Impact Wrestling
Date: November 22, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Taz

It’s Thanksgiving and tonight is Open Fight Night. Since no one is watching tonight, the hook of the show is that the Gut Check guys are coming back to issue the challenges. In other words, tonight we’re basically going to have nothing but OVW guys fighting people from TNA. Why do I watch this every week again? Let’s get to it.

Gut Check: Wes Brisco vs. Garrett Bischoff

Oh come on man. This is what we’re opening with? Wes takes it to the mat very quickly but Brisco takes him down even faster. A legdrop misses and here’s Angle to watch Brisco who he’s kind of mentoring. Both guys try dropkicks at the same time and it’s a standoff. Garrett takes him to the mat again with a headlock takeover but Brisco comes back with a neckbreaker for two. Garrett hooks a chinlock and this is already dull. They trade some pinfall attempts and Garrett takes him down with a flapjack for two. Brisco comes back with Kofi’s SOS for the pin at 4:16. Ignore that Brisco’s shoulders were down too.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where everything was technically fine but it’s a guy in his first match against a guy that no one likes at all. Based on that, why am I supposed to care about something like this? Brisco winning doesn’t mean much as he beat a jobber, but that doesn’t guarantee him a contract right? Nothing to see here.

Al Snow pumps up the Gut Check guys in the back.

Angle congratulates both guys in the back.

Here’s Joey Ryan for a chat. He says that it’s Open Fight Night for the Gut Check winners, but he didn’t need to win Gut Check at all. Hogan thinks he can split up Morgan and Ryan to conquer them, but you can’t divide the tag champions which is what Ryan and Morgan will become.

Joey Ryan vs. Chavo Guerrero

Ryan jumps Chavo as he comes in but Chavo comes back with right hands very quickly. Joey misses a charge in the corner but decks Guerrero anyway to take over. A dropkick gets one and it’s chinlock time. That goes nowhere so Guerrero dropkicks Ryan down and wins a slugout. Chavo gets sent to the apron but elbows Ryan down and hits the slingshot hilo. The Three Amigos look to set up the Frog Splash but Morgan comes in and chokeslams Chavo down for the DQ at 3:50.

Rating: C. This was better than the opening match but it doesn’t make me want to see a tag title match between the two teams. It looks like Ryan is a guy that knows about two moves and who Chavo had beaten in less than four minutes. I really don’t get why Ryan and Morgan are together but they likely shouldn’t be.

Hernandez clears Morgan out of the ring.

Aries says he’s got someone special in mind to call out tonight and it’ll be a family affair.

Sam Shaw vs. Alex Silva

I’m not going to bother talking about the call outs unless there’s something significant because it looks like they’re going to be “I want to fight *insert name here*!” Silva, who has some VERY skinny legs, charges at Shaw and takes him down almost immediately. We hear about OVW and how it’s the developmental territory which is kind of strange to hear on a national TV show. Silva misses a legdrop but stays on offense anyway. Shaw snaps and hits a spear and a bunch of dropkicks followed by Orton’s backbreaker and a neckbreaker for no cover. A guillotine legdrop (called the Breaking Point for some reason) ends Silva at 4:00.

Rating: D+. What I saw here were two guys that have no character, no stories and no business being on national TV. There wasn’t anything terrible in it but there’s also no reason to care. Basically all that happened here was “Hey, remember these guys? They lost matches earlier this year and now they’re back!” Not really interesting, but again no one is watching tonight. Except me. I hate my life.

Eric Young and ODB have the turkey suit and go in to see Hogan. Turkey jokes are made and Hogan says ok but get out of here. Hogan: “When I grow up, I want to be him.” O……k?

Eric and ODB run into the Rob’s and apparently Big Rob was scarred for life because of being in the turkey suit last week. Jesse and Tara pop up and apparently there’s going to be a triple threat turkey match. Rob and Jesse have a tool off in a bizarrely intriguing moment.

We recap the Aces and 8’s hammer attacks. This leads to a video about Joseph Park’s story with the gang.

Aces and 8’s have a Thanksgiving feast and Doc is a fully patched member. Apparently some guy named VP gets to throw the next dart to decide who the target is.

Video on Christian York and his Gut Check experience.

