Bash at the Beach 1998
Date: July 12, 1998
Location: Cox Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 10,095
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

 

 

Tonight is all about the celebrities as the main event is DDP/Karl Malone vs. Hollywood Hogan/Dennis Rodman. We’ve also got football player Kevin Greene vs. the Giant in what was supposed to be a tag match. Their original partners are in a world title match as new champion Goldberg defends against Curt Hennig. The midcard matches should be solid, meaning this has potential to be something good. Let’s get to it.

 

 

The opening video focuses on the three major matches tonight with some shots of the beach cut in as well.

 

 

The set is the usual intricate beach setting with sand, lifeguard towers and beach balls. The announcers wearing hula shirts is a nice touch as well.

 

 

We get an intro from the announcers, bragging about all the media attention the show has been getting. Nothing wrong with that.

 

 

Gene, in a white tuxedo, hypes up the hotline.

 

 

Raven vs. Saturn

 

 

Under Raven’s Rules of course. Saturn is in trunks now instead of jeans. Raven of course has Riggs and Lodi with him, the latter being dressed like Hat Guy. Saturn meets him in the aisle to start and whips Raven into the barricade very hard. He chokes Raven with the shirt and takes it inside for the first time. Saturn slips on the top for a bit but comes back with a quick missile dropkick to put Raven down. An ankle lock is quickly broken by Raven grabbing the ropes, even though there are no rules so there’s nothing the referee can threaten Saturn with.

 

 

Raven avoids a legdrop and hits a quick knee lift to put Saturn down for a breather. It’s already table time (Tony: “He’s got a chair.”) but Raven gets crotched while trying to suplex Saturn over the top and through the table. They head to the floor with Raven hitting the Russian legsweep into the barricade for two, even with Raven’s feet on the ropes. Raven’s sleeper is countered by a jawbreaker and both guys are down again. Saturn is up first for some kicks in the corner and a suplex to take over.

 

 

Now it’s chair time (complete with jokes from Heenan at Tony’s expense) with Saturn hitting a spinning springboard legdrop onto Raven onto the chair for two. Saturn takes out Riggs and Lodi but crushes Nick Patrick in the corner with a springboard leg lariat in the corner. Out to the floor again with Raven being bulldogged into the steps.

 

 

Saturn sets up another table next on top of the original with Raven in between but here’s Kanyon to turn on Saturn, pulling Raven out from between the tables. We hit the shades of gray as Kanyon takes Raven inside and gives him the Flatliner onto the chair. Riggs rolls in Saturn and puts Raven on top for two. Saturn comes back with a Death Valley Driver to Riggs but the Even Flow is enough for the pin for Raven.

 

 

Rating: C. The match was fun but as usual, they’re not actually going anywhere with all this stuff. So many of the feuds just go in circles and that doesn’t help anyone at all in the end. Kanyon and Saturn need to do something soon to capitalize on all these awesome moments they’ve had but it seems like they’re going to be doing the same stuff they’ve been doing for months.

 

 

Here’s Eddie to talk about Chavo’s match with Stevie Ray before his hair vs. hair match with Eddie. This is the first mention of Stevie being involved in the PPV, which might be a good idea. Eddie says Stevie is going to destroy Chavo and Eddie will pick up the pieces.

 

 

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

 

 

Wasn’t this supposed to be Juvy vs. Reese II? Kidman looks much cleaner than usual. They lock up to start with Kidman taking over with a headlock. Both guys hit the ropes a few times and they flip to a stalemate. Kidman gets chopped against the ropes and takes down by a headscissors. Lodi pulls Juvy to the floor for a quick beating but Kidman takes out his Flock mate on a dive. Guerrera slides back in and hits a HUGE dive to take both guys down.

 

 

Back in and Kidman slams him down before taking it right back to the floor. Juvy is dropped throat first across the barricade but Kidman misses a charge off the apron to send himself crashing into the barricade as well. They head to the apron with Juvy hitting a sunset bomb to slam Kidman onto the floor again. The fans of course get on Lodi instead of paying attention to the match.

 

 

Juvy throws him inside again and stomps Kidman in the corner a bit before loading up a top rope hurricanrana. Kidman counters with a low blow and a top rope sitout spinebuster for a big crash and two. Back up and Kidman chops away but gets rolled up for two. They head to the corner again and Kidman gets crotched on the top rope, allowing Juvy to hit a springboard hurricanrana for a close two. Kidman’s middle rope bulldog gets the same and they trade rollups for two. The Juvy Driver gets two but Kidman slams him down to set up the Seven Year Itch. Juvy rolls away at the last second though and it’s the 450 for the pin.

 

 

Rating: B-. Good match here as you would expect from these guys. It’s nowhere near their best but it’s better than Reese vs. Juvy would have been. This would have been a good choice for the opener as the fans got into it, even though a lot of their heat was directed at Lodi. Fun stuff.

 

 

Konnan is on WCW.com, talking about his family eating fish tacos.

 

 

Stevie Ray vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

 

 

This is a result of a one off conversation between these two on Nitro. Chavo has a Super Soaker and an inflatable duck around his waist. Eddie comes out to watch so Chavo dedicates the match to him. Chavo avoids contact for awhile before offering a handshake. Stevie shakes his hand…..and Chavo submits. For some reason, Stevie is mad even though he won.

 

 

Time for the hair vs. hair match and Eddie is livid.

 

 

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

 

 

Loser gets a haircut. They lock up to start and Eddie leapfrogs him, only to be bitten on the tights, sending him out to the floor. Back in and Eddie asks the referee to look at the injury but Charles Robinson is just fine thank you. Now Chavo wants to dance a bit. A frustrated Eddie kicks the turnbuckle and injures his foot, sending him out to the floor. Eddie throws in a chair but Chavo sits down in it and asks Eddie to come in. Things settle down a bit and Eddie gets on his knees to ask for a handshake. Chavo takes his hand and pulls Eddie into a clothesline as we actually get going.

 

 

Eddie hides in the corner at the referee’s knees but gets bitten again as the comedy continues. Eddie finally dropkicks the knee out and sends Chavo into the corner to take over. Some shoulders to Chavo’s back in the corner have him in even more trouble and a gutbuster puts him down again. A low dropkick sets up a slingshot hilo to stay on Chavo’s back and the nephew is in trouble. There’s the Gory Special in the middle of the ring but Chavo gets his legs free, only to be clotheslined right back down.

 

 

We hit a camel clutch on Chavo for a bit before Eddie fires off some chops against the ropes. Chavo avoids a dropkick and scores with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put Eddie down. Eddie pulls the trunks to send Chavo to the floor and pulls back the mats. The brainbuster is countered though and Chavo suplexes him down onto the exposed concrete. Back in and Chavo goes up again but gets crotched down, setting up an Eddie superplex to put both guys down.

 

 

Back up and Chavo launches Eddie over his head and face first into the turnbuckle but Chavo’s frog splash hits knees. Eddie’s tornado DDT (Chavo’s finisher) puts Chavo down and Eddie goes for the scissors. That’s not cool with Little Naitch so Eddie tries the frog splash to a similar result. Now Chavo goes for the scissors but the referee takes them away, allowing Eddie to get a rollup for the pin.

 

 

Rating: B-. To no surprise, this was a good match. Chavo has grown up a lot in this feud and the matches are getting better and better every time. I’m digging Chavo being crazy yet brilliant with stuff like the handshake submission earlier. He’s gone from nothing to an interesting character which was the idea all along.

 

 

Post match Chavo grabs the electric clippers and shaves his own hair off. He offers to cut Eddie’s as well so they can be twins. Chavo: “You don’t want to cut my hair? What a psycho!” Chavo cuts his own hair and shaves the whole thing off.

 

 

We get an odd few moments during the haircut as Tony talks like the main event is up next before going into a full recap of Jericho vs. Malenko. Instead of either of those, we get this.

 

 

Disco Inferno vs. Konnan

 

 

This is a bonus match and Disco is officially from FUNKYTOWN. Before the match, Alex and Disco imitate Konnan in an unfunny bit. Nash and Luger come out with Konnan which is some serious overkill. They’re just a comedy tag team guys. Nash and Konnan do their full entrances and talking bits as we’re clearly filling time now.

