Impact Wrestling
Date: January 4, 2024
Hosts: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

With the relaunch of TNA Wrestling taking place next week at Hard To Kill, it’s time to look back at some of the best moments of TNA. As a result, this week is called the Best Of TNA, meaning it is likely to feature matches from a good many years ago with wrestlers who aren’t around here anymore. But at least the crowd chants will work. Let’s get to it.

The hosts welcome us to the show.

From June 19, 2002, the first match in company history.

AJ Styles/Jerry Lynn/Low Ki vs. Flying Elvises

The Elvises jump them to start but get taken down for a series of dives. We settle down to Yang kneeing Styles in the face for two but Styles splashes down onto him for a breather. It’s off to Lynn for a tornado DDT, only to have Yang send him into the corner for a kick to the chest. Siaki comes in for a shot to Lynn’s face but Lynn is over to Ki without much effort.

Siaki is fine enough to hit an over the shoulder backbreaker and Estrada adds a running shooting star for two. Ki suplexes his way to freedom but Estrada kicks the legal Styles’ head off for two more. Lynn comes back in for a cradle piledriver and we hit the parade of knockdowns. Yang Time (phoenix splash) finishes Styles at 6:23.

Rating: B-. They were right about the total nonstop action part as this was a pure sprint from the start to the finish. Styles got to show off his athleticism while the Elvises, as goofy as they might be, did get to showcase what they were able to do. Seeing Styles take the first loss ever in the promotion is certainly interesting, but what makes it more confusing is the fact that the three loses would be competing for the inaugural X-Division Title the following week. How TNA of TNA.

We look at Christian Cage’s debut at Genesis 2005. That was a big, big deal.

We look at Kurt Angle’s debut at No Surrender 2006. This set up his feud with Samoa Joe, which felt like it could have been that much bigger if they had waited a bit longer. The bloody Joe popping up to take out Angle was a great visual though.

From June 25, 2003.

Chris Sabin vs. Frankie Kazarian

This was dubbed the Battle Of The Futures and they’re both still with the company today. Joined in progress with Kazarian grabbing a suplex and kicking him in the face. A DDT gives Sabin two and Kazarian bails to the floor for the big flip dive. Back in and Sabin gets two off a dropkick and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and they trade rollups for two each until Sabin kicks him in the back of the head for two. Kazarian gets in a shot of his own and goes up, only to have Sabin run the corner and slam him back down for two. Sabin is back up and avoids a springboard dropkick, setting up a backbreaker for two on Kazarian. A tiger suplex gives Sabin two but Kazarian catches him on top with the Flux Capacitor for the pin at 10:33 shown of 11:55.

Rating: B-. Given what these two would go on to become, it should be shock that the two of them had a good match when they were up and comers. It’s a good example of what happens when talent is given a chance to showcase themselves and these two had a good one. Solid match here and a nice hidden gem.

Eric Young joins us in the studio and goes through some of various personae over the years, which really is rather impressive when you look at how much he has done.

From Turning Point 2007.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

Kim is defending and we’re joined in progress with Kong missing a charge into the post. They get inside for the opening bell and Kim goes after the arm, only to get swung down with straight power. Kong misses a charge into the corner but she powers Kim down again and grabs a camel clutch.

With that broken up, Kong hits a chokebomb and a running splash in the corner to make it worse. Back up and Kim ducks the spinning backfist before firing off some dropkicks. A top rope backsplash gives Kim two but Kong hits her in the face. The choking is on but Kong shoves the referee down for the DQ at 8:40.

Rating: C+. First off, points for going with the rematch instead of the initial title win. Other than that, you had Kong as the unstoppable force and Kim fighting to hang on, which is as classic of a story as you can get in wrestling. These two always had perfect chemistry together and it’s this feud that made Kim a legend in women’s wrestling. Not a great match here, but you got the idea instantly and that is the sign of something working.

Post match Kong powerbombs the referee.

From Wrestle Kingdom III.

Kevin Nash/Kurt Angle/Masahiro Chono/Riki Choshu vs. Giant Bernard/Karl Anderson/Takashi Iizuka/Tomohiro Ishii

Bernard (better known as Albert/A-Train) runs into Nash to start but can’t get very far. Nash takes him into the corner for the boot choke so it’s off to Iizuka, who gets kicked in the face by Chono. Ishii comes in (looking YOUNG) and gets taken into the corner so the beatdown can be on. That’s broken up so it’s Choshu coming in to work on Anderson’s leg. Angle (big reaction) comes in and gets two off a suplex It’s already back to Choshu, who is driven into the corner so Bernard can get in some shoulders to the ribs. Everything breaks down and Angle ankle locks Anderson for the tap at 7:04.

Rating: C+. There was only so much you could do with eight people and about seven minutes of action so this went as well as it could have gone. Having Angle and Nash there made for a special feeling, but the legends were the showcase here, as tends to be the case. It wasn’t a great match, but it was a nice way to get a bunch of names in the ring.

From Victory Road 2010.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money

The titles are vacant coming in and we’re joined in progress with Roode being sent face first into the middle buckle. Standing Sliced Bread gets two with Storm making the save. A hurricanrana puts Storm down but Roode is right back in to roll Shelley up for two. Storm is knocked outside again and this time Sabin hits a springboard crossbody to take him down again.

Storm’s beer accidentally goes into the referee’s eyes so Earl Hebner has to run in and count two off Skull And Bones. Roode rolls through a high crossbody for two more and they trade strikes. Storm and Sabin grab stereo covers and it’s a double pin at 5:37 shown. That doesn’t work for Earl so restart the thing. Beer Money chokes away and Skull and Bones gives Shelley the pin at 7:52 shown of 15:50. I won’t rate about half of the match but the full thing is rather good.

There’s only one way to wrap this up. From Unbreakable 2005.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is defending and gets double teamed to start. He gets back up and yells so some double kicks put him right back down. Joe pulls Styles into a Rings of Saturn but Daniels makes the save. Daniels strikes away at both of them and gets two on Styles. Joe is back up and slugs away before hitting a release Rock Bottom on Daniels. The running boot in the corner is broken up though and Daniels hits a dive through the ropes to take Joe out again. Styles takes both of them down with a big dive and we take a break.

Back with Styles dropkicking Joe for two before Daniels monkey flips Styles…who hurricanranas Joe down. For some reason Daniels decides to slap away at Joe, who chokes him as a result. Styles breaks that up with the Spiral Tap and gets two each as a result. Daniels is back up but the Best Moonsault Ever is cut off, with Joe sending Styles into Daniels in the Tree of Woe.

Joe’s backsplash gets two on Styles but Daniels hits him with a Death Valley Driver to leave everyone down. Daniels and Styles both go to the floor and miss dives, only to have Joe take them both out. We take another break and come back with Joe superplexing both of them at once to leave them all down again. Joe Musclebusts Daniels and takes out Styles, only to go for the title. That allows Daniels to hit an enziguri to the belt to Joe’s head, followed by a Blue Thunder Bomb for two on Styles.

The Best Moonsault Ever gets two more, with Joe making the save this time. Styles is back up with the moonsault reverse DDT for two more but Daniels plants Styles off the top for two. Joe is back up with the powerbomb into the STF on Daniels, who makes the rope. Styles’ torture rack powerbomb hits Joe for two before he rolls into the Styles Clash with Joe making another save. Joe misses a charge out to the floor, leaving Styles to reverse the Angel’s Wings into a backdrop rollup for the pin and the title at 21:45 shown of 22:50.

Rating: A. What else is there to say about this one? It’s probably the best match TNA has ever had and it has its reputation for a reason. If they wanted to show what they can do, there isn’t much of a better choice. It showcased the X-Division, three of the biggest stars the company has ever had and gave us a new champion. This is one of those matches where there is pretty much nothing wrong and the amazing action and pace carry it to an insanely high level.

The hosts wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. The important thing here was the show focused on the wrestling and almost every division around. In other words, they stayed away from the storylines and angles that dragged everything down for years. Go with what makes things more interesting and focus on the good rather than the bad. There are only so many of these names left, but the flashbacks, with some actual hidden gems in there, made this a rather entertaining show.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: September 29, 2023
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Kevin Patrick, Corey Graves

We’re just over a week away from Fastlane and John Cena is going to need some help dealing with the Bloodline. Cena was laid out to end last week’s show and is currently heading into a handicap match next week. Other than that, it would be nice to get something else added to the card, as there are two matches set with eight days to go. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is the Bloodline to get things going. Paul Heyman, who insists that his name is NOT boo, says he gets to do something in person for a change. He acknowledges his Tribal Chief (naturally not here) and of course so does everyone here. Last week, the SECOND greatest of all time, John Cena, took one of the worst beatings he’s taken in ten years. We see a clip (which Heyman calls the Bloodline’s version of the Zapruder Film) from last week of Cena signing to face the Bloodline but his partner AJ Styles was taken out beforehand. Cena got beaten down by both of them to end the show, meaning Cena is in even more trouble.

Back in the arena, Heyman says that Cena is having transportation issues here and he’s not here yet. Jimmy Uso accuses Cena of being scared to show up, with a threat to take Cena out if he makes it to the arena. Cue Karl Anderson to clear the ring and say he wants either of them right now. Heyman whispers something to Solo Sikoa, who tells Jimmy to handle this before Sikoa does it himself.

Karl Anderson vs. Jimmy Uso

Joined in progress with Anderson stomping away and snapping off the spinebuster for two. Jimmy comes back with a rake to the eyes and the superkick connects. The Superfly Splash finishes Anderson at 2:16 shown.

Post match Anderson goes after Uso again but Solo Sikoa Spikes him down. As the Bloodline leaves, Michin runs in and slaps Uso on her way to check on Anderson.

Santos Escobar says he’s staying focused on Rey Mysterio and the US Title but he’s very nervous. Tonight, Rey is in for the biggest fight of his life.

The Bloodline is livid backstage, with Paul Heyman calling Roman Reigns.

It’s time for the Grayson Waller Effect, with Waller bringing out Bobby Lashley. Waller brings up Lashley not being happy with what the Street Profits have been doing lately, with Lashley saying he made a bad decision. Waller thinks he and Austin Theory would have been a better choice for such a team but Lashley is going to pass on that one. Cue the Street Profits, with Lashley telling them to prove it. The three of them go to leave so Waller calls out Austin Theory (who has a staredown with Lashley on the way to the ring).

Video on Dragon Lee, who is in the crowd.

Cameron Grimes vs. Austin Theory

No entrance for Grimes, which probably explains why I can barely remember he’s on the roster most of the time. Grimes strikes away to start and hits a running basement dropkick for two. Theory knocks him down but Grimes is right back up with a kick to the head in the corner. The high crossbody gives Grimes two and a bridging German suplex gets the same. Grimes sends him outside but a Grayson Waller distraction lets Theory post him. Back in and the rolling dropkick sets up A Town Down for the pin on Grimes at 3:03.

Rating: C. This was about what you would have expected as Grimes has gone from a promising star to one of the resident jobbers to the stars. Theory and Waller are being built up into a thing and the wins help with that, but it would be nice to see Grimes getting to do something. Or for Waller and Theory to have someone big to face.

Post match Theory goes over and shoves Dragon Lee.

Rey Mysterio is ready to bring it against Santos Escobar.

In the back, the Bloodline wrecks Ashante Thee Adonis as B Fab panics.

US Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Santos Escobar

Mysterio is defending and hugs Dragon Lee (as does Escobar). We get the Big Match Intros and Zelina Vega is here to cheer for both of them. Escobar takes him to the mat to start as they’re in an early grappling exchange. Mysterio gets sent to the apron so Escobar kicks him in the head, setting up a slingshot dive to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Escobar hitting a dropkick to stagger Rey again. Rey is able to send him outside though and a dive connects, followed by a top rope seated senton back inside. Escobar gets in a shot of his own though as we see the Bloodline wrecking more people backstage. Rey loads up the 619 but Escobar cuts him off with a heck of a superkick.

That’s enough to knock Rey outside and the big suicide dive drops him again. A moonsault off the barricade hits Mysterio again, followed by some running knees in the corner. Rey gets sat up top for a kick to the head, setting up the super hurricanrana. We take another break and come back with Escobar grabbing a Gory Stretch. With that broken up, Escobar misses a high crossbody but grabs a kneeling backbreaker for two.

Rey’s hurricanrana is countered but Rey counters the counter into a sunset flip for two of his own. They go up top with Rey having to elbow his way out of a super Phantom Driver. A super anklescissors brings Escobar back down but the 619 is blocked again. Another attempt connects but Escobar avoids a frog splash. The Phantom Driver is loaded up, only to have Rey reverse into a small package to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B. They kept this clean and let them do their thing rather well, which shouldn’t be that much of a surprise. It would be a surprise if this doesn’t lead to some kind of an issue between the two of them though, as that would seem to be in the cards somewhere. For now though, it continues to be rather impressive that Mysterio can still have quality matches at this stage in his career, as it’s not something you often see.

Post match Rey holds out his hand but before Escobar can shake it, the Street Profits jump them from behind. Cue a rather happy looking Bobby Lashley. The rest of the LWO tries to come in for the save but they get taken out as well. Dragon Lee is held back from coming in and the beating continues.

Post break Escobar is livid at the Street Profits and Bobby Lashley. The challenge is on for a six man at Fastlane.

We hear about Jade Cargill’s signing. That’s a heck of a big starting point.

Video on Iyo Sky retaining the Women’s Title over Asuka last week.

John Cena arrives and leaves his car in the middle of the parking lot, contract in hand.

We look at Elton Prince continuing his physical therapy, with raining in tags, eye poking and chair shots, only to almost get run over when he is left to fall through traffic. And yes, it ends with Pretty Deadly jumping into the air for a freeze frame. As it should.

The Brawling Brutes aren’t happy.

Charlotte vs. Bayley

The rest of Damage CTRL is here with Bayley. Note that Charlotte has been standing in the ring through Cena’s arrival, a commercial, and the Pretty Deadly and Brawling Brutes segments. Hold on again though as Charlotte asks what happened to Bayley. She was one of the Horsewomen but now she’s just a stepping stone. After Charlotte wins here, she’s challenging Iyo Sky for the title at Fastlane.

They send each other into the corner to start, with Charlotte hitting some chops. Bayley knocks her to the floor though and we take a break. Back with Charlotte hitting a fall away slam to send Bayley outside again. Another shot drops Bayley but she catches Charlotte on top. The Sasha Banks double knees in the corner for two, only to have Charlotte spear her down for the pin at 7:34.

Rating: C+. Well that certainly was a Charlotte match, as she got to look dominant over another star and then won clean out of nowhere. Bayley looked completely secondary to her here and that isn’t how someone with her success should be presented. Charlotte is going to be pushed as a top star no matter what, but she doesn’t have to crush everyone else.

Post match Damage CTRL surrounds the ring to go after Charlotte but Asuka runs in for the save. Asuka wants in on the Women’s Title match at Fastlane.

Here is John Cena, complete with contract. Cena says he is here to compete and holds up the contract, which is what he wanted. Cena can run or he can fight, and what do you think he’s going to do? Cue the Bloodline for the beatdown again with the announcers’ table being loaded up. Cue LA Knight and yeah the roof comes off again. House is cleaned and Knight signs the contract to be Cena’s partner to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It wasn’t a bad show, but this was mainly about waiting for Cena to show up and do anything. That ending segment was good, though it took a long time to get there and that didn’t help. Other than that, we got some stuff put together, or at least challenged, for Fastlane and a good match in the middle. Overall, not a great show, but it did enough to get by. They still need to do A LOT for Fastlane though and it’s really annoying when WWE waits so late in the game to announce the card. Anyway, not terrible here, but the build to Fastlane continues to be a struggle.

