Monday Night Raw – April 21, 2008 (2023 Redo, King Of The Ring 2008): Dang That’s A Lot

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 21, 2008
Location: BiLo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a special three hour show as the King Of The Ring is back. The tournament was announced last week and now we get the whole thing wrapped up in one night. Other than that, it is the go home show for Backlash and that means it is time for the final push towards the four way match for the Raw World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

King Of The Ring First Round: Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Non-title. MVP slugs away to start but Jericho drapes him ribs first onto the top. Jericho takes it to the floor but MVP hits something like a hanging Nightmare On Helm Street back inside. Something close to a seated abdominal stretch has Jericho in trouble but he’s right back up and hits a running shoulder. A big boot gives MVP two, only to get taken down with a clothesline as the back and forth continues. The Playmaker is broken up though and Jericho gets the Walls for the clean tap.

Rating: C. It was intense while it lasted but they had no other way out besides having the US Champion tap out? Losing to Jericho isn’t some huge upset but MVP already has a title match on Sunday so why have him lose here? I’ve never gotten the thinking behind this, though it doesn’t do the loser’s title any favors.

King Of The Ring First Round: CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

They trade forearms to start and Punk blocks the Side Effect with some elbows to the head. Punk knocks him down into a chinlock before putting him on top. What looked to be a superplex is broken up and a middle rope elbow to the back of the head rocks Punk for a change. Back up and Punk’s running knee and bulldog get two so Punk loads up the GTS. Hardy reverses into a sunset flip attempt but Punk sits down on it for the pin to advance.

Rating: C+. This was another fast and to the point match, though they kept things going so qquickly that it was entertaining. At the same time, the US Title match at Backlash has taken quite the hit in the first twenty five minutes of the show. This one isn’t as bad as the champ losing, but the title match doesn’t have quite the shine anymore.

Here’s what Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton looks like in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008.

We look back at JBL/HHH/Randy Orton attacking each other last week.

The Raw World Title match is now a four way elimination match.

JBL says tonight is about crowning the King Of The Ring but he will be crowned champion on Sunday. There is even an article about him on the front page of the New York Times!

King Of The Ring First Round: Finlay vs. Great Khali

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay. Some shots to the knee manage to put Finlay down to start but Khali chokes him from the mat. A big boot drops Finlay so Hornswoggle tries to bring in the shillelagh. With that broken up, Khali wraps Finlay’s leg around the post and that’s a fast DQ.

Post match here is Big Show for the showdown with Khali. That’s enough to send Khali bailing to wait for Sunday. With Finlay being helped to the back, here is William Regal for the final first round match.

King Of The Ring First Round: Hornswoggle vs. William Regal

Regal Stretch finishes Hornswoggle in about 20 seconds.

Video on the European tour.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn didn’t think he would be out here dealing with one of Ric Flair’s best friends in Batista. He needs to ask Batista something here though, so come on down. Cue Batista, with Shawn bringing up what Chris Jericho said on Smackdown: did Batista want to be the one to retire Flair? Batista asks if it would be easier if the answer was yes. Either way, Batista is ending this at Backlash, but Shawn promises to show Batista why he is the Heartbreak Kid. Shawn is willing to do anything to win, so be ready. Violence is teased but they leave.

In light of the Pennsylvania Presidential Primary, Hilary Clinton joins us and says the election is starting to sound like King of the Ring. This time though, the Last Woman Standing may be a woman. Whoever wins will have a lot of challenges to overcome but she will stay in the political arena and won’t come after Randy Orton. She might drop the People’s Elbow though. This was as eye roll inducing as you could have imagined but points for actually showing up.

Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito

Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella are here too. Holly starts fast and hammers him into the corner. An atomic drop hits Carlito but he knees Holly in the ribs and takes over. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back before an elbow to the face cuts off Holly’s comeback. The Alabama Slam is countered into the Backstabber to give Carlito the pin.

Rating: C-. This was as interesting as a Carlito vs. Hardcore Holly match to set up Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Holly/Cody Rhodes Tag Team Title match was going to be. This feud is pretty horrible, but it isn’t like the titles have felt important in a good while. Just find some better teams. It really shouldn’t be that hard.

Post match Santino promises to win the Tag Team Titles but Cody clears the ring.

HHH promises to win the title at Backlash.

King Of The Ring Semifinals: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. Jericho grabs a headlock takeover and gets absolutely nowhere. Back up and Punk starts kicking away at the leg but gets dropped ribs first across the top rope. Jericho stays on the ribs until a hammerlock lariat gives Punk two. They go to a pinfall reversal sequence and Punk’s snap powerslam gets two more. The Walls have Punk right back down, sending him over to the rope for the break. Jericho goes up but gets kicked in the head, setting up the GTS for the clean pin.

Rating: C+. It was fun while it lasted but they got out of there really fast. Maybe their time was cut short, but the Intercontinental Champion losing in about six and a half minutes completely clean is a strange thing to see. That being said, Punk is getting a push here and points for trying to make someone new.

Senator Barack Obama says it’s a chance to change business as usual and get rid of people trying to become King (of the ring). Do you smell what Barack is cooking? He certainly has charisma.

King Of The Ring Semifinals: William Regal vs. Finlay

This should be fun and Finlay is very banged up coming in. Finlay sends him outside but his band knee is sent into the steps. Back in and Regal goes after the knee like a true villain (or smart wrestler) should. Finlay forearms away and a backslide (which falls apart on the way down) gets two. Regal’s running knee knocks Finlay silly though and the Regal Stretch knocks Finlay out to send Regal to the finals.

Rating: C. Another short match here, which continues the issue of a one night tournament needing to be rushed, even if there is an extra hour. Regal and Finlay could have a heck of a fight if given the chance, but three and a half minutes with Finlay being banged up coming in isn’t going to allow that. Instead we got Regal being a villain who exploited an injury, which might just be a bit better.

Senator John McCain uses a bunch of wrestling catchphrases and promises to introduce Osama Bin Laden to the Undertaker and tells us to vote. All three of these were pretty bad, but they did take the time to appear.

Backlash rundown.

John Cena is tired of talking and wants to fight. He talks about how he knows he has a chance on Sunday and the other three have to go through him.

WWE has helped with a literacy program. Nothing wrong with that.

Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton

Let’s get this over with as I’m sure Vince McMahon finds this hilarious. Clinton comes out to Real American and has a Bill Clinton impersonator. Before the match, Hilary cuts a promo for the Hilamaniacs and there is an eerie silence as she stops to bicker with Bill. Fans: “MONICA! MONICA!”

