Thunder Date: June 14, 2000
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Mark Madden
Welcome to your second weekly installment of Russo Theater featuring the Eric Bischoff Players. The big story at the moment is the departures of a lot of big names as Page, Sting and Flair are all gone, leaving us with Hogan/Nash/Steiner to fight off the forces of evil because we’re just lucky like that. Let’s get to it.
The traditional Nitro recap opens things up.
Cat, Russo, Jarrett and David arrive, flanked by security (one of whom I believe is Mike Rapada, who would win the NWA World Title twice by the end of the year). Rapada (not named) tells Russo that the cops won’t be here tonight because they don’t want to deal with his games. They must have watched the show earlier.
Nash arrives. Can we please stop having to show people arriving with no story development? It’s their job to be here. Why am I supposed to be surprised or interested in their cars arriving?
Here are Russo/Cat/Jarrett/David to open things up. David has a lock of Ric’s hair around his neck (that’s creepy) and Russo has a 3-0 shirt with the back saying “with two shaved heads.” Jarrett gets to talk first for once and promises to take care of Kidman for what he did on Monday. He beat Hogan and Nash on consecutive nights and that proves he’s the real World Champion.
Russo shows us clips from Nitro (for the second time in five minutes) and says he’ll bring Ric back tonight, so he pulls out a Mr. Potato Head. On to Nash, Russo asks what type of man would torture someone in front of their eight year old nephew. Nash pops up and says a dead man (but a MANLY dead man of course). Various threats are made with Russo saying Goldberg is coming. Nash cleans house with the bat but Russo gets away because he always does. Did I miss something or did this accomplish absolutely nothing?
Post break Russo calls Bischoff, who is on the way with Goldberg. Everyone leaves Russo alone for various reasons and Nash can be heard outside. This would be your weekly thriller movie plot.
Here’s Kronik with something to say. Adams calls it ridiculous that they lost the titles by DQ. They want a title match right now but get Chris Candido instead.
Kronik vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Chris Candido
I had forgotten Bigelow was still around. Kronik pulls Candido into the ring to start with Clark. A release Rock Bottom plants Chris and Adams tosses him into the air for a crash. The F5 gets two as Bigelow comes in to make the save. High Times ends Candido fast. Total squash.
Security has to break up Bigelow and Kronik.
Russo tries to call for help and then runs to his car. The tires are slashed though because this really is a stalker movie.
Here are the Mamalukes with the Hardcore Title. Vito brags about being the man that retired Terry Funk because he’s the real hardcore legend. Johnny says he could have beaten Funk if he hadn’t been in the bathroom. Vito agrees and hands him the belt, then hits him with a kendo stick. A table is set up but Johnny comes back with a jumping DDT to drive Vito through it instead. This brings out Nash with his bat to take Johnny out because he hasn’t been on TV enough yet tonight. He’s just looking for Russo though and that’s it. Thanks for wiping out a champion (maybe?) before you left Kev.
Russo is panicking like the 20 something year old woman when some psycho is chasing her in a direct to video movie. Of course most of those people don’t have WORKING PHONES they could use to call a cab.
David and Miss Hancock are having a moment.
Here’s Shane Douglas to address knocking Bagwell out on Monday. Bagwell must be wondering what happened to make Shane hit him in the head with brass knuckles. A month ago, Bagwell decided to fight against WCW and left Shane all on his own. Have we ever heard why Buff was suspended in the first place? Anyway Buff comes out for some revenge but Candido and Bigelow jump him before he can do much. Kronik runs out as well and it’s a big brawl.
Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott arrive. We cut to Palumbo and Stasiak who make fun of them for no apparent reason, only to have Rick and Tank appear behind them. Tank says that was recorded two hours ago and the beatdown is on. I’m not sure off the top of my head, but that might be the most contrived segment I’ve ever seen.
Cat comes in to see Russo (scaring him half to death) and promises to stay by his side. Scott Steiner arrives and Cat runs away screaming. Russo sees Steiner as well and runs on top of some cars because being a MAN involves being a great athlete. Well done on hitting the people arriving and movie tropes in the same segment.
Here are Mike Awesome and Positively Kanyon with something to say. So are they a team now? Kanyon scares himself with the pyro but says that he’s feeling really positive tonight. He’s so positive that he’s willing to team with the guy that tried to kill him. Again: was it a big ruse or not? We still don’t have an answer for that. Kanyon plugs his book signing at some little town in Kentucky (could you narrow that down for us?) with Mark Madden and his appearance on Craig Kilborn this Monday. It’s open challenge time.
Mike Awesome/Positively Kanyon vs. Rick Steiner/Tank Abbott
It’s a brawl to start of course with Steiner throwing Kanyon into the barricade while the other two fight in the ring. Kanyon crotches Rick on the top as the pairs switch off, leaving Awesome to load up a table. Back up and Rick Steiner Lines Abbott by mistake, which is actually enough to throw the match out. Really?
Stasiak and Palumbo come out to beat on Tank and Steiner but Scott Steiner comes in for the save. So are Rick and Scott back together now for no explained reason?
Russo tries to steal Nash’s car but gets caught by Kev, who rips Russo’s shirt off.
The Cat hits on Pamela and promises to take out Scott Steiner tonight.
Recap of Kidman/Hogan/Goldberg/Jarrett.
Kidman says he’s not New Blood anymore.
WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Billy Kidman
Kidman screws over the team, gets a title shot out of it. So who booked this match exactly? Jeff is defending and in street clothes while Tygress is on commentary. Heaven help me. Kidman starts fast with a dropkick but walks into a hot shot to slow him down again. They head outside with Kidman being sent into the barricade in various ways. Back in and Kidman’s bad luck continues as he misses a dropkick.
Cue the Filthy Animals but Jarrett says he can do this on his own, allowing Kidman to grab a rollup for two. A Sky High gets two more for Kidman, followed by a rollup for the same. Jarrett tries a powerbomb because that’s something he uses all the time and we get the faceplant counter. That’s enough so Rey offers a distraction, allowing Konnan to hit him with the guitar. The Stroke retains Jeff’s title.
Rating: D+. Too much interference and too much Tygress trying to sound hip aside, this was an entertaining match that could have been a lot better if they just let the guys do their thing. If you need to do interference then do it, but stop pouring it on and trying to have three stories in the same match.
The Animals beat down Kidman until Nash makes the save and chokes Jeff with a belt. So Nash vs. Jarrett isn’t done either?
Here’s Vampiro because we haven’t had enough talking on this show tonight. It’s been three days since Steve Borden’s career went up in smoke but the fans are still brainwashed by the t-shirts and posters. He yells at a fan to take their Sting mask off and goes after her, only to have red liquid spat in his face. It’s Asya, which brings out the Demon for a brawl. Vampiro loads up the blowtorch but stops to lay out Asya instead. They keep brawling up by the stage with Vampiro being thrown into Demon’s coffin. Demon loads up the blowtorch but stops to check on Asya. Vampiro stumbles out of the coffin and is all spaced out.
Random clip of 3 Count to brighten your day.
Here’s Daffney in her black wedding dress because she’s sad over David leaving her for “Miss Peacock.” Daffney promises to break her legs but here’s Hancock with something behind her back. Apparently the something was just her hands as the fight is on until David comes out for the save. Crowbar comes out as well and gets hit low, allowing David and Hancock to leave.
Russo goes into Cat’s office to yell about Nash. Now you know what’s about to happen, the audience knows what’s about to happen, and anyone who has ever seen a movie knows what’s about to happen, so I’m going to spare you the details because unlike WCW, I don’t think you need everything explained to you.
This Week in WCW Motorsports.
US Title: Scott Steiner vs. The Cat
Steiner is defending and rants about how Cat is taking Russo and Bischoff’s beating tonight. Scott hammers away in the corner and Cat claims a hair pull off a hiptoss. Cat tries to sneak in and comes up a few feet short in a funny bit. The security helps Cat out and a superkick gets two on the champ. Now it’s out to the floor so security can stomp him down and then get inside because why not. Shakira gets in as well and the distraction lets Midajah come in with a high cross body. The Steiner Recliner makes Cat tap.
Rating: D. In a change of pace from the previous match, the interference was probably the right call. Cat is great on the mic now that he’s figured out a fun character but his in ring stuff is still about as bad as it’s ever been. Bad match here and can we please get the US Title off Steiner? He’s held the thing for months now and I don’t remember the last important title defense he had.
Post match Cat says not so fast because the Recliner is now banned, meaning that’s a DQ loss for Steiner.
Jarrett is down in the back as Nash is on the phone with a buddy from Florida named Scott. The buddy gives him two ideas, but only one is legal.
David promises to shave Crowbar.
David Flair vs. Crowbar
Flair has the Statue of Liberty and the shaving gear with him. After a quick brawl on the floor to start, Crowbar throws him inside for a back elbow to the jaw. The chops have Crowbar in trouble and David tries a…….suplex I guess you would call it. Either way it puts Crowbar down but he rolls away from the elbow. They go back outside with David’s head coming into contact with various metal objects. David is sat in a chair so Crowbar can go back inside for a plancha, breaking the chair in the process. That looked cool at least.
Crowbar is banged up too though, allowing David to crotch him on the barricade. Back in and David does……well it was something with a gutwrench. After some strutting it’s time for a superplex but David screws up AGAIN by letting Crowbar go early, nearly causing a big crash. Crowbar is tired of all the botched moves and takes David down with a front suplex, followed by a slingshot legdrop for two. After David begs off, Crowbar loads up a sunset flip but Flair hits him in the head with the Statue for the pin.
Rating: D-. David Flair is really bad at this. Like, he’s just not good at the whole wrestling thing. That’s not his fault though as he’s nowhere near ready to be on a national program. He needed a few years on the indy circuit or in some form of developmental because it’s almost impossible to make your debut in a company this big.
Post match David goes to shave the hair but Daffney comes out for the save. Hancock comes out to lure David away.
We wrap it up with Nash (of course) as he drags Jeff out to the ring. Nash talks about his nephew being traumatized on Monday and brings up Deliverance. This brings out Russo with Scott Hall’s contract. If Nash does anything else, that contract is ripped up. Goldberg comes in from behind and helps Jeff beat Nash down to end the show. Indeed: the show ends with Russo getting the last laugh again.
Overall Rating: D-. People talk about Cena winning all the time but he has nothing on Vince Russo. All night long Russo was running scared and hiding and then in the end he gets to be all HAHA I WIN AGAIN! It stopped being something worth getting annoyed at….well I can’t say a long time ago because it’s only been going on for a few weeks now but it feels like it’s been going on for years already.
As for the rest of the show, it was your usual night for this era: short matches that didn’t have time to go anywhere, bad wrestling (on the brief occasions wrestling had the chance to happen), angles that felt more contrived than your stereotypical adult film plot and WAY too much Russo and Nash. Jarrett is basically the US Champion at the moment because Steiner’s title is just a prop for the Freaks to hold up. Bad show here, as is the custom.
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Monday Nitro #244 Date: June 12, 2000
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia Attendance: 4,723
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson
We’re past the Great American Bash and there are less than four weeks from Bash at the Beach. Last night’s major development was the Goldberg heel turn, which felt like nothing more than shock value for the sake of shock value. Russo has sworn revenge on Ric Flair tonight and since this show should have a bigger audience, you can almost guarantee that he’ll get what he promised. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap from last night’s stupidest matches, meaning the main events. Something I missed at the pay per view: Tony asks if Goldberg joining the New Blood with two minutes left in the show was the surprise.
Russo, Bischoff and Goldberg arrive. Gee I wonder if they’re going to come out and talk for ten minutes.
Scott Hudson has no shirt on because he made fun of Russo for not having a shirt on. Does it surprise anyone that we have to suffer so we can see proof that Russo has moved above Hudson in the official manliness power rankings?
Tony: “Sting was lit on fire last night. If you want to see something shocking, order the replay.”
Here are the writers for their opening victory speech. Hudson says the one constant in WCW has been Goldberg. The guy that’s had one match since December? Bischoff leads off the bragging by talking about how everyone knew Goldberg was the future. All of the old guys were worried about Goldberg not being a team player but last night Goldberg showed that he was on the right team. Goldberg was sick of the fans and all their autographs so he’s done with them.
Cue Goldberg himself for the big explanation. “Don’t ask me why. The question is why not.” Everyone in the back has been against him since day one and they got all the cheers while Goldberg was gone. Now he’s signed a deal with the devil so he gets what he wants: to stand over everyone who tried to screw him.
So yeah, their big explanation: he didn’t like backstage politics. Not “Nash and Hogan screwed me out of the title.” Not…..well really that’s one of the only storyline explanations I can think of. No instead they’re going with “people were mean to me backstage and instead of being tough and beating them up like when I made this company money, I’m going to turn heel and let the old boring guys be the heroes.” Backstage. As in not in front of the camera. As in not something the fans can easily understand. As in REALLY STUPID.
This brings out Nash who should barely be able to walk after last night. As you might expect, he saunters out with his hand in his pocket instead. Nash talks about WCW giving Goldberg everything he wants. Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair are the kind of people who made Goldberg so tonight, Nash isn’t leaving until he has Goldberg’s blood on his hands. Cops take Nash down but Russo says he wants Nash released into his custody. Russo: “I WANT RATINGS TONIGHT!” Nash vs. Goldberg is announced for later because Bash at the Beach still isn’t important.
So yeah, it’s clear they have nothing for Goldberg other than “he’s a heel now.” There’s no logical character motivation because all they have to do is say that it’s something that happened backstage or that you might have read on the internet without ever having to actually demonstrate or show anything on TV. In other words: the writers are doing whatever they can to get out of the writing.
Jarrett tells Cat that he wants Hogan tonight because Bischoff and Russo are too busy to make the match. I love that he’s finally admitting that the World Title isn’t important enough for either writer to care about.
Nash is put into a cop car until later in the night. Scott Steiner chases Russo off as Nash’s nephew watches on.
Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Terry Funk
Vito is defending and locks Johnny the Bull in the bathroom for no logical reason. They start brawling in the back (of course) with Funk’s going head first into a steel wall. The door rises up so Funk tries to crush Vito underneath it. Funk blasts him in the head with a chair but stops to beat up a security guard.
They keep fighting through the back with Funk using the empty water jugs to keep control. It’s time to get into the arena and they come in through the roped off section to make WCW look even worse. Funk is knocked through one of the Nitro Girl cages and off the stage through a table. Down to ringside now with Vito setting up a table and ramming Funk face first a few times. A piledriver off the apron through the table is enough to pin Funk.
Rating: D. Further proof that Bischoff didn’t need to win the title. The idea was that no one could beat Funk for the title and then the Mamalukes beat him down to give Bischoff the title, only to have Vito dominate him the next week in a rematch. Bischoff is off to another feud, making the title change last week look even more like a vanity win. If Bischoff is never going to take a beating for it, then how is it a good move for anyone but him?
Funk hands Vito the belt and shakes his hand post match. Vito blasts him with the belt to look truly evil.
Vampiro talks to someone in a cloak about Sting being gone. The man in the cloak says there are more souls to take. So we have a higher power.
Nash tells his nephew to stay with Scott Steiner. Nash: “Scotty, he’s eight years old. Keep those freaks away from him.”
Shane Douglas/Buff Bagwell vs. Kronik
Shane says his partner is back tonight and they can start taking names again. Kronik beats them down to start and Adams press slams Shane. Clark comes in for the pumphandle slam but Buff makes a quick save. It’s a hot tag to Bagwell (heels, faces, who cares?) for a Blockbuster but Shane tags himself back in. Kronik cleans house and High Times ends Shane in short order.
Rating: D+. Simple story here and they break up a team that wasn’t very good in the first place. It also keeps Kronik going forward to the titles down the line while not beating anyone of consequence. I might even say that Kronik has been well booked lately, but I have a feeling the improvement is due to a lack of attention from creative.
Bagwell and Shane argue post match and Shane sucker punches him with brass knuckles.
Cat is livid that Hogan isn’t here tonight.
Kidman thinks Jarrett vs. Hogan needs a guest referee.
We see a press conference from Paisley and the Artist. From now on, he’s just the Artist. Captain Rection’s grandfather is under the table, saying he was looking for pie. THIS ISN’T FUNNY.
Cruiserweight Title: Lieutenant Loco vs. The Artist
Rection’s grandfather is with the Misfits. Rection says that his grandfather is crazy and thinks he’s in Cambodia half the time but it’s still Rection’s pop. It’s a brawl to start and Artist hammers away at the champion in the corner. A dropkick sends Artist into the corner and Major Gunns comes in for Shattered Dreams (Locked, Cocked and Loaded here) but Paisley breaks it up. Chavo’s tornado DDT retains the title.
Post match Pops has to be dragged away from Paisley. Again, THIS ISN’T FUNNY.
Flair and company arrive.
Cat is waiting on Hogan.
Russo has a group of women to do whatever Goldberg wants. Goldberg sends them off.
Hogan arrives and Cat tells him that the title match is in ten minutes. Hulk agrees but gets blindsided by a guitar shot.
Horace is unconscious in the back.
Russo and David Flair come out for a chat. David should be praised for what he did last night, but Russo is tired of being everyone’s punching bag lately. Tony: “You could remedy that by staying out of the ring.” A New Yorker doesn’t have to take that and he’s ending this with Flair tonight. Ric comes out and says he has all the cards because Russo is now 2-1. Russo’s big comeback: “I HATE YOU FLAIR!”
Ric is ready to take David back but throws out a quick challenge for a match against Russo tonight. If Russo wins, Flair is gone. If Ric wins, he takes Russo’s place as a boss, gets David back and gets to shave Russo’s hair. Russo agrees if it can be a tag match with David and Reid involved. Ric says deal.
WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett is defending and Kidman comes out to be guest referee because that feud is still a thing. Jeff demands that Kidman count Hogan out but here’s Hollywood to start throwing punches. Hogan dominates to start and sends Jeff to the floor for some weightlifting belt shots.
Back in and Jeff punches in the corner but Kidman pulls him away. Kidman takes a chair away from Jeff on the floor and throws it to Hogan as Goldberg and Russo come out to the stage. Hogan hits the big boot and leg but Goldberg breaks it up and spears Hogan and Kidman. Goldberg Jackhammers him through a table and Jarrett spray paints him. Cue…..GI Bro for the save?
Well that was eventful. First of all, Kidman seems to have turned face, presumably for Horace turning on him last night. I don’t really get it either but that’s the story the announcers were pushing and I don’t have the strength to fight anymore. Goldberg vs. Hogan could be interesting until they have the actual match, but unless Goldberg breaks him in half and squashes him (no chance of that happening), it’s going to be a big mistake. The interesting thing here is GI Bro, who has gone from midcarder to the main event almost overnight. The military thing doesn’t fit in this role but at least the talented guy is moving up.
