Bash at the Beach 1999
Date: July 11, 1999
Location: National Car Rental Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Attendance: 13,624
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re going in a new direction at this point in WCW as the promotion has gone from really boring to freaking insane in the course of a few weeks. A good chunk of this show was booked within the last few weeks and knowing the stories isn’t likely going to help me get through it. Let’s get to it.

I’ve actually seen this show far more often than I should as I found it at a Blockbuster for $2 when I was about thirteen. It took many years to suppress those memories but here we go again.

The opening video is a wordless montage about the four men in the main event. I mean, if there’s one story that doesn’t need a verbal explanation, it’s one about Savage and Sid trying to kill Nash and then the heroic champion kidnapping and potentially raping Gorgeous George, causing Savage to throw her out of their dressing room with a side plot of Sting potentially driving the Hummer that nearly killed Nash and then Nash changing the rules of the tag match so that anyone, including his partner, can pin him for the title. Also for some reason they air the video then show it about five more times as a very fast speed.

Tony says the tag match tonight started as a tag match. It was once going to be Sting/Nash vs. Savage/Sid in a tag team match, but it’s now Sting/Nash vs. Savage/Sid in a tag team match. No that’s not a misprint.

After those words of wisdom, Schiavone explains the junkyard match and the boxing match before throwing it to Gene for a Hotline ad.

Mike Tenay is at the junkyard, which he knows about because his sources told him where to go. Apparently there’s going to be a ring of cars with a bunch of obstacles to get around and the first person to jump over a fence and escape wins. This company is rapidly becoming more of a parody of wrestling than an actual wrestling promotion.

Video on the Cat vs. Disco Inferno. Cat had a kickboxing match with Jerry Flynn and lost via DQ so Flynn took him down in a brawl after the match. He and Disco had a dance off a week earlier, making the kickboxing stuff completely pointless.

Disco Inferno vs. The Cat

The original stipulation was the loser could never dance again but that has since been dropped. The lawyers must be working overtime as the match was announced three days ago and the stipulation was never mentioned on Thunder. Miller rants before the match and wants another dance contest before we get going. He demands that the people all vote for him or else he’ll beat them all up. Tony explains that he’ll lose because he threatened the fans because WCW thinks we’re rather thick headed. Disco dances for about two seconds before Cat goes after him and we’re ready to go.

Inferno starts like a kitchen of fire (not enough for a whole house) and sends Miller sliding out to the floor. Back in and Cat nails a few kicks, so Disco just tackles him to the mat and hammers away. Some atomic drops from Disco set up some miscommunication on what looked to be his swinging neckbreaker.

Cat comes back with a kick to the head and walks around as Sonny gets in a few shots of his own. Those are as effective as you would expect since Sonny, a legitimately accomplished karate fighter, is a manager and therefore incapable of hurting anyone. Back in and Disco grabs a quick sunset flip for two but gets his head kicked off again.

Another kick misses though and Disco legsweeps him down, setting up a middle rope elbow for two. Cat rakes the eyes and puts on the shoe, only to have Disco take it away and blast him in the face. Sonny’s distraction makes it only a two count though, allowing Cat to put the shoe back on and kick Disco for about the fifth time for the pin.

Rating: D. This really was the best thing they could think of to start a show? It’s really hard to care about a match with no build, no value and nothing beyond basic moves. The fact that it had Ernest Miller in there made things even less interesting. It’s not even a horrible match or anything, but there’s just no reason to care about something like that.

Judge Mills Lane won’t put up with any garbage tonight and will chase Bagwell or Piper if need be.

We recap the TV Title match. The video starts with Van Hammer surviving against Disco Inferno because the referee was down and a handful of tights. Then Flair saved Hammer from getting put through a table by banning hardcore matches, allowing Hammer to hit Hugh Morrus with a table and drive him through it. Somehow that earned him a TV Title shot here.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Van Hammer

Keep in mind that there really isn’t a face in this match as there’s no reason to like either guy. Steiner comes out first for no apparent reason. They trade hard shots to the face to start and Steiner is knocked out to the floor. Steiner goes into his new standard of just driving someone down to the mat and ripping at their face a lot. Back up and Rick hammers away before taking Hammer outside to send him into the barricade.

Rick hits a horrible looking DDT on the exposed concrete and covers on the floor to continue getting on my nerves. Back in and Hammer hits him low, only to have Rick punch him in the face to take over again. They head outside one more time with Hammer nailing him in the head with a chair before taking him back inside for the Alabama Slam for two. Steiner bites him between the legs, punts him in the same spot (referee just watches him) and hits the Steiner Bulldog to retain.

Rating: F. Rick Steiner has reached the point where he’s an embarrassment. Between never selling anything from a chair shot to a low blow, there’s just nothing Hammer (who isn’t the guy you want carrying a bag of groceries, let alone a PPV title match) can do. What WCW saw in him other than name recognition I’ll never know, but if someone thinks he’s skilled in the ring, they have no business being in charge of a wrestling company.

We get an overhead view of the junkyard, which really just looks like a parking lot with a bunch of cars stacked up in a circle. The winner gets a trophy but Tenay can’t answer who is going to be in the match because it’s unsanctioned.

We recap David Flair being named US Champion, meaning we just see the segment again. Again, weren’t the Flairs fighting months ago about David siding with Torrie and having his father hold him down? Now David has ten women around him (including Torrie) and his dad made him US Title. That’s a big jump in the span of five months.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. David Flair

David is defending of course and comes out with Torrie, in a very pushed up tied off top, shirt that might be nine inches long, and a black cowboy hat. Ric, Arn and Asya are here too but Johnny Boone is refereeing. Tony says David hasn’t been impressive in all of his title defenses. You know, all one of them.

Dean of course throws him down with ease and stomps away in the corner before planting David with a suplex. Ric comes in but gets decked as Dean puts on the Cloverleaf. Anderson nails the referee with a spinebuster, allowing Robinson to take over as referee. Dean Cloverleafs Asya but Ric nails him with the US Title to give David the pin.

Rating: F. Dang it this was just long enough to grade. As I said in the Nitro review, I get the idea they’re going for here, but wasn’t there another scrub you could put in there instead of Malenko? I know Dean isn’t going to be headlining a PPV anytime soon, but he’s the kind of guy that should actually be the US Champion. This kind of story is good in the right circumstances, but WCW isn’t in a place where they can turn yet another title into a joke and keep beating their midcard guys into the ground, even in a match that doesn’t end anywhere near clean.

Long recap of the Rednecks vs. the No Limit Soldiers, complete with the full I Hate Rap video. Barry Windham is such a talented drummer that he just scares the drums into playing themselves because he certainly isn’t hitting them. This includes a lot of shouting HOOTY HOO, which amazingly enough didn’t get the rappers over. Master P. is long gone, apparently saying that there weren’t enough of “his people” in the audience for the night the angle took off. That would be in P.’s hometown in New Orleans if you aren’t big on guys who shout like owls.

No Limit Solders vs. West Texas Rednecks

Swoll, B.A., Rey Mysterio Jr., Konnan

Curt Hennig, Barry Windham, Kendall Windham, Bobby Duncum Jr.

Elimination tag, which I believe is the first explanation of the rules for this match. The best part of this: the camera comes back to the arena early, showing ring announcer David Penzer counting the fans down on when to cheer. Tony fails at covering for him by saying that he was saying hi to his five family members in the audience. The levels that this company falls to when trying to cover their mistakes is astounding. Heenan redeems things a bit by saying that the Soldiers’ problem could be solved if they just put a light in their closets. Rey and Konnan make sure to shout a lot before we’re ready to go.

Mysterio and Barry get things going with the Cruiserweight Champion getting hammered down in the corner. Rey comes back by sending Barry into the corner and getting two off a split legged moonsault. Off to Hennig vs. B.A. with Armstrong nailing a dropkick before trying to talk some trash. Thankfully that goes nowhere as it’s off to Duncum before the big Swoll comes in with a bad looking clothesline. Swoll hammers on Duncum but Kendall comes in with a cheap shot to take over.

Kendall misses a charge into the post so Mysterio comes in without a tag. Naturally the referee is fine with this. Kendall tries to beat the rules into him but Rey nails him with a springboard seated senton to knock both Kendall and Duncum out to the floor. Back in and it’s Konnan vs. Hennig before Rey hits another springboard seated senton on Hennig. Duncum and Hennig both get hammered in the corner until it’s Swoll ducking Duncum’s cross body for two in an awkward sequence. Rey adds a springboard legdrop and Swoll pins Bobby.

The other Soldiers, Chase and 4×4 (who makes Ezekiel Jackson look like David Flair) beat up Duncum in the aisle because they’re heroes. Barry and Konnan hammer away on each other until Curt comes back in for a double clothesline. Off to BA as the Rednecks keep control with Curt nailing a quick HennigPlex to make it 3-3. Mysterio tried to dive in for a save but came in too fast and basically started crawling in slow motion for no logical reason.

So it’s Konnan getting beaten down now with Kendall hitting a bad looking lariat and a slightly better looking slam. He misses a middle rope knee though and Konnan hits a rolling lariat of his own (called a DDT by Tony), followed by the facebuster for two. Rey dropkicks Kendall into a horrible “rollup” for the pin on Kendall. Barry DDTs Konnan for two as 4×4 and Chase beat up Kendall.

Everything breaks down with Barry going to the floor…..and being carried off by Chase with Konnan following. For some reason this isn’t a DQ and both guys are counted out. So it’s Hennig vs. Swoll/Mysterio. Swoll comes in for some incredibly sloppy offense as Barry comes back in. Curt tries to bail but 4×4 stops him in his tracks. Back in and Swoll hits his stupid palm strike to the chest before bringing in Rey for the Jimmy Snuka/Andre the Giant big splash off the shoulders for the pin.

Rating: C-. Swoll is horrible. Like he’s really, really bad, to the point that he can barely throw punches correctly. I understand that he was really new at this, but as WCW should have learned over the years, that’s why he shouldn’t be on a major show like this. The Soldiers continue to act entirely like heels here, just like they have for most of this feud.

The announcers chat for a bit about the rest of the card.

We get Hak’s challenge for the junkyard match.

Junkyard Invitational

Ciclope, Jerry Flynn, Johnny Grunge, Hak, Horace Hogan, Brian Knobs, Hugh Morrus, La Parka, Lord Steven Regal, Fit Finlay, Rocco Rock, Silver King, Squire David Taylor, and Mikey Whipwreck

They’re in a junkyard, first person to climb over a fence wins. The place is huge so there’s almost no way to see more than four or five people at once unless you go to a helicopter shots. Public Enemy (a surprise) flips a car over as I’m only going to be able to call big spots. There are barrels of fire everywhere. Jerry Flynn puts an electrical cord into an engine to make sparks fly out. Knobbs dives off one car for an elbow onto King on the roof of a van.

Finlay hits la Parka in the ribs with a bumper as Dave Taylor hits Morrus in the head with a trashcan lid. The annoyed look on Morrus’ face as he just keeps walking is rather amusing. The camera shots are only lasting about ten seconds at most so it’s hard to call much of anything. Jimmy Hart is running around in a yellow shirt and a hard hat. Rocco Rock is thrown into the window of a van. Morrus dives off a car with an elbow onto Rock because they’re already repeating spots.

I think Ciclope dives off a car onto about six guys before they start throwing things at each other instead of doing anything coherent. Finlay goes Captain America by blocking a punch with a trashcan lid and hitting Horace in the face with it. Brian wraps Taylor in a tire as we’re waiting on someone to try and win. Rocco and Horace make the first trip over with Horace making a last second save to keep Rock from escaping.

Silver King is bleeding from the arm as this just keeps going. Taylor has to dance out of a tire before Knobs and Hak put Finlay in a car. A forklift pops up and takes the car over to the crusher but Finlay gets out to prevent death. Of course the forklift hasn’t been seen all match until this point. Then another car blows up and Finlay climbs over the fence to win.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling, and quite frankly I’m really not sure what it was. Why in the world WCW thought this was a good idea is beyond me and I’m sure the live audience is going to be THRILLED after having sat there for fifteen minutes waiting on this to end. On top of all that, Finlay would hurt his leg soon after this at a house show (in a hardcore match of course) and be out for months, making the whole thing worthless. I can’t imagine he’s the only one to get injured in this mess either.

We recap the Triad vs. Saturn/Benoit. They fought each other, then they fought each other some more, then they had some singles matches, now they’re having a title match. For some reason we get a bunch of clips of the eight man tag from Nitro which doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, other than a boxing match. They’re trying to tie this into the old vs. new feud, which doesn’t even seem to be a thing anymore.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Jersey Triad

The Triad is defending. Kanyon starts on the floor as Saturn and Page slug it out in the middle. It’s Saturn taking over with a bunch of right hands before knocking Bigelow and Kanyon off the apron for good measure. Off to Bigelow vs. Benoit as the announcers call Benoit an uncrowned champion. Hasn’t he been a three time champion by this point? Bam Bam gets dropped into the middle buckle and sent out to the floor for a meeting with his partners.

Back in and Kanyon fights out of a suplex from Saturn and knees him down against the ropes. He grabs the referee to block a German attempt, only to have Benoit chop him into a t-bone. Back to Benoit for the decapitation clothesline followed by a Liontamer (which he used before Jericho). A double clothesline drops Kanyon for two more as the challengers stay in full control. Benoit stomps Kanyon down in the corner and starts in on his leg.

Saturn drops a top rope legdrop for two but Page comes in without a tag to take over, sending Saturn to the floor for a triple team to take over. Bigelow comes in for a big suplex and a falling headbutt for two. Back to Kanyon after Bigelow uses Flair’s “how much time is left” trick. Kanyon drops a leg for one of the slowest two counts I can remember in a long time. The fans get distracted by something in the crowd so Bigelow puts Saturn in a chinlock.

Kanyon comes back in but gets crotched on the top, setting up a belly to belly superplex from Saturn. Benoit gets the hot tag and goes after Bigelow, only to have Page take him down with a top rope clothesline. Page is VERY pleased with this move, running out to the floor and celebrating like a mad man, even climbing onto the barricade. Back in and Page gets two off an elbow drop before it’s off to Bigelow for some fat man offense.

Page comes in again and runs Benoit over for two with Saturn making the save. We get a front chancery from Page but Benoit drives him into the corner for the hot tag, which of course the referee doesn’t see. That wicked sitout powerbomb from Page is good for two. Benoit finally suplexes Kanyon down but Bigelow breaks up a hot tag attempt. Bam Bam misses the moonsault though and we FINALLY get the hot tag to Saturn (which the camera doesn’t catch).

Saturn cleans house with suplexes and clotheslines Page and Kanyon out to the floor. Everything breaks down again and Saturn hits a top rope splash, followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit but Page comes in off the top for the save. Saturn loads Page up with the Death Valley Driver but Kanyon throws powder in his face, only to have it get in Page’s eyes too, causing him to Diamond Cut Kanyon. Bigelow makes the save but Benoit Germans Page for a VERY close two. Page throws in a metal trashcan as the referee gets bumped. He hits Kanyon by mistake but Bigelow comes in for a 3D on Saturn to retain the titles.

Rating: B+. Give that match a less messy finish and it’s a classic. There was a lot of good stuff in here and the majority of it was due to how much time they were given. Everyone was allowed to get in there for awhile and the fans bought into the idea of two guys trying to fight against the big cheating team. They gave it a great effort and the whole thing just worked. Really good stuff here, though not enough to save this disaster of the show.

Clip of Judge Mills Lane agreeing to referee the boxing match. That’s all of the recap because there was no reason for this to be a boxing match other than Piper barely being a wrestler anymore.

Roddy Piper vs. Buff Bagwell

Big time boxing referee Mills Lane is referee here to try to make people care. In case you’ve never seen him, just picture Mr. Strickland from Back to the Future. Piper has Flair in his corner. Buff’s gloves are actually labeled “Buff’s Left” and “Buff’s Right”. Bagwell sees Flair in Piper’s corner, so he has someone to have his back: HIS MOM, “Judge Judy” Bagwell. And I give up. Seriously it was bad enough when this was boxing instead of Piper just doing a freaking job for Bagwell like he should be doing, but now BUFF’S MOM IS HERE???

Flair gives Bagwell a chance to leave but Buff reminds him of the pin off the Blockbuster a few weeks back. You know, when Flair put Bagwell over in the middle of the ring in the whole point of this entire story. The rounds are two minutes long here. Piper sticks his chin out to start until Buff hammers him into the corner. The fans are dead at this point if you couldn’t guess. Bagwell tees off on Piper (well, as much as he can BECAUSE HE ISN’T A BOXER) to end the first round.

Flair sprays something on Piper’s gloves in between the rounds as this continues to fall apart. Piper hits a few jabs to the face and Bagwell’s eyes are burning. He gets punched down in the corner as Judy brings over a sponge to try and clean Buff’s eyes out. Back up and Piper wildly swings until Buff knocks Piper down in the corner in an identical sequence from Piper vs. Mr. T. thirteen years ago, because that’s what this is supposed to be….a tribute to I suppose? Piper gets up as round two ends.

I’m going to pause for a second here and give you a bit of context to what is about to happen. Fifteen months ago, WCW was still in control of the Monday Night Wars and hadn’t lost a night in the ratings in nearly two years. Their last win was about nine months before this. Yeah they were in trouble, but it’s not like they were so desperate for something good to happen that they had to go insane. A few weeks back, Buff Bagwell hit his finishing move and pinned Ric Flair in the middle of the ring on Nitro, which should have been the start of a huge push for him. After all that, I give you the third round of this boxing match.

Piper jumps Bagwell in the corner and attacks Bagwell early, so his mother Judy gets in the ring and bites Piper’s ear. She then dumps the spit bucket over Piper’s head as Buff punches Flair off the apron. Buff goes up and hits the Blockbuster on Piper as Judy holds Flair on the apron, allowing Buff to pin Piper for the win. Judy chases the President of WCW around the ring after the match.

Rating: G. As in below an F and for GOOD FREAKING GRIEF THEY REALLY COULDN’T COME UP WITH ANYTHING BETTER THAN THIS??? Piper wasn’t capable of doing a five minute match and doing a job for Bagwell? Does WCW really think that it’s important enough to protect him from taking a fall in a wrestling match that they’ll let him take a fall in a boxing match? Read that sentence back and see how insane it sounds. Now throw in Judy Bagwell and more hijinks than an episode of Looney Tunes and you see what happened to WCW in the summer of 1999.

