At this point it’s pretty clear that Lesnar isn’t going to be defending the title at Hell in a Cell and at the end of the day, that’s probably the best thing they could do right now. Lesnar vs. Cena is a good feud but they need to give it a chance to breathe instead of just doing it over and over again to diminishing results. Instead we have Cena and Ambrose vs. the Authority which is a very nice option and far better than what we were sitting through at this point last year. Let’s get to it.

We opened with the Authority in the ring and Stephanie actually acknowledging the CM Punk chants in Chicago. They had to do something like that as the fans just want attention more than anything else. Heyman can out and had a chat with Rollins but not a lot was said. This felt like a way to distract the fans, because Heaven forbid we have a hot match to catch their attention because we need to have the twenty minute talking segment to open things up.

After all that was over, Rollins said he wanted the briefcase back because it has some personal items inside. Remember that as it’s going to be brought up later. Ambrose popped up on screen and said if Rollins wanted the briefcase, all he had to do was come and get it. This wasn’t the best opening segment in the world and it had the same problem most of them have: they spent twenty minutes to accomplish what could have been done in ten.

WWE doesn’t like breast cancer. This is the first of at least three times they would explain this.

HHH sent agents Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble to get the briefcase back. Those two as the new Patterson and Brisco is a fine idea. They wouldn’t find Ambrose until he came to the ring but apparently Jamie ate a hotdog at the concession stand. I can go with this going forward.

Ziggler retained the Intercontinental Title in a fast paced triple threat along with Cesaro and Miz. This was a good match with everyone moving around and Ziggler superkicking Cesaro to steal a pin on Miz. They can keep up the idea that Cesaro hasn’t gotten pinned clean yet and has a rematch coming to him. It’s like they’re building an actual division with progressing stories. That’s a VERY welcome change and something that could help the product quite a bit.

We get a Wyatt Family video which said Harper was free. This sounds like a way to split up the team and I’d prefer it over a fight. Bray could use some freshening up anyway.

Layla beat Rosa Mendes while Tyson Kidd messed with his phone. This is your Total Divas match and the first of three Divas matches tonight.

The big segment of the show was Ambrose coming to the ring with a bag and the briefcase. He offered to give away all the shirts because he didn’t like the prices on them. After throwing them into the crowd, the agents came in and tried to get the case back. This gave Ambrose the great line of “they’re sending the cruiserweight division after me?” Security came out (“weren’t you Rosebuds last week?”) and Ambrose left the case. Rollins opened it up and got covered with green slime. The look on Dean’s face was outstanding and sold the whole thing.

I’ve heard people calling this the segment that made Ambrose a star but that’s going a bit too far. This was very entertaining for one reason above all others: it was different. Those fourth wall jokes were funny and it made Ambrose feel like an outsider instead of the same old comedy guys. I remember JR talking about how bad comedy in wrestling can be if it’s not natural. With Dean, it felt natural and not like the script said “comedy segment here”. It’s definitely good though and the showdown in the Cell is going to be great.

Bo Dallas interrupted Mark Henry’s latest apology and beat him in about a minute. Henry destroyed Dallas in the back after a break.

Goldust and Stardust confirmed the Tag Team Titles were the Cosmic Key. Nothing else to see here.

Nikki and Brie did their usual argument and Brie had to face Cameron and Eva Marie in a handicap match. Amazingly enough, a former Divas Champion was able to beat a girl with maybe an hour combined ring time and a girl who doesn’t know how to make a proper cover. Nikki whining about having to be in a handful of handicap matches is really wearing thin and isn’t going to sell a big match between the Bellas.

Time for COMEDY with Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil beating Los Matadores. There was a bull, a gator and a Bunny involved. I can live with the Bunny because it’s showing off but the rest of the stuff was stupid. Again though, to people calling this the worst segment ever, I’d point out that the match wasn’t even three minutes long.

Rusev and Lana came out to yell at Big Show. The giant came out and ripped down the Russian flag. Naturally WWE issued an official apology about this because HEAVEN FORBID anyone get offended over something that is going to be forgotten after about thirty seconds. I’m complaining about this apology offending me. Where’s my official apology from WWE? I’m offended by how pathetic it is that people get offended by everything anymore. I WANT AN APOLOGY AND OFFICIAL STATEMENT! I MIGHT TELL PEOPLE TO PROTEST THE SHOW AND THAT MEANS THE STOCKHOLDERS MIGHT GET TICKED OFF!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!

Yeah I think some political correctness is stupid. Why do you ask?

Cena and Ambrose had a brief staredown in the back and tension was teased. They both want to beat up Rollins though.

Alicia Fox is Paige’s new best friend and beat AJ Lee in a nothing match. It’s better than repeating the same matches over and over again.

Sheamus beat Damien Sandow in another nothing match that doesn’t seem to set up anything.

Hulk Hogan doesn’t like cancer.

Stephanie told Kane and Orton that she doesn’t care about their complaints. Tension is being teased here.

Cena and Ambrose beat Orton and Kane when Rollins interfered. There was nothing to the match and it was your standard main event tag. Rollins gave both heroes curb stomps onto the briefcase to end the show.

This show was the standard Raw Special: it would have been great if it only lasted two hours, but the extra hour drags it down. The cancer stuff is going to get old in a hurry and comes off like more of a publicity stunt than anything else. Thank goodness we have another month of WWE saying CANCER SUCKS because they might come off as pro-cancer otherwise.

The wrestling wasn’t anything special but as usual they have a lot of good stuff coming up in the future. The problem though is them screwing up all of the upcoming stuff instead of it actually paying off. Or if nothing else they might have to worry about offending someone and apologizing for logical storylines. Again, either step on some toes or be perfect schoolchildren that don’t offend anyone and listen to the complaints that come with it. Pick something and stick with it though. Not a great show this week but it had its moments.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 29, 2014
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM….sorry just getting ready for the crowd later in the show. The main story at the moment seems to be the new Super Best Friends of John Cena and Dean Ambrose facing off with the Authority as Roman Reigns is out injured. There’s no sign of Brock Lesnar and it doesn’t look like he’s going to be at Hell in a Cell. That opens up some doors for interesting pay per view matches. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Authority vs. Cena and Ambrose last week.

Here are Stephanie and HHH as the announcers hype up the annual pink theme for breast cancer. The fans chant for CM Punk and Stephanie asks why the fans chant for quitters. It’s because they’re quitters themselves and would love to just quit their jobs when things get serious. Stephanie quickly switches over to Ambrose stealing the briefcase on Friday, which means nothing because the contract inside belongs to Rollins. This defiance of the Authority will not be tolerated.

This brings out Paul Heyman for his usual catchphrases and to talk about how close Cena got to becoming champion. Rollins got close as well, but how dare he try to cash in on Brock Lesnar with a curb stomp. Stephanie gets in his face but here’s Seth Rollins to interrupt. He doesn’t really apologize for what he did, but says everyone in the ring is glad Cena isn’t champion again.

Rollins wants to become champion by beating the best, which is clearly Brock Lesnar. Heyman isn’t cool with this so Rollins says Brock should see it as a compliment because it shows Brock is the best. Paul goes to leave but HHH stops him. They stare each other down but HHH just shakes his hand and says thanks for the talk.

This brings Rollins to Ambrose, who better return the briefcase and the personal property inside. If he doesn’t return it, the cinder blocks will look like nothing. Dean pops up on screen and holds up the case in the back, saying if Rollins wants it back he should just come and get it. The three head up the ramp but Cena runs out and jumps Rollins. Seth bails into the crowd, leaving Cena in the ring.

WWE doesn’t like breast cancer.

After a break, the Authority is in the back with some agents. HHH sends Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury to get the briefcase.

Intercontinental Title: Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz

Ziggler is defending after beating Miz for the title last week. Cesaro had a title shot on Smackdown and got pinned with his hands in the ropes. The challengers go after Dolph in the corner to start but get in a quick argument over who gets to try for the pin. Cesaro suplexes Miz down for two but Miz clotheslines the power guy down, sending Dolph into the corner. Miz gets gorilla pressed but Ziggler dropkicks Cesaro down, leaving Miz to crash onto the mat as we take a break.

Back with Miz sliding through Cesaro’s legs but Ziggler grabs a rollup instead. Everyone rolls up everyone for two until Ziggler DDTs both guys down at the same time. Another DDT to Miz and a neckbreaker to Cesaro get two on the Hollywood guy and send Cesaro out to the floor. Mizdow trips the champion and earns a baseball slide for his efforts. A sunset flip gets two on Miz but he comes back with a Figure Four attempt.

Cesaro nails Miz with an uppercut and tries a sunset flip of his own but Ziggler pulls on Cesaro’s legs, sending him head first into Miz’s crotch. Dolph throws Miz in the Figure Four but Cesaro makes the save with a double stomp. Miz goes up top but dives into the uppercut, only to have Ziggler superkick Cesaro and pin Miz to retain at 11:48.

Rating: C+. They did some different stuff in there and the match worked better than I was expecting it to. I’m digging this whole “having a division” thing as there are a lot of people who can feud over the title and have good matches like this instead of just doing aimless stuff. As usual I don’t expect it to last but it’s nice to see.

Mizdow is holding his knee just like Miz in a nice touch.

Mercury and Noble go Ambrose hunting but find the Rosebuds, Big E. and Great Khali instead.

WWE still hates breast cancer.

We get a freaky video from the Wyatts which keeps jumping all over the place and talking about finding someone after everyone was told he was gone. Bray asks what you give someone who has lost everything. He fixed someone and now he’s being sent out on his own. It seems like they’re talking about Harper. Luke says he’s piecing himself back together with pieces of you. Bray says Harper is set free. Harper gets close to the camera and says you’re doomed.

The Authority yells at Mercury and Noble for not being able to find Ambrose and possibly stopping for a hamburger. If they don’t find him, they’re fired. The new Stooges leave and Miz and Mizdow come in instead. Mizdow talks for Miz and complains about the rematch for the Intercontinental Title being a triple threat. HHH cuts them off and gives Mizdow a match with Sheamus and threatens to fire Miz.

Layla vs. Rosa Mendes

Tyson Kidd is at ringside messing with his phone because he and Natalya (also at ringside) are having marital problems. Layla takes Rosa down and grabs a chinlock until Rosa fires back with forearms. Rosa’s hair extensions fall out and Layla knocks her to the floor, triggering a brawl between Summer and Natalya. Kidd has no idea any of this is going on. Back in and the Layout beats Rosa at 2:58.

Natalya takes Tyson’s phone post match.

Ambrose is in the back with the briefcase and a bag.

Here’s Ambrose with the bag and briefcase in the arena. He throws in a table and sets the briefcase on top, saying he’s been at the concession stand. The agents came in but they were busy eating and didn’t see him wave. However, that’s not what he’s talking about here. Dean doesn’t like the way the Authority runs their merchandise stands so tonight we’re having a Dean Ambrose sale, but the briefcase isn’t for sale tonight.

Dean throws a bag of t-shirts on the table and says he’ll sell it for a dollar. First up is a Cena shirt for a dollar and a Sheamus shirt for a quarter. This brings out Mercury and Noble (Dean: “They sent the cruiserweight division after me?”) to ask for the briefcase. Ambrose says that’s fine but they have to come in and get it. The guys back away so Ambrose starts throwing the shirts into the crowd for free.

