Smackdown – September 19, 2008: I Remember Why I Don’t Think About 2008 That Much

Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2008
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Some people are at a bar in Nashville which is across the street from the arena.

Ryan Braddock vs. Festus

Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here again as Truth was too new to mean much other than his rapping stuff. Shelton was just worthless at this point with all of the Gold Standard nonsense as he looked stupid and slowed WAY down, taking away the majority of the appeal he had. The match was just ok.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff whacks Kendrick in the face to start and pounds away in the corner. Jeff loads up a powerbomb or something like it but he gets backdropped to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jeff in a half crab but Hardy makes the rope. Kendrick easily snapmares Jeff back down and we hit the same hold again. Jeff comes back with a mule kick and a sitout gordbuster for two. Kendrick gets in a boot to the face and tries Sliced Bread but gets countered into a backslide for the pin.

We see the Undertaker attack video again.

The champs say Primo is a joke so Primo asks who these guys are. Ryder: “Bro are you serious? You know it!” Carlito finds it funny that Hawkins and Ryder are champions and wants a title match right now. The champs say no because they used to be part of La Familia. Primo: “YOU GUYS SPEAK SPANISH TOO!” Primo talks in Spanish and apparently he swears a lot as Carlito freaks out.

Scotty Goldman (Colt Cabana) makes fun of Khali and Singh, including with a Singh puppet.

Scotty Goldman vs. Great Khali

Total massacre, Punjabi Plunge, about 90 seconds.

Khali vs. Kozlov next week.

Raw ReBound is Jericho retaining the world title in a cage match over Punk. Jericho later said that it should be JBL vs. Batista with the winner facing Jericho later. Instead Jericho will defend against Shawn at the PPV in a ladder match.

Chavo throws out Hawkins/Bam Neely/Ryder so he (and we) can watch Taker getting beaten down for the 6th time tonight. Taker pops up on screen and Chavo gets grabbed by the arm of an otherwise unseen Undertaker.

HHH vs. MVP

MVP finally mixes things up with a DDT on the arm for two. He loads up the big boot in the corner but HHH comes out of the corner with a jumping knee to the face. A neckbreaker puts MVP down but HHH charges into a boot in the corner. That means nothing though as HHH spinebusts him down and out to the floor. HHH follows him out and sends MVP into the table but MVP gets in a shot to the arm. They head back in and MVP comes off the top, but he dives into the Pedigree to give HHH the win.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Destination X 2011 – Well That Certainly Was All X Division

Destination X 2011
Date: July 10, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

It’s the X-Division show as the division that has gone from the focal point of the company is now relegated to a show that gets four weeks of buildup!  Anyway the main event is Daniels vs. AJ in a face vs. face respect match.  Daniels has had the seeds planted for a heel turn though so it’s a distinct possibility.  The six sided ring is back for tonight only and there are a lot of X-Division style matches.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how these guys have been around since the beginning and set a new standard in wrestling.  Abyss gives a voiceover about the Art of War and we get parts of Kendrick’s promo from Impact about how various religions view life and God.

Samoa Joe vs. Kazarian

 

Kaz goes straight at him at the bell and Joe is like dude no and chops away.  Kaz escapes the Clutch and Joe tries to fly, only to have Kaz move.  Joe doesn’t crash though and takes Kaz down on the floor.  Kaz tries to dive off the apron and Joe just steps to the side.  I love when he does that.  Back inside now and Joe hits an enziguri in the corner.  Kaz tries a springboard move and lands in an atomic drop.

Almost all Joe so far as he takes Kaz down again.  Headbutt by Joe hurts a lot more because he’s Samoan.  There’s a knee drop for two.  Joe puts him in Musclebuster position but chops him instead.  Kaz finally gets something of note with a springboard dropkick to put both guys down.  Joe hammers away but walks into a slam.  Yeah just a slam.  There’s that spinning legdrop that has a cool name that I can’t think of.

Slingshot DDT gets two for Kaz.  Joe goes up and Kaz gets an enziguri to stop him.  Kaz tries to load up the Flux Capacitor (C4) but they tumble out to the floor and Joe hits a suicide dive to take over again.  Back in and Joe hammers on the back a bit.  Kaz tries the Fade to Black but gets caught in a powerbomb for two.  Off to an STF by Joe which is transitioned into a Crossface which doesn’t work either.  Joe finally gets the choke and Kaz somehow makes the rope after being in the hold long enough to probably kill him.  Joe argues with the referee and Kaz rolls him up for the weak pin.

