls through for the pin at 2:27.

Nunzio is in at #5 as commentary brings up SD Jones getting pinned in nine seconds at Wrestlemania. Some quick rollups give Nunzio two but Noble sends him outside for the HUGE flip dive off the top. They take turns pulling each other off the apron until Noble gets the countout elimination at 4:20.

Billy Kidman is in at #6 to jump Noble from behind (again with the filthy cheaters) and Nunzio pulls Noble to the floor. Instead of standing around, Kidman hits a crazy top rope shooting star onto the two of them for the almost terrifying landing. Thankfully Kidman is able to throw Noble back inside for two but has to fight out of the guillotine. An enziguri sets up the shooting star press, but Kidman has to fight Noble off. That’s fine enough, as the super BK Bomb gets rid of Noble at 6:12.

Rey Mysterio (as the Flash) is in at #7 and the top rope seated senton connects, only to have Kidman blast him with a dropkick. Mysterio hits his own dropkick to send Kidman outside but Akio snaps Rey’s throat across the top. Kidman’s spinebuster gets two so he puts Rey on top, only to get pulled down with a sunset bomb for the elimination at 7:30.

It’s Tajiri in at #8 to kick away at Mysterio and the Tarantula makes it worse. That doesn’t last long (just shy of five seconds oddly enough) and it’s the 619 to rock Tajiri. The springboard….something misses though and Tajiri loads up the mist, which hits an interfering Akio by mistake.

Rey grabs a rollup to get rid of Tajiri at 8:39 and apparently the mist means Akio can’t go, so Chavo is in at #10 to complete the field. Tajiri cheap shots Rey so Chavo gets two but Rey fights up and takes Chavo Sr. down. The running flip dive takes out Sr. again (well that seemed excessive) so Jr. grabs a rollup, with Sr. grabbing his hands to retain the title at 10:31.

Rating: C. This was the next match in the “well, here are a bunch of people” series of matches on the show. I’ve never gotten the logic of these matches as you have people getting falls in a minute when usual matches take five times as long as one elimination here. At the same time, Chavo just keeps the title, making this quite the uninteresting showcase, save for Kidman’s big spots.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They talked trash to each other at the Royal Rumble and then Lesnar interfered in said Rumble to help eliminate Goldberg. Then Goldberg cost Lesnar the WWE Title so we have this match, with Steve Austin as guest referee. As a result, the feud wound up being Lesnar vs. Austin, as Austin gave Goldberg the idea to help cost Lesnar the title. Then Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Goldberg was just kind of there too. Oh and both Goldberg and Lesnar are leaving after the show and everyone knows about it.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Steve Austin is guest referee. Lesnar and Goldberg do their big entrances and we immediately hit the YOU SOLD OUT chants (pick your target). They stare at each other for almost a minute and Austin tells them to go at it. Now it’s the Goodbye Song as I try to get my mind around the idea of Lesnar having a tiny goatee coming in. They stare at each other some more as commentary talks about Lesnar going to the NFL.

There’s no contact for the first two minutes so Austin stares at both of them as he figures out that this is going to be a long night. They finally lock up after about 2:50 and that stays on for nearly 40 seconds with both of them letting go. They fight over another lockup, and by fight I mean they’re standing there with their arms around each other’s heads. Fans: “THIS MATCH SUCKS!”

Lesnar grabs a headlock for the first offensive move about five minutes in. They trade shoulders with neither going anywhere so they go nose to nose to yell at each other. The double shoulder puts them both down and then stare at each other a bit. Goldberg FINALLY picks him up in a gorilla press for a spinebuster but the spear only hits buckle. After a GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, Lesnar throws him back inside for some suplexes and a standing choke as Lawler desperately tries to turn this into a Raw vs. Smackdown thing.

That goes on for a long time as well until Goldberg fights out and they collide again, earning some straight booing. Goldberg fights up again and hits some clotheslines into a swinging neckbreaker. The spear gets two so Goldberg yells at Austin, allowing Lesnar to come back with the F5 for two. Now it’s Lesnar yelling at Austin, meaning he misses a spear of his own. Goldberg hits the spear and the Jackhammer gets rid of Lesnar for about eight years.

Rating: D-. Of course the match is terrible and a form of torture in 14 states, but there is some kind of perverse entertainment out of the whole thing. This wasn’t designed to be an entertaining match but rather two guys just messing around until they did a few things and called it a match. It’s an all time mess, but it’s a bit different than a match being a wreck just because it isn’t any good. This one is so bad that it’s fun in a way, which is a very different thing.

Post match we get beer and Stunners as the fans are pleased with Austin for knocking out those two after that match.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

In a very nice moment, Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for being there for twenty years of Wrestlemania. This is the kind of genuine feeling moment that you do not get in modern WWE and it was kind of sweet.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi) are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Benjamin jumps Bradshaw to start and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Doug Basham tags himself in and suplexes Benjamin down for two, with Haas having to make the save. Back up and Benjamin slams Doug onto Haas’ knee and it’s off to Scotty to run Haas over.

That lets Scotty stop to dance but he gets thrown over the top. Scotty is fine enough to skin the cat but Haas catches him on his shoulders, allowing Benjamin to hit the running jump onto his back. The Bashams come in and hit a double suplex on Scotty to take over as the heat segment in the second four way Tag Team Title match on a four and a half hour show continues.

Scotty finally flips out of a belly to back suplex and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. Haas takes the Stinkface and Bradshaw fall away slams Doug over the top and onto a pile on the floor. The Clothesline From Bradshaw hits Danny but Rikishi takes Bradshaw out and sits on Danny to retain at 6:03.

Rating: D+. It was about the same as the first four way, but this would probably be the first match that needed to be cut to trim some of the time off this very long show. Rikishi and Scotty are another on the long list of forgotten teams to hold the titles and it isn’t like this was anything memorable either.

Dancing ensues post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year away with a neck injury.

Here is Jesse Ventura to interview someone so he picks…..Donald Trump, who happens to be in the front row. Jesse plugs the Apprentice and suggests that he is going to run for President, even asking for Trump’s financial and moral support. Sure, and we’ll move on as fast as we can.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair, which was the only way they could get this match on the show so the two of them immediately agreed. Molly forearms her down to start and hits a running hip attack in the corner. Back up and Victoria spins out of a wristlock and Molly needs an early breather. She gets back in and grabs a snap suplex for two on Victoria, setting up a basement dropkick for two more.

The neck crank is on as Lawler goes into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria fights up and hits a powerslam for two as JR wants some hot tea. Molly is sat on top and comes back with a sunset bomb for two of her own. For some reason Molly tries the Widow’s Peak (Victoria’s finisher) but Victoria reverses into a rollup to retain at 4:54.

Rating: C. They were victims of the time problems again here as there is only so much you can do in less than five minutes. The good thing is that the two of them are talented enough to make something out of nothing so the match was certainly watchable, even if it was more about setting up the post match stuff. It’s literally a case of this being the best WWE could give them though and that is better than just cutting the match.

Post match Molly tries to run away but gets sleepered out and tied in the chair for the big hair cut.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title. Angle attacked Eddie because he didn’t want a former drug addict as the WWE Champion (the future would not be kind to this story for Angle). Therefore, it is time for a real hero to take the title but Eddie isn’t standing for this. Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman has gotten in on Angle’s side and has helped him destroy Eddie more than once, including once when Eddie’s hands were handcuffed behind his back. Now it’s time for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending and the haircut is continuing as Angle makes his entrance. They start slowly with Eddie actually taking him down but making the mistake of trying to go amateur with him. Angle’s headlock takeover works rather well but Eddie as we get the LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chants. Eddie gets a fireman’s carry takeover but Angle flips over into a front facelock without much trouble.

A backdrop gets Eddie out of trouble and he armdrags Angle over into an armbar, setting in the frustration. Angle fights up and gets an abdominal stretch to stretch Eddie’s abdominals before hitting a German suplex. The second is escaped and Eddie winds up on the apron, where he has to block the German suplex to the floor. A dropkick puts Angle down but Eddie’s big dive only hits the barricade to bang up his ribs even more.

Some shoulders to the ribs set up a bodyscissors but Eddie jawbreaks his way to freedom. That lasts for all of two seconds as Angle drops the ribs across the top rope and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Now it’s a waistlock to stay on the ribs and another belly to belly gives Angle another two. Eddie manages a quick knockdown though and goes up for the frog splash, which only hits mat.

The frustrated Angle starts throwing right hands, which just fire Eddie up enough to start his comeback. The rolling German suplexes cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag. Two Amigos connect until Angle picks the ankle but Eddie kicks him off immediately. Eddie goes up but Angle is right there with the run up the ropes belly to belly superplex for the big crash back down.

Angle runs him over again though and the straps come down, setting up the Angle Slam. Eddie breaks that up as well and it’s a DDT to set up the frog splash for a rather close two. The ankle lock goes on again so Eddie rolls him outside and starts untying his boot to loosen the pressure. Back in and the angry Angle grabs the ankle lock, only to have Eddie kick him away and lose his boot. Angle is so stunned that he gets small packaged to retain Eddie’s title at 21:33.

Rating: A-. This was more about the psychology as Angle was hyper focused and Eddie eventually suckered him in with the boot. It made for a great finish, but it also came after an awesome match with Angle taking Eddie apart as only he could and Eddie having to survive. The ending was a very Eddie way to retain the title and that grin is hard to turn down. Absolutely a Wrestlemania match and an instant classic that doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane in the return of the Dead Man. Kane had turned on Undertaker and buried him alive (again) because he thought Undertaker was going soft. Then the gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane realized he was in trouble. Now Undertaker is back and it’s time for some revenge.

Kane vs. Undertaker

It’s the first time the Dead Man has been back since 1999 and Paul Bearer is right there with him. We also have torch bearing druids, because you always need torch bearing druids. Kane is already panicked and shouts that Undertaker isn’t real, because somehow Kane still doesn’t get how Undertaker works. Undertaker finally starts punching away against the ropes and they head to the floor for a slugout. That goes to Undertaker, who hits the apron legdrop to stun Kane again.

Back in and Kane kicks him in the face and it turns into a slugout on the mat for a change. The side slam plants Undertaker again, setting up the top rope clothesline for two. Undertaker fights right back with more right hands and tries Old School, which is pulled out of the air by the throat. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane poses instead of covering. Undertaker sits up and stares at Kane mid pose, meaning it’s time for the real beating. Right hands, the chokeslam and the Tombstone finish Kane to make it 12-0 at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the match but rather Undertaker being back, so there was no reason to believe that Kane was any serious threat. What mattered here was having Undertaker get back in the ring and destroy Kane because he is back in a big way. Kane was the designated victim here, which has been the case for him so many times now that he should be used to it.

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit. Michaels and HHH went to a draw at the Royal Rumble so HHH retained the title. Then Benoit jumped to Raw and said he wanted the Raw World Title. The contract signing was set but Shawn ran in to interrupt, saying he needed that one more shot. He took out Benoit and signed the contract, because WWE continues to not get how contracts work. Steve Austin then made the match a triple threat, with Shawn being the most wedged in challenger of all time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending in his weird white boots look. We go old school with the weapons check before Benoit sends HHH outside to start. That leaves Benoit to miss a backslide and Crossface on Shawn, who grabs a rollup for two. A northern lights suplex gives Benoit two but HHH is back in. Shawn has to skin the cat to get back inside, where he tosses Benoit out instead.

HHH is set outside as well, where he and Benoit are taken down by a baseball slide. Shawn’s big moonsault to the floor puts everyone down for a change until Benoit is left alone on the outside. The Pedigree is broken up by a returning Benoit, who fires off knees to Shawn’s ribs and sends him into the post. Shawn is fine enough to come back and tie Benoit in the Tree of Woe but HHH cuts Shawn off again.

The flying forearms drops HHH and Shawn nips up, only to have Benoit toss him outside. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but gets crotched by Shawn, who misses Sweet Chin Music to HHH. A DDT sends Shawn outside and a superplex gets six (which is somehow not three) on Benoit. The Crossface goes on out of nowhere so Shawn has to dive in for the save. That earns Shawn some rolling German suplexes into a Swan Dive for a rather close two as HHH is still down.

Now it’s Shawn making the comeback and hammering on Benoit, who gets sent outside. HHH gets superkicked for two with Benoit making the save so everyone goes outside. Shawn gets posted and busted open so Benoit puts on the Crossface, with HHH having to grab the hand to block the tap. HHH sends Benoit into the steps and loads up the announcers’ table (it wouldn’t be Wrestlemania without it), with Shawn helping on a double suplex to put Benoit through said table.

NOW we get the big HHH vs. Shawn slugout, because that’s what the two of them probably wanted this to be the whole time. Shawn whips HHH over the corner for the crash to the floor, with HHH coming up bleeding. Back in and Shawn slowly gets the better of things but a quick Pedigree takes him down.

Benoit has to come back in for the save before sending Shawn outside. The Sharpshooter has HHH in trouble so Shawn breaks it up with the superkick for a delayed two. Benoit sends him outside and reverses the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH can’t get the rope and Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring for the tap and the title at 24:08.

Rating: A+. Yes it’s still a masterpiece with nothing close to a misstep or weak part and that is not something you get to see very often. All three worked hard and at the end of the day, Benoit won clean over HHH via submission in the middle of the ring. This felt like the main event of a milestone show and it was an incredible match which has not gotten old every time I have seen it. That is hard to do and it certainly deserves the honor.

Benoit gets the HUGE celebration with the confetti falling. Eddie Guerrero comes in for the shot that is now iconic for all the wrong reasons and JR’s voice gives out with the shouting to end the show.

Well almost, as we get the highlight reel to really wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. In case it wasn’t clear throughout, there are more than a few matches on this show that feel like they are there for the sake of getting people on the card. If you get rid of those matches, this is an all time classic, as well as having the show be under four hours. The rest of the show is pretty much an all timer (Goldberg vs. Lesnar aside) with the matches either feeling important or being great. Just trim it down and stop cramming things in and it’s that much better. It’s absolutely worth a look if you have seen it before or not, but have the fast forward button ready.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C-

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2018 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F
2013 Redo: E
2015 Redo: F
2018 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2022 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

I think we’ve found about the definitive ratings for this one, or at least as close as you’re going to get after five looks at it.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XIV
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: Fleetcenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Chris Warren

This is the first of the annual redos and it’s a show that is incredibly historic but doesn’t get the most attention. As you might remember, the main event is Steve Austin getting his shot against Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title, along with Kane vs. Undertaker for the first time ever. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of Wrestlemania and how tradition has been taken hostage by a new generation. These people are here to be the top stars and fight for the same title held by Andre, Hogan and Bruno. This year is destined to become a part of the history and somewhere, the father of Wrestlemania will revel in it as well.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Faarooq/Kama Mustafa, Savio Vega/Miguel Perez Jr., Jose Estrada Jr./Jesus Castillo, Truth Commission, Bradshaw/Chainz, New Midnight Express, Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown, Quebecers, LOD 2000, Rock N Roll Express, Headbangers, Too Much, Disciples Of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwinns

For a future Tag Team Title shot and LOD 2000, with Sunny, are surprise entrants. If one member is eliminated, the entire team is gone. It’s a huge brawl to start (as it has to be) as JR tries to keep track of everyone involved. Vega is out, with Perez having to be helped to the back. Jim Cornette and Sunny argue on the floor as Kurrgan comes out to help eliminate the Truth Commission.

Cue Barry Windham (not in the match) to toss Chainz out and sure we’ll count that. Brown is eliminated and the Quebecers follow as the ring is clearing out a good bit. The Rock N Roll Express are out and Estrada/Castillo follow. The Headbangers are tossed as well, with JR wondering why Mark Henry is still in there despite his partner being tossed. Henry gets the message and leaves as Animal gets rid of Too Much.

We’re down to the Midnights, the LOD, the Disciples and the Godwinns as they didn’t waste time here. Things slow down a bit with Hawk shoulders Henry but Phineas is back up to get rid of the Disciples. Hold on though as the Disciples come back in to throw the Godwinns out, leaving us with two. Then the Godwinns get back in again and hit the LOD with their buckets. Animal is sent outside through the ropes but comes back in to make the save. Hawk hits a clothesline to get rid of Holly for the win at 8:21.

Rating: C-. This was nothing but a way for the LOD to come in with their new look and Sunny then run through some people for a win. There was almost no drama to this one and the stuff with the Godwinns seemed to be setting up something for the LOD going forward. Having the LOD come out for the return pop worked but a thirty man battle royal which took awhile to get through didn’t help.

We look at various media events to promote the show, including the DX public workout which almost went very badly due to Shawn Michaels being in quite the bad place.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Michinoku is defending and Aguila would go on to be better known as Essa Rios. Aguila snaps off a headscissors and a spinwheel kick to send Taka outside. That means a baseball slide into a top rope moonsault (which JR calls an Asai moonsault) to take Taka out again. Back in and Taka dropkicks him to the floor for a change, setting up the always great looking top rope dive to the floor.