Here’s Diamond Dallas Page, wearing a shirt that says “whatever”, with something to say. Page has a lemon in his hand and says he’s going to put it in his beer after this is over. People have been telling him for years that he can’t do it, including starting wrestling at 35, making it to the main event and being World Champion. When he started wrestling he went up and down the roads with someone he thought was his friend, and that man was Eric Bischoff.
Cue Bischoff, Kanyon and Kimberly but Page says he couldn’t be here without his wife. Kimberly may not have believed in Page the wrestler but she believed in Page the person. Back then, Kimberly was a real woman instead of whatever she is now. Kanyon on the other hand was the one man that he ever took under his wing. He was the one person that Page taught the things his mentors (Jody Hamilton, Dusty Rhodes and Jake Roberts) taught him in the first place.
After last night though, Page doesn’t feel like getting back up again. Maybe Page was the problem, but he’s lost everything because of wrestling. If working with people like Bischoff is what that means, it’s not worth it. Page leaves through the crowd. This actually worked really well, partially because Bischoff didn’t get to say anything. Getting rid of one of the older guys, even for a little bit, could be a good thing for this promotion right now.
Then the moment is kind of wasted as the announcers do the big serious chat but Tony chuckles at Hudson for not having a shirt on.
Discussion about Sting getting burned, same problem with Hudson. If you want to see a man get burned, order the replay!
Here’s Vampiro to say no one believed he would do it last night. Sting is going to spend the rest of his life waking up from nightmares and seeing Vampiro in his dreams. More souls will be claimed.
Vampiro vs. The Demon
Demon has a torch because this is still a thing. They quickly fight to the floor and then the stage with Vampiro in control. He climbs up onto the video screen and some fire spits up from the stage. Vampiro dives down onto Demon and lands on his feet….with his knee buckling underneath him as the match is thrown out.
Steiner leaves Nash’s nephew with Shakira.
Russo is panicking about losing his hair.
Here are Kimberly and Positively Kanyon so Kimberly can debut her new perfume: Positively Me, at a cost of only $395. Kanyon says that he was recovering from his spinal cord injury (he winks), the people actually believed it. Bischoff came in and told Kanyon that all he had to do to be a star was turn on Page last night. Now though, he’s going to take everything there is he can from Page, including his moves, his music, his wife, and his book. It’s open challenge time.
Before we get to the match, we need to go over this. Last night at the pay per view, the announcers speculated that there were two possibilities:
1. Kanyon was hurt and Bischoff got inside his head.
2. Kanyon never was hurt and it was all staged.
Now you’re telling me that BOTH OF THEM HAPPENED??? Kanyon heavily implied that he faked his back injury but then said that Bischoff got in his head. So he was in the hospital, maybe not as bad as it seemed, and Bischoff got to him anyway? Or was the whole injury faked in the first place? If it was faked, why would Bischoff need to talk to him? As usual, WCW tries to make things WAY too complicated and the whole story falls apart because it doesn’t make sense.
Scott Steiner vs. Positively Kanyon
Non-title. Steiner wants to know why Kanyon is bragging about being with Kanyon when everyone has been with her. That was good. Scott throws him around to start but gets caught in a sitout Alabama Slam for two. The referee takes the Kanyon Cutter but Mike Awesome has to come in and break up the Steiner Recliner. We’ll say the match is thrown out around here. Kronik comes out for the save.
Post match the guys brawl to the back but Hancock stops Kimberly from leaving. Kimberly agrees to fight if she’ll take the glasses off, meaning it’s time for perfume to the eyes. Unfortunately they’re Kimberly’s eyes because the bottle was turned the wrong way. YOU HAD ONE JOB! Even worse: Hancock sells it and Kimberly breaks her glasses for the big triumphant moment.
Scott Steiner wants to kill Russo but Shakira has lost Nash’s nephew.
Vince Russo/David Flair vs. Ric Flair/Reid Flair
For Russo’s job, Ric’s career and hair vs. hair so Ric has hair clippers with him. Ric chops David to start and stops an interfering Russo. The chops have no effect on Russo so Ric unzips the jacket and finds a chest protector. Shouldn’t Russo have sold the chops anyway to prevent Ric from finding out? Oh wait, that isn’t what a MAN would do so Russo is fine. Ric puts David in the Figure Four but Russo blasts him with the bat.
Reid tries to make the save but David takes him down. Russo wants Beth to come in and gives her one last chance to jump on his bandwagon. He tells Beth to hit Ric with the Statue of Liberty but Russo does it instead. Vince starts choking as security fills the ring and have to hold Ashley back. David puts Ric in the Figure Four and Ric’s daughter Megan throws in the towel to give Russo and David the win. The fans are all over Russo for this and I’m sure that validates his decision.
Rating: F. Russo wins again. So he wins in the cage, he gets David completely on his side and now he gets to retire Flair and shave his head. If there is any doubt that this was all about Russo the entire time, I’d love to hear someone defend it now. The match isn’t the point here. Russo beat Ric the entire way here and won in the end with no one ever making Russo look bad. Russo wins and that’s what the entire show is about.
The fans are LIVID as David and Russo shave Ric’s hair. Oh and by the way: this is Ric’s last match in 2000. They get some of Reid’s hair too. Russo wins completely because David, who could have done THE EXACT SAME THING LAST NIGHT, is just an accessory here.
Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash
The New Blood is out with Goldberg and Nash is in street clothes. They slug it out to start and Nash knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Goldberg takes over with a superkick. Nash fights back and here’s the New Blood, allowing Goldberg to hit Nash with a chair. Goldberg hammers away as Nash’s nephew comes down to watch…..and here’s Russo to force the kid to watch.
Nash is out cold and busted open but Steiner comes in for the save. Scott beats down the cops so they go after him with billy clubs. Nash’s nephew comes in to check on Kevin as Russo hugs Goldberg to end the show. The match was thrown out at some point so no rating. I think you can guess my thoughts on it though.
Overall Rating: F. So tonight we lose Flair and probably Page for awhile and Russo stands tall. This company deserves to die with stories like this and I can’t say I would have missed them a bit if they were done the night after this show. The wrestling wasn’t a factor here of course as this was almost all about telling bad stories and trying to explain the nonsense from last night, but it only made things worse because Russo can’t tell stories. It’s only going to get worse from here as Russo and Bischoff try to make this whole thing even more about them.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Great American Bash 2000 (2015 Redo): The One Where A 14 Year Old Girl Mounts Vince Russo
GreatAmericanBash 2000 Date: June 11, 2000
Location: BaltimoreArena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,031 Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson
The company is in a very bad place right now and it seems like it can only get worse. At this point the company is all about Russo and Bischoff plus a few older wrestlers who can beat up huge groups of young talent in a matter of seconds. The main event here is Nash vs. Jarrett for the title, even though Nash has given away the World Title twice in the last year and a half. Let’s get to it.
By the way, this arena is a home base for WCW. To give you an idea of what they’ve fallen to, this same arena held Superbrawl 1995 with a double main event of Hogan vs. Vader II and Savage/Sting vs. Avalanche/Big Bubba Rogers. That show drew 13,390 people, or just shy of double what this had. Randy Savage and Sting vs. Big Boss Man and Earthquake as the second biggest match on the card drew over 6,000 more people than one of WCW’s longest running shows. Amazingly enough a match where you light someone on fire didn’t draw well in an old NWA stronghold.
We open with a recap of Goldberg, who was presumably arrested after Thunder went off the air. Yeah WCW brought him back and then didn’t bother to advertise him for this show because TV is more important than pay per view.
The regular opening video focuses on Flair vs. Flair, Hogan vs. Kidman and Sting vs. Vampiro. The hype for the World Title match: “Kevin Nash and Jeff Jarrett will square off for the World Title.” And it’s wedged between the Sting/Vampiro and Hogan/Kidman promos.
Here are the Misfits in Action for roll call. Lieutenant Loco’s mission is to defend the Cruiserweight Title so he pulls out a grenade. Rection yells at him for playing with toys so Loco just threatens to kill the Filthy Animals if they interfere.
Cruiserweight Title: Lieutenant Loco vs. Disco Inferno
Loco starts fast with a cross body as Madden calls the Animals WCW’s resident degenerates. Disco comes back with a knee to the ribs and makes sure to mock the Misfits. That’s fine with Loco who headscissors Disco to the floor for a beatdown because the Misfits are a bunch of cheaters. Loco gets knocked to the floor and takes a beating from the Animals until the Misfits run over for the save. The Animals didn’t save Disco earlier, likely because they didn’t like him very much.
Cue Rection’s dad to hit on Tygress but Rey shoves him down, seemingly into a coma. Juvy sneaks in during the melee but misses the People’s Elbow. The distraction works though as Disco scores with the Last Dance, only to have Corporal Cajun come in with a Russian legsweep neckbreaker to give Loco the pin to retain. The referee had no issue with Cajun putting Loco on top for the pin.
Rating: D. That ending took away anything good the match had built up, which wasn’t much in the first place. There’s too much going on here for me, including the ridiculous Papa/Pops Rection (of course that’s the joke Russo is going for) stuff. The match didn’t get any time and the ending made my head hurt, making this a bad start for a show I wasn’t happy with coming in.
Post match Gunns has to give Pops mouth to mouth. In an amusing bit, he sees who is waking him up and passes out again.
Cops guarantee Bischoff that he’s safe.
The Mamalukes are ready for Kronik and argue over who is the Hardcore Champion.
If you order this show, you can get a Hulk Hogan RAFT. Yes as in an inflatable raft that you can use to float in the water. WHY DO I NOT HAVE ONE OF THOSE???
Kronik vs. Mamalukes
Winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Kronik clears the ring to start and the Mamalukes make sure to polish the Hardcore Title. Clark and Johnny start as Vito is wearing the title on the apron. A release Rock Bottom (called a uranage suplex by Hudson, which might be accurate) plants Johnny and it’s off to Vito for a double ax handle to Clark’s shoulders.
That’s about it for Vito, who is likely tired from wrestling with a metal title belt on, so it’s back to Johnny who takes a full nelson slam from Adams. A LOUD Vito Sucks chant starts up as he breaks up a cover. Either that was piped in or the fans really don’t want this match to keep going. I could believe either actually. It’s back to Vito for a running clothesline in the corner but he misses a charge to let Adams take over again.
The belt is finally ripped off and Clark throws it to the floor. Hudson calls that disrespectful but that’s probably the best treatment the thing has gotten in months. A big F5 plants Vito but he gets up at two and kicks Adams in the face. Johnny comes back in with a good looking powerslam on Clark as Vito goes over to check on the belt. Clark avoids a top rope cross body and the High Times puts Johnny away while Vito polishes the title.
Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world here but my goodness did they really need to have the Hardcore Champions lose here? You can’t switch that back later or have another heel team in there instead? Also: it had a clean finish! Extra clean if you count Vito polishing the belt!
DDP says he has special motivation against Mike Awesome and he hopes Kimberly sticks her nose in this one.
Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mike Awesome
Ambulance match. Page wheels Kanyon out and yeah I’m sure you know what’s coming here. They slug it out to start and the referee gets decked fifteen seconds in. Both guys grab chairs and it’s time for a duel. Tony: “Like a samurai warrior!” First of all, wouldn’t it be two samurai warriors? And not in a wrestling ring? And in Japan? Awesome comes back with a clothesline and a splash as the referee is awake.
Tony thinks Awesome is going for a table. He might have been tipped off by Awesome pointing under the ring and shouting TABLE. Tony is getting better as you would have expected him to think shouting TABLE would mean it was time for two ladders and a Bastion Booger cameo. A powerbomb through the table means the EMTs come out to put Page on a stretcher and take him to the ambulance. Are the wrestlers now lazy enough that they won’t carry someone to the entrance?
Page gets up so Mike hits back to back Awesome Splashes but misses a third because two Awesome Splashes wake people up. That’s a wrestling thing in general so I can’t complain too much. Cue Kimberly with a pipe (yet another phallic weapon) to hit Page in the back. Tony: “She broke his back!” Miss Hancock comes out to take Kimberly to the back, leaving Page to hit Awesome low and Diamond Cut him off the top. That’s quite impressive for someone with a broken back.
They head to the stage with Awesome on the stretcher so here’s Bischoff to threaten Kanyon with a chair. Page makes the save and Kanyon gets out of the wheelchair to Kanyon Cut Page off the stage. He’s New Blood and puts Page on the stretcher as Bischoff’s music starts playing again. Awesome wins and they’re nice enough to play his music instead.
Rating: D. IT’S JUST SO SHOCKING! I mean, when Kimberly turned on Page at Spring Stampede, it was surprising. When Arquette turned on him at Slamboree, it was jarring. But this, the third straight pay per view where someone Page loves turns him on in a swerve that NO ONE, CERTAINLY NOT ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION AT LEAST, saw coming, it was just so shocking. Bad match of course, but that’s acceptable when something is shocking. Did I mention this was shocking? I know it’s three sentences in a row with that same idea, but if it works for turning on Page it can work for this too.
Now we get to my favorite part of a Russo show: the announcers trying to figure out what just happened. So here we have two options:
1. Bischoff talked to Kanyon in the hospital and convinced him to turn on Page, likely due to Page being a bigger star and getting Kanyon to believe that he deserved the spotlight.
2. Kanyon never was hurt and was convinced to be THROWN OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE for a big swerve because just hitting Page with a chair was too complicated.
The first one is much more logical, but I have a strong hunch that we’re going to get the second one instead because it’s a bigger swerve. Shocking you see. Always shocking.
GI Bro vs. Shawn Stasiak
Boot Camp match, which means last man standing, based on a single match on Thunder from a few weeks back. Booker repels in from the ceiling and Stasiak has camouflage paint on his face. There’s some loud screeching noise as he talks about being the perfect soldier of fortune. It sounds like a crow getting its feathers pulled out and I have no idea where it’s coming from.
They brawl in the ring and quickly head outside with Booker in control. Back in and a top rope ax handle (I think? Booker only grazed him on the side of the head.) gets five. Shawn comes back with a hot shot and a back elbow to the jaw for eight (that’s a lot so early on). A trip to the floor makes it even worse for Booker and Shawn takes him back inside for a top rope clothesline for nine.
They head into the crowd with Shawn in full control and hitting Booker in the back for our first weapon shot nine minutes into this thing. We hit a sleeper on Booker as the fans think this is very boring. The hold may be boring, but at least it gives Tony a chance to screw up his timeline by saying Stasiak and Palumbo won the titles within the last week.
Booker fights up with an Angle Slam and a Rock Bottom but here’s Palumbo with the workout bar. An ax kick puts him down but Stasiak gets in a shot with the bar. Booker clotheslines both of them down and hits Palumbo in the face with the exercise bar, which of course doesn’t even knock him out for half a second. Another shot to Shawn’s face is good for the ten count to give Booker the win.
Rating: D-. Gah they were so close to just a boring match here when they had the Tag Team Champions get beaten down by one guy. This really should have been a regular match and is a good example of a match that was hurt by the gimmick. As a regular match it would have been more acceptable (not good mind you), but as a last man standing match it’s horrible. For the life of me I don’t get the appeal of Stasiak. The guy is passable in the ring and that’s the extent of his appeal. It’s no surprise to me that he was retired by 2002 because there just wasn’t much upside to him.
A minor trivia note: clips from the previous two matches and from a recent Thunder were used in a game on an episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway.
Kanyon says Bischoff came to the hospital and told him that all he had to do to be a star was put Page out. We see Page getting out of the ambulance before it left the arena. However, since we’re in Russo land, they wedge another angle into this with Goldberg’s monster truck being seen in the parking lot. Kanyon is positive that Page is gone. In fact he’s positively Kanyon.
Let’s go back to that truck arriving. I understand the idea of wanting to make things seem realistic and that worked here: Page is in the parking lot and the camera happens to see the Goldberg truck in the same parking lot. However, again it feels like there’s too much going on at any given time. This was something else forced into the show that doesn’t need to be here, or at least not at this exact time. Let the Page shot be its own thing so it looks like something we should care about.
Shane Douglas vs. The Wall
Before the match, Shane has something to say. Well at least it keeps us from seeing him wrestle. He promises to define his career at the Wall’s expense while the New Blood is getting rid of Hulk Hogan and “Dick Flair.” Hudson: “It’s Ric Flair.” Shane wants to make it a best of five tables matches (I think so at least. He starts by saying best of five table matches (as in five table matches) then goes to saying five tables will be broken, which would make it best of nine and then switches to best out of five). Tony says it’s the first to go through five tables is the loser but then calls that person the survivor. I’m lost but Wall agrees.
So I think it’s the first to put your opponent through three tables because you have to go by what they mean and not what they say. There are tables around the ring to save some time. Wall gorilla presses him down and shoves Shane away off a swinging neckbreaker attempt. Hudson says it’s best of nine again and my head keeps hurting. Shane comes back with a running knee to the face and a clothesline to put Wall on the floor.
A few rams into the barricade don’t do much to Wall so he chokeslams Shane through the first table. Shane goes through the second a few moments later and now we’re told it’s first to three. It astounds me that they didn’t WRITE THIS STUFF DOWN IN ADVANCE but that might not be totally realistic, which is what you’re shooting for in a match built around putting people through tables. A low blow has little effect on Wall. Hudson: “That’s what we call no selling.” Actually that’s what we call it Scott. You’re supposed to be smarter than that. It’s why you have a job.
They head up to the entrance where there just happens to be a ladder with three tables stacked on top of each other next to it. Both guys climb the ladder and Shane nails him with brass knuckles, causing Wall to jump through two and a half of the three tables but we’ll count it as three anyway.
Rating: F. The match ran just over eight minutes and they didn’t know the rules for the first five or six. I….yeah move on to the next match. It makes the show move faster and means I don’t have to think about the fact that not only can WCW not book a show properly, but they also can’t count.
Hogan arrives an hour and fifteen minutes into the show. Unless I missed it, he left a nice Dodge Charger in the middle of the parking lot and didn’t take the keys with him. Does anyone in this family know how to take care of cars?
US Title: Tank Abbott vs. Scott Steiner
Scott is defending and this is inside the mini Asylum cage. The bell rings without the cage being lowered so Penzer says that since the Asylum is Scott’s signature match, let’s make it a handicap match with Rick Steiner on Tank’s side.
US Title: Tank Abbott/Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner
The fans chant for Goldberg and the cage is finally lowered. Not all the way to the mat or anything of course, but who doesn’t want the cage to move around the ring during a match? The Freaks get on the apron to cheer for Scott and Tank accidentally hits Rick with a chain. Rick might have shoved Rick out of the way to take the bullet but we need to get on to Scott hitting Tank with the chain and putting on the Recliner to retain.
