Smackdown
Date: October 4, 2016
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

It’s the go home show for No Mercy because this is the new WWE where there’s a go home show every two weeks. Tonight is going to focus on Dean Ambrose vs. John Cena vs. AJ Styles for Styles’ Smackdown World Title in Sunday’s triple threat. Other than that we’re likely getting more in the Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt feud. Let’s get to it.

The opening video promises Styles, Cena and Ambrose face to face to face tonight.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

They take turns hitting each other in the face to start until Bray gets Kane down for a chinlock. A side slam and running DDT have Bray in trouble but the chokeslam is countered into a Rock Bottom. Bray does the spider walk but an upside down Randy Orton appears on the screen. This takes WAY longer than it should and the distraction lets Kane get up. Bray blocks a chokeslam but takes the countout loss at 4:15.

Rating: D. So let me get this straight: we’re five days away from Wyatt’s big match against Orton and Bray is taking a countout loss to Kane instead of, you know, squashing him like a bug? It’s not a good sign when the best thing you can say about a match is Kane didn’t win off the chokeslam.

Baron Corbin doesn’t know why Jack Swagger was signed but if Jack wants to fight, Baron will drop him where he stands. Swagger comes up and a match is set up.

Post break, Bray is looking for Orton.

Alexa Bliss vs. Nikki Bella

Carmella is on commentary as Nikki gets two off a facebuster that didn’t come close to making contact. Nikki takes it outside and throws Bliss into Carmella, drawing her into the ring for the DQ at 1:52.

Post match here’s Becky Lynch for the save and we might as well keep the referee out here for the obvious tag match.

Becky Lynch/Nikki Bella vs. Carmella/Alexa Bliss

Joined in progress with Alexa hammering on Nikki before it’s off to Carmella for some shots to the face of her own. Carmella misses a Bronco Buster though and the hot tag brings in Becky. Everything breaks down with Nikki spearing Carmella to the floor, leaving Alexa to hit Twisted Bliss for the pin on Becky at 3:14.

Rating: C. Basic, simple ideas to set up basic, simple matches. That’s the kind of wrestling that’s always going to work and you can tell they’re putting WAY more thought into these things than the messes over on Raw. Becky getting pinned in a tag match is fine and gives Alexa credibility heading into Sunday. Nikki and Carmella’s feud is advanced at the same time and everything is accomplished. When this stuff works, it works to near perfection.

Bray goes to look for Orton again and finds the rocking chair. Orton jumps him from behind and shuts a metal door, locking Bray in what looks like a small storage unit. Of course there’s a camera inside with Bray freaking out over being locked inside.

Daniel Bryan brings out some breast cancer survivors for the Susan G. Komen presentation ala Enzo and Big Cass on Raw.

Vaudevillains vs. Hype Bros

There’s still something weird about JBL being a Mojo Rawley fan. Mojo slams Gotch to start and it’s Hammer Time! Cue Ascension, now with face paint, to the stage for a distraction but Ryder dropkicks English off the apron anyway. Ryder gets kneed in the back but Gotch’s chinlock goes as far as a chinlock is going to take him. The hot tag brings in Mojo a few seconds later and a Hype Ryder ends English at 3:48.

Rating: C-. Not much to the match but just like the women’s division and everything else around here: keep it simple but do it well. I know I harp on that a lot but Smackdown is so refreshing when you have so many wrestling shows all over the place that can’t get the most basic storylines right.

The Ascension point at the Hype Bros.

It’s time for MizTV with a special Dolphumentary. Ziggler comes out and the documentary is of course a career lowlight reel with stuff like Ziggler as Kerwin White’s caddy and the Spirit Squad and various out of context statements from wrestlers. This Sunday, it’s the feature film the Success of a Failure. Ziggler doesn’t take kindly to this and says that he loves it when a Make-A-Wish kid says he’s their hero but Ziggler gets to tell them that they’re his hero. That’s the kind of thing that makes Ziggler know he can’t walk away.

Miz laughs this off and brings out two members of the Spirit Squad (Kenny and Mikey). We get a cheer with Miz saying Ziggler can join them at their $5 autograph signing. Ziggler goes after Miz but gets jumped from behind. Dolph easily fights them off and Miz bails from the threat of a superkick. This feud is really, really growing on me despite it being Dolph Ziggler. They’re nailing every single thing about this and I want to see the match, albeit with Miz winning to finally get rid of Ziggler.

Bray is still in the storage unit and says he finally sees it.

Hispanic Heritage Month video on Roberto Clemente.

Jey Uso vs. Jason Jordan

Jey snaps Jordan’s neck across the ropes to start and hammers away but a very quick rollup puts Uso away at 1:18.

The Usos send Gable into the steps and chop block Jordan for a bonus. Rhyno and Heath Slater come out to save Jordan’s knee.

Bray is now singing but stops to say he missed Abigail. She’s going to take him home.

Back from a break and Orton opens the door, only to find an empty chair. There wasn’t a lock on the door so this isn’t exactly supernatural.

Clip of John Cena on Talking Smack last week, talking about how the Draft is a fresh opportunity for him as well. Cena’s big line: “Dean Ambrose doesn’t like John Cena. John Cena doesn’t care about Dean Ambrose.”

Curt Hawkins vignette. He’s debuting at No Mercy.

Jack Swagger vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin shoulder blocks him down to start and rains down right hands to the head, sending us to an early break. Back with Swagger favoring his knee and getting caught in a chinlock. Jack fights up and elbows Corbin in the face, followed by the Patriot Lock. Corbin dives for the ropes over and over, which the referee calls a tap out at 8:25. Replays show that Corbin was reaching for the ropes as his hand is up and it’s his wrist hitting the mat when he can’t reach the ropes.

Rating: C-. I’m not interested in the match but that’s a clever way to keep the feud going as it was close enough that you could say it was a tap and call it a mistake. It’s much better than having one guy win clean and then do a bunch of rematches just because. I don’t really need to see them fight again but it’s nice to have a feud continue logically instead of having it forced.

Here’s AJ for the big closing segment. He talks about how he’ll prove himself to be the best in the world on Sunday but Ambrose comes out to cut him off. Dean is serious this week and says he had the title won last week until Cena had to get involved. Cue Cena but AJ cuts him off and begs Cena to shut up for once in his life. AJ is incensed at the thought of Cena comparing himself to Flair (here we go) and begs Cena to give one of his rah-rah speeches.

Cena is ready to do just that when Ambrose cuts him off again, saying Cena is a part timer who is dying to get out of here on a private jet and go be with his people in New York. Dean is the man who works harder around here and has wrestled more matches than anyone else in the company the last two years because he never takes days off. He’ll be over here in the corner being Dean Ambrose while Cena gets to play John Cena on TV.

That’s enough for Cena and the fight is on with Cena hitting an AA on Ambrose and throwing Styles outside. John holds up the title but AJ runs in and escapes an AA attempt. The Phenomenal Forearm drops Cena but Dean gives AJ Dirty Deeds onto the ramp and holds up the title to end the show. REALLY good stuff here with Dean standing up to Cena in a way no one has done since Rock. That’s the kind of thing that makes him feel like a main event star, not wearing funny hats.

Overall Rating: B. The wrestling wasn’t great here but that’s not the point most of the time. The point here is a very well done structure as you move from story to start for most of the show with only Bray and Orton running throughout and never getting too much time at once. You can tell someone has actually put effort into setting this up and it makes the show fly by instead of making me wonder how we can only be an hour into it. No Mercy may not be the best show ever but it’s been built up as well as it can be and that’s what this show needed to do.

Results

Kane b. Bray Wyatt via countout

Nikki Bella b. Alexa Bliss via DQ when Carmella interfered

Alexa Bliss/Carmella b. Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch – Twisted Bliss to Lynch

Hype Bros b. Vaudevillains – Hype Ryder to English

Jason Jordan b. Jey Uso – Rollup

Jack Swagger b. Baron Corbin – Patriot Lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Backlash 2016
Date: September 11, 2016
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga

It’s the first single branded pay per view and I’m really not sure what they’re going to do to fill in the whole show. There are currently six scheduled matches but word on the street is that one of them might not be taking place as advertised due to an injury. They could always add some stuff in but at the moment, this isn’t looking like a three hour show. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin

This was made on the pre-show when Corbin interrupted Crews’ chat with Daniel Bryan. They lock up to start with Corbin shoving him away, only to have Crews come back with a dropkick. A right hand stops a springboard and knocks Crews to the floor (signature spot) as we take a break. Back with Crews hitting an enziguri from the apron and avoiding a charge but Corbin slides under the ropes and back inside for a clothesline to the back of the head.

Corbin talks a little trash and takes Apollo’s head off with another clothesline. A running knee (because of course) puts Corbin down and the second jumping enziguri gets two. An Angle Slam of all things gets two more on Baron but he hits the Deep Six for the same. They actually head outside with Corbin going into the steps for a seven count. Back in and Crews charges into a knee (it’s always the knee) to set up End of Days for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C+. This was actually a lot better than I was expecting with some ice chemistry from the pair. Corbin winning is fine as he needs something to do but Crews needs to start winning people people stop caring about him. Above all else though: the pre-show had ONE match that ran about ten minutes and now we’re almost ready to go with the regular show. Yes I said ONE MATCH instead of three with half an hour between each one. I really don’t think people are going to miss the other two and the fans might even be a bit less burned out later on. Imagine that.

We open with a text crawl about September 11 and what it means for our freedom. Nothing wrong with this whatsoever and you knew it was coming.

Opening video of Shane McMahon talking about how this is the new vision and a new era, including new champions being crowned for the first time.

Here are Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan to open things up. Shane brags about how awesome the fans and everyone behind the scenes have been. The internet has been blowing up and the red team is getting a run of its money. They talk about the new titles and Shane introduces the Women’s Title match.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Naomi vs. Nikki Bella vs. Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya

The title is vacant coming in and this is under elimination rules. Otunga calls Naomi his dark horse with the glow and I’m not daring to touch that one. Nikki is in red, white and blue to hammer home the fact that she’s our fearless hero. Bliss on the other hand is Harley Quinn for a VERY nice look. There are no tags so it’s a wild brawl to start with Nikki being clotheslined to the floor (and being fearless enough to put her foot on the bottom rope to shove herself off before anyone was touching her), leaving Becky to work on Naomi’s arm.

We get the dancing kicks (JBL: “Be glad she only has two feet and not eight.” Uh, right. It’s off to the showdown between Nikki and Carmella and WOW it’s even less interesting than I thought it would be. Bliss makes the save and hits her moonsault knees for two on Naomi. Becky comes back in and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers, capped off by Carmella brawling with Nikki.

The Alabama Slam gets two on Carmella and Natalya comes back in for a Tower of Doom (a name they thankfully don’t use tonight). Alexa comes back in with a sunset flip out of the corner for two before Carmella sends everyone outside, leaving Naomi to dive onto all of them. Back in and Natalya loads up a powerbomb out of the corner with Naomi adding a Blockbuster to get rid of Bliss at 9:39.

Nikki hits her big forearm on Naomi but Natalya wants the elimination instead and the Sharpshooter makes Naomi tap at 10:54. Nikki’s TKO gets rid of Natalya at 11:57 but Carmella rolls Nikki up for the elimination at 12:04. We’re down to Carmella vs. Becky with Lynch getting in her usual stuff until she runs into a superkick. Not that it matters as Becky grabs the Disarm-Her for the tap out and the title at 14:35.

Rating: C+. This was fun stuff and Becky winning is a nice surprise (though you can imagine Nikki getting the title by the Rumble at the latest). Above all else though, it didn’t feel like they were stretching out to fill in time. Carmella had a good performance here but she and Alexa are still a long way away from the top level. Naomi continues to be worthless save for one spot a match.

Becky gets promo time post match and we get the WAY overused “you deserve it” chant.

Miz yells at a kid from Nickelodeon, who offers Miz a spot on his show. “Unless you can get John Cena instead.”

Bray Wyatt attacks Randy Orton and injures his ankle to cover up for Orton not being medically cleared to compete. They really, really should have done this on TV instead of a bait and switch like this. They were even promoting it on the pre-show and it’s a very cheap move.

Usos vs. Hype Bros

The winners face Heath Slater/Rhyno later in the night to replace the injured American Alpha. The Usos have new gear and Jimmy wrestles in a shirt (thank goodness). Mojo throws Jey around to start but it’s quickly off to Zack for a facebuster on Jimmy. Ryder knocks both twins to the floor and Mojo runs all the way around the ring to run them over in a cool power display.

Back in and the Usos start with the double teaming to send Ryder right back to the floor. The running Umaga attack sets up a chinlock, followed by another chinlock to keep things fresh. Zack sends them outside again and the double tag brings in Mojo as the crowd isn’t all that thrilled. Something like an F5 gets two on Jey and Ryder adds a middle rope hurricanrana for two. Everything breaks down and the Usos go after Ryder’s leg, setting up a Tequila Sunrise to make Ryder tap at 10:11.

Rating: C-. Now this felt like they were dragging it out. The knee stuff from the Usos made sense and there was next to no doubt that the Usos were going over here as you don’t have Hype Bros vs. Slater/Rhyno twice in a week. It’s not a bad match but this was clearly filler and they weren’t making any secret about it.

Slater and Rhyno are ready but Heath has an upset stomach due to some artificial crab dip. Rhyno: “Heath, we’re still live.” Heath: “Uh…..YOU’VE BEEN SWERVED!”

Connor’s Cure video.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. the Miz for the Intercontinental Title. Daniel Bryan had accused Miz of being soft but since Bryan can’t wrestle, Miz got to feud with Ziggler instead. Dolph had been wanting to win the big one and the Intercontinental Title seems to suffice.

We cut to Miz in the back where he tells Bryan he wants to renegotiate his contract. Bryan says nothing and Miz laughs at the idea of Bryan calling him a coward. Miz: “I want you to watch me do what you can’t anymore.”

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is defending and is quickly sent outside to start. Back in and Ziggler tries some amateur stuff until Miz punches him in the face to take over. We get some choking on the ropes until Miz counters a dropkick and catapults Ziggler out to the floor. Miz grabs a chinlock as they’re taking their time for obvious reasons.

It’s off to a surfboard before Miz does the YES pose. Oh man they’re teasing the heck out of this but I’m not sure how they’re going to pay it off. Miz’s running corner clothesline looks to set up the top rope ax handle but Ziggler rolls him up for two instead. Ziggler makes his comeback with the usual and sends Miz shoulder first into the post.

Miz comes right back with a slingshot sitout powerbomb (sweet) before hitting a kind of Stunner on the leg. A quick Fameasser gets two for Dolph and he grabs the sleeper to slow Miz down. They trade DDT’s before Miz gets the Figure Four for a good while before Ziggler gets the rope.