Back in again and Aguila sends him outside again, only to have Taka go up top. That’s fine with Aguila, who runs the corner and hits a top rope armdrag. A springboard armdrag and a very spinning wristdrag have Taka on the floor again, setting up the big corkscrew dive. JR is trying to keep up with this while Lawler has more or less given up.

Taka misses a moonsault back inside and gets planted for two before being sat up top. Aguila gets knocked down but Taka’s splash hits knees, allowing Aguila to hit a middle rope hurricanrana. A missile dropkick gets Taka out of trouble though and the sit out powerbomb plants Aguila again. Taka misses a middle rope moonsault, only to dropkick him out of the air. The Michinoku Driver retains the title at 5:59.

Rating: B-. It was a total popcorn match as they were all over the place with the high spots and as a result, it was rather entertaining. That being said, this felt like someone saw the cruiserweights in WCW and decided to do their own lower level version. That’s more or less exactly what this was, which is one of the reasons the division didn’t stick. Fun match, but it could have been on any given edition on Raw.

Gennifer Flowers interviewed the Rock earlier today, and asked how he would handle the homeless situation if he was leader. Rock prefers ruler, but the reality is that if those people stay off his lawn and in their boxes, he’s happy. As for the judicial system, as long as you realize he’s the judge and jury, everything is fine. Just remember that he would be a hung jury. Finally, he’s fine with running the White House as long as the interns underneath him do their, ahem, jobs. This was basically a celebrity serving Rock up some batting practice.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

HHH, with Chyna, is defending in one of the last bits of fallout from Montreal. Hart has a bad ankle coming in and Chyna is handcuffed to Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter. Hart slugs away to start and snaps off a hurricanrana for two, only to get elbowed in the jaw for his efforts. With Hart out on the floor, Chyna tries a right hand but gets pulled back by Slaughter, meaning HHH’s cheap shot doesn’t work either.

It’s way too early for a Sharpshooter back inside and HHH grabs the facebuster to take over. The jumping knee gets two and Lawler is literally screaming at HHH to go after the ankle. A DDT gets two before it’s FINALLY time to go after the ankle. HHH goes old school (yes even back then) with the spinning toehold, followed by an elbow onto the leg. More cranking on the leg in the corner has Owen in trouble but he’s able to come back with a belly to belly.

A spinwheel kick gives Hart two and he hits the enziguri, only to hurt the bad ankle again. The hurricanrana is countered with a hard powerbomb to give HHH two more as things slow down a bit. HHH puts him up top but gets shoved away, setting up a high crossbody for two. Owen falls head first into a low blow ala Sting (always works), sending Lawler into hysterics over the referee not calling a DQ. The Sharpshooter goes on but HHH makes the ropes. With the referee distracted, Chyna throws powder in Slaughter’s eyes and hits Hart low. That and the Pedigree are enough to retain the title at 11:28.

Rating: C+. This was good enough, though it’s far from the HHH that he would later become. The ending didn’t exactly keep Owen looking strong and that was pretty much the point of the match. Slaughter was barely a factor here, but that is the summation of his time as Commissioner: a grand total of nothing and it was nice to see him go away.

Post match Chyna beats up Slaughter.

We recap Sable/Marc Mero vs. Luna Vachon/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust. In short, Sable is a star, Mero doesn’t like it, Luna and Goldust tried to do something about it and Mero came to her defense. Or the more realistic version: Sable, Sable, Sable, Sable, Sable, Sable and Sable. Er wait, putting “and” in front of her might suggest that Sable isn’t important and we can’t have that.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna Vachon/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

Goldust takes Mero into the corner to start but gets caught with a running headscissors. The women come in but Luna immediately tags back out, leaving Sable to superkick (ok not so super) Goldust. Mero comes back in and is quickly clotheslined down as Lawler wants to know why Luna won’t fight Sable.

The villains take over on Mero, who manages a boot in the corner to put Goldust down. Luna gets the tag and so does Sable, which seems rather unnecessary due to the rules. Sable cleans house in the traditional catfighting style but does throw in some kicks in the corner. A clothesline puts Luna on the floor and it’s back to Goldust, who gets sent into the steps. Back in and the TKO is countered into a DDT to give Goldust two as things slow down again.

Mero knee lifts his way to freedom and a springboard moonsault press (which BARELY rotates enough) gives him two. This time it’s Goldust going up top but getting crotched right back down. A super hurricanrana sets up the TKO for two, with Luna making the save. Sable tags herself in and covers Goldust (as the rules are all over the place here) but has to avoid Luna’s top rope splash. Sable powerbombs Luna for two before avoiding a charge against the ropes. The TKO gives Sable the pin at 9:08.

Rating: C-. I know it’s been said to death, but simply put, Sable just wasn’t very good. She was there because of how she looked in gear and she knew how to sell a shirt, but those are the high points of her talent. The other three were trying, but this was all about Sable and everyone could tell from the second the match was announced.

Tennessee Lee (better known as Robert Fuller/Colonel Robert Parker) brings out Jeff Jarrett with Gennifer Flowers, the latter of whom is guest ring announcer for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

The Rock, with the Nation of Domination, is defending. Shamrock has been wanting the title and Rock gave him one heck of a scary chair shot to the face. Rock also accidentally hit Nation leader Faarooq, which seems to bode badly for him. They start fast as JR says this is for the European Title. Shamrock kicks him in the chest to start and they go to the floor, with Rock staggering near the technical equipment.

Back in and Shamrock strikes him down again before bouncing Rock’s head against the mat. They go back outside with Rock managing a whip into the steps for a much needed breather. That sets up the not quite People’s Elbow for two but Shamrock sends him outside again. The chair is loaded up but the referee grabs it, earning him a shove from Shamrock. Rock grabs said chair for a shot to the head for a near fall as the referee is back up. Shamrock unloads on Rock and belly to belly suplexes him into the ankle lock for the tap/the title at 4:49.

Rating: C. They kept this one moving as it wasn’t even five minutes long, with Rock only getting in a few shots here and there. Shamrock ore or less mauled him, with that chair shot barely doing any damage. This almost felt like a TV match instead of some big pay per view (let alone Wrestlemania) title match, but it also made Shamrock look like a monster by running through the champ that fast.

Post match Shamrock stays on the Rock so here are the Nation and some referees. That doesn’t work at all as Shamrock beats everyone up, which is enough for the referee to reverse the decision, meaning Rock retains. Shamrock blows off some more steam by beating up Rock on the stretcher. This really doesn’t feel like a Wrestlemania title match, but it was a rather different time. Again though: Shamrock looked like a killer and that worked well.

We get the still awesome “we are real athletes” promo, with wrestlers talking about their backgrounds and the injuries they had to deal with over their careers.

We recap the New Age Outlaws defending the Tag Team Titles against Chainsaw Charlie/Cactus Jack. The Outlaws don’t like old guys and put the two of them in a dumpster for a ride off the stage. Now it’s time for the appropriate choice of a dumpster match.

Tag Team Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending in a dumpster match (same rules as a casket match). It’s a brawl to start with Cactus trying to put Dogg in the dumpster early. That’s broken up and a metal sheet to the head slows Cactus down. Cactus’ flip dive off the apron only hits dumpster (you knew that was coming) and Gunn backdrops Charlie (or Funk as JR calls him) into the dumpster.

The Outlaws slam the dumpster lids onto Cactus and Charlie’s heads as JR thinks the old guys like this a bit. Cactus blocks the slamming of the lid though and it’s time to bring out some more weapons to crank up the violence. An elbow off the apron with a cookie sheet hits Gunn and of course it’s time for the ladder. Cactus and Gunn go up, only to be sent crashing into the dumpster for the big spot.

With Cactus getting out, Charlie gets powerbombed into the dumpster, leaving the Outlaws to take Cactus up to the entrance, which doesn’t feel overly logical. They go to the back so we look at some highlights, which would feel so bizarre these days. Cactus is sent into various catering things, including big Surge and Powerade displays. Gunn gets double armed DDT’ed onto a forklift and here is Charlie to pick both Outlaws up and drop them into a dumpster. Cactus closes the lid for the win and the titles at 10:17.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t exactly your traditional match but what mattered the most was Cactus and Charlie getting their revenge after taking a huge beating. The fans wanted to see them win the titles and that is what they got. Granted it was on the Titantron, but that is better than not getting the belts at all. It makes sense to not put the Outlaws in a more traditional match as that was never really their thing, so thankfully this was a case of playing to their strengths.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker and…yeah this is a deep one. So Paul Bearer turned on Undertaker, who wanted revenge. Eventually Bearer revealed that Undertaker had a brother named Kane, who was believed to be killed in a fire as a child. In reality, Kane was still alive and had apparently been kept hidden by Bearer for years. Then Kane appeared and wanted revenge on Undertaker, attacking every wrestler he could until Undertaker agreed to fight.

Undertaker never would, so eventually Kane put Undertaker in a casket and burned him alive (after teasing joining Undertaker in a pretty cool moment). That violates one of the most important rules in wrestling, which says “don’t tick off a giant monster who may or may not have evil powers”. This included Undertaker appearing on top of the Titantron and lighting a casket on fire, revealing a burning Kane inside for one of the most amazing things I had ever seen at 10 years old. Now it’s time for their first fight and this is huge.

Here is Pete Rose as a special guest and he is all over the Boston Red Sox fans, instantly getting every single thing about being a heel in wrestling. Rose halfway introduces Kane, who makes his full entrance….and promptly annihilates Rose with a Tombstone. This makes Kane the most popular man in Boston for at least a good thirty seconds.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Kane has Paul Bearer with him but Undertaker comes out with the tunnel made of torch carrying druids for one of the all time awesome entrances. They go nose to nose for an awesome visual before Undertaker starts striking away (I believe the first time he has ever attacked Kane). That’s enough to knock Kane into the corner, where he launches Undertaker in instead. Kane strikes away and puts him in the Tree of Woe to continue said striking.

Undertaker is sent outside for a second before the beating continues back inside. For some reason Undertaker tries to jump onto Kane’s shoulders, earning him a quick crash back down. Kane hits him with the steps and even Bearer gets in some cheap shots from behind. Back in and Undertaker starts running the ropes rather hard (that always looks cool), only to charge into a chokeslam, with Kane pulling him up at two.

We hit the chinlock, which is where the match grinds to a halt. Kane is a monster who has basically become a horror movie villain, but he knows how to grab a chinlock and lay on the mat for a bit? There is something that completely misses there and it kills the match dead. That’s broken up and Kane drops an elbow before grabbing another chinlock. Undertaker finally powers his way out and sends Kane outside, where the Taker Dive is sent crashing through the announcers’ table in a great visual.

Back in and the top rope clothesline gives Kane two but Undertaker is back with a Tombstone…which is reversed into one from Kane for two. That wakes the fans way back up and Undertaker starts striking away as Kane is starting to stagger. A running clothesline puts Kane down and there’s the chokeslam into a Tombstone for two on Kane. Another Tombstone gets another two, with Kane kind of twitching his shoulder for the kickout. The top rope clothesline into a third Tombstone (with a regular cover instead of the hands over the chest) finish Kane off at 16:59, though Kane kicks at about 3.1.

Rating: B-. This is a match that started and ended well, but there is a long stretch in the middle and it really hurt things. That chinlock segment and a bunch of the basic wrestling they did felt like it was out of a completely different match, which dragged things way down. This really needed to have about five minutes cut out, because the opening staredown and brawl worked, along with the last portion. Instead, it’s a rather long match that didn’t work as well as it should have.

At the same time, Undertaker winning didn’t exactly feel right, as Kane had been built up as this monster who should have been a different kind of opponent. In this situation, it would have made sense for him to win and beat Undertaker to set up some big, and much more violent, rematch. What we got was ok, but it should have been that much better.

Post match Bearer comes in to stomp on Undertaker, who fights up and hits Bearer in the face. Kane is back up and wrecks Undertaker with the chair, setting up a Tombstone onto it to leave Undertaker laying. Kane and Bearer leave, with Undertaker getting up and kind of falling out to the floor.

We get a vignette featuring various legends, who talk about how they had their day but can never do this kind of thing today. Now, they cheer for these new people. This is an all timer from the company and shows how everything has changed. Awesome indeed.

We recap Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title. Austin is on an all time roll and is ready to claim his destiny, but he has to deal with not only Shawn, but the rest of DX, including Mike Tyson, who has joined the team and is a special referee. To call this huge would be an understatement as even Eric Bischoff said “oooh, that’s pretty good.”

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Steve Austin

Michaels, with HHH and Chyna, is defending and Mike Tyson is guest enforcer referee. We get the long tracking shots from the back, which are still some of the best things WWF ever did and make things feel that much bigger. The DX Band plays Shawn to the ring for something that should be cool but they don’t quite have that epic feeling.

Austin flips him off to start and gets punched in the face, which does not sit well. The chase is on outside, followed by Austin hitting him in the head on the way back in. Shawn’s attempt to escape results in his tights being pulled down before Austin backdrops him onto HHH. That doesn’t work for HHH, who whips Austin into the barricade. HHH and Chyna are ejected and things are a lot more even.

Never one to lose a chance to beat someone up, Austin sends HHH into the DX Band set, earning himself a cymbal to the head from Shawn. Back in and Austin hammers away before flipping Shawn over in the corner. An atomic drop of all things gets two and the Stun Gun gets the same. Austin knocks him off the apron and into the announcers’ table, followed by the chinlock back inside.

Shawn fights up but gets sent hard into the post. The fight heads back to the floor, where Austin is sent over the barricade and Shawn clocks him with the ring bell. Back in and Shawn slowly hammers away until Austin fights up with right hands. Shawn is sent over the top for the crash but he’s fine enough to wrap Austin’s knee around the post. They get back inside again with Shawn slowly starting in on the leg but Austin fights back up.

That’s enough for Tyson to offer a distraction though, with Shawn getting in a chop block. The Figure Four has Austin in more trouble be fore finally breaks it up. Austin fights up again and makes another comeback, with the referee getting bumped, leaving Shawn to hit a not so great forearm. There’s the nip up into into the top rope elbow and Shawn loads up the superkick. That doesn’t work as Austin ducks and grabs the Stunner, with Tyson coming in to count the pin for the title at 20:06.

Rating: B. This is one of those matches that has so many details that make things all the more interesting. While it is Austin’s big crowning moment and the start of a new era, there was only so much that could have been done because of Michaels’ injuries. It would have been interesting to see what they could have done at full strength, but the match did the one thing that it needed: Austin hitting the Stunner to win the WWF Title for the first time.

Post match the celebration is on, with JR getting in the all time line of “the Austin Era has begun.” Austin throws Tyson an Austin shirt but Shawn gets up and isn’t happy. He takes the shirt away and tries a right hand, with Tyson easily blocking it and dropping Shawn with a right hand of his own. Tyson and Austin celebrate, confetti falls and the highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. This show is rather weird in a lot of ways, as it might not be the best show in the way of quality, but it was one of the most important shows the company has ever had. First of course there is Austin, whose win took the company into an entirely new era. It’s the definition of a Wrestlemania Moment and it is still played in highlight reels decades later for a reason.

At the same time you have the focus on a much more in your face style, with stuff like the dumpster match and Kane vs. Undertaker being a weird sci-fi soap opera. The last three matches (and the Intercontinental Title to a lesser extent) felt big and that is what they were supposed to do. The first half of the show is only so good, but once this show kicks in, it kicks in hard and the company was off to the races soon after.

Ratings Comparison

Tag Team Battle Royal

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: C-

Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Original: D+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: B
2024 Redo: C+

Marc Mero/Sable vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C-

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: C

New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: B
2024 Redo: C+

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: B-

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: A-
2024 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2024 Redo: B

The match ratings are all over the place compared to the previous editions and the overall rating is the same. Yep that’s one of my reviews.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re wrapping up the period before the Summerslam build here and the card is one sided to put it mildly. The Smackdown side is pretty much Edge challenging HHH for the Smackdown World Title, plus a four way Tag Team Title match. On the other side, Raw has John Cena vs. JBL in a parking lot fight, CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against Batista and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in a grudge match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Vickie Guerrero and Edge’s wedding, plus HHH revealing that Edge cheated on her the night before to end Smackdown. The other big matches get some attention of their own.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Edgeheads vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse and Festus

Miz and Morrison are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Festus clears the ring as tends to be his custom before Hornswoggle comes in for a stare…uh, up. Hornswoggle rolls up his sleeves but opts to dive onto Miz and Morrison instead. We settle down to Jesse monkey flipping Miz and knocking him down again for two. Festus beats on Miz as well before handing it off to Finlay. Morrison comes in and actually takes over on Finlay before bringing Miz back in for a chinlock.

It’s back to Morrison for his own chinlock as JR continues his Morrison to Rick Rude comparisons. Finlay fights up and double legs Miz down before doing the same thing to beat on Morrison. They collide in the corner so Ryder tags himself in to hammer Finlay down. The neck crank doesn’t last long on Finlay so Hawkins comes in to keep Finlay in trouble.

