Money in the Bank 2015
Date: June 14, 2015
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s already time to crown a new Mr. Money in the Bank, just two and a half months after Seth Rollins cashed in during the main event of Wrestlemania XXXI. In addition to the ladder match, the main event is…..another ladder match! Seth Rollins will defend his WWE World Title against Dean Ambrose after saying he doesn’t need the Authority’s help. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: King Barrett vs. R-Truth

Before the match, Truth says dressing up is fun and he’s going to become King What’s Up. Barrett comes out with a new silver outfit which he says was tailor made in London. Truth starts fast with a headscissors before sending the King to the floor as we take a quick break. Back with a boot to the face putting Truth down as JBL name drops all the famous British women that have been trying to get together with Barrett.

Cole: “R-Truth has every bit as much right to call himself King as Barrett.” No Cole, he doesn’t. Truth jumps over him in the corner but takes a kick to the ribs for two. Back up and the Winds of Change is countered into a crucifix for the pin at 5:49. Cole treats this as a huge deal because he has the memory of a drunken elephant.

Rating: D+. Just a Raw match here with Barrett losing again. I don’t know if this makes Truth the King, but why not at this point? Barrett needs to get far, far away from WWE because it seems that he tortured and murdered Stephanie’s pet Feline Animal Champion (pick a hashtag for it) who was destined to revolutionize our industry one day with groundbreaking forms of entertainment at a WWE Pay Per View Event which everyone would be talking about on social media, thereby earning WWE a very prestigious award due to Stephanie’s leadership. How else can you explain the way he loses so much?

Truth gets the crown but throws it at Barrett and leaves.

As expected, this show is dedicated to Dusty Rhodes. We also get a ten bell salute with the roster on stage, complete with Dusty’s theme song playing as everyone claps along. Dusty deserves this and so much more.

The opening video focuses on how there can only be one, meaning a briefcase holder and champion. Wouldn’t that be two? Also, I’m sure that theme is in no way connected to last night’s UFC 188 theme of “there can only be one.” There’s actually no sarcasm there. It really is likely just a coincidence.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns vs. Neville vs. Sheamus vs. Kane vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Money in the Bank. Kofi is one third of the Tag Team Champions. Everyone brawls to start and Kofi goes for the ladder but everyone stops to look at him in a funny spot. We get the rapid fire climbs with almost everyone getting a hand on the case until almost everyone is knocked down. Kane stops Sheamus from climbing but eats the running DDT from Ziggler.

It’s Sheamus back up first and cleaning house with ladder shots on the floor but having to run back inside to shove Kofi off a ladder. Neville comes back in but takes Trouble in Paradise, followed by Sheamus taking the same. Kofi’s next climb is broken up by Neville and Reigns takes Kingston down as well. With right hands not working, Reigns blasts Neville in the face with the ladder but has to deal with Kofi.

Reigns powerbombs Kofi onto a ladder bridged over the bottom rope and then powerbombs Neville onto Kingston for a big pileup. Kane is back up to stop Roman but Orton remembers that he’s in this match and pulls Kane down by the business pants, followed by an RKO. The second RKO puts Kingston down but Neville springboards over Randy onto the ladder, only to get pulled down into RKO #3. Sheamus can’t get over Orton to grab the briefcase either and a backbreaker puts him down.

That earns Orton a Brogue Kick but Ziggler (where has he been?) runs up the ladder for a save. Ziggler and Sheamus slug it out on top of the ladder with Sheamus teasing White Noise from way up there, only to have Ziggler counter into a sleeper. That changes into a Zig Zag for a massive crash. The Red Arrow drills Sheamus but Neville comes up holding his hand or wrist. He’s fine enough to knock Ziggler off the top of the ladder but Kane pulls Neville’s leg to break it up.

Kane hits Neville and Ziggler with the ladder and throws everything outside, only to turn around into a Superman Punch. Reigns, ever the genius, dives onto the pile instead of climbing a ladder. Cue Big E. and Xavier Woods because this match needs more people. They get Kofi most of the way up but Reigns makes a save and powerbombs Kofi over the top and onto everyone at once.

Orton comes back in and takes a spear, leaving Reigns all alone. He goes up but we’ve got Wyatt! Bray lays out Reigns with Sister Abigail (remember that Reigns cost Wyatt a match against Ambrose a few weeks back) and leaves, allowing Sheamus to climb up the ladder but Neville is there for the save. Sheamus rips at his face and shoves Neville down to win the briefcase at 20:33.

Rating: B-. This was one of the more entertaining Money in the Banks in a few years, but the standard problems hurt it. At the end of the day, this needs to have five or six people instead of seven. The extra people makes this a rotating triple threat with guys like Orton and Ziggler just laying around for long stretches and some, mainly Ziggler, just being there to fill in a spot instead of really adding anything. Fun stuff, but they need to cut the roster down.

Paige talks about the Bellas dominating the Divas division for years and how they do it all for themselves. Tonight Paige is going to change all that and she’s going to do it for Dusty.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Paige

Nikki is defending. Paige is ready to go but Nikki wants to do jumping jacks. That’s fine with Paige as she takes it to the floor and slams Nikki down, only to get dropped face first onto the barricade. Nikki takes it back inside for some pushups as the rest of the Divas are watching in the back. Paige comes back with a knee to the jaw for two but eats a slingshot suplex. JBL calls this creative but thankfully credits it to Tully Blanchard.

We hit the bodyscissors and a chinlock on Paige for a bit before she kicks Nikki in the face. Why make things more complicated than they need to be? Something like PTO (minus pulling on Nikki’s arms) has Nikki in trouble but she grabs the ropes. Because no one was pulling on her arms you see. An attempt at the actual PTO is kicked away and Nikki hits her spinning kick out of the corner to the…..side?

The Rack Attack is countered into the Rampaige for two because All Hail The Bellas. They fight to the corner and fall outside for some Twin Magic, but Paige reverses Brie’s small package for the pin. They don’t even bother ringing the bell though as Brie rips the stuffing out of her top, allowing Nikki to come back in with the forearm and Rack Attack for the pin to retain at 11:17. JBL wants to know how that’s not a DQ (fair question) and points out that Paige has alienated all the other Divas so no one wants to help her.

Rating: C+. Annoying Bella finish aside, this was one of the better Divas matches in a long time, and one of the reasons is the time. That was the longest Divas/Women’s Title match on pay per view since 2006 and only the second female singles match to get over ten minutes in that time span. However, I’m beyond tired of Nikki keeping the title as they try everything they can to make us accept the Bellas as top stars on Lita and Trish’s levels. Either that or they’re making us wait until Nikki is the longest reigning Divas Champion ever so we forget about AJ.

We recap Ryback vs. Big Show, but here’s Miz with something to say. He sucks up to his home state fans but reminds them that they don’t count if they live in Los Angeles or New York. His team is working on giving us the Intercontinental Title feud that we deserve, but tonight he’s creating an audio visual masterpiece.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Ryback

Miz is on commentary and Ryback is defending. Ryback hits a spinebuster and Meathook in the first 20 seconds but Shell Shock is broken up. That’s fine with Ryback who knocks Show over the top rope but stops to beat up Miz. Back inside and Big Show gets in a shot to the ribs to slow things down. Ryback throws on an armbar of all things before nailing a suplex. The Meathook is countered into a chokeslam for two and the KO Punch knocks Ryback to the floor. Show goes to get him but Miz attacks with a microphone for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. Not bad here and now they can go to the triple threat that they clearly wanted to do all along and didn’t do here for reasons I don’t quite understand. Miz interfering and ending the match makes sense and hopefully leads to Miz rising up the card a bit more. I’ve always (well almost always) liked the guy and he’d be great as a shorter form Honky Tonk Man: he gets a title from more deserving people and brags about how awesome he is.

We recap Owens vs. Cena. Owens beat Cena two weeks ago in his WWE in ring debut and talked about how this made him a better wrestler than Cena. John countered by saying he was still a better man because he fights for the right causes. Tonight is the rematch for bragging rights.

Kevin Owens vs. John Cena

Owens’ NXT and Cena’s US Titles aren’t on the line. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they’re trying to make this feel as big as they can. A wristlock earns Cena a right hand to the face but Cena blasts him with the big clothesline. The fans are WAY into this and it’s really helping things out. Owens dropkicks him down and hooks a chinlock before busts out Cena’s finishing sequence, including the Shuffle.

Cena escapes the AA (that’s a weird one to type) and puts on the STF. That goes as far as the first STF is going to go so Cena busts out a reverse suplex for two. A Codebreaker of all things staggers Cena but Owens has to escape an AA of his own and hits a release German suplex, followed by the Cannonball for two more. The big man goes up top for a Swanton (but he’s big! I thought big guys couldn’t wrestle a fast paced style.) but Cena gets the knees up. Again, shouldn’t that hurt his knees?

The AA gets two (why is Cena even surprised at this point?) and Cena spends way too much time arguing with the referee. Cena takes him to the corner for a super AA but gets countered into an electric chair, which Owens spins into a Batista Bomb for a very close two. The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana but Owens nails him with a superkick for an even closer near fall, causing Owens to headbutt the mat in frustration. There’s a tornado DDT for two for Cena as frustration is really setting in.

Cena misses the top rope Fameasser and eats the package slam for two. Owens keeps things even by missing the springboard moonsault and another AA gets another two count. They head up top again with Cena’s superplex being countered into the swinging fisherman’s superplex for an even closer fall.

With nothing else working, Cena slaps on the STF but Owens gets the ropes again. In a very unique move, Cena tries a sunset flip but can’t get all the way over, so he pulls up and flips Owens down into a sunset bomb for two more. The Pop Up Powerbomb out of nowhere gets another near fall and both guys are spent. Back up again and the springboard Stunner sets up the third AA for the pin at 19:19.

Rating: A+. Yep. This was one of the best matches they’ve had in a long time and these two were just trading bombs for nearly 20 minutes. Cena respected Owens the entire way and could barely hang in there with him. This is one of those matches where Owens doesn’t lose a thing by getting pinned so everyone comes out looking great.

Post match Cena offers a handshake to a real champion but gets kicked in the ribs and tastes the first apron bomb in WWE. Owens walks off with the US Title but throws it down because “The real champ is here!” and laughs like a villain. He calls for a stretcher which is probably match #3 for them. Cena limps off, not being able to put much weight on the knee.