Rating: B-. This would have been higher with a better finish.  I mean it came out of nowhere and had zero heat.  I don’t know what Joe did to go on this losing streak and be pushed this far down the card but he must have done something akin to giving away Foley winning the title.  Anyway, good match up until the ending.  With another three minutes or so this could have been awesome.

We’re going to look back at AJ vs. Daniels throughout the years with the first one being from Unbreakable.  So I guess we’re skipping the 2-3 years of them feuding before that?

Daniels arrives.

Eric Young is at a convention of some sort and runs into Curry Man, Suicide and Sangriento signing autographs.  He wants a partner for tonight and Shark Boy shows up and will be his partner.  Curry Man can’t do it because he’s got a Fire Championship match tomorrow in Tokyo vs. Cody Deaner.  Oh dear.

Douglas Williams vs. Mark Haskins

 

Haskins is a British guy making his debut.  He looks like John Morrison mixed with someone far less interesting.  This is the open challenge.  Williams says the other Brits (minus his opponent) can leave.  He praises Haskins but says he’s in over his head here.  Williams is in trunks here which is kind of weird to see.  They start off fast with a pinfall reversal sequence and the overly annoying fans chant USA.

Nice technical stuff to start and Haskins sends him to the floor.  He follows him out and hammers away which doesn’t last long.  Williams takes over back inside and slaps him in the face.  Clothesline takes Haskins down again and Williams throws on an inverted Gory Special.  They slug it out with Williams taking over.  He can’t hit Rolling Chaos Theory and here comes Haskins.  Cutter gets two.

Williams goes up but jumps into a superkick.  Haskins goes up this time and then does it again.  I mean he comes off and goes back up again.  He tries a shooting star but totally misses, allowing Williams to get the rollup for the win.  Fans were REALLY not impressed there at the end with Haskins.  Williams shakes his hand post match.

Rating: C. Not bad but with all the hype Haskins got, this was pretty pedestrian.  Also not much of a match as far as an open challenge.  I’d have wanted to see more than that as far as star power but it wasn’t bad.  Just kind of there for the most part but I’ve seen far worse.  Haskins isn’t what he’s cracked up to be but he tried.

Austin Aries is with So Cal Val and says her outfit isn’t an outfit of the year candidate but he’ll give it about three and a half stars.  He talks to all the fans and all those watching on illegal streams, hoping they all choke.  Aries says he’s the best and everyone will find that out tonight.

Generation Me vs. Eric Young/Shark Boy

 

This is a bonus match.  I can never remember which Buck is which.  Eric and Shark Boy tag about five times before the match starts.  Ok so Jeremy is the blonde.  Got it.  Sharky stomps a mudhole in him early and hammers away in the corner.  There’s the Thesz Press and an elbow.  Eric comes in and beats on both guys a bit.  Off to Sharky who bites Max.  Yep it’s a comedy match.

Jeremy throws on a chinlock as Sharky is still ridiculously over.  Clothesline misses and Shark Boy gets a shot to the back of the head to put both guys down.  Young pulls his tights down to shift to trunks and gets the hot tag.  Gen Me takes over again and a bulldog gets two on Young.  Stunner by Shark Boy sets up a wheelbarrow suplex into a reverse neckbreaker by Young for the pin on Max.  Think Lethal’s Lethal Injection but with a wheelbarrow suplex.

Rating: C-. Just a comedy tag match to fill in some time.  I still hate what they’re doing with the midcard title as it’s being used as a comedy prop like Santino did to the IC Title a few years ago.  Not bad here but it’s really just a filler match and nothing all that great.  Shark Boy’s popularity is still strong though.

Clip of Daniels/Styles winning the tag titles.

Daniels and AJ are excited for the main event.

Zema Ion says he’ll win.

Same video on Ultimate X from Thursday.

The announcers talk for a bit to fill in time while the structure is put up.

Shannon Moore vs. Amazing Red vs. Alex Shelley vs. Robbie E

 

Ultimate X with the winner being #1 contender to the X Title.  Things start out quickly of course and Robbie makes a fast run for the X.  Red gets the always sweet double spin kick.  Robbie looks like he’s having a seizure or something.  Shelley and Red put Robbie on the floor before Shelley beats up Red a bit.  Shelley climbs on Moore’s shoulders but Robbie makes the stop.  Robbie is sitting in the corner and Moore is put in the Tree of Woe at the same time.

