Impact Wrestling – July 7, 2020: Slow And Steady

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 7, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

We’re getting very close to Slammiversary and things seem to have settled down enough that there might not even be another major change this week. The show has been entertaining enough as of late that I can give them a bit of the benefit of the doubt, but that has gotten me in trouble before. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie vs. Susie/Kylie Rae

John E. Bravo is here with Rosemary/Taya. Rosemary yells at Susie for throwing away all the work to get her powers back and calls her an idiot. Susie says no and throws her down for three straight twos off three straight crucifixes. Kylie comes in and offers Taya a handshake, which goes as well as you would expect. A headlock takeover doesn’t do much better so she tries the STF, sending Taya straight to the ropes. There’s a double bulldog to give Susie two but Taya knocks her into the corner.

Rosemary’s bicycle kick into a German suplex from Taya gets two. The running knees in the corner gets two more but Susie gets in a clothesline, allowing the hot tag to Rae. The Cannonball hits Rosemary for two but she kicks Rae down. Rae is right back with a Stunner to Rosemary, who pops right back up. Taya comes in with a spear and gets two off a bridging northern lights suplex. Everything breaks down and Susie clotheslines Rosemary outside. Taya sends Susie out with her but gets pulled into the STF for the tap at 8:17.

Rating: C. Another good example of the depth the division is starting to put together. Rae is someone who could be a star in the division for the time being and Susie could go a long way as a featured attraction if they play up the double reality deal. Rosemary and Taya are both very good as well, though they seem to have slipped a good bit as of late.

The announcers give a double preview of both Slammiversary and tonight, or at least the matches related to the pay per view.

Chris Bey isn’t happy with Johnny Swinger getting banned from ringside at Slammiversary, but Swinger has a plan.

Deaners vs. Reno Scum vs. XXXL vs. TJP/Fallah Bahh

It’s a big brawl to start with XXXL cleaning house until Scum pulls them down to the floor. Jake dives onto a bunch of people and we take a break. Back with Scum choking Cody on the ropes but TJP and Bahh make a quick save. There’s the Pit Stop to keep Cody in trouble but Acey tags himself in to crush Cody as well.

Everything breaks down and it’s Scum and TJP/Bahh fighting to the back, leaving us with a regular tag match for a change. We settle down to Larry and Jake coming in off the double tag and the Deaner DDT is blocked. Everything breaks down again again and Larry misses the Best Hand in the House. A Boss Man Slam gives Jake the pin at 8:57.

Rating: D+. It was nice to have the match settle down to just four people at the end as there is only so much you can do with so many people in there at once. It also doesn’t help that these teams seem to be trading wins, which doesn’t exactly do much to set up a title match down the line.

We cut to the back where TJP is down and Scum is beating on Bahh. TJP is back up with a big dive off something like a fork lift. Bahh puts TJP in a trashcan where he pushes a chair around to hit Scum in the head. Scum pops back up and takes them out again, including burying TJP under some barricades.

Swinger is looking for a costume to find a way to be at ringside. The Super Eric one won’t do, but Suicide will be fine.

Flashback Moment of the Week: The Beautiful People b. Angelina Love/Tara at Lockdown 2010.

Ken Shamrock meets Sami Callihan and offers his help tonight for Callihan’s match against Josh Alexander. Sami likes the sound of it but talks about how they’re like the scorpion and the frog. Bye bye.

Kimber Lee vs. Jordynne Grace

Non-title. Lee wants a test of strength to start so Grace powers her down by the hands without much effort. The threat of the Grace Driver sends Lee bailing to the rope and a bite of the finger breaks the grip. Grace’s grip on a spinebuster is good enough for two but Lee uses a foot on the back of the head to drive her throat first into the middle rope. Another kick to the back gets two and Lee grabs a full nelson with her leg. Grace fights up and hits a scary looking Michinoku Driver for two but Lee kicks her down again. The Swanton gets two so Lee goes for the brass knuckles. Grace blocks that and the Grace Driver finishes at 6:21.

Rating: C-. This was a good way to give Grace some momentum on the way to the pay per view title defense. Lee was a big deal when she debuted but it hasn’t quite clicked for her since then. She has talent, but nothing has really worked in a good while now. Grace vs. Purrazzo should be a good title match though and that’s what matters at the moment.

Post match Purrazzo pops up on screen to say Grace has to wait until Slammiversary.

We get a long video on the three World Title participants wanting the title.

Eddie Edwards wants to get back to the top because he has almost lost everything around here. Yes he has been a World Champion before, but now he needs to do it again to show he still has it.

Ace Austin has only wrestled for five years and look at how fast he has gotten to the main event. Now he is ready to prove himself for good.

Trey is ready to show that he is ready to do anything to win because he has come such a long way to get here. He wants to know what it’s like to get to the top. Trey goes into a crazed rant about Ace Austin trying to take him out and swears to never be hungry again.

As for the mystery opponent, they’re all ready for whomever it is. This was a good package and they’re making the title match, as cobbled together as it is, feel important.

Suicide comes up to Willie Mack and gets an X-Division Title shot tonight. It isn’t clear if Mack knew what was up, but hopefully he isn’t that stupid.

It’s time for Locker Room Talk with Madison Rayne interviewing the most iconic Knockout of all time: herself of course, and yes she does jump from chair to chair. She has a big announcement: she is going to be in the Knockouts gauntlet match to crown a new #1 contender. Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan come in to laugh at her for being ridiculous but Nevaeh and Havok come in for the brawl. The cameraman is knocked down so Madison lays on the floor to sign off.

Hernandez is still winning at arm wrestling until Rhino comes in. More on this later.

X-Division Title: Willie Mack vs. Suicide

Suicide (Johnny Swinger that is) is challenging, even though his gear doesn’t zip all the way up. A kick to the ribs staggers Mack a bit but Suicide fails at trying the Spider-Man pose in the rope. The abdominal stretch doesn’t work either so it’s the Stunner to retain the title at 1:28.

Tommy Dreamer reads a statement from his lawyer (Tricky Dicky Heyman) about how stupid Moose is, including thinking the Earth is flat. Moose comes in and Dreamer says he’s called the TNA Championship Committee, meaning he’s the #1 contender at Slammiversary. Moose says that’s stupid because there is no committee. Dreamer: “Just like there is no TNA.” Remember when this was about nostalgia and the good old days of the company? As in before the story was turned upside down and Tommy Dreamer gets a shot at a title he knows doesn’t exist?

We run down the Slammiversary card again.

Josh Alexander vs. Sami Callihan

Ethan Page is at ringside but there is no Shamrock. Callihan runs him over with a shoulder to start and adds a clothesline to put Alexander on the floor. Back in and a middle rope knee to the head puts Alexander right back outside but this time Callihan follows. Alexander gets in a cheap shot thanks to a Page distraction and a whip into the barricade sends us to a break.

Back with Alexander pulling him outside again but this time Callihan grabs a Death Valley Driver on the floor. Alexander is fine enough to hit a suplex onto the apron and Sami takes a good while to get back in. More stomping and forearming have Sami down for two inside and the slow beating continues. Sami fights back but can’t hit the Cactus Special. He can however hit a brainbuster for a somewhat cocky near fall, followed by the right hands in the corner.

Alexander is right back up with a kick to the leg and the ankle lock. That’s broken up as well and they head to the apron, with Sami hitting a piledriver to knock Alexander silly. The referee gets bumped though and Page comes in, drawing out Shamrock for the save. The ankle lock makes Page tap and Sami hits the Cactus Special for the pin at 10:57.

Rating: C. Good enough match here and a nice boost for the pay per view title version. The North’s title reign has gone on long enough now that it is going to mean something to have a team beat them, though I’m not sure if it’s going to be Callihan and Shamrock. I wouldn’t be overly annoyed it if was, but that might not be the best move.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a good example of a show where the wrestling wasn’t the point. Instead, it was all about getting ready for the pay per view and that’s what they did in a solid way. There was enough on the show to make me want to see Slammiversary, and if they keep that up next week, we should be in for a solid pay per view.

Results

Susie/Kylie Rae b. Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie – STF to Valkyrie

Deaners b. TJP/Fallah Ball, XXXL and Reno Scum – Boss Man Slam to Larry

Jordynne Grace b. Kimber Lee – Grace Driver

Willie Mack b. Suicide – Stunner

Sami Callihan b. Josh Alexander – Cactus Special

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – June 9, 2020: Something Positive

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 9, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

It’s a big night as we get to find out the future of the World Title. Last week Ace Austin won the #1 contenders tournament, which was rather odd as he beat someone who wasn’t even entered. Never let it be said that things go as you might expect around here, though that’s not necessarily a good thing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Don Callis and Scott D’Amore aren’t sure what to do about the World Title situation.

Ken Shamrock vs. Michael Elgin vs. Sami Callihan

Shamrock and Elgin start brawling before Sami shows up, meaning the lights go out so Sami can show up. Sami sends the other two outside but gets pulled out of the air and driven into the apron. Shamrock is back up with a dive onto both of them but Elgin hits a middle rope dropkick back inside.

Elgin sends Shamrock into the post and suplexes Callihan down for two. A hard whip into the corner has Sami in trouble and Elgin tells him to try it. Shamrock is back in to suplex Elgin and it’s time to slug it out with Callihan. Now it’s Elgin coming back in to beat up Callihan, with a running forearm getting two.

Elgin DDTs Shamrock, who pops up twice in a row. The ankle lock has Elgin in trouble and he gets to the corner….where he pulls the buckle pad off without the hold being broken. Sami blocks the tap so Shamrock locks his ankle instead. Callihan breaks that up and hits the Elgin Bomb to finish Shamrock at 8:48.

Rating: C. This was every standard triple threat match you’ve seen before so it’s nothing that you really need to see. Elgin winning makes the most sense as he’s getting the monster push, meaning the World Title shot has to be coming sooner or later. This is the kind of win that lets him look strong, and Elgin knows how to sell the heck out of that.

Post match Shamrock and Callihan stare each other down until the lights go out and Sami disappears.

The announcers preview the show.

Jordynne Grace will know everything is back when she drives Taya Valkyrie straight through the mat.

The Rascalz are ready for their seventeenth shot at the Tag Team Titles when Trey comes in and wants to know who jumped him. The North comes in to promise a beating last week. They accuse Wentz of jumping Trey, who denies everything.

Tasha Steelz vs. Susie

Kiera Hogan is here with Steelz. Tasha slaps her a few times to start and is quickly bulldogged down. That’s enough for Steelz to bail to the floor, where she knocks Susie’s dive out of the air with a forearm. Back in and Steelz stomps away, setting up a neckbreaker for two. A clothesline cuts Susie off but she’s back with a running Thesz press and the right hands. Susie palm strikes her out of the air for two as Hogan is panicking on the floor. That’s enough of a distraction for Steelz to hit a cutter for the pin at 3:47.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here to keep the people involved in the feud going and that’s not a bad thing. Steelz isn’t the most interesting person in the world but she and Hogan pushing Susie to the brink to bring out Su Yung is going to be a nice payoff. Yeah it’s basically the Fiend, but Yung can make it work.

Ace Austin is late for his interview for some reason before showing up to say he’ll be the new World Champion since Tessa Blanchard isn’t here. Moose comes in to offer to have a special robe for Ace when he comes after the TNA World Title at Slammiversary. Ace doesn’t seem interested and leaves, so here’s Hernandez instead. He’ll fight Moose next week. Moose backs away and says don’t get so close to him.

Slammiversary ad.

Steelz and Hogan celebrate but run into Havok and Nevaeh. A challenge is thrown out but that’s not happening tonight.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Earl Hebner fights back against Mike Kanellis and gets laid out on May 17, 2016.

Rohit Raju comes up to Rhino and wants to know about last week’s Gore. Rhino references having a partner who has kids and tells Raju to get out of here. The brawl is on.

Taya Valkyrie is looking for John E. Bravo.

Johnny Swinger/Chris Bey vs. Willie Mack/Cousin Jake

Mack and Bey start things off with Bey bailing into the corner early on for a tag to Swinger. That’s fine with Mack, who sends Swinger into the corner so Jake can come in to send Swinger into the corner. Bey gets in a cheap shot from the corner though and it’s Mack in trouble for a change. Since it’s just Swinger though, Mack kicks him away without much effort and it’s back to Jake.

Bey gets dropped onto Swinger but Jake misses a charge into the corner to send us to a break. Back with Bey choking Jake on the rope and Swinger getting in some of his own. Jake clotheslines his way to freedom though and it’s back to Mack to clean house. The standing moonsault gets two on Swinger and the Stunner puts him away at 10:43.

Rating: C. Bey continues to come off like a star in the making and Swinger is enough of a goof that you can see him do almost anything you want for the same success. Jake is kind of a random partner but the point is advancing Bey vs. Mack, which they did well. The Slammiversary title match should be a heck of a showcase for both of them too.

Post match the beatdown is on until Cody Deaner makes his return for the save. Jake seems surprised to see him, meaning we’re supposed to believe that that Jake either didn’t come up to see Cody today or that he just got here and happened to run in halfway through the show? That’s a heck of a coincidence.

Rosemary almost gets John E. Bravo to bite her apple but Taya comes in to yell at him. Rosemary doesn’t want to hear it and stands up for Bravo, but Taya says she was just looking out for his own good. Somehow a partnership is formed between the three of them.

Here’s Scott D’Amore to address the World Title situation. He knows that something has to be done and Tessa Blanchard is still not here. Cue Ace Austin to say the World Champion is right here. Before D’Amore can respond, here’s Elgin to say Ace is going to have to deal with him if he wants Elgin’s title. So either get out, or fight. Now it’s Eddie Edwards making his return to say he can beat Elgin to say you have to earn titles around here.

Ace tells D’Amore to get back to awarding him the title. D’Amore tells him to get back for the sake of social distancing. With that done, D’Amore says it’s a five way for the title at Slammiversary. Ace wants to know who the fifth person so D’Amore tells him to turn around. Cue Trey to springboard in with a dropkick and the big brawl is on.

The interviewer goes into Deonna Purrazzo’s locker room…and she’s not there. Ok then.

Joseph P. Ryan, with the returning Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes (to absolutely no fanfare) to introduce Jacob Crist, who is here to teach Mentally Unwell Steve a lesson.

Jacob Crist vs. Crazzy Steve

Crist jumps him from behind to start as Josh calls Steve an Impact Original. You mean the guy who debuted there all the way back in 2014? Choking on the ropes has Steve in trouble and Jake starts in on the arm. A short armscissors but Steve is right back up with a clothesline. Crist kicks him out of the corner though and a big kick to the head finishes Steve at 3:32.

Rating: D+. You can feel the Right to Censor vibes from these guys, but without Steven Richards to lead them, it doesn’t exactly make things work. Instead it’s Ryan being as dull as possible and making me roll my eyes every time the team comes out. Thankfully they aren’t going anywhere in a hurry, but I’m more confused about Van Dam’s return being treated as nothing. That’s kind of a big deal no?

Slammiversary ad. Again. At least this has the ex-WWE intrigue though and they’re making it seem like a big deal.

Preview for next week’s show.

Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. Taya Valkyrie

Taya is challenging and has Rosemary and John E. Bravo with her. Grace isn’t waiting to start so Taya bails to the floor, meaning it’s a suicide dive to take out all three of them. Back from a break with Grace firing off shoulders in the corner and getting two off a snap suplex. A belly to belly gets two and a forearm sends Taya outside.

Grace spends too much time to send her back inside though and gets kneed in the face. Taya goes up so Grace knocks her back down to the floor for a crash as we take a break. Back with Grace knocking Taya outside again but she sends Grace into the steps to take over. They head back inside for the running knee to Grace in the corner, setting up the quickly broken chinlock.

Grace counters a superplex into a powerbomb and they’re both down for a bit. It’s Grace up first to send her into the corner for the running forearm and the Vader Bomb gets two. The Grace Driver is broken up though and Taya spears her down for two more. The Road to Valhalla is blocked as well and Grace chokes her out to retain at 18:57.

Rating: B-. They were smart to put these two together as they’re some of the bigger Knockouts and can have a more physical match together. That’s what they had here and it’s nice to see Grace adding something new to her arsenal. The Taya/Rosemary/Bravo grouping could be interesting, but it was Grace’s time to retain here and they went with the logical move.