Rating: F. The cage match itself lasted maybe a minute and a half and had a highlight of Shakira and Midajah in some rather fetching outfits. Rick and Tank look like even bigger losers than they have in the past, there’s no recap of why these guys are fighting (I think they brawled a few weeks ago on Nitro? Maybe?) and the Asylum is stupid. Next please.
Ric Flair and company arrives, an hour and twenty minutes into the show. He looks like Doc Brown Goes Hawaiian.
We recap Hogan vs. Kidman with Horace as referee. Hogan thought Kidman couldn’t headline a flea market (first mentioned on TV about six weeks into the feud) so Kidman got some unofficial pins on him, only to lose on pay per view. Tonight it’s Hogan’s career vs. a title shot next month.
Regarding Horace, Hollywood says blood is thicker than New Blood.
Kidman vs. Hollywood Hogan
Kidman’s on again/off again partner and Hollywood’s nephew Horace Hogan is guest referee. They circle each other before the bell because this has to be dragged out as long as they can. Some right hands sends Kidman outside early, followed by a big boot to put him outside again. Back in again and Hulk does his horribly outdated choking. Kidman gets in a few kicks and that’s enough selling for now, meaning it’s weightlifting belt time.
They’re outside for the third time in five minutes and Kidman dropkicks a chair into his face to get his first advantage. How nice of Hogan to let him do that. Kidman tries a DDT but the camera clearly shows that Hogan’s head never comes near colliding with anything. A top rope splash gets two for Kidman but it’s time for more right hands to get Hogan back in control.
Outside again with a hiptoss putting Kidman through the table (did dust fly off the table when he hit it?), revealing Tony’s blue jacket, green pants and tennis shoes. Egads man. Anyway here’s Torrie to hand Hogan brass knuckles but Kidman knocks Hulk into Torrie, knocking her off the apron. Kidman hits Hulk with the knuckles for two and punches out Horace for counting slowly, only to have Torrie hit Kidman low. Another punch from Hulk with the knuckles puts Kidman away and sends Hogan to Bash at the Beach.
Rating: D-. How gracious Hogan was to let Kidman beat him up for all of a minute and a half. It’s another wasted match with Hogan going over by cheating and a guest referee who didn’t change a thing. I actually forgot that Horace was even in this for the most part, again proving that the gimmick didn’t add anything.
Hulk and Horace hug. Uh….yay?
Bischoff is panicking because Goldberg might show up. The cops ensure him that perimeter is secure.
Quick recap of Vince Russo vs. Ric Flair though they lie and say it’s David fighting his father. Basically Ric is the worst father ever and David called him out on it. Then Russo beat Flair inside the Cell because he’s a man and Ric is a boy.
David and Russo say Ric is retired tonight.
Ric promises to do the same things he’s promised to do for twenty years.
The Flair Family comes to their seats.
Ric Flair vs. David Flair
Ric takes his son into the corner and taps him on the jaw as the announcers talk about Russo being able to do things that no one has ever been able to accomplish. They head outside with Ric being sent into the barricade to give David control. A sleeper breaks up David’s suplex and it’s time for the chops. David clotheslines him to the floor and Russo gets in some ball bat shots before he handcuffs Ric’s hands together. We hit a bad Figure Four until Ric makes the ropes.
Russo chokes Ric so Reid jumps the barricade (WAY too common recently) and gets shoved down. Reid hits him low and steals the handcuff keys but David shoves him into the corner. Ric gets the keys and uncuffs himself, leaving Ashley (Charlotte, who looks almost the same as she does now at 14 years old here) to take Russo down and cuff him, likely fulfilling ANOTHER sick Russo fantasy that I really don’t need to think about.
Russo swears at the 14 year old (after shoving the 12 year old) and Ric thrusts his hips at him. A slam brings David off the top and the Figure Four makes David tap in two seconds, thereby proving the Russo is in fact more than 35 times tougher than David as he survived seventy seconds without tapping on Monday.
Rating: D. To quote the Gorilla: WILL YOU STOP??? This was every Russo problem rolled into one as there was WAY too much going on, but above all else it felt like some sick idea that only Russo wanted to see. “Here’s what I’m seeing: I beat up the 12 year old who looks just like the kids that beat me up every day, then the 14 year old blonde mounts me like none of them ever would back in high school because I liked this stupid wrestling stuff that I have to write now because I’m cursed to be made a millionaire.”
Russo has already had a woman kidnapped a dozen times or so and now he’s got this. How is any of this stuff supposed to make anyone but Russo look good? David gets beaten up but Russo already got to be all manly in the Figure Four Monday night when he beat Ric. I’m shocked that he doesn’t have Miss Hancock bowing down and worshiping him already, but then he might have to write even more columns and books about how hard this was on him and how it broke his life or whatever “FEEL SORRY FOR ME AND MY MANLINESS” nonsense Russo still gets people to pay for.
Russo lets Ric chop him once before swearing revenge tomorrow on Nitro. So yeah: this meant nothing, Russo is still fine, and the battle will continue with Russo coming back stronger than ever. Ric, Reid and Beth do crotch chops at Russo, who swears to retire Ric tomorrow night. He’s going to beat Flair again tomorrow isn’t he?
We recap Vampiro vs. Sting which is about Vampiro wanting to burn Sting alive because it was interesting when Kane wanted to do it to Undertaker and let’s just do it again here.
Sting vs. Vampiro
There’s a torch hanging by the entrance and you have to get your opponent up there and light them on fire to win. There are firemen, cops and an ambulance waiting in the back. We can add “keeping civil servants busy” to Russo’s amazing list of accomplishments from this show alone. Sting appears on top of the video screen and tells Vampiro to come up here. Vampiro is scared of heights though because Russo writes characters with depth you see.
Never mind as Sting comes down and we start an actual match. Well as close to an actual match as this is going to get. Madden quotes 8mm by saying “You dance with the devil, the devil don’t change. The devil changes you.” but treats it like his own line. Vampiro pours gasoline over Sting and they fight up the ramp. Both guys climb the structure but Sting gets kicked off and through part of the set.
It isn’t enough to keep him down though and they climb to the top of the structure above the video screen where the torch is hanging. The lights start going nuts and they slug it out for a good while. Vampiro DDTs him down and the lights go completely out. Vampiro finally gets the torch and lights Sting on fire. Sting is so scared that he’s lost a few inches of hair and has learned how to take a stuntman fall off a high video tower.
Rating: N/A. As Scott Hudson would say after the match, this isn’t wrestling anymore. This is about doing a big stunt like we’re in a Michael Bay movie. On top of that, a long stretch of this “match” was spent punching each other on top of a big video screen. How is anything supposed to follow this? Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash? That’s supposed to interest me after this big ending?
Firemen and agent cover the stuntman with fire extinguishers so you can’t see that it’s not him.
The announcers treat this all seriously (as they should) but then the replays ruin the whole thing by showing that the fire was out before Sting hit the crash pad.
Pamela Paulshock asks Bischoff about the big surprise but Bischoff says it’s not happening because of Goldberg.
WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash
Nash won his shot in a tag match after giving the title to Flair, who had been trading it back and forth with Jeff in an attempt to build a years long legacy in five weeks. After Nash comes out, here’s the Cat to introduce the celebrities, including the bale (yes bale) ringer Konnan, timekeeper Rey Mysterio, belt keeper Disco Inferno and ring announcer Juventud Guererra. Oh and Cat himself is guest enforcer referee. Well to be fair, Nash has beaten like ten people at once multiple times now so this is probably in his favor.
Nash punches the Animals down before going after Jarrett in the corner. In a weird moment, some noise from the entrance stops the match cold and everyone looks up that way but it winds up going nowhere and Nash clotheslines Jeff to the floor. Snake Eyes puts Jeff on the announcers’ table and they brawl into the crowd, which is at least a faster way to kill time than letting them do moves in the ring (I’m not sure about calling what Nash does wrestling).
The Animals beat Nash down at ringside and Jeff gets in a few chair shots. The fans chant for Goldberg as the old school leg work continues. Imagine any old Ric Flair match, slow it down by 40%, and cut off some of Ric’s hair if you want to picture what’s going on here. The Figure Four lets Nash lay around even more until he grabs the ropes. Konnan adds a bell shot for two and Disco throws in the belt, only to have Nash intercept it and knock Jeff cold.
Disco makes up for it by taking out the referee at two and the GOLDBERG chants are getting even louder. Cat comes in and Nash fights off the Animals again, only to eat the Stroke for a delayed two. Jeff tries the guitar but gets chokeslammed for two as Cat has something in his eye.
There’s a powerbomb to Cat and a second to Nash but Rick Steiner comes in to go after Nash. This brings out Tank Abbott to brawl with Scott Steiner who was there to intercept Rick. Juvy gets launched into a dropkick on Nash, followed by a Bronco Buster from Rey. We FINALLY get Goldberg and yeah of course he’s New Blood. Why is he New Blood? SHOCKING! The spear (and a horrible one) lets Jeff retain.
Rating: F. Disco and Chavo, who could have a good match if they were left alone, get about five minutes and this gets over seventeen. Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels had to be at their best to get seventeen good minutes out of Kevin Nash and we’re stuck with a middle of the road Jeff Jarrett to try instead?
The overbooking might have been a good idea here but the whole “let’s throw away the one last glimmer of hope we have” In case you’re wondering how this great move helped ratings, the Nitro before this got a 2.8, the next night got a 3.0 (Raw was at a 6.8) and the next week Nitro was a 2.7. Shock value continues to not work in the ratings but Russo will keep swearing by it because people talk about it. Talking doesn’t equal watching of course but Russo doesn’t equal wrestling so it all evens out somehow.
Russo and Bischoff come out of the monster truck and the heels all pose. To sum up WCW’s brilliance and how predictable Russo was at this point, Madden talks about how no one saw this coming as the camera is on a GOLDBERG IS NEW BLOOD sign. Oh and the fans are still chanting GOLDBERG because he’s still awesome and more interesting than anyone in the promotion because of how intense he can be. Trash fills the ring to end the show.
Overall Rating: S. For SHOCKING, which is the word of the night. We’re at the point where just calling these shows failures is nowhere near strong enough. I have no idea what the thinking is here other than trying to catch the fans off guard, but as that sign showed: people had figured Russo’s booking out a long time ago because it’s always the last thing you would expect/the dumbest idea they could go with.
We’re now on Hogan (#1 contender), Nash, Flair and Steiner as the top faces (the youngest of these would be Steiner at 37) vs. the combined forces of Eric Bischoff, Vince Russo, Goldberg and Jeff Jarrett, meaning the World Champion is now, at best, the fourth biggest heel on this roster (there’s a case for Vampiro being above him too). And this is supposed to make me want to keep watching.
Russo has lost what little sanity he had left and has moved on to nothing but shock value for the sake of shock value with his booking decisions. This show was built on one idea and the fans filled the ring with trash while still chanting for the new top level heel. That’s his big takeaway from this: the fans hate him and one of his top stars was burned up like he was part of a Labor Day barbecue.
There’s nothing good on this show and I don’t remember the last time I gave so many matches a failing grade. The best match was probably Kronik vs. the Mamalukes, meaning the match where a guy turned away from a chance to become #1 contender to the Tag Team Titles so he could polish the joke title that he was given off camera on Wednesday. In two and three quarter hours, I can’t think of a single thing better than a below average #1 contenders tag team match that lasted about nine minutes.
Now the World Champion looks like a joke, Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan are WAY too old to mean anything, Ric Flair is stuck in an eternal feud with a writer who already beat him in a big gimmick match and the most popular guy on the roster was just turned heel to give the heel stable a big gun. Oh and the World Champion is a lame duck waiting for Hogan to take the title again next month.
This is the rare show that feels like it’s designed to punish the audience for watching. It felt like Russo saying “SCREW YOU PEOPLE! You think you’re smarter than me with your internet saying Russo jumped the shark? I’ll show you what you can do with your little protests. ALL SWERVES THAT YOU’LL NEVER SEE COMING!” And then the fans are stuck here, watching Russo get mounted by a 14 year old who handcuffs him so he can swear at her before promising to get revenge on Ric again (which I’m sure he will because this company is his playground). Awful show that gets worse and worse the more I think about it.
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Thunder – June 7, 2000: Let’s See If He Can Screw This Up Too
Thunder Date: June 7, 2000
Location: Civic Coliseum, Knoxville, Tennessee
Attendance: 3,088
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan
It’s the final show before the Great American Bash and this week’s Nitro was one of the biggest disasters I’ve ever seen. WCW has decided to make the old and new talent look horrible, aside from Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner, because they’re the future I guess. It can always get worse though so let’s get to it.
Nitro clips and we’re moving on.
Bischoff and lawyers arrive. Oh geez this is going to be bad.
Opening sequence.
Here are Bischoff and the lawyers with something to say. After sucking up to the fans, Bischoff gets right to the point: Goldberg is suspended for ninety days for his actions on Monday. Yeah that guy that we built up for months that you might want to see? He’s already gone again. On a more serious note, Jarrett is out of the main event of Great American Bash due to what Sting did to him on Monday. This brings out Jarrett wearing a neck brace, leg cast and arm sling while limping on a cane. Well he’s certainly selling.
Jeff is all serious and apologizes to everyone even though it was all Sting’s fault. Cue Nash with a bat, which he says is going to be used to take Jeff’s temperature. Instead he hits Jeff in the bad arm and loads up the Jackknife but Bischoff swings the bat at Kevin. That goes nowhere so Jeff takes off the rest of the protective gear and attacks, only to be knocked to the floor with ease. Weren’t you watching Nitro Jeff? You need AT LEAST seven people to take Nash down or else he might pin you without touching you.
Captain Rection is giving orders for the Misfits’ biggest mission yet.
Russo and David Flair bring in a bunch of senior citizens for some reason with Russo insulting all of them.
Daffney comes up to David Flair and asks why he hasn’t called her. She accuses him of cheating on her with “Miss Peacock.”
Kimberly and Jarrett are yelling at Bischoff while Cat yells at both of them. Jeff finally tells all of them, including Cat, to get out.
Cruiserweight Title: Daffney vs. Lieutenant Loco vs. Disco Inferno
Daffney is defending. The Animals and Misfits are all here too, basically making it a lumberjack match. Konnan spews what is supposed to be English but I’m not entirely convinced. Disco: “Word to your mother.” Tygress joins in on commentary and this could go badly. Disco goes for a quick rollup on the champ but Loco makes the save and brawls with Disco in the corner.
That’s fine with Daffney who adds a middle rope Frankenscreamer. Now Loco and Daffney yell at each other until Disco headlocks him, only to get suplexed back down. Cue Crowbar to run inside and dive on the Misfits but here’s Miss Hancock to yell at Daffney. This brings out Kimberly to shove Hancock into Daffney, which brings out Major Gunns to yell at Kimberly for interfering. The match of course breaks down and Rey hits a Bronco Buster on Chavo. Everyone runs in and GI Bro cleans house with a Rock Bottom to Disco, giving Loco the pin and the title. As always, WAY too much in so short a match.
Gunns gives Chavo CPR because a match not even lasting three minutes has knocked him out.
Kidman kind of apologizes to Torrie for treating her like garbage on Monday. Well that’s nice of him.
Russo summons the Cat.
After a break, Cat has ejected the MIA from the building.
Kidman vs. Major Stash
Kidman has Horace with him. Before the match, Kidman says he knows they can trust each other after Monday. That might be a record for their longest time since turning on each other. Kidman goes after Stash to start but the big guy throws him down and knocks Horace to the floor where he belongs. Stash starts taking over with the power and tosses Kidman out of the corner with ease.
Horace tries to validate his existence by pulling Stash to the floor, setting up a plancha from Kidman. Now we get to a big reason why the relaxed rules don’t work: Kidman distracts the referee so Horace can whip Stash into the steps. It’s been made clear that cheating is legal now so why is Kidman bothering with the distraction? Anyway Stash comes back with a superplex but Horace comes in with a Death Valley Driver (with no distraction this time), allowing Kidman to drop a top rope elbow for the pin.
Kidman calls Torrie down for some “making up” but she slaps him in the face and leaves.
And now, a dance lesson with the Cat as he teaches the group of seniors. One of them threatens to smack the bleach out of his hair. This has been a dance lesson with the Cat.
Here are Russo and David with the seniors and it’s time for a party. Could this be a party to make fun of Ric Flair by any chance? I’m just guessing here of course. There’s a goodbye cake in the ring and I’m kind of curious to see if Russo can screw up the oldest idea in wrestling. Well the oldest one that he hasn’t screwed up yet because he’s already ruined the actual wrestling part of it.
David rips on his dad as he’s done in the past and Russo brags about being 2-0 in wrestling. He isn’t supposed to be here tonight due to a concussion and torn ligaments (real men don’t limp!) but he couldn’t miss this party. Russo says these are Ric’s friends because they’re all so old and it’s time to sing For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow. This brings out an even bigger cake, which Russo thinks has Ric inside.
Ric shows his intelligence though by coming out from under the ring and attacking from behind (because you can’t fight Vince Russo and David Flair in a straight fight. They’re intimidating you see.) and putting both of them into the cake. So yeah, Russo wins inside the Cell on Monday without ever selling being in the Figure Four for seventy seconds but Ric got to shove them into a cake. Somehow, I bet Russo thinks Ric got the better of this.
Rick Steiner, Tank Abbott and the Goldberg truck are here.
Bischoff says Goldberg is arrested if he comes in the building. Will the cops pull guns on him like they did with Hogan a few months back?
The Mamalukes are in the back when the Wall attacks them, meaning it’s time for a Hardcore Title match. Yes title match, because Bischoff gave them the title off camera since he wouldn’t even vacate a title on screen. Does this surprise anyone? The Freebird Rule is in effect.
Hardcore Title: Mamalukes vs. The Wall
The Wall pounds on both guys but here’s Johnny with a 4 foot tall box of Kraft macaroni and cheese. Come on Kraft, this is where you thought product placement was a good idea? The fight goes into the parking lot with the Mamalukes doing what they can against the monster (well as much of a monster as he is these days), eventually taking him into the arena and the fans. This is the walking around with the occasional punching style.
Into the ring they go with the Mamalukes hitting a double hiptoss into a powerbomb for two. Wall pops up, kicks Vito in the face and chokeslams Johnny before grabbing a table. Well what else was he going to do? Johnny is about to be thrown through the table but here’s Shane Douglas with a chair to Wall’s back, followed by a running powerbomb through the table. A top rope splash from Johnny is enough to retain the title.