This is getting a lot of time so far and it’s only kind of feeling like they’re stretching it out. Miz up but charges into a superkick for two with the champ getting his foot on the rope. Miz bails to the floor and has to be thrown back in, allowing Maryse to spray Ziggler in the eyes with something. The Skull Crushing Finale is enough for the retaining pin at 18:11.

Rating: B. I liked this more than I was expecting but that’s not really surprising with the roll Miz is on at this point. I’m sure this is going to set up a rematch because we just can’t get rid of Ziggler because HE’S IMPORTANT AND GETS SO CLOSE TO WINNING THE BIG ONE WHICH GETS SMALLER AND SMALLER EVERY SINGLE TIME. Miz vs. Bryan would be very interesting but I’d be really surprised if they actually went with that as Bryan’s one last match.

The pre-show panel has a chat.

Here’s Bray with no video or introduction as Orton is injured. The injury is announced and we get a ten count but we have a replacement match and it’s no holds barred.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

I had the name written before the music hit because of course it’s Kane. They’re quickly on the floor with Kane knocking the bell out of Bray’s hands. Back in and Bray’s cross body has Kane in trouble, followed by a chair to the knee to make it even worse. Another chair shot gets two on Kane until he grabs a running DDT. The side slam looks to set up a chokeslam but Bray takes it outside again.

Bray does Orton’s pose and drops the running backsplash through a table for the big spot. The fans seem very pleased here after booing the heck out of the match announcement. Back in and Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam for two. Bray gets the same off a Rock Bottom onto a chair, only to have Orton come out for an RKO. Kane adds a chokeslam for the pin at 10:58.

Rating: C. GAH! I’m so freaking sick of Bray losing time after time after time after time for the sake of setting up what’s likely to be another loss because Bray is bulletproof or whatever. He’s been on the main roster for three years and I can’t remember the last big win he had. The fans are DYING to cheer for him but no, instead let’s have him job to freaking KANE to make us want to see him fight Orton later.

Someone explain why that booking is supposed to make sense. Please. I’d LOVE to hear how that makes sense. It’s Orton fighting a loser who couldn’t even get on the 18 hour Summerslam but now I want to see Bray vs. Orton on pay per view. Just turn him face already like you were planning to do and FREAKING DID AT ONE POINT instead of having him do the same stuff for years. The match was fine for a house show style match but that ending drove me nuts.

AJ Styles tells some nameless jobbers that they’re destined for failure.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rhyno/Heath Slater

For the inaugural titles. Slater goes after Jey to start before it’s off to Rhyno for some power slots. Heath comes back in but is taken outside for a double suplex into the post (cool). Back in and Slater is slowly beaten down as the back work continues. The fans want Rhyno but get a chinlock from Jey instead.

Slater fights up and we get the double cross body spot to set up the hot tag. Rhyno comes in (to a very nice reaction) but misses the Gore. Heath tags himself back in and hits a neckbreaker on both twins, followed by a DDT for two on Jimmy. The superkick nails Heath but Rhyno hits the Gore to give Slater the pin at 9:57.

Rating: C. I smiled. They won’t hold the titles long and that’s the best idea but this was absolutely fine and the right move at the time. American Alpha can get the belts later but this wraps up Heath Needs A Job and gives the fans a fun moment. Above all else: WWE had something with Slater and they actually did something with it. They ignore that kind of thing WAY too often and it’s such a waste of someone getting over. This is as high as Slater needs to go and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Slater and Rhyno are happy with the win and this sums up everything: “Yo Beulah! WE’RE GETTING A DOUBLE WIDE BABY!!!”

Miz vs. Ziggler chicken deal.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose which doesn’t have much of a story. Styles beat John Cena last month at Summerslam and has a title shot as a result. Dean doesn’t seem to be taking Styles seriously though.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

Dean is defending. Feeling out process to start with Dean being driven into the ropes. AJ: “I OWN YOU!” A forearm puts a seated Dean down again but he comes back with his awkward slugging, followed by a backdrop to send AJ outside. The suicide dive is broken up though and AJ starts in on the neck before going with the drop down into the dropkick.

Dean comes up holding his nose but makes a comeback anyway by whipping AJ into the corner. That goes nowhere good either as Dean misses a charge into the post. They’re going with the idea that Dean is doing his normal insane style but AJ knows exactly what he’s going to do and is one step ahead. Dean is back up and tries a belly to back superplex but flips AJ over for a big crash to put both guys down.

AJ dives into a spinning Rock Bottom backbreaker of all things for two (makes sense as Dean used something new) and the standing elbow to the floor has AJ in even more trouble. They head inside again with Dean getting suplexed into the corner (becoming a common move lately). Now it’s AJ going after the leg with a standing Robinsdale Crunch out of the corner and the Calf Crusher is on.

Dean makes the ropes so AJ puts the hold on again in the middle of the ring. In a clever counter, Dean grabs the head and slams AJ’s head into the mat over and over. Dean fights up and goes outside for a clothesline, followed by a running bulldog for two back inside. AJ’s fireman’s carry into a backbreaker gets two, followed by a torture rack into a powerbomb for the same.

The springboard 450 gets the same and AJ is stunned. Dean comes back again and hits his running dropkick to knock AJ outside. That means it’s finally table time but instead Dean sends him into the crowd for a suicide dive. It’s not a countout though as they head back inside with a Pele sending Dean into the ropes for the rebound lariat. The ref is bumped though (of course) and a low blow sets up the Styles Clash to give us a new champion at 24:59.

Rating: B+. The ending was the only possible option and that’s the best thing they’ve done all night. They did a great job here with the idea of Dean not being able to keep up with AJ who was just on his game tonight. Dean never really felt like a real World Champion to me so having him lose to the best thing on Smackdown was the right call. Really good match here and the best thing on the show, which had to be expected.

AJ celebrates and we’re out at 10:38.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a really weird one to grade as the ultra low expectations did it a lot of favors. Unfortunately it’s a show that didn’t need to exist and needed a lot of things dragged out to make it work as well as it did. Smackdown is dying for some midcard talent as they had one of the shortest pay per views in a long time and that only worked with a team working twice and the opening match not starting until over fifteen minutes into the show. I liked this as well as I could have given the circumstances but they really need to fix some big problems.

Results

Becky Lynch b. Carmella, Nikki Bella, Natalya, Alexa Bliss and Naomi – Disarm-Her to Carmella

Usos b. Hype Bros – Tequila Sunrise to Ryder

The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Skull Crushing Finale

Kane b. Bray Wyatt – Chokeslam

Rhyno/Heath Slater b. Usos – Gore to Jimmy

AJ Styles b. Dean Ambrose – Styles Clash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 8, 2002
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Hopefully things pick up a little bit after last week’s mess of a debut for the solo red show. Backlash is in thirteen days and it’s really not clear what we should be expecting from either brand, save for some of the top matches. Steve Austin is officially on Raw though and you know he’s going to do something big. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince deciding that Hulk Hogan will be #1 contender instead of HHH. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that they didn’t change their minds so quickly but that doesn’t make for an interesting storyline.

Opening sequence.

Undertaker comes out to start and wants to know what’s going on around here. You and me both big man. Last week he came out here and challenged HHH and the champ accepted. Now he’s out of the match for the sake of HHH vs. Hulk Hogan and that’s just unacceptable. This show isn’t going anywhere until someone explains this so here’s Ric Flair to try and calm things down. He was wrong when he made the match because that was up to Vince but Undertaker doesn’t run things around here.

Undertaker doesn’t buy it because he thinks Flair is still mad about Wrestlemania. If Flair knows what’s good for him, he’ll make Undertaker #1 contender for the match after Backlash. That means Austin time because we haven’t seen Austin vs. Undertaker in long enough. Well to be fair it had been a whole eleven months since they had a bad match.

Austin isn’t happy with the idea of Undertaker getting a title match because he has a stupid bandana, tattoos, gloves, pants and boots. Maybe Flair is scared but Austin would rather ask why Undertaker has a shirt on that says Deadman. This WHAT game is already getting annoying but it might be due to the last fourteen years or so.

Austin wants an answer so Flair makes TWO #1 contenders matches (Austin vs. Scott Hall, Undertaker vs. Rob Van Dam) because both of these guys have attacked him in recent weeks. In other words, it’s a mini tournament but it’s not clear if Van Dam or Hall can get the title shot at all. Heaven forbid we just cut out the nonsense and give us the only match it could realistically be.

Flair says this is about becoming #1 contender and then wants to explain what he means. Undertaker: “I know what you mean!” Now hang on a second there Deadman. All he’s done is explain it in very basic detail so we can’t be sure that common wrestling fans understood it. Undertaker makes bald jokes and gets punched to the floor but Austin won’t Stun Flair due to threats of Somehow this took well over fifteen minutes and I can personally guarantee you this was NOT needless filler.

Hardcore Title: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Booker T.

Booker is challenging but before we get going, he’s got something to say too. Well of course he does. Apparently people are here to see the Spinarooni so let’s pause while he gives the people what they want. Bubba: “Play some funky music for this white boy!” JR calls Bubba overly Caucasian before they fight out to the floor. It’s such a shame to see the Alliance members just not being able to get along like this. Bubba starts throwing in the weapons, which of course include a trumpet.

The middle rope backsplash misses (only one of those a century) and Booker hammers away (Lawler: “HIT HIM WITH THE TRUMPET!”) with trashcan lids. Bubba gets in a Samoan drop and hits some big elbows but there’s no D-Von to get the tables. The delay lets Booker get in a spinebuster but here’s Goldust with another referee. Bubba powerbombs Goldust through the table and pins him, which somehow ends the match against Booker.

Rating: D-. In addition to the boring match, we also got a really stupid ending with the actually challenger not even being pinned. This division needs to die already as they’re completely out of ideas and even their own rules don’t make sense a lot of the time. Bubba dancing was funny enough but this was even more filler on a show that has been full of it so far.

Trish Stratus (looking GREAT tonight) isn’t pleased with Molly Holly attacking her last week but William Regal cuts him off to talk about wanting to hurt Spike Dudley. Apparently Spike is an abortion on society and will be turned into a vegetable.

Kane is reading the Divas Magazine (I’m sure he only reads the articles) and assures Terri that just because his face is burned, the rest of him is just fine. He loves freaks and declares them cool before sucking up to the Arizona Diamondbacks fans. Where has this Kane been for the other eighteen years?

X-Pac plays with his nunchucks and tells the NWO that he’s got this on his own.

Kane vs. X-Pac

Falls count anywhere for reasons that aren’t clear. X-Pac jumps him at the entrance and kicks away to start but gets clotheslined out to the floor. They head into the crowd and then into the back where the NWO beats Kane down to give X-Pac the pin. This wasn’t even two minutes long.

X-Pac steals Kane’s mask and gives him a Conchairto but Bradshaw makes the save. I mean, he wasn’t on time and didn’t prevent anything but he did in fact show up.

Flair suspends Nash. Odds are he’s hurt again.

European Title: William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is challenging and hits Regal in the face with the brass knuckles to win in three seconds. The referee is fine with Regal being knocked unconscious before the bell.

Random people celebrate with Spike and I’m sure the fact that they all have 7-11 Slurpees with them is a coincidence. Bubba comes up and congratulates Spike in what’s supposed to be a nice moment.

Rob Van Dam vs. Undertaker

Non-title and if Undertaker wins he’s #1 contender at Backlash, whatever that means. Undertaker rips at Van Dam’s face to start and clotheslines him in the corner because the Intercontinental Champion is miles beneath him. Undertaker kicks and elbows Van Dam in the head as this is completely one sided so far. The legdrop hits the apron though and Van Dam hits his moonsault off the apron.

Back in and Van Dam botches his top rope kick, hitting Undertaker in the leg by mistake. At least it makes sense even if it wasn’t on purpose. Van Dam goes up but gets superplexed for two, meaning it’s time for a chair. Well to be fair they’ve been wrestling (read as Undertaker has been basically squashing him) for about seven minutes now.

A Van Daminator sets up the Five Star but here’s Eddie Guerrero to go after Rob. As usual, the referee is TOTALLY FINE with this and the brawl allows Undertaker to grab a chokeslam for a near fall. Rob kicks the knee out and hits the top rope kick to the chest. The Five Star looks to finish but Eddie gets in a belt shot, setting up the Last Ride to send Undertaker…..somewhere for something.

Rating: D+. It’s nice for a match to get some time and I’m glad Undertaker didn’t pin the champ clean but egads they were piling up the nonsense on this one. We had interference on the floor (not a DQ), a chair and a belt shot with Undertaker looking like he would have rather been anywhere else. Like on Smackdown, where there’s a lot less of this nonsense.

Trish Stratus is in the ring for her match but first, Terri asks Molly Holly if she’s upset because she’s not as beautiful as someone like Trish. This is one of those things that I can’t stand about wrestling culture (and culture in general): Molly isn’t good enough because she’s not Trish. I for one would never be interested in a 24 year old with shoulder length brown hair, a very natural look and the body of a professional athlete. After all she’s not a great looking blonde with a lot of plastic surgery (nothing against Trish of course as she’s gorgeous as well).

Molly says she’s beautiful enough and doesn’t need to be in paddle on a pole matches. Since this is the WWF though, that makes her a heel because in the WWF’s eyes at this point, all that matters is how much skin you show. Not only is that sad but it’s one of the worst possible messages you can present.

Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Women’s Champion Jazz is on commentary and has a black eye thanks to Trish (house show injury). Molly is back to the brown hair and it really, really suits her. Trish hammers away to start and has to drag Molly back inside. Back in and some shots to the face put Trish down but a Stratusphere draws Jazz to her feet. Trish loads up Stratusfaction off the apron but Jazz hits her in the face with the Women’s Title. Molly puts on something like an Indian deathlock before rolling Trish over for a weird looking bridging pin.

Rating: D. Is this show incapable of having a match end clean tonight? I guess we’re forgetting Trish vs. Molly (and likely Molly in general) to set up Jazz vs. Trish at Backlash. This match somehow got the second most time on the show so far and it’s just going downhill every single segment.

Paul Heyman tells Brock Lesnar to not attack fans, even here in Phoenix.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman with something to say. The fans tell Paul that the Yankees suck but he doesn’t seem interested. Some fan. Heyman is now Lesnar’s agent because Paul has managed Steve Austin, Undertaker and the WWF as a whole thanks to ECW. The important thing is that Heyman knows how to spot the next big thing, such as Brock Lesnar. We get a long video of Lesnar’s destruction to date before the Hardyz run in for the beatdown. A few chair shots to the head that would get them fired today put Lesnar on the floor but can’t knock him off his feet. At least he leaves for now before mauling them later.

Big Show vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect’s offense works as well as it’s going to before Show chops him out to the floor. Back in and a low blow (DQ? Anybody?) sets up a PerfectPlex for one. The chokeslam ends Perfect like he’s nothing.

Austin takes over Flair’s office. Do we really need another angle tonight?