The Celtic Cross hits Hawkins and a shillelagh shot gets two, with Miz and Morrison making the save. Hawkins grabs a chinlock but Finlay is back up again, this time getting over to Hornswoggle to pick up the pace. Jesse tags himself in just as fast though and the fans are not pleased with the lack of Hornswoggle. Hawkins comes back in for a cheap shot on Hornswoggle but it’s back to Festus to really clean house. Miz and Morrison are sent outside and Hawkins breaks up the Rocket Launcher to pin Jesse and win the titles.

Rating: C+. It was a fast paced opener with a bunch of moving parts but they managed to keep the focus on just a few people at a time until the ending. Hawkins and Ryder winning the titles is the right way to go as Miz and Morrison have gotten everything they can out of them and La Familia is still the biggest thing on Smackdown. Give the team some more gold, as it’s not like Jesse and Festus or Hornswoggle/Finlay are worth anything.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and is quickly taken to the mat to start. A small package gives Hardy two as well as a breather but Benjamin is right back with a headlock. That’s reversed into an armbar as they’re certainly starting slowly. Benjamin sends him to the apron for a ram into the post, setting up the armbar back inside. A gutbuster sets up the seated abdominal stretch as commentary talks about Benjamin’s aggression, despite there being nothing to suggest it exists here.

Hardy fights up and tries a Side Effect but gets planted with something like an STO. Back up and Hardy blocks Paydirt to start the comeback and hits the bulldog out of the corner. Hardy’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a heck of a buckle bomb and they’re both down. A Side Effect gives Hardy two but the moonsault…I think it was supposed to hit knees but Hardy overshot it anyway. Paydirt gives Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C. The match was far from bad, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling, as it came off as more of a house show match. The ending didn’t help things either as commentary had to scramble to cover Hardy missing. It’s not like hardy was doing anything with the title anyway so switching it over to Benjamin works as well as anything else.

We see an interview from Monday, with CM Punk talking about how he’s always been the underdog. It’s not about your size or muscle and he’s in the business of proving everyone wrong, which is what he’s always done.

We look at HHH revealing that Edge cheated on Vickie Guerrero the day before their wedding.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is defending and has Tony Atlas in his corner while Dreamer has Colin Delaney. Dreamer charges at him and is quickly shoved into the corner, with Henry throwing him around again for a bonus. A hard clothesline puts Dreamer down again and Henry steps on his head as a few BORING chants start up.

Henry works on the arm (which is code for he leans over and grabs the wrist), Dreamer fights up, Henry takes him down and works on the arm again. The splash misses though and Dreamer hits the basement dropkick but has to escape the World’s Strongest Slam. The DDT puts Henry down and Dreamer goes up for no apparent reason, allowing Delaney to pull him down. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam to retain.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of everything that is wrong with ECW. First of all, there was no reason to believe Dreamer was going to take the title. He hasn’t been nearly that important for a long time now and it wasn’t going to change here. Second, the Delaney turn doesn’t mean much as he’s a loser who didn’t exactly become a star when he was with Dreamer. Third, the match was really boring, which is quite ECW in a lot of ways. Rather dull stuff here and by far the worst thing on the show.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels, and thank goodness as the show needs it. Jericho claimed Michaels is a hypocrite (and was kind of right) and then took out his eye. Now Michaels is back for revenge and to prove that no matter what Jericho does, Michaels will always be better.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

They lock up to start and thankfully drop that in all of two seconds to start hitting each other in the face. Shawn gets the better of things with some chops and knocks Jericho into the corner before going after the leg. The reverse Figure Four has Jericho in early trouble but he’s in the ropes pretty quickly. Shawn stays on the leg and the referee stops things for a second to check on Jericho in the corner.

Jericho is fine enough to send Shawn over the corner and out to the apron, with Shawn favoring his back. The knee is fine enough to hit a triangle dropkick out to the floor before Jericho takes him inside for a double arm crank. With that broken up, Jericho dives into an atomic drop and Shawn drops him with the flying forearm. Shawn nips up but Jericho pulls him straight into the Walls, which is counter you don’t see very often.

This time Shawn makes the rope so Jericho loads up the bulldog, only to get dropped with a clothesline for two. The top rope elbow is broken up but Shawn wins a fight on top and now the elbow connects. Cue Lance Cade to break up the superkick but Shawn blocks the Codebreaker. They slug it out again until Shawn hiptosses him out onto Cade for the big crash. Naturally Shawn is right there with a moonsault onto the two of them and everyone is down again.

Back in and Shawn’s bad eye is busted open, with commentary not being sure when it was cut. Naturally Jericho goes right after the eye and knocks him into the ropes, where Cade gets in the cheap shot. The very bloody Shawn manages to pull him into a crossface but Jericho pulls him into the buckle for the violent escape. The referee wants to stop it but Shawn begs him not to, meaning Jericho is right back on the eye. Shawn is COVERED in blood and does the “pull myself up on the other guy’s tights” spot, only to have Jericho punch him down again and hammer away….until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but there is almost no one better than Shawn at making you think he was dying in front of your eyes. Shawn was trying to fight and was still in there until the injury flared up again, along with Cade offering the distraction. This felt like the big middle piece in a bigger story and they pulled me in with the emotion and hatred. Awesome match and we’re almost certainly not done yet.

We get the emotional exit for Shawn, who has to be helped out.

Edge is really not pleased with HHH for violating his privacy and taking away his personal life. All Edge has left is his professional life and tonight, he will be extra dangerous.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

For the inaugural title but commentary is to busy talking about Edge/Vickie Guerrero. They grapple to the mat to start as commentary compares McCool to softball star Jennie Finch. Natalya wheelbarrow drops her throat first over the top to take over and we hit the surfboard to stay on McCool’s….well various parts. McCool powers out so Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up as well and this time McCool pulls her into the heel hook for the title.

Rating: C-. These two were in the death slot as there was almost no way they were going to be able to follow the previous match. It doesn’t help that the match was almost a Natalya squash until McCool got in her one hold for the win. It’s rather nice for the women on Smackdown to have something to do, but they could use some more blood in the division or it is going to turn old fast.

Post match here is Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying you need to save your ticket stubs because this is the night of Shawn Michaels’ last match. Shawn has a detached retina and that means his career is over. It shows that the good guys win and the wicked are punished and the worst has finally come for Shawn. Jericho was feeling the evil here and it worked.

We recap CM Punk defending the World Title against Batista. Punk won Money In The Bank and used it to become champion, meaning he needs to prove himself worthy. Batista doesn’t seem to be overly intimidated so Punk is extra motivated.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and we go old school with a weapons check. Batista powers him around to start and Punk realizes he might need another plan. Some kicks to the legs slow Batista down but he elbows Punk in the face to cut him off. An enziguri knocks Batista outside and Punk follows him outside with a suicide dive.

Back in and Punk strikes away, only to be run over to give Batista two. The camel clutch goes on to keep Punk in trouble, which is broken up as camel clutches tend to be. Punk gets up a shot to the face in the corner and hits a high crossbody for two. The Batista Bomb is countered but a powerslam isn’t, meaning Punk has to counter the Bomb again.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but can’t hit the GTS, instead settling for the springboard clothesline. The Anaconda Vice (been a minute since Punk used that) is broken up and Batista hits a heck of a clothesline. Batista’s charge hits the post and he falls outside, where he is able to catch a diving Punk with a spinebuster. Cue Kane to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were starting to get somewhere but then just stopped for the DQ ending. This is either setting up a triple threat (erg) or Punk vs. Batista II, but Punk needs to win something on a big stage. It was bad enough that he got the title via Money In The Bank, but he’s lucky to crack the top five stars on Raw. This didn’t help things, though I guess Batista needed to be kept strong. Granted that makes me wonder why he was in the match in the first place, but I can picture Vince’s “oh it’s fine” face from here so we’ll move o.

Post match Kane lays out Punk, Batista, and a production worker. With Kane gone, Batista hits the Batista Bomb on Punk to make things even worse for the champ. Somehow this is a double DQ, despite Kane not touching Punk before the bell.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. With Vince McMahon gone, JBL has declared martial law but Cena isn’t having it. Now they’re going to fight in a parking lot.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is taking place in the parking lot in a circle of cars and JBL shows up in his limo, fighting in most of a suit. There’s no Cena to start so JBL gets on a hood, only to have Cena pop up in another car and ram into him. Cena chokes him with a cord and then slams a car hood onto JBL’s back. Some jumper cables to the crotch set up some electrocution and JBL screams a lot.

JBL is put on another hood and Cena throws a well placed keg, only to hit windshield. With JBL trying to drive away, Cena grabs him for some rams into the horn. JBL fights back to little avail but manages to whip Cena through a car door, knocking it off the hinges. Cena gets punched off a car for two and then sent through the windshield of another for the big crash.

A crowbar shot misses for JBL and Cena slugs away but JBL sends him through a window. With nothing else working, JBL goes to grab some gasoline (with his limo rolling away) and douses one of the cars (with Cena inside). The car is lit on fire and promptly extinguished, with an annoyed looking Cena getting out. JBL goes over to a forklift but Cena is there to send him into another car.

Now Cena gets in the forklift and gores said car, only to lift it up and carry it into the arena. Commentary kicks in as Cena knocks JBL around and plants him with the ProtoBomb onto the stage. Cena loads up the FU but walks JBL over to the edge of the stage, only to take too long as JBL slips off. JBL sends him off the stage and through a windshield for the upset win.

Rating: C-. This was quite the situation and I wasn’t wild on most of it. They had a bunch of slow brawling in the back with car stuff before coming to the arena for a few minutes. JBL had to get a win of some sort but egads this means we’re going to have to hear him talk even more, which is about as painful of a thought as I can imagine. Not exactly great here, but what are you expecting from JBL?

We recap Edge vs. HHH for the latter’s Smackdown World Title. Vickie Guerrero gave Edge the title shot before their wedding but then Edge cheated on her the day before said wedding, with HHH revealing Edge’s, uh, indiscretion. Now it’s about the title, though Edge is more than a bit distracted.

HHH has no regrets over what he did.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

HHH is defending and we get the Big Match Intros with a weapons check. Edge charges right at him and hammers away but gets sent outside. HHH sends him outside and grabs a neck snap across the top. A ram int the buckle has Edge on the floor again but he knocks a diving HHH out of the air. Back in and Edge hits the running shoulder in the corner before sending him outside for a whip into the steps.

A drop onto the announcers’ table keeps HHH’s ribs in trouble and Edge grabs a bodyscissors back inside. HHH fights up but gets dropkicked to the apron, where he sidesteps a spear to send Edge crashing to the floor. Back in and HHH slugs away before they go outside (again) with Edge going into the post. Edge is right back up though and grabs the Impaler on the floor, which means a rather delayed cover gets two.

HHH hits his own DDT for his own two but the Pedigree is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. The spear only hits buckle but Edge’s big boot only hits HHH’s jaw, leaving them both down again. Back up and the spear is countered into the spinebuster to give HHH a much needed breather. The Pedigree is countered again, this time with a ram into the corner. Edge takes him up top for a superplex but here is wedding planner Alicia Fox to send in the title. Cue Vickie Guerrero to take Alicia down and the catfight is on in the ring. The spear hits Vickie by mistake, allowing HHH to grab the Pedigree for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. It was good but they never came close to hitting that really high level. At the same time, it didn’t help that this was more about the Vickie/Edge stuff, with the title just kind of being there on the side. These two feel like they should have had their first big match on a more important show, but at least what they got to do here did work. It just could have been a pretty good bit better.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a perfectly fine show that should have been better than it was. There were some big matches on the card and those matches worked, but the lower card stuff is completely forgettable, even with three new champions being crowned. It’s a show where things happened, but it’s not a show that felt important. Instead, it came off like a “the big one is next time”, which doesn’t make for the most enjoyable event.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2008
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Somehow it’s been about three months since I’ve done one of these. It’s the last Raw before the Great American Bash and the big match on the Raw side will see Batista challenging CM Punk for the World Title. Other than that, JBL continues to think he runs the show and it’s still not quite interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, with Batista becoming the #1 contender for CM Punk’s World Title. Then Kane snapped and went all evil (again), this time attacking Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole.

Shane and Stephanie McMahon want us to all pull together to get through the times without Vince McMahon around. If things don’t get better, actions will be taken.

We go to the arena where Shawn Michaels is attacking Chris Jericho before Jericho can say anything. Lance Cade runs in for the save to get Jericho out of harm’s way.

With the three of them gone, here is Kane, complete with a small bag. Kane leans over the commentary table and says he’s sorry as the fans chant for Lawler. Then Kane walks off without getting physical.

In the back, Shawn Michaels has attacked Chris Jericho again and it has to be broken up.

Mickie James vs. Katie Lea

Non-title and Paul Burchill is here with Katie. Mickie grabs some early rollups for two each but the hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked. Katie pulls her around by the hair for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. We’ll make that a regular chinlock but Mickie is right back up. Mickie’s tornado DDT is blocked but now the hurricanrana works. The top rope Thesz press puts Katie away.

Rating: C-. Katie’s time seems to have come and gone, which is a shame as there is always the place for a British villain. Mickie is in need of some fresh challengers as she has been champion for awhile and no one seems to be giving her a threat. Granted that is likely to wind up being Beth Phoenix, as there isn’t anyone else who feels like they are on Mickie’s level.

Post match Paul and Katie go after Mickie until Kofi Kingston makes the save. It would have been rude for him not to make a save after Paul looked over his shoulder that many times.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Kingston is defending, the women are still here and we’re joined in progress with Kingston hitting a jumping elbow. A small package gives Kingston two before he grabs an armbar. An armdrag sets up another armbar as they’ve certainly slowed down a bit. Back up and Kofi’s dropkick gets two and it’s right back to the armbar.

Burchill fights up again and kicks him out of the corner for two, setting up a waistlock. A gutbuster and backsplash give Burchill two but Kingston fights out of another waistlock. Kingston’s Russian legsweep sets up the Boom Drop but here is Katie on the apron. That’s broken up by Mickie and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C. This was mostly armbars and waistlocks, which didn’t exactly make for an entertaining match. Other than that it was Kingston beating someone who didn’t feel like much of a threat. That being said, Kingston needs to pile up some wins to make himself feel more like a champion so giving him another win helps as much as anything else.

Santino Marella tells Matt Striker about his open challenge tonight. Cue Kane to ask about CM Punk. Santino: “Did you try the Pepsi machine?”

Post break Kane goes up to CM Punk, saying deep down inside, he knows someone is dead. Punk doesn’t know what is going on but Kane wants him tonight, one on one. Punk isn’t sure but Kane says this isn’t about the title. As usual, Punk is down for a challenge and the match is on. Punk asks about the bag Kane is carrying but Kane clutches it closer and leaves without saying anything.

A serious John Cena talks about how Vince McMahon is not here and he is trying to keep a good face on. Then JBL challenged him to a New York City Parking Lot Brawl and Cena can’t smile anymore. For those of you who don’t know what it’s about, it’s a war instead of a match. The two of them will be fighting in a circle of cars in a parking lot and anything goes. It’s about breaking bones and ripping flesh and we will find out if a man’s pride will fold. The question is why Cena would accept such a challenge but the reality is he and JBL don’t like each other.

Cena is down for one more fight at the Great American Bash because JBL considers himself a great American, which makes Cena sick. He’s happy to try to break some of JBL’s bones and send the face of a great American through every window he can find. Cena wants to see some real fear from JBL because this isn’t a fight with some pretty boy. Extreme violence is promised and here is Cryme Tyme to stand beside Cena, who accepts the challenge. As for tonight, let’s make it a six man with JBL finding any two partners he can.

Santino Marella vs. ???

It’s open challenge time and here is….Beth Phoenix to answer. They fight over a lockup to start until Beth shows him a double bicep. Beth takes him down and hammers away before easily powering out of a headlock. A slam gives Beth two but Santino shouts about being a man, only to miss a charge into the corner. That’s enough for Beth to grab a rollup for the fast pin, leaving Santino rather flummoxed.

Here is Kelly Kelly for a match but Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase interrupt. They know she has a match tonight….but they don’t care so she can leave. Cody talks about how the two of them have gotten a lot of unfair criticisms but they’re not bad guys. They’re just better than their fathers. When you’re this talented, you don’t need to pay dues. Imagine what happens when they enter their primes.

Cue Jim Duggan of all people to interrupt, saying he knows their dads. They’re old school, just like him. The difference is the old school people respected the generations that paved the way for them. DiBiase and Rhodes are better athletes, but they have a lot of growing up to do. Cody says Duggan might be on to something but Cody calls out Duggan for being 54 years old and trying to relive some glory days which weren’t that glorious in the first place.

DiBiase asks if Duggan thinks he still has what it takes anymore, when he’s really just here looking for a reaction. Duggan is the one who needs to grow up, and the two of them leave. JBL pops up on the screen to say they have earned the right to team with him in the main event. They’re in.