 

 

Konnan takes him down with ease and stomps on Disco’s back. An X-Factor and the rolling lariat put Inferno down again but Wright pulls him to the floor for an attack. Luger Racks Alex, allowing Nash to Jackknife Disco. Konnan puts on the Tequila Sunrise for the easy submission. That’s three people interfering in a two minute match with no backstory for those of you keeping track. This is why we needed another NWO group?

 

 

Kevin Greene vs. The Giant

 

 

Greene is very fired up here. He rolls away from Giant to start and sneaks in a slap to the face. Giant growls at him so Kevin bails to the floor. Greene kicks the ropes to crotch Giant as they come back in before pounding away in the corner. The fans are into this and it helps that Greene could probably get a job on his looks and charisma alone. Giant catches him in a bearhug though and spinebusts him down to take over.

 

 

A Goldberg chant starts up so Giant pounds Greene in the head out of anger. Back up and Giant chops away as Tony talks about the Georgia Dome show getting 39,919 people. Every source I can find says it was over 40,000, so why would WCW understate it? I’ve never understood that.

 

 

Anyway Greene snaps Giant’s throat across the ropes but gets headbutted right back down. They head to the floor with Giant going face first into the barricade a few times before heading back inside. Kevin hits a top rope forearm to drop Giant for two and it’s time to go for the knees. That lasts about two seconds before Greene charges into a chokeslam in the corner for the pin.

 

 

Rating: C+. That’s on a very adjusted scale considering that Greene isn’t a wrestler. Factoring that in, this was some very impressive stuff. Greene looked completely comfortable out there and there wasn’t a single time there where he looked lost. If he wasn’t an incredible football player, he had a career in wrestling for sure. Entertaining stuff here again.

 

 

Hennig says Goldberg doesn’t have the heart to beat him.

 

 

We recap Jericho vs. Malenko with a video from Nitro, showing Malenko getting handcuffed for attacking Jericho after the insults about Dean’s dad.

 

 

We still don’t know who Jericho’s opponent is tonight so he comes to the ring with a cane while wearing a top hat as he promised to do. He teases a softshoe but here’s JJ to interrupt. Dillon thinks he might have made a mistake about Jericho, but we have an opponent. He hasn’t been in the ring in six months, but it’ll be a No DQ match like it was supposed to be with Malenko. Jericho: “Bring out the jobber!”

 

 

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

 

 

Rey is clearly limping on the way to the ring but has a VERY muscular physique. Rey fires off forearms in the corner and dropkicks Chris into the ropes. Jericho bails to the floor for a breather but comes back in to go after the bad knee. They head up the aisle and fight on the lifeguard’s before Rey hurricanranas him down onto the “irritating” (Tony’s word) sand.

 

 

Back in and Jericho rolls through a high cross body for two before hitting something like a top rope powerslam for no cover. Jericho grabs a chair and goes after the knee but spends too long mocking Rey, allowing Mysterio to get in some shots to Jericho’s knee. The West Coast Pop is badly botched to the point it looks like a powerbomb on Rey. He bails to the ropes to avoid the Liontamer but here’s the suspended Dean Malenko. The distraction lets Rey snap off a hurricanrana for the pin and the title.

 

 

Rating: D+. This didn’t work very well. It’s not a horrible match but Rey looked very rusty out there. The crowd was happy to see him, but they booked themselves into a corner with Dean. He needs to get his revenge on Jericho and be done with it but this just extends the story out even longer. Hopefully Rey gets better with some more ring time.

 

 

Post match Dean chases Jericho to the back and Arn Anderson slows Jericho down, allowing Malenko to get in some shots.

 

 

TV Title: Booker T vs. Bret Hart

 

 

Booker is defending after being goaded into the match by some Bret chair shots. Bret gets taken to the mat but comes back with right hands to the face to take over. A snapmare gets two for Booker and he sends Bret out to the floor. Bret comes back with a whip into the barricade and we head back inside for the first shots at Booker’s braced knee. Booker grabs a quick spinebuster for a floatover two count but Bret backdrops out him out to the floor.

 

 

Back in and Bret stays on the knee before getting two off a Russian legsweep. Booker gets stomped down in the corner but comes back with a quick side kick and the flapjack. There’s the Spinarooni but Booker doesn’t snap to his feet as he usually does. The missile dropkick gets two as Bret gets his foot on the ropes. Bret goes outside and grabs a chair to stop a diving Booker for a DQ.

 

 

Rating: D+. Well that happened. Really there isn’t much else to say about this match. The match was just there with Bret doing some stuff, Booker coming back, then Bret ending it with the chair. Bret is probably at the top of the list of guys who were wasted in WCW as he went from WWF Champion to losing in a lower card title match inside of eight months. That’s impressive even by WCW standards.

 

 

Bret goes after the knee with the chair and cracks it over the exposed knee cap. He hooks the Heartbreaker around the post and Stevie Ray takes his sweet time in making the save.

 

 

Video on Goldberg’s big night on Monday.

 

 

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

 

 

No Rude for the challenger tonight. Goldberg runs him over to start and hits a kind of release belly to belly, sending Curt into the corner. Goldberg uses his legs to take Hennig down and Curt bails to the floor. Back in and Goldberg charges into a boot in the corner but Hennig gets caught in a gorilla press powerslam. Curt goes after the knee with a chop block and some cannonballs. The HennigPlex gets two and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to retain the title.

 

 

Rating: D. You know all those other Goldberg matches? Read whatever I said about any of those and swap out whatever that opponent’s name for Curt Hennig.

 

 

We recap the main event without words. Basically the basketball players don’t like each other because they played in the finals twice in a row and Hogan said some stuff about Page that DDP didn’t like.

 

 

Diamond Dallas Page/Karl Malone vs. Dennis Rodman/Hollywood Hogan

 

 

Page and Malone have matching attire, which look like they jumped into a vat of hot glue with their jeans on. They come out to some hip hop song that keeps saying “feel the bang.” Malone looks like he’s been carved out of granite while Rodman is in a t-shirt and jeans. The basketball players get us going but first Hogan has to take off Rodman’s glasses. Rodman runs to the ropes to hide and the fans are all over him. That works so well that they do it a second time. A test of strength doesn’t happen as we hit two minutes into the match.

 

 

Rodman grabs a headlock but bails to the floor when Malone charges at him. Off to Hogan for a posedown with Hollywood getting frustrated. Malone hooks a kind of standing chinlock (imagine a left arm Rock Bottom but he clasps his hands together and squeezes) before slamming Hogan down. We’re five minutes in now and it’s off to Page. DDP gets Rodman and shoves him down off a lockup. A shoulder puts Rodman down again as the stalling continues. They spit at each other and Rodman armdrags him down. Somehow we’re seven minutes into this match.

 

 

They hit the ropes a bit and collide to send both guys down. Back to the headlock by Rodman but Page reverses into one of his own. The fans are clearly getting restless. Rodman leapfrogs Page twice and they collide again to give us more laying down. Malone comes in and kicks at Rodman, sending him over to Hogan for the tag. Karl hooks a top wristlock and shoves Hogan to the mat. Hogan complains of a hair pull and Rodman gets in a cheap shot to get to the whole tag match idea for the first time.

 

 

Hogan chokes a lot and slams Malone down before raking the boot over Malone’s eyes. Rodman comes in with some elbow drops before it’s back to Hogan for a chinlock. Here’s Rodman again for some double teaming and a belly to back suplex from Hogan. Hollywood misses an elbow though and it’s hot tag to Page. DDP comes in with a top rope clothesline to Hogan but a cheap shot from Rodman lets the NWO take over again. Hogan chokes away in the corner with his boot followed by a running clothesline.

 

 

Rodman comes in for a double big boot and more choking before it’s back to Hogan for right hands in the corner. Page hits a quick elbow but Rodman breaks up the tag attempt and puts on a front facelock. Malone plays cheerleader on the apron and we get the unseen and phantom tag tropes to space the match out even more. The big boot puts Page down but he avoids the legdrop and it’s hot tag off to Malone.

 

 

Clotheslines all around put the NWO down and they both get slams. There’s a double noggin knocker followed by Hogan’s head going into the buckle. A big boot drops Hogan and it’s off to Page for a running Diamond Cutter (Hogan landed on his hands, making the move look horrible). Malone Diamond Cuts Rodman but Disciple sneaks in with a Stunner to Page, giving Hogan the pin and a face pop for some reason.

