Royal Rumble 1998
Date: January 18, 1998
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 18,542
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the year of Austin and for once, the WWF is looking good going forward as the debacle that was the main event of Starrcade has caused WCW to hit a brick wall. The main event tonight is Shawn defending the title against Taker because he didn’t want to face Owen Hart, the most logical opponent. Also there’s the Rumble, which is obvious of a winner as there’s been in years, but in this case that’s ok. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the two main matches as you would expect. The rest of the card doesn’t mean much anyway.

Mike Tyson is in a skybox.

Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

This is during Goldie’s midlife crisis/PAY ATTENTION TO ME phase. These two had a great match at Clash of the Champions so maybe this won’t suck. Goldust jumps him as Jerry is glad the gold one is in men’s clothing again. Vader shrugs off the shots to the back and chases Goldust to the floor. Vader rams him into Luna as we hear about Austin not being here yet. Goldust is sent into the steps as Vader keeps control.

Back in and Luna trips Vader up, finally allowing Goldie to get in a clothesline. Another clothesline puts him down and Goldust works on the leg a bit. Goldie drops a middle rope elbow to the ribs and we head back to the floor. Vader is sent into the steps so Luna can choke him a bit before we head back in. Goldust pounds away again but stops to kiss Vader. I may not be a pro wrestler, but I know better than to kiss a guy called the Rocky Mountain Monster.

Vader kills him with a clothesline and suplexes Goldust down before getting two off a splash. Vader loads up the Vader Bomb but a low blow stops him cold. Another clothesline puts Goldie down again and Vader sits on his chest. He loads up the Bomb again and despite Luna jumping in his back, Vader drops it anyway and crushes Goldust for the pin.

Rating: D. The place popped for the ending which did look cool, but other than that this was a messed up match. Goldust in this gimmick didn’t really work because at the end of the day, he’s still boring old Dustin Rhodes working the same standard style. It’s not horrible but it’s not a good choice to have on a PPV.

Austin gets here and tells Cole to park his truck. Southern Justice (the heel Godwinns) follow him, presumably to jump him.

Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula

Minis here with Sunny as the referee. Max Mini (more famous as Mascarita Sagrada) is by far the most famous of these guys as he’s about 4 and a half feet tall but can move around very quickly. Nova and Tarantula start things off with Tarantula (on the heel team) being way bigger. Nova takes him down with some headscissors before it’s quickly off to Battalion (military themed guy) vs. Max. Max armdrags him to the floor which brings in Torito, meaning we’re in lucha rules (meaning sending someone to the floor means another member of your team can come in without an actual tag).

Torito can actually get his head over the top rope, meaning he’s just under the size of Rey Mysterio. Mosaic comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press and a release flapjack. A second flapjack attempt is caught in a wrist drag to send Torito to the floor and it’s off to Tarantula. That goes nowhere so here’s Battalion again. The fast tags continue as here’s Nova vs. Torito already.

They both hit the floor so Mosaic speeds things up against Battalion again. Mosaic spins him around again a few times before it’s back to Mini vs. Tarantula. Max gets caught in a spinebuster but goes up top almost immediately for a delayed rana. Max sends him to the floor and Tarantula backs off. Back in and Torito hits a Mafia kick to the back of Max’s head and a chop puts him down again.

For no apparent reason Sunny picks Max up so he can dropkick the villains. I can only assume Sunny is there to give the fans anything to care about. Mosaic and Battalion go to the floor as does Torito so Max can hit his big dive. The others dive on them as well and it’s a big pile on the floor. Back in Max rolls up Torito for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m going with a C because I have no idea what else to go with. I don’t know who these people are, I have no idea why I should care, and I might have seen these guys twice other than this (aside from Max). These matches are really hard to get into because there’s nothing to them. Much like a lot of the luchador matches in WCW had the same issue: why should I care about these people?

The Nation goes to attack Austin but only find an Austin foam finger.

The McMahons are in Tyson’s sky box.

We recap Shamrock vs. Rock. Shamrock has charged through the Nation to get this shot at the unofficial leader of the team. Mark Henry joined the Nation to save Rock from Shamrock less than a week ago.

The Nation argues over which of them will win the Rumble. Rock says the fans of course want to know what he thinks of Clinton and Paula Jones, so he tells the President not to lie down with dogs or you might get fleas. This joke would be done way better over the next few weeks.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Rock is defending of course. Feeling out process to start with Rocky trying to get a cheap shot in the corner. Both guys shove the other into the corner and Shamrock blocks a shot to the face before hitting one of his own. They run the ropes a bit until Shamrock kicks him in the chest and knocks the champion out to the floor. Back in and Rock pounds away a bit before hitting a corner clothesline. Ken comes back with some clotheslines of his own but the standing clothesline is countered into a hot shot for two.

They’re trying to get out of first gear here but it’s really not working that well. The champ pounds on him in the corner and but gets caught in a fisherman’s suplex for two. Back to the floor with Shamrock going into the steps and then back into the ring. The spinning DDT gets two for Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. Rock tries the spinning DDT again but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two instead.

Shamrock pounds away some more and gets two off a powerslam. The Nation comes out and sneaks Rocky some knuckles which go upside Ken’s head for two. Rock hides said knuckles in Shamrock’s trunks, just before getting belly to bellied for the pin and the title. Keep that in mind of course.

Rating: D+. Rock would get better, but at the end of the day this didn’t work that well. It was mainly punching with both guys trying to throw in a move here or there. This feud never quite worked as well as they were shooting for I don’t think and with Rocky holding the title forever, it didn’t do Shamrock much good either.

Post match the referee finds the knuckles and reverses the decision. The referee is beaten up very badly for his efforts.

A Coliseum Video Exclusive from “moments later” show a clean and dry Shamrock in jeans attacking the Rock.

Los Boricuas attack someone who they think is Austin but find one of the Disciples of Apocalypse. Brawling ensues.

We recap the LOD vs. the Outlaws, which is old school vs. new with the Outlaws defending the titles. The Outlaws put a big old beating on the LOD and tonight is their return.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Legion of Doom

The Outlaws make fun of the 49ers who lost in the NFC Title game recently to the Packers. The LOD says that Animal’s back is fine and they’re putting the Outlaws on ice tonight. The Outlaws jump the challengers which goes badly in a hurry, as Animal powerbombs the Dogg. The champions try to walk out but get thrown back in so we can start with Hawk (who had one mohawk shaved off earlier in this feud) vs. Roadie.

Off to Animal as Road Dogg’s mouth is bleeding. The pounding continues so here’s Hawk for his one wrestling move in the neckbreaker. Gunn gets the tag and Hawk hits a freaking Lou Thesz Press of all things so he can pound away some more. Animal powerslams both Outlaws down and it’s off to a reverse chinlock on Gunn. Hawk comes in for his second surprise move of the match in an STF.

That goes nowhere so it’s back to Animal, who is tripped up by Roadie. They head outside where Animal is sent into the steps to finally switch the momentum. Hawk gets double teamed in the ring but clotheslines both Outlaws down (Animal is still legal) but charges into the post. Dogg finds some handcuffs and attaches Hawk to the post, making it a handicap match. Animal makes a comeback with a double clothesline, but Dogg hits him with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D. So with an injury AND his partner tied up on the floor, Animal STILL couldn’t lay down for a pin? Seriously? This match sucked and would have been just slightly better on Raw with less time. The LOD was nothing at this point while the Outlaws were finally starting to turn some heads. Until this point though, they were two jobbers with the titles who kept escaping with them. Brighter days were coming.

The Outlaws destroy Animal until Hawk snaps the handcuffs to make the save.

Some fan wins the Austin truck.

We recap the build up to the Rumble. Basically, everyone knows Austin is going to win and EVERYONE else in the Rumble is trying to stop him but not one has been able to slow him down at all. The only difference here: the fans were eating this stuff up with a spoon.

Royal Rumble

Cactus Jack is #1 and Chainsaw Charlie (Terry Funk) is #2. The intervals are supposed to be two minutes again this year but they would wind up being closer to 90 seconds. Terry brings his chainsaw into the ring so Cactus throws in a bunch of chairs. The referee finally gets the saw out and they pound on each other with chairs. Cactus hits Funk in the head with one, then hands the chair to Funk so he can return the favor. These two aren’t exactly normal if you didn’t catch that.

Tom Brandi is #3 and lasts about ten seconds. Terry punches Jack down but can’t piledrive him on a chair. Cactus suplexes him through two chairs but can’t put him out. Rock is #4 and both hardcore guys are down. Rock pounds on Terry in the corner but Cactus blasts him with a trashcan and the double beating begins. Cactus puts the can over Rock’s head and they pound away on him, knocking him through the ropes and out to the floor. Funk hits Cactus low as Mosh is #5.

Mosh and Funk pair off as do the other two guys. Funk (the announcers are calling him that too) tries a moonsault but it winds up being more of a headbutt than a splash. Phineas Godwinn is #6 and helps Rock beat up Mosh. Not much happens for a bit until 8-Ball of the DOA is #7. Jack misses a charge and Funk backdrops him out to empty the ring out a bit. Apparently someone who might have been Ken Shamrock has attacked Austin.

Funk barely hangs onto the rope to avoid elimination until Blackjack Bradshaw (yes that Bradshaw) is #8 and looking as muscular as you’ll ever see him look. We talk about Mike Tyson while things slow down a bit until Owen Hart is #9. Jeff Jarrett, the NWA North American Champion at the time in a strange invasion angle, attacks Owen on his way in. Yeah this is what Owen gets for not bolting to WCW after the Montreal Screwjob. Yes I know he was under contract but you know Vince couldn’t hold him to it in that situation. Hart can’t get in the ring yet.

Steve Blackman is #10 and he has a hairy chest. 8-Ball piledrives Funk as there are way too many guys in the ring right now. Since people seem content to just tease eliminations on the ropes, no one is eliminated until D’Lo Brown is #11. Rock DESTROYS Blackman in the corner before getting in a fight with his Nation teammate D’Lo. Kurrgan, still a psycho monster at this point, is #12.

Thankfully he gets rid of some people like Mosh and….that’s about it for now. Dang it clear the ring out a little bit already. You’re a monster Kurrgan. Go destroy some villager. Marc Mero is #13, giving us a pop for Sable. Mero pounds away on Blackman in the corner but Kurrgan dumps Steve. Bradshaw pounds on Kurrgan as Rock teases not stomping his teammate before kicking away.

Ken Shamrock is #14 and he immediately kicks Kurrgan down. A big gang takes out Kurrgan as Rock hits the People’s Elbow (not yet named) on Funk. Thrasher is #15, giving us Funk, Rock, Phineas, 8-Ball, Bradshaw, Owen (not in the ring), Brown, Mero, Shamrock and Thrasher, or as they’re collectively known, WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Still nothing happens and Mankind is #16, confusing the announcers and immediately punching Funk out.

Shamrock finally gets his hands on the Rock as Mero asks Sable for praise. Goldust is #17 in a silver bodysuit with a thong painted on. A minute or so later he puts out Mankind but there are still way too many people out there. Jeff Jarrett is #18 and Owen runs in to beat him down. A spinwheel kick puts Jeff down, followed by Owen skinning the cat and dumping Jeff. Honky Tonk Man is #19 as HHH (on crutches) and Chyna come to the ring. Rock dumps Shamrock to complete Ken’s humiliation tonight.

HHH gets on the apron and cracks Owen with his crutch to knock Hart out as well. Ahmed Johnson is #20, looking as bored as I can remember a wrestler looking in a long time. WAY too many people in the ring again. Mark Henry of the Nation is #21 and JR says Henry is “handling the big Johnson.” There’s no #22 which was supposed to be Skull, but he was jumped earlier remember.

Johnson is dumped out and he still doesn’t look like he cares. He would be gone next month anyway. Phineas is out after a ridiculous 28 minutes. On top of being in too long, he accidentally kicks a referee in the head on the way down, giving him a legit concussion. Kama Mustafa is #23 to give the Nation four members at the moment. We’re just waiting for Austin at this point.

FINALLY the glass shatters at #24 and the roof goes off the place. Austin comes in through the crowd because he’s got ten people waiting on him as he comes in. There go Mero and 8-Ball and things slow down AGAIN, because we need at least ten people in the match at all times for some reason. Henry Godwinn is #25 and nothing happens. Savio Vega is #26, but since we STILL don’t have enough people in the ring at the moment, he brings in the other three Boricuas to beat on Austin.

Thankfully Austin beats them out quickly but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Faarooq is #27 to give us the entire Nation in the ring. He goes right for the other Nation members though as his face turn continues. Not that anyone cares mind you but he is indeed turning. Austin and Rock tumble through the ropes through the floor to brawl a bit because that’s what those two guys do.

Dude Love is #28 to complete the running joke of the match. He immediately puts out Bradshaw as Goldust is on the floor but not eliminated. You can’t see most of the mat because of how many people are in the ring at the moment. Austin pounds on Rock even more with Rock falling to the floor again. Chainz of DOA is #29 as Faarooq puts Brown out. More brawling ensues until Vader completes the field at #30. This gives us a final group of….hang on I need a breath first…..Rock, Thrasher, Goldust, Honky Tonk Man, Mark Henry, Kama, Austin, Henry Godwinn, Vega, Faarooq, Dude Love, Chainz and Vader, or THIRTEEN PEOPLE.

