Summerslam Count-Up – 1998: Rock And HHH Ascend

Summerslam 1998
Date: August 30, 1998
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 21,588
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

A year has passed and a lot has changed. The biggest things of all are Austin being the WWF Champion and Raw dominating the Monday Night Wars. The Attitude Era is in full swing and there’s nothing standing in the way of the WWF at this point. We have Austin defending the title against Undertaker in the main event after a summer of wondering if Undertaker is in league with the evil Vince McMahon. This is the biggest Summerslam of all time and could have easily been Wrestlemania if it was that time of the year. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how all the lies will be revealed tonight. Vince has promised Undertaker the title in exchange for something that hasn’t been revealed yet, leading to the conspiracy theories.

European Title: Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown is defending and there’s no story to this that I remember. It has a sixty minute time limit, just in case the lower midcard title match in the opening slot pushes going Broadway. Since we’re in MSG we have the old school set with the entrance opposite the cameras instead of off to one side. This is Venis’ first title shot and D’Lo is doing a gimmick where he’s from a different European city each time with tonight being Helsinki. He’s also part of the Nation of Domination here but only has his chest protector for an advantage here.

Brown shoves him into the ropes to start and they slap hands. The champion also slaps Val’s face to tick him off as JR tells us about Austin destroying a hearse which may have had Undertaker or Kane inside. Brown hits a standing splash with the chest protector for added impact to take over. A splash misses in the corner though and Venis takes over with a Russian legsweep. After a quick breather on the floor, Brown comes back in to run the ropes but he gets caught in a spinebuster. A newcomer named Edge is watching in the crowd.

Venis misses a splash and gets caught in a belly to back suplex to give Brown control again. Val comes back with an overhead t-bone suplex but walks into a clothesline followed by a legdrop for two. A leg lariat and a middle rope elbow gets the same and Val is holding his back for some reason. Brown follows up on the injury with a Texas Cloverleaf but lets it go after only a few seconds. Did he learn submissions from No Mercy? Brown misses a middle rope senton and both guys are down. The fans are much more into this than you would expect them to be.

Val hits some running knees to the ribs and a backdrop for no cover. He tries a high cross body but gets caught in a Sky High (lifting powerbomb) which gets a delayed two count. Brown hits a quick DDT but dives off the middle rope into a powerslam for two. A butterfly suplex sets up the Money Shot (top rope splash) but Brown gets his knees up.

The fans LOUDLY chant for D’Lo but he can’t get Val all the way up for a powerbomb. Another try is good for a running Liger Bomb but the Low Down frog splash misses. Val finally rips off the chest protector and puts it on himself before going up top. The referee tries to pull him down and crotches him, earning a toss from Val for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I was digging this until the lame ending. The problem here was the match built up over fifteen minutes and then hit a brick wall with a referee crotching a guy on the top and then complaining that the guy was hurt. That’s not a satisfactory ending to a match with that long of a build, but at least the build was good.

Val slams the referee and hits a Money Shot.

Mankind is mad that Austin broke the hearse (“I have to take it to the Brisco Brothers Body Shop.”) because he wanted to put Kane in it later tonight. Mankind has a sledge hammer and wants to use it on someone.

Insane Clown Posse plays the Oddities to the ring to a HUGE reaction.

Oddities vs. Kaientai

The Oddities are Golga (Earthquake under a mask), Giant Silva (Great Khali’s size and about a tenth of the skill) and Kurrgan (uh….yeah). Kaientai is a four man heel team here and not the comedy guys they would become in a year or so. Golga starts with Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and the big man rams his own head into the buckle for some reason. He shoves down all four members of Kaientai as we’re firmly in comedy match territory.

Golga steals Kaientai’s manager Yamaguchi-San’s shoes and blasts various people with it before it’s off to the dancing Kurrgan. He gets on his knees to fight Funaki in a funny bit before dancing even more. Three of the four Japanese guys swarm Kurrgan to no effect as he cleans house anyway. Yamaguchi-San is shoved down again and it’s off to Silva to clean the little bit of the house which isn’t taken care of yet.

Kaientai gets in a fight over who comes in but it’s Dick Togo (Best name EVER) who gets the job. All four guys come in again but they can’t combine to lift Silva’s legs. Silva sends all four of them into the corner and crushes them at once before Kurrgan comes in to whip one into the other three. Silva throws Taka over the top onto the other three as this is complete dominance. Back in and Golga tries a seated senton on Mens Teioh but Taka and Togo hit a double dropkick to stagger him.

Two members of the team combine to slam him and four straight top rope splashes followed by four straight legdrops get no cover. A quadruple dropkick has Golga in trouble but a quadruple clothesline puts Kaientai down. The hot tag brings in Kurrgan who takes down everyone in sight and hits a wicked side slam on Funaki. Everything breaks down as managers Luna Vachon and Yamaguchi-San get in a fight. A quadruple chokeslam is good for the pin by Golga on everyone from Japan.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing but comedy, it was overly long, Golga is the only Oddity that could do a thing in the ring…..and I can’t help but love the Oddities. There’s just something so innocently goofy about them that I smile every time I see Kurrgan do his dance. The match sucked but it has no expectations coming in so it’s completely harmless.

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Hair vs. Hair here and Jarrett has Southern Justice (the Godwinns) with him. They combined to cut Howard Finkel’s hair earlier tonight so he’s in Pac’s corner in case the ending wasn’t obvious yet. Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter throws Southern Justice out before we get going. In something I never thought I’d see, Fink does the crotch chop. Jeff jumps Pac from behind but a spinwheel kick and a clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor. A big dive takes him out again and the crowd is into X-Pac.

Back in and Jeff hits a pair of great dropkicks to send Pac out to the floor. Pac is crotched against the post and Jarrett pounds away in the ring. A snap powerslam gets two but Pac comes back with a tornado DDT for two. The crowd continues to be white hot as Finkel plays cheerleader. Some kicks in the corner have Jarrett in trouble but he grabs a quick sleeper to stop X-Pac’s momentum.

As is always the case when Jarrett puts someone in a sleeper, the other guy hooks a quick sleeper on Jeff but gets reversed into the corner. Pac misses a cross body out of the corner to give Jarrett two and it’s Figure Four time. The hold stays on for a very long time but Pac gets twoo close to the ropes, making Jeff let go to put it on again. The break lets Pac kick him into the corner before taking Jeff’s head off with a spinwheel kick. There’s the Bronco Buster and X-Pac rolls through a high cross body for two.

A Jarrett leapfrog is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two and Howard is starting to panic. Another Bronco Buster attempt is countered by a low blow but Jarrett stops to hit the Fink, allowing the X Factor to connect for a VERY close two. Southern Justice is back but Dennis Knight (Phineas) drops a guitar, giving Pac the shot to Jarrett for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it went a bit too long for what they were trying to do. If Southern Justice could come out at the end, where were they for the other ten minutes of the match? The haircut was the move that Jarrett needed as he changed his entire character from Tennessee Guy to chauvinist pig soon after this.

The Outlaws, the Headbangers and Droz come out to hold Jarrett’s arms down for the haircut. This is the debut of Jarrett’s short hair which he’s had almost ever since.

Michael Cole asks Rock about attacking HHH’s knee with the IC Title belt on Sunday Night Heat. Rock threatens to smack Cole with the belt if he asks another stupid question. Tonight he proves he’s the people’s champ. Cole: “Thank you Rock and back…..” Rock: “Shut up. Back to the jabronis at ringside.”

Jacqueline/Marc Mero vs. Sable/???

This is the final blowoff of the long Mero vs. Sable feud. The mystery partner is Edge who has only been around for a month or so at this time. The guys start things off with Edge hitting some quick Japanese armdrags. Off to Jackie who demands Sable come in but runs off to Mero as soon as the blonde comes in. Edge hits a quick flapjack but Jackie trips him up to give Mero a free shot.

The million dollar kneelift puts Edge down and Jackie chokes even more. Mero’s TKO is countered into a DDT and it’s off to the girls again. Sable hits her kicks in the corner and a forearm to knock Marc to the floor but she can’t powerbomb Mero. Jackie gets in a cheap shot but gets caught in a passable TKO (fireman’s carry into a cutter) for two as Mero makes a save.

Jackie accidentally drills Mero (he’s having a bad night) and it’s back to the guys for a dive from Edge. Jackie tries to choke Edge but gets spanked for her efforts. Back in and a high cross gets two for Edge and drops Mero with a neckbreaker out of the corner. Marc comes back with a Samoan drop but gets crotched going up. Sable gets the tag and hits a top rope rana for one. Jackie’s save messes up and everything breaks down. The Downward Spiral lays out Mero and Edge drops Sable on top of him for the pin and a big pop.

Rating: C-. The match kind of sucked but Sable was WAY over. You have to remember how big of a deal she was back then to keep this in context. Sable was the final thing you would see on Raw a lot of the time, much like Cena is today. The biggest problem I still have with this match is what JR says at the end: “SHE DID IT!” This was all about Sable and Edge, the guy they were trying to rub, could have been any other guy.

Mankind doesn’t know what to do because Kane can’t wrestle tonight and he’s lost his sledgehammer. Maybe Michael Cole can be his partner tonight. Or maybe Mankind can go out and play in traffic. If the people want their money’s worth, that’s what he’s willing to do. Vince comes up to calm Mankind down and reminds him of his legacy in MSG. If Mankind can win a handicap match in MSG, he’ll be in the Hall of Fame by Tuesday.

Mankind doesn’t have a weapon but Vince brings him up a cookie sheet. “I’m handing you immortality on a silver platter!” Mankind says if the Outlaws have a problem with him beating them both, he has thirteen words for them: how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Foley was feeling it here and is pretty keyed up to be in MSG.

We recap Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock. Hart has been trained by Dan Severn, Shamrock’s old UFC rival, to set up a Lion’s Den match which is basically a UFC cage knockoff.

Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock

This is in a theater adjacent to MSG. You win by submission or knockout I believe but JR isn’t really clear on it. It’s a cool visual if nothing else. Shamrock rams him into the cage before taking him down to the mat where we start trading submissions. Ken pounds away at the head and suplexes Owen down before choking away. Owen hits a legal low blow to escape but Shamrock clotheslines him down with ease. I think that passes the point of logical no selling.

Shamrock chokes Owen with his shirt before taking him down with an easy throw. Owen finally realizes he can’t go toe to toe with Ken and rams him face first into the cage. Hart pounds away against the cage and lays Shamrock out with an enziguri. A hot shot into the cage sets up a backbreaker but Shamrock backdrops out of a piledriver. Another kick to Ken’s head changes control again but Shamrock wins a quick slugout. He runs up the cage for a back elbow then kicks Owen in the face.

Hart comes right back with a powerslam and a belly to belly sets up the Sharpshooter. In an awesome counter, Shamrock crawls over to the cage and pulls himself up the wall to escape the hold. A tornado DDT off the wall puts Owen down and a spinwheel kick does the same. Owen sends him into the cage and tries a dragon sleeper but Shamrock walks up the cage to backflip out and the ankle lock gets the submission.

Rating: B. This was different than your usual wrestling match but more importantly it was fun. These two beat the tar out of each other and the whole thing worked very well. Notice the main difference here than what you would get today: you never heard the letters UFC here, meaning there’s nothing to compare it to, making this match seem more impressive. Today you would hear UFC and Ultimate Fighting dropped every two seconds and it would just make you want to watch a UFC show.

Austin is ready.

Tag Titles: Mankind vs. New Age Outlaws

Mankind and Kane are the champions but as mentioned Kane is missing. This is no holds barred and falls count anywhere, making this a hardcore match. The Outlaws are ridiculously over and Mankind is approaching his face turn if not almost already there. Billy and Roadie bring a dumpster to the ring but Mankind meets them with the cookie sheet. He and Billy both get chairs and Mankind wins a quick duel but the numbers game catches up with him.

They take turns hitting him in the head with metal objects and hit a prototype Conchairto for good measure. Mankind comes back with a running knee to crush the cookie sheet into Roadie’s face and gets two off a neckbreaker to Gunn. Dogg breaks up the elbow off the apron and the Outlaws ram Mankind’ s head into the dumpster. Roadie sets up a table in the corner but Mankind sends Gunn through it instead. The reverse 3D gets two for Dogg and the fans are trying to get behind Mankind. A powerbomb through two chairs is only good for two but a spike piledriver onto a title belt is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a weird match as the Outlaws were the automatic heels despite the fans liking them. That being said, it’s Mick Foley in New York. The guy is over like free beer in a frat house so there’s no way the fans are going to be against him. Billy and Road Dogg wrestled like heels here but as JR said, they’re not breaking any rules and they want their titles back. It’s not like you can blame them, but you were supposed to which just made it weird.

Post match the Outlaws go to put Mankind in the dumpster but Kane pops out. He pulls out the sledgehammer and crushes Mankind’s head, officially turning Mankind face.

We recap HHH vs. The Rock. These two led their respective factions in a major war over the summer and this is the final blowoff (not really but for all intents and purposes it was done after this). Rock is Intercontinental Champion and the belt is being held above the ring for a ladder match. The idea is there’s no one left to help Rock or HHH and it’s all about who is the better man.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. HHH

Rock has held the title since December and there hasn’t been a longer reign since. The DX band plays HHH to the ring. Chyna and Mark Henry are the seconds here. The referee takes a long time to get the belt ready which is why it’s usually above the ring when the match begins. Rock talks some trash and the fight is on. A quick clothesline takes the champion down and a facebuster does the same. HHH escapes the Rock Bottom but gets punched down in the corner.

A quick Pedigree attempt is countered with a backdrop to the floor and Rock goes for the ladder. As is the custom, there’s a fight over who gets to bring the ladder into the ring. HHH takes the fight back to the ring before going after a ladder. This time it’s Rock’s turn to stop the attempt and they fight in the aisle again. Rock gets a ladder up against the ring and whips HHH HARD into the steel.

The champion starts his climb but HHH flies in off the top to break it up, but the ladder falls on him to keep both guys down. A hard ladder shot puts Rock down again and HHH drives the top of the ladder into his ribs. Rock pulls HHH off the ladder and the future Game lands on his knee, legitimately injuring it and requiring several months off to heal up. Some elbows to the knee make the pain even worse but the ladder being dropped on it is far more painful.

Rock puts the leg between the ladder legs and crushes it with the chair for good measure. Now the leg is wrapped around the post and the fans are split. Rock bridges the ladder between the steps and the barricade so he can drop the knee across the steel. The ladder is barely in one piece so Rock’s climbing is very slow, allowing HHH to make a last second save. He also shoves the ladder down until his knee can recover a bit.

Rock is shoved to the floor but he catches HHH in a catapult face first into the ladder. The champion tries to slam the ladder onto HHH but a kick to the ribs makes him drop the ladder. A clothesline puts Rock down but he counters a Pedigree into a backdrop onto the ladder. Mark Henry throws in another ladder but Rock does the slowest climb in recorded history, allowing HHH to shove it down again. HHH baseball slides the top of the ladder into Rock’s face to send him to the floor, busting him open bad.

Now it’s time for HHH to climb up but Rock makes another save to send HHH crashing to the mat. Rock puts a ladder on top of the corner and plants HHH with a DDT. Both guys slowly climb for a slugout on top but it’s HHH being shoved off into the ladder in the corner. With one last rush he shoves Rock’s ladder over to get us back to even again. Chyna slides HHH a chair and knocks the ladder into Rock before beating the chair into the ladder over and over again.

HHH can’t follow up so Rock slams him down onto the ladder and hits a People’s Elbow to get the crowd on his side again. HHH somehow gets up again and tries a climb but makes the mistake of diving onto Rock for a Rock Bottom. Rock goes up but HHH pulls him back down for a Pedigree as JR is losing his mind on these big moves. HHH tries to get up but Henry throws powder in his eyes. A blind HHH goes up but can’t see the belt. Rock goes up as well but it’s Chyna with a low blow, allowing HHH to pull down the belt for the win.

Rating: A+. This was a history making match as these two are officially the future and it was time for Rock to ascend to the top of the company. The match is one of my all time favorites and it’s an overlooked masterpiece because of the series these two had in 2000. These two went to war and had Madison Square Garden, the smark capital of the world, eating out of the palm of their hand. That’s only happened a handful of times ever and this was one of the best ever.