The agents come back with Rollins and security as Dean runs out of shirts. Dean: “Are you real security? I could have sworn you were Rosebuds last week.” Ambrose backs away into the crowd as Rollins finally gets up on the apron. Rollins opens the briefcase and green slime sprays on him. Dean’s “look what I did!” face is great stuff. He swears he had nothing to do with it and Seth freaks out.

After a break, Seth is complaining to the Authority that he could be blinded. Rollins is sent to the trainer and HHH makes Kane and Orton vs. Ambrose and Cena. Orton doesn’t like having to fight Rollins’ battles again. A phone ring and they’re not sure whose it is. It turns out that it’s in the briefcase and Rollins runs back in to say it’s an electric razor. Was that a vibrator joke?

Here’s Mark Henry with something to say. He starts apologizing to the fans for last week when Bo Dallas interrupts. Bo says Henry should apologize to himself instead of the people. It’s time to close the Hall of Pain and join the Hall of Bolievers. Being a Boliever means never having to say you’re sorry.

Bo Dallas vs. Mark Henry

Henry hammers away to start and pounds Bo into the corner, only to miss the Vader Bomb. A Bodog gives Dallas the pin at 1:45. JBL treats this like a huge upset.

In the back after a break, Bo says he won because he Bolieved. Henry attacks him from behind and crushes him with an anvil case a few times. Dallas is out cold. Henry says that’s what he does. That came off like a heel turn.

Network hype.

The Dusts are in the back looking at a crystal ball with electric lights going through it. Stardust looks at a chalkboard and babbles about various things. Stardust comes in and says the titles are the Cosmic Key and they determine their fates. Everything else is science fiction and Stardust shoves the ball away. The belts are science fact.

Brie Bella is here for a match when Nikki comes in to remind Brie that she quit in this building. Nikki yells at her for quitting for Bryan, starting a quick YES chant. That went so well for Brie because Bryan is still sitting at home. Nikki says Brie did it for the cheers and brings up all the handicap matches she was in for about the 1000^th time. Tonight Brie gets her own handicap match.

Brie Bella vs. Cameron/Eva Marie

Brie takes Eva down with ease because she’s a former Divas Champion and Eva has had about an hour of career ring time. Cameron gets kicked off the apron but Eva gets in a few shots of her own. Off to Cameron for two off a snap suplex and the fans start chanting for JBL. Brie fights out of the corner and now the fans are chanting for Cole. Cameron is sent into Eva and Brie gets a rollup for the pin at 2:57. Thank goodness they got out of there as fast as they did.

WWE still hates breast cancer.

Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil vs. Los Matadores

The Rosebuds are at ringside and Rose is on commentary with the Bunny at his side. Slater and Titus bring out Hornswoggle in an alligator outfit. Reverend Jesse Jackson is n the front row. O’Neil slams Diego down to start as JBL asks if Rose and the bunny listen to hip hop. Slater allows Diego to tag out to Fernando who cleans house until Hornswoggle comes in for a distraction, allowing Slater to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:42.

Torito and Hornswoggle have their showdown but Rose makes a save. Titus is low bridged to the floor and Los Matadores drop Slater, allowing the Bunny to hit a splash.

Here are Rusev and Lana to brag about beating up Big Show on Friday, only to have Big Show attack him with a right hand. This brings out Big Show who says everything said about Putin is a bunch of garbage. He brings up A Few Good Men for some reason by saying Lana can’t handle the truth.

We get the an unedited package on Big Show standing up for Henry and Rusev attacking Show with the Russian flag on Friday. Rusev says he wants to pull out Big Show’s guts and kick him in the groin. He’ll break every bone in Big Show’s body but Big Show says we don’t speak Russian. Big Show hits the ring and the Russians bail. He slowly goes over to the Russian flag and rips it down to a big reaction. Rusev finally gets back in and is thrown right back to the floor.

We recap Ambrose, Rollins and the briefcase from earlier tonight.

Cena says this is his kind of town and is glad he doesn’t have to face Dean Ambrose. They both want Seth Rollins and Dean pops up behind Cena and Renee. Cena asks if Dean would like to add something. Dean: “Not really.” They get in an argument over who gets to beat up Rollins and Dean says not even Cena can take food off his plate.

Alicia Fox vs. AJ Lee

Paige introduces Alicia as her new best friend. In a throwaway line before the match, Cole says the WWE Network will launch in the UK on November 1, not October 1 as they announced for months. AJ sends Fox to the floor to start before hitting a plancha to take both evil girls down. Back in and Paige offers a distraction so Alicia can get in a quick ax kick for the pin at 1:35.

Paige gives AJ the Rampaige post match and Alicia drops soda on her. She doesn’t open the cans or anything but just drops them.

Harper video again.

Sheamus vs. Damien Mizdow

Non-title and Miz is on commentary. Sheamus takes Mizdow down with a headlock to start but the stunt double escapes the ten forearms to the chest. Back in and Sheamus gets annoyed when Mizdow punches him so the beating is on in the corner. Mizdow comes back with Miz’s short DDT and drives some forearms to the pale head. Sheamus shrugs it off and hits the ten forearms before sending Mizdow out to the floor. The champ follows and sends Mizdow into Miz before taking him back inside for the Brogue Kick and the pin at 5:30.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and the step helped a lot actually. Mizdow isn’t going to be anything more than a comedy guy but at least he was able to get in a little offense of his own. They’re getting somewhere with the characters but a third person added to the mix might help.

Here’s a pink Hulk Hogan with something to say. He talks about breast cancer awareness month and says he’s turned in the red and yellow to go pink. There are a bunch of breast cancer survivors here and they’re the real heroes. We can buy gear at WWEshop.com to help fight breast cancer and it’s time for catchphrases.

Kane and Orton complain about having to take care of Rollins’ problems when Stephanie comes in and tells them to get over it. The people have been saying Orton and Kane have gone soft and lost their killer instinct. Kane asks if the people are saying that or if it’s just Stephanie. She wants to know if it really matters and that’s that.

Preview of the new episode of Monday Night War debuting after Raw. We saw this earlier.

Reigns will be here for an interview next week. Big Show vs. Rusev as well.

John Cena/Dean Ambrose vs. Kane/Randy Orton

Cena vs. Orton to start of course and the fans are already dueling. John takes over with a quick bulldog but Kane gets in a shot from the apron to take over as we go to our last break. Back with Orton getting two on Cena off what looked like the powerslam but having the RKO countered. He has to settle for the backbreaker instead but Cena is up at two. Kane comes in for a nerve hold and we actually look at Rollins being slimed twice during the hold.

Back to Orton for a chinlock as the dueling Cena chants begin. A big backdrop puts Orton on the floor and Cena does the big dramatic crawl to Ambrose before diving over for the tag. Ambrose speeds up with a pair of dives to the Authority before throwing Orton back in. Randy kicks him into the Rebound Clothesline and Dirty Deeds gets two on as Rollins runs in for the DQ at 11:47.

Rating: C-. The match was the usual boring stuff and you knew Rollins was going to interfere. I’ll give them this though: they’ve done a good job at putting Ambrose straight into Reigns’ spot and making it work. You can picture Reigns having the same promos and matches as Ambrose (well maybe not the sarcastic stuff) and it still works. Reigns will be fine when he gets back but maybe Ambrose can get a rocket strapped to his back in Reigns’ absence.

Dean fights Rollins off and dives at Kane, only to leave it short. Thankfully he pops back up and helps Cena corner Rollins in the ring. The heroes get in a fight over who gets to beat up Rollins though and Dean sends Cena out to the floor. Orton nails an RKO on Ambrose and Kane adds a chokeslam. Rollins plants Dean with a curb stomp onto the briefcase. Cena comes in for a save but eats an RKO and chokeslam of his own. A curb stomp sends Cena into the briefcase (Fans: “THANK YOU ROLLINS!”) and a bunch of replays end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is what I’ve dubbed the Raw Special: a show that would have been awesome if they cut an hour, but as all the extra stuff thrown in there really drags it down. Between the THREE Divas matches and countless backstage segments with the Authority saying the same thing over and over to WWE REALLY HATES BREAST CANCER AND YOU SHOULD BUY OUR SHIRTS SO WE CAN GIVE THEM LIKE A PENNY EACH, the show felt way longer than it should have.

That being said, there were good things going on here. First of all, most of the bad matches were kept short and there was some good energy to a lot of the stuff. The Ambrose segment was really entertaining and felt like something different, which is what they need more than anything in the main event. We might even be heading towards Cena vs. Ambrose in the Cell, which could lead to Ambrose vs. Rollins. Maybe in the same night inside the Cell with Ambrose getting his big win?

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Miz and Cesaro – Ziggler pinned Miz after an uppercut from Cesaro

Layla b. Rosa Mendes – Layout

Bo Dallas b. Mark Henry – Bodog

Brie Bella b. Cameron/Eva Marie – Rollup to Cameron

Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil b. Los Matadores – Rollup to Fernando

Alicia Fox b. AJ Lee – Ax kick

Sheamus b. Damien Mizdow – Brogue Kick

John Cena/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: September 26, 2014
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Things are in a state of flux right now with Roman Reigns out of the picture for the time being, leaving Dean Ambrose to take his spot. Dean has already been dealing with Cena, which puts him in about as big a spot as you could ask for. Ambrose still needs to rack up some wins though so hopefully that starts tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a recap of the events from Raw with Ambrose, Cena and the Authority.

Dean Ambrose vs. Miz

This is due to Ambrose attacking Miz on MizTV on Main Event. Miz bails to the floor to start before getting caught in a headlock and rollup for two. Ambrose sends him outside again but chases after him this time, eventually taking him down in the ring and hammering away. Miz begs him not in the face so Dean rakes at the Moneymaker. A bad looking Reality Check gets two for Miz and he stomps away as the fans are all behind Dean.

Ambrose comes right back with a dropkick to send Miz to the floor, followed by a big plancha. Mizdow offers a distraction though and Miz takes over as we take a break. Back with Dean blocking the corner clothesline with a forearm to the face. Cole actually gives us an explanation for how Dean got out of the room on Raw: “He went out the back door.”

Dean sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive before a tornado DDT gets two. A missile dropkick is countered into the Figure Four but Dean is right by the ropes. The Rebound Clothesline drops Miz but here are Rollins and Kane for a distraction. Thankfully Dean is too smart for that and hits Dirty Deeds for the pin at 10:13.

Rating: C-. The match was fine and Dean getting a clean pin over a former World Champion is nothing but good for him right now. Miz isn’t exactly John Cena but he’s a guy that Dean should be beating like this. Also how nice is it that a good guy comes off looking smart for a change? Nice enough match.

The Authority comes in for the beatdown but Ambrose fights both of them off and runs off with the briefcase.

Stardust and Goldust are all insane and say the Gemini Usos can’t have the Tag Team Titles. The rematch is tonight.

Battle Royal

Cesaro, Heath Slater, Diego, Titus O’Neil, Fernando, Bo Dallas, Zack Ryder, Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston, Sin Cara, Damien Mizdow, Justin Gabriel, Jack Swagger, Big E.

The winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot later tonight. Fernando is quickly tossed out and Bo dumps Cara. Cesaro tosses Diego but the new Nation can’t eliminate Dallas. Instead Kofi low bridges Gabriel out before Cesaro dumps Woods. Big E. has the power battle with Cesaro and is lifted up in a very impressive gorilla press. Titus breaks it up for no apparent reason so Cesaro lifts him up, only to have Big E. return the save. Cesaro is tired of all this and just muscles Big E. out.

We take a break and come back with no eliminations during the break. Titus and Ryder fight on the ropes and Zack gets tossed. Swagger eliminates Titus a few seconds later, leaving us with Cesaro, Slater, Swagger, Dallas, Mizdow and Kingston. Swagger throws Heath out and everyone surrounds Mizdow. The big beatdown is on and Mizdow is quickly out.

Kofi gets thrown over the top but skins the cat to pull Dallas to the apron with him. A kick to the head is enough to eliminate Bo as Swagger hits the Vader Bomb on Cesaro. Kofi tries to come back in with a hurricanrana but Jack catches him and drops Kofi into the opposite corner. Another Vader Bomb is blocked by Cesaro to send Swagger to the apron. Kofi hits a springboard shot to Jack’s head but has to save himself from Cesaro. Swagger gets back in but Cesaro throws Kofi at Swagger to eliminate both guys for the win at 11:25.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and thankfully they kept things moving with only about eight minutes shown on TV. Cesaro is becoming a beast in these battle royals which could become a thing for him going forward. Also those displays of strength of his are hard to ignore with the gorilla presses and ending sequence being very impressive.

Network talk.

The Usos have everything ready to get their titles back.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust

The Dusts are defending in a rematch from Night of Champions. We get some big match intros and start with Jey and Stardust. A rollup gets a quick two for Jey and he slams Stardust down before sending him outside. Goldust is sent outside as well, setting up the double dive from the Usos as we take a break. Back with what looks like a hot tag to Jey who backdrops Goldust for two. Jey is sent into the buckle and out to the floor so Stardust can get in a few cheap shots of his own. Stardust: “WHERE’S THE KING???” Back in with Goldust dropping an elbow and cranking on the arm.

Jey loses his shirt and gets beaten on even more until he nails a forearm to drop Stardust. Goldust gets backdropped to the floor but he charges back in to a Samoan drop. The hot tag brings in Jimmy to clean house with a t-bone suplex to Stardust. The superkick misses though and Stardust sends him to the floor. Goldust tries a dive but the Usos catch him and toss him into the barricade. Stardust dives backwards onto both of them and all four are down. Back in and the Usos nail a Doomsday Device of all things on Stardust. Jimmy hits the Superfly Splash but Goldust comes in with the title belt for the DQ at 10:13.

Rating: C+. These teams have good chemistry and the match was working here. It sets up a third match, likely at the PPV, which should be just as good as this with extra time. The Usos are getting close to being a great team and having opponents like this and the Wyatts are only going to make them better.

We recap Ambrose stealing the briefcase.

Rollins is ticked off but Kane says the briefcase doesn’t matter because it’s all about the contract. Seth gets that but says if the briefcase isn’t returned, the cinder blocks will look like child’s play.

Layla/Summer Rae vs. Natalya/Rosa Mendes

Summer runs from Natalya to start so it’s quickly off to Layla. They trade rollups and Layla has to kick away from the Sharpshooter. Off to Summer who gets suplexed down and kneed in the corner but Layla makes a blind tag. She nails one kick and immediately tags back out to Summer. The villains ask Natalya if she’s going to cry as Rosa tries to play cheerleader on the apron.

Layla hooks a figure four neck lock and bends back over the ropes before hitting a dropkick to the side of the head. Summer comes back in for a bodyscissors and slams Natalya head first into the mat. Natalya kicks Summer away and makes the tag to Rosa (Cole: “Latina Heat!”) for a bad dropkick on Layla for two. Everything breaks down and Natalya kicks Summer to the floor, allowing Layla to roll Rosa up for the pin at 4:16.

Rating: D. There are a bunch of problems with this whole story. To begin with, why did Natalya wait about three months to go after Summer? Second, it’s really hard to care about these catty fights the girls are having, especially when some of them are capable of having good matches. The words “some of them” is the final key point. Rosa Mendes is about as worthless of a Diva as there has ever been. As far as I know, she has never won a singles match on TV. Why should I think it’s a big deal when she comes back?

We look at Main Event where Mark Henry wasn’t going to apologize to America again because he thinks they don’t appreciate him. Big Show came out and promises to knock Rusev out on Smackdown.

Big Show says he and Henry are brothers from another mother so he’ll knock Rusev out in Henry’s honor tonight.

We get the video on Reigns in the hospital and hear from the doctor on his prognosis.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro

Dolph is defending. Feeling out process to start with Ziggler taking him up against the ropes. Cesaro actually tries a monkey flip but Dolph lands on his feet and hiptosses him down. After a quick trip to the floor, Cesaro cranks on a chinlock and drops the champion with a belly to back suplex.

Ziggler gets caught in an abdominal stretch to stay on his ribs before a middle rope elbow gets two for Cesaro. Off to a modified cobra clutch on Dolph but he jawbreaks his way to freedom. A nice dropkick puts Cesaro down but he counters the Fameasser into a powerbomb, only to have Dolph climb over the shoulder into a rollup for the pin at 6:22. Cesaro clearly had the rope at two so there’s likely going to be a rematch.

Rating: C. Nice power vs. speed match here with Cesaro keeping the champion down and using his power to negate the high flying. The ending is a good way to keep Cesaro’s credibility and set up another match down the line. They could do better with more than six minutes so hopefully they’re given a good deal of time later.

The announcers point out the rope grab and Cesaro yells at the referee.

WWE2K15 stuff.

Lana and Rusev say their usual.

Rusev vs. Big Show

Show goes right at him to start and nails a running clothesline in the corner. There’s a loud chop and another clothesline but Rusev blocks the whisper chop. Big Show comes back with a sunset flip for two and knocks Rusev out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Big Show hitting a few loud chops in the corner but getting his leg taken out.

Rusev goes after the leg with some elbows before cranking on it on the mat. Show fights up with a side slam for two but misses the Knockout Punch. The jumping superkick drops Big Show for two and it’s off to a side choke. Back up and the giant hits some clotheslines followed by the chokeslam but Lana grabs his foot before the Knockout Punch. The distraction lets Rusev hit him with the Russian flag for the DQ at 9:52.

Rating: D. This was ten minutes of “Big Show chops, they do nothing, Big Show chops again, they do nothing, finish.” Rusev beating up Big Show next is another good win for him as he’s getting closer to the top of the card with these wins. He’s still waiting for the big feud but he’s still working well enough. As for Big Show, anything that keeps him away from the main event scene is a good thing.

Big Show knocks him out and Lana is stunned to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Tonight was a different kind of episode as some stuff seemed to matter. We set up a new challenger for Dolph and had Ambrose steal the briefcase which will likely be dealt with on Raw. The wrestling was nothing to see but more than anything else Smackdown needs to have stuff that actually matters. Smackdown needs to be a show that people want to see and two title matches and a battle royal are good ways to get to that point. Granted I have little reason to believe this is going to last as it almost never does but it was an easy show to sit through.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Miz – Dirty Deeds

Cesaro won a battle royal last eliminating Kofi Kingston and Jack Swagger

Usos b. Goldust/Stardust via DQ when Goldust hit Jimmy with a title belt

Layla/Summer Rae b. Rosa Mendes/Natalya – Rollup to Mendes

Dolph Ziggler b. Cesaro – Rollup

Big Show b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev hit him with the Russian flag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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We’re coming off Night of Champions and things have to be shaken a bit due to Roman Reigns’ injury. There’s a big hole at the top of the card at the moment and thankfully Dean Ambrose seems to be there to fill it. The other interesting thing is going to be what happens to the title now as we should be heading towards Cena vs. Lesnar III inside the Cell, but that match is a bit played at this point. It should be interesting to see what happens in the next five weeks. Let’s get to it.

Ambrose came out to open the show and said he wasn’t dead. He promised to stay in the ring all night until he got his hands on Rollins. Instead he got John Cena who teased a brawl because he wanted to beat up Rollins as well. The Authority came out and thankfully Cena and Ambrose just went after them instead of hiding behind the big invisible wall. Rollins got chased to the back and stole a car to avoid a beating from Cena and Ambrose. Dean as the new half of the Super Best Friends could be interesting, though he seems more like a loner than team player. Granted he was part of the best team in years so maybe it does work.

Ziggler got the Intercontinental Title back with the same rollup with a handful of trunks that Miz won it with the night before. I have no idea what the need was to change the title again, but at least it’s being defended. Can we get some new challengers now though?

Video on Reigns being taken out. That could change a lot of things going forward. Someone with a lot of time on their hands should write a column about that.

Jack Swagger beat Bo Dallas again. I’m not sure what the point of having these three trade wins for 8 days is.

Natalya beat Summer Rae in the Total Divas match. Rosa and Layla brawled and still no one cares. Just let them be hot and shake their hips a lot. It’s the only thing people are going to be interested in.

Ambrose beat Kane via DQ when Rollins ran in. Kane wasn’t as useless as he usually was here but it was only a six minute match. Dean fought them off with a chair but was eventually locked in a room by the Authority. Stephanie got in a great line: “Have we ever thrown someone out that didn’t come back?” I love it when they actually pay attention to continuity with little things like that.

Sheamus and the Usos pinned Cesaro and the Dusts in your usual “take two feuds and throw them together” match. This was longer than it needed to be but entertaining enough at the same time. Cesaro and Sheamus hitting each other very hard is all they need to do and it worked here. Usos vs. Dusts is fine, but I’d like to see a few more teams added to the mix. You know, like a division.

Rollins confronted Orton about Randy saying the Authority had to put on Rollins’ fires from earlier in the night. Nothing much came of this but it could be a seed for later.

The Next Generation thing they were hyping was video game stuff. Like it is EVERY FREAKING TIME.

Mark Henry came out to apologize for tapping out last night. The Russians came out to laugh and challenged him to another match. Henry made up for tapping out to the Accolade by only passing out to it this time. To be fair I don’ thtink anyone really believed he was going to knock off Rusev.

Adam Rose and the Bunny beat Slater and O’Neil. I can’t help but like this as it’s so goofy but they’re making it so goofy. All the heat is going to go away when the Bunny is unmasked though.

The Bellas are now arguing over the name Bella. Seriously. This might trump Booker T. and Ahmed Johnson fighting over the letter T. in WCW.

AJ beat Nikki Bella because Nikki is awful in the ring.

Cena beat Orton via DQ when the Authority interfered. There was a box at ringside and, as everyone who has ever watched a wrestling show knew, Ambrose was inside it and helped Cena clean house to end the show.

It’s very obvious that Ambrose is substituting for Reigns but that actually works so much better. Ambrose is the natural rebel whereas Reigns is a wrecking ball and doesn’t really fit in a war against the Authority. In other words, Ambrose is more like Austin while Reigns is more like Batista. That’s a VERY good career to have and Reigns is going to be a big star, but there are a lot more places to go with Ambrose’s character. It might be a better idea to have him as the top guy, assuming the fans buy into them, which they seem to be.

