Monday Nitro #183
Date: April 5, 1999
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s a new era (kind of) for WCW as tonight they’re unveiling a new set and logo, making a change for the first time in several years. The main story coming into tonight is some announcement by Sting, who will be making his first scheduled appearance on the show since the fall of last year. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Sting video from the build to Starrcade 1997 to hype up his announcement tonight.

A new opening sequence (heavily featuring the Nitro Girls) shows off the new logo.

Goldberg is walking through the back with a tumbler full of what appears to be names to be drawn.

The announcers are now at ringside. Tony, now wearing a leather jacket and with his hair a little messier, talks about Spring Stampede coming this weekend. I must have had the dates wrong then as I thought we had another week after this. Good grief they need to hurry then.

Gene brings out Goldberg for a chat. Goldberg still has the tumbler and talks about how he’s been getting screwed over ever since losing the title. He wasn’t at Uncensored and if it’s up to Flair, he won’t be a Spring Stampede. Gene says we must be having the lottery that they’ve been talking about. I’m not sure what lottery this is but I doubt Gene knows either. The name Goldberg pulls out is going to be his victim on Sunday but here’s Nash to interrupt.

Kevin comes out in a hockey jersey and warns Goldberg not to spear him. Nash says that he’s been doing this for ten years and people will be talking about him in another ten years because he stopped the Streak. Goldberg tells him not to live in the past, so Nash makes the match between the two of them at Spring Stampede. Goldberg says Merry Christmas.

Arn Anderson is on the phone in Flair’s office but can’t get someone on the phone. Flair is upset and Arn leaves.

Nitro Girls.

Ricky Rachman hypes the Hotline.

Hardcore Hak vs. Kendall Windham

This is a Singapore Cane match for no apparent reason. They duel to start until Kendall gets in a few shots to the leg to take over. Hak’s chuck Chastity nails Windham with a cane and Hak takes over. Windham grabs a swinging neckbreaker for two but Hak puts him down with a backdrop. For some reason he goes outside to yell at someone, allowing Kendall to take over back inside. Some elbows have Kendall in trouble and a big cane shot to the head drops him. The White Russian legsweep gives Hak the pin.

Rating: D. Well that happened. This hardcore stuff is getting boring already and I can see why they switched over to the comedy stuff soon enough. Windham was only like his brother in name only and I’m still not convinced Hak is a wrestler. Thankfully they kept this on the first hour and short. The canes didn’t mean much either.

Video on Meng.

Goldberg goes in to see Flair and Anderson but they didn’t send for him. He isn’t happy that Luger and Liz are in Flair’s office. Flair has a big presidential seal on the wall now.

Anderson goes up to Nash at catering because Flair wants to see Nash.

Video on Konnan vs. Disco Inferno.

Konnan vs. Lizmark Jr.

They go to the mat to start with Konnan rolling him by the arm into a sunset flip for two. Lizmark trips him up in the corner and nails a spinwheel kick for a near fall of his own. A seated dropkick gets two for Lizmark as Tony continues his heel schtick that he started on Thursday. This time he claims that he’s the only announcer that puts in any effort instead of just going home. Lizmark takes him to the floor for an ax handle to the back. He’s getting in a lot more offense than I expected here. Konnan avoids a top rope splash and they trade rollups for two each. The X-Factor sets up the Tequila Sunrise to make Lizmark tap.

Rating: C-. It’s always nice to see some actual effort in a match like this. Konnan vs. Disco isn’t the hottest feud in the world but at least it’s something that has been given a story. Lizmark didn’t do much in WCW but he got to show off a little bit here. This was a nice little surprise instead of the usual.

Anderson and Flair get back to Flair’s office.

Scott Steiner video.

Nash and Flair are walking through the office area but go their separate ways. Hogan sees Nash and asks what he was doing with Flair. Apparently it was just business. Hollywood says it better be.

Now Nash is with Charles Robinson (in a suit), who apparently has 4Flair license plates. Robinson leaves before anything can be said. Hogan pops up again and asks what that was about. Apparently they’re having issues over what Samantha said last week. In case you forgot, it was over where or not the Fingerpoke of Doom was “real.” So they’re fighting over whether or not a poke to the chest was a real victory or staged? Am I understanding this right?

Gene brings out Flair for a chat. Ric talks about Goldberg wanting to be where the champ is now. Nash made a match with Goldberg for Sunday like a man should. As for tonight, Flair is in a good mood and is going to face Hogan tonight for the World Title. This brings out a fired up Hogan who says he’d love to beat up Flair right here tonight. Ric threatens to cancel the match if Hogan touches him but Hollywood is more than willing to let Flair go to the back and get ready.

They yell at each other a lot until DDP comes out to interrupt. Page doesn’t care for either of them but this is obviously a main event match worthy of the MGM Grand. He has an idea though: let’s make it a three way dance. Hogan is willing to make it a handicap match but here’s Goldberg before anything can be made official. He wants in the match and grabs Flair but the shirt but Ric gets away and shouts that Goldberg is in trouble. Apparently it’s a four way later tonight. Hogan and Goldberg seem to make a deal, saying they’ll take out Flair and Page respectfully and then go one on one.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Scott Steiner vs. Meng

This could be interesting. Steiner rips on DDP a bit before the match because that feud just won’t die. If Page wanted a piece of him, why didn’t he enter the US Tag Title tournament (that’s what he said) for the US Title? Steiner brings up the 30 days stipulation from SuperBrawl before talking about a rollercoaster of love. He only needs one night with Kimberly to have her for the rest of her life. If Page wants revenge, he has to give up Kimberly for one night.

Steiner pounds away in the corner but Meng nails him with a superkick to send him outside. Back in and Meng superkicks him again, knocking Steiner back into the corner. Scott asks for time out but comes back with a belly to belly. Both guys head outside with Meng going face first into the barricade. Back in and a slow motion backbreaker gets two on Meng but he fights out of a superplex and nails a middle rope clothesline. More clotheslines and a dropkick get two on Steiner. There’s the Tongan Death Grip but Steiner goes to the eyes. A low blow and belly to belly suplex are good for the pin (the feet on the ropes didn’t hurt either).

Rating: C. Again I liked this better than I was expecting with both guys getting in some good looking power stuff. Steiner’s push to the stars continues, even though he’s been the same worker for months now. Meng did his stuff here and went a little bit above and beyond with that middle rope clothesline and dropkick looking good.

Hour #2 begins.

Nitro Girls.

We see a man in a trenchcoat in the rafters but it’s just a worker.

Same Sting video that opened the show.

Flair yells at the cameraman for filming him.

Video on Jim Duggan returning from cancer.

Jim Duggan vs. Lenny Lane

Lane hides in the corner to start but gets in a cheap shot to the ribs. Duggan slugs him down and head outside with Lane being sent into the post and announcers’ table. More slugging ensues back inside and Duggan nails a suplex for two. Duggan finally drops a big knee to end this.

Rating: D-. This went on far longer than it should have and wasn’t entertaining. Duggan coming back is a good story but that doesn’t mean he’s someone interesting to see in the ring anymore. At least it was someone worthless like Lane taking the loss instead of a bigger name.

Rachman talks about the Hotline again.

Video of Hogan making the battle royal for control of the Black and White.

Battle Royal

Vincent, Brian Adams, Stevie Ray, Horace

Yep it’s a four man battle royal and we have to sit through full entrances for everyone. Norton is left out for no apparent reason. It’s a brawl to start with everyone hitting everyone else. The crowd is silent and it’s not hard to see why. There’s nothing but bunching and kicking to go with the lame elimination attempts so far. Vincent is finally thrown out after nearly four minutes of brawling.

Adams suplexes Stevie down and stops to look at Horace. Stevie knocks both of them down and hammers away as this just keeps going. Horace clips Stevie from behind and Adams nails Ray with a clothesline. Adams and Horace get in an argument over who eliminates Ray so Adams nails his former friend with a backbreaker. Adams takes too long trying to slam Horace out, allowing Stevie to clothesline him to the floor. Horace charges into a backdrop to give Stevie the win.

Rating: F. A four man battle royal that took seven minutes to get through. I think you can figure out why this is a failure.

Clip of Saturn and Raven costing the Horsemen the tag belts last week.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman vs. Raven/Saturn

The champions are now in matching undershirts. Saturn shoves Rey into the corner to start but gets taken down by a hurricanrana. Raven comes in without a tag and helps his partner with a Doomsday Device with Saturn hitting a cross body instead of a clothesline. There’s no cover though so Saturn hits a middle rope legdrop for two. Mysterio avoids a top rope legdrop and the hot tag brings in Kidman. A sitout Pedigree drops Saturn and a bulldog puts Raven down for good measure. The champions hit stereo top rope splashes for two on Saturn and we take a break.

Back with Saturn in control of Kidman and hitting a wicked overhead release belly to belly to send Kidman to the floor. Raven brings in a chair for the drop toehold and two. A gordbuster from Raven sets up a top rope splash from Saturn as the challengers are dominating. Raven misses an elbow drop and it’s off to Rey for the springboard seated senton.

A spinwheel kick puts Raven in the corner and it’s a Bronco Buster for Saturn. Raven blocks his with a raised boot. Kidman’s lifting powerbomb gets two on Saturn as everything breaks down. Mysterio dropkicks Saturn into the referee as Kidman takes Raven outside. Saturn catches a springboarding Raven in the Death Valley Driver but here are the Horsemen to lay out Raven and Saturn. Dean puts Rey on top of Saturn for the pin.

Rating: B. This was getting really good near the ending, which doesn’t make perfect sense. I get why Benoit and Malenko would want to cost Raven and Saturn a match, but wouldn’t they want them to have the belts going into their match on Sunday? Either way, this was the best match on Nitro in a few weeks and a much needed pick up after the battle royal mess.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Chris Jericho vs. Booker T.

Jericho is back in due to Curt Hennig being injured. They trade arm work to start with Tony talking about how sharp Jericho looks tonight. As he says that, Booker dropkicks his head off and takes over. Another kick to the face sends Jericho down but Booker misses a side kick and gets crotched on the ropes.

Jericho’s springboard dropkick has Booker reeling but Chris makes the mistake of slapping him in the face. The Lionsault hits feet though and there’s the ax kick. Booker nails the 110th Street Slam for two and Booker Spinaroonis up. Scott Steiner comes in with a chair but gets it kicked back into his face. Booker backdrops Jericho WAY over the top as the bell rings for a DQ due to Steiner’s interference.

Rating: C-. And that’s it for Jericho in WCW. Unless he has some promos coming up, he won’t be appearing for them again. I can’t say I blame him either as he was a prop here to set up Steiner vs. Booker in another title match on PPV. Jericho is another case of a guy with talent that never got to rise past the midcard scene because that’s how WCW worked.

Buff Bagwell vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Now that’s alliteration! Buff poses at him to start and is sent into the buckle for his efforts. Some clotheslines and kicks to the ribs have Bigelow in trouble and a big clothesline sends him out to the floor. Back in and Bam Bam chokes in the corner but charges into a boot. Buff faceplants him, only to get headbutted in the ribs to put him down again. A slam drops Bagwell again but Bigelow misses what looked like a Swanton. Buff nails a running clothesline but the referee gets bumped. This brings out Hak and Chastity to nail Bigelow with a Singapore cane and blast him with a fire extinguisher. Buff hits the Blockbuster for a pin.

Rating: C-. I knew Bagwell would work as a face. This wasn’t a bad match until the more complicated than necessary finish. This sets up Bigelow vs. Hak on Sunday, but shouldn’t Bagwell have a match set up? There isn’t much of a midcard act set for Sunday save for Konnan vs. Disco and a Bagwell match would fill that in nicely.

Video on Nash vs. Goldberg. Very impressive of them to get that ready in two hours.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Goldberg vs. Hollywood Hogan vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Flair is defending, Nash is on commentary and Goldberg comes out last. Everyone is in the ring at the same time but Goldberg and Page fight to the floor to start. That leaves Hogan to run over Flair with a bunch of clotheslines as he’s wrestling like a hero early on. Hogan gets two off one of those clotheslines with Page making the save. Now it’s Goldberg beating Flair up on the floor but all four are quickly back inside.

That lasts all of eight seconds as Hogan and Goldberg fight up the aisle and Page clotheslines Flair off the apron. They trade off again and Hogan slams Flair from the top to keep up tradition. The weightlifting belt comes off for some whipping to the champ’s back. Ric low blows Hollywood as the fans chant for Sting. Everyone gets back inside again and Hogan clotheslines Goldberg for two. They trade small packages of all things for two each as Flair puts Page in the Figure Four.

Another trade sees Hogan and Page going to the floor as Goldberg press slams Flair. Hogan comes back in to save the champion but gets to fight Goldberg for his efforts. Page can’t quite crotch Flair against the post as Goldberg is choking Hogan on the mat. All four head outside and Flair is thrown over the announcers’ table. Page and Goldberg head back inside and it’s not quite Halloween Havoc.

Goldberg powerslams him down as Hogan suplexes Flair on the floor. All four are back in again but Flair quickly falls back out. Page follows him out as Goldberg suplexes Hollywood. Both guys no sell a bit and Goldberg superkicks him down. DDP comes back in with a discus lariat for two on Goldberg, earning him a Jackhammer.

Hogan breaks it up but Flair goes after his knee. There’s the spear to Page and one for Flair as well. A third spear takes Hogan down but he kicks out at two. Goldberg hits the Jackhammer on Hogan but Nash misses his cue to break it up so Hogan kicks out at two. That wasn’t Hogan’s fault and thankfully the announcers didn’t acknowledge it. Nash comes in and that’s a no contest, just as Sting repels from the ceiling.

Rating: C+. This was very energetic but the miscues at the end hurt it. They needed someone else in there to help map the match out though and it became a problem near the end. I get why they couldn’t have someone get a clean pin but the no contest is such an annoyance when it happens so often.

Sting points around the arena and we get a video with Randy Savage’s voice announcing another fourway at Spring Stampede with Flair defending against Hogan, Sting and Page with Savage as the referee. Because WCW.

Overall Rating: C. This is a show that would have been one of the best ever had they not had the third hour. If you cut out stuff like Kendall Windham vs. Hak, the NWO battle royal (that could have been solved in about a dozen different ways, such as the match they already had last month) and a bunch of the filler stuff, this is a really good show. The Tag Team and World Title matches were both good to very good and that’s enough to carry it, though not to greatness. I’m also not wild on Spring Stampede yet but this show did help.

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Impact
Date: January 4, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Episode Title: Time For A Change
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a show I’ve been asked to do for a long time and I could have sworn I did it live. It seems appropriate now with the possibility that Impact is ending its run on Spike. People have called this the beginning of the end, and I’m curious to see how poorly it holds up. I remember there being big problems when it was fresh but it could look a lot worse four and a half years later. Let’s get to it.

We open with a history of the company with a focus on the first show back in 2002 and the big names debuting. Naturally this all pales in comparison to Hogan arriving because the battle with WWE begins.

Theme song.

Tenay and Tazz run down the card.

Earlier today, new correspondent Bubba the Love Sponge, asked fans what they wanted to see. The general response: more wrestling, more of the old school, Hulk Hogan and clothing optional muscular men. Keep in mind that none of these people actually paid to get into this show.

Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Homicide vs. Kiyoshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red

This is a Steel Asylum Xscape match, meaning it’s a BIG RED CAGE and the first person to climb out of a small hole in the top wins. The Guns (Shelley/Sabin), Lethal Consequences and Homicide/Kiyoshi are regular tag partners. Red is X-Division Champion but the title isn’t on the line. We immediately see the problem: there are eight people in the ring at once and the red bars are thicker than traditional cages, making it almost impossible to tell what’s going on inside.

Tenay tells us that Mick Foley couldn’t get through security to get in. Remember that because it’s going to be important later. It’s a huge brawl to start of course with various people climbing up and quickly being pulled back down. The fans are behind Shelley as he gets to the upper part of the cage (it’s shaped like a teapot with a lid instead of a regular cage) but Lethal makes a save before Alex can get to the hold.

Jay hits a Lethal Injection on Suicide but Kiyoshi (I think. You can barely tell) takes him down. The cameras are cutting away so fast that you can barely tell where everyone is. Suicide goes for the hole but Red makes a save. Well in theory as he kind of touches Red to get him down before diving at Sabin with a hurricanrana instead. Homicide busts out a baton and starts beating people……for a no contest. IN A CAGE MATCH.

Rating: F. None of the spots were anything special, the match ran less than five minutes, YOU COULDN’T SEE ANYTHING, AND IT WAS A FREAKING NO CONTEST IN A STEEL CAGE MATCH. Throw in that this was for nothing but bragging rights because the champion was in the match, meaning there wasn’t a title shot or anything like that up for grabs, and this was one of the worst opening matches I’ve seen in years.

The fans are rightfully livid, but we’re not done yet. Homicide goes climbing after the match is over….and he can’t get out. To be fair to him it’s a horrible design that a trapeze artist would have trouble getting out of but that’s why this was stupid. As Homicide is hanging upside down and trying not to die, the other guys get up so Homicide drops down to the mat.

They keep brawling until Jeff Hardy debuts (coming through the crowd because Hogan bringing him to the ring and saying “LOOK WHO I SIGNED” was too simple) and gets in a fight with Homicide outside (nearly falling over the bottom of the cage) of the ring. Jeff lays him out with a chair shot and Twist of Fate before climbing the outside of the cage and sitting on top. After tonight, he wouldn’t appear TNA for over two months.

Hardy and Shannon Moore are glad to see each other after a break.

Hulk Hogan is on the way, complete with a motorcade. Keep that in mind as well.

Kevin Nash makes sex jokes with Christy Hemme (no issue there) and says this is a great night for TNA and for Hogan himself. He talks about being mentored by Hogan and how good it’s going to be to have him back. Nash reiterates that Hogan is on his way and not alone.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Tara

ODB is challenging and Tara (coming out to the rocking BROKEN song) is actually wearing the belt. ODB takes over with some choking to start, followed by the fall away slam for two. Back up and Tara hooks the Tarantula followed by a slingshot flip legdrop for two of her own. The Widow’s Peak is countered into a rollup with a handful of trunks (and a cutaway because they come up a bit too high) to give ODB the title.

Rating: D. I forgot how good Tara looked at this point. The match was nothing to see though as it was mainly just a brawl for a few minutes until ODB cheated to win. This comes off like the US Express losing the Tag Team Titles to Volkoff and Sheik at the first Wrestlemania: give them something to make it historic. The similarities continue as Tara would get it back less than two weeks later.

Tara lays out the new champion and puts her spider on ODB’s face.

Ric Flair arrives in a big surprise and goes into World Champion AJ Styles’ locker room.

Earlier today Christy was talking to fans when Mick Foley arrived and tried to get in. He’s been barred from the arena though and doesn’t seem to care. Security stops him though and Mick just leaves.

Bobby Lashley and his girlfriend Kristal come out with something to say. A loud BOBBY chant cuts Kristal off as she tries to talk about how big of a night this is. She says Bobby wants Hogan to know what a big star he is and how no one can handle him. Unlike MMA, wrestling is full of inbred degenerates that people like Lashley have to put up with. Lashley has asked for his release because they have more important things to do. Both would be gone before the end of the month.

The Beautiful People are playing strip poker because that’s what good looking women do. Notice the Five Hour Energies (sponsor) on the table. On the other hand, ignore that Lacey claims to have a flush but seems to have four hearts and a diamond.

Scott Hall (looking BOMBED. DDP truly is a miracle worker) and Sean Waltman beat up security but get stopped.

Hogan is still coming.

After a break the limos have stopped outside the Impact Zone. Someone gets out of one limo and gets into the other one.

Hall and Waltman get into the arena.

It’s 9pm so here’s Hulk in black. Brooke is of course in the front row. Hogan immediately puts over the roster and the locker room for working as hard as they have. Now we get the infamous line from this promo: “I’ve been in the back all day.” Remember that this is after AN HOUR OF WATCHING HIM DRIVE TO THE BUILDING. That line was edited out of the rebroadcast of the show and it’s painful to hear all over again.

Hogan talks about how many new and familiar faces there are here. As he’s talking, Hall and Waltman try to get to the ring. Hogan says give them a mic and let them get in the ring. Hall and Hogan do the Wolfpack sign and Hall says the party is back. The boss tells him that’s not how it works anymore. Waltman thinks it’s the same people so it’s the same party, but Hogan shoots him down too. In a laughable line, Hogan says it’s time to grow up.

Hall says everything is changing, with or without Hogan. Wait so is everything changing or is everything the same? Nash comes out and wants to know what’s going on, but Hulk insists he’s not playing a role. Hogan says they need to do this FOR REAL because it’s a different time. Hall and Waltman are ready to fight but Eric Bischoff debuts and says they reinvented this business. Dixie Carter is shown watching from the crowd.

Bischoff says this is all about communication and that has broken down recently. Everyone has to earn their position in this company, which Nash hears loud and clear. Nash, Hall and Waltman leave and Bischoff again claims that they can change the business again. Hogan says they’ve shuffled the deck as Dixie cautiously applauds. Bischoff rips up the format sheet to show how different things are going to be. He hands the producer a new format because they’re turning this company upside down. So this basically boiled down to the same “this is new” promo that every indy company starts with.

Sting is shown watching from the rafters.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Awesome Kong/Hamada vs. Sarita/Taylor Wilde

Hamada and Kong are challenging. Sarita armdrags Hamada down a few times to start as we cut to the back to see the Motor City Machineguns laid out. Kong comes in and starts cleaning house but Taylor kicks Hamada out to the floor. The champions double team Kong to the floor and hit stereo dives to take the villains out as we take a break.

Back with Hamada hitting a running basement dropkick for two on Sarita. Taylor comes in and is promptly destroyed by Kong with ease. Hamada gets in some shots of her own and it’s back to Kong, who actually allows the hot tag to Sarita. The challengers catch a top rope cross body with ease but Taylor makes the save. Kong drops Sarita with a spinning backfist and an Awesome Bomb with Hamada adding a missile dropkick gives us new champions.

Rating: C. I liked this better than I thought I would but I always liked Hamada. There’s no story here of course but then again there never were with these belts. This title reign didn’t mean much either as Hamada and Kong would be stripped of the titles when Kong left the company due to an altercation with Bubba the Love Sponge.

The Beautiful People are still playing cards when Sean Morely shows up in a towel. He wants to deal.

Security still won’t let Foley into the arena. He’s in the building now at least. Foley leaves and the Nasty Boys debut but can’t get in either. Allegedly this was a rib by Bischoff and Hogan for fans who would ask where the Nasty Boys were.

Matt Morgan/Hernandez vs. Raven/Dr. Stevie

Carbon Footprint ends Stevie in thirty seconds. Apparently this was a #1 contenders match.

D’Angelo Dinero is ready for Desmond Wolfe when Orlando Jordan (not named here) debuts and asks if they’ve seen Hogan. Pope isn’t happy. Somehow this took like three and a half minutes.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe

Wolfe throws Dinero around to start and goes after the arm with a flying hammerlock. The arm is sent into the buckle but Dinero comes back with a knee in the corner and a Vader Bomb elbow. The fans think that THIS IS WRESTLING as Pope escapes the Tower of London and small packages Wolfe for the pin out of nowhere. Too short to rate but the fact that TNA didn’t even bother saying Wolfe was awesome tells you everything you need to know about it.

Jeff Jarrett arrives.

Rhino is down in the back. Bubba the Love Sponge shows up and says he’ll get to the bottom of this.

The announcers recap the evening and we get a clip of Hogan debuting.

AJ Styles is excited about Hogan arriving and is ready for his match with Angle at Genesis so he can prove how great he is. Bischoff comes in and makes AJ vs. Angle for the title tonight.

Jeff Jarrett makes his big return to the Impact Zone and thanks the fans for being here. He founded TNA seven years ago and the fans said they wouldn’t last six months. Instead he’s sitting here in a six sided ring on a Monday night. He spent years trying to get Hogan here and now the time is right.

Jarrett talks about doing good and bad things, but the best thing he’s done is bring in people like Beer Money, Daniels, Samoa Joe and AJ Styles. The best is yet to come….and Hogan cuts him off. Hogan talks about how Jarrett ran the country into the ground and how he and Bischoff are here to save it. Hogan is now Dixie’s partner and he’ll take TNA to the top. Jarrett has no power and needs to lace up his boots and be ready.

Let’s stop to recap this for a second. Hogan and Bischoff came into the company as good guys. This should be obvious given how they were hyped up. Jarrett didn’t show a single bit of heelishness in the promo and it was all for the fans. They were into it as well, and then Hogan cuts him off at the knees like a heel. It didn’t come off like a heel turn, but rather Hogan talking to a heel.