We recap Nash/Sting vs. Savage/Sid. Savage being a woman beater and Nash potentially raping George is glossed over. On the other hand, the Fake Sting attacking Nash, causing Nash to go after Sting, even though the real Sting came out to beat up the Fake Sting, is left out with only the Fake Sting beating Nash down being shown. For some reason Nash wanted this to be a tag team match where anyone, including his partner, could pin him for the title. Again, this isn’t mentioned in the video. We’ll also ignore Nash saying he saw Sting driving the Hummer before we see that happening in the package.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash/Sting

Nash is defending in what is more like a handicap fatal fourway than a tag match if that makes sense. In theory Sting can only pin Nash for the title, meaning it’s basically one on one on two. Thankfully Tony mentions the whole Sting can pin Nash and the real Sting coming out during the entrances. Yes, we’ve reached the point where Tony Schiavone is having to cover for the production team’s goofs.

George (living up to the gorgeous moniker tonight) comes out in sunglasses but takes them off to reveal a black eye as she goes to stand in Nash’s corner. The reason for the black eye isn’t explained because that really wasn’t something that should have happened, nor is it even referenced by the announcers. Savage and Sting start but Randy sees George changing corners and freaks out. Sting uses the chance to deck Savage and the fight is slowly on.

Off to Sid to face Sting as Tony explains the rules, making this match even more confusing that it was in the first place. Sting quickly knocks Sid out to the floor but Nash isn’t interested in tagging. So in theory, if Nash doesn’t get pinned, he doesn’t lose the title? It’s not like we’ve ever gotten a clear answer to that, though to be fair I doubt WCW thought it that far through. Sid and Savage start double teaming Sting with the big man putting on a bad looking camel clutch.

Savage comes in and spits at the champ, but thankfully doesn’t hit his hair. Sting finally rolls away and makes the tag to Nash for all the usual offense. He has Savage in trouble but gives Sting a very hard tag to get out. Sting takes it outside and splashes the barricade before Savage takes him back inside for some choking. Tony points out that almost no one has tries to pin Nash yet, making the whole stipulation rather pointless.

Sid hooks one of the lamest chinlocks I’ve ever seen on Sting, who is nice enough to go down to the mat in a heap. Granted he might have fainted after hearing some of the nonsense they actually aired on this show. Sting fights up again and does the falling low blow spot, allowing for the hot tag off to Nash.

Everything breaks down and the girls come in, only to have Sting splash both of them plus Sid. Savage and Nash get splashed at the same time, allowing Sid to plant Sting with a chokeslam. George gets in and low blows Nash (SHOCK AND AWE, SHOCK AND AWE), setting up the big elbow from Savage for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. I wonder if they bothered to tell everyone else in the match about the whole Sting can pin Nash rule, because it was NEVER attempted and was a complete non factor. George’s face turn (can you even call it that?) lasted all of twelve minutes, meaning she’s picking the woman beater over the kidnapper and potential rapist. I can’t believe I just had to type that, so I’ll wrap it up by saying it’s a horrible match.

Overall Rating: F. The fact that a REALLY good twenty three minute Tag Team Title match is needed to bring this show up to a failure tells you all you need to know. This show had eight matches. One of them was a joke with David Flair needing an army to beat Malenko, one wasn’t wrestling because it was a big fight in a junkyard, and one was a boxing match. Two of the others were matches that belonged on Thunder at best, another one was a boring elimination tag, and one MADE NO FREAKING SENSE.

This show blew my mind in ways that I honestly didn’t think were possible. Just let some of this stuff sink in for a few minutes. Roddy Piper apparently can’t be trusted in a five minute match, we can’t have a DQ anymore because Rick Steiner wouldn’t be able to have a match break 10 seconds if we did, and we have to drop stipulations that are made less than three days before the match. WCW is dying before our eyes and it’s kind of amazing to see in a morbid way.

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Monday Nitro #195
Date: July 5, 1999
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 25,338
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re back in WCW’s home town now for the go home show for Bash at the Beach. At the moment there are only a few matches announced for Sunday but that’s better than we’ve been getting lately. The main story continues to be Nash stealing Gorgeous George and Savage being a psycho. Well that and the youth movement being crushed like a bug. Let’s get to it.

Opening recap of last week’s events and Savage accidentally taking Torrie back instead of George on Thunder.

The announcers do their welcome.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

There’s a raised logo, presumably for Megadeth later or some stupid WCW thing, on the ramp and Chavo falls down on his way to the ring. Nice job WCW. Juvy mocks Chavo’s history with Pepe to start and gets the fans fired up. A shoulder drops Chavo and Juvy gives us a pelvic thrust. Juvy hammers away in the corner but gets dropped throat first across the ropes. Chavo follows up but takes a Stunner to put him across the ropes as well.

An early Juvy Driver attempt sends Chavo bailing as the announcers hype up Megadeth and Bret’s appearance for the third time already. On the floor now with Chavo taking over off a dropkick. Back in and we get the Gory Stretch into a Gory Bomb but Chavo drops an elbow instead of covering.

Guerrero goes up for the “I’m going to jump straight down so I can land on your raised boots” spot before they go into a pinfall reversal sequence, capped off by Juvy scoring a German suplex for two. A slam looks to set up the 450 but Chavo pops up to crotch him. Something like a sitout brainbuster plants Juvy but Sid and Savage come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. The match was fun while it lasted but Sid and Savage are almost a guarantee to bust up matches like this on Nitro anymore. Chavo is still one of the best cruiserweights without being over the top with his high flying. Juvy is starting to be insane and it works well for him when he gets it right.

Sid, wearing the World Title belt, powerbombs Juvy to set up the big elbow. The big man grabs the mic and says they want George back and won’t be held responsible for their actions. Nash and Torrie (looking as good as she ever has in WCW, which covers a lot of ground) pop up on screen. Kevin wants his belt back and thinks he should just beat up Sid tonight, but he’s been worn out this week. They banter a bit until George comes in wearing a Nash shirt, asking if she just heard Randy.

DJ Ran.

Gene brings out Ric Flair who comes out with his son. The boss takes the mic and says that since Scott Steiner has been running around the world, it’s time we have a new US Champion. That new champion will be….David Flair, due to him beating Nash by countout last week. Little Naitch comes out with a bunch of women who are all over the new champ. This brings out Buff Bagwell as balloons fall from the ceiling. Short version: Bagwell vs. Flair for the title tonight.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Vampiro

Rick yells about beating Van Hammer this coming Sunday. The champ hammers on Vampiro like the mindless brawler he is before hitting a hard German suplex. Vampiro’s kicks go nowhere as he gets dropped with a Steiner Line. The Steiner Bulldog sets up that weird arm hold Rick has been using to end this quick.

Lenny and Lodi come through some doors with Lodi giving Lenny new tights. Lenny isn’t sure that they’ll fit but Lodi says he knows ever inch of him. The doors close to reveal the word “closet”. GET IT?

Video on Bret Hart leaving due to Owen passing away. The last shot is of an empty ring.

Here’s Bret for his first public comments in months. He’s been told he has all the time he wants so he’s going to try not to rush. Bret thanks the wrestling fans on behalf of the entire Hart Family for all the well wishes they received. WCW has given him a chance to collect himself and he appreciates that. Owen wasn’t your average wrestler and he was a great human being. Bret doesn’t think there’s anyone that can say a bad thing about him. They were the closest of all his brothers and never had a single argument.

Eric Bischoff has asked him what he wants to do but Bret isn’t sure where he wants to go with his life. The Hart Family has lived and died for wrestling and there really isn’t much left for him to accomplish. All these great athletes are retiring in 1999 and they all seem so happy. He’s afraid that his career will end in a tragedy but he just doesn’t know. Bret thanks all of his fans everywhere and all of the wrestlers he’s worked with over the years. He hopes he wasn’t too stiff and that’s about it.

Eddie Guerrero comes up to Doug Dillinger and shouts in Spanish. After switching to English, he says someone has stolen his wallet. It was a masked wrestler and Eddie wants them all lined up so he can pick out the culprit. I don’t see this ending well.

DJ Ran.

The Cat vs. Jerry Flynn

This is a kickboxing match because WCW is a stupid promotion. We have a round system with Round 1 consisting of a lot of circling and some light kicks. The fans boo this out of the building as the round ends with nothing to talk about. Round 2 starts with Cat going down to the mat and receiving a warning. Flynn tries a big kick and falls flat on his back because this is a joke. Back up and Cat hits some kicks to the ribs to knock Jerry down before a big shot to the head results in a DQ for hitting a downed opponent. Seriously, that’s the whole thing.

Flynn tackles Cat and they brawl some more. This was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever had to sit through.

Lodi vs. Van Hammer

Hammer jumps him from the start and knocks Lodi all over the place. Some jumping clotheslines and a big boot send Lodi out to the floor, where he steals Heenan’s water. Lodi is sent into the barricade but Lenny low bridges Hammer down to change things up a bit. Back in and Lodi actually busts out a hurricanrana, only to try again and get dropped onto the top rop. A superplex brings Lenny in and the cobra clutch slam ends Lodi. Total squash for the sake of unfunny comedy.

Dillinger tries to get all of the luchadors together for a show up but there are some communication barriers. Cops come in and clear things up as this is going to continue.

Gene brings out Roddy Piper because this show hasn’t gone low enough yet. Roddy agrees that rap is crap but wants to talk to Sting. Here’s a clearly fake Sting who is about an inch taller than Okerlund. Piper asks him about working with Savage but Fake Sting shakes his head no. Now Piper wants to see his real face but gets another no, earning Fake Sting a neckbreaker. Piper takes the mask off and we barely see the guy’s face.

Moving on to Sunday, Piper wants a boxing match against Buff Bagwell. Why a boxing match you ask? Well we really don’t get a reason for that but we’ve had bad kickboxing so why not bad regular boxing? If that’s not enough, JJ Dillon brings in Judge Mills Lane (a former TV judge and big time boxing referee) to referee Sunday’s fight “In California in Florida!” Lane’s words, not mine. I know this sounds stupid, but it’s not like Piper has wrestled a match in years anyway so why not just let him do nothing but punch?

Nitro Girls.

DJ Ran.

Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan vs. Steven Regal/Fit Finlay

You know, for all the bad things that WCW did in 1999, they actually built up a nice tag division. Mysterio clarifies that HOOTY HOO is the call of the soldier. Apparently Regal and Finlay don’t approve of the soldiers and want to beat some peace into the rappers. Regal powerbombs Rey and catapults him into a clothesline from Finlay. There’s the rolling fireman’s carry as Rey is in early trouble.

The Europeans crank on a Mysterio leg each but the referee makes them break it up. Mysterio finally avoids a charge in the corner and makes the hot tag to Konnan to clean some house. Everything breaks down as Konnan does the usual, including throwing Rey into a Bronco Buster on Regal. Not that it matters as the West Texas Rednecks come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Finlay and Regal continue to work very well as foreign villains and they just look like they enjoy hurting people. The match was a way to have the Rednecks jump the soldiers and set up a match on Sunday. Who will be in that match hasn’t been announced yet but there are some combinations that could make for an interesting match.

US Title: David Flair vs. Buff Bagwell

David is defending in an angle that actually kind of works. Yeah he’s in over his head, but WCW acknowledging that he’s in over his head makes this a lot easier to sit through. Back when Erik Watts was thrown in over his head, they had to pretend he was good and it made things feel so stupid. At least here it’s making Ric look evil and corrupt and being played as an angle instead of reality.

Bagwell hammers away to start as you would expect, including planting David with a suplex. The champ finally hits a quick low blow to take over, only to run into an elbow and take the Blockbuster. Buff covers but Charles Robinson’s arm gives out. There’s a Figure Four on David but Ric and Arn come in. Buff beats them up too and puts the hold back on while small packaging Ric at the same time. Dean Malenko and Asya come in as well as this whole thing is a mess. Roddy runs out and nails Buff with something to give David the pin. Total mess but you had to expect that.

Time for Eddie to interrogate the luchadors. We have La Parka, Ciclope, Psychosis, Villano IV, a guy I don’t recognize, and Blitzkrieg. Everyone has to take their mask off but La Parka and Ciclope’s faces scare Eddie. He thinks Psychosis is a good looking guy. The guy I didn’t recognize is Cheetah Kid and apparently is Prince Iaukea under the mask. Blitzkrieg isn’t Hispanic and no one is happy with him. I’m assuming we’ll get more on this later.

The TV feed messes up and we have Hak and Chastity on a ladder. Hak was born in 1963 and started choking his doctor. He’s had to fight all his life and it’s all he knows how to do. Now he’s in WCW to get paid to fight. Hak lists off all the men he’s hurt and thinks there should be a junkyard hardcore invitational on Sunday because we can’t have hardcore matches in the arena anymore.

The rednecks come out and asks how many people here are good old boys, rednecks and people that just hate rap. They plays the song and that’s it.

Video on Savage and company.

Jersey Triad vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn

Benoit runs Kanyon over with a shoulder and snaps off the Rolling Germans before we go to an early break. Back with Saturn getting triple teamed but ducking a charging Page, sending Kanyon into his partner with a clothesline. Off to Benoit who cleans house with clotheslines and a dropkick for Bigelow. He heads up but Page crotches him down and stomps away in the corner before tagging out to Kanyon. A slingshot elbow gets two on Benoit and it’s back to Bigelow for a bearhug.

Benoit actually climbs up Bigelow into a sunset flip and avoids the big sitdown splash. A double tag brings in Saturn and Kanyon with Perry cleaning house as everything breaks down. Malenko tombstones Kanyon and avoids Bigelow’s top rope headbutt, setting up a top rope Saturn splash to Bigelow, followed by the Swan Dive for the pin.

Rating: C+. It didn’t have a ton of time but you knew these guys were going to have a good match if they were given more than eight seconds. They had to give the small guys a win to set up their Tag Team Title match on Sunday, even though I don’t think Malenko has anything for the pay per view.

And now, Megadeth performs Crush Em live. After five minutes of barely understandable lyrics, the band is booed out of the arena. The lights go out and Goldberg’s voice says I’M BACK! We see his silhouette and go to a commercial. I’ll give Megadeth’s performance this though: at least their drummer was making contact, unlike Barry Windham earlier.

WCW World Title: Sid vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is defending of course but Sid has the belt itself. Before the bell, Nash tells Savage to get rid of the girls if he ever wants to see Gorgeous George again. So it’s Nash vs. Sid for that In Your House main event the world was waiting for. They head into the corner for some elbows to the challenger’s jaw followed by a running clothesline. Sid bails to the floor but Savage runs in after about a minute. The referee doesn’t ring a bell though, leaving Nash to fight off both guys. Sid decks the referee to officially throw the thing out.

Nash fights them off until Fake Sting comes out to beat him down. Cue the real Sting for the real save but Nash powerbombs him, thinking it’s the Sting that attacked him. The champ goes up the aisle and says what’s left of George is in his dressing room. Savage runs to the back and finds Torrie with George.

He gets in George’s face, demanding to know if he touched her. Savage turns to Torrie and smacks her in the face. A screaming Torrie points out that George is wearing a Nash shirt so Savage rips it off her and throws her into a hallway (George: “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS???”) as the camera cuts off REALLY fast to end the show. I know I say a lot of stuff on these shows are horrible, but this was bordering on hard to sit through.

Overall Rating: D. Leaving out the disturbing ending, this was a horrible show. We’ve reached the point where WCW has gone from boring to stupid with stuff like Mills Lane refereeing a boxing match between Bagwell and Piper, two different music performances, Lenny and Lodi beating their story into your head and what felt like a comedy sketch about kickboxing. They’re on the verge of running scared at this point, but somehow this is easier to sit through than the shows from a month and a half ago.

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Thunder
Date: July 1, 1999
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

We’re into the second half of the year now and hopefully things are going to pick up. After Monday, we have Kevin Nash with Torrie and Gorgeous George and having beaten up eight or so men at once to close Nitro. However, Sting was seen behind the wheel of the Hummer to end the show, but Sting is a weird dude so it could mean a lot of things. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending of Nitro.

Megadeath will be performing Crush Em live on Nitro.

Bret Hart will be on Nitro for his first comments in months.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn jumps Kanyon on the floor before the bell as we hear about Savage and Sid leaving with the belt itself to close Nitro. Page tries to jump Saturn but gets caught in an overhead belly to belly. A Kanyon distraction sends everyone out to the floor and Saturn keeps his control. Back in and Saturn dropkicks knocks Kanyon off the apron, only to get knocked off the apron from behind. Kanyon gets in some cheap shots and things slow down again.

We take a break (and see part of the Crush Em video) and come back with absolutely nothing different. A powerslam plants Saturn but Page takes his sweet time following up. It’s off to an abdominal stretch with Kanyon helping in an old classic sequence. After a hiptoss breaks the hold, Saturn ducks the discus lariat and superkicks Page down for two.

Back up and a Batista Bomb gets the same on Saturn but he breaks up the Diamond Cutter, only to bump the referee at the same time. Kanyon comes in and wraps a title belt around the turnbuckle. Saturn goes after him but gets dropped onto the title, giving Page a very close two count. Cue Benoit for a Swan Dive on Page but Kanyon pulls the referee out at two for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Gah I was getting into that one before the ending. That’s pretty much the only thing they could do though as you want to keep both teams strong going into the title match at the PPV. It’s frustrating but I’d rather have them do this than have a challenger lose his momentum or a title made weak.

Benoit takes out Kanyon with a suicide dive but Bigelow comes out to make it 3-2. Benoit and Saturn get destroyed, which doesn’t bode well for their title match.

No Limit Solders vs. Disorderly Conduct

That would be B.A. (Brad Armstrong) and Swoll (picture an even bigger Ahmed Johnson with even less talent) vs. Mean Mike and Tough Tom. Swoll shoves Mike down with ease to start and we get some standard “I’m a big guy with huge muscles” offense including move shoves and slams for both Conducts. Off to Armstrong for a dropkick but Mike pokes him in the eye to take over.

That’s still not enough though as Armstrong dropkicks Tom and cranks on a headlock, only to be whipped into a knee from Mike to really change control. An ax handle to the back and a jawbreaker have Brad reeling and a neckbreaker is good for two. Disorderly Conduct starts some fast tags before Mike goes up and misses a knee drop. Swoll comes in off the hot tag and cleans more house as everything breaks down. Armstrong is whipped into Tom in the corner, setting up a palm strike to the chest to give Swoll the pin. Yeah the guy is about 6’6 and 340lbs and his finishing move is a palm strike.

Rating: D. Basic tag match here but I’m not sure how to feel for Armstrong. He was a talented guy but the only way he could get out there is to carry this guy due to the powers of nepotism (Swoll was Master P.’s cousin). On the other hand, it’s better than sitting at home and never getting on TV.

La Parka vs. Eddie Guerrero

The camera makes sure to get a shot of a guy in an LWO shirt. They’re actually trying for some continuity on this story and I’m digging it for a change. La Parka goes after him in the corner to start but Eddie is too quick for him. They send each other into the corner before Eddie tosses Parka out to the floor, following him out with a big dive. The announcers finally stop talking about Megadeath and Bret Hart for a second but the dive only has so much power.