Vader immediately pounds on Goldust and dumps Honky a few seconds later. Austin dumps Thrasher after an insanely too long 28 minutes. Austin puts out Kama to finally clear the ring out a bit. There goes Vega at Austin’s hands as well before Goldust dumps Vader. Godwinn goes out as well before Faarooq puts out Henry. We’re down to Rock, Austin, Love and Faarooq as Chainz was put out by Austin off camera.

The Nation members are thrown together and Rock gets hit by Sweet Shin Music and the double arm DDT. Austin hits Dude low and Faarooq throws Love out. Rock puts out Faarooq to give us Austin vs. Rock. They slug it out and Rock is thrown to the apron. Austin is fine with Stunning him and throwing him out to go on to Wrestlemania where he would claim his destiny.

Rating: D+. Austin was awesome as he always was in 1998, but the rest of this match pretty much sucked. As I said over and over, there were way too many people in there for the most part. Also you had WAY too many people getting time they didn’t deserve. I mean did anyone need to see Phineas, 8-Ball, Bradshaw, D’Lo Brown and Thrasher all getting over 28 minutes? Not much to see here other than Austin and Foley’s funny bit.

Tyson celebrates “Cole Stone” Steve Austin winning the Rumble.

We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Basically they feuded extensively in the fall but then after Montreal, Shawn didn’t want to face Owen for a fear of him trying to legit hurt him. Therefore they rehashed Undertaker vs. Shawn for the title here in a casket match. Most of the video here is about the first Cell match, which is still amazing stuff. Oh and one more thing: DX (still just three people at this point) attacked Taker on Raw but Kane had saved his brother, uniting with him for the first time ever. That was six days ago, and remember that a certain Vince Russo is booking.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Like I said, Shawn is defending and this is a casket match. Taker throwing the lights back on makes Shawn jump out of the ring. It’s a brawl to start and Taker immediately grabs Shawn by the throat. Shawn punches his way out of it but jumps into another choke by Taker. An attempt at putting Michaels in the casket doesn’t work, but a backdrop that put Michaels out of action for four and a half years by slamming his spine onto the casket does work.

Shawn slowly gets up and is kicked into the casket but he immediately bounces out. We head back in with Taker missing an elbow but hitting Old School. Shawn gets whipped into the corner for the Flair Flip to the floor, which is probably the last move he needed to do at this point. Back in and Shawn dives into a powerslam but Taker still can’t slam the lid shut. Shawn comes out throwing powder and manages to get a breather. Taker is sent knees first into the steps and Shawn smashes the challenger’s back with the steps.

A piledriver on the steps actually works for Shawn but he’s got a broken back and can’t follow up. HHH whacks Taker with the crutch (where is Owen if he’s so angry?) as Shawn stays in full control. Back in and a jumping back elbow puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Shawn neckbreakers Taker before putting on a sleeper which is eventually countered into a Saito Suplex.

The forearm from Shawn sets up the nipup which sets up the top rope elbow. He must be either high as a kite on painkillers or on a huge adrenaline rush to be able to have a match like this at this point. The superkick knocks Taker out cold but Shawn is Shawn and stops for a crotch chop. Taker grabs him by the balls and we head back inside for the beating Shawn deserves. Another Flair Flip sets up the big boot, but Taker misses a clothesline and lands in the casket.

Shawn drops an elbow into the casket, closing the lid on both guys. Cool spot actually. Shawn crawls out but in a semi famous shot, Taker pulls him back into the casket, closing it with both guys inside again. Back in and Undertaker hits one of the biggest chokeslams he’s ever hit followed by a JUMPING TOMBSTONE into the casket. The Outlaws and the Boricuas run in as we reenact Royal Rumble 1994, but here comes Kane to save the day. By save the day, naturally I mean turn on Undertaker and shut him in the casket to keep the title on Shawn and end the match.

Rating: B. Considering Shawn’s back was literally broken in half during the match, this is a pretty awesome fight. When Taker gets ticked off and wants to hurt somebody, he can lay a beating out like few others in the world. Shawn struggling through a match in this condition is nothing short of great, and the fact that he survived Wrestlemania like this as well is perhaps the greatest physical accomplishment of all time.

Post match Kane nails the casket shut and hacks at it with an ax. He pours gasoline inside and LIGHTS IT ON FIRE to end the show. Taker of course would disappear from the casket once it was opened up.

Overall Rating: D. Good main event aside, this was a REALLY dull show overall. 1998 would wind up being an awesome year, but this wasn’t the best start to it in the world. We saw a lot of the relics of the bad times here, but Austin was coming and there was absolutely nothing WCW could do to stop him. This wasn’t a good show at all, but it was a necessary evil to get us to the glory days.

Ratings Comparison

Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

Original: B-

Redo: D

Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula

Original: B-

Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

….what in the world was I on back then?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1998-austin-isnt-a-lock-to-win-please-believe-us/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 5, 2015
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.

It took awhile to get here but we’re finally into Royal Rumble season. The big story from last week (biggest out of many that is) was the return of the Authority, after a grand absence of about a month. Now that they’re back they can oppose Daniel Bryan as he tries to make it to Wrestlemania to take the World Title off the corporate backed champion. Well it worked the first time so why not now? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from the end of last week with Rollins setting the stage for the Authority’s return by threatening to cripple Edge. I still have issues with a simple “I respect you” making up for all of Cena and Edge’s issues.

Opening sequence. We haven’t had one of those in forever.

The roster is in the ring and around ringside to open the show. Cena would like to apologize for what’s coming, because he had to go back on his word and bring the Authority back last week. He thought he could slide in at the last second like Superman and save Edge but he just wasn’t sure. Now the Authority is back, but 2015 is going to be…..cut off by the Authority’s music. Cole: “Stephanie McMahon on the left, HHH on the right.” In case you thought HHH had become a woman you see.

Stephanie hopes we all had a great new year and HHH knows we were all begging for them to come back. He mocks the guest GM’s and praises Seth Rollins for ensuring their return. Rollins tells Cena Happy New Year but HHH has a surprise for him: he’s officially added to the WWE World Title match at the Royal Rumble, making it a triple threat with Lesnar defending against Rollins and Cena.

That brings us back to Cena, because last week he showed that he knows what’s best for business. Stephanie declares tonight John Cena Appreciation Night and Cena’s attendance is mandatory. As for everyone else, this is a new year, meaning they’ll all get what they deserve. That means Ziggler is up first and will be defending the Intercontinental Title against Bad News Barrett. I see no reason why the entire roster had to be out there, but they’re out of the opening segment at just 8:14.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

Barrett is challenging due to Barrett having to vacate the title due to an injury. The champ nails a dropkick to start but tries to get too high in the corner and takes a kick to the ribs. We’re in a chinlock less than two minute in, meaning I don’t see this lasting long. Ziggler pops up and grabs a crucifix of all things to retain the title at 2:38.

Barrett destroys Ziggler post match and sends him into the and steps over and over. Cue Corporate Kane to say the Authority forgot to mention that this match is 2/3 falls. Ziggler is barely able to get up and Wasteland ties us up about thirty seconds in. The referee calls the trainers in before the third fall and we take a break. Back with Ziggler insisting he can continue but taking a boot to the face. Wasteland plants him again for two and Barrett puts him in the ropes for another boot.

Barrett cranks on the arms as Cole gets something as simple as Barrett’s hometown wrong (Prescott instead of Preston). We hit the chinlock on the champ but he fights out with a Stunner, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. The Fameasser doesn’t work but the Winds of Change gets two. I still really like that move. Barrett’s Bull Hammer misses and Dolph scores with a superkick for another near fall. Kane gets up on the apron and eats a superkick, only to have the Bull Hammer knock Ziggler cold to give Barrett the title back at 16:39 total, counting the breaks between the falls.

Rating: C. The match was good but it was almost all angle. Barrett getting the title back is fine and it makes him a five time champion, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up given his past experiences as champion. I’m curious to see where Ziggler goes from here, but again they protected him with the big beatdown leading to his loss. He’s looking like a bigger star now and stacking the deck against him is going to make that work as much as anything else.

We get our first John Cena great moment, starting on Smackdown, July 27, 2002 when he answered Kurt Angle’s open challenge and took him to the limit. The Undertaker endorsed him post match to really make it mean something.

Clip from last week of Big Show interfering to break up Rollins vs. Reigns. Show buried Reigns under the announcers’ table, only to have Reigns do the same to him on Smackdown. Reigns vs. Show again tonight.

Reigns doesn’t know what to expect tonight but he knows Big Show can expect a man faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall building in a single bound, and more powerful than a locomotive. Believe that.

Bray Wyatt asks Dean Ambrose about his new year’s resolution. Is it to become a better father or to get to know his imprisoned father? Well tonight he’ll get the chance, because tonight he’s going to be locked in an ambulance. Ambrose’s lunatic fringe will be forever locked inside his own nightmare. The devil is suffering and pain and tonight he walks beside Wyatt.

Here’s the Ascension for a chat. There have been a lot of dominant teams over the years, but they’ll demolish Demolition and throw the Road Warriors off the road. Oh what a rush? Oh what a JOKE. Welcome to the wasteland. JBL of course buries them by saying they couldn’t carry the Road Warriors’ bags and Booker calls them stupid.

Ascension vs. ???/???

Fall of Man in 41 seconds.

Lana and Rusev tell America to stay out of Russia’s business. How dare America disrupt Russia’s tradition and heritage? Only Vladimir Putin can bring this world to peace, and only Rusev is undefeated.

John Cena beat JBL to win his first World Title at Wrestlemania XXI.

Roman Reigns vs. Big Show

Show spears him down to start and steps over Reigns’ ribs. Some kicks have the ribs in even more trouble as the announcers do their job by reminding us that Reigns’ had surgery on his abdomen to put him out of action late last year. A hard knee to the face gets to more and Big Show gets back to stepping on the stomach. We hit the bearhug before Reigns fights back, only to have the Superman Punch blocked. They head to the floor and Show hits him with the steps for the DQ at 4:19.

Rating: F. Failure, for the simple reason that this feud MUST CONTINUE! WHY IS IT CONTINUING??? How can WWE sit there and validate keeping Reigns locked up with Big Show for months on end and think that it’s going to get him over? Just look at this match too: Big Show dominates, swats away Reigns’ big move, and then loses because he beats him up too badly. This was a Big Show squash until the ending, making this match an even bigger waste of time than it looked like on paper. They’re going out of their way to annoy fans at this point.

We recap the opening segment.

Natalya vs. Nikki Bella

Rematch from last week when Natalya lost in a minute. Tyson Kidd isn’t out here after possibly costing Natalya the match last week. Cue Paige, who started a feud with Natalya last night on Total Divas. Natalya shoves Nikki down to start but can’t grab the Sharpshooter. Instead Nikki blasts her in the face as Paige and Brie are about to get into it on the floor. Paige easily destroys Brie but the distraction lets Natalya roll up Nikki for the pin in 1:23.

Paige saves Natalya from a post match beatdown.

Ambrose doesn’t have any new year’s resolution other than beating Wyatt up and throwing him into an ambulance. This match is going to be brutal and end their feud once and for all. That’s the way Dean lives his life and it’s the way he’s ending Bray’s.

The commentators offer their condolences to the family of ESPN anchor Stuart Scott as he passed away yesterday.

Luke Harper vs. Erick Rowan

Noble and Mercury are guest referees. Rowan sends him into the corner to start but the referees get in his way. He nails Harper with a spinwheel kick but the referees argue over who will do the count. Rowan yells at them and eats the discus lariat for a fast count pin at 1:00.

The Stooges beat up Rowan post match, allowing Harper to hit another discus lariat.

We see Cena’s first night as an official member of the Raw roster. That’s the night he was officially anointed as the top star of the company.

The WWE Network is coming to the UK on January 19. Allegedly.

Alicia Fox comes up to Naomi in the back and says they’ll be friends after they’re on different sides in the mixed tag. Fox brags about being part of the Total Divas cast and talks down to Naomi for being off the show. She beats Naomi up and screams a lot until more of the cast comes up to stop her.

We recap Ambrose vs. Wyatt, which has been a series of hardcore brawls since Wyatt cost him the Cell match against Rollins.

Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambulance match where you have to throw your opponent in the ambulance to win. This is billed as the end of the story, which I don’t buy for some reason. They quickly fight tot he floor with Wyatt being sent over the announcers’ table and thrown into the crowd. They’re quickly up by the ambulance and Dean has a red cross table. Well of course he does. Bray comes back with a stretcher to the knees and they fight back down to ringside with Wyatt sending him knee first into the post.

Back from a break with Bray splashing Dean in the corner and tossing his hair around. I guess he’s a Kevin Nash fan. Sister Abigail is broken up and the Rebound Clothesline puts both guys down. Bray comes right back with a shot to the bad knee (because he’s smart like that) and they head to the floor again. Up to the ambulance and Dean is able to clothesline him off the stage for a nice spot. Bray sends him into the ambulance….where there’s a chair waiting. Dean pelts it at Wyatt’s head but of course the fans only want tables. I’m so sick of hearing that chant every single week.

Another clothesline drops Bray but the knee is too banged up for Dean to give it the full effect. Ambrose nails him with the back board from a stretcher before loading up the red cross table. He lays Bray on it….and looks at the ambulance. With the limp slowing him down, Dean gets on top of the ambulance and drops the elbow to drive Wyatt through the wood, with the table breaking so clean that it ruins almost the entire visual. Not that it matters as Bray hits Sister Abigail into ambulance door. Dean is still able to fight out though, only to take a slow motion Sister Abigail on the concrete to give Wyatt the win at 19:40.