Christian York vs. Jeff Hardy

See, THIS is the kind of call out that actually works. Feeling out process to start and Hardy elbows York into the corner. This is non-title of course. York comes back with some kicks to send Hardy into the corner again and we take a break at a standoff. Back with Hardy sending Christian into the corner but the Twist of Fate misses, giving York two.

York hits a half nelson suplex and puts on a kind of Octopus hold while on his back. That gets broken up but the Twist of Fate doesn’t work. York hits a Twist on Hardy for two but a swinging neckbreaker is countered into the sitout gordbuster. Jeff goes up but has to settle for a sunset bomb off the top instead of the Swanton. There’s the Twist and the Swanton gets the pin at 10:58.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here but I was so bored sitting through it. At the end of the day, York is a guy we’ve seen once and we’re supposed to buy him as having a chance against Jeff Hardy? York looked decent out there and got to show off a bit, but this night of no stories isn’t doing anything for me at all.

Post match Roode comes in and hits a spinebuster on York and a spear on Hardy for good measure.

We look at Taeler Hendrix’s Gut Check. At least she’s something to look at.

Brooke Hogan comes up to waste our time with Taeler Hendrix.

Taeler Hendrix vs. Tara

Non-title again. Tara throws her around, massages Jesse, and chokes Taeler a bit. Taeler hits something vaguely resembling a dropkick to send Tara into Jesse followed by a spinning suplex slam (think Cena’s finishing sequence) for two and a cross body for the same. A high kick gets two for Taeler but Tara hits ajawbreaker and a big right hand with some overselling by Hendrix. Widow’s Peak ends it at 4:20.

Rating: D. Again, why is this supposed to be interesting? We have a bit name chick and a no name chick and the big name chick beat up the no name chick. Why is that supposed to be interesting? Hendrix seems to be a nice girl but she’s not ready yet for something like this, which is the problem with modern wrestling: she needs experience but after you work the indies, you’re told you have to learn a mainstream style so there’s no point to going to the indies anymore, meaning you get a lot of inexperienced people on the main shows who are there because of potential. That’s not good for the future of wrestling.

Eric Young vs. Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E

The loser has to wear a turkey suit. I think I smell a comedy match. Eric locks up with the referee to start and then clotheslines down the other two guys. The heels beat Eric down and then get in a fight of their own for no apparent reason other than that’s how triple threats work. Eric comes back as ODB and Tara get in a fight in the ring. They do the roll on the referee spot and Jesse is sent to the floor. The Rob’s have miscommunication and Eric throws E to the floor. The Stunner is broken up and an O’Connor Roll pins Jesse at 3:33.

Rating: D+. It was a comedy match and that’s it. Eric did his schtick and we get a comedy payoff with Jesse in a turkey suit. Again though, this is one of those matches that just don’t matter. Then again, this show doesn’t matter at all so it’s not like this means anything. It’s tradition I guess.

Jesse puts the suit on and hates it of course. The important thing though is here are Aces and 8’s to destroy Eric with the hammer. That’s likely his exit from the company and hopefully the end of the stupid Knockout Tag Titles.

Here are Daniels and Kaz with Daniels talking about the “final” battle with AJ coming up at Final Resolution. However tonight, it’s Kaz vs. Styles.

Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

I’m surprised they have to feel each other out given how many times they’ve fought. AJ hits the drop down/kick to send Kaz to the floor and a headscissors takes Kaz down back in the ring. Styles gets knocked down out of the corner and Kaz pounds away, hitting a gutwrench suplex for two. AJ makes a quick comeback but gets taken down by a DDT. A sunset flip out of the corner by Styles is countered into a cover but Kaz is caught holding the ropes. Earl Hebner shoves Kaz into a rollup for two but there’s the Pele for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it’s too late to save this show. You can’t have a show be this boring to start things off before having some good stuff at the end and expect people to care about it still. AJ is fine in the ring and it’s good to see him have a story, but do we REALLY need to see him vs. Daniels again? There’s no one else he can fight? Really?

Here’s Aries to end the show. He’s in a suit so this isn’t likely going to be a match. Aries thinks the deck is stacked against him in the last few months and that’s because of Hogan. So he calls out…..Brooke Hogan. Well of course he does. He’s tired of hearing about the name Hogan all the time and knows Brooke is waiting to get married to get rid of that name. Maybe she could be Miss Brooke McMahon or Brooke Trump?

