Monday Night Raw – January 23, 2006: Get To It Already

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 2006
Location: Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 7,900
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means it’s probably going to be time for a bunch of people to be thrown over the top in a big segment near the end of the show. Other than that we need Edge’s final night as champion before John Cena takes it back from him after three weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video, in the form of a movie trailer, looks at Edge winning the title and his path of….well a lot of things actually, on his way to the Royal Rumble.

Here are Edge and Lita for the opening chat. Lita promises that Edge is on the way to Wrestlemania as champion because he won’t be a transitional champion. He’s no Iron Sheik or Mick Foley or someone who lost the title 16 times like Ric Flair. Ric is a walking joke, but he isn’t exactly walking right now. He isn’t here tonight and he is NEVER receiving another title shot. The WE WANT FLAIR chants start up as Edge talks about John Cena joining Flair at the back of the line soon. Edge is ready to win on Sunday so he and Lita can celebrate with mirrors on the ceiling and the spinning hydraulic bed.

Cue Cena to offer Edge congratulations on the movie trailer. See, Cena saw the trailer but he has a bootleg copy of the actual movie. Cena has a review of the movie, which is the classic Boy Meets Ho story. This means various ho puns about Lita until the boy goes to Miami for the Royal Rumble, where he takes the worst beating of his life. Then she falls in love with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, because….you get the idea. Lawler: “I’ve got to see this movie.”

Lita doesn’t know what Cena is talking about but knows Cena and Edge need to find partners for tonight’s main event. She knows Edge will have options but Cena will have to play with himself. Cena: “It’s great to see something coming out of your mouth for once.” Cena promises to win on Sunday.

Kane vs. Carlito

Calito ducks the big shot in the corner and hammers away so Kane goes with right hands and elbows. Kane charges into an elbow though and Carlito’s middle rope dropkick gets two. The tornado DDT is broken up and Kane starts snapping off the clotheslines. A legdrop gets two and the side slam sets up the top rope clothesline. The Tombstone is countered into a Backstabber for two and a springboard twisting Swanton gets two. The chokeslam is broken up with a thumb to the eye and Carlito hits him with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much to hide the fact that Carlito isn’t a threat to anyone in the ring. His big move got a non-close two on Kane and they moved on like it was nothing. I know he can talk but you need something to back it up somewhere and that just isn’t the case with anything he does in the ring.

Edge suggests Lita, ahem, convince someone to be his partner. She goes into Big Show’s locker room.

Some Carolina Panthers are here.

Lita tries to convince Big Show by taking off her shirt but Edge comes in to say she’s not finishing anything until after the match. That’s a no.

Trish Stratus is warming up when Mickie James comes in to freak out over Trish teaming with Ashley tonight. Trish can’t calm her down and Mickie leaves.

Coach says there is one spot left in the Royal Rumble and he’ll be taking it himself. Jerry Lawler doesn’t like that and, after calling Coach a skinhead, challenges him to a qualifying match. Deal.

Trish Stratus/Ashley vs. Victoria/Candice Michelle

Torrie Wilson is in the villains’ corner. Ashley and Victoria start things off with Ashley hitting a springboard ax handle (not bad) and bringing in Trish. That means a super hurricanrana to take Victoria down again but Victoria kicks Ashley in the head. A wheelbarrow splash gives Candice two but the slingshot flipping legdrop misses. Trish comes in to clean house, including a spinebuster to Victoria. With Trish and Candice fighting on the floor, Ashley high crossbodies Victoria for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure how many times they can have some combination of the same six women but they are certainly giving it every chance they can. Ashley looked better here than at any time in the ring so far. She still can’t do much more than spots, but she’s doing them with some confidence and that is a step forward for her.

Post match, Mickie runs in and jumps Ashley again. Trish and a referee can barely break it up.

Mama Benjamin is cleaning the locker room because it needs to be nice around here. Shelton comes in and says Shawn Michaels called him a mama’s boy. Mama says Shawn is just jealous, and she could whip Shawn’s mama too.

Video on Billy Graham, who has a book and DVD out. He’s also here, because he doesn’t hate Vince this week.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

Mama Benjamin is here too. Hold on though as here’s Vince McMahon to say that if Shawn loses here, he’s out of the Rumble. They trade hammerlocks to start until Shelton grabs a sunset flip for two. A headlock takeover takes Shawn over with a headlock and then he does it again to make his point especially clear. Back up and Shawn hits a chop and a clothesline puts Shelton on the floor.

Mama is checking on her boy but Shawn is back with more chops. They head inside again with Shelton springboarding in but stopping short of the superkick in a callback to their classic last year. A kick to Shawn’s head takes us to a break and we come back with Shelton hitting a suplex.

We hit the chinlock, setting up a Samoan drop for two more. The chinlock goes on again but Mama wants to see a whipping. The superplex attempt is broken up and Shelton runs the corner to kick Shawn in the head for a crash to the floor. We take another break and come back with Shawn slugging away, setting up the forearm.

Shelton runs the corner for a belly to belly superplex and connects with the Dragon Whip for two. Shawn hits another running clothesline and tunes up the band, only to have Mama offer a distraction. That means there’s no referee to count Shelton’s rollup, allowing Shawn to reverse into one of his own and grab the trunks for the pin.

Rating: B. It wasn’t their match from last year but that is a pretty high standard to reach. The Mama stuff has been toned down a lot since her debut and they are settling into more of a rhythm. The gimmick is still death for Shelton, but he was long past the point of having any significant value after the last five months or so.

Post match, Shelton tears a bit.

Edge and Lita pitch the main event spot to HHH. He’ll think about it.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Vince comes in to see Shawn, who wants to know why Vince has gone so psycho on him. Vince just wants to be happy, so he’ll spend some of his money on himself. For now though, he wants WWE to be more about sex, drugs and rock and roll. He offers Shawn a part in the decadence because he’s played the loving husband long enough. Shawn says no, but Vince seems to have a plan.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

Coach shoulders him down to start but misses a charge in the corner. There’s a suplex to Coach….and the Spirit Squad debuts, much to Lawler’s confusion. He doesn’t seem to mind though as he hits Coach and goes to the middle rope. The Squad offers another distraction though and Coach grabs a rollup for the pin. So there’s your introduction to one of the more infamous acts of the era.

Post match the Squad does a cheer in Coach’s honor.

Battle Royal

Big Show, Gregory Helms, Rob Conway, Lance Cade

This is a weird one as anyone who throws Show over the top is in the Rumble, but Show doesn’t have anything to win. Show cleans house and wins in a hurry in exactly the way you would expect.

Post match here’s HHH to say he’ll win the Rumble. Edge is on his own tonight because HHH is done with making stars. He’s going to Wrestlemania to win either World Title.

Lita offers to calm the nervous Edge down but he’s too worried about not having a partner. Someone comes in and Edge thinks they’re perfect. As usual, the person doesn’t say anything and isn’t seen.

Edge/??? vs. John Cena/???

The partners are…..Chris Masters and Ric Flair. Well the latter was about as obvious as you could get and that’s not a bad thing. Edge is nice enough to let Masters start with Cena as the WE WANT FLAIR chants start up again. Cena grabs a fisherman’s suplex on Masters and hands it off to Flair, getting rid of any possible mixed reaction for a little while. Flair chops Edge off the apron but gets slammed down by Masters.

Edge adds a suplex on the floor and stomps away a bit so Masters can get two. Flair’s chops don’t do much good and it’s a powerslam into a bearhug. Another gorilla press connects but Edge misses a top rope chop. The diving tag brings in Cena and everything breaks down. Flair chop blocks Masters to break up a Masterlock attempt and it’s the FU into the STF for the win.

Rating: C-. Standard main event style tag match here with the best logical ending they could have. If nothing else it makes sense to put Flair out there in Charlotte to let him do something simple. Edge being scared of Cena was exactly what you would expect of him and it makes Cena seem like even more of a threat to the title, if that is possible.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird show as the Rumble card is mostly set, leaving this show mainly focusing on enforcing what was made. There were a few minor changes, but it wasn’t a show that you needed to see. Shawn vs. Shelton was good, but there is nothing left but the Rumble for now and it’s time to get to Wrestlemania season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 9, 2006 (2020 Redo): The Rated R Champion

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 9, 2006
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’re past New Year’s Revolution, meaning that it’s time to go towards the Royal Rumble and Edge has “stolen” (not really but it’s what commentary is saying) the Raw World Title from John Cena. It should be interesting to see where he goes from here, as he only has so many ways to go to get to the Rumble where he can lose the title back to Cena. Let’s get to it.

Here is New Year’s Revolution if you need a recap

Elimination Chamber/cash-in recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a fired up Cena to get things going, but these fans need to bring it louder with the mixed reactions. Cena talks about how many choices there are to make, like Edge choosing to cash in Money in the Bank and fans choosing to boo or ride with him. Cena is going to bat for everyone who rides with him and tells the people who are drinking the Haterade what they can do. He wants his rematch with Edge right here tonight (good thing there’s a rematch clause in the Money in the Bank contract).

Cue Lita with the title to say the rematch is coming at the Rumble, not tonight (apparently thanks to some special persuasion of Vince McMahon). Instead, Edge has something else to do tonight, and it’s going to be with Lita, in the middle of the ring. Tonight though, Edge is going to last longer than two minutes. Edge knows what to do do in bed and unlike Cena, he knows how to wrestle. Lita goes to leave but Cena tells the “one woman hooker parade to stop.” There may be a lot of people here who think he sucks but everyone KNOWS she can. Cena is taking the title back at the Rumble.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Ashley

Trish is defending and Mickie James insists that the fans cheer Trish a lot louder than that. After Trish isn’t exactly cool with that, Ashley gets some of the least convincing headlocks I can ever remember. Trish shrugs it off but gets dropped on her face out of the corner….so Mickie comes in for the DQ in a hurry.

Post match Lilian messes up the announcement and says Trish is the winner, causing some confusing.

Rob Van Dam is back in the Royal Rumble.

Cena meets with Vince in the back and talks about the first ever live sex celebration tonight. If Cena interferes, there is no rematch at the Rumble. Cena is fine with that, but points out that Vince still has some evidence of Lita’s, uh, persuasion. Vince will take care of that.

Chris Masters grabs Carlito and demands answers after last night. Eventually Masters lets go because he doesn’t have the best attention span.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Rob Conway vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo slugs away to start and hits the Eddie pose, only to get thrown over the top and kicked out to the floor. Back in and Chavo knocks him outside for a change, setting up the dive. Chavo snaps off a headscissors and hammers away in the corner, only to have Conway roll through a high crossbody for two. Conway stops to mock the Eddie pose so Chavo grabs Three Amigos. The frog splash finishes Conway without much trouble.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure if that’s the best choice for a followup match to the nothing opener but Chavo is always good for a mostly smooth match. Conway is good for the same, though it’s clear that nothing is going to be happening with him anytime soon. I’ll take a passable yet boring match over a bad one though so at least it’s an upgrade. Kind of.

Wrestlemania Big Time moment: Edge wins the Money in the Bank briefcase.

Kurt Angle comes in to see Shawn Michaels because they’re partners tonight. No, they don’t trust each other.

Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin run into Val Venis because Mama has seen some of his movies. Val lists off some of his titles, sending Mama into a rant about being a good Christian woman and how Venis is going to h***. Tonight, against Shelton.

Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Shawn Michaels/Kurt Angle

Daivari is here with Angle and Shawn. It’s a brawl to start until Masters is sent outside, leaving Shawn to elbow Carlito for one. The headlock goes on and Shawn grabs the hair to keep it on. Angle comes in to continue the headlocking and it’s off to Shawn and Masters. Shawn knocks him around for a bit and hands it back to Angle, who walks into a powerslam. It’s too early for the Masterlock as Angle reverses into a German suplex. Shawn and Angle are knocked to the floor though and an argument takes us to a break.

Back with Carlito hammering on Angle until he snaps off a belly to belly for a breather. Shawn gets the hot tag and starts cleaning house, including the top rope elbow to asters. Carlito breaks up Sweet Chin Music though and crotches Shawn against the st to put him down. The chinlock goes on as Shawn is bleeding from the forehead. Shawn fights up and hits a backdrop as Daivari needs to point something out to Angle.

As a result, Shawn has to DDT Masters but Angle needs to make sure that Daivari still has his gold medal. I’d be more worried about why it had a red white and blue strap around it last night and a green one tonight but that’s just me. Anyway Shawn pulls Angle over the top and gives him Sweet Chin Music, leaving Angle to get Masterlocked as Shawn is rather pleased. Shawn superkicks Daivari as Angle is out.

Rating: C. I’m assuming we’re coming up on Angle vs. Michaels again and that could be another classic. Other than that, the match itself was a long form acceptable tag match, but not exactly memorable. There is only so much that you can get out of Carlito and Masters in the ring and that is becoming more and more obvious every week.

Wrestlemania is coming.

Vince runs into Shawn and gives him another match with Angle next week. After that, they’re moving on.

HHH says last night was crazy but he is the one constant around here. That’s why he’s winning the Royal Rumble and the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania.

Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle and Victoria test out Edge and Lita’s bed.

Last night, Edge and Lita promised a live sex celebration for Raw. Shouldn’t this have been aired before the announcement?

Stacy Keibler is still on Dancing With The Stars.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Val Venis

Mama Benjamin is here too. Shelton kicks him into the corner but Val punches his way out without much trouble. Val knocks him outside so Shelton can hide behind Mama, allowing a cheap shot to Val on the way back in. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Val is up with a Rock Bottom for two and he ducks the Dragon Whip. The Money Shot misses but Shelton gets pulled off the top. With Shelton down, Mama pulls out one of her hair pins and stabs Val in the back of the trunks, knocking him into the exploder for the pin.

Rating: C-. What matters most here is Mama was toned WAY down here, to the point where she was talking only slightly more than a usual manager. They also didn’t have her mic’d up as much and it made a big difference. Turning Shelton heel with the help of his Mama is fine, but don’t make Mama the star like you were doing last night.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Kane vs. Snitsky

Snitsky jumps him and gets chokeslammed for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Kane promises 29 more victims at the Royal Rumble. When is he going to promise to defend the Tag Team Titles?

Edge arrives.

Here are Edge and Lita for their celebration. Edge: “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” Edge brags about everything he did last night and how no one saw it coming. You don’t have to be the biggest or strongest in this business because you need to be the smartest. He and Lita have saved themselves for tonight so hit the music.

The title is placed on the pillow and Edge takes his shoes off. He gets to take off Lita’s boots as Coach wonders if Snitsky is watching. They disrobe each other and Edge unhooks Lita’s bra before covering her with the blanket. Various movements are made under said blanket and Edge comes out with Lita’s underwear in his mouth.

Cue Ric Flair to talk about what it means to become WWE Champion. Edge doesn’t have any of that and he’s dead in the bed Fred. Now Flair is going to show Edge how to do everything….so Edge hits Flair in the head with a chair. The Conchairto crushes Flair’s head, drawing out Cena for the late save. Edge runs as an FU to Lita ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. Famous ending segment aside, this was just a run of the mill show. They’re getting ready for the Rumble now though and that’s the best thing that can happen at the moment. The show is one of the most important of the year and it should be nice to see things with a big time goal. I’m not sure how much of a future Edge has, but he certainly started on a high note. Now just follow up on it.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Year’s Revolution 2006 (2020 Redo): Save Us Ladies

IMG Credit: WWE

New Year’s Revolution 2006
Date: January 8, 2006
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’ve got a one match show here and that doesn’t exactly instill me with confidence. This show is all about the Elimination Chamber, with John Cena defending the Raw World Title against five challengers. The only other match of note on the card is Big Show vs. HHH, but it’s a far cry from the main event. Let’s get to it.

The opening video only focuses on the Chamber, which is all it should be doing.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Flair takes a bit too long getting ready though and Edge jumps him to start, meaning it’s some early choking in the corner. The chops get Flair out of trouble and it’s time to hammer away at the head. A quick Lita chase lets Edge hit a clothesline though and there’s a suplex on the floor. Back in and Edge stomps away in the corner before raining down the right hands.

Flair slugs away though and knocks Edge outside for the crotching on the barricade. Lita tries to make a save as Flair goes up top so he pokes her in the eye and manages to hit the top rope shot to the head. Another Lita distraction fails (this time with Flair giving her the pelvic thrusts) and Flair backdrops Edge outside. That leaves Lita to get caught in the Figure Four, only to have Edge come in with the briefcase for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one and it’s kind of a disappointment after Edge has been such a thorn to Edge for so long. They seemed to be setting the stage for a rematch down the line, but this could have been on any given episode of Raw. That’s not exactly a great way to go when this show is already a one note evening anyway.

Post match Flair is busted open so Edge hammers away, followed by another briefcase shot to leave him laying.

Kurt Angle and Daivari hope that America loses the war in Iraq, express their love for France, acknowledge that they don’t really like “the black people” and if there was one person Angle would want to make tap out in history, it would be Jesus. All this proves is that he can say anything he wants and fans will cheer him because he’s that awesome. He won his first title here in Albany and he’ll do it again here tonight.

Flair is just now being taken out of the ring.

We recap Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. Mickie is basically a crazed stalker who might have romantic feelings for Trish as well. They’re fighting tonight, but Mickie seems way more excited about being in the ring with Trish rather than the chance of winning the title.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and can’t cartwheel out of a wristlock to start. A hammerlock into a headlock keeps Trish in control so Mickie grabs the chest for the creepy escape. Mickie slips out of a hammerlock and grabs a rollup for two before kicking Trish outside. Back in and Trish kicks her hard in the head for her own knock to the floor.

Mickie gets in a shot to the face and they head back inside, with Trish chopping away. The Stratusphere into a spinebuster gets two but Mickie is back with her own Stratusfaction. That gets a delayed two but Trish is back up with a failed Stratusfaction attempt. Mickie lands on her feet, only to walk into the Chick Kick to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: B. Trish has taken a big step forward in recent months as she looked a lot more serious here and felt like a star. This came off like a fight between two people who wanted to win a match and you don’t see that in the division very often. It’s nice to see two people taking this seriously and having a serious match. It doesn’t help though when the rest of the division is Victoria and various parts of other wrestlers.

Maria interviews herself about the gauntlet match when Gregory Helms interrupts to say he’s about to get rid of Jerry Lawler.

Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin arrive, with Mama going to get him something nice to eat.

Edge doesn’t want to talk to fans on WWE.com.

Gregory Helms vs. Jerry Lawler

Helms armdrags him down to start so Lawler goes with the classic right hands. A backdrop gives Lawler two and he even strikes the Hurricane pose for a chuckle. That’s enough to send a frustrated Helms to the floor but he comes back in with a poke to the eye. The choking is on, followed by a suplex for what is likely the biggest spot of the match.

Helms hits a second one as commentary makes sure you know that Lawler is a former World Champion. That’s a good idea, as not only was it a different promotion, but also over fifteen years ago. Let the fans know that Lawler was a big deal in his day, as some fans aren’t going to know. We hit the neck crank into a backbreaker so Helms can go up to the middle rope.

Helms is ready for the raised boot so he stomps away again and sends Lawler outside for a posting. After a quick cameo on commentary, Helms hits a middle rope dropkick for two back inside. Lawler avoids a charge into the corner though and there goes the strap. Some right hands connect and the threat of the piledriver gets the fans’ attention. That’s blocked by a backdrop though, only to have Helms get crotched on top. The fist drop gives Lawler the pin.

Rating: D. This was a weird one as it was set up on Monday, had almost no heat, and didn’t get any kind of a reaction outside of the piledriver tease. Then again, why in the world would you have this on pay per view with Lawler winning? Lawler can do this basic match in his sleep so it was passable from a technical sense, but I’m not sure how much sense it made.

Mickie runs into Trish at the interview room and talks about their sweaty bodies touching. Trish: “You do know you just lost right?” Mickie sits in on the interview with her.

Mama Benjamin wants some cornbread and cabbage at catering but here’s Viscera to hit on her in various ways. Mama snaps up and introduces herself, so Viscera offers to let him be her daddy. A match is set for later, and Mama takes his food.

We recap Big Show vs. HHH. Big Show cost him his Elimination Chamber qualifying match so HHH wants revenge. He crushed Show’s hand with a sledgehammer, only to have Show’s hand go into a very hard cast.

Big Show vs. HHH

They circle each other to start and Show knocks him outside with one shot. Back in and a chop brings HHH to his knees, followed by anther to put him down. The elbow drop sends HHH bailing to the floor for a second before coming back in again. This time, Show sends him flying over the corner as nothing is working so far. HHH gets in a jumping knee to the face and they head outside again but Show punches the post by mistake.

Back in and HHH sends the hand into the post to do some serious damage. Show gets back up and hits a headbutt, only to miss a charge and crash out to the floor. The cast is torn off and HHH rips at the fingers, setting up the knee to the hand. A quick armbar sets up another ram into the post but Show fights out of the top wristlock. Show knocks HHH into the referee so HHH pulls out the sledgehammer.

The bad hand breaks the hammer in half and a superkick puts HHH down. The chair doesn’t work either for HHH so he hits Show low and uses the chair on the hand. Since it’s just his hand though, Show spears HHH down on the floor. Back in and HHH manages a sledgehammer shot to the head, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a long one with HHH working on the hand for a good while before going back to the trusty sledgehammer all over again. That being said, it was rather nice to have HHH doing ANYTHING other than being in the main event all over again. I know he hasn’t been there for a good while now, but after such a long time, it feels like he is there all the time.

Chris Masters and Carlito form the alliance before the Chamber.

Lawler joins commentary.

Here are Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin with Shelton demanding an apology. Mama says no way and shouts about how Shelton is going to beat Viscera up.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Mama is very loud to start as Shelton is powered into the corner to start. A spinebuster plants Shelton again and it’s time to head outside for some Mama help. Viscera follows and beats on him a bit more, only to have Shelton get in a dropkick to the leg back inside. With Mama promising a SWEET POTATO PIE if Shelton wins, it’s time to go after the leg. Mama: “Come on you big ox.”