Results
Jimmy Uso b. Karl Anderson – Superfly Splash
Austin Theory b. Cameron Grimes – A Town Down
Rey Mysterio b. Santos Escobar – Small package
Charlotte b. Bayley – Spear

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: September 22, 2023
Location: Desert Diamond Arena, Glendale, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Kevin Patrick

It’s a special show tonight as John Cena is still around and isn’t taking too kindly to how he has been treated by the Bloodline. That alone should make for a big show, but at some point we might need something for Fastlane. The show is two weeks from tomorrow and there is still nothing announced for the card. Get on that already. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about doing a lot of things since returning, with the fans WHATing him a lot, including about being a referee. Eventually Cena admits defeat and says tonight is different than any night he’s had since he has been back. He’s here to get back in the ring, but he’s also mad. That means mad at the Bloodline, and he has a partner in mind. As in a phenomenal partner, so here is AJ Styles. Cena wants them to face the Bloodline tonight, so Styles is in. Cue the Bloodline (minus Paul Heyman) but they back off instead of fighting.

Post break Cena and Styles beg Adam Pearce to make the match. Pearce has to talk to Paul Heyman, which leaves Cena and Styles a bit confused.

LWO vs. Street Profits

Zelina Vega and Bobby Lashley are here too. Dawkins shoulders Escobar down to start but Escobar is back up with a dropkick. Mysterio comes in for an anklescissors but it’s off to Ford to drop Mysterio for two. Ford is sent outside, where Rey misses a dive and Dawkins runs Escobar over.

We take a break and come back with Rey in trouble and Ford cutting off an escape attempt. The tag attempt goes through a few seconds later and it’s Escobar coming in to pick up the pace. A high crossbody gets two on Ford but he kicks Escobar in the head and hits a splash for two of his own. Escobar catches him on top with a super hurricanrana for two but the Phantom Driver is broken up. Dawkins comes back in and Sky Highs Rey for two before Lashley gets in a cheap shot. That doesn’t seem cool with Dawkins, allowing Rey to grab a sunset flip for the pin at 10:48.

Rating: C+. That ending makes me think that the Profits are in for some changes, as Lashley isn’t going to accept his proteges not doing what he told them to do. The team hasn’t committed fully to the evil side yet and this might be what pushes them over the edge. For now though, it’s a good start coming off a pretty nice tag match.

Lashley is NOT happy.

We look back at the Rock returning last week.

Here is Austin Theory to yell at commentary as they talk about the Rock. Referees get rid of him.

Alba Fyre and Isla Dawn imply their magic is the reason the Women’s Tag Team Titles feel cursed. That’s a clever way to go.

Grayson Waller and Austin Theory run into the Brutes, who mock their way into a tag match tonight.

Bobby Lashley yells at the Street Profits, saying he wants all of his stuff back if they won’t do as he says. Go sit in catering and he’ll find someone who will.

Video on Asuka challenging Iyo Sky for the Women’s Title tonight.

Adam Pearce talks to Paul Heyman but we can’t hear what is said.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Iyo Sky

Sky, with Bayley and Dakota Kai, is defending. Hold on though as here is Charlotte to watch from ringside. Sky grabs the wristlock to start before they go to the mat. Back up and Asuka misses a kick, allowing Asuka to snap off some armdrags. Sky catches her on top with a super armdrag to the floor, only to miss an Asai moonsault. Asuka kicks her in the head and we take a break.

Back with Sky hitting a double stomp for two but Asuka gets in a superplex for the same. Sky palm strikes her down for two more, only to have Asuka grab an armbar. With that broken up, Asuka hits a missile dropkick and fires off some rather hard strikes. A sliding kick to the face gets two and Asuka grabs a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up so they head outside where Asuka kicks the post by mistake. Sky’s moonsault to the floor barely makes contact and we take a break.

Back with Asuka in a chinlock and Sky switching places to keep her from the rope. Asuka reverses into the Asuka Kick but Sky makes the rope. A kick to the head (foot seems fine) gives Asuka two and we hit the cross armbreaker. We’ll make that the Asuka Lock again but this time Bayley puts the foot on the rope for the break. Charlotte decks Bayley but the distraction lets Sky hit the running knees to the back. Over The Moonsault retains the title at 19:27.

Rating: B. This was billed as a dream match and I can see how they got to that point. These two were rather well matches with Asuka having just enough flying to keep up with Sky while Sky had just enough grappling to keep up with Asuka. I could have gone without Charlotte being involved but there doesn’t seem to be much of a way around here at this point. Odds are Charlotte gets back into the title picture soon, as she already has a reason to go after Damage CTRL.

Adam Pearce comes in to see the Bloodline and has a contract for the main event. Paul Heyman is fine with the match taking place anytime but tonight so we’ll do it at Fastlane (it’s about time). The contract signing is tonight, which works for Jimmy. With Pearce gone, Heyman says Roman Reigns needs to approve decisions like that. With Jimmy gone, Solo Sikoa says there’s nothing to worry about after tonight, and he looks at his thumb. Heyman calls Reigns.

A sad Kit Wilson is in the hospital with the still injured Elton Prince, who drops his drink and needs assistance. We get a training montage as Prince attempts to recover and it….doesn’t go so well. The orthopedic surgeon says he’ll be fine but Prince is in tears. Granted it could be because Wilson is pulling his hair as he cradles Prince’s head. As usual, this was great.

Brawling Brutes vs. Grayson Waller/Austin Theory

Theory takes over on Holland to start before Waller comes in to knee away at Butch. It’s back to Holland for the swinging front facelock into a butterfly suplex. The slingshot double stomp hits Waller, setting up stereo forearms to the chest. We take a break and come back with a clothesline keeping Butch in trouble before Waller fires off knees in the corner. Waller loads up his own forearms but Butch snaps the fingers and flips over him for the tag to Holland.

Everything breaks down and Holland gorilla presses Theory into a powerslam for two. Butch moonsaults onto Waller and Holland escapes A-Town Down. An Alabama Slam gets two on Theory and the Boston crab keeps him in trouble. Waller manages to post Butch though and the rolling Stunner saves Theory. A-Town Down finishes Holland at 10:43.

Rating: B-. I don’t know how much of a future Waller and Theory have as a team but for now at least, they’re doing well enough as a midcard heel pairing. They suit each other well and that is enough to carry them pretty far. As for the Brutes, they have more or less locked themselves in as the lower card face team, though Butch is still great to watch in just about anything he does.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

It’s time for the contract signing for the Fastlane tag match. John Cena comes out and signs immediately. There’s no AJ Styles though as we cut to the back, where the Bloodline wipes him out. Solo Sikoa dives off a platform to crush him with a splash and Styles is left laying, out cold.

Post break Styles is taken out in an ambulance, with Karl Anderson saying he told AJ not to get involved in this Bloodline stuff.

The Bloodline heads back to the ring and clears it out. Paul Heyman says John Cena is now minus a partner for Fastlane and Jimmy Uso finds it hilarious. Cue Cena to go after the Bloodline but the numbers game takes him out. Sikoa loads up the thumb and Cena gets dropped. Jimmy Uso goes up top for the Superfly Splash and then signs the contract. Sikoa signs as well and Jimmy goes up for another Splash onto the contract onto Cena. The Bloodline poses to end the show. Cena is going to need a big partner. Like a mega star kind of big partner.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling carried the show here as we had one match (mostly) announced for Fastlane and little else in the way of storyline progression. The Women’s Title match was good and felt like a big showdown, though they’re going to have to do some big things in the next few weeks to get Fastlane ready. This show was good enough, but it was focused on two major things, with only one of them actually taking place here.

Results
LWO b. Street Profits – Sunset flip to Dawkins
Iyo Sky b. Asuka – Over The Moonsault
Grayson Waller/Austin Theory b. Brawling Brutes – A-Town Down to Holland

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: July 28, 2023
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett

We are eight days away from Summerslam and that should make for a pretty big show. At the very least, Roman Reigns is here and that will boost things up a lot, as we now know he’s in for Tribal Combat against Jey Uso. Other than that, we need a #1 contender to the US Title so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Jey Uso to get things going but Roman Reigns and the Bloodline cut him off. Reigns says this is his show so he’ll kick it off. Reigns says he made Jey the right hand man because he has that kind of power. Does Jey think he can run this place? Jey says he stood beside Reigns for years but now Reigns has broken the family, the Bloodline and Jimmy Uso. Reigns says that’s Jey’s fault and Jey was only the right hand man because Jimmy was hurt. After Summerslam, Jey is wiped off the face of the earth and no longer part of this legacy.

Reigns asks what happens if things get crazy and Jey beats him….but nah because Jey can’t do it. So why does he think he can? Jey: “Because I already beat you.” He says he’ll do it again at Summerslam and walks off, leaving Reigns bewildered. This was Jey countering the mind games that have destroyed him for years now and that’s a smart road to take.

Post break Jey runs into Grayson Waller, who offers to give him the Grayson Waller Rub after he loses at Summerslam. Jey slaps him in the face and walks off.

Rey Mysterio vs. Santos Escobar

For a future US Title shot. They shake hands to start with Escobar taking him down by the leg. Back up and they trade slaps until Rey sends him outside for a big running flip dive. We take a break and come back with Escobar hitting a running forearm as US Champion Austin Theory is watching in a sky box. Escobar kicks him in the head and hits a high crossbody for two, followed by a rollup for the same.

The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Escobar two more but Rey sends him outside. The sliding splash misses though and Escobar hits a big dive as we take another break. Back again with the match paused and a trainer checking on Rey. Apparently he hit his head on the landing from the dive before the break. The referee calls the match at 14:13 and Escobar gets the win and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This is a hard one to rate but we’ll go with what we got to see here. What matters with this one is that Rey is ok, and the fact that he seems to have gotten his bell rung more than anything else is a good sign. In theory, Escobar was moving on anyway here and we do have a #1 contender. They were starting to rock near the end, but there is nothing else you can do when someone is hurt.

Post match Escobar checks on Rey and pays homage to him. Escobar stares at Theory, who he will face for the title in two weeks.

Bianca Belair is ready to win her title back but Chelsea Green and Sonya Deville interrupt to make fun of her for not having a title anymore. Belair offers to fight both of them but here is Charlotte to call Deville and Green bullies. Charlotte wants Belair at 100% so we’ll do the tag match thing later.

Here is Hit Row to mock the fans but LA Knight interrupts, apparently for a scheduled match. Knight didn’t know Uncle Phil was a rapper and thinks B Fab has a thing for him. For now though, Ashante Thee Adonis can be the next to get dropped on his head.

LA Knight vs. Ashante Thee Adonis

Adonis starts fast and Top Dolla gets in a cheap shot. With Dolla dispatched, Knight hits a powerslam, the spelling elbow and Blunt Force Trauma for the pin at 1:32. That’s how Knight should be used at the moment if they don’t have anything bigger for him.

Adam Pearce tells Jey Uso he has to face Grayson Waller tonight. Works for Jey.

Bobby Lashley is with the Street Profits in a rather nice looking lounge. He likes the team, but thinks they need to dress better. Well, that Angelo Dawkins does at least. Courtesy of Lashley, here are some rather nice suits. Dawkins seems appreciative and I continue to be curious about where this is going.

Bianca Belair/Charlotte vs. Sonya Deville/Chelsea Green

Non-title. Belair and Green start things off with Belair easily taking over. Charlotte comes in for the figure four necklock faceplants before handing it back to Belair. The handspring knocks Green off the apron and there’s a dropkick to Deville for a bonus. We take a break with the champs in trouble and come back with Belair suplexing both of them at the same time.

The crawling tag brings in Charlotte to clean house, including a clothesline for two on Green. Charlotte spears Green down and Belair adds a delayed vertical suplex to Deville. Some right hands in the corner miss for Belair but she breaks up the Unpretty-Her. The KOD is loaded up but Charlotte tags herself in and kicks Green in the face for the (delayed) pin at 10:25.

Rating: C. Why does WWE insist on doing this? They act like they want the titles to mean something and then do something like this. I get that Belair and Charlotte are more talented than the champs, but that doesn’t mean the match has to be booked. Just leave the champs out of this or have some kind of screwy finish that doesn’t involve them being pinned clean. That shouldn’t be too hard to figure out.

Post match the argument is on.

Iyo Sky asks Bayley why she left so fast last week. Bayley says something about wanting to leave quickly before finding a note from Shotzi in her bag. They rush to leave but Asuka comes in and promises to retain at Summerslam. Sky teases the briefcase and leaves with Bayley.

There is going to be a Summerslam Battle Royal, featuring stars from Raw and Smackdown.

LA Knight tells Adam Pearce that he wants in the battle royal. The Brawling Brutes come in and mock Knight, earning them spots in the battle royal and Sheamus vs. Knight next week.

Karrion Kross vs. Karl Anderson

Before the match, Anderson asks the rest of the OC to stay in the back because this is personal (they’re cool with that). Kross takes him into the corner to start but Anderson gets a boot up to stop a charge. The middle rope neckbreaker gets two but Kross suplexes him down. A powerslam swung into a DDT (the Final Prayer) finishes Anderson at 2:04. I’m still not sure why Anderson and Gallows remain employed other than maybe HHH feeling sorry for how they were cut so fast last time.

Post match Kross stays on Anderson until AJ Styles makes the save.

Jey Uso vs. Grayson Waller

They circle each other a bit to start until Waller manages to knock him into the corner for a running knee. Back up and Jey kicks him into the corner but cue the Bloodline for a distraction. Waller runs him over again and we take a break. Back with Jey fighting out of a cravate but getting dropped again as the fans seem rather interested in this Roman fellow.

Waller hits the springboard elbow and a spinebuster, setting up a People’s Elbow (with some personalized features) which takes way too long. The rolling Stunner is cut off by a superkick and Jey hits a spear (which might replace Christian’s as the least convincing ever). The Superfly Splash finishes Waller at 11:17.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t about the match itself but rather about a way to get Reigns and Jey out there at the same time again. In that sense it worked well and gave Jey a bit of momentum, but it isn’t like this was some kind of great main event. Jey is going to need all of the momentum he can get and this gave him just enough to get by this week.

Post match Solo Sikoa runs in to beat Jey down but the Spike misses. Jey hits the superkick so Reigns comes in, only to get speared as well. Sikoa breaks up the Superfly Splash and lays Jey out and a spear/Spike combination puts him down again. It works so well that they do it again to end the show. That’s a nasty combination and thankfully it made me forget that I’m supposed to buy a Jey Uso spear putting Reigns down for more than half a second.

Overall Rating: C+. Not their greatest show but they’re also in a weird place with most of Summerslam already booked. There isn’t much left for them to do before the show so there wasn’t much to cover here. Reigns vs. Jey is still built around a lot of mind games and Charlotte vs. Belair vs…..oh yeah Asuka is in there too. Other than that, Summerslam is fairly light on the Smackdown side, but that battle royal is promising. They did what they needed to do this week and I’ll take that so close to Summerslam.

Results
Santos Escobar b. Rey Mysterio via referee stoppage
LA Knight b. Ashante Thee Adonis – Blunt Force Trauma
Charlotte/Bianca Belair b. Chelsea Green/Sonya Deville – Big boot to Green
Karrion Kross b. Karl Anderson – Final Prayer
Jey Uso b. Grayson Waller – Superfly Splash

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestle Kingdom XVII
Date: January 4, 2023
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Chris Charlton, Gino Gambino

It’s time to go back to New Japan for a promotion that I have not looked at since last year’s Wrestle Kingdom. As tends to be the case with this show, I’m coming in mostly blind, save for knowing the wrestlers involved. The main event is Jay White defending the IWGP World Title against Kazuchika Okada, who he took the title from back in June. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Boltin Oleg vs. Ryohei Oiwa

This is a three minute exhibition and Oleg, an amateur champion, is making his debut. They go with the grappling to start and Oleg powers him down, followed by some over the shoulder armdrags. Oiwa cranks on the arm and an armbreaker sends Oleg to the rope. Back up and Oleg grabs a slam as we go to the draw at 3:02.