As for the match itself it worked for a variety of reasons. More than anything else though it was due to the ladder being a prop for the guys rather than the focus of the match. The story built around the leg injury and the drama instead of the big spots. It’s very rare that you get a ladder match like this anymore and the match is absolute required viewing as a result.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Do you really need more of an explanation than that? If you’ve never seen the video for this set to Highway to Hell, make sure to check it out as it’s one of the best ever. The basckstory is Undertaker wants the title back and might be in league with Vince in order to do so. He’s also guaranteed that Kane will NOT interfere in this match. Taker is a tweener at this point as he has all the characteristics of being evil but hasn’t made the turn yet.

Austin fires off right hands in the corner to start but Undertaker throws him into the corner to take over. A clothesline gets two on Austin and there’s a double bird. They trade arm control until Austin takes him down with a drop toehold (!) into a hammerlock. Taker fights out of an armbar and whips Austin into the ropes for the spot that changes the entire match: Taker ducks down and gets kicked in the face, but the challenger’s head snaps up and rams into Austin’s chin, breaking his jaw and knocking him silly for the rest of the match.

Taker hits a quick suplex and a hot shot as Austin is still getting his head together. Some punches in the corner put Austin down again but Steve pulls him to the floor and rams Taker’s leg into the apron. It goes around the post as well before Austin takes him back inside before being taking the jumping clothesline. Old School is countered with a hip toss off the top and Austin stomps away on the leg.

Kane pops up at the entrance but Undertaker tells him to go back. The brawl keeps going but Austin goes to the floor to make sure Kane is gone. A somewhat sloppy chokeslam brings Austin back in but he clotheslines Taker to the floor. They fight into the crowd with Taker backdropping Austin onto the concrete. Back to ringside with Austin being rammed back first into the post, making JR scream that Austin may be paralyzed. That would be two years in a row if true.

Austin fights out of the corner but gets sent back first to the apron again. Back to the floor and Taker loads up the announce table which is always scary. He chokes Austin out on the table and goes up top for a HUGE legdrop off the top but the table DOESN’T BREAK! Austin slides off the table and the crash looks great. Back in and Austin is just gone but he kicks out at two. Austin gets up a boot in the corner and they clothesline each other down again.

Back up and Austin wins a slugout but there’s almost nothing behind his punches. There’s the Thesz Press and the (lacking middle fingers) elbow. Austin is whipped hard into the corner and tries a Stunner but Taker falls backwards in an awkward fall for two. Taker comes back with a chokeslam but the tombstone is countered into a very ugly sequence culminating in Austin being crotched. A Russian legsweep puts Austin down and Taker loads up Old School, but Austin crotches him on the top and the Stunner retains the title.

Rating: B-. The injury crippled them out there as Austin was totally out of it for about 90% of this match. The match isn’t terrible but it’s way below what they were shooting for and what the fans were expecting. It was a good idea to keep Kane out of this and it keeps Taker’s character ambiguous which is the right call here. That injury just stopped everything cold here though and dragged the match way down.

Post match Taker hands Austin the belt and walks away to stand next to Kane in the entrance.

Overall Rating: A-. This was built up as one of the biggest Summerslams of all time and that’s exactly how it comes off. Everything feels like a big deal and there’s a masterpiece with the ladder match. The main event was a bit disappointing but considering the injury it’s really quite good. It’s definitely a show worth seeing with the WWF putting their foot down on WCW’s neck and knowing they were on fire.

Ratings Comparison

Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown

Original: B

Redo: C+

Oddities vs. Kaientai

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Original: B

Redo: C

Marc Mero/Jacqueline vs. Sable/Edge

Original: F

Redo: C-

Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

Redo: B

Mankind vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D+

HHH vs. The Rock

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A-

Most of the matches are rated higher and the overall rating is lower. Sounds like one of my old reviews.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/01/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1998-the-biggest-summerslam-ever/

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Monday Night Raw – July 29, 2013: Does Momentum Fear Tape?

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 29, 2013
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This is a rare taped episode of the show as the main guys are off in Australia at the moment for an international tour. We’re only a few weeks away from Summerslam and the main event matches are set, so most of the next few weeks will be about firming things up for the big show. We also have Cena vs. Ryback in a tables match and Bryan vs. Kane in a double main event. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Bryan running the gauntlet last week and Cena saving him from Ryback to close the show.

Here are Vince and Maddox to open the show. Brad apologizes for allowing Cena to pick his Summerslam opponent. Vince talks about Brad calling Bryan a psychologically disturbed troll who doesn’t have the aura of being a WWE Champion. Before Maddox can say how he REALLY feels about Bryan, here’s Goat face himself. Daniel says the words might have come out of Maddox’s mouth but they were dictated by Vince. McMahon says Bryan interrupted him and that’s disrespectful.

Bryan says that he’s worked hard for Vince over the years and hasn’t gotten a bit of respect in return. The fans keep chanting and Vince can’t get them to shut up. McMahon asks if Bryan respects Cena and Bryan says he does, but Vince thinks Cena is lying. Vince calls Cena a master manipulator and says Bryan is falling for the whole thing. Bryan is lacking the ruthless aggression to launch him to the top, but Cena doesn’t have it anymore either.

Vince says Cena walks around like he owns the place and Vince can’t stand it. He doesn’t want Cena to win at Summerslam either, but rather that both spontaneously combust, making Vince the winner at Summerslam. Bryan says it doesn’t matter what Vince thinks but rather what the people think. The people want a new champion named Daniel Bryan and a HUGE YES chant strikes up as Bryan leaves.

Mark Henry/Usos vs. Shield

Ambrose starts with Henry but Dean is easily thrown around. Rolins gets the same treatment so here’s Reigns to try his luck. Mark offers a test of strength but kicks Roman in the ribs to take over instead. Henry takes him into the corner and it’s off to Jey for some speed. Reigns easily takes him down and it’s time to start the Shield attack in the corner. Jey escapes and makes the hot tag to Jimmy who cleans a few rooms of the house before tagging in Henry.

A running elbow misses Ambrose and Dean goes crazy on the big man. Henry easily blocks a double suplex and sends Shield to the floor for a double suicide dive by the brothers. Back from a break with Roman holding Jey in an armbar. Ambrose comes in to work on Jey as well but a jawbreaker gets Jey out of trouble. Dean misses a charge into the post but Rollins breaks up the hot tag.

As usual the hot tag comes a few seconds later with Henry cleaning house. Ambrose gets tossed around but Reigns spears Mark down to stop him cold. Jimmy tags himself in and gets two off a high cross body to Dean. A Samoan drop looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Ambrose gets the knees up. Bulldog driver to Jimmy is good for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: C-. This was pretty pedestrian stuff but it picked up a bit at the end. I’m guessing the Usos were a transition from one feud to another for Shield which is fine. If nothing else we got a good match out of them at MITB. Anyway nothing to see here but they kept Henry strong which is the right idea.

Henry clears the ring post match.

We get a clip of Ryback bullying a backstage guy at catering. He keeps talking trash and throws the guy through a table. THIS is how you get him over as a heel.

Video on the Wyatts.

Kane wants the Wyatts but Maddox says they’re not here yet. If Kane wants to send a message to them, go beat Daniel Bryan.

Rob Van Dam vs. Fandango

Feeling out process to start until Van Dam kicks Fandango out to the floor. A moonsault from the apron takes the dancer our and the fans LOVE them some Van Dam. Fandango snaps the neck across the top rope to take over and it’s off to the chinlock. A kick to Van Dam’s head gets two but Rob comes back with more kicks of his own and Rolling Thunder gets two. Van Dam hits the springboard kick to the face and loads up the Five Star but Fandango bails for the countout at 4:09.

Rating: D. We really need to protect Fandango from a former world champion? The match was nothing but Van Dam’s return continues to get a strong reaction for not much substance. I don’t get the point in protecting the dancer though given that there’s nothing to him at the moment anyway.

AJ freaks out about fighting Kaitlyn again because Langston doesn’t help her. She accuses Big E. of liking him and Langston feels uncomfortable but AJ laughs and skips off.

Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee

Non-title. AJ takes over to start and has that insane look on her face the entire time. Katilyn throws her off and loads up the spear but a running knee to the head puts her back down. An armbar doesn’t get AJ anywhere as Kaitlyn comes back with a backbreaker. AJ comes back with another armbar as we hear about Tweets from Vickie. Kaitlyn fights up and hits the spear out of nowhere for the pin at 4:51.

Rating: D. You remember those matches between these two that had a ton of heat and were awesome? This is the total opposite at it was just there to fill in a few minutes and set up yet another rematch. They took out all the good parts of this feud and turned it into the same exact thing that plagued the division for years.

Post match AJ freaks out and here’s Ziggler to stir the pot. He suggests AJ sleep with Langston later because Ziggler wants Big E. RIGHT NOW.

Big E. Langston vs. Dolph Ziggler

I would have thought this was a Summerslam match. Langston runs Ziggler over to start and talks a lot of trash. He throws Dolph around even more and throws on a bearhug to work on the ribs a bit as a good power man would. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Ziggler’s back as the fans aren’t all that interested so far. Langston talks even more trash about how it’s his time (isn’t that infringing on Cena’s gimmick?) before missing a charge into the post. Ziggler dropkicks him to the floor but AJ runs in for the DQ at 5:29.

Rating: D+. ANOTHER dull match tonight with the ending being as obvious as you could ask it to be. I’m guessing the guys are tired from the accelerated schedule but this show has almost no energy tonight at all. This match screamed Summerslam rematch to me which is probably the right idea.

Langston takes a Zig Zag post match.

Bryan comes in to see Cena and asks if what Vince said is true. Cena says Vince is trying to sell tickets and wants to know if Bryan is calling him a liar. Bryan says nothing and Cena leaves.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title again. Del Rio takes Christian to the mat with a headlock before they both what looked to be a jumping clothesline from Christian. Del Rio stomps him down in the corner and hits a snap suplex for two. Christian sends him into the middle rope and hits the uppercut, only to charge into a superkick to the ribs. Del Rio charges into the corner but gets backdropped to the floor. Christian charges at Del Rio but hits the steps, allowing Del Rio to hit a running dropkick to send the arm into the steps.

Back with Del Rio stomping on the arm and jumping from the second rope for another shot. Christian is put in the Tree of Woe but manages to fight out of the reverse superplex. A middle rope missile dropkick puts the champion down but Christian misses a charge and sends the bad arm into the post again. Del Rio pounds away for another two count and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same. Alberto misses a middle rope backsplash but runs away from a spear. Back in and the low superkick gets two but the armbreaker is countered into a rollup for the pin for Christian at 13:46.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t bad but it’s in the middle of a very boring show. Here’s the flaw with Del Rio: a win here doesn’t mean much for Christian as Del Rio already lost ten days ago to Orton, so it’s not like him losing is a huge surprise. Christian getting the title shot would be fine, but it’s not like he’s got a chance at the title or anything.

We recap Bryan’s gauntlet match last week.

Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett

Before the match we get a recap of Cody stealing Sandow’s briefcase and throwing it in the Gulf of Mexico. Cody attacks to start but gets sent to the floor. Barrett rams him into the barricade and gets two off a backbreaker. Wade sends Cody chest first into the corner and hits a slingshot backbreaker for two more. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Cody starts his comeback. He mostly misses the moonsault press but hits a running knee to the jaw for two. The Disaster Kick misses but Barrett’s pumphandle is countered into Cross Rhodes for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: D+. Notice something here: Cody is winning matches and his push is starting to work. Seriously, the solution to getting someone over is to have them win matches. I know that’s completely against WWE’s booking philosophy lately, but it’s true: if you have someone win matches, they’re more likely to get over.

Post match here’s Sandow to talk about how he was the intellect of the Rhodes Scholars. “I saves the unwashed masses and you grew a mustache.” Sandow says he’s from a family of scholars and Cody is from a family of clowns and he doesn’t associate with carny folk.

Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

Kane kicks him down to start but gets caught in a half crab to stop the momentum. The big man easily kicks him off and kicks a charging Bryan’s head off. A suplex gets two for Kane and it’s off to a neck crank. The low dropkick gets two more as the fans try to wake up a bit. Back to the crank but Bryan fights up with strikes. The running clothesline can’t drop Kane but Bryan escapes the chokeslam. He sends Kane to the floor for the knee off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Bryan escaping a chinlock and firing off some kicks in the corner. A dropkick gets two and Bryan fires off the running dropkicks in the corner. Kane comes back with the side slam for two and there’s the top rope clothesline. Bryan escapes the chokeslam and fires off more kicks, only to have Kane grab another chokeslam. Bryan rolls him up into a small package for the pin, like he did to Cesaro last week, at 12:46.

Rating: C. Not bad again here but not much to see. I’m kind of glad this happened on Raw instead of at a big PPV which is what everyone was thinking would happen. That would have been a little too by the book for me which would have hurt the match. Either way, at least Bryan gets another win.

Post match Kane chokeslams Bryan anyway but here come the Wyatts. Kane is surrounded by the monsters but he hits the floor to go right after Bray. The numbers catch up to him though as Wyatt looks on. Harper’s discus lariat puts Kane down and here’s Wyatt in the ring. Sister Abigail lays Kane out and Bray grabs the mic. He’s heard that Kane calls himself the devil’s favorite demon. Kane isn’t a demon though and he needs to watch who he says those things in front of. Follow the buzzards.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Natalya hits a quick snap suplex for two but Brie grabs her in a chinlock. That goes nowhere and a slam puts Brie down. Brie charges into a boot in the corner and a discus lariat puts Brie down for two. Natalya loads up a Boston crab but here’s Nikki with a duck call. The distraction lets Brie get the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D-. Next. That is all.

Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth

Non-title again. Before the match Heyman talks about how aweoms Axel is like only he can. Axel pounds way but Truth hits the release front suplex. The ax kick misses and Axel stays on Truth. The cutter into the neckbreaker looks to end things but here’s Punk to throw the match out at about 2:45.

Post match Heyman runs away as the other guys fight.

Vince tells HHH he’s using reverse psychology on Bryan because he wants someone like HHH to beat Cena. Vince makes jokes about HHH’s age but Stephanie comes in to cool things down. She recommends a corporate makeover. Oh joy.

Ryback vs. John Cena

Tables match. This has been the house show main event for months. Ryback pounds on him to start but Cena clotheslines him out to the floor. The first table is pulled out but Ryback gets in a quick shot to stop Cena. He tries to ram the table into Cena against the post but John moves out of the way. We take a really abrupt break and come back with Ryback in control. Cena escapes the powerbomb on the floor but Ryback rams him into the post to keep momentum.

Ryback sets up the steps and bridges a table between them and the ring. Cena gets in a shot and tries to put Ryback through the table but gets caught in a snap suplex on the floor. Back in and Cena grabs a quick STF but Ryback pulls himself into the ropes, literally forcing a break. Cena throws a table out to the floor but Ryback hides under the ring. He pops out the other side and spears Cena down before setting up an identicle table to steps bridge. One of them is shoved over but Cena can’t get the AA.

Instead Ryback pounds Cena down and tries a gorilla press but Cena slides to the other side of the table. Ryback crushes the table with the steps so Cena picks up a set of his own. They throw the steps at each other and amazingly enough they bounce off each other. Back inside and the ProtoBomb onto the steps puts Ryback down. There’s the Shuffle but Ryback stops him from setting up a table with the over the shoulder Stunner. The table is set up in the corner and the Meat Hook puts Cena down. Ryback loads up another but Cena catches him in the AA through the table for the win at 16:30.

Rating: C+. Match of the night here but that’s not saying much at all. The good thing about having the same match so many times on house shows is you can have a good version of it by muscle memory alone, so the result here was pretty good. A ticked off and violent Ryback works as a villain (assuming he actually wins something one day) so the result was pretty good.

Post match here’s Bryan to take the belt but Cena snatches it back, saying Bryan has to earn this. A YES chant ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show never once got interesting. I’m guessing it’s due to the show being taped, but there was nothing on here to get fired up about at all. It’s like they threw three hours of TV out there and hoped people would get into it at some point. This was very dull and felt like it was eight hours long instead of three.