Obama, with big fake ears, comes out to Rock’s theme. His Rock impression isn’t well received but Bill cuts him off. Hilary jumps him to start and gets two off a slam into a legdrop. The Rock Bottom connects (Bill: “Honey are you go???) but Bill breaks up the People’s Elbow (Bill: “I did not have inappropriate conduct.”). Umaga finally comes in and the match is thrown out.

Umaga wrecks both of them, ending one of the dumbest segments that probably had a certain someone howling backstage.

Here are a bunch of the more popular Divas for a chat. Last week, Mickie James won the Women’s Title from Beth Phoenix, which they never thought possible. Mickie is brought out for a chat, plus a lot of hugging. Cue the evil Divas, with Beth Phoenix promising to get the title back. McCool slaps Beth and the big brawl is on.

Mr. Kennedy is back next week. He was gone?

King Of The Ring: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Regal takes him into the corner to start and hammers away but Punk sends him into the buckle. A belly to back suplex drops Punk for two and Regal cranks on both arms. Punk finally slips out and kicks him in the head. It’s too early for the GTS though as Regal grabs the rope and knees him in the head. The Regal Stretch makes Punk tap and Regal is King.

B: C. So that’s the tournament, with the longest match not even breaking seven minutes. This was another match that just came and went because there wasn’t time to do much. Punk’s ribs were tied throughout the matches he wasn’t even in the ring for fifteen minutes throughout the night. I like Regal winning though, as he is great when given a chance to showcase everything he can do. Just do better with the tournament next time, or stretch it out to a second week.

Post match Regal sits on the throne and we’re off to a break rather quickly.

Here is Randy Orton for the main event, but first he says he is tired of everyone talking about taking his title. He has nothing to say except for listing off the shows where he retained.

Randy Orton/John Bradshaw Layfield/Chavo Guerrero/Edge vs. HHH/Kane/Undertaker/John Cena

That’s a pretty outstanding group of good guys. Edge tries to jump Undertaker to start and gets caught with a quick Old School. We take a break and come back with Edge charging into HHH’s spinebuster, allowing the diving tag to Cena. The Shuffle is broken up thanks to a Chavo low bridge though and it’s Orton coming in to kick him in the ribs.

JBL gets two off a neckbreaker as the villains start taking turns on Cena. Orton grabs the chinlock with a bodyscissors until Cena powers up for a ram into the corner. The tag brings in Kane and everything breaks down. Kane chokeslams Chavo but Edge comes in off a blind tag and hits a spear for the pin.

Rating: C+. This felt like a house show match where you get your big names in the ring to end the show. It worked for what it was, in that it previewed multiple pay per view title matches at once, though there was no reason to believe it was going to be anything great. Kane taking the fall when Chavo is there is a bit weird, but maybe they feel they have beaten him into the ground enough.

Post match we hit the parade of finishers, with Undertaker chokeslamming Orton and JBL to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a strange show in that they tried to pack in a lot and it was too overcrowded. Between the tournament, the political stuff and the build towards the pay per view, this felt like it needed to be about four hours, or two regular weeks, to make it work. What we got did work and they covered a lot, but it felt like it could have been that much better rather than just doing ok with everything. Cut some of this stuff out and let the show breathe a bit more and it’s that much better. Or just get rid of the Obama vs. Hilary match because that was an audience of one deal if I’ve ever seen one.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – April 15, 2008: The Spectacle Show

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 15, 2008
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 17,422
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re over in England this week as the European tour is on. In this case, we have a special main event as the Brothers of Destruction are here. That alone should be enough to carry the show, as there is little to care about other than one or two stars. Maybe they have something else to help it out, because the show needs it. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a preview of the show, which in this case means Undertaker/Kane vs. Miz/John Morrison. Well that ups the star power.

Opening sequence.

Tazz tells us that this is Joey Styles’ last night on the show as he is going on to head up WWE.com. We meet the new play by play announcer: Mike Adamle. Oh boy.

CM Punk/Kofi Kingston/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Elijah Burke/Deuce N Domino/Shelton Benjamin

Well it’s different. Domino and Punk start things off with Punk taking over. Moore comes in with a sunset flip and starts on the arm, as the good guys get to take their turns. Yang hits a dropkick and lands on Domino for two before it’s back to Punk. Benjamin comes in and gets kicked in the face as everything breaks down on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Burke missing an elbow to Punk, allowing Kofi to come in for an armbar. The rapid fire tags continue as it’s off to Moore to stay on the arm. Burke comes in and uppercuts Yang to take over, setting up the running crotch attack to the back of the head. Benjamin and Deuce put on a chinlock each before Domino drops a leg. A backdrop gets Yang out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Kingston to clean house. Everything breaks down and Trouble In Paradise finishes Deuce (who had tagged in) for the win.

Rating: C+. This match got some time and picked up steam as it kept going. What mattered here was keeping Kingston strong as ECW is certainly protecting him. With Punk pretty clearly not long for the minor show, fresh talent is going to be needed. Kingston is getting better in his spot so maybe he could do some good in the future.

We look back at Chavo Guerrero and his lackeys beating up Kane, including his new bald enforcer.

Kane promises revenge on Chavo, but tonight it’s about the Brothers of Destruction.

And now, a Diva Dance Off, featuring Layla, Maryse, Eve, Lena Yada and Kelly Kelly. Tazz, the emcee, demonstrates a bit of dancing (or kind of jiggling in his case) before everyone gets to go. Shockingly Layla and Eve, the former professional dancers, blow everyone else away but Kelly, the only one to remove clothing, wins. Post contest, Kelly and Tazz dance together in a funny moment.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox

Colin Delaney is here with Dreamer. Hold on though as here is Armando Estrada to change things up.

Colin Delaney vs. Mike Knox

Dreamer is sent to the back. Total destruction with Knox hitting a swinging Downward Spiral for the pin in about a minute.

Miz and John Morrison say they’re a real team while Undertaker and Kane are always fighting each other. Morrison is even willing to let Miz start the match!

Miz/John Morrison vs. Kane/Undertaker

Non-title. Kane shoulders Miz down to start and sends him shoulder first into the corner. Undertaker comes in to punch the shoulder, setting up Old School. Morrison breaks up the apron clothesline with a legdrop though and we take a break. Back with Morrison striking away at Undertaker in the corner, only to have Undertaker show him how it’s done.

Morrison gets struck in the face a few times, allowing Kane to come in with a side slam to Miz. A Morrison distraction lets Miz get in a chop block though and Morrison comes in to crank on the knee. Miz hammers away until an uppercut and big boot give Kane a breather. That’s enough for Undertaker to come in and really take over, including Snake Eyes into the big boot. Double chokeslams set up the Tombstone to finish Morrison.