Shelley goes for the X but Red saves.  Robbie clears the ring but gets caught in the ring skirt and pummeled by Moore.  Moore and Shelley have a nice little sequence resulting in a moonsault off the stage by Moore to take Alex out.  Red is alone in the ring but Moore gets in quickly to stop him.  Shelley gets crotched and Red gets a shooting star off the shoulders of Moore in a cool spot.

Moore and Red collide so Robbie goes up now.  Red saves of course and fires off some kicks to hurt Robbie.  Robbie manages to throw Red over the top onto the other two guys to clear the ring other than himself again.  The fans are for Red here.  Robbie almost gets there but stops to fist pump, allowing Red to hit a springboard dropkick to take him down.  Moore goes up above the X and on top of the truss.  This is always scary.  I’m terrified of heights so this is really intense for me.

Moore lowers himself onto the X as Red is almost there.  Shelley is trying to catch up and Moore is down on the X now thank goodness.  Shelley kicks him down and casually wins this.  One of the fastest Ultimate X matches ever and I think that might not have been the planned finish.  Came out of nowhere with no spark at all.  Shelley looked like he was waiting on someone to stop him before he pulled it down..

Rating: C. That’s a low grade for Ultimate X, not in general.  Not much here as it was really paint by numbers out there.  I really think the ending didn’t happen as it was planned as things just kind of came to an end rather than with any kind of big spot.  Either way, not a bad match but just kind of bland, especially with no story and having an Ultimate X match for the sake of an Ultimate X match.

Clip of Daniels vs. AJ from Final Resolution 2009 which was good if I remember right.

Low Ki says he’s proven himself for his entire career and he’ll do it tonight for everyone ever told they’re too small etc.

We recap RVD vs. Jerry Lynn which is really just a respect match because they had a bunch of matches that I’ve never considered as great as most people claim they are.  This was supposed to be the main event of Hardcore Justice but Lynn hurt his back.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

 

They actually say ECW.  Eh not like anyone is watching so no lawyers will hear it.  Apparently Lynn and JB used to be roommates.  That’s not something I want to picture.  Lot of stalling to start as they circle each other.  Rob grabs a headlock to start and they use a sequence they used in every ECW match they had and built on it every next match.  As always it results in a standoff.

The fans are totally split here.  They speed things up and Lynn gets taken down by a legsweep for two.  Off to an armbar as we hear about Forever Hardcore, JB’s ECW documentary.  Rob misses a kick in the corner but hits a spinwheel kick to Lynn as Lynn goes up.  Superplex is blocked and Lynn tries a tornado DDT to the apron which doesn’t work.  Back in the ring with Rob still in control.

Both guys miss a ton of stuff (due to counters, not botches) and it’s another stalemate.  Rob gets a kick to send him to the floor and teases a dive but stays in the ring.  He holds the ropes open for Jerry and actually lets him back in.  There’s the ECW chant that is required.  Lynn takes a handshake and sends Van Dam to the railing, more or less turning heel mid match.

Lynn hits a running flip off the apron to take Rob out again.  That gets two back in the ring.  Jerry hammers away some more and we hit the chinlock.  German suplex puts Van Dam down again.  Clothesline gets two.  Rob fires back with a kick to the head and Rolling Thunder for two.  Another spin kick sends Lynn to the floor again.  Rob hits the spinning legdrop to Lynn while he’s on the railing.

Slingshot legdrop gets no cover and Rob goes up.  Lynn gets up and shoves Rob off the top and we’re back on the floor again.  Been there quite often in this match.  Just as I was thinking at least this match doesn’t have a bunch of weapons, Lynn grabs a chair.  Rob tries a leg sweep but Lynn hits a Fameasser onto the chair.  Rob is busted open and Lynn gets two off of it.

Rob tries a spinning sunset flip out of the corner (think Booker T) but Lynn throws him across the ring onto the chair for two.  Rob gets a Van Daminator and hits the Five Star out of nowhere for the pin.  Has he been taking lessons from Sting in how to finish a match out of nowhere?