Viscera kicks him to the floor and it’s a Samoan drop to plant Shelton back inside. Mama: “DO I NEED TO GET THE BELT???” The big elbow gets two and there’s the spinning Samoan drop. Mama: “YOU BETTER WHOOP HIM OR I’M GONNA WHOOP YOU!” The Visagra has Mama panicking but Shelton knocks him into the ropes. Mama gets in a few purse shots, setting up the Dragon Whip for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another Raw level match but Mama was the story here. The problem is that while she was funny, she is going to get old in a hurry and that might have already started. It’s nice seeing Shelton win, but I really don’t get why he needs this kind of goofy deal to get him off the losing streak. It wasn’t the worst, but the gimmick is going to end anything Shelton has going.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shawn Michaels. Shawn says he’ll win, Vince says he won’t.

Bra and Panties Gauntlet Match

Maria is in at #1 and Candice Michelle is in at #2. Candice breaks a nail to start and is so mad that she rips of Maria’s top. Maria evens things up as commentary makes every joke you would expect. Candice’s headscissors is countered though and Maria eliminates her. Torrie Wilson is in at #3 and runs Maria over with an elbow. Maria kicks her out to the floor though and gets rid of Torrie’s top. They roll over the referee and Torrie is so annoyed that Maria finishes her off to move on.

Victoria is in at #5 in a “Let’s get this over with” shirt. A quick standing moonsault lets Victoria eliminate Maria so here are Mae Young and Moolah to continue the oldest gag in company history. Mae takes her own top off (there are tassels on the bra) and the pants come down for a second as well. Victoria jumps Mae so they rip off her shirt….or at least try to as it gets stuck on her bra. Mae and Moolah leave so here’s Ashley at #6 to complete the field. The Widow’s Peak doesn’t work and Ashley wins after about fifteen seconds in the ring.

Rating: D-. It takes a lot to make this kind of a match stupid but they managed to figure out a way to do so. Moolah and Mae stopped being funny years ago and I didn’t really need to see them again here. It’s even worse when you see how good a women’s match could be at this time, but other than Victoria, there just wasn’t anything worthwhile at this point.

Ashley takes her clothes off to celebrate.

Shelton is celebrating his win when his Mama has to tell him to watch his swearing. She references her purse helping and gives him a hug, with Shelton not being sure what to think of things.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle vs. Kane vs. Chris Masters vs. John Cena vs. Carlito

Cena is defending in the Elimination Chamber with four minute intervals. Joey talks about how he never saw anything as hardcore as this in ECW, showing that, again, WWE commentators have horrible memories. Shawn Michaels is in at #1 (as per Vince’s orders) and Cena is in at #2 (drawing a very notably mixed reaction, which is a pretty new thing for him). Shawn starts fast and throws him over the top as the dueling chants begin.

Back in and Cena hits a boot to the face, drawing even more booing. Shawn gets crotched on top and then clotheslined outside as Carlito is in at #3. Carlito jumps Cena and the place is VERY pleased, made even better as he dives over the ropes to take out Shawn. Back in and Carlito gets the biggest reactions of his career as he beats on Cena and a slightly weaker one as he suplexes Shawn.

Carlito keeps beating on both of them but a double flapjack takes them down. The double teaming is on but it’s Angle coming in at #4 for the rapid fire suplexes. Carlito and Shawn get suplexed over the top and onto the steel, followed by a catapult to send Shawn into the cage. Shawn is busted open and gets sent into the pod wall, leaving a blood stain on the Plexiglas in a cool/disturbing image. Cena fights back against Angle for a few seconds but gets knocked right back down.

There’s the ankle lock to Carlito but it’s Masters in at #5 for the safe to protect the alliance. The ankle lock (not Angle Lock Joey) has Master in trouble and then it’s even worse on Cena. Shawn breaks that up with a superkick and Angle is out in a hurry, all but guaranteeing the winner. Carlito and Masters beat up Shawn and Cena without much trouble until Kane is in at #6 (announced in advance) to start cleaning house.

Kane chokeslams Shawn and Cena but Masters saves Carlito from a chokeslam onto the steel. The Backstabber drops Kane…who is right back up. A double DDT makes Kane sit up again so Masters drops Carlito onto him and a double pin gets rid of Kane. Shawn is back up and takes down Carlito and Masters, setting up the top rope elbow on Cena. The superkick drops Cena but Carlito takes Shawn down with a Roll of the Dice for the pin.

Masters covers Cena for two and the comeback is on in a hurry. Masters gives Cena a DDT onto the cage, busting him open as well. The fans boo the heck out of Cena as the stomping continues instead of, you know, one of their finishers. Carlito wants the Masterlock but then hits Masters low for the rollup elimination. Cena rolls Carlito up to retain in a hurry.

Rating: D. It’s probably the worst Chamber match ever to this point and still one of the lowest on the all time list. The only realistic options to win were Cena and Angle, with Angle being gone after only a few minutes. Carlito and Masters aren’t ready to be threats to Cena so it was more a lot of sitting around waiting until we got to the finish rather than any kind of drama. It wasn’t a complete disaster, but it really wasn’t very good at all.

Hold on though because Vince McMahon is here before the lyrics in Cena’s music even start. We’re not done tonight because for the first time ever, someone is cashing in their Money in the Bank briefcase and the title is being defended RIGHT NOW.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Cena is knocked down in a hurry so Edge hits the spear for two to take the life out of the fans again. That’s fine with Edge, who spears Cena again to win the title for the first time, which is a pretty cool moment and completely appropriate for him. Still one of the best cash-ins ever (maybe the best) and perfect for the situation.

Edge and Lita (Lawler: “Behind every man, there’s a sl**.”) celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I really didn’t like this show and there was almost nothing (scheduled) worth seeing, with Mickie vs. Trish being the only good thing about the whole thing. This has been a throw away show for its two year history and having the Elimination Chamber doesn’t help all that much. Edge cashing in helps it out a lot, but it’s just a short burst at the end of a two hour and forty minute show. Maybe it can help the show going forward, and this was a lot of proof as to why it was needed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 2, 2006: The Balancing Act

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 2, 2006
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,896
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We’re starting off a new year with a go home show as we get ready for New Year’s Revolution. The show is the definition of a one match event and I’m not sure if John Cena is ready to carry that kind of a show on his shoulders. I’m not sure what we’re going to get tonight but hopefully a lot of it is spent on getting the rest of the card ready. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. He recaps his Zero Tolerance Policy from last week, meaning no more Mr. Nice Guy. Shawn Michaels doesn’t think much of it and Vince should have fired him on the spot. Everything he has done in his professional life has been for the fans so starting tonight, it’s all about him. That includes tonight’s first blood match, and the match you’re about to see.

Kane vs. Shawn Michaels

Hold on though as Vince has a special rule: if Shawn uses a superkick, it’s an automatic DQ. Shawn chops away in the corner to start but gets knocked down by the uppercuts. A sunset flip gives Shawn two but Kane hits him in the face again as the beating is on. More chops get Shawn out of trouble and he manages to clothesline Kane outside. The slingshot dive connects so Vince yells at Shawn, allowing Kane to get in a cheap shot from behind.

We take a break and come back with Kane driving him into the corner and hitting a belly to back suplex. The choking ensues and a knee drop gets two, much to Vince’s amusement. There’s the neck crank and more choking, plus an uppercut for two. Another neck crank is broken up in a hurry and Shawn slips out of the chokeslam attempt.

Shawn fights out of the corner and hits the flying forearm into the nipup. A DDT gets two on Kane, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for the same. You don’t do that to Kane though as he kicks Shawn’s head off, only to miss the top rope clothesline. Shawn’s top rope elbow connects and he tunes up the band, but Vince threatens to throw him out of the Elimination Chamber. That’s enough of a distraction for Kane to hit the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Oh yeah it’s going to be a long form story and heavy on the McMahon, which isn’t exactly promising for the near or distant future. Vince being all evil works, but Shawn as the family man Steve Austin isn’t exactly the most interesting adversary. Then again, they’re doing a story built off the Montreal Screwjob so what are you expecting?

During the break, Vince made Shawn the #1 entrance in the Chamber.

Gregory Helms thinks Jerry Lawler is holding him down, but Lawler doesn’t quite agree. Cue Helms to say it to Lawler’s face. Lawler gets in the ring so Helms can ask where the Hurricane jokes are. If anyone is going to be mocked for their appearance, it should be Lawler. That’s fine with Jerry, who thinks Helms is now just a guy, who sucks. The fight is on and Helms is knocked to the floor, allowing Lawler to challenge him for New Year’s Revolution. Game on.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Vince McMahon asks Mickie James about kissing Trish Stratus when Kurt Angle and Daivari storm in. Angle wants Daivari to be the guest referee in the first blood match but Vince isn’t happy with Angle’s comments about the military. Vince wants blood from someone tonight so Angle promises to make John Cena bleed so badly that Vince will have to drive him to the hospital.

We look at Mickie kissing Trish last week.

Trish is running the steps and doesn’t want to talk about the kiss. Instead, she’s just focused on the title match, but for now it’s time for a shower.

Maria is hosting the Kiss Cam but here are Victoria (in a neck brace thanks to Carlito), Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle to interrupt. Maria: “Did you guys want to be on Kiss Cam”? Victoria didn’t have a good New Year and Maria probably doesn’t know they have a match tonight. A kick to the ribs has Maria in trouble and the bell rings.

Maria vs. Victoria

Victoria is wrestling in the neck brace and beats Maria down without much trouble. The referee breaks things up and Candice’s interference fails, allowing Maria to grab a rollup for the very fast pin.

Post match the beatdown is on and of course Maria is stripped. Ashley makes the save but gets taken down with the Double D DT.

During the break, Vince made a bra and panties gauntlet match for Sunday.

Mickie steals Trish’s towel so she has to hear Mickie’s apology for last week. She hands over the towel and compliments Trish’s….oh you can figure it out.

Here are Edge and Lita on the platform for a chat. Edge talks about Ric Flair being a legend but anyone who respects Flair is full of it. See, Edge is one of a kind and would be whether there was a Ric Flair or not. We get some amateur video of Flair’s road rage incident….and it’s Edge in a Flair costume cutting off the car, chopping the driver, and putting him in the Figure Four on the highway. You knew the impression was coming somewhere in this feud.

Back in the arena, Edge talks about Flair’s divorce and Lita hopes Flair’s wife takes everything. On Sunday, Edge is rescuing the Intercontinental Title but here’s Flair for the brawl. They fight to the ring with Edge getting beaten up in the corner but Lita breaks up the Figure Four. That just earns her the Figure Four as Edge bails. This hasn’t been bad, even though referencing Flair embarrassing himself (again) might not be the best idea.

Video on Stacy Keibler competing on Dancing With The Stars.

Chris Masters vs. Shelton Benjamin

Masters powers him around to start and hammers Shelton for daring to try a backslide. A hard clothesline gives Masters two but Shelton punches his way out of the corner. The running forearm and a running knee lift sets up a kick to the head for two. Well three but Masters had a foot on the ropes at two. Shelton is getting annoyed at the pace of the count but he’s able to reverse the Masterlock into a backbreaker for two. A missed clothesline lets Masters grab the Masterlock on the second attempt though and Shelton is done.