The announcers try to explain the #1 contenders situation and it really doesn’t make sense. This includes a bunch of clips from earlier in the night and it’s even more filler.

Austin throws Flair’s pens around until Ric comes in to FINALLY make it clear: if Austin beats Hall tonight, he faces Undertaker for the #1 contendership. Austin: “Thank you for explaining it to me because I was a little confused.” Thanks for speaking up for everyone else Steve.

Scott Hall vs. Steve Austin

Hall has X-Pac (with the Kane mask) in his corner. Austin starts fast (likely wanting to get out of here as fast as possible) and choking with a shirt. They take turns throwing each other to the floor and Hall is sent into the steps. There’s no fire to Austin here and it’s showing horribly. Back in and an X-Pac distraction lets Hall take over for the first time. The chinlock doesn’t go anywhere but Hall does manage to fall down when Austin tries to suplex him for the break. Some slow stomping and punches have Austin down again.

A double clothesline puts both guys down though presumably it’s so Hall can have a breather. Back up and an awkward looking Thesz press has Hall in trouble but it’s time for a ref bump. X-Pac gets taken out but here’s Undertaker to chokeslam Austin. That brings out Bradshaw to fight Undertaker into the crowd. Hall gets the fall away slam and the referee is bumped again so X-Pac can come in. That means Flair comes out to knock X-Pac into a Stunner. Another Stunner to Hall sends Austin to Backlash.

Rating: D-. Both of these guys need to be off this show almost immediately. Austin might have a bit of a role for a while but Hall was a DISASTER here, barely able to do even the most basic stuff right and looking embarrassing in the process. The fact that we had four people interfere and two ref bumps in a nine minute match to hide how bad this would have been otherwise tells you all you need to know.

Austin Stuns Flair to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was horrible and you can pick your favorite reason why. It could be Molly possibly being evil because she’s not pretty enough, it could be the horrible wrestling, it could be one screwy finish after another or it could be the main story that was so confusing that multiple people called it complicated. I don’t remember a show this bad in a long time and I can’t imagine it’s going to get much worse than this. The match of the night was the Intercontinental Champion losing in a match just a step above a squash. If that’s the best that Raw can do, this show is in big, big trouble.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the first show of a new generation as Ric Flair is officially in charge of Raw with a roster all its own. I’m really not sure what to expect here as almost all of the stories are restarting, save for Kane vs. the NWO for reasons that I don’t want to understand. Oh and Raven won the Hardcore Title to bring that “division” to Raw. Let’s get to it.

Ric Flair joins us with the new WWF Undisputed Title and promises to make everything new. That includes signing Steve Austin to a new contract, which is indeed new and not someone we’ve seen for years who is way past his prime.

Opening sequence, including the debut of Across the Nation. I always liked that one.

We’ll see Kane vs. someone apparently named X-Pac. I say apparently because he doesn’t have a graphic.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.

Van Dam is defending and the big idea here is that we’re starting with a match. You know, aside from that promo that started the show. A hurricanrana puts Booker down to start and my goodness Van Dam is over. As usual, anything that lets the fans participate (such as the finger point) is almost a guaranteed way to get fans behind you.

Booker forearms him down and puts on two chinlocks less than four minutes in. You don’t often see Booker being that lazy and it’s rather surprising. Van Dam comes back with the usual but misses Rolling Thunder. The Spinarooni gets a huge pop and Booker nails a superkick, only to have JR distract me by saying “he’s not Buckwheat on crack.” There’s a line you would never hear today. Booker’s superplex is broken up and the Five Star retains the title.

Rating: C. Just a basic wrestling match here which isn’t exactly a rousing start to the new era. I like the idea of starting the show with wrestling and the match was fine but nothing we haven’t seen before. Van Dam always felt like the guy you put the title on so someone bigger can take it off him and Booker isn’t that person.

Post match Eddie Guerrero runs out for his return and beats Van Dam down. Now that makes things feel more important.

Here’s Vince McMahon as the Brand Split is already feeling unimportant. He’s here to sign Austin but let’s go to a break before Steve comes out. Back with security around the ring Lawler: “What are they out here for?” JR: “Security reasons.” Here’s Ric Flair to threaten to throw Vince out, arguing ensues and time is wasted until Ric sends out Big Show to carry Vince to the back. This took up WAY too much time and accomplished nothing.

During the break, Show literally threw Vince out of the arena.

William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Regal’s European Title isn’t on the line. The evil referee takes away Regal’s hidden brass knuckles to start but Regal beats Spike into the ground anyway, including a sweet diving drop toehold. A half nelson suplex sends Spike outside as the announcers discussing folding similies. Spike comes back with some headbutts to the ribs and a quick Dudley Dog for the fluke pin.

Rating: D. I’m assuming this sets up a rematch for the title next week though just having Spike pin Regal doesn’t have me the most interested in them fighting for the title. Then again there’s very little that’s going to make me care about the European Title in the first place so they didn’t have the best chances in the world.

The NWO takes over the APA’s office, which has been moved from Smackdown to Raw despite the team being split up. Even the trash and table are in the same state after the brawl.

Post break, Crash tells Bradshaw what the NWO did. Bradshaw goes off to take care of it and Crash chuckles.

Terri yells at Trish for being all snooty now that she’s on the cover of the Divas Magazine. Flair comes up and makes a paddle on a pole match.

Debra won’t let Coach into Austin’s dressing room.

The NWO spray paints the APA’s door and beats up Bradshaw, who comes through the door like a gentleman, without much effort.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba is challenging and they get right to the weapons, drawing the required ECW chants. Some elbows have Raven in trouble and it’s time to throw oranges (JR: “Not the citrus.”) at the champ, but not before Bubba does some juggling. Back in and Raven grabs a sleeper in a hardcore match so the announcers talk about the upcoming paddle match. A trashcan lid to the head puts Raven down for the middle rope backsplash and IT ACTUALLY HITS. Bubba looks stunned for a second before covering for two. The Bubba Bomb gives him the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. So that’s the start of Bubba’s face run and I actually bought into it at the time. Looking back it might not be the best idea in the world but at least they’re trying to make new stars with Bubba and Bradshaw. As I typed that, the reality set in all over again and it’s clear that this was destined to fail but at least they were trying.

Vince is still in the parking lot (with a camera in his limo for no logical reason) and says he’s sent someone to get Austin for the signing.

Here’s Flair to present HHH with the new title. Flair praises HHH for his comeback but gets cut off by the Undertaker, who says Flair drafted him here to embarrass him. Undertaker brings up beating Flair at Wrestlemania XVIII. The fans keep up the WHAT’S so Undertaker it says if you keep saying WHAT you sleep with your own sister.

Back on point, Undertaker says he beat HHH the same way at the previous Wrestlemania so it sounds like Flair is trying to show him up. Violence is teased but here’s HHH to be the big hero. At least we get one last look at the awesome Attitude Era title. HHH, in that slow voice that only he can do, says he’s the Undisputed WWF Champion and that big belt says Undertaker can’t beat him again. A match is made for Backlash and Undertaker isn’t interested in fighting before then.

Hardy Boyz vs. Boss Man/Mr. Perfect

I guess Wrestlemania VII is all forgiven. Apparently the solution to Boss Man being the same character who hasn’t been over in years is to get rid of the “big”. A way too early Twist of Fate is broken up and Matt is in trouble. The veterans start taking over as JR sounds miserable talking about the upcoming women’s match. As is almost always the case in these TV matches, the beating only lasts for a few moments before the tag brings in Jeff. The Twist of Fate and Swanton are enough for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. So you know how the Hardys are one of the best tag teams of all time? Well they still are and they’re capable of beating a makeshift team who had only teamed together a few times before this. Boss Man and Perfect aren’t the most interesting guys in the world at this point and neither would be around much longer.

Post match Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys to set up his first feud.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Paddle on a pole and they’re in bikinis. Thong jokes are made, puppies are requested and a bulldog allows Trish to get the paddle in just over a minute.

Before the paddling can occur, Molly Holly comes out and destroys Trish to give her a real match. Trish gets the paddle broken over her head to make it serious.

Vince promises he’ll get this done tonight. Like he promised last week was his last night on Raw.

Austin is here and tells Flair to let Vince inside so they can handle this after the main event.

We look at Kane’s amazing promo with Rock and Hogan. Rock being confused by Kaneannites is still great stuff.

Kane vs. X-Pac

X-Pac has Hall and Nash at ringside but Kane beats him up to start. Some kicks send Kane outside though Hall pulling the ropes down might have helped too. Nash adds in a big boot and X-Pac does his spinning heel kick, only to be launched out to the floor. Back in and the Bronco Buster has gets no reaction so Kane powerslams him for no cover. Kane finally has enough of the interference and punches Hall in the face, drawing the Outsiders in for the DQ.

Rating: D. I’ve been watching some Raw’s from 1996 lately and it’s amazing how different X-Pac became in the years since then. There was no fire here and it was a bunch of greatest hits, or as great as X-Pac ever got. I have no idea who thought Kane vs. the NWO was going to be entertaining and so far they’re being proven wrong.

Bradshaw comes in for the save and house is cleaned. For some reason Kane’s pyro fails, meaning two things had no heat here.

Here’s Flair for the Austin contract pitch. Before he can get very far, here’s Vince (JR: “No one walks like that.”) to say his intellectual sperm (Vince: “Yes I said intellectual sperm.”) that brought us here today. Vince takes credit for pay per view and growing the WWF to an international level. He also knew the Ringmaster wasn’t going to cut it and invented the Stone Cold character. This brings out Austin to ask Vince about the contract and play the WHAT game for a bit.

Austin reminds Vince of their history together and does some WHATing with Flair too. Austin asks if Vince had a chance to see this and flips him off. He’s intrigued by both offers because of both men’s success and agrees to sign with Smackdown. Austin tells Flair it was just business and asks where he signs. Before he does, there’s one more thing: April Fools. Vince gets a Stunner and Flair freaks out. Beer is served and Flair gets a Stunner of his own, followed by Steve signing with Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This Brand Split is in trouble early and there’s really no way around it. Raw has almost nothing going for it with the highlight of Austin who clearly isn’t all that fired up to be here. Most of the young talent is over on Smackdown and everyone knows it but Raw is the flagship and gets all the attention. There’s very little to talk about here and it wasn’t an entertaining night, which is hardly how you want to start things off.

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Smackdown
Date: August 30, 2016
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

Much like last night, this show has a lot of potential to be something big but instead of one big match, this show is built around a few individual issues. First and foremost, we’ll see the fallout from Miz’s awesome shoot promo on Daniel Bryan, which some people didn’t expect to see referenced on TV. There’s also more of the Tag Team Title tournament and Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin. Let’s get to it.

We open with the full Miz vs. Daniel Bryan interview from last week’s Talking Smack with Bryan calling Miz soft but Miz saying his style means he doesn’t get injured and leave for six months to a year at a time. Bryan walked off and Miz went on a tirade about how the Intercontinental Title is the most important one on Smackdown because he’s the one out there every night. This was GREAT and more emotion than Miz has ever shown, which makes me think his days as champion are numbered.

Shane tells Bryan that he can’t do that to the talent and Bryan agrees. However, Bryan finds this ironic coming from the person having issues with Brock Lesnar.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a ticked off Miz with something to say. Miz doesn’t want to hear any booing because it’s taken 148 days (the length of his title reign) to get the fans’ attention. He’s bringing prestige back to this title but people think he’s soft. Yeah he wrestles a different style but it’s because he’s smart enough to see the big picture.

What the fans don’t understand is what goes on backstage. Who do you think they call when they need someone to do a red carpet premiere or a commercial or main event Wrestlemania and then dress up as a chicken? Miz didn’t spend the first twelve years of his career wrestling in front of 50 people and people booing him for that makes them cowards. Cue Dolph Ziggler and I’m done. This was getting really interesting and it’s about Dolph “RESPECT ME WHEN I’M SERIOUS AND THEN LOSE EVERY BIG MATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN” Ziggler all over again.

Dolph says no one is going to buy what Miz says because he’s never proven a thing. If Miz wants to show how tough he is, fight right now with no referees or titles on the line. Just the two of them right now. As expected, Miz teases fighting but walks off. Ziggler says Bryan was right and calls him a soft, safe coward but that’s not enough to get him to fight either.

I actually felt the air go out of me when Ziggler came out. This story had the potential to actually be something fresh but instead it’s the same old Ziggler that we’ve seen for months and have no reason to believe it’s going to be anything different this time around. Ziggler is just a played out character and I wanted something fresh this time from Miz. Instead it’s another Battle of Cleveland because that’s what WWE thinks new and different means.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Hype Bros vs. Vaudevillains

The villains takes over to start and send Ryder outside for a neckbreaker on the floor. The double teaming only lasts for a few moments before the tag brings in Rawley for his splashes. A running fist in the corner sets up the Hype Ryder to pin English at 2:53. This was exactly the kind of energetic match these two needed, even though they’re likely losing in the next round.

To my shock, JBL seems to love the Hype Ryders. You would expect him to hate a team like this.

Post match the Hype Bros say they’re hyped enough to win the titles.

We finally see the tournament brackets and the Usos vs. American Alpha is actually a semifinal match. That makes things a lot more interesting.

AJ Styles runs into Apollo Crews and introduces himself as the face who runs this place.

Here’s AJ Styles for a chat. AJ, in the Cena headband, says he’s already beaten up John Cena and now he’s going to win the World Title. This brings out Apollo Crews to say Daniel Bryan has granted him a match against AJ right now. I love the fact that they just got to the point here. It was clear we were getting this match the second they ran into each other so there’s no reason to waste time setting it up.

AJ Styles vs. Apollo Crews

Crews leapfrogs AJ to start and sends it outside but Crews stops to brag about a right hand. Back with AJ holding a chinlock because that’s how you come back from breaks in WWE. Crews sends him into the corner and backdrops AJ outside for a moonsault from the apron. Back in and AJ’s high cross body is countered into a Samoan drop (that’s kind of insane) for another near fall. Not that it matters as AJ stuns him across the ropes and the Phenomenal Forearm puts Crews away at 8:15.

Rating: C+. Crews is still fun to watch but he loses a lot more often than not and really doesn’t have a character to speak of. Really all I know about him is that he’s an athletic freak and that’s not exactly enough to carry you far. It only worked so well for Shelton Benjamin and Crews isn’t that far along yet.

Earlier this week, Renee Young went to Heath Slater’s trailer and met his wife for some redneck humor. As Rhino eats cheese whiz and crackers, Slater calls not being drafted an oversight. More redneck jokes ensue and Slater talks about how he’s earned a contract several times now. When they win the titles, it’s time to upgrade to a double wide. There’s talk of the kids (outside picking up bottles and cans) but a car screeching sends the Slaters outside. Rhino just keeps calmly eating crackers. I get what they were going for here but this just isn’t my kind of humor.