Apparently it’s going to be Miss Bully Ray because Aries has footage. WHAT IS WITH THE HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP THEME IN WRESTLING ANYMORE??? It’s the same clips we’ve seen of the two of them together the last two weeks. Aries says he’ll give her all the stuffing she wants, which brings out Hulk and Ray to chase Aries off. Brooke looks back and forth between Hulk and Bully while giving Hulk a look as if to say she’s sorry. Brooke runs off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but as I’ve said earlier, I know why it happened. The audience for this is likely to be weak so why bother wasting a big show on it? They just cooled their heels a bit here to waste some time which is understandable, but it doesn’t make the show easy to sit through. The Gut Check guys won’t be seen again for months and I can’t say I’m complaining at all. Back to normal next week I’m sure.

Results

Wes Brisco b. Garrett Bischoff – Side Cradle

Chavo Guerrero b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered

Sam Shaw b. Alex Silva – Breaking Point

Jeff Hardy b. Christian York – Swanton Bomb

Tara b. Taeler Hendrix – Widow’s Peak

Eric Young b. Jesse Godderz and Robbie E – Rollup to Godderz

AJ Styles b. Kazarian – Pele

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 15, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Taz

We’re past Turning Point now and the main stories are of course Aces and 8’s being uninteresting and Hardy vs. Storm at Final Resolution. AJ can’t have a world title shot until BFG 13 because of getting pinned in the three way. Tonight we start the build to the next PPV which in December I believe. Oh and this is taped because of the Thanksgiving holidays next week. Let’s get to it.

We open with the still stupid voiceover which isn’t as bad as WWE’s but it’s still stupid. The main matches from the PPV are recapped.

Here’s Storm to open the show. He talks about how hard he’s worked and it finally paid off with the world title shot….and here’s Roode. He’s got a pair of beer bottles with him as this feud is continuing for some reason that makes no sense. Roode says he’s here to join in the celebration and not for a fight. He points out that Storm beat AJ and not Roode on Sunday, so Storm is yet again using Roode’s success to move forward.

Roode talks about how Storm’s family, including his little daughter, is going to look at Storm as a failure. The brawl is on and Roode bails. Storm says bring it on but Roode wants the title shot on the line. Cowboy says no, so Roode says he’ll screw Storm’s daughter when she’s of age and the match is officially on. Dear goodness they’re really going to do this aren’t they?

Hogan says he feels bad for AJ for not getting a title shot.

We recap the attack on Sting last week.

Aces and 8’s tell Doc he has to earn his spot back again. He has to hand in his vest for the moment. D-Von throws a dart at the new target for tonight.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kid Kash

Van Dam is defending of course. Kash jumps him as he comes into the ring and they start fast. This would have been way better in ECW but it’s over eleven years since that company closed and Kash is still a Kid somehow. They ram into each other a few times before Kash ranas RVD to the floor. Tenay says Kash is also an MMA fighter which would be hilarious to see. Kash dives onto the floor onto Van Dam which doesn’t look bad.

Back in and Kash hits a clothesline out of the corner but misses a moonsault. Rob kicks him down and hits Rolling thunder for two as Tenay talks about Rob being a three time world champion, talking about the ECW Title, the WWE Title and the TNA world title. You know, because that ECW Title was the same as the WWE Title and all that jazz. Monkey Flip sets up the Five Star to retain at 4:08.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than a quick title defense for Van Dam. To say this division is worthless at the moment is an understatement as other than Van Dam, Kash and Ryan I guess, is there anyone else around? Ion I guess, but dang that’s not much as far as depth goes. Just a match here really.

Eric and ODB talk about fishing and kiss some more. End this already.

Angle needs a tag partner against Aces and 8’s and he picks……Garrett Bischoff. Well the other option was Wes Brisco so this isn’t a huge loss.