La Parka is sent into various metal objects before going back inside. Eddie misses the slingshot hilo but nails La Parka in the back of the head before slingshotting onto him for two. We take a break and come back with La Parka firing off some hard kicks to Eddie’s back. He shouts into the camera that the LWO is dead, which I thought was a foregone conclusion. A chinlock goes nowhere so Eddie nails his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to send La Parka rolling to the floor, where he picks up the chair.

Eddie follows him out and takes a chair shot to the ribs, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind. Back in and we hit a variety of chinlocks and chokes, followed by a belly to belly to put Guerrero down. He’s not down enough for La Parka’s corkscrew moonsault though and the crash lets Eddie run to the top for the Frog Splash and the pin.

Rating: C+. Eddie has been on a roll since he got back and this was no exception. This is what was always fun about the cruiserweight division: even the second and third string guys were capable of having a good match when they were given the chance. It’s a nice little TV match and that’s more than you usually get out of this show.

Savage is freaking out when his phone rings. We cut to Kevin Nash on the other end, getting a massage. Savage wants Gorgeous George back so Nash tells him to go to 16^th and Norfield in 14 minutes and wait by the pay phones. The look on Savage’s face is priceless as he’s just stunned that this is happening.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

I Hate Rap video.

Silver King/Villano V/El Dandy/Damien vs. West Texas Rednecks

Barry quickly sends Silver King into the corner to start but misses a charge and eats a missile dropkick followed by a superkick. The Undoubtable El Dandy and Kendall come in with the less famous Windham hammering away and getting two off a backslide. Villano comes in with a clothesline to Kendall, sending him over to tag in Bobby.

Duncum takes a quick beating but it’s off to Damien vs. Hennig as the fast tags continue. Curt chops away in the corner and nails the knee lift. Damien tags Dandy back in for a jam up right hand to Hennig to take over. The luchadors start quadruple teaming Hennig until everything breaks down and Kendall grabs a bulldog on Damien for a pin.

Rating: C-. Not as bad as I was expecting here as they kept this moving. I’m glad they went with this formula too as there was no real need to have the Rednecks beat up a luchador for awhile or waste a lot of time in trouble when the ending is totally obvious. Nothing match but it could have been much worse.

Savage gets to the payphones and tries to figure out which one is ringing until he realizes it’s his own cell phone. Nash gives him a bunch of directions to tell Savage where to find him (two blocks down from Quick Pick in whatever city this is taking place in). Savage trying to remember all this is amusing.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Blitzkrieg

It’s a rare defense for Mysterio. We get the usual catchphrases from the No Limit Soldiers, including Armstrong in a bizarre moment. Feeling out process to start until Blitzkrieg runs into two boots in the corner and gets backdropped out to the apron. He misses a springboard spinwheel kick but catches Rey in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a near fall. A headscissors puts Blitzkrieg on the floor for a baseball slide, only to have him catch a diving Mysterio in a powerbomb on the floor.

We head back inside for some moonsaults and chinlocks from the challenger before Rey catches him in another tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (far too popular a move in this company). Blitzkrieg comes back with a clothesline but misses a springboard knee. Rey hits a kind of Stinger Splash in the corner but runs into a second clothesline. A dropkick knocks Blitzkrieg out of the air and the top rope hurricanrana retains the title.

Rating: C. This was back to the old “I do a spot then you do a spot then we both do a spot” formula that dominated the division for so long. It also furthers the idea that Blitzkrieg really wasn’t anything special in the ring and was much more flash than substance. Mysterio needs to drop the title already though as he’s completely outgrown the thing and it could be used to elevate someone else.

Savage’s Hummer pulls up on a street corner and Nash’s limo arrives a few seconds later. Nash gets out and talks about how sweet George is. Sid and Savage jump Nash until a clearly fake Sting breaks a ball bat over Nash’s back. Sid takes the girl in the back seat (clearly Torrie) and puts her in the Hummer as Nash is left laying.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell

We get the usual catchphrases from both until Steiner nails him in the back with a dog collar. They head outside with Rick piledriveing on the concrete and hot shotting him onto the barricade. Back in and Buff nails a dropkick and neckbreaker because being dropped head and throat first onto concrete and steel don’t have any real effect on him. Buff gets knocked to the floor as we take a break and get to see the rest of the Crush Em video. Yeah remember that from an hour and a half ago?

Back with the champ choking with his chain and then putting on a chinlock. Again, why do we even bother with referees in this company anymore? Rick punches him in the neck a few times and we’re right back to the chinlock. After a minute or so of that, we switch to a reverse chinlock to keep things fresh. Buff fights up after two arm drops but Rick stops the comeback after about eight seconds. He puts Bagwell on top but gets kicked away as Buff loads up the Blockbuster. Not that it matters though as David Flair comes out to tase Buff (again, WCW referees are WORTHLESS), giving Rick an easy pin.

Rating: D. Again, why in the world is Rick Steiner getting this kind of a push? He doesn’t do anything other than punches and hard rest holds but for some reason he’s spent months as the TV Champion. Speaking of Steiners as champions, has Scott been seen since he beat Buff at the PPV a few months back? Also, this drops Buff to 1-3 since he pinned Flair in the eight man tag, with the one win coming via DQ and being followed by a beatdown from Sid and Savage.

Savage opens the car door and finds Torrie because Nash is not only able to beat up eight guys at once and leave with the girls, but he’s SMART too!

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling, save for the main event which was barely wrestling, was tolerable here and it brings the show up a bit. The Nash and Savage stuff is straight out of a low budget movie, which could be a good or bad thing based on your taste. However, at the end of the day we’re looking at yet another horrible main event match at Bash at the Beach because no one EVER breaks into the main event around here. The old vs. new story looks to be dead at this point with the new generation shoved back down the card to where they have been forever now. At least Piper and Flair can draw though and that’s what matters.

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Monday Nitro #194
Date: June 28, 1999
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 16,210
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’ve got two shows left before Bash at the Beach and the big story tonight is Ric Flair having some sort of a big surprise for World Champion Kevin Nash. The last week of shows was better than the stuff they’ve been putting on lately, although that really doesn’t cover much. You never can tell what sort of nonsense you’re going to get on here so let’s get to it.

The Flairs arrive with the owner of the United CenterBruce McArthur. He offers to build a statue of David Flair bigger than the one of Michael Jordan.

Nitro Girls.

It’s Nash vs. Flair tonight. David Flair that is.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Fit Finlay/Steven Regal

Fallout from Thunder where Regal returned and yelled at Finlay and Dave Taylor, who is on the floor for this one. Regal rips on America before the match starts like a good villain should. Finlay cranks on the arm to start but Benoit takes his head off with a clothesline as we take a quick break. Back with Finlay sending Regal to the floor before dropping him throat first over the top rope.

Off to Regal as we hear about a dance off later in the show. He works on Saturn’s arm for a bit but walks into a belly to belly. Regal tags in Finlay for a sleeper, only to have Saturn counter into one of his own. Regal draws in Benoit like the old villain he is, allowing him to hit Saturn in the back with the British flag pole. We get a double tag and Benoit runs Regal over with clotheslines and a suplex sets up the Swan Dive. Finlay makes a save and Regal puts Saturn in the Regal Stretch, only to have Benoit make the save, setting up a Death Valley Driver for the pin on Regal.

Rating: C+. Would you expect these four to have anything bad? Regal is every bit as awesome as he used to be with the little heel mannerisms that you only get from a veteran. It’s nice to see Benoit and Saturn get a win to help set up their match at the Bash because they probably don’t have much of a chance there.

DJ Ran.

Van Hammer comes in to see the bosses and would like a title shot. His reward: a TV Title shot against Rick Steiner at the PPV.

Gene brings out the bosses minus Piper for some reason. Why Anderson has changed his clothes since the last segment isn’t really clear. Flair rips on the crowd with the old standard sports lines before Piper comes out and does exactly the same. Piper rips on Howard Stern in his weekly story that most people don’t care about. Apparently the power structure around here won’t let Ric be the World Champion again so David is going to do it in his place. The title match is happening tonight and it’s going to be a lumberjack match.

This brings Flair to Randy Savage, who he’d like to see out here right now. Savage, Sid and the girls come out and Flair wants them all to be lumberjacks. Ric sweetens the pot a bit by offering to reinstate the elbow. Little Naitch protests and is basically told to shut up. Savage rambles a lot before accepting.

Lodi teaches Lenny Lane to paint his nails. Lenny asks when WCW is going to find out about them but Lodi says they’re not the only ones. Lodi: “You got me babe and I got you.”

Lodi vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie pounds away to start but Lodi sends him into the referee in less than thirty seconds. Lenny comes in and gets dropkicked down as Eddie armdrags Lodi at the same time. A brainbuster plants Lodi and Eddie loads up the Frog Splash, only to have Lenny crawl on top of Lodi. That’s fine with Eddie who splashes Lenny’s back and pins Lodi. Uh….comedy?

Torrie, David and Piper are in the back and recruit the Triad to be lumberjacks.

DJ Ran.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Hak to ask if fans want to see him get extreme. Remember that Flair banned hardcore matches on Thunder a few weeks back. Hak wants Flair out here now but gets Bigelow instead.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Hak

Bigelow jumps Hak to start and splashes him in the corner, only to run into a boot. Hak clotheslines him out to the floor but his plancha is easily caught, allowing Bigelow to ram him into the post. Back in and Bigelow keeps using the fat man offense, only to miss the top rope headbutt. Not that it matters as Hak misses the swanton but comes back with a swinging DDT. Cue the rest of the Triad but Hak nails them with the stick and gives Bigelow the White Russian legsweep. Page comes in for the Diamond Cutter to give Bigelow the pin.

Rating: D. So now it takes three people to beat HAK? I’m not sure why they bothered to get rid of the hardcore matches as it leaves guys like him to try and work a regular match which just isn’t going to happen. He hit a nice DDT and that’s about the extent of wrestling Hak seems capable of doing. Why sign him if you’re going to take away the only thing people like seeing him do?

Here’s Nash with something to say. WCW still doesn’t want him as champion and his only friend is at home in Orlando. However, he’ll put up the title tonight with the stipulation that if he wins, he gets Torrie for 72 hours. He doesn’t need a week you see because after 72 hours with him, Torrie will be ruined.

DJ Ran again.

NWO vs. West Texas Rednecks

Sure why not. That would be Stevie/Vincent/Brian Adams/Horace. It’s Barry vs. Adams to start with Windham slapping him in the face. An armdrag sets up a DDT from Barry but Adams presses him into the air, only to have Barry slip out and roll him up for two. Off to Hennig vs. Stevie with the big man running over Curt and stomping away in the corner.

Kendall comes in and takes a clothesline before it’s off to Vincent for a stomping of his own. Off to Horace who is quickly caught in the Redneck corner. Hennig comes in for his running kneelift before Barry nails a top rope clothesline. Bobby kicks Horace in the face but Adams trips him up, allowing for the hot tag (?) to Vincent. Everything breaks down and a double bulldog to Vincent is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. Who books an eight man all heel tag match? The NWO hasn’t wrestled together in months and I have no idea why they’re even a thing anymore. The Rednecks are an interesting idea and the song is incredibly catchy, even though booking them as heels isn’t a good idea. It helps that we didn’t have to hear Master P. shouting like an idiot this week though.

Time for a dance contest between Disco Inferno and Ernest Miller. The Nitro Girls are the judges to try and make this not horrible. Scratch that as we’re going by fan applause, making the Girls pure eye candy. Miller says he could beat Jerry Flynn too, likely setting up a run in. Ernest does his usual routine, Disco does his usual routine, Miller jumps Disco and we’ve got a match.

The Cat vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is in trouble to start but makes a quick comeback with an atomic drop and dancing middle rope elbow. Cat comes back with chops and kicks before sending Disco outside for kicks from Sonny. Back in and Disco hits a Chartbuster out of nowhere but takes forever to cover, allowing Sonny to come in. That goes badly for Cat too as Sonny hits his man but slips him the red shoe. Miller knocks Disco sillier but Jerry Flynn runs out for the no contest.

Flynn wants a kickboxing match with Miller next week. We just spent five minutes setting up kickboxing with Jerry Flynn. This show is done.

DJ Ran.

Tag Team Titles: Buff Bagwell/Dean Malenko vs. Jersey Triad

Flair and company come out to the announcers’ table and announce Anderson as referee for the main event tonight because he’s still not over the NWO parody of his retirement. Bigelow starts on the floor as Malenko rolls up Page for some fast two counts. Off to Bagwell vs. Kanyon with Kanyon mocking Buff’s dance in a funny bit. Buff nails a quick atomic drop and a swinging neckbreaker before it’s back to Dean. Malenko sunset flips Kanyon but Page gets a blind tag and nails Dean to take over.

Bigelow comes in for a 3-1 beatdown with Kanyon hitting a middle rope legdrop for two. Page gets the same off a tilt-a-whirl slam and we take a break. Back with Page clotheslining Malenko for two, only to have Dean escape a tilt-a-whirl slam and make the hot tag to Buff. Bagwell cleans house on the legal Kanyon but Bigelow grabs his leg to break up the Blockbuster.

Bigelow and Kanyon take turns on Buff before it’s off to Page for an elbow drop. Buff crawls around the ring but finally grabs a sunset flip for two. Malenko tags himself in but the referee goes down quickly. Everything breaks down and Buff Blockbusters Kanyon, only to have Bigelow come in for the double Diamond Cutter to pin Dean.

Rating: C-. Take pretty much every Triad match so far and you have the same thing here. The young team gets beaten down again, the old guys rule the day and the fans are punched in the ribs again. That’s basically WCW in a nutshell at this point, as the young guys continue to look like nothing next to the veterans.

We get the world premiere of the I Hate Rap video. This is still awesome and Curt Hennig is still the only West Texas Redneck from Minnesota.

Sid Vicious vs. Scott Putski

I really don’t see this going well. Sid has Savage and all three girls with him and takes nearly two minutes to get to the ring. The bell rings and there’s no contact for over a minute. The girls get on the apron and the guys haven’t touched each other in the first ninety seconds. The girls keep rubbing Scott’s back from the apron until Sid FINALLY hits him after nearly two minutes.

In the span of another minute, Sid hits him about five times while the fans are very bored. A snapmare puts Putski down and the chant turns to Goldberg. The chokeslam plants Scott but Sid would rather walk around than cover. The powerbomb finally ends it after nearly five minutes.

Rating: F. If they were going out there and trying to tick the fans off, they’ve succeeded at something for the first time in months. This was a match that should have lasted thirty seconds but instead Sid stood around and yelled for minutes at a time after having the longest entrance this side of Undertaker. Why even bother with the match at this point?

Post match Savage and Sid say Nash is next and Randy drops an elbow on Putski. Somehow from the time Scott’s music hit to the time they went to a break was ten minutes long. Does that look like a ten minute segment to you?

Nitro Girls.

WCW World Title: David Flair vs. Kevin Nash

Lumberjack match with Arn Anderson as referee and Savage, Sid, the girls, Ric, Piper and the Triad around the ring. David even has one of his dad’s robes for a nice touch. The announcers already start talking about how Nash is up against the wall and the lumberjacks all come in to go after him. Nash is quickly down in the corner as David bails to the floor. Arn of course has something in his eye this whole time but gets it clean as David puts on the Figure Four for a two count.

Nash wakes up and hammers away as the beating is on in a hurry. He hits all the usual stuff as the lumberjacks come in again. Nash of course fights off ALL OF THEM and takes a taser away from David. The villains are shocked and Nash kidnaps Gorgeous George as Torrie leaves willingly with Nash.

The three of them go to the back towards Nash’s limo but see a Hummer. Sting’s face can be seen in the mirror and Nash sees him before leaving in the limo with the girls to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. So let’s look at the last half hour of this show. We have a ten minute Sid vs. Scott Putski match and Kevin Nash fighting off eight men and getting to leave with two gorgeous blondes. I’m sure the latter has nothing to do with him being the booker whatsoever. Over on Raw, Steve Austin was beating the Undertaker for the WWF Title in the highest rated match in the history of Monday Night Raw. This week felt like WCW was actively trying to lose and that isn’t a good sign as we head into the second half of the year.

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Monday Nitro #193
Date: June 21, 1999
Location: Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re in the Silv…..SUPERdome tonight with three weeks before Bash at the Beach. The main story is the old vs. new story kicking off last week with Bagwell pinning Flair in an eight man tag. Other than that it looks like we’re looking at Sid vs. Nash for the title at the PPV, which almost has to be better than Nash vs. Savage. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. Haven’t I suffered enough?

The Hummer shows up with Savage and entourage inside. Nash’s limo pulls up behind it and tries to find out who was driving but the Hummer gets away. So Sid wasn’t driving a few weeks ago?

Nitro Girls.

Master P. and some other rappers perform. These guys are so “bout it bout it” that they don’t even need microphones near their face to rap. This goes on WAY too long.

The announcers wonder about the Hummer.

Video on the music battle match from the Bash.

Lenny Lane is in the back and wondering what trunks to wear. Lodi comes in to give him a pep talk for his match with Meng later because Lenny can last a long time and has a lot of stamina. Lenny even gets a shoulder rub to warm him up. This is exactly what it sounds like.

DJ Ran.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

We start fast with Psychosis scoring with a shoulder and baseball slide to send Kidman out to the floor. Kidman slingshots back in with an ankle scissors and a great looking dropkick. A clothesline puts Psychosis on the floor for a HUGE dive to put both guys down. Back in with Kidman nailing a slingshot legdrop for two, only to have a superplex attempt countered into a super gordbuster.

They head outside again with Kidman going into the barricade, setting up a split legged moonsault out to the floor for a cool spot. Back in again with Kidman dropkicking the masked one out of the air, only to miss a charge. Psychosis puts him on top for a huge hurricanrana, only to try a powerbomb for some stupid reason. Kidman goes up for the Shooting Star….and Savage and Sid come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Nice opening match but the Savage Show must continue. Sid at least keeps Savage from needing the girls to do all the work for him to make Savage look a bit tougher. The match itself was entertaining but we’re running out of matches to see in the division. I still don’t get why Psychosis had to drop the belt back a week after winning the thing. Mysterio has defended it once since winning it nearly two months ago so why give it to him?

Sid cleans house until Sting comes out for the save. Nash follows him out but has a question for Sting: why didn’t he attack Savage and Sid? And why did he get out of a black Hummer last week to go after Rick Steiner? Sting denies driving the Hummer a few weeks ago, but Nash says he wasn’t accusing him. Nash even calls Sting Franchise Boy. There’s a Shane Douglas joke in there somewhere.

Piper and Flair make Savage/Sid vs. Sting/Nash for Bash at the Beach and Sting vs. Sid for tonight.

Clips of Piper and Flair teaming up.