Rating: C. Even commentary was saying “this is meant to go to a draw” so it is kind of the definition of getting your feet wet. I’m fine with something like this as nothing more than a warmup as Oleg seems to have some name recognition based on his amateur credentials. It’s three minutes, it came and went, no one pretended it mattered. That’s an easy way to start the night.

Pre-Show: New Japan Ranbo

This is the Royal Rumble (minute long intervals, pin/submission/over the top eliminations), with the final four moving on to a match at New Year’s Dash to crown this year’s Provisional King Of Pro Wrestling Champion. Sho is in at #1 and Hikuleo is in at #2, leaving Sho looking nervous. The forearms have little effect on Hikuleo so Show bails to the floor for some regrouping.

Evil (with Dick Togo) is in at #3, meaning Hikuleo gets to beat up two people instead of one. Tomohiro Ishii is in at #4 and stares down Hikuleo before helping Evil beat him down. Great-O-Khan is in at #5 and takes his sweet time getting to the ring as Ishii and Hikuleo fight. With Khan taking forever to get in, Douki is in at #6 and helps clear the ring without eliminating anyone.

Evil and Togo try to get rid of Ishii but Rocky Romero is in at #7 for the save. Romero gets rid of Evil and the Forever Lariats have Sho in trouble. Kenta is in at #8 and gets in a brawl with Ishii until Yoshinobu Kanemaru is in at #9. With more brawling ensuing, Aaron Henare (he’s big) is in at #10 and slugs it out with Ishii to limited avail. Ryusuke Taguchi is in at #11 and helps Henare get rid of Ishii.

Taguchi and Romero (former team) go after Henare but Jeff Cobb is in at #12 as Hikuleo gets rid of Douki and Kanemaru. Shane Haste is in at #13, with Romero countering his powerbomb attempt. Mikey Nicholls (Haste’s partner) is in at #14 and Romero is out fast. Haste and Nicholls (The Mighty Don’t Kneel) double team Taguchi for the pin as Yujiro Takahashi is in at #15.

Cobb whips Khan into Hikuleo, who gets clotheslined out as a result. Toru Yano (who has dominated a lot of this title’s history) is in at #16 as Cobb is tossed as well. There goes Haste, followed by Nicholls, leaving Khan and Henare to stand tall. El Phantasmo is in at #17 and starts raking backs (as the Dermis Destroyer). A nipple twist (yep) gets rid of Henare and it’s Taichi in at #18.

Everyone but Taichi (including some eliminated names) fight on the floor and it’s Shingo Takagi (last year’s champion who reportedly doesn’t want to be here) in to go after Taichi. I believe (as there are a lot of people outside) that leaves us with Sho, Khan, Taguchi, Takahashi, Yano, Phantasmo, Taichi and Takagi as the final group (remember the final four advance).

A bunch of people get together to dump Taichi and there goes Takahashi. Phantasmo is knocked off the apron but lands on the barricade, where Kenta (who was apparently eliminated somewhere in there) and Takahashi help him back to the apron. Takagi joins him out there and Sho accidentally knocks Phantasmo out, meaning Khan, Takagi, Sho and Yano win to advance at 30:35.

Rating: C+. This is the Wrestle Kingdom “get everyone on the show” match and it still works. What amazes me every year is that this match always flies by and it did so again here, with thirty minutes feeling like it was less than half that. It’s a fun match that gives the fans something to cheer about while also setting up something for the future. That’s more than you get on most Kickoff Show style matches so well done.

A woman tells the fans to vote for something.

Pre-Show: Yuji Nagata/Satoshi Kojima/Togi Makabe vs. Tatsumi Fujinami/Minoru Suzuki/Tiger Mask

This is the Antonio Inoki Memorial Six Man Tag and Tiger Hattori is special referee for a real bonus. Nagata and Fujinami start things off with an exchange of wristlocks. That goes nowhere so Nagata shoulders him down, only to get dropped as well. Suzuki comes in to slug it out with Nagata.

Tiger Mask gets in a few kicks and it’s Nagata getting beaten down in the corner by a rotating cast. Nagata manages a suplex so Kojima can come in to chop Suzuki in the corner. This proves to be rather stupid as Suzuki glares at him and laughs at the idea of a forearm off. Tiger Mask comes in for the tiger driver and a near fall, only to get caught in the Kojicutter.

It’s off to Makabe as everything breaks down, with Nagata and company getting caught in stereo holds. All of those are broken up until Tiger Mask crucifixed Makabe for two. Suzuki catches Makabe on top so Tiger Mask tries a…something that doesn’t work, allowing Makabe to cradle him for the pin at 9:07.

Rating: C. Much like the other two matches, I don’t think this one was entirely meant to be taken seriously. This was much more about getting some legends in there for the sake of honoring the most important person the company has ever seen. That is completely understandable so soon after Inoki’s passing and the match was certainly watchable, if a bit formulaic.

Post match, Fujinami welcomes the fans to the show and honors Inoki.

We start with a tribute to Antonio Inoki, as you had to know was coming.

The opening video, if you can call it that, runs down the card, in order. As per tradition, I’m still not sure if I like that or not.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Catch 2/2 vs. LiYoh

Catch 2/2 (TJP/Francesco Akira), of the United Empire, is defending against Lio Rush/Yoh (who are an unlikely team that managed to win the Super Junior Tag League to get this shot). It’s a wild fight to start with Rush dropping TJP and taking Akira up the ramp, where Akira plants him face first on the steel ramp. Back in and Yoh fights them off for a bit, only to get caught in the wrong corner.

Akira hits a rope walk Tree of Woe dropkick to send Yoh outside, setting up Take A Picture (kind of a toss from the apron hip attack). The busted open Rush is picked up as TJP hits a Shinjiro Otani to Yoh but Rush cuts him off with a spear. Rush comes in off the tag and picks the pace way up, including the Tajiri handspring elbow to both champs. Suicide dives take out both of them again and it’s back to Yoh, whose superkick is cut off. Everything breaks down and everyone but TJP is knocked down.

Back up and a powerbomb/suplex combination drops Yoh but Rush makes the save with the Final Hour. The 3K (3D into a Downward Spiral) connects on Akira, only to have TJP come in with the Mamba Splash for the save. The Detonation Kick gets two on Yoh but the Leaning Tower is countered with a poisonrana. Another 3K gets another two but TJP is right back with a small package to pin Yoh and retain at 10:31.

Rating: B-. That’s a smart way to open the show as it was all energy and they didn’t bother wasting time with anything fancy. 2/2 is a good team and they did their thing here. Rush’s eye being busted open is what is going to be remembered here as it was a gusher, but other than that you had a ten minute match which I feel like I’ve seen several times before.

IWGP Women’s Title: Kairi vs. Tam Nakano

Kairi (formerly Sane) is defending and this is Stardom’s portion of the show. Kairi is in her pirate gear, complete with…Grim Reapers? They fight over a lockup to start until Nakano grabs a headlock. A basement dropkick puts Kairi down and Nakano gets to give her what might be described as a cute stare.

Back up and Kairi sends her into the corner for the sliding forearm but charges into a spinning kick to the face. With Kairi outside, Nakano hits a dive (left a bit low), followed by a Steiner Screwdriver for two back inside. That’s quite the kickout move less than five minutes in but Kairi is back up with a spinning backfist for two of her own. The Insane Elbow retains the title at 5:57.

Rating: C+. They went through this as fast as they could as they didn’t have much time here. Kairi is still rather good in the ring and I’ve heard good things about Nakano. The Screwdriver was weird and felt like something they were trying to squeeze in whether it fit there or not. For a fast match though and what I believe is the first women’s match ever at Wrestle Kingdom, it went well.

Post match the lights go out and Mercedes Mone (Sasha Banks) debuts, shocking….I’m sure there is someone there who didn’t know this was coming. Thankfully commentary acknowledges that it wasn’t a surprise as they have the staredown with Kairi holding the title in the air.

Mone pulls her into what looked like a Gory Stretch spun into a faceplant (or it might have been some kind of an armbar that didn’t go right). That leaves Mone to introduce herself as the CEO of the women’s division. She’s coming for the title in San Jose next month and you can bank on it. That was certainly a debut but it didn’t quite blow the roof off.

IWGP Tag Team Titles: Bishamon vs. FTR

Bishamon (Hirooki Goto/Yoshi-Hashi of Chaos) are challenging and commentary tells us about FTR’s travel issues getting here. Hashi shoulders Wheeler down to start so we’ll try Harwood vs. Goto instead. That doesn’t last long as Hashi comes back in for the double team, only to have it broken up just as fast.

The champs send them outside for a dive, setting up the PowerPlex for two on Goto. A powerbomb into a bridging dragon suplex gets two with Hashi making the save. The Big Rig is broken up though and Goto hits the fireman’s carry backbreaker for a breather. Harwood comes in off the blind tag and gets taken down with a running neckbreaker.

Bishamon’s Sho Tow (I think?) finisher is broken up and it’s a Big Rig for two on Goto. Wheeler and Hashi suplex each other to the floor, leaving Goto to fight out of a piledriver attempt. Another piledriver attempt works just fine, followed by the spike piledriver for two with Hashi making the save. Another Big Rig is broken up and it’s Sho Tow to Harwood for the pin and the titles at 10:05.

Rating: B-. And thus FTR’s downfall continues as they are now out of titles after holding a bunch of them for several months. The good thing is that they lost them in another solid match, which shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest. Bishamon winning the titles is fine as commentary hyped them up as the best team in Japan. Give them the titles so FTR, who seem to be more guest stars than anything else, can head back to AEW and sit around some more.

TV Title: Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Ren Narita

Tournament final for the inaugural title with a fifteen minute time limit, meaning a draw will require a rematch at a later date. They both fight for a cross armbreaker attempt to start before Sabre’s penalty kick misses, giving us a standoff. Narita kicks him down but Sabre is right back up with a twist of the arm.

A belly to belly gets Narita out of trouble for a few seconds but he can’t hook an abdominal stretch. They trade kicks to the back, with Narita sitting down so Sabre can hit his own. An exchange of kicks to the chest goes to Sabre but Narita goes after Sabre’s arm for a change and a double knockdown.

Back up and a bridging t-bone suplex gives Narita two but Sabre pulls him down by the leg. Sabre can’t get a triangle choke so Narita hits him in the face. They trade snap German suplexes but Narita misses a running spinwheel kick. Back to back German suplexes are no sold so they fight over another abdominal stretch, only to have Sabre switch to an armbar for the tap at 10:30.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t feeling this one very much as it was a lot of both guys doing the same thing and often popping up right after. Sabre is good at tormenting people with his holds but that wasn’t really on display here. Narita is someone who has come a long way in a short amount of time, but it wasn’t exactly an awesome showcase.

Post match the Mighty Don’t Kneel come out to offer Sabre a spot on the team and the shirt goes on.

Never Openweight Title: Karl Anderson vs. Tama Tonga

Tonga, with Jado, is challenging and gets decked before the bell. Anderson drops him on the barricade and throws him over before going back inside to pose a bit. The Burner (Rikishi) Driver on the ramp knocks Tonga silly again, leaving Anderson to chant his own name. Tonga blocks a Gun Stun on the ramp though and they fight to the apron for a slugout.

They slug it out on the apron with Tonga getting the better of things before hammering away in the corner. A charge misses though and Anderson hits the HI YAH kick. They head up top with Tonga knocking him down, setting up a top rope clothesline. Supreme Flow gives Tonga two and they run the ropes, only to have Anderson’s Gun Stun blocked. A middle rope Gun Stun to Anderson sets up a regular one (with Tonga slipping off, making it look like Anderson shoved him off) to give Tonga the pin and the title at 9:33.

Rating: C. This felt like a match that had a lot more history behind it and if that is the case, fair enough. Tonga winning makes sense as Anderson is in WWE full time so put the title on someone who is going to be around. Good enough match here, but that ending didn’t exactly do it any favors.

Keiji Muto/Hiroshi Tanahashi/Shota Umino vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon

This is Muto’s (Great Muta, but in normal form) final New Japan match. Muto and Sanada start things off with a teased Too Sweet but Sanada takes out the bad knee. A springboard dropkick takes Muto down again, only to have Muto grab a backsplash. The moonsault is loaded up but Tanahashi calls Muto off for the sake of his knees.

Instead Muto snapmares him down and hits the Power Drive elbow. Tanahashi comes in for the springboard spinning crossbody but Naito takes him down. A basement dropkick rocks Tanahashi again and we slow things down. Bushi’s neckbreaker gets two but Tanahashi gets in a dragon screw legwhip on Naito. That’s enough for the tag off to Umino to pick the pace way up and clean house.

Everything breaks down and Los Ingobernables get caught in triple submissions but a rope break leads to the triple escape. Bushi missile dropkicks Umino and Bushiroonis (just go with it) up. Tanahashi comes back in with some Twists and Shouts, setting up Muto’s Shining Wizard on Bushi. Umino adds the Death Rider for the pin at 9:21.

Rating: C+. This was rather formula until the end when everything broke down and the good guys dominated, as they should. There was a grand total of no way that Muto’s team was going to lose in his last match in the promotion so the result was little more than waiting for the obvious ending than anything else. Giving Umino the pin was a nice moment and it isn’t like there is any shame in losing to Muto in his last match around here.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Hiromu Takahashi vs. Master Wato vs. El Desperado vs. Taiji Ishimori

Ishimori is defending and this is one fall to a finish. They start fast (I sense a theme beginning here) with Takahashi and Desperado running Wato over. An exchange of rollups give us a big standoff as we hear about a fight backstage, possibly involving Tetsuya Naito. Ishimori bails to the ramp for a breather and that’s not cool with everyone else, meaning the chase is on. That’s fine with Ishimori, as the fight breaks out on the ramp and Ishimori is the only one to get back inside unscathed.

Back in and Desperado goes after Ishimori’s knee but the other two make a save. Wato strikes away at Takahashi and sends him outside, meaning it’s time for the string of dives. Takahashi caps it off with a huge dive off the top to put everyone down before they all head back inside. A series of strikes leads to Desperado hitting something like a Blue Thunder Bomb on Ishimori.

Desperado punches Wato down and everyone is on the mat as we hear about Los Ingobernables getting in a backstage fight with the Kongoh stable of Pro Wrestling Noah (right before the New Japan vs. Noah show as luck would have it). The four way chop off is on until Takahashi and Desperado are sent outside. Wato kicks Ishimori down and goes up top, only to get pulled down in a Tower of Doom as Takahashi comes back in.

Desperado joins everyone else and goes after Takahashi, setting up an Angel’s Wings for two. Takahashi grabs the Time Bomb for two of his own but Wato is back in with a tiger suplex into a crucifix for two more as Ishimori pulls the ref. Back up and a SCARY German suplex gives Wato two on Takahashi, who is right back up with the Time Bomb II for the pin at 16:39.

Rating: B. They were flying through most of this and it didn’t feel nearly as long as it was, but there were quite a few times where they stopped, which stood out a bit. That being said, I’d call it more than acceptable when they were going that fast. All that being said, this is the fourth time Takahashi has won the belt at Wrestle Kingdom, to the point where I was actually thinking “Really? Again?” when he won here. Very good match, but maybe let someone else get this spot next time.

IWGP United States Title: Kenny Omega vs. Will Ospreay

Ospreay, with the United Empire, is defending and this is a pretty long time in the making. Don Callis joins commentary (great) as Ospreay headlocks him to the mat. Ospreay tries to pick up the pace but gets knocked off the apron, sending him hard into the barricade. Back in and Omega kicks him down and rips off a turnbuckle pad. Omega hits a hard backbreaker to cut Ospreay off again, only to have him come back with a hot shot.

A big boot and cutter drop Omega and a Phenomenal Forearm does it again. Ospreay kicks him to the apron for a strike off, only to miss the middle rope Oscutter. Omega puts a table on top of Ospreay on the floor and strikes away even more. That’s fine with Ospreay, who knocks him away and goes up top for a Sky Twister to drop Omega again. Back in and the Hidden Blade gives Ospreay two but he still can’t hit the Oscutter.

