NWA Polynesian Championship Wrestling
Date: August 9, 1986
Location: Aloha Stadium, Honolulu, Hawaii
Commentators: Ripper Collins, Dunbar Wakayama

How in the world could I not do a show like this? We’re back in the territory days and way out in Hawaii, where you don’t get a lot of wrestling. I have no idea what to expect here and that’s one of the fun things about watching a show like this. From what I can tell this is part of a big show, as Aloha Stadium holds 50,000 people. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence with the announcers welcoming us to the show in narration.

National Anthem, so you know it’s a major show.

A sign says this is A Hot Summer Night II. Good enough.

House show ad.

Robert Toronto vs. Joe Solo

Someone named Mighty Hilo was announced to face Solo here so Toronto is a replacement. Not a good sign less than three minutes after the previous match was announced. Having maybe 50 fans on camera isn’t a good sign either. Feeling out process to start with a few clean breaks, which commentary insists that the fans enjoy.

They botch….I think a backdrop with Solo taking a headbutt to the ribs instead of being backdropped. It’s off to a headlock to slow things down instead and avoid any more mistakes. Back up and Solo tries his own backdrop but falls down onto Toronto as they’re not exactly working smoothly. Toronto goes with a suplex instead and gets the pin at 2:36. That’s one of the worst short matches I can remember in a long time.

Kini Popo #1/Kini Popo #2 vs. Keith Hart/Smith Hart

The Harts are billed from Los Angeles because….I have no idea really. The commentators then say they’re from a Canadian family just to make sure the confusion reigns. The Popos jump them from behind to start and get sent into each other so the Canadian Californians can clear the ring. Back in and the announcers talk about the Popos being billed from all around the world without seeing the irony.

#2 starts with Keith as the announcers ignore the match to talk about a wrestling journalist coming to Hawaii for a celebration. The Popos take Keith into the corner for their first advantage. Keith gets in a shoulder and armdrag as the camera is WAY too zoomed in, to the point where they lose the action when anyone runs. Thankfully they zoom out as #1 takes over with some knees in the corner.

We get an inset interview from a woman named Spicy, who has been training for a match against a woman named Killer Tomato. With that out of the way, we come back to Smith cranking on #1’s arm before it’s back to #2. A chinlock on Smith takes us to a break and stops the announcers from talking about wrestling in Atlanta even more. Back with everyone brawling on the floor and the Popos getting the better of it as the announcers call Smith Owen.

We settle down to Keith dropping a knee on #2 as the announcers say that’s Owen again. Is it really that hard to say the right name? Keith gets caught in the corner but comes back with a knee to #2’s ribs. It’s starting to rain as Smith comes in and gets caught in a leglock. Everything breaks down again and the referee throws it out at 12:13.

Rating: D+. This was a hard one to get into and I can’t say I’m all that surprised. Some of the Hart Brothers are a bit of an acquired taste and that was certainly the case with Keith. It didn’t help that they had a run of the mill set of opponents and there was nothing that made me care about the match in the slightest. Much like the entire show so far.

Post match, the brawling continues with the Harts clearing the ring.

Killer Tomato, the California Women’s Champion, has faced Spicy before and she’ll be ready tonight.

Super Sakalia vs. Richie Magnet

Magnet is said to be the 1984 Rookie of the Year and he’s not happy because his original opponent has been replaced. Magnet shoulders him down and grabs a headlock takeover but Sakalia fights up without much effort. A clothesline sets up Sakalia’s own chinlock for a few moments as this isn’t exactly thrilling.

Magnet fights up and starts kicking at the leg because it’s the 80s so he uses a Figure Four. Some forearms put Magnet down again and it’s back to the chinlock. That’s broken up as well and Magnet kicks at the leg again, this time taking Sakalia down for the Figure Four. Cue another Samoan named Superfly Tui to attack Richie for the DQ at 7:00.

Rating: D-. Can we please just end this show already? I know it’s the mid 80s but this would be considered boring by any generation. This was one chinlock after another until the ending and I need a lot more than that. It would be nice if it felt like someone was either trying or had the slightest bit of energy in one of these matches but I haven’t seen it yet.

Post match the beatdown is on until someone whose name sounded like Jeff Magruder makes the save.

A guy whose name sounds like Al Harrington (seems to be a comedian) tells people from the east coast to come to Hawaii in what seems like filler between matches.

Uncle Elmer vs. Hans Schroder

Yes it’s the same Uncle Elmer from Wrestlemania II. Elmer comes in and dances a bit before talking about how many pigs he owns. Oh and he’s from Mississippi not Arkansas. They get in an argument over which state he’s from as I’m pretty sure the bell has already rung. We finally get going with Elmer grabbing a headlock and then letting it go for a standoff.