Results

Shield b. Mark Henry/Usos – Bulldog Driver to Jimmy

Rob Van Dam b. Fandango via countout

Kaitly b. AJ Lee – Spear

Dolph Ziggler b. Big E. Langston via DQ when AJ interfered

Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Small Package

Brie Bella b. Natayla – Rollup

John Cena b. Ryback – AA through a table

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On This Day: July 22, 2001 – InVasion: File This Under Billion Dollar Opportunity Blown

Invasion
Date: July 22, 2001
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,964
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

So this is easily the most requested show since I’ve stated doing the reviews so I might as well get it out of the way. This is the infamous INVASION of the WCW/ECW Alliance. Since I’ve already explained my thoughts on the Invasion as a whole in the Survivor Series 2001 review the talking about it here is going to be somewhat limited but I’m sure I’ll have something to go on and on about in here somewhere.

The main event is the Inaugural Brawl, which is just a big ten man tag. Other than that the card is relatively boring other than Hardy vs. Van Dam for the Hardcore Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Roosevelt and the Nazis and Japanese Army. ARE YOU SERIOUS? Ok, I know Vince likes things big, but this is ridiculous. The logo for the show is this weird hybrid of Shane and Vince’s faces. It’s kind of cool but more creepy.

Mike Awesome/Lance Storm vs. Edge and Christian

Hmm I wonder who is winning here. Edge and Christian’s music cuts Storm off. That’s rather amusing. I’ve always liked Storm so that has something to do with it. Edge is the reigning KOTR at the moment if that means anything to anyone. Christian and Awesome start us off. Storm vs. either of the faces could be most interesting. Edge gets down and Christian goes for a dive over the ropes. He slips though and nearly has a very bad fall.

Odd hearing WWF fans say YOU SCREWED UP. Awesome sans mullet is odd looking to put it mildly. Christian is getting beaten down for the most part here as you would expect. Why you would expect that I’m not sure but it sounded right in my head. Cole is really new at this whole commentary thing at this point and it shows badly. Edge gets the tag and takes out various heels. Edge rams Storm into Christian which would mean something in a few weeks/months.

The rollup only gets two though and we slow down for a bit. The crowd is hot here as they tend to be in Cleveland. Pretty decent tag match here. Awesome sets Edge for a powerbomb but Christian spears Awesome so that Edge falls on top for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: B. Very good choice for an opener here as both teams were trying out there and it showed very well. Edge was getting hot around this time and it would have been a world title reign had a few things gone right. This was fun though and a great opener.

Vince is happy. Regal, in a collared WWF shirt and tights, says Austin is here. He gets Raven later. Well that’s an odd combination if there has ever been one.

We recap the feud between the referees. Yeah it was bad. It results in this.

Earl Hebner vs. Nick Patrick

Of all people, Mick Foley is the referee here. Yeah I don’t get it either but whatever. He’s wearing a Marvel t-shirt so I can’t complain at all. Nick comes out with an army of referees which is just funny looking. Earl does the same. It looks like the world’s weakest gang. Oh and they’re in refereeing gear.

Take a wild guess as to the quality of the work here. Do I need to offer commentary on this one? It’s a glorified lumberjack match. Foley throws out the WCW referees. Earl hits something resembling a spear for the win. Patrick gets in Foley’s face and guess what happens. I think you know the drill.

Rating: N/A. I’m not grading two non-wrestlers like I would grade regular wrestlers.

We recap Debra getting abducted on Smackdown. Debra complains about it. She makes Stephanie look like a great actress. Taker’s wife Sara isn’t much better. She’s attractive though.

We recap the APA vs. Palumbo and O’Haire. It’s tag champions vs. tag champions. Basically the APA called for the WWF locker room to join forces to fight in the war. The WCW Champions jumped them at WWF New York.

APA vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo

No titles on the line here, despite them both being champions of some sort. Dang O’Haire had the look down to a science. So did Palumbo. We get a mention of Kevin Nash. He and DDP were the guys O’Haire and Palumbo beat. Teddy Long informs them they have seven minutes. Oddly enough Farrooq was managed by Long back in the day.

Oddly enough this is a pretty back and forth match. Bradshaw busts out a DDT of all things. Never seen him use that I don’t think. Farrooq gets a standing switch. This is FREAKY. Oddly enough this is pretty back and forth with no one really dominating at all. The Clothesline From JBL ends it. This never got off the ground at all.

Rating: D. Just boring stuff here. You could clearly see there was very little thought put into the matches here. These two teams just were kind of there. It’s not bad I guess, but this could have been on Superstars or something like that. Pretty weak.

Vince is with Jericho in the back and says Vince is the difference between ECW/WCW and WWF. He’s exactly right actually. Oh and Heyman sucks.

Stephanie hates Jericho. WOW her acting reaches new levels of suck. Heyman is sitting in the back and then goes off on Billy Kidman, saying he has to win this next match.

X-Pac vs. Billy Kidman

It’s champion vs. champion again. This is in the X-Factor era. Yeah no one cares AT ALL. Kidman’s music was rather groovy. Pac is total heel here but he’s the face because of the company he’s in. Waltman should be good here though as he’s always good against smaller guys. Scratch that about Waltman being the face. They still hate him. I’ve always liked Cleveland.

Apparently you don’t want to be the first to lose. Dang I thought you always wanted to lose. What was I thinking? They got close to the WCW/NWO issue with the announcers being completely idiotic looking by saying one group was the crowd favorite when they were being booed out of the building. They pick it up a bit with some nice high impact stuff. Pac catches a diving Kidman coming off the top in an X-Factor.

That looked pretty stupid, but I’d think that’s because it’s the stupid X Factor. Bronco Buster is blocked with a boot to the balls. I love alliteration. That sets up the Shooting Star Press for the pin. According to Ross, the Bronco Buster is a high risk move.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great at all. The most interesting thing here was the crowd. The match itself is ok but not bad. Pac was always at his best against small guys and he was far less annoying here. Nothing great but the SSP is always sweet.

DDP babbles about nothing.

Torrie and Stacy try to sound sexy and just fail. They like the Hardys apparently.

William Regal vs. Raven

We get a brief history of Raven’s career, minus Johnny Polo that is which might be his best gimmick. It’s a slugfest to start which Regal is good at. He was very physical around this time and it always came off rather well. His feud with Jericho was a highlight of his career to me. All Regal so far. That forearm to the face that he uses for a cover is great. We get a slingshot as I wonder what the point of this was.

The fans think this is boring and I can’t really say that I disagree. It’s not bad, but this is as basic as you could imagine. They look like they’re both rookies who know very few moves at this point. It’s more or less all punches and clotheslines. They’re crisp and such, but this just isn’t that interesting. You know what it reminds me of? An old SNES wrestling game where you have like 5 moves and everyone has the same set no matter what their size is.

The boring chant is really loud now. You can tell there is no story here at all. Raven gets thrown to the floor and for zero explained reason, Taz runs out and hits a suplex on Regal to allow Raven to hit the DDT for the pin.

Rating: D-. Just like I said before, this was just boring. I have no idea what the point was here but this didn’t come off well. It was just a wrestling match, but with this being a PPV, this wasn’t acceptable for me.

Taker and Kane get a pep talk from Vince. Taker doesn’t like Vince talking about his wife.

Billy Gunn/Albert/Big Show vs. Kanyou/Hugh Morrus/Shawn Stasiak

Again, what in the freaking world is the thought process on this show? It makes no sense at all. This was made on Heat. Oh and Albert is IC Champion here. He’s still in X-Factor and the song is still awesome. Stasiak is using Mr. Perfect’s gimmick, down to the music. It was idiotic. In a cool spot we get a triple press slam from the WWF guys. Gunn and Kanyon start us off. This was Billy Gunn push #2837G.

Kanyon does an odd combination from a Russian legsweep into a Stroke. Nicely done. We get the traditional melee and Albert hits a bicycle (Pump kick that Sheamus uses) kick to Shawn and by hits I mean misses Shawn completely but has it sold anyway. This is pretty much all Albert.

Fameasser hits on Morrus. For you newer fans, Morrus is more commonly known as Bill Demott. Stasiak hits a reverse DDT so Morrus can get the pin. This was a MESS. Show hits chokeslams all around post match. Show debuts the Alley-Oop which he should do more often as it looked pretty cool.

Rating: F+. Just horrid here and I have even less clue what the booking here was supposed to be. This was a weird choice to say the least and I guess it was to showcase the WWF guys but it came off like a bunch of jobbers beat them. Made no sense.

Shane talks to Booker and says the Alliance (not named that yet but close enough) is up 4-3 because of Chavo beating Scotty on Heat. That answered a LOT of questions actually as no one got how later in the Alliance said they had an extra win. I was at a friend’s house watching this and we spent 40 minutes after the show trying to figure it out. We had lists of matches and charts etc going and NO ONE got it. Yeah I’m just killing time now.

Regal fires Tajiri up.

Taz vs. Tajiri

This was the ECW Title match at I think Heat Wave 99 and it was a glorified squash. Apparently Tajiri is popular for staying in the WWF. Ok then. Hey they actually mentioned the Heat Wave match! Sweet I’m not insane. Taz hooks a bunch of suplexes and submissions, which makes me think instantly that Tajiri will win. In at least the last two matches and maybe more, the guy or guys that dominate early loses in the end.

Handspring elbow gets a BIG pop. Didn’t see that one coming. We hit the floor for all of 5 seconds and I’m bored out of my mind. The Tarantula helps that a bit. Tajiri kicks the heck out of Taz for a LONG two. Those kicks are LOUD too. Just as it’s getting good, the mist hits as does a kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. This got really good for like 30 seconds. Other than that though it just wasn’t interesting at all. Again, I don’t get the point in these 5-6 minute matches with zero point to them at all. Could have been a lot worse though.

Jeff and Matt talk about Jeff’s match with Van Dam. Van Dam pops up and cracks the HECK out of Matt with a chair. That sounded great.

Hardcore Holly is at WWF New York and gets on a plant for wearing a WCW shirt.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Why all the TNA on TNA violence? RVD’s outfit is tiger print of all things tonight. He looks like Tony the Tiger in spandex. This should be fun. Hardy isn’t a huge deal yet but he’s in the midcard. Van Dam is WAY over. Crowd is red hot for this as it was more or less the second featured match on the card. Hardy goes for his run the rail spot and Van Dam makes the stop by jumping up on it to stop him. Nice.

Into the crowd now. This is totally sloppy and totally a mess but since it’s a hardcore match, it’s working rather well actually. The crowd is helping it a lot also. Van Dam takes a bow which is a very nice touch. With Van Dam on the apron, Hardy slingshots over the ropes into a powerbomb to the floor. Sweet looking spot and it’s ladder time. This had to happen. In another sick spot, Hardy is on the top of the ladder, and I mean the big one, and is pushed off and crashes to the floor.

This was what gave us the “How do you learn to fall off a 20ft ladder” soundbyte. In another, say it with me, sick spot, Van Dam is crouched but jumps into the air for a Van Daminator that looked GREAT. It knocked Hardy through the hole into the stage to the floor. We’ve reached the part where it’s just them beating the living crap out of each other and the fan are flat out eating it up.

The belt is in the ring as Hardy gets a nice German Suplex. Jeff is bleeding a bit. Swanton misses. With Jeff down, Van Dam puts the belt on Hardy’s chest and hits the 5 Star for the pin. Fun match.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match where you have to consider what was going on out there. This wasn’t meant to be a mat clinic or anything. This was about high impact, high intensity over the top spots and that’s what the fans got. This was fun stuff and the crowd loved it. Great match.

Angle is annoyed for some reason. He says he’ll own the invaders tonight.

We actually have a video package about the bra and panties tag match. Seriously? Short version: Trish and Lita hate each other because of them trying to steal the Hardys from each other. Torrie and Stacy do the same thing. Yeah let’s just get to it. See, the thing they never could get around was that Torrie and Stacy had no talent other than looking good. Trish and Lita at least could fight.

Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Trish Stratus

Mick Foley appoints himself guest referee here again. This was smart if nothing else as it gave a person people actually care about to the match. Torrie and Stacy have weird entrance music. Lita was a legit big deal at the time and was the biggest women’s star more or less since Sable and Sunny. Seriously do you want commentary here? Trish was getting better every day at this point but still wasn’t that good yet.

Stacy gets her top ripped off. Lita has the same done. Trish vs. Torrie now and Trish loses her shirt somewhere. There goes all of Torrie’s clothes. Stacy gets her pants ripped off to end it. Mick picks up the clothes after the match which is funny.

Rating: N/A. Not a wrestling match, so there you go.

Stephanie gives the pep talk. That’s amusing. Heyman takes over which is a major upgrade.

Austin is acting like himself.

We recap this, which started with Shane buying WCW. They finally switched the roles as a face had WCW and a heel had WWF. Then one night Vince said he was tired of this so he said let’s have a match. The five guys he picked were ECW guys, you get the rest. Dreamer and Van Dam debuted that night. Austin had been an idiot since he turned heel so he started being the old Austin again.

More or less he kept saying he wouldn’t be his old self until he said he’d do it. No big moment of clarity or anything. He just changed his mind. Yeah there wasn’t much of a story other than they don’t like each other, but did there need to be? Oh and DDP stalked Taker’s wife. Stephanie being revealed as the ECW owner is one of my favorite moments ever. Oh and Freddie freaking Blassie showed up for a pep talk.

Inaugural Brawl: Team WWF vs. Team WCW/ECW

WWF – Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, Kane, Undertaker

WCW/ECW – Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, Rhyno, Dudley Boys

All three Alliance bosses get entrances. Now Vince gets an entrance. It’s been over 12 minutes since the last match ended and we’re not even to the wrestlers’ entrances yet. So yeah for you trivia buffs, this is the other non-ECW PPV that the Dudley Boys main evented. Kane and Taker were still kind of tag partners at this point but not really. So apparently Taker and Kane are balanced out by the Dudley Boyz? Ok then.

Oh and this is just a ten man tag. No special rules or anything like that. And pay no attention to the fact that both Taker and Kane (albeit as a jobber) used to work for WCW. Rhyno makes it the third ECW guy in a row. Talk about a push that died after this. Next is Jericho, who is about as opposite of Rhyno after this show as you could ask of anyone. Stephanie and Jericho was one of the funniest feuds I can ever remember.

Booker is US and World Champion at this time but he would hand the US Title to Kanyon soon after this. This just feels entirely thrown together. Sting is mentioned on a WWF PPV for likely the only time ever. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music is just hilarious. Angle gets a HUGE pop despite going the wrong way down the ramp.

The level he reached about two months from now was insane. DDP is apparently the biggest deal in the Alliance. Dang did they ever jump the gun here. The 9 mentioned start fighting in the aisle and we have Austin. Notice a certain one sidedness here?

Austin and Rhyno start us off. Austin hits a superplex off the top. Sweet goodness. Jericho gets a NICE pop for the tag. Booker, the only one of the WCW/ECW guys to get a legit push in WWF comes in. Angle gets another great pop. This was after the peak the company had a few months earlier, but it was still a huge deal. This evolves into your standard big time tag match with various people beating on each other with no one really controlling for a ton of time.

DDP hits a Stunner on the top rope on Taker to finally get something resembling control. Austin works on a wristlock on Booker. There’s something you don’t see everyday. We’ve been at this for about ten minutes now and there hasn’t been any long term control. There isn’t much to say here either though as it’s exactly what you would expect it to be. Heyman is awesome at being completely evil when he has to be.

Angle is in some trouble here and the Spinarooni hits. Page hits a spinning powerbomb on Angle which is one of my favorite moves. So after nearly 20 minutes we get to the traditional face in peril sequence of the match. We go old school with Austin getting the tag but the referee didn’t see it. I love things like that. Diamond Cutter on Angle and it gets NO reaction. Cole of course calls it a neck breaker while Ross, 10 seconds after it, says the name right.

And here is the brawl that you knew was coming. Rhyno hits the Gore on Booker and Taker finally gets his hands on DDP again. Chokeslam to Page. Booker and Austin fight on the floor while the WCW referee gets a Last Ride. Taker and DDP go into the crowd while Austin’s knee is messed up after going into the steps. Kane is fighting both Dudleys.