Omega is fine enough to grab the Snapdragon for two and they’re both a bit winded. Back up and Omega takes him up top but Ospreay flips out of the top rope dragon superplex. The Oscutter finally connects for two and there are some HARD Cheeky Nandos kicks to keep Omega in trouble. Ospreay goes up again but this time Omega DDTs him onto the exposed buckle, drawing a good deal of blood. There is blood all over the floor as Omega hits the Rise of the Terminator.

Ospreay is sent head first through the table (leaving a big hole in the middle) before the beating continues back inside. There’s the Snapdragon into a V Trigger, with Callis complaining about a slow near fall. Omega goes up top but Ospreay stumbles into the ropes to crotch him down. Ospreay goes up as well but gets dropped face first into the buckle again (ouch).

Another V Trigger looks to set up a super One Winged Angel. Since that would, you know, kill Ospreay, it’s a super German suplex instead. Another V Trigger seems to wake Ospreay up as he strikes away, including a big shot to drop Omega. The Hidden Blade gets two on Omega, followed by a Styles Clash for the same. Another Hidden Blade misses and they strike each other down while holding wrists. More strikes set up a V Trigger and the One Winged Angel to give Omega the pin and the title at 34:38.

Rating: A-. This was a different match than I was expecting as they didn’t go as nuts with the flying and instead focused on the hard hitting fight. Omega is a lot easier to watch around here, as he goes a lot more serious and actually feels like he is having a match instead of a performance, making it that much better. Ospreay got in some of his high flying to go with the strikes, but that blood is what is going to be remembered. Heck of a match here and it felt worthy of Wrestle Kingdom.

We recap Kazuchika Okada challenging Jay White for the IWGP World Title. White took the title from him last year and now Okada wants it back. Game on.

IWGP World Heavyweight Title: Jay White vs. Kazuchika Okada

White, with Gedo, is defending and Rocky Romero is on commentary. They glare at each other to start until Okada shrugs off a chop. Okada takes him down but Gedo pulls White away from a running something. White gets in a shot of his own though and we hit the chinlock. A DDT gives White two and he drives Okada into the barricade for two, which he shouts over and over again.

After some chops, he adds a SWEET, only to have Okada come back with a DDT of his own. Okada grabs a flapjack and dropkicks White off the top to send him outside. Back in and a missile dropkick sets up the Money Clip, which is broken up just as fast. White is back with a swinging suplex, leaving commentary thinking White wants the fans to cheer him. The chinlock goes on before White goes after the knee for a change.

The knee is fine enough for Okada to hit his dropkick though, followed by the spinning Tombstone. White is sent outside for a top rope flip dive but he’s smart/beaten up enough to drop to the ground before the Rainmaker. Okada tries it again but this time White spits in his face, setting up a swinging Rock Bottom to put Okada down for a change. Back up and Okada grabs the arm for back to back clotheslines, only to have the Rainmaker countered into the Blade Runner.

Another Blade Runner is blocked so White hits his own standing clotheslines. Now it’s White doing the Rainmaker pose, allowing Okada to hit the real thing for a close two. White wins a strike out and says Okada isn’t taking this from him. They slug it out until Okada hits his own Blade Runner, followed by a Cobra Flosion. The Rainmaker gives Okada the title back at 33:04.

Rating: A-. Another very good match as White continues to feel like a star. Then you have Okada who is….well he’s Okada, and that is about all you need to say about him. This didn’t quite hit the top level that some Wrestle Kingdom main events have reached in the past, but I’ll take a near classic to close out the show any day. Much like Takahashi winning again though, seeing Okada win the World Title again isn’t the most exciting result. Great match though and that’s all that matters.

Post match White pulls himself up and actually seems to show some respect. With White gone, Shingo Takagi comes out to issue the challenge for February 1 (commentary seems a bit confused by Takagi picking that date). With Takagi gone, Okada asks if Antonio Inoki saw the matches and thanks the fans to wrap things up. Actually hang on, as we’ll get in one more Inoki chant to really finish it off.

Commentary talks a lot, as tends to be the case.

Overall Rating: A. It’s not quite at the same level as previous Wrestle Kingdoms but how can you complain about something this good? The last two matches were both great and there was more than enough that was either solid to near awesome throughout. Nothing was bad, but perhaps more importantly, this FELT like a Wrestle Kingdom. Maybe it’s the fans cheering or maybe it’s having the show on one night again, but this was another blast, as tends to be the case with Wrestle Kingdom.

Results
Boltin Oleg vs. Ryohei Oiwa went to a time limit draw
Great-O-Khan, Shingo Takagi, Sho and Toru Yano won the New Japan Ranbo
Togi Makabe/Yuji Nagata/Satoshi Kojima b. Tatsumi Fujinami/Minoru Suzuki/Tiger Mask – rollup to Tiger Mask
2/2 b. LiYoh – Small package to Yoh
Kairi b. Tam Nakano – Insane Elbow
Bishamon b. FTR – Sho Tow to Harwood
Zack Sabre Jr. b. Ren Narita – Armbar
Tama Tonga b. Karl Anderson – Gun Stun
Keiji Muto/Shota Umino/Hiroshi Tanahashi b. Los Ingobernables de Japon – Death Rider to Bushi
Hiroshi Takahashi b. Master Wato, El Desperado and Taiji Ishimori – Time Bomb II to Wato
Kenny Omega b. Will Ospreay – One Winged Angel
Kazuchika Okada b. Jay White – Rainmaker

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2022
Location: America Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Corey Graves

We’re on the way to Crown Jewel but first we need a big stop for Halloween. This is going to include the traditional Trick Or Street Fight, this time between Matt Riddle and Otis, but also an appearance from Roman Reigns. Hopefully it involves the Bloodline and not Logan Paul, but we might not be that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Bianca Belair vs. Nikki Cross

Non-title. Belair drives her into the corner to start so Cross sticks her head out and shouts at Belair to hit her. That’s fine with Belair, who hammers away but gets taken outside for a tie up in the ring skirt as we take a break. Back with Belair managing a suplex but favoring her leg.

Said leg is fine enough to hit the handspring moonsault but Cross grabs a choke. They crash out to the floor to break it up but here are Iyo Sky and Dakota Kai to distract the referee, allowing Bayley to sneak in and post Belair. Cross beats up Damage Ctrl but walks into the KOD to give Belair the pin at 9:26.

Rating: C. Kind of a weird match here as Cross is back but has already lost her first match. The good thing about Cross is she is the kind of agent of chaos who can lose matches and still be enough of a force that it doesn’t really matter. You don’t need her to beat Belair of course, but the result was a bit disheartening.

Post match Damage Ctrl comes in for the beatdown but Asuka and Alexa Bliss return for the save.

We look back at Brock Lesnar returning and going after Bobby Lashley.

Asuka and Alexa Bliss have Bianca Belair’s back but also want a Tag Team Title match tonight.

We get a split screen sitdown interview with Brock Lesnar and Bobby Lashley…..minus Lesnar. Lashley talks about being ready to prove he is more than just a Lesnar knockoff but here is the real Lesnar in the arena. Lesnar gets to the point: he isn’t here for an interview but rather for a fight, so here comes Lashley. The fight is on in the aisle with wrestlers and referees trying to split them up. Even HHH comes out but Lesnar can’t be held back. They’re finally separated after a big man brawl.

Austin Theory vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and the result of Rollins not having the best things to say about Theory on commentary last week. Rollins sweeps the leg down to start and grabs a headlock. It’s too early for a Pedigree though and Theory bails out to the floor. Rollins heads outside and gets rammed into things to put Theory in control as we take a break.

Back with Rollins hitting a suicide dive, followed by the basement superkick for two. Rollins loads up the Pedigree but gets reversed into a brainbuster onto the knee for two more. A standing Blockbuster gives Theory two and the fans think this is awesome. A Town Down is broken up but Theory blasts him with a superkick and a forearm for the double knockdown. With nothing else working, Theory tries his own Pedigree but gets reversed into the Stomp to give Rollins the pin at 14:50.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a match and the kind of match that Theory has been needing. No he didn’t win, but he was able to feel like he fit in with one of the biggest stars in WWE today. They were trading one big move after another and it made for a rather good match. I could still go for Theory winning one of these big matches, but I’ll take this over him losing every time.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for a chat. The fans chant UCEY but Reigns assures them that Jey Uso will be a much more ucey man soon. That brings Reigns to Crown Jewel, where he is facing someone with two matches under his belt. Reigns laughs off the Logan Paul threat but Heyman sounds a bit more worried. Cue the Miz, who says he knows Logan Paul better than anyone and offers an alliance with Reigns. All Reigns has to do is help Miz against Mustafa Ali and he’ll teach Reigns everything there is to know about Logan Paul. One Superman Punch later and Reigns says he isn’t interested.

Post break, Miz is in the trainer’s room and doesn’t want Johnny Gargano’s video on Miz and Dexter Lumis airing. Mustafa Ali comes in to comment on the rather small size of Miz’s testicles.

Karl Anderson vs. Damian Priest

The rest of the OC and the Judgment Day are here too. It’s a brawl to start and they head outside, where a Judgment Day distraction lets Priest get in a cheap shot. We come back with Anderson fighting up but a Rhea Ripley distraction lets Priest take him down again. The Reckoning is loaded up but Anderson reverses into a cradle for the pin at 7:15.

Rating: C. A lot of this match was during the break but it was nice to have the OC get a win before what is likely going to be a bad loss at Crown Jewel. A member of Judgment Day losing to a fluke rollup isn’t going to hurt him that much, even if it is to someone other than AJ Styles. Still though, not much of a match here but the result was the right call.

Post match the brawl is on with Ripley being left alone for the Judgment Day but AJ Styles and Anderson can’t do anything. The rest of Judgment Day gets back up and the big beatdown is on.

MVP laughs off the idea of Braun Strowman beating Omos at Crown Jewel. MVP will be at Smackdown with a surprise for Strowman.

Here is JBL to suck up to the Texas fans by listing off various Texas sports teams and legends. Then he insults kids who go door to door begging for food on Halloween, which is what this safe space generation doesn’t need. No one here in this arena deserves to be called a Texan. As for everyone here, get on your feet for Baron Corbin!

Cue Corbin, to thank everyone for spending their last dollar to come spend every last dollar they have and the truth is…..and cue R-Truth. This would be cowboy R-Truth, complete with a horse between his legs. JBL calls Truth a buffoon but Truth wants to know what is up with the costumes. The fight is on and JBL throws his hat at Truth, allowing Corbin to hit the End of Days. At least it wasn’t a match.

Nikki Cross is with Damage Ctrl.

Matt Riddle vs. Otis

This is a Trick Or Street Fight (meaning a bunch of pumpkins and various Halloween things are around the ring) and Riddle, with Elias, is dressed as Ezekiel. Chad Gable is here with Otis and….they’re Chippendale Dancers, ala Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley from Saturday Night Live.

They fight to the floor early and take a rather quick break. Back with Otis working on a neck crank but Riddle is back with a knee. Otis runs him over and hits a Worm but Riddle is back up with a candy corn kendo stick. A World’s Strongest Slam plants Riddle but Elias sends Gable through a table. The distraction lets Elias put a pumpkin on Otis’ head, setting up the RKO to give Riddle the pin at 7:38.

Rating: C. This was another quick match that didn’t do much but the weird thing was the Halloween theme after an otherwise mostly serious show. I get the idea of having the Halloween match and that’s cool, but it’s still something that feels like it belongs on another show. For now though, Riddle getting a nice win is good for him and it isn’t like Otis has anything to lose. Even with a pumpkin on his head.

Bayley gives the rest of Damage Ctrl a pep talk.

Miz vs. Mustafa Ali

Miz is a big banged up after Reigns hit him in the face earlier but he’s fine enough to sucker Ali in to stomp away. Ali threatens a shot to the face and rolls Miz up for two. The rolling neckbreaker gives Ali two but he has to bail out of the 450. Miz rakes the eyes and sends him face first into the buckle as we take a break.

Back with Ali shrugging off the YES Kicks so Miz plants him with a DDT for two. Ali sends him outside and hits a dive before they fight over the announcers’ table. Cue Dexter Lumis to go after Miz before security chases him off. That lets Ali knock Miz down and hit the 450 for the pin at 10:04.

Rating: C. So Ali wins but it doesn’t really feel like it means anything for him. Instead, it comes off as the next chapter in the Miz vs. Dexter Lumis deal, which isn’t the best way to go. I’ll take it over Ali coming up this short again though, which has happened far too often over the last few months. Make these wins feel like they matter and we could actually get somewhere with him.

And now, WWE Investigates, looking at Dexter Lumis and the Miz. Byron Saxton talks to Johnny Gargano, who claims to have bombshell news. Gargano talks about knowing Lumis for years, including various clips of The Way’s wacky antics. Then Lumis lost his job and fell on hard times. We get a re-enactment of Lumis as an artist on the street, with Miz offering him $10,000 to fake the whole stalking ordeal for….some purpose.

Gargano even produces a recording of Miz talking to Lumis (who doesn’t talk) about the whole plan. Gargano shows clips, suggesting that Miz is just doing this for attention. Then somewhere, at least Gargano thinks, Miz stopped paying Lumis and the whole thing fell apart, with Lumis wanting his money. This was certainly a way to go and it’s actually a way out of explaining the whole nutty deal so I’ll take it. I’m not sure if it’s the most logical or even a good way to go, but this should be better than some of their other ideas. I think.

Crown Jewel rundown, with Bray Wyatt announced for an appearance.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Damage Ctrl vs. Alexa Bliss/Asuka

Bliss/Asuka, with Bianca Belair, are challenging and Bayley is here with the champs. Bliss stomps Sky into the corner to start and the fight is on fast but Sky is back up with a dropkick to the ribs. Kai comes in to stay on the ribs but Bliss fights up and brings Asuka in to clean house. A quick suplex drops Kai and a clothesline cuts her off again.

The champs are knocked outside but Kai is able to dropkick Bliss down as well. Asuka kicks away at Sky but gets taken down with a dragon screw legwhip as we take a break. Back with Asuka rolling Sky up for two and the hot tag brings in Bliss to clean house. Bliss Code Reds Kai out of the corner for two and it’s back to Asuka. Sky crushes her in the corner, setting up the springboard missile dropkick for two.

Asuka Codebreakers her out of the air and grabs the Asuka Lock, but the distracted referee doesn’t notice the tap. Bayley and Belair fight onto a box near the timekeeper’s area, where a Bayley to Belly sends Belair through a table. Back in the ring and Kai kicks Asuka in the face, only to get sent into the steps by Bliss. Asuka kicks Sky in the head and Bliss goes up top for Twisted Bliss and the titles at 16:21.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly nice match which got some time and ended with a surprise title change. At the end of the day, it isn’t like Damage Ctrl needed to have the titles and the change is a good thing. Bliss and Asuka get to come back and get their revenge plus the titles, making this a rather logical way to go.

Pyro goes off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It wasn’t a great Raw and other than one or two spots, the Halloween aspect was barely a factor. That being said, I’ll take what we got over a bunch of lame Halloween jokes (ala a Halloween party). They do really need to get past the Logan Paul stuff though, as it comes off as such a lame detour from what could be a lot of good options otherwise. Outside from that, Crown Jewel is set and we should be in for a nice show. That was mostly the case here, but other than the Rollins vs. Theory match, you’re probably better off just looking at a recap.

Results
Bianca Belair b. Nikki Cross – KOD
Seth Rollins b. Austin Theory – Stomp
Karl Anderson b. Damian Priest – Rollup
Matt Riddle b. Otis – RKO
Mustafa Ali b. The Miz – 450
Asuka/Alexa Bliss b. Damage Ctrl – Twisted Bliss to Sky

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 24, 2022
Location: Spectrum Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Corey Graves, Kevin Patrick

We are less than two weeks away from Crown Jewel and that means the card is going to need a little more build up. Two more matches were added last week and now we are probably going to get either some build towards those matches and/or even more matches added. That is what the show needs so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Judgment Day to get things going. Rhea Ripley says that last week, AJ Styles found out that Judgment Day runs Monday Night Raw and that Dominik Mysterio is all man. Damian Priest wants the people to rise for the greatest luchador of all time. Dominik says these are the only people who ever believed in him and says last week was proof that Eddie Guerrero was his generation’s Dominik Mysterio. Cue the OC to say Dominik is stupid because he’s more like the James Ellsworth of this generation. Karl Anderson is ready to face Finn Balor right now so let’s do this.