Rating: C+. Not a bad match but the majority of it was just like any other match.  Lynn turning mid match is definitely a good thing because face vs. face gets very boring in a hurry.  I still don’t get the appeal of this pair but I kind of liked this one better than their ECW stuff because it wasn’t as sloppy.  Started slow but it was getting much better at the end.

Jack Evans quotes Eminem and says this is his chance.

Austin Aries vs. Low Ki vs. Zema Ion vs. Jack Evans

 

Christy of course messes up something, in this case Aries’ entrance.  We get some clips of their qualifying matches during each guy’s entrance.  Winner gets a contract of course.  No tagging here thank goodness.  Aries gets a quick two count on Ion as the fans chant “everybody.”  Aries and Low Ki (Kaval for the uneducated) square off and Evans starts flipping.

Spin kick by Evans gets two on Ion.  Low Ki takes over again and hammers on Evans in the corner.  Aries takes Low Ki down and uses some Hogan in late 90s offense for some reason.  He beats up everyone but takes a triple dropkick to send him down.  Evans starts flipping again and hits a dropsault to get two on Ion.  Ion gets his turn to be on offense and gets a bunch of two counts.

Aries takes Ion down and has another showdown with Low Ki.  After getting attacked they both throw submissions on the guys that jumped them.  They manage to yell insults at each other while they have the holds.  Ok that was cool.  With the others outside they argue again and chop it out.  Aries loads up the brainbuster but Low Ki escapes and gets a big kick to Aries’ back.  Evans and Ion are back in now and Ion gets a knee to Evans’ face for two.  Pendulum elbow gets two for Aries.

Ion clears the ring and takes over but Aries stops a dive.  Aries tries a suicide dive but Low Ki gets a fast kick up to send him flying backwards.  Evans comes in and flips a lot but spins around too much as Aries takes him down with a spinning forarm.  The fans chant sign them all.  Ion and Aries are the only ones up right now.  Aries gets a neckbreaker on the rope to put Ion down.  Low Ki gets a cartwheel into a kick to knock Aries off the top and also get two.

Evans blocks a Warrior’s Way to Aries with a rana, getting two.  He calls for the 630 but Ion breaks it up.  Ion hits the 450 on Low Ki but Aries makes the save.  Using the distraction, Evans fires off the 630 but eats knees.  Aries hammers on Evans and hits the brainbuster on Low Ki to win the contract.  Probably the best choice.

Rating: B. Can’t really complain here as this was what the X-Division was built on.  The fans got their flips and probably the best possible outcome here with Aries arguably being the best guy here.  I’d expect to see all of them again in the future which is probably the best thing, especially with how weak the division has been lately.  Fun match.

Aries asks Val if she’s surprised.  He takes the contract and leaves.

Abyss talks about the Art of War and how he’ll keep the title.  He implies he ate his missing teeth.

We recap Abyss vs. Kendrick.  Abyss took the title in an attempt to kill the division and Kendrick is fighting for the honor and tradition of it or something.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Abyss

 

Kendrick fires away at the legs to start and that gets him nowhere.  A cross body is totally no sold which is a cool visual.  Kendrick hammers away but none of it’s working.  Chokeslam is teased but Kendrick bites the fingers to escape.  Kendrick is sent to the floor as Abyss asks if this is it.  Fan: “Nobody likes you Abyss!”  Abyss keeps hammering back in the ring and stops to read a few pages.

Kendrick keeps kicking at the legs and that doesn’t work at all.  Instead Abyss hammers him down in the corner as this has more or less been one sided.  Time for more reading!  A right hand makes him drop the book and apparently that was enough to open him up.  Abyss is all ticked off and Kendrick is able to fight back, hitting a dropkick to send him to the floor.

Back in the ring and Kendrick gets a missile dropkick for two.  Sliced Bread is countered into Shock Treatment which gets two.  Ref is bumped in a really stupid looking spot.  Sliced Bread hits but there’s no referee.  Here’s Bischoff to solid heat.  He yells at Kendrick who decks him.  Immortal runs out and the beating is on.

The X guys run out and get tossed with ease.  They get Kendrick on his own and here are more X guys to fight Immortal.  They clear the ring as I REALLY hope the match doesn’t continue after this.  The ring is cleared out and a chokeslam is countered into a victory roll for Kendrick to win the title.  You know, because the referee didn’t notice FIFTEEN PEOPLE IN THE RING.  Confetti goes off but we’ve got another match to go because Brian Kendrick can’t win a main event match.