Rating: C. This is a good example of “it was what it was” as Kane and Undertaker ended up decimating the champs in the end. Miz and Morrison got in a bit of offense on Kane but there is no way to buy this working when things evened up. It’s also no shame to lose to a pair of monsters with success of their own like Undertaker and Kane, so Miz and Morrison could have come out looking worse.

The Brothers posing with their titles is a great visual to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Pretty skippable show, but then again it felt like it was more for the live fans than anything else. ECW really needs to develop some new names and right now it seems to be Kane and Kofi Kingston leading the charge. Kane is fine, but Kofi has a long way to go but the potential is there. This week was more or less a spectacle though and it was an easy enough way to burn through about forty five minutes.

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – April 8, 2008: The Saving Grace

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 8, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We are still starting the new reality around here, with Kane as the ECW Champion and CM Punk as the star who is way too big for this show. Other than that, we have the continuing adventures of Colin Delaney, who is still trying to get a contract. That hasn’t been going well for him and odds are it doesn’t get better this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Miz vs. CM Punk

John Morrison is on commentary. Punk grabs a headlock to start and runs him over with a shoulder to start. Back up and Miz hits his own shoulder, only to have his leg tied up for some hard cranking. Punk gets sent outside though and Miz drives him back first into the apron. Morrison gets caught interfering and gets ejected as Miz grabs a chinlock.

We take a break and come back with Miz snapping Punk’s throat across the middle rope for two. Punk gets out of the double arm crank without much trouble but Miz pulls him into a reverse chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown, followed by Punk making the comeback. The powerslam gives Punk two and it’s the running knee in the corner into the GTS for the pin on Miz.

Rating: C. Punk continues to feel like the biggest star in ECW but Miz has improved by leaps and bounds. He still isn’t exactly polished but he can wrestle a completely watchable match. You can see the effort that he has put in and it is starting to pay off. Just find some actual challenges to go after he and Morrison and you might be on to something.

Colin Delaney and Tommy Dreamer come up to Armando Estrada to ask about Delaney getting a contract. Estrada says sure….if Delaney can beat Dreamer tonight. Oh and if Dreamer goes easy on him in any way or loses, he’s fired. Neither seems pleased.

Here is Armando Estrada in the ring for the Kane/Chavo Guerrero contract signing at Backlash. Guerrero, with the Edgeheads, comes out first, with Kane following. Kane goes to sign first, but Chavo says that means signing away the title. That makes Kane laugh as he signs, but Chavo says he’ll have someone watching his back at Backlash. Cue a bald man in a suit to start the brawl, including a belt shot to Kane. The beatdown is on and Chavo frog splashes Kane through the table. Now Chavo signs.

Elijah Burke vs. Nunzio

Burke works on the arm to start and sends him face first into the apron to keep Nunzio rocked. A hard shot to the face sets up the running crotch attack to the back of Nunzio’s head. There’s a middle rope forearm into a release German suplex before an STO finishes Nunzio off. Total squash.

Kofi Kingston vs. Domino

No Deuce or Cherry here. Before the match, Kofi talks about having a good time in the ring and bringing the good vibrations. Domino even wrestles without his shirt to really make things different. Kofi slides between the legs and takes him down, setting up the armdrag into the armbar. It works so well that Kofi does it again before sending him into the corner. Domino manages a faceplant out of the corner (kind of a reverse powerbomb) for two, followed by a knee to Kofi’s face. The chinlock goes on but Kofi fights out and hits his jumping back elbow. Domino ducks a crossbody but charges into Trouble in Paradise for the pin.

Rating: C. Kofi is still building himself up but this was a win over a slightly bigger name. You need to do something like this over the months as Kingston needs to move up the ladder. He still needs a lot more than beating Domino, but you can tell that WWE is paying attention to him and sees something there.

Eve Torres is in the back with Kelly Kelly when Layla comes in. Layla says there is room for one Diva Search winner around here. She is the top Diva around here and Eve needs to learn that. This stuff continues to be bad.

Colin Delaney vs. Tommy Dreamer

Basically only the winner has a job and Armando Estrada is at ringside. Dreamer wrestles him to the mat to start and grabs a slam. The elbow misses though as they are firmly in first gear here. Delaney gets in a shot or two before low bridging Dreamer to the floor. There’s the slingshot dive and a slingshot hilo gets two on Dreamer back inside. Dreamer grabs some kind of a reverse suplex and avoids a missile dropkick to send Delaney crashing down. The Tree of Woe dropkick sets up the DDT to finish Delaney.

Rating: C-. There was a story here with Delaney wanting a contract and Dreamer having to beat him up despite not wanting to. The problem though is the Delaney matches are only so good as he can’t do much in the ring and is mainly getting squashed. Delaney got in a little more than usual here, but it is still only going so well. They need to go somewhere with this, as I don’t know how much fuel this version has left.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of a lackluster show here, as there is only so much that you can get out of this roster. Kane is a star and Kofi feels like he is on the way up, but then you have whatever is left of Elijah Burke, Chavo Guerrero and a somewhat out the door CM Punk. That isn’t going to make for the best show, with the hour long run time being this show’s saving grace.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – March 25, 2008: End This Already

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 25, 2008
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the final ECW before Wrestlemania and that means pretty much nothing around here. There is no title match set for Wrestlemania as it is going to be all about the battle royal. I’m not sure what that is going to leave us to do on this show but maybe they have one more week of nothing before things, at least hopefully, reset next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes/Kofi Kingston/Kane/Tommy Dreamer/Jesse & Festus/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jim Duggan/Val Venis/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Miz/Chuck Palumbo/Matt Striker/Mark Henry/Snitsky/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Brian Kendrick/Deuce N Domino/Elijah Burke

Because THIS is a good idea. This is all twenty four entrants into the battle royal thrown into a tag match, which makes me wonder how many people the aprons can hold. Cody rolls Kendrick up for a fast two and then backslides him for the same. It’s quickly off to Noble vs. Palumbo, with the latter grabbing a belly to back suplex.

Yang comes in off some of that Jung Dragons chemistry but gets suplexed for his efforts. A middle rope hurricanrana gets Yang out of trouble and it’s time for a parade of dives. We take a break and come back with everything breaking down, as you might have expected. Kofi dives onto Deuce N Domino and Holly gets to hit an Alabama Slam. Khali and Kane have finally had enough of this and start wrecking people. With the two of them down, Henry feeds Dreamer into a big boot from Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that isn’t about the action itself but rather telling you what you might be seeing on Sunday. In that sense it worked out well enough, but my goodness the battle royal might as well have about three people. Chavo almost has to lose at this point as there is just nothing to his title reign and someone else can take the title to hopefully do something with it.

