Smackdown
Date: May 7, 2015
Location: Canadian Tire Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We had a twist on Monday as Dean Ambrose was added to the fatal fourway at the pay per view for the World Title. While it’s likely that Ambrose was added to the match for the sake of taking the fall, he does add a fresh energy to the match that we haven’t seen so far. This show has a lot to live up to after Monday’s Raw. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Ambrose being added to the title match on Monday. Tonight we have a fourway contract signing.

Opening sequence.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to open the show with an interview with the freshly crowned King Barrett. The new king doesn’t think much of Lawler because he just likes to call himself a king. Barrett on the other hand defeated three men in twenty four hours to prove his royal worth. If Lawler wants to be in the same ring with him, he must say ALL HAIL KING BARRETT.

Lawler can’t get any responds in before Barrett says Jerry is from the trailer parks of Memphis with that other fake king Elvis Pressley. Jerry won’t say the words so Barrett threatens a Bull Hammer. Cue Dolph Ziggler to call Barrett a Renaissance fair reject. A match is set up right now.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

The King gets two off an early snap suplex and knee drop but Dolph dropkicks him out to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Dolph fighting out of a chinlock but getting kicked in the face for two more. Off to a double arm crank before Winds of Change gets yet another near fall. There’s the Fameasser for two but Sheamus runs in for the DQ at 6:29. Not enough show to rate but it was just there to set up the next match.

Neville runs out for the save and it’s time for a tag match.

Dolph Ziggler/Neville vs. Bad News Barrett/Sheamus

This is joined in progress with Sheamus driving Neville’s back into the apron and kicking him hard in the face. The Irish Curse gets two and it’s off to the King for another backbreaker. Neville tries to fight up but gets kicked in the face. There’s something so awesome about just kicking a guy in the face to put him down. We hit the chinlock from Sheamus before Neville breaks out of the ten forearms to the chest.

Sheamus is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s hot tag to Ziggler. Dolph fights off the UK contingent and hits the running DDT for two on Barrett. A superkick gets the same but Ziggler has to duck a Brogue Kick. Neville’s flip dive takes Sheamus down and Neville is right back up to break Barrett’s rollup with feet on the ropes (like any evil monarch should do). The Zig Zag gives Ziggler the pin over Barrett at 5:45 shown.

Rating: C. We were just kidding ourselves when we thought this was leading somewhere new for Barrett. He hasn’t even been king two weeks yet and he’s already getting pinned in a tag match. This is a match that really should have gone to a countout or DQ instead of having any of the four getting pinned. Let them fight another day so the pin can mean something more, or maybe have Ziggler, the most expendable of the four, take the fall.

Ambrose calls himself the chaos theory in the Authority’s equation. He’s the last guy you want in the match because he’s the last guy walking out with the title.

Luke Harper vs. Fandango

This should be painful. Harper teases some Fandangoing before the match and then boots Fandango in the face. Fandango scores with some dropkicks but Harper shrugs off a DDT. The big man nails a superkick of his own and the discus lariat is good for the pin on the dancer at 1:33.

Post match Erick Rowan comes out and beats up Fandango as well. It’s not like either has done anything in a few months so why not let them be a team again?

Here’s a smiling Lana with something to say. Before she can get there though, she takes the time to soak in a Lana chant. She asks them to stop though as the chants anger Rusev. This brings out the man himself to send Lana to the back while he gets the real work done. In this case that’s the same promo he’s done about Cena for months now, as he promises to make Cena quit at Payback. This somehow takes two minutes and various Russian to accomplish.

Roman Reigns says he’s been Orton’s rival forever and he hates Rollins, so the only person he can like in the ring is Ambrose. The quicker he signs tonight, the faster he can punch his way to the title. This is the kind of short, to the point promo that Reigns needs to stick with. There isn’t time for him to say something stupid and it stayed on point.

New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/???

It’s mystery partner time. Kidd/Cesaro have recruited…..Ryback. There are worse options out there. Ryback and Kingston get things going but Kofi has to stop to call off the NEW DAY SUCKS chants. They actually trade hammerlocks to start until Ryback hits an atomic drop so Kidd can nail a dropkick for two. Off to Woods but Cesaro tags himself in to nail a clothesline for two of his own.

In a cool spot, Ryback and Cesaro hit delayed verticals on Big E. and Woods. At the same time, Kidd comes in for a suplex of his own but does a snap instead. All three guys get in on the NEW DAY SUCKS stomps on Woods but he’s still able to escape the Sharpshooter. New Day winds up on the floor and all three get flattened by dives and clotheslines as the fans are WAY into Ryback and Cesaro/Kidd. Big E. finally drives Kidd into the apron and barricade a few times to take over. Back from a break with Woods jumping in with a tornado DDT for two on Kidd.

Big E. sends Tyson flying with a suplex but Xavier misses a charge in the corner. Kofi tries to break up the hot tag but Kidd gets to Ryback, who immediately cleans house. Everything breaks down and Cesaro does his running uppercuts spot and loads up the Swing, drawing in Big E. for the save. Instead Cesaro dropkicks Kofi down and the Andre/Snuka splash position sets up Kidd’s elbow drop on Kingston. Everything breaks down and Ryback stalks Woods up the ramp…..as the lights go out. No one appears but Big E. runs Ryback over. In the distraction, Kofi rolls Kidd up and grabs trunks for the pin at 12:49.

Rating: B. New Day does indeed rock and they’re really gelling in the ring. You couple that with a team like Cesaro/Kidd and someone who is figuring out how to be the wrecking ball in Ryback and you have a really solid match. The Wyatt stuff was fine as it gives you an out to end the match without anyone looking bad. Good stuff here as these guys just get better and better every week.

Orton says his strategy for the pay per view hasn’t changed because he’s going to take out anyone he has to in order to become champion. One of the members of Shield goes down tonight.

Naomi vs. Emma

Naomi and Tamina’s inset interview talks about how they’re going to remind everyone what they can do. Emma gets sent into the corner to start but does the same to Naomi for an early near fall. A neckbreaker into a nipup puts Emma back down though and a dropkick gets two. Some rollups get more near falls for Emma but the Rear View is enough for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D+. Just a squash as Emma has somehow fallen even further down the ladder since Santino left. She’s a perfect example of someone who got over in NXT and was completely wasted on the main roster. I know there were outside circumstances, but there was no future for her when she was turned into just another smiling Diva with no distinct personality.

Tamina superkicks Emma for good measure.

Tough Enough videos.

Rollins says this is his title and thinks Kane sounds desperate when he tries to take credit for any of Rollins’ success. Seth has the mind that Kane will never have and it drives him crazy.

Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons

New gear for the Dragons. Kalisto and Fernando start and we’re in a chinlock 22 seconds after the bell. Thankfully Kalisto gets up after half a second and headlocks Fernando down before it’s off to Cara for a slingshot hilo. Diego comes in with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two but Cara finally comes back with a springboard double cross body. He tries a headstand in the corner but gets kicked down to the floor, allowing Torito to get in a cheap shot as we take a break. In this match?

Back with Cara slamming Fernando down and making the hot tag to Kalisto for a cross body of his own. The twisting cross body puts Diego down and the short hurricanrana does the same. Kalisto’s handspring into a spinning kick to the head stuns Fernando again, allowing Cara to small package him for the pin at 8:25. There was no need for a break in this match.

Rating: C. I would say this is a passing of the torch but Los Matadores have been in the dark since they debuted. The Lucha Dragons are far better in the role anyway and can get the crowd going with the LUCHA LUCHA LUCHA chants. Not a great or even good match but the fans were into the Dragons.

Los Matadores blame Torito for the loss.

Kane is here to emcee the contract signing. After a brief intro, he calls out all four participants as this is already taking a long time. Seth chills on the stage, prompting Ambrose to call him Justin Bieber. I really, really hope that isn’t foreshadowing the appearance of that horrible person. Seth mocks Reigns’ lack of speaking ability so Reigns has a sentence for him: He’s going to sign this contract and then take Seth’s head off. The fans chant for Randy and all three challengers sign.

Seth wants Kane to sign for him but Kane says do it yourself. Mercury is told to bring the contract to Rollins, but Seth would rather insult everyone instead of signing. Apparently Roman used to call Ambrose a Roddy Piper knockoff and Reigns can sign autographs better than he can wrestle. Orton is spoiled and only here because of his old man. Seth finally gets inside and signs and hands them to Kane, who he refers to as Mr. Obsolete.

We get the same argument for the 193^rd time but Ambrose moves the table out of the way. “We all know how this is going to end anyway so I call dibs on the table.” The brawl is on with Ambrose throwing the chairs over the top, and hitting Noble in the head. Rollins dropkicks Reigns into Ambrose but has to bail from an RKO. Dean and Roman get into it but it’s the RKO to Ambrose, Superman Punch to Orton and springboard knee to Reigns to leave Rollins standing tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The long ending segment didn’t do much for me, but even worse is that I can barely remember what happened on this show two hours after it started. Looking back it wasn’t bad, but there’s no staying power to this episode. When your big moments are Erick Rowan turning heel again and the Lucha Dragons splitting up with their mascot, it’s clearly just a filler show. You really shouldn’t need one of those with three weeks between pay per views.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Bad News Barrett via DQ when Sheamus interfered

Dolph Ziggler/Neville b. Sheamus/Bad News Barrett – Zig Zag to Barrett

Luke Harper b. Fandango – Discus lariat

New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Ryback – Rollup to Kidd with a handful of trunks

Naomi b. Emma – Rear View

Lucha Dragons b. Los Matadores – Small package to Fernando

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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And that’s a good thing.Looking back at last night, we saw one of the things that you can’t plan but it’s the best thing in the world to have: acts are starting to get hot.

New Day is on fire right now and the fans are having a great time booing them.  Cesaro/Kidd are one of the most polished teams I’ve seen in years and are giving me flashbacks to the Harts and the Bulldogs.  Ambrose is exactly the spark that the main event needed.  This open challenge thing is one of the most exciting parts of the show every week.  Sami Zayn, the Lucha Dragons and Neville are showing what happens when NXT stars get the chance to shine.  Barrett is PERFECT for the king role.  Lana could be the biggest Diva in the world if she has any skill in the ring.

I really hope this doesn’t jinx it, but we could be in for one heck of a summer if WWE doesn’t screw this up.  Things are getting hot in a hurry and they could knock it out of the park if they don’t do their usual.

A few things that could kill the roll:

Jobbing New Day/Cesaro/Kidd.  They’re hot, the fans want to see them do their thing, and they’re all nailing it.  Don’t have them be cannon fodder for one off teams like Orton and Reigns.

Don’t have Barrett lose five matches in a row and then win once to prove he’s still good.  It hasn’t worked before and it won’t work now.

No more 20 minute opening promos, especially from HHH/Stephanie.  That fake smugness about “we love the fans and just want what’s best for them” has been done so many times and it’s completely overdone.  Just have them be evil.  And don’t let Stephanie keep cutting balls off.  Or at least let her get some comeuppance.  HHH isn’t even that bad these days.  If he keeps it relatively short he’s fine.  He’s just been stuck in horrible stories.