Rating: C. I can’t even get annoyed at Shelton losing anymore as that phone call last week seemed rather ominous. The same could be said about losing clean to Masters, even if he is heading to the pay per view main event. Masters isn’t going to win the thing, but they’re doing a good enough job of building him up for a short form push.

Another Elimination Chamber video.

Ben Roethlisberger was at a house show.

Here’s HHH for a chat. He talks about people who want to get things done but then fail miserably. That doesn’t apply to him of course, because he knows how to find the right tool to accomplish the job. There are no chances in the ring because he always knows what is going to happen. Big Show thought he had it figured out but then last week happened.

We see a clip from…five weeks ago of Show yelling at HHH, which isn’t the footage that was supposed to air. HHH talks about breaking Show’s hand with the sledgehammer and the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Cue Show with a giant cast on his hand so he can punch a chair and a monitor out of HHH’s hands. HHH bails because this wasn’t what he had planned.

Smackdown Rebound.

Shelton is in the back….and here’s his Mama. She came all the way from South Carolina to see him lose and that’s not what the Benjamins do. He needs to start doing what she says and get in the shower because he stinks. And that would be it for Shelton’s career prospects for a long, long time.

Elimination Chamber rundown.

One more Elimination Chamber video.

Here’s Cena for a chat before the main event. He isn’t worried about his opponents in the Chamber, because Masters can’t smell WWE, Carlito bites pillows, Angle doesn’t like the troops…and here’s Angle to cut him off.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title, first blood and Daivari is in Angle’s corner. Joined in progress with Angle rolling the German suplexes to quite the popular reaction. Daivari takes a turnbuckle pad off as the crowd is either very interested in this or sweetened. Cena fights back and sends Angle hard out to the floor but Daivari gets in a gold medal shot. Back in and Angle pounds at the unopened head before sending him face first into the exposed buckle. The straps come down for the Angle Slam and it’s time for a chair. Cena slugs him down but Daivari jumps on Cena’s back before he can swing the chair. The ankle lock is broken up and we get a ref bump (to go with the interference and first blood rules five minutes into the match), allowing Angle to chair Cena in the head. Cena is busted but reverses Angle’s FU into the STFU, only for the referee to see the blood (and it is EVERYWHERE) to give Angle the win.

Rating: C+. These two always had good chemistry together and that was the case again here. Throw in a gory blade job and Daivari interfering as he should have and it was a fast paced and violent main event. It doesn’t hurt Cena to lose a match like this thanks to cheating so they kept it safe while doing what they needed to do.

Post match Carlito and Masters run in for the big brawl but it’s Kane to clean house. Shawn comes in to superkick Kane but Cena is back up with the FU and all six are down.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had a weird balance to maintain as there is a card on Sunday aside from the Elimination Chamber, but I’m not sure if anyone is even remotely interested in most of it. They did a good enough job of making me interested, though it’s all about that one match and that’s very obvious. At the same time though, this show included the debut of Mama Benjamin and any show that does that is not going to receive the highest grade. They did a nice balancing act here though and that’s harder than it seems.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – December 26, 2005: This Is Going To Be A Big One

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 26, 2005
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’re closing out the Raw side of 2005 with this and that could might not be the best news. With less than two weeks to go before New Year’s Revolution, it’s time to build up what is left of the card aside from the Elimination Chamber main event. I’m not sure what that is going to entail but we should be in for something here. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show and promises to continue the General Manager hunt. Also tonight, a Beat the Clock Challenge between the six Elimination Chamber participants, with the winner getting to enter last. Finally, tonight Vince will be reviewing the new Bret Hart DVD and then giving his candid comments in the arena. There is no way this can end well.

Opening sequence.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Shawn Michaels vs. Snitsky

Shawn starts fast and tries a sunset flip but has to avoid the right hand. One heck of a clothesline drops Shawn though and Snitsky drives him into the corner. The side slam gets two and it’s time to head outside. A ram into the apron stays on the back and Snitsky drops some elbows for two.

The bearhug is broken up in a hurry and Shawn chops away, followed by the flying forearm. Another clothesline gives Snitsky another two but the superplex is broken up. There’s the top rope elbow but Snitsky kicks him in the face to break up Sweet Chin Music. The second attempt works just fine though and Snitsky is done at 5:56 to set the time.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of amazing how many times Shawn gets a good match out of a hopeless goof like Snitsky. They told a simple story here and the match worked just fine as a result. It wasn’t about Shawn possibly losing, but rather giving Shawn an obstacle to overcome to get the win. The time adds an additional element and they had a nice enough time as a result.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge with Ric Flair as the special guest again. This time though, it’s a picture of Flair with a moving mouth. The voice (which sounds a heck of a lot like Matt Striker) asks where the Horsemen are and goes on a rant about how awesome he is. Edge talks about Flair stealing everything from him but Flair talks about being big from Ashton Kutcher to Abdullah the Butcher.

The road rage incident is brought up and Flair says he pretended that it was Edge and beat him up….then he got arrested. Edge promises to win the World Title and hold it longer than all sixteen of Flair’s reigns combined. Cue the real Flair to get rid of Edge without much effort.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Masters vs. Chavo Guerrero

The time is set at 5:56. Chavo dodges a bit to start and tags him in the jaw before bailing out to the floor to kill some clock. Back in and a dropkick puts Masters on the floor but he drives Chavo back first into the apron. The Masterlock doesn’t work so Masters goes with a fall away slam for two. With two minutes left, Masters starts in on the back but still can’t get the Masterlock. Chavo gets two off a victory roll but the tornado DDT is countered. Masters grabs the Masterlock but Chavo survives.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t work as well, mainly because Masters just isn’t very good. There is only so much that you can get out of a musclebound lug like him but at least he’s slowly getting a bit better. The problem is how limited he is with his one dimensional offense. Chavo tried, but he’s not quite Shawn. To be fair though, who is?

Post match, Masters says the clock was fast, and promises to become the new WWE Champion at New Year’s Resolution. Chavo dropkicks him to the floor for not knowing the name of the pay per view.

Kurt Angle rants about how bad Tribute to the Troops was because the troops want praise for building some schools. There hasn’t been a draft since Vietnam so they all volunteered for this. They chose to leave so he doesn’t want to hear about all of their sacrifices.

Torrie Wilson is in Vince’s office and Vince thinks the dog wants to be GM. Todd Grisham comes in and Vince wants him to tell Flair that he’s defending the Intercontinental Title against Edge at New Year’s Revolution. Also, Todd interviewed Bret Hart a few weeks ago on Byte This. Vince: “Do you think I could take him?” Todd immediately agrees and Vince says he has a future around here. Todd leaves and Vince tells Torrie he loves playing with puppies. Shockingly enough, Torrie looks like she’s about to be sick.

Mickie James is very happy to get to spend Christmas with Trish Stratus and is even happier to get a title shot at the pay per view. There’s mistletoe above them so Mickie kisses her, freaking Trish out. Trish leaves in a hurry and Mickie is upset.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Kurt Angle vs. Daivari

The time is set at 5:56. Daivari lays down but the referee won’t count the three. He even shoves the referee so the chase is on throughout the crowd. The referee gets back in and that’s a countout in less than a minute and a half.

Post match, the referee runs again to avoid a bad case of dismemberment.

It’s time for a contract signing between Big Show and HHH. Big Show throws his chair away and signs in a hurry. HHH takes off his jacket but won’t sign. Instead he talks about how Show has been talking about him for weeks now. Show wants to screw HHH out of his title shot because Show has had everything handed to him over the years.

HHH worked his way to the top while Show bulldozed his way through everything. The only thing different about Show is that he’s tall. He’s an over inflated basketball player but Show says there’s no backup here. HHH: “I don’t need any backup for you fat boy.” The pen goes into Show’s eye and HHH pulls the sledgehammer out from under the table. Show’s hand is crushed and now HHH signs.

Beat The Clock Challenge: John Cena vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and the time is set at 5:56. A very early FU attempt is countered and Shelton hits a springboard armdrag. Cena still can’t hit the FU so he tries a suplex, only to be reversed into a neckbreaker for two. An elbow drop gets two more but Shelton is back with the crossbody for the same. Shelton grabs a spinebuster for two as the fans are split (it’s almost strange hearing anything other than CENA SUCKS after LET’S GO CENA). The sleeper keeps Cena down with 1:30 left on the clock.

Cena fights up with a weak version of the ProtoBomb and the fisherman’s suplex gets two. The FU is loaded up but Shelton grabs the rope as the time expires. Unlike Masters though, this match continues as they head outside, where the Dragon Whip only hits post. Back in and Shelton pokes him in the eye, only to have Cena pick him up for the FU. The STFU makes Shelton tap in a hurry.

Rating: C. The clock being a focus can take away from some of the individual matches, though it still makes for a good focal point of the entire show. Shelton poking the eye is an interesting twist, as they have been teasing a heel turn for him for a long time now. The match wasn’t bad at all, but it does make me wonder what these two could do in a longer form match.

Post match Kurt Angle and Daivari run in for the beatdown but Cena clears house.

Shelton is on the phone with someone, who isn’t happy with the loss. Whoever it is, whom he loves, will be here next week. Oh dang it’s that.

Matt Striker wants to be GM and thinks Jonathan and Kurtis should write essays about rules and regulations. Vince: “That makes me want to vomit.” He wants violence so next week it’s Angle vs. Cena in a first blood match.

Carlito gives his own version of A Visit From St. Nicholas (Twas The Night Before Christmas) about spitting apples at people.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Carlito vs. Victoria

The time is set at 5:56. Carlito laughs a lot and gives Victoria a spank to start. A slam puts Victoria down but Torrie and the dog offer a distraction so Victoria can hit Carlito in the knee with the magic wand. That’s enough for Carlito, who Rolls the Dice for the pin at 2:36.

Post match, Carlito spits apple at Victoria.

We recap some of the night and run down New Year’s Revolution.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Kane vs. Heart Throbs

The time is set at 2:36. Kane wins with a double chokeslam at 28 seconds. Well that worked.

Vince watches the Montreal Screwjob and is ready for his live comments.

Here’s Vince to show us a clip of Bret saying he stands by how he acted in Montreal. He understands that Vince what he had to do but history speaks for itself. In an informal poll, Vince asks if he was right or if Bret was wrong. See, that was a trick, just like he tricked Bret that night because he needed something done.

Cue Shawn Michaels, with Vince introducing him as his partner in crime that night. Shawn whispers something in Vince’s ear but Vince says he can say it to everyone. Vince says that whatever Shawn has to say to him, he can say to everyone. Shawn talks about how it has been eight years since that night and while Bret is still not over it, shouldn’t Vince let it go already?

Now Vince is a grandfather and the chairman of a multi million dollar company. Vince doesn’t like that and says that it’s not 1997 anymore and Shawn has nowhere else to go. It’s time to swallow his pride and agree with whatever Vince says. He’s tired of listening to everyone stand up to him so from now on, it’s zero tolerance. Vince goes to leave so Shawn takes his jacket off and stares Vince down to end the show. This is going to be a big one isn’t it?