Jesse Godderz vs. Eric Young

Yep, it’s still going. Eric does the stupid lock up with the referee and gets jumped from behind as Jesse takes over. This continues to go very slowly as Jesse only has minor skills in the ring at the moment. I can live with him going all slow and everything though as that’s what heels usually do. Eric makes a quick comeback but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to stop it cold. Eric Hulks Up and strips down as the girls get in another fight. A powerslam puts Jesse down for two but Eric gets shoved into the barricade to stop him again. Back in and Jesse hits a bicep pose Stunner for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D+. Again not terrible but I’m not sold on Jesse yet. He’s better than I expected but I can’t stand nonsense like Big Brother and other reality shows, nor can I stand hearing about how these people are celebrities. While they’re famous, their only talent is having a camera following them around. I’ll cut myself off from a long rant there, as the match was fine for what it was.

We recap Park vs. Doc on Sunday where Park snapped into Abyss for a few moments before getting beaten down again and losing.

Park asks Hogan for one more shot but Hogan can’t put him in the ring again because Park isn’t a wrestler. Park says he’ll become a wrestler by going to a wrestling camp. I’m intrigued.

TV Title: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? Joe has beaten him what, three times in a row now? Oh wait never mind as Aces and 8’s jump Magnus, who is apparently the target for tonight. Doc hits Magnus in the leg with the hammer. D-Von gets a bat but Bully Ray makes the save.

We recap the ladder match from Sunday. Aries shows off the welts on his back and goes to get a massage. He’s not done with Jeff Hardy either. Aries goes in to get his massage but finds Hardy. He rants about Hardy having an advantage or something and leaves with no massage. Hardy responds with an inner monologue. This is still freaking stupid. I get how it can work on taped shows, but how is this supposed to work when the show is live?

Kurt Angle/Garrett Bischoff vs. Aces and 8’s

No members listed here so we’ll call them #1 and #2. Oh wait one is D-Von so we’ll call them D-Von and Potato. After a brawl we get down to D-Von vs. Angle with Potato coming in quickly thereafter. Angle is like I CAN BAKE YOU WITH CHIVES AND SOUR CREAM but now it’s off to Garrett and things get a lot worse all of a sudden. Garrett grabs the arm and it’s back to Kurt, thank goodness.

D-Von comes in as well and pounds away as this is going nowhere so far. Off to Potato again for the mashed facelock. Angle snaps off a German and gives D-Von one as well. Everything breaks down and Doc brings in the hammer. Wes Brisco comes in with a pipe for the save and Angle low blows Potato for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Why did this match exist? I want an answer to that question. Angle had no business being in there because there’s no way to buy him as being in danger from anyone in the biker gang. What’s the point in watching Angle beat up D-Von and some other guy who we don’t even know? That’s the problem with this story: there’s no story to it other than Ray vs. D-Von.

Tara and Jesse go in to see Brooke but finds her with Ray, who leaves awkwardly. Tara complains about various things and Brooke blows her off. I have no idea why Brooke is here at all.

Dixie doesn’t know why AJ is so off.

Knockouts Battle Royal

Gail Kim, Mickie James, Madison Rayne, ODB, Miss Tessmacher

This is Mickie’s big return so who do you think is winning here? Yep, we have five people in a battle royal and that’s it. This is your standard battle royal start with no one being eliminated in the early going. Gail and Madison work together and beat on Tess and ODB but Tessmacher comes back to beat on them both with ease. And never mind as the evil chicks eliminate her together. ODB and Mickie hit stereo Thesz Presses on the evil ones and ODB has a shot from the flask.

Both evil ones get slammed into ODB’s crotch as ODB sits on the top. Madison poses a bit on the apron and gets flask contents spat into her face for the elimination. Gail throws out ODB and we’re down to one on one. A clothesline in the corner has Mickie in trouble but she comes out with a rana to send Kim to the floor for the title shot at 5:30.

Rating: D. This was your usual battle royal: nothing interesting and the girls just wasting time until we got down to the end. Mickie winning was as obvious as you could get, especially with how much they were hyping up her return. This means we get Mickie vs. Tara. Again.

James Storm is ready. AJ comes up and glares at him.

Doc gets thrown out of Aces and 8’s. Oh never mind no he doesn’t because they’re just messing with him. Riveting stuff here. They do know he’s Luke Freaking Gallows right? That’s who they’re wasting this much time and effort on?

We recap the triple threat match from Sunday.