Post match here’s Deonna Purrazzo, who pulls Grace into a Fujiwara armbar to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Decent enough show here but nothing that blew the roof off the place. Slammiversary is taking shape in a hurry and that’s a good thing given that we have just over a month before the show. What matters most is there are multiple things I’m curious to see and that is becoming the norm around here. Impact has gone from a joke to a rather decent weekly series and that’s very cool to see. Not a great show, but it worked well enough for what it was supposed to do.

Results

Michael Elgin b. Ken Shamrock and Sami Callihan – Elgin Bomb to Shamrock

Tasha Steelz b. Susie – Cutter

Willie Mack/Cousin Jake b. Johnny Swinger/Chris Bey – Stunner to Swinger

Jacob Crist b. Crazzy Steve – Kick to the head

Jordynne Grace b. Taya Valkyrie – Rear naked choke

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – May 12, 2020: Well Done

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 12, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

Believe it or not, it’s tournament time around here and that means things are going to get interesting in a few weeks. I’m not sure what to expect here as we are on the way towards…well nothing actually as it’s far too early to know the next pay per view. Hopefully things stay up around here, which has been the case in recent weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening preview, narrated this week, talks about the tournament, but Moose cuts things off and throws it to the still amazing TNA voiceover guy who talks about how great Moose is. This includes various clips of names like Christopher Daniels, Robert Roode, Jeff Hardy, Dixie Carter and Hulk Hogan praising someone, who of course is Moose and this is in no way doctored. This was great and an actually unique opening.

Opening sequence.

#1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Mad Man Fulton vs. Hernandez

The Crists are in Fulton’s corner. Fulton drives him into the corner to start so Hernandez takes the bandanna off to show that he’s serious. Some running clotheslines don’t do much to Fulton but a Pounds takes him down as the shouting ensues. Fulton gets two off a suplex and it’s time to choke on the ropes as the announcers debate the validity of Moose’s title reign. Hernandez fights out of a chinlock but gets sent head first into the mat for his efforts.

Jake Crist gets in a cheap shot and we hit the chinlock again. Fulton misses a heck of a middle rope headbutt and Hernandez is back with a backsplash. The Crists get involved so Hernandez throws Jake at Fulton. Hernandez goes up top, shoves Fulton down, and hits a top rope splash for the pin at 8:54.

Rating: C. Not a bad power match here though I would question having OVE lose AGAIN, especially with the numbers advantage. The story of them being all messed up with no leader is fine and makes me wonder why they’ll bring in to replace Sami Callihan, but how much of an advantage do you need to beat Hernandez.

Michael Elgin doesn’t understand why there is a tournament when he has proven himself time after time.

Fulton is freaking out and the Crists are ready to come to blows. Crazzy Steve comes in to say he’s ready to fight next week. Joseph P. Ryan comes in to say the word Crazzy is offensive to crazy people.

The announcers preview the rest of the show.

Kylie Rae vs. Tasha Steelz

Steelz is an NWA regular. There’s no handshake to start and Kylie spins out of a wristlock. A headscissors gets Kylie out of a headlock on the mat so Steelz headstands up. It works so well that Kylie does it as well, albeit with a smile. A series of clotheslines sets up the chinlock on Rae so she powers up and drives Steelz into the corner. More clotheslines stagger Steelz but she sends Rae out to the apron for a breather. The Kylie Special gets two but Tasha rolls away from the STF. Steelz’s high crossbody gets two as Josh praises Steelz quite a bit. A springboard bulldog is blocked though and the STF finishes Steelz at 6:56.

Rating: C-. It’s hard not to like Kylie a little bit with the gimmick being so similar to Bayley. That’s something that works well if you have the charisma to build it up. What matters most here though is the rebuilding of the Knockouts division, which is suddenly looking rather deep. It’s certainly looking better than what we had a few months or even years ago.

Rohit Raju is ready to get his big break. He’s tired of being a joke and it’s changing tonight in the tournament. This is an interesting case as Raju on his own it’s too bad. It’s just how far down he’s been for so long. Maybe the lack of the rest of the Hit Squad will help though.

Susie comes up to Kylie in the back for a second introduction. Susie understands that Rae’s last night’s “again” and thinks Rae sounds like a ray of sunshine. Kylie: “I like her.”

Kimber Lee vs. Havok

Kimber screams at her so Havok screams back. Lee: “Nope.” Havok grabs her by the hair but gets chopped in the corner. That’s broken up and Havok hits a sitout powerbomb for two. Some kicks to the head rock Havok and we hit the choking on the ropes. Back from a break with Havok whipping her hard into the corner. That’s reversed into an Octopus in the ropes as Nevaeh comes out to watch. Lee’s Swanton gets two, as does Havok’s spinning side slam. Havok sees Nevaeh and the distraction lets Lee bust out some brass knuckles. A loud scream scares the referee so Kimber can use the knuckles for the pin at 8:47.

Rating: C. Just like in the previous one, I’m interested in how they’re rebuilding the division. That could go a long way and with so many talented people out there, the division could go in a lot of directions. This wasn’t a great match or anything, but the Knockouts are getting more depth than the WWE women’s division has had for a good while now. Granted having one division to two helps a lot.

Video on Kiera Hogan. She’s been learning from her mistakes and is waiting for the perfect opportunity.

It’s time for Locker Room Talk with Ken Shamrock, who doesn’t think much of Johnny Swinger. Shamrock talks about how he’s had a lot of feuds since he’s been been and he’s ready to hurt people. The only thing that matters is getting the World Title, so here’s Elgin to hit him in the head with a chair.

Sami Callihan is used to people trying to follow in his footsteps and that’s all Elgin is doing now. Next week, Sami is ready to take out Elgin in the tournament.

#1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Trey vs. Rohit Raju

They’re both on their own. They fight over arm control to start with neither being able to get much of an advantage. Trey runs him over with a shoulder but an elbow to the face cuts him down. A sitout facebuster into a boot scrap to the face sends Raju outside where he catches Trey with a shot to the face.

Back in and a Steve Austin elbow connects for two as the announcers bicker about Moose again. Raju’s running Downward Spiral gets two more and it’s a snap suplex for the same. Trey fights up for the slugout and hits a running neckbreaker for the double knockdown. A kick to the face gives Trey two and he catches Raju on top with the Cheeky Nandos kick. The 619 connects but Raju knees him out of the air. Not that it matters as Trey small packages him for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C+. That’s the right result but what matters most here is having Raju as a solo act. That might be the key to him the entire time as there was nothing happening with the Hit Squad and everyone knew it. Again, it’s a mentality of trying something different instead of hammering away with the same thing over and over when it doesn’t work. Well done for a change.

Cody Deaner tries not to go insane in self isolation. He’s been training in the woods and trying to have someone to share a beer. Then he wrestled himself and a stuffed animal to make himself feel better.

We go back to the Battle Arts Academy in Canada for the North’s Tag Team Title defense. Ethan Page knows that Josh Alexander wasn’t happy with last week’s opponents so the ring announcer gets to pick this week. We get two more very skinny guys and Alexander isn’t pleased again. Ethan Page gets a bunch of nicknames ala Apollo Creed, though Alexander points out that Creed died in Rocky IV.

After hearing about Page being voted the sex symbol by a fishing magazine, Page superkicks the first schmo (as commentary calls him) out cold. That means Page has to pick him up for the offense, which doesn’t please Page. In other words, it’s a Weekend At Bernie’s match until Page super gorilla presses him into a backbreaker. Northern Assault finishes in a hurry. These have been funny and well done on making something out of nothing.

Rosemary yells at the cards in a bar and talks to her stuffed lion (for Taya) and stuffed bunny (for the Bunny). John E. Bravo comes in to say he misses how Taya smells but Rosemary is the one really obsessed with her. Rosemary doesn’t look convinced.

Flashback Moment of the Week: AJ Styles beats Matt Hardy at Victory Road 2011. They haven’t been airing as much of these things and that’s a good thing.

Chris Bey talks to Johnny Swinger about Willie Mack saying he was the leader of the Mack And Pack Connection.

Post break, Swinger comes up to Mack and says he’s not the weak link of the team. Swinger: “I’m not the Shawn Michaels of the team.” The title match is on for next week.

TNA World Title: Suicide vs. Moose

Moose is defending despite not actually being champion. Suicide grabs a rollup for an early two and an armdrag has Moose on the floor in a hurry. Back from a break with Moose yelling at the referee and getting hit in the face. They head outside with Moose whipping him into the barricade to take over.

Back in and a reverse press slam off the top has suicide in trouble again. As Josh wonders how many former World Champions aren’t pleased with Moose, Suicide gets kicked off the apron in a big crash. Suicide is swung into the barricade and it’s time to start celebrating. After getting back in at nine, Suicide gets knocked right back to the floor.

They switch places though and Suicide hits a namesake dive, followed by the cannonball off the apron. Back in and a headscissors puts Moose down again but he stomps Suicide down in the corner. The referee gets bumped so Suicide strikes away, including a running palm strike. The Code Breaker connects for no count so it’s a sunset flip for two. Back up and a low blow into No Jackhammer Needed retains the title at 16:14.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how smart it was to have Moose need to cheat to beat a video game character but that has never stopped Impact before. Moose won and looked rather villainous in doing so, which I’ll take over a lot of other options. This is a gimmick that could go on for a good while, though the idea of Moose having trouble with a bunch of the older wrestlers who are classified as TNA Originals could get tiresome.

Overall Rating: B-. What got my attention the most around here is a fresh take on a lot of things. They’re bringing in new talents and presenting some fresh concepts, which is one of the best things that could be done. Impact has had such a bad reputation for so long now that it’s nice to see them do something different. I’ll take what I can get at this point and this was a fun, engaging show that made me want to see more. You don’t get that often around here and hopefully it is here to stay.

Results

Hernandez b. Mad Man Fulton – Top rope splash

Kylie Rae b. Tasha Steelz – Smile to the Finish

Kimber Lee b. Havok – Brass knuckles to the head

Trey b. Rohit Raju – Small package

Moose b. Suicide – No Jackhammer Needed

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – May 5, 2020: Marching On Together

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 5, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

We’re finally done with Rebellion and that means it’s time to start getting back to normal shows. I’m not sure what we’re going to be seeing around here but we have a new TNA World Champion, because that company needs some nostalgia instead of an interim Impact World Champion. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a Rebellion recap, which seems to include Kiera Hogan leaving the company after her loss to Kylie Rae. That would be a loss to the division as she was a solid hand.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a limping Sami Callihan for the opening chat. He can see everyone watching at home and knows the fans are cheering for him. After making his own sound effects, Sami says it’s time for the Draw to brighten your day a little bit. He took a heck of a beating at Rebellion but he’s still standing. At Rebellion, he went toe to toe with the World’s Most Dangerous Man and the referee stopped it. He doesn’t want OVE messing with his business anymore but for now, he wants to finish his business with Ken Shamrock.

Cue Ken to say Sami needs to calm down and open his ears. Shamrock talks about how he has made a lot of people tap out over the years but Sami didn’t tap. Sami: “No s***.” Shamrock talks about the people he’s made tap before, including Big Show, Bas Rutten and the Rock. Sami didn’t tap, so they can either go out back or put them behind them and go after the Impact World Title.

Cue Michael Elgin (Sami: “Big Mike getting the same reaction from the crowd he always does.”) to say he doesn’t need all of those weapons that Sami needs. Elgin says he’ll fight either of them but the line starts behind them. Sami says it’s the same thing you always hear from Elgin so the fight is on. Elgin bails and Sami disappears to leave Shamrock alone. A three way feud between these three could be….well a disaster is a real possibility.

Chris Bey is ready to become the new X-Division Champion and make it the Finesse Division Champion.

Willie Mack is a little tired from partying over his title win but he’s ready for Bey.

Preview for the rest of the show.

XXXL vs. OVE

Jake Crist/Mad Man Fulton here, with Dave in the corner. Was there ever a reason why we don’t see the Crists team together more often? Josh to Madison: “Do you ever go to an all you can eat buffet?” Madison: “No. Look at me.” Larry and Fulton shove each other around to start with neither really getting anywhere. Fulton’s shoulder drops Larry but he’s back up with a slam so Romero can come in for the elbow.

Jake comes in and gets slammed down to set up the quickly broken chinlock. Larry slams him down for two more but Dave saves his brother from a double shoulder. Back from a break with Acey getting stomped down in the corner and somehow Fulton manages a Regal Roll. He rolls all the way over to Larry for a right hand to the head and then kicks Romero in the face.

Romero comes back with a spinebuster and the hot tag brings in Larry. Everything breaks down with Larry shrugging off the kicks to the face and backdropping Larry over the top. Back in and a powerbomb/reverse bulldog combination gets two on Larry but Acey Pounces Fulton. Larry is up with the Best Hand In The House for the pin on Jake at 13:02.

Rating: C-. XXXL are like the worse version of the Bouncers from Ring of Honor and that’s not exactly a high compliment. I get the idea and what they’re going for with it but how many THESE GUYS ARE HUGE teams can you have? The match was fine enough and they are pushing someone new with XXXL. That’s a good thing, but I’m not sure how much of a shelf life they have.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Kurt Angle b. Mick Foley at Victory Road 2009.

It’s time for Locker Room Talk with Madison Rayne (who changed clothes since she was shown on screen earlier) and Johnny Swinger. This week’s guest is Havok, who doesn’t seem all that impressed. Madison brings up Havok’s loss at Rebellion and gets glared down hard. Havok reminds her of what happens when people get under her skin so Madison moves on to Nevaeh.

Havok doesn’t know why Nevaeh showed up last week so Madison brings in the next guest: Kimber Lee. That doesn’t sit well with Havok either and Lee saying she’s rising to the spot makes it worse. Swinger thinks that means they both want him so Havok shoves him away. Violence is teased between the women.

Cody Deaner has parked his RV on the side of the road for isolation. He talks to some old LJN action figures while having a beer and then tries to sell merch. You knew someone was going to do this at some point.

Suicide vs. Johnny Swinger

Swinger wants a weapons check and jumps Suicide, only to fail with back and eye rakes. Swinger: “WHOA! EASY SPIDEY!” Suicide avoids a charge to put him outside but gets crotched on top. Choking ensues and Swinger elbows him in the head but misses the falling headbutt. The Swinger Neckbreaker misses and it’s a Codebreaker into the Swanton to give Suicide the pin at 3:41.

Rating: D+. They kept this short and Swinger lost, which are the only two requirements for one of his matches. He’s grown on me quite a bit as of late because they haven’t had him winning important matches or doing anything more than goofy. I don’t need Suicide back but that could be said about a lot of the people this company brings back in.

Ace Austin adds himself to the X-Division Title match because he’s beaten names like Eddie Edwards, Tessa Blanchard and Tommy Dreamer.

Moose doesn’t think much of Michael Elgin declaring himself the real World Champion when Moose has been the one beating all the big names. The reality is that Moose is the real World Champion because Tessa Blanchard is on vacation in Mexico. Josh points out that there is no value to the TNA World Title….by the way how did Moose even get the belt? Enough of that though because there will be a #1 contenders tournament starting next week. Here are the brackets:

Moose

Trey

Sami Callihan

Michael Elgin

Ken Shamrock

Rhino

Mad Man Fulton

Hernandez

Or not actually as Moose pulls himself out of the tournament. He already has the REAL World Title, which Josh again points out that he didn’t deserve. Moose lists off the people he’s beaten up and those wins make him the real champion. That’s enough of this.

Joseph P. Ryan vs. Cousin Jake

Rebellion rematch. Ryan stalls for the first minute but Jake gets the better of a chase and hammers away. A clothesline puts Ryan on the floor and we stall again. Back in and Ryan hits a dropkick, stops to yell at the crowd, and gets knocked right back down. An attempted stall is broken up by a right hand to the face but Ryan snaps him throat first across the top rope.

The neck crank doesn’t last long as Jake is back with a Michinoku Driver. A clothesline into a sitout powerbomb gives Jake two but Ryan is back up with Sweet Tooth Music for the same. Jake throws him down again but Ryan hides behind the referee in the corner. A poke to the eye and a rollup with trunks give Ryan the pin at 8:46.

Rating: D. What does Impact see in having Ryan as a regular wrestler? His entire appeal is the shtick and the answer is to get rid of what made him work? It doesn’t help when you have him going outside to annoy a crowd who isn’t there, which only made a match that didn’t have much value in the first place feel even longer.

Video on Kiera Hogan.