Here’s Bray Wyatt with a message for Randy Orton. Bray isn’t scared of snakes or monsters because he doesn’t see Orton as anything more than a man. If Orton really hears voices, Bray hopes they’re telling him to run but here’s Randy in person. Randy says that a bunch of staples in his head aren’t going to change anything because being damaged is what he does. Bray calls himself the new predator and promises to cut the serpent’s head off at Backlash. Orton talks about Bray seeing the scars on his body but needing to worry about the scars inside. He agrees to the match and goes inside but Bray vanishes.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi

Nikki Bella is on commentary to do a commercial for Total Bellas. Naomi hurricanranas Natalya to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Naomi in trouble until a jawbreaker allows the tag off to Becky. House is cleaned and everything breaks down as Carmella comes out to brawl with Nikki. In the melee, Bliss rolls Becky up and grabs the trunks for the pin at 7:21.

Rating: D+. This division really needs some promo time. I know all of their basic characters (or what they have for characters) but I really don’t know much about most of them. Almost all of them need a chance to give us a reason to care, even if it’s just a quick promo during their entrances.

Video on the Headbangers. For the life of me I don’t get why they were picked to come back. It’s like when Greg Valentine would show up on Nitro for a one off match.

Video on Curt Hawkins.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Headbangers vs. Rhino/Heath Slater

Mosh and Thrasher look exactly the same as they did in 1999. Slater gets beaten down to start and the springboard clothesline puts him on the floor. Some stomping sets up a chinlock as Otunga calls the Headbangers the last two Marilyn Manson fans. The Stage Dive (powerbomb/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two as Rhino makes the save. Rhino (with what looks like some blood on the left side of his face) drags Slater over for the tag and the Gore ends Mosh at 2:53. It might be time for Thrasher to go back to training wrestlers like he did with Big Show.

A guy in a suit named Derrick Milliman has been granted a match tonight and issues an open challenge. Kane comes out for a chokeslam and leaves. Were they just running short on time or something? As Kane leaves, Baron Corbin comes out for the main event. Maybe that’s what they’re trying to set up?

Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title and AJ is on commentary. Ambrose knocks Baron to the floor to start and hits a running clothesline from the apron. Back in and Dean’s bulldog is broken up and Baron pounds away with right hands. We come back from a break with Corbin holding a chinlock and getting two off a choke legsweep. Dean fights up and gets two off his clothesline before hitting the suicide dive on the floor. Back in and the Deep Six plants Dean but AJ gets in Baron’s face and tells him to stay on it. Dean knocks Baron into Styles so AJ kicks Baron in the face for the DQ at 12:12.

Rating: C. Odd ending aside, this was a nice showcase for Corbin and it’s a good sign to not have him get pinned here. It would be nice if they gave Corbin something to do other than torture Kalisto (Did that go anywhere yet?). It’s not like they’re overflowing with options at the moment and building up a big man isn’t going to hurt anything.

Post match the main eventers fight until Dean hits Corbin with Dirty Deeds. AJ gets crotched and Dean seems to sympathize before bouncing the ropes up and down. Dean takes his belt and leaves AJ sitting on the top rope to end the show. I really don’t like having AJ look silly like that, especially after he did something good earlier tonight.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like an older episode of Smackdown but thankfully it was one where they actually got some stuff done. Nothing major was set up (save for making Bray vs. Orton official) but they did a good job of advancing a few angles and building towards the matches later on. That’s the kind of show they needed with less than two weeks before Backlash, but I’m still not sold on this being a full on three hour pay per view.

Results

Hype Bros b. Vaudevillains – Hype Ryder to English

AJ Styles b. Apollo Crews – Phenomenal Forearm

Alexa Bliss/Natalya b. Naomi/Becky Lynch – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Rhino/Heath Slater b. Headbangers – Gore to Mosh

Baron Corbin b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when AJ Styles interfered

Smackdown
Date: March 28, 2002
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,600
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

With the Draft out of the way, this is the final regular episode of Smackdown with the full roster before things split up next week. That means it’s also the last chance for the wrestlers to make one last good impression against their interpromotional rivals. In other words it’s a lame duck show that they’re trying to pass off as something important. Let’s get to it.

Booker T. vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Of course this show starts with two guys from WCW. Fallout from Monday’s tag match. Booker stomps him into the corner to start so Page chops away. The Draft picks start running along the bottom as Page hits a helicopter bomb for two. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar comes in to take out Page for the DQ.

Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say but we have to wait on the YOU SUCK WHAT chants because that’s how wrestling fans like their comedy. Angle thinks the people are pathetic, but not as pathetic as what happened to Stephanie on Raw. Kurt would like a special moment of silence and you can imagine his reaction when he’s booed out of the building. This brings out Vince to insult the fans and talk about HHH being the kind of model citizen that seduced and then humiliated his daughter. Then on Monday he beat her up!

Vince promises to take care of HHH and here’s the champ so Vince can make threats to his face. HHH promises to make Vince’s life miserable if Vince screws with him but decides Kurt is right: we should honor Stephanie, perhaps by looking at the end of Raw. That’s enough to make Kurt want a match against HHH tonight but Vince has a better idea: the two of them against HHH. This brings out Ric Flair to make it a tag match.

D-Von gives Bubba some exposition about the team splitting up if they don’t win the titles tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck

Billy and Chuck are defending and if the Dudleys lose they’re split up. On the other hand, if Billy and Chuck lose then they stay together, in theory at least. The questions I’ll never have answered. Bubba and Chuck start things off with Chuck being sent into the corner for some loud chops to the chest. D-Von comes in for some shoulders to Billy and it’s back to Bubba for some house cleaning. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Chuck and Rico offers a quick distraction, only to have the Doomsday Device plant Chuck. Rico’s second distraction works though and leaves Bubba to hit a Fameasser to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. So that’s it for the Dudleys in one of the most questionable moves I’ve seen in a long time. I get the idea of splitting up Edge and Christian and maybe the Hardys but who thought Bubba and D-Von could survive on their own? For the life of me I still don’t get the thinking behind that one and it’s yet another casualty of the Draft.

Bubba and D-Von destroy the champs with all the usual stuff one more time. There has to be a joke about Billy taking What’s Up. I don’t know if he had it coming in but Bubba’s eye (as in the eyeball itself) is full of blood. That’s quite the scary look.

The APA is splitting up and aren’t happy about it. Since it’s their last night together, they’re going to have a farewell bash. Tajiri is in charge of telling everyone and Torrie Wilson is in charge of playing strip poker.

Matt and Lita (interviewed by Lillian Garcia, who actually looked much better in her 40s) are so happy that they’re on the same show. Chris Jericho comes up and says no one should be happy since he can’t be champion again. Matt calls him a has been and gets jumped, likely setting up something for later tonight.

The Rock and Hogan call each other brother before talking about whether or not they can trust Kane in their six man tag tonight. Rock imitates King Kong Bundy and Kamala in a way to say yes. Dang it I was hoping for some more of those as there are multiple other Hogan monsters he could have done.

Anyway, Kane comes in and says it doesn’t matter if Rock is ready. In the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen from Kane (and that’s covering A LOT), he does an amazing Hogan-style promo, saying it doesn’t matter if it’s 20,000 Hulkamaniacs, 20,000 of the millions or 20,000 screaming Kaneannites (Rock: “Kaneannites?”) because the three of them are going to run wild on the NWO. He even does the posing and the hand to his ear with the fans absolutely losing their minds over this. This was HILARIOUS with Rock looking somewhere between amazed, terrified and stunned.

Hulk Hogan/The Rock/Kane vs. NWO

Apparently Flair drafted the NWO so he could “keep an eye on the poison.” Wouldn’t it be smarter to get rid of the poison? Rock and X-Pac get things going with X-Pac in early trouble before it’s off to Hall. The bad guys (as in the team with the Bad Guy) take over with Nash hitting the knees in the corner but Rock shrugs them off and tags in Hogan. I know he’s considered lazy but he can do a hot tag like almost no one ever.

Nash gets in a side slam (no hair flip yet) and Hogan gets beaten down. Wait so Kane is getting the house cleaning spot? That’s an odd choice but I’m willing to go with it due to that pre-match promo alone. A belly to back suplex breaks up Hall’s sleeper and the real hot tag brings in Kane. The Fake Diesel hits the real Diesel as everything breaks down. Well most of it does at least as Hogan is just standing on the apron while his partners fight 3-2. It turns out fine though as Kane chokeslams X-Pac for the pin.

Rating: C+. This would have been a good house show main event and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hogan was looking energetic here (believe that one if you want to) and X-Pac was the only one with any kind of fire on his team. I know he gets a lot of flack for good reason but when X-Pac had his head on straight, he was one of the better workers on the roster. Did the NWO ever actually win a major match? They debuted at No Way Out, won a few TV matches and then lost both Wrestlemania matches. What a great stable.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

They start fast, likely due to a lack of time. Matt sends him into the corner to start but gets crotched on top to slow him down again. Cue Lita for a top rope hurricanrana, setting up the Twist of Fate for two. Lita gets knocked off the apron and a low blow sets up the Walls to make Matt tap. Nothing match.

Jericho puts Lita in the Walls on the floor.

The APA party is going on and Torrie takes off a belly chain for her stripping. Christian freaks out over losing and destroys stuff.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Van Dam is defending and gets dropped throat first across the top rope to start. A full nelson slam gets two on Van Dam as Lawler tries to figure out which brand has better looking women. Test grabs the ropes to avoid a sunset flip but we get the referee kicking his arms spot to give Rob a near fall. That earns Earl Hebner a good talking to so he does a fast count on Van Dam’s sunset flip to retain the title. Ok then.

Raven doesn’t care who he’s wrestling for because he’s destroying the things he loves.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Maven

Maven is defending and I forgot how much I liked his theme. Raven starts fast with the alternating trashcan lid shots to the head. Maven loses his balance on the ropes but gets two off a missile dropkick anyway. Here’s Tommy Dreamer to try to win the title but the distraction lets Raven grab the Raven Effect for the pin and the title, which now moves to Raw.

Angle tells Vince that he’ll help get Austin to Smackdown.

We look over the Draft lottery results, almost none of which are worth mentioning.

William Regal crashes the party to say the APA is out of business. A fight breaks out because it wouldn’t be right otherwise. Bradshaw puts up the “sorry, we’re closed” sign and they go their separate ways to what sounds like a standing ovation.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle/Vince McMahon

Flair is in business pants. Vince and HHH start things off and I won’t even bother explaining why Angle and Flair come in a few seconds later. Kurt takes him into the corner to start and gets a thumb in the eye before it’s off to HHH. A quick belly to belly sends the champ flying but Flair comes back in with a sleeper. Kurt starts working on the knee and of course Vince is willing to get involved. Cole tries to explain the reason behind the Brand Split and it’s really getting worse with every word he says.

A few wraps around the post have the leg in trouble but there’s no way he’s going to get Flair in a Figure Four. I mean, he’s not Shawn or anything. Flair kicks Kurt low but the Figure Four is reversed into an ankle lock. Now Vince can get in the Figure Four, only to have Ric turn it over in a hurry. Angle is smart enough to make a very fast save before it’s off to the guys under 50. A spinebuster gets two on Kurt, only to have Vince hit HHH in the face with a belt for two. Flair actually hits the top rope shot to Vince’s head and goes for the real Figure Four but here’s Undertaker to lay Ric out and give Vince the pin.

Rating: D. Much like almost anything else HHH did around this time, this was slow, not very good, and could have been done better in less time. Vince pinning Flair doesn’t mean much and it’s not like Undertaker is going after anyone other than Ric, so this was pretty much the definition of “well, here’s a main event”.

Overall Rating: D. Hulk Hogan just had the runaway match of the night in 2002. This was a big commercial for the Brand Split as none of this matters (including a new Hardcore Champion) heading into the new WWF. Since there are almost no storylines here, everything other than Kane vs. the NWO and everything in the main event was filler. That’s not the way to make an interesting show but at least a lot of the matches were short.

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This seemed appropriate given what we’re seeing now.  Starting tonight, I’ll be putting up alternating reviews from the original Brand Split with Raw going up on Wednesday and Smackdown/pay per views going up on Saturdays.  There’s no better place to start than on the original Draft so let’s get to it.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 2002
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,550
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This seemed due for a second look since they’re doing it all again this year. We’re just after Wrestlemania XVIII and things are kind of in a lull. With so many wrestlers and no big evil for the WWF to fight (since the WCW/ECW Invasion just had to be started and wrapped up by Thanksgiving), it was decided to split the rosters in two. This was a really cool idea at the time but it should be interesting to see how it worked when the initial Brand Extension isn’t the most fondly remembered concept. Let’s get to it.

Linda McMahon is in WWF Studios to welcome us to the show, telling us that only twenty picks will be made tonight for the sake of time. The changes won’t officially take place until next week so everyone will be on Smackdown this week. As for tonight though, HHH, Chris Jericho and Stephanie McMahon can’t be drafted because they’re in a triple threat for the World Title (Yes Stephanie was getting a World Title shot and was a major focus fourteen years ago as well.). Steve Austin can’t be drafted either due to a contractual stipulation (read as a real life contract dispute) and is therefore a free agent and can sign wherever he wants.

Opening sequence.

There are PODIUMS ON THE STAGE! YES I SAID PODIUMS!!!

Tazz vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect wouldn’t be around much longer due to a certain airplane ride (long and bad story). After promising to be a perfect pick, Perfect dropkicks him at the bell as we’re told that the WWF and Women’s Champion can compete on both shows. An early PerfectPlex gets two as Tazz is next to the ropes. Perfect charges into a boot and the Tazmission finishes quick. I wouldn’t expect to see a lot of strong wrestling tonight.

Tazz says the perfect pick has become just another victim.

Ric Flair (Raw owner) and Arn Anderson are in their war room to go over their draft options.

Vince’s war room is just an office. He has the first pick and a photo of Kurt Angle is visible on his desk.

Here’s Vince for the first pick, which I’m sure will involve a speech. The first pick for Smackdown will be…..the Rock. Well who else was it going to be? Rock leaves the locker room (walking past Undertaker and Hogan who are among the masses in a nice touch) as we see a quick graphic showing his career highlights.

Vince tells Rock that he’s not allowed to put his hands on him or threatening to put his boots in various places or saying IT DOESN’T MATTER ever again. The fans cut him off with a ROCKY chant so Vince says he made both Hogan and the Rock. The boss goes to leave but Rock isn’t quite done yet. To be fair he hasn’t said anything yet so he hasn’t actually started.

Rock wants to go out on Raw with a bang because he won the WWF World Title here, formed the Rock and Sock Connection here and did various things to Vince. We hit some catchphrases before Rock has them do the Penn State chant (WE ARE…..PENN STATE) and then alters it to insult Vince even more. This was just a Rock’s greatest hits stretched over about ten minutes.