The show was a nice change of pace from the stuff we’ve been having for the last few weeks. Lesnar not being around is good in this case as they need to have some more stuff other than just Lesnar vs. the hero of the month. Cena can get his rematch later but it’s nice to give that feud some time to chill instead of just beating it into the ground. Rebuild Cena and let others fight Lesnar for awhile. Good show this week but it’s more about setting stuff up for later than anything on Monday.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 2014
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re past Night of Champions and heading towards Hell in a Cell in about five weeks. The main story is Seth Rollins breaking up Cena’s very close near fall on Brock Lesnar to end the show. The key is it makes Cena believe he can beat Lesnar, likely setting up another match inside the Cell. If they let them go nuts, that could be a classic. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the main event and Lesnar laying out Cena to end the show.

Here’s the returning Dean Ambrose to start things off. “I’M NOT DEAD!” Dean says he’s had to replay the incident over and over again and he can appreciate being attacked two on one. We look at Kane and Rollins giving him a curb stomp onto some cinder blocks. The Authority going to such lengths to get rid of him makes him feel special. Tonight he’s the authority and he isn’t leaving until he gets his hands on Seth Rollins because he never gets tired of hitting Seth Rollins in the face.

Dean gets a chair and sits in the middle of the ring but here’s Cena to interrupt. Ambrose says he doesn’t like Cena standing in the ring with him right now and Cena doesn’t want Ambrose having a reason to not like him. Cena says he has a reason to be angry because Seth Rollins stopped him from beating Brock Lesnar last night. He wants Rollins tonight and says no one is going to stop him, implying he’ll fight Ambrose to get to Seth. Dean says not to get in his way but Cena gets ready to fight. Ambrose takes his jacket off but here’s the full Authority to interrupt.

HHH says Rollins won’t be fighting tonight but Cena and Ambrose will. Cena and Ambrose aren’t interested in listening and charge at the Authority. Rollins bails with Ambrose and Cena giving chase. We cut to the back with Rollins running away from Ambrose and Cena before stealing a car to escape. Dean and John look at each other but nothing happens.

After a break, the Authority has a meeting and makes Kane vs. Ambrose and Cena vs. Orton. Kane isn’t pleased but agrees to the chance for revenge. Orton doesn’t like having to put out Rollins’ fires. WWE announced Orton vs. Ambrose before the show so I guess they already changed it.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is defending after winning the title last night and Mizdow has a small replica title in a nice touch. No R-Ziggler in Dolph’s corner either. We actually get big match intros. Feeling out process to start with Dolph grabbing a headlock but getting Miz scores with a shoulder. A knee to the ribs puts Ziggler down and we hit the chinlock. The Figure Four is countered, sending Miz shoulder first into the post. Not that it matters much though as Ziggler gets caught with a neckbreaker onto the apron and we take a break.

Back with Miz hitting the corner clothesline but he gets dropkicked out of the air when trying the top rope ax handle. The Fameasser is countered but Dolph hits the running DDT to put both guys down. Back up and Miz blocks the superkick before slapping on the Figure Four. Ziggler eventually gets to the ropes and rolls to the floor where he clotheslines Miz and Mizdow.

Back in and Miz hits a quick Skull Crushing Finale for a very close two. Ziggler gets the same off the Fameasser but Miz blocks the Zig Zag. A superkick knocks Mizdow off the apron but Miz rolls Dolph up and grabs the trunks. Dolph rolls through though and grabs a rollup (and trunks) of his own to get the title back at 12:56.

Rating: C+. The near falls were good here and Ziggler feels like he earned the belt, but what in the world is the point in trading the title back and forth in two days? Both guys get an extra title reign and now we’re right back where we were twenty four hours ago. I like that they’re having some action, but how about letting something last more than a day?

We recap Reigns being taken off the card and Ambrose coming in to fight Rollins.

Jack Swagger vs. Bo Dallas

Swagger takes him into the corner to start but Dallas takes him across the ring for a knee to the ribs. A clothesline drops Jack and some knee drops to the head get two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jack runs him over and hits a Vader Bomb. Dallas goes back to the ribs and gets two off a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as a quick Patriot Lock makes Bo tap at 3:18.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but is there a point to having them alternate wins on three straight shows? That’s the second match in a row where the guys are just trading victories and I’m not sure who is gaining anything out of it. Swagger winning is a good thing at least.

Zeb makes fun of Bo’s catchphrase post match.

We get a quick tribute to Howard Stern Show personality Eric the Actor who died over the weekend.

Summer Rae vs. Natalya

This is your Total Divas match of the week with Summer calling Natalya jealous to start. We get a clip from the three month old issue that started this problem where Natalya pulled Summer out of a car. Rae takes her down for a figure four full nelson followed by a front chancery. Natalya comes back by slamming Summer’s face into the mat and one of the worst looking discus lariats I’ve ever seen. Summer was falling down before any contact and it looked awful. Rosa Mendes and Layla get in a fight on the floor as the Sharpshooter makes Summer tap at 2:20.

Dean Ambrose vs. Kane

Ambrose hammers away in the corner to start and takes Kane down with right hands. A middle rope elbow to the jaw gets one but Dean has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. Dean sends him out to the floor and nails a suicide dive but Kane takes him down with a big boot and sends Ambrose into the steps. Back in and Kane works on an armbar before uppercutting Dean out of the air for two.

It’s back to the armbar which Kane is barely cranking on. They get up with Dean nailing a DDT followed by the Rebound Clothesline. A missile dropkick gets two on Kane but he pops back up and grabs Dean by the throat for the chokeslam. Ambrose quickly counters into Dirty Deeds but Rollins runs out for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. Better match than expected here but it’s still nothing great. I don’t see why you couldn’t have Kane get pinned here but at least Ambrose had him beaten at the end. Dean is on fire after everything that has happened to him and with no Reigns around, there’s a big door open for him if he they use him right.

Dean fights off Rollins but Kane plants him with a chokeslam. Rollins goes back to get some more but Dean has a chair and tells him to come on. Seth backs down of course.

After a break, Ambrose is locked in a room by security and the Authority. Stephanie: “Have we ever thrown someone out that didn’t come back?” I love logical lines like that.

We get the video on Reigns’ surgery and the repeated announcement that he’ll be out for months.

Sheamus/Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust/Cesaro

Jey and Goldust start things off with a quick feeling out before it’s off to Jimmy for a big backdrop. Off to Stardust who sends Jimmy into the corner but has to duck a superkick. The Dusts bail to the floor for a breather and it’s off to Sheamus to hammer on Cesaro. They trade heavy forearms before tagging in Goldust and Jey with the Uso getting two off a splash. Back to Stardust for some forearms to Jey’s back before they trade armbars. Goldust comes back in as Stardust trips him up as we take a break.

Back with Jey fighting out of Stardust’s dragon sleeper before getting up a boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Sheamus to clean house with the rolling fireman’s carry and ten forearms to the chest. Stardust escapes a powerslam but tags in Cesaro who pulls Sheamus out to the floor in a big crash. Back in and a middle rope ax handle gets two on Sheamus and Cesaro puts on something like a reverse Crippler Crossface. Goldust comes in again for a chinlock and knee drop before tagging back to his brother.

Sheamus fights out of a front facelock before blocking a top rope cross body with an ax handle to put both guys down. The double tag brings in Jey and Goldust with the Uso cleaning house. Jimmy makes a quick tag and hits a Whisper in the Wind to both champions. Everything breaks down and the Superfly Splash hits Goldust’s knees. The Final Cut looks to finish Jimmy but Sheamus makes a last second save. Cesaro and Sheamus go outside and Jey hits the Superfly Splash on Goldust for the pin at 15:42.

Rating: C. The match was ok but it felt much more long than good. The Usos should get a rematch after being champions for seven months and this is a decent enough way of setting it up. At least it’s better than just saying “oh they have a rematch clause.” Sheamus vs. Cesaro again would be entertaining but there are other challengers to go after the title.

Rollins comes up to Orton and doesn’t like the putting out fires line from earlier. Seth agrees to be in his corner later tonight.

Here’s the Next Generation thing they’ve been talking about. As is almost always the case, it’s for the new video game. This is set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock of all sings.

Mark Henry comes out to address the fans after his loss to Rusev last night. He says he’s heartbroken and can’t believe he let everyone down. This brings out Rusev and Lana for some Russian gloating. Lana tells everyone to shut up and makes fun of the Memphis crowd. She offers Henry another match with Rusev tonight and Henry says bring it on.

Rusev vs. Mark Henry

This is joined in progress with Rusev hammering away and taking Henry down for a side choke. We look at Henry getting his back injured last night as the hold keeps going. Mark fights up so Rusev dropkicks him down and puts the hold on again. Henry finally stays up and slams Rusev down but hurts his back again. They head outside with Rusev being sent into the steps after trying to drive Henry in again. Back in and Henry tries a very slow Vader Bomb but gets pulled down, sending him ribs first into the mat. The Accolade makes Henry pass out at 7:30.

Rating: D+. This was long and dull but it was a much better ending than last night. Not that it matters after Henry looked like such a loser after last night but at least they’re getting the right idea. I could have done without another rematch this soon though as this is the second from last night and third from the last week.

Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil

It had to happen eventually. Titus runs over Rose to start and hits an over the shoulder backbreaker. Off to Slater for a side kick and a chinlock as the Bunny plays cheerleader on the apron. Rose kicks Slater away but Titus breaks up the hot tag attempt. The Bunny ducks a right hand from O’Neil and Adam finally makes the hot tag. The Bunny comes in with a bunch of kicks and a few tail wags before low bridging Titus to the floor. A big spinning kick to the face drops Slater and a seated senton off the apron takes out Titus. The Party Foul is enough for the pin on Slater at 3:10.

Rating: C+. Yeah I liked it. I don’t think there’s much else to be said here.

Here’s Nikki Bella to address Brie’s interview last night where Brie said she didn’t want Nikki to become Divas Champion. She immediately calls out Brie for a chat and trash is already being talked. Nikki says Brie should be called Nikki’s Trashy Sister and wants to be the only Bella. Brie won’t do it so Nikki brings up the obvious question: why hasn’t Brie taken her husband’s name? Nikki calls Bryan a troll so Brie tries a YES Lock, sending Nikki running to the floor.

AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

Paige is on commentary. AJ cranks on the arm to start before taking the non-champion down with a headscissors. A pair of neckbreakers get two on Nikki and they head out to the floor. Nikki sends AJ into Paige and the Brit is ticked off. Back in and Nikki gets two before putting on a swinging sleeper. There’s a cross armbreaker on AJ but she powers out, only to get caught in an Alabama Slam for two. Back up and Nikki misses a charge into the corner, allowing AJ to put on the Black Widow for the submission at 5:10.

Rating: D+. The longer the Bellas aren’t around a championship the better things are. Nikki wanting to fight over the Bella name is about as stupid of a way as they could go but that’s what this entire feud has been since the beginning. Thankfully AJ has dominated them every time to keep the evil from coming even more to the forefront.

A large black box is brought to ringside.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Randy takes him down with a headlock to starts but Cena quickly shakes him off, only to get pounded down in the corner. Now it’s John firing off right hands, followed by a bulldog for two. We take a break and come back with Cena being sent to the floor and into the announcers’ table. The Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop over the top and Cena has a breather. Back in and they collide but it’s Orton up first and taking Cena into the corner.