We go to the Don Koloff Arena, the home of the Battle Arts promotion. The North is introduced and they stop to beat up some mannequins on the way to the ring. Page slips on his way in but picks up the mic, saying it’s time to defend the titles. Alexander is asked who he would face in his dream match. Alexander: “KURT ANGLE!” Page: “Kayfabe man. His 90 days aren’t up yet.”

Two rather skinny guys come out, with one of them holding a mask. There is no disrespect meant and the match is on. We don’t actually see the match but rather some rapid fire clips, with the North winning in about 40 seconds show. This was a fun little bit and it was a nice way to keep the North holding the titles in the mess.

Rosemary consults some cards to see what is in store for her future. She gets some message and realizes she needs to speak to the high priestess. Some of the other cards please her as well.

Rohit Raju knows he should be in the #1 contenders tournament.

The tournament starts next week, plus Moose defending against Suicide and Lee vs. Havok. Rayne has changed again, because this is totally happening live and in real time of course.

X-Division Title: Chris Bey vs. Ace Austin vs. Willie Mack

Mack is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Austin grabs the title from the referee so it’s Mack taking over early on, including a double clothesline. Back from the completely necessary break after twenty seconds with Mack’s standing moonsault hitting both challengers at once. Ace and Bey go outside for a meeting, but Ace turns on him after all of a split second.

Back in and Ace works on the champ’s arm but lets go after cutting the fingers with the playing card. Bey takes Ace’s place and hits a pop up hurricanrana to send Mack outside. Ace and Bey slug it out on the floor but Mack takes them both down with a running flip dive to send us to a second break.

Back with Ace snapping off a suplex for two on Bey before kneeing him in the ribs. Ace’s belly to back suplex gets two and he unloads on Bey in the corner for two more. They kick each other down as Mack pulls his way back in and the three way slugout is on. Mack forearms Ace down again and hits some alternating running shots in the corner.

An exploder suplex drops Bey again but Ace breaks up the frog splash. Mack tries a powerbomb out of the corner with Bey coming in to add a Backstabber for two. It’s a Stunner to Bey but Ace hits the Fold on Mack. That’s broken up at two so Ace hits the Fold on Bey with Mack making a VERY last second save (which he might not have made in time). Ace gets knocked off the top though and the Six Star retains the title at 19:05.

Rating: B. This is one of the places where Impact has improved by leaps and bounds over the last few years. Mack was the senior statesman here at 33, meaning you had three young guys out there doing what they could to steal the show. It was the best thing on the show by far and Mack retaining makes sense for the future. Very good main event here, and a positive sign for the company’s future.

Overall Rating: C. This was a little bit of an odd show as the main event was the only match worth seeing but the rest of the show was built around storyline advancement. A tournament is the best thing that can be done in a situation like this, as proven by the fact that WWE, AEW and now Impact, as in the only three major promotions running at the moment, are all in the middle of a tournament. If nothing else it can by them some time until Tessa gets back, and that might need a lot of time. Not a terrible show, but that main event had to bail it out.

Results

XXXL b. OVE – Best Hand In The House to Crist

Suicide b. Johnny Swinger – Swanton

Joseph P. Ryan b. Cousin Jake – Rollup with trunks

Willie Mack b. Chris Bey and Ace Austin – Six Star Frog Splash to Austin




Impact Wrestling – April 21, 2020 (Rebellion Night One): It Wouldn’t Be Impact

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 21, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

It’s the first night of Rebellion and it’s taking place in an empty arena, just like all of the other big shows at this point. I’m not sure what we’re going to see due to how many people might not be available for the show and that could make for an interesting show. The company has done well in recent weeks so hopefully they can keep it up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video talks about how everyone wants to be here and make their mark.

OVE vs. Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/???

It’s mystery partner time and it’s….Crazzy Steve? There’s a name I haven’t thought of in a long time but it’s better than some ECW guy staggering out there. Josh: “How cool is it to see Crazzy Steve back in Impact Wrestling?” Not all that much really as he wasn’t that big of a deal. Dreamer and Jake Crist trade standing switches to start before the former rolls out of a wristlock. Jake takes him down and does a nipup before challenging Dreamer to do the same.

It doesn’t work so Rhino and Steve come in to help him with one, because Dreamer is a legend you see and we need him to do his comedy spots to help make America feel better. Steve and Madman Fulton come in but Steve isn’t THAT crazzy, meaning it’s off to Rhino instead. Some forearms knock Fulton over to the corner for the tag off to Dave, meaning Steve is willing to fight for a change.

We actually hear something about the Menagerie as Fulton chases Steve off and takes Rhino into the corner for shoulders to the ribs. A suplex is escaped though and it’s back to Dreamer to clean house. Everything breaks down (Rayne: “Does anyone in this match follow the rules?” Josh: “Nope.”) but it’s Dreamer getting taken into the wrong corner as things settle right back down.

Dreamer and Jake collide for a double knockdown and it’s back to Rhino vs. Dave. A running shoulder in the corner and a belly to belly gets two on Dave, meaning everything breaks down for real. Fulton throws Jake over the top onto Dreamer but Rhino Gores Dave for the pin at 9:33.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t very good but, as usual, the old guys beat the young ones for the sake of keeping up with tradition. I understand the story of OVE being lost without Sami Callihan, but there was no one else available to beat them but Dreamer, Rhino and whoever they could find? I’m sure Dreamer does a lot of good stuff for the company behind the scenes. I just don’t get why he needs to do so much in front of the scenes.

Josh and Madison run down the card.

Tessa Blanchard and Eddie Edwards aren’t here tonight so we get an interview with Eddie, who is sitting in front of a lot of shoes. It was a hard decision to not come to the show but he couldn’t put his family in that kind of a risk. Elgin is going to brag but he should know deep down what kind of wrestler Eddie is.

Elgin talks about becoming Ring of Honor World Champion but that wasn’t enough. Neither was beating Kenny Omega in New Japan. Now he wants more and wants to be at the top of the list of Impact Wrestling World Champions. Tessa is claiming to be stuck in Mexico but the truth is she’s scared. She was ready for the shallow end but tried to dive into the deep end. Elgin is becoming World Champion.

Rascalz vs. XXXL vs. Fallah Bahh/TJP

Dez and TJP start things off with a technical exchange and it’s TJP taking him to the mat with a headlock. A cross armbreaker is broken up in a hurry so Dez scores with a dropkick. The Octopus cuts off Dez’s tag attempt but Wentz comes in for the save, including a parade of superkicks. Something close to a Last Chancery sends TJP over to the ropes so some strikes put him down again. Bahh makes a save and we take a break.

Back with Larry and Bahh slugging it out and a spinebuster giving Larry two. Acey comes in for a double shoulder to drop Bahh as the big man double teaming continues. Larry grabs the chinlock with TJP making a save, earning himself a big shove from Acey. That lets Bahh come back with a spinning belly to belly and some running shots in the corner.

We take another break and come back again with Larry and Bahh slugging it out again until Bahh hits a Samoan drop. Everything breaks down and the Rascalz start the rapid fire kicks to the big guys. Acey accidentally charges into Larry in the corner but Larry is back up to drop TJP. Acey pounds a bunch of people, including Dez to give Larry two. A low bridge puts Acey on the floor though and it’s time for some superkicks into a springboard cutter on Larry. The Final Flash gives Dez the pin at 14:01.

Rating: C+. As usual, these matches are only going to be so good. They’re limited in what they can put together with six people in there and no personal reasons for them to be fighting. It worked well enough though and it’s nice to see the Rascalz get a win for a change. Nothing that hasn’t been done before but it was good enough.

We get a message from the North, who aren’t worried about being in Canada because it’s like an extended vacation in the best country in the world. They’re going to find Canadian challengers and defend these titles as only they can.

Rich Swann is here to support Willie Mack’s shot at the X-Division Title. Swann says don’t worry about the Tag Team Titles because Mack has worked long and hard to get here. Go get the title.

We recap the X-Division Title match. With Swann injured, Mack went after the X-Division Title and became #1 contender. Champion Ace Austin had Swann beaten up but he’s here anyway as Mack gets his title shot.

X-Division Title: Willie Mack vs. Ace Austin

Mack is challenging and Austin takes his time adjusting his gear to start. The stall continues with Austin bailing to the floor a few times, followed by a right hand to send him outside again. We get started properly with Austin grabbing a rollup and bailing again, only to have Mack follow him this time. Austin gets sent into the barricade but avoids the reverse Cannonball back inside.

That means Mack gets tied up in the Tree of Woe for some stomping to the ribs but Mack reverses a high crossbody into a Samoan drop. The standing moonsault connects and Mack pounds away even more as the aggression is starting to come out. Austin knees him in the face for two as things slow down a bit. Trouble in Paradise sends Mack into the corner but a springboard hurricanrana is countered with a sitout powerbomb.

One heck of a forearm puts Austin down as Josh and Madison bicker again, as only a married couple can. Now the reverse Cannonball connects but the Stunner is countered. The Fold gives Austin two and it’s his turn to be ticked off. Another Fold is countered into a pop up cutter for another near fall and Josh can’t believe it.

Mack goes up for the Six Star but Austin goes to the corner….so it’s a Coast to Coast to show off even more. Now the Six Star misses so Ace goes up and crotches Mack for trying to pull him down. Mack hits something like a Stunner on the top (that didn’t really work) to send Austin flying, setting up the Six Star for the pin and the title at 13:30.

Rating: B-. I like both of these guys so this was a fun one. They needed to switch the title as Mack has been built up for so long now that he had to win something eventually. Austin is going to be fine and it wouldn’t shock me to see him move towards the World Title scene. He was a great X Division Champion and it should be a bright future for him.

Swann comes out to celebrate with Mack.

Post match, Mack makes sure that this is cool with Swann, who insists that everything is ok. Johnny Swinger comes in to say that the Mack N Pack Connection will live on in the fans’ hearts forever. He could use a title shot, but for now they can go hunt for rats. Swann and Mack don’t look impressed as Swinger goes to get the Cadillac.

We recap Kylie Rae vs. Kiera Hogan. Kylie is happy to be here and Kiera isn’t happy with that.

Kylie Rae vs. Kiera Hogan

Kylie makes sure to fold her shirt properly before throwing it outside. Kiera isn’t pleased and gets taken down into a quick STF (Smile to the Finish) attempt. That means a trip to the rope as commentary talks about Kiera and the smoke. Kylie pulls her face first into the middle turnbuckle and stomps away on Kiera’s back. The Kylie Special is broken up and Kiera plants her down for two. A kick to the back gets two more and we take a break.

Back with Kylie missing a charge into the corner as we get a Taylor Wilde reference. Kiera’s chinlock doesn’t last long so she goes with some running forearms instead. Kylie gets in a superkick and an exchange of superkicks put them both down. They slug it out from their knees with Kylie getting the better of it and another superkick gives Kylie two. Kiera kicks her in the head for two more but Kylie gets in a whip to the corner. Now the Cannonball can connect for two so Kiera is back up and pounding away. That just earns her the Smile to the Finish for the tap at 9:25.

Rating: C. This was Kylie’s big time debut and it was fine enough for what it was. Kylie is someone who could be a more serious happy Bayley character and having her beat a low level bully like Kiera was a good start. It was the first of many steps though and that’s a fine way to get going.

Commentary runs down next week’s card.

We recap Sami Callihan vs. Ken Shamrock. Various videos and graphics labeled ICU had been popped up, eventually being revealed as being Sami’s doing. Sami is now a hacker and says he is the real World’s Most Dangerous Man, setting up a feud with Shamrock. A fireball to Shamrock’s face didn’t hurt either.

Ken Shamrock vs. Sami Callihan

Unsanctioned, meaning anything goes. The fight starts on the floor with Sami hitting a suplex to take over early on. Shamrock is whipped into the barricade but it just seems to wake him up. That means a posting for Sami and Shamrock through him through the barricade. Shamrock goes to the stage for a running dive (must have been all of three feet) to drop Callihan again.

They go to the back and we take a break, meaning it’s cinematic time. Sami gets in a cheap shot with a trashcan lid but a low blow cuts him down. Shamrock hammers away with rights and lefts but here’s OVE to jump him from behind. They hold Shamrock for Sami….who hits the three of them with a pipe. We get some the Good, the Bad and the Ugly style music as they head outside to finish this. Sami sends him into a production truck and grabs a sleeper, only to get thrown down. The ankle lock knocks Sami out at 11:02.

Rating: D+. It started out well and then came down hard in a bad way. At the end of the day, it was a match designed to hide Shamrock’s weaknesses and the camera work was the usually weird stuff. Then you have Sami turn on OVE, which should be a big deal. That’s all well and good, but then he loses like that? For the life of me I don’t get why you would go with Shamrock here, especially after Sami had the big new character. Then again, it wouldn’t be Impact without some head scratching results.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good and the title change helped, but going with Dreamer, Rhino and Shamrock getting wins makes my head hurt. You have young names who could do something around here but they lose to the old guys. Shamrock might be one thing, but Rhino and Dreamer? In 2020? Come on already. Not a bad show at all, though it had two bad spots holding it back.

Results

Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/Crazzy Steve b. OVE – Gore to Dave

Rascalz b. XXXL and TJP/Fallah Bahh – Final Flash to Larry

Willie Mack b. Ace Austin – Six Star Frog Splash

Kylie Rae b. Kiera Hogan – Smile to the Finish

Ken Shamrock b. Sami Callihan – Ankle lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – April 14, 2020: When Old Guys Still Have It

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 14, 2020
Location: Coca Cola Roxy, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

It’s the (original) go home show for Rebellion, which has been rescheduled but at least is still airing in some form. I’m not sure what the card is going to consist of but some pay per view material is better than none. Hopefully they don’t set up a bunch of stuff they can’t deliver (not their fault if they can’t) but the show has been pretty good lately so maybe it can continue here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Johnny Swinger vs. Mike Jackson

Yeah this was the obvious payoff to the Young Buck M. Jackson reference from last week. Jackson is 70 and hasn’t wrestled on national television since 1991. Before the match, Jackson says he likes this place, but not what Swinger does to the young guys. He’s an old buck and it’s time to give Swinger a beating. An early Swinger Neckbreaker attempt is blocked and Jackson gets two off a rollup. A headscissors puts Swinger on the floor and there’s a suicide dive because of course Jackson can do that.

Back in and Jackson works on the arm, setting up Old School, with Jackson walking all the way around all four ropes. Commentary has finally caught up and announces Rebellion as a two night event over the next two weeks so at least things should be better in that regard. Swinger elbows him down for two but Jackson gets in a neckbreaker. The straps come down and Jackson hammers away in the corner, only to get rolled up with feet on the ropes for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: C+. Normally I would make fun of something like this with Jackson showing up the people on the roster, but there are a few differences here. First of all, it’s Johnny Swinger, who is a comedy guy in his forties. Second, a 70 year old man just did a suicide dive and walked around the top ropes for Old School. I don’t think I’m allowed to complain about this.

Ace Austin doesn’t like Willie Mack’s odds in their X-Division Title match. He doesn’t like being called a scumbag either because Mack isn’t worried about his best friend, but Mack isn’t a scumbag? Cue Trey to say Austin is indeed a scumbag. Ace: “How’s your mom?” The brawl is on in a hurry.

Post break, Jackson got a bunch of praise from the locker room. Fair enough.

Ken Shamrock is told to not get physical during the contract signing.

We run down the rest of the card.

TJP/Fallah Bahh vs. Rascalz vs. XXXL vs. Reno Scum

One fall to a finish. Acey clotheslines Thornstowe down to start and brings in Larry for a running knee in the corner. It’s off to Wentz, who gets thrown into the Scum corner and suplexed to send us to a break. Back with Wentz kicking Legend in the head but getting cut off by Thornstowe. The Pit Stop has Wentz in more trouble and a knee to the face gets two.

Wentz dives over for the hot tag to Dez though and the pace picks up, including a catapult to send Thornstowe into a superkick. Wentz comes back in with a springboard cutter to Thornstowe as everything breaks down. XXXL crushes Legend before hitting stereo suicide dives for the big crashes. Back in and a Samoan drop into a Swanton gives TJP the pin on Thornstowe at 11:14.

Rating: C. You can only get so much out of these things and they did as well as they could have. It wasn’t anything that hasn’t been done better before but at least they had a surprise winner and should set up another Tag Team Title match with the North. TJP and Bahh work well as an oddball team and that’s all they need to do.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Tessa Blanchard beats Gail Kim at Rebellion 2019.