Ambrose talks about getting ripped off by Rollins and Kane last year at this very event but he knows he’s earned this title. It was about respect last month but now it’s about a payday. Of note here: Ambrose called Rollins an errand boy, which was an old Dusty insult.

We get a video dedication to Dusty Rhodes. This felt like something very special, just as it should have.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Prime Time Players

Xavier/Big E. are defending for New Day here and Kofi is off recovering from the ladder match. Woods refers to Kofi not winning as a travesty and Big E. rips on Ohio State for their NCAA sanctions a few years ago. However, Kofi needs some power of positivity right now, so the Clap Nation needs to give him the clap therapy that he needs. Woods tells Columbus that they really suck but Big E. says nothing will deter them. Xavier looked like he was about to explode.

Darren flips out of a Woods wristlock to start but it’s quickly off to Big E. to slam Young down. A double splash gets two on Darren and Big E. puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with New Day Rocks slaps to the ribs. There’s a belly to belly for two before it’s off to Woods for a cobra clutch. Darren’s sunset flip to Woods isn’t quite as good as Cena’s was earlier and it’s a blind tag to bring in Big E. for the save. Big E. comes in but goes into the post, finally allowing for the hot tag to Titus to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Clash of the Titus is enough to pin Woods at 5:48 to give us new champions.

Rating: C-. This was in a very tough spot on the card as they were coming after the Owens vs. Cena classic and the Dusty video, but at least we saw a finish that made sense: New Day was down a man and finally in a fair match and lost the belts as a result. I don’t picture the Players as a long term team on top but it’s cool to see them get a run.

The pre-show panel does their thing.

We recap the ladder match. Reigns vs. Wyatt is already confirmed for Battleground.

We recap the World Title match. Ambrose pinned Rollins at Elimination Chamber but wound up winning by DQ, meaning it’s time for a ladder rematch.

Rollins walks past the Stooges in the back but runs into Kane. The big man says this is what he’s been waiting for since Wrestlemania and tonight the future is history. The Authority comes up and says a loss is all on Seth. HHH gives Rollins a pep talk and wants Rollins to show the fans why he chose Rollins to be the man. Show them all.

WWE World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Ladder match. Rollins is defending and comes out all alone. We start with some wrestling as Dean takes him down to the mat and works on the legs in a smart move. A kick to the back has Rollins crawling to the corner but he snaps Dean’s throat across the top. Dean is able to stop Seth from getting to the ladder and drops him with a big clothesline.

They head outside for the first time with Dean taking a slam onto the floor. We get the first ladder brought in (not exactly a dramatic introduction) but Seth springboards onto it and goes inside, only to have the suicide dive hit the steel. Both guys go for a climb but Dean is smart enough to ram Seth into the ladder to take over again. A butterfly suplex sends Rollins into the ladder in the corner and Dean goes up.

We get the spot that we’ve been waiting on all night as Dean does the Flip Flop and Fly before diving into the standing elbow drop. Lawler seemed genuinely happy to see that. Rollins is in trouble but blasts Dean in the knee to stop a climb. Dean’s knee gets crushed in the ladder as we get some rare psychology in one of these things. Seth slaps on the Figure Four around the post and Dean is in even more trouble as Rollins shouts that Dean can’t climb with one leg.

The champ follows it up with a regular Figure Four in the middle of the ring before tying Dean up in the Tree of Woe. You know that’s not all he’s doing as he cracks Dean in the knee with a chair. He adds a double stomp to Dean’s chest but Ambrose is still caught in the Tree of Woe. Somehow Dean is able to shove the ladder over and knock Seth down for a huge crash.

The rebound clothesline is countered with a ladder to the face though and both guys are down. Rollins goes to the top for some reason and gets a chair pelted at his head, followed by a clothesline to knock Seth back down to the mat. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor and everyone is down. It’s Rollins back in first and chucking a ladder at Dean, only to eat the rebound clothesline instead.

They fight into the crowd with Dean being knocked into a wall. Rollins heads back to ringside but can’t lift a ladder up, allowing Dean to charge back (while limping) and knock Seth down. The ladder is bridged between the ring and announcers’ table and Seth is quickly backdropped (mostly) through the ladder to leave Dean all alone in the ring. Dean is spent and takes a long time to set up the ladder, plus he only has one good leg. Rollins gets back up and tries a powerbomb, only to be hurricanranaed out to the floor.

They crash over the announcers’ table and Seth tries a Pedigree, only to be countered into Dirty Deeds (THUD). The table doesn’t break so the fans want one more time but Dean can’t get up. Eventually Ambrose does the slow climb but Rollins comes back in with a monitor to crush the knee one more time. The champ climbs but Dean grabs the leg, only to eat a Pedigree, allowing Rollins to…..not quite retain as Dean grabs the leg again. Ambrose pulls him down and sidesteps a charge to send Seth outside one more time.

Rollins pulls Dean out as well and sends him face first into the bridged ladder, following a running powerbomb against the barricade. That’s not enough as he does it again against the other barricade to knock Dean out. Seth still isn’t done as he piles a bunch of chairs onto a ladder for a running sitout powerbomb. Rollins makes sure to bury Dean under a bunch of metal objects but Ambrose gets up AGAIN. Both guys climb on the same side and they pull it down at the same time with Rollins coming up with it to retain at 35:53.

Rating: A-. I really liked the match for the most part but they got a bit ridiculous with Dean getting up over and over so many times. They nailed the drama part though with Rollins never being able to put Dean away until the very end. Very entertaining match here and hopefully the end to the feud.

HHH congratulates Rollins but Jojo comes up for an interview where Seth gets to say he told us so. He declares himself the greatest champion of all time as Dean looks defeated to really end the show after 11pm, which might be a first.

Overall Rating: B+. This followed the Money in the Bank formula with the ladder match headlining things and then two other big matches filling out the card. Unfortunately the supporting matches aren’t as good and held this back from being a great show. That being said, you had six matches and half ranged from good to great so it’s hard to say this wasn’t a very good show. WWE has found the pay per view groove again and haven’t had a bad one in a very, very long time.

Results

Sheamus b. Roman Reigns, Kane, Neville, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler and Randy Orton – Sheamus pulled down the briefcase

Nikki Bella b. Paige – Rack Attack

Big Show b. Ryback via DQ when Miz interfered

John Cena b. Kevin Owens – Attitude Adjustment

Prime Time Players b. New Day – Clash of the Titus

Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose – Rollins pulled down the title

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Delayed by a spoiler warning……..Sheamus.  Roman Reigns had it won but Bray Wyatt started his next feud by breaking it up.  Remember a few weeks back on Smackdown (yes, Smackdown) when Reigns Superman Punched Wyatt to cost him a match against Ambrose?  I doubt that’s the reason but it’s actually there.

We’re up to another show here and I’m not the most interested. However, this is more like the TLC and Extreme Rules shows: if you just let the gimmicks carry the show, everything should fall into place (and off the top of the ladders). Hopefully we get a cash in on the night of the show so we don’t have to have the briefcase carried around all year. Let’s get to it.

On the pre-show, I’ll go with Barrett over Truth. I know Truth has been doing some funny stuff lately, but I have to have faith in the wrestling world. I know they’ll likely job Barrett again and chuckle at the idea that people believed in him for the dozenth time, but I have to believe that it can happen just one time. I mean…..please?

Now for the matches that people actually care about, that might actually get more than five minutes, and won’t involve a bag of rubber spiders.

I’ll take Cena to win over Owens, but not by pin or submission. They seem to be taking care of Owens and the other rookies, so hopefully they just have him walk out or get disqualified this time. There’s nowhere near enough heat for this rematch to take place so soon and it’s really holding things back. This should have been at Summerslam to build up Owens even more and take away some of the awesome memories of the first match. Still though, this should be fun and something very interesting depending on the ending.

As weak as it is, I’ll take Reigns for the Money in the Bank briefcase. It’s such a simple idea that you would think they might mix things up, but there’s really no reason to have anyone but Reigns take it down. Kingston and New Day would be awesome for a moment before you remember they’re the Tag Team Champions. Neville isn’t ready. Orton doesn’t need it. Ziggler, Sheamus and Kane are Ziggler, Sheamus and Kane. Reigns is tied in and the logical move, which is why it probably doesn’t happen if WWE tries to get cute. I’ll go safe here though and hope that Reigns cashes in very soon.

I’ve already gone into the World Title scene but I think Rollins retains and brags about it tomorrow night on Raw, only to have Brock come back as the biggest monster face in the history of monster faces to chase the belt. I know a lot of people have been wanting to see Ambrose win the title and that’s still a possibility, but the Lesnar factor changes so many things.

You combine that with the possibilities of something interesting happening with a Shield reunion and there’s almost no way of telling where this goes. Well I mean between the two people who are possible winners so it’s really 50/50, but saying there’s no way of telling sounds better, despite it not really being that hard to tell. I’ll take Rollins retaining and Ambrose turning heel as a result, because why listen to the crowd cheering for someone they love when you can turn Reigns heel and let him build himself up for a year or so down the line.

New Day retains the belts. I’ve been chuckling at the Prime Time Players and Darren is actually showing some potential, but I don’t see them being the team to beat New Day for the titles. New Day is getting even stronger as kind of associates of the Authority, which is even further of a miracle than they were expecting.

Ryback keeps the Intercontinental Title. As easy as a Big Show joke would be here, let Ryback retain and build himself up a bit more with a Shell Shock on the giant. You remember that move. They did it on Raw because why save it for the pay per view when you can show 18 replays of it on Raw. Odds are Ryback moves on to feud with Miz after this, or maybe back to Wyatt, who beat him so recently.

Oh and Nikki retains as the march to 295 continues, meaning she can pass AJ Lee as the longest reigning Divas Champion ever so WWE can put her in montages with Trish and Lita, because it’s totally the same thing.

This is a show that is going to be based entirely on the strength of the ladder matches and little more. Cena vs. Owens is a big match, but it’s going to be dealing with the big expectations that the previous match built up. Other than that though, the Money in the Bank ladder match should be a big fun mess and Ambrose vs. Rollins could be great. The interesting thing is going to come the following night though as an angry Lesnar is going to be back to go a Rollins hunting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: June 11, 2015
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last show before we get to Money in the Bank, meaning it’s the last time we have to cram an entire pay per view build into two weeks for a very long time. The big story coming out of Monday is Ambrose using Instagram (just go with it) to warn Rollins that he was coming, only to lay Seth out again to end the show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Ambrose, wearing a ton of Mardi Gras beads, coming through the crowd to open things up. He holds up the title and says let the good times roll because he’s been having a good time on Bourbon Street. Ambrose takes us through the Instagram pictures from Monday, thankfully pointing out that the ticket wasn’t real and that Reigns just saved him a seat. After a clip of the main event from Raw, Ambrose promises to drop Seth on his head with Dirty Deeds and take the World Title for real this Sunday.