Rating: C. Match was pretty boring and despite one of the dumbest moments I’ve ever seen and that this match should have ended the show PERIOD, this was a solid feel good moment and absolutely had to happen on this show.  Otherwise this wouldn’t have made a bit of sense.  It worked though and while the match was boring, the ending worked, lack of common sense aside.

Video on AJ vs. Daniels which I’m sure you’ve gotten the point of in all the talking they’ve done already.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

 

Apparently the winner is best X-Division Wrestler EVER, despite AJ’s resume blowing Daniels’ away.  Christy does big match intros again.  Apparently these two named their kids after each other.  That’s borderline creepy.  The latest chant: “Wrestling. YAY!  Hulk Hogan.  Boo!”  Give me a break.  Lots of basic back and forth stuff to start with them knowing each other really well being the idea.

AJ works the arm a bit and they speed it up quickly.  Both guys work the arm and it comes down to another stalemate after about 5 minutes.  They shake hands and AJ puts another armbar on.  The fans are split again.  They speed things up and Daniels hits the floor.  They have a TON of time here so this is going to be a very slow build.  Daniels keeps trying to speed things up but AJ keeps going with the armbar.

They slowly start cranking things up as Daniels takes over.  He works AJ over for a good while but AJ sends him to the floor, adding in a plancha that looked almost like Delirious’ Shadows Over Hell.  Back inside now and AJ hammers away again.  AJ works on the arm AGAIN but at least is using a Fujiwara Armbar here.  Helps a lot when they mix things up.  Out to the apron and AJ counters into a suplex on the apron.

Daniels takes over on the floor.  Back in he chops away at the back and gets a neckbreaker for two.  Pinfall reversal sequence ends in AJ being caught in a Crossface.  Death Valley Driver gets two and Daniels is getting frustrated.  They chop it out and AJ hits an enziguri to put both guys down.  AJ slips off the top and crashes down, letting Daniels get two.  Daniels goes up but gets caught in a Torture Rack which AJ spins out into a powerbomb for two.

Bad Downward Spiral by Daniels sets up the Koji Clutch to AJ.  They’re getting tired here.  AJ makes the rope as this probably needs to end soon.  Daniels uses his variety of strikes but still can’t pin him.  The tape finally comes off Daniels’ arms which is good as it had been dangling for awhile.  AJ snap mares him off the top for two.  He can’t get Angel’s Wings or the Clash (AJ can’t that is) so Daniels hits an STO and release Rock Bottom but the BME eats boot.

Styles Clash out of nowhere gets two as this is nearly half an hour long now.  Angel’s Wings gets two and Daniels is ticked.  They fight to the corner but Daniels can’t hit the Angel’s Wings from up there.  AJ busts out the Spiral Tap but it doesn’t look as good as it usually does.  That’s enough for the pin though at nearly half an hour.

Rating: B. Another good match here but I don’t think it got as epic as they were hoping.  It was one of the longest matches I can ever remember in TNA but at the same time they got sloppy later on in it.  It was good, but I still think the title match should have closed the show.  I’ve never been a big fan of these matches but they’re usually pretty good.  Good choice to end the show, but it’s not like it means anything more than bragging rights.  Also this went too long and the fans were losing interest late in it.

Daniels won’t shake his hand post match.  Ok yes he will.  And that’s it.

Overall Rating: B. This is a very subjective grade and I won’t defend it that much because some people will love it, some will hate it and some will find it at every point in between.  The idea was an all X-Division PPV and they certainly did that.  However, the first probably hour or so was just average at best.  The three main matches delivered, but the match order didn’t work for me.

With the story coming in being Bischoff wanting to kill the X-Division, having the X-Division overcome him should have been the main event and closing scene of the show.  The fourway was good and what the X-Division is built upon.  The main event was good as well and even very good at times.  All around this show worked and was a great showcase of the X Division, but it’s not a blow away show like I think they were shooting for.