Post match everyone gets in the ring for the huge staredown.

Boxing personalities talk about Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Chavo Guerrero comes up to mock the injured Tommy Dreamer. A match is set for tonight, thanks to some insults to Colin Delaney (sure why not).

Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Feeling out process to start with Carlito slugging away as Taz says he has been hit in the face with a ladder in a match but never had a ladder match. Benjamin skins the cat but Carlito snaps his throat across the top for a crash to the floor. We hit the chinlock back inside and the fans do not seem impressed. Benjamin fights up but gets knocked back into the corner as this isn’t exactly burning up the mat.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Benjamin electric chairs his way to freedom. Carlito is back with a neckbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Benjamin’s back. Benjamin finally makes the comeback and hits the overhead belly to belly. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but the Backstabber is countered into a buckle bomb. Paydirt is countered into a backbreaker to give Carlito two more but Benjamin catches him on top. A super Paydirt finishes Carlito off.

Rating: C-. These two were left out there to fill in as much time as they could and it didn’t exactly work. There were far too many chinlocks to get them through the match until Benjamin finally won in the end. This really didn’t work very well, but like everything else around here, none of that is going to matter by next week.

Video on the Raw World Title triple threat match.

Wrestlemania rundown.

The final inductee into the Hall of Fame Class: Gordon Solie.

Kelly Kelly/Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox/Layla

The women actually wrestle to start with Kelly getting two. Knox gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Layla takes over for a bit. The men come in and Richards swings away until the women getting in a fight distracts him. Knox grabs a swinging Downward Spiral for the fast pin.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and the battle royal participants are at ringside. Dreamer backdrops him to the apron and punches him out to the floor to start, with the unofficial lumberjacks sending Chavo back inside. Chavo sends him shoulder first into the post and we hit the front facelock. The fans think Chavo sucks, even as Dreamer fights up with a bulldog. Guerrero blocks something out of the corner so Dreamer settles for a neckbreaker. Dreamer gets crotched on top though and the frog splash gives Chavo the pin.

Rating: C-. And that’s another Chavo match these days, as they are still rather uninteresting with little going on that could make me care about the title. Dreamer making his comeback is always decent enough but there was only so much that can be done with a three minute match less than a week before Wrestlemania. Just get the title off of Chavo already because this reign is dragging down everything else.

Post match everyone gets inside and the fight is on to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. My goodness Wrestlemania needs to come and go already because this show is falling apart in a hurry. There is only so much that can be done when you have one important story and that one is in limbo due to the champion not having an opponent. Other than that, it is a bunch of people trying to fill in time and that is not going to work long, or even short, term.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – March 4, 2008: They Need To Pull Over

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 4, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re still on the Road to Wrestlemania and somehow, again, we’re getting CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero for the latter’s ECW Title. This is setting a new standard for trying to squeeze every last drop out of an idea and there absolutely cannot be much left to wring out of the feud. Maybe tonight can wrap it up for good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at the last month or so of CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero, because the feud is so long that you can trim it down like that.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Miz/John Morrison vs. Colin Delaney/Tommy Dreamer

Delaney and Dreamer are challenging after beating the champs in a non-title match last week. Dreamer and Miz start things off with Miz being taken down rather quickly. A Quebecers’ Cannonball hits Miz for two but he’s right back up to drive Delaney into the corner. Morrison comes in for the springboard spinning kick to the head but Delaney manages to kick him away.

The tag brings in Dreamer to a rather nothing reaction and a neckbreaker out of the corner for one on Morrison. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on but Miz makes the save, knocks Delaney to the floor and hammers Dreamer down. That’s too far for Delaney, who grabs a chair and cleans house for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Yeah this wasn’t much to see and that’s because there was no way the titles were going to change here. Delaney and Dreamer are some teacher/student deal and it is getting better over the weeks, but that doesn’t mean they were ready to become champions. Points for making someone new though, which has been lacking around here for a good bit.

Post match Dreamer looks stunned but also rather pleased with the violence. Ignore Delaney costing them the title shot.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Stevie Richards

Benjamin’s original Ain’t No Stopping Me Now music is gone, taking away one of the catchier themes from the era. Richards grabs a headlock to start but Benjamin pulls him out of the air for a shoulder breaker to take over. An armbar and them a figure four arm lock (Tazz’s words) keep Richards in trouble.

Benjamin elbows him in the face and grabs the same arm lock as things grind to another halt. Back up and Benjamin jumps to the top, only to miss a high crossbody. We get some weak SHELTON chants as Richards makes the comeback, including an enziguri for two. That’s too far for Benjamin, who hits the jumping Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was as interesting as Benjamin working the arm for two minutes out of less than five was going to be. The new Benjamin is just so lame with the gold hair and the weaker music, but at least they’re pushing someone who still has some star power. Also, so much for Richards’ push, but I don’t know what kinds of legs it had in the first place.

Post match Benjamin promises to win Money In The Bank.

We recap the reveal of Maria’s Playboy cover.

Kofi Kingston and Kelly Kelly are admiring the Playboy cover, with Kingston saying she could be a Playboy cover girl. With that kind of creepy line out of the way, Layla comes in to yell at Kelly about Playboy wanting Layla instead. Catfighting ensues, likely over who could be a worse actress.

Kane vs. James Gibson

Before the match, Chuck Palumbo, who is facing Kane on Smackdown, rides to the ring on his motorcycle. Not that it matters as the chokeslam finishes Gibson in about thirty seconds.

Raw Rebound.

CM Punk talks about how Chavo Guerrero claims to be a warrior, but there is one Guerrero who is a warrior and it isn’t Chavo. Punk talks about the things he’s done to Chavo and promises to regain the title tonight.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero is defending. Feeling out process to start as Chavo takes him into the corner, only to get rolled up for a fast two. A hammerlock slam sets up an armbar from Punk, which is quickly reversed into a headlock. With that broken up, Punk tries a springboard but gets knocked out to the floor in a pretty nasty crash.

We take a break and come back with Chavo working on the leg, including a chop block to cut him down again. The leg is wrapped around the post and Chavo seems rather confident. We hit the leg crank but Punk manages to use the good leg to kick Chavo outside. Back in and Punk grabs an armbar, only to have Chavo pull him into a half crab. The rope is grabbed so Chavo plants him with a tornado DDT for two instead. Punk catches him going up but gets knocked back down, setting up the frog splash to retain the title.