Rohit Raju begs Gama Singh to let him out of a match and gets slapped in the face for his efforts.

Video on Cody Deaner beating Joey Ryan last week.

Ryan doesn’t like that video airing. He demands the production team to play the tape he aired.

The video shows Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes in a hot tub. They’re sorry about not being there but Katie doesn’t want to be around the Deaners or the fans. You can imagine what comes next.

Rohit Raju vs. Hernandez

Rayne gets annoyed at Josh and leaves commentary as Hernandez pulls Raju out of the air. The Pounce into the Boarder Toss is good for the pin on Raju at 1:20. Note that commentary made it clear that Raju has a big match coming up at Rebellion, right before he got squashed.

Madison Rayne and Johnny Swinger are in the back for Locker Room Talk. Their guest this week is Kylie Rae, who is still happy to be here. Swinger shows off his biceps to hit on her but Kylie is too excited to be ready to face Kiera Hogan at Rebellion. Madison tries to get Rae to be mean about Hogan but it’s not coming. Kiera comes in and says she’s going to humiliate Kylie at Rebellion. Kylie doesn’t want to be pushed this far, but Kiera isn’t that nice!

We get clips of Eddie Edwards vs. Michael Elgin in a match in Qatar. Brian Cage interfered to cost Eddie the match and the title.

Ace Austin vs. Trey

Non-title. They take turns missing flips and dives to start until Trey hits a running basement dropkick to put Ace on the floor. Trey hits a dive to take Austin down again but Ace drops him face first onto the apron. Back in and Ace forearms away as Josh and Madison continue their married bickering on commentary (and actually making it somewhat adorable).

A seated abdominal stretch keeps Trey in trouble but he fights up with a 619 out of the corner. The missile dropkick puts Ace down again but he’s right back up with a springboard kick to the face. Trey is back up, only to miss something off the top and get rolled up with tights to give Ace the pin at 6:18.

Rating: C+. They packed a lot into this one and that’s one of the best things that you can have in a match like this. They didn’t have time to do much here but they have a lot of chemistry, even if Trey never actually beats him. I could go for Ace being champion for a good while to come as he’s held the title for a long time already, even though it doesn’t feel like it. That’s a good sign, as Austin could have a heck of a future at this rate. Side note: Trey makes the second person in the four way at Rebellion to lose in back to back matches. At least try to make it seem important.

Willie Mack is to do some magic of his own and make the title disappear from Austin’s shoulder.

Taya vs. Tenille Dashwood

John E. Bravo is here with Taya. Tenille wastes no time to start with a quick Russian legsweep sending Taya outside. A Bravo distraction lets Taya hammer away and get two off a superplex. We take a break and come back with Taya choking away using various objects. Taya’s running hip attack in the corner, plus some double knees, get two and we hit the half crab.

That doesn’t last long so Taya knees her in the chest and poses on the ropes while choking away. Taya charges into an elbow in the corner though and a running knee to the face sends Taya into another corner. The Taste of Tenille gets two but Taya spears her down for the same. Back from another break with the Road to Valhalla getting two as Tenille grabs the rope. Taya is stunned so she grabs a chair, allowing Tenille to sunset flip her for the pin at 16:18.

Rating: C+. Dashwood is an interesting case as she seems like she should be a huge star but it never comes together. It’s not like this is some huge upset, but it does feel a little strange that Taya would lose. She is coming up on a title match at Rebellion and loses here? I guess it fits in with the theme of the night.

Post match Taya destroys her with a trashcan and a pile of chairs, with even Madison saying this is too much to watch. Jordynne Grace runs in for the save but Tenille is banged up pretty badly.

Tommy Dreamer and Rhino are ready to beat up OVE with the help of their mystery partner.

Rebellion rundown.

Video on Sami Callihan being revealed as the ICU hacker and attacking Ken Shamrock with a fireball.

It’s time for the contract signing between Sami Callihan and Ken Shamrock. Sami tells Josh Matthews to get out and throws his feet on the table. He laughs at the idea of Shamrock not being able to do anything at the moment because he knows how much Shamrock wants to jump the table right now. Sami knows what this match is going to mean for Shamrock, who angrily signs the contract. That doesn’t please Sami, who talks about how smashing Eddie Edwards with the baseball bat was the best thing that ever happened to Sami.

Now it’s time to get serious as brings up Shamrock’s family. That’s too far so Shamrock goes for him, only to have Sami press a button to escape. A bunch of people with ICU masks appear but leave, with Shamrock giving chase. He goes to the parking lot and gets in a car, which is being driven by an ICU guy. Chaos ensues as there are even more of them around the car to end the show. I actually want to see the match so they’re doing something right.

Overall Rating: B-. This place is on a roll as they head into the pay per view but I’m a little bit scared at what is going to happen when they shift more towards a big wrestling focused show. Usually that is where they shine, but lately their television has been better so there is no guarantee that they can pull off both. Either way, I liked this show well enough, even if everything is about to change in a big way. Good show to go out of the norm on at least.

Results

Johnny Swinger b. Mike Jackson – Rollup with feet on the ropes

TJP/Fallah Bahh b. Reno Scum, the Rascalz and XXXL – Swanton Bomb to Thornstowe

Hernandez b. Rohit Raju – Boarder Toss

Ace Austin b. Trey – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Tenille Dashwood b. Taya – Sunset flip

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – March 17, 2020: An Untapped Idea

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 17, 2020
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re almost to the last taping cycle from this company for a good while. Last week’s show ended with the announcement that Tessa Blanchard would defend the World Title against both Michael Elgin and Eddie Edwards at Rebellion. That’s kind of a problem now as there is likely no Rebellion, meaning this could be a rather interesting show if they didn’t edit things. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at the end of last week’s show, with Blanchard agreeing to the triple threat match.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: The North vs. TJP/Fallah Bahh

TJP and Bahh are challenging after winning some singles matches and a non-title match to set this up. The brawl is on before the referee can lower the titles, meaning the champions try to hit Bahh in the head for some reason. Alexander gets hit with Poetry In Motion and a belly to belly from Bahh. TJP gets caught in the wrong corner though and a knee drop sets up the chinlock.

The North go with the delayed vertical suplex and pass TJP back and forth, making me wonder if it was either them or Santana/Ortiz who did that first. TJP reverses into a rollup anyway though and sends the champs together. The double chickenwing gutbuster allows Bahh to get the tag and house is quickly cleaned. Everyone crashes out to the floor and we take a break. Back with TJP diving over for another hot tag to Bahh so everyone can be knocked down again.

Bahh no sells Alexander’s German suplex and hits a clothesline before going down as well. The double Neutralizer gives Alexander two but Bahh is back up with a double clothesline. TJP comes back in with the kneebar to Page and switches into the STF. The referee is with Alexander as Page taps so Bahh knocks Alexander to the floor and hits a suicide dive. Back in and TJP sends the champs into each other but the Detonation kick is countered into the toss spinebuster (dubbed the Northern Assault) to retain the titles at 19:04.

Rating: B. The North are as good of a team as this company has had since LAX and that’s some high praise. They’re going to set the record for the longest Tag Team Title reign in company history and that’s something they’ve earned. I could go for a rematch here and odds are we’re going to see one, though I’m not sure we’ll see a title change.

Video Team Edwards vs. Team Elgin at Lockdown, with a “Lockdown is Postponed” graphic. Shame as that could have been interesting. Eddie’s team included himself, Tommy Dreamer, Daga and Tessa Blanchard.

And now, Real Housewives of Slam Town. Taya Valkyrie and her dog are having drinks with her friends when Rosemary comes in. She is ordered to change out of her regular shirt and switches into more normal (for this crowd) looking attire. Drinking ensues and they go to the Alabama Slamtown club, where Rosemary sucks out one of Taya’s friend’s (Holly) soul. Holly is a little loopy after. This was rather fun in a wacky opposite way.

Josh and Callis talk about the recent Realityislost hacks and have guards at the production truck. They also hype up Lockdown, which is looking like a good show.

Chris Bey vs. Damian Drake

This is Bey’s debut. Bey shoulders him down to start and runs the ropes a bit before taking out the leg. A running kick to the head sets up the running flip dive to the floor as it’s all Bey so far. Back in and Bey kicks him in the head, setting up a rolling neckbreaker. Drake hits a right hand, only to get sent into the middle buckle. A jumping knee to the head sets up the Beymasser (springboard Fameasser) finishes Drake at 3:51.

Rating: C. Bey looked good here as this was a pure showcase match for him. He’s fast and smooth and that’s something that could get him rather far around here. I was excited to see him signed as he’s impressed me every time I’ve seen him so far and this was no exception as he looked polished.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Ken Shamrock wins the World Title on the first show.

Alisha Edwards gets a spot on Jordynne Grace’s Lethal Lockdown team and sings a song about it.

Tenille Dashwood video.

Chase Stevens is proud to be back for One Night Only when Moose interrupts and calls him Brett Michaels. Moose mocks him for never being a star so Chase calls him out for never winning a title here. A fight breaks out and Moose gets knocked down.

It’s time for the Gut Check finals and Shogun Jackson Stone wins. Good for him.

Tessa Blanchard is ready to face anyone because she’s a different woman. She’ll face Elgin and Edwards at Rebellion because she’s a fighting champion.

Cancel Culture vs. Deaners

That would be Rob Van Dam and Joey Ryan in glasses and a turtleneck. Ryan introduces the team as three people with extraordinary gifts: Rob’s athleticism, Katie’s curves and Ryan’s…..it. Rob makes fun of the Deaners for drinking before the match because perish the thought of someone wrestling under the influence. Katie is in a big coat and Ryan’s turtleneck comes off to reveal a regular collared shirt.

Cody stomps Joey down in the corner to start until a jawbreaker gets him out of trouble. Van Dam comes in to kick Cody to the floor but won’t let the fans see Rolling Thunder. It’s back to Ryan to tease making Cody touch it but instead lets Cody go, meaning it’s off to Jake. Everything breaks down and Joey superkicks Jake down, setting up the Five Star for the pin at 4:28.

Rating: D. I’m not sure on this. Cancel Culture might have some potential as they’re mocking….something, but I wasn’t big on the story in the first place. That being said, anything that gets us away from the usual Ryan shtick is a good thing so I’ll certainly take what I can get out of this.

Ken Shamrock has an announcement for tonight but won’t say what it is.

Willie Mack runs into Ace Austin, who talks about how much Mack has impressed him. Ace wants them to win the Tag Team Titles together but Mack says no because Rich Swann is his partner. He’ll go for some gold though because he’s in a #1 contenders match for the X-Division Title next week.

Kiera Hogan vs. Lacey Ryan

Ryan impressed last week so hopefully it wasn’t a one off. Kiera jumps her from behind to start and grabs a hurricanrana, only to get muscled over with a German suplex. A few shots to the back put Lacey down in the corner and a running basement dropkick gets two. The bodyscissors goes on until Lacey muscles her up and hits some clotheslines. A slingshot elbow sets up something like a belly to back GTS for no cover. Instead Kiera is back with a kick to the head and the fisherman’s neckbreaker finishes Ryan at 5:29.

Rating: C-. It was nice while it lasted but they didn’t get a ton of time. Ryan did look good again but there is only so much that she can do when she is losing in less than six minutes. If they’re not going to keep her around or push her, there is no reason for her to beat Hogan so the booking makes sense. Not bad though, and Ryan could be a player in the future.

James Mitchell sends Su Yung a letter, ordering her to face Havok in the Undead Realm next week.

Michael Elgin picks Taya Valkyrie and the North for his Lethal Lockdown team.

Jake Crist vs. Daga

Jake shouts OVE a lot to start before they go into the battle over arm control. That’s broken up as Josh makes mention of Rebellion, which is not listed as canceled. I’m not sure how likely that one is but points for false hope. Daga’s crucifix gets two and he kicks away, only to have Jake’s kicks miss. Jake heads outside and sweeps Daga’s leg to send him onto the apron. That means a suicide dive into a DDT to plant Daga and we take a break.

Back with Jake grabbing the reverse Rings of Saturn, sending Daga over to the ropes. A double clothesline puts both of them down and it’s Daga up first with the quick kicks. Daga suplexes him into a powerbomb for two but Jake kicks him in the face for the same. Jake catches a diving Daga in a cutter for two, only to have Daga kick him back. The double underhook gutbuster finishes Jake at 12:23.

Rating: C+. Daga has grown on me quite a bit lately as he’s rather smooth in the ring and can do a lot of different things. I can see why people seem so high on him and why they would want to push him. Nice match here too as Jake gets to show off the talent that he absolutely has.

Security may have caught the Realityislost hacker but it’s really ordained minister Ryan Cage. He’s just looking for his brother. Ok then.

TNA show video.

Here’s Ken Shamrock for his big announcement. Ken loves being here with all of the talented wrestlers and soaks in some WELCOME BACK chants. He doesn’t actually know what the announcement is, but Josh Matthews does: he’s going into the Hall of Fame. We get his career highlight video, complete with WWF footage…..and then the Realityislost video hits.

A man in black shows up in the ring and fireballs Shamrock before taking off his hood to reveal himself as Sami Callihan. Nice callback to what could have been an awesome NXT gimmick there and I could go for more of that as it’s an untapped idea. Medics help Shamrock to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The opener and closing angle were both good and the middle part was fine enough so we’ll call this a pretty good show. It’s a shame that Lockdown isn’t happening as they made me want to see that show in only a handful of vignettes. They head to Atlanta next week and I’m not sure what they have after that, but this was a good show in the meantime.

Results

The North b. TJP/Fallah Bahh – Northern Assault to TJP

Chris Bey b. Damian Drake – Beymesser

Cancel Culture b. Deaners – Five Star Frog Splash to Jake

Kiera Hogan b. Lacey Ryan – Fisherman’s neckbreaker

Daga b. Jake Crist – Double underhook gutbuster

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XIII (2015 Redo): You Can See It Coming

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XIII
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

The advertised main event this year is the Undertaker challenging Sid for the WWF World Title. This isn’t the biggest match in the world but then again this isn’t the biggest Wrestlemania in the world. That’s the underlying problem with this show: it feels like any other show instead of the biggest night of the year. This was a strange period where Wrestlemania wasn’t being treated as the company’s grand showcase but that would change soon enough. Let’s get to it.

Free For All: Billy Gunn vs. Flash Funk

Funk is better known as 2 Cold Scorpio and is a very skilled high flier. Billy is on his own now and isn’t all that interesting as a solo cowboy. Gunn starts fast but Funk flips out of a backdrop and scores with a superkick. A bad looking belly to back superplex drops Funk again and a clothesline gets a very sloppy two.

The announcers ignore the match to talk about Austin vs. Hart and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Gunn misses a top rope legdrop, allowing Funk to hit a spinwheel kick for two. Funk gets the same off a top rope victory roll but his moonsault hits knees. Billy comes back with a tornado DDT for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: D+. This just wasn’t very good. Gunn was such a lame character on his own and it would only get worse soon after this as he would become Rockabilly for several months. Funk was at least entertaining with his high flying even though his career in the WWF never went anywhere. Boring match.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania but this isn’t quite the same thing. That’s very true as this one wasn’t even a sellout. We hear about the spirit of rebellion in the air and Austin vs. Bret is discussed after the main event.

Godwinns vs. New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers

This is a four team elimination match with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot the next night on Monday Night Raw. The Blackjacks are Bradshaw and Barry Windham, Furnas and LaFon are a Canadian team who aren’t the most interesting guys in the world and the Headbangers are….different. They wear skirts and slam into each other in what is considered dancing. Before the match the Blackjacks say they’re riding again (the original team hadn’t been around for about twenty years. Of note, Windham is the son of Blackjack Mulligan and Bradshaw is the nephew of Blackjack Lanza) in a quick interview.

It’s a huge brawl to start as you would expect until it’s Henry vs. Bradshaw. The Godwinn get the better of it but Thrasher is quickly in, only to get planted with a pumphandle slam. Phineas comes in to beat on Thrasher even more before he tags out to Mosh, giving us Headbanger vs. Headbanger.

That goes nowhere so it’s off to Windham vs. Furnas (an incredible powerhouse) with the latter pulling off a hurricanrana, only to get caught in a powerslam for no cover. Bradshaw comes in and falls to the floor with Furnas but Bradshaw shoves the referee down for the DQ and an elimination. Furnas and LaFon are counted out as well, meaning it’s down to the Godwinns vs. the Headbangers.