 

 

Rating: F. This was about what you knew it was going to be, though it could have been FAR worse. Malone was clearly taking this seriously which is more than you can say for most celebrities in matches. Rodman looked like your usual celebrity wrestler: decent at the one or two really basic moves he used but pretty worthless otherwise. I’ve read before that this was originally booked to go nearly an hour, which makes me shiver in fear. I guess Hogan needed this win as a thank you for the mainstream attention he brought in?

 

 

Malone gives Disciple and the referee Diamond Cutters (good ones too) and the NWO celebrates like this is a big deal.

 

 

The announcers talk a bit to wrap things up.

 

 

Overall Rating: C. This is the WCW PPV formula but a better version than usual. The earlier stuff is mostly good while the main events cripple it, though Goldberg’s match was what the fans wanted to see and was executed as well as it could have been. The problem with the company is the same as always though: the main stories aren’t going anywhere. The tag match doesn’t change anything here and everyone involved in it now needs to start a new story. It’s a good show overall, but as usual turn it off before the main event.

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Monday Nitro #144
Date: July 6, 1998
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 41,412
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone

This is the night that changes a lot of things in WCW, which is why it’s been built up for a full four days. The main event tonight is the undefeated Goldberg challenging Hollywood Hogan for the world title in Goldberg’s hometown of Atlanta. On top of that it’s the go home show for Bash at the Beach, meaning the basketball players are here tonight as well. Let’s get to it.

We open with JJ announcing the main event from Thunder.

The Georgia Dome looks amazing with one of the biggest American crowds ever up to that point. Off the top of my head the only shows with higher attendance would be Wrestlemania III, the 1997 Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania VIII.

The Nitro Girls dance to get us going.

Tony and company intro the show with Larry talking about people crawling out of the slime and Goldberg being the epitome of evolution.

Here’s the Black and White with something to say. Bischoff talks about how this is another town that worships Hogan. Hollywood brags about how much the fans love him here and literally rolled out the red carpet for him. As for the business at hand, this Sunday he’s going to destroy Malone so badly that he never plays basketball again. That’s not his best insult ever.

Hogan moves on to Goldberg, who might have a few fans here tonight. The match however isn’t going to happen because Goldberg has only beaten a bunch of jabronis. That’s a fair point actually. Hogan will give Goldberg a chance though. He’s got an NWO man coming in tonight and if Goldberg can beat him tonight, Goldberg can have his title match later in the evening. The Goldberg chant cuts Hogan off but he says a quick catchphrase to end things.

WCW is giving away a NASCAR.

TV Title: Dean Malenko vs. Booker T

Booker is defending. Feeling out process to start with both guys connecting with shoulder blocks and drop toeholds to give us a stalemate. Booker grabs a belly to back suplex and goes up for the missile dropkick but only hits mat. The Cloverleaf is countered into a small package and we have another standoff. Dean takes him dow again and goes up top but dives into a spinebuster for two. Booker starts his finishing sequence but misses the side kick, sending both guys to the floor. Booker gets back in quickly but here’s Jericho to distract Malenko, allowing Booker to hit a quick ax kick to retain.

Rating: C+. This was entertaining for a match that didn’t even run four minutes. Dean vs. Jericho is going to be a huge eruption when it actually happens, assuming Jericho gets his head kicked in like he’s supposed to. Booker getting another win over a former champion is only good for his career as well.

Goldberg can do pushups.

Karl Malone is upset that Dennis Rodman isn’t here tonight but he’ll be there on Sunday for sure. This was ten seconds long and better than half the roster’s promos.

Raven vs. Kanyon

Kanyon jumps him in the aisle and takes out Lodi to get things going. Back in and a hiptoss gets two for Kanyon before they trade sleepers. Raven is sent to the floor and into the barricade as the announcers talk about Goldberg’s two matches tonight. Kanyon gets two off a fireman’s carry flapjack but Lodi crotches Kanyon on the top. Raven superplexes Kanyon down onto an open chair but here’s Saturn to attack Raven for the no contest. Short but entertaining stuff.

Saturn beats up the Flock post match and sets up a table. This would be better if the security wasn’t telling everyone to sit down. Raven is laid on the table between the ring and the barricade but Saturn’s splash off the top doesn’t break the table. That landing sounded sick. Kanyon lays out Saturn with something we couldn’t see but he might not have known who he was hitting.

Buff and Judy Bagwell arrive.

The fans think Goldberg will win.

Nitro Girls.

We get a clip from last week with Malone and Page arriving and scaring off the well armed NWO by blowing a horn, followed by Malone’s standoff with Hogan.

Here are Page and Malone with something to say. Page talks about how bad a week this is going to be for Scum Hogan, as he’s losing the title tonight and getting banged on Sunday. Malone, calling himself the Rodzilla Killa (I’ve heard worse) promises to whip Rodman like Madonna should have. Short again but it got the point across.

We get the same video of Mongo from Thunder, talking about reforming the Horsemen with comments from Mike Ditka.

Riggs vs. Scott Putski

Putski gets a quick one off a snap suplex but Riggs comes back with a clothesline and dropkick to take over. A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two for Putski as Tony talks about all the Goldberg highlights we’ll get tonight. Riggs hits a running knee in the corner to send Putski to the floor as Larry talks about Ivan Putski. Back in and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Putski comes back with right hands and the Polish Hammer (running ax handle to the chest, his dad’s move) gets no cover. Instead a sitout spinebuster gets the pin on Riggs.

Rating: C-. This was much more entertaining than I was expecting. Putski had a good look and some decent skills but he never went anywhere at all. Riggs looked decent out there as well with more offense than you usually see from him. To call this a nice surprise would be the understatement of the day.

Goldberg can headbutt a locker.

We see Goldberg’s first win over Hugh Morrus. That’s an introduction you very rarely see: an unknown coming in and getting an upset win. Why not use that again at some point?

We go to the parking lot where the Black and White gets out of a limo, complete with Scott Hall who is Goldberg’s first opponent tonight.

Here’s Jericho before his match to say that Malenko doesn’t deserve a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. He talks about “Rey Mysterio” beating him on Thunder (a small guy in Mysterio attire whom Jericho allowed to pin him), meaning that Mysterio should get the title shot. This brings out JJ who says the title match with Dean is on for Sunday and will be No DQ. Cue a ticked off Malenko but JJ says if they fight before Sunday, the title match is off.

You know that’s enough for Jericho, who goes into a tirade of insults against Dean’s family. Malenko holds off, until Jericho implies that Dean’s brother Joe is the result of an affair. Dean goes OFF on Jericho, pounding him in the face as much as he can. JJ says the title match is off and Jericho can’t stop laughing. Either something happens on Sunday or this story is taking a very strange turn.

Chris Jericho vs. Ultimo Dragon

Non-title. Dragon grabs a headlock to start but has to nip up to escape a headscissors. A shoulder puts Jericho down for a second before he flips out of a backdrop. Some kicks put Jericho down and Dragon walks up his back for some insult. Jericho comes right back with a dropkick to the back of the head and the arrogant cover for two. Dragon snaps off some more kicks but here’s Dean for the DQ.

Malenko literally rips Jericho’s hair out as security pulls Malenko off and handcuff him.

More Nitro Girls in different outfits.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Johnny Swinger

Swinger cuts about as bland of a heel promo as you could ever imagine, talking about how everyone will know his name after this. Chavo comes to the ring in a hard hat to hide the missing hair that Eddie cut off. Naturally he can’t wear it in the match which drives Chavo even crazier. He freaks out and screams a lot which scares Swinger back into the corner. Chavo pounds on him a bit and hits a nice headscissors to put Swinger down. Johnny gets in a few shots to the ribs to take over and shouts his name a lot. Chavo comes back with a dropkick and the tornado DDT ends this in less than two minutes.

Goldberg’s 25^th win was over Glacier.

Public Enemy vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

What is with Public Enemy getting on every show lately? The dancers now have Tokyo Magnum as a dancer in training even though they don’t seem to want him around. Public Enemy brings two tables to the ring while wearing Braves jerseys to suck up to the crowd. The dancers are easily beaten down into the corners to start and Rocco powerslams Disco. Magnum distracts Grunge from the floor and after a stern lecture, Grunge gets kneed in the back by Wright to change momentum.

Alex gets two off a slingshot splash from the apron and it’s off to Disco for some dancing. He drops some elbows and a knee but the middle rope elbow misses completely. The not very hot tag brings in Rocco but his double noggin knocker is countered into a double hiptoss. That’s not exactly a house cleaning moment. Grunge comes back in with a double bulldog and it’s table time. The dancers leave the dancer in training to deal with this situation and Magnum is crushed between the tables, which is a DQ for some reason.

