Impact Wrestling/NJPW Multiverse United 2: Now For A Very Special Feature

Multiverse United 2: For Whom The Bell Tolls
Date: August 20, 2023
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan, Veda Scott

This is a special show as it’s a battle between Impact Wrestling and New Japan. The original version was held over Wrestlemania weekend and now we could be in for a cool sequel. This includes a main event of Alex Shelley defending the Impact Wrestling World Title against Hiroshi Tanahashi. Let’s get to it.

Note that I do not follow New Japan incredibly closely so I apologize for missing any characters, plot points etc.

Kickoff Show: Joe Hendry/Heath/Yuya Uemura vs. Master Wato/Rocky Romero/Ryusuke Taguchi

Heath and Romero start things off with Heath hitting an atomic drop into a clothesline. Taguchi comes in for the double stomping in the corner but it’s Heath coming in for some dancing. A hip attack drops Heath though and it’s Hendry coming in to face Wato. This doesn’t work for the Impact guys either, as Wato gets in a double bulldog and sends them outside.

Back in and Hendry chops away at Wato before hitting a delayed suplex for two. Uemura comes in for a slam as things settle down into the standard rotating beatdown. Hendry’s chinlock doesn’t last long as Wato fights up and brings Romero back in to pick up the pace. Hendry fall away slams Romero and Wato at the same time, allowing the double tag to Uemura and Taguchi. Everything breaks down and Uemura hits a high crossbody for the pin at 10:21.

Rating: C+. Nice way to start here with three fun Impact stars getting a win to warm up the crowd. Hendry and Uemura seem to be gearing up for a tag team run and Heath can work well in any midcard spot. The New Japan guys were treated as stars here too, with Wato being a near buzzsaw at times. Entertaining opener and that’s as good as you can expect.

Impact – 1
NJPW – 0

Kickoff Show: Digital Media Title: Yoshinobu Kanemaru vs. Kenny King

King is defending. Feeling out process to start with Kanemaru cranking on a headlock before hurting himself on a shoulder block. The headlock works a bit better, at least until King breaks it up and stomps away, setting up a camel clutch. Back up and King misses a charge in the corner, allowing Kanemaru to hammer away a bit more. A DDT plants King for two, followed by a moonsault for the same. King spinebusters him for two more before ducking the miss. A kick to the head sets up the Royal Flush to retain the title at 6:51.

Rating: C. They kept this relatively short as it was mainly a way to get a title match on the show. King’s title is about as low down as you can get in Impact and having him defend against a former champion like Kanemaru makes sense. The match itself was fine enough and that’s really all it needed to be for the spot they were in.

Impact – 2
NJPW – 0

The opening video looks at some of the bigger matches. Rather simple here and nothing wrong with that.

Chris Sabin vs. Kevin Knight vs. Frankie Kazarian vs. Bushi vs. Yoh vs. Rich Swann vs. Mao vs. El Desperado

Everyone in at once, one fall to a finish. We get a quick eight man lockup before they pair off and go outside. Naturally this means some dives until it’s off to Mao (who dances a lot) vs. Swann, the latter of whom kicks him in the ribs. Yoh comes in to clear the ring without much effort but Knight hits him with a spinning splash for two.

Sabin is in with a missile dropkick to Knight before getting taken down by Kazarian. Desperado and Mao are back in to clean house in a hurry until Mao punches him in the mask, as you probably guessed was coming. We get the eight man submission chain until the referee breaks it up for using the rope (Rehwoldt: “Using the rope was the most ridiculous part of that.”).

Everyone beats down Bushi before they go after Swann with running splashes in the corner. A Tower Of Doom bring Swann down again and Knight comes off the top for two. Kazarian sends Knight to the apron and pulls him back in with a cutter, setting off the parade of knockdowns. Sabin drops Yoh and Knight at the same time before hitting the Cradle Shock to finish Yoh at 8:24.

Rating: B-. I never know what to say in a match like this, as it’s all over the place and complete insanity, with a big parade of spots and dives. That being said, it can be fun to see something like this, as it’s nonstop action until someone gets the win. They also did the right thing in keeping it relatively short, which can be a huge problem in matches like this. Fun opener, as they’re certainly starting fast.

Impact – 3
NJPW – 0

Post match Desperado mists Sabin to blow off some steam. And some mist.

TMDK vs. Team Impact

That would be Zack Sabre Jr./Shane Haste vs. Moose/Eddie Edwards for your wacky Impact team of the night. Eddie and Sabre start things off with Sabre wasting no time in going after the arm. Haste comes in for two off a dropkick and it’s already back to Sabre to work on the arm again. Eddie gets in a shot to Haste and hands it back to Moose, who gets two off Eddie’s backpack Stunner.

The Impact guys take turns chopping at Haste, who gets slammed down to make it worse. Haste kicks his way to freedom though and brings Sabre back in. Moose is low bridged to the floor and an armbar over the rope has Eddie in trouble again. A PK hits Eddie, who pops back up with a Blue Thunder Bomb for a double knockdown. Haste and Moose come back in, with the former armdragging his way out of a release Rock Bottom.

The second attempt works but Sabre is back up with a tornado DDT to Moose. Eddie drops Sabre and everyone is down again. Back up and Sabre slugs it out with Moose, with Sabre pulling him into a choke. Eddie makes the save and hits the Boston Knee Party to Sabre. Haste rolls Moose up for two but the spear gives Moose the pin at 13:23.

Rating: B. This was another rather solid match and it was cool to see a makeshift team hang with and even beat an established pairing. Haste taking the fall to a former Impact World Champion is hardly some big slap in the face, though this was quite the upset. If nothing else, Sabre didn’t get to snap any limbs!

Impact – 4
NJPW – 0

Video on the four way for the New Japan Strong Women’s Title.

New Japan Strong Women’s Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Momo Kohgo vs. Gisele Shaw vs. Giulia

Giulia is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Purrazzo and Giulia grab headlocks to start but get broken up for a staredown just as fast. Everyone goes or a rollup and I’s another four way showdown. Shaw brags a bit too much and gets dropkicked to the floor, leaving Purrazzo to dropkick the other two. Momo is back up with a superkick for two on Giulia, with Shaw making the save.

Shaw takes Momo and Giulia down and covers both of them in a row for rapid fire near falls. Deonna pulls Giulia to the floor so Momo can hit a big dive before Shaw goes after Giulia for a change. Back in and Giulia butterfly superplexes Shaw, leaving to a four way knockdown. They pair off for the stereo forearm exchanges until Shaw’s spear misses Purrazzo and hits Giulia by mistake.

An assisted Backstabber puts Momo down again but Shaw gives Purrazzo a super Spanish Fly. Momo makes the save, leaving Purrazzo to Queen’s Gambit Giulia and Shaw. Purrazzo and Shaw grab stereo submissions but stop o fight each other. Giulia is back up and hits a northern lights bomb on Shaw to retain at 12:25.

Rating: B-. Another title match to make the show feel more special and in this case it went well. The more I see of Giulia in the ring the more obvious it is that she is a star. It’s a good idea to feature someone like that and Shaw has lost enough that another one isn’t going to do much damage. Purrazzo vs. Giulia down the line could be a heck of a showdown and that might be the case eventually. For now though, I’ll take a Giulia showcase.

Impact – 4
NJPW – 1

Sami Callihan vs. Douki

Before the match, Sami says we’re missing the extreme around here so let’s make this a street fight. Douki agrees and wastes no time in knocking him outside before putting Sami in a chair. The kick from the apron takes too long though and as a result, Sami throws in a bunch of weapons.

Back in and Sami whips out an 8×10 of himself and paper cuts Douki’s fingers, followed by the arm pit. A t-bone suplex sends Douki onto a chair, which Sami loads into the corner. That takes too long and Douki sends him into it instead, meaning it’s time for a kendo stick. Some shots to Sami let Douki stack the chairs on him, setting up a top rope double stomp.

Sami is back up with a neckbreaker onto the chair for two before it’s time for a ladder. Douki manages to send him into said ladder though and a slingshot X Factor gets two. The Douki Driver is countered and the Cactus Driver 97 gives Sami two. Sami loads up four chairs and they climb onto them, with a Cactus Driver 97 sending Douki into them for the pin at 12:42.

Rating: C. Pretty basic hardcore match here and since they’re in Philadelphia, it would almost have been insane to not include something similar. Sami is the right choice for a match like this too, as he might not be the most polished in the ring, but he knows how to do this kind of thing. Douki more than held up his end, but it was just a bunch of the same stuff we’ve seen far too many times over the years.

Impact – 5
NJPW – 1

Kosei Fujita/Robbie Eagles vs. TJP/Francisco Akira

Akira and Fujita go to the mat to start and neither can get very far. Back up and Fujita chops Akira up against the ropes but TJP comes in off a blind tag for a double dropkick. Eagles comes in with a dropkick of his own for two on Akira before Fujita grabs a quickly broken leglock.

It’s back to TJP for a facewash in the corner, followed by a dropkick to put Fujita down again. That doesn’t last long a the hot tag brings in Eagles for the rapid fire house cleaning. The running knees in the corner get two on Akira and the Ron Miller Special (leglock) makes it worse.

TJP makes the save before being sent outside but Akira is back up with a poisonrana. A top rope double stomp/reverse DDT combination puts Fujita down for two and the Mamba splash gets the same. Eagles superkicks Fujita by mistake though and something like a 3D puts Fujita down again. Stereo running knees finish for TJP at 11:30.

Rating: C+. This was the showcase match for New Japan and that isn’t a bad idea. There was enough good action here to make the match interesting, with TJP and Akira coming off more like a successful team than Fujita and Eagles. Solid fast paced match here though and I could go or more of TJP and Akira.

Mike Bailey is ready to challenge Hiromu Takahashi for IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title but tonight, they’re teaming together.

Bullet Club vs. The World

Bullet Club: David Finlay, Chris Bey, Ace Austin, Alex Coughlin, Kenta, Clark Connors
The World: Josh Alexander, PCO, Tanga Loa, Tama Tonga, DKC, El Phantasmo

Finlay spits at Tama to start and quickly send him outside for the big beatdown. Back in and PCO chops it out with Coughlin with the latter somehow managing a gutwrench suplex. Coughlin is sent outside for the big beatdown from the World as everything breaks down. Back in and DKC runs Connors over until a powerslam takes him down.

Finlay comes in for some rapid fire shoulders in the corner but DKC kicks his way to freedom. The big tag brings Alexander in (first time in five months) to clean house but Austin/Bey kick him down. It’s off to Kenta for some kicks to the back and Austin drops a leg for two. Alexander suplexes Austin and Bey, allowing the tag off to Phantasmo.

Everything breaks down and Finlay is surrounded so the beatdown can be on. DKC’s frog splash gets two but the Club makes the save. Kenta’s GTS to Alexander is countered into an ankle lock, which is broken up as well. PCO dives onto them and then hits a big dive onto the pile. Back in and Finlay hits a quick powerbomb to finish DKC at 14:08.

Rating: B-. This was similar to the opener with all of the chaos and everyone doing their thing at various times. The good thing is that they managed to have more of a structure this time around, with the Club getting the big win, as they should have earned. What mattered here was getting a bunch of people onto the show at once and it was one step away from being total chaos, which makes it pretty engaging stuff.

Impact – 5
NJPW – 2

Mike Bailey/Hiromu Takahashi vs. Lio Rush/Trey Miguel

Takahashi and Miguel start things off with Miguel telling the crowd to be quiet so he can stomp away in the corner in silence. Bailey comes in to trade dodges with Rush and hit a dropkick on Miguel. We settle down to Miguel missing a charge in the corner and getting dragon screw legwhipped by Rush.

Bailey’s running shooting star press gets two but Miguel suplexes his way to freedom. Everything breaks down and Bailey moonsaults onto Rush on the floor. Back in and Rush avoids the Ultimate Weapon, meaning Miguel and Takahashi get to chop it out. Takahashi gets double kicked down until Bailey makes the save.

The Lightning Spiral is countered into Takahashi’s pop up powerbomb and Miguel is rocked. The Ultimate Weapon into a Regal Roll gets two with Rush making the save. Rush hits Rush Hour for two on Takahashi, leaving Miguel to Meteora Bailey on the floor. Back in and Rush counters the Time Bomb and hits Takahashi low, allowing a rollup to give Rush the pin at 14:30.

Rating: B. This has been the night of letting people go nuts throughout their match and that is where these people shine. The ending could set up a champion vs. champion (X-Division vs. Junior Heavyweight) and that could be a big showdown at some point. Letting talented people fly around and showcase themselves is always a good idea and that’s what they did here at a pretty high level.

Impact – 6
NJPW – 2

Post match Rush says he wants the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title shot but Bailey brings up asking for the shot, which Takahashi granted.

Quick video on the main event, which is both for the title and teacher vs. student.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley, Tanahashi’s former student, is defending. Tanahashi takes him into the corner to start and we get an early standoff. A headlock takeover frustrates Shelley a bit, though the air guitar might soothe him a bit. Shelley has to fight his way out of the headlock and gets to the middle rope for a knee to the arm.