Rating: D. So….best hardcore match in months? It’s probably better that they just gave the Mamalukes the title because they could actually get something out of it instead of just doing the same Terry Funk/Bischoff nonsense that made the belt even more of a joke than it already was. If they have to have the title around, at least let someone young use it to maybe get over.
Wall sits up like Undertaker and chases Shane off. The Mamalukes are just standing around so here’s Tank Abbott to knock them both out. It does make sense as they’ve been champions for all of six minutes so it must be time to make them look worthless. Tank wants Goldberg again and would love a rematch anytime. This Sunday, he’s going to make Scott Steiner his freak, but tonight he wants someone sexy. Oh man Nash vs. Abbott could be GOLD.
Abbott calls Nash out (after we cut away to a movie promo of course) and goes outside to yell at Schiavone’s son, who throws soda at him. Geez Tony hasn’t disciplined his son very well. Cue Nash for a brawl until Rick Steiner makes it 2-1, drawing out Scott Steiner for the save. This brings out Bischoff to say tonight it’s Steiner’s turn to run the New Blood gauntlet. If Nash interferes he’s out of the title shot and if Goldberg appears, he’s arrested.
Goldberg is in the back.
Cat yells at some cops.
Mike Awesome arrives in his ambulance.
Corporal Cajun vs. Mike Awesome
And for once it’s not an ambulance match! Awesome goes right after him to start because this should be a squash but is likely to be something else entirely. A big clothesline puts Cajun down, followed by a powerbomb and a splash for two. There’s the Awesome Splash from the top but let’s get a table instead of covering. Awesome drops Cajun with another clothesline and sets up the Awesome Bomb but here’s Page for the DQ, which is likely ruled a no contest because there was no bell. I know this isn’t traditional, but when someone interferes and attacks one of the wrestlers, it’s a DQ.
Awesome fights back with a halo shot and powerbombs Page through the table.
Hollywood Hogan arrives.
The cops are too busy looking at Kimberly to go after Goldberg.
Tag Team Titles: GI Bro/Captain Rection vs. Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo
Stasiak and Palumbo are defending of course. Rection and Stasiak get things going and this is pretty easily one of the worst ideas you could have in a match. Rection takes over with a clothesline and it’s off to Bro for a double elbow. Booker deserves so much better than this but at least he’s not another face in the crowd. Some double teaming puts Shawn down so it’s off to Palumbo who scores with the Jungle Kick (I have no idea why it’s called that but I like the name) to take over on Rection.
Cue Rection’s crazy dad from like three months ago as Stasiak comes in sans tag with a top rope clothesline for two. Chuck comes back in for a jumping back elbow as Rection’s dad seems to be enjoying Gunns’ camouflage trunks. His son keeps getting beat up as the announcers finally remember this stupid angle. Bro comes in for a failed save attempt but it lets Rection powerslam Chuck for a breather. It’s legally off to Bro for some house cleaning before he brings the Captain back in for a top rope elbow. No Laughing Matter but Dad comes in for a distraction, allowing Palumbo to blast Rection with the workout bar for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not bad actually and again that’s likely to it getting more time than almost any other match. Also, points to Russo for actually only putting in one angle before the cheating ending. That’s a lot better than usual, but it’s also really depressing when resurrecting a one off angle from the spring is a sign of improvement.
Kronik comes out to help destroy the champions.
Sting vs. The Cat
Before the match we get some dancing and bad grammar from Cat. Sting comes down but gets jumped by Vampiro, who sprays him with a fire extinguisher. No match, which is probably best for everyone all around.
Vampiro uses Sting’s own moves on him before lighting the announcers’ table on fire. Sting gets the extinguisher and puts the fire out but misses the Stinger Splash against the barricade. Vampiro Rock Bottoms him through the table and promises that it’s going to be Sting’s flesh burning on Sunday. Just burn each other already so we can get done with this stupid feud.
Gene brings out Hollywood Hogan for a chat. After name dropping Hall to explain being back in black, he says he’s bored with the New Blood stuff. He rips on Kidman for being a flea market champion and calls Horace the bad apple in the barrel. If Hogan wins, he gets a title shot at Bash at the Beach. But will he still be bored then? You know, because he’s bored now instead of angry and wanting to get revenge. Posing ensues.
Gauntlet Match
I know this isn’t going to go well but can we please at least have real pins? Is that too much to ask? If Nash interferes, he loses his title shot. As Steiner makes his entrance, Tony throws in two more matches for Sunday’s card with a Cruiserweight Title match and a #1 contenders match to the Tag Team Titles, just to show how important those titles really are. Before the match, Steiner promises to come after Bischoff when this is done. Bischoff comes out with the New Blood and sends Candido in first.
Chris does better than anyone did on Nitro, surviving a full thirty seconds before getting pinned by a belly to belly superplex. A regular belly to belly puts Stasiak away in another twenty seconds (counting time spent running to the ring). Palumbo comes in, picks up Midajah, and gets caught in the Recliner for the submission. Scott Steiner just beat both Tag Team Champions in one minute even. Cat takes a Recliner of his own but the rest of the New Blood comes in and the match is thrown out.
Nash leaves his locker room and runs into a guitar shot from Jarrett. Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott are in to help on the beatdown and Scott is put in a straitjacket. They try to put him in a bodybag but here’s Goldberg to clean house. Bischoff sends the cops in to arrest Goldberg to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. This show had some moments but it’s really just a lot less bad than Monday’s show. Unfortunately that doesn’t make it good and I’m really not even sure what I’m supposed to be looking forward to on Sunday. Could they not do Goldberg vs. Abbott there and just have Steiner vs. Steiner for the US Title in that mini cage? Bad show here, but there was some good action at times. Oh and Chavo being Cruiserweight Champion is a nice change of pace and he would make the most of it in the coming months.
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Monday Nitro #243 Date: June 5, 2000
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden
It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and they finally have the main event set as Kevin Nash is going to get a shot at Jeff Jarrett’s World Title. Tonight’s big match is the long awaited Goldberg vs. Tank Abbott showdown. Given that it’s a Russo run show, you never know what changes we might see so let’s get to it.
We recap Abbott vs. Goldberg in a failed attempt to make us believe that Abbott has a chance.
Here are Russo and Bischoff to open things up with Eric professing his LOVE for the crowd. If this show is as bad as I’m expecting, he needs to work on how he professes his affection for people. Bischoff brags about Luger being out with a broken face and Liz being too scared to come out of her dressing room. Wait if Luger isn’t here why did Liz show up?
Tonight Nash is running the New Blood gauntlet and if he loses, he’s out of the title match on Sunday. Also, Jarrett will defend the title against Sting. If they love Jarrett so much, why are they always putting him through this stuff? Russo whines about being forced out of New York and having nothing left to do but come down here to Atlanta. Tonight he’s going to destroy Space Mountain inside the big cage (a Cell instead of a regular cage) and give Flair the brain damage he deserves.
Bischoff promises to take the Hardcore Title from Terry Funk tonight. He’s not kidding is he? Eric rants about Goldberg messing up the plans to take out Nash last week and threatens to suspend him, only to have Goldberg himself come out. Russo says Goldberg has never dealt with a New Yorker and tells him to SPEAR THIS and does a crotch chop. So he wants…..never mind. Goldberg charges through security but the bosses escape.
After a break we look at what just happened and DJ Ran can be heard in the background. At least he’s not up in my area anymore.
Bischoff and Russo yell at the New Blood. Torrie can be seen storming off as this goes on. Good for her.
Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Chuck Palumbo/Shawn Stasiak
Rematch from Thunder where Stasiak/Palumbo took the belts via DQ. It’s a brawl to start until we get down to Palumbo charging into Clark’s elbow as the other two fight on the ramp. Shouldn’t Stasiak be destroyed by Adams in a straight fight? All four wind up in the ring and Clark plants Palumbo with a quick Meltdown. Remember when that was a big move and not just a transitional one for a guy in a tag team?
To make sure it’s clear how low that move has sunk, Adams throws Chuck (still legal I believe) to the floor to work on Stasiak, who seems to be legal by default now. Cue the Cat as Stasiak punches back on Adams but Palumbo has to come in to break up a piledriver attempt. A neckbreaker from Shawn brings Palumbo back in but Stasiak comes right back in with a high cross body.
Adams is tired of his hair being messed up and grabs a backbreaker on Shawn, setting up the tags to Clark and Palumbo. Clark cleans house but the Cat gets in the ring and threatens the referee. Palumbo and Clark fight into the crowd and Adams drops Stasiak onto the steps. With everyone on the floor, Cat grabs the referee and demands a count right now. Adams throws Stasiak in and Cat counts a very fast eight nine ten to retain the titles.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match but you knew we were getting a screwy ending. Here’s the problem with this show: the ending here makes sense as Palumbo and Stasiak can’t hang with Kronik in a straight match so the heel boss is cheating. That’s standard operating procedure and makes sense here. However, when you have some kind of shenanigans of some sort in every match, something good like this has no impact.
Kronik goes after Cat but the champs make the save and take the beating themselves.
Kidman yells at Torrie (in a bikini with a skirt) for some reason until Major Gunns of all people makes the save, earning her some swearing.
Nash doesn’t have much to say about the gauntlet match but chuckles at being the last man in the building. “My gimmick’s alive!”
Video on Kidman vs. Hogan.
Gunns cries to the Misfits about what Kidman said to her. G.I. Bro promises to take care of things.
Goldberg chats with Nash and Steiner.
G.I. Bro vs. Kidman
So why would Russo and Bischoff grant Bro this match and what else did they have planned here? Booker is wrestling in his hat and clotheslines Kidman down to start. Some right hands in the corner have Kidman in even more trouble but Booker calls Gunns in for Shattered Dreams but here’s Kidman to hit him low instead. As usual, the referee doesn’t care about interference so Booker gets the pin off a Rock Bottom.
Both groups come in for the brawl and the Animals dominate.
Hardcore Title: Eric Bischoff vs. Terry Funk
Funk is defending and Bischoff has the Cat with him to make this a bit less painful. Cat kicks a chair into Funk’s face, allowing Bischoff to demonstrate his nunchucks. Funk comes back with a trashcan and shields himself from Bischoff’s shots over and over. The villains run away and Funk chases them to the back…..and that’s it for now I guess.
The announcers chat so here’s Miss Hancock to dance. Before she can get anywhere, here are Kimberly and Awesome (with new music). Kimberly accuses Hancock of stealing her spotlight and doing it very poorly. Apparently the stripping secretary look was out in 1993 and isn’t doing anything for Hancock today. Kimberly hits her with the clipboard and leaves, but Hancock calls Kimberly fat (likely not allowed on TV today) and tells her to get back here. They’ll fight later apparently.
As they leave, Funk wheels Bischoff back to ringside (with Awesome looking at them without stopping) but we cut to the back (segment #4 in this match) to see Russo sending in the Mamalukes. Funk loads up a Stinkface but the Mamalukes come in and lay out Funk in less than two minutes, giving Bischoff the pin and the title.
Rating: F. Why let a wrestler do this when you can have a writer do it for you? The whole idea has been throwing challenger after challenger at Funk and he somehow escapes each time. Now for some reason the big ending is Bischoff taking the title instead of the Mamalukes, who haven’t done anything in months other than be more names on a long list of New Blood members. Let them be the ones to take the title instead, because this was all about giving Bischoff the spotlight because he hasn’t gotten enough of it yet. Such is life in WCW.
The Flairs are here.
US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Vampiro
Steiner is defending and talks about meeting up with some woman in Atlanta earlier today. For reasons that likely connect to Russo’s view on women, the Freaks are very pleased by this story. Vampiro has the gas and blow torch with him. The champ pounds away in the corner to start and throws Vampiro around with ease. A hard clothesline sets up the bicep elbow and they head outside.
Steiner blasts him in the back with a chair and slams him through a table as this is totally one sided so far. Vampiro pops back up and sends Scott into the barricade before throwing him back inside for a top rope spinwheel kick. There’s a blow torch to the face, only to have Midajah come in off the top with a high cross body. Vampiro chases her up the ramp with the gas and torch but here’s Sting for the save. Again, NONE OF THIS IS A DQ so Steiner suplexes Vampiro again and puts on the Recliner to retain.
Rating: D. So Steiner squashes Vampiro, Vampiro can only get back in it by cheating, then a baseball bat to the ribs isn’t enough for a DQ. There was no mention of Steiner’s title defense on Sunday because I’d be surprised they remember that he actually has a match on the pay per view. This wasn’t a bad squash until it got all zany with the fire stuff.
Tank Abbott vs. Goldberg
Tank chills on the floor for a bit until Goldberg catches him with a superkick….and it’s Rick Steiner coming in with a chair. Two shots and the big right hand from Tank get two and we’ve got Nash coming through the crowd (smart) for the save. Goldberg spears Abbott and hits the Jackhammer for the pin. This was exactly what I was expecting: a segment instead of a match, even though they could have done exactly the same thing in a two minute squash.
Kimberly yells about Hancock.
WCW World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett
Sting is challenging and again this is in the middle of the card. Jeff jumps him during the entrances but Sting comes right back with a hot shot. Jeff’s dropkick is blocked by a powerbomb and he has to kick away from a Deathlock. Sting takes a chair to the back and they brawl around ringside for a bit. A clothesline puts the champ back inside and we get the sunset flip with the referee kicking Jeff’s hands away spot. Back up and Sting grabs a rollup for the pin and the title out of nowhere, beating Jarrett in less than two and a half minutes.
Oh never mind as Bischoff comes out and says he changed his mind because that wasn’t a title match. Jeff tries a belt shot but Sting ducks and puts him in the Deathlock on the ramp as Hudson talks about a Dusty Finish. Sting clocks Jarrett with the guitar and goes after Bischoff. Spoiler for later: save for Jarrett being taken away in an ambulance, neither Sting nor Jarrett will be seen for the rest of the show. The World Champion just got pinned clean in less than three minutes in the middle of a show six days before he defends the title in the main event of a pay per view. By the way, here are the recent ratings for Raw and Nitro:
May 22 – Raw: 7.1, Nitro: 3.0
May 29 – Raw: 6.4, Nitro: 3.0
June 5 – Raw: 5.9, Nitro: 2.8
June 12 – Raw: 6.8, Nitro: 3.0
Yeah keep going with that burying your champion after changing the title 18 times in five months. Maybe if you work hard, Raw will only double your numbers.
Jeff is put in an ambulance.
Here are Awesome and Kimberly to deal with Hancock. Before Hancock comes out though, Awesome talks trash about Page and introduces the women. Kimberly is ready to go but Hancock insists that Kimberly sign a release for the beating she’s about to get. Kimberly signs it so Hancock flashes the Diamond Cutter sign. Cue Page, but Kimberly brings up the restraining order. CAN YOU PLEASE JUST GET TO A MATCH??? As I’m sure you can guess, Kimberly just signed away the restraining order and it’s time for a mixed tag.
Kimberly/Mike Awesome vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Miss Hancock
The girls start but Kimberly poses instead of doing anything. Hancock goes after her and Kimberly calls that pathetic. Now it’s time for Hancock to dance before she rips the M off the ME on Kimberly’s top. We’re still waiting on anything to actually happen. Kimberly tries to slap Page but he gets his hand up.
They catfight for a bit until Hancock slaps Awesome and runs over to Page for an actual wrestling match. Page speeds it up with a jumping clothesline and starts a brawl. That goes nowhere so Page tries a backslide, only to take a low blow to give Awesome control. Awesome sends Page flying with a nice German suplex but Page is right back up to send him into the buckle.
That’s enough wrestling (all minute and a half of it that we actually got) so they head outside with Awesome setting up a table. Back in and Awesome lands a frog splash as Hancock looks like she’d rather be anywhere else. Mike loads up the powerbomb over the top but Hancock pulls up her skirt for a distraction, allowing Page to grab a Diamond Cutter for the pin.
Rating: F. I know it’s hard to consider something a failure when it has Hancock and Kimberly in the same match but dear goodness this was a waste of time. This might have been fine on a house show but I’m supposed to believe that Awesome is this career killer and he’s in a glorified comedy mixed tag? Total waste of time.
Pamela tells us that Hulk isn’t fighting tonight.
Horace Hogan vs. Hulk Hogan
For some reason the cage is halfway down. Before the match, Bischoff says Jeff is going to be fine and tells Horace not to bother putting up a table because Hulk isn’t going to be here. So instead here’s Hollywood Hogan because this is different I guess. Hollywood asks for the cage to be completely lowered and it’s time for a Cell match because that’s what this match needed.
Hollywood starts in on the beating and it’s already weightlifting belt time. Horace bails to the floor where the beating continues but he kicks a chair into his uncle’s face to get a breather. Some chair shots hit the post though and Hollywood fights back, setting up the legdrop onto the chair onto Horace’s face for the pin.
Kidman comes in but gets beaten down as well.
Ric is ready for revenge. Yeah I’m sure.
Vince Russo vs. Ric Flair
Let’s get this over with because you know where this is going. Remember that this is in the Cell cage instead of a standard version, likely so we can have multiple interferences. Ric has Reid and Beth with him, meaning they’ll likely be kidnapped again. Russo looks terrified, albeit in a perfectly manly way. Vince grabs a headlock to start and shoulders Ric down. So he’s now on the list with names like Sting, Hogan and Luger.
Ric pops back up and goes for some chops but Russo kicks him low. Thankfully Flair is right back to his feet for some chops and a low blow of his own. This is probably more than Russo has sold since he’s been back. Ric suplexes him down and drops a knee because this is a wrestling match and not Russo’s total destruction because he’s the star of the show and therefore can’t take a beating like that. A few whips into the cage and chops have Russo in more trouble so here’s David Flair from under the ring to give Russo a chance.
So Ric beats up his son for a bit as Russo sets up a ladder in the ring for no apparent reason. He climbs up and pulls part of the roof down, likely so we can have more interference. Russo gets to the top of the cage but Ric follows him, only to get poked in the eye so Russo can get the better of it. Vince climbs back into the cage but Ric stomps his hands to make him fall. Since this is WCW, the camera misses the big crash.
Ric climbs down the ladder and puts Vince in the Figure Four, which Russo survives for OVER A MINUTE until the red liquid falls from the ceiling and knocks Ric and Charles Robinson out. David puts Ric in the Figure Four and Russo pops to his feet (not even a limp) and chokes Ric until Robinson counts the pin. Russo is polite enough to collapse after walking around the ring for a bit.
Rating: F. Think back for a minute to all the matches Flair has won with the Figure Four. He’s won titles, tournaments, showdowns, pay per view main events etc. with that hold and some of the biggest names of all time have passed out in the hold. You know who didn’t pass out or give up to it after nearly seventy seconds? Vince Russo. A writer, who still hasn’t lost a match in WCW and probably never will. Ric better have gotten a medal for putting Russo over like this because it
Nash and Steiner have a meeting before the main event.