Here’s AJ to address his loss. He talks about how bad his year has gone and we recap the Claire Lynch storyline. The thing that bothers him more than anything else is that people doubted him. He doesn’t like getting so close to the main event of BFG and coming up just short. This brings out Kaz and Daniels.

Oh COME ON. I know the matches are going to be good, but is there NO ONE else on the roster these people can fight? I’m just saying BRANCH OUT already. They say it’s AJ’s fault and there’s going to be ONE MORE MATCH between AJ and Daniels. Is anyone shocked by this? Really? This somehow takes almost five minutes to get through once they come out.

Aries talks about non-verbal communication which he’s used to make things happen. Ok then.

Angle pitches the idea of Wes Brisco being on Gut Check next week and apparently it’s going to happen.

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm

The winner gets the title shot at Final Resolution. The match has a sponsor which I’ve seen before but not in years. Storm pounds him into the corner to start and clotheslines Roode down. That’s not a good sign as the guy who often starts fast winds up losing. Roode gets in a shot and takes down the buckle pad like a good evil man. We take a break and come back with Roode in control and working on the arm.

Off to a top wristlock on Storm followed by a whip into the corner for two. Back to the wristlock as Storm is in trouble. They slug it out and Storm hits a Russian legsweep for two. An enziguri puts Roode down again and the Cowboy goes up, only to get crotched almost immediately. Roode’s superplex is countered into a sunset bomb for two as things slow down a bit.

The Eye of the Storm is countered into the spinebuster and the Crossface on the bad arm. Roode can’t quite get it on full and Storm gets a rope. We’ll call that .5 Benoit or so. Backstabber puts Roode down as does a Codebreaker, but the Last Call misses. Roode throws him into the buckle and gets a rollup with trunks to get the title shot at 8:27 shown of 11:57.

Rating: C. The match was fine, but this is one of TNA’s classic problems: apparently screw the fans that bought the PPV because of the three way, because we’re just going to change it all up now. As always, if this is the finish you want, WHY NOT DO THAT FREAKING FINISH IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Are they that afraid of pushing Storm for some reason? He gets great reactions and can have good matches, but for some reason they keep saying just hang on a bit longer. We’ll it’s been a lot longer and people are going to stop caring REALLY soon.

Roode celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. So let’s see: Aces and 8’s means nothing at all, Storm loses AGAIN, we’re getting Mickie vs. Tara for the 985^th time, and Styles vs. Daniels for the 1384575th time? What good came out of this show? No Morgan, no Joe, no advancement of anything, and it’s Roode vs. Hardy, even though Aries seems to want another shot at Hardy.

Oh and on top of all that, Ray AGAIN barely does anything because he got over and got turned face so we can’t use him in anything other than incriminating scenes which we likely won’t get any resolution to this year. This show made me roll my eyes more than anything else, which is very annoying.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Kid Kash – Five Star Frog Splash

Jesse Godderz b. Eric Young – Stunner

Kurt Angle/Garrett Bischoff b. Aces and 8’s – Rollup to Masked Man

Mickie James won a battle royal last eliminating Gail Kim

Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I mentioned this in the review last night but it deserves its own mention here.Last night on Raw, we saw WWE rip off the Clair Lynch storyline that TNA ran a few months back.  We have Cena in the role of AJ Styles, being accused of an affair and having a plausible excuse for every piece of evidence presented to him.  Vickie is now playing the role of Kaz and Daniels as the accuser and AJ is playing a not-angry Clair Lynch.  This is the consensual PG version, but it’s the same story.

If this is the best they can come up with, they’re in trouble.

Note that this contains spoilers for this week’s Impact so if you do not want to be surprised by it, do not read this until after Thursday’s show.The latest rumor going around is that Clair Lynch, who is portrayed by a model and actress named Julia Reilly, is quitting the company because she was embarrassed when her name and picture were shown on a wrestling message board. If this is the case, I have something I’d like to say to/regarding Ms. Reilly.

If it’s true that she’s quitting because she didn’t want to be associated with wrestling and she’s embarrassed by people knowing she works for a wrestling company, screw her. No seriously, get off my TV and never come back.

Yes, Julia Reilly, you work for a wrestling company. I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s true. I know it must suck as an actress and a model to be put on live national television every week in a featured role, which is more than probably 99% of actresses will ever get and I’m sorry you were paid to do it.