Rating: B-. The violence was fun but this felt like it went on forever. I’m not really sure why am ambulance match is supposed to be the be all and end all of this feud. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen them do a bunch of times, but at least Wyatt definitively wins the feud and can now move on to something else. Good brawl, but I’d have liked them to go on and do something new instead of the same old stuff in a different setting.

Time to insult the fans who still pay for regular pay per view.

Remember that opening segment? Well here it is again.

Usos/Naomi vs. Alicia Fox/Miz/Damien Mizdow

Another Total Divas match. The girls get things going with Naomi throwing Alicia around with ease before it’s off to Miz for a neckbreaker and chinlock on Jimmy. Mizdow gets the tag and is back out three seconds later before any contact. Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else? Miz ax handles Jimmy from the apron to the floor and it’s back to the chinlock. Jimmy finally escapes and makes the hot tag as everything breaks down. In the melee, Jimmy has to stop himself from running into Naomi, allowing Miz to roll Jimmy up with a handful of the tights for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: D. This show is dying before our eyes. The story is starting to drag as there’s really no reason for these people to be fighting anymore, other than the required crutch of a rematch that they just have to have. If they wanted to make things interesting they would have Fox get the new projects that were promised to Naomi to show her that Miz was lying to wrap things up, but something tells me the Naomi part is just going to be dropped.

WWE Network song.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

Wait a second as Kane comes out to make it a handicap match.

Kane/Seth Rollins vs. Ryback

Ryback runs into Kane’s uppercut to start but comes back with the Thesz Press and Warrior splash for one. Off to Rollins who bails in the face of a monster like a villain should. We get a Flair slam from the top and Kane is sent outside as well as we take a break. Back with Ryback fighting out of a chinlock but eating a dropkick from Rollins. Rollins chokes a bit and Kane puts on one of the worst chinlocks I can ever remember seeing. It’s like when you’re a kid and you do wrestling moves to your friends but you don’t know what you’re doing and it looks horrible, but this is a former World Champion doing it instead.

Ryback suplexes Kane down for a breather and nails Rollins with a nice spinebuster. The Stooges offer a distraction but Rollins takes the Meat Hook anyway. Kane breaks up Shell Shock but takes it himself, only to have Seth nail the Curb Stomp. He does it again for no particular reason and gets the pin at 11:54.

Rating: D-. END THIS ALREADY! This show has been dragging on and on for the last two hours and I have no idea who thinks this is a good idea. Rollins getting the pin makes sense but if all the fans pass out due to boredom, no one is going to care. Also, well done on giving Ryback the big promo last week and then jobbing him here. You could have at least made this Rollins and Rusev to help build the match, but instead let’s just get Kane out there.

Big E. vs. Adam Rose

Rose actually takes over to start and throws Big E. into the corner before slapping on a chinlock. Big E. makes his comeback but we’ve got masked men for the DQ at 1:50.

Big E. takes a powerbomb/Blockbuster combo and the masked men are Cesaro and Tyson Kidd.

Preview of tonight’s new episode of Countdown.

Here’s the Authority to introduce Cena for John Cena Appreciation Night at 10:58. We see the ending of last week’s show again and Stephanie calls Cena her hero. HHH says he thought Cena was horrible when he debuted and then he had to sit through all those years of hustle, loyalty and respect. Last week though, Cena changed his mind when Cena brought back the Authority. This ring is all that matters to HHH and before the night is over, a lot of people are going to appreciate John Cena (it didn’t make sense when he said it either).

HHH brings out Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler, none of whom have had a good night. He recaps how everyone joined Team Cena and now it’s time for the punishments: Rowan is suspended for thirty days, Ryback is suspended for sixty days, and Ziggler….has to wait while the Authority walks up the aisle in a conference about what to do. Their decision: they’re all fired. HHH: “LET’S HEAR IT FOR JOHN CENA!” Music plays, confetti and balloons fall, and Stephanie does a little dance to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. The plus is only due to some good action when they could get away from the stories. This show was downright infuriating as they basically forgot everything interesting and entertaining from last week and took us back to the stupid Survivor Series fallout, which has now gone on longer than the build and pay per view itself. They were packing every single thing they could into this show and making sure that the fans had as little fun as possible.

Above all else though, this show lost me with how the announcers talked about Ascension. I know the team isn’t for everyone, but this company’s philosophy seems to be “let’s put every possible thing against the new guys and see how hard they’re willing to get it over.” Then when it fails, oh well it wasn’t the company’s fault for whatever reason. The announcers referred to the new team as stupid and basically called them worthless. I’m so glad they got a year as NXT Tag Team Champions only to be shot down like this a week after they debut.

That’s just part of the downside to this show. It just went on and on and kept feeling like they were trying to get on the fans’ nerves. And for what? To set up some big moment where the Authority is defeated? Again? As in after they were defeated at Wrestlemania and then again at Survivor Series? I’m supposed to care that they lose again, only to come back a few months later like nothing ever happened? This show drove me crazy and I gave up on it about an hour in. If this is the start of the Road to Wrestlemania, we’re in for a long, long ride.

Results

Bad News Barrett b. Dolph Ziggler – Bull Hammer

Ascension b. ???/??? – Fall of Man to #1

Roman Reigns b. Big Show via DQ when Big Show used the stairs

Natalya b. Nikki Bella – Rollup

Luke Harper b. Erick Rowan – Discus lariat

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Wyatt threw Ambrose in the ambulance

Alicia Fox/Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Naomi/Usos – Rollup with a handful of tights

Big E. b. Adam Rose via DQ when Cesaro and Tyson Kidd interfered

Seth Rollins/Kane b. Ryback – Curb Stomp

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: December 26, 2014
Location: Tyson Events Center, Sioux City, Iowa
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, Michael Cole

It’s the show after Christmas which means that Hulk Hogan is still in charge tonight. All that means is he’ll make a match and say BROTHER a lot, but that’s at least better than some of the previous bosses this company has had. Other than that we’re still in the dull period before they start caring about the Rumble so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Hogan walking through the same Christmas set from Raw to open things up. I really wish they would mix those things up a bit more often. Anymore it’s just the same set from Raw but with blue as the main color. Switch things up a bit and make Smackdown feel more unique. Maybe they’ll do that when the show moves back to Thursdays.

Anyway, Hogan has something to tell us brother (1), he’s in charge tonight brother (2). We hear some of his fondest memories from being on Smackdown, including winning the Tag Team Titles with Edge, who will be hosting Raw with Christian on Monday. That’s another thing I wouldn’t mind seeing more of: plug those announcements. It’s simple and quick yet gets the word out there.

Hogan is about to go on but Rollins and the Stooges cut him off. Seth calls him a champion, a Hall of Famer and the embodiment of Wrestlemania. He asks for and receives a handshake before saying if Hogan keeps it up, they might start calling him the Seth Rollins of the 80s. Hogan may have been great, but he doesn’t belong in Rollins’ ring anymore. That’s a bit too far for our American hero, who says he’s running Smackdown tonight. Hogan: “So if you don’t mind brother (3)…” Rollins: “Well I do mind brother. AND DON’T YOU BROTHER ME!”

Seth talks about how great the Authority was for business but now they’ve been replaced by a sideshow act like Hogan. As the future of WWE, this is Seth’s business and he’d like Hulk to officially endorse him. After that, Hogan can get out of this ring because it’s almost 2015. Hulk isn’t sure Rollins is getting out of this ring alive if he keeps talking like that. He can think of several people who could lead this company into the future, like Dolph Ziggler for instance.

Cue Dolph, who calls Rollins the future. If you don’t believe that, just ask Seth because that’s all he talks about. Rollins says Ziggler just doesn’t get it. The future isn’t just a popularity contest and Rollins should just Curb Stomp him right in front of Hogan. How does that sound brother? Ziggler has been curb stomped before and keeps getting up, so what does Seth want to do about it brother?

Here’s Big Show to say that sometime you have to just use force, so now he’s going to come out here and knock out Hogan and Ziggler. This brings out Reigns who tells Show not to come through those ropes unless he wants to get hit in the mouth again, right in front of his wife and kids. Hogan makes the tag match main event and actually doesn’t drop a ninth brother (yes I counted) of the segment.

Kane vs. Ryback

Jobber entrance for Kane. We see Ryback sending Rusev running on Monday before things get going. Ryback fires off to start but runs into a boot to the…..shoulder I think to put him down. So Kane can’t even sell for ten seconds now? Cole crushes several dreams by confirming that Rose and the Bunny have split, partially due to the tombstones from Kane. Ryback grabs a spinebuster and loads up the Meat Hook but we’ve got Russians. He’s still able to escape the chokeslam though and hits the Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the pin at 2:10. Now THAT is what Kane should be used for more often than not.

Rusev gets in the ring for a staredown but Kane comes back in to chokeslam Ryback, setting up the Accolade. I’m still not sure who wins this feud, even though it should be obvious. That’s always a good sign.

After a break, Hogan runs into the Russians to tell Rusev that the US Title is on the line tonight. Giving champions almost no notice to defend their titles is the American way you see, BROTHER. And SISTER!

Alicia Fox vs. Naomi

They start fast with Naomi nipping up, only to eat a kick to the face for two. More speedy kicks get two for Naomi as Miz is watching from the back. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alicia and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Naomi heads to the apron for a kind of Twist of Fate onto the top rope. Naomi gets tired of carrying Fox and kicks her in the head, setting up the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:18. She even throws in counting the pin along with the referee because she’s kind of awesome.

Rating: C. I’m so glad that Naomi is getting an actual story instead of the usual stuff we’ve been seeing with the Divas for years. She’s an athletic freak and, in a description I wish I had thought of, the female Shelton Benjamin. No one in the division can keep up with her and unfortunately it means that WWE doesn’t know what to do with her. It’s good to see that they’ve given her some kind of a story though, because far too often the Divas’ stories revolve around just wanting the title or some catty story that makes them all look ridiculous.

We recap the matches Hogan set up on Raw.

Jimmy and Naomi have a badly scripted conversation about Jimmy beating Miz later tonight.

R-Truth vs. Adam Rose

Rematch from Monday where the Bunny was beaten up by Rose after he lost to Truth. Therefore, Rose comes out sans Bunny and doesn’t even do the fall, waving the Rosebuds off instead. Rose is much more aggressive here and takes Truth into the corner for some mule kick stomping. A nice snap suplex gets two on Truth and we hit the chinlock.

Phillips tries to bring up the incident on Halloween where Truth said the Bunny was the star of the team to set up this mini feud. Since that’s doing his job and keeping up continuity, JBL just buries him in response, saying how stupid the whole thing is. Back up and Truth makes his comeback, only to be sent into the post to set up the Party Foul for the pin at 2:07. Rose actually plays a decent heel, but his in ring work is still average at best.

Here are Rusev and Lana for a chat before the title defense. It’s a short one this time, basically saying Rusev will crush anyone before he faces. Cue his opponent.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev

It’s kind of amazing how Ambrose keeps getting these major matches despite barely ever winning anything. They take turns stomping each other down in the corner to start until Dean ties him in the ropes for chops and the running dropkick. A suicide dive drops Rusev again and Dean grabs a jackknife cover of all things for two.

The fans chant USA as Rusev runs Dean over and drops rapid fire elbows ala Hulk Hogan back in the day. You would think that the Russian imitating an AMERICAN would satiate the fans chanting USA but it doesn’t quite work that way. A chinlock stays on even shorter than usual but Rusev ties him in the ropes and hits a running Vader clothesline to the back knocking him out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with the champ holding a nerve hold before the fall away slam gets two. Ambrose actually escapes the Accolade attempt and avoids a charge, sending Rusev head first into the post. The Rebound Clothesline sets up the standing elbow (love that move) for two and Ambrose’s tongue is hanging out. They head outside with the champion going into the barricade, only to have Wyatt interfere for the DQ at 13:00.

Rating: C+. These matches are like a vacation: they’re fun while they last but you know you’re going to be disappointed by the ending. There was no doubt that it was going to end by countout or DQ because that’s how these things end in WWE. It’s a problem with how the company books its shows anymore but unfortunately it’s something you have to live with. As usual Dean looks good, but when was the last time he had a fall on a show that actually mattered? And no, Tribute to the Troops doesn’t matter.

Rusev leaves and Bray throws Dean over the timekeeper’s area, only to have Dean come up throwing chairs. About five are thrown into the ring and Bray bails as well. I have no idea where they’re going with this, but it’s modern WWE and a major gimmick match doesn’t end anything anymore.

Miz vs. Jimmy Uso

Cole plugs a new app where you’re a backstage assistant in WWE and solve problems which have nothing to do with anything happening in the ring. Levels include identifying a spot as fatty tissue, yelling at someone for not memorizing a script, trying to figure out what the heck the commentators are talking about and finding stronger ear plugs so HHH doesn’t hear the BORING chants.

Miz kicks him down to start but we get a quick chase scene around the ring. JBL, of course, is talking about fast food mascots. Jimmy can’t hit the running Umaga attack but eats a right hand from Jey. Naturally, that’s not a DQ. Back in and Miz begs off to offer more mainstream connections. The fans aren’t really happy with the match stopping for nearly a minute of Miz standing there with his hand out saying “come on let’s be Usos”, so Jimmy hits two superkicks and the Superfly Splash for the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D. I’m liking the idea of the Usos having some singles matches. Of course it shouldn’t lead anywhere because splitting them up for singles runs would be a terrible idea, but I like that they’re not just doing the same tag match every week. Imagine that: trying something else to keep things fresh for the bigger shows. There’s so much in WWE that is going right but at the same time the big problems are just so wrong.