Cue Rollins who says Ambrose is just like all the other scum in this arena: not in his league. Rollins wants the title back and Dean drops it right in the middle of the ring. The champ picks it up but realizes it’s just a replica because the title is somewhere between here and New Orleans. Dean: “It’s been a blurry few days. It still feels like Tuesday to me.” Kane comes out and brings up Mercury and Noble beating Rollins on Monday when he was all alone. Tonight he gets to be alone all over again against Dolph Ziggler. As usual, Ambrose and Rollins have a great promo when people just leave them alone.

Ryback vs. Miz

Non-title. Miz bails to the floor to take off the sunglasses and has his sunset flip attempt countered by having his head slammed into the mat. A ridiculous 26 seconds vertical suplex sends Miz outside again but he throws Ryback over the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Ryback fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a backpack Stunner. A powerslam gets two for the champ but Miz kicks him in the head to set up the Figure Four.

That goes nowhere (just like always because it’s a horrible move for Miz to use) as Ryback powers out, only to take a short DDT for two more. The threat of a Meat Hook sends Miz to the floor but Ryback runs him down out there just as easily. Back in and Shell Shock is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for two and Miz is stunned. Ever the genius, Miz tries a Meat Hook of his own but takes the real thing, setting up Shell Shock to give the champion the pin at 7:44.

Rating: C. This was fine for what it was and served the purpose of giving Ryback a nice win. Miz is settling into this midcard role as he loses his matches but is able to talk himself right back into being hated all over again due to pure delusion. Ryback vs. Big Show isn’t going to be anything great but at least the Shell Shock at the end will be good. Assuming of course WWE doesn’t feel the need to feed someone else to Big Show for reasons I’ll never fathom.

Post match here’s Big Show who says he doesn’t impress easily with over twenty years of experience (not quite as he debuted in October 1995). The Shell Shock was fine on Monday but this Sunday ends with one of these right hands. He’s holding up his left hand but close enough. Ryback says he’ll have the fans in his corner on Sunday so bring it right now, little man. As expected, Show turns him down.

Tough Enough finalists, including former OVW TV Champion Michael Hayes (not that Michael Hayes. This one only has one leg).

Jack Swagger vs. King Barrett

R-Truth is on commentary before his pre-show match with Barrett on Sunday and has decided that he should be King after beating Barrett recently. He also thinks he’s in the ladder match on Sunday. Barrett stomps Jack down in the corner to start as Truth puts on the robe. The distraction breaks up the Bullhammer and Jack nails a big clothesline on the floor followed by a Vader Bomb for two. The Patriot Lock is broken up and the Bullhammer gives Barrett the pin at 2:23.

Truth has disappeared.

More Tough Enough finalists.

We recap the Bellas’ Twin Magic from a few weeks back and Paige being sick of the whole thing.

Alicia Fox yells at Paige and there’s going to be a match later. I really wish WWE would mix up this kind of thing. We’re long past the suspension of disbelief that a package on the Divas would air then there just happened to be a camera on Paige when Fox came up to challenge her. All you need is to say this happened earlier in the day.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Lana, who says she and Dolph read books together and talk about things. Rusev comes in again and says don’t ruin this. Ziggler has been with a bunch of other women but Rusev has only been with her. Lana says it’s over and leaves so Rusev scares Cole away.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and Seth is on his own. The champ takes it to the mat with a headlock but Ziggler counters into an armbar to send Seth to the ropes. Back to the headlock on Dolph for a bit before the threat of a superkick sends Rollins out to the floor. They’re still in first gear here as Rollins takes a breather. Back in and Dolph hammers away in the corner, only to get caught in an electric chair for two. The standard chinlock kills some time as the fans want Lana. Speak for yourselves. I don’t want her and Ziggler anywhere near each other.

Dolph fights up and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys outside, where Rollins catapults him over the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Ziggler slugging away until Rollins drops him with a Sling Blade for two. Well at least it wasn’t another chinlock. Ziggler comes back with a backdrop to put Rollins on the floor, followed by the running DDT for two. The Buckle Bomb is countered into a rollup for two and the Fameasser gets the same. Dolph keeps speeding things up and goes to the top for a high cross body but Rollins rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin at 13:53.

Rating: B-. Nice main event style match here with Rollins getting the kind of a win he should be getting. Ziggler doesn’t lose anything either and everyone comes out looking fine. It’s very nice to see them breaking from the same pattern that they’ve been having for months for Rollins as it was getting repetitive.

Remember the two times we’ve seen Tough Enough finalists already? Make it three.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Paige takes her down to start and cranks on a reverse chinlock for a bit before Fox takes her down and puts on a chinlock. They aren’t exactly dishing out the creativity. At least Fox adds in some knees to the head to mix things up. A big boot to the face gets two on Paige but she snaps Fox’s throat across the ropes. This is her house, which makes me wonder how much a Diva makes since Paige must have 40 houses around the country. The PTO makes Fox tap at 4:46.

Rating: D. They did a good enough job of making Paige look good going into Sunday but I don’t buy her as having a chance at taking the title because All Hail the Bellas. It didn’t help that the match was nearly half chinlock. You really shouldn’t need two of those in a match that doesn’t last five minutes.

Long recap of Owens vs. Cena to set up the rematch on Sunday. The first match was great and I really hope Owens just walks out on the second because he has nothing to gain.

The Prime Time Players say they’re like butter because they’re on a roll. Whole wheat and gluten free that is. They incorporate the clap into the Millions of Dollars dance and even Renee joins in.

Final batch of Tough Enough finalists, including the Big O.

Roman Reigns/Randy Orton/Neville vs. Sheamus/Kane/Kofi Kingston

Those are quite the interesting teams. Reigns decks Kofi to start before Neville comes in and eats a right hand to the face. Neville flips over Sheamus and tags in Orton, because we haven’t seen Orton vs. Sheamus enough lately. The good guy keeps control for a bit until a Kane distraction lets Sheamus nail a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to take over. Back from a break with Orton fighting out of Sheamus’ chinlock.

The lukewarm tag brings in Neville to clean house with his variety of kicks but Kane breaks up the Red Arrow. Kane comes back in for some weak stomping and a big side slam for two as this isn’t exactly inspiring stuff so far. Kofi comes back in to fire the New Day up again with Woods declaring him the greatest of all time. A dropkick gets two and Woods says he’s getting annihilated right now. Sheamus gets two of his own off the Irish Curse and it’s off to the chinlock.

Neville avoids a charge into the post though and it’s a hot tag to Reigns, who runs Kofi over in a hurry. The New Day is easily dispatched but Kane counters a Superman Punch with a chokeslam, which earns Kane an RKO, followed by a Brogue Kick, followed by a dropkick from Neville, followed by Trouble in Paradise. Reigns is back up though and the Superman Punch connects to Kofi, only to have the New Day come in for the DQ at 13:25.

Rating: C-. This was boring. That’s the best word I can come up with for it. We were sitting around and waiting on the big parade of finishers to close things out and it eventually came and went. It’s not a terrible match or even bad but I never came close to being interested in what was going on.

Reigns takes a Midnight Hour and it’s ladder time. Cue Dolph with a ladder of his own but Neville climbs the ladder and dives onto everyone who was nice enough to brawl right beneath him. Neville pulls down the briefcase to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Totally average show here as they talked up the pay per view a bit but didn’t do much to make me care about what I was seeing. Money in the Bank is a show that sells itself with the big ladder match and it gets very difficult to build towards it as the singles matches and tags don’t change anything. As for the rest, it was just a standard Smackdown: watchable wrestling, nothing important, two hours gone.

Results

Ryback b. Miz – Shell Shock

King Barrett b. Jack Swagger – Bullhammer

Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollins rolled through a cross body and held Ziggler’s trunks

Paige b. Alicia Fox – PTO

Roman Reigns/Randy Orton/Neville b. Sheamus/Kane/Kofi Kingston via DQ when New Day interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 8, 2015
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Money in the Bank and the ladder match is set with all seven of its competitors. As announced on WWE.com, six of the participants will be in singles matches tonight, including a rematch from last week with Orton vs. Sheamus. Hopefully we get more solid mic work from Ambrose and Rollins as well. Let’s get to it.

Before we get started, on a completely unrelated note: thanks for everything Unc. I’ll always remember you.

Here’s Cena, with a broken nose, to open things up. Cena talks about some of the biggest events in WWE: Hogan vs. Rock, the Streak and the Money in the Bank ladder match. That’s uh, quite the collection. Those in the ladder match are fighting for an opportunity on the same night two people will be fighting in the same ring with one getting an opportunity of his own.

Kevin Owens thinks Cena’s time is up and his time is now but this Sunday Cena will be fighting for everyone that believes in him as well as those people who think he sucks. This Sunday he proves that he is still the face that runs this place because he is John Cena. Cue Owens who says that Cena is just proving his point. Cena is delusional if he thinks he’s winning on Sunday or if the fans are interested in seeing an open challenge for the US Title.

People have been watching Cena come out to open Raw for ten years now and some people must be sick of it. Instead, let’s have an NXT Title Open Challenge instead. Cena loves the idea and says he accepts. Owens says no because Cena is already facing him on Sunday so no match tonight. They accuse each other of being delusional and Cena issues his own Open Challenge and looks right at Owens as he says come get some.

Owens has another idea: whoever comes down the ramp next gets to pick which title they want to fight for. Cue Neville, who says he would love to fight John Cena…..one day. Owens is a prize fighter, but Neville knows what it takes to hold that prize. Therefore, Neville will take that NXT Title shot right now.

NXT Title: Kevin Owens vs. Neville

Owens is defending of course and John Cena is making a rare appearance on commentary. The champ goes right to the floor but Neville follows him out for some kicks to the ribs. Back in and a nice running hurricanrana sends Owens back to the floor for the big moonsault dive. They get back in again and Owens just slugs Neville down and hits a wicked Cannonball for two.