CM Punk vs. Kane

Non-title. Kane chokes him into the corner to start but Punk kicks his way to freedom. Punk manages to kick him out to the floor, where Kane cuts off a slide to take over again. The basement dropkick gives Kane two and we hit the cravate. We’ll make that a chinlock until Punk fights up and strikes away. A series of kicks sends Kane into the corner but the bulldog out of it is broken up. Instead Punk hits a heck of a kick to the head for one and a high crossbody gets two. Kane knocks him outside where Punk grabs a bulldog, which is enough to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C+. That was about as good of a way out as they had as Kane is the new monster and Punk is the new champion so there was only so much they could have done. At the same time it might have been better to not make the match in the first place, but at least Punk didn’t lose. Punk is always going to fight from behind and winning by countout is about as good as he can get in this spot.

Post match Kane throws in a bunch of chairs and wraps one around Punk’s neck but Batista makes the save. Batista helps Punk up so Punk offers him a handshake, but Batista wants the title. Batista gives him a not so nice slap on the face so Punk shoves, earning himself a spinebuster.

We look back at John Cena and Cryme Tyme destroying JBL’s limo last week.

Chris Jericho vs. Paul London

Lance Cade is here with Jericho, who pounds London into the corner and hits a running boot to the head. London gets sent outside in a heap before Jericho chokes on the ropes back inside. A spinwheel kick gives London a breather but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho hits a butterfly backbreaker and calls out Shawn Michaels before grabbing the Liontamer for the fast tap.

Post match Jericho says London can take that loss like he would and learn from it, or take it like Shawn Michaels and do nothing. Cue Shawn to say nothing will change between them and teasing more violence.

Jamie Noble hits on Layla, suggesting that they can be the Raw power couple. Layla says she doesn’t date short men but Noble says he’s way above average in the ring. Noble offers to jump the next guy who comes through here so cue Snitsky to tell him to be quiet. Layla isn’t impressed so Noble stands up to Snitsky. Even Layla realizes this is stupid as Noble calls Snitsky out to the ring. They wind up in said ring and a pumphandle slam leaves Noble laying.

We get the Shane/Stephanie McMahon plea for unity from earlier tonight.

Great American Bash rundown.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. John Cena/Cryme Tyme

Cena and Rhodes start things off with Cena slugging him into a corner but glaring at JBL. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Cody Rhodes again, setting up another glare. Shad comes in for a release butterfly suplex to DiBiase so it’s back to Rhodes to kick away at JTG. Rhodes makes the mistake of telling JTG to shine his shoes and gets taken down with a Sling Blade for his troubles.

JBL comes in and is smart enough to taunt Cena in, meaning we get some double choking in the corner. JTG’s comeback is cut off by a dropkick to the knee and the villains get to take over on said knee. The leglock goes on and we take a break with JTG in more trouble. Back with JBL hitting a hard clothesline and the slow beating continuing.

Rhodes goes old school with a spinning toehold until JTG kicks him away, which still isn’t enough to get over for the tag. JTG finally gets away and brings Cena back in to pick the pace way up. JBL bails and it’s an FU to DiBiase into the Throwback to Rhodes. Cena’s top rope Fameasser hits Rhodes but JBL is back to break up the STFU…for the DQ. That’s a pretty lame reason for a DQ but sure enough. Even Lawler doesn’t seem sure why that was a DQ.

Rating: C-. This was slow and not exactly good, with the ending feeling like a rather pitiful way out. It’s not a good sign when commentary is confused about what happened, even when it should have been pretty clear. I get that you don’t want a champion jobbing, but JBL couldn’t have used a chair or something a little more violent? Other than that, it was a rather long heat segment on JTG and that wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match JBL walks off and taunts Cena to follow him to the back. Cena gives chase and realizes he has to go into the parking lot (where a camera happens to be waiting). Then he stands around a lot in total silence until JBL finally jumps him from behind with something metal. JBL sits the unconscious Cena in front of a car and crushes him, then gets out and realizes what he’s done to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t quite thrilled with this show as the focus was on Cena vs. JBL, which hasn’t been an interesting feud in a long time. The World Champion feels like a third wheel behind the battling John’s and Shawn vs. Jericho. There is some good stuff going on closer to the top of the card, but my goodness the lower part of the show isn’t exactly holding the rest of it up.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2018
Date: January 28, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,629
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since this show as I can barely remember most of the card. This show features the first ever all women’s Royal Rumble, which really is quite the milestone. Now of course they had to bring in a bunch of legends/former wrestlers who aren’t legends but are called such to fill in the lineup, but there are worse things to do. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Kalisto/Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado vs. TJP/Jack Gallagher/Drew Gulak

They aren’t the Lucha House Party yet but they’re the Lucha House Party. As usual, the arena is still mostly empty because we need to be having a match an hour and a half before the show starts. Kalisto and Gulak start things off with a weak POWERPOINT chant annoying Drew. The announcers talk about the upcoming 205 Live General Manager as Kalisto twists the knee around into something like a reverse Figure Four. Gulak rolls out so it’s Metalik and Gallagher (in his suit of course) coming in instead.

A quick takedown sends Gallagher outside where he insists a fan not boo him. TJP comes in and that earns him a triple dab from the House Party. We settle down to TJP and Dorado exchanging wristlocks until Kalisto comes in for a headlock. The pace picks up again but this time it’s Gulak coming in and flying over the top to the floor. All three luchadors get on the top and it’s a triple moonsault to the floor to pop the dozens of fans in attendance.

Back from a break with TJP dropkicking Dorado out of the air so the heat segment can begin. Gallagher hits a surfboard double stomp on the knees and it’s off to a leg crank. Gulak stomps away and it’s back to TJP to look annoyed at Dorado for not staying down. Instead it’s Gallagher going to the middle rope and looking terrified, allowing Dorado to roll away. After a quick lecture, Gulak comes in as Metalik gets the hot tag to pick up the pace. The rope walk elbow gets two as everything breaks down. The double Golden Rewind sets up a big double dive from Metalik for two on Gulak. A quick Salida Del Sol finishes TJP at 13:13.

Rating: C. For the life of me I don’t get the point in having these matches this early. There’s no one there and while the action was fine, it’s not like there’s anyone to react to them. They had a nice match here though with the dives taking them wherever they wanted to go. 205 Live was still figuring out a bunch of things but the match worked well enough because people who can fly around are always going to be worth a look.

The crowd has filled in now.

Kickoff Show: Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs Revival

What a lack of a difference a year makes. Revival is fresh off getting beaten up by a bunch of legends Dawson chops at Anderson in the corner until a dropkick gets him out of trouble. Dawson makes a tag from the floor (not sure if you can do that) and the distraction lets him rake Gallows’ eyes, though it doesn’t really do much. The threat of a right hand sends Revival outside and we take a break. Back with Dawson snapping Anderson’s knee over the middle rope to give the Revival a target.

Anderson gets double teamed in the corner as the announcers ignore the match to talk about Brock Lesnar. The leglocking begins so Anderson kicks him square in the jaw for the break. That’s always going to work but it’s not enough to get the hot tag off to Gallows. Another kick away allows the tag to Gallows so the pace can pick up. House is cleaned but the Magic Killer is broken up as Anderson comes back in for some reason. Anderson is fine enough to hit a kick to the head in the corner, only to have a chop block finish Anderson at 9:14.

Rating: C. Another match that only served as filler for the sake of filling time, which is one of the most annoying things you can have. It’s a match that didn’t need to exist and only served to burn off a little more of the crowd’s energy before we get to the matches that actually matter. The match was fine, though just another match that didn’t serve much of a purpose.

Kickoff Show: US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley

Open challenge it seems. Roode is defending, having won the title less than two weeks ago. Before the match, Roode talks about winning the title and being the Glorious One. Rawley plants him with a shoulder but Roode is right back with a hard clothesline. A Russian legsweep gets two but it’s way too early for a Glorious DDT. Instead Rawley sends him outside and into the barricade for two as we take a break. Back with Roode still in trouble as Rawley drives knees into the ribs.

We hit the chinlock until Roode belly to back suplexes his way to freedom. The Blockbuster is countered but Roode slips off and grabs a neckbreaker for two more. Now the Blockbuster gets two but the Glorious DDT is broken up again. A spinebuster gives Rawley two and he sends Roode shoulder first into the post. The running right hand is blocked with a boot though and the (not very) Glorious DDT retains the title at 7:37.

Rating: D+. I for one am very glad that we had to sit through this as well, with Roode barely breaking a sweat to retain the title in a match that was never in doubt. Roode isn’t exactly thrilling as a face but even worse is the fact that he got stuck with the US Title of Death, which has hurt just about everyone it’s touched for a long time now.

The opening video talks about the opportunity for all, both in the Royal Rumbles and in the triple threat. Thankfully the rest of the card gets some time as well, even if Brock Lesnar still looms over everyone.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Owens and Zayn are challenging in a handicap match as part of the Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon love/hate Owens/Zayn story which was more about Shane than anyone else. I miss Sami’s heel stuff as he really is someone you want to see get punched in the face. Owens lets Sami start but he tags right back out. It’s another tag a few seconds later as they’re clearly filling in time here. That’s not a complaint as there’s only so much that can be realistically done in a match like this.

AJ takes Owens down without much effort so Kevin slides to the floor and tags Sami in from the floor to a rather nice reaction. Sami headlocks AJ for little avail as Saxton GOES OFF on Graves in the most emotional outburst I’ve ever heard from him. A cheap shot lets Owens take over on AJ with a hard whip into the corner getting two. They head outside (Owens: “We’ll play outside!”) with AJ being whipped ribs first into the barricade.

Back in and Sami grabs a quickly broken chinlock, allowing AJ to come back up slugging away at Owens. A missed Cannonball in the corner bangs up Owens’ knee to put him down for a bit, allowing AJ to pull Sami off the top for a breather. Owens tries to come back in but can’t do much on the knee, meaning it’s back to Sami who charges into a boot in the corner.

The moonsault into the reverse DDT plants Sami but Owens is back up again. This time he throws AJ out of the corner but Styles catches Sami in a hurricanrana to send him outside. AJ grabs the Calf Crusher on Owens until Sami dives in for save. Owens, with his knee fine in a hurry, misses a charge into the post but is still able to superkick AJ into the Blue Thunder Bomb for a close two. Not exactly Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree in the Cell but not bad. Important note: Sami had pinned AJ with the Blue Thunder Bomb earlier in the week, so the move was suddenly a threat. The little things like that can go a long way.

AJ slips out of a superplex attempt and scores with the Phenomenal Forearm to Sami as Owens makes a save. Sami dives over to Owens for a tag and gets sent outside, leaving Owens’ Pop Up Powerbomb to be countered into a rollup to retain AJ’s title at 15:50. The replay shows that Sami might not have actually tagged, meaning AJ pinned the wrong man.

Rating: C+. This was only going to be so good as you can only make AJ be so much of an underdog before he wins. Owens and Zayn are a great heel act but they just lost almost clean to one guy. Yeah it’s AJ Styles, but that’s not exactly the best way to present them. It doesn’t help that it’s just part of a story involving Shane McMahon as a screwy boss, but you know we’re not escaping him anymore.

Wrestlemania ad. I forgot how sick I got of that song.

Sami and Kevin complain to Shane about what happened and he really doesn’t care.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin

Gable and Benjamin are challenging and this is 2/3 falls. Before the match, the Usos yell a lot about this being their house and how they’re going to win in the Uso Penitentiary. Shelton shoulders Jey down to start and Jey seems rather pleased. Gable comes in but a blind tag lets Jey come in and break up Rolling Chaos Theory. The challengers take a break on the floor before a chop block takes Jimmy’s knee out.

Shelton hits one of his own and it’s time to really work the knee over with a Robinsdale Crunch into a regular leglock. Some stereo running knees to the face drop Jimmy again and the charge continues to knock Jey off the apron as a bonus. Since WWE tends to do the same things over and over, the hot tag comes through a few seconds alter, allowing Jey to speed things up and hit a big dive to the floor.

Back in and a running hip attack in the corner looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Gable is up just in time. Some rollups get two as Shelton comes back in to load up a powerbomb. Chad has to dropkick Jimmy down instead though, leaving Shelton to powerbomb Jey into Jimmy instead. A good looking moonsault to the floor drops both Usos, though it’s not exactly enough to wake the fans up.

Rating: D+. The action wasn’t bad but what in the world was the point of the 2/3 falls stipulation? This was a watchable match but it wasn’t anything more than and the fans really didn’t care. I’m not sure what they were going for here and given that the whole show went over four hours, this really could have been cut to shave off nearly twenty minutes total.

Rumble By The Numbers. That never gets old.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals here, which has hit and miss results. Rusev is in at #1 and Finn Balor is in at #2. Aiden English does Rusev’s intro to a very, very strong reaction. You knew Philadelphia would be a Rusev Day town. Rusev wastes no time in trying to dumb Balor but has to take him down for an elbow instead. The running spinwheel kick cuts Balor off again and it’s Rhyno in at #3. Makes sense in the ECW Arena and I could go for Lawler making fun of ECW forever. Rhyno starts cleaning house and it’s already time for the ECW chants. Clotheslines abound until Rusev spinwheel kicks Rhyno down as well.

Baron Corbin is in at #4 because I couldn’t even avoid him back then. Corbin cleans a bit of the house and catches a charging Rhyno with Deep Six. That’s enough to toss Rhyno but Balor dumps Corbin a few seconds later to get us back to two. Corbin isn’t cool with that and pulls Balor to the floor (not eliminated) for a whip into the barricade. Rusev takes End of Days and everyone is down. Heath Slater is in at #5 and gets dropped on the ramp to put everyone down again.

Elias, with guitar of course, is in at #6 and since everyone is down, let’s have a song! See, now this makes some sense and is a proper way to fill in some time and keep things fresh. After a kick to Slater on the way down the ramp, Elias confirms that the people do indeed want to walk with Elias. You always have to make sure of course. The song is about spitting in the face of the Rocky Statue (TOO FAR!) but the countdown clock cuts him off and it’s Andrade Cien Almas (NXT Champion with Zelina Vega) in at #7. Now that’s a nice move and having it happen the night after he won a classic match makes it even better.

Almas wastes no time in hitting the running knees in the corner but the hammerlock DDT is broken up. Bray Wyatt is in at #8 and walks rather to the ring rather quickly. Before he gets in, he beats Slater up on the floor and sends him into the barricade, meaning Slater still hasn’t gotten in yet. Balor gets up and saves Elias from Sister Abigail but gets knocked down as it’s all Wyatt. Big E. is in at #9 but first, we need to have some pancakes. A single belly to belly drops Wyatt, only to have Rusev pop up with a superkick to Big E.

Tye Dillinger somehow gets #10 again….but hang on a second as Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens jumps him from behind so Sami can take his spot (while knocking Slater down again to continue the running gag). That gives us Rusev, Balor, Slater (on the floor), Elias, Almas, Wyatt, Big E. and Zayn. Nothing of note happens until Sheamus is in at #11 and he even throws Slater inside….and gets clotheslined out just as fast. Sheamus’ shocked face is rather good, though the fans aren’t happy when Wyatt eliminates Slater a few seconds later. Everyone is down again until Xavier Woods is in at #12 so 2/3 of New Day can start to clean house, thereby waking the crowd up a bit.

The fans get way into the countdown as Apollo Crews is in at #13, which should kill the crowd all over again. I’m not sure why they’re so quiet here but maybe they’re waiting for the big finish instead. Again not much happens and it’s Shinsuke Nakamura at #14 to fill up the ring even more. The fans are into Nakamura as he starts cleaning house, including the running knee in the corner to get rid of Zayn for old times’ sake.

Cesaro is in at #15 and gets to clean house as the fans get behind Rusev. They’re quite fickle in Philadelphia. Kofi Kingston is in at #16 and the New Day is at full strength. Apollo nearly gorilla presses Cesaro out but gets sent to the apron himself, allowing Cesaro to uppercut him out. Jinder Mahal is in at #17 because we’re just that lucky. Woods dropkicks him into the corner but gets knocked off the top for the elimination. We didn’t even get anything from the full New Day in the whole thing?

Mahal gets rid of Big E. as well and it’s Seth Rollins in at #18 to a nice reaction. Rollins monkey flips Cesaro out as at least they’re keeping the eliminations flowing. Mahal goes to dump Kofi but Woods is still on the floor, meaning Kofi can land on him instead of the floor. Big E. offers a plate of pancakes for the other foot and a nice case of hopping lets Kofi get back in, complete with Big E. and Woods launching him back in. Trouble in Paradise eliminates Mahal and it’s time to cover him in pancakes. With the celebration rolling, Almas hits Kofi with the hammerlock DDT to get rid of Kofi.