Rating: C+. They’re done now right? Chavo has beaten Punk multiple times now and this one was completely clean so the feud is over. There is nothing left for these two to do with each other and it is time for both of them to move on. I’m not sure what that will mean for Chavo, but Punk is more than ready to move up to one of the other shows.

Overall Rating: C. This show is in need of a fresh tank of gas as they seem to be running on empty. Miz and Morrison vs. Delaney and Dreamer is the second biggest story on the show and that has the shelf life of some week old bread. Other than that, you have Benjamin minus the fun stuff and Kane warmed up for something on Smackdown. What does that leave for this show? Decent main event this week and nothing else.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – February 26, 2008: Blech Is Never A Good Description

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 26, 2008
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re on the way to Wrestlemania and this week isn’t likely to have Ric Flair for a main event. Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk should be done for good but you never can tell with that feud. It feels like it could somehow keep going despite being long past its expiration date. If not Punk though, who else is supposed to go after the title? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Kelly Kelly/Kofi Kingston vs. Santino Marella/Layla

The women start things off as Tazz talks about some 80s song. Actually we’ll switch to the men as Kelly has to bring in “Koko Kingston”. That’s fine with Kofi, who knocks Marella into the corner and hammers away. Back up and Santino gets in a cheap shot to take over and a clothesline allows for some posing.

Layla even gets in some hair pulling from the apron, allowing Santino to work on an armbar. For some reason Santino tags Layla in, which is as good as Kofi tagging Kelly. Some clotheslines drop Layla and Kelly hits a high crossbody for one as everything breaks down. Trouble In Paradise drops Santino and a Fameasser gives Kelly the pin.

Rating: C-. This was as good as Santino doing his lame offense to Kofi for a few minutes before the women came in for the finish was going to be. Santino is a fun character but he doesn’t exactly have the in-ring work to back it up in any way. Kofi continues to feel like someone WWE is protecting and that is a good sign for his future.

Bunnymania is coming at Wrestlemania.

Video on Maria’s Playboy shoot.

Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox

Knox, ever the villain, goes for the throat to start and a hot shot cuts off a comeback attempt. The slow beating is on and Knox grabs a chinlock to stay on the throat. That’s switched into a choke so the fans start begging for the comeback. Richards comes up with a superkick but the StevieT is blocked. Instead Richards avoids a charge into the corner and now the StevieT is enough to finish Knox off.

Rating: D+. Do you know how fast someone with the limited offense of Knox is going to run out of throat based moves? Richards has a good story, but there is only so much that you can do with it week after week. Yeah he has a bad throat, but if that’s all you’re getting, how far is this supposed to go?

Tommy Dreamer tells Colin Delaney that he as a future as his injuries are starting to heal. Delaney asks if he can have his own theme music when he becomes a star. Dreamer glares at him.

Raw Rebound.

Commentary gets serious about the Vince McMahon/JBL/Hornswoggle/Finlay ordeal.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer/Colin Delaney

Non-title. Dreamer armdrags Morrison down to start but Delaney tags himself in (Dreamer: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”) and hits a dropkick. Morrison takes him down without much trouble though and it’s off to Miz to hammer away in the corner. The backbreaker/slingshot elbow combination gives Morrison two and it’s back to Miz for a chinlock. Delaney fights up and Dreamer gets the tag to start the house cleaning. A reverse DDT plants Miz and Morrison is sent outside. Dreamer sends Miz into Delaney and the DDT is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. It might make sense in the story but Dreamer and Delaney just beat the Tag Team Champions completely clean. That’s not the best thing to see and while Miz and Morrison aren’t likely to drop the titles, it feels like a repeat of the Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore feud. Just stop having the champs get pinned.

Video on the Wrestlemania press conference, with the focus on Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Miz and John Morrison are yelling at each other when they’re told Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney are getting a Tag Team Title shot next week. They aren’t scared.

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets an ECW Title shot against Chavo Guerrero, on commentary, next week. The fans are behind Punk as Benjamin kicks Burke to the floor. Chavo: “I would have ducked.” Benjamin knocks Punk down but Burke low bridges him outside to even things up a bit. Back in and Punk grabs a slightly scary flapjack on Burke but Benjamin comes in for the jumping Downward Spiral to drop Punk.

We take a break and come back with Benjamin sunset bombing Punk to the floor but getting dropkicked off the apron by Burke. The Outer Limits elbow gets two on Punk and the running crotch attack to the back of the next hits Benjamin as Burke is the only one left standing. Punk pulls Burke off the top, only to get caught with Benjamin’s dragon whip to cut him down as well. Burke knocks Benjamin out to the floor but Punk is back up with the GTS for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. They didn’t hide what they were going to do with the winner here and that isn’t the worst thing. That being said, I’m completely burned out on Punk vs. Chavo, but who else is there to go after the title? ECW is really weak on top faces right now and I don’t think I can see Stevie Richards getting a title shot. That leaves Punk, and that isn’t much to write home about at the moment.

Post match Guerrero gets in the ring for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Blech, what a weak show this was, with Kofi vs. Santino being one of the more interesting things going on. You can only get so much with this limited of a roster and no one else to challenge Chavo, so this was more a matter of time than anything else. The main event was fine, but I need more than Punk vs. Chavo 47 or whatever it is to pique my interest.

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – February 19, 2008: They Don’t Need A Guest Star

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 19, 2008
Location: Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re done with No Way Out and on the way to Wrestlemania, which probably won’t mean much for ECW. Chavo Guerrero retained the ECW World Title by defeating CM Punk, again, and that means we need something else on the way to Orlando. I doubt we get that this week, but you have to start somewhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Ric Flair to get things going with an in-ring interview with Tazz. After the traditional sucking up, Tazz congratulates Flair on being the first inductee into the 2008 Hall Of Fame class. Flair says it’s an honor, but being the first active wrestler to be inducted may be the ultimate honor. He isn’t going to retire, but he knows that he has to retire after his next loss. That won’t be happening anytime soon though, so WOO!

Cue Elijah Burke to interrupt and say he was a Flair fan growing up. Vince McMahon told him to usher in the new generation and that is what he’s done, so give him four fingers. Cue Shelton Benjamin to interrupt the interrupter and congratulate Flair for always being the Gold Standard. At least he was though, because now Benjamin is in that spot. Flair doesn’t buy their sincerity and says no matter what they do, they’ll never equal sixteen World Titles. The fight is on until CM Punk runs in for the save.