Phineas works over throws Thrasher around and gets two off a delayed vertical suplex. It’s back to Henry who is sent into the buckle, followed by an awkward exchange where Thrasher seemed to forget to raise his boot in the corner. Phineas comes in to spit in Thrasher’s face (which Vince says Phineas does to farm animals, much to Lawler’s confusion) but it’s quickly off to Mosh vs. Henry with the big man scoring with a Cactus Clothesline.

Mosh dives off the apron to take Henry down and this just keeps going. Commenting on the Headbangers’ attire, Lawler asks if Vince has any White Zombie CDs. Vince: “White……Zombie?” Back in and Thrasher misses a moonsault, allowing the tag to Phineas for some house cleaning. Thrasher breaks up the Slop Drop and Mosh hits the Stage Dive (top rope seated senton) for the pin and the title shot at 10:39.

Rating: D. The wrestling was sloppy, the teams had no issues coming in and the double elimination felt really cheap. This was one of the worst possible ideas for an opening match as it started bad and never got any better. Just not a very good match as it went longer than it needed to and didn’t change the fact that this division is still lacking.

In Your House XIV ad.

Brian Pillman and Sunny tell us to CALL THE HOTLINE!

Intercontinental Title: The Sultan vs. Rocky Maivia

Honky Tonk Man is out on commentary in his quest for a new protege. Rocky is defending (after beating Hunter Hearst Helmsley to win the title a little over a month ago in a big upset) and Sultan is just a Middle Eastern monster played by the future Rikishi and managed by Bob Backlund and the Iron Sheik. Rocky starts fast with some right hands and a dropkick to send Sultan out to the floor.

Sultan throws him into the post to take over as the crowd is noticeably not interested. Back in and a hard clothesline gets two on the champ and we’re in the nerve hold. Oh sweet goodness not this again. Honky Tonk says he’d have already won with the Shake Rattle and Roll and be in the back combing his hair. Sultan’s top rope headbutt gets two and it’s time for a chinlock.

The fans are rightfully bored and restless as this hold continues. Rocky makes his comeback with some open handed punches and a belly to belly for two as the fans still don’t seem interested. The high cross body (Rocky’s finisher) connects but Sheik has the referee. A great looking superkick (he always had a good one) takes the champ down and a piledriver gets two. Rocky comes right back with a rollup for the pin to retain at 9:43.

Rating: D-. This one was less bad and much more dull with the chinlock in the middle killing anything they could have gotten out of it. Rocky would of course get way better but he didn’t have a character or anywhere near the charisma that he would have in the future. That leaves you with a dull match against a one note challenger which isn’t something you want to do after a lame opener.

Post match Sultan, Sheik and Backlund destroy Rocky but his dad Rocky Johnson comes in for the save and house is cleaned.

Ken Shamrock, the former UFC Champion and the guest referee for the submission match, promises to not be intimidated.

Dok Hendrix (better known as Michael P.S. Hayes and with a very loud echo for some reason) asks Helmsley about his relationship with newcomer Chyna. Helmsley says Hendrix doesn’t need to know about it and tonight he’s taking Goldust out straight up. Marlena better be watching out too.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Helmsley has taken a major step up in the last year as he’s a lot more serious though still far away from what he would become. This started a few months ago when Helmsley made a pass at Marlena. Goldust went after Helmsley but Chyna debuted and attacked Marlena to continue the feud. Goldust is now good but still a bit out there as he crouches down and stares at Hunter before exploding with right hands. He makes sure to spit down at Chyna who as usual doesn’t flinch.

Helmsley gets clotheslined out to the floor as Lawler accuses Vince of wearing a toupee. More right hands are followed by a ram into the post and this is one sided so far. Hunter’s facebuster only gives him a temporary reprieve as Goldust scores with a nice powerslam. With all the momentum, Goldust goes up top but gets thrown down onto the floor in a huge crash to completely change momentum. Things slow way down as they should when the villain is in control and Goldust’s clothes are partially removed for the second year in a row.

Hunter puts on an abdominal stretch to slow things down even more as Marlena puffs on a cigar. Off to a chinlock with Helmsley’s arm not actually making contact with Goldust’s throat. A suplex gets two on Goldust and a DDT gets the same. Back up and Goldust’s comeback is stopped as they ram heads to make the match drag again. Goldust loads up the Curtain Call (reverse suplex slam) but Chyna goes after Marlena, allowing the Pedigree to put Goldust away at 13:17.

Rating: D+. I’ve never liked this match or feud but I guess it’s an improvement as they had a longer and worse match at the Royal Rumble. These two fought each other for the first half of 1997 and it never took off. Helmsley just wasn’t entertaining at this point as he had such a slow paced offense and Goldust wasn’t really the kind of person who was going to be able to help him to a new level here. It’s not a horrible match but it’s really boring, especially after an awful first hour.

Marc Mero and Sable pitch Wrestlemania shirts. Well ok it’s mainly Sable but Mero is there too.

Shawn Michaels can’t figure out AOL.

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/Vader vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

All villains here. Hart and Bulldog are defending and Mankind and Vader have Paul Bearer in their corner after Bearer turned on Undertaker at Summerslam 1996. The champs have been having issues for months and Owen recently said he was smarter than Bulldog, who is also European Champion, having beaten Owen in a tournament final to become the inaugural champion.

Vader powers Owen into the corner to start and pummels him with right hands. A splash misses but Owen tries a hurricanrana and is easily powerbombed down. Heaven help this team if he’s the smarter one. Everything breaks down and Bulldog throws the challenger around before staying in to headbutt Mankind. Bulldog suplexes both of them in an awesome power display (he was always great at those) and we hit the chinlock on Mankind.

They head outside with Vader nailing Bulldog in the back of the head with the urn to take over. Now it’s Vader’s turn for a middle rope splash, followed by a running knee to the head from Mankind. Vader dives into a powerslam (a very common spot for him) and the tag brings in Owen, who the fans don’t cheer because he’s a heel. Hart avoids a sitdown splash and cross bodies Vader, only to run into a heavy clothesline to give the challengers control again. Owen gets beaten down in front of his parents in the front row and Lawler has a ball with his jokes.

Mankind blocks a splash with his knees as the announcers discuss the history of the WWF in this building, including a Wrestling Classic reference. A nice spinwheel kick puts Vader down to no response but he breaks up Owen’s tag attempt. Mankind follows Owen to the floor but charges into a belly to belly. The hot tag finally brings in Bulldog to clean house, even knocking Vader’s mask off. The powerslam is countered by the Mandible Claw though and they fall outside for the double countout at 16:04.

Rating: C-. That’s the best match of the night by far and it’s really more long than good. Mankind and Vader probably should have taken the titles here, even if it was just for a quick title reign before Owen and Bulldog got them back. They had held the titles for months now and it was time to freshen the division up a bit.

Mankind won’t let go of the hold for a bit but the challengers eventually leave, far too happy about a double countout draw.

We get a long recap of Hart vs. Austin. This is all about Austin having no respect for anything Bret Hart has done in the WWF and letting his venom flow through the company. Austin has been winning the mental game too as Bret has started completely snapping, going on hateful tirades about how everyone has screwed him over and how it’s everyone else that has changed. Bret’s entire legacy rides on him being able to defeat Steve Austin and regain the fans’ respect in this one match.

This is one of the greatest stories ever told in wrestling as the details (costing Bret the title, the Royal Rumble etc) are all secondary to the underlying theme: Bret being unable to hold on to the past and not accepting this new reality. Austin embodied the rebellious nature and it made for a perfect dynamic with the traditionalist Bret. As great as the stories were, the matches were even better and made the feud one of the best ever.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Submission match with Ken Shamrock refereeing. Austin has a famous entrance as a wall of glass saying AUSTIN 3:16 breaks and he walks through the broken pieces. The fans are split here but it seems to be more pro-Bret coming in. They slug it out to start and are on the floor very quickly. Austin is sent face first into the post but he crotches Bret across the barricade and clotheslines him into the crowd.

Bret gets whipped into some hockey boards but he fights back and they head deeper into the fans. A backdrop gets Bret out of a piledriver as you can barely see anything at the moment. Back to ringside with Bret in control and the fans completely into something for the first time all night. Austin reverses a whip to send Bret into the steps but Hart grabs a swinging neckbreaker to get a breather back inside.

Vince is already treating Bret like the heel on commentary, wondering what kind of excuse Bret will have if he loses. It’s time to work on Austin’s eternally damaged knee with a leg snap and some cannonballs off the ropes. He misses another cannonball though and Austin grabs the Stunner out of nowhere. No covers though so Bret gets up and kicks the knee out again.

The Figure Four around the post has Austin screaming but he doesn’t give up. Lawler: “Bret can twist that leg until it looks like the Chicago White Sox’s Robin Ventura but Austin won’t submit.” Bret grabs a chair but can’t Pillmanize the leg, allowing Austin to get in a great chair shot to knock Hart off the top. The fans are losing it for Austin here and you can see the future right in front of your eyes.

Austin’s middle rope elbow, complete with two middle fingers, has Bret in even more trouble. JR is on fire here as he talks about how this is all about respect and emotion instead of covering a bald spot (shot at Hogan) or your reputation. Unfortunately Vince is there to bring it back down to dull, unemotional commentary that sounds like a high school chemistry teacher trying to be funny.

Austin goes for a submission by laying on his back, wrapping his leg around Bret’s head and pulling back on his arm (it’s hard to put into words) before going for a standard Boston crab, only to have Hart make it to the ropes. Austin can’t get a Sharpshooter on Bret (Lawler: “Wouldn’t that be great? Seeing Bret submit to the Sharpshooter?” Vince: “Hey, it could happen.”) so he sends him outside instead. A hard whip sends Austin into the barricade, wiping out a bunch of commentators and busting him open.

Bret sends him into other metal objects and sweet goodness Austin is spewing blood. Hart pounds away on the cut and it’s time for the Five Moves of Doom. That’s enough wrestling though and Bret starts driving the chair into Austin’s bad knee. JR again goes into his full on excitement mode before Bret hammers away in the corner. Austin isn’t interested in wrestling either and kicks Bret low. The fans are right back into this and Austin is fired up. He stomps one heck of a mudhole in the corner, flips Bret off, and stomps him again.

A nice superplex plants Bret again and Austin chokes him with an electrical cord, only to have Bret grab the bell to knock Austin out. That’s a very nice callback to Wrestlemania VIII where Piper wouldn’t give into the demons but Bret easily did. The Sharpshooter goes on and the blood is flowing out of Austin’s head in one of the most famous shots in wrestling (As Austin would later say on his podcast: “That’s an image that sold a lot of t-shirts.”). A loud Austin chant starts up and he powers out of the hold as the blood drips down between his teeth but Bret gets it back on and Austin passes out to end the match at 22:03.

Rating: A+. Good grief this match is amazing. This is the match that turned Austin into the biggest star of all time and the moment where the WWF had the Monday Night Wars won. It would take time, but Austin was clearly going to be the hottest thing ever and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.

That’s the key to the whole match and a great piece of symbolism: Bret could not stop Austin and only slowed him down. No matter what Bret did, he couldn’t make Austin quit, even after he gave in to the dark side. This is on the short list for the greatest match of all time and certainly one of the best Wrestlemania matches ever. In case you somehow haven’t seen this, go out of your way to watch it at some point because it’s one of the best and most important matches of all time.

Bret is still livid and stomps away even more until Shamrock (who wasn’t a factor in the match) breaks it up and offers to fight. Hart leaves and is booed out of the building as Austin has pulled himself to the corner. Austin pulls his way up and Stuns the referee for trying to help him. He very slowly limps to the back with no help, receiving thunderous cheers from the crowd. A star has been born and everyone knows it. Even the announcers put him over as the toughest man they’ve ever seen.

The Nation of Domination (Faarooq, Savio Vega and Crush plus an army of unnamed men, many of whom were actors there to make the Nation look even bigger. That’s actually a very smart idea and not something I’ve seen since.) promises that it’s going to be a fight against the Legion of Doom and Ahmed Johnson. Ahmed had feuded with the Nation for months now and this is one of their many showdowns.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

This is a Chicago Street Fight and the Nation has brought out a bunch of weapons to use. Ahmed has a 2×4 and Hawk brings a kitchen sink for the sake of completeness. The LOD seems even more fired up than usual to be in their hometown. It’s a brawl to start of course and thankfully there are no tags required here. The good guys clean house to start and the yet to be named D’Lo Brown, JC Ice and Wolfie D. (the rappers who perform the Nation’s theme song) are slammed down to the floor.

Ahmed dives over the barricade to take Crush out as this is rapidly turning into a match that is impossible to call. Hawk swings a 2×4 at Savio but hits the ropes, sending the board into the air, only to have Hawk make a nice catch to send Savio running again. Animal tries to piledrive Faarooq through the French announcers’ table but they fall to the side instead. Instead Animal sprays him with a fire extinguisher and things slow down a bit until Ahmed slams Faarooq through the French table.

Animal beats the fire out of Savio with a trashcan but the fire extinguisher goes off again to blind everyone. The Nation puts a noose around Ahmed’s throat to hang him over the ropes but Hawk comes back with a double clothesline. Faarooq tries to choke Hawk with the noose until he gets pulled off the top rope for a big crash. The brawling continues until Crush gets caught in a quick Doomsday Device, followed by a 2×4 shot to give Animal the pin at 10:43.

Rating: B. It’s the definition of a garbage brawl but these guys beat the fire out of each other the entire time and gave us one heck of an entertaining brawl, especially in the death slot after the submission match. This was really fun and that’s all it needed to be with the fans going nuts over seeing the LOD dominant and violent one more time.

JC Ice and Wolfie D. take a double Doomsday Device after the match.

In Your House XIV ad.

There’s no recap for the main event but there isn’t much of a story to tell. Sid took the title from Bret when Austin interfered and Undertaker has been in the title hunt for a long time now. This was originally going to be Bret taking the title from Shawn to get his win back from last year but Shawn lost his smile just in time for the match to not take place. That’s very convenient no?

Shawn Michaels comes out for commentary, taking his sweet time to soak in all the cheers.

Sid says he isn’t scared of the darkness.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

Sid is defending and gets the very cool name in lights fireworks display. The bell rings and here’s Bret Hart (Shawn: “Imagine that: Bret being resentful about not being in the main event.”) to insult Shawn for faking an injury, tell Undertaker that they’re no longer friends, and tell Sid that he’s a fraud as champion. Sid just smiles and powerbombs Bret before telling the crybaby to hop along. There’s a second bell and we’re ready to go.

Undertaker pounds away to start and hits an early Old School, only to get caught in a bearhug. The hold stays on for nearly two minutes as Lawler and Michaels bicker for a bit. Shawn asks if you can actually squeeze the life out of Undertaker. Sid boots Undertaker in the face and kicks him over the announcers’ table as this is dragging along.

A slam turns the table over but Undertaker is right back to his feet and they go inside with Vince mentioning that this was turned into a No DQ match earlier today. Not that it really matters but that’s three straight No DQ matches to end the show. Sid pulls back on a camel clutch as Shawn gets in a perfect analysis by saying Sid doesn’t deviate from the power because it takes him everywhere he needs to go. That’s such a perfect lesson that so many people don’t understand.

Sid gets two off a powerslam and the frustration is setting in. Shawn: “Better pound on him some more.” They go outside again with Sid being knocked over the barricade so Undertaker can punch him in the face. Back in and we hit a bad chinlock (read as Undertaker is laying on his back with Sid’s hands on his face) until Undertaker fights up with a powerslam for two.

Now it’s Undertaker with a nerve hold as the crowd is getting restless again. Back up and it’s a double big boot to put both of them down. A middle rope clothesline (more like a fist) gets two for the champ but Undertaker punches him out of the air on the next attempt. Now it’s Undertaker going up top for a clothesline for two of his own. Sid reverses the Tombstone into one of his own but even the arm fold cover gets two.

They go outside for the third time and here’s Bret again to blast Sid in the back with a chair. Back in and a chokeslam gets two for Undertaker but he misses a running clothesline. Sid sets for the powerbomb until Bret comes down AGAIN (Shawn: “Doesn’t he get tired of getting beat up?”) and snaps Sid across the top rope, setting up the Tombstone to give Undertake the title at 23:54.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here and the match was a disaster most of the time. Sid isn’t made to go this long and it made for one heck of a bad match. The Bret stuff got annoying in a hurry but at least he was more interesting than either guy out there. Undertaker winning is definitely the right call as Sid was pretty much gone after this and Undertaker could at least do some entertaining things with the right opponent. That’s not the case here though and the match was a disaster.