The announcers chat for a bit. I always love seeing them at a makeshift table for some reason. It sums up WCW so well.
Kevin Nash vs. New Blood
Gauntlet match. Disco is out first in an Atlanta Falcons jersey, of course leading out Russo who is still not wearing a shirt. We get some Russo acting as he says Nash loses his shot if he gets pinned or if any of the Millionaires interfere. There are about ten guys on the ramp to come after Nash and Disco is in first, only to take a side slam for a quick pin after about nine seconds.
Candido and Johnny the Bull come in at the same time and Chris takes a Jackknife. Nash goes on to Johnny but the referee counts a pin on Candido, even though no one is touching him. Johnny gets the same treatment after a Jackknife, even though there was nothing stopping Nash from throwing a boot on him for a pin. Big Vito comes in and Nash Jackknifes him almost immediately for a “pin”. Even Nash seems confused as to why he doesn’t have to cover anyone and managed to get a boot on the chest at the three count.
Mysterio eats a big boot and Nash covers him with a boot for the pin. Normally I would make fun of Nash for embarrassing Mysterio like that but at least he’s trying to do this mess properly. Six guys come in for a big beatdown but here’s Goldberg to help Nash clean house. The match is thrown out somewhere at about two minutes and fifteen seconds. Yeah Nash beat (kind of at least) five guys in about a minute and WCW wonders why these guys weren’t taken seriously.
This brings out Bischoff to say that Goldberg is going to be suspended on Wednesday. Why he’s not suspended right now isn’t clear but Goldberg cuts him off to say if Bischoff suspends him, Bischoff is next to end the show.
Overall Rating: IWW. I was wrong. Dear goodness I was wrong about thinking it couldn’t get any worse than the things they had been doing. Between Russo staying in the Figure Four for over a minute and then not even limping ten seconds later to Bischoff winning a title to Nash and Goldberg running through the New Blood inside of five minutes to the World Champion losing in a nothing match that didn’t last three minutes, this show wasn’t just bad.
This show was running in the opposite direction and seemingly trying to either be as horrible and against what the fans wanted as possible. The pay per view was secondary to pushing the writers as the real stars of the show while so much of the night was about nothing. I have no idea what was supposed to make me want to get keep watching this show because the stories are totally uninteresting and far more confusing than they should be.
It’s really saying something when a show that aired over fifteen years ago makes me want to scream but this show pulled it off. WCW isn’t just about making Russo and Bischoff look good but now there’s almost nothing else on the show that I want to see. The World Title looks to be about on the same level as the WWF European Title (held by Eddie Guerrero at this point) right now and that’s not going to be enough to carry a promotion.
This company is about Russo and Bischoff vs. Nash, Goldberg and Hogan. Aside from being another version of the evil boss vs. the stars, the major problem here is none of the villains are treated like anything special, save for Russo and Bischoff. As I’ve said before, McMahon would take a beating and lose at times to make the winners look better. Russo still doesn’t get that though and it’s making for a horrible show, only to have the atrocious booking exacerbate everything. WCW can’t be saved by one tweak at this point, but at least it could hurt less. Unfortunately it’s probably going to get worse. It always does.
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Thunder – May 31, 2000: Now They’re Beating Children
Thunder Date: May 31, 2000
Location: Idaho Center, Boise, Idaho
Attendance: 5,438
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
This is the third straight TV show where we’re coming in with a new World Champion, which isn’t even counting the mid-show title change from this past Monday. Maybe tonight we can start slowing things down a bit for a change. If we’re lucky, we might even get in some more Vince Russo stories! Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the multiple World Title changes from Monday. That really shouldn’t be a thing.
Opening sequence.
The ramp is on the left hand side. I don’t remember the last time that’s happened in WCW.
Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido
Funk is defending and Candido comes in dressed like Terry for no apparent reason. Before the match, Candido praises Bischoff for giving him the chance to become champion. Well you have to get that praise in there or else he might start feeling bad. Funk comes out and chairs him in the head to start and they’re already in the back, drawing boos because A, the live fans are getting ripped off again and B, they don’t have a camera ready back there. Was it so hard to say “hey we’re going backstage early so have a camera ready.”? Or better yet, and more likely “hey, they’re going backstage early so have that pretape ready.”
Funk dumps trash over both of them before hitting Candido in the head with a chair again. Terry throws him on the back of a flatbed truck and drives it away (car thief). It’s back to the announcers because they have no idea what else to do now. A camera crew finally catches up to them and they’re near a stable. Well of course they are.
Candido has had time to recover and he sends Funk into a bail of hay, the water trough and then some manure. They go into a horse stall and Funk grabs a piledriver but they have to leave before the horse almost kicks Candido in the head. Tony calls that the high spot of the night. And now, because we’re in a Vince Russo booked company and nothing has to make sense, there’s a table next to the stall. Terry slams him through it….and hits the referee with a trashcan. Then Funk wakes him up and counts the pin to retain.
Rating: D. Ok, first and foremost, this is a big upgrade over a lot of the hardcore matches because it was something different. Instead of the usual “I hit you, you hit me, we do a finish” formula, they actually mixed this up a bit and went outside the walls a little bit. That being said, they still did a table spot at a stable. That felt so stupid and out of place that it crippled whatever they had going. Was there nothing else you could do, like piledrive Candido on….I don’t know……THE GROUND?
Russo puts Cat in charge for the night. I think I could live with this.
The Flair Family arrives. How Ric got them back isn’t made clear of course.
Kimberly arrives and gets the paparazzi treatment.
Here are the Flairs with something to say. After some WOOing, Ric talks about how it took Russo and a ball bat to get the title off of him this past Monday. This is the first time his family has been in the ring with him but there’s no David. Instead, David is in the back somewhere with Russo despite having the chance to be someone in this business. Not because of his abilities or anything, but because of his last name.
Ric is going to have his chance to give David the beating he deserves soon enough, but tonight he wants Russo in this ring for a match. Cue Russo, David and security with Vince in sunglasses because he didn’t want his New York friends to know he’s in Boise. Eh good line. He had to have one in all the time he jabbers. Russo talks about returning the champ (meaning Reid) and the witch to Ric. He has a cold tonight but he’s still here, unlike Flair who took a week off with a headache.
Ric swears a lot and calls David even worse than Russo. Vince ignores him and talks to Beth, bringing up the John Lennon song Imagine, because Beth needs to imagine what it’s going to be like when David retires Ric at the Great American Bash. Ric beats up security guards and asks if Russo wants a fight tonight. Russo offers a father/son vs. father/son match instead and Reid agrees. The guards hold the Flairs back and David gets in a cheap shot with the bat and Russo adds a slap because Russo is cool like that. WAY too long here to get to the point but they had to get in Russo’s funny lines.
Kimberly yells at Cat over not having her needs met tonight. Cat stares at her chest and eventually gives her Mike Awesome to manage tonight for some TV time. For some reason Awesome is excited when Kimberly asks if he’s good at massaging her feet.
Back from a break and Cat comes into his office, only to find Kidman in his chair. They argue over Horace because we’re still not clear if Horace and Kidman are friends or not. Cat makes Kidman vs. Horace vs. Sting tonight and Torrie doesn’t seem happy for some reason.
Here are Awesome and Kimberly with something to say. Awesome promises to hurt Page even worse than he hurt Kanyon and that means being worse than a broken back. Kimberly suggests that the people applaud her and get annoyed when it’s not loud enough. She runs her mouth even more until a plant runs in and gets beaten up. Was there a point to any of this and I’m just missing it?
Cat gives Shane Douglas a World Title match as a thank you for all of his hard work lately. Ok, the title change streak has to end here right? I know the company is crazy but they’re not going to put it on Shane freaking Douglas.
Horace Hogan vs. Sting vs. Kidman
Wait is this a handicap or a three way? I know Cat said it was a three way but it’s never clear if the people making the matches know what they’re talking about. Sting charges down the ring and dives over the top to take out both guys. They head outside with Sting getting double teamed, allowing Kidman to do the Hogan hand to the ear. There’s a legdrop for two as Horace seemed fine with potentially losing the match.
Sting fights up and sends Horace to the floor but can’t get the Deathlock. Horace adds a Death Valley Driver but Kidman is smart enough to break it up at two. It’s table time but Horace hits Kidman by mistake. Sting comes back with Splashes and throws Kidman through the table, followed by a long run down the ramp to drive them both through the table again. Kidman is out so the Scorpion makes quick work of him to give Sting the win.
Rating: D. This was one of the more coherent matches I’ve seen from WCW in a long time and it was still a mess. Kidman vs. Horace is such a lame feud and I’m still not clear why they’re fighting. I mean, I know it’s because Torrie went with Horace that time, but has that ever been explained or addressed since? Not that it matters as Sting and the other Millionaires keep beating both guys and making them look like even bigger losers than they already are.
Kidman and Horace argue until Mike Awesome comes down to break it up.
Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner are ready for Nash and Scott tonight. Abbott hypes up his showdown with Goldberg on Monday. That’s the translated version at least as neither can talk to save their life.
Jarrett doesn’t like having to defend against Shane tonight and rants to Russo about it. Russo says don’t worry about it.
Ralphus and Norman still can’t find a job after their lawn mowing and babysitting endeavors have both failed. However, they see a sign for a backyard wrestling federation and the lightbulbs go off again.
WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Shane Douglas
Jarrett is defending but it’s not clear which title, as his graphic says he’s the US Champion. Even technology can’t keep up with Russo’s booking. Tenay and Schiavone talk about how they don’t recommend backyard wrestling. Heenan is more worried that Ralphus is loose in a neighborhood. Jeff cuts Shane off from talking and I’m suddenly a bigger fan. Shane stomps away in the corner and catches him in an atomic drop for no cover.
Cue the Cat to applaud Shane but Jeff steals his scarf and chokes Shane out. A powerslam and backslide get two each for Shane but the referee and Cat get in a fight. Shane hits the Pittsburgh Plunge but Cat throws a chair at the referee. With the ref down, Cat kicks the chair into Shane’s face, setting up the Stroke to retain the title. So Cat just fixed a problem he caused in the first place. You know what? I’ll take it. It makes more sense than most stuff they do around here.
Page sits down with Tenay and talks about his history with Bischoff, but he doesn’t know how they split so far apart. He never saw this coming with Kimberly but not the person she’s become now. After talking about his book a bit (didn’t that come out like a year or more ago?), Page promises revenge against Awesome. Tenay suggests that maybe Page has caused all these problems and Page leaves. Well to be fair Hogan caused most of his own problems and is supposed to be worshiped in WCW so why can’t Page get the same treatment?
Cat gives Stasiak and Palumbo a Tag Team Title shot tonight and just for fun, the titles can change hands on a DQ. Shane runs in to yell at Cat, who says the devil made him do it.
Nash and Scott are on exercise bikes as the Freaks watch.
Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo
Kronik is defending and remember that the titles can change hands on a DQ. Adams and Stasiak start as Heenan talks about being on the radio where everyone was talking about Goldberg. I know it’s stupid and I know no one buys it, but points to Heenan for trying to make WCW sound important. We’ve spent months hearing WCW announcers rip on the company and basically treat the fans like idiots, but at least Heenan is trying to do SOMETHING positive.
Stasiak gets beaten down and it’s off to Clark vs. Palumbo. Tony calls him Palumbi as Chuck kicks Clark in the chest for two. As the announcers talk about Columbo (as in the cop show from the 70s), Clark’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker winds up being a tilt-a-whirl back of the head breaker which thankfully didn’t break Chuck’s neck. Palumbo clotheslines Adams and brings in Stasiak who mostly misses a jumping back elbow. The not hot tag brings in Adams to clean house and there’s High Times to Stasiak but Adams hits Palumbo with the exercise bar like an idiot and we have new champions.
Rating: F. Other than Heenan, this was one of the worst matches I’ve seen WCW have in at least a week. For once though it’s more because of the blown spots and poor execution rather than the terrible booking. This was one of the only realistic ways to get the belts off Kronik and I like that they’re giving it to a new team….but Stasiak is still really boring and I don’t see that getting any better.
Kronik chokeslams the referee to blow off some steam.
This Week in WCW Motorsports. I think this is one of those things WCW has forgotten they’re paying for and it just keeps going because no one watches Thunder.
Back to the backyard wrestling where Norman is mistake for Booker T. Norman asks the champion champion (probably 14 years old) if he knows anything about amateur wrestling. That would be no of course so Norman offers to share some of his amateur background. After some basic technique, Norman demonstrates a three quarter nelson….and demands that Ralphus count a pin, making Norman the new champion. Norman and Ralphus run off with the title as the kids chase after them. These two continue to be hilarious and continue to go nowhere. Well other than up the street with the paper belt of course.
We get another sitdown interview with Eric Bischoff over whatever made he and Russo miss Thunder two weeks ago. Bischoff talks about making news and says we’ll find out at Great American Bash and McMahon can’t stop it. I’d love to see McMahon watching this show and chuckling while his pay per view for this month had Rock vs. HHH for an hour with Undertaker making his return with a new gimmick, Jericho vs. Benoit in a submission match and a triple threat with the other Radicalz. You have all that but WCW has another GAME CHANGING idea.
Vince Russo/David Flair vs. Reid Flair/Ric Flair
This is going to be ugly. Ric and David start (thank goodness) with the dad chopping away in the corner. He rips David’s shirt off for more chops (what a horrible father. I know Russo has ruined this company but I almost want to cheer for him over Ric.) but stops to yell at Russo. Since we’re in the middle of a match and Ric is a horrible father, he offers to let Reid have a three minute match with Russo. If Reid can’t pin him, Ric will leave the business.
The freakshow continues as Reid takes Russo down. There goes Russo’s jacket as Reid takes him down two more times in a row. After about two minutes, Ric comes in and beats on Russo, only to have David come in with more chops and a suplex. Ric and David fight to the floor, allowing Russo to smash a Statue of Liberty over Ric’s face. Back inside and some quick double teaming sets up the Figure Four on Reid, allowing Russo to cover him for the pin.
Rating: F. For the second time tonight, a grown man has pinned an adolescent. Not only is Russo coming up with nonsensical ideas but he’s repeating them in the same hour. For some reason though, I’m liking this better than having women being stupid and getting kidnapped over and over.
Ric wants Russo in a cage on Monday and threatens to call Ted Turner to get the match made.
Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner/Tank Abbott
The Cat is out for commentary as the good guys clean house to start. Scott suplexes Tank to the floor but that’s too much time without an announcement: whoever gets the fall here is #1 contender to the World Title. Rick kicks his brother low for two but we cut to the back to Jarrett, who says there’s going to be a DQ here. So this match has DQ’s as well? Rick’s cobra clutch is as lame as you would expect a Rick Steiner cobra clutch to be but his belly to belly is a little bit better.
Tank comes in for some punches (yes punches) before Rick comes back in to continue that cobra clutch. Scott finally grabs a side slam for two and makes the tag off to Nash for some house cleaning. A big boot gets two on Tank but Rick hits him low, setting up the third cobra clutch in five minutes. Cue Jarrett with the guitar to break up the Recliner on Rick but Cat makes it No DQ. A belt shot only gets two on Nash (of course) and he kicks a chair into Rick’s face, setting up the Jackknife for the pin and the title shot.
Rating: D-. Another horrible match and another way for Nash to look like a world beater, even though I have no reason to believe he’ll hold the title if he wins it at the pay per view. Also, Nash vs. Jarrett is really the best idea they can go with? As much as I hate to admit it, yeah it probably is.
Overall Rating: D-. Somehow that’s one of the better shows they’ve had in a long time. They toned down some of the insanity in the first hour, but after Ralphus and Norman invaded a backyard wrestling federation (that was awesome), Vince Russo got to pin a twelve year old and treated it like a major win. The Great American Bash now has a BIG SURPRISE planned, thereby guaranteeing that it’s going to be underwhelming. Anyway, as usual here, the more Russo a show has, the worse it gets.
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Thunder – May 24, 2000: What Does A Yellow Light Mean?
Thunder Date: May 27, 2000
Location: Wendler Arena, Saginaw, Michigan
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan
So Jarrett is World Champion again after losing the title for a full week. The biggest change seems to be Nash moving in to the World Title scene, which is one of the least interesting things they could do, which is why we’re likely to see it happen. This company has to hit a wall soon enough but I don’t want to imagine what has to happen to reach that point. Let’s get to it.
Recap of Nitro’s latest title change.
Steiner and Nash arrive.
Opening sequence.
Cruiserweight Title: Daffney vs. Chris Candido vs. The Artist
Daffney is defending, likely because she’s associated with Russo on screen and that makes her important. Before the match, Candido talks about how great it is to be part of the first couple of sports entertainment. Tammy gets to strip a bit as this is already getting boring. Again before the match, let’s get some words from the champ. She’s in a black wedding dress because she wanted David to propose to her but she’ll take the ring in the arena instead.
We finally start the match with Daffney getting away from the guys, setting up a three way champion/managers showdown. Cue Miss Hancock as Candido powerslams Artist for two. A Samoan drop puts Candido down and Daffney gets a near fall on each. Cue Crowbar to fight Artist, which is rather stupid as it leaves Daffney alone against Candido. As this is going on, Tammy pays Hancock for her clipboard but hits Candido by mistake, giving Daffney the pin, because Tammy swinging a half inch thick clipboard is enough to knock a professional wrestler unconscious after he’s been wrestling for two minutes.
Russo whines to Bischoff about all of his problems. Does he do anything besides book bad wrestling shows and complain about how much his life sucks?
Norman Smiley are trying to sell shirts when Shane Douglas comes up to give them a Hardcore Title shot. Why did he do that? Because the show’s script said he should.
Kimberly tells Elizabeth to put lotion on her back. You can add “puts his female talent in life versions of his erotica” to the list of things Russo does.
Hardcore Title: Shane Douglas vs. Norman Smiley/Ralphus
So Shane is officially Hardcore Champion after the New Blood beat Terry Funk down in a non match on Monday. We’re ready to go after Shane rips on Flair because he thinks people outside of Philadelphia actually care about that feud. Ralphus is in a gorilla suit (and I’m SURE it’s him and not someone else in a wacky surprise) which he wasn’t wearing and didn’t seem to have five minutes ago.
Naturally there’s something else to get to before another comedy title match as Bischoff says Douglas can’t give these two a title shot. Douglas takes Norman’s trashcan away and hammers on him to start. Ralphus’ cookie sheet shot has no effect so Shane beats on Norman with a trashcan lid, sending Ralphus out to the floor. Norman comes back with the spinning slam but the spanking dance is broken up by a low blow.