The main problem is that this isn’t a show that I would predict meaning much.  It’ll probably be referenced for a few weeks and some of the guys will say how they showed how awesome it was, and then the division will go right back to what it was: a title match thrown on here and there and an occasional bonus match on PPV as an opener.  That’s the nature of the beast though and it’s more or less reality.  That’s probably what hurts this the most, but there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Results

Kazarian b. Samoa Joe – Rollup

Douglas Williams b. Mark Haskins – Pin after a missed shooting star press

Eric Young/Shark Boy b. Generation Me – Wheelbarrow suplex into a neckbreaker to Max Buck

Alex Shelley b. Robbie E, Shannon Moore and Amazing Red – Shelley pulled down the X

Rob Van Dam b. Jerry Lynn – Five Star Frog Splash

Austin Aries b. Zema Ion, Jack Evans and Low Ki – Brainbuster to Low Ki

Brian Kendrick b. Abyss – Victory Roll

AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Spiral Tap




Thoughts On Destination X

I’m going to try to do this either the Friday or Saturday before every PPV.

What do expect for Destination X?

My thoughts:

The last few weeks of Impact have been far better than usual and that’s mainly due to the better pacing of the show.  At the same time the majority of the focus being on the X-Division and random talent that hasn’t been seen in a long time if ever at all.  This should be a fun show, but what I wonder is what’s going to happen once this show passes.  I’d bet they’re just going to go back to business as usual after mentioning Destination X and how awesome it is a few times, which is annoying but probably the best idea overall.  As for match predictions, I’ll take the following:  Abyss over Kendrick  Styles over Daniels  Joe over Kaz (not sure on this one at all)  RVD over Lynn  Zima Ion to win the contract (total hunch here)   As for the fourway, I’ll take Shelley with no real reason.

Your thoughts?




Impact Wrestling – May 26, 2011 – Screw This Company. Or Maybe Just Velvet.

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 26, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the second week of Impact Wrestling and hopefully tonight we’ll have a bit more actual wrestling rather than last week when there was as much on a regular episode of Impact.  Anyway we’re also going to have some more advance in the Sting vs. Anderson feud as last week Anderson laid the champion out.  Also if I remember right we’re going to get Hogan and Foley again tonight which is rather fun.  Anyway, let’s get to it.

An opening graphic says in memory of Randy Savage.  Classy.

Sting talks about being champion and we get a clip of Anderson jumping him last week as the old Sting.

We actually start with a match, called a tag team competition by Christy.

Tommy Dreamer/Bully Ray vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

 

This is a street fight.  Tonight there’s going to be something called the Scorpion Sitdown which is Sting’s interview segment.  AJ is still in a neckbrace so he can barely move here.  This is a smaller one though and looks like a big pad.  We start on the floor in a big brawl.  Ray vs. Daniels is going on at ringside while Dreamer and AJ head into the crowd.  AJ manages to throw Dreamer off a small balcony and dives on him to take out both guys.  Daniels busts out some weapons in the ring and beats Ray down with them.

BME eats a boot as at least AJ is back at ringside.  Rock Bottom gets two for Ray but he walks into a Pele.  Dreamer is back in the ring also.  The neck brace comes off as Immortal takes over.  Neckbreaker hits for Ray and Dreamer adds one of his own.  Daniels is still down so this is more or less open season on AJ.  Daniels goes down again as they keep showing replays.  Daniels gets back in time to break up a spike Piledriver and kills Ray with a kendo stick.  Spike Piledriver with Daniels doing the spiking ends Dreamer at 5:00.

Rating: C. Not bad for a brawl here but how weak does Immortal look when they can’t even beat a guy with a bad neck after working on his neck?  Anyway not bad but I kind of wonder what the point is in having AJ doing an injury angle when he can wrestle through it without any real issues.  Either way, nice to start off with a match.

Hogan is here.

Time for the Scorpion Sitdown and it’s Anderson as Sting.  Nothing like a talking segment on a WRESTLING show right?  Anderson says that it’s a sitdown because he’s too old to wrestle.  Remember that he’s talking as Sting.  His guest: Disco Inferno.  He’s a guy that was with Sting throughout WCW despite them never interacting that I remember.  Disco doesn’t get why he’s here but he’ll tell Anderson the truth about Sting.

Anderson randomly shouts during Disco’s talk and Disco gets ticked off at him.  Disco says that whether you liked Sting or not, he commanded respect.  Everyone grew up loving him and that’s all there is to it.  Anderson gets all annoyed and says that Disco is here to bury Sting and that’s the entire point.  Disco wants to know why Anderson is a jerk.  He even says it into the mic and gets up.  And there’s a Mic to the head and a Mic Check to Disco.  The real Sting comes off to run Anderson off.