Orton puts on a sleeper for a bit until Cena escapes with the ProtoBomb. Randy escapes an STF attempt and takes Cena’s head off with a clothesline. He loads up a superplex but opts for a top rope Elevated DDT for a very close two instead. Cena pops back to his feet and grabs the STF, drawing in Kane and Rollins for the DQ at 15:15.

Rating: C. How in the world was this a fifteen minute match? This really didn’t work too well as it felt like they were just waiting to get to the obvious Ambrose surprise at the end. Rollins has now run in on three matches in two days which is a bit much to put it mildly. The match wasn’t bad but it ran longer than it needed to.

Post match the Authority loads up the Curb Stomp on the blocks under the box, but it’s Ambrose because….well what else was it going to be? Dean destroys everything in sight and Rollins runs off, leaving Ambrose and Cena to clean house to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show wasn’t bad but it was mainly a long recap of last night. I really liked the opening sequence with Ambrose and Cena looking like the new Super Best Friends trying to take down the Authority. The ending helped that story but there wasn’t much between the opening and closing. It was mainly recaps and rematches which weren’t very good in the first place. That being said, it was nice to go completely away from the Lesnar stuff, at least for a week. It’s not the worst show in a long time but it didn’t blow my skirt up.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Miz – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Jack Swagger b. Bo Dallas – Patriot Lock

Natalya b. Summer Rae – Sharpshooter

Dean Ambrose b. Kane via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

Sheamus/Usos b. Cesaro/Goldust/Stardust – Superfly Splash to Goldust

Rusev b. Mark Henry via referee stoppage

AJ Lee b. Nikki Bella – Black Widow

John Cena b. Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins and Kane interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2014
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Night of Champions and the World Champion is in the building. Last week a fired up John Cena called out Lesnar to appear here tonight, threatening Paul Heyman with violence if Brock didn’t show up. It should be interesting to see Cena get his hands on Lesnar to put a seed of doubt in Brock for Sunday. Let’s get to it.

We open with Heyman in the ring for his weekly address. He talks about Cena coming to the ring (complete with singing Cena’s music) and waving to the fans before Brock comes out to kill. Cena cuts Paul off before he can get much further and has the black shorts on so you know he’s serious. John asks where Brock is and Heyman starts panicking. If Brock isn’t here then Heyman is taking Lesnar’s beating.

Heyman gets some cheap pops from the crowd and talks a lot, seemingly stalling for time. He points to the entrance and Cena is ready but Heyman starts laughing. Brock flies on a private plane because he doesn’t like anyone and the plane is delayed. He’ll be here tonight but not until later. Heyman thinks Cena knew Brock was late though because he knows what’s coming when Lesnar arrives.

Paul applauds Cena for being a hero and tries to leave but John grabs him by the neck. Cena doesn’t buy what Heyman said and give Heyman until the show is half done to produce Lesnar. Heyman goes to leave but Cena cuts him off because he doesn’t trust Paul. He’s guaranteed these people a fight and grabs Heyman in a headlock to drag him to the back.

We look back at the Authority beating down Reigns to end last week’s show.

After a break we see Cena taking Heyman into his dressing room and having Great Khali guard the door.

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho quickly low bridges Kane to the floor and nails a big dive. Kane pops up and uppercuts Jericho down before sending him into the steps. Back in and Jericho gets two off an enziguri and slaps on a cravate. That’s fine with Kane who sends him out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Jericho hitting a middle rope missile dropkick but not being able to follow up. Kane knocks him right back down and puts on another chinlock. The sideslam gets two on Jericho but he dropkicks Kane out of midair on the clothesline attempt.

There’s a top rope ax handle to put the big man in trouble. Jericho hammers away in the corner and gets two off a high cross body. A turnbuckle pad was pulled off somewhere in there. The Walls are easily countered but Jericho bulldogs him down. Kane blocks the Lionsault with a chokeslam attempt but Jericho sends him face first into the exposed buckle for the pin at 13:20.

Rating: D+. Kane is just slow at this point and it’s getting to be a major problem. He isn’t terrible yet but that seems to be the way its trending. There’s only so much you can do when age catches up with you and unfortunately Kane’s in ring abilities aren’t going to be enough to make up for the change.

Heyman tries to call Lesnar.

We look back at Rusev attacking Henry on Smackdown. Some Olympians wish Henry luck in rallying America tonight.

Roman Reigns looks at Rollins turning on him a few months back and says this ends tonight.

Jack Swagger vs. Bo Dallas

Jack drives him into the corner to start but Bo fights back with right hands. Dallas takes him down and puts on a chinlock as the fans aren’t sure what they want to chant. Jack fights up and is put right back in the chinlock. Another attempt at a comeback with a belly to back suplex works but Bo gets two more off a neckbreaker. Dallas misses a middle rope knee drop and Jack makes his real comeback with shoulders in the corner. The Vader Bomb doesn’t get to launch as Dallas rolls to the apron and snaps Jack’s neck across the top rope. Jack rolls through a sunset flip and puts on the Patriot Lock for the submission at 6:00.

Rating: C-. This was an interesting match and I’m surprised Swagger won clean. Bo tapping out is a questionable choice but his gimmick should be fine as he just has to ignore what happened and keep coming back with the same stuff over and over again. It looks like his major push is over though.

The announcers hype up the Network’s schedule for the week.

We look back at the Springer segment from last week.

Nikki Bella/Paige vs. Brie Bella/AJ Lee

Brie’s new music starts off with the words Brie Mode. So she’s going to be drunk and dance a lot? Nikki starts with her sister but tags out before there’s any contact like a heel should. Paige drives knees into Brie’s ribs to take over and mocks AJ for not being able to make a tag. Brie gets in a quick rollup for two so Paige headbutts her down. A jawbreaker almost allows the hot tag but Nikki takes AJ down. The Rampaige pins Brie at 2:58.

Post match Nikki lays her sister out while the other girls have a skip off.

We look at Big Show stopping Bray Wyatt from making it to the ring on Smackdown.

Bray talks about David slaying Goliath but the giant still lives today in the form of misery and sorrow. Bray has been left with the burden of having to fix everything. He’ll fix the Big Show. Follow the Buzzards.

Heyman tries to leave because he can’t get cell reception. Khali takes the phone and breaks it before throwing Heyman back inside. He picks up the phone and tries to call someone to no avail. This was a waste of time.

Bray Wyatt vs. Big Show

Wyatt hammers away to start but Show shoves him into the corner. The chop is loaded up but Bray shoves him off, only to make Show chop him even harder. Bray hits some corner splashes and stops himself before charging into Show’s boot. A kind of jawbreaker to the ankle and a clothesline have Big Show in trouble. Bray DDTs him for two and we hit the chinlock to slow things down. Show suplexes him way out and nails some clotheslines but Bray hits his cross body for two. Rowan gets on the apron but Bray is whipped into his minion. Big Show nails the Final Cut on Bray but Harper runs in for the DQ at 4:49.

Rating: D+. That could have been far worse. Bray losing by DQ is far better than him losing via pinfall for the sake of the annual “build up Big Show for a match he has no chance of winning” title shot and there was a legitimate chance he could have kicked out anyway. In theory this could be a match on Sunday as I don’t think either guy has anything to do at the moment.

Show chokeslams Harper and Rowan post match, making Bray laugh.

Cesaro/Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos/Sheamus

That’s quite the odd heel partnership. Sheamus and Goldust get things going with the threat of a Brogue Kick sending Goldust out to the floor. Stardust goes to check on him and meows for…..luck I guess? Back in and Jey comes off the top to go after the arm but Goldust drives him into the corner for a tag to Stardust. Cesaro grabs Jey from the apron for ten forearms to the chest.

Jey shrugs it off and tags in Jimmy to clean house with a Samoan drop to Goldust. Off to Stardust with a shot to the head for two before throwing Jimmy to the floor. Back from a break with Cesaro dancing a jig and getting two off a double stomp to Jimmy. A gutwrench suplex puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Stardust for some shots in the corner. Back to Cesaro who poses a lot and puts on a front facelock.

Jimmy powers out and makes the hot tag to Sheamus who immediately cleans house. Cesaro gets caught in a series of forearms to the chest but Stardust makes the save with a rollup. Sheamus knocks both of them to the floor and hits the battering ram off the top. Back in and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Stardust but walks into the Neutralizer. Jimmy makes a last second save and superkicks Cesaro down, setting up the Superfly Splash from Jey for the pin at 13:10.

Rating: C. Nice six man here and there’s nothing wrong with putting two feuds together into a single match. I’m not wild on Cesaro taking a fall but they back themselves into a corner with the booking here. There wasn’t a good way to end the match with a pin but at least the action before the pin was good.

We look at Ambrose being put out of action last month.

Orton says he had to attack Jericho last week because Jericho said Orton has been handed everything in WWE. This Sunday, Jericho gets the beating of his life.

Cena thanks Khali and drags Heyman to the ring. He says produce the beast or be ready to lose your teeth. Heyman starts talking and says this is the beast that he’s been trying to drag out of Cena but he knows Cena won’t be ready on Sunday. Paul has been trying to get Cena to become the beast that can stop the beast of Brock but Cena just can’t do it because of his inner code. Heyman says Cena can’t be a bully because Cena can’t even punch him in the face when Heyman deserves it. That means Cena will never be champion again because he can’t beat Brock Lesnar.

John takes the mic from him and says if there was a human being that deserves to have his face rearranged, it’s Heyman. Paul says do it and become a Paul Heyman Guy but Cena still won’t do it. Cena is about to leave but Paul plays his ace and says Cena’s mother raised a son with some testicular fortitude. That’s enough for Cena as he shoves Heyman to the floor…..and here’s Brock.

Cena is all fired up and wants a piece but Lesnar calmly walks around the ring. He takes the belt off but just puts it over his shoulder. They start walking off but Brock hands the title to Heyman. Cena says let’s go and Brock walks to the ring and gets on the apron. He actually gets in and the fight is on. Brock puts Cena down with a release German suplex and kicks him to the floor with ease. John gets up and knocks Brock to the floor. Brock is sent into the apron and barricade before they fight on the ground. Lesnar covers up until security drags them apart. The champion leaves and might have a busted up nose.

Cameron vs. Naomi

This is based on something that happened on Total Divas last night, which still happened at least two months ago as Daniel Bryan’s neck surgery was announced on the same episode. Naomi gets tired of waiting on Cameron to look in her mirror and goes after her, only to be sent to the floor when trying her stupid hip shake headscissors. Cameron gets two (after trying to cover Naomi with her face down) off a snap suplex before cranking on Naomi’s arms. Back up and Naomi grabs a sunset flip before putting on a freaky looking leg choke for the submission at 4:32.

Rating: D. The bad is almost all on Naomi here as she can’t eve cover someone right. Do you have any idea how hard it is to not be able to cover someone the right way? Kamala used to do that with the gimmick of being a savage that didn’t know what he was doing. The problem is Cameron is supposed to be a competent wrestler and looks that dumb in the process.

Yeah it might be character, but when her development is on Total Divas and consists of dancing, looking at a camera and talking about “chingle chingle” (the scene where Bryan tries to have a conversation with her is hysterical), it’s hard to buy it as being put on. Naomi was trying here and has something with that choke though.