Ascension is coming next week.

Goldust looks at an electric orb and sees that the new year will be……something we don’t get to hear as the ball shocks him. Stardust comes in to say it’s going to be his year.

Seth Rollins/Big Show vs. Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler and Rollins get things going as Cole recaps Survivor Series gets an achievement for recapping Survivor Series for the 200^th time. A quick hiptoss has Rollins down so it’s off to the power guys. Reigns can’t get things moving too fast thanks to a shoulder from Big Show. Like the masterful heel that he is, Rollins comes in when Roman is down to stomp away. Reigns is able to get back up though due to the power of wetter hair, allowing for the hot tag off to Ziggler.

The Stooges get involved, and somehow don’t get caught, by tripping up Ziggler as we take a break. Back with Dolph fighting out of a chinlock, only to be catapulted into the corner. The fans display their ventriloquism skills by chanting BIG SLOW without moving their mouths….or anything else for that matter. Reigns smiles at Show as the chant is getting annoying in a hurry. A few fans chant for Reigns but they’re quickly drowned out by BIG SLOW.

Show misses a charge and eats a Fameasser, setting up the hot tag to Reigns. Mercury breaks up the Superman Punch and Seth nails the low superkick for two. The fans chant for Reigns (again with the ventriloquism) and he backdrops out of a buckle bomb attempt. The chokeslam doesn’t work either and Dolph levels Big Show with a superkick, setting up the spear for the pin.

Nah I’m kidding. You know Big Show isn’t going to get pinned when there’s some hotshot with a future to take the fall for him. Rollins sends both opponents to the floor and suicide dives Reigns. Back in and Ziggler breaks up the springboard knee, setting up the spear to Rollins for the pin at 13:13.

Rating: C. The match was your standard main event tag (with another bad ending but I guess that huge fall over Show is supposed to make Reigns) but the chants were the most interesting part. Of course they were piped in, but I find it interesting that they seem more interested in playing down Big Show than playing up Reigns.

They were similar to the LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chants: yeah they’re against Cena, but they’re not for his opponent. The chants made this sound like it was all about Big Show with the few Reigns chants only lasting a few seconds compared to the near minute of Show chants. I’m not sure what to make of that.

Overall Rating: C-. Yet another worthless episode of Smackdown with whichever main eventers we have on hand being thrown into a tag team main event. The Ryback vs. Rusev showdown still looks good, though I’m not sure they can stretch it out for another four weeks. Other than that, there really isn’t much to talk about here. It’s another basic episode of the same show they’ve done every Friday for weeks now and I get less and less enthusiastic about it every time. Oh wait Kane actually took a fall. He’s been getting a bit better about that.

Results

Ryback b. Kane – Shell Shock

Naomi b. Alicia Fox – Split legged moonsault

Adam Rose b. R-Truth – Party Foul

Dean Ambrose b. Rusev via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered

Jimmy Uso b. The Miz – Superfly Splash

Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler b. Big Show/Seth Rollins – Spear to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/

We’re up to another show which feels like they’re trying to drain as much blood from the stone of Survivor Series that they can squeeze out. Basically it’s a bunch of singles matches from people who were on the main event teams with gimmicks, more than one of which just do not need to happen. Also, since Lesnar shows up like once every three months, the main event is for Cena’s #1 contendership, but only Cena can leave with it. Is there any reason why this wasn’t the best looking show on paper? Let’s get to it.

The pre-show saw the New Day beat Goldust and Stardust. Would you really expect anything else happening here? That’s really all there is to say here, but I don’t mind the New Day so far. Kofi and Langston have talent and giving them anything to do is a thing idea for them.

The opening match was Luke Harper losing the Intercontinental Title back to Dolph Ziggler in a ladder match in Ziggler’s hometown. This was using the idea of “hit each other really hard with some big ladders” for about fifteen minutes and then have Ziggler win. It’s a great choice for a brawl, but here’s the problem with opening a show with something like this: it’s going to be hard to top. Someday I need to write up a piece on how to structure a card.

Anyway, Ziggler got the title back and that really shouldn’t have shocked anyone. It’s his match in his city (until tomorrow when he was billed from Hollywood, Florida) against a guy that hadn’t actually won a match since he won the title with help. The idea here was that the win elevated Ziggler, but when you think about it, he’s right back to where he was before he was added to Team Cena but now he’s the reason the Authority is gone. Winning the title really doesn’t elevate him any higher than the Survivor Series win did, so I’m not sure if they’re hitting their target on this one.

Earlier in the night, Miz told Naomi that she would be a Hollywood star if he and Mizdow left with the titles. That’s quite the idea, so of course Naomi played absolutely zero role in the title match. Miz hit one of the Usos with a Slammy for the DQ, meaning the story has to continue. They need to do something with Mizdow though because he can only do the same idea so many times before the time is over. I did hear a great idea for how they lose the titles: Mizdow is legal but Miz is down, so Mizdow lays down and takes the pin because Miz isn’t up yet.

The stairs match was the disaster everyone expected it to be. I’ll avoid ranting on Big Show winning again because I think I’ve covered that idea to death already. Here’s the major problem with this match though: why was it a stairs match? The gimmick didn’t get anyone to buy the show, it didn’t help either guy get over, it doesn’t have a history, and it made the match repetitive. There is such a concept as “less is more” and that’s what happened here. This should have been a wrestling match (with Rowan not getting pinned but that’s another story) to give the fans a break from the weapons.

Cena and Rollins had a long and overbooked yet good tables match. I’m not entirely sure what the point was in the tie midway through the match as it really didn’t do anything but extend the match. I guess it lets Rollins say he put Cena through a table but you don’t need the tie to do that. Reigns and Big Show coming down were fine but the match had too much going on. Also, on top of that, what did Rollins have to win here other than pride? Put the #1 contendership on the line or something, because without a title to fight over, it stops meaning much.

Nikki retained over AJ in another nothing match. Three notes here: first of all, Brie said that she’s fine with her sister because they’re family. That’s about as lame of an answer as they could have gone with and is code for “We changed the story. Get over it.” The other note is Nikki Bella ACTUALLY CHEATED to keep the title by using hairspray to blind AJ for the Rack Attack. You know, like a villain is supposed to do. If villains don’t cheat, it’s hard for them to be villains.

Third, to further illustrate how over managed the whole company is, the stuff sprayed in AJ’s eyes was originally called hairspray on WWE.com but they changed it to “an unidentified substance.” Here’s the thing: someone actually looked at that report on WWE.com, saw that it said hairspray, and said no no no it was just some substance.

1. What’s wrong with hairspray?

2. Why not just call it an unidentified substance in the first place?

3. Who in the freaking world cares that it wasn’t actually hairspray??? I know there are some nitpickers out there, but was there really someone out there freezing the screen and zooming in on it to see if it was really hairspray???

4. Who looked at the report and said “CHANGE THIS IMMEDIATELY!!!!”? I really want to know who is in charge of the “identifying what Nikki Bella uses to cheat to win matches” department at WWE.com.

5. Someone is being paid to change hairspray to unidentified substance. Remember that the next time you’re looking for a job.

Next up was Ryback vs. Kane in a chairs match. Here’s a quicker way to cover this one. Read this but substitute Kane for Big Show, Ryback for Erick Rowan, chairs for stairs and swap the winner.

The stairs match was the disaster everyone expected it to be. I’ll avoid ranting on Big Show winning again because I think I’ve covered that idea to death already. Here’s the major problem with this match though: why was it a stairs match? The gimmick didn’t get anyone to buy the show, it didn’t help either guy get over, it doesn’t have a history, and it made the match repetitive. There is such a concept as “less is more” and that’s what happened here. This should have been a wrestling match (with Rowan not getting pinned but that’s another story) to give the fans a break from the weapons.

Rusev b. Swagger Part 19.

Wyatt beat Dean Ambrose in the namesake match when a TV monitor blew up in Dean’s face so Bray could hit Sister Abigail. I’ll skip all the spots and get down to the message of this match: sometimes someone has to lose a match. Anymore WWE seems obsessed with finding ways for someone to slip on a banana peel to lose after dominating for most of the match. Sometimes you have to have someone win and someone lose without some big gimmick ending.

If you’re trying to elevate both guys, having one put up a heck of a fight but come up short isn’t going to kill them (see Cactus Jack vs. HHH in 2000 for proof) but having Ambrose lose like he did here and in the Cell make me roll my eyes and forget the rest of the match. Tell me: how many things do you remember about the match outside of the ending? It was a good match but no one is talking about anything but the ending and how stupid it made Ambrose look. Get the idea here?

Overall this show had too much thought put into it and the whole thing got screwed up. The chairs and stairs matches could have been wrestling matches and the main event being worth anything (#30 in the Rumble perhaps?) would have helped it a ton. At the end of the day, Lesnar and the title not being around is killing this company and they need to get the title off of him as soon as possible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/

Yeah I know a lot of people are doing something like this but it’s the best I’ve got.

 

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-12-days-wrestling-christmas/32816/

Tribute to the Troops 2014
Date: December 17, 2014
Location: Columbus Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s that special time of year when WWE gets to put in very little effort and bang their chests to brag about how amazing they are for doing something for the troops. Ignore the fact that they no longer go across the world to do these shows or even hold them in a military base anymore and enjoy meaningless matches, unnecessary musical performances and recorded cameos by celebrities who aren’t actually appearing in person. Did I mention this show has lost its shine for me in the last few years? Let’s get to it.

Will Ferrell, the Osbornes, Rachel Maddow, the Muppets, Michael Strahan, Kelly Ripa, Aaron Rogers, Bruce Willis, Stephen Colbert, a bunch of wrestlers and celebrities that I either don’t recognize or go too fast to type love the troops.

Here’s Hulk Hogan with an American flag, walking between some troops to open the show. Really, is there anyone else that should be doing something like this? He talks about how great it is to live in this country but gets cut off by Miz and Mizdow (minus Slammys and titles). Miz says you’re welcome to everyone here for portraying a marine in his signature role. When you think pillar of strength of the military, you think Miz.

This brings out John Cena to apologize for Miz, who is either drunk or has amnesia. When Cena thinks of toughness, he thinks of the armed forces. When he thinks of Miz, it’s something a whole lot more metrosexual. Like Ryan Seacrest for example. The Miz compares himself to Bob Hope and says dying children ask people to win one for the Miz. Cena of course doesn’t believe it and polls the fans on whether or not Miz is a big deal.

Miz laughs it off and says that it’s Hogan in the ring with Miz instead of him being in the ring with Hogan. He brings up the Wrestlemania XXVII loss and says he played a more convincing soldier than Cena ever could. The brawl is on and Mizdow ie left alone for his team. He mimes getting beaten up by Cena and dives over the ropes on his own in a funny bit.

This brings out Team Authority minus Rusev but plus Big Show because even specials need to have long opening segments. The beatdown is on but Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler come out for the save. Team Cena and Hogan stand tall in an actual feel good moment. Hogan has been the Real American for over thirty years and you have to have him here for something like this.

Angelina Jolie loves the troops and plugs her new movie Unbroken.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos

Goldust talks trash to Jey to start and eats an uppercut for his efforts. Off to Stardust who gets punched in the face as well before it’s off to Jimmy for a slam. Goldust gets in a cheap shot from the apron but Jimmy stops to dance. The Usos knock the Dusts to the floor for some big dives as we take a break. Back with Jey being sent to the floor for a stomping from Stardust as Cole talks about how amazing Fort Benning is.

Stardust works on an armbar before kicking Jey in the face for two. Goldust gets the same off a powerslam and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and makes the hot tag to his brother for some house cleaning. The Umaga attack stuns Stardust and the enziguri sends Goldust to the floor. There’s a big dive from Jey but Jimmy takes the Disaster Kick for two. Jimmy pops back up with a corkscrew dive for two more. Jey superkicks Stardust down and the double superkick sets up Superfly Splashes for the stereo pin at 10:38.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it’s the same one we’ve seen half a dozen times now. The Usos continue to have great rhythm together which you can only find in actual brothers. The Dusts on the other hand are still falling apart, even though they’re staying sharp in the ring. I’d assume we’ll get to the split eventually, which I don’t hate as much as I used to.

Lester Holt loves the troops.

The cast of the Voice loves the troops.

Florida Georgia Line performs.

Tom Brokaw loves the troops.

Divas Battle Royal

All of the Divas are here in either Christmas themed attire or at least a Santa hat. It’s a brawl to start with Emma quickly being eliminated. Rosa and Summer have a dance off as the rest of the match just stops. Thankfully they get together and eliminate the pair but Cameron stops to check her compact. Naomi takes it away and holds it out, making Cameron stop to look at herself again, giving Naomi the easy elimination.

The Bellas throw Alicia out, leaving us with the Bellas, Paige, Naomi and Natalya. Paige busts out some mistletoe but the Bellas kick her to the floor. Naomi tries to jump over Nikki in the corner but gets planted with an Alabama Slam. Brie eliminates herself by missing a baseball slide, allowing Naomi to dump the other two out for the win at 3:45.