That’s how you can tell Taker is a bigger deal than Kane: when Taker did that, they got their own match. It’s table time. Kane hits a chokeslam through the announce table on D-Von. He got him UP there too. Rhyno and Bubba put Kane through the Spanish Announce Table. Good to see a tradition still alive. Jericho puts Rhyno through the table the Dudleyz set up. Booker and Angle are the only guys still conscious. Oh and Bubba also.

The referee is still looking at Austin’s knee. Yes I’m listing a lot of play by play but you have to here so you know what’s going on. Angle fights off Booker and Bubba with an ankle lock and the Angle Slam, back when it was a good finisher, respectively. And there goes the referee. Cue the finish. Vince grabs the WWF Title and throws it to Angle. Shane gets it though and down goes Vince.

It’s Booker vs. Angle now. Angle hits his pair of finishers on him, Austin throws the referee in, kicks Angle in the head, Stunner, pin, WCW/ECW wins. Austin turned heel again, shocking JR despite him having done the same thing TWO AND A HALF MONTHS EARLIER. Austin and the three Alliance leaders have beers to end the show.

Rating: B. This did something I didn’t think it did: it made the far weaker WCW/ECW team look legit. This was all about making WWF look like they were in danger and it did that. WWF never had the advantage in the whole match until the very end. WCW/ECW controlled this as they should have.

Austin turning heel had to be done given the totally rushed nature of this angle but that’s neither here nor there. The match wasn’t terrible either, so I’d say this was a success. Not a classic or anything, but a success.

Overall Rating: B-. Now think about this for a minute. Yes, most of the matches completely sucked. Actually all but like 3 did. However, this was based around the main event. I don’t recall any other matches other than the hardcore title one being advertised. Oh and Bra/Panties. Other than that, this show wasn’t up to a high quality in the ring because it didn’t need to be.

This was about two things: the main event, and making WCW/ECW look like a threat. Once the PPV ended, no one cared who won the matches or who was even in them. All that mattered was the Alliance won the night and the main event in particular. This definitely isn’t a show you would want to watch for the show itself, but the main thing here is that the huge angle got rolling.

Now to be fair, the angle bombed about as ten times as much as anyone on the planet could have asked it to, but no one knew that at the time. This should have been an angle that went on for at least a year or two, not five months. Anyway, if this was any other show, it would be a C- at best. However, this was a historical show, and as a stand alone show I thought it was successful. On a long term basis though, bad. Like, really bad. Other than for historical issues though, I wouldn’t sit through it.

 

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On This Day: July 9, 2001 – Monday Night Raw: My Favorite Raw

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2001
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re in WCW territory tonight and this is one of my all time favorite Raws, if not my favorite ever period. We’ll get to why later, but I remember watching this and absolutely losing it, which doesn’t happen often. Anyway, this absolutely has to be better than last week’s show. Also tonight, we get our first taste of an official WCW vs. WWF match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a rematch from Smackdown where they actually did ANOTHER WCW Title match with Booker facing Page. Angle came in again but Booker escaped the Angle Slam and beat Angle down. Taker and Page fought to the back and about 6 guys beat Taker down. Shane called them off, so Page beat up Shane and Booker.

Tonight it’s Taker vs. Storm/Awesome. That would be changed.

Shane McMahon vs. Diamond Dallas Page

This is a street fight. And never mind because Undertaker comes out instead of Page. Taker says tonight Page is his. Shane is ok with this so here’s Page.

Undertaker vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page starts fast and pounds Taker in the corner but Taker counters that easily and beats on Page. Here come the chokeslam but Shane turns on Taker (was he with him in the first place?) and saves DDP. This was like a minute long.

Taker fights on the kendo stick shots and fires away on Shane in the corner. Page saves Shane with a chair and Taker is double teamed. Sara comes in with a kendo stick and gets in some shots on Shane but walks into a Diamond Cutter to kill her dead. She gets taken out on a stretcher. What does it say when Sara is better at taking a Diamond Cutter than Kane does?

DDP steals Taker’s motorcycle and Shane gives him the night off.

Taker promises Sara he’ll get Page.

Tag Titles: APA vs. Dudley Boys

Apparently Spike is going to be out for awhile with a broken leg. The APA clears the ring to start and we get down to Bubba vs. Farrooq. Off to Bradshaw as the Dudleys take over. The reverse 3D gets two. D-Von pounds on him and it’s off to Bubba. He goes to the corner for the ten punches but gets powerbombed out and both guys are down. Off to Farrooq and D-Von with Simmons getting a spinebuster for two. 3D doesn’t work but What’s Up does to Farrooq. Bubba goes for a table but Spike comes out, hits Bubba with the crutch and throws him in where Bradshaw’s Clothesline gives the APA their third tag title.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match but I guess the idea here is that if the APA is leading the WWF’s army so give them something to make them seem important. That’s not a terrible idea actually and it’s better than another boring Hardys vs. Dudleys feud for the 7000th time. Not a terrible match and it did its job I guess.

Off to Austin and Vince with Austin repeating everything Vince says. Even the audience is laughing now which is a good thing. Angle comes in wearing a cowboy hat that Austin gave him on Thursday. Angle has presets for everyone except Debra of course. They’re big boxes but they have small sheriff badges in them. Angle’s is a lot bigger and golden to match his medal. Austin goes on a huge rant, quoting The Treasure of Sierra Madre to a nice pop. He calls Kurt a jackass and says that the hat was a joke. Austin tells Kurt to go beat up Booker T for the WCW Title.

Kane is just getting here.

Intercontinental Title: Rhyno vs. Albert

Slugout to start (I’m as shocked as you are) with Rhyno stomping the champ down into the corner. Pac runs in while Albert has the referee and superkicks Rhyno for two. Rhyno manages to get in a shot to buy himself some time and they slug it out for a bit. Belly to back suplex and a top rope splash combine for two. The Gore misses though and the Baldo Bomb is countered. Pac comes in and gets Gored. The distraction lets a bicycle kick keep the title on Albert.

Rating: D+. Back to back power matches probably isn’t a good idea but it wasn’t all that bad. Albert is a guy that was on the roll of his life at this point but soon enough he’d be just another guy in the Alliance war. Not much to see here but they were at least trying to make a new star with him as he beat up various power guys.

Angle goes to talk to Booker. He yells at Book and Mr. T. doesn’t seem that interested or upset by it. Angle challenges him and Booker agrees. Kurt says yippee kay yay Mother Hubbard. Good stuff and I had to listen twice.

Kane goes into Regal’s office so Tajiri hides behind the suit of armor. Regal says that Sara is ok but is being held for observations. Kane says he’ll take Taker’s place in the handicap match against Awesome and Storm.

Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show

Boy this would be a different match today. Show runs him over and we go outside. Here comes Trish and Show accidentally runs into the post. Jeff runs the rail to get in a shot and a missile dropkick puts Show down. Trish is cheering for Jeff. Jeff goes up again but jumps into a powerbomb position. Instead Show drops him back so he lands face first on the mat which is good for the pin. This was nothing again.

Trish kisses Jeff post match.

Kurt is getting ready for Booker and is bent over in front of Austin’s face which is kind of funny. Austin volunteers to be the leader of Team WWF at Invasion. Angle says if he wins the WCW Title, he should be leader. This turns into a discussion of Gilligan’s Island and who gets to be Skipper. Austin goes Bugs Bunny on him to get Angle to say that he (Angle) is Gilligan and Austin is Skipper.

Vince finally asks the question we’re all thinking: what does this have to do with the WCW Title or the Inaugural Brawl??? Speaking of which, Austin and Angle are both in it and Undertaker probably will be also. Jericho comes in to a big pop and says he’s WWF for live. He wants to be on Team WWF. Vince seems intrigued but Austin laughs him off.

Some Atlanta Falcons are here.

At Invasion, it’s Trish/Lita vs. Stacy/Torrie in a tag team bra and panties match.

Matt and Lita are at WWF New York. They don’t know if they can trust Trish but this is for the WWF and she can follow the Lita. Oh geez. They kiss to end this.

Shane fires Booker up.

Vince and Austin fire Kurt up. Austin repeats everything Vince says again. Angle says this is Atlanta and he won with no one in his corner in 1996 so he’ll go alone tonight.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Kurt Angle

Booker hammers him into the corner to start and hits a side kick. Kurt knocks him to the floor with a clothesline and Booker goes into the table. Booker sends him into the post and a missile dropkick gets two back in the ring. Back to the floor and Booker keeps control. Angle reverses an Irish whip back inside and a belly to back suplex slows Booker down but he comes back with a spinning kick for two.

Angle starts snapping off suplexes and a belly to belly looks to set up the Slam. Booker rolls out though and hits the scissors kick. The fans are against Booker now which is a good thing. Kurt charges and they ram heads. Booker gets the advantage and hits a spinebuster for two. Kurt grabs the ankle and there’s the ankle lock. Shane gets the referee so Booker’s tap doesn’t mean anything. Now the Slam hits and Earl Hebner runs in to count two. Now the referees fight and the distraction lets Booker get a belt shot. A seconds WCW referee runs in and Booker retains.

Rating: B-. This is the best match on Raw in weeks and it’s only just above average. Booker and Angle could do some good stuff together with some more time. Amazing what happens when you give two talented guys time and a face and heel combination to work with isn’t it? Good stuff and the referee fight was kind of funny.

Angle rants to Austin and Vince which makes Austin say he’s the leader at Invasion.

Torrie and Stacy say they’ll win at the PPV. Torrie bashes Vince and calls him a dirty old man.

The APA says they don’t want the titles like that and tell the Dudleys they can have another shot as soon as Smackdown. Right now though, cold beers on the APA. The Dudleys say not right now but ask them at the end of the night.

Kane vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome

I thought this match was earlier in the show. I guess not as we’re into the second hour. Before we get started though, here’s Jericho. He doesn’t say anything but comes in and we have a tag match.

Kane/Chris Jericho vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome

The 24/7 Rule has been waived until after Invasion. Why? Kane vs. Awesome starts us off with the bigger man taking over. Jericho comes in and chops away but gets caught by the power of Awesome (how was that never a t-shirt?). Off to Storm and the Thrillseekers get a nice reunion. Awesome hits a knee to the back and Storm clotheslines Jericho down to take over.

Storm comes in and misses a dropkick but he gets the knees up for the Lionsault. Awesome comes in and hooks a chinlock. Jericho fights back but jumps into a belly to belly for two. Back to Storm who stomps away. Was there a reason for him to stomp like that? He always had that little hop to it. Jericho gets an enziguri which is good for the hot tag.

Everything breaks down and Storm is sent to the floor. A powerslam puts Awesome down and there’s the top rope clothesline for two. A missile dropkick takes Storm down but Chris can’t get the Walls on Awesome. He does get them on Storm though, and I’m going to stop the match review there. Storm didn’t tap and the match is still going on, but the next part needs its own attention.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent formula tag match between Team Canada and Team Name That Has To Do With Kane And Jericho. Jericho and Storm always have great chemistry together and this was a fine example of it. Also, how in the world did both companies manage to screw up Mike Awesome? Let him be a mulletted killing machine. Why is that so hard?

Kane sets to chokeslam Awesome but Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam jump the railing and it’s a 4-2 beatdown. Here come the Dudleys, Taz, Raven, Justin Credible and Rhyno. It’s a showdown but the six WWF guys that ran in all turn around and destroy Jericho and Kane. Jericho takes a Death Valley Driver and Kane gets a Van Daminator. The fans are loving this. JR asks Heyman what’s going on so Heyman says listen up.

Heyman gets into the ring with the Dudleys holding the ropes open for him. All of the guys celebrate and Heyman says here’s the truth. He’s been sitting there like a sellout for months and talking about WWF vs. WCW. It seems to him like these men were too extreme for WWF vs. WCW so it seems like Storm and Awesome have left WCW. The other six have left WWF and they all have joined ECW. Heyman says either Vince or Shane can come get some at any time. This Invasion has been taken to the EXTREME. When I saw this, my jaw dropped.

After a break, JR turns into Eric Bischoff and wonders how long he’s had this planned.

Shane and Vince bump into each other and Shane is kind of panicking, saying that their guys should team up for tonight only to crush ECW before it spreads. A twenty man tag is set for later.

Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. X-Pac

This is what we call a filler. Pac is defending and they speed things up to start. Scotty dances around a lot and works on the arm. They go to the floor and Scotty misses a dive. Pac stays on offense for about twenty seconds and Scotty comes back and hits a superkick for two. X-Factor is countered but Pac avoids the Worm. Scotty tries a sunset flip but Pac grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D+. Scotty was actually pretty entertaining around this time when he dropped the whole dancing and Cool aspect of his personality. X-Pac on the other hand was just kind of there and doing his own thing which no one really wanted to see. Nothing to see here and all they were doing was filling time.

Vince and Shane try to fire up their boys but can’t get along. Shane is officially put in charge and the agreement is that once ECW is gone, all bets are off. WCW leaves and Vince says ignore Shane and just do it.

Team WWF/WCW vs. Team ECW

It’s the 10 ECW guys listed earlier for their side. WWF is Big Show/Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly/APA and WCW is Jindrak/Stasiak/O’Haire/Palumbo/Kanyon. WWF and WCW get in a fight before the ECW guys even get here. WCW is sent to the floor and here comes ECW. The ECW guys fight the WWF team and WCW stays on the floor. ECW clears the ring and calls out the WCW guys. And they all hug, officially forming the Alliance. No match obviously.

Vince comes out and wants to know what’s going on. Shane says watch the WWF guys get destroyed. Each one is thrown in and takes various finishing moves (including an F5 to Bradshaw from O’Haire). Shane says he can’t outspend Vince but he can outsmart him. Vince told Shane he was personally responsible for what happens out here and that’s true.

He’s responsible for ECW being here tonight and for the merger of WCW and ECW. Vince’s jaw is further into the Earth’s crust with every word. At Invasion, it’s the two companies against WWF. Oh, and here’s the new owner of ECW: Daddy’s Little Girl, Stephanie McMahon. The place ERUPTS at that. Vince’s eyes roll back in his head and here’s Stephanie, looking drop dead gorgeous in a pink dress. I think that’s why I loved this show when I was 13. Shane and Stephanie pose to end the show. Now THAT is how you end a TV show.

Overall Rating: B. This show depends on what you’re looking for. If it’s wrestling, you’ll probably be a bit disappointed. If you’re in it for drama and something that makes you want to watch next week, this is the show for you! When I was a kid this was an awesome moment and I loved it, but unfortunately it didn’t quite live up to the hype. Still though, I was glued to the screen on Thursday and Monday for awhile, which is the idea. Good stuff here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




On This Day: July 8, 2011 – Smackdown: Back When It Was Good

Smackdown
Date: July 8, 2011
Location: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

 

 

This was taped last week but for Smackdown that’s not going to change anything from the norm. Tonight we get some fallout from last week with Sheamus interjecting himself into the main event scene to end the show. Other than that we’ll probably be building up to Money in the Bank with some more stuff between the ladder match guys. Let’s get to it.

 

 

We open with a recap of the ending of last week’s show where Orton signed the contract but before Christian did, Sheamus returned and beat both guys up and ripped up the contract.

 

 

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a really bad sunburn.

 

 

Most of the MITB guys are in the ring but I only see seven right now. Sheamus is missing I believe. Everyone gets to say something. Bryan says he’s excited and nervous because he’s wanted to be world champion since he was a little kid. Cody cuts him off and says it’s because Bryan is a common man incapable of the things exceptional people do. Cody is one of those exceptional people. Once he wins the title everyone will have to swallow their pride and look him in the eye.

 

 

Barrett says he’s tired of hearing about what everyone else has done. He starts listing off his accomplishments but here’s Sheamus with a chair. He cracks almost everyone with it and clears the ring. Sheamus says he’ll win and cash in on Orton when he beats Christian. He’s going to get Orton tonight though, because of getting punted last month. Here’s Christian who asks if Sheamus thinks he can’t beat Orton. Sheamus calls him a scrawny, malnourished, googly eyed homely weasel.