Dolph Ziggler/R-Ziggler vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

They did this on Smackdown already as R-Truth is playing Dolph’s stunt double, down to the same gear and moveset. The joke though is no one can tell them apart (JBL: “Like the Beverly Brothers!” Old school fans will get why that’s funny) and the announcers play it seriously. Ziggler works on Sandow to start before it’s off to Truth for stereo elbows.

Truth gets taken down by Miz and it’s off to Mizdow as the announcers can’t tell them apart either. Truth finally escapes Miz and makes the diving tag to Ziggler. Miz gets two off a quick rollup but gets caught in the Fameasser for two. Everything breaks down and Miz hits his partner, allowing Dolph to hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 5:08. Oddly enough Lawler was cheering for Miz and Mizdow.

Rating: D. This is another reason why I regret watching Smackdown. Not only did they do this EXACT SAME JOKE over there, but the idea was fresher and better because it was the first time. It also helped that Sandow took the pin instead of Miz, meaning it didn’t affect the title match on Sunday. I’m hoping Miz wins the title as I’m liking this Hollywood star character.

Rollins won’t take anything away from Reigns but Roman is nothing without him. He calls Reigns a neanderthal and imitates Roman walking on his knuckles like a gorilla. Reigns is part gorilla, part Samoan and part rhinoceros. A rhinoceros is one of the most powerful animals in the world but they’re not that smart. Tonight Rollins is going to show Reigns why he led the Shield.

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Don’t these two already have a match at Night of Champions? Seth speeds things up to start and snaps Roman’s throat across the top rope. A hard clothesline sends Rollins running to the floor but Roman catches him trying to come back in and sends him face first onto the concrete. Back in and another shot puts Rollins on the floor as Reigns is dominating. Rollins is thrown over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Reigns missing the Apron Kick and getting caught by a suicide dive into the barricade.

Reigns quickly fights back and nails him in the face before hitting the Apron Kick. The Superman Punch looks to set up the spear but Seth leapfrogs him and nails a low superkick for two. Back up and Seth tries what looks like a Pedigree off the top but gets countered into a slow motion backdrop, only to have Rollins catch him in an impressive running buckle bomb across the ring for two more. Reigns gets back up, ducks a charge and hits the spear for the pin at 11:23.

Rating: B-. The match was good but why in the world do you have this match in full with a clean ending before they have the same match six days later? That’s some very odd booking and a sign that they don’t have enough people to fill in a three hour show every week. This is even worse when you consider how many people they have on the roster but how few they put any effort into.

We recap Cena vs. Lesnar as 11pm passes.

It’s time for Henry to rally America before his match on Sunday. He talks about having a second chance to represent the United States after he was injured at the Olympics. For all the fans waving the American flag, he can’t let you down. Henry says Lana couldn’t make all her statements without living in America, so here are Lana and Rusev to cut him off. Lana says American intelligence is dropping faster than President Obama’s approval ratings.

She brings up Henry competing in the 1992 Olympic Games but Russia actually won that year. We get a picture of that year’s winner and Lana goes on about how Henry fakes his injury in 1996 to avoid being defeated again. Henry tries the Pledge of Allegiance but Rusev comes in for the brawl. Rusev kicks him down but Henry powers out of the Accolade and chokebombs the Russian. Old Glory is waved to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Very strange choices in the last twenty minutes aside, this was an interesting episode. It seemed like they were trying to book around Monday Night Football as Cena kept using the word halftime when talking about Heyman. I wasn’t looking at the clock, but I would bet that the segment took place during halftime of the football game. If that’s true, it’s one of the smartest things WWE has done in a long time.

WWE cannot contend with the NFL, so don’t try to. Don’t put some big moment at the beginning of the show, because fans are going to pick the football every time due to lesser interest, the ton of recaps and the bunch of other shows you can see the segment on again during the week. By putting it on when there’s no choice to be made, you ensure the far bigger audience is available. That’s actually thinking for a change instead of just ramming your head into a wall and being surprised when the wall doesn’t move.

The ending segment was a very odd choice, but I’d assume it’s the same mentality: why try to fight the NFL with a big segment when it’s going to be wasted? As I’m writing this, the game is a tie in the fourth quarter so it looks like WWE is playing it smart. The show was good overall and I’m liking some of the stuff I’m seeing anymore. I’m still leaning towards Lesnar on Sunday, but there’s actual doubt there now and that was the goal of this show. Good stuff tonight with a lot of the dumb being cut out and replaced with entertainment.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Kane – Rollup

Jack Swagger b. Bo Dallas – Patriot Lock

Nikki Bella/Paige b. Brie Bella/AJ Lee – Rampaige to Brie

Big Show b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when Luke Harper interfered

Sheamus/Usos b. Stardust/Goldust/Cesaro – Superfly Splash to Cesaro

Naomi b. Cameron – Leg choke

Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: September 5, 2014
Location: Pinnacle Bank Arena, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

I really hope this show is better than Raw as I can’t imagine things getting much worse. This week’s episode of Raw was one of the least interesting and flat out horrible shows that I can remember in a very long time. To make things even worse, tonight we have Paige vs. Brie Bella as the story that swallowed the WWE is moving to Fridays. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to get things going. He immediately gets a cheap pop by talking about wearing red at the University of Nebraska. In less than three weeks, we’re done with lawsuits and what’s best for business because he’s going to fight Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. He isn’t going to come out here and just do the Queen’s wave because it’s what the company thinks he should do.

At Night of Champions, he’s going to fight because that’s what he does. The day he comes down here not wanting to be champion again is the day he walks out the door. The fans actually start a loud CENA chant (complete with shots of the crowd to show it’s legitimate) for the first time in longer than I can remember. He knows this is going to be a fight but he’s going to take Lesnar on and fight. Then he’ll tell the Authority to line them up so he can knock them down and you can still get the WWE Network for $9.99.

Cena is on a roll here but Kane and Rollins come down to interrupt. They accuse Cena of having a mid career crisis but John isn’t going to take advise from a demon brother of a dead guy who is now the spokesman for Men’s Warehouse. Kane threatens to put Cena in a match but this brings out Roman Reigns. Roman says he’s going to finish his business with Randy Orton on Monday and would love to start tonight, but Orton isn’t here. Therefore he can focus on Kane and Rollins, so let’s get started right now.

Cena is ready to go but Kane and Rollins say not so fast. Rollins says the Authority is one step ahead of them and we’ve got Wyatts. This brings out Jericho, Big Show and Mark Henry. We’re still not done yet though as HHH comes out, says “let me tell you something playa” (seriously) and makes a ten man tag. “Now how about that playa?” And, complete with a leg in the air and a one armed raising the roof, “HOLLA!” AND TEDDY LONG’S MUSIC PLAYS!!! This was a very solid opening segment with Cena nailing the promo and HHH cracking me up.

Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title and Sheamus is on commentary. Cesaro takes him down and grabs a quick chinlock, only to get caught by a neckbeaker. Ziggler’s jumping elbow gets two but he walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put Dolph down. A European uppercut drops Ziggler again but Cesaro goes outside to jaw with Sheamus before covering. He cranks on a cravate for a bit before a gorilla press gutbuster gets two more.

We take a break and come back with Ziggler nailing a jawbreaker to escape another cravate. Ziggler loads up the splash in the corner but dives into another uppercut for another two. Dolph spins around Cesaro’s shoulders and grabs a sleeper. That goes nowhere so Ziggler counters Swiss Death with the jumping DDT for a near fall of his own. Cesaro gets back up and tries the Neutralizer but gets rolled up for the pin at 6:51 shown of 10:21.

Rating: C-. The match was the decent action you would expect from these two, but the booking continues to make my head hurt. You either job a champion or you job a guy that is getting a title shot in a few weeks. Why WWE felt the need to book this is beyond me, but the fact that they see nothing wrong with pushing the Bellas this much and jobbing Cesaro clean before he gets a title shot should tell you everything you need to know.

Cesaro pounds on Ziggler post match but Sheamus makes the save. They yell at each other until Sheamus throws the belt at Cesaro and lays him out with a Brogue Kick.

Stardust talks about needing what they have and about one of the Usos being hurt. He keeps turning around and changes his tone every time. Apparently they have a title shot at Night of Champions.

Jimmy Uso vs. Heath Slater

Jey is on a crutch. Jimmy misses a quick superkick attempt and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Slater stomps away and hooks a chinlock before sending Jimmy into the corner. Uso fights out and nails a Whisper in the Wind for two. He has to kick Titus down though and walks into a side kick for two. Cole: “The Gator is down!” JBL: “Call Skinner!” Back up and the superkick knocks Slater out of the air and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 2:59.

We look back at the Divas segment from Raw.

Stephanie announces Nikki vs. AJ vs. Paige for the title at Night of Champions.

Nikki thanks Stephanie for her announcement and says she’s finally learning what it means to have a real sister. She talks about being treated horribly by her sister all her life.

Here are Lana and Rusev to respond to Mark Henry. Lana says we’re in America’s heartland but that’s an oxymoron because America has no heart. If it had one though, it would be made in China. America used to be great but is soon to be nothing, just like Mark Henry. This brings out Mark who says he challenged Rusev, but that isn’t the question. The question is whether Rusev is going to accept the challenge or hide behind the woman that looks like an escort. Lana accepts the challenge on Rusev’s behalf and Henry promises to give him a red white and blue whipping.

Jerry Springer will be having an intervention with the Bellas on Raw. Oh dear.

Paige vs. Brie Bella

Non-title, AJ is on commentary and Nikki is at ringside. Brie has her own music now and it’s the generic pop rock song you would expect it to be. Brie takes her to the mat to start and we’re quickly in the catfight. Paige gets taken down out of a lockup but pulls Brie out to the floor. Back in and Paige crawls onto Brie as AJ makes some comments about missing her baby. Brie comes back with clotheslines and a running knee to the chest. The fans chant YES but AJ and Nikki are in a fight on the floor. Brie hits a missile dropkick as AJ beats up Nikki, sending Brie outside for a save. She heads back in for the Rampaige and the pin at 4:27.

Rating: D+. The catfighting makes me think the Bella showdown is going to be an even bigger disaster than I thought. Brie can be passable in the ring but Nikki has never proven herself capable of having more than a bad match. This was nothing special and was more about the drama than the wrestling, which is better in a way but still bad.

Harper says Wyatt is a serpent and the rat can’t run fast enough. Bray tells Jericho that he has to pay for his sins on Monday. Rowan adds in a RUN.

Bo Dallas vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder dropkicks him at the bell and nails a faceplant, only to have Bo pop up for the Bodog and the pin at 43 seconds.

Post match Bo says everyone must be living in Nebraska because of some horrible choices in their lives. If Jack Swagger can turn their lives around, so can everyone else. He’s about to start his own WE THE PEOPLE when Swagger hits the ring and beats him up.

We see the Rollins/Ambrose/Reigns stuff again.