The cranking on the arm ensues until Shelley gets taken down, with his knee being sent into the post. Tanahashi starts working on the knee but a slingshot stomp to the arm cuts him right back off. Shelley works on the arm outside and then again on the apron as he certainly has a target. Tanahashi gets in another shot to the knee but Shelley slugs away and hits a running forearm.

The standing Sliced Bread sets up the Border City Stretch to keep Tanahashi down for a change, but the foot in the rope makes the save. That means a dragon screw legwhip over the rope can put Shelley down again. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on but Shelley escapes and knocks him down again.

They slug it out with Tanahashi getting the better of things until three straight Twist and Shouts take Shelley down. The Sling Blade gets two but Shelley avoids the High Fly Flow. A running knee and ripcord clothesline give Shelley two so Tanahashi German suplexes him for the same. They head up top with Shelley Air Raid Crashing him back down before Shell Shock retains the title at 18:53.

Rating: B. This felt like a title match, as it came off like two stars fighting over a prize. While Tanahashi is definitely a few steps slower than he used to be, there is enough talent there to let him wrestle a good match with the right opponent. Shelley might not be setting the world on fire as champion, but you’re going to get a well wrestled match against any opponent. In other words, he is a perfectly acceptable placeholder and that’s not the worst place to be. Good main event.

Impact – 7
NJPW – 2

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like a rather cool DVD extra, as it doesn’t change storylines in any meaningful way. Instead, it was a nice showcase of the Impact stars against some midcard names from another company. You don’t need to watch it to keep up with what was going on, but you’ll have a good time with the whole thing, even if it’s about three and a half hours counting Kickoff Show. Pretty easy watch though, with a rather surprising final score too.

Results
Joe Hendry/Yuya Uemura/Heath b. Master Wato/Ryusuke Taguchi/Rocky Romero – High crossbody to Taguchi
Kenny King b. Yoshinobu Kanemaru – Royal Flush
Chris Sabin b. Kevin Knight, Frankie Kazarian, Bushi, Yoh, Rich Swann, Mao and El Desperado – Cradle Shock to Yoh
Moose/Eddie Edwards b. TMDK – Spear to Haste
Giulia b. Deonna Purrazzo, Momo Kohgo and Gisele Shaw – Northern lights bomb to Shaw
Sami Callihan b. Douki – Cactus Driver 97 onto a pile of chairs
TJP/Francisco Akira b. Kosei Fujita/Robbie Eagles – Double knees to Fujita
Bullet Club b. The World – Powerbomb to DKC
Lio Rush/Trey Miguel b. Mike Bailey/Hiromu Takahashi – Rollup to Takahashi
Alex Shelley b. Hiroshi Tanahashi – Shell Shock

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – August 10, 2023: Keep It Going

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 10, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re still on the way to Emergence and the card is starting to come together. That being said, we also have Multiverse United coming up in less than two weeks and that card could use some build of its own. Other than that, we have a new monster heel group, though Lio Rush might not be all in. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Tag Team #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Rich Swann/Sami Callihan vs. Bullet Club

Bey takes Swann into the corner to start so Austin can hit a running kick in the corner. Swann gets over to Sami for the tag though and it’s the shoulder breaker into a kick to Austin’s head. Bey is kicked down and the Cactus Driver drops Austin on the apron as the Club is in early trouble.

Bey gets in a shot of his own to put Callihan down and we take a break. Back with Swann being knocked to the floor but Bey’s clothesline hits post. The tag brings Callihan in for a Death Valley Driver before it’s already back to Swann. Bey’s brainbuster is escaped and Austin kicks Bey in the head by mistake.

That doesn’t seem to matter as Swann is sent outside for a double superkick to Callihan. 1-2-Sweet gets two with Swann making a diving save. Austin hits a spinning kick to Callihan’s head and adds a double stomp but cue the Good Hands to break up the cover. Austin gets dropped by Skyler and Callihan (who didn’t see Skyler) hits the Cactus Driver for the pin at 15:16.

Rating: B-. Nice match here, though Austin being fine after a Cactus Driver on the apron was the required eye roll inducing spot. Other than that, this already makes things equal to or even more interesting than anything WWE has had in its tag division in a few months. There are actual teams having issues and a story here, which is more than a lot of places have to offer. Good action too and that makes for a solid opener.

Santino Marella is in the back when the Coven comes in to interrupt (Wilde: “Just the muggle we’re looking for.”). They want the next shot at the Knockouts Tag Team Titles, but here are the Death Dollz to say they want the shot instead. Reasons of “we’re awesome” don’t convince him, so they have a huddle. Santino joins the huddle, and suggests listing off some of their previous wins. Jessicka lists them off, in a Santino accent, and Santino thinks about it. Cue MK Ultra, to say they’ll take them all. This was hilarious.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Dirty Dango

Alpha Bravo is here with Dango. Gujjar takes him into the corner to start but Dango elbows him in the face. Some knees to the back set up a chinlock but Gujjar fights up and gets two off a spinebuster. Bravo breaks up the Gargoyle Spear though and Dango hits a reverse layout DDT for the pin at 3:54.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go very far but it’s good to see Dango getting some wins. I’m not sure how well he fits with Bravo, but at least Dango has a goon with him, which feels rather appropriate. Other than that, Gujjar continues to be a person who exists and not much more, which is kind of a shame as he isn’t bad.

Post match Dango insults the fans until Jake Something interrupts. Something doesn’t like hearing how much Dango hates wrestling so he can get out of here He threatens to make Dango leave but it doesn’t get that far, as Dango leaves on his own. Dango tries a cheap shot and is quickly knocked outside.

The Design talks about Eric Young running off for greener pastures and then coming back. Deaner is NOT a failure and Young will be destroyed.

Johnny Swinger thinks Simon Diamond is back but gets interrupted by Kenny King and Sheldon Jean. King says Swinger is old and talks about how being the Digital Medical Champion means more than being the World Champion. Swinger: “What’s the internet daddy?”

Alisha Edwards vs. Jody Threat

Eddie Edwards is here with Alisha. Threat forearms away to start but gets caught in the ropes for a pull down by the hair. Edwards chokes away on the ropes as Eddie gets in some quality yelling. Threat fights up but Eddie trips her down, only to have Frankie Kazarian jump him from behind. The distraction lets Threat hit Pop Shove It (I think? It’s an F5.) for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C. Not much to this one as Edwards is still gearing up for her showdown with Traci Brooks. Other than that, it was Threat getting another win to continue boosting her up, as she is starting to feel like one of the gang around here. Other than that, this was another step in Eddie vs. Kazarian and not much more.

Post match Kazarian pulls back the kendo stick to hit Eddie but hits Alisha on the back swing by mistake. Alisha goes straight to the mat like she’s been shot.

Deonna Purrazzo wants KiLynn King next week.

Mike Bailey vs. Kushida

Kushida drops to the mat and tries to pull Bailey down before settling for a wristdrag. A kick to the chest drops Bailey again but the fans are split. The bouncing kicks don’t do much to Kushida, who sends Bailey outside. Back in and we hit the surfboard to keep Bailey in trouble a bit longer. They chop it out until Bailey is knocked outside for a shoulder first ram into the post.

We take a break and come back with Kushida tying up the legs and cranking away with an Indian deathlock (with commentary pointing out that since Kushida had taken out the arm, Bailey would start using his legs so Kushida is staying ahead of him). Back up and the leg is fine enough to hit a springboard moonsault (of course), only to miss something off the top.

Bailey strikes him down and tries the standing moonsault but gets caught in an armbar. That’s reversed into a cross armbreaker but Kushida makes the rope. Bailey kicks him in the face so Kushida hits him in his, only to have Bailey knee him in the face for two. The tornado kick looks to set up the Ultimate Weapon but Kushida pulls him down and hits Back To The Future for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: B. This is one of those setups where you know it is going to be at least good give all of the circumstances. That being said, Bailey’s knee nonsense continues as Kushida worked it over and then bailey was right back up with the springboard moonsault. Other than that, Kushida seems to be on the road to an X-Division Title showdown and that should be very good whenever it happens.

Crazzy Steve has a sitdown interview with Matthew Rehwoldt, with Steve saying he needs his help. Steve has been trying to get Havok and Rosemary back, but now everyone, including Black Taurus, is turning their backs on him. That is normal for him as he has been abandoned before, including his vision, as he is legally blind. He’s been doing this for 21 years and you can imagine what that kind of pressure his bad vision puts on him. When asked about family, Steve says that’s a very interesting story and more on that later. This was surprisingly interesting and I could go for a part two.

We look at Subculture defending the Tag Team Titles in the UK.

Subculture has their eyes on the #1 contenders tournament.

Joe Hendry pops up behind two fans, but they were actually summoning Yuya Uemura, complete with his own song. Hendry wants an explanation and they seem to like the idea of winning the Tag Team Titles together.

Team 3D will be back at Impact 1000. Cool.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Moose/Brian Myers/Bully Ray vs. Black Taurus/Laredo Kid/Samuray del Sol

Hold on though as we cut to the back where del Sol (better known as Kalisto) has been attacked by Lio Rush. We take a break and start the match 3-2, with Myers teasing a test of strength with Taurus, only to grab a headlock instead. Taurus runs him over instead so it’s off to Moose vs. Kid, with the latter headscissoring him to the floor. Back in and Taurus shoulders Ray down but Myers pulls Ray to safety as we take a break.

We come back with Taurus having to fight away from Ray and handing it back to Kid. A tornado DDT plants Moose and there’s a hurricanrana to Ray. Back up and Ray takes Kid down though, allowing Myers to stomp away. Ray goes for Kid’s mask….and PCO is back. Moose is tossed outside and Myers gets crushed with a flip dive, leaving Ray to get chased to the back. Kid frog splashes Myers for a VERY slow two, allowing Moose to take Taurus down. Myers hits the Roster Cut to finish Kid at 16:38.

Rating: C+. Kid and Taurus looked awesome here and it was nice to have the two of them get this much shine. At the end of the day, the villains had to win here before their big eight man tag at Emergence. Other than that, it wasn’t exactly a great match but they kept it moving well enough to hold my interest, so well done.

Post match Ray runs through the back and steals a car. PCO gets to said car but Ray speeds off, leaving PCO screaming to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was good enough to carry the show here, even if they’re in a weird time as Emergence is coming but is only so big of a show. The whole thing isn’t looking like the biggest even in the world but after that we are on the road to Bound for Glory. For now they need to make the best out of their limited possibilities and it went well enough this week.

Results
Sami Callihan/Rich Swann b. Bullet Club – Cactus Driver 97 to Austin
Dirty Dango b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Reverse layout DDT
Jody Threat b. Alisha Edwards – Pop Shove It
Kushida b. Mike Bailey – Back To The Future
Brian Myers/Moose/Bully Ray b. Black Taurus/Laredo Kid – Roster cut to Kid

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – August 3, 2023: They Might Have Overthought That One

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 3, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re on the way to Emergence and the show still has a long way to go to setting up the card. Deonna Purrazzo is set to challenge Trinity for the Knockouts Title along with a few other matches but the show is going to need more than that. There is a good chance we will hear some more for the card this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Trinity to talk about what Chicago means to her. This is where she made her Impact Wrestling debut. It’s amazing how far things have come for her because she was thinking about ending her career. Then she debuted here and wanted to become the Knockouts Champion and she DID IT. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to interrupt and congratulate Trinity on her win. She knows what it feels like to win the title on your first chance. The only difference between the two is that the roles are reversed.

Purrazzo says she never tapped out out, with Trinity saying she did at Slammiversary. Trinity says she can make Purrazzo tap, with Purrazzo saying prove it. Cue the Coven to interrupt, saying no one wants Trinity here. KiLynn King suggests that she should be champion and Taylor Wilde isn’t happy that they have to be in Chicago. Threats and a brawl lead to a match being made by Santino Marella.

Coven vs. Trinity/Deonna Purrazzo

Trinity and King go to the mat to start before Trinity elbows her in the face. A rather twisty rollup gives Trinity two but a headscissors is easily blocked. Wilde comes in and gets kicked in the stomach. Trinity is fine enough to take Wilde into the corner and rain down right hands….but Purrazzo tags herself in to cut things off. A hurricanrana sends Wilde flying but she takes Purrazzo into the corner so King can come in.

That doesn’t last long as Purrazzo gets away for the tag to Trinity as the pace picks up. A bulldog into the middle buckle rocks Wilde but King tosses Trinity off the top. King backflips Wilde into a moonsault onto Trinity for two as the villains take over again. Trinity fights up again though and gets over to Purrazzo for the hot tag.

King fights out of the Fujiwara armbar and gets two off a DDT as everything breaks down. Trinity’s Rear View is countered into a German suplex and everyone is down again. Purrazzo Fujiwaras King down again but Wilde makes the save this time. Trinity kicks Purrazzo in the head by mistake and the King’s Curse (pumphandle flipped into a faceplant) finishes Purrazzo at 10:15.