Karl Anderson vs. Finn Balor

Everyone else is at ringside and Anderson knocks him outside as we take an early break. Back with Anderson fighting out of the corner and dropkicking Balor in the knee. A kick to the leg sends Balor to the apron and Anderson twists the leg around the middle rope. Balor knocks him down and hits some forearms to the back of the neck to set up the chinlock.

Back up and Anderson hits an uppercut to the face and adds the spinebuster for two. We take another break and come back with Anderson powerbombing him out of the corner but Balor reverses a fireman’s carry into a Nightmare on Helm Street. Balor’s kick in the corner is countered and Anderson’s middle rope neckbreaker gets two.

Balor is back up with a Sling Blade into the dropkick in the corner but Anderson catches him on top. A superplex drops Balor so Judgment Day offers a distraction, meaning the fight is on outside. Ripley posts Gallows and slams him on the floor (dang) as Dominik distracts the referee. Anderson fireman’s carries Balor but gets low blowed by Ripley to give Balor the pin at 17:09.

Rating: B. This was a long, back and forth match with the ending being what it should have been. Anderson is better on his own than he is as part of a team and he got to showcase himself well here. The good thing is that Anderson was protected in a loss and both teams are ready to go on the way to Crown Jewel. Heck of a match here and it didn’t feel nearly as long as it was.

We recap Miz attacking Dexter Lumis last week and Johnny Gargano saying he knows what’s going on.

Johnny Gargano mocks Miz, saying he knows what’s going on between Miz and Dexter Lumis. Miz says there’s nothing going on and he’s going to go tell the truth.

Here is Miz for a chat/explanation. Miz admits that Johnny Gargano is right and he has been keeping a secret, but first let’s recap. We hear about some of the things that Dexter Lumis has been doing to him before Miz says that this is all because of Tommaso Ciampa. Miz chose to mentor Ciampa instead of Lumis and now Lumis is out for revenge. Also, if anyone has seen Ciampa, send him back!

Cue Johnny Gargano to say Ciampa isn’t missing but rather injured, so Miz is just a huge liar. If Miz wants Lumis and Gargano out of his life, all he has to do is tell the truth. Gargano loads up the whistle….and it’s R-Truth interrupting (Gargano is very confused). Truth wants to talk about the truth but Miz isn’t going to talk down about Truth’s hometown comfort food. Truth: “You aren’t talking down about my North Carolina mac and cheese!” The challenge is on and Truth/Gargano say Miz can’t handle the truth.

R-Truth vs. The Miz

Miz jumps him to start but Truth takes him down ala John Cena. You Can’t See Me takes too long though and Miz is back up with a running knee. Then Dexter Lumis, or someone who looks like him, pops up near ringside to distract Miz so Truth grabs a rollup pin at 2:54. Nice to see a hometown win.

It’s Johnny Gargano instead of Lumis.

We get a sitdown interview with Candice LeRae who is thrilled to be back in WWE. She can’t believe she made it to Raw but here is Damage Ctrl to interrupt. Bayley talks about the people they’ve put on the shelf but Candice thinks all Bayley is missing is the Raw Women’s Title. The beatdown is quickly on.

Elias runs into Matt Riddle and his bongos, who still wants the two of them to jam together. Elias is willing to let last week slide but Riddle says he has been hitting the bongs all week. Cue the Alpha Academy to tell them to SHUSH so the argument sets up the challenge for later.

Austin Theory vs. Mustafa Ali

Hold on though as Seth Rollins comes out to join commentary. Theory knocks him into the corner to start but Ali is back up with a spinning headscissors into another corner. An elbow to the face sets up an elbow on the apron though and Ali is in trouble as we take a break. Back with Ali being sent outside, leaving Theory to pick up his phone.

Some picture taking allows Ali to hit a dropkick to the floor, setting up the top rope flip dive. Ali strikes away back inside and hits the rolling neckbreaker for two. A tornado DDT gets two but Theory pulls him into a brainbuster onto the knee for two more. Ali takes him down and goes up but Rollins’ distraction sets up A Town Down to give Theory the pin at 12:00.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see Theory get a win for a change, even if it’s over Ali, who probably needs the win even more. Again though it wasn’t a clean fall so it could have been worse, and you can probably pencil in Ali for the title shot at Crown Jewel, or at least on a big Raw. Now just let Ali beat someone on the way to the title shot.

Post match Rollins beats up Ali a bit before walking away….where Ali manages to jump him near the stage. The brawl is on with Rollins being sent into the video screen.

Miz comes up to Johnny Gargano in the back and wants to know what’s up with that. Miz leaves and it’s JBL and Baron Corbin taking his place. JBL wants Gargano to stop messing with Miz and show him some respect. Gargano shakes JBL’s hand and calls him MC Hammer Pants. He isn’t sure what Corbin is calling himself now either and that seems to set up a match later.

Video on Bianca Belair vs. Bayley before their match later tonight.

Omos vs. ???/???/???/???

MVP is here with Omos and talks about Omos’ recent showdown with Braun Strowman. The four victims are called over, with MVP telling them to look at Omos’ hands. Threats are made but let’s ring the bell. The beating is on and all four going after Omos at once completely fails. Big boots and elbows have the four down and a chokebomb gives Omos the double pin at 1:42. That’s how you make a monster look dominant.

Elias vs. Chad Gable

Otis is here with Gable, who wrestles Elias down without much trouble to start. Elias can’t get a backslide but can hit a suplex for two. Back up and Otis low bridges Elias to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Gable hitting a Swan Dive but Elias fights up with elbows to the face. A splash in the corner but Gable pulls him into an ankle lock. With that broken up, Gable pulls him into a Razor’s Edge, which is flipped forward into a DDT for two. Gable goes up top but gets kneed out of the air for a rather near fall. Elias’ swinging suplex finishes at 8:32.

Rating: C+. That knee probably should have finished it but Elias getting the win is the right choice. Elias is freshly back after being gone for a long time so he needs the win, even if it is over someone who loses a lot more often than he wins. I’m not sure how far Elias is going to go in his latest run, but at least it is off to a decent starts.

Post match the beatdown is on but Riddle runs in to save Elias.

We look back at the OC/Judgment Day sequence.

The OC is in the trainer’s room and AJ Styles says they have a Rhea problem. Worry not though as Luke Gallows says he has a way with women and can solve this. Styles: “He’s terrible with women!”

Post break, Gallows is back, apparently having suffered a low blow from….I’m guessing Rhea Ripley. More planning is needed.

Johnny Gargano vs. Baron Corbin

Before the match, JBL mocks millennials who want safe spaces and makes fun of Charlotte’s professional sports teams. JBL sits in on commentary as Gargano is sent into the corner but comes out with a rollup for two. A running hurricanrana sets up a dropkick to send Corbin outside for the suicide dive. One Final beat is blocked with a right hand to the floor though and Corbin takes over while slowing things down.

Gargano manages a discus forearm and a dropkick sends Corbin back to the floor. The apron superkick sets up a dive, which is pulled out of the air and Gargano is planted on the announcers’ table. We take a break and come back with Corbin hitting his torture rack neckbreaker for two. Corbin misses a charge in the corner and Gargano hits a bulldog for a breather.

The slingshot spear gives Gargano two but Corbin is right back with Deep Six for two of his own. The slid under the ropes clothesline is countered with a superkick to give Gargano two more. They head outside with Gargano sending him into the steps, then stealing JBL’s hat for some dancing. A tornado DDT off the announcers’ table drops Corbin again but JBL breaks up One Final Beat. End of Days finishes Gargano at 14:09.

Rating: C+. For those of you keeping track, we have now had six matches tonight and four of them have ended in some kind of distraction/interference finish to set up the pin. Corbin seems to be the bigger priority right now and the question was more about would it be JBL or Miz costing Gargano. I don’t like Gargano losing, but at least he’s on Raw.

Post break, Miz comes up to Johnny Gargano with a get well card for Candice LeRae. Miz is willing to tell the truth next week, but Gargano will do it if Miz doesn’t. And Miz didn’t even sign the card!

We get a long video on Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley, looking at how similar they are and how dominant both of them have been, setting up their match at Crown Jewel.

Bayley vs. Bianca Belair

Non-title and Bayley has Damage Ctrl with her. Feeling out process to start until Belair powers her to the mat. A slam drops Bayley and we slow down a bit until Belair runs her over again. Belair can’t roll some suplexes though as Bayley pulls her into a crossface. That’s countered into a backbreaker for a breather and Bayley gets dropped on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Belair fighting out of a chinlock but getting taken down by a clothesline to the back of the head. A suplex from the apron to the floor puts Belair down again and Bayley starts in on the arm. Belair’s arm is wrapped around the rope and then twisted a bit, followed by more around the rope cranking. A suplex drops Bayley to give Belair a breather and the right hands in the corner put her in more trouble.

Bayley gets smart by pulling the braid but the Bayley to Belly is blocked. Belair’s handspring moonsault only hits knees but so does Bayley’s middle rope elbow. Now the handspring moonsault can connect for two and they head back outside, where Bayley cranks her down by the arm again.

We take another break and come back again with Bayley snapping the arm over the top but not being able to hit her own KOD. Instead Belair hits her own Bayley to Belly for two. A spinebuster gives Belair two more but a Sky distraction lets Bayley hit a super Bayley to Belly for a rather close two. Damage Ctrl loads up the announcers’ table but Belair powerbombs Bayley onto (not through) the table.

Another powerbomb against the post sets up a face first drop onto the apron. Sky gets in a distraction though and Kai kicks Belair in the face. Back in and…the referee ejects both of them as Nikki Ash dives off the top onto Damage Ctrl and the referee. Back in and the Rose Plant is countered into the KOD for no count as the referee is still down. Nikki (Cross, not Ash, and with no mask) comes back in and DDTs Belair so Bayley can steal the pin at 23:10.

Rating: B. This had the time and the ending, while the fifth instance of interference/some kind of a distraction tonight, has me interested in where things are going. Bayley had to win here as she had come back as a big deal but it doesn’t matter much if she keeps losing to Belair. At the same time, Belair was being booked a bit too strong when she survived against all three members of Damage Ctrl at Extreme Rules. This is the right way to go and there is a good chance that you can see the women’s WarGames match from here.

Post match Nikki comes back in and beats on Bayley as well with those nutty eyes being back for a change.

Overall Rating: B-. While the finish choices could certainly use some work, this was a rather good show with a pair of solid matches. They also gave us something important with the main event return and advanced a few stories along the way. It might not have been a classic show, but it was an efficient use of three hours and that is not a bad way to spend a Monday night.

Results
Finn Balor b. Karl Anderson – Low blow from Rhea Ripley
R-Truth b. Miz – Rollup
Austin Theory b. Mustafa Ali – A Town Down
Omos b. ???/???/???/??? – Double pin
Elias b. Chad Gable – Swinging suplex
Baron Corbin b. Johnny Gargano – End of Days
Bayley b. Bianca Belair – DDT from Nikki Cross

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: August 25, 2022
Location: Cicero Stadium, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

Bound For Glory is starting to take shape and we now have a main event set for the show. Eddie Edwards won an elimination match last week to earn the spot and now we can begin the build towards the biggest night of the year. There is a lot more to get set up for the show though and maybe we can work on that this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eddie Edwards winning the elimination match last week to earn the title shot.

Opening sequence.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Jordynne Grace/Mia Yim vs. VXT

VXT is defending. Grace and Green start things off with the former grabbing a headlock takeover. With that not working, Purrazzo comes in for a few shots before it’s right back to Green. Grace runs her over again and hands it off to Yim for a dropkick into the corner. The Cannonball gets two but Purrazzo’s cheap shot lets the champs take over for a change. Some clotheslines get two on Yim, followed by a clothesline for two on Yim. Purrazzo misses a charge into the post though and the tag brings in Grace.

Everything breaks down and Yim suplexes Green for two before missile dropkicking Purrazzo. Green is back up with a top rope Blockbuster on Yim, only to get gutwrench powerbombed by Grace. The champs are sent outside for stereo dives but Grace cuts Yim off. The distracted referee misses a neck snap across the top rope to Grace, setting up the Due Collector (that double suplex) to retain the titles at 7:28.

Rating: C. This was a good way to give VXT another title win while also having Purrazzo get built up for a possible title shot. Granted I would be shocked if we weren’t gearing up for Masha Slamovich challenging Grace at Bound For Glory, but at least they are trying something. VXT is starting to turn into a nice team and that is something the division really needs.

Violent By Design says they’re back and ready for Time Machine.

Vincent comes up to Josh Alexander, who he is facing tonight. Alexander isn’t dealing with the mind games and plans to drop him on his head.

Here’s what’s coming at various shows.

Mike Bennett vs. Karl Anderson

If Anderson wins, Maria, here too, is banned from ringside whenever Bennett and Matt Taven get their Tag Team Title shot. Anderson chops him down to start and stomps away before a clothesline puts Bennett on the floor. We take a break and come back with Bennett working on a chinlock before whipping Anderson hard into the corner.

The big running start sets up the poke to the eye and we’re back to the chinlock. Anderson fights up and hits the Rocket kick, only to get superkicked for two (Maria screams a lot). Maria offers a distraction so Taven can come in with a cheap shot, only to be cut off by Doc Gallows. That’s enough for the Gun Stun to finish Bennett at 10:16.

Rating: C. They kept this one moving well enough and I was a bit surprised by the ending. What matters here is setting up the title match, where Honor No More can win the titles in a more dominant fashion without having their backup in the corner. I can’t imagine the Good Brothers retaining and the better Honor No More can look in the process, the better for the future of the division.

Post match the Good Brothers go to the back where Scott D’Amore makes the Tag Team Title match for next week.

Savannah Evans is banged up after Killer Kelly beat her last week. Tasha Steelz is ready for revenge but Kelly chokes her from behind.

Jason Hotch vs. Bhupinder Gujjar

Brian Myers is on commentary. Gujjar runs him over to start and hits a shoulder in the corner for two. Hotch is back with a rake to the eyes and a kick to the head in the corner, only to roll into a spinebuster. The Gargoyle spear finishes for Gujjar at 2:18.

Post match Myers lays out Gujjar but he comes back with a Gargoyle spear. Gujjar steals the Digital Media Title.

VXT brags about their win to Gail Kim and Deonna Purrazzo thinks she should get a Knockouts Title shot. Gail gives her a #1 contenders match with Masha Slamovich instead.

Gujjar won’t give the title back, saying Myers can come get it.

Vincent vs. Josh Alexander

Non-title. Vincent drives him into the corner to start but gets belly to belly suplexed for his efforts. A Russian legsweep drops Alexander though and Redrum connects for a fast two. The running knee misses Alexander in the corner and he’s right back with a German suplex to send Vincent flying again. It’s too early for the C4 Spike so Alexander grabs the ankle lock instead, sending Vincent straight to the ropes. Alexander is right back with a Falcon Arrow into a C4 Spike for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C+. Not much more than a squash here and it isn’t like Vincent is going to be hurt by losing to the World Champion. Alexander going through some of Honor No More on the way to Eddie Edwards should work well enough as a road to Bound For Glory and it isn’t like he’ll run out of opponents anytime soon. Vincent is fine in a spot like this, but he’s much better with those out there promos that he sells so well.

Post match here is Eddie Edwards to say he is going to be challenging Alexander at Bound For Glory, but they don’t have to be enemies. There is a war going on in wrestling and it has nothing to do with what is going on in the ring. These people in the arena support the machine instead of the wrestlers and Alexander needs to pick a side. Before Edwards can get very far, Heath runs in with the Wake Up Call. They got me with that one.