Was TNA expecting Jarrett’s promo to get booed? I have no idea why as there wasn’t anything but sucking up to the fans in it, nor do I have any idea why Hogan has to oppose Jarrett. Yeah Jarrett did some stupid stuff in real life, but what does that have to do with his on screen character? In theory it’s more of Hogan’s blurring the lines stuff and this is a good example of how bad it can look.

Daniels is in the back when JB interrupts him (a recurring trend tonight). Apparently Foley is still trying to get in and convinces Borash to open a door. Foley finally gets in and wants a meeting with Hogan.

Jeff Hardy is painting but Shannon Moore says the big man called. They leave.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

This is the sixth match of the night and these are the second and third people still actually with the company just four and a half years later. Actually, so far the only people we’ve seen still with the company are the announcers, Christy, JB, Lashley (who was gone for a four year stretch), Homicide, Joe, two Beautiful People, Hardy and Abyss. That’s eleven people out of probably thirty or forty still around and only seven are active wrestlers. That’s an INSANE turnaround in less than five years.

Joe hammers him down in the corner to start and hits a quick Facewash for good measure. They head outside and Abyss has to duck a chair being pelted at his head. Back in and Abyss slams him down but charges into a boot to the face. We see Sting watching from the back. Joe follows it up with a middle rope boot to the chest for two. An enziguri staggers Abyss but he chokeslams Joe down with ease. The referee gets bumped and Joe nails Abyss with a chair, setting up the Clutch for the submission.

Rating: C-. Decent power brawl here but more than that it was nice to see a match get nearly five minutes without anything interrupting it. Oh wait there was the Sting deal. I knew it was too good to be true. The match didn’t mean anything but that’s par for the course on this show.

Bischoff is editing the new format when Kristal comes up and demands a meeting with Hogan. Eric tells her to take a number and wait in line.

Now Beer Money has been attacked. Bubba thinks he knows who did it.

The Nasty Boys still can’t get in so Bubba comes in and says let them in.

Kurt Angle (the eighth person still on the roster) says he’s been waiting to get his hands on AJ since September.

Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore get envelopes (presumably contracts) when some teenage girls come up. Jeff gives them the painting and they scream a lot.

The Nasty Boys trash Team 3D’s locker room. Team 3D would lose the showdown on PPV.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

AJ is defending. Angle quickly suplexes out of a headlock as the fans are split on what to do. Kurt goes outside and gets taken down by a big flip dive to finally give the fans something good to cheer for. A masked man comes in and attacks AJ but Angle helps get rid of him to save his title shot. Angle nails a buckle bomb and we take a break. Back with AJ nailing some shots to the face and hitting the AA into a backbreaker.

The springboard forearm is caught in an overhead belly to belly but AJ escapes the Angle Slam. A catapult sends AJ into the buckle and it’s time to roll some Germans. He’s able to escape the Slam again but Angle counters the Pele into the ankle lock. AJ rolls out and hits another Pele for two with Angle getting into the ropes. Now the Angle Slam connects for two but Angle walks into the springboard forearm to put both guys down. The champion takes his time getting to the top, allowing Angle to run the ropes for the belly to belly.

This time it’s Kurt going up but missing a frog splash. There’s the Styles Clash for two but Kurt is able to fight out of a superplex attempt. The frog splash lands for two and Angle is getting ticked off. Another Angle Slam is countered into a DDT, drawing a WHO NEEDS BRET chant (Bret was returning to the WWE on Raw). Angle rolls out of another Clash attempt but can’t get the ankle lock.

A springboard into the reverse DDT gets two for the champion. AJ takes too long going up this time so Angle hits something like the Angle Slam off the top for two. I remember buying that as the finish back in the day. The ankle lock is countered with Kurt being sent into the buckle and a second Styles Clash gets two. Angle rolls through a third Styles Clash attempt and grabs the ankle lock with the grapevine.

AJ becomes one of the only people to escape the hold as Flair comes out to watch. Styles suplexes him down and hits a springboard 450 for two. We take another break and come back with AJ in what looks like a triangle choke. He powers up but gets caught in the ankle lock, only to counter into a third Styles Clash. A second springboard 450 is enough to retain AJ’s title.

Rating: A-. Awesome main event here but unfortunately it came at the end of a horrible show. There were a ton of great near falls in there and I loved that AJ escaped the hold that Angle spent the entire match trying to grab. Flair meant nothing and Daniels meant even less. Oh Daniels was the masked man in case you were wondering. Odds are you forgot though, just like TNA apparently did as he wasn’t mentioned after the first two minutes of the match.

Hogan comes out to applaud and give his seal of approval but there’s another interruption. Foley is breaking up the poker game (remember that?) and demanding to know where Hogan is. Because THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND VAL VENIS are the first people you would ask. He goes into Bischoff’s locker room and they go back and forth a bit with Foley saying he wants to stay. Hall, Nash and Waltman come in and lay him out, revealing themselves to be the attackers all night long. Shocking I know. Hogan comes in and sees what happened to close the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I can’t call a show with that good of a main event a failure. That being said, that’s the extent of the good stuff about this show. Let’s see. TNA brags about having the best young roster in the world. Ok, that’s cool. Let’s look at how it was utilized tonight. The opening match is one of the biggest disasters I’ve ever seen. Seriously, it’s that bad. Hardy didn’t make things better as he got on my nerves with one of about two million stories going on throughout the night.

Moving on, Tara vs. ODB was too short to mean much but it was nothing special. The other Knockouts match was better, but is that really the match you want getting the second most time all night? Yeah it was watchable but this is supposed to be TNA’s grand showcase show, not any other episode of Impact. I’ll give the girls a pass for this show, but they were really just passable at best.

As for the up and comers, Morgan and Hernandez got about thirty seconds, Pope had a nothing match against one of the best wrestlers in the company who might as well have been any given jobber, and two former World Champions had a four and a half minute match that didn’t mean anything. The main event was indeed great because it was given time to be great, but it didn’t make up for everything else.

Let’s look at the backstage segments. I don’t hate him nearly as much as some do, but Bubba the Love Sponge is as big a waste of space as anyone I’ve seen in a good while. A handful of people might know him, but if you think he was hired for anything other than being Hogan’s friend you’re missing the point. His main story throughout the night was either letting in the Nasty Boys (more on them later) or saying “Yep, these young guns have been knocked out cold. I think I know who did it but I’m not going to tell anyone.”

That brings me to all the old people being brought in to take spots from younger people. Aside from Hogan, Bischoff and the NWO guys, we had Val Venis, Orlando Jordan, the Nasty Boys, Ric Flair, Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore debut. Of those six full time wrestlers, only Hardy and MAYBE Flair should have been signed. It doesn’t help that Venis, Hardy, Jordan and the Nasty Boys all won their debut matches, making the TNA guys look second rate as a result.

That’s the line to sum up this whole show: the newcomers made TNA guys look second rate. The old guys’ stories looked more important (all 19 million of them), they were treated like bigger stars, they got more time, and their stories all made little to no sense. Also, they can all be summed up as “let the old times roll!” That’s the extent of the main story: the NWO guys want to be the NWO again and Hogan is split over loyalties. Tell me: how does this make TNA look good? It comes off as Hulk N Pals using TNA as a playground instead of actually making them look better.

The whole show came off as “step aside kids and let the big boys show you how it’s done.” Unfortunately, those old guys aren’t all that interesting anymore because they haven’t meant much in about ten years. The problem with that is the same thing that has plagued TNA for years: they would rather be a nostalgia promotion rather than something new. It’s fine once in awhile, but when it’s all you’ve got, it stops being fun and becomes a promotion built around old guys that a lot of fans have no connection to. If you’re under about twenty, this show holds no appeal to you as far as nostalgia goes and that isn’t going to work long term.

This show was a disaster with almost nothing going right. The debuts (other than Hardy and the shock value of Flair) came off like the last minute hires to fill in a roster, the matches were bad save for the main event, and the stories were all over the place. It didn’t make me want to watch any more and the whole thing was just a mess. TNA would waste a few more years on Hogan and Bischoff before they left with more damage than anyone could solve.

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Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This year has been all about the rise of CM Punk. In June he sat on the stage and ripped into John Cena and the WWE in general, leading up to the world title match at Money in the Bank in Chicago. Punk won the title in a masterpiece and then left the company as champion. Cena won the title from Rey Mysterio on Raw, but Punk came back with his title. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion for the undisputed title. Oh and Christian vs. Orton in the blowoff to the underrated feud of the year. Let’s get to it.

Adam Jones, some guitarist from Tool, plays the Star Spangled Banner. WE WANT MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!

The opening video is about how Summerslam being where dreams are made. We shift to a shot of dominoes falling over. Punk talks about being the first domino being knocked over and starting a revolution. HHH is guest referee tonight because what would a major match be without him?

The theme song this year is Bright Lights Bigger City by Cee Lo Green. I usually don’t care for him but it fits the show well.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Cole IMMEDIATELY freaks out over Miz being on Summerslam. Miz keeps talking about how awesome he is until Truth cuts him off. This was when Truth was insane so he complains about things that start with the letter S, like spiders, Summerslam, Cee Loo Green and Conspiracy. Del Rio is the Raw MITB winner. The fans are WAY into Del Rio here for some reason. Mysterio gets a title shot at Punk or Cena tomorrow on Raw. Miz and Kofi get things going and the fans are actually behind Miz as well. Kofi hits a nice monkey flip followed by a dropkick before bringing in Morrison.

A double clothesline puts Miz down and the good guys do stereo nipups in a nice visual. Off to Truth who is tackled by Morrison but comes back with right hands to the face. Truth sends Morrison to the floor as the announcers talk about wigs. Thankfully Booker is there to get us back to the action by shouting BACK TO THE ACTION! Miz comes in with a kick to the head and puts on a chinlock, only to have Morrison kick him in the head to escape.

Kofi comes flying in off the hot tag and cleans house with his barrage of high flying offense including a cross body to Miz for two. The Boom Drop gets two and everything breaks down. Kofi gets two off the SOS but Del Rio breaks up the pin. Miz hits a kind of Diamond Cutter face plant for two and it’s Kofi in trouble from the boots of R-Truth. Del Rio comes in with a belly to back suplex and mocks Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise hand slap.

Kofi kicks him away but Miz breaks up a hot tag bid. Cole lists off Miz’s high school accomplishments as Kofi flips out of a sunset flip and stomps on Miz’s ribs to put him down. Hot tag brings in Rey to face Truth who does his usual backflip/splits sequence, only to have Rey kick him in the head. Del Rio breaks up a double 619 so only Truth takes the kick. Kofi dives on Miz and Rey hits a top rope splash on Truth for the pin.

Rating: B-. Take six guys, give them ten minutes and let them have fun. It’s an idea as old as time and it’s still used to this day because it still works. The good guys can fire up any crowd with their high spots and the fans were into the match as a result. As mentioned earlier, Summerslam is great at having good openers and this was no exception.

Johnny Ace wants an apology from Punk over a kick to the head on Monday. Punk gives an over the top apology and Ace walks away. Punk turns around to see Stephanie who wishes him good luck. He makes fun of Vince and she wishes both Cena and Punk good luck. “But I’m just Vince’s clueless daughter right?” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” She offers him a handshake but he knows where it’s been.

We recap Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. Henry is just starting the Hall of Pain run and has been destroying everyone in sight and breaking a lot of limbs. He stood tall in the ring until Sheamus came out and said three simple words: I’ll fight him. It turned Sheamus face and made him very popular due to the simple idea of standing up to a bully. THIS is how you book Sheamus: have him in there against some monster and taking a good fight to him, not slumming it with Damien Sandow and winning each match with ease.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry takes him down with a clothesline to start but Sheamus comes right back with right hands. The pale one pounds away and actually knocks Henry down to his knees, only to be thrown to the floor. Henry EASILY throws Sheamus through the ropes and hits a splash for two. A running crotch attack crushes Sheamus’ neck but he’s in the ropes before the count starts.

A backbreaker puts Sheamus down and it’s off to an Argentinean backbreaker to complete the set. Sheamus powers out, only to be sent chest first into the corner. Henry misses a Vader Bomb though and Sheamus has a breather. A series of ax handles to the chest and head put Henry down followed by the forearms in the ropes. They clothesline each other down and we get a breather.

Back up and Mark runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Sheamus to go up for the top rope shoulder, good for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and a clothesline puts Sheamus down. Sheamus slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and there’s the Brogue Kick to knock Henry to the outside. Sheamus follows him to the floor but Henry drives him into the post and through the barricade in a great crash, allowing Mark to beat the count for a countout win.

Rating: C+. This was another simple formula: take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for nearly the minutes. It’s also a smart ending as Sheamus gets to stay strong but Henry gets another win. Sheamus would get a countout win I believe at the next PPV so it evened out. Good, fun brawl here.

World Heavyweight Champion Christian says his match with Orton will be an epic summer blockbuster. He’ll be like Harry Potter, making magic at every turn. Orton will be like Cowboys and Aliens: a flashy flop. That movie was good though.

Trailer for Killer Elite which is probably sponsoring the show or something.

Here’s Cee Lo Green for the mini concert. He looks like he’s in big sparkly pajamas but the song isn’t bad so I’m not complaining much. The fans aren’t moving at all for this but the vocals are pretty bad so I can barely hear a word he’s saying. Now he throws in his bigger hit Forget You, complete with Divas in red dancing behind him.

Now here’s a Slim Jim ad. I’m sure the fans are LOVING this stuff.

Now a 7-11 commercial. My goodness get to something else.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

I could go for a Slurpee. Back to 7-11 it is! Kelly is defending. Beth and Natalya are the Divas of Doom here and don’t like the Barbies like Eve and Kelly. Kelly and those AWESOME little shorts of hers go after Beth and we get the screaming headscissors. Beth is knocked off the apron and Kelly dives off the middle rope to knock her to the floor. Back in and Kelly flips out of the corner and Beth clotheslines her down.

Kelly gets dropped throat first on the top rope for two Eve plays cheerleader. This is a lot of standing around with Beth glaring down at Kelly before hitting a running Umaga shot in the corner. We hit the chinlock followed by the second over the shoulder backbreaker of the night. Kelly finally slips out and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both of them down.

Beth sends her into the Tree of Woe for no follow up before getting two off a side slam. Kelly gets in a knee to the face and goes nuts on Beth, only to have the handspring elbow countered. The Glam Slam is countered into a victory roll for the pin, just like every time Kelly beat Phoenix.

Rating: D+. All things considered, this was something resembling a miracle. The match was nothing of note but Kelly actually didn’t embarrass herself out there. She got WAY better over the years, but at the end of the day she was out there because of how good she looked in those tiny shorts. It also says a lot that less than two years later only Natalya is left from this match.

Stephanie leaves Cena’s locker room for some reason.

Truth and….Jimmy Hart of all people talk about a c-o-n-spiarcy. Jimmy offers to manage him and Truth seems interested before he realizes that Hart is…..LITTLE JIMMY! Truth looks over to see Ron Artest (Metta World Peace) and his daughter in a worthless cameo.

BUY TWIX!

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

I like Barret’s End of Days theme a lot better than the God Save the Queen one now. This is MITB fallout as Bryan knocked Barrett off to win the case. Bryan has some slow music which isn’t all that bad, but soon he would go to Flight of the Valkyries which works far better for him. Bryan is rocking the white trunks with red trim here which are pretty awesome. Feeling out process to start with Barrett punching Bryan down to stop the wrestling part of the match.

Daniel takes it to the mat and spins out of a wristlock before dropkicking Wade down. Cole says Barrett is a submission master as Bryan does the AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick, right down to the same overblown drop down. Back up and Bryan hooks a dragon screw leg whip and a running dropkick in the corner for two. Another kick to the chest gets two and Bryan backflips over Barrett, only to charge into the Winds of Change for two. A slingshot belly to back backbreaker gets two for Wade and we hit a reverse chinlock.

Back up and Bryan hits a running clothesline but Wade comes back with a big running forearm to the face. Wade puts Bryan in the ropes and kicks him out to the floor before hooking a chinlock. The hold doesn’t last long again but Bryan ducks a boot and crotches Barrett on the top. A dropkick puts him on the floor and there’s the flying knee off the apron. Back in again and the missile dropkick gets a close two for the American.

Bryan escapes a pumphandle slam and fires off more kicks to the chest for two. Wade ducks a clothesline and hits a big boot to the face for two but Wasteland is countered into the guillotine choke. Barrett goes down and there’s the LeBell Lock but Wade gets into the ropes for the break. Daniel loads up a superplex but Barrett crotches him on the top rope. A middle rope clothesline takes Bryan off the ropes and Wasteland is good for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this for one reason: it was a good wrestling match. It’s a basic story of one guy wanting revenge for a loss in a big match, it had a good story in the ring with a striker against a technical guy and the action was good. Wade Barrett is a guy who can go in the ring but he’s the ultimate jobber to the stars and I have no idea why when he can do this.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Christian. Christian won the title at Extreme Rules but Orton came over to Smackdown to replace Edge as the top guy. Orton won the title on his first night on the show, ending Christian’s title reign in less than a week. Christian wanted one more match, turning heel in the process.

Orton beat him again, but Christian some how got one more match and if Orton got disqualified, he would lose the title. For once, that actually worked and Christian won the title. Tonight, it’s the final match with no holds barred. These matches kept getting better and better and if Punk vs. Cena hadn’t happened it would have run away with feud of the year.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

Before the match, Christian brings out Edge to be in his corner to a HUGE ovation. After a full entrance, Edge says that he’ll never be cleared to wrestle again. When he first left, that made him happy because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. Edge didn’t think it was fair that Christian had to defend the title five days after a ladder match and Christian complained too.

Then he complained more and more and more and more. Then he wanted rematch after rematch and FINALLY he won the title back…..but he did it by disqualification. Yeah Edge did some bad things, but he did it with style. He didn’t hide behind lawyers and clipboards. Somewhere along the line Christian became a parody of himself. Edge didn’t know Christian would ever be like this, and that’s not good. Edge drops the mic, walks out, Christian freaks, and here’s Randy.

Remember this is no holds barred. Orton takes him into the corner and stomps him down before hitting a quick clothesline. Christian rakes the eyes and gets a quick one count off a middle rope elbow to the face. A backdrop puts Christian down and Randy stomps away but the champion chokes away on the ropes. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT but gets backdropped to the floor. Really back and forth so far.

Orton sends him head first into the barricade and loads up the announce table. The RKO is blocked and Christian grabs the belt before sprinting into the crowd. Randy catches up with him and stomps Christian down onto the concrete before heading back to ringside. Back in and Orton rains down right hands in the corner. Christian avoids a charge and sends Orton’s famously bad shoulder into the post to take over. The champion brings in a kendo stick to choke away before getting two off a back elbow.

Christian busts out a spinebuster for two and goes to the middle rope, only to be dropkicked out of the air. The powerslam puts Christian down again and now Randy gets the kendo stick. Instead of swinging though he catches Christian’s dropkick into a jackknife cover for two followed by the Thesz Press. Christian escapes the Elevated DDT into a Killswitch attempt but Orton counters into the backbreaker for two. The idea of this feud was that they knew each other so well and they would add another move to the string of counters every match. It was awesome.

Orton can’t hit the Punt but has to send Christian face first into the post to avoid getting crotched against the steel. Randy pulls out a pair of tables and slides one into the ring, only to have Christian drive him into the apron. Christian sets up the other table on the floor and they head inside where Orton superplexes him onto (not through as the table hasn’t been set up yet) the table for two. The table is set up in the corner but Christian counters the whip into the reverse DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the spear but Orton jumps over and tries the RKO, only to be sent over the top and out to the floor.

Christian goes after him but is sent knees first into the steps to put him down again. Orton takes forever to set up the steps but gets sent face first into the steel again. Christian loads up the other announce table and blasts Orton in the head with the announce table. The champion tries an RKO through the table but gets caught in the real thing to destroy the table instead. Back in and Christian hits a quick Killswitch for two and Christian is furious.

The champion brings in a pair of chairs for the Conchairto but spits on Orton, causing Randy to move away. Now it’s Randy with the chair, cracking it over Christian’s back and knocking him off the apron through the table. Orton throws in some steps and trashcans before catching a charging Christian in a powerslam through the table in the corner.

Some HARD kendo stick shots to the back have Christian in even more trouble and the Elevated DDT crushes a trashcan. Christian tries one more rush but his sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the RKO (same move that gave Orton the title in the first place) onto the steps for the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. Much like the Undertaker vs. Edge Cell match a few years earlier, this was the perfect way to blow off a feud with Orton being the definitive winner. This feud did a great job of building upon itself with the extended sequences carrying over from match to match and building a deep psychology. Great match here and the whole feud is worth checking out.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. As mentioned, Punk left with the title at Money in the Bank so there was a tournament held to crown a new champion. Mysterio won but lost the title to Cena the same night. Punk came out and held up his own belt, meaning we had two champions. This all happened in two weeks when it could have went on for months. The entire match is summed up with one idea: Cena doesn’t know if he can beat Punk. HHH is the new boss and is the guest referee tonight for no reason anyone not named HHH can figure out.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk has more or less been turned face by the will of the crowd alone. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock and SHOUTING spots into Cena’s ear. Cena easily takes him down to the mat and slaps on a headlock. That gets him nowhere so Punk gets up and we have a quick staredown. Cena grabs a single leg and slaps on an armbar followed by a chinlock. Back up and Punk hits a quick leg lariat before hooking a chinlock of his own with a bodyscissors.

Cena powers out and hooks a quick fisherman’s suplex before hooking another chinlock. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles and WE WANT ICE CREAM as Punk gets up a quick big boot to the jaw. HHH hasn’t been a factor so far. A few knees to the ribs and a headbutt to the shoulder set up another bodyscissors from Punk as we’re barely in second gear nearly eight minutes into the match. Cena escapes again and they fight over a suplex off the apron. Neither guy can go anywhere so Punk kicks Cena in the head to knock him outside.

Back in again and Punk cranks on a neck lock but Cena stands up and suplexes out of it. Cena tries to speed things up but the shoulder block is caught by a knee to the head for two. The running knee in the corner misses and now Cena can initiate the finishing sequence, only to have Punk hit a knee to break up the Shuffle. CM tries a kick but gets caught in the STF, only to get to the ropes and counter the ProtoBomb into a downward spiral and a Koji Clutch.

Cena rolls out and puts on the STF but Punk slips in an arm to block most of the pressure before countering into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls out of THAT and tries the STF again but Punk crawls out before it goes on full. AWESOME sequence there as the gear has shifted hard. Punk backdrops him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but he bumps his own head in the process. HHH starts counting and gets to nine before going to the floor and throwing both guys back inside.

They slug it out back in the ring but Cena can’t hit the AA. Instead he busts out a GREAT dropkick and hits the Shuffle. The AA is countered again into a sunset flip for two followed by the high kick for two more. Cena escapes the GTS and hits a corner splash (?!?) and a sitout powerslam (that’s more like it) for two. The top rope Fameasser doesn’t get to launch as Punk hits the running knee to the head and the bulldog off the top for two.

Punk loads up another springboard but gets caught in the STF to put him in real trouble. He finally gets to the rope and pops up for a GTS attempt, only to be countered into the AA for a close two. The top rope Fameasser misses again and Punk grabs a quick GTS for two more. HHH still hasn’t been a major factor other than throwing both guys in. The Macho Elbow gets two and Cena goes into straight brawling mode but gets caught by another knee to the chin. GTS #2 connects and the three goes down but Cena’s foot was on the ropes before two.

Rating: B+. The match is good with that sequence in the middle being a big highlight but there’s one major problem for this match: it’s the sequel to Money in the Bank. That’s doomed so many matches over the years and while it didn’t sink this one, it certainly slowed it down a lot. Still though, good stuff here and definitely worthy of a major PPV main event.

Punk takes a victory lap around the ring but won’t shake HHH’s hand. The Game doesn’t seem too mad about it and raises Punk’s hand as the winner. HHH leaves, CM Punk poses, and KEVIN NASH comes in through the crowd and lays out Punk with a Jackknife. Cue Alberto Del Rio, briefcase in hand.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Kick to the head, Del Rio wins the title to end the show. This would turn into one of the stupidest and most ridiculous stories ever with Nash showing a text asking him to lay out Punk but it turned out he sent it to himself for one more moment in the limelight after a big fan reaction at the Royal Rumble. The end result of all this: HHH beating Nash and Punk.