Rating: D. The fans stayed in the match for the most part but it was just a backdrop to set up the big table spot at the end. Magnum isn’t the worst choice in the world for a fall guy for the dancers because fans like seeing annoying characters get beaten up. That’s more reason than we have to care about most of the other Dragon Gate guys at least.

Post match the dancers come back with trashcans to beat up Public Enemy.

Here’s Buff Bagwell in a wheelchair, pushed by his mom. He comes out to the NWO music but asks to have the music cut off. Buff talks about how much he loves Atlanta and talks about how much the fans mean to him before saying he and Scott Steiner need to go their separate ways. You can feel the heel turning coming from here.

Goldberg’s 50^th win was over Rick Fuller, another guy who had potential on his look alone.

Hour #3 begins.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Scott Hall

This is Goldberg’s qualifying match for the main event already set by JJ because Hogan can just make matches like that. This is Hall’s first match on Nitro in about three months. Goldberg shoves him down to start and Hall isn’t sure what to make of him. Hall drives in the shoulder blocks but Goldberg shrugs them off and takes Hall down with ease. Goldberg casually puts his hands on his hips and waits for Hall to bring it. Scott hits some HARD chops but they botch an Irish whip as Goldberg was too close to Hall for whatever they were supposed to do, causing them to collide in an ugly crash.

Back up and Goldberg blocks a slam and throws Hall down again. The crowd is losing their minds over this stuff and Goldberg has barely broken a sweat so far. Hall spits at him and avoids a charge in the corner before getting two off a belly to back suplex. Goldberg is actually in trouble here as Hall kicks him in the head a few times. Goldberg no sells some punches and armdrags Scott down a few times.

Hall calls out the Black and White B-Team plus Hennig but Page and Malone take them down with chairs in the aisle. The distraction lets Hall snap Goldberg’s throat across the top rope and score with a solid clothesline. The Outsider’s Edge is easily countered with a backdrop and a spear and the Jackhammer set up the main event.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t anything to see from a technical standpoint but the idea was good. Hogan made a good point earlier about Goldberg never beating anyone of note so a win over a big name like Hall was a good boost heading into later tonight. On top of that it makes the main event look even better for Goldberg as he’s coming in less than 100%. Imagine that: thinking in a WCW story.

More Nitro Girls, this time on the announcers’ desk.

Psychosis vs. Juventud Guerrera

Juvy misses a dropkick in the corner but still gets his feet up to stop a charging Psychosis. Some elbows to the face get Psychosis nowhere and Juvy chops away to set up a hurricanrana. A top rope hurricanrana sends Psychosis to the floor and Air Juvy takes him down again. Back in and Psychosis catapults Juvy over the top rope and out to the floor, allowing Psychosis to hit a nice dive of his own. Back in and Juvy kicks out at two before putting on the Juvy Driver, followed by a 450 for the pin on Psychosis.

Rating: C. This was fun but they didn’t have time to go anywhere with it. It didn’t help that they were in the death slot after Goldberg and the fans were all drooling over the upcoming main event. Still though, some nice dives and hurricanranas made this a very nice breather and a fun match.

Post match the Flock runs in to beat up Juvy, setting up Guerrera vs. Reese II on Sunday.

Goldberg’s 75^th win got him the US Title from Raven. I still feel bad for Raven for getting 24 hours with the belt. I understand wanting to get it on Goldberg but I would have liked Raven to have it longer.

LONG video hyping up the NBA match. Thankfully they’ve toned the hype for that way down in the last two weeks. That one show was unbearable.

The Giant vs. Jim Duggan

If you’ve seen this match once, you’ve seen it a dozen times. Duggan pounds away in the corner to some effect but tries a slam because he’s not that bright. Giant slams him down but misses his big elbow. Duggan’s three point clothesline actually connects but Giant just raises his fist to block the knee drop. Chokeslam and we’re done in a hurry.

Post match Giant calls Kevin Greene a coward. Luckily Greene is here and clotheslines Giant out of the ring, showing more fire than almost anyone else tonight.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Neidhart

Malone and his incredibly long arms are in Page’s corner. Neidhart powers him into the corner to start and chokes away on the mat. Page comes back and throws him in as well for some knees to the ribs. Jim goes right for the bad ribs and slams Page’s back onto the mat by his hair. Neidhart hooks a full nelson but gets kicked low, setting up the Diamond Cutter for the win.

Goldberg’s 100^th win was over Konnan a few weeks earlier.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Kidman/Sick Boy

Nash and Konnan are in Sting and Luger’s corner, which again makes me ask why Nash is Sting’s partner in the first place. They’ve teamed together once since becoming champions while Sting and Luger have partnered up three times now. The Wolfpack does their catchphrases before the Flock comes out. Match: Sting beats both guys up for ten seconds, double Stinger Splash, Death Drop to Kidman and the Rack to Sick Boy, done in less than thirty seconds.

And now it’s time.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Goldberg

Goldberg’s pop is still big but it’s a slight step behind what it was earlier tonight. They loudly pop for the bell though and Heenan is already losing his mind for the match. Goldberg grabs a headlock to start and Hogan screams NO NO NO. A shoulder puts the champion down and the fans are making up for the slightly quieter pop on the entrance. Goldberg takes him down on a test of strength and the place is coming unglued.

Hogan comes back with some solid right hands and the weightlifting belt to the back but Goldberg easily takes it out of Hogan’s hands. He throws it to the mat and says bring it. A low blow slows Goldberg down and a clothesline drops him again. Hogan chokes a lot but misses some elbows, allowing Goldberg to hit a clothesline, knocking Hollywood outside. With the weightlifting belt back on, Hogan gets back in and shoves Goldberg outside one more time. Some chairs to the back have Goldberg in trouble and we hit the ring again.

A slam sets up a pair of legdrops (literally not mentioned at all by the announcers) as Curt Hennig comes to the ring. Tenay finally mentions the legdrops as Hogan hits what sounds like a third (camera was on Hennig) for two. Malone comes out and Diamond Cuts Hennig on the floor, allowing Goldberg to spear Hogan down. The fans literally rise up as Goldberg Jackhammers Hogan for the pin and the title. Heenan goes NUTS in the most passionate speech you’ll hear him give this side of a Flair promo.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade because the match wasn’t anything special from a wrestling perspective. What it was though was exactly what it should have been. Goldberg took a beating but came back and destroyed Hogan for the 100% clean pin. Hogan put him over completely clean here and it felt like a new star was made. That’s exactly what was supposed to happen here and the fans got what they were hoping for with no shenanigans. This is what Sting vs. Hogan should have been at Starrcade.

Goldberg celebrates by holding up both titles for several minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Shows like these are what frustrate me more than anything about WCW. This was proof that if they were trying, they could put on some very entertaining shows that accomplished everything they were supposed to accomplish. The focus was entirely on Goldberg tonight and that part worked to perfection. On top of that however this was a solid go home show which built up Bash at the Beach rather well.

Another thing to note here is this show kept moving. They didn’t let anything stay on too long (other than Goldberg the longest match was Public Enemy at just over 5:00) and the show felt fun throughout. That’s what’s so frustrating about this show. Imagine if this had been on pay per view with some other major matches and time to build. It would have been one of WCW’s best shows ever and a real comeback against the WWF. As it is it’s just a really fun TV show, meaning it doesn’t have the long term impact it needed to. That’s one of the major reasons WCW lost the war: being so short sighted. Still though, great fun here.

 

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Monday Nitro #143
Date: June 29, 1998
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,900
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re 13 days away from Bash at the Beach and of course the major story tonight is the NBA tag match. Tonight also marks the first appearance of Karl Malone on the show, meaning Tony will constantly tell us how nothing has ever been bigger in the history of our sport. The hype wound up working due to how successful the PPV was but man alive it’s not easy to sit through week in and week out. Let’s get to it.

The Nitro Girls get us going. Not a bad way to start.

The announcers intro the show and Larry can’t pronounce anticipation.

Gene brings out Kevin Greene for an opening chat. Greene doesn’t remember Hennig’s name but he does remember Goldberg, who he calls the best wrestler in the last 30 years. He plugs the tag match at the PPV and leaves. This was maybe 45 seconds long.