Meng vs. Lenny Lane

The fans shout various homophobic terms at Lane. Lenny’s headlock is easily broken up and a headbutt works as well as you would expect. He tries going up top but gets Tongan Death Gripped down to the mat for a fast pin.

Lodi helps Lane to the back.

Nitro Girls.

More on who was driving the Hummer. No one knows if that wasn’t clear.

Here are Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers, complete with Brad Armstrong in fatigues. Master P. wants to sing Happy Birthday to his brother and asks a fan to come in to sing the song for him. We get a guy in a big black afro wig to sing Happy Birthday as the fans are just dying. Cue Curt Hennig in a Dallas Stars jersey with a present for P.’s brother. Hennig opens the gift and pulls out a cowboy hat. The brother throws it down and stomps on it, a brawl starts and cake is thrown.

You know, out of all the stupid stuff WCW did over the years, this might be the worst thought out feud ever. To begin with, Master P. allegedly cost hundreds of thousands of dollars per appearance, which usually lasted all of three minutes. Then he and his friends run around shouting HOODY HOO and sounding like a bunch of morons. But remember, they’re the good guys in this story.

The bad guys are the ring technicians who wear cowboy hats and gave what appeared to be a nice gift to Master P.’s brother. Keep in mind that WCW has weekly NASCAR updates on Thunder, but we’re supposed to boo the cowboys. This feud has been a disaster since the beginning and makes the least sense of anything I’ve seen in a long time.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Juventud Guerrera

Can we just keep this match on for the next two hours or so? This is Eddie’s in ring return after about six months off due to injury. A slap annoys Juvy and Guerrero stomps away to take over. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Juvy but he comes back with a hurricanrana for two. Eddie takes over again with a belly to back suplex and they head outside. After whipping Juvy into the barricade they head back inside for a sleeper from Eddie as we take a break.

Back with Juvy in an abdominal stretch but crawling over Eddie into a sunset flip for two. Eddie starts going after the legs before nailing a brainbuster for two. We hit the sleeper again until Guerrera counters with a belly to back suplex of his own. Juvy pulls Eddie down by the hair and nails a missile dropkick to send Eddie outside. A big suicide dive drops Guerrero and a springboard spinwheel kick does the same back inside. Eddie easily escapes the Juvy Driver though and grabs a neckbreaker, only to pick Guerrera up and spin him around before dropping him again. The Frog Splash is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. Yep Eddie still has it. He looked as polished as he has in years here and had a good comeback match minus a lot of the character stuff he had going before the injury. Eddie looks like a guy that is ready to step up to the next level, but I can’t imagine that’s going to happen in this company.

Prince Iaukea vs. The Cat

We get the usual dancing and five seconds thing before Iaukea dropkicks Cat out to the floor. They slug it out on the floor with Iaukea going into the barricade before it heads back inside. Iaukea nails an enziguri and Samoan drop for two, only to have Sonny slip the shoe on Miller’s foot. A big kick to the head is enough to end Prince and thankfully get us out of here quickly.

Booker T. vs. Kanyon

Kanyon has a Tag Team Title with him. Booker gets one of the biggest pops I’ve ever heard him get. At least the fans can recognize talent. We get things going with Mr. T. armdragging him down and scoring with an awesome looking dropkick for two. The big forearm and a clothesline sends Kanyon to the floor and us to a break. Back with Kanyon running from Booker on the floor before coming back in to duck a sidekick and botch what looks like a Gory Stretch with Booker falling off his shoulder.

A neckbreaker and legdrop get two on Booker but he they head outside with Kanyon taking over again. Back in again and a surfboard has Booker in trouble but as usual, the hold doesn’t last long. Some suplexes and a slingshot elbow get two for Kanyon. Booker fights up with his usual and hits some kicks, only to have Page and Bigelow come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Again, good stuff for the most part until someone ran in for the DQ. That being said, Booker fighting off the forces of the Triad could be interesting and could be a boost for him, as long as he doesn’t just get back together with Stevie Ray to reform a tag team that stopped meaning anything about two years ago.

Something like a 3D on the title belt leaves Booker laying.

Gene brings out Piper and Flair, with entourage of course, for a chat. Piper uses the usual cheap lines about sports teams and mentions Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Flair says Buff is a beggar and that he was with Bagwell’s girlfriend last night. Buff comes out, gets beaten down and the brawl is on. Actually make that a match according to Flair. Good thing he and Piper just happened to be in their wrestling gear.

Buff Bagwell vs. Roddy Piper/Ric Flair

Flair tells Bagwell to make the same sounds his girlfriend made last night. The old guys hammer away on Bagwell and throw him out to the floor, only to have Anderson get nailed in the face. Buff comes back in with a sunset flip for two and nails all three guys. He slaps a Figure Four on Flair but Piper makes a fast save. Some atomic drops have Piper reeling but he comes back with that double ear clap. Piper puts on the sleeper and the crowd just dies. That was almost disturbing.

Bagwell fights up and hits Piper low before slamming Flair off the top. Off to Ric who ducks a dropkick and tries the Figure Four but gets rolled up for two. Piper comes back in as Malenko tries to come in but gets stopped by Mickie Jay. Dean is allowed to be Buff’s partner as Bagwell clotheslines Flair down and makes the hot tag to Malenko. Roddy breaks up a quick Cloverleaf attempt so Dean slaps it on Arn instead. The Blockbuster knocks Flair out but Piper hits Buff with brass knuckles and puts Flair on top for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well so much for Buff’s momentum. By momentum I mean winning one match after losing every big match he’s had for months of course but that’s a major push in WCW if you’re under 38 years old. Piper continues to drag down any match he’s in as his offense would have looked outdated in 1978.

Nitro Girls.

Tag Team Titles: Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Why would Kanyon work twice tonight when Bigelow is in their corner? Page takes Mysterio into the corner to start but takes a standing Lionsault and a dropkick to knock him into the ropes. Off to Konnan for the rolling clothesline but he walks into a jawbreaker. Kanyon comes in but walks into a drop toehold, setting up a springboard legdrop from Mysterio. For some reason Rey dives onto Bigelow, earning him a whip into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Mysterio headscissoring Page down, setting up a double tag to Kanyon and Konnan. Everything breaks down with Konnan cleaning house and throwing Mysterio into a Bronco Buster on Page. Kanyon comes back with a legdrop between Konnan’s legs as Bigelow gets in as well. Things settle down with Page hooking a front facelock on Konnan. Back to Kanyon who misses a moonsault, allowing for the real hot tag to Mysterio for a springboard seated senton to Page. Rey dives onto Bigelow again but with better results this time. Everything breaks down again but the cowboys come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Yet another DQ to mess up what could have been a decent match. Konnan and Mysterio have nice chemistry together and putting them up against three guys at once is a good way to make them look like underdogs. Mysterio diving on Bigelow over and over again made him look stupid though and slowed things down.

Benoit, Saturn and the No Limit Soldiers run in for the save to try and validate the latter’s pay.

Sting vs. Sid Vicious

They stand around for a bit before Sting avoids a charge in the corner. Cue Savage and the girls to trip Sting and give Sid early control. Sting makes a quick comeback with a bulldog and kick to the face but Savage offers another distraction to let Sid choke away. Some kicks to Sting’s head and ribs have him in trouble but Sid stops to yell at the camera. Another boot misses and Sting hits the Splash, drawing in Savage for the DQ.

Rating: F. This match headlined a show in 1989 and it’s headlining another show in 1999. Is that really all WCW can come up with? And a DQ finish to make sure neither guy has to look bad? The fact that it’s the fourth DQ on the show doesn’t help either, as it makes things all the more frustrating. This was barely a match.

Luger comes in for the save and a long staredown and insults wrap things up. Sting: “WE’VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU!” A crotch chop ends the show. Seriously.

Overall Rating: D. I’m not sure how to describe this show. It was better than the recent weeks due to less stupid stuff going on but the in ring stuff was even more frustrating. Half of the matches ended via DQ, two ended with foreign objects to the head, and one of the clean wins lasted all of ninety seconds. This show has almost completely stopped being about wrestling and is now about every old, over the hill wrestler they can dig up. The old vs. new stuff was still around but it’s clear that the story is taking a backseat to the other old guys. Speaking of which, where did Nash disappear to? He was just gone after half an hour.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #192
Date: June 14, 1999
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re past the Great American Bash and there is no way things can get any worse than the got last night. I mean I do not believe it’s possible for a promotion to get less interesting and worse than things have been for the last five weeks or so. The main story seems to be Nash vs. Savage/Sid, which should be more interesting due to Sid being totally nuts and semi-mobile. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package of recap stills from last night.

Savage, Sid and the girls arrive.

DJ Ran babbles about the cowboys vs. rappers last night.

Brian Adams/Vincent vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

Adams runs Hennig over with a hard shoulder to start so Curt tries a headlock. That’s fine with Brian who sends him crotch first into the post, causing Hennig to slowly crawl over for a tag. Windham runs Vincent over with a Vader standing clothesline but takes too much time going up, allowing Vincent to actually slam him down.

Back to Curt for some shots to the back and the Hennig neck snap, followed by a belly to back suplex from Barry. Vincent gets dropped by what was supposed to be a double clothesline, but it needs to actually connect to be a clothesline. Vincent comes back with some clotheslines of his own to Barry and we get a hot tag to Brian. Did the Black and White turn face and I wasn’t told? Brian cleans house for a bit until Barry plants him with a DDT. Duncum pulls Adams to the floor and a cowbell shot to the head is enough to pin Vincent.

Rating: D+. When did the Black and White actually get energy in their legs? Granted the match wasn’t anything special but what do you expect from these four? Hennig and Windham can be good when they’re motivated, but that’s a very rare thing to see anymore. I do like them making it more of a stable than just a team but it’s going to get better.

Here’s a press conference from earlier today where Master P. signed with WCW. This is exactly what you would expect, including Master P. using a run on sentence that goes on for about 45 seconds. Mysterio, Konnan and Bischoff have some appreciative lines as well. The fact that this goes to commercial while P. is still talking tells you everything you need to know.

Here are Savage and the girls with something to say. Savage says he’s the boss and last night was crowned the uncrowned World Champion. He talks about how awesome the girls are and has George gyrate a bit in a demonstration of how Nash looked after the elbow, complete with a cover and pin. Savage rambles about being vicious from here on out and says the Wolfpack sucks. This went WAY too long and made Savage sound even crazier than normal.

Nitro Girls.

Pictures of the dogs from last night. Please, anything else.

Hugh Morrus vs. Kidman

Well this is indeed something else. Morrus pounds him down in the corner to start and spins Kidman inside out with a few clotheslines. A running splash in the corner has Kidman reeling but he finally hooks a headscissors to get a breather. Morrus gets dropkicked out to the floor but he catches Kidman’s plancha. Kidman is rammed back first into the post and Jimmy slides in a chair. A distraction lets Morrus drop Kidman ribs first on the top of the chair but Kidman counters a powerbomb and hits the Shooting Star for the pin. At least hold your ribs dude.

Rating: D. Is that really the end of the Morrus attacks the cruiserweights stuff? They had that mess of a battle royal a few weeks back and this is the best they can do? Like I said, Kidman just popped up and finished the match without even holding his ribs. I expect that from Morrus but not Kidman.

DJ Ran.

Here are Flair and Anderson with something to say. Ric threatens to make the eternally present fat boy’s mom go WOO. He’s here tonight to offer Roddy Piper the Vice Presidency so here’s Piper with a full pipe and drums band. Piper accepts the job and talks about how great the old days were with Flair.

This brings out Dean Malenko who says that if someone was waking up from a fifteen year coma and turned on this show, they wouldn’t think anything had changed. Good line. Other greats have passed the torch but Flair wants to hold it forever. That’s not cool with guys like Dean so he’s going to take the torch no matter who likes it.

Anderson says Dean needs to cool it or instead of being a Horseman, he’ll be one of their victims. Arn stands at Flair’s side but Piper gets in Dean’s face. The brawl is on and we see Benoit and Saturn coming to the ring, only to get jumped by the Jersey boys. Bagwell comes out but gets beaten down as well.

Let’s stop for a few seconds here and look at how stupid this is. The young guys are perfectly fine here as everything they said and did made sense. That brings us to Piper, who has spent the last month and a half trying to get Flair’s power and even had him committed to a mental hospital, but now he’s perfectly fine with being Vice President, basically giving him the exact same authority he’s had for over a year now as Commissioner? Isn’t he still Commissioner and in theory second in power?

Unless I’m missing something, Piper has the same power he had before but is now clearly under Flair and has stopped fighting because he and Flair used to be buddies fifteen years ago. If there’s one thing Piper has never been over the years, it’s someone who falls in line and gives up a fight. This is so totally out of character for him and makes the last month and a half totally worthless. Things like these are the ones that make this such a frustrating era for WCW.

Bischoff joins commentary.

Video on Norton vs. Miller

Cat vs. Scott Norton

Why this didn’t happen last night isn’t clear. Miller puts on the red shoes for a dance before the match. Norton charges to the ring with a growl and hammers on Miller to start fast. Cat bails to the floor but gets sent face first into the post and then the barricade. Some chops have Miller in even more trouble before they head back inside. Sonny offers a distraction so Miller can hit a low blow. He loads up the red shoe but the referee goes down because we’re not overbooked enough yet. A superkick to the face with a red shoe is enough to pin Norton.

Rating: D. Miller becoming the dancer is a bit more interesting than just being a karate guy but it doesn’t make stuff like this any easier to sit through. These two have feuded for weeks now and I’m really not sure why they’re even fighting at this point. Is it over who is tougher? It’s really taken three or four matches to answer that?

Nitro Girls.

Disco Inferno vs. Van Hammer

Hammer powers him down to start with a slam and a clothesline, followed by the enhanced Vader model clothesline. Disco comes back with some shots to the back and a great looking clothesline, only to get caught in the Flashback (Alabama Slam). Hammer stays on him with some basic power stuff before putting on a sleeper. This is stupid given that Disco’s finisher is a jawbreaker, which is exactly what he uses to get out.

It’s not the finishing jawbreaker though so Disco has to avoid a charge in the corner and then screw up a neckbreaker. He somehow swung the wrong way. The guy has like four moves and he screwed one of them up? Really? The Last Dance is broken up and we actually get a ref bump in this match. Now the neckbreaker connects but the referee counts a slow two. Hammer grabs a belly to back suplex and a handful of tights for the pin.

Rating: F. We really needed all that in Disco Inferno vs. Van Hammer and Disco managed to screw up a swinging neckbreaker? Why are we seeing so many heel vs. heel matches on this show anyway? Come to think of it, there really aren’t that many faces on the roster, or at least not many worth much. But cool heels are the same as faces right?

Disco Stuns the referee post match.

Dennis Rodman might be coming back. Good grief does he have to?

Stills of the Tag Team Title match.

Fit Finlay vs. Brian Knobs

The fight starts on the floor with Finlay getting dropped throat first on the barricade. Knobs sends him into the steps and they head inside for the first time. Finlay comes back with a hard clothesline, only to have his shoulder go into the post. The nasty one stays in control with his boring offense before charging into the corner. Of course Finlay can’t get in any further offense as he charges into a powerslam. Finlay avoids a splash and stomps away before getting two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Cue Hak for a kendo stick to Knobs’ head, giving Finlay the quick pin.

Rating: D. Well, at least it was short. The problem here is an old one in wrestling: with no title or anything to fight for, these are just one off matches that don’t lead anywhere and don’t change anything. One guy beats another then a third guy wins and then it’s back to the first loser. They’re running in circles and it got old after about ten seconds.

We cut to the crowd and Sable of all people is in the front row.

Here’s Nash for his variety of catchphrases. He’s not out here for Savage though. Instead he wants to talk to Sid face to face. Sid pops up on screen for some jibber jabbering and the vague mention of maybe a title match down the line.

Recap of Flair vs. Piper from last night. Buff was going to get the ball if Piper won, then he cost Piper the match. What does that say about Bagwell?

DJ Ran.

Ric Flair/Roddy Piper/Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Saturn/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Buff Bagwell

That’s quite the tag match. The old guys run away to start until we get down to Flair vs. Benoit. We get the required chop off until Benoit backdrops him into the heel corner. Off to Page who has to be saved from a Crossface attempt. Piper comes in and gets his wish to face Bagwell, only to get punched out to the floor a few seconds later. An atomic drop to Piper sends us to a break.

Back with Benoit escaping a belly to back suplex and rolling up Flair for two. We get the pinfall reversal sequence with Benoit coming out on the bad end of it. Flair tries the Figure Four but gets rolled up again, only to have Benoit nail him with an enziguri and put him in the Figure Four instead. Everyone comes in and the good guys put on Figure Fours in a cool spot (Malenko screwed up at first). Bigelow makes the save with a legdrop though and it’s off to Kanyon to work on Chris. A middle rope Fameasser drops Benoit and Kanyon brings in Page as the heels have him in trouble.

Flair comes back in for chops before it’s back to Kanyon, who sends Benoit into the discus lariat from Page. Piper gets the tag for his lame punches before it’s back to Page for a stomping. We get the required missed tag to Saturn, allowing the Jersey boys to suplex Benoit down. Page goes up for the middle rope jump that is clearly designed to jump into a raised boot and nothing else, allowing for the hot tag to Bagwell. Everything breaks down until it’s only Malenko and Flair left in the ring. Ric knocks him out to the floor but turns around and takes the Blockbuster for the surprise pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here with the young guys FINALLY getting a big win. However, this brings up the important question: how can Flair possibly come back from this devastating loss to a fluke move from a former champion that has been rising up the card for years? I mean, clearly such a loss completely cripples Flair’s career and ends any potential he’s ever going to have right?

Nitro Girls.

Hak vs. Rick Steiner

No TV belt again this week but Rick does use a collar to nail Hak upside the head. Some chair shots send Hak up the aisle and Steiner takes him backstage. They hit each other with various metal objects before moving on to a big SUV. Rick takes him to the top of the car and rams Hak head first onto the hood. Hak staggers around and falls over a motorcycle, freaking Bischoff out all over again.

Barely able to stand, Hak finds what looks to be a piece of a car engine and chokes Rick with it, only to get choked right back. They fight over to the Hummer from last week (yet we still don’t know who drove it?) and Hak is knocked through the roof. The door opens and it’s STING inside. A few ball bat shots drop Rick and Sting throws him through the side ofM an RV which just happened to be there. I’m assuming the match has been thrown out at this point.

They come back to ringside so Sting can beat on him with the bat some more. Sting: “What’s black and brown and looks good on Sting? A doberman! What’s black and white and looks good on Steiner? STING!” The beating continues until Sting picks Steiner up on his shoulder and carries him to the back.

DJ Ran.