 

 

Christian points out that he beat Sheamus a few weeks ago before Orton punted Sheamus. He’ll also be world champion after MITB. There’s a clause in the contract, saying that if Orton gets disqualified or if there’s bad officiating, Christian is automatically world champion. Christian calls him Ronald McDonald and asks if he can even read a contract. Sheamus throws the chair at him and here’s Teddy. Orton vs. Sheamus is the main event. Really solid opening segment here as Sheamus looked fired up and intimidating. I’m liking this three way feud a lot and they’re running it perfectly.

 

 

Clip of the first MITB match with Edge winning and cashing in about 9 months later.

 

 

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Daniel Bryan/Ezekiel Jackson

 

 

Booker gets a bag again. DiBiase and Bryan start us off with DiBiase not being able to do much. Off to Jackson who is part of the Fave Five of Booker. We actually get the full list: McIntyre, Jackson, Sheamus, Barrett, Cara and a dark horse in Ryder. The good guys clear the ring and send Cody to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan firing off kicks to Cody in the corner.

 

 

Cody avoids a charge in the corner and backdrops Bryan onto the corner and catches him in an Alabama Slam for two. It’s off to DiBiase who keeps the advantage and hits a chinlock. Back off to Cody who uses his old school style to dominate even more. DiBiase chokes some more. Cole picks Wade Barrett to win MITB. Bryan gets a boot up in the corner and Josh picks Sin Cara, the same as Booker. Hot tag to Big Zeke who gets a nice reaction. He starts slamming people and Racks DiBiase but it’s broken up by a Beautiful Disaster and Dream Street gets the pin at 6:45 shown of 10:15.

 

 

Rating: C+. Pretty basic tag match here but for the love of all things good and holy Vince, why do you think midcard champions always have to lose? He won the title and then beat Barrett a second time and now he’s lost to Rhodes (not that bad) and then to DiBiase. Why in the world would that be something they’d think is smart? I don’t get why midcard champions are booked into the ground so often anymore but it’s getting annoying.

 

 

Video on Mark Henry and his domination as of late.

 

 

Striker tells Henry he’s facing potential fines, suspensions and criminal charges after what he did last week. Henry breathes a lot.

 

 

Jinder Mahal vs. Trent Barreta

 

 

During Mahal’s entrance we hear about some empire he’s built up and we don’t hear anything about his wife/Khali’s sister. Are they already changing the story? Anyway Khali sits in on commentary (you read that right) and actually speaks some English now. Total squash in the ring and the full nelson slam ends it at 1:04. The camera was on Khali more than the match. Post match Cole mentions the story we got last week.

 

 

Sheamus says his recent rampage is an Irish thing.

 

 

AJ vs. Tamina

 

 

Cole: “Hopefully this doesn’t put me to sleep like a Harlem Heat match.” Josh: “Tell me you didn’t just say that.” AJ has different hair now as it’s a bit lighter and a bit wavier. Natalya and Alicia are at ringside. Cole bashes Natalya for most of the match as Tamina dominates with an Umaga hip smash to the face. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. AJ fights back and hits a Shining Wizard for two. Tamina misses a splash in the corner and AJ gets a rollup for the pin at 2:28.

 

 

Alicia yells at Tamina post match.

 

 

Mark Henry vs. Kane

 

 

Kane looks terrified but hammers away to start. Henry runs him over but Kane gets three dropkicks, two to the knees and a seated one to the chest, for two. Top rope clothesline is caught in a belly to belly for two. Henry stands on the chest for a bit and Kane is in trouble. The big fried freak fires off a right hand and the crowd is surprisingly into this. Big boot puts Henry down for two.

 

 

Kane goes up again and this time the clothesline hits. He loads up the chokeslam but Henry breaks out of it and headbutts Kane. A second attempt at the chokeslam hits but Henry gets his foot on the ropes. Out to the floor and Kane tries a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up, ramming Kane into the post. Back inside a splash gets two. Mark is all ticked off now and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 5:52.

 

 

Rating: C. For a battle of the big men this was fine. They kept it relatively short which is the right idea for sure. If they want Henry to be taken as a big threat, this is the kind of win he needs. Kane is still someone with credibility and Henry beating him clean by just overpowering him is a good thing for him. I still don’t get the appeal or point of pushing Henry but it’s his every other year push so it’s to be expected.

 

 

Henry yells at the announcers post match.

 

 

Orton says he doesn’t care what the contract says because he’s going to win with the RKO. As for Sheamus, he’ll have to defend the title against him eventually but as for tonight, good luck to him.

 

 

Video of Miz winning MITB last year.

 

 

Tyson Kidd vs. Sin Cara

 

 

There go the lights again. Kidd grabs an armbar to take him down almost immediately. Cara speeds things up and hits an armdrag to send Kidd to the floor. Cara tries a dive or something similar to one, only to get his head slammed into the apron. Back inside Cara hits a slingshot corkscrew splash for two. Off to a chinlock by Kidd as the fans chant for Cara. Kidd keeps countering Cara’s moves and it’s working pretty well. He tries a springboard elbow but Cara gets the knees up to block it.

 

 

Cole says his name would be Billy the Kid if he was a superstar. Booker and Josh are quiet for a bit and then laugh at him. Cara starts his comeback and gets a victory roll into a sunset flip for two. Kidd kicks him down and goes up, only to get dropped onto the buckle. They go up again and the C4 off the top ends this at 4:16.

 

 

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here as I didn’t notice any botches which is a change for Cara. Granted they may have been edited out but that’s the perk of a taped show. Anyway not bad here and Cara is starting to get better slowly but surely as he’s having more coherent matches rather than just doing random spots. Good stuff.

 

 

Teddy is asked if he’s intimidated by Henry and won’t answeron.

 

 

Video on Ezekiel Jackson.

 

 

Usos vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

 

 

The matches are good but we’ve seen this how many times now? The Usos do their dance thing on the way to the ring. Jey has a tattoo on his chest apparently so he starts us off with Gabriel. Slater comes in rather quickly and takes Jey down as the crowd is more or less silent. Booker talks about the Fave Five again and it’s already annoying. Gabriel comes in and gets two before hitting a headlock. After some silence on commentary, Booker randomly says that no one likes Cole.

 

 

Double big boot puts both guys down as Jimmy tries to get the crowd back to life. It’s not really working but points for trying at least. Off to Jimmy vs. Slater with Jimmy being labeled as the powerhouse. Bubba Bomb puts Slater down as Booker says they both need gain another hundred pounds or so. Samoan Drop gets two on Slater. Slater manages to take him down with something like a Zig Zag and it’s off to Gabriel. He wants the 450 but Slater gets kicked into the ropes to crotch Justin. We get Power and Glory’s old finisher (superplex/top rope splash combo) to end Gabriel at 3:32.

 

 

Rating: C+. Another fine match but again, we’ve seen this how many times now? The teased tension between the former Nexus/Corre is what you would expect as they’ve been a successful team long enough so it’s time to split them in a feud that not many people want to see. Anyway this was fine and it’s cool to see the Usos have an actual finisher.

 

 

Johnny Curtis is at a table with a bunch of birthday stuff on it. He takes the cake. Debut him already and get it over with.

 

 

We get an abbreviated version of Cena and Vince from Raw.

 

 

We run down the MITB card. Henry vs. Show is official.

 

 

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

 

 

Christian vs. Orton has been signed apparently and the Canadian is on commentary here. Orton fires away in the corner and Sheamus is in trouble. Pretty basic back and forth stuff here as Orton counters some Sheamus offense with a dropkick. He loads up the punt but Sheamus hits the floor. Back in Orton hits his way too enthusiastic Thesz Press and they slug it out to the floor.

 

 

Orton gets reversed into the railing and part of the wall falls down. Elevated DDT is blocked and Orton goes shoulder first into the post and back out to the floor. Christian goes after Orton but Sheamus stops him. Orton goes into the post again as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a DDT to the arm for two. Orton makes a brief comeback but takes a knee to the ribs to put him right back down.

 

 

Randy makes his comeback and uses his regular stuff including the scoop powerslam. He adds something new to the arsenal with a belly to belly suplex for two. Sheamus gets a kick to the knee and pulls himself up to the top for a shoulder block for two. Irish Curse gets two. Brogue Kick and RKO are countered and Orton hits the backbreaker. Not that it matters as Christian comes in for the DQ at 8:24 shown of 11:54, giving Orton the win.

 

 

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything but compared to the stuff these two were putting on in 2010, their recent stuff has been a miracle. I was thinking Sheamus would win MITB and then cash in at the end of the night but now I’m not so sure. Either way, not a bad match here and fine for a TV main event.

 

 

Post match Sheamus lays out Christian but walks into an RKO to leave Orton standing tall to close the show.

 

 

Overall Rating: B. While a step down from last week this was still good stuff. The key thing to Smackdown is they don’t waste time. Everything they do is either advancing a story, in ring action or promoting one of their wrestlers. This show was no exception as everything on here had a point, which is rare in today’s wrestling product. Anyway good show but not as good as last week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




Monday Night Raw – July 8, 2013: Follow The Buzzards To An Excellent Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 8, 2013
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is a pretty stacked show tonight. First and foremost, THEY’RE HERE! Tonight is the debut of the Wyatt Family who have been sending creepy messages to the company for months now. Other than that we have the job performance evaluation of Vickie Guerrero, meaning all of the bosses of the company will be in one place at the same time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Wyatt Family vignette, saying we’re coming.

Opening sequence.

Vickie and Brad are in the ring with a ladder and a referee to open the show. She talks about how important the ladder has been to the WWE’s history with people like Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon and HHH. To her it represents her climbing up the corporate ladder over her career. If she falls, she’s holding the fans responsible. Vickie goes up top of the ladder and compares WWE to companies like IBM and GE. She’s done everything on her own for years and has done her best to entertain the people. From the top of the ladder to the bottom of her heart, everything she’s done has been for the people.

Jerry Lawler of all people cuts her off and says EXCUSE ME? Lawler has received word that in preparation of the job evaluation tonight, the McMahons and HHH are taking in all factors, including the WWE Universe. There’s a poll on the WWE App where you can give her a pass or fail grade as managing supervisor.

Vickie says she considers the WWE Universe like her family, meaning they have good and bad days. At the end of the day though, they’ll have her back right? What sounds like Vince’s voice is heard saying “Please don’t fall Vickie.” but it sounded like something we weren’t supposed to hear. Tonight it’s Cena vs. Henry face to face, along with Christian vs. Kane, Punk vs. Orton and Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan. Dang this is a packed show. Sheamus vs. Bryan is RIGHT NOW.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus grabs a headlock to start before taking Bryan down with a shoulder block. They hit the ropes with Bryan nipping up and knocking Sheamus down with a clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest but Sheamus comes back with the Irish Curse for two. They fall out to the floor with Bryan trying the running knee to the face but being caught in mid air and dropped into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Bryan backflipping over Sheamus in the corner but charging into another Irish Curse for two. A back elbow gets two more for Sheamus and the rolling senton puts Bryan down again. The Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus tumbles to the floor, setting up the FLYING GOAT to put both guys down again. Back in and the missile dropkick gets two for Bryan but he kicks Sheamus to the apron, allowing Sheamus to hit the ten forearms.

Sheamus gets crotched while loading up the top rope shoulder but blocks a top rope hurricanrana, allowing him to hit the shoulder for two. Bryan avoids a charge in the corner and hits a big kick to Sheamus’ head for two, but the following Swan Dive misses and both guys are down. Back up and Bryan fires off more kicks followed by a crucifix for two. Bryan tries to transition into the NO Lock but Sheamus counters into the Cloverleaf, which Bryan counters into a small package for the pin at 14:10.

Rating: B. This right here is a great example of why I hated the Sandow feud. Sheamus can have some AWESOME matches when he isn’t toying with someone five levels below him. Bryan’s rocket push continues as Sheamus is someone that almost never loses a match anywhere. When’s the last time he was pinned clean? December against Big Show I believe? Great match here.

They shake hands post match.

WWE has sent someone to the bayou to find the Wyatt Family compound.

AJ tells Langston to be worried about Kaitlyn but Langston laughs it off. Ziggler pops in and wants to talk to her in private. He wants to know why she’s never out there for his matches anymore and is following Kaitlyn for some reason. AJ says she’ll do anything to be the power couple they’re destined to be but Ziggler doesn’t seem sure. AJ seems to offer sex but Ziggler wants the world title instead. Everything seems ok though.

We get the same career retrospective on Mark Henry that we got last week.

We look at RVD vs. Eddie Guerrero from Raw in 2002.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Tons of Funk

Brodus slams Rollins down to start before bringing in Tensai for a double chop. A delayed butterfly suplex gets two on Rollins before it’s back to Brodus who misses a cross body. Off to Reigns who takes Brodus’ head off with a clothesline for two. We get a McGuire Twins reference from JBL (they were a tag team who weighed a combined 1500lbs or so) as Reigns puts on a chinlock.

Roman pounds on Brodus as the match continues to go longer than it should. Reigns tries a Samoan Drop but Brodus slips down the back into a rollup for two. Brodus hits a belly to back suplex to escape and makes the tag off to Tensai. The bald one cleans house and hits the rolling senton in the corner followed by the Baldo Bomb for two on Rollins. Seth ducks under a charge and Rollins spears Tensai down for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: D+. This started very slow but the hot tag to Tensai picked things way up. The JBL commentary with old references was very entertaining but it went over the heads of most of the fans which is a shame. Other than that though there wasn’t much of note here, as there was no way Shield was losing six days before a title defense.

The reporter has found Wyatt Family members Luke Harper and Erick Rowan (the guy in the mask) and seems to be kidnapped by Harper.

Here’s Cena for the showdown with Henry. He sucks up to the crowd by saying it sounds like Money in the Bank is tonight. Cena is here to face Mark Henry but there’s no Henry. Cue the big guy who says that he’s starving for something. Cena makes a Snickers joke but Henry says he’s not going to respond to something like that. Instead he’s going to chill because he’s a different man now.

He’s known who Cena is for years and he’s a puppet. That title will validate Henry’s career and will make him a first ballot Hall of Famer. He’d sell out his mama to have that title. Cena says Henry better win on Sunday then because he sees a desperate man in Henry. If Henry doesn’t win it, he loses everyone’s respect and seventeen years will have been wasted. Henry cracks up because he doesn’t care what the people think. People love Cena or they hate him but Henry doesn’t care.

There are lines that Cena won’t cross because of who he is, but Cena takes the hat and shirt off and draws a line with his foot. Henry says not for free, because he’ll get Cena on Sunday, but then he takes his shirt off anyway. Mark goes towards Cena but stops and says he’ll see Cena Sunday. Henry charges again and runs over Cena but John tries an AA. The weight is too much though and he lands on the champ’s head, knocking him out. Henry picks him up and hits the World’s Strongest Slam before posing with the title.

Orton says he’ll win the MITB contract on Sunday and would have no problem cashing in on Cena if he was laid out like he was moments ago.

Miz is on commentary for the next match.

 

Curtis Axel vs. Chris Jericho

 

Non title here. Heyman has sunglasses due to a bad black eye at the hands of Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown. Axel says that Jericho wears a jacket with Christmas lights on it but neither he nor Miz is standing in the way of perfection. Jericho quickly dropkicks him to the floor and hits a baseball slide to take the champion down. Back in and Axel kicks Jericho down as we take a break.

 

Back with Jericho fighting back but not being able to hook the Walls. A northern lights suplex gets two for Chris and a high cross body gets the same. Axel comes back with a swinging neckbreaker for two but Jericho bulldogs him down and gets two off the Lionsault. The Codebreaker is countered into a PerfectPlex for a VERY close two as Heyman is beside himself.

 

Jericho hooks the Walls (BIG pop for that) but Axel quickly makes it to the rope. Axel is knocked off the apron and into the announce table, drawing Miz to his feet. Heyman gets his client back inside before the countout but he walks into the Codebreaker for the pin at 10:14, his first loss as a Heyman Guy.

 

Rating: C+. Good match here and at least the ending wasn’t clean. I don’t like having the champion lose here after the bad luck the champions have had over the previous few months but that’s life in the WWE anymore. The match was good though and having Axel rub elbows with top level guys is going to do nothing but good for him.