Kanyon vs. Horace

Kanyon starts fast with a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza (starts like a fisherman’s suplex but into a swinging neckbreaker instead of a suplex) for two before stomping Horace down into the corner. A Lodi distraction lets Horace clothesline Kanyon to the floor though and Horace follows up with a suicide dive. Not a bad one either.

Kanyon is whipped into the stop sign against the barricade which is legal because all of the Flock’s matches are under Raven’s Rules. Or the referee is a dolt. Back inside and Horace superplexes Kanyon down for two but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker. Kanyon comes back with a fireman’s carry into a pancake for no cover as Kanyon has to go after Lodi. Horace gets two off a big boot but walks into the Flatliner for the pin.

Rating: C-. Decent little match here as Kanyon continues to look great in the ring almost every time. Horace is a better power guy than he’s given credit for, but that’s what you have to expect when the guy is Hulk’s nephew. The Kanyon vs. Raven blowoff match should be solid once we finally get there.

Post match the Flock hits the ring but Kanyon holds them off. Raven himself finally comes in and the distraction lets the Flock take Kanyon down. Raven says Kanyon standing alone is usually honorable but today it’s foolish. The Evenflow lays Kanyon out.

A semi-truck is on the way but not even in Florida yet according to Tony.

Opening sequence, nearly 20 minutes into the show.

The announcers talk about the tag match again.

We get the phone call from Thunder from Page saying he and Malone are driving a big rig from Salt Lake City to Nitro with a surprise inside. The surprise: a bunch of chairs. Seriously, he said there was a surprise inside then said there’s nothing but chairs inside. I’m guessing that’s another slip of the tongue.

Back to the helicopter shot of the truck with Tony saying it’s been in Florida all day, contradicting what he said five minutes ago. He’s getting better if nothing else.

The Black and White is arming itself with various metal weapons such as crowbars and chains.

More fans think Page and Malone are going to win.

Here’s Stevie Ray who has demanded TV time tonight. He’s got a problem with that pipsqueak Chris Benoit and that ex-football player Steve McMichael. Everybody knows he could beat both of them one on one but Booker T wants a tag match. Stevie won’t say where Booker is right now but he’ll be here later for a tag match if the challenge is accepted.

Little Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero

Dragon is another guy from Dragon Gate who is better known as Dragon Kid. This is his only WCW appearance, meaning the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with him. Eddie quickly takes him down by the arm but Dragon flips out and hits a handspring elbow in the corner. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Dragon down again and Eddie hits the slingshot hilo to his back.

The fans chant for Chavo so Eddie hits a brainbuster. He looks all over the place for Chavo before going up for the frog splash. Here’s Chavo riding a hobby horse named Pepe and telling Eddie (“Little Trooper”) to keep going. Eddie tries to steal the horse and the distraction lets Dragon roll Eddie up for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but was more for the story than the match itself. Chavo is completely insane by this point and the character is getting over as a result. Imagine that: a veteran doing a story with a younger guy and the younger guy getting over. Also notice that Eddie hasn’t lost any of his heat at all and is getting better reactions from the crowd. Why is this such a hard concept to grasp?

Chris Jericho offers Ultimo Dragon a title shot on Thunder if Dragon takes Malenko out tonight.

More Nitro Girls.

Nitro Party winner.

Sumo Fuji/Judo Suwa vs. Giant

Rude and Hennig are here with Giant and Rude’s beard is getting out of control. Wade Boggs is here and Larry is furious for him shaking hands with the NWO. Neither Japanese guy comes up past Giant’s chest. Giant kicks Judo in the face and a double chokeslam ends this in less than 45 seconds.

The NWO clears the Dragon Gate guys out of the ring and says if Kevin Greene wants some right now, come get it. Greene comes to the aisle on his own with Hennig talking a lot of trash about the “non-athlete”. Goldberg shows up behind Greene and the good guys clear the ring. The Goldberg chant comes on, despite the crowd shots showing no one actually chanting.

More fans think Page and Malone will win.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with something to say. Hogan sings (meaning recites) his theme song’s lyrics on the way to the ring. Tony describes Hogan as magnificent, which doesn’t sound like something you say about your hated rival. Eric says Hogan used to want to be a truck mechanic so he can help if Malone and Page break down. Hogan talks about beating up truck drivers in Tampa years ago and promises to make Karl Malone famous tonight.

Hanging out with a loser like Page isn’t going to help Malone’s legacy and neither will Hogan turning the truck over on Malone’s back. Malone will end up shining Hollywood’s shoes because Karl couldn’t lace the black Jesus’ shoes on the basketball course. Tonight Hogan will take care of Malone by himself. Somehow this took seven minutes.

The truck is on the way, complete with a police escort. Also it’s apparently gone from full daylight to pitch black in about 20 minutes.

Hour #2 begins.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Jim Neidhart/British Bulldog

Non-title match. Luger is teaming with Sting again, making me wonder why Nash was given the title in the first place. Neidhart and Luger get us going by trading shoulder blocks until Luger clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and it’s off to Sting and Bulldog which pleases the fans quite a bit. Sting grabs a headlock and sends Bulldog to the floor for a breather.

Bulldog comes back in and wants to face his former Allied Powers teammate. They pose at each other until it’s off to Anvil for even more posing. Larry: “Is he flexing his beard?” Sting comes in and runs Neidhart around the ring before it’s back to Luger who is taken into the corner. Luger gets double teamed for a few seconds before coming back with a double clothesline to put both Neidhart and Luger down. Hot tag to Sting who cleans house and finishes Bulldog with the Death Drop.

Rating: D-. This was HORRIBLE with both teams taking as much time as they could doing as little as they could. Neidhart and Bulldog just weren’t working in WCW and I think everyone knew it. They really don’t have characters outside of being Bret’s relatives which doesn’t work when they’re not allowed to associate with him. It didn’t help that Bulldog was a shell of himself at this point and Anvil never was much of note without Bret.

More fans, same opinions.

Saturn vs. Reese

The monster pounds Saturn in the chest to start but Saturn superkicks Reese down to his knees. Reese grabs Saturn and gorilla presses him from one knee in an impressive power display. Some knees in the corner have Saturn in trouble but he kicks Reese in the knee and takes him down. A missile dropkick drops Reese before the Death Valley Driver is good for the pin. We can add Saturn to the list of guys that WCW amazingly managed to screw up.

The Flock immediately comes in and swarms Saturn. Raven says it’s time Saturn starts taking responsibility for his life. He talks about giving Saturn everything but Saturn never gave anything back. An Evenflow lays Saturn out just like it did Kanyon earlier.

We recap the NWO beating down Greene las tweek until Goldberg made the save.

The motorcade continues.

More Nitro Girls.

El Vampiro vs. Brad Armstrong

Vampiro looks much different without his facepaint. Feeling out process to start with Armstrong taking him into the corner but Vampiro lands on his feet off a monkey flip. A clothesline puts Vampiro down but he comes back with a nice spinning kick to the jaw. Vampiro scores again with a spinwheel kick to the face and the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. Just a squash even though Vampiro wouldn’t be back until next March.

Promo for the tag match at Bash at the Beach.

The NWO Late Night band is warming up. Oh this isn’t going to go well.

Tokyo Magnum/Shiima Nobunaga vs. Disco Inferno/Alex Wright

Nobunaga is more famous as Cima. Toyky starts dancing between Wright and Disco and takes his clothes off at the same time. Disco and Wright aren’t into the stripping stuff and pounds Tokyo out to the floor. Nobunaga starts with Alex and we get a rather nice wrestling sequence with Nobunaga taking over via a flying mare and a dropkick. Wright runs him over and tags in Disco who is sent chest first into the buckle and drokicked in the back.

Off to Magnum who walks into an atomic drop and it’s off to Wright for a spinwheel kick. Alex tries a slingshot splash but lands on knees to put him down. Back to Nobunaga for a springboard Swanton Bomb before it’s back to Tokyo to stomp away in the corner. Tokyo tries something out of the corner but slips down on the first try. A top rope hurricanrana brings Disco down but Wright comes in sans tag with a missile dropkick. Tokyo is knocked into the corner and it’s off to Nobunaga who gets caught by a neckbreaker from Alex for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a much better match than I was expecting with Nobunaga shining better than anyone else. Tokyo, who is mostly remembered in WCW as a comedy jobber, looked much better than I was expecting out there. Wright and Disco weren’t bad either, making for a nice though short match.