Don’t give us Rollins vs. Kane on pay per view.  Just don’t.

Keep Big Show in the midcard.  The main event stuff was long, dull and didn’t work.  Yeah the blowoff match was good, but in no way was it good enough to make up for how bad it was.  Get Kane and Big Show out of their spots and put Sheamus/Barrett in there instead.

Last night in the Live Discussion I do every week on Raw (WrestleZone Forums.  Check it out), I said something like this:

“Either Sami’s arm injury is fake or he’s the most amazing wrestler of all time.”

It seems the latter is closer to the truth as he really did jack up his shoulder during his entrance.  Still though, great stuff.

If it’s not clear, I really liked Raw last night and I’m hoping it keeps going, but I have a feeling they’re going to botch it.  As they almost always do.

This was kind of a special episode as the King of the Ring was announced and set up in the span of a single day. Apparently the idea was to have it spread into May on the Network where people would have to pay for it, but since May is ANOTHER free month, they’re just turning it into a two night event instead. That makes me so much happier to have paid for the Network since day one. Let’s get to it.

We open with the story that just won’t die as Kane, Rollins and the Stooges are in the ring. Uh let’s see: Rollins brags, Kane blames Rollins for whatever (that’s a good point: why are these two even fighting? I think it’s something to do with Kane thinking Rollins is ungrateful or something, but they keep shouting all the time and it’s really gotten lost in the shuffle), Rollins tells him to shut up, they bicker like two idiots, Orton and Reigns come out and want title shots, Kane says it’s POLL TIME!

Barrett beat Ziggler in a pretty lame tournament match. That’s going to become a recurring theme: tournament matches mostly suck because they need to fly through the first round and there’s not much time to do things like build up a match.

Xavier Woods cheated to help Big E. beat Tyson Kidd. How nice is it to see someone cheating like a good old fashioned villain?

Ryback squashed Bo Dallas and then got beaten up by Bray Wyatt. This was pretty clear after the weights line from Bray last week, but I’m really not sure where this one is going. Ryback vs. Wyatt could be an interesting feud, but it could also be one of those where you watch the match, tilt your head a bit and then say “well that…….sucked? I think?” It’s an odd pairing but I like both guys so it could go somewhere. Oh and one more thing: why are people SO obsessed with seeing Bo Dallas as Bray’s disciple? Yeah they’re brothers. Does that mean they have to be together on screen? I’ve never gotten the mass appeal of the pairing.

There was no open challenge this week as Rusev came out beat up Heath Slater before he could answer and then did the same promo they’ve done about 15 times now. I’m really starting to get worried about Rusev as more than once now I’ve forgotten what he’s been doing since he lost the US Title. One day someone in WWE is going to have to sit down with me and explain the psychology behind taking someone who was really getting over and then having them lose on pay per view three times in a row to the same guy. I’m guessing this leads to Lana’s big face turn, but do we really need to kill Rusev to get there?

Kane and Rollins did their same schtick of threatening to call the Authority because the 7′ monster and the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION are the little kids to HHH and Stephanie’s mom and dad. This bickering angle is really getting old and again, I have no idea what I’m supposed to find interesting about it.

R-Truth beat Stardust to advance. You think I have anything else to say about this?

Adam Rose beat Fandango. To quote myself from the original review: “This is the latest story that people aren’t going to care about and is going to be a waste of time.”

Brie Bella couldn’t remember what emotion she was supposed to have when talking about her husband’s career possibly being over. Naomi shoved her down to continue trying to make the Bellas into faces because……well someone has to be in this division.

Naomi then beat Brie with one of the worst small packages I’ve ever seen. I’ll give them this though: there was a clear heel and face in the match and I had a reason to care about seeing Brie beat Naomi up. That right there is all the story I need. You have a villain and an opponent (I still can’t bring myself to call her a hero) who can give her what she has coming and maybe the match won’t suck. On a good day. Maybe.

Sheamus beat Dean Ambrose via DQ to advance when Dolph Ziggler interfered. Ambrose looked good out there and it was one of the better matches of the night, so there isn’t much to say here. One good thing though was Dean freaking out that Ziggler interefering was a DQ. His I GET DQ’d FOR THAT was right up there with Hogan thinking that Jimmy Hart wearing a striped jacket and counting the pin at Wrestlemania IX was enough to win the Tag Team Titles.

Damien Sandow’s new gimmick is mimicking people. You know, like four year olds do. I give this a month, max. There was something in there about beating up Curtis Axel too.

Neville beat Luke Harper because Neville is pretty awesome. This was a god way to have a young hero stand up to a monster like Harper and come out looking great. Neville is getting one of the best pushes I’ve seen in a long time and I’m getting more and more into his matches every single time.

The main event was a long Reigns/Orton vs. Rollins/Kane tag with Reigns pinning the champ. This was your standard main event tag match, meaning it was entertaining enough but longer than it needed to be.

The triple threat option won the poll because…..it’s too late in the night for sarcasm. It won because it’s a triple threat and that’s the only thing that was ever going to win.

This show was about setting up Payback and the tournament as fast as they could because somehow, despite OWNING ITS OWN NETWORK, WWE still can’t figure out something as simple as a schedule to let pay per views be properly built. Not a very good show but it did its job well enough. These episodes of building up future shows are never all that great so this was about as good as you can get, especially with the tournament stuff shoehorned in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 28, 2015
Location: iWireless Center, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tom Phillips, Jerry Lawler

We’re four days removed from Extreme Rules, meaning we’re two and a half weeks from Payback. Coming out of Raw, the big story is Rollins having to defend his title against Randy Orton and Roman Reigns in a three way at the next pay per view, which WWE had spoiled about a week in advance. Let’s get to it.

This episode is dedicated to Verne Gagne.

We open in the back with Kane coming into Rollins’ office. Seth yells about Kane screwing up on Monday and making decisions not best for business because they’re not best for him. Kane tells him to cool it but Seth accuses him of being jealous. Kane promises to make a man out of him, so tonight it’s Rollins vs. Ambrose because it’s best for business. Seth thinks the Kane from 20 years ago would be best for business because this one has nothing to offer.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. First up we have a shout out to his boy Dean Ambrose for his match tonight against their little brother Seth Rollins. That would be the guy that ripped down everything they had built and then cost him the World Title at Wrestlemania. Thanks to Seth, every fight he’s had has been the biggest fight of his life, so wait until he gets his hands on him at Payback. This brings out Kane and it’s time for a match.

Roman Reigns vs. Kane

Slug out to start with Kane kicking him down into the corner before planting him with a belly to back suplex. Roman low bridges him to the floor and sends Kane into the post but a side slam puts Reigns on the announcers’ table. Back from a break with Kane holding Reigns in a bearhug before just stepping on his head. Roman gets back up and wins another slugout before suplexing Kane down. A middle rope clothesline puts him down again and Roman follows it up with more in the corner.

The Samoan drop looks to set up the Superman Punch but Kane catches him by the throat for a chokeslam for two. Reigns escapes the tombstone and hits a DDT (because it’s just a transitional move), followed by the Superman Punch but the threat of a spear sends Kane running away for the countout at 9:59.

Rating: D+. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about this potential Kane face turn but it’s not working. Kane is decent enough as a power enforcer but he’s the focus of the main event scene instead of the champion or either of the challengers. That’s really the best idea they have?

Renee asks Seth about what just happened. Rollins says the difference between himself and Kane is he finds a way to win the fight instead of running away all the time. He doesn’t need the help of the WWE, the Authority, or even the Stooges.

Cesaro/Kidd vs. New Day for the titles tonight. So much for building a match up.

Damien Sandow vs. Curtis Axel

Sandow has new generic rock music and mimics the ring announcer’s introduction. This has all of a few weeks before it gets old in a hurry. Sandow introduces Axel as the village idiot of Minneapolis and the Pigeon Toed Disappointment. Axel does the shirt rip and gets caught in a headlock for his efforts. This time it’s Damien ripping his own shirt off and throwing Curtis to the floor before sitting down next to him. Back in and Curtis stomps Damien down and chokes him in the corner. A corner splash misses though and Sandow Hulks Up with three punches and a big boot into You’re Welcome (full nelson slam) for the pin at 2:30.

Ryback thinks the eater of worlds has bitten off more than he can chew. Tonight, he’s dedicating his match to Bray Wyatt when he devours Bray’s former disciple Luke Harper.

Ryback vs. Luke Harper

They grapple around to start with both guys grabbing headlocks. That’s not Harper’s style though so he slugs Ryback down, only to get caught by the Thesz press and having his head rammed into the mat. Luke comes back with a snap suplex but Ryback one ups him with a delayed vertical suplex, complete with a few marching steps. Davey Boy pounds on Dynamite in the corner but gets powerbombed down as we take a break.

Back with Ryback getting Gator Rolled until he powers Harper off, dropping him face first onto the mat. A powerslam sets up the Warrior splash for two. Ryback plants him with the spinebuster but the Meat Hook is countered by a superkick. The discus lariat is blocked with a Meat Hook though and it’s the Shell Shock for the pin at 9:39.

Rating: C. I liked this about as much as I thought I would as you have two big power guys beating on each other for ten minutes. Ryback has been treated very well since his return to form and it’s nice to see him getting a strong push. There’s always going to be room for a guy like him with the smashmouth style and putting him in there against Harper or Wyatt could make for some good power brawls.

Speaking of Bray, he appears and beats Ryback down post match.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

New Day took the title with some cheating on Sunday. Fans: “NEW DAY SUCKS!” Woods: “NO WE DON’T!” Kofi and Kidd get things going with Kidd grabbing a quick rollup for one, putting a big smile on his face. Off to a chinlock from Tyson before Cesaro snaps off an uppercut for two. The gutwrench suplex gets the same so Kofi tries a small package. That makes Cesaro chuckle as he powers Kingston up into a suplex, walks him over to the corner and tags in Kidd for a high cross body. That’s just scary strength.

Big E. comes in off a blind tag but walks into a German suplex to keep the challengers in control. We get the NEW DAY SUCKS rhythmic stomping in the corner but a Kofi distraction lets Big E. knock Kidd off the apron to finally take over. Kidd gets caught in the wrong corner for some stomping from Kofi, followed by stomping from Big E. and a dropkick from Kofi. Kingston goes to the middle rope but dives into a dropkick. Big E. runs in to break up the hot tag attempt and we take a break. Back with Big E. holding Kidd in a bearhug before planting him with a belly to belly.

The New Day Boom Drop connects but Tyson ducks Trouble in Paradise, finally allowing for the hot tag to Cesaro. European uppercuts a go-go in the corner get two for Cesaro before a gorilla press drop gets the same with Big E. making the save. Big E. speeds things up and cleans house as everything breaks down. Kidd dives through the ropes to take out Kofi before Cesaro’s middle rope back elbow drops Big E., setting up the Swing into the dropkick but Woods runs in for the DQ at 13:35.