Psychosis/La Parka vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

The No Limit Soldiers and Master P. are out in full force. Mysterio and Psychosis get things going with Rey climbing onto his shoulders and crawling downing into a sunset flip for two. Psychosis gets sent out to the floor and it’s off to Konnan vs. La Parka with Konnan actually climbing the corner for a Sin Cara armdrag. A headscissors puts Psychosis down and Rey nails a springboard legdrop to La Parka.

Back in and Psychosis gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over and La Parka adds a kick to the head of the head. Konnan slips by him and makes a tag off to Rey, setting up a double dive to the outside. Back in and Konnan beats up both guys with ease before stereo headscissors get stereo pins on Psychosis and La Parka.

Rating: D. This was pretty messy as I could barely keep track of who was legal for most of the match. Psychosis and La Parka were mostly there as pinballs to bounce around the ring and never be in any real trouble. The Master P. schilling from Bischoff is going to get old in a hurry but at least he was a fairly big name back then.

The Soldiers come in to celebrate but we hear Rap Is Crap as Hennig and Windham have taken over DJ Ran’s booth. Finally they do something worthwhile. The rap guys storm the booth and P. shouts HOODY WHO or whatever it is and the fans are just silent. A rap song is played and that’s about it.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is defending of course. Savage and the girls come out and there’s no Sid. Randy says everyone knows he pinned Nash last night and wants another shot right now. Nash says come get your belt so Savage says he’s the Unified World Champion. He gets in and we have a bell, so I guess this is a new match.

WCW World Title: Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash

Nash hammers away in the corner until George comes in for a distraction so Savage can hit him low. Miss Madness’ dropkick hits Savage by mistake and here’s Sid as well. The beatdown is on and the match is quickly thrown out.

Sid and Savage destroy Nash until Sting finally comes out for the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was another lame show and the Piper stuff is stupid but that eight man was a nice glimmer of hope. Unlike the paranoid guys in the main event, Flair is at least smart enough to know that he can lose one match and then cut a good promo to make people hate him all over again and get his heat right back. If we can get Piper off screen and let Sid and Nash have their watch big man matches (they have to be better than Savage vs. Nash), things could actually be tolerable around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Great American Bash 1999
Date: June 13, 1999
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,672
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

To say this show doesn’t sound thrilling is an understatement. We’ve spent weeks getting ready for Nash vs. Savage with antics ranging from makeup to human waste to attempted murder. Other than that we have Rick Steiner no selling against Sting for the TV Title and more of the mess that is the Tag Team Title scene. Let’s get to it.

Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers arrive. Curt Hennig pops up and says how much he loves him and asks how much he loves him. P. signs a CD for him (which one of his guys just had in his pocket) and Hennig breaks it. The Soldiers all start jumping up and down and shoulding what sounds like “Hoody who” in high pitched voices. This is a southern promotion for a show in a southern city and they expect Hennig to be booed here?

The opening recap video shows us a stupid Savage vs. Nash feud.

Tony and the announcers explain who Master P. is and call him the biggest entertainer of our time. We hear about the main event as well.

We recap most of the matches on the card. Well at least it cuts into the main event time. They even go back and cover the hardcore match twice.

Hak vs. Brian Knobs

I sit corrected: this is a kendo stick match and Knobs is officially part of the First Family. So why did he say he had to think about it? Tony calls this a kendo stick hardcore match because they can’t even keep their stupid gimmicks straight through a single entrance. Brian has promised Mrs. Nasty a birthday win today so let’s get rid of the sticks and have a real hardcore match. So in the span of 90 seconds we’ve gone from kendo stick to kendo stick hardcore to hardcore. I know it doesn’t matter but it sounds like WCW has no idea what they’re doing.

Brian wants to throw away the weapons but Jimmy throws him a trashcan for a cheap shot. Knobs hits him in the head with a trashcan lid and there’s the Pit Stop. Hak stops a charge with two boots to the face and blasts Knobs with the trashcan. It’s ladder time but Knobs comes back with a trashcan shot of his own. He gets decked by the ladder though and Hak hits a slingshot….something onto the ladder onto Knobs.

Hak gets thrown into the ladder in the corner and a few more ladder shots put him down. The advantage only lasts a few seconds as you would expect but Hak’s Swanton only hits ladder. Jimmy holds up a chair but Hak sends him face first into the steel, setting up a kendo stick shot for the pin.

Rating: F. We waited thirteen minutes for the matches to start and this is the best they can give us? The only positive about this is the match wasn’t even six minutes long, which is way better than the usual lengths that we have to sit through. It’s still bad though and I’m tired of seeing these disasters.

Hugh Morrus comes out and helps beat down Knobs.

Piper is in the back when Buff comes up to thank him for giving him the ball. He has a big match tonight (against Disco Inferno) and promises to have Piper’s back tonight against Flair. Buff leaves and Piper mutters about stupid kids. Lines like that defeat the purpose of Piper as the mentor to the young guys. He should be thrilled with where the future is going instead of being annoyed with them for saying they’ll have his back. Also, is a match with Disco Inferno “getting the ball” when you had a US Title match last month?

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Van Hammer

Bonus match. Mikey gets shoved down a few times but comes back with some armdrags. Hammer chokes him to take over and drives a knee into Mikey’s ribs. A middle rope slam sends Mikey flying as the fans think this is boring. Hammer gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and a legdrop before we hit the abdominal stretch. Nick Patrick finally catches him holding the ropes so Hammer throws Mikey to the floor. Mikey goes throat first over the barricade but he comes back with a legdrop to the back of the head and a plancha. Back in and Hammer catches him in a spinebuster, setting up a cobra clutch slam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Somehow that was eight and a half minutes long. To recap, we can’t get Booker T. on this show but there’s time for Mikey Whipwreck vs. Van Hammer. Mikey is one of those hires that never made sense. He won like two matches in his six months with the company, even though WCW knew he was banged up when they got him. Eh whatever you can do to screw with ECW I guess.

Disco Inferno vs. Buff Bagwell

In case you didn’t get enough of it on Nitro I guess. They start fast for a change by trading kicks to the ribs until Disco grabs a neckbreaker to send him outside. Back in and Buff kicks him in the ribs a few times, setting up a swinging neckbreaker of his own. Buff cranks on an armbar and starts a DISCO SUCKS chant. An early Blockbuster attempt sends Disco running to the floor and Buff says it was that close.

Back in and Bagwell flips him off (some hero) so Disco nails him with a Stun Gun to take over. Disco chokes on the ropes so Tony congratulates all the recent high school graduates in the country. Ok then. More slow stomping in the corner from Inferno followed by a dancing middle rope elbow for two. Disco goes up for the same spot but Buff moves (that might have been some miscommunication as Tony made a big deal about Bagwell not moving the first time) and starts his comeback.

Some right hands look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff takes too long and gets crotched. They head outside and Disco hits the Last Dance, only to take too long dancing to allow Bagwell to beat the count. Back in and the Macarena Driver (exactly what it sounds like) is countered with a backdrop. Buff hits some really basic stuff and goes up for the Blockbuster. Disco ducks away but Bagwell doesn’t bite and hits the Blockbuster for the pin. Nice little callback there.

Rating: D+. Of all the guys that WCW never pulled the trigger on, Bagwell might surprise me more than anyone else. He was young (29 here), an eight year veteran, had a great look and a good finisher, yet he never won a singles title in WCW. That’s not even factoring in the whole broken neck story. He’s a good example of a guy that could have been something but instead we’re stuck with the Steiners as the midcard champions and Nash vs. Savage for the World Title. Bagwell never would have carried the company or anything, but there’s no reason he couldn’t have gotten the US or TV Titles a few times.

We recap the battle of the musics. Again, WCW was stupid enough to think that the country boys would be the heels in this story.

DJ Ran wastes our time and brings in Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers.

Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan

Tenay actually picks rap. We also get the debut of Rap Is Crap as the cowboys’ theme song. I have no idea why A, Mysterio is Cruiserweight Champion is he never defends the thing and B, why he and Konnan come out wearing gas masks. Tenay tries and fails at getting me to care about Master P. The rappers jump Hennig for talking trash about Master P. and the cowboys are quickly dispatched. P. gets in a cheap shot to the back of Curt’s head because that’s what good guys down.

We get down to an actual match with Mysterio dropkicking Hennig to the floor and nailing a plancha but diving into a backbreaker from Duncum. A big powerbomb plants Rey again and Hennig slams him down as well. Rey takes the Bret Hart chest bump into the corner and the cowboys keep things slow. The referee misses the hot tag to Konnan and takes him to the floor, allowing Bobby to send Mysterio hard into the barricade.

Back in and Curt hits a perfect dropkick to Rey’s jaw and spits at Konnan to draw him in. Bobby crotches him against the post and Rey is in big trouble. Hennig does a Rude hip swivel and it’s quickly back to Duncum. Rey crawls through the legs and tags Konnan which the referee sees but “he didn’t see it” so it doesn’t count.

Hennig gets two off a suplex but Rey moonsaults over him and scores with a dropkick. Now the hot tag brings in Konnan as everything breaks down. There’s the Bronco Buster to Curt and he fights with Konnan on the floor. Cue Barry Windham to nail Konnan but Master P.’s bodyguard Swoll jumps the barricade and nails Duncum, setting up a slingshot legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was pretty dull and the ending was messier than it needed to be. The idea doesn’t work either as the country boys are far more popular with WCW’s fan base but we’re supposed to cheer for rappers who jump up and down and shout HOODY WHO for some reason. But hey, at least Master P. is on the show right?

The cowboys destroy the rappers post match.

The announcers talk about what we just saw and we look at a replay of it to waste even more time.

Cat vs. Scott Norton

Sonny has a briefcase with him. Actually scratch Norton as Horace comes out to complain about getting hit with the crowbar on Thursday. Time for a replacement.

Cat vs. Horace Hogan

Horace says Miller couldn’t even beat himself and the fight is on. Cat gets beaten down in the corner and choked with a boot before they head outside. That goes nowhere so Miller kicks him in the face back inside. Miller slams him down and throws Horace outside for some kicks from Sonny. Back in and Horace hits a slam of his own and drops an elbow for two. A splash gets two more but Sonny gets up on the apron for a distraction. Horace sees through it and backdrops Miller to the floor. In the confusion, Miller gets his sparkly red shoe from the briefcase and kicks Horace senseless for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh come on man I already had to sit through this on Thunder. Isn’t that enough for WCW? I knew things were going to get bad around this time but no one told me I was going to have to sit through this match twice in four days. Miller needs to turn face soon and Horace needs to turn to another career.

We recap Piper vs. Flair. Piper is old, Flair is crazy (actually just more evil than anything else) and they’re fighting for control of the company.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

Flair has Asya and Arn with him. They trade chops to start and Piper takes over with some lefts to the face. We get a delayed Flair Flop and Ric begs off in the corner. The slowest backslide this side of the last Piper match gets two and Flair gets punched to the floor. Back in and Piper bites Flair’s nose, followed by even more of his weird punches. Ric finally gets in a low blow to get a breather and things slow down even more. Anderson gets in a shot on the floor and Asya adds a rake of the eyes.

There’s another low blow from Flair but a sunset flip sends his trunks down as usual. Ric gets slammed off the top and Piper nails Anderson for bad measure. I can’t say there’s anything good, even a measure, in this match. Back in and Roddy puts on a sleeper but Flair quickly breaks it. Anderson trips up Roddy so Flair can nail Piper with a foreign object. Piper is up at two but there’s the Figure Four. Bagwell comes out to break up Anderson’s interference and goes in, drawing the DQ.

Rating: F. Gah. Seriously just gah. This was another mess with Flair having to work down to Piper’s level and Piper just being awful. I have no idea why WCW insists on keeping Piper out there when the fans don’t care and the stories go on and on. Piper and Flair had a great feud seventeen years ago. We really don’t need to see it again here and this match is good proof of why.

Post match Piper nails Bagwell, making this whole feud TOTALLY POINTLESS. Bagwell gets whipped with a belt for good measure. So yeah, Piper is in league with Flair and Anderson, presumably for daring to challenge the status quo.

DJ Ran. Again.

We recap Sting vs. Rick Steiner who are fighting…..actually I have no idea why they’re fighting. My best guess is Goldberg is out making a movie though.

Sting vs. Rick Steiner

This is hardcore and non-title for no apparent reason. Sting scores with an early clothesline and they head outside to start brawling. That’s a bit too boring though so they head inside where Rick nails some forearms to the back. A pair of atomic drops don’t have much effect on Steiner and they head outside again. Tony says there must be a winner.

Steiner hits Sting with a chair and then a beer. Sting comes back but the Stinger Splash hits the barricade. A piledriver on the exposed concrete gets two and somehow doesn’t break Sting’s neck. Back in and Rick gets two more off a release German suplex, followed by the chinlock. Rick cannonballs down onto Sting’s back and gets two off an elbow drop. Sting finally gets his knees up to crotch Rick and some Vader Bombs actually keep him down.

The top rope splash connects for two and Sting is all fired up. He nails the Stinger Splash and puts on the Deathlock but Rick crawls under the ropes. They fight to the internet location and into the back where Tank Abbot is waiting…..with two dobermans and a rottweiler who attack Sting. They take Sting down as security runs in like a bad shot from an action movie. Rick is declared the winner as the fans just rip this apart.

Rating: F-. Three dogs. Three dogs. THREE DOGS. Next. Please.

The Steiners say Rick pinned Sting off camera because WCW was too scared to air it. They own WCW, Baltimore sucks, etc.

We recap the Triad against Saturn/Benoit. The easiest version: Kanyon was in league with the Jersey boys the whole time but Benoit and Saturn beat Kanyon and Page for the titles on Thunder.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Saturn vs. Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page

The announcers are joking about pyro after Sting WAS NEARLY MAULED BY DOGS. That’s a long running problem with commentators: they have the attention span of drunken gnats. Someone must get in their ear as they start talking about how terrifying a moment it was but assure us that Sting was dragged away from the dogs. Benoit runs Kanyon over to start and Page isn’t pleased. The champs clear the ring with clotheslines and Benoit stands…..well not very tall actually.

It’s off to Page vs. Saturn with DDP taking a few slams. Everything breaks down again and the champions easily dispatch the Jersey boys. That’s not enough for them though as they go outside to beat up Bigelow before snapping off overhead belly to bellies on Page and Kanyon. Bigelow trips Benoit to the floor and sends him into the barricade to get the first advantage. Kanyon gets two off a middle rope Fameasser and Benoit is in trouble. Back to Page whose powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip but Benoit gets kicked right back down.

The helicopter bomb gets two on Benoit and it’s back to Kanyon, but he misses a moonsault. The hot tag brings in Saturn for a frog splash on Page. Saturn hammers on Page in the corner but Kanyon takes him down with an electric chair faceplant for two. Things settle back down with the challengers hitting a nice sequence into a Russian legsweep from Kanyon and an elbow drop from Page. Saturn grabs a sunset flip but Kanyon tags out on the way down and holds Saturn’s head so Page can come in off the top for the save.

Back to Kanyon for a front facelock into a swinging neckbreaker. A sitout Dominator from Kanyon gives Page two but he misses a charge into the corner. It’s finally enough for the second hot tag to bring in Benoit for some much needed house cleaning. Kanyon takes the Rolling Germans for two but Page makes the save.

We get the old school dragon suplex for a VERY close two and Benoit hits the Swan Dive, only to have Saturn dive into the Diamond Cutter. Cue Dean Malenko to try and help Saturn back in but the distraction lets Bigelow come in to lift Benoit up for a super Diamond Cutter. Kanyon’s unconscious body is put on top for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. I’m so glad they gave us that three day reign before the Triad got the belts back. As usual the (mostly) old guys get the win and the titles while the (mostly) young generation is laid out. In theory this sets up a six man at least which should be good, but knowing WCW it leads to Benoit, Saturn and Malenko jobbing for months.

Dean gets laid out too.

We recap Savage vs. Nash. Savage wanted a title shot so he put lipstick on Nash’s face, called him a stupid person and tried to have him crushed with a Hummer. Don’t you see the logical progression of events?

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Randy Savage

Nash is defending and powers Savage into the corner to start, showing absolutely no injuries from being crushed by a Hummer six days earlier. Wait scratch that as he winces a bit after a clothesline in the corner. The impact is kind of lost though when he picks Savage up for a side slam three seconds later.

Randy starts going after the ribs and knocks Nash to the floor so the girls can get in shots of their own. Back in and Savage drops the big elbow for two. Nash comes back with Snake Eyes followed by a big boot and the strap comes down. The girls all interfere and get dispatched but SID VICIOUS runs in and attacks Nash for the DQ.

Rating: F. The main event of a pay per view didn’t even make it seven and a half minutes. Actually that’s a bit better than the alternative of watching these two fight any longer as it’s clear that Savage has nothing left in the ring. Sid interfering was a big surprise as he hadn’t been seen in a major wrestling company (unless you count ECW) since 1997. Nash not selling the ribs for the opening part of the match brought it down but you can’t expect Nash to sell and toss his hair at the same time.

Overall Rating: F. If I’ve ever seen a less interesting or worse show, I can’t recall it off the top of my head. There was one good match, three matches that should have been on Nitro or Thunder (one of which was) and Sting being attacked by dogs. Say that out loud and see if you think it’s stupid. Couple that with the horrible main event and there isn’t much to feel good about.

The problem here is much more than the wrestling being bad. This show died because there’s nothing interesting going on. Nothing on here makes me want to tune in to see what’s coming. It’s all the old guys dominating and the young guys getting beaten down. In theory that should set up a good story, but I have no faith in WCW to pull that off. Hogan’s return looms over everything too and that might make things even worse. I’m not sure how, but it could. This was one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen and I didn’t see much hope.

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Thunder
Date: June 10, 1999
Location: Onecenter, Syracuse, New York
Commentators: Larry Zbyezko, Mike Tenay

It’s finally the go home show for Great American Bash and things are really falling apart around here. We have Randy Savage trying to kill Nash, Piper not being able to shut up, the old vs. new feud still not being able to get started, and random lucha libre hardcore tag team matches blowing the doors off the place. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about Nash (and the still unmentioned cameramen) nearly getting killed on Nitro.

Savage and the girls are in the limo and Randy thinks he sees Nash. He jumps out and beats up a tall guy but it’s Brian Adams. Savage yells at Adams for not being Kevin Nash and Adams isn’t sure what to say.

Video on Rick Steiner vs. Sting. Their match is officially falls count anywhere.

Video on Nash vs. Savage.

Gene brings out Buff Bagwell for a chat. Apparently it’s Buff vs. Disco on Sunday, which is Piper’s way of giving Buff the ball. Bagwell actually thinks for a change and points out how worthless the match is since he already beat Disco on Monday. This brings out Ernest Miller who says he should be getting the ball. Buff says they didn’t give the Cat the ball because he would fumble it. Gene and Sonny Onoo get into it as Buff and Miller make a match for later tonight.