Schroder’s top wristlock doesn’t work at all and Elmer shoves him down again. Hang on though as we go to an inset interview with Magnet and Magruder swearing revenge. As Magruder talks about how much he can lift, Elmer wins a test of strength….and we take a break. IN AN UNCLE ELMER MATCH??? Back with Schroder on the floor and getting counted out at 3:47. The stuff after the break was less than ten seconds.

Rating: F. Oh come on with this nonsense already man. They really went to a break so they could come back for seven more seconds? In a comedy match? This show is one of the worst things I’ve seen in a long time and this somehow might have been the worst part of the whole thing.

Post match Schroder yells about how unfair that was because Elmer sent him over the top. Not that we saw it or anything.

Superfly Tui wants Magruder and doesn’t care how much he can lift. They’ll beat up a cockroach or an elephant if they have to.

The Lieutenant Governor is here.

And now, A CLIPPED VERSION OF ELMER VS. SCHRODER! The announcers want to see Elmer vs. Andre the Giant because it would be good and clean wrestling. Then they just stop showing the clips and talk about how awesome Elmer is.

The announcers sign off.

House show ad.

The announcers sign off again.

Overall Rating: F. This was one of weakest shows I’ve seen in a long time and somehow it was part of their big show. The wrestling was bad, the stories (Can I even make that plural?) were as low rent as you could get and there was no one in the big stadium. I’m not sure what to think of a show like this but I really hope this was just an off night for them because it was a completely terrible show.

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Stampede Wrestling
Date: December 8, 1979
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentator: Ed Whalen

Stampede Wrestling. This is the epitome of the stomping grounds for a ton of guys. What we have here is Stampede TV from the very late 70s. I have never seen a Stampede show before and I know very little about this company aside from how huge it was in Canada and how a lot, and I mean a LOT, of guys came out of there. Let’s see if it’s as good as it was made out to be. Let’s get to it.

Keith Hart vs. Joe Ventura

I have no idea what the other guy’s name is. This is joined in progress with Whalen, the commentator, talking about French adult films and giving us a wrestling Christmas poem. This is going to be out there isn’t it? This is just past the six minute mark apparently as we get to it. Whalen thinks the referee is lovely. Now we’re talking about how much everyone weighs.

Keith is Bret’s tag partner and they’re tag champions apparently. The titles must be defended in the next two weeks or they’ll be stripped. That lets the announcer talk about us having a possible strip show. I like this guy more or less just being dirty and not trying to hide it. You can hear the hecklers in the crowd pretty clearly. The guy’s name is Joe Ventura apparently.

Apparently Butte, Montana is getting a show soon. Apparently both guys follow the rules. This is a hard style to get into as neither is incredibly interesting. Keith gets the win with an O’Connor Roll to about no reaction. We saw about five minutes out of eleven and a half.

Rating: D+. Based just on what we saw of course. This was a pretty boring match but very old school in its style. Actually considering this is over thirty years old maybe it’s just the time period it’s in. Not a terrible match but Hart was nothing special at all and Ventura was even less interesting. I wasn’t all that impressed.

Post match and post break a fan has a petition to get rid of a crooked referee and has over 60 signatures. Ok then.

Keith says that a month is up in two weeks and Bret is in the middle of a big tour so he might not be able to get back up here for the title match. Keith might hook up with his brother Bruce if he has to compete for forfeited titles. From what I can see the titles did wind up getting forfeited.

The North American Heavyweight Champion (top title in the company) Don Gagne (Frenchy Martin from the late 80s) has a title defense tonight against Sekigawa tonight. Gagne can’t talk incredibly well but he could have been a lot worse.

Bruce Hart vs. Andre Swista

I think that’s how you spell it. It’s Ukrainian so I have no idea how to spell it. This was again joined in progress. Apparently we missed a few minutes of it which is always annoying. The crooked referee is in this match. Andre destroys him for the most part and Bruce hits the floor. Back in and a punch to the ribs gives Bruce control again. Scratch the again aspect as he never was in control in the first place. A knee drop and a clothesline ends this. Nothing match here so no rating.

Post match Bruce talks about how John Foley, the top heel manager, won’t let Bruce have a title shot against the Dynamite Kid for the Middleweight Title. Foley is British apparently and Andre wouldn’t do anything compared to what Dynamite would do. Dynamite says he’s overweight for the title defense so he’s fighting a Japanese guy tonight. Dynamite: “Just because you’re Japanese doesn’t mean you’re good.” PREACH IT BROTHER MAN!

Yong Ki vs. Larry Jones

I wonder if he’s related to Low Ki. This is again joined in progress and Ki is apparently one of Foley’s boys and Jones appears to be a bad cowboy character. Yong has a chinlock on and this isn’t a scheduled match it seems. Ki is Vietnamese which I don’t think I’ve ever heard of. It’s his debut it seems. We take a break….and come back to a different match? What the heck? We saw like a minute of it and now it’s off to a different match. This company is weird man.