We hit the chinlock and Cena gets in a great line by saying no one talks about the minor league home run champion because they’d rather talk about Babe Ruth. A backsplash gets two for Kevin and a belly to back gets the same as Cena is coming off as one of the most polished commentators I’ve ever heard. Back with Neville countering an AA into a DDT to get a breather.

The big Asai moonsault barely grazes Kevin’s arm (it wasn’t clear who screwed up) so Neville has to settle for a middle rope dropkick for two. Back up and Owens ducks a kick and grabs the arm, lifting Neville up into something like a brainbuster onto the knee. Owens doesn’t use that one often but it looked great. Neville comes back with the delayed German but Owens crotches him to break up the Red Arrow. The Pop Up Powerbomb retains the title at 14:00.

Rating: B. This was as good as you would have expected and I’m looking forward to seeing Cena and Owens tear the house down again on Sunday. Owens plays a great power brawler and we’ve been lacking a good powerbomb for a long time now. Fun match here and it’s awesome to see the NXT guys getting their shot on the main roster.

Video on Rollins vs. Neville at Elimination Chamber and the resulting aftermath that set up Sunday’s ladder match.

WWE praises itself for having a half billion social media followers because that means they’re awesome and TOTALLY EQUAL TO EVERY OTHER MAJOR ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY EVER.

Rollins comes up to the Authority and implies they’re all in trouble on Sunday but Stephanie brings up what Rollins said last week about not needing the two of them. They’ll be there on Sunday but not at ringside. However, tonight Seth can pick his own opponent.

We recap Paige getting screwed by Twin Magic last week and her ensuing promo ripping into the Bellas dominating the Divas division for way too long. She’s promised to change the division forever.

Nikki Bella says Paige is projecting her frustration onto the twins and is sure the Bellas have never held anyone back. Maybe this is Paige’s house, but it’s the Bellas’ world.

Summer Rae vs. Nikki Bella

Non-title. A quick rollup gets two for Nikki but it’s time for some pushups. Summer comes back with a cobra clutch for a bit before Nikki fights up and hits the Rack Attack for the pin at 2:19.

We recap Reigns having to win three times last week to retain his Money in the Bank spot.

Here’s Reigns with something to say. He talks about hating that briefcase for so long because of who it was attached to. Now it doesn’t sound so bad though because he’s going to pull it down and cash in against Dean Ambrose some day down the line. Cue Kane who says he’s in the ladder match on Sunday to protect the Authority’s interests. Reigns offers Kane a chance to come in right now for a demonstration in breaking jaws but here’s Dolph Ziggler to interrupt.

Kane isn’t getting in the ring right now because the Authority hasn’t pulled his strings. After taking forever to call Kane a tool, Ziggler says he’s going to win on Sunday. Kane reminds Dolph about the dangers of certain tools and reminds him that everyone is in singles matches against each other tonight. Well minus Neville of course. This brings out R-Truth for some reason but a confused Kane tells him that he isn’t in the match. R-Truth: “Are you sure?” Kane: “Yeah.” Truth: “My bad.” And he’s gone.

Kane tries to continue but gets cut off by New Day. They promise that Kofi will pull the briefcase down using the power of positivity, making all of them Mr. Money in the Bank because NEW DAY ROCKS! This brings out Sheamus, who laughs at the idea of anyone else winning this Sunday. He’ll be one Brogue Kick away from becoming champion all over again. Kane finally gets to introduce Orton, who comes out as scheduled. This was basically just a way to remind us of who is in on Sunday.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Rematch from last week where Sheamus was disqualified. Orton quickly takes it to the floor for some shots tot he ribs before hitting the Stomp back inside. Sheamus bails outside again and is whipped hard into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and a neck snap across the top rope gives Sheamus control so he slaps on an armbar. Quite the power brawler indeed. Orton fights back but gets knocked to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus driving a knee into the ribs and slapping on a chinlock to slow things down again. Sheamus slowly walks around so Orton slugs away and hits the t-bone suplex. The elevated DDT connects but both guys miss finishers. Instead it’s a clothesline to send Sheamus outside, only to have Sheamus throw him over the table. Just like last week, Sheamus busts out a chair but eats a right hand to the ribs. Orton throws the chair at Sheamus’ ribs and that’s a DQ at 13:13.

Rating: C-. Bleh. I still cannot find a way to care about these two having a match. They’re two of my favorites but they’re just not a pairing I want to see. It didn’t help that the ending was the same thing they did last week to cap off doing almost the entire same match from last week. Was there no one else you could put in there? Like, Ziggler vs. Orton perhaps?

Post match Orton stomps Sheamus’ head on the steps (insert your own Curb Stomp joke here) and hits an RKO.

The Stooges annoy Rollins as they ask to be in his corner on Sunday. They’re huge morons and he doesn’t need them on Sunday, so Jamie says screw you. They’re Shield 2.0 with Mercury as an upgrade over Reigns and Noble being better than Ambrose. Rollins is a son of a gun and would be nothing without the Authority. That’s enough to earn the Stooges a match against the champ tonight. Jamie and Rollins slap each other and Mercury has to break it up before threatening Rollins for later.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler

Neither guy gets an entrance and it’s Ziggler starting fast, only to be uppercut out of the air. With Lana looking on we hit the chinlock to slow the match down again. Kane slugs him down in the corner as the crowd gets even quieter with every Kane right hand. A side slam gets two and we stop to look at Lana again. Kane boots Dolph’s head off for two and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a bearhug and nailing a superkick to put both guys down. Lana applauds and here’s Rusev to distract her, causing Lana to fall off the ramp and hurt her ankle. The distraction lets Kane nail a chokeslam for the pin at 9:46.

Rating: D. I had forgotten how much I hated these singles matches leading up to a big multi-man match, even though it was driving me crazy just a few weeks back. It doesn’t help that it’s more of Rusev getting on my nerves with the whole broken man thing. At least he didn’t seem upset when he hurt Lana.

Lana gets her ankle checked and is prescribed ice.

It’s time for MizTV, starting with a clip of Ryback and Big Show getting into it last week. Naturally Ryback and Big Show are the guests tonight, starting with Ryback who interrupts Miz’s introduction. Miz lists off his resume and Ryback cuts him off again because he’s sick of hearing all these lines over and over again. They argue a bit until Big Show cuts them off as only he can.

Show talks about how he can take everything he wants anytime he wants so Ryback says come get this title. They stare each other down and Big Show yells at Miz, who jumps the giant. Miz is thrown down so Ryback Shell Shocks Show. Why they didn’t SAVE THAT FOR THE FREAKING MATCH is beyond me but then again Big Show and Kane are featured in big matches in 2015 so I shouldn’t be that surprised.

We recap the makings of the handicap match.

Luke Harper/Erick Rowan vs. Los Matadores

Rowan throws Diego around to start and brings in Harper to run over Fernando. Back to Rowan to knock Torito off the apron, meaning there’s no one for Fernando to tag. A 3D (The Way) ends Fernando at 2:15.

Harper gets a mic and says tick tock tick tock because the time to pay for your sins is coming. The judgment is waiting at your door. Rowan says it’s ok to be afraid because you should be.

Kane comes in to see Rollins and laughs about the Instagram photos Ambrose has been posting of himself with the title all around New Orleans. Yeah I’ve ignored these stupid things all night but they’re little more than WWE saying HEY! DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE A LOT OF FOLLOWES ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? BECAUSE WE TOTALLY DO! Kane threatens to cash in on Sunday and they bicker. Again.

More social media stats and another Ambrose picture. These are now being used to announce that Dean will be here tonight. Ignore that the ticket in the picture clearly says COMP.

Trailer for Ted 2.

Big E. vs. Titus O’Neil

Woods calls Big E. the Minister of Mass. E. gets a quick two off a belly to belly and hammers away at the bald head. An abdominal stretch lets Big E. slap Titus’ stomach for the NEW DAY ROCKS clap. Titus fights back with some chops in the corner and an old Pounce ala Monty Brown, only to have the partners get in a fight on the floor. That distraction lets Big E. hit the Big Ending for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D. This show has drained me of any interest in any more mini versions of matches I’m going to see on Sunday. Also, nice job of having the challenger lose to make sure I buy into his team having a chance going into their title match on Sunday. It’s already not a great match in the first place and this didn’t help.

Roman Reigns vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi’s wristlock doesn’t work very well and Reigns wristlocks him to the floor. The other New Day members offer a distraction to let Kofi take over but Reigns fights back again and sends Kofi outside one more time. The apron kick looks to set up Reigns’ big dive but he has to settle for a running clothesline off the steps to take out Woods. Kofi slides back in for a nice baseball slide and we take a break.

Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock so it’s right back to another chinlock. Kofi goes up for a nice top rope ax handle as Woods will not shut up (in a good way). Reigns makes his comeback with a bunch of clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. The SOS is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two more but he has to take out Woods and Big E. A rollup gets two for Kofi but he dives into the Superman Punch for the pin at 12:07.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would as Kofi is more than capable of making a match like this look good. Reigns fighting off the trio works fine as they’re not losing in a tag match so it’s no real loss. Fun match here, even though the ending wasn’t ever really in any doubt.

Reigns grabs a chair and Ambrose comes to sit down, carrying popcorn and a Pepsi.

Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury vs. Seth Rollins

Kane is out with the Stooges. Mercury spins out of a wristlock to start but Seth does the same thing and sends Joey into the mat. The Stooges take a breather on the floor but Kane offers a distraction to let them get in some double teaming. Ambrose pours popcorn on Seth’s head, allowing Joey to nail a nice dropkick for one, followed by an armdrag into an armbar. Seth throws him outside and laughs at Dean a bit before putting on a chinlock at 11:08pm.

Rollins misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Noble to clean house, completel with his little dance. The swinging neckbreaker gets two and the Stooges try the Rick Rude Wrestlemania V pin for a VERY close two, but Jamie eats a low superkick to change control again. Mercury gets buckle bombed into his partner and Seth loads up the Pedigree, only for Dean to get up and throw the title in. The distraction lets Joey get a rollup for the pin at 9:00. Yes, this match that started in the overrun got NINE MINUTES.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match was entertaining enough and I get the point but maybe they could have been done with this earlier if they hadn’t had to spend half an hour patting themselves on the back for their win. Not a bad match here but it just kept going when it could have been done in about half the time.