 

We look at RVD winning the IC Title on Raw from Christian in 2003.

 

Sandow keeps cutting Rhodes off from talking about MITB. Colter, Cesaro and Swagger come in to say the country is in trouble. They don’t seem pleased with Sandow but Colter says the son of an American Dream should know better. Barrett comes in and says he’s winning but Colter says Barrett doesn’t speak English. Fandango comes in but everyone cuts off the catchphraase in a funny bit. He goes to say it anyway so Barrett drops him with a Bull Hammer.

Back to the Bayou where Harper takes the cameraman inside, telling him not to stray. The compound is very dark but we find Bray Wyatt himself, who says he’s been waiting for us. Creepy stuff man.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

The colored lights are back which don’t fit for a match with the World Heavyweight Champion involved. Del Rio takes him into the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Cara to get two off a kick to the face. Cara goes up but gets caught with a running enziguri for two. Del Rio hits another running enziguri in the corner for two more and it’s off to an armbar by the champion.

Cue Ziggler (and the regular lighting) and Cara gets two off a rollup. Ziggy says that he’s sorry for what he did to Ricardo but he’s going to introduce Del Rio the way he should be introduced. The match keeps going as Ziggler makes small genitals jokes. Cara gets two off a slingshot senton but walks into a German suplex. A LOUD superkick puts Cara down but Del Rio finally goes after Ziggler for the brawl. Sin Cara hits a big dive to take Alberto out as the match ends at about 5:00.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for how loud Del Rio’s kicks were. I don’t see why they couldn’t have Del Rio get the win here as it’s not like Sin Cara is doing anything right now. Ziggler is still lacking that big moment to solidify his face turn but he’s getting closer. The announcing wasn’t funny but then again most things in WWE aren’t anymore.

It’s time for the job evaluation. The trio of judges sit in front of Vickie as she pleads her case for why she should stay. She talks about getting rid of crazy AJ and takes credit for RVD, Rock and Undertaker all returning. Stephanie says Vickie had nothing to do with those returns so Vickie talks about Brock, before apologizing for Lesnar attacking Vince and HHH.

Vince stands up and says bringing Lesnar back was a genius move. He believes that Vickie is highly entertaining but she’s made some boneheaded decisions in the name of good entertainment. HHH says Vickie can be unintentionally entertaining but she’s terrible at her job. For instance a few weeks ago she was promoting the WWE video game but the people were booing her out of the building. Vince might think it’s entertaining, but Vince’s thoughts on entertainment aren’t all that modern. “It’s why the Golden Girls aren’t on TV anymore.”

HHH sucks up to the fans and says they want and deserve better than Vickie Guerrero. He does give her one point: she has the most annoying voice in the history of broadcast television. Vince praises her for breaking through the male dominated glass ceiling and thinks she should be permanent GM. HHH speaks up again and says the whole point of this is Vince is going to do what he wants, including putting a spineless puppet like Vickie in power.

HHH says Stephanie should get to decide Vickie’s fate and Vince agrees. Both guys suck up to her (“Daddy’s little girl!” “The mother of my children and the woman that has to go home for me after this.”) but Stephanie says the answer will be decided by the WWE App vote. The results say Vickie failed by a margin of 75% to 25%, meaning Vickie is fired. Vickie rants about how you can’t trust the people and how she’s not a spineless puppet. Stephanie fires her and Vickie goes into evil mode.

She falls to her face and screams a lot as the fans chant NO MORE VICKIE. Vickie crawls onto the table and shouts that the McMahons need her in charge. Vince stays in the ring and asks the people if they’re happy. He blames the fans for failing and throwing away the most entertaining GM in Raw history. We need a new GM and that will be…..Brad Maddox. Oh joy. Maddox is shocked and stands still in the ring as Vince helps Vickie out.

Post break Vickie is crying and Vince says he’ll make it right somehow. Maddox comes up and thanks Vince for the opportunity but Vince won’t shake his hand. Vince asks Brad how long he’ll hold his hand out for but Vickie goes after Brad and says get out of his life. The new GM runs off. Vince: “You ruined my jacket!”

Kane vs. Christian

Kane shoves Christian around to start and hits a hard whip into the corner. The Canadian escapes a powerslam and snaps Kane’s neck over the top rope. A middle rope dropkick gets two as the commentators rattle off MITB stats. They head to the floor for a big dive off the top from Christian as we take a break. Back with Christian hitting a tornado DDT out of the corner for two. An uppercut puts Christian down but the top rope clothesline misses. Christian charges into the chokeslam out of nowhere for the pin at 7:42.

Rating: D+. Screw the reason because THEY’RE HERE.

Wyatt pops up on the screen and says that he has brothers, not followers. It’s time for the people to stand up and realize what’s going on. He’s seen it all in his dreams his thoughts and he understands that this is the end instead of the beginning. He lights a lantern and says we’re here before blowing the light out.

Back in the arena the lights are out and the Family’s music starts playing. Wyatt walks out with a lantern and sits down in what is presumably his rocking chair. The lights come up and Harper/Rowan (not yet named) are attacking Kane. They’re big guys who can look Kane in the eye and pound him down. They get him to the floor and send him into the steps before crushing Kane’s head between the steel. Wyatt gets in Kane’s face and says what sounded like down with the machine. The fans chant Husky Harris because they have to think they’re smart.

Vickie carries out her box of stuff but runs into Ryback. He puts the box on the floor and hugs her, saying it’s going to be ok.

The Bellas are on commentary for the next match.

AJ Lee/Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn/Layla

Layla starts by throwing kicks at Alicia as the Bellas insult AJ. A quick rollup gets two for Layla as the Bellas basically bury the entire Divas division. Kaitlyn goes after AJ and they head to the floor where Kaitlyn hits a SWEET spear to knock AJ out cold. The match is stopped at about 2:00.

Punk wants to know if he’s best in the world because he held the title for 434 days or did he hold the title for 434 days because he’s the best in the world.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start as the fans are split down the middle. Orton runs him over with a shoulder block and a sweet dropkick takes Punk down. Punk comes back with a suplex for two as the dueling chants begin again. The Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head to send Orton to the floor. The suicide dive takes Orton down again as we take a break.

Back with Orton holding a chinlock and taking Punk down with a t-bone suplex before he can make a comeback. We hit the chinlock again but Punk fights up and hits a quick dropkick to put Orton down. Orton comes back with his clotheslines but Punk avoids the powerslam and gets two off a rollup. A neckbreaker puts Randy down again and there’s the running knee in the corner. The Macho Elbow connects for no cover but it’s GTS time. Orton shoves Punk through the ropes for the Elevated DDT but can’t follow up with a cover.

Orton loads up the RKO but Punk blocks, only to be caught in the snap powerslam for two. Punk escapes ten punches in the corner and hits another running knee to the chest but Orton escapes the GTS. The RKO is blocked by a high kick to the head and it’s a GTS for the clean pin at 13:41.

Rating: B-. Another good match to close out the show here with Punk looking strong. Orton doesn’t lose a thing by getting pinned here as it’s all about climbing on Sunday. This was your usual battle of the superstars formula and it worked as well as you would have expected it to. These two always have solid chemistry together.

Post match Bryan runs out and beats up Punk before hitting Orton with a ladder. He climbs up and grabs the case to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I had a blast with this show tonight and it absolutely flew by. We had good to great matches all night, the AMAZING Wyatt Family debut, a solid build to the PPV on Sunday, that wicked spear from Kaitlyn, the reaction from Maddox when he was named GM, the funny Fandango segment and Layla in some of the smallest shorts in recorded history. WWE is on a roll right now and this was one of the best shows they’ve had in a long time. I’m fired up for MITB and I never came close to that for Payback or Extreme Rules.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus – Small Package

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Tons of Funk – Spear to Tensai

Chris Jericho b. Curtis Axel – Codebreaker

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara went to a no contest

Kane b. Christian – Chokeslam

Alicia Fox/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Layla went to a no contest

CM Punk b. Randy Orton – GTS

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




On This Day: July 3, 2012 – Smackdown: They Call This Great?

Smackdown
Date: July 3, 2012
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

It’s another live show here and in this case it’s the Great American Bash. The main event tonight is a 20 man battle royal with the winner getting to be GM next week on Friday. That’s up in the air and only offers a few interesting options, which means one of them is likely going to win. These shows are very hit and miss so hopefully this is the former of the two. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with a big party. There are girls in small outfits, Hornswoggle in the tub and Teddy in a Kiss the GM apron. Eve is going to be the cleaning lady tonight. Santino is brought forward to light the barbecue to officially start things off. Teddy and Santino back off from lighting it as Kane is here. He lights the fire for them in a cute bit.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is having guests that are going to keep me from seeing Dark Knight Rises for another week.

Cole says he’s going to get inside AJ’s head tonight.

Here’s Del Rio to open the show. He’s going to talk about himself, namely his match at MITB with Sheamus. Sheamus is going to be sent back to Ireland because he’s just like all these people: a hooligan trying to take advantage of people like Del Rio. Alberto came here legally and is making money both here and in Mexico, unlike everyone here. He wants to send everyone here to the place where they belong, so he asks to see some people’s papers. One guy doesn’t have them so Alberto asks for security to take him out. The guy says this is Texas, not Arizona.

Cue Sheamus for the save and they brawl in the aisle. The champ throws Del Rio off the stage and into the barricade a few times. Ricardo keeps trying to help and eventually it allows Del Rio to kick Sheamus in the head. Ricardo opens the hood and Del Rio slams it down onto Sheamus’ back over and over.

Post break we look at most of the attack all over again. Sheamus is taken out and has some blood coming down his head.

Great Khali/Layla vs. Aksana/Antonio Cesaro

This is punishment from Teddy because he’s a sore loser. The guys start and it’s time for a chop in the corner to Cesaro. Khali misses a big boot and Antonio takes him down in the corner. Khali throws him aruond some more and it’s off to the girls. Layla isn’t exactly Trish or Lita but she’s by far the better in ring worker of the two here. Cesaro breaks up a cover and is thrown to the floor. Layout gets the pin at 1:45, and that means Layla pinned Aksana in case you can’t figure out that LAYla uses the LAYout and you can’t check the results below if you’re not sure.

Cody brags about having another qualifying match later tonight but Teddy informs him that it’s against Christian. Cody isn’t happy.

Raw Moment: Foley wins the title. They spend about as much time talking about WCW spoiling it and 600,000 people changing the channel than about the title change itself.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cody Rhodes vs. Christian

Non-title. The idea is that Cody has never beaten Christian so he’s in over his head here. Cody sends him to the apron and hits a Disaster Kick for two. Rhodes looks at the case a lot and we take a break. Back with Cody holding a hammerlock before hitting a release gordbuster for two. Christian comes back with a middle rope missile dropkick and gets fired up.

He slingshots to the floor and uppercuts Cody followed by a running seated dropkick. Top rope cross body gets two for the champ. Cody’s Alabama Slam is countered into a sunset flip for two. He goes to unhook the buckle but Christian grabs him with a reverse DDT for two. The spear is countered but Cody misses the Disaster Kick. Killswitch is countered into the Cross Rhodes for the completely clean pin at 9:12.

Rating: C+. Well that was kind of anti-climactic. Naturally there was NO ONE that Cody could beat other than Christian to qualify right? I mean, there was no one else that could job out there other than a champion. The match was good but it makes the title look weak again which they had been changing for awhile.

Backstage Ryder starts a dance party after Slater is run off. Brodus takes center stage.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alex Riley

Riley immediately hits a great dropkick for a fast two. Ziggler DDTs him down for a fast two and takes over. Riley makes a fast comeback with a clothesline in the corner and a spinebuster for two. The crowd continues to be into Riley which is interesting. Inverted DDT is countered but Ziggler’s Stinger Splash misses, giving Riley a rollup for a close two. Zig Zag gets the pin at 2:28.

Cole is in the ring to interview AJ. That theme song of hers’ is catchy. Cole says he’s fair and balanced, unlike AJ who is clearly unbalanced. We get a long video recapping everything AJ did last night. Cole cuts her off and says AJ wasn’t thinking. He calls her a teenager (she’s 25) and asks if she’s ever thought about pursuing a real man. One with power and influence and a former war correspondent who became the voice of the WWE.

Cue Bryan before this gets too weird. He calls Cole a sexist and says AJ didn’t mean for him to go through a table last night. It was all a misunderstanding. Cue Punk who angrily throws Cole out. He says AJ did something last night that directly affected both Bryan and himself last night. Punk isn’t going to pretend it didn’t happen just because AJ is guest referee. She’s not in a good place mentally and maybe some of that is Punk’s fault. Punk says AJ needs professional help but Bryan cuts him off.

Bryan says that Punk is trying to be tricky because AJ is the guest referee. The only thing Punk cares about is having AJ as guest referee because he needs her to retain the title. AJ kisses Bryan for awhile and Punk shakes his head and leaves. She goes after him and kisses him too. Bryan looks stunned and Punk looks confused. AJ skips off and does a YES chant on the stage.

Santino Marella/Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Hunico/Camacho/Drew McIntyre

Camacho and Slaughter start things off and it’s quickly off to Santino. He gets in trouble in the evil dirty foreign corner and Drew pounds away a bit. A slam is countered and it’s hot tag to Duggan. There’s the Three Point Clothesline but everything breaks down. The ring is mostly cleared and the Cobra gets the pin on Hunico at 2:25.

Back to the party where Little Jimmy is jumping up and down. Sandow comes in and unplugs the cord. He says this isn’t what our founding fathers fought for. Ryder gets in his face but Sandow has a speech ready. A fight breaks out with the people chanting Ryder. Zach gets the punch bowl but it goes onto Eve. Everyone laughs at her and it’s time to keep dancing.

Hawkins and Reks both think they can beat Ryback but Hawkins won the coin toss and gets to face him.

Ryback vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins tries a sleeper but gets caught in the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder. Ryback slams his head into the mat and hits an overhead choke suplex. Hawkins gets his head taken off by a clothesline and the Shell Shock gets the pin at 1:08.

Sheamus is out of the battle royal tonight.

Raw Moment: Vince Appreciation Night. Donald Trump made it rain money.

Here’s Teddy to thank the fans for letting him be the GM this week.

Battle Royal

Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Heath Slater, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Big Show, Great Khali, Brodus Clay, Damien Sandow, Tensai, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Zach Ryder, Santino Marella, Cody Rhodes, Christian

Only the big names get entrances as per usual. At the moment I’m probably missing some names but i’ll fill them in as we go. Show throws out Justin and Brodus quickly. A bunch of people team up to throw out Khali. I’m missing one guy but I’m not sure if Sheamus was replaced or now. Ryder knocks out Sandow and Cody throws out Santino. Oh Christian is #20. Show shoves out Kofi and Cody as we take a break.

Back with ten guys to go as Bryan and Punk slug it out. Bryan stands in front of the ropes and Punk charges at him, eliminating both guys. Ok so we have Kane, Ziggler, Cena, Christian, Del Rio, Tensai, Ryder and Big Show to go. Big Show chokeslams Cena but Kane chokeslams Big Show. Tensai goes after Kane and pounds him into the corner. Cena erupts and beats up everyone before tossing Del Rio. Kane takes an AA but Tensai slows Cena down.

Christian and Ryder work on Big Show but that gets them nowhere. Cena dumps Tensai but Show dumps Cena immediately thereafter. So it’s Big Show, Ryder, Christian, Ziggler and Kane. Show spears Ryder down and easily tosses out Christian to get us down to four. Ziggler puts Show in the sleeper but Kane kicks Show in the head to put them both out.

It’s Ryder vs. Kane now which isn’t the pairing I was expecting. Kane pounds him down but runs into the corner knees and the Broski Boot. Ryder tries the Rough Ryder because he’s not that bright, but he escapes the chokeslams and low bridges Kane for the elimination and the win at 10:50.