Raj Singh and Shera are complaining about things when they hear Moose and Steve Maclin arguing. Sami Callihan jumps Maclin and Moore, with Maclin being busted open. The villains manages to tie Callihan up in barbed wire and leave him laying.

Video on Masha Slamovich.

Alisha vs. Jessika

Rosemary is here with Jessika, who is billed from the Bright Light District. Rosemary gives Jessika some eye black to fire her up and Alisha gets crushed early. A running basement crossbody drops Alisha again and a fire thunder driver finishes her off at 1:56.

Video on Mickie James walking out of Impact.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Here is Sami Callihan, still wrapped in barbed wire. He wants Barbed Wire Massacre at Victory Road.

Time Machine vs. Violent By Design

That would be the Motor City Machine Guns/Kushida vs. Eric Young/Joe Doering/Deaner. Kushida charges at Doering to start but the shoulders bounce off of him. Young comes in so Shelley joins in to double team him down. It’s off to Deaner, who gets kneed in the back as everything breaks down. Deaner gets in a cheap shot on Sabin in the corner though and it’s Doering plants him to send us to a break.

Back with Young’s neckbreaker getting two, setting up Doering’s elbow drop for two. The alternating stomps and choking in the corner ensues but Sabin avoids a charge. That’s enough for the tag off to Kushida so the pace can pick way up. A basement dropkick hits Deaner and it’s right back to Shelley for some kicks to the face. Everything breaks down again and the villains are sent outside, with Sabin hitting a dive onto Doering.

Back in and Deaner rolls through Sabin’s high crossbody for two, setting up Young’s Death Valley Driver for the same. Deaner hits a top rope headbutt to set up Young’s top rope elbow for two but Young can’t hit the piledriver. Sabin gets over to the corner and everything breaks down again, with the villains being kicked out to the floor. Deaner gets kicked in the head by Kushida, sending him into Cradle Shock to give Sabin the pin at 18:42.

Rating: B. Maybe it’s enjoying seeing Violent By Design get hit and kicked a lot but this was a rather enjoyable main event. Kushida and the Guns work well together (shouldn’t be a surprise) and they picked up a win here to put Violent By Design back in trouble. I’m sure Young will monologue about this again next week, but for now, the team loses and gets shut up for another week so we’ll call that a win.

Overall Rating: C+. This was Impact doing what it does best: giving you a completely acceptable two hours of wrestling with its unique cast of stars. Some of the action was more ok than great or even good, but they aren’t doing anything too bad and you can follow the stories with no particular difficulty. That is a lot more than several promotions can claim, making Impact an enjoyable enough show. Good show this week, and I could go for more of this kind of show as the norm if that is what Impact can do.

Results
VXT b. Jordynne Grace/Mia Yim – Due Collector to Grace
Karl Anderson b. Mike Bennett – Gun Stun
Bhupinder Gujjar b. Jason Hotch – Gargoyle spear
Josh Alexander b. Vincent – C4 Spike
Jessika b. Alisha – Fire Thunder Driver
Time Machine b. Violent By Design – Cradle Shock to Deaner

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: August 11, 2022
Location: Old Paristown Hall, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s the night before Emergence and that means it is time for the big final push towards the show. That could make for a good episode, as we might be seeing some Emergence build, plus some time for the people who don’t usually get the chance to shine. Oh and a contract signing, just because. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s wild street fight.

Opening sequence.

Karl Anderson vs. Kenny King

Anderson’s Never Openweight Title isn’t on the line and no one is at ringside. King snaps off some armdrags into an armbar to start, which lasts all of a few seconds. Back up and they both miss kicks to the head, giving us another standoff. A back elbow to the face drops King but he snaps the leg across the middle rope to take over.

The seated abdominal stretch has Anderson in trouble but he fights up and twists King’s knee for a change. A running backsplash hits King and the Rocket Kick gets two. King kicks the leg out again and grabs a leglock, sending Anderson straight to the ropes. Back up and Anderson grabs a Gun Stun out of nowhere for the pin at 7:54.

Rating: C+. These guys did well and Anderson getting the win should give him some momentum on the way to Emergence is a good idea. There is a chance that the knee injury will play into the big showdown tomorrow night so this very well could have been setting things up. Nice opener though, as the Club is always going to get a reaction.

Post match King chairs Anderson in the leg but Heath runs in with a Wake Up Call before Pillmanization can occur.

Here’s what’s coming tonight and tomorrow.

Video on Alex Shelley finally becoming #1 contender.

Deaner vs. Kushida

Joe Doering and Chris Sabin are here too. Kushida snaps off an armdrag to start but a second one misses, allowing Deaner to stomp away. Back up and Kushida handspring kicks Deaner out to the floor but it’s too early for the Hoverboard Lock. Doering offers a distraction though and Deaner gets in a cheap shot.

We take a break and come back with Deaner raking the eyes to cut off some chops. Kushida goes right back after the arm but a knee and clothesline take him down. Doering’s distraction is cut off by Sabin though, allowing Kushida to grab a hammerlock northern lights suplex for the pin at 9:49.

Rating: C. Not too bad here, as Kushida is going to be good for at least a decent match every time. It takes something special to get around the mess that is Violent By Design but Deaner tends to be the easiest to watch. Just drop the team already though, because this is awful and going nowhere.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Alex Shelley b. Chris Sabin at Genesis 2009 to win the X-Division Title.

Bhupinder Gujjar AGAIN challenges Brian Myers for the Digital Media Title and finally gets the shot at Emergence.

Eric Young yells at Violent By Design and promises to get rid of Chris Sabin and Kushida at Emergence.

Tiffany Nieves vs. Killer Kelly

Nieves slaps her in the face to start so Kelly hits a kick to the face to take over. A running basement dropkick in the corner sets up a choke (the Killer Clutch) to make Nieves tap at 1:23. They’re doing a nice job at rebuilding the Knockouts division.

Eddie Edwards gives Honor No More a pep talk before tomorrow.

Madison Rayne vs. Mia Yim

Rayne drives her into the corner to start until Yim grabs a hammerlock. That’s broken up with a faceplant but Yim is fine enough to grab a rollup for two. A chase around the ring goes badly for Yim as she gets posted, setting up some choking on the ropes. Rayne charges into a boot though and the Tarantula has her in trouble.

Another faceplant gives Rayne back to back near falls but a hurricanrana is countered into Yim’s sitout powerbomb. Some dropkicks send Rayne into the corner for the Cannonball but Rayne counters the package piledriver. A crucifix bomb gives Rayne two so Yim is back up with an enziguri. Eat Defeat finishes Rayne at 9:25.

Rating: C+. It’s almost weird seeing Rayne on national TV twice in a week but she was working well enough here. Rayne is someone who has become a legend in Impact just due to how long she has been around and the championships she has won and she is always good for a match like this. Yim is a threat to Jordynne Grace this week though and it makes sense for her to get the win here.

VXT is ready to win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Jordynne Grace wants to make sure Mia Yim is ready for tomorrow but they get catty over their recent tag matches.

X-Division Title: Mike Bailey vs. Rocky Romero

Bailey is defending. They go with the rapid fire technical off to start and that’s a standoff. Neither can get anywhere off an armdrag or a dropkick so Romero dropkicks the knee out and rolls him up for tow. Back up and they trade kicks to the legs until Romero sends him outside. That doesn’t last long and it’s Bailey blocking a middle rope hurricanrana by landing on his feet for another standoff.

We take a break and come back with Bailey kicking the post by mistake, allowing Romero to hit the Forever Clotheslines. Bailey’s leg is fine enough to kick him down again, setting up the running corkscrew shooting star press for two. Romero’s springboard tornado DDT gets the same and Bailey gets blasted with a clothesline. Back up and Bailey hits a superkick for a double knockdown and we take another break.

We come back again with Bailey hitting an Asai moonsault before kicking Romero down back inside. The moonsault knees to the chest give Bailey two but Romero Falcon Arrows him into a cross armbreaker. The standing shooting star press drops bailey for two more but Sliced Bread is countered into a rollup. More Forever Clotheslines are countered with a shot to the face and the Ultimate Weapon retains the title at 19:04.

Rating: B. This was the latest Bailey showcase match and it rather well, especially for a match on free TV. Bailey isn’t my taste but he can do some impressive looking stuff in the ring, which is exactly why he is in this kind of a spot. At the same time you have Romero out there doing the good version of his thing, which worked well. Nice stuff here.

Emergence rundown.

Here is Scott D’Amore to run the contract signing between Alex Shelley and Josh Alexander. D’Amore talks about how he has coached both of them and introduced Shelley, who is finally getting his World Title shot. Alexander gets quite the hype as well and D’Amore is really excited about the dream match.

Before signing, Alexander talks about going to his first wrestling show in 2005 and Shelley was on the card. Alexander knew that Shelley was special because he stood out in a world where it was hard to be unique. The next day, Alexander stepped into a ring for the first time and over the next seventeen years, he has seen all kinds of Shelley copycats. It will be an honor to get in the ring with him and Alexander signs.

Shelley talks about the similarities in his career and asks why Alexander isn’t just another of those copycats. Alexander: “I’ve always been more of a Chris Sabin guy. You know, someone who has actually won the big one.” Alexander thinks Shelley might be self sabotaging himself because he’s too talented to never be World Champion.

Shelley talks about the injuries that the two of them have had over the years and says that the problem for Alexander is who he is across the ring from tomorrow night. When Shelley gets in the ring, he won’t be looking at the champ, but rather at an Alex Shelley mark. Shelley promises to win the title but has a consolation prize. He signs the contract and hands it to Alexander. Shelley: “There’s your Alex Shelley autograph.” Shelley walks off to end the show.

This was GREAT and one of the best contract signings I’ve ever seen. They came in with little story beyond “Shelley has never had a title shot” and turned it into a personal story without ever going too far into hatred. Shelley isn’t really known for talking but he blew it away here and I want to watch the match. Great stuff and far, far better than I would have bet on seeing.

Overall Rating: B-. Rather good show here and I’m actually on the fence about watching Emergence. I had no interest in watching coming in and they might have talked me into it so well done on all accounts. Impact has come a long, LONG way in the last few months and that was on display again here. Good show with an awesome closing segment so well done.

Results
Karl Anderson b. Kenny King – Gun Stun
Kushida b. Deaner – Hammerlock northern lights suplex
Killer Kelly b. Tiffany Nieves – Killer Clutch
Mia Yim b. Madison Rayne – Eat Defeat
Mike Bailey b. Rocky Romero – Ultimate Weapon

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXXIII
Date: April 2, 2017
Location: Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 75,245
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

This hasn’t been quite a year yet but I have a feeling it’s going to be a very long night. Like a few years before, I was in the stadium for this show but haven’t seen it since I reviewed it last year. This is a show that was well received at the time and it could be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Let’s get to it.

The set is one of the most intricate they’ve ever done, with a big Wrestlemania globe (ala Universal Studios) and a roller coaster next to it (I think you get this). There’s also an inflatable ring atop the structure above the regular ring, which I somehow didn’t notice until about an hour and a half of being in the stadium). The theme was the Ultimate Thrill Ride and the visual certainly works. It’s really cool looking and worked very well. Unfortunately the stadium isn’t the best looking in the world and it made the whole thing feel a bit out of place. Oh and the CRAZY LONG RAMP, which is something like seventy yards long.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Austin Aries vs. Neville

Aries is challenging after Neville has dominated the division for months and needs someone fresh to challenge him. The fans are behind Aries, which isn’t that surprising though Neville was nothing short (ok he was always short) of awesome at this point. Aries takes him down with an armbar but Neville is right back out with a headscissors. Back up and Neville has to bail to the floor so Aries has a rest on the top rope. I know it’s a Shawn Michaels spot but Aries sells the heck out of it.

Neville comes back in and eats a basement dropkick, followed by the middle rope elbow to the back for two. The suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head though as the back and forth continues. A missile dropkick gives Neville two and we take a break. Back with Neville holding a chinlock (They even do it on the Kickoff Shows!) but taking WAY too long to glare at the crowd before trying a middle rope Phoenix splash (makes sense given his King thing).

One heck of a backdrop puts Neville on the floor and Aries is right back after him with the suicide dive. You can hear the fans getting back into this and that’s a good result from these two. The main reason to put something like this on is to get the fans fired up for the real show and it’s a great place to put them in.

They come back in with Aries blocking the superplex and nailing his own missile dropkick (looked awesome too) for a near fall. A snap German suplex plants Aries though and Neville takes over again. Another suplex gets another two and Neville is starting to look annoyed. With the technical stuff not working, Neville just kicks him in the face in the corner.

Aries is fine enough to reverse the Rings of Saturn attempt into a rollup and now the Discus knocks Neville hard to the floor. Back in and Aries hits a top hurricanrana and the 450 (with a really annoying crowd reaction shot) gets two. The Last Chancery goes on but Neville rips at the eye (which was recently reconstructed) to break the hold. Aries is writhing in pain and it’s the Red Arrow to retain the title at 15:40.

Rating: B. I remember hearing that this would be on the Kickoff Show and being very relieved as I didn’t think the main show would allow it nearly the amount of time that it needed and deserved. I’m glad to see that I was right here as they had a heck of a chess match here with both guys getting in everything they could and showing how back and forth the whole thing was. Neville cheating to win in the end fit him well, as he finally had someone who could match him and had to take a shortcut. Really good stuff here as Neville continues his unbelievable roll.

If the pay per view started here, it would have been a perfect Kickoff Show. But nah, we need two more matches.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Rob Gronkowski, a friend of Mojo Rawley, is in the front row. Big Show’s music plays everyone but Braun Strowman to the ring. Braun tosses Primo two seconds into the match as the ring needs some serious cleaning out. Kalisto and Simon Gotch are tossed as well and Strowman eliminates Slater. Jimmy Uso and Goldust follow them out as they’re not wasting time here.

There goes Konnor but it’s time for the Show vs. Strowman showdown. Everyone stops to watch but Sami jumps Braun due to reasons of general stupidity. That goes nowhere so it’s Strowman dumping Show. Everyone goes after Strowman but he gets rid of Viktor in the process. Strowman is eliminated, making him look like a loser/afterthought in the process (oh….just wait). Hawkins is out and Ziggler gets to do his usual false hope spot. We get into the required “everyone hits everyone but doesn’t really try to win” portion as things slow down.

Ziggler low bridges Truth out as I manage to remember that Truth is employed. There goes Rhyno and Ziggler is thrown over the top, only to hang on again. There goes English, followed by American Alpha dropkicking English out. Jey Uso and Jason Jordan are tossed, followed by Chad Gable as the ring is really thinning out. Tian Bing gets rid of Fandango and Breeze, followed by Henry eliminating Sin Cara (in some sweet Wrestlemania gear). Henry is out next as there’s nothing between these eliminations.

Ziggler superkicks Bing out and that’s about it for Tian’s career accomplishments to date. Sami’s Helluva Kick gets rid of Epico and we’re down to nine. It’s been too long since Ziggler was nearly eliminated so Harper chokes him on the apron this time around. Mojo dumps Bo and Mahal eliminates Crews, followed by Rawley tossing Ziggler. Harper is out next and we’re down to Mojo, Jinder, Titus, Dain and Zayn.

A running clothesline gets rid of Titus but Dain eliminates Sami, completely sucking the life out of the crowd. Why you ask? Well we’re left with Dain, Rawley and Mahal. How excited would you be? Jinder gets clotheslined down and we get a Dain vs. Mojo showdown. A Pounce drops Dain but Jinder pulls Mojo through the ropes and out to the floor. Jinder follows him out and sends Rawley into the barricade, right in front of Gronkowski.