Post break Burke and Benjamin aren’t happy. Armando Alejandro Estrada comes in to make the obvious tag match.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jason Riggs

Riggs’ headlock doesn’t last long as Kingston slips out and armdrags him into an armbar. Back up and Riggs grabs a slam into a chinlock, with Kofi fighting up for the double chop. The double legdrop sets up Trouble In Paradise to give Kofi the fast pin.

Post match Kofi says he’ll keep winning.

We look at Vince McMahon and JBL destroying Hornswoggle in a cage on Raw. Finlay carrying Hornswoggle out was a great visual.

Miz vs. Colin Delaney

John Morrison and Tommy Dreamer are here too. Miz mocks the heavily bandaged Delaney to start and knocks him into the corner for the running clothesline. Delaney gets in a few shots so Morrison offers a distraction. That’s enough to earn himself an ejection and Delaney grabs a rollup for two. Miz isn’t having this and Reality Checks him for the pin.

Post match Dreamer goes after Miz but the villains beat down both Dreamer and Delaney without much trouble.

We look at Maria beating Beth Phoenix to earn the right to be in Playboy.

Kelly Kelly is proud of Maria and would love to be in Playboy someday.

Stevie Richards vs. James Curtis

We get another clip of Stevie’s interview from a few weeks ago and it’s now the third time we’ve heard the same story. Curtis clotheslines him down and Richards grabs his throat. Said throat is gone after with a chinlock but Richards kicks him in the ribs a few times. A running splash in the corner sets up the StevieT to finish Curtis fast.

Raw Rebound.

CM Punk/Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin/Elijah Burke

Punk and Burke get things going as Joey explains that Flair’s career is NOT on the line because this is a tag match. At least that gives us a tiny bit more uncertainty about the winner. A slam drops Burke early and Flair comes in for the chops. Burke gets smart by poking him in the eye and Benjamin comes in, only for Flair to go up top for a DOUBLE SHOT TO THE VILLAINS and we take a break.

Back with Flair avoiding a charge in the corner and doing a Flair Flop into the corner for the tag to Punk (that was cute). House is cleaned but Benjamin shoves off a running bulldog attempt. The villains start working on the ribs, including Benjamin hitting a buckle bomb and almost powerbombing Punk out to the floor (that should have been a bigger deal). Back in and Punk escapes a powerbomb and hits a jumping enziguri, allowing the tag back to Flair. Everything breaks down and Benjamin kicks Flair’s leg out to break up a suplex. The Elijah Express misses though and Flair Figure Fours him for the win.

Rating: C. Completely basic match here with a grand total of almost nothing in the way of doubt about the result. Flair’s next loss is going to be a big deal and it isn’t happening to a pair of pretty midcard names on ECW. It’s nice to have Flair in a nothing match like this for a change though, and it isn’t like Burke losing hurts him in the slightest.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was watchable enough at best and that’s about all the praise I can give it. The biggest problem here is that it felt like a nothing show where they just got in and out without doing anything important. That doesn’t exactly get us onto the Road to Wrestlemania that well but at least they didn’t have anything to that badly. Uninteresting yes, but badly no.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – February 12, 2008

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 12, 2008
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,307
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

The now seemingly never ending feud between Chavo Guerrero and CM Punk continues after Punk knocked Guerrero into the Gulf of Mexico last week. We are still on the way to their next match at No Way Out and odds are Guerrero is going to do something to get back at Punk this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s Gulf Of Mexico match.

Opening sequence.

Here is Chavo Guerrero to get things going. He stands before you, lucky to be alive, as CM Punk threw him into the Gulf Of Mexico and he can’t even swim! Now he has a HORRIBLE sinus infection, plus some pink spots on his throat. He’s had migraines too and these TV lights are making it worse. When he was in the water, he was stung by a jellyfish!

But he is a Mexican warrior so he’ll defend the ECW Title against Punk TONIGHT. Cue Armando Alejandro Estrada to say that while he is proud of Chavo, he can’t let that match happen. Chavo is still sick, but Punk can have a warmup match tonight….against Mark Henry. Works for Chavo!

We look at Stevie Richards’ sitdown interview last week where he talks about wanting to come back from his latest surgery. This was a great way to build sympathy for him and it worked well.

Stevie Richards vs. Rory Fox

Richards grabs a headlock to start before taking Fox down for a kick to the chest/back each. A big boot and a double underhook DDT finishes Fox in a hurry, leaving Richards looking very pleased.

Video on Mark Henry.

Kelly Kelly vs. Layla

Lena Yada is here with Layla, who takes Kelly down with a headscissors to start. Kelly fights up but gets knocked into the corner as Tazz tries to talk about their looks without sounding creepy and not quite making it work. Layla starts in on the arm, including legdrops and an armbar to mix things up a bit. Kelly breaks it up and manages a high crossbody for two, followed by a Fameasser for the pin.

Rating: C-. I don’t think it’s anys ecret that this crop of women weren’t exactly great in the ring but they did seem to be trying. Having a match that was just under four minutes and could have been far worse isn’t the worst result and they do seem to be getting more comfortable in the ring. Keep working on that and see just how far they can take things.

Kofi Kingston vs. Mike Knox

Kofi picks up the pace to start but can’t quite take the much bigger Knox down. He can however monkey flip Knox, who comes back with a shot to the face. Knox stomps him down in the corner as we do get a KOFI chant, though I’m not sure if enough people seem to be cheering it to reach that volume level. Kofi fights up and hits a kick to the face and the double legdrop. The spinning kick to the head finishes Knox off.

Rating: C. Another basic but effective match here as Kofi is starting to establish more of a style. He has a long way to go, but beating some slightly more difficult competition like Knox is a good thing. Knox hasn’t been a big deal in awhile, but beating someone who used to be a bigger deal is better than beating someone who has never been anything.

No Way Out rundown.

John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer

Miz and Colin Delaney are the seconds and the villains handle Dreamer and Delaney’s entrances in a rather negative way. Dreamer takes him down to start and sends things outside to keep up the beating. Miz grabs the foot though and Dreamer gets to crash out to the floor.

Back in and Morrison grabs a seated abdominal stretch before switching to the classic idea of punching him in the face. Dreamer avoids a charge though and Morrison crotches himself on the rope. After knocking Miz off the apron, Dreamer walks into Morrison’s springboard spinning kick to the face. The flipping neckbreaker is broken up though and Dreamer’s DDT finishes Morrison off.