A neckbreaker and suplex get two on Smiley but Ralphus hits Douglas with a trashcan lid for no effect. Ralphus runs again but stops to pick at himself. Back in the ring and Norman collapses as Ralphus comes back. Some trashcan lid shots get two on Douglas and it’s table time. The chain to Norman’s head sets up a slam through the table but Ralphus grabs the chain and knocks Douglas out with a left hand for the pin and the title.
Rating: F. So to recap, Funk brought a gorilla suit (yes of course that’s where it’s going) on the off change that Douglas would get all cocky and offer Norman and Ralphus a title shot. We’ll of course ignore Funk not attacking Douglas in the multiple chances he had during the match but then again this isn’t the most complicated plan in the world.
Of course it’s Funk in the gorilla suit, meaning he’s the new champion.
Bischoff tells Cat to “Jackie Chan” Funk. At least go with Bruce Lee man.
Russo is talking to some old woman.
Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner are wearing goggles. Why? Not explained, but it makes for a funny random visual I guess.
After a recap of Russo vs. Flair, here are Russo, David, Daffney and the woman Russo was talking to. Russo says it’s time for another expose tonight, starring Reid’s sixth grade teacher Mrs. Snodgrass, who is every stereotypical old teacher you’ve ever seen. Apparently Reid was a hellion (her word) who would make rude noises. After more stories of Reid being a normal twelve year old, David grabs the mic and says he wants to fight Reid at the Great American Bash. For the love of all things good and holy, PLEASE let that match happen. It could be glorious.
That’s enough of the Flair story though as Nash comes out to advance another Russo story. He wants to kill Russo but so does this man: Scott Steiner. Nash and Steiner destroy security to get at Russo, who tells them to hit Snodgrass. This goes as well as you would expect so Nash and Steiner choke Russo down and demand a World Title match tonight. Russo makes a three way dance.
Jarrett yells at Russo, who can barely talk (HALLELUJAH).
Bischoff tells Douglas to deal with Funk tonight.
Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action
Elimination match because there’s no place for something like this on pay per view. Everyone brawls to start and Hammer (Stash. I’m not going to remember to change them to their new names most of the time so we’ll stick with the more familiar ones) throws Juvy at Konnan in a nice power display. All four Misfits splash Disco in the corner and he staggers over to Major Gunns for a kick low.
We settle down to Juvy vs. Chavo with Guerrera snapping off some chops. Guerrero is sent to the ramp but dives back in to take Juvy down and tag in Lash. Rey comes in for some rope running, followed by a side slam from Leroux. The dancing punches are good for two and it’s off to Juvy, only to have Disco sneak in and help on a double powerbomb to eliminate Lash. It’s Hammer coming in to throw Disco around with a spinebuster getting two.
Juvy tries to come in off the top but gets slammed down, setting up a horrible cobra clutch slam (you would think Juvy could jump better than that) for a one count. This brings Disco in with a kendo stick to clean house, allowing Rey to come in off the top with a seated senton to eliminate Hammer. Disco comes in and takes Chavo down with a swinging neckbreaker, only to have Chavo pop up and hook the tornado DDT for the elimination.
It’s off to Juvy whose headscissors is countered into a reverse powerbomb (always liked that move) for two. Rection’s moonsault is enough to pin Juvy and we’re down to Rection/Chavo vs. Konnan (hasn’t been in yet)/Mysterio. Cue Shawn Stasiak for no apparent reason but Booker debuts his fatigues look to clean house. A spinebuster plants Rey and the Misfits win just because.
Rating: C-. This could have been better but a WCW match getting nine minutes and only having two people interfere is a rare treat these days. I still don’t know why this wasn’t on pay per view but I’d assume it was so they could have three other matches in its place. It’s also nice to see that Russo has gotten in his standard stable wars within a bigger stable war, even though no one is really getting a rub out of this.
Bischoff tries to break up an argument between Kidman, Horace and Torrie.
Elizabeth shoves Kimberly and runs away. Don’t worry. She’ll be kidnapped again by the end of the show.
Russo is talking to Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott.
Shane can’t find Funk.
The Wall vs. Chuck Palumbo
Tables match. Wall suplexes him to start and lifts him up in the corner for some choking. Palumbo escapes an attempt at a slam through a table and elbows out of a chokeslam. The exercise bar knocks Wall off the apron and through the table. This was NOTHING. Like even by WCW standards, this was a waste of time.
Wall chases Palumbo to the back because a metal rod to the face through the table isn’t worth selling.
Kimberly is ordered to find Elizabeth. Why is Elizabeth such an important character on this show? She doesn’t wrestle, she barely talks, she hasn’t meant anything important in years at this point, yet she’s getting more air time than a lot of the champions in this company. Elizabeth is cool but you would think she was one of the stars of the show at this point.
Here are Bischoff (doing his airplane bit), Torrie, Kidman and Horace for a chat. Bischoff gets to the point and says that the music dies at the Great American Bash. Hogan’s music that is. Horace blames Hulk for ruining his career and it’s open challenge time.
Horace Hogan/Kidman vs. Kronik
Non-title and Bischoff is doing commentary because what else is he going to do? Clark chops away at Kidman to start and kicks him in the face. As Bischoff rambles about Hulk, Kidman comes back with a dropkick, only to get choked up against the ropes. Kidman comes out of the corner with a Bodog and it’s off to Adams for some more power. A sleeper is easily countered as Adams flips Kidman onto the mat, only to have Kidman come back with a hurricanrana.
Horace flips Kidman off when he comes for a tag so Bischoff gets up, only to be shoved back down. Horace gets a chair as Kronik gives Kidman High Times. Clark loads up Kidman for a chair but Horace turns (?) on him to lay Kronik out with a chair, giving Kidman the pin. The announcers have no idea if this was a title match or not.
Rating: D. Another bad match but Kronik is still a fun enough act. Kidman and Horace’s issues aren’t interesting together but most of that is due to Horace being as generic of a big man as I can remember in a very long time. I like the idea of pushing someone new, but there comes a point where it’s not going to happen. Put someone else in there and let it be over already.
Shane yells at Norman and Ralphus about letting Funk take Ralphus’ place. Norman says Funk paid double what Shane did but he’s already left the building. Shane punches Smiley and takes Ralphus to help him find Funk. So Norman and Ralphus, two guys with no money, wouldn’t accept a title shot without being paid for it? That’s how worthless the title is?
Shane brings Ralphus to the ring and beats him down until Wall, who is facing Shane at the Great American Bash in a tables match, comes out for a brawl. As Norman tends to Ralphus, Shane dives off the apron and gets chokeslammed through the announcers’ table.
Booker T. is with the Misfits and says he’s now to be known as G.I. Bro. I’m assuming this would be the idea that Booker was talking about on Monday when he said “tune in next week”. So now they can’t even wait a week for the GENIUS idea of G.I. Bro, which Booker had used years earlier.
Kimberly has security looking for Elizabeth.
G.I. Bro vs. Shawn Stasiak
Stasiak stomps the new guy down in the corner to start and chokes him on the ropes. They head outside with Bro hitting an ax handle off the apron, followed by a some right hands back inside, only to have Stasiak hot shot him. Back to the floor as Stasiak continues to search for anything resembling a good offense. Bro is sent into various objects before they head back inside and exchange clotheslines for two each. A powerbomb gets the same for Stasiak but he tries to bring in a chair, allowing Bro to hit his series of kicks, followed by the Book End for the pin.
Rating: D+. So it’s just Booker T. in fatigues. I’ve heard worse ideas, like having Stasiak get in this much offense when you’re trying to get over a new character or having Terry Funk win the Hardcore Title back two days after he kind of lost it or having Vince Russo as the centerpiece of your show.
Post match Stasiak hits him with a chair and beats Booker down, likely setting up a rematch at the pay per view. Or tonight in case Russo can’t wait to blow that hot feud off as well.
Mike Tenay is with Sting, who doesn’t think anything of Vampiro. Ten years ago he was just like Vampiro (no he wasn’t) but now that he’s grown up, he still has the fire in his eyes. Tenay asks about the inferno match and Sting calls the idea stupid. He’ll take the challenge though because that’s what he does. The lights go out and come back on to reveal the set on fire. You really didn’t need to turn the lights back on for that guys.
Kimberly is in the back for a talk but Elizabeth attacks her from behind and drags her away. This can’t end well.
Here’s Diamond Dallas Page with some biting commentary: Bischoff sucks. Well that’s one way of putting it. He talks about working hard to get where he is today and how Bischoff has turned his wife against him and Awesome injuring Kanyon (he’s way too calm about that). He keeps going on about all the things Bischoff has done to him when Liz brings Kimberly out by the hair.
Oh yeah this is going exactly where you expect it to: Page spanks Kimberly, giving Russo more fuel for his personal pleasure later on. As this is going on, Palumbo kidnaps Liz and I roll my eyes. That has to be the sixth or seventh time it’s happened and we’re still supposed to care? Anyway Mike Awesome pops up on screen in Kanyon’s hospital room, looking rather menacing. Oh well enough of that because we need to see people walking to the ring.
WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner
Jarrett is defending and has Russo with him for commentary of course. As Steiner comes out, we’re told that Palumbo kidnapped Elizabeth AGAIN, meaning Russo has her again. I’m so sick of this story. Despite Russo’s voice being sore from the choke, he has to talk even more, this time making himself guest referee for the match so it will be an even playing field. They’re going to change the title on some wacky occurrence aren’t they?
Nash immediately chases Russo into the crowd (how manly of Russo to run with a sore throat), leaving Steiner to beat Jarrett up. The champ is tied into the Tree of Woe and Nash comes back to choke him. Russo and his security are on the ramp so Steiner goes after them as well. Russo’s bat is taken away from him but Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott show up on the stage with Scott’s freaks.
Scott goes after them, leaving Russo to go after Nash who promptly hits him in the face. Jarrett hits Nash in the back with a bat to break up the Jackknife to the boss. Back up and Nash hits the referee (Billy Silverman, who has been refereeing the match despite what Russo said) by mistake. Jeff misses a belt shot so Nash hits him in the face with the title. Russo pulls the referee out of the ring at two and hits him with a guitar.
Jeff blasts Nash with a chair and Russo counts two but since we haven’t had something going on for all of six seconds, here’s Steiner to run through Russo’s security, clearing a path for referee Mickie Jay. Steiner chases Russo off and Nash powerbombs Jarrett for the pin and the title.
Rating: F. To quote Gorilla Monsoon: “WILL YOU STOP???” Look at all the insanity in this match and then consider that it didn’t even run five minutes. Normally I would talk about how you should just have a three way if you want to have a three way, but such common sense is lost on someone like Russo. Horrible “match” of course because they couldn’t go fifteen seconds without something else happening.
The announcers treat this like the biggest title change in years. I could buy that if this wasn’t the sixteenth title change since the beginning of the year. That’s sixteen title changes (including vacancies) in less than five months. Let’s put this in some perspective.
Counting backwards from today (October 17, 2015), you would have to go back to Summerslam 2011 to see the WWE Championship change hands sixteen times.
Starting with the inception of the title (February 1991), the WCW World Title didn’t change hands sixteen times until November 1995.
Finally, starting at Barely Legal 1997, the ECW World Title changed hands exactly sixteen times until their final pay per view in January 2001.
So we have four years, four and a half years, just under four years, or less than five months in WCW 2000.
Overall Rating: D-. It’s the same old troubles as always as Russo can’t stop putting everything he can think of into one show. You had two title changes tonight plus the Tag Team Champions losing a match and maybe the titles (this would be the second time in a month where it’s not clear if we have new champions or not).
There’s so much stuff going on here that I’m desensitized to everything they’re doing. How can I feel the impact of Nash winning the title if I’m still reacting to Flair winning it just nine days earlier? There’s so much going on and no time to take it in, but Russo keeps making things faster and faster. The pay per view still doesn’t have an announced main event and the show is in eleven days. We’re in the dark days of Russo here as he has full control and is showing why that’s a horrible idea. I don’t want to imagine where it’s going to go from here.
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Monday Nitro #241 Date: May 22, 2000
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 6,530
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden
So Flair is World Champion but the forces of bad health don’t want us to have some sanity in WCW and Flair collapsed to end last week’s Thunder. This was a legitimate inner ear issue that screwed him up and not like that time where they had Ric Flair have a heart attack that wasn’t referenced again outside of a one off moment. Odds are this is going to change the title status so let’s get to it.
It probably won’t matter but this show aired an hour earlier due to the NBA Playoffs.
We open with a recap of the New Blood falling apart. Remember: as soon as Bischoff and Russo were gone for a single night, the whole team started falling apart. They need that strong and MANLY influence of Vince Russo to keep them in line.
Russo, Jeff Jarrett, David Flair and Liz arrive behind a hearse. They’re all in black and it’s time for the funeral of Ric Flair’s career. Russo has the World Title for reasons that aren’t clear.
Booker T. vs. The Cat
Weapons match. The announcers explain that it’s just martial arts weapons so Cat brings in a chair. Some martial arts sticks to the back put Booker down and Mark Madden says Cat is Eric Bischoff’s son Garrett’s martial arts instructor. Cat dances a bit and keeps hitting Booker with the sticks as this is already boring. Booker starts his comeback but Cat hits him in the head with one of the sticks.
Some kendo stick shots have Booker in even more trouble as this just keeps going. A quick Book End gives Booker a breather and he hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Shawn Stasiak to help Cat with the beatdown (I guess his fists count as weapons?) and Cat cartwheel kicks the chair into Booker’s face for the pin.
Rating: D-. Was there a point here that I was missing? This was a big waste of time as Cat still doesn’t have much of a personality yet. Also I love that their idea of pushing Booker is to have him lose matches because that’s going to get him over so quickly. Bad match because it was barely a match, though some of Cat’s stick shots looked good.
The Misfits come out for the save. Major Gunns loads up CPR for Booker but here are Bischoff and Kimberly to interrupt. The fans chant some swearing at Bischoff and it keeps getting censored, making it sound like Bischoff’s mic keeps cutting out. Bischoff talks about some business deal in California that is going to change the face of the New Blood. Eric offers the Misfits a spot in the New Blood but they tell them what he can kiss. In case he doesn’t get the idea, Major Gunns lowers her shorts for a visual.
The Millionaire’s Club, minus Nash, arrives. Hogan: “Nash is late again.” Sting: “That’s his gimmick. That’s his giz-immick.”
Post break, Bischoff fires Booker but can’t fire the Misfits for reasons that aren’t clear.
Russo and company are around Ric’s casket, which contains his robe and a huge nose. Everyone is all sad over this and I’m more sad that this idea was later used by TNA for Team 3D in one of their funniest segments ever. Why am I not watching that instead?
Madden cries as Terry Taylor arrives with Ric Flair’s son Reid.
Terry Funk held a press conference earlier today and might be retiring later tonight.
Here’s Daffney to say that Crowbar knows she’s the real Cruiserweight Champion so come out here right now to talk about this like reasonable adults.
Cruiserweight Title: Daffney vs. Crowbar
They’re co-champions coming in as part of another story that hasn’t had a chance to go anywhere and is being blown off a week after it started. They thumb wrestle to start before Crowbar gives her an Indian burn. Cue Miss Hancock as Crowbar won’t hurricanrana Daffney off the top. She’ll give him one though, causing Crowbar to give her a slingshot splash. Crowbar immediately apologizes but here are Chris Candido and Tammy to attack him. Candido dropkicks a chair into Crowbar’s face and piledrives him onto the chair, giving Daffney (called Daffney Unger by Tony) the pin and the undisputed title.
Rating: D. What was wrong with Candido holding the title? He’s 28 here, a veteran and talented. Therefore, it’s time to put the belt on ANOTHER comedy act because that’s what Russo thinks is best for it. The cruiserweights were such an important part of WCW’s heyday so obviously the solution is to turn them into a joke right? Oh and male vs. female. That should be a drinking game: take a shot anytime a woman is attacked by a man. You’ll have a good buzz every week and it might even make the show go faster.
The Kid Cam is back and we see Torrie Wilson on Horace’s back giving him a massage.
Booker tells the Misfits to stay tuned next week.
Ralphus and Norman are washing cars for $1 apiece.
Kidman yells at Bischoff and company about Horace. Eric: “You’re the one that wanted to hang on to the hot looking blonde.” They come up to Torrie and make her referee. Eric beats up a referee and takes his shirt to give to Torrie. Kidman and Horace start brawling and I guess this is their match.
Kidman vs. Horace Hogan
Torrie is guest refereeing and wearing a referee’s shirt that looks like a short dress on her. They come out to ringside and of course Bischoff jumps in on commentary, calling this internal politics. Kidman takes over inside and the camera keeps cutting to Bischoff, the real star of the match. Hogan comes back with a big boot and grabs a table. Cue Hulk as Kidman counters a powerbomb. Horace is placed on the table so Hogan throws Kidman off the top and through his nephew. Torrie is forced to count the pin.
Rating: D. I’m sick of this story and it’s getting worse every single week. I’ll give them credit for trying to do something with Kidman and Horace but the two of them are being treated like big pawns (ok maybe bishops) in the Hogan vs. Bischoff feud. As usual, the story is so convoluted and messy that I have no idea what the point is even supposed to be.
Hulk says Bischoff used to be a cool guy but now he’s heard Bischoff is going to have a special referee at the pay per view. He doesn’t care who it is because he’ll beat them up anyway. Oh and Eric is something censored. Is there a reason Hulk won’t say the pay per view’s name?
Jarrett and Russo make jokes around the casket.
Taylor asks Reid if he’s ok with everything.
The Filthy Animals arrive in a bouncing car and the Misfits take notice.
Here’s Terry Funk in a tuxedo for a major announcement. His daughter (who he calls Old Blue) is here in the front row. Funk’s family thinks this announcement is way overdue but Bischoff tells someone to go to the ring. He’s told his aunt Eleanor and uncle Dutch (Madden: “DUTCH???” Tony: “Yes, Dutch Funk.”) to watch tonight but here are Shane Douglas and some New Blood lackeys to interrupt. The announcement: Terry is a grandfather! Oh and he’s retiring June 1.
Make that June 1, 2001 because his contract was extended for another year. This brings the New Blood members to the ring and Terry is quickly beaten down. Two piledrivers onto the chair knocks him out and Funk’s daughter tries to come in, only to get shoved down. Shane covers him and Cat counts the pin (with Funk not even keeping his shoulder down after that kind of a beating). Douglas takes the title and knowing WCW, that counts as a title change.
The Misfits come out to help Ralphus and Norman was the Animals’ car. Gunns distracts Ralphus and Stash changes the buckets.
Clip of the Kanyon interview from Thunder.