Dean hits Dirty Deeds to take the title back and climbs a ladder to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show wasn’t great but unlike the disaster of two weeks ago, there isn’t one (or two) major problems bringing it down. Instead this was like death by 1000 stab wounds as so much of the show was about the stupid Instagram/social media stats and most of the people in Money in the Bank having singles matches that mean nothing. That’s the big problem with matches like these: there’s nothing important and you know the ladder match is down to at most two people. Cut the thing down and make it more interesting instead of having this big of a mess. Not a good show this week but it did have some fun parts.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb

Nikki Bella b. Summer Rae – Rack Attack

Sheamus b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton threw a chair

Kane b. Dolph Ziggler – Chokeslam

Luke Harper/Erick Rowan b. Los Matadores – The Way to Fernando

Big E. b. Titus O’Neil – Big Ending

Roman Reigns b. Kofi Kingston – Superman Punch

Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury b. Seth Rollins – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: June 4, 2015
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

In something I could get used to, the big story tonight continues to be Kevin Owens, who will be issuing an NXT Title Open Challenge in the same vein as John Cena’s US Title Open Challenges. Owens has only had one match on the main roster so far so it’s going to be interesting to see how they treat him here. Let’s get to it.

We open with stills of Sunday’s main event with Ambrose winning via DQ but leaving with the title anyway.

Here’s Rollins to get things going, of course without the title but carrying a chair. A year ago to the day, he took a chair to Ambrose and Reigns to dismantle the Shield. Rollins sits down in the chair and talks about being asked “why” so many times over the last year. Why did he do what he did and destroy what he created? From the day he arrived, he said his goal was to be the very best in this industry.

After all the time in the Shield, he got tired of sharing the glory with two chumps beneath him. That led him to the Authority, who groomed him to be the future of the WWE. Then he won the Money in the Bank ladder match all by himself. Around the time of the Royal Rumble, he had a vision to defeat Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns at the same time. To execute a plan like that took a genius (So people like Kane and Jack Swagger are geniuses?) because now the Beast is off licking his wounds and Reigns is living in Seth’s shadow.

Rollins stands here as the greatest champion of all time but with no title around his waist. That brings him to Dean Ambrose, who wants all of the fans to think that stealing a title makes you a champion. Well allegedly it made him the Intercontinental Champion so why not try it with the big belt too? Rollins can take care of Ambrose without any member of the Authority, including Stephanie or HHH. Cue Ambrose on the screen, standing under a ladder, to say Rollins either has a bad memory or is a liar.

The fans saw Ambrose pin him on Sunday and now he knows the Authority is going to send everyone that they can to keep this title from slipping through their fingers. At Elimination Chamber, Ambrose climbed to the top of the mountain and at Money in the Bank, he’ll climb to the top of the ladder and claim the WWE World Heavyweight Championship that rightfully belongs to him or he’ll die trying.

This right here was a great example of why the Authority really isn’t needed most of the time. Yeah they helped set up the story, but this was one of the better promos these two have ever had, which happens to come off the heels of another of their best promos ever last week. The Authority bogs so much stuff down with HHH taking twice as long as any human to speak and Stephanie has to get in her buzz words because saying “WWE World Heavyweight Championship” and “Money in the Bank pay per view” is how you sell a show instead of letting the wrestlers who hate each other talk the fans into the building.

Prime Time Players vs. Ascension vs. Lucha Dragons

#1 contenders match. Darren and Sin get things going with Cara being taken down to the mat but nipping up to his feet. Off to Kalisto who eats a clothesline for two as the fans are just silent here. Viktor tags himself in to stay on Kalisto as New Day is watching in the back. Kalisto kicks Konnor out to the floor and sends Viktor out to the floor as well, setting up a nice double suicide dive to get the fans into things a bit.

We take a break and come back with Ascension working over Kalisto, including Viktor dropping an elbow for two. Kalisto finally gets a boot up in the corner and takes Viktor down with a middle rope ankle scissors. Saxton: “Kalisto is like a real life Sonic the Hedgehog.” No Byron, he isn’t.

Ascension breaks up a hot tag attempt but Kalisto knees out of a delayed vertical suplex, allowing Titus to tag himself in and clean house. Everything breaks down with Titus kicking Konnor in the face and throwing Kalisto at him to put both guys on the floor. The pumphandle powerslam from Titus is enough to pin Viktor at 9:29.

Rating: C. Fun triple threat match here though the continued depush of Ascension makes my head hurt. They’re a good power team and we even got a nice little tease of that on Sunday, so it’s time for them to get pinned again here. To say they were in trouble coming out of the gates is an understatement, but WWE hasn’t done them any favors.

Renee Young asks New Day about their future now that they know their #1 contenders. Woods continues to be amazing with a line of “Renee, our future is as bright as a morning sun…….rising over a new day.” Their plan for the Prime Time Players: dispose of the Prime Time Players and their greed, clap and then watch Kofi Kingston win Money in the Bank. Kane comes in and makes Kofi vs. Neville for tonight.

Sonic auditions.

Ryback vs. Stardust

Non-title. Ryback throws him into the corner to start but runs into a boot to the face. A reverse DDT gets two for Stardust and a running knee to the face gets the same. Off to the chinlock for a bit before it’s the Meat Hook and Shell Shock to give Ryback the pin at 2:11. Nothing to see here.

We recap the Bellas using Twin Magic on Raw, which is still a horrible idea.

Renee Young brings Paige out for a chat. Paige says it feels like things are never going to change around here because the Twin Magic has been done for years. The Bellas come out here every week and talk about giving Divas a chance but they know it’s all about them and they make sure to hold the rest of the Divas back. Their lives are all about being celebrities but Paige’s life is consumed with what happens in that ring. She’ll never buy into the idea of if you can’t beat em, join em. Instead, it’s up to her to change the world she’s in. Good stuff here but it’s the same story AJ did before the Bellas took over the division.

Harper and Rowan say they’re different because they’re family.

Stills of Owens vs. Cena on Sunday.

Here’s Kevin Owens for the NXT Title Open Challenge. Before the match, Owens talks about everyone knowing him after what he did this past Sunday. He’s the man who defeated John Cena in his first match in WWE. However, Owens’ son is still a John Cena fan because he’s seven years old and doesn’t know any better. On Monday, Owens heard the emotion in Cena’s voice and learned something: John Cena is completely delusional.

Cena actually believes all the nonsense he spews out. Cena stood out here and said Owens isn’t a real man, so there is no way Kevin can let his son be influenced like this anymore. The fairy tales that Cena force feeds kids around the world have to stop and Owens is glad to be the one to step up and do just that at Money in the Bank. That brings him to tonight and the NXT Title Open Challenge starts right…..well he isn’t wearing a watch so just get out here.

NXT Title: Kevin Owens vs. Zack Ryder

We even get big match intros. Owens is all over him to start but a single forearm sends him out to the floor. Ryder is right back on him but Owens knocks Zack into the barricade. Back in and Ryder scores with a middle rope dropkick but the Pop Up Powerbomb ends this in 1:12.

Owens gives him the Cannonball and another powerbomb post match.

Sheamus enjoyed giving Orton a beating on Monday and he’s going to do it to everyone in the Money in the Bank ladder match in ten days before going on to become WWE Champion. Simple yet effective again.

Tough Enough videos.

Neville vs. Kofi Kingston

This has potential. Kofi kicks him down to start but Neville flips forward into the cross body out of the corner. Lawler: “Neville has so many moves that when I try to call his matches, I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles.” That’s Lawler’s one clever line all year. Kofi sends him to the floor for some cheap shots from the New Day and we take a break.

Back with Kofi getting two off a reverse suplex but Neville kicks him right back. A standing shooting star gets two on Kofi and Neville plants him with a tornado DDT. Big E. pulls Kofi away before the Red Arrow can launch, but Neville just dives on both of them with a big moonsault. Back in and Neville counters a rollup into one of his own for the surprise pin at 8:04.

Rating: C+. Neville continues to impress and it’s cool to see him fight off all three guys and pick up a win with something other than the Red Arrow. You don’t want to overuse the big spots and risk burning the fans out on them, because there comes a point where even Neville can’t top himself with the high spots.

It’s time for MizTV with special guest Lana, who has her own Titantron video. We look back at the breakup and Rusev being all devastated as a result. Lana says Rusev didn’t respect him so he doesn’t deserve her. This gets a standing ovation from Miz, who describes Lana as good. He calls it a good business decision, but Lana, with the accent melting word by word, says that it was purely personal. If Miz keeps suggesting otherwise, she’ll either leave or Miz will get slapped.

That brings out the second guest: Rusev, who slowly limps to the ring. Rusev is here as a broken man and blames it on his upbringing. He didn’t know what he had until it was gone and he knows Lana loves that song. Rusev asks for one more chance and would like her to be his crutch while he can’t walk. Lana tells him where he can stick his crutch so Rusev erupts all over again and calls her stupid. Cue Ziggler to get Lana out before things get bad. Rusev as the crushed ex-boyfriend is perhaps the worst usage of someone with potential that WWE has had in years and it’s just sad at this point.

Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus

This could be good. Sheamus goes right to the ribs to start and knees Reigns to the floor, only to eat a big clothesline. Sheamus keeps the power game going by driving him into the apron and throwing him over the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Sheamus driving knees into the ribs and slapping on a chinlock. The Regal Roll gets two but Roman fights out of the ten forearms. Roman misses the apron kick (has he ever done that before?) and Sheamus takes over again, only to miss a charge into the post.

Back up and Roman fires off some clotheslines in the middle of the ring and in the corner but the Samoan drop is countered. They head outside again and this time the apron kick connects with Sheamus standing on the floor. Back in and here are Kane and the Stooges for a distraction, setting up the Irish Curse for two. The Brogue Kick misses and Reigns hits the Superman Punch, only to have Kane come in for the DQ at 10:40.

Rating: B-. I liked this as much as I expected to with both guys hitting each other over and over until we got to the obvious ending. It’s getting really tiring to see Kane and the Stooges come in for the DQ or interference, especially when they barely have anything to do with the match in the first place. Fun power match here though.

Kane chokeslams Sheamus to shock the Stooges. He announces himself as the final entrant in the Money in the Bank ladder match and chokeslams Reigns to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was one of the more entertaining episodes they’ve had in a good while as they let the stories progress naturally instead of forcing everything in. The wrestling was decent enough and the two hours went by very quickly. I can live with Smackdown like this, especially with such a good opening promo instead of the Authority droning on and on.