Rating: D+. This is there so the girls can look good in their outfits and nothing more. It wasn’t entertaining for the most part but thankfully they kept this very short. This is a tradition for the show and at the end of the day, it’s one of those things there for the fans and nothing more.

Video of the roster visiting the troops.

Sgt. Slaughter tells us to stick around.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Boot Camp match, meaning a military themed street fight. Sgt. Slaughter does the introductions for old times’ sake. Ambrose comes out in a camouflage hat to really suck up to the fans. It’s a brawl to start of course with Dean hitting his dropkick against the ropes. Bray comes back with a slam as we’re waiting on the weapons to come into play. Dean comes back with what looked like a bulldog to send Bray outside, setting up the suicide dive.

They head to the camouflaged posts before Dean hits him with what looked like a tool box. Since there aren’t enough weapons in the ring, Dean goes underneath to find some chairs, one of which he wedges in the corner. Bray comes back with a kendo stick shot and hammers away on Dean’s ribs. Some right hands get two on Ambrose as the announcers debate G.I. Joes.

We take a break and come back with Dean fighting out of a cravate but eating a right hand to the face. A big kendo stick shot gets two and Bray slowly kicks away. Bray misses a big shot though and Dean takes the stick away. Wyatt seems to like the idea but doesn’t like the beating Ambrose gives him as much. A White Russian legsweep and middle rope elbow with the chair get two for Dean so he starts looking for more toys. He picks a table but takes too long setting it up, allowing Bray to Rock Bottom Ambrose through the table for two.

Wyatt busts out another table but stops to get in Slaughter’s face, allowing Dean to get a breather. Slaughter takes off his boot as Dean comes back with the rebound clothesline. The steel toed boot comes into the ring and goes upside Bray’s head to knock him onto the table. Dean heads up top for the elbow through the table for the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C+. This was violent enough to be entertaining but the gimmick was just there to tie things together. In other words, this was a basic street fight with nothing special other than the last spot of the match. Nothing much to see here, but these two have done so much that it’s hard to find something new.

We recap the opening segment.

Jamie Fox and Cameron Diaz love the troops and plug their new movie Annie.

The Kardashians love the troops.

Here are Lana and Rusev to what should be better heat. She says the fans are lucky to be in the presence of the greatest US Champion of all time to make them a bit angrier. The fans shout Rusev down with the USA chant so Lana puts up the Putin photo. She issues something like an open challenge and here’s Daniel Bryan to interrupt and fire up the crowd all over again.

Bryan says the thing the Russians don’t understand about Americans is that they never back down. It doesn’t matter if you’re 5’5 like Bryan (that’s a bit low) or 7’2, Democrat or Republican, we fight no matter what. If Rusev and Lana don’t like that, they should go back to Russia. Lana laughs him off and Rusev invites Bryan out to the floor. Daniel asks if Rusev wants to do all this right in front of the troops. The thing about Americans is they’ll come from anywhere to defend their freedoms. A few troops start jumping the barricade and two repel from the ceiling to surround Rusev. Bryan gets in the ring but Rusev bails.

The vast of the Today Show loves the troops.

Larry the Cable Guy loves the troops.

Florida Georgia Line performs again.

Team Cena goes over their game plan (an actual piece of paper labeled “game plan”).

Video on Hire Heroes.

Ryback/John Cena/Erick Rowan/Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane/Luke Harper/Big Show/Seth Rollins

Ryback and Rollins get things going with Seth being powered back into the corner. We hit the wristlock on Rollins before it’s off to Rowan for a big (red) slam. The good guys keep their control until Seth decks Ziggler with a right hand. Dolph is able to escape a delayed suplex from Harper though and tags in Ryback for a delayed suplex of his own, complete with FEED ME MORE, for two. Ziggler comes back in with a dropkick but it’s off to Rollins to take over again. The running DDT gets a quick two on Seth but everything breaks down with the bad guys standing tall as we take a break.

Back with Big Show throwing Ziggler around before it’s off to Kane. The announcers talk about Kane attacking the Bunny with JBL talking about how great a moment it was. Instead of letting the potential new fans say “what are they talking about? That sounds kind of interesting.”, Cole is right there to explain that it’s just a guy in a bunny suit to kill the idea dead.

Rollins comes back in and stomps away but Ziggler gets in a shot and DIVES over for the tag to Cena. Harper comes in as well to take the finishing sequence but Rollins breaks up the AA attempt. Kane breaks up the STF and it’s secondary finishers a go-go. The AA plants Show and Cena AA’s Harper onto Big show, but makes sure to shove Show out of the way so he can pin Harper at 13:37.

Rating: D+. You know, they almost had me here. They had me buying into this for just a second but then I lost the little hope I had. I can’t believe it, but for a second I thought Big Show might actually do a job here. Thankfully reality set in as Cena made sure to shove Big Show out of the way after the AA and having Harper land on him so harper could take the pin. I was getting worried there for a second.

Hogan comes out to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I didn’t get as annoyed with this show as I have in the past but it’s still not really necessary. Back in the day when the actually went to Iraq and Afghanistan, the show felt like something special and unique. Now it feels like a star (pre-recorded cameo) studded house show with four matches and little effort. It also doesn’t help that this makes eleven hours (counting Sunday’s pre-show) of WWE in four days. If you watch all the shows like WWE implores you to do, the burnout hit somewhere around the middle of Smackdown last night. The show wasn’t bad, but it came and went and I won’t think of it again.

Results

Usos b. Goldust/Stardust – Double Superfly Splash

Naomi won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya

Dean Ambrose b. Bray Wyatt – Top rope elbow through a table

John Cena/Erick Rowan/Dolph Ziggler/Ryback b. Big Show/Luke Harper/Kane/Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment to Harper

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/

Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2014
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commenators: Tom Phillips, Michae Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Welcome to one of the only times all year that WWE remembers this show matters. This is a special live edition of the show airing on a Tuesday instead of the usual taped Friday timeslot. We’re coming off a fairly dull show last night and the only thing of note is that Bray and Dean are both in the building tonight. Not in a match or anythign mind you, but in the building. Let’s get to it.

Cole says this is the 800^th episode. Apparently that’s correct, even though this is the first mention of the milestone.

Roman Reigns vs. Fandango

We get a quick recap of last night and the question now is how long does this last. Feeling out process to start until Reigns easily throws him down. Fandango actually takes him down into a chinlock as the crowd dies a bit. Reigns fights up and responds to the canned chants with a big running clothesline. There’s the Superman Punch and the spear is good for the pin at 4:47.

Result: D+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be as Reigns just ended Fandango with that spear. Speaking of ending Fandango, it’s about that time. His gimmick stopped being entertaining months ago and this idea of the new and improved version sounds more like a joke than anything else.

Quick package on the TLC match.

Here’s Ambrose for a chat. He talks about all the horrible things he and Bray did to each other but then an act of God made him lose. However, he saw a look in Bray’s eyes that showed him how crazy Dean was. For once Wyatt was in the ring with someone just as insane as he is. They face each other tomorrow night at Tribute to the Troops in a Boot Camp Match.

Bray comes up on screen to say that Ambrose is still breathing because Bray is enjoying this game. If anyone could see the creature behind his eyes, they would know that he is disdain and the slayer of his calling. He won’t stop until he sees all the heroes fall and the cities crumble. Bray is the battlefield and it will all burn.

Usos/Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper/Miz/Damien Mizdow

This is Rowan’s second match tonight as he lost to Kane on Main Event thanks to Titus O’Neil. The fans are of course behind Mizdow more than the real version but Harper doesn’t seem to like either of them. Luke knocks Jey down into the corner to start but Jey comes back with an uppercut to the jaw. Off to Miz as everyone heads to the floor, leading to a big standoff and a break.

Back with Jimmy fighting out of a Harper chinlock but walking into a big superkick. Miz comes back in and chokes on the ropes a lot, only to get caught in a rollup for two. Mizdow holds out his hand but it’s off to Harper instead. Harper puts on the Gator Roll and Mizdow mimics him, ticking off Miz.

The heels start arguing and nearly allow a hot tag off to Jey. Mizdow finally tags himself in to the pop of the night, but Miz tags himself back in when Mizdow tries the corner clothesline. The distraction lets Jimmy make the tag off to Rowan to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Usos knock Harper onto the announcers’ table. Rowan busts out a top rope splash and actually gets a pin on Miz at 11:50.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here as it’s a standard six man tag on this show. At least Rowan finally got a pin, even though it’s an hour removed from jobbing to Kane. I don’t have much hope for him due to how they’ve treated him so far, but at least he got a win here. On a show that means almost nothing.

Naomi, who has a Divas Title shot tonight thanks to Miz, is fired up for her match. Jimmy is excited as well and can’t wait to be at ringside. Actually Naomi would rather do this one on her own, which Jimmy reluctantly agrees to.

We recap Chris Jericho and the cage match from Raw last night.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

No match actually as Rusev jumps Ryback during his entrance and knocks him off the stage.

Rollins says this is what happens when there’s no Authority to keep things in line. He brags about winning his war with Cena last night and says it’s time for a night off. Cue Dolph Ziggler in street clothes for an interruption. He shares credit with Sting for getting rid of the Authority and reminds Rollins that it was the night he beat him. Ziggler throws out a challenge but Rollins doesn’t think so. Dolph suggests that Seth is scared so Rollins says it’s just Dolph Ziggler and accepts.

Ascension is coming.

Divas Title: Naomi vs. Nikki Bella

Naomi is challenging, somehow due to Miz’s Hollywood connections. This actually gets big match intros. Naomi knocks her out of the corner to start and hits a kind of running double knee to the face for two. An Alabama Slam and slingshot suplex get two each for the champ and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere as Naomi fights up, only to collide with Nikki to put both girls down. Miz comes out to cheer for Naomi, who snaps Nikki’s throat across the top for two. Nikki sends her outside and Miz is there for a pep talk. This brings out Jimmy to chase him off but the distraction lets Nikki small package Naomi to retain at 4:15.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special but this was perfect for the story. You can tell they’ve actually put something together here and have some thought to it. They’re using real life and fictitious characters to make something interesting and I’m interested in seeing where it’s going. Why don’t they do this more often?

As soon as the match ends and Naomi looks at Jimmy, Cole tells us about a poll on the WWE App that thinks Miz is up to no good. That line sums up one of WWE’s biggest problems right now. We have an interesting story going on with another new development but COle has to stop to plug a totally meaningless poll that hasn’t been mentioned until just now and tells us something that anyone with a brain could figure out. Stop telling us about everything else you can think of to plug and talk about what’s going on right in front of you.

Adam Rose vs. Kane

The Bunny is now in a neck brace. Kane knocks Rose down to start but walks into a clothesline and a high cross body, but Adam stops to dance. The big boot and chokeslam end this in 1:18.

Kane tombstones the Bunny again.

Rollins talks about how he’s going to go after John Cena and ruin everything he does until the Authority comes back. If that means he has to work with Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar, so be it.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title. Rollins, sporting bruised ribs, bails to the floor to start before heading back inside, only to have Dolph throw him right back outside. Back in and Seth kicks him in the ribs to take over before dropping Dolph with some clotheslines. Ziggler tries a quick Zig Zag but gets sent to the floor, allowing Noble to get in a cheap shot as we take a break.

Back with Rollins in full control and taking his sweet time hammering on Ziggler. A hard running clothesline puts Dolph down again and Rollins sends him out to the floor. With Noble shouting encouragement in that country accent, Rollins goes up but gets knocked down onto the ribs. Dolph scores with a dropkick for two, ducks the enziguri and nails the running DDT for two more.

Now Seth’s enziguri connects but he takes too much time going up, allowing Dolph to run the corner for a top rope faceplant. The Stooges offer a distraction so Dolph backdrops Rollins over the top and down onto both of them. Fameasser gets two back inside but Noble nails Dolph with a cheap shot. That earns the Stooges an ejection, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 15:13.

Rating: B-. I’m torn here. For one thing, I’m glad that they give Ziggler a big win like this, but at the same time they give Rollins a huge win last night and then have him job here. The one time they should have had a run-in finish and they actually have a fall. It does help that the Stooges’ distraction led to the finish, but I’d have preferred if he wasn’t pinned in the middle of the ring.

Ziggler escapes a beating to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was your standard Smackdown: some decent wrestling, some one off matches, and nothing of note happening. There was nothing special about this one and this week is already feeling more like a headache than something to look forward to. Tomorrow’s special is likely to feel like a glorified house show and Raw was nothing special either. Is it any wonder why there’s no interest in the product at the moment? Not only is the show dull, but there’s a ton of it at the moment. It’s not the worst show, but there’s no reason to watch it, as usual.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Fandango – Spear

Usos/Erick Rowan b. Miz/Damien Mizdow/Luke Harper – Top rope splash to Miz

Nikki Bella b. Naomi – Small package

Kane b. Adam Rose – Chokeslam

Dolph Ziggler b. Seth Rollins – Zig Zag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Tables Ladders and Chairs 2014
Date: December 14, 2014
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re wrapping up the PPV schedule this year with Survivor Series Part II here, as most of the matches are just singles versions of matches from last month’s main event. The main event will either be Cena vs. Rollins in a tables match with Cena’s #1 contendership on the line or Wyatt vs. Ambrose in a TLC match with nothing on the line. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: New Day vs. Goldust/Stardust

Woods is on the floor as Goldust shoulders Kofi down to start. Kingston comes back with an armdrag into an armbar as the announcers are talking about Great Gazoo from the Flintstones. The discussion breaks down into a talk about jumping the shark. JBL: “That’s when you put something stupid to get people to stay with your show.” Cole: “Like MizTV.” Off to Big E. and Stardust as JBL lists off E.’s powerlifting records.