Overall Rating: A. This is a GREAT show with some awesome matches and some great drama at the end. Now to be fair no one knew what the drama would lead to, but it blew my mind when I watched it at first. The rest of the show is awesome though with the worst match being the Divas. If the biggest torture I have to go through all night is looking at Kelly in those shorts and Eve looking gorgeous all dressed up, so be it. Great show here and well worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/R-Truth

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Original: C

Redo: C+

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: B

Redo: B+

Randy Orton vs. Christian

Original: B+

Redo: A-

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Original: A+

Redo: B+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

Ok the main event isn’t THAT good. I think we’re firmly at the point where my ratings are about the same for most matches.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/14/summerslam-2011-that-was-i-need-a-cigarette/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LWSOTGK

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Another year another Summerslam and yet again the company has changed. Tonight we have a double main event with a Wrestlemania rematch of Lesnar vs. Angle II for the Smackdown Title and an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw Title. 2003 was split down the middle in quality as Raw was atrocious and Smackdown was some of the best television in company history. It’s always interesting to see the two shows come together. Let’s get to it.

The US Marine Corps presents the American flag while Lillian sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video talks about how there is evil in this world and the Chamber tonight will prove it.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

The Dudleyz are challenging and the EVIL foreigners are Rene Dupree and Sylvain Grenier. Bubba of course comes out with an American flag to hammer in the face status. The whole patriotism thing was a big deal in this feud as the third member of La Resistance, an American named Rob Conway, pretended to be a soldier to sneak up on the Dudleyz. It’s a brawl to start in the aisle with the challengers in full control.

D-Von chokes Dupree with the robe to start before armbarring Grenier down. A slam and a legdrop gets two on Sylvain and it’s off to Bubba for the power brawling. He puts Grenier in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch to make the French guy scream. The Dudleys clear the ring but Grenier gets in a cheap shot to give the champions control on Bubba. A double shoulder puts Bubba down for two as the USA chant starts up.

Back to Dupree for a bearhug, which isn’t often a move you see on a fat man like Bubba. Some headbutts break up hold but Bubba walks into a spinebuster for two. Bubba punches his way over to the hot tag (four minutes into the match) and D-Von cleans house. A rollup gets two on Grenier as everything breaks down. D-Von walks into a double spinebuster for two but it’s What’s Up to Dupree. The 3D lays out Dupree but Grenier makes save. Now a cameraman lays out D-Von with a camera to the head to retain the titles. It’s Rob Conway of course.

Rating: D+. That’s a pretty lame choice for an opener. Not only did the fans not get what they wanted but the match sucked as well. This was a dark time for the tag team division and there was no reason at all for there to be two sets of titles at this point. At the end of the day there wasn’t nearly enough depth and it made for lame matches like this. The Dudleys would get the belts next month.

Spike tries to run in for the save but Conway lays him out with the camera. Conway hasn’t been named here but I think the spoiler is ok at this point.

Coach says La Resistance was clever so Bubba accuses him of being anti-American and vows to get the belts back.

Eric Bischoff is warming up when Intercontinental Champion Christian comes up. He wants to know why he isn’t on the show but Bischoff blames Co-GM Steve Austin. Christian isn’t pleased but offers to be in Eric’s corner for his match later. Bischoff says he has his own plan and won’t answer what happens in the bedroom with Linda. Eric says he’ll tell everyone later.

We recap A-Train vs. Undertaker. A-Train (Tensai) is working for Vince who is in a semi-war with Taker, setting up tonight’s match. This would evolve into a bigger war soon enough.

Undertaker vs. A-Train

A-Train comes out with Vince’s mistress Sable and Undertaker has bad ribs. Feeling out process to start with A-Train grabbing a few headlocks for early control. Taker hits a quick Russian legsweep for two and he cranks on the arm to set up Old School. The second attempt works a bit better and Taker stays on the arm. A big boot misses and Taker falls out to the floor, reinjuring the ribs.

A-Train starts pounding away on the ribs and sends them into the barricade for two back in the ring. Taker gets in some shots to the ribs of his own for a breather but A-Train comes back with an impressive suplex to take him down. This is the kind of character A-Train was perfect as: a heavy who could do some impressive moves at times. A-Train fights out of a sleeper with a belly to back suplex but Taker hits a quick Snake Eyes to get a breather. A big boot misses the big bald head and a double clothesline puts each other down.

Taker wins a slugout after A-Train hung in there a lot longer than expected. Now the big boot sets up the legdrop (BROTHER) for two and another legdrop to the back of the head with A-Train on the apron has the bald one staggered. The Last Ride is easily broken up but the referee is bumped.

A-Train hits the Derailer (chokebomb) but the delayed count only gets two. Taker accidentally clotheslines the referee down again (the second match does NOT warrant two ref bumps) and A-Train brings in a chair, only to have it cracked over his own head for a near fall. A-Train escapes a tombstone but gets caught in a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. What are you expecting out of this match? This was back when Taker was pretty bad in the ring due to being completely unmotivated and bored with the biker character. Thankfully he would be the Dead Man again by Wrestlemania and would eventually reignite his career around 2007.

Post match Sable tries to seduce Taker for some reason but Stephanie comes in to go after her, presumably setting up a mixed tag.

Coach polls some fans on who wins the Chamber.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff. Shane was feuding with Kane but Bischoff stopped them from fighting. Austin made Bischoff vs. Shane for that night but Kane interfered and cost Shane the match (he later tied Shane to the steps and electrocuted his testicles. It was stupid back then and it’s even worse now. This is what I had to deal with people).

Later, Bischoff caused JR to nearly be lit on fire, so Austin had to prevent a lawsuit by making Kane vs. Bischoff but Kane walked away for some reason, giving Bischoff the win by countout. This was a qualifying match for a Summerslam match with Kane, making our match tonight. Then Bischoff went to Linda’s house and pinned her arm behind her back and kissed her against her will.Think that’s enough to set up this match?

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Eric implies that he screwed Linda several times over that night. This brings out Shane to send Eric into the corner for a beating. Crossface punches send Bischoff to the floor but Shane clotheslines him in the back of the head. Back to ringside and Shane breaks the referee’s count (sidebar: why doesn’t that happen when both guys are on the floor and one guy slides back in at the last second?) before kicking away at Shane even more.

Bischoff is sent into the announce table and stomped down, only to have Coach come in with a chair and turning heel by helping Bischoff. The referee says ring the bell but Bischoff makes it No DQ and falls count anywhere. Shane is sent into the steps for two as Coach is playing the enforcer here. He holds Shane as Bischoff tells the production truck to turn off JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do commentary.

Bischoff starts firing off kicks as Coach does the eternally annoying JR impersonation. This keeps going for awhile until Shane gets in a right hand, only to be dropped by a low blow from Coach. Cue Steve Austin who can’t fight unless physically provoked. Shane shoves Coach into Austin which is enough for the beating to begin. Austin and Shane stomp Coach down in the corner and clear the ring. Austin has the mics turned back on as Shane grabs Eric’s hand and uses it to slap Austin’s face, meaning Austin can Stun Bischoff. That’s not good enough or Shane so he puts Eric on the table for the big elbow for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was a long segment instead of a match. Also to recap how stupid things were at this point, we’re supposed to be interested in Austin/Shane vs. Coach/Bischoff when Austin has equal power to Eric. We also have Stephanie vs. Sable, because EVERYONE wants to see the McMahons dominating the show. This is in addition to Evolution dragging Raw down the drain with the Kevin Nash and Goldberg feuds. See why 2003 is considered so bad?

Wrestlemania moment. Kind of an odd time for one of these but Shawn superkicking Bret was an awesome moment.

We see Kevin Nash getting ready. JR: “Nash is a street fighter at heart.” I haven’t laughed that hard in awhile.

Flair and HHH tell Orton to keep the title on the Game tonight and nothing more.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Eddie has ticked off all three challengers so they all want to take him out. The champion bails to the floor so everyone else can fight and we quickly get down to Rhyno vs. Benoit. Chris hooks a quick Crossface, drawing Eddie in for the save. Tajiri is back in as well but Eddie breaks up a cover. Everyone is in now and all three challengers go after Eddie at the same time.

Rhyno hits a running shoulder to Eddie’s ribs in the corner and powerslams him down for two but Benoit comes back with a German suplex. A belly to back gets two on Tajiri but Eddie makes another save. Benoit is suplexed to the floor and Eddie is left alone with Tajiri, only to have the challenger monkey flip Eddie down for two. Rhyno comes back in and sends Tajiri to the floor but Benoit wants to beat up Eddie himself, triggering a brawl between challengers.

Rhyno gets control again and superplexes Eddie down for two but Tajiri kicks him in the back of the head. Tajiri snaps off the handspring elbow for two on Chris but Rhyno sends Tajiri to the floor, only to have Eddie headscissor him out to the floor. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner for two and it’s Tajiri in again for some hard kicks. Eddie hooks the Lasso From El Paso (Liontamer crossed with the Texas Cloverleaf) on Tajiri but Benoit stops Rhyno from making the save with the Crossface.

Tajiri makes the ropes so Eddie turns around to dropkick Benoit in the head for the save. Benoit grabs the Crossface on Guerrero but Rhyno and Tajiri make the double save. Rhyno hits a spinebuster for two on Tajiri but Benoit knocks Rhyno to the floor. Chris rolls some Germans on Tajiri but Tajiri reverses into one of his own for two on Benoit.

Tajiri catches a charging Benoit in the Tarantula and the distraction lets Eddie get the US Title to shield himself from Rhyno’s Gore. Tajiri breaks up the Frog Splash but gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Benoit Swan Dives Rhyno but Tajiri makes a last second save. Tajiri and Benoit fall to the floor and Eddie frog splashes Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B+. This was non-stop action for about eleven minutes and incredibly entertaining as a result. It’s a great example of how wrestling and action can be so much more interesting than whatever drama the McMahons have going on at the moment. Watching these four make save after save is WAY more fun than hearing about Bischoff forcing himself on Linda or Stephanie being FURIOUS with Sable over whatever affair her dad is having this month.

We recap Brock Lesnar destroying Zack Gowen on Smackdown (good for him). Lesnar had him COVERED in blood and rubbed the blood on his own chest. Gowen had his leg broken in two places so he couldn’t face Matt Hardy tonight. Matt declared himself the winner on Heat like a good heel would.

We recap Angle vs. Lesnar. Angle lost to Brock in the main event of Wrestlemania, leading to Vengeance where Angle pinned Lesnar in a three way to get the title back. The two of them became best friends and friendly rivals, leading to Brock wanting a rematch. Vince said no, but if Lesnar can beat Vince in a cage with Angle as referee, he can have the shot. Before the match, someone attacked Brock and laid him out with a concussion. Brock popped up and turned on Angle, revealing that he’s working for Vince as the new heavy and getting the title shot for tonight. Vince called this the REAL Brock Lesnar.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending of course. Brock shoves him in the corner to show off the power so Angle starts getting lower. They hit the technical stuff on the mat but Brock escapes into a standoff. Brock quickly takes him down with a headscissors but it’s Angle escaping to another stalemate. Lesnar shoves him around with the power so Angle leverages him into the corner and says bring it on. Some quick armdrags send Brock out to the floor and various things are destroyed in frustration.

Lesnar picks up the belt and tries to walk out with it but Kurt pounds him down in the aisle to start the brawling. Back in and Angle snaps off the first overhead belly to belly for two before stomping him down in the corner. Brock comes right back with a gorilla press and throws Angle out to the floor. Angle is sent into the steps as this is far different from the Wrestlemania match. Back in and Brock hits a release belly to belly without leaving his feet.

Angle slips out of another gorilla press and gets two off an O’Connor Roll, only to walk into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. We hit the rear naked choke on Angle which is turned into a bodyscissors. Angle fights up but runs into a knee to the ribs to put him right back down. Kurt is pounded into the corner but grabs a rollup for two, only to be clotheslined back down. The story of this match isn’t working as well as their first fight. This is much more of a traditional wrestling match with good vs. evil and that’s not what these two are best at.

Lesnar comes right back with something like a Muscle Buster for two, followed up by shoulders to the ribs in the corner. Brock sends him into the corner to stay on the ribs and back before firing off more shoulders in the corner. Angle finally moves to avoid a charge, sending Brock shoulder first into the post. A dropkick takes Brock’s knee out and Angle rolls some Germans for a close two. Brock comes back with an overhead belly to belly of his own but Angle pops up and tries the Slam, only to be countered into a spinebuster for a close two. The fans are into this match.

Angle counters an F5 into a DDT and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two for the champion and there go the straps. The Angle Slam connects but Brock is up at two as per tradition. In one of my favorite moments, Angle puts the straps up so he can take them back down, firing himself up even more. There’s the ankle lock but Brock makes a rope. Angle pulls him back so the rope doesn’t count in a questionable call, so Lesnar rolls out, bumping the referee in the process.

Lesnar sends him into the corner and Angle tries a sunset flip but stops before going down, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck in a choke before putting on another ankle lock. Lesnar eventually taps but there’s no referee so here’s Vince with a chair to Angle’s back to break the hold. Brock gets to his one good foot and hits a pretty awesome one legged F5 for a delayed two. Vince demands another F5 but Angle counters into the ankle lock. Brock grabs the rope but again Angle pulls him to the middle for no break. Brock grabs all four bottom ropes but the referee doesn’t break it, forcing Brock to tap out.

Rating: B. It’s a good match but the ending never worked for me. At the end of the day, if you touch the ropes the hold is supposed to be broken. That’s wrestling 101, but for some reason it doesn’t count at the end of this match. The match was good but it was overbooked when you have these two being able to own whatever ring they’re in. The Vince stuff was annoying but that’s what you have to expect in WWE.

Post match Vince tries to jump Angle again but gets Angle Slammed through a chair for his efforts. And on Vince’s birthday too.

Goldberg is listening to an iPod to get ready. That’s such a wrong image.

Some Arizona Diamondbacks are here.

We recap Kane vs. RVD. They had been friends and tag champions but Kane lost a match to HHH, forcing him to unmask. This unleashed Kane’s inner demons for the 10^th time or so, turning him into a psycho who lit JR on fire. Kane swore everyone was laughing at him even though RVD told him everything was fine. Kane beat up RVD in a match and tombstoned Linda McMahon on a stage to start his feud with Shane, leading to a rematch with Rob here tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Fink says this is No Holds Barred. So does that make Kane Zeus? JR calls Kane an inbred mongrel dog, which isn’t that high up on his list of sayings. Van Dam fires off right hands to start but Kane takes him to the floor with a few uppercuts. Kane charges into a boot and gets kicked in the face to put the monster down. Kane easily slugs him down and pulls out a ladder. Van Dam manages to smash the end of it to drive the ladder into Kane’s face, only to have Rolling Thunder caught by the throat.

RVD kicks out of the chokeslam but gets knocked out to the floor as the brawl continues. Kane sends him into the steps and is in full on monster mode. Back in and Van Dam scores with a kick and some shoulders to the ribs for two. Rob goes up top but gets shoved down onto the barricade to give Kane control again. A ladder to the face gets two back in the ring and a big clothesline puts Van Dam down again.

We hit the slow motion part of the match as Kane pounds on Van Dam very slowly to stop the crowd from being interested. Van Dam is backdropped to the floor but Kane badly botches the top rope clothesline, nearly falling on his head and dying. Kane avoids another ladder shot and DDTs Van Dam on he floor, only to have Rob catch a charging Kane in a drop toehold to send him face first into the steps. Kane is kicked into the crowd and crotched as he tries to come back to ringside.

Van Dam’s spin kick off the apron puts Kane down again as this match just keeps going. Back in and Rolling Thunder onto the chair crushes Kane but Rob can’t follow up. Kane sits up but gets caught by a Van Daminator. Rob loads up the Van Terminator but Kane rolls away at the last second. They head to the floor and Kane tombstones Rob onto the steps, killing him dead for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was an ok brawl but it went on WAY too long. At the end of the day this was just a rest stop on the way to Kane vs. Shane next month which was probably the more interesting feud anyway. The match was Van Dam trying his best but not being able to keep Kane down. It certainly wasn’t a squash but it wasn’t many steps above one.

Eric is annoyed that Terri is asking him questions. Linda comes in and slaps Bischoff in the face.

HHH looks at the world title.

The Chamber is lowered.

We recap the world title match. There isn’t much to this other than HHH is injured and can’t fight Goldberg one on one so we get an Elimination Chamber instead. Goldberg is in for obvious reasons, Jericho and Nash have been feuding lately, Orton is there to give HHH a hand and Shawn is there for past issues with HHH. This gets the music video treatment, set to St. Anger by Metallica.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

After about 12 minutes of entrances we start with Shawn vs. Jericho, who will go for three minutes. After that time is up, a pod will open to release another wrestler. Three more minutes and another pod opens. This repeats until everyone is in and it’s last man standing wins. Eliminations can occur at any time and have to take place in the ring, not on the cage floor outside the ring next to the pods. They trade hammerlocks to start until Jericho rolls through a cross body for two.

They trade chain wrestling moves into a pinfall reversal sequence as the fans chant for Goldberg. Back up and Shawn slaps him in the face before backdropping him down. Jericho’s Walls attempt is countered into a small package for two but Jericho comes back with a bulldog to take Shawn down. JR screws up the world title continuity by saying the title has only changed hands once in Phoenix, but that’s the other world title. Not that it matters to WWE but they make such a big deal about the continuity that it’s worth pointing out.

Anyway Orton is #3 and gets two off a high cross to Shawn. Michaels is clotheslined to the cage floor but he comes back in to pound away on Jericho. Randy dropkicks him down and stomps Jericho down against the ropes but can’t RKO Shawn. Instead Orton is sent to the cage floor by a combined effort, only to have Jericho put Shawn in the Walls. Kevin Nash is in at #4 to make the save and go after Jericho as Shawn and Orton brawl in the ring. Jericho’s face is rubbed against the cage to give us our first blood.

Nash (with short blonde hair here for a movie) cleans house but walks into a superkick into a rollup for the pin by Jericho. Nash was in there about two minutes or so. HHH is #5 but Shawn superkicks him before he can get out of the pod to make sure the injured champion doesn’t have to do much. Nash lays out Jericho, Orton and Shawn with Jackknives, leaving everyone down for a massive dead spot. Shawn is busted as well.

They finally get back up to slug it out as JR talks about Oklahoma for no apparent reason. Here’s Goldberg at #6 to FINALLY wake the crowd up a bit. He cleans house and clotheslines Jericho and Shawn down before spearing Orton down for the pin, leaving us with four. Jericho hits a quick missile dropkick for two on Goldberg but he launches Chris into the cage to put him back down.

Goldberg sends Shawn into the corner before spearing Jericho through the glass pod. Goldberg is dazed though, allowing Shawn to drop the elbow to set up Sweet Chin Music. This is Goldberg though so the kick is blocked by a spear and the Jackhammer gets us down to three. A quick spear and Jackhammer to Jericho leaves us with HHH vs. Goldberg. HHH is still in the pod as he’s been in the match for about six minutes now and literally hasn’t done anything.

Flair shoves the pod door closed to save HHH so Goldberg kicks the pod door in so we can actually have a match. Goldberg pounds away in the pod before sending HHH face first into the cage. The champion is busted open but he FINALLY gets in a kick to the leg and sends Goldberg into the cage. Goldberg comes right back with a clothesline and they head into the ring. The spear is loaded up but hits the sledgehammer that Flair slid in, keeping the title on HHH.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work very well and the ending sums up everything wrong with Raw in 2003. The fans were primed for a Goldberg title win, HHH was injured and had no business being in the match anyway, Goldberg dominated the match, HHH literally hit two offensive moves in ten minutes of match time, but HHH uses the sledgehammer to retain the title. Yeah Goldberg got the title a month later, but THIS is the match people remember because THIS is the big show. HHH wins at the big show, the monster wins the next month at the B show. Does this sound familiar to fans in 2013?

As for the rest of the match, there’s nothing going on here. It’s less than twenty minutes long from bell to bell and the three minute intervals really hold this down. No one had time to do anything, making it more like the 1995 Rumble than anything else. It’s just not very good and the ending sucked whatever life it had out of the match. Again, 2003 Raw just wasn’t that good and this match sums up why.

Post match HHH and Evolution gets to destroy Goldberg again with the hammer to really pound in who is the star. Goldberg is handcuffed to the cage so HHH can shove the belt in his face and remind him who the champion is to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s some good stuff on here but the HHH factor drags it down again. I’ve said this a lot tonight but 2003 just wasn’t a good year overall. It’s a bunch of matches and feuds that people don’t want to see but we have the same McMahon nonsense over and over again because WWE is their playground and they can do whatever they like. Over on Raw HHH gets to keep the title FOREVER despite being hurt and having beasts like Benoit and Guerrero waiting in the wings to be the next guys. Did they pan out in the end? No, but at this point no one knew that was the case and HHH got the title as a result.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: C

Redo: D+

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

Redo: N/A

Tajiri vs. Rhyno vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B-

Redo: B+

Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

Redo: B

Rob Van Dam vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Goldberg vs. HHH vs. Kevin Nash vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C

So I liked almost all of the matches more or the same the first time, but the overall rating is much higher this time. Not surprising.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #180
Date: March 15, 1999
Location: Firstar Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

We’re past Uncensored and a lot of stuff has changed in WCW. Above all else, Flair won the World Title with the help of Arn Anderson, but it seems to have taken place with a double turn. Hogan was definitely wrestling like a good guy but Flair was somewhere in the middle. Other than that Booker T. is now the TV Champion and Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko picked up the Tag Team Titles as they should have three weeks ago. Spring Stampede is in four weeks so let’s get to it.

We open with David Flair checking into a hotel when the Denise chick from last week shows up. She recognizes him from TV and tries to make some small talk but David isn’t interested.

Tony recaps last night’s events.

Stills of Whipwreck vs. Kidman.

We go to the University of Cincinnati for the Nitro Party with….Lodi?

Stills of the Jerry Flynn match. I really wouldn’t remind people that they’ll be paying for that when they buy a pay per view.

Here’s a press conference with Sonny Onoo and Ernest Miller. Ernest insists to only be called The Cat from now on. He insists that he’s undefeated here in WCW and knows he’s the greatest. This keeps going as Cat challenges a member of the media to a fight.

Meng vs. Jerry Flynn

Meng goes right at him and hammers away but misses a charge into the corner. Flynn comes back with a spinning kick to the head, but since Meng is a monster, Flynn is quickly flying through the air. A clothesline has no effect on Meng but a powerslam puts him down. Flynn’s ankle lock doesn’t get him anywhere and Meng gets two off a piledriver. A shoulder breaker gets the same but Flynn comes back with a cross armbreaker. Meng powers out of it and the Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the win and a BIG ovation.

Rating: D. Thank goodness this was the end of Jerry Flynn’s push. Meng has a way longer shelf life than Flynn could ever hope to and the match made him look like a killer. Flynn looked so one dimensional out there and it was really hard to sit through. When Meng is outshining you, you know you’re in trouble.

Clip of a movie called Ravenous.

Nitro Party stuff.

Clips of Beach Brawl on MTV, a show with WCW wrestling and music.

Denise gets into the elevator with David Flair and David still doesn’t want to talk. After a break, her room key won’t work and she goes into his room to use the phone. David is getting annoyed.

Stills of the hardcore triple threat last night.

Raven is at the Nitro Party and the annoying host asks about Chastity betraying him last night. Raven understands since he set her hair on fire when she was six. Family functions suck and he only goes for the money anyway. He’s going to crush her and Hak like Jerry Falwell at one of Saturn’s bondage balls.

Chris Adams vs. Rick Steiner

They trade forearms to start with Rick taking over via the powerslam/suplex. I’m still not sure which it actually is. A belly to belly puts Adams down and they slug it out again. Adams snapmares Rick into a sleeper before nailing the superkick for two. Rick catches him in another belly to belly followed by the Steiner Line and Steiner Bulldog for the pin.

Rating: C. Considering I was expecting a total squash, this was a really nice surprise. Adams was on for this one and got to show off a little bit, which isn’t something you see that often as he never meant anything in WCW. Rick isn’t doing much at this point as he doesn’t have much of a story other than wanting to fight his brother.

Tenay tells us to call the Hotline.

Disco Inferno comes up to the announcers’ desk and asks why he isn’t getting a music video. He’s tired of seeing Konnan’s music video over and over again (preach it brother) but here it is again. However, we have a swerve: it’s a parody video with Disco dancing badly and singing the song (off a paper and still getting it wrong). This was actually funny.

Konnan t-shirt ad.