Rating: C. It’s still low level stuff, but Delaney having any kind of a friend is a good thing and gives his story a better future. Sometimes that’s all you need and is has given the story a new life. Delaney takes a good beating and that can get him pretty far, with the obvious tag match being the big endgame from here.

Post match Miz and Morrison beat down Delaney and Dreamer.

Mark Henry says this is going to be a funeral.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

Chavo Guerrero comes out to watch. Punk slugs away and is promptly run over with a hard shoulder. The big elbow drop misses but Henry throws him down without any trouble. Henry posts him hard and then chokes inside for the DQ.

Post match Punk kicks Henry to the floor and gives Chavo the GTS to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. You can see the stories that they are putting together around here and while that is a good thing, it would be nice if the stories were a bit more interesting. The nothing women’s feud and a Tommy Dreamer mentor story are only going to get so far. At the same time it’s still CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero as the top feud. How far is that supposed to get you? Watchable enough show, but they still need something interesting.

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ECW On Sci Fi – February 5, 2008: It’s All Wet

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 5, 2008
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re in the Chavo Guerrero era and last week saw a rather obvious mariachi reveal (there’s a weird statement) as CM Punk is still trying to get his title back. Other than that, we have Tommy Dreamer standing up to help the eternally injured Colin Delaney, which could go in a few directions. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is CM Punk to get things going. Punk talks about Chavo Guerrero’s fiesta last week and we see a clip of Mariachi Punk hitting him with a guitar. Back in the arena, Punk says he is invoking his rematch clause right now and wants Chavo out here in this ring. Cue Chavo, who doesn’t think that rematch is happening tonight. Punk can have his rematch, but it’s going to be at No Way Out.

Last week, Punk embarrassed him so tonight, he is embarrassing Punk. We cut to Armando Alejandro Estrada, who is outside the arena, next to the Gulf of Mexico. Tonight, it’s Chavo vs. Punk in the first ever Gulf of Mexico match, where anything goes and you win by throwing your opponent into the Gulf. Well that’s unique.

Victoria/Layla vs. Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly

Lena Yada is here with Victoria/Layla. Kelly flips out of Layla’s wristlock to start before pretty badly mistiming a handspring elbow in the corner. Michelle comes in for a Hennig necksnap so it’s off to Victoria, who gets forearmed in the face. A shot in the corner slows Michelle down though and Victoria takes out her knee. That doesn’t last long as Michelle gets over to Kelly, who high crossbodies Victoria down. There’s a headscissors to make it worse but as everything breaks down, Lena grabs Kelly’s leg so the Widow’s Peak can give Victoria the pin.

Rating: C-. Kelly is trying to get better but you can only get so far with her timing issues. That can come with work and time but it isn’t there yet. Michelle is getting better as her size and athleticism helps, but you can only get so far wrestling Victoria so many times. Not a terrible match, though keeping the match this short was the only way to go.

We look back at Shelton Benjamin walking out on a match with Kane last week. Their rematch is on Smackdown.

Wrestlemania video, set to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Weird that this is included here but was missing on Raw.

John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer

Miz and Colin Delaney are here too. Dreamer hits a shoulder block to start and armdrags him into an armbar. Back up and Morrison gets in a shot of his own and chokes on the apron to send Dreamer outside. Dreamer has to save the heavily bandaged Delaney, allowing Morrison to get in another shot to take over again.

The chinlock goes on before something close to Miz’s old Mizard of Oz gets two. Morrison misses a corkscrew moonsault though and the comeback is on, including a flapjack to give Dreamer two. There’s the reverse DDT to drop Morrison but Delaney has to cut off an invading Miz. That’s enough of a distraction that Morrison can neckbreaker Dreamer for the pin.

Rating: C. Dreamer is still fine in this role and it isn’t like he is going to be in any major story for the time being. Having him act as Delaney’s protector makes sense and could turn into something down the line. Miz and Morrison need some challengers anyway so let someone be built up for a change.

We get a sitdown interview with Stevie Richards, who talks about his latest throat surgery. His neck was hurt back in 1997 when Terry Funk dropped a barricade on him (and yes we see a clip), which somehow hurt his vocal chords. He has had nine throat surgeries since then but he’ll be back in the ring next week. Richards has been a heck of a surprise in this ECW and I’m glad to see him back.

Kofi Kingston vs. James Curtis

Kofi takes him down into an armbar to start and then twists Curtis down by the wrist. Curtis is back up with his own armbar and works on his own wristlock as the fans do not sound overly interested. Thankfully they pick up the pace a bit with some chops and a jumping elbow dropping Curtis. There’s the jumping double leg and the spinning kick to the face gives Kofi the pin.

Rating: C-. Kofi is one of the more unique looking stars in a good while and it is cool to watch him do his stuff, but spending more than half of the match working on the arms is only going to get you so far. I still wonder if Curtis could have been something, as he had a decent look and could wrestle a competent enough match.

No Way Out rundown.

Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk

Non-title Gulf of Mexico match, meaning you win by throwing the other person into the Gulf. They’re both in jeans (and their respective t-shirts of course) to start before the brawl goes outside rather quickly. Chavo knocks him over the barricade and into some chairs but Punk is back with some strikes of his own. Punk gets dropped ribs first onto a wall but fight back and they fight out into the concourse. It’s time to go outside where Punk punches in him the face, earning himself a whip onto the hood of a well timed car.

We take a break and come back with Punk slamming him onto the hood of another car. A backdrop sends Chavo into the windshield but he’s right back with some kicks to the ribs. They go over towards the water, where they scare off some very confused fishermen. Chavo chucks the fishermen’s cooler at Punk but can’t manage to throw him into the Gulf. An attempt at a suplex into the Gulf is blocked and Punk GTS’s him into the water for the win.

Rating: C+. This worked in a weird way, partially due to the lack of commentary when they came back from the break and partially due to letting them have a unique fight. Punk vs. Chavo has been done to death in the ring so let them get out of the ring and mix it up a bit. The next title match is already set up and Punk getting to pose against the night sky after throwing Chavo into the Gulf of Mexico is certainly a way to make things more interesting.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was the best part of the show but it wasn’t enough to carry the rest. There were too many things on here that just weren’t very good and it dragged things down a bit. ECW is still a one to two story show at best and while it is only an hour a week, it isn’t the most interesting hour as the dull parts are really hurting the good pieces.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 4, 2008: Needs More Filler

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2008
Location: Frank Irwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 13,552
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So we are firmly into the build for No Way Out, which will feature John Cena challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title, plus an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Thankfully we’re only getting the build toward one Elimination Chamber match, which should fill in most of this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Randy Orton is in the ring to start things off and it looks like we’ve got a contract signing. Orton recaps the setup of his title match with John Cena at No Way Out, which is Cena’s Royal Rumble title shot. That’s not good enough for Orton though, which is why he wants a contract signed so Cena has no way out. Orton’s lawyers have already signed the contract and he has signed it, so get Cena out here to sign it too.