Rating: C+. The Coven getting a win back is a good thing and Trinity and Purrazzo having issues makes perfect sense. This wasn’t exactly inspired booking, but it was the kind of match that helped multiple things at once. I still like the Coven quite a bit and it would make sense to see them be put back in the title scene sooner than later.

The Rascalz are ready to win the #1 contenders tag team tournament, even if they should just get the title shot already. Scott D’Amore comes in to say they’re fined two weeks pay for coming back after they were ejected a few weeks ago. If they do it again, it’s an indefinite suspension, but yeah D’Amore is happy they’re back!

Alisha Edwards rants to Eddie Edwards about Traci Brooks. Jody Threat comes in say that’s nonsense and again, arguing leads to a match, this time next week.

Heath vs. Alan Angels

This is over who is the REAL rockstar of Impact. Angels slaps him in the face to start and then bails out to the floor. Back in and Heath knocks him outside again without much effort but stops to celebrate with some fans. That lets Angels dropkick toe steps in the knees, meaning Angels has a target back inside. The moonsault misses though and Heath gets to slug away. Angels manages to go up top but dives into a powerslam for a rather near fall. The Wake Up Call misses though and Angels goes right back to the knee. A kick to the head misses though and the Wake Up Call finishes for Heath at 6:17.

Rating: C+. Heath has really grown on me in recent months as he has this likability to him and it shows almost every time he’s out there. No he isn’t going to be World Champion or anything close to it, but he’s perfectly fine as a midcard face that the fans can get behind. Go with him for a little bit and let the fans have fun with him as it’s not going to hurt anything.

We look back at the Design taking out Eric Young last week.

Eric Young isn’t surprised at what happened but gets asked an interesting question: wasn’t he supposed to be dead? Young says the fans didn’t know what they were seeing and they will see what happened tonight.

Jake Something vs. Davey Vega

Jake sends him down fast to start and launches Vega off for trying a headlock. A running shoulder blasts Vega before Something smashes him with a heck of a forearm. Vega tries to leave but gets hit with a flying block block (like the start of a Thesz press but Jake stays on his feet), followed by a swinging Boss Man Slam for the pin at 2:35. Something looked great here.

Last week, Moose talked to Brian Myers, Bully Ray and Lio Rush, all of whom are here to get the World Title. Rush was told to give them an answer by the end of the night, which he did by joining them at the end of the show.

Myers, Moose and Ray interrupt Rush on the phone, with Ray asking who he’s talking to. Rush says that’s none of his business, but Ray is VERY happy with Rush’s decision. Rush says he’s not here to make friends, but Moose doesn’t care about that. All that matters is Rush helping them, which Rush will do at Emergence. Ray wants Rush with them next week for a six man tag and says they’ll trust him until he gives them a reason not to.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Yuya Uemura vs. Kenny King

King, with Sheldon Jean, is defending. Before the match, Hendry doesn’t seem happy with Uemura being involved in his one and only title rematch. King shoves Uemura into Hendry to start and we get a few rollups for two each. Back up and Hendry chops both of them until King hits him in the face. There’s a kick to Uemura in the corner as this isn’t exactly picking up the pace so far. King knocks Hendry to the floor and hits a running dropkick to Uemura. Back in and Hendry neckbreakers King, who DDTs Uemura at the same time as we take a break.

We come back with King forearming Hendry and then suplexing Uemura out to the floor. King can’t hit the Royal Flush on Hendry so here is Uemura to crossbody both of them down. Uemura tries it again but dives into Hendry’s cutter. Jean pulls Hendry out so King can get two so Hendry blasts Jean with a clothesline. King sends Uemura into King though and the Royal Flush finishes Uemura to retain the title at 12:19.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but it was a lot better once they came back from the break. What matters here is Uemura is the one who took the pin, which gets Hendry out of the title picture without taking a fall. That’s the best way to go for everyone as Uemura doesn’t really have much stature in the first place. Now do something else with Hendry already.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Mike Bailey b. Jack Evans at Emergence 2022.

Mike Bailey and Jonathan Gresham don’t quite agree with the way the rules are enforced around here but they think they can work together to win the #1 contenders tournament. This doesn’t seem to be the best pairing.

Video on Josh Alexander returning and uniting with the Motor City Machine Guns and Kushida against the resident heel faction. Kushida and Chris Sabin might not be on the same page about the X-Division Title though.

The Beautiful People and Awesome Kong will be back for Impact 1000. Cool.

The Death Dollz are looking for a plan to get a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot from Santino Marella. Crazzy Steve comes in to try and find out why it’s Courtney Rush and not Rosemary but she shoves him aside. Steve: “Ok I understand.”

Tag Team Titles #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Rascalz vs. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey

Miguel gets knocked down to start so it’s off to bailey to armdrag Wentz. The bouncing kicks have Wentz in more trouble and there’s the enziguri to put him down. Gresham comes in and works on the arm before tying up the leg as well. Miguel offers a distraction though, allowing Wentz to hit a good looking dropkick. Bailey is knocked off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Gresham fighting up and bringing Bailey in to pick up the pace. The standing shooting star press gets two on Miguel but a Wentz distraction lets Miguel grab a German suplex. Some kicks get Bailey out of trouble and Gresham comes back in for an assisted rolling cutter on Miguel with Wentz making the save. Everything breaks down and Gresham powerbombs and forearms Miguel for two. With the referee distracted Miguel gets in the spray paint to Gresham for the pin (with trunks) at 13:16.

Rating: B-. The spray paint thing is getting old fast but at least it’s something Miguel has done for a long time. The Rascalz moving forward is a better fit than another team of partners who hate each other but work well in the ring so they went with the logical move. Not a great match, but it made the Rascalz look good after a long time apart.

We look back at Deaner stabbing Eric Young to kill him off last year. Then Deaner sat there and Young laid there….until he spit up blood and started laughing. Young crawled outside and got on a motorcycle to ride away (while Deaner was presumably getting donuts or something). Young narrates a video about life and death being opposites.

Can you die if you never truly lived? Death can be a gateway and a door and it can be beautiful. But he’s not censored dead yet. A man can be killed and a body can be disposed of, but an idea is eternal. He’s more than death and more than an idea, so he will live forever. Uh yeah….we’re going to go with “they overthought this one” and move on.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was good enough with some nice action, but that Eric Young video at the end was so over the top that I was trying not to laugh. Other than that, I’m a bit optimistic about some of the names who could be moving up the charges, as Heath, Jake Something and Joe Hendry all seem like they could have bright futures. Impact is starting to make those people look like bigger deals and that is a good idea, as the roster is a good bit aged at the top. Now just figure something out with them and see how far you can go.

Results
The Coven b. Trinity/Deonna Purrazzo – King’s Curse to Purrazzo
Heath b. Alan Angels – Wake Up Call
Jake Something b. Davey Vega – Swinging Boss Man Slam
Kenny King b. Joe Hendry and Yuya Uemura – Royal Flush to Uemura
Rascalz b. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey – Rollup with trunks to Gresham

 

 

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Slammiversary 2023: Something’s Missing

Slammiversary 2023
Date: July 15, 2023
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Impact is back to pay per view and the show is looking rather good on paper. The main event will feature Alex Shelley defending the World Title against Nick Aldis in what could be a heck of a match. Other than that, we may be in for a major surprise return as Scott D’Amore needs a tag partner and put in a phone call last week to close Impact. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Gisele Shaw/Jai Vidal/Savannah Evans vs. Jody Threat/Death Dollz

Jessicka and Evans go with the power lockup to start, with Jessicka shoving her around. Vidal comes in and gets hit in the head, followed by Shaw getting rammed into the buckle over and over. It’s off to Rush, who gets cheap shotted so the villains can take over. Vidal lays her over the middle rope for a running shot to the ribs but Rush reverse DDTs Evans. The hot tag brings in Threat to clean house, including a running knee to Shaw in the ropes. Vidal gets suplexed and Rush hits a spear for the pin at 5:34.

Rating: C. This was very quick and to the point, which didn’t leave them much time to get going. There is only so much that can be done with six people in less than six minutes, but they managed a short form story. Rush getting the win over a glorified lackey in Vidal makes sense and should start the night out on the right foot.

Pre-Show: Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Kenny King

King, with Sheldon Jean, is challenging. Before the match, Hendry says Stripper Kenny wants to strip him of the title, but that isn’t going to happen because the people believe. King charges to start and gets caught in a delayed vertical suplex. With King on the floor, Jean slips Hendry a Chippendale’s tie for some choking.

King gets two off a suplex of his own before grabbing a guillotine. Hendry powers up and does some hip gyrating while still managing a backdrop at the same time. The Standing Ovation connects but Jean puts the foot on the rope. King misses a dive onto Jean but he grabs a rollup (with Jean holding the feet) for the pin and the title at 6:09.

Rating: C-. What a weird match. It’s not just the result (Hendry losing here is beyond questionable and almost into the world of idiocy) but they rushed through everything and the ending game out of absolutely nowhere. The stripping deal was hardly an interesting story and I really wasn’t feeling a lot of this one.

The opening video talks about legacies and dreams with everyone having their own path. We get some clips of the stars on tonight’s show, complete with some classic audio, with most of the Steiner Math promo. I get what they’re going for, but that’s not exactly the most serious promo for something that should be pretty important.

Kushida vs. Alan Angels vs. Jake Something vs. Jonathan Gresham vs. Kevin Knight vs. Mike Bailey

Ultimate X for a future X-Division Title match. Something is a surprise and runs some people over to start but Knight climbs onto Something’s shoulders in a failed attempt. Instead Something powerbombs Knight onto the pile at ringside before running over Gresham and Bailey.

A quadruple dropkick staggers Something until Gresham and Bailey get to clean house. Hold on though as the team isn’t sure who gets to go after the X, so Angels super Spanish Flys both of them down. Angels gets dropkicked down onto a pile on the floor but Bailey climbs onto the structure and hits a gigantic moonsault onto everyone else.

Something starts getting back up so it’s a bunch of chair shots to put him back down. Back in and Angels goes for the X but drops down to poisonrana Knight instead. Gresham gets low blowed by Angels, who climbs up just like Kushida. Angels is knocked down though and Kushida gets the win at 11:13.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t one of the better Ultimate X matches as it was more about stopping Something, who didn’t really go for the win anyway. Kushida getting the win is fine as more Kushida is always a good thing, but these matches are all about the stunts and the drama, with the latter not really being around this time.

Former Team Canada member A1 is here.

We run down the card as the structure is taken down.

Kenny King brags about winning the Digital Media Title and says this is the only title that matters.

We recap the Knockouts Tag Team Title match. The Coven, the champions, attacked Killer Kelly so Masha Slamovich, her former rival. Kelly and Masha are being presented as a certain kind of team without anything ever being flat out said.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: The Coven vs. Masha Slamovich/Killer Kelly

The Coven is defending. Kelly shoves Wilde around to start and invites her to start fighting. Everything breaks down quickly, with the champs in early trouble. Slamovich comes in and gets Russian legsweeped for two, allowing King to come in and toss her into the corner. Slamovich gets in a double stomp and hands it back to Kelly, who is sent throat first into the middle rope.

King misses a middle rope backsplash though and it’s Slamovich coming back in to clean house. Wilde grabs a Codebreaker into King’s German suplex to slow Slamovich down but she misses the running knees. Everything breaks down again and Wilde’s Witch’s Wrath (swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker) gets two as King and Kelly fight outside. That leaves Slamovich to hit the Snowplow to finish Wilde for the pin and the titles at 9:02.

Rating: C+. This got better near the end and while there still isn’t much of a division to be seen, it is nice to see a pair of actual teams for a change. The Coven has been quite the addition to the division and Kelly and Slamovich could do well too. It helps that they feel like teams rather than two women being thrown together, so this felt like an important title match. If nothing else, Slamovich finally winning something is nice to see, as she felt like the next big thing in the regular Knockouts division.

We recap Bully Ray/Deaner vs. Scott D’Amore/???, which is much more about Ray vs. D’Amore. Ray hates how D’Amore runs the company so D’Amore is finally standing up for himself. Deaner is replacing Steve Maclin and D’Amore’s original partner PCO was set on fire, so it’s mystery partner time.

Bully Ray/Deaner vs. Scott D’Amore/???

Big Kon is here with the villains and former NHL enforcer Darren McCarty, who doesn’t like Ray either, is guest enforcer. We get the old Team Canada theme and…..Eric Young is back as the mystery partner, despite dying in December. Young and Deaner (the guy who MURDERED him last year) start things off as we get the explanation of “eh, looks like Young is back”.

Ray comes in and gets his arm cranked before it’s off to D’Amore, who has Ray backing up. It’s off to Deaner, who gets leg lariated down and legdropped for two, setting up a reverse 3D for two. A Sky High gives D’Amore two but Kon and McCarty have a staredown, allowing Deaner to take over on D’Amore. Now Ray is willing to come in on beat on D’Amore, meaning it’s time for the crowd to sing O CANADA in a great touch.