LeoBurke/Hubert Gallant vs. Tasumi Oshira/Tommy Stanton

Apparently Ki won the match. Burke is the only guy I’ve ever heard of and is more or less a legend in Stampede. Burke and Gallant seem to have teamed together for awhile as they have solid chemistry. Solid is a stretch probably but I’m too lazy to go back and think of something better. Stanton is in the singlet it seems. We’re fifteen minutes into this apparently. Sweet goodness is it impossible to have a full match shown?

Burke and Gallant are former champions it seems. Oshira hammers away on Gallant as the evildoers are in control. Stanton offers a knee for Oshira to ram Gallant into and gets his own knee hurt as a result. Nice job dude. Bearhug by Stanton which looks like he’s trying to rock Gallant to sleep.

The heels do the knee thing in the corner again and this time it doesn’t result in an injury. A punch finally allows Burke to come in. Really? That’s all it took? A single punch? Burke comes in and beats the tar out of the Japanese guy. A knee drop looks incredibly painful as it collides with the head.

All Burke here as he’s completely dominating. He has an awesome beard too. The referee more or less tells Oshira to come in so Burke beats on him for awhile. Sleeper, Burke’s finisher, goes on but Stanton breaks it up. Gallant botches the heck out of an attempted abdominal stretch and it all breaks down, prompting the announcer to almost sing. Stanton throws Gallant into Oshira to end this with Gallant getting the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but seriously this got over 20 minutes in total? This card must have been like three hours long and crammed down into a 45 minute TV broadcast. It’s definitely the best match of the night so far and Burke was fun to see, but this was nothing special at all. Kind of hard hitting though so it has that going for it.

Burke and Gallant say they’d love to get a title shot but at Keith and Bret, not in a tournament.

Dynamite Kid vs. Hiroshi Yagi

Hiroshi is overweight for the Middleweight Title so this is non-title. We’re, say it with me, joined in progress after 15 minutes it seems. Yagi gets two on a small package. The fans boo the count. Dynamite looks awesome. Camel clutch goes on Yagi, giving us one of the funniest faces I’ve ever seen from Dynamite. He looks like he’s not sure if he should be happy or not about this and it’s rather comical.

The hands aren’t locked around the face on the hold so it’s not entirely effective. The camera angles need to go up a bit more as they seem to be tilted down. Yagi takes over and hits a flying headbutt to take Dynamite down. He may want to call that the Flying Strike of Irony. Dynamite gets a butterfly suplex for one.

Yagi goes all Japanese on Dynamite with kicks and martial arts. I guess those stereotypes extend up into Canada too. Indian Deathlock goes on and I don’t feel like making the nationality joke. We hit twenty minutes with both guys on the mat. Dynamite takes over and you would think we were watching in fast forward. Dynamite gets up on the second rope and gets kicked to the floor in a nice bump. Yagi gets a dive to the floor and it’s a double countout.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a boring match until the very ending there. Dynamite turned it on in the end there and it got rather entertaining. Yagi isn’t bad but he was a bit too slow for my tastes. Granted it might be better if we saw him fresh instead of fifteen minutes in, but who knows.

Yagi says he’ll lose five pounds and challenge for the title.

John Foley says that should have been a DQ and a no contest. Dynamite says Yagi is ten pounds overweight so there’s no title shot.

North American Heavyweight Title: Mr. Sekigawa vs. Don Gagne

No DQ here and naturally it’s joined in progress. We’re only five minutes in here though. Gagne is champions. This is more of a brawl than a match. Sekigawa is dominating here with basic power stuff. Middle rope splash gets no count on a cover. Gagne takes a bandage off the wrist of Sekigawa and starts hammering away. I think he’s face here but I really have no idea.

Big knee and legdrop get two. Neckbreaker is one of the first wrestling moves I’ve seen all night long. The audio is getting really annoying with how much you can hear from the audience. Sekigawa fights back with shots to the neck and face. We take a break to more brawling. Back with….Stu Hart. The match was thrown out despite being No DQ during the break. Well of course it was. No rating due to the lack of a start and the lack of a finish.

Hart says he wants to have a rematch with full rules and Leo Burke, who is also in the ring, to be the referee. Burke says he’ll do it and the title is held up otherwise.

Whalen closes us out and seems like he needs the FBI watching him.

Overall Rating: D. WOW. This was one of the weirdest shows I’ve ever seen. We didn’t get a complete match for the entire show and what we saw was rather bad. Dynamite is by far the highlight of the show since Bret wasn’t there. This is a completely different style of wrestling and I’m not sure it’s incredibly entertaining. It would become a breeding ground for awesome later on though so maybe this was just a bad week. Not a good show but I’m kind of intrigued so that’s good I guess.

 

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