Here’s Mike Awesome in a wheelchair and with a halo around his head and neck. He mocks Kanyon for being out of wrestling and says he wants Page to come out here for some reason. Instead he gets the Wall and it’s time for a tables vs. ambulance match. Tables vs. amb…..WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? It sounds like Russo was watching Frankenstein vs. the Wolfman one night and camp up with this match while he was falling asleep. Let’s get this over with.
The Wall vs. Mike Awesome
Wall kicks him in the face to start and scores with a powerslam. Not that it matters as Mike backdrops him through a table and wins it in less than 90 seconds. So it was a tables match. In Russo’s world, tables + ambulances = tables. Therefore, ambulances are in fact worthless.
Wall pops up and goes after Awesome but Shane Douglas runs out with a steel pipe. They fight into the back and Page pops out of an ambulance (because he was just in there) and everyone brawls.
We cut to the casket bring brought to the ring…..with Shane and Awesome in different clothes walking alongside it. This doesn’t even surprise me anymore.
Norman and Ralphus pour on whatever is in the new bucket. It looks like paint or paint remover.
It’s time for the Ric Flair funeral. We see a clip of Ric collapsing on Thunder and Russo goes on about how he told Ric to retire. The fans think he suck but Russo says he has the belt, which he returns to Jeff Jarrett for his third World Title in thirty six days. Russo pulls out Flair’s Rolex to throw in the casket and you know exactly what’s about to happen. Naturally Kevin Nash pops out of the casket because we haven’t seen him in a long time. He takes the title just in case you hadn’t forgotten those horrible days.
Post break Russo tells Nash that he has 45 minutes to give the title back or it’s a no holds barred match. The champ was in the background here and, again, this was all about Russo.
Here’s Scott Steiner with the Freaks dressed as University of Michigan cheerleaders. Steiner talks about the dark side of the moon rising and something that is bleeped out. As for the point tonight, Scott is now bringing his own circular cage called the Asylum and you can only get out by submitting.
Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner
Non-title because the US Title hasn’t meant anything in months. They start fighting as the cage is slowly lowered, making the gimmick even less important. Scott belly to bellies him down and puts on the Recliner but Scott falls for the Tank Abbott Goldberg entrance all over again. He lets go of the hold (after three minutes according to Madden) as Tank comes out with bolt cutters. Those don’t work so he beats up the guy that controls the cage and raises it up to help Rick beat Scott down. This brings out Nash (again) to help save Scott.
Pamela Paulshock, the new fake chest with a pretty blonde interviewer attached, asks Nash about what he just did. Nash wants a title shot tonight.
Chuck Palumbo vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Liz is here with Palumbo along with the security. Page gets a quick two off a belly to belly, followed by a Batista Bomb for the same. Elizabeth slams Palumbo into a rollup for two before a double clothesline puts both guys down for an eight count. Cue Kimberly to hit Liz in the back with a ball bat so the referee leaves the ring, allowing Awesome to come in with the halo. Page looks at Awesome and stands there so Mike can hit him in the face. Palumbo racks Page for the win.
Luger comes out and takes a beating of his own. Palumbo hits him in the face with the exercise bar and Luger has to go out on a stretcher.
Kimberly blames Liz for what just happened to her. I’m having a lot of trouble feeling sorry for Liz when she hasn’t taken one of her 948 chances to escape.
Here are Terry Taylor and 12 year old Reid Flair, the latter of whom wants his brother David to come out. David and Daffney come out and Reid apologizes for whatever he’s done because the family needs David. Daffney hits Terry with the Statue of Liberty but Reid, an amateur wrestling champion, double legs David down. David pops back up and puts him in the Figure Four until security breaks it up.
Vampiro vs. Hulk Hogan
Remember when this was a thing a few months ago? Well this time Vampiro comes out with a blowtorch and a can of gasoline. Vampiro jumps him to start and knocks Hogan out to the floor. A superkick knocks Hogan up against the barricade but he comes right back with punches to the face.
Hogan chairs him in the back and beats up the table for a bit before it’s weightlifting belt time. Madden runs down WWF’s finishes as Hogan slams Vampiro down. Madden: “I’m orgasmic!” Hogan kicks him low and drops the leg but opts to punch instead of cover. This brings in Kidman to hit Hogan in the head with the blowtorch to give Vampiro the pin.
Rating: F. Weapons, run-ins, Mark Madden’s orgasms. Pick a reason why this was bad and go from there.
Sting saves Hogan from being set on fire (little reaction) and lays Vampiro out.
It was in fact paint remover, triggering another brawl between the Misfits and the Animals. Major Gunns has to reluctantly give Ralphus mouth to mouth. Naturally she winds up getting tongue, which Tony finds hilarious.
WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash
It’s not clear if Jarrett is defending or if the title is vacant coming in. Before the bell rings, cue Russo to knock out the referee and take over his job. That’s very manly of him. Jeff hammers away to start but walks into Snake Eyes. Tony casually throws in that this is falls count anywhere. Russo’s slow count is good for one and Jeff pops up for a chair to Nash’s head. Nash no sells it of course and follows Jeff to the floor.
Another Snake Eyes on the apron is good for one as Russo crotch chops Kevin instead. A belt shot barely puts Nash down and Russo maces him to break up the Jackknife. There’s a bad looking Stroke but cue Steiner to beat Jeff down. That earns Steiner mace as well, allowing security to handcuff him to the ropes.
Nash starts choking Russo as he covers Jeff but it’s only good for two. They head outside with Nash loading up a powerbomb on Russo, only to have the blood fall……next to them. Nash is nice enough to take a step to the side so it at least touches him, allowing Jarrett to guitar him down and get the pin for the title. Or maybe to keep it as it’s not really clear.
Rating: D-. The fact that WCW still doesn’t seem to know whether or not that’s a new champion or a title defense sums up the show quite well. As usual it was way too much at once and the whole thing came off as a big mess that was thrown together instead of anything that I might want to watch.
Bischoff comes out to say that’s just the beginning for Nash. The people can bite them. Jeff declares himself the Chosen One again to end the show. That’s a cry for attention if I’ve ever heard one.
Overall Rating: F. This show was such a disaster that I don’t even know where to start. There were way too many gimmick matches (many of which ranged from stupid to nonsensical), plot devices flying by in minutes instead of over a week, ridiculous editing errors such and WAY too much Russo. That continues to be the biggest problem: Russo is all over this show and everything is about him. There’s almost nothing good about this show and it’s the same problems over and over again. WCW is beyond one saving grace at this point and it’s creating more problems for itself every single week.
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Monday Nitro #240 Date: May 15, 2000
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Attendance: 8,550
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson
The shows had been picking up for a bit until this past Thunder was another disaster with everything being all screwy and focused on Russo. It’s not clear what we’re getting for a main event at the Great American Bash but in theory it’s going to be Flair vs. Jarrett for the title. Then again the most logical option at this point would be Russo vs. Terry Funk as those two have been some of the most featured names on the roster in recent weeks. Let’s get to it.
Vampiro vs. Sting
We’re opening with a match. Of course it’s not a wrestling match though because why do that when you can have a GIMMICK MATCH? This is the House of Pain, which is a cage match but you have to handcuff all four of your opponent’s limbs to the ropes to win. At least the cage has a roof on it to make it a bit cooler. Sting climbs to the top of the cage to start and pounds a hole through the roof to get in. Well that’s different. Vampiro grabs a Saito Suplex to take over as I try to figure out why he didn’t grab the BASEBALL BAT that Sting dropped as he was climbing into the cage.
Vampiro stomps him down and screams a lot before kneeing Sting low. A nice spinning kick to the face drops Sting again but he pops back up with a bunch of clotheslines (Hudson: “POWERBOMB AFTER POWERBOMB!”) and a whip into the cage. Vampiro gets shackled face first against the cage but Sting would rather hit a bunch of Stinger Splashes to Vampiro’s back. The match just ends with no bell as Sting walks out.
Rating: D. Normally I would ask why this wasn’t the pay per view match but there’s no mystery here. This has Russo written all over it as he took a match which didn’t need to take place yet and put a big gimmick on top of it to open a show with no warning. I like the idea of opening with a match, but as usual it’s one step forward after fourteen steps back while stopping for a swerve along the way.
The cage starts rising up with Vampiro attached. The lights go out and Vampiro is gone when they come back up.
Shane Douglas attacks Brian Clark in the parking lot. The Goldberg truck is seen in the background.
Captain Rection gives the Misfits a pep talk and gives them their new names: Chavo Guerrero Jr. is now Lieutenant Loco and Van Hammer is Major Stash. They have a new recruit named Major Gunns, who used to be one of the NWO girls.
Kronik comes out with the Tag Team Titles and they’re introduced as champions. Wait when did they win the belts? I thought Bag….never mind as I don’t want to hear the explanation. They want Douglas and Bagwell out here right now. Shane comes out and says Bagwell has been suspended for thirty days but he has backup for this title match.
Tag Team Titles; Shane Douglas/The Wall vs. Kronik
It’s a brawl to start (of course) with Clark chasing Douglas to the back. Wall chokeslams Adams but Clark takes him to the floor for some clubberin. A belly to back suplex puts Clark through a table and splashes Adams through another one. Kronik pops back up and chokeslams Wall onto (not through) the announcers’ table for a pin back inside.
Rating: D. That was a match? I still have no idea if Kronik are really the champions or not but to be fair I don’t think WCW really knows either. Wall looked good and there’s no shame in getting beaten up by two monsters like Kronik. Whatever gets the belts off the dead team of Douglas and Bagwell is a good idea though so why not Kronik.
Wall beats up the paramedics.
Disco tries to join the New Blood but Bischoff blows him off. Terry Funk comes in and still won’t hand over the Hardcore Title. Ernest Miller jumps him and Bischoff goes on about his business as the beating ensues in the back.
Norman Smiley and Ralphus are in the parking lot and in need of a job. The Goldberg truck looms.
Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Filthy Animals
Funk is defending of course and it’s Juvy/Mysterio/Konnan here. Miller attacks Funk on the way to the ring because just three on one isn’t enough of a challenge for him. The trio starts fast and thankfully Miller leaves so it’s not as one sided. A bunch of weapon shots put Funk down and Rey takes a chair to the top for Sabu’s Atomic Arabian Facebuster. Cue the Misfits in Action to attack the Animals but Disco Inferno runs in to help the Animals. Booker T. runs in and cleans house before draping Funk’s arm over Juvy for the pin to retain. Funk hadn’t moved for the last minute and a half.
Rating: F. STOP WITH THE TERRY FUNK STUFF! At this point, Funk is arguably the strongest pushed face on the roster as he keeps winning over these impossible odds and is one of Bischoff’s main targets. That’s really the best thing they can come up with? This wasn’t a match of course but that’s how it goes around here anymore.
Post match Major Gunns bounces to the ring to take off her top and give Funk mouth to mouth.
Ric Flair arrives.
Norman and Ralphus get jobs selling popcorn.
Ric charges into the New Blood’s office to find Russo but Bischoff says he doesn’t know where Russo is. Flair leaves and Bischoff sends Miller to warn Russo.
Chris Candido and Tammy come out and issue an open challenge to any other couple for a mixed tag for the Cruiserweight Title.
Cruiserweight Title: Chris Candido/Tammy vs. Daffney/Crowbar
The guys slug it out to start as Tony acts like this is a perfectly logical decision on all sides. Cue Miss Hancock to watch and continue a story that has somehow gone backwards after all these months. Candido superplexes Crowbar down and drops the top rope headbutt for two with Daffney making the save. Everything breaks down and Crowbar tries to suplex Tammy as Candido holds Daffney back. Yes that’s backwards and no, the announcers don’t mention that it’s backwards.
Tammy actually counters into a small package for two before taking Crowbar down with a swinging neckbreaker. Crowbar doesn’t seem to mind as he slingshots into a splash on Candido for two before taking him outside for a Vader Bomb off the barricade. Tammy baseball slides a chair into Crowbar’s face and everything breaks down again.
Daffney gives Tammy a Bronco Buster but it’s time for Hancock to dance, which she says is for Tony. In the distraction, Crowbar gives Candido a sitout gordbuster on the ramp, allowing Daffney to roll Tammy up for the pin and the title. It’s not clear who champion is now, meaning the Cruiserweight Title is in the same place as the Tag Team Titles.
Rating: D-. This is the definition of Russo having fun instead of doing something that makes sense. Let’s look at this for a second. Candido came up with this match on the fly and we just happen to have a couple (as in one of what, three on the roster?) come out and fight for the Cruiserweight Title. Then, after stupid stuff like Candido holding Daffney back from saving Tammy for reasons that make no sense, Crowbar and Daffney win the title (I guess?) in a WACKY moment. Russo gets to laugh and another title gets to be treated like a joke.
Daffney and Crowbar both hold the title and seem to argue over who is the real champion.
We don’t have time to figure out what’s going on here though as Ric Flair comes out and beats up Crowbar, just in case the Cruiserweight Title was going to seem important for a few moments. Apparently this is over something that happened in Flair’s house over the weekend which we’ll get to see later. At least there’s a story to it.
Flair demands that Russo get out here right now but Russo is in the truck telling someone to play the tape when he tells them to. After a break, Russo is still demanding that Russo get out here.
Now we cut to Sting, who is going to his car but finds it on fire.
Back to Flair (that Sting bit was interjected with no intro or exit and it was right back to the arena) and the tape airs. It’s David driving a nice car up to Ric’s house with Daffney in the trunk and Russo in the front seat. David says the limo out front is for when his stepmother goes to get the groceries. They go inside and David looks at a portrait of him with his brother Reid and sister Ashley (now known as Charlotte), who he says put unfair expectations on him.
They go into Ric’s bedroom so Daffney can bounce on the bed before looking at the pool. David says his pool is a muddy creek, which Russo says is shark infested. Russo steals a robe out of the closet and then takes him into Reid’s room to complain about Ric never coming to David’s games. David claims that he had to sleep in an unfinished basement but Beth, Ashley (who looks like a blonde Stephanie McMahon) and Reid show up. Russo yells at all of them and leaves wearing the robe.
Back in the arena, David and Daffney come to the stage. Ric tells David to come to the ring and David actually does it. Tonight, David is going to grow up. Ric talks about watching David yell at Arn Anderson on Wednesday but David erupts about having to be Ric’s son for all these years. Daffney sticks her tongue out at Ric as he talks about earning a World Title shot at the Great American Bash. Instead, he’s having that match tonight and wants to face David at the pay per view.
Ric says we’re not going to talk about family business on TV because they’ll fight at the Bash. David wants Ric to be ready but Ric gives is standard promo about Dusty Rhodes, Sting and Lex Luger trying to take him out over the years. Ric says he’ll retire if he loses at the Bash and calls David an embarrassment to the family. Jeff Jarrett sneaks in and hits Ric with the guitar. He slaps on the Figure Four and David beats on Ric for a bit.
I get the idea of the story here, but Ric is looking like the most self centered jerk of all time. His son is clearly having a breakdown right in front of him over all the pressure his dad has put on him but Ric is too busy talking about having a World Title shot and blaming David for being manipulated by all the people in wrestling. Remember about a year ago when Ric brought David into this business and made him US Champion? Well neither does Ric because he’s too busy looking out for himself than for his son. For once, I actually get the idea Russo is presenting here, even though I doubt it’s what he had in mind.
Russo yells at Liz in the back and has some tough love for her. She gets to go inside a cage tonight.
Back from a break with the cage lowered and Russo and Liz coming to the ring. They’re fixing the roof of the cage as Russo yells at Liz for humiliating him over the last few weeks. Tonight she’s going to learn in a House of Pain match against Madusa, who Liz hit with a chair last week.
Madusa vs. Miss Elizabeth
Palumbo is watching the door so just get Luger out here already. Russo is in the cage as the bell rings and keeps yelling at Liz. He yells about Liz being from Kentucky and wants her to slap him now. Dude, we get it. You’re doing this because you’ve wanted Liz for like fifteen years now and you’ll be thinking of every single detail of this during your private time later because you got to be a big dominant man over a woman. I really don’t need to see your fantasies coming to life.
So anyway, Luger is the technician on the roof and comes in to clean house and rack Madusa. Ask your own questions about how Luger got up there in that uniform in the three minutes between Russo announcing the match and coming to the ring. Luger cleans house until security breaks the door open and maces him. It’s 12-1 until Kevin Nash makes the save. Funk and Nash need to team up as the Overcomers after they regularly beat these ridiculous odds week after week.
Security leaves Nash alone with Madusa but Mike Awesome comes in to lay Nash out. This of course means it’s time for MORE RUSSO as he comes out, only to leave with Awesome. Nash grabs the mic and wants Awesome in an ambulance match tonight. Awesome says it’s on. That would be the fifth gimmick match of the night.
Scott Steiner and his women arrive and rip up the format. Wait….this was the structured version??? He’ll be waiting out back for Tank and Rick Steiner because there are too many rules in wrestling.
Norman and Ralphus give out popcorn. There’s no story advancement here but I’ll take what I can get.
Rick and Tank go outside to fight Scott, including Rick breaking a 2×4 over his back. The Goldberg truck shows up and crushes about six cars to chase them off.
Nash is backing an ambulance into the arena.
Kevin Nash vs. Mike Awesome
Ambulance match just because. Nash hammers away as you would expect him to but Awesome comes back with a flying clothesline. It’s chair time though and Nash blasts him in the back as Tony talks about relaxed rules. That’s fine in theory but it’s a gimmick match (as is way too common anymore) with no rules. Try to keep up Schiavone.
They fight up the stage with Awesome hitting him low and setting up a table next to the ambulance. Cue Diamond Dallas Page with a Diamond Cutter to Mike on the ramp. A double powerbomb off the stage puts Awesome through the table (ugly bump as Nash couldn’t get him up and Page had to help Awesome down or he would have broken his neck) and the match is over without the ambulance being involved.
Rating: F. When you have this many gimmicks in one night, at least use the gimmicks. After the non-finish in the previous match (can you really even call it one?) they do this because Nash can’t just put him in the ambulance? There’s a chance Awesome was injured, but that could be because Nash shouldn’t be trying to do spots like that on someone as big as Awesome.
Bischoff is watching on a monitor and says he’ll do it himself.
Hogan arrives.
Ralphus has popcorn stuck in his teeth. Crack jokes ensue and Norman thinks they should expand into selling drinks. Ralphus reaches down his pants and then goes into the popcorn so they’re both fired with no pay.
Here are Bischoff/Miller/Kimberly with something to say. Bischoff brags about Page’s impending divorce and says he wants to beat up Page himself. Page better bring some backup with him too. Cue Page to call Miller a pussycat before cleaning house. Kimberly hits Page in the face with a chair and Miller adds a spinning kick but here’s Sid for the first time in a month to stand on the apron. He makes Page tag him (so fitting from Sid) before he’ll come in and…..chokeslam Page. Does this really surprise anyone?