Back to the hotel but with Nash and Sam watching from a remote location. Denise tries to seduce him again but David says he’s in love with someone already. We even get the shot of her leg on a bed and David saying “Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?” To be fair they did say her last name was Robinson last week. Sam seems taken aback by David’s words so Nash gets a bit testy with her. He says he got her out of some situation in Detroit and Torrie says she’s paid him back for some of that. Nash doesn’t think it’s been enough. Things never got heated but Nash was clearly annoyed.

Norman Smiley is at the Nitro Party and tries to teach the host to dance.

Stills of Hogan vs. Flair.

Tony says next up is Monday Nitro Live. I have no idea what the Live thing is supposed to be, unless Tony is bragging about the show being how it’s been almost every week for three and a half years.

Opening sequence, so either the first hour was taped in advance (why?) or they’re calling the last two hours Monday Nitro Live.

Nitro Girls.

A bandaged Ric Flair shows up, accompanied by some ladies, Arn Anderson and Charles Robinson. They come out to the ring for a chat with Gene and the fans seem very happy to see him. This is the start of the second hour so at least WCW is FINALLY starting the head to head period with something interesting.

Gene brings up the questionable officiating but Arn cuts him off and says Gene needs to congratulate all three new champions. As for Robinson, all he’s doing is dressing a little bit more professionally and he called that match like the professional he is. Gene says it was a fast count last night, which is true to a degree but Hogan was out cold so it didn’t make a difference.

Also, there are WAY bigger problems with that match than the speed of the count. Like, there being a count in general. Robinson says he called the match fairly and Flair’s wounds were superficial. Hogan on the other hand was a badly beaten man and Flair had given him discretion to make the call.

Anyway, Flair says he is the most powerful person in WCW and the sport of wrestling because he’s both the President and the World Champion. This brings out Goldberg of all people and Flair asks if he’s here to congratulate him for being the champion or the boss. Goldberg says he had Flair begging and pleading for his life last week and Ric is looking at the #1 contender. He wants a title shot tonight but here’s Kevin Nash to object.

Nash says he should be the #1 contender because Flair robbed Hogan of the title. Goldberg gets in his face but Nash says that he’s the one loss on Goldberg’s record. Flair says cool it and Anderson says Goldberg wouldn’t have won what he did if the Horsemen had been a factor but Goldberg threatens him with a spear. Nash says he should get the shot but here’s a ticked off Hogan to interrupt. He says he got stabbed in the back last night because he should still be champion.

Flair says he and Anderson have a party to go to but Hogan says Flair bought his women. Hollywood wants a shot and says Nash can slap old baldie around a little bit. Flair tells them he’s leaving again but Nash suggests a tag match. Goldberg and Flair stare each other down and Goldberg nails him. Hogan throws Goldberg a mic and the monster says he’ll be Flair’s partner to get the belt. Goldberg leaves and Flair makes the match. This was a REALLY good segment but was screaming for the announcement of a fourway.

Vince yells at Horace for screwing up last night. They yell at each other and both declare themselves the leader of the Black and White.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kidman

Kidman is defending and this really should have been saved for Spring Stampede. Kidman quickly sends him into the buckle and nails a clothesline but misses a charge, sending him out to the floor. Rey hits a nice running hurricanrana off the apron but gets dropkicked out of the air on a springboard attempt. They’re already back on the floor with Kidman nailing a springboard plancha as we take a break.

Back with Rey headscissoring Kidman out to the floor before hitting a huge running flip dive to take the champion down. Kidman comes back in and slams Rey down, only to get crotched on the top for a huge Frankensteiner to give Mysterio two. A faceplant and BK Bomb get two each for the champion but the Shooting Star misses. Rey nails a springboard hurricanrana for a very hot near fall. Kidman comes back with a Bodog but gets crotched when loading up another Shooting Star. The sitout bulldog off the top gives Rey the title back.

Rating: B+. This was really good stuff with both guys looking like equals out there. I would have loved this to go another five or even ten minutes as the commercial cut out almost half of the match. Mysterio taking Kidman down is fine as Kidman didn’t have anyone in the division left to beat. Awesome match.

They shake hands post match.

Stevie yells at Horace but Horace says he’s the NWO boss. Stevie decks him and Disco comes in, wanting to know what happened. Disco is told to find out what’s going on from Hollywood and Stevie leaves. Horace says he wants Stevie in the ring tonight.

Gene brings out the new Tag Team Champions for a chat. The belts look bigger than usual and really stiff. Benoit says their win last night was a testament to the trust and confidence they have in each other. Malenko says they’re ready to defend the titles tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Hugh Morrus/Barbarian

Benoit stomps Barbarian into the corner to start but Barbarian comes back with kicks of his own. Off to Morrus as the First Family takes over on the Canadian. Benoit will have none of that and chops away as everything breaks down. The Horsemen double team Morrus into Benoit dropkicking him in the face for two. Malenko suplexes him down for two and drop toeholds Barbaian for two more.

Dean is sent to the floor and Hart gets in a few cheap shots before it’s back to Barbarian for a side slam. Back to Morrus who hooks a kind of seated abdominal stretch before Barbarian comes in for some heavy stomping. We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s back to Morrus for a chinlock of his own. Barbarian puts on a front facelock and we get the referee misses the tag spot. Morrus misses a top rope elbow and now we get the hot tag to Chris. The Crossface goes on but Barbarian makes an early save. Dean gets taken down by a gutbuster but Barbarian’s Kick of Fear hits Morrus, setting up the Swan Dive to retain.

Rating: C. This went on a bit long but followed the tag team formula pretty well. Malenko and Benoit piling up wins over lower level teams is a good idea and will make them look like a dominant team as they should. Morrus and Barbarian didn’t seem to have enough variety to make it through a nine minute match.

The Horsemen want the Outsiders.

Nitro Girls.

Here are Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell so Scott can complain about Cincinnati sports teams being terrible. He’s the best athlete in the city and has the finest mind to back it up. Last night, somebody made a mental error and he’s talking to Buff. Steiner says he taught Buff how to train his body but his mind hasn’t followed. Since Buff hurt his neck, maybe he doesn’t hold up anymore.

Buff says look at the crowd and see all their Buff Daddy signs. Bagwell has been making Steiner look like a million dollars, but maybe Scott is getting jealous. Steiner says Buff was nothing without the NWO and will be nothing without it again. Buff tries to defuse things and they shake hands, but Steiner suplexes Buff out of the NWO. He nails Bagwell with a chair a few times and slaps on the Recliner. It came off like a face turn for Buff, which should be the easiest idea in the world after his injury. Therefore, I doubt it has much of a chance.

Horace vs. Stevie Ray

Horace jumps him to start and the brawl heads outside with Stevie hammering away and sending Horace into the barricade. The announcers debate whether Lexington on Thursday will be as hot of a crowd on Thursday as the crowd tonight in Cincinnati. Back in and Horace stomps away but walks into a side slam. Vince comes out with a chair and stands on the apron, telling Horace to ram Stevie into steel. Instead Stevie knocks Horace into it and grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Didn’t we cover this last night? What’s the point in having these guys around if they’re just going to keep fighting over who is in charge? Hopefully the team doesn’t last that much longer as there’s no need to keep them around. Unfortunately Norton, the only guy that I kind of like out of the team, is being lost in the shuffle.

Disco Inferno vs. Konnan

You would think this would get a longer build. Konnan starts with a wristdrag out of the corner as Tony talks about how awesome it is that WCW is stacking the deck against the NWO. I do love hypocrisy in my announcers. Konnan stomps away but Disco snapmares him down and gets two off a middle rope elbow.

A chinlock doesn’t last long but it’s time to dance. Konnan comes back with the 187 for two and Disco goes to the floor to check his hair. We take a break and come back with Disco stomping away as Luger and Liz come to the ring. Konnan hits the rolling lariat and an X-Factor but Liz distracts the referee. Luger gets in a cheap shot and the Chartbuster gives Disco the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and I’m not sure where Konnan goes from here. My best guess would be a rematch with Disco as Luger is still hurt, but it’s kind of a stupid idea to have them fight this early. It didn’t help that the match really wasn’t all that good. Disco getting another win isn’t the worst thing in the world either.

Nitro Girls.

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho, sporting bad ribs, is challenging and there’s no Ralphus. Some elbows to the jaw have Booker in trouble and Jericho runs him over with a shoulder block. Booker comes back with an armbar before kicking Jericho in the face. There’s a side slam as the announcers talk for the fifth time about a party they went to with Flair last night. Jericho sends him out to the floor and rams Booker into the steps.

We take a break and come back with Booker avoiding a dropkick before catapulting Jericho face first into the buckle. Jericho comes back with a rollup for two as the announcers talk about the territory system and how it’s easier to win World Titles now. The Lionsault gets two for Chris but it hurts his ribs again. A spinwheel kick nails Jericho and there’s the spinebuster for two. The ax kick connects but Jericho pulls the referee in the way of Booker’s missile dropkick for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It’s clear that Jericho just does not care at this point and can you blame him? He’s been doing the same stuff for months now and hasn’t gotten any advancement after the awesome year he had in 1998. The match was nothing special and Jericho was just going through the motions. He would be gone soon.

Kevin Nash/Hollywood Hogan vs. Ric Flair/Goldberg

Goldberg comes out last and Robinson is the guest referee. Goldberg gorilla presses Flair to start and Nash plants him with a side slam. It’s already off to Hogan to pound on Flair in the corner. The Flair Flip puts the champion on the apron for a big boot from Nash. After a quick beating on the floor, Flair comes back in and tags in Goldberg for the showdown with Hogan.

Goldberg counters a suplex into one of his own and Hogan pops up. He runs Goldberg over with a clothesline but it’s Goldberg back up and nailing Hogan to take over. They slug it out and Hogan can’t seem to hurt Goldberg. Hollywood blocks an Irish whip and hammers away but gets nailed in the jaw.

Nash gets in a cheap shot from the apron and now the NWO takes over. Now it’s a ticked off Nash coming in and pounding Goldberg down in the corner but it’s back to Hogan after maybe 45 seconds. That goes nowhere so here’s Nash to loudly tell Goldberg to powerslam him. Goldberg does exactly as he’s told but Flair won’t tag in. Hogan comes back in for a belly to back suplex before bringing Nash back in. A low blow stops a Goldberg comeback and Hogan slugs away in the corner.

Goldberg nails a big shoulder and Flair does the clap for a fake tag which Robinson allows, even though Goldberg says it didn’t happen. Hogan no sells the chops and Hulks Up to the big fan reaction. A big boot drops Goldberg but he’s right back up with a superkick to Nash. There’s the legdrop to Hogan but Robinson shakes his head no. Hogan lays out the crooked referee but gets speared down by Hogan as we’re out of time.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting as Hogan was doing his old tag team formula very well for a change. Hogan turning face again would be fine any other time, but he’s been done so much to Flair that the double turn isn’t working. Then again, this is WCW where logic goes out the window for the wrestlers’ wishes.

Overall Rating: B-. If this was a two hour show, it’s one of the best Nitros of all time. The first hour and the rest of the show drags a lot of the really good stuff. The Cruiserweight Title match was good and the fourway promo with Flair and company had me wanting to see them go at it at Spring Stamped. Unfortunately there’s a lot of stuff changing between now and then. Still though, this was a really solid episode, assuming you forget the waste of a first hour.

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Today is one of the best big men ever: Kevin Nash.

Nash got his start in 1990 in WCW as Steel of the Master Blasters tag team. For once we’re getting started very close to his debut. From Clash of the Champions XII.

Brad Armstrong/Tim Horner vs. Master Blasters

Armstrong is in another failed gimmick here: the Candyman. The Master Blasters are two monsters named Iron and Steel who look like they belong in a futuristic action movie. Iron would only wrestle a handful of matches and then be replaced by a new Master Blaster named Blade. Steel is more famous as Kevin Nash and this is his (and the team’s) debut. Steel throws Horner into the corner and it’s off to Iron for some power brawling.

Horner avoids a charge in the corner from Steel and a headbutt from Iron, allowing for the hot tag to Brad. Iron immediately pounds Armstrong down in the corner but Steel misses an elbow drop. A flying tackle puts Brad down again though and a legdrop gets two for Iron. Armstrong scores with a dropkick and makes the tag off to Horner as things speed up a bit. Horner puts on a sleeper and everything breaks down with the Blasters hitting a double shoulder block for the pin on Tim.

Rating: D. The match was nothing more than a squash and the Blasters certainly destroyed Horner and Armstrong, but they looked very sloppy in doing so. A lot of their offense wasn’t connecting cleanly and most of what they were doing didn’t look good. To be fair though it was their first match and the more talented (though still a rookie) Al Green would replace Iron very soon to settle things down a bit.

Now a singles match from SuperBrawl I under a rather infamous gimmick.

Oz vs. Tim Parker

And here it begins. For the life of me, I will never understand this. Ted Turner bought up the rights to a ton of movies, so he decided to use WCW to build up hype for them, like he’s doing here. When I say Oz, I mean the title character from the movie. Kevin Nash is billed as being from the Emerald City and has Merlin the Wizard (Kevin Sullivan) with him. We actually have Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man, the Lion and Toto, in costume.

I wish I was making this up but sadly, it’s true. They’re actually doing a scene with the movie on the stage. The fans are LIVID. I mean this goes on nearly 5 minutes, until Oz says he’s going to go show people who he really is. He comes to the ring in lime green pants and with a big white wig and reveals himself to be the at the time unknown Kevin Nash. The match goes thirty seconds as he puts him up for a powerbomb and then just spins him around and lets him go so he crashes in a great visual.

Rating: F-. Since this went on for three months plus. I mean dude, the Wizard and Oz? Who in the world thought this was a good idea? Also, Merlin in the Wizard of Oz? I know this company wasn’t known for its intelligence but how can you possibly get that wrong? Read a book or watch a movie people!

Another gimmick from Clash XVIII.

Vinnie Vegas vs. Thomas Rich

Vegas is a greasy gambler from his namesake city and portrayed by Kevin Nash, formerly known as Oz. Jim Ross of course acts like he’s never seen the man before. Vegas hammers away before taking his jacket off and choking Rich against the ropes. He lifts Rich onto his shoulder and drops him face first on the top turnbuckle in a move called Snake Eyes for the pin in less than a minute.

It was off to the WWF after this, as Shawn Michaels thought Nash was perfect as a bodyguard. Nash wanted to go and told WCW that he was leaving the business. He was in the WWF like a day later. Here’s one of his first major matches from Survivor Series 1993.

Team IRS vs. Team Razor Ramon

IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel
Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect

IRS and Ramon are feuding over Razor’s IC Title, Martel was the guy Ramon beat for the title, Diesel and Adam Bomb are just there to fill in spots, Jannetty and Kid are a semi-regular tag team and Perfect….isn’t here. Ramon talks about Perfect leaving (his back messed up again and he just kind of left for five months) but he’s got a treat for us. He’s got a surprise partner and it’s……RANDY SAVAGE! Heenan LOSES IT and the crowd does too. This is when Savage wanted to murder Crush, who is in the main event tonight.

Heenan apparently called Perfect no showing this and Vince says Heenan was right for once. Bobby: “FOR ONCE???” Oh yes Bobby is feeling it tonight. Ramon and Martel start things off with Rick working on the arm. They fight for the arm and hit the mat for a bit before popping back up. Razor slaps him in the face and rolls through a cross body for two. Martel gets caught in the fallaway slam (BIG pop for that) for two.

Razor hits a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Off to Adam Bomb who shoves Ramon into the corner with ease. They collide and Razor is knocked down in something which shouldn’t surprise anyone. They have a test of strength with Bomb controlling again before Ramon fights up and suplexes Bomb down.

Martel tries to save but elbows Bomb by mistake. Harvey Whippleman (Bomb’s manager) gets up on the apron and is knocked down, causing a big fight between IRS’ team. Ramon’s team, somehow thinking coherently given how many drugs must be in them, actually uses common sense and lets them fight. We get things settled down and it’s the Kid vs. Bomb. Kid tries a sunset flip and Bomb (about 6’8 and 300lbs) is like boy please.

Off to Diesel who throws Kid around even harder. Who thought it was a good idea to put the Kid in there against the biggest and strongest opponents? A gutwrench powerbomb from Diesel leaves Kid laying and a big boot does the same. Kid finally hits a spin kick and it’s off to Savage who destroys the entire team, including sending Bomb into Diesel. A slam puts Diesel down and the flying elbow makes it 4-3. Write that down as you may never see Nash do another clean job.

Martel charges in and rams Savage face first into the buckle. Since it’s 1993, Martel’s offense has almost no effect and Savage takes over. Off to IRS who has a bit better luck as he takes Savage into the corner but gets cross bodied for two. Back to Ramon who works on the arm but as he hits the ropes, Martel hits Razor in the back to slow the Bad Guy (Razor’s nickname) down.

Bomb comes back in to power Razor around a bit but it’s quickly back to Martel. Make that IRS who works on Razor’s back. We hit the chinlock and the heels switch a few times without tagging. Off to Macho Man again who knees IRS into the corner. A slam looks to set up the Elbow but here comes Crush. Savage sees him and immediately goes after him but is sent back into the ring and rolled up by IRS for the pin and elimination.

Savage chases Crush into the back and looks for him in the locker rooms as the match is still going on. Savage doesn’t find him so we’ll continue this game later. We come back to the ring to see Adam Bomb choking away on Jannetty and stomping him in the corner. Martel hooks an abdominal stretch for a few seconds but a corner charge hits the post and it’s back to Ramon.

Razor pounds away on IRS and hits a chokeslam followed by the Razor’s Edge for the pin and the 3-2 advantage. Everything breaks down and as Razor loads up the Edge on Martel, IRS hits him in the ribs with his briefcase. Ramon rolls to the floor and gets counted out to tie things up again. So it’s Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Martel/Bomb. The Kid gets sent to the floor and slammed down by Bomb who hits a slingshot clothesline to take the Kid down back inside.

Off to Martel as the Kid is in a lot of trouble. Martel drops some knees on the back for two as Vince says the Kid has a lot of heart. Heenan: “THEN KICK HIM IN THE HEART!” Martel jumps into a right hand to the ribs and there’s the tag to Jannetty who cleans house. Back to the Kid way too soon for a double back elbow and a sunset flip to eliminate Martel. Kid immediately tags in Jannetty who sunset flips Bomb for the pin ten seconds after Martel was eliminated. REALLY hot ending here.

Rating: B. I really liked this match as it was fast paced and a ton of fun. If you cut about five minutes from this, it’s a classic. Having Jannetty and the Kid be the survivors was a very nice surprise and it gave the fans something to cheer for. Really liked this one and it puts the show off on the right foot.

It was off to a singles run after this, including this match from Superstars on April 13, 1994.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Razor is defending. Razor charges to the ring and the brawl is on fast as Ramon is actually big enough to hang in a fist fight with Diesel. The champion ducks a big boot and punches Diesel to the floor but Diesel snaps Razor’s throat across the top rope to take over. Back in and the side slam gets two as we take a break.

Back with Diesel dropping an elbow on Ramon’s back for two. Razor fights out of a reverse chinlock with an impressive electric chair. The middle rope bulldog gets two and Shawn gets on the top rope, only to get knocked off when Diesel is sent into the buckle. Shawn pulled the buckle pad down with him though, allowing Diesel to whip Ramon into the steel, setting up a Jackknife for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This was intense while it lasted but it wasn’t all that great. Amazingly enough the Kliq would rarely work hard against anyone outside of their group and that’s pretty much what happened here. Luckily we got some good matches as a result, but this wasn’t one of the better ones.

Shawn and Diesel would win the Tag Team Titles a few months later before splitting at Survivor Series. Three days later, this happened in Madison Square Garden.

WWF Title: Diesel vs. Bob Backlund

Bell, kick to the ribs, Jackknife, new champion.

Diesel would defend against Bret Hart at the 1995 Royal Rumble.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Diesel is defending in case you’re really slow. Bret tries to brawl to start but is almost immediately knocked down by a big shot to the face. A clothesline puts Bret on the floor where he chills for a bit. Back in and Bret goes after the knee like a smart Hitman. He puts on a quick Figure Four and after a good deal of time in it, Diesel gets to the rope. Bret does something you hardly ever see enough: he puts the same hold back on. Why don’t more people do that? He had Diesel in trouble, so why mess with what was working?

Diesel makes the rope again and heads to the floor where Bret hits a suicide dive to have the champ reeling. Diesel shrugs it off and sends Hart into the steps to get a breather. With Bret in the ropes, Diesel hits the running crotch attack to his back. There’s a backbreaker to Bret and Diesel bends him across the knee a bit. Bret fires off some right hands but gets whipped hard into the buckle to stop him cold.

The champ loads up the Jackknife but instead puts Bret on his shoulder for a backbreaker. Why he doesn’t JACKKNIFE HIM WHEN HE HAS THE CHANCE is beyond my intelligence as Bret escapes. A big boot (Diesel’s leg seems fine) puts Bret down for two, but Bret gets a boot up of his own, followed by a middle rope clothesline for two. Hart goes up and Diesel tries to slam him off, but the knee goes out, giving Bret a two count.

The kickout sends Bret to the floor and he pulls Diesel’s legs out for the figure four around the post. Actually scratch that as he ties Diesel’s legs together instead and pounds away. The Five Moves of Doom get two but Diesel grabs a rope to block the Sharpshooter. Bret clotheslines him to the floor but a dive is caught in mid-air. The tall guy rams him into the post and hits the Jackknife in the ring, but Shawn Michaels runs in to break up the count.

Shawn beats on Diesel’s leg which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Shawn and Diesel had split up at Survivor Series if you’re wondering why this beating is happening. We get a ruling that the match must continue to the delight (yes I said delight) of the crowd. Bret goes back to the knee, hooking another Figure Four. Diesel can’t get to the ropes so he hits Bret in the bad ribs to escape. Ah selling, how I love you.

Diesel is all ticked off now and pounds away on Bret in the corner. A gutwrench suplex of all things gets two for the champ but a big boot in the corner misses. Bret wraps Diesel’s leg around the post and blasts it with a chair. There’s the Sharpshooter but now it’s Owen coming in for the save and a beatdown on Bret. I would say there’s a great tag match in there, but Bret and Shawn teaming up would mean the end of the world as we know it.

The match is going to continue AGAIN though and Diesel gets two on Bret. The place is starting to lose its minds over these near falls. Bret sends him into the buckle that Owen exposed and pounds away as Diesel is rocking again. Diesel comes back AGAIN with elbows and forearms to the face before punching Bret into the ropes where Hart’s legs are caught. Bret is holding his knee but you never know with him.

Yep, he stands up and lays back down in some classic Hart goldbricking. Diesel goes for the Jackknife but Bret fakes him into a small package for two. Bret tries an O’Connor Roll and the referee is bumped. Backlund, Michaels, Roadie and Jarrett run in and that’s FINALLY enough for the double DQ.

Rating: A. These two had MAD chemistry together and this was no exception. They knew how to work the David vs. Goliath (I’m not sure how fair it is to call Bret David actually) formula to perfection and the matches were great as a result. Why the company kept going with Diesel vs. power guys is beyond me, because his best stuff comes against small guys like Bret and Shawn and always has.

And again at Survivor Series 1995.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and this is No DQ and No countout. Diesel immediately takes a buckle pad off, so Bret takes another one off to match him. Bret immediately charges him into the corner and goes after the leg but Diesel pounds him over the back to take over. Diesel knocks him to the floor and Bret is limping. The champ follows him out and hits a HARD ax handle to put Bret down again. It’s a slow start so far but they have a lot of time.

Hart gets sent into the barricade and goes back in but he bails to the floor immediately. Back in and Diesel wins a slugout, knocking Bret to the floor with a big right hand. Diesel whips him into the steps and keeps the pace slow. A theme of the promos had been wearing Bret tiring Diesel out so there’s some good psychology going on here. Diesel puts Bret down with a hard chair shot to the back and Hart is reeling.

Back in and Diesel loads up the Jackknife but Bret keeps grabbing the leg to block it. Now he bites the champ’s hands to escape. The fans are starting to get into this too. Bret goes for the knee and the champ is in trouble. They do the same opening sequence as Bret goes for the knee but Diesel hits him in the back. This time though, Bret gets him down and cranks on the knee. See, THAT is storytelling.

Perfect says the line that always gets on my nerves of “they’re all the same size on the mat.” JR properly says “the size and power advantage are negated on the mat.” What JR says is true. Diesel is still however bigger than Bret on the mat or standing up. Anyway, Bret cannonballs down onto the knee and there’s the Figure Four. Diesel makes the rope but Bret stays on the bad leg.