Ray yells at the referee….who walks out on the match, meaning McCarty is now the full on referee. Some left hands to the jaw wake D’Amore up enough to spear Ray down, allowing the tag off to Young. The piledriver hits Deaner but Kon pulls McCarty outside. A1 (still in the crowd) takes out Kon, leaving McCarty to Stun Ray. A three man What’s Up means the good guys can get the tables and Ray is chokeslammed through. D’Amore Canadian Destroys Deaner, setting up Young’s top rope elbow for the pin at 11:49.

Rating: C+. This was a goofy match and that’s what it needed to be. There were multiple changes to the match and while Ray got beaten up, it felt like it let the door open for a D’Amore vs. Ray showdown later on. For now though, it was nice to have Young back, as at least he gets to be around here rather than waiting and waiting and waiting for his WWE return.

Nick Aldis is ready to beat Alex Shelley because he is a closer, and he’s ready to close Shelley’s book.

We recap Lio Rush challenging Chris Sabin for the X-Division Title. Sabin won the title for the ninth time last month and now Rush is here to get it for the first time.

X-Division Title: Lio Rush vs. Chris Sabin

Sabin is defending….and gets jumped on the floor before the bell. The medical staff comes out to say Sabin can’t go but Sabin says he’ll do it anyway. The bell rings and Rush knocks him down again, setting up a spinning kick to the head. Rush hits the Final Hour for two, followed by a second for the pin and the title at 1:18. I’m going to assume Sabin is injured or something, as this is a very odd way to go otherwise.

In the back, Alex Shelley has nothing to say about what just happened.

Tag Team Titles: Subculture vs. Rich Swann/Sami Callihan vs. Bullet Club vs. Moose/Brian Myers

The Club (Chris Bey/Ace Austin) is defending, Subculture (Mark Andrews/Flash Morgan Webster) has Dani Luna in their corner and it’s one fall to a finish. Bey and Andrews start things off by trading some flips until Austin comes in for a headscissors. Webster comes in for a pair of flipping dives and a near fall. A standing moonsault drops Austin so it’s off to Callihan to throw Swann at Austin.

Moose and Myers both come in but stereo powerbombs are broken up. The Club clears the ring but Bey’s running flip dive is countered into an apron powerbomb from Moose. Austin knees Moose in the face from the apron but Callihan shoves people onto the pile on the floor. We settle down to Webster striking away at Swann and Callihan until the latter grabs a Death Valley Driver.

Swann misses his middle rope 450 and the Club hits a springboard kick into a torture rack neckbreaker. Moose and Myers are both back in to clean house until Andrews kicks both of them away. The Stundog Millionaire hits Moose and Webster’s Shadows Over Malice (Swanton) gets two. We hit the parade of strikes to the face until Swann and Bey cutter Moose out of the air. The 1-2-Sweet is broken up and here are the Rascalz to go after the Club. Webster hits his standing Sliced Bread #2 on Austin, setting up Fall To Pieces (shooting star press) to give Andrews the pin and the titles at 10:35.

Rating: B-. A few weeks ago, Subculture’s match against the Motor City Machine Guns seemed to be enough to get them a job and that seems to be the case. If nothing else it got them the titles here in an entertaining match. Much like the Ultimate X match, there was only so much to be seen here with so many people flying around, but what we got was a lot of fun.

We recap Eddie Edwards vs. Frankie Kazarian. They’re both veterans and have split the first two matches, as Kazarian doesn’t seem to like Eddie’s lack of respect. This is the “here are two veterans who are going to have a good match” match and their wives are both here too.

Frankie Kazarian vs. Eddie Edwards

Kazarian has Traci Brooks and Edwards has Alisha Edwards. They start fast with Kazarian snapping off a hurricanrana into a headlock. Back up and Kazarian chops away but Alisha offers a distraction. Traci does it right back, allowing Kazarian to hit a Backstabber for two. Edwards drops Kazarian hard to the floor and a suplex gives Edwards two back inside.

Kazarian comes back with a release German suplex and Edwards is sent outside. The diving hurricanrana drops Edwards again but the women nearly get into it, allowing Eddie to hit a big dive. The fans are all over Eddie, complete with BOSTON SUCKS chants, so Kazarian makes the comeback with some shots to the face.

Kazarian drops a springboard spinning legdrop for two but Eddie is right back with the backpack Stunner for two. A nice looking top rope superplex drops Kazarian again and they’re both down. Both miss the others’ finisher so Kazarian sends him to the apron and slingshots him back into a cutter for two.

The referee gets bumped and a double clothesline leaves both of them down. Alisha tries to bring in the kendo stick so Traci takes her down. With the women out, Kazarian gets the chickenwing to make Eddie tap but there’s no referee. Kazarian goes to check on him and gets kendo sticked in the head. The Boston Knee Party finishes for Eddie at 17:43.

Rating: B. I’m not sure there is a way for these two to have an actually bad match, so giving them this much time on a big stage was a near guaranteed success. It might not have been some epic showdown, but it was a solid back and forth match between two talented stars. You can run a match like this anytime and it will work, as it did here.

We recap Trinity challenging Deonna Purrazzo for the Knockouts Title. Trinity has shown up and is ready to be the new star, but Purrazzo is saying not so fast.

Knockouts Title: Trinity vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Purrazzo is defending and has a live violinist play her to the ring. They trade armdrags to start before Trinity has to roll away from a Fujiwara armbar. The threat of the Rear View sends Purrazzo outside so Trinity takes her down with a slingshot flip dive. Back in and Purrazzo starts in on the arm and the cranking has Trinity in trouble. Trinity tries to go up top but gets pulled into a leg/neck crank to keep her down.

With that broken up, Trinity manages a kick to the face into a Samoan drop. A springboard kick to the face gives Trinity two but Purrazzo is back with a leg trap Tombstone for the same. The Queen’s Gambit is blocked so Purrazzo settles for the Fujiwara armbar. Trinity makes the rope and hits a slingshot X Factor. The split legged moonsault gets two but Purrazzo is right back with a Queen’s Gambit on the apron for two. Back up and Trinity quickly pulls her into Starstruck for the tap and the title at 14:26.

Rating: B-. I’m not sure what was missing here but it didn’t quite get to the next level. Trinity is crazy athletic and feels like a star but the match felt like a pretty firm downgrade from the usual great Knockouts stuff. She did win in a good match here and it makes sense to go with her early on, so well done here, even if it could have been better.

We recap Alex Shelley defending the World Title against Nick Aldis. Shelley finally won the title last month and Aldis doesn’t like the lack of respect since his return. Aldis turned on him, and now it’s time for a title showdown.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Nick Aldis vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley is defending and spits water in Aldis’ face to start fast. Aldis powerbombs him hard out of the corner and the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is on in less than a minute. With that escaped, Aldis grabs some suplexes but Shelley dragon screws the leg. Aldis is knocked to the floor but cuts off the baseball slide by tying Shelley in the ring skirt.

Shelley gets posted and sent into the barricade but manages a Stunner over the ropes for a needed breather. It’s off to Aldis’ arm for a change, with Shelley wrapping it around the post to take over. Aldis’ fingers are bent into the turnbuckle but he rakes the eyes for a needed breather.

Shelley is right back to the bad arm but Aldis clotheslines him down. The top rope elbow is countered into a superplex, followed by a standing Sliced Bread to plant Aldis. Shelley snaps the fingers, which are good enough to piledrive Shelley for two. The top rope elbow gets the same so let’s bring in the title. With the referee taking it away, Aldis hits a low blow into a Michinoku Driver for two but Shelley kicks the belt away. A DDT onto the belt busts Aldis open and Shell Shock retains the title at 16:33.

Rating: B. It was another rather good match but I don’t know if it was going to draw in that much interest. Shelley winning the title was a very cool moment, but he doesn’t quite feel like the top star. The same is true for Aldis, who has made a career out of having the tools without making fans care all that much. The wrestling was fine and Shelley using Aldis’ cheating against him was good, but I never really got pulled into it.

We get a video on the match….and Josh Alexander is back to stare Shelley down to end the show. Well there’s Bound For Glory.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m not sure what it was but I couldn’t get into this show. The wrestling was fine to good, but nothing on here made me all that interested in what they were doing. The show had all kinds of title changes though and that should give them a lot of momentum going forward. They need something of a top story though and while Shelley vs. Alexander looks good on paper, I don’t know how well it will go in reality. Completely watchable show and you won’t feel like you’ve wasted your time, but not a great one.

Results
Jody Threat/Death Dollz b. Gisele Shaw/Jai Vidal/Savannah Evans – Spear to Vidal
Kenny King b. Joe Hendry – Assisted rollup
Kushida won Ultimate X
Masha Slamovich/Killer Kelly b. The Coven – Snowplow to Wilde
Eric Young/Scott D’Amore b. Deaner/Bully Ray – Top rope elbow to Deaner
Lio Rush b. Chris Sabin – Final Hour
Subculture b. Moose/Brian Myers, Rich Swann/Sami Callihan and Bullet Club – Fall To Pieces to Austin
Eddie Edwards b. Frankie Kazarian – Boston Knee Party
Trinity b. Deonna Purrazzo – Starstruck
Alex Shelley b. Nick Aldis – Shell Shock

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Impact Wrestling – July 13, 2023: Land This Thing

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 13, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Slammiversary is this weekend and that means it is time for the hard sell show. Impact has done well with these in recent months and it would be nice to see them do it here for one of their biggest shows of the year. Alex Shelley vs. Nick Aldis is likely going to get a lot of the focus so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

With Steve Maclin injured, Bully Ray has selected Deaner as his replacement for the Slammiversary tag match.

Zachary Wentz vs. Chris Bey

Trey Miguel and Ace Austin are here too. Feeling out process to start with Wentz taking him into the corner for some screaming. Wentz gets taken to the mat for a stomp to the back but Bey is sent crashing out to the floor. Bey fights out of an arm crank and runs Wentz over in the corner, setting up the kick to the head. A Code Red gives Bey two but Miguel superkicks Austin. The distraction lets Wentz do….something (commentary wasn’t sure either) and a headlock driver finishes Bey at 6:44.

Rating: C+. This was Wentz’s return to the spotlight and he looked fine enough out there. Granted the Rascalz were always more of a team than individuals in Impact so seeing Wentz on his own was a little strange. The good thing is that this does not seem to add the Rascalz to the Tag Team Title match, which already has enough challengers.

Dirty Dango attacked Santino Marella on BTI.

Santino and Scott D’Amore were in the back when the Rascalz pop in to say they want in the Tag Team Title match. That seems to be a no so the annoyed Rascalz leave.

Kevin Knight vs. Mike Bailey

They start slow until Bailey snaps off a headlock takeover. Back up and Bailey armdrags him into an armbar but Knight armdrags his way to freedom. A splash gives Knight two but he misses a springboard crossbody. Bailey sends him outside for the middle rope moonsault and we take a break. Back with Knight knocking him to the floor and hitting a dive of his own as we take a break.

We come back with Bailey in trouble but he manages a faceplant to take over. The moonsault knees connect but Knight jumps to the top for one heck of a superplex. They go to the pinfall reversal sequence for two each until Knight grabs a sitout spinebuster for two. Back up and Bailey sends him into the corner for the tornado kick into the Ultimate Weapon to finish Knight at 13:30.

Rating: C+. It continues to amaze me how much better Bailey is when he reels things in. He is capable of doing some great athletic stuff and making it look effortless, and as long as he doesn’t get to ignore a knee injury, he’s quite good. Knight is someone I’ve seen multiple times now and he has something, but he has to be around for a bit for anything to take hold.

Masha Slamovich and Killer Kelly are ready to take the Knockouts Tag Team Titles from the Coven.

Here is Joe Hendry for a chat. He’s here to help people, such as Stripper Kenny. For tonight, he and his partner can help take care of King.

Joe Hendry/Yuya Uemura vs. Kenny King/Sheldon Jean

The fans tell King, wearing a sweatshirt, to take it off as he starts with Henry. Uemura and Jean come in, with the former grabbing some headlock takeovers. Jean takes Uemura into the corner and the double stomping is on. That’s broken up with a kick to the head and Uemura gets over to Hendry for the tag.

House is quickly cleaned including a fall away slam into a nipup, followed by an RKO to King. Hendry even TAKES OFF THE SWEATSHIRT, leaving King embarrassed. The shirt is thrown at him (setting up an argument about whether that’s a foreign object) so King leaves, meaning it’s an enziguri into the Standing Ovation to finish Jean at 5:33.

Rating: C+. Sweet goodness Hendry is fun. There’s something about him that makes you want to watch whatever he is doing and it works every time. I’m not sure how high he’ll go in Impact, but that smile and that charisma make you want to see what he is doing. Mocking King for being a former stripper is bit of a stretch, but dang if Hendry isn’t trying to make it work.

Flashback Moment Of The Week: Chris Sabin wins the X-Division Title at Slammiversary 2013.

Lio Rush is ready to win the X-Division Title.

Chris Sabin knows Rush is very talented, but he gets why Rush isn’t wanted in any locker room.