E. throws Stardust into the air for a dropkick from Kofi for two off a big crash. The Dusts head outside with Big E. launching Kofi onto both guys as New Day is in full control. Back in and the Dusts take over on Big E. in the corner as Lawler is back to the Great Gazoo thing as they debate which show he was on.

As the wrestling match in the background goes on, Kofi gets the hot tag and cleans house with dropkicks. The New Day Drop has Stardust in trouble but he sends Kofi’s shoulder into the post, followed by Goldust whipping him into the barricade. A double stomp in the corner has Kofi in even more trouble and Stardust busts out Colt Cabana’s Billy Goat’s Curse (reverse Boston crab).

Kingston flips out of a double belly to back suplex and dives over for the hot tag to Big E. Everything breaks down and Stardust nails Big E. for two and we get a plug for the Flinstones/WWE movie. The Midnight Hour (Big Ending/Top rope DDT) ends Stardust as 11:08.

Rating: C-. Nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw or Smackdown here as the announcers got on my nerves and the match was just ok. Big E and Kofi are a good team and that’s a solid finisher, but I’m not entirely sure where they go from here. It’s not too early for them to go after the tag belts is it?

The opening video is all about the violence and talks about how the weapons will be the most important things all night.

Intercontinental Title: Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler comes out in his Kent State jacket and is the huge hometown favorite as well as the challenger. An early superkick attempt sends Harper bailing to the floor but he quickly throws Ziggler into a ladder and then into the timekeeper’s area. Ziggler tries to make a fast save but eats a big boot for his efforts. Luke bridges the big ladder between the announcers’ table and ring but Ziggler escapes, only to charge into a spinning Boss Man Slam on the floor.

Back in and Ziggler is sent face first into the ladder, which falls down onto him in a big crash. Luke puts Ziggler behind a ladder in the corner but Ziggler slams it into his face. He heads up top and looks to drive the ladder down onto Harper but Luke dropkicks the ladder, sending Ziggler down to the floor. The champ throws the ladder at Ziggler and nails him in the face for another painful landing.

Ziggler slowly gets back up and picks up a ladder, so Harper tries a suicide dive and hits said ladder before crashing onto the ladder in a horrible looking crash. He’s still able to stop a climbing Ziggler though and sends him down onto the ropes. Ziggler escapes a powerbomb and dropkicks the champ onto the ladder to get a breather. The Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb onto a ladder bridged in the corner to make me cringe again. The cuts and bruises on Ziggler’s side are disturbing.

Harper puts a ladder onto Ziggler’s body and catapults both of them into the bottom rope. Ziggler is busted open and thankfully Harper starts climbing, only to have Dolph shove the doctor away and charge up to make a save with right hands. Both guys come crashing down but it’s Harper up first. His powerbomb is countered into a wicked faceplant into the ladder and Ziggler shouts DDT. He climbs up, Harper tries for a save, and Ziggler dives down with a DDT.

Luke does the ladder around the neck spot but eats a superkick to knock him down again. Another shot with the ladder sends Harper (bleeding from the arm) onto the bridged ladder outside. Harper somehow gets back in for a save though, sending Ziggler into the ropes. Back up and Dolph rides a ladder into Harper to crush him against the standing ladder but Harper makes another save. A kick to the face knocks Harper off the second ladder and Ziggler FINALLY wins the title at 16:39.

Rating: B. In probably the only time you’ll hear this comparison brought up with Ziggler and/or Harper, this was like Lelani Kai taking the Women’s Title from Wendi Richter in 1985. The idea was to give the heel a quick run so the hero(ine) could get a big win on the major stage. Ziggler wins in a feel good moment here, which just happened to come after a very hard hitting match. Good stuff here and a really solid match.

The announcers treat this like a career making win. I wouldn’t go that far.

We see Miz offering Naomi a deal on the pre-show: if he leaves as champion, she gets to be a star. Naomi says that her only goal is to be Divas Champion but she doesn’t seem sure.

Tag Team Titles: Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Usos

Usos are challenging with Jimmy and Miz (also from Cleveland) trading near falls a few seconds in. Jimmy chases Miz around the ring as the fans want Mizdow. Back in and Jimmy tackles Miz down and hammers away as Miz was the one that made things personal. The brothers load Miz up for a double suplex so Mizdow does a handstand in the corner. A clothesline puts Miz on the floor and the Usos hit their big dive, only to have Miz take over back inside.

We hit the chinlock on Jey for a bit before he easily escapes and makes the hot tag off to Jimmy. Miz gets knocked down in the corner so Mizdow does exactly the same thing without being touched. Only Miz takes the running Umaga attack as Mizdow is smart enough to roll outside.

The distraction lets Miz get in a cheap shot to take over and everything breaks down. The Finale puts Jey down but Jimmy busts out Konnan’s Tequila Sunrise of all things but Miz makes the rope. That’s fine with Jimmy who loads up the Superfly Slash, sending the champs to the floor in retreat. Jimmy dives on Mizdow but eats a Slammy to the face for the DQ at 7:10.

Rating: C-. So after all those weeks and the only interesting thing in the feud, Naomi meant nothing whatsoever. That’s quite the boring way to end the match, which wasn’t all that great in the first place. At least the Usos didn’t win the belts back, which is an odd thing to say as I like the team. Just not as champions again this fast.

Rollins dedicates his win tonight to the Authority and promises to destroy Cena until John agrees to bring the Authority back.

We get a tale of the tape…..of the stairs. Seriously.

Big Show vs. Erick Rowan

This is a stairs match, which I guess means the stairs can be used. Rowan hammers away to start but they quickly head to the floor where Show easily slams him. So there’s no DQ and you can use the stairs. If there’s no DQ, why can’t you use everything else? Rowan is whipped into the stairs but comes back to ram them into Show’s face. That’s fine with Show as he bounces Rowan off the post and throws him back inside.

Show changes his mind and puts the steps on the announcers’ table. A big whip has Rowan in even more trouble so the fans tell Big Show that he sucks. Back in and Show crushes Rowan in the back with the stairs again before wedging them in the corner. A whip sends Rowan into said steps but he pops up and slams Show down onto another set.

Erick can’t crush him with another set and Rowan falls to the floor off the impact. Show spears Rowan into a pile of stairs as this just keeps going. Back in and Show chokeslams him onto the steps and hits the KO but doesn’t cover. Instead he pins Rowan with the stairs for the three count at 11:15.

Rating: D. Big Show won. Again. Because we can’t have Big Show lose like ever right? This was a waste of Rowan’s push and basically said that he’s in the second tier of giants. Show is 42 years old and winning matches on pay per view over a new and creative character because….I have no idea why. The match sucked too as it was just a bunch of spots that happened to have stairs involved.

We recap Cena vs. Rollins. This started at Night of Champions when Rollins saved Lesnar from Cena, setting up the events of Survivor Series, where Rollins got a pin after Big Show KO’d Cena. Tonight it’s a tables match and if Cena loses, he is no longer #1 contender and Rollins gains nothing.

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

I’m kind of shocked this is happening so early. Heyman is watching at ringside as Lesnar’s next title defense is announced for Royal Rumble. Cena starts fast and takes Rollins’ head off with a clothesline. The Stooges take the table away though, allowing Rollins to get in a cheap shot to take over. He lays the table over the top rope in the corner but the Stooges knock it away when Cena loads up a powerbomb. A quick triple teaming puts Cena down and Seth takes over again.

Cena is in trouble in the corner but Seth stops to pose a bit, soaking in a few LET’S GO ROLLINS chants in the process. The distraction lets Cena get in some of his usual to take over, drawing in the Stooges for another beatdown. They load up a TripleBomb through a table but Cena fights out and bails to the floor. He heads to the entrance and finds a piece of the barricade. Noble chases after him and takes a suplex on the barricade (JBL: “CALL NIDIA AND TELL HER HE’S HURT!”).

Cena swings a table but hits the post so he throws Mercury into the timekeeper’s area to make it one on one. Rollins whips Cena into the barricade and sets up a pair of tables on the floor. He can’t quite suplex Cena through them though and gets suplexed back into the ring. Both guys are down but it’s Rollins up first, only to be backdropped out to the floor. A Money in the Bank shot to the face drops Cena and Rollins loads up another table. He spends too much time mocking Cena though and gets caught in the AA, only to have the ref get bumped.

Rollins escapes anyway and kicks Cena onto the table. He heads up top, only to get AA’d through the table. No referee though so the Stooges come in to clean up the evidence. Cena fights out of another TripleBomb and AA’s both Stooges through a table at the same time. That’s always cool to see. Rollins comes back in but fights out of another AA attempt as both guys wind up on the apron. Both guys fall through the double tables at the same time at 18:30.

Multiple referees come out to say either guy won but no one can figure it out. We restart the match with Rollins sneding him to the floor for a big dive. Cena pops up and hits an AA onto the announcers’ table but it doesn’t break. Instead of just doing it again, Cena puts another table up in the corner as Big Show comes out. He clears some of the broken table out of the ring and beats up Cena with ease. The chokeslam is loaded up but Roman Reigns returns through the crowd and Superman Punches Show down. A spear drives him through a table and Rollins eats one as well, setting up the AA through the table for the win at 23:30 total.

Rating: B-. Well it wasn’t clean. Actually it was closer to filthy but I don’t think anyone expected any other ending. Reigns returning to set up his big showdown with Rollins is a good thing, but I’m not all that jazzed about Cena vs. Lesnar again, especially if it ends with Big Show interfering again. Seriously why can’t he just go away? Match was fun but a bit tiring.

Pre-show recap and expert panel preview.

The Bellas are ready for Nikki’s title defense. Brie shrugs off everything Nikki has done to her by saying blood is thicker than water.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki is defending after her sister helped her take the title last month. The champ bails to the floor to start before AJ knocks her back outside. A cheap shot from Brie is enough to let Nikki take over back inside and the slow motion offense begins. She bends AJ’s back around the post in a painful looking move before cranking on both arms at once.

Off to a chinlock as the announcers debate if Brie is lurking or not. AJ reverses into a guillotine choke but Nikki drives her into the corner to break it up. A neckbreaker gets two for AJ and Nikki gets the same off a shot to the face. AJ pops back up with a Shining Wizard but Brie puts her sister’s foot on the ropes, earning her an ejection. The distraction lets Nikki spray something in AJ’s face, setting up the Rack Attack to retain at 7:28.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible but Brie telling her sister to GET STRONG sounded so stupid. Like I’ve said for months, the Bellas just aren’t interesting characters. They’re portrayed as these girls that have worked so hard to get where they are but they come off like these stuck up girls that have no fire in them and who would be squashed like a bug by anyone other high level Diva ever.

Reigns says it feels great to be back and enters himself in the Rumble. Last year (this year actually) was nothing compared to what he’ll do this year (meaning next).

Kane vs. Ryback

Chairs match over who is the real monster. They duel with chairs to start until Kane gets in the first significant shot to take over. Ryback comes back with a hard clothesline and three middle rope splashes to put Kane down. Kane nails him with a few chair shots to the back and loads the chair up in the corner before ramming Ryback face first for two. A running DDT on the chair gets the same and Kane just unloads on Ryback with the chair.

That’s not enough for Kane though so he throws in a bunch of chairs so he can have his pick. He sets two of them next to each other in the middle of the ring but Ryback slams Kane through both of them. Now it’s Ryback destroying Kane with the chair but the Meathook is countered with a pelted chair to the face. The chokeslam gets two but the Tombstone is countered, setting up the Meathook and Shell Shock for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: D+. This was better than the stairs match but it still didn’t do anything for me. At the end of the day it’s nice to see Kane finally take a fall so it’s not infuriating like the Rowan match, but it just kept going and only does a little bit for Ryback. He does seem to be a bigger player now than he was a few weeks ago though so there’s potential there.

US Title: Rusev vs. Jack Swagger

Rusev is defending and broke Swagger’s mentor’s leg to set this up. Jack cuts off Lana’s speech and goes right for Rusev, nailing him with a big clothesline. He takes out Rusev’s ankle and the champion can barely stand. The Vader Bomb misses but Swagger counters the superkick into the Patriot Lock but Rusev rolls through into an Accolade attempt. Jack is too close to the ropes though and the hold doesn’t go on. And never mind as Rusev puts it on a few seconds later but Jack hangs on for almost a minute. He gets to his knees and rolls over into the Patriot Lock but Rusev gets to the ropes. A second superkick puts Swagger on the floor and a third sets up the Accolade to make Swagger tap at 4:52.

Rating: D. Have they killed Swagger enough yet? They’ve certainly killed my interest in the guy for a good while as they’ve done the same match over and over again with nothing really changing. We get the idea already: someone has to stand up for America and it’s not going to be Swagger. Find someone else already.

We recap Ambrose vs. Wyatt. Bray cost Dean his match inside the Cell against Rollins and Ambrose has gone after him ever since. They had a fight last month and then Dean destroyed the rocking chair that used to belong to Bray’s Sister Abigail. This is a TLC match for the big war.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Since there’s nothing to put over the ring, you win by pinfall or submission. Dean nails him from the apron and the fight is on in the aisle. A suicide dive takes Bray down again and Ambrose sends him into the barricade for good measure. Ambrose clotheslines Bray into the crowd as they fight near the expert panel area. Bray is down so Dean dives off the panel’s table to take him down again.