Woken Matt Hardy is in at #19 (King: “Oh brother.”) and he goes straight for Elias with the rams into the corner. Matt and Bray get together and eliminate Rusev, much to the fans’ annoyance. That’s it for the teamwork as they slug it out and then eliminate each other to really clear the ring a bit. John Cena is in at #20, giving us Balor, Elias, Almas, Nakamura, Rollins and Cena. The other five are waiting for Cena and stomp him down, because they’re rather smart. They don’t go for the elimination though, because their intelligence is short sighted.

Cena dumps Elias (because Cena always ruins Elias’ night) and the Hurricane is in at #21, much to Cena’s shock. The Hurri-chokeslam is easily countered into an AA to get rid of Hurricane, who is shocked as well. Aiden English is in at #22 but the fans would rather argue about Cena. Adam Cole, with bad ribs, is in at #23 and you know these fans are going to like him. Balor (hey he’s still in this) eliminates English and it’s Randy Orton in at #24. Cena shrugs off an RKO attempt so Almas takes it instead and gets thrown out as the amount of entrants stays at a nice pace.

Titus O’Neil is in at #25 but no one seems worried about him. At least they know their history. Titus does actually beat up Nakamura in the corner as Cena and Orton have their contractually obligated fight until Intercontinental Champion The Miz is in at #26. That means house can be cleaned, including the YES Kicks to Rollins and Cena. A Skull Crushing Finale keeps Cena down but Rollins superkicks Miz.

Rey Mysterio makes a surprise appearance at lucky #27, marking his first appearance with the company since the night after Wrestlemania XXX. The pace gets to pick up and Cole is eliminated off a headscissors. Miz eats a 619 and it’s Roman Reigns in at #28 to tick the fans off in a bad way. Almost everyone gets a right hand until it’s a showdown with Miz, who took Reigns’ Intercontinental Title on Raw earlier in the week.

Dolph Ziggler is in at #30 (Cole: “I thought he retired or something!” This was after Ziggler vacated the US Title and walked out without ever mentioning what he was doing. And now he’s right back, apparently saying that the US Title means nothing. Anyway the final group is Balor, Nakamura, Cena, Orton, Mysterio, Reigns, Goldust and Ziggler. Cena tries an AA on Ziggler, who flips out and lands on his leg, which probably should have counted as full on impact. Goldust scores with the snap powerslam but Ziggler easily puts him out with a superkick.

Some tuning up the band takes too long though and Ziggler is knocked to the apron so Balor can knock him out. They vacated the title to give Ziggler a two minute cameo. Well done indeed. We’re down to six and that’s a CRAZY deep field, with Nakamura being the least successful in WWE. Balor takes an AA and it’s a 619 to Reigns, followed by an RKO to Nakamura (Lawler: “COVER HIM! COVER HIM! Oh wait….”).

Reigns gets up with a Superman Punch to Orton for an elimination but it’s Mysterio with a double 619 to Reigns and Cena. Balor breaks up a springboard though and Mysterio is out to leave us with four. Everyone is down in a corner until it’s Cena vs. Nakamura and Reigns vs. Balor. Nakamura and Balor are knocked down so it’s a Reigns vs. Cena showdown but nothing happens before the other two are right back up. Nakamura’s running knee in the corner rocks Balor but he gets back in, only to get kicked square in the head.

Reigns is back up for a save this time and NOW we get Reigns vs. Cena for the big showdown. The slugout goes to Reigns but Balor gets up and starts firing off Sling Blades. Kinshasa is cut off with a running double stomp from Balor, only to have Cena pop up and throw Balor out to get us down to three. A Superman Punch puts Nakamura down but he’s right back up to kick Cena to the apron. Another knee sends Cena to the floor and we’re down to Nakamura vs. Reigns. I think you know who the fans are behind here.

They slug it out in the middle and it’s a Superman Punch to put Nakamura in trouble. Nakamura is sent to the apron but comes back with a triangle choke over the ropes. That’s rather stupid, though it’s also broken up with a powerbomb. The spear is cut off by a kick to the face and the middle rope knee to the face drops Reigns. Kinshasa gets blocked by a tackle to the face (called a spear) but the second attempt works just fine. Reigns is out on his feet and Nakamura tosses him out for the win at 1:05:29.

Rating: B-. This is one where you’re going to have to think about things for a bit. First and foremost, the winner is a fine choice. Nakamura hadn’t broken through yet and this is the kind of win that can help him do that (it didn’t, but it could have). Second, the last fifteen minutes or so with the final group was great stuff and full of drama as you could see anyone winning.

The problem is everything else, which isn’t terrible but it’s also not too great. The first part barely meant anything with just Balor being there from the beginning until the end. There were a few nice surprises and it doesn’t drag terribly or anything, but you really could skip about the first half hour and not miss much. It’s a completely watchable Rumble but it’s in the middle of the pack at best.

Post match Nakamura (or Shin as Cole keeps calling him because WWE likes to make Cole sound like an idiot) picks AJ Styles for Wrestlemania to really pop the crowd. Sounds awesome to me and for the most part, it was.

Next year’s Rumble is in Phoenix.

The bosses of the show trade bragging barbs. Watching a year later, I can’t believe how stupid these look now. WWE really thinks that we care about these stupid battling brand arguments. I have no idea why, but but that’s been their narrative for years. Stephanie says that no matter who wins the Women’s Royal Rumble, everyone will be surprised. That’s some nice foreshadowing.

We look at the KFC Colonel Sanders Rumble, with Ric Flair reenacting the 1992 Royal Rumble to win the whole thing. I still think this is some fever dream that they managed to record.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins

Jordan and Rollins are defending after winning the belts on Christmas night. It’s pretty clear that Jordan is filling in for the injured Dean Ambrose and that’s not a bad thing. Rollins and Cesaro start things off with Rolling taking over off a flying mare (you don’t see that one very often). It’s off to Sheamus but a quick Cesaro distraction prevents Jordan from coming in, meaning Rollins is driven back into the corner.

An enziguri gets Rollins a breather as the crowd is eerily silent. Cesaro breaks up the hot tag attempt to Jordan and sends him into the post, leaving Rollins to hit a suicide dive on both challengers. The medics are out checking on Jordan, though that might be making sure he doesn’t fall asleep. Cesaro grabs a chinlock, which is the last thing this match could possibly need. Rollins fights up and tries the springboard but gets clotheslined down by Cesaro.

A Demolition Decapitator and a double backbreaker give the Bar two each and Rollins is in big trouble. Sheamus misses a charge into the post though, giving Rollins a breather as Jordan is STILL down. Rollins gets the Blockbuster on Cesaro, followed by the Falcon Arrow for two. Super White Noise is broken up and Jordan is finally on the apron for a tag. He immediately grabs his head though and tags himself out. That’s fine with the Bar, as the spike White Noise gets the titles back at 12:50.

Rating: D. As you probably guessed, this was Jordan’s last “match”. I know he wasn’t the most thrilling guy in the world, but he was getting the hang of things until his neck just gave out on him and there was no coming back. At least he got a nice run and there’s a very real chance that he could get back in the ring one day. It’s not exactly fair to call the match bad….but it was really quite bad and the fans were just gone in a terrible way.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network.

We recap the Universal Title match. Brock Lesnar is a monster, two other monsters are challenging for his title, Braun Strowman is really strong and broke some stuff.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman

Lesnar is defending. Braun starts fast with running splashes in the corner and a running dropkick to Brock, followed by a knee to his head. Brock then UNLOADS on Strowman with right hands which look a lot like receipts from a former UFC Heavyweight Champion rather than working punches. Lesnar shouts something that sounds like SLOW DOWN as Kane gets back up. Brock grabs a chair which is knocked into his face, followed by a toss out to the floor.

Some shots with the steps put Lesnar and Kane down and it’s time for a pair of tables inside. With one set up in the corner, Strowman chokeslams Kane for two with Lesnar making the save. Three rolling German suplexes….don’t do much to Strowman, who powerslams Lesnar through a table for two. Kane shoulders Strowman through the other table in the corner but again, Strowman is right up. A German suplex sends Lesnar outside but he’s fine enough to hit an F5 to send Strowman through the announcers’ table.

With that not being enough, Lesnar turns the other announcers’ table onto Strowman, literally burying him. Another F5 sends Kane through the other announcers’ table, because we need three of them at ringside. Strowman is back up, because of course he is, and Lesnar isn’t sure what to do. Back in and Lesnar takes two powerslams, only to have Kane make the save with some chair shots to Strowman. Lesnar pops up, sends both of them into each other, and F5’s Kane onto the chair to retain at 11:00.

Rating: D. There were some good power spots in there but this match didn’t need to be on the card either. Lesnar won another match that didn’t do anything for him and then walked off with the title for two and a half months, which was the case for FAR too long. I get the idea of keeping Strowman warm but they’re taking way too long to get anywhere.

We recap the Women’s Royal Rumble. Stephanie McMahon announced that we needed one and everyone nodded along because that’s how WWE works.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Maria Menunos is guest ring announcer and Stephanie is on commentary. As she comes to the ring, the announcers are all over themselves to suck up to her, with lines like “she’s a trailblazer but would never admit it”. Alexa Bliss and Charlotte (reigning Women’s Champions) are sitting at ringside. Sasha Banks is in at #1 and pre-Man Becky Lynch is in at #2 for a feeling out process to start. Neither can grab a submission hold and it’s a double clothesline, allowing Sarah Logan to come in at #3 and pick the bones.

She goes after Becky first but stops to point at the sign, meaning Becky is staying in. A headbutt drops Banks so everyone stands around until it’s Mandy Rose in at #4. The near eliminations abound as Stephanie gets into full on “person having an unnatural conversation” mode with Corey, making her rather annoying in her own right. Lita is in at #5 (in a #timesup shirt) to really fire the fans up for the first time in awhile.

Sasha and Becky stare her down and we get the slugout, which is rather cool when you consider how much of an inspiration she and Trish Stratus were on the current generation. Stephanie talks about how she and Lita were close over the years….and actually mentions CHYNA, which I didn’t think was allowed. Well I guess it’s cool if you’re Stephanie. Mandy is sent to the apron and hits a knee to Lita, who eliminates her without much effort. Kairi Sane is in at #6 and it’s a double spear to Lynch and Banks.

The Insane Elbow hits Banks and there’s one to Becky as Tamina (all in white for some reason) is in at #7. Lita drops her with a DDT because Tamina isn’t very good, setting up Twists of Fate to Lynch and Banks. There’s the moonsault to both of them and Lita throws Tamina out. Becky gets rid of Lita a few seconds later and it’s Dana Brooke in at #8. She goes straight for Sane in the corner….and actually eliminates her in a pretty big upset. Torrie Wilson is in at #9 and we now have to pretend that she was anything more than eye candy because she wrestled fifteen years ago.

Logan dropkicks her down as a TORRIE WILSON chant begins. A backdrop and dropkick to the knee get rid of Dana and it’s Sonya Deville in at #10. That means a kick to the ribs to get rid of Torrie (yes she looked great, and that’s about the extent of her value here). Liv Morgan is in at #11 and we hear about how much she idolized Lita. That likely applies to almost everyone in the match, which is rather cool given that Lita was in the match.

Things settle down again and it’s Molly Holly in at #12 to a rather big reaction. She dumps Logan with ease and there’s the Molly Go Round to Banks. They both fall to the floor (not out) and it’s Lana in at #13. These people are just coming and going at this point with very little other than nostalgia holding things together. Lana takes Liv down with a rather impressive spear and it’s Michelle McCool in at #14.

The fans immediately chant for the Undertaker as Michelle dumps Sonya. Morgan is out as well and Michelle gets rid of Molly with ease. Lana gets back up and is dumped just as well. Becky and Sasha double team Michelle to little avail as Ruby Riott is in at #15. No one can get anywhere and it’s Vickie Guerrero (the obvious comedy spot) in at #16. A bunch of EXCUSE ME’s earn her an elimination and it’s Carmella in at #17, but Vickie blasts her with the Money in the Bank briefcase to leave her laying on the floor.

Natalya is in at #18 (Stephanie: “Here she comes.” Natalya gets “here she comes”?) but Carmella decks her on the floor before it’s time to start the strutting. The Bexploder puts her down though and everyone is on the mat for a breather. Kelly Kelly is in at #19 and opts for some kicks in the corner as Natalya eliminates Michelle.

It’s Naomi in at #20, giving us Sasha, Becky, Riott, Carmella, Natalya, Kelly Kelly and Naomi. A bunch of Rear Views clean house and a kick to the head drops Banks. Sasha gets sent outside (not out, again) but Becky doesn’t have the same luck as Riott gets rid of her. Jacqueline is in at #21 and goes after Kelly as very little is going on at the moment. Nia Jax is in at #22 and gets rid of Kelly and Jacqueline without much effort. Riott gets tossed as well so Naomi fires off kicks. Jax throws her onto the big pile but Naomi lands on the barricade.

As she tries to figure it out, the injured Ember Moon is in at #23 and slugs away with one arm. Naomi walks the barricade and gets to the timekeeper’s area where she steals Menunos’ chair to crawl over to the steps for the improbable save. Back in….and Nia dumps her with ease. With everyone else on the floor, Beth Phoenix is in at # 24 and it’s time for a showdown.

Beth avoids a charge in the corner but can’t get her up in the fireman’s carry. Another attempt works to a big reaction as Natalya gets back in. They can’t get rid of Nia as they knock her to the floor (enough already) instead. Natalya quickly turns on Beth and throws her out as Carmella comes back in. Having this many women on the floor is ridiculous as you can’t remember who is still in.

Asuka is in at #25 to strike away, setting up the big reunion fight with Ember. Moon is fine enough for a one armed Eclipse but Asuka throws her out a few seconds later. So much for that. Mickie James is in at #26 and grabs a neckbreaker on Natalya. A bunch of near eliminations go nowhere and it’s Nikki Bella in at lucky #27, to a strong pop because we live in a random and chaotic universe. There’s a springboard kick to the face to put Banks down and it’s a spear to Natalya. Nikki throws Carmella out but everyone jumps onto the superwoman known as Nikki until Brie Bella comes out of retirement to come in at #28.

That means it’s time for the YES chants and some horrible running knees. The Bellas get their big moment (because they haven’t had one in a few minutes) and Nia is knocked to the floor (say it with me: without being eliminated). Bayley is in at #29 and gets to clean house until Asuka kicks her in the head. Trish Stratus is in at #30, which is quite the moment, though it was always going to be her or Rousey. That gives us a final grouping of Banks, Natalya, Jax, Asuka, James, Nikki, Brie, Bayley and Trish.

After tackling Natalya, we get the Trish vs. Bellas showdown which I think only WWE believes matters. A double Stratusfaction drops the Bellas and it’s time for a real showdown with Trish vs. Mickie. The Stratusphere is blocked so Trish kicks her in the head for the elimination. Nia gets back in so the big beatdown is on with a couple of kicks sending her to the ropes. Everyone gets together for the elimination in a good moment. Sasha dumps Bayley in a bit of a stab in the back and it’s Natalya grabbing a Sharpshooter on Trish.

That’s broken up because it’s a worthless move here, allowing Trish to kick Natalya out to get us to five. Banks goes after Trish, who kicks her in the ribs and does Sasha’s dance (that works). That’s fine with Banks, who kicks Trish out but turns into Asuka. They decide to go for the Bellas but it winds up being all three going after Asuka in a smart move. Banks says she’s ready for Asuka and loads up the double knees in the corner, only to have the Bellas turn on her.

That leaves Asuka and the Bellas (plus probably fourteen women on the floor as you never can tell) with the former firing off kicks to both of them. Brie gets sent to the apron but Nikki cuts Asuka off with the Rack Attack 2.0. A forearm knocks Brie out though as the sisters fight again. Asuka hits the missile dropkick on Nikki but she’s right back with a kick to the face. They both wind up on the apron with Asuka kicking the leg out (barely) for the win at 58:57.

Rating: B-. I remember being confused about what to think of this one last year and that’s the case again here. The legends needed to be there to flesh out the match and while there were some other options (NXT), I can go with this for the sake of history. This was designed to be more of a history of women’s wrestling over the years and there’s nothing wrong with that. They did a great job of making me want to see who was next as it was a nice mixture of all those generations. Having the nice mixture worked well and the right person won, so it’s hard to complain all that much. Stephanie was fine, though rather unnecessary.

Post match Charlotte and Alexa get in the ring to hold up the titles….and here’s Ronda Rousey to a huge reaction because she’s a star that was rumored to be in Columbia for this show. We get the most awkward sign pointing of all time (there’s an art to it) but Asuka won’t shake her hand. A bunch of staring and then high fiving fans, plus a handshake with Stephanie ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It wasn’t a very good show, but the two namesake matches delivered well enough and only the Universal Title match was really bad. The big story here was Ronda of course and that delivered (awkward pointing aside) so it’s hard to really call this anything but pretty good. The wrestling wasn’t great overall and, again, the show was way too long but the important stuff worked well and that’s how you get a nice show.