Rating: C+. Why not? Seriously, why not? You can’t say this was predictable and it was pretty fun at the same time. Ryder has nothing to do and it’s good to give him a featured spot on next week’s show. This is probably Ryder’s second biggest win ever and maybe it’ll be the start of a new push for him. Nothing special here but I had a good time with it.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of those shows that’s more based around fun than quality. That’s ok but I’d kind of like to see something that actually matters on Smackdown once in awhile. This felt like any other episode and the live aspect didn’t really change anything other than the day it was airing on. As for the American aspect of it, there was almost nothing here other than some standard comedy bits and Duggan/Slaughter’s required appearances. Nothing to see here but it was nothing particularly bad so we’ll go with a little above average.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




Monday Night Raw – July 1, 2013: Forget The Last Two Weeks

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 1, 2013
Location: Gateway Arena, Sioux City, Iowa
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re getting closer to Money in the Bank and we have the participants in the ladder matches already set. Other than that the world title scenes are ready with Ziggler challenging Del Rio and Cena defending against Henry. The card is looking good for the PPV and the TV leading up to it has been solid. Hopefully that keeps up tonight so let’s get to it.

Vickie opens us up, saying that we’ve got Cena vs. Del Rio later tonight. She sucks up to the McMahons a bit just to be safe.

Theme song.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open things up but the crowd seems pretty stoic for him. There’s a ladder and the red briefcase over the ring. Bryan says last week the answer was clear: NO he is not the weak link. The new question is can Daniel Bryan ride the wave of momentum and win the MITB match at the PPV? The answer is of course YES. He wants to follow in the footsteps of Sammartino, Hogan, Austin and The Rock. Bryan says he won MITB two years ago and he’ll do it again this year.

This brings out Sheamus to remind Bryan that he lost the world title at Wrestlemania in just 18 seconds. Sheamus says it’s been too long since he’s had a title around his waist so he’ll win one after getting the briefcase. Bryan wants to know if Sheamus will kick himself in the face if Bryan calls 1-800-Fella. This brings out Orton (no music) to say he’s starving for a title so he’ll be taking the WWE Title.

This brings out Kane who says he’ll do anything to be WWE Champion, including going after one of his friends. Bryan makes fun of Kane for not being able to beat Orton but Kane seems to blame Daniel for the loss. Bryan and Kane get in their usual argument but Christian comes out to break it up. He says he’s had more experience than anyone in ladder matches and he wants one more match. Christian isn’t the biggest, strongest, scariest or hairiest guy in this match, but he’s the best.

Cue CM Punk to almost no reaction whatsoever. He said he wasn’t going to do what everyone else was doing but then he heard the word best. Punk respects Christian but says he’s going to win his third MITB ladder match in two weeks. He doesn’t care if no one likes him because everyone in this match is a jerk. RVD must be watching somewhere and Punk can beat him too. Bryan yells at Punk but Orton gets in Bryan’s face, only to be cut off by Kane. Daniel gets on Kane for fighting his battles, allowing Orton to RKO Kane.

Tonight we’re going to look back at some great champions in wrestling history, starting with Buddy Rogers, the original WWWF Champion. We also look at Lou Thesz as the former World Heavyweight Champion. For those of you unfamiliar, the current World Heavyweight Title has nothing to do with the titles Thesz held as its history starts in 2002.

The Wyatt Family is still coming.

Shield vs. Christian/Usos

This is a rematch from Friday where Shield lost their second ever six man tag. Rollins starts with Jimmy before it’s off to Jey for two off a back elbow. Rollins comes back with some forearms to the back and brings in Ambrose. Jey takes him into the corner for a tag off to Christian who sends Dean to the floor. The Usos dive on the tag champions and Christian takes out the US Champion as we take a break.

Back with Jey in trouble in the corner as we get a clip from the WWE App. Rollins steps on Jey before it’s back to Dean for a quick suplex. Reigns powers Jey down for two before it’s back to Ambrose for some mocking of Captain Charisma. Jey comes back with a superkick to knock Dean down but Rollins breaks up the hot tag. A clothesline puts Seth down and now it’s off to Christian who cleans house.

A middle rope dropkick gets two on Rollins but an Ambrose distraction lets Seth hit a quick enziguri. Dean comes in but walks into the reverse DDT for two. Everything breaks down until it’s only Christian vs. Ambrose. The Killswitch is broken up but Rollins breaks up the sunset flip out of the corner, giving Dean a rollup pin at 9:36.

Rating: C. This was the only logical way to end the match as you need to give Shield their momentum back before the PPV title defenses. They’re pretty much past the six man tag phase of their run now so the loss didn’t hurt them all that much. This was fine stuff here but it was nothing special.

Kane is mad at Bryan but Daniel makes up for it by getting Kane a rematch with Orton. Bryan will be guest referee.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Jinder Mahal

Ziggler easily takes him down to start but misses a dropkick, allowing Mahal to get a running knee to the head for two. Ziggler avoids a charge in the corner as the fans chant for JBL. A dropkick gets two for Dolph as the fans chant for Jerry. The Zig Zag is good for the pin at 2:23.

Post match the Band goes after Ziggler but he takes them down with ease.

More great champion clips: Bruno Sammartino and Harley Race.

Vickie is complaining about things in the back when HHH comes in. HHH praises her for doing what the fans want but she’s stressed because the other McMahons are telling her what to do. The solution? Listen to them and then ignore it.

We get a career retrospective on Mark Henry.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Bryan is guest referee. This is also a rematch from Smackdownw here Bryan threw Kane into the RKO to give Orton the win. Orton pounds away in the corner to start but walks into an uppercut to put him down. Kane fires off some knees in the corner and the low dropkick gets two. Off to a nerve hold by the masked man but Orton fights up and takes Kane down with the Thesz Press. A knee drop gets two for Randy but Kane comes back with a quick suplex. After a quick break on the floor, Kane misses a charge into the corner and Orton pounds away again. Bryan pulls Orton off but Randy shoves him away for the DQ at 4:47.

Actually scratch that as Kane demands and receives a restart. Orton hits a dropkick to knock him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kane holding Orton in a neck crank before hitting some clotheslines in the corners. A side slam sets up the top rope clothesline but Orton dropkicks Kane out of the air. The snap powerslam puts Kane down but he breaks up the Elevated DDT. The chokeslam is countered into the backbreaker from Orton and THAT sets up the DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Bryan breaks it up, allowing Kane to hit a big boot for the pin via a fast count at 12:20 total.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me at all and it was a far cry from their match on Friday. The Bryan stuff is story development but when the blowoff match is going to be in a seven man match it’s kind of hard to care about it here. Kane getting a win here is fine as it doesn’t make Orton look bad and gives him some momentum heading into the PPV.

Kane grabs Bryan by the throat but lets him go and leaves. Bryan eats an RKO.

Punk says he’s beating the Primetime Players alone tonight. He trusts Heyman but not Axel. Heyman says Punk trusts him so trust his judgment.

Bob Backlund and Dusty Rhodes were great champions.

Fandango vs. Sheamus

Fandango dances aaround a lot to start so Sheamus does a little jig of his own. A quick clothesline puts Fandango down and Sheamus takes it to the floor with ease. Fandango is whipped into the steps but comes back with an enziguri in the ring for two. Off to a chinlock on Sheamus before he sends Fandango into the corner for some shoulder blocks. The ten forearms send Fandango to the aisle and he walks out for the countout at 6:16.

Rating: D. Well this sucked. The crowd is sucking the life out of this show and it’s very difficult to get into things at all. Fandango needed a win here to make himself look good after being gone for about a month but instead he loses while looking like any other given heel. Nothing to see here, as has been the case with a lot of stuff tonight.

Ryback vs. The Miz

Jericho is on commentary. Ryback pounds Miz down to start as Jericho talks about how Ryback is a whining complainer. The fans think this is boring as Ryback drops knees on Miz’s back. Some left hands have no effect on Ryback but even more have a bit of impact. Miz goes after Ryback’s bad leg and hits a big boot to take Ryback down. The corner clothesline hits and there’s a jawbreaker to the bad leg. Miz looks for the Figure Four but Ryback gets the ropes, so instead Miz pounds on the knee in the corner…..and Ryback says stop the match at 5:14.

Rating: D. Are the writers REALLY this stupid? I mean, do they want us to be interested in Ryback or do they just tear characters down like this for their own amusement? A year ago Ryback was a rising star and now he’s just this. This is the same Ryback who had a war with Cena a few weeks ago and now he can’t even survive five minutes against THE MIZ?

Post match Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Ryback.

Hogan and Flair were great champions as well.

Here’s Mark Henry with something to say. He didn’t get the name the World’s Strongest Man out of a Crackerjack box but rather he earned it. Henry was in the Olympics in 1992 and 1996 before entering the WWE 17 years ago. Since then he’s found out that there’s jealous, politics and accidental injuries in the WWE. In all those years, he’s never been given a legitimate shot at the WWE Championship. After all those years of pretending he liked the boys and doing the right things for the business he’s no further than where he started.

He deserves to be WWE Champion after all the time he’s given to this organization and all the fans. Henry has earned the right to be WWE Champion because the people hang on every word he says like a bunch of puppets. No one is going to keep him down at Money in the Bank and he’s going to do the right thing for himself. After he beats Cena, everyone is going to say he earned the title because he’s going to beat Cena up.

Vince comes in to see Vickie and Brad because he’s not happy with Daniel Bryan being out there. He does however like the main event of champion vs. champion. The other family members like it but Vince doesn’t like the money being thrown away. A match like that should be on PPV. It’s not good business, and the two of them need to remember there’s a long list of people who were fired for not listening to Vince.

Curtis Axel/CM Punk vs. Prime Time Players

Axel starts with Young as Heyman is already bragging. An armdrag puts Young down but Curtis won’t tag Punk. Off to Titus but Axel still won’t tag. The first decent chant of the night is for CM Punk but Axel silences them cold with a dropkick to take Titus down. The fans still want Punk but Curtis just looks at him and gets clotheslined down by O’Neil.

Titus suplexes Young onto Axel for two before putting Axel in an abdominal stretch. Axel finally gets up a boot in the corner and the double tag brings in Punk to face Young. The springboard cross body puts Darren down and the running knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow. There’s the GTS to Young but Axel tags himself in and steals the pin at 6:13.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but it was storytelling instead of a match. We’re slowly building to Punk turning his back on Heyman once and for all to set up the showdown with Lesnar at Summerslam and putting Axel over at the same time is a fine way of going about accomplishing that goal. Not terrible here but it was all about the story instead of the wrestling.

Punk walks out on Axel and Heyman post match.

Austin and Sting are great champions.

Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn

Both girls get quick rollups for two before Fox pounds on Kaitlyn for a bit. Kaitlyn fights up and spears Alicia down for the pin at 1:52. Nothing to see here.

Post match AJ comes out and has some pictures exposing what kind of trash Kaitlyn used to be. The shot is of a 400lb woman with Kaitlyn’s face superimposed on her body.

Stephanie yells at Vickie but Vickie snaps a bit and says she’s being overloaded. Stephanie sympathizes until Vickie says HHH and Vince are a bit crazy. Next week Vickie gets a job evaluation in the ring.

Cody Rhodes vs. Antonio Cesaro

Before the match Colter talks about how sad it is that the government and Surprise Court is giving the country away. He brings Swagger back and says that we need to pick a side in the company revolution. Cesaro takes over with a quick gutwrench suplex but Cody comes back with a string of rollups. Rhodes is sent to the floor and JBL gets in a good line with “Cesaro knows five languages and now that he’s with Colter he’s learning Dutch.” Cody tries a backslide but gets countered into the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:20.

HHH and Booker T were great champions.

Eva Marie and JoJo, the new Divas for the reality show, are mocked by the Bellas. The Funkadactyls and Natalya come up to protest as this commercial continues.

The Wyatt Family arrives next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Ricardo is missing due to an injury suffered going through a table on Smackdown. They trade headlocks to start until Del Rio shoots Cena off for a standoff. Del Rio escapes an AA attempt and takes a breather on the floor, only to walk into a snap suplex for two. Cena bulldogs Del Rio down but misses a charge into the post. Del Rio misses a charge at Cena and falls to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Alberto holding a chinlock before going up top, only to dive into a dropkick from Cena. The shoulder block misses though and Cena falls out to the floor again. Back in again and Cena initiates his finishing sequence, only to have the AA countered into a German suplex for two. Del Rio’s low superkick is countered into a belly to belly for two but he comes back with the enziguri to knock Cena off the top. Del Rio puts him in the Tree of Woe but misses a charge of his own, going shoulder first into the post.

Cena gets two off a top rope cross body as the fans are FINALLY into this show, over three hours after it started. The AA is countered into the armbreaker which is countered into the STF but here’s Henry to distract Cena. He circles the ring, allowing Del Rio to roll up Cena for two. The low superkick gets two for Alberto but here’s Ziggler on the top rope, allowing Cena to hit the AA for the pin at 15:56.

Rating: C+. This was good but you knew the double distractions were coming from the moment we went to a break. At the end of the day, these matches just don’t mean a thing no matter how clever the writers think they are. Also, Del Rio isn’t going to be a good opponent for Cena due to one simple reason: Cena isn’t going to tap out, so the armbreaker is worthless.

Post match Henry picks up the WWE Title and gets in the ring before throwing the belt down. Cena goes to pick it up but has to back away from Henry. Mark walks away to end the show.

One more Wyatt Faimly promo for the road.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was the opposite of the awesome that was the last two weeks of Raw. This was a bunch of far too long and far too repetitive segments with the McMahons and Vickie, setting up a segment that most people don’t care about in the slightest. On top of that we had the worst crowd I can remember in years dragging things down even further. Finally we had the focus on the title tonight which is fine, but these champion vs. champion matches don’t mean a thing given how often we see them anymore.

Results

Shield b. Usos/Christian – Rollup to Christian

Dolph Ziggler b. Jinder Mahal – Zig Zag

Kane b. Randy Orton – Big Boot

Sheamus b. Fandango via countout

The Miz b. Ryback via surrender

CM Punk/Curtis Axel b. Prime Time Players – GTS to Young

Kaitlyn b. Alicia Fox – Spear

Antonio Cesaro b. Cody Rhodes – Neutralizer

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment

 

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Smackdown – June 28, 2013: Smackdown Goes International

Smackdown
Date: June 28, 2013
Location: Colonial Life Arena, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

After Monday we have a lot more of the card set for Money in the Bank. Tonight we’ll find out who the Smackdown MITB guys are as well as having a Fiesta Del Rio to celebrate Alberto winning the World Heavyweight Championship again. WWE has picked things up lately so hopefully the positive trend continues. Let’s get to it.

We open with the theme song for the first time in months.

There’s a pinata above the ring for the fiesta later.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

This is a Dublin street fight which hopefully ends this stupid feud once and for all. Sandow says that South Carolina was the first state to secede from the union and now he wants out of here too. Ya’ll isn’t a word. It’s pronounced you all, as in you all are a bunch of ignoramuses. Sandow pounds away to start and hits Sheamus with a green kendo stick before we head to the floor. Sheamus whips him into the barricade and puts him over the bar at ringside (Irish people like to drink you see) for the ten forearms to the chest.

Sandow blocks a suplex on the floor and sends Sheamus into the post to take over. Sheamus comes back by throwing Sandow into another bar and pelting a keg at him. Now Sandow has a bag of Irish potatoes dropped onto him as we’re in the “comedy” portion of the match. Damien sends him into the steps to put Sheamus down again as we take a break.

Back with Sandow running Sheamus over for two back in the ring. Sandow throws in some chairs with one being wedged between the ropes. Sheamus comes back with a green bar stool to the face and the Irish Curse for two. A running knee life puts Sandow on the floor and there’s the rolling senton for good measure. Sheamus gets two off the top rope shoulder block but Damien comes back with straight right hands.

The Terminus gets two and Sandow pounds away with the kendo stick. Sheamus easily kicks out and throws a chair at Sandow’s face to take over again. Now it’s Sandow being beaten with the stick for two but he still fights out of White Noise. Sheamus hits another kendo stick shot to send Sandow into the open chair, followed by the Brogue Kick for the pin at 9:28 shown of 12:58.

Rating: C. To recap this feud: everyone said Sheamus would dominate Sandow, Sheamus did dominate Sandow, and the final match (hopefully) was a match in which Sheamus should have destroyed Sandow and he did just that. How this does anything to elevate Sandow or help Sheamus is beyond me but thank goodness it’s over.