Ric comes out and picks Undertaker #1 overall despite hating him.

Kurt Angle comes in to yell at Vince for not picking him first. Vince talks about throwing Flair a swerve out there (By picking the Rock?) when Undertaker comes in to yell. The boss promises to make this right.

Edge/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian/Booker T.

Two feuds in one here but Edge is about to start a really good feud with Angle. Booker kicks Edge in the face to start and Christian gets two off a powerslam. A quick clothesline drops Christian though as the announcers talk about Austin having a clause in his contract to make sure he’s a free agent. In case of a Brand Split you see. Booker eats the Diamond Cutter but Christian gives him an Unprettier. A quick scissors kick puts Page away in a nothing match.

Angle reads off his resume until Vince makes him the #2 pick.

Ric picks the NWO (Hall/Nash/X-Pac) because that’s something you can do. I can’t wait for that Rock vs. Nash match. The NWO is uh….not in the locker room.

Vince yells at Angle for getting the NWO (who Vince brought in to poison the company) and promises to sign Austin. Angle suggests Chris Benoit (currently out with an injury but coming back soon.) with the next pick so Vince makes him #3. Benoit would return in July and just show up on Raw with no mention of being drafted to Smackdown. If nothing else it’s a good idea to have some of these picks backstage as there’s no reason to have them both come out here every time.

We see both brands’ big boards and JR thinks Flair’s strategy is, uh, strange.

The NWO threatens Ric so he picks Kane to keep an eye on them. Aside from X-Pac, Hall is now the second shortest member of the roster.

Trish Stratus vs. Ivory

Ivory returned last week to start a feud with Trish. They start fast with Ivory hammering away and ducking a middle rope cross body. Trish fights out of a chinlock and grabs the Stratusphere, followed by the Stratusfaction for another nothing match.

Vince picks Hulk Hogan, whose graphic incorrectly lists him as a seven time WCW Champion.

After a break, Ric picks Intercontinental Champion Rob Van Dam.

Vince is ticked because he wanted the title so Angle suggests giving him an Intercontinental Title shot tonight so he can bring the title to Smackdown. Vince: “That’s why you’re the number two draft pick! Maybe he should have been #1.”

Rock and Hogan have a bro moment where they praise the people. Ignoring the whole attempted murder thing from a few weeks ago, Rock agrees to team up against the NWO in a handicap match.

Vince picks Billy and Chuck as a unit.

The Rock/Hulk Hogan vs. NWO

The NWO powerbombed Rock through a table on Smackdown until Hogan made the save to set this up. Hogan and X-Pac get things going with a big shove sending the smaller one out to the floor. Hall gets pushed down with ease so it’s off to Nash who can actually shove Hulk down.

Hogan cleans house with ease but he takes too long loading up a backdrop and gets kicked in the face. It’s off to X-Pac for more kicks but Hogan knocks him away and makes the tag off to Rock. Things finally speed up and X-Pac is easily knocked to the floor. The Rock Bottom and legdrop get two on Nash with X-Pac making the save. It’s a three on two beatdown until Kane comes out for the DQ.

Rating: F. Were you expecting anything else? It says a lot when the match lasts five minutes and is this boring with a screwy ending. I mean, X-Pac can’t take a fall to the combined forces of Hulk Hogan and the Rock? I could go for an entertaining match at some point tonight but I’m not feeling confident at this point.

The NWO runs off.

Vince accuses Ric of sending Kane out there so Flair takes Booker T. Vince: “Edge!” Ric: “Big Show!” Vince: “Rikishi!”

Jeff Hardy vs. Billy

Lita, Matt, Chuck and Rico are all at ringside. Billy fires off some right hands in the corner to start but misses a charge. The announcers talk about being drafted to different shows as Jeff hits a tornado DDT. The Swanton misses though as Lita completely botches a hurricanrana to Rico (her legs weren’t around his head and he had to flip himself). Jeff grabs a rollup for a fluke pin in another nothing match.

Ric picks Bubba Ray Dudley so he can have “the most dominant tag team in WWF history.” Vince: “Well Ric it looks like you’re trying to get the most dominant tag team in WWF history.” Did Stephanie write this segment? Vince picks D-Von to balance things out.

The Dudleys, realizing their careers are pretty much over for the time being, hug it out.

European Title: William Regal vs. Rikishi

Regal is defending. And never mind as Brock Lesnar runs out and flattens Rikishi with an F5.

Jazz wants to see where the Divas end up.

Vince comes out to pick Brock but Ric says it’s his pick and he’ll select Brock instead. Vince: “Mark Henry!” Ric: “William Regal!” Vince: “Maven!” (Hardcore Champion). Ric: “Lita!” Vince gets on him for choosing a woman and thinks Ric just wants to sleep with her. Well duh.

Here are the picks:

Smackdown

1. The Rock

2. Kurt Angle

3. Chris Benoit

4. Hulk Hogan

5. Billy and Chuck

6. Edge

7. Rikishi

8. D-Von Dudley

9. Mark Henry

10. Maven

Raw

1. Undertaker

2. NWO

3. Kane

4. Rob Van Dam

5. Booker T.

6. Big Show

7. Bubba Ray Dudley

8. Brock Lesnar

9. William Regal

10. Lita

Riveting no?

Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam

Angle is challenging and grabs a German suplex for two as the bell rings. Van Dam gets stomped down as the fans chant USA. I’d assume for Angle, even though Michigan is just as American as Pennsylvania. Van Dam kicks him in the head and gets two off Rolling Thunder. Angle pulls the referee in the way of a top rope kick for the DQ.

Kurt puts on the ankle lock until Edge makes the save.

Stephanie is ready to win the title.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho vs. Stephanie McMahon

HHH is defending and the challengers have a business relationship. I have no idea why they never had a romantic relationship as that could have been amazing. If HHH pins Stephanie, she’s gone FOREVER. HHH backdrops the real wrestler to start but has to look at Stephanie so Jericho can chop away. Stephanie lays down so Jericho can cover her for two but he has to save her from the Pedigree.

HHH catapults Jericho into Stephanie so we can have the falling low blow spot. Thankfully HHH kicks her to the floor so we can have an actual match for a bit. Of course Stephanie won’t STAY AWAY FROM THE MATCH as she just has to come back in to screech about how Jericho needs to work on the leg. Stephanie gets run over by mistake so she slaps Jericho and demands that he get HHH. Jericho clotheslines her by mistake but gets sent to the floor, allowing HHH to tease another Pedigree. Naturally that can’t happen because the fans love waiting on her getting her comeuppance instead of actually getting it.

Jericho grabs the belts (this was when there was no Undisputed Title belt yet) for a double knockout, meaning Stephanie can cover both of them. The Walls have HHH in trouble but Stephanie breaks them up by jumping on Jericho’s back. A Pedigree gets rid of Jericho but THERE SHE IS AGAIN. HHH has finally had enough and hits a spinebuster (because we can’t hurt her perfect face) to retain.

Rating: D-. They couldn’t even do a good match (which these two are certainly capable of having) because that wasn’t the point here. Yeah a Wrestlemania main event rematch for the title eight days later wasn’t the focus. Instead, as I’m sure you can tell, this was ALL about Stephanie and there was no hiding it. Of course her being gone “forever” lasted less than four months as she was brought back as the completely face GM of Smackdown because she’s just so darn loveable that we can forgive this along with the whole Alliance thing last year.

Here’s the thing: what exactly did Stephanie add to this? Why couldn’t this have just been HHH vs. Jericho with Stephanie leaving if Jericho lost? It’s actually a good match, Jericho is fine with losing a fall to the champ and the guys don’t have to keep stopping so often so she can catch up. Horrible match of course and completely not HHH and Jericho’s fault, but since it can’t be Stephanie’s fault either (as nothing ever can be), we’ll blame….uh….oh yeah the referee. HE RUINED IT!

Stephanie of course freaks out and tries to hang on to anything she can before security takes her away. HHH sings the Goodbye Song to end the show. This was a special bonus in case you didn’t get that you were watching Monday Night Stephanie.

Overall Rating: F. Oh sweet goodness what a mess. First of all, the match of the night was……uhhh…..you know what it was actually Mr. Perfect against Tazz in a match lasting 1:53. That’s not to say it was good but it didn’t have a major botch, a stupid ending or the powers of Stephanie holding it back.

Other than that though, this was a complete disaster with Smackdown being stacked, Raw basically begging Austin to come back and save the thing and the “wrestling” being little more than background noise. This was somehow worse than I remembered it, which is covering quite a bit of ground as I remember this show being horrible the last time I watched it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This show was almost universally the Show of the Year for 2013 and I’ve been really interested in seeing how it holds up. There’s a double main event with Cena vs. Bryan for the World Title and Lesnar vs. Punk in Punk’s attempt to get revenge on Lesnar’s manager Paul Heyman for screwing him over back in July. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is making a rare defense here after Rob won a battle royal or something. Feeling out process to start with Dean saying bring it on. They trade hammerlocks until Rob nails a running shoulder and a kick to the jaw. Rob hammers away in the corner but runs into a boot to give Dean control. A neckbreaker gives Ambrose a two count and the fans are split on who they like best.

Dean hits the dropkick against the ropes and puts on a chinlock. Thankfully it doesn’t last long though and Rob comes back with a quick moonsault, only to walk into a clothesline for two. The bulldog driver is broken up by some more kicks to the face but Rollins and Reigns come out to break up the Five Star. This brings out Mark Henry and Big Show to even things up as we take a break.

Back with Dean dropping an elbow for two and putting on a cross face chicken wing of all things. Rob is sent outside and the four seconds have a standoff. Dean goes out to get Rob and winds up getting caught by the spinning kick to the back for two. A spinning legdrop gets the same for Van Dam but he walks into a spinebuster. Dean misses a middle rope elbow but a Shield distraction lets him get two off a rollup. Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Reigns spears Van Dam for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Good match here but the ending didn’t work. What was the point of having Big Show and Henry out there if they’re just going to have Reigns come in with no resistance for a DQ? It really is amazing how far Van Dam has fallen in the last year as I wouldn’t expect him to have this kind of a match today if his life depended on it.

Miz, the host of the show, welcomes us to the evening and runs down the big matches. He would be kind of perfect for this role today too. Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off….and that’s it.

The opening video focuses o how awesome Los Angeles is as well as the double main events. The overblown voiceover really works.

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match but you win by pin or submission. It’s also Bray’s in ring debut. Kane hammers away in the corner to start and we get the old school idea of the flames going up whenever anyone hits the mat. Harper and Rowan keep getting closer to the ring but have to back away from the flames. Bray comes back with headbutts but can’t get Kane up for a suplex.

Kane gets sent into the corner for a running splash followed by the cross body to put him down. A bunch of right hands have Kane in more trouble but he comes back with a running clothesline in the corner. There’s the side slam to send the flames up even more, preventing the Family from sending Bray a kendo stick. Rowan tries a fire extinguisher but the flames don’t go out. Kane hits a pair of chokeslams and calls for a tombstone, only to have Rowan and Harper cover the flames and come to beat Kane down. The yet to be named Sister Abigail gives Bray the pin at 7:45.

Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was really stupid. Bray looks like a joke in his first match (though he would have FAR better performances in the future) and the flames are more of an annoyance than the focus of the match. The Family coming in didn’t work and makes the whole thing look ridiculous.

Post match Bray sits in his chair while the Family crushes Kane’s head with the steps. They carry Kane away which never went anywhere.

The expert panel (Booker T., Shawn Michaels and Vickie Guerrero) chat about what we just saw and make some main event predictions.

Earlier tonight Paul Heyman compared Punk vs. Lesnar to David vs. Goliath. He sees the battles ending a bit differently. Tonight’s match is now no DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow screwed over his friend Cody to become Mr. Money in the Bank and Rhodes is ticked off. On the way to the ring, Damien talks about famous teams and says there has always been a leader and a sidekick. Cody has recently shaved off his mustache and Cole tells us we can find out why he has done so on Friday on Youtube. Seriously.

Sandow charges at him to start and hammers away in the corner but Cody comes back with a backdrop to take over. The release gordbuster gets two for Cody but Damien hammers away on him in the corner and cranks on the arms. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and we hit an old school Edgecator (kneeling Sharpshooter) to Cody.

That goes nowhere either as Rhodes fights up and hits a MuscleBuster of all things for two. A springboard missile dropkick sets up the Disaster Kick but Sandow comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. Cody nails a second attempt at the Disaster Kick for two but Cody misses a charge into the post. Again it doesn’t seem to matter as Cross Rhodes gets the pin on Sandow at 6:40.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Smackdown and really doesn’t mean anything. The idea was for Cody to eventually take the briefcase from Sandow but they dropped the whole idea and hooked Cody up with Goldust, which wound up being better for everyone involved. It didn’t last long but at least it was an idea. Sandow has fallen through the floor in a year and Cody is a completely different character.

Video on Christian’s career.

World Heavyweight Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Another match where both guys have completely changed course in a year. Christian is challenging after winning a triple threat a few weeks back. We’re ready to go after some big match intros and some gawking at Lillian in a gray dress. They lock up and head into the corner to start with the champion grabbing a headlock. Del Rio gets him to chase him around the ring but gets his throat snapped across the top rope.

Alberto breaks up a top rope hurricanrana and ties Christian in the Tree of Woe for some stomping. Back to the floor with Christian being sent into the barricade to start the arm work. A release flapjack and a kick to the head allows Del Rio to wrap the arm around the ropes. Christian sends him back outside and hits a big plancha to take the champion down, followed by a missile dropkick back inside.

The Canadian hammers away in the corner, ducks the running enziguri, and gets two off a top rope cross body. The Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber for two as Alberto is starting to get frustrated. There’s a jumping back elbow to the jaw from Christian but Del Rio counters a sunset flip out of the corner with a right hand.

Instead a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Christian and Del Rio is in trouble. It’s not enough trouble for him to get speared though as Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for a sweet counter. The low superkick gets two more for Alberto. He tries it again but gets rolled up for two. Christian finally hits the spear but injures his bad shoulder, setting up the cross armbreaker to retain Del Rio’s title at 12:28.

Rating: B. Good match here with both guys going back and forth until the logical and thought out ending. I love it when you have an old injury coming back from earlier in the match to tie into the ending, even though it’s not something you see often enough. It’s also nice to see a high level guy tapping out to a heel submission, which you see even less often.

Del Rio says he’s the Latino representative.

WWE loves the National Guard.

Video on Axxess from earlier today. Maria Menunos had a match and talks to Miz about how awesome that was. Fandango and Summer Rae interrupt with some more dancing, triggering a dance from Maria and Miz.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

This is the Total Divas match. You can add Natalya to the list of people who have fallen through the floor in a year. She has the Funkadactyls with her while Brie has Nikki and Eva Marie. I’m not sure who has the better backup here. Feeling out process to start with both girls doing their best choreographed spots. Brie slaps her in the face but has to head to the ropes to avoid a Sharpshooter attempt.