Rating: B. These four have awesome chemistry and this was no exception. Now if only they could have a match built up instead of just throwing it out there on a Smackdown five days after the title change. Earlier this week on Austin’s podcast, Wade Keller suggested building it up as a big time Smackdown main event like a month out. Why not? The match would rock and WWE clearly doesn’t care about Smackdown anyway.

Summer Rae and Cameron are catty about Brie and Naomi. Nikki comes out to run Summer off and stands up to Cameron for her sister’s honor. A match is made for later.

Tough Enough videos.

Cameron vs. Nikki Bella

Non-title. This is Nikki’s chance to carry a match. Naomi gets an inset interview talking about all the good the Bellas think they can do in the world. What good have those two ever done other than paying for a plastic surgeon to have a new boat? Nikki throws her down and does some jumping jacks before cranking on an armbar.

Cameron fights out of an armbar and ducks the spinning kick out of the corner. A running kick to Nikki’s back gets two and the silence as Cameron shouts at the referee is disturbing. We hit the chinlock on Nikki for a bit before she fights up and hits the second attempt at the kick out of the corner for two. The big forearm sets up the Rack Attack for the pin on Cameron at 3:56.

Rating: D+. So here’s the thing: Nikki isn’t horrible in the ring. She can even have a totally passable match more often than not. However, whether it’s “I WISH YOU DIED IN THE WOMB!” to “of course my sister forgave me for being horrible to her” to having to carry Cameron, she gets stuck with some of the worst booking I’ve ever seen. I don’t think she’s ever going to be anything special in the ring, but she’s doing what she can with what she has.

The Prime Time Players ask about the New Day and hear crickets. They introduce the New Day Clap Away box, which disappears whenever you clap enough times. You should call to put the Prime Time Players on TV and get their shirts on WWEshop.com so they can make millions of dollars.

Rollins and the Stooges come in to see Ambrose and ask him to step down instead. HHH is going to be back soon and he’ll take out his rage on anyone who was involved with this mess, including Ambrose. Dean says that sounds good but he means seeing Rollins get humiliated.

Long recap of Tuesday’s King of the Ring special with Barrett coming out with the crown.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title. Dean starts on the armbar early on, sending Rollins outside for a breather. Back in and Seth takes him down with a hammerlock but Dean reverses and kicks him in the back of the head for two. A clothesline puts Seth on the floor but Dean follows him out for a right hand to the head. The Stooges get in some cheap shots so here’s Kane to even things out, at least in theory.

Back from a break with Dean kicking him in the face but getting stomped right back down. Dean finally scores with a big clothesline followed by a barrage of chops and punches. A bulldog out of the corner sets up the standing elbow but Rollins kicks him out of the air, only to get dropkicked to the floor. Dean nails a suicide dive and takes Seth back inside for two off a faceplant. They head to the corner with Rollins pulling Dean down into the buckle bomb for two more.

Rollins and Kane are ready to get inside and celebrate but Kane stares at Seth on the kicking. A surprise rollup gets two for Dean and he backdrops Seth onto Kane. Back up and Dean dives on everyone not named Rollins, who sends Ambrose into the barricade. Kane grabs Dean and Seth by the throat, earning him a tongue lashing from the referee. Dean has to save the referee but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. That falling front DDT is enough to give Rollins the pin at 13:46.

Rating: B-. They went a different way than I was expecting here but it still worked. Kane vs. Rollins isn’t an interesting feud but they seen dead set on running with it no matter how many people fall asleep watching them. Above all else though: Rollins’ new finisher is horrible. It looks like a transitional move but it’s the finisher of the WWE World Champion. There must be something better than that.

Kane stares Seth down post match but joins the Stooges for the big beatdown. Cue Roman Reigns (coming down the ramp for a change) for the save. A double spear drops the Stooges to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Solid show this week with good wrestling almost all around and two really solid matches. They set up more of the Reigns vs. Rollins part of the title match while leaving Orton’s part for Monday. Kane is still annoying but at least they kept it short. Anytime I get to see Ryback trading shots with another brute and New Day vs. Cesaro/Kidd, it’s a good night. Solid show this week.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Kane via countout

Damien Sandow b. Curtis Axel – You’re Welcome

Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. New Day via DQ when Xavier Woods interfered

Nikki Bella b. Cameron – Rack Attack

Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose – Falling front DDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 27, 2015
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.

We’re past Extreme Rules but the more interesting story is the return of the King of the Ring tournament. The tournament is back for the first time in seven years with the finals being held tomorrow night during a Network special. Other than that we have all the Extreme Rules fallout to get through. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are the King of the Ring brackets.

Dean Ambrose

Sheamus

Neville

Luke Harper

R-Truth

Stardust

Dolph Ziggler

Bad News Barrett

Rollins, Kane and the Stooges open us up. Rollins brags about what he did last night and runs down his resume in recent weeks. It was clear that Rollins was going to win from the start last night and the SKO (yes SKO) out of nowhere was a nice touch. Seth says you need good soldiers and thanks Kane for his help, but the monster isn’t happy with that. After some yelling and comparing Rollins to Justin Bieber, here’s Randy Orton to interrupt.

Randy gets right to the point: due to Rollins cheating last night, it’s time for a rematch. This brings out Roman Reigns who seems to think he has a case for a title shot as well. While standing on the announcers’ table, Roman talks about their history together and thinks it’s his turn for a shot at the title. Rollins says no but Kane says it’s going to be up to the WWE Universe.

King of the Ring First Round: Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

Before the match, Ziggler swears payback on Sheamus. Perhaps at Payback? Barrett punches him into the corner to start and kicks Ziggler in the face. A quick dropkick puts Bad News on the floor and we take a break. Back with Barrett kicking him in the face and knocking him to the floor. Ziggler is right back in there though and counters Winds of Change into the running DDT.

Barrett gets back up in a hurry though and gets two off Wasteland. The Bull Hammer is countered with a superkick for two but here’s Sheamus with stills of the post match humiliation from last night. The distraction works as Barrett Bull Hammers Dolph from the apron to advance at 8:24.

Rating: D+. As is so often the case, not enough time means not much of a match. This is a common occurrence in tournaments: you have to get so many matches in that you have to keep things moving, meaning there’s no time to get anywhere with a lot of them. You can pretty much pencil in Ziggler returning the favor later on.

Here’s New Day for Big E.’s match, but before the match, Woods wants to thank all of the clappers out there. It’s not just a New Day, but it’s time for a new clap, so try this one on: New Day ROCKS! You can imagine the fans’ reaction.

Big E. vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd goes right after Big E. to start but slingshots onto E.’s shoulders. Tyson quickly escapes though and kicks Big E. in the head before stomping to the beat of the chants in the corner. A running kick to the face from the apron knocks E. down again but Big E. hits a clothesline with Woods holding Kidd’s foot for the pin at 1:25.

Ryback vs. Bo Dallas

Before the match, Bo gives Ryback one chance to walk away before the beating begins, but he makes sure to insult the Packers fans in the audience. After a GO PACK GO chant, Ryback slugs Bo down but Dallas gets in a series of forearms to the back for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Ryback destroys him with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook and Shell Shock are enough for the pin at 2:06.

Post match we’ve got Wyatt in the ring to stare down Ryback and hit a quick Sister Abigail. I can dig this feud, and no I don’t think we’re seeing/need a Bo Dallas/Bray Wyatt connection.

Here’s Cena for this week’s open challenge. Last night he was on a high after defending the title against Rusev again, but then he saw Rusev and Lana announce one more match for the title. It’s an I Quit match at Payback, which sounds right up Cena’s alley. He’ll never say he quits, but he if does, there’s no rematch because Cena couldn’t face himself anymore. As for tonight though, the challenge is open.

US Title: Heath Slater vs. John Cena

Slater has a mic with him and says he’ll win the title tonight and become the US Champion of the world. He talks about recreating Aaron Rogers’ Discount Double Check but gets kicked in the head by Rusev. Lana comes out waving but gets sent to the back as Rusev rants about the fans giving up already. No match. The Russian flag drops, which makes Cena get all serious. Why doesn’t he just talk to the production staff and not let them put the flag in place?

Kane explains that the fans can vote for who faces Rollins on the WWE App, sending Rollins into a frenzy. He threatens to call HHH or Stephanie so Kane gives the fans the option of making it a triple threat. Seth is livid.

King of the Ring First Round: R-Truth vs. Stardust

Truth wants to win so he can get rid of all spiders. Stardust wants to become King of the Stars. The Cody chants start up as Stardust nails him in the jaw coming out of the corner and stomps Truth in the back. A chinlock keeps things slow and Stardust busts out a cartwheel. Booker: “Why?” Truth comes back but misses the ax kick. They trade rollups for two each until the Disaster Kick is countered into Little Jimmy (called the Lie Detector) for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever. Truth was the obvious winner as soon as Barrett won, which is one of the things that gets old in a hurry about tournaments. Once one guy wins, it’s almost obvious who is going to win the next match because some matches just aren’t going to happen. Nothing to see here with an obvious winner.

Fandango vs. Adam Rose

Fandango starts fast by sending Rose to the floor for a big dive, only to be distracted by Rosa Mendes, who was disguised as a Rosebud. The surprise allows Rose to hit the Party Foul for the pin at 1:50.

Rosa can’t believe Fandango picked the fans over her and kisses Rose. This is the latest story that people aren’t going to care about and is going to be a waste of time.

We go to Renee Young with Brie Bella, who is WAY too happy to be discussing her husband’s health. Renee brings up Bryan and the smile goes away. Did they just not tell her what they were talking about? They want Bryan back in the ring and are so grateful for the fans’ support, but Naomi comes up and shoves her down. No one cares about Brie or Bryan apparently.

Naomi vs. Brie Bella

That’s a very quickly signed match. Naomi gets in a cheap shot from behind to start, followed by a hard forearm to the face. Thankfully Nikki is on the floor so we don’t have COME ON BRIE in a mic this week. Brie comes back with a running faceplant and BRIE MODE. The middle rope dropkick gets two but Naomi gets a horrible looking small package (Brie’s shoulder wasn’t being touched and there was no reason she couldn’t raise it off the mat) for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see, but my goodness how much easier are the Divas to sit through when the stories are a bit more logical? Naomi is a jerk and attacked Brie when she was talking about her injured husband. That minute long segment set up the match and made perfect sense. Why is that so hard to do so often?

King of the Ring First Round: Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus

Dean’s decrees if he becomes King: remove all tariffs on ale, ban pop-country and have all disputes settled in street fights. They shove each other into the corner to start until Sheamus drops Dean with a shoulder. Dean takes him to the mat and ties up the legs to try a wrestling match, earning him a right hand to the face. Dean’s bulldog is countered but he hits a forearm to send Sheamus outside as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus hitting his release suplex slam. Ambrose finally scores with the rebound clothesline and both guys are down. Back up and the Brogue Kick misses, allowing Dean to send him shoulder first into the post. A powerslam from Sheamus looks to set up White Noise but Dean counters into Dirty Deeds, which is countered into the Cloverleaf.