Roman Reigns/John Cena/Chris Jericho/Big Show/Mark Henry vs. Wyatt Family/Kane/Seth Rollins

We get a LOUD Y2J chant as Big Show starts with Rollins. The giant hits his loud chop in the corner and brings in Henry for a splash. Big Show loads up a gorilla press but Rollins escapes and tags in Wyatt. Bray is quickly thrown around so it’s off to Rowan for the big man showdown. Show busts out a sunset flip for two followed by a hard shoulder block. He rips open Erick’s coveralls for a chop before it’s back to Henry for another splash.

Jericho comes in to a big pop and nails Erick with a dropkick to the side of Rowan’s head. We take a break and come back with Kane dropkicking Big Show’s knee out. Off to Wyatt for some stomping before Harper slaps on a chinlock. Big Show fights up but gets dropkicked down for two, with the kickout sending Harper out to the floor. Seth comes in to work on the leg before quickly tagging in Wyatt. A DDT gets two and it’s already back to Harper for a headlock.

Big Show suplexes him down and finally makes the tag off to Reigns to clean house. A Samoan drop to puts Harper down but they head to the floor where the numbers game results in Reigns being sent into the barricade. We take another break and come back with Rowan holding Reigns in the skull crusher. Reigns is sent to the floor and Rollins whips him into the barricade while talking trash. Back in for another chinlock but Reigns powers up, only to get kicked in the head.

Harper comes in again as Cena is pacing around on the floor playing cheerleader. Reigns suplexes Luke down but charges into a big boot for two. It’s back to Kane who walks into a running clothesline and the hot tag brings in Jericho. A top rope shot to the head puts Kane down and the Lionsault connects, only to have Kane pop up and grab him for a chokeslam. Jericho counters with an enziguri but can’t get the Walls.

Bray comes in for a save and it’s quickly back to Harper as we take an almost unheard of third break. Back with Rollins working over Jericho with some right hands. Jericho backdrops Rollins to the floor but Seth dives back in to pull Jericho away from the tag. Bray headbutts him a few times and puts on another chinlock.

The running cross body gets two but Bray is down as well. Wyatt spiders up but Jericho elbows out of a Rock Bottom. A dropkick puts Bray down and we FINALLY get the tag to Cena. Everything breaks down and the parade of secondary finishers begins. With everyone else down, Cena puts Rollins in the STF but the Wyatts all come in for the DQ at 17:49 shown of 28:19.

Rating: C+. The match was decent but it felt long more than anything else. They’re doing a good job of making Cena look explosive but I still think they’re keeping the title on Lesnar at the PPV. It doesn’t make sense to have Brock dominate that much at Summerslam and then have Cena win just because he’s fighting harder. The match was good enough and was a decent enough use of half an hour.

The good guys all hit their finishers with Cena planting Rollins with an AA to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show was nothing great but man alive does that one less hour make a difference. It doesn’t drag things down and makes the show much easier to sit through. That and a lack of recaps really helps things along. The main event was decent enough but it took away a lot of matches that could have filled out the card. At least the ten man match was a fourth of the show so everything else wasn’t left hanging. It says a lot when a totally average show is miles ahead of Raw. Granted HHH’s Teddy Long stuff was hilarious.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Cesaro – Rollup

Jimmy Uso b. Heath Slater – Superfly Splash

Paige b. Brie Bella – Rampaige

Bo Dallas b. Zack Ryder – Bodog

John Cena/Big Show/Roman Reigns/Mark Henry/Chris Jericho b. Seth Rollins/Kane/Wyatt Family via DQ when the Wyatt Family attacked Cena at the same time

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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WWE is in an interesting place right now as they’re coming off the great Summerslam show and have Brock Lesnar on top, but the question now is what do they do with him? The Cena rematch is the only option and it’s what we’re getting, but how do you get people to pay for the rematch of a horrible beatdown? Raw is the attempt to start that process. Let’s get to it.

We opened with the Hall of Fame forum and this was a mess. It came off like three old guys just chattering and didn’t really get any point across. Basically only Hogan thinks Cena has a chance in the rematch but they all love him. The best thing that can be said about this is Flair didn’t embarrass himself, which is a rare sight (though he’s been on better behavior as of late).

Cena came out near the end and did his serious voice about how he’s ready for the rematch, though it’s about the norm for him. I’m not sure what they can do for Night of Champions that they didn’t do for Summerslam, but the question of how Cena can make this one closer might be enough to work. I’ll give them this: they’re making me have more sympathy for Cena, which seems to be the goal.

Nitro is coming to the Network. All this does is make me mad that it wasn’t available when I was reviewing the old episodes.

Rusev beat Swagger via referee stoppage in another entertaining match. I like what I’m seeing with Swagger, but someone is going to have to explain the idea behind pushing him by having him lose every match. At least he isn’t tapping anymore. Bo Dallas mocked Swagger after the break to get us to the real point of the thing.

Cesaro beat RVD in a quick match to become #1 contender for the US Title. Why this wasn’t the Summerslam match is beyond me. Cesaro vs. Sheamus should be good. I know this because I’ve seen them fight 384 times.

Paige finally beat Natalya, thereby making the previous losses look worthless. Post match Paige came out and did the semi-lesbian stuff which won’t go anywhere but will spawn a million fanfics.

Kane and Rollins eulogized Dean Ambrose. There wasn’t much to this but it served as a way to get Roman Reigns vs. Rollins started. Reigns broke things up to defend Dean’s honor and got a handicap match as a result, because that’s what the Authority does in WWE.

The Usos lost to the Dusts via countout due to Jimmy banging up his knee. The Dusts turned heel in a post match beatdown on the injured Uso. Those two as heels actually works and will make the promos sound a lot less comical. Also it gives the twins a team to feud with other than the Wyatts, which they’ve been lacking for a good while. How have the Usos been champions for six months? It seems like they just got them.

Lesnar and Heyman did a pretaped promo on Cena. The pretapes are a good idea to keep Lesnar on TV without paying a fortune.

Dolph Ziggler beat Damien Mizdow in a short match. Just story advancement for the next match with Miz.

Now we get to the big segment of the night as the Bellas had a sitdown interview. Brie tried to make up but Nikki (in a skin tight black dress) said every stupid thing she could think of about Brie, ranging from Brie stealing her boyfriends to Brie has an ugly husband to wishing Brie died in the womb. Nikki then shoves Brie down as Brie cried and slapped Jerry Lawler off camera.

The segment, as you can imagine, was cringe worthy. The Bellas can’t act and the things Nikki was saying were more laughable than emotional. Who cares that Brie did something when they were like 15? Stay on the point about Brie abandoning Nikki because there’s an actual story there. Have Brie explain it and then Nikki can be all irrational. In other words, TELL A DECENT STORY. The fans still won’t care, but there would be less to complain about. The blowoff match is going to be horrible.

Roman Reigns beat up Kane and Rollins until Seth brought in the briefcase for the DQ. They tried a Curb Stomp on more cinder blocks but Reigns beat then up again, sending Rollins running scared.

Los Matadores beat Slater and O’Neil. The losers had issues after the match and there’s a slight hint of Slater turning face. Again, I’ve heard worse ideas.

Bo Dallas beat Kofi and then got beaten up by Swagger. More story advancement.

Then we get to the part of the show that got on my nerves worst. Cena basically squashed Bray Wyatt before the Wyatts saved their leader. Then Cena squashed the whole Wyatt Family while Big Show and Mark Henry were in the same general area. Of all the people they have on the roster, Cena had to beat up Bray like that? You can’t put him in there with Harper or Rowan in the first place and have one of them get beaten up that badly? It’s the point of having lackeys: you can keep the big name from taking that big of a beating.

This goes to show you how thin the top of the roster is right now. The heels are all with the Authority and there really isn’t anyone outside of the Wyatts that you can put in this spot. Del Rio would have been perfect, but with him goen, there really was just Bray and company. WWE might have to, gulp, elevate someone before this becomes a bigger problem. Odds are that won’t happen though because WWE.

Raw wasn’t very good on Monday and a lot of that is due to how thin the roster is. With the Authority, Jericho, Ambrose and Orton all gone for the week, the wrestling was a lot thinner than it should have been. They really need some fresh blood at this point and the people are there to elevate if they would ever freaking do it. Unfortunately they seem terrified of that concept and the show gets stale in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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You have to check this out. Where else are you going to get Malibu Kane, John Cena jokes and BERZERKER HUMOR???

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 18, 2014
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Last night, evil won. Brock Lesnar is the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion and squashed John Cena in the process. That’s the only word to descirbe it. Lesnar massacred Cena with John getting in as much offense as the Brooklyn Brawler would have. The questions now are where in the world do we go from here and who could possibly stop Brock Lesnar? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the entire show last night.

Here’s Stephanie to Daniel Bryan’s music coming down the aisle, because there’s nothing else to open the show right? There are new microphone cubes with the new logo. She talks about how important last night was before promising a new title belt for Brock Lesnar tonight. The Authority wishes Cena a speedy recovery, but there are other people who have injuries to heal from. There’s also Chris Jericho and Dean Ambrose, but the biggest loser of them all is Brie Bella.

However, she can’t take all of the credit because she has to thank HHH. Stephanie thanks him for what he did last night but also has to thank Brie’s sister Nikki. This brings out Nikki who hugs Stephanie, basically erasing all of the beatings that Stephanie has caused. Nikki talks about the Bellas coming to the WWE and saying it was them against the world. However, it’s always been about Brie, even back to when they were kids.

She’s sick of hearing Brie tell her she’s never going to have a husband (storyline from Total Divas), even though she didn’t have to marry Daniel Bryan. Nikki feels free now that she’s standing on her own two feet, but here’s Brie with a rebuttal. Brie talks about sisterly love and how Nikki has destroyed their family. Nikki says Brie destroyed it and slaps her, sending Brie crying to the back.

Back from a break and we look at the slap again.

Wyatt Family vs. Big Show/Mark Henry

Henry hammers on Rowan to start but runs into an elbow. It’s quickly off to Harper who gets yelled at and headbutted into the corner. More headbutts stagger Harper and it’s off to Big Show for the loud chop. Some shots the ribs have Harper in even more trouble and his shots have almost no effect. Big Show cleans house and sends Harper outside as we take a break.

Back with Luke snapping Big Show’s throat across the top rope to take over. Rowan tries to help but gets caught trying a low bridge. The distraction works though as Harper kicks Big Show out to the floor. Off to Rowan who kicks Big Show in the face on the floor as the evil monsters take over. Back in and Harper wins a minor slugout before Rowan throws Big Show into a superkick for two.

Harper actually Gator Rolls Big Show before putting on a chinlock. Rowan comes back in and clotheslines Big Show before slamming him with ease. I mean he turned Show upside down and had time to move his arm around Big Show’s head. Big Show pops up (to be fair it was just a slam) and catches Rowan with a DDT. The hot tag brings in Mark Henry and everything breaks down. Luke breaks up the World’s Strongest Slam with a big boot to Rowan’s back but Big Show comes in and KO Punches both guys. A World’s Strongest Slam to Rowan is enough for the pin at 11:46.

Rating: C+. Good match here with both teams working hard and showing off some very good power stuff. That slam from Rowan made my eyes go big though as he doesn’t get to show off that much. I’m not wild on the Wyatts doing another job like this but it’s something you have to expect from time to time.

Ric Flair congratulates Ziggler for winning the Intercontinental Title. Miz comes in and says he’s going to take the title back tonight.