Disco and Alex argue over which music should play post match.

Tenay interviews fans about the tag match. Guess who they pick to win.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Dean Malenko

Fast start with Dragon cranking on the arm and taking Dean down with a flying mare. Malenko jumps over a leg sweep and avoids a kick before both guys try dropkicks to give us a standoff. Dragon grabs the arm to take over before shifting over the knee instead. We get the headstand out of the corner but Dean catches him coming out of the corner in a nasty looking release German suplex.

The rapid fire kicks have Dean in trouble but he rolls out of the Dragon Sleeper. Dragon takes him into the corner for the top rope hurricanrana but gets caught in the super gutbuster instead. This brings out Jericho to say this is where Dean’s father is buried. Dean lets go of the Cloverleaf to chase Jericho to the back for a countout.

Rating: C. The match was good while it lasted but just like the Eddie match it wound up being about storytelling instead of the match. That’s fine a lot of the time, but at some point there has to be a payoff for Dean. Yeah he won the title at Slamboree but it was taken away just a few weeks later. That kind of cheapens the win and a boost for Dean wouldn’t hurt.

Hour #3 begins.

We get a clip from Thunder of Arn Anderson saying the Horsemen are over.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Harlem Heat

Benoit and Booker get us going which is the best idea for everyone. Stevie comes in before there’s any contact though and gets stomped down into the corner with ease. A clothesline out of the same corner takes Benoit down and it’s off to Booker who gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Tag brings in Mongo to pound on Booker with his generic power offense until he charges into a boot in the corner.

Back to Stevie for his own generic power offense as the crowd audibly dies. Booker comes back in for a spinebuster for two but Benoit has had enough. Everything breaks down without any tags and here’s Bret Hart with a chair to blast Booker in the back, giving Mongo (who didn’t see Bret) a pin.

Rating: D+. Simple explanation for this: Booker and Benoit good, Stevie and Mongo bad. That’s as basic as you can get here and the fans seemed to feel the same. I’m not even sure why Stevie doesn’t like Benoit in the first place. Is it just because Benoit offered to help Booker whenever he needed it? That’s why we’ve in the third week of feuding?

Dean catches up with Jericho in the locker room and pounds on him until Ultimo Dragon tries to break it up. Malenko beats on him for a bit, allowing Jericho to escape.

The longest motorcade route in history continues.

It’s time for the Eric Bischoff Show. This is going to suck isn’t it? Eric (Bandleader: “One heck of a real swell guy!”) and Liz come out to a talk show set that is nearly identical to the Tonight Show. The bandleader says this is like the Barney and the motorcycle episode of Andy Griffith or the first time there were transgender truck drivers beating each other up on Jerry Springer.

The bandleader goes on a long rant about hot sauce on barbecue pork rinds in a trailer. I think this is supposed to be funny but the speech made me lose focus. The guest tonight is Scott Steiner who says his usual promo before talking about the tag match. He runs down Malone for his Rogaine commercials and says calling Malone the Mailman is fraud since he never delivers. Steiner says he’s got a co-star in his Hollywood project and promises to have him here next week. This was so far beyond stupid that it needs to study to get to dumb.

Booker comes out and says that he doesn’t always agree with Stevie Ray but that’s another story for another time. This is the second time that Bret Hart has come out here and hit him in the back of the head with a chair and Booker wants to know why. Stevie comes out and wants to know why Booker is challenging Bret, even though he didn’t do that yet. Booker does challenge Hart and here’s Bret, who says if there’s a challenge, just go ahead and “ax” him. The challenge is accepted but Booker better not cry when he loses. The match is on for the PPV but Stevie wanted Booker to jump Bret right there.

Hogan and Bischoff want Malone and Page here now. Hollywood has an idea though.

More Nitro Girls with the hometown girl Whisper getting a rare solo.

US Title: Glacier vs. Goldberg

Buffer does the big intro for what might last two minutes. For some reason Heenan thinks Glacier’s music is Goldberg’s. The champ’s entrance takes over two and a half minutes. Page and Malone are officially pulling up to the arena. Actually scratch that as they’re still a few blocks away. Goldberg tries his leg lock but Glacier comes back with kicks to the face. The champion completely no sells them and hits a kind of powerbomb. The spear and Jackhammer retain the belt. Typical Goldberg here.

The announcers talk about the motorcade again.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff for the big closing segment. Hogan says he hoped to take care of this really quickly but Malone and Page are clearly scared. The motorcade is finally arriving with a few minutes to go in the show. Hogan keeps calling them losers but doesn’t seem to know they’re here. Hogan: “At Bash at the Beach, I don’t even want you to tune in.” Nice promotion there dude.

The rest of the Black and White are shown in the parking lot as Malone and Page arrive. Both guys come inside while Hogan and Bischoff talk trash. Page and Malone come in another door and bypass the NWO entirely, allowing them to sneak up on Hogan and Bischoff, chairs in hand. Hogan and Bischoff see them in the ring with Bischoff being thrown to the floor. Malone says bring it and we get an over minute long standoff. They lock up with Malone slamming Hogan down and clotheslining him a few times.

The rest of the NWO comes out with weapons in hand but Page has….a microphone. He says Hogan got slammed dunked, punk. Page gets all witty and calls Dennis Rodman Denise before challenging him for next week. Malone says size does matter at Bash at the Beach. I’d like to remind you that there are about five NWO guys with crowbars and chains just standing in the aisle while Page and Malone talk. They do the Diamond Cutter sign to end the show. I’ll give Malone this: he looked like he was having a blast out there.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very different show but in a good way. First and foremost, while the basketball tag match was hyped a lot tonight, they toned it WAY down from last week. Last time they talked about the match every ten seconds or so, whereas this time was only every few minutes and for much shorter stretches of time. On top of that, there were some solid matches to go with the focus on storytelling. Tonight was mainly about building up the PPV and that’s something we had been needing for a good while. Nice show this week, even though things are going to be turned upside down soon.

 

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Bash at the Beach 1998
Date: July 12, 1998
Location: Cox Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 10,095
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

 

Remember that horrible main event last year with an NBA player in it? Well this one has two NBA players. Yes this time it’s DDP/Karl Malone vs. Hogan/Rodman. At least there’s a world title match here though as this is 6 days after Goldberg beat Hogan for the title so he’s got Hennig tonight. Also the annoying Kevin Greene is back because we need MORE non-wrestling athletes. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video more or less just lists off the participants in the matches I just told you.

 

The announcers talk forever about how huge this is.

 

Raven vs. Perry Saturn

 

Raven’s Rules of course. This is the beginning of the Saturn frees the Flock stuff. Lodi is dressed like Hat Guy. Riggs is with Raven and let’s talk about the main event. I mean we gave them a full half second after the bell rang to be about them. They fight outside and Raven goes into the railing. Into the ring and Saturn slips off the top. He catches himself on the mat though and hits a dropkick.

 

Saturn throws on a hold and Raven taps but it doesn’t count for whatever reason. He misses a guillotine legdrop though and Raven is able to get a table. Saturn manages to crotch him but misses a dive and lands on the floor again. Raven hits the Russian leg sweep into the railing. Sleeper doesn’t get Raven anywhere as Saturn gets a jawbreaker to counter.

 

Raven gets drilled in the corner with a bunch of kicks and now a suplex. Saturn grabs a chair and bashes Raven with it a few times but only gets two. Saturn sets for something but Riggs and Lodi come in for the save. Perry suplexes them both at once to send them flying and accidentally drills the referee. Out to the floor and Raven gets bulldogged into the steps. Saturn sets up another table and puts a table on top of him.

 

Saturn goes up top but Kanyon comes out and pulls Raven off the table before Saturn jumps. Saturn jumps anyway so are we supposed to believe Saturn just couldn’t see it? Seriously? Saturn mostly misses the tables anyway so he wouldn’t have hit Raven even if Kanyon hadn’t moved him. Kanyon hits a Flatliner (Downward Spiral) on Raven onto the chair. Saturn is rolled in and Raven gets two. Riggs comes in again and takes a DVD but the opening allows Raven to get the Evenflow DDT to end this.

 

Rating: C+. Some of the bumps here were pretty good but these two had the same match for like a year. This wasn’t too bad though, although the table bump was really stupid looking due to the total miss and Saturn looking like a total idiot. This feud would go on a few more months until Saturn freed the Flock, more or less ending their usefulness outside of Kidman.