Dean gets to the ropes for the break and has to fight out of the ten forearms. The top rope standing elbow gets two before they fight to the floor with Dean clotheslining him off the announcers’ table. A Brogue Kick out of nowhere nails Ambrose but Dolph runs in for the DQ at 12:41.

Rating: B-. This was rolling along until the obvious ending. As I’ve harped on all night: tournaments are the most predictable thing in wrestling, but fans always clamor for them if you just slap the King of the Ring name tag on there. I was digging the heck out of this match until Ziggler ran in though, which is a shame.

The best part here comes from Dean after the match: “I GET DQ’D FOR THAT???”

Here’s Damien Sandow for his first comments after last week. Three years ago he arrived in the WWE in a blue bathrobe and said he would enlighten everyone. After that he was told he just wasn’t entertaining enough so he started going insane imitating people (complete with stills of some of his better/worse moments, depending on your taste). This culminated in Damien Mizdow, which lost him some respect among his peers but gained him the respect of the WWE Universe, which is more important than anything else he could have. He isn’t sure where he goes from here, but Curtis Axel comes out to help guide him a bit.

Axel can’t stand someone not knowing who they are and trying to be someone else. So WHATCHA GONNA DO…..but Sandow cuts him off by imitating everything Axel says like a four year old does and eventually punches Axel out and drops the Wind Up Elbow and a legdrop for good measure.

Bray Wyatt talks about learning to play with fire but doesn’t know if Ryback will ever learn. Will Ryback ever learn, or will he always be obsessed with himself? Ryback is transparent and Bray knows what scares him. Tonight was only the beginning so run.

Tough Enough audition tapes.

King of the Ring First Round: Neville vs. Luke Harper

Neville grabs a headscissors to start and kicks Harper to the floor, setting up a hurricanrana off the apron. Back in and Harper knocks a springboarding Neville out of the air for two to take over as we go to a break. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock and kicking Harper to the floor for a top rope Asai Moonsault to drop Harper again.

Neville gets two off a standing shooting star but Harper just kicks him in the face and plants him with a half nelson suplex. The big sitout powerbomb gets two for Harper and the fans think this is awesome. They head to the corner with Neville kicking him in the head, setting up a sunset bomb from Neville. The Red Arrow connects for the pin to send Neville to the semi-finals at 10:17.

Rating: B. That was by far and away the best match of the night for multiple reasons, but above all else it was due to the match being a tossup. I could have seen either guy going over here and that makes things far more interesting. Good stuff here with Neville’s rocket push working more and more every week.

Here are the final four.

Barrett

R-Truth

Neville

Sheamus

Roman Reigns/Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins/Kane

Reigns takes Rollins into the corner to start so Randy can kick him in the ribs. Rollins bails to the floor so it’s off to Reigns vs. Kane with the former planting him with a side slam. Back to Kane who pulls Orton into the corner for some stomping as JBL won’t shut up about how unfair the idea of a triple threat is. We take a break and come back with Rollins holding Orton in a chinlock.

That goes as far as a chinlock is going to go as Orton fights up with a t-bone suplex, setting up the tags to the power guys. Roman fires off clotheslines in the corner, capped off by a big one from the middle rope as everything breaks down. The Authority is sent to the floor but Mercury break up the big dive. Roman follows Joey around and winds up walking into an uppercut from Kane to take over again. Reigns wins a slugout with Rollins so the champ kicks him in the face for two.

Kane scores with the side slam for two before putting on a bearhug. The slow beating continues until Roman finally slams Rollins down, allowing for the hot tag to Orton. Everything breaks down again and Reigns powers out of a chokeslam, only to have Rollins dropkick Kane by mistake.

Mercury is thrown into Kane, allowing Orton to hit the elevated DDT on Seth. The RKO is countered into a rollup, followed by the low superkick to knock Randy to the floor. Seth tries a suicide dive but hits Kane, sending the monster into a rage against the Stooges. An uppercut drops Rollins and it’s the Superman Punch into the RKO for the pin on the champ at 18:38.

Rating: C+. Longer than it needed to be here but the ending did what it was supposed to. At least Kane isn’t going to be added into the title picture, but it’s not the most interesting story in the world regardless. Reigns getting back into the title hunt is a good idea though and it sets up a more interesting match at Payback.

Triple threat gets 78% of the poll. This would be more surprising if WWE hadn’t spoiled the results last week. Rollins eats a spear to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show wasn’t the best but it had two major stories going on at the same time. The tournament was the standard for a first round of a tournament and the poll results were never in doubt, but they kept the show moving enough with far more action than talking, which is more important than anything else. Good enough show here as they’re finding a good balance to make things work and get through these never ending rematches.

Results

Bad News Barrett b. Dolph Ziggler – Bull Hammer

Big E. b. Tyson Kidd – Clothesline with Woods holding the foot

Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Stardust – Little Jimmy

Naomi b. Brie Bella – Small package

Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Seth Rollins – RKO to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Extreme Rules 2015
Date: April 26, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s time for the night of Wrestlemania rematches, which often makes for a very entertaining card. The main event will see Seth Rollins defending the World Title against Randy Orton inside a cage with the RKO banned and Kane guarding the door. We also have Roman Reigns vs. Big Show in a last man standing match and Rusev vs. Cena III in a Russian chain match. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Bad News Barrett on the pre-show to tell us that Daniel Bryan isn’t here tonight to defend the Intercontinental Title. Since Bryan can’t be here, let’s bring out Neville for a replacement so he can take the Bullhammer destined to go upside Bryan’s head.

Bad News Barrett vs. Neville

The fans are entirely behind Neville as Barrett grabs a headlock to start. Neville takes him to the mat and hooks a nice rollup for two before the front flips have Barrett even more confused. A dropkick sends him to the floor but Barrett trips Neville up to take over. Back from a break with Barrett holding a chinlock before throwing Neville into the air for a kick to the ribs and two. A big boot to the face gets the same on Neville and Barrett follows up with a nice slingshot backbreaker.

The second chinlock doesn’t last as long, allowing Neville to fire off some kicks to the ribs to send Barrett outside, setting up the big spinning dive from Neville. Back in and Barrett catches him going up before planting Neville with Winds of Change for two. Wasteland gets a VERY close two but the Bullhammer misses, allowing Neville to hit an enziguri. The Red Arrow is broken up but Barrett misses another Bullhammer. A second kick to the head sets up the Red Arrow from (Cole: “Adrian”) Neville for the pin at 10:40.

Rating: C+. Well that’s a surprise. Neville getting the win is a big deal as it’s his biggest pin ever, even if everyone and their mother pin Barrett. In theory this sets up a feud between the two of them over who gets the title shot whenever Bryan comes back, if he does at all.

The opening video talks about how this is the most extreme night of the year and focuses on Rusev vs. Cena and Rollins vs. Orton. Again, it makes sense to add gimmicks so it’s not just the same show as last month without the big stage.

Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose

Street fight, meaning the fall must take place in the ring. Dean takes over to start and knocks Harper to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and we get the kendo sticks to Harper’s back, followed by a chair being thrown inside. Dean sits down and licks his lips until Harper comes back and suplexes him through the chair. Luke starts going after the knee with the kendo stick before wedging a chair in the corner.

In a unique spot, Harper LAUNCHES Dean face first into the chair for two as the fans stay behind Ambrose. Back up and a tornado DDT gives Dean a breather as the fans want tables. Luke counters Dirty Deeds and the rebound clothesline before they head back to the floor. Dean’s suicide dive is countered with a shove, so Dean does a kind of 619 and comes back with a clothesline in a cool spot.

They fight to the back with Luke being rammed into various things. Luke goes behind a wall and the camera has to run around to find him. THANK YOU! I can’t remember the last time that happened but it drives me absolutely insane when there’s a camera waiting on them. Harper and Dean get inside a car…….and drive away with the referee in the back. So I’m guessing the match is still going and continues later in the night?

HHH tells Kane to find that car before those two hurt someone. Rollins comes in and tells them to calm down because this is a big night. Kane goes off on Rollins and calls him a punk, but HHH wants things calm head into the main event. Kane better not screw up though. The fans could be heard calling this boring and I can’t say I disagree. Don’t put this stuff on the pay per view. We know the story is boring by now so don’t make it even worse.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

The winner has to kiss the winner’s….uh yeah. Sheamus shoves him away to start but Ziggler comes back with forearms to the face. A dropkick staggers the big man and they fight to the floor. Ziggler is thrown at the steps but jumps on top of them for the slingshot DDT to stun Sheamus even more. Back in and Sheamus hits something like a Brogue Knee to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Dolph fights up with another dropkick, only to get caught in a sitout powerbomb for two more.

Sheamus starts talking trash and follows it up with another devastating, yes DEVASTATING I say, chinlock. It’s not devastating enough to prevent Ziggler from fighting up with right hands and a splash in the corner. The neckbreaker is countered and Sheamus nails a running ax handle, only to walk into a superkick for two. Sheamus plants him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as they’re trading big shots here. The Brogue Kick misses and Ziggler rolls him up for two before a rolling cradle is enough to pin Sheamus at 9:25.

Rating: C+. This was just a TV match with a quick ending but the two worked pretty well together. The idea here was to have Ziggler bounce off Sheamus and make all the power moves look good, which he excels at. Solid enough match here, even if the gimmick was really stupid.

Post match Sheamus takes nearly five minutes to do what he’s supposed to do but of course he hits Ziggler low and gives him a Brogue Kick before making Ziggler kiss up to him like a heel should.

Long video on what’s coming on the Network.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro

Kidd/Cesaro are defending and are the default heels here. Cole says that it’s Kofi and Big E. Langston for the New Day. Kofi takes Kidd to the mat to start but Tyson wraps the arm around the ropes to take over. Off to Big E. vs. Cesaro with Cesaro catching Big E.’s leapfrog in midair and throwing him into the corner. It’s back to Kidd as the champions stomp Big E. to the tune of New Day Sucks in an awesome moment. Tyson sends both challengers to the floor for a suicide cannonball dive on Kofi, only to have Big E. clothesline him down. Fans: “NEW DAY! SUCKS!” Woods: “WHAT DID WE DO??? WE’RE WINNING!”

Back in and Kofi hits a basement dropkick in the corner before we hit the chinlock. Big E. misses the splash and gets low bridged to the floor, allowing for the hot tag to Cesaro. The Swing is teased but it’s a catapult into the corner, where Kofi jumps to the top for a spinning cross body, but Cesaro catches him in mid air for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Cesaro’s apron superplex sets up the springboard elbow from Kidd for two, only to have Big E. dive through the ropes to spear Kidd down.

Back in and the Midnight Hour gets two on Kidd with Cesaro making the save. Kofi gets caught in the Sharpshooter and this time it’s E.’s turn to make the save. There’s the Swing into the dropkick but Woods gets on the apron for a distraction, only to be taken out by Natalya. Kofi uses the distraction to slide in with a rollup and a handful of trunks for the pin and the titles at 9:37.