Ratings Comparison

Lucha House Party vs. TJP/Jack Gallagher/Drew Gulak

Original: C

Redo: C

Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs. Revival

Original: C

Redo: C

Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley

Original: D

Redo: D+

Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: C+

Usos vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: B-

Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan vs. The Bar

Original: C-

Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman

Original: B-

Redo: D

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: C+

I don’t remember the last time I was that far off on so many matches. I mean….dang man.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/28/royal-rumble-2018-i-had-fun-again/

Royal Rumble 2015
Date: January 25, 2015
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,164
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Back with Cesaro holding Kofi in a chinlock but Kingston comes back with a dropkick to Kidd. Big E. starts cleaning house with clotheslines and the fans are REALLY not pleased. Cesaro charges into a Rock Bottom (well close enough to one) out of the corner for two. Kidd is sent to the floor for a flip dive from Kofi, followed by Big E. spearing Cesaro through the ropes for a big crash.

New Age Outlaws vs. Ascension

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Damien Mizdow/Miz

The Usos are defending but Mizdow is the most over guy in the match. Speaking of things that have changed a lot in a year. The Usos took the titles from Miz/Mizdow to close out 2014 so this is the rematch. Jey and Miz get things going and the fans already want Mizdow. Something like a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two on Miz as Cole recap Miz trying to get Naomi on their side with promises of Hollywood fame.

Anyway, Jimmy gets away and tags in Jey to take over with the running Umaga Attack in the corner but Miz grabs a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and both Usos hit a dive to take out both challengers, though Jey almost misses Miz, drawing a rather rude chant from the fans.

The pre-show panel chats a bit and we look at the pre-show match.

Wrestlemania ad. I had forgotten how much I hated that theme song.

Bella Twins vs. Paige/Natalya

Fandango says no one understands the power of the tango.

YES, Daniel Bryan thinks he can get back to the main event of Wrestlemania.

We recap the triple threat for the World Title. Rollins tried to cash in Money in the Bank on Lesnar at Night of Champions while Cena was challenging, triggering a feud between Rollins and Cena. Tonight they both get their shot in what should be awesome.

WWE World Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar

Rating: A. Good grief what a battle. This was the night where Rollins became a star and people knew that he was going to be champion soon. Cena put in his normal amazing performance here as well, but good night Brock looked like a monster. This is the beast that WWE wanted to build up for someone to take down and it worked perfectly here. Just outstanding action here with all three looking like they had been through a war. This was the instant match of the year leader and it would take something special to knock it off.

Brock walks off as the medics are stunned.

Rumble By The Numbers video.

Royal Rumble

Ziggler superkicks the giants and takes them both down with the running DDT. Barrett is sent to the apron and superkicked out but Ziggler gets caught in the Cesaro Swing. Cesaro sends him to the apron but Dolph gets him to the apron for a superkick and an elimination, only to have Big Show and Kane put Ziggler out. That also gives Kane the all time record for Rumble eliminations.

Rock poses with Reigns and the fans STILL boo. The Authority comes out to glare a lot as Reigns celebrates and points at the sign to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Original: B

Redo: B-

Ascension vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D

Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Usos

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Bella Twins vs. Paige/Natalya

Original: D-

Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Original: A

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

How in the world did I add that one up last year?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/01/25/royal-rumble-2015-more-teasing-than-a-15-year-old-on-prom-night/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2001
Date: January 21, 2001
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 16,056
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s been a bit since I’ve looked at this one and it’s still one of the more fondly remembered Rumbles. The WWF is on fire at the moment and the big story is the return of Steve Austin, who wants the WWF Title back. Said title is currently help by Kurt Angle, who is defending against HHH. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on how this could be several people’s only chance to be WWF Champion. People like Albert! Billy Gunn! The Rock! Undertaker! The Rock and Undertaker again!

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Edge and Christian are defending and the Dudleys are getting over concussions (because you could just wrestle with them back in the day). The Dudleys start fast, not even waiting for the recap video to end. They fight to the floor for a bit with the Dudleys keeping them in trouble. Back in and D-Von slugs away at Edge, followed by a neckbreaker.

Christian comes in and gets double shouldered for two as commentary talks about the. I Dudleys’ concussions (which don’t seem to be bothering them). A headscissors out of the corner puts Bubba down and he grabs his head, even as he takes Christian into the corner. D-Von comes in but gets Russian legsweeped and neckbreakered for a pair of two’s.

The chinlock goes on and Bubba gets to play cheerleader (which is quite the disturbing visual). Naturally the fans want tables as D-Von counters out of a piledriver and catapults Edge into Christian. A double clothesline leaves everyone but Bubba down, meaning it’s a tag…which the referee doesn’t see.

Bubba argues with the referee, leaving D-Von to have to duck a Conchairto attempt. Another clothesline is enough to bring Bubba back in to clean house, including a Bubba Bomb to send Christian outside. There’s What’s Up to Edge so naturally it’s table time. Christian breaks it up but Bubba rolls Edge up for two. The 3D is broken up as well, with Edge’s spear getting two on Bubba. Edge tries his own What’s Up but a quick reversal means it hits Christian. The 3D gives us new champions at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This is one of those pairings that is virtually impossible to screw up and they seem to understand that concept. You could run these teams and the Hardys for pretty much ever and the WWF did just that to some great success. This wasn’t even a great match, but it was more than entertaining enough to start the show off and keep the fans interested. The title change to cap it off made things even better so nice job early on.

During Heat, Drew Carey arrived. I’m sure that won’t go anywhere.

Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon clarified that Steve Austin will be in the Royal Rumble tonight despite getting in a fight with HHH, which violated an agreement. Kurt Angle caused the fight though and therefore everything is still on. This was more to clarify some confusion and that’s a good thing.

HHH and Stephanie McMahon are in their locker room, with HHH saying that he needs her to put her hatred for Trish Stratus aside during the title match aside. Stephanie says if Trish puts her nose….or anything else in their way, she’ll deal with her. Drew Carey comes in, says he hasn’t been watching much lately, and talks about running into Kamala at the airport. HHH tries to shoo him away, so Drew plugs his upcoming comedy pay per view and goes to find Vince McMahon. Stephanie offers to take him to meet Trish Stratus. This was prime Stephanie “NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS AND YOU’RE NOT SCARY”.

The APA show each other their Rumble numbers and think it’ll be interesting. Crash Holly comes in and says they may be friends but he’ll eliminate them if he has to. Bradshaw: “And they call us drunks.”

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit in a ladder match for the Intercontinental Title. They’ve been feuding for a good while so it’s time for the big blowoff match. This isn’t a feud that needs that much of of a story and WWE seems to get that.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit is defending in a ladder match. They go right after it to start with Jericho elbowing him down. Jericho stomps away in the corner but has to block a Crossface attempt. Benoit sends him into the post but Jericho knocks him to the apron. The triangle dropkick misses and they fall out to the floor so let’s go for the ladder. Jericho’s baseball slide misses the ladder so Benoit sends him hard into the steps.

It’s way too early for Benoit to go up so Jericho cuts him off without much trouble. A running ladder shot to the face drops Benoit and Jericho puts the ladder over the top rope. Benoit reverses a whip to send Jericho into the ladder and out to the floor, only to have the dive cut off with a chair to the head (that was nasty). Jericho misses a ladder shot so Benoit chairs him down and we’ll go outside, complete with the ladder.

They go into the corner, where Jericho kind of Russian legsweeps him from the middle rope and down with the ladder for another crash. Benoit is up first and puts the ladder on the top, with Jericho sending him face first. That’s not enough as it’s a slingshot with the ladder to send it into Benoit’s face again. Jericho starts going up but Benoit suplexes him over the top and out to the floor for another nasty landing.

Now it’s Benoit going up, but Jericho is back in and grabs the Walls on top of the ladder in one of the most creatively awesome spots I’ve ever seen. Somehow that’s not enough as Benoit crashes down but pops up to shove the ladder down again. The Crossface makes Jericho tap, so Benoit goes up.

The Swan Dive from the top of the ladder misses though, allowing Jericho to put the ladder on top of him. Benoit powers out of that as well and Jericho crashes out to the floor again. Another climb is cut off by some Jericho chair shots and another shove sends Benoit crashing out to the floor. Jericho finally pulls down the title at 18:45.

Rating: A. There are different ways to resent a ladder match and this one was designed around two guys beating the living daylights out of each other. That worked to a charm, as this was one of the most violent matches you will see without going totally over the top. It’s still an incredible match with two guys hurting each other for a long time with some nasty looking crashes and spots. Awesome match and well worth what should be another look.

Drew Carey meets Trish Stratus and hits on her a bit but Vince McMahon comes in. More pay per view plugging ensues until Vince puts him in the Royal Rumble. Carey is in.

Billy Gunn tries to talk Chyna (with her bad neck) out of a match but Chyna is having none of it.

Chris Jericho says he proved Chris Benoit wrong.

We recap the Women’s Title match, as Ivory (of Right To Censor) is not happy with Chyna, who is out for revenge after Right To Censor attacked her. Chyna has a bad neck coming in but just wants to wreck Ivory anyway.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Chyna is challenging and jumps her to start, with Ivory being thrown down by the hair. The forearms in the corner have Ivory down and a heck of a right hand knocks her off the top. The beating goes into the crowd before Chyna takes her back inside. Hold on though as Chyna has to beat up Steven Richards as well before hitting a handspring elbow….and down she goes. Ivory crawls over and gets the pin at 3:32.

Rating: C. This was more an extended angle than a match as the whole point was Chyna getting hurt again. Ivory didn’t get in a single shot, save for maybe some ineffective punches, and then they did the angle to end it. There is only so much you can do with Chyna in the women’s division and that was on display here, as Chyna was a wrecking ball against the champion.

Post match Chyna is stretchered out.

Stephanie McMahon runs into Trish Stratus in the hair and makeup room and things get catty over their relationships.

Drew Carey is given some gear and runs into Kane. He’s not impressed.

Low Down (egads) is told their Royal Rumble spot is being given to Drew Carey.

Fans at WWF New York give their picks for HHH vs. Kurt Angle.

We recap HHH challenging Kurt Angle for the WWF Title. HHH wants the title but there is still the whole Kurt Loves Stephanie deal, though that peaked a few months back. Since Kurt can’t have a McMahon with him, he’s settling for Trish Stratus, which has Stephanie furious (Trish having an affair with Vince McMahon doesn’t help).

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Angle, with Trish Stratus (equaled out by Stephanie McMahon), is defending. HHH cranks on the arm to start before hitting a running shoulder. Back up and Angle hiptosses him down so we need a breather on the floor. That doesn’t last long as HHH is back in with some rather hard right hands. Angle goes to the arm as well and cranks away as this is starting a big more slowly than I would have expected.

Some suplexes have HHH in more trouble but they go back outside for some whips into the barricade (that’s more like it). Back in and HHH drop toeholds him down, setting up the Indian deathlock. With that broken up, Angle enziguris his way to freedom as Lawler talks about Andy Kaufman. HHH kicks away at the leg in the corner and wraps it around the post, with a Stephanie distraction allowing HHH to get in a chair shot.

Back in and some chop blocks have Angle in even more trouble, setting up the full on Indian Deathlock. With that broken up, HHH switches to the Figure Four to stay on the knee. Trish tries to interfere so the catfight with Stephanie is on. They go over the announcers’ table and can’t be separated, even by Vince McMahon. Vince finally picks Trish up and carries her off but Stephanie breaks that up as well.

With the three of them gone, HHH goes back to the bad knee as the match remembers it is happening. Angle kicks HHH away and into the post, setting up a DDT for two. A German suplex gives Angle two more so he heads up, only to get kind of Razor’s Edged down for three straight near falls. Back up and Angle runs him over, setting up the moonsault (which connects) for two.

The referee gets bumped so they go outside, with Angle being sent into the post. Back in and HHH goes up for some reason, allowing Angle to run the ropes for a super armdrag. There’s no referee so the fight heads back outside, this time with HHH sending Angle into the referee into the steps. Back in and Angle counters a belt shot into a belly to belly but HHH grabs the Pedigree. Cue Steve Austin (HHH recently cost him the title) to jump HHH though, including a belt shot to the face and the Stunner to give Angle the retaining pin at 24:21.

Rating: B-. It’s a good brawl and they worked well together but my goodness there was a lot going on here, with the match needing to be about five minutes shorter. Austin costing HHH the title doesn’t so much hurt Angle, who already feels like he is playing with the house’s money, but rather keeps the title on someone who is showing he can hang at this level. Good stuff here, but cut it down a few minutes and it’s a better match.

The Rock talks about how this is the biggest Royal Rumble of all time and says it doesn’t matter if the Undertaker and Kane are together. After referencing nipple tickling, Rock says it could come down to himself and Bull Buchanan, Perry Saturn, or even….Steve Austin. Either way, he’s going to Wrestlemania. Why his music plays after a promo isn’t clear.

Video on the Royal Ruble, with a look at most of the people involved.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #1 and Bull Buchanan in at #2. Buchanan starts fast and slugs away but can’t press slam Jeff out. Instead Jeff puts him on top but can’t get him out either, putting them at about even so far. Choking on the ropes ensues until Matt Hardy is in at #3, because tag teams have a tendency to start the Rumble together. A double clothesline quickly gets rid of Buchanan so the Hardys bump fists and then go with some grappling. Matt can’t get rid of Jeff but Jeff can’t get rid of Matt until Faarooq is in at #4.

The Hardys are dropped with a double clothesline and Jeff is sent to the apron, where he cuts off the Dominator to Matt. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton is enough to get rid of Faarooq and it’s time for the Hardys to fight again. Naturally this means the shirts come off (yes, the women in the audience approve) before they can slug it out. Jeff nails a Whisper in the Wind and it’s Drew Carey in at #5.

The Hardys keep fighting and go to the corner, while Carey slowly gets inside. Matt and Jeff eliminate each other, leaving commentary to realize that Carey is currently the last man standing. Then Kane is in at #6 (JR: “Oh my God oh my God oh my God.”) and Carey immediately starts asking for the Hardys to get back in. Kane slowly walks around the ring to kill some time, allowing Carey time to offer him some money. That doesn’t work either as Kane grabs him by the throat, only to have Raven come in at #7 for the save, allowing Carey to wisely eliminate himself.

Raven gets knocked outside (not eliminated) where he manages a fire extinguisher shot to Kane. Cue Al Snow in at #8 (coming in before the clock even starts) to jump Raven, but then the clock counts down for him anyway. A bunch of weapons are thrown in, including Snow’s trusty bowling ball. Said ball is rolled between Raven’s legs before he and Snow start trash canning Kane. The drop toehold into the trashcan puts Kane down and it’s Perry Saturn in at #9.

Saturn gets….well not that smart actually by going after Kane’s knee. Kane gorilla presses Saturn but onto the mat for no logical reason. Everyone combines to go after Kane and finally get him down, which still doesn’t seem that bright. Steve Blackman is in at #10, giving us a group of Kane, Raven, Snow, Saturn and Blackman. With everyone else brawling, Blackman brings out his sticks to beat up everyone but Kane as the lack of brightness continues. Grandmaster Sexay is in at #11 but Kane has had this and quickly clears the ring.

Honky Tonk Man of all people is in at #12 and tells Kane to give him a minute. We start the song, until Kane grabs the guitar and smashes it over Honky Tonk Man’s head. That’s enough for the easy elimination and Kane is left alone….but the Rock is in at #13 to make things a lot more interesting. Rock hammers away and hits the running clothesline but Kane hits him in the face. Rock’s right hands are cut off by a big boot and Goodfather is in at #14.

That lasts all of three seconds before Rock punches Goodfather out, leaving Kane to hit a suplex. The side slam plants Rock and Tazz is in at #15, only to be tossed out in less than ten seconds. Rock gets in a Samoan drop and it’s Bradshaw in at #16. Bradshaw gets to hammer on both of them until Kane hits a double clothesline. Albert is in at #17, sending Lawler into a need for updates on Trish Stratus and Stephanie McMahon. Even Lawler can tell that JR is ignoring him as JBL saves Rock from Albert for no logical reason.

Hardcore Holly is in at #18 as Albert chokebombs Bradshaw. Holly and Bradshaw team up but can’t get rid of the Rock (the fans were interested though), leaving Alberto to drop Kane with a single boot to the face. K-Kwik (R-Truth) is in at #19 and my goodness it’s weird to hear him called a rookie. Albert still can’t get rid of Albert as Val Venis is in at #20. That gives us Kane, Rock, Bradshaw, Albert, Holly, Kwik and Venis, with Kane spinebustering Venis out of the corner. Brawling on the ropes ensues until William Regal is in at #21.

Venis can’t get rid of the Rock, but the tease of an elimination again brings quite the strong reaction. Test is in at #22 and gets rid of Regal without much trouble (and would take the European Title from him the next night on Raw) before going after Albert. With more brawling against the ropes not doing much, Big Show makes a surprise return at #23 and cleans house, getting rid of Test and Kwik before chokeslamming everyone but Rock.