Back to ringside now with Dean nailing him with a chair as Bray might be bleeding from the arm. They slug it out again with Dean in full control and setting up a table on the floor. Now it’s kendo sticks time but Bray locks eyes with Ambrose. He tells Dean to hit him but tries to grab a chair, earning him a hard stick shot to the head. A White Russian legsweep drops Bray again as this is one sided in the first five minutes. Dean goes after him with the stick again but Wyatt kicks him off the apron and through the table at ringside.

Bray puts the kendo stick in the corner sticking out and whips Ambrose face first into the end for a unique move. Now the ladder is brought in and set up in the corner but Dean sends Bray into the steel to take over. A bulldog gets two and Dean puts the ladder over the corner. He drapes Bray over the middle rope for a top rope Fameasser onto a chair. The finishers are countered but Bray just ENDS him with a clothesline for two.

Ambrose comes back with a ladder shot and takes Bray into the aisle. There just happens to be a table there so Bray is placed on top, setting up an Ambrose elbow from a ladder. Dean has that crazy look on his face and puts Bray on another table for a second elbow from an even higher ladder. Both guys are down now but stagger back to the ring where Bray hits a quick Sister Abigail for two. He tries another with the kiss but Dean reverses into a rollup for two. Dean sends him face first into the ladder and nails Dirty Deeds for a delayed two.

Ambrose goes under the ring and finds a live monitor (Cole: “That’s for our technicians. JBL: “And they live under the ring?”) which shows him a bunch of ladders near the entrance. He goes and finds the biggest ladder in the building and sets it up next to the ring but Bray is back up.

Dean blocks another attempt to crush his throat on the post with the chair like Bray did to him, only to do it right back to Bray like the crazy man he is. A third elbow off the huge ladder crushes Wyatt through the announcers’ table and both guys are down. They slowly get back in and Dean gets the monitor, only to have it blow up in his face. Dean is blinded, allowing another Sister Abigail to knock him out for the pin at 27:26.

Rating: A-. It was a wild brawl and a good way to end the show, but I’m only lukewarm on the ending. That’s far more logical of an ending than whatever they did in the Cell, but it’s still not the best. Wyatt getting a big win in the main event of a PPV certainly isn’t a bad thing though and Dean isn’t beaten clean so everyone wins, but it’s still not great and needed a bigger spot to end things.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was good enough for the carnage but the bad stuff REALLY dragged it down. I’m really worried about the Big Show’s continued push but that’s something you have to live with in WWE. This is a show where the good was really good but the bad was really boring, which cancels out a lot of the hard work. The main event scene still needs a huge makeover, but it could have been a lot worse. The fact that this came three days after Takeover didn’t do it any favors though.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Luke Harper – Ziggler pulled down the title

Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdow via DQ when Miz hit Jimmy with a Slammy

Big Show b. Erick Rowan – KO Punch

John Cena b. Seth Rollina – Attitude Adjustment through a table

Nikki Bella b. AJ Lee – Rack Attack

Ryback b. Kane – Shell Shock

Rusev b. Jack Swagger – Accolade

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Sister Abigail

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Smackdown
Date: December 12, 2014
Location: Columbus Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for TLC and I’m actually looking forward to the show. Granted it’s nowhere near as much as I was looking forward to Takeover last night but that’s not a fair comparison. I’m sure the main event will be yet another tag match with people from the Survivor Series main event involved because Heaven forbid we ask the writers to come up with ANYTHING else. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw with the latest huge brawl. These things are really running together. Also do the recaps really need to go on for three minutes?

Opening sequence.

Here’s Cena to open things up but Rollins interrupts him after just a few seconds. Rollins says Cena is in this spot because he’s done exactly what he’s promised to do over the last ten years. That all ends on Sunday though because Rollins will set the new standard of doing everything he says he’ll do. The future may have to go through Cena, but there is no future without Seth Rollins. You might even say that Cena’s time is up and Rollins’ time is now.

Cena says this is the day that Rollins has become a man, because he doesn’t see the Shield or Authority around him. Instead Cena sees a proud man standing on his own for the first time. That’s exactly what Cena want too, because Monday morning, Seth is going to have to look in the mirror and say he isn’t ready. The future isn’t Sunday, next week or next year. The future is now because John Cena is here.

Seth says Cena keeps talking about the future like it’s some far off concept, but it’s been here since Rollins set foot in WWE and everything leads to this Sunday. At TLC, Seth isn’t just taking away Cena’s chance at being champion again. Sunday is the beginning of the end of John Cena. A Cena chant starts up but Seth shouts it down, saying Cena becomes a memory after TLC with the rise of the new standard bearer, Seth Rollins.

Cena calls Rollins a fool but if Rollins wants to talk like a man, he needs to listen up. This is Cena’s life and if Seth thinks he’s getting rid of Cena, he can line up with all the other people that have said those same things. Rollins can stand with Rene Dupree, HHH, Orlando Jordan and the Rock, because Cena has survived them all. REALLY good exchange here, but I don’t buy Rollins having a chance on Sunday because we have to get to Lesnar vs. Cena III, even though the interest doesn’t seem to be there.

The main event is Rowan/Ryback/Ziggler vs. Harper/Show/Kane. Of course it is.

The Ascension is coming. It’s about time.

Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Miz/Mizdow are on commentary and Mizdow has a mini-Slammy. Before the match, Kidd and Cesaro say they’re ready to grab the brass ring like Vince told them to. That line is sounding more and more like a plot device every week. Jimmy and Kidd get things going as Naomi is watching in the back. Off to Jey for a top rope elbow to the arm but Tyson drives him into the corner for some shoulders from Cesaro.

Jey loses his shirt but drives Cesaro into the corner for a tag off to his brother. That’s fine with Cesaro who slams Jimmy down for two and slaps on the chinlock. Back up and a dropkick puts Cesaro on the floor, setting up the big dive from Jimmy. Kidd gets in a kick from the apron as Miz gets a call from his agent. Apparently it’s about Naomi so Miz leaves to talk to her. We take a break and come back with Jimmy fighting out of a chinlock, only to get caught in an overhead belly to belly for two.

Kidd comes in for a chinlock of his own but he misses a legdrop on the apron. It’s still not enough for a hot tag though as Cesaro kicks Jey to the floor. There’s the Swing but Kidd dropkicks Jimmy out of the air in a painful looking spot. Cesaro misses a charge into the post though and an enziguri finally allows the tag to Jey. House is cleaned with the Samoan drop and running Umaga attack but everything breaks down. Jey superkicks Cesaro’s head off and the Superfly Splash is enough for the pin at 11:53.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting with Kidd and Cesaro working well enough together. The division is in need of some fresh teams so why not have two guys that are ready to move up to the next level? If nothing else that swing into the dropkick is a great spot and could be a solid finisher.

Miz/Mizdow are in the back with Naomi and suggest that she split time between Hollywood and WWE. Naomi gives a badly scripted response about how she knows what Miz is up to, but Miz says his agent wants to keep this going. He talked the agent off the ledge but the agent doesn’t want to work with someone with such a jealous husband. Naomi needs to sort Jimmy out and soon.

After a break, Naomi runs into the Usos and goes off on Jimmy for not having her back. She leaves and Jey says let her cool off. Jimmy knew this was going to happen and yells about how Miz is messing with them. Jey says Jimmy has two days to get his head right because this is exactly what Miz wants.

Video on Cena vs. Lesnar which transitions into Cena vs. Rollins.

Bray Wyatt says he offered Ambrose a path to salvation but Dean turned him down. This is no longer about what could have been but now it’s about what will be. In two thousand years, people will still be talking about the things Wyatt will do to Dean this Sunday. Run.

Alicia Fox vs. Nikki Bella

Non-title and AJ is on commentary with her Slammy in her arms like a baby. Fox nails a quick dropkick to start and works on an armbar. JBL and Cole debate the differences between the Women’s Title and Divas Title as Fox charges into a knee in the corner. Back in and AJ says Nikki is like the head cheerleader from an 80s movie. A hammerlock slam gets two for Nikki and she cranks on both arms with a knee in the back. Fox fights up again but misses a boot in the corner, earning her a forearm to the jaw. The Rack Attack is good for the pin at 4:16.

Rating: C-. I can’t believe I’m saying this but the current Divas story is growing on me. It’s amazing how much easier these things are to sit through when I don’t have to listen to the Bellas talking about how hard they’ve worked and had to fight to get here. Nikki is actually getting better in the ring and can have a passable match and the idea of AJ fighting the Bellas is a good enough story. Well assuming you ignore Brie just siding with her sister again after all those months of fighting.

Nikki Racks Fox again while talking trash to AJ.

We recap the Slammy winners from Monday.

Big E. vs. Goldust

Goldust takes over to start with a powerslam and DDT for two each. Big E. comes back with a clothesline and belly to belly, only to charge into a spinebuster for another near fall. The Big Ending is escaped and Big E. charges into a knee. Not that it matters as Big E. pops up and hits the Big Ending for the pin at 2:15.

We look at Reigns winning Superstar of the Year.

Jack Swagger vs. Titus O’Neil

Swagger drives him into the corner to start and knocks Titus outside, only to be sent shoulder first into the post for two. Titus hammers away and kicks Jack’s head off before choking on the ropes. A slam doesn’t work though as Jack rolls over into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 2:24.

Rusev and Lana interrupt We The People and pose with the title.

Video on Ambrose vs. Wyatt’s TLC match. I really hope they go insane with it to give this the blowoff it deserves.

Dean is sitting under a ladder in the back. He’s heard Bray Wyatt talk about them like they’re viking warriors but Dean is just a gutter rat or a dog that loves to fight. The two of them weren’t meant to rule together but to beat each other to pieces forever. This Sunday, when Dean has Bray’s whole world in his hands, he’s going to crush it.

Big Show/Kane/Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan/Ryback

All the weapons are set up around the ring of course. Kane and Ziggler get things going with a dropkick and cross body putting the big man down. Off to Rowan for a big slam as we take an early break. Back with Rowan hammering Show down against the ropes and out to the floor. Erick misses a charge into the post though and Show stands on his back. Kane comes in and hammers away again before it’s off to Harper for a chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Kane comes in for a double clothesline to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Ziggler to clean house, including countering Kane’s powerbomb into a faceplant for two. Kane never liked Kidman though so he kicks Dolph’s head off for two as we take another break. Back again with Ziggler fighting back on Harper but getting catapulted into the middle rope for two.

The canned chants want Ryback as Kane charges into a boot in the corner but Big Show breaks up the tag. Ziggler dropkicks the big man’s knee out and counters the chokeslam into a sleeper instead of, you know, tagging. Show easily escapes and hits the chokeslam for two. The KO Punch misses and Ziggler hits a Zig Zag out of nowhere. Dolph finally tags Ryback to clean house as everything breaks down. Show runs over Rowan on the floor and Ryback Meathooks Luke. There’s the Shell Shock for the pin at 17:08.

Rating: C. OF COURSE THEY HAD HARPER TAKE THE PIN! Of course they did. I mean, we can’t have Big Show and Kane, who are almost NINETY YEARS OLD combined job to Ryback so let’s just have the Intercontinental Champion do it instead. I know I harp on this every week but I really want an answer. Why in the world are Big Show and Kane immune from taking a fall?

Harper may be the current Intercontinental Champion and he has a bright future in front of him. On the other hand we have two former World Champions who have been around for about thirty five years combined ans neither of them can job to Ryback? This happens week to week with all the young guys taking falls because we have to protect these two? I really do want an answer to this because it’s one of the most maddening things going on in WWE right now.

Post match the weapons are brought in and Dolph dives off the ladder to knock down all three giants on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Standard issue Smackdown here although with a good exchange from Rollins and Cena. That being said, I have no reason to believe Seth has a chance on Sunday which kind of defeats the purpose. That’s the problem with some of their long term stuff: they’ve locked in Lesnar vs. Cena and nothing that happens between now and then matters.

The rest of the show was your usual stuff, but man alive I’m sick of these same people fighting. We’ve seen it for over a month now and hopefully it ends after Sunday. These writers come up with one idea every few months and then ride it out until there’s nothing left to get out of it. This whole company needs a shakeup and something fresh, which doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon.

Results

Usos b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Superfly Splash to Cesaro

Nikki Bella b. Alicia Fox – Rack Attack

Big E. b. Goldust – Big Ending

Jack Swagger b. Titus O’Neil – Patriot Lock

Ryback/Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan b. Big Show/Kane/Luke Harper – Shell Shock to Harper

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 8, 2014
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! These shows used to be a highlight of the year but now they’re just there as a background for a usually boring show. However, there’s usually a good ending to these shows but with tonight being the go home show for Sunday’s TLC show, it’s hard to say how big of a surprise we’re going to get. Let’s get to it.

We start with a Tonight On Raw preview, focusing on Cena vs. Big Show in the main event.