We recap the lumberjack match before going to Rollins in the back. Rollins talks about how he knew he could beat Ambrose and that’s exactly what he did. He says he’s the future WWE World Heavyweight Champion as well as the future of the entire WWE. Ambrose comes up behind him with a bucket of ice water. Ambrose: “IT’S FOR CHARITY!” My goodness it’s a modern reference in WWE. A brawl breaks out and is quickly broken up.

After a break Rollins rants to the Authority and is given a rematch against Ambrose tonight. The WWE Universe will get to pick the stipulations.

Paige vs. Natalya

Non-title and Natalya is now in shorts. Paige talks about how much she respects and loves AJ, even dedicating the match to her. Feeling out process to start and they quickly trade backslides. Paige escapes hers though and kicks Natalya in the back of the head to take over. She crawls on top of Natalya for the pop of the night before headbutting her without seeming to make much contact. Cue AJ skipping down to the ring, allowing Natalya to get a rollup win at 1:46.

AJ says that despite everything, she still respects and loves Paige. She offers to come in and shake Paige’s hand, sending Paige running to the floor.

The options for Ambrose vs. Rollins are:

No Holds Barred
Falls Count Anywhere
No DQ

HHH and Stephanie, now in a very low cut black dress after being in a t-shirt and jeans earlier, are out to unveil the new title. It’s the same design that Rock introduced a few years back but with the new logo and a bit shinier. The side plates are Brock’s skull tattoo. He brings out Brock Lesnar for the presentation and shakes his hand before posing for a photo op. A loud LESNAR chant starts up as HHH raises Brock’s arm.

Heyman slowly does his intro and says Cena isn’t here this evening. That basically gets a standing ovation. Heyman says Cena can’t be here because he can’t physically appear, thanks to Brock Lesnar. Brock is sitting on a stool with the biggest grin on his face, knowing no one can touch him.

Paul goes on a rant about how important Brock’s accomplishments last night were. Rock was on top for three years. Steve Austin (POP) was on top for three years. John Cena has been on top for TEN YEARS and was tough enough to stick around longer than thirty seconds last night. Heyman saw a look on Cena’s face last night and that was when he got it.

Cena’s speeches get on Heyman’s nerves but he kept coming back for more and more because he never gives up. Cena earned Heyman’s respect to the point where he would love to make John a Paul Heyman Guy. If the history of WWE was written right before Brock pinned him last night, Heyman would be the hardest fighting champion in WWE history.

However, Brock doesn’t agree with these views. In Lesnar’s universe, street cred doesn’t matter. In Brock’s universe, he who dies with the most street cred still dies. The Undertaker’s career and Streak died at Lesnar’s hands and the concept of hustle, loyalty and respect and the Cenation died at Lesnar’s hands.

The same thing is happening to anyone who comes to take the WWE Title from Brock Lesnar. Heyman sums up the match last night: Suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat. Lesnar lives by the motto of Eat, Sleep, Conquer Repeat, but now it’s Eat, Sleep, Conquer John Cena. Another awesome promo here from Lesnar and they were right to not have anyone come out here.

Here’s Nikki slapping Brie again.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph is defending after beating Miz for the title last night. This actually gets big match intros. A hiptoss puts Miz down for two and Dolph puts on a headlock. Miz goes after the knee and stomps away in the corner. He wraps the leg around the post and Ziggler is in trouble as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler getting two off a sunset flip and hitting the running DDT for the same. Miz comes right back with a shot to the knee and puts on the Figure Four. Dolph dives to the ropes and rolls outside for a breather. Miz reaches out for Dolph but gets rammed into the apron. Dolph gets kicked away though and that’s a countout at 7:20.

Rating: D+. Last night I said that Dolph was going to start losing a lot more because he was the Intercontinental Champion, and apparently I was absolutely right. It wasn’t a pin, but man alive does this feud really need to continue? The match wasn’t the worst in the world but these two have fought enough already.

Post match Dolph lays him out with the Zig Zag.

Jack Swagger is disappointed in his loss last night and failed his country last night. However, We The People is about coming together when times get tough. He’s going to do what any Real American should do and get back up.

Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro

Swagger is here alone. Cesaro starts with a gutwrench suplex on the bad ribs and it’s quickly off to the abdominal stretch. He switches off to an armbar and Swagger comes back with a big boot and the Vader Bomb. Cesaro drapes the bad ribs over the ropes but his running big boot is caught in the Patriot Lock while Swagger is still on the apron. Back in and Cesaro pokes the eye, setting up the Neutralizer for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Well at least Cesaro won. I’m not sure where they’re going with this character with Swagger, but it’s nice to see him getting a push instead of just stagnating like he was. Cesaro getting the pin is another good thing to see, even if it’s in a pretty meaningless match. At least it was short.

Post match Cesaro laughs at Swagger until Bo Dallas comes out. He talks about the 318 million Americans that Jack let down. Swagger has lost everything, but he just has to Bo-Lieve to get it all back.

Chris Jericho says he’s never seen anyone like Bray Wyatt. The Spider Walk is one of the most disturbing things he’s ever seen. There’s nothing behind Bray’s eyes though and when he told Jericho that he was already dead, Jericho knew it was a lie. He has three things Bray will never have: a fire burning inside him, a fighting spirit and the best fans in WWE history.

Randy Orton/Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Rob Van Dam/Roman Reigns/Sheamus

Sheamus runs over Axel to start but Axel nails him in the ribs before bringing in Orton. Off to Van Dam who kicks Randy down and hits a quick Rolling Thunder to send Orton to the floor and us to a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the ten forearms to Axel’s chest before doing the same to Ryback. Orton low bridges Sheamus to the floor and the heels take over again. Sheamus is sent over the timekeeper’s table as the fans chant FEED MORE ME and RYBACK RULES for the hometown guy.

Randy makes a big deal out of tagging Ryback in and the Big Guy is ready for the task for once. Ryback drives shoulders into the ribs in the corner before putting Sheamus in a front facelock. There’s a delayed vertical suplex for two and it’s back to Orton. Sheamus backdrops out of the Elevated DDT and it’s hot tag to Reigns so house can be cleaned. The apron kick nails Axel and it’s Superman Punches for the tag team.

Orton breaks up the spear with a backbreaker but Reigns tags in Van Dam who cross bodies Axel for two. The split legged moonsault gets the same and everything brekas down. A Brogue Kick drops Ryback but an RKO puts Sheamus down. Reigns is sent into the post but RVD kicks Axel down and the Five Star gets the pin at 11:10.

Rating: C. Not bad here but I’m not sure why you would have Van Dam get the pin instead of Reigns. I get not having Reigns pin Orton again but he can’t get a win over someone like Curtis Axel? The match was fine and the ending was better than most of the rest of the match. It was fine and about the right length too.

We recap the ice bucket thing from earlier.

Orton is walking in the back when Ric Flair comes up. Randy threatens to beat him up and Flair stares at him.

Bray Wyatt says he was riding on a pale horse to come after Chris Jericho last night. He warned Jericho that this was coming and he certainly is a man of his word. Jericho claims that he looked in Bray’s eyes last night and saw nothing. Maybe Chris is right. Maybe Bray doesn’t have a soul and the only purpose he has on this earth is to collect. Jericho may never be able to comprehend what he is. Bray declares himself the new face of salvation. Follow the buzzards.

We see the slap for the fourth time.

Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust

Non-title. Goldust and Jey start things off with Jey grabbing a quick rollup for two. Jimmy comes in and dances a bit before starting on the arm. It’s off to Stardust who gets forearmed in the face in the corner as this is one sided so far. Jey cranks on a chinlock for a good while until Stardust escapes into a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere at 5:52.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work all that well and I really don’t like a second champion losing in a single night. I’m also not sure where we’re going with the Usos as they haven’t appeared in awhile but now we have the Dusts and Big Show/Mark Henry ready for a title match. Oh wait: triple threat it is I guess.

Lana and Rusev come out to brag but Mark Henry interrupts. Henry talks about representing the United States twice in the Olympic Games, and this is the only time he’s ever had a problem with anyone representing their flag. Last night what he saw got under his skin so he’s going to do something about it. Henry offers to give Rusev a guided tour of the Hall of Pain. The brawl is on with Henry laying Rusev out and Mark celebrating with everyone at ringside.

Preview of a documentary of the Shield coming to Summerslam.

We look back at Brock and Heyman from earlier.

Falls count anywhere wins the poll with 41% of the vote.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Falls count anywhere. Rollins wins an early slugout and they quickly fight into the crowd with Dean getting a two count. They go up by the stage and fight over various dangerous moves. Ambrose suplexes him down for two and takes it back to the ring. Dean throws in a bunch of chairs and slams both one of them and Rollins down at the same time. A middle rope elbow with the chair gets two but Rollins sends him face first into a chair in the corner for two.

Back with Rollins holding a Singapore cane around Dean’s face. He picks Ambrose up and knocks him into the ropes before ducking the Rebound Clothesline. An enziguri gets two on Dean and a tornado DDT gets the same on Seth. They slug it out from their knees and a catapult sends Rollins into the buckle. Dean hammers away with the Singapore Cane and uses it for a Russian legsweep for two. Ambrose throws in a pile of chairs and loads up a superplex, only to have Rollins counter into a running sitout powerbomb onto the chairs for TWO. Kane is at ringside and Rollins throws in a table.

Seth loads up a top rope Curb Stomp through the table but Dean pops up for a superplex to drive Rollins through instead. He has to go after Kane though and sends Rollins out to the floor. There’s the suicide dive to take both guys out and Kane is down. Back in and the Rebound Clothesline sets up Dirty Deeds but Kane interferes AGAIN.

Ambrose sends Kane into the steps and backdrops Seth into the crowd. Kane is sent over the announcers’ table, allowing Dean to get a running start to dive over the barricade at Rollins. Dean loads up the announcers’ table but Kane breaks up Dirty Deeds and chokeslams Dean onto the table instead. A Curb Stomp onto the table (still didn’t break) knocks Dean silly but Kane lists up another table to reveal a bunch of cinder blocks. Seth Curb Stomps Dean’s head THROUGH THE BLOCKS and Dean is done. The referee calls the match at 20:26.

Rating: A-. Now THAT was a brawl. It took awhile to get going but the stuff after the break was the war that it was supposed to be. This is the match that they should have had last night, though the injury angle keeps things going in a few months. That ending spot was insane though and will likely write Dean off TV long enough to make a movie that no one is going to see because WWE is about entertainment and not wrestling.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show but as usual, it needed to be an hour (and two slap replays) shorter. Brock not having a challenger yet is fine as Cena will return next week to probably set up their rematch. The rest of the show set up a few new things while also bringing up some rematches for Night of Champions. It’s a good show though and a nice followup to last night’s really good pay per view. The wrestling wasn’t great but the stories were, and that’s what people have been concerned about lately.

Results
Mark Henry/Big Show b. Wyatt Family – World’s Strongest Slam to Rowan
Natalya b. Paige – Rollup
The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler via countout
Cesaro b. Jack Swagger – Neutralizer
Sheamus/Rob Van Dam/Roman Reigns b. Curtis Axel/Ryback/Roman Reigns – Five Star Frog Splash to Axel
Goldust/Stardust b. Usos – Sunset flip to Jey
Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose via referee’s stoppage

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