Overall Rating: C+. I really like these Beat the Clock shows as they tie things together so well. The majority of the show was spent on that one idea and it worked out well enough in the end. The other big angles were the Big Show vs. HHH deal, which is at least something fresh, and the beginnings of Vince vs. Shawn which is….well rather terrifying but you can’t win them all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Armageddon 2005 (2020 Redo): The Big Fight Fight

IMG Credit: WWE

Armageddon 2005
Date: December 18, 2005
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re almost done with the year and we’ll wrap it up inside the Cell with Undertaker vs. Randy Orton in the final blowoff. Other than that, it’s the Raw Tag Team Champions vs. the Smackdown Tag Team Champions as Big Show/Kane face Rey Mysterio and Batista. I think you can tell they’re wrapping the year up with that second big match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Undertaker vs. Orton. Fair enough in this case.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Matt Hardy

JBL’s leg is fine after being on crutches Friday. Before Matt comes out, JBL talks about how the smallest state has the biggest star tonight. Matt always talks about how he will not die, even though he lost his girlfriend and got fired. The shirt should say “I wish I was dead.” Matt’s intro cuts JBL off and the fight is on in a hurry. JBL slugs away and sends him into the ropes, with Matt’s head getting tied between them. Ever the villain, JBL kicks the tied head and then pulls on Matt’s legs.

The referee finally gets Matt loose so JBL drops a bunch of elbows. There’s another kick to the head but Matt fights up and hits a DDT for two. A big running shoulder takes Matt down again and JBL pokes him in the eye for good measure. Matt gets in a shot of his own and hits a top rope moonsault for two. JBL gets a turnbuckle pad off though and Matt gets whipped into the steel, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for the pin.

Rating: D+. This felt like it was added to fill in some time on the show as an interrupted interview isn’t exactly a hot angle to set up a pay per view match. On the one hand it makes sense to boost JBL up so he can be fed to someone else later, but my goodness it’s hard to watch Matt bounce down the ranks like he’s been doing.

We recap Melina failing to get Batista to back out of the Tag Team Title match on Friday. Batista and Rey Mysterio would go on to win the titles.

The Mexicools offer to cancel the match tonight in exchange for some, ahem, favors for Melina. She isn’t interested.

We look at Undertaker massacring Mankind inside the Cell. That one still has so much impact as Foley probably shouldn’t have survived.

MNM vs. Mexicools

Psicosis/Super Crazy for the Mexicools in a match that was supposed to be for the titles until Batista and Rey happened. Mercury works on Psicosis’ arm to start and it’s already off to Nitro, who is armdragged straight down. Psicosis misses his running dropkick in the corner as Cole makes various Melina jokes. MNM gets knocked outside for a dive from Psicosis, followed by Crazy diving over the referee in a cool spot.

Back in and Mercury stomps on Psicosis, followed by Nitro breaking up a sunset flip with a stomp to the face. Nitro’s breakdancing legdrop sets up a front facelock, followed by some straight right hands to the face. Psicosis gets in an enziguri though and the hot tag brings in Crazy to clean house. A tornado DDT gets two on Mercury and, after Melina is shoved off the apron, the moonsault hits Mercury for two with Nitro making the save. Back up and the Snapshot is good for the fast pin on Crazy.

Rating: C+. The Mexicools are a good lucha team and could have some nice high flying matches like this one. It’s a good idea to have MNM beat a high energy team like that before they get their rematch for the titles. If nothing else, it’s nice to act like there is an actual division rather than two teams fighting over the titles for a change.

Sharmell doesn’t like Booker being asked a question and says tonight, Booker is sweeping Chris Benoit. Interviewer Krystal can ride the broom home if she can’t find a car.

We recap the best of seven series, with Booker cheating to go up 3-0.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Booker is up 3-0 so it’s a title match for him. The early lockup doesn’t go anywhere but Booker stalls on the floor anyway. Back in and Booker drives him into the corner for a clean break so Benoit chops him to the floor. Back in again and Benoit takes him to the mat without much trouble but Booker actually grabs a hammerlock to take over. A quick Crossface attempt sends Booker outside again for another breather.

Booker gets back in so Benoit starts in on the leg but Booker is up again in a hurry. A back elbow to the face drops Benoit again and a hard suplex gives Booker two. Benoit is right back up with a snap German suplex for two, only to have Booker knee him to the floor. They chop it out until Benoit gets posted to cut him off again. The abdominal stretch goes on back inside but Benoit hiptosses his way to freedom.

A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown but it’s Benoit up first with the rolling German suplexes, plus Three Amigos for a bonus. Sharmell uses the broom to break up the Swan Dive though and Booker hits the missile dropkick for two. Sharmell offers another distraction and gets in a low blow so Booker’s ax kick can connect for two more.

The Crossface sends Booker to the ropes so Benoit rolls more German suplexes. Now it’s the Swan Dive for two but the referee gets bumped. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter to make Booker tap. That’s released so Benoit can check the referee, meaning Booker can try the Book End, which is reversed into a DDT. Now the Crossface can make Booker tap to make it 3-1.

Rating: B. These two can do this without missing a beat every single time and that was the case again here. Benoit had to fight to survive here and that will likely be the case again going forward. That being said, it’s getting a little more difficult to care about seeing a fourth match and the next three (more than likely) are going to have even less interest. Then again, the quality is still good so what do I know?

Undertaker chokeslammed Rikishi off the Cell. They do know we saw these clips on Smackdown right?

Here are Teddy Long and Palmer Cannon to thank the fans for a great 2005. They have a treat for the fans: Santa Claus and his elf, who may very well be Vito and Nunzio. They aren’t your traditional Santa and elf though as they’re tired of giving and want their own presents. Maybe a Tag Team Title shot, or a Cruiserweight Title shot! Cannon has a gift for them, so here’s the Boogeyman to sing a Christmas carol about how he’s coming to get you. Pain ensues and worms are consumed in a hurry as Vito has some issues controlling his inner functions, meaning the suit is probably ruined.

Video on Undertaker vs. Randy Orton to set up the Cell match. It feels like they’re filling in a lot of time here, though this might be to clear the ring.

Bobby Lashley vs. William Regal/Paul Burchill

Burchill starts for the team and actually takes Lashley down for some knees and elbows to the back. Regal comes in for more of the same, followed by Burchill’s knee to the back for two. Lashley drives Regal into the corner without much trouble and then snaps off a suplex to send Regal into the corner. The powerslam plants Regal though and a Dominator finishes Burchill without much trouble.

Rating: D+. Another match that could have been on Smackdown, but do we really need Lashley in a handicap match beating two low level guys? We’ve seen something like this for months now and Lashley was already in the main event of a major pay per view. It’s kind of a step backwards, but if this is the only rehab he needs, he should be fine.

And now, we go to the Friendly Tap, owned by former WWE referee Tim White. He doesn’t seem happy here and keeps drinking, even as we see him refereeing HHH vs. Chris Jericho inside the Cell in 2002. White injured his shoulder in the match and he says it ruined his life. He took it out on his wife and his family doesn’t talk to him anymore. White doesn’t have anything to live for anymore, so Josh Matthews wishes him a White Christmas. Josh: “Get it? Because your name is White!” In response, White whips out a shotgun, steps off camera, and fires.

This would lead to one of the most tasteless and, given what would happen in the company about a year and a half later, horrible series of segments ever with Lunchtime Suicides, where White would attempt to kill himself in a variety of ways for the next several weeks. That would be one of those things that WWE would bury in their archives while fans tried to figure out what the heck they were thinking with the videos.

So a former WWE name just shot himself on live pay per view. Less than fifteen seconds later, it’s time for our next match. Can’t grieve forever I guess.

Cruiserweight Title: Kid Kash vs. Juventud Guerrera

Kash is challenging and they hammer away at each other to start. A running dropkick stops Kash and a headscissors takes him down again. Juvy gets two off a standing hurricanrana and the Fujiwara armbar goes on. A backdrop puts Kash on the floor for a slingshot dive but Kash takes over on the arm. Back in and the armbar has Juvy in trouble so Kash sends him shoulder first into the buckle.

There’s a hammerlock slam for two as Cole talks to Tazz about Hooked on Phonics, because we’re supposed to ignore Tim White shooting himself five minutes ago. Kash’s double jump moonsault hits knees and Juvy kicks him in the face. They both wind up on top with Juvy snapping off a super hurricanrana for a delayed two. The Juvy Driver sets up….actually a flipping legdrop instead of the 450 but it doesn’t connect anyway. Kash hits the Dead Level brainbuster for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This was another match that could have been on any given Smackdown (a trend tonight), though it still comes after a suicide on live television. I know it wound up being a joke but the shock value alone should be enough to pause for a second instead of going straight into another match. That’s not something that you can just drop and it isn’t working here whatsoever. It doesn’t help when you go to the Cruiserweight Title match, which is hardly top level interesting stuff in the first place.

We recap the Raw vs. Smackdown tag team match. It’s fallout from Survivor Series and the Smackdown Special, with Kane and Big Show attacking Rey Mysterio, drawing in Batista to help him out. They’re both Tag Team Champions as well.

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

Non-title and Batista starts with Big Show. Batista gets launched into the corner early on and then Show does it again for a bonus. A waistlock doesn’t work either for Batista so he slugs away and gets a boot up in the corner. The chokeslam attempt is broken up and Show kicks him in the face. Kane comes in and gets suplexed in a hurry, only to come back with the side slam. The top rope clothesline misses though and it’s off to Rey for some sticking and moving.

That just earns him a stare from Kane so Rey hammers away in the corner. Rey kicks him into the 619 position as everything breaks down. Rey gets taken to the floor with Show posting him and then tossing Rey over the top in a heap. Back in and Rey can’t get anywhere with right hands to Kane so he goes with the sitout bulldog instead. The hot tag brings in Batista for a spear and spinebuster to Kane. Batista and Show fight to the floor, leaving Kane to pop up for a chokeslam and the fast pin.

Rating: D+. What in the world was that? This was the second biggest show on the card and it felt like a house show main event where they wanted to get out of town and hit the road as fast as possible. There was nothing to this one and it’s pretty annoying that they changed the Tag Team Titles for the sake of this. I know it doesn’t matter in the short or long term, but this could have been a lot more, even though it was hardly important in the first place.

One more Undertaker Cell clip: destroying Shawn Michaels in 1997.

The Cell is lowered.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Inside the Cell in case you don’t have the best attention span and Bob Orton is here with Randy. Orton runs away to start and tries a headlock, which earns him a hard knockdown. Back in and Undertaker’s own headlock doesn’t last long as Orton escapes and gets two off a dropkick. Some right hands in the corner just annoy Undertaker, who launches Orton into the corner and hammers away. They head outside with Undertaker kicking him in the face to send Orton crawling away in a great visual.

One heck of a chair shot drops Randy so Undertaker rakes Orton’s face across the Cell. That lets Cole compare it to a cheese grater to the head, as usual making me wonder why he knows what that is like. Orton is busted open as Undertaker wraps a chain around his throat, followed by a lawn darting into the Cell. Back up and Orton manages an RKO across the top rope (a variation you don’t get very often) for his first major offense.