Psychosis/Villano V vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

As Rey and Konnan make their way to the ring, Tenay says Bigelow and Page are still Tag Team Champions as per Ric Flair’s orders. Rey and Psychosis get things going but the masked man has to yell at the fans first. Mysterio finally grabs a headlock but gets shoved away and slapped in the face. They’re firmly in first gear at the moment. Mysterio hiptosses him over but telegraphs a monkey flip and gets caught with a legdrop. Psychosis charges into a boot in the corner and Rey slides between his legs for the hot tag off to Konnan. Everything breaks down and Psychosis takes a Bronco Buster.

We settle back down and Villano crotches Rey on the top rope, setting up a spinwheel kick to the back of the head from Psychosis for two. Mysterio fights both guys off again and makes the second hot tag to Konnan. Everything breaks down again and Rey hurricanranas Psychosis down. Konnan and Psychosis botch the heck out of the X-Factor as Konnan jumped but Psychosis went straight down for an ugly looking crash. Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana for the pin on Psychosis.

Rating: D+. Not terrible but the botch at the end dragged it down and the stalling at the beginning didn’t make things much better. Rey and Konnan had decent chemistry together and made for a good team, even though they’re stuck in a feud with Hennig and Duncum, who aren’t the most interesting guys in the world right now.

Hennig/Duncum vs. Konnan/Mysterio is official for Sunday.

Gene brings out Page and Kanyon for a chat. Page and Okerlund get in an argument over wrestling tradition in Syracuse. Gene doesn’t need to worry about where Bigelow is because any two members of the Jersey Triad can defend the belts whenever they like. Page mentions Flair returning the belts to them and the official rematch is on Sunday. Kanyon: “I got something to say! WHAT HE SAID!” Just setting up another match on Sunday and letting the crowd know what’s going on.

Savage and the girls run into Adams and says they’ll be having a match later. Another segment that didn’t need to air.

We recap Savage and Nash from Monday.

Buff Bagwell vs. The Cat

Disco gets on commentary to complain about Bagwell. Miller hammers and kicks away to start before slamming him down for no cover. Instead he loads up a People’s Elbow but drops a palm strike instead. Buff comes back with the usual generic offense until his ten punches in the corner are broken up by a low blow. Miller chokes a lot and sends Bagwell to the floor so Sonny can do the same.

Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Buff elbows his way up, only to have his eyes raked to put him back down. Miller misses a chop and takes a few atomic drops, followed by Scotty Riggs’ forearm. Come on Buff quit messing with his heart. Sonny slips in the crowbar but Buff takes it away and uses it on Sonny’s ribs, somehow drawing a DQ.

Rating: D. We need to get to the point where Miller almost never wrestles and just talks. Either that or get rid of Sonny Onoo so he can’t bore everyone to death anymore. The ending is another good example of how the DQ is a stupid way to finish a match. Bagwell is supposed to be getting a push, but he can’t isn’t allowed to pin ERNEST MILLER?

Post match Norton runs in and lays out Miller as Disco hits the Last Dance on Buff.

Here are Saturn and Benoit for a chat. Benoit used to have the utmost respect for Flair but now that’s once upon a time. He’s going to get his payback and Flair better be ready. Saturn says they don’t have to like each other but they’ll get the job done. So I guess Raven isn’t a factor anymore? Malenko is seen watching from behind them but leaves when Gene mentions him.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Brian Adams vs. Randy Savage

Savage says this is just a warmup for Sunday, so Adams tells the girls that he’ll show them who the real macho man is a little bit later. Feeling out process to start until the girls offer a distraction to let Savage get in the first shot. Adams comes right back with a backbreaker and some chops before a clothesline puts him outside.

Madusa fires in a kick to the ribs for a distraction as Savage sends him into the steps. Savage walks around the ring for a bit until Adams gorilla presses him onto the barricade. Back in and Savage gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Madusa comes in. This isn’t a DQ for some reason so Adams gorilla presses her, only to get clipped. Vince tries to interfere so Savage hits the banned elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. Adams’ look of mild annoyance when he was down on the floor told you everything you needed to know here. Savage just does not care at this point and can’t do much besides punches, chokes and the occasional top rope elbow. Naturally Flair banned the move to make Savage even more one dimensional of a wrestler.

The Black and White hits the ring but Savage and the girls easily dispatch them.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Rick Steiner

Rick does his catchphrase to Sting and for some reason the word bite is censored. This could be interesting as Finlay can be just as stiff as Stiner. Finlay starts fast with a pair of atomic drops but Rick doesn’t sell. Shocking indeed. Rick nails his namesake line and chokes a lot before taking it outside for a whip into the barricade. Finlay is sent into the steps and hit low before they go back inside.

The champ gets punched in the face and put in a front facelock until he fights out with knees and right hands. He slaps the referee because Steiner is kind of a jerk and then suplexes Finlay for two. A belly to back suplex puts Rick down and the rolling fireman’s carry gets two. They head back outside with Steiner pulling back the mats for a bulldog on the concrete. This time it’s Finlay’s turn to no sell as he puts Rick in a fireman’s carry and drops him throat first on the barricade. Back in and Rick nails a quick German suplex followed by the top rope bulldog and his arm hold for the submission.

Rating: D+. I’ll give is some points for how hard they were hitting each other but the match was pretty boring otherwise. It’s nice to see someone beat up Steiner like he does to everyone else but you know Rick is getting the huge push no matter how sick people get of him. Somehow this is one of the better Thunder matches in awhile.

Ad for the PPV.

Kevin Nash calls in and says he’s banged up but he’ll be in Baltimore on Sunday. The rumor has been that Scott Hall was driving the Hummer but he hasn’t been able to confirm it. He also wants the elbow drop reinstated so Savage will have no excuses.

Kanyon vs. Perry Saturn

Kanyon bails as Saturn gets in like a true heel should. They circle each other for a bit with Kanyon hiding in the ropes over and over. A right hand sends Kanyon running to the floor but he slides back in as Saturn dives at him. They trade places again and this time Saturn nails the dive before choking with a cable cord. Saturn takes him up the ramp and suplexes him down before sending him face first into the Thunder logo.

After choking gets boring, Saturn just throws Kanyon down to the floor but Kanyon lands on his feet. They get back in the ring where Kanyon gets in a few shots, only to get nailed in the face. More punching ensues with a suplex thrown in for good measure. Kanyon finally crotches him to get a breather and we hit a chinlock. A neckbreaker gets two on Saturn as the announcers WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT SAVAGE AND NASH. Kanyon gets two more off a slingshot elbow and they trade some rollups as the fans chant boring. Seriously? The match isn’t great but you let Savage and Adams get by?

Kanyon scores with a powerbomb and a legdrop between the legs for two more. Saturn pops back up with a superkick and a middle rope cross body for two of his own. An overhead belly to belly sends Kanyon flying and Saturn drops a frog splash but can’t cover. We take a late break and come back with Saturn fighting out of a sleeper. Not that it matters as Page comes in and nails Saturn for the DQ. There were maybe thirty seconds after the break.

Rating: C. The fans need some lessons in interesting wrestling. It’s not a great match but Kanyon jumping over the ropes and Saturn throwing him all over the place are more than enough to make this a decent match. While not shocking, the ending hurts it a good deal as I’d like to see a finish, but for some reason that’s rarely allowed.

Saturn gets double teamed until Benoit comes out. He takes a beating too so the referee makes a Tag Team Title match RIGHT NOW.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon

Fans are throwing garbage into the ring, including a big tub of popcorn and a bottle of beer. Kanyon grabs the beer for a drink as Page hits a Batista Bomb for two on Saturn. A double suplex gets two and it’s Flatliner time, but Saturn drops to his knees and comes up with a t-bone suplex. The hot tag brings in the Canadian to beat up some Jersey boys, including a great looking release German suplex on Kanyon. Malenko and Anderson come out and yell at each other as Benoit grabs the Crossface on Page. Kanyon makes a save but gets slammed and Swan Dove for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted but the match wasn’t even four minutes long. Of course that’s assuming Flair doesn’t overturn it again or that the titles don’t go back to the Jersey boys on Sunday. Either way, it’s nice for a match to end with a pinfall instead of the far too common DQ.

Overall Rating: D. We’ve reached the point where this is a decent show by WCW standards. I’m really hoping things change after Sunday because this is about as dull and uninteresting of a month as I can remember in a long time. The matches and frequent DQ’s are getting worse and worse, which actually makes me hope Russo’s time is at least more interesting. Yes, I’m looking forward to Russo. That’s how far I’ve fallen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #191
Date: June 7, 1999
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash which hopefully means we’re finally getting some new main stories instead of the drek we’ve been sitting through so far. The big old vs. new story needs to get going and hopefully we can get there after this coming Sunday. Or at least to something other than Nash vs. Savage. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Savage and the girls getting out of a white limo. He opens the trunk and gets out a bucket full of some very unpleasant looking stuff. Savage is looking for Nash of course.

Hak vs. Prince Iaukea

Just what I always wanted. Hak smoking a cigarette freaks Tony out. JJ comes out and says they can’t have a match until the cigarette is out. That gets him smoke in the face so Bischoff gets off commentary and gets in the ring. Bischoff gets the same treatment as Dillon so he calls off security and smacks Hak himself as the bell rings. Bischoff says let the match start and the Prince hammers away for one.

A Samoan drop is broken up by a fire extinguisher blast from Chastity and it’s table time. Eric: “Hak can’t throw two punches before he gets winded!” Hak puts Prince on the table for a Swanton but the table doesn’t break. He whips Iaukea into the table in the corner but it STILL doesn’t break so he just covers for the pin.

Morrus and Knobs come in for the beatdown on Hak but Kidman makes the save and goes after Hak until Morrus stomps Kidman down. Brian beats Hak with the stick and everyone brawls around the arena. What a waste of nine minutes.

Nitro Girls.

We look at the septic tank stuff from last week.

DJ Ran.

Bischoff: “The guy under the hood’s initials are VM.” This was the night of the Higher Power reveal. This would be more historic if anyone was watching Nitro at this point.

Master P. might be here later.

Lenny Lane vs. Scotty Riggs

Bischoff spends the intros mocking Sable’s lawsuit against the WWF. I’d be shocked if 2% of the audience had any idea what he’s talking about. Riggs gets annoyed at Lane trying to use his mirror and jumps him, allowing Eric to babble about Paul Orndorff using a mirror. Eric: “Be original.” Lane comes back with right hands in the corner and drops Riggs with a bulldog as Lodi comes down the aisle. Riggs gets taken down by an airplane spin, but it makes Lane so dizzy that he does the Sting fall onto the crotch. Dang it WCW you have to tell me when I’m watching a comedy match.

A hot shot gives Riggs control and he throws Lenny out at Lodi’s feet. Back in and Riggs drives a knee into Lane’s ribs before slapping on a chinlock. Riggs stops to look at the mirror and gets rolled up for two but avoids a dropkick to keep himself in control. He ducks an enziguri but gets caught in a reverse powerbomb of all things for two. I’ve always thought that would be an awesome looking move. Not that it matters as Riggs comes right back with a Fameasser for the pin.

Rating: D+. Scotty Riggs is not interesting, no matter how many times WCW tries to push him on their shows. The narcissistic gimmick has taken him about as far as it can, which should tell you everything you need to know. As for Lenny and Lodi, I know what’s coming, and it’s one of those things that we need to just get through as fast as possible.

Flair is in the back, trying to convince Benoit to be a Horseman again. He’s ready to pass the torch to Chris but Benoit isn’t sure. Flair talks about the feud he and Anderson had a few years back (wasn’t that faked?) and Benoit says he’ll think about it. Saturn comes in and says he and Kanyon want their rematch tonight, but Flair says he was going to give himself and Benoit the shot at the titles. Benoit reluctantly agrees and hugs Flair.

Here are Savage and the girls with the bucket. We’ll ignore his bright pink feathery coat. Savage knows Nash isn’t in the building tonight and issues an open challenge to anyone that is man enough to face him. This brings out Sting who says he’s back in black even though Savage is pretty in pink. The match is on for later, even though Sting says Savage is on Viagra. Savage: “NOW YOU’RE GONNA GET IT!” I really don’t want to see that if I can avoid it.

Nitro Girls

Septic truck stuff again.

Here’s Kevin Nash wheeling a bag to the ring. He says Savage isn’t here yet because he can’t smell Macho yet, if you know what he’s spewing. His gear is in the bag (now sitting in a chair) and he’s heard Savage saying he doesn’t like looking ridiculous, but he still comes out here looking like he does. Fair point actually. If Savage wants him, come get him.

Cue Savage with the bucket and the girls. He says he has a present for Nash because no one has ever treated him like that last week. Savage wants Nash to admit that he’s a monkey who made a mistake and isn’t on his level. Nash: “I only brought one bag down and you brought three.”

Nash bails to the floor and says if Savage wants him, put down the bucket. Macho complies but Nash wants the girls to hold open the ropes. Now he asks Savage to get on his knees and beg, which Savage kind of does. With Savage’s back to the ring, the bag starts to move. A girl gets out of the bag and empties the bucket over Savage’s head. It’s a stupid segment, but well done on the surprise with the bag.

Tag Team Titles: Diamond Dallas Page/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Ric Flair/Chris Benoit

The Jersey boys are defending and Anderson comes out with the challengers. Page and Benoit slug it out to start with the Canadian getting the better of it. He slugs Bigelow to the floor and dives through the ropes to take him down as well. Back in and Flair hammers on Bigelow as well with Benoit snapping Page into the Crossface but it’s right next to the ropes. Off to Flair for the Figure Four and he’s able to avoid a headbutt from Bigelow at the same time.

Everything breaks down with the Horsemen chopping everyone in sight. There’s a low blow to Page and it’s off to Benoit. Page rolls over and tags Bigelow who comes in with some falling headbutts for two. A big suplex gets two on Benoit and Page draws in Flair, allowing the champs to double team. They start going after the knee as Bischoff lists off why he hates Flair and Page. Flair comes in without a tag and slugs it out in the corner with Page but gets dropped with a low blow.

Things settle back down and Page rubs Benoit’s face in the mat. Off to a front facelock as things slow down a bit. Benoit lifts Page up three times in a row but can’t drive him to the corner. A fourth time gets him even closer but Bigelow comes in to block the tag. Bam Bam misses the top rope headbutt and Benoit crawls over…..as Flair walks out. Well of course he does.

Anderson is livid so he takes his shirt off and gets on the apron as a replacement. Bigelow has Benoit in a reverse chinlock as Saturn runs out to get on the apron, kind of making this a handicap match. Benoit dives over and tags in Saturn as house is cleaned. The Death Valley Driver to Page out of nowhere gives Benoit and Saturn the titles.

Rating: C. Of course it’s not going to stand because Benoit and Saturn are young and over but it was a nice moment while it lasted. The match was all about the run-in finish and Flair turning on Benoit after turning towards him about an hour earlier. I can’t stand those kind of stories as they could be stretched out to build up the drama for weeks and instead they do it this fast. Almost every company does it and it gets old fast.

Kanyon runs out post match and nails Saturn with a Flatliner, setting up a three on two beatdown.

DJ Ran.

Ciclope/Damien vs. La Parka/Silver King

Bischoff is off commentary. This is a hardcore match for no apparent reason. It’s a brawl to start with Silver King kicking a chair into Damien’s face. Ciclope nails King with a trashcan and whips La Parka into it for good measure. There’s another can brought in and wrapped around La Parka’s head for Poetry In Motion from Damien. La Parka bails to the floor but gets caught with a baseball slide with a chair to knock him silly. Not that it matters as he picks up a chair and nails a diving Ciclope in the head with the same chair in an awesome visual.

Damien dropkicks La Parka off the chair and goes outside, only to have to throw the chair at a diving Silver King. La Parka puts Damien in the chair and takes him down with another suicide dive before Silver King throws a trashcan out of the ring and over Ciclope’s head. He follows it up with an Asai Moonsault to take everyone out in a cool spot. Damien takes La Parka back inside and takes a chair to the head followed by a trashcan lid for a bonus.

La Parka sets up a chair and tries a superplex on Damien, but has to settle for just throwing him face first onto the chair for two. Ciclope NAILS La Parka with a trashcan lid to break up a top rope hurricanrana attempt, swinging so hard that it flies to the announcers’ table and into Schiavone’s hands.

Ciclope gets backdropped to the floor as Damien is setting up a table. It doesn’t last long though as Silver King tornado DDTs Ciclope through the table for another big crash. Damien’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb through another table for two. Tony: “He kicked out!” Heenan: “WHY???” La Parka sets up two chairs and powerbombs Damien onto them (with the chairs not giving an inch) for the pin.

Rating: B. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM??? This was an outstanding brawl with all four guys hitting each other as hard as they could for some awesome bumps and spots. It’s a seven minute match that had me wanting to see more, even though I’m not a fan of most of the guys involved. I have no idea where this came from or why it wasn’t done more often, but it’s worth checking out. Really good stuff.

More DJ Ran as he talks some trash about Hennig.

Norton yells at the Black and White for his loss last week. They don’t have much to say in response.

Here’s the Cat for another of his open challenges. Miller is in full on James Brown mode now, which is a big upgrade for him and his lame karate character. He brags about shaking up the world until he finally gets an opponent.

Cat vs. Horace Hogan

Horace jumps him from behind but Miller comes back with kicks and dancing. A running clothesline in the corner has Cat in trouble again but an Onoo distraction lets him get in a crowbar shot for the pin.

Cat runs from the Black and White post match.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Roddy Piper with something to say. He sucks up to the Cleveland fans and thinks it’s time we stir things up, which he’ll do by winning control of the company back on Sunday. Unless I missed it, that’s the first time that stipulation has been mentioned. Piper has been hearing a lot of the young kids in the back saying they should be in the main event. Well he’s tired of all the complaining and wants Buff Bagwell out here right now.

Piper asks how many years Bagwell has been wrestling (eight) and if Buff has ever wrestled in Madison Square Garden. Buff says he hasn’t, so Piper calls him Buffy. Bagwell says it’s not 1975 anymore and his name is Buff. He’d do anything to get to the top, so Piper offers him a match with Flair. They shake hands and that’s that.

We go to the parking lot where the girls are in the limo. They try to get Nash to join them for a night on the town. He reluctantly agrees and gets in….as Savage is revealed as the driver. A white Hummer crushes the car. It rams the car a few more times and leaves as we see Nash’s arm sticking out of the window and falling. That’s a nice callback to Nash’s tremendous role in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II of course. We never saw who was driving the Hummer.

Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Why exactly is Rey Cruiserweight Champion again? Mysterio comes out in a gas mask for no apparent reason. Konnan and Hennig are both on commentary though Konnan is at DJ Ran’s booth instead of ringside. Oh this is going to be a long match. Rey gets right in Duncum’s….well chest but it’s as close as he can get. Bobby slams him out of the corner to take over but Rey comes back by just nailing him in the face over and over.