Instead Rock kicks him low, hits some right hands, and clotheslines Show out. Show looked awesome there for about a minute and a half but then he was out. Hold on though as Show clears off the announcers’ table and pulls Rock to the floor for a chokeslam through said table. Crash Holly is in at #24 as a bunch of people can’t get rid of Kane. Undertaker is in at #25 and he quickly saves Kane from the big mob.

Everyone but Kane and Undertaker (and Rock on the floor) are quickly eliminated, leaving the monsters to stare at each other as JR is BEGGING them to fight each other. JR: “It started with brother vs. brother with the Hardys”. No JR, it didn’t. They stare at each other until Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #26 and, after waiting to get in, is quickly eliminated. Steve Austin is in at #27….or he would be as HHH jumps him from behind to even things up from earlier.

Rock gets back in to go after Kane but gets jumped by Undertaker. The bloody Austin is left laying in the aisle as Billy Gunn is in at #28 and goes after Undertaker and Kane to save Rock. Undertaker plants Rock as HHH finally leaves and it’s Haku (the reigning WCW Hardcore Champion but without a WCW contract) in at #29. Undertaker and Kane can only do so much with him as JR and Lawler get into a shouting match over whether Austin deserved to get jumped or not.

Rikishi is in at #30, giving us a final group of Kane, Rock, Undertaker, Austin (on the floor), Gunn, Haku and Rikishi, which is quite the up and down levels of main event talent. Austin manages to get up and starts wrecking people, including stomping Gunn down in the corner. Austin gets rid of Haku and Undertaker sends Rock to the apron. Rock saves himself, leaving Undertaker to hurt his own head while headbutting Rikishi.

A superkick actually puts Undertaker out but Rikishi takes too long loading up the Banzai Drop, allowing Rock to eliminate him (as you can hear Undertaker leaving on the motorcycle). We’re down to Austin, Kane, Gunn and Rock, with Gunn hitting a Fameasser on Austin. Then Gunn is tossed and we’re down to three. Kane gets knocked down (not eliminated) and that leaves Austin vs. Rock, which has the fans WAY into things again. The Rock Bottom is blocked but Austin hits a Stunner and Thesz presses Kane.

Rock is back up and sends Kane through the ropes to the floor (not eliminated), meaning it’s another slugout with Austin. They go for the eliminations but Kane is back in to toss Rock. That leaves us with Austin vs. Kane, with a chokeslam putting Austin down. Austin manages a low blow and a chair is brought in, which can’t go well. The Stunner drops Kane and three straight chair shots into a clothesline are enough to give Austin the win at 1:01:57.

Rating: A-. There was a bit of a lull in the middle but Rock and Austin and Kane and others were all enough to make this work. What matters is keeping the fans interested and they had the Carey stuff, then the hardcore stuff, then the serious stuff got going with the Rock coming in to fight Kane. All of that was good, but it really cranked up when Austin came in. It’s not the best Rumble ever, but it’s pretty great with nothing close to bad.

Overall Rating: A. Yeah this is an all timer, with the only thing close to bad being a three and a half minute angle disguised as a match. Other than that you have good World and Tag Team Title matches, plus the amazing ladder match and a pretty incredible Royal Rumble. It’s a show that more than holds up and there is pretty much nothing on here worth really complaining about. Check this one out if you haven’t in a bit, as it’s still great.

 

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B-

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A
2013 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A
2024 Redo: A

Ivory vs. Chyna

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2024 Redo: C

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B
2024 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: B
2013 Redo: B+
2018 Redo: A-
2024 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2024 Redo: A

Yep, we’re done with this one as it’s about as definitive as it can get.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 7, 2008
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s probably not a good sign that I haven’t done one of these in so long that I barely remember what is going on. The big story is CM Punk cashing in Money In The Bank last week on Edge to win the World Heavyweight Championship, bringing a World Title to Raw. We’re also on the way to the Bash and that is going to need a card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Punk winning the title and his first title defense against JBL last week. JBL declaring martial law is not exactly the most interesting idea, and John Cena/Cryme Tyme seem to agree.

Stephanie McMahon asks everyone to pull together in Vince McMahon’s absence.

Here is Vickie Guerrero in the ring to get things going. She is here to protest CM Punk being the World Heavyweight Champion and is not leaving until the title is surrendered to her. An apology is demanded and here is Punk to respond. Vickie yells at him and says Edge is so close to falling apart that he has called off their wedding! Punk says he probably did them a favor and explains the Money In The Bank concept. Maybe Vickie can find someone cute on Smackdown, like the Great Khali! Vickie stands up and slaps him, so Punk wheels her into the corner.

Cue JBL in his limo to interrupt and say Punk’s reign is coming to an end. JBL challenges for the title, saying Vince McMahon would give him the shot. Punk brings up that Vince isn’t here, but John Cena certainly is. Cena mocks JBL for blaming a variety of things on not being champion and doesn’t really want to hear about it. Maybe Cena should listen to Punk, who shakes Cena’s hand.

In reality, there is no one in charge around here, so we need to figure out Punk’s next challenger. Cena thinks he and JBL should have some kind of #1 contenders match, but here is Batista who wants in as well. Batista says Punk deserves the title after last week and also says hi to Vickie, who made him miserable on Smackdown. He feels sorry for her…but nah, because he really can’t stand her.

As for the title, Punk cashed in after Batista took Edge out but JBL cuts Batista off instead. Cena calms things down by suggesting a triple threat #1 contenders match tonight. JBL doesn’t like it so Cena says that means JBL is out entirely. That gets JBL in the triple threat, but now it’s Kane interrupting. He wants in too so Punk thinks we have a fatal four way. And that’s finally it!

Rey Mysterio vs. Santino Marella

Rey sends him into the corner to start but a faceplant gives Marella a breather. A camel clutch is broken up but Rey misses a 619, only to knock Santino down without much effort. Rey hits a jumping double stomp of all things and the 619 into the top rope splash gives Rey the fast pin.

CM Punk is…interrupted when a light falls down. Anyway, he’ll face anyone but Snitsky of all people comes in to say he wants a fight. Works for Punk.

John Cena and Mickie James are talking about last night when Kelly Kelly comes up to talk about their tag match. Cena is amazed that Kelly got out of her ECW contract, but apparently it didn’t exist.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall/Layla

Jillian grabs Mickie’s arm to start and is quickly pulled into a headlock. Kelly comes in with a sunset flip for two and a hurricanrana gets the same. Layla gets in a cheap shot though and Jillian rams Kelly’s face into the mat over and over. They go to the corner and Kelly manages a victory roll for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was about all you could expect from this match as Mickie was barely involved. It seems that Kelly might be the next in line to get a push but she is going to need a lot of work in the ring to really make that happen. She has to start somewhere though and the whole gymnast thing can get her at least a few steps forward.

Here is JBL’s limo…with JBL walking beside it. He can’t open the doors….so here is John Cena, holding a crowbar, to pop out instead. Cena says Louisiana has strict laws involving limousines and this one will never pass inspection. Fortunately for JBL, Cena knows two guys who can help get parts quick. We hear about some of those limo laws, with Cryme Tyme (carrying some large bats/pipes) helping to fix the limo up a bit. One more thing though: it needs a custom paint job! Spray painting ensues as a bonus. Cena: “Fine work by the Cryme Tyme Body Shop. It is sure worth the drive.”

We look at the cash-in again.

CM Punk vs. Snitsky

Non-title. Punk strikes away to start but dives into a bearhug, allowing Snitsky to drive him into the corner. Snitsky’s elbow gets two and the bearhug goes on again. More strikes get Punk out of trouble again and the running knee in the corner sets up a bulldog. The GTS gives Punk the pin.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, with Michaels’ eye being heavily damaged.

Here is Michaels to say he accepts Jericho’s challenge for the Great American Bash. Cue Jericho with Lance Cade, with Jericho saying he knew Michaels would accept. Michaels can’t help himself because all of the beatings haven’t taught him anything. Now Michaels is going to get beaten up again, even though he’s just another legend fighting for one more chance. Does Michaels want to be a martyr for all of these people? Are they going to pay for him if he loses everything?

Like every other martyr, Michaels is going to be swept underneath the rug and forgotten. Michaels talks about how he could leave wrestling today and be remembered forever. No matter what he has done, the fans seem to keep giving him a pass. Jericho doesn’t think that’s fair, but Michaels talks about what Jericho has done in his career. In spite of all that though, Jericho will never have peace because he will never be Michaels. And there’s the core of the story and that makes the story so much better.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

Non-title. Haas grabs a headlock to start but can’t get very far as Kofi strikes away. A cravate with knees to the face have Kingston down for two and we hit the chinlock. Kofi fights up with some dropkicks into the Boom Drop and the spinning kick to the face finishes Haas off in a hurry.

Rating: C. Not much to this one as they only had a few minutes. It doesn’t help that Haas hasn’t meant anything in a long time now so there was only so much drama about anything happening. I’m sure Kingston will get an opponent worthy of a title shot soon enough, but that isn’t Haas right now and they didn’t treat him as anything else.

Post match Paul Burchill runs in and lays Kingston out.

Batista is walking….and a fan randomly runs in to do his pose before running off again.

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena vs. Kane

For the World Title shot at the Great American Bash. The brawl starts fast with JBL booting Cena down for an early two. All four of them slug it out and we take an early break. Back with Kane elbowing Cena in the face and ripping at said face in the corner. Batista hits a spinebuster for two on JBL with Kane making the save and planting Batista with a chokeslam. JBL breaks up the FU to Kane and everyone is left down.

It’s Cena up first to clean house, including an FU to Batista for two. We take another break and come back again with Kane breaking up the Shuffle to JBL. Batista starts cleaning house and kicks a downed Kane in the face. The Clothesline From JBL hits Batista but Cena pulls JBL into the STFU. That’s broken up so Cena and JBL double team Kane down. Everyone but Cena fight to the floor, with Kane knocking JBL over the barricade. Back in and Batista spears Kane for the fast pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t some kind of a classic or anything but they kept things moving here and it made for an entertaining match as a result. I had fun with this and giving Batista the title shot is an interesting way to go. Punk vs. JBL isn’t interesting, Cena would be an overwhelming favorite over Punk and Kane doesn’t feel like a World Title challenger. That leaves Batista as the just right choice and he got there in an entertaining fight.

Post match Batista leaves so Kane can snap and beat up people working at ringside. Kane yells at commentary and drags Cole inside, telling Cole to ANSWER ME. Jerry Lawler chop blocks Kane to save Cole but gets beaten up to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They don’t have much time to get ready for the Great American Bash at this point so moving rather quickly like this is a good idea. The World Title match is now set and Michaels vs. Jericho got a nice boost. This show felt like it got some things done in the span of two hours and that is not something you often see with Raw. Good enough show here, as the Bash is coming together rather quickly.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 2016
Date: November 20, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,143
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, David Otunga

I say this every year but it’s always hard to believe that it’s been a full year since this show. This was the first time that a Survivor Series was expanded to four hours but thankfully there’s a good chance that they could make it work, mainly due to the elimination matches. The main event though is Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg, which I’m sure will be completely uneventful. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese vs. Noam Dar/TJ Perkins/Rich Swann

This is a preview match for something called 205 Live, which debuts next week. I know it hasn’t gone great but the division really has evolved into a better place than when it started. Swann gets a nice reaction and then starts with Nese, who gets chopped in the corner. They do their regular flips with Swann’s jump over Nese’s feet getting a good pop (as always) before it’s off to Perkins.

Some suplexes set up an Octopus Hold but Nese reverses into a kind of gutwrench suplex. Gulak comes in and gets caught in the wrong corner with everyone working him over. We actually get a TJ PERKINS chant as he slaps on the kneebar to keep Gulak in trouble. Everything breaks down and we take a break.

Back with Daivari in trouble this time as Dar gets two off a running kick to the face. Nese offers a distraction though and a spinebuster takes Dar down. A superkick gives Daivari two and it’s back to Gulak to crank on the leg. If this sounds rather uninteresting, it’s only because that’s what it is.

Dar dropkicks his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in Swann to very little reaction. A good looking jumping hurricanrana takes Daivari off the middle rope as everything breaks down again. That means we hit the dives but the referee CUTS PERKINS OFF. Now you know that’s not working so Perkins dives over the referee to take out some villains. Back in and Swann’s standing 450 ends Daivari at 11:48.

Rating: C-. I forgot how uninteresting these earlier cruiserweight matches were. The guys barely have characters and the entire story here was “three faces vs. three heels”. It didn’t get much better for a long time but, as usual, the problem comes down to one simple thing: if the smaller guys on the main roster can be big stars and do all these dives, why should I be impressed when cruiserweights can do them too?

Kickoff Show: Luke Harper vs. Kane

Harper is part of the NEW Wyatt Family, which screwed Kane over, meaning we need a match here. Kane grabs a full nelson of all things and we’re in a chinlock fifteen seconds in. That goes nowhere so Harper grabs a headlock as the fans are oddly split here. Kane starts in on the shoulder by sending it into the buckle. Harper sends him outside though and hits that suicide shove of his (Who needs cruiserweights?).

A slingshot flip splash gives Luke two and we take a break. Back with Kane in a chinlock (well duh) but managing to superplex Harper down for a crash. The sidewalk slam gets two but Harper scores with a superkick for the same. Kane’s running DDT and Harper’s Boss Man Slam are good for two more each but it’s the chokeslam to put Harper away at 9:10.

Rating: D+. Well what were you expecting here? This was exactly the match you would have planned out for them and Kane won with his finisher. It’s about as paint by numbers of a power match as you can get and while it wasn’t terrible, it’s also a match I really didn’t need to see.

The opening video looks at Goldberg vs. Lesnar and then all the Raw vs. Smackdown matches. Well at least they got some time. I’m sure Stephanie’s voiceovers had nothing to do with it.

Raw Women’s Team vs. Smackdown Women’s Team

Raw: Bayley, Alicia Fox, Charlotte, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks

Smackdown: Alexa Bliss, Becky Lynch, Carmella, Naomi, Nikki Bella

Entrances alone take forever of course, which will be a theme tonight. Charlotte is Raw Women’s Champion and has Dana Brooke in her corner. Becky is Smackdown Women’s Champion but Nikki is captain. You know, because of course. Bliss gets a heck of a reaction (gee I wonder why). Actually hang on a second as there’s no Nikki. We cut to the back where she’s down after being attacked. Not to worry though, as Smackdown coach Natalya is more than willing to take the spot.

We settle down to Becky and Banks trading rollups before it’s off to Charlotte for more of the same. Becky can’t get the Disarm-Her and it’s off to Nia as things get a lot more difficult. Carmella and Bliss come in for the expected results and Naomi’s high crossbody is pulled out of the air. Natalya actually gets a reaction but Nia clotheslines her head off for her efforts. It’s off to Fox vs. Carmella with Alicia avoiding a Bronco Buster, setting up what looked to be a mostly missed ax kick for the elimination at 6:35. Bliss comes right in, sends Fox into the buckle and adds Twisted Bliss to tie it up at 6:48.

Charlotte and Naomi come in with the latter cleaning house, including knocking Nia outside and hitting a high crossbody to the floor. Nia posts her though and that’s a countout at 8:23. We pause for the Tye Dillinger TEN chant until Bliss takes Banks down and grinds her face into the mat. Banks sends Bliss and Natalya into each other, followed by the double knees in the corner to Alexa. Back up and Bliss saves Natalya from the Bank Statement, allowing Natalya to roll Banks up for the elimination at 10:20.

Charlotte comes in and gets suplexed, meaning we hit the SUPLEX CITY chants. You would think fans would know more chants than that. Charlotte goes up for the moonsault but, as always, Natalya powerbombs her down for two in the near fall that never ends Charlotte. The required Sharpshooter sends Charlotte crawling for the ropes but a big boot ends Natalya at 12:01.

Becky and Bliss get in an argument over who should come in, allowing Jax to suplex them both at the same time. Of course that gets a MAMA MIA from Mauro, which I miss hearing so often. Bliss gets caught in a slam but Becky makes a blind tag and missile dropkicks Bliss in the back to knock her onto Jax. The Disarm-Her actually makes Jax tap at 13:35 and it’s 2-2 with Becky/Bliss vs Charlotte/Bayley.

Jax mauls Becky, leaving Bliss to get big booted down for the elimination at 14:03. Becky fights back as fast as she can with the series of clotheslines into the leg lariat, followed by Bexplex. Bayley has to dive in for a save after a top rope legdrop before coming in for the slugout. Another Bexplex gets two but Bayley’s elbow to the back gets the same. You can tell Becky is getting tired out there so Bayley blocks the Disarm-Her and grabs the Bayley to Belly for the final pin at 17:53.