Undertaker poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. There’s a really good stretch of about forty five minutes in there that was on fire but this isn’t a forty five minute show. So much of this was spent on matches that didn’t feel important or didn’t give me a reason to care. What changed here other than the World Title? Rocky retains in a lame match, the Tag Team Titles go to a double countout and we need to watch tomorrow to find out what happens with the Headbangers?

Much like Wrestlemania IX, this didn’t feel like a Wrestlemania. If this was any other show during the year, the results would have been much better. Unfortunately, as has been the case multiple times, this was the biggest show of the year and the card didn’t live up to the standard. This isn’t a good show but that’s a very common problem around this time, which is why business was in such a bad place here.

Ratings Comparison

Headbangers vs. Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFaon vs. New Blackjacks

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D-

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

The street fight is good but it’s not THAT good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/20/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-13-hitman-and-austin-thats-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/22/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiii-austins-ascension/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XIII (2013 Redo): The Austin Era Begins To Begin

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XIII
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

There’s a very strong case that this is the night where the Attitude Era began. I’m not sure if that’s the case but it beats almost anything else for second place. The alleged main event here is Sid defending the world title against Undertaker but in reality it’s Austin vs. Hart in a battle of the generations in a submission match. The match is a dark horse candidate for the greatest match of all time. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the tradition of Wrestlemania but mentions that there’s a new force in the company. It’s not a person but rather an attitude of vengeance and a lack of respect.

Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Why not have the title match here and the #1 contenders match earlier is beyond me but the WWF is running scared of WCW at this point so common sense is thrown out the window. The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. We get some clips of the originals for the sake of old school. The new ones say they’re back and they’ll beat up all the small people.

Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with all eight guys fighting at once. We finally get down to Henry vs. Bradshaw which is a match that has haunted many of my nightmares over the years. A big clothesline puts Bradshaw down and it’s quickly off to Thrasher. Bradshaw still has his vest on. He runs over Thrasher though and there goes the vest. In an interesting bit of strategy, Bradshaw tags in Phineas and then punches him in the face.

Phineas pounds on him a bit more but brings in Mosh to face Thrasher. Jerry makes fun of Vince’s knowledge of rock music, saying Vince’s favorite rock band is Mount Rushmore. After some slam dancing for lack of a better term, it’s off to LaFaon who gets caught in a double flapjack for two. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Furnas vs. Windham with the former hitting a quick rana for two. Windham hits a kind of powerbomb to take over but Bradshaw comes in and helps his partner beat down LaFon.

With the help of his partner, Bradshaw suplexes Phil out to the floor. The four members of the two teams head to the floor where Bradshaw shoves the referee and LaFon and Furnas are counted out, giving us two eliminations. So we’ve got the Headbangers vs. the Godwinns now and Thrasher gets to be in trouble first. It’s pretty clear that Vince has no idea which of the Headbangers is which.

Thrasher starts to fight back so he and Phineas spit on each other. Vince implies that Phineas is into bestiality which is an image I really didn’t need. Off to Mosh vs. Henry but a clothesline by the Godwinn puts both guys out on the floor. Mosh gets back in as Henry is only on the apron, allowing the Headbanger to hit a springboard clothesline to take Henry back down. Lawler keeps up the rock music jokes by saying Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonald’s.

Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Mosh vs. Phineas again. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Thrasher but Mosh makes the save. Everything breaks down and a top rope seated senton by Mosh is enough for the pin on Phineas to send the Headbangers to Raw.

Rating: C-. This shows you where the tag division was at this point. There were indeed several teams fighting over the titles but that doesn’t always make for an interesting series of matches in the division. The Headbangers were different but not a great team at all and the Godwinns were WAY past their expiration date at this point. Not much to see here but it was fast paced.

In Your House ad.

CALL THE HOTLINE!!!

Honky Tonk Man is here, still looking for his new protege. He’ll be doing commentary for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Maivia is defending. Sultan is more famous as Rikishi and has Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik in his corner. Lawler tells Honky not to pick Rocky for his protege because there’s no future there. So much for the Memphis school system. Rocky starts off fast and knocks Sultan out to the floor. The managers try to calm the big man down but Rocky goes after him, only to wind up clotheslining the post.

Back in and Sultan runs him over with a clothesline of his own. He throws Rocky into the corner by the throat and hits another clothesline for two. Off to a nerve hold as Honky rants about how he already would have defended the title and been in the back combing his hair. Sultan goes up and hits a top rope headbutt for no cover. So we have a Samoan portraying an Arabian but hitting a headbutt to another Samoan. I’m so racially confused.

Rocky tries a sunset flip but Sultan grabs him by the throat to block. A belly to belly gets two and we hit the chinlock. The fans are very restless with this and rightly think it’s boring. Rocky fights up but they clothesline each other to stop things from getting interesting. Sultan starts pounding away again but Rocky starts feeling the soul and makes his comeback.

Maivia snaps off some punches to Sultan and gets two off a belly to belly suplex. The spinning DDT that Rocky doesn’t use anymore puts Sultan down and there’s his top rope cross body (finisher at the time) but the Sheik has the referee. Sultan gets up and hits a superkick for a very close two. A piledriver gets another two count for Sultan but Rocky grabs a rollup out of nowhere for the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. This got better by the end but man alive was it dull for the most part. It just kept going and Sultan didn’t have enough enough to make a match like this work. Rocky would get WAY better and the jump he’s made since Survivor Series to this point is remarkable. The fans would start to hate him though, which wound up being exactly what he needed all along.

Post match Rocky is doing an interview with JR when Sultan jumps him from behind. Sheik, Sultan and Backlund all beat on Maivia until Rocky Johnson, Rocky’s dad, comes in to help fight them off. Cool moment but I don’t think most people knew who Johnson was.

Ken Shamrock, the guest referee in the submission match, says that he’ll call it down the middle. He’s here because he’s a submission master, which he actually was as a former UFC World Champion.

Doc Hendrix (with a LOUD echo on his mic) is with HHH and Chyna. HHH doesn’t think his relationship with Chyna is any of Doc’s business.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

This feud just kept GOING for months on end. Goldust crouches down and does his mind game schtick before pounding away on HHH. This is a very personal rivalry apparently. What the rivalry is about isn’t important enough to explain. Goldie pounds away in the corner and hits a fast atomic drop before sending HHH to the floor. HHH is on the apron so Goldust can slide under the ropes and hit his uppercut.

Now the not yet Game is tied up in the ropes with his feet dangling over the floor. After he’s freed, Goldust clotheslines him back inside but gets caught in the facebuster to slow things down. That doesn’t last long though as Goldust powerslams HHH down and goes up top. HHH comes back though and crotches the gold one before sending him off the top and face first into the apron.

Back in and HHH is in control, ripping open Goldust’s clothes to chop at the bare chest. A hard whip into the other corner puts Goldust down again and there’s a swinging neckbreaker for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by HHH which goes off to an arm trap chinlock. Helmsley grabs a few covers but can’t keep Goldust down for three. Goldie comes back with a near low blow and an uppercut to the face.

Not that any of that matters though as HHH comes right back with a suplex and knee drop for two. Goldust is like MOVIE REFERENCES and chops away in the corner but HHH knocks him right back down. A small package gets two for Goldust but HHH takes over again almost immediately. Goldie comes back with a cross body for two but they hit head to head to put both guys down. HHH goes up top but jumps into a flying…shall we say hip attack from Goldust to put him back down.

Chyna keeps staring at the ring without moving much more than her eyes. HHH misses a charge into the corner and gets put down by a backdrop. Goldust’s bulldog gets two as Chyna starts walking around the ring. HHH escapes the Curtain Call (reverse suplex) but Goldust counters the counter into a slingshot. He loads up the Curtain Call again but sees Chyna near Marlena. Marlena jumps up on the apron but Goldust is knocked into her, sending Marlena into Chyna’s arms. The Pedigree ends Goldie quickly.

Rating: C-. This was higher quality but it was still dull stuff. This was a REALLY bad period for HHH as he wasn’t having interesting matches and wasn’t in DX yet to let him be funny either. That combines to make him like a 12 year old hitting on girls: awkward, not interesting, and more laughable than effective. Nothing to see here, as usual with these two.

Shawn Michaels tries to figure out AOL.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Mankind/Vader

Owen/Bulldog are defending and have to deal with Paul Bearer managing the challengers. JR tries to cause trouble among the tag champions by asking Bulldog if he’s mad over Owen saying he’s smarter than Bulldog. Bulldog is also European Champion here, having beaten Owen for it a few weeks ago in a masterpiece. Owen and Vader start things off with the Canadian getting pounded down into the corner by the monster.

Hart tries to speed things up and actually takes Vader down with a spinwheel kick. A cross body is easily caught though and a rana is countered into a powerbomb. The idea here is that Vader and Mankind could have problems with Bulldog but they can beat up Owen with relative ease. Vader loads up the Bomb which draws in Bulldog and Mankind. Bulldog clotheslines the monsters down and Owen dropkicks them both down to one up his partner.

It’s Bulldog vs. Mankind now with the Brit stomping away in the corner. There’s the delayed vertical but Vader won’t even let Bulldog cover. Bulldog casually slams/suplexes Vader down to show off a little bit. It’s back to Mankind vs. Bulldog with Mankind being put in a chinlock. Mankind fights up and throws him to the floor where Bearer hands him the Urn. Bulldog trips him down though to avoid the shot, only to have Vader get the Urn and blast Bulldog in the back of the head to shift control.

Back in and Vader hits a suplex on Bulldog for two before pounding away in the corner. A corner splash crushes the British one and a middle rope splash (regular, not Vader Bomb style) only gets two. That’s a surprise and it earns a Bulldog chant. Mankind comes in but can’t get the Mandible Claw on. Instead he pounds Bulldog down into the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Instead of covering, Mankind goes to the floor and screams a bit. You know, because that’s what he does.

Vader runs Bulldog over again but as he goes up, Bulldog flips him over in a kind of release slam. Back to Owen who comes in with a missile dropkick to take Vader back down. A top rope cross body gets two but Vader CRUSHES him with a standing body block. The challengers hit a kind of Demolition Decapitator off the apron to the floor. That move put Rick Martel out for about seven months in 1988 but here it keeps Owen down for about six seconds. Now THAT is toughness.

Stu and Helen are in the front row as Mankind chokes away at Owen. Back in and Owen grabs a DDT out of desperation but a splash hits knees to slow him down again. Mankind charges at Owen but they hit heads to put both guys down. We actually hear about The Wrestling Classic for no apparent reason. Vader comes back in to box Owen’s ears but Hart escapes a suplex and hits a quick spin kick for two. Out to the floor again where Owen hits a quick belly to belly on Mankind before they head back inside.

The enziguri puts Mankind down and there’s the hot tag to Bulldog. Vader loses his mask as Bulldog beats on both challengers. Mankind is still legal and gets whipped HARD into the corner. There’s the powerslam but Mankind grabs the Claw to escape. Everything breaks down and Mankind and Bulldog go to the floor. Mankind puts on the Claw and it’s a double countdown.

Rating: B-. That might be overrating it but after an hour of boring stuff, this was a nice breath of air. The story here was shaky but it worked well enough all things considered. I’m not sure why this match happened as I don’t remember any build up to it at all and with a #1 contenders match earlier in the night, I really don’t get why this match happened. Still though, not bad stuff.

Mankind refuses to let go of the hold.

We recap Bret vs. Austin which is the real main event of this show. So Bret was all awesome and such but after losing the title at Wrestlemania last year, Bret took six months off to whine. Then he came back and felt that he kept getting screwed over by everyone from Shawn to Austin to Vince (nah that could never happen). Austin was leading the charge of disrespect by saying Bret was just a crybaby anymore. This led to a masterpiece between Austin and Bret that made everyone realize Austin was for real and the next big thing.

Hart barely won but he kept snapping and even hit Pat Patterson, the symbol of respect and tradition. This led to the Royal Rumble where Bret had the match won and eliminated Austin, only to have Austin sneak back in and win the match. A month later Bret won the vacant world title, only to have Austin cost him the belt the next night on Raw. This all led up to here and a submission match with the theme of a submission master vs. a guy that will not quit.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

This is a submission match and Ken Shamrock is guest referee. Austin has actual glass shatter as he enters which is rather cool. He gets cheered but Bret gets something resembling a mixed reaction. Austin tackles him down to start and the fight is on immediately. They head to the floor with neither guy being able to get an advantage. Austin gets posted but he manages to crotch Bret on the barricade. Bret gets clotheslined into the crowd as this is all action so far.

Bret gets in a few shots in the audience and Shamrock is right with them. Presumably this is falls count anywhere. Bret gets in a solid right hand but Austin grabs him for a piledriver. Hart counters with a backdrop and they head back towards the ring. Back to ringside and Bret dives off the barricade with a forearm to the back. Austin comes right back by whipping Hart into the steps to put him down again.

Steve hits a forearm off the apron before picking up the steps. Bret kicks him in the ribs though and the steps might have crushed Austin’s leg. As they get back in the ring (remember that thing?) Bret guillotines Austin on the top rope to take over again. Bret cranks on the leg and cannonballs down on it ala Flair. More cranking ensues and Hart wants him to get up. Bret misses another cannonball and Austin ERUPTS with a clothesline to put both guys down.

We get some foreshadowing by Lawler when he says you can’t give up when you’re unconscious. Hart comes back with a kick to the leg and throws on the Figure Four around the post. Bret goes to get the bell but switches over to a chair. That one has too much padding on it though so he gets a regular chair to Pillmanize the ankle with. The fans are getting WAY into this. Bret goes up top but Austin crotches him and CRACKS him with the chair.

Another big chair shot to the back sets up a suplex as Hart is in big trouble all of a sudden. A middle rope elbow from Austin hits Bret as JR is in full on JR mode, including a few jabs at WCW (“This isn’t about posing or covering a bald spot!”). Austin this another Bret move in the Russian legsweep followed by a reverse Koji Clutch (as in he cranks on the arm while wrapping his leg around Bret’s head. That’s a bit too complicated for Austin though so there’s a Boston Crab instead.

Bret makes a rope because in a war like this, let’s make sure we follow the rules. Austin loads up a Sharpshooter (he has no idea how to get it on) but Austin escapes. Steve fires him through the ropes and to the floor. Bret comes back and reverses a whip into the barricade while running over a few people in the process. Austin is bleeding and it’s a GUSHER. Bret sends him into the steps and pounds away at the cut as we head back inside.

Hart pounds away even harder at Austin’s forehead before hitting the Five Moves of Doom. Bret gets the chair as Vince says this is becoming too much to watch. Hart drives the chair into the leg over and over again but he can’t get the Sharpshooter again. The mat is covered in blood. Austin comes back with a low blow but he can barely stand up. He whips Bret chest first into the corner and here comes the Rattlesnake. Austin stomps the mudhole in Bret and the double bird gets a big reaction from the fans.

Austin puts Bret on top and superplexes him back down. You can’t see Austin’s forehead from all the blood. Since nothing else works, Austin goes to the floor and gets the electrical cable to choke Bret out. Hart grabs the bell from somewhere though and blasts Austin in the head, knocking him silly. Now the Sharpshooter goes on and the place goes NUTS. Austin’s head is on the mat and you can see the blood pooling up under him. That is SICK.

The crowd starts chanting for Austin and we get one of the most famous shot in company history as Austin screams into the camera with blood flowing down his face. He gets one last rush of adrenaline to push up and break the Sharpshooter for the first time ever. Well kind of as he gets Bret off his back but couldn’t break the grip. Bret gets the hold back on but Austin will not quit. Austin is out cold and Shamrock finally stops it. Austin never gave up.

Rating: A+. This is the highest rating a match can get. If there was a higher rating, this match would get that. This is one of the greatest wars you will ever see in a ring with some of the greatest storytelling you’ll ever see either. The idea of Bret being taken out of his element, only to get sucked into Austin’s world where he reaches a point that he’s never been to before but it’s STILL not enough to stop Austin is amazing and works to this day. The key point here: Hart could not stop Austin. He could only slow him down. Absolutely amazing and if you haven’t seen this, go find it right now. Seriously, go watch it now. It’s excellent.