Hart tries the Sharpshooter but Diesel thumbs him in the eyes before kicking him into the exposed buckle. Bret picks the leg again and wraps it around the post before tying a cord of some kind around the post. He ties the other end of the cord to Diesel’s leg, making the champion a sitting duck. Bret gets a chair but Diesel uses the free leg for a big boot. Diesel crawls for the chair but Bret gets to it first and wears out the knee with chair shots. The leg is still tied to the post.

With the leg still attached, Bret pulls off the backbreaker. Bret takes the chair to the top but Diesel punches him down to crotch Bret. Hart gets slammed to the mat, giving Diesel the chance to untie his ankle. Diesel chokes Bret with the cord and hits the side slam for two. Diesel sends Bret chest first into the exposed corner and puts him in 619 position for the running crotch attack, but he can’t run because of the bad leg. Instead he jumps into the air and crashes down on Bret, which looks more painful than the running version.

Diesel can barely hit Snake Eyes onto a covered buckle and Bret is in trouble. He tries another one but Bret escapes and rams Diesel into the exposed buckle. A Hart Attack clothesline gets two on the champ and Bret starts his comeback. That would be his second comeback if you’re keeping track. A middle rope clothesline gets two as does a Russian Legsweep. Bret clotheslines Diesel to the floor and tries a plancha but Diesel just steps to the side and lets Bret crash.

Bret starts getting back to the apron but Diesel knocks him off, and for the first time ever, through the Spanish Announce Table. They head back inside and Diesel calls for the Jackknife but Bret falls onto his face from exhaustion. Diesel picks him up to try again but BRET IS GOLDBRICKING and rolls Diesel up for the title out of nowhere, shocking the fans.

Rating: A. Outstanding match here with both guys looking awesome. It takes the right kind of opponent to get a great match out of Nash, but when you put a smaller guy like Bret or Shawn in there, you’re going to get a good result almost every time. These two had some masterpieces against each other and this was one of the best ones. I had a blast with this and it worked really well with Bret getting more and more violent and sadistic before faking Diesel out and using a wrestling move to win the title. That’s psychology people, and it’s great.

Diesel would turn heel soon after the title loss and lose a feud to the Undertaker. One of his last matches in the WWF was against Shawn Michaels at In Your House VII. It’s one of my all time favorite matches.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

Remember this is no holds barred so anything goes. We see Omaha resident and legendary wrestler Mad Dog Vachon at ringside who will become important later. No flashy entrance from Shawn as he just power walks to the ring and takes the belt off on the way. He pounds away on the much bigger Diesel but a knee to the ribs puts the champion down. A big dropkick sends Diesel to the floor and a moonsault press takes him down onto the concrete.

Shawn steals a boot from the Spanish’s announcer and lays out Diesel back inside for two. Back up and Diesel whips Shawn up and over the corner before hammering him off the apron and face first into the barricade with a nasty bump. Back in and Diesel runs Shawn over again before walking around very slowly. Snake Eyes (a face first drop onto the buckle) drops Michaels again and Diesel yells at Shawn’s trainer Jose Lothario that this is how we do it in the 90s.

A big side slam drops Shawn again and Diesel chokes the referee with his wrist tape for no apparent reason other than evil. Diesel steals the referee’s belt to whip Shawn even more before wrapping it around Shawn’s neck and hanging him over the top rope. He even ties the belt around the middle rope so he can grab a chair to blast Shawn in the back. They get back in the ring and another chair shot to the back puts Shawn down yet again. A third shot hits the top rope, sending the chair bouncing back into Diesel’s head.

Now Shawn grabs the chair but Diesel hits him low before Shawn can swing it. A BIG backdrop keeps the pressure on Shawn’s back and gets a two count. Diesel cranks on Shawn’s neck but Michaels fights up, only to be dropped with a series of forearms, knocking him out to the floor. In the big spot of the match, Diesel Jackknifes Shawn through the announce table (big deal back then), further destroying his back. That looked AWESOME and Vince begging Shawn to “just let it be over” makes it even better.

Diesel tries to pull Shawn back in but Michaels finds a fire extinguisher under the ring and blinds the big man so he can pound away. The fans are going NUTS over this comeback. Shawn pulls in a chair and goes to town on Diesel but lets Diesel get back up for a clothesline and a big boot to the jaw. Diesel loads up another Jackknife but Shawn punches his way out of it and drops a top rope elbow to the big man’s chest. Shawn tunes up the band for the superkick but Diesel blocks the boot and clotheslines Shawn down again.

A third clothesline puts Shawn on the floor as Vince gets in the very almost famous line of “We said it would be no holds barred but we didn’t expect this.” Diesel drops Shawn throat first on the barricade before going over to Mad Dog Vachon. He chokes Vachon down and RIPS OFF HIS PROSTHETIC LEG. Back in and Shawn hits Diesel low, blasts him in the face with the leg and hits Sweet Chin Music to retain the title and blow the roof off the place.

Rating: A+. This was a WAR and one of the best brawls you’ll ever see. They were beating the tar out of each other out there with Shawn bumping around like a maniac and making Diesel’s offense look great. This gave Shawn the credibility that he needed as champion to show he could fight as well as wrestle and it was a great performance to boot. It’s one of my all time personal favorite matches and still more than holds up over seventeen years later. Probably the best In Your House match to this point.

Now it’s off to WCW where Nash formed the Outsiders and challenged for the Tag Team Titles at Halloween Havoc 1996.

Tag Titles: The Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat

That original NWO music is still awesome. Then again so is Harlem Heat’s. The Heat had recently lost and regained the titles from Public Enemy for a pointless reign that lasted like two weeks. The Outsiders grab the belts and hold them up to a pop. Seeing the whole rebellion against the angles is very interesting. It was clear that the fans wanted something new. WWF realized that and made Austin, the rebel character, the top guy in the company and a face. Moral: listen to the audience. They’ll never let you down.

Apparently Sherri is the quarterback of Harlem Heat. Well I wouldn’t mind seeing her in the pants I guess. Stevie knocks Hall over the top rope which they immediately explain is NOT a DQ here. Why didn’t they just drop that stupid rule? I never got a straight answer to that. Anyway, Heenan says this is the first real test for the Outsiders, because clearly fighting Luger and Sting at Hog Wild wasn’t a test right? Or Savage, Luger and Sting or any other big combination they had. I love idiotic lines like that.

The fans loudly boo Harlem Heat taking over. I feel sorry for the announcers at times and then they say something stupid enough to make me lose any and all sympathy I have for them. The Heat dominate early on which is different than what you would expect. Crowd is totally behind the Outsiders here. Hall uses a chokeslam which he used back in like 93 I think. It’s weird to think he’s been using that since Giant was in high school.

Hall kisses Sherri. Can we get a sexual harassment lawsuit from the congregation? Booker hooks a sleeper and gets booed out of the building for it. Stevie gets the hot tag and cleans house, setting up the Harlem Hangover on Hall. Parker comes in for no apparent reason at all and swings the cane at Nash. This of course doesn’t work and two cane shots from Nash to Booker give the Outsiders the tag titles.

Rating: C-. Eh nothing great here but not that bad. This is far more important for the historical aspect than anything else. The ending made sense at least and the cheating was minimal, but the heels won with nefarious activities so that’s all fine. This wasn’t terrible, but the crowd told a lot of the story here as the heels got cheered and few liked the faces.

After a long feud with the Steiners, Nash would have to face Rick Steiner for the Tag Team Titles in a singles match at Spring Stampede 1997. Don’t ask.

Tag Titles: Kevin Nash vs. Rick Steiner

Only in WCW. Nick Patrick is referee because we need more gimmicks in this. Rick jumps him but gets knocked down almost immediately. DiBiase and Syxx are at ringside so this is 4-1. Nash pounds on him in the corner and hits his knees but runs into a boot. Belly to belly suplex looks like Rick is picking up a boulder. That suplex/powerslam move he uses gets two.

Syxx pulls the top rope down and Steiner crashes to the floor. Back in the side slam gets two. Why isn’t Patrick fast counting him? The Outsiders are the champions coming in here. DiBiase gets in a right hand and Nash hits the running crotch attack while Rick is in 619 position. Big boot puts Rick down as we’re totally in squash territory. There’s the Jackknife but Steiner kicks out. I don’t remember many people ever doing that other than Undertaker.

Steiner hits him low on another Jackknife attempt which Patrick actually doesn’t DQ him for. He’s kind of doing a bad job of being an evil referee here. Rick hits the bulldog but it only gets two, even though Nash’s shoulder never came up. Down goes Syxx but Nash comes back with a clothesline to take over again.

Syxx takes off the buckle pad and Snake Eyes onto the buckle sets up Snake Eyes on the buckle which sets up Snake Eyes on the buckle which sets up Snake Eyes on the buckle which sets up the Jackknife for the pin and a forced count (Patrick was hesitant) for the pin. The interesting thing here is that DiBiase says that’s enough in the middle of this and Nash yells at him. DiBiase walks out.

Rating: D-. So Nash wins a squash on PPV in a one on one match for the titles. I guess the more important part here is that DiBiase looks to be defecting which would mean more if he was an actual wrestler. This would lead to him managing the Steiners which would last for awhile until I think February. The match sucked.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to this big time main event from Nitro on March 9, 1998.

Hollywood Hogan/Outsiders vs. Sting/Randy Savage/The Giant

Thankfully Sting actually wears the belt again. Giant is in a neck brace and street clothes but goes after Nash anyway. It’s a big brawl to start with the three pairs fighting all over the arena. Sting and Hogan get things going with the champion pounding away and getting two off a right hand. Hogan sends him into a few corners and hits Sting in the back but the champion blocks a ram into the corner to get control back. Hall and Nash have their arms stretched out but Hogan doesn’t seem interested in tagging.

Giant gets the tag and Hogan staggers away, falling right into Nash which counts as a tag. Hall and Hogan try to jump Giant from behind but he picks both of them up AT THE SAME TIME in a double bearhug. That guy is so strong it’s unreal. Nash breaks it up though and Giant is in trouble. The NWO goes after Giant’s bad neck and the beating goes on for a good while. Hogan puts on a front facelock but can’t get the brace off.

Sting finally comes in without a tag to give Giant a breather but the brace has been removed. A triple beatdown has Giant in trouble but he shoves all three guys down and makes the hot tag to Savage. Giant gets back up and Nash runs off as Savage pounds on Hogan. Sting and Hall finally have some contact with the champion hitting a few Stinger Splashes before they fight to the floor. In the melee the Disciple comes in with the Stunner on Savage to give Hogan the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match but it was much more hype than actual substance. I’ll let the shock of a Nitro main event fitting that description sink in for a minute. Anyway the Sting vs. Hall match continues to be given less attention than even the TV Title match but any other solution might take some of the spotlight of Hogan vs. Savage and we couldn’t have that.

Nash would lead the NWO Wolfpack and become one of the top faces in WCW. This (and being booker) got him the World Title shot at Starrcade 1998.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash

Goldberg is defending and it’s No DQ. Nash won the shot by winning World War 3. They’re treating this like it’s a big showdown ala Hogan vs. Warrior in 1990 but it just doesn’t work with these guys. They pose at each other to start with the fans pretty split. A lockup takes both guys into the corner and the referee splits them up. They circle each other some more until Goldberg ducks a right hand and suplexes Nash, sending him out to the floor.

Back in and Nash takes him into the corner for all of his usual stuff but Goldberg just shoves him down. The champion chokes away but Nash tries a freaking cross armbreaker of all things. Goldberg laughs his way out of that and tries his ankle hold, sending Nash to the ropes for another reset. Goldberg knocks Nash to the mat with right hands but gets pulled face first into the middle buckle.

The spear connects out of nowhere but Goldberg can’t pick him up for the Jackhammer. The delay allows Nash to hit him low and both guys are down again. A bad looking side slam gets two for Nash and he hammers in forearms to the back. The swinging neckbreaker puts Nash down again and there’s the superkick for good measure. Goldberg muscles him up into a powerslam for two but here’s Disco Inferno to distract the champion. That goes as well as you would expect so here’s Bigelow to get beaten down as well. Scott Hall of course sneaks in with a tazer to Goldberg’s chest, setting up the Jackknife to give Nash the title.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t the worst thing in the world but it feels like such an anti-climactic way to end the Streak. After all that, it’s an ending that doesn’t make a ton of sense and almost makes Nash look like a heel, even though the fans popped for the ending. I’d assume it’s because it’s a big moment but they still liked Nash no matter what. It felt like a pro-Nash pop rather than an anti-Goldberg one as the fans weren’t booing Goldberg throughout the rest of the match.

Nash would lose the title eight days later in the Fingerpoke of Doom. He would get another shot at Slamboree 1999.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

And Buffer’s mic doesn’t work right. Seriously, fold already. You can hear him in the arena but not over the PPV feed. Page is champion. Early Cutter attempt is blocked and Page hits the floor. We actually get a reference to the Vegas Connection. Page hammers away but runs his mouth to get himself sent to the floor. Back inside and Nash hammers away. Page charges at Nash and finally kicks him low to take over.

Page rips a buckle off and hits him with the mic for two. He gets sent into the exposed steel though and both guys are down. Page takes over and sends him to the floor. A baseball slide puts Nash down and there’s a Diamond Cutter to kill Nash out there. It only gets two in the ring but at least there was a delay. Now Page goes for the knee for no apparent reason.

He wraps it around the post a few times and pounds on Nash again. There’s something going on in the crowd so they change the camera angle, which is pretty smart. Nash makes his comeback and hits Snake Eyes onto the buckle. Back to the regular angle. Nash….at least limp. Big boot and Jackknife….but here’s Savage to break it up for the LAME DQ. So is he a heel now too?

I would rate it here, but Eric comes out AGAIN and restarts the match. Russian legsweep gets two for the champ. Discus lariat gets the same. And here’s a sleeper, which looks awful because Nash is so tall. Now Nash hooks an even WORSE sleeper but Page jawbreaks his way out of it for two. A chair shot hits the rope and Page takes it in the face for two. Low blow gets two for Page. And then Nash kicks the chair into Page’s face, takes the straps down and wins the title via the Jackknife.

Rating: D. The fans popped for the ending, but I’m just spent at this point. There’s nothing interesting here and the run in and restart made no sense, which is what the name of the show should be. Nash would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Savage before Hogan took it the next night. This was nothing interesting at all and the knee selling coming and going hurt things.

As WCW was dying, their stipulations started to get weird. Here’s Nash vs. Terry Funk for control of the company at Souled Out 2000.

Terry Funk vs. Kevin Nash

The winner is the Commissioner, which Funk is at this point. If Nash loses then the NWO disbands. Funk’s music sounds like Demolition’s for a few seconds. The brawl starts in the aisle as this is a hardcore match. Chair to the back of Funk as it’s all Nash to start us off. There’s a Jackknife through the table less than two minutes in. You would think that would end it, but Nash wants to talk.

He says that if Funk can crawl back into the ring, Funk can still be Commissioner. Funk gets in and Nash says that he’s a lying SOB so the fight goes on. We only have Tony on commentary. Funk is busted open so we go to a wide shot. He gets a chair and cracks Nash a few times with it and adds a DDT for two. The people are booing the heck out of Funk here. But hey, he was a world champion 23 years ago! And some of the fans were alive then so he must be worthy of giving a big push to!

Nash cracks him in the head multiple times with the chair and Funk no sells them to beat on Nash even more. Funk sets up multiple chairs for absolutely no apparent reason. And of course he gets powerbombed through them and Nash becomes Commissioner as the man in his late 50s is probably crippled. Don’t you love WCW?

Rating: D. This was short and had a lot of Funk either no selling or not moving. The fans flat out didn’t buy Funk as the big face he was supposed to be but WCW kept going with it anyway because they had decided that they knew what the fans wanted to see instead of what the fans told them they wanted to see.

Nash and Diamond Dallas Page would hook up as the Insiders to face two of the Natural Born Thrillers for the Tag Team Titles at Mayhem 2000.

Tag Titles: Perfect Event vs. Insiders

Perfect Event is Palumbo and Stasiak. Sanders comes out AGAIN to talk. Yep he’s doing commentary. And I was right: the other Thrillers are the new security tonight. The fans want Hall. Nash and Palumbo start us off. Palumbo couldn’t do much other than look good in tights but he could throw a VERY good punch. And of course Nash beats him down with relative ease.

Nash and Page manage to beat up ALL of the Thrillers with ease. And here comes Flair and the normal security to get rid of the Thrillers. So yeah they can beat up seven guys but we’re supposed to believe that two of them can give the old guys a legit challenge. Sanders gets to stay on commentary and has a manager’s license apparently.

The Insiders beat up Stasiak with ease here. Oh wait there’s a DDT that is supposed to make us believe the challengers are in trouble and might not be getting the belts here. Stasiak gets Page down and walks around him. That’s all he does: just walks around him. He always was the weakest of the Thrillers. Nash gives a crotch chop to the referee because that’s about the extent of what he does anymore.

We see Stasiak’s trunks come downand he doesn’t get it for the vast majority of the time. Yep it’s bad comedy. Madden points out the odd idea that the champions are underdogs. He is promptly brushed off. Nice referees there. Page fights out of the corner but Palumbo stops him. Madden says this is the match of Palumbo’s life so far. If that’s the case he doesn’t have much of a life.

Page vs. Stasiak now and nothing special is happening. Classic old school tag move as the referee misses the tag to Nash. Tony: I’ve never been in the ring but it would seem to me that the first person to get a tag would give his team an advantage. You can’t buy analysts like these. Nash comes in and TOny immediately sucks up to him. Sanders tries to interfere and it means nothing as the Jackknife ends it.

Rating: C-. This was the second best match of the night and it’s formula tag stuff at its best. This is nothing at all to talk about but that would kind of defeat the point of this match so you get the concept. The old guys were in about a total of zero danger here at all and there was never any real doubt of the title change. The titles would be returned to the Perfect Event in eight days, making this, say it with me, TOTALLY POINTLESS!

WCW would go under soon after this and Nash would eventually make it to the WWF, where he was injured in one of his first matches back. He would come back later and somehow get into the World Title hunt, getting a title shot at Judgment Day 2003.

Raw World Title: Kevin Nash vs. HHH

Shawn, Flair, Nash and HHH all get entrances. Remember that Shawn and Flair were listed in the ad for the match. Naturally Flair gets the biggest pop of them all since we’re in Charlotte. Nash jumps him in the aisle and we pair off. Is there a reason why this isn’t a tag match? Flair and Michaels fight to the back and they’re gone without even a bell.

There’s the bell and it’s all Nash so far. By the way, we won’t be seeing Flair or HBK for the rest of the match. So glad that they got a PPV payday here. Nash gets a backdrop and HHH tries to run and hide. Back in the ring and down goes the Game. Side slam and an elbow drop by Nash. There’s another elbow and HHH shoves down the referee. Somehow that’s not a DQ but whatever.

HHH finally gets a neckbreaker to take Nash down. HHH is in purple here. Back off to Nash who hammers away and then shoves the referee too. Hebner is underappreciated for doing stuff like this. After a brief chase HHH accidently clotheslines the referee and low blows Nash. There goes the turnbuckle and HHH goes…into another corner.

Sidewalk slam sends HHH down and Nash goes through some of his favorites like the elbows and a big boot. Snake Eyes is attempted into the exposed buckle and Nash shoves the referee down AGAIN. HHH reverses it and rams Nash in so that the Pedigree can get two.

Another attempt is reversed into a backdrop over the ropes and HHH finds the sledgehammer. HHH hits Hebner in the chest with it and finally it’s a DQ after less than 8 minutes. The fans are not thrilled and boo heavily then die. This set up Hell in a Cell in two months in one of the weakest major gimmick matches ever. HHH takes a Jackknife post match.

Rating: F. This was there to set up Bad Blood and that’s all there is to it. The match sucked beyond belief and no one cared at all about this. Nash was here because he was one of HHH’s friends and no one bought that the title was changing. 2003 was the worst year in the history of Raw and this is one of the major reasons why.

It was off to TNA after this where Nash got a title shot at Against All Odds 2005.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash

If Jeff uses the guitar, he loses the title. So a cello is ok but a guitar isn’t? The annoying chant of the match: Super Shredder. Nash controls with the power to start and throws Jeff pretty high across the ring. There are some knee lifts in the corner as well as the elbow smashes. Jeff goes for the knees but misses a charge in the corner. Nash clotheslines him out and mixes up his offense. I mean now he’s punching him on the floor.

Jeff hits some punches and back into the ring we go. Nash throws him right back over the top because he’s a better brawler than wrestler. There wasn’t any sarcasm in that statement. They go into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble. The food on the catering table is destroyed so Nash picks up the table and rams it into Jeff. Why don’t more people do that? They fins a chair and trade some shots with Nash in control.

Jarrett is busted open and they head back to ringside. Nash pulls back the mats at ringside but a Jackknife attempt is countered by a low blow. Jeff goes under the ring and pulls out a case. AND IT’S A CELLO! I WAS KIDDING!!!! I’ve never seen this match before and they actually did that. I’ve been watching too much TNA. Jeff slams the case on the knee of Nash and it’s time to go in for the kill.

After some cannonballs onto the knee here’s a not great Figure Four. Nash finally gets to the ropes but Jeff is right back onto the leg. Nash comes back up and uses his usual power arsenal. Jarrett escapes Snake Eyes and clips Nash. As he brings back in part of the cello he walks into a ball shot. Nash powerbombs him onto the cello but there’s no referee due to a bump.

Cue the man “formerly known as Billy Gunn in the WWE” to knock out Nash with a Fameasser. That only gets two. His shirt says “No introduction needed. You already know my name.” That translates to “We can’t come up with anything that won’t get us sued.” He comes back for more but the referee stops him, allowing Sean Waltman to hit a spinwheel kick, a Bronco Buster and an X Factor to Jeff for two. Billy comes back in with the belt but Road Dogg comes in to stop him. Nash takes Gunn out but walks into a belt shot…for two. Stroke gets two. A second Stroke finally gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Well other than the Cello, the three run-ins, the 6 low blows, the two ref bumps, the belt shot and the kicking out of finishers, this wasn’t too terrible! For the life of me though, Billy Gunn and X-Pac? Those are supposed to make me want to see the show again? There’s a reason they’re out of WWE you know. Anyway, this wasn’t horrible but it didn’t need to be 20 minutes, period.

A few years later, Nash would help defend the World Title in a tag team match at Genesis 2007.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle/Kevin Nash vs. Sting/???

First person to get a fall wins, making it more or less a fatal fourway or four corners match. The mystery partner is the debuting Booker T which was spoiled by the time it happened. They had a graphic with various clues (they were trying to do their own SAVE US thing) but it said Huffman which gave things away. One day someone will have to explain to me how you can be returning to the ring after months off (Nash) or debut like Booker and be in a title match.

Sting vs. Angle gets us going and Sting takes over with some speed stuff. Well, speed for a guy in his late 40s. The fans chant “tag in Booker”. Instead it’s off to Nash and the fans still want Booker. It looks like we’re saving him for the big hot tag which isn’t a horrible idea. Or not as when I flip back to the video player Booker is legal. Booker takes over on Kurt with a side slam for two.

Nash comes back in and hooks a side slam for two on Booker. Booker fires off a spin kick and brings back Sting who goes nuts on everyone. Everything breaks down and Kurt hits a snap German on Sting. We’re running through the time in this match quickly running down. Off to a rest hold but they get up and Sting counters the Angle Slam into a DDT to put them both down again.

There’s the moderately warm tag to Booker and he beats down the heels. Spinarooni is debuted in TNA but a Book End only gets two. Booker totally messes up a spin kick on Nash for two. It was more or less a back shot to Nash. A Jackknife puts down Booker but Sting grabs the Death Drop on Nash. Here’s AJ who is sent right back out but Tomko takes out Sting. It’s implied that Karen brought them in. Sharmell, Booker’s wife, debuts and gets in a fight with Karen. Nash takes forever to load up a Jackknife on Sting so Kurt hits Nash with the belt and pins Sting after an Angle Slam to retain.

Rating: C. We’ve seen this a dozen times before which is what’s holding this back. It’s not a bad match or anything but how many times do you remember hearing about something like this? Booker’s debut was cool but it was pretty flat after the initial pop. The turn by the tag champs wasn’t bad either.

Here’s an interesting match at Turning Point 2008.

Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is big here but not incredibly fat which is a nice change of pace. It’s a slugfest to start which is what you would expect I think. The tall guy (I can’t really say big here as it would be confusing) is in trouble. West says some people think Joe is the best in the world. Find those people so I can smack them with a fish.

This is more of a brawl than a match but that’s what a grudge match is supposed to be about. Nash goes to a toolbox as he harkens back to his Hell in a Cell days. That goes nowhere of course for no apparent reason. Joe’s shoulder goes into the post so Nash goes for his back. Sure why not.