Sheamus takes the kendo stick with him and throws the potatoes to the fans.

We look back at the main event from Raw with Bryan making Orton tap out.

Bryan is whistling in the back but Kane gets in his face and tells him not to brag. Kane congratulates Bryan on his win but calls it an upset which sets Bryan off. The big man shuts Bryan up before he can get anywhere with it but Daniel just chalks it up to nerves and hugs him. It’s Kane vs. Orton with Bryan on commentary later.

We recap Heyman and Punk’s segment from Raw.

Time for MizTV with special guest Paul Heyman. Miz asks about Punk and Lesnar being a tag team but Heyman doesn’t want to talk about his personal life. Miz wants to know about Heyman bullying Renee young last week but Heyman says he’s just an advocate. Heyman turns the tables saying Miz is a former WWE and Intercontinental Champion by bringing out Curtis Axel. Miz says that Heyman fooled him just like Heyman fooled Punk on Raw. Heyman says he invited Axel and this interview is over unless Miz isn’t intimidated by Curtis.

Miz says that Heyman is the walking version of Star Wars: he talks like Yoda, smells like Chewbacca and looks like Jabba the Hut. This makes Axel the WWE version of Luke Skywalker: Luke, you are not your father. Miz says he’s going to win the title and Axel says he takes that threat seriously. A fight is about to break out but Heyman says if Miz wants to fight there needs to be a contract and Axel needs to be paid. Heyman makes fun of Miz’s catchphrase but Miz cuts him off, only to have Axel lay Miz out with a neckbreaker into a cutter.

AJ Lee vs. Natalya

Before the match Kaitlyn comes out dressed like AJ to make fun of AJ’s issues with men. Apparently AJ even dated the timekeeper, the ringside doctor and Lillian Garcia. Unfortunately we get no more elaboration on that as the bell rings. Natalya takes AJ down but AJ escapes a slam and slams Natalya’s head into the mat. Kaitlyn skips down to the ring to distract AJ, allowing Natalya to get a rollup pin at 1:05. Kaitlyn in the AJ outfit works VERY well.

Kaitlyn spears AJ down post match.

Bray Wyatt vignette.

Teddy is in the back when Vince comes in. Since Raw is having an All-Star MITB match (Vince’s official term for it), Teddy is going to look to the future. His picks are Wade Barrett, Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro, Fandango, Dean Ambrose, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow. Vince is impressed and they practice saying Fandango.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Bryan is on commentary. Kane grabs a headlock to start but Orton fights free with right hands. He charges into Kane’s boot in the corner to put him down as the match slows up a bit. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but Orton whips him into the corner. The announcers ask Bryan if he would cost Kane the briefcase at MITB but get no answer. Kane goes up for the top rope clothesline but gets punched out of the air to give Orton control again.

Orton stomps away and drops a knee for two but ducks his head to get caught in the running DDT. We take a break and come back with Kane putting on a nerve hold. Orton fights up as Bryan gets on the announce table to play cheerleader. Orton hits the backbreaker to escape and Bryan’s chant becomes NO. A Thesz Press puts Kane down but he kicks Orton’s head off for two. Back up again and Orton hits a dropkick for two of his own, only to get caught in a side slam. This back and forth stuff is working very well.

The top rope clothesline is broken up again, but Kane fights out of the superplex and hits the clothesline on the third try. A back elbow blocks the chokeslam attempt and Orton’s powerslam gets two. The Elevated DDT is countered but neither finisher can hit. Instead it’s the Elevated DDT to send Kane to the floor where Bryan encourages his partner. Bryan helps Kane get back in but he walks into the RKO for the pin at 9:13 shown of 12:13.

Rating: B. I’ve always been a fan of the chemistry between these guys and this is another good example of them working well together. The back and forth stuff with both guys hitting bigger and bigger stuff was a good story capped off by Orton finally hitting his home run move for the win. Bryan accidentally costing Kane the match fits their story very well and advances them towards Money in the Bank. Good stuff.

Ryback vs. Justin Gabriel

Gabriel fires off some kicks to start but Ryback comes back with a hard kick to Gabriel’s chest to take over. Ryback misses another big boot and catches himself on the top rope, allowing Justin to fire kicks into the leg. Gabriel charges into the corner but dives into the Shell Shock for the pin at 1:51. Much like Monday, this was basically a face match by Ryback as he fought through trouble to win.

Immediately after the match here’s Jericho to talk about how Ryback may be a killer, he’s also a whiner, a complainer, a butcher, a baker and a giant excuse maker. Ryback shouts that he’s injured so Jericho starts a Cryback chant. Jericho says he’s going to give something to make Ryback cry about and goes after the big man, only to have Ryback bail from the Walls. Ryback whines that he should be WWE Champion and leaves.

I’ll never get WWE’s theory of turning guys like Ryback. “Well this guy is over as a face, so let’s change everything that got him over and wonder why he isn’t over as a heel.” It works for people when they’ve had great success, but Ryback never actually won anything, so you’re taking the only things he has going for him away and making him less of an intimidating monster and more just pathetic.

Bray Wyatt vignette.

Shield vs. Usos/Christian

Shield beat down Christian again on Main Event but the Usos made the save. Jey and his cousin Roman quickly fall to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Ambrose stomping on Jey before it’s back to Reigns. The big guy hooks a front facelock but lets go to Superman punch Jimmy off the apron. The double tag brings in Ambrose and Christian cleans house with the jumping back elbow.

Rollins breaks up the spear but Christian backdrops him on the floor. Back in and Dean rolls through a cross body for two, only to get caught in a tornado DDT for the same. Reigns comes back in and sends Christian to the floor but gets taken out by Jey. Rollins dives on both Usos and Dean looks to do the same but he walks into a spear from Christian for the pin at 5:18 shown of 8:48.

Rating: C+. This was a good fast paced tag match but did Shield really need to lose another match in such a short span of time? The good thing though is the titles are now the main focus for the team once the big loss was already out of the way. The match was entertaining enough and it sets up the PPV as well so there isn’t much to complain about here.

It’s time for Fiesta Del Rio so here are the mariachis to play the champion to the ring. Ricardo does the full entrance and insults the crowd for some good cheap heat. There are red white and green balloons and a big bowl of chips and salsa. The pinata has Ziggler’s face on it which makes more sense than most pinatas (sidebar: I’ve never understood the mentality behind pinatas. “Hey kids, here’s one of your favorite cartoon characters. Now let’s beat it with a stick until it busts open and you can eat whatever comes out!”).

Del Rio says it’s time to celebrate him being a four time champion and we’re going to do it his way. He says he’s going to speak Spanish tonight, drawing a USA chant. Del Rio speaks Spanish and says this is a party for him and not for any of the people. When he won the title, he didn’t need to use a Money in the Bank contract like Ziggler did. The fans chant USA so Del Rio calls them ignorant and switches back to English.

We’ll start the games with the pinata. Del Rio busts it open with two swings and says he broke it open like he bashed Ziggler’s head in. He’ll do the same thing again at MITB to retain the title. Del Rio poses and wants to know where Ziggler is. This brings out Dolph for the brawl but Del Rio throws him into the salsa. Ziggler throws Ricardo through the food table and hits the Zig Zag on the champion. Dolph swings a guitar at Del Rio but Alberto runs away, leaving Ricardo to take El Cabong. Ziggler plays guitar with the mariachis as balloons fall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I really liked the show tonight as we had some good matches and some solid angle advancement throughout the night. Ziggler looked like the hero they want him to be tonight and there’s a reason to hate Del Rio with the head injuries. WWE has flipped a switch in the last few weeks and their shows have been on fire ever since with this being their latest good effort.

Results

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

Natalya b. AJ Lee – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO

Ryback b. Justin Gabriel – Shell Shock

Christian/Usos b. Shield – Spear to Ambrose

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Monday Night Raw – January 27, 2003: You Can Feel The Suck Starting

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 27, 2003
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back to this death year for the company after a five month layoff. We’re past the Rumble which means HHH is world champion (I’m shocked too) and heading towards No Way Out where we get a rematch from the horrible Steiner vs. HHH world title match in Boston. Let’s get to it.

Booker T vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff challenged Booker to this match as he’s growing more and more frustrated at his inability to win a big match. They jockey for position to start until Booker misses a side kick and it’s a standoff. Booker chops him into the corner and pounds Jeff down, only to have Hardy come back with a flying forearm for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in Booker’s back but T fights up with ease.

Jeff gets some feet up to stop a charge in the corner and gets two off a middle rope dropkick. Booker crotches himself on a side kick but Jeff misses the Whisper in the Wind. Booker misses the ax kick and the second Whisper connects, but Booker hooks the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t working at all but Jeff’s heel turn looks to be going well. Booker was starting to improve at this point but he wasn’t up to the level he would eventually reach. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere, but the chemistry clearly wasn’t there anyway so the lack of time is a good thing.

Post match Jeff tries to jump Booker but gets sent into the barricade instead.

Here’s Scott Steiner to complain about HHH being behind his attack last week. Steiner calls out HHH who debuts his let down hair look here which would be his style for the next two years or so. HHH says that from now on, when you call him out you get all four members of the yet to be named team. They storm the ring but Steiner pulls a led pipe out of his pants and runs them all off. Somehow this took nearly five minutes.

Teddy Long wants to know why there are no black superheroes. Teddy was usually nuts with this character but he’s got a completely valid point this time. D’Lo Brown is YOUR new black superhero. Good to know.

Hurricane vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown slaps him in the face to start and hits that jumping leg lariat of his. D’Lo pounds him on the mat as JR and King do the whitest Shaft routine you’ll ever hear. Off to an abdominal stretch by D’Lo but Hurricane flips out, only to be suplexed down for two. Brown stays on Hurricane’s neck but the powers of….uh….what were Hurricane’s powers anyway? He comes back with an Edge-O-Matic for two before sending Brown to the floor for a big plancha, hurting his own back in the process. Back inside and Hurricane’s back gives out on a suplex attempt, allowing Brown to hit the Sky High for the pin.

Rating: D+. For a four minute TV match, I’ve seen worse. Both guys had a lot more potential than he was given credit for but neither ever had a chance to shine. Of all people, Rock would be the guy who gave Hurricane his big rub, only to have HHH treat Hurricane like a jobber a few weeks later. Such is life in 2003.

Bischoff is worried that Vince likes Smackdown better.

We recap Jericho hitting Stacy with a chair last week.

Here’s Jericho with something to say. He’s sorry for what he did last week but before he can get much further, here’s Christian with something to say. Christian thinks that it’s Stacy’s fault for being out there and Test’s fault for not taking the chair shot last week. Jericho talks some trash about Test until Shawn comes out to further their Wrestlemania feud. Shawn makes fun of Jericho and eventually clears the ring of the Canadians. Not much to see here.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and this is a street fight. Victoria jumps the champion during her entrance and chokes her to the ring with a kendo stick. Trish is whipped into the steps and then into the crowd but she comes back with high kicks to take over. A cross body off the barricade gets two on the floor (making this a hardcore match instead of a street fight) before they head back inside. Victoria hits a slingshot legdrop for two but Trish heads to the floor to find weapons.

A HARD trashcan lid shot to the head puts Victoria down before Trish smacks two lids around Victoria’s head. The champion comes back with a lid shot of her own and slingshots Trish face first into the can itself. Victoria goes up but gets hit with the lid again, followed by the Stratusphere for two. They head outside again with Trish hitting a Thesz Press off the apron to take over again.

Back in and Trish pounds away but has to duck a fire extinguisher blast from Victoria’s guy Steven Richards. The Chick Kick gets two for Stratus and she pounds both of them down with kendo stick shots. Victoria comes back with a superkick for two followed by Richards breaking up Stratusfaction. Victoria shoves Trish off the apron and into the barricade for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This was better than you would expect but Richards was very annoying. It’s good stuff when the chicks get out of their comfort zone and beat the tar out of each other like this which made for a more entertaining match. Victoria was awesome in the psycho role as well. Good stuff here.

Post match Jazz returns from injury and destroys Trish with every signature and finishing move she has.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

This is a tables rematch from the last week with the foreigners defending the titles. The Dudleys pound on the foreigners with flags to start until Bubba spears Storm to the floor. D-Von officially starts with Regal as we’re supposed to believe tags will be a part of this match. D-Von clotheslines Regal in the corner and Bubba follows with a splash and the reverse double neckbreaker to put Regal down. Storm tries to come in and walks into 3D followed by a What’s Up to Regal. It’s table time and the big ECW city of Chicago goes NUTS.

D-Von can’t find any tables as the match kind of comes to a screeching halt since both champions are down but there’s no way to end the match. This brings out Chief Morely (Val Venis) with a table, but as the Dudleys go after him, 3 Minute Warning of all people pop up to beat the Dudleys down, leaving none of the people in the match standing. This brings out Spike Dudley to beat up Rico (Warning’s manager) and Jamal, only to be crotched by Rosey. Rico kicks Spike in the head and Rosey powerbombs D-Von through the table to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Well that happened. This was a six and a half minute match with four people in it to start and five people interfering. The tag title scene was such a mess at this time that’s it’s all the more confusing why there was a second set of titles created a few months earlier. This wasn’t really even a match.

HHH and company go into Eric’s office and laugh a bit. Next.

RVD and Kane make up after their issues at the Rumble because they face Batista and HHH tonight.

Matt Cappotelli vs. John Hennigan

This is billed as an exhibition and both guys come out together with Al Snow. Hennigan is more famous as John Morrison and looks odd with short hair here. They fight over a headlock to start as it’s clear both guys are very green. Hennigan spins out of a hiptoss and armdrags Matt down for two. Not that it matters as here’s Christopher Nowitski, a fellow Tough Enough finalist, to complain about both guys rubbing his in his loss. For those of you who didn’t get to see Cappotelli wrestle, he had more potential than Hennigan.

Tommy Dreamer runs off Nowitski and canes both guys down to make them pay dues.

Here’s Bischoff to say that Austin is NOT here tonight and to plug Austin’s interview in Raw Magazine. We get a clip from Confidential (a show with a bunch of videos which started out AWESOME with stuff like Shawn admitting he knew about Montreal beforehand for the first time and a piece on how wrestlers react when they’re told wrestling is fake. Yeah on a WWE show. It eventually evolved into a nothing show like most other WWE ideas) explaining that Austin took his ball and went home. We also get the Austin Desire (an ad campaign at the time) video and that’s about it.

Scott Steiner vs. Chris Jericho for the #1 contender’s spot is announced for next week.

Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. HHH/Batista

The big men get us going with Kane pounding him into the corner but getting caught by a clothesline. Kane comes back with a powerslam and it’s off to Van Dam with a splash for two. Rob hits some shoulders in the corner but as he backflips away from Batista, Big Dave spears him down. Off to HHH who pounds away in the corner but gets caught by some spin kicks to the face. The jumping knee to the face gets two for the world champion and it’s back to Batista.

Some HARD clotheslines put Van Dam down and then some hard clotheslines put Van Dam down. Batista wasn’t exactly the star he would become yet if you couldn’t tell. Back to HHH who gets caught with a kick to the chest, allowing for the double tag to the big men. Everything breaks down and Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Batista but the Five Star misses. Orton and Flair run down and send Kane into the post before Batista rips the mask off. Kane runs off as Van Dam is hit with a spinebuster and the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much to see here as Batista wasn’t ready for anything like this yet. He would get much better by the end of the year but his matches were pretty hard to sit through at this point. HHH’s new style didn’t work for anyone but him, meaning it’s all we’re going to see for a long time.

Post match Van Dam gets beaten down until Steiner comes out for the save with the pipe. The numbers catch up with him too and the beatdown is on. It’s a long one too with the last two and a half minutes of the show being spent on the attack. The group leaves and Jericho comes out to put Steiner in the Walls to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as a lot of the stuff wasn’t bad at all but it’s leading up to such worthless material later on that it’s hard to care at all. The stories just aren’t interesting and there’s almost no reason to care about any of them. HHH is showing signs of being the life sucking force that he would be all year with nothing interesting happening for him. The show certainly wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t interesting.

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