Natalya is sent to the floor and caught with a baseball slide to the back as a JBL chant starts up. Now it’s a Michael Cole chant, followed by the required Jerry version. Brie drops a leg and cranks on a chinlock as the fans want tables. Natalya fights up and puts on a quick Sharpshooter but Brie sends her into the corner. The other Divas get into it on the floor and we hit another chinlock from Brie. Back up and a sunset flip is countered into a Sharpshooter to make Brie tap at 4:19.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. It doesn’t hold up, the fans don’t care, and the whole thing is a waste of time. The girls didn’t even look all that great here as most of their outfits looked like they belonged in the 1950s. The fact that Total Divas didn’t get the Divas Title off of AJ continues to astound me.

Ryback harassed a catering guy earlier in the day.

We recap Lesnar vs. Punk. The idea is simple: both guys are Paul Heyman Guys, but then Punk started listening to the fans and asked Heyman to stop coming out for his matches. Heyman turned on him and cost Punk Money in the Bank, so Punk swore revenge. Brock Lesnar returned and laid out Punk, with Heyman eventually revealing that he asked Brock to come back and destroy Punk, despite swearing he didn’t.

Punk is out for revenge but has to go through Lesnar to get there. The title for the match was perfect: The Best vs. The Beast. I love the story behind this: yeah it’s about revenge, but it won’t be settled in a debate or by lawyers or something stupid like that. Instead, it’s going to be scheduled in a professional wrestling match, like every feud should be.

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

No DQ. Punk charges right at him but gets driven into the corner. Forearms to Brock’s head have no effect and he drives shoulders into the ribs. Punk tries some knees to the ribs but Brock literally tosses him across the ring. Brock stomps him down in the corner but Punk comes back with a hard knee to the jaw and a second one to send him out to the floor. A big suicide dive has the Beast down and Heyman is starting to freak out.

Punk gets some steps but Brock just rams them back into his face to take over again. He throws Punk onto his should but gets posted instead, allowing Punk to dive off the apron to drop Brock again. A clothesline off the announcers’ table nails Lesnar but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman, allowing Brock to blindside him. Brock picks him up again and LAUNCHES him over the announcers’ table. Then he throws him over the other table and stomps on the top of the table on top of Punk.

Back in and Punk goes after the legs but Brock just levels him with a clothesline. We hit the bearhug until Punk scores with forearms, only to take a hard knee to the ribs. It’s almost total dominace by Brock so far. Back to the bearhug but Punk elbows out of it again. Some kicks to the chest have Brock in trouble but he counters a high cross body into a fall away slam.

We hit the chinlock but Punk bites his ear to escape. More kicks have Brock in trouble and a top rope knee sends him sprawling across the ring. There’s a pair of running knees in the corner but Brock counters the third one into the F5. Punk escapes again and nails a high kick followed by the Macho Elbow (more like a splash) for a VERY close two. The fans are totally into this.

The GTS is countered into another F5 attempt but Punk escapes and nails another high kick. He tries the GTS again but gets caught in the Kimura. Somehow he counters that into a cross armbreaker but Brock rolls over into a choke. Punk counters THAT into a triangle choke, only to have Brock lift him for a powerbomb. That doesn’t break the hold either and it’s back to the triangle, but Brock lifts him into another powerbomb, this time with a running start. AMAZING sequence there and the fans give it the THIS IS AWESOME chant that it deserves.

Brock busts out Three Amigos of all things for two. Punk is half dead in the ring so Brock heads outside and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Punk dives onto the chair, driving it into Lesnar in a huge crash. Now it’s Punk wearing out Brock with the chair as they head back inside. Brock takes the chair away, only to get hit low before he can destroy Punk. Punk nails the Cactus Jack chair drop from the top for two as Heyman is pacing back and forth.

Punk just starts beating Brock with the chair but Heyman gets on the apron for a distraction. Lesnar lifts him for the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman for the block. He slips off Lesnar’s back and hits the GTS for a white hot near fall with Heyman making the save. After a quick chase, Punk charges into the F5 but counters AGAIN into a DDT for another two.

There’s the Anaconda Vice and Lesnar is in trouble, drawing Heyman in with the chair….but Punk gets up and steps on it. There’s a right hand for Heyman and a Vice of his own, but Punk is wide open for a chair shot from Lesnar. A bunch more chair shots sets up an F5 on the chair to give Brock the pin on Punk’s dead body at 29:07.
Rating: A+. I said this was Match of the Year last year and a second viewing affirms that view. This was AMAZING with some great David vs. Goliath stuff, a white hot counter sequence, and then two guys just beating the tar out of each other for ten minutes to end the match. Heyman making the save made sense, but it makes Punk look like the superhero that everyone thought he was. Totally awesome match here and Lesnar looks like the monster that he’s supposed to.

Oh and one more thing: SCREW YOU HHH FOR WASTING BROCK FOR A YEAR FOR YOUR STUPID EGO. Seriously, a year of this lost for that “trilogy” nonsense with HHH winning the big match on the biggest stage before letting Brock get his win back in a totally forgotten cage match. Lucky us.

Punk gets the well deserved standing ovation.

A fan gets splashed by Mark Henry for Summerslam tickets. He gets to sit in front of the announcers’ table for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Two feuds combined into one. The guys start with Ziggler nailing a fast dropkick for two on Big E. Langston comes right back with a belly to belly suplex and a spinning Warrior Splash for two of his own before we hit the abdominal stretch. Dolph quickly escapes and scores with another dropkick before it’s off to the girls. Kaitlyn throws her around but gets caught by a big kick to the face.

A back elbow gets two for Lee and she hooks a sleeper. AJ shouts a lot but gets caught with a shoulder block. Back to the guys and there are the ten elbow drops from Dolph. The Fameasser misses and Big E. hooks a tilt-a-while backbreaker for two. AJ takes out Kaitlyn with a Shining Wizard but Big E. hits the post. Kaitlyn spears AJ in half (I miss her selling the heck out of that move) as Big E. gets back up and runs over Dolph. The Big Ending doesn’t work though and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 5:46.

Rating: D+. I feel sorry for this match as it was a glorified TV match that had to go after a thirty minute masterpiece. These four feuded for a long time and it was getting boring by this time. AJ would hold the Divas Title for a ridiculous eight more months and Kaitlyn doesn’t even have a job anymore. Again, it’s amazing how much a year has changed.

Miz gets cut off by Fandango and Summer again, finally causing Miz to knock him out.

The expert panel makes their World Title match picks.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. The idea here is simple: Bryan had been on a roll and Cena was allowed to pick his opponent for Summerslam. He summed it up in four words: “I select Daniel Bryan.” This was the start of Bryan being a B+ player as authority (not The Authority) figures started saying Bryan was just too small to be World Champion. HHH and Vince tried to turn him corporate but Bryan couldn’t bring himself to do it because it wasn’t who he was. The only person that seems to be supporting him is HHH, who is guest referee tonight.

At the same time they actually made it somewhat personal between Cena and Bryan as Daniel called Cena out for being a parody of a wrestler. Cena got very serious and said that he was a wrestler even if he wore bright t-shirts. He chose Bryan because he’s the best competition in the company right now and has earned the spot. Cena also has fluid the size of a baseball in his elbow at the moment and is going to be taking time off after the match.

WWE Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH is guest referee. Daniel wisely goes after the bad arm to start but gets taken down with a headlock. Back up and Cena isn’t sure what to make of Bryan and his technical abilities. John easily wins a test of strength but Bryan bridges off the mat. Cena jumps down on him but can’t break the bridge in a nice display of strength by the bearded one. A YES Lock attempt sends Cena out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena uses the bad arm for a headlock before they hit the mat for the old Flair bridge up into a backslide from Bryan for two. It’s Bryan in control now but Cena blocks the surfboard with pure power. Daniel is sent to the apron and knocked into the announcers’ table with a hard shoulder. Cena is wrestling as the heel here by default as the power guy.

Bryan pops up and whips Cena into the steps but Cena sends him in as well. Fans to Cena: “YOU STILL SUCK!” Back in and Cena hammers away to get the upper hand but lets Bryan get up. A sitout powerbomb gets two for the champion and we hit the chinlock. Bryan is quickly back up with right hands as Jerry reminds us that HHH is guest referee. He hasn’t meant anything yet.

Bryan backflips over Cena out of the corner and nails the running clothesline. Here come the YES Kicks but the big one misses, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. The Shuffle gets two and Bryan nails the big kick to the head for the same. Bryan finally starts going after the arm by snapping it over his own shoulder and firing off kicks to the elbow. Cena tries a quick STF but Bryan mule kicks his way out. Now it’s Bryan putting Cena in the STF but he can’t crank on it as well.

Cena powers up but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Cena powers out of the third suplex and tries the AA, only to be reversed into the YES Lock. Bryan can’t quite get it on and Cena gets his head out of the grip to escape. That’s fine with Daniel who slaps on the guillotine choke. Again I had to hear Cole say HHH’s name to remember that he was the referee. Cena powers up again and drives Bryan into the buckle a few times before finally grabbing a rope for the break.

An AA connects out of nowhere for two and Cena is getting frustrated. He goes up top but Bryan breaks up the top rope Fameasser. A running dropkick has Cena reeling and Bryan superplexes him down, only to hook his feet on the ropes to stay up top. That’s kind of brilliant actually. The Swan Dive connects for two and Cena rolls outside. The FLYING GOAT is countered by a forearm to the face and the top rope Fameasser gets John another two count.

Cena goes up again but gets caught, only to try to slam Daniel down. Instead we get a TERRIFYING semi-botch as Cena almost piledrives him off the top. Thankfully Bryan’s neck is in one piece (for now) as Cena puts him in the STF. He pulls back too far though and Bryan slips out to apply the YES Lock. Cena is right next to the ropes for the break though and both guys are exhausted.

It’s Bryan up first with the running dropkicks but he tries one too many, allowing Cena to take his head off with a running clothesline. They slug it out again until both guys try flying shoulders and knock each other out again. Back up and they slap it out as the fans are even more into it now. Cena catches him charging and plants Bryan with a spinebuster. Allegedly Bryan countered with a DDT but it didn’t come off that well on camera.

It’s Daniel to his feet first and going up top, only to have Cena counter his high cross body into an AA. Daniel counters that into the small package for two, followed by a BIG kick to the head. He doesn’t cover, but instead debuts the running knee to the chest for the 100% clean pin over Cena (I believe the first since Rock at Wrestlemania) for the pin and the title at 31:07.

Rating: A+. Yep this worked too. This is a totally different style of main event match and it more than holds up a year later. There was a solid story in there of Bryan being as technical as he could be and Cena just muscling his way through it, only to have Bryan knee his head off for the pin. Excellent match, but somehow it’s the second best of the night and of the year.

Post match Cena is upset but hands Bryan the title and raises his hand with no violence.

Bryan celebrates for about three minutes….and here’s Mr. Money in the Bank Randy Orton. Bryan is ready for him, but not ready for HHH to spin him around for a Pedigree.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton is champion in 8 seconds.

The new heel forces pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This won Show of the Year and it’s easy to see why. The two main events are more than enough to make this awesome but you also have good stuff like Del Rio vs. Christian. Nothing was truly horrible here (the Divas match was just over four minutes so how much can it really hurt?) and two instant classics make this more than great and one of the best shows WWE ever put on.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original:
Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+
Redo: D

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C
Redo: D+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+
Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F
Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+
Redo: A+

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+
Redo: A+

Overall Rating:

Original: A-
Redo: A

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main story here is Brock Lesnar is back, having returned the night after Wrestlemania to start a feud with John Cena. That feud lasted for a month before Lesnar started going after HHH. It wasn’t until three months later, as in tonight, that they’re having their showdown. Other than that we have Punk defending the title against Big Show and Cena and Sheamus defending against Del Rio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.

A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.

Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.

The opening video talks about the twenty five years of Summerslam, meaning we’ll have to hear about how this is the 25^th anniversary. The video is interrupted by talk of a storm called Brock Lesnar, which to be fair is the main draw of the show.

Jerry and Cole’s intro is cut off by Vickie’s screeching intro of Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Dolph is Mr. MITB here and Jericho is freshly face after Ziggler accused him of going soft. Jericho has taped up ribs from an attack at Ziggler’s hands. The fans LOVE Chris and things start fast with the Canadian hitting the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Jericho slips out of the corner on a spinning clothesline but Ziggler escapes a suplex and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Dolph stays on the ribs for a quick two but gets backdropped out to the floor.

Chris’ springboard dive misses as Ziggler casually ducks, sending Jericho crashing to the floor. Ziggler hooks on a chinlock with a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs. A knee to the head gets two for Dolph and a neckbreaker, complete with hip swivel and ARROGANT COVER, gets two more.

Jericho gets a quick cradle for two but Ziggler takes him right back down with a clothesline. Dolph misses a Stinger Splash and Chris goes after him, only to be easily taken down by another shot to the ribs. Not that it matters as he pops up top for the ax handle but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs again. The Fameasser gets two but an enziguri puts Dolph down for two as well. Back and forth match so far here.

Dolph jumps over Chris in the corner and puts on the sleeper which looks horrid here. Jericho rams him into the corner to escape and rains down some right hands before snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. The ribs are damaged even more though, delaying the count by several seconds. A jumping DDT gets two on the Canadian and Ziggler is getting frustrated.

They slug it out with Jericho taking him down via the bulldog but the Lionsault hits knees. The Zig Zag gets two but Dolph can’t follow up. Instead he walks into the Codebreaker to send him to the floor. Jericho throws him in but gets tripped up by Vickie, allowing Ziggler to roll him up for two. Dolph misses a charge into the post and the Walls go on for the submission.

Rating: C+. The idea here was that Jericho couldn’t win the big one anymore. The problem here though is they would have a rematch tomorrow night with Jericho’s contract and Dolph’s case on the line. Why they didn’t have that match here is anyone’s guess but at least it was a good opener and the fans popped for the ending. They had some Shelton vs. HBK from 2005 in there with Jericho fighting a younger version of himself but using his maturity and experience to get the win.

Vickie freaks out over the loss.

We recap Brock breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw.

Heyman and Brock say Lesnar wins tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

It’s amazing that this team started less than a year ago. The fans are already chanting YES and Bryan says NO. It’s amazing how a chant this simple carried Bryan so far. This was set up by GM AJ as revenge against Bryan for jilting her or something. Bryan fires off kicks to start but walks into an uppercut to knock him back. Daniel moonsaults over Kane in the corner but gets kicked in the face to put him down. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but the fans are all behind Daniel.

Another big boot gets two but Bryan comes back with the kicks to the legs, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. Bryan slides back in and hits the FLYING GOAT to put Kane down. The missile dropkick drops Kane again and there are more kicks, only to have Kane clothesline his way out of trouble. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan bails to the floor.