The fat man makes a comeback and this is FAR more fast paced than you would expect it to be. A chair shot from Nash gets two. Jackknife gets two and Nash is STUNNED. A shot to the exposed buckle and Joe is busted open. ANOTHER Jackknife gets two. Joe gets an armbar out of nowhere and Nash is almost in trouble.

The referee goes down somewhere in there and Nash hits a low blow. That and the feet on the ropes get the pin. I kind of get that but at the same time I kind of don’t.

Rating: B. That’s likely high but I really liked this. Nash has had something close to a career revival in TNA as he’s just clicked in there the whole time. Joe losing here wasn’t horrible as the Mafia was brand new and needed some wins. Also he kicked out of two powerbombs. That’s rare enough so I can live with this. Solid match too.

After this came the Legends Title which Nash thought was perfect for him. Here he is challenging for it at Victory Road 2009.

Legends Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Nash

The Legends Title is now the Global Title and AJ holds it here. This is back when AJ is the awesome version of himself that was on the rise back through the ranks and would win the world title in a few months. He was more or less considered the best in the world at this point and with good reason. I was one of those people, but Punk was about to turn full Straightedge Messiah and the race was on.

AJ hits and Nash runs which is a weird combination. AJ goes for the knees as you would expect. By the way, if a match like this happened in WCW (with AJ being replaced by Benoit or Malenko), the company could have had a fighting chance at the end. Nash goes into his normal stuff but here it works for some reason. Nash was in a groove around this time with the whole in it for the money character trait.

It worked very well for him though as that completely fit his character and it came off perfectly. Nash kicks the tar out of AJ and knocks him to the floor where AJ hits his head. The Jackknife is blocked though and even I’m starting to cheer for AJ. He hits the forearm while Nash is sitting on the mat in a cool spot. AJ hooks a weird looking leg lock on Nash which is working quite well. It looks like a highly modified Sharpshooter but it’s working.

There’s the forearm which is one of my favorite moves of all time so I love it of course. Pele puts Nash down and West is refusing to believe AJ can lose…even though he’s the heel commentator…..he was new at it I guess. In a very anti-climactic ending, AJ goes for another forearm but Nash shoves the referee at him so AJ has to jump over him. That’s enough for Nash to catch him in a chokeslam for the pin. It came out of nowhere but it’s not horrible.

Rating: B. This really worked for me. AJ was able to make the David vs. Goliath thing work very well but I really do question putting a title on Nash. He wouldn’t hold it long at least but that’s another story. This was a fun match though as the dynamic was there which is usually the hardest part to get.

And defending it against Hard Justice 2009. This has an interesting story as Nash wanted the belt to bring him more money at conventions and Foley wanted it because wrestlers are supposed to win titles.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Mick Foley

Foley is champion and the Legends Title would evolve into the TV Title. I can’t believe it but the video package actually made me want to watch this again. Oh and Foley won the title from Nash in a tag match. Never been a fan of those but at least Foley pinned Nash for it. Foley waves at Nash just after the bell which is funny for some reason. Nash’s right hand is taped heavier than usual.

Surprisingly technical stuff to start as they lock up a few times. Naturally it turns into more of a brawl but that’s what these two likely should do. Foley hits a running knee lift but a double arm DDT can’t hit. There’s your first hard bump of the match as Foley gets kicked into the guardrail. They brawl outside and Nash takes over. The fans chant “over here” which is kind of a cool chant to me for some odd reason.

Chair shot by Nash hits post but Foley’s hits Big Sexy’s back. Foley tries the elbow off the apron but Nash gets the chair in to block it. Foley’s eye is busted now. Oh man that’s a bad one too. Nash drops some F Bombs and wisely fires jabs in at the eye. There’s blood on the camera which is kind of a cool visual. That’s a sick blood flow and in a very dangerous area too.

Half of Foley’s face is bloody and half isn’t. That’s a creepy/awesome look indeed. Foley says bring it on and actually fires back. A forearm puts Nash down and we get the Mankind rocking back and forth. Foley pulls his hair out as he’s all fired up now. That blood is flowing everywhere. BANG BANG as you can’t even see his eye anymore.

Nash’s forehead is busted a bit now too. Make that a lot now. That’s a GREAT looking cut. Ref is bumped and it’s barbed wire bat time. Tracy Brooks of all people comes out and the distraction is enough for Nash to hit a big boot and something we can’t see that wasn’t the powerbomb for the title.

Rating: C+. I liked it. This was a surprisingly good match here as these two actually had some chemistry. Fun match as their characters and philosophies were perfect opposites and the story made the match for the most part. The ending is fine for the most part and while it was kind of boring from an in ring match, it was still good I though. At least I liked it. Good thing I’m writing this too.

Then Eric Young wanted to be part of the Band and had to beat Kevin Nash at Lockdown 2010 to get in.

Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young

Young has to win here but he won’t because of the Band. Young is wearing some kind of green tights. Ok then. Apparently Hogan has told Hall that he has to get a partner tonight or he goes it 2-1. Ok then. I say that a lot. Nash is dominating for the most part here but Young is getting some stuff in.

That’s fine with me as they’re going with the traditional formula to get to the Young comeback. No problem there. And Nash just hits the powerbomb to completely kill Young’s credibility. This show is a success even if nothing else happens.

Rating: C. Too short to be good but not long enough to be bad. That sounds like in the middle to me. I’m not sure on how quick this was but I’d go with Hall and Nash reuniting here. And a quick Nash promo says that I’m right. I smell Pac being there anyway.

Then Nash would show up in WWE in a WAY too complicated storyline which wrapped up at TLC 2011. I’m still not exactly sure how this worked. In case you’ve somehow never heard of it, there was something about Nash sending himself a text because he wanted one more roar from the crowd and he beat up CM Punk as a result. Somehow that gets us to this match.

HHH vs. Kevin Nash

This is the sledgehammer ladder match. They pound on each other to start with the power moves and head to the floor. HHH gets a ladder but gets kicked into it. Nash sets one up on the floor but HHH dives off the announce table with a clothesline to take over. Nash into the crowd now but he gets an elbow up to a charging Game. Snake Eyes onto the barricade puts HHH down and there’s a one man Vinnie Vegas chant.

They head into the ring and HHH takes over, using the ladder onto the knees. Now some of the weakest ladder shots ever onto said knee. HHH wraps the ladder around Nash’s legs and hooks a Figure Four in it. It’s better than the one around the post at least. Nash manages to whip HHH into the ladder and out to the floor in a solid bump. Side slam onto the ladder and HHH is in trouble.

Nash puts the ladder onto the bottom rope and does the slingshot into it instead of the rope. And then the crowd goes silent for a bit. Out to the floor and Nash sets for the Jackknife through the table, but HHH backdrops him onto said table instead. HHH makes the first climb up the ladder, 13 minutes into the match. He just gets a hand on it as Nash makes the save. Remember that you have to get a pin after getting it down.

There’s a chokeslam of all things and Nash goes to the floor again. He sets up a table in the ring and there goes the strap. HHH kind of spears him into the ladder and knocks him to the floor. The Game goes up but Nash is back and they slug it out on the ladder. HHH knocks the hammer into Nash’s head and Nash actually goes off the ladder through the table. I didn’t think he had it in him.

HHH gets the hammer down and Nash is on his feet a minute after falling that far. HHH destroys Nash with the hammer but Nash is back to his knees in a minute. The first Pedigree attempt doesn’t work and the second doesn’t actually involve Nash’s face touching the mat. We’re still not done yet though as Nash is on his knees again less than a mintue later. HHH gets the hammer and Nash flashes the Kliq sign. A hammer shot ends this at 18:12.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t that bad, but at the end of the day is Kevin Nash vs. HHH getting 18 minutes and we’re less than two weeks from the year 2012. Also the completely absurd lack of selling at the end of this really hurt things. Nash is painfully slow but I think everyone knew that was coming. Not as bad as it was expected to be, but I still don’t see why this needed to happen.

Overall Nash isn’t the best in the world but he was really good at what he did. There’s nothing wrong with a good big man who can cut a decent promo and wrestle the same power style for so many years. You can’t argue with his resume either and how big a star he was at his peak. Nash is a good cat.

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Monday Nitro #178
Date: March 1, 1999
Location: Student Activities Center, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Attendance: 17,852
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

Maybe this will be a better month. With two Nitros to go until Uncensored, we don’t have anything set for the show. Given how short the time span between the shows, I’m assuming we’ll be getting a lot of rematches at Uncensored. That’s fine in theory and hopefully we get the right endings this time, but the damage has already been done. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory Of graphic for Rick Wilson, more commonly known as the Renegade. The bell tolls in his memory.

David Flair and the Blonde are in a limousine where David plays messages from Ric, asking to see him. They play four or five messages and Ric gets more serious each time as David and the Blonde laugh. David says it’s time Ric retire. The fact that this is over fifteen years old and Ric is still running around makes my head shake.

Tony tells us that Ric has a huge announcement tonight.

Clips of Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg last week and Rick Steiner returning.

Tony thinks we’re going to this week’s Nitro Party at the University of North Carolina but instead Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell come out. After saying Page isn’t here tonight, Steiner talks about his physique as the fans chant for Goldberg. Bagwell says we’re in UNC country, but he and Steiner are Duke fans (UNC’s big rival). Tonight, they’re calling out Rick Steiner and Goldberg.

Off to the party at UNC.

Clips of WCW doing stuff at UNC this week.

Opening sequence, now featuring Booker T.

Here’s the Wolfpack with something to say and Liz is holding a shirt. Luger talks about his arm injury and Larry gets in a good line by saying Luger only suffers from narcissism. Now for the announcement: Nash is offering Rey Mysterio a spot in the Wolfpack. There’s no Mysterio, so Nash calls him on a cell phone but Rey declines the offer.

Video on Booker T. pinning Bret Hart last week. Booker gets a US Title shot at Uncensored.

Cruiserweight Title: Psychosis vs. Kidman

Kidman is defending and takes him down with a hurricanrana. Psychosis nails a clothesline and the fans aren’t pleased. Another hurricanrana sends Kidman outside and a baseball slide knocks him into the barricade. Back in and Kidman backdrops Psychosis over the post and to the floor, followed by a huge dive to take him down again. Psychosis nails a shot to the ribs and we take a break.

Back with Kidman being sent ribs first into the ropes with a drop toehold. The guillotine legdrop to the back sends Kidman to the floor and into a cameraman for a nice crash. Kidman comes back with a clothesline and a springboard off the barricade into a hurricanrana. Back in again with Kidman slipping while trying a superplex and settling with a slam off the top. The BK Bomb gets two and a bulldog out of the corner gets the same. Kidman counters a powerbomb (of course) and the Shooting Star retains the title.

Rating: B. This was REALLY good with Psychosis continuing his roll. I can understand why you don’t give him the title at this point but he had a great performance in trying. Kidman is looking unstoppable at this point and is firmly in the top level of cruiserweights. He still has to deal with Mysterio though.

We look at Benoit/Malenko attacking Windham/Hennig last week.

Arn Anderson comes in to see David Flair and the Blonde. She says Flair and the Horsemen couldn’t get someone like her but Arn says he wouldn’t get down in the gutter with her. Anderson reminds David of the problems he warned David of when he started wrestling and says the NWO is just using David. This is called jealousy and David says the Horsemen are all old.

Hogan gives Vince permission to knock Stevie Ray out if he complains anymore.

More UNC party stuff. They’ll be at Brown University next week.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

They circle each other to start until Bigelow LAUNCHES him across the ring ala Spike Dudley. Bam Bam misses a charge in the corner and Mysterio hammers away, only to get caught in something like a World’s Strongest Slam. Bigelow picks him up and throws Mysterio onto a bunch of security guards. Back in and the slow destruction continues with a big boot putting Rey down.

We hit the chinlock followed by a Dominator and headbutt but Bigelow pulls up at two. Bam Bam misses a top rope headbutt and Rey nails a missile dropkick. A middle rope X-Factor gets two but Bigelow crushes him with a clothesline. We return to a stupid idea of setting off fireworks to start the second hour when a match is going on. Rey gets sent into the buckle and falls head first between Bigelow’s legs. Mysterio goes up and grabs a victory roll for the surprise pin.

Rating: D+. This was a way to continue Mysterio being the giant killer, which is fine for an idea, except for one thing: Mysterio is the greatest cruiserweight in WCW history and it shouldn’t be the biggest upset in the world when he beats a big guy. This theory that cruiserweights are nothing compared to heavyweights doesn’t hold up but WCW kept going with it for years.

Mysterio says he’s standing up for all the small people when Luger comes up for a distraction. Nash sneaks in and jumps him while shouting about Rey wasting the chance of a lifetime earlier.

Bigelow, Raven and Hak have a hardcore brawl in the back.

Ric Flair arrives in a long white limo and we go to a commercial. We just went to a commercial after the brawl!

The Wolfpack tells Stevie Ray to beat up Vince. DOES NO ONE WATCH THE SHOW???

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Jerry Flynn with something to say. Seriously. He’s tired of Ernest Miller issuing all these challenges and wants to challenge Miller to a fight right now. We cut to the back where Scott Norton tells Miller that Flynn is calling him out.

Ernest Miller vs. Jerry Flynn

Miller comes out to James Brown music with Glacier’s lasers. He dives at Flynn but hits the referee’s feet instead, allowing Jerry to hammer away in the corner. A running spin kick staggers Miller but he trips Flynn down and chokes a lot. Miller misses a charge and hits the post before they trade some more kicks. Flynn gets the worse of it and Miller puts on a chinlock. The fans think this is boring and the guys head outside with Miller still in control.

Flynn kicks him into the barricade before they go back inside for a big kick from Ernest. A superkicks puts Flynn down for two but he comes back with kicks and a belly to belly for two. Then they kick each other at the same time and are both down. The referee decides that the first person to his feet is the winner, so Miller distracts the referee while Sonny Onoo kicks Flynn down to give Miller the win.

Rating: F. When the referee is so bored by a match that he’s willing to end a match that quickly, you can tell it’s a failure.

Flynn chases both guys off post match.

Video on Steiner vs. Page at SuperBrawl.

Hugh Morrus vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn hammers away to start but Jimmy Hart trips him up to give Morrus control. Tony announces Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow and Windham/Hennig vs. Malenko/Benoit for Uncensored. Morrus charges into a boot in the corner and Saturn suplexes him down. A Fameasser puts Hugh down but another Hart distraction lets Morrus nail a clothesline. Back in and Morrus gorilla presses him down for two before cranking on a chinlock.

A clothesline gets two more for Morrus as the fans are just dead here. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Morrus goes up, only to jump into a northern lights suplex for two. There’s a t-bone suplex to put Morrus down but Chris Jericho comes out with I think a chain to lay Saturn out. No Laughing Matter gives Morrus the pin.

Rating: D. What a dull match. I have no idea why they started doubling the length of TV matches but it’s very annoying when they have boring matches like this filling in all that time. This really didn’t work as about three minutes were spent in a chinlock. The Jericho vs. Saturn feud needs to die already.

Bagwell and Steiner are still trying to make it to Spring Break.

Konnan music video.

More Nitro Party stuff from UNC.

Clip of Meng on Mortal Kombat the series.

We see Hennig/Windham refusing to defend against Malenko/Benoit. This is pointless as the rematch has already been announced.

Chris Benoit vs. Bret Hart

I think this might pick things up a bit. Bret takes over with some forearms to the back and a running clothesline before taking Benoit into the corner for some right hands to the jaw. Benoit elbows him to the floor before taking Bret down with a chinlock. Thankfully it doesn’t last long and Chris gets two off a clothesline. A DDT gets two for Hart and a piledriver gets the same. Bret is definitely in full heel mode here as he’s taking his sweet time between moves.

Benoit reverses a suplex into a small package for two but Bret stomps him down again. A backbreaker gets two for Bret and we hit the chinlock. Benoit fights up with a belly to back suplex but the Swan Dive only hits mat. There’s the Sharpshooter but Benoit counters into the Crossface, only to have Bret make the ropes. Sweet sequence.

We take a break and come back with Benoit making a rope to escape a Figure Four. The middle rope elbow gets two for Hart and he hammers away in the corner. Benoit wakes up and kicks Bret in the ribs before driving a knee into the stomach. A big running elbow drops Hart and the Swan Dive connects but Benoit can’t cover.

He finally gets two before they clothesline each other down. It’s Benoit up first with a sleeper but Bret suplexes both of them out to the floor in a SCARY crash. They both get up and Bret heads inside but Windham and Hennig come out to nail Benoit with a title belt. Bret puts on the Sharpshooter and Benoit makes the rope, but Hart doesn’t let go, drawing a DQ.

Rating: B. Remember people: WCW thought Scott Hall vs. Roddy Piper was a better option on pay per view than this. The match took a little while to get going but eventually started cranking up with about ten minutes to go. There was almost no way this wasn’t going to be an awesome match and it didn’t disappoint.

Windham and Hennig go after Benoit but Malenko makes the save.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s some of the NWO for a chat. Hogan talks about David Flair slicking his hair because he’s got the flair. He heard Ric begging for mercy and asking Hollywood to not do anything else to him. As he’s talking, Stevie Ray and Vincent get in a fight. Nash breaks it up and Hogan keeps talking about how Flair is going to retire tonight.

Gene brings out Ric Flair for his big announcement. Flair says he’s going to let his one build for awhile. He’s been sitting at home for two weeks and hearing everyone ask how David Flair could do this. Ric talks about how everyone is in the NWO before going on about a blonde that he met in Charlotte twenty years ago that changed his life. Now she’s at home waiting on Daddy.

Flair reminds us that we’re LIVE in North Carolina tonight. He’s the President for twenty eight more days and now his target is Hogan. It’s ending at Uncensored with the title on the line inside a fifteen foot high steel cage with no door and barbed wire on top. After Uncensored, people will want to be like the Nature Boy instead of Mike.

Rick Steiner/Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell

Rick and Buff get things going with Bagwell nailing a dropkick. Rick no sells a suplex and powerslams Buff down. It’s off to Goldberg so Bagwell crawls over to tag in Scott. They lock up against the ropes before Goldberg easily runs him down with a shoulder. Scott nails him with a hard elbow to the face before hammering on Goldberg in the corner. That’s fine with Goldberg as he gorilla presses Scott over his head for an insane seven reps before dropping him to the mat.

Rick comes in to face his brother but Buff trips him up, allowing Scott nail a suplex. Buff comes in legally and hammers away as Scott cuts the turnbuckle pad off. Rick is sent into the steel a few times before Scott nails him with a clothesline for two. Choking ensues as you can feel the hot tag to Goldberg coming. A low blow keeps Rick in trouble and it’s back to Buff for a clothesline. Scott cranks on the leg but Buff’s splash hits knees. There’s the hot tag to Goldberg and house is thoroughly cleaned. Everything breaks down and a double Steiner Line drops Buff and Scott. The spear and Steiner Bulldog take care of Bagwell.

Rating: C. This was your standard main event tag match and that’s fine. I like that they let the heroes stand tall for a change as it’s barely happened since the end of last year. Rick Steiner is decent as a power guy and seeing him vs. Scott is always interesting since we couldn’t get a clean match between the two of them. This was a nice way to send the fans home happy.

Overall Rating: C. If not for the Flynn and Morrus matches this would be a lot higher. This had two REALLY good matches on it which goes to show how WCW can do things right when they’re given the chance. Flair’s announcement wasn’t anything mind blowing but it gives WCW a chance to make up for some of its disasters. This show flew by and was really easy to sit through, which is the first such episode in a long time.

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Monday Nitro #177
Date: February 22, 1999
Location: Arco Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 13,921
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re FINALLY past SuperBrawl and things couldn’t be much lower for WCW if they handed all the wrestlers shovels and told them to dig their own graves. Hogan is still World Champion, Windham and Hennig are Tag Team Champions, Scott Hall is US Champion, Scott Steiner is TV Champion, and Rey Mysterio doesn’t have a mask. We’ve got three weeks before Uncensored, so hopefully things can improve a bit tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with stills of the main event from last night with the Blonde interfering, setting up the masked David Flair to stun Ric and keep the title on Hogan.

The announcers introduce the show with Tony talking about how they’ve seen the Blonde for the last few weeks. You could have fooled me as they never MENTIONED her but apparently they did see her.

There’s an interview room set up in the back for David and Ric to have a sitdown meeting later.

There’s a Nitro Party at the University of California Berkeley as part of the countdown to Spring Breakout in five weeks.

Video on the Nitro Girls at Cal Berkeley.

Nitro Girls.

Stills of Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

Jerry Flynn vs. Mike Enos

Are they serious? They air the show they aired last night and now we get to sit through what is likely going to be a Jerry Flynn squash? This show is already getting on my nerves. Who looks at Jerry Flynn and sees someone that wrestling fans want to see winning matches? We’re coming off a pay per view with major ramifications and instead of seeing fallout, we get ten minutes of stills and Nitro Party stuff and now a jobber vs. jobber match. This company deserved everything it got in 1999.

Enos shoves him into the corner to start but gets kicked in the face and knocked to the mat. Flynn comes back with more kicks because he’s Ernest Miller with a mullet and no charisma. Enos throws Jerry outside and hits a clothesline off the apron followed by a slam. Back in and Jerry puts on an ankle lock but Enos easily gets up. Some kicks in the corner set up a cross armbreaker to make Enos tap out.

Rating: D. A Jerry Flynn match that consisted of a lot of kicking followed by some bad looking submission holds? But now he’s winning instead of getting beaten up by Goldberg. The match wasn’t horrible but it was just so uninteresting that there was nothing worth paying attention to.

The Blonde makes sure David is ready to talk to his father face to face.

Booker T. is ready and promises a lot of people will get the Harlem Hangover. Tonight he has Bret Hart and Gene says that surely the winner gets a US Title shot. Bret better be ready to go all night long.

Back to Cal Berkeley for more festivities. I have a bad feeling about the next month.

Scott Norton is back from Japan and Vince tells him that he (Vince) is now in charge of the Black and White. Norton doesn’t seem impressed but goes along with it.

Video on Mortal Kombat: The Series with Wrath as a guest star.

Video on Page vs. Steiner from last night. Tony tells us that the stipulation of Steiner getting Kimberly for thirty days if he won wasn’t official. Of course he tells us this NOW because he was too busy last night.

Van Hammer vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

A loud GOLDBERG chant starts before the match and Hammer actually takes over early on. Bigelow is sent to the floor and Hammer just stands in the ring, probably as bored by the show as the rest of the fans. Back in and Bam Bam hammers away as Tony tells us to watch the replay of Starrcade, and I quote, “To see one of the most disheartening moments in the career of Ric Flair.”

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Van Hammer fights up and hits a flying shoulder, though Bigelow doesn’t seem to notice and it’s back to the chinlock. A headbutt gets two for Bigelow and a small package gets the same for Hammer. Back to the chinlock as this match just keeps going. Bigelow lets go as the announcers talk about Hak, followed by the fourth chinlock in eight minutes. A running clothesline gets two on Hammer and Bigelow avoids a running boot in the corner (Hammer: “BUMMER!”), setting up the Greetings from Asbury Park for the pin.

Rating: D. They managed to fit four chinlocks into an eight minute match. You would think Bigelow would squash someone to get back on the winning streak after losing to Goldberg, but that would make too much sense and might be entertaining so we got this match instead. Again, who thought this stuff was going to make me want to stick around? Yeah the Flair sitdown interview sounds interesting and some of the fallout from last night might be good, but sitting through these matches isn’t worth it.

We go back to California where Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell are getting off a Nitro bus. They go to a gym and see some decent looking women working out. One offers them to come see her later and gives Buff her address. They go and find a drag club where they’re given a note saying “race you to Raleigh”, which is near next week’s Nitro. This took all of thirty seconds and came off like a comedy bit.

In the arena, Scott Steiner yells at Goldberg during a photo shoot. These were separate segments.

Stills of Piper vs. Hall last night. Tony says Piper used a lot of great moves to get the advantage, “such as the atomic drop.” Is it 1973 all of a sudden?

Bret Hart vs. Booker T.

Winner gets a US Title shot at some point in the future. This makes me wonder: why is Bret wrestling on this show but not on pay per view? Feeling out process to start as this might actually get some significant time. Booker cranks on a wristlock to start but Bret nips up off the mat, only to be elbowed out to the floor. Back in and Booker grabs a headlock before an armdrag puts Bret on the floor again.