Just in case that angle is about to set in on anyone, Hogan comes out and clears the ring in about three seconds. Bischoff says Hogan is a dead man.
Kidman vs. Horace Hogan vs. Hulk Hogan
Wait didn’t the New Blood destroy Horace on Thunder? Ah yes we get a clip of that but Horace is back here and on the New Blood’s side. Well of course he is. Hudson brings up the fact that Bischoff is doing the same thing to the Hogans that Russo is doing to the Flairs. Before that can sink in though, Tony says this is a three way dance. Why would Bischoff book it as anything but a handicap match? Bischoff jumps in on commentary of course.
Horace stands in the corner as Hulk beats Kidman up. Kidman’s forearms to the back have no effect and Hulk catapults him out to the ramp. It’s time for the weightlifting belt and Bischoff wants a DQ. Back in and Kidman begs Horace for help but Hulk suplexes Kidman for two. They head outside with Hulk posting Kidman, only to come back with a low blow. Eric: “Tremendous uppercut by the Kidster!”
Back in and Hulk no sells the low shot so Kidman does it again. Horace throws Kidman at Hulk, drawing Bischoff to the apron for some yelling. Horace knocks Eric out to the floor so here are the Filthy Animals. The Hogans get chairs and clean house but cue Torrie in a leopard print dress to wink at Horace, who then blasts Hulk with a chair for the pin.
Rating: D. As usual, take fifteen angles and pile it into a five minute match. This was way too much at once and Russo and Bischoff probably thought it needed more. The Hogan feud isn’t doing anything for Kidman as he doesn’t actually win any of the big matches, but why would Hulk be interested in making someone new who could draw more money for the company and ultimately Hulk himself?
Tony doesn’t understand what’s going on between Torrie and Horace. Tony Schiavone can be really, really stupid at times.
Torrie and Horace leave together and Kidman isn’t happy. Eric comes up and says they’ll talk about this. Tony STILL doesn’t get it.
WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jeff is defending. Nash is watching in the back and Russo is wearing Ric’s robe, plus what appear to be some of Reid’s medals. We’re even graced with Russo on commentary for more of that New Yawk accent. Of course it’s a brawl to start and Ric takes it to the announcers’ table early on. They get inside for the first time with Jeff pulling up the bottom rope for a low blow.
It’s back to the floor with Jeff driving a chair into Ric’s ribs and leg as Tony wants David to think for himself. Jeff puts on the Figure Four as Russo reminds us that Ric quit last week. That’s the first mention of that forgotten angle tonight so they almost got away with it. Ric makes the rope for the break and comes back with a low blow. Jarrett slams him off the top but Ric grabs a small package for World Title #15.
Rating: C-. He did it with a wrestling move. How about that? This is one of the few moments that makes sense as you have to give Flair SOMETHING after having him get destroyed so many times. That being said, if you want Jarrett to look like a serious main eventer, stop giving him eight day title reigns.
Russo and David beat Ric down again after the match. Vince leaves with the title but Nash comes out to take it away from him. Nash powerbombs Jarrett through the ring and stands tall because the new World Champion is just a guy. At least he hands the title to Flair.
Bischoff tells someone that they have a plan that they’ll start Wednesday morning. Shane Douglas is placed in charge at Thunder. Of all the people, you pick SHANE DOUGLAS?
Flair holds up the title to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. This was every Russo idea stuffed into one show and cranked up to about seventeen. All night long it was cramming all kinds of stuff into a single segment, followed by people turning on each other and of course Russo. Russo here, Russo there and Russo in the background of other scenes.
Now at least they have something resembling stories going on, but the problem is there are so many ideas going on that you can’t keep up with them. Take the Liz vs. Madusa stuff for instance. They do the match, Luger making the save, Awesome coming out and then Nash coming out in the span of five minutes. There’s so much going on that I have no idea if any of them had an impact on me or not.
The one thing I’m sure of is I’m sick of Russo on camera. It’s the same I’M FROM NEW YORK stuff over and over again as the women keep getting beaten up by men or yelled at by Russo because he needs to validate his masculinity eighteen times a night. I’m tired of seeing Russo all the time because there’s no payoff for him. It’s all “I’m Vince Russo and I hate tradition but there’s nothing you can do about it because I’m from New York and smart and stuff.” Just picture that for three hours plus four or five gimmick matches a night and you have this episode of Nitro. Oh and Russo because he hasn’t been mentioned enough lately.
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Thunder – May 10, 2000: Gordon Solie’s Tricep Meat
Thunder Date: May 10, 2000
Location: Prairie Capital Convention Center, Springfield, Illinois
Attendance: 4,129
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay
Believe it or not, WCW had a good show earlier in the week to lead into this one. Above all else they slowed things down a bit and are finally acting like something resembling a wrestling company. We’re coming up on Great American Bash and it’s not really clear what the main event is going to be. Ric Flair was scheduled to be challenging Jeff Jarrett for the World Title but that might have been changed to Ric vs. his son David instead. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Cruiserweight Title: Crowbar vs. Chris Candido
No Russo and Bischoff to start? I could get used to this. I’m sure I won’t need to but I could do it. Candido is defending and talks about how awesome Tammy is before we get going. They start fighting right at the bell and Crowbar tries something resembling a headscissors. Candido pops back up and grabs a DDT for two. It doesn’t have a ton of effect as Crowbar has a thick skull so he pops up with a Death Valley Driver and a slingshot legdrop for two of his own.
Tammy offers a distraction but Candido gets thrown to the floor anyway for a dive from Crowbar. Back in and Candido suplexes him over the top and onto the ramp as this is more wrestling than you usually get on these shows. Like I said, they’re toning it down a bit lately and things are working a lot better. Back in and Crowbar gets crotched on top but Daffney breaks up the top rope headbutt. The Frankenscreamer triggers a catfight but Candido hits Crowbar low and the headbutt retains the title.
Rating: C+. More unnecessary shenanigans messing up what was a good match to start the show. Crowbar is an underrated guy and it’s nice to see him getting to do something other than the hardcore nonsense that he was best known for. Candido continues to be so smooth in the ring but it’s a shame that they’re trying to put so much focus on Tammy when she’s miles beyond the Sunny years.
Terry Funk won’t give Bischoff the Hardcore Title so it’s time for some heat. Why is Terry Funk being Hardcore Champion one of the top stories in this company? This is typical WCW. Yeah Funk is hardcore and yeah he’s a legend, but this is a story that could be used to make someone into a big deal. How about Crowbar? Let him have the title and make him into a big deal. No instead we need someone who was World Champion over twenty years ago for a nostalgia run that no one outside of Texas was really dying to see. I know Funk is awesome, but he doesn’t need this.
David Flair, Crowbar, Daffney and Vince Russo were in New York. Daffney is told to go do something while the three of them see a movie. The implication is that it’s adult in nature, which raises several questions about Russo in general as it was his idea.
Hardcore Title: Harlem Heat vs. Terry Funk
Funk is defending though I think Big T.’s gut weighs more than Terry on its own. Terry comes out carrying chickens because we’re still referencing that stupid Dustin Rhodes story. Thankfully they don’t spend too long selling the chickens and some double teaming, including a snazzy run down the ramp and diving clothesline from T., puts Funk in trouble. Cash’s involvement doesn’t help much and T. hits Stevie with a trashcan lid by mistake. We finally get the Harlem Heat collapse, allowing Terry to hit Cash with a chair to retain. Does it matter that Cash wasn’t officially in the match?
Rating: D. Well at least we got rid of Harlem Heat and on top of that we get to add another win for Funk. They kept this one short and limited it to some basic weapons shots which is probably best all around. The Hardcore Title idea was long past its expiration date in both companies at this point and I’m hoping they tone this thing down soon.
Tenay is interviewing Vampiro and asks him why he’s in character. Oh for the love of all things good and made of Gordon Solie’s tricep meat. Vampiro talks about his love of music inspiring him to wear makeup and get tattoos while Sting is treated like a king. He has “Steve’s” vulture (when did he take that?) and brings up Ozzy Osborne biting the head off a dove. Cue Sting to hit Vampiro with the bird’s cage (“For your first cage match!”) and call him Ian, which makes Vampiro laugh.
Shawn Stasiak vs. Lash Leroux
I love alliteration. Before the match, Lash says he wants to be known as Corporal Cajun. Hennig comes out for commentary which will likely not explain his actions on Monday. A rollup gets two for Cajun but he gets slammed face first out of the corner to put him down. Stasiak gets two off a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb and they head outside with Cajun being rammed into various objects.
Shawn gets two off a top rope clothesline and you can feel the lack of charisma from him. Stasiak is fine with the technical stuff but he has no presence and is really just a guy in good shape doing moves. Even Cajun, who was really nothing beyond average, has far better ring presence and charisma than Stasiak. Shawn is totally adequate in the ring but he’s nothing more than that. Anyway Cajun comes back with a missile dropkick and they fall out to the floor again. This time Hennig drops Cajun on the announcers’ table though, setting up Stasiak’s PerfectPlex for the pin.
Rating: D+. The action was a bit better here and I guess they’re going with “if you can’t beat him, help him win matches against wrestlers he should have no trouble beating himself” for Hennig. I know Stasiak isn’t the most interesting guy in the world but at least they’re putting a young guy over a veteran. Hennig is over for the rest of his career so a single loss isn’t going to hurt him. Thankfully he’s one of the guys smart enough to realize this and put Stasiak over.
The rest of the Misfits chase Hennig off.
Russo makes Liz vs. Rhonda Singh tonight and if Liz wins she gets to be with Luger. These segments are just ways for Russo to be around the woman he had a big crush on back in the day aren’t they?
Back in New York, because we need two Russo sections, Vince messes with Daffney thinking a replica Statue of Liberty is the real one.
Rhonda Sing vs. Elizabeth
The fat jokes start during the entrances. Liz hides in the corner to start and Sing crushes her with a splash. Luger comes in to break up another splash, allowing Liz to kick Sing in the chest. Luger Racks Sing…..and that’s a submission. Tony: “He is the strongest man in the world!” Oh screw you Schiavone and Russo/Bischoff for feeding him that line.
Post match Chuck Palumbo comes out with a ball bat (that’s WAY too common a weapon) to knock out Luger and kidnap Liz again.
This match was embarrassing. They brought these two out here so Russo could make fat jokes about Sing and drool over Liz in wrestling gear (a black t-shirt and camouflage skirt) while getting some of his precious violence against women in there. As usual, it’s all about Russo having the mentality of a 12 year old at 39 years old. The fat jokes aren’t funny and these segments get more and more disgusting every time.
Here are Russo/Daffney/David because we haven’t seen enough of them tonight. Russo asks for a moment of silence for Ric Flair. Oh please like Russo could ever let that mouth of his have a rest. Ric walked out of wrestling on Monday night after Russo broke him. What people don’t know is how horrible of a father Ric has been for the last twenty one years. David whines about his dad never being there for him on the first day of school and when he went to the prom. He wanted his dad at the prom? I mean, I know Ric has been in drag before but this is ridiculous.
David isn’t done yet as he calls out Uncle Arn for a talk. Anderson comes out and asks if “I’m mad” is really the best excuse David can come up with. Russo is just trying to control David to get to Ric and David is letting it happen. Arn teamed with Ric for fifteen years and was compared to him every day. Ric was so upset over having to miss big days in his son’s life but he would be out there wrestling with 105 degree fevers because the people like you and you and you paid to see him. All David has ever had to worry about was what college he was going to and picking out what car his dad would buy him the day he graduates.
Russo chimes in (oh please. Grace us with your wisdom) and makes Arn vs. David for tonight. Arn doesn’t seem worried. “I might not be the Enforcer anymore but David isn’t the Nature Boy. Let’s do it.” As usual, Anderson is one of the greatest talkers of all time and sums up the whole story in as simple of a manner as anyone ever could with the perfect emotion.
Bischoff and company are talking to Chuck Palumbo.
Hogan arrives. I bet he isn’t even fined for being so late.
Bischoff gives Funk one more Hardcore Title match tonight. This is airing two days after the WWF did the exact same story with Chris Jericho and the Intercontinental Title.
Hardcore Title: Chuck Palumbo vs. Terry Funk
Time for Funk to beat another rookie they’re trying to build up. Palumbo is challenging and of course does Luger’s entrance. Chuck starts fast and hits Funk in the head with a chair. It’s already table time and Funk goes through the wood in the corner. Since Funk’s character is that he’s indestructible, he pops right back up and takes it to the floor for some brawling. Well at least they’re doing something they should do in a hardcore match.
It goes into the crowd and then into the back with Funk taking over. Some trashcans to the head don’t do much good for either guy so Chuck tries to slam him onto a spinning fan and therefore kill him. This brings in Luger who throws Palumbo up against a dumpster, giving Funk the pin to retain. That would be Palumbo’s debut as anyone important and he’s 0-1.
Rating: D+. So not only are they blatantly ripping off WWF’s idea but they’re also having Funk beat three guys in one night, including Palumbo who could go somewhere for them. This could have been a backstage segment and accomplished the same thing, but then we might not have gotten Bischoff on screen again.
The security beats up Luger post match and Palumbo slams him into a door. Funk has wondered off somewhere, probably trying to find a John Wayne movie.
Kevin Nash arrives, but the more interesting thing is Norman Smiley and Ralphus holding up a “Will Wrestle For Food” sign. Got an act the fans are getting interested in? Well make sure they don’t get to go in the ring!
Kidman vs. Horace Hogan
If Horace loses, he’s fired. Hulk is also banned from ringside but Bischoff and the Filthy Animals are here with Kidman. Horace powers him around to start and hits a quick Rock Bottom. Kidman gets up and hits Charles Robinson but Bischoff makes it No DQ. That allows Horace to hit Kidman with a chair but a Bischoff distraction lets Kidman score with a dropkick. Bischoff makes it falls count anywhere and I’m having flashbacks to Over the Edge 1998.
Horace boots Kidman in the face so let’s make it a handicap match, even though it could have been already given that it’s No DQ. The Animals come in and beat the heck out of Horace with Kidman adding a Macho Man (you remember him. The guy that came back last week like it was a big deal and will never be seen again with no explanation) elbow. The Animals go to the floor but Horace gets up and plants Kidman with a Death Valley Driver for the pin. Not so fast of course because it’s now a Texas Death Match so Kidman has a ten count to get up.
Kidman gets up at nine and Bischoff hits Horace in the back with a chair and makes it an I Quit match. Eric is feeling nice though and offers Horace a spot on the team, earning him some spit in his eye. This brings in the Animals for a dog pile pin on Horace to end this No DQ, falls count anywhere, handicap, Texas death, I quit match which Kidman won via a pinfall.
Rating: F. For Foley, who did this way better. That’s the major difference. When Russo did this for Austin vs. Foley, not only was it a 20+ minute match, but they were capable of having a great match no matter what the rules were. This was Kidman vs. Horace in a match that didn’t even last six and a half minutes. Russo of course didn’t get the difference.
After the match, Hulk comes in to destroy everyone, including no selling Bischoff’s chair shot. He chases Bischoff to the back until Nash comes out to take care of the Filthy Animals. This brings out Russo to list off some of Nash’s stupid gimmicks over the years and there’s a blood bath for Big Kev.
Post break, Russo and Bischoff get in a limo but Hogan and Nash show up to destroy the car with ball bats.
Arn Anderson vs. David Flair
This is going to be interesting. Anderson gets behind David with ease and shoves him into the corner. A takedown puts Flair down even more easily so David tries to cheat with choking and punches. This goes as well as a scrawny kid punching Arn Anderson is going to go so David rakes the eyes. Crowbar tries to run in and eats a great spinebuster. Now it’s Daffney coming in and hitting Arn low, allowing David to bust another Statue of Liberty (again: the real money in wrestling is mass producing breakaway weapons) over Arn’s head. The referee gets tossed and the match is thrown out.
The bloody Arn is put in the Figure Four as Crowbar counts a pin.
Now it’s off to New York where David, Crowbar and Daffney are in a toy store. Is there a point coming to these segments anytime soon?
Here’s Rick Steiner with something to say. After a clip of him turning on his brother on Monday (it’s still not clear if Scott is a face or a heel), Rick says that Goldberg is old news. He brings out the man who might not be the prettiest in the world but he can knock Goldberg out with one punch. Tank comes out with the Goldberg parody entrance, complete with Russo and Bischoff security and sparklers. So he’s kind of parodying Gillberg? Rick talks about attacking Scott last night (HIRE AN EDITOR ALREADY! OR GIVE THE WRESTLERS A CALENDAR!) because Scott turned on him two years ago to join the NWO.
Tank says he’s going to run Goldberg over but here’s Kronik to interrupt for some reason. The brawl is on and here are Bagwell and Douglas to try to get their title belts back. Scott Steiner runs out to go after Rick but Rick bails, leaving Scott and Kronik to beat up security. We cut to the back to see the Goldberg truck crushing Tank and Rick’s car. Didn’t he do that to Sid’s car over and over? Maybe these people should start coming in cabs.
David proposes to Daffney. Sure why not.
Sting vs. Mike Awesome
Ambulance match and Awesome is now billed as the Career Killer. Never let it be said that WCW isn’t as classy as they could be. Mike takes over to start and hits a running splash in the corner but stops to get a table. Heenan is trying to put Awesome over as an unstoppable monster but it’s kind of hard to make it work when one of the first images of him in the company was losing to Scott Steiner in his second match.
The table winds up on the ramp and but Sting backdrops a charging Awesome through it to take over. They fight over to and then on top of the ambulance. Awesome can’t powerbomb him onto the roof so Sting hooks the Death Drop to knock Mike out on top. Cue Vampiro to jump Sting and throw him inside to give the unconscious Awesome the win.
Rating: D-. I don’t know. I don’t know if this was any good because how much can you tell about a gimmick match when the majority of it is over in three minutes and the last bit is Sting getting down and then attacked by someone interfering? There was no difference between this and a regular match with Vampiro coming in to lay Sting out to give Awesome the pin. That alone tells me that there’s no need for a gimmick attached, but Russo never understood that concept.
Overall Rating: D. And it’s right back where it was a week ago. This was another big mess with WAY too much going on and a bunch of ideas that are thrown out there with no build and no reason to care about almost anything. Above all else there is WAY too much Russo as he’s involved with Hogan, Nash, Luger and Flair among others. Not even Vince McMahon on his best day can be that spread out and expect it to work long term. Bad show here, but that’s going to be the norm due to how stupid so much of the writing really is.
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