A springboard moonsault gets two and a headscissors sends Bobby out to the floor. Thankfully he’s down long enough for Rey to stop and tie his shoe. Back in and Rey misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in a shoulder breaker for two. Mysterio slips out of a second attempt and dropkicks Duncum into the corner for the Bronco Buster. Rey is in control but Hennig just gets up and nails him for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t have enough time to go anywhere and the ending was stupid. It didn’t help that Konnan was only on commentary so he couldn’t stop Hennig from interfering, which makes the decision all the stranger. This culture clash feud isn’t bad, but the rappers need a better talker. Or at least one that doesn’t make me want to saw off my ears with a cheese grater.

Tony and Heenan talk seriously about Nash getting crushed. The cameramen in the limo aren’t mentioned even though they’re probably dead too.

DJ Ran AGAIN.

The Steiners come out, say catchphrases, imply that Luger is gone, and say they’re at the top of the food chain. Somehow this takes five minutes.

Recap of the girl in the bag. You really can’t talk about a comedy segment after THREE PEOPLE JUST GOT KILLED IN A CAR CRASH.

Here’s Disco to complain about Bagwell. Buff had the chance to look Piper in the eye and say what he really thought of him but Bagwell didn’t go through with it. “No wonder you got thrown out of the Wolfpac.” Actually didn’t he get thrown out for saying what he really thought of Steiner? Anyway, if Buff is really a man, he’ll come out here right now for a match. Buff comes out and says at least he was in the Wolfpac. You know it’s on now.

Buff Bagwell vs. Disco Inferno

Disco jumps him from behind to start but Bagwell fights back with his wide array of punches, clotheslines and slams. A big slam lets Buff pose but Disco nails a running knee lift of his own, followed by a middle rope elbow for two. We come back from a break with Buff fighting out of a chinlock. He gets dropped with a clothesline but this time avoids the middle rope elbow. Buff makes another comeback and they trade swinging neckbreakers, only to have Buff slam him down and hit the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as they try yet again to rebuild Buff. Granted this would be a bit easier if he hadn’t lost in his big showdown with Steiner, but we can’t have something crazy like a Steiner losing a match now can we? Disco is an interesting choice for a soldier in the young man army, but I’m not sure how far he can go.

Nitro Girls.

Randy Savage vs. Sting

Sting charges to the ring and Savage runs off. George jumps on Sting’s back to give Savage a shot and Macho hammers away in the corner to start. They head outside with Sting being dropped throat first across the barricade, allowing Madusa to get in a few kicks. Back in and Savage hammers away even more as he still has his sunglasses on.

More choking and punching ensues before it’s back to the floor to continue the brawling. Sting goes into the barricade again before heading back inside for some powder to his face. Madusa distracts the referee but Miss Madness gets shoved off the top. Savage piledrives the referee as this mess is thrown out.

Rating: F. Sting did not get in a single bit of offense, Savage did nothing but brawl and throw powder, and the girls had too much offense again. The main event scene is getting worse all the time, and somehow we have Savage vs. Nash coming up to keep things as low as they can be.

Sting makes his comeback after having no offense during the match. He stomps on Savage in the corner but Rick Steiner comes out to beat Sting down. Scott Steiner comes out with a belt shot to the face but Luger makes the save with the ball bat to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Some of the wrestling was better tonight, but the stories have gone off a cliff. Stuff like Tank Abbott attacking Sting, Goldberg in general, Piper being fired, Bischoff somehow having authority again and other stuff I’m sure I’ve forgotten are either dropped of just gone with sans explanation. On top of that there’s the old vs. new story, which has been talked about for weeks but somehow hasn’t been started yet. Maybe they’re waiting for the Bash or the night after, but could we get some actual action on it instead of just people saying they’re frustrated?

It’s like this company is being run by different people week to week and no one has told the other what we’re supposed to be seeing. The ideas are the same in general, but no one has ever gone over any details. Either that or no one has any idea how to pace a story. Look at Nash vs. Savage for example. They went from Savage putting makeup on Nash to Nash covering Savage with the stuff in the bucket to ATTEMPTED MURDER in the span of a week. All of this is setting up a match on Sunday where Nash likely won’t even sell these injuries.

Then there’s Bischoff, who can’t shut up long enough to let any points get across. It’s like he’s sitting there trying to riff on the show but no one is getting half the jokes he’s saying. If he wants to make amends, why is he spending two hours a week ripping on most of the talent? The jokes are going over fans’ heads of just confusing them, given how Bischoff doesn’t seem to be on any side. Other than the non-smokers’ side I guess. Bad show here, but check out that hardcore tag match.

 

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Time for one of the most successful tag teams of all time: the Outsiders.

Other than a few house show matches in the WWF, the Outsiders never teamed together until their time in WCW. We’ll start with one of the most famous moments of all time at Bash at the Beach 1996.

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/???

In case you don’t remember, the WCW guys were selected by putting the names of the top 6 WCW wrestlers based on win/loss record over the past I think six months or a year in a hat and drawing them out. The others were Hogan, Taskmaster and Giant. Hall and Nash come out alone and don’t have names yet. Tony gives them their names here. Until then they were just the Outsiders.

I’m not one for six man main events but this feels huge. Partially because it is huge. Gene goes into the ring before the WCW guys are here to find out who the third man is or for that matter where he is. The build for the drama here is epic. They’re milking this for everything they can.

The commentators aren’t even trying to stay unbiased which for once is nice. Even Randy Anderson is taller than Gene. Buffer is almost as tall as Scott Hall. Wow I didn’t realize that. The bell rings and we actually start with a handicap match.

The paranoia of the announcers actually upgrade this, marking the final time the WCW commentators don’t make me want a stiff drink in the history of WCW. Luger and Hall start. Now we get to the interesting part about a minute in. It turns into a big brawl and Nash and Luger are in the corner. Sting launches a Stinger Splash and nails Nash.

He also nails Luger, whose head and neck are rammed into the turnbuckle/bar attaching the turnbuckle to the ring. He’s OUT. They bring out a stretcher to carry him to the back and we have a 2-2 match with the third man on the way out. Now this does a few things. First of all, it makes the Outsiders look like they have a chance. Being realistic, there was no three man combination in the world that could have beaten Sting, Luger and Savage at this point and looked dominant.

That’s a WCW All-Star team to put it mildly and it would have been a waste of time to try. By making it two against what would become three, it makes WCW, the faces, at a disadvantage as they should be (are you listening TNA?). Also, this throws out a tiny piece of meat to the smarks as Luger and Sting had been the top candidates to be the third man.

It opens a door for Luger coming back and never being hurt and it opens a door for Sting to have done that on purpose. Either way the match pretty much stops at this point while we wheel Luger out. Tony says the Outsiders planned that somehow. That makes no sense but whatever. Crowd is RABID here.

Savage comes in but when Nash goes for a big elbow he lands on Savage’s head so Sting has to come in. Nash beats the tar out of Sting as does Hall so Savage is going to get the hot tag. There’s no real penalty or reward if the Outsiders win. They’re doing something brilliant here as they’re pacing things out to the point where we forget about the third man.

That’s very smart booking and I’m in awe of how this match is going. Tony says the Outsiders should get hurt. Wow. I’m not sure if that’s awesome or not. Savage FINALLY gets the hot tag and you actually can barely understand the announcers over the crowd. Nash gets a low blow on him though…and here comes Hulk Hogan. Heenan asks which side is he on.

The Outsiders clear the ring….and Hogan turns heel, dropping a leg on Savage and then another one. To say the crowd is furious is an understatement. This is legitimately a shock as NO ONE, not Meltzer, not Keith, not Reynolds, no one called this and if they did they were wrong at the time because from every report I can find, this decision was made the day of or the day before the show as Sting was scheduled to be the third man until Hogan agreed to do it.

This was a legitimate shocker and it lived up to every bit of the hype. Hogan turning was the one thing that made this angle work as I’ll get into later on. This was a great moment and I was about to cry when it happened. The fans flood the ring with garbage as Gene gets in. Hogan cements his heel status by saying the fans need to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. That line alone makes this promo.

He says the name and the rest is history. Hogan claims the success for making WWF. I’m shocked too. Hogan says he’s bored with WCW and is joining up with the Outsiders and calls them the new blood of WCW. This is the one problem I had with both this turn and Austin joining the Alliance in 2001. Both guys said they were bored with the companies they had been in and wanted better competition.

If you’re going to be fighting the company you used to work for, won’t you be fighting the same competition you were fighting before? Hogan’s title win was over Giant who he had fought at I think three PPVs and his first defense was against Flair and you know that history. That just never made sense to me.

He throws in the for some reason semi-famous line about Bischoff selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis which is actually true. Hogan runs down the fans and does his trademark line. Tony says where Hogan can go twice and we’re done.

Rating: A+. This was about launching the NWO. It worked.

Next up was a regular tag match at Hog Wild 1996.

Outsiders vs. Sting/Lex Luger

Well here’s your first half of the main event. They actually haven’t talked much about these matches tonight so that’s a perk. Oh and there’s supposed to be another member announced tonight. So far it’s still the original three. Sting and Luger get more pyro than should be humanly allowed for a single team. Tony makes an interesting point, likely his last ever, by saying Luger never got a chance to really compete against Hall and Nash. That’s very true.

Heenan says that no one cares who wins or loses. Well ok then. They point out the total lack of Savage here which I was thinking about before this match. Hall and Luger start us off and it’s all Hall so far. Now THIS Hall I could buy as this great worker that everyone heralds him as. Again we see the problem with this crowd as the mega heels get NOTHING as far as heat goes while the faces get the same.

Luger does the Pec Dance and Nash wants Sting. And we immediately see the problem that would dominate the company for over a year: the NWO is dominating. That was the problem: they never lost at all. I get that they need to look dominant early so this is fine. Around the new year or even Halloween though the WCW guys needed to start scoring some major wins.

It wouldn’t be for many months beyond that for such a thing to happen though. Sting takes Snake Eyes and it’s all Nash who gets cheers of course. Heenan insists no one has left. Sure why not. Heenan accidently implies he wants the NWO to win. How in the world did he never jump? He goes on a small rant about how the NWO has a mastermind. Uh wasn’t that Hogan? This has been ALL Outsiders and Heenan is cheering for Hall.

He was hilarious when he wasn’t even trying to be. Razor’s Edge is blocked and Sting makes his hot tag. He had charisma if nothing else. Luger just beats the tar out of everybody and signals for the Rack on Hall as Nash is in the Scorpion on the floor. We then get the beginning of an angle that went on FOREVER as Patrick gets kicked in the face by Hall and “accidently” lands on Luger’s leg and fast counts Luger. If he could have done that at Starrcade 97 WCW could have stayed in business.

Rating: C+. The Outsiders dominating was just boring. You need to let the faces get something in but of course they didn’t because that doesn’t make the NWO look strong. Even still though this was at least ok and made sense given the circumstances. Now if only they had changed the formula.

Time to go after the Tag Team Titles at Halloween Havoc 1996.

Tag Titles: The Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat

That original NWO music is still awesome. Then again so is Harlem Heat’s. The Heat had recently lost and regained the titles from Public Enemy for a pointless reign that lasted like two weeks. The Outsiders grab the belts and hold them up to a pop. Seeing the whole rebellion against the angles is very interesting. It was clear that the fans wanted something new. WWF realized that and made Austin, the rebel character, the top guy in the company and a face. Moral: listen to the audience. They’ll never let you down.

Apparently Sherri is the quarterback of Harlem Heat. Well I wouldn’t mind seeing her in the pants I guess. Stevie knocks Hall over the top rope which they immediately explain is NOT a DQ here. Why didn’t they just drop that stupid rule? I never got a straight answer to that. Anyway, Heenan says this is the first real test for the Outsiders, because clearly fighting Luger and Sting at Hog Wild wasn’t a test right? Or Savage, Luger and Sting or any other big combination they had. I love idiotic lines like that.

The fans loudly boo Harlem Heat taking over. I feel sorry for the announcers at times and then they say something stupid enough to make me lose any and all sympathy I have for them. The Heat dominate early on which is different than what you would expect. Crowd is totally behind the Outsiders here. Hall uses a chokeslam which he used back in like 93 I think. It’s weird to think he’s been using that since Giant was in high school.

Hall kisses Sherri. Can we get a sexual harassment lawsuit from the congregation? Booker hooks a sleeper and gets booed out of the building for it. Stevie gets the hot tag and cleans house, setting up the Harlem Hangover on Hall. Parker comes in for no apparent reason at all and swings the cane at Nash. This of course doesn’t work and two cane shots from Nash to Booker give the Outsiders the tag titles.

Rating: C-. Eh nothing great here but not that bad. This is far more important for the historical aspect than anything else. The ending made sense at least and the cheating was minimal, but the heels won with nefarious activities so that’s all fine. This wasn’t terrible, but the crowd told a lot of the story here as the heels got cheered and few liked the faces.

And a defense from Starrcade 1996.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear

The Outsiders, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, are defending here. The Faces of Fear are the Barbarian (I told you he stuck around for a long time) and Meng, Robert Parker’s old bodyguard, managed by Jimmy Hart. Hall and Meng start things off with the Tongan monster putting on a wristlock. Hall cranks on the arm but gets caught with a stiff clothesline. Meng charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a bulldog by Hall. The bulldog merely seems to tick Meng off though so he pounds Hall down and brings in Barbarian.

Off to Nash who pounds Barbarian into the corner and fires off some big slow knees to the ribs. An elbow to the face staggers Barbarian but he shoves the 7’0 Nash into the corner and pounds away with chops. Meng comes in and the challengers pound Nash down to a big reaction from the crowd. Nash tries to ram their heads together, but Wrestling Law #3 says anyone described as a savage has a VERY hard head, meaning it has no effect.

Nash is kicked down again for a two count for Barbarian but he misses a middle rope elbow. Barbarian is dropped face first on the top turnbuckle in a move called Snake Eyes (a move named by Nash when he portrayed Vinnie Vegas) and it’s back to Hall to pound on Barbarian a bit more. Meng comes down the apron and pulls Hall to the challengers’ corner for a double team with Barbarian. A BIG boot to the face puts Hall down but referee Nick Patrick, who may or may not be in the NWO’s pocket, takes his sweet time in counting two.

Back to Meng for a very delayed piledriver for another near fall. Barbarian tries his luck again with a bunch of chops and a good looking powerbomb. Patrick again takes forever to count, allowing Nash to come in for a save. Barbarian stays on Hall as Tony says he’s confused by who is legal. To be fair though, tying his shoes confuses Tony. NWO member Syxx goes after Jimmy Hart and the pair head to the back.

Barbarian puts on a nerve hold as Hall gets to lay on the mat. Maybe he needs a nap after all the hard work he’s done in this match so far. After not moving for a good 20 seconds and not being checked by Patrick, Hall fights up and suplexes Barbarian down to escape. Tag off to Nash who gets two off a big boot of his own. Everything breaks down and Nash powerbombs Barbarian down to retain.

Rating: C-. This one went longer than it needed to and even when I was eight years old I knew the Faces of Fear had no chance here. The Outsiders held those belts for the better part of a year and a half with no one being able to take them from them (and keep them that is). The match was a watchable power match but the belts never felt like they were in danger at all.

Another defense against their biggest rivals at Souled Out 1997.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers

This was built up forever and included attempted vehicular manslaughter by the heels. I mean there was a video of the two teams in their cars and the Outsiders ran them off the road. The Scotts start us off with various levels of arm work. These camera angles are really getting annoying as it’s hard to tell what we’re looking at sometimes. And let’s talk about Hogan.

Rick vs. Hall now. And now back to the arm. Rick gets out of it by punching Hall in the face. Again, when all else fails: HIT THEM IN THE FACE! Chokeslam gets Hall out of trouble and here’s Nash. They don’t exactly look energetic out there if that makes sense. Scott hits that spinning belly to belly and now more arm work. Everyone has had the arm worked on at various times here.

This has been half punches, half arm work and half suplexes. There were occasions where both were going on at the same time. BIG boot puts Rick on the floor. The ring color is very offputting here. This is your usual slow and plodding Outsiders match with not a lot going on but a lot of time wasting, which technically is something I guess. And now let’s yell at DiBiase because we don’t care about the match.

Nash misses an elbow which takes us nowhere. Scott reaches out to Rick but Rick is facing the wrong way. Maybe Scott wants to take up proctology. Snake Eyes on the apron as we’re on the floor now. It’s Nash and Rick still if you’re wondering. Scott Steiner drills the other Scott and drops a bunch of F Bombs. Good night this needs to get going already.

Scott FINALLY comes in and beats up anyone that enjoys being outside with ease. Everything goes nuts and Scott gets the Razor’s Edge to Scott but there’s no referee. Top rope bulldog ends Hall and Randy Anderson comes in out of the crowd and counts the pin. If you’re stupid enough to think this lasted through Nitro the next night, you’re a very stupid person.

Rating: D+. Just rather boring again as the Outsiders couldn’t move at all and it just isn’t interesting to see them fight. Nothing special at all here as this DRAGGED. It’s the longest match of the night at fifteen minutes almost and it felt like a lot more than that. The screwjob ending doesn’t help much either but not a lot is going to help this show at this point.

Time for old vs. new at Great American Bash 1997.

Tag Titles: Roddy Piper/Ric Flair vs. Outsiders

So that #1 contenders match last month really didn’t mean jack did it? Flair and Hall start things off and there’s a toothpick to the face. Flair gets punched down but comes back with chops to send Hall to the floor. Back in Flair is Flipped in the corner and runs the apron right into the big boot from Nash which gets two. Off to Big Kev who pounds him down and gets a side slam for two.

Hall adds in some cheating but the distraction lets Piper hit a low blow to bring in Piper. Piper hooks a quick sleeper on Hall but it’s easily broken and Hall crotches him on the top. With both guys down, Flair beats up Syxx on the floor. Flair fights him up the alley as Piper gets up. There’s no one to tag so it’s two on one. This was supposed to tease a Flair heel turn. Off to hall who pounds away and slaps Piper on the back of the head a lot. Roddy says bring it on but he gets Nash instead, resulting in a bunch of knees to the ribs. Big boot puts him down and it’s off to Hall for the Edge to retain.

Rating: D. There was a lot of laying around for a lot of the match and the ending was pretty stupid. Flair was supposed to turn heel but Piper bailed to Hollywood so the turn didn’t go anywhere. This was nothing of note and Flair going up the aisle with Syxx seemed pretty stupid for Flair to do. The ending was more or less a squash anyway.

We need more Horsemen. From Nitro on July 22, 1997.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Ric Flair/Chris Benoit

I’m pretty sure this is a title match. Tony says it is, and while this is probably a bad idea, I’ll go with it. Pay no attention to the Steiners winning like 84 #1 contenders matches in a row prior to this. We start with a brawl and Flair vs. Hall get us going in the ring. The Horsemen stand tall (not as tall as the Outsiders but tall in the metaphorical sense) until we officially start with Benoit and Hall.