 

Eddie says he’ll win his hair vs. hair match against Chavo because Chavo is insane. Also Chavo has a match with Stevie Ray before he has to face Eddie.

 

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

 

Not a title match here. Just a cruiserweight match for the sake of having a cruiserweight match. Juvy is a face and Kidman is a part of the Flock. They lock up to start and then slug it out for a bit before Kidman grabs a headlock. A lot of speed to start and Juvy takes over with a set of chops and a headscissors, followed by a clothesline to the floor. Lodi saves a big dive by Juvy and hits him with “Lethal” (Tony’s word not mine) forearms to the back.

 

Kidman misses a dive so Juvy shows him how it’s done, taking out Lodi and Kidman. He kicks Lodi’s hat and the fans boo. Back in the ring for another counter sequence but this one ends better for Kidman as he hits a wheelbarrow suplex. Out to the floor and Kidman picks him up for what looks like a powerbomb but drops Juvy backwards to clothesline him on the railing.

 

Kidman goes to the apron and dives into the railing by mistake to shift the momentum again. Juvy gets a sunset bomb to the floor after some resistance from Kidman. Tony of course calls it a sidewalk slam because he’s an idiot. Back in the ring Kidman uses a low blow to break up a top rope rana and hits a sitout spinebuster off the top in a cool move. It only gets two and we hit a well deserved chinlock.

 

More chopping and ducking follow and Juvy gets a rollup for two. Juvy gets tossed to the floor so Kidman goes up to dive. Juvy gets up for the save and Kidman gets crotched, followed by a springboard rana for two. Juvy gets a Rock Bottom suplex for two. Kidman pops up to hit a springboard bulldog for two (think Stratusfaction). Pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere but Kidman walks into the Juvy Driver for two. Juvy charges at Kidman and gets caught in a spinebuster. Kidman misses the Shooting Star and the miss is enough for Juvy to get the 450 for the pin.

 

Rating: B. Really good match here as this is what the cruiserweights were supposed to be about: just going out there and going insane, hitting all kinds of stuff you wouldn’t see elsewhere. Kidman would get a lot better and Juvy would decline a bit as a heel but this was still awesome stuff. Really liked it as they just went out and had a good match. What more can you ask of them?

 

Konnan is on an internet chat. Konnan on the internet is never a good thing. Just ask X.

 

Stevie Ray vs. Chavo Guerrero

 

Not sure why Stevie was picked but this was so that Chavo wouldn’t be at 100% to face Eddie later. Chavo is crazy at this point. He comes out with a water gun and an inner tube around his stomach. Eddie comes out with some scissors to great heat. Chavo dedicates this to his favorite wrestler, Eddie Guerrero. The hair vs. hair match is right after this. Chavo avoids Stevie then poses and dances. He offers a handshake which Stevie actually accepts. While in the handshake, Chavo submits. Apparently Chavo is crazy like a psycho.

 

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerrero

 

Chavo bites him to start as Mike talks about the significance of hair vs. hair in Mexico. Now Chavo dances some more as we haven’t had any significant contact in the first two minutes or so. Eddie gets a chair and that doesn’t work of course. Chavo sits in said chair and maybe now we can get a match? Eddie offers a handshake and Chavo takes it, pulling him into a clothesline.

 

We finally get going after two and a half minutes. Backdrop to Eddie so he hides with the referee. Chavo bites him again as this isn’t much of a match for the first three and a half minutes so far. Eddie gets a dropkick to the knee and fires off some shoulders to the back. Slingshot hilo has Chavo in more trouble. After nothing of note on the floor there’s the Gory Special to Chavo. Nice touch.

 

Camel clutch goes on. Did someone grab a camel in that once and say it seemed like a good name for a wrestling match? Out to the floor and Eddie rams his head into the steps. There go the mats at ringside and Eddie wants a brainbuster. Chavo counters into a regular suplex and Eddie is in trouble. The younger one goes up and is crotched so Eddie hits a superplex to put both guys down.

 

Chavo gets the advantage and tries a frog splash but Eddie gets the knees up just in time. Eddie tries Chavo’s tornado DDT and this time it hits, allowing Eddie to grab some scissors before it’s time. Frog splash by Eddie misses and now Chavo hits the tornado DDT. He grabs the scissors, allowing Eddie to get a small package for the pin.

 

Rating: C. Not as good as you would expect here as they were kind of all over the place. The comedy at the beginning didn’t work and they were more or less mirroring each other after that. It’s not bad but for Chavo vs. Eddie you kind of expect a lot more than what you got here.

 

Post match Chavo goes insane and cuts his own hair while he makes sound effects. He plays the psycho really well.

 

Apparently Malenko vs. Jericho is off due to Malenko snapping and beating up Jericho on Nitro. Jericho will defend the title against a mystery opponent later tonight.

 

Konnan vs. Disco Inferno

 

This is an added bonus match. It’s a Wrestlezone special I guess. Disco is billed from Funkytown of all places. Alex Wright is with Disco here and tries to speak some Spanish. Thankfully Mike and Tony are here to tell us they can’t speak Spanish. Where would we be without them to explain jokes to us? Nash and Luger are with Konnan. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Nash talks for awhile to eat up more time.

 

Disco gets beaten down quickly which shouldn’t surprise anyone. We hear about Disco’s legit good resume in wrestling which is often forgotten. Disco gets in some jobber offense as it’s pretty clear what we’ve got on our hands here. Wright gets in some shots while Luger/Nash aren’t thrilled with it. There’s a Rack for Wright and a powerbomb for Disco. Tequila Sunrise ends this squash.

 

The Giant vs. Kevin Greene

 

Giant is black and white and Greene is here because WCW isn’t that smart. Greene is a guy that wasn’t that skilled but he was clearly having a blast out there and wanted to be out there doing this. He runs a lot which is smart strategy. Greene kicks the rope into the Little Giants and tries some punches in the corner but gets caught in a spinebuster (called a gutwrench waistlock slam by Tony) and the beating begins.

 

The fans chant for Goldberg but he’s not coming for a bit longer. The scary thing about Giant here is that he’s 26 years old. Bobby implies that Giant might be able to reach Andre’s undefeated streak. Dude, seriously? Greene tries a comeback and a headbutt stops that cold. After a brief thing on the floor Greene hits a forearm off the top and goes after the knee. He charges out of the corner into the chokeslam though and we’re done.

 

Rating: C+. This grade isn’t the same as I would use for a regular wrestling match. This was a wrestler vs. a football player and considering that, this was pretty good actually. Greene wasn’t supposed to be anything special and he was trying, which is exactly what he was supposed to do. Nothing great mind you, but all things considered this was fine.

 

Hennig says he can beat Goldberg.

 

We recap Malenko losing his title shot after Jericho cost him a match and then implied that Dean’s dad slept around and that his mother was a w****.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

 

Jericho doesn’t know who he’s facing and he comes out in a top hat with a cane and does a softshoe routine. JJ Dillon comes out and makes the match. Apparently it’s with a local kid that hasn’t wrestled in six months. It’s also No DQ still which was to be the stipulation with Malenko.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Rey takes over to start and is more muscular than he used to be. After a bit on the floor, Jericho gets a shot to the knee back in the ring. Jericho has apparently had enough and goes up to the set, more or less ending the interesting part of the match. They fight up a lifeguard chair and Rey dives onto Jericho on the sand. Back to the ring and Jericho gets a nice powerslam off the top (called a top rope powerslam by Tony. Wait that was correct. I need a minute to recover from that one).

 

Jericho tries to Pillmanize the leg but Rey moves, sending Jericho crashing into the chair. Rey swings away at it and dropkicks it into the knee. Jericho is in trouble all of a sudden and a facejam looks to set up the West Coast Pop. Liontamer is blocked and Rey gets to the ropes. Here comes Malenko as Jericho tries the Liontamer again. Rey rolls through for the pin and the title. Note here that Malenko DID NOT TOUCH JERICHO. He wasn’t in the ring, he wasn’t within 20 feet of the ring.

 

Rating: C-. Not much here at all but the opening was good. After that the whole thing changed and given that the match was only about six minutes long, I’m not sure what was going on here. Rey didn’t look completely comfortable on the knee so maybe that was it. Also, the reason to note Dean’s lack of involvement was the title would be returned to Jericho the next night due to Dean’s “interference”.

 

Malenko and Jericho fight to the back as Jericho tries to escape.