The steps bounce off of Undertaker’s head to bust him open and adds another chair shot. Undertaker falls back to the floor but manages a headbutt, followed by a whip into the Cell. Back in and Undertaker goes up top (!), only to miss a top rope elbow. Orton brings in a chair as Undertaker falls outside again, with Bob grabbing him by the hair through the Cell. Bob gets punched and kicked in the face to bust him open as well.

Randy jumps Undertaker from behind and powerslams him into the Cell for two on the floor. Back in and Undertaker’s running clothesline gets two, followed by Old School. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the legdrop gets two and it’s a chokeslam to plant Orton. That’s only good for two though as Orton gets his foot on the rope. Normally I would roll my eyes and ask “In the Cell?” but it’s even dumber when they just had a near fall on the floor, meaning falls count anywhere, except in the ropes.

Orton fights back and puts Undertaker on the table for a top rope splash partially through it for two. The Last Ride out of the corner is countered so Undertaker punches out the referee. The RKO connects for no cover so here’s another referee to come in, with Bob (holding the urn), following him.

Undertaker kicks out at two and sits up, setting up the Last Ride. Bob takes out the second referee and gets sent into the Cell to make the blood even worse. Randy counters the Tombstone into one of his own (Tazz: “I’ve never seen anyone do that!”) and Undertaker can’t sit up. He does on the second time, blocks the RKO, urns and Tombstones Bob, and Tombstones Randy for the pin.

Rating: B+. This got going big near the end as it felt like a violent fight instead of a match that happened to take place in the Cell. That’s what the match needed to be and it worked well as Undertaker can still turn it on. Orton got going rather well too, and even though he was in way over his head, it was a heck of a fight that they needed to blow the feud off once and for all.

Undertaker poses on top of the Cell with the urn to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There are two rather good matches on here but that’s not enough to save the rest of this mess. Of the seven matches on the card, three of them felt like they belonged on a pay per view and one of them was a big disappointment. I need a lot more than this for a two hour and forty minute show and it just didn’t work. Smackdown was in a bad place at the moment and while Booker vs. Benoit and the Cell were good, it’s not enough to warrant a pay per view level price.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – December 12, 2005: The Theme Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2005
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s officially a new era as Eric Bischoff was fired last week. That ends a three and a half year reign from Bischoff, meaning we now need a new boss. Or maybe not at the time as we have the build for the Elimination Chamber to get us through the next week or two. That could make for some good stuff so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of last week’s trial and Eric Bischoff being fired.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going, but first he has to throw away a microphone that doesn’t work. Last week he fired Eric Bischoff and that isn’t changing. Oh and Merry Christmas to Eric and his family. As for a new GM, Vince has some options. Maybe Stephanie McMahon or Shane McMahon, or Theo Epstein or Ted Turner. It might even be one of the fans here! Vince: “Just ribbing. It won’t be one of you.”

Vince has assigned someone to be the interim GM for tonight. He’s a business genius, handsome and one virile SOB. Naturally that’s Vince himself, and tonight it’s the Elimination Chamber qualifying matches. We’ll start with this, and the fans will NOT be censored during his entrance.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title. Flair headlocks him down to start and Angle is already bailing into the corner. With the WOOing out of the way, Angle drives him into the corner and pounds away. Some chops don’t do Flair much good so it’s a German suplex into the ankle lock. A few dives allow Flair to make it to the rope so Angle grapevines it for the four count as we take a break.

Back with Flair fighting out of a chinlock and belly to back suplexing his way to freedom. The Figure Four goes on but it’s pretty close to the rope and doesn’t last long. The leg is fine enough to pop off an overhead belly to belly but Flair chops him to the floor. Angle grabs a chair so the referee gets rid of them, allowing Angle to whip out a gold medal and knock Flair silly for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the end and I’m always appreciative of protecting a champion. Angle beating Flair on his own wouldn’t have been horrible but there’s no need to have the champ lose again so soon after Survivor Series. I could go for more of this, though it would just make me wonder what they could have done in their primes.

Post match Angle goes on a rant about how Raw is going to Afghanistan next week for a Tribute to the Troops. It’s voluntary though and Angle is NOT going because the troops have done nothing for him. MAYBE is they catch Osama Bin Laden, he’ll go over there and sign some autographs.

We cut to Daivari in the back in front of statues of Boston sports legends Larry Bird and Bobby Orr. He whips out some spray paint so he can treat them like Americans treat Angle but here’s angry John Cena to cut them off. Cena goes on a rant about how Angle won’t go honor the troops that keep him safe. Half of the people think Cena sucks too so but that’s because we’re in AMERICA! With no American soldiers there are no American heroes, and you can’t see him, so he spray paints the camera lens.

Edge and Lita mock Flair for being arrested. A fight is teased but goes nowhere.

Shelton Benjamin comes in to see Shawn Michaels and asks him about last week when Shawn wanted an attitude. That’s what Shelton gave him and now Shawn isn’t happy. Tonight, Shelton is qualifying for the Elimination Chamber and he hopes Shawn is there. Shelton hands Shawn a copy of Shawn’s book to show him….I’m not sure actually.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Shelton jumps him at the bell to start and Carlito is stomped to the floor early on. Back in and a quick belly to belly drops Carlito again. Shelton follows him to the floor for some clotheslines but Carlito rams him into the apron. Back in again and the Backstabber drops Shelton, followed by a backbreaker to keep the focus strong.

The Boston crab is broken up in a hurry and Shelton hits a Samoan drop into some clotheslines. A sunset flip connects but Carlito grabs the referee to get a slight delay. Carlito hits him in the back but walks into the exploder….for no cover. Instead Shelton grabs the apple and takes a bite, allowing Carlito to small package him for the pin.

Rating: C-. What does it say that Shelton is moving up in the world by having a reason for him to lose? This just keeps getting worse and worse but for some reason WWE doesn’t see much in Shelton. I’m not a big Carlito guy but in this case, he’s the right choice to put into the match. Granted the match might not be the best idea, though that has never stopped them before.

Trevor Murdoch talks to Vince about being the GM. Vince throws him out for having tobacco and moves on to find Candice Michelle. The word position is mentioned several times and lingerie is revealed. Kurt Angle storms in and Vince is ready to kill him as we go to a break.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Big Show vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn gets thrown into the corner to start and has to chop his way out of a chokeslam attempt. A low bridge puts Show on the floor but he catches the dive and throws Shawn back in. The big elbow misses so Show goes with the bearhug instead. That’s broken up so Shawn chops away, only to have the forearm pulled out of the air.

Some more strikes work for Shawn and he counters the chokeslam into a DDT. The top rope elbow connects and so does the superkick…which only puts Show on one knee. Shawn tries it again but gets chokeslammed for his efforts. Cue HHH with a chair to hit Shawn, meaning Show loses so HHH can laugh.

Rating: C+. Shawn was moving out there and had you believing that this could go either way, which is hard to do in about five and a half minutes. The ending sets up a match at No Year’s Revolution and gave us a few entertaining minutes of action. Not too bad, but Shawn can make something work out of almost any situation.

Kurt demands a title match against Cena tonight but Vince reminds him that this isn’t Eric Bischoff’s Raw anymore. Instead, Vince gives Cena a You Can’t See Me match against Daivari, meaning Cena will be blindfolded. Oh and you can disrespect the troops and Larry Bird, but NEVER interrupt him. Angle and Daivari leave so Vince can admire Candice’s magic wand (minus Candice).

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Chris Masters vs. Viscera

Masters powers him into the corner but Viscera comes out with a slam. An elbow gives Viscera two and he falls on top of Masters for daring to try a slam of his own. The Masterlock doesn’t work as Viscera drives him into the corner, setting up a side slam. A Samoan drop puts him down as well, only to have Masters drop toehold him into the corner. The Masterlock to a kneeling Viscera is good for the submission.

Rating: D+. You know, this wasn’t too bad all things considered. Who would have expected anything from these two? Masters getting the hold on Viscera was kind of impressive and the match wound up being a decent enough power showdown. I still don’t see Masters as anything more than a midcarder, but like Carlito, he’s the right choice at this point.

Smackdown Rebound.

Trish Stratus went to talk to Mickie James but Mickie tells a story about growing up watching wrestling with her grandfather. He took her to Wrestlemania X7 where Trish stood up to Vince McMahon (Mickie: “You were totally sleeping with him!”) and then he died soon after. Now she has a #1 contenders match and might get to be in the ring with Trish! Mickie starts crying and Trish suddenly can’t remember what she came here for. Sounds like a delayed breakup.

Here’s Matt Striker to teach us something. His blackboard says Family Values, which have been forgotten. Like working mothers. What happened to mothers who did work when they weren’t on their back? Striker wants to know where the fathers are, but here in Massachusetts, they’re probably marrying each other.

Striker brings up the gay marriage law in Massachusetts and says “that’s the sort of thing that is ruining our country.” The people here are uneducated and that’s where he comes in. He’ll be your father figure! There’s a line in there that wasn’t good when it aired and has aged even more horribly. That would be “Here’s Matt Striker.”

Chris Nowinski and Dusty Rhodes both apply to be General Manager.

Victoria vs. Mickie James

The winner gets Trish, on commentary, for the title at New Year’s Revolution. Victoria starts fast with the spinning side slam for two but a standing moonsault hits knees. Mickie slugs away to knock her into the corner as Trish sounds nervous about the idea of facing Trish. Victoria comes back with a quickly broken Boston crab so it’s the MickieDT to give Mickie the pin and make Trish a little more anxious.

Rating: D+. Another match that didn’t have the time to go anywhere and that’s fine. You’re only going to get so much out of a short match like this, which is even more frustrating when these two are capable of doing more. The women’s division has been three people for a long time now and that needs to change. I mean it probably won’t, but it should.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: HHH vs. Kane

HHH charges into a clothesline to start and Kane hammers away in the corner. The big choke has HHH in more trouble so he goes to the knee. Kane whips him over the corner for the big crash to the floor though and we take a break. Back with HHH hitting a spinebuster but the sleeper is broken in a hurry.

The powerslam sends HHH down again but HHH rolls outside before the top rope clothesline can launch. Back in and the facebuster connects, only to have Kane kick the referee down by mistake. The distraction lets HHH pull out the sledgehammer but here’s the Big Show. Kane gets back up and it’s a double chokeslam for the slow three.

Rating: C-. This was another storyline match but at least they had some time to make it work out a little better. HHH vs. Big Show is a fine enough match, but it’s a little strange to see a Tag Team Champion in a singles match. Much like the women’s division, it’s not like Kane and Show have much competition though so there aren’t many other options.

John Cena vs. Daivari

Non-title, only Cena is blindfolded and yep that’s a major hometown pop. Daivari claps to get Cena’s attention and Cena misses a charge. A slap to the back of the head annoys Cena again and Daivari even talks some trash. Believe it or not that’s not a good idea as Cena gets in a shot to the face. Cena starts pointing for the YES/NO chants from the crowd but Angle gets in a cheap shot. Cena catches Daivari anyway though and it’s the STFU for the fast tap.