Hart comes back in and stomps away in the corner for his first advantage. We hit the chinlock on Booker but he fights up with some clotheslines in the corner. The ax kick connects for two and the fans are WAY into this all of a sudden. Booker puts on an armbar and we go to the back to see Disco messing with a guy in the satellite truck. At about 11pm, the NWO is going to take over the satellite feed and offers to triple the guy’s pay to take over the feed.

Back with Bret in control. How did he do it? Well he might have put on a grass skirt and done a rain dance as a sacrifice to the wombat god to make Booker fall over in a pool of orange juice. I know that sounds unlikely, but for all we know it happened because we were watching Disco talk to a satellite guy. Why couldn’t they do this before the match or if it’s SO important, do it during Bret’s chinlock or on a split screen?

Anyway, Bret drops an ax handle on Booker’s back and starts the Five Moves of Doom but sends Booker to the floor after the middle rope elbow. Booker tries to fight back but gets hit in the ribs with a chair. Back in and Bret stomps at the ribs but an elbow to the jaw stops Bret and a clothesline puts him down. Tony leaves to go moderate the Flair meeting as Bret suplexes Booker down and drops some legs. A belly to back suplex drops Booker but he rolls Hart up to escape a Sharpshooter attempt.

Instead Bret puts on the Figure Four but Booker survives for over a minute before making it to the rope. Back up and the flying forearm out of nowhere puts Bret down. There’s the spinning kick to the head as Booker’s leg is perfectly fine. He spins up and heads to the top but gets superplexed down. Bret gets the Sharpshooter on but Booker is right next to the ropes. Back up and Hart tries a sunset flip but Booker channels his inner Davey Boy Smith and falls down on Bret for the pin.

Rating: B. Booker’s lack of leg selling aside, this is one of the best WCW matches in a long time. It makes Booker look WAY more important and shows that maybe he’s getting a push for a change. The wrestling was good and more than that, Booker won completely clean with a nice counter. You can’t ask for more than that, except for maybe less Disco.

As we come back from a break, we get an ad for WCW Magazine. One of the featured articles is about the most mysterious man in wrestling, whose eyes are blacked out. You can see long curly hair though and the phrase WHAT ABOUT ME underneath the picture. This sort of thing never ceases to amaze me.

Stills of Mysterio/Konnan vs. the Outsiders from last night.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Disco Inferno

Tony is back on commentary. Hayashi comes out in the Glacier attire he purchased on Thunder a few weeks back. Before the match Disco says that this match has an international competitor so he wants to sing the National Anthem. He gets most of the way through before his mic is cut off. Disco isn’t pleased and attacks Hayashi for a fast two. Kaz is quickly thrown to the floor but comes back with a kick to the head.

A headscissors puts Disco on the apron, only to have him suplex Hayashi over the top and out to the floor. Disco heads outside but Kaz slides back in for a suicide dive. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Inferno, but he avoids a dropkick to take over again. The middle rope elbow gets two for Disco and he hooks a chinlock. Back up and a powerbomb is countered by a Kaz spinebuster but he misses a backsplash. The Chartbuster gives Disco the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but FAR better than you would have expected. The Glacier stuff comes off more like a joke than anything else as it’s literally just for the entrance and then it’s the same Kaz Hayashi. Disco is getting somewhere but he’s still presented as the same goof that he’s always been.

Brian Adams tells Norton that HE is the new leader of the Black and White. Norton’s confusion continues. Again, DOES NO ONE WATCH THE SHOW???

Nitro Girls in the arena.

Nitro Girls at Cal Berkeley.

Bobby Heenan has been named WCW Announcer of the Year by WCW Magazine.

Here are Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner, with the TV Champion continuing his Rick Rude bit (he even calls the fans Sacramento scumbags) by bringing in a girl to fawn all over him. Page isn’t here tonight because of the beating Steiner gave to him last night. Steiner brings up the 30 days stipulation which doesn’t exist, though to the best of my knowledge the live fans have no way of knowing that isn’t true. The music starts but Steiner isn’t done yet. He’s hurt everyone else and tonight there’s someone else he wants to go after: Goldberg.

Stills from Benoit/Malenko vs. Hennig/Windham last night. If you look at the frozen images, you can see how stupid it is step by step.

Chris Jericho vs. Hugh Morrus

Ralphus is now in a blue dress with a bit lower neckline. Before the match, Jericho implies that Saturn is gay because he wears the dress despite not having to anymore. They hit the floor for a chase right after the bell before Morrus slams Jericho down. A delayed gorilla press puts Jericho on the mat again as Steiner vs. Goldberg is official for later.

Morrus misses a top rope elbow and goes outside, allowing Jericho to nail a top rope cross body to take out Hugh and Jimmy Hart. Some flowers to Morrus’ back put him down and we hit the chinlock inside. A slap to Morrus’ chest wakes him up and Heenan is in full comedy mode about Ralphus. Morrus does the Jericho strut but Chris kicks the leg out.

Back up and Morrus counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb before nailing a running splash in the corner. Jericho avoids a charge in the corner and rolls him up for two with his feet on the ropes. Ralphus tries Morrus but Saturn comes out and strips the dress off the toothless wonder. Saturn goes in and hits Jericho with a Death Valley Driver, allowing No Laughing Matter to give Morrus the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a recent change to WCW and it’s getting annoying: long matches to set up a quick finish. I like long wrestling matches when they’re entertaining, but I can do without nine minutes of Chris Jericho vs. Hugh Morrus when we know Saturn is comingout due to Jericho’s earlier comments. The same thing was true of Kaz vs. Disco. It wasn’t entertaining but we had to sit through it forever anyway. I shouldn’t be able to make a sandwich during a Kaz Hayashi match.

Morrus gets in Saturn’s face post match and is shoved away. Saturn gets in the ring and tells Morrus to bring it. Referees break it up.

Hennig and Windham talk about how great they are until Benoit and Malenko show up and whip them with belts.

Kevin Nash vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Before the match, Nash says Hall might have cheated a little bit last night and the NWO is always standing for fair play. If Mysterio wants a match with Big Kev, come down and get one. Rey comes out and says that’s exactly what he wants. The bell rings and Nash offers a test of strength.

Instead it’s a knee to Rey’s ribs but he comes back with kicks the knee and a spinwheel kick puts Nash down. The Bronco Buster connects and the fans are going nuts….until Rey jumps into Snake Eyes. Nash throws him around the ring and loads up the Jackknife but Rey hammers on Nash’s head to knock him down and gets the huge upset. The look on Nash’s face is amazing.

Here’s Konnan’s new music video.

Horace, Norton, you know the deal.

Hennig and Windham come out and say the belts are the difference between being good and being great. Windham doesn’t think the Horsemen should get a title rematch and Hennig calls them sore losers.

Norton finally goes to Hollywood and asks what’s going on. Hogan says they’re looking for a leader and declares Norton the boss.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Ernest Miller, who has bought Glacier’s entrance which starts halfway down the aisle. Before the match, Miller complains about the music and wants his James Brown song. As is now the norm, we got to the Black and White’s locker room where Disco tells Norton that Miller called him out again. Miller actually does it this time and we’ve got a match.

Ernest Miller vs. Scott Norton

Miller accidentally kicks Norton down to start and puts on a quickly broken cobra clutch. Scott hammers away but gets kicked in the chest. Another kick drops Norton but he pops up and powerbombs Miller for a fast pin with his fingertip.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner

Non-title. Bagwell ensures us that there’s no Goldberg and Steiner talks trash before Goldberg’s music hits. They stare each other down until Steiner pounds on his back but Goldberg no sells a ram into the buckle. A superkick drops Steiner and Goldberg hammers away. Steiner is lifted into the air for some gorilla press repetitions as we take a break. Back with Steiner asking for timeout but Bagwell offers a distraction so Steiner can clothesline Goldberg down.

Steiner sends him into the steps and then back into the ring for trash talk and pounding. The elbow drop gets two and a belly to belly suplex plants Goldberg. Bagwell cuts the turnbuckle pad off again and dumps the referee. Goldberg reverses a whip to send Steiner back first into the exposed buckle before spearing Bagwell down. Steiner and Bagwell walk out but Rick Steiner returns to nail them both. Goldberg wins by DQ.

Rating: C. This was a decent power brawl and I like that they had a DQ instead of a champion getting pinned. Steiner vs. Goldberg would be a great power brawl once Scott had actually gotten over. The fact that Goldberg was actually on defense for awhile here made things much better.

The Black and White comes out and are easily dispatched.

Here’s a minute long video on the Nitro Girls’ swimsuit calendar.

Disco yells at the satellite guy who isn’t ready to hijack the feed.

Tony is in the meeting room (which looks like a living room, complete with couches, a coffee table and a large TV) where David and the Blonde are already on the couch. We cut to the back where Ric arrives. Hogan and Nash are shown watching on a monitor.

We cut to an NWO produced video parody of the sitdown meeting. David tells Disco Okerlund that he’s the new Space Mountain. Nash reprises his Arn Anderson impression to talk about spots as Vince is dressed as a bear (Mongo) in the background. Scott Hall comes in dressed as Piper but doesn’t try an accent. Hogan is Flair (complete with a fake nose) and takes off his clothes while ranting about how amazing Hogan is and how expensive his clothes are. Hogan fakes a heart attack and Disco says call the Hotline for more. Disco was great, but I thought he was Schiavone at first.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, a few good matches are dragged down by the stupid overdoing it of the rest. The Flair interview was hyped all night long and then they do the false advertising again which is going to tick off fans. The best part about it: they did this to their highest rating in a week where both Raw and Nitro aired in six months. Next week’s rating dropped over 10%. It’s the same stupid stuff where WCW tries to be cute and winds up shooting themselves in the foot.

There is good stuff on this show though, with Booker FINALLY getting a serious win over a big name and Mysterio pinning Nash clean. However there was a lot of bad going on as well, with long dull matches that are there to fill time and the really bad ending. The Black and White stuff is really growing on me though, as it’s clearly building to something. Having the segments be thirty seconds instead of three minutes like they were on Thunder a few weeks back makes all the difference in the world.

Overall this show felt like a modern day Raw: if it was an hour shorter and cut out so much of the pointless filler, it’s FAR more entertaining and easier to sit through. Also it would be nice if they didn’t hype something up for three hours then do a parody. That kind of stuff could work when they were way out front but now it’s going to catch up with them.

SuperBrawl 1999
Date: February 21, 1999
Location: Oakland Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 15,880
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’ve been building to this one for awhile now and to WCW’s credit, I’m kind of interested in how the show goes. The feuds have been well built and if there’s ever been a night that can turn WCW around before the abyss, it’s this one. Everything is in place for the good guys to go over and for all the heels to get what’s coming to them. Unfortunately, something tells me I have a better chance of winning Miss America 1983 than that happening. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Thunder, showing the Blonde in a bed sheet being given tickets to SuperBrawl. It’s also implied that she’s been shocking him with the taser.

Opening video focusing on people winning the World Title over the last year or two and how Hogan ruined what the belt meant.

The set looks a lot like the Nitro set but with no ramp.

The announcers talk about the show a little bit.

We recap the Tag Team Title tournament and how many teams have split up on the way. Tonight the Horsemen have to beat Barry Windham and Curt Hennig twice in a row to become champions.

The title belts are in a glass case in front of the entrance.

Gene says call the Hotline.

Disco Inferno vs. Booker T.

This was added on Thunder due to Disco interrupting Booker trying to get Stevie to leave Harlem Heat and getting shoved for his efforts. Disco cost Booker a match later in the night. They stall to start as Tony finally admits that the main story is no longer about tradition vs. NWO but rather good vs. evil. In other words, what wrestling has been since it got started. Booker elbows him in the face to start but gets kneed in the ribs. The crowd is REALLY hot tonight. Disco hits a swinging neckbreaker but Booker is right back up.

A slam puts Disco down but he walks into an armdrag. Booker gives a look that says “you got me” so Disco dances in the corner. That earns him a bunch of right hands to the face and some loud chops for good measure. The flying forearm gets two but Disco nails a knee to the ribs and puts on a sleeper. Booker fights out but misses the side kick and gets clotheslined out to the floor.

After sending Booker into the steps, Disco takes him back inside for the dancing elbow drop and two. Booker comes right back with the spinning kick to the face and the ax kick. Disco goes up and jumps into the whip spinebuster but he comes right back with a hard running clothesline. The Chartbuster is countered into a belly to back suplex and Booker spins up. Another side kick drops Disco but he pops up again as Booker goes up top. Booker shoves him down and nails the Harlem Hangover to finally get the pin.

Rating: B-. Who would have thought this would have been this good? Booker T. is one of the few bright spots in what is becoming a dreadful WCW. He goes out there, puts on consistently decent to good matches and doesn’t get dragged down into bad storylines. I’m glad he got a spot on the card here as he’s more than earned it. Hopefully he gets a better push soon. Disco looked good out there too. His in ring work is always forgotten and that’s a shame.

Chris Jericho vs. Saturn

Loser wears a dress, or has to keep wearing a dress depending on who loses. Ralphus is still in the pink dress and Scott Dickinson is coming out with Jericho. Saturn’s dress is a bit more form fitting this time and the top half is the same as a lot of wrestlers’ singlets. Dickinson is refereeing because WCW’s bosses don’t think these things through. After the bell, Jericho says Saturn looks ridiculous and calls him a cross eyed cross dressing freak. Saturn is even an embarrassment to Ralphus. Saturn finally has had enough and he lays out Jericho with a backdrop to the floor.

Jericho gets whipped into the barricade twice and Saturn dives off said barricade with an ax handle to the head. A soda to the head thankfully has no effect on Saturn but a whip into the barricade works a bit better. Back inside with Saturn grabbing a t-bone suplex as Tony and Bobby continue to interrupt each other in a joke that has gone on all show now. Saturn catapults Jericho back to the floor and follows him with a nice plancha.

Now Saturn sends Ralphus into the ring and rips the dress off of him, which might be an improvement. Jericho uses the distraction to kick Saturn down, only to be taken to the mat and have his head rammed into the canvas. Dickinson hasn’t been a factor at all yet. Jericho blocks another plancha but he jumps off the top and into Saturn’s boot. Saturn hits a frog splash for no cover but Jericho grabs a rollup for two.

In the corner and Saturn wraps the bottom of his dress over Jericho’s head and hammers away. Saturn rolls through a cross body and puts on the Rings of Saturn but Jericho gets his feet in the ropes. A Falcon’s Arrow from Saturn looks to set up the Lionsault but Jericho rolls away and hits the real version for two. Jericho is frustrated and walks into the Death Valley Driver. Saturn hits another one on Dickinson….and walks out for the countout. Or is it a DQ? Penzer says countout so we’ll go with that.

Rating: C. Good match here but the ending stops whatever they had going. More importantly though, what in the world was the point of Dickinson? He was evil, got suspended, came back and did absolutely nothing. The match was good enough, but I don’t see why you don’t give Saturn a clean win here.

Konnan and Rey are ready for the hair vs. mask match later. Rey slammed Luger’s arm in a car door on Thursday. These are the kind of guys that should have been in the tournament if it was actually something serious.

We recap Page vs. Steiner. Scott claims that Kimberly wants him so he threw her out of a moving car. Steiner then sued Page for $1 million for emotional damages. Tonight it’s Steiner’s title vs. 30 days with Kimberly. Why Page would agree to adding that is beyond me.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo is challenging after turning heel due to the team performing badly in the tournament. A hurricanrana and armdrag drop Chavo before a dropkick sends him to the floor. Back in and another clothesline sends Chavo back to the floor for more stalling. Kidman gets tired of waiting and baseball slides Guerrero into the barricade. Tony tells us that Luger is out of the hair vs. mask match later due to a biceps injury caused by Rey’s attack on Thunder but Nash has a replacement partner.

Kidman tries another dive but only hits steel to give Guerrero control. Back in and the brainbuster gets two for the challenger and we hit the chinlock. Kidman gets sent to the floor and Chavo follows him out with a big flip dive. Back in and Kidman backdrops his way out of a powerbomb attempt but he comes up favoring his back.

Chavo goes up, only to dive into a dropkick to the ribs. Kidman can’t follow up though and Chavo grabs a top rope hurricanrana for two. The BK Bomb connects for two but Chavo pops back up and tries a powerbomb. He deserves the faceplant he gets and Kidman hits the Shooting Star to retain. To continue Tony’s odd way of saying things, he said Kidman dragged Chavo to the corner “for proximity purposes.”

Rating: B-. Another good match here as you would expect from these two. Chavo is a good worker in the ring and now that he’s just a guy instead of being completely insane he’ll be able to showcase that a lot more. Kidman is getting really close to being a great champion but he has to face Mysterio at some point to cement that status.

Video on Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

Tag Team Titles: Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

This is a tournament final, but since it’s double elimination and only Hennig/Windham are undefeated, Malenko and Benoit have to win two matches in a row. If Hennig and Windham win the first fall, they win the belts. Benoit and Malenko have already won three matches this week to get here. Heenan notices a nice plot point: you have current Horsemen against former Horsemen here.

Dean chases Windham around to start before they hit the mat to fight over hammerlocks. Off to Benoit vs. Hennig as the fans are still as hot as they were earlier in the night. Tony talks about Hennig, Malenko and Windham all being second generation wrestlers. Heenan: “So is referee Mickie Jay.” Tony: “Who was his father?” Heenan: “Oh he wasn’t a wrestling referee. He umpired a peewee football league in Moline, Illinois back in the 40s.”

Hennig chops Benoit in the corner so Benoit chops him so hard that Hennig falls to the mat. They slap it out and it turns into a fight in the corner. The running clothesline puts Hennig on the floor as Tony says Benoit has never been a champion before, meaning Benoit’s TV Title wins at house shows either don’t count, or Tony wasn’t informed of them. Barry comes back in and hammers away in the corner, only to get chopped right back.

Off to Malenko who dropkicks Windham into the ropes. Barry is a good two and a half feet from Hennig but Hennig comes in anyway. The referee puts him out but Windham gets in a cheap shot to take over. That was kind of an odd sequence. Hennig comes in legally and gets nailed by Dean, allowing him to roll to the corner for a hot tag to Benoit. Chris comes in and beats up both cowboys with ease and a backbreaker gets two on Curt.

A LOUD chop has Hennig in trouble and it’s back to Malenko for some shots in the corner. Heenan wants all car races to have no brakes because he likes his wrestling fast. Benoit nails the Swan Dive but Windham breaks up the cover. Curt gets crotches on the top rope and dropkicked out to the floor but comes back in with a low blow right in front of the referee. That’s perfectly fine with the son of a Moline football league umpire and Barry comes back in for two off a gutwrench suplex.

Dean gets sent to the floor and chopped up against the barricade for two back inside. Hennig gets sent into the corner as the fans think this is boring. Benoit takes Curt’s head off with a clothesline but Barry comes in with a cheap shot to take over. The superplex gets two as Dean makes the save and it’s back to Hennig for more chops. Hennig’s running neck snap gets two but Benoit finally rolls over and tags in Dean to clean house. Barry gets caught in the Cloverleaf and Benoit stops Hennig, forcing the submission for the first fall.

Since this is basically a two fall match I’ll save the rating for after the whole thing is done. There’s a thirty second rest period between falls.

Windham has taken his belt off and chokes Dean down, which there is no reason for the referee not to see. Barry keeps choking with the belt and pulls Dean to the mat for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This match is proof that WCW just does not understand what it’s doing. After the last month of putting up with this way too complicated tournament where WCW didn’t even know who was in it half the time, we sit through a long yet good match where the Horsemen win, only to have them lose the second fall a minute later because it’s double elimination. Not only was the tournament boring, but now the ending makes people mad.

Who in the world thinks Hennig and Windham deserve Tag Team Titles? They’ve teamed together for all of a few weeks and now they get the belts after the Horsemen win four matches in a week to lose the last fall in a minute? This is bad storytelling and completely missing what your audience wants. Yeah Benoit and Malenko can come back and win them later, but all the momentum and the interest is gone now. Horrible decision and just a stupid move. For WCW to think Barry Windham is more valuable than Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko in 1999 is ridiculous.

As for the match itself, it wasn’t bad but the refereeing here was atrocious. There’s a difference between relaxing the rules a bit and having referees mean as much as ECW referees. When a guy is punching the other man low right in front of the referee, something should be done. Otherwise, why bother having them there?

We recap the US Title situation which went from Hart defending against Benoit to Roddy Piper defending against Scott Hall, and all it took was Will Sasso from MadTV. Yeah Benoit loses again because Roddy Piper needs this push.

Kevin Nash/??? vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is Rey’s mask vs. Liz’s hair due to Lex Luger bullying Rey. Nash’s mystery partner is….Scott Hall. Liz is looking great here in a short skirt, tight low cut red top to show off the surgery and thigh high boots. Luger is seconding the Outsiders. Heenan rants about how stupid he thinks Mysterio’s mask in the most heelish thing he’s said in a long time. I know Heenan is mean most of the time but it’s usually more sly than flat out mean.

Hall throws the toothpick at Mysterio so Rey throws it right back. Rey gets thrown down twice in a row but he comes back with a quick armdrag. A springboard seated senton (called a Thesz Press by Schiavone) drops Hall and Rey nails Nash with a forearm for good measure. He dives too many times though and gets caught in a fall away slam. Nash comes in and throws Rey down by the throat as Heenan keeps ripping into Mysterio about the mask.

Back to Hall for some clotheslines and you can clearly see a purple and yellow Razor Ramon elbow pad sticking out from under the Wolfpack pad. Rey escapes the Outsider’s Edge and tags in Konnan who hammers away until Nash gets in a cheap shot from the apron. There’s the big boot choke in the corner before it’s back to Hall as Rey plays cheerleader on the apron. Konnan fights back but a double clothesline puts he and Hall down. Liz and Luger seem to be plotting something on the floor.

Rey gets the tag and dropkicks both Outsiders before using Nash’s back as a launching pad to dropkick Hall a second time. Everything breaks down and the fans are getting back into it. Luger pulls Konnan to the floor and sends him into the steps as Rey hits a moonsault press on Nash, nailing him in the head with his knee to knock Kevin silly. Liz distracts the referee though, allowing Hall to give Rey the Edge and put Nash on top for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as the previous match but the ending is just as stupid. As soon as you knew Liz’s hair would be on the line you knew the NWO would win, but WCW’s stupidity continues as they think Rey is better without his mask. Heaven forbid you sell the thing and make a bunch of money off of it or something like that. Also the name King of Mystery doesn’t have quite the same meaning now. This is another match that didn’t need to happen and whose only purpose seems to be to disappoint the fans.

Rey unmasks and Nash tells him to put it back on. Mysterio looks very young.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Scott is defending and has been after Page’s wife Kimberly, including throwing her out of a car. Assuming this stipulation isn’t dropped, it’s title vs. 30 days with Kimberly here. Scott, sans Buff here, brings a girl in from the audience and gently kisses her after talking trash about Page. It’s a serious Page this time and the champion stalls on the floor to start. Page will have none of that and sends him into the barricade before they head inside.

Punches and choking have Steiner in early trouble but the referee drags Page off of him, allowing Scott to get in a rake to the eyes. They head outside again and both guys are sent into the barricade. Back in and Page scores with a top rope clothesline and a neckbreaker sends Scott back to the floor. Buff Bagwell runs out to give Steiner a pep talk but Page tells them both to come on. Both guys get atomic drops but the numbers game catches up to him as Steiner nails a clothesline.

Steiner chokes on the ropes and Buff gets in a few chokes of his own. Page gets tied in the Tree of Woe for even more choking. The fans are far quieter than they were about an hour ago. Interesting how having heels win matches they didn’t need to win over underdogs will do that to you. More punching in the corner has Page in trouble but he comes back with right hands of his own. A belly to belly gets two for Steiner but Page pulls the champions trunks halfway down on a rollup for two.

Steiner nails a backbreaker as Buff has put a chair in the corner. A big chair shot to the back (even Tony says the referee should have heard that) puts Page down and Bagwell uses some wire cutters to unhook the turnbuckle pads. Page hits a very low headbutt to escape the Recliner but the referee ejects Buff. A discus lariat puts Steiner on the floor and Page follows him out with a plancha.

That’s fine with Scott as he whips Page into the steps but takes too long going after the steps, allowing Page to nail Steiner with a clothesline. Back in and Page gets crotched on the top, setting up a top rope Frankensteiner for two. The Diamond Dream (jumping spinning DDT) drops Steiner but Page can’t follow up. Instead Steiner sends Page into the exposed buckle and GOOD GRIEF WHY DO WE HAVE REFEREES IF THEY JUST WATCH PEOPLE CHEAT??? Robinson ejected Bagwell for taking off the pad, saw Steiner move the middle pad, and then saw Page go into the buckle and is totally fine with it. Of course he is.