Post match Bret is disgusted with himself but looks at Austin’s lifeless body and gets mad all over again for not being able to make Austin quit. Bret goes after the leg again but Shamrock grabs him and hooks a kind of suplex to get Hart off. Shamrock says let’s go if you want to but Bret backs down and leaves. The fans GO OFF on Bret as Austin is trying to remember what planet he’s on. A referee comes out to check on him and gets a Stunner for his troubles. Austin walks out on his own power and gets a well deserved standing ovation. And that my friends, is a double turn.

Amazingly enough, Bret vs. Austin was only just beginning. The next five months would be even more insane with perhaps an even better match blowing it off. Now let THAT sink in for a minute. This is still one of the few matches that has an actual impact on me and I get WAY into it every time I see it.

Why aren’t you watching this match right now? I’m tempted to watch it again.

Faarooq and the Nation say the criminals are out tonight in Chicago and they’re ready for the LOD and Ahmed in the Chicago street fight.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

It’s Crush/Faarooq/Savio Vega plus a bunch of unnamed lackeys forming the Nation at this point. They bring out every weapon you could think of for this match between about the nine people they have here. Ahmed has the spikes on too and they bring the kitchen sink with them. Ok point for a funny idea. It’s a big brawl to start (and will continue to be that way) with the good guys beating up the lackeys.

Faarooq hits Animal in the back with a nightstick and Ahmed hits a big dive over the barricade to take out I think Savio. I’m not going to be able to call everything here so expect a lot to be missed. Ahmed crushes Crush with a trashcan as Hawk has a 2×4 to stalk Savio with. Animal tries a piledriver on Faarooq through a table but they just fall off to the side instead. The fans chant for the LOD and Animal blasts Faarooq with a fire extinguisher. Savio cleans house with a trashcan but gets it wrapped around him and blasted by Hawk.

Ahmed slams Faarooq through the table from earlier and there goes the fire extinguisher again. Now we get a big rope with a noose on it to hang Ahmed. The Nation is too big and powerful for LOD and Ahmed to fight off. Hawk comes back with a double clothesline to Jerry’s shock. It was an actual wrestling move! Ahmed gets out of the noose and beats up D-Lo Brown for a bit. Animal hits Faarooq with a parking sign as Savio throws Ahmed over the barricade.

Crush finds a wrench from somewhere to blast Animal with as Faarooq is pulled to the floor by the rope. They’re clearly starting to get tired now. Hawk sprays the Nation down with the extinguisher again but the lackeys save Faarooq from the Pearl River Plunge. Crush gets caught in the Doomsday Device out of nowhere before getting hit by a 2×4 for the pin.

Rating: B-. You know what, why not. This was a FIGHT and it worked quite well. They didn’t try to make this anything but a street fight and that’s what they gave us. This wasn’t good or quality or anything but it was certainly fun and exactly what it was advertised as. Good stuff here and the second best match of the night so far.

Post match D’Lo (not yet named) takes the Pearl River Plunge and the small white guys (PG-13) take a double Doomsday Device to pop the crowd HUGE.

Here’s Shawn Michaels to do commentary on the main event. This was when he had a “knee injury”, which had a bad case of Idon’twanttoreturnthejobtoBretsoI’llsayI’mhurtandnotlosetohimlikeamanwould-itis.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

This is because Sid won the title and Undertaker is getting a title shot for…..no reason that I can remember at all actually. He was just kind of thrown in there to get the title off Sid with no real explanation. Sid gives his usual insane promo about how he’s going to retain the title because he’s not scared. For the first time ever, we hear that Undertaker has never lost at Wrestlemania. Sid’s pyro of his name in lights is awesome.

Just after the bell, here’s Bret Hart. Shawn: “Imagine that: Bret being resentful.” Bret yells at Shawn for having a fake injury and losing his smile. He then says that he and Undertaker are no longer friends. As for Sid, he’s a fraud because the belt belongs to Bret. Thankfully Sid hits Bret in the face and powerbombs him (Shawn: “And now you’re getting beaten up because of your big mouth.). Taker jumps Sid from behind and we get another bell to officially start the match.

Sid throws him into the corner to start but charges into a big boot. Taker hits a kind of splash in the corner followed by a slam for two. Old School hits Sid but Taker charges into a bearhug. The bearhug stays on for a long time as you would expect it to. These two have 22 minutes for this match and that’s a recipe for disaster. Sid finally kicks Undertaker to the floor and then over the French announce table for good measure.

Apparently this is no holds barred according to Gorilla. Sid drops him on the table and almost breaks it in the process. Back in and Sid pounds away at the back even more before hooking a camel clutch. Jerry: “How do you kill a dead man?” Vince: “You don’t have to. You just have to pin him for three seconds.” Point to Vince I guess. Sid hits a powerslam but can only get three two’s in a row.

A big leg gets two for Sid but Taker comes back with the flying clothesline for two. They head to the floor where Sid is thrown over the barricade. That goes nowhere so we head back inside for a horrible chinlock by the champion. Taker fights up and hits a powerslam for two before putting on a nerve hold of his own. A clothesline puts Sid back down for two as Taker is looking tired.

They hit big boots at the same time to put each other down. Sid goes to the middle rope for an ax handle and thankfully keeps his leg intact. A kind of middle rope clothesline/punch to the face gets two for the champion but here comes the Dead Man. Sid slams him down and goes up top, only to be crotched and slammed down. Undertaker hits a top rope clothesline for two more as the match FINALLY picks up a bit. Taker loads up the Tombstone but gets reversed into a tombstone by Sid for two.

We head back to the floor again but here’s Bret Hart to smack Sid in the back with a chair. Referees and officials come out to throw Bret out as Sid is rammed back first into the post. Back inside we go again and it’s a chokeslam for a VERY close two. They botch what might have been the flying clothesline as Sid ducks down, sending Taker flying. Here comes the powerbomb but Bret interferes AGAIN. The distraction lets Taker hit the Tombstone for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. This was REALLY dull stuff and Bret got annoying after about his second interference. Granted that’s the idea, but he was still annoying. On top of that, the match was WAY too much sitting around and doing nothing with all of the rest holds and other general standing around based activities. Sid was pretty much gone for good after this.

Undertaker celebrates for awhile as Shawn sucks up to him.

Overall Rating: D+. This certainly isn’t the worse Wrestlemania but it’s also not a good show by any real stretch. The main problem here is that it felt like any other PPV rather than a major show other than the Bret vs. Austin match. On top of that, the main event sucks pretty hard. It wasn’t entertaining and Undertaker wound up being a terrible champion. He couldn’t even main event his own PPV the next month. Anyway, bad show but DEFINITELY see Austin vs. Hart, even if you have before.

Ratings Comparison

Headbangers vs. Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFaon vs. New Blackjacks

Original: D+

Redo: C

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Original: D

Redo: C-

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D+

The street fight is good but it’s not THAT good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/20/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-13-hitman-and-austin-thats-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XIII (Original): Come To The Dark Side (We Have The Title)

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania 13
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont (Chicago), Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: N/A

The company was severely on the ropes at this point with WCW and the NWO running rampant in WCW. The company was still putting on everything they could think of to keep up in the ratings but at this point it just wasn’t working at all. The television shows weren’t to the levels of the Attitude Era that we remember but they were coming fast.

This show more than any other was the launching pad for the Attitude Era but I’ll get to that when the time is right. The main event for this show is the Undertaker vs. Sid for the title, despite the fact that Steve Austin won the Rumble. This one is a bit complicated but here we go. Austin was eliminated by Hart in the Rumble but came back in without the referees seeing him.

He eventually put Hart and the rest out to win the match and the title shot. That same night, Shawn won the WWF Title back from Sid but had to vacate it due to “losing his smile” (more on that later). This led to a four way match at In Your House between Taker, Vader, Austin and Hart who were the last four men in the Rumble. The next night, Bret defended against Sid, losing due to Austin interfering.

A few weeks later there was a cage rematch, before which Austin and Hart were scheduled for a submission match at Mania. Taker interfered to help Sid, hoping to get a title match at Mania. Austin interfered, hoping to get Hart the title so he would defend it in the I Quit Match. Taker got his wish and the title match with Sid who won the cage match. That all brings us here, so let’s get to it.The show is presented by Playstation. That’s never go anywhere.

The opening video is about how there is an anger growing in the company that has messed up a lot of things recently. That would ultimately be called Attitude. No real opening other than that and it’s time for our opening match.

Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks vs. Godwins vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon

This is under elimination rules and the winners get the tag champions tomorrow on Raw. Headbangers were the guys that wore skirts, the Blackjacks were Justin “Don’t call me JBL just yet” Bradshaw and Barry “I had a career once” Windham, the Godwinns you know and Furnas and LaFon were a team that were just kind of around but never did much. They were more famous in ECW and Japan. Not bad, just not great.

Two guys in the ring at once and anyone can tag anyone. We get a quick clip of the original Blackjacks and the new ones say they’re awesome. It’s a big brawl to start of course thanks to the Blackjacks. Henry Godwin and Bradshaw start us off. Bradshaw hasn’t even been able to get his vest off yet. Ah there it goes.

One of the Headbangers in now against Phineas. This is a bit of a mess so far. Now it’s time for the Headbangers to explode but instead they dance a bit. Not as good as Too Cool but they’re trying at least. LaFon comes in and after a bit of a beating for him it’s off to…I think that’s Windham. Furnas comes in and gets a rana for two.

This is going all over the place and it’s hard to get into for the most part. Some Blackjack double teaming results in a suplex for Furnas over the top to the floor. Furnas/LaFon and the Blackjacks get into a brawl on the floor and I think it’s a DQ for the Blackjacks for shoving a ref and Furnas/LaFon are counted out.

It’s down to the Godwins and the Headbangers for the #1 contender spot. This turns into a regular tag match between two teams the feuded for what felt like forever and never got anywhere at all. Henry vs. Thrasher at the moment. Vince clearly doesn’t know which Headbanger is which and it’s kind of funny. Oh and Hillbilly Jim is the manager of the Godwins.

Phineas and Thrasher spit on each other a few times as Vince implies bestiality between Phineas and a few farm animals. Lawler calls Vince out of that and Ross of course talks about food. Mosh beats on Henry a bit and gets a nice springboard clothesline to Henry on the floor. To top that Mosh pops back up onto the apron and we get a Rocket Launcher to send Thrasher onto Henry on the floor.

Jerry asks Vince about White Zombie. Apparently Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonalds. Ok a point there for a funny line. Thrasher misses a moonsault off the top and here come Phineas and Mosh again. Phineas cleans house and there goes Thrasher. Most breaks up the Slop Drop and it’s a big brawl. Mosh gets a top rope seated senton to Phineas to end it out of nowhere. They would lose the next night.

Rating: D+. This was ok, but that’s it. Having two teams go out that fast just didn’t work at all and this might as well have been the Godwinns against the Headbangers. Not terrible, but not great at all. The tag division was a total and complete mess at this point and it didn’t get any better for a few years and then it died completely for the most part.

Brian Pillman and Sunny talk about the WWF Hotline.

Honky Tonk Man joins us on commentary as he continues to look for his protégé. JR says that he and Lawler look like cousins (they really are.) Joke for insiders there. Obviously, Honky is here for the IC Title Match.

Lou Albano and Arnold Skaaland are in the front row.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Rocky Maivia would drop the y Maivia and add a The, becoming far more famous. Sultan is more commonly known as Rikishi and is famous in his own right. At this point, Rock is still a very nervous rookie but he won the future award or something like that the previous night at the Slammys, so the people knew he had it in him. For no apparent reason, Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik are managing Sultan here.

No one, I mean NO ONE, cares about Rocky at this point. Tony Atlas, Rocky’s dad’s former tag partner is here. Honky is looking for a perfect champion or something like that. Rocky is a nervous wreck it seems. He hammers on Sultan which gets him nowhere. Rocky can nip-up which is always cool to see. Sweet goodness how big of a push did both of these guys get in the future?

We head to the floor and Rocky clotheslines the post to give Sultan control. Honky goes into a big rant about how you can’t make mistakes when you’re the champion. That’s very funny considering who Honky is. Clothesline gets two for Sultan and we hit the nerve hold. Honky says he’d already have won the match and be in the dressing room combing his hair. He’s rather funny at this indeed.

Rocky tries to get something going but runs into a knee. Top rope headbutt by Sultan puts Rocky down even longer. One handed cover gets two. Rocky gets a sunset flip but Sultan chokes away instead. Belly to belly by the future Samoan gets two. This is painfully boring by the way. We hit the chinlock to continue the boring nature of this match.

Make that a LONG chinlock to continue the boring nature of this match. Here’s the comeback and it’s a double clothesline. Are they just not wanting this show to be interesting at all? Rocky hammers away and doesn’t do much else. A slam gets two. Rocky’s offense is painfully limited at this point. Maivia Hurricane (Spinning DDT) gets two and Rocky goes up top.

Cross body connects but there’s no referee due to the Sheik. Rocky goes back at Sultan and gets his head kicked off in a nice shot. Naturally it only gets two because an Arabian character can’t win anything in this era of course. Rocky gets one of the worst rollups I’ve ever seen to end this awful match.

Rating: D. How could a Rock match be this boring? This was completely awful and just boring beyond believe. Sultan was somehow less interesting than he would be as heel Rikishi which I didn’t think was possible. Rocky was getting there in the ring but the crowd HATED this gimmick he had so thankfully The Rock was born soon after. Anyway, awful match.

Post match the evildoers do evil and beat down Rocky until the other Rocky, Johnson in this case, comes in to save his son in a moment that is supposed to be charming I think but just extends this already bad segment.

The previous night’s Slammies are recapped.

Ken Shamrock, in this case not a wrestler yet, is the referee for the submission match later on and won’t be intimidated by either guy. He showed what he could do against Billy Gunn. He was a UFC star at the time so this was a big cross promotion thing. He had been what would become the world champion of UFC less than a year ago, so this would be like Randy Couture showing up. Big deal indeed.

HHH says he’s going to destroy Goldust. Chyna is with him and she has NO chest at all.

HHH vs. Goldust

The main point here is that HHH has Chyna who no one knows anything about. She’s supposed to be opposed by Marlena. Think about how this is going to go. HHH had been hitting on Marlena around this time and Goldust wasn’t happy. There’s your backstory. HHH’s music is just freaking sweet for a wrestling theme. When Goldust had his mind right he was a very good worker. Sadly enough that doesn’t happen often.

It’s weird to see Chyna this…manly looking. Yes somehow the more famous version of her was the girly one. Goldie goes into his crouch to start and comes out with the clothesline to get us going. Atomic drop and a clothesline to HHH sends him to the floor. Jerry makes fun of Goldie’s hair and says that Vince has a wig. Vince implies he wears a toupee which has always been a point of uncertainty.

HHH gets tied up in the ropes and it’s all Goldust to start us off here. The future Game can’t get anything going and walks into a powerslam after his tiny bit of offense. Goldust goes up but HHH makes the stop. He sets for a suplex but instead throws him over the ropes and down to the floor where his face hits the apron. Nearly a FREAKING OW MAN moment but not quite.

Helmsley starts to loosen Goldust’s jumpsuit to get better chops in. Why does Goldie’s clothing always come off at Mania? King makes fun of Chyna as HHH takes over completely here. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch which was invented by someone named Wilbur Snyder apparently. This show is staying boring for a very long time and it’s not good.

We’re about 45 minutes into this and there hasn’t been a good match yet. Good thing one of the best matches of all time is coming. HHH gets a Flair knee drop for two. Small package from Goldust for two. HHH takes him right back down with a clothesline. Goldust can’t get a slam but can get a cross body for two. And now they hit heads to waste some more time.

HHH tries to go up top but Goldust gets a flying shot to HHH to take him down. Why do I think that’s something the Ambiguously Gay Duo uses as a double team move. HHH eats buckle and Goldust hammers away. Bulldog takes HHH down. Chyna moves for the first time all match, going after Marlena. Goldust has the Curtain Call but has to save Marlena. HHH knocks into Goldust which knocks Marlena into Chyna. Pedigree FINALLY ends this.

Rating: D. This went on nearly 15 minutes. This was far too long and far too boring. We’re almost an hour into this show and there hasn’t been a single good match in sight. Terribly boring match and thankfully this was the last time they fought as HHH started feuding with Cactus soon after this.