Rating: D. These matches almost never work but the fans helping Cena here and keeping it short made this a lot easier to get through. Angle vs. Cena has been done for weeks now though and I really don’t need to see any more of it, even an offshoot like this. At least the hometown boy wins for once though, which shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a theme show and those can be hit and miss. They did what they needed to do for the Chamber though and that’s a good thing. There were a few other things going on and those feuds are only decent. I’ll give them points for having SOMETHING during the December lull though, as that isn’t often the case. Not a bad show, but it was almost all about one idea and if you didn’t care for it, you weren’t getting much out of this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – December 5, 2005

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 5, 2005
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We’re closing in on the final pay per view of the year and the Raw vs. Smackdown theme seems to be continuing. That’s not the most thrilling idea in the world but it’s not like Armageddon has ever been an important show in the first place. Hopefully the build works out well so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Joey talks about Ric Flair being arrested for road rage last week, which will be addressed on the Cutting Edge. This screams bad impersonation somewhere along the lines.

Here’s Vince McMahon, who drives a garbage truck into the arena. There are two chairs and a podium in the ring so here’s Eric Bischoff to face the music. Bischoff is looking rather upset and talks about what this job means to him. The fans are already singing the Goodbye Song as Vince talks about how he’s fair. Everyone should deserve their day in court so tonight is the trial of Eric Bischoff. Vince calls out Bischoff’s lawyer, the Coach, and Bischoff doesn’t seem impressed. Coach: “My client Eric Bischoff is an a******.”

Bischoff is paid to provide an exciting show and deserves a raise. Now we get to the prosecutor: Mick Foley. Mick says no one has ever done more for Raw than Bischoff, who told the fans about a title change on January 4, 1999, which gave the company a lead in the Monday Night Wars which they never released. Vince says they’re going to WWE Court and the decision will be announced by the end of the night.

Tag Team Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Val Venis/Viscera vs. Tyson Tomko/Snitsky vs. Heart Throbs

Kane and Big Show are defending in a warmup before they face Rey Mysterio and Batista at Armageddon. House is cleaned in a hurry but Viscera manages a running splash on Kane. That earns him a double chokeslam to send him outside, with Show throwing Antonio onto him. Back in and a triple chokeslam to Antonio, Tomko and Venis is good for three pins at once. Total squash, which is impressive against six people.

We go to the court with Judge Vince McMahon, who is flanked by Bailiff Chris Masters. After taking his feet off the table, Mick calls in Stephanie McMahon, complete with music, as his first witness. She and Shane both think Bischoff should be removed from office and we see exhibit A: the kiss from Halloween 2002. Coach: “I object!” Vince: “SHUT UP!”

Mickie James vs. Victoria

Trish Stratus, Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle are all here. Mickie snapmares her down to start for the basement dropkick as Lawler is drooling extra hard this week. Victoria manages to send things outside though and the other women get in some cheap shots. Back in and Victoria stands on her chest before hitting the standing moonsault for two.

Mickie’s arm is sent into the buckle and then the mat, followed by a clothesline to take her down again. Mickie gets a hurricanrana out of the corner to start the comeback and a spinning kick to the face drops Victoria. Torrie gets on the apron and is dragged inside, allowing Candice to distract Mickie. A rollup gives Victoria the pin despite Trish’s best efforts.

Rating: D+. This is one of the matches that makes the future generations of Divas all the more frustrating. They put together a coherent story here with the wrestlers doing the wrestling and the eye candy being there for their most basic purposes. It can be done at an acceptable (ok barely acceptable) level but it just wouldn’t be the case most of the time.

Post match, Mickie looks incensed that Trish couldn’t help her more.

Back in court, Tajiri, through a translator, talks about how he was a star in ECW but was wasted on Raw. Now he wants a pregnant rhinoceros to violate Bischoff, and then that he get fired. Coach, now with matchmaking powers, makes Tajiri vs. HHH. With Tajiri gone, Mick brings in Moolah and Mae Young.

Post break, Mae: “And that’s why Eric Bischoff has no penis.” Foley gives us exhibit B: Mae kissing and Bronco Bustering Bischoff at Bad Blood 2003. Coach blames Mae for being oversexed as Bischoff is about to be sick. With that out of the way, Coach gets to call Chris Masters as his first witness. Masters, with no shirt and after removing his hat…..is instantly accused of perjury because his real name is Chris Mordetzky so he’s disqualified from testifying. Vince: “Bailiff, if you would please remove yourself.” I chuckled a few times in there so they’re off to a good start.

Shawn Michaels and Shelton Benjamin are ready for their main event tag match. We hear some of Shelton’s amateur credentials but Shawn points out his lack of recent success around here. See, Shawn might not have the best reputation, but he’s successful. So does Shelton want to win, or make friends? Shelton seems to get something out of the idea.

Coach has a special witness coming in.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Lance Cade

Chavo slugs away to start but gets sent over the top in a hurry. Cade rams him into the post as the EDDIE chants start up. Back in and Chavo hits a dropkick before slugging away. Cade grabs Chavo and drives him into the corner though and shows him how to give a real beating. A suplex is countered into a DDT though and Chavo hits the frog splash for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a showcase match for Chavo and that’s not a bad thing. Chavo is a fine choice for a midcard hand and putting him into a story here or there isn’t going to hurt anything. I’m a little surprised at how fast Cade and Trevor Murdoch have fallen though. Yeah they won the titles, but you would think they would have done something else before dropping them.

Coach’s witness is Daivari, who says that Bischoff was a fair man who gave him his job back and a chance to make a name for himself. Vince, however, has his headphones in. Vince: “Sorry, I was listening to Ashlee Simpson on my new iPod.” Never mind repeating it because we’ll be having a recess. Mick is happy and busts out the Moon Pies and RC Cola.

It’s time for the debut of the Cutting Edge, with Edge and Lita promising to offend everyone and ask the hard questions. Lita doesn’t mind Edge staring at various parts of her and brings up Edge yelling at Dmitri Young at Survivor Series. As for tonight, Ric Flair isn’t here tonight and Edge thinks it’s out of fear. Edge says Flair is now the mug shot posin, handcuff wearin, road rage commitin convict!

Cue Sgt. Slaughter and Michael Hayes to break this up (Lita: “AKA two legends who now make a living kissing Vince McMahon’s a**! Edge: “Wait, Michael, someone told you I had a bottle of Jack Daniels and an eight ball down here didn’t they?”) with Hayes saying he doesn’t get kids today.

They don’t have any respect for the business the legends like the two of them and Flair build. Hayes respects Flair and everything he’s done around here. He’ll give Flair the benefit of the doubt and asks Edge how many main events he’s been in. How many arenas has he sold out so the people had to be turned away? How many World Titles has he had?

Edge says cut the mic and says Terry Gordy isn’t coming to help him because Gordy is dead. Hayes: “The only reason you have this show is you’re banging Matt Hardy’s ex-girlfriend.” That’s enough for Edge, who slugs Hayes down and low blows Slaughter. Hayes gets back up and fires off in the corner but a briefcase to the head takes him down. We’ve seen this kind of thing before but it was nice having someone different in the role for a change.

HHH vs. Tajiri

Tajiri goes straight to the strikes in the corner early on but HHH clotheslines him from behind to break up the handspring elbow. The second attempt connects but the Tarantula is broken up. HHH suplexes him down and hits the Pedigree for the quick pin.

Simon Dean is the next witness but the Boogeyman pops up instead. He says a lot, breaks the clock, and disappears, sending Vince into confusion and Mick into another Moon Pie.

HHH runs into Big Show in the back and a challenge is teased for later.

Mick calls his next witness in the form of Maria, who wants to be questioned by Mr. Socko. Foley slowly agrees and Maria goes into a rant involving several big words about how Bischoff abused his power and should be fired. That’s it for Maria, and everyone, save for Bischoff, watches as she leaves. Vince says that’s enough and closing arguments will take place in the arena.

Smackdown Rebound.

Kurt Angle/Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin/Shawn Michaels

Daivari is at ringside and not refereeing as per Vince’s orders. Shelton and Carlito start things off with Carlito getting his arm barred. A belly to belly lets Shelton hammer away even more and Carlito is rather upset (possibly about his hair). Angle comes in to take Shelton to the mat by the leg but Angle has to escape the exploder. The Dragon Whip works instead and we take a break.

Back with Shawn charging into Carlito’s elbow in the corner but getting over to the corner for a tag to Shelton anyway. Angle gets knocked off the apron but a Daivari distraction lets Angle knock Shelton down. Back in and Angle unloads in the corner before snapping off the overhead belly to belly.

The fans are behind Shelton, even as Angle German suplexes him into a waistlock. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and the hot tag brings in Shawn. House is cleaned, including the forearm into the nipup and a bunch of clotheslines. There’s the top rope elbow so Shawn tunes up the band, only to have Shelton tag himself in. Shelton misses a top rope clothesline though and Carlito gets the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was a story based match and that’s not a bad thing. The idea here was to show that Shelton needs a lot of work and given how much he’s been losing as of late, a heel turn might not be the worst thing for him. They’re way past the point where he can just bounce back so a big change is all they can really do.

Post match Shawn is incensed but Shelton won’t hear it.

Vince and Stephanie arrive in a limo, because they left….I guess? HHH pops up to say Bischoff should say but Vince thinks it’s just so HHH can manipulate him. He’ll take it under advisement, and then introduces HHH to Stephanie for the awkward staring.

We go into the arena for the closing arguments, with Foley just saying Bischoff is bad at his job. Bischoff says he makes WWE money with ideas like the Elimination Chamber. Maybe they could use it again at the next Raw pay per view for the WWE Championship. Vince knows what it’s like to be hated in this industry so he should be able to sympathize with Bischoff. Just let him keep his job so they can make money. Vince seems to think about it but here’s John Cena to interrupt.

Cena is here to point out everything Bischoff does and how much fun he’s taken away from this show. Like when he censors the SUCK in Kurt Angle’s YOU SUCK. Cena asks the 10,000 witnesses here in the building about Bischoff staying, but they seem to want him gone. The two letters that sum up Bischoff’s career are FU so Vince asks the fans about the Elimination Chamber. They seem pleased, so the match is on. Bischoff won’t be there for it though, because HE’S FIRED. Cena gives Bischoff the FU and Vince throws him in the back of the garbage truck. Vince even drives it out of the arena to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There wasn’t much here other than the Bischoff deal, which is long overdue at this point. Bischoff has done everything possible as the evil boss and it’s time to give us something new. The rest of the show just came and went though with little wrestling of note as we need to fill time before New Year’s Revolution. Hopefully things can pick up in the next few weeks, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – December 2, 2005: The Hurry Up Game

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 2, 2005
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time to start wrapping up the year as we’re on the road to Armageddon and we’re coming off both Survivor Series and the Smackdown Special. The Special helped as it can serve as a launchpad towards the pay per view, since Raw vs. Smackdown was mostly wrapped up on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the special if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton blowing Undertaker up at the Special.