Rating: B+. I had a really good time with this as Cesaro and Kidd are one of the most polished teams for such a short amount of time together as you’ll ever see. Hopefully these teams have several more matches together as they’ve got great chemistry and work together really well. Awesome match here and I’d love to see more of it.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit and talks about Neville vs. Barrett.

New Day celebrates their win as Ambrose and Harper return. They fight back to the arena and throw a bunch of weapons into the ring. Harper hits a quick powerbomb onto the chairs for two but takes too long putting Dean under the chairs, allowing Ambrose to toss him onto the steel. Dirty Deeds connects for the pin at somewhere around 59:00.

Rating: D+. So uh….what the heck was the point of this? If they had done something like Mankind vs. HHH at In Your House XVI where they kept fighting all throughout the night this would have been fun but instead it was three fourths of a match, then a 50 minute break, then a quick finish. Were they just five minutes short or something?

Long recap of Cena vs. Rusev. They traded wins at the previous two pay per views but tonight Cena is defending the US Title in a Russian chain match.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rusev

Russian chain match of the four corners variety, meaning forward momentum has to be maintained or your streak of corners is erased. They start with a tug of war and Cena gets three quick buckles, followed by Rusev getting two of his own. Rusev sends him to the floor and suplexes him over the ropes for two buckles but Cena hits him with the chain to break it up. They head outside with Rusev being pulled into the post, knocking him half silly in the process.

Cena gets two buckles but Rusev wraps his legs around the ropes for the save. Rusev scores with the spinwheel kick and chains Cena in the back a few times but can only get two buckles. For some reason Rusev goes up top, only to get pulled down onto the chain. Cena starts his finishing sequence but gets caught in the fall away slam, setting up the jumping superkick. The fans want Lana so she gets on the apron, only to be ejected by Rusev. Cena hits his usual stuff but the AA is countered into the Alabama Slam.

The Accolade is reversed into the STF and the rope Rusev grabs means nothing. Rusev pulls him down and hooks the Accolade so Cena gets to his feet and drives Rusev into two corners. He collapses from the hold though and Rusev hits the third, only to walk into the AA to break the streak. Back up and they both quickly get three, setting up a tug of war over the fourth. Rusev rushes for it but Cena pulls him into the AA and slaps the fourth to retain at 13:35.

Rating: C. I’m actually surprised but they did find a different way to end the thing. That being said, these matches can only be so good as the gimmick gets in the way of the match. Other than the match being called a Russian chain match, there’s no distinct advantage here for Rusev and it makes for a pretty average match. Not bad or anything, but I’ll never want to watch this again.

Roman Reigns talks about how he’ll keep getting up and win the last man standing match tonight.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Naomi

Nikki is defending and Naomi got the shot after attacking Paige, who had won a battle royal to earn the title match. Naomi has new music, stupid looking glasses and shoes that light up. Nikki puts on an armbar to start but gets suplexed down for two. The shoes are already really distracting as Naomi hooks a chinlock. Back up and Nikki avoids the Rear View but Naomi stops to dance a bit.

Naomi charges into an elbow in the corner and the Alabama Slam gets two. Back up and Naomi gets the same off a falling reverse DDT. A quick Bubba Bomb into a rollup gets the same but Nikki comes back with something like a Beautiful Disaster from the middle rope for two. Brie gets in a cheap shot on Naomi, setting up the Rack Attack to retain the title at 7:17. Those are our new heroes?

Rating: C. The Bellas (they’re a collective entity in my mind at this point) are acceptable in the ring and improving, but they’re far too annoying to make me ever care about/like them, especially with the one not in the match shouting COME ON *insert other sister’s name here* a dozen times a match. It also doesn’t help that they might be the worst written characters I’ve seen in years with the stories starting and stopping and them suddenly being faces with no reason given. Also their Total Divas personas haven’t done them any favors. Somehow this is going to wind up as the Funkadactyls vs. Bellas isn’t it?

Rusev yells at Lana and storms off. Lana hangs her head and walks into the Authority’s locker room. That’s something I guess and the fans gasped when they saw whose room it was.

We recap Reigns vs. Big Show, which exists to prove that there is a devil and his name is Vince McMahon.

Roman Reigns vs. Big Show

Last man standing. They slug it out to start and Reigns knocks Show to the floor before getting an early table. Big Show shoves it back under the ring so Reigns posts him, setting up the apron kick for five. The table reappears and is set up at ringside but Big Show breaks it with his fists so Reigns can’t put him through it.

Reigns opts for a kendo stick and nails Show with it a few times, only to have Show break it apart, saying he’s a giant. Thanks for pointing that out. Show goes into his slow offense and the fans chant BORING, so Reigns gets a chair and blasts Show about ten times to put him down. A DDT on the chair stuns Show and allows Reigns to get two tables. The delay lets Show get back up for the KO Punch though, sending Reigns down for eight.

Show is annoyed so Roman hits a Samoan drop through the table. Back up and Big Show hits a spear, followed by the most polite, least impactful Vader Bomb you’ll ever see. Reigns gets to his feet so Show goes up, only to get slammed down for almost no reaction. Two Superman Punches connect but Show catches the third and chokeslams Roman over the top and through the two tables Reigns set up earlier.

Naturally it only gets nine so Big Show leaves Reigns alone as he sets up the announcers’ table. In a funny bit, Show sees the announcers’ notes that say he needs to lose weight and yells at JBL. Back in and Reigns avoids a charge through a table in the corner, setting up a spear for eight.

Show rolls outside so Reigns spears him through the barricade for a spot we’ve seen before. It doesn’t help that Show was motionless at seven and on his feet at nine. Show loads up a chokeslam on the table but Reigns escapes and runs the tables to spear Show through the Spanish table for eight. Reigns finally buries Show under the table for the win at 19:43.

Rating: C+. The worst part? The match wasn’t really even that bad. Just too long though and the ending didn’t do what they were hoping. Why did they need to have the table cover him when they could have done the spear for the win? In other words, it was a table that kept Show down instead of Reigns. Great way to make your next big star look awesome there guys. This could have been WAY worse, but the lack of crowd interest had them dead on arrival.

Randy Orton tells Kane that the Authority will turn on him.

We look at some Tough Enough applications.

Here’s Bo Dallas, who wants to know why Chicago is the Second City when they’re clearly #1! That would be #1 at rejecting someone trying to make their lives better. The people here shouldn’t worry about how extreme the rules get because they should be worrying about bo-lieving. Cue Ryback and the obvious happens.

Rusev is annoyed about the loss when Lana comes in and says it’s done. There will be one more match between Cena and Rusev at Payback and it’s I Quit.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

In a cage with Rollins defending, the RKO banned and Kane guarding the cage door. Pinfall, submission or escape to win. Rollins goes for the cage twice early and Randy pulls him down on the second attempt. A third attempt goes just as badly so Rollins climbs one more time and sends Orton into the cage to take over for a change. Seth gets reversed into the cage again and the chase is on up the cage wall with Orton making a save.

Rollins almost escapes again and this time the Stooges come out to help, only to have Orton superplex him off the top for a big crash and two. Kane yells at the Stooges as Orton can’t follow up. To change up the pace of the escape counters, Orton crotches him on the top rope instead. The Elevated DDT plants Rollins and Lawler is already proclaiming Orton the next champion.

Orton loads up the RKO but opts for a decent looking Pedigree for two instead. The fans chant YES as Orton loads up the Punt but Rollins ducks to the side and hits a quick enziguri. Kane is told to open the door and obeys the champ but Randy is right there with the backbreaker to stop Rollins again.

The door stays open so Orton stops to think about it, but the threat of Kane sends him back. That threat proves to be well founded a Kane slams the door when Orton tries to leave. Randy does the smart thing by kicking the door at Kane before it turns into a fight to escape. Kane slams the door on both men and takes off his jacket, so the Stooges send Kane into the cage. The monster chokeslams both guys and loads up a tombstone on Orton, only to have Randy escape and RKO Kane. Seth uses the distraction to RKO Orton, allowing him to escape and retain at 20:50.

Rating: C. This wasn’t terrible but it took longer than it should have and ended with a pretty lame surprise. They were treating the RKO from Rollins like Austin siding with Vince when it was really just a technicality. The match was good enough but the gimmick continues to drag things down. Some of the early escape attempts were good though.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would but it still wasn’t a blow away show. Unfortunately we seem to be heading for round 3 of multiple feuds at Payback, despite there being very little left for these people to fight over. Definitely a watchable show, but can we please get some fresh ideas on top? Like, even adding someone else to Orton vs. Rollins and no Kane doesn’t count. Better than I was expecting but still not great.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus – Rolling cradle

New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper – Dirty Deeds

John Cena b. Rusev – Cena touched the fourth buckle

Nikki Bella b. Naomi – Rack Attack

Roman Reigns b. Big Show – Show couldn’t answer the ten count

Seth Rollins b. Randy Orton – Rollins escaped the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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With just six days to go until Extreme Rules, WWE has a long way to go to get me interested in the show. It isn’t likely helping that they’re just back from the big European tour and are likely to be jetlagged half to death. The big story is likely to be more build between Rollins and Orton, who are loading up for a pretty lackluster title match. Oh and Kane because of reasons I don’t understand.

Orton opened the show in a cage, promising to hurt Seth this Sunday and take the title. Rollins and the Stooges came out and told him to get this out of his system now because it won’t work on Sunday. This sounds appealing to Randy, who promises RKO’s all night.

I really, really didn’t care for this segment as it’s more of the old standard walking you through everything they’re doing that night instead of doing anything that feels organic or natural. Why do they have to tell us everything they’re going to do instead of SHOWING US everything they want to do? Just have Orton start RKOing everyone backstage and let the fans go “oh that was cool” instead of sitting around waiting for it. Not a fan here but this story isn’t exactly one that inspires intellectual stimulation.

Ambrose and Harper had a quick non-match to set up their street fight on Sunday. These two could have an entertaining brawl if they’re allowed to just go nuts.

The Prime Time Players continued their recent awesome run by scaring the daylights out of Rollins and the Stooges, who are terrified of Orton attacking them. HHH popped up and laughed off their worries, as well as mentioned Kane because that’s the big story around here.

New Day, now fully heel, cheated to earn a title shot on Sunday over the Lucha Dragons via countout. Notice that they didn’t just have the Dragons get pinned here to kill their momentum. Instead, the faces (or faceless ones actually) lose because the heels cheated, keeping them strong and making the heels look like cheaters. That’s common sense booking and hopefully something that we see more often.

Orton came out and RKO’ed Kingston (with a botch as Kofi wasn’t ready to be thrown into the air, which looked really bad. He’s done) and Woods. This would be more of the theme that they made VERY CLEAR earlier in the night in case you were too stupid to figure out that Orton is RKOing everyone he can on a path to Rollins. That’s a bit too complicated for wrestling fans I suppose.

Fandango beat Curtis Axel in the weekly filler.

HHH announced the return of Tough Enough and most people didn’t seem to care. Could it be because outside of John Morrison, the most successful winner had a career highlight of eliminating Undertaker from the Royal Rumble and having the most amazing eyebrows in the history of wrestling?