Moose/Brian Myers vs. Sami Callihan/Rich Swann

Swann kicks Myers around to start before Callihan comes in for some shots to the face. A rake to the eyes allows Moose to come in but it’s way too early for the powerbomb. Instead Callihan low bridges him to the floor, where Swann flip dives onto both of them as the villains are in early trouble. Back in and Moose knocks both of them to the floor as we take a break.

We come back with Swann fighting out of a chinlock and rolling Moose up for two, only to get dropped hard. A kick to the head allows Swann to get over to Callihan for the hot tag, meaning house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and Myers kicks Moose in the face by mistake. Swann cutters Myers but Moose shoves Callihan into them to break up the cover. A 450 gives Swann two with Moose managing a kickout without a save. Myers pulls Swann out and the distraction lets Moose hit a low blow. The spear finishes Callihan at 13:58.

Rating: C. That’s the right way to go, as you need Myers and Moose to feel like a threat. They certainly have the talent between them, but at some point they have to actually win some matches. This was a good start, though I’m not sure how likely they are to win the titles at Slammiversary. Granted the same could be said about Swann and Callihan, but they have a bit more history together.

Subculture is ready to win the Tag Team Titles for the people who don’t fit in.

Angels is ready to win the X-Division Title.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Video on Nick Aldis, who wants the World Title back. Alex Shelley knows where the title will wind up and he can give it up on his face or on his back.

Here is Deonna Purrazzo to say people have forgotten who she is so it’s Champ Champ Challenge time.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Jody Threat

Threat is challenging and gets taken down with a headlock takeover to start. Back up and Threat fires off some corner clotheslines for two but Purrazzo knocks her right back down. The stomping keeps Threat down and we take a break. We come back with Purrazzo working on the arm and hitting a knee to the face. A Russian legsweep sets up the Fujiwara armbar, sending Threat over to the rope.

Threat gets in a shot of her own and it’s a double knockdown for a breather. Back up and Threat snaps off a suplex before forearming Purrazzo in the jaw. A top rope cannonball sets up a hard clothesline for two but the F Bomb is broken up. Purrazzo pulls her into the Fujiwara armbar but Threat rolls out again. Threat plants her down for two but the F Bomb is countered into the Venus de Milo to retain the title at 9:17.

Rating: C+. Threat isn’t someone who feels like a top star, but she hadn’t lost until now and that made her more of a realistic possibility to take the title. At the same time, Purrazzo won a match she should have won. This was a match that was put together well and Purrazzo had to work to get the win, so nice stuff all around.

Post match Savannah Evans, Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal come in for the beatdown so here are the Death Dollz to even things up. Cue Masha Slamovich and Killer Kelly, followed by Trinity to make it an even bigger brawl. Referees try to break it up, leaving Trinity vs. Purrazzo in the big staredown to end the show.

A long Slammiversary preview wraps it up.

Scott D’Amore is on the phone and says this time PCO can’t come back to life, so he wants to know if the person on the phone can. D’Amore grabs a Team Canada jacket to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not the best show this week but it more or less held things in place as we get to Slammiversary this weekend. Ending things with the women was an interesting choice as that’s a big match that hasn’t gotten a ton of attention. What matters is Slammiversary is set and if Impact can make everything work, we should be in for a heck of a pay per view.

Results
Zachary Wentz b. Chris Bey – Headlock driver
Mike Bailey b. Kevin Knight – Ultimate Weapon
Joe Hendry/Yuya Uemura b. Kenny King/Sheldon Jean – Standing Ovation to Jean
Moose/Brian Myers b. Sami Callihan/Rich Swann – Spear to Moose
Deonna Purrazzo b. Jody Threat – Venus de Milo

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – July 6, 2023: That’s A Hot One

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 6, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We are just over a week away from Slammiversary and the card is all but set. Oddly enough, one of the better built matches has been Scott D’Amore/PCO vs. Bully Ray/Steve Maclin, as the videos on D’Amore have been great. On top of that, there is also a new alliance in the form of Nick Aldis and Lio Rush, who are going after the Motor City Machine Guns. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Eddie Edwards vs. Frankie Kazarian

Alisha Edwards is here with Eddie and shouts at Kazarian, even as he suplexes Eddie into a neckbreaker to start. A fisherman’s suplex gives Kazarian two but Eddie manages to send him outside, where Alisha gets in a tornado DDT. Back in and Eddie rakes the eyes and chops in the corner, allowing Alisha to choke away.

Kazarian is sent to the apron where Alisha gets in another cheap shot, allowing Eddie to hit a clothesline. A slingshot DDT plants Eddie on the apron though and it’s a double down on the floor. Back in and Kazarian counters the Blue Thunder Bomb into a failed chickenwing so it’s an Unprettier for two on Eddie instead.

Another chickenwing attempt is blocked and Eddie grabs the tiger driver for two of his own. The chickenwing finally goes on but Alisha offers a distraction, allowing Eddie to drive it into the corner, with the referee getting bumped in the process. Alisha kendo sticks Kazarian from behind though and the Boston Knee Party finishes for Eddie at 10:46.

Rating: B-. Well yeah of course this was good. They’re both talented wrestlers and they have a story going. Giving them some time to put a match together is going to work and it went well here. You can probably pencil in some kind of a mixed tag for Slammiversary and that opens up more than a few options.

We look back at Nick Aldis and Lio Rush laying out the Motor City Machine Guns. That’s your main event tonight.

Chris Sabin is ready to face Rush for the X-Division Title at Slammiversary.

Rush says he’s here to win titles instead of making friends. Nick Aldis comes in to say he’s here to make history, and they can accomplish these things together. As long as Rush stays out of Aldis’ way.

Frankie Kazarian congratulates Eddie Edwards on the win, even if that’s not how Killer Kowalski taught them. They’re 1-1 so let’s have the rubber match at Slammiversary, with Kazarian offering to bring his wife, Traci Brooks, to even things up.

Champagne Singh/Shera vs. Rich Swann/Sami Callihan

Swann get double teamed down to start and Singh drops him with a Downward Spiral for some trash talk. Swann trips him down though and it’s back to Callihan to pick up the pace. This includes the always stupid throw a team together and make someone DDT his partner spot. Swann comes back in for a double superkick to Singh, meaning it’s the Cactus Driver to finish Singh at 3:16.

Rating: C. Not much beyond a squash here but it’s good to have Callihan and Swann look like a solid team on the way towards Slammiversary. They’re long established as friends and have teamed together, but rarely as a two on two team. Beating up Singh and Shera is always fun too, and it worked well here.

Moose and Brian Myers are ready to give Callihan and Swann real competition.

We look at Santino Marella yelling at Dirty Dango, allowing Heath to jump Dango from behind.

Dirty Dango talks about how he loved wrestling in the 90s (Juventud Guerrera, Villano IV, Villano VII, people like that) but then he realized that things change when you get into the arena. Go back to school instead of wrestling. As for Santino Marella, Dango has grown up while Santino is still stuck in 2010. Dango: “It’s like going to a Yoko Ono concert where she just yodels the whole time.” As for Heath…..maybe try being a fork lift driver?

Angels vs. Jonathan Gresham

The Design is here with Angels, who is quickly sent outside. Deaner yells at Angels to do what he says so he goes back in and suplexes Gresham. A running dropkick sends Angels outside though and we take a break. Back with Gresham dropping him again for two and they fight over a suplex. A half and half suplex sends Gresham into the corner so Angels can hammer away, which doesn’t seem to be following Deaner’s plan. They fight over some rollups for two each until Gresham pulls him into the Octopus for the tap at 10:27.

Rating: C+. The idea here was Angels trying to pay attention to Deaner and do his own thing with neither exactly working. Beating Gresham is hard enough on its own and he did his whole technical wrestling master deal. If nothing else, it’s better than the same stuff the Design was doing with Sami Callihan for months, so hopefully this leads to the team falling apart and going away for good.

Post match Gresham offers a handshake but Deaner doesn’t want Angels to do it. Angels teases leaving but goes back in, with Deaner breaking up the handshake attempt. Deaner pokes him in the chest so Angels grabs his hand and then shakes Gresham’s hand.

The Bullet Club is ready to defend the titles against anyone, including three teams at Slammiversary. The Rascalz come in and want to be in he match, but Chris Bey says they haven’t won anything around here. Wentz suggests a match with Bey, and if Wentz wins, they’re in the title match. Seems to be a deal.

Video on the Australia shows. Good for them for getting to go somewhere else, as they’ve turned things around so much in the last few years.

We recap the issues between Deonna Purrazzo, Trinity and Gisele Shaw.

Trinity thanks Purrazzo for having her back last week. Purrazzo says she wants Trinity 100% when she beats her at Slammiversary and that’s not cool with Trinity. Purrazzo is willing to put out the open challenge next week to show Trinity who she’s facing at Slammiversary.

PCO vs. Good Hands

Scott D’Amore joins commentary. Before the match, the Good Hands talk about how PCO is about to feel these good hands. PCO beats them to the floor to start and hits the big running flip dive. The Deanimator hits Hotch and a reverse DDT plants Skyler back inside. The PCOsault finishes Skyler at 1:56.

Post match Hotch goes after D’Amore and gets beaten up for his efforts, including a Sky High. The Canadian Destroyer is loaded up but here is Bully Ray to interrupt. Steve Maclin sneaks in from behind though and the villains wreck PCO and D’Amore with a chair. D’Amore gets handcuffed to the rope and PCO gets destroyed even worse, including being put through a chair.

PCO gets thrown down a ramp into the backstage area. After yelling at D’Amore some more, they follow PCO outside and pour…..battery acid into PCO’s mouth. Then they add lighter fluid and light him on fire. This went on for a LONG time and while the ending looked cool, it was hard to keep interest all the way there.

Post break, we look back at what we just saw.

Scott D’Amore is looking at PCO, who doesn’t know how the Slammiversary match is affected and really doesn’t care.

Gisele Shaw vs. Courtney Rush

Jai Vidal, Savannah Evans and Jessicka are here too. Shaw runs her over to start so Rush grabs a top wristlock. Rush sends her outside for a breather, followed by a reverse DDT for two back inside. Vidal offers a distraction though and Shaw gets in a kick to the head to start the comeback. A suplex gives Shaw two and frustration is setting in. Rush knocks her away but Evans offers a distraction. Jessicka slugs her down but gets sent into the steps. Vidal gets on the apron as well and that’s enough of a distraction for Shaw to grab a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 6:13.

Rating: C. Shaw gets another win as the numbers game is too much for Rush and Jessicka. It wouldn’t surprise me to see Shaw accept Deonna Purrazzo’s challenge next week, though adding her to the title match at Slammiversary at this point doesn’t feel likely. So far the new Death Dollz haven’t been doing so well but their whole huge story has had so many twists and turns that something is going to come from all of it.

Kenny King and Sheldon Jean are interrupted by a random fan who has no business being backstage. She tries to put money in King’s pants, and another woman does the same. Then Joe Hendry pops up and produces Yuya Uemura to prevent a 2-1 beatdown. The villains leave.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Lio Rush/Nick Aldis

Sabin wants Rush to start but gets Aldis instead. Aldis easily wins an exchange of shoulders and elbows Sabin in the face for a bonus. Rush comes in and starts the dodging, setting up a jumping kick to the head. We hit the rear naked choke but Sabin slips out and slides outside to trip Aldis. Shelley uses the distraction to jump Rush from behind and Sabin gets two off a double stomp.

The abdominal stretch keeps Rush in trouble and Shelley knocks him outside. This time Aldis gets in a cheap shot on Shelley and we take a break. Back with Aldis clotheslining Shelley and stomping away a bit more. Aldis starts in on the leg and Rush comes in for some right hands of his own. Rush chokes in the corner and the bodyscissors goes on. It’s back to Aldis for a chinlock but Shelley fights up with a Downward Spiral into the corner.

The tag brings in Sabin to clean house, including a middle rope missile dropkick to Rush. Everything breaks down and a Magic Killer of all things gets two on Rush. Aldis is taken down with a dragon screw legwhip over the ropes, with Rush taking one of his own. The Guns go after Aldis, allowing Rush to hit a big running flip dive to take everyone out. Aldis adds a top rope elbow for two but Rush misses the final Hour.

There’s the Dream Sequence to Rush and a cutter drops Aldis. The powerbomb/sliding cutter hits Rush for two with Aldis making the save. Aldis gets the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf on Shelley, with Sabin making the save. Rush hits Sabin low and kicks him in the head, setting up the Final Hour for the pin at 17:54.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but eventually picked up well. What mattered here was setting up the King vs. Sabin title match at Slammiversary and they covered that well. Aldis vs. Shelley is more or less set up in advance, so this was a good way to make both title matches feel more interesting at the same time.

Overall Rating: B. Another solid show here as Slammiversary has come together rather well and I’m wanting to see the show. The PCO thing was quite over the top but it does kind of fit with how intense the feud has been. In addition to that, the title matches got some nice boosts and nothing is feeling overly weak. Next week is set up for the big go home show and now I’m curious to see what they’re going to do for the big finale. God stuff here, which might as well be the official subtitle as of late.