Rating: C+. The quick eliminations didn’t help things here but the ending was the right call. There was way too much talent on the Raw side to lose and I’m VERY glad it was Natalya, who can wrestle this style without having to dumb things down too much. Becky was pretty much all the blue team had for a lot of the match and she put up a valiant effort, only to be outgunned. That makes her look strong and Bayley getting a win like this is a good thing for her at this stage in her main roster career.

Charlotte takes Bayley out post match and beats her around ringside.

Smackdown mascot James Ellsworth runs into Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, who weren’t funny in 2016 either. They make some bad chin puns but Raw GM Mick Foley comes in to run them off. Ellsworth talks about all the great memories he has of Foley, most of which involve him being in extreme pain. Foley thanks him anyway and suggests Ellsworth move to Raw. He appreciates the offer but politely turns it down because he’s true blue. Foley leaves and Ellsworth runs into Braun Strowman, who asks if he knows Ellsworth. James runs in a smart move.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Miz is defending and Sami is trying to take the title to Raw. We get the Big Match Intros and Sami gets quite the reaction for being Canadian. Sami spins out of a wristlock to start and Miz looks annoyed in the corner. Miz gets sent outside but Sami has to bail out of the flip dive. The moonsault off the barricade works though, drawing over Maryse for a distraction. Well she can be quite distracting.

This one works well with Miz taking out the knee to get his first advantage. Some hard stomps to the knees have Sami in trouble but he’s still able to clothesline Miz to the floor. A flip dive works as well, followed by a Michinoku Driver for two. Miz’s short DDT gets the same and it’s time for a double breather. The running corner dropkick/clothesline look to set up the ax handle but Sami reverses into the Blue Thunder Bomb.

The Helluva Kick only hits corner though and that means the Figure Four. This one stays on for a good while until Sami makes the ropes, earning himself some YES Kicks. Sami reverses one into a Figure Four of his own but Maryse rings the bell. Since Sami isn’t all that bright, he of course falls for it, only to have Miz roll him up to retain at 14:06.

Rating: C-. Kind of a dull match as you knew a lot of Sami’s near falls weren’t going anywhere. I can go for Miz and Maryse teaming up to steal wins though and it’s a big reason why he’s been an awesome Intercontinental Champion. This would also help play into Sami’s heel turn nearly a year later as he would get tired of losing while playing by the rules. Makes sense, especially in a long term form.

Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles are bickering over being teammates tonight when Shane McMahon comes in and tells them to cool it so Smackdown doesn’t lose again.

Raw Tag Teams vs. Smackdown Tag Teams

Raw: Enzo Amore/Big Cass, Cesaro/Sheamus, Gallows and Anderson, New Day, Shining Stars

Smackdown: American Alpha, Breezango, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Hype Bros, Usos

A fall eliminates both members of a team. Enzo and Cass suck up to the live crowd, as you might expect. New Day and Slater/Rhyno are the respective champions. Fandango tries to give everyone a fashion ticket to start, earning himself a Midnight Hour for the elimination at 44 seconds. New Day spends too much time celebrating though and it’s a superkick from Jimmy to pin Big E. at 1:08.

Gallows comes in to punch Jimmy in the face before handing it off to Cass for the tall power. The fast tags continue as it’s off to Epico vs. Ryder (who is rocking some old school Survivor Series logo trunks) with Mojo coming in for a clap around the ears. Rawley gets taken down into the corner for the huge group beating though as we keep trying to get everyone in. It’s back to Ryder (not Slater like the fans want) but Gallows saves Anderson from the Broski Boot. Instead it’s the Magic Killer to pin Ryder at 5:08.

Gable comes in as Graves talks about how scared he is of American Alpha. It doesn’t seem to be the most valid fear to start though as Epico takes Gable down into a chinlock. Some rolling suplexes have Gable in more trouble and Primo comes in with a springboard ax handle to the ribs. He misses a charge in the corner though and it’s off to Jordan for a quick Steiner Bulldog to get rid of the Stars at 8:08.

The six remaining teams (Enzo/Big Cass, Cesaro/Sheamus, Gallows and Anderson vs. American Alpha, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Usos) come in at once as everything breaks down. That means Enzo gets tossed over the top onto a big pile….which was mainly Raw guys but whatever. Rhyno gets thrown over the top as well, only to have Slater add an even bigger dive. Back in and Cesaro swings Jordan but Gable makes the save with a Rolling Chaos Theory.

Gable isn’t done though as Jordan throws him over the top for a HUGE flip dive onto everyone. Sweet goodness those two were awesome together. I mean, not as awesome as Jordan on his own with Kurt Angle kind of around but still. Back in and it’s a quick Magic Killer to get rid of Jordan at 10:39 as the eliminations are still flying. A spinebuster plants Slater and he’s caught in the wrong corner.

Sheamus won’t tag Cesaro (this was before their ridiculous matching outfits) and an argument breaks out, allowing the hot tag off to Rhyno as everyone bickers. Rhyno comes in and Gores Gallows for an elimination at 12:28. Cass wastes no time with a big boot to Rhyno, followed by the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka for the pin at 12:45.

That leaves us with the Usos….who superkick Enzo down to set up the Superfly Splash and an elimination at 13:26 before I can type the Raw teams. So now we’re down to the Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus with the latter hitting the ten forearms (you know the chant) on Jimmy. Cesaro comes in and eats a double superkick but Sheamus Brogue kicks Jimmy with Jey making a diving save.

Super White Noise plants Jimmy again but Jey is right back with a Superfly Splash for two with Cesaro making a save of his own. The hot tag brings in Cesaro for the Uppercut Train and a 619 as the fans lose their minds over Cesaro again. A high crossbody gets two on Jey and it’s time for the Swing. Jimmy breaks up the Sharpshooter and Jey gets the Tequila Sunrise. That’s reversed right back into the Sharpshooter with Sheamus remembering he’s in the match to cut off Jimmy, leaving Jey to tap at 18:55.

Rating: B. This was during the time that I couldn’t stand Sheamus and Cesaro (not a lot has changed in a year) but they did a lot of stuff in this match, despite the crunched timeline. Getting nine eliminations in less than nineteen minutes is a lot but you have to clear the ring out at the beginning. It’s entertaining, but hits a hard ceiling that it’s not getting past.

Stephanie and Foley decide that Sheamus and Cesaro should get a Tag Team Title shot tomorrow night. They recap the rest of the show with Stephanie getting way too serious, as usual.

Preview for TLC with Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles in a TLC match for the title.

Cruiserweight Champion Brian Kendrick does his best Sean O’Haire impression and is ready for Kalisto. If Kalisto wins, he brings the division to Smackdown. It’s fine for a one off match but it was really hard to buy Kendrick as the best cruiserweight in the company in 2016.

Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick is defending and charges straight into a knee to the face. Kalisto is right back with a suicide dive, followed by a springboard corkscrew crossbody for two. Some rollups give Kalisto more near falls and a shotgun dropkick has Kendrick in even more trouble. A rollup into the corner finally gives Kendrick a breather and he crushes Kalisto between the steps and the apron for good measure.

Back in and we hit the cravate to slow things back down. Kalisto manages to fight up and get to the apron where he grabs a C4 out to the floor in the big crash of the match. A good looking suicide dive takes Kendrick down again but he reverses a super Salida Del Sol into the Captain’s Hook. Kalisto finally grabs the ropes and fires off some kicks, followed by the hurricanrana driver. The Salida Del Sol gets two with Kendrick getting to the ropes. Kalisto heads up top….and here’s Baron Corbin for the DQ at 12:21.

Rating: C-. The match was good at times but Kendrick really isn’t the kind of guy you want as a long term champion. It also didn’t help that you knew they weren’t changing up the cruiserweight division so close to 205 Live’s launch. Corbin interfering was fine enough, but it really does make the title match feel like a big waste of time.

The Kickoff Show panel recaps the show so far.

Daniel Bryan yells at Corbin, who doesn’t want little pests running around on Smackdown.

We recap the men’s Survivor Series match, which started in July at the second Brand Split. Naturally this is about the McMahons as Shane and Stephanie are the Commissioners and therefore they have to be fighting. We look at all the entrants as this is treated like the major match is should be treated as. Then Shane is added to the match and that notion kind of falls apart.

Raw Men’s Team vs. Smackdown Men’s Team

Raw: Braun Strowman, Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Roman Reigns

Seth Rollins

Smackdown: AJ Styles, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Randy Orton, Shane McMahon

AJ and Owens are the World Champions, Reigns is US Champion and Ellsworth is here as the mascot. This is also during the period where Orton is part of the Wyatt Family because we needed that story to get to Orton as World Champion again. Rollins gets a nice reaction and it’s far better without BURN IT DOWN or whatever the line is. AJ and Owens start things off with Styles wasting no time in hitting the drop down into the dropkick.

That’s enough of that though as it’s and they slug it out with AJ getting the better of it. The STUPID IDIOT chants mean it’s time for Jericho, who throws his shirt at AJ and hammers away. Styles dropkicks him down again as the announcers discuss Jericho insulting Undertaker on Twitter. It’s off to Ambrose vs. Rollins, which turns into far more of a wrestling match than it should.

Rollins can’t get a Pedigree so let’s go back to Jericho. Chris yells at Dean for the $15,000 jacket issue, earning himself some really bad armdrags. An enziguri cuts Dean down for two but Ambrose is right back with a bunch of right hands to the head. Shane comes in for the first time and my interest goes down. I’m still not a fan of middle aged Shane and this isn’t likely to change things.

Shane’s bad punches and an armdrag (better than Dean’s) take Jericho down until a dropkick cuts him off. The announcers debate the TV ratings as Reigns comes in and gets booed out of the building. Roman hammers him down in the corner and Seth comes in for a chinlock. That’s broken up so let’s go with Dean vs. Kevin. Owens hits a superkick but gets caught in a hurricanrana, only to have Jericho break up Dirty Deeds.

Everything breaks down and Strowman tags himself in, leaving the fans to chant for Ellsworth. The fight heads outside with Dean being left alone in the ring until Strowman catches his slingshot dive. Strowman walks him around the ring until AJ’s slingshot forearm to the floor breaks it up. Owens dives onto everyone and Strowman tosses Shane across the ring in a pretty good power display.

Some double teaming doesn’t do much to stop Strowman but they manage to knock him outside. That’s enough of Dean and Ambrose working together so they get in a fight, allowing Strowman to hit the running powerslam for the pin on Dean at 15:57. AJ was looking right at the cover and didn’t move. Shane gets to beat on Strowman for a bit but thankfully he gets hammered down as well.

The Phenomenal Forearm is pulled out of the air with AJ being tossed outside in a nasty heap. Orton gets thrown aside too but a stare from Bray stops Strowman in his tracks. Strowman grabs Jericho by the throat but decides to run Bray over instead, followed by a dropkick to put him on the floor. Braun goes outside as well but runs into an RKO onto the announcers’ table. After we pause to see what a random eight year old fan thought of it (he was applauding), Shane drops the top rope elbow to put Strowman through said table. That and Ellsworth grabbing Braun’s foot get Strowman counted out at 21:18.

Strowman catches Ellsworth running up the ramp though (How slow is this guy?) and throws him off the stage through some tables. Everyone else is mostly dead until Jericho covers Shane for two. Owens is fresh enough to drop the backsplash on Shane for two (but only after mocking the dance). There’s the Lionsault but Shane gets two of his own off a small package.

Shane takes a Codebreaker but Orton comes in before the cover, meaning Shane survives another finisher. He avoids a top rope splash though and it’s off to AJ to work on Jericho. With Owens getting in an insult to AJ’s hair (too far man), Jericho counters the Styles Clash into a failed Walls attempt. The Phenomenal Blitz rocks Jericho but Owens comes in with the List of Jericho to blast AJ. That’s a DQ at 29:23, but not before he gives AJ a Pop Up Powerbomb.

Orton gets the tag and comes in with the RKO to get rid of Jericho at 30:19. Notice Reigns blankly staring up at the ramp and not hearing the RKO RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. So it’s down to Shane/AJ/Orton/Wyatt vs. Reigns/Rollins with Orton hammering on Rollins to start. Wyatt and Orton take turns on Seth as Shane is still laid on the apron after his long time in the ring. The superplex takes Rollins down (looks great too) but it allows the hot tag to Reigns. AJ comes in as well and MY GOODNESS the fans do not like Reigns.

House is cleaned with a series of Samoan drops, followed by a great looking Razor’s Edge powerbomb for two on AJ. Seriously that was good enough to cut off the booing. A Pele cuts off a Superman Punch and it’s back to Shane for no logical reason. Shane gets in a tornado DDT to drop Reigns and a clothesline takes Rollins down. Reigns tries a spear but gets awkwardly countered into the post.

In probably the spot of the match, Shane loads up Coast to Coast but gets speared out of the air for a SICK landing. Shane actually kicks out at two but you can see that he is completely gone. Like Lesnar after the botched shooting star gone. The referee says Shane is eliminated at 37:07, presumably due to his brains looking like a pie that has been run over by a bus driven by raccoons.

We pause for a bit as doctors get Shane out of the ring until Roman blasts Bray with a clothesline. Rollins and AJ get stereo hot tags with Seth’s Blockbuster putting Styles down. There’s the slingshot knee to AJ and a suicide dive to Wyatt. With Reigns down on the floor, let’s hit that ROMAN’S SLEEPING chant! Still one of my favorites because the fans just will not give him a break no matter what. An enziguri staggers AJ on top and now it’s WAKE UP ROMAN. Reigns does in fact wake up and saves Rollins from a hanging DDT on the floor.

With Orton down, it seems as good a time as any for a DoubleBomb. Styles makes a save before it can be loaded up but here’s Ambrose to jump Styles again. The fans call Dean a STUPID IDIOT as the former Shield beats up security. NOW the TripleBomb puts AJ through the table, allowing Rollins to get the pin at 47:00. It’s down to two on two with the Wyatts vs. the Shield (not the worst idea in the world)….and here’s Luke Harper for a distraction so the Wyatts can take over.

Reigns posts Orton but Harper superkicks him down, only to have Rollins score with a flip dive to the floor. Back in and the low superkick hits Wyatt but he dives into an RKO, giving Bray the pin at 49:25. Reigns, all alone, sends both of them outside and takes Harper out as a bonus. Back in and Orton eats a spear to save Wyatt, leaving Bray to grab Sister Abigail for the pin at 52:50.

Rating: A. This is a great example of a match that benefits from all of the time it had. What I loved about this was how long it took to take someone out. Most of the people in here were former World Champions and it doesn’t make sense to have them losing in a minute or two like in the other matches. They let the match build up for a change and that’s what makes this feel important.

Above all else though, this felt like someone surviving instead of whoever was left last. Look at the women’s match. Bayley barely looked like she had been through anything at the end. Orton and Wyatt looked banged up, which is how they should after a match like this. It’s a well put together match that got the kind of time it needed, which is exactly how something like this should be. Really strong stuff here with Bray, who actually needed it, getting the win.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. Goldberg was being interviewed about being in WWE2K16 and said he didn’t owe Lesnar a rematch. Lesnar challenged him though and Goldberg wanted his son to see him wrestle. The match was on and it does indeed feel like a battle of two people who could kill each other.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

We get the full Goldberg entrance, complete with someone knocking on his door. Lesnar drives him into the corner to start but Goldberg shoves him right back down, scaring the heck out of Lesnar in the process. Back up and the spear connects to drop Lesnar again. There’s a second spear, followed by a Jackhammer to give Goldberg the huge upset at 1:25.

Yeah I still don’t like it. Sure it was shocking and a huge moment, but what did this set up? Goldberg eliminating Lesnar from the Rumble, Goldberg getting the most unnecessary Universal Title reign ever, and then a good sub five minute match at Wrestlemania. One of WWE’s biggest issues is giving fans something to cheer for and they give this spot to Goldberg, who they didn’t even create, for the sake of a video game (might not have been their call) and a story that could have made someone’s career. After this, Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman both fell to Lesnar, but Goldberg doesn’t. I don’t buy it, nor to I like it.

Goldberg celebrates with his family to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. One of the major perks about a match running nearly an hour on a three and a half hour show is that it can REALLY bring an overall rating up. Throw in a good women’s match and nothing really bad, this is actually a strong show. It’s far from perfect (main event aside, though that was the only thing that could have closed the show) but it’s a heck of a card, which I can always go for of course. The main issue is they could have gotten this one under three hours so it’s a bit long but nothing too bad. Really solid show though and most of that is due to the mega long match.

Ratings Comparison

Rich Swann/Noam Dar/TJ Perkins vs. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

Original: C

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Luke Harper

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Women’s Survivor Series Match

Original: C

Redo: C+

Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Tag Team Survivor Series Match

Original: D+

Redo: B

Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Original: C

Redo: C-

Men’s Survivor Series Match

Original: A-

Redo: A

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B+

My eyebrows went up when I saw the original overall rating. The year of mellowing on the ending have helped a lot as there’s no way this is a B-. Also I really couldn’t stand Sheamus and Cesaro back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/11/20/survivor-series-2016-there-are-no-words/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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