Shawn is on AOL and isn’t very good at typing.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Mankind/Vader

There’s really no backstory here. Mankind now has Paul Bearer as his manager following Bearer’s betrayal of the Undertaker at Summerslam. On the way to the ring, the champions say they’re going to keep the belts. Ross interviews them and the champions also argue over who the leader of the team really is. This is an issue because Bulldog recently beat Owen to win the first ever European Championship.

Heel vs. heel here which isn’t something you see that often, at least not for a title. Owen and Vader start us off which is good as they had a solid match on a European PPV. After getting pounded down for awhile, Hart speeds things up to start which works pretty well, even taking Vader down with a spinwheel kick. Vader finally is like boy I’m Vader and powerbombs him.

Davey breaks up the Vader Bomb and somehow that counts as a tag so it’s Bulldog vs. Mankind. Delayed vertical to Mankind and Vader comes in to break up a pin. Here’s a (non-delayed) suplex for you too Trixie. Vader pulls the rope down as Bulldog hits it, sending him out to the floor. With Bulldog hammering on Mankind Vader drills him with the Urn to take over.

Vader kills Bulldog with a corner splash and adds on a middle rope splash which somehow only gets two. Off to Foley who hammers away on Bulldog in the corner. Backdrop takes Davey down and it’s off to Vader again. I love that move Vader does where he more or less hits a standing splash to take someone down. Davey managers to slam Vader off the top and here comes Owen.

Top rope dropkick takes down Vader and a sunset flip causes Vader to fall down. Cross body gets two. Vader is like screw this and runs him over. Why mess with the basics? The challengers get a Demolition Decapitator to Owen on the floor to more or less end him. Hey Stu and Helen are in the front row! I wonder if the fans know they’re sitting next to perhaps the best trainer of all time.

While Mankind puts on a chinlock we look at the crowd and announce the attendance plus say that we are LIVE. Owen gets a DDT out of nowhere but runs into a knee lift to take him down. We get a Wrestling Classic reference of all things. Vader hammers away at Owen in the corner then calls a spot to him. A suplex is reversed and Owen gets a spin kick to get two.

Out to the floor again and Owen gets a belly to belly suplex on the floor to Mankind. Enziguri back in the ring takes Mankind down and it’s off to Bulldog and Vader. Vader’s mask is off and Davey cleans house. He sets for the powerslam on Mankind but he hooks in the Claw. They get knocked to the floor and Mankind gets the Claw again on the floor. Yep it’s a double countout.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here and the ending completely sucked. This was a disjointed mess the entire time and it went over 16 minutes. It’s not completely horrible as the talent in there brings it up (I mean dude, the Bulldog is the worst wrestler in there. That says a lot) but still, this wasn’t anything special in the slightest. A definitive ending would have been nice too.

We recap Bret vs. Austin. Ok here we go. The idea is simple: Bret is losing his place in the company and thinks everyone is out to get him. He isn’t ready to go yet and wants to stay around. After losing the title he left for six months and when he came back the company was different. He talks about how everyone has screwed him over and how he doesn’t like it that well.

There was one guy that Bret thought was the cause of this whole thing: Enter Steve Austin. Austin calls Bret out on his complaining, saying that since he got back he’s done nothing but cry about how much he hates this new WWF. Austin went after Bret and drove him insane, resulting in a huge profanity laced tirade against Vince and the company on Raw.

Bret had already beaten Austin in a classic at Survivor Series, but Austin met up with him again at the Rumble. There Bret eliminated him but Austin came back in and threw Bret out and was declared the winner. Due to Shawn losing his smile, Bret won the title at Final Four and then lost it the next night but still wanted Austin more. Bret’s hatred of this new era was manifested in the form of Austin. The buildup here is incredible to say the least and there was almost no way this wasn’t going to be a classic. The question wasn’t would it be great, but how great would it be.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Ken Shamrock is guest referee due to knowing submissions. Remember that this is submission only. Nice ovation for Shamrock. Austin gets his famous entrance as actual glass shatters in front of the entrance when he walks through. The idea here is simple: Bret is a submissions master, but Austin can beat on you until you say you quit.

Austin gets in Shamrock’s face which goes nowhere. Bret definitely gets a face pop but it’s not as strong as it was before. Just to be clear: Bret is the face and Austin is the heel coming into this without question. Austin spears Bret down almost immediately and the fight is on. They slug it out and hit the floor for more punching. Austin gets sent into the post but manages to crotch Bret on the railing.

A clothesline sends Bret into the crowd. They head into the crowd and thankfully unlike ECW, there’s a camera there to get a good shot of the vast majority of the action. Bret takes over for a bit and there’s a guy with an NWO shirt on. Austin takes over and tries a Piledriver on the steps. Bret manages to backdrop him down the steps to regain control.

Back to ringside and Austin reverses Bret to send him CRASHING into the steps which go flying. He manages to knock the steps into Austin and hammers away. Hey we’re actually in the ring! Austin steps on Bret’s fingers which is a nice move. Spinning neckbreaker gets Bret out of trouble. The fans are still behind him at this point.

Vince bashes Bret saying that he’ll have an excuse for losing. Bret complained about Vince burying him in the commentary on his matches with Austin and he might have a point actually. Bret cannonballs down onto the knee of Austin and the Rattlesnake is in trouble. He works on the knee with his usual attacks but misses a second cannonball.

Austin pops up and drills Bret with a Stunner to take over. No pins though so he doesn’t have a ton to work with. Jerry says that isn’t good as it could cost him the match. Ross jumps in there and says that if someone is unconscious the referee would stop the match. That is a very important line as it establishes the procedure so they can say “we said that’s what we would do” if that came up.

Bret busts out the Heartbreaker (figure four on the post) for I think the first time on PPV and the crowd is into it. No submission of course as we’re not far enough into the match at this point. Bret grabs the bell and the fans aren’t sure about this. Scratch that as he gets the chair and tries to Pillmanize the leg. Yep the fans still love him.

Austin gets up and CRACKS Bret with the chair as he goes up to the top. Austin is all fired up now and pops Bret across the back with the chair. The fans sound afraid to cheer. Suplex puts Bret down. Middle rope elbow, a Bret move, hits for Austin. Ross gets in some GREAT jabs at WCW, talking about how this is a fight, not about covering a bald spot and various other jokes like that.

Stone Cold hits a Russian Leg Sweep (stealing the Five Moves of Doom again and busts out a Koji Clutch of all things. Never let it be said that Austin can’t wrestle when he has to. Boston Crab goes on to further work on the back. A rope is grabbed though and Austin isn’t happy at all.

Austin tries a Sharpshooter to a GREAT pop. Jerry: “Bret Hart could never submit to the Sharpshooter!” Vince: “Hey it could happen!” I wonder if Vince had some plans for Montreal already. Austin throws Bret to the floor to BIG heat. It’s very interesting to keep an eye or ear in this case on the crowd and see what they think of this match.

Out to the floor and Bret reverses Austin into the timekeeper’s table and ultimately the railing. Austin is busted open and now we get into the meat of this one. Bret hammers away on the cut to a pop but a far more mild one. Backbreaker and elbow off the middle rope from Bret and he grabs the chair. Down into the knee and Ross is morphing into JR.

Sharpshooter coming but Austin rakes the eyes to break it up. Bret hammers in the corner so Austin punts him in the balls which Vince says might have been deserved. Vince be nice. Austin wakes up and turns into the Rattlesnake, stomping the mudhole on Bret in the corner and adding a middle rope suplex for good measure. He gets the electrical cord from ringside and wraps it around Bret’s neck.

He tries to hang Bret over the top rope but Bret grabs the bell. He DRILLS Austin in the head with it to a pop from the crowd. They’re not sure what to do now. There’s the Sharpshooter and everyone rises to their feet. We get one of the most famous images in wrestling history as Austin screams in agony with the blood gushing down his head.

Austin starts to lose consciousness and JR is in his element here, shouting the entire time and it’s just great. For the first time ever, Austin breaks the Sharpshooter but Bret gets it right back on. Crowd is completely behind Austin here. He keeps fighting but eventually passes out and Shamrock stops it. Austin is DEAD but Bret isn’t done.

Bret tries to go after Austin again and the heat on him is insane. Shamrock grabs Bret and throws him off Austin. Ken is all like BRING IT ON but Bret walks away to some of the loudest booing you’ll ever here. Austin tries to get up and Shamrock leaves. Another referee tries to help Austin but he gets stunned. Austin walks to the back on his own and gets a standing ovation. Ladies and gentlemen I give you the double turn. The fans chant for Austin as he goes to the back, and the WWF has its savior.

Rating: A+. This is one of the greatest matches of all time. It’s a war from start to finish and also one of the most complex matches you’ll ever see. Bret was fighting time and the new Attitude in the form of Austin and despite the absolute best he could do, he couldn’t get his way in the end.

The fans are as big a part of this match as the guys out there, making Austin the new hero and Bret the top heel in the company in a single match. That’s hardly ever done and this is the perfection of it. Excellent match and 100% required viewing for fans, as well as the only reason to watch this show at all.

Also, some people, myself included, believe that that match was the official dawning of the Attitude Era. Truly historic.

The blood stain on the mat is kind of creepy. The announcers talk about what we just saw and how awesome it was.

The Nation talks about how they’re going to take it to the Legion of Doom and Ahmed.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

This is a Chicago Street Fight and about the 19th blowoff to Ahmed vs. the Nation. The Nation has like 8 guys with them here but the official team is Farroq/Crush/Savio Vega. The Nation would have actors come out with them to make the Nation look bigger which is kind of a great idea. We hear that Mania 14 is in Boston but tickets aren’t on sale yet.

Remember this is the LOD’s hometown so they’re mad over. Ahmed even has the spikes going on. Ahmed is the original Ezekiel Jackson if you aren’t familiar with him. The LOD brings a kitchen sink with them, starting a joke that was funny a grand total of once. This is going to be a big old wild brawl.

The Nation jumps the good guys as they’re taking off their pads. Crush gets left alone in the ring and then the lackeys come in. Yeah that doesn’t work. No tags here thank goodness. The lawyer gets beaten up, prompting JR to shout that he just got debriefed! The nightstick comes into play as there is too much to call here.

Ahmed JUMPS over the railing with a tope con hilo into the crowd. Not bad for a guy that weighed about 280. Since that isn’t good enough he jumps back over it with a big shoulder block to take down Crush. Hawk swings a big board at Savio but it hits the rope and flies into the air. He catches it but misses Savio. Farrooq gets….I think that was supposed to be a piledriver on the French announce table but they fall off to the side.

The board is used on Hawk in the ring. Total insanity here. Farrooq gets shot in the face by a fire extinguisher. The guy that would become known as D’lo brings out a street sign. This is pure anarchy. Ahmed blocks a trash can shot and puts Farrooq through the French announce table. Crowd is totally behind LOD. The fire extinguisher is used again.

It’s rope time and apparently they’re going to lynch Ahmed. Animal CRACKS Farrooq with that sign. Back to the lynching, this time with Hawk getting in trouble. Crush hits Animal with a wrench of all things. Farrooq goes up with the rope in hand and gets pulled down to the floor by Hawk. Things start to slow down a lot due to exhaustion.

There goes the fire extinguisher again. Spinebuster to Farrooq by Ahmed and I think it’s Hawk firing the extinguisher at Crush. The Nation jumps into the ring and they all beat down Ahmed but the LOD pick off Crush and it’s a Doomsday Device for him. The 2×4 is used as a clothesline to take down Farrooq for the pin. Post match PG-13 takes Doomsday Devices and D’Lo takes a Pearl River Plunge.

Rating: B+. That’s probably way too high but I loved this match when I was a kid and I loved it here. It’s a total brawl from the minute the bell rang and they kept it up for about ten minutes. All kinds of weapons, all kinds of violence and Ahmed showing off the whole time. This match was very fun and they did exactly what they said it would be: a fight. Fun match.

In Your House is back next month. I think that would be Revenge of the Taker which was pretty good.

Here’s Shawn to do commentary on the main event. This was kind of a big issue as he was supposed to lose the title back to Bret in the rematch here. Obviously that didn’t happen as he “injured his knee” which he’s hinted at being fake over the years. His entrance takes forever as he’s limping and high fives everyone in sight.

Sid flubs his lines and says he isn’t afraid of the Deadman. Can we PLEASE get someone to say something else when they’re fighting Taker? It can’t be that hard, truly it can’t be.

WWF World Title: Sid vs. Undertaker

This is happening due to Shawn sitting out. It was supposed to be Bret vs. Shawn but Austin was substituted in for Shawn to face Bret. I’m assuming Austin would have gotten one of these guys instead but that’s never been fully answered. It’s weird seeing no Bearer with Taker in this time period. They’re filling in time here as Taker’s entrance takes forever. Shawn and Taker’s combined have taken about six minutes. Also, when’s the last time you saw Taker come out first?

JR points out that Taker has never lost at Wrestlemania, although he doesn’t mention the Streak directly. I love Sid’s pyro. Always awesome. And here comes Bret Hart to take some spotlight up. Vince cuddles Shawn, telling him not to go after Bret in a funny bit. Bret says he and Taker aren’t friends anymore and that Sid is a fraud as champion. He complains a lot and gets powerbombed for his troubles. Sid yells at him and Taker jumps him to start us off.

This might be the least interesting Mania main event in a very long time. Big boot by Taker and he throws Sid into the corner and hammers away even more. Splash in the corner and we hear about Taker never being given the chance to lead the company which is rather true indeed. Old School hits and Shawn says neither is used to not being the bigger man. One is listed at 6’10 and one is listed at 6’9. Wouldn’t one be bigger?

Sid throws on a bearhug as I guess he needed a rest two minutes in. He hammers away as the fans are more or less silent. They’re not sure who to cheer for as Sid is almost universally popular but Taker is Taker. Sid knocks him to the floor and Taker is sent onto the French announce table. Why pick on the Spanish when you can pick on the French I guess.

Gorilla has sent in word that this is No DQ. Good to know. Sid’s offense is rather limited shall we say. Camel clutch goes on as we rest even more. Middle rope double axe handle takes down Taker. Taker whispers powerslam to Sid, Sid says “HUH” Taker whispers again. Powerslam gets two for Sid.

Sid chokes away as this is so boring. Jerry and Shawn make fun of Bret to pass the time. Big right hand in the corner by Sid. Shawn says you can’t beat Sid while he’s standing up. What incredible insight! To the floor and Taker sends him over the railing. They slug it out over the railing and Sid comes back to ringside again. Back into the ring with Taker having a slight advantage.

Yep it’s another rest hold. This one goes on for awhile as have the vast majority of them so far in this match. Taker fights up from his knees and gets a powerslam to take Sid down for two. Oh look it’s ANOTHER rest hold, in this case a nerve hold. Big boot is blocked by a clothesline by Taker for two. Double big boot spot and both guys are down. Can someone put on a test pattern to give us something interesting to watch?

Sid crawls over to get two. He gets another axe handle off the middle rope for two. A clothesline gets no cover as we’re filling in time until the ending here. Another double axe gets punched in the ribs but Sid rakes the eyes to break the momentum. Sid goes up for like the 9th time but Taker stops him for once. Taker gets a top rope clothesline of his own for two.

Neither guy will go for their finishers yet and Jerry thinks they’re afraid of a kickout. Taker slits the throat but Sid reverses into one of his own. Wow that actually worked. Naturally it only gets two because this is Wrestlemania. They slug it out on the floor and Bret Hart pops up again to hit Sid in the back with a chair. Taker rams Sid into the post and back in the ring a chokeslam gets two. Jumping clothesline is ducked and Sid sets for the powerbomb. Bret comes back AGAIN and clotheslines Sid on the top rope. Tombstone gives Taker his second world title.

Rating: D. Sweet GOODNESS this was boring. This is one of the most lackluster matches I can remember in a long time. After two very good matches, one being a classic, just before this, this is a terrible way to end the show. Who though Sid going over 21 minutes was a good idea in the slightest? Taker’s title reign, much like this match, was boring. The commentary would make you believe he never held the title before.

Taker poses with the belt to end the show. Shawn applauds for like two minutes straight. Sid was gone after this.

Overall Rating
: D. This is a show where one match was supposed to be a classic and it was. The other good match was more or less by accident and meant nothing. This was a bad time for the company but the brighter days were coming. The Border War was coming soon and it would breathe life into the company. Montreal would be the big break they needed and then Starrcade 97 completely saved them. The rest is history. If you didn’t guess, I’m trying not to talk or think about this show anymore. Terrible Mania and one of the worst ever.

 

 

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