That means a drink going into Gronkowski’s face and here he comes over the barricade. This gives us the funniest part of the show as a security guard runs over to stop him, only to have a ringside guy tap her on the arm as some referees come over and allow Gronkowski to get in. Gronkowski runs Mahal over (your future WWE Champion everyone) and Mojo’s running right hands get rid of Dain. Another running punch to Mahal gives Rawley the win at 14:09.

Rating: D-. And this just LAUNCHED Mojo to the moon right? I know the idea here was to get Gronkowski involved (possibly as a substitute for Shaquille O’Neal) but Sami Zayn was RIGHT THERE to get the big win but nah, let’s go with the nothing guy winning the match. This wasn’t the best result for the battle royal but at least they were trying with Rawley, who took the time to talk to an entire group of fans when I saw him walking through Axxess that same weekend. Hopefully he gets somewhere in the future. The rest of the match was terrible with everyone being thrown out in short order and a bad ending.

Kickoff Show: Intercontinental Title: Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and I have no idea why this was on the Kickoff Show. Corbin crushed Ambrose underneath a forklift to set this up, giving us the hilarious visual of the referees trying to LIFT IT UP despite the key being in the ignition. They waste no time in fighting to the floor with Dean getting the better of it and heading back inside.

That earns him a hard whip to send Ambrose’s ribs into the post and give Corbin a nice big target. Or 24 of them in this case. A choke shove puts Dean down for two and Baron whips him into the barricade for good measure. We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dean avoids a charge to send Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin avoids the top rope elbow and blocks Dirty Deeds for good measure. That earns him a trip to the floor but Baron knocks him out of the air on a slingshot dive.

The top rope elbow puts Corbin down again though and Dean gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. These two aren’t exactly clicking so far. Deep Six gives Corbin two and works on the ribs a bit more. The Rebound Lariat runs Baron over again but he’s right back with a powerbomb to stay on the ribs. That’s about it for Corbin though as Dean jumps up and hits Dirty Deeds to retain at 10:44.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one but the bigger issue was with the ending, as Baron winning the title would have made the most sense. Making it even worse was the fact that Baron won a street fight non-title rematch two days later but none of that matters as the Superstar Shakeup changed everything a week later. The match was nothing to see either as they didn’t go into the brawl that would have suited them best.

And now on the main show, which is FIVE HOURS AND TEN MINUTES LONG. Sweet goodness and they wonder why it’s hard to make new fans.

Tinashe, who looks like a low rent Beyonce (still very attractive though with a great voice) sings America the Beautiful. This includes the Air Force flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet.

The opening video is about how everyone wants to come here, either as a fan or as a wrestler. This is the biggest show of the year and it is the ultimate thrill ride. The video turns into a roller coaster, starting with some historic moments and going into clips of wrestlers on tonight’s show. It’s continuing the theme and that’s a good thing when so many of these shows only have a loose theme at best. Ignore the fans cheering for Miz and AJ Styles and booing the heck out of Roman Reigns of course.

Here are your hosts for the evening: the New Day, in Final Fantasy inspired gear, with Kofi riding in on their bicycle powered ice cream cart. I still have one major question: HOW DID THEY NOT HAVE ICE CREAM FOR SALE??? They teased that for weeks and NOTHING. I was looking forward to it but for some reason it just never happened. After some dancing and gyrating, Xavier says there were a lot of options to host the show. Fans: “WOO!” It was your boys the NEW DAY who got the call though and they get to tell us about all the action that we’ll be seeing tonight.

It’s time to officially pulls their levers (making Kofi and Xavier cringe) and Big E. starts sending the smiling glances over to Woods as he freaks out. This was just after the sex tape fiasco, which was hinted at but never mentioned on WWE TV. In other words, this was a nice little inside joke for the fans while not giving away anything that would be un-PG. Well done and the way this needed to be handled. New Day’s level of rock is confirmed and that’s it, wrapping up this year’s installment of an unnecessary addition to the Wrestlemania card.

We recap AJ Styles babysitting Shane McMahon. AJ lost the Smackdown World Title to John Cena at the Royal Rumble and Daniel Bryan/Shane put him in the Elimination Chamber instead of giving him a one on one rematch for the title. That’s not cool with AJ, so he beat up Shane to set up this year’s “Shane can totally wrestle if you give him one of the best performers in the world” match. They’ve attacked each other a few times each since with Shane’s punches somehow getting a little worse since last year.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Shane’s kids are at ringside because what would Wrestlemania be without them? AJ isn’t interested in throwing punches so a quick standing switch sends Shane into the ropes. A headlock and snapmare have Shane down as AJ is toying with him to start. Shane gets in some armdrags and takes Styles down for a rollup, giving us some frustration to send AJ outside.

Back in and AJ punches him in the face as it turns into a boxing match. You know you don’t have to ask Shane to do that twice so we let the suck fly, followed by an elbow to AJ’s face. One heck of a baseball slide sends Shane over the announcers’ table as control goes hard to Styles. Back in and a knee drop rocks Shane again but of course he can shake off the Phenomenal Blitz.

The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up and Shane starts his dance that was stupid back in the 90s so today it’s awesome (like everything in the Attitude Era). An Angle Slam gets two on AJ but he’s right back with the Calf Crusher. Shane reverses into a rear naked choke, a cross armbreaker and something like the Rings of Saturn. He trains MMA you see. AJ shrugs them off and drops Shane again but the springboard 450 is countered into a triangle choke. That’s reversed into a one armed Styles Clash, and of course Shane is up at two.

They slug it out and the fans are entirely behind AJ, even more than you might have expected them to be. I know he’s going to be the favorite coming in but this star treatment of Shane is making it even worse. The ref gets bumped (well duh) and it’s trashcan time. AJ loads up his own Coast to Coast but Shane throws the can at him (with AJ having to pull up on the dive, making it look horrible). Phillips: “AJ has stepped into Shane’s world now!” You mean high flying wrestling?

Shane’s Coast to Coast gets two and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. The big elbow misses but of course Shane is fine enough to counter the Phenomenal Forearm into a Maiavia Hurricane. That’s not enough from Shane though as he gets to try the shooting star, which only hits mat. The Phenomenal Forearm connects to finally put Shane away at 20:31.

Rating: B. Well that was Shane, with some Shane on the side and then more Shane to wrap it up. AJ looked awesome but that’s all he supposed to be. This was all about Shane getting to counter and hang with AJ, which doesn’t do Styles any good. A 40+ year old who doesn’t wrestle shouldn’t be hanging with a guy who was World Champion less than three months ago. But hey, Shane, right?

James Ellsworth is having issues working out so Ric Flair comes in to give him a Snickers. Then Ellsworth becomes Charlotte. Uh, yeah.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens. Their friendship had been having some issues of late so Jericho put together the Festival of Friendship, an over the top celebration of all things Owens and Jericho. At the end of it, Owens turns on Jericho and beat the heck out of him. Jericho came back and cost him the Universal Title at Fastlane so Owens is coming for Jericho’s Universal Title. The question became could Owens win without Jericho and now we get the chance to find out.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging. Jericho’s entrance brings back the countdown for a nice touch. Throw in the light up scarf and a big List of Jericho on the stage and this is advantage Chris. They slug it out to start with the Walls going on less than thirty seconds in. That sends Owens bailing to the floor and a top rope forearm to the head drops Owens back inside. Owens kicks him in the face and hammers away to take over.

We hit the chinlock, with some horribly obvious spot calling, followed by the backsplash for two. They head outside for the third time with Jericho backdropping his way out of the apron powerbomb. Jericho chops away and gets two off a super hurricanrana but gets clotheslined down. The frog splash misses, the Lionsault hits knees, and the Swanton hits knees as well to give us a slow down stretch.

Now the Lionsault connects for a delayed two but Owens gets in his own Walls of Jericho. A rope is grabbed so Owens tries the Cannonball, only to be reversed into the Walls. Kevin grabs the rope for the break and is right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into the Codebreaker but Owens touches the rope with one finger for the save. That’s a sweet heel touch. Owens rolls outside and superkicks the knee, setting up the apron powerbomb to give him the pin and the title at 16:46.

Rating: C+. Not bad but they never cranked up the violence that you would have expected after seeing the Festival of Friendship. These two should have been ready to destroy each other and instead it’s just a match with Owens working the ribs and looking for a powerbomb. They accomplished the goal of making Owens look like he can win on his own, but this isn’t the way they should have gone about it.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match. Charlotte and Sasha Banks had raised the women’s division to entirely new levels and Charlotte needed a new challenger. Enter Bayley, who won the title on Raw in a big surprise, completely defeating the purpose of her character and leaving her with nothing to do. This problem would plague her for the next year and still does to this day. Nia Jax was added to the other three because you need to have as many people in Wrestlemania matches as possible.

Raw Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending under elimination rules. The tube men are at ringside for a special change of pace. Sasha rides in on the back of a chauffeured car because that’s what Sasha does. Charlotte gets a crazy amount of pyro, making her look even more like a star than usual. Everyone goes after Nia to start but she wrecks them in increasingly short order. A Banzai Drop crushes Bayley and Nia throws Charlotte off the apron onto both Bayley and Sasha. There’s something about people being thrown around like weapons.

All three get together to go after Nia with Sasha wisely grabbing the leg to keep her in place. Charlotte boots Nia in the face for a double German suplex for two in a painful looking crash. Nia is back up and tries a second Banzai, only to get TripleBombed out of the corner for the elimination at 4:08.

As usual, Nia chokes in the big match because that’s just how she rolls. Charlotte pulls Bayley to the floor and it’s Sasha hitting a flip dive to take the champ down. As you might expect, it’s the corkscrew moonsault from the top to take Bayley and Sasha down again in a huge crash.

Back in and Natural Selection is countered into a failed Bank Statement attempt. Instead Charlotte gets two off a backbreaker and rips off a turnbuckle pad in frustration. Sasha’s top rope double knees are good for two of her own and the Bank Statement goes on. Sasha goes with a rollup and the kickout sends her face first into the buckle for the elimination at 8:10.

Bayley comes back in and gets her knee rammed into the exposed buckle. The moonsault, with the wind blowing Charlotte’s hair around, only hits mat to give Bayley a near fall. Charlotte is fine enough to go after the knee and grab the Figure Eight. Bayley gets to the rope so Charlotte takes her into the Tree of Woe, only to get backdropped from the top in a big crash. The big elbow is enough to retain the title at 12:04.

Rating: D. Why can’t they get these big matches right? This was completely backwards with Nia being thrown in there at the last minute and lasting all of four minutes. Then it’s Bayley not really overcoming the odds and just pinning Charlotte after shrugging off some of the offense. It’s not some come from behind win or a big moment, but really just a match where Charlotte happened to lose.

Video on the Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Hearing Jim Cornette’s voice in WWE is just wrong.

Diamond Dallas Page. Nice reaction and WELL deserved just for his stuff with Hall and Roberts alone.

Rock N Roll Express. WAY overdue.

Rick Rude. See the Rock N Roll Express.

Teddy Long. I defy you to not smile at this.

Eric LeGrand. Warrior Award and that’s fine.

Beth Phoenix. Fine enough if a female entrant is required.

Kurt Angle. Yep. Moving on.

Support the Boys and Girls Club! Fair request actually.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

No real story here as this is they’ve just been feuding and it’s time for a title match. Anderson and Gallows are defending and this is a ladder match because we have to have one. Enzo and Cass’ speech is short this time as they say they’re climbing every rung to win the titles. We’re ready to go….and here’s New Day. Yeah remember them?

Anyway they’re in wrestling gear here but first, an announcement. This is now a FATAL FOUR WAY with one more team to be added. That would be the HARDY BOYZ, making a shocking return and giving us a legitimate Wrestlemania moment. Before the music hit, I stood up and said “they wouldn’t”, which was aided as I couldn’t see that New Day was in ring gear. Amazing moment here and the twenty six million YouTube views suggest that it’s quite the popular idea. Cole says thinks are about to be BROKEN and Matt does the DELETE pose.

It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) and the Hardys waste no time with Poetry in Motion to Gallows. Enzo and Cass are taken down as well as the fans are entire enamored with the Hardys all over again. A Whisper in the Wind takes both Sheamus and Cesaro down and it’s time for the first ladder. Jeff goes up but it’s Gallows making a pretty easy save. Cesaro comes back in and climbs onto Gallows’ shoulders for a double stomp onto Anderson’s ribs. Well that worked.

This time it’s Enzo and Cass coming in, just to make sure that everyone gets their turn in you see. That goes nowhere so the Hardys bridge the ladders between the ring and the apron but Cesaro and Sheamus slam them together. With a little too much Sheamus on offense, Cass launches Enzo over the ladders like a cannonball to take him down.

Back in and Sheamus hits the ten forearms to Gallows while Cesaro Swings Anderson. Despite what Cole thinks, that’s not exactly working together. We hear about the Tag Team Titles not changing hands at Wrestlemania in SIXTEEN YEARS (that’s inexcusable) until Sheamus Brogue Kicks the heck out of Cass. Enzo shoves the ladder over to drop Gallows and Sheamus and goes up, sending Graves into hysterics over the horrible possibilities.

Sheamus and Gallows come back in for the save but don’t bother to knock him off the ladder. Instead it’s Anderson climbing the ladder and knocking Cesaro into the ladder. There’s a Magic Killer to Cesaro but Matt hits them both with a Twist of Fate, including a big one off of the ladder to Anderson. Jeff hits the required Swanton off the ladder to drive Cesaro through a bridged ladder, leaving Matt to pull the titles down at 11:05.

Rating: C+. There’s only so much you can get out of a ladder match like this with almost nothing to it other than the big Hardys return. That being said, they absolutely got the ending right as there was no other way to go here. Enzo and Cass weren’t going to work after something as special as the Hardys showing up so don’t even try. There wasn’t much to this in the way of high spots either, but this was ALL about Matt and Jeff, as it should have been.

Jimmy Fallon is here.

We recap the Miz/Maryse vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella, which is mostly about Nikki and Cena teaming together for the first time ever. The idea is that Cena won’t marry Nikki so Miz and Maryse are better, meaning we’re just waiting on Cena to pop the question here. In the show stealing moment of the year though, Miz and Maryse did some parody videos of Cena and Nikki and Total Divas/Bellas, giving us some of the funniest things WWE has ever done.

They nailed the ridiculous nature of the shows to perfection and made Miz look like the guy who should be ready to break through every ceiling above her. Oh and Maryse as Nikki Bella: sweet GOODNESS that worked on about a million levels. Finally though, a year later with Miz and Maryse now as parents, Cena’s jokes about Miz “firing blanks” are pretty much dead.

Jerry Lawler is on commentary.

Nikki Bella/John Cena vs. Maryse/The Miz

Al Roker is guest ring announcer for absolutely no reason whatsoever other than having a celebrity appearance. This is Maryse’s first match nearly six years and she doesn’t look like she’s lost a step. Cena and Nikki run down the ramp and we see a wide shot for a cool visual. Cena’s mom is in the front row and he seems shocked to see her, which would be a heck of a surprise.

The women start and there’s no contact for a minute so let’s bring in the guys instead. Miz poses on the ropes and then bails to the floor to start a chase. Back in and Miz finally stomps away as we finally make contact nearly two minutes in. Maryse gets in a poke to the eye so Miz can fire off a left hand. Cena and Nikki have had no offense so far. The fans are very pleased with Miz’s beating of Cena, mainly because they realize how awesome those Total Bellas parodies were.

Miz misses the running clothesline in the corner but Maryse breaks up the hot tag attempt by pulling Nikki off the apron. A DDT gives Miz two and he slowly does Daniel Bryan’s pose (How amazing is it that the match could ACTUALLY HAPPEN?). The YES Kicks keep Cena rocked but Miz makes the mistake of telling Nikki that she can’t see him.

A big slap puts Miz on the floor and a diving tag brings in Nikki. Some bad forearms to Maryse’s arms (Shane could do better than that) don’t do much damage so Nikki runs Miz over instead. Back in and Nikki’s big forearm sets up stereo Five Knuckle Shuffles. The AA and a Rack Attack 2.0 give us a double pin at 9:38.