Anyway the REAL story here was Kane coming out and tried to quit his job as Director of Operations because he’s tired of Rollins disrespecting him. Rollins came out and argued a lot as this story just won’t die already. HHH made them shake hands after Kane said the Rollins was just in the right place at the right time and anyone could have been made champion in his place. They kept arguing after a break and Rollins vs. Ziggler was made for later tonight.

Then the Bellas decided they were good now and Nikki shouted COME ON BRIE about 100 times to show off her new found goodness as Brie lost to Naomi. This would be the polar opposite of the “here’s what we’re going to do” booking as instead of showing you every step, they’re just at the end already without any real reason.

Think about it. The Bellas went from being full on villains to halfway down the spectrum in a week and for what? Mainly because WWE screwed up and turned almost the entire Divas division heel. I know I get on the Bellas quite a bit (which I still say they deserve a huge amount of) but the direction of their characters and sudden drastic changes to their characters have been some of the most jarring and worst ideas I have ever seen in wrestling. That being said, they don’t do themselves any favors with their average at best matches and BRIE MODE/COME ON BRIE!

Randy Orton RKOed Heath Slater into his salad. See, THIS is the kind of surprise moment they should have been going with all night instead of telling us the idea.

Roman Reigns wanted Big Show but got Bo Dallas. Superman Punches, spears and Reigns saying Bo-lieve that abounded in a fun little segment.

Sheamus massacred Zack Ryder until Dolph Ziggler came in for the save. This was fine to get the point across.

Cena issued the open challenge and had a horrible match with Kane to retain the title. Here’s a sign of Cena’s greatness: he has bad matches with Kane and Big Show, but name someone else he doesn’t bring up to a higher level. If there are only two people in his career where it doesn’t work, he’s roughly 100 steps above most other talent. Rusev would attack Cena later in the night to set up the title match Sunday.

Bray Wyatt talked about how his new target can’t lift his way out of this one. That makes me think Ryback, which could be a nice surprise or a disaster, though they’ve been treating Ryback like a monster again, which is certainly a good thing.

Miz beat Mizdow in less than three minutes when Summer Rae turned on Mizdow in one of the most obvious heel turns this side of Big Show turn #1894. So to recap, Mizdow takes forever to turn on Miz, loses the battle royal to Big Show after getting really close, then loses two out of the three matches to Miz. Why do I even bother getting behind someone when their big goal is to build someone up to sacrifice them on the altar of WWE Studios? Miz got an RKO to emphasize that the entire Miz vs. Mizdow story meant nothing.

Ryback mauled Adam Rose and then beat up a hot dog and banana.

Kane and Rollins bickered some more with Rollins offering an apology.

Rollins vs. Ziggler was every Rollins vs. Ziggler match you’ve ever seen. The cage lowered post match so Rollins could hide from Kane. If you don’t know what was waiting for him when he turned around to end the show, you haven’t been paying close enough attention.

Raw really wasn’t very good this week and so much of it revolves around how lame the main stories have been. Kane was the focal point of the show this week with this never ending argument with Rollins, which seems destined to result in Kane screwing Orton over on Sunday and the Authority revealing it was all a huge swerve that we never saw coming. The wrestling was nothing to see this week either and it made for a really weak three hours. Extreme Rules and these rematches need to be gone soon, as does Kane’s never ending main event run. He just isn’t interesting and it’s killing the rest of the card.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 20, 2015
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re six days away from Extreme Rules and the card is all set. The main event will be Seth Rollins’ first title defense as he takes on Randy Orton in a cage match with the RKO banned for Orton. As for tonight, one of the major stories will be Kane’s continuing issues with the Authority, as the monster has been having issues with his bosses in the last few weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Orton and Rollins earning the right to pick stipulations for the title match on last week’s show.

Here’s Randy Orton as a cage is lowered. He thinks Rollins screwed up with his choice because the RKO isn’t his greatest weapon. Orton’s best weapon is the ability to hurt people in any way that he possibly can. This Sunday, he’s going to break Rollins’ jaw so he can’t run his mouth anymore. Then he’s going to stomp Seth’s ribs until they break. After that, Rollins is going to be sent into the cage so many times that every bone in his body hurts. Then and only then will Orton leave the cage as the new WWE Champion.

Cue Rollins and the Stooges with what sounds like some new music. He talks about Orton having anger issues but Randy cuts him off and says that his issues are with Seth Rollins. Seth laughs it off and says he plays this game of human chess better than anyone because he can outmaneuver anyone inside that ring. He’s the best at everything here and just that much better than Orton. Seth tells him to get it out of his system and Orton thinks that’s a good idea. After this segment is over, he’s going to go backstage and RKO everyone he can find, including Rollins himself.

Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

You would think they would save this for Sunday. Harper actually talks on the way to the ring, saying Ambrose will fear him after tonight. The brawl is on fast to start with Harper getting caught in a bulldog, only to superkick Dean down and hammer him in the back of the head. Dean takes him outside and sends Harper into the apron and announcers’ table, only to be tossed over the barricade and into the crowd. They keep fighting up the ramp and the match has been thrown out at somewhere around 2:00.

Harper loads up a powerbomb off the stage but Dean escapes and sends Harper running.

Orton and the Stooges are checking for Orton around every corner when the Prime Time Players sneak up and do the dog bark to scare them out of their wits in a funny bit. O’Neil and Noble have a quick exchange with Noble being called a Smurf before Rollins yells at a production guy. They run into HHH who says he’s been hearing from Kane as he’s been preparing for Tough Enough. Kane will be here later and Rollins requests some more security. HHH says Orton is just one guy and leaves.

Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

#1 contenders match. Kofi and Cara get things going with Woods on the floor as usual. Both guys tag before anything happens and grabs Kalisto, who tries every spin he can but eventually settles for a kick to the head. A headscissors works a bit better and it’s quickly off to Cara for a springboard forearm to the head for two. It’s quickly back to Kofi vs. Cara and they actually do something this time with Cara armdragging Kingston but getting sent to the floor for a baseball slide to take over.

Back to Big E. who runs Cara over as we take a break. We come back to see Kofi dropkicking Cara in the face before handing it off to Big E. for some clubbing shots to the face. Cara dives over Big E. and makes the tag to Kalisto to clean house, including the headscissor driver to Kofi for two. Kofi gets backdropped to the floor, setting up stereo moonsaults to take New Day down again. Everyone tries to get back in but Woods holds Cara’s foot to send New Day to Extreme Rules via countout at 9:34.

Rating: B-. This really got going at the end and Woods interfering was the right idea. It’s going to be interesting to see heel vs. heel on Sunday but the match should be entertaining. Good stuff here though and a good showcase for the Dragons, who only lose due to the interference and the numbers game.

Post match Orton comes in and RKOs Woods and Kingston (with a slight botch as Kofi wasn’t ready to be thrown into the air, so there goes his push again). Big E. runs away instead.

We recap Rusev attacking Cena to set up the Russian Chain match on Sunday.

Recap of Big Show attacking Reigns last week on Raw and his speech on Thursday to set up the Last Man Standing match on Sunday. Maybe their solution to the ratings issue is to have Big Show put everyone to sleep so they can’t change the channel.

Fandango vs. Curtis Axel

Speaking of don’t change the channel. Axel dances a bit to start but takes too long tearing off the shirt, allowing Fandango to roll him up for two. A Falcon Arrow plants Curtis and the Last Dance is good for the pin at 1:16.

Here’s HHH to talk about the return of Tough Enough. A year ago, the Authority was at a crossroads. They needed to find that one man to carry the company for the next ten years and they found that man in Seth Rollins. Now it’s time to find the next Seth Rollins. That search will begin right here on USA with the return of Tough Enough on June 23. Who hasn’t dreamed of walking down the ramp in front of 76,000 people with the WWE Championship hanging above your head? Right now is your chance to fulfill that dream and you can do that on Tough Enough.

HHH walks us through the application process but gets cut off by Kane. “You’re a little bit seasoned for Tough Enough.” Kane asks why HHH hasn’t responded to the voicemails, texts and emails but HHH says he’s just been letting Kane cool down. It’s been an honor to be Director of Operations, but Kane can’t deal with the disrespect of Seth Rollins so this is his official two weeks’ notice. HHH tries to talk him down but here are Rollins and the Stooges to interrupt. Kane and Rollins start arguing again despite HHH telling them to cool it.

Kane shouts that Rollins is only champion because the Authority decided he was going to be. Would it have been different if they had recruited Dean Ambrose or El Torito? That’s finally enough for HHH (a big Torito fan I guess) who makes Kane guardian of the cage door on Sunday. Seth isn’t cool with this but HHH says the two of them need to get along. A tense handshake ends things.

We recap Paige winning the Divas battle royal but getting attacked by Naomi after the win.

Kane and Rollins are already arguing in the back but HHH comes up and says Kane has lost the hellfire and brimstone. Kane is going to prove him wrong tonight. Rollins smirks a bit but HHH rips him apart, saying the title doesn’t make him the man. Therefore, tonight it’s Rollins vs. Ziggler with Rollins getting to prove himself. Rollins likes the idea, despite almost cowering before HHH.

Naomi vs. Brie Bella

No dancing this week. Naomi’s inset interview talks about how many times she’s had to beat a Bella to get her shot but constantly being told to wait her turn. Nikki sits in on commentary and talks about still being champion as Naomi slides across the mat and kicks Brie in the face. Naomi nips out of a headscissors and Nikki says she’ll fight anyone anytime. Some kicks to the ribs sent Brie to the floor and the show to a break.

Back with Naomi holding a front facelock and slowly stomping Brie around the ring. We hit a chinlock before a double clothesline puts both girls down. Brie fights up and does a face comeback with a middle rope dropkick getting two. Naomi misses a high cross body but hits the Rear View for the pin at 10:01.

Rating: D. They’re turning the Bellas face aren’t they? After all the nonsense we’ve had to put up with from them over the last year and most of the roster wrestling circles around them, now we’re supposed to cheer for them for reasons that have yet to be explained and likely never will be explained. But they’re STARS so that’s what matters right?

Heath Slater tells Erick Rowan that he’s accepting the open challenge for the US Title tonight. Rowan walks away and Slater is RKOed through his salad. Orton even eats some lettuce.

Here’s Roman Reigns to address what happened last week. He wants to fight right now so get out here Big Show. Instead he gets Bo Dallas, who quotes Yoda from Star Wars Episode I, saying that hate leads to suffering. Reigns is suffering after losing at Wrestlemania and is kind of a bust. Despite being Captain Kevlar, Reigns is the Tim Tebow of the WWE: constantly getting chances and screwing up every time. The Superman Punch and spear destroy Dallas as you would expect. Reigns is going to take Big Show out on Sunday, and you can bo-lieve that. I forgot how much I liked Dallas.

Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder

Sheamus says ring the bell and kicks Ryder in the face at three seconds. He slowly turns him over and says that’s too easy. Ryder deserves more than a five second match so Sheamus slowly beats him up in the corner while talking trash on the mic about how the people in this crowd don’t belong in his ring.