Bryan slaps him in the face like a knucklehead, sending Kane through the roof. Bryan is tossed into the corner and stomped down by a furious Kane. The referee drags him away, allowing Bryan to try the NO Lock. Kane powers out so Bryan kicks him in the head. Why overcomplicate things? The flying headbutt is caught in the chokeslam but Kane wants the tombstone, allowing Bryan to counter into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good match here and you could see the anger management stuff coming. Kane had Bryan beat but wanted revenge and let Bryan catch him off guard. These two obviously had chemistry together and the story would be a big boost to Kane’s career. Also the original idea here was Bryan vs. Charlie Sheen somehow. Thankfully that was never mentioned again.

Kane is going nuts in the back. Josh Matthews comes up to him like the schnook he is and is LAUNCHED off camera in a funny bit.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and Mysterio is dressed like Batman. Rey grabs a quick rollup for two and the champion bails to the floor for a bit. AJ has promised to deal with Kane for attacking Matthews tomorrow on Raw. Miz throws Mysterio through the ropes to the floor but Rey rolls through to avoid pain. The champion sends him ribs first into the barricade to take over as this isn’t doing much for me so far.

Miz pulls on Rey’s face and puts on a chinlock before hitting something resembling Abyss’ Shock Treatment (torture rack backbreaker) for two. A boot to Rey’s head gets two and it’s off to a cravate for a bit. Miz hits the corner clothesline but spends too much time laughing at the crowd, allowing Rey to crotch him on the top.

Rey’s seated senton is rolled through into a slingshot sitout powerbomb for two from Miz. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for the same result and a top rope hurricanrana sends Miz into the 619 position. The kick to the face connects but Rey misses the top rope splash. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a cradle for a hot two count. A second attempt at the Finale works though to retain Miz’s title.

Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going but it had a few nice moments at the end. Both of these guys fell so far in just a year as both guys were fighting for the world title just a year ago. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do much for me. It was one of those matches that came and went and I won’t think about it again an hour from now.

Teddy Long and Eve, the bosses of Smackdown, leave AJ’s office and seem to approve of what she’s doing. They leave and Punk goes in to find a smiling AJ. Punk doesn’t like the idea of being in a triple threat for the title tonight and thinks it’s happening as revenge for him rejecting AJ’s proposal. AJ just stares off into space and Punk accuses her of disrespecting him but she doesn’t move an inch.

We recap Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus. These two feuded FOREVER and Del Rio never did much of anything. He complained about Sheamus not being high class so Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car. Fake cops beat up Sheamus and that’s about it. It’s as boring of a feud as it sounds.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys tumbling out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus hits a quick neckbreaker and the rolling senton for two each. Sheamus puts him on the top rope for a belly to back superplex but Alberto gets onto Sheamus’ shoulder to escape. The buckle pad is pulled off in the process. Del Rio can’t hook the armbreaker so he kicks Sheamus out to the floor instead. Sheamus is sent knee first into the steps as the crowd is DEAD.

Back in and Del Rio hits a flying shoulder block for two before hooking the chinlock. A kick to the head gets two on the champion and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Del Rio mocks Sheamus’ chest pounding before the Brogue Kick, only to have Sheamus ax handle him in the head. Sheamus goes up but a kick to the let puts him down again. A kick to the arm gets two for Alberto and the armbreaker goes on, FINALLY waking the fans up.

Sheamus of course is barely phased by it and rolls onto Del Rio to break the pressure. He picks Alberto up into a kind of powerbomb to break the hold, earning himself a chant from the crowd. White Noise gets two and Sheamus avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus pounds down right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle. The enziguri in the corner is good for two so Del Rio yells at Ricardo. Rodriguez throws in a shoe but Sheamus intercepts it to knock Ricardo out cold. The Irish Curse hits for the pin, ignoring Del Rio’s foot being on the rope. REMATCH!

Rating: D+. The match was decent but it never felt like Sheamus was in any real danger. The drop onto the exposed buckle and the enziguri got a near fall, but it didn’t feel like a close near fall; It felt like it was there because this is where we’re supposed to have a dramatic kick out if that makes sense. It’s not bad but this feud didn’t need to continue at all.

We hear about Mike Tyson and Piers Morgan having a Twitter war over the main event. I’ve got nothing.

We get a clip from the pre show where HHH tells the referee that the match isn’t ending on a countout or a DQ.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

I don’t remember Kofi and Truth being champions AT ALL. Truth and Young get us going as the fans chant Kobe Bryant, referencing the joke that got AW fires. Young is taken down by an armdrag and a legdrop gets two for Truth. Truth has to fight out of the corner but gets caught in the face by a big boot for two. Back up and Truth hits a great side kick to take Titus’ head off and get himself a breather. Off to Kofi to speed things up as the crowd still isn’t all that interested.

Kofi chops O’Neil down but a Young distraction lets the challengers take over. Titus clotheslines Kofi down for two before suplexing Young onto Kofi’s back for two. A snap powerslam gets the same for Darren and it’s back to Titus for an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Titus loads up a spinout Rock Bottom, only to be pulled dowin into a DDT. Hot tag brings in Truth to clean house and everything breaks down. Titus is sent to the floor and caught by a Kofi dive, allowing Truth to hit Little Jimmy on Darren to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Raw. The Players are a decent team but Titus is clearly the star with Young just being there. Kofi and Truth are just transitional champions before HELL NO would take the championships a few weeks later. Nothing to see here other than a filler before we get to the main events.

Video on Summerslam Axxess.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Punk won the title at Survivor Series but got angry over Rock vs. Cena being announced as the main event of Wrestlemania 28 a year in advance. Cena cashed in the MITB case at Raw 1000 but Big Show cost Cena the match. AJ made it a three way for the sake of tormenting Punk (now a heel demanding respect) for turning down her proposal.

Punk’s complaints about how the title should be the focus and how he wasn’t getting respect are why his heel turn didn’t go well: those are logical points and heels aren’t supposed to be logical. WWE failing to get this is the source of a lot of their problems. Heels are supposed to be bullies or maniacal in their delusions, not making thought out rational points.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Show knocks down both smaller guys as Cole talks about Punk not main eventing a show since December despite holding the title the entire time. Good point actually. The LOUD chop hits both Cena and Punk’s chests twice each with Big Show in total control. They finally work together but Show easily suplexes them both down. Cena is crushed in the corner, knocking him out to the floor so it’s Punk vs. Show one on one.

Punk wisely takes out the knee and fires off kicks to the chest as the fans are entirely behind him. The smart moves are canceled out though as Punk tries a GTS with the obvious result. Cena tries an AA but the powers of gravity take him down to the mat, crushing Cena’s head against the mat. Show chops Punk down in the corner and knocks Cena out to the floor. Punk avoids a splash but tries a springboard cross body like a schnook, earning that powerslam he gets.

The Final Cut puts Punk down but Cena breaks up the WMD, earning himself a spear from the giant for two. Show loads up a double Vader Bomb but only hits Cena, allowing Punk to springboard onto Show for the save. Everyone heads to the floor with Big Show chokeslamming Punk against the ropes, sending him back to the floor. Show drops Cena with a side slam but stares at the crowd instead of covering. Maybe someone was holding up a Twinkie?

Cena actually hits a belly to back suplex on Show and loads up the Shuffle, only to have Punk charge in for the save. The champion drops the Macho Elbow for two on Show but gets launched away. Since covering hasn’t worked, Punk puts on a modified Koji Clutch but Show easily powers out. The crowd has DIED for some reason. Cena comes back in and shoulders Show down, bringing them right back to life.

There’s the STF on Show but the big man stands up to break the hold. Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline to take Show down again, followed by three straight knees to the head in the corner. The bulldog is easily countered (of course) but Cena hits the top rope Fameasser to put the giant down.

We get a Koji Clutch/STF combo and Show taps, but we have no clear winner. This brings out AJ (Punk: “DO THE RIGHT THING LIKE SPIKE LEE! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEY CAN TWEET ABOUT IT!”) who eventually says restart the match, allowing Show to hit a double chokeslam for two on each guy. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the AA, but Punk throws him to the floor and steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The match was ok with the logical story but it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. The restart was pretty dumb as well as Big Show shouldn’t have had a chance to win the title after tapping out. Cena vs. Punk would continue for months which would make for some great matches, but this wasn’t anything special. Not bad at all though.

Various B level celebrities are here. Maria Menunos in a Bob Backlund shirt works very well.

Trailer for whatever WWE’s latest movie is at the point. The Day. Ok then.

We recap the pre-show match to fill in time.

Kevin Rudolf sings the theme song.

We recap the main event. Basically Lesnar tried to hold the company hostage by renaming Raw to Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. HHH stood up to him and got a broken arm as a result. Brock broke Shawn Michaels’ arm as well to make it a domestic issue for HHH. This was one of those feuds that people weren’t all that thrilled to see but it could have been worse. More on that later.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Every time I watch a Brock Lesnar match I remember how scary of a human being he is. We get spotlights for the big match intros in a cool idea. Remember that HHH told the referee to allow a lot of fighting tonight. Lesnar powers HHH into the corner to start and goes for a standing kimura (arm lock that he used to break the arm) with a jumping body scissors. HHH though is a MAN and powers out of it before clotheslining Brock to the floor. Back in and Brock pounds away, only to be clotheslined to the floor again. You know, because Cena can be in a war with Brock at Extreme Rules but HHH can easily stop him.

Brock comes back in and takes the MMA gloves off before taking HHH down to the mat with an amateur move. They head outside with HHH shrugging off Brock’s attacks and pounding away, only to be dropped arm first onto the announce table. Lesnar eventually drags HHH back in for a hammerlock slam. Back to the standing kimura with Brock wrapping the arm around the ropes and ramming it into the corner.

A release German suplex puts HHH down again but he comes back with a neck snap across the ropes. Brock is taken down by a DDT but he goes right back to the kimura and another hammerlock slam. They head to the floor with the arm going into the steps and the rest of HHH going into the announce table. Brock jumps off the table onto the Game before taking him back inside. Of all things, Lesnar busts out a small package for a one count. A hard clothesline puts HHH down but he blocks a suplex into one of his own to get a breather.

Brock misses a charge into the corner but blocks a Pedigree and throws HHH out to the floor. HHH sends him into the announce table stomach first, which is a weak spot due to some real life past illnesses which ended his UFC career for all intents and purposes. More shots to the stomach have Brock in trouble and a knee to the ribs puts him down. Heyman is losing his mind and Brock is in trouble.

The spinebuster puts Brock down and there’s the Pedigree for two. A low blow puts HHH down and Heyman screams that this was HHH’s idea. The F5 is good for two and Brock is stunned. I have no idea why, as you know you can’t get a win off one finisher in WWE. Now the kimura goes on again with a bodyscissors but a rope break means nothing. Instead HHH pretty easily punches his way out of it and hits another Pedigree. Thankfully Brock no sells it and puts on the kimura, breaking the arm again and drawing the submission.

Rating: C+. The match is ok but it has one major flaw: it’s BORING. You don’t bring in Brock Lesnar to have him go toe to toe with HHH. You bring him in to have him destroy small cities and eat villagers. That’s the issue here. We went from Cena surviving against an insane Brock Lesnar to HHH having Brock in trouble in a dull match. Lesnar didn’t seem insane here at all and it made for a much less interesting match. Also, Cena won with a Hail Mary shot, where as HHH can slug it out with Lesnar? That just doesn’t hold up at all. Somehow this would be the high point, as this feud went on another TEN MONTHS.

Naturally HHH gets the big heroic stand up in the ring, but instead of people giving him a standing ovation they tell him that he tapped out. HHH stands there until people finally applaud him. He apologizes to the fans and slowly walks out. I guess this is supposed to be like Austin at Wrestlemania 13 but it’s just failing. The speculation is that HHH is leaving for good. If you bought that, raise your hand to show how gullible you are.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show as most of the matches are ok but nothing goes beyond that level. Most of this show would be classified as ok at best and uninteresting at worst. It’s just kind of there with nothing memorable other than HHH DEMANDING to give us his moment at the end. Nothing to see here and not worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Original: D

Redo: D+

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Prime Time Players

Original: C

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C-

It’s still boring.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/19/summerslam-2012-lesnar-is-a-wrestler-again-just-like-everyone-else/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Tonight’s show focuses on one idea: the Nexus Invasion. Back in February of 2010 ECW was replaced by a new competition show called NXT. Eight rookies tried to become the next WWE Superstar with Wade Barrett winning the competition. One night in June, these eight men invaded Raw and took over the arena to end the show. Over the next three months, these men, now called Nexus, terrorized the company and John Cena in particular. Tonight it’s Team WWE vs. Nexus in a Survivor Series elimination tag match. We also have Kane vs. Mysterio and Orton vs. Sheamus in the title matches. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how change can affect so many things, such as Nexus destroying everything in sight.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph is defending and has Vickie with him. These two have fought a ridiculous number of times, even trumping Edge vs. Cena. Ziggler took the title nine days ago with Vickie’s assistance. Vickie’s EXCUSE ME is finally cut off by Kofi’s music. Kingston quickly takes him down and stomps away before clotheslining Dolph to the outside. A suicide dive totally misses though and Ziggler gets a breather.

Back in and the champion pounds away before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock but Kofi is out of it in a few seconds. Instead Dolph sends him face first into the buckle for two before hitting a Hennig neck snap for two. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments until the jumping elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

We hit chinlock #4 but Kofi gets bored and goes off on the champion before hitting the Boom Drop. The middle rope cross body is rolled through, getting a two for Dolph as things speed up. A Fameasser puts Kofi down for two more but he pops up and clotheslines Dolph back down. The champion avoids Trouble in Paradise and hooks his sleeper but the Nexus runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. These two are capable of having far better matches if they don’t have to kill time until the run-in ending. Far too much of the match was spent in the chinlockery and it’s a rare bad opening match for Summerslam. Kofi continues his career path as Ziggler is about to start his climb to almost the top of the company.

Ziggler bails and Nexus destroys Kingston. Barrett talks about how Team WWE only has six men but the seventh doesn’t matter because Nexus is going to destroy them. This felt like the opening of Raw.

Jericho begs Mr. MITB and the US Champion the Miz to be on Team WWE. Edge is on the Miz’s other side eating a Slim Jim because Edge is awesome. Jericho says Miz doing this in LA could be bigger than Titanic or Avatar Miz doesn’t seem intersted.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Alicia is champion and the flavor of the month of the division. Melina has on a headdress that makes her look like a peacock. She looks….stupid. Melina takes forever taking off her furry boots before we’re finally ready to go. After they stare at each other for a good while Melina shoves her into the corner and then they stare at each other some more. The champion takes it to the mat with a headlock before Melina comes up with forearms. Off to a kind of Indian Deathlock with a curb stomp to Fox followed by a pair of knees to Fox’s ribs.