Results

Prime Time Players b. Ascension and Lucha Dragons – Pumphandle powerslam to Viktor

Ryback b. Stardust – Shell Shock

Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder – Pop Up Powerbomb

Neville b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Roman Reigns b. Sheamus via DQ when Kane interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

And the card is STACKED.  This might be better than Payback.

* Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores
* Divas Title Match: Nikki Bella vs. Paige vs. Naomi
* Tag Team Title Match: New Day vs. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro (this may have to be changed due to Tyson Kidd’s injury)
* Chris Jericho vs. Neville
* Brock Lesnar vs. Kofi Kingston
* John Cena & Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane & King Barrett
* NXT Title Match: Champion Kevin Owens vs. Fin Balor

This should rock, though I wouldn’t be surprised if they changed Lesnar’s opponent to Jericho.

On top of that, how awesome is the Network?  WWE can just throw this kind of thing on there as a special with no clearance or anything like that.  They’re doing it because they can and we get a cool show.  That’s so awesome.

Oh boy it’s this show. I’ve been putting this off for as long as I can because this show drove me up the walls, down the walls, to the grocery store and then halfway to Oklahoma. It’s very rare to find a show with two different parts that get under my skin this badly but this show managed to pull it off. Let’s get to it.

I’m going to do this one a little bit differently as there are two major pieces I’ll be spending far more of my time on. Therefore, I’ll get those out of the way and then cover the rest of the show. You can probably guess what these two major segments were (hint: I wrote a column about one of them) so we’ll start with the one that went on longer: the Dean Ambrose arrest story.

The basic idea is simple: Ambrose has until the end of the show to sign the contract for the match with Rollins on Sunday (why the Authority didn’t say “you have four seconds to get out here and sign this starting now” isn’t clear) so the Authority ran some trickerations and had Dean arrested for punching an innocent cameraman. Later in the show, it was revealed that Rollins shoved the cameraman into Dean so he wouldn’t make it back to the show in time. Naturally, with the Authority celebrating at the end of the show, Dean came back (in a police van) and signed the contract just as the show ended (complete with overrun of course).

Now let’s stop for a minute and think about this. Monday Night Raw is a wrestling show. We have to accept that a lot of really, really questionable things happen, but WWE has built a universe where it’s plausible that these things could happen. In other words, fans are willing to suspend their disbelief to accept that we’re watching crazy people do crazy things because the show has made it possible for that to happen.

Look at it from a comic book perspective. I can believe that Superman can fly because he’s an alien under a yellow sun. Those are the rules that DC comics have established and as long as they play by those rules, I can go along with them. However, if one day Superman can suddenly turn people into chickens and the justification is “well he’s an alien and has powers”, it’s unacceptable because this comes out of left field and doesn’t gel with the story of the character.

This past Monday with Dean just happening to make it out of jail on time and just happening to be there at the very end of the show to sign the contract was WWE suddenly being able to turn people into chickens. There were WAY too many coincidences and perfect timing for me to accept that this was going to be the case. It didn’t help that they were basically saying “yeah you know he’s getting back and signing” and it was just a matter of time before the big evidence showed up to save Dean.

I said this in the review but it felt like the end of any given sitcom episode. Our hero is in big trouble for doing whatever and he can’t prove his innocence, but here’s some deus ex machina to save him and give us all a happy ending while the villains are left kicking and screaming and promising to get Ambrose next time Gadget, NEXT TIME!

The word to sum it up was staged. This felt like it was designed to be completely fake and set up the whole way through instead of trying to be realistic. Look at Lucha Underground for a counter example. They have some completely over the top stories (including a man who was the spirit of a dragon and a monster killing a wrestler) but they play it totally seriously and it never fails to work. This story felt like WWE was winking at the camera the entire time and making it as clear as they could that Ambrose was going to be there at the last second to save the day, making the entire three hour story a big waste of time.

That’s the other big deal for me: what did this whole thing change? Ambrose came into the show with a title shot and left with a title shot. All that happened in between was the Authority looks bad and Rollins doesn’t really do anything else. Instead of a serious promo exchange or making me want to see the match more, the show was a big stand alone story that changed nothing and got on my nerves. It’s bad writing and bad booking and something that really didn’t need to happen.

Now on to the other stupid idea of the night: Rusev turning into a big, emotional goon instead of the brute that he’s been for over a year now. I understand the idea that he would be upset over Lana leaving him for an American, but the reaction was all wrong. Rusev should have been stomping and raving and FIGHTING ZIGGLER but instead he was asking to hold Lana’s hand and talking about all the dreams they had in Bulgaria.

As I ranted about in the column I wrote (which I know you’ve all read of course), this was missing the point of the character. Rusev is a monster and they’re trying to give him emotions. It’s all wrong for him and doesn’t fit anything that they’ve set up over the past year plus for him. It goes back to the Superman example earlier: you can’t just throw in a polar opposite set of characteristics for someone without any sort of foundation for them. Rusev getting all emotional has no background, Lana or no Lana.

Oh and now Rusev is injured and could be out for more than a month, so the last thing people are going to remember from him is the big change scene with the song from the trailer from every bad romantic comedy ever. What a great followup to the four pay per view series with Cena. But hey, at least Rusev is a more three dimensional character, because a guy named the Bulgarian Brute was just dying for a soft side right?

As for the rest of the show, Ambrose pinned Rollins in a tag match, which should have ended the show and been the main focal point of their feud that night. I’ll stop myself there.

Rusev squashed R-Truth in 59 seconds. Again, I’ll stop myself there.

The other major story of the night was a trio of matches between the six participants in the Elimination Chamber match for the Intercontinental Title. In addition to Truth vs. Rusev, we had Ryback beating Barrett (shocking!) and Sheamus Brogue Kicking Ziggler. This is another example of tired booking ideas that need to be replaced. Only Sheamus vs. Ziggler broke four minutes, making these matches, which really change nothing for Sunday’s match, more like a waste of time than anything else. Consolidate these into a long six man instead of three singles or have a tag match or two three ways or ANYTHING but this boring idea.

The cast of Entourage was here to fill in time, including a segment where they mentioned Ronda Rousey in front of Stephanie. That’s something of note was well: notice that a lot of the bad writing and bad structuring take place when Stephanie is back full time. We had a bunch of bad filler segments and more of her talking with proper nouns (you don’t have to say the exact name of the title, wrestlers or pay per view every ten seconds Stephanie. We’re not going to care more or start Tweeting about it because WE’RE ALREADY WATCHING THE SHOW).

Neville beat Stardust (who had a pre match staredown with Stephen Amell of Arrow, allegedly setting up a showdown at Summerslam. Seriously. To his credit though, Amell is in great shape so it could be passable) and was beaten down by Bo Dallas post match. They’re still playing up the knee injury which is fine for a quick story.

Cena’s Open Challenge speech was talking about the fans who boo him and want someone to knock him down for good. Kevin Owens has his chance on Sunday but it’s not going to happen. As usual, this was Cena owning the fans as only he can and chuckling as they think they own him.

Zack Ryder answered the challenge and had a very fun four minute match (complete with Ryder missing a 450 of all things) before Cena pinned him. This was the right call as Ryder is a Long Island guy and this was the last show in Nassau Coliseum on Long Island, which was played up a lot during the match. As usual, this was the best part of the show as Cena continues to be amazing when they just let him go out there and do his thing. Post match Owens, now in more proper gear, laid Cena out again. They better not screw this up on Sunday, but I’m sure they will.

Tamina, the bodyguard for one of the challengers for the Divas Title on Sunday, pinned the other challenger for the Divas Title on Sunday. The stupidity was flowing through this entire show.

To cap it off, let’s throw all psychology out the window and have Kane (for no apparent reason) book New Day in a 3 on 11 handicap match, because the way to get heels booed is to put them against impossible odds. This lasted less than a minute before the big brawl.

Do I need to sum this one up for you?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 28, 2015
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

I’ve been saying this too often lately but it’s the go home show for a pay per view. The big stories going into this Sunday are the two Elimination Chamber matches as well as the World Title match between champion Seth Rollins and challenger Dean Ambrose. They haven’t really had time to put together a great story so I’m assuming tonight is going to have some hard selling. Or some lame matches that keep everything where it was coming out of Raw. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Dean Ambrose to recap the arrest angle from Raw that magically ended right before the show went off the air because that’s how wrestling works these days and the words “TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED!” are all four letters long now. Ambrose was sitting in his cell and thought he had one person to call: Roman Reigns. He asked Reigns to buy him some time so he could figure out a way out of the cell.

The help he needed came from WWE’s Youtube channel because it was clear that Rollins shoved the cameraman into him. That was more than enough to clear his name and since he’s been in a lot of metropolitan jails in this country, it only took some pictures and autographs to get a police escort to back to the arena on time. Tonight there’s a rematch of Raw’s tag match, but this Sunday there’s going to be a fight for the finest prize in this industry. Stupid story on Monday aside, this was a good promo that got to the point for Sunday.

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Lucha Dragons

The other four teams in the Chamber match are lumberjacks. Cara and Kidd get things going with Tyson bouncing off the ropes (upside down that is) to counter a wristlock into an armdrag to send Cara to the floor. Cesaro comes in off a blind tag for a European uppercut into a German suplex from his partner followed by a half crab to slow Sin down. That goes about as far as a half crab can go so it’s off to Kalisto, who is launched into the air for a hurricanrana, sending Cesaro outside.

Back in and Kalisto tries a springboard cross body, only to be caught in a vertical suplex. Cesaro doesn’t put him down though as he walks Kalisto around the ring, tags Kidd in and points to him for about ten seconds as Kidd goes up top for a cross body. The announcers completely undersell this freakish display of strength but it was amazing to see. Sin is quickly tagged in to throw Kidd outside for a but Los Matadores throw him back in without doing anything.

Tyson tries a monkey flip but Kalisto dives through Kidd’s legs, lands on his hands and backflips into a headscissors of his own. Dang this guy is good. We take a break and come back with Kalisto fighting out of Cesaro’s chinlock but being thrown to the floor. The Players don’t get in any cheap shots before throwing him back in for a double tag to Kidd and Cara. Tyson makes a blind tag and tosses Sin into the corner for the running European uppercuts. Cara comes back with the La Mistica mat slam for two and Kalisto’s corkscrew crossbody gets the same.