Results
Eddie Edwards b. Frankie Kazarian – Boston Knee Party
Sami Callihan/Rich Swann b. Champagne Singh/Shera – Cactus Driver to Singh
Jonathan Gresham b. Angels – Octopus
PCO b. Good Hands – PCOsault to Skyler
Gisele Shaw b. Courtney Rush – Rollup with feet on the ropes

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 29, 2023: It’s Just Right

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 29, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We are less than a month away from Slammiversary and that means it is time to start hammering home the card. The big story coming out of last week was the issue between Frankie Kazarian and Eddie Edwards while Bully Ray and Steve Maclin seem to be doing just fine. Throw in Alex Shelley vs. Nick Aldis and we should be in for a big Slammiversary. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Trey Miguel

Sabin, who took the title from Miguel at Against All Odds, is defending. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get very far until Sabin sends him to the apron. A pull of the leg lets Sabin send Miguel into the apron and we hit the chinlock back inside. Miguel fights up and hits him in the face a few times, only for Sabin to roll away from a moonsault.

Back up and Sabin wins a slugout but Miguel kicks him in the ribs. The Lightning Spiral is broken up and Sabin kicks the knees out in a smart counter. Sabin grabs an STF but Miguel is right there in the ropes. Miguel kicks him down and hits the top rope Meteora but Sabin rolls back into the STF. With that almost broken up, Sabin tries the Cradle Shock but Zachary Wentz (Miguel’s former Rascalz partner) runs in for the DQ at 9:30.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t better on that choice for a run in but I’ll take it over Miguel losing clean again. Miguel had a nice title run but that doesn’t mean you have to beat him into the ground after he loses. The Rascalz, or at least two thirds of them, against the Guns could be worth seeing and it is definitely a change of pace, so well done on a surprise. There is going to be some baggage with Wentz, but some time might have cooled some of it off a bit.

Post match we get the reunion hug and beatdown until Alex Shelley runs in for the save.

Post break the Rascalz say they’re back and coming for the Tag Team Titles.

Trinity vs. Jai Vidal

Gisele Shaw and Savannah Evans are here with Vidal while Deonna Purrazzo is on commentary. Vidal sends her into the corner to start for a slap to the face, only to have Trinity dropkick him into the other corner. A slide into a slap rocks Vidal again so Evans pulls him to the floor. Shaw offers another distraction and Evans gets in a cheap shot for two.

A running elbow gives Vidal two as Purrazzo says she is #1 in the division whether champion or not, but the belt makes the outfits better. Trinity fights up and makes the clothesline comeback, setting up a springboard kick to the face for two. A high crossbody drops Vidal again as Purrazzo talks about which limbs she should go after to slow Trinity down. A hanging faceplant sets up Starstruck to finish Vidal at 5:11.

Rating: C. Trinity gets to beat up a member of Shaw’s team before her big showdown with Purrazzo in a few weeks so the logic makes sense. At the same time, Shaw winning the title in Australia to make the Slammiversary match a triple threat wouldn’t stun me either. It might not be the best idea, but I could see them going in that direction.

Post match the beatdown is on with Purrazzo (eventually) coming in for the save.

Moose and Brian Myers, who have a Tag Team Title shot at Slammiversary (along with two other challenging teams) are ready to win the titles. Moose thinks it’s a guarantee…but calls the Good Hands “dead weight”. Myers says not to worry about it.

On Before The Impact, Zicky Dice, screwy referee, helped Johnny Swinger win a match.

Another referee tells Dice and Swinger that, per Santino Marella, that win doesn’t count and if Dice does it again, he loses his referee’s license. Swinger says they have to work on this.

Lio Rush vs. Jack Price

Somehow this is Rush’s first match on Impact (he’s been on a show co-promoted with New Japan but never just Impact). Rush runs around to start to frustrate Price and then does it again until a jumping enziguri drops Price. A hard shot knocks Rush outside and his hurricanrana is countered. Instead a kick from the apron frustrates Price again, setting up the suicide dive into the barricade. Back in and another kick sets up the Final Hour to finish Price at 3:37.

Rating: C+. If you like the standard Lio Rush match, you’ll like this one. This was his normal stuff with the crazy speed and the kicks, plus the good looking frog splash for the finish. The athleticism has never been an issue for Rush but he has to actually stay somewhere or none of what he can do matters.

Dirty Dango talks about how Santino Marella hit the Cobra out of luck last week because he has no offense. We hear about Jim Cornette slapping Santino around in OVW and he got a job as a result. Now Santino’s daughter is back in the same system and Dango wonders if she’s getting slapped around.

Santino Marella says he’ll take care of Dirty Dango at Slammiversary. Dango questioned his work ethic and what he gave to get here, then he talks about his daughter? Pain is promised. This would have been more effective if Santino hadn’t been doing the whole Santino deal.

Frankie Kazarian yells at Eddie Edwards for last week. He gets that mistakes can happen, but twice in one match? Eddie tries to calm him down but suggests they be opponents instead. Works for Kazarian.

KiLynn King vs. Masha Slamovich

Taylor Wilde is here with King. Slamovich starts fast by kicking her to the floor, only to have her dive cut off. Wilde chokes from the floor, only to have Slamovich roll King up for two. A clothesline gives King two but Slamovich is back with some knees to the chest. More knees and a spinwheel kick give Slamovich two more but King hits a Death Valley Driver for the same. Back up and Slamovich kicks her in the head for another near fall but gets sent outside. Wilde manages a quick posting but cue Killer Kelly to choke Wilde with a chain. Back in and the Snowplow finishes King at 8:10.

Rating: C+. These two beat the fire out of each other and it was a rather fun match as a result. Sometimes you need this kind of a match and it worked well here. You might as well set up the title match at Slammiversary from here, mainly as it isn’t like there are any other viable challengers for the titles at the moment.

Post match Kelly and Slamovich stare each other down until Slamovich ties the chain around her own neck. Then she leads Kelly away by said chain.

Video on Alex Shelley vs. Nick Aldis.

We see a look back at Scott D’Amore’s career. D’Amore talks about how he rose up through the ranks and while he never became a big star, he was trained by some great names over the years. Various stars talk about how good D’Amore was, despite being around some awesome talent. He made a bigger impact as a trainer and coach though and we hear about the success of his students.

We also hear about how many wrestlers D’Amore helped when they had no money etc., with names like Alex Shelley and Kushida praising him. D’Amore says he wasn’t a big star, but he went up and down the road and lasted thirty years in this business. This was a REALLY nice tribute to D’Amore and presented him as a truly good guy who never got his due in wrestling. Fair enough, as he does seem to have been a big deal for a lot of people.

Scott D’Amore hopes he is ready to be back in the ring. The Good Hands come in to challenge him, but D’Amore says he’s wrestling once and that’s it. Instead, he can get them to face PCO next week.

Kenny King vs. Yuya Uemura

Sheldon Jean is here with King. Hold on though as Joe Hendry is in the production truck and says he has some kind of special video prepared. Feeling out process to start until Uemura takes him into the corner for some loud chops. King hides in the corner and a Jean distraction lets King get in a cheap shot to take over.

King kicks him in the chest and grabs a seated abdominal stretch to keep things slow. A spinebuster gives King two but Uemura is right back with a bulldog for the same. Uemura DDTs his way out of a suplex to leave them both down and we take a break. Back with King cutting Uemura off on top but a spinning kick to the head misses. Uemura unloads with forearms until King catches him with the Royal Flush for the pin at 12:10.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what you would expect from a Uemura match as he wrestles well and fights hard but can’t get a win that matters in the slightest. He almost has to be ready to end his excursion but seeing him lose over and over can get more than a bit frustrating. King seems primed for the Digital Media Title shot though and a win like this is a good way to go.

Post match here is Joe Hendry, who thinks King deserves a tribute. As luck would have it, he has a special video about King ready to go! The video looks at his career, but there is one year missing and it was the most successful he has ever been. That would be in 2013, when King was….a male stripper! The fans like the chorus and King is livid.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Nick Aldis to explain his attack at Alex Shelley. Cue Shelley, with Aldis getting on him for superkicking Jimmy Jacobs, making this an UNSAFE working environment. Instead, Shelley can go sit with the fans while Aldis talks. Shelly loves the idea of sitting among the fans so he’ll have a….stand over there with them.

Aldis talks about the ten person tag from a few weeks ago, when Chris Sabin was needing a tag. The only option was for Aldis to come in and clean house, but it had to go to Shelley instead. Aldis isn’t going to have the two of them hold Aldis down because they’ve done that for the last ten years around here. He got to the World Title faster than they did and that is because he represents the good things about wrestling.

The Guns wants to take wrestling to a dark place and that ends at Slammiversary, just like the transitional title reign. Shelley: “OH MY GOD JUST SHUT UP!” Shelley tells him to come out here and shut him up so the fight is on. A posting drops Shelley but Chris Sabin comes in to break up a belt shot. Cue Lio Rush to jump the Guns from behind though and the big beatdown lets the villains hold up the titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was exactly what I’m expecting from Impact these days: good action, stories being advanced, but most importantly of all, logic. There is a clear path with these stories and while there are some surprises, they don’t feel so completely out of left field that you’re left wondering if they make sense. The show flows very nicely and it makes things that much easier to watch. Another good show here, and you can see most of Slammiversary already.

Results
Chris Sabin b. Trey Miguel via DQ when Zachary Wentz interfered
Trinity b. Jai Vidal – Starstruck
Lio Rush b. Jack Price – Final Hour
Masha Slamovich b. KiLynn King – Snowplow
Kenny King b. Yuya Uemura – Royal Flush

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 22, 2023: Please Don’t Do This

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 22, 2023
Location: Ohio Expo Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Things took a turn last week when #1 contender Nick Aldis laid out World Champion Alex Shelley. This adds quite the wrinkle to their upcoming Slammiversary title match and I’m curious to see how all of that goes. Other than that, Scott D’Amore is ready to get his hands on Bully Ray next month. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

OVE vs. Good Hands/Brian Myers

Before the match, Skyler says OVE stands for Ohio vs. Everything. Well he’ll take everything from tooth decay to an IRS audit over Ohio. Crist kicks Skyler down to start and hands it off to Callihan for a double spinebuster. Fulton comes in for a double chokeslam/World’s Strongest Slam combination (that was cool) to take the villains down.

A Myers distraction takes Crist down though and the Good Hands drop a double elbow for two. Myers comes in with a suplex for one and we hit the chinlock. Crist fights up so Skyler comes back in for a slam to cut it off again. A forearm finally gives Crist a breather and he nips up for the tag off to Callihan. Cue Moose to crotch Crist on top so Callihan and Fulton go after him. The distraction lets Myers hit the Roster Cut for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: C+. Rather formula based match here and the ending helps establish Moose and Myers as a team who could be something down the line. OVE feels almost like a blast from the past but they’re good enough for a spot like this. As long as they’re away from the Design, it’s kind of hard to complain that much.

Eddie Edwards comes up to talk to Frankie Kazarian and says Frankie can trust him tonight in their tag match. Kazarian doesn’t quite buy that so Eddie asks what he has to do. Eddie doesn’t need to worry about it but he swears on the grave of Killer Kowalski that he won’t do anything to Kazarian. That’s enough for Frankie, but he doesn’t seem completely convinced.

Sami Callihan is livid when Rich Swann comes up to him in the back. Callihan wants to know where Swann was and Swann says he was busy at Against All Odds. From now on, Swann has his back as his top priority. Callihan approves.

Here is Dirty Dango for a chat. Dango: “Man do I hate professional wrestling.” And that’s it before his match.

Dirty Dango vs. Bhupinder Gujjar

Dango shoulders him over to start and dances a bit, allowing Gujjar to come back up with a shoulder. Some dropkicks put Dango on the floor for a slingshot dive but the Gargoyle spear misses back inside. Dango hits a layout reverse DDT for the pin at 2:00.

Post match Dango grabs a phone and says something we can’t hear. Cue Santino Marella, with Gujjar sending Dango inside for the Cobra.

The Death Dollz run into the returning Nevaeh and aren’t sure if they should trust her. They don’t have much of a choice though, and it’s time to learn the parts of the story they don’t know. Courtney Rush loves an origin story….so the Dollz runs off without her.

Zicky Dice passes his test to become an official referee. The referee giving him his test treats it as a serious deal but Johnny Swinger gets rid of him. Swinger flat out says this is so he can cheat to get his fifty wins.

Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham vs. The Design

Gresham comes in off a very early blind tag to dropkick Angels in the back, allowing Bailey to kick him in the face. Kon comes in to wreck both of them though and Angels adds a half and half suplex. We take a break and come back with Gresham getting away to bring Bailey back in for the kicks to Kon. The bouncing kicks set up the kick to the head and a missile dropkick puts Kon down instead.