I’m a wrestling fan and I’ve been one for well over 20 years. I’m also a college graduate with a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Kentucky. What Ms. Reilly is saying is that people like me that watch her performances and potentially pay money out of our pockets to see the resolutions and advancements in her storylines are beneath her and she doesn’t want her name associated with us, our kind, or the thing we’re interested in watching. If this is true, then I feel no sympathy for her and I hope that someday her career fails to the point where she can’t get any other job than as someone who used to be on a wrestling show and even then gets turned away. I haven’t heard of such arrogance in a long time and it’s disgusting to me as a wrestling fan. I guess wrestling just isn’t as classy as a damsel in distress from a series who tells kids to eat their vegetables so they’ll get big and strong.

In short, get over yourself Julia Reilly. You’re not better than us and you likely never will be. I’m sorry that you think this is beneath you, because I assure you it isn’t.

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 7, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another live show and we’re leading up to Slammiversary X this Sunday. The main event is Sting vs. Roode which doesn’t really blow the roof off the place but it’ll do I guess. Tonight we’re supposed to hear from Dixie about the AJ issue, which has been one of the big issues over the past few weeks. Other than that I can’t think of anything else for this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from after the show last week of Dixie freaking out and screaming a lot. She goes into the production truck and wants to know where the footage came from but can’t get an answer.

Dixie is in the ring and is on the verge of tears. She feels sorry for Kaz and Daniels and gets booed out of the building. The two of them are filled with doubts and anger and various other bad things. Dixie says she’s going to tell the truth tonight, but here are Kaz and Daniels. Daniels says he knows what’s going on and Dixie had to have what she wanted. He wants to know who called who first and where the first meeting was. She tries to hit Daniels so he shoves her down, until AJ comes out and chases both guys off.

Serg, Dixie’s husband, gets in the ring and helps her up then lays out AJ with a punch. Serg leaves and AJ whispers something to Dixie and they both leave.

Crimson vs. Austin Aries

Joe continues his complaining to Aries in the back before the match. Aries attacks the legs to start, hitting the low dropkick in the corner. A slingshot corkscrew plancha hits Crimson but a Lionsault misses. Red Sky is countered into a rana to send Crimson into the corner. Brainbuster is escaped and we head to the floor where Aries hits the suicide dive. Joe makes the not shocking interference and drives Aries’ head into the apron, giving Crimson the pin at 3:28.

Rating: D+. The match was ok but the ending might as well have been written in the middle of the ring. They hit a wall with Crimson months ago as there’s no point to him winning much anymore but they’re starting to play up the streak even more. Not much here but it set up Aries vs. Joe at Slammiversary.

Crimson brags about being undefeated longer than Goldberg was and says he’ll keep that going at Slammiversary with an open challenge.

Hogan says nothing of note about Brooke.

Brooke introduces herself to the Knockouts and there’s a fourway for the title match on Sunday. Also Velvet is going to be in a music video with Montgomery Gentry.

Here’s Hulk in the arena for a chat. He talks about how this Sunday is the anniversary and it’s a big party. We’re going to keep the party going through next week’s show in the form of a world title match. Roode comes out and complains. Hogan keeps trying to talk but Roode keeps saying he’s not done yet. Roode calls Hogan jealous and grabs him by the shirt, saying get out of his ring. Cue Sting who gets beaten down, but as Roode looks at Hogan he turns around to face Sting.

Joseph Park isn’t sure how things got where they are now.

Mickie James vs. Tara vs. Velvet Sky vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Mickie and Velvet clear the ring to start and Mickie gets a rollup for two. Gail comes out to watch and we take a break about a minute in. Gail sits in on commentary as we’re back. Brooke grabs a rollup for two on Mickie and takes her down for two. Velvet makes the save as Gail brags about her accomplishments. Tara comes in to roll up Sky for two.

Boston Crab goes on Brooke by Tara, but Mickie grabs a dragon sleeper on Tara but Brooke grabs a headlock on Mickie for a quadruple submission. Think about that and you’ll get why it’s stupid. The ring gets cleared again but Tara misses a moonsault on Mickie. Tessmacher wants Tara to hit her but the older one is reluctant. Tara takes over but as she shakes her hits Velvet takes her down. Mickie hits the top rope Thesz Press and kicks Velvet’s head off. She takes too long yelling though and Tessmacher hits her flip mat slam for the pin at 10:36.