That’s enough flipping for Cesaro as he just muscles Kalisto over with something like a belly to belly, setting up Kidd’s springboard elbow for two more. Kalisto kicks Kidd in the head but Cesaro slides in with a headbutt for the save. That looked cool as he just slid in and let his head hit Kalisto.

Kidd reverses a hurricanrana into the Sharpshooter but Cara springboards in with a clothesline to break it up. Everything breaks down and Cesaro superkicks Kalisto, only to be backdropped onto a bunch of the lumberjacks. With his partner down, Kidd is distracted by Woods, setting up the Salida Del Sol to give Kalisto the pin at 13:19.

Rating: B+. I might be rating this a bit higher than some would but I had a blast watching this. Kalisto and Cara are so good as a high flying pair and maybe the best at that style since the Hardys. On the other hand you have Cesaro who is so freakishly strong it’s unreal. The only issue here were the lumberjacks as they didn’t really need to be there, but they hardly dragged the match down. Anyway this was a really, really fun match with both teams busting out some crazy spots. Check this out if you get the chance.

Rollins runs his mouth to Kane about Ambrose, prompting Noble to go into a story about his aunt hearing voices and being crazy, but her cobbler was good. The looks from everyone in the room are rather amusing. Kane is looking forward to having fun in the tag match tonight and promises a plan to make sure Rollins has nothing to worry about on Sunday.

R-Truth vs. King Barrett

Barrett kicks him right in the face to start and slugs Truth in the face for two. We’re already in the chinlock before Barrett’s kick to the ribs in the corner gets two more. Back up and Truth ducks the Bull Hammer and hits Little Jimmy for the completely clean pin at 2:26. Such is the life for someone like Barrett. I know the line is that no one remembers individual wins and losses (which I don’t agree with for the most part) but they certainly do remember loss after loss after loss after loss.

Sheamus comes out and Brogue Kicks both guys.

We recap Lana and Rusev’s big spat from Monday. The less said about this the better.

Lana seems sad about having to leave Rusev but she’s happier with Dolph. Rusev comes up and says he doesn’t need to throw another fit because he’s already had his way with Ziggler. Whatever Lana and Dolph do, it doesn’t bother him. If Ziggler has to suffer because of Lana, so be it. This was much better from Rusev as he was more condescending than pitiful.

Rusev vs. Ryback

Well, it’s a few months later but at least we get to see it. Ryback grabs a waistlock to start but Rusev counters into a headlock. The Bulgarian’s shoulders have no effect so Ryback lifts him up for a delayed vertical suplex for two. Ryback pounds on him with some forearms but a big clothesline changes control. Rusev slowly kicks Ryback around the ring but he gets distracted by a WE WANT LANA chant. There’s a decent story in there if they can find a better way of presenting it.

A backdrop sends Rusev to the floor (probably where he injured his leg) but he’s still able to hit the fallaway slam as we go to a break. Back with Rusev limping around before putting on a chinlock. They slug it out and Rusev hobbles from rope to rope. He can put very little weight on it and falls down when trying to slide out of a powerslam. Rusev posts him a few times and that’s a DQ at 11:56, which was probably going home quickly due to the injury.

Rating: C-. It’s hard to grade this one as the injury clearly changed where the match was going. The rumor is that if Rusev can’t go then he’ll be replaced by Bray Wyatt, which is probably the best possible option. The injury didn’t seem to be Ryback’s fault but it happened so fast that it was hard to tell. Not a bad power match until the injury but they didn’t have time to go very far with it.

Quick recap of Paige vs. Naomi.

Paige vs. Naomi

Naomi throws some leg kicks to start so Paige shoves her into the corner for forearms to the jaw. Some knees to the chest send Naomi to the floor, because THIS IS MY HOUSE! From the floor, Naomi sends the arm into the post and starts working over the arm in the corner. Ignore the fact that it’s not the arm she sent into the post but at least she’s trying. Paige comes back with some clotheslines and a kick to Tamina before catching a cross body in midair and countering it into the Rampaige for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the time didn’t let them go anywhere. That’s the problem with so many of the Divas’ stories: they’re supposed to tell full stories in about a third of the amount of time that their male counterparts receive. That being said, there’s only so much time you can give to them when the division’s top heel can’t remember right from left.

The Bellas come to the stage to pose.

Tough Enough package.

Michael Cole brings Kevin Owens to the ring for a chat. Owens cuts Cole off when he says that Kevin has been in WWE for two years because he’s been around the world for fifteen years. Now he can be on the WWE Network for just $9.99. He knows Cena’s numbers: fifteen World Titles, two Royal Rumble, fifty seven different t-shirt designs and over a thousand ways to suck.

Cole asks about Cena saying Owens has to finish the fight on Sunday so Owens shows us a clip of him destroying Sami Zayn at Takeover last week. If he’ll do that to his best friend, what will he do to John Cena? Just watch Sunday and you’ll see it first hand. After you do that, you’ll see that the champ is here.

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns vs. Kane/Seth Rollins

Rematch from Raw. Ambrose passes by Owens on his way to the ring and doesn’t pay him a bit of attention. Rollins gets in a cheap shot on Reigns to start, allowing Kane to get the early advantage. Seth quickly comes in and stomps Roman down in the corner where he sits on his chest for an odd choice of offense. It’s back to Kane who gets suplexed down for the tag to Ambrose as we’re still in the first minute.

Reigns and Ambrose chases them to the floor and we take a break. Back with Rollins tagging in Kane to keep Ambrose in trouble. We hit the nerve hold on Ambrose for a bit before Kane pulls him off the middle rope for a big crash. Dean gets beaten down in the corner even more and Rollins hits a running back elbow for two. Back to the reverse chinlock for a bit until Dean fights back and takes out the Stooges, only to have to break up a Rollins superplex attempt.

A tornado DDT plants Kane and that’s enough for the hot tag to Reigns. Kane blocks a Superman Punch like he always blocks a Superman Punch, but Dean takes him down with the standing top rope elbow. A rollup by Rollins is countered into a powerbomb but Seth slips out, only to eat the Superman Punch, drawing in the Stooges for the DQ at 12:03.

Rating: C-. There was nothing to talk about here because I saw almost this exact same match with a different ending on Monday. I’m not a fan of having these rematches so soon as this is exactly what happens: what are they supposed to do that they didn’t do on Monday other than how the match ends? Not bad or anything but really dull.

Ambrose and Reigns clean house until the New Day of all people come out to beat on Ambrose, only to have Reigns hit his big over the top rope dive to take everyone out. Woods eats Dirty Deeds and Kofi gets Superman Punched out of the air. Kane and Rollins get back in though and Rollins Pedigrees Ambrose to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad go home show but as usual, there’s not much to see here other than a really good tag match to start things off. However, with that great match comes a headache inducing R-Truth win over King Barrett. I was sold on the Chamber from the minute the matches were announced though so this was really just padding with a good match included.

Results

Lucha Dragons b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Salida Del Sol to Kidd

R-Truth b. King Barrett – Little Jimmy

Ryback b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev sent Ryback into the post

Paige b. Naomi – Rampaige

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Seth Rollins via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 25, 2015
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s Memorial Day and also the last Raw before Elimination Chamber. The two Chamber matches are set and we also have the World Title match ready to go, leaving just the details to be added to the matches to make things fully ready. There’s also the issue of Owens powerbombing Cena last week and standing on his US Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with the traditional salute to the veterans who have passed away serving their country. In the arena, we have a moment of silence and a ten bell salute. WWE always does a great job with these things.

Here’s the Authority in full to open things up. After a look at the ending to last week’s show, Seth talks about Ambrose coercing the Authority into giving him a title at Elimination Chamber last week. That’s not how the Authority operates because it’s not best for business. Therefore, couldn’t the Authority just take away the title match or fire Ambrose right now? Well they could and they considered it, but Rollins asked them not to.

HHH has a contract ready for Ambrose to sign so here’s Dean to the stage. Dean thinks there might be something wrong with him because he’s been having trouble sleeping lately. He’s tried counting sheep but he would rather count the times he punches Rollins in the face. It’s the closest thing to happiness he can have and that’s what he got last week. He always enjoys beating Seth up, but next time he wants it to be for the World Title.

Once he becomes the new face of the WWE, there are going to be some changes. The Stooges can go barefoot like some respectable hobbits and Kane can just wear a collar like the lapdog that he is. That leaves Rollins to drunk dial Selena Gomez like the Justin Bieber that he is.

Rollins shrugs off the Justin Bieber chants by actually defending him, saying the fans all want to be Bieber, just like Ambrose wants to be like Seth. He talks about Ambrose being a loser all his life and asks him to sign so he can lose one more time. Really good back and forth segment here with the Authority just being in the background while it happened. Ambrose comes to the ring but here’s Reigns to have his back. Stephanie gets on the mic and says Dean can sign the contract until the end of the show, but until then, it’s Reigns/Ambrose vs. Rollins/Kane right now.

Seth Rollins/Kane vs. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns

Kane slugs Ambrose in the corner to start but Dean punches and chops up against the ropes. Off to Reigns who takes Kane down with a suplex before Rollins comes in to do the same to Ambrose. It’s quickly back to Reigns for a Samoan drop on Seth but he goes outside to chase the Stooges off, only to get caught in a chinlock back inside. A lukewarm tag brings in Ambrose for shots in the corner and a clothesline to put Seth outside, setting up the suicide dive. The good guys stand tall and we take a break.

Back with Rollins stopping a Dean comeback and getting some nice applause from the Stooges. A big time clothesline puts Rollins down and the hot tag brings in Reigns. Roman cleans house for a bit until a Kane boot puts him down. That earns him a Superman Punch and the top rope elbow from Dean for two with Rollins making the save. The springboard knee to the head gets two for Seth (that looked good) but an enziguri knocks Dean into the ropes, only to have him bounce back and grab a backslide to pin Rollins at 13:25.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was fine but it was really hard to care about this one. It’s almost the same match we’ve seen a dozen times with one or two pieces being changed without anything really changing. Ambrose getting the pin is the right idea for this match to set up Sunday, but these tag matches are almost impossible to get up for these days.

After a break, Ambrose says he’ll get the contract signed later in the night. The Stooges come up and say they have the contract but Mercury forgot it. Noble: “Well slap me upside my head and call me Sally!” Always the gentleman, Ambrose does just that and beats up the two of them before punching a cameraman by mistake. Dean looks upset by what he did to the innocent guy.