 

TV Title: Bret Hart vs. Booker T

 

Bret still hasn’t really done anything so let’s take that big acquisition and put him in the lower midcard and in the NWO. You know, because he’s just another guy. Booker is champion if that wasn’t clear. They head to the mat and Bret comes out ahead there. Booker gets a cross body for two. Bret is sent to the floor and is in trouble already. He does manage to take over on the floor and takes over back inside.

 

Booker is still in trouble as they go outside. He goes into the railing and Bret rams his back into the post which isn’t a DQ somehow. Five Moves of Doom get some two counts. This is really boring. Booker tries his Jack Brisco sunset flip out of the corner but botches it badly. Booker gets a kick to put Bret down and follows it up with the axe kick and Bret is down. There’s a flapjack and Booker spins up. Missile dropkick gets two. And never mind as Bret hits Booker with a chair for a DQ. Give me a break.

 

Rating: D-. Just a really boring match here as Bret continues to be totally wasted. I mean seriously, Booker T is good but at this point he should have bowed down to Bret and thanked him for beating him for the TV Title. Bret would FINALLY get something a few weeks later, winning the vacant US Title. Still though, this was really bad and the ending hurt it horribly.

 

Bret destroys the knee until Stevie walks out and tells him to stop.

 

Video on Goldberg who won the title six days ago. Also Hall got destroyed earlier in the night. The video makes it look like Goldberg squashed Hall in about 9 seconds. I still can’t believe they just had Goldberg beat Hogan on 4 days’ notice for the title on free TV. But hey, they managed to beat Raw for one night. Who cares that it would have brought in hundreds of thousands of buys and millions of dollars on PPV?

 

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

 

This was added during the week, probably on Thunder. Hennig of course bounces around like a pinball. Goldberg tries his rolling leg lock and messes it up so Curt hits the floor. He tries to go up top and that totally fails. Hennig tries to go after the leg and spends a minute or so doing that as the fans chant for the champion. This time Goldberg manages to get the leg lock but walks into the Perfectplex for two. Spear and Jackhammer end this maybe a second later.

 

Rating: D. Just a squash here which isn’t what is supposed to happen on a PPV in a world title match. It wasn’t anything we hadn’t seen a hundred times (literally) before. Goldberg would mow through everyone until the idiocy of Halloween Havoc and the further idiocy of Starrcade. Nothing match here that wasn’t even four minutes long.

 

We recap the main event. Basically WCW decided to bring in celebrities for the sake of bringing in celebrities, making the main event wrestler/NBA player vs. wrestler/NBA player. Allegedly Rodman wasn’t seen until a few hours before show time and was in no condition to perform here. Did I mention this match is going to have half an hour to fill?

 

Hulk Hogan/Dennis Rodman vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Karl Malone

 

I actually watched this show when it aired with a buddy of mine and he said it looked like Malone and Page jumped into a vat of glue with their jeans on. I think he’s onto something with that theory. For some reason the heels’ music changes from Voodoo Child to the traditional NWO song halfway through their entrance. Malone comes out to some bad rap song. Dang he has long arms.

 

The basketball players start us off and it’s time to stall. Minute and a half of no contact yet. Test of strength is teased but Malone slaps Rodman’s hand away. It was Malone’s idea mind you. Two minutes in now and no real contact. They lock up and Rodman grabs a headlock. And never mind as we need to stall some more as Rodman goes to the floor. 2:45 in now with a headlock being all the contact. The world title match was 3:50. Off to Hogan vs. Malone and they have a pose off. Test of strength is teased….and doesn’t happen.

 

This match is officially longer than the world title match and we’ve had a total of one headlock. I actually want to see how far they can take this. At 4:12, they lock up. Malone puts on a hold that I don’t have an actual name for. It’s kind of like a headlock I guess. Picture a guy setting for a left armed Rock Bottom and clasping his arms around and kind of holding them there. Malone slams him (not bad) and it’s off to Page. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to see DDP in a match.

 

Page of course wants Rodman because we haven’t been bored enough yet. They lock up and it’s time to stall AGAIN. The fans chant boring and I can’t blame them. We’re at 6:00 now and here’s what’s happened so far: headlock, tieup, that hold Malone did, slam and another tieup. Seriously, NOTHING ELSE HAS HAPPENED. Jericho vs. Mysterio was 6:00 and it was bad, but at least it was a match.

 

They tieup again and Page shoves him off again. Page and Rodman spit at each other as we add an “armdrag” to the list of what’s gone on. This is now longer than Giant vs. Greene. The announcers freak and Hogan struts on the apron. Page grabs a headlock and even Tony is saying this is something of note finally. They collide and Rodman goes down. Another lockup and Rodman puts on headlock #4 as we hit the 8:00 mark.

 

We now see why Rodman is either drunk, high, or just awful at this. Rodman has a headlock on and Page tries to shoot him into the ropes. That’s a counter that I’m sure you’ve seen hundreds of times. Nothing special about it and perfectly normal. Rodman falls down and pulls Page with him, resulting in Page getting a two count. This is just embarrassing at this point. Actually it was embarrassing five minutes ago.

 

Page now with a head/chin lock and gets sent into the ropes. Rodman rams him with a shoulder block….and falls forward, allowing Page to get two again. Fans are openly booing now as Malone comes in. Rodman never gets up and tags Hogan. Hogan puts on a top wristlock which is shrugged off by Malone. Malone obviously isn’t skilled, but he’s trying and is fired up out there, which is really all you can ask for.

 

We’re over ten minutes in now and somehow that’s not even halfway through. Rodman actually does something as he hits a double axe to Malone to give Hulk the advantage. Hogan chokes a lot as you have to wonder why DDP vs. Hogan hasn’t gotten more time. I mean, they actually, know how to wrestle and such. Hogan slams him and drops some elbows. Back to Rodman who looks sleepy.

 

Rodman rams Malone into Hogan’s boot and it’s back to Hulk. Malone’s selling is pretty good actually. Off to a chinlock for a bit and Rodman comes in to hold Malone. Hogan punches Malone and Rodman falls down. Belly to back to Malone with Hogan making sure to be as careful as possible. Malone finally gets the hot tag to Page and he comes in off the top with a clothesline.

 

Things wake up for about 15 seconds until Rodman knees him in the back to let Hulk take over again. There’s the weightlifting belt to Page’s back. This is so boring it’s unreal. Double clothesline puts Page down. Hogan chokes him in the corner as we’re finally in a regular match with more than a move every three minutes. And never mind as that’s enough for Hogan so it’s off to Dennis again.

 

The heels seem like they don’t want to stay in the ring at all. Hogan suplexes Page and it’s back to The Worm. The fans chant for Page who at least fights back. Rodman puts a front chancery on as Malone plays cheerleader. The heels switch without a tag and the legdrop misses. Off to Malone who does some very basic stuff but does it well enough, all things considered. Double noggin knocker puts the heels down.

 

Malone hits a big boot and it’s not bad at all. Off to Page again and there’s the Diamond Cutter to FINALLY wake the crowd up. Malone hits what is supposed to be a Diamond Cutter on Rodman but was more like he grabbed Rodman’s shirt and pulled him down with it. The referee has to get Malone out so Disciple comes in to hit a Stunner on Page for Hogan to get the cheap pin.

 

Rating: N. As in no or not acceptable. This was the match that the show was sold on and it was atrocious. The idea of putting celebrities in the main event, even athletic ones, is stupid for one simple reason: they can’t wrestle. They’re not trained to do it and they don’t know how to do it.

 

Having Malone and Rodman as seconds or enforcers or whatever while Page and Hogan have a match is fine, but having like 8 minutes of stalling because they don’t know what to do isn’t fine. This is on WCW, not Rodman who at least showed something resembling interest (despite failing completely) and Malone who was trying. Horrible, HORRIBLE main event and match in general.

 

Malone hits a much better Diamond Cutter on Disciple post match. The referee gets one too as the NWO celebrates.

 

Overall Rating: D-. This is a fine example of how short term thinking can mess up a whole show. This was all messed up because the two big matches, as in the world title and main event, were either bad or really short due to the booking being changed or stupid from the beginning. The rest of the card is just your run of the mill WCW show which means it’s mostly weak with a good match sprinkled in here or there. Overall though this felt awful and like a nothing show, which isn’t good. Somehow it would get even worse next month with Hogan/Bischoff vs. DDP/Jay Leno. We’ll get to that later.
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