Rating: D-. What in the world was that? Miz beat Cena up for about eight minutes and then it was hot tag Nikki to put the villains away Hogan style. After all the work and amazing promos, this is Miz’s Wrestlemania reward. I’m so glad this is what they went with instead of Cena vs. Undertaker, which was likely possible at this show. But hey, Total Divas and Total Bellas got a plot out of it.

Post match Cena says this is what Nikki wanted when she was rehabbing her neck. He tells a downright creepy story about Nikki being groggy before going inf or surgery. Apparently Cena asked if Nikki knew he would marry her one day. She said yes, and today is that day. Cena proposes and we get the big moment as she says yes. I’m SO glad this is what Cena, in the final few years that he has in WWE, is spending one of them doing this. It’s a sweet moment, but my goodness do this on Total Bellas where the fans want to see it.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. HHH, in another dumb story. So Rollins was HHH’s big ace in the hole a few years back and everything was all evil and great. Then Rollins tore his ACL and had to vacate the World Title, which HHH took as not being good enough to be the top guy. Let me repeat that: HHH said that leg issues were signs that someone wasn’t good enough to be the man in WWE. HHH then cost the returning Rollins the title to turn him face but now it’s time for revenge with a fired up Rollins wanting to burn the place down to destroy HHH.

Seth Rollins vs. HHH

Anything goes and, as usual, HHH gets the coolest entrance of the night with a big motorcycle and a police escort, plus Stephanie as a CRAZY HOT biker chick. Seriously, I know she can be irritating but she can rock the heck out of some leather pants. He gets the biggest entrance every year and it takes up a bunch of the spotlight but I can live with it if she’s in outfits like that.

Rollins’ entrance involves holding up a torch and touching it to the ground, sending digital flames down the ramp. I get the burn it down thing but it’s rather lame, along with coming after the really cool entrance. Well done again HHH, as he continues to be smarter than most wrestlers today.

They waste no time in slugging it out with Rollins getting the better of it (therefore I must remind you: HHH once won a slugout with modern day Brock Lesnar) to knock HHH outside. A dragon screw legwhip takes Rollins down by the knee that wasn’t hurt in the first place. Rollins shrugs it off and punches him away, followed by an enziguri back inside. The suicide dive sends HHH into the barricade and it’s already time for the announcers’ table. As usual, Rollins tries a Pedigree onto the table but gets countered with a DDT which doesn’t break the table.

HHH cranks up the violence with a chair to the knee before bridging Rollins’ knee between the ring and the table so he can drive his own knee into Rollins’. Back in and the slow knee work continues, because that’s how HHH loves to work on a show this big. Rollins tries the sunset bomb but hurts his knee all over again. It’s fine enough to hit the Buckle Bomb and a hard whip sends HHH over the corner to the floor. With HHH staggered, Rollins goes up top (Graves: “He’s screwed if he hits this or not.”) and scores with a high crossbody to the floor.

Since it’s an anything goes match, Rollins loads up a pair of chairs and a table on the floor instead of just bashing HHH with the chair. A frog splash to the back keeps HHH down but he kicks the knee out to cut Rollins off again. HHH takes forever to get up top though and gets a chair pelted at his head, setting up the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. You know, on the bad knee.

Stephanie breaks up the Phoenix Splash by pulling the knee onto the ropes and we hit a reverse Figure Four. That’s reversed into a Gargano Escape of all things but HHH goes smart by punching him in the knee. The reverse Figure Four goes on outside so Rollins reaches underneath the ring to find weapons. Naturally this includes the sledgehammer but HHH lets the hold go.

Back in and Rollins’ knee is fine enough for a low superkick to the face, followed by an enziguri to really hammer the point home. Stephanie takes the hammer away from Rollins though and a Pedigree gives HHH two. The fans barely even reacted to that one and I can’t say I blame them.

HHH channels his inner CM Punk and loads up a super Pedigree but gets backdropped down (already done by Bayley earlier). Now the Phoenix Splash gets two but neither can hit a Pedigree. Instead HHH hits him in the knee but walks into a superkick, which knocks Stephanie off the apron and through a table. That wakes the fans WAY up just in time for the Pedigree to give Rollins the pin at 25:25.

Rating: B-. This is an interesting one I was bored out of my mind watching it live but it flies by watching it back. That being said, the constant knee work got very dull, especially when it wasn’t even Rollins’ bad knee. As usual, the Stephanie bump got by far the strongest reaction of the night because it’s something you don’t see very often. It’s not a bad match at all but you EASILY could have chopped off ten minutes and no one would have missed a thing.

Pitbull performs the theme song and eats up way too much time.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt for the Smackdown World Title. Orton joined the Wyatt Family after becoming tired of being beaten down by the team. Then he won the Royal Rumble and promised to never cash in the title shot on new champion Wyatt. It wound up being a ruse though and Orton used his newfound access to the Wyatt Family compound to destroy the whole place. Then Bray poured Sister Abigail’s ashes over himself and gained her powers as this story got REALLY stupid. There was also something about Luke Harper nearly becoming #1 contender that went nowhere but warrants a quick mention.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and has a viper go down the ramp, which he himself called stupid. We get the Big Match Intros and Orton takes him down with a Thesz press and some right hands. They head to the floor for more right hands but Bray goes caveman with a running headbutt back inside. And then the lights go out (which I thought was a blackout) until the mat is covered with a projection of maggots. We’re about two minutes into the match and this is already in the pantheon of dumbest ideas ever.

Bray runs him over again and this time it’s worms on the mat. The referee jumps out of the ring, possibly because he wants to go work for a sensible company like TNA. A Rock Bottom into a backsplash gives Bray two but Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two. I mean, it doesn’t matter as they’ve completely lost the fans after that stupid, STUPID idea but never let that stop WWE.

They head outside again with Bray diving off the apron and straight into a dropkick. Sister Abigail into the barricade drops Orton again but he’s back up with an RKO to knock Bray silly on the floor. That’s only good for two back inside and Sister Abigail is countered into the backbreaker. Orton’s hanging DDT looks to set up the RKO but this time Sister Abigail connects for two. But hang on because let’s hit those roaches to complete the trio of stupid! Orton is finally done with all this nonsense and hits the RKO for the pin and the title at 10:13.

Rating: F. You are the winter, fall and spring. You are the sun that summertime brings. You are the stars in the nighttime sky. You are my girl and I’m your guy. You got me all tied up in knots and I’m lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m just lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m lovin’ you lots and lots.

That doesn’t make sense? Neither does what we just saw. Moving on.

The pilots from the flyover are here. That’s kind of cool.

We recap the Universal Title match, which all started because of a video game. Goldberg came back at Survivor Series to face Brock Lesnar in a rematch of the nightmare that was Wrestlemania XX. In a shocker, Goldberg won in about a minute and a half. Then it was decided that Goldberg could win the title again. He went on to eliminate Brock from the Royal Rumble and then won the Universal Title in about thirty seconds at Fastlane. Lesnar needed to defeat Goldberg once and for all so we’re having the match for the title tonight. This is all narrated by Paul Heyman, who talks about fantasies coming to an end in a nice touch.

Here’s the thing: you could do this same story without the title. Have Lesnar put up his career to get one more shot at Goldberg (it’s not like there was any doubt on the winner here anyway) so let us have the original plan: Owens dropping the title to Jericho (who never won the World Title as a face) and then Lesnar winning it the next month. Nah. We need GOLDBERG winning the title in a nostalgia moment for whatever reason.

Universal Title: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Goldberg is defending and gets the long walk to the ring which might as well be the long walk to the gallows. Lesnar wastes no time and hits three German suplexes in nineteen seconds. In a great visual, the camera is on Lesnar when Goldberg cuts him down with a spear. A second spear sends Lesnar bailing and the third spear takes Lesnar through the barricade. That’s the first MINUTE of this match as they’re certainly starting fast.

Back in and both finishers are escaped, setting up another spear to Lesnar. The Jackhammer gets two, making Lesnar the second person to ever kick out (the other being Hogan, who only did it because of a missed cue). That means another spear (Heyman: “HE’S IN POSITION AGAIN!”) but this time Lesnar leapfrogs him and Goldberg hits the buckles. More suplexes (make it ten total) set up the F5 to officially conquer Goldberg at 4:47.

Rating: B. This was PERFECT for what they had to work with. Goldberg wasn’t going to be out there for a long match (he didn’t in his prime either) and they went with the right path. This was as action packed of a nearly five minute match as all you could have done. That first spear looked awesome and Goldberg gets to go out on his big moment. I’m pleased, though not as much as Goldberg, who probably made a ton of money for less than ten minutes combined of wrestling time in his comeback.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Alexa is defending and this is the most thrown together match that I can remember in a good while. They’re also rushing through the entrances due to the time issues. You know, because NOW they care about time issues. Naomi is the hometown girl and MY GOODNESS the Glow entrance is a sight to behold in a stadium. There are no tags of course so it’s a big brawl to start.

Naomi gets sent to the floor for a double suplex from Natalya and Carmella. Back in and Becky kicks the two of them down but James Ellsworth (Remember that?) grabs Becky’s foot to take over. Bliss breaks up a cover and screams at Carmella to get out of her ring. The DDT gets two on Natalya but Becky breaks it up this time, only to have Ellsworth come in. No Chin Music is countered into a Bexploder and it’s Naomi coming back in this time.

Naomi slingshots in to sunset flip Natalya, who German suplexes Becky at the same time. Speaking of the same time, Natalya tries a double Sharpshooter on Carmella and Naomi but can’t get the legs up. Well, not surprising, but it’s so bad that the camera cuts to her back. Naomi comes back in for a Rear View to Bliss and a big dive to take everyone out. Back in and Naomi’s reverse Rings of Saturn makes Bliss tap for the title at 5:33.

Rating: D. The timing issues KILLED this and there’s no way around it. Much like the ladder match earlier, there’s nothing you can do when you have five minutes and six people in a match. Naomi winning the title back is cool, but I still have no idea why her winning it back in her hometown is supposed to be some huge deal. Yeah it’s cool, but it’s not like this is some great moment.

Wrestlemania XXXIV is in New Orleans. Those songs will drive you crazy by the end of the weekend.

New Day comes out to thank the fans for the record attendance of 75,245. The team is still funny but egads they could have been cut out of this whole thing and not been missed.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Undertaker. Reigns eliminated him from the Rumble and now we have a match to determine who is the real Big Dog.

Jim Ross is out to do commentary for the main event. That’s even more impressive when you consider his wife died days before this show.

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

No holds barred, first announced before the entrances. Reigns is booed out of the stadium, as has become a custom. In a smart move, Undertaker rises from the middle of the ramp (with a cool visual of smoke building up and clearing to reveal him standing there). I completely missed this as I was looking at the stage and then glanced down to the ring and saw him climbing the steps.

Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and knocks Reigns to the floor. Back in and Reigns knocks him over the top as well, with Undertaker landing on his feet. Reigns hammers him down to take over and they head outside so this can be more of a brawl, which is the only way to go. The apron dropkick (to a standing Undertaker) puts Undertaker down again but he wins a slugout back inside. Reigns hits him in the face and Undertaker just looks mad.

Snake Eyes and the big boot set up the legdrop for two. The threat of a chokeslam sends Reigns outside again and this time the apron dropkick is punched out of the air. Another dropkick staggers Undertaker but it’s a chokeslam onto the announcers’ table. They climb onto the other tables and it’s a spear to drive Undertaker through (almost in a running spinebuster) for the double knockout.

Reigns is the only one back in….and Undertaker sits up. Back in and Reigns does the corner clotheslines into the corner right hands, meaning the Last Ride (an AWFUL one at that with little impact and more Undertaker dropping Reigns than slamming him down). It’s chair time but Undertaker takes it away and beats him down instead. A quick Superman Punch knocks Undertaker into the ropes but another is countered into a chokeslam onto the chair.

The Tombstone gets two and the fans, who are supposed to be smart at Wrestlemania, seem shocked at the kickout. Off the first Tombstone. In a Wrestlemania match. Who’s the smart one here? Another Tombstone is loaded up but this time Reigns backflips….and just can’t lift Undertaker for the counter. They try a few more times but just stop for the sake of embarrassment with Reigns trying a Superman Punch instead.

The spear connects but Undertaker is fine enough to put on Hell’s Gate. The rope is reached for a break (erg) and Reigns unloads with the chair. Another spear gets another two and another spear gets another two and another Superman Punch (Undertaker sits up and falls over) sets up another spear to give Undertaker his second Wrestlemania loss at 22:57. That last sequence took nearly five minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s not terrible, but Undertaker looked like an old man who should have hung it up a few years ago. The problem here was the crowd being completely dead and it showed really badly. There’s only so much energy you can have in an academic match at the end of a seven hour show. Reigns winning makes complete sense but it was a bad match (the botches and CRAZY amount of time spent standing around didn’t do it any favors) and there’s no way around that.

Reigns gets the big pyro display behind him as he stands on the ramp (great shot) but we’re not done yet. Undertaker slowly sits up and we go to a bunch of replays. Back to live and it’s Undertaker standing in the ring with the hat and coat on. I use that term loosely as it looks like Mark Callaway standing there dressed as Undertaker. For the first time, it seems like we’re seeing the real person instead of the character, which is a MAJOR change for him.

He looks around to the crowd, takes off his gloves, coat and hat and folds them up in the ring. With the fans applauding, he goes outside, kisses Michelle McCool, and walks up the ramp. Undertaker stops, looks back one more time, raises the fist, and lowers down through the ramp, fist still in the air, to end the show with the gong sounding one more time. There was no commentary for the last ten minutes, without even a goodbye (appropriate here).

That’s about as perfect of a sendoff as WWE has ever done. It was emotional, it felt special, and it came off like the real thing. Undertaker is the last vestige of that older generation and him breaking character for the first time ever and leaving is incredible to see. It’s why I don’t want to see him wrestle again and why it makes me sad to think that he will. Incredible stuff, and Thank You Taker.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s no way around it: this show is way way way way way way way WAY too long. I got through an hour of the show a few days back (you know I’m not watching this in one sitting) and looked down at the bar in near horror of how little space I had covered. Five hours, plus TWO HOURS of a Kickoff Show is just too much, especially when there’s stuff to be cut. What could be cut? Well off the top of my head:

AJ vs. Shane (move AJ to ANYTHING else and drop Shane) entirely or at least cut it down by about eight minutes

Corbin vs. Ambrose (I know it’s the Intercontinental Title but on a show this huge, it’s understandable)

Smackdown Women’s Title (it’s just nothing and felt like total filler)

Five to ten minutes each off of Reigns vs. Undertaker and HHH vs. Rollins (those combine for nearly fifty minutes total)

Pitbull

AT LEAST get this down to four and a half hours of main show. That can’t be too much to ask, right?

Other than the timing issues though, the show is mostly solid. There’s a ton of good stuff up until the mixed tag and then things start to fall apart. The Universal Title match was as perfect as it was going to be get but there’s just so much bad around it (Bray vs. Orton, Reigns vs. Undertaker, HHH vs. Rollins in that match that is still going on somewhere, with HHH still working the knee) that the good is dragged down.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to the timing issues as there’s almost no way to make a show this long work. It’s too much to sit through and it becomes a chore at the end. Just cut this down by a good hour (or two) and things are much better, but bigger is better for WWE and that’s not changing anytime soon. As it is, the show works more than it misses but it’s still not a classic by any means.

Ratings Comparison

Neville vs. Austin Aries

Original: A-

2018 Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C+

2018 Redo: C-

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Charlotte vs. Nia Jax

Original: C-

2018 Redo: D

Hardy Boyz vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. The Miz/Maryse

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

HHH vs. Seth Rollins

Original: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Original: F

2018 Redo: F

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Original: D-

2018 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Yeah I overrated a lot of this the first time around. It’s good, but not that good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/04/07/wrestlemania-xxxiii-a-long-wait-for-a-long-show-with-a-long-ramp/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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