Rating: C. These girls are WAY better than the Divas. The match ran long and I’m not liking Tessmacher’s finisher at all, but it’s better than the ton of kicks we used to have. She could be something special given her looks, but getting the title off of Gail is what matters. She’s had the thing FOREVER now and the division is starting to suffer as a result.

Bully Ray is ready for the contract signing later.

We see the opening segment again.

Hulk yells at AJ on the phone.

Time for the contract signing. Ray says his usual stuff and here’s Park. Ray rips up the contract and says that was for a standard wrestling match. He pulls out a new one that has a whole harmless clause in it, meaning no matter what he does to Park, there’s no legal recourse. Ray signs but Park starts sweating. Park won’t sign because he’s not crazy, so Ray spits on him.

That makes him snap and he talks about how Abyss has given his life for the last ten years to make this happen, so he’ll sign. Abyss pops up on screen and yells at Chris to step away from the fire before he gets burned. Chris says he was doing it to help but Abyss says he doesn’t need help. As for Ray, he left Abyss for dead, but Abyss isn’t dead. They’re both going to find out how alive he is at Slammiversary. Ray jumps Chris as he’s looking at the monitor.

Garrett wants to have D-Von’s back in the TV Title match tonight.

Joey Ryan rants about Gut Check from last week. Al Snow comes up and tells him to drop it.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

This is the FIFTH TV Title between these two. Garrett is seconding D-Von here. Madison comes out to watch this, so her guy is one of the four. Robbie jumps him to start and takes over with basic offense. D-Von spears him down and hits a clothesline and elbow to the face. A flying shoulder takes Robbie down. Rock Bottom is followed by a headbutt, but Robbie T interferes. The seconds get into it but the distraction allows Robbie T to switch a small package. He gets caught and Garrett switches it so D-Von retains at 2:50.

Post match the Rob’s get beaten to the floor.

Here’s Hulk to talk about Bobby Roode but Anderson interrupts him. After taking forever, he asks if he’s getting the title match next week. Hogan says to chill and Anderson says he wants the title match. Hogan says he wants to finish the announcement, but he calls out RVD. I think Hogan is losing his voice. Now he asks Jeff Hardy to come to the ring. Anderson says he deserves the title match and Hogan goes on a rant about how these three have been trying to get title shots. The required three way match is made for Sunday.

We run down the Slammiversary card, which only has five announced matches plus an open challenge.

Kazarian/Christopher Daniels/Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle/AJ Styles/Sting

And there’s no AJ. He and Dixie left earlier and he’s not back yet. The tag champs jump Sting and Angle to start but are immediately put in submission holds, drawing in Roode who doesn’t seem that interested in helping. Kaz and Daniels make the ropes and it’s time for a huddle on the floor. We take a break and come back with Daniels taking Sting down and posing.

Off to a chinlock and Sting is in trouble. Slingshot elbow from Daniels and a slingshot legdrop from Kaz combine for two. A spinwheel kick from Kaz gets the same and Sting can barely stand. Off to Roode who drops a knee and chokes with the boot. Roode misses a charge but Sting misses a splash and both guys are down.

Daniels comes in illegally to break up what would have been a hot tag and it’s a triple beatdown. There’s the Crossface and here’s AJ for the save. He cleans house and Angle is back in as well. Kurt suplexes Kaz to the floor and AJ beats on Daniels. Pele takes Daniels to the floor and AJ hits a BIG dive to take everyone out. Roode tries a belt shot but gets caught in the Scorpion for the tap at 10:13.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what AJ being gone added here but the match was ok. It was your standard main event tag match where a few feuds were combined, which is something that is always a good idea. Two feuds get advanced at the same time, which is all you need at times. Good stuff here but nothing great.

Sting holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off REALLY slow and it picked up a bit halfway through. Having just four matches is annoying but it’s something you’ve come to expect from TNA anymore. The PPV only has five at the moment but I’m sure a few more, like Aries vs. Joe, will be added and that’s ok for the most part. This wasn’t a bad show, but it wasn’t great either. The good outweighed the bad though, so I’ll give it a break.

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