After a quick walk through the back, here is Cena to quite the ovation. Cena wastes no time in signing and Orton is rather pleased, because the match is on no matter what happens to Cena, including in his arm wrestling match with Mark Henry tonight. Cue Henry for a distraction so the RKO can lay Cena out. They certainly didn’t waste time here.

Post break, Henry and Orton deny planning anything in advance. Violence is promised for later tonight.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix/Victoria

Kelly goes after Victoria to start and manages a backslide, which has commentary far too impressed. Mickie comes in to go after Beth but gets pulled off the top, which might be a knee injury. A guillotine works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers her into the corner. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits a tornado DDT to finish Victoria.

Mickie wants the title.

William Regal tells Hornswoggle to get ready to join Vince McMahon’s special club. Regal: “I’m in it!”

Here is Shawn Michaels, with JR saying HHH isn’t here tonight due to a family emergency. Shawn talks about how close he got to winning the WWE Title last year at Wrestlemania but he doesn’t want to be second place. He is ready to go back this year so everyone in the Elimination Chamber is on notice. Shawn: “Friend, family and Umaga….whatever he is, he’s on notice too!”

Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt to say he respects Shawn and how much he loved their Wrestlemania match. But then Shawn suggested he is going to win the Elimination Chamber and that’s too far. Jericho has been inside the Chamber three times and knows what it takes to make it to the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Jeff Hardy to interrupt to say that he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania for the first time.

Now it’s JBL interrupting to say he gets what he wants. He has bought Umaga to get him to the main event of Wrestlemania….so here is Umaga to interrupt. After staring down the good guys, Umaga turns to JBL and backs him into the corner, which brings out Snitsky, to say the other five have had their chances. Fans: “BRUSH YOUR TEETH!”

Shawn doesn’t care for threats and mocks Snitsky’s teeth before hitting him in the face. The brawl is on and we probably have a six man for later. Indeed as William Regal comes out to make the six man tag. This took a long time to get to the point and was mainly there to get all six of the Elimination Chamber participants out there.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Kennedy dropkicks the knee out to start and hammers away at the leg. The knee is twisted back and then around the post but Crazy uses the free leg to kick Kennedy in the head. That’s broken up and Kennedy grabs…kind of an inverted Figure Four for the fast tap. At least the hold was different than just a copy of Flair’s Figure Four.

Post match Kennedy shows us a clip of MVP taking out Ric Flair’s knee last week on Smackdown. Therefore, Kennedy is giving Flair a chance to come here next week and forfeit the No Way Out match and save his leg. They’re taking a different path to Kennedy vs. Flair and it’s more interesting than I would have thought.

Mike Adamle hypes up the Raw Elimination Chamber.

Video on the Chamber itself.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Carlito and Marella. Kendrick dropkicks Carlito for a fast two but Marella low bridges him to the floor. London chases Marella around the ring, leaving Carlito to hit a Backstabber to finish Kendrick. Remember when London and Kendrick were one of the best teams in the company?

Vince McMahon is preparing for Hornswoggle to join his, ahem, special club. This involves a, quote, “Professional a** buffer” and “a** cream”. Vince: “Mr. McMahon’s a** in HD!”

Here’s Vince to humiliate Hornswoggle again. He talks about how you can’t reason with a child, so you have to discipline them. After ranting about children in the audience, Vince says you have to literally make them kiss your a**. Cue Hornswoggle, who Vince blames for the whole thing and it’s going to hurt Vince more than him.

Vince drops his pants and asks for a pardon of the tan lines. Hornswoggle goes to kiss it but Vince demands that he kiss it (that felt like a missed cue). Cue Finlay to ask what is wrong with Vince, who threatens a firing. Actually, Finlay can kiss it instead, but Hornswoggle gives it a bite. That doesn’t work for Vince, who makes himself vs. Hornswoggle next week, No DQ, and if Finlay interferes, he’s fired. This was WAY longer than any segment involving Vince not wearing pants should have been.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Non-title. Holly elbows Murdoch down to start so it’s off to Cade to run Holly over right back. That doesn’t last long and Cody comes in with a top rope ax handle, setting up a bulldog. Everything breaks down and Cody DDTs Murdoch for the pin.

Post match Carlito and Santino Marella come out to challenge for the titles. Egads that’s a rough time for the belts.

No Way Out rundown.

Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Snitsky/Umaga

Shawn and Umaga start things off with Shawn’s chops having no effect. Umaga misses a sitdown splash so Jericho comes in and gets headbutted down without much trouble. It’s off to Snitsky to miss a big boot, allowing Jericho to triangle dropkick him out to the floor. Hardy comes in (big reaction for that) and gets slammed by Snitsky, allowing JBL to pound away.

A hard shoulder drops Hardy but Snitsky comes in and allows the tag off to Shawn. Something like an Indian Deathlock has Snitsky in trouble but everything breaks down. The good guys hit triple dives and we take a break with the fans sounding rather enthusiastic. Back with Jericho in trouble and getting caught in the wrong corner.

Umaga grabs a bearhug before hitting the Samoan drop for two. Jericho tries to fight out but gets kicked in the back to cut him right back down. An enziguri gives Jericho a breather though and the hot tag brings in Hardy to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Snitsky.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard, long form six man here with Hardy winning for the feel good moment. Hardy is going to be the fan favorite in the Chamber and giving him some momentum on the way there is the right thing to do. The fans wanted to see him do anything here and it’s not like Jericho and Shawn need to pin Snitsky. Basic six man formula here and it worked just fine.

And now, arm wrestling between John Cena and Mark Henry. As expected, Henry takes forever to start and gets in a cheap shot on Cena’s recently injured chest. They go, Henry is about to win, Cena is about to win, Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena. The RKO and AA are blocked and Orton runs, leaving Cena to AA Henry to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show as they had two stories, with the Elimination Chamber stuff and John Cena vs. Randy Orton. That filled in part of the show, but there wasn’t much else to fill in time other than those two stories. Unfortunately the other big story was Vince/Hornswoggle and….yeah that was as Vince of a segment as you could have had. No Way Out is all but set and that has me wondering how bad things are going to go next week when they don’t have much to say. For now though, it was just an ok show without much to fill in the gaps between the big stuff.

 

 

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