That’s a good idea actually as he throws Ryder to the floor and keeps talking about how he’s the real superstar. There’s another Brogue Kick on the floor and Sheamus asks about the New York fighting spirit. He loads up another Brogue Kick but Ziggler runs in for a Zig Zag to send Sheamus running. It’s a DQ win for Sheamus at 3:14 despite the lack of a bell. No rating for obvious reasons.

There’s going to be another live Talk Is Jericho on April 30. The guest: Stephanie McMahon. Just in case you thought the Cena interview was WAY too company friendly.

Here’s Cena for the Open Challenge but first he needs to explain the rules of the Russian Chain match on Sunday. He’ll never give up you see. Rusev is trying to kill the fighting spirit of America but Cena is going to get back up every time he gets knocked down. This Sunday, he’s getting his hand raised and dropping the American flag to prove that Wrestlemania was a statement. As for tonight, someone can come get some but know it’s going to be against a Cena who is ready to fight.

US Title: John Cena vs. Kane

Kane throws Cena around to start and hits the VINTAGE side slam. He kicks Cena to the floor for a nine count and slowly stomps away back inside. Kane follows up the slow stomping with a slow uppercut for two and an elbow gets the same. Cena finally comes back with the ProtoBomb but as is his custom, Kane grabs him by the throat as Cena loads up the Shuffle. Chokeslam gets two but Cena counters the tombstone into the AA for the pin at 6:18. Rollins and the Stooges chuckle in the back.

Rating: D. I’ve seen sparklers with more fire than Kane was showing here. This was five and a half minutes of slow punching before they did the finishing sequence. It doesn’t help that Kane is one of the few people that can bring Cena down to a level that almost no one else can. Bad match here and hopefully the last time they use the open challenge for another story.

Bray Wyatt asks if people want money, power or respect. Most of the time it’s everything, just like whomever he’s talking about. That person can lift all the weights in the world, but he can never lift the weight of his personal failures. After that moment, he’ll see Bray’s face looking own at him. At that moment, the person will learn that everything he has done has been for nothing. Behold the new face of fear.

Post break Kane walks past HHH and snarls.

Miz says the only thing that matters is his new movie and the fact that he did it without a stunt double. Renee cuts him off and says we need to go to John Cena.

Cena was surprised by Kane answering the challenge but says the champ will be here on Sunday. Rusev jumps him with the chain and puts him in the Accolade with the chain around Cena’s face.

Miz vs. Damien Mizdow

The winner gets the Miz brand and Summer Rae is with Mizdow. Mizdow goes for the rollup early on but Miz gets away just in time. Cole talks about someone saying the Miz brand is useless. He doesn’t disagree with the statement of course and just keeps going with the commentary.

Miz gets two off a small package and stomps away in the corner to take over. Mizdow comes back with the Reality Check and a discus clothesline in the corner. The low DDT gets two on Miz but neither guy can hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Summer rakes Mizdow’s eyes, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale from Miz for the pin at 2:47.

Miz loads up his catchphrase but eats an RKO. JBL: “He wouldn’t do that to Brad Pitt!” Booker: “He’d do it to Lorenzo Lamas!”

We run down the Extreme Rules card. Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett is subject to Bryan’s health. Also added is Ambrose vs. Harper in a street fight.

Bray Wyatt asks if people want money, power or respect. Most of the time it’s everything, just like whomever he’s talking about. That person can lift all the weights in the world, but he can never lift the weight of his personal failures. After that moment, he’ll see Bray’s face looking own at him. At that moment, the person will learn that everything he has done has been for nothing. Behold the new face of fear.

Adam Rose vs. Ryback

Rose gets in some shots before Ryback’s two move combination ends this at 1:30.

The hot dog and the banana attack Ryback post match so it’s a double Shell Shock. Ryback: “What did the banana say to the hot dog? Nothing because they just got Shell Shocked!”

Renee Young reads Kane some Tweets from Rollins and the Stooges about Kane being old. Kane goes into the Authority’s locker room and Seth actually says he’s sorry because that was supposed to be a private conversation. The Orton thing has him out of sorts so he’s going to dedicate the match with Ziggler to Kane. The camera follows Rollins and the Stooges out. Orton is watching them.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title. Rollins hammers away to start but Ziggler grabs his neckbreaker and drops the big elbow for two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Ziggler quickly throws him back inside for a suplex. Rollins catapults him into the buckle as we take a break. Back with Rollins slamming Ziggler’s head onto the mat and stomping even more.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dolph comes back with the running DDT for two. Rollins gets the same off an enziguri but the Buckle Bomb is countered into a sunset flip. Ziggler hits a sweet superkick for two more but Sheamus comes out for a distraction, allowing Rollins to hit the Buckle Bomb and a snap front DDT (think Christian’s layout reverse DDT but with Dolph facing down) for the pin at 10:35.

Rating: B-. Sheamus interfering made sense but I REALLY hope that isn’t the replacement for the Curb Stomp (which has apparently been banned due to the danger of head injuries). Ziggler is a good opponent for someone like Rollins as a loss to the champ doesn’t hurt anyone and he can make Rollins look good in the process. Good match here but they never hit a higher gear.

Post match HHH comes out and cuts on Rollins’ bragging. Seth takes the mic away and keeps talking about how he’s going to take care of Orton this Sunday. As for Kane, HHH needs to stop……something but an angry Kane cuts him off. Rollins asks the cage to be lowered and of course Orton is inside. Seth tries to run but gets pulled off the top into an RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show did its job of setting up Extreme Rules, but it doesn’t help that Extreme Rules isn’t the best looking show in the world. What is there on that show that I should be looking forward to? I’ll say this though: I thought the same thing going into Wrestlemania this year and was blown away so maybe they can nail it twice in a row. Tonight’s show wasn’t terrible but it really didn’t have much to keep me interested. Too many short matches or matches that build uninteresting angles. Hopefully Sunday is stronger, as this wasn’t the best show in the world, but the post Europe show rarely works.

Results

Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper went to a no contest

New Day b. Lucha Dragons via countout

Fandango b. Curtis Axel – Last Dance

Naomi b. Brie Bella – Rear View

Sheamus b. Zack Ryder via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

John Cena b. Kane – Attitude Adjustment

Miz b. Damien Mizdow – Skull Crushing Finale

Ryback b. Adam Rose – Shell Shock

Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Falling DDT

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 17, 2003
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

With two shows to go before Wrestlemania, it’s really hard to care about what’s going on right now. Is it really any wonder why Smackdown was beating them at this point? Rock is trying as hard as he can on these shows but my goodness he needs ANYTHING else to help him carry things. Maybe that can be Shawn vs. Jericho but it would help if they actually did something. Let’s get to it.

We open, again, with Bischoff, who says that his match with Austin will be a handicap match. He makes it even bigger by saying the Raw superstars will be the lumberjacks. Thanks for clarifying that as I was thinking it might be, like, the 1984 Atlanta Hawks or the cast of Tremors: The Series.

Chief Morley/Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

Morley threatens the Dudleys with SEVERE consequences if they interfere here. The fans chant USA which tells me one of two things: they want Van Dam to win this on his own or they have no idea that Kane is from Spain. The monster slugs Morley down in the corner and drops him with a clothesline before tagging Van Dam in for the first time. Something like Rolling Thunder gets two on Morley but he drops Van Dam on the top rope to take over.

Rob’s attempts at speeding things up again are broken up by Lance grabbing his leg (clearly still mad at Rob’s post match promo at Barely Legal), allowing the Chief to get two off a good DDT. Morley shows some intelligence by going after the legs but Rob gets two off a rollup and brings Kane back in. Storm gets a tag as well and Kane beats him up as a greeting. The top rope clothesline plants Storm but Morley makes the save, only to get kicked in the face by Van Dam. Everything breaks down and Kane chokeslams Storm for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m so glad Vitamin C beat Kane and Van Dam last week. It makes so much more sense after this match you see. Kane and Van Dam are one of the hottest acts on the show and thankfully they’re getting a nice push as a result. I mean, I can’t picture them taking the titles off of whatever combination of Morley/Storm/Regal winds up with the belts but they’re hot at the moment and make for a good opening match.

Morley rolls away from a post match Five Star but the Dudleys come out…..and put Kane through a table. Well of course they do.

Post break the Dudleys say they hate what they just had to do but need to feed their families. Simple story but at least it makes sense and was an actual explanation for a change.

Here are HHH and Flair with something to say. The champ doesn’t like the idea of Booker thinking that he deserves a title shot so get out here right now and take this beating like a man. Instead he gets Goldust, which isn’t exactly what he had in mind. JR screams that he’s back despite being on the show last week. Goldust says that HHH’s performance may have been Oscar worthy, but deep down (“down there”) in the cock cock cockles of his heart, he must know that you can’t judge a book by its cornbread. This still isn’t funny if that wasn’t clear.

HHH and Flair crack up and HHH imitates the catchphrases with the stutter, so Goldust lays both guys out. That lasts as long as you would expect it to but Booker T. comes out to save us from the stupid angle and Goldust from a Pedigree. They do realize the WORLD TITLE match is in 13 days right? And this is the best they can do? Goldust saying unfunny lines after being electrocuted is supposed to set up a World Title match at the biggest show of the year? I’m starting to understand why this show is so hated.

HHH wants Goldust later tonight.

Rico vs. Maven

You can literally see them going to the concession stands as the bell rings. They trade headlocks to start and Maven shifts over into an armbar. Can you blame the sudden nacho runs? Oh wait let’s cut to Rock arriving, which is probably more interesting than what we’ve got going on here. Rico scores with some kicks, aided by a cheap shot from Jamal and Rosey. Maven comes back with kicks and a neckbreaker, followed by a bulldog for two. More 3MW interference sets up a neckbreaker but Maven counters into a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh just…..yeah. This is another good example of having no idea what else to do with your two hours so they just throw two guys out there to kill the crowd. Maybe it would help if you had some stories to tell instead of HHH crushing everyone in sight and Rock having to do whatever he can to drag a bored Austin to one last match. Or maybe you could have a midcard title instead of having HHH be CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING.

Shawn and Austin had a discussion about Shawn being a lumberjack. This is news, despite Bischoff saying the entire roster would be at ringside. Austin, as expected, really doesn’t care.

Teddy Long tells Rock that Rodney Mack will take care of Hurricane next. Rodney Mack says the same thing, marking the biggest moment of his career: that time he was on camera with the Rock.

Hurricane vs. Rodney Mack

Mack gets rolled up for an early two and Hurricane elbows him in the jaw for good measure, only to have Teddy Long grab his foot to break it up. Rodney drops some elbows for two but Hurricane hits his usual, including the Shining Wizard. The high cross body and Blockbuster look to set up the chokeslam but Rock runs in for the DQ. This is where the booking goes out the window as there was no reason for Hurricane to not get a pin here. The DQ was just a waste, but at least Hurricane didn’t get pinned.

Rock beats him down post match with stomps and a chair. The idea is supposed to be that Rock is losing his cool over Austin, which they’re somehow doing without having Austin show up that often.