Kon is fine enough to muscle Bailey up from the mat for a slam though and the Design takes right back over. That doesn’t last long as Gresham comes in for the save, allowing Bailey to armbreaker Angels. With that broken up, Bailey moonsaults onto Kon on the floor. Back in and Bailey gets caught in a super Spanish Fly, but Deaner stops to yell at Angels. The distraction causes Angels to miss his frog splash, allowing Bailey to hit the tornado kick. The Ultimate Weapon finishes Angels at 9:28.

Rating: C+. This match did one important thing and that is getting us closer to the destruction of the Design. The team has LONG outlived its usefulness (which wasn’t much in the first place) and now they finally seem to be going away. Gresham and Bailey were good enough as a team, but I don’t need them becoming the next dream team to go after the titles.

Flashback Moment Of The Week: Magnus (Nick Aldis) beats Jeff Hardy in the Dixieland match to win the World Title on December 18, 2013.

Gisele Shaw and Gail Kim are going to be on the Amazing Race: Canada. We don’t have any clips or anything similar to hype it up, but it’s true.

Trinity isn’t happy with Gisele Shaw getting a Knockouts Title shot on the upcoming Australian tour but she’s fine with the Slammiversary match being a triple threat if it has to be. For now though, she’ll beat up Jai Vidal next week instead.

Nick Aldis has sent in a statement saying he won’t be here tonight due to fear of his own safety. Alex Shelley comes in and doesn’t buy it, saying he wants Aldis here. Aldis will be here next week so Shelley leaves, only to come back with a superkick when interviewer Jimmy Jacobs runs his mouth too much.

Taylor Wilde vs. Killer Kelly

Feeling out process to start and Kelly seems pleased with the thought of violence. A shot to the throat and a pump kick give Kelly two and a running kick to the chest drops Wilde again. King low bridges Kelly to the floor though and Wilde gets to kick away back inside. The surfboard goes on but is broken up just as fast, allowing Kelly to suplex her into the corner. They fight over a rollup for two each until Kelly pulls her into the Killer Klutch. That’s broken up as well so Kelly grabs a rollup for the pin at 5:08.

Rating: C. Nice back and forth match with Kelly getting a win for a change. I could go for her getting a stronger push as she has felt like someone who could go a lot higher rather quickly. For now at least she is getting a win and if she can find a partner, we could have some fresh challengers for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. They certainly could use some new challengers so that’s certainly an idea.

Post match the beatdown is on but Masha Slamovich comes in to save Kelly. The villains bail and Kelly seems to approve.

We recap Scott D’Amore attacking Bully Ray last week, setting up the tag match with PCO and Steve Maclin at Slammiversary.

D’Amore says he is no longer the president so he takes off the fancy stuff before saying he isn’t what he once was. His prime, if he had one, wasn’t as good as Ray or Maclin, but he coached a lot of people over the years and is a five time Canadian Heavyweight Champion. He’ll break any rule or cross any line, and since he brought Ray into this company, it’s time he took him out. The sleeves are rolled up and now he’s ready for war. Good promo here, as D’Amore sounds like a man who has to do something.

Here is Joe Hendry to say….extraterrestrials have made contact with Earth. It makes sense to do it now because he is Digital Media Champion. Those aliens are trying to say the two most important words: WE BELIEVE.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Yuya Uemura

Hendry is defending and here are Kenny King and Sheldon Jean to interrupt. The former sits in on commentary as Hendry works on a headlock. Some armdrags have Hendry down, causing him to bow in respect. We take a break and come back with the camera on King before looking at Uemura fighting out of a chinlock. A belly to back suplex gives Uemura two but Hendry is back up to strike it out. Hendry rolls through a high crossbody and it’s the Standing Ovation to retain the title at 9:07.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to get very far as the break and then the camera sitting on King didn’t do it any favors. King vs. Hendry is fine for a likely title feud and it wouldn’t shock me to see King get the title. At some point he has to win something new and the Digital Media Title would work well. As for Uemura, he continues to be a completely fine hand in the ring, though he needs to actually win a few matches at some point before the impact fades.

Slammiversary and Australian shows rundown.

Bully Ray/Steve Maclin vs. Frankie Kazarian/Eddie Edwards

Alisha Edwards is here with Kazarian/Eddie. Maclin and Eddie start things off with Maclin dropping him off a running elbow. Eddie is fine enough to pull him over for a slingshot legdrop from Kazarian. Maclin sends him into the corner where Ray crotches Kazarian against the post and we take a break.

Back with Kazarian being knocked into the corner again as the slow being is on. A suplex gives Maclin two and we hit the reverse chinlock. With that broken up, Eddie comes back in to chop away and a double suplex drops Ray. Eddie’s suicide dive hits Ray and Kazarian’s slingshot hurricanrana takes Maclin down on the floor. Back in and Maclin knocks Eddie to the floor where Ray grabs a chair. Instead Ray chases Alisha off and it’s Maclin chinlocking Eddie again.

An Irish Curse gives Maclin two and Ray comes back in to punch him down. Eddie gets up and crossbodies Maclin for a double knockdown. The tag brings in Kazarian to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. Kazarian drops Maclin for two as Eddie and Ray come in (sans tags) to rake each others’ eyes. Ray shoves Eddie into Kazarian, who is right back with the chickenwing. Eddie is back up and accidentally superkicks Kazarian, allowing Maclin and Ray to hit a belly to back neckbreaker for the pin at 15:31.

Rating: B-. Nice enough main event here, and I kind of like having the teams who don’t like each other not being able to win their first match against each a team of former World Champions. Eddie vs. Kazarian should be a fun match at Slammiversary assuming that is the way they go. Other than that, we had a back and forth match with the action doing well, though it never quite got to that next level.

The winners are happy and the losers aren’t to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped but this show wasn’t quite up to the standards of the usual stuff they do around here. Slammiversary is about three weeks away and you can see a lot of the card from here, though that doesn’t make it the most interesting. The lack of Aldis after last week’s big turn didn’t help either and it wasn’t the most interesting offering as a result. It’s not bad, but more of a skippable show than usual this week.

Results
Brian Myers/Good Hands b. OVE – Roster Cut to Crist
Dirty Dango b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Layout reverse DDT
Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey b. The Design – Ultimate Weapon to Angels
Killer Kelly b. Taylor Wilde – Rollup
Joe Hendry b. Yuya Uemura – Standing Ovation
Bully Ray/Steve Maclin b. Frankie Kazarian/Eddie Edwards – Belly to back neckbreaker to Kazarian

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 15, 2023: They Talk A Lot

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 15, 2023
Location: Ohio Expo Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Against All Odds and my goodness things went nuts. First of all, Alex Shelley actually won the World Title from Steve Maclin in a heck of a surprise. If that’s not enough for the Motor City Machine Guns, Chris Sabin won the X-Division Title from Trey Miguel, cementing them as maybe the best tag team Impact has ever had. Nick Aldis is waiting for Shelley at Slammiversary so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Against All Odds.

Here are the Motor City Machine Guns to a heck of a reception. Chris Sabin talks about how he had a dream that the two of them went into Against All Odds and came out with the gold. Not tag team gold as you might expect, but instead he won the X-Division Title and Alex Shelley won the World Title. Then Sabin realized that it was a dream come true. Shelley: “Yup.” Shelley talks about how he ugly cried when he won the title because he was finally good enough to win the big one.

When he mentors someone, they become World Champions, like Kazuchika Okada, Trey Miguel, Kushida, the Young Bucks, Seth Rollins or Jay White. At some point though, it needed to be his turn and he had to prove it to himself. Now he can say he is a World Champion and he did it because of the fans, everyone in the locker room, everyone in New Japan, everyone in Ring Of Honor and people like Sabin. Shelley: “Ask me if I’m a World Champion.” Sabin: “My friend, my brother, are you a World Champion?” Shelley: “Yup.”

This is the Machine Gun Era, but here is Nick Aldis to interrupt. Aldis says the two of them did it at Against All Odds and he was one of those people who was there cheering for Shelley when it was his night. He’s proud of Shelley and yes, Shelley deserves the title. When Aldis first got here, he was drowning and was going to be on a list of “remember that guy” names. Then Shelley pulled him up, so you can add his name to the list of World Champions that Shelley mentored.

Aldis kept climbing though, and now it’s the two of them for the World Title, and no matter who wins, there will be a World Champion that this company will be proud of. As Shelley’s friend though, Aldis is going to do everything he can to make sure it’s him. Cue Trey Miguel to interrupt because he isn’t happy with the lack of respect. Sabin invites him in to say this to his face, but Miguel turns him down.

Cue Kenny King and Sheldon Jean, with King saying Miguel is the only one out here telling any truth. King accuses the three guys in the ring of jumping the line and getting a bunch of shots, so Sabin invites the other three in to see what happens. The villains come towards the ring but cue Gisele Shaw/Savannah Evans/Jai Vidal of all people to interrupt. Shaw says the spotlight should be on her and asks Shelley if he deserves all of this. Shelley: “Yup.” He thinks her problem is with Trinity so here is Trinity to interrupt.

Vidal threatens Trinity, who threatens him right back, so here id Deonna Purrazzo to interrupt. Purrazzo says she now has over 500 days as Knockouts Champions so she should be in the World Champion discussion. Trinity: “Until Slammiversary.” Cue Santino Marella to make the big ten person tag match for later tonight. This took about twenty minutes and it’s been happening more recently around here. Please don’t be the new norm, because it’s way too WWE instead of Impact.

Steve Maclin is livid about his loss and shouts that he should still be the World Champion. He shoves the camera away.

We look at Sami Callihan hitting Deaner in the face with a baseball bat and piledriving him onto a barbed wire board to beat him at Against All Odds.

Deaner wants to know who should be blamed for the Design’s loss. That would be Angels, who doesn’t like being bossed around this much. He has done everything Deaner has asked, and then Deaner (accidentally) hit him in the face with a baseball bat at Against All Odds. It was Deaner’s fault that they lost so the argument is on. Kon says this is exactly what Callihan wants so they need to get it together. Cool. Just do it on another show.

Moose vs. Rich Swann

Swann tries to move around to start but gets sent into the corner a few times. Some dropkicks stagger Moose a bit and a middle rope version staggers him even more. The low bridge sends Moose outside but he pulls a dive out of the air and powerbombs Swann onto the apron. Moose doesn’t let him go though and sends him into the barricade, followed by a toss powerbomb into the ropes.

We take a break and come back with Moose chopping away in the corner. Moose’s release Rock Bottom gets two and they head outside, where Swann ducks a chop that only hits post instead. Back in and Moose charges into a boot to the face, setting up a DDT to leave them both down.

Swann goes up top but gets superplex back down for a huge crash. We take another break and come back with Moose running the corner, only to dive into a cutter in some great timing. Swann’s Lethal Injection gets two but the middle rope 450 misses. The powerbomb gives Moose two but another spear is countered into a jackknife cover for the pin at 17:32.

Rating: B. These two were going back and forth and as usual, power vs. speed works well. It also helps to have this much extra time, allowing them to get things going more than usual. At the same time, it is a little strange to see Moose getting pinned clean, though I could go with more of Swann getting a singles push, as he is one of those recently untapped resources that Impact has.

On BTI, Heath took out Champagne Singh and Shera.

Heath talks about how he came here and then got hurt for 11 months. Then he had to save his best friend from a cult. Then Rhino got hurt, but then he came back and they won the Tag Team Titles. Now though, Rhino is hurt again, so he has to figure out what is next for him. Everyone is getting a wake up call.

Moose is annoyed when he runs into Brian Myers, who brings up Moose’s recent losses. Moose doesn’t want to hear this, but Myers offers to reform their team, which has Moose thinking.

Here is Bully Ray for a chat, complete with a piece of paper in his hand. Ray says he is a victim of the atrocious management around here, along with a victim of unnecessary violence at Against All Odds at the hands of Scott D’Amore. He is a victim of the system around here, and now he demands justice.

Cue D’Amore, with Ray demanding answers. D’Amore says when you’re a jerk to everyone, someone is going to be a jerk back. D’Amore mocks him for having a letter of complaint but reveals that he went before the board. They told him he was unbecoming of a president, which has Ray looking near stunned. Now all Ray wants is him to apologize, but D’Amore apparently has to take a leave of absence as president.

That’s music to his ears, with Ray saying D’Amore’s bosses screwed D’Amore over. Then D’Amore takes him down for some not so great right hands, which draws out Steve Maclin for the save. The beatdown is on, with Ray choking with a chair. The lights go out though and the lightning means it’s PCO time. A punch knocks the chair into Ray’s face and Maclin is knocked outside as well. Hold on though, as D’Amore has made one more match: a tag match between the four of them at Slammiversary.

Post break Maclin yells at Ray, who tells him to act like a Marine. Ray says that PCO (or maybe D’Amore) is just a man, but Frankie Kazarian pops up to say he’s a man who just beat them both up. Eddie Edwards (with Alisha Edwards) comes in to get between them and a match seems to be teased. With Ray and Maclin gone, Kazarian wants to know what is up with that. Eddie says they don’t like each other, but they’ll always have a bond, so they’re good. Kazarian (and Alisha) is confused but they’re at peace.