Scott tries to pound him down but Benoit hits a dragon screw leg whip and a northern lights suplex for two. Hall bails so it’s off to Nash for a try at the Canadian. Actually make that the Carolinian who is immediately shoved down by Big Kev. Nash does all of his usual stuff in the corner but Flair comes back with punches to the face. Syxx pops Flair in the back of the head, giving Nash two off a side slam.

Back to Hall for the fallaway slam for two more. Nash comes in for some more high quality choking and the running crotch attack while Flair is throat first across the middle rope. Hall hits a running clothesline in the corner to keep Flair in trouble. Nash hits a big over the shoulder Snake Eyes on Flair before it’s back to Hall. Flair grabs a sleeper out of nowhere but Hall reverses into one of his own, only to have Flair quickly suplex out of it.

There’s the hot tag to Benoit who cleans house on both Outsiders. Clotheslines put both guys down and Flair stops Syxx from breaking up the Swan Dive. The headbutt gets two on Hall until Nash makes the save. Benoit punches out of the Jackknife but a Hall distraction lets Nash hit the big boot for a pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. I remember this match being a lot better. The ending seemed very rushed and likely happened because they were out of time. If you gave this match another five to seven minutes, it could go way up in quality. Benoit getting a chance to shine is always a good thing, as he was really starting to come into his own at this point. Not a bad match but nothing great either.

Another title defense from Nitro on September 15, 1997.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Wrath/Mortis

Hall and Mortis start things off with the Outsiders making fun of how over the top the challengers are. Scott cranks on the arm before pounding away but Mortis comes back with a big kick. He then spits on Hall’s body, despite wearing am ask meaning the spit would go nowhere. Hall comes right back with the fallaway slam and it’s off to Wrath vs. Nash.

Big Kev pounds him into the corner but Wrath throws him into the opposite corner and beats the TAR out of Nash, including getting two off a bicycle kick. Off to Mortis for a Russian legsweep and a middle rope legdrop for two each. A Syxx distraction lets Nash get in the big boot to both guys. The Jackknife ends Mortis.

Rating: C+. WAY better than I was expecting here, which is what I’ve wound up saying about every Mortis/Wrath match I’ve seen so far. Wrath had potential if he never had to talk, but since it was WCW he wound up being fed to people like Nash and Rick Steiner for the sake of making the old guys look good. The fans were getting into this when the Outsiders were in trouble. Naturally Hall and Nash wouldn’t be beaten for the titles until January.

After losing the belts to the Steiners, the NWO created their own titles and held a unification match on Nitro, January 12, 1998.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers

This is billed as a unification match but the NWO Tag Titles were never official, meaning the Steiners are the only champions coming in. As a side note: why are there so many people named Scott in this company? Scott Norton, Scott Steiner, Scott Hall, Scotty Riggs, and they’re always in tag matches against each other around this time. Hogan comes out with the Outsiders. The fans seem to be on WCW’s side in the survey.

The Scotts start things off as we hear that Flair has been fined for the attack on Neidhart a few moments ago. Scott Steiner throws Hall’s toothpick back at him and shoves Hall down with pure power. Hall drives some shoulders into the other Scott but gets shoved into the Steiner corner and ping ponged back and forth with right hands. Hall gets powerbombed down and Nash is caught in a double suplex to send the challengers retreating. Randy Savage is at ringside as well.

The fans want Sting but get an an intense talk between Savage and Hogan instead. Back in and it’s Rick vs. Hall with both guys pounding away in the corner. Off to Nash for the first time to drive knees into Rick’s ribs. Rick gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope clothesline gets two. Back to Scott Steiner who gets clotheslined down before it’s back to Hall. A chokeslam puts Scott Steiner down but he comes back with a quick belly to belly suplex for two on Hall.

Back to Rick who cranks on a leg lock before shifting to a half crab. Hall fights up and brings Nash back in, only to have him caught in a leg crank of his own. Nash comes right back for Snake Eyes (not bad a mere three weeks after missing the biggest show of the year because of a knee injury) but Rick slips down his back. Rick loads up the Steiner Bulldog but Hogan crotches him before Rick can jump. Scott Steiner goes after Hogan as Hall hits the fallaway slam for two on Rick.

Things settle down and Nash gets two off the side slam. Rick fights back against Hall but Nash knees him in the back. Scott Steiner argues with the referee and Rick bumps into said referee as everything breaks down. Nash covers Rick but Savage goes up for the elbow on Kevin, but the big man moves and the elbow hits Rick, giving the Outsiders the pin and the titles back.

Rating: C. The match was decent enough, likely due to these teams fighting each other so many times over the years. With all the NWO big shots at ringside it was hard to imagine the Outsiders not taking the belts back but it’s nice to see Hogan slumming it with the tag titles. The fans make a good point though: where was Sting? Their big hero and savior can’t even come out for a save here or at least come out an even the odds a bit?

One more time against Rick and Scott at SuperBrawl VIII.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers

The Brothers are defending in match #847 of this feud. The NWO easily wins the survey tonight. Hall starts against Rick with the latter firing off Steiner Lines and right hands. An overhead belly to belly puts him down and Nash is knocked to the floor as well. Scott Steiner comes in for the signature pose….and turns on his brother, FINALLY joining the NWO. Dusty sends DiBiase into the post but Hall only gets two on Rick. Rick fights out of the Outsiders’ corner and doesn’t seem to know what his brother did. The Outsider’s Edge his a few seconds later to change the titles.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle instead of a match. It had been a full six days since someone joined the NWO so you can’t blame them for needing a turn here. This had been building for a long time but it still felt shocking, especially given how early in the match it was. It was probably for the best too as the Steiners were long past their expiration date as a team.

After a few more matches, the team would be apart for a long time, not hooking up again until November 30, 1998 on Nitro.

Horace Hogan/Scott Steiner vs. Outsiders

The Outsiders do the Rock Paper Scissors to determine who starts against Horace. The NWO referee is in there as well. Hall nails the driving shoulders and puts on an armbar, only to walk into a hard clothesline. A hiptoss is countered into a chokeslam from Hall but it’s off to Scott Steiner. It’s Steiner with a muscle clothesline and a fast count is good for two. A butterfly suplex gets the same for Steiner on the other Scott but Steiner charges into a boot in the corner.

The middle rope bulldog gets two for Hall but the referee counts VERY slowly. Steiner comes back with a low blow but Nash saves Hall from some Horace choking. Back in and Horace stomps away and gets two off a backbreaker and splash. We hit the front facelock for a bit until Hall fights up and makes the tag to Nash. The NWO referee doesn’t count it but Nash comes in anyway and cleans house until Hall hits the Edge on Horace. No count of course so Nash Jackknifes the referee and a WCW referee comes in for the pin. Nash walks out as soon as the pin goes down.

Rating: D+. Another angle instead of a match here and Nash running off was interesting. I’m not sure where Steiner went after the hot tag but it fits the idea of the NWO wanting to run away from a real fight. The fans were really excited about the idea of the Outsiders being back together again, which is why I doubt it’s going to keep happening.

Time to kill off a marketing gold mine at SuperBrawl IX.

Kevin Nash/??? vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is Rey’s mask vs. Liz’s hair due to Lex Luger bullying Rey. Nash’s mystery partner is….Scott Hall. Liz is looking great here in a short skirt, tight low cut red top to show off the surgery and thigh high boots. Luger is seconding the Outsiders. Heenan rants about how stupid he thinks Mysterio’s mask in the most heelish thing he’s said in a long time. I know Heenan is mean most of the time but it’s usually more sly than flat out mean.

Hall throws the toothpick at Mysterio so Rey throws it right back. Rey gets thrown down twice in a row but he comes back with a quick armdrag. A springboard seated senton (called a Thesz Press by Schiavone) drops Hall and Rey nails Nash with a forearm for good measure. He dives too many times though and gets caught in a fall away slam. Nash comes in and throws Rey down by the throat as Heenan keeps ripping into Mysterio about the mask.

Back to Hall for some clotheslines and you can clearly see a purple and yellow Razor Ramon elbow pad sticking out from under the Wolfpack pad. Rey escapes the Outsider’s Edge and tags in Konnan who hammers away until Nash gets in a cheap shot from the apron. There’s the big boot choke in the corner before it’s back to Hall as Rey plays cheerleader on the apron. Konnan fights back but a double clothesline puts he and Hall down. Liz and Luger seem to be plotting something on the floor.

Rey gets the tag and dropkicks both Outsiders before using Nash’s back as a launching pad to dropkick Hall a second time. Everything breaks down and the fans are getting back into it. Luger pulls Konnan to the floor and sends him into the steps as Rey hits a moonsault press on Nash, nailing him in the head with his knee to knock Kevin silly. Liz distracts the referee though, allowing Hall to give Rey the Edge and put Nash on top for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as the previous match but the ending is just as stupid. As soon as you knew Liz’s hair would be on the line you knew the NWO would win, but WCW’s stupidity continues as they think Rey is better without his mask. Heaven forbid you sell the thing and make a bunch of money off of it or something like that. Also the name King of Mystery doesn’t have quite the same meaning now. This is another match that didn’t need to happen and whose only purpose seems to be to disappoint the fans.

It would be awhile before the team hooked up again but when they did they had a shot at the Tag Team Titles. From Nitro on December 13, 1999.

Tag Team Titles: Goldberg/Bret Hart vs. Outsiders

Before the match we go to the back and see Hart (World Champion) injured in his dressing room with Goldberg checking on him. Goldberg comes out holding both belts and is ready to go it alone. He easily knocks both guys to the floor and tells Hall to bring it on. Scott comes back in and gets caught in a wristlock so Goldberg can mess with his hair. A suplex gets two on Hall and it’s off to Nash who gets taken down by a flying shoulder block.

Hall’s distraction lets Nash get in a big boot and the challengers take over. Hall hammers away in the corner and a double stomp has Goldberg in trouble. Things settle down again with Hall raking the eyes and nailing a chokeslam as Bret staggers out. He hammers on both Outsiders and gets Nash in the Sharpshooter but Hall makes a fast save. Goldberg gets back up and spears Hall in half. We miss Bret getting taken down with a shot to the knee and see Nash covering him for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was an angle to set up Starrcade more than anything else but I’m glad they didn’t have the belts as we go into the PPV on Sunday. There’s nothing here but oddly enough neither guy turned on the other. The Outsiders wouldn’t hold the belts long and that’s probably better for everyone involved.

Hall and Nash would wind up in the WWF in early 2002 and teamed with Hogan on Raw, March 11, 2002.

New World Order vs. Steve Austin/The Rock

This is the first time the NWO has ever competed together in the WWF. Rock and Hall start things off but a Hogan distraction lets Hall take over. This is a handicap match if that didn’t come through. Rock comes back and Hogan bails from the apron in fear. A clothesline gets two for Hall and it’s off to Nash. Rock pounds away but a sidewalk slam gets two for Nash. Snake Eyes puts Rock down and it’s off to Hogan.

Hogan pounds on Rock a bit and suplexes him down before Hall and Nash work Rock over a bit. There’s the hot tag to Austin who cleans house. Nash somehow botches a Thesz Press from Austin so Austin hits a spinebuster on Hall instead. Nash can’t even hit Austin in the head right so Austin clotheslines the Outsiders down. A big boot, the only move even Nash can’t screw up, takes Austin down and it’s back to Hall.

The fallaway slam gets two for Scott and it’s back to Nash. Kevin pounds on Austin in the corner and it’s back to Hall. A clothesline puts Austin down for two and now for the only time that I can EVER remember, it’s Hogan vs. Austin. Hogan pounds away with some punches and a chokeslam before tagging out to Hall. It only lasts 25 seconds, but that actually felt special. Hall chokeslams Austin down but the Razor’s Edge is broken up by a backdrop.

Austin’s comeback is stopped AGAIN by a clothesline but he takes Hall right back down. Hot tag brings in Rock vs. Nash and Rock cleans house….for about 20 seconds before Nash takes him down again. This feels like WCW all over again. Off to Hogan to clean up the Rock scraps, but Rock nips up to terrify Hulk. Nash of course stops the momentum and everything breaks down. In a REALLY anti-climactic ending, Hogan punches Rock, hits the boot and legdrop and gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Huge historical moment aside, this was a really odd match. It was basically a squash with the NWO never really breaking a sweat against two of the biggest stars of all time. Nash looked like he had never been in a ring before and the whole thing looked awful. Then again, this had Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan in a legal match so it gets an automatic pass.

And again on Raw, March 18, 2002.

The Rock/Hulk Hogan vs. Outsiders

Hogan’s entrance is already going when we get back from a break and the Outsiders are in the ring. Good to know that’s not important enough to make Stephanie quit whining. The brawl is on quick until we start with Hogan vs. Hall. Hulk hits his punches in the corner and rakes the back before Hall gets caught between the right hands from the superheroes. Off to Rock for the spinebuster but Nash breaks up the People’s Elbow.

Nash comes in legally with the side slam before ramming knees in the corner. Hall comes back in and stops Rock’s comeback with the fallaway slam for two. The Outsiders take turns stomping on Rock but Rock escapes Nash’s Snake Eyes and hits the Rock Bottom for no cover. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house as everything breaks down. Hogan drops the leg despite coming from the wrong direction but Hall rolls to the floor for the countout.

Rating: D+. This was energetic while it lasted but they didn’t have time to go anywhere. Also there was no way this was going to be about the wrestling and there’s nothing wrong with that on a show like this. It was entertaining and a fun match to see happen and that’s all you need sometimes.

It was off to TNA after this with one of their few matches together taking place at Turning Point 2004.

Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles/Randy Savage vs. Kings of Wrestling

Savage was kidnapped remember. The Kings come out to Elvis impersonator music and Elvis suits. AJ looks like he‘s about 19 here. Jarrett is world champion. Hall looks almost human. AJ and Jarrett start us off. Bah I can‘t say Jeff in this. AJ and the champ see who can get the bigger reactions from the crowd then do some technical stuff. A headscissors takes Jarrett down and a dropkick takes him down again.

Off to Hall. He and Nash are wrestling in those Elvis suits. Give me a break. Hall works on the arm so AJ takes the knees out to control. He wants Nash so Hall spits at him and makes the tag. AJ uses the speed again and dropkicks all three Kings down. Hardy is tagged in and dropkicks Hall and Jarrett down as things speed up. Slingshot dropkick by Hardy has Nash in trouble.

Nash gets in a big boot and Hardy is in trouble. Here‘s the champ who beat Hardy last month at Victory Road. I always thought that was two or three months before this show. Jarrett hot shots him on the top rope and it‘s time to strut. Back to Hall for a discus punch and chokeslam for two. Nash comes in for a sideslam which gets two also. Back to Hall who hooks the abdominal stretch. Nothing but trademark stuff from the Outsiders.

Hall hooks a modified STF but pulls on the hair instead of the neck. That has to hurt. Hardy gets his mule kick (catching Hall squarely in the hand) which is enough for the tag to AJ. Things speed up again and AJ cleans house. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two. Styles Clash to Jarrett is avoided and Nash breaks up the springboard forearm. Fallaway slam for two as we‘re just waiting on Savage to make the big miracle appearance.

Nash hits the framed elbow (complete with Karate Elvis Action!) for two. Back to Jarrett and they work over the ribs which the Outsiders started on. Naturally this leads to the Figure Four LEG Lock but AJ rolls him up for two. Hall breaks up the tag and Nash hooks a bearhug. See, THAT makes sense. AJ makes the unseen tag and it‘s back to Jarrett. They slug it out and both hit cross bodies to put them down.

AJ finally makes the tag to Hardy and house is cleaned. Stroke is countered into a Twist of Stunner and AJ adds a springboard cross body to Hall. Nash takes out the referee though as the numbers are catching up with them. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Hall hits him with the guitar. Hardy falls forward onto Jarrett for the Swanton anyway but there‘s no referee. Here‘s Savage with a big old bald spot as is his custom. Naturally with everyone down he wants a tag and fires off right hands. All three of the Kings get caught in sleepers for some reason. Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Savage falls on him for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the ending was HORRIBLE (again). Savage might have been out there 90 seconds. He would be gone the next day because he proposed a one month title reign for himself and said he‘d drop it back to Jarrett the next month but it was vetoed. That‘s his last match, which is a sad note to go out on.

We’ll have to jump way ahead again to their final run together in TNA, starting at Lockdown 2010.

Team 3D vs. The Band

It’s Hall and Nash in case you missed it. And it’s not a cage match anymore but a St. Louis Street Fight where falls count anywhere in the building. Uh, sure why not. This actually is a major match given the teams in it so points for that. They start on the ramp and the Outsider’s Edge is blocked.

We’re in the crowd already. 3D said no one came to see a match but rather a fight. That makes sense at least. If the Waltman no-showing thing is legit, good riddance. The crowd is definitely making this show much better. We’re back in the ring now with D-Von all by himself. What’s Up hits on Hall. 3D through the table ends this. This was almost a squash match. Well I didn’t expect that one at all.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here. I was really surprised at the ending though as Hall just took 3D and got pinned. It looks like they’re pushing 3D towards the tag titles again which is the epitome of a head scratcher but whatever. Decent enough match since I like 3D so there you are.

And one final time at Sacrifice 2010.

Tag Titles: The Band vs. Ink Inc.

Since Morgan isn’t champion anymore, there’s more or less no build here. Why would you need one of those? Ink Inc. CLEARLY is enough drawing power to not need an angle or a feud or anything pesky like that. Oh and clearly THESE TWO are the second best team in the company. Hall and Moore start us off. Wow I can’t stand these challengers.

Tenay and Taz continue their brilliance by pointing out that they number one contenders have had one match which they had after being named number one contenders. Brilliant guys. The Outsiders use all of their old favorites and it’s just not that interesting. I love Hall just standing there watching his partner getting the heck beaten out of him.

Down goes the referee as the spear misses. Young, armed with a kendo stick is here. Neal gets a spear on Nash though. That’s a bit surprising. Bubba comes out and yells at Nash before popping Neal with the stick. Oh here we go again. Young pulls Nash on top for the cover and the pin.

Rating: D. Seriously? THIS is the best tag title match they could come up with? That makes my head hurt. Just not an interesting match at all and boring to top that off. Horrible and likely worst of the night so far. It’s the last time the Outsiders have wrestled together on a major show as of October 2014 and that’s a good thing given how this went.

The Outsiders are a team that is much more important for its impact than their wrestling matches and there’s nothing wrong with that. They dominated the WCW Tag Team Titles for several years and no one other than maybe the Steiners early in the 90s came close. Their matches were watchable most of the time and for a team who was as high profile as they were, that’s all they needed to be.

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