Eric Young, still with the TV Title, goes into a bathroom and Gunner jumps him but Young has an idea.  Young will lay down tonight and Gunner will get the TV Title belt back while Young will get his old world title back.  Young leaves and Gunner calls him an idiot.

Velvet calls out ODB, saying she’s got a little explaining to do.  Well she looks better than Desi Arnaz.  ODB comes out and says Velvet got her fired last year.  Velvet says she’s worked her way here and ODB says she’s gotten here on her back.  Since Velvet hasn’t ever even been Knockouts Champion she must not be that good in the sack.  ODB drills her and the beating is on.  Velvet more or less runs and Velvet still doesn’t get what’s going on.

Video on RVD vs. Angle tonight which they’re trying to make seem like a huge level match.

Back from a break and we recap the ending to last week’s show with Roode having his arm destroyed by Immortal.

Beer Money is in Bischoff’s office and the doctor says Roode is kind of iffy about being able to wrestle.  They have a tag title match at Slammiversary and it’s 30 days for a defense so if the titles aren’t defended the belts will be stripped.  Storm says it’s a torn pectoral so he won’t be cleared in three weeks.  Bischoff has to know by the end of next week and says he might appoint a replacement.  Bischoff suggests that the Hillbilly Jesus (Storm) go get some manure and put it on Roode’s arm to heal it.  Storm threatens Bischoff and Bischoff says do it and you’ll never work again.  The champs leave and that’s that.

We actually get a clip from Xplosion where Pope hit on D-Von’s wife and D-Von wasn’t happy with it.  Pope says D-Von needs to chill.

Angle is with Morgan in the back as I guess wrestling matters so much they’re afraid to have any of it in case it gets wasted.  Angle says watch out for Karen.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Matt Morgan

 

I guess the competition thing is going to be a regular thing.  Supposed to sound real perhaps?  Karen is on crutches and looks very good in blue.  Before the match Jeff grabs a chair to give Karen something to sit in.  Earl doesn’t like it and throws Karen out.  Oh wait he’s allowing Karen to sit but she has to sit at the end of the ramp.  Jeff gets a thumb to the eye very early and hits a top rope cross body for two.

That goes nowhere and it’s time for the elbows in the corner to give Morgan control.  Side slam gets two.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Jeff works on the leg.  Fallaway Slam gets two as another cross body doesn’t work.  Karen comes down to ringside as Morgan gets a Michinoku Driver of all things for two.

And never mind as Karen gives him the crutch and a shot with that sets up the Stroke for only two.  Thought that was the ending.  Jeff jumps into a chokeslam but Morgan instead shifts into an atomic drop.  Carbon Footprint hits but Karen hits Hebner in the knee with the crutch.  Scott Steiner comes in and hits a Downward Spiral to Morgan and that’s good for the pin at 3:06.  Dang it I have to rate it.

Rating: D+. More or less nothing here but the nice little swerve there was pretty good as I thought the Stroke would end it.  Steiner vs. Morgan is nothing I’m fired up about seeing as it seems like a step down for Morgan as he was talking about wanting the world title.  Either way though, not a terrible match but WAY too short with way too much going on in just three minutes.

We recap Foley being revealed as Network Executive and Bischoff going after the X-Division last week.

Bischoff is in the ring and is all smiley.  Apparently Hogan had a great week with the network last week in New York as Bischoff predicted.  Here’s Hogan who is the leader of Impact Wrestling apparently.  Hogan says that the Network has given him authority to run this show.  Oh joy.  He pitched a bunch of ideas to the executives so now they think he’s a genius.  Hogan wants to talk about Bischoff for a minute because he’s proud of what Bischoff did to the X-Division.

Here’s Foley who doesn’t need an invitation apparently because he’s a network executive.  All Hogan did was tick the Network off apparently because after Hogan left, Foley explained that the X Division put it on the map and we’re going to expand it.  He’s going to go around the world finding new X-Division talent for an Ultimate X match.  Oh and Foley has power regarding PPV because they promote the PPVs.  Wouldn’t that give them control over all of the companies that advertise on Spike TV?

Hogan says Foley should do something for the X-Division tonight, like challenge for the X-Division Title.  Bischoff gets WAY too excited about that but before Foley can answer here’s Brian Kendrick and his X buddies.  He talks in his poetic speak and more or less asks for Foley’s title shot tonight.  They’re here to get rid of the reptilians that have acquired power apparently.  This was very tedious to say the least.