Steiner rams Page back first into the exposed buckle three times because there’s nothing wrong with that apparently. Page passes out in the Recliner. There’s no mention made of the 30 days with Kimberly, meaning that Thunder is even more useless now because the stipulations made on that show are completely forgotten three days later.

Rating: D. This would be the third straight match where the fan favorite and logical winner has been completely destroyed and at least the second match where the referee doesn’t seem to mind cheating at all. The fans are getting quieter and quieter every single match and I can’t blame them at all.

Heenan brings up the thirty days because he’s the only person there with a brain (maybe there’s something to that name after all) and Tony completely ignores him because continuity is a bad word in WCW.

Page is put in a neck brace and taken away on a stretcher, despite Steiner working over his back for most of the match. The fans chant “PAGE SUCKS” because he’s a hero who has been wronged, meaning he has absolutely no chance at winning a major match in this promotion.

Bam Bam Bigelow is with Mark Madden (who is actually fatter than Bigelow here) and says that this was his plan tonight as he’s gotten in Goldberg’s head and gotten a contract out of it.

US Title: Scott Hall vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is defending. Sign in the crowd: “Jericho, make the Wight choice.” Disco is here with Hall, who takes a full theme song before he comes through the entrance. Hall shoves Piper back and gets slapped in the face for his efforts. Roddy, seeming fine after the big beatdown on Monday, throws the kilt over Hall’s face and drags him down to the mat for early control. Some left hands drop Hall and a slow motion neckbreaker gets one.

Roddy pulls some of Hall’s hair out and knocks Disco off the apron. Hall does the comedic sell of some atomic drops before getting poked in the eyes. Piper is sent to the floor where Hall sends him face first into the steps. Back in and Hall hammers away before tying Piper up in the Tree of Woe. Disco gets in some choking and we hit the abdominal stretch with Inferno helping. Heenan actually gives us some insight: Disco pulling on the arm isn’t meant to hurt Piper, but to prevent him from hiptossing Hall.

The referee catches the cheating and stops it, followed by Piper immediately hiptssing Hall to escape. Score one for Heenan. The fans are just DEAD for this. Piper puts on the sleeper and no one cares. I mean I literally do not see one person on their feet or showing any happiness whatsoever. Nash comes in and the distraction lets Hall roll Piper up with his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: F. If the fans are that silent about a title match, the match can only be considered a failure. On top of that, this is the match that we lost Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit for. Roddy Piper was the United States Champion in 1999 and lost it to Scott Hall. This was deemd a better choice than Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit. Let that sink in for a minute.

Piper won’t give up the belt post match until Disco takes it from him. Roddy tries to fight them off before bailing. Naturally no one is interested in helping the veteran because why would a good guy get any support?

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldberg

The fans go NUTS for Goldberg because they know they’ve finally got someone they can cheer for that can win. It’s in a meaningless match that should have headlined a Nitro in mid-December but on this show it’s exactly what we need. Goldberg is billed from Stone Mountain, Georgia here for the only time that I can remember.

Tony brings up the challenge that Goldberg made on the Tonight Show that shocked the world. Anyway the fans are…..oh you wanted to know what the challenge was? Well that’s not important enough for Tony to specify. Thanks to the magic of Youtube, the challenge was Goldberg challenging Steve Austin to a fight for $100k of Goldberg’s own money. This is the only time I’ve ever heard this mentioned and I never heard anything about this from anyone in the WWF, so I’m thinking this is WCW panicking and trying to get someone to notice them.

Quick sidebar here. In the clip from the Tonight Show, Goldberg says that people have been calling him a Steve Austin ripoff. I’ve heard people say this for years and it has to be one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever heard. Other than being bald and wearing black trunks, what do these two have in common? They have different styles, different physiques, they’re about as far apart on promos as you can possibly be (Goldberg barely talked for over a year), and Goldberg barely even has a character. Other than two on the surface characteristics and the timing, they’re about as opposite as you can be.

Anyway, on to the match. They get in each others’ faces and shout a lot (oh dear they’re both bald. I CAN’T TELL THEM APART BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM SO SIMILAR!) before Goldberg shoves Bigelow back. Bigelow hammers away but a shoulder only keeps Goldberg down for half a second. A delayed slam drops Bam Bam and sends him out to the floor. Back in and Goldberg nails a flying shoulder before hitting an FU and the worst looking cross armbreaker (it was missing the cross and the breaking parts) I’ve ever seen.

Bigelow rolls to the floor as the fans chant ECW. He trips up Goldberg and hits Goldberg low a few times, with the referee telling him to cut it out. Now Bigelow goes after Goldberg’s knee, wrapping it around the post and putting on a leg lock inside. Thank goodness they went this route instead of using the Goldberg formula. The fans were dangerously close to being entertaining.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Goldberg fights up and slams Bigelow to get a breather. He can’t follow up though and Bam Bam nails a clothesline. The top rope headbutt connects for two before Goldberg wakes up and hits the spear, a superkick, another spear and the Jackhammer for the pin. He BARELY got Bigelow up.

Rating: D+. This was decent enough but I have no reason why Goldberg is out of the main event scene. He never got a rematch and never really talked about wanting revenge on the NWO. Instead he jumped back a month for his showdown with Bigelow that I don’t think many people cared for. Goldberg beating another monster is a fine idea, but wouldn’t Goldberg vs. Nash have made more sense? At least with Luger there’s a reason for Goldberg not to go after him.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Now, in a normal wrestling company, when the heels win almost every single major match, it would usually be a sign that we get a feel good moment to end the show. You might as well start making out Flair’s tombstone now. Flair comes in very calmly and it’s a slow start. A hard chop in the corner has Hogan in trouble but he takes Ric into the corner for some knees to the ribs. Flair gets backdropped and clotheslined in the corner as this is starting to look like Starrcade 1997.

They trade chops in the corner and Flair hits the knee drop. That’s more like it, but as soon as I say that Hogan hits a clothesline out of the corner. The Flair Flip in the corner sends Ric to the floor and a chair shot to the head busts him open. Back in and it’s all Hogan and he slams Flair off the top. Some elbow drops are no sold and Flair is ticked off. That lasts all of two seconds as Hogan nails him in the corner and whips him with the weightlifting belt.

Flair absorbs the shots…and is knocked down by a belt shot to the head. Ric chops away in the corner and Hogan HULKS UP. Thankfully Flair kicks him low (the referee is fine with it. Again.) and takes off the weightlifting belt to whip Hogan a few times. Now Hogan is bleeding so Flair bites at the cut. Cue the Blonde in a red dress (Tony recognizes her, which makes me wonder WHY HE NEVER MENTIONED IT IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS) to slap Flair.

Ric hammers away in the corner and gets two off a vertical suplex, but the referee is bumped on the kickout. Hogan elbows the referee for good measure before nailing Flair with the big boot. The legdrop misses though, but we’ve got a masked man. Flair is going after the leg and Heenan thinks the masked man is Bischoff. Whoever he is, he uses the taser on Flair and holds hands with the Blonde, giving Hogan the pin and the title.

Rating: F. I’ll get to the masked man and how stupid it is in a minute. The match was about what you would expect from a Hogan match at this point. The bigger problem though was the lack of a payoff. Flair has gotten destroyed every step of the way and now he gets beaten up in the big match. This is another example of a match that should have been a layup but instead of scoring, they beat themselves over the head with a brick. Horrible match and idea in general.

The masked man celebrates with Hogan and the Blonde. The mask comes off and it’s David Flair, because beating up, humiliating and beating up Ric Flair again wasn’t enough. The NWO celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. You know what the worst part of this show is? The first fifty minutes. Those were some solid matches that got the crowd going and put them in a good mood. It’s a shame that no one is going to remember any of them because of how horrible the rest of the show was. I can’t say a show is a failure when the first third was good, but that’s the extent of the positives.

Let’s start with David Flair. If you look at this story as a whole, it makes very little sense. I understand the idea: David is young and was given the Blonde to convince him to turn on his father. Why such a young man would be stupid enough to accept help from someone that destroyed him is beyond me, but that’s a common hole in wrestling logic. You would think that Ric could find his son a dozen gorgeous women (which he just happened to do in a few months but we’ll get there later), but instead we get to humiliate Ric AGAIN because why would the fans need a hero to cheer for?

That should be the subtitle of this show: Who Needs Heroes? Other than Goldberg winning a pretty meaningless match, the biggest face to win here was Booker T., in another match that doesn’t mean much. This show was all about the NWO and making sure they looked as dominant as possible and taking out every bit of their competition in the process.

I rarely get angry doing these reviews, but this show was so bad that I was actually getting ticked off watching it fifteen years after it happened and knowing what was coming. That’s how stupid this show was and somehow, WCW is going to get WORSE. This show wasn’t just doing things wrong. This show was seeing what was the right move and running as far away from it as they could. It’s one of the most maddening shows I have ever seen and leaves me with almost nothing to look forward to.

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Monday Nitro #176
Date: February 15, 1999
Location: Entertainment Hall, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the last Nitro before SuperBrawl and things are starting to get a bit more insane. The main stories coming out of last week are Roddy Piper winning the US Title and Hollywood Hogan being especially evil. Also of note is the Tag Team Title tournament, which has a lot of teams left and only two shows to go before the finals on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page with Steiner going after Kimberly and throwing her out of a running car last week.

The announcers tell us that Kimberly is recovering at an undisclosed location.

Nitro Girls.

Tony updates us on the tag team tournament. For Benoit and Malenko to win, they’ll have to win five times in a row this week. Hennig and Windham are already in the finals on Sunday.

Arn Anderson destroys Disco Inferno in the back but security takes him out in handcuffs.

Eric Bischoff is a chauffeur this week. Flair and some businessmen like his little hat. Bischoff has to open the door for them.

Opening video.

We look at Piper winning the US Title last week.

Jerry Flynn vs. Saturn

Saturn is still in the dress. Tony keeps talking about the tournament. Benoit and Malenko will face Dave Taylor/Fit Finlay with the winners facing Mike Enos/Bobby Duncum Jr. later tonight. They trade hammerlocks to start until Flynn fires off some kicks to take over. Saturn comes back with a modified ax kick for two before putting on a leg lock, sending Jerry running into the ropes. Off to a modified ankle lock but Jerry makes it to the ropes again. Saturn doesn’t let go so Jerry crawls up the ropes and kicks Saturn in the head to escape.

They slug it out until Saturn kicks him down again but can’t follow up. A legsweep puts Saturn down again and Jerry puts on a cross armbreaker. Saturn stands up to break it and the fans still aren’t all that interested. A springboard cross body gets two for Saturn but he gets caught by a spinwheel kick in the corner. Saturn hammers away in the corner but Scott Dickinson gets on the apron for a distraction. Jericho comes in with a kendo stick, only to walk into a suplex. Flynn spin kicks Saturn down for the upset pin.

Rating: D. Why is this feud still going and why in the world am I supposed to care about Scott Dickinson? The match was more of Flynn using all of his kicks and not being interesting and then it’s about a crooked and suspended referee. Why is that supposed to be interesting? I’d love an answer to that question. WWF is coming off Rock vs. Mankind in a last man standing match and Big Show debuting to break up Austin vs. Vince the previous night, and WCW stars with a freaking referee story while having Saturn wear a dress and fight Jerry Flynn. This company makes my head hurt.

Speaking of stories that haven’t died for some reason, Bischoff is still being tortured by bad acting from the “businessmen”. This is used as a tie-in to Will Sasso from MadTV wrestling Bret Hart tonight. Flair gets a call about Arn getting arrested. With the privacy screen up, Bischoff calls his “guys”, saying he’ll be there soon.

Clip of Mongo getting blinded last week.

Clip from MadTV, which we saw last week.

Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis/Blitzkreig vs. Super Calo/El Dandy/Hector Garza

Lucha rules, meaning rolling to the floor counts as a tag. Larry doesn’t like the rules changing but Tony says rules don’t matter anyway. Blitzkreig works on Calo’s arm to start but Calo sidesteps a moonsault and elbows him in the face. Tony tells us about Rey Mysterio getting beaten up by Lex Luger before the show came on the air as the fans chant for Goldberg.

A double tag brings in Garza to face Psychosis with Hector nailing a nice superkick. Garza misses a top rope cross body but reaches out and grabs Psychosis for an armdrag. It might have been an armdrag all along but it looked awesome. Juvy and Dandy come in to trade slaps before Dandy takes over with a hard right hand. Juvy comes right back by rolling up Dandy’s body into a faceplant as everything breaks down for a few seconds. In the melee, Calo gets in a cheap shot to Guerrera, allowing Dandy to hook a chinlock.

Garza goes to the corner but gets slammed down, triggering another triple teaming to the fans’ delight. Blitzkreig comes in and avoids a splash in the corner as we take a break. Back with Psychosis holding Calo in a leg scissors on the mat. Juvy comes back in with some dropkicks but he knocks Calo into his corner for a tag to El Dandy. The jam-up guy goes after the leg before it’s off to Garza for more of the same.

Hector misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Blitzkreig who stomps Garza into the corner for a tag to Calo. Psychosis comes in as well and takes Calo down, setting up a powerbomb with Juvy adding a simultaneous guillotine legdrop for two. Calo rolls to the floor so it’s back to Garza who ges Stunned across the top rope, followed by a springboard missile dropkick for two. Dandy is knocked to the floor but Guerrera botches Air Juvy.

Garza dives onto Dandy for no apparent reason before Psychosis dives onto Garza and Guerrera, allowing Blitzkrieg to hit a springboard spinwheel kick for two on Calo. Bliztkrieg is sat on the top rope but Calo falls off the corner. Back in and Calo hurricanranas Blitzkreig out of the corner but Blitzkrieg doesn’t flip and just jumps down to the mat while Calo goes flying. A Phoenix Splash from Blitzkrieg is enough to pin Calo.

Rating: D. What the heck was THAT? This match ran nearly twenty minutes and might as well have been a 1970s six man tag for the first fifteen or so minutes. The ending started to pick up a bit when they weren’t hitting their own partners or botching spots. Why in the world would you have luchadors do a bunch of mat wrestling? It’s like hiring LeBron James to paint your house. You’re wasting the talent. Also the lucha rules were used like twice. This was a mess and more confusing than anything else.

We’re in the hotel where the Blonde is in a towel and asks the cameraman to get her fresh towels and lunch. She’s much less sweet here.

A helicopter spotlight is on a limo, presumably carrying Flair, the businessmen and Bischoff. Some Hummers are following the limo but Flair tells the businessmen that it’s fine. The limo pulls over and two men in black clothes and ski masks (one is tall with long perfect hair sticking out of the back, meaning it’s probably Nash) carrying a pipe come up to the door. Another guy, clearly Hogan, tells the businessmen to get out. Flair hits Hogan but backs off from Nash with the pipe.

The spotlight is on them as the Hummers circle around them. Hogan gets back up and nails Flair as five other guys all in black get out and beat up Flair. Hogan whips Flair with the NWO weightlifting belt as some of the other guys hold him. They all put their fists together and Hogan says Flair isn’t making it to SuperBrawl.

One of the guys takes off his mask to reveal Buff Bagwell. Nash holds Flair so Hogan can hammer away as Stevie Ray and Vincent have taken off their masks too. The beating just keeps going and Hogan has hurt his hand. Everyone gets in a shot and Nash puts on Flair’s tie. More whipping ensues and Hogan again says Flair isn’t making it to SuperBrawl. Flair is left laying after this went on for over ten minutes.

Nitro Girls. The announcers make no mention of what we just saw, which is the rule of thumb anymore with these segments.

Same video on the tag team tournament. This includes talking about teams that have already been eliminated. The SuperBrawl graphic at the end also says that the show is “tomorrow, February 21.”

Tag Team Title Tournament: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Fit Finlay/Dave Taylor

The winners face Mike Enos and Scotty Riggs tonight and the losers are eliminated. Yes Scotty Riggs, as the tournament has been changed again. Assuming the winners of that face Adams and Horace on Thunder, Van Hammer and Kaz Hayashi have been eliminated with just one loss. Finlay drives a shoulder to Benoit’s ribs in the corner to start before cranking on somehting like a Crossface.

Benoit fights back with a headlock before hiptossing the Irishman down. A double tag brings in Malenko vs. Taylor with absolutely nothing happening before it’s back to Benoit who gets his arm worked on even more by Dave. Back to Finlay who drops Benoit throat first across the top rope and out to the floor where Taylor gets in some shots of his own. Malenko comes back in and suplexes Finlay down. It’s strange to have the commentators not mentioning what happened before the match started.

We take a break and come back with Taylor suplexing Dean for two. Taylor rips at his face a bit before Finlay slams Dean face first onto the apron. He drops Dean throat first across the barricade like he did to Benoit with the ropes earlier. Benoit tries to come in, allowing Finlay to get in some shots of his own. Finlay misses a charge into the post and the hot tag brings in Benoit. Chris cleans house with the running clothesline and snap suplex for two. Finlay picks him up for a tombstone but Dean breaks it up with a dropkick. Malenko comes back in sans tag and avoids a Taylor charge in the corner, setting up the Cloverleaf for the submission.

Rating: C-. This felt a step off the whole way through. It didn’t help that the winners were pretty obvious given that Windham/Hennig are waiting in the finals already. The match was long again but these guys are more capable of filling in a match that long. Still not great but this show has been off all night.

Goldberg video.

We see Kimberly being thrown out of the car again last week.

Back from a break with the Nitro Girls standing at the announcers’ desk to talk all serious about what happened to Kimberly. Heenan: “Are they going to dance?”

We recap Bret losing the US Title last week thanks to Will Sasso. This sets up the following.

Bret Hart vs. Will Sasso

This is also due to Hart “breaking character” when filming MadTV and attacking Sasso. I’ve seen the clip a few times and I thought that was the joke. Thankfully Tony told me what the real idea was supposed to be because it was really badly explained. Sasso, from MadTV mind you, is overweight and comes out with another cast member named Debra Wilson. Bret destroys Sasso to start and gets a chair to sit down in the middle of the ring. Sasso gets beaten up on the floor but Wilson takes the chair from Hart…..and turns on Sasso by hitting him with the chair. Back in and the Sharpshooter ends this.

Rating: F. What the heck am I even watching anymore? What purpose did this serve? Better question: how does this make me want to buy SuperBrawl? This was Bret Hart beating up a fat guy with help from an actress I’ve never heard of. I don’t remember MadTV being a big deal at this point, but did it ever warrant this kind of time on a wrestling show?

No one comes out to save Sasso or confront Hart, making this even more meaningless. Unless I missed it on an earlier show, the time and date of Bret’s appearnace on MadTV was NEVER mentioned.

The NWO arrives with Hogan still wearing the ski mask. They come in through the crowd and over the barricade so Hogan can talk about being from Hollyhood. He sends the rest of the team to the back to have a party and finally lifts the mask. Hogan is willing to give Flair his title shot tonight because Flair is in the back covering up the gray in his hair. He counts to ten and of course Flair doesn’t make it out.

At eight though, Roddy Piper answers the count and says he’s Hogan’s reality check. Hogan is fighting him instead and the match is on right now with the World Title on the line.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

One might suggest that this is a match that should be announced more than five seconds in advance. Then again one might suggest that this show has been a huge mess but that’s a much bigger problem to solve. It’s a brawl to start with Piper very slowly driving down to the mat. As in I thought something was wrong with the video. Hogan is knocked to the floor and Piper follows him out with right hands before sending him into the post.

Back in and an atomic drop has Hogan in even more trouble before a right hands gets two for Piper. Hogan goes for the leg to take Piper to the floor for some choking. A hard chair shot to the back has Piper in even more trouble and Hogan whips him over the back with the weightlifting belt. Even more choking ensues but Piper comes back with belt shots to take over. Roddy puts on a sleeper but Hall comes in with the tazer for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was exactly what you would expect from Hollywood Hogan vs. Roddy Piper in 1999. It lasted less than five minutes and was a bunch of non-wrestling before the NWO came in for a disqualification. That’s a great way to treat your US Champion a week after he won the title, because Scott Hall of all people needs the title match coming up right?

Piper gets beaten up and Hall puts on the kilt for a little dance.

Over an hour later, someone in a cowboy hat finds Flair in the field and carries him to his jeep. The guy doesn’t look like anyone in WCW so I guess we’re supposed to believe he’s just a random guy.

Scott Steiner is suing Diamond Dallas Page for $1 million.

Luger and Liz talk about Konnan and say nothing of note.

Video on Piper vs. Hall.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Mike Enos/Scotty Riggs

Losers are eliminated. Riggs stomps on Malenko in the corner to start but Dean stomps away back in the other corner. Scotty comes back with his dropkick and a running corner splash. Off to Enos vs. Benoit with Chris easily taking him down with a drop toehold. The Horsemen take their turns on Mike until he drives Dean into the corner to take over. Riggs puts on a chinlock followed by a knee to the ribs. Enos comes back in for his own chinlock before Riggs changes without a tag and puts on the third chinlock in about ninety seconds.

We take a break and come back with the guy that saved Flair working on his engine. Flair tries to get out of the truck but the driver puts him back in.

Back with Benoit stomping away on Riggs’ leg before it’s off to Malenko for more of the same. Enos gets in a cheap shot to take over as this boring match continues. Malenko goes up top but dives into a powerslam for no cover. Instead it’s back to Riggs for the two count and everything breaks down. Riggs gets another near fall off a forearm to the back of Dean’s head followed by a belly to back suplex for the same. The fans seem really bored by this. Riggs misses a dropkick and the hot tag brings in Benoit. The Horsemen whip them together and Benoit counters a suplex into the Crossface to advance.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but it was incredibly boring. At the end of the day, I need someone better than Riggs and Enos to make me interested in a match, especially when it’s obvious that the Horsemen are going to win. Benoit and Malenko work well together, but I really wish we could just have a regular tournament so they don’t have to waste so much time getting through these horrible opponents.

The truck keeps going. The announcers haven’t mentioned any of these videos all night.

A much more cheerful Blonde is in a short robe on a bed and says next time will be better than this one.

Buffer comes out to announce the main event, even though there are no matches left scheduled. The NWO comes out in street clothes and Hogan tells Buffer to get out. He says Flair is hiding in his dressing room, but he’ll give Flair a twenty count to get out here. The referee counts and Tony sees the truck pulling up and Flair falling out of the door.

Ric pulls an axe handle off the back of the truck and staggers into the arena as Tony is completely lost. Heenan thinks Flair is drunk. Tony actually uses his brains and sees the bruises, saying Flair looks like he’s taken a horrible beating. Flair gets in the ring and swings the handle until Benoit and Malenko come in and try to help. Hogan and Bagwell beat Flair down on the floor as the rest of the NWO subdues the Horsemen.

Hall goes through the curtain and says “now you see how it’s done. Don’t mess it up” before firing up the tazer to end the show.

Overall Rating: Agoobwa. This show was such a mess that I have no idea how to rate it. How could ANYONE have looked at this show and said it was a good idea? I knew things were going to get bad but this show sent the company flying off a cliff, bounced as it hit the ground and lit on fire, setting of an explosion to send its crispy remains into orbit where aliens blasted them into the sun. I don’t even know where to start with the problems this show had.

For one thing, WHY DIDN’T THE ANNOUNCERS SEE WHAT HAPPENED? How does that make things more entertaining or interesting? We saw the whole thing and know what happened (which I’ll get to later), but the announcers have no idea? They don’t see the Blonde in the hotel either, but at least that (presumably) isn’t stuff that’s happening live. It doesn’t add anything because the fans live are just as confused as they are (assuming the videos aren’t shown in the arena, though that would add even more insanity to this) and the TV audience knows what’s going on.

The lack of wrestling was a major problem tonight too. There were six matches on the entire show. Two of them were glorified extended squashes with Benoit/Malenko having to go through two teams that had no chance. Another match saw Hogan vs. Piper and set wrestling back ten years. Bret Hart beat up an actor which led nowhere, Jerry Flynn won a match and the luchadors wrestled a technical, mat based match until the last three minutes. This is also ignoring all the time being wasted, including a ten minute beatdown which could have been covered in about two minutes.

How in the world WCW thought this was a good idea or would make people want to buy Sunday’s show is beyond me. Over on Raw, the Rock and Mankind were having a good ladder match for the WWF Title. In case you’re wondering, Raw beat Nitro by two full points in the ratings for the worst drubbing Nitro had ever received when it was three hours compared to Raw’s two. If this isn’t the worst Nitro to date, I can’t remember the one that tops it. Absolutely horrible show that felt nothing like how the show is normally presented and that’s not a good thing.

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