Video package on Kevin Owens’ career.

The cast of the movie Entourage arrives and don’t get much of a reaction.

Rusev vs. R-Truth

Rusev is officially Bulgarian again. Truth gets in a few shots but the Accolade wraps things up in 59 seconds.

Post match Rusev says he and Lana need to talk so please get down here. He stays in the ring waiting for her through a break asking her to come out and talk to him. Come on man. At least have a giant boom box. Lana finally comes out but won’t let Rusev hold the ropes open for her. Rusev knows she cares about him, even with all the mistakes she’s made and that he makes sure to list off.

It’s not her fault though. She’s a woman, and all women make mistakes. He talks about the dreams they had back in Bulgaria and asks her to take his hand….which she eventually does. Rusev wants to hear three magical words though: “I was wrong.” That’s too much for Lana though as she shoves his hand away and leaves, saying Rusev quit. Rusev: “YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR PLACE WOMAN!” Lana calls him a liar and a quitter. No one earns her, especially Rusev. She leaves yet again and here’s Ziggler for another kiss.

So yeah, remember the last year plus of Rusev being a monster who beat Cena by knockout at Fast Lane? Well screw all that because we need to put him in a stupid soap opera style story because EVERYONE is a character like that who needs to have depth and emotions and all that nonsense.

HHH and Rollins come into Ambrose’s locker room and have the cameraman say that Ambrose hit him, despite thinking someone pushed him. Dean is arrested (“Yeah I’ve heard this before.”) and HHH smiles.

Post break the Stooges laugh at Ambrose as he’s taken away.

King Barrett vs. Ryback

Ryback still has bad ribs coming in. Barrett is thrown around to start and planted with an early powerslam but he rolls outside. Ryback follows but takes a hard kick to the ribs to give the King control. Back in and some kicks to the ribs followed by a middle rope elbow get two. Wasteland gets the same as Barrett wisely stays on the ribs. The Bull Hammer takes too long to set up though, allowing Ryback to hit a spinebuster and the Shell Shock for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D+. So Barrett just spent the entire match working on the ribs and then Ryback hit his power moves like he was perfectly fine. Nothing to see here other than yet ANOTHER Barrett loss, which just keep coming and coming and coming. This was another match designed to set up the Chamber but with no time to get there because we need more stupid soap opera nonsense.

The cast of Entourage comes in to see the Authority and name drop people cameoing in their movie. They bring up Rhonda Rousey making Stephanie scream at Wrestlemania and are politely asked to leave.

Tough Enough videos.

Stardust vs. Neville

Stephen Amell of Arrow is in the front row. Neville vs. Bo Dallas is official for Sunday. Stardust goes after the bad knee to start as the announcers talk about Stardust and Amell feuding on Twitter. As Stardust puts on a half crab, Bo Dallas slowly walks to the ring to cheer for Neville. Stardust can’t hit a superplex as Neville kicks him down and nails a tornado DDT, setting up the Red Arrow (after some slaps to the bad knee to wake it up again) for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special, but this is the kind of match I like: a guy with a pay per view match having a bit of a sweat before beating a guy with a nice resume. We don’t get these nearly enough. It sets up the match on Sunday and keeps Neville from having to waste a big match. Good booking but not a great match.

Post match Dallas tells him to Bolieve and kicks the knee out again.

The Entourage guys hit on the Total Divas, creating a massive vortex of indifference. Zack Ryder comes up and asks them to come into his dressing room because he has an idea.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Cole incorrectly says the Intercontinental Title is the only title Sheamus has never held (Tag Team Titles being the other). Sheamus runs him over to start as the announcers talk about Lana and Rusev. We’re already in the chinlock with Sheamus talking a lot of trash at the same time. They head outside with Dolph ramming him into the announcers’ table, only to get kicked in the knee back inside.

A Cactus clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Sheamus powerslams him outside, drawing Lana to the stage to watch. Back from a break with Sheamus getting two off a neckbreaker but Ziggler fights up with a bunch of forearms. The Fameasser gets two and Ziggler escapes White Noise and ducks the Brogue Kick. Ziggler’s superkick gets two and here comes Rusev to the ring for a distraction, allowing Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:20.

Rating: C. And we’re DONE with the Intercontinental Title preview matches. This is one of those ideas where WWE does one match and then just MUST do the exact same idea three times in one show with no one looking good coming out of it because none of this matters for Sunday. Decent match but my goodness this show has killed my interest.

Rusev puts on the Accolade to make Ziggler look at Lana. “KISS HIM NOW!”

It’s Open Challenge time. Fans: “JOHN CENA SUCKS!” Cena to the camera: “I guess the remix is still a popular song.” Cena says in the last ten years, the WWE Universe can be summed up in five words: “Let’s go Cena, Cena sucks.” He thanks the fans who believe in hustle, loyalty and respect but has to stop for a WE WANT RYDER chant. Those people have had his back for years and he thanks them from the bottom of his heart.

That brings him to the other group of fans, who have been begging for someone to get in this ring and knock him down. Name after name have tried to do just that but all of them have failed. Last week he met Kevin Owens, who broke the internet last week and then broke his best friend Sami Zayn in half.

Maybe that’s why the fans think Kevin Owens is the man that can put Cena down for good. This Sunday those fans that chant CENA SUCKS can instead chant FIGHT OWENS FIGHT. Owens can fight all he wants because it doesn’t mean WIN OWENS WIN. Last week Cena found out that Owens knows how to start a fight and this Sunday he’ll find out if Owens can finish one. That’s Sunday though, so let’s get to tonight. The Open Challenge starts right now.

Cena is ready and here’s the cast of Entourage. Cole: “Really?” Thankfully they’re just here to introduce the man taking the challenge.

US Title: John Cena vs. Zack Ryder

The Entourage cast is at ringside. Some early suplexes get two for Cena to start but Ryder comes back with the middle rope dropkick. Cena avoids the Broski Boot and starts his finishing sequence, only to have one of the Entourage guys get in for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Cena but Ryder counters the AA into a Killswitch for two. Now the Broski Boot gets two and the Rough Ryder gets the same. Zack goes up top but misses a 450 of all things, setting up the AA for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, it would have been cool to see Ryder get the big win to close out the building but you can’t do something like that to Cena here. Ryder looked good here and hopefully gets some more TV time out of a good performance like this. The 450 wasn’t half bad either.

Cena, Ryder and the Entourage guys get to pose in the ring for a nice moment. Cena poses on his own but turns around for a Pop Up Powerbomb from Owens, now wearing a FIGHT OWENS FIGHT shirt. Owens stomps on the US Title again for good measure.

The Authority recaps the Ambrose incident.

Now the announcers recap the Ambrose incident.

Tamina vs. Paige

Bellas are on commentary. Tamina knocks her to the floor to start and slaps on a neck crank. A quick rollup gets two for Paige followed by her three clotheslines and a dropkick. Nikki gets in a quick cheap shot though and Tamina’s Samoan drop is good for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness really? This is the best thing they can do? We’re six days before the Divas title match and the #1 contender just got pinned by the enforcer in less than four minutes. I know Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter or whatever, but that doesn’t make her the slightest bit interesting. Bad match here and even dumber booking.

Here’s the New Day to say it’s preposterous and ridiculous that they’re being persecuted for being positive. No one wants to see them lose their titles! Just ask the WWE Universe! Cue Kane to say that the Chamber is fair, but the following match isn’t quite the same.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players/Ascension vs. New Day

10-3 handicap match and joined in progress with……never mind as all ten come in for the big beatdown and the DQ at 49 seconds. Yes, the HEELS are in a big handicap match and were put there by a heel. I guess logic and the Curb Stomp can chill together on the banned list.

We get the big brawl with the Dragons diving on most of the other people at the same time. New Day stands tall, only to have Cesaro and Kidd come in and clean house.

Preview of the preview of the Daniel Bryan documentary airing on the Network tonight.

We get a second angle of Ambrose punching the camerman (from the WWE Youtube channel because of course it is) because Rollins shoved Ambrose into him. This really doesn’t change anything as Ambrose still turned around and punched him, but this show is a sitcom instead of a wrestling show.

Here’s the Authority for the big stupid ending to this stupid, stupid show. Yeah there’s a video, yeah there’s evidence saying Ambrose is innocent (he isn’t) but there’s no time. Therefore….cue Reigns before HHH can say it’s too late. The brawl is on, Reigns gets beaten down, Ambrose shows up in the police van and wearing police gear, and the big brawl allows Ambrose to sign just in time. CUE THAT LAUGH TRACK AND END THEME SONG!!!

Overall Rating: F. Yeah it failed. I was miserable watching this show as they took a huge leap backwards from all the good stuff they had been doing in the last few weeks. Instead of the fun matches and high energy, this was ALL about the backstage stuff and in ring segments with the Authority being on screen WAY too much. Look at some of the things they were doing out there and tell me they were segments we needed to see. The Entourage guys were on TV like four times and added nothing. They certainly weren’t bad, but have them out there once and stop showing them otherwise.

On top of that…..my goodness just make Rusev into the crying Zack Ryder when Eve left him. No it won’t be that bad, but my goodness man, what in the world is the point of this stupid love triangle story? What WWE doesn’t understand is there are some people who shouldn’t be like everybody else. Yeah Rusev is a human, but he needs to be treated like a monster. Let him just be the guy that got this far and stop trying to add dimensions to him. There are some people it’s ok to mess with, but Rusev isn’t that kind of character.

Then there’s the stupid contract signing deal, which comes off like a sitcom plot: it’s some wacky situation which JUST HAPPENS to work due to some master plan coming together, but it somehow manages to all unravel just as the show goes off the air with the Authority shouting that they’ll get you next time Ambrose, NEXT TIME!!!

I was livid sitting through this show as they just completely turned off the reality and made it into the biggest TV show schtick they could. That’s not even talking about the HORRIBLE booking choices of having three Intercontinental Title preview matches that went nowhere and barely set up the Chamber whatsoever. Horrible, horrible show here and wouldn’t you know it: it’s also the first show in a long time where Stephanie was a featured player. How about that.

Results

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Kane – Backslide to Rollins

Rusev b. R-Truth – Accolade

Ryback b. King Barrett – Shell Shock

Neville b. Stardust – Red Arrow

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick

John Cena b. Zack Ryder – Attitude Adjustment

New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Ascension/Prime Time Players via DQ when all ten attacked New Day at the same time

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