Here are Randy and Bob Orton to brag about what Randy did to Undertaker. Randy makes it clear that he killed the Undertaker, leaving himself as the only true phenom. He deserves something for what he has accomplished: the World Heavyweight Championship. The fans don’t seem to agree so Randy lists his resume and says he doesn’t care what they think. He calls Batista out for the Armageddon title match and promises to win the title. That’s not arrogance, because it’s destiny.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Animal/Heidenreich, Funaki/Scotty 2 Hotty, the Dicks, Paul London/Brian Kendrick, Nunzio/Vito, Mexicools

Only one member has to be eliminated and the winners get a Tag Team Title shot at the pay per view. MNM comes out to watch and Cole is rather pleased with Melina doing the splits on the announcers’ table. Heidenreich glares down at the champs to start and doesn’t realize that Animal is getting attacked by everyone else. That is broken up in a hurry and Nunzio is out.

Animal accidentally eliminates Heidenreich as well though….and there go the lights as we take a break. Back with everything fine and Scotty having been eliminated during the commercial. The Dicks eliminate London, leaving us with the Dicks and the Mexicools. The Mexicools get the crowd behind them in a hurry but it’s a double fireman’s carry faceplant to drop Super Crazy but Psicosis eliminates both of them at once for the win.

Rating: D. Well that happened. The Mexicools vs. MNM sounds…well actually it doesn’t sound terrible. They kept this very short and the lights going out was weird, but it’s nice like it seems to have made much of a difference. Maybe the title match will wind up being good, but this was a very quick and rather nothing setup for a pay per view match.

JBL says nothing would have happened if he had been with Rey Mysterio on Tuesday. Tonight, they’ll take care of Kane and Big Show.

Chris Benoit vs. William Regal

Booker T. and Sharmell are on commentary, which hopefully doesn’t bring the match down. Benoit goes after the arm to start and blocks Regal’s escape attempt. The threat of a Sharpshooter earns Benoit some shots to the face and Regal knocks him outside. A ram into the barricade lets Regal slap on a dragon sleeper back inside, followed by putting Benoit’s head against the post.

Regal kicks said head into said post and Benoit is barely getting up. Benoit shrugs off some shots to the head and sweeps the leg but Regal kicks away a Sharpshooter attempt. Some exploder suplexes and a forearm give Regal two but a bloody Benoit snaps off some German suplexes. The Crossface makes Regal tap in a hurry.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of hard hitting and almost brutal match that you don’t get to see very often on a weekly TV show. These two know how to work this kind of match to near perfection and while they didn’t have time to get that far, what we got was rather enjoyable. Regal might have been busted open as well, just for that little extra touch.

Immediately after the match, Benoit dives onto Booker and makes him tap on the floor with the Crossface.

The Ortons are in the back and a clock goes nuts. Uh oh.

Randy Orton vs. Matt Hardy

Orton shoulders him down to start but Hardy is right back with an armdrag into an armbar. A dropkick and elbow to the face give Orton two each and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and they head to the floor for a quick brawl, followed by Matt hitting the Side Effect for two. The moonsault misses though and the RKO gives Orton the fast pin.

Rating: C. And Matt continues to fall, which might have something to do with the whole mess at the end of Survivor Series. Couple that with Orton heading for another big match with Undertaker and this one wasn’t exactly in doubt. At least they had Hardy get in a bit of offense, but it’s pretty clear that he’s done at the moment.

Post match the gong sounds and Undertaker’s voice says this is the man Randy tried to kill. The Ortons try to leave but an explosion keeps them at ringside. Randy goes through the crowd but he runs into a casket as he tries to go through an exit. Back in and ring, the voice talks about how he does the killing so Randy bails through the crowd again. Another explosion scares him back to ringside again so the voice says Orton looks lost. Undertaker knows where he’s going: straight to h***…..in the Cell. So there’s your blowoff match.

Post break Randy panics to Teddy Long, who makes the mat at Armageddon. Teddy isn’t messing with Undertaker so he’s not changing the match.

New interview Kristal Marshall talks to Simon Dean, who isn’t scared of the debuting Boogeyman. Dean isn’t worried because he has the Simon System, featuring a new item. He pulls off a cover and it’s….the Boogeyman’s head, singing Oh My Darling Clementine. Plus eating worms of course.

Raw Rebound.

Simon Dean vs. Boogeyman

And there’s no Simon, so here’s security to drag him to the ring. The arena has a good bit of smoke in it after Boogeyman’s entrance and Dean begs off immediately. Boogeyman busts out the worms and throws them at Simon, setting up a reverse World’s Strongest Slam for the fast pin. Well he certainly debuted, and that’s about as good as it’s going to get here.

Video on the European tour.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

Bobby Lashley vs. Sylvan

Sylvan says people are here to see him and jumps Lashley before the bell. This goes as well as you would expect as Lashley throws him around and hits the delayed vertical suplex. A few shots to the face put Lashley down and there’s a middle rope dropkick for one. Sylvan strikes away and drops some elbows to the back but Lashley pops up. More tossing ensues and it’s the Dominator to finish Sylvan.

Rating: D+. Who in the world decided to give Sylvan this much offense against Lashley? The match wasn’t quite the dominance you would have expected and that took me out of things a bit. The appeal of Lashley is to have him run people over and that’s not what we got here. He didn’t do well at Survivor Series and this didn’t make it any better, so maybe things are slowing down for him.

Big Show/Kane vs. Rey Mysterio/John Bradshaw Layfield

Non-title and Rey is injured coming in. JBL goes after Kane to start and is quickly knocked straight into the corner for his efforts. The threat of an early Clothesline From JBL sends Kane outside so Big Show gets in a right hand. Rey hits the seated senton to Kane from the apron and it’s Big Show coming in. JBL takes out the knee and Rey adds a dropkick, setting up JBL’s top rope shoulder for a good looking knockdown.

Kane gets JBL in the corner though and now the beating is on. A running shoulder gets JBL a breather so Rey tags himself in, only to get knocked down in a hurry. The referee tries to break up a fight with JBL and Kane, meaning it’s a thumb to JBL’s eye. That’s enough for him so he walks out as we take a break.

Back with Show kicking Rey in the bad ribs as the BATISTA chants are going strong. Show stands on the ribs but Rey uses the speed to make Show knock Kane down by mistake. Rey goes after Show’s leg and kicks them both into the ropes, setting up back to back 619s. The springboard is just a bad idea though and Show pulls him out of the air for the chokeslam and the pin.

Rating: C-. JBL was actually showing some fire at the start here and that made things a little better. The lack of Batista was surprising but you can almost pencil him in for the post match save. Rey was trying here and while it did go a little far with how much he could do to Show and Kane, it didn’t go into the ridiculous areas and Show pinned him clean with the chokeslam. Not the best overall, but it could have been a lot worse.

Post match the beatdown is on but Batista finally comes out for the save. Some chair shots leave the Raw guys knocked out to end the show. That sounds like a pay per view tag match to me.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show where the wrestling wasn’t what mattered most, but it did bring things down a good bit. There was some good stuff here with setting up Armageddon and that’s what matters most here. They don’t have much time to get ready for the pay per view so hitting the ground running was the best thing that they could do. Not a great wrestling show, but it set things in motion, as it needed to do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown Special: It Actually Works

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown Special
Date: November 29, 2005
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a bonus show for the sake of….I’m really not sure actually but it’s airing live and it’s only an hour long. We have two matches this time around with Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show and Match #2 in the Best of Seven series for the US Title. If either of those is good then the show will probably be a success. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Match #2 in the Best of Seven series with Booker, with Sharmell, up 1-0. Benoit starts fast and snaps off a suplex, followed by a belly to back for two. Booker gets in a hot shot for a breather but Benoit is right back with a northern lights suplex for two more. A backdrop puts Booker on the floor but the dive through the ropes leaves Benoit crashing.

Back from a break with Cole saying this is World Wrestling Entertainment and recapping the story, plus Tazz saying who is in which color gear. Why is that such a rare thing to say? Someone flipping through the channels and seeing this as they come back from a break is told in about ten seconds what is going on and who is who. Do that more often. Benoit fights out of a bow and arrow but gets spinwheel kicked and side slammed for two. Some suplexes (with Tazz explaining the differences) take Booker down and a German suplex cuts off the comeback.

Sharmell offers a distraction but Benoit hits the Swan Dive for a delayed two anyway. They fight to the apron with Benoit being knocked into the barricade for….two, though there might have been a botch as the referee just stopped counting. To Nick Patrick’s credit though, he signaled that Benoit’s shoulder was up so if it was a botch (and it might not have been), Patrick made a great save there. Another German suplex drops Booker but he’s right back with the ax kick for the pin and the 2-0 lead.

Rating: C+. They were hitting each other hard here though you could tell something was off at the end. At least they didn’t get lost or anything though and just had Booker hit his finisher for the fast win. There was nothing here that was bad and they are going to be fine doing (likely) five more matches.

Video on Eddie Guerrero.

Earlier today, Rey prayed for Eddie to be his guardian angel and dedicated his match to him.

Video on Rey Mysterio, explaining the idea of lucha libre as free form wrestling.

Video on Big Show, who is big and strong, including swinging Mysterio, then tied to a backboard, against the post.

Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey rides out in the low rider to Eddie’s music (walking past a CM Punk sign on the way to the ring) and it’s time to stick and move to start. Show throws him to the floor early on but Rey slips back in and hits a baseball slide. Back from a break with Show throwing him around and hitting a big forearm to the spine. The choking/face shoving is on as Rey shouts for Eddie. There’s an elbow drop, which Tazz says is like a redwood tree falling on a bicycle. So Rey Mysterio is a bicycle. The things you learn on live television.

Show throws him outside and then back in, allowing Rey to hit a dropkick through the ropes. That just annoys Show, who powerbombs him onto the hood of the low rider. Back from a break with Rey biting at the face but Show shrugs him off, meaning it’s a ref bump. Show grabs a chair but Rey takes it away and unloads on him. More shots put Show down and the frog splash connects, drawing out Kane. There’s the double chokeslam so here’s Undertaker to scare Kane off. We’ll say the match is thrown out somewhere in here.

Rating: C-. This is the kind of pairing where there is only so much that they can do and that limit was reached. I did like that they went with the gimmick ending rather than the fluke or even clean finish as there was no need to have either of them take a fall here. Not bad, but you can’t get much out of Rey sticking and moving and then getting beaten up for most of the match.

Post match, Show gets taken down and Kane runs back in to get chokeslammed. A big boot puts Show on the floor but here’s Randy Orton with an RKO (with Undertaker taking it like a swinging neckbreaker). Randy and his dad Bob look at the low rider as Undertaker sits up. With nothing else working, Randy grabs a tire iron from the trunk and knocks Undertaker silly. Another shot to the head with the tire iron knocks Undertaker cold over the back seat so Randy jumps in the car and backs it through the set. Randy gets out and a bunch of explosions go off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It was a quick sit and I liked enough of it so call it a nice bonus. I liked that they treated it like something for new fans, as so much of the regular shows are only for new viewers. That helped a lot here and is something I could go for more often. It’s nothing you need to see, but you can almost guarantee another Undertaker vs. Orton match for Armageddon. Your mileage may vary there, just as it probably will here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6