Decay vs. Bullet Club

Non-title. Austin gets taken into the corner for a kick to the head from Taurus and Steve gets in some hair pulling of his own. A kick gets Austin out of trouble but Taurus comes in sans tag and headbutts him down. Steve bites both champs but gets kicked out of the air for his trouble. Bey comes in and it’s the Art of Finesse into the Fold to finish Steve at 3:08.

Rating: C. I could have gone for more of this but that is the case with most of the matches the Club has these days. They really have gone into the area of being a great team, which is more than I was expecting when they were put together. This was shorter than it should have been, as Decay can put on a good match when they are given the chance, which isn’t the case in a match that barely breaks three minutes.

Post match the Club goes to the back and runs into the Motor City Machine Guns, with a showdown teased.

We get a preview of an upcoming documentary on Bhupinder Gujjar.

Gujjar is excited when Dirty Dango comes in to say no one would want to watch that. He’s assuming that Gujjar will sit around and hope that someone makes him a star. Gujjar calls him a bitter a****** and leaves. Dango: “I thought the backstage interview girls were supposed to be hot. No?”

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Trinity/Motor City Machine Guns/Nick Aldis/Deonna Purrazzo vs. Kenny King/Sheldon Jean/Savannah Evans/Trey Miguel/Gisele Shaw

Purrazzo and Shaw go to the mat to start and come up to a standoff with some trash talk. Shaw runs into an elbow to the face and Trinity comes in to unload with forearms. Shaw drives her into the corner though and it’s Evans coming in for some slams. Trinity breaks that up and Purrazzo comes back in for a Fujiwara armbar. Shaw’s save is cut off by Trinity with Starstruck but Miguel makes a save.

We take a break and come back with Aldis fighting out of King’s headlock. Sabin comes in to forearm Miguel and twists Jean’s knee across the middle rope for a bonus. Miguel sends Sabin into the corner and Jean’s knee is fine enough to come in for some elbows to the chest. Sabin is sent outside for a big group stomping, with Sabin’s partners being held back by the referee.

Back in and King stays on Sabin’s arm, allowing Miguel to come in for a front facelock. King cuts off a comeback attempt but a middle rope tornado DDT plants King for a breather. Shelley gets the hot tag and picks up the pace, including an overhead belly to belly to Miguel. A super atomic drop has Miguel gyrating quite a bit so Shelley pulls him into the Border City Stretch. Everything breaks down and King kicks Shelton by mistake. Aldis gives King a Michinoku Driver and Shell Shock finishes Jean at 18:38.

Rating: B-. This was a long match and at the end of the day, all that mattered was getting Shelley a win. Shelley got his big moment earlier in the night and he gets a pin as champion here. The Trinity vs. Purrazzo match is already set, though adding Shaw in wouldn’t be a crazy idea given what they have been doing. At the same time, another Miguel vs. Sabin match, maybe in something like Ultimate X, would fit in nicely at Slammiversary as well. All in all, there was a lot going on here, but it could all be setting up things for later.

Post match Aldis holds the title up to Shelley….and then blasts him with it to turn heel and end the show. That’s going to be better for him, as the respectable former champion was only so good.

Overall Rating: C+. They went in a rather different direction here with some LONG talking segments and only three matches. There was a lot of television time given to the matches and there were ten people in the main event, but it was like bunching several things together in some big lumps. I’m hoping that this isn’t the new norm as it’s not bad, but it’s not as good as it was before. Go with more acting and less talking, as it suits Impact a lot better. The Machine Guns era is off to an ok start, but they might be going in a shaky direction.

Results
Rich Swann b. Moose – Jackknife rollup
Bullet Club b. Decay – Fold to Steve
Motor City Machine Guns/Nick Aldis/Trinity/Deonna Purrazzo b. Gisele Shaw/Savannah Evans/Trey Miguel/Kenny King/Sheldon Jean – Shell Shock to Jean

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 8, 2023

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 8, 2023
Location: Western Fair District Agriplex, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Somehow this is the go home show for Against All Odds, despite being less than two weeks removed from Under Siege. The main event of tomorrow’s show will see Steve Maclin defending the World Title against Alex Shelley, so odds are the hard push is on tonight. Other than that, Bully Ray is still the big bad and needs someone to come after him. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Chris Bey vs. Jason Hotch

Ace Austin, Brian Myers and John Skyler are here too. Before the match, Myers and Skyler promise that after Against All Odds, the Tag Team Titles will be in good hands. Hotch tries a rollup to start but gets suplexed down for his efforts. Bey chops away in the corner but a springboard is countered with a shove over the top to the floor. Back in and Bey hits a backdrop before kicking him in the head. The Art of Finesse is countered into a heck of a Blue Thunder Bomb to give Hotch two. Bey is back with a kick to the face but Hotch tries la majistral. That’s fine with Bey, who stacks him up for the pin at 7:36.

Rating: B-. The word I think of when I see a Bey match is “smooth”. He can make anything he does in the ring look good and that was the case again here, as he and Hotch got to go out there and do their thing for a bit with nothing looking bad. The title match should be good as well and I could go for more of any combination of these guys.

Post match the beatdown is on, with the champs being left laying.

Heath is back and ready for the 8-4-1 match. Tonight, he’ll take out Champagne Singh to get ready for tomorrow.

Dirty Dango talks about how he has money now and doesn’t need to be the dancing clown again. He doesn’t like wrestlers texting him but he’ll happily take money to not show up. The idea of shaking hands with sweaty awkward 18-35 year old men in some armory somewhere sounds like ALL KINDS of fun. A 5X Dirty Dango shirt won’t cover up the smell so take a shower ok? He doesn’t care about winning the Digital Media Title. If he wins it, he’ll list it on eBay and use the proceeds to go to Hawaii. With a girl. This stuff is glorious.

Champagne Singh vs. Heath

Shera is here with Singh. Heath takes him into the corner for some forearms to start but Shera offers a distraction. That lets Singh snapmare him into the ropes to start banging up the ribs, giving Singh a target. Heath slips out of a powerbomb and hits a powerslam, setting up the Wake Up Call for the pin at 2:51.

The Design promises war with Sami Callihan, Jake Crist and whomever else they can find. Yeah yeah blood and violence and carnage and all that good stuff.

Here is Joe Hendry to say he’s ready to face the man who broke his nose, Sheldon Jean. That would be the reality star under the tutelage of another reality star, Kenny King. It isn’t that simple for Jean, especially because we believe.

Joe Hendry vs. Sheldon Jean

Non-title and King is here with Jean. Hendry takes Jean down fast to start but a King distraction lets Jean get in a kick to the face. We take a break and come back with Hendry powering out of a guillotine choke and hitting a suplex. The fall away slam looks to set up the Standing Ovation but King offers a distraction. Not that it matters as a powerbomb sets up the Standing Ovation finishes Jean off at 7:32.

Rating: C. Jean meets the description of a good hand and that should be enough to keep him on the roster for a long while to come. Eventually he’ll get a win or two and that is all he needs to make him a bit of a star. Hendry on the other hand has so much charisma and now he is backing up up with a better look and the ability in the ring.

Post match Hendry calls out Dirty Dango, who appears to say that he hates pro wrestling. He’ll pass on the fighting (it’s his day off), but Hendry has a new video about Dango, who seems to have lost his mind. Hendry plans to figure out what happened to make Dango nuts, sending us into a hilarious history of Dango’s career (he started by pinning Chris Jericho 1-2-3, then he was impersonating a cop with Breeze, then he couldn’t get laid on Total Divas). With the song over, Jean and King jump Hendry but Santino Marella comes out to make the save with the Cobra to Jean. Those songs are AMAZING and this was great again.

Gisele Shaw and company brag about taking out Jordynne Grace and think it should be a warning to Trinity. This is her house, and rent is due. Revenge is sworn at Against All Odds.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Death Dollz vs. The Coven

The Coven is defending. Wilde can’t do much with Jessicka to start so it’s off to Rush, who yells at King during the staredown. Rush takes her down but gets sent into the corner so King can take over. A swinging suplex gives King two but Rush gets over for the tag to Jessicka. That’s fine with Wilde, who sends her into the corner to take over as well as the Dollz can’t keep anything going here. Jessicka clotheslines her way to freedom and brings Rush back in to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and King gets in a cheap shot to Rush, setting up a big boot/spinebuster to retain at 6:25.

Rating: C. As usual, the lack of depth in the division causes problems around here, as it’s hard to get around the fact that the division is the champs and whomever they are defending against at the moment. This should get rid of the Dollz for the time being, but who is there left for the Coven to face? I’m sure some wrestlers will be thrown together, but that doesn’t help the underlying problem.

Video on Alex Shelley becoming #1 contender and finally getting his World Title shot last August. Now he knows what it takes to come up short and that was a learning experience. We hear about the wrestlers that Shelley has mentored or influenced over the years but when is it about him? It doesn’t need to be this week, but Shelley almost has to win the title, just based off of how it has been built up.

Steve Maclin talks about all of the wrestlers who want the title but Bully Ray interrupts. Ray says he likes Maclin, who just won’t listen. Don’t worry though, because he won’t come for Maclin’s title until Slammiversary.

Killer Kelly vs. Masha Slamovich in a Dog Collar match is set for Against All Odds.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Trey Miguel

Non-title. Gujjar takes him down to start but Miguel hits a kick to the face. With Miguel on the floor, Gujjar loads up a dive, which is knocked out of the air. Back in and a slingshot splash sets up a Lionsault to give Miguel one. Gujjar knocks him down again but misses a frog splashes, allowing Miguel to kick him down. Miguel misses what looked to be a top rope double stomp but comes right back with the Lightning Spiral for the pin at 5:19.

Rating: C. This was just a quick “Trey Miguel is great” win before he defends the title again tomorrow. Miguel is getting pretty high up there with some of the records and it’s pretty awesome to see him doing so well. If nothing else, having someone with a consistent track record holding a title is a good thing, and I’d like to see Miguel move up a bit after losing the title.

Post match Miguel says he doesn’t respect Chris Sabin and declares himself the a different kind of champion. He promises that tomorrow, he’ll win again and there will be no “yeah but’s” this time around.

Johnny Swinger brags about how great he is in the ring and talks about his daddy, Donny Swinger, telling him “Swing Sonny”, sometimes it’s time to pass the heat onto someone else. Like Russo! Either way, he blames “crooked referees paid off by Gene Simmons and Bob Seger”. That’s why he’s going to have Zicky Dice become a referee, and then he’ll have a strap around his waist. This man is a genius.

Trinity and Deonna Purrazzo are ready to fight at Slammiversary, but they’re ready to fight Gisele Shaw and Savannah Evans tomorrow night too. It’s too bad that Jordynne Grace is out of action indefinitely, but this is a dangerous business.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Moose/Rich Swann vs. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis

Swann and Gresham start things off with Swann kicking him in the face. Aldis comes in and gets caught with a headscissors but ducks an enziguri. The King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is blocked though and it’s Moose coming in. Moose misses a charge and gets punched in the face before Aldis grabs an armbar.

We take a break and come back with Gresham hitting Moose in the ribs, allowing Gresham and Aldis to start working on the arm. Moose powers Gresham away though and it’s Swann coming back in for a rolling splash. It’s back to Moose for a heck of a whip into the corner to leave Gresham grabbing his chest, followed by a near chop to tag Swann back in.

A quick taunt of Aldis is enough for Gresham to be pulled back into the wrong corner. He slips out of what looked to be a powerbomb though and the diving tag brings in Aldis to pick up the pace. Moose gets dropped so Aldis’ top rope elbow can get two but it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Everything breaks down and Swann’s Lethal Injection gets two on Gresham. It’s back to Moose off a blind tag though and a powerbomb finishes Gresham at 13:31.

Rating: B-. This was a nice preview of the 8-4-1 match and that’s all it needed to be. We could be in for some interesting combinations in the match so throwing together a random tag match like this is what makes sense. Aldis continues to look good in his comeback and Swann/Gresham are both capable of doing whatever they need. Moose hasn’t been featured as much recently so this was a nice return to form.

Post match the brawl is on again, with Heath running in to help take Moose out. Aldis and Heath brawl to the floor so Swann loads up a dive, only to get caught by Bully Ray. PCO runs in for the slugout and hits the big dive through the ropes, allowing him to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Impact was in a really weird spot this week as they had two regular shows to build up the next monthly special. That isn’t a ton of time and they more or less opted to just go as fast as they could without going too in-depth with much of anything. Instead they had two good matches and some other stuff in the middle that worked out well enough. Tomorrow’s card has potential and I could go for seeing what they have in store. Things can get back to normal next week, and if the last few weeks are any indication, we should be in for a very nice build to Slammiversary.

Results
Chris Bey b. Jason Hotch – Rollup
Heath b. Champagne Singh – Wake Up Call
Joe Hendry b. Sheldon Jean – Standing Ovation
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Big boot/spinebuster combination to Rush
Trey Miguel b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Lightning Spiral
Moose/Rich Swann b. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis – Powerbomb to Gresham

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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