Jerry Lawler brings out Seth Green to host the show. Seth says this is our awards show and you can vote for the winners of the awards on the WWE App. Miz and Mizdow cut him off though (minus the belts). The amusing thing here is that Green is 5’4 so they TOWER over him. Miz gives a pitch about being the A-lister Seth needs, but Green says Mizdow is the real A-lister. Mizdow smiles but Miz cuts him off, only to have Damien do a “call me” sign behind Miz’s back. Anyway they’re here for the THIS IS AWESOME Award. The nominees:

Occupy Raw

Stephanie McMahon getting arrested for slapping Brie

The Authority being eliminated/Sting debuting

Steve Austin, The Rock and Hulk Hogan opening Wrestlemania

We’ll get the winner after the first match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Ziggler backdrops him to the floor and we take a break thirty seconds in. Back with Rollins in control and driving a knee into Dolph’s ribs. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Dolph sends him face first into the buckle to get a breather. The Stinger Splash and elbow drop get two but Seth blocks the running DDT. Ziggler counters the buckle bomb into a sunset flip and now the running DDT is good for two. Back up and they head to the corner with Ziggler shrugging Dolph down, only to have the Stooges shove him off, setting up the Curb Stomp for the pin at 7:20.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do anything but at least Ziggler didn’t lose clean. I can live with a heel cheating to win and beating a hot star, evne though he’s going into an Intercontinental Title shot this coming Sunday. Why would we need to keep Ziggler strong for something like that?

Sting debuting wins the THIS IS AWESOME Award. Of course Sting isn’t here so Seth is going to accept on his behalf, but Seth comes up and takes the trophy because Sting is responsible for the Authority being gone and Seth deserves it.

Here are some Slammys awarded on the pre-show:

Insult of the Year – Rock insulting Lana and Rusev

Tag Team of the Year – Usos

Breakout Star of the Year – Dean Ambrose

Hashtag of the Year – RKOOUTTANOWHERE

Fan Participation – YOU SOLD OUT to Seth Rollins

Kofi Kingston vs. Stardust

Stardust takes Kofi down to start and steps on his chest before the referee breaks it up in the ropes. A chinlock goes as far as you would expect it to and Kofi fights up with a hurricanrana. Some dropkicks put Starudust down and the NEW DAY Drop (no more Boom) sets up a running knee in the corner. A high cross body is enough to pin Stardust at 2:58.

Johnny Ace is presenting Surprise Return of the Year. After suggesting the People Power replace the Authority, here are the nominees:

Hulk Hogan

Batista

The Rock

Ultimate Warrior

Winner announced after How To Download The App and a break. After we’re back, Ultimate Warrior wins.

Rollins is in the back with the Stooges when the run into Paul Heyman. Seth sends the Stooges away so he can talk to Heyman about the tables match. He thinks he might be next in line to face the Beast after he beats Cena, but promises that his cash-in will come when Lesnar and Heyman least expect it. Heyman is fine with that, but his client might as well be champion for life. However, that doesn’t stop Rollins from being the future. John Cena is standing in his way, so if Rollins wants to be the future, he needs to make sure that Cena is stuck in the past. Rollins seems to like the idea.

Video on NXT Women’s Champion Charlotte.

Charlotte vs. Natalya

Non-title of course. We get a WOO to start and Charlotte drives knees into the ribs to start. She stomps Natalya down against the ropes but gets caught in a quick choke to slow her down. That’s fine with Charlotte who just pounds away at her face. A slap makes Charlotte even madder but Natalya takes out the legs as they hit the mat. Charlotte drops her again with a wicked chop and drops a hard knee for two. Natalya tries the Sharpshooter but gets countered into the Figure Four, which is countered into a small package to give Natalya the pin at 2:30.

Tyson Kidd takes the spotlight like he did at Survivor Series.

Santino presents the OMG Shocking Moment of the Year. He says he was shocked just now by seeing Luke Harper take a shower. Usually he’s watching the Divas take showers….but he’s not a creep. The nominees are:

Seth Sells Out

Nikki Turns On Brie

Bray Wyatt’s Children’s Choir

The Streak Is Conquered

The winner is of course the Streak being conquered. Lesnar’s music plays but we get Heyman instead for a very brief acceptance speech without saying anything of note.

Here’s Bray Wyatt to talk about seeing her for the first time in that rocking chair beneath the Cypress tree. We see Dean destroying the chair last week and Bray says Dean destroyed something that can’t be replaced. That leads us to Dean having his throat crushed on Smackdown in retaliation. Bray asks if that shocks or frightens us. No one here knows what they’re dealing with and he despises all of us.

If you get too close to him, you will get burned by his fire as he stands on top of that ladder. Bray won’t allow us to cry for him though as Dean deserves what’s coming. He repeats Tables Ladders and Chairs over and over again until an ambulance drives into the arena. Dean pops out in a neck brace and pulls a table out of the ambulance. He throws it on the ramp before pulling out a ladder and chair to go with it.

There goes the neck brace and Dean drags the ladder and chair to the ring. He throws the chair in and nails Bray in the ribs with the ladder. Dean throws in a chair and hits Bray square in the head with it. A table comes in as well but Wyatt rolls to the floor. Dean lays on the table with the chair over him. Bray comes back down and gets another chair thrown at him. This Sunday, Dean is going to become the monster and eat Bray alive.

Seth Green brings out Jerry Lawler to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:

Brie Bella

Nikki Bella

AJ Lee

Paige

The girls are shown in the back when Titus O’Neil shows up in a tuxedo for some reason. AJ wins and nothing seems to come of the cameo. She says that she promised to redefine the term Diva three years ago. Next year she hopes that next year, it’s Bayley, Sasha Banks, Charlotte, Emma or Paige is up here on the throne. She’s not done being queen though and will get her title back this week.

Cena talks about Vince telling Austin that the locker room needs to step up. That might fire up Seth Rollins, so maybe Rollins wants Big Show to wear him out tonight. This Sunday, Rollins has to put him through a table, which is good for Seth because he can’t pin Cena or make him tap out. If Cena can’t win this Sunday, maybe it’s time for him to step down so Seth can step up. Tonight he’s going to slam a giant and shake South Carolina because his time isn’t up yet. This Sunday, Rollins goes through a table.

Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper

Non-title and Harper brings a ladder with him. It’s a slugout to start with Rowan getting the better of it and nailing a running splash in the corner. That’s fine with Harper who nails a dropkick for one before kicking Erick in the head. The Gator Roll doesn’t get Luke anywhere as Rowan pops back up and nails some clotheslines. A full nelson slam gets two on Harper and they head outside with Luke hitting Rowan with the ladder for the DQ at 2:05.

Post match Rowan fights back and starts throwing the stairs into the ring. Harper takes a big shot to the head and bails.

The Usos come up to Naomi to celebrate their Slammys. Jimmy says it’s the second best thing to happen to him all year after marrying her. Naomi has been talking to Miz’s agent and apparently it went well. Uso isn’t sure but Naomi has a screen test later this week. That’s fine with Jimmy but he’s going to Hollywood with her because Miz is involved in this somehow. Naomi interprets this as Jimmy not trusting her.

Adam Rose comes out to present LOL Moment of the Year. The Bunny won Animal of the Year earlier. Rose thinks he should be hosting and says the fans know nothing when they disagree. The nominees are:

Mr. T.’s Mother’s Day message at the Hall of Fame ceremony

WeeLC

Mizdow the Stunt Double

Vickie Guerrero knocking Stephanie into pudding

The Bunny tries to open the envelope but Rose gives us Mizdow for the win. Here he is along with Miz (and the belts this time), who actually lets Mizdow have some spotlight for a bit. It’s only for a bit though as Miz takes the trophy and says he can make us go through all these emotions because he’s an actor. Miz: “I hear you. You want MIZ NOW and you’re getting MIZ NOW!” Miz thanks the only one that has been there for him since day one: the moneymaker. Mizdow doesn’t seem that offended.

Here are some other winners.

Faction of the Year – Shield

Rivalry of the Year – Bryan vs. Authority

Raw Guest Star of the Year – Jackman

Twitter Handle of the Year – @HeelZiggler

Couple of the Year – Bryan/Brie Bella

Here are Lana and Rusev for a chat. Lana runs down the American economy and President Obama before moving on to the Real Americans. Lana: “That is an LOL moment!” Cue Swagger, who will be challenging Rusev for the title on Sunday, to say that Rusev broke Colter’s leg, so he’s going to snap Rusev’s ankle. Jack charges and ducks the running superkick before dropping the ankle on the barricade. There’s the Patriot Lock on the floor and Rusev kind of taps until referees make the save.

New Day vs. Goldust/Stardust on Sunday’s pre-show.

Usos/Ryback vs. Kane/Miz/Damien Mizdow

Seth Green is on commentary. Kane slams Ryback to start as Seth talks about Battlestar Galactica. The Usos come in to start in on the arm but the announcers are too busy taking pictures. Off to Miz to stomp away on Jey before a headlock takes the actor down. Lawler has to get the announcers back on the match as Cole does his traditional driving off a cliff of a tangent. Jey hammers away on Miz and grabs a suplex, so Mizdow comes in and mimes getting hit in the face before raising his arm like he’s about to be suplexed. He flips over then dives over the top after Miz is sent flying.

Back from a break with Kane holding Jey in a chinlock before it’s off to Miz for a Reality Check. Jey finally breaks free and tags in Ryback to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Usos escape a double chokeslam and nail Kane with a double superkick. Jey dives onto Kane but Jimmy gets low bridged to the floor when charging at Miz. The Meathook and Shell Shock end Miz at 9:52.

Rating: C. This was a quick match that combined the two feuds into one and there’s nothing wrong with that. Jimmy vs. Miz is at least a fresh story and something that fits the characters instead of being shoehorned in. Ryback continues to get a push, even though he’s lost some momentum after that performance at Survivor Series.

Green celebrates with the winners.

We look back at the first Slammys in 1986.

Here’s Ricky Steamboat to present Match of the Year. He gives a very nice speech about what it means to have a classic match to introduce the nominees.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Batista – Wrestlemania XXX

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt – Payback

Shield vs. Evolution – Extreme Rules

Team Cena vs. Team Authority – Survivor Series

Team Cena vs. Team Authority wins with Ziggler coming out to accept. Ziggler sounds very touched by this and says they’re going to build off of it because this belongs to all of the fans.

AJ Lee vs. Summer Rae

Summer mocks AJ for winning the award earlier and AJ goes right at her, only to eat a wheelbarrow slam for two. A spinwheel kick that misses by six inches gets two on AJ before we hit a quickly broken chinlock. AJ pops up and Black Widows Summer for the submission at 2:18.

Rob Van Dam is here to present the Extreme Moment of the Year. The nominees are:

Brock Lesnar’s 16 suplexes to John Cena

Kane tombstoning Bryan on the steps and the announcers’ table

Chris Jericho diving off the cage and onto Bray Wyatt

Seth Rollins Curb Stomps Dean Ambrose onto cinder blocks

Jericho wins and Fandango comes out to accept on his behalf. You’ll never forget his name you see.

Saint Mick does his merchandise shilling.

Big Show says no one is going to forgive him for what he does so he’s going to destroy Cena tonight.

Booker T. is presenting Superstar of the Year.

Dean Ambrose

Bray Wyatt

Roman Reigns

Brock Lesnar

Bray Wyatt

John Cena

Seth Rollins

After a break, the winner is Roman Reigns. He’s actually in the building tonight to accept the award and says this may not be the brass ring but it’s a step in the right direction. It doesn’t matter if you’re at the top of the stairs, he’s stepping up and you can believe that.

Chris Jericho is Guest GM next week.

John Cena vs. Big Show

Big Show’s music comes on at 11:00pm EST so this is going to be quick. Cena charges right at him and gets headbutted down. A shoulder bounces off Show and he chokes Cena on the ropes. Cena avoids a charge in the corner and grabs a DDT, only to walk into a side slam to put him right back down. Off to a bearhug for a bit before Cena jumps onto the giant’s back for a sleeper. Show flips him forward but misses the KO Punch, allowing Cena to hit a belly to back. The Shuffle is countered by a chokeslam but Cena slips out and AA’s Show for two as Rollins and the Stooges come in for the DQ at 5:43.

Rating: D. This was every Cena vs. Big Show match you’ve ever seen and with the ending that everyone and their mother (even Mr. T.’s) knew was coming. It’s not the worst match in the world, but what could they possibly do in less than six minutes with a completely telegraphed ending?

Rollins loads up a ladder for a super Curb Stomp but Ziggler makes the save. Cena and Ziggler beat up the Stooges but Big Show knocks them both out. Cue Rowan but Harper jumps him from behind. Show chokeslams him onto the steps so here’s Ryback for the late save. He posts Show and Meathooks Harper before setting up a table. The Shell Shock is broken up by Kane with a chair but Ziggler takes out Kane. Some superkicks drop Big Show, only to have Harper put Dolph through a table. Cena AA’s Harper, only to eat a Curb Stomp. Rollins loads up the announcers’ table and TripleBombs Cena through to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well that happened. This was one of those shows where there just wasn’t anything to talk about. The Ambrose vs. Wyatt segment was good but it’s not enough to carry a three hour show. This was much more a go home show with a few other things going on in the background. Sunday should be fun but we really need to get to Wrestlemania season to breathe some life into this company again. The show wasn’t even horrible but there’s just nothing here worth seeing.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Curb Stomp

Kofi Kingston b. Stardust – High cross body

Natalya b. Charlotte – Small package

Erick Rowan b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper hit Rowan with a ladder

Usos/Ryback b. Miz/Damien Mizdow/Kane – Shell Shock to Miz

AJ Lee b. Summer Rae – Black Widow

John Cena b. Big Show via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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