Winter is rubbing Angelina’s back and says that everything is about to change and they’re going to fulfill the promise they made to each other in another lifetime.  I shutter to think where this is going to go.

Winter vs. Mickie James

 

Non-Title here.  Tenay acknowledges that the Winter/Angelina thing goes back centuries, which makes me think this is going to get very stupid very fast.  Northern Lights Suplex gets two for Winter as she takes over.  Scratch that as Mickie gets a snapmare and a seated dropkick to set up a rana out of the corner.  Flapjack sets up a nipup and after countering the spin out Rock Bottom Mickie hits the jumping DDT for the pin at 2:18.  No rating due to shortness but this was just a step ahead of a squash.

Angelina destroys Mickie post match due to Winter having some blood on her chin.

Abyss says he’s going to destroy Kendrick tonight.  He’s reading Art of War again and has Janice with him.  Someone with long hair that we can’t see jump him.  Oh it’s Kaz and he takes Janice with him.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Abyss

 

Abyss is all banged up due to the attack by Kaz.  Kendrick dives through the ropes with a kick that kind of hits to get us going.  Abyss charges into the steps and we go into the ring.  Amazingly enough they actually reference Abyss being a former world champion and say he’s the second Grand Slam winner.  I haven’t heard them reference that reign in years.

Abyss takes over and crushes Kendrick in the corner with an avalanche.  The beatdown commences but Kendrick counters a gorilla press slam and fires off some dropkicks.  Missile dropkick puts him down for two.  Brian goes up again but gets knocked off as Abyss hits the ropes.  Black Hole Slam and we’re done at 4:13.

Rating: D+. Not much here at all as Kendrick looks like a jobber all over again.  I guess we’re waiting on some savior of the X-Division to pop up, which might be AJ or Kaz.  Either way, something tells me Abyss is going to be champion and destroy random people for a few weeks to come.  Not horrible, but really nothing here at all.

Abyss rants about the Art of War some more.

Same RVD vs. Angle video from earlier.

Angle says the main event is a big match.

TV Title: Eric Young vs. Gunner

 

Young has the title itself because Gunner stole back the wrong belt last week.  I guess the whole “one is black and one is red” thing is too hard to keep track of.  They reenact the Fingerpoke of Doom but Young rolls him up for the pin and the title at 32 seconds.  Whatever man, whatever.

The Jarretts come out for the main event on commentary.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

 

We also get big match intros to kill even more time.  Jeff talks about how RVD is his handpicked opponent as RVD kicks Angle to the floor.  RVD hammers away but walks into a suplex.  A snap variety gets two for Kurt and we hit a reverse grip to waste some time.  They majority of this match is spent on a split screen so we can see the Jarretts talk while the wrestlers lay around.  RVD gets his top rope kick for two.  Angle gets a slam and both guys go down.

There’s been more laying around in this match than actual wrestling.  Ankle lock goes on and RVD is thinking about tapping.  He kicks out of it but the Five Star misses.  Angle Slam actually gets the fall on the first attempt at 7:36.  Yes, this epic five star first time ever main event didn’t even make it 8 minutes and is the longest match of the night so far.  Give me a break.

Rating: C-. This was built up as being an epic match and it was about 8 minutes of them laying around pretending that this was a huge match.  The camera was on the Jarretts about half the match which isn’t helping anyone at all.  Weak main event and the proper ending to one of the worst shows I can remember in a very long time.

Overall Rating: F+. I absolutely could not stand this show.  The wrestling was bad, nothing really was advanced, and the whole wrestling matters concept was more or less thrown out completely.  This was a terribly dull show as they had forty minutes between the first two matches and twenty between the second and third.  There’s no reason to have them just talk that entire time.  The main event was just ok after all that buildup and that doesn’t make up for two hours of nonsense before it.  Terrible show with more or less nothing happening at all.  The longest match was 7:36.  Let that sink in for a bit.

Results

Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles b. Bully Ray/Tommy Dreamer – Spike Piledriver to Dreamer

Jeff Jarrett b. Matt Morgan – Pin after a Downward Spiral from Scott Steiner

Mickie James b. Winter – Jumping DDT

Abyss b. Brian Kendrick – Black Hole Slam

Eric Young b. Gunner – Small Package

Kurt Angle b. Rob Van Dam – Angle Slam