Jazz/Trish Stratus vs. Victoria/Steven Richards

Trish vs. Victoria vs. Jazz is set for Wrestlemania. Maybe this match can go on longer than 20 seconds. Before the match we get a creepy video of Victoria sounding like she wants to sleep with the title. Jazz and Victoria slap it out to start with the former getting the better of it but Victoria gets two off a powerslam. That’s fine with Jazz who gets the same result off the same move, but shockingly enough, NO ONE CARES ABOUT JAZZ. Off to Trish to wake the fans up a bit, including due to a Chick Kick for two.

A victory roll is quickly countered with a faceplant as Lawler says he’d always hook Trish’s leg. Steven tries to get involved and gets Victoria’s head shoved into his crotch. The Stratusphere takes Steven down but Victoria throws her around by the hair. Lawler freaks out over a shot of Trish’s chest but she avoids a slingshot legdrop. Richards crotches himself in the corner and Jazz short arms Trish on a tag attempt. A Sky High from Richards sets up the Widow’s Peak to give Victoria the pin.

Rating: D+. Was there really no one else they could put in this story other than Jazz? The fans like Victoria and Trish but my goodness they just died once Jazz came in. Oh and then she walked out on the match and fans still didn’t care. There are some wrestlers that fans just can’t get behind no matter what and Jazz is one of them.

Jeff Hardy runs out to save Trish and gets a kiss for his efforts.

Video on Shawn’s career at Wrestlemania, which is the biggest night of the year for him. This was around the time where he started being considered Mr. Wrestlemania.

Chris Jericho says he wanted to be Shawn Michaels but now he wants to end him.

Stacy tells Test that she’s found him a perfect tag partner and leaves. Test has Torrie Wilson’s Playboy and has to hide it from her. To recap, Test is dating Stacy Keibler and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him.

Test/Scott Steiner vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

Oh man it’s the start of THIS story. Test charges the ring to start and elbows Jericho in the face. Steiner gets in some shots on the floor but it’s quickly off to Christian, who eats a shoulder as well. We get the tag to Steiner, who somehow was in the World Title scene just a few weeks ago. The flexing elbow into push-ups gets two and it’s back to Test. Keeping Steiner out of the ring most of the time is a good thing for this match.

Jericho gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Christian to hit a spinwheel kick on Test. That advantage goes nowhere as it’s already back to Steiner for Rick Steiner’s powerslam/backdrop on Christian. Scared to death of the idea of having to deal with Scott Steiner, Christian grabs the referee and kicks Scott low before bringing Chris back in. That earns the king of the world a belly to belly (that’s one) and another tag brings in Test.

Jericho quickly escapes a powerbomb and everything breaks down. The evil Canadians are sent into each other and Test’s pumphandle slam plants Jericho but Christian makes the save. Belly to belly #2 sends Jericho flying but this time the powerbomb connects with Christian breaking up another save. Christian goes after Stacy and Steiner makes the save, only to have Test get distracted, allowing Jericho to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible but why is Jericho feuding with Test instead of Shawn Michaels, as in the guy he’s fighting at WRESTLEMANIA in two weeks? This was nothing special or even good for the most part with the majority of the match being spent on wasting time until we finally got to the point. As mentioned, Steiner has fallen a long way in just a few weeks and it’s not likely to get better anytime soon.

HHH vs. Goldust

Non-title of course. Booker and Flair are the seconds as WWE suddenly remembers that HHH and Booker are fighting soon. Feeling out process to start until Goldust hits him in the face for the first shot. More right hands from Goldust set up a right hand from HHH to take over as it’s pretty clear they’re not in the mood to try here. HHH sends the injured (from the electrocution) arm into the post a few times and we hit the armbar. Goldust starts fighting back but that’s too threatening to HHH’s legacy as a main event star so he plants Goldust with the spinebuster.

Something like a Boss Man Slam puts HHH down and Goldust gets two off a clothesline. Again HHH feels the power of insecurity and sends Goldust outside where Booker beats up Flair. The injured Randy Orton gets in a crutch shot from the crowd to knock Booker silly but Goldust hits the bulldog on HHH. The arm gives out before he can try Shattered Dreams and it’s jumping knee into the Pedigree to give HHH the soul redeeming pin.

Rating: D. I don’t know about you, but I feel so much better now that HHH has overcome career midcarder Goldust and his neurological issues. It was getting pretty dicey there and you could see HHH’s entire Hall of Fame career melting away every second he was down from a clothesline. I mean……HE WAS HAVING TO SELL SOMETHING! Oh and get used to seeing Booker down and out like that, because you know that’s what’s coming at Wrestlemania.

Bischoff is warming up when Rock comes in with his guitar to sing about beating up Hurricane. Rock is thinking about having a Rock Concert right here in St. Louis but there are too many ugly women in this town. Next week in Sacramento sounds a bit better. What doesn’t sound better is having a lumberjack match, because all those guys around the ring make Bischoff look bad.

Instead, make it No DQ and Rock will be there to have Bischoff’s back. So why set up the lumberjack match in the first place??? Just set up the No DQ and go with that. It’s like changing Smackdown matches today: just get it right in the first place and you won’t have to keep pulling these bait and switches.

Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff

No DQ and Morley is with Bischoff. Eric wisely runs away to start so Austin beats up Morley as a warm-up. A right hand puts Bischoff down and the mudhole is stomped. He puts Eric in a Boston crab of all things but Morley offers a distraction for the break. That’s not enough for the Chief as he comes in for a low blow but Austin easily beats them both up. Cue Rock for a Stunner on Austin but Bischoff can only get two. Rock comes back in to stomp on Austin but misses the Elbow. A clothesline sends Rock to the floor and Morley and Bischoff both get Stunners for the pin.

Rating: F. Yeah whatever. What else do you want me to say here? The only note: this was Austin’s last match on Raw to date and likely ever. That’s how Austin, the greatest superstar of this era, goes out: beating up Bischoff and Val Venis in a nothing match to set up a match at Wrestlemania. It kind of makes you think that you never know when you’ll never see these guys in the ring again.

Austin gets a Rock Bottom and Rock sips at a beer to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. How in the world was this leading up to one of the best Wrestlemanias of all time? These shows lately have been horrible and it’s like they have no idea what they’re doing going forward. Shawn vs. Jericho is barely getting any build other than the superkick last week and HHH is squashing everyone he can find while Booker is lucky to win a tag match. Nothing to see on this show and it’s becoming very clear why this show is so loathed among fans.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Maybe I can start getting these things done before the next show starts. We’re firmly into the Extreme Rules build now, and by firmly into I mean we’re almost to the show. Therefore we need some stipulations for the big matches but we’re taped, meaning it’s not likely to be the most thrilling show. Let’s get to it.

Cena opened things up with the Open Challenge for the US Title and beat Bad News Barrett in a decent enough match. These two have fought so many times over the years that it’s kind of hard to care anymore, but at least the Challenges are doing their job. I’d like to see someone from NXT debut through one and hopefully they continue after Extreme Rules. Speaking of after, Rusev came out and blasted Cena with a chain to set up a Russian Chain match for the PPV. It makes sense given Rusev being involved but these matches have a high rate of suck more often than not.

Paige won a Divas Battle Royal for the #1 contendership to give the fans something to cheer. Naomi then turned heel and beat her down so Paige can go off to make a movie. They REALLY need to stop building people up and then send them away for six weeks to make a movie that 87 people might see. Or maybe they should stop with the bad movies and just do what they did before: pick a movie that is going to be seen and slap their name on it.

On top of that, as I went on about on Smackdown, who does this leave as a face Diva? Emma? Fox is acting like a heel and turns every four days anyway, the Bellas, Cameron and Naomi are confirmed heels and Paige is leaving. Are they really hoping that a returning Layla is going to be a big deal? Natalya is supposed to be a heel but wrestles like a face because her psychology is all messed up, but she’s awesome. Right?

Bray Wyatt has a new target. Yeah whatever. Go win a big match already.

The Lucha Dragons beat up the Ascension because that’s what they do. They did it in NXT and they’re doing it on Raw. I still feel bad for Ascension but they were dead in the water months ago.

Roman Reigns came out and talked about going to Suplex City until Big Show came out to continue THE STUPIDEST FEUD IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. Show beat him up on the props but Roman kept getting up. Indeed, it’s for a last man standing match. Of all the things I’d love to grab Vince by the throat for and shout at him about, keeping Big Show in this spot is one of them. How can they possibly think that beating up Big Show over and over and over and over and over and over and I think you get the point by now, is going to help Reigns look like a big deal?

Orton beat Cesaro via DQ to earn the right to pick a stipulation, but then Kane came out to make sure the Tag Team Champions were hurt as much as they could and made Orton vs. both of them. As you would expect, Orton beat both of them in one match because he could. By this point, this show was starting to make my head hurt.

Rollins yelled at Kane and teased getting him fired by the Authority. So yes, the two stories that are being built up are the Divas battle royal from last week and what seems like another Kane face turn. BECAUSE THAT CREATES RATINGS BECAUSE KANE IS BIG! LIKE BIG SHOW!!! Rollins wants Kane to lay down later. One last thing though: Rollins emasculates Kane and it seems like he’s going to rise up because of it. Stephanie emasculates people and they get to stand there and take it.

Dean Ambrose beat Adam Rose to remind us that Dean Ambrose does in fact exist.

Big Show tried to talk Kane out of turning on the Authority. Bryan would do the opposite later, but Bryan brought up the Fingerpoke of Doom because we must make fun of WCW, despite a lot of the fans not even being alive for that moment. But hey, it makes Vince smile at his past accomplishments and that’s what we need to do.

Fandango beat Stardust in a filler match which set up Fandango turning face and dumping Rosa. I highly doubt this is the big career saver he’s needing.

Kane beat up Rollins and the Stooges before laying down for him. For the thousandth time, no one cares about Kane in this role.

Mizdow beat Miz in another short match to set up a big match later on, because that’s how WWE works.

The Prime Time Players kept making fun of other tag teams. I’ve gone into this in depth elsewhere, but this is the best thing that has ever happened to these guys.

Ryback beat Luke Harper in yet another short match because we need time for Kane segments.

Naomi explains that she’s tired of getting passed up for people like AJ. Thankfully it wasn’t another IT’S ALL ABOUT ME character but my goodness this division is dying for faces. It’s interesting that they keep mentioning AJ’s name.

Dolph Ziggler beat Neville in another entertaining match. This is the Mighty Mouse gimmick that everyone who didn’t think the thing through was terrified of.

Rollins and Orton announced that it’s going to be a cage match with the RKO banned. Ok then. Seriously that was my reaction. A brawl ended the show.

This show pretty much just came and went. There’s not much going on at the moment that makes me want to see the next show, but there’s a difference between being horrible and just being dull. They really need to get past the Wrestlemania rematches, but we’re likely getting ready for yet another round of these matches in May. Hopefully that means a strong start to the summer, but this was really nothing worth seeing. Neville is still a high spot though and could mean something big later on. Not much to see this week, except for the dozens and dozens of Kane and Big Show fans out there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6