Some more forearms have Fox in trouble but Melina lands on her bad knee which cost her eight months off. The knee is good enough for Melina to superkick Fox, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Fox goes after the arm because she’s not that bright. Melina realizes how stupid this is and makes her comeback with a kick to the ribs. A LOUD scream sets up a kick to the back and kind of a Diamond Cutter faceplant for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Both girls looked great but my dear merciful goodness Fox was embarrassing out there. When Jerry Lawler is making fun of you for having a lack of psychology, it’s a bad sign for your match. The Divas division hit a black hole after Trish and Lita left and this was a great example of how bad it was getting.

Post match Josh Matthews goes in to talk to Melina but here’s Laycool to interrupt. They’re the co-women’s champions here after literally tearing the belt in two. They try to take a picture with Melina but she kicks them both in the ribs. Layla trips Melina up though, allowing Michelle to clearly not make contact on a big boot. Fox tries to join in but gets beaten down as well. The titles would be unified next month.

Trace Adkins, Marlon Wayans and Michael Clarke Duncan are here.

We recap Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society. Mysterio had won a match against Punk, forcing him to shave his head. Punk wore a mask to hide it but Big Show ripped it off to humiliate him. Punk’s Society (Luke Gallows, Joey Mercury and Serena) got together and broke Big Show’s hand in a segment much funnier than it should have been due to Big Show’s face while being choked out.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.

Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.

The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Kane is standing by Undertaker’s casket and talks about getting revenge on Rey Mysterio for attacking Undertaker. Raw World Champion Sheamus comes in and proposes an alliance but Kane wants no part of it. Kane says Sheamus has guts and they’ll be on the floor if he interrupts Kane again. Sheamus is still a heel here and is actually pretty awesome.

Speaking of awesome, here’s Miz to answer Jericho and Edge’s offer from earlier. Miz doesn’t care if the fans want him on the team or not because he’s the missing link in the WWE chain. Earlier today Cena admitted he was wrong about Miz and brags about Bret Hart begging him to be on the team on Raw.

Jericho gave Miz a Fozzy CD but Miz threw it away. Miz’s former partner John Morrison admitted Miz was the HBK of the team, Edge gave him Slim Jims and Truth wrote him a rap. Miz is the future and brags about how much bigger he is than everything else. He actually agrees to be on the team tonight but the fans aren’t allowed to do his catchphrase with him. Cole loses his mind over Miz’s announcement.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus. There isn’t much to say here as Orton won a three way over Edge and Jericho on Raw to earn the shot. Sheamus won the title at Fatal Fourway with the unintentional assistance of Nexus. Sheamus has been hurting a lot of people lately and he claims Orton is the next victim.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging if that somehow wasn’t clear. This is during Orton’s bare arms phase which was always a strange look. Cole lets us know that if anyone interferes on Sheamus’ behalf, they’re suspended. If Orton loses, he gets no rematch. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and shouts in his face. It works so well that he does it again, earning him right hands to the face. Orton stomps Sheamus down into the corner and hits a hard clothesline to put him down again.

Orton drops him with another clothesline and a third to send the champion to the floor. The fourth straight clothesline sends Sheamus into the crowd but Orton has to go back inside before the ten count. Back in and Orton hits the circle stomp for two and a catapult into the bottom rope sends Sheamus outside again. The champion FINALLY gets a breather by sending Orton shoulder first into the steps. They’re doing the methodical build here which implies they have a lot of time.

Sheamus takes over with the power brawling via a knee to the ribs and a reverse chinlock. Back up and Orton counters a suplex but the Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Sheamus rams Orton’s back into the barricade and the look on Orton’s face is great. Back in and a hard ax handle to the head gets two. This is surprisingly good stuff so far which leaves me with little to talk about.

Sheamus grabs something resembling a cross face chicken wing as is the case with most guys who come out of FCW. That’s one of the problems with one training area: you get a lot of the same spots from guys. Orton comes back with kicks to the ribs but another ax handle to the face takes him down. Back to the chicken wing and Sheamus channels his inner Jericho, telling the referee to ask him. Back up and Orton suplexes Sheamus down but can’t follow up.

They slug it out with Orton taking over. The fans are WAY into Randy here. A bad powerslam puts Sheamus down which Cole calls “A malignant growth of momentum.” Lay off the JR metaphors dude. A superplex gets two for Randy but he walks into the Irish Curse (note that at this point, the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) was called the Irish Curse. I’m using the more well known move: the Rock Bottom backbreaker) for two.

The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus falls to the floor, only to be caught in the Elevated DDT as he comes back inside. The RKO is shoved off for two but Orton escapes the Irish Curse. Brogue Kick is only good for two which is a very rare sight to see. What isn’t a rare sight tonight is a bad finish, much like here as Sheamus gets himself disqualified for a chair shot.

Rating: B-. Bad finish to a good match here. Sheamus is getting better and better which makes you wonder why they book him so badly in present times. The guy is clearly talented but he hasn’t had to really work hard to beat a guy in months. This was a good match though and they clearly have chemistry together.

Post match Orton snaps and kicks Sheamus low before RKOing him onto the announce table. The fans want Miz but get a trailer for John Cena’s new movie instead.

We recap Kane vs. Mysterio. Kane won MITB and cashed in the same night to win the Smackdown Title over Rey. This was at the same time that someone had attacked Undertaker and left him in a “vegetative state” because we can’t say coma in WWE. Kane swore to find who did it but Mysterio accused Kane of doing it himself. Tonight is the rematch and somehow a way for Kane to prove his innocence.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane brings out a casket and I think you know where this is going. Kane hits a quick slam to start but Rey avoids an elbow drop. Rey tries to fire off some offense but Kane easily throws him around. The 619 is easily countered and Rey is sent to the floor. He slides back in and hits a quick baseball slide to get an advantage. Back in and Kane punches him off the top rope before ramming Rey back first into the post over and over.

Kane drops him ribs first over the top rope and slaps on a bearhug to keep things slow. Rey forearms out and dropkicks Kane in the chest, only to have Kane clothesline him down on a 619 attempt. Mysterio is sent chest first to the floor and kicked off a springboard to the floor. Kane follows him out but gets caught in a drop toehold into the barricade. Back in and a springboard headbutt to the chest gets two on Kane but he backbreakers Rey down again.

There’s a nice story going here of Rey speeding things up but Kane easily stopping him with power stuff. Power vs. speed is going to work almost every time and it helps that both guys are very talented. Kane bends Rey’s back over his knee before getting two off a side slam. Mysterio manages to break up the top rope clothesline but a rana attempt is easily blocked.

Now the clothesline misses and Mysterio counters another backbreaker into a tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT (here’s a good example of why Matt Striker is annoying. He calls it a Slop Drop, which is another name for a reverse DDT, but come on: does ANYONE think of the Godwinns when they see that move? Is there some Godwinn fan base out there that he’s trying to appeal to? It comes off like him trying to sound smart without adding anything at all). The seated senton puts Kane down and a spinning DDT gets two more.

A hard kick to the face gets the same but Mysterio dives into an uppercut. Kane opens up the casket to show that it’s empty but Rey sends Kane into the ropes. The 619 is caught and Rey is thrown into the casket but he kicks out of danger. Now the 619 connects but Kane gets the feet up on the springboard splash. Rey stops in mid jump though and gets two off a rollup, only to be chokeslammed to death for the pin.

Rating: C. This was about as good as this match could be. At the end of the day, it’s almost impossible to buy Mysterio as a physical threat to a guy the size of Kane. Yeah something like the 619 could stun him but it’s hard to believe anything but that or a rollup is going to get more than a one count. That’s not to say either guy is bad, but it’s the problem with a guy Mysterio’s size.

Post match Kane wants to make Rey pay for what he did to Undertaker. He promises to make Mysterio hurt for eternity and lays him out with two chokeslams and a tombstone. Kane goes to the casket and yep Undertaker is inside. HOW DID HE DO THAT I ASK YOU!!! Taker asks the half dead Rey what happened but Rey says no. The brothers go at it and Kane beats Taker down, I guess turning heel again and shocking no one. The idea is that Taker is still banged up and doesn’t have his full powers back yet.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Nexus vs. Team WWE. I think I’ve covered this well enough but it’s the first season of NXT coming to the main roster to try to take over the company. Over the last few months they’ve attacked various people and tonight it’s about revenge. Great Khali was originally on the team but was taken out by Nexus, leaving Team WWE with just six guys. Team WWE (also called Cena’s Army) is having a lot of problems with Jericho and Edge quitting over Cena’s leadership, only to come back later.

Nexus vs. Team WWE

Nexus: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield

Team WWE: John Cena, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, R-Truth, John Morrison, ???

You should know most of the Nexus, though Sheffield later changed his name to Ryback. As for Team WWE, Miz isn’t the last man. He comes out but Cena stops him, because it needed to be someone who made his decision earlier. Instead it’s……DANIEL BRYAN! This requires a backstory. The night Nexus debuted, Bryan was a member of the team. However he got fired for choking ring announcer Justin Roberts with a necktie as it wasn’t PG. Tonight is Bryan’s return and he wasn’t a surprise at all. See, WWE.com actually spoiled the return by mistake, ruining it for anyone who saw the website before the match.

It’s a huge brawl to start and Cole RIPS into Bryan for the sake of Miz. Bryan starts with Young and a quick LeBell (YES) Lock makes it 7-6 in less than 45 seconds. Justin Gabriel is in next and gets to fight Chris Jericho for his troubles. Some kicks to the ribs allow for the tag to Truth as things speed up. A suplex into a Stunner is good for two but Gabriel comes back with a spin kick to the face. Off to Tarver who was about as worthless as you could ask for a man to be.

Tarver charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Morrison to clean house with some dropkicks. The Fying Chuck (Disaster Kick) sets up Starship Pain (split legged twisting moonsault) for the second elimination. The remaining five members of Nexus hit the floor for a meeting before everything falls apart. Sheffield gets the nod and easily throws Morrison around. A big powerslam puts Morrison down and some snap suplexes work on his back even more. Morrison tries a comeback but Gabriel kicks him in the back of the head, allowing Sheffield to hit a big clothesline for the elimination.

Truth comes in and another clothesline ties the match up maybe twenty seconds later. Jericho comes in but gets sent into the buckle, allowing for the tag off to Barrett. Otunga is in a few seconds later, before he got good in the ring. Now let that one sink in for a minute. Anyway back to Barrett to crank on his NXT mentor’s arms but Jericho gets a boot up in the corner. A clothesline puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to Slater and Hart.

Old Man Bret pounds away on Heath for a few moments and doesn’t look half bad doing it. It doesn’t have the same snap that it used to but Bret’s offense still looks good. He puts on the Sharpshooter but Wade slides in a chair. Bret lets go of the hold and cracks Sheffield over the back in self defense, drawing a DQ. There really wasn’t another way to get rid of him due to an inability to take bumps. Sheffield staggers to his feet and walks into a Codebreaker from Jericho followed by a spear from Edge to tie us up.

To recap it’s Cena, Jericho, Edge and Bryan vs. Gabriel, Barrett, Otunga, Slater. On paper, this should be pure domination. Gabriel is in to face Edge but after scoring some kicks to the chest, Justin walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. A big spin kick puts Edge down and it’s off to Slater, whose shorter hair makes him look like an even bigger tool than he does today. Slater pulls Edge into the corner for the tag off to Barrett who hooks the chinlock. Edge quickly fights up and scores with a spinwheel kick but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker.

Back to Otunga who is almost booed out of the building. A standing spinebuster is easily countered into Edge’s Impaler and there’s the tag off to Jericho. Has Cena even been in yet? The running bulldog sets up the Lionsault and the Walls are good for the submission from Otunga. Jericho immediately knocks Slater off the apron and into the announce table to take him down. Back in and the top rope back elbow has Heath reeling but Jericho almost runs into Cena, allowing Slater to hit his running sleeper drop to pin Chris.

Edge comes in to yell at Cena but Slater rams him into John for a rollup pin thirty seconds later. Edge lays out Cena and Jericho adds a few kicks to the ribs of his own. So we have Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Gabriel/Barrett with Cena getting caught in the Nexus corner. Barrett comes in to pepper Cena with rights and lefts before it’s off to Justin to crank on the arm. Cena tries to fight back but walks into a side slam from Barrett for no cover. John comes back with a quick fisherman’s suplex but Slater breaks up the hot tag attempt.

Cena hits a hard clothesline to put Slater down and dives for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a quick German suplex on Slater as Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation, which means absolutely nothing to most WWE fans. Bryan backflips over Slater in the corner and hits the running clothesline before sending him to the floor for the FLYING HAIRLESS ANIMAL! Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and counters a rollup into the LeBell Lock to get us down to two on two.

Bryan looks at Nexus but here’s Miz to blast him in the back with the MITB case, giving Barrett an easy pin. Gabriel hits a hard right hand in the corner to put Cena down but Cena comes back with his finishing sequence to take Gabriel down. He loads up the AA but Barrett makes a blind tag and breaks it up with a shot to the head.

Nexus stomps away on Cena in the corner and a big boot from Wade sends him to the floor. Gabriel and Barrett peel back the mats at ringside and a DDT on the concrete knocks Cena out cold. Back in and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Cena to score a quick pin. Barrett comes in and gets caught in the STF out of nowhere for the final elimination 20 seconds later.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and never dragged, but the ending doesn’t hold up when you take it out of the moment. Now one thing that does need to be kept in mind is Cena wasn’t in the match until over twenty minutes after the start so he was hardly banged up until the very end. That DDT on the concrete is a bit too much to take though, as Cena goes from out cold to fine in less than a minute. I can’t quite buy that.

This also brings up to the problem with Nexus: they never really won anything. At the end of the day, Barrett was the only one to have any success for a long time and to this day he’s one of two of the seven here to do much of anything. You have Ryback doing pretty well, but the rest are all midcard to lower card guys who haven’t accomplished much. As of August 2013, Tarver is gone, Otunga and Young are lucky to have jobs, Slater is a comedy jobber and Gabriel is a Superstars mainstay. That’s what killed Nexus: at the end of the day, they were a bunch of jobbers who swarmed big names and nothing more.

Overall Rating: D. This is a pretty terrible show with only two matches being decent at all. The main event is pretty good but it’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. Nexus fizzled out so badly that their existence is really just a big footnote anymore. Bryan wound up being the big star out of all of them and he was literally on the team for one night only. Nexus would go on to do nothing but annoy fans over the next few months, even with new members and Punk as a leader. The show isn’t worth seeing and thankfully things would pick up next year.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Melina vs. Alicia Fox

Original: D

Redo: D-

Straight Edge Society vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team WWE vs. Nexus

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D

My goodness what was I thinking?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/13/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2